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#he's right. i'm wrong. my mom more or less defends him no matter what
yuikomorii · 2 years
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You've probably been asked this before (and if so I'm sorry!) but what was in your opinion the best route and worst route throughout the entire game series?
// I think I have answered this before but no worries, I’ll try to write down again! ^^
The route I found the closest to perfection was Ayato’s DF one. It had a lot of romance because his interactions with Yui were so wholesome (I liked how they were both romantic and playful), the cgs were stunning, there was a lot of character development, and it was very memorable! Cordelia was undoubtedly the most abusive mother, but the fact that we got to learn about her feelings made the route even better because I, at least, sympathized with her there. Furthermore, DF Ayato set my expectations too high. He's not always the brightest bulb in the box, but when he's written to be smart, he's a KING. When he eavesdropped Cordelia’s conversation with Yui about her doing all those bad things to get Karl’s attention, Ayato connected the dots so quickly and realized that Karlheinz truly is the root of all evil; not just when it comes to his mom or Laito and Kanato, but to EVERYONE who had to suffer as a result of his plan. In Ecstasy 7-8, it was revealed that Ayato was aware that Karlheinz only cared about his plan, and I believe that every Diaboy needs to face this reality and stop trying to defend or justify Karl's actions because Ayato is 100% correct here, his father couldn't care less about his victims.
It's ironic, given that he's my best boy, that the worst route in DL was Ayato's LE one. The issue wasn't Ayato, because he got development and great interactions with Yui here as well, but the way his brothers acted made it very unappealing. I get that he blew up the house the first time, all of his brothers did it in their own routes, but the one who made the big mistake wasn't Ayato, but his brothers. They were the ones who ganged up against him, not allowing him to finish his sentence and even interrupting him, so it's no surprise he reacted that way because 1) 5 people throwing shade at you isn't a pleasant scenario, especially if you want to express yourself and visibly have powers you can’t control and 2) the conversation was also about Richter and Ayato had every right not to trust him because he had previously wronged him and Yui (which he also mentioned). He wouldn't have blown up the house a second if they hadn't done this and even Yui later said she wished they had listened to Ayato's side of the story too. The Good Ending aggravates matters because it would have been ten times better if Ayato had learned how to use his powers and healed his brothers. Maybe they would have apologized for not understanding his struggles and promised to pay more attention to his feelings, but noooo, time had to be rewinded. The saddest part is that even if Ayato learned to control himself better, the moment he acts impulsively again, his brothers will undoubtedly gang up together against him again, and the scenario will be recreated. What bothers me the most is that THEY did not learn from their mistakes nor to take their brother’s feelings into consideration.
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1nvad3rz1m · 1 year
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The funny thing is that I expected zagr to be most popular ship in the fandom, when I joined, because "my enemy's sister", "my brother's enemy" and I thought zadr was gonna be some underground crackship or something. I mean I wasn't exactly wrong with zagr, because from what I've seen it was the most popular for a while in the past, but zadr ended up overtaking later? Correct me if I'm wrong.
I was also suprised by the ship discourse, because Zim wouldn't have a healthy relationship with anybody as he is now, he needs a LOT of therapy/development, to get even remotely close, which people can write for any ship, so I didn't get why some shippers acted like they were allowed to give Zim development/be out of character/just ignore huge parts of his character to make the ship work (like his hatred for humanity, and every other species that isn't Irken, like it doesn't matter how old you think he is, he still views them as below him, or how he is infamous within his own kind for a good reason and he treats them disposable if that's what benefits him at the moment), but saying people with their notps can't do that. Like I expected that while the community having different ship-preferences, but they stick together, because they all go against the canon of the least romancy show in existense, but I guess nope. I have seen somebody defending this by saying that: "Well my ships are not as bad as the other ships." From whose perspective? Because everybody has a different idea about that. Even if they are right, that's what it sounds like to me:
Mom: "I can't believe you got a D!"
Kid: "But mooooooom, other people got an F!"
Like I can't take this argument seriously, and I'm not sorry about it.
zagr is/was really popular but tbh i think zadrs always been top dog in terms of like...long term dedication i tried looking at google analytics but since the terms are so vague im not sure hoooow reliable they are
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blue is zadr red is zagr dating back to 2004. i guess youre not wrong though but idk if zadr really took over so much as zagr ended up dying out. this is also only 2004 and on though so make of that what you will. something to note about zagr is that im willing to wage a guess that it was everyones first introduction to invader zim (a lot of old zagr art is based on old emo/goth/scene aesthetics of the time) leading to it being searched more but thats just a theory. zadr outranks zagr by about 10k deviations on deviantart but that could still be credited to zagr just...dying out over time. idk!
as for the zim thing i think its less so zim being unhealthy and moreso the age debacle when jhonen decided to come and gunk up long cemented fandom interpretation for...some reason. though i do think thats a part of it because when silly discourse was happening people tried to alternatively ship dib with other like-aged humans (torque, dipper, etc etc) and it was very sanitized...undiblike. it was somewhat related to the overall fucked-up-ness of zadr but mostly the age lol.
there was a definite air of hypocrisy about what was acceptable and what wasnt because during this like..drama people tried to promote membrane and zim instead all the while membrane fully believed zim was one of dibs school aged friends so IDK it was a weird time to be here!!
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quinnfabrcys · 9 months
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he loved her, he loved her, he loved her. she was a like breath of fresh air, he told her, she made him feel normal. where have you been all my life, quinn fabray? carter loveless. as in jane austen's if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. but all men do is lie. and let their mothers treat their supposed love of their lives like shit. let it be known, quinn fabray is a certified feminist. but celia loveless is a certified cunt. the older woman who hired a private investigator to look into her son's girlfriend and decided to throw it back into her face, use it to embarrass her. did you know quinn was a teen mom? oh, yeah. then she just gave up the poor thing. couldn't even take responsibility. we don't have to worry about you giving up a future grandchild, do we? and that stupid rich person laugh. followed by her daughter's stupid laugh. now she wanted to jump over the table and in her best friend's words go all lima heights on her ass, that's what santana would've done. carter immediately moved the knife on her plate out of sight. as if he knew. "mom —," "you know, celia, we have a lot of common. i didn't raise my kid, you definitely didn't raise your kids, so i don't think you should be giving anyone parenting advice, you cunt," how dare you. where do you get off talking to me like that? "oh, are you upset? you have so much botox and fillers i couldn't tell," her attention moving to his sister right after, "and they had to pay half a million dollars to get you into usc because they thought you were too stupid to get in on your own and they were right!"
"you called my mom a cunt, my sister stupid, quinn, and you don't see anything wrong with that?" the man ran his hands over his face because of course this was so stressful for him. "i'm sorry, were you there when beth was brought into it? how it was so funny that a sixteen year old girl gave her baby up for adoption? i had to defend myself because you sure as hell weren't gonna do it. she did it to embarrass me, carter," the blonde immediately shot back. ""babe, she didn't mean it, that's just how she is sometimes. okay? i just think if you apologized first and were the bigger person —," and in that moment she understood why so many women snapped and killed their boyfriends and husbands because jesus christ. men were the worst. santana was always telling her to get a girlfriend for a reason. "not only am i not apologizing to leather face and her dumb ass daughter, i would never have children with fucking a pussy ass momma's boy, carter," santana lopez would be proud. she'd be even prouder if her best friend let her beat his ass, but that wasn't really an option at the moment.
dainty gold ring cladded hands ran over the yale university diplomas in their respective frames. two degrees in social work. lima, lima, lima. she put six hundred and seventy miles between her and lima when she went to new haven. then it was eight hundred when she moved to boston. lima, ohio. typical middle america. she tells people she's from columbus when they ask. well, it's close enough, because people from big cities would rarely know where a little town in the middle of ohio is. the town that she so badly wanted to escape once upon a time. she no longer thinks of her hometown like that. something to run from. instead it's something that welcomes her home no matter what's going on in her life. and right now she needed to be home. so there she was. in what once was the office of emma pillsbury, making it her own little piece of mckinley. maybe it's true what they say, that one way or another, you'll always find your way back home.
william mckinley was like a time warp. and finn hudson was everywhere. ten years felt like just yesterday and a million years ago all the same time. her chest hurt so bad the last time she was here as if it often did. the past summer. her friends always keeping their promises. by now, most of them were married or had kids. yet, quinn was content with being aunt quinn, aunt q, or 'inn, for the littlest ones. her baby was thirteen and she still remembered how much that shit hurt, so she was fine, thank very much. by now, all the students who ever knew finn hudson had graduated and moved on. to current students, he was solely the name on the auditorium. time was such a weird thing. with the sound of footsteps coming closer and pulling her out of her thoughts, the blonde turned around to see who it was. a smile immediately etching on her lips, sam evans. a magnificent duet partner, an even more amazing person. maybe the one that got away. "hi, sam," she spoke up, green eyes settling onto his blue ones. "you think this school's big enough for the both of us?"
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3/24/2022 4:15AM
I just want to feel loved. Everytime I talk to my mom I feel like she'll either scoff in annoyance, roll her eyes, or just try to dismiss me. I don't want to be a burden but sometimes I can't help but feel like one. Dad told me they're worried that I'm not ready to be on my own and they're right. I'm not ready, and I don't think I ever will be. I feel like one big disappointing burden that they have to carry around. I used to be a good kid. I used to be happy. I used to be praised. But I've lost myself and can't get back together. I know I'm probably feeling like this cos I haven't taken my meds in a few days but I keep forgetting. I hate that I'm so fucking forgetful. I'm supposed to be getting a therapist. I'm supposed to be getting a job. I'm supposed to be doing all sorts of things but I'm not. I've lost the motivation that comes with living. I'm tired of life but I don't want to die. I just want someone to hold me and assure me everything's alright. I miss grams I miss her so much. I feel guilty for not feeling this way about [🐶]. I barely remember any of the time I spent with him and it makes me feel bad. He was so important to mom but he's inconsequential to me. Don't I sound like a dick? I'd like to think I'm not a bad person but I can't stop thinking about snapping at [📻] and losing them as a friend. They probably want me gone from their life, and I wouldn't blame them. I wouldn't be friends with me either if it happened to me. why can't i just be normal? why can't i just live and accomplish things and feel motivated and get things done that actually matter and not just sit on my ass all day mooching off of my dead great grandmother's inheritance? Would she be disappointed in me? Would she stop loving me if she saw what I've become? Am I even worthy of her love? Was I even worthy of her love? I barely spent time with her yet she loved me until the end. My parents warned me that she doesn't have much time left but I didn't fucking listen. Now she's gone forever. no more back rubs, no more meals, no more piano, no more of anything from her. I should've learned piano when i had the chance. I should've talked to her more. i fucking miss her so much. I want her love again. I want to feel loved again. I want back rubs and warm meals, I want to be cared for genuinely and without feeling like a fucking burden. When mom sighs or seems annoyed at me I always retreat into myself, thinking I've done or said something wrong. One of these days I feel like she's gonna snap and scream at me about how much of a failure I am. I don't know what I'd do then. Would I even be able to defend myself in that argument? I pretty much am a failure. My life is so off track I don't know how to get back on track. I have a dentist appointment in less than 12 hours and I'm over here wallowing in sorrow and self-pity. What a fucking wreck of a human being.
