#he's literally SO loud why is he screaming about pumpkin juice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forthehpfanboys · 4 years

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Hi can you do a can a hc of Victor Krum x Hufflepuff male reader

Ok, ok, yes. Yes please. Yup. Please ignore me pretending I know anything about his character. I just got the fourth book and I'm trying-

Part 2

§×§×§ §×§×§ §×§×§

Let's be honest, you two met at Hogwarts during the TriWizard Tournament.

Well, not during it. You guys officially met before the games even started, but his school was there for it.

So, you'd probably bumped into bum in the halls or something and he brushed off the small butterfly in his gut and said it was no big deal.

But like there was a moment when he developed a little crush for you.

It was one of those moments where like you were sitting on a rock by the Black Lake and he was pacing and he was doin' his work out thingy and his eyes land on you when he's walking by and he's like

"OOP, a CUTIE-" and he walks over to the rock and his fangirls are like "NONONONO-"

But it's too late, he's already next to you.

And of course your nervous, he's a fAMOUS QUIDDITCH PLAYER AND HE'S NEXT TO YOU

And he's tall, dark and handsome, so 👀

Ok, but when he makes you blush, he's feeling gitty inside. Probably starts speaking Bulgarian souly out of excitement.

We all know the fangirls end up shipping you two.

And it doesn't take long for Krum to realize you sat on that rock every time you wanted to study.

So he stops by almost every day just to chat with you.

Adventually, you start opening up to him slowly and getting to know him and he gets to know you.

Viktor realizes your so smart and he's just like "He's cute AND a genius?!!"

You literally blow him away.

He wants to be able to give you his address or letter thingy so you guys can write all the time because he needs it in his life.

But first he has to get to know you.

So he does that. He notices the little things, too.

He sits beside you on the rock, and helps you study, when he knows how to help you in that particular subject.

You guys play like twenty questions.

He asks about your hobbies, you ask about what classes he takes, he asks about your favorite color, you ask about his favorite broom trick.

It's honestly so cute though because when you guys realize you have common favorites, you forget about studying and just talk about those favorites.

And somehow it comes to your favorite subject and your just like going off and your smiling, talking with your hands, your loud and he's just looking at you like "W O W"

Viktor probably doesn't understand much about the subject, but he loves seeing you like this.

And you're like "I HATE THIS ONE THING. IT'S DUMB, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN??" and he's like "yES. IT'S DUMB AND STUPID."

But in reality, he's just staring at your sparkling eyes and thinking "Ah, yes, I am clueless........................... He's adorable, tho."

Other than that? His head is empty while you talk.

You're voice is like music to him, especially because of your accent. He just can not get enough.

Viktor tries to get you to tell him stories just so you ramble and get off topic.

He's smitten over you, it's quiet simple.

He can and will show off during the TriWizard Tournament tho.

He dedicates his win against the dragon to you.

HIM ASKING YOU TO HELP HIM FIGURE OUT TOURNAMENT TWO-

He gives you the egg as a gift after you figure it out. He honestly doesn't care if he's even allowed to take it home or not, it's yours now and you will have to go through him to get it from you.

Like he'll wink at you from whatever he's doing and maybe do a little flex, especially during the second trial.

Honestly, he probably looked for you during the second trial to find you but you were in the Black Lake.

He DEFINITELY kisses your head while wrapping the towel around your shoulders. He spends his time gently drying your hair while everyone is excited and screaming around you.

Like yeah, he's happy he did it, but he's relieved your safe. He probably officially falls in love with you when you look at him with like big, innocent eyes and say thank you.

And that's when be tries to ask you on a date but you can't hear him over the screaming crowds.

Naturally though, he's very, very careful and protective of you after the whole lake thing.

I feel like he gives some of the best hugs.

I don't know why. He gives the best hugs and head pats.

HE'S THE TYPE OF HUGGER THAT GIVES YOU A LITTLE SQUEEZE THEN LETS GO.

He probably asks you to the dance and then asks you out at said dance.

Take him to Hogsmead. I feel like he'd enjoy it. Take him to the Quidditch shop. Do it. Watch him brag about his broom and then fluster himself by knocking over a stack of books or something.

Please. You guys'll be walking down the halls together and like bump shoulders and your hands will brush against each other and you'll blush and he'll smile and you guys act like nothing happened.

But he will ask you out to the ball.

And it's probably sudden, too.

Like you guys are eating breakfast together and he just blurts it out and you almost choke and die on pumpkin juice and he just smiles and chuckles while patting your back.

"Please don't die, I'd love an answer to my question." "I-I'm sorry, what was the question again?" "Would you like be my date to the dance?" "S-.. Sure! Yes."

He bows to you at the dance and asks for your hand. Definitely kisses your knuckles too.

He IMMEDIATELY compliments your suit/tux fuck it, dress, whatever you wore, dude. You do you. He loved it though and he thinks you look amazing.

Thinks your outfit is adorable and will not stop repeating it.

The color of your suit? His new favorite color.

But his new favorite colors are also: your eye color, your hair color, your skin color, your favorite color-

It's a whole list.

You're just his favorite.

He tries to spend like every day with you until he has to leave.

He writes to you first and it's something so sickeningly sweet you hang it up in your dorm room.

He can and will give you tickets to his games. Shows you off to his team mates.

STOPS BY HOGWARTS TO SEE YOUR QUIDDITCH GAMES IF YOU PLAY-

YOU GUYS PLAYING TOGETHER ON THE FIELD.

Him giving you pointers on your broom so you guys are sharing one and his chest is against your back and his hands are over yours like in those muggle movies with the couples clay classes or whatever-

Just you two playing quidditch.

Please.

He let's you win, if you arne't used to playing. But if your on the Hogwarts team, you better be ready to fucking go.

And if your totally uncomfortable on a broom, he will teach you (once again, sitting behind you on the broom, hands over yours blah blah clay), and it's like 2 feet off the ground and he's holding you close to you don't fall or go any higher.

I didn't know I needed this until now-

Just kinda realized I didn't focus too much on the Hufflepuff aspect of the request, so I'm gonna add some more so here we go.

People joking about how every Hufflepuff has a Slytherin and how you definitely have one and he's like "... Who are they? I'll fight them. Give me their names-"

Krum losing it when you give him a special gift from your collection (ex: rocks, flower petals, stuffed animals).

If you make him a friendship bracelet, he will NOT take it off.

Give him a flower crown and he's making you one. Fight me.

This man lacks any toxic masculinity. He can and will wear jewelry you make him.

Him relaxing in the Hufflepuff Common Room and just enjoying the softness and everything. Just everything. He loves it all.

He loves messing up your tie and laughs when you smack his hands away and frantically try to fix it.

He loves pulling you into a kiss by your tie or your rob's and, once again, messing them up so your shaky hands have to do it.

He loves flustering you.

CALLS YOU "PUFFIE" WHEN YOU GET ANGRY

#viktor krum x male reader #viktor krum imagine #viktor krum #viktor krum headcanon #hp x male reader #x male reader #male reader #hp imagine #hp headcanon #not a story

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kotsuvi · 4 years

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WHAT THE HQ BOYS ARE LIKE DURING THANKSGIVING/FRIENDSGIVING

a/n: okay this is kinda a take on canadian/american thanksgiving—yanno with all the pumpkin pie and the turkeys and the fall colours? i just thought it would be kind of cute.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking for some

KARASUNO

daichi: told-no, COMMANDED asahi and suga to wear fall colours. like seriously wore the brown khakis with the orange sweater and little socks with turkeys on them. it’s at his house, so he insisted that suga and asahi arrive early and sit at the table together, just to make the other guests feel bad about not being dressed up. yells at the guests to stop touching his family’s ornaments and paintings. gets kita to help babysit.

suga: was actually going to dress up anyway, so he took it as the perfect chance to wear his turkey knit sweater. it has tiny little turkeys all over it like it’s so fuckin cute. lowwwwkeyyyy makes daichi blush when he sees him but like we’re not gonna talk about it. brings a delicious fruit salad that’s eaten almost singlehandedly by lev and hinata.

asahi: panics because he doesn’t have a lot of nice things to wear. like FREAKS OUT in front of his closet, close to tears. legit settles on a tan shirt, brown pants and black boots with a slight heel. definitely gets teased by tendou about keeping the beard. “keeping it intact,” he replies. brings cabbage rolls. also brings brownies, and has to fight the urge to eat them all on the way over.

nishinoya: arrives slightly late, but worth the wait. busts through the door screaming about how hungry he is. doesn’t take of his shoes in the house so he trails mud EVERYWHERE. also sneaks in a couple bottles of cider. he’s been thinking about this feast for days, and he just can’t wait. talks with his mouth full of food. probably spits mashed potatos on akaashi at some point. gets drunk off of his secret cider and asks iwa if he likes being second best to oikawa.

tanaka: arrives shortly after noya, despite saeko speeding to get there. you can literally hear him talking from ten houses away. argues with bokuto over stupid things; ends up nearly starting a food fight. eats with his fingers, literally no utensils, and doesn’t use a napkin. secretly grossing everyone out. thinks that he can win a turkey eating contest, but daichi shuts him down before he can get started. is DEDICATED to the kareoke. even sings a song for kiyoko.

hinata: so incredibly excited to eat. this kid could not SLEEP he was so excited. gets cursed with sitting next to ushiwaka and tendou, who bully him about his hair being thanksgiving colours year-round. budges everyone in line for the food. of course daichi then makes him go last. yells at kageyama for getting the best part of the turkey: the skin. atsumu tells him that ginger beer is a new type of “delicious juice” and he drinks it all, nearly throwing up afterwards. lowkey got flustered when tanaka was singing britney spears.

kageyama: tells everyone that he doesn’t want to go, but is actually extremely excited as well. for some reason he snoops through daichi’s house while everyone is eating? he just wants to take a look around, and then suddenly he’s in daichi’s parents’ bathroom, inspecting shampoo labels. literally doesn’t eat sitting still either. he just stands behind his chair? oikawa starts a rumour that he can’t sit because he has hemorrhoids, and kags responds by throwing his drink in oiks’ face. that really starts a riot. really he just wants to be standing so he can run to the kitchen and get more food in an emergency.

tsukishima: brings his headphones just in case he’s stuck next to bokuto or someone really loud and obnoxious. of course he is. bokuto AND tanaka. everyone tries to coax him into kareoke after the meal, and he declines, but really wants to prove to kuroo that he is the most angelic singer there. “accidentally” tips his drink into bokuto’s lap, but the guy is so busy yelling at tanaka that he doesn’t even notice, so tsukki tips another. goes on his phone at the table. tells tadashi to get all his meals for him because he doesn’t want to stand in line.

tadashi: goes through one (1) mental breakdown when he’s seated beside aone instead of tsukki. pours WAAAAAAY too much gravy on his meal because he’s just so nervous. like literally SWAMPS his turkey and vegetables. his mom forced him to bring a green bean casserole. he doesn’t even like casserole. sits across from oikawa and this mans won’t stop asking for photos of him and iwa, so tadashi is tasked with that for the night. offers to help daichi with the dishes afterwards. gets awarded with an extra slice of pumpkin pie.

saeko: handed her cider to noya beforehand because she just knew that daichi would check her at the door. she gets drunk halfway through anyway. challenges iwa to an arm wrestling competition. winner gets the losers pumpkin pie with EXTRA whipped cream. the sexual tension skyrockets. she wins but accidentally shoves iwa’s fist into akaashi’s cranberry sauce. gets scolded by daichi MULTIPLE times. too drunk to care.

kiyoko: also came over early. made butternut squash that is to die for. helps set up even though she knows that it’s just going to become a mess. keeps track of the points for kareoke. may or may not have given tanaka extra points for singing “i’m a slave 4 u” by britney spears.

yachi: of COURSE this girl has to sit between aone and ushiwaka. of course it works like that. and chicky is terrified. spills her drink on the nice tablecloth and pleads for kiyoko and daichi to spare her life. thinks that the kareoke is too loud. nearly craps her pants when bokuto jumps up on the table. brings glazed donuts for dessert.

coach ukai: daichi invited him just to be polite but then he??? ended up??? coming??? literally shocked everyone into the sixth dimension. says he isnt going to stay for long, but mans is there the WHOLE night. busts out with some MR. WORLDWIDE;)))!!

AOBAJOHSAI

oikawa: his one mission was to be best dressed, and judging by the appalled look on daichi’s face when he first entered, he succeeded. this mans wont shut up either, and even tho everyone yells at him, they’re actually invested in his stories. he tells a whole bunch from middle school and his earliest volleyball memories, and everyone??? likes it??? they’re intrigued the whole time. goshiki and lev listen extra hard. mans wants pictures as well. he needs to show his fans that he does actually have friends. of course he gets the photos before kags dumps the drink on his head, and then he goes feral. teases iwa about the second best comment, but apologizes to him after, assuring that iwa is an amazing ace.

iwa: only went there for oiks. the mans had plans with his family, but he knew that it meant a lot to oikawa, so he showed up. literally goes into a FIT of rage when he loses the armwrestling match, then further infuriated with noya’s comment. chases the kid around the table. nearly knocks out his teeth by tripping into a cabinet. leaves early after throwing a temper tantrum, then receives a formal apology from both oikawa and daichi later on.

matsukawa: i just know this mans smokes at family functions, so what’s stopping him from getting high at friendsgiving? of course he only smokes a lil, just enough to get a good buzz, because he wants to still be respectful. offers to refill drinks when he gets his own. helps pack up the leftovers. tries desperately to catch iwa as he chases noya around, but doesn’t succeed. he can’t really feel his fingers or his face, so he doesn’t smile or laugh like... the whole night.

hanamaki: maybe sneaks out to join mattsun. maybe. no, definitely. and he’s not used to it, so you BET this man is trippin. he tries his best to hide it, but of course suga can tell. he confuses cranberry sauce with champagne, so he literally drinks the damn sauce from a wine glass the whole night. oikawa certainly has pictures for the next morning to prove it too.

kyoutani: doesnt get invited to a ton of things, but he decided to go to this. brings a pumpkin, which is nice, but daichi is like wtf am i meant to do with this??? but it’s a nice gesture. tries to engage in the conversation between the twins, but only gets frustrated when he can’t hear. threatens to flip the table once. cant find the bathroom and ends up taking a piss in the yard.

NEKOMA

kuroo: the one with the kareoke machine. absolutely did not tell daichi he was bringing it, but then pulls it inside. “get a load of this bad boy!!!” “kuroo what the hell is this???” i just know that everyone wants to sit beside this man at the table. he’s cracking jokes and people are straining to hear. it’s a match between him and oiks: who’s telling the better story? also won’t leave. like it’s 2am and he’s still there, swaying alongside bokuto and coach, singing early 2000’s nelly furtado.

kenma: KUROO AND HINATA CONVINCED HIM TO DYE THE TIPS OF HIS HAIR ORANGE. he HATES it. buttttt he’s keeping it even though people tell him he’s a hinata wannabe. “but why would i want to be like shoyo?” “hey kenma that’s not very nice!!” definitely plays games at the table. doesn’t even try to hide it. gets gravy on his switch and uses lev’s shirt as a napkin.

lev: this man has enough food on his plate to feed a small village. like deadass, he doesn’t slow his eating for a BREATH. he didn’t eat the whole day just so he could be extra hungry. like 3/4 of the spread is on his plate. also like cant fit his legs under the table, so he has to eat with his chair super far away. of course this man is going to be dropping food on the floor. literally has a hole in his chin because the gravy keeps dripping out whenever he speaks.

yaku: brings champagne because it’s “an exciting night”. lowkey freaks people out with how quickly he can down a bottle. has a small amount of chicken and turkey, LARGE amount of potatos, but then as many slices of pie as he can. like legit the pieces stack up on his plate. he scolds lev for making a mess, but literally litters crumbs all over the table.

