#heachan x reader

[shinenihs]

NOTICE ME

Pairing: Haechan x fem!reader

Genre: Slowburn, Angst, Haechan has a girlfriend.

Warnings: Contains smut, Sensitive language

Synopsis: Since Haechan has a girlfriend, you can’t just steal him from his girlfriend that easily. So you keep on doing things that interest him. In short, you’re obsessed with him.

You are in your senior year, which means you’re going to graduate soon. However, you have one last goal; Making Haechan Lee be your Boyfriend before the School Year ends. On the other hand, Haechan has a girlfriend. In fact she’s your academic rival. She has been your rival ever since Elementary school. Additionally, She has never won in any contest you both entered. It’s always you who gets the trophy home. Although, She has defeated you in some way. The boy you have been liking since you’re 11 years old is her boyfriend. Well I guess we could call that equal. Nevertheless, It will not stop you from doing your objective. 

You would often see how Haechan and his girlfriend flirt in school, Making you feel disgusted and jealous. Even though a lot of people admire you because of your beautiful face, great mind. There’s no way you will like any of them because they’re not Haechan. Besides, they're what you call “dumb” so you will think that they’re going to use you because you’re smart. Therefore everyday you would do absurd things such as; Insulting people when Haechan is around. He doesn’t really care what happens around him because he’s with his girlfriend all the time so the focus is on her. 

There are two weeks left before graduation and you have to think of a faster plan to steal Haechan from his girlfriend. Your friends are telling you that this is a bad idea and you shouldn’t do things just because you didn’t get what you wanted. Well this is you, you have everything but him. Until a rumor has been spreading all around the university, That Haechan is only with his girlfriend because the girl’s parents forced him to date their daughter because Haechan’s family is poor and working for the girl’s parents. Oh you do love gossip. So you went to the library to dig up information about the girl’s family. Turns out the girl’s family is crazy rich. Big ass mansion with 10 luxury cars. However their richness isn’t even close to yours. Your family is the biggest donor for your university, but they raised you to be Polite and shouldn’t look down on people just because of their social status. Well you’re nothing like what they raised you to be. Instead you became the smart rebellious girl everybody knows. Since you’re powerful you discovered that the rumor that has been going on is true. However, Haechan doesn’t look like he looks forced. He’s good at hiding, maybe because he’s in a drama club that you joined just to see him everyday. 

Going back to your plan, All of the things you planned didn’t work out. Including sabotaging the graduation ball that Haechan and his girlfriend won as Prom King and Queen. You have no other choice but to expose his girlfriend anonymously. You don’t want to ruin your reputation and waste the chance of being the Valedictorian so you’re going anonymous. 

After getting information about the girl’s family, you decided to go to class now. Once you entered the room. There it is, Haechan and his girlfriend making out infront of you. Also the girl is sitting on the table of Haechan’s seat. Little did they know… before everyone arrived you broke the armchair where Haechan’s usually sits and used glue to put it back again which will never stick that long. While they’re making out you notice his girlfriend keeps moving which means she’s uncomfortable because you can see that the table is cracking and will break eventually. 

*THUD*

Haechan’s girlfriend fell causing her to break her waist. You showed a little grin and saw that Haechan is scared because his girlfriend can’t stand up.

“Next time don’t make out in class” You said, causing everyone to look at you. Someone even mouthed “Thank you” because they’re making everyone uncomfortable.

Not long enough an ambulance came to take his girlfriend to the emergency room. Haechan didn’t go with her since the school is very strict nowadays and you have to complete your attendance before the graduation. It looks like someone won’t be able to graduate. 

Finally all classes have ended and you get to go home. You went up to your locker to leave things, While putting your books back, the door closed. seeing Haechan’s hand on your locker door.

“Oh hello Haechan, What can I do for you?” Giving him a sarcastic tone. 

“I know you’re behind all of this y/n” Hearing what he said, you became blank as space. How does he know that you’re behind all of these?

“I don't know what you’re talking about” You said while putting your books back again. But he closed your locker again.

“You may be smart but you’re not going to act dumb around me” Damn, He may be dumb at academics, but not when it comes to this. We’d really make a good couple.

“We’re done with this conversation” I said, locking my locker and leaving the university.

You quickly went inside the car and drove away, But this time you’re not headed home. You’re headed to your secret penthouse that your parents didn’t know.

When you arrived at your penthouse, you took a hot shower to calm your mind and finished all your requirements. You got busy and didn’t have time to cook dinner so you went ahead and ordered for delivery. While waiting for your food to arrive you suddenly got a message.

(My) Haechan sent you a message

 What does he want now? Yet you still checked what the said

“Call me right now” 

For one thing, you don't like being dominated. You’re always the dominating one. But you’ll be that submissive little brat for Haechan and will do what he says. So you called him

“I'm here outside your penthouse” He better not be kidding with you. Not even your friends know about your penthouse.

“No you’re not” 

“Aren’t you y/n y/sn who ordered these chicken tenders?”

“Fuck, yes that’s me just give me a minute” Screams are filling up the room as you panic every second.

10 minutes later you finally calmed down, and went to open the door.

“That was not a minute” He complained

“Come in” 

“You got a nice penthouse huh?” 

“Shut up, how did you know that I own this?” 

“Your penthouse is next to mine, the black one.” 

So that good ass looking penthouse was his!? I thought he’s poor?

“Aren’t you poor and your parents are working for your girlfriend's parents?” I asked without hesitation

“Yeah I am, but my Grandfather used to own that penthouse, my name is under his will” So he’s rich but his family is poor?

“If you’re not poor, why did you agree on that relationship thing?” 

“Hold on, How did you prove that the rumor is true?” 

“I'm good at this, now answer” 

“I'm doing this for my parents,  they owe my girlfriends parents a lot of money” 

“Why don’t you pay their debt?”

“They specifically said they don't need the money. Instead they wanted me to date their daughter” 

“But why are you working as a delivery man?”

“Oh I’m not, I just happened to see your food in front of the door. You probably didn't notice” 

“Well then, You can go now I need to be alone”

As soon as Haechan left, you went to your room with your food and ate while finishing the remaining tasks.

While doing your tasks you can’t help but fantasize about him. especially the interaction you just had. however fantasizing about him never distracts you. so you finished all in no time and went to bed.

A WEEK LATER

You found out that Haechan’s girlfriend will not be able to graduate because of the accident. That’s what happens to girls who can’t keep their hands off their boyfriend. You pretended to feel bad even though you’re the reason why she cannot graduate. Now that she’s not around, It’s the perfect time to steal her boyfriend 

You were about to go to class when someone suddenly pulled you to the storage room. 

“What the fuck” You were disgusted, wondering why would someone pull you here 

“I pulled you here so nobody could see us” Haechan replied. For what reason? his girlfriend is not even here.

“How is your girlfriend?” 

“We broke up” He said. You’re not surprised, you’ve been waiting for this. 

“Why? what happened?” You asked

“I don't love her, I never loved her. So I took the chance to break up with her” 

“And why are you telling me this?” 

“I know you like me y/n with those actions you’ve been doing just to get noticed by me” Looks like he does notice it

“Okay so what? what do you want me to do?”

“Im single now, And I also like you I just don’t have a plan to tell you” 

“Yeah it’s not convincing me much” 

“Maybe this will” 

After he said those words, he pulled you in for a kiss. Well who even are you to refuse, so you kissed him back. Making out with him feels like a dream, you were both thirsty for each other. For Haechan, Making out isn’t enough for him so he started touching you until it reached your short skirt. Revealing your wet panties.

“Already wet?” 

“I’m always wet for you, Haechan” 

He began touching your panties, making you whimper. You’ve never had sex before, therefore you’re sensitive. Looks like your new boyfriend doesn’t care. He loves hearing your sweet little sounds so he went in your panties, drawing circles on your clit. You’ve never felt so good before, You started to touch his pants feeling his crotch. Haechan unbuckled his pants with one hand. It turned you on, you helped him undress himself and when you took off his boxers his dick was hard. And very big.

“You looked surprised there” 

“I-i didn’t k-know you w-were this b-big Mmm- Ahh” Moans escaping your mouth as he plays with your pussy

“Suck it” 

You did what he said, you sucked his dick, bobbling your head as he moans out of lust 

That means you’re doing a great job. You jerked him off while he’s playing with your clit. Which makes you both moan together. Luckily the storage room was soundproof so nobody could hear what you were doing. 

“Im gonna cum”

“Cum, I'm gonna swallow it” 

“Oh fuck you always know how to turn me on” 

Loud noises filled the room, you both reached your climax and decided to not attend the classes for the day. Instead we went to my penthouse to spend the day. Who would’ve thought that the boy you’ve been liking since you were a kid is your boyfriend now? Graduating as Valedictorian with the love of your life. You’ve reached your last goal. Make Haechan Lee your boyfriend. 

TIME SKIP

Today is the day before your graduation. Everybody knows that you and Haechan are now officially together. Everybody expects it, people are telling you they know that you are going to end up together. Also, He introduced you to his parents. His parents are so welcoming, and caring. Now you know where Haechan got it from. Likewise, you also introduced him to your parents and they absolutely loved him. Not because he’s your first boyfriend, it’s because they know already that he will take care of you. But you know your father, Haechan and him talked separately because you know.

“Are you ready to graduate as Valedictorian, My love?” Your boyfriend asked you with a big smile on his face indicating that he’s happy for you.

“I was born ready, Now will you help me practice my speech?” 

“I’d be happy to” He said patting the seat beside him

This whole day was just you practicing your Valedictorian speech, giving thanks to all the people who have helped you to be this successful. After that Haechan took you shopping as a graduation gift. And you also gave him a graduation gift, Aside from sex you both went on a romantic date as your gift for him. 

GRADUATION DAY

You are now getting ready in line, your boyfriend is just behind you because you guys are walking in alphabetic order. Finally you heard your name and you went up on stage. Receiving a lot of medals. So many achievements, One of them is being Haechan’s Girlfriend. Looks like doing things that may look obsessed to other people's eyes works after all.

[lololololchips]

Lee Haechan || texts! sassy man apocalypse is real

genre: fake texts, fluff (?), idol!bf haechan

warnings: sassy man haechan, cursing, kms mentions

a/n: decided to just impulsively post this since i kept seeing tik toks abt sassy dudes😭😭 happy thanksgiving for those who celebrate it and enjoy this very random post!!

[winwinboo]

l.dh soulmate talk

“Do you think soulmates are real?” Haechan asks you suddenly, you’re both laying down on the floor of your college dorm, soft music plays from your speaker, it’s his playlist not yours.

“Yeah, I think so.” comes a reply “But not in that conventional fairy tale way”

“What do you mean?” your body is facing him now, his eyes watching you intently.

“I think that people are meant to meet at some point, but I don't believe that the universe somehow chose the person I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with.” you take a moment to think before continuing. “I believe that's on us, we feel so much love towards a person that we make it happen, the mindset, actions, and complimenting each other comes naturally because of the love we feel, we become soulmates through that love that was carefully built.”

It's silent after that, not awkward, it's never awkward with him. You go back to laying on your back, eyes closing for a little bit.

“So… you’re my soulmate then.” It's not a question, he’s stating it like it's the most certain thing on earth.

You inhale sharply, mind going blank and heart beating a tad bit faster at your best friend's words. “Yeah… I think we could be soulmates Hyuck.” You open your eyes softly and he’s still watching you, like he never stopped, like he never wants to stop.

little soulmate drabble i had on my phone, im a sucker for haechan

[yueisyum]

Don’t Think About It. (Part three)

Genre♥️college au/vacation au, enemies(not really) to fwb to lovers

Parings☎️haechan/donghuck x conflicted reader

Warnings🚨mentions of / alcohol consumption, and Use of nicknames, angsty!!!! Arguing? Sadness? Angst!!! Talking about love and the fear of love! (Philophobia)

Notes📌 This the part three, obviously. There is no smut, but there will be in part four. Yes, there will be a part four. This one is quite short, but that’s because I didn’t want to switch back to the college au in the middle of the same fic. So stay tuned for part four. And please don’t be shy, share your thoughts!

Ever since you were a kid, you made rules for yourself. Adding them as you grew older. And changing them as you experienced. Everyone has rules, wether they realize it or not.

Your rules were basic and simple. Crafted to perfection. And there were also some you didn’t even realize existed:

1. Boys have cooties(except for Johnny) << especially johnny

2. No falling behind <<< (school)

3. Date to marry experience <<< (boys)

4. Don’t be venerable <<< (liars)

5. Privacy is power

6. Stop being so understanding

7. Don’t allow others to love you (no “I love you”’s)

8. Don’t fall on love too quickly

Rule seven had a couple different reasons. Reasons that we don’t need to get into right now. But everyone who has ever “loved” you, didn’t seem to love you enough to stay; ripping pieces each time one of them left. So, you refuse to allow others to feel for you. Not truly. Always subconsciously inviting people into your life, people you know couldn’t hurt you.

But naturally, rules are meant to be broken.

Falling behind in school around the holidays.

Trusting too easily.

Being too understanding/to forgiving.

And allowing others to say those words to you. “I love you”. And you would continuously, stupidly believe them. nothing had changed. Your were always the stupid one, the girl who never understood who she was to people.

But you had rules, rules you tried your best to follow… until haechan.

•••

Muffled Music blared your ears, drawing you from your sleep. It was still dark out, but Haechan was still next to you. You were tired, but relived to feel his presence.

“What time is it?” you ask, Not bothering to check if he was awake.

“Don’t know” he responded, his voice far from tried or drowsy. You drew back to look at him, his body facing you. Haechans eyes find yours as soon as they come into view.

“Have you been awake?” You ask, your brows pinch together, He tried to act as if he had also just woken up. “Huh? No?”

You slightly sit up on the bed. “You totally were- you were watching me sleep!” You announce with a grin on your face.

“No, that would be creepy, and boring. On the other hand, watching you shower-“ you punch him and settle back down into the bed with a soft laugh. He winces but joins you in your laughter nonetheless.

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” heachan began, turning over to sit up straight. “…And believe me, I am” looking down at you with a stupid smirk. He continued “I’m afraid you have to go”

You paused for a moment.

Oh

Oh

Was all of this really just sex? You can’t believe that you let your mind slip- to forget that this isn’t real, for this long at that.

It’s just two friends helping each other out.

You reminded yourself.

Haechan pouted when he saw the look on your face, afraid you got the wrong idea. “Jenos been blowing up your phone. He’s wondering why you’re not joining the party, or why he can’t find you” He informs, hoping to ease the thoughts he knows have filled your mind. Your phone was in his hands, and you grabbed it. Looking through the notifications, you curse yourself- or Jeno actually.

Oh- Damn you jeno! What could he possibly need right now?

You sigh dramatically into your palms.

“I know” he said, his smile growing wider. “I wouldn’t want to leave me either”

You rolled your eyes and scouted from underneath the covers and his side. “Now you’ve ruined it.”

“Just as I intended” he chuckled, leaning back against the headboard, watching you make your way to the door.

It physically pained you to leave him. But you won’t acknowledge it more then that.

“Y/n?”

“Hyuck?”

“You can keep my shirt, it looks sexier on you”

“Ass” You replied, and grin plastered on your face, against your will. Then you opened the door and left with your phone in hand, making your way down the hallway.

The music slowly picking up in volume as you made your way into the kitchen/living room area. Though you saw almost no one. Until you peaked out the sliding doors to the backyard. Finally finding the sources of the music, along with at least 20 other people. Some people in the pool, some people grilling or just playing games. You smiled to yourself, you can feel that everyone was having a good time.

You decide you should change before joining them. As you make your way to your own room.

You think for a moment, you should probably check your phone.

JenO

______________________________________

|| JenO -

Hey, we are back from the store

Delivered

-

Where you at?

Delivered

-

y/n?

Delivered

-

Chaewon said she saw you with haechan, are you two talking?

Delivered

-

y/n it’s been 2 hours, are you ok?

Delivered

______________________________________

Damn it.

You enter your room, beginning to type all kinds of apologizes into your phone, when you look up to see Jeno sitting in your bed. “Jeno?”

He looks up from his phone to see you standing in the doorway… in heachans shirt…

“Looks like you two did more then just talk huh?” He was smiling, but he sounded agitated. And you can’t blame him.

“Sorry, I feel asleep”

“In his room?”

“Yeah…? Is that bad?” You finally enter the room to join him on your bed. He clears his throat while making room for you to sit next to him. “No, I mean- I don’t know” He answers, not looking at you. “I talked to Shihyun” he informs. You whip your head to look at him. His eyes still don’t meet yours. “She wants to try again” Jeno’s hands are fidgeting with his phone case. Waiting for your reaction.

“That’s great! Why aren’t you out there with her? I saw her in the pool.”

“Was looking for you”

“Why”

He finally turns to you. “Um, just wanted you to know that… that I’ve moved on”

“What!? From Shihyun? Wha- didn’t you just say-“

“-no not her, I love her” he interrupted quickly correcting your thoughts. You look at him confused. It sorta felt weird to hear him say those words. You didn’t like those words, but for some reason… hearing him share his heart to you about Shihyun made you feel as sense of adoration towards him. “Then what have you moved on from?”

“I-um… just- It doesn’t matter, just felt like I needed to say it out loud to you, it’s been suffocating me… but I’m happy that I found Shihyun, she really makes me really happy”

You can’t help but smile. Who needed kdramas when you have this? “And I also wanted to say that… uh… you mean a lot to me y/n, you are such an amazing friend, so encouraging and un-judgmental. I really appreciate you. Even if I mistook those feelings before.. I understand them now.”

You think for a moment, trying to make sense of his words. “What the heck are you going in about Jeno? Your not making any sense.” You laugh and stand up to begin looking for clothes. “I’m sorry, don’t worry about it. It doesn’t need to make sense to you, I just need to say it.”

“It’s Okay, don’t apologizes, I understand. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to tell me” you smile while picking out an outfit to join the others in. Jeno watches you concentrate.

“I love you”

it was almost a whisper, you didn’t even hear it. He didn’t want you to. He knows how you feel about those three words. But he needed to say it. Out loud.

He really does love you, but not romantically- like he thought he did. But As a friend. As a person he was never scared to go to for help or advice. He loved you, and he would never leave you.

He smiles thinking about how lucky he is to have a friend like you.

“Okay I’ll go join the others.. meet us out there when your done changing.” He ends his rant with a pat to your head, making his way to the door. You nod and begin to change.

…

When you made you way outside, you find yuta and Yejun laughing at a joke Jisung must have made. Because he looked super proud of himself. His posture straightened, and he is puffing his chest out. Adorable.

Other groups of people, that your sure you’ve seen before, fill up the back patio.

Music and conversations fill your ears as you make your way towards the three. “Hey! Y/n! Nice of you to finally join us!” Yejun greets you with a smile and Jisung runs to hug you. “I feel like it’s been ages!”

“It’s been a couple hours ji” but you reciprocate nonetheless. “Jeno was looking for you” yuta informs with a small head nod. “Yeah I talked to him” you shrug and turn around to face the noise. Towards the People talking, and Shihyun and Chaewon are messing around in the pool. Isn’t it freezing?

“Y/n!”

You turn to your right to see Johnny running over. You try not to laugh when you realize he looks like a typical college jock. His hair is wet? Or maybe sweaty? There’s a drink in his hand and his jog looks ridiculous. Then you compare it to a dog, who’s just got done playing with the hose and you snicker even more. “What’s up?” You give Johnny a half hug and he takes another drink form his cup. Yejun and jisung continue whatever conversation they were having before you showed up. When you look back to Johnny, his face was slightly red and he couldn’t stand straight for the life of him.

He’s definitely drunk.

“Where’s haechan?” He asks, his voice is an octave louder so you can hear him over the music.

You don’t know why the the mention of his name threw you off. You felt odd. “How would I know?” You respond with a shrug. Johnny gives you the most unamused look you’ve ever seen. “Don’t give me that bullshit, you can’t tell me you two weren’t together this whole time” you slap at Johnny’s shoulder and glare at Him. “You talk really loud”

Johnny let’s out a laugh and hands you his drink. “Here hold this, he’s probably in his room, I’ll go get him.” Before you can even respond, Johnny’s running off, towards the sliding doors leading back inside the lodge.

You just stand there and look around once more. Haechan probably wants to sleep, you should’ve told Johnny that, but he’ll find out on his own.

When you spot Jeno and Shihyun in the pool, you can’t help but smile. She’s sitting on top of his shoulders, playing a game of chicken with another couple. Your smile grows when Shihyun wins and yells in victory. Cute!

•••

The rest of the night consisted of you drinking and talking with Chaewon and Yami. Chaewon was going on a rant about how people who ‘don’t like alcohol’ are ‘pussies’ or whatever. You laugh all throughout her tangent because the only person who came to mind was Jaemin. “Y/n, do you want to come with me to get more drinks?” Chaewon asks with a pout, her face was round but so perfectly defined, and her outfit looked absolutely amazing on her. You smile to her direction and nod. She always amazes you, her beauty, her amazing personality, she had no flaws. You admire her. “Where are they?” You ask.

“They are over by- Haechan! over there!!” Chaewon pointed towards the coolers that were stationed next to the grill. Jaemin, haechan and mark were all over there. When you saw him, you couldn’t look away.

You didn’t really think he would be joining the party, but there he was. He was wearing a black t-shirt and loose sweatpants. For a moment you felt hurt. Why wouldn’t he come to you? Does he not want to talk to you? Or spend time with you. Even after you two had sex? Is he avoiding you now? Is it’s awkward?

Then you had to mentally stop yourself:

This cannot be Happening.

You should not care about what he’s doing.

You shouldn’t care about what he’s wearing.

You shouldn’t be upset that he didn’t choose to find you first.

You should not care about Lee Donghyuck…

Then your faces with his eyes in yours. A flash of cold rushed throughout your body. You whip your head back to Chaewon so fast, your vision almost went blurry. Curse the gods, Haechan just caught you looking at him. It took almost all your strength not to drown yourself in the pool in-front of you. “Okay let’s go” Chaewon didn’t seem to notice the small interaction, maybe it’s all in your head. But that moment felt like it lasted forever. She hops up from the small pool chair and held her hand out to you.

“Actually, I don’t think I should get up-“

“-Why?”

Her eyebrows cutely pinch together and her smile drops to a frown. “Yami should go with you, my head really hurts” you squeeze your eyes shut and bring a hand to your head, as if in pain. “What? Girl- let’s gooo” she grabs at your hand and drags you to your feet. “Yami, you too, let’s go” then Chaewon pulls you along as she makes her way around the pool.

As your walking up to the group of boys, you notice Haechan’s eyes following your figure. God this is embarrassing. He has this stupid knowing look on his face, and you almost jumped in the pool. Instead you look at the water and the people in it, refusing to look up, or take any chances of making eye contact with him again. You don’t want things to be awkward, you just want to act normal.

WHY CANT YOU ACT NORMAL!?

“Haechan, where have you been all night?” Chaewon presses as she opens the cooler and grabs some cans of beer. “In my room” he starts, his eyes flicker to you, giving you a smile then back to Chaewon “you look nice” he smiles at her and she beamed in response. “Thank you” her dramatic giggle makes the group laugh in unison.

Woah. At least he smiled at you. He’s definitely trying his hardest to act normal. But you can tell he doesn’t know what to do either. You cough awkwardly, you didn’t mean too. Your trying your hardest to not draw attention to yourself, but that’s all haechan is giving you… attention.

“Are we planning on partying all night it’s almost 4 in the morning” mark begins.

You shouldn’t have been upset that he called Chaewon pretty, or griping at your arms, and holding yourself like this, or burning up this easily. You wished he would’ve said those words to you. The only thoughts that can fill your mind now are him. He isn’t looking at you anymore, his gaze is now fixed on Chaewons and Yami, you sigh in relie, but at the same time, you feel overwhelmed with emotions. Maybe he thought you wanted space? That wouldn’t be a reach, but he’s wrong, if that’s the case.

“We don’t have any other plans! I could go for 12 more hours!” Yami replies, and once again the group laughs.

So wrong.

“I’ll probably head inside soon” heachan informs with a sip of his drink.

“What you just got out here!?” Chaewon complains with a pout. The conversation continued on, and you stopped keeping track of it. Lost in your own mind once again.

Maybe he is satisfied, that’s what he wanted right? You helped him out, and he’s satisfied. But your not, you want more then that. More then sex. And you’re not pushing it down this time, your allowing yourself to feel it, maybe it’s the alcohol? Or the cold that made you feel alone, more then usual.

“Y/n?” You blink to he direction of your name. to Johnny. “Yes?” You drop your arms to the side in order to seem natural, ignoring the air that creeped up your skin, causing goosebumps.

It’s freezing.

“Aren’t you going to go with them?” Mark asks, as he gestures his hand behind you.

“Who?”

“Chaewon and Yami? They left already? …Are you drunk?” He questioned, scanning your face. You glance over at mark and Haechan, then behind you. Chaewon and Yami have made their way halfway around the pool now.

When did that happen?

Haechan eyes you suspiciously, almost asking you ‘what’s wrong?’. You send him a reassuring smile. That didn’t seem as awkward as before, and you felt relieved. “Yeah I think I am, I should probably go lay down” you blink twice more, preparing yourself to walk, and turn on your heal, heading straight for the sliding doors that lead back inside.

Is it bad that you wanted to be alone with him again? Jeno had already talked to you, there’s no longer a reason to be out here. can’t you two go back into his room? In His bed? Is that weird? Would that be weird?

When you make your way back inside, you plop down in the couch and take a couple deep breaths. Did he not think YOU looked nice?! Why didn’t he compliment YOU? I mean of course Chaewon looked perfect but-

Nonononono Nono quit it. Stop!

you feel so unbelievably confused. Every feeling is so unexplainable. Jealous? Annoyed, hurt? Alone? Tired? Drunk? Flustered? It’s all too much!

Just two friends helping each other out.

Just two friends helping each other out.

Just two friends helping each other out.

“Y/n?”

“What?!” You respond frustrated, you didn’t realize how upset you felt until your tone left your mouth. You lift your head to the person in front of you to apologize. Haechan stood there, with a cup in his hand and a surprised look on his face. You hesitate for a moment. Looking away, to spare yourself some dignity.

“Sorry, I was just-“

“-Thinking?”

“Yeah”

“You do that too much” he smiles and sits next to you. When he did, you felt your heart calm, your skin and muscles relax. And your brain stoped running so fast. It felt as if you just took some kind of drug. Intoxicating your senses.

“How much did you drink?” Haechan’s head is facing yours on the couch, you turn to him and realize the distance between you two is non existent. “Two” you mumble, distracted by this familiar position.

“Two? Two what?” Haechan chuckles at your absent mindedness. “Two… somethings, I don’t remember” you shake your head and turn back to look at the blank tv. “Hm interesting. Do you want some water? There’s some in the fridge-“

“- Nono, no water” your head shakes faster at the thought of his presence leaving you. “Okay” he chuckles again. Your lost, you don’t know what to say, or what to do. Your just… lost. You’ve never felt this feeling, it’s foreign. And it terrifies you. Your scared that you have no control over your words or actions anymore.

His body, his heat, his comfort, and safety saturated you. He fed the parts of you that are needy and starved. He grounded you and you wanted more. Then you realized that its Haechan that made you feel less alone.

And as selfish as it was, you hoped you wouldn’t be alone ever again.

“Hey…”

This is all too much…

…To much, all at once…

“…Y/n”

He smells like.. like him. And he’s so warm, almost like he’s been living on the sun for the past couple of months.

Haechan:

Full sun

Makes sense.

“Y/n” he calls once more, this time turning to you, probably checking to see if your are still alive or breathing.

“Yes?” You finally respond and look to him. “Your cutting off my circulation” he smiles and you look down at his arm. Your hands wrap around his bicep, gripping onto him like you’ll fly away if you let go. “Sorry”

When did that happen?

“It’s okay, just relax”

“I’m relaxed” you lighten your grip and rest your head on his shoulder. “Did you catch feelings yet?” He teased with smirk, you laugh lightly, your eyes remaining on the blank tv, as if there’s something playing.

Yes you did.

“You wish”

And yes he does.

“Did you?” You ask looking up at him. His gaze remains on the blank screen.