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disdaidal · 2 years
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Had a debate with my stepdad which turned into a fight.
It started with politics and turned into an Ukrainian war. We'd both had some alcohol, so obviously not the best topics out there - not that it would've changed anything because he's always right and has trouble putting himself in another person's shoes.
He kept bringing up every once in a while that I'm a 30+ woman (with no proper education and not much work experience bc I had troubles in my twenties), and I put up with that and kept ignoring that while actively debating him with my mom who was also getting visibly pissed off by some of his arguments.
Then the topic turned into war and our debate got really heated and he brought up my age again and that "i fall in between" (i don't know what you call it in english but it's like falling into a hole in society and not having a place of your own) and that I wouldn't understand (that one controversial topic we argued about) because my opinion was so drastically different from his. So I finally got irritated and told him that he thinks like a businessman (he does, he always talks that way) and therefore he wouldn't understand because it's all numbers and benefits to him. Then he started laughing and asked me why I got so pissy all of a sudden, did he struck a nerve or something and that I can't take criticism. I responded that apparently so can't you, and he claimed it was all just a conversation (it was until it wasn't anymore) and all he said was true. That I'm thirty plus and that it's great that I'm trying and he supports it (but the time is ticking you know). And I responded that I fucking know that, no need to remind me constantly.
So I finally walked outside and sat on the stairs and cried alone for about five minutes because sometimes I really wonder why I even try. My mom came outside after a awhile and what she said to me was that "there's no point arguing with him", "you know how he is, blunt and unable to put himself in another person's shoes" and that "he means good". I told her it doesn't mean he's right though and she kinda agreed, and then I told her that none of you understand how I feel for almost 24/7 now, of course it fucking hurts because I think that way too - that I'm a fucking loser at this age and I have no future. That despite of feeling like absolute shit, I still haven't thought of suicide yet which would've been my first thought not too many years ago, because I'd like to think I still matter, and I don't want to talk about it because I don't want her to worry. I fucking try okay? I fucking try.
She kept saying she's proud of me and stuff and that I've come far. And that I need to put my skills into good use (I don't know what those are, I'm pretty fucking mediocre in everything but okay), but I guess that's something.
Then when we were back inside she started saying that our debate went well until I got upset about his comment about my situation, and that my comments about society and economics were my just point of view (i repeat what i've learned from school ma'am) and that I shouldn't worry about his comments too much (it'll go over, i said. we're just not gonna apologize to each other and pretend this never happened. because that's what we do in this house. but this i did not say)
And you know,I might've forgot about it and just gone to sleep but I heard them arguing about something almost for 45min (they stopped 15min ago and it's 3:13am so clearly he was still upset too).
But you know, it's just me overreacting again right...
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liptonsbabe · 3 years
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Chains of a family [B.W]
Bill Weasley x Grant! reader
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
Summary: Molly thinks that Bill’s and the reader relationship is a mistake so she wants them apart from each other. Bill’s against his mother wishes and he find a way to drag the reader into the Weasley family officialy
Word count: 1.9K
Warnings: none
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A/N: Hi! Part 4 of this thing lol. I’m so happy that you guys like this story. It’ll have like 20 chapters or so, i’m still deciding that so yeah, that’s pretty much the thing. Btw, from now on chapters will be more interestings... i hope so lol. Again, english not my mother language. Please let me know if something’s wrong. Aaaaaand if you want to be tagged in the next chapters tell me and i will add you! Enjoy!
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Chapter 4: Arguments
The rest of the afternoon passed as normal as the days before your arrival. Arthur Weasley made sure of it. Even if Molly attacked you with her dagger gaze when you and Bill hugged each other after you were done with dessert.
You didn’t know what Mr. Weasley had talked about with his wife while you were taking a shower, however, you noticed the tension rising from their bodies after you sat down at the table next to Bill and saw an annoyance sign on Molly’s lips. Her temple was frowned, reminding you of your own mother's gestures. Those flaming eyes, cleft chin, and pinion lips. Both women contract their features too much when they were upset and in your distress, you knew that they must not be disturbed.
The last thing you wanted was to hurt a marriage as solid as the Weasley's. More than once you heard your mother talk about it with your nanny making a powerful emphasis on how Molly and Arthur were able to carry out their marriage even if their economic conditions were precarious and the war was on their heels. They were an envied couple. Few dared to expand the family as much as they did without money in their pockets and spreading their progeny like a plague. No one was surprised, not even your mother, not when her marriage to Evan Grant was merely for financial advantage. Now Arthur and Molly looked upset, too upset for your understanding and you just hoped they could get along soon.
You weren't sure you deserved the sacrifice Bill's father had made for you, yet a flame of hope lit up in your chest. If Mr. Weasley started to trust you that was a good sign for others to do as well, right?
The afternoon continued as normal, seeing how Bill's plans to distract you from the fervent harassment of his mother was marred by the twins intervention. They had just finished a new product for their store and needed a good taster to certify the quality of their merchandise. It was a bad idea, he told himself, because twins were just a disaster and you didn't know them well enough to deny their good-natured pretensions.
"Be kind!" He yelled at them as Fred and George pulled you into their. Bill exhaled, pleading that his brothers wouldn't bother his girlfriend more than his mother already had.
Before taking you home, he thought about the pros and cons of your stay in the burrow. His conclusion was based on the fact that his entire family welcomed Harry Potter with open arms, so you didn't have to be the exception. He knew the difference in conditions in which his theory developed, yet he put his trust in the good judgment of his family even if the Grants' past left much to be desired. Bill didn't talk much about you with his mother, in fact, your presence at home was the last of his worries, the real problem came at the time of joining the Order of the Phoenix, would you be willing to fight against your relatives even if that mean betraying your own blood? Bill hope you will
Coming downstairs, Bill found his mother storing the leftover food in the fridge while the dishes soaked in the sink. Then he watched her clean each plate with her bare hands, no magic. William knew his anger was real.
"Want some help with that?"
"I'd love to, honey, thank you," his mother answered without looking at him. Bill raised the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, dipping his hands into the tide of water and bubbles that flew across the kitchen. Molly was silent, drying the dishes and flying them to her place in the display case across the kitchen. Bill cleared his throat doubtfully "It never hurts to help, much less when I have so many things to do before the rest of the Order arrive"
"Don't worry, I'll help you with that too."
"Perfect"
"Mom, can we talk?"
"About what?
"You know what," Bill clicked his tongue, passing her the last plate from the sink to continue with the spoons. "(Y/N)..."
"Your father has scolded me enough about that girl, I don't need you to do it too"
"I wouldn't if you had a little consideration with her."
"More consideration?" Molly asked in a squeak. Bill shook his head. "I'm letting her stay at my home!"
"Our home, mom, ours," he corrected, drying his hands with a cloth. "This house also belongs to my dad, my brothers, and me. It's the burrow, a family property, not a secret club where some people can get in and others cannot."
"You know what I think of her"
"And you know I don't care." Molly looked scandalized at her son. She didn't understand what he had seen in someone like you or what you had given him to come out and defend you as he did "I don't ask you to love her, but at least you have to try...
"Have you ever wondered what will happen when she betrays us?"
"That's not gonna happen"
"You're very sure of that, William"
"I'm convinced, Mom. You don't know her like I do and, you know what? I see that wanting to talk to you was a mistake"
"Moody thinks like me," Molly stopped him when Bill was ready to go upstairs. The woman clung to the railing watching her son standing in the first step out of the kitchen "(Y/N) Grant is a danger to the Order"
"Really? Like Mundungus Fletcher? I beg your pardon, mom, but if there is anyone who represents a latent danger to the Order of the Phoenix, it's him and yet you have assigned him for the mission tonight"
Molly's lips parted and if it weren't for the fact that Bill knew her mother too well, he might think the woman was about to throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. Still, she clenched the bars tightly, her brow furrowed, and the redness on her cheeks washed over her forehead.
"William!" Don't talk to me like that!"
"I wouldn't if you had a little more respect for my girlfriend."
"Don't you understand? I care about you! For all of us!" She snarled angrily. "Having a Riddle in this house..."
"A Grant, mom, (Y/N) is a Grant and that's not the same." Bill descended his steps, approaching her mother, returning that angry look that she had inherited from him. It was a strange sensation. A dyad of emotions between joy and fear where the composed emotion was guilt. He had never exploded that way with his mother, but Molly hadn't behaved that way with anyone either "His grandfather is Lord Voldemort's half-brother and his brothers are all Death Eaters, what does it matter? (Y/N) is not. And when do we judge others by where they come from? If so, we could start with half of us. Being a Weasley is equivalent to being a blood traitor"
"William!"
Molly's face went from fury to shock to fury again. Bill's eyes were twinkling and Molly swore she had never seen any of her children this angry, or worse, this determined.
"What would you have done, Mom?" Bill questioned taking his mother by his arms in an attempt to make him feel her despair. Molly opened her eyes, scared. "When your family tell you not to accept dad? When your brothers object to your engagement, just 'cause the Weasleys have long been considered blood traitors?"
For the first time that day Molly's mind went blank, Bill guessed, rewinding the memories of how difficult it was for the Prewetts to accept the marriage. Bill pleaded silently, but pulled away from her when his mother gave no indication to be a little more respectful with you.
"We aren't like that. We don't separate people by where they come from, we hug them" Bill resumed his way towards the stairs, stopping a couple of steps up, turning to take a look at Molly's stunned figure "As you did with Hermione, Remus and Harry when you and Dad became his godparents after Sirius died. (Y/N) is no different"
"She will turn her back on us when the Order fight the Grants. That moment will come and you know it"
"Don't worry, i'll make sure that doesn't happen"
"She is not part of this family"
"That can be solved very easily," he said and the smile he wore gave her a terrible chill down her spine. "Because I'm going to ask her to be my wife."
Molly's gasp was the only thing Bill heard before climbing the stairs and heading to the twins' room. He always respected his mother a lot and even thinking of opposing to her wishes was inconceivable, but your well-being was something that was involved and Bill couldn't just let her mother control his life at her will. Maybe the mistake he made was not telling his parents the truth about you from the start or, in that case, mentioning that the woman he loved was the fucking niece of the strongest fucking dark wizard of all time.
