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fullmarvelheart · 4 years

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Wrong Direction (Song Fic AU)

Pairing: Steve x fem!Reader(previously), Steve x Sharon, Bucky x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,953

Warnings: ANGST!(not kidding ‘bout this one!), heartbreak, mentions of cheating, mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation, Steve is an ass, swearing, lil fluff at the end

A/N: This is a song fic based off Hailee Steinfeld’s song Wrong Direction. Honestly, it took me awhile to figure out how I wanted to write this and with who. But when I started writing, without picking anyone, Steve somehow came to mind and it fit perfectly in my head. There might be a part two of this, I’m not sure. But if I write one, it’ll be a stand alone (sorta) one shot. I hope you enjoy and know if you ever find yourself with someone like this, you are worth so much more!💕♥️

Main Masterlist

I don't hate you No, I couldn't if I wanted to I just hate all the hurt that you put me through And that I blame myself for letting you Did you know I already knew?

Locked away in the bedroom of your apartment, you wished you could erase the image in your head. The memory of what you saw made you feel like you were going to throw up. But instead of running to the bathroom, you laid on your bed, curled into a ball with tears streaming down your cheeks, not willing to move. At. All.

But what hurt worse than what he did, what your Steve did, was that you didn’t hate him. You still loved him with all your heart, with all your soul. And you hated that!

Couldn't even see you through the smoke Lookin' back, I probably should have known But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleepin' alone

All the excuses about mission reports, working late, or mission planning that kept him away from you really should have given it away. Natasha had even come up to you to voice her concerns weeks ago. But he wouldn’t do that to you. Not your Steve that loved you, or so he said. So you believed.

It was only a matter of time, really. He still brought that stupid compass around with him everywhere. And even though his first love passed on years ago, he just couldn’t let go. No matter how much you wished, begged, that he could.

No one could compete with Peggy. Well, no one but her it seemed.

Love me with your worst intentions Didn't even stop to question Every time you burned me down Don't know how, for a moment it felt like heaven Love me with your worst intentions Painted us a happy ending Every time you burned me down Don't know how, for a moment it felt like heaven

You knew going into this relationship that part of him still loved Peggy Carter, but you had hoped he would grow to love you more. After the first date, you knew, you knew you couldn’t get rid of Carter, that her memory would be a constant with him. He talked about her during your date, not that much, but enough to remind you that you’re not her.

But you ignored it.

In the beginning of your new relationship, she was mentioned every now and then. Sometimes he’d point out similarities between you two. As time progressed, his memories morphed into criticism that was like a shot to the heart each time.

“Peggy would have never let someone talk to her like that.”

“Peggy’s red lipstick color looked better than the one you put on.”

“Could you, at least, try to act professionally. Peggy would have never acted like this on a mission.”

He’d never say those around others, not intentionally. There were a few slip ups that he somehow turned back on you.

But regardless, you still loved him. You wanted to be someone strong, someone dependable for him, someone like Peggy. Though, it never seemed like enough.

When things started getting too far downhill, he’d remind you that he loved you. He’d talk about a future with you. But you realized that that future was never meant for you. He’d never be able to picture you in it.

And it's so gut-wrenchin' Fallin' in the wrong direction

And it hurt. So, so much. It hurt. You should have recognized the signs. You should have never went on a second date. But it was too late. You fell for someone who didn’t love you back and who let you fall. Someone who let you fall without even trying to catch you.

On my tip-toes But I still couldn't reach your ego Guess I was crazy to give you my body, my mind Don't know what I was thinkin' 'til now Everyone thinks that your somebody else You even convinced yourself

You tired to be supportive of him, be the woman he needed by his side, be the partner he never had, but there was never room in the spotlight for you. The people didn’t care that you were also an Avenger whenever Captain fucking America walked in. Always preaching about how he fought the bullies of the universe to protect those who couldn’t, making women swoon and children see him as a hero. When did he stop practicing what he preached?

Looking back on all the things you’d done with him, all the ways you opened up and became vulnerable to him, you knew why you gave in. Why you ignored the red flags. Because, like everyone else, you had this perfect image of Steve in your mind. The wall of muscle, who was incredibly sweet and adorably shy, could never become the type of person he hated. The disrespectful and rude people who truly didn’t give others a chance at being happy with themselves. Funny how he even believed that himself. He always said he looks out for the little guys. He didn’t see the hypocrisy or how he made you feel scared for even pointing it out to him.

Couldn't even see you through the smoke Lookin' back, I probably should have known But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleepin' alone

The longer your relationship progressed, the less you would see of him. You’d sometimes catch him in the hallway or kitchen, and he’d talk to you like nothing had changed. You’d go days without seeing him. Instead of your boyfriend, his best friend would spend time with you in order to help cheer you up, though nothing sexual or anything like that ever happened. Of course, you wouldn’t cheat on Steve, couldn’t even think of it. It was merely a friendship that grew the longer you two interacted that always made you smile. It didn’t always work, though. Some days when he’d manage to come back to your place, at all times of the night, he’d often see you sitting next to Bucky on the couch laughing at some romcom, or Disney movie, and then accuse you of sleeping with his best friend. The arguments always ended with Steve storming off and you breaking down while your new best friend tried to calm you.

Bucky would ask if you were okay, you’d lie saying you’re fine, you’re sure he’s just busy, that he has something else he needs to take care of.

Bucky had never said anything about Sharon. Did he know? Did he know and not tell you?

Honestly, you wouldn’t even be surprised if everyone at the Tower knew. You’d turned a blind eye to it all, hoping to save yourself from the hurt. Didn’t work so well in the end.

But now, now you can’t recall why you put up with everything. Why you hadn’t ended things earlier. The neglect from your own partner had become a typical thing, the harsh comments, or things he’d pick apart about you or what you did or wore, you considered normal. So why would you stay with him? Why didn’t you see what he was doing to you? Why didn’t you leave?

And it's so gut-wrenchin' (ooh, ooh) Fallin' in the wrong direction (ooh, ooh)

And with those thoughts, you realized he just hadn’t broken your heart, shattered it into a million pieces. No, he had damaged your soul too. He made you dependent on him, on his approval.

How did you sweep me right off my feet? Baby, I can't keep falling in the wrong direction How did you sweep me right off my feet? Right off my feet

You can’t place what made you agree to a second date, or a third, where things started to shift out of your control. How could you be so naïve to even agree to the first date when you knew he was still in love with Peggy Fucking Carter?

Well, you couldn’t, you wouldn’t do this anymore. You wouldn’t ignore the image of Steve fucking Sharon in the bathroom of the party you’d come from not long ago. They hadn’t even noticed you, how cruel is that? You wouldn’t let him break you apart any longer. You needed to do what you should have done a long time ago.

Couldn't even see you through the smoke Lookin' back, I probably should have known But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleepin' alone

You were so lost in you head, that you didn’t hear the knock at your door, the sound of it opening and closing, or even when the person walked into your room and kneeled in front of you.

“Doll? What happened?” It was the soft timber of Bucky’s voice that brought you back to the present. His fingers gently brushed the hair out of your face before he wiped the tears from your cheeks.

“Did you know?” You croak, voice breaking. When he only looks at you in concerned confusion, your eyes squeeze together as you force yourself to say it out loud for the first time. “Did you know Steve was cheating with Sharon?”

His eye brows jump to his forehead before they furrow in anger.

“No, I didn’t.” He growls. “But I’m guessing that’s the reason for why you left so suddenly or why I couldn’t find him to ask where you went.”

When you nod, he sighs, pinching between his eyebrows as his metal arm curls into a fist.

“I’m going to kill him. Only after I take care of you.” He states before falling silent. “Y/n, I know I’ve brought this up several times, but-”

“I’m leaving him.” You interrupt, watching as his lip curls into a soft but happy smile. And you know he’s happy because you’ll finally be able to start healing. He’s been waiting for you to realize this on your own. And you’re grateful for that, and for him.

Love me with your worst intentions Didn't even stop to question (oh, no) Every time you burned me down Don't know how, for a moment it felt like heaven Love me with your worst intentions Painted us a happy ending (ooh) Every time you burned me down (me down) Don't know how, for a moment, it felt like heaven

After helping you out of bed and brushing your hair while you cleaned off the ruined makeup caked to your face, Bucky hands you your favorite pair of pjs that haven’t been worn in a while because Steve didn’t like them. You glance at him self consciously, only for him to reassure you with a bright smile. With one last nervous look, you turn back towards the bathroom. When the fabric rests against your skin, a wave of comfort washes over you and you curl your arms around yourself. It’s not much, but it’s a start to finding yourself again.

When you exit the bathroom, you find Bucky perched on the couch with your favorite snacks and favorite movie queued up. You snag the blanket from on top of your bed then curl up into Bucky on the couch.

“Can you help me change my locks after I break up with him?” You ask softly.

“Course, doll. Whatever you need help with, I’m here.” You tear up at the sincerity of his voice, the care, the concern.

“Thank you.” You whisper as the movie begins to play.

“Always.” His arm curls you into his side more and he refuses to let go.

And it's so gut-wrenchin' Fallin' in the wrong direction

#bucky banres #bucky x reader #bucky x Female Reader #Steve Rogers #steve x reader #steve x sharon #steve x y/n #marvel #My writing #writers on tumblr #song fic

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 3 years

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Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 206

206

Keith did not enjoy seeing Lotor again. He didn’t think it possible that the amount of annoyance he felt for the man was actual, until he saw his face again. Hair pulled back. Ridiculous purple and blue suit. Ridiculous blue leather shoes. One look at him and he wanted to kill Lotor. He wanted to kill him, but for a bastard, he was a nimble bastard.

Laying on the floor of the training room, Keith’s chest heaved as he fought to catch his breath. They were “playing” tag. Coran recording each session to monitor Keith’s growth. So far the only thing that had grown with these stupid session was Keith’s bank account. He couldn’t catch Lotor, and he couldn’t turn into a damn werewolf. He could catch up to Lotor, then as if by magic, Lotor would be out of his grasp again. Surely if Keith was meant to learning how to live, move, and think, like a werewolf, a werewolf teacher would have been better? Matt had been in a huff over someone else teaching him, but he didn’t have time between being head over heels for Rieva and working at Hunk’s dad’s garage. Rieva had the time, but didn’t have the right words. She’d tried to talk him through grasping his ego and letting the shift happen. It hadn’t happened.

“Get up. Let’s go again”

Rolling his eyes at Lotor, Lotor could go again. He could go and keep going. Keith might even drag himself up off the floor to get the door for Lotor on the way out

“Fuck off. You stick and you make a lousy partner”

Lance smelled like “good death”. Lotor smelt like fish left in the sun to rot in a plastic bag, then someone had come along and poked a hole in it

“The little werewolf all out of bark. Maybe I’ll take it on myself to show Lance how nice it is to be around a fellow vampire rather than a flea riddled mongrel”

Snarling at Lotor, Keith wished he didn’t bite every time Lotor baited him. The vampire had asked how Lance was, Keith had told promised him that he’d kill him if ever did again. Forcing himself up, the werewolf reminded himself that this was all for Lance and buying Lance the engagement ring of his dreams. The physical exercise bit felt good, his body felt good for now active he’d been, yet Lotor couldn’t let him have that... Noooo. He was “too slow”. He couldn’t go any faster than the limits he’d been hitting. He gladly would if he could. Lotor’s throat would feel so nice between his teeth. He, and his ego, hated Lotor with so much passion that Keith truly expected his inner wolf to break free.

“It’s obvious to anyone who looks at you that you’re nothing more than a rotting sack of meat and bones. We should have killed you when we had the chance”

Lotor laughed, Keith not amused as he’d been deathly serious. His nails long, teeth extended, and he knew he was pulling his “scary face”

“You wound me, Keith. Do you really hate me, or are you simply jealous that I could snatch your life away before you even blinked”

“A piece of shit like you who values nothing could never understand”

“Says the turned runt who can’t lay a finger on me. I must say, you are lacking in every single point in your personality. You must be a hell of a fuck, for I no other reason for Lance to keep his pet dog around”

Lotor could rile him up, but the moment he mentioned Lance, he crossed the damn line. Snarling, he locked his gaze on Lotor, chest heaving as rage threatened to boil his blood

“I’m going kill you. I’m going to sink my teeth into your throat and enjoy the blood running down my throat”

“You have to catch me first”

Lance scrubbed his face tiredly as he watched Keith and Lotor on the camera feed. The pair were as bad as each other, and reminded him painfully of his training with Lotor. Lotor was an expert at exploiting a persons weakness

“Have they been like this for the whole week?”

“Indeed they have, my boy. Lotor refuses to rein his ego in, constantly provoking Keith until he loses his cool”

“Keith’s gotta learn how to control himself, I’m getting tired of him coming home in a bad mood”

Keith didn’t know Lance had come to pick him up. The vampire escaping Rieva’s wrath and fussing. Feeling like doing some yoga and light stretching, she’d scared the crap out of him by yelling “boo!”. As a result he’d bitten through his tongue and smacked his face on the coffee table as he lost his balance. The whole reason he’d been practicing so close to the coffee table was so if he lost his balance he had something to grab for. Spending half an hour patching him back, she’d shifted into talking about his birthing plans and lectured him for sleeping too much during the day. He didn’t have birthing plans. He left that for Coran. If he went into labour, he went into labour. Keith would take him to VOLTRON, where Coran would perform the Caesarian. He loved Rieva, but he’d also loved stretching in near privacy because his body felt so stiff from sleeping all sorts of odd hours, not that he could help it. Now he’d not only been interrupted, and felt highly embarrassed being sprung in yoga pants and an ill fitting shirt, but was slightly slurring as his tongue was taking forever to heal its damn self, almost like his stupid arm that’d taken a whole stupid week to fix itself.

“Shall I have a word with Lotor? I’m quite sure he’d stop antagonising Keith if I were to ask”

Allura had the vampire shaking his head

“Nah. This is something they have to work out. Keith’s holding back too much. I can see him thinking. He’s thinking he wants blood, but the good part of him is conflicted about going too far and potentially hurting Lotor”

Crossing her arms, Allura wore a heavy frown that didn’t suit her beautiful face

“I’m more worried about Lotor hurting him. I understand he needs to provoke Keith, yet he is quite disrespectful”

“Keith has to learn how to cope with it. It’s no good if he goes up against a group of vampires and finds himself overwhelmed. I don’t like it, and I’m not fond of Lotor’s methods, but this is for Keith’s sake. I wish I could go down there and tell him to give it his all”

Coran and Allura knew he’d snuck out, Allura giggling as she covered her mouth

“Afraid you’ll be in trouble for running away?”

“Hey, I know I’m going to be in trouble. Keith’s very protective of me and if he knew Rieva upset me, he’d probably try to throw her out the house”

He’d left in tears. Well, he’d held his tears in until he was squashed into his car, then burst into tears over not having a birthing plan

“That’s no good. If he’s not getting along with them, that makes for a stressful situation”

If they talked to Lotor and gave Keith a win, he’d be devastated by the fakeness. Lance naturally wanted Keith to win, but he believed his fiancé and knew Keith would work his arse off harder after each defeat...

“That’s not the problem. He’s cranky over Lotor beating him day after day. We both get on with Matt and Rieva, even if Matt keeps pushing Keith’s buttons. Rieva had to stop them from murdering each other last night. Matt cheated on the game they were playing together and nearly got the controller embedded in his head for it”

Allura’s giggle turned into a proper laugh. She could laugh it up as she hadn’t been there

“Trust me, it’s not that funny. Matt tackled him on the sofa and I swear they nearly broke it. Rieva put Matt in a time out and Keith refused to talk about it when we went to bed”

Coran wiped an imaginary tear from his right eye, gushing as he did

“I think it’s lovely that you young folk get along so well. Perhaps I should give Keith the day off? I don’t want to upset him so much that he doesn’t return to active duty. He’s grown so much. Oh, he’ll make such a wonderful father to the twins...”

Great. His family were weirdos. He didn’t need Coran gushing over Keith, his ego was happy enough to do that about their mate as it was... Keith was strong and brave, that knowledge was what kept him from marching down there and going Lotor for the hurtful things he was saying

“Coran, that has nothing to do with what’s happening now. Isn’t there any way you can get Keith to shift that’s actually helpful? Rieva tried to help and he had no luck there”

“No. I can manipulate his quintessence, but I would prefer not to. Keith needs to focus on finding those feelings that’ll trigger that change in him for himself. How has been after his second moon?”

Lance wasn’t sure there was much of a difference after the second moon seeing Keith had made such a big stride in learning he could be himself around Lance. His fiancé never violent or threatening towards him, just frustrated and cranky to Matt and Rieva... Mostly Matt, and mostly deserved at the time. Matt and Rieva understood it was ego related, and weren’t actually able to help Keith calm it back down

“You’ve seen him more than I have. He’s here from 9am to 4pm every day. All we’ve got time for when he gets home is dinner, snuggles on the sofa, then bed early because he’s worn out. The first thing he does when he gets home is take a shower. He thinks it helps lessens Lotor’s scent, but it doesn’t do much when the scents on his clothes and I’m the one who puts the washing on. I made the mistake of mentioning I could smell Lotor and it really upset his ego”

Coran hummed. Lance mentally agreed. Humming summed things up perfect, as if these sessions didn’t start improving, they’d have to look at other options. Lance knew if Keith could just land that one hit, his confidence would skyrocket and he’d start believing in himself again.

Giving Keith another half an hour, Lance couldn’t let the pair of them go on any longer. Keith kept lashing out, and Lotor’s laughing had gotten on his nerves. Sometimes a vampire had to take matters into his own hands. Pushing his chair, back Lance bit down a groan a he pushed himself up. Coran shifted back, the fae raising an eyebrow at his actions

“Lance?”

“I’m going to go talk with Keith”

“My boy, I hardly think now’s a good time. I think it best we wait until these two tire fire the day”

“That’s why now is the perfect time. I just remembered something that I think is going to help Keith and I want to see if I’m right”

“You should let me go in first...”

Coran worried too much

“Coran, it’ll be fine. If Lotor tries something, Keith will lose it. Lotor will know that the moment he sees me, and this can’t wait”

“Still, it’s better to be safe that sorry”

“I’ll be okay. This is something I have to tell Keith properly and alone. Just keep watching over them”

Waddling his pregnant arse down to the training room, Lance knocked before he opened the door. Lotor casually leaning on one of the training dummies across from Keith. Their egos ridiculously strong, but he wasn’t going to back down now that he’d cured his own stupidness over the situation. Snarling at him, Keith needed a few moments to register him before his body slumped

“Babe?”

“Sorry to interrupt, Keith, I need to borrow you for a moment”

His fiancé sounded frustrated as he muttered

“We’re pretty much fucking done here...”

“Don’t. Just come out here for a moment. Lotor, give us a few minutes then I’ll send Keith back in”

Following him out into the hall, Keith threw himself to lean against the wall as Lance shut the door behind him

“What are you doing here?”

“Escaping Rieva and her birthing plans”

“So I suppose you saw how badly I was doing?”

“It wasn’t that you were doing bad... Look, I’m an idiot. I didn’t think about it, then I remembered something important”

Keith seemed pretty disinterested in this “important something”, gesturing for him to continue

“Well, watching you two, it reminded me what it was like to fight Matt”

Rolling his eyes at him, Keith kept with the muttering

“Matt was a proper wolf, not like me”

“You are a proper wolf. But that’s the thing. You saw how hard it was at first for us to get along comfortably until we had that fight. It made me think about how I felt. Your ego doesn’t respect Lotor because he doesn’t respect you”

“Tell me something I don’t know”

“Well, it’s basically because you’re holding back. I didn’t hold back when I fought Matt, and he didn’t hold back either. You need to stop holding yourself back”

“Thanks, Sherlock. No fucking shit”

Nope. Keith was not going to get under his skin

“When you go back in there, you have to stop seeing Lotor as a person. He’s not. Matt tore me to shreds, but I healed right up. Remember? I know it scared the shit out of you to see what it was like, and I think that’s part of what’s holding you back. You’re scared you’re going to hurt Lotor, even if it’s subconsciously, the thought is still there. You’re thinking too much like a human. Think of him as your pray. The hunter become the hunted. You are nine-hundred-and-fifty-zillion times the man he’ll ever be. You have the skills. You have the training. I know you’re scared of yourself because I have moments when I’m scared of myself”

Keith threw his hands up

“I’m not like you, babe. I don’t know how to cope with this. I’m sorry, but turning me into a wolf was wasted on me. I’m useless”

Lance snapped hard

“Keith Kogane, you are not useless. You’ve had two fucking moons and you’ve already settled into living with a vampire for a lover. God. I want to shake you right now. I felt how badly your egos were clashing in there. You were an absolute fucking bad arse hunter before you turned. You need to have faith in yourself”

“Yeah, and what if I can’t fucking turn back from being a wolf?!”

“You will because I know you will. Matt and I worked things out because our egos accepted each other as pretty much being mutual bad arses. Lotor, is Lotor. Everything he’s riling you up with is shit. You are my fucking mate, and I love you. When you go back in there, remember that you’re top dog. The only vampire who’ll ever now down to you is me. The only way to get Lotor to respect you is to make him bleed. It’s not pleasant but that’s how our stupid egos work. You can do this. You can do this because I know for a fact you can”

“And what if I take it too far?”

