#he'll destroy entire cities for the Hell of it

[bitebitesnap]

Raditz definitely has a harem of women he spares from worlds he's conquered. They usually tend to him whenever he's back on the ship, brushing his hair out and cleaning his armor for him. They're also the reason why he usually skips out on training-he'd rather be doted on by his ladies than exhaust himself on a pointless endeavor.

They have to make themselves useful to him otherwise Vegeta will kill them. Raditz can only make excuses for so long before his patience snaps so they usually stay very close to him.

Also imagine going from having your world devastated by a monster only to have the same guy purring in your lap a week later after he spared you. The whiplash.

[ozzgin]

Yandere! Demon King Headcanons

You have accepted the Demon King’s marriage proposal!

I wasn't planning on writing a second part, but some of you gave me ideas and I decided on short headcanons instead. The image of a big, buff, evil Overlord lovingly doing house chores for their human was too tempting.

Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance

[Main Story]

The proposal, as you quickly found out, came as a surprise to everyone. Not even the King’s loyal butler knew of such intentions; he’d assumed they were finally going to destroy everything and everyone at once. To him, the dramatic scene of you and his Lord enveloped in flames was anything but a romantic confession. It was your final battle. So one might imagine the poor lizard’s confusion when the Demon King returned with you following behind. “S-sir?” He questioned meekly. The armored creature nodded at his servant. “It has been done. We’ll plan the wedding upon our arrival home.” The what? His baffled expression must’ve given him away, because the Demon continued: “What’re you gawking like that for? Didn’t I ask you earlier how humans forge a bond?” The butler stumbled to search for his words, swallowing dryly. “Well y-yes, your Majesty…I just didn’t expect it to be anything more than curiosity.”

The same speechless reaction repeated itself all the way to the Kingdom. Soldiers, diplomats, other monstrous entities of the unknown Land, they all greeted you in disbelief. So much, in fact, that you began to poke fun at their hesitant response: “I am his mortal enemy”, you’d announce with a dramatic bow. “Spouse! We talked about this!” the Demon Lord would quickly correct you, flustered.

Truth be told, you're not quite sure what made you accept this ridiculous offer. Perhaps a mixture of intrigue and disillusionment. The city you've dedicated yourself to stood no longer, burnt to a crisp along with its corruption and crookery. In a way, the monster had unshackled you from a responsibility you no longer wanted to bear. And if that wasn't enough to convince you, well, the sight of the Ruler himself kneeling before you certainly sealed the deal.

Although it may take a while for you to accept the idea that your worst adversary had actually been infatuated with you this entire time. Were there even any hints? During your last battle you nearly died. You'd crawled out of an enormous crater on your fours, bones shattered and ligaments torn. When you pointed this out to your groom-to-be, he stared at you in horror. "I had no idea humans were that fragile. I was trying to adjust my strength so as to not do any harm." You could only nod, patting away the sweat beads forming on your forehead. Uh huh. Maybe it's better you didn't experience his full range of attacks.

Ever since the devastating revelation, he's been extra careful when handling you. Sometimes he'll awkwardly hover his large hands above you, with a concentrated frown on his face. "What the hell are you doing?" you ask, eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm trying to be gentle." he'll answer. "You're not even touching me." Fair point, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

The Demon King will often ask you about customs from your world as a way to make you comfortable, just in case you get struck by the occasional homesickness. His Realm is very different from what you're used to, after all. Lamentably, his own years spent in the human world were not too fruitful from a cultural point of view. He was either busy stalking you or devouring the souls of the innocent. Now that he has nothing else to worry about, he will gladly listen and even do his best to actively participate.

You wake up shrouded in thick smoke. Overwhelmed by heavy déjà vu, you rush down the grand stairs, searching for the source of the fire. Are you being attacked? Enemies of the Demon King? You elbow yourself against the kitchen door, similar to when you left your home to find the city ablaze. The Demon Lord turns to face you, visibly overwhelmed and exhausted. You gawk at the scene unfolding before you and remember to close your mouth, mainly out of politeness. "It's too small. I'm afraid I cannot use it", he reveals timidly, holding a human spatula between his fingers to showcase the impractical size difference. You glance at the disastrous attempt behind him and manage to deduce he'd been trying to make breakfast. In an unspoken agreement, he steps back and allows you to take over.

"I'm surprised you let him burn down the kitchen", you mention to the butler once you get a moment to yourself. The scaly servant sighs, and theatrically lifts his clawed hands in hopelessness. "Pointless to argue with him when he's like this, (Y/N). In my entire life serving the Family, I've never witnessed a more stubborn leader." He points to the lavish portraits adorning the walls with a faint smile. "And, to put it frankly, he's obsessed with you. I've never seen him in a more deplorable state. Marrying a human?! The shame, the outrage!” he cries out. “No offense intended to you, of course. You must understand." You hum in agreement, a tad uncomfortable, yet sympathetic. "M-maybe it'll tone down after the wedding?" you suggest as encouragement. "Oh, no, I suspect it will only get worse", he bemoans in return. Then, he promptly straightens his back and resumes his duties.

You go on your own way, not wanting to burden the lizard in his work. As you cross the hallway, you find the Demon King himself scanning each room, somewhat agitated. He notices you and his features soften. "I was wondering where you'd vanished." You approach him with the words of the butler still ringing in your ears.

[drowningparty]

I have some thoughts re: Kayne / godhood (spoilers for intermezzo)

I don't think Kayne respects any of the other gods. He definitely doesn't respect the King in Yellow, he knocked him over the head w/ an oversized mallet to give him amnesia and stuck him in Arthur's head and reduced the Dreamlands to "a lawless waste" for a laugh. He also destroyed his city for the hell of it. He doesn't fucking care. He's rude to John, ignores him, says 'Arthur' when referring to both of them. I thought I noticed this undercurrent of quiet animosity, but felt vindicated during 40 + Intermezzo b/c he was suddenly soooooo loud! Ignoring & talking over John? Check. Telling him he's not special like Arthur? Check. Saying he'll torture him worse than Arthur just because he can? Check. My theory is it's b/c John's still a god, technically. Like the whole, choosing your own name + path... you'd think would be something Kayne could sympathize with (as much as Kayne can feel sympathy), but...........no. He knows John is easier to manipulate w/ fear (he can send him back to the Dark World w/ a snap of his fingers), and saves his faux sympathy for Arthur.

I think this is b/c he likes humans. Sure, he also likes killing them, but I don't think those impulses are mutually exclusive. Kayne's the most "human" of the gods we've met. He talks like a human, makes pop culture references, looks passingly human, etc. I think he envies them, in a way? They have a freedom I think he lacks as a god, even though they are confined to one timeline. We still don't fully understand how gods work, but from his description alone it sounds like he thinks of them as limited. They have incredible power compared to mortals, they exist outside the piano... but are confined to a single key. Which sounds to me like their path is predetermined and they're not intended to develop free will. Kayne's an anomaly b/c he does, or tries to.

He wants to put humans in an antfarm, perhaps as a demonstration of his free will. That's all Carcosa was, right? An antfarm. He wanted to play godzilla, smash the ants. Arthur's another ant in a different farm, and he watched his entire life play out across several verses to try to figure him out. What makes him unique is he dies in every other verse. Kayne can't figure out what makes this Arthur so special that he survives when all the others don't, but it implies he did something right with his free will, that this version is an "anomaly" like Kayne. He respects that, b/c it means this version of Arthur has done the same thing he has: taken control of their narrative. Even Kayne choosing his own name is an example of that. Becoming Kayne, rejecting the title Nyarlathotep and all the baggage that comes with it, the expectation to be what his father wants, a messenger for the outer gods (although he may still want that, I expect whatever his intentions are re: the Black Stone, they're his, not Azathoth's).

Arthur is usually a mirror for character's to see their humanity reflected, but instead of seeing his humanity (b/c he has none), Kayne looks at Arthur and sees himself. Which... surprised me? He seems so confident in his godhood, I thought he just viewed Arthur as his fave toy or human, like even in the S4 finale I found it hilarious how he kept going: "why can't you all just be more like Arthur???" apropo of.....nothing, but he didn't treat him like someone he identified with, so it caught me off-guard when he compared himself to Arthur, but that's big for a god! and I think it supports my thesis he envies humans for their freedom. Their roles aren't as "established" as a god's. Humans have free will, something he had to kill every other version of himself to gain. Even then, I think absorbing his alts (???) or whatever he did after killing them to become more powerful fucked him up, may have driven him mad if he wasn't already when he started this exercise in defending-himself-from-ever-getting-deleted, like he doesn't sound okay when he's talking to himself.

TLDR: Kayne thinks Arthur's special b/c he lived, when all the other Arthur's in Kayne's Arthur-Killing-Experiment died! (: Kayne can't figure out why, but he likes not knowing why. He likes humanity b/c of their freedom, b/c he's a chaos god who wants as much freedom as possible. And he's aware gods are fallible, they can be deleted, which takes all the romance out of godhood. Kayne's the most powerful god we've met b/c he's taken steps to emulate humanity's free will, the thing that makes Arthur "special," but what makes Arthur "hard to see" is probably his humanity. As much as Kayne likes humanity, I don't think it's something he can truly understand, which is why he enjoys sticking humans full of pins and trying.