Bill Weasley rubbed his face as he reached the twins' door. He no longer had to torment himself, it was done and the only thing pending at the moment was to get Harry out of his uncles' house, take him safely to the burrow and find the courage to do what he told his mother he would do.
Would you agree to marry him? He hoped so and if not, he wouldn't pressure you. You were young - even a little younger than him - and it would be understandable if you refused to tie your life to someone else's from one moment to the other. The war progressed every day and if you were going to do it, you would do it as soon as possible.
Loud laughings brought him out of his thoughts to observe you and his brothers sitting on the floor, right in the center of both beds, laughing at each other and touching your faces. From the doorway Bill can't see the full painted room, however George's face showed a rather abstract mural full of bright colors when he felt the presence of his older brother. Fred did the same showing his face in the same situation and then you turned to Bill, still laughing and your face smeared with paint. It seemed the twins had created a paint bomb in millimeter pills, that explode when you put a little bit of pressure. You tried to clean yourself with the sleeve of your sweater but you spread the paint even more. Fred and George laughed and so did Bill.
His heart swelled with love as he saw that at least someone in his family - besides him and his father - had hope in you. God, he may have even cried with happiness.
Bill never understood how a sunshine as beautiful as you was never accepted in your entire life.
Tags:
@purple-vodka-99
@vampirestrawberries
Thanks for the 100 followers!❤
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nikkoliferous · 4 years
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Sorry, you've probably answered this before, but uh.. why do you hate Frigga? I'm asking because I never really paid her much attention so, being indifferent towards her, I just wanted to know why you dislike her.
Hoo boy. How much time do you have? I will attempt to be somewhat concise here, but... well, I have a lot of feelings about Frigga and 98% of them are negative. 
Frigga is extremely manipulative and it’s actually her intervention in family affairs far more than Odin’s that enables his abusive tendencies, especially when it comes to Loki. Odin is more outwardly abusive; Frigga is sent in to pacify Loki’s anger, to convince him he’s overreacting and bring him back into the fold whenever he threatens to break away. Here is a shortlist of the shitty things we’ve seen Frigga do in the first two Thor movies:
She not only goes along with lying to Loki his entire life but perpetuates the “Jötnar are monsters” narrative, knowing fully well that Loki is one of them. To top it off, when the truth comes out, she at no point tells him there’s nothing wrong with being what he is. She merely brushes it aside as if it doesn’t even matter and emphasizes that he was raised by her and Odin. In other words, he’s not like all those other icky frost giants. He’s the exception.
When the truth comes out, her first priority is to absolve herself of any responsibility for going along with the lie. “I told him to be honest with you from the beginning.” Ok, but you weren’t honest either. Exercise some personal autonomy, Frigga. Maybe there’s some limited merit in the idea that Asgard is patriarchal and she had to go along with whatever Odin decided, but the “she was afraid of Odin” defense quickly falls apart when you realise that she’s throwing Odin under the bus right in front of him. He may not be conscious right now, but according to her, he can hear everything that’s going on around him.
She either ignores or completely misses the fact that Loki is in an extremely precarious mental state and forces upon him the additional burden of ruling a realm that’s suddenly at war—with the very peoples he’s just learned he belongs to, no less. And she does so without providing him with a lick of support or guidance. Whether she thought this was a nice thing to do for him by giving him a chance to prove himself or was prioritizing her own belief that Loki was better suited to the throne is unclear, but either way, it’s at best an idiotic move and at worst an utterly cruel one. Bonus points for the verbal command to “make [his] father proud”. Ugh.
She never asks him, at least so far as we can tell, about what happened to him or why he showed up on Earth acting so completely out of character. Her vision of him (see the prelude comic for The Dark World) appears to even include Thanos and The Other, and yet she never mentions any of this. Neither to him, nor to Thor, nor to Odin.
When he attempts to distract himself with illusions after being imprisoned for the rest of his life, she doesn’t address the substance of his fantasies by assuring him that he doesn’t need to be Thor in order to be worthy of love or adoration. Instead, she criticizes him for trying to escape his present reality, despite the fact that there’s nothing he can do to change it.
She gaslights him with that “a true king admits his faults” crap while hypocritically defending a man who has never admitted to being wrong about anything in his entire life. Loki’s responses to being mistreated by his so-called family are always out of line, even when they’re 100% rational. He does not have the right to grieve or feel betrayed, even though he has been. It is forever on him to forgive and forget, or more accurately to minimize and deny that any wrong was done to begin with.
She attempts to emotionally blackmail him into accepting Odin as his father again by basically insinuating that he can have either both or neither of them as his parents, and then has the audacity to act hurt when he rejects her manipulation.
And these are all just what we see happen onscreen, let alone whatever chicanery she must have gotten up to behind the scenes over the previous millennium. At the end of the day, Frigga had a superficially positive relationship with Loki (she spent more time with him, she taught him magic, she was not outwardly hostile towards him), but that only served to make the ways in which she mistreated him that much more damaging—because he was closest with her, he trusted her, and that trust was taken advantage of and used against him at every turn. Exacerbating my hatred is the fact that 90% of the fandom, at least in my experience, either overlooks or fails to recognise any of this and talks about her as if she’s the greatest mom to ever live. She was not even really a force for good in Loki’s life when you step back and look at the bigger picture—let alone the wise, selfless, adoring mother most people portray her as.
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sarasidles · 4 years
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i'm a soap fan and a swanfire shipper, so please don't take this the wrong way, i'm genuinely curious. one of the reasons i don't like j*sam (or j*son for that matter) is because he'll literally always choose sonny and the mob over even being with his kids. i'm a scrubs fan who's always glad robin broke up with j*son for this reason. and soaps being soaps, i ship a few pairings who are trainwrecks lol, but i hate that sam is always putting herself and her kids in danger. i'm just not a fan of general mobspital overall i guess. what are your thoughts on the mob element of the show?
I mean, I don’t agree with you at all and I don’t typically feel like explaining myself to someone who hates my faves and shows little to no chance in changing their minds but - I’ll bite. 
I think the biggest thing is that all of the characters on this show live dangerous lives and put their families in danger, so the “mob” aspect is pretty moot to me. Like I really don’t give a fuck about it. Sam is also a Cassadine. Her dad is the one who almost blew up Jason and Danny up a few months ago. Her mom has slept with every bad guy on the damn show. She was a con artist and a PI and has enemies from both, her life was always dangerous and always will be regardless of Jason. And in the end, it’s been mostly things that have had NOTHING to do with the mob that have put her kids in danger. Danny being switched at birth didn’t have anything to do with that, neither did Heather kidnapping him, or that guy who thought he was a vampire kidnapping him, cancer can happen to anyone. The most recent incident was because of Julian, who says Sam and her family are safe from her dad and his enemies if she’s not with Jason? Yeah it’s the mob but it’s not Jason’s mob business it’s her father’s. Wasn’t it her own aunt her tried to kill her when she went into labor with Emily? Any threat from Shiloh was because Kristina accidentally joined a cult, and Shiloh hated Sam from her con artist days. Sam’s kids aren’t in danger because of Jason, they’re in danger because this is a soap opera where basically every person in town has murdered someone at some point. Honestly, half the time Jason and Sam are running around with guns it isn’t mob related at all, it’s because of other nonsense and they’ve gotta protect people because lord knows the PCPD can’t. Half the time it’s genuinely like - what mob? Like seriously, most years I couldn’t pinpoint an actual mob story if I tried. And when they finally do actually do a mob story, they’re usually pretty dumb and end in less danger than anything else this show does. Also, I think saying Jason puts the mob and Sonny before Sam and the kids is a pretty false talking point that people like to throw out there just because they hate him. He’s actually shown time and time again that he’ll go to them first and that he’ll do anything for them. “It’s not about you being second, it’s about Sam being first”. Usually Sam is the one telling him to go, or recently he went out doing mob stuff directly because Danny was threatened and he needed to find the truth and keep him safe. He’s even offered to leave the mob before and Sam said no. Up until the recent mess of a storyline, Sam has always maintained that he’d still have enemies regardless and they’re safer just staying put and doing everything to protect their family. 
Scrubs aren’t saints (don’t take that the wrong way, they’re my second fave couple). Patrick had that affair with Lisa, we know how that turned out and she was hella dangerous. Anna still has enemies and gets put in danger and that can trickle down (the whole Peter mess comes to mind right now, Emma comes and stays with her and she’s around all that). Robin has always remained friends with Sonny and Jason and defended them, even in dangerous situations. Etc.  
So like, the mob? Who cares, imo. Psychos are gonna psycho. Jerry is gonna poison the town. Ava is gonna switch peoples meds. Julian is gonna plant bombs. Desperate people are gonna kidnap babies. The Kristina’s of the world are gonna join cults. Serial killers come around pretty often. Cars crash a lot (as do buses and planes and boats). Cassadines are gonna Cassadine. I mean, this show has had aliens and evil weather machines and whatever the fuck the toxic balls story was. It never ends, and it rarely is mob related. 
So to summarize: I don’t think Sam puts her kids’ lives in danger (not any more than any other character). The danger has almost always been a weird external element. She and her kids have never really been in MORE danger because of Jason than they would be otherwise and so the mob itself almost never factors into what I think about them as a couple. Or what I think of the characters on the show in general. 
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kannra21 · 6 years
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Monoma loving hours and I'm actually very tired by now
*I know many of you have already discussed similar things so I decided to add my own opinion as well. Hope you enjoy!*
Still announcing my general disappointed with ch215. Whatever, I'm glad to know Monoma's Quirk better and that the clocks he's working with are more than just some accessories on his belt.
I think they're really cool and help him overcome his small disadvantages a whole lots *well, not in the circumstances he was currently in but I'd like to see him more in action and actually using them*.
So basically he snaches them from his belt. Destroys them and-
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Voilà, the Quirk is out.🎊
5min limit doesn't mean anything to him if he can use 4 different Quirks in 20min. However, he needs to use them very wisely because every Quirk doesn't work the same way and they also have to be suitable for the problem he's facing at that moment. That's where his ability to adapt and manage new situations comes in.
I don't want to exaggerate or anything but I think in terms of intelligence, he comes right after Yaoyoroz because damn, you need to have a top-notch brain for such tricky things.
Too sad that strength plays the leading role in their hero world. If you have power, it doesn't matter how or why you're doing the things you do. As long as you can destroy everything that comes in your way, there's nothing that can stop you from getting what you want which sounds... kinda villainous in a way, don't you think?
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Shigaraki is right. The main difference between a hero and a villain is that heroes are fighting for the good and villains for the evil. But the main question remains- are the heroes really good and are the villains really evil? First of all, heroes and villains both came from the same type of society- people, normal civilians.