“Not a chance” he answers with a smile.

“Good” you nod and blink away thoughts that you wish would quit reappearing at the worst times. “Do you regret it?” Haechan asked, this time his voice is almost at a whisper. Haechan is a person who needs a lot of reassurance. And your not very good at that kind of thing… but you’ll try for his sake.

“No” he nods at your response this time, remaining quite as you make yourself comfortable- practically cuddling him.

You then slouch further into the sofa, into him. You can hear his breaths, they’re calm and paced. You try your hardest to match his, almost dying in the process. When you start panting, Haechan begins laughing. And you join him. That was ridiculous.

“Y/n? Do you remember my last birthday?”

“The one when we all went to that terrible restaurant? And Jisung threw up?”

“Yeah, but after that, when we ended up getting take out, at your place?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“When I joined you on your balcony, did you mean what you said?” Oh no. No no no no. Gosh this can’t be happening, everything was going so well.

“What do you mean?” You front, your body stiffens and your eyes shut to prepare for impact.

“The words you said, did you mean them?”

Yes… yes you did. But you can’t tell him that. He can’t know that. “I don’t remember any of that” you shake your head, trying your best to end the conversation.

“You don’t?” You feel his head turn to look down at you. You try your best to act as nonchalant as possible.

“No? Maybe your confused with someone else”

“Impossible”

You bite at your lip and curl your fingers into a fist to ground yourself.

“You told me that you only befriend people you knew couldn’t give you what you needed. Because.. you didn’t want to feel like you’ve lost something- you know if they ever left-”

“I did?” Yes you did…

“Yes. Then I asked if you didn’t think I was capable of giving you what you needed…”

“You did?”

“Yes. And you told me that you never actually choose me…”

“Hm-“

“-what did you mean by that?”

You meant that: heachan was capable of giving you everything you’ve ever wanted or needed, and that terrified you, so you would never have chosen him. He just entered your life, and there was nothing you could do about it but pray he would never leave. But alas, that’s not something y/n would ever admit. So you won’t.

“I’m- I don’t know. I don’t remember that”

“You weren’t drunk… you never explained what you meant and we- we kissed. do you remember-”

Yes.. god yes. You remember it like it happened just now. You remember thinking about how you would never bring it up. About how you would have to learn to forget about it. But of course Haechan won’t allow you to. He did, for a while, you assume he’s probably tired of you acting as if these moments never happened.

“-No, no. No we didn’t” you begin to shake your head again, your body moves to sit up and away from him. Your panicking.

“We did-“ haechan follows you, sitting up to look at you in the eyes. “-no we didn’t, you must have me mixed up with someone else-“

His eyebrows furrow together, you can almost taste the frustration building in his head. “I wouldn’t mix you up with anyone… who else could it have been-“

“Chaewon-“

“No, it was you. I would never kiss Chaewon” he shakes his head this time, his eye close to ensure his seriousness.

“But you called her pretty”

“That doesn’t mean I would ever kiss her-“

“-But you would kiss me?” You challenge, with a scoff. You turn your body to face him in the couch. Both of you are obviously heated and neither of you are willing to be completely honest with yourself a or each other. He doesn’t answer… because yes he would, but are you ready to hear those words… no.

“Exactly-“

“Why are you refusing to accept it?”

“I’m not-“

“You are” his gaze on you becomes more angry then upset or frustrated. You look at him for a moment longer before ripping your eyes away from his piercing ones. “I just don’t remember that” you cross your arms over your chest and try your hardest to look at verything in the empty living room but him.

“No, your choosing not to…forget it, that’s not what’s important Right now. I just want to know what you meant by that… that I’m incapable of-“ he begins, but you refuse to hear him say those words, so you give in… sorta.

“-I didn’t- I just… I don’t know, I wouldn’t have chosen you, if that’s what you’re asking”

“Because?” Haechans eyes flicker between yours, hoping your gaze will answer the questions you’re refusing to.

“Because… just because” you tried to think of a response for a moment, but the only one that came to mind was the one you didn’t want him to hear. When he continues to glare at you, you give in once more. Turning to him and letting out a sigh you explain yourself to the best of your ability: “Because your a good person, and I knew that if you left me… I would lose something”

“Something? What do you mean by something?” His face changes in almost an instant. Like you’ve said before, Haechan is someone who needs a lot of reassurance, and your not very good at explaining your feelings.

“This is stupid” you turn away from him once again, and he absolutely hates it.

“What would you have lost.. if I ever left you?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Why won’t you answer me?”

“It doesn’t matter, I don’t need you using it against me.”

“Against you? What does that mean!?” If you were actually looking at him, you would’ve seen how hurt he looked at those words.

“Just stop”

“Stop what? Being confused? Because that’s kinda your fault” he tries to laugh but he can’t.

“I don’t want to have this conversation anymore”

“Why do you keep treating me like I’m your enemy? I wouldn’t use anything ‘against’ you, or leave you.. ever” he tries to look at you in the eyes, but you refuse.

“Okay”

“Okay? That’s it?” Now he’s mad.

“Stop dragging this on haechan” you drop your hands from around you and glare at him.

“Haechan? Y/n what the hell?” He didn’t mean to yell, but he was upset, angry, sad, offended? All of them! You can’t do this anyMore, your not ready to have this conversation. It all escalated so quickly, you didn’t have time to think properly.

“I’m going to bed” you bring yourself to your feet and grab your phone to leave. You know haechan won’t force you to stay, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to convince you to.

“Y/n.. y/n wait let’s finish this conversation, please.” He look up at you and watches you walk around the other couch and towards the hallway. Your upset, you know you shouldn’t have let yourself get this heated, and you know you shouldn’t have let that conversation go the way it did.

“I’m drunk and tired is this isn’t the best time to be talking to me”

“That isn’t fair, y/n..”

When you made it to your bedroom you sit on one of the beds, bringing your knees to your chest and stared into space.

You feel like such an idiot.

But it can no longer be avoided, the longer you spend with haechan, the more you realize you can’t live without him.

How could you have let yourself get this far with him!?

You had rules.

But then again, rules are made to be broken.

Taglist:

@nctzennikki09 @mings-cafe @gaeulswrld @chimiwimi @aliceinwhateverland

In all honesty, I’ve done better, however, the Juicy parts are in part four… so🤷‍♀️ yeah! Please let me know if you have any:

Questions

Request

Opinions

Spell check errors

Taglist requests?

[starillusion13]

Poisoned Love

Pairing: bff! Renjun x f!reader x bff! Haechan

W.C: 10.5k

Genre: Yandere, Friends to lovers, SMUT

Warnings: Pervert! Hyuckren, Dom! Haechan, Dom! Renjun, manhandling, toxic ex, possessive, restraining acts, obsession, anonymous messages, calls, texts, gifts, threats, crying, scared, privacy invasion, gaslighting(?), pwp (don't do it sillies), oral(f. Rec.), fingering, nipply play, cum as lube, praising, sucking, biting, double-penetration, lots of kissing, anal sex, finger sucking, multiple sex scene, forgot to add anything? maybe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE @renjunnnaaa

Network: @kvanity-main

MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE POST 🔞

"I told you not to put those choco chips now. Those were supposed to be the last step." The older boy grumbled and placed the bottles on the countertop, before glaring at the younger one who started laughing all of a sudden.

"you think I have put those in the mixture?" the younger one smirked and took away a bottle from the row. The other one cursed him in his head for disturbing him at every step.

The younger leaned against the counter and pulled out his phone with a smile. He seemed too excited about what he was about to do. The older one hit his bicep and glared, "then where is it?"

"in my tummy." He said but didn't glance at the furious boy who was about to kill him with the knife beside him.

He stared at him in disbelief, "seriously?" The younger one nodded and smiled at the small screen in his hand and this made the boy beside him to snatch away his phone and was about to throw it away when they heard their house bell ringing.

It was not like usual but someone was desperately pressing the switch as if they got attacked by someone or being chased by a mad dog. Haechan, who was near the kitchen door, quickly stepped towards the grand living room and then walked towards the door. He didn't hesitate to waste any time to open the door because if the person outside was a possible threat, then the guard must have informed him about it but without any commotion from anyone, he opened the door.

Two arms wrapped around him and someone's face was pressed against his chest. The familiar touch and the soft voice calling out his name, "Haechan...." was enough to make him realize the person who was hugging him. He raised a hand and stroked her hairs while the other hand pulled her inside the door, before locking it behind him.

Renjun was standing in a distance from both of them and when he noticed the figure in his hold, his eyes went wide and quickly stepped forward, "what happened?" he patted her back and caressed her to calm her down because she was too scared of something and clutching the younger male's shirt tightly in her hold.

"y/n...tell me what happened?" Haechan whispered the words, not wanting to raise his voice higher than that volume. You didn't pull apart when he tried to look at your face so he guided you to the sofa and made you sit with him. Renjun stood in front of you with folded hands. When he noticed a maid passing by the stairs, he called her and asked her to prepare the cake from where they had left. She obligingly nodded and went towards the kitchen and his attention was again brought back to you when you spoke up.

Pulling yourself away from Haechan, you took deep breaths and bit your lip. He brushed your hairs back and pulled your face up by your chin and noticed your tear strained cheek and red eyes with red plump lips because of your habit of biting lips in nervousness, "tell me, y/n. Is it the same reason?"

He knew. Both of them knew. Renjun scoffed as soon as you nodded. The way you were scared and nervous, they were more furious. It's getting too much. They can't let you live like this with the same thing repeating without any trace of stop from the other end of causing this mishap.

"Heachan, we need to stop this. She has already been through so much and now..." the younger one nodded at his words and smiled at you while patting your head, "how about you freshen up? You look like a mess. You already have so many things, even a room for yourself so go upstairs. We will be there soon."

Renjun extended his palm for you to grab and you did it. Looking at his face, he was smiling all the way when you stood up and turned towards Haechan and exchanged soft smiling goodbyes, just to leave for your supposed room. Renjun was holding your hand as if you were the fragile doll, well to him you were, his precious angel. He always reminds you that even if your status doesn't match with his and Haechan, you will always be their bestfriend, his angel.

Leaving you inside the room, he jogged to where Haechan was.

Looking around the room, you felt like you were at home. Well, you feel safer here than being at your apartment all alone. They have asked you to move in with them so many times but your common phrase that you don't want to be a burden to them makes them irritated. Well, not really. They appreciate your choices and decisions but not when you are living out there scared of the shit going on in your life recently.

Taking the necessary things from the drawer for a shower and then when you opened the closet, you were surprised. There were a lot of dresses, each of them being your favorites but there were only a few last time. It must be because they bought all of these because of your nearing birthday. You shook your head, chuckled and stepped inside the bathroom.

Meanwhile, the two boys were preparing everything to take along with them to your room. For the dinner, they opt to have it with you in your room and their maids arrange it in the way to their liking.

Renjun didn't allow anyone to enter your room so he took the trays and entered the door. Haechan was carrying other necessary stuff like extra pillows and water bottles.

"Hey! Are you fine?" He greeted you with a warm hug after putting all the stuff on the couch. Renjun placed the tray on the center table and turned towards you two. "So, what should we do now? What about movies?"

You pulled apart from the hug to reply to the standing male beside the table, "um...I don't want to bother you two if you have something to do but......thanks for letting me come here."

"y/n, we have said this before. You are our best-friend and it's natural for you to come here. Even we asked you to stay here to move in but you are the one not listening to us." Renjun stepped towards you before saying those words and cupped your face to plant a kiss on your forehead. "Come on. Hop on the bed."

"Let's have our time, forgetting all those negativities. Just let it be how you are feeling with us." Haechan said and brought a spoonful of cake to your lips.

"I can eat." You chuckled but he shook his head and urged you to open your mouth, "no, tell me how is the cake? I made it for you."

"you knew I was coming?" you were surprised.

Renjun shook his head, "No. we would have sent you the cake as a surprise and I made the batter for the whole process and he had just put it in the microwave without choco chips."

Haechan glared at him when he continued spilling what the younger one was doing since evening. Your laughter filled the room with their giggles while moving from one topic to another.

For a moment, you forgot what was the reason you came knocking at their door.

Their actions were too sweet. Always, they treat you tenderly. As if you are a porcelain doll to them, making you feel like one of the sophisticated items from their household. Skinship is very normal between you three, not in a weird way but hugging, cuddling with each other or kissing the other one for reassurance regarding a thing is common. Mainly, you are the one who receives kisses from both of them a lot. You are the one who kisses when you are joking with them a lot and also, they are missing your funny side when you are so quiet today.

Scooting towards the bed frame, you sit in between them and notice the double toned hair boy to place the tray in front of you. Haechan pulled you to his side when he noticed you zoning out and rubbed your arms, "do you want to talk about it?"

You blinked and turned towards him, "why is he doing this?"

He hummed and nodded to himself, "knew he was crazy for you. You thought of him as the perfect boyfriend but look when you found out his real intention, he is pulling off this shit." He hugged you and kissed the side of your head, "but it's okay. We are here to keep you safe."

"I know. You are here, both of you but what if he does something more? What if he tries to harm both of you." You clutched his wrist which was around your collarbone.

Renjun sat in his place beside you and smiled while patting your legs, "he won't. you know, no one can do anything to us, so stop thinking about that shithead and let's enjoy our time."

Yeah. Why are you still thinking about him? it's just going to make you feel more stressed and then scared to be alone. Well, should you say something that's been bugging your mind since afternoon. You wanted to say this for the last few days but your hesitation and what if... you don't know what to think more but you just want to stay closer to someone who feels like family.

"I want to move in with you here."

>>>><<<<

You once had a family, a nice one but the sudden storm in your life snatched everything from you. Your teenage life and your happiness, everything was gone but these two met you at the park in the colony changed your life. Of course, it was nowhere near your mediocre environment but that day after having your part time job, you were strolling around the streets when you stumbled to the grand exposure to the park with a huge garden. The place belongs to all the luxurious apartments and their wealthy owners.

You were just crying to yourself when a boy extended a handkerchief towards you. "Haechan." That was the only introduction he had with you. When you hesitated and tried to stand up and look away, the one named Renjun pushed you down lightly and held your hands, "hey...what happened?"

Their soothing voices, warm lingering touches and soft smiles made you let your heart out to them. Since that day, you somehow bumped into each other a lot. Them arriving at your café, or pulling up in front of the university in a luxury car. Everything was surprising to you. You didn't want so much attention on you or never wanted to live like a wealthy person but you wanted to stay with people who will be close to you.

Honestly, the apartment where you stay is the one these two helped you to buy so that you don't have to stay in that previous old and rusted area. You were so happy that, with an affordable rent and two friends supporting you was enough to motivate you to move forward. They were literally a blessing in your life and your gloomy days were soon turning into the bright ones.

Not long enough after having those happy days with your two new best friends, comes your school crush, rather your childhood best friend, Wooyoung. The way your eyes went wide when you noticed him standing at your university gate with Bouquet of red roses and him dressed up in a black leather fit. You instantly ran up to him and hugged around his neck whispering, "I missed you, woo."

"I missed you too, baby."

And then you shared your whole life story with each other at a restaurant where he invited you for his success. He finally got his father's business position and now moving to this new city, he got to know about you from a common friend.

The daily meetups and the reunion of the friendship blooms into a new stage of bonding. The kindle of love. He was the first one to approach you with the proposal and to both of your surprises, you accepted it quickly. Why not? He was always the one to care for you, to be there for you and now, to love you. You are more than blessed to have three of them with you in your life.

But, as we know, the happy days don't last long enough. It's been six months you were dating Wooyoung, and once, Renjun suddenly told you that your boyfriend seems a bit unusual to him. you let him be assured that you know your boyfriend for too long and he can't be bad. He just nodded and smiled at you.

It was early in the morning that you woke up, all smiles and in a terribly good mood. You didn't have your university classes to attain so it was not a big deal to spend your day as a lazy one. You were in the middle of making yourself lunch when the doorbell rang. You quickly rinsed your hands and wiped them on your apron before going to open the door.

There was no one but when you were about to close it, there was a gift box and a rose Bouquet with a letter attached to it. You were hesitating to pick it up and noticed your name written on the red card with a silver glittery ink. Closing the door behind you, you placed yourself on the sofa with the gifts.

'Dear y/n,

You seem so happy and lively every day. Is it because of me? I think so. Well, I am sure it must be the reason. Who else is going to keep you happy like me?

Let's not talk about this surprise when we meet. I want to see you blushing while remembering my gifts. You can do this for me, right?

I love you so much.

From unknown (your love)'

"Unknown? Wooyoung is really weird sometimes and I love you too." You kissed the letter before sliding it on the table top and inhaled the sweet smell which was already spreading across your room from the flowers in your hold. Deciding a nice place for them, you picked it up and put it in the vase. The gift box had a ring inside it with one more letter telling you how perfect and beautiful you would look with it.

As he told you, you kept it a secret from him. Every day, you received many gifts from him and never for once, you raised the topic about the gifts.

. .

One day when you were holding hands and returning to your apartment, you suddenly blurted out, "Thank you, Woo."

he was surprised, "for what?"

oh, you almost mentioned the gifts, "for...for everything, Woo. Thank you."

He turned you around to face him and kissed your lips, "Thanks to you too for accepting my love."

Who knew after that day, your life was about to change.

He texted you the next day that he was going for some business programs with his dad to a different country and he won't be able to meet you for how long he doesn't know and even though you were sad, you texted him back with enthusiasm and being a supportive girlfriend, you appreciated his work.

It was afternoon and you knew the timing, his gifts. But he was not there, then?

You opened the door, greeting with a teddy bear and chocolates.

'Sorry, y/n. I know you are missing me but for the compensation. Here, a gift for you.'

You smiled while happily taking the teddy bear to your room.

But later in the day, you got more letters and more flowers and these ones were not the usual ones like other days. Now, everyday your excitement for the gifts were turning into a nightmare. It was about pure obsession.

The letters were all about questions related to why you were wearing the dress to the restaurant, why you are not going to the university or why you are still in your bed and not eating properly. How the hell does he know about this? You were scared and the closest person to share this was your two best friends.

"Are you sure, that's him?" Renjun asked you the question for the third time and exchanged looks with Haechan who was equally stressed like you. They were so annoyed with the fact that someone or rather your boyfriend was invading your privacy. Even when you were throwing away some letters without reading, he dared to threaten you. He even sent pictures of you doing your chores in your apartment.

"Who else would do that? It's clear that he is the one who knows everything about me. He is my boyfriend and it clearly mentions that whatever the person is telling or doing is for the lover. In some he even mentioned himself as my boyfriend and who else will know that he is out of town?"

Haechan patted your back, "it's okay, y/n. calm down for me. we will find a solution to it. We won't allow him to do anything anymore."

"I'm scared...what if he tries to do something more."

"You should break up." You looked up quickly towards Renjun hearing his words. He was staring at you as if he expected your sudden gaze on him. He raised a brow at you and you felt defeated when you didn't know what to reply to him. you should break up then what else is holding you back.

Well, the idea of breaking up was the only option that seemed right when after a few days, you got a call from Wooyoung, "y/n! have you received my gift?"

Gift. The word was so endearing and loving from his mouth but to you it was a curse. You nodded as if he could see you, well all those pictures, then he might see you right? You have searched for the hidden cameras and all with your best friends, but nothing you could find, then how?

"I want words, y/n. don't just nod."

Your eyes went wide and quickly you cut the call and threw it on the bed. How?

He called you again and again but you didn't pick up, you kept staring at the phone.

A message popped up in your phone,

'hey! I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you were nodding because I got the mail it had delivered.'

'I'm sorry, love.'

'Please tell me. Do you like it?'

Didn't mean to scare you......

You stared at the gift box in front of you. Didn't bother to open it but you texted him like usual 'yes' with emojis. He was too happy because of the way his next messages were flooding in your inbox.

.

.

.

It started to feel suffocated and exposed in your own apartment and your two best friends repeatedly inviting you to stay at their place. Yes, you gladly accepted it and started to spend most of the days at their house. Sometimes, having sleepovers and movie nights or you all going together for short trips for half of the day. Renjun showed you his recent paintings dedicated to you. You couldn't really decipher the meanings behind each of his paintings but still you liked it because his hard work behind it was showing.

Haechan learned some new recipes to cook for you and honestly, most of the time, he made a mess of them. Still, the love for you was showing in the work.

These two were actively keeping your mind off from the incidents happening back at your apartment.

Renjun was driving you to your apartment when he offered you again, "why don't you move in with us? It will be safe and easier for you."

"no. I don't want to be a bother. I should talk with him. Why is he doing this with me?  Hope, it can solve the problem." you looked down on your lap.

"and you think he will? Will he leave you after that? He is obsessed with you. His obsessions are clearly showing. A healthy relationship is not like this. when there's still time. Come out of it."

He pulled the car in front of your apartment and you nodded, "I will think about this. Thank you, Jun."

He nodded and patted your head, planting a kiss to the side, "take care and be safe. Call me or Haechan if it's too much."

You exited his car with a smile but your smile soon disappeared when you reached your doorstep. Again, those flowers and letters.

And this time a message popped up in your phone from an unknown id,

'How was the trip, love? Did you enjoy it? Are you missing me?'

You were so scared that you quickly dialed Renjun's number and he was quick enough to reach your location and engulfed you in a hug.

"It's okay. I am here. Don't be scared."

When he asked you for the keys, you shook your head. You didn't want to enter the door and whispered to him to take you somewhere else. And he did. He listened to your pleading, he himself didn't want to leave you there alone. So, he drove you to a cliff where you love the most to spend time talking about your life. This is the place where only three of you come often.

When you reached the place, you were surprised to see Haechan with a white leather jacket and Black jeans standing, leaning against his bike and you exited the car, only to run towards him, "Haechan..."

"Baby...are you okay?" his voice was soothing just like other times. His tone becomes sweeter when he speaks to you. He really treats you like a baby.

And the next day how you ended up at their doorstep, finally having too much of the threats and scared that he might pull up something more crazy.

They blocked his number and shifted all your things from the apartment to their house. Even, they managed to change your university classes to online. Haechan even bought you a new phone with a new number so that you don't have to feel scared of him texting you again.

Was it all over? Or something more crazy was supposed to happen?

>>>><<<<

It's been over six months, you are staying with them in their house, which they make you feel assured to think of yours too. But something, you did notice. Their skinship with you. The tension between you when either of them is too close to you. Why? You have a boyfriend. Well, maybe you had.

Then, what's this they are trying to show you? Trying to make you feel.

You were standing beside Haechan who was beside you cutting vegetables because last night, he decided to learn to make you a new meal which a lover should try to impress their crush.

"So, am I your crush?" you asked him and raised your brow when he blushed and turned away.

He shook his head while washing the knife, "keep quiet. I am doing something important. Don't distract me."

"So, am I your distraction?" you neared him and stepped beside him, leaning against the counter. "Tell me."

He glanced at you before placing the knife to the side and with a quick move, he caged you between his arms, trapping you between the counter and his body.

"Haechan..." you gasped because of his sudden action.

"Ask me the question again." his breath was near you, fanning your lips. His soft voice yet a tone of demanding was enough to make your breaths heavy. You averted your eyes away when he grabbed your jaw, "look at me and ask the question."

His lips were almost touching yours and the only thing that was crossing your mind was to kiss him. Why? You don't know. But you wanted to.

"Kiss me." you whispered the words, your mind going blank and your hands clutching the marble edge of the counter, nails colliding against the slippery surface and you bit your lower lip.

"Fuck, I would've never thought you wanted me in the same way I wanted you," he took your hand and pulled you towards him so your bodies were pressed together more. "So you are attracted to me too?" He whispers low in your ear, making your breath hitch.

"Well, I guess-"

"A direct one word answer is what I want." he cut you off, nibbling on your earlobe. "Are you enjoying this, y/n?"

"Yes," you answered him, finally relaxing in his arms. you held onto his shoulder to prevent yourself from collapsing, your knees feeling weak at his touch. "I love you."

He continued peppering your neck with soft wet kisses, his breaths fanning over it. You tilted your head to allow him more access. You placed a hand on his chest, then began to untuck his black shirt, both hands starting to roam under it.

His lips pulled your lips into a kiss, a soft sensual one. Never in a while, you thought to be like this with him and even going further into it.

At the same time, he was busy moving his hands up and down your sides, still moving his lips with the rhythm of yours. He grunted when your soft hands met his bare skin, his heart beating erratically. Tongues intertwining and hands roaming each other's bodies. You tugged his shirt eagerly and he helped you to take it off before throwing it away, he stopped you when you were pulling your shirt.

He wanted to do it on his own. He wanted to see you on his own.

He separated his mouth for a few seconds so he could take your shirt off. You admired his bare tanned chest and abs, not being able to keep your hands off him. He went to pull your pants off.

"Fuck...you are driving me crazy." He smirked and you were nervously looking at the door to see if anyone would accidentally see you in that position with him."don't worry, no one is at home. Not even Renjun."

Before you could say a word, he again dominated your mouth once again, making your mind go blank. His hands traveled to your ass, squeezing it. You moaned into the kiss, grinding against his still clothed hard-on. "Fuck, you're so hot," he grunted, gripping your ass harder. "He had this all to himself. Lucky bastard."

"I didn't fuck him." You whispered.

"Then am I the first one?" He smirked and held your chin upward. You nodded and shyly looked at him. "Words y/n.." he pecked your lips.

"Yes, Haechan. You are the first one. Please do something."

He lifted you by your thighs and placed you on the counter. You gasped when your lower half came in contact with the cold surface. He crouched down to kiss your belly. Your chest heaved up and down in anticipation as you felt his touch, trailing kisses starting from your ankle and going higher. you began squirming when the soft lingering touch of his lips reached your inner thigh. "Hae-Haechan..." your breathing labored.

He poked his tongue out to trace the edges of your underwear, dangerously close to your heat, but avoided the spot on purpose just to tease you a little longer. He is a tease and he is even proving it to you in this situation.

your hand grabs at his hair, the other gripping the edge of the counter. "please, stop teasing me," you whined, getting more and more frustrated.

He removed your panties with his teeth, staring up at your face, twisted in frustration. "God, I can't get enough of your look. You are perfect, y/n."

Your knuckles start hurting from the tight grip you had on the counter but it's the only thing that's keeping your grip strong because your grip on all other senses has been lost completely. Is it right to do this with your best-friend? But your body betrays you with the excitement building inside. You feel yourself attracted to him but...

You were distracted when you didn't notice that he parted your heated lips and inserted his index finger inside your lips, making you let out a choked up moan. It glided in easily, emitting a squelching sound as wetness surrounds it.

"Haechan, we should stop this. This is not right." you breathed out, sounding almost as if you were in pain.

Haechan, too preoccupied with his task, didn't even acknowledge your plea; he adds a second finger, watching how they get swallowed up by your heat. He began a scissoring motion, feeling your walls pulse around them.

" Fuck, Haechan...that- that's...more please" you cried out when you felt his thumb press on your sensitive clit. you breathe heavily, your skin sticky with sweat, legs shaking and fingers going numb from the grip on the marbled counter-top.

"I will give you more, baby." he kissed your belly and  nuzzled his face, his breath tingling against your hot skin. "Let's have the fun. I will give you everything, I promise."

When he couldn't take the insistent throbbing of his cock anymore, he stood and made quick work of lowering his pants and boxers. you whimpered at the loss of his fingers. He held your thigh with one hand and grabbed his length with the other, rubbing the tip against your wetness. "Tell me how much you want it, baby," he demanded and slid his cock against your clit.

"Want it so bad, need it, Haechan, please fill me up," you panted, swerving your hips.

"I want you too. So bad. My filthy girl. My princess is going to be mine." he unclasped your bra and quickly plopped a nipple in his mouth. You moaned out his name and grabbed his hair, his grunts vibrating against your skin. When he heard your plea to stop again, he chuckled against your chest while still licking and sucking your nipples, "don't fight yourself, princess. You know you want this. I know you want this. He couldn't have given you this like me." he bit your skin near the collarbone, "fuck...he should not have come into our life. I would have gotten you sooner."

your back arched off the countertop when the tip slipped in and he simultaneously groaned in delight. He pushed the rest in slowly, filling you up as promised. He leaned over your body to press his lips to your neck and leave wet kisses.