I think it's neat Malevolent prizes humanity over godhood. Even gods seem to value humanity over godhood. John wants to become human. Yellow wants acceptance from a human. I think Kayne holds humans in higher esteem than gods. Those who look down on humans or try to 'ascend' and leave behind their humanity, like Larson, are clearly in the wrong. It's not seen as a weakness to be human, and even the parts of humanity that are usually written off as a weakness (our rage, grief, violence, desperation, etc...) are viewed as strengths in Malevolent, and I fucking love that about this show.

Anyway, I'll, uhh, shut up now.

[egg-emperor]

It's unfortunate how people have forgotten how cool Eggman is lately. Like he isn't some innocent old man, or a soft wholesome dad, or goofy harmless clown, he hasn't been at any point in the games. He's genuinely super cool and badass but it's being downplayed in favor of presenting him as some silly harmless docile domestic old man

I genuinely see him reduced to things like "silly angry dad" in those posts about summarizing Sonic characters for example- and despite it being a joke (one that really misunderstands his character), it does seem it's all the majority of fandom sees him as now. It's sad when you want to appreciate the cool stuff but nobody around you seems to like it or care

Now he's mostly treated like he's just a guy who doesn't really want to be evil and is actually innocent or excusable, or wants to be a villain but he's hardly one and is just very silly and not a threat at all (that's Boom Egg not game Egg), or is just A Dad to all the characters and an uncharacteristically perfect one at that. But man I just like him as he is in game

He's a villainous egotistical scientific genius, a dangerous destructive diabolical world conquering threat! He has dark intentions and builds epic machines, has thrilling intense violent fights with enemies, is selfish, threatening and murderous, commits world shattering atrocities, enjoys being terrible and causing trouble!

One of the ways he's most entertaining is through all the crazy diabolical shit he does! He's responsible for tons of the coolest moments in the series and many of the stories wouldn't even happen without him and his schemes! A lot of his charm and charisma is in the way he thrives as a villain with his showmanship, dramatics, and passion

His determination to keep trying to reach his goals and not let anyone stop him is a strength and admirable, it's not something he needs to give up and become good and sit around doing nothing like in Frontiers forever. His agency, security, and genuine confidence in himself and is villain is great and he doesn't need to lose it

Both his creativity and how fucked up he is shows in his awesome destructive robots, weapons, and dangerous theme parks and that makes it so fun and fascinating. His qualities and what makes him entertaining and admirable are all in his villainy, showing not in silly cute harmless ways but thrilling entertaining badass ways which is great

The way he's selfish, manipulative, dangerous, and lethal makes him an exciting threat and results in shocking and impactful moments in the series when other characters are affected by his harmful actions. It also makes him and his mind interesting to dig into and explore to understand his mindset and what makes him tick too

He wants to conquer the world, make everything about him with the entire world changed and built in his superior image with his logo on everything, and rule a glorious empire full of crazy creative deadly theme parks and robots, where everybody is forced to worship and serve. And he'll raise hell and cause mass amounts of destruction to get it

He builds dangerous destructive violent robots and traps poor critters inside and theme parks designed to kill you that throws you off the coasters, tries to wipe out cities, blows up government facilities, blows up half the moon and threatens to destroy the world next, holds people hostage sometimes with a gun to head, literally broke the world apart, and awakens terrifying eldritch horror monsters to use in his plans and will fight to the death to accomplish his goals and much much more

THAT'S COOL AS FUCK

It makes me more sad than angry that this isn't recognized, appreciated, and explored by more fans and people don't get that. I just want to find more people who enjoy this and are fascinated by this and want to talk about and explore this as much as I do but most people hardly ever really give it much thought. I only know a very small amount of people who actually talk about what Eggman does in the games at all, even though everything he does is badass and exciting and deserves so much more attention

Eggman is FUCKING AWESOME and I'm always going to emphasize and appreciate that here 💜🥚

[transingthoseformers]

I will Not Stand for bayverse Optimus Prime slander in this house not one bit.

That mech has all the signs of what I call "ugly PTSD" and he's most definitely not being treated for it and exactly nobody around him acknowledges it.

It's rather easy to see exactly why he gets more violent as the pentology goes on, because time and time again people are pushing his moral boundaries. More and more of his friends die, and he's gradually becoming more and more desensitized to death. Hell, he legitimately died for almost an entire movie and was resurrected in the middle of a major battle. The human government, which does at first present as a threat, afterwards consistently needles the autobots and makes it rather clear that "hey yeah we will betray you the very second we consider you not useful enough". And he goddamn tries to be at least polite to them, even in Darkside of the moon where they not only keep very important secrets for them but at the end decide to go on a full ass hunt. Most of the damage to the human cities is honestly because that's where the Decepticons decided to drag the autobots to, and something something purposeful choosing of battlefield because Megatron knew that would fuck with Optimus and that that's where he could cause the most damage. It's why in the real world military leaders choose to hit the most populated areas in enemy territory, because it's tearing into vital places. The great Cybertronian war we see in the bayverse films is a dirty and rough war that's clearly caused so much horrors on every front, and Optimus tries (and fails) to play damage control.

In the beginning of AoE? There's a reason that the instant he wakes up, he goes full fight mode because he can't run. He's absolutely fucking terrified that he'll die like his friends, and he's trapped in a very small space. Even as the movie progresses and he's become attached to these three humans, the other autobots we meet deride him for this because they have very good reason to mistrust the humans the same way they mistrusted the Decepticons. Hell, I'd argue he has less reason because of how we see the humans straight up torture and experiment on the Cybertronians they get a hold of. They quite literally bring back one of there greatest enemies and nearly end up destroying the whole planet with the cyberforming seed.

Nemesis Prime we see in the last knight? That shit was inevitable. He wasn't just manipulated by Quintessa or tortured by Quintessa. She straight up psychologically broke him down to his core and rebuilt him to her liking for her goal. Now being honest that last movie was fairly ehhhhh and the quest in it was pretty human based, but when we see Optimus broke out of his Nemesis persona I'd argue that he's not the same Optimus we see in the first movie, hell not even the same mech we saw in AoE. At the end of the movie, he has been through hell and back several times and just. Doesn't know what to do. The ending of that movie is messy as hell and leaves us on a major cliffhanger and the earth is irrevocably changed. But, just because he isn't Nemesis anymore doesn't mean he's magically fixed.

[mathewryf]

A rant about Prime Sonic and Perfect Chaos

Okay I'm fucking losing my mind right now because of all of those Nine posts, and there's something I need to state again.

The version of Sonic that Sonic Prime presented flies completely in the face of the Sonic that we used to have, and that ending is where things make it REALLY apparent.

Regardless of the whole continuity problem that official channels have presented, there's a fundamental misunderstanding of how Sonic does things that makes Nines fate upsetting.

To diplay what I mean, let me go over a specific scene. You could even call this my "One Heroic Scene".

Let's talk about this scene from Sonic Adventure, the leadup to the final fight against Perfect Chaos.

From the beginning of this game, Sonic has been fighting Chaos, and up until the last chunk of his story he's assumed it's just been some sort of mindless beast under Eggman's control. Regardless of how many setbacks there were, he fought chaos off with no qualms.

He, along with the rest of the cast, gradually learn more about Chaos through Tikal's visions, and he eventually pieces together how Chaos came to be so violent. Sonic doesn't encounter Chaos again after he gets that information, at least not until it snatches the last Chaos Emerald in the Mystic Ruins Jungle. After that point it floods Station Square, completely destorying the city.

That's about where this scene picks up. Tikal shows up, begging Sonic to seal Chaos away in the Master Emerald once more... and Sonic blatantly refuses. Knowing what he knows at that point, he refuses to seal Chaos away again because it won't actually solve anything.

Chaos would have still been in turmoil.

Chaos would have still been in pain.

Chaos would have continued to suffer. Further, Chaos would cause more suffering the next time the Master Emerald broke (and there definitely would have been a next time, even without SA2).

Whether Sonic knew about the whole "positive/negative energy" thing or not, he had the conviction to resolve the situation then and there. More importantly, he chose to forgo the easier route of sealing Chaos away for the sake of sparing it that cruelty.

Even though Chaos had lashed out and caused so much pain, Sonic was still willing to take the harder path for the chance that the turmoil in Chaos's heart could be dispelled.

He did all that for someone that he considered his enemy, and he fought his heart out to reach that goal.

SO, if he would do that for Chaos, who was at best a stranger, and at worst his enemy...

Why the hell wouldn't he do it for Nine, whom he considers a friend?

That's why I can't stand the ending of Prime. If Sonic in Prime had been written closer to the version that Sonic Team envisioned, he would NOT have left Nine alone in the Grim.