“Coran will stop things before that happens. Babe, we can’t help or protect people from the bad things if you can’t get out of your own head. You’re amazing. You’re amazing and I love you. Even if Lotor kicks your arse, we’ll watch it over and over and we’ll figure out where you need to make adjustments. Even if he makes me cry because you’re bleeding, I‘ll be there to patch you up. You’ve got this, and I’ve got you”

Shuffling over to him, Keith wrapped his arms around him

“You’re the amazing one. It’s nothing like how it was when you fought with him”

“That’s because I’m older than you. But you have a secret a weapon that he doesn’t. You have me on your side. Your very pregnant me”

“I feel like I’m back at the beginning again”

“Because you are. That’s not a bad thing. You haven’t picked up a lifetime of bad habits. Your stances are sloppy and your feet are too far apart. Raise your head and be confident. Then, once you’ve won, you can buy me dinner”

“I’m sorry I’m so weak”

“Aw, baby. No. You’re not weak. I was traumatised for a very long time after my turn. But when facing someone like Lotor, you can let that last little bit of fear fuck right off. You’re a werewolf. You’re my werewolf. Remember all that shit he used to go on about, about the “blood of kings”? What’s so good about it? When you fight, you’re fighting to protect families like ours. I’ve got your back”

“You always encourage me... I don’t deserve it”

“You’re always encouraging me too. You encourage me to go to bed. You encourage me to stop scrubbing at the grout in the kitchen...”

Keith snorted at him, the sniffled. His poor fiancé had shocking self esteem since his turn

“I don’t think you’re using that word right. And why do you have a lisp?”

“I bit my tongue. Rieva scared the crap out of me when I was doing my yoga in peace. I don’t know if that was better or worse than her insisting I need a birth plan”

“I thought the plan was that if you went into labour we came here?”

“I know right?! But nooo. Apparently wolves do it different? Anyway, I’m going to go back up there, and I’m going to be cheering you on”

“I don’t...”

“Nope. No. Nooo. No bad mouthing. That’s like insulting my ego and my choice in men. I refuse to be anything but proud of you”

“I’m proud of you too... but please don’t ever go that close to Lotor again. Not when we’re... training”

“For you, I won’t. Now go get him!”

Slipping back into the training room, Keith felt his ego flare at the feel of Lotor’s. Lotor was standing there checking his phone, giving Keith a sideways glance as if his presence was worthless. Lance had it all figured out. Turning into a wolf terrified him. He didn’t know if he’d be able to control himself, or how to move his body once he shifted. He didn’t know if he’d lose his mind and go Lotor with dire consequences he’d have to live with. Lance was also right. He couldn’t not draw on his wolf side if it meant protecting people. Him being cowardly could cost Curtis and Shiro their lives.

“Everything okay?”

The way Lotor asked with obvious curiosity instantly got under his skin. Taking a deep breath, Keith nodded. He had Lance on his side. His fiancé hadn’t cared about Lotor. He’d barely glanced his way when he’d opened the door to the training room, and that’d done wonders for Keith’s twinges of jealousy. Out of the two of them, Lance had chosen him all over again. He now got what Lance meant. There’d been a little respect between him and Matt, allowing them to fight as equals. He didn’t see Lotor as his equal so he’d been fighting on his back foot, half a step behind. Wounds would heal. This was training and not real life. He could afford to test his limits because neither he nor Lotor had to currently worry about the consequences of them going all out.

“Fine. Nothing for you to worry about”

And a lot less for him to worry about. Lance was watching over him. He’d stop him before he fucked up beyond repair. Lotor didn’t respect him... it pained Keith to admit he needed to show more respect towards the vampire and treat training much more seriously than he’d let himself previous

“Are you sure? Lance seemed positively ready to burst on the spot”

“What do you except? He’s heavily pregnant with our twins. Are we going to do this or are you too busy playing on your phone?”

Lotor sighed at him

“We’ve spent hours accomplishing nothing. Perhaps it’s time you tucked your tail between you legs and trotted back home? I doubt that wolf inside you is anything more than a yapping puppy”

Keith could feel his wolf... he could feel it and that was the whole problem. Him not being himself. He didn’t want to be that kind of person. He was too scared Lance would reject him for letting his wolf out. But Lance had soothed him, told him to go for it, he hadn’t been very talkative at home thanks to all of this weighing on his mind. He was working through his fears, but needed to grow sure of himself again. It felt like he had to rebuild himself bit by bit ever since he’d woken up. He’d never admit to Lance that he wanted to give up almost every single day, even with all the love and support poured on him.

“You want to see my wolf?”

“Isn’t that the whole reason we’ve been tasked with this ridiculous endeavour?”

“Remember you asked for it”

“I’ll remember that when I’m wiping the floor with this human form of yours”

Shuffling back into the monitoring room, Lance let out a sigh of deep relief to be off his feet the moment his butt hit the chair. He could totally go for a nap right now, but had to stay awake. He had to see what Keith could do, and if his words had helped in any way

“Everything okay, my sweet boy?”

“Just had to remind Keith of something. Did I miss anything?”

“Only Keith watching Lotor as he taunts him”

Coran sounded annoyed with Lotor. Lance was as annoyed, but egos were like that. The way the room had felt left him feeling grimy, egos so thick he could taste it on his tongue. Any longer in the space he would have fallen to his knees with his head bowed and in labour. His stomach cramping from the few moments of intense pressure, not that he’d let it show. Not that his ego would let it show. They were a vampire, and Lotor was no otherworldly demon.

Coming up behind him, Allura looped her arms around him

“How do you feel?”

Patting Allura’s arm, Lance rubbed his cheek against hers. He still hadn’t replied to Veronica. He really needed to reply to Veronica

“Good. Allura, I should probably warned you that I told Keith to stop holding himself back... He was thinking too much as a human and not enough as a werewolf”

Allura kissed his cheek. His ego didn’t want to be touched by anyone other than Keith, but he’d never turn Allura away. She knew is as she quickly drew back

“I’m not surprised. Keith has quite a soft heart. I do hope Lotor doesn’t hurt him”

“If Lotor doesn’t hurt him, then he didn’t listen to me. Watching them reminded me of when Matt and I fought to settle our egos. Neither of them want to acknowledge the other out of personal pride. And Keith’s scared of losing himself to his wolf. We should be in for something good... well, not that I want Keith hurt, but you know”

“We do love stubborn men, don’t we? Perhaps we should get some popcorn as we watch them make fools of themselves?”

“Allura, sister from another mister, I couldn’t agree more”

Coran sent himself for snacks, being pregnant had its perks as all he had to do was fake the idea of leaving VOLTRON to retrieve them and Coran was quick on his case about how he’d go while Lance rested. Lance felt a little bad, for a few moments, before he was beaming at the screen in front of him. Carefully Keith had watched Lotor. They’d circled each other, then Keith had torn his shirt off. Damn if his fiancé wasn’t the hottest man on Earth, Allura copping a snarl at her low “oh my”. Rolling his neck, there was bloodlust in Keith’s eyes. His claws extending further, initialling resisting before shifting before their eyes.

Lotor packed himself. Well, Lance liked to think he did as Keith’s huge wolf form lunged for him. God knew Lance swooned on the spot. The power and speed well and truly befitting the man he loved and prided himself on being the mate of

“He’s certainly larger than I believed”

“You should see him in real life. He’s so fluffy and soft...”

“Coran had said he acted rather tame”

“Mhmm. Unless I’m threatened... Those jaws of his are no joke. My arm’s only just regained full function, which was a pain in the arse to hide from him”

“He bit you?”

“Only a little. Pidge was watching movies with me and he got startled by her”

“Shouldn’t you have healed?”

Ugh. Tell him about. Memory loss. Napping all day. His arm and his tongue... his hips... He had the utmost respect for pregnant people who were able to work through everything right until the end of the their pregnancy

“I can only guess everything I’ve got is going to the twins”

“Lance, you can’t be so careless with your body. We would all be devastated should something happen to you”

“I’m fine, Allura. I’ll be fine. It’s only a little longer and they’ll be here”

“Perhaps you should come stay here until you give birth? You could share my space... and we could have movie nights whenever you wished. Do each other’s hair. Paint our nails”

That sounded so damn tempting

“Thanks for the offer, but honestly, being home feels best. And Keith needs the space”

“I just don’t want you to feel like you’re alone...”

“I’m not. Besides, I know I always have you and Coran right here”

“Don’t you ever forget that. You’re like a brother to me...”

“And you’re like a sister to me. I can put up with some discomfort for a little while longer. It’s all going to be worth it when we finally get to meet them”

“I hope you know Allura is a fine name”

Lance chuckled

“I do. I’m sorry to tell you, but out of fairness to all our friends, we’re not going with your names. I love each and every one of you, and could never replace any of you. No. I have one name in mind, but we’ll wait and see”

“Alfor’s also a good name. So is Alfie...”

“And one day, when you have a child of your own, what are you going to do when I’ve stolen your name?”

Allura sighed

“I must admit, I hadn’t thought of that”

“You’ll be a great mum. But even if you don’t have kids, you’ll be a great aunty to the twins...”

“Oh, I’m going to spoil them rotten. We’re all so happy for you and Keith”

“I know... and speaking of Keith, I think he’s got Lotor on the run”

Pulling a well used trick, Lotor had scaled the wall and was now frowning down on Keith who was patiently watching his every move. Lance didn’t know if Keith would remember shifting, but he sure as heck was going to brag about it when they got home. His fiancé was best boy. He just needed to believe in himself the way Lance did.

#once bitten twice stupid #oncebittentwicestupid #ashratherose

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diegolabhont · 4 years

Text

I didn't mean to fall in love with you

Chapter One

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing: Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC (Beck Hughes)

Genre: None (in this post, al least)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really.

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can someone explain to her how a person who claims to be so disinterested in the ranking was magically climbing to the top twenty?

Poppy didn’t buy it for a second, she always knew Beck were going to be a pain in her ass ever since the first time she saw them looking at her as if they weren’t impressed, but she wasn’t fully aware of how much.

“You don’t have to worry about them, Poppy” Chloe said while the strawberry blonde retouch her make up in the mirror inside her own room. “Beck is just a dude”

“Transphobia much, Chloe?” Veronica murmured playfully, wanting to start drama among her streaming fans.

“No! What I'm saying is… Beck's brain works as a regular dude, right? How much smart can they be?”

“Ha! That´s rich coming from you” Veronica laughed.

Both girls started a discussion about related shit, Beck’s brain, hormones and else while Poppy put on the mascara. Completely silent, thinking.

She treated Beck as a common enemy, she attacked them just like she would to any other lost lamb trying to be the wolf but it was not enough. Even one of those plans exploded in her own face: ruining and breaking Beck's guitar caused that they not only get a flashy and beautiful new one, but sang side by side with the one and only Jaylen Riaz, making a huge performance. Even better than hers, which was something painful and humiliating at the same time, especially after Veronica told her Beck’s YouTube channel had a followers increase, making them even more popular.

Chloe was right on something: Beck’s brain worked like a dude, and if she had learned something was that men in general were manipulable. Take a look at Michael, he was dumb as hell. Liam was a douchebag. Luis, Ford… well, they… they´re there. The only golden boy among them was Carter, and yet, he wasn´t that hard, she just gave him what he wanted in that party and after that, everything ran smoothly.

And that´s what she needed.

Poppy´s look changed, her eyes sparkled in a very malicious way and a smile crossed her face for a split second. She now had a plan, and unexpectedly, it was a Chloe attribution.

“Maybe if we accused them of cheating…?” Chloe suggested, but Poppy knew better.

“That won´t be necessary, Chlo” Poppy intervened for the first time in a while, making both girls look at her intrigued. They knew Poppy, and the little smile she had on her lips as she applied lipstick was a proof. The blonde was onto something juicy. Veronica ended the live and awaited. “Beck will be mine.”

~~X~~

It was kinda lame to her, but finding Beck completely alone under the football stands playing guitar was at least convenient. They were an eye candy from the start, that was a fact. The way that white t-shirt embraced their body was something else to see, her mind went back to the second time she saw them. The sassy rock star kind of look Beck had, even the haircut was perfect, Poppy knew that was a Zoey Wade signature and she kinda thanked her for it. Beck was damn fine, that fact made easier her plan to be honest.

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Beck stopped playing, literally frozen in place as a statue.

“What did you just say?” Their tone of voice was cold, almost insulted. Did she just get it wrong? No, she´s never wrong. A Queen can´t be wrong, especially a Min-Sinclair queen.

“It was a compliment, Farmsville” she said, rolling her eyes.

“That´s not a compliment” Beck chuckled, putting the guitar aside. “I mean, I don´t mind, but if you are going to use that to the trans community… It~ may not end well” Poppy frowned, a little pissed off. She was doing an effort, no-one had ever heard a compliment from her and this little sh… “But thanks.” Beck offered her a sweet smile a second before turn it into a mocking one. “You do pass pretty well as a woman, too”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“And now she gets it!” They started laughing, making her really angry. Poppy walked away fuming, her head up high and a killer look murdering anyone who dare crossing ways with her.

That stupid ASSHOLE. Did they THINK they could disrespect her?! To HER! She was the number ONE, the fucking RULER of the entire school. Beck was lucky enough to be in her radar and they just throw stupid shit like that!

“To be fair… I did say it first”

“I thought it was a COMPLIMENT” She fight against herself. “What am I? Some trans expert?!”

“No… But I can be. I mean, to destroy my enemy…”

“I have to know them...”

Even thought she was still mad about it, Poppy tapped wildly though her phone. She needed to do something, and she knew just the thing.

“It´s ON, jackass”

~~X~~

POV: Beck

Top fifteen. Everyone was losing their shit because they were now top twenty and Beck... Well... They just didn´t want it.

And yeah, sure, that was kinda good. The students in Belvoire had begun to pay attention to their music as well, Beck even caught a few of them listen to songs Beck wrote and some other cover as well. Their art was taking off and that was awesome, don't get it wrong, that was something Beck wanted for so long, but...

They were afraid.

What if it was because of the stupid ranking?

What if Beck just wasn´t that good, and the only thing people would want was that Beck who studded up against Poppy Min-Sinclaire and lived to tell? Even Zoey, she was talking about popularity, Belvoire elite, and some “Person to watch-out” or shit Award which yes, was huge! But… Beck really was afraid that it was Beck who puts the music high and not backwards.

What if…

What if Poppy really messes all up?

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Poppy´s words in their mind caught Beck off guard. What was her deal anyway? She came and said some weird shit, and...

Actually, everything in that interaction was weird as fuck. And not just that, Beck meet Taylor by accident later that day in the ice cream shop, they both talked a little and they found out she had a big crush onto some random guy Beck didn´t knew before.

Of course Beck was the matchmaker! They even helped her by carrying those stupid anti-diarrheic pills to the lion´s den. Ok, yes, maybe~ Beck should´ve had given them to someone and not just let them in the front door… But it wasn´t their fault that The T found out!! Poppy was losing it, and of course it was them to blame.

Why can´t they just have a normal life… with normal problems… and not… this?

“I´m dead… I´m actually dead…” Beck thought while burying their head on their hands, tired.

“Beck? Hello? I assume you heard the details of the assignment.”

“What?”

“Ehm… Yeah! Totally” Beck said with a “confident” smile that nobody believed in, Professor Roberta even frowned before going back to the lecture, while Beck tried uselessly to catch something about the assignment from their classmates´ laptops. She hated Beck anyway, but it wasn´t good news to be always in her bad side.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! … What did she say?”

“Mass comm is all about reaching people far and wide, so this project is meant to give the voiceless in our own community a voice by…”

A penetrant gaze nailed their nape, giving them chills. Beck immediately looked for that one hawk over them and not to their surprise the person found on the other side was that deadly beauty called Poppy Min-Sinclair, watching Beck as they´re a prey. Feeling really drove up the wall, Beck winked playfully at her, expecting her to look away or some rude expression towards them.

But no.

Scaring the shit out of them, Poppy actually smiled back at Beck. A sweet, flirty smile that left them feeling their heart racing as crazy and their cheeks burning red, her dark eyes so into theirs that all their system collapsed... What was happening?

“Earth to Beck!”

Professor Roberta yelled, making Beck jump a little in their sit, breaking all eye contact between them both. When did Beck turn their body completely to watch Poppy? Of course the professor was mad, Beck was practically giving her their back! As faster as they could, Beck took the right seat, being even more embarrassed now while Poppy let go a chuckle, they could hear her from any other laughter just as clearly as if she were so close.

“Oh, sorry. I… Sorry”

“Find your community service project partner please” Professor said. Beck gathered their things and head into the aisle, looking around, praying to find someone whiling to work with them and, mainly, explain to them what was that project about. The thing was everyone had already a partner. Everyone except for…

The strawberry blonde was gazing Beck as sure as someone who´s waiting for this chance can be. Smiling that same smile that caused them to feel butterflies in their stomach… Beck wasn´t sure if they were aroused… or scared.

“Professor Roberta… I need a new partner” Beck practically begged. “I´m sorry. I just can´t work with Poppy.”

The pretty but odd teacher was about to say something. Something bad based on the expression on her face, but a perfect made-up laughter cut her words, as Beck was feeling how a soft and warm hand hooked to their arm.

“Nonsense, professor! I am pretty sure we´ll be working just fine.” Poppy said, a relaxed expression drawn on her porcelain face. “Let´s go, Hughes.”

Ok, Beck was now scared. As both of them walked out the classroom, Beck´s brain was running wild, thinking about every and each form Poppy could use to disappear them from the face of the earth. Ironic, Beck survived Farmsville but they´ll be totally done in New York. Ha! Life hates them.

“Listen, I know what you are thinking…”

Really?

“... but the last thing I need right now is having my GPA taken away. So I´ve already figured it all out. We´re doing an animal shelter commercial for our project. I can ask daddy to borrow the equipment and crew”

“Didn´t think of you as a daddy person” Beck laughed, a little more repose.

“Shut the fuck up, Farmsville. This will be easy, so all I need you to do is… Oh my god.”

Poppy stared at her phone completely in shock, color draining from her face as it was sucked by a dementor.

“I have to go. We can figure out the deets later, I´ll text you where to meet me”

Then, she just left. Beck took a deep breath and let out a hiss.

“Gosh, this school is going to kill me!”

They said, who would have thought a class could be so much?

-----

#queen b choices #choices #trans #ftm #poppy x mc #malemc #poppy min sinclair #bea hughes #Beck Hughes #choices stories you play #choices poppy #choices queen b mc #mc x poppy

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flamediel · 4 years

Note

i think about this way too much for real but if i was dating like richard (bc he’s the one i form unrealistic concepts in my head with oops) look we’re both aquarius and i’m already wary of that considering my brother is aquarius too and we bump heads all the fucking time. i’m the one that gets dumped but some stuff that would make me dump richard would be like

if he kept deciding to choose ignorance. like no. i’ll let it slide for a while bc i’ll assume he just doesn’t know but if he steadily chooses to say and do ignorant shit then nope goodbye

jealousy. like ik folks thinks he’s def the jealous type so if that’s for real (and if he’s anything like my ex, also aquarius bc i have a problem) that jealousy stuff just cannot go. like i’m nothing to be jealous over. i barely leave the house. i don’t cheat and flirt if i’m in a relationship. hell i don’t even like to be alone with other people in relationships like even if my best friend is in another room and i’m in the same room as her bf im as far as possible and the door stays open bc sure he’s a friend but i don’t want even the thought of disrespect crossing anybody’s mind.

that being said, if he’s consistently acting flirty with other girls like i understand his career is like he’s supposed to act like he’s on the market ready and available but like outside of work? no.

this part goes for anyone bc the only relationship i ever had was an abusive shitstorm so emotional manipulation? controlling who i can and can’t be friends with? blocking me one minute and begging for forgiveness the next? good fucking bye

this is v long sorry but yeah

Ok I'm still at work and won't be getting to most of these till im home but this one just hit so hi.

First of all an aqua and an aqua is a CHOICE alssksjs you are asking to butt heads there.

I agree tho ignorant richard is so annoying if we were dating i would shove my social justice commentary so far down his throat he starts reciting Angela Davis like?? I do not care sir you will NOT be using that language near me.

Jealousy is such a pet peeve of mine i have close guy friends but guess what? If I've known him for four years and nothing happened NOTHING is gonna happen. Richard would annoy me so fast if he's getting jealous ESP if he's around other girls or its a double standard aldkls I'd fight.

Tbh if he flirts w other girls openly imma be pissed lol being nice to fans is one thing but I can smell the fuckboy energy on him and if he's out dancing w random girls or alone w them im gonna be SO suspicious like I am not the one. Fr if you wanna cheat on me you should just call and tell me you wanna break up right before like then ill respect you a little at least and probably won't murder you when I find out

Bro if he's all over w his feelings and not straightforward im out so fast like I will tell people what I want and if they don't wanna give it to me or aren't sure for themselves that's a red flag and im put the door.

Im so suspicious of richard alsjkss I probably shouldn't date him since my expectations for him are in hell but like?? If I do the boundaries are literally gonna need to be written out bc he seems like he's good at twisting things and being all cute and im not about to fall for that shit.

Some questions (lmk what your thoughts are)

#asks #cnco #richard camacho #ask game

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bouwrites · 4 years

Text

Even Heroes Have the Right to Dream: Chapter 7

I try to reach out to the light through the glass as it shatters.

First, Previous, Next. Ao3.

Story under read-more.

Marinette is nervous to see Jon again. She probably shouldn’t be. They don’t part on a bad note, and as they promise, they text each other throughout the break, so she knows they’re good, she just… is nervous.