Both of your hands were buried into his hair, making it messier than it already was. He pulled away and pulled you a little closer to the edge by your thighs. you gasped and grabbed at the edge again to stabilize yourself. He pulled you in for a passionate kiss and he moaned into the kiss feeling you clenching around him. Your tears strained your face and this time, it made him smile because you were not crying because of that shit and his threats but because of him and his sweet tortures on your sensitive parts.

He gave you no warning before he pulled out, only leaving the tip in, and pushing back in.

he grunted, feeling the squeeze of those tight warm walls around him. "Shit," he swore, staring at your figure. His hands went up to squeeze your breasts and fickle your nipples, igniting your senses and making your body react to his touches more.

"You," Haechan praised, pushing in, "are...so...sexy" Each word was punctured with a powerful thrust, knocking the breath out of you beneath him.

His movements gradually started to get faster, his hands gripping your hips. He slowed down to put your legs over his shoulders and held on to your thighs instead, thrusting harder, reaching deep inside your warmth. "Haechan!" you clawed at his back, letting out lewd moans that mix with the sound of skin slapping on skin. he pecked your lips and smirked.

"Ah- Yeah, baby, scream my name! Let me hear you who's fucking you this good," He said in between thrusts.

"Haechan, yes, fuck me!" you repeated his name insistently, overcome with ecstasy.

he rolled his hips, grunting in pleasure each time. His tongue glided across his lower lip as he watched you with hooded eyes. Haechan moaned when your walls clamped down on his cock, pulsing around him, tightening and squeezing."Fuck!"

"y/n, so, so good, you are doing so good I'm so close, fuck!" your vision went white as you hit your high, body spasming with aftershocks and toes curling while your hips keep moving against his.

your orgasm along with your blissful facial expression triggered his own, causing him to release hot, sticky spurts of cum. He pulls out and jerks off over you, more coming out to paint your lower stomach.

he pressed an affectionate kiss on your leg that was still over his shoulder. "God, that was awesome," he breathed, running a hand through his sweaty black hair.

He helped you sit up comfortably before pulling you in for a heated kiss, your arms going around his broad shoulders. you sighed in satisfaction, softly dragging your nails down his naked back.

He bit your bottom lip in return, hands roaming your thighs. "Good?" Haechan asked you after pulling away. you nod in agreement, "all good."

He pulled his pants back up and stepped back to collect your disposed dress. He carefully dressed you back in your clothes, leaving the inner wears still on the floor. You didn't bother to wear it as you were going to shower anyways.

He kissed your cheek and you blushed, "I can't believe we just did that on my kitchen counter..." you hid your face in the crook of his neck. "but..I...it feels so wrong."

"Why?" He hugged your body and kissed your head. You murmured against his bare skin, "we are best friends and this feels so wrong...we are not even dating..."

"Will you let me be your boyfriend?" he pulled back to look at your face. Your surprised expression earned a chuckle and a kiss on your tip of the nose from him. You asked him softly, "are you serious?"

He nodded and pressed his forehead to yours, "yes. I am. Will you?"

"Y-yes. I can try."

He pressed his lips to you and whispered, "I promise I will treat you better than him. I love you."

."I love you too, Haechan."

.

.

The sun shone brightly on the two figures lying comfortably in bed. Haechan blinked his eyes open and stretched, accidentally waking you up. you gently placed your hand on his cheek, caressing it slowly. You were still in disbelief after the last event.

"Good morning," he greeted in a gruff sleepy voice. The sound of his low voice made your cheeks heat up slightly as you smiled back at him with a greet. you both giggled and cuddled closer; your activities from the last evening had you both glowing in happiness and excitement.

"Sleep well, baby?" Haechan, stroking your hair. "hm, best sleep I've had in a while." you offered a small smile but he frowned. "What do you mean 'in a while'? Have you not been sleeping well?" He asked, concerned.

"It's not that... I just slept better since you were next to me," you buried your face in his chest in order to hide your embarrassment.

.

.

.

Well that was not the end, even though you started dating Haechan. You could see Renjun was in a bit of a sour mood recently. Snapping at Haechan every now and then and sometimes, he even glares at you for no reason.

"Y/n...are you busy?" Renjun was standing at your doorstep, you plugged out your earphones and sat up properly and patted the place beside you. You shook your head and smiled, "no. I'm just chilling. Haechan said he will be coming home late. Why, do you need something?"

He stepped forward and locked the door behind him. Your eyes went wide in surprise, "Renjun?"

He chuckled and noticed a photo frame on a shelf beside him, you and Haechan smiling brightly at the camera. He himself clicked that picture for you two. He had also clicked a picture with you but why not he is there as well? Oh, beside it there is another picture but all three of you smiling, you in between staring at the camera and them staring at you.

"How are you and Haechan doing?" His slow steps made your heart beat fast. Your breath heaving with his low voice and chuckles in between his questions. You gulped and scooted towards the bed frame.

You managed to smile, "we are fine."

He placed himself beside you and scanned your body, in shorts and a short tee. You are really a tease. He thought to himself and his gaze darkened with the thought that you are dating his step-brother. You tried to move away from him when he held your wrist and pulled you in front, "where are you going?"

"no..I'm not going anywhere."

"Am I not good for you?" his dark voice and the tight grip on your wrist didn't let you avert your eyes away. He curled a lock of yours between his fingers and traced your face, "speak...angel. I know you can use your words." he kissed the tip of your nose and smiled.

"Yes, you are good." you breathed out the words. He pulled your ankles and wrist together towards him, a slow tug upwards made you sit on his thigh. Your legs folded by your knees and resting on either side of his leg.

"You know, haechan is not the only one who loves you in the way you are attracted to him." he leaned and whispered in your ears, "you don't know how bad I want you angel. I want to ruin the innocence of you." his breath tickling your earlobe and his teeth grazing over your back of the ears, where he pressed a kiss and trails down wet and sloppy kiss downwards to your neck and throat.

"R-Renjun...stop.."

He darkly chuckled in your ears and pulled apart to stare at your scared face, the look he is used to seeing because of the past incident of your obsessive boyfriend. He grabbed your wrist to bring your hand to his chest and leaned forward, "you didn't tell him to stop. And, look, do you feel the heart? That's beating for you my love."

"What do you mean?"

"I love you, y/n...please...I love you so much."

he pulled down the straps of your red tee, slipping them off your shoulders, unclipping the bra with one swift click and kissing the skin there. He moved lower to nip at your collarbones and you curled your hands above his chest, arching forward. He helped you slip your arms out, then proceeded to pull the fabric low enough along with your bra to expose your breasts. His head descended down to take a nipple into his mouth, making it harden as he swirled his tongue around it, gently toying with the other between two fingers. you squirmed, your chest rising and falling with every breath you took.

"Renjun, please..."

"It doesn't take much to have you begging, huh?" He teases, making you whine in response, "I'll have you begging even more in a minute, love."

Renjun kissed his way down your stomach, using his hands to pull down your shorts to reveal your panties. He pushed your knees apart, causing you to gasp in surprise. He pushed you down on the bed, your head hitting softly against the mattress. He traced his lips at the edge of your underwear, staring up at you with desire in his eyes; your reactions will never cease to entrance him. Them.

Your hands tightened in his hair, tugging at it softly as Renjun continued to tease you, softly nibbling at your thighs near the edges of your panties. he hooked his fingers through it and pulled it down your legs, taking it off and dropping it to the floor, leaving you bare apart for the tee bunched up at your waist.

your hands slipped out of his hair as Renjun scooted further down the bed, placing your legs over his shoulders. He kissed your inner thighs, tracing his tongue along your sweet skin before going even lower. you let out a loud gasp and your fingers twisted into the sheets when he licked at your heat. legs trembling with every contact of his tongue made with your clit. He held tightly onto your thighs, pressing his pointed tongue against your swollen clit in a teasing manner and flicking the little bud.

You were practically crying when Renjun pressed his tongue inside of you, slightly parting your walls. He looked up, seeing your face twisted in pleasure, panting and moaning as he thrusted his tongue inside your heat. He used one of his hands to rub your clit with his thumb and you whined loudly, trying to push your hips back against him.

"I want to cum," you stutter out, thrashing your head from side to side.

Renjun stopped all his movements to look up at you, "What's the magic word, baby?"

"Please," you begged, your hands pushing his head down. you couldn't take it anymore. you were so fucking close to the edge, you barely needed a push to reach your peak.

"You are so perfect, y/n."

He chuckled before diving back down to accomplish his task: he slurped and licked vigorously, swirling his tongue and flicking your most sensitive nerve. He pinned your hips to the bed to keep you from moving too much as he worked closer to orgasm. Renjun knew you wanted to cum before it even happened: the legs on his shoulders tighten around him and shake with the force of your climax, sending you crashing down.you pulled hard at his duo toned hair.

Soon after, your body turns slack, as if melted into a puddle. He kissed your inner thigh then your belly button and continued all the way up to your chest. He didn't waste any time removing the pant, throwing it to the side, he slowly pulled up his shirt above his head and your eyes locked at his chest, Renjun softly nips at the soft and supple skin of your neck, tasting the sweetness of it, inhaling the scent.

your hands held onto his broad shoulders and your nails dragged down his back when he finally pushed inside you, burying himself in your tight heat. He rolled his hips gently, enjoying the burning pleasure you brought to him.

"Y/n." He moaned in a low voice. you held onto him tighter, pushing back against him, trying to meet his gentle movements.

Renjun's hands roamed your body, caressing every curve of your form, leaving goosebumps in their wake. your breathing was erratic, heartbeat beating fast and loud in your own ears.

you could barely handle the way he was holding you close and making those erotic sounds right next to your ear. sweat slick bodies move in harmony, pushing and pulling, biting and scratching, lost in a flame of passion.

Renjun nipped softly at your throat then at your chin and finally your lips. He rubs your noses together affectionately and giggle at the sweet gesture.

No words were exchanged as you stared into each other's eyes, in the middle of your own little world, the only important thing being one another.

Renjun lowered your legs to around his waist and accelerated the cadence of his movements, already sensing you were close by the way you were gripping him even tighter.

The rhythm turned sloppy as you both chased pleasure, rocking against each other, holding on before finally letting go, flying high before spiraling down together and drowning in pure bliss. The heavy breathing fills the otherwise silent room and sweet kisses were exchanged along with soft touches.

Renjun hid his flushed face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and letting his body relax but not resting his weight on you. He couldn't get his heart to slow down; the proximity and your delicate touch were almost too much for him to handle.

"Angel," he called breathlessly, snuggling into you underneath him, "I love you," he finally said. Laying on his side, he traced your face with his index finger, from your closed eyelids to your cheek to the bridge of your nose, admiring every detail of your angelic face.

The only response he got was your soft breathing.

Renjun smiled to himself, closing his eyes and drifting into a deep sleep beside you, holding onto you tightly in his embrace.

>>>><<<<

"I'm sorry, Haechan." you were practically crying while hugging the boy in front of you and no matter how many times he did ask you about the reason, you were just clinging onto him and crying because of what you did last night.

He pulled you on his lap and rocked you in his embrace, "shh...baby tell me, what happened?" he kissed your head, "did he contact you again?" you shook your head and buried your head into his chest. "Then is it about, Renjun?"

You quickly looked up to him. Does he know what you did last night? He really answered your question as if he could read your mind.

"I know what happened yesterday." he combed your hair back and traced the purple and red marks on your skin around the neck and the exposed body parts. "If you are thinking, I'm angry with you. No, I'm not."

"Haechan?"

He smiled and pressed his lips to your temple, "I love you, princess. He loves you too. We both know our weakness for you. Because of this, we decided to have you as ours. But we were doubtful about you. How you will react and after yesterday. I'm sure you don't have a problem accepting him." he pecked your lips, and whispered into it, "Do you have a problem with this?"

"But this is wrong."

He chuckled and grabbed your neck softly, yanking your head back soft enough not to hurt you, his gaze darkened but quickly vanished with a smile appearing on his face, "you are doing no wrong, baby. This is what you want."

You were staring at his face. His words and his actions were more dominant than other days. As if he was punishing you for your deeds with his brother but also, holding back himself because that's the thing he wanted too. Or rather agreed to.

"I promised you. I would keep you safe and would protect you from everything then, why are you so afraid?" he leaned to your ear and said in a low voice, "Be brave, be strong, but take it easy. No rush baby. I know you got this."

"I love you, Haechan." you murmured and he kissed your earlobe, humming in satisfaction before returning to your lips. " You know I love you so much, right princess?" he pressed his lips to you and pulled your hair back to kiss your throat and left behind sucking on the spots.

You nodded and he asked you softly, "you will let Renjun join now?" you nodded and your mind was going blank under his sweet tortures of his mouth and hands roaming around your body. Your groans when he was pulling your hair earned chuckles from him.

He took his time teasing you, biting and nibbling and licking every sensitive part of your body, teasing you relentlessly until you were a hot whimpering mess.

You heard the door creaked open and noticed Renjun walking in, his eyes filled with lust and hunger for you. His each slow and cautious step made you squirm under Haechan's hold. He reached near the bed and pulled his belt around from the waist and tied your hands together to prevent you from moving them. your hands were by the top of your head.

"Renjun...why?" your voice was not recognisable, whether you were asking or pleading to him. He leaned forward, placing his palm on the mattress and smirked, "I haven't touched you yet but still you are begging."

Haechan pushed your top upwards revealing your body bare underneath. He quickly leaned down to trail wet kisses on your stomach, chest and flicking the nipples with his fingers and swirling the other one with tongue. Most of your body was already littered in little dark marks left by him. you squirmed as he continued his slow tortures, claiming you with love bites.

"I want you to do exactly as I say. Got it?" Haechan said in between kisses, looking at you expectantly afterwards. You nodded and when you tried to bring your hands down, Renjun caught them and glared, "did I tell you to move them?"

You shook your head frantically and whined, "No." Renjun discarded his pants and shirt, only in his boxers placed himself on the other side of you to claim your lips, holding your tied up wrist in place and other hand twirling the hardened nipples.

Haechan sat on his knees and palmed himself over the sweatpants and stared at you both. "Good girl. Now, spread your legs for me."

You did as told, spreading your legs with little resistance. He bit his lip at the sight, getting turned on. "Damn, that's hot," he gets on top of you, pressing himself against you. Your breathing stopped for a split second when both of them were right in front of you.

"You are ours, y/n. No one can take you away from us." Renjun said and kissed your cheek.

Haechan placed a light kiss on your nose, cheek then chin before descending lower.

"Please..." Upon hearing you beg, Haechan wasted no more time before diving into your heat, slipping in one finger and then followed by another. He made sure you were enjoying yourself by watching your facial expressions, grinding against the mattress at the same time to relieve his erection.

Your fingers clenched, twisting and crumpling the sheets when Renjun suddenly intertwined your pinned hands with his, your thighs squeezing around Haechan's hand involuntarily, the pleasure driving you almost wild. your breathing comes out in little gasps and your chest heaves up and down as Renjun continues flicking your most sensitive bud in hard circles, his tongue gliding easily across it. you could feel the familiar fire in the pit of your lower stomach blazing up. Just as it's about to explode, Haechan comes to an abrupt stop.

"Why?" you managed to whine through your heavy breathing.

"I like teasing you, baby. I like seeing you desperate and begging for my touch. Princess, you look so hot tied up like this, under my control. God, I wish you could see yourself from my eyes." you rubbed and squeezed your thighs together to ease the throbbing between the legs.

Haechan's dirty words, Renjun's manhandling, their rough voices and the animalistic looks in their eyes were making you feel things you never felt before. They were going crazy for you. The girl they dreamt of having for themselves was under their watch, their control, squirming and begging for them.

"I could just watch you all day." Renjun said and inhaled your scent from the crook of your neck and Haechan pulled down his boxers and took his erection in his hand, staring at you as he slowly moved his hand along his length.

Renjun continued whispering to you, he was enjoying watching you squirm and beg under his hold, "yes, angel. You are doing so good for us."

"Please, I can't! Make me cum..." you could hear the sound of him jerking off and making you even more desperate; they were free to do whatever they wanted while you had to take whatever they gave you.

"Aww, is my baby getting impatient?" The male above you smirked as he sees this and intentionally lets out loud groans, "Fuck..." He could hear you whining and the face you made looked like you were in pain. Renjun starts thrusting into his tight first, dangerously close to the edge. He bit his lower lip and forced himself to stop.

"Tell him what you want, angel."

"Fuck me. Ruin me, make me cum," you begged. you had never been more desperate in your entire life than in this very moment.

Haechan leaned over your body to leave more hickeys on your neck. "Mmh, baby is so wet for me," he said, running his fingers through your folds. He aligned himself with your heat and rubbed his length on your clit. You trembled at the sensation, trying to get him closer to you by wrapping your legs around his waist.

Haechan held onto your thighs to bring you closer and easily inserted himself inside your heat. You both moaned in unison as he pushed in slowly and dragged his cock back out before pushing back in and repeating. "Fuck."

None of your senses seemed to be working as you continued whining loudly and thrashing your head with your eyes closed, paying no attention to the almost crazed look on their faces.

"Baby, so good. Fuck, You are a poison to my mind. A sweet poison." He pronounced every word with a hard thrust, making it difficult for you to speak; you couldn't focus on anything around you, too overwhelmed by all the different sensations taking over your body. you pulled at the leather belt, nails digging into the palms of Renjun's hands.

The said man cursed in your ear, he quickly held himself up and spread his cum on your chest.

The man above you slowed down to a complete stop, making your eyes shot open. "Stop doing that, damn it!" you yell out in frustration.

you suddenly gasped in surprise when Haechan spanked your asscheek. "I'm in control here so I do as I please. Disrespect me again and I will leave you on the edge." With wide eyes, you nod frantically at the seriousness in his voice. "Answer me."

You swallow hard, flustered, "Yes."

"Behave, y/n." Renjun said beside you and pulled you in a deep kiss, muffling your noises. Haechan slowly starts thrusting again, making you choke on a moan. "God, that feels so good."

"Good. keep making those noises while I fuck you." Haechan didn't waste any time before he resumed thrusting inside at a fast pace, making you let out loud surprised moans. your hips clashed as he pounds into your wet heat, orgasms drawing closer.

" yes" you chant, followed by a series of moans. The noises made him lose control, letting out deep growls as he held onto your thighs for support and rams into you without mercy.

The bed squeaks in time with his rhythm, the sound being accompanied by the labored breathing, moans and grunts. Haechan slowed his pace but went deeper, one hand going to rub your clit to finish you off.

He grinds against you as your walls pulse around him, triggering his own climax. He quickly pulls out and releases his thick load all over your lower belly.

"Mhm, fuck yeah," Haechan leaned forward to kiss you shoulders, sticking his chest to you and nuzzling into the nape of your neck. When you try to speak something, he pulls you in for a kiss. The slow, lazy and affectionate kiss and you smiled in between.

Haechan pulled away from you, leaving your body feeling slightly cold under the touch of his brother, "Lay on the bed and spread those beautiful legs for me," Renjun ordered, licking his lips.

you, as always, followed the orders given to you but not without feeling a little embarrassed; Renjun liked the way you were complying to his orders and he smirked seeing your movements under his control.

As soon as you were lying comfortably on the bed, he went to situate himself between your legs at the foot of the bed and pulled you closer by thighs, kneading them. "Look at me," he continued giving orders, the authority in his voice making you shiver.

you lifted your upper body with the support of Haechan in order to see him, Haechan untied the belt from the wrists and your eyes widened as you watched him lift his middle and ring finger to his mouth, coating them thoroughly in saliva. your chest rises and falls rapidly as you keep watching him, while he just stares back at you with that wild hunger in his eyes, moving his tongue teasingly. He then pushes the two slick digits inside you, easing them into your wet entrance. you gasp and throw your head back into Haechan's chest, unable to control your body's response, and Renjun stops halfway, "Keep watching."

Haechan laughed and his laugh vibrated on your back. He held you down on your place, pinning your body against his chest, his length poking behind your lower back and the pleasure in front was driving you crazy. "She will be gone soon. My baby is loving this." Haechan said and laughed at your weak body in his hold.

Forcing yourself to not succumb to the pleasure Renjun was making you feel, you look at him again, licking your suddenly dry lips. Renjun's eyes flicker downwards to watch his fingers get sucked up all the way to the knuckles, his dick throbbing in want. He starts moving them in and out, scissoring them and stretching the tight walls.

you watch with hooded eyes the way his tongue pokes out from in between his teeth as he concentrates on his task, fingering her expertly.

"I want you to hold it in if you are near. Think you can do that?" you nod with furrowed eyebrows, whimpering in pleasure as his long fingers continue working their magic; they glide easily thanks to how wet you were, aroused by his dominant behavior. Haechan was trailing kisses along your neck and throat, often turning your mouth to kiss your lips.

Once your thighs start squeezing around him and you buck your hips, Renjun knew you were close to the edge. He moved his hand to replace it with his length and started to move a little faster, his warm breath hitting close to your nipples, when he sucked on them afterwards.

His hand left your thigh to go towards his mouth and he sucked on his fingers to taste you, tongue swirling around it before pulling it out and pressing it against your neglected clit. You were so into it that you didn't notice Haechan collected some of your arousal and started spreading it to your hole from the back and when you whined, he pushed himself from behind you. Renjun holding your body close to him and caressing your back. "Shh...that's it. You are doing so good for us."

Haechan groaned and held you still, the other male also stopping a bit to make you adjust, "relax. You are taking us so well. Good, baby." He caressed your sides. He planted a kiss on your shoulder and the other one who was still holding you close, kissed on your crown of the head. They started moving again, each cautiously looking at your expression, alert for your discomfort and they will stop. Haechan grabbed your breasts and squeezed them and Renjun grabbed your hips, you were clutching onto both of them for dear life.

your arms give out simultaneously as your legs begin to shake almost violently, white flashing behind your tightly closed eyelids, a loud and obscene moan leaving your lips. your back arches off the chest behind you as you are brought to the highway to heaven., tears spilling from her eyes and hands gripping him, nails digging into his skin.

"Please!" you cried out, whining loudly afterwards. your body wanted to scoot away and get closer at the same time, torn between the two. you panted in exhaustion and your body relaxes once they had stopped. they placed soft kisses all over your body, pulling out slowly. 

They lay you down between them and Haechan's hands comb through your hair while you stare at the ceiling absentmindedly, catching your breath. He whispered, "Happy birthday, Princess. I love you the most."

Before you could reply to him, Renjun turned your face towards him and kissed your lips, "Happy Birthday, Angel. I love you so much."

You glanced at the clock and it was 12' o clock, your birthday. "Thank you. I love both of you" you smiled sweetly at both of them.

"So, how was that? Feel good?" Haechan asks, a cocky smirk on his face.

"Of course it did... but " you trail off, making Haechan's smile fade into worry, "But?"

"But is it okay for us three to be together?" you asked, your face becoming warmer as you confess.

you had never done anything like this before, so you felt as if you were doing something wrong or must have gone crazy that you were liking all these things

."Don't worry, y/n, we'll be perfect with each other, promise. we'll show you all kinds of things in the future," Renjun reassured, squeezing her thigh, and giving her a sweet kiss before getting up, leaving you with Haechan.

"I'm gonna shower now. Haechan, can you freshen her up?" He asks and you whine, "don't leave me with him. Let's shower together. It's my birthday and you both have to listen to me now."

Before you could complain even more, Renjun scooped you in arms and laughed, "whatever you order, maam." you hit his chest playfully, his laugh becoming louder followed by Haechan who even started teasing you how heavy you look in his arms. Both of you glared at him and entered the bathroom.

You are glad that you are no longer in the past relationship with Wooyoung. You are out of his obsession and listened to your two best friends who stayed by your side, protected you and loved you. You are out of the toxic love. You are in a pure and innocent love.

Are you really, though?

Before Haechan could enter the bathroom, he heard a notification pop up on your phone. He stepped towards the table and unlocked to see it. He smirked at the screen, placing it back on the table top and he jogged towards the bathroom  when Renjun called out his name.

'Happy Birthday, y/n!'

        -Unknown (your love)

Love is poisoned by your innocence.

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. If my favoritism is showing with any of the members then please try to understand coz Hyuck is my twin🎀

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg

[open!]

[jina1028]

Smoothie

Haechan x fem!reader

Categories: smut, recreational use of alcohol, sex in public, car sex, fwb, blowjob, tell me if I missed something

A.N. I feel like this is kinda short compared to my other works but I still hope you have fun reading <3

~♡~

You were at a club with your friends and currently seated around a table sipping your drinks and talking nonsense. As most of the times you and your friends got a bit drunk, the subject of your conversation was drifting towards nsfw territory. Your innocent question about favorite cocktails turned into a discussion about blowjobs.

"Tonight I chose piña colada because you know what they say about pineapple" Haechan winked at you, making you roll your eyes, but bringing a not well concealed smile on your face nonetheless.

A chorus of groans, giggles and bickering was interrupted by Jisung, a confused expression on his face "What do they say about pineapple?", the youngest soon regretting asking the question when Chenle answered in a loud voice "You're so clueless, everyone knows it makes your cum taste better!", a pair of girls passing by turned their heads towards the two boys as they heard the exchange, Jisung blushing hard and diverting his eyes from them as he tried to silence his friend, Chenle bursting out laughing at the scene.

"You know" Haechan picked up the conversation again "mine tastes like smoothie" and he sipped his drink while staring at you.

"No one believes you" Renjun stated, Jeno nodding beside him.

"How do you even know, did you taste it yourself?" Mark argued, Jaemin almost snorting his drink out from his nose, you almost choking on your own drink.

Haechan acted offended, frowning and getting louder as he spoke "Anyone wanna try it? I dare you!"

He earned a mix of disgusted faces and 'eww's from the table until Jaemin commented "Y/N doesn't seem too much against it" a playful look in his eyes.

Everyone turned to you, who stayed silent sipping from your straw. You didn't know if it was the alcohol, Haechan's amused gaze on you or the crush you had on him from two years ago, or maybe everything together, but eventually you put your drink down on the table, stared back at Heachan, shrugged and replied "Maybe I wanna try so I can judge by myself."

Howls and whistles erupted from your friends, Haechan though was strangely quiet, just a sly smirk on his face while the two of you maintained eye contact for a few seconds before he turned his attention to the rest of your friends "Enough, clearly Y/N drank a bit too much, now you guys should go and have fun dancing and picking up some girls while I take her home so she can rest and sober up-"

"I'm not that drunk" you protested, interrupting him.

"Y/N, come on, I'm trying to come up with an excuse here" he sighed dramatically, getting up from his chair, coming to you and grabbing your hand, starting to drag you out from the club while waving goodbye to your friends "Jeno, Jaemin, you should take a taxi later to get back home, I'm gonna be busy."

Everyone was flabbergasted at the sudden turn of events, just like you as well, starting to laugh as soon as you realized what was happening and letting Haechan escort you to his car.

"Haechan, wait, I thought you were joking... Are we really leaving?" you questioned, still hoping this wouldn't turn out to be one of his silly jokes.

He turned around to you while opening the driver's door "Y/N I'm so serious right now, unless you wanna go back inside and tell them it was a joke."

You looked him in the eyes and opened the front passenger's door "Get inside the car."

And he obeyed, inserting the key to start the engine as soon as you closed the doors. You stopped him though, worried about the risks of driving after drinking and making him pout "You have a point but I really wanted to go to your place or somewhere private"

You looked around the dark parking lot "We're in a corner, it's dark, there's no one around, everyone is inside having fun..."

Haechan struggled to stay focused as you stroked his thigh, inching up more and more until you managed to unzip his jeans and tuck your hand inside to slowly and steadily stroke at his half hard member through his boxers, bringing more blood to it as it swelled up under the pressure of your tantalizing hand.

"There's other cars around here, what if someone comes too close..." he started to argue, trying to convince himself more than you, but eventually sighing deeply at your ministrations, his eyelids fluttering closed.

"It will just look like you're sleeping, no one will notice" you reassured him, removing your hand from his boxers just to push them down enough to free his now erect member, resuming your strokes and inching closer with your face.