Because leaving Nine in the Grim wouldn't have changed anything.

And yet Prime Sonic did that.

He left Nine's heart in turmoil.

Nine is isolated, alone, and still in pain.

And thanks to the show not getting a further season, he'll probably be left in that state forever.

Before anyone comes to me about Nine getting what he deserved.

I need to remind you that Chaos leveled an entire metropolitain city.

Chaos would deserve being sealed away, too. But Sonic disagreed with that because Chaos didn't deserve to be left suffering.

Ultimately I don't think Sonic would have cared all that much about Nine trying to destroy multiple realities, either, once he finally got through to him. That's still a hurt kid at the end of the day.

[writingutshipficscuzimbored]

An Unholy Alliance

Fandom: undertale AUs

AUs: underfell & storyfell

Ship: uf!Sans x ssf!Chara

Chapter Two: Ad Absurdum

“what's first?” Sans asks, “well, first i need time to think.” He says, taking a puff from his cigarette. “And to rest for a moment.”

Chara crouches down slightly to meet his eyes, “Aww, come on. Tired already?” They ask, in a disappointed tone. “We barely fought for tha-”

“would you shut the fuck up?” Sans asks angrily, cutting them off. “let's just sit down over here,” he says, walking over to a destroyed pillar and sitting down.

Chara follows, stopping for a moment and looking around at the barely recognizable corridor, letting out a laugh. “We really tore this place asunder, didn’t we?” They say, before sitting down.

Sans chuckles, “happens more often than you’d think.” He says, leaning back against the pillar, “this place gets torn to shit 'least once a decade.”

“The one back home has never even been repaired…” Chara says, slouching and resting their head on their fist, “if it was ever completed to begin with.”

Sans lets out a short chuckle, before falling silent for a few moments. “on that subject: what is your home like?” He asks, looking over to them.

“War torn. To say the least. And quite obviously, a lot of people are in completely different positions than they are here. Still the same people, just- shifted around.” They say, pulling a cigarette out of their jacket, “in a lot of ways, it’s very similar to here. People are violent, and full of malice. Just… far more chaotic.”

Sans turns his body to face Chara, now invested in their story. “yer gonna have to elaborate more than that. you said i was the king earlier, which means that papyrus is the prince, most likely residing in the ruins. is that correct?” He asks.

“You’re smart, I’ll give you that.” They say, correcting their posture, “I’ll elaborate in a moment, if you could give me a light, first.” They say holding out their cigarette.

Sans says nothing, simply using his cigarette flame to light theirs.

Chara relaxes, smoking for a couple seconds. “In my world, you are the king. The prince left you long ago due to your lingering hatred of humanity, and some massive disagreement, the specifics of which were lost to time.” They say, “And that separation destroyed him. Some call him lazy, some call him incompetent. Whatever the case, the kingdom fell into despair. Individual factions rising up, waging war against each other, and the king.” They add, going back to smoking.

“interesting” Sans says, “how bad did the underground get? and where did everyone else end up?” He asks, standing up, dropping his cigarette on the floor and crushing it with his foot.

Chara laughs, covering their forehead with their palm. “The underground has nearly been completely destroyed, by now. Cities turned to ashes, entire sections of the underground rendered uninhabitable. It’s a nightmare.” They say, before standing up.

Sans laughs, “and i thought our situation was fucked up.”

Chara takes a deep breath, “As for everyone else: my mother, Toriel is the Captain of the Royal Guard; my father Asgore is the Royal Scientist; my brother is a Royal Guardsman as well, he'll probably become captain one day; Undyne is a TV star, and the only real beacon of hope left in the underground; and I’ve never seen Alphys.” Chara says, “and I guess me and Asriel take you and your brothers place.”

Sans starts walking, “i see.” He says, gesturing Chara to follow him with a wave of his hand. “and what about you? how the hell did you end up being adopted by the dreemurr family?” He asks.

Chara catches up to him, matching his pace as they walk through the destroyed corridor. “I fell down an entrance in the Wetlands- or “Waterfall” as you call it here. Asriel found and helped me, then bargained for my life.” They say as they exit the hallway. “Mother accepted me with open arms, Father… was far more curious than accepting.”

The two stop as Chara admires the city.

“i highly doubt you were kept a secret for long, how that go down?” Sans asks.

Chara lets out an uncomfortable laugh, “Well, the king found out. We don’t know how, but he did. He wouldn’t listen to a word mother told him, and was very set on having me executed. That was until…” Chara takes a deep breath, “Father made some kind of deal with him.”

“a deal?” Sans asks, turning to make eye contact with Chara.

Chara takes one last puff from their cigarette, and then smothers it against their hand, leaving a burn mark. “Frequently, Father would abduct me at night, and take me to his lab. There’d he’d inject me with God knows what, do all manners of experiments, and all kinds of weird surgeries. He didn’t even bother to put me under anesthetic.” They say.

“no wonder you’re a fuckin psycho,” Sans says, half joking, “does that also correlate with you being unnaturally resilient?” He asks.

“Yes, actually.” Chara responds, smiling. “After it was all said and done, my body was completely different, my physical condition was greatly enhanced, and most importantly: I had near unlimited stamina, and immense regenerative capabilities.” They explain, “that’s why I was able to walk off nearly everything you threw at me.”

Sans sits down on the ledge overlooking the city, Chara joins him. “how strong is this regeneration?” He asks.

Chara smiles, placing their right hand on the ground, next to Sans. “How about I show you?” They say, drawing attention to their hand, “You know what to do.”

Sans looks at them in confusion, completely baffled at the suggestion.

“Do it.”

Without a second thought, Sans summons a red bone in his hand and stabs clean through Chara's palm.

Chara groans in pain, while letting out a breathless laugh.

Sans removes the bone, watching the blood trickle off the edge.

“Now watch,” Chara says, holding up their hand, as it slowly heals. “There,” they say waving their hand, “good as new.”

“how the hell?” Sans asks, shocked “what did he do to you?”

Chara shrugs, “No idea, all I know is that I’m like this now.” They say nonchalantly, “all I remember about the experiments is that they were excruciatingly painful.”

Sans pauses, taking their hand and inspecting it, “and when did he start doing these experiments on you?” He asks.

“When I was about 6-ish.” Chara responds casually.

Sans freezes his hand clenching into a fist, left eye glowing orange and yellow, and his body tensing up.

“Uh… partner?” Chara asks, tapping on Sans' shoulder, “Are you okay?”

Sans snaps back to normal, looking around for a moment. “yeah, i’m fine…” he says, attempting to play it off, “…from what i can tell, you were their human weapon?”

Chara pauses, confused by his behavior, but answers regardless, “Well, yes, or at least- that was what they intended… I am loyal to Asriel and Mother due to their kindness. However, I did not share that same loyalty for Asgore, or the King.” They explain, cracking their back, “but, that’s a story for another time.”

“right.” Sans responds.

“What about you?”

Sans' head snaps to look at Chara, “huh?”

“What’s your story? You’ve clearly been through a lot, as well.” Chara asks.

Sans shakes his head, “it’s not important. what is important is the plan. i have a lab beneath my house, i’ll take us there now.” He says, avoiding the question.

“Whatever you say, partner.”

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Help, my flatmate roped me into a DnD group and I'm going to finally get to play a character I've had slowly cooking in my brain for about six months and I can just Feel the brainworms taking root

So, here's many and various fun facts about Benjamin Larkwright, war wizard:

He started out as a combo of Thomas Nightingale and Obi-Wan Kenobi, and ended up with a decent dose of Sam Vimes in there as well which is very fun (weld Vimes' arc on to the end of Obi-Wan's story instead of him dying and you basically end up with Nightingale, which is something very fun I only noticed when I thought about all three of them at once)

He's aroace

He's a moustache guy, of the early 20th century soldier sort of vibe, and one of those folks with brown hair whose facial hair is noticeably more ginger

He's got. Nineteen (19) total hit points at 4th level, I rolled like Garbage, he's terrifying squishy

(But I took War Caster and Spell Sniper as feats so ideally he'll be raining death on his enemies from Very Far Away from all that melee nonsense)

His arcane focus is the engraved metal cap on the end of his quarterstaff, and he made it from scratch himself as part of his magic training

We started with extra gold since we're starting at level 4, and he's ended up being the 'Pack Full of Random Useful Items' Guy (also the only one with land vehicles proficiency, so he'll end up being the Designated Driver, and why do I always end up playing the Party Dad Friend...)

Highlights from The Pack of Everything include a crowbar, a scroll case, a bullseye lantern (with oil flasks for fuel and also throwing with the spell Catapult, an option I'm very excited about), a shovel, a bag of caltrops and one of ball bearings, manacles, and a grappling hook

He learned his magic in the army as a young man, but quit after his specialist unit of wizards was almost entirely wiped out. His whole military pension and his entire inheritance goes towards supporting the families of his dead comrades and paying the medical bills of the survivors

He's also the last surviving member of his family (wiped out by the war he fought in) and technically he has a title that he inherited from his father, but he Never uses it

The man's got So Much survivor's guilt, poor chap

He took a job with the City Watch so he could afford to eat, and then spent about a decade in a holding pattern not really looking after himself and not doing any magic and just generally being Pretty Miserable and trying to pretend to himself that he wasn't (see: Vimes, pre-Guards! Guards!; Obi-Wan between trilogies; and Nightingale pre-Rivers of London, and you see what I mean about their stories overlapping?)