FUKURODANI

bokuto: thinks that lev and him are participating in an eating contest, even tho lev has no idea what’s going on. of course this man brought his own liquor. he knows it’s time to party. legit as soon as he’s finished eating he’s busting open the bottle. towards the end of the night he’s actually dancing on the table, narrowly missing the forks and knives. daichi, suga and kita try their very best to control him, but he’s in his element. legit was throwing it back to kuroo singing “uptown girl”.

akaashi: also brought champagne but drinks it in a fancy glass. legit with the pinky up like royalty. comes in the cutest little fall knit sweater. does NOT participate in kareoke but hums along to the songs he knows. quietly makes bets with kenma on who is going to win, and he gets a couple of victories off of goshiki. also offers to do the dishes, but unlike tadashi, he doesn’t get another slice of pie because yaku ate it all. also brings daichi a card signed by him and bokuto. he’s very thankful. (sweet bb)

SHIRITORIZAWA

ushiwaka: there is no way this man isn’t excited. tbh he didn’t even think he’d get invited, and he actually ALMOST smiled when daichi offered. mans shows up in a turtleneck. TURTLENECK. legit wearing a rolex. why does he have drip? he’s got drip. for a big dude he doesn’t eat very much. threatens atsumu with his life if he ever DARES to shake salt in his champagne again. cracks a plate from gripping it too hard while waiting in line for the dessert. he’s excited, okay?

tendou: wears something weird. like a headbands with a candelabra on it or a giant turkey broach. brings a whole jug of orange juice for himself, and you bet that he finishes it within the first fifteen minutes. honestly, he probably dips his cabbage roll into the drink. also starts a conga line around the table while goshiki is singing. semi dares him to taste some of daichi’s dish soap, and of course he does it.

goshiki: NEVER HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN THIS MAN SO EXCITED. practically bouncing off the walls. eats way too fast. slips in the kitchen trying to get to the sink because he started choking on a green bean. becomes mesmerized by saeko and insists that he’s going to become the world’s best kareoke singer. picks every song about love. okay sam smith. tries to get suna to participate but receives a look that could kill. gets scared after that, but it motivates him to sing even better.

semi: practically skips the meal and goes straight for dessert. gets a harsh scolding from daichi but he doesn’t care. “accidentally” brings up the fact that ushiwaka cuts his food weirdly because he’s left handed. the whole table goes silent. semi passes away.

INARIZAKI

atsumu: literally just went to cause trouble. was he even invited? nobody knows. osamu was, but him? well. gets drunk within the first hour. tricks hinata into trying a bunch of kita’s disgusting ginger beers. constantly kicks samu under the table. throws a shoe across the room when daichi doesn’t let him have another drink. he’s loud. VERY loud. swears far too much and violently compliments daichi on the food. “this food is so fuckin good like hella delicious, i fuckin love thanksgiving! this is the shit!!”, “atsumu your brother made all the food”, “what”

osamu: just there for the food. literally made 3/4 of the dishes, including the turkey. makes fun of daichi for being the host and literally not making any of the food. “that’s embarrassing”, but really he offered to do it waaaaay before. constantly tells atsumu he has food in his teeth. over-salts suna’s turkey just because he feels like it. he’s the dude that encourages makki to drink the cranberry sauce. offers to help vacuum the floor clean of noya’s mess, but daichi is SO done with atsumu that samu just leaves early, dragging his brother with him.

suna: catches tendou drinking the dish soap. he’s not surprised. doesn’t say anything, just nods and walks away. legit doesn’t say anything to anyone tho. like mans shows up, eats and dips. has a one two conversation with ukai about court shoes, and then he’s gone. texts daichi later and thanks him, which is extremely shocking but daichi thinks it’s really nice.

kita: hates gatherings. i know this man just despises the loud and rowdy behaviour. puts mad dog in a headlock when the dude tries to fight kageyama over the turkey skin. eats and leaves zero mess. dabs at the corners of his mouth with napkin. washes his hands before and after everything. i just KNOW he’s polite too, but really gives it to semi when he mentions ushiwaka’s left handed eating. other:

OTHERS

aone: dresses cute. gets complimented by hinata and cant stop thinking about it for the rest of the night. like lev, he eats enough to feed a small town but makes sure everyone else goes before him at dessert time. tells yachi that he loves the donuts.

terushima: definitely wasn’t invited but heard through the grapevine. shows up with one plate of cookies and a violent growling stomach. immediately takes to the kareoke, even before dinner is over. randomly bursts into song halfway through his second plate of green bean casserole. thinks that singing louder = singing better.

sakusa: clearly doesn’t want to be there. brings his own food and his own drink, but doesn’t hesitate to down a bottle of noya’s cider. complains about how close hinata is sitting is sitting to him, and then pulls out a ruler for emphasis. “whoa! where did that come from??” “get away from me.”

#this was fun #i always love writing/reading these for tendou #haikyuu #haikyuu hc #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu!!#hq #hq hc #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfiction #headcanon #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu headcanons #vee's mediocre writing

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blackroseaki38 · 5 years

Text

Team Awesome Prank War

Varian never really paid attention to getting people back for how they treated him or acted around him. Sure, now the villagers never did that anymore. In fact, they hardly ever approached him, which was completely fine with him. Varian didn’t need much, and certainly not their approval. He had his friends and his father, and is content with them.

But, when Eugene glued his shoes to the ground to get back at him for the yelling prank, something inside of him awakened. A need for victory arose in him and it fueled Varian to get him back.

So much for being content.

---

Eugene knew Varian was just trying to get him to stop messing with his things when he scared him with his little yelling prank. Still, he couldn't help himself, he just had to get back at the kid. So, he glued his shoes to the ground, and loved it when Varian fell over when he tried to move. Though he had to admit to himself, that wasn't his best. Eh, it's not like he will need to get the kid back again anytime soon, so he will do better next time in the distant future.

Or so he thought till he got out of the shower and took a look in the mirror.

"AHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!"

Eugene’s loud yell brought in Lance next door and the Captain himself who was passing by.

They both took a look at Eugene and couldn't keep their laughter contained, though Lance tried. Failed, but tried.

"Pfffttttt. Oh, hey Eugene! Um... Nice hair?"

"Pink's a good look on ya, Fitzherbert! Remember you're training the new trainees on criminal etiquette today. Haha,"

The Captain left chuckling all the way, while Lance leaned against the doorway in tears from his now unrestrained laughter.

Eugene knew there could be only one person who could make his hair the ungodly pink color it was right now. He narrowed his eyes and said his name in a dark tone promising vengeance.

"Okay, Varian. It's on."

---

Varian woke up to find Rudiger wasn't in his bed anymore, but he wasn't too worried. He comes and goes through his window all the time. As long as he wasn't gone too long, he would just wait for him to come home.

But, then something fluorescent purple came through his window and Varian gasped in disbelief.

Eugene dared to dye Rudiger with the same potion he disguised as the shampoo. Lance helped him out by sneaking it in his friend’s room. Varian let the raccoon, who wasn't bothered too much by his new look, pounce on him as he laid tangled up his blankets. His body was not moving, but his mind was whirling with new ideas to get Eugene back. This was not a joke anymore, this was war!

Varian didn’t bother to try fixing his furry friend's purple fur. He designed the potion to fade away in a week and any tampering just made the colors get worse. He already has an idea in mind now and he will implement it.... as soon as Rudiger stopped purring and let him leave the comfort of his bed.

---

Eugene woke up to find his room full of apples and all kinds of animals eating them at their leisure. He let out a shriek and fell off the bed in surprise. Luckily, he landed on the ground, and not on one of the cute animals EATING HIS ROOM AWAY.

Someone took a literal pile of apples, leaves, and branches just to toss in his room?! And guess who has a farmer as a father? A certain alchemist! Hmmmmm.... this required more finesse than he had originally thought it would. Well, it would, once Eugene GOT THESE ANIMALS TO LEAVE HIM ALONE.

"Hey! I am not an apple! Stop eating my shirt! It's silk-NO! NOT THE LEATHER BOOTS!"

---

Varian silently ate his breakfast trying not let himself slip up, and admit what he did. His father was mystified on how someone literally stole the top half of his tree, branches, leaves and all!

It wasn't easy, the boy thought to himself as he recalled last night’s events. Using a temporary tree weakening potion, he was able to tear off most of the branches from one of the trees in their orchard without much trouble. An hour later, he snuck out of Old Corona to go to the castle. He used their wheelbarrow to carry the bag with a chunk of an apple tree in it. Lance ran into him on his nightly walk and helped him out cause he thought the whole prank war was funny. The animals that smelt the apple juice trail he left on the way there did the rest.

As soon as Varian finished his food, he left to go to his lab near home. He loved having the Demantius lab for his projects as well, but he didn't mind having a lab this close either, it made it easier to work near home. He only stayed in the other lab for important projects that took all his time and mainly used his lab in Old Corona for less explosive projects.

As he got into his lab, he grabbed one of his potions to plan to use for a prank when he noticed something was off about its color. Varian took a good look at his numerous shelves of tiny containers with all sorts of chemicals. Something was wrong here, he can’t put his finger on it- He let out a loud scream of horror.

"OH MY GOSH…! HE SWITCHED ALL MY LABELS! THAT TOOK ME WEEKS TO DO!"

Varian knew this would take him a long time to undo, he was already dreading the task. He would have to separate them all by color and then test them before relabeling them all. But, for now, he'll just have to make a fresh portion for his uses. He pulled down his goggles over his eyes and a smirk climbed over his face as he got to work.

"Hehehehehehhehe."

---

Eugene smiled as he looked in the mirror. No wrinkles in sight. He's been using this serum he got from Xavier to keep his skin great. Even though the older man told him it wouldn't help him much since he had nothing to worry about at his age, he still wanted to dab a bit of it on his face every morning... and night.

He dipped his fingers inside the oval container and spread the clear liquid on his face. And he went to sleep like a baby.

He woke up and took one look in the mirror and fainted on the spot

*thud*

Lance ran in when he heard the loud noise from his room. They've learned too often that any sudden noise could be a danger.

He paused though once he realized, no, there was no danger. Which was a relief, but now he had to keep from laughing too hard.

Ah, what the hay!

Lance chuckled at his friends previously smooth and perfect skin was now wrinkled like that of an old man's now. His luscious dark hair was a pale grey and barely covered his head. This was his friend's worst nightmare had come true! So he left the antidote Varian gave him, just in case, on the table next to the aging serum. He knew Eugene would be miffed anyway, so why make him suffer any more than needed.

Yet, he did leave a note that says, "Haha! The kid got 'ya good. Hope you don't let him one up a pro like you!"

Lance was sure the yelling he heard later that day was Eugene scheming. He shamelessly added more fuel to the fire, cause hey, this was fun to watch. Lance knew if he wanted too, he could join in any time he wanted to. But, knowing those two, someone was bound to get hurt and he does not want it to be him!

But, he didn’t mind sitting back and watching the fireworks erupt from the sidelines.

---

The castle was getting too uptight lately, nothing like a prank war to loosen things up!

Varian giggled as he read the message Lance sent him by carrier bird. He didn't mind that he gave him the antidote so early, but he didn't realize how frightened Eugene would be and ended up actually fainting

The boy walked into the pumpkin pasture to help his dad when he noticed his dad wasn't by the pumpkin patch, but was looking up at their house instead.

"Hey, dad. Whatcha looking at?"

"Well, son. I found the stolen apple tree, Though now it's part of our roof now. That poor tree. Who would do such a thing?"

Varian looked up and cringed as he saw the remains of the tree he hacked away scattered across their roof. Surely, if they didn't clean it up soon, animals will probably descend upon the food remains, like the crows were doing right at this moment.

Quirin sighed and got ready to climb up the ladder he positioned, but Varian stopped him.

"Dad, I'll clean it up. If you don't get started on the pumpkins, we'll be late for the harvest."

Quirin smiled, ruffled his son's head in a silent yes and got to work on the pumpkins. Varian grimaced and got to work. He spent his afternoon fighting the crows away and cleaning up the apple tree carnage. Rudiger helped, eating any apple bits that remained.

Someone giggled from the bushes near their home before leaving quietly.

---

Eugene smirked as he considered himself to be the winner since he hasn't been pranked in a few days now.

He walked into his room and there was a platter of cookies sitting on his desk. They were shaped like his face and iced to his handsome likeness as well! Though the noses were a little long and pointy, well it's the thought that matters! Eugene spied a little note nearby, with a heart drawn on it! Of course, Rapunzel! Bless her little golden head of hair. The young man took a big bite out of a large-nosed Eugene cookie with a large smile.

"Mmmmmm, delicious! Though I better save the rest for later. I don't want to lose my slim figure. Wellllllll, a few more won't hurt. "

Eugene finished a few cookies before he finally put (hid) the rest away for later. He left his room humming a cheery tune on his lips.

"Hey, Eugene!" Pete called waving his hand as Stan tried getting his partner to calm down as they went on with their patrol.

"Hiya fellas!" Eugene replied, but like he couldn't stop himself, he felt like talking some more than a casual 'hiya' like usual.

"You guys know what, when I first moved into the castle, I was kinda jealous of how close you guys were. Pete and Stan! Never seen without each other. I was jealous because my buddy Lance wasn't with me yet. Ya know, I got over my envy once my best buddy rejoined my life, and realized I shouldn’t have been envious anyway cause you both are great guys!"

The two guards looked at Eugene wondering why he was sprouting his feelings so openly. The ex-convict wondered the same thing before he saw Lance come out behind them. He had tears in his eyes as he smiled.

"Really, Eugene? You really mean it? You really missed me that much?"

"Of course, buddy! You are my best friend! Well, you and someone else are pretty much my best friends. You've always been with me! Even when I was a jerk! I love being your friend so much that I can't help checking in on 'ya at least once a day. I don't want to lose you again! I'm always afraid you're gonna have enough of my idiotic personality and leave! Leave without saying goodbye!"

Eugene was freaking out! He was saying his deepest secrets and concerns to the world! The man dodged Lance's hug and tried leaving before he met someone else.

Instead, he accidentally barged into the throne room where everyone in town were trying to seek the King's council. They all looked at Eugene who just barged in. He tried backing out, but the concerned faces of Pete and Stan, plus happy Lance, blocked his way. Rapunzel approached the group. She placed her hand on Eugene's shoulder.

"Sweetie, is everything fine? You don't look so good."

Eugene wished he could just shut his mouth, but he couldn't stop talking his heart out.

"Rapunzel, I love you and you know that. But, when I first proposed to you, I wasn't doing it because I wanted to make us permanent. I did it because deep down, I'm always going to be afraid I'm going to lose you and the only kingdom that welcomed me in. I was sure you would eventually realize I didn't deserve you and leave! So, I kept trying to propose, each time thinking of our future, but also secretly securing my place in your heart and this family we made. If we ever broke up, I am sure our family will break as well. I love you and this family too much to let that happen!"

Rapunzel was looking emotionally happy and sad at the same time. Eugene didn't want to look at her and tried leaving through another door. But, he kept speaking as he looked at every family face he knew.

"Feldspar! I always loved your boots! Their leather always hugs my ankles just right and I don't trust anyone else to make my ankles look as amazing as they do in your footwear!"

"Old lady Crowley! I know I joke around a lot, but you remind me of the lady who raised me at the orphanage, which is why I ask you for advice once in a while!"

"Monty, Atilla! I love your guys' candy and baked goods! But, I always feel guilty about eating them because I'm worried my fine figure will be gone! They are just that good."