His lips slightly parted as he let out a soft moan, hand finding your hair as you finally reached out your tongue to tease the underside of his tip. He tried to push a little to stop your teasing, impatience getting the best of him but you warned him grazing the tip with your teeth, earning a hiss from him, his pleading eyes now set on yours and swifting to your mouth, so close to his member but still not giving him what he really wanted.

Haechan felt so desperate, it just slipped out of his mouth before he could realize "Please... Take it, please..."

Your pussy pulsed and you felt your folds getting wetter with your arousal "I'll make you feel good" you purred and with your tongue flat on the underside of his cock you finally closed your lips around the tip and hollowed your cheeks, giving it a nice suck, Haechan instinctively fisting your hair to ground himself at the sensation.

You started to bob your head on his cock, occasionally hollowing your cheeks, sucking and swirling your tongue on the tip, dipping it in the slit collecting his precum. You had to admit it tasted good and doubled your efforts to make him cum faster so you could taste his seed.

Hachan felt dizzy, he couldn't decide if he wanted to savor the moment with his eyes closed or if he wanted to stay focused watching the way your mouth and hand worked on him.

He tasted so good and was responding so well, moaning and hissing every time you sucked on the tip and twisted your hand on his slick base, you couldn't help but get cock drunk, moaning around his cock and feeling your wetness seep through your panties.

Haechan realized he was getting too loud so he clamped his free hand on his mouth to try and keep it quiet, his other hand still tangled in your hair, pulling a little as he started get closer to the edge, calling your name in quiet whispers to try and warn you.

You heard him but didn't care, and instead brought your free hand to fondle his balls encouraging him to let it go, sucking greedily on his head and pumping the lenghth with your other hand.

That's when you felt the grip on your hair tightening, his breath hitching and finally letting go with a low moan, his cock twitching in your mouth as it spilled his thick seed on your tongue, a curse leaving his lips when he realized what he just did.

You kept softly sucking on his cock until he had nothing left to give you and you let it out of your mouth, a string of saliva breaking in the process.

Haechan watched you closely as you finally swallowed his cum with a gulp and smiled at him, teasing him repeating his own statement from earlier "It really tastes like smoothie."

[byuntrash101]

Touch me

reader x dom!haechan

smut | nsfw | mdni

very sweet dom!haechan, suggestion of past self harm and anxiety, mental healing, virgin reader, big dick haechan, pet names (baby, angel, princess), lots of praising, nipple play, oral (f), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill), creampie

requested | part of my 2023 prompts event [closed]

with lots of love and patience haechan was able to heal your soul. with him it feels right and you are ready to take the next big leap

[❛ it’s okay, you can touch me. ❜ + ❛ you can be rough. i can take it. ❜]

TUMBLR IS BASED ON REBLOGS. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK 🖤

A/N: this is to celebrate the Ay-yo MV 💚

Heachan was always a tease. He was always trying a new way to get on your nerves. A new way to make fun of you or just be loud, obnoxious and annoying. From an exterior perspective you two didn’t look like a very harmonious couple but that didn’t matter.

Because between the both of you, you understood each other perfectly, on a spiritual level. You were a really anxious and nervous person and Haechan’s lighthearted teases were primarily a way of getting you out of your own head. When you were calling him annoying you were not putting yourself down. When you were playfully hitting him in the ribs you were not harming yourself.

Haechan was healing you.

In private that is what he was. He was as solid as a rock you knew you could always lean on. Taking care of your frail heart when nobody was watching. Showering you with kisses and words of affirmation when it was just the both of you. Making you more confident everyday.

And today was another big step to take. 

You two had been dating for a while and you decided it was time to finally let Haechan be really intimate with you. You decided to finally give him your everything.

Your hands were trembling when you two were kissing on his bed. Heachan was confused but he picked up something that was off. He tried to soothe you by rubbing small circles on your back, kissing you slowly, pouring his love into it.

“Haechan I-” you started, nervously biting your bottom lip down.

“What's wrong baby?” he asked.

“I want…” the words got caught in your throat.

“It’s ok baby” he took your hands into his, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand. You took a deep breath.

“I want… you” you finally exhaled in a mere murmur. 

Haechan instantly sat back up straight on the headboard. You didn't expect him to react this way and you fidgeted with your fingers trying to scan his face.

Haechan never expected that. Well at least not today, not right now. Actually he never not even once pressured you into doing anything and he was ready to wait for you for as long as necessary. Though there were times he couldn’t fight against his nature and would get hard because you kissed him back a little more roughly or your hands wandered a little high on his fleshy thighs. But he never ever tried to convince you to go further.

“Are you sure?” he finally spoke out.

Heachan took your hands in his again. You initially thought he was going to bounce around the room like a child on christmas morning but instead of excitement you only distinguished worry swimming in his dark brown orbs.

“Yes. I am”. You replied as affirmatively as you could and it did the trick. Haechan believed you.

He started to lean back into you and kissed you again. It started out like any kiss from him. It was gentle and warm but as time went by Haechan let lust win over him and the kiss deepened. He caught your face between both his warm sun kissed hands, pulling you deeper into his embrace. 

Haechan briefly broke the kiss to pass his graphic t-shirt over his head. You looked at him in awe. Your eyes trailed his bronzed skin from collarbone to his toned abs. You’ve seen him without his shirt before but it was never in this setting. This time it stirred something in the pit of your stomach and you harshly pressed your thighs together.

Haechan leaned over you once again to pick up right where he left off. While he was lapping at your tongue, you let your hands wander down his toned chest to his belt and eventually your fingers glazed over something poking through his jeans. 

You instinctively retracted your hand. Haechan broke the kiss to look at you.

“I-... S-sorry. I-” you stuttered, nervously scratching your neck but Heachan stopped you. He gently caught your wrist.

“It's okay, you can touch me.” He placed your hand right on his bulge. You felt it twitch as soon as your fingers glazed over it. You were absolutely petrified. But Haechan knew how to ease you into it. He knew how to guide you. 

He started to palm himself with your hand. Applying some pressure into your hand. His hips also responded to your touch and they rolled into your palm.

“Fffuck” Haechan breathed out, closing his eyes to this new sensation.

You didn’t expect he would make such a sound, swearing under his breath that way. You felt arousal build up in your core. Soon Haechan let go of your hand and you went on to continue to pleasure him on your own.

“Yes baby just like that” he praised, breath short, jaw hanging open as you felt your cheeks burn.

After a while you felt like his poor length was ready to suffocate through the tighter than ever jeans. So you stopped and Haechan instantly buried his face in the crook of your neck while he laid your back flat against the soft mattress.

He planted a thousand kisses all over you while he gently peeled off every piece of clothing cladding your body until you were left in your underwear. Your heart had never beaten so fast. You wanted to crawl into a hole when his avid eyes roamed over you as you surrendered your body’s every secret and somehow the deep brown orbs appeared to be still yearning for more. 

Then he finally took your bra off. You took a deep breath trying to chase away the crushing nervousness.

“You are beautiful, baby” he exhaled. Barely being able to wrap his mind around what was happening. Finally getting to see you under him like this.

He kissed you again. From your neck going down to your chest, you arched your back onto him when his wet tongue lapped at your hard nipple. A soft moan escaping your lips as you bit your bottom lip right after, trying to cage in the rest of the moans caught up in your throat.

“I wanna hear more of those sounds” Haechan practically growled lips attached to your lower stomach. He briefly got up to rip away his jeans and boxers and you finally saw it.

Haechan’s cock.

Your eyes round up at the sight and you try to swallow down the lump in your throat but to no avail. You never expected him to be this big… The thick member sits tall and proud. Harder than rock, ornamented by thick veins running down the shaft. A bead of precum pearling at its slit. You nervously swipe your tongue over your lips.

You’re having second thoughts you don’t think you can fit this inside of you but before you have time to voice out your concerns Haechan has picked up on it.

When he joins you back on the bed he goes back to smothering you with kisses and affection going lower into your pubic bone.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll make you nice and ready for me” He says just before planting a kiss on your clothed center. You feel yourself quiver under his lips.

Delicately Haechan removes your underwear and can’t help but smirk when he notices the wet patch staining them before tossing them to the side. But he keeps it to himself. There will be plenty of time to tease you about it when you are both done. 

You fight the urge to close your legs when Haechan eyes down your most private part, lustful glint tinting his dark orbs. 

This time that is it. No turning back, you’re doing this.

Haechan kisses you again right on your bundle of nerves and you can’t begin to explain the difference between now and when you still had your underwear on. The contact with his plump lips makes you grip the sheets. And Haechan can’t help but notice you are very responsive.

He plants another kiss but this time let his tongue linger on your folds. You feel a shot of electricity down your spine when he starts to flick his tongue. 

“Fuck baby you taste so fucking sweet”

You repress an embarrassed whimper while Haechan grows hungrier. Relentlessly sucking on your bundle of nerves sending electricity through your core, gathering more and more arousal gushing out of your quivering center.

Haechan then gently slipped one finger inside your dripping heat. You take a deep breath as his digit progresses inside you until he bottoms out. 

“That’s my good girl” he praised as he rubbed small circles as deep as his finger could reach.

It was bearable until he curled his finger right into a spot you never suspected to be there in the first place. A shot of pure pleasure ripped through you as you moaned out loud and arched your back.

“Hmm…” Haechan purred in satisfaction, lips flush against your soaked core. “So sensitive for me, baby”

He pushed your magic button again and again which resulted in your arousal gushing out of you abundantly.

“Fuck baby. Can you take another one?” Haechan asked while he presented a second finger at your entrance.

You nodded your head frantically, pushing your hips down trying to get him to fill you up as soon as he could. He chuckled.

“My angel is so eager for my fingers” he said as he slid a second digit in. You bit your lips at the sting you felt as he parted you.

“H-Haechan” you cried out.

The way your walls stretched out around his fingers was intoxicating. Haechan started to slowly move in and out of you while you mewled.

“So good baby. So good for me” he whispered right before latching back onto your bundles of nerves. The deadly combo of his fingers pumping in and out of you while his tongue flicked your clit was slowly driving you to your edge.

“Please Haechan…” you cried out, hand going to entangle with his thick shiny hair. “Please don’t stop I’m gonna c-”

“Go ahead baby” He said, smirking against your folds.

Haechan didn’t rest, fingering you and feasting on you like a buffet until you felt yourself quivering around his fingers, walls eagerly gripping his digits as if trying to keep them inside you forever.

Before you could even realize you released all over Haechan’s mouth, which he happily welcomed, eagerly drinking your cum like a parched man.

While you gently came down from your high Haechan massaged your thighs and kissed all over them. 

When you came back to a relative consciousness Haechan was kneeling between your legs. Huge cock in hand, lazily stroking himself as he looked at you being already fucked out.

“Are you ready for me, my princess?” his husky voice resonated in the dark room. “are you okay with going raw?” He looked kind of embarrassed all of a sudden. “I didn’t come prepared. I-... I didn’t know you wanted-”

“Yes, it’s okay. I’m on the pill” you interrupted him. “Please Haechan… I want you now” you whimpered while spreading your legs even wider.

“Shittt” He cursed under his breath, trying not to let your shameless behavior drive him crazy.

He aligned himself with your entrance, rubbing circles with his tip, gathering your wetness. And he started pushing into you. You held your breath as he pushed inch after inch of his large member inside you. 

You felt yourself perfectly accommodating him, the dull pain growing stronger as he progressed. You bit your lips and frowned your brows. You moaned loudly as he bottomed out.

“Look at that. My good girl perfectly taking my cock like this” He stroked your face which made you look up at him. “So good for me my baby” he praised as he very gently pulled out to push back in.

This time it hurt a lot less. You moaned as he reached the bottom of you once again.

After a few back and forths the pain came to completely disappear. Soon the familiar knot started to tighten again in the pit of your stomach.

“Fuck I just won’t be able to behave when your pussy grips my cock so fucking tight” Haechan growled as his fingers dug into your side. “I just wanna fuck you hard into the mattress” He snapped his hips into yours a lot faster and you saw stars for a brief second, pleasure shooting from your center in each of your limbs. You wanted more of this.

“You can be rough. I can take it.” you affirmed, a neediness in the voice your boyfriend didn’t fail to notice.

Haechan’s eyes snapped back to you. “You think you can take me all in baby?” Haechan asked, his voice was low, raspy and his tone was serious, almost strained. He wanted to be absolutely certain that was what you wanted because he knew if he let himself slip on that road he wouldn’t be able to stop.

“Yes. Fuck me harder Haechan” you begged.

You felt him twitch inside you. And without another word he grabbed you at the hips rotating them at a specific angle and smashed himself inside you.

“Fuck” you screamed. You felt like you were transported to another dimension.

The pleasure he was providing you was something you never experienced before. A sensation that takes over everything and anything. The blissful joy spreading in your body, making your mind hazy as you moaned and whimpered for Haechan, completely losing consciousness of anything but him.

“Fuck baby” he started as beads of sweat ran down on either side of his beautiful sun kissed face. Half lidded eyes soaked with lust staring back at you. “Fuck y/n” he grunted. “Gonna cum for you”. he announced, short breathed, strained raw voice moaning into your ear.

“Yes please. Inside. Inside me” you begged as your fingers came down to play with your clit eager to chase your own high. And you do almost instantly. 

You finally grasp your orgasm. It completely tears through you. Completely drunk on him you moan his name again and again as you cum for the second time, completely soaking him and the mattress while your walls clench and spasm around his thick cock which is the last straw for Haechan.

Finally he lets go inside you, completely covering your center with thick ropes of white hot burning cum. His slender fingers firmly holding your hips down on him while he fills you up to the brink.

He rolls down next to you completely drained and exhausted. You two have to catch your breaths for a few minutes before you can even begin to think normally again. Completely drunk on the pleasure and the euphoria of the moment.

Haechan is the first to break the silence.

“Fuck” he swears in a breath, his glistening chest rising and falling rapidly.

“I love you so much y/n”

a/n: what did you think? honestly i have a soft spot for gentle dom haechan. he's just so cute. really tried to give reader and him an authentic/genuine relationship. tell me if you liked it. i love reading your comments. dont be shy to drop my asks <3 anyway hope you enjoyed ay-yo <3

[ch3rryc4ndy]

Rainy Day

Relationship - boyfriend haechan X Fem reader

Genre - smut and semi fluff

Summary - A rainy day with you snuggling into your blankets gets ruined by your boyfriend who comes home soaked in rain but both of you find ways to warm each other up

Warning - cock warming, pet names, nipple play, haechan loves your boobs like A LOT, hickeys, biting, temperature play, praising, unprotected cock warming leading to him cumming in you

[Request ⭐︎]

I lay on the couch with one of haechan button up tees and some panties. The rain hits the ground outside making me feel even more comfortable in my blankets.

“It’s pouring outside” I hear haechan scoff as he bursts inside our apartment. His shoes squeaking as he kicks them off and drops his bags onto the ground. “Don’t you dare come near me in those soaked clothes I’m already freezing” I whine as I snuggle into my blankets.

“Well I need to be warmed up” haechan pouts as he walks over to me and tilts his head “go change” I whine as I squirm under the warmth of my blankets.

“nah” he shrugs as pulls the blankets off me and falls onto me “hyuckk” I whine as his wet clothes starts to soak my tee “mmh so warm” he hums as he pulls the blankets back on us.

“At least take your shirt off, your wetting mine” I whine as he lifts himself up slightly “you mean my shirt” he coos as he notices me wearing his shirt “but fine” he shrugs as he pulls his shirt off.

His chest is freezing from the clothes, his jeans not as wet but still cold compared to my warmth. “I like you in this” he purrs as he fiddles with the buttons “love how your nipples peek through the fabric after you felt how cold I was” he purrs.

“Well you’re freezing so” I shrug as he fully unbuttons my top “maybe I can warm you up” he purrs as he kisses the middle of my chest and starts to scatter kisses onto my boobs.

My hands tangle into his hair as his tongue circles my nipple, his hands needing them softly as he laps at my tits “so warm” he coos as my body shivers from the change of temperature of his cold lips to his warm tongue.

My moans getting slightly louder as he bites down onto my nipple, pulling softly then letting go and lapping softly. His touch gentle and soft almost as if I was some sort of porcelain doll, his fingers gliding on my skin as he butterfly kisses both my boobs.

He shows equal attention to each, his tongue rolling on my nipples as he moans onto them “god I love you’re tits” he whimpers as my hands massage his head, my legs wrapping around his waist as he rocks onto me softly.

“O- oh my h- hyuck” I pant as he laps at one of my nipples and his fingers play with the other. “I know it feels so good huh?” He coos as he looks up at me. My eyes squeeze shut from his soft pinch on my nipple. My body heating up from his soft voice praising me as he laps with need

“Yea- yeah feels so good” I whine with my head buried into the pillow. A chuckle vibrating onto my chest as he sucks a purple bruise onto me “fuck me hyuck” I hum as his head comes up. His mouth open as he catches his breath, his plump lips coated in saliva as he smacks them together instinctively.

“How about you cock warm me sweetheart?” he coos “yeah” I nod eagerly as I pull my panties off. Haechan sits back and kicks his jeans and boxers off “I don’t want you moving ok?” he looks at me with a raised eyebrow “ok” I nod as he rubs himself into my cunt “all soaked for me huh doll?” haechan smiles.

“Sit” he nods as I lower myself onto him. Moans spill out of both of us as he stretches me out, my pussy squeezing him tightly as he buries his cock in me “fuck you’re so tight, taking everything in me not to pound this pretty pussy. Driving me crazy” heachan hisses as he holds me down.

“Shhh” he whispers as I start to whine from lack of movement. His lips latch onto my boobs yet again as he bites onto my nipple softly, his hips lightly bucking into me causing the smallest amount movement. My eyes squeeze shut as he moans with each lap.

“Feels so fucken good” he hisses as my pussy throbs around him “o- oh m-“ I moan as his teeth sink into my skin “feel you throbbing, you gonna cum by me only doing this? Pathetic” he hisses as I start to roll my hips.

“No moving” he growls as he pins my hips down and continues to lap at my tits “o- oh” I squeal as I clench around him, my body shaking at the feeling of his now warm lips scattering kisses onto my chest and neck “always sound so pretty” he whines.

My hands digging into his shoulders as he smiles at the hickeys he left, his body jerking back as my pussy clenches around him again.

“FUCK” he cries as he fills me full of his cum, his hands keeping me pinned onto him as he fills my pussy full “hyuck o- oh my” I pant clinging onto his shoulders.

“You warm enough now?”

[tonicandjins]

find your way back home | lee donghyuck

pairing: lee donghyuck | haechan x female reader

word count: 22.5k

genre: fluff, some mentions of sex, ANGST and nostalgia lots of it, haechan-centric, slow burn

warnings: mentions of sex, excessive drinking, will talk about insomnia and depression

summary: nct’s haechan gets into a scandal after a night of drinking his ass off in hongdae, which prompts the management to put him in an indefinite hiatus. and it’s not like it’s the first time, because over the past months, haechan’s drinking problem had gone worse. hence, his parents send him back to jeju island for some healing time because his parents and managers think that maybe some time home would help. haechan laughs at the thought. if medication can’t, what can jeju island do? besides, he hasn’t been there in literal years.

author's note: this is my favorite work so far, which is why it took this long. i put my heart in here. please let me know which one is your favorite line/scene. this is also very heachan-centric, so please don't expect a lot of the reader's POV. also, may i recommend you to listen to Moon, Be There For You, Never Goodbye by NCT DREAM, Good Person by Haechan himself, and Black Clouds by NCT 127 as you read this! :) TIP ME HERE.

taglist: @mosviqu @matchahyuck @sirens-dreams @sundamariis @lovingvoidgoatee @anjaenha @thiccfullsun @665321-more @hyuckiesoftie @aliceinwhateverland @tddyhyck @anniebyanto @novawona @gimmehyuck @blxshqueen @blitz-fall @byungbyungbaek @calssunflower @funkygoose @carelessshootanonymous-blog @jungwooforever @budibbly @positionslab @beomyomom @jexizia @4everhyucks

disclaimer: names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. i do not claim to own or to have invented any copyrighted characters or concepts that i write about.  

Y/N = your name, Y/C/N = your childhood nickname

Haechan’s dream has always been the spotlight.

His Mother would tell her friends stories of how he would always tell her he’d be a star someday, a grin flashing across his small face on pictures and clips of him taking a stage as small as the podium in his first grade classroom, and would proudly brag that his first-born son made it to the world stage. She was so proud that she’d have his portfolio picture as her display image in her social media accounts. As a musician herself, she’d play NCT’s music out loud and would even go an extra mile by using their b-side songs when teaching their students at their small but proud music academy in the big city of Seoul. Haechan’s pictures are all over the small place they’d rented for their small business, two floors—the vocal lessons facilitated on the second floor and piano and guitar on the ground floor—and the humble husband and wife would proudly say the most successful student they’d ever had was Lee Donghyuck, now better known as Haechan.

Haechan allows her to take credit of it all, his success, because after all, she’d been the one to encourage her to take a chance at SM Entertainment’s infamous Saturday auditions. People tell Haechan he works hard, but nobody really works harder than his Mother. With sheer determination and a passionate heart, his mother would take little Donghyuck to every stage—no matter how small. Young and bright, he remembers being dragged from one contest to another, even when their family still lived in Jeju, and he’d win all of them for her. He’d take the spotlight just to see her happy and proud.

At times, Haechan wonders how much effort his mother had really put into his career. If he thinks about it now, it started with their entire family moving out of Jeju Island, completely uprooting their entire lives from the simple life in the island to give her dream a chance. People say that Haechan was born a star, that SM got lucky to have a child prodigy offer himself—bare and whole and real—who was willing to give up his childhood and education for a shot in the dark. His father had been reluctant about it, saying that they’d have to give up their entire life savings to merely move to Seoul—considering plane tickets and security deposits need to be sent prior to moving—and that taking a loan wouldn’t be ideal when they could barely make ends meet with four children growing up too fast. A shot in the dark, a flip of a coin, the luck of a draw. They say he was meant for this, was meant for the stage and the lights and the applause, but to Haechan, it’s not really fate. It’s just his mother doing all the work, and he’d take the spotlight for her.

Because Haechan likes the attention. He likes the good and the bad. The cheers and the applause. The painful arm slaps from Mark when he’s annoyed him enough. The head pats and hugs Taeil gives him when he’s being cute and when he lives up to his maknae image. The viral videos of him all over the internet for simply walking down the stage.

And his mother couldn’t be prouder to have a reliable son like him. She had always dreamed of the spotlight herself, but the timing was never right for her—hence Haechan living her dream, her spotlight, had been one of, if not the biggest accomplishments of her life.

The night is cold. Haechan feels dizzy when flashes of the lights coming from the small window of the bar’s building hit his face. He hates the lights, he hates being seen, and it makes him throw up when, as soon as he closes his eyes, it’s his mother that he sees.

Would his mother still be so proud when she learns that, after a long weekend of a back to back concert with NCT 127, his son would be getting a blowjob from a stranger at the back of some sleazy bar he had found online?

“Please tell me this isn’t real.”

Mark Lee is only twenty-three, but with how his forehead’s skin is wrinkling, he might as well invest in several sessions of botox shots. He’s holding his phone up to Haechan’s face, as if bringing the device closer to the younger’s eyes would deny the article that Dispatch uploaded at five in the fucking morning.

“I didn’t sleep with her,” Haechan denies, voice bored, tired. “We might have done other things, but I didn’t sleep with her.”

Mark lets out a groan of frustration, throwing his phone behind Haechan, the device landing on the carpeted floor. Haechan doesn’t even flinch even though it almost hit him.

“Haechan, what the fuck is going on, man?” Mark asks, demands to know what really is going on with his best friend, or whoever he’s speaking with now. “You know SM is going to kill you, right?”

Haechan shrugs. “What are they gonna do? Fire me?”

“You know they can!” Mark shouts, walking back and forth while Haechan remains seated on the couch, unbothered. “You’ve seen them do it! To our seniors! To the people you trained with. You think you’re big time, huh? That just because you’re essential in both units, they wouldn’t send you to some dungeon?”

Haechan laughs bitterly. He reckons being placed in a dungeon would be much better than the hell he’s living in now. “Now that,” he mocks. “Would be the ultimate dream.”

“You’re a fucking nightmare,” Mark says, pointing a finger to Haechan, enunciating each syllable so it goes through his skull.

But nothing can really make Lee Haechan budge anymore—not an expensive, hard device laterally thrown to his face, and not even his best friend (if he could still call him that) blatantly showing how disgusted he is with him—and he can’t really blame anyone. It used to he frightening to see Mark angry at something he did. Used to.

Haechan doesn’t really know what to say, so he chuckles bitterly and leans his head back so that it’s against the backrest, pondering whether it’s a good time to drink the bottle of vodka he’s been keeping under his bed.

“It’s funny because I don’t even know what having a nightmare feels like.”

Mark huffs, seemingly had given up on Haechan, then leaves the room alongside the small piece of sanity that the younger had left. Haechan bolts, sitting up real quick, but too slow because Mark is already out of the door. Haechan likes attention, and even though Mark Lee makes his head hurt, he likes the attention. Haechan likes that Mark is angry at him.

His manager calls him next, (as expected) voice angry as if he’s about to explode, and tells him his publicist is doing her very best to answer every god damn call from every magazine and news outlet. But none of those magazine and news outlets who have called had posted something to clear the situation; none of them were buying it. Haechan thinks it’s fucking ridiculous anyway. There were pictures and videos of him sneaking out with Hana or Hari, whatever her name was, and a clip of him zipping his pants up as they try to hide from the flashes of lights. Who the fuck would believe he was just out exploring with his 35-year old, happily-married-with-kids personal assistant?

And it’s too late, anyway, because what was the point of it all when his most loyal and long-time fan sites have all shut down overnight, his Instagram followers reducing down to five million in a matter of hours since Dispatch posted that article, and his best friends blatantly ignoring him with the exception of Mark confronting him, but of course, Haechan had to screw that up, too.

“They’re calling you in for a meeting,” his manager concludes with a sigh after elaborating what had been done to patch up the entire mess. “Be ready for whatever they have to say. Don’t expect me to have your back because I’m over it, Haechan. Whatever they decide to do with you, you fucking deserve it.”

The call ends. Haechan didn’t even get to talk.

He looks at the screen of his phone. There were a million of calls and text messages from his agency, half of it were from his mother, and the last thing he really wants now is to hear her voice. He scrolls through it all, chest tightening when he realizes nobody from Jaemin, Renjun and Jeno had tried to call him. Haechan knows he’s an asshole, deserving to be the receiving end of all the shouting and cussing, and he’s probably made the dumbest mistake of his entire life, but he’d live the stardom’s life long enough, he’d be okay. But a call from his best friends would have been a breather.

Haechan understands, what his manager said, that he shouldn’t really expect anyone to have his back after all that’s transpired in the last few of months.

You see, Haechan developed insomnia. He’d look the symptoms up in the internet, and it’s described as a common sleeping disorder that can make it hard for people to fall asleep, or if one’s attempt to drift off is successful, to stay asleep. Taeyong had said it’s a common disorder for idols, that their seniors from groups like EXO and SHINEE had all gone to psychologists for help, but Haechan didn’t really want to make a big deal out of it. He relied on what Naver offered him one morning when the sun’s already out and his eyes are still wide open.

Stress and anxiety were the major causes. Some resources say it could be from a poor sleeping environment such as an uncomfortable bed or bad lighting or temperature. One claims that it could also be from one’s lifestyle, like jetlag from traveling frequently, or drinking one too many caffeine-infused doses of fluids. It all could be factors why Haechan’s been getting 8-10 hours of sleep a week, and he acknowledges that he doesn’t really have the best lifestyle—and it’s not like he’s ever had the choice since NCT blew up.

So, he’d consulted Taeyong again, through a text, and all he’d gotten was a link to a study that insomnia can be caused by mental health conditions such as depression, followed by his therapist’s phone number.