The summer is a good time to distract herself and process everything that happened. Process knowing that Jon is Superboy. Or, was. He’s not anymore. Marinette still has to remind herself of that, despite it all. And the reason she has to remind herself is because it just makes too much sense.

Jon is a man who takes what he’s doing seriously. Even when he laughs and jokes around, he practices a kind of restraint that Marinette doesn’t see in many people. A sort of temperance that implies he’s always aware of exactly what he’s doing. The way he makes moves around her so that he never crowds her even in the tightest of quarters, how careful he is with the most simple of actions, like holding a pencil, the way he always seems to be there when she has a problem, but never forces the issue. Moments like the day she returned from break and he cheered her up after her breakup with Adrien. He’s almost hyperaware of boundaries and stays as far as he can from breaking anything while still doing everything possible to help.

Marinette thought he was just like that, but now that she knows he was Superboy, she thinks that’s probably something that is trained into him. That doesn’t make him any less sweet and thoughtful, of course, but if she’s totally honest his powers unnerve her. Even in her time as Ladybug, Marinette never had the pleasure of meeting any of the Kryptonian heroes, but she knows of them. Alya adores them. Marinette doesn’t know what to think of them.

Some people – most people – uphold Superman as an ideal. He’s a model of the idea that power doesn’t have to corrupt. He is someone with the power to do almost anything he wants, a veritable god on Earth, yet he doesn’t. He restrains himself, constantly and consistently puts the needs of others above his own, and is relentlessly mindful of the repercussions of his actions. He’s a reminder to do good, but also that one must remain vigilant in doing so.

To a certain degree, Marinette also tries to uphold this ideal. When she accepted her role as a hero back then, she did everything she could to make Ladybug stand for the same thing.

In a word, Superman as a hero can be described as careful. All of the Super family can. Jon is no exception, even in his daily life. So, in that sense, it doesn’t surprise her.

That said, truth be told, that kind of power makes Marinette uncomfortable. She doesn’t have great experience with adults in positions of authority restraining themselves and consistently doing the right thing, to say the least. She doesn’t trust that kind of power, because she believes that power does corrupt.

Power turns little girls into bullies. Power is what desperate people lie and cheat and kill for. Power is what turns a heartbroken widower into a deranged psychopath, or a devoted love into heartless manipulation. It’s a hero’s job to wield power for good, but how many terrible things have been done by heroes? Perhaps it’s cynical of her, but while she believes in people’s inherent goodness, she does not believe in the goodness of power. The hero’s job is so difficult precisely because they’re using their power against its own nature.

And thus, she’s ideologically at odds with Superman. Maybe he can do it. Maybe he can refuse temptation. Maybe he’s really just that good that his restraint and integrity can survive the absolutely absurd amount of power he possesses. Maybe Supergirl is the same way, too. But someday, if they keep having kids, if Jon’s kids inherit the powers, and their kids inherit it, and on, and on, Marinette doesn’t think it’ll be long before one of them does mess up.

And yet… now that she knows Jon, now that she knows what kind of person he is, she’s not so worried. Because Jon isn’t a person who practices restraint. He’s not a person who is always keeping an eye on himself, checking himself because no one around him is strong enough to do it for him. Jon is just a guy who has so much of that inherent goodness Marinette believes in that he doesn’t need that kind of restraint. Marinette is surprised that she trusts him. And that makes her doubt his family a little less, too. They raised him, after all, so they can’t be that bad.

“What’s that?” Marinette asks. Jon is finally at the apartment and is unpacking when she spies a colorful bolt of cloth in an open one.

Jon looks over and chuckles awkwardly. “That’s, uh… that’s the… flag. Of Krypton.”

“Huh. I didn’t know you had a flag.”

Jon takes it out of the box to spread out on the coffee table so she can see it. It’s a little dull and faded. Marinette imagines it’s old. When she pictures the flag in its proper form, she thinks it’s bright and vibrant. The planet in the middle with seemingly random-colored rays bursting out from it. “Yeah, it’s the, like, Planetary Federation of Krypton’s flag. There were other people on Krypton, but this is, you know, my folks’ flag.”

“…Neat.”

Marinette spies Jon frowning at her. “You’re not… upset?”

She blinks. “Upset for what?”

“Because it’s… weird alien stuff?”

“Pfft, oh, no, Jon.” She sighs. “I don’t want anything to do with heroes, but your heritage is not a hero thing. I don’t mind you bringing Kryptonian things in here. I mean, I make you take off your shoes. That’s not an American thing.”

Jon lets out a tense breath. “Oh, good. Hah. I was kind of nervous about that.”

Marinette laughs. She can see why he is, honestly, especially after last semester. “So, why do you have this? Did you just not take it last year because I didn’t know yet or what? And, uh…” She takes another long, cautious look at the flag, “what do you plan on doing with it?”

Jon eyes the flag with her. “Nah, I got it this summer. My Aunt Kara gave it to me. She was actually on Krypton before it blew up, so she’s the only one who actually remembers what it was like there.” He looks over at her and smirks. “And don’t worry, I’m not hanging it up. That would be hard to explain to visitors. Besides, it’s kind of ugly, isn’t it?”

“Oh, thank god!” Marinette sighs dramatically. “I didn’t want to be rude, so I didn’t want to say anything, but you said it first! It’s pretty ugly.”

Jon laughs. “I know. But it’s symbolic.”

“They couldn’t have picked a prettier symbol? This is like a Teletubby vomited on fabric.”

“Pfft hahaha! Marinette! Wow!”

Marinette blushes. “I’m sorry, was that too far? I just-”

Jon continues cackling as he valiantly tries to force comprehensible words out. “Don’t worry about it! It is ugly.”

Marinette shifts uncomfortably. True as her statement is, and even though she is only emboldened enough to say it because Jon clearly takes no offense, she still feels guilty throwing shade at the flag of a near-extinct culture. That seems disrespectful. “So… what does it mean?”

Jon calms down his giggling to explain. “Right, so I’m not really an expert on Krypton, so I’m probably not the best person to ask, but each part of the flag represents one of the eleven virtues. They’re usually referred to altogether as the Girod.”

“Girod.” Marinette tests the alien word on her tongue. It’s a little strange to her, not because of pronunciation or the word itself, but because of the knowledge that the word she’s saying quite literally comes from an alien race.

“The Girod is basically the foundation of Kryptonian society. When Aunt Kara gave me this, she told me this,” he gestures to the flag, “is what it means to be Kryptonian. She and dad try their best to live up to the Girod, and I…” He sighs, melancholier than Marinette expects. “I’m not sure yet. I mean, in theory, I’ve been raised with the same principles. We just didn’t call it the Girod or acknowledge it as, you know, the foundation of Kryptonian society. But… I’m not really sure I believe it’s even possible.”

Marinette purses her lips, examining Jon carefully. He’s pensive, all furrowed brow and distant eyes lost in the oceans of the planet on the flag. “What are the virtues? You said there’s eleven of them?”

Jon shakes himself out of his thoughts to answer. “Right, uh… The center, that’s Krypton, represents Unity. Then there’s… Truth, Industriousness, and Justice. Those are the core virtues, and are the three green lines here. Then there’s… Peace, Purity, Restraint… how many was that? Hold on.” He frowns, grumbling as he counts on his fingers. “Unity, three core ones – that’s four. Peace, Purity, Restraint… seven. What else? Imagination, that’s one. Can’t forget Hope – you know, my family’s crest also stands for Hope? Apparently the ‘S’ for Superman is just convenient.”

Marinette giggles. “I think Alya might have mentioned that.”

Jon nods. “Anyway, that’s… where were we? Augh, sorry, just a second.” He picks his phone up off the table and navigates through it.

“It’s fine if you don’t remember, Jon.”

“No, no, I need to remember this. I’m trying to learn it. Okay, here it is. I got the first few right. Unity, Truth, Industriousness, Justice. Then, oh! That’s what I was forgetting. Synergy.”

“Synergy?” Marinette makes a face. “Isn’t that the same as Unity?”

“Eh… sort of. Unity is more like… belonging. It’s… family, sort of. Like, we’re all part of the same group. Synergy is working together; more of a ‘greater than the sum of its parts’ kind of thing.”

“Oh, okay, that makes sense.”

“And the rest of the virtues are Imagination, Purity, Restraint, Hope, and Altruism… wait, was that eleven? Oh! Peace. I said that the first time but skipped when I was reading the notes.”

“Calm down, Jon. You won’t remember it right away.” She pats his back gently. “I think it’s really cool that you’re trying, though.

Jon ducks his head. “Thanks. I- I’m not really… I don’t really know what I’m doing.” He gets that far-off look as he examines the flag once more. “Krypton is just as alien to me as it is to you, but… somehow it’s my heritage. Honestly, it’s kind of weird. And the Girod… Do you see what I mean? When I say I’m not sure I really believe it’s possible to live up to that?”

Marinette sighs. The way Jon hold himself, how unsure he is, how frightened he is, it’s unsettling to her. For a lot of reasons. “You know, to me, it sounds like you do a pretty good job already.”

“You think?” Jon doesn’t smile. That draws Marinette’s lips downwards, too.

“Yeah.” She says. “Can I see the list?” He hands over his phone so she can read off it. On the note is just a simple list of the virtues with a color next to them – the color on the flag that symbolizes that virtue. “Restraint. I think your whole family has that in spades just to live normally.”

Jon chuckles uncomfortably. “Something tells me that’s not what that originally meant.”

Marinette shrugs. “Altruism. You’re one of the most selfless people I know. Remember when I was really frazzled last year just before our first tests?”

That does manage to pull a smile out of him. “I had to take you out fabric shopping just so you’d obsess over something else. Then I ended up being your pack horse.”

“And that whole time, you had tests to study for, too.” Marinette points out. “That’s just one of a hundred different things you’ve done for me in just a semester, not even counting everyone else you help all the time. Then there’s peace. I think you do that better than your dad.”

Jon jumps a little. “You do?”

“Duh. Even in the name of peace, violence is still violence. I don’t think any of those types of heroes can truly say they stand for peace.”

“Even if it’s to protect people who can’t protect themselves?”

“That doesn’t mean they aren’t fighting. Even if it’s a good fight, even if it’s the only choice, it’s still not peace. Don’t you think?”

Jon is quiet for a long time. “…Yeah, I think I agree.”

Marinette smiles and hands him his phone back. “But, hey, I’m human. Maybe my interpretation of these virtues isn’t even close to how Kryptonians saw them.”

Jon frowns for a little longer, and then asks, “Does it matter? Maybe humans have some pretty good insight. I think you do, at least.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. I try my best.”

Jon giggles. “You know, I’ve talked to Aunt Kara about what each of the virtues mean, but… now I’m thinking I want your perspective, too. I’m not, like, devoting my life to the Girod or anything, but… I think it’s a beautiful ideal. Don’t you? It might be worth thinking about, as I figure out what kind of person I want to be now that I’m not a hero.”

“Sure.” Marinette says. “I’m always happy to help. And, now that I’m thinking about it, if you want sage advice on virtues, you might find talking to Tikki interesting.”

Jon raises his brow at her. “Tikki?”

“She’s a kwami. I never told you how I became Ladybug, did I?” Jon shakes his head. Marinette chuckles. “Well, I’ll start at the beginning.”

Marinette doesn’t introduce Jon to Tikki right away. They both still have unpacking to do and a semester to prepare for, after all, but they do eventually find time for Marinette to dig out the earrings and summon her.

Tikki’s big, sad eyes cut deep into Marinette. She knows Tikki doesn’t like that Marinette doesn’t wear the earrings regularly, or that Marinette is leaving the Miracle Box in Paris. She begrudgingly gives her blessing, but she’s definitely not happy about it.

Marinette often misses Tikki, but the earrings feel so heavy in her ears. It’s hard to bring herself to wear them. It’s been over a year now since she stopped doing so regularly. Despite everything else, Marinette likes being just a normal girl. The leaden studs in her ears and Tikki’s constant presence is only a reminder that she isn’t and never will be. A painful one.

“Tikki, meet Jon.”

“Hi, Jon!” Tikki chirps, appearing happy. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Jon hesitates a little when he sees her, and Marinette can tell his smile is a tad strained. “You too, Tikki.”

“Marinette told me about you.” Tikki says. “Thank you for being here for her. I know times are hard for the both of you, but I know you can get through it together if you stick by each other.”

Again, Jon hesitates. There’s an odd look in his eyes as he says, “Yeah. I’m lucky to have her.” The look is almost… wary.

The conversation continues for a while, and Jon eventually explains the Girod and asks for Tikki’s opinion on it and as Tikki talks, Jon starts shifting around and staring at his own lap and worrying his lip. “I’m curious about the Kryptonian stance on when those virtues come into conflict.” Tikki says. “If, for instance, you must sacrifice Peace for the sake of Justice, what should you do?”

“Don’t.” Jon says. “If you sacrifice peace for justice, it’s not justice to start with. It’s revenge, or pettiness, or… something like that.” He’s quiet for a moment. “I’d like to think so, anyway. Honestly… I don’t know enough about Krypton to say what they thought.”

Tikki hums thoughtfully. “But if there is a villain that is hurting people, there may be no way to bring him to justice except to fight.”

Jon slouches further, shrinking in his chair. “Is it worth it? To sacrifice peace?”

“If it saves the lives of innocents.”

“If it makes you guilty?”

“It’s for a good cause. You’re not guilty.”

“I think you are.” Jon says. “I don’t think there’s any good reason to sacrifice peace.” He sighs. “That’s… one of the virtues I’ve been considering the most. In human history, who are the most renowned champions for change? Who do we consider to have made the most difference for the better?”

Tikki’s eyes flash with something akin to recognition. “I think of Jeanne d’Arc. Joan of Arc, I think you call her.”

“I think of Martin Luther King Jr. Ghandi.” Jon says. “Those people changed the world with a principle of nonviolence. That proves it can be done.”

“In some situations. Most situations, I agree. But there are times when there’s no choice but to fight.”

Marinette shifts under Tikki’s gaze, as does Jon, but Jon, for now, at least, doesn’t back down. No matter how doubtful the expression on his face appears. “And we can drop our principles just like that? What value do principles have if we can ignore them whenever they don’t help us?”

“They still guide you. They give you something to fight for. They’re what you win for.”

Jon takes a deep breath. “I can’t accept that. Fighting in the name of peace is stupid. And it makes you a hypocrite. Fighting is fighting. Simple as that.”

“So in the name of peace, you would stand by and let a tyrant harm innocents?” Tikki frowns, and looks between Jon and Marinette for a moment. “I know you both have decided to give up on being heroes. But heroes are still important. Everyone has a responsibility to do what they can for the people around them. That includes fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. And if the villain doesn’t give you any other choice, it may even include going to battle for them. I don’t think peace means nonviolence. I think it means balance. And the ever-shifting balance is a constant battle to maintain.”

“You expect us to sacrifice ourselves and our ideals for people who don’t even see us as people?” Jon mutters. “Just because we can?”

“The virtue of altruism.” Tikki says.

Jon takes another deep breath. “You expect too much of us.”

“I don’t think so. I think you’re more than capable. You’re both wonderful heroes. And it’s true that it’s hard. Sometimes, you need to take a break, and that’s okay. You have to take care of yourselves, too, or you won’t be able to save anyone. But people do rely on you. Just think about it.”

Jon huffs quietly. “Like I ever stop.” Marinette flinches at his words because she can relate. Even a year out, it’s hard to ignore how many people she might be helping. The more time passes, the more people go unaided because she made the choice to abandon her duties. And she feels guilty.

She doesn’t regret leaving, though. Yet that only makes her feel guiltier.

Marinette takes the earrings off eventually, tucking them back into a hidden corner, and she and Jon are in silence for a while. “I don’t think I really like Tikki that much.” Jon says.

Marinette grimaces. “No?”

“She kind of reminds me of Dad when he gets on my case about superhero responsibilities. He doesn’t do that anymore, since he’s accepted that I’m retired, but… I don’t really appreciate the lecture. No offense.”

“I understand.” Marinette says honestly. “Frankly, that’s part of the reason why I don’t have her out much. Part of it is just that wearing the earrings, having her around all the time, it reminds me of… everything. But another part is that she…” Marinette sighs. “I’m the guardian of the Miracle Box. It’s my duty to take care of all the kwami, not just her. And I’ve left the box with Chat Noir. I… don’t really want it back.”

Jon makes a face. “Yeah. Understandable.”

“To you.” Marinette laughs bitterly. “I think you’re the only one who actually understands. Everyone else is either waiting for me to come back or is supporting me despite not understanding.”

Jon chuckles as well, mirroring her. “I know that feeling. At least they are being supportive, right?”

“Yeah. They’re good friends.”

“The best.” Jon bites his lip and smiles. “Do you think you can just make Chat Noir the guardian?”

“I’ve thought about it.” Marinette sighs. “I told you what happened to the old guardian.”

Jon recoils. “Right. I remember now. You’d forget.”

“I’m tempted to do it.” Marinette says. “I can. Anytime I want. I just have to do it. Sometimes I think forgetting will be a good thing. If I do, I can finally just live a normal life and none of these responsibilities will be mine to worry about. I won’t even know they exist.”

Jon’s face is still contorted into a hurt, concerned grimace. “If you did… would you forget me? This?”

Marinette sighs. “I’m not sure. If we were just two university students rooming together, I’d say maybe not, but… I know you were Superboy, and you know about Ladybug, so… maybe it’s too intertwined with the Miraculous. It’s hard to tell. I’d for sure forget a lot of my friends back home. Honestly, it kind of scares me how tempting the offer of forgetting is despite all that. That’s part of what made me realize I needed to quit being Ladybug in the first place.” She chuckles. “It’s a bit of a red flag, isn’t it?”

“Hah, wow, yeah. I’d say so.”

Marinette breathes slowly. “Anyway. I know Tikki lectured us both a bit, but did you at least get anything out of it? For the… Girod?”

Jon smiles. “Yeah. I think I did. It was… interesting. Thanks for letting me talk to her.”

“No problem.” Marinette says. “I really should let her out more often, anyway.”

The first semester of their second year isn’t anything special, really. Marinette likes most of her classes, though there is, of course, the one that’s just a chore to get through. Jon is stressing over what his major is going to be, so she brainstorms with him sometimes, or just distracts him if he gets too deep into his own head.

By and large, they’re back to how they were before. Things are still a little tense sometimes, and in rare moments Superboy is all Marinette can see when she looks at him and her chest hurts a little, but she makes an effort, as does he, to spend time together. When they eat together at least once almost every day, study together (even if it’s just silently in the same room because of their different subjects), go out together in their free time, and just exist in such close proximity every day, it’s hard not to get used to each other.

And they’re friends. They’re close friends. Marinette is still small, cold, and trembling. The memory of hurt still frays her. But she’s slowly rising up. Things feel okay again, and Marinette thinks that if they can just keep this up, they’ll figure the rest out and they’ll be just fine.

And of course, she has to jinx it.

The phone call comes in at a surprisingly reasonable hour. Marinette is just sitting at her desk, scribbling away at an assignment when her phone starts buzzing. Marinette picks it up and feels her heart jump to her throat when she sees the name on the screen. Adrien.

It’s not that they don’t talk. They do. They’re still friends, and Adrien is still essentially acting as guardian in her stead, so they have to communicate to some degree. Even so, every time he calls and Marinette sees his name she gets dunked into an icy wave of guilt and regrets.

It’s not long until they’ve been single for a year now. And they’re both still trying to be strong. The worst of the pain has passed, but confronting him directly, even about unrelated topics, brings it back.

“Hello? What’s up?”

“Mari! Mari, I’m so sorry! I’m so, so, so, so, sorry! I don’t know how they got in! I swear, I keep it under lock and key; there’s no way they should have know-”

“Adrien, slow down.” Marinette says sharply. In person, and when they were together, this tone would always cut through his panic. Ground him, so that he can focus better. “What happened?”

“I went on patrol like I do every night.” He says. “But when I got back, the Miracle Box was gone. I don’t… I don’t even know who might have taken it! No one knows my identity; it wasn’t just a burglar – they left everything else. My lady, I don’t- I don’t know what to do here.”

Someone’s stolen the Miracle Box? Marinette feels a familiar cold weight inside of her. “What do you have to work with?”

“Myself, Queenie, and Viperion.” Adrien murmurs. “That’s it. And… and you.”

Marinette lets out a soft breath. This is… horrible news, but there is a bright side. “At least you have Viperion. That’s the most dangerous.” Marinette’s stomach turns. She wants to vomit, but instead she just curls forward over her desk and closes her eyes.

Part of her wants to ask why Chloé and Luka have Miraculous, but Adrien is the acting guardian, and she trusts his judgement. Whatever reason he has to give them the Miraculous again is none of her business. “Yeah, but…” Adrien says. “I’m scared. I let you down, and now who knows where the Miraculous are? What if we get another Hawk Moth?”

“Then you’ll stop them.” Marinette says. She tries her best to sound confident. “And you won’t have to wonder who broke in.”

“Who could it be?” Adrien’s voice is tight and desperate. “They had to know who I am and that I’d be out!”

“You have a regular schedule, Adrien, it’s not hard to predict when you’re patrolling.” Marinette says. “But you’re right, they probably know your identity. That narrows down the options.”

“But no one who knows would do this. I won’t believe one of our friends took the box.”

“You’re forgetting someone.” Marinette says. “She found out your identity the same time your father did.”

“…Nathalie.” Adrien’s voice flattens out and turns dark. “Why now?”