Until one day he got dragged into Shenanigans by a nobleman he was guarding who turned out to be a gentleman spy, and he ended up using his magic for the first time in years in order to save the day

And it turned out picking magic back up again and using it to help people was the purpose he'd been trying to pretend he didn't need in his life

So he dug his staff out of the back of a cupboard, cleaned the cobwebs off it, set about relearning all the magic that he gave up when he destroyed his old spellbook back in the day, and quit the Watch to become an adventurer

Personality-wise, he's Obi-Wan but stiffer and with significantly less people skills, and Nightingale at his most brisk and soldierly. The Vimes influence is more in his backstory than personality, but he's got shades of the temper and the Strong Opinions as well. He's polite, respectful (unless someone proves they don't deserve it, in which case he is Very obvious with his disapproval), formal, got a bit of a temper but also nerves of steel, stubborn as all hell, likes to solve his problems head-on, got a strong sense of duty and obligation, and got a surprisingly sly sense of humour.

And he's got a moustache. I've mentioned that already but it greatly entertains me so I'm pointing it out again.

I love him a lot, I'm excited to get to actually play him. (We're starting next week!)

[an-aura-about-you]

a great big Handbook for Mortals rewrite

(with apologies to Caleb Joseph who basically did the same thing. please go watch his videos on youtube.)

you ever stop and realize that you can rewrite a story and actually tell the story that the author says she was trying to tell? because it's surprisingly easy to do that with Handbook for Mortals and STILL retain the wish fulfillment rags to riches and romance story that Lani Sarem was going for:

-first off, Zade can still want to leave home for a normal life but maybe she doesn't want to leave Tennessee since Zade thinks of Tennessee as home. maybe Memphis is calling her name, a nice big city away from where she lives now so she can set up her own little life. after all, it's not like she and Dela should have to live together their entire lives, and while there's an implication that witches aren't mortals, it does seem possible for them to die, so there's no guarantee that Dela will live forever.

-but then something happens: some of the churchy townsfolk destroy their family home! then we get an actual example of how Zade and Dela are ostracized as well as an inciting incident that forces Zade to move away so she can earn the money they need to rebuild the home and Dela is forced to accept that her girl has grown up and this is the best option to get what they need.

-Zade goes to Las Vegas to work for Spellman's show because she knows he pays his people well. BUT she asks for a job backstage because that's the thing she did growing up and she still wants to live a normal life. and SHE'S the one who asks him to keep the fact that she's his daughter quiet so nobody gives her a hard time for this. she's not asking her dad for a handout. she actually wants to earn it because of her pride.

-though these events do remind Spellman that he still has a soft spot for Dela, which will eventually turn into him gently breaking things off with Sofia, who is sad but understands since yeah, their relationship HAS been on the rocks and they were both kinda playing chicken over who would end it.

-Zade and Sofia don't get along at first because Charles accidentally introduces Sofia as his girlfriend first, which Sofia is quick to amend with, "And lead performer." this is the opposite of how it goes in the book where Charles introduces Sofia as one of the lead performers and Sofia's the one to emphasize she's his girlfriend. and Sofia figures out Zade is Spellman's daughter due to the little, subtle resemblances. (in the book, Zade says she looks just like her mom, but I also look just like my mother and people can still find features that make me resemble my dad.) so BOTH of them think the other one only got their job because of Charles and not on the merits of their own work. and it would actually make sense because how the hell is Zade going to prove she's got good backstage crew experience? that's not the sort of thing a person films like a magic act! and this culminates in the two of them having a heart to heart where Zade breaks down because all she ever wanted was a normal life, she didn't ask for any of this, she's just doing it because she wants to help her mom.

-so wait, what's "all of this" in the breakdown? well what happens is Zade is forced to take a role as a performer because Sofia has an accident that takes her out of the show for a while. Charles cuts Sofia's illusion against her protests because he knows she needs to recover physically! so Zade is apologizing to Sofia because she never meant to replace her.

-Sofia's accident is caused by a magical glitch planted by a character that we will be meeting when I go over Chapter 7. this character is also a magic user and does this to force Zade to use her magic, which she does to save Sofia's life. this also spurs her enemies arc with her boss Mac because she sees what's causing the glitch but Mac can't because he can't see the magic. so Mac is the one who forces Zade to move on because she's taking too long on that part and he says he'll handle it and puts her on a different task in spite of her protests. and then after she saves Sofia by making the stage a transport spot to the pool, she doesn't explain to Mac how she did it, which just pisses him off even further. Zade also doesn't tell Sofia she saved her life, so this is not a turning point in their relationship.

-it's also why Zade has to use her real magic in her trick with Spellman: she ISN'T a performer and doesn't know how to do actual mundane prestidigitation. Zeb gets on her case about this, telling her that she needs to be really careful about how she uses it because she could accidentally reveal it to everyone. Zade then asks Zeb to train her to make it more subtle as well as actual sleight of hand so that it's easier to hide.

-also just gonna toss this out here: Zade will still be short for Scheherazade but she's gonna say she INTENTIONALLY says it wrong compared to her full name because she's kind of uncomfortable/embarrassed about being a white girl named Scheherazade but has gotten used to being called Zade. so she doesn't want to completely change her name but feels going by Zade is enough comfortable distance from it. this admittedly is less about what Sarem wants and what I think would play better because, yeah, sometimes parents don't think through their kids' names.

-there's going to be a scene where Zade does a tarot spread to try to figure out which love interest is better suited to her, and that's gonna be a whole rant for later, but in my rewrite I would replace that with a different form of divination. see, by this point in the story, she has encountered the antagonist magic character I mentioned before but is very unbothered by her and we just skim over the tarot reading she did regarding her. I will touch on that later, but to me it would work so much better if she tried to read that either with a crystal ball or a scrying mirror. then the results she gets will make much more sense.

-I would also give her another purpose to her wanting to divine information about Mac and Jackson: she can feel her magic diffusing and, in a plot idea I CAN'T believe I'm taking from Lightlark, she knows this is because she is developing deep feelings of love for one of them and they will then have some measure of control over her magic as well. so she needs to figure out which one it is so she knows what's happening with her powers. this is also gonna fix a LOT of shit that happens later in the book that makes Zade come off as a total dumbass.

-there's going to be a misunderstanding about lovers and who Zade is seeing, and I would simplify this to contain it to just the Mac/Zade/Jackson love triangle. at this point, I've made it clear that Zade/Mac is endgame, so the scene would be Zade telling Jackson she's made her choice and she's telling him goodbye. but oh no! Mac sees Zade giving Jackson a goodbye kiss and gets the wrong idea leading to their dramatic falling out before shit hits the fan!

-also I would. actually give Zade some friends. I mentioned Lil, but she's literally only going to be in one more scene and then never seen again, and I already dunked on Zade not really caring about Lil. I would make them actual friends, and then after the heart to heart with Sofia, the group of them would be Zade, Lil, Sofia, and Mel. enough for a proper girls night! Zade is admittedly not a girly girl, but when she joins them for a sleepover, it ends up being a fun night and she discovers that hey, being like other girls actually isn't bad. again, this isn't something Sarem necessarily wants, but it is something she claims Zade wants. (being friends, not the girly stuff.) but part of friendship is listening to your friends about what they like even if it's not a thing you're necessarily into and being supportive. friends don't have to like all the same things, and that would be a good lesson for Zade to learn.

anyway these are my thoughts on how to doctor the story while still trying to retain Sarem's wish fulfillment fantasy. thoughts?

[sentfromwolves]

⛓️ for the big dumb dog atticus

HEHEHEHEHE

⛓️ - what would they do if they were held captive?

Atticus is a god so if someone were to hold him captive they'd better pray they can keep him that way, because the moment he breaks out, all his wounded pride and arrogance is going to bust a fucking lid and he'll wreck their entire place. He'll desecrate an entire city. he'll make his captors life a living hell. the last thing you ever want to do is wound atticus's pride, and putting him in chains is such a fast way to do that. and while he's in chains, he's livid, snarling, a rabid dog you've got barely locked away, and you need to keep him well out of arms reach because he'll bite your fingers off if he can.

now, if someone is using leverage to keep him captive... like... say, aurora. that changes things. because then you've got a livid rabid beast of a god, but he'll do anything to make sure they're safe and unharmed, and if that means yielding to demands, if that means becoming a monster for someone else's bidding only until he can find a way to get aurora out and safe again, he'll do it. but the moment he's got her back and he's free, they'd better hope aurora can talk sense into him, because he'll destroy them all.