Becoming a hero or a villain is a choice, not a lifestyle. Heroes are there to protect people and villains are there to harm them. Why? Heroes want to make them feel happy and safe while villains want the opposite. What's the matter with the villains? This-
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People are constantly judging and not thinking about the consequences they're causing to others. They always ended up comparing themselves to those who are much more superior and successful, making them building a sense of insecurity and fear.
They were forced to push themselves beyond their limits in order to prove themselves and show how far they can possibly go. They had to let them know that their criticism didn't reach them as they were facing their challenges with anticipation.
They could easily turn villainous but no, they choose to protect those same judging idiots who repeatedly let them down/hurt them/accused them/ignored their efforts, all for the sake of becoming their better selves. By choosing the right path, they already confirmed how strong and capable they are and they'll make exceptional heroes one day. In conclusion, there is no way Monoma will become a villain because he already reached this far and gained other's trust. He made friends who are looking after him. He's already a part of something big which he can't abandon this easily.
BTW
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This is the ultimate proof that Monoma isn't entirely obsessed with class a as many think he is. He's simply mad at anyone who's trying to show off class b by stealing their spotlight. His class is the best, try to prove him wrong and he won't give you any piece of mind.
He's so dedicated to his rambling that he doesn't mind Kirishima's friendly exchange with Tetsutetsu in the background. It's clear that the hatred he feels is directed towards Bakugou for obvious reasons. While Monoma is the group's person, Bakugou does everything on his own and hates when someone interfers with his business to the point where he becomes arrogant and rude. I can't recall Monoma being any of it because he only uses people's failures as an example to make them feel bad about themselves and we all know that the truth hurts the most.
I'm not defending him or anything, what he does is certainly not nice, but I want to say that his way of expressing bitterness is much more effective than Bakugou's because he makes sense at some point. Bakugou just acts like a thug.
And while he certainly does behave like an absolute madman, I'll still love Bakugou and Monoma equally because there's that one thing Monoma doesn't really understand about Bakugou's personality and that's his undying wish of becoming no.1 world's greatest hero. It's his ambition from an young age which pushed him further into accomplishing his goals. Yes it sounds selfish and yes it seems like he doesn't give a damn about others, but that's his lifelong dream which he can't give up to a friend just for the sake of being nice to each other.
From the flashbacks of the kindergarten we could see how many expectations and how much pressure people were putting on him because of his talent. His mom accused him of being weak and causing trouble for the entire U. A. when in fact, the school was guilty of his kidnapping and took responsibility for it's mistakes. He was raised to solve his problems through violence, he doesn't know for any other way. So it's not arrogance, he's just ambitious but shows it in a rearher inappropriate manner.
Monoma doesn't like that and I can understand why. Unlike Bakugou, Monoma is an underdog. No one ever cheered for him or supported his goals. When he saw Bakugou and his indifference or rather ignorance towards his audience, he thought he was acting ungrateful and that pissed him off. Especially because Monoma is the most grateful out of all the characters.
He wants to be recognized among the crowd and accepted by his peers by means of finding a place where he truly belongs, something he couldn't achieve when he was little. Bakugou doesn't yearn for fame or money. He wants to prove himself and push his limits because winning is what heroes do. Their life goals are different but their ways of dealing with things are surprisingly similar. They're throwing shade wherever they go and they're incredibly noisy, with Bakugou spreading insults and Monoma mocking every living soul but that's the way they are and people grew accustomed to it.
I mean look at this-
Similarities:
blond
smart
rude
sad
sarcastic
uncomfortable
embarrassed
In conclusion:
They share the same level of bitterness + their friends(Tetsu and Kiri) are also very good friends which indicates their similar tastes in people they appreciate.
Also something from Noragami:
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"YOU HATE THOSE THE MOST LIKE YOURSELF"
Tbh if bnha was all about class 1b, Monoma would be, in fact, favorable because everyone would have a bad impression of class 1a for being rude and arrogant thanks to Bakugo since we'd only see 1b's side of the story. And although everyone made friends with each other and now are staying on good terms, they're still having this sort of rivalry between them which is completely normal considering the fact that 1a still precedes in particular aspects.
Despite this friendship, Monoma does not believe them in a slightest. He looks at their relationship in a way that class 1a uses their friendship to distract them from trying to be better than them. If you are in good relations with someone, it is natural that you will go easy on them because of the empathy we feel towards others. He thinks they're playing them in order to get what they want. It affects their reputation as a hero and class 1a represents their concurrency so it isn't all about some friendship between kids, it's their future and their careers that get affected as well.
But then again, Monoma isn't fighting for his own selfish purposes, he's doing it for his class. He loves his class from the bottom of his heart and he wants them to succeed, that's why he's so annoying. Class 1a represents their concurrency, they're taking away their spotlight. They're limiting their chances of becoming pro heroes while class 1b is so much better than them and that's what actually bugs Monoma.
They’ve worked just as hard as class 1a, they’ve overcome all the same scholastic obstacles and yet it’s always 1a on the news, 1a in the papers, 1a surviving yet another dramatic and utterly glamorous supervillain encounter. See, 1a gets all the luck.
If he was selfish, narcissistic and egoistic, he'd constantly complain about deserving his place among the best in class 1a but no, he's proud to be with his friends because b class is all about solidarity and teamwork. His class loves him and he's getting along with everyone just fine. His cooperation stats are 4/5, he's a very friendly person.
His intelligence and tactics stats are 5/5, he's a smart person and he obviously doesn't do shit without a reason. His power and speed stats are 1/5, he's weak and very insecure in himself. Naturally he would develop a inferiority complex to protect himself but at the same time trash talks himself to talk up his class which I find very funny and kinda sympathetic in a way.
I bet everyone's just seeing this annoying side of him but there's so much more to his character and Kendou understands that all too well. That's why they're never arguing or fighting for their own beliefs because she knows how much he's hurting. And it's not just him, most of his classmates are also having a sort of rivalry with class 1a but they're being less obvious about it.
Seing this side of him made me start to really like him. He's a sad character with a great desire to belong somewhere and that's probably the reason why I can't possibly hate him. That's just my opinion but I hope others can relate as well. ❤️❤️❤️
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rainbowglittr · 6 years
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Senior Year Chapter 5
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Chapter 5
Cause baby now we got bad blood
You know we used to be mad love
So take a look what you've done
Cause baby now we got bad blood.............
Kiara, Robyn and I walked into the gym. Robyn's mom dropped us off. We got ready together, Robyn in her shimmery green dress, Kiara in ocean blue, and me in a sparkly sliver and black dress. We were speechless-it didn't even look like the gym, it was amazing. The whole place was dark and had glow sticks and black and strobe lights all around. It looked like a glow in the dark club. People were dancing and laughing to the music. We looked around for the rest of our friends and found them front and center right by the Dj. The music was blasting to the point where I could feel it vibrating through my chest.
"Hey! You look great!" We exchanged compliments and talked about the decorations. Then a couple walked up to us. Tyler kept it simple with a nice black top and tie. I mean he looked great in black, Mariah, had a long flowy white dress with gold accents. Her hair was in a Hollywood updo. She was a little overdone for home coming but she looked good.
"Hey guys, did we miss anything?" Said Tyler.
"Nah, party just got started. You guys look good!" Said Jesse. Now I'm like 99% sure they coordinated their outfits, cause Jesse was wearing practically the same thing as Tyler except his tie was blue instead of red. Everyone was kind of chilling and talking, but when the Dj started playing "Single Ladies"by Beyonće everyone got up and when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE, rushed to the dance floor. Everyone was jumping and moving and shaking and (unfortunately, that may or may not have included Mariah), twerking. Song after song we were laughing, dancing, and watching the already tipsy people, and the people who couldn't save it for the bedroom. Soon Robyn got dragged away by Kyle, go figure. Jesse and Kiara got pulled away by some friends and soon enough it was just me, Tyler, and Mariah. Surprisingly we were having fun and dancing together. I gave them space so that I wasn't third wheeling and saw and danced with some other friends I happened to see. She didn't try to pull any stunts, I mean she could have done A LOT less of twerking on Tyler but I wasn't surprised. Mariah even complimented my dress, and my make-up which was shocking, I guess she really was trying to be nice. I felt weird once a slower song came on, so I just moved away to give them space. I had to admit they were a really cute couple, and even though Mariah can piss me off, she makes Tyler happy; so I guess that's all that really matters. I started scanning the crowd for my friends. No luck. It was too dark to see anyone. When I turned around again the music sped up a bit and Tyler said he'd come back with some drinks for us.
"You guys looked really cute over there." I said to Mariah as we stood to the side looking over the crowd.
"Shut the fuck up, Jaleia. We are NOT even anything close to being friends." Mariah sneered. I was actually taken aback by her comment. What the hell happened to being nice???
"What? Are you okay?"
"You fucking heard me. Don't even bother acting like we're friends, I'm only being nice because Tyler told me I had to."
"I have to admit you are quite the actress. But you won't be able to fool anyone much longer. A fake ho will always reveal her true colors."
"Maybe if someone found you even slightly attractive you wouldn't be third wheeling with me and my boyfriend, who I know you want but you're too much of an fucking ugly disgusting worthless bitch for him to even think about wanting you. He will never choose you over me no matter how long you've been friends. When you're done acting like a thirsty slut maybe someone will want you. So please fuck off cause you'll never have him. You only wish you could compete with me, dog face. Tyler and everyone else don't give two shits about you. But You look so pretty tonight." Mariah smiled at me and flipped her hair. I was so pissed. I know I shouldn't have let her get to me, I know but I just wanted to rip her ugly stupid head off. So I did the next best thing to that. I pushed her flat on her ass and was thinking about  slapping the concealer off her face.
"You have got to be the biggest bitch on the planet. I can't wait for Tyler to dump your ass. You're nothing but an unhappy bitch and that's all you will ever be. Fuck you!" Before I could even continue my tirade or hit her I was being lifted away from her by no other than Tyler himself.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? That's my fucking girlfriend! I thought that you would actually appreciate her being extra nice. I tried so hard not to believe what everyone has been saying but you? I swear you're such a bitch sometimes! I don't even know why I bothered!" he screamed at me once we were away from the crowd. Me and Tyler have had some really bad, horrible, fights before but he's never ever called me a bitch. Ever. I was beyond pissed.
"Me? You're mad at me? You didn't ever hear what she was saying to me. You don't even know all the things she's said behind your back! She's the bitch! I was trying to be nice but-"
"Oh please Jaleia, I heard her complement you, and you attacked her for no reason! I tried to defend you. I told everyone that we were just friends, that you weren't like that. I even told her she had to be nice to you because you were important to me. I didn't think that you were that jealous that you can't even control your fucking self!"