“Because you weren’t expecting it. She never would have pulled it off right after Gabriel was arrested.”

Adrien takes a long breath. “At least we have an idea of what we’re dealing with. Thank you, my lady. I’m sorry I let you down.”

Marinette still feels sick, but she has the advantage of being an ocean away. Adrien might still be able to tell how she truly feels, but she thinks she controls her voice pretty well. “You haven’t. No one could have predicted she’d strike now.”

He hums softly. “I’m going to find her. I’ll find her and get the Miraculous back. I promise.”

“Adrien…” Marinette sighs. “I’m not the one you need to make that promise to. That’s not my life anymore.”

“Right.” He sounds a little choked, but he recovers quickly. “I need to call the team. I’ll keep you updated. See you soon, Marinette.”

He hangs up, and Marinette bitterly hopes he doesn’t keep her updated. Calming down Adrien and thinking about who might have stolen the Miracle Box all makes Marinette feel like Ladybug again. It’s… nauseating. She feels guilty in equal parts for acting like she’s still a part of Adrien’s team and for feeling so awful about it.

I wonder if I should tell Jon about this. That idea, too, makes her feel guilty. Because she feels like a hero again when she’s on the phone with Adrien, and no matter how much she hates that feeling, the real guilt is in her hypocrisy. Will Jon agree that she didn’t really do anything? Or is it still too much. He wants to put the hero life behind him, too, and Marinette won’t allow her problems to drag him even tangentially back into it. That’s unfair to everyone.

Marinette won’t bother him with this. She can’t.

The days crawl by. Adrien texts her updates on the situation every now and then, but there’s not much to speak of. A week passes, then another, and then the thing Marinette fears most happens.

Mayura attacks. Marinette is an ocean away, living a different life, but suddenly she’s a fourteen-year-old girl again fighting battles much too big for her. She watches on her phone as Chat Noir and his team defeat the sentimonster, but their victory only hurts. The weight of it all crushes Marinette beneath it like she’s nothing more than an insect. It’s too familiar, too much the same as it was back then. Like she’s accomplished nothing. She did nothing as Ladybug, and she’s doing nothing now. Everything she’s ever done has resulted in failure.

So how can she hope for any different on her search for a normal life? Every time she thinks it’s within reach it’s violently pulled away from her like a rug under her feet. First, she finds out that the person she associates with her normal was a hero, then just as she’s recovering from that, all her accomplishments as a hero are essentially erased.

All because she abandoned her duty. The only reason Nathalie is able to steal the Miracle Box is because it is left in Paris with Adrien. If Marinette hadn’t abandoned her duties, hadn’t turned her back on her role as guardian, then they wouldn’t be in this mess. It’s her fault, and now she’s an ocean away while the people she loves fight to fix it.

Marinette doesn’t want to be a hero again. She hates Ladybug. She hates being the only thing between the world and destruction. The only thing between a villain and tragedy. She’s not Superman, or even Chat Noir. She doesn’t have that kind of strength.

She’s too selfish, and too weak.

But Adrien asks her to.

It’s during the break, not long after she gets back to Paris. Adrien begs her to fight with him again. “I can’t do this without you, my lady.” He pleads. “I need you.”

“I’m not a hero anymore, Adrien.” Marinette says. “I brought the earrings. You can find another Ladybug. That’ll minimize the damage. You can do it.”

“I can’t. We’re fighting Nathalie. You were always my rock, Marinette. You’re the only reason I could fight my father. I need you. Not any Ladybug, you.”

Marinette grits her teeth. “I’ve been trying for over a year now to live a normal life.” Marinette says quietly. “You’re asking me to give that up.”

“I know.” He covers his face. He doesn’t want her to see that he’s crying, but he can’t hide it from her. He can’t hide anything from her. “I’m sorry. But I don’t have any other choice.”

“You’re the hero, Adrien. Not me. This? Right here? This is exactly why I quit. I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

And she means it. She means it with every fiber of her being. But when Mayura gets the upper hand, when Viperion is taken out in almost the first strike, when Queen Bee is battered and unmoving a mile away, Tikki is pleading, and Chat Noir has that look in his eyes that Marinette is too familiar with, there’s no other choice.

She throws a blanket over her mirror, ducks beneath her shame, and shakily says, “Tikki, transform me.”

——-=——-

Tag List: @moonystars14 @pawsitivelymiraculous @magic-miraculous @vixen-uchiha @buticaaba @bigpicklebananatree @lozzybowe @moonlightstar64 @amayakans @theatreandcomicfreak @toodaloo-kangaroo @too0bsessedformyowngood <3

#miraculous ladybug fanfiction #ml fanfiction #ml x dc #maribat #marijon #ehhtrtd

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spacesnail3000 · 5 years

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Brooklyn’s Sweetheart Chapter 4: Don’t Get Handsy, Doll

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Chapter Summary: The calm is supposed to come before the storm, but with Steve, it comes after. Unfortunately, he’s a storm that goes on and on and on.

Word Count: 5042

Warnings: Language, abuse (slapping), smut between Steve and Bucky (rough blowjobs, handjobs), manipulation tactics and Steve being a controlling asshole

Masterlist / AO3

The weekend started off cloudy and rainy, much to Y/N’s chagrin. She had been enjoying the nice weather and their days spent swimming together. It was like old times, and she felt liberated from the constant watch of her father. She knew Steve was supposed to be upholding her father’s stern rule, but he seemed to forget himself in the past few days as they played around, allowing her the freedom to act how she pleased and do what she wanted—as long as she didn’t get too bratty with them.

After a breakfast of French toast and a mid-morning nap on the sofa, Steve and Bucky took a work call in the office, leaving Y/N up to her own devices for a short time while they spoke to Tony about mob developments. The phone call took almost an hour before they were done. Then they were walking into the kitchen discussing what they should do for lunch.

“It’s whatever you want, Buck,” he snapped, a little harsher than he meant to. Steve didn’t want to deal with it. He didn’t have the patience for it.

He hadn’t started the day off in a good mood. The phone call with Tony had worked him up even more. On top of that, Peggy was still cross with him, and she hadn’t been accommodating for phone sex, so he was frustrated in more ways than one.

His relationship with Peggy was one of convenience at first, but more and more these days it was becoming the opposite. He began dating Peggy about a year before because he liked her, her beauty, her sharpness, how refined she was, so he fell into a relationship with her. Then, it became clear that she wasn’t the type of woman who would understand the mob life—she didn’t grow up in it; she only came to New York from London for work.

Sometimes she spoke to him about moving back to London—together. He never told her he had no intention of doing so—more because he didn’t want to deal with the fight that would result, but he also didn’t want to break up with her for the time being. His relationship with her was just so easy for him—sex and affection when he wanted it, and radio silence at other times.

But she wasn’t pleased that so much of his time was spent with the mob—which was only increasing now that Tony was giving him more responsibility. That was why she was so mad about the trip to Martha’s Vineyard. She said if he had time to go on vacation there, he should be able to spend more time with her in the city. She didn’t understand that it was his job to be there, protecting Stane’s daughter.

Peggy didn’t understand most of the things he had to do because of the mob. That was the most annoying part for him.

And now, Bucky and Y/N were both testing his limits.

Their days at the pool were almost torture, with Bucky’s short shorts and her little bikinis. Bucky had spent all day the day before cuddling up to him and batting those long eyelashes at him. Steve didn’t even know if Bucky knew what he was doing to him. And Y/N had spent the last few days provoking them any way she could, pressing up against them in the pool, getting them to put sunscreen on her back. He definitely knew she didn’t know what she was doing to him.

Regardless of how they both made him feel, he knew he couldn’t act on it. Peggy didn’t deserve to be cheated on. When he started dating her, he broke things off with Bucky—but they had always been on-again-off-again, so he didn’t think Bucky would mind. They would start fucking when it was convenient and stop fucking when they started dating other partners. If either of them wanted more than a friends-with-benefits situation—well, neither of them ever said anything.

And Y/N—she was probably off-limits. Stane’s daughter? Steve would be missing nine fingers if Stane found out Steve was after her. But then again, nobody really had to know—right? Not this summer when they would be practically alone on Martha’s Vineyard almost the entire time.

Steve had warred with himself in his head like that since he first saw her in that pearl choker necklace.

Unfortunately, his arousal only added to his anger from the call with Tony, and now his irritation was threatening to boil over at any moment.

“Y/N!” Bucky called into the house, getting out sandwich ingredients. When he got no answer, he called again, “Sweetheart, c’mere, we’re gonna make lunch!”

Several minutes passed and they still had no answer. Steve and Bucky shared a look, and his irritation mounted with each passing second that she ignored them.

He shouted her name using his no-nonsense-voice. “Get down here, now!”

She wouldn’t disobey one of his direct orders.

Right?

“Buck, go get her.”

Bucky sprinted upstairs, and moments later, Steve heard several doors opening and closing. He called her name, his voice soft but a little panicked. “Steve! She’s not up here?”

Bucky and Steve checked the downstairs rooms quickly before Steve was growling, “She’s not here, where the fuck is she?”

“Calm down, Steve,” Bucky tried, but Steve shoved past him and into the backyard. She wasn’t there either, and it was still drizzling a little bit, so she wouldn’t have gone far.

Right?

“She’s over there!” Bucky called. He was at the edge of the backyard, looking over the fence, and then darting out the back gate. Steve quickly followed, and then he saw her.

She was some ways away, standing at the edge of the water, the hood of her windbreaker pulled up to protect her from the rain. Her old Polaroid camera was in her hands and she was crouching, taking photos of the tide.

Steve yelled her name, anger clear in his voice. She straightened up immediately and looked over at them. One hand raised in a tentative wave, but Steve was on her before she could say anything. “What the hell are you doing?” he growled, grabbing her by the upper arm and dragging her back towards the house.

“Ouch!” she yelped, and his grip tightened. She wasn’t walking as fast as he wanted her to be, and she whined at him, stumbling a little in her effort to keep up with his long strides. “Steve! Stop! What are you doing?” He yanked her forward and she whimpered. “Steve, please! You’re hurting me!”

But he didn’t stop, not until they were back in the house, where he shoved her roughly onto the sofa. There were tears in her eyes and her hand came up to rub at her arm where he has grabbed her.

“Just what the hell was that?” he snarled.

“I just wanted to take some pictures,” she answered, voice reedy and wavering. “The sea foam gets really pretty when it rains and I wanted some pictures of it…”

Steve couldn’t fault her for wanting to take pictures of things she liked—she did that all the time, ever since her father had given her a Polaroid camera when she turned 12. Snapping pictures of sun beams through the window, fresh snow on the streets of Brooklyn, the asphalt just after it rained. He was used to it.

But he couldn’t shove down the intense panic he felt when he realized she was gone.

“You should have told us where you were going,” he told her, anger still boiling over, lacing his words and the tone of his voice with venom.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you,” she said, “I know you guys were on the phone. I knew it was important…”

“Don’t give me that. You should have waited for us or—"

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” she protested, standing up abruptly. “You’re being such a jerk about this!”

They all heard the crack of Steve’s palm against her cheek before any of them had time to process it. He hadn’t smacked her that hard—her father had surely done worse—but a bright red mark was already clear across her cheek.

Bucky jumped slightly at the sound, but he knew he couldn’t intervene. Steve would never allow him to. He watched the two of them, every single muscle in his body tense.

Slowly, she turned her face to look at him, eyes shimmering. But Steve wasn’t finished yet.

Swiftly, he gathered her hair in one hand and yanked her head back, straining her neck as he forced her to look up to him. His face was close to hers as he spoke and she could feel his breath on her lips. “You don’t talk to me like that,” he growled, “You don’t disrespect me like that.”

“Steve—”

“Shut your mouth!” he barked, silencing her easily with a yank to her scalp. “You’re going to listen to me carefully, sweetheart. I will not tolerate your attitude, nor will I tolerate you disobeying my rules. Now, I have rules for a reason—to keep you safe. You’re not allowed to go off by yourself without telling us first. I do that to keep you safe. Do you understand?”

A few tears slid down her cheeks, and she didn’t answer him until he yanked on her hair again, shaking her a little. “Answer me!”

“Y-yes, S-Steve,” she stuttered through a fresh wave of tears.

“Good girl.” Steve met Bucky’s eyes, gave a quick tilt of his head towards the couch, indicating for him to come and help him comfort her.

Then he released his tight grip on her hair, but he slid his hand down to grasp the back of her neck firmly. She was boneless under his touch, and he maneuvered her easily so that she was sitting sideways in Bucky’s lap. Steve sat close, her legs draped over his thighs so she was practically sitting in both their laps. As Bucky stroked up and down her spine to soothe her, Steve kept a hand on her neck so she couldn’t turn her face away.

For a moment, Steve just watched as she cried, appreciating the sight. Flushed cheeks glistening, red rimmed eyes and nose, eyes sparkling in the low light. She was one of the prettiest criers he had ever seen, and something swelled inside his chest at the idea that he was the cause. That she looked all pretty and vulnerable for him.

He really did have a thing for making people cry—Bucky was right; he didn’t know what it was, it just did something for him.

However, it wouldn’t do to get hard now, with her on their laps like this, so Steve tamped those thoughts down. Still, he made sure to mentally catalogue the image of her tear-stained face for later.

“Let it out, sweetie,” he purred, voice taking on a gentler tone as he pulled her into his chest, stroking her hair. As she sobbed, Steve met Bucky’s gaze. The other man’s eyes were dark, and as Steve looked at him, he licked his lips. He had a knowing look on his face, like he could see every one of Steve’s thoughts.

Steve only smirked at him.

She eventually pulled back, and he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from her cheeks tenderly. “I forgive you,” he whispered, stroking a few errant strands of hair from her forehead. “You’re okay. We’re okay.”

Frowning at that, she tried to pull back, knowing she wasn’t in the wrong—Steve was. Both Steve and Bucky kept her close with their firm grips. She felt conflicted. After all, she hadn’t done anything wrong, and then Steve got so angry and slapped her. But then he was so sweet and tender, soothing her as she cried.

“I know you want to be a good girl for me,” he murmured, still stroking along her cheeks, large hands framing her face. He thumbed along the dip right below her lower lip, just a fleeting touch. “We have rules for a reason. Be a good girl and follow them.”

She supposed he had a point. He was supposed to keep her safe, and how could he do that if he didn’t know where she was?

Plus, how could he be bad if he was being so nice to her?

Steve saw it when she resigned herself to him, to his will. He smiled softly at her and leaned in to kiss her forehead, his firm grip keeping her close for a moment. She could smell him—all peppermint and sharp aftershave. When he pulled back, he touched his own cheek with a finger, asking her for a kiss. She relented easily, leaning in to press her lips against his jaw.

Manipulating her had always been so simple.

Satisfied that he had her wrapped around his finger again, he patted her thigh. “Now, you’re going to go up to your room and stay there until dinner. Understand?”

She didn’t hesitate before nodding. Helping her up and leading her to the stairs with a hand on her lower back, he kissed her on the crown before sending her off.

Once her door closed, he went into the kitchen, gesturing for Bucky to follow, and poured a glass of scotch for both of them.

“You liked that a little too much, I think,” Bucky said, watching Steve as he downed the entire glass at once.

Steve exhaled with the burn of the drink, and then poured another. He needed it. Her insubordination had been just the right catalyst for his anger to boil over. Yelling at her, manhandling her—it had released a little bit of his tension, but he needed more. Now that he had seen her crying so pretty for him, his anger had shifted more to a heated desire simmering under his skin, one that needed taking care of now.

He had sent her up to her room so he wouldn’t do anything he might regret.

To her, at least.

“You think so?” he asked, eyeing Bucky. Bucky was only wearing a pair of short shorts and one of Steve’s sweatshirts. The thin cloth of his shorts didn’t hide his erection, which rivalled Steve’s own.

“I know so.”

“Looks like you enjoyed the show, too.” Stalking towards Bucky, he gestured towards Bucky’s groin.

Bucky didn’t respond to that, but he did blush fiercely, so how was Steve supposed to resist? He was on Bucky in no time, pressing their bodies together. “I’m feelin’ a little worked up here. Care to help me out?” The subtle grind of his hips against Steve’s own told Steve all he needed to know.

“This why you sent her to her room?” Bucky asked, already a little breathless.

Smirking, Steve moved closer to whisper into Bucky’s ear, “Well, it wouldn’t do to fuck your mouth in the middle of the kitchen when she could just walk in on us, would it?” He could smell Bucky’s cologne and a little bit of cigarette smoke as he ran his nose along the side of Bucky’s neck, eliciting a shiver out of the man.

“That’s never stopped you before,” Bucky groaned as Steve shoved a thigh between his own, pressing up into his crotch. Their bodies were pressed so tightly together that Bucky could feel Steve breathing, the rapid thrum of his heart.

Steve hummed. “No, it hasn’t. I wouldn’t care if she saw me using you like that. But it might confuse her. You know how she is.”

“A virgin, you mean?” Bucky’s hands came forward to grab Steve’s hips, his head falling backward as Steve pressed up against his cock.

Steve huffed a laughed. “Yeah. She’s just so… innocent.”

“You liked it when she cried, Stevie?” Bucky goaded, trying to provoke him more. He loved it when Steve got all hot and bothered like this.

“I did,” Steve confirmed, pressing his cock up against Bucky’s hip, grinding into him for some relief. One hand came up to cup Bucky’s jaw, thumb tracing his lips. “Looked so pretty, all teary-eyed for me.” His other hand came down and cupped Bucky’s cock. “And you? This? Where did this come from, hmm? Did you like to see her cry? Or did you like it when I slapped her? Or maybe it was when I sat her on your lap and wiped her tears away.”

God, it was just so debased, but yes, Bucky had enjoyed all of it. For some sinful reason, Bucky was turned on by Steve’s rough handling of their girl, and Bucky had wanted nothing more than to kiss her and hold her while she cried, distract her from the sadness with something else—something she wasn’t ready for.

More importantly, Steve knew that Bucky had enjoyed it. Steve knew exactly what Bucky wanted.

It was a dynamic of theirs. Steve yelled at her, she cried, and they comforted her together. Bucky had always done most of the comforting, being extra sweet to her for days afterwards to try and make up for when Steve was an ass.

Bucky just… wanted more.

Steve was kissing at his neck now, sucking harsh marks into the skin below his jaw. Bucky buried a hand in Steve’s hair and yanked his head up, joining their mouths in a sloppy kiss. It had been a while, but they knew each other’s bodies too well, knew how to move together, how to make each other feel good.

Steve bit at Bucky’s lips and then was putting pressure on his shoulders. As Bucky sank down to his knees, he nipped at Steve’s neck, pushed up his shirt to lick at his abdomen, then, once he was seated back on his ankles, leaned his head forward and nuzzled into the line of Steve’s clothed cock.

“Such a good boy,” Steve praised him, petting his head and then pushing his face into his crotch more. Bucky loved it, could feel his own dick leaking into his shorts. Bucky mouthed at his dick, wetting the fabric of Steve’s joggers with his mouth. “Take them off, baby.” Steve pulled his hand away from Bucky’s head.

Bucky obeyed, quickly pulling Steve’s joggers and thin briefs down. Steve took control then, fisting Bucky’s long hair with one hand and taking his length into his other hand.

“Open,” Steve commanded, and Bucky complied. Steve traced the line of Bucky’s lips with the tip of his cock until they were glossy with precum. “Pretty,” Steve said reverently, “So pretty like this.” The praise went right to Bucky’s cock.

Bucky licked his lower lip, just a quick little flick of his tongue to taste Steve’s precum, salty and a little bitter.

Steve didn’t waste any more time. He pushed Bucky’s head forward with the vice grip on his hair and slid his cock into the man’s mouth swiftly. “Oh, God,” Steve groaned. Bucky was always so good at this—always had been able to take Steve right down to the root, nose buried against his dusty blond pubic hair.

And God, Bucky just loved it. He loved the feeling of Steve’s cock obstructing his throat, the weight of it in his mouth, stretching his lips wide.

Steve stayed there, reveling in the feeling of Bucky’s wet mouth, tongue gently caressing the underside of his shaft, throat convulsing around the head of his cock. Then he adjusted his grip on Bucky—framed his face with large hands on either side of his head, fingertips digging into the place where his jaw met his neck. Steve could feel his carotid pulse right on his fingertips, and if he pressed hard enough, he could cut it off, make Bucky real dizzy.

Just the thought of Steve doing that made Bucky dizzy. Well, that and the fact that Steve’s cock was still lodged in his throat, cutting off his airway. But he had always been able to hold his breath for a long time. It came in handy.

Steve pulled back and immediately set a punishing rhythm, fucking Bucky’s throat without delay.

It was rough, sloppy, saliva pooling in his mouth and dripping down over his lower lip, trailing down his chin. His jaw ached and he was making obscene noises every time Steve’s cock stormed the path across his tongue, past his gag reflex, and right into his throat—and back.

“Fuck—yes,” Steve grunted, “So good at this, baby. Your mouth was made for this, Buck. Made for my cock.”

Bucky palmed at his own erection lazily, just to relieve some tension while Steve used his mouth. Steve noticed. “Good God, baby, you’re so fuckin’ hot for this, aren’t you? Love it when I fuck your mouth like this? It turns you on?”