[annwrites]

a house in hawkins. part nine.

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: part of a series

— summary: billy comes to you with good news, but you don't react accordingly & everything falls apart...or does it?

— tw: suicidal ideation, self-harm, attempted suicide

— word count: 2,970

— tag list: @stoneyweezin @ganjas-shit

When Billy comes to you that evening, you're waiting for him in the room where you'd made love just the night before. You sit up on the mattress and smile when you see the elated look upon his face.

"Good news, then?" You ask with a small laugh.

He reaches down, taking your hand in his and pulling you to your feet. "A few weeks ago, I started applying for jobs in California—it's where I grew up—and I've always wanted to return. I really...I didn't think I'd ever hear anything back, but an auto assembly line out there wrote that they have a position waiting for me. I called this morning and told them I'd take it. They're willing to pay a portion of my traveling expenses, and apparently there's apartments nearby. After work, I went to a realtor in town and put my house up for sale. I leave in three days."

Your heart cleaves in two.

He steps closer, taking your face in his hands. "Come with me. There's nothing keeping you here. You're eighteen now and free to go. You can leave all of this behind. All of them. I'll take care of you. Let...let me take you away from this place."

He crushes his lips to yours, his body practically vibrating from joy, while you fill with self-loathing, knowing that what you're about to do...you have no other choice.

He has a chance at a new life. One you're sure he's always dreamed of. And you pray to God—if he even exists—that he finds everything he's looking for and so much more.

You just won't be part of it. You can't be.

Because if you are, you will destroy it. That's what you do to every single fucking thing you touch: destroy. Fill it with sickness and disease. Because that's what—who—you are. A disgusting, revolting, broken creature.

This house is where you belong. This town. With those men. They are all you'll ever be worthy of.

You suddenly regret the two of you ever meeting, for his own sake.

At least when he's gone...you'll have something to hold onto. Because when you return home—you know you'll be a walking corpse. A young girl that has died inside—her only source of life and goodness gone. Forever.

You have to save him from you.

You have to.

You must.

You pull back, putting your mask on. You know how to do this. How to play this part. You've been doing it your entire life. And will now never get another chance to stop. You have to become her—this twisted, broken girl. You must make him believe it. Must convince him.

You lean back against the wall, crossing your arms, smirking. "I really fooled you, didn't I?"

His brows furrow. "What?"

You snort. "Do you think men are the only ones capable of creating notches in their belts?" You cock your head to the side. "I mean, we both know I never wanted you here in the first place, but since you refused to leave me the fuck alone just like the rest of them, I figured this time I'd do something for myself. I mean, you're gorgeous, but that's about it. Not even as good of a lay as I'd been hoping for."

Your lip twitches. "Most of you city boys are a soft fuck. I had to go to Scott this afternoon to give me what I'd really been hoping for. Thank God he knew how to give it to me."

He shakes his head. He knows what you're doing, and he's not going to just let go that easily.

"How stupid do you think I am?"

You shrug. "What was it you once called yourself? A washed-up mechanic, right? So...because you were sweet on me, you thought...what? We'd run away together? Maybe get married, settle down in suburban hell, and I'd push out a couple of kids that're just as worthless as you are?"

He bites the inside of his cheek.

You want to drown yourself in the pond. Maybe this time you will.

This heartbreak will be temporary for him. He'll move on, quickly forgetting about you. And the thought makes you happy. He'll find someone new and so much better, so much more worthy of him. He'll have a really good life. You need for him to find that.

You take a step toward him. "I told you before who it is that I love: Scott. What I told you last night..." You shrug again. "Lying comes easily to me when it gets me what I want. And it did. Well, sort of. Like I said, it really wasn't all that memorable."

He shakes his head, glancing away, his eyes stinging with tears.

And you silently plead for him to just go. Please. Please. Don't make me go on. Let this be enough. Let go of me. I'm not worth it, baby.

"You had enough yet?" You ask with a giggle that makes you feel ill.

He looks back to you. "T-this isn't you. Please, stop. Just, angel-"

He reaches for you and you step away.

No, don't touch me. Not that. Or I might give you everything you're silently begging me for with those beautiful wide eyes.

You know you have to strike a final blow. You've never hated yourself more.

"I get it now. Why your mother left. Can't say that I blame her. She saw early-on what kind of kid she was going to get stuck with. So, she did the best thing for herself by leaving you behind. As for your dad..." You pause. "I wonder what drove him to it. What you did to deserve it."

He reels back like you've hit him.

Die. You want to fucking die.

You are the worst person to have ever lived. Evil incarnate. Worthless, cruel, stupid girl.

You deserved what Scott and Joe did to you. What they will continue to once Billy has gone, and you are all that remains.

You hope they kill you.

Because without Billy...you have no reason left to live anyway.

He chokes back a sob and you briefly consider throwing yourself out the window.

Please, baby, just go.

He shakes his head, wiping his cheeks. "I-" He lets out a shuddering breath. "I wanted to give you a new life. I wanted...I wanted to be a safe place for you. Like you told me I was."

"Well, I lied."

He wipes his cheeks again, then looks at you and it takes every single fucking ounce of strength that you have left not to break as you stare back at him. You want so badly to undo it. To make his hurt go away. But you can't. You're doing this for him. It's the only way you'll get him to let go.

"This is what you want? To stay here? All alone? With them?" His tone is that of disbelief.

You settle your hand over your stomach. "There's only one man I want any sort of future with. And now we'll have one."

A lie. You'd taken four tests just to make sure. And you weren't. But if you could make him think otherwise...

His face crumples.

You don't know if you can survive this. If you want to bother trying. What reason was there to do so now?

All is silent for a moment, your heart pounding in your ears the only thing you hear, until he breaks the silence.

"I'll go."

You could nearly cry from relief. You'd done it. You'd saved him.

"Don't let the door hit ya on the way out," you throw toward him as he turns.

His shoulders slump and you watch him leave, listen as his boots slowly thump against the stairs. And when the front door slams closed, you fall to the floor and shatter.

For the next two days, you don't go home. You barely eat. You wander around the house aimlessly—your heart jumping at every small noise you hear, hoping it's him.

You know he's not coming back.

You'll spend the rest of your life standing on the outskirts of town waiting for him to return.

You spend all of your time crying and hurting yourself. You throw yourself against walls until you're covered in bruises. You spend the better part of the first night sitting in the room where the mattress lays, slowly banging your head against the wall until you have a pounding headache. You break furniture. You scream. You cry. You vomit. You smack yourself and pull out your hair and cover yourself in scratches, dragging your nails down your arms and legs. Because you know: you deserve this.

You go to the pond and try to drown yourself. After two gulps of water, you'd emerged, puking everywhere, gasping for breath. Coward. You couldn't even do that much. What right did you have to be alive?

You'd try again in time.

You lie in the tall grass, hoping a snake finds you and kills you, since you seem unable to do the job yourself.

You make a noose out of one of the sheets from the spare room and leave it hanging from the ceiling and you sit there for half-a-day considering, imagining your body swinging from the rafters.

The one thing you were certain of was that if you died—you wanted it to be here.

On the third day, you wake early—before dawn—and you know it's useless, but you return home and pack a bag. You barely pay attention to what you're even shoving inside of it as your mind races.

You consider going to his house, falling on your knees and begging for forgiveness, but you won't do that to him. You won't force him into such a decision with guilt.

You'll leave the choice up to him.

You quickly write a letter, addressed to Joe's wife with no return address and shove it in the mailbox as you hop on your bike for the first time and you race back to the house, leaving the thing on the side of the road as you run through the trees—branches tearing your face to ribbons, but you don't care.

It's morning now, nearly ten. Would he already be on the road, headed west?

You shake the thought from your head as you enter the house, calling his name, racing up the steps...to find every room empty.

You slide your bag off of your shoulders and collapse.

You curl into a trembling, shaking mess upon the mattress, crying so hard you can't breathe.

What had you done? What had you done?

You can't...you can't live like this. You can't go back. Can't live without him. Can't live.

You can't.

"Please come back," you sob, imaging his car speeding away from town, already crossing into another state.

"Please, I'll do anything. I'm s-sorry!" You picture yourself lying beneath them as they tear you apart with their teeth and tongue and cocks and eyes.

You press your hands over your eyes. "I'll do anything. Please come back. Please."

Oh God, what was happening to you? You've never felt like this before. So...utterly terrified. Lost. You were lost.

"Please come back to me," you whimper, ready to stand. To use the noose. To-

"I did, angel."

You sit up so suddenly your head spins, and when Billy takes in the sight of you...covered in bruises and scratch marks...

Had they done that to you? Or had...had you?

You stand, swaying, before running to him, throwing yourself at him, wrapping your limbs around him as your body shudders and shakes from fear and sobs.

He picks you up, wrapping your legs around him as he sinks to the floor, one arm wrapped firmly around your back, the other cupping the back of your head as he rocks you, shooshing you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

He shooshes you, trying to calm you.