“Xavier, I appreciate the skin serums you made for me, but are you sure they work right? No matter how much I dab under my eyes, my eye bags continue to get worse! Let’s meet up for tea to discuss this before I’m old and grey!”

“Friedborg, you are amazing and don’t you ever let anyone say otherwise! You're secretly the key to why this castle is still standing. Without you in charge, I’m sure this kingdom would have fallen apart ages ago!”

"Max, Pascal. I love you guys, even if I may act like I don't care for you guys a lot. I enjoy my time with you guys and will always be by your side!"

Eugene kept trying to avoid people, this was getting out of hand, but it wasn't working since most of the town was here to ask or inform the king of something. Finally, he bumped into someone and felt the world spin less than before. Then he looked up and realized it was the King, with the Queen by his side.

"Eugene, are you okay?" The queen was deeply concerned. Fredrick was concerned as well, as he helped pull the young man up.

"Is something the matter, son?"

Eugene wished his big mouth would stay shut, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Everything is fine, except for the fact I can't keep myself from hiding my feelings forever. You guys helped bring my life from the dark. Sure, Rapunzel did most of it, but if you guys hadn't opened your home and kingdom to me, I wouldn't be the Eugene I am today. And though I know who my parents are now, you two will always hold a place in my heart. And I can't wait to be the best son in law once I and Blondie get married."

Eugene took a deep breath and turned around as the royal couple took in his words. The Captain opened his mouth to speak, but of course, Eugene interrupted him.

"CAPTAIN. I ALWAYS LOVED YOUR MUSTACHE. IT'S SO MANLY THAT MY GOATEE CAN'T EVER TOP YOUR FACIAL HAIR."

The captain was silent a little flabbergasted and a tad touched. Using this as a distraction, Eugene took the chance to escape. Finally, he was on the other side of the room at this point! He ran out into the courtyard, only to bump into Quirin and Varian unloading crates of apples and pumpkins for the castle. Eugene barely stops himself from running headfirst into the wooden cart.

"You okay there, Eugene?" Quirin asked. Eugene grabs him by his shirt.

"Sir! I love your apples. There are the apples of my eyes. Sometimes I wake up with apples everywhere! And animals. Lots of animals!"

Quirin just blinked in surprise as Eugene moved on to Varian.

"Kid, you're like the little brother I've never had. I love messing with you, even this prank war we've been having has been amazing. My hair is still this hideous pink hair, but I can't help smiling every time I see my own reflection. You looking up to me makes me feel important in your life. I still feel bad for not giving you enough attention in the past and where it leads you. I’m sorry for not being there for you! That’s why I’m here now! I want to make your life happier with me in it! Team awesome will always be important to me!"

Varian didn't know what to say. He was touched he felt these things about him and kind of felt guilty considering he drugged his newly proclaimed brother with truth serum laced cookies. Clearly, Eugene ate the cookies he left in his room, but he didn't expect him to be telling these kinds of truth. He must have had more than a few to be acting like this.

"Varian, what's this I hear about a prank war?" Rapunzel asks from the doorway from the throne room.

Varian nervously met the princess and his father’s eyes. They looked at the two boys in thinly veiled disapproval as the teen looked at the ground while the elder started telling Rudiger about how he isn't a pest and deserves all the kingdoms apples for being there for Varian. The raccoon agreed with him greatly, evidenced by his excited chittering.

"Ummmmmm... we may have been having a war of pranks this week. And it may have gotten out of hand. Eugene is probably under the effects of my truth serum cookies. But, I have the antidote right here!"

The teen looks through his bag for the vial of golden liquid while the king redirects all the people back to their court with him. The Captain made sure the door to the courtyard is closed.

Promptly, Varian pulled out a tube of golden-colored liquid. He swiped an apple from their cart, using his father's dullest blades (under his watchful eyes) to cut the apple in half. He poured a few drops on to one half of the fruit. Once he was sure there was enough antidote in the apple half, Varian offered it out to Eugene.

"Eugene, I'm sorry for this whole mess with the truth potion, I didn’t think it was that strong. Here's the antidote."

Eugene took the apple half, once he bit into it, he already started feeling better as the cloud in his mind dissipated. He stopped cuddling a resisting Rudiger and got up, dusting his clothes

"Oh, that was a doozy. Eh, don't worry about Var. I had fun with the prank war. Next time, we just need to calm it down some. Besides, as the winner of the Team Awesome prank war, you get some .... hot cocoa! And I get some too! Come on, kid."

Rapunzel shakes her head as the two walked off to get some hot cocoa. If she had listened to the rumors around the castle, then she would have put a stop to this war much sooner. But, it seemed like she didn’t have to put an end to things ….. this time.

Quirin continued unloading the cart of produce with a relaxed smile on his face. He’s never seen Varian act like this before. And it was …. relieving. Varian’s never had friends to laugh or mess around with before. Now, seeing him act like a real kid with Eugene, he felt satisfied seeing his son happy again.

---

Varian and Eugene were drinking hot cocoa in the Dementius laboratory under the castle. Rudiger has made them his special drink, in regular mugs at Eugene’s insistence. Now, the two were enjoying their drinks as they compared notes on their pranks on one another.

“So, how’d you get that shampoo potion into my room?” Eugene asked at one point.

“Lance helped me out. He offered when he saw he sneaking around your room,” the teen admitted.

“Hmmmmm….. Lance held Rudiger down for me to dye his fur.”

Varian sat up straighter and continued Eugene’s line of thought.

“He…. helped me get that apple tree in your room. And opened the windows.”

“He helped me put that aging potion in your room.”

“He helped me switch all the labels in your lab.”

“He put that platter of cookies in your room.”

The two looked at each other and they both realized …. Lance has been playing them! They wordlessly started putting away their finished rinks and started to leave the lab.

“I still got them truth cookies in my room,” Eugene offered.

“Good idea. Don’t want them to waste. We’ll force-feed him. Any other ideas?” Varian asked.

The two spent the day together scheming their ideas before implementing them the next day.

Never mess with Team Awesome when they in a mood to prank, whether it is each other or not!

#varian #variantts #varian tangled #tangledvarian #Eugene #Eugene Fitzherbert #tangled eugene #flynn rider #flynnrider #flynnpunzel #tangled #tangled rapunzel #Quirin #tangled quirin #quirintts #tts quirin #team awesome #VarianFanClub

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jaces-senseless-fuckery · 5 years

Text

Strange Seeds

///Hey everyone! I made this story as a request for a friend, after he was able to get some lewd art for my OCs Ebony and Sakura drawn by Zronku! This is based on one of Zronku's drawings, and I hope you enjoy///

Contains: Tentacle vines

Word count: 2008

"Ruby, why did you insist on buying those pumpkin seeds?" Weiss asked her girlfriend, still trying to wrap her head around the decision, "They don't seem right. And that woman you bought them from seemed... strange."

"That just means they're special!" Ruby replied with a big grin as she held the small baggie filled with seeds.

Weiss facepalmed. "They're literally glowing with some weird green energy..."

Ruby looked at the bag and saw the faint green glow coming from it. "Pfft, it'll be fine!" She assured the heiress confidently, "Green usually means good, right?"

"I'm... very sure that doesn't apply to glowing seeds, Ruby."

"You worry too much, Weisscream!"

The two took the seeds home and the whole way there, Weiss was still trying to figure out why Ruby bought the seeds. Something wasn't right about them but she couldn't place it, and Ruby just wouldn't listen so she was forced to go with it for now. And the woman Ruby bought them only just said "Have fuuuun~" when the exchange was made. She sounded extremely relaxed and honestly very high, if Weiss was being honest. They eventually made it back to where they were staying in Mistral, and Ruby pulled Weiss into the back yard to plant one of the seeds in a patch of dirt. Ruby then looked to Weiss expectantly to do her part, and Weiss stared back at her for several moments, her arms crossed. Ruby then put on her best puppydog eyes, and Weiss couldn't hold out against that devastating tactic.

She eventually rolled her eyes and gave in. "Those eyes are a weapon." She said and took out some water dust to use on the seed Ruby planted.

"You know you love me!" Ruby said and stuck her tongue out at Weiss.

"That's debatable sometimes."

"Liar!" Ruby exclaimed and playfully tackled Weiss to the ground, getting on top of her and beginning to kiss her over and over.

"Gah, Ruby! Not here!" Weiss complained as Ruby kept assaulting her lips and cheeks with kisses, "W-we're... Oh fine, dolt~"

Weiss gave in and wrapped her arms around Ruby, and she began to return the affection her girlfriend was giving. They locked lips in gentle kisses for several moments on the ground while the water from Weiss' dust soaked into the dirt, and they were both fully distracted by that as the ground where the seed was planted began to glow green. Vines began to sprout very quickly and grow more and more, and a pumpkin started to grow in the middle of them and soon a face started form on it, looking like the face of a typical jack-o-lantern. The girls had no idea what was happening as they just kept kissing each other, and soon the pumpkin had grown into a massive form and the vines began to cover the ground all around the area, and that's when Ruby and Weiss finally began to take notice.

"Whaaaat's going on...?" Ruby asked, very confused at all the vines that were suddenly around them.

Weiss looked up and saw the pumpkin, and then she caught a glimpse of the rather phallic tips to some of the vines and began to blush. "I-it grew from those seeds, you dolt!"

"Seriously!? Woah!" Ruby let out a yelp as a few vines wrapped around her wrists and knees and lifted her into the air, "O-oh... this is what the seeds do..."

"L-let go of me!" Weiss exclaimed as she was grabbed as well, her arms held behind her back and held her by her legs, and then the pumpkin lifted her up into the air like it did with Ruby.

"Ahhh~! Wh-what are you doing~!?" Ruby yelped once more and shivered as one of the other vines rubbed against her pussy through her panties and her leggings, then another vine snaked its way into her shirt and wrapped around one of her tits, rubbing and squeezing it as another pulled her top down to expose her chest. Ruby began to lightly moan as the other vine kept rubbing her pussy, and then that vine slid down her leggings from the back and pulled them down her thighs, then ripped her panties off. As the garment hit the ground, one of the thick, dick-shaped vines began to poke and prod her lower lips, and bumpy thorns began to grow along its length. They weren't too pointy, but there were a lot of them. The tip of the vine began to really press against Ruby's folds for several moments before it pushed harder and harder, and then it went in.

Ruby's eyes shot open and her mouth gaped as she let out a loud moan, and then she blushed even more furiously before the pumpkin began to thrust the vine in and out of her. Next to her, Weiss was struggling against the vines that held her and both her breasts were exposed and her panties were ripped off as well, and one of the vines still kept rubbing against her pussy, the tip teasing her clit and making her shiver. She didn't know how she felt about what was happening but it was starting to feel really, really good. Looking over to Ruby, she saw her girlfriend was clearly already enjoying it, and that just made her let out a frustrated sigh, and then she jolted when one of the dick vines forced its way into her cunt and began to fuck her hard and fast, the bumps grinding against her inner walls and making her cry out in pleasure.

"F-fuck~! Ruby~!" Weiss exclaimed and began to moan with each movement the vine made inside her, and a couple of smaller vines pulled her top down and exposed her breasts as Ruby's were,, "I told you not to buy those strange seeds-mmph~!?" She was about to say something more but then another dick vine shoved itself inside her mouth and down her throat to muffle her.

She kept moaning around that vine and the pumpkin kept spit roasting her between both of them inside her while Ruby was still getting it from just one vine. Two smaller vines kept caressing her boobs and caused her to let out cute little squeaks every so often, and the tip of the one inside her continued to hit her cervix with each thrust inside her. She tried to force her legs closed from the intense pleasure inside of her but the vines around her knees kept her legs open as her body shivered in their grasp. Her mouth gaped open with her moans and her breasts bounced and jiggled as her body was rocked up and down from the vine's thrusting, and every so often it started wiggling inside of her and it made her squeal each time before she quickly started to cum. She let out a longer and deeper moan into the night as her juices covered the vine inside her and were absorbed into it. That seemed to make the pumpkin very happy and it smiled a bit more with what looked like a bit of drool coming out of its mouth, and it started to fuck both Ruby and Weiss even harder with its vines!

Weiss' eye twitched while she was still being fucked in both her cunt and her throat, gagging over and over around the one in her mouth. Her throat bulged with both the thickness of the bone itself but also with the thorns, and the feeling for the heiress was absolutely amazing. She quickly followed her girlfriend and started to have an orgasm of her own, and she let out a muffled scream of ecstasy and her body shuddered almost violently, her eyes rolling back into her head a bit. The pumpkin absorbed all of Weiss' cum and started drooling more before fucking them even harder, its vines wriggling inside them and causing them to feel even more intense amounts of pleasure.

Neither of the girls could keep their bodies under control, both of them shivering and shaking in the vines' grips. With how fast and hard the vines were fucking them and the writhing movements they made inside their pussies, the girls had one orgasm afte another and their juices just fueled the pumpkin to use its vines even harder on them, and then it just began to sprout more of those dick shaped vines to fuck them. One more went into Weiss' pussy and made her scream in ecstasy around the vine in her throat, and then another forced its way into her untouched rear, and her eyes shot open and rolled even further back as it pushed deep inside her body and began to fuck her and wiggle around. All the bumpy thorns grinded all against her inner walls and her throat, and it just gave her so much more pleasure than before.

For Ruby, she had less vines to deal with but they were still extremely pleasurable. She only got one additional vine and it went straight into her ass as well, making her let out a squeak of surprise before it started to lay into her, both tentacles out of sync with each other and just seeming like they had minds of their own. The vine pushed deep inside her rear and the other continued to pound the entrance to her womb, and all she could do was moan and cry from the absolute pleasure they were giving her. She had never experienced feelings like this before and it was making her go insane! Her mouth began to gape open even more as she moaned loudly and her tongue rolled out of her mouth, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

Finally though, the pumpkin made a pleased groaning noise before the girls felt its vines pulsate and throb heavily inside them. Very soon after that, the tips of the vines erupted and began to pump thick cum into them both. Weiss was forced to try to swallow it down from the one in her throat but it was difficult to do with how much oddly sweet seed it was shooting down her gullet. It soon began to fill her throat to the limit and was forced out past the corners of her mouth while her stomach was also filled from the vine in her ass. From both the cum filling her womb and her stomach at the same time, Weiss' stomach began to bloat a bit before the ones under her stopped cumming, and the one in her throat pulled out and covered her face with the last few strands it had in it as she coughed up a good amount of cum to clear her overstuffed throat.

Ruby felt the vine in her pussy push so hard against her cervix and she let out a loud cry before it started pumping its seed into her womb, filling it with warmth while the one in her ass shot its load straight into her stomach. Little by little, the Rose's belly began to bloat to nearly the size of Weiss' now before the vines pulled out of her, each one's thorns just scraping along her inner walls and making her shiver and cum one last time. The pumpkin let out a deep, satisfied sigh after removing its vines from the couple, and it slowly lowered them both to the ground before its vines began to shrink and retract into the ground under its body.

Ruby and Weiss laid on the cold ground for several long minutes, cum oozing out of them both as the pumpkins face disappeared and it just seemed like it went to sleep. Weiss eventually regained enough of her senses and her eyes corrected themselves, and she blinked multiple times. "R-R-Ruby..."

"Mmmmmmm~" Ruby moaned in response as she still felt her insides aching in the best of ways from everything the pumpkin did to her, "Y-yeah, Weissy?"

Weiss coughed up more cum. "H-h-how many more s-seeds do we have left?"

#ruby rose #weiss schnee #tentacles #magic seeds #non sfw #art trade #rwby smut

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writer-dreams · 5 years

Text

Love Potion (Part 5) (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Part 5 is here now!!!! I'm sorry for the wait!! I hope all if you enjoy!