Bucky gave a broken little moan in response, but it was quickly cut off by Steve’s cock. Steve laughed at the noise and hummed. “Yeah, I know, sweetheart. Can’t help yourself, huh? Should use you like this all the time, keep your throat around my cock every second of the goddamn day. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Bucky gave another rough little noise, and then Steve was groaning loud, grip tightening on Bucky’s jaw. “You would like it, I know you would. God—fuck,” he groaned and his hips stuttered. It didn’t take long to get him to the edge after his lack of sexual activity for the last few weeks. “Too good at this, Buck, gonna make me—ohh—come—fuck!” He growled and buried his cock in Bucky’s throat. Bucky’s lips and nose pressed against Steve’s pelvis as he came, forcing Bucky to swallow everything.

Finally, he pulled back, and Bucky took several moments to catch his breath, dark spots dancing in his eyes. Then Steve was pulling him to his feet and kissing the taste from Bucky’s mouth, tongues dragging together lazily in Steve’s post-orgasm haze and the oxygen-deprived fog of Bucky’s mind. The only thing keeping Bucky standing was Steve’s unyielding body pressed against his.

“Thank you, Buck,” Steve muttered into his mouth, then dragged his lips down Bucky’s neck. “Can I—” He didn’t wait for Bucky to answer before Steve was shoving his hand down Bucky’s shorts to palm at his hard cock. “No boxers, Buck?” Steve teased, “Were you hoping for this to happen?”

“Mmm,” Bucky moaned as Steve quickly stroked up his length. “Maybe.” Truthfully, he had been horny since they had gotten to Martha’s Vineyard but Steve had hang-ups in the past year about not wanting to cheat on Peggy, so Bucky hadn’t pushed his luck.

He supposed that Steve’s resolve to remain faithful had gone right out the window now.

Multitasking skillfully, Steve slipped his other hand down the back of Bucky’s shorts, kicked his legs further apart with one foot, and continued marking up the column of Bucky’s neck, all while whispering filthy things against his skin. “Been teasin’ me all week, these little shorts, goin’ around shirtless. What’d you want, Buck? You wanted this?”

His fingers circled Bucky’s rim, only pressing lightly, not breaching his entrance. He pressed a knuckle against his perineum while still fisting his cock, swiping his thumb over the head with every stroke, making a mess with his precum.

“Fuck, Steve,” Bucky gritted out, grinding his ass back against Steve’s hand. “Please, yes, fuck,” he babbled nonsensically as Steve worked him, and in no time he was begging to come. Steve knew exactly how to work him.

“Yeah, Bucky, come for me,” Steve hissed. Bucky tilted his head up for a kiss and moaned his orgasm into Steve’s mouth. Steve kept stroking him as he came, sloppy and wet with each spurt of ejaculate. Steve kept touching him until Bucky was shuddering and pushing Steve away.

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed, running his hands through his hair to collect himself. “Fuck, Steve.”

Steve laughed, pulling his hand out and lapping at the mess on his palm and fingers, humming at the taste. “That was pretty good, huh?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too cocky.”

“Hey, we both needed to blow off a little steam,” Steve said, dipping his head to press his lips to Bucky’s jaw, just like their girl did to him not long ago. “The sex is best when it’s like this. You know it.” Then he gave Bucky a gentle kiss, loving and sweet, running his clean hand across Bucky’s waist. They kissed like that for a while before Steve pulled back. “We should get cleaned up.”

Bucky smirked. “Wanna shower together?”

“I suppose so,” Steve teased, “After all, she’ll be in her room for the rest of the day. We can take advantage of that.”

“Well you know the walls aren’t that thick. We need to keep quiet so she doesn’t hear us.”

Steve shrugged, kissing Bucky again. “I’m not too worried about that.”

Steve dragged Bucky upstairs and into the shower, and they stayed in Steve’s bedroom for the rest of the afternoon.

Once dinnertime rolled around, they cleaned up one last time and slipped out of Steve’s bedroom. They both went down the hall to her door. Steve knocked softly, and when they didn’t get an answer, they opened the door and glanced inside.

Her back was facing the door where she was sitting at a little blue desk pressed up against the window. It was still raining lightly, and she was working on something in front of her. She had headphones on, so she didn’t hear them come in.

They both snuck up behind her and looked over her shoulder. She was writing in a journal, one that they had seen her working on before. They knew the pages were filled with sketches and poetry and little blurbs that she wrote. The one she was working on had a little drawing of a cluster of sunflowers, the stems dropping down to frame the words she was writing.

She had always been artistic. Steve taught her when they were kids how to draw and paint. He was satisfied to know she still had that creative side in her.

She still hadn’t noticed them, so Steve dropped one hand on her shoulder abruptly. It startled her and she yelped, turning to look at them with wide, red-rimmed eyes. When she calmed down, Bucky slid the headphones from her ears.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky said, “Time for dinner. I was thinking spaghetti Bolognese. How ‘bout it?”

Her stomach growled at the mention of food. She was very hungry, not having had the chance to eat lunch before she was sent to her room. But something seemed different between her boys. She had heard weird noises earlier, and she had wondered what it was, but she didn’t want to risk another punishment by leaving her room. And now there they were, Steve’s arm slung around Bucky’s shoulders, almost too casually.

“What are those?” she asked, pointing to Bucky’s neck, where dark purple bruises lined his throat.

“We were wrestling earlier,” Steve answered for Bucky. Bucky smirked at the euphemism. “We both needed to blow off some steam.”

She was silent for a moment, considering them both, eyes flickering between them, like she was trying to figure out what was wrong. They were both looking at her with easy little smiles, eyes on her almost predatorily.

“C’mon, doll,” Bucky said, trying to disarm her, “We know you’re starving.”

Steve added, “We’ll even let you have a little wine with dinner.”

Something seemed to settle in her eyes, her shoulders relaxing, and she smiled. “Spaghetti Bolognese sounds good.” Nothing was wrong, nothing had changed. They had forgiven her for earlier—she had nothing to worry about.

She stood, and Bucky said, “Hey, wait a second.” His hand fell to the hem of her shirt. She had changed into a pair of athletic shorts and a faded blue t-shirt—one that was suspiciously familiar. “I don’t think this belongs to you, doll.”

A blush came over her face, but she smirked at him instead of seeming bashful. “Yeah, well. It looks better on me.”

He agreed, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. “Oh, you think so?”

Bucky’s hands slipped to the sides of her waist, and she tensed up again, because they both knew she was the most ticklish on her sides. Before she could try and stop him, he was digging his fingers in, tickling her as she squealed.

“Stop!” she gasped, moving away from him and into Steve’s waiting arms. Steve tightened his arms around her, holding her in place for Bucky to tickle, and they both laughed at her cries for help.

“You’re both evil!” she gasped through her laughter as she thrashed in their grip.

“Say uncle and we’ll stop,” Steve said evenly. She caved to him almost immediately, crying out uncle and begging them to stop.

When they let her go, she shot away from Steve, only to run into Bucky’s chest. He grabbed her around the waist and hauled her over his shoulder, making her screech again. Walking to the stairs with one hand resting on her upper thigh to keep her steady, he said, “Listen, you’re gonna eat everything on your plate since you didn’t have lunch.”

“You’re bossy.” She reached down to pinch his ass through his shorts.

In retaliation, he smacked the skin of her thigh, soliciting another shriek. “Don’t get handsy, doll, you won’t like the result.”

Steve watched on with amusement, following them downstairs.

As Steve tossed together a salad, Y/N brushed a loaf of ciabatta bread with garlic and olive oil and snuck tastes of the cabernet Bucky was using in the sauce. Once dinner was done, they sat down and enjoyed the food.

Steve had to admit that Bucky was a very good cook, but he would never say that to Bucky’s face. It would just feed his ego.

After dinner, they put on a movie, and Steve held her close to him as a way to apologize and make up for his anger earlier. As he sat there, with his girl in his arms and his boy at his side, he felt more content than he had in almost a year.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #dark!steve rogers #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #dark!bucky barnes #mcu #stucky #stucky x reader #fanfiction #brooklyn’s sweetheart

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cobalt-penguin · 4 years

Text

y’know what i’m still feeling annoyed and petty, plus i’m stuck inside and it’s storming out so why not type out a checklist of what everyone in TOW did to me.

since i am mean and manipulative, petty and pathetic, and so much more? why not bring up some old beef and give ya’ll something to eat.

Gansey: tried repeatedly to instigate drama -- if not actively break up -- my OC ships by encouraging -- through IC shenanigans -- cheating and lying. One of these happened while I was on vacation with my family and i still remember crying about it in a hotel bathroom because i thought one of my few ships in the RP was over and I hadn’t even been asked about it. This also included trying to get his OC Tomas to make IC/OOC (hey you can feign innocence when it’s in that dubiously OOC space, until its receptive in which case you can say it was IC the whole time!) at one of my ship partner’s OCs. Made repeated fat jokes at one of my fat characters (the same one they were clearly trying to get away from their partner...hmm...). Claimed I was always running to vague on my personal. Fair enough, I did, but they did the same thing. In poem form. Never answered my message about leaving the RP group because they felt ‘disrespected” by it. Repeatedly including untagged dubcon/noncon elements on the dashboard and triggering me. Lying to Ivy and me about having a full Overwatch party then trying to say “oh it just emptied you can join now”. hid this “FAR” idea from the rest of the RP community and then played coy when they got found out and asked about it by another anon (not me). Made fun of other RP groups in Tumblr tags then, when I asked them and their friends not to, was told “we’re a step above them.” Saying I was excluding them from things when I asked to play OW with them AND invited them to my horror RP group AND, only months beforehand, were inviting them to my Marvel RP??Trying to emotionally manipulate me through threatening to kill characters they had obviously grown tired of playing (probably because their major connections were to me and not their other friends) -- “haha i’m probably going to kill (my oc) idk but doesn’t that make you upset?? what will (your character) even do??” Engaging in nasty “”IC”” interactions with my character, basically telling me, through them, off, and being supported by the entire community in doing so. All of this really hurt me because I considered Gansey a friend and a major inspiration at one point in my life. Someone I non-jokingly looked up to and trusted. I feel like Gansey left TAR, our first RP group, because of how controlling, self-interested, petty, and mean-spirited the admins there were. That they were limiting other people’s creativity while building up their own narrative -- everyone else just there to be their audience. But you and Roman literally became Usa and Jen. Congrats. You lived long enough to become everything you’d rebelled against. And yes Gansey -- I saw all of your messages to everyone. Emotionally manipulating others -- telling them how terrible you are you don’t deserve their friendship, but would like to -- isn’t an apology. Its a tactic. Do better in the future. And despite me “blocking” you? There were a hundred ways to still reach out to me if that was what you really wanted. But let’s be real. It wasn’t. That was part of your gambit to. Goodbye.

Rosie: asked literally EVERYONE about what had happened with the ““TOW explosion”” except me. never even asked my side of the story. Rosie I don’t even get because the other admins treated her like shit -- making her do all the coding and technical components for the entire RP -- but she was still defending them to the end. Okay. And then to treat Shelly like utter SHIT even though Reyne was running her passive-aggressive mouth off about people who couldn't even defend themselves? Amazing. Yeah, she’s the bully. Your perspective was so twitested by your biases that you were ready to victim blame Shelly just because Reyne had to run at the sight of someone actually throwing their bulltshit back at them.

Reyne: Like Gansey, frequently indulged in cheating/cucking scnearios for fun -- again, including my own characters without asking or telling me. Don’t think Reyne ever apologized for this, IC or OOC. Dropped ships with me repeatedly -- leaving the group even -- without a word. Passive-aggressive to the max. Made a ship with Gansey just to play out her Teen Wolf OTP -- something that will never not be funny to me, when she called Gansey’s “character” Stiles. Smooth.

Frankii: Repeatedly dropped me and my characters from plots. Gave me one of the most hurtful comments of my RP community by essentially being like “maybe if your plots and characters weren’t so confusing than more people would want to RP with you.” Invited to join my horror RP group and never made a character. also told me this after Gansey wrote that enormous callout about me, that Roman piggybacked on while the getting was good: “also I'm not here to advocate on behalf of my friend but I really don't think Gansey was trying to be rude last night, they can come off a certain way when they're stressed.” COOL. The rest of Frankii’s message I really appreciated, at the time, but, surprise surprise, then despite us being “cool” they never spoke to me again.

Laura: I actually really liked Laura tbh but I guess she didn’t feel the same. Some of our interactions back in TAR were actually some of my favorites. I invited her to join my horror RP group and she never made a character. When I asked about this -- and if she needed any help making someone or wanted to leave -- she said she was working on it. Basically stonewalled me over time. Honestly though? Not a lot to say I actually think Laura is a good writer and pretty cool. Its just obvious who her friends were and I, stupidly, thought I was included in that.

Anna: Actually I really liked Anna too tbh but I guess I vastly overestimated our friendship? It happens. Dropped me from one of her plots -- after talking to me about including me in one of hers because she felt “obligated” basically, from being featured in my own -- without mentioning why or talking to me about it. Invited to join new RP -- refused (not mad about this, just making note of it). Refused to follow my new account when I lost my old one because “lol they’re such a furry”.

Roman: lmao where to even start. Roman was condescending and elitist literally from the beginning of TAR. barely acknowledged my existence until he had to.I started a plot with an open invitation to the entire RP group, with a deadline so I could start writing. Roman waits until its over and complains that they were left out. I include him anyway. Roman mocks the fact that I ask to tag or outright remove aphrodisiac dust -- because I don’t like seeing untagged dubcon/noncon on my dashboard, it upsets me a lot -- and then goes on a whole thread about it after I go to bed and can’t even defend myself. Apparently told his friends not to invite me to things because he doesn’t like me??? And then he has the nerve to be like communication is key and you can come talk anytime??? While having me on their public “friends” list with a description about me on his blog??? omfg...I literally can’t. To this day. Actually let this image speak for itself.

Everything Else: The repeated, childish treatment of strippers as immoral (””your character is stripping?? my character is so upset and is going to protect them!!”). The implication that characters who were stripping were also automatically sex workers. The continued references to my character, who owned this establishment, as being sleazy and manipulative. Also, honestly, what was with ya’ll adopting some random teenager into your OW groups? That was weird af. And then bringing some random person into TOW without asking anyone and trying to pull rank like “we’re the admin team and we can do whatever we want”. and shit-talking Meg and me in your “open forum” when all we wanted to do was get on with out lives. Like? Who cares? Ya’ll didn’t want me, at least, there anyway, clearly. You don’t get to exclude me then talk about how disrespectful and “wrong” the way I left was..........

Me: I didn’t do everything perfectly either. I know I could be passive-aggressive. I could be self-interested. I could make bitter comments. I dealt with feeling angry and upset by making memes -- which, I’m gonna be honest, I get why ya’ll were upset but I don’t regret either. I had spent so long in TAR/TOW with nobody interested in my characters and plots -- originally because I didn’t vid and played furries but, later, well.........see above -- that I did focus on my own narrative. I wasn’t invited to plots. I didn’t have sexy vampires and boy band werewolves. I played weird characters that didn’t fit the common niche of the cast of an angst and hookup filled supernatural YA novel. Maybe my plots were confusing but, honestly? It was because they were always going to be in the background. I wasn’t disinterested in anyone’s stories. I had just been left out of them for so long -- having to beg to even be a mention in a single mention -- that I had to make my own. I wasn’t there to just be an audience member to be aghast by Roman’s newest quirky boy or Gansey’s newest possessed twink. I was a writer. A member of the community. And, at the time? I thought a friend. Someone who deserved appreciation and respect.

I know who my true friends are now. We did, ironically, exactly what you did -- we have out own group, our own setting, our own community.

And I still live with the mean and manipulative things YALL said everyday. Even as an adult -- even with everything I’ve accomplished and am so proud of -- I’m still traumatized by being treated so poorly -- for years -- and not even realizing it. Something I’m still working on -- one of the many reasons I still have trust issues to this day. Congrats. That’s your legacy on me. aNYWAY

byeeeeeee

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80s-roger · 5 years

Text

affair pt2 - Dad!Roger x Fem!Reader

sorry for being absent but university started and I already am under pressure. however i wanted to make a part two of the “affair” one shot so take it.

note: I will make pt3 for the “a night to remember series”, it’s been requested.

here’s the link of part one, just click here

masterlist

word count: 1,574

warning: arguement but not spoiling anything (nvm i just spoiled)

summary: in this part, roger and you officially devorced. court decided about your child’s custody, obviously you would keep your little audrey but after roger’s immaturity towards you, you decided to ruin him by not letting him see your daughter often. you brought false charges against him so him seeing audrey was almost impossible. you came up with charges such as domestic violence, beating either you or the kid. he would never raise hand on both of you. you only wanted him to never see the kid. you put your ego against his loving relationship with your daughter just because you were extremely heart broken. it took you a lot of time to stand on your feet again, but still, your heart is made by glass. you cried every night missing him while he was out there touring and sleeping with god knows how many women. nonetheless, court gave him justice, letting him see the child twice a month. you weren’t satisfied and neither was he. today he would come at your home picking up audrey.

“Mama!” Audrey appeared at your room as you were getting ready to look beautiful and fresh to your ex husband, whom you still love like crazy.

“Yeah? What is it, love?” you smiled at her, ignoring all the heating moments you shared with Roger in the past, inside your head.

“Papa’s here!” she keenly shouted. Her excitement seeing her father twice a month made her love him more than you. She’s five now and she’s missing him so much. But you know why you divorced and she doesn’t

“Oh, how do you know that?” you asked trying to hide the interest in seeing him again and a small part of you breaking for one more time.

“He just parked his car and he’s about to knock the d-” You heard the bell ringing and she opened her mouth excited. “He’s here!” she yelled and ran downstairs to open the door.

“Papa!” you heard Audrey’s voice getting pitched after opening the door.

“My little baby, I missed you!” His voice was highly pitched than normal. You knew they hugged each other tightly. You wanted to interrupt their sweet moment just because he’s toxic to your mental health. “Where’s your mommy?” His voice was lower, you had to eavesdrop so you could hear him.

“She’s upstairs, getting ready.” She replied with no love at her voice. You just realised the damage you did to her, depriving her of seeing her father. And she’s been a daddy’s girl since day one of her life. “Can we go now, papa?” She asked, rushing to leave the house.

“Let me check on her baby. Sit here and I am coming in a few seconds.” You heard him and rushed to your bedroom again, fixing yourself, putting some lipstick on your lips. You had to play it cool but you’d break after reacing eye contact with him.

You felt his steps getting closer to the room you both used to share. His stuff are truly missing, everything feels empty without him. Even your soul. You were emotionally depended on him and didn’t want to admit it.

“Hey… Can I come in?” He slowly opened the door, checking on you from head to toe. You knew. You saw it from the mirror. You didn’t answer.

“I’ll come in. Your silence was always a yes.” he came inside and closed the door behind him. He sat on the bed, waiting for you to face him. You had to gather the strength you saved for yourself before turning your body to him. You could feel his eyes testing every part of you. Everything but your eyes, which they didn’t face him. “Are you happy?” There was a silence before asking you that. It was so sudden of him asking about your non existing happiness.

“Would you care, anyway?” You asked without moving a single muscle.

“Your happiness, affects Audrey so I do care.” He obviously cared more for Audrey. He is not wrong.

“Yes, I am extremely happy, I mean, I want to go out and scream it.” You mocked him and finally turned around. That would be a mental harassment.

“You’re lying. Audrey is not happy.” He stood up approaching you. Automatically, you stepped back. If he touched you, you’d melt. You’re already melting.

“Yeah because you’re a cheater. You didn’t respect your family. You were not loyal neither a loving husband. Tell me how can she be happy after all? She’s only five.” You immediately attacked him with words, trying to defend your emotions.

“Woah, easy there. You decided to disrespect my relationship with Audrey. You’re so afraid she’d choose me over you that you literally brought false charges to make me unable to see her every weekend!” He had to remain calm so Audrey, would hear none of your tones.

“You don’t deserve her after cheating on me for so long.” you crossed your arms and bit the bullet.

“Cheating on you, has nothing to do with Audrey. I don’t think you have the nerve telling her I fucked other girls while I was married to you.” He came closer to you, knowing already the effect he has on you.

“You said before, my happiness affects Audrey. So you mean, my mood reflects on hers. Fine, she’s as happy as I am, because of you, she’s not happy.” You were both ready to manipulate each other emotionally.

“So you’re so desperate that you use her as a shield?” He raised his eyebrow, coming really close. You were stepping back until you knocked yourself at the closet. He placed his arms next to your shoulders, unable to get out of the trap

“How can I be desperate? I want my kid to be hapy, not when you’re around us ruining our lives.” You protested.

“Audrey can’t be happy when I am not here. You are nothing but a selfish bitch, trying to keep me away from my child. You can’t do this.” His eyes were locked at yours. You could feel the heat among you. You could feel the anger and the passion beside you. You wanted to beg him to come back and be a happy family but not after being a national stock because of him.

“I am afraid I can. And I will do whatever it takes so you’ll never see her again. Have me capable of brainwashing her with false stories about you. You take me for a fool? I have done nothing yet.” You angrily threatened him but he didn’t buy it.

“Y/N, you are starting to piss me off right now. You know I’ve always had anger issues and I know you’ve always been emotionally depended on me so how about stopping it right here or things will get much worse?” he came closer to you. If you were married until now, you would both have some passionate sex.

“Are you threatening me?” You asked with your remaining strength before your sight would turn blur from tears.

“I am not threatening you. I am warning you. This is the first time I get to talk with you with no lawyers and your justice among us. You kept me far from you for two years do you really think I have the strength to control myself?” His warm breath reached your face and you really knew if you just looked at his lips he would lean in to kiss you. But stay high.