"What the does that even mean? I didn't do anything wrong! You can watch the way your speaking to me! And what the hell is "everyone" saying?"
"Since you want to know, everyone thinks you're jealous of Mariah. That you'd try and steal me from from her, and that you're a ho. And I have to say I agree with them. You're jealous! You always have been whenever I had a girlfriend, you've always acted ridiculous. You're threatened and jealous of Mariah. You just proved that."
"I'm the ho? Check your fucking girlfriend! You have your head so far up your ass you can't even see it! SHE'S A TOTAL BITCH! See how she'll do you when the shit hits the fan. Does our friendship mean nothing to you? I'm not jealous. I just know she's not good for you. You know I'm not like that. You know. I ONLY WANTED THE BEST FOR YOU! Don't flatter yourself." By now I was in RAGE MODE.
"You know what Jaleia, I don't know. But what I do know is that I've had enough. I'm done with you not being able to respect my girlfriend. I'm tired of your stupid unfounded theories about her. I'm just sick of you! One minute you support our relationship the next minute you're fighting my girlfriend? I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to see you anymore, or talk to you or anything, I'm just through with you. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm so done Jaleia." He said walking away.
"Tyler-"
"Tyler what? What Jaleia what? There's nothing you can say or do to change my mind. Stay the fuck away from me and stay the fuck away from Mariah. Just fuck off." he turned away from me.
"Ty-"
"FUCK YOU! I'M DONE!" He screamed at me. He pinched the bridge of his nose just like He always does when he's stressed. "I wish it could be different but I just can't take the drama. I have to find my girlfriend now." He turned and walked away.
"Fuck you too Tyler." I said watching him walk away.
I just stood there, tears of anger falling down my face as I saw him walk away. What the hell just happened? How could he? I'm not the problem, I didn't do anything. I understand I probably shouldn't have pushed her but that bitch was fine and an extremely good faker. I just wanted to go home and forget that I just lost my best friend. I moved through the crowd looking for one of my friends but I didn't find anyone. Where the fuck was everyone? The gym wasn't that big. I walked over to where the food was, out in the hallway. I saw Robyn next to Kyle and his girlfriend who were arguing. That's literally all they ever seemed to do. I walked over to talk to Robyn when I heard his girlfriend Dana say
"I'm so fucking sick of you!" and threw a cup of punch at him but of course it doesn't land on Kyle. Guess who it lands all over...Me. My hair, face, and dress all had gotten wet with the red juice.
"You've gotta be kidding me! Of all fucking nights? Seriously?" I groaned in pure frustration. By then Kyle and his girlfriend had already stormed off.
"I am so sorry. Here's some tissues." Robyn said to me. I started to wipe myself down.
"You won't believe what just happened. Me and Tyler just got into a fight." I told her.
"Aww, I'll be right back I have to check on Kyle."
"Robyn! Seriously, I need you."
"You know how he is when he's pissed. I can't leave him alone right now! I'll be right back, I'm just checking on him."
She hurried off after him. That's great though. I get abandoned by two of my best friends and I can't find anyone else. So I walk back to the gym and sit down on the bleachers and start playing on my phone but my mind is not even there. I'm supposed to be laughing and dancing and having a great time, not covered in someone else's drink after my best friend basically says I'm not worth shit anymore. I really can't believe he took her side. Do I really mean that little to him that he can throw away our friendship just like that? Really? Is that really what everyone thinks? That I'm a jealous slut? I put my head down in my lap trying to control the tears. I'm more angry and pissed off than sad. After my birthday went so well? Mariah has a LOT of karma coming to her. And just like her karma's a bitch. A couple minutes later I feel a hand on my back.
"Jaleia." I look up to see Jesse sitting down next to me.
"Hi." I put my head back down.
"Hey, hey, hey don't do that. I wanna talk to you"
"I swear you must be the only person who does."
"Come on, I don't wanna talk to your hair, I wanna talk to your beautiful face."
"Oh please I'm ugly as shit right now don't even bother. I look like a hot fucking mess and I know it so there's no point in lying about it."
"Fine," he sighed "Can I see your face now? Please?" I looked up at him.
"Happy? And if you're here to talk about what happened then you can go back cause I don't want to talk about it." I told him.
"I'm not going to ask you that because I know you'll tell me when you want to, if you want to, and plus Tyler kinda already told me. But what I am gonna ask is will you dance with me?" He stood up and held his hand out.
"Jesse, thanks but it's been a really horrible night. I just wanna sit here and chill."
"Oh no you don't, sulking is not going to help you feel better. I'm going to ask you to dance because there's still an hour left to this dance and I want to have a good time. So I'm going to ask again. May I have this dance?" he asked holding out his hand.
"I'm also not going to take no for an answer." I put my hand In his and said
"Yes."
He lead me to the back of the dance floor. She will be loved by Maroon 5 was playing. He put his hand on my waist and I put my head on his shoulder. And we moved back and forth gently rocking to the song. Jesse sang softly in my ear along to the song.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You come anytime you want, yeah.
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
I know where you hide alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Yeah
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh.
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
[softly:]
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
"You have such a beautiful voice." I said, looking up at him as the song ended.
"Thank you," he smiled, "But where do you think you're going?"
"The song is over."
"So? If you think you're going somewhere else after it took me five hours to get you to dance with me you have another thing coming." I smiled.
"I do?"
"Hell yeah you do! Come on we're gonna have a good tine. We're gonna dance and look like idiots but we doing it together, right?" he held out his hand again. I smiled and took it and he pulled me to the rest of the crowd. As we danced he kept his hands on my waist. There was some club dancing, some salsa dancing and some awkwardly idiotic dancing. We laughed and danced and I honestly forgot about everything that happened earlier. I ditched my heels a while ago. So I actually was groaning with the rest of everyone when they turned the lights on. The only sucky part of the night was when Tyler and Mariah won homecoming king and queen. But I went to the bathroom so that I didn't have to see them get crowned.
"Look at you. No one told me how turnt up you get when you dance. I told you we we're gonna have fun."
"I know and thank you for making me get up even though I was being difficult cause I actually shockingly had a fun time. Minus the obviously sucky part."
"Your welcome. Do you have a ride home?"
"Yes I actually have to go find Robyn and Kiara cause we're supposed to leave together."
"Okay, be safe. You know I'm always there if you want to talk. Good night." he took my hand and kissed it.
"Thank you and, trust me I'll want to talk. Good night." I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then I went to find my friends.
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lightsorigins · 4 years
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Fluctuations
 When he opened his eyes, Malden remained as straight as a board. He stared at the bedroom ceiling for a few seconds before turning his head to the window. The shutters were wide open. Yet he remembered that Kieran had closed them the night before. It didn't matter. He stood up slowly and felt the icy cold of the systemic dawn make him shiver. It was around nine o'clock, the sun was rising. Even slower than he was, he thought. Malden knew that it was not easy to be more phlegmatic than he was.
      - Except you, Mr. Sun," he murmured, still leaning out the window.
      He lost himself in his thoughts for a few minutes. Now that he'd had a good time with his friend, he'd have to think about going home and face his mother's wrath for allowing himself to leave the day before. What an idea to get up so early! He remembered very well that sleep had come late, and fatigue would quickly overcome him during the day. Malden turned and saw Kieran lying on his back, his blanket over part of his body diagonally. He was sleeping with his mouth open and snoring so loudly he could have woken a dragon. The sight made him chuckle.
      Discreetly, he collected his things, put on his shoes, and left the apartment without waking anyone. He put on his headphones and played "How Long Can I Go" by "Sam Celentano". Once outside, several options came to mind. There was a park north of Lausya, where he often went to play sports. He also had a painting he had started and wanted to finish. However, the longer he stayed outside, the more problems he would have to deal with when he returned.
      - It's up to me. I can go to the park and do push-ups. Take up my painting, knowing that I might run into mom. Maybe I can give Sylva a call and see if I can't come over early. I could have stayed at Kieran's, but now that I'm out, I'm not going to wake him up to come back... And seeing as he's asleep, he won't wake up, that's for sure, he concluded by putting his hand on his face.
      Malden suddenly noticed that he had a few unread messages. Naturally, these were from his mother. The most important one was this:
"I don't appreciate your attitude lately. We'll have a discussion as soon as you get home. You know there are rules to follow in this house, and they apply to everyone, even you! »
      The first response that came to mind was "You never liked my attitude, and you never understood me. "But he found it too tiring to get into a conflict with her. It was better not to escalate the situation. Akane, his mother, had been an adventurer during her youth. During certain periods, it happened that she went on adventures for a few weeks with her old group of friends. She is a Gial (Earth) atmologist, focused on the Veltôs (Control) path, and her atmology is an ochre red. At a very young age, Akane received a strict and hard education, and also underwent many hazing which forged her character for sure. She has never been an example of softness. This hard and uncompromising character made communication with Malden particularly complicated over the years.
      It didn't matter in the end. Malden decided to get on his way and go home. He might as well face Mother Dragon as quickly as possible to put out the flames. Unfortunately, it didn't take much for his mood to be affected. These expressions from his mother reminded him how lonely he felt in his family, despite the good relationship he had with his sister Sawako, and his brother Hayate. He always ended up being seen as too intense, too whiny or touchy and moody. When he thought about it, however, Malden knew that factually he lacked nothing. He was a healthy, rather good-looking young man, good at a few subjects, athletic, with a group of sympathetic and understanding friends, a certain amount of freedom in his personal life, and so on. However, it seemed that something was missing.
      It was as if there was a void somewhere. A fear of not living up to his own image, or of failing at what he could do. He was so special that he could be admired for the strangeness of his thoughts and artistic productions, but also stigmatized, and found "weird", or "unapproachable", to use terms he had heard about himself. Yet he longed to be accepted for who he was, without becoming like everyone else.
    When he opened the door to the apartment, he expected to find his mother getting ready for work. Instead, he found Sawako sitting in the kitchen. She was having breakfast: a glass of hot delicatessen milk with a little pethmergale sugar. The whole thing made the milk look dark and creamy. She was reading a manga while smoking a cigarette.
      - Hi! he said. I didn't think you'd be here at this hour. I thought I'd find Mom instead.
 -      Nah, she left pretty early this morning to buy some stuff. I don't think she's gonna be back for a while. Where did you go anyway? Kieran's?
      - Yeah. We wanted to watch "Alvist Wars" quietly, but Isaac had come into my room yesterday to snoop on something. I yelled at her, she got involved and... well, you know mom.
      - Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, she wasn't too happy about it. In fact, she was angry that you broke like that. I understand, but you could have avoided it, or told me about it. I would have tempered the situation a bit, you know how I usually do.