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / End

Update Tags: @celestialceci @marvelobsessedteen @imaginesforthepeople @danidomm @marvelrose @vogueworthy-barnes @glossysoph @stevesvibraniumshield @bi-mama @fiveisadorable @paulalucianap1 @drama-llama-04 @mellow-delight @hahaboop @awesomehannaha @stantalentstanclc @queenskyster @outsider-underwater @babebenhardy @imaginespnr5er @riddikuluslypotter @pitkins @bughug1999 @drawlfoy @onyxbunny22 @sorgenprinzessin @vivianhuynh77 @dauntlessdracarys

House: You choose

Blood Status: You choose

Warnings: Possible swearing

Note: The reader in this story is female / uses female pronouns

Word Count: 2,514 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3rd Person POV

Day 5

Y/n walked out of the common room, feeling much better after a refreshing night’s sleep. She was glad that there were no classes today, which offered her some time to relax after the horrendous situation yesterday. Y/n scowled at the thought of Pansy. She was going to kill that pug-faced twat one day. Oh, that wench was going to get it someday- Caught up in her thoughts, she crashed into the hard chest of someone. Blinking rapidly in confusion, she looked up and noticed those familiar grey eyes and infamous blonde hair. Draco.

Draco grinned cheekily at her. "Hello, Love. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Oh, fine. My head has stopped spinning and I feel stable enough to be able to walk around properly."

"It’s good to hear that. I was actually looking for you anyway. Walk with me?" Draco asked, flashing a charming smile at her and extending a hand towards her. Y/n’s heart fluttered at his sweet smile, but she managed to return a small grin and placed her hand inside his. Maybe in the beginning of this, she would have been disgusted at even the thought of touching him, but now....it felt almost pleasant to do so.

She thought about how much she despised him in the beginning, and her new-found adoration for him. She wasn’t in love with him, but she wouldn’t mind being friends with him.

Draco ended up dragging her to the black lake. The water gleamed a deep shade of blue, concealing all the creatures that lurked below the surface. The bright sun already high in the cloudless sky, showering them in warm light.

"What are we doing here?" Y/n asked curiously.

Draco gestured towards the large wooden pier that overlooked the lake. He then tugged on her arm and pulled her towards it, like a child excitedly dragging someone to see their greatest creation. The old wood creaked under their feet but Draco didn’t seem concerned. He took a seat at the end of the pier, swinging his legs over the edge. He then looked at her to do the same. She sat down next to him, feeling oddly comfortable in his presence. She felt Draco’s warm hand rest of top of hers but she didn’t pull away. His grey eyes stared intently into her (e/c) orbs.

"Merlin, Y/n. I’m so glad you’re alright." Draco stated.

"Me too, Draco. I don’t think I can thank you enough for saving my life. I owe you." Y/n replied sincerely.

"You don’t owe me anything, Love." Draco took her hand in his as he placed a soft kiss against the back of her hand.

The moment was ruined when the pair heard some footsteps. The loud steps were accompanied by an obnoxious voice that caused Y/n to roll her eyes.

Not again.

"Drakie-Poo! Why do you constantly choose someone like her over me??" The annoyingly high-pitched voice of Pansy Parkinson whined.

"Excuse me, Pug-Face? I’ve had just about enough of you and your jealousy. How many brain cells does it take to understand that he’s not interested? Clearly, you prove it takes more than one."

Pansy’s face twisted into a snarl and she quickly turned to Y/n. She opened her mouth to retort but Draco quickly cut her off.

"Parkinson," He said Pansy’s name in such a cold, hostile manner that Y/n felt shivers run down her spine. "What the hell are you doing here? After what happened last time, I’m surprised you still have the guts to come near us."

"Draco, you have to believe me. She’s drugged you or cast a hex on you or something! Don’t you remember how much you despised her?! How much you hated the very sight of her in the same corridor as you?" Pansy cried out.

Y/n averted her gaze down to the floor. Pansy wasn’t completely off with her accusation. Technically, she had drugged Draco with a love potion. He didn’t really love her, it was all because of a stupid potion. This whole situation was changing her perspective of Draco. She was beginning to fall for a fake version of the blonde-haired prat.

"What is with your obsession with me and Y/n? Even creepier, you claim that I’ve been spelled to fall in love with her? How dare you! You’re just as annoying as Saint Potter. Now leave us be, Parkinson, or I will have my father know about this!" Draco snapped at Pansy.

Pansy gazed down at her black shoes. Her fists were shaking violently at her sides, as if she were trying to keep herself from shouting at Draco. She looked back up and her eyes were filled with pure hatred as she threw a burning look at Y/n.

"I’ve tried everything. I’ve been by your side since forever, I’ve supported you through everything. All of a sudden this twat waltzes into your life and you’ve fallen for her?! Where have all my efforts taken me?!" Pansy said through gritted teeth.

Draco rolled his eyes and nudged Y/n slightly. She looked back at him to see him getting up and walking towards the castle, his back turned to Pansy. "Come on, Y/n. Let’s just leave."

"I pushed her off the Quidditch stands for you!" Pansy shouted before gasping and covering her mouth with her hands quickly.

Draco stopped walking immediately, his whole body visibly stiffening. He slowly turned back around, his bangs covering his eyes.

"What did you do?" He hissed.

Pansy didn’t answer. She stood completely still, as if afraid that the slightest movement from her would cause him to attack. Her stance reminded Y/n of a deer caught in a headlight. Draco switched his gaze to Y/n, who was slightly taken aback by the intensity of his grey eyes.

"Is that true?" He asked slowly. Y/n could see he was trying to restrain himself from lashing out at the Slytherin girl. Pansy looked at Y/n with pleading eyes, begging her not to tell the truth. Y/n knew she couldn’t lie to him and Pansy didn’t really deserve to be saved from Draco’s wrath. She hesitantly nodded, watching as Pansy’s knees buckled slightly, a defeated look in her eyes.

With an enraged look, Draco swiveled back to Pansy, his wand whipped out and pointing threateningly at her. Even then, Pansy refused to move from her spot.

"I can tolerate you annoying us and interrupting our dates. However, I can not tolerate you trying to kill my girlfriend." Draco brought his wand closer to Pansy, who was still frozen with fear, "I wish I could say that this will not bring me great happiness."

With a wicked smirk, Draco shouted, "Densaugeo!" A purple light shot out of his wand and hit Pansy directly in the face. Pansy cried out from the impact and fell to the ground, screaming as she covered her mouth. From between Pansy’s twitching fingers, Y/n could clearly see that Pansy’ teeth were growing longer and longer. She looked almost like a demented kind of beaver. The Slytherin girl scrambled from the ground and rushed towards the hospital wing. Watching the girl’s form grow smaller and smaller, Y/n ran towards Draco and pinched him roughly on the arm. The Slytherin Prince let out a yelp, pulling his bicep out of her grip.

"What was that for?"

"How could you be so foolish? I understand that you only wished to protect me but you’ll be expelled for hexing her!" Y/n cried. She wasn’t sure why she cared so much if he was expelled or not.

"Oh, relax. Pansy would never want to get me expelled. She cares too much," Draco said, "Even if I don’t."

"I’m also sorry that I couldn’t do more." Draco continued, "I want to hurt her even worse than I already have but her family’s part of the Scared Twenty-Eight."

"It’s alright. I think you’ve done enough." Y/n smiled, "Now let’s just enjoy the rest of today."

Draco nodded, allowing himself to be dragged back to the pier. The pair sat down together, back in their original position. Y/n then leaned over and rested her head on Draco’s shoulder, admiring the water. Draco didn’t seem to mind and pulled her body closer to his. Y/n’s mind was swimming with questions. Why was she feeling so comfortable around him? Why did her heart feel so fluttery? Why was she literally leaning on him? Her mind screamed at her to get off of him, though her body didn’t move. Y/n silenced her thoughts, just wanting to enjoy the calming sight of the lake.

"Ah! I’ve almost forgotten!" Draco snapped his fingers, sitting up straight and rummaging through his uniform’s pockets. He then pulled out a crumbled piece of paper, unfolding it and holding it out in front of him. Y/n squinted her eyes to look at the words through the paper in the light. She could make out Draco’s fancy and neat handwriting, though she couldn’t actually read the words that were written. The blonde male caught her stare and flipped the page over so that she could see.

"It’s a poem." Draco smiled at her from the top of the paper. He flipped the paper back before clearing his throat and reciting the poem.

"(Y/n), we haven’t been together for long,

Yet, I feel obligated to write you a song.

To confess the deep affections I hold for you,

And I hope you feel the same way too.

This may seem quick, yet I know you are the one.

You may scoff at me, but my heart cannot be stolen by just anyone.

My feelings for you have changed so much,

Switched with a simple touch.

This love you have given me is a drug,

Intoxicating, addicting and given by hugs.

I assure you that my love for you is not fake,

No, there has been no mistake.

A goblet of pumpkin juice,

Raised to you in truce.

You return the gesture, as if it was planned,

A cup of (f/d) in your hand.

I love everything about you,

I could not say anything more true.

I love how clever you are or how beautiful you always look,

Merlin, if I could write it all down, I’d write a bloody book.

Know that this is no joke.

Your love envelops me like an invisibility cloak.

We’ve stitched our love together with needles and red thread,

It’s about time we’ve set aside our differences and learned to accept them instead.

The world has given me such an amazing girlfriend.

I never want our time together to end.

Love is often called weak, useless, something you should not feel.

You have shown me the hidden strength that love has concealed.

Potions class was where our love first began,

If I were to leave it now, I’d be a mad man.

I wrote this poem for you, filled with endless rhyme,

To show that I love you, (Y/n), until the end of time."

Her heart swelled as he finished. Without thinking, she gave him a tight hug, feeling his body shake as he laughed lightly. Coming back to her senses, she released Draco, feeling slightly embarrassed. She wondered why this poem filled her with happiness while the first poem had disgusted her. What had changed? She used to gag at such a sappy poem, why was she suddenly feeling like she was flying? Why did her heart skip a beat whenever she looked into Draco’s grey eyes? Why did she feel completed whenever she was with him?

She was brought back to reality when she felt Draco kiss her cheek. He pulled back with a grin.

"Did you like it?"

Did she like it? Yes, very much. Even if it was written by Draco, Y/n wasn’t really bothered by that fact anymore. Nobody had ever wrote her a poem, as cheesy as they’ve been. Draco had been the only person to do that.

"Yes." She breathed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They spent a few more hours at the lake, enjoying each other’s company. Although Y/n didn’t want to admit it, she truly did enjoy the date. (She also refused to call it a date). The sun was beginning to set, changing the sky from bright blue to a beautiful mix of yellows, oranges, pinks, and purples. Y/n’s eyes began to feel heavy as she watched the sun disappear behind the mountains.

"Tired?" Draco asked.

Y/n nodded, causing Draco to shift over to allow her to lay her head in his lap. He took off his robe and wrapped it around her like a blanket.

"Sleep." Draco whispered.

Y/n didn’t need to argue, as she found that she was quickly losing consciousness. Before she fell asleep, she let one last set of thoughts ring through her head.

You do realize this is fake right? This side of Draco, this feeling, it’s all fake.

I know, but I’ve already fallen in too deep.

**********************************************

Hello everyone! The long-awaited Part 5 is finally completed. I'm extremely sorry that it took so long. I really hope that this met your expectations. The poem was probably one of the most difficult things to write, though I pushed through because I wanted poems to be a special thing in this series. I'll try my best to be more on time with Part 6. Thank you for reading. Until next time.

-Jade

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 5 years

Text

It’s The Avengers (Halloween)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Halloween Special

For @devilbat ‘s Halloween Saga

Warnings: spoopy stuff?

Word Count: You ever have one of those days when you feel like ‘okay, I can live with my mental ailments. I’ll try to work on them and make the most of everything one day at a time.’ I had that. But then you know what my body did? It did ‘darn it! She’s gonna live normally through this? Oh noooo. We should do something! How about we make her tooth hurt incontrollably for the next one year! *cheer in a stadium* (-_-) Yeah. that happened.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The camera found Bucky walking out of the Dorms and into the lounge, his eyes on his phone as he walked right into a cobweb, his fight response suddenly bursting out as he flailed his hands to get rid of this cursed thing.

"WHAT THE HE-"

Bucky: *looks at the camera with a very tired yet deadly stare* Halloween.

Another camera by the entrance to the lounge caught Scott and Sam strutting in, a chortle leaving their lungs on watching Bucky struggle with the web. "Aha!" Sam clapped his hand in pure delight. "Looks like the web took its first victim."

"What the hell is this?!" Clearly, Bucky wasn't finding any of this funny, trying to jerk away remnants of the web stuck in his hair and on his metal arm.

"Your personal hell," Sam quipped.

"Shut up, Sam," Bucky hissed, while Scott tiptoed back to grab a ghoul mask from the kitchenette counter and put it on and come back to scare an unaware Sam.

Bucky furrowed his brows at Scott but didn't say anything, clearly wanting to see how it unfurled.

Sam was still teasing Bucky when Scott tapped on his shoulder and made Sam turn around to scream one high-pitched scream and punch him right in the nose.

Bucky: *smiles at the camera* Halloween

The Lounge, Later

"Oh my God! Ugh!"

You walked out in your PJs still not fully awake from sleep. The camera swivelled to the seating area to show Peter showing Loki how to make spooky pumpkins and ghoul jars. Both of them looked up to watch you shake your hand vigorously to get the cobwebs off them before walking towards them.

"Happy Halloween, Y/N!" Peter announced at the same time when Tony and Nat walked in with cartons of booze and snacks for the evening.

You rubbed your eyes and yawned a 'whatever' before coming to sit down next to Loki and take his mug of hot tea- which, as usual, was technically yours.

"Don't like Halloween?" Natasha asked you as she set down the stuff on the counter and took out a bottle of Kale juice from the mix.

"That juice is definitely scary," you replied, making Loki chuckle without looking up.

You: I've never celebrated Halloween before? Like partied or decorated with such fervour? I mean, *gestures at her surrounding* it's Halloween. The dead are supposed to rise today. What is the point of celebrating if you don't even get to see at least one ghost today?

*shrugs and shakes head* *sips tea*

Loki: I thought she was scared of ghosts. She had to sleep with Natasha the day we watched that movie about that scandalously ugly doll that... for some reason, a mother thought would be a good present for her daughter. *furrows brows with judgment and looks at the camera*

You: Oh! I'm definitely scared of ghosts. I just have no sense of self-preservation and love to make myself wet my pants in fear. Demons would be cool too. *nods*

"I'd rather see the dead rise," you commented.

"Keep up that attitude and one day all your exes will rise from their graves to pursue you once again," Tony stated, clinking his Kale juice bottle with Nat's. You turned to the camera and shuddered while Peter just shared a look of pure confusion.

"What about you, Loki?" Nat sat down and pointed her bottle at the God. "Ever celebrated Halloween before?"

Loki was already busy with a knife on the pumpkin in front of him. "Well, I have had the unfortunate luck of seeing my brother and father naked-" Tony looked at the camera with eyebrows raised in delightful surprise- "and also having to find out I was adopted, so...yes! I can say I have had the pleasure of celebrating all things terrifying.

You: *surprise still colouring your cheeks* *whispers* You really saw them naked?!

Loki: *looks at you before turning to the camera* I know I shouldn't have said that out loud.

You: *gasps* Can you still recall that memory? *winks at the camera* *presses her lips*

Loki: Oh my G- *scrunches her nose* *closes his eyes*

You: *giggles* Bet it's still vivi-

Loki: It's just like you walking in on Tony naked.

You: *goes blank for a second*

Loki: *smirks at the camera*

You: Oh my God! Ew! LOKI! *frowns with disgust*

Loki: *stands up and walks away*

You: Ew! Ew! Ew! I'm gonna kill you!