“You couldn’t control yourself for two months while on tour, are you joking?“You mocked him again and he literally lost it. He leaned in kissing you passionately, like he was thirsty for it. He seemed like desperate, as much as you were. He wouldn’t let go off you as his hands wrapped you in front his chest and then his hands were placed on your cheeks, deleting any space between us. "Rog-” You moaned between the kiss, trying to get away from his touch.

“Please, no…” He looked at you with begging eyes. “Let me say how much I need you back. I swear to you I never desired any woman as much as you…” He looked inside your soul, searching for that piece of love you still have for him.

“Roger, Audrey’s waiting downstairs, she may come up here and see us under this condition.” You ignored his words, those precious words you wanted to believe but you were scared. Scared he’d cheat on you again.

“Please let me back inside. Let us be together again.” He whimpered as he kissed you again.

“I-I can’t…” You looked down “I’m afraid.” Your past issues from the family you were raised hit you like a tsunami. Your naive mother let your father again in your house, after promising he had changed and missed us. But you were beaten up again and your mother was harassed again; mentally and sexually. Roger would never do that. You know it. But he would cheat again and you were scared of it.

“Afraid of what?” He looked at you concerned. He has never been so much loving to you before.

“Cheating on me again, I can’t handle it.” That’s it, tears fell down. You couldn’t keep them for too long. He saw you breaking in front of him and felt weaker than ever.

“I promise to everything and to everyone, I won’t cheat to you. After these two years I figured out how important you are to me. I won’t even refer Audrey. She’s the reason I breath.” He cleared your tears, trying to catch the eye contact you lost seconds ago.

“I know you love her. I don’t know if you love me. How the hell can I let you in if you don’t love me?” you cried, begging for his love.

“I am still trying to find out if I do love you. But I am sure that I need you. Really sure. But please, let us be together again. I was so desperate for a woman’s touch while I was on tour. I don’t know what was going on with me. I am sorry.” His apologise was nothing but a miracle. He can be really arrogant and selfish, that an apology from him is something rare. You had to believe him. You needed him and he needed you.

“You can move in again.” You simply said. “We have to reschedule the court then. Audrey will be very happy. But take her out now, it would be nicer if you told her you are back with us again.” You tried to smile as a sign of relief. But you couldn’t. You were neutral and waited for time to show its results.

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nutbanana · 4 years

Text

haha whewwwwwww sis slap zimzalabim gays hello laid ease ! name is yuno title is local ghosting legend pronouns r she/her nd we are stuck with nutbanana until i come up w a sexie url <3 this is gna be new for those of u who know me but i’m gna be putting everything into a read more for now instead of slapping 3 links nd calling it a day so hold my hand 😳😳 and for those of u who don’t know me i have two hands for a Reason haha,, nd my disco is @ daddy yankee#7776 ! add me let’s go feral nd if u wna plot send me ur favorite heart emoji here or on disco <3

* // 𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 … /𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙼𝙰𝙽/𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 : umeko saito, also known as hermes, is wanted for grand larceny. she is a twenty two year old female who has ties to the mastermind because of a charity event she was the face of. 𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 : expensive fancy dresses, flirty stares from across the room, signing with red lipstick, a glass of champagne with diamonds in it. 𝙳𝙾 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙵𝙾𝚁 : minatozaki sana.

01. background info.

pinterest board ─── umeko saito, twenty two, up-and-coming actress, doesn’t like to label her orientation, would definitely be part of cherry twitter

full list of aesthetics so far ( core to what shaped her ) : eating fruit on a balcony in your silk pyjamas, signing with red lipstick, strap of your dress snapping, flirty stares from across the room, a glass of champagne with diamonds in it, cherries seductively held between lips, expensive fancy dresses

umeko was born and raised into one of the most expensive neighborhoods in manhattan, daughter to a magnate and a socialité nobody thought would get too far together. luxury was the norm from the get go, and the low profile kept by her parents didn’t quite make their name go unnoticed among the elite of new york. summers were spent in the hamptons and on expensive trips, walk-in wardrobe stranger to everything below high-end and glasses of champagne coming in early

stardom was always in the back of her head. she loves being the center of attention, all eyes on her for as long as she can attrack them, and so the hunger only grew bigger the older she got. in her young, twisted mind, there wasn’t anything more eternal than the ineradicable link between character and actor, and she loves playing the role. the first real taste of fame came only a few years ago, and it became insatiable almost insantly. she’s been on the rise ever since and has scored quite a few big roles to be proud of

j came into the picture at a point in umeko’s life where she was having fun, but it wasn’t enough. something more exciting, more thrilling was missing. and so they met at a charity event where rich people feel like they’re contributing something to society by bidding big money for famous paintings where umeko was one of the faces of said event. she did not hesitate to join him. after all, it makes her feel like she’s playing an even bigger, more dangerous role

her code name has a lot to do with her as a person ! as a lil taste before getting to it, initially, it was going to be loki, the most infamous trickster, but she felt it gave too much away too fast, and although she felt it was the perfect code name, she opted for someone whose trickster label got overshadowed by more important duties, and so it came to be hermes, who, in a way, is also perfect for her

02. personality breakdown.

umeko is........ an experience. she may be fun she may be chaotic

umeko saito’s biggest role is life itself, and she will die a legend or risk becoming a fraud. she was born yearning for attention, and she was born a trickster. she has always been manipulative, loved fooling and playing with people and twisting the narrative of herself, enamouring ( trapping ) others, a strange desire to be the dream girl. and she took it upon herself to make the world her personal stage. and maybe she has played the role for so long she has lost a bit of herself on the way, who knows !

everybody’s sweetheart, looks like a saint ─── yet is the devil holding a halo above their head. she loves to stir shit up, always up to something. won’t hesitate to create a scene if it’s needed, asked of her or solely because she’s bored. a lot of her boils down to being, getting bored. she’s a bit batshit, a bit unhinged <3

umeko is flirty. she likes to flirt, it’s fun, it’s another way to fool people, it’s entertaining, it feeds onto this being the girl of people’s dreams thing. it gets her things and opens ways for her, and she thrives off getting people hooked on her, specially men who think they got a chance with her ( they don’t )

she acts like a bimbo and surely looks like it but may not be one. or maybe she is. she could be a baby bimbo. an oblivious bimbo who plays the role of bimbo in real life. you decide because i can’t JKDGVDS

she’s dramatic to the v bone in more ways than one, loves bringing attention to herself and playing dumb, playing clumsy, an airhead, and she’s a bit of everything ( dumb, clumsy, airhead ), but she knows how to exaggerate it to her gain. u won’t catch her calling herself any of that tho

there really isn’t a big scheme, a big story, a trauma behind umeko’s behavior, some people are simply born certain way and she thrives off being this antagonistic, trickster being just because

03. headcanons.

she lives by herself in a duplex penthouse located on the top floor somewhere in manhattan, she bought it with her first big paycheck. she also has a smaller ( to...... her standards ) apartment she got for her 18th birthday from her parents, and it’s where she takes flings or people who aren’t that close to her as not to disclose her real home

she’s the type to break the strap of her dress before walking out of a store with paparazzis waiting outside for her and pose like she’s marilyn monroe fighting against a burst of air with her white dress, and she’s like “omg no ! the strap of my snapped ! what to do ! don’t take pics or maybe do aha x”

most definitely checks tabloids and stuff after she pulls one of those numbers to grab attention so she can see the reactions And the pics. also probably has a neat instagram feed

she’s the epitome of “all girls do is 🥺🥺🥺🥺” and “girls always trynna ‘🥺🥺🥺‘ their way out of everything”. that’s her

loves cute two pieces pyjamas. silk ones, velvet ones, lace ones, and especially the see-through robes with fur you pair up with cute lingerie and pieces. when at home she’s usually in those, long robe big fur glass of wine in hand, and if not she’s wearing an expensive baddie dress she has no business wearing for no reason

she enjoys dating on and off, having flings, random sex. usually nothing too serious and without too many strings to get tangled in. would she be able to commit ? yes, probably, she daydreams about it sometimes, but it wouldn’t be so easy

despite umeko’s passion for creating a scene and stirring up the pot, she isn’t mean, nor is she someone who is found in conflicts or fights often, if at all. she tends to get along well with everyone ─── she’s playful, a bit crazy, and fairly outgoing. she’s nice despite all her antics. but there is one person that brings out the worst of her, though: nandy freda richardson, fellow new york city socialité with a shared feud going twenty years strong ! they have known each other since they were little and it has kept escalating ever since 💔 it ranges from petty, insignificant antics to more serious, real shit stuff. the catalyst ? nandy somehow managing to make umeko lose a minor role on a small movie she was really anticipating. umeko’s response ? selling her out to aspen when he came asking for more intel on rich people he could rob: she gave him all the information he needed, carefully crafted a foolproof plan then gifted aspen an all - expenses luxury vacation to a destination of his choice <3 umeko was like yeah ? ok i lose my role and you lose your safety money and that one of a kind dress i wanted aha x

when she was sixteen her then boyfriend cheated on her with some chick. the lad pulled the infamous move of playing single and messing with the girl’s heart, so she was unaware of their relationship and was left as mortified as umeko. umeko, though, felt humiliated and, above everything, disrespected, and she also felt for the other girl who was just as much a victim as herself. so umeko made sure he regretted even thinking of disgracing their worth and set for revenge: over the span of a few years she snatched five consecutive girlfriends, one after the other <3 she also kept a good relationship with the girl he cheated on her with

#nocte:intro #i always start writin my intros @ dick in the morning nd then This happens .#wht if i become a y*outuber nd make tht my opening line . what do we think ladies #i woke up this morning nd decided i hated most of wht i had written so i had to restart <3

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doyoungbunnyagenda · 5 years

Text

Atlantis

Mermaid!Reader X Sailor!Jongdae

Genre: A mix of fluff and angst,but with a happy ending.

Length: 7.9k+ (Wow)

Warnings: Mentions of death

A/N: how long has it been since I last posted a fic? Idk anymore but this is finally here! Inspired by The Little Mermaid so get ready for Disney level fluff and angst. Also I’m on mobile so I couldn’t put read more. Once I figure out how I will. Hope you enjoy and sorry for the inconvenience.

All he could see was black, as he floated to the bottom of the ocean. He tried to breathe but it was to no avail. He tried to open his eyes but that was in vain as well. His world had shattered right before his eyes and was about to end as well. His body stopped the fight to try and stay conscious. He fell asleep for what he thought was going to be eternity. This was the end for him. Or so he thought...

You heard the ship crash. You heard the panic, screams and tears. The debris sinking down to the bottom, with the ship that once stood proudly on the seas. Then you saw him. He looked helpless. Shirt ripped and tattered. Blood coated his hands and face. His body descending into the depths of the ocean. You couldn’t leave him like this. Even if you were going against your strict father’s wishes, you wanted to help. Carefully, you gathered him in your arms and swam up to the surface, your purple tail slightly poking out. You laid him on the hot sands and waited for him to wake up. You thought it was maybe too late and he had already kicked the bucket. You had no knowledge on how to revive humans so you just stared at him. His blonde hair damp and all over the place. His eyes shut tight. After sometime, he started to regain his consciousness and awaken. The first thing he saw was your orbs boring deep in his soul, tracing his frame.

“The ship.” He murmured, looking at the sand, “ Where am I?”

He looked at your and saw your tail.

“What are you?!” He said, “Get away from me!” He tried to get up, but staggered down to the sand in pain.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help you, even.” You said in a soft reassuring tone. You gave him a small smile hoping that would calm him as well.

“You’re a mermaid?” He asked, cocking his head to the side slightly.

“ Yes, I am.” You replied

“I still can’t believe it. I’ve met a mermaid.” He said loudly, showing of his bright pearly white smile in the process. You swear that smile could kill a person. It was that infectious.

“I’ve heard bad things about your kind. Like how you are all manipulative cheats and how you are all good for nothing. But you don’t seem to bad.” He explained.

“Same on my side.” You said, “ They say humans are evil and all they want to do to is kill our kind. I’m actually disobeying my father by talking to you. In the mer world any contact with humans is forbidden.” You laughed a bit at your similar situations.

“Jongdae.” He said reaching his hand out.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you Jongdae.” You returned his hand shake.

You enjoyed Jongdae company, finding his loud and quirky personality appealing. Every time he laughed, you ended up laughing. He had this positive energy radiate off of him, you had never felt another mer-person have. You felt with him like you could faced anything. You felt complete with him. You guys just clicked. It was shame when your conversation was interrupted. Someone walked on to the beach and looked in your direction. You quickly hide behind a rock, trying not to be seen.

“Jongdae!” The man shouted, “Look at the state of you! We better get you to a hospital.” He had a sympathetic look expression as he lifted Jongdae up and supported him while walking. Jongdae turned his head round, to see you. He mouthed a silent thank you and walked away from the beach. “Until we meet again.” You hear him quietly say. The sky was now an light orange with the sun slowly sinking down below the sea. You also decided it was getting late to head back home. Diving your head back into the water, you swam back home. On your way someone called your name.

“Y/N, where have you been?” It was your friend Kibum . “I was waiting for you all day.”

He complained. Kibum then saw the smile on your face and knew that something had happened.

“Why are you smiling like that?” He questioned, “What happened?”

You decided to open up to your best friend as you knew you could trust him. He would keep your secret safe for sure.

“I.. Umm saved a human from drowning.” You said wearily.

“Y/N.” He sighed,”Why? You know how much trouble you would be in.”

“But I had to! He was going die if I didn’t!” You tried to argue.

“I just don’t want you to get into trouble. I’ve seen how bad your dad gets when he’s angry.” Kibum voiced his concern. He was always worried for you, which you could always appreciate.

“I know, but he doesn’t have to know.” You said with a hint of mischief.

“Are you implying what I think?”

“ Just please don’t tell anyone,Kibum, please, just for me?” You tried to convince him.

“Fine, you know I can’t resist.” He finally gives in. “ But you have been warned.” He said and swam away. You didn’t see what was so wrong with humans. You saw one up close and he was fine, nice even. You swam back home only to meet your father outside the cave door.

“Would you look at the time.” Your father said sarcastically,”What were you doing, that made you stay out so late?” He knew something was different about your demeanour, you were being skittish and hesitant. “Answer my question!” He demanded. Kibum wasn’t lying when he said your father gets angry quickly. He can go from 1 to 100 in a second, always scaring you. “I’ll give you 5 seconds to answer, if you don’t answer things will become serious.” He threatened you.

“1...... 2.....3......4-“

“ I was with a human, okay!” You said as you tensed up. You thought there was no point trying to hide it anymore, it was better to get it done and over with. Maybe he would understand this time.

“A HUMAN!” Your father shirked, “Out of all the things to do you decide to be with a human!”

“He was going to die, I had no choice!” You retorted.

“Not only did you engage contact with a human but also saving one as well?” Your father said, “Y/N you are such a disappointment, I have done nothing but raise you the best I can and then you go and bring shame to me!”

“No wonder mum left you, she must have felt trapped! Suffocated. You give me no space to breathe. Maybe that’s how she felt as well!” You said in the heat of the moment,with tears pricking your eyes and clouding your vision, not fully processing what would happen next. You mum has rarely been mentioned as she left when you were small. Your dad had never mentioned her, maybe because it hurt to much.

“How dare you disrespect me like that. That’s it go to your room. You’ll be lucky if you ever see the light of day again.” He said coldly, pointing to the door of your room. You knew you had gone to far, but he called you a disappointment. A disappointment, he was crossing the line to. You just silently obeyed his order with a scowl on your face. You swam to your room, once there you finally allowed yourself to cry. You felt as this was injustice, he didn’t even give you chance to explain that Jongdae was a nice person, who meant no harm. Humans weren’t as bad as he thought. Mer-people were no different to humans in your eyes. You wondered if you were the only mermaid to have this point of view. Everyone else around you seemed to despise man kind. You just couldn’t wrap your head around everything. Eventually, you drifted to sleep dreaming of Jongdae, the cute sailor boy you had meet earlier that day and how you yearned to see him again.

Weeks you spent cooped up in your house, no matter how hard you pleased your dad he refused to let you go out. It was miserable. All you could do was stretch your fins and swim around your room. Staying inside also didn’t help your feelings for Jongdae. You hadn’t seen him in days but you fell harder and harder for him. *That smile. That damm smile.* You know it sounds cliché, but you couldn’t help it. He was perfect to you, an absolute angel. You knew your feelings could only lead to bad things, as your father was fuming at you just for taking to him. However, no matter what you’re brain tells you, you will always follow your heart. Your heart wanted Jongdae. Interrupting your reverie, your heard bang on your window, breaking the lock preventing it from opening. You looked outside, only to see Kibum , splashing his yellow tail around.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing!?” You shouted in a low voice as it was late.

“Trying to get you out of that cave,” he replied sarcastically.

“What happened to *you must listen to your father *.” You rolled your eyes.

“Forget about that.”Kibum said,”Anyway I have much more important news to tell you, but you need to be down here for that.”

“Ugh, fine.” You carefully opened the window and left the room you’ve been locked in for weeks. You swam down to the sea bed where Kibum.

“So what did you want to tell me?” You asked in a whisper.

“I know how you can turn human.” He said. “WHAT!” You shouted but quickly covered your mouth soon after. “Turns out it’s not that hard, it’s simple even.”Kibum said. “What do I have to do then.” You said a lot quieter this time. “Turns out all you need to do is walk on land.” He replied. “That really is simple, how did you find out?” You questioned. You were always told that if mer-people stepped on the sand of the other world you would die. Your soul too pure to handle the filth of the human world. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know, I went to some pretty sketchy places to find out that, perhaps a little bribery as well.” He said slyly. If what Kibum is saying is true, why would they make up this lie. Are they trying to hide something? Is this something we are even supposed to know? Some deep truth locked behind the walls of secrecy for millennia? Of course Kibum was the only one who could get this kind of information. You rolled your eyes and sighed at your friends antics. “Let’s not waste any time and go the surface to try it out.” You said.

The both of you swam up to the shore, feeling the sun’s rays beat down on you. The scorching hot sand against your fingers tips was quite a contrast with the slight chill of the ocean. “The only thing you may have to worry about is the heat. As it human summertime, You’ll have to take more water breaks than usual, but apart from that you’ll be fine.” Kibum explained. “Wait you’re not coming with me?.” You said. “Nah, I rather stay here where it’s cooler, I don’t wanna to deal with heatstroke.” Kibum remarked. “So you are saying that we could die of heatstroke, but still sending me up here!” You exclaimed. “Y/N,honey, I’m doing you a favour here! I saw those *doe* eyes you had after you came back from saving him.” He snapped back,imitating the look on your face. He* did *have a point. You chuckled slightly then looked around the beach. Your eyes found the figure of a man. You looked harder and found it to be Jongdae. He looked much healthier now, his cheeks fuller and blood-free. Scars now replaced the once massive cuts and wounds that adorned his cheek bones and callloused hands. His expression looked lifeless though as he stared out to the seeming never ending ocean. “Kibum, look over there, that’s Jongdae.” You pointed to him, sitting on a rock not that far away from you. “Ooooh, he’s cute, but looks a bit lost, maybe you can cheer him up.” He patted you on the back and signaled you to lie on the sand. You followed his instructions and lifted yourself upon the sand, waiting in anticipation of what might happen. You felt a weird tingling sensation in your tail and you shut your eyes tight, hoping for the best. When you opened them again your shimmering purple tail transformed into a pair of legs. You gasped as you looked down at them, you did still see a few purple scales but you didn’t care. You were now wearing a purple skirt instead. After a few attempts, you managed to stand up and walk.

“Wow, girl you look amazing!” Kibum screamed,” Now go get your man, I’ll be waiting for you when the suns down!” You waved him off, watching him disappear in the aqua sea. It was time to see what these legs could do as you walked over to Jongdae, tripping on the way. You lightly tapped his shoulder, making him turn around and look at you.

“Y/-N...” He stuttered, with a look of pure confusion on his face. “It’s me.” You confirmed with a smile. His expression then turned to once of happiness and bliss as he engulfed you into a hug. “What happened to your tail?” Jongdae said, with his lips curving up in a genuine smile. “I found out how to turn myself human.” You answered. “Why, I liked your tail,” he smirked. “Because I wanted to see you again.” You looked down the ground to try and hide the evident embarrassment on your face. “Don’t look down, your cute when your shy,” He said laughing a bit. That didn’t do anything but worsen your flustered state. Jongdae laughed a bit louder this time and used his hand to lift up your chin so your now facing him. “Are all mermaids this cute?” He gushed and booped your nose. “Hey don’t do that.” you said while covering your nose. He whined and pouted at your defiance. “Why don’t you let me take you around the city? Don’t worry it will be fun.” Jongdae offered.

You accepted quickly and grabbed on to his hand as he lead the both of you out of the beach. Your heart was racing and a shot of adrenaline rushed through you. You knew your dad would kill you but you didn’t care what he had to say any more. You were happy and safe with Jongdae. Even in the short time you had known him in, you know he could never hurt you. If he was really out for you he would have killed you by now, right? But you trusted him and he trusted you. While walking he turned back and looked into your eyes. “Everything all right, you’ve been really quiet back there.” He said concerned. “I’m fine, I’m just excited.” You said with a reassuring smile. “Oh good, I’ll take to a place I know you’ll like.” He replied.