"Please. Please don't go. I'll do anything."

You pull back, reaching down, your hands shaking so hard as you begin tugging against his belt buckle.

He shakes his head, taking your hand in his. "Y/N, look at me-"

You crush your lips to his and then you pull back again, staring at him with wild eyes. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry-"

He pulls you back to him, continuing to rock you. "I'm here. You're safe. I'm here. You're in my arms. It's okay."

You bury your face in his neck. "The things I said—oh God—what did I do?" You stare at him, tears slipping down your cheeks. You begin to shake your head. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it-"

He cups your face in both of his hands. "I know. Angel, I know. I should've never fucking walked out that door. I can't-" Tears sting his eyes. "I'm so sorry that I left you here all alone. How the fuck could I have done that? Did...angel, did you do this to yourself?"

You nod, smiling. Maybe it'll make him happy, to see that you punished yourself from the awful things you'd made him listen to. "Y-yes, I did. I deserved it. I deserved it."

His chin wobbles and he swallows down the lump in his throat at the sight of you so far gone.

He holds you again. "Angel, you never deserved any of this."

Your voice raises in a panic. "The things I said-"

He shooshes you, smoothing the hair at the back of your head. "I know why. Either you were scared of it—leaving. Or just...commitment. Maybe-"

"I had to save you. From me. I-I had to."

His heart breaks further. You'd done it for him. It had nothing to do with you. Not for a moment.

How the fuck could he have left you alone in this house for three days? How?

And he'd nearly been on his way out before he'd slammed on the breaks, the car idling as he considered. He'd told himself to just leave—get out—and let you stay here where you belonged.

And then every moment together raced through his mind. You falling for him, trusting him, opening up, nearly...killing yourself that night not even two weeks ago you had been in so much pain. You needed someone, and he'd found you. And then to just...throw you away like that...?

Just the thought of them holding you down again and forcing you...

He'd thrown it in reverse then, muttering 'fuck this' before speeding back to you. Hoping—praying to God—he'd find you here.

But finding you like this...he should've come sooner.

He just holds you, coddling you, rocking you, shooshing you. Telling you over and over that you're safe, he loves you, he forgives you.

Finally, you begin to quiet, your body no longer shaking in terror.

You'd thought he had abandoned you. He'd never forgive himself.

You'd torn yourself apart literally over what you'd done.

Slowly, he pulls back, looking down at you, your eyes drooping from exhaustion.

"I'm not really pregnant. I'm sor-"

He gently presses his lips to your own; mildly relieved at the news. "Angel, everything is okay. I'm here. And I'm bringing you with me. I'm going to take care of you now."

You lay your head on his shoulder.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asks softly.

"A few days."

He nods. "When we get to the car, you can lie down in the backseat and rest. For however long you want."

He runs his hands along your back. "When...when we get to California, there's only one thing I need you to promise me."

You slowly look up at him. "I'll do anything you say."

He kisses your forehead gently. "Angel, I'll find you a doctor, but you have to promise me you'll go talk to them. You...you need professional help that I can't give-"

You nod. "I...I know."

He lets out a small breath of relief.

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Everything is okay now."

He goes to stand, sliding your backpack onto his shoulders before offering you his hand, which you take.

He pulls you toward the doorway and then you freeze.

"Wait. I can't leave them."

You quickly step back over to your dolls, placing them inside one another, then turning back to him.

He gives you a soft smile. "Anything else you'd like to bring?"

You walk over, slipping your hand into his. "No."

He considers, wanting to double-check.

And then he steps toward the room you'd hung the sheet in, but you don't manage to pull him away in time and he sees.

He feels sick at the sight of it. You'd decided not living was preferable to the idea of living without him.

He takes you into his arms, burying his face in your hair. "I'm so fucking sorry."

He begins to sob.

You sit in the passenger seat, assuring Billy you'll sleep soon, you just want to watch as the town enters the rearview, permanently left behind you.

You turn to him. "Are...are you sure about bringing me?"

He turns to you, cradling your face in his hand. "I've never been more sure of anything. I won't leave you behind again. I'll never forgive myself for trying to in the first place."

You kiss him gently.

You then turn back toward the windshield. The house is now out-of-sight, but you know it lies beyond the trees. "I think I might miss it."

"Maybe we'll come back one day to see it again."

You grow quiet. For a long while.

"No, I don't think I'd want that."

He nods, putting the car into gear. "Then we won't. We'll go find a new home instead. We'll make one together."

[the-firebird69]

There is an evacuation on still it is huge they're leaving rapidly the entire globe to the islands, even the West and it's true they're leaving their posts out there and leaving the cities and they're moving out very fast out of the west and south and they're moving out very fast to say something and we're going in very fast to say something I don't like it who cares our son says the last part then he says their dead. It's true too we are hitting them for what they're doing and saying and they're insane by the way this idiots don't have to die for what's there doing which is evacuating but they do and that's what's going on very much a spoiled pieces of s***.

-that's a huge number of them that are complaining their leadership are jerks they said they really are. The idiots are staying here and indefinitely they said and her son and daughter say probably not and they don't get it because they're really stupid and that's what their people mean. Now you don't want them staying here the others don't either and eventually they will force them out right now Florida is getting down to the bottom 1% houses 0.5% trailer park and 0.5% bivouac and the clearing people out of the woods and such now. All over Florida there's people in the woods and they're pulling them out. Our son and daughter see if those numbers are real they're not going to last here very much longer. And what we say is they seem to be in a hurry. I know there's nothing here to make them run that fast cuz they're really moving it so you're saying stuff and we're going there and grabbing them and others are moving fast due to that and it's 1% should shrink to nothing pretty soon. Thier really not smart enough to know that they should move fast.

-and today they met earlier and it's important because of devices and things and they're moving out and we are too. But more things are going to happen today in Charlotte county in these idiots are ready for they're going to begin rounding them up and pulling them in literally they're going too loud and grab them and take care of them there aren't any coming to the rescue they don't have any troops nearby and they don't have any hardware so they don't have fear about pulling them out they also can take them out before they get here and yeah there's a ring around Florida and they want to get rid of Tommy f and his shifts and they're calling about it in an organized fashion and we are too to move them the hell out permanently and it's beginning now is a huge effort and they are saved saying those that are way you'll be killed and they mean it it's going to be a hell of a day. Today is the first day that these idiots should notice being pulled in. But who knows they know they don't notice much some of them are leaving now from Charlotte county we have about 10%-15% getting ready to leave and once they leave nobody replaces them but other groups and others will leave too because they don't tolerate them there's a huge number of people trying to get here no but they still try from other parts of Florida and the grabs and it's not that many but they are stopped on the road to evacuation continues and there's probably 2% of the population is warlock and tonight it'll probably be 0.2% with these idiots looking at each other laughing and smiling like morons.

-The Exodus to get here McDonald's are halfway done today there's going to be a huge influx in these idiots will be out of here stand has moved 75% of his people here now it's only about 15% because he has to hold areas and one of them is New England and it's still the same percentage and he will be overrun by morlock shortly unless the empire holds them out then he'll be overrun by empire. There's other areas like that and for the most part his people will be overrun and he doesn't want to move here with his forces because McDonald's are here and they'll just destroy them. He is trying to find Queen Elizabeth the first and it said she's been here so he's checking Lily on occasion and at times it is her he was amazed he couldn't believe it I said it was grossed out but knew they were doing it. Biden has to evacuate everywhere. Of course you can't do that but he's bringing people from areas that are like New England which they expect to have really big problems in and the south is one of those areas that will it's going to be destroyed practically emptied and a bunch from there oh California is emptying now, they are retreating and vacating the premises and leaving behind practically everything the factories of Meghan Markle are going to stay she says and the next gay group can take it over. And Mac is talking thinks he's going to take it over yeah we have to have a presence and it's got our kind of area it's kind of remote they're leaving today they said and they're going to Australia. A whole bunch of them are leaving and California has probably 3% of the warlock 1.5% are up and getting ready to leave. And the miscellaneous group are also being chased out of everywhere so they're coming here and to California area and in droves it's partly why and more like her leaving. And they are just placing the remaining warlock here everybody force a lot of times except expect them to be out of here pretty soon one way or the other and they don't think so that's what Garth says and he is a complete moron. He gets hit and shrinks every other day and it's very stupid and was stupid before. And these groups are headed here from all over the world and we're taking territory and we're going to maintain it open Pennsylvania and New England the empire defenses no. They don't appear to be blocking the morlock entering either and it might be because Mac is still there halfway and he's moving out he's getting the hell out of there those people are leaving he's got apartments on barges and they've been going up and down already about a million apartments no but there's a lot he put it about 5,000 and where do we get now mostly in Northern Florida. Yes. And they're taking over the university is up there and kicking the idiots out and using it as housing for now and Orlando too they're using all the hotels and they booted the idiots there's a few huge campgrounds and then taking those over and expanding though and they're almost at Maximum so they're moving apartments down and they're going to renovate these quickly probably while they're in them they're moving to do all this today and we are too we're getting our pads ready we have 300 pads just outside of Charlotte county and it's not within a ring no I guess it is and Mac has about 400 and we're going to keep them out of there there's also about 700 we start getting ready in fort Myers once the idiots move their hardware out the rest of them are evacuating and we're going to remove neighborhoods that's all swill and we'll probably start today everyone's giving these orders it's an emergency huge numbers of machines are coming down giant tractors and giant dozers and it also ordered to take out the small ships so there will be able to settling and we wont get flooded,

And as we said there going to push to get these flagships out very hard in order to get them out and it's a goal yes

There's a couple more things happening we're going to publish because they're messing with the computer again

Thor Freya

Olympus

It's a damn nuisance and these two are doing it we need them out

Hera

Im issuing fresh orders because they're still there

Thor Freya

[piko-power]

Sonic "was" afraid of calling Tom and Maddie his parents

You want a Sonic Movie angst headcanon?