Among all the causes he’d gathered, Haechan could confidently rule out depression because there’s no fucking way he’s sad. There’s barely any reason to be sad. Sure, he’d miss his siblings most of the time and he hates the feeling of seeing any of them cry whenever he had to leave, but nothing is more gratifying than the relief of seeing them happy whenever he comes home with luxurious gifts or plane tickets to Tokyo for a vacation. Haechan likes making people happy, and Mark tells him he’s always been a people pleaser. At times, he’d think his happiness depends on the happiness of the people he loves and values, and people around him are happy.

Hence, Haechan is happy.

Or at least, was happy.

Because the insomnia got worse—not that Haechan’s dealt with it enough to know whether it’s getting better or worse—but it was bad. He would come home exhausted as fuck after an entire day of dancing and singing, and he knows he’s tired because his body tells him so. Haechan would lie on bed, body drained from all energy, but his eyes would be wide open for an entire night. He’d only fall asleep when the sun’s started to seep through his curtains, a good hour before his manager would wake him for the next schedule. It was manageable, and the tour was a good excuse for the insomnia, but it followed him even on his days off, even in the beginning of the pandemic when there little to zero schedules that would have caused him anxiety or stress.

Therefore, reluctantly, he’d visited a doctor to get a prescription for some meds he could take to help him sleep. He’d lied, though, that it wasn’t that bad and that he would need it only on nights after shows, because he knew they’d only refer him to a therapist. Haechan doesn’t need a therapist. He could just talk to his mother about it, and she’d know what to say to make him feel better. To make him keep going.

It was fine until the melatonin supplements stopped working. Sometime last year, if he remembers right, when he thought he’d gone crazy because everything stopped working for him. There was a bottle of soju, half empty, from the fridge he had in the corner of the room he shared with Johnny, and he reckoned it could help. As soon as the bottle was empty, Haechan felt drowsy; he was out like the light half an hour later.

But just like the prescription from the doctor he can’t even remember the name of, drinking half a bottle worked. Johnny would give him suspicious looks when he would see Haechan stocking up soju inside their room, but he doesn’t ever say anything. Because alcohol made him sleep, until it didn’t. Until half a bottle stopped working. Until an entire bottle is no longer enough. Until Taeyong’s decided that there should be no alcohol inside anyone’s fridge, both fifth and tenth floors.

Hence, the drinking problem.

Haechan wonders what’s next. The sleeping problem, then the drinking problem. It looks like here is it, the next one: the scandal.

When Haechan was a trainee, his greatest fear was getting removed from the agency.

There was an assessment every quarter, and the CEO himself would sit down in a panel alongside other producers and choreographers to identify which of the trainees would move on to another level and which ones would have to go home. Each time they had to go through the assessment, Haechan, alongside other existing members of NCT, would spend long days inside the training room. He would fear that the CEO would ask him to rap all of a sudden because Haechan can’t rap to save his god damn life at that time. He would fear that his mother would receive a call and find out his beloved son, whom she spent so much money on just to get ballet classes, failed and would need to go home.

Today, Haechan fears none of those.

The decision to put him in an indefinite hiatus was quick to make, not that Haechan expected anything less.

The news was out the second they threw him out of the meeting room (but not before the CEO slapping him right across the face, his left cheek throbbing in pain he’s oddly happy he could feel) and his bags were packed before he could even tell his members. The dorms were empty when he arrived, and there was no time to visit Dream’s place; Haechan knew he could just call, or visit. His family lives twenty minutes away, a short ride from downtown. He’d figure it out, like he always would.

What fazes him is what he comes home to.

His father offers him a one-way ticket, says his mother is still too upset to look even at Haechan in the face, that she’s spending the night in her friend’s house. The domestic flight ticket is bound to Jeju Island, and it boards tomorrow morning.

“Your grandmother will be waiting for you,” his father says, eyes everywhere but Haechan’s. “Your mother thinks it would be the best for now. Your agency knows, of course, and they’re helping us ensure you get your privacy in Jeju-do. We just need you to stay there for a bit, Donghyuck. Might help.”

“Dad,” Haechan pleads, Dad sounding foreign to him now. He’s stopped calling him Dad years ago, right before he debuted in NCT, and had been calling him Father. He’s not sure why he’a suddenly calling him that now, perhaps it’s the sinking feeling in his stomach, but Haechan is desperate for another solution. “You can’t send me back in the island. I haven’t lived in grandmother’s house since I was twelve.”

“Don’t act like the place isn’t civilized, Donghyuck,” his father sighs. “You’ll be okay. You can take your expensive gaming laptop with you so you can entertain yourself while you’re on vacation. It’s only going to be a few months.”

“A few months?” Haechan cries. “I can’t live there anymore!”

“The agency decided not to terminate their contract with you,” his father reveals. “Apparently, you’re too talented to let go of. Your mother and I are very grateful they didn’t. All they want in return is for you to go back in six months—sober and full of life again. Your therapist suggests you go to a vacation.”

“I don’t have a therapist?”

“The doctor who prescribed you sleeping pills? You didn’t tell us you had insomnia.”

“Fuck you,” Haechan spits before he could even think about it. “Neither you nor mother thought of asking me what’s been going on. Dad, I wanted you to scold me. To punch me in the fucking gut and tell me I’ve ruined everything. I wanted mother to yell at me until my ear bleeds, so I can find the motivation to work hard and make her happy again.”

“Donghyuck, we–”

“Don’t call me that!” He yells. “The first thing that came to your mind was how grateful you are that I’m not fired from my job? I’m not some retirement plan! I’m your son!”

“Keep it down. Your siblings are–”

”Donghyuck-hyung?” Haechan turns. Gyeom stands at the end of the hallway, seemingly woken up from his slumber, and Dongmin hides behind the younger one to see what’s going on. Haechan doesn’t even see Seungyeon come out of her room. He just hears her door shut loudly, the lock clicking, and realize he fucked up big time.

He takes a look at the ticket from his father’s hand.

It’s ridiculous. If the melatonin pills he’s taking are not helping with his stupid insomnia, and drinking a bottle of soju works as equally as useless, what the fuck could work? They think a recreational vacation to fucking Jeju Island would do shit?

Fuck his parents, honestly.

Fuck his siblings for not even giving him a hug as soon as he entered their home.

Fuck his members for not checking up on him.

Fuck the entire god damn world.

He rips the ticket from his father’s hand and turns to leave, taking the same bags he’d brought in a few minutes ago. The flight is tomorrow morning, but Haechan calls a taxi to take him to the airport.

Sleeping (or at least, trying to) in the uncomfortable airport seats is a fucking pain in the ass, literally. But nothing more hurts than the look on his family’s face: the blankness in his father’s and the fright from his siblings.

Jeju fucking Island. Way to end the day.

When Haechan was younger, his grandmother would take him to the Camellia Hills on the weekends. While kids his age would be taken in Aqua Planet to see thousands of animals and plant species to ease their shoulders from studies, Haechan would be running around fields of camellia and hydrangea flowers. They would spend hours just walking around trees of over five hundred different kinds of wildflowers. His grandmother would take pictures of him and let him eat whatever he wanted at a nearby restaurant, and his siblings would always cry and complain why Nana only wanted to bring Haechan. There wasn’t a particular reason, of course, it was only because the younger ones were too difficult for their grandmother to look after on a trip to Camellia Hill. Little Donghyuckie was well-behaved albeit his bold and obnoxious nature. He would do whatever his Nana would ask him.

Haechan’s always claimed that he’s the favorite despite his grandmother repeatedly saying she doesn’t do favorites, and he knows deep in his heart that he is. He is, after all, the first grandchild, and he spent a lot of time with his Nana alone for many years while they were in Jeju.

His grandmother used to sing him to sleep at night. When his younger sister was born, Nana stayed with them in Seoul for a while to help his parents adjust to having two kids, considering Haechan’s age gap with Seungyeon is only a year. Nana made sure Haechan slept well every night, in a separate room from his parents because newborn Seungyeon who wouldn’t let anyone sleep past one in the morning. She’d sing him songs from The Beatles in broken English, and Haechan likes to think that even though both his parents were musicians, the reason why he could sing well was his Nana.

She eventually had to move back to Jeju Island as soon as the family had settled, but years later, at the age of seven, his grandfather died and Nana was left all alone to tend to their land and business, hence the Lee family packed their bags to stay at Nana’s supposedly for the summer, but ended up with the decision of staying for her.

Nana had problems sleeping when his grandfather died. Haechan used to find her awake when he’d need a glass of water or to go to the toilet at two in the morning. She’d be watching television, a nighttime talk show she used to like, or reading a book from his grandfather’s shelf. The lights in her home were always on.

So, Haechan started singing her to sleep just like how she did when he was a child.

She’d tell him, “Oh, my Donghyuckie, you have such a nice voice. Why don’t you sing more?”

Then she’d fall asleep while Haechan wondered why lovers die at different times, why one has to go first and the other is left on Earth trying to sleep well every night.

Upon his arrival in Jeju-do, his grandmother doesn’t pick him up from the airport like he’d expected, so he takes a taxi from the airport to her house. Haechan knows what their home looks like despite not visiting since his training days. They own a small hectare of land filled with tangerine trees, and his grandmother had been the sole operator of it all for many years until she had to start hiring people here and there to manage things for her when her age caught up with her. His father used to travel back and forth to see how things are here and there, but eventually stopped when Nana had found people she can rely on—which Haechan is very glad about.

He must be an asshole, or a prick, or a hypocrite to even say this but he’s been thinking about her more often than he calls. If he recalls right, the last time he’d called was three months ago, on her birthday, but it was two-minute exchange of generic how are yous and please stay healthys. She would call, of course, but Haechan would always have something as an excuse: a dance practice, a trip to Japan for a show, a photoshoot, something. Something to cover up the fact that he hasn’t been the best grandson to her in a long time.

He arrives and the first thing he notices is a hammock hanging in between the posts of her patio. A kick of nostalgia hits him because grandfather put up a hammock at the back of their home once, when Haechan was around five years old and they were visiting the couple for the summer. Her grandmother used to tell Haechan that the hammock is the best place to take his afternoon naps, hence little Donghyuck would spend most of his afternoons lying on a hammock made of strong nylon.

Shaking off the nostalgia, Haechan clears his throat. “Nana! I’m home!”

“Donghyuckie, is that you?” she calls from somewhere. Haechan walks over to the patio and drops his bags.

Nana comes out from the side of the house, her favorite pink apron on, grey hair hidden by a hair cap. “Oh, sweetheart.”

Haechan sees her age simply by the way she stands. Her back is hunched more than it was the last time he saw her during Chuseok last year. The wrinkles in the edges of her eyes and around her mouth are much more evident. The skin on her neck is loose, and so is the skin on her arms and everywhere.

For a second, Haechan feels like he’s seven again, seeing her for the first time since summer, her eyes not as happy as they were from the last time they’d been in Jeju-do, when grandfather was still alive. Haechan suddenly is taken back to when she’d hug him so, so tightly, crying to his shoulder, telling him harabeoji had left her while she was asleep. He remembers his heart dropping down to the ground when he saw her breaking down, his loving grandmother—who was always bright and happy, whom people would say he got his personality from—at her lowest. It’s the same wave of sadness Haechan feels looking at her now—looking at the years painted in her skin. Her memories blurring out the color of her eyes. Decades of hard work and labor tainted on the callouses on her fingers. Glints of loneliness spread throughout the wrinkles on her face.

Haechan has been all over the world for years now. Years of training and sleepless nights perfecting a performance had led him to where he is now. People who speak different languages love him and cheer for him even with countries and continents in between. He’s made millions happy by simply singing songs or saying hi in a fan call. And while he’s done of all of these, what had he done for his grandmother? People have been watching him grow up, who was watching Nana all this time?

Haechan chokes on his own tears. His grandmother, his Nana, opens her arms like Haechan is not the person the world hates right now. She hugs him like Haechan is not the person who had potentially ruined the group his best friend Mark had worked hard on. She holds him in her arms like Haechan is not the person who scared his siblings and cursed his own father. Nana takes him inside her home like he’s her Donghyuck again.

Haechan feels like he’s her Donghyuckie again.

Contrary to popular belief, Donghyuck doesn’t like affection as much as Haechan does.

He believes that being offered tenderness is the very proof that you’ve been ruined, and Haechan likes to think that with the life he has now, he’s not really in the position to talk about his life’s struggles. Because there are more people in the world who deserves to talk about their pain. Donghyuck doesn’t deserve as much.

Hence, the nostalgia goes away as quickly as it arrives. Haechan spends the rest of the day trying to sleep in his grandmother’s spare room and doesn’t even bother answering when his grandmother knocked on his door to invite him for lunch despite him being wide awake.

Haechan gets up at five in the afternoon, just when the sun is about to set, eyes heavy. The sky looks a lot like the color of his own skin, he notices, and he thinks about how beautiful the sky would be in Han River and recalls how him and Mark (and sometimes Doyoung) would lie on the ground, letting their skin soak in the sun slowly sinking down to its rest.

But none of that is close to happening because he’s here. In Jeju-do. Stuck like some twelve-year old sent to camp for an entire summer because his parents can’t stand him.

Haechan’s train of (bitter) thoughts is interrupted with a loud plonk from the wooden patio, which is right outside his window. He pulls his curtains slightly to peek, and he finds you on the floor on your side, groaning like a kid and massaging your back. It looks like you’d just fallen out of the hammock.

Curious, Haechan gets up and quickly slips out of his room to see you on their front porch.

“And Nana says it’s the most comfortable place to sleep on,” he hears you mumble as you get up, eyes meeting his as soon as you see him. Your eyes widen in shock, probably recognizing him, but you quickly catch yourself and look down.

“You are?” Haechan asks, towering over you.

You clear your throat. “Y/N.”

“I don’t mean your name, pumpkin,” he replies. “What do you do here?”

Haechan smirks at the way one of your eyebrows raised, clearly already infuriated at his attitude. You’re wearing a white shirt that’s too big for you underneath your denim overalls. The pair of boots sitting under the hammock is a clear sign that you’re a farmer tending to the tangerine trees on the land right beside the house, separated by a fence and his grandmother’s home garden.

“I manage your grandmother’s land,” you answer, stance defensive. “And it looks like you’re the delinquent grandson they sent away for the summer?”

Haechan chuckles, liking how you’re bark and bite, wondering how far he can push you, because the last thing he really wants is someone staying at his grandmother’s house. Too close. Too easy to see everything. You’d make millions selling him to the tabloids. He’d honestly rather hear people saying how much of an asshole he is, than have people invading his grandmother’s privacy while he’s here.

“You mean the world star, right?” he brags, licking his upper lip. “And you manage the land we own? Sounds a lot like a farmer to me.”

You stifle a laugh. You’re not at all intimidated. “Oh, pumpkin, I think the last thing you’d want to do in Jeju-do is insult a farmer for their job. The agricultural structure of Jeju Island has done more than you thrusting your hips up on the air for young, easily-manipulated teenage girls, Donghyuck.”

“So, you know my name?”

You click your tongue and turn around, proceeding to slip your boots back on. “How could I not know?”

“Because I’m a world star, right. How could you not know?”

Haechan watches you tie the laces up of your boots. You don’t give him another glance and leave, stomping your feet down the stairs to the ground until you’re out of his sight.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Nana says from inside. The door is wide open. “Where’s Y/N?”

She walks towards where Haechan stands, looking around for you. “That girl. I told her to stay for dinner. What’d you do, Donghyuck-ah?”

“Nothing,” he mumbles, annoyed at how Nana is more concerned about you leaving than ensuring his privacy. He’s a star, for god’s sake. “Why’d you let her sleep here, anyway? And have her stay for dinner? Aren’t you scared she might sell me off to some magazine for, I don’t know, one million won?”

“Why would Y/N sell you—“ his grandmother sighs. “Not everyone is out to get you, Donghyuck-ah.”

“Why does she even know my birth name?” he questions. “That’s like, too much, Nana. Don’t share things like that.”

His grandmother slaps his arm. “Ow! What’d you do that for?”

“You’re a moron!” she screeches. “That was Y/N! She waited for you to wake up all day!”

“That’s creepy!”

“Y/C/N,” Nana enunciates. Haechan remembers. “Her childhood nickname. Does it ring a bell?”

“Y/N—” he breathes out. Frozen. “—is Y/C/N?”

Haechan has always had an affinity with flowers, long before he named his fans sunflowers.

His grandparents had a larger flower garden as compared to how it is now. They’d planted tangerine trees in place of the fields of beautiful red azalea and rhododendron blossoms. On spring days, the cherry blossoms were infinite, and little Donghyuck used to spend a lot of time looking at the flowers and making necklaces out of them.

You used to (still do, perhaps) live down the street, and your parents used to help out in the farm when your grandparents needed another pair of hands to harvest the tangerines. Little Donghyuck met you when he was six.

If he recalls it right, it was the second day of summer, a hundred something days before they had to return back to Seoul. He found you lying under a cherry blossom tree, eyes closed, allowing hundreds of pink petals to drown you in their beauty. Little Donghyuck lied down beside you, upside-down but his head is right beside yours. He’s always been a curious kid, so he wanted to know why you were letting the pink petals rain on you. There was nothing special about it. Just petals falling when the wind blows a certain direction.

When he opened his eyes, you turn to look at him, your eyebrows were furrowed the way they were when Haechan found you on the floor of his patio earlier, right after you’d fallen from the hammock.

“Hey,” you had said. “You’re the kid from Nana’s house, right?”

“She’s my Nana,” he corrected, closing his eyes once again. “And yes, I’m the kid from Nana’s house. You are?”

“My mom calls me Y/C/N,” you answered. “Are you staying for the summer?”

He nodded. “Only for the summer. We’re leaving before school starts.”

“Do you like flowers?” you asked.

“We don’t have a lot of flowers in Seoul,” Little Donghyuck mumbled. “But I love flowers. Last summer, Nana took me to Camellia Hills to see the flowers bloom in May.”

“Then you should stay,” you trailed off. “If you love flowers and Seoul doesn’t offer much, then you should stay.”

“What about school?” Donghyuck had asked, opening his eyes to look at you. You’re looking at him, upside-down and all. Donghyuck’s never seen someone more beautiful. “You’re pretty.”

Your eyes widened. You immediately hide your face from him using your hands. “We’re only five. I can’t have a boyfriend at five years old.”

“Maybe when we’re older.”

Haechan doesn’t remember much from the day you met, but he got close to you during that summer in 2006, even more when his family moved back to Jeju-do in 2007. Your friendship blossomed from walking together in first grade throughout primary school until he’d graduated and eventually moved back to Seoul.

He can’t believe that he’d forgotten your name, and a part of him knows it’s because he’s always called you by your childhood nickname, but a larger part of him likes to think that it’s because he’s almost twenty-three now—it’s been almost ten years. He’s met probably thousands of people at this point, and with the lifestyle he has, he really can’t afford to remember each person he spends time with. Not even the girl he spent his entire childhood in Jeju-do with.

So, Haechan forgives himself before he could ask for yours. He reckons you’d understand. You know him, somehow. You kept in touch until Haechan got into SM in 2013 and high school and training got the best of him. He changed his number and lost contact with almost everyone in Jeju-do, even his closest friends, and you were one them.

Life as a singer means Haechan had to sacrifice a lot of things.

Most people know an idol sacrifices having a normal life—playing in the streets, trying out to be a part of the basketball team, dating at fifteen years old, prom, staying at one classmate’s house for a group project—and it includes forgetting the people you used to be close with.

One of the rules in SM when he was a trainee was to not get in touch with the people from their past. One of their managers used to tell them that their lives are divided into two parts: before training and after training; and to be successful in the industry means to forget who you were before training. They’d deleted all of his social media, which means he disconnected from the people he knew before he was Haechan. They’d deleted who he was before Haechan.

Many sacrifices, indeed. The list goes on, and at the end of it was your name.

“She never left Jeju-do?” Haechan asks, curious, as he ate the dinner Nana made for him. “Like not even for college?”

“She didn’t go to college at all,” Nana answers. “And she likes it here. Why do you make staying in Jeju-do sound like a living hell?”

Haechan shrugs. “It’s not like that, Nana. I mean, God knows what I’d do to get a normal life and go to college in Seoul and do what normal people in their early twenties do.”

Nana smiles at him. “This is probably what normal is for her. Not everyone has big dreams like you.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Haechan asks. “Dreams are free. It doesn’t cost anything to dream. Why wouldn’t people want to have big dreams?”

“Aren’t you the lucky one to have a dream and to be able to live your dream?” Nana says. She finishes up her meal and watches Haechan eat. “How are you, Donghyuck-ah?”

Haechan stops chewing and braces himself. Nobody’s asked him how he is. He continues chewing like it’s not a question that’s been weighing him under.

“I’m okay,” he answers, mouth full of food. “They didn’t fire me. So, I guess I should be grateful. I’m okay.”

“You know that you don’t have to lie to Nana, right?” She asks, smile kind and warm.

And Haechan wants to say it all. Out loud. Maybe even cry.

But he is not about to let his grandmother carry his burdens with her. Burdens that shouldn’t even matter because he’s so lucky to have the life he has now. Burdens that are nothing compared to other people’s.

“Come on, Donghyuck-ah,” she urges. “Talk to Nana. Tell me what’s wrong, my dear.”

“Halmeoni,” he firmly says. “I said I’m okay. I’m tired. Thank you for the meal.” He bows and stands to leave.

Life has a singer means Haechan had to sacrifice a lot, indeed.

Nana leaves a box of things Haechan would need while he’s in Jeju-do before her trusted chauffeur takes her to the town’s market for some business.

Haechan finds himself wearing the same fit as you the day before: a pair of overalls, an old, non-branded shirt that looks like it’s been worn and washed 300 times. Nana left a list of chores to do, and there’s no way Haechan is doing all of those. He’s taking a walk around the fields, supervise like how the owner’s grandson should, bask on the sunlight for a bit, then go back to his room and play some games with strangers online.

You’re waiting by the patio, sitting and looking at the opposite direction so he only sees your back, when Haechan comes out, dressed up for the role but not ready for whatever today brings him.

“Took you long enough,” you grumble as he steps out of the house. You stand and turn to look at him. “Lock the door and let’s get going. You’re late on your first day.”

“Chill out, sweet cheeks,” he scoffs, reaching behind the door and locking it before slamming it shut. “You’re not the boss of me.”

You nod, chuckling. “I’m not. But your grandmother is. And she added your list to the name of workers joining us to harvest today. You will be paid by the hour.”

Haechan gasps lightly in disbelief. “I don’t need to work. We own this place.”

“Hmm,” you hum, feigning curiosity as you tap your index finger to your chin as if you’re thinking hard. “You know I manage this whole place, right? Which means I also manage its taxes and permits annually. I’ve never seen your name in any of the papers I play with every day.”

“Same fucking thing,” he mumbles, walking past you to reach the gate. Haechan finds two horses waiting for him outside. He turns, ready to ask you what kind of joke you’re pulling on him, but he finds you going around the house, perhaps to make sure everything’s locked and all. You catch up on him, eyebrows raised when he points to the horses.

“Don’t tell me you can’t ride a horse,” you ask, seemingly in disbelief that someone like him isn’t capable of riding a horse. “You can’t work in the fields just walking. You’ll tire yourself out and will waste most of your working hours just walking.”

“I—I’m really not—” Haechan falters for a second, but comes back as quickly as he goes. “It’s been years since the last time I rode a horse. I’m not certain if I can do that now.” You give him a questioning look. “Besides. I’m a celebrity if you haven’t noticed it already. What if I break a bone?”

“You’ll live.”

“What if I fall and break my face?”

“Seoul has the best plastic surgeons.”

“My legs! They were injured before. I can’t afford to get another injury!”

“You’ll be fine. You’re such a drama queen.”

“I’m a star!”

At that, you burst out into a fit of laughter, the kind that Haechan would normally join in, because what he just said is truly ridiculous. He can’t believe he said that himself. But, of course, he can’t just laugh with, basically, a stranger.

“Oh my God, Lee Donghyuck,” you say in between laughter.

Something ignites something in him, the way you just said his name.

Haechan is a name he loves, an alter-ego he adores, a character he lives. Full sun, because that’s what he wants to be. He wants to bring light to everyone looking up to him, and he wants to be remembered by the way his voice warms the entire planet. He loves hearing cheers and applause when he introduces himself as Haechan. Because Haechan is talented. Haechan is an ace, an all-rounder who can do anything an idol is expected to do, perhaps even more. Haechan is bright and positive, and he likes making people laugh and at the same time uncomfortable of the influx of skinship he offers. Haechan loves the lights and cameras on stage, and he adores the way his name is in every city he goes to.

Meanwhile, Lee Donghyuck, he’s heard in a million times. Mark still calls him Donghyuck like they never aged since 2013, even Doyoung and Jeno. His parents seldom call him Haechan, never for Nana. His fans also have been calling him Donghyuck since they learned his birth name is Donghyuck, sometimes Hyuck or Hyuckie, which he finds really endearing.

Yet no one’s ever called him his name like he’s nothing but just Lee Donghyuck. Not for a long time. Not from someone before Haechan.

Donghyuck suddenly feels like he’s twelve again, the year he left Jeju-do and had to say goodbye to all of his friends with a promise to keep in touch and to never forget. Donghyuck finds himself looking at the way you’re laughing, how you have your eyes closed, mouth agape and melodies of your amusement coming out like a song he thought he’d forgotten but know all the words to, and he finds himself thinking, maybe being Lee Donghyuck isn’t so bad.

His first day at the farm didn’t go as quick as expected and if Donghyuck could say so himself, it’s the longest fucking day in his entire life.

Evidently, he couldn’t ride a horse to save his life. He doesn’t even know why he’d told you it’s been a long time when the only time he ever rode a horse was when he was eleven for a field trip and only to take a god damn picture to make his mother smile. You and him were only a couple of horse steps or whatever away from Nana’s home and his horse was already squirming and more like threatening to throw him ten meters away, hence, you begrudgingly offered to have him ride with you. Donghyuck didn’t decline, of course, because it was either walk around the place under the hot sun or die at the hands of a stupid horse. You had let him sit behind you, skillfully and impressively holding the other horse by its rope, Donghyuck’s arms reluctantly wrapped around your waist because he didn’t want to fall, and if you were uncomfortable, you didn’t say anything about it.

You had taken him to a tour within his grandparents’ land, and Donghyuck is already twenty-three when he realized his grandparents are big time, like for real. The land isn’t as big as the others, ones that are owned by a big corporation, people who aren’t even from Jeju-do but like to play agricultural monopoly, but it’s bigger than most. Nana was too humbled when she’d told him the night before that he would need to help out in their “small” business.

The business is nowhere near small, with hundreds of tangerine trees scattered around, blooming in the famous Jeju-do delicacy, and she had forty to fifty employees working for her.

“Not really like full-time employees,” you had explained when Donghyuck verbalized his surprise with the number of people working for the farm. “Normally, it’s just me and Nana and a few other people who handle the delivery, quality assurance, and sales in the farmer’s market, which I’d need to take you to tomorrow, and also some folks from Seoul who handle the cargo shipping to the cities. But when it’s harvest season, we really would need more than ten pairs of hands to help out.”

“So, like, all year, there’s only around ten people are here,” Donghyuck confirmed, hands still on your waist as the horse came to a stop. “And on harvest season, Nana hires more people to help out. That’s really nice. Could be a good summer job for students and all.”

You hummed in agreement, patting the horse that Donghyuck learned you named as Daisy. “But normally, you’d find older people working here instead of the younger ones.”

“Oh?” Donghyuck’s curious. “That’s a little odd. I mean, isn’t the job physically tiring?”

You shrugged. “The elderly, well, they don’t really have a lot of opportunities to work here, you know, considering that Jeju-do has become more of like a tourist island than a self-sufficient, thriving agricultural place. You’ve probably heard of the water park they’d built nearby the airport and other big corporations taking over and building their stores here and there. And of course, they’d most likely hire younger people who can relate to the Korean Wave your group caused, right?”

“Keeping tabs?”

You scoffed at that. “As if! Now, get down before I ask Daisy to wiggle her ass and throw you off.”

After the supposed short tour that took an hour because, well, their land is enormous, you take him where some of the elderly people are harvesting.

“This is Donghyuck,” you’d introduced. “Nana’s grandson from Seoul. He’ll be helping us today. So, halmeoni, don’t even think about getting him off the hook because he’s Nana’s grandson. He will be paid for the day like everyone else. You wouldn’t want someone to get paid the same, only to work half of what you do, right?”