Those eyes that held the galaxy. That stare that caught your attention every time. That smirk that could make anyone feel weak to their knees. That laugh that lights up the earth. You were getting addicted to everything about him. He was the breath of fresh air you needed. A chance to show how adventurous you could be ,without your father’s restrictions. You could finally have fun with your life. Jongdae was the perfect person to let out that side of you to. He was fun and explosive, the type anyone would warn you, to stay away from as they might seem like a bad influence. But Jongdae has this aura that surrounds you and suffocats you in the best way possible. You were intoxicated with Jongdae’s appearance and personality and you couldn’t get enough. You would take any chance to get to know him better and this was your time. But you didn’t get ahead of yourself, knowing he definitely won’t feel the same, or did he?

In the hot midday sun, you and Jongdae walked, hand in hand, down the pavement leading off of the high street. You were to busy looking around in curiosity to notice that you had stopped in front of a store, until Jongdae nudged your shoulder.

“Come inside, i know you’ll love it!” He exclaimed. You were a bit apprehensive about it but you trusted Jongdae and you knew he could never hurt you. He could never have it in him. The man led you into a vast shop filled with shelves upon shelves of books.

“A library!,” you shouted. Jongdae was quick to cover your mouth with his hand and put his fingers on his plush lips, signalling that you should be quiet. You mumbled a quick a sorry in embarrassment. “We have these as well.” You said whisper shouting this time.

You’ve always wanted to learn about the human history and customs but,of course, anything to do with humans is strictly forbidden. You still wondered how Kibum got that book.

“See I knew you’d love this place!” Jongdae said with his smile beaming as bright as sun rays and eyes crinkling into moon crescents.”I guess you’d want to go into the history section. You know to read up about stuff?” He scratched his head. “ Or would you like to read some fiction, I have some good recommendations?”

“History,” you said and let him lead you through the seemingly endless isles of texts and stories. Jongdae gestured his hand towards a certain line of book, saying you should choose some. You stared in awe at the selection of things to read. In the end you decided to reach your hand out and pick a book on the bottom right side. You swiped of the dust on the worn spine and carefully flipped so you could see the front cover. It said “History of the Myth of Sirens”

“What are Sirens?” You questioned Jongdae. “Ahh them....” he looked a bit troubled and hesitant to answer you. “ What are they Jongdae.” You asked a bit more firm this time. He noticeably took a deep breath and continued, “Remember when I told you about how bad the human world think mermaids are. How they are liars and manipulators?”

“Yeah,” You replied,recalling the conversation when you first met Jongdae. “That’s basically what a siren is. It is said that their voice are so beautiful that they can hypnotise even the strongest willed person. Once they have them under their spell, it said that the sirens lure them to their inevitable deaths.” You gasped. “Don’t worry, not many people believe of there existence anymore, anyway you’re living proof that the myth is false.” He tried to reassure you.

“It all sounds so familiar...” you said deep in thought trying to recall the memory. “ I remember, when I was young seeing an older mermaid swim up to the surface. Because I was young and naive I followed her. The girl started to sing to a boat near the shore. A ma-n. He fell out...” your voice fell quiet as the story got harder and harder to tell without bursting into tears. Jongdae quickly came by your side, tugging you into a comforting embrace. You sighed trying to regulate your breathing. “ He-e swam-m towards us.” You felt your tears, as salty as the ocean you came from, trickle down the apples of your cheeks and landing on Jongdae’s shirt. “You don’t have to continue if it’s too hard Y/N. I won’t force you to do anything.” He said softly, his words light like air.

You shook your head building up all the strength you had in your heart to continue. “The girl dragged the man into the water.....” you breathed in,” The next thing I saw was b-blood in the water...” You allowed more of the salty substance to fall down your cheeks. You saw a wet patch on Jongdae’s shirt where all your tears had landed. You rested your head on his chest seeing if his heartbeat could calm you. He soothing rubbed your back as if you were a child. “ When she saw me, she told me not tell anyone, not a single soul.” You said as you looked up at Jongdae. “If she could do that to someone, she could do the same to me or anyone else I know. I was so scared.” You whispered. “Hush now.” He replied, continuing to rub your back. “It’s okay now, I’m here.” “Was I the first person you told that too?” He asked voice still soft.

You nodded your head. “I could never trust that information with someone else. My best friend has a kinda big mouth, he could reveal the secret.” Your expression lightened at the thought of Kibum while you chuckled a bit. Jongdae’s feature’s lifted immediately after He saw you laugh. “And my dad is well my dad, he doesn’t take well to these type of things.” You started to lighten up again and a small smile finally returned to your face. “That’s what I like to see.” Jongdae gushed,” You’re really cute when you smile.” You quickly looked down at your feet in pure embarrassment. It looked like he felt the same way about you but you didn’t want to test your luck. Your heart rate rapidly increased and you soon felt tongue tied. He must have said this to so many other people you thought trying to convince yourself you weren’t special in his eyes.

“I have another story to tell y’know,” you said trying to change the subject. “Okay shoot.” He replied. “We were always told a story about a group of mermen and mermaids who went on the shore and met a human. They never returned.” You continued,” Something about that story always seemed fake to me. It was branded like a fairy tale instead of the fact it was claiming to be. Like a myth.” “Maybe both of our worlds are lying about something to us.” Jongdae added. “We are more similar than we think, only if the people back home think about you and your kind the way I do.“ You remarked.

“Yeah,” He answered his voice a bit rough , a contrast to his normally soft tone, as started into the other direction. His grip tightened your waist as his gaze was fixated in the other direction. You look to your left and saw a man ,who looked a bit older than Jongdae, with dark brown hair and glasses at the end of his nose, scowl at you and walk out of the library. “Who was that?” You pointed at the door he walked out from. “No one special,” he spit coldly. You were taking aback at his sudden chance in demeanour. The once sparkle in his eyes had changed to a look of what seemed like pure spite. “Just hang close to me okay. I don’t what you near people like that. When I talked to him about you, you wouldn’t want to hear what he said.” You nodded, walking out of the store with him.

You were now back outside, walking in the scorching sun. It was at times like this you dearly missed the ocean. How the water felt against your skin and scales. The refreshing salty air and how it felt cool it felt on a hot day like this. Even if you talk bad about it a lot, it’s your home. You were getting tied of walking on land with legs. It could never compare to the thrill of swimming in the ocean. There you were free but here you were... For a lack of better words lost, letting the man you trust so dearly lead you around. You tightly held on to his hand, making sure to try and keep up with his fast pace. But after going through shop after shop you started to feel weak. Your lips were getting dryer and a faint headache you had earlier was becoming almost unbearable. It was getting harder and harder to keep your body up straight. Jongdae saw your face getting paler by the second and decided to sit you down for a rest.

“Y/N, what’s wrong,” he said worry evident on his face. As he got nothing but a few whimpers from you in response, he got more scared. “Are you hungry,sick,tired.?” He pressed. Somehow you managed to feel all of those at once, creating the most horrible feeling you had ever felt. “Thir-“ was all your lips were able to make out before Jongdae quickly completed your sentence. “Thirsty, you’re thirsty!” He exclaimed.”How was I so dumb to not notice.” He put himself down. “Hang in there, okay Y/N.” Like you were glass, he carefully picked your frail body up and made you lay ,face up, in his arms. You could barely remember what happened in the span of time when Jongdae and what’s and and you were in the water. Everything else was just a mindless blur. All you could remember was Jongdae occasionally looking down at you telling you he was sorry and it would be okay, as your body struggled with the fight of consciousness.

You don’t know how long he was running for, but when your legs and face were finally submerged in water again, you felt alive. A familiar tingling was felt in your lower half and your legs were turning back into your beautiful purple tail. You felt strong enough to finally sit up and face the man who saved you. “I’m so so sorry.” He apologised,” Do you feel better now? Do you need anything? I should have noticed the symptom-“ He was about to start a tangent before you cut him off. “Don’t be sorry, I should be the one saying sorry for putting you through that mess. Anyway I’m fine now and if it wasn’t for you who knows what would’ve happened.” You praised him. He smiled sweetly feeling his cheeks getting warmer because of your compliment. “Thanks Y/N. If you are feeling better, would you like to see the fireworks with me today? It’s okay if you want to go home now, but I think it would be really nice to watch as the sun goes down.“ He asked a bit timidly. “Yeah that would be amazing.” You answered, equally as quiet.

“Okay then let’s get a good spot people will start to gather soon.” He said his words full of joy. You noticed the sky was turning an orange colour, with the sun slowly making it’s descent under the sea. Kibum said you should be back by sun down. You decided to make an exception just this time. He wouldn’t mind. You felt the sand between your feet again, as your tail morphed into legs. Jongdae grabbed your hand again, leading up towards the venue above the beach. You guys sat on a table close to the middle giving you the perfect view of the shore line and the aqua waves rolling through.

Waiting for the firework show to start, you guys made small talk going deeper into your lives and up bringing. Even if it had only been less than two days, you guys acted as if you had known each other for years. You and him clicked almost immediately when you first met. You had a chemistry with him that you had never felt with anyone else. Every time he looked at you ,your heart would do flips and your stomach would be filled with butterflies. When you were with him you felt complete, like a he was your missing piece. Were you in love? No, you tried to convince yourself. It was to early, you can’t fall in love in two days. Anyway he was a human, you were a mermaid, you could never be in love. Wasn’t he supposed to kill you by now? You’re head was hurting as everything you ever learnt about him and his kind started not to make sense anymore. It all was so wrong but so right. He completed you in ways no one ever had but he couldn’t be yours. The universe would never allow that. Mum if only you were here to tell me what to do you thought to yourself.

”It’s starting!!” Jongdae squealed excitedly, interrupting your reverie. You looked ahead at the now charcoal-black night sky. Bright orange and red sparks flew into the air, bursting as if they were dying stars. The colours dotted the sky like a constellation. Nothing as breathtaking as this was possible in the ocean. In awe you stared at the display, concentrated on the rise and fall of every firework as it fizzled out into the night sky. Jongdae ,on the other hand, had his gaze fixated on you. The way your eyes lit up when you heard the boom of each explosion. The way your smile shined brighter than any of the fireworks out there. Maybe it was just the light from the show, but he thought you looked stunning. You always looked amazing to him, but today there was something different. He noticed how much he cared for you when you cried earlier today, how protective he was over you. How terrified he was when you almost fainted in his arms. How scared he was to lose you.

He liked you.

It all made sense now. When he didn’t see you for a while after you both first met, something felt empty. He felt cold, maybe it was just him feeling weird after the shipwreck but he felt lifeless. At the time he didn’t realise what he felt, but he does now. He loved you. It had only been a day or two but he had never been so sure about something in all his years of living. But how would he tell you. You were this ethereal goddess to him, while he was just a normal sailor. You deserved the whole universe,he couldn’t offer that. He had nothing while you had everything to offer. You could never love him back or so he thought.

“Y/N,” He said in the softest tone you had ever heard. You looked at his face he looked a bit distraught. “Yes, is anything wrong Jongdae.” You replied worriedly. “Nothing. I’m fine. I mean-“ He deeply inhaled and exhaled before continuing. “When we first met, how did you find me? Did I wash up on shore or did you save me?” “The latter. You reminded me of that man, I couldn’t let the same thing that happened happen again. I was older so I could do something this time. I didn’t know your exact condition but I think you blacked out.” You finally told him. “You saved my life...” he whispered looking deeply into your orbs and taking your chin into his calloused hands. You felt your cheeks get warmer at the closeness. His eyes were boring deep into yours, as if they were searching for answer of some sort. “And you saved mine.” You murmured, with all the air left in your lugs.

Without even doing anything Jongdae made you feel breatheless. It was as if time passed slower the longer you stared at him. Your breathing became heavier and more irregular as he started to close the distance between your two faces. “So I returned the favour.” He mumbled into your ear while finally pressing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss. Fireworks flew up in the sky as you kissed back. The moment was magic. What any girl dreams of. You felt as if you were in a fairytale. All of this too good to be true. You felt as if you would soon wake up and face your old reality. But this was your new reality, your new life. You don’t know how you lived before you met him, but now you can’t go on without him.

He slowly pulled away and giggled like a child. “Thanks for everything today.” “I should be saying that, this has truly been one of the best days of my life.” You replied a bit sadly knowing you’d have to go soon. You left poor Kibum waiting a few hours to long. “Someone’s waiting for me back down there, I have to get going,” “It’s alright, may you have the sweetest of dreams.” You smiled at his cheesiness and started to walk back down to the ocean. “Till we meet again my love,” he spoke softly but still loud enough for you to hear as you walked away from him. You divided into the ocean and swam back to the place you last met Kibum. The hole in your heart now filled by the sailor but who had truly won you over.

“Hey Y/N!” Kibum shouted from the sea floor below. “I was getting worried I had sent you to your death up there.” But when he took a look at your face, his tone and demeanour changed from serious to light hearted. “Wait something good happened up there, really good. You have that love sick smile. Tell me~” he whined begging you to explain. “He kissed me Kibum! Kissed me.” You cried happily, helplessly in love. “That’s why you took so long.” He laughed heartily. Everything in that moment felt so perfect, until you remembered your father. You had been gone for a few hours, you sunk out. What if he found out about what you were doing? What would he make of you or Jongdae? A look of horror appeared on your face. “Everything alright?” Kibum asked,a bit taken aback. “My father what about him,does he know about where I’ve been? Did you tell him? What if he found ou-.“ Kibum put a finger on your lips hushing you. “I would never tell him what really happened, do you think I want to die as well?” He stated,”He just thinks you went for a sleepover at mine, he trusts me. Definitely more than he trusts you.” Both of you laughed at the situation, in front of you. “Let’s go to mine where you can tell me everything that happened.” Kibum said and you nodded excitedly, impatient to tell your best friend everything that happened that day.

You spent the rest of the night, talking and acting out your time with Jongdae, how he was so sweet and kind when he talk to you. How he saved your life. Kibum occasionally put in this own thoughts and comments but for the most part stayed quiet, too enraptured in the story to say anything. The night was filled with laughter and gasps of shock. After what felt like hours of messing around, both of you decided to call it a night and let the land of sleep take over your bodies. Jongdae’s words from earlier that day rung in your ears as you drifted into a deep slumber. May you have the sweetest of dreams. And that you did.

Everyday after that one felt as if you started anew. Turned over a new leaf. You couldn’t remember that last time you felt this amount of happiness and contentment. It all felt like a dream. With him was just pure bliss. This was the man you wanted to spent the rest of your days with and with every passing month and changing season, you became more sure of that. Life was perfect. he was perfect. You would change nothing about him. Jongdae complimented your personality so perfectly it was a miracle you even found him in the first place. You were on cloud nine,your heart soaring like a dolphin jumping out of water.

But in your bubble of bliss, you didn’t notice your behaviour changing. Unknown to you, your father noticed your change in mood. You went from just fine to extremely happy. Every time he tried ask what was making you so happy, you became cold and didn’t give a clear answer. At first he wasn’t complaining, he loved to see his little girl so happy. But as you spent more and more time away from home, not returning for weeks at a time, he became extremely worried. Your father wasn’t putting up with Kibum’s subpar excuses anymore. The boy thought he was being slick telling him you had gone to an extra long sleepover with one of your other friends. Yeah right. He Kibum would never give him a decent answer so he decided to find out for himself.

One day when you told him you were leaving, he waited for you to leave the house and then follow you. It quickly became obvious you weren’t going to a friends place. One part of him wanted to call you back down, right this instant but he wanted to see what you would normally do. He was terrified when he saw you swim up to the surface and swim to dry land. He felt as if though he had failed as a father. Everything he had taught went out of your ear, appearing as if though you never listened to him at all. When he saw you run into the arms of a human boy that was what made his blood surge through him. He clenched his fists out of pure anger. How could you deceive him like this. Make him look like a fool, every time you went outside not telling him that you were going to meet the once race he despised the most. His stomach churned when he looked at both of you so content tangled in each other’s arms. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be and he needed to show the both of you that.

“Y/N, what on earth do you think your doing !” He shouted from the water, startling you and Jongdae,turning to face where you father is. When you heard his voice a look of pure horror appeared on your face. All your worst nightmares came true right before your eyes. In your head you cursed Kibum for not trying to hold him off, for at least one more day. “Dad.” You said your voice barely above a whisper, terrified of what he would do to you or Jongdae. “So is that your friend you’ve been seeing for all these months?” He questioned, pointing his finger at Jongdae. Both of stayed quiet, scared to say anything in case you might anger the beast anymore than you already have. “But it’s obviously more than a friendship. I can’t believe you fell for one of those monsters. Out of everyone you just had to pick him ,didn’t you.” He spit enraged. “He will eat you alive, share you with all his friends. He will kill you Y/N. I could never live knowing my only daughter, child at that, would die at the hands of a human. It would kill me.” You finally decided to speak up and say,” I know how you feel dad, that human’s are all evil and trouble. But believe me when I tell you that Jongdae’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met mer or human. He could never hurt me and I’m sure of that.” You saw Jongdae smile at all the sweet things you just said about him but it soon faded when your father started to speak again.

“Y/N do you hear yourself speaking? You don’t realise the amount of shame you have brought on to my name. Don’t you know how bad it sounds to say my daughter’s with a human, we would get ridiculed, outcasted. You’re mother would never have been proud of this.” Your father coldly spit, slowly cutting through your heart with the last sentence. You couldn’t believe he had the nerve to say that about you or her. Your mother always promised to love you no matter what, even when she disappeared. You always remembered her words and kept them close to your heart. Jongdae couldn’t stand to see you be brought down like this so he stood up for you. “Who are you to say. The only wish from any mother is their child happiness. Y/N’s happy with me. If she was a good mother, that should be enough for her.”

“Silence boy.” Your father fumed at Jongdae’s speech. “Y/N I am never to see you near the shore or this monster again. Do I make myself clear?” A few tears escaped from your eyes as you stayed quiet. “I said do I make myself clear?!” He repeated even louder than before. A sorrowful yes came out of your lips before you burst into tears. “I’ll give you to a moment but don’t even think of running off, you don’t know what I’m capable of.” He spat as he disappeared into the ocean.

A waterfall of tears cascaded down your face as you wept away your never ending sadness. Jongdae look distraught having his happiness, his light being torn away from him. “Love, look at me.” He said all colour washed away in his voice. “Nothing is going to stop me being away from you okay.” “Jongdae you don’t get it, I care for your safety,you don’t know what he is capable of. I can’t live knowing you are hurt. It’s best if I stay away.” You sadly told him the truth. “I should’ve known from the beginning,” he stated,”Some as beautiful and as god-like as you couldn’t be mine for a long period of time.” He put himself down. “Don’t say that, you are gorgeous, no matter what you think. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” You tried to reassure him.

“I love you.” He said pulling you into a deeper embrace. You returned the hug saying how much you loved him as well. How you’ll miss this. He quickly pecked your lips in a short but loving kiss. “I’ll miss you Y/N.” He told you meaning every word. “I’ll miss you even more.” You replied,”One day I’ll be back from Atlantis, my love.” ”And I’ll be waiting until the I day die, for your return.” He gave you one last peck on the check and watched as you disappeared into the azure ocean for the last time in god knows how long. Jongdae felt a pang in his chest, knowing that you would probably move on and forget all about him and what you had. But he was sure you’ll be happier without him. What your father said to him started to make sense now. Your love was forbidden. He was foolish for falling in love with you. Nothing good could come out of it. But every kiss. Every hug. Each one of those whispered sweet nothings, late into the night. They all felt so right. His head was a mess. Maybe getting away from you would do him more good than he thinks. But no matter how many times he tried to tell himself that, the more he realised how much he needed you in his life.

You weren’t doing much better, if not worse. Your father forbid you from ever going outside, unless he told you could. You felt like a prisoner in your own home. A person taken hostage. All your rights were revoked. When you tried to question your father about his treatment of you, he just stated that this was the why for you to learn a lesson. So you’ll never disobey again. Heck, you weren’t even allowed to see Kibum anymore, your father claiming that he had lost his trust. None of this helped the constant pain in your chest, from your bleeding broken heart. Jongdae had been your rock during times like this,keeping you sane and making sure you always end up with a smile on your face. You missed him so dearly. Everything you looked at reminded you of him in one way or another. It was complete torture, the only man you could think of is the only man you couldn’t see. The once permanent smile on your face was now replaced with a frown coupled with red and puffy eyes, from crying all night.

It was hard and painful to live without your love and your dad was just starting realise that. All these months your father stayed adamant that all Jongdae would bring was trouble and it was best for you not to be together. However when he started to bring back your privileges, of going outside and meeting up with friends, you declined. When he asked if you wanted to eat dinner, you always replied with a no and locked yourself up in your room. It broke his heart to hear you cry yourself to sleep every night. His once happy go-lucky girl had turned into something he didn’t recognise . He finally noticed how happy and complete Jongdae made you feel.

After days of thought he decided to sit you down to talk.“Y/N I’ve seen how you’ve been acting these past few months and it hurts me to see you this way. All I wanted to do from the beginning is protect you. Now I’ve noticed I’ve done more to harm you than good. I’m sorry I let my pride and beliefs come before your happiness.” He looked and sounded completely sincere, sorry for his actions. You weren’t ready to forgive him just yet but you were willing to make a start. “Even if I don’t completely trust him, I will allow to start seeing Jongdae again.” He stated. You couldn’t believe your ears. You tried pinching yourself but you didn’t awake. Even if you’ve hoped and prayed for this day to come. It sounded surreal hearing the words come from his mouth. “Are you serious?” When he nodded his head, you enveloped him into a bear hug. “Thank you,Thank you so much.” You cried, a single tear of joy managed to escape your eye.