No?

TOO BAD :D

Another moment from Sonic 2 I think about sometimes is the line: "You're supposed to be my friend. Stop trying to be my dad."

First of all, that line nearly broke my heart.

Second, it gave me a new headcanon to work on and OH MAN

Sonic have always looked up to Tom and Maddie because of how cool they are. Protecting the town and caring for animals, of course it's cool.

But after the events of the first movie, it's pretty clear that Tom and Maddie are more than that. They protected him. They gave him a room under their roof.

No. His roof.

They took him in despite everything. They gave him a new home. A new family. Tom and Maddie is his new family. The very people he looked up to since he was just a little hedgehog.

It was everything he could ever ask for. For years he has been protecting himself and his powers from anyone who wanted it for themselves. Yet it came with a price. Self isolation.

It was total hell to be alone for one whole DECADE. All he ever wanted was friends, or at least a family to care for him.

But now those days of hiding are over. He finally has what he's been dreaming of having. A family. Parents.

But

He has his worries get the best of him every now and then.

He always looked at Tom and Maddie as his friends. But he had struggled to call them his parents for as long as he can remember.

Deep down he had always looked at them as his mom and dad as well but he just couldn't have the heart to say it out loud. He should just say it! Why wouldn't he call them now?

There is a good reason.

Perhaps that said reason was from way before he went to Earth. Maybe a few days before he lost Longclaw.

He might've thanked her for taking him in and being there for him.

He might've called her "Mom."

Before the Echidna attacked and he was forced to leave his home planet, left to believe that Longclaw had died.

That his mother had died.

The moment he gave in to the idea of having a mother figure, or any kind of parental figure, to look out for him, it immediately blew away like ash.

He just wanted a family, a group of people to love and accept him for who he is. But no matter what happens, at least to his logic, the universe just love to play with him.

It was unfair for him that day.

No matter how much he dreamed of having a caring family, he knew it won't last.

He knew he'll wake up from that dream eventually.

Even so, he wanted every moment to involve Tom and Maddie from now on. They mean the world to him, he after everything they done for him, he refuse to lose them.

Little did he know, Tom and Maddie looked at Sonic as their own son.

Knowing what he has been through, what else they should do? Part ways? Absolutely not. They wanted to do something special for him, and adding him to the household was one of them. Even if they aren't experts as parents, they'll do what they can to make sure Sonic has a full happy life.

With them. His family.

Sonic will never stop looking at Tom and Maddie as his parents, no matter how much he wished he didn't.

But sometimes, there were moments where his lies spoke louder than the truth.

He also wanted to make a difference. To use his powers to save a city from danger. He thought he can be a hero. He thought he can do it all.

But his father thought otherwise.

Sonic is still just a kid, despite his dreams of becoming a real hero. Tom knew he had to tutor the young hedgehog, remind him that the moment will come one day.

Even if they have to have this talk over, and over, and over again.

Even if Sonic refuse to listen, it won't stop him from looking out for his child.

His child.

He still has some growing up to do, he can't just spend the rest of his childhood putting himself into dire situations! Plus, he kind of destroyed an entire city block.

He put people in danger and that is not what a hero does.

And what does Sonic have to say about that?

"You're supposed to be my friend. Stop trying to be my dad."

Sonic was tense. He couldn't see it. Barely. But Tom heard the words he fear of hearing.

Even so, that didn't stop him. He has to be there for Sonic, father or not.

And now, ever since that, a lot has happened.

Robotnik came back.

Sonic and his new friend travel across the hinterlands to find a magical gem.

Tom saved him from an avalanche.

G.U.N. took Sonic and Tails away.

Sonic blame himself and said that Tom was right about not being a hero before running off to danger once more.

A giant robot attacked Green Hills.

Sonic gets injured, yet he still goes after the emerald.

Tom and Maddie save him before he got squished.

They were trapped by a ring of fire.

And now. They knew what will happen next.

They're about to die and they were ready for it.

Sonic wanted them to run away. But they stayed.

They're a family.

They held his hands.

They stick together. No matter what.

After everything. After everything they went through together.

After what he said to Tom on the boat.

After what he had feared.

Sonic finally gave in.

His heart had finally accept it.

They really are his mom and dad.

He always known, but he made it official. Even if he couldn't say it.

He wished he would've said it in the first place but none of that mattered any more.

He got what he always wanted.

His wish came true.

His life is complete.

And now he needs to exit that life. Along with his parents. To live with. Forever.

"I love you, guys..."

"We love you, Sonic..."

...

And then the Chaos Emeralds rise up and fused.

The power of Chaos has been fused with the power of love.

The Chaos shall protect his family.

Super Sonic must protect his family.

EVERYTHING happened so fast that not even Sonic can catch up. But is he complaining? Of course not.

His home is safe now. His family is safe, and so are his newfound brothers.

What better way to celebrate the relief of safety than baseball and ice cream?

Sonic has grown throughout all of these adventures so quickly. But it was worth it just to finally be with his family again. He's not afraid anymore. He had accept it, and now he will say it. With his heart.

"I'm happy for you, pal. You got your wingmen! Perfect friends to grow up with."

He may have a super genius fox and an warrior Echidna but right in front of him is the one person who made him who he is today. He wouldn't be here without him. He wouldn't dare to be anywhere without him. He would be surrounded by mushrooms by now if he never went to Tom's garage.

He could've asked for a better friend. But now

No. The whole time. He's more than just a friend.

"I got a lot more than that... Dad."

[egg-emperor]

There are people who genuinely believe that sonic villains don’t kill people?

Ok if they mean outright, like attempting murder I can understand. But if they mean at all? I don’t think so

The amount of collateral damage that round bitch has done is enough to almost destroy the entire word, and even if everyone was somehow able to live though world altering events then it definitely hurt and damaged a lot of people. The amount of people who has had to go though hospitals ( and lord I know they would be packed as shit ) due to stuff ranging from minor to major injuries is enough to mentally scar an entire generation of people.

We’re not even going into how blowing up the fucking moon ( I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT- ) affects the wave tides and therefore the aquatic life. The amount of forest fires, air pollution of any kind, the possible ocean pollution, and the excessive use of energy is simply not good for the environment and can really, and I do mean really, fuck up the entire ecosystem witch could cause a chain reaction that would make everything harder for everyone.

And no, I’m not gonna get into how this affects the economy cuz that’s an entire own thing and I don’t wanna open that up.

Has eggman outwardly attempted to kill? Maybe, if you count sonic. But other then that? Not really. Has he fucked over many cities and traumatized an entire two, maybe three, generation of people? Hell fuckin yes.

I really think sonic should just kill him at this point tbh lmao

Well the outright attempting murder is actually the blatant stuff in the games that can't be denied at all in all this. Eggman's intent and desire for murder has very clearly been there. He doesn't just threaten to destroy, crush, burn to ashes, make mincemeat out of, close one's eyes forever, etc, or say that he'll make the place their tomb, that it's their funeral, etc. Even though all of that very obviously means the same thing anyway, as they all very obviously imply and would result in death.

But he also even blatantly threatens to kill and tells people to die while outright using the specific words "kill" and "die." Just a few examples that I've posted to put here again are with Sonic, Amy, and Tails but there's a lot more obvious stuff too. That's how genuinely violent and murderous he really is and he even says it'll be his pleasure.

And he's not the only Sonic villain that's blatantly tried to kill people on screen (and visibly succeeded at times) so a lot of villains including Eggman being attempted murderers in the very least can't be denied.

But also the collateral damage of many of the villains' plans, especially Eggman's as they've had a catastrophic destructive impact on a global scale multiple times, would absolutely result in deaths. The worldwide and global catastrophies and severe environmental damage would definitely kill many and traumatize those that survive and result in horrible living conditions, which is also just as bad anyway whether people die or not but they definitely would too. So the fact that it's undermined and downplayed so hard either way is really wild.