      - I know, but Kieran kind of rushed me, I didn't have much time to make my decision. I've done this plenty of times before, but it seems like yesterday was worse than usual. Why is that?
      - Didn't Mom tell you what we have to do tonight?
      - No?
      - Okay, too weird. Well, actually we're supposed to go to Welliyo with Dad, Mom and Helen to see Melva. Maybe there's some news about her memory, but nothing transcendent you know.
      Malden hiccupped in surprise and recoiled slightly. He felt stupid, but also excluded for not having been kept in the loop.
      - Is she serious? Why didn't she tell me?
      - I think she was going to propose to you yesterday.
      - Suggesting me the day before for the day after? What if I had something to do? Yes, I would have canceled. I would cancel anything to go see Melva, but still.
      - Anyway, chances are that's why she's so upset about your escapade yesterday. You should just apologize and tell her you'll be there tonight, if you want to be safe. I'll cover for you, but do what I say. I mean, I'll figure out how to fix it, I'll improvise.
      - And you think you can get Isaac to stop making my life miserable?
      - Don't worry, I'll work it out by ruining his. There are a few things he and I need to discuss. He's still asleep, but I'm setting him up for a real wake-up call.
      - You're handling it, thanks. I have to go see Sylvania this afternoon. Do you think you can handle that too?
      - Consider it done," Sawako replied, winking at him. 
 Malden knew he could always count on her in many circumstances. At 27 years old, she was the oldest of her siblings, and therefore the one with the authority right after her parents. And fortunately, Sawako had a lot in common with Malden. Both of them were very sensitive and attached to their deepest values, but Sawako tended to be more withdrawn and passive than her brother. She was a specialist in the art of running away and saying nothing, letting go, sleeping and lazing around. Beyond her studies in water atmology, she loved to write poetry, fiction, and play video games with horror, romance, and role-playing themes. At least that's what her mother told her. Malden, on the other hand, was much more active and enjoyed going out, shopping and discovering more about the world around him. With his pocket money, he bought a lot of things like incense, posters and an infinite amount of clothes that he could wear according to his moods. Besides,
    since he would have to go back to Sylvania in the afternoon, he started looking for different clothes to change into after his shower. Leaving his hair down, Malden put a diamond-shaped earring in his left ear, as well as a golden pendant with a small sphere. He put on a gray sweater with "N.O.T.H.I.N.G." in bright green letters. Further down, in small print, it read "Nobody On This Healthiest Irrelevant Narrow-minded Globality. ». Malden liked to wear this sweater when he wasn't sure how he felt. He often hoped that those closest to him would be able to decode this information and understand how he was feeling by carefully observing how he dressed. But it never worked.He went to his room to finish getting ready. After putting on his black shorts and sneakers, the same green as his sweater's typography, he heard his mother coming back to the apartment. Sawako immediately struck up a conversation with her. Malden reached out to listen.
      - Malden is back to the point.
      - Is he in his room?
      - Yeah, but I think it's best to leave it alone for a bit today.
      - Oh no! Have you seen how he's acting right now? I have to talk to him, this is too much. And he doesn't answer the messages I leave! That's not an attitude!
      - I know, I know mom. But he's a teenager, so you have to imagine that he's going to do a few more silly things like that.
      - Sawako, do you defend your brother when he takes the wrong path? Do you think you're helping him to act that way?
      Akane spoke loudly and raised her voice with every sentence. She was panting, exhausted from bringing all the groceries alone from the store. Despite her intensive training as a fighter, she was much less active since she had built her family life, and was therefore much more quickly tired for actions that, in her youth, were just a walk in the park for her.
 -      Plus no one helped me with the groceries today! I have to do everything alone in this house, it's not possible! Call your father for me, so he can come and help me clean up instead of sleeping again!
      - Mom, I'm not defending Malden, but I think you're overreacting a bit. He just went to Kieran's. He wanted to watch "Alvist Wars" and he came home early. He's doing well in school and he doesn't have bad company. Don't you think you should leave him alone for a while and deal with Suzanne and Hayate, who are always provoking him?
      - Yes, yes it's good. Okay, I'll leave it. Let him do. Call your father now. Is Malden coming tonight so we can go visit Melva, yes or no?
      - It will be there.
      Malden smiled broadly and clenched his fist in victory. What could he do without Sawako? He felt himself growing wings. The weekend would probably be much more enjoyable than he had imagined. Grabbing his cell phone, he decided to send a message to Sylvania.
      "Hi Sylva 😊! Do you think we could eat together this lunch? Like, at a snack bar not too far from your place, and then we spend the afternoon together like we said? »
      Every time he took the time to send her a message, Malden's hands were shaking and sweaty. Would he choose the right words? Was he being pushy? Or too weird? Did she realize how he felt about her? And even worse: did he really feel something for her? And this something, was it love? It was so complex for him to understand, so difficult to be totally sure, considering the particular situation. Didn't she just remind him of his sister, who is now in the hospital and he misses her so much? Malden didn't know. He always came to the conclusion that it was probably best to let it go and see where it would take him.
      His phone vibrated. It was her. She had just answered! He hurried to open the message.
      "Hi Malden! That's a really cool proposal. Where do you want to eat? And what do you want to eat? Something usual and not too far away, just to do it quietly? »
      "Noon, at the pizza place across the street from you? »
 "Perfect! See you later! »
      Since everything was already planned, all he had to do was spend the time he had left doing something he liked. So he threw himself into the painting he had started a few days ago. Malden was fond of searching for photographs of various places in the Mysticiën, and recently his attention had been drawn to pictures of the Omaltäb Forests in Almarosa territory to the south. He was busy redrawing the trees with pink, dark blue, green or even black foliage that could be found there. The simple fact of smelling the paint in the room made him feel a certain fullness that nothing else could give him. After taking care to lock the door of his room so as not to be disturbed, he painted for a long time and moved forward on his canvas. If for some reason he couldn't become an alvist or a martial artist, Malden knew he would become a painter and would do everything he could to fulfill that dream. And even if he did become an alvist and a martial artist, he would be a painter too! With his savings, he vowed to buy a high performance camera and take photographs from original angles and then redesign and paint unusual places in the country, giving them a special interpretation with special color schemes. This was how he would communicate to the world the way he perceived and felt the universe. This idea excited him.
      Shortly before the appointment time, Malden rushed to the front door to get going. When he opened it, he passed the kitchen, where he saw his parents preparing dinner. While he was already on the landing, he heard his mother's authoritative voice.
      - Be back by five o'clock, we'll go see Melva. We won't wait for you forever.
      - Uh, yes, Mom. See you tonight!
      - That's it," she said dismissively.
      The sun was shining on Lausya, accompanied by a rather strong wind. A gust of wind blew straight towards Malden, removing his hood and messing up his hair. He who wanted to be elegant for Sylvania, it was from now on lost pain. He sighed discreetly while putting back his hood. That was not going to dry his good mood found. He was now listening to "Apricot" by "Sam Celentano". Malden could already imagine himself with Sylvania teaching him some scales and making him listen to her melodies. Her calmness, her kindness and her rigor were for him like nectar and ambrosia. He admired her terribly, and these sentimental questions about her were very recent. But he had known her for a few years already.
      After a few minutes, Malden reached the main square where Sylvania and her mother lived. There was a fountain in the center, and some stone slabs decorated with flowers tended by the city's gardeners. A few people were there, including groups of children who had come to buy pancakes or ice cream, despite the cold season. Sitting under a white umbrella at one of the many tables of the local pizzeria, Sylvania was waiting patiently, her phone in hand. She had let her long red hair down, was wearing a white dress with blue polka dots and a small silver necklace and a pair of simple earrings of the same complexion. When she saw Malden, she waved at him.
      - Hi! How are you? I'm so hungry! I've already reserved a table for the two of us, so what should we order? Asked she, cheerful.
      - I'll probably have a salad with a slice of pizza. I'm not very hungry, but it'll do for me!
      - Are you sure you'll have enough energy to listen to my news and convince me to join your group if you don't eat enough? She joked.
      - Don't worry about it. I want you to join us enough, I don't need a pizza to help me!
      After they had actually placed their order, the two young people ate together and talked about the rain and the weather. Malden admired the way Sylvania spoke about her extracurricular activities, but also her involvement in various social struggles. She was already very active on Signold - a well-known social network on Elzetarân - and shared many videos about animal causes and ecology. Sylvania already seemed to be a big shot and followed very closely the actions of the Renovators' Guild. It was a group of atmologists and adventurers of all kinds, formed several decades ago. They were in charge of monitoring the development of the ecosystems and biomes of Elzetari after certain confrontations, whose damage could have seriously damaged various places and destroyed the fauna, as well as the flora.
      Time passed without them noticing. Soon enough, they finished their meal and went to Sylvania. Coming from a well-to-do family, they lived in a large residence where the richest inhabitants of Lausanne were to be found. The mayor, Oscar Fanghël, lived nearby with his wife and son. Malden was always impressed when he set foot in Sylvania's house: everything was always so clean! The living room seemed huge and everything he saw seemed to be priceless. The marble walls of a very light and sober
grey were decorated with paintings showing fantastic scenes. One could see atmological warriors fighting carniocs and wild creatures in the skies, unleashing various elemental forces.
      - Every time you come over, you can't help but leave your eyes glued to the picture in the living room. You know I'm going to end up asking my mom if I can give it to you, right?
      Malden flinched and blushed. He had never realized how much these paintings could absorb him. The idea that he might be seen to be lusting after them embarrassed him.
      - Oh no, not at all! It's just... I really wish I had a talent like that. You know, I see how well the color scheme is mastered, it drives me crazy! There is the light, so well reflected, and the contrast between the atmos used by the fighters on the painting, the expression of pain on the creatures, and even the effects of the wind that blows even though we don't see it. It's beautiful. Every time I see it, I feel like it's the first one.
      - I think it was Cleora Stolteïska who made this painting. I would have to see it again with my mother. And it seems to me that she is still alive. Maybe one day, if you meet her, you can ask her how she did it?
 Malden's eyes seemed to light up. He began to do some research on his cell phone and found more of the painter's work.
 -      Wow, she's so good... If I met her, I wouldn't even know how to ask her questions. Well, anyway, I'll deal with that when I get home. For now, I have someone else talented to admire on her compositions, right?
      - Don't overdo it! I'm just getting by on my mom's classes when it comes to reproducing classics. For my creations, it remains to be seen... I'm not very comfortable with the idea of doing new things, that go out of the box, I'm afraid it won't be very pleasant to the ear, also because...
      - Hey, Sylva! he interrupted her. It's not serious, you have to try in life. Let me listen!