The older women laughed at the way you’d introduced him, and he feels his heart swell with the way you’re laughing with them and how they looked at him with so much tenderness. And normally, Donghyuck doesn’t like the look of tenderness, especially when directed to him, but today, it felt warm. Warmth like never before.

“You grew up so handsome, Donghyuck-ah,” one of the women said. “But I thought you’d be taller, you know. You had such long limbs when you were younger.”

Donghyuck feigned offense, clutching his chest. “Ahjumma, you should’ve stopped at the word handsome.”

“Tangerines ripen earlier than other citruses, so they can escape damage from freezes that will harm midseason varieties such as grapefruit and sweet oranges. Most varieties will be ready for picking during the winter and early spring, although the exact tangerine harvest time depends on the cultivar and region,” you explain, following the lead while Donghyuck and two other guys around yours and his age trail behind you. He apparently needs some training before he can start working.

“How do we know if they’re ready to be picked?” Joohyuk, one of the part-timers, ask.

You will know it’s about harvest time for tangerines when the fruit is a good shade of orange and begins to soften a bit. This is your chance to do a taste test,” you answer, stopping to show an abundant tangerine tree. You pick one out and show it to Donghyuck and the rest. “Cut the fruit from the tree at the stem with hand pruners. If after your taste test the fruit has reached its ideal juicy sweetness, proceed to snip other fruit from the tree with the hand pruners.”

You proceed to show them how it’s cut and hand them a piece each. Donghyuck likes that the fruit is sweet, not sour.

The ahjummas find your group and start handing baskets to Donghyuck and the guys, telling them they’d guide them all throughout.

He found himself spending the rest of the morning getting to know the people harvesting tangerines and making them laugh like it’s his job. He learned all their names one by one, their families briefly, and what they used to do before they retired. By the time it’s lunch, Donghyuck was about to say goodbye and perhaps ask you to take him back to his house, the group from the other side of the farm joined their area, all packed with bags of lunch.

They asked him to join, of course, but Donghyuck refused, in respect of their time to relax and take a break, and asked if you could take him home instead. You agreed, of course, mumbling that you would also need to go home to feed your dog.

“I’ll pick you up at 1:15,” you say as soon as Donghyuck lands on his feet. “Don’t sleep, please. The ahjummas will be expecting you. It’ll be a lot hotter, so drench your celebrity skin with twice the amount of sunscreen you’d normally use.”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck responds, itching to say thank you, but not enough to actually say it. He rubs Daisy’s neck instead. “You—I, okay.”

“O-kay,” you nod and whistle to signal Daisy to turn and walk the other way.

Nana waits for him by the patio. “How was your first day?”

“It’s not even over yet,” he sighs, slumping his butt on one of the patio’s stairs. “Nana, I can’t believe you’re making me work while I’m on vacation.”

“Your father never said anything about a vacation,” she responds, smiling as she struggles to sit beside him. Donghyuck helps her. “You’re here for some time away from work, right?”

“Yeah, a vacation,” he emphasizes.

Nana reaches to move the fringe covering a part of his eyes. “Let’s call this your healing time. But I wouldn’t call it a vacation because a vacation for you only means playing computer games until the sun rises then sleeping all day.”

“You should stop talking to Seungyeon about me,” he mumbles, looking sideways to find his grandmother looking at him lovingly. “And I don’t only play computer games. I also listen to a lot of music.”

“Try not to think about the limelight while you’re here,” she says. “The farm needs some help now. And it’s the best time for you to learn about the family business in case you don’t make it back in Seoul.” Donghyuck groans, burying his face in his hands, and Nana laughs at him. “That’s a possibility you should be considering, Donghyuck-ah.”

“Nana, you’re making me feel worse,” he whines. “You just told me not to think about the limelight, how can I not when you just said what you said!”

“I’m only joking,” she admits. “No one is ever going to take the limelight away from you, Donghyuck-ah, even if they try. You were born for the stage, and I know it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Donghyuck looks up at her. “Is it bad that it’s all I want?”

Nana shakes her head and offers a kind smile. “Having a dream like yours is never bad, Donghyuck-ah. I know that eventually you’d have to leave and go back to where you really belong: the limelight. But all I’m saying is, stepping out of the light isn’t as bad as you think it is.”

“Right.”

“Tell me how it was in the farm.”

“The ladies love me,” he chuckles. “I’m quite popular even in the small villages of Jeju-do, aren’t I?”

“You sure are,” she agrees. “They’ve been asking about you for a long time. Looks like your Nana isn’t the only one who missed you.”

“How come they still remember me?” he asks before he can think about it. “I mean, I’m sorry, but I’ve forgotten about most people here. They still remember how I used to play around and sing for small events.”

It’s true. It caught him by surprise that the workers still remembered him—and not only because he’s a celebrity now, but they remember him by the small, insignificant happenstances when he was younger. Like for example, one of them mentioned how he was once was injured, his pinky finger to be exact, because he was running like a madman when his mother had given him permission to go play computer games with his cousin. He doesn’t remember that person being there, but he knows his grandmother talked about it like it was a news about a hurricane hitting Seoul at that time it happened.

It makes Donghyuck wonder how many people remember him, and how many people he’d forgotten and left behind for his dreams.

“Our world here in Jeju-do is small,” Nana explains. “People like you, who left, well, while ours remain humble and small, while we fade into the background and slowly become insignificant, yours become bigger. So, while we remember, you forget, slowly, one by one—and nobody blames you for forgetting, Donghyuck-ah.”

Oh, look. Another burden, another truth that Donghyuck has to carry for the rest of his life. Another reason not to fall asleep tonight.

There is a small, local store located down the road from his grandmother’s house. They don’t sell nearly half the number the ones local convenience stores in Seoul would, but Donghyuck likes to think it’ll do. Soju and beer taste the same anyway, regardless of where he buys it.

With the faint, beaten yellow paint from its exterior, the store has been around even before Donghyuck was born. It’s the village’s very own convenience store, after all. There weren’t any rival stores like how it would look like in Seoul where every corner of every street one would find a convenience store. From where Donghyuck stands, the store doesn’t like look like it’s changed much in a decade.

For some reason, Donghyuck remembers how much Renjun likes reading neuroscience studies for fun. He doesn’t know anyone else who would read neuroscience studies. For fun. But anyway, back to his point, there was a neuroscience study that Renjun has been blabbing about during their US tour. It was something about when someone recalls an old memory, a representation of the entire event is instantaneously reactivated in the brain that often includes the people, location, smells, music, and other trivia. Recalling old memories can have a cinematic quality. Memories often seem to play out in the mind's eye like an old Super 8 home movie or vintage Technicolor film. Neuroscientists discovered that when someone tries to remember a singular aspect of an event from his or her past—such as a recent birthday party—that a complete representation of the entire scene is reactivated in the brain like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle coming together to create a vivid recollection. The new research reveals that humans remember life events using individual threads, that are coupled together into a tapestry of associations.

Donghyuck’s never really understood what Renjun meant at that time, except now.

He stands there, a good ten-meter distance from where you’re sitting. The pavement on the sidewalk isn’t the most comfortable place to sit in, but Donghyuck thinks it might just be, with how comfortable and at peace you look: legs stretched out to the street, headphones covering your ears, a book (or a journal perhaps, Donghyuck can’t see well from here) in one of your hands while the other is twirling a pen.

The scene takes him back to ten years ago, in the exact same place where you’re sitting, and if Donghyuck thinks about it now, it seems like nothing’s really change—except he’s almost twenty-three now, and despite him standing a few meters away from you, it feels like you and him are worlds away. And from what it looks like, you still love writing as much as Donghyuck loves singing.

It was a warm evening in May 2013, a couple of weeks before school ended and summer would officially start, counting down the nights when Donghyuck would have to move back to Seoul, and it was way too hot for Donghyuck’s liking. Nana didn’t have an air-conditioning system yet; his father was working hard to get her one before they leave for Seoul because summers can be crazy hot in Jeju-do. And Donghyuck needed a popsicle so bad, otherwise, he’d probably explode.

He found you the same place where you are now. Donghyuck thought your SHINEE shirt looked cute because while girls your age liked the newly debuted EXO, you still listened to SHINEE like a religion. You were sitting with your legs sprawled on the street, right under the streetlight, a pen in one hand and your old, beaten up journal on the other. Your eyebrows were furrowed, and Donghyuck caught himself before he could start thinking about how pretty you looked like that: focused and doing what you loved.

Donghyuck decided not to disrupt your focus and opted to go straight inside the small store, spending the last of his money on yours and his favorite: lime and cherry twin popsicle—the kind that’s packaged in one, two flavors in one, lime green and cherry red colors separated in the middle between popsicle sticks. Lime for you, cherry for him. You didn’t look up when he sat beside you, but took the lime-flavored popsicle from his hand when he handed it to you after peeling off the plastic cover and breaking it into two.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, taking the ice-cold treat in your mouth. Donghyuck couldn’t help but think his cherry-flavored popsicle resembled the color of your lips.

Donghyuck nodded his thoughts away, leaning in to peak at the page you’re working on. “What are you working on?” he asked it while the popsicle rested on one side of his mouth, his left cheek protruding.

You shrugged, taking the popsicle off your mouth, showing your work to him. Donghyuck found it endearing that you write all over the pages of your journals, it was as though he could see your train of thoughts: some smudged, some erased under ink but not really because he could still read through it, some clear as day, some to never see daylight again.

“I was in Science class today,” you started.

“We’re in the same homeroom, dumbass. I was there.”

“I’m talking,” you whined. “And I doubt you were even listening. You hate Science more than anything.”

“Fair point,” he hummed. “Okay, what about Science class? Please don’t tell me you’ll start writing about Science. Because I’m so sorry. I’ll never read any of your work ever again if you decide to do that.”

You laughed, the melody of your fondness of his jokes creating its own room inside the crevices of Donghyuck’s brain. “Teacher Kim was talking about symbiosis.”

“I’m not even going to pretend I know what that means.”

“Symbiosis is a term describing any relationship or interaction between two dissimilar organisms. The specific kind of symbiosis depends on whether either or both organisms benefit from the relationship,” you continued. “Butterflies and flowers, they are the best examples of symbiosis.”

Donghyuck nodded, savoring the sweetness of his cherry-flavored treat.

“Hence I did some research and read more about butterflies and flowers, and I read something a little sad,” you trailed off. “I learned that certain flowers bloom when butterflies hatch and depends on how they match each other. Butterflies, they prefer light-colored flowers they can perch on. So, when the timing is off, the flower misses the butterfly. The butterfly, therefore, finds another flower.”

“Then what happens to the flower?” Donghyuck asked, watching as you try to catch the melting piece off your popsicle, taking it back to your mouth. Your lips looked really pretty. “If it misses all the timing?”

“Well,” you shrugged, looking up to the night sky. The stars in Jeju-do that night were much prettier than it is in Seoul. “They bloom again next year, and hope that maybe next time, the timing is better. That the butterfly arrives just in time for the flowers to bloom.

“That is a little sad,” Donghyuck acknowledged. He watched you look back down, grimacing a little as you take the popsicle off your mouth. “Wanna try mine?” he asked before he could think about it.

You looked back at him. The stars in Jeju-do turned out to be nothing compared to your eyes. “Yeah?”

Donghyuck pulled the sweet treat from his mouth just as you hand him your lime-flavored one. He took it in his mouth, and Donghyuck had never been the biggest fan of anything sour, but for some reason, the lime flavor tasted sweeter than ever. You took his cherry-flavored ones, groaning in delight as you taste the treat’s sweetness.

“Cherry has always been my favorite,” you’d confessed, and Donghyuck was surprised because you’d always gotten the lime-flavored ones. The twin pops were your thing since you met summer of 2006—it was cheap, practical for two kids, two-in-one; you’d always choose the lime ones. “God, this is good.”

“You literally always take the lime ones,” he argued. “My whole life has been a lie. I’ve always thought lime was your favorite because you always take it whenever we get this!”

You shrugged. “You never liked anything sour,” you said like it’s the easiest thing to say, like it didn’t make Donghyuck’s heart somersault. “And I can take a little bit of sourness if it means you enjoy your cherry-flavored popsicle.”

Donghyuck was only twelve. He didn’t know anything about falling in love, but that night might just be the closest thing.

“So, you drink alcohol to help you fall asleep?” you ask as if it’s the most interesting solution to insomnia. Donghyuck thinks it isn’t; he’s read somewhere online that alcohol really helps. “That’s stupid.”

Donghyuck shrugs. “It’s not really working great right now. But it helps.”

He sits beside you on the sidewalk, legs sprawled out just like yours, a can of cold beer one hand while the other holds him up, flat on the rough pavement. There’s no particular reason why Donghyuck’s talking to you now. You and him got off the wrong foot, and it’s not like you can really blame Donghyuck for seeing a (supposed) stranger sleeping at his grandmother’s patio. And you were friends. Even though it’s been years, Donghyuck reckons talking to you would do no harm. Besides, if he’s staying here for a few months, a companion would probably make it less miserable.

“And your father thinks coming to Jeju-do would help, too?” you ask.

Donghyuck chuckles. “I guess you could say that. What else have you heard about me?”

You look at him, away from the street and right into his eyes. Donghyuck wonders why he didn’t recognize you the first time he saw you. Your face looks the same from the day he bid you goodbye a decade ago—lips colored in cherry, eyes bright as the stars, cheeks soft all over.

“A lot,” you answer. “But I’ve never been one to believe in rumors anyway.”

Donghyuck licks his lips. “The rumors are true.”

“Not about the sleeping around and getting drunk, pabo,” you mutter. “That, I believe.”

“Which ones?” he asks.

“People are saying you no longer like being on stage,” you say. It’s not the first time Donghyuck’s heard it. “That you’ve been burnt out from working all these years. And that you don’t care about music anymore.”

Donghyuck snickers. “That’s true, too.” He throws his head back, chugging on the cold beer. “I’m so over it. I don’t even care what happens after this.”

“Oh, Donghyuckie,” you whisper softly, eyes still glued to his face. “What has the limelight done to you?”

Donghyuck only shrugs, finishing off the rest of the cold beer, helping himself up and taking the plastic bag full of iced cold beer from the store.

“I don’t think that’s something you should be worried about,” Donghyuck says. You keep your eyes on him, so you’re looking up from where you’re seated and Donghyuck looks down on you. “It’s getting late. Wanna go drink at Nana’s?”

“Nana would kill you if she finds alcohol inside her house,” you say.

“I’ve snuck in about twenty bottles since I arrived last week and she hasn’t noticed,” he confesses.

“You’re a fucking nightmare,” you laugh.

Donghyuck freezes for a moment, watching you stand in between giggles. Mark said the same think a couple of weeks ago, but it doesn’t sting when you say it. You say it in laughter. Like it’s okay. Like it doesn’t scare you.

“My house is down the street,” you say, helping yourself up and standing in front of him. Donghyuck remembers. “I’ll call Nana and let her know you’re with me.”

A bark startles Donghyuck for a second. You and him turn to find a golden Labrador running towards where you stand.

“Aw, my baby’s here to pick me up,” you announce with the softest voice. The lab runs, almost dashes towards you, and Donghyuck is taken aback when it tackles him—not you—knocking the plastic bag off his hands and resulting to him landing his butt back to the pavement. “Pororo!” you shriek, not in surprise but with a tone of betrayal. “I’m your mother!”

Donghyuck hears you shriek, but laughs through it because the golden lab is hogging him, licking him all over as if he’d miss him all these years. “Oh, baby, you’re so cute,” he coos, cradling the dog by its face, looking up at you as the dog licks his face. “This is yours?”

You fight back a smile, but you lose immediately because your face breaks with a grin. “What has the limelight done to you?” you ask, the same question from earlier, but a different tone—teasing, nostalgic, like years ago.

The dog sniffs him all over and you stand there watching them.

“Can’t even recognize your own dog now?” you tease, walking so you could pet the dog and have him follow you. “It’s the puppy Nana got you a month before you left Seoul. You couldn’t bring him with you, and Nana couldn’t take care of him when you left, so I adopted him, pabo.”

“Pororo?” Donghyuck finally, finally recognizes. Pororo looks like he’s nodding, like saying thank God, you remembered me! The dog goes back to tackle him. “Oh, Pororo! My baby!”

You lead the way to your house, Pororo following after you. He watches you take several steps ahead of him. He feels dizzy watching the scene in front of him. Donghyuck understands what Renjun is talking about now.

Humans remember a singular aspect of an event from his or her past that a complete representation of the entire scene is reactivated in the brain like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle coming together to create a vivid recollection. You’re the representation of his entire life in Jeju-do, a clear image before Haechan, and he’s fucking sorry he forgot about you all these years.

But that’s an apology you’d never hear from him. Instead, he watches you, taking a small step towards you, and decides he’ll allow his unsaid apology to be added on the long list of reasons why he can’t sleep at night.

Nostalgia comes in waves, they say, but why do you bring it to him like a hurricane?

Donghyuck could say that Nana is impressed with the drastic change of character in the span of six weeks.

She’s been treating him better these days; by “better”, Donghyuck means she’s been cutting off a few hours from work so he could spend more time at her home, guarding the hens and roosters that serve at her alarm clock and watering her plants from her small vegetable garden. She’s also been paying him, giving him a small envelope with cash and a small paper that resembled a payslip showing the number of hours he’d work for the week, and Donghyuck ignores the quick jump from his heart when he sees your signature at the end of it, affirming that the hours listed are accurate. Donghyuck takes the money, of course, after Nana threatened to beat him up because she’d be breaking Korea’s labor laws if he doesn’t accept it, and he keeps it all in a small box in his room, planning to show it to his members when he goes back to Seoul and brag about working like a normal civilian at the age of 23.

There is a pinch in his heart when he remembers his members. While Donghyuck has been working on (and failing to) sober up for an entire month, his members have not called nor texted him. He’d been reaching out, of course. Some of his members have been assigned solo projects and activities in the last month, and he ensures to congratulate them. All he’s gotten so far are the receipts that his messages have been read.

Donghyuck convinces himself that it’s probably SM that advised everyone not to give him a time of their day, that they probably think being away from work means disconnecting from everyone, too, that his members love him and also believe that he needs some time off from everything.

But the convincing can only do much. The convincing distracts him while he’s at work, or while he’s watering Nana’s plants, but it doesn’t do much at night. Still, after six weeks, Donghyuck is nowhere near clean.

He wakes up with a terrible headache every day (from lack of sleep or hangover, he’s not really certain), and his Nana has been oddly making hangover soup for breakfast. Donghyuck wonders whether you’d ratted him out or his mother had called her about it. Either way, she probably knows something’s up.

His mother had called him a few times now, Seungyeon, too, and it’s been casual. His mother’s voice always sounded like she’s walking on eggshells whenever she’d call, blurting a half-assed apology for not seeing him before he left and telling him she’d forgiven him and that she’s looking forward to seeing her in a few months. Seungyeon talks to him the most, almost every day, in short text messages and 10-minute calls on the weekends when she doesn’t have to worry about waking up early the next day.  And she talks to him about the most random thing, nothing ever related to his obsession with drinking or the scandal, which makes Donghyuck feel better somehow.

Six weeks didn’t make much of a difference, not that Donghyuck was expecting any. The only thing that’s changed so far is that, he’s not as exhausted as he was in Seoul despite his shitty sleeping schedule continuously fucking up his already deteriorated mental health. He hasn’t been listening to songs for quite a while, and he’s been drinking every night. And if it means anything to him, you’ve been hanging out with him while he drinks.

In six weeks, he learns that you’re not much of a drinker. You don’t have many friends that you could really invite for a drink in a nearby pub or in a samgyeopsal restaurant. You’d mentioned that most people your age have all moved on to different places, spewing names that were once familiar to Donghyuck and telling him where they are now. Donghyuck is yet to learn why you had stayed in Jeju-do, not once stepping in Seoul, when the world off this island’s shores are much, much bigger than you think.

It’s two in the morning. You’d taken him home because he could barely keep his head up with the number of soju bottles he had downed, and he appreciates that you try to stay quiet when you put him to bed and leave, keeping the blinds closed because he’d told you once that the morning sunlight seeping through spaces between the curtains hurt his eyes. You’d left when Donghyuck’s barely awake.

His phone dings a notification. Donghyuck probably won’t remember so he reaches over, checking it and recognizing his mother’s name.

She sends him an article about the upcoming debut of NCT DoJaeJung, and Donghyuck’s seen it in the groupchat for some time now. Donghyuck isn’t even halfway down the article when she sends another one: Mark’s solo song.

She doesn’t add another message, and he sees her status change from online to offline in a split second, but she doesn’t really have to say anything else for him to understand.

Donghyuck’s dream has always been the spotlight.

Or at least, as he recognizes now, his mother’s dream for him has always been the spotlight.

Donghyuck always thought he loved making people happy and singing equally.

While people called him kind and a ray of sunshine, Mark’s always called him out for being a people-pleaser, reminding him that he doesn’t have to make sure everyone is happy with the choices he’d make, telling him he doesn’t have to feel the strong urge to please everyone. And Donghyuck never understood it until now, now that he’s wide awake and looking at his mother’s messages. She’s probably expecting a solo project for him, too, and she sends these things that make her happy, and she’s already expecting him he’d do it no matter what. Donghyuck’s mother is a good person; he’d look up at her and think to himself that when he grows up, he’d want to be as supportive as his mother, and don’t get him wrong when he says she expects him to do anything that’d make her happy. Because this is all Donghyuck’s fault, anyway.

With his desire to make her the happiest, he’s done everything he could to make her happy, even at his own expense.

The infamous Saturday audition at SM was something Donghyuck never thought about—not at the age of 13 when he had just gotten back in Seoul after five years of staying in Jeju-do. His accent has changed and he reckons he could have a good relationship with boys his age who grew up in the city. And as much as he loved performing, Donghyuck doesn’t like being criticized. He doesn’t like rejection, and he can’t bare the thought of adults telling him he couldn’t sing.

Hence, his initial answer to his mother’s proposal to visit SM Entertainment and give it a try was no. The only thing that had made him go, knees shaking and palms sweaty, was his mother’s words: “It’ll truly make me happy if you give it a try.”

She’d said it in many occasions, and Donghyuck’s given everything that’d make her happy a try. She’d never said a bad thing and even told him a few times that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to, but he does it anyway.

Donghyuck was afraid that she’d love him less if he didn’t make her happy. He was only thirteen, and his twenty-three now, and his biggest fear hasn’t changed: to be loved less because he didn’t make them happy enough.

So, Haechan blurts out the most random jokes when the cameras are on and initiates skinship with the member even if they abhor him for it and style his hair a different way, because it makes the fans happy. Haechan stays up learning the tune of the new song and recording himself in his phone for hours even after an entire day of physical activities, because it makes the producers happy. Haechan takes his friends and the younger members to dinner after a 16-hour flight from the west on the night of his birthday—his eyes barely open the entire time—because it makes them happy. Haechan plays the maknae role perfectly, even when at times he’s tired of it, because it makes the older members happy. Haechan continues to be a sunny and bright character even on days when he’s exhausted, because it makes his managers happy.

But the truth is, Donghyuck doesn’t like dyeing his hair. His hair’s gotten so unhealthy from dyeing it different colors last year.

Donghyuck feels awful sometimes, when his friends do not return his affection, but he plays it off, feigning hurt even when it actually does.

Donghyuck wants to sleep after a 16-hour flight.

Donghyuck wants to drink with his hyungs, too.

Donghyuck just wants to sing and write songs when he’s learned enough.

Donghyuck doesn’t want to be like Mark, or Doyoung, or anyone else.

Donghyuck wants Haechan to be… Donghyuck.

Donghyuck wants to be happy—in his own terms, by his own choices.

But how can he be happy when he’s always depended his happiness on the people he loves?

Donghyuck feels like a dead man walking.

You and Donghyuck are tasked to bring the harvested fruits at the farmer’s market in the early hours of Sunday.

It’s barely five in the morning, and the sun’s not even out yet, but you had forced him to sleep early the night before to make sure he’d accompany you to the market. (He didn’t sleep though; he lied awake until his phone rang and you’re calling from outside.) You’d driven the farm’s truck to get here, and Donghyuck can’t help but admire the way you hold the steering wheel with one hand.

Donghyuck helps you carry the boxes out of the truck, arranging them in front of his grandmother’s store. You had walked in while he carries the rest inside and Donghyuck hears you talk to Eunseuk, his Nana’s sales person who handles and manages their place in the public market.

“That’s awful,” Donghyuck hears you say as soon as he places the last of the boxes in a corner. “Can’t the mayor do anything about it?

Eunseuk sighs, shaking her head. “Unfortunately, it looks like the donation project Nana’s driven wasn’t enough. She barely made enough profit last quarter because she’d donated most of it to the project.”

“What is awful and what project are we talking about?” Donghyuck interrupts.

Eunseuk smiles sadly at him. “The clinic that Nana’s been proposing to the mayor for years now. The town’s mayor thinks it’s not going to be built this year.” Donghyuck’s never heard of it.

“The community has a lot of elderly people who live alone in Jeju-do,” you explain when you notice his curiosity. “Especially in here in the island, even more here in our town. Most people leave Jeju-do at the age of eighteen to find a better life in Seoul, which is ridiculous because there’s no place better than Jeju-do, and Nana thought it’d be great if she built a small clinic for the elderly nearby, that way they wouldn’t have to travel fifty kilometers to visit the nearest hospital. It’d be great if the elderly can have themselves checked for free and to have, if not all, most equipment they’d need.”

“How is that possible?” Donghyuck asks.

“Well,” Eunseuk starts. “First, we need the funds to actually build the clinic itself. Nana is halfway through the amount needed. The mayor’s children are doctors, and if he wants to keep winning the next elections, I’m sure he’d be happy to have them volunteer.”

“What about maintenance?” he asks.

“Good question,” you say. “And good thinking. I like it, you’re already thinking ahead, Donghyuck-ah. Anyway, the elderly is very much willing to do community service in exchange of the maintenance of the small clinic. And don’t worry, it’s not like Nana’s going to make them work like horses.”

“Services like crocheting products for the local market,” Eunseuk adds. “Food manufacturing—the kind that would allow them to make while sitting down, local farming, jewelry-making, and the like. Things we can sell in the market. You know how tourists are so keen on buying anything hand-made.”

“So, a clinic for the elderly built and maintained by the elderly?” Donghyuck sums up.

“Exactly!”

“How much are we looking at in terms of money?” He asks.

You chuckle. “If you’re grandmother wanted to ask money from you, she would have already. She has some kind of pride, you know.”

“Well, I’ll give it you and you tell her it’s an anonymous donation.”

“As if she’d believe that bullshit,” you answer. “Anyway, Eunseuk-eonnie, what do we do now?”

The older woman shrugs. “We’ll keep selling tangerines until we reach the goal, I guess.”

Donghyuck talks before he could think about it. “I can do something.”

You and Eunseuk look at him like you’d just seen a ghost.

“I don’t know what I can offer,” he says right away. “But I’ll… I think I can do something.”

“Donghyuck,” you say. “You can sing.”

“I am aware,” he jokes.

“No, you can sing,” you repeat. Donghyuck looks back at you. “You can sing, so I’m sure you can teach people how to sing.”

“And?” He doesn’t get it.

“It’s summer,” you answer. “Most kids are bored and are probably looking for something meaningful to do while they wait for school to start again. Teach kids how to sing and have their parents pay for it!”

Donghyuck thinks it’s a good idea. “And you can write.”

You freeze. “No.”

“Teach kids how to write and have their parents pay for it.”

“Over my dead body!”

“I will do it only if you do it.”

Eunseuk laughs, “Oh, this is good.”

“No, Donghyuck. I’m not a professional writer. I didn’t even go to college. I don’t have the credentials for it.”

“You don’t have to go college to be a writer,” he snorts. “Scott Fitzgerald didn’t even finish college.”

“Where’d you even learn that?”

“You told me when we were kids!” he answers, laughing. “Come on, Y/N. I’m sure Nana can find someone to do your job in the farm while we teach kids.”