"We really need to get some Halloween juice in the two of you," Tony stressed.

"Oh, I'm already on it," Peter added, "Loki's helping me carve the pumpkins. Y/N is gonna take care of the decorations here in the lounge and then both of them are going to help Scott with the punch for the evening party."

You raised your mug in acknowledgement and leaned Loki's way to see what was going on with his pumpkin. The camera did not miss Tony's dad instinct on alert when he saw the space closing between the two of you.

"Huh," you affirmed the pumpkin carving, making Peter and the camera turn to watch Loki having carved a demonic face with the most daunting details- right down to the screaming faces on the horns.

"I love it," you complimented softly with a tender smile on your face turned towards the God, who mirrored your expression.

Peter, on the other hand, had his eyes wide at the pumpkin art.

Peter: *eyes still popping out* Well, that was not scary. At all. *chuckles* I can't believe I love it. *still chuckling* Even though it terrifies me so much.

Tony was literally counting the number of seconds you and Loki had been staring at each other since your compliment. "Okay-" he broke on the twenty-first second- "Y/N, decorations. Chop-chop."

"Right," you responded, your eyes still stuck on Loki, so was that smile, "I would need a Roomba. For...for decoration purposes. Ahem."

Loki raised his brow. Peter went blank with confusion. Natasha narrowed her eyes. Only Tony was the one who exhaled and tilted his head while looking at you.

"You're not drawing an ouija board on the floor," he declared and got up to leave the lounge.

"Mm-hmm." You replied flat.

You: I'm drawing an ouija board and the Roomba is calling ghosts tonight. *evil grin*

Tony: She's definitely drawing that ouija board if she's my daughter. *smiles in amusement* *looks at a distant void* *inhales* She really got my genes. *looks at the camera* *camera pans in* We're all gonna be royally screwed tonight. *chuckles*

Three Hours Before The Party

The camera followed you towards the dorms with the generous amount of chunky black webs in your hands that glowed in the dark. Passing Loki's room you- and the camera along with you- saw the God sitting on his bed reading one chunky book, making you stop short and reverse to his room.

"What are you doing?" You came in and closed the door behind you and threw the question on him without any warning before jumping to sit on his bed.

Loki looked at you with his arched brow, still not putting the book down. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Nope, I was raised without the concept of privacy," you responded flatly before pulling the book towards yourself. "So, why are you not out there helping Peter with...something?"

"I think Peter is doing fine on his own-" he pulled his book back, never even flinching the rest of his lazily- yet somehow still sophisticatedly- placed body on the bed- "and besides I don't see a point in being a part of this evening."

You screwed your nose in confusion.

You: *shouts* I hate Halloween *turns to camera* *normal voice* says the guy who made freaking amazing pumpkin art, two bowls of punch, with and without alcohol which look like the most disgusting liquids on this planet yet somehow taste like punch! Not to mention, he also created the most horrendous spiders and beetles for the spooky display while adding his magic thingy to make the bowls and cups of beverages to make them brew like freaking potions!!!!

*tries to take a lungful of breath*

And he has the audacity to say he doesn't like Halloween?! What the f-

"Who hurt you?" you had to ask.

Loki: A power-hungry figure who adopted me, a mother who didn't stand up against his selfish intents, a titan who wanted to take over the world, his army with daddy-issues that called themselves his children and the green guy who stomped me into the gravel five times like a rag doll. *smiles for the camera*

"No one," Loki replied, burying himself in his book.

"You sure?"

He didn't look up.

The camera watched you look at him with narrowed eyes before turning to look at the shelf of books, getting up from the bed, picking up one and coming back to lie on the bed with a floomf.

Loki lowered his book to watch you spread out on his bed with his copy of The Scarlet Pimpernel. A few seconds of him observing you be extremely quiet went by before he could not take it anymore.

"What are you doing?" he almost sang the question like a threat.

"Hm?" you aced answering the question innocently, "Nothing just reading."

"...why?"

"Oh, no reason. I'm really tired suddenly. I don't think I'll join others at the party tonight."

The book finally dropped.

"What is it with you?"

You pressed your lips and pretended not to hear anything, flipping the page.

Loki clearly had his patience tested for he took your book and held it in his grasp to get your full attention.

"I was reading that," you stated.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I like old adventure stories!"

"Now you're just getting on my nerves," he quipped, throwing both his and your copy on the bedside table, "stop acting like a tick just to make me scratch you where it itches."

You gasped quite lewdly, much to his surprise. "Kinky," you sang, making him look at you with equal amounts of disgust and amusement.

"Sweety," you addressed him, sitting up and moving close enough to have your knees brush with his, "I’m that itch that you can’t scratch all on your own. We both know that you can’t resist it much longer. Just give in, and let me make it all better."

Loki only blinked, the camera zooming in on his face that was trying to hide the trepidation behind that mild shock he just felt. It happened for only a second but his eyes darted towards your lips- that were stretched in a tender smile- before coming back to your eyes.

"So," you whispered to him, removing stray lint from his t-shirt, "what do you say, Loki?"

Loki looked up for a micro-moment, pursing his lips before wrinkling his brows. "I say we should probably worry you didn't just give a heart attack to someone outside that do-"

The bedroom door clicked open with a strong force, barging in a sweaty Clint being held at the legs by Peter and Scott- all of them toppling onto the floor in no graceful way.

"Woah," you gasped, "what's going on here?"

Scott and Peter groaned, helping a very reluctant- and angry- Clint up.

"Lizards!"

"Rats"

"Demons!"

All three of them blurted out in unison, making no sense whatsoever.

"Who said demons?" Loki wondered out loud with pure judgment.

All three of them looked at each other before shrugging their shoulders.

"Just checking in that you guys are...okay," Clint explained with a burst of very discomforting laughter.

Loki cocked his brow at Clint, casually sitting up straight and extending his arm behind you like he was going to embrace you any moment. Clint, of course, noticed it all too well. "Why would we not be okay?"

"Yeah, Clint," Scott asked the archer, mirroring Loki with the crossed arms, "why would they not be okay?"

Clint looked at Scott with a burning bitch face that was ready to obliterate him right that second- something that made Scott back away with his tail between his legs.

"Because," he still had his eyes out for Scott, "I smelled something on fire."

"Your heart," Peter coughed. Loki snorted. You sat there trying to make sense of what was going on.

"Weeell," Peter stressed to grab your and Loki's attention, "you two suddenly went AWOL when you were supposed to help me out with the party planning so we thought we better check on you two."

"So," you intervened, looking at some distant void to make sense of it all, "why were you two at Clint's feet like you were dragging him away?"

"Oh-" Scott waived his hand indifferently- "we were getting him away from the door to give you two some privacy."

You mouthed an 'oh' in realisation while Loki looked at the camera.

Loki: At this point, I'm not sure if Y/N truly doesn't know what's going on or she just elects to ignore it. And this point I'm not sure if Clint is really that unlucky or he just waits in the vents somewhere to pop out the moment he thinks something's that's a big no-no is about to go down. *shrugs* And! At this point, I am very sure I am enjoying every bit of it. *smirks*

Y/N: I'm kinda worried about Clint. Does he miss his alone time with Natasha? Because that poor guy just tries to keep finding excuses to hang out with Loki. The other day Loki and I were trying to complete a Marlyn Monroe puzzle and we were just about to finish it. So, Loki was like, 'I'll give you the fingers, you give me the mouth,' coz we divided the whole thing in half. And I'm about to do it when suddenly *imitates explosion sounds* Clint is walking in with burning eyes, saying, 'I'll break your hand if you...' *pauses* that's it. He looked at the pieces and then looked at us and then stood there for quite some time before asking if he could play with us.

*turns her lips* *whispers* Poor guy.

Halloween Party

The mix of orange lights and dim-lit corners truly brought up the flare of all the Halloween decorations. Wanda and Vision- dressed as Arwen and Aragorn- mixed up drinks for everyone. Tony showed off his post-workout torso in a Roman getup in gold- with the glasses. Pepper graced her swollen belly with a matching Roman dress in red- truly an eye-turner. Sam was G.I. Joe. Bucky was Jon Snow. Steve went for a serum-enhanced Sherlock Holmes- quite famous amongst the ladies the entire night. Pietro went for a Wild Wild West look while Clint was dressed as Captain America for the fun of it. Bruce chose to dress up as Fury- regretting it later that night when Fury showed up (which he did only because he was told about that dress up. Thor dressed up as one of the Valkyries. Rhodey brought in the party with his version of Hades- quite the attention grabber this one, especially with the crown made of small horns glowing like lava. Scott and Peter turned out to be huge fanboys of Captain Marvel, donning the look exactly to the star in the middle of her chest. Natasha graced the lounge with her presence and everyone howled and hooted for her take on Tony Stark- for which, Tony said, ‘he had never looked so hot and deadly ever before’. And you impressed everyone with the classic ensemble of Morticia Addams- bringing in the true queen of the darkness with your attire and that killer red lipstick.

"Ooh," Scott whistled, making heads turn towards the dorms, "and he is the Gomez to your Morticia?"

Loki was all decked up in the most perfect three-piece suit, all black with red inner lining and a tie to go with it.

"Wow," Wanda exclaimed, "you two make a great c-"

"Okay everyone," Tony announced, "time to get those spooky moves on the floor."

"Wait, no," Loki called out after Tony, "I'm Dracula. I'm supposed to be Bram Stoker's Dracula."

Silence.

"But you look more like Gomez than Dracula, man," Sam responded, earning a nod from Bucky- a rare sight for the camera. And Sam.

"No, but I am Dracula," Loki stressed, gesturing at his costume, "though I'm not sure who added this tie and took away the cape."

Scott: *looking at Peter* Did you?

Peter: *shakes head* Did you?

Scott: *shakes head*

Both: *look at each other in confusion*

Scott: Did someone deliberately wanted him to look like Gomez?

Peter: *gasp of realisation* you mean to say there's a third shipper in town?

Scott: *gasps* *looks at an already panning camera with sheer thrill*

Pepper, who was busy with her glass of Safe Sex on The Beach, looked up to see Loki, her eyes going wide in excitement. "Oh my Gosh!" she shouted from the sofa where she was relaxing with a bowl of nachos, "you guys are the Addams! Morticia and Gomez Addams!! Hohohooo!"

"Oh, for the last time-" Loki rolled his eyes- "I am Dracula."

Pepper's smile was still frozen on her face- not as much in her eyes, though- when she replied in the flattest tone, "Did I fucking stutter?"

Tony shared a look with the camera, stretching one corner of his lips in fear.

The camera panned in on Loki's face drained of all emotions.

"I'm Gomez Addams," he finally announced, getting a cheer around the room.

"That's the same man who was in the movie we saw last night, isn't it?" Loki asked you in a whisper once he had taken you aside.

"Mm-hmm. Though the real Gomez is a really handsome husband with always the right words on his tongue to charm his dear wife."

Loki couldn't help but smirk.

"Aaand he's shorter than Morticia."

"Well, then allow me to make your night worth remembering my wonderful wife, Morticia, the most beautiful thing in this horrid night," Loki announced just like Gomez as he took your hands and kissed them.

"Oh Gomez," you responded with the same subtleness and whispering moans as Morticia, mimicking her movements to perfection, "you always know what to say."

"Come, dance with me my love," Loki carried on the character, adding to your joy, "let's show everyone else how it's done."

"Oh, Gomez! You irresistible fool!"

"Only for you, my love."

Both of you passed Tony, who tried his best to smile at the two of you, never letting that emotion reach his eyes before he caught the camera on him, changing the smile to a blank stare.

You: *tousled hair* *buzzed on cocktails made by Wanda and Vision* *smiling like a goofball* *half laid out on the chair* *chuckles* *looks at the camera* Morticia to his Gomez. *flushed with embarrassment* *chuckles into hands*

Loki's Voice: Okay, come on. Let's get you to bed.

You: *happily opens arms for Loki to pick you up*

Loki: *walks into the frame without his suit jacket or dinner jacket* *helps you up* *watches you wobble* *decides to just carry you bridal style* *walks out of the frame* By the Norns, you're heavy!

Your voice: *angrily* Oye!

Loki: I'm never letting you do shots with my brother again.

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orderoftheavengers · 6 years

Photo

A Game of Idiot Balls

Summary: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark decide to settle their differences once and for all with an epic, illegal Quidditch match. But a sinister Durmstrang student spikes everyone’s food and drinks with fire-whiskey and hobbit weed, and hexed all of the Quidditch balls, turning them into literal “idiot balls,” causing all the Avengers to think, speak and act wildly out of character.

TEAM STARK: Captain: Tony Stark

Beaters: Tony Stark, James Rhodes

Chasers: Natasha Romanoff, T'Challa, Vision

Keeper: Friday

Seeker: Peter Parker

TEAM ROGERS: Captain: Steve Rogers

Beaters: Steve Rogers, Clint Barton (using arrow-spells to deflect balls)

Chasers: Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Scott Lang

Keeper: Charon Carter

Seeker: Bucky Barnes

A Tragic Accident

The “civil war” that destroys the Order of the Avengers begins with a disagreement and a badly-aimed fireball.

It’s a deceptively sunny day in October, and students are milling about on the grass, after studies.

“You’re not the guy to make the tough call!” Steve Rogers challenges. “To lie down on the burning coals and let the other guy walk over you!”

“Rogers, it’s wizard’s chess. We’re supposed to sacrifice our pawns to violent deaths for our own agendas. Oh would you look at that, guess my knight and your bishop have chosen to make love instead of war.”

“Stark, I’ve warned you about enchanting my stuff with your perverted humor!” Steve fumes.

He’s still angry at Tony Stark for adding rude speech throughout his sketchbook. Being wizard pictures, the sketches actually say them out loud. From Steve’s schoolbag, one can hear a muffled voice recite, “There once was an elf from Nantucket, who saved all his farts in a bucket. He could get laid with any elf maid, so he lubed up his hand and said—” Steve hastily shuts his bag.

Tony makes a rude retort about Steve’s (lack of) dating life, and things escalate. Soon they have their wands out, and have drawn a crowd.

“Honestly,” Rose Weasley says loudly, “why can’t the Americans teach their children how to wager?”

When the boys expressed their confusion, Rose explains: “Here in the civilized world, when two gentlemen have a disagreement, they solve it with finances, not fists. Make a bet on something, if you’re so eager for competition!”

Scratching his goatee with his wand, Tony ponders, “Okay…What should we bet on?”

Suggestions start coming from the students around them, each stupider than the last.

“Which Quibbler articles are true!” suggests Lysander Scamander, son of Luna Lovegood.

Loki lifts his broom-wand threateningly. “How about whether or not I’ll have ‘performance issues’ this time, Stark?”

A mandrake classmate in Hufflepuff finally suggests, “I am Groot!”

“Don’t be stupid Groot,” says Rocket (a raccoon/niffler hybrid, in Slytherin). “You can’t light a fart on fire, even with magic.”

“I am Groot.”

“Huh? No way, you have not done it before.”

“I am Groot! I am Groot, I am Groot.”

“Fine, go ahead and show us.” Rocket folds his furry arms.

Peter Quill’s eyes flare. “Groot wait—!”

With a flick of his wand, and a mutter of “I am Groot” (which his wand can translate as “Incendio”), the mandrake’s bum lights up. Groot enjoys a moment’s giggle, before the poor plant realizes his entire body is now aflame.

“I AM GROOT!” he is running around the castle, on fire. “I AM GROOOOT! I AM GROOT! I AM GROOOOOOOOT!”

“The fire’s gonna spread!” Steve gasps, pointing at some flames that have already left the mandrake to spread through the grass.