For the first time in months, you arose from the seabed, your head poking above the water. As you got closer to the shoreline, a figure could been seen sitting on a rock. You instantly knew who it was.

“Jongdae! You screamed running towards his form. As soon as he caught wind of what was happening, he turned and met you at the middle of the beach, not hesitating to lift you up in the air with his hands around your waist. Your lips met as you shared a passionate kiss full of happiness and love.”You’re back, I can’t believe it.” He laughed. “I told you I’ll be back.” “Turns out your really good at keeping promises,love” hugged you tighter. This is the time you realised all the pain you went through was all worth it if you got to see him and his beautiful smile again. He was all you needed and you couldn’t wish for anything else. You had finally been reunited with your light on the darkest of days, your sunshine but most importantly your soulmate.

#exo oneshot #exo imagines #exo fluff #exo angst #chen oneshot #chen imagines #chen fluff #chen angst #jongdae oneshot #jongdae imagines #jongdae fluff #jongdae angst #kpop fluff #kpop angst

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bribeelevating · 5 years

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Shawty still full of love, she just aint soft anymore.

I've spent a better half of my twenties loving a man who wasn't capable of loving me correctly. For a long time I was angry at him for the heartache and pain he inflicted on me. I thought being loyal and riding through all the bullshit meant I was worthy of his love. No matter how many times he cheated on me, lied to me, disrespected me..put his hands on me...i still took him back. I couldn't even tell you the amount of times i left him and swore i would never go back, but ended up back in the cycle of toxicity. I'm still not really sure WHY I even took him back after everything that transpired. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was lonliness. Maybe it was my selfish thoughts of not wanting him to move on to someone else because I KNEW I was good enough for him. He just needed to see it, too.

The fact of the matter was, I was ALWAYS good enough..

Looking back on things, I should have ended it when he showed me who he was in the begining. But I thought that We were just young. I was 20, he was 18. I thought that one day he'd magically become the man I always needed and wanted.

I met him at a very vulnerable place in my life. My first daughter had just died 5 months before. And I ended the relationship with her father (another toxic rollercoaster of a relationship in which i was very controlling. He was always lying and very manipulative) so going into this new relationship I vowed to be completely different. I let my guard completely down. I was trusting, I wasn't controlling, I looked at all the positives and never the negatives. I ignored the red flags and accepted the bare minimum. I lowered my standards. I threw out my self love. And i settled for the misery...because i thought he really did love me. And you know...i think he really did and probably still does. But the love he has for himself and his vices are far greater. He turned into an addict. An addict Of sex, alcohol and eventually drugs. I thought i could help, I so desperately wanted to help him. But something switched in me.

When i started putting my foot down and setting boundaries and sticking to them...i noticed the truth. There was no respect. There was no love. There was no US. there was just the need for comfort and fleeting feelings of being wanted. We got SOOOO comfortable in the toxic cycle of hate and betrayal and lies..but eventually The Resentment overpowered the make up sex and the faulty feeling of love. When I realized he could look me in the eyes and try and convince me I was crazy for calling him out on his lies or tell me that my feelings weren't valid because they got in the way of him trying to manipulate me and the situation. I knew i was done.

The new me was born that day. Im not cold hearted or callus because of the situations and relationships I've endured. But I'm also not blind to the bullshit. I have boundaries. I have self respect. I know my worth and i know what my standards are. Im not afraid to speak up for what i want and need. And im no longer afraid to walk away from what or who doesnt appreciate or respect me. But I am still completely and utterly full of love and light. And I'm still willing to share me, all of me, with the right person.... eventually

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seadramonster · 6 years

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Everything Bad Darkstalker Did in Darkstalker Legends

Originally, I was going to get evidence from all of the books, but wow. I feel like all the evidence I need is just in his book and his book alone. If you want me to go through all the other books and find other stuff, I will. I will be putting quotes down along with the page number(I have the hardcover version so I don't know if the softcover version has different page numbers) if you want to fact check or whatever.

Before I get into this I need to point a few things out; Obviously, spoilers ahead so if you haven't read Darkstalker's book I highly suggest waiting unless you're like me and don't care about spoilers. Press J to skip past this post if you want to avoid spoilers.

Do I hate Darkstalker? Not really, no. He’s not my favorite character, but I quite liked him as a villain. I feel like there were some things Tui could have done better, but Darkstalker’s book is one of my favorites. What I do hate is the fandom’s portrayal of him by using his abuse as an excuse for his actions.

Yes, I know Darkstalker grew up in a home where he knew his father hated him and his parents were always fighting. He made it clear that he didn't care for what his father thought of him(whether or not this is true considering that Darkstalker is an unreliable narrator is up for debate, but considering how Darkstalker is, I'm willing to bet that it's true.)

Yes, I know Darkstalker has a mentally disabled sister who he loves with all his heart and will do anything to protect her.

Yes, I know Darkstalker loved Clearsight and Fathom and felt betrayed when they turned on him.

But here's the thing; I grew up in a household where my parents were always fighting and I have had many people I cared deeply for just up and abandon/outright betray me in the past, but I didn't attempt a complete takeover of the entire continent or genocide because of it. A character's childhood abuse or dysfunctional family could be used as an explanation for their actions but it does not excuse their actions. While I do understand why Darkstalker turned out the way he did, that does not mean what he did was right or can be excused just because of the environment he grew up in. A character who was abused, especially one who attempted genocide, is no less a villain than a character who became a villain because of some other reason such as jealousy.

Not to mention how absolutely arrogant, manipulative and just downright extremely disrespectful for the feelings, choices and opinions of others Darkstalker is in general.

TLDR for those who don't have the patience or time to go through this entire post. If you want me to go more in depth about a certain point below, just ask and I can copy/paste all of the relevant information to that point in an ask because this ended up being really long;

Darkstalker hated and wanted to kill his father the moment he hatched, was so selfish and desperate to be the center of attention he denied his sister the chance to hatch under the three moons

Constantly broke his promises to and enchanted Clearsight without her knowledge or consent

Attempted genocide and murdered his father(who would have never killed him, by the way, Arctic states he could never kill his own son)

Completely disregarded what future Clearsight wanted and manpiluated her into the one he wanted without any care for what she thought of it

Completely ignored the trauma that Fathom suffered as a result of watching his entire family get murdered right in front of him as a result of animus powers and constantly tried to force Fathom into breaking his oath to never use them again. Also attempted to enchant Fathom to forget about his oath and stop loving Indigo and then later sealed Indigo away and made it look like she abandoned him.

And finally, Clearsight literally did not know what happiness was until she met Listener and avoided Darkstalker for as long as possible because she was terrified of him and was practically forced into the relationship because if she didn't the entire continent would be doomed

Keep in mind that’s the short version and all of this is just from one book.

One the first things Darkstalker wants to do after he hatches is kill his father. This is not only weird and strangely violent for a literal newborn character, but it's also proof that Darkstalker was violent as a literal infant. The only reason he didn't attack and try to murder Arctic was because Darkstalker sensed that Arctic loved Foeslayer. "The dragonet immediately wanted to turn him into a fiery ball and blow his ashes away. But inside Father, hidden under layers of ice, pulsed a small, warm ember of love for Mother. That was the thing that saved him." -Legends Darkstalker page 11

Deliberately does not help his sister hatch the same day as him because otherwise she would be special like him. Here it is shown that while he does care about and love his sister, he desires attention and is willing to do selfish things to achieve that. "No. This was his. All he had to do was nothing. His sister would come out in her own time, tomorrow when the moons were no longer full. Then he would be the only special one." -Legends Darkstalker page 17

He also did so because there was a chance she would stop him. He is fully aware that she could have helped him, but instead he chose to play it safe and got rid of any chance she could have been a threat. "This is my mother. These are my full moons. This is my world now." -Legends Darkstaler page 17

This is just Chapter 2. This is Darkstalker as a newly hatched infant. And in this chapter we learn several things; Darkstalker hated and wanted to kill his father immediately, Darkstalker loves his mother so much he wasn't willing to share her with his own sister for a certain amount of time, Darkstalker is so selfish and power-hungry that he denied his sister the chance to hatch under the three full moons because he saw a few futures where, if she did, that she would be a threat to his future plans. He was like this from the very beginning. His personality would likely be the exact same way it is later no matter how his father treated him.

In Chapter 5 he is bitter towards everyone about spying on his arguing parents which is understandable. Later on he intends to lie to his sister about something their father had received; a letter that stated if he killed Darkstalker and Whiteout he could return to the Ice Kingdom. Considering the fact that it is hinted that Whiteout does have the ability to read minds and see the future, she was likely aware that her own brother was lying to her. "'I'll tell you later,' he said. When I come up with a lie that you'll believe." -Legends Darkstalker page 50

Sneaks into his parents' bedroom to read the letter despite having read their minds and already knowing what it said. While this isn't such a huge deal, it's still an invasion of their privacy. Darkstalker page 51-52

It's also confirmed that the hatred that Darkstalker feels towards his father has existed since the moment he hatched. He is also shown as being a bit arrogant here, where he mentions his father can't do anything to him because Darkstalker has powers, even though his father also has animus powers, is older than him and is far more experienced in battle. "Darkstalker never worried about why his father hated him. It was mutual and instantaneous upon his hatching, so it didn't particularly affect his life. Besides, he knew his father couldn't do anything to him, considering Darkstalker's powers." -Darkstalker page 53

Clearsight literally spent all of Chapter 7 avoiding Darkstalker because she was afraid if she met him too soon it would cause one of the bad futures. His own soulmate was afraid of him before they formally met and she felt like she had no choice but to risk those bad futures and meet him because not meeting him would mean doom for the entire continent. While she loved Darkstalker, it doesn't change the fact she was practically forced into this relationship. She felt like she needed to constantly watch him and outwit him so he didn't go down a bad path. Clearsight is full of anxiety mostly because she knows exactly what Darkstalker is capable of and spends the entire book trying to stop him but eventually fails and is forced to seal him away. They loved each other, but this was not a healthy relationship because of just how toxic Darkstalker is.

Clearsight was literally afraid of making friends because she was terrified it would end badly, probably because of Darkstalker. She didn't even know what happiness felt like before she met Listener, because her entire life up until that point was her being terrified of Darkstalker. "Listener grinned sideways at her and flicked her tail. Clearsight felt a burst of weird bubbles in her chest. What was that? Happiness?" -Darkstalker 101

It's also mentioned by Clearsight that "[Darkstalker]'s been keeping all his powers pretty quiet so far. I wish I couldn't see so many good AND bad reasons for that." -Darkstalker page 101

Darkstalker defends his sister after she is insulted by a group of other dragonets when she interrupts their game of marbles. While he does go about dealing with this well at first, he then proceeds to give away the thoughts of the other dragonets without asking them and it likely ends in the three of them no longer being friends. The dragonets were rude and racist towards his sister, but they had already apologized before he did this. "'She was cheating anyway, all he can think about is his crush on her sister, and he is thoroughly sick of both of them and wishes he knew anyone interesting. Have fun with your marbles, friends.' He turned and escorted Whiteout away, leaving the three dragons glaring at one another" -Darkstalker 105

Darkstalker promises to stay out of Clearsight's thoughts when they meet. While he does seem to keep this promise, he later regrets this promise just a chapter later. Clearsight mentions a week-long storm that happens three days after the first day of school, meaning That Darkstalker started to regret his promise only three days after meeting Clearsight. "He regretted promising to stay out; it was interesting in there." -Darkstalker page 112

He is well aware of the things that she can do and he mentions that her surprising him is fun at the time, but then mentions it might not be later. "She switched the future like a long tail, keeping him off balance. It was fun. Maybe it wouldn't always be fun, but it was for now." -Darkstalker page 113

He then mentions that "he'd have enough worshipers, one day". Yikes. -Darkstalker page 113.

He then reads her mind and while he pulls back he mentions he should be able to do it for the dragon he's supposed to love. As the book goes on, he continues to try and do things that will make her trust him so he can nudge her into the future he wants instead of figuring out a future they both want. He completely disregards anything that Clearsight wants. I will go into more detail as these things happen.

He fails his father’s animus test because he is so mistrustful of his father he didn’t want to risk him doing anything while Darkstalker was too young to defend himself. iDarkstalker page 117

He then says "'Never tell me that my father is right about anything. Not if you care about me.'" when Clearsight points out that Arctic is right about animus magic being dangerous. And she is right, as proven later in the book. Darkstalker's line, "Not if you care about me" is extremely manipulative and is a giant warning sign that you are in a bad relationship. If someone says this to you frequently, talk to them about it and if they continue to do it, get out of that relationship. Darkstalker talks about ‘if you care about me’ and yet he continually manipulates, lies to and breaks promises to Clearsight and gets away with it, but then he turns around and claims she doesn’t care for him when she agrees with his father about something(which, surprise surprise, he turns out to be right about later on). -Darkstalker page 117

He then lies to Clearsight directly after that by saying he didn't look past meeting her, even though it's made painfully obvious that he has looked into future, judging on what he has said throughout the book so far. And then he outright admits to himself that he has looked into the future where he did become the king of the NightWings and he knows that Clearsight, his soulmate doesn't like that future so he thinks to himself that he has to manipulate her onto that path until she does like it. "She wouldn't love hearing that, though. She had to be steered carefully into that timeline, until she could see how perfect it was." and then continues to lie to her about looking into the future. Darkstalker page 117-118

He then breaks his promise, again, and reads her mind again when they find the injured SeaWing on the beach. "Her thoughts were so loud and tangled with grief that Darkstalker couldn't avoid hearing them (or so he told himself)." -Page 121 That "Or so he told himself" line is important because it shows he is willingly listening to Clearsight's mind after he promised her three days earlier that he wouldn't.

The first thing he does when he hears Fathom's name is become jealous. His immediate thoughts are, "A friend one day, perhaps, but certainly no one to be so devastated about if he didn't make it. A peripheral character in their great love story. So why was Clearsight so upset? Was this someone he had to worry about?" -Darkstalker page 122. He doesn't see any dragon as being important except him, Clearsight, his mother and his sister. He is extremely arrogant and sees Fathom as a threat despite knowing absolutely nothing about him.

Listener points out to Clearsight that Darkstalker has been blocking mind readers from his mind, a skill that dragons don't learn until they are seven. -Darkstalker page 132

She then points out that Darkstalker only says he's staying out of Clearsight's head. Clearsight admits she was worried about it. Clearsight does not trust Darkstalker. She fears him and she wants to trust him, but she just can't. -Darkstalker page 133

Darkstalker admits that he enchanted the window boxes of their neighbors to grow pear trees and turnips instead of whatever the dragons were trying to grow. He then admits he's going to do something similar to their new neighbors once he figures it out. Darkstalker is using his powers to inconvenience others. While he has a reason for it, the neighbors were being nosey, it doesn't make it right. This is probably the most harmless antagonistic thing Darkstalker does with his powers. -Darkstalker 137

Darkstalker puts all of his animus magic into a scroll and it's purely to make Clearsight trust him and prove that he was nothing like his father. While this does help Clearsight to trust him, she is still worried about him keeping his promise and asks him to make her something that will stop other mind readers from reading her mind. She tells him it's about Listener and other mind readers and Darkstalker agrees to it. Darkstalker page 143-144

Darkstalker's animus powers are revealed and he loves the attention he's getting from other dragons. He's then invited to the palace to welcome Fathom and Indigo and it's here that we learn he made a special earing for himself; "This one was enchanted to make everyone who met him think he was exceptionally handsome and charming."

He tries to talk Fathom into enchanting something that takes away the memories and fear of the massacre and notes that he needs to be careful of Indigo when she is suspicious of him. He does everything he can to make them trust him. Despite knowing what happened, Darkstalker can still not understand why anyone would give up so much power. "What kind of animus gave up all his power forever?" -Darkstalker page 185. This question is framed in a casual and almost accusatory way, like someone asking "Who puts pineapples on pizza?"

Darkstalker then uses the "I can help you be happy" line and Indigo immediately knows that he is trying to manipulate Fathom into doing what he wants instead of respecting the choice that Fathom has already made. -Darkstalker page 185

Darkstalker then makes it known to the reader that the tail band is enchanted to kill anyone who touches it instantly. He doesn't kill Indigo immediately because "First, though, he wanted to Fathom's reaction." While it is understandable why he would be willing to fight back, he makes it clear that he sees Indigo as an enemy and dangerous to his plans and is completely willing to murder her. -Darkstalker page 186

"'Maybe he's planning to kill us later.' No, just you, thought Darkstalker pleasantly." -Darkstalker page 186 Pleasantly. He is thinking about murdering a dragon he just met and he does so in a way like he's about to go on a walk in the park.

He puts off killing Indigo, for a while, because it would destroy Fathom, but continues to think about ways to get Indigo out of his way.

While he does want to help Fathom, he completely ignores the trauma that Fathom has been through and makes it his mission to make Fathom see how wonderful animus magic is, something that Fathom is now terrified of after seeing his entire family get slaughtered by it.

After the encounter with Indigo Darkstalker makes himself immortal. Knowing that Clearsight wouldn't like it, he writes the spell farther up in the scroll, near the beginning where there was enough space to do so. He then thinks about what he could do to other dragons, now that he knows he can enchant himself. -Darkstalker page 213-215

He mentions that he should have enchanted the necklace that Clearsight is wearing in Chapter 19 to make her feel as beautiful as she looks, which she replies by telling him that it wouldn't be okay for him to change her feelings with his magic. Keep that in mind for later. Darkstalker page 217

Darkstalker, after creating the soul reader, continues to try and make Fathom use his powers even though Fathom has made it clear he is highly uncomfortable and terrified of the idea. He does not believe that Fathom can be happy unless he can use his powers confidently. -Darkstalker page 227

When his mother is taken by Queen Diamond, Darkstalker's immediate thoughts are to murder the queen. He blames his father for his mother being taken, despite Foeslayer being the one who ripped the earring off, even though she knew it was the only thing protecting her. -Darkstalker 249

"Clearsight knew that there were only three dragons that Darkstalker loved" -Darkstalker 253. Darkstalker thinks little or nothing of other dragons and Clearsight believes he only became friends with Fathom because she wanted him to.

He is also not above murdering children. "'Those little dragonets will grow up to be a part of this war,' he pointed out. 'unless we stop them.'" -Darkstalker page 255

Darkstalker turns Indigo into a wooden statue and tricks Fathom into thinking she's abandoned him by writing a letter. -Darkstalker page 269

Broke yet another promise to Clearsight that he would wait before doing any spells so that she could be there when he did it to find out who hired Quickdeath to kill him. -Darkstalker page 301

Darkstalker enchanted earrings so that Clearsight would only see the visions he wanted her to. -Darkstalker page 307-308

Attempted to kill the queen after she hired an assassin to kill him and felt no remorse for breaking Clearsight's trust and going against her wishes to enchant her. Darkstalker page 310-311

Put up a border that killed any IceWing who tried to enter the Night Kingdom. -Darkstalker page 314

Enchanted his father to listen to everything he says. -Darkstalker Page 322

Despite knowing that Clearsight doesn't want him to, he refuses to listen to her and is adamant about taking the throne. -Darkstalker page 325

Thought about enchanting Fathom so Darkstalker wouldn't have to listen to his thoughts all the time and force him to be happier. "Something that would shift Fathom's brain into a much quieter state; something that would take all that freaking out and stuff it away where Darkstalker didn't have to listen to it all the time." -Darkstalker page 326

Thinks about again enchanting Clearsight against her will even after she made it clear she was not okay with it to force her to be happy. "He knew they would be happy together again, even if it required a little magic." -Darkstalker page 330

Ordered Arctic to cut out his tongue and disembowl himself in front of the entire NightWing tribe. -Darkstalker page 333

Was willing to kill Clearsight when he realized she had taken his scroll. "Maybe there would be no queen on the throne beside him." -Darkstalker page 335

Wrote spells in invisible ink to prevent Clearsight from reading them -Darkstalker page 345

Enchanted a goblet to make Fathom forget his oath and stop loving Indigo. -Darkstalker page 345

Enchanted a knife to kill an IceWing every full moon for a year or until Darkstalker summoned it back. This could have easily killed any young dragonets as well, if they had been in the Kingdom of Sand at the time for any reason, since he did not specify the age of the IceWing or if they were a soldier. -Darkstalker page 346

Made many spells to torment classmates he didn't like and haunt Queen Diamond with all the ways he planned to kill her. -Darkstalker page 346

And that's just in Legends Darkstalker. He is an interesting character, but he is not in any way a good person and you should not be shipping him with anyone because it could never be a healthy relationship unless you completely change Darkstalker's entire personality. Tui herself says you should never date someone like Darkstalker.

I get that people love tragic characters and that's fine! The main issue here and the entire reason I made this post is that fandom has a horrible habit of overlooking or pushing aside the bad things these characters do and or pushing the blame onto someone else. They latch onto what the popular people in the fandom believe, even if that portrayal of the character is the exact opposite of what is actually canon.

Arctic isn't a good person either, he's horrid in a lot of ways, but Darkstalker chose to do these things himself. Arctic never forced him to and tried to stop Darkstalker from using his powers by warning him of how dangerous they could be. Darkstalker didn’t listen and continually used his powers to harm others, something he chose to do all by himself, even after being told not to by pretty much everyone who cared about him.

#Wings of Fire #WoF #Darkstalker #Clearsight #Arctic #Fathom #Foeslayer #Whiteout #Listener #Indigo

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