      - But if you think it's ugly, you probably won't want me in your group.
      - Does this mean that you want to join our group so badly that I don't actually need to convince you?
      She hiccupped with surprise and put her hands in front of her mouth. Sylvania had tricked herself. She was more interested in the idea of being part of this music group that was forming than anything else, but she didn't want it to be so obvious. She would still be seen as the girl with no friends, who craved acceptance from others.
      - It's true," she sighed. Well, enough wasted time. Sit down on the couch. I'll play you this little piece. I was inspired by "rocking horse" by "Etolica. ».
      Without adding a word, Malden settled comfortably on the black velvet sofa. Sylvania took her turn on the small purple seat where she sat to play the piano. She had her back to him, slowly positioning her fingers on the keys. The girl took a deep breath before starting to play the first notes of her composition. The start was awkward but soon she gained confidence and began to play with more assurance. The notes flowed together with a certain smoothness.
      To Malden, it was as if a beautiful story was being told. He was so impressed by her dexterity that he wanted to get closer to her to better admire her performance. However, for fear of distracting her, he preferred to stay behind and come without making any noise. She was in front of the large window, giving on a great part of the city. He admired the view as he listened to the soft melody played by his friend, while he imagined how these notes would blend with Teano's expertise on the guitar, Kieran's voice and his drumming.
      The listening went on for almost three minutes, during which time Malden was totally transported. He found himself re-admiring the painting by Cleora Stolteïska that hung on the living room wall. This creation and Sylvania's composition went so well together that he imagined one day he would be a painter of masterpieces and she a professional pianist, creating melodies around his world-renowned paintings. An exciting future, from which he exited as soon as Sylvania gave the last note of her essay. A few seconds were necessary for her to come back to reality. She took again a big inspiration, then she got up and turned slowly towards her friend. The window was left open, and a cold breeze crossed the room and shook her long dress as well as her hair. An image that stuck in Malden's mind and he swore to himself that he would paint this scene.
      - There, now you know my little music. I know it's probably too soft for what you're doing, but it's the best I have in stock right now.
 -      Sylvania, it's really beautiful. It's probably silly and simple as an opinion, but I don't know what else to add... Then, I don't play the piano, so I imagine that there are things to be revised, it's possible. But anyway, I really liked it. You know Kieran, he likes it when it moves a little bit more, but then Teano will be over the moon, you can believe me!
      - Do you think so? She asked hesitantly, as she nervously played with her fingers.
      - I don't think so: I know so! Will you show me some other things? Songs you learned with your mother for example, maybe we could rework some of them and see how to create other songs together from that!
      - It's a good idea. So, let's see...
      All afternoon long, Sylvania and Malden discussed and studied in detail different compositions, some of which they took care to select to present to Malden and Teano. Gradually, more than his ambiguous attraction to Sylvania, it was his passion for art and music that took over. He was very curious and concentrated in these tasks, as she was too.
      Since the time for him to be reunited with his family was fast approaching, Malden prepared to leave to avoid being late. But just before he left, Sylvania received a phone call that seemed to puzzle her.
      - An unexpected call? he asked.
      - Well... It's Annabelle. You know, the girl in Sara's class.
      He looked at her with a puzzled look.
      - Maybe it's her mother calling? I think she works with yours, right?
      - Not anymore. They kept in touch but... Well, wait. "Hello?" She says.
      "Yes, Sylvania? It's Annabelle. Sorry, we haven't talked in a while, but I've been trying to reach Sara and even her brother but no one answers! »
      "No worries Anna. But do you need anything? »
      "This will probably sound weird to you, but my grandfather came back from a long trip a few days ago. And you'll never guess: he brought back with him a Phelidus Tenebris! »
      As Sylvania turned on the speaker phone, Malden also heard the news. He struggled to keep his astonishment from being heard. The Pelidus, whatever their nature, were extremely powerful creatures and known to be dangerous.
      "A Phelidus? " Sylvania repeated, worried. "It's still very dangerous! Do the authorities know that this creature is here, in Lausya? What do you want us to do for you? »
      "She's dying and has little ones... six to be exact. That's a bit long, and I don't have much time. Listen, I wish you could come to my house together as soon as possible, you and Sara and the others. Grandpa will be there, he'll be able to explain. »
      "I... well, okay Annabelle. I hope it's nothing serious anyway. I'll see what I can do to keep them updated and get back to you! »
      "Thank you Sylva! »
      She hung up her phone and looked at Malden, stunned.
      - A Pelidus with babies... How often do you hear such stories?
 -      Even the participants of "War of the Alvists" don't have Pelidus! Malden added. The thing I remember is that his grandfather must be really good. Renyu says you can only find them at Failghost Manor. And do you know what they say about that manor?
      - Yeah, that it's haunted or something... We'll talk about it again, I should let you go before your mom gives you a hard time for being late. It's already a miracle my mom wasn't there today and we got to see each other, might as well not ruin the end of the day!
      - You're right, I'm leaving. I forgot one thing! I think you're meeting Teano later on, right?
      - Yes, and he has to spend the night at Renyu's house right after.
      - You can tell him that I did some research the other day, and I found a luthier that might be of interest to him, since he wanted to try his hand at the electric guitar.
      With that, Malden and Sylvania parted ways. He walked through the spacious corridors of the building before finding himself outside, taken by the temperature which seemed to have dropped a few degrees compared to the early afternoon. Happy with this exciting afternoon, he then thought about what he would learn when he arrived at the hospital with his family. If Melva remembered him, at least for a few seconds during the visit, nothing could make him happier. But Malden refused to deny it. With his headphones in, he shuffled along, his imagination conjuring up the worst scenarios about his sister's shattered memory. His mood wavered again.
      When he arrived home, his parents were getting ready to leave. Sawako was already ready, a long dark blue leather coat on her back and her black hair done up in a neat bun. Aware of her brother's difficulty in dealing with this situation, she simply patted him on the shoulder and gave him a hug.
      - Don't worry Maldou, she'll remember us one day. The more we go to see her, the more it will help her.
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Dear Fred: You are right, I'm wrong, and I apologize. I want you to go to church so that you will have a better life, and an easier life. That is not and should not be the reason one goes to church. The reason that we share the gospel, the reason we go to church, the reason we do missionary work is so that (we and) others can grow spiritually, and learn, and do what we need to to get back to Our Maker. Good luck with your meeting. My prayers are with you -- and you don't need to know that.
The problem with the mindset of going to church to have a better an easier life is... that’s not how it works. That’s just not how it works at all. I can pray, go to church, pay my tithing, take the sacrament... but that doesn’t guarantee that things will go well for me. You can do everything right and still die a horrible painful death at the hands of your enemies. If that kind of mindset does anything, it makes me more spiteful and angry when things DON’T go well despite me doing all that. In the long run it damages my already depleted faith. I don’t expect God to do anything for me, because I’ll just be horribly let down if he doesn’t or if someone’s free agency gets in the way (coughruinedmarriagecough). I also know that God expects us to do as much for ourselves as we can. God also isn’t there to answer ALL the questions. He just won’t. If you need real-time practical advice it’s YOUR job to get it if you can. You might get a feeling one way or another if necessary, but even I know God isn’t going to hold your hand through everything.
Yesterday I needed practical advice. I needed to know from an outside source whether or not I had enough evidence to defend myself or whether I needed more. And in times like that my anxiety is too high to hear the spirit if I even WAS getting anything out of that. As far as my unlucky streak goes, I’ve done everything right and STILL had the world fall around my ears. As it turns out me falling down the stairs has saved me from having to move 80lb boxes of charts around as a wild goose chase. ... so there’s that.
As for me not going to Church... and other misc. spiritual things such as my level of faith and whether or not I’m shaking my fist at God (I’m not) is between me and God. Generally speaking all the times I’ve gotten angry and thrown out that God has no play in the situation and I don’t want to hear about it is because when you bring it up it’s brought up to me as “____ isn’t going well for you because you’re not doing what God wants you to.” .... that’d be between me and God... and you don’t know that that’s the case... especially when the following sentence is “I guess you have to figure out what you’re doing wrong.” If God punished you for not doing EVERYTHING as you should ALL THE TIME... he wouldn’t be God... he’d be Lucifer... you’re playing to Lucifer’s ideals...
If your answer is “Maybe God just doesn’t want you to right now.” That could very well be the case... but as I do not have the Liahona... and as much as I’ve tried to make it magically appear under my couch... I’m not going to get a direct message of where to go or what to do then... and I KNOW God is not very likely to just drop the solutions in my lap. Kind of like the guy in the flood who’s about to drown but turned down all his opportunities to be saved because it wasn’t God saving him... I can’t just wait around for God to fix it... I have to assume that any opportunity that crosses my path *might* be meant for me and I have to go after them. I’m going to be hella disappointed if things fall through... but if I wait for a FOR SURE gift from God... I’m going to fucking drown.
If the answer is “It’s the DEVIL!” A lot of things are the Devil... some of those things are actually God... others are just the Matrix and Free Agency... it’s best to just assume it’s the Matrix and or Free Agency unless proven otherwise... because to think it’s either of the above, you just ruin your faith by wondering why God won’t eventually relieve the burden... which then leads to fist shaking.
As for me not going to Church, or paying Tithing right now... the practice of going to church is to gain more knowledge and faith in the gospel... which I’m not going to do on the hallway couch talking to my mom. I mean, in the classroom I can AT LEAST catch the purpose of the lesson. The rooms were too cramped for me to even want to be in them, because too many people gives me anxiety... so I have been called to inactivity. Something I’d think you could understand. But the terms and conditions of my call to inactivity and whether or not I’m going to be “punished” for not going (I’m not) are between me and God.
For Tithing. I was paying Tithing. I was paying Tithing faithfully... and you know what... I was facing the threat of soon to be bouncing checks or not eating. So I quit paying tithing, because I couldn’t afford to. I just flat out could. not. afford. that 10%. Not everyone can. How many stories of faithful Mormons elsewhere have we heard who literally had nothing with which to pay Tithing. Literally they pay things with trades and whenever they DO have money it goes straight to the church. I don’t live in a place where I can pay things in trades. And facing down the idea of not being able to pay my bills was LITERALLY affecting my mental and emotional stability and the peace of the household. We flat out were not receiving the blessings of tithing... for what reason I cannot say, it’s none of my business. So I quit paying my Tithe... and you know what? We’re not facing bounced checks or late bills or potential hospital visits because I haven’t eaten. There’s less worry. I don’t think this is a “trick of the Devil” that’s going to end when the other shoe decides to drop. God is not Lucifer in that matter. I think it’s a little bit like when you eat breakfast on Fast Sunday because otherwise you’ll get sick. You don’t get punished for that. And so the Terms and Conditions of my temporary leave of tithe is again between me and God. If you want my personal opinion on this matter... you’ve driven me SO HARD to do everything right, everything by the book, EVERYTHING God wants me to do. EVERYTHING RIGHT. out of FEAR.... I repeat FEAR... that if I didn’t God would punish me and take everything away from me and I would suffer.. that this is a lesson in NO that’s not how God works. I DON’T have to do everything right. I DON’T HAVE to go to Church every Sunday. I don’t HAVE to pay my tithe to the penny. I don’t HAVE to read my scriptures nightly, say my prayers, go to all side meetings, get my patriarchal blessing, have Family home evening, have a Temple Marriage and an idealistic Mormon life. I don’t have to be a perfect Mormon to get God’s love and Blessings. I just HAVE TO DO MY BEST.