Thinking quickly, Ravenclaw Wanda Maximoff uses her wandless-magic to create a bubble, trapping the flaming Groot in a contained fireball. She carefully lifts the screaming, flaming tree up and away from the crowd… until her hand slips, sending Groot and his fireball into the Gryffindor tower, obliterating it.

Luckily no humans are killed, but a many hours of homework and a couple of pets are lost.

A mustached house-elf with glasses, irritated by the mess he must now clean up, yells down from the tower, “Don’t make me come down there, you punks!” The Potter Accords The incident inspires the Ministry of Magic to take action, in the form of the Potter Accords.

This controversial new document puts heavy restrictions on the way teen wizards and witches are allowed to go about solving mysteries and saving the school from evil.

Quidditch now has safety rules; deadly creatures larger than three meters are now required to sleep outside the castle; heroes under the age of 15 will need signed permission slips to solve deadly mysteries or fight dark wizards; the moving staircases are now required to have railings; and applicants for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor must now pass background checks.

Tony, having recently been guilted by a Durmstrang student who lost her owl to Ultron, and has been dumped by Pepper for being “too out of control,” is desperate for a chance to alleviate himself from of some of the guilt he’s been building up over the years. So he voices his support for the Potter Accords.

Steve on the other hand fears the Accords might contain an agenda, and he hates agendas. He joined the army to fight agendas. He refuses to sign.

Duty-bound Gryffindor Jams Rhodes argues with gut-following Hufflepuff Sam Wilson over the issue. Vision begins a logical argument in favor of the Accords, and ends up on a tangent about all of the plot holes in “Harry Potter.” This in turn leads to a lengthy debate on how responsible of a headmaster Dumbledore really was, which circles back to the Accords. The Avengers are beginning to break apart.

Long Live the King

This Halloween, Hogwarts hosts a special banquet for the adults deciding on the Potter Accords. Nicodemus Fury is unable to attend, busy battling some basilisks on a Muggle airplane . But many parents and guardians are present, including King Odin; Peter Parker’s Muggle Aunt May; and King T’Chaka, whose son T’Challa is attending Hogwarts this year as an exchange student.

T’Chaka is giving a toast to a peaceful semester, when suddenly, one of the decorative floating Jack-O-lanterns shrieks, “LONG LIVE THE DARK LORD!” and explodes in a fireball. Among the casualties are the drummer for the Weird Sisters; another Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher; and King T’Chaka.

Evidence points to one Hufflepuff vampire student named Bucky Barnes.

“Evidence” here meaning, “a fuzzy wizarding photo, of such poor quality that you can barely even make out the middle finger the blurry figure is waving at the camera.” Vice-Headmaster, and Head of Gryffindor House, Thaddeus Ross, and three of his underlings, have personally asked the wizard-photo who he was, and the blurred photo assured them: “I’m Buck Rogers and I bombed Hogwash! I mean Hoggle-wart! Whatever it’s called. I’m that vampire guy who’s friends with that hot Yank with the blue-green eyes. I��m not an embittered Durmstrang kid trying to f*ck with you all, I’m Bucky Barnacle, also known as the Winter Solstice, and my prank-pumpkin killed the king of Anaconda! I’m dangerous hooligan that needs to be corrected! And to those mourning, I highly recommend the pumpkin juice and chocolate frogs. They’re sure to clear your heads.” The experts, having already overdosed on the unusually addictive pumpkin juice and chocolate frogs, express surprise at the Winter Soldier’s Eastern European accent, which Bucky had never displayed before. Nevertheless, the Dementors float over to the Hufflepuff table and snatch up the young vampire, just as he is reaching for the bowl of plums. Poor Bucky is swiftly muzzled and chained to a kinky iron chair, and magically transported up to the Third Floor for his detention, while his fangirls around the castle look on. The Idiot Balls Snowball… Bucky professes his innocence, but is assigned detention for a “careless and dangerous prank that cost lives.” His detention is supposed to involve working on homework with a tutor—a Ravenclaw nerd no one had seen before. The Ravenclaw turns out to be an invading Durmstrang student named Helmut Zemo, cleverly disguised with a pair of glasses. Zemo Imperius-Curses Bucky into going on a vampire rampage throughout the school. Steve finally punches Bucky back to his senses in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, where Sam catches up to them. The trio quickly deduce that Zemo is behind everything. In any other installment of this series, they would rush to communicate the situation to the other Avengers. But instead…. "We can’t trust Tony.” Sam declares. “Huh?” Steve stares at his friend. “Where did that come from? Have you ever even said two words to Tony?” “He won’t believe us.” Sam presses. Steve just gapes at Sam. “…Tony…whose own mentor betrayed him, won’t believe that the suspicious nerd we all just met is a bad guy? Tony, who witnessed Clint and Erik mind-controlled by Loki, won’t believe that Bucky was mind-controlled?” “Even if he does believe us,” Sam continues dramatically, “The Accords might not let him do anything.” “Let him?” Steve laughed. “Okay, I know Tony’s in a ‘follow the rules’ mood at the moment, but do you seriously think Tony Stark would let that stop him from helping us in this situation? Tony, who carried a NUKE for the whole planet and almost died to save all our asses? What’s gotten into you, Sam?” “It doesn’t matter,” Sam says distantly. “For I am you, and you are me, is he as she as we can be.” The spiked food and drink suddenly hit Steve too, and his eyes widen in understanding. “If everybody is nobody, than nobody can be anybody!” Bucky finishes, “I am the walrus!…Geddit? Cuz I’m a vampire, and I has fangs… okee-day I’ll shuddup now.” Steve proceeds to barely ever mention the crucial issues at hand to Tony and the others. Who in turn, never once bother to ask what the heck is going on. Instead, both sides focused their arguments on the Potter Accords, and stumble forth through their “civil war” like idiots. Pointless, drunken arguing eventually leads Tony and Steve to finally agreeing on a wager: whether or not Tony can find a better Quidditch Seeker than Bucky Barnes. Tony sets out to find that Seeker, and both boys start recruiting for their Teams… Picking Teams: Before teams can be arranged, Thor and Bruce Banner are given a detention by the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher (yes, they got another one that fast). This completely pulls them out of the action, unable to participate in the “Civil War” Quidditch match. Tony and Steve agree that the two teams need and equal number of players, as well as one token female Avenger and at one token Black Avenger, each. Falcon laughs, “Imagine if this hadn’t been a planned sport, and had just randomly worked out that way!” Rhodey chuckles, “You’d be more likely to stumble on a recording of one of the Winter Sorcerer’s top-secret missions!” A knut is tossed to determine who gets Natasha, and Tony wins, putting Wanda on Steve’s team, despite her currently sharing Tony’s motivations. But after so much spiked pumpkin juice and butterbeer, almost none of the Avengers are thinking very hard about logical motivations anymore. “Rescuing” Wanda: Already tickled pink (scarlet?) not to be in Azkaban for her past crimes, Wanda is relieved that her only punishment for obliterating that Gryffindor tower is a normal detention in her own Commonroom, under her House Prefect and boyfriend Vision. They decide to study for Home Mag. class, baking pumpkin cake using levitation. A bespeckled, mustached house elf named Stanley delivers the ingredients. Unbeknowenced to Vision and Wanda, but knowneced to the audience, this “house elf” is in fact villain Helmut Zemo, disguised with the Polyjuice potion. The cake mix he gives them is laced with Hobbit Weed from the Shire, and the butterbeer is spiked with Firewhisky from Rosmertta’s. Later on, Hawkeye—already suffering the effects of Zemo’s spiked refreshments—leaps down from the vents into the middle of the Ravenclaw commonroom. “A little tall for a house elf?” Wanda snarks, as Clint brushes dirt and rubble off of his robes. “My name’s Clint Barton, I’m here to rescue you!” Clint says theatrically. Wanda shakes her head in confusion. “Rescue me from what? Baking cake in a luxurious common room with my boyfriend? It’s a bloody miracle I wasn’t in Azkaban even before all this!” She takes an angry bite of the freshly baked pumpkin cake. “And really Clint, I’m kind of appalled that you of all people—the family man, who taught me responsibility and all that—are trying to get me to break out and go criminal, much less now of all…of all……” Her voice becomes distant and dramatic, as the drugs in the cake begin to take hold. “…of all the commonrooms in all the castles in all the world…he walks into mine.” Vision watches in bafflement as Wanda abruptly switches from sensibility to…whatever the hell had gotten into Clint. “Wanda,” Vision warns, “If you do this, they will never stop fearing you.” “I can’t control their fear, only my own.” “I….I think that just may be the stupidest response to a call for responsibility I have ever heard in my short life,” Vision replies. “Though that is kind of a nice inspirational quote, out of context. Maybe hold onto that line and save it for a more appropriate sce—” “STUPIFY!” Wanda cries with a flick of her hands. Her wandless spell sends poor Vision flying through the stone floors of Hogwarts, down to Moaning Myrtle’s toilet, where he is flushed into the lake and swallowed by the Giant Squid. Wanda follows Clint to the Quidditch field, where the Avengers prepare for the most epic, illegal, drunken Quidditch match ever. Pressuring Peter Parker Meanwhile, Tony is doing some “recruiting” of his own. First-year Peter Parker enters the Ravenclaw commonroom to see a big scary seventh-year with an evil looking goatee flirting shamelessly with Aunt May, on one of the long, blue, eagle-footed sofas. The adult Muggle woman laughingly dismisses the high schooler’s dirty flattery, with comments about not wanting to end up in prison or on “Opra.” Wow, Peter thinks, this kid’s got some balls. The only person in all of Hogwarts stupid enough to try hitting on an adult Muggle would have to be—

“Oh my god,” Peter gasps. “You’re Tony f*cking–!” “Ha! I wish.” Tony says jovially, while Aunt May makes a dismissive Oh you, gesture. “Peter!” Aunt May smiles over couch. “You didn’t tell me Tony Stark was tutoring you!” “I was just telling her about that essay for Medieval Troll Literature I proofread for you,” says Tony, while making a subtle face. Playing along, Peter stammers, “Um, yeah, those Trolls are always really big on spelling and grammar.”

Tony and Peter go up to the latter’s dorm, supposedly to look at Peter’s “troll essay.” Once they’re alone, Tony whips out a Wizard Card. “Question of the rhetorical variety…. that’s you, innit?” On the card is a moving picture of Peter, done up in his spider cloak and hood, kicking ass. Below is a short description of the mysterious “Spider Wizard,” and his various talents, which include “flying tricks that make Harry Potter look like a tool.” After some adorkable quivering, Tony finally gets the truth from Peter. “So why do you do it?” Tony asks. “What makes you willing to undertake all the crap Harry Potter did, with none of the sidekicks and helpful mentors and direct recognition he had?” Peter stammers, “Well, when you can do the things that I can do…and then you don’t…and then the bad things happen….it’s your fault…” Tony frowns. “Why do you sound so awkward? Do I intimidate you?” “No. It’s just…. there’s a specific sentence that explains, exactly, why I’m the Spider Wizard. But whenever I try to say it I…. I can’t. It’s basically along the lines of me having these huge advantages, and needing to use them.” “You mean like, 'With great powder comes great redundability?’” Tony blinks and shakes his head. “Wow, tongue-tied! What I meant was, with great Shamwow comes great resale ability–” he pauses again, baffled by his own misbehaving mouth. “See? You can’t say it either! It’s like there’s some kind of magical block on that specific sentence, so no one can ever say it!” Tony strokes his goatee thoughtfully. “Seems like a Copyright jinx…Bastards. Anyway,” Tony lifts his wand, “Accio Upgrade!” Several shattered windows, five toppled book shelves, two unconscious first-years and one screeching cat later, Peter is geeking out over his shinny new broom and magical cloak, with special enchantments to keep his identity and body protected. The Slytherin sixth year then blackmails the little Ravenclaw into joining him in an illegal Quidditch match that afternoon. “But aren’t first years banned from playing Quidditch unless they’re Harry Potter?” Peter asks as they fly towards the Quidditch pitch. “I dunno, maybe.” “Could you like, go to prison for making me do this?” “Possibly.” “Cool! We’re outlaws!” “Er…. yeah… the law… the thing I was fighting the Cap about….erm……….. So! Ready to prove you’re a better Seeker than Barnes & Noble?” “Yes sir!” the first year says eagerly. Black Panther Newly crowned King T’Challa believes Bucky killed his father, and vows revenge. When Steve and Tony approach him in the Courtyard, T’Challa agrees to the match and joins Team Stark, purely so he can avenge his father.

“The Black Panther has been the protector of Wakanda for generations. A mantle, passed from warrior to warrior. And now, because that little sh*t incinerated my father, I also wear the mantle of king. So, I ask you Rogers… as wizard, warrior and king… how long do you think you can keep your blood-sucking little Emo safe from me?” Steve can only stare blankly, not so much out of fear for Bucky, as horror over seeing another Gryffindor stealing his gag of dramatic speeches…and doing it infinitely better.

Tony points out, “Well I’ll have to ask you to wait until after Parker catches the Snitch to kill Barnes—”

“I will not kill the vampire,” T'Challa swears solemnly. “I will put the wooden stake of my broom through his undead heart, as I tear his head from his shoulders using only my Vibranium jaws, painting the land crimson in a symphony of vengeance and justice for my father, my kingdom, and centuries of colonization.”

By now even the giant squid is staring silently, as is Vision, who is dripping wet and dangling from one tentacle by his ankle. Tony adjusts his purple shades. “So that’s a yes? Sounds good. We meet at the Quidditch pitch right after dinner.” A Sinister Enchantment By they time they reach the Quidditch pitch, everyone has had a taste of stupidity. Before supper, Zemo secretly poured Firewhiskey into the pitchers of pumpkin juice and all the bottles of butterbeer, and fed Hobbit Hemp to all of the chocolate frogs. But it’s about to get much, much worse. Because Zemo has also put jinxes on all of the Quidditch balls, turning them into literal “idiot balls.” A different jinx is cast on each ball. On the Quaffle, Zemo casts Dramatis Personae, a sinister spell that causes anyone within three miles of the ball to speak and act overly dramatic manner, at the cost of common sense. On one Bludger he casts Sequelitis, which exaggerates the victim’s personality traits to idiotic proportions, and on the other Prequelitis, which makes people say and do things that contradict common knowledge about their own history. And on the Golden Snitch, he cast the most insidious curse of all: Fratres Russo, the spell that erases the victim’s human empathy, for the sake of all of the above-mentioned spells’ ends. Resuming his house-elf disguise, Zemo lurks below the bleachers to watch his work unfold. Let’s Get Ready to Rumble! The Quidditch bleachers are filled with blazed classmates, and even a few professors. (You can bet the Grand Master found a way to attend both this and his other blood-sport at the same time, with the help of a Time Turner.) Throughout the game, the teams’ supporters blast muggle music from the stands: Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man,” and the theme to “Team America, World Police,” attempting to drown each other out. Before the game begins, Tony flies out into the middle of the field on his “iron broom,” and announces: “Before we do this, let’s go over the ground rules.”

Everyone listens intently, except Steve Rogers and Charon Carter, who are kissing drunkenly.

“Rule Number One!” Tony bellows sternly. “There will be no touching of the hair or face…”

Steve chimes in, “And that’s it! Now lets do this!”

With this being the only rule, T’Challa sees no reason not to take on his Animagus form, and leaps from his broom at Bucky Barnes, while the vampire races Parker to the Snitch.

“You’re a vampire with a robot arm?” Peter exclaims at Bucky. “That is awesome dude!”