He realistically has to have a body count of thousands or millions, even when it's just collateral and he's just totally apathetic towards it. Though he's also actually genuinely intended to wipe innocent people out on a large scale too, such as when he tried to blow up Station Square. And then of course he's directly attempting to murder of Sonic and co all the time, even the youngest children, which is also seriously fucked up and isn't any less just because he didn't succeed in those cases. They would've just been a few more numbers to his name.

Plus, even in Lost World, Eggman just carelessly and casually acknowledges that his plan to commit genocide on the Zeti (which is also another example of blatant intent to directly kill in itself) would also have collateral damage that would result in killing everything else around them too. And there's absolutely no way that it would be the only time that any of his actions ever would've resulted in such if he had gone through with it, after all the other mass destruction he has actually carried out on a global scale so many times lol

It really just seems to be a age rating thing in the sense that they can't outright state in words that they've actually succeeded in killing/that people are dead as a result from all that chaotic destruction, in the same way they can at least blatantly show it and the intentions and attempting of it. But that shouldn't automatically mean that none of the villains have ever actually killed anyone if it's not stated outright, it doesn't mean it's a story choice for the character just because of ratings. And realistically, there's no way it would make any sense at all for nobody to ever die.

[localcactushugger]

Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.

Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.

I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.

It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:

During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:

The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):

After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.

But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:

Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:

He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.

So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):

After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:

After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.

Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."

If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.

Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.

Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)

And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.

Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.

And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.

I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.

(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)

Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)

All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)

needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.

This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is

My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.

AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??

Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???

LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD

[b0rista]

— 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.

WARNINGS: light angst & swearing.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: he's one of my ultimate favorite snk characters, and i needed to cleanse my page of the heavy ass warrior content djjfjf.

"you're either a blessing, or you're a lesson. either or, you and i met for a reason."

with all of the gore and the misfortune that comes with your livelihood, it's connie that gets you through it.

as expected, you first fell in love with him for his humor. not for the humor itself, but for how it shed the smallest flicker of joy upon a heaping tower of despair— as soldiers, you needed that. fortunately, he was the one that brought it to the table. even during your days as cadets, connie lived to make you laugh. hearing a chuckle flutter from your core served as a form of therapy for him, and with time, he grew addicted.

with that being said, he does the stupidest shit in order to get your attention. even when you're together, he'll do what needs to be done. for example, one time, he tried to impress you by doing a trick while saddled up on his horse. in an attempt to twirl like a jackass ballerina, the horse decided that it deserved better, and kicked him clean off its back. at the sight of his 5'2 ass being hoisted eight feet into the air, you nearly choked.

prepare yourself, he's a cuddler. after a particularly hard day's worth of work, connie finds solace in bedding up with you, knowing that you're safe, and with him. he asks that you don't tell anybody, but he actually really enjoys cuddling as the little spoon. to have his head pressed against your chest, his ear to your heartbeat, brings him comfort. of course, he'll never detest to being your big spoon, either. he absolutely loves the feeling of you buried within his touch.

^ if you ever want to go an evening without cuddling, he'll be immediately offended. never, ever, ever will the two of you fall asleep back to back. he simply won't have it, it makes him feel as if something's wrong. and if that is the case, nobody's falling asleep until you've talked about it and successfully sorted it out.

at the beginning of your guys' relationship, everyone worried for you. did he coerce you, y/n? are you being forced? has he threatened you, has he threatened your family? nobody could grasp the fact that connie motherfuckin' springer had managed to pull you.

if there's any sort of sour talk regarding you, no matter how little it is, this man will leap to your defense. one time, jean called your bedhead ugly, and connie propelled a moldy roll of bread into his forehead. in the end, a massive food fight erupted, and you were just standing there with your bedhead like 🧍‍♀️

HOWEVER, there was an instance that actually led to a genuine, real fight between you two as a couple. you'd managed to scuff up your leg during the battle with kenny the ripper and his associates, and when it came down to who was and who wasn't going to tag along for the eren & historia rescue mission, connie belittled you to the team behind your back. not because he actually felt that way, but because he'd do anything to maintain your safety— even if it meant hurting your feelings. telling captain levi that your abilities were inadequate for that particular mission hurt him, but he did what he felt was necessary.

in the end, though, levi saw through the charade. to connie's dismay, you came with to save eren and historia. and during the entire journey, you didn't even utter a word to him. of course, though, during the battle, you put your frustrations aside. once you saw your lover's head nearly get kicked in during combat, you understood his intentions, and you forgave him. as expected, he replied to your forgiveness with humor,, his go-to coping mechanism.

"considering how sexy i looked on the battlefield, i knew you wouldn't be able to resist."

whenever his hair starts to grow out, you're the one that gets to cut it back down! he's able to do it himself, but he really likes it when you do it. you're typically propped up in his lap, sitting face to face as you file down his edges. he always loops his arms around your waist, intently staring you in the face— seeing you so concentrated on his hair, he can't help it.

you wouldn't expect this from connie whatsoever, but he likes it when you read to him. pick a literature of your choice and let him kick back and rest his head onto your lap, pleasE. he'll close his eyes, and for the first time in forever, stay still. the only time he and books ever coexist is when you're reading one to him. he'll also make fun of you whenever you stumble over a sentence,, so get ready.

the day you realize that this motherfucker is nearing six feet tall, you're ready for the holy spirit to whisk you away. literally, you measure his height on the weekly once you realize he just keeps gaining inches. that, and when he starts growing more into his face? lawd, take you now.

"connie, you're getting seXY-"

"what the hell does thaT mE A N-"

many, many proposals. none are meant to be taken seriously, which the both of you know. still, there are far too many proposals between the two of you. one time, you killed a fly midair, and he thought you were the baddest bitch on the block.

"marry me."

another time, he swooped you into the air with his maneuvering gear, and as you held onto him for dear life, you looked him dead in the face: "marry me, you baldheaded bastard."

it can be a reel, how many times the two of you say that bullshit. somehow, it's cute.

he doesn't really take basic boundaries into consideration. like, one time, you caught him using your toothbrush because he couldn't find his. it wasn't fun, you had to give him a serious talking to.

he is, without a doubt, constantly prepared to lay down his life for you on the battlefield. during his time as a soldier, he's grown significantly strong— and once he fell in love with you, he's felt even stronger. not only do you give him drive, but you lend him strength. with that being said, you're somebody he'd die for without even an ounce of hesitation. and knowing him, he's probably made that more than obvious.

when connie's village was destroyed and it was discovered that his entire family was turned into titans, you were one of the only ones to actually comfort him. you were absolutely enraged at how nonchalantly your lover's loss was set aside, and although he'd tried his hardest to conquer the grief alone, it was you who sat at his bedside at night, cradling him in your arms as he wept. never in your life had you seen him so distraught. after that period of time, your relationship with him only deepened in its seriousness. 

as expected, you and sasha spend quite a bit of time together! after all, that's your boyfriend's best friend. given her easygoing nature, it didn't take long for sasha to absolutely adore you. naturally, she wonders how the hell you manage to operate with a boyfriend like that, but she tries not to ask questions.

speaking of the wonder twins, they love getting you in trouble. whenever the two of them think up an astonishingly moronic shenanigan, there's a solid 50/50 chance that you'll be looped into it, too. one time, they purposefully dulled jean's razor, and when he went to shave, it only ended in him splitting his face open due to placing too much pressure. as a joke, those two jackasses carved your initials into the handle. when jean decided that he'd murder you, connie tried playing the hero, lEapiNg to your defense. it was stupid, and it didn't work. you still laugh about it, though.

there have been several jokes regarding starting a family and growing old together— secretly, though, connie doesn't want them to just be jokes.

he stole a stray cat for you. yup, yes he did. the two of you were walking about the city, and you saw a gray-haired sleeping beside a trash bin behind a local vendor. you compared its fur to the color of his hair, calling it cute. out of impulse, connie went back to that exact same vendor later on that day, trapped the cat in a box, and brought it to your doorstep.

his forearms and fingertips were covered in claw marks, but to see your face light up the way that it did, any amount of pain was immediately worth it.

after the nickname that shadis had given connie on the first day of cadet training, you named the kitty q-ball. 🥺

during the season four era, the two of you share a house. at first, captain levi argued against it— "put a pair of horny teenagers in a home together, what do you think is gonna happen?"

y'all said fuck it, and lived together anyways. it's you, him, and your lovely child, q-ball. occasionally jean, too. some nights, he doesn't want to be alone.

eskimo kisses. during the prepping of every single mission, you'll get eskimo kisses. it's a small, loving gesture the two of you do before heading into the battlefield. as a sign of your love, you'll press your foreheads together and rub noses, weapons holstered and ready for combat. it's a serious tradition, and it'll never be ignored.

and after a mission, connie has this habit of pinching your cheeks immediately after rushing towards you. it isn't to be cute, either. it's so that he can scan you, and check you for any harm. basically, it's him squeezing the life out of your face while bombarding you with questions.

expect supremely cheesy pet names! bae, biscuit, buttercup, baby thing, sexy bitch, and so on. if it were anyone else, he would 100% make fun of them. but it's him, therefore adorable.