“I don’t know, Donghyuck,” you sigh.

Eunseuk lightly slaps your arm. “Come on, young lady. Do it for the elderly.”

“Yeah, Y/N, do it for the elderly.”

The sparkle in your eyes and the smile on your lips tell Donghyuck you agree.

And so, the plan goes accordingly.

Donghyuck could say that Nana is more than delighted to learn that his delinquent and embarrassing grandson, who’s spent all this time pretending he doesn’t care, had decided to help out. You’d done the most part, of course— obtaining the permit from the mayor’s office and settling all the paperwork needed. All Donghyuck had to do was to help clean up and renovate his grandfather’s old office in the farm. Everyone else who had some free time helped because apparently, that’s what this community does. Donghyuck could probably get used to receiving help without him asking for it.

So, in more or less five days, his grandfather’s old office, which is about forty square meters, had turned into the community’s summer class headquarters. You and Donghyuck decided to call it Nana’s Music and Literature Classes. And with the help of Eunseuk and some of the workers, the word spread like news from the radio. In a week’s time, you and Donghyuck have over twenty student each. Mondays and Wednesdays were his schedule; yours were Tuesdays and Thursdays. Fridays were called Hyuckie and Y/C/N’s day—which means you and him would dedicate an entire day brainstorming and talking about your class’ progress.

The summer courses would take eight weeks to complete, and at the end of it would be a competition, in which the Mayor promised he’d give a very big reward for. Those who enrolled in Donghyuck’s classes would have a recital at the end of summer where the kids will hold a small concert for the town—tickets to be sold as part of the drive, of course—and the judges will be identified to select three winners. As for your classes, it will be a short story competition, and the winners will be announced on the night of the small concert, which Donghyuck is the best ending any summer could have.

The place is cramped, and Donghyuck’s never been more excited his entire life.

He’s gone to many places and met with many prominent people in this lifetime. But he’s decided that this is the most exhilarating day of his life.

The parents leave as soon as Donghyuck assures them that the kids will be safe and will be all set for pick up by 3 in the afternoon. You’re talking to the kids while he ensures that the room is cool enough for everybody. The room is filled with excitement that Donghyuck could feel inside him. He learned from the parents he’d met just a few minutes ago that the town doesn’t really offer things like this for children and that they’d have to send their kids to summer camp in the mainland if they wanted them to experience this, and the fact that you and him are doing this for a cause makes it even better.

Donghyuck views this like it’s not as big as the drives NCT had been doing, or the charity concerts he takes part in, or the money he donates to various causes, but to the people of the town, it’s bigger than anything they had ever known.

“Aigoo,” one of the parents cooed when she’d seen Donghyuck greet everybody outside. “Your grandparents have always been kind. They’d been the pillar of this small town for quite some time now. I’m glad you’re growing up a good man.”

You’d smiled at him when you heard that, and Donghyuck wonders if you also think he’s growing up a good man, because he thinks you grew up to be such an amazing, compassionate person.

“Hello, kids!” Donghyuck greets. Everybody says it back with the same enthusiasm, and despite having been in hundreds of shows with thousands of people in the audience, he can’t remember the last time a crowd made him feel alive.

Donghyuck hates being recognized.

When his career had just started, he thought that the greatest compliment was to be recognized. He thought that he’d measure his success with the number of people from the general public who could recognize him under a hat and with a face mask covering half his face. But in the latter years of his career, he’d learned the hard way that he hated being seen and being recognized.

There had been many happenstances in his job in which he’d just wish he was invisible for a moment. Anytime he’s in an airport, regardless it was for an event or concert overseas, or worst of it all, a vacation with his family, all Donghyuck wants is for people not to know who he is. In afternoon runs by himself, all he needs is a time alone and not girls following him and taking pictures of him. On days when he’s out with friends and family, all he hopes is peace. This comes with the job, Johnny would tell him whenever he’d get frisky and annoyed, but Donghyuck never really understood why his privacy is anyone’s business. Never really understood why he had to go through this when all he’s ever really wanted was sing.

Donghyuck hates being seen.

More than anything. Especially when he’s trying hard to hide. And he wishes he’s only talking about his physical appearance being seen. He hates that his grandmother sees through him but doesn’t say anything about it unless he opens up first. He hates that Mark, his best friend in the entire world, sees right through his walls and that all Donghyuck’s done is push him away and make him hate him even more. He hates that his father sees his pain, but doesn’t talk about it for some reason. He hates that you see him—all of him—but you don’t look at him with disgust or pity or anything of that sort.

It’s Friday, yours and his day, the second one since summer school’s started, and he’d started calling you by your childhood nickname again. You’d grimaced the first time and told him nobody’s called you that in a long time, but allowed him nonetheless.

The clock strikes six in the afternoon and the dusk had just settled in the horizon. You and him are sitting on the floor of his room, facing each other, separated by a small table, notepads scattered, ideas running a hundred miles per second.

“This is perfect,” you comment when you and him had finished planning out next week’s daily agenda. “The kids are going to love it!”

Donghyuck stays silent, eyes on you as you finally set your pen down.

“What should we have for dinner?” you ask, eyes still on the notepad. “Nana’s probably heating up some leftover galbi, but I think we should make some kimchi stew, too.”

Donghyuck hums. You look up at him. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing. I just had something in mind.”

You tilt your head. “Tell me.”

“It’s a question,” he says. “And if I say it, you’d have to answer.”

You think about it for a moment. Donghyuck almost takes it back. “Sure.”

“Really?”

You nod. “As long as you answer a question from me, too.”

Donghyuck pretends to think about it. “Can we set some rules?”

“It’s literally one question,” you snort. “Come on. Ask me.”

“No, ask me first,” he insists.

“You asked first.”

“No. Ask me first,” he repeats.

You scoff. “Fine. You have to tell me the truth, yeah?” A nod. “Ready?” Another.

Donghyuck holds his breath for a moment and you don’t say anything for about a minute, probably thinking the same as him: this is the only chance both of you are honest and open, might as well ask a question one wouldn’t answer on a normal day.

“How are you?”

He exhales the breath he’s been holding and nearly breaks down in tears when he hears the question you’d decided to ask. He’s sure you’ve heard of it all. Everything’s been all over the internet for the past two months he’d been in hiding in Jeju-do: the drinking, the nights in clubs and bars, the fights with the members, the cherry on top which is the scandal. It’d all spiraled into everything he was initially afraid of. The girl he’d met at the back of the club had sold him to reporters and had made up a story of how they’ve been in a sexual relationship for quite some time. The media had dug up stories of him being out of control in the streets when he’s shitfaced from all the soju he had and had posted tales of him asking multiple women to sleep with him whenever he’s drunk.

The agency sued everyone for making shit up, of course, but Donghyuck knows half of those are the truth. He has not been the best group member in a long time: always late in practices, grumpy and hangover during fan signs, lethargic during concerts, and fucking up performances. He’s lost himself, and he’s losing everyone in the process of it.

People ask him if he’d really had sex with someone at the back of a bar. They’d ask him why he never asked for help with his drinking problem. Comments from his Instagram would tell him to back off and just leave the group. Fans from calls and fan signs would ask him why he’d stop making covers of the songs he loved and why he hasn’t been on Bubble in a long period of time.

But nobody else had really asked him how he’s been aside from Nana, who he doesn’t have the heart to open up to.

“I—” He starts but swallows, breathing in. You wait for him. “I’m—I don’t really—I’m not sure if I can.”

You nod. “Take your time, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck reminds himself to breathe.

How is he? How has been holding up after everything that’s happened?

He’s lost his spark. He’s lost his love for music, his passion for the stage, the sparkle in his eyes. He’s losing the people he loves. He’s losing his friends. And he’s losing a battle with himself.

He’s—

“I’m, ” he tries again. “Y/N, I’m not okay.”

It pours like rain, his tears. He shakes when he cries and his chest is tight and it’s hard to breathe, but he keeps crying because it’s the only time he ever will. He sobs in pain and holds himself when his entire body shakes from the ache of it all.

He’s grieving, weeping, like how one would in a funeral, because how does he ask for forgiveness? How does he ask forgiveness from his parents and siblings? From his members? From his fans? From the staff and the people who’d brought him to where he is? How does he ask forgiveness from little Donghyuck when all he’d wanted was for him to grow up a good man?

You let him cry, and only reach out to hand him a handkerchief when he’s done. You don’t say anything. Instead you kneel and reach over to hug him from the other side. Donghyuck accepts your tenderness.

“I don’t have anything else to ask,” you murmur against his hair. “But I do want to say that you’re loved in ways you probably have forgotten already. You’ve probably been used to love that’s loud—screaming and flamboyant and beautiful and everything anyone would want—but you’re also loved quietly. In a small, serene room. In a way you’ve forgotten.”

“Thank you,” he says, sniffling, a little embarrassed now. “I’m sorry. I probably ruined the moment.”

You chuckle, pulling away, and Donghyuck’s heart does flips when you kiss the top of his head like you always did when you were younger. He doesn’t know why he remembers all of a sudden.

“Stop apologizing,” you reply. “There’s nothing to apologize about.”

“There’s a lot,” he admits. “I didn’t recognize you the first time I saw you. We did everything when we were kids, and I didn’t recognize you.”

“And it’s okay,” you assure, holding the top of his hand that’s resting on the small table. “I didn’t expect you to recognize me right away. You were worlds away from me. We forget people and that’s okay.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not. I promised to keep in touch, and I never did. I’m sorry.”

You nod. “You’re forgiven.”

Donghyuck sighs in relief. “I doubt, but okay.”

“Trust me.” He does. “Anyway, you were going to ask me something. You’re not allowed to ask the same thing because I’d just answer that I’m tired and I want to sleep. Nothing big happens in my life.”

Donghyuck smiles again. “Ready?” A nod. “Why’d you never leave Jeju-do?”

It seems like you didn’t expect the question because your face tells Donghyuck you’re surprised by what he just asked. You lick your lip and exhale largely, looking everywhere but his eyes. Donghyuck allows you to take your time, and you’re not running away so he’s assuming you’re thinking of an answer for him.

“I don’t have a dream,” is your answer. “My parents think it’s not normal. Because even they had already left the town and moved to a bigger place off the island. People think it’s impossible that I don’t have a dream, that I must want something in life, I just haven’t discovered it yet. And I’m twenty-three, I’m still waiting for my awakening, for dreams to find me, but it hasn’t. I don’t want to do anything in life but just… survive.”

Donghyuck only listens. “In high school, when we were deciding what to take up in college and which college we’d go to, I had nothing in mind. I didn’t want a career—not an engineer, not a teacher, not a doctor, none of those. I couldn’t think of anything. Writing is something that I love doing, but I really can’t see myself pursuing it as a career. I don’t want to end up hating it. I’ve always been convinced that I wasn’t specifically good at anything apart from that. I’m okay with all subjects at school, average grades and all, but nothing ever stood out for me. I never stood out. And I was okay with it for a reason I still don’t know. I was okay with not having dreams. College was the only reason for me to leave Jeju-do. There’s nothing else, therefore I’m still here. At twenty-three, I haven’t accomplished much, and if you want me to be all out and honest,” you sigh. “It’s… it’s starting to scare me.”

“What scares you?”

“That I haven’t accomplished anything yet,” you admit. “I’m not one to, you know, force myself to people and make them remember me. I wasn’t scared of oblivion. Until… these days, I’ve been asking myself, how are people going to remember me?”

Donghyuck nods, urges you to continue.

“Are they going to remember me as someone who helps out in your Nana’s farm because I had nothing to do?” you voice out. “Are they going to remember me as someone who brings all the deliveries to the farmer’s market when the staff is unavailable? Are they going to remember be as Eunseuk’s co-worker? Are they going to remember me at all?”

 “Can I tell you something?” he asks but doesn’t wait for you to answer. “I know I’m not in the position to say anything about remembering you when I couldn’t recognize you the first time we met after a decade, but I remember you by the way I see cherry blossoms.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Is that a good thing?”

“We met in a puddle of fallen cherry blossoms in summer of 2006,” he explains. “I remember you by the way you admired flowers that fall off from its stem, by the way you loved fallen and broken things equally when they were perfect and when they stood still. I may have awfully forgotten you all these years, but the way I see cherry blossoms is the exact same way you see them.”

Donghyuck continues, “You know how they say we’re a manifestation of all the people we met, right? That we’re a mosaic of everything we’ve ever learned from them. To me, I remember you as the clear image of who I was before… before everything that’s happened. I remember you as someone helping me find my way back home.”

“Donghyuck,” you trail off. “That’s the… best thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Donghyuck smiles. “And so, what if you don’t have big dreams? Dreams are just dreams anyway. You don’t have to have one if you don’t want to. You shouldn’t have to struggle so much in order to live.”

“Do people know you’re this kind and profound?” you chuckle. “People should see this side of Lee Donghyuck.”

“Call yourself lucky you’re the only one,” he answers.

“What’s wrong with people seeing this side?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “I don’t think they’d want the boring kind. I think they like me better when I’m funny and over the top and a sucker for attention.”

“Well,” you click your tongue. “I like you either way.”

Donghyuck is barely twenty-three. And if he knows anything about falling in love, this might just be the moment he truly learns it.

You and him end up falling asleep on his bed. Donghyuck likes to think he doesn’t really remember how it happened. You’d told him you’d sleep in the hammock at his house’s patio, but he’d insisted to sleep in his room, of course. Reason? Mosquitoes, of course. Donghyuck said he’d sleep on the floor, taking an extra pillow, but you were already half asleep, moving so your body is right by the wall, safe and sound. You’d save the extra space for him to sleep beside you. Donghyuck likes to think he’d fallen asleep because he was exhausted and not because he felt safe around you.

It’s the longest sleep he’s had in a long time.

He wakes up at eight in the morning, the room already warm despite the air-conditioning system still switched on. You are no longer beside him, but he clearly hears your voice from outside.

Donghyuck gets up, going straight outside and finds everyone from the farm gathered around for breakfast outside his grandmother’s house. He’d forgotten that his Nana invited everybody for a scrumptious breakfast today, Saturday, and he wonders why neither you nor Nana herself had woken him up to help out.

Farmers and harvesters pass a plate to one another. A long table is set up in the middle of Nana’s driveway space, various of dishes laid out, and Donghyuck finds you holding two pitchers of tangerine juice, walking around to fill up the workers’ cups.

It’s Eunseuk who sees Donghyuck standing by the patio watching everybody move around.

“There’s our Donghyuckie!” she announces.

Everyone looks at him and greets him a good morning. Nana shouts his name and asks him to come over and eat some breakfast. You squint when you look at him, the sun blinding your eyes, but you smile as soon as he waves hi.

Donghyuck can’t help but think being recognized is not so bad after all.

Donghyuck spends the rest of summer like a kid.

Except he goes to work at Nana’s Music and Literature Classes on Mondays and Wednesdays, goes to the farm on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and spends his Fridays with you. He learns many things over the summer, especially about the community and the town itself. He meets more people as Donghyuck, Nana’s grandson who teaches children how to sing and who helps out in the farm two days a week. They accept him as he is, and he feels like seven again, meeting new people every day until they all remember him by his name.

Among the things he’s learned, he likes learning how your lips taste the most.

It was sudden, unplanned, the kind where he didn’t know he was doing it until he’s done it. You and him were ending a Friday session at your place that time, the place where he used to hide his drinks, and he was so elated that he wasn’t going home drunk for the first time since he arrived in Jeju-do. And he was bidding you goodbye. He’d leaned it like it was the most natural thing to do and caught your lips in his. You shrieked in surprise, unable to say anything, but tipped on your toes and gave him a second kiss before turning and running inside your house.

You didn’t talk about it, and Donghyuck felt like it was not something to talk about. You had voiced out you liked him in many occasions, and Donghyuck’s been relentlessly flirting with you since the night you fell asleep in his room. The signs were never mixed and the lines were never blurred. Donghyuck’s grown much closer to you more than anyone else in the world, and he’s been falling asleep in the safety of your arms these days. It was safe to say the kisses weren’t meaningless.

The night of his class’ recital comes quickly.

Donghyuck spend the entire two days practicing with each of his students while you were busy reading all of your students’ works and giving them feedback before they submit it to the Mayor’s office. You find him getting ready in his room, dressed in the only button-down shirt he brought from Seoul and a pair of slacks. Meanwhile, it’s the first time he’s seeing you in a dress that somehow matches the colors of his outfit.

“Looking great, handsome,” you say.

Donghyuck pulls you for a kiss. “Could say the same to you, beautiful.”

“Why are you so touchy these days?” you whine but lean back to kiss him again anyway. “Ready? One of the parents called and said his kid is already in the venue. They’re excited.”

Donghyuck nods, grabbing a jacket just in case it gets cold later tonight, and leads the way out. Nana is dressed in a pretty dress Donghyuck gave her for Christmas last year. Donghyuck drives to the venue and finds himself nervous for the first time in a long time.

 You’d managed to convince him to sing tonight despite his persistent refusal.

“Come on, Donghyuck,” you begged, pulling him by the end of his shirt as he harvests tangerines. “The audience will love you!”

“They paid their tickets to watch the kids of the community sing, not me,” he argued. “And besides, I haven’t sung in like, four months. Who knows? I may have forgotten to sing already.”

“Bullshit,” you said. “Your Nana would want to hear you sing live.”

“She’s already heard me sing live many times,” he replied. “She’s been to many concerts.”

You tilt you head, a habit he’s grown to really like. “But I haven’t.”

Donghyuck had wanted to kiss the pout off your lips at that time. “Watch it from Youtube.”

“You don’t get many lines!” you said.

“So, you do watch my performances in Youtube, huh?” he teased. “Only in NCT 127 I don’t get so much lines because there are more members. Try to listen to NCT Dream.”

“Donghyuck!” you bellowed in frustration as you follow him around the farm. “Please!”

He stopped and turned, a little too late for you to step back because you’re already pressed up against his chest. “Okay.”

“Really?” you asked, voice lower because your faces were just inches apart—one wrong move and you’d be kissing in the middle of tangerine trees.

He nodded, purposely moving his face closer. “Only if you start reviewing for the SAT again and start sending your drafted college applications from your laptop.”

“Who told you to sneak in and open my files!” you gasped.

“I was checking if you’ve ever watched porn in your life and I found something better: your college applications.”

“I hate you, you know?”

Donghyuck chuckled, moving even closer to intimidate you but he hoped you couldn’t his heart hammering against his chest. “I know. Now. Do we have a deal? I’ll sing at recital night and you start reviewing for the upcoming SAT and send out your college applications when it’s time.”

“I’m—I’m not sure.”

Donghyuck let you go, you almost falling back but he held your hand before you could. “Then I’m not singing.”

“But Donghyuck!” He turned to leave while you scream behind him, pleading.

Ten steps forward and he finally got what he wanted: “Okay! I’ll do it! I’ll start reviewing and will send all the drafted college applications! I’ll do it!”

Hence, the singing stunt for tonight.

The event goes as planned.

The night starts with Donghyuck’s entire class singing their own rendition of a famous traditional song that the crowd truly loved. One by one, the kids would sing, with intermission numbers in groups in between, and by the end of it, it was Donghyuck’s turn.

The minus one track is ready and Donghyuck takes a deep breath as he walks up the stage. It’s smaller than any of the stages he’s been on—perhaps the smallest—and the lights aren’t as bright than the ones he’s used to. Big stages mean big lights, and if he’s being completely honest, he doesn’t see a single face when he’s on stage. The illuminations to ensure the fans would see them are blinding, beyond what people think. While his mother thinks his eyesight has gotten worse due to the long hours of playing APEX on his days off, Donghyuck believes it’s because of the blinding lights from the stage and everywhere he goes.

However, this stage has the gentlest lights he’s ever seen. The crowd is small, about two hundred people including their students, and from here, he can see their faces clearly. He stands not too far away, not to high, and he smiles when the crowd cheers when he reaches the middle of the stage.

“Hello, I’m Donghyuck,” he says on the mic. “I’m the teacher of the talented kids we watched this evening, and I can’t be prouder with how they sang their hearts out tonight. To show my gratitude, I also prepared a song for you.”

The crowd cheers again, your voice standing out as you stand right beside the stage, your phone already up probably recording him.

“I sang this song some time last year,” he continues. “This is Good Person.”

The instrumental plays and the crowd claps before he even starts. Donghyuck breathes, closing his eyes, and sings: “What’s going on today? Your face looks like it’s been crying. Did he break your heart? You’re the most precious person in the world to me.”

He hasn’t sung in a long time, and he barely practiced this song yesterday. Donghyuck, for some time before everything went to crumbles, felt scared going on stage. He felt as though he wouldn’t do well enough to deserve the applause and cheers, and he spent a lot of time doubting his own capabilities.

Whoever he is now, Donghyuck truly worked hard for it. At first, he only knew how to sing and it was the only thing he ever loved. And then he learned how to dance, how to stand like an idol, how to answer like a celebrity, how to have his “candid” photos taken, how to be a proper artist—even when he only wants to sing.

Standing here, now, in a small crowd, singing a song he wished was his own, he wished he had written, Donghyuck feels safe.

In Jeju-do, he feels safe. Donghyuck feels like he’s found his way home. The people he’s spent all these months with brought him comfort he’s never known—like coming home after a whole day of being pestered in the real world—and he knows that he’ll never find ease and serenity the same way Jeju-do had given him. The town took him in with open arms, like he’s not some idol who ruined their career for fleeting pleasure, like he’s not some person who’d forgotten about all of them. His Nana embraced him like he was seven again, like making mistakes is normal and that forgiving is easy when you love the person. You accepted him and taught him what falling in love means as though he was deserving of love and comfort.

The song ends with his voice dragging out the last words, his eyes closed: “I can only comfort you.”

When Donghyuck opens his eyes, the lights don’t blind him and the people he knows and love clap, cheering for him. It comes to him like pouring rain. And he allows himself to drench in it—the tenderness, the warmth, the love.

Because he deserves it. He deserves the love, therefore he takes, takes, takes, until he’s full of it.

Like many times in Donghyuck’s life, the ease and serenity end as quickly as it arrives.

You’d spent the night in his home, Donghyuck for the first time learned how to make love in bed. He’s had sex before, of course, but never like how you and him connected in his bed—moans and music of pleasure hushed by each other’s mouth, his honey-colored skin’s warmth pressed against yours, his lips and tongue tasting every inch of you. He’d said he loves you, and you’d said it back as you and him take each other.

This morning he wakes up without a headache, and he’s been waking up without one for a few weeks now. He usually wakes up with the sound of roosters from his grandmother’s backyard, or the sound of you and his Nana talking over your morning coffee. But today, he wakes up with the sound of his grandmother knocking profusely, seemingly frightened by the sound of her voice calling his name.

“Donghyuck-ah,” she shouts. “Please wake up. I don’t know what to do.”

You and Donghyuck get up startled, scrambling to put some clothes on and hurrying to open the door—only to find Nana on the verge of tears. Nana never falters, she’d only shown strength but Donghyuck finds her shaking. Nana doesn’t get the chance to answer because Joohyuk barges in, sweaty and catching his breath.

“The mayor’s security team is here,” he announces. “Let’s get going.”

“Go where?” Donghyuck asks, but Joohyuk is already pulling him.

The door opens, and Donghyuck finally realizes what’s going on.

They’d found him. Men and women with cameras shout his name—he recognizes a few from the conferences he’d attended—and flashes of lights and the stuttering sound of shutters devour him. He looks around and he can’t see you and he hears his Nana cry, and Donghyuck doesn’t understand what the fuck is going on, but he feels his legs give out. Joohyuk practically carries him to the SUV waiting outside their home.

Inside the car, Donghyuck catches a glimpse of the crowd—a crowd that looks like twice the amount of the people from the recital last night. He hears them screaming his name and he sees glints of neon green and posters as they pass by. His Nana, who sits beside him, cries and says she doesn’t understand why they’d found him. The mayor had specifically ensured that the town’s residents do not say a word about his visit way before he’d arrived and she’d done her best to protect him from the lights. He doesn’t say anything and only hugs her tight.

On the other side of Nana is you. You’re staring off the window, the fields far more interesting than what just happened, and you’re biting off the nails of your fingers and your legs wouldn’t stop bouncing. And you’re silent, and Donghyuck wonders why all of a—

Donghyuck doesn’t have to ask you to know.

You’d sold him off.

“I’m sorry,” is all you had to say when you and him are left inside the mayor’s office’s lounge. Donghyuck asked everybody to leave.

You’re sitting on the couch, eyes on the floor, while Donghyuck walks back and forth, angry. “I didn’t mean to.”

He stops walking right in front of you. “What do you mean you didn’t mean to post me on your Instagram? How could you possibly accidentally do that?!”

You keep your head low. “I—I forgot that it wasn’t on private and I didn’t have that many of followers to even be bothered by it. And one of our old friends commented and asked me if it was you—”

“And you said yes?” he enunciated. “You consciously, deliberately said yes?”

You start crying at this point. “Yes, and I’m sorry!”

“That’s a little too late now, isn’t it?”

“I just—”

“You just what? You want to play the girlfriend role so fucking bad?”

“Donghyuck, please, listen—” You get up and hold him by his arms but he backs off and rips his body from yours. “I just—I wanted the world to know that you can be kind and warm and you’re nothing like what the tabloids say—”

“So, you admit you purposely posted it!” he shouts. “What a fucking—”

“Yes!” you admit, still crying. “Because I can’t live knowing the world sees you differently when you’re generous and loving and amazing!”

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, hands on his waist, head tilted up so he can focus on the ceiling instead of the image of you crying. “You have no idea how the world fucking works, do you?”

“You always loved singing,” you reason out. “And the world shouldn’t take that away from you because of one mistake. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I didn’t think it through, but please understand my purpose.”

“You really have no fucking idea,” he concludes, looking down at you, right in your eyes and says: “How would you have any knowledge of what goes on outside of Jeju-do, anyway? You have never left this god damn place in your entire life and you know nothing aside from stringing words beautifully to get what you want. And you think you’re fucking cool for not having a dream and staying in an island, living your small-town girl fantasy, when in fact you’ve done nothing in life and people won’t even remember you. Why would you think you can make this decision for me? You’re just some girl who didn’t even go to college!”

“That’s enough, Donghyuck!” Nana interrupts.

Donghyuck turns and finds his Nana, Joohyuk, some of the Mayor’s security staff, his manager, and his Mother standing right outside the now opened door.

He looks back at you and you’re no longer crying. Your expression is just empty, like a light bulb burnt out.

Indeed, like many times in Donghyuck’s life, the ease and serenity end as quickly as it arrives.

They take the first flight to Seoul after successfully shooing the media and fans away. Nana travels with them, his mother deciding that it’s the best for now until everything calms down.

Donghyuck finds out during the flight that yours and his old friend from middle school had reposted the video of him singing from last night and it went viral in multiple social media platforms. Overnight, people had found out his location and the media had started interviewing people in the town. Despite the mayor instructing everyone not to say a thing, some had answered questions, even submitted entries on some forums about Haechan online.

His manager talks about how their PR team sort of thinks this might just be what he needed, says something about the locals of the town had said so many good things about him. He confirms that the post originated from your Instagram account and you had deactivated at this point and that they’re in the process of contacting your old schoolmate because the agency wants to press charges for invading his grandmother’s privacy and for bothering him on an unofficial schedule.

His mother holds his hand all through, and she offers a kind smile and kisses the top of his head.

Donghyuck cries like baby, and his mother only holds him, and perhaps that’s all he truly needs.

The crowd is just as bad when his plane lands. Donghyuck can barely see and hear considering the lights and people shouting his name. They take him to a separate SUV, away from his mother and Nana to keep them off the radar, and he sits in the car beside his manager.

“Here,” his manager hands him a phone as soon as the car starts moving. Donghyuck had forgotten his phone. It’s probably still in his room back in Nana’s house. People are still screaming his name. Donghyuck stares at his manager’s phone blankly. The screen shows he’s in a call with Mark.

Donghyuck’s hand shakes when he takes it. He puts the device over his ear and doesn’t wait for Mark to say anything.

“Mark-hyung,” he cries.