“It’s not robotic, it’s enchanted armorAAAAAAA!” Dodging vibranium claws, the little vampire shrieks under his rock-star hair, “FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN’S MAGICAL BALLSACK, I DIDN’T KILL YOUR FATHER!” “Then why did you run?!” the panther demands in a growling voice, taking another swipe. “BECAUSE A GIANT PANTHER, HORNY TEENAGE GIRLS AND A LITERAL ARMY ARE TRYING TO TEAR ME LIMB FROM LIMB! WHAT THE F*CK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!” Bucky dodges the cat once more, and yells hoarsely to the universe, “All I wanted this morning were some f*cking plums!” Meanwhile, Friday and Charon Carter both give up on their jobs as Keepers, since on the rare occasion that a ball of any kind actually comes anywhere near the hoops, it is often not even the Quaffle. As tensions and blood-alcohol levels continue to rise, so does the anger and the violence. “God Tony, I can’t believe you pressured a kid into fighting your dangerous war!” Steve Rogers accuses, as he hurls a massive thestral-carriage onto Peter Parker.

The “Spider-Wizard” catches the carriage in both hands, losing the Snitch, and tosses the vehicle into the bleachers, where it crushes Galaga Guy.

Tony yells back to Steve, “At least I’m not snogging my ex-girlfriend’s niece, perv!” “No,” Steve counters, “just your surrogate little brother’s aunt. Freak.” “He’s got you there!” a tiny voice bellows from the bristles of Tony’s broom. “Who are you?” Tony searches for the speaker. “Your sex life,” Scott Lang, in ant-nimagus form, replies. “We don’t talk much anymore.” During the action, Vision accidentally hits Rhodey with a curse that transforms him into a merman. Unless this curse is reversed, Rhodey will never walk again. Tony is coming closer and closer to his breaking point… Steve is headed for Team Stark’s hoops with the Quaffle (forgetting that he’s supposed to be a Beater right now, and not a Chaser). Black Widow soars over on her broom and stops in front of him. The Quaffle that Steve holds is still enchanted with Dramatis Personae.

“You’re not gonna stop, are you,” Nat breaths dramatically, as the Quaffle’s jinx radiates at her. “Power to the people,” Steve replies with an intense stare. “Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants.” In the most cliched way she can muster, Nat sighs, “I’m gonna regret this…” She takes out her wand, and transforms her own team’s Keeper, Friday the snake, into an orange basalisk, now much too heavy for the tiny broom Tony built her. As the goalie plummets to the ground and Steve scores, Tony hollers at Natasha, “What the hell was that? Is the double-agent thing just hard to shake?” Nat glares at him. “Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one minute?” Tony bobs in the air on his broom, baffled. “Okay, I’m not denying I have an ego the size of Jupiter, but what the hell does that have to do with anything right now?” Breathing deeply, Nat retorts over dramatically folded arms, “I’m not the one who needs to watch my back.” “…what?” Nat shrugs. “I dunno, I’m stoned.” She pulls a chocolate frog out of her robe and offers it to Tony. “Pot-frog?” “What in the hell are you—Ooo, don’t mind if I do, thanks!” Tony lets the stoned frog leap into the air and twirls on his broom underneath, catching it in his mouth. Later on, no one can clearly remember how the game really ended. The one thing everyone can agree probably wasn’t a hallucination was Scott Lang, in his “ant-nimagus” form, taking someone’s “Engorgio!” charm, and growing from a regular ant to a “Them!” ant. Peter Parker then recalled the muggle film “Empire Strikes Back,” and used his own Animagus powers to web Scott’s six legs together, just as the latter was reenacting a Monty Python skit with one of the Quidditch stands. (Said skit being the one with the giant Siamese cat.) Peter then snagged the Snitch, and Tony’s team won. Peter, still holding the Snitch, is now doing a little dance.

Under the conditions of Steve and Tony’s bet, the losing would team take the blame for the illegal Quidditch game, should any teachers ask. Vice-Headmaster Thaddeus Ross did ask, and assigned all of Team Cap a detention of a sadistic sort.

“For the next month,” Thaddeus says sadistically, “You’ll all be imprisoned in the Giant Squid, at the bottom of the lake!”

Steve opens his mouth to protest. Just at that moment, Peter Parker, still dancing on his broom, enthusiastically throws the Snitch behind him. The tiny golden ball goes flying right into Steve’s opened mouth, knocking him backwards into Bucky. Both tumble off of their brooms, and plummet below the bleachers. How Not to Handle Your Teammate Seeing His Parents Killed By Someone Standing Right Next To Him, And In the Same Instance Learning His Comrade Also Standing Next to Him—You—Knew All Along By sundown, everyone within a thousand-mile radius of Hogwarts is roaring drunk, and higher than a hippogriff. The Avengers have just spent several hours handling those jinxed Idiot Balls. But the worst victim of the Idiot Balls was Steve Rogers, who has accidently swallowed one. The worst one—the Golden Snitch. After speaking with Sam in the Squid-Detention, Tony finally realizes that Zemo is the bad guy. He bids his Quidditch opponents goodbye, as the Squid coughs him back up onto dry land. Whipping Squid slime off his robes, Tony mounts his broom, and goes to find Steve and Bucky. Steve and Bucky are chasing a chocolate frog, that tells them it knows where Zemo is. It leads them to the Forbidden Forest. As the sun sets, the frog takes them further and further into the Forest, finally stopping at a glowing stone basin. Tony catches up on his broom, and starts to apologize to them. But suddenly, his broom gives a strong jerk, throwing Tony head-first into the Pensieve. The Peniseve contains one of Bucky’s own missing memories, from his time as the Winter Sorcerer. This is how Tony learns that his parents did not die by accidently aparating into a werewolf’s den, as the Daily Prophet had reported. They had apparated safely to their vacation destination, only to be greeted by one of Howard Stark’s old friends, now a vampire that seemingly didn’t recognize him. When the Pensieve dumps Tony back into reality, he understandably snaps. And yet, Tony never takes any of the ample chances he has to blast Bucky’s or Steve’s heads off, instead going for throttling and blasting metal arms off. It’s almost as if he’s simply having a human reaction to something traumatic, rather than genuinely trying to murder anyone. But Steve is still being influenced by the golden idiot ball he swallowed. After mentioning Bucky’s mind-control situation once (in a bored voice), Steve never brings the issue up again. Instead, he spends the rest of the fight bellowing corny lines at Tony, like, “This won’t change what happened,” and “I could do this all day!” The enchantment on the Snitch he ate now has Steve viewing Tony as another generic villain, in need of generic heroic lectures, instead of a comrade who’s just watched his parents get killed by someone standing right next to him (and in the same instance learned the other guy standing next to him knew for ages and kept it from him). “Steve, seriously!” Bucky yells, as Tony blasts off his metal arm, “If you’re not gonna mention my mind-control to him, then just stop talking!”

Ignoring him, Steve heroically holds up his fists and bellows to Tony, “I could do this all day!” “You already said that!” Tony snaps, aiming his wand for another blow. Steve retorts, “Down with the Empire! Remember Alderaan!” and punches Tony repeatedly in the head….in the exact same manner Tony has just watched Bucky kill his father with in the Pensieve.

Shockingly, Tony remains pissed. With a finally corny cry of, “Gondor lives!” Steve breaks Tony’s his wand in half with his shield, ending the fight. Which, in total, lasted about twenty minutes, if that. About the amount of time one might expect a blind rage from someone in Tony’s position to last. Tony then shouts his famous, “That shield doesn’t belong to you!” line. At this point, a sober Steve Rogers would come out of his rage and realized that Tony was now incapacitated, visibly cooling down, and still conscious, and that this was the opportune moment to apologize, remind Tony of Bucky’s mind-control, and get everyone back on track against Zemo. But that Golden Snitch, oozing with the Russo curse, still flutters around Steve’s innards. So instead, Steve dramatically! drops the shield, and heads off into the Forest with Bucky. To Steve’s credit, his Gryffindor chivlary prevailed when he dropped the shield he was “unworthy” of; his common sense and empathy just… didn’t. A Royal Hairball T'Challa is perhaps the only individual who clearly remembers leaving the Quidditch field that day.

Near the end of the game, he had Bucky in his claws. The Animagus opened his panther jaws to begin another epic speech of revenge. But instead of powerful words, out of the panther’s mouth came pained, wheezing gags. Bucky just stared emo-ly under his rock star hair. T’Challa motioned with a paw that he had to excuse himself from the game. The panther leapt from broom to broom until he reached the bleachers, then rushed underneath them to cough up a violent hairball. Up with the hairball came most of the Firewhisky and Hobbitus Cannibus that he had been unknowingly ingesting all day. His head now clear, T'Challa has been reflecting on the day’s events. He recalls that when the suicide-pumpkin detonated, Bucky Barnes was sitting next to him, snogging Steve. And now that he thinks about it, Barnes doesn’t seem have any trace of a European accent. Could it be that the man evil enough to murder his father might also be evil enough to lie about his identity? Still in panther form, T'Challa begins sniffing for clues… T’Challa finds his way to the Forbidden Forest, where he sees Steve, Bucky and Tony fighting, and Zemo cackling from behind a bush. The panther catches the culprit, and gets the truth from him at claw-point. Helmut Zemo is an embittered and eccentric Durmstrang student, who blames the Order of the Avengers for the deaths of his imaginary wife Gwendolyn, and their three imaginary children, Huey, Dewy and Damocles. Vowing revenge, Zemo set out to destroy the Avengers from within. T'Challa’s Gryffindor chivalry now comes to light, and he realizes, “You have let revenge consume you. It has consumed them. I’m finished letting it consume me.”

T’Challa, still in panther form, drags Zemo back to Hogwarts like a dead mouse, and delivers him to the Dementors. T’Challa later apologizes to Bucky, and offers the vampire amnesty in the secret wizarding nation of Wakanda. Prison Break! Soon after the fight with Tony, Steve belches back up the Golden Snitch. As his head clears, Steve realizes how stupid he’s been. But Tony’s already gone. Steve focuses on the comrades who need his help right now. Sam, Clint, Wanda and Scott are still serving detention inside the Giant Squid’s stomach. Coughing up the Snitch has given Steve an idea.

Steve returns to the lake, and with raised fists, yells and the Squid to come face him like a man. The Giant Squid obliges. Steve then drops his dukes and whips out his wand.

“Accio Nausea Fuel!” A Muggle television set comes soaring forth in from who-knows-where. Playing on the TV is a movie, incidentally staring a relative of Zemo’s: “The Human Centipede.” The Squid is soon puking Steve’s teammates back up, one by one. When Thudnerbolt Ross contacts Tony about the jail-break via the Floo Network, Tony “accidentally” dumps the contents of his snakes’ litter boxes into the fireplace, “missing” the call. How Not to Apologize: Steve then writes an apology letter to Tony, or tries to. Unfortunately, Steve is still half-drunk when he pens and mails the letter, and still suffering some residual effects of the Idiot Balls, particularly Dramatis Personae and Fratres Russo. As a result, Tony ends up reading an embarrassing vanity project about Steve’s life and philosophical musings, spattered with lazy and cliched justifications. Tony finds it particularly ironic that Steve dodges giving him an honest explanation for keeping the information about his parents from him, in the letter where he is “apologizing,” specifically, for keeping information from Tony. Not long after, no one is surprised to see Tony Stark strolling out of the girl’s bathroom, whistling over the sound of a flushing toilet and an angry Moaning. But people are a bit confused when Tony throws up his hands and says, “Great, now I got ink all over my butt!” Separate Ways: Everyone on Team Cap is expelled from Hogwarts, as is Natasha, who violated school dress code one too many times. Hawkeye and Scott Lang finish their education from home through owl correspondence courses. Charon Carter returns home to America. The rest join Steve Rogers in forming an independent study group in Hogsmeade, to finish their schooling. Tony continues tutoring Peter Parker, both for normal classes and being an Avenger. He gets himself much-needed psychiatric help, and gets back together with Pepper. In Wakanda, T’Challa’s brilliant sister Shuri builds an impenetrable, magic glass coffin for Bucky, and begins working on a way to make him immune to the Imperius Curse. Once cured, Bucky takes work tending the flocks of thestrals on the Wakandan castle grounds. “How does it feel to come so far…?” Ministry Auror and former Ravenclaw student Everett Ross stops by Helmut Zemo’s Azkaban cell for a gloat. “So,” Everett teases, “How does it feel to come all this way, only to fail?” “Did I?” Zemo replies sinisterly. “An empire that is defeated by its enemies can rise again, but one that crumbles from within, that is dead.”

“And what’s that got to do with this?“ Everett asks. "The Avengers only crumbled due to an outside enemy—you.” A cruel smile begins to spread on Zemo’s face. “Only because I exposed the true nature of the Avengers.” “If this was about their ‘true natures,’ then why did you have to get them all to act so out-of-character, and inhumanly stupid, in order to make this ‘civil war’ happen?” Everett retorts. Zemo says quietly, “where do you think I got the Firewhisky and Hobbit Weed to spike their food with? who do you think taught me those jinxes, to turn the Quidditch balls into Idiot Balls?” Everett can only stare, now totally lost. Zemo sneers, “From the writing staff! My goal wasn’t just to destroy the Avengers as a team, but as a franchise! Yes, peering beyond the Forth Wall is an especially difficult form of Divination, which I have mastered! Today, I exposed to the entire audience how little the writers truly care about their characters, story or audience, if there’s a chance for cheap ‘drama’ and cartoonish fanboy-service! The MCU’s worst film, in any universe, has exposed to all the fans that this is nothing more than a cheap popcorn franchise. Watch now as the superhero genre loses its steam, and begins to collapse from within. Look at the DC movies, it’s already happening!” Everett can only stare at the sad, strange little man behind the barred window. Azkaban truly does drive its prisoners to incurable madness. Shaking his head, Everett takes his leave.

AN: Guess what my least favorite Marvel movie is. And those naysayers said I couldn’t write an AU fic, a parody, and a movie review all in one post!

#helmut zemo #tony stark #bucky barnes #captain america: civil war #quidditch #hogwarts #hogwarts au #Hogwarts house #captain america civil war #Fix-It #parody #review

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azkaabanter · 7 years

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Can I request a Fanfic. Of like, Draco or Harry drinking Felix Felicis and then heck they kiss and wow fluff. That was a terrible description I'm sorry.

Draco Malfoy had done enough. At least… he thought he had. Considering that the potion he was competing for with the rest of the 8th year Slytherin class could literally change his life, he did as much as humanly possible to get HIS potion correct.

But now looking back on it…

‘What if I stirred 32 times instead of 33?’

'What if I added too much acromamtula venom?’

'What if-’

“Time’s up!” Professor Slughorn bellowed in glee, looking around at the room of sweaty and thoroughly exhausted students, every one of them fretting over their bright pink bubbling potion. “Amortentia is a very tricky potion indeed-” he looked around the room at the people smelling the air and grinned. “Especially when there is more than one batch being made per room.” Draco rolled his eyes and looked down at his delightfully scented bubblegum pink potion-

He’d never say it outright, but his amortentia smelled like… well…

broom polish… vanilla shampoo…

Particularly Quidditch sweat…

Pine needles…

In summary, basically it smelled like Potter. And Draco hated it.

“This looks quite promising, Mr. Malfoy.” Slughorn praised the blonde, earning himself a proud smirk.

“Thank you, Professor.” Draco said, then proceeded to watch closely as the Potions Master tested his brew on a pair of mice. Apparently the Professor liked what he saw, because when he grinned and straightened up, he cleared his throat to get the rest of the Slytherins’ attention.

The white noise of chatter stopped immediately as the green-clad students leaned forward in their seats in anticipation of the winner.