I think that’s the lesson I’ve been meant to learn here. Even if I do everything right doesn’t mean I’m going to get ALL the blessings available. My family dissolved even when I was doing everything right. But I thought maybe it was me who was still doing something wrong... I couldn’t figure out what it was so I became angry... and then the Tithing thing happened... I’m not paying tithing but I’m getting the blessings OF tithing... in so much as I can make ends meet without stressing out about it. Solidifying that I DON’T have to do everything perfect 100% to get God’s love and Blessings... and if I’m unable to do everything perfect and to a T that’s OK. Because as long as I’m doing my best God will make up the difference.
And I think that’s something you also need to take out of this. You cannot force someone to Church. You cannot force people to do what they should. Dangling the carrot of God’s blessings is a wonderful bit of incentive (and also the cause of severe mental complexes and anxiety) ... but if that carrot doesn’t pull through like you promise... well... you could potentially chase someone AWAY from the gospel. It’s not your job to force or coerce someone to stay. Don’t be Lucifer. It’s your job to teach your children right from wrong and why (not just because God says so) help them understand the teachings of the gospel, and hope that they use those teachings and those tools and continue being faithful members on their own. Otherwise they could be robbed of ALL their blessings even if they are doing everything as they should.
Outside of that, what you DO have is a plethora of life experience and practical advice... and sometimes it’s that, that passing of the knowledge of experience is what is needed at that point in time. Sometimes God’s answer to someone’s prayer is YOU and the knowledge only YOU hold.
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Never A Dull Morning
Clare: didn't let boys see her undergarments. Even though she'd starting buying more interesting bras and panties last year, it was for herself not them. Of course Dakota hadn't actually done anything wrong. "It's just private." She explained. "Thank you for understanding." Her cheeks were still pink as she got dressed. Clare wasn't going to explain her weird logic in front of Emi. How she could go without wearing a bra in front of him but wasn't ready for him to see it. Clare was a little shocked after she succesfully beat up Bren. She'd learned how to do that after the whole Fitz threatening her and Eli with a knife incident because it was important to be able to defend herself. Had she gone too far? Bren hadn't actually touched her. Emi was here though and she needed to know it wasn't okay for boys to talk to girls like that even ones who weren't strangers. (Although to Clare, Bren was.) Bren didn't get a free pass. Especially after behaving like that in front of a five year old! He should be ashamed of himself! Besides Clare knew she couldn't hurt Bren badly, she didn't know how to do more than (hopefully) get him to leave her alone from now on. She stepped outside with Kota and slowly breathed in and out trying to calm down. "Is he always like that?" Clare asked. "No problem. I don't want to confuse her. Foreign languages aren't easy for me. I always want to pronounce words exactly how they are written. But in Spanish a J is prounced like an H, in Russian an I is pronounced like an E. So on and so forth. I guess that's why I like French, it's the same alaphabet as English so it's slightly less confusing for me. The difference is the French use diacritics." Clare shrugged. She didn't give up easily and at least she had been right about how to say sushi after all. She felt better by the time they went back inside. Clare smiled at Ash and Emi. "Emi did a good job. He's still down." She knew that wouldn't last much longer so she gladly escaped to the living room with Kota and Emi. Clare sat down on the couch. She bit her lip when Emi asked about purity rings. This was part of the reason why she felt like it was necessary to shut Bren up. Emi didn't need to hear about anything that pretained to sex. Of course she had questions now. Kota was lucky she only asked that one and didn't seem to care that he didn't give her a real answer. Clare winced soon as she heard the name Jenna. Maybe it was a different Jenna? No, soon as Kota got to the part about her trashy short shorts and her purposedly bending over (so everyone could see her buttcrack), Clare knew Dakota was referring to the her former friend. Who stole K.C from her using that exact tactic. He wasn't worth keeping and neither was Jenna's friendship. "I didn't know big mouth already told you all of that before we started hanging out." Clare said softly. "I guess she's still bragging about it. She's been trying to get with every guy since K.C got sick of her. Alli's brother, Sav, turned her down too. She's going to get the baby taken away from her because she won't stay home with him and there's no one else to watch him. I'd feel bad for Jenna but Owen threw my best friend Adam through a glass door for being transgender so...if that's who she wants to be with her baby deserves better." She squeezed Dakota's hand as he confessed to Kelly about his false reputation. Clare knew people might get the wrong idea when they found out she was dating Dakota especially if someone learned about their sleepover(s) but she didn't care. Anyone who mattered wouldn't believe a rumor over the truth. If Jesus Club did to her what they did to her sister, she didn't need to be part of it. However, she hoped they'd changed along with their name. Clare smiled back at him and chuckled because she'd always been able to take care of herself and now she could stand up for herself too. Well, by doing more than slapping boys and making a scene by yelling at them. The other girls at school needed to learn how too instead of relying on Kota to play superman. "I like you just the way you are even if you're reckless. There are some situations you can't get out of alone, she needed a friend." Clare reassurred him after Kelly left. "Just give them the card from now on. Kelly's right. Her dad could've killed you." She shuddered. Clare scooted closer to Dakota when Bren came in. "Do you even realize that was sexual harassment and if you keep doing it, someday a women will press charges against you and you'll go to jail." She said seriously. "You can't grope girls because you like the way we look, just like we can't do it to you. Or each other. Or a guy to another guy." She shook her head. Bren had Genesis all wrong. They were still living with the consequences of Adam and Eve's betrayal. The bible also said that outside of marriage sex was a sin. Even if you didn't believe that, there were other reasons to wait and she didn't plan to do something she'd regret. "Yeah! Let's go after breakfast before it gets too hot. Outside." She frowned. "The only problem is I don't have any exercise clothes here." Clare didn't want to wear her new outfit to the park. She supposed she could make do with what she'd worn over to Kota's in the first place.
Kota: nodded when Clare reassured him after Kelly left and kissed her cheek. "Thank you." he whispered and listened to her chide Bren. He knew that they've been there with him. "Yea, I know. That's why I ask to touch a girl's breasts. They taught me about sexual harassment in school and as long as I don't touch her without permission the most the girl will do is beat the crap out of me. So much easier in Bristol." Bren whined. "Yea, he's got a hard head. He went to Bristol and into a night club where he made a friend. She took a pill, made out with him for about ten minutes, then her boyfriend came and we got a call from the hospital. Bren had to get stitches and had a broken arm. We just sort of gave up after that." he explained to Clare. "The guy had a hard punch, once the girl realized he was beating me up, she called the cops, grabbed him and ran. I'm friends with her on facebook, she asked when I'm going back to Bristol." Bren explained to Clare. "And didn't her boyfriend threaten to kill you if you ever touched her a fourth time since you had to go find her after you go out of the hospital?" Kota asked looking at him. "Yea, but that's just a threat." Bren stated and Kota rolled his eyes. "I wish I could just beat the shit out of you right now, but it'll be futile. I only continued to help because I thought you were done with that girl and could actually change. She's fucking strung out on drugs. That night you were in the hospital she was too, an hour later she tried to kill herself because of the drugs she took. Does that really mean nothing to you, do you not see how much she's calling for help?" Kota asked. "So what she just needs to stop taking whatever drug made her want to die. If she were mine and came to me every night I'd be the happiest man alive regardless if she's strung out or not. They can help the suicide thing." Bren shrugged and Kota got up seeing the headphones still on Emi. "Bren, sex isn't worth your life nor is a girl. Who cares if she got strung out and made out with you, she's fuck-" "I don't care." Bren yelled back and Kota felt a hand on his shoulder to see his mom. "From the first time I held you, I knew you'd be trouble. You acted out more than any of your brothers and never wanted to stay. You were always trying to leave to go wherever, soon that changed and you started going after girls not caring about anyone, but you. I had these papers printed out and money put aside. They're emancipation papers, if you really want this I won't stop you anymore." She said holding his suitcase in hand and he took the papers. "I know you don't care what happens to you, but we do. I think you may need this, to go on your own for a bit and come home to us. Maybe this will help you be a better man." she said as she signed the papers after him and handed him his suitcase and passport. "There's money in there with an address book to friends I've made and keep in touch with in various countries." she said. "And I can be with Iona?" he asked curiously. "This was only an act to be with her?" Kota asked. "Well yea." Bren answered. "If that's what you want." His mom said and Bren took his things and left. "He never unpacked his things. I knew he didn't want to stay." his mom explained and he sat back down. "Maybe this will open his eyes." Kota breathed and laid his head on Clare's shoulder. After she mentioned going to the park after breakfast, he watched as Kelly bought out a plate of pancakes while Dallas carried the plates, Stacy carried sets of silverware wrapped in napkins and Ash and Dom carried sides. Without a word, Kota went to the kitchen and grabbed bottles of juice for everyone, then sat next to Clare and Emi. "Kelly, do you still have those yoga shorts that were too small?" he asked looking at her. "Yea." she answered. "I need them for Clare." He said honestly. "They're in the same place in my room. Also you're on wash duty later after Dallas does the basics. I have Victoria's Secret lingerie that needs to be washed and you're the only one who doesn't shrink them besides Stacy and she has to go home. I also have work." Kelly said and he nodded. "Ok, Stacy do you need your Victoria's Secret lingerie washed?" he asked looking at her. "Yea. Dallas will get them for you when you're ready to do the laundry. Dallas cut some of the tags off mine so that should help a bit. My bras and other items have tags." Stacy explained and he nodded as he ate. "Dom is helping me separate the Victoria's Secret from everything." Dallas stated. "Ash and I will do the dishes then." Stacy stated honestly. "Ok, that leaves Kota and Clare to the floors after dinner." Kelly said. "I wanna help." Emi stated. "We just pick up big items and leave the rest to the roomba." he informed Clare as he continued to eat. After breakfast was done, Kota went and got the shorts for Clare and one of his shirts too. "I'll go change in Dom's bathroom." he smiled at her as he handed her the clothing and kissed her chastely before going to change.
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