“You’ve all done exceptionally well with this project, and I wish I could give this prize to all of you.” The old professor chuckled lightly. “But! There can only be one winner. And that winner is…” Draco held his breath and crossed his fingers so hard they nearly turned red. “Draco Malfoy.” The professor announced, and Draco let go of his held breath in relief. The former Death Eater stood up and primly walked to the front of the class, ignored glares from his classmates, and collected his prize: a vial of Felix Felicis; enough to last 24 hours.

“Thank you, sir.” Draco said, turning the glass vial in his hand. Slughorn smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “No problem, my boy. You definitely earned it.”

With that, the class began to file out, (of course none of them snuck any amortentia- what are you talking about?) some stiffly congratulating Draco while others looked upon him in pure jealousy. “Draco!” Pansy shrieked, jumping on Draco’s back with a laugh.

“Yes, Pansy?” Draco huffed, feigning annoyance. Pansy pouted her black painted lips.

“Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I’m going to say-” The two walked along the stones that line the dungeon floor, hurrying to escape the cold of the halls and enter the warmth of the common room.

“Yes, of course I do- wrackspurt” Draco said to the wall, a panel swinging open or the two to enter through. A blast of comforting warmth and a feeling of home hit Draco, and he sighed contently.

“Soooo?” Pansy asked, lying on a couch and moving her legs up so Draco could sit under them, and resting them on his lap. Draco rolled his eyes.

“Pansy, we both already know-”

“I want you to say it out loud.” She said defiantly, and Draco let out an indignant puff of air.

“Fine.” Draco conceded, and Pansy raised an eyebrow. “Broom polish, Quidditch sweat, vanilla, and pine.” The blonde said quietly, fiddling with the tiny vial of liquid luck.

“Oh, honey you’re in loooooooove!” Pansy said with a giggle. Draco put his face in his hand, groaning.

“I am not-” Draco tried half-heartedly to protest, but Pansy wasn’t having it.

“Yes you are. And it’s adorable! You know, he probably likes you too-”

“You’re demented-”

“No, I’m serious!” She said, taking out her wand and drawing little designs in the air above her. “You two have gotten really close lately. You talk all the time, you sit next to each other during meals, you hang out on the grounds-”

“Those are all things that friends do, Pansy.” Draco snapped at his best friend.

“Draco, you have the answer in your hand right now.” Pansy said, drawing a little green snake. The boy looked once more at the vial, the gears turning in his head. The black haired girl looked at him with one of the most sincere faces he’d ever seen her wear. “You don’t even have to use the whole thing. Just take a tiny drop before dinner tonight, and ask him out or something.”

“That’s… a really good idea, actually.” Draco said, pushing Pansy’s legs off of him and standing up.

“No shit.” Pansy said nonchalantly, spinning her wand between her fingers. “Just one of my many talents.”

Draco rolled his eyes with a smirk, before he looked at his watch, anticipating the time two hours from then when he would hopefully be winning the heart of Harry James Potter.

-t.s-

“You got the vial?” Pansy asked Draco on their way to dinner. The crowd was buzzing with the usual mealtime gossip when they entered the Great Hall, glasses and silverware clinking.

“Of course.” Draco said absentmindedly while his eyes scanned the Gryffindor table for the black haired boy and his friends. Eventually they found him; laughing amongst his mates in a completely Potter-y way. His hair was tousled and unruly, and his eyes shone like emeralds behind those god awful glasses that would only ever look good on him. Draco and Pansy made their way across the hall to sit beside them.

“Draco! Come over here!” Harry greeted cheerfully, scooting over a bit so that the blonde could sit next to him. “Sup Pansy!” Harry greeted Draco’s companion, reaching over and giving her a high five. The rest of the table exchanged similar greetings with the Slytherin pair.

Draco’s side was pressed fully against Harry’s, but if the Savior cared at all, he sure didn’t show it. Dinner was going smoothly, everyone laughing like old friends, which was a welcome change from all of the drama from last year.

“So… I think Harry has something he wants to tell everyone.” Ron said with a smirk out of the blue. Harry nearly chokes on his pumpkin juice and sputters with confusion.

“W-what? Ron no…” He turned to Draco with a scared and almost embarrassed look on his face. “I don’t know what he’s talking about-”

“Obviously you do. How stupid do you think I am?” Draco scoffed, getting a warm blush from Harry.

“Not stupid at all-”

“Then you should know that you’re the worst liar ever.”

“How dare you?” Harry feigned being insulted. “You have insulted me!” He elbowed the Malfoy in the ribs, who broke out laughing.

“Okay, okay! Don’t tell me.” Draco laughed, his smile widening when he saw Harry’s blush. The rest of their friends just watched in amazement; they didn’t know how it was possible for two people to flirt so much without believing that the other liked them.

“Draco, I think you have something to tell Harry?” Pansy said, taking a casual sip from he goblet. Blaise had sat beside her at some point, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Draco’s reply was a vast opposite of Harry’s; the blonde was cool and collected in his answer. “I don’t know what you mean.” He said, taking a bite of potato.

“Oooh, is it confession time?” Blaise said, a glint in his eye. Draco sighed.

“Not unless you’re planning on confessing something.” Draco said.

“I will if the rest of you will… wait!” Blaise said, capturing the attention of everyone in the group. “Why don’t we all confess something? A little get to know you game.”

“Blaise-” I said, leaning over Pansy and putting a hand on his shoulder. “That’s a stupid idea.”

“I disagree.” Hermione piped in. “It could be fun! We all just have to share one thing no one knows about us.” She said excitedly.

“I don’t know-” Harry told her.

“Don’t ruin it Harry! Okay, I’ll go first.” Blaise said, ignoring Harry and Draco’s protests. “Let’s see…” He thought for a moment, before grinning widely. “The first time I had sex was when I was 16.” He said, and the table was filled with 'ooohs’.

“Who with?” Seamus asked, wiggling his eyebrows provocatively.

“Only one confession!” Blaise said, putting an arm around a giggling Pansy.

“I’ll go next!” Ron said, running a hand sheepishly through his hair. “I didn’t get my first kiss until 6th year.”

“Wait, Lavender was your first kiss?” Harry asked, astonished as Ron blushed crimson.

“Yeah… okay someone else go!” And with that, the 8th year friends went around the table, revealing secrets about themselves that had people giggling hysterically. The great hall had been clearing slowly an by the time it was Harry’s turn, only the 8th years playing the game were still there.

“Your turn Harry!” Dean said after revealing that once in 2nd year he had accidentally walked in on two 7th years about to have sex. (“I bolted as soon as I saw the shirts on the floor” he’s said)

“Alright…” He said, and looked around at all of us, before settling his eyes on the table. “I guess now’s as good a time as any to say…” He looked up, stared straight into my eyes for a moment, before looking down again. “I’m bisexual.” The table was silent for a long moment. When Draco looked around the table, everyone looked astonished except for Pansy and Blaise.

“Wait, no one else knew that?” Blaise asked, confused.

“How did you know?” Harry asked, a bright blush adorning his cheeks.

“Slytherin intuition. My gay-dar is never wrong.” Blaise said casually.

While the rest of the group discussed Harry’s sexuality, Pansy just kept giving Draco pointed looks that obviously meant 'I fucking told you so’. Draco just quietly scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Your turn Draco!” Ron said, obviously trying to stop Harry from being more uncomfortable.

“Oh…” Or as long as Draco had been playing, he still didn’t know what he would say. “Well…” He looked around the table, before meeting Pansy’s eye.

'Now’s your chance, you poncy git!’ They seemed to scream, and Draco took a deep breath.

“I… haven’t ever had my first kiss-” Draco said, chickening out at the last moment.

“That’s not something no one knew!” Blaise called out, Draco shooting him a glare.

“But it is true.” Pansy said with an innocent smile.

“Thanks Pansy…” Draco muttered, stealing a glimpse of Potter, who still had a bit of a blush on his cheeks.

“Give us something else.” Hermione said, resting her head on Ron’s shoulder.

“Fine.” The Slytherin snapped. This was his chance. This was his chance to tell Harry how he felt. “I have a crush on a guy…” Draco looked around at everyone’s interested faces, avoiding Harry’s. “And… his name is…” Draco took one look into Harry’s bright eyes and fell apart. “oh, fuck it!” Draco yelled, and pressed his lips to Harry’s.

Gasps flew from everyone watching, but all Draco could feel were Harry’s lips pressed to his. He moved softly, cupping the back of Harry’s head with a pale hand whilst running long fingers through dark hair. The scar-headed boy’s arms encircled Draco’s neck holding him close while they snogged the daylight out of each other.

When they pulled apart, all of their friends were clapping and whooping while they looked at each other, foreheads pressed together.

“It’s about time!” Draco heard Pansy’s haughty tone, but couldn’t care less. And then he realized.

He hadn’t even used the Felix Felicis.

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dierwolves · 8 years

Text

James & Lily: Shower

Request: Jily + 5 vi “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbor that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”

Note: Sorry for my absence! Here’s some Jily as an apologise… Hope you like it, sorry for typos and requests are open ^^

“Whoever did this must confess. Now.” Minerva McGonagall looked at everyone in the Gryffindor tower accusingly, her eyes going back to the marauders, who tried to look as innocently as they could. Some swallowed hard, others didn’t even blink, but no one raised their hands nor did they speak up. “We’ll find the guilty one, I assure you that. And we’ll have this fixed by the end of the day. Now, I am sure you all have things to do. Back to work.” McGonagall left Gryffindor’s common room and after her exit whispers turned in some angry loud voices.

“Who’s been the prick who has turned the water into pumpkin juice? Speak!” Some of the boys laughed, while others left the room, not really interested in an issue that didn’t really concern them. The problem began earlier when a 4th year girl had screamed that instead of water, it was pumpkin juice what was coming from her shower. Someone had charmed them, or the water, so the only liquid coming from the tap was juice. No one confessed, so now the girls had no way of showering in their rooms.

“What am I going to do now? I can’t go out like this!” said Lily Evans, grabbing her messy red hair and looking at her uniform.

“Why don’t you use the prefects’ bathroom, Lily?” suggested Remus from his spot in the couch, without diverting his eyes from the Daily Prophet.

“The women’s have been charmed the same way, Remus.” Lily sat defeated next to her friend, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You can use our bathroom if you are in a hurry. I don’t mind, and I’m sure nor will the others.” Remus looked at Lily’s face, where a wide grin had appeared, and he didn’t see James, at the other side of the room, shaking his head from side to side.

“Thank you so much Remus! I’ll be going now.” She grabbed his chin and kissed him multiple times on the cheek before leaving in a hurry. Remus’s laugh was cut short when he saw his friend’s displeased face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“She has a date! She’s going to meet some boy at 4:15 PM today, in the library. She wasn’t supposed to be able to get there!”

“So it was you who broke the girls’ showers? James –scolded Remus– you can’t stop her from going or doing what she wants.”

“And how the hell did you find so much information about her date? Your obsession always astonishes me, Prongs.” Said Sirius, patting James’s back.

“She’s the love of my life. That date can’t happen.”

Remus sighed and put the newspaper down. “I’m not going to interfere anymore. Do whatever you want James, but then don’t come crying because she’s angry at you. Again.” He stood up and left Sirius and James by themselves. They stayed quiet a few minutes, until Sirius spoke again.

“You’re not going let that date happen, right?”

“Over my dead body.”

***

7th year boys’ room

“Lily? It’s me, James!”

James heard a yelp coming from inside the bathroom, and the sound of something hitting the floor. “Are you okay, Evans? Do you need any help?”

“No, James! I think I can manage!”

James stood in the middle of his room for a moment, looking around absentmindedly when he spotted a chair next to the wardrobe. Sirius had used it in the morning to hide one of Remus’s books on the top of it. Remus had used the chair to retrieve it. He grabbed it and sat on it in front of the bathroom door, like he was guarding it.

“So… what are you doing this evening?”

He waited patiently for her answer, pressing his ear against the bathroom door, but no answer came.

“James, are you sitting next to the door?”

He jumped in the place and cleared his throat.

“Yeah… I thought that as you’re using my shower we might as well have a nice conversation going. If you’re okay with it, of course.”

He heard silence again. He bit his nails nervously waiting for her to talk.

“It’s a little bit awkward, truth to be told. You’re just gonna stay there while I shower?”

“Yeah.” James laughed quietly and scratched the back of his neck. “Sounds creepy said like that. I can leave if you want.”

James heard Lily’s giggle and it eased him a bit. He was afraid he was pushing the boundaries of their friendship. Yes, they were friends now. Apparently, Lily thought James was more mature, “About damn time you grew up, Potter!” was what she said.

“It’s your room James. I can’t kick you out.”

James nodded, but when he realised she couldn’t see him he voiced “That’s right. So… something new in your life, Lily?”

Lily hummed from inside, seemingly looking for an answer. “Not really. Same old story: homework, Head Girl tasks –which you should be aware of, as you are a Head Boy yourself–, thinking of future jobs… Oh!” James paid attention, waiting to hear something about her date “Mary and I are planning some sort of trip to Wales this Christmas, just four or five days, although we still need to choose a place.” James furrowed his brow. He loved listening to her talk about her life and interests, but right now there was something worrying him and it wasn’t her trip to Wales. He thought of a subtle way of asking her.

“And… Will it be just you and Mary, or someone else will be going?”

“We told Dorcas and Marlene about it. Marlene is still thinking about it. Dorcas is not coming. She spends Christmas at her grandma’s. She can’t get out of there.” Lily laughed at that, knowing how strict the Meadowes could be. “Oh, I forgot! Mary wanted to invite her boyfriend, but I don’t know if she has invited him yet.”

“And what about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, aren’t you inviting a boyfriend or something?”

She laughed again. “If I had one maybe I would. But I don’t, so it’ll be me, myself and I.”

James frowned again. “And what about your date this evening?”

“What date? I don’t know what you’re talking about, James.”

James stared deeply into the door, like he could see through it. What was Lily talking about? A couple of days ago they had agreed to meet in the Common Room to go patrol the castle at night. Lily was already there, talking to Mary:

“So, are you coming to Hogsmeade?” Mary asked Lily.

“No, I already have plans. Remember the Hufflepuff boy I told you about, who needed help in Potions?”

“Right, I forgot. Anyway, we’ll have more days to go to Hogsmeade.”

Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Lily was standing in front of him. Her hair was wet, and her clean face allowed James to see all of her freckles over her nose and cheeks. The last were flushed, probably because of the hot water.

“I heard you say you had a date? With a Hufflepuff guy. I heard you saying it to Mary.”

Lily smirked and walked towards the bed she knew was James’s and sat there. “He’s a little bit young for me, don’t you think?”

“What?”

“I’m tutoring a 3rd year student James.” She looked at him mockingly, and James could feel his cheeks heat up. Maybe he had gone too far with his suppositions about Lily’s plans. She had literally said the Hufflepuff boy I told you about, who needed help in Potions, so it was just that, a boy that needed help in potions. Lily would have seen James’ flushing cheeks if she wasn’t tying her shoelaces. She looked back up, still with mocking eyes, and James sat next to her.

“Well, I’m going now, I have a 3rd year old head to fill. Don’t drown in jealousy in my absence.” She gave a throaty laugh, and James could only follow. When they stopped Lily looked sweetly at James. She leant forward and gave him a short kiss on the lips. She stood up and put his glasses back in place, and walked towards the door without looking back. Before leaving she turned around. “And so you know, that kiss won’t happen ever again unless you fix the goddamn showers. Even better if you do it before I come back. Hurry up, sweetheart.”

James stood still, flustered because of the kiss and the sweetheart. Soon enough he stood up and ran looking for Sirius. They needed to fix those showers.

#JILY ONESHOT #jily imagine #jily fanfiction #jily one shot #james and lily #james x lily #James Potter x Lily Evans #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshot

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