And cries. And cries. And cries. Until he arrives in SM’s headquarters and the manager has to take the phone away from him. Mark tells him he’s on the way to the headquarters with Renjun and Doyoung and that the others should be on their way after their individual schedules.

They arrive and immediately their staff take care of him like a baby, and he realizes that he’s back. He’s back. Right where he’s supposed to belong.

They take him to the PR teams office, and none of them ask how he’s doing and he’s spiraling again—already starting to think how he could please the staff and make them happy, not even an entire day of landing in Seoul and he’s already thinking about other people at his own expense.

Hence, Donghyuck makes a decision he’s never considered before.

While one of the PR associates discuss how he’s ranked number one in Naver’s most searched term, Donghyuck raises his hand.

They all look at him.

And finally, Donghyuck says: “Please get me a therapist. Please get someone who can help me.”

The room is clean and if Donghyuck’s being honest, a little too perfect for a therapist’s office. A tiny part of his fucked-up brain tries to convince him that they’d probably set him up for a documentary he’s not aware of to clean his image, so he looks around and tries to check if there are any cameras setup.

“Truly a celebrity,” Dr. Yoon says, which makes Donghyuck jump a little. The doctor stands from the door way, closing it as he steps inside. “Please, feel comfortable.”

Donghyuck thinks that’s a little impossible, but he takes a seat one of the single couches.

“The first thing that celebrities do in my office is look around for cameras,” the doctor comments, sitting on a similar chair across Donghyuck. “And I assure you that no amount of money can buy my integrity as a psychologist.”

“I’m relieved,” Donghyuck mumbles. “Hello, I’m Donghyuck.”

“Hello, Donghyuck,” the doctor greets; Donghyuck bows. “I had a quick glimpse of your situation from the form you filled out online. Are you feeling better today?”

“I guess,” Donghyuck shrugs. Dr. Yoon smiles.

“How about I ask questions and if you don’t want to answer, stay silent instead of lying to me?” He asks. Donghyuck sighs but nods. “And if you want to answer, answer as truthfully as you can, yes?” Donghyuck agrees. “Let’s start with simple questions.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

Dr. Yoon asks him many close-ended questions, to which Donghyuck had given him all the answers to, then proceeds to ask him what’s on his mind. The doctor’s notepad sits on the table between them, left open and blank even after asking so many questions.

Donghyuck is not really sure whether he’d done the right thing by seeking help, but he can’t keep hurting people just because he’s fucked up in the head. And he can’t keep hurting himself just because he can’t make the entire fucking world happy. He can’t keep drinking his insomnia away because he’s scared a doctor may tell him he’s fucked up in the head, which he knows already, he just doesn’t want it written in his medical records. He can’t keep fucking up his group’s image just because the alcohol doesn’t help his insomnia anymore. He can’t keep drowning himself in his sadness and the thought of disappointing so many people in his life—the people he left behind in Jeju-do, the members, his fans, the staff, his parents and siblings, his Nana, you.

If melatonin didn’t work, if the alcohol didn’t work, and if Jeju-do didn’t work, then perhaps a therapist is his best shot at getting better.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and begins.

“I keep thinking about how I can make everyone happy without sacrificing anything.”

The doctor finally picks up the pen and starts scribbling down.

Donghyuck keeps talking.

Donghyuck goes to therapy on Tuesdays and Fridays, and SM keeps his hiatus status active until Donghyuck decides to come back himself. It’s an agreement his parents, Donghyuck, and the agency settled while things are still chaotic.

The members are supportive of this, especially Mark and Taeyong. They’d send him cheerful messages every Tuesday and Friday, when they know that his session would begin. Sometimes, Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin would pick him up and take him to a barbecue restaurant after. Donghyuck can’t remember how many times Renjun and Chenle had driven him to therapy and had waited for a couple of hours, only to take him to his favorite Chinese restaurant that serves the best hotpot. The older members have also driven him to therapy once or twice, with Jungwoo even signing up for therapy one time, and they’ve all given him love and tenderness—which Donghyuck accepted.

Donghyuck learns many things from Dr. Yoon. He learns that people pleasing isn't a mental illness, but it can be an issue that adversely affects how many people, with or without mental illness, relate to others. Most of all, people pleasers try to nourish other people without adequately nourishing themselves. Dr. Yoon called it Sociotrophy. He described it as the tendency to place an inordinate value on relationships over personal independence in response to the loss of relationships or conflict.

Those with sociotropic tendencies, wish to make other people happy, often at the sake of their own needs or values. While being warm, kind, and helpful are positive traits, they can result in strong feelings of resentment, anxiety, stress, and emotional depletion when they come at your expense.

People-pleasing, apparently, falls at the opposite end of the scale from autonomy. Autonomy places emphasis on independence whereas people-pleasers prioritize interpersonal relationships above all else. People-pleasers are often extremely empathic and attuned to others’ needs. A people-pleaser therefore tends to pursue intimate, affectionate, and confiding relationships. These people have a strong desire for external validation and avoid, or are sensitive to, situations where conflict may arise.  They will go above and beyond to avoid displeasing others out of fear of diminished social acceptance.

This behavior can have detrimental effects on a person’s self-worth and self-esteem.  A never-ending pursuit of approval, a desire for acceptance, and a sense of validation that arise from others happiness often result in a negative self-image. The person is likely to feel unworthy, powerless, or resentful, which may result in a lack of self-care.

The way Dr. Yoon had described it basically sums up Donghyuck as a human being.

He also learns that Sociotropic tendencies are often associated with mental health disorders such as anxiety or depression, which finally gave them Donghyuck’s diagnosis: clinical depression, also known as major depressive disorder abbreviated as MDD.

Clinical depression is a chronic condition, but it usually occurs in episodes, which can last several weeks or months. Dr. Yoon says one would likely have more than one episode in a lifetime. Donghyuck had asked him what was the difference between MDD and depression as it is.

Dr. Yoon explained that it’s normal to feel sad when you’re faced with difficult life situations, such as losing your job or a relationship. Some people may say they feel depressed during these situations. MDD is different in that it persists practically every day for at least two weeks and involves other symptoms than just sadness alone. It can be confusing because many people call clinical depression or major depressive disorder just “depression.”

Dr. Yoon also blabbered about chemicals in his brain that, well, Donghyuck really doesn’t understand much. All he knows at this point is that the treatment involves some medication and most specially psychotherapy. Apparently, studies show that the combination of these treatments is more effective than either of them alone.

Donghyuck has been investing a lot of his time in psychotherapy. His normal sessions were every Friday, thirty minutes to a maximum of an hour each. Like how his prescription doses went up, he also requested his psychotherapy sessions to be more frequent, hence Tuesdays and Fridays, minimum of one hour a session, maximum of an hour and a half.

Donghyuck likes to think that over the course of eight weeks, he’d gotten a little better. It turns out that being honest with your doctor means you’d get prescribed the right pills to take to help you fall asleep. No wonder the melatonin pills he’d taken didn’t work in the long run; he was taking the wrong ones and the wrong dosage—just like how he’d been looking for happiness in the wrong places.

From today’s session, Dr. Yoon asked him if he could talk to his mother about how he’d felt for so many years—the pressure, the urge to do whatever pleases her, the comparisons with other members, everything. Hence, Donghyuck finds himself knocking on his parents’ room.

He’s staying at their home during his hiatus. He reckons it’s the best time to speak with her as his father and the kids are out for work and school.

“Come in, Donghyuck-ah,” she says softly from the other side. He opens the door and finds his mother writing something in her journal. “You need anything, baby? Do you want to eat?”

He shakes his head and walks towards their bed, sitting on its edge. His mother puts the pen down and sits beside him. “Something wrong?”

“Eomma,” he says in the softest voice. “Can I sleep here?”

The question brings tears to his mother’s eyes. She nods and leads him to bed, Donghyuck lying on his side and his mother cradling him from behind. He looks like he’s thirteen again, the day before the audition at SM, young and anxious about what the next day would bring, and his mother seems like she’s never aged a day, still determined and only wants the best for her children.

Donghyuck can feel her crying.

“I’m sorry, Donghyuck-ah,” is all she says.

And Donghyuck knows deep in his heart that even before she’d uttered her apology, he’s already forgiven her.

Haechan comes back right before Chuseok.

NCT Dream is invited to perform at a music festival held in the Seoul Olympic Stadium alongside many other artists. When news broke that this would be Haechan’s come back stage, the ticket sites went crazy—crashing every second because everybody wanted to get tickets to see the most-awaited comeback.

Over the course of seven months of Donghyuck’s hiatus, many things have changed. He gained more fans in the latter parts of the hiatus after the world learned his life in Jeju-do. He’d gotten a new piercing in his cartilage, which the fans love, but only Donghyuck probably understands what it means. Old videos of him going on stage went viral years later, the world seeing how talented and passionate he truly is. Clips of him randomly singing without autotune circulated for quite some time, and his fondness of children and respect for the elder have been the talk of the KPop industry for the last months or so, calling him the most well-mannered idol. The scandal had not been erased from history, of course; some people still hate him for it. Some of his old fan sites did not return to support him, and if we’re talking about old Donghyuck, he’d probably be pretty bummed about it. He’d probably start compromising his privacy to give them a glimpse of his life off the stage to get them back.

But the sessions with Dr. Yoon have been working well, because Donghyuck doesn’t really care about pleasing the entire world anymore. Donghyuck thinks that as long as there’s a good number of people supporting him and loving him for who he is—as a person and as a singer—then he’d be okay. He didn’t have to make the entire planet roar his name.

The dress rehearsals are done by the time the clock hit four in the afternoon. The members argue where to go eat. Jisung announces he’s going shopping for a new pair of wired headphones because he lost his on the way to the stadium, to which Renjun says he’d go with him. The others decide to go eat with the staff, some opt to go home and rest so they’d be ready for the next day.

Donghyuck decides to go buy the book that Johnny recommended him: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. He’s told that the book is about a boy growing up, and that it might strike his thoughts if he’s up to reading a children’s book meant for adults.

Hence, Donghyuck finds himself going through shelves and sections of children’s book after picking up The Little Prince and wondering if Gyeom would want to read any of these.

You see, Lee Donghyuck is not much of a believer of fate. As he’d say before, his career didn’t happen by fate because it was all his mother doing all the hard work. But what are the odds of him choosing to visit this exact book store at this exact moment over elsewhere and another time?

And what are the odds of him finding you leaning against the wall in the corner of the store, hair longer than the last time, nose red and body bundled up in layers of clothes, a book in your hand as you read through it?

Donghyuck stops, stares at you, as if he’s waiting for you to look up from the book, and thinks about how much he’d missed you all this time and how much he’d regretted ending things with foul, unacceptable words. He thinks about remembering you anytime he sees tangerines and flowers around the city. He thinks about the odds of finding you again and again in this lifetime. He thinks about the flowers only blooming as soon as the butterflies have left, missing their timing, and how they bloom again next spring, hoping that this time, the timing is right.

He thinks about you in silence. He thinks about love hiding in the corners of his chest, convincing him he’ll get over it—he’ll get over you. He thinks about his dreams.

A few people pass by the space between you and him. The distance is about three meters. It’s silent for the most part.

Donghyuck is not much of a believer of fate, and you look up to prove him otherwise.

It’s only then that Donghyuck takes a really good look on you: new hairstyle, backpack slung in one arm, a student ID badge hanging right below your chest.

“Y/N!” A girl whisper-shouts from behind fDonghyuck. “Have you found the book?”

You don’t tear your glance away from him, but you nod and say, “Yeah. I’ll go check it out and I’ll meet you outside.”

The other girl doesn’t notice him and proceeds to leave. You take two, three, five, seven steps, and you’re right in front of him.

“Hi, Donghyuck-ah,” you say in the softest voice as soon as you’re close enough.

Donghyuck wonders whether this is just a dream or if he’d started hallucinating you because of the medicines he’s been taking, but then he catches a whiff of your scent, and Donghyuck believes.

Donghyuck believes in fate. In forgiveness. In healing. In love. In finding one’s way back home.

END

author's note: PLEASE tell me what you think of this in the comments or reblogs. I'd also appreciate if you send me you favorite line here. Thank you so much for reading until the end!

optional as always: TIP ME HERE.

[springseasonie]

i love ur writing so much like actually. can you please write virgin haechan x reader or jaehyun x virgin reader 😩 thank you!!

Study date (M)

Warnings: sexual content, college au, oral (male receiving), protected sex, subby/soft haechan, proofread but may contain errors (sorryyy)

Word count: 3,5k

A/N: you gave me too much freedom with the choices, but I just had to write about haechan for this one he's been on my mind a lot lately. Apologies for how long it took to post this

Haechan had never been so nervous in his life. It was first time alone with you in his room, and he really didn't know how to act. His palms were clammy, heart beating out his chest, and he hasn't been able to say one word to you without stuttering horribly. He's been trying hard to keep his cool, but everything was weighing on him more and more.

You didn't seem like you wanted anything else from him as far as he could tell. The both of you agreed to do homework together for the night and just hang out like normal, but you've been a little weird to him for a week. Haechan noticed your lingering gaze and touches. The little comments you made complimenting him or how you laughed a little too much at his stupid jokes. You were constantly touching him too, looping your arm with his, fixing his hair, even giving him hugs a lot more often.

And now that the 2 of you are alone, you finally seemed to calm down your unnecessary affection for the man, or so he thought.

You hadn't said much to him in the past hour, just small questions or whatever came to your mind as you mindlessly typed up an essay on your laptop. Haechan jumped a little startled when you spoke to him.

"Haechan?"

"Yeah, what's up," he answered a little too quickly in an attempt to seem normal.

"Do you think you can help me out with this?"

He nodded and gulped. He stood up walking to his bed nervously. You were laying on your stomach, feet kicking in the air as you looked up at him. Sometimes he felt like a bad friend for looking at you the way he did, thinking about you in the ways he did. But he really couldn't help it, especially not when you looked at him with your big pretty eyes in the most innocent way. Not when you wore that short skirt he can't keep his eyes off of. But what exactly is he supposed to do? It's not like he can just seduce you, especially since he's so inexperienced.

Heachan sat next to you, heart skipping a beat when you turned yourself onto your back. A sliver of skin from your stomach showed as your shirt rose up a bit. Haechan felt like such a weirdo with how much the tiny bit of skin was affecting him. Haechan has seen you with less clothes plenty of times at beaches and pools, but something about this felt so…new.

"What did you need help with," he asked, looking at you and the computer.

"Read it. I don't know if it's good," you asked, pointing to the paragraph you just wrote.

"Uh, okay. Sure." Haechan scanned over the words on the screen, not without sneaking a few glances at you of course. You were staring at him with the most content look, he couldn't tell what you were thinking at all. "Um, it seems good to me. I don't see anything wrong."

"I know," you giggled, "I just wanted a reason to talk to you. You’ve so cooped up in whatever you were doing over there, it was kind of boring over here all by myself."

Haechan didn't know how to respond, just gave you a small smile with a nod. He didn't notice the way you were looking at him as if you were going to eat the man right then and there - and that's what you fully intended to do.

"So what were you working on," you asked him, sitting up to rest on your elbows. Haechan looked down at you, then away almost immediately avoiding the intense eye contact you were giving him.

"Just something for my math class," he said.

"Oh yeah, your major is computer science right? Seems kinda hard."

"It's actually really simple…when you know what you're doing of course," he laughed softly. Haechan kept going on about his major, which is something he tended to do unintentionally. He didn't have many friends, besides you and a couple of other people on campus, because of this constant habit of nerding out when you bought up any one of his interests. But unlike most people, you never found it annoying. You always thought it was cute when he went into detail about it, whether it be video games or his major or even something you thought was stupid.

"You really do love computer science don't you," you chuckled, interrupting him mid sentence.

"Sorry, am I being annoying? I'll stop."

"Don't stop, I like hearing you talk."

Haechan couldn't help but clock the change in your tone. He glanced at you, gulping a bit when your eyes met. He really didn't know what to do or say at the moment, afraid that anything he did would make the atmosphere awkward. "Thank you," was all he could manage to say.

You sat up, now fully sitting on his bed. You scooted back a bit, face becoming closer to his to look at him in his eyes. Haechan was so obvious it almost made you laugh. You knew he had a thing for you no matter how much he tried to keep it to a minimum.

"Can we be honest for a second," you asked, closing your computer.

"Honest…about what?"

"I think you know, Haechan."

Haechan let out a deep breath looking down at his hands and then at your legs. You goddamn legs. They were always a weakness for him, it was kind of embarrassing. He felt like a Victorian man looking at an ankle every time he saw them.

"I like you, Haechan."

Your voice brought him back to the situation at hand, making him shoot his gaze to your face that was a little too close to his. He felt a lump in his throat, staying silent instead of talking. He knew he fucked up by not saying anything, but it's so hard when it's you.

"Do you like me too," you asked in a quiet voice, eyes never leaving his face.

After a moment, Haechan finally spoke, almost choking out the words. "I-I do like you." You smiled, resting your body weight in one arm. Your hand brushed his, almost making him shiver at the contact.

You wanted to take things slowly so badly, but you couldn't. Not with him looking so good and looking like he wanted to eat you the whole time. "Can I kiss you Haechan?"

Haechan wished he could've played it cool but he was a pretty expressive person when he didn't want to be. He let out a bit of nervous laughter, making you tilt your head in anticipation for his answer. "I..I don't even know what to say."

"Well it's a yes or no question," you said, making him smile a bit. "You have kissed someone right? Or is this gonna be your first kiss?"

"I have kissed someone before, don't worry."

"Good, because I've been thinking about this all day." Your face was already so close to his, so when you kissed him, it felt like tension was being relieved. His lips molded with yours, kissing you deeply, but softly. He felt your hand creep onto his chest, gripping the fabric pulling him closer to you. Haechan wanted to touch you too so badly, but he was so nervous at the moment.

Somehow you could feel his hesitation, so you wanted to reassure him even though it was boosting your ego a bit. "You can touch me. It's okay, don't be nervous."

"Are you trying to sleep with me," he asked abruptly, but it didn't pass you, just made you laugh a bit.

"Do you want the honest answer or the nice one?" You kissed him again softly, smiling to yourself.

"Honest.."

"Yes I am trying to sleep with you," you admitted. Your kisses moved from his lips to his jawline, kissing his skin gently. "Do you not want to sleep with me?"

Haechan gulped. He didn't know what he wanted to do, but he didn't know that he never told you about his lack of experience despite being friends with you for a long time. He knew how experienced you were, you were never shy about it. You hooked up with people often, but that stuff was never really for him. He’s had girlfriends and connections with people in the past, but they always lost interest when they found out he never had any experience.

"Y/N, I have something to tell you," he said, looking down at his lap. "I'm..still a virgin."

You weren't as surprised as you thought you should've been. He seemed like he lacked the experience from the moment you put your hands on him. But you didn't mind it at all. "That's okay," you said, tone sweet and comforting. "We don't have to sleep together or anything-"

"I do," he interrupted. "I want to…but I'm not very experienced so I don't want to disappoint you or anything."

Your gaze softened, hands reaching up to cup his face softly. "Listen, don't feel pressured. I don't mind not doing anything, I'm serious."

"I don't feel pressured," he said, shaking his head. "I just really like you, and you're a good friend that I feel comfortable and safe with. I just don't want us to be awkward, you know."

Heachan was sweet. Probably the sweetest guy friend you've ever had. His intentions and feelings were always true and pure, and it made you happy that he felt safe with you. If he really would let you be his first time, you might burst from happiness.

"It won't be awkward, okay? I'll take the lead. You sit back and let me do what I do best." And with that, your lips connected with his again, kissing him. You could still taste the red bull he was drinking on his tongue. You moved your laptop next to you, scooting in front of him all without pulling away. Haechan carefully put his hands on your waist, thumbs subtly falling under the waistline of your skirt.

You pulled away from his lips, face in the crook of his neck kissing his skin. "Has anyone ever given you a blowjob before," you mumbled on his skin. You rubbed your hand up his thigh, squeezing his erection through his pants.

"U-uh, no." Haechan was visibly shaken but also excited. There was no point in him trying to hide his nerves anymore. He just had to let you take the lead.

"Well, there's a first for everything right?" You hooked your fingers on the waist of his basketball shorts and boxers, looking at him before making anymore moves. "Can I?"

Haechan's mouth went dry feeling your hands on him, mind reeling at the thought of you sucking him off. He nodded his head, lifting his hips as you tugged his clothes off his body. You tossed his clothes on the floor next to his bed. Haechan noticed your eyes go a bit wide as you eyed his lap making him feel a bit nervous. "I-is there something wrong?"

"No," you rush, still staring. "Not at all. You're just…big." You wrapped your hand around his shaft, stroking him slowly, easing him into your touch. You watched him as he stared at your hand, brows furrowing as he bit his lip. You stuck your tongue out, letting a ball of spit fall on his tip. Swiping your thumb over his sensitive tip, Haechan let out a shuddering sigh.

He looked up, watching you bend over his lap, face in front of his hard cock. Your eyes never left him as you kissed up his shaft to his tip. Haechan didn't know what to do with his hands, so he laid them flat on his blanket. You kissed his tips softly, licking the slit softly. You stuck your tongue out, dropping your jaw as you took him in your mouth all the way until his tip hit the back of your throat.

Haechan could probably die happily right now. The way your cheeks hollowed as you sucked him and bobbed your head slowly made his mind go blank, the only thing on his brain was the feeling of himself being inside your mouth. You lifted your mouth off of him, adjusting yourself into a more comfortable position. Haechan's breath hitched a bit watching you arch your back. He couldn't see but he could tell your skirt was starting to ride up.

"You okay up there?"

He looked back down at you, nodding his head fast. "I'm fine.."

You snickered, licking the precum off his tip. "You're so cute." You sucked his tip, making the man squirm above you.

"Shit," he moaned softly.

Haechan closed his eyes, letting his head fall against his headboard as you continued to suck him off. For this being his first time, he didn't really know what to expect or what it would feel like, but he does know that this is a thousand times better than using his hand. The way you bobbed your head or took all that you could of him was such a turn on. He didn't know, but you were as eager as he was. Giving him head, forcing those pretty moans and whines from his lips were making you wetter and wetter.

Haechan opened his eyes as looked at you after some time, and he was glad he did. The scene in front of him was messy, hot, all over the place. Spit falling freely from your lips, your eyes watery, starting to affect the mascara on your lashes. He was so close just by looking at you.

You watched him through your lashes, his breathing starting to quicken and brows knitting. You pulled off of him, taking a deep breath when you were finally able to breathe properly. "You can't cum, not yet."

You pulled your shirt over your head, taking it off quickly. You shuffled yourself off the bed pulling your skirt off to reveal your completely soaked lace underwear.

Haechan couldn't take his eyes off the glistening mess between your legs, watching you pull them off your body. You reached in your bra taking out a condom.

"You already had one," he asked, pretty doe eyes looking up at you.

"Mhm." You opened the plastic, pulling it out. "I bring one with me everywhere I go," you say, sliding it onto his hardened length. "You're so hot, you know that?"

Haechan's face goes red, not knowing how to respond to your compliment. How was he so cute even when he sat there with his dick out? "We should probably move your laptop," he said, reaching over to grab it.

"No. Leave it." You pushed his shoulders back onto the headboard softly, making him look at you with a surprised expression. You climbed on top of him, knees straddling him as you unclipped your bra. Haechan had no idea where to look now that you were fully naked on top of him. Your tits were in his face, you were staring at him like you were going to eat him - far too much was running through his mind.

"Are you nervous," you asked softly, jolting him out of his thoughts.

"A little."

You giggled softly, licking your lips as you tilted his head up, kissing him deeply. "If at any point you wanna stop, just tell me." Haechan nodded, breathing a bit frayed from how you positioned his tip at your entrance. You sink yourself onto him slowly, one hand on his shoulder and the other on the base of his length. Haechan's hands naturally grabbed onto your hips, holding them softly.

"Fuck, you're big Haechanie," you moaned softly as he bottomed out in you. You looked down as you started to move watching him go in and out of you. You thought of this moment far too many to count. His hands on your body, lips on your skin.

"Fuck," he sighed, face in the crook of your neck. "T-this feels so good."

"Yeah?"

Haechan nodded moaning softly. His hands moved slowly from your hips down your thighs, squeezing them softly. You took his jaw in your hands gently moving him from the crook of your neck. You leaned down, kissing him with much more passion now. Haechan was completely weak to your touch, desperately kissing you as you started to grind on him faster. Weak whines and whimpers fell onto your tongue as you pressed your body against his.

The soft fabric of his shirt separated his chest from yours, making you sigh onto his lips. "Take this off."

Haechan did as you said, clumsily lifting the shirt over his head and off his body. You let out a soft laugh watching him struggle to get the shirt off his arm, shaking it till it fell on the floor. And just like that, Haechan's lips attached to yours again, arm wrapping around the small of your back as you grinded on top of him. Your moans were like music to his ears, every sense was heightened at the moment.

You pulled away from him slowly, looking down at him with lust filled eyes. "Haechanie,"you moaned softly. "I thought about this so many times." You took one of his hands, placing it on your breast. Haechan looked up at you as if he could melt right there. "Please..just touch me."

"Y/N.." His voice was shaky with pleasure, and it was the cutest thing you ever heard. At this point, he was certain he would cum soon if you kept talking to him like that. The way you moved on top of, the way you squeezed around him almost as if you were made for each other - he's so happy he didn't chicken out of this. "Fuck, I don't know if I can last much longer.."

"It's okay," you nod, completely lost in ecstasy. "Just keep touching me."

Heachan leaned into your chest, licking your nipple softly, looking up at you through his lashes. His hand fondled your chest, squeezing and flicking his tongue over the stiff bud. "Is this okay?"

"Perfect." You were beginning to speed up, feeling your orgasm slowly approaching. At this moment, Haechan let out a soft whine, brows knitting. "I'm so close," you breathed.

"Me..me too." Haechan kissed your breath one more time before sliding his arms back around your back, pulling your body closer to his. You slipped your arms around his neck, hand tangling through his hair. Haechan kissed you eagerly, grunting loudly when he felt you flutter around him. "Shit Y/N I'm gonna cum."

"Cum with me Haechanie." You rest your forehead on his, moans falling from both of your lips. The fire in your stomach exploded almost immediately when you came around him, legs shaking when you squeezed tighter around him. Haechan was so sensitive, never feeling anything like this before, so when you squeezed around him, he came instantly, filling the rubber around his length. The loud gasp and moans from the both of you filled the room, sounds almost a bit pornographic to your ears.

The both of you stayed where you were, catching your breaths still against each other's bodies. Your chest was leaning into his body. Just when you were about to lift yourself off of him, he hugged your body tighter.

"You're the only person I wanted this to happen with," he mumbled.

You smiled, kissing his forehead. "I'm glad you let me."

Haechan sighed, licking his lips before speaking. "I'm sorry if it wasn't what you were hoping for."

You lifted your body, looking down at him with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You probably wanted me to fuck the daylights out of you or something," he chuckled softly. "I'm sorry you had to do all the work."

"Haechanie.." The nickname turned him into a puppy, his brown eyes now staring up at you attentively. "I don't care that I had to do all the work. I had a good time, and I hope you did too considering it was your first time."

Haechan kissed you, but instead of it being lustful, it was sweet. "I really do like you."

"And I like you too." You went into this wanting to just have a physical relationship with him, but it was becoming increasingly clear that you wanted something more, just like him. "I think we should go on a date."

"W-what?" Haechan was completely flustered, cheeks going red almost instantly. "A date? With me?"

You nodded, moving your hands from around his neck. You took his hands that were on you back and placed them on your waist. "Yeah. Tonight or tomorrow, I don't really care. Unless you don't like me that much," you teased.

"No! I'd love to go on a date with you," he answered quickly. "Tomorrow is good."

You gave him a small smile, pecking his lips softly. You lifted your body off of him slowly, sighing when you could no longer feel the pressure between your legs. "Come shower with me?"

"Y-yeah." Haechan stood up, stumbling on his own feet making you laugh.

This day wasn't something he had in his bingo card for the year, but he's glad it happened, especially with you. Hopefully, you wouldn't go home soon because he honestly wanted it again.

[kpopsexstories]

jist recently found out about your acc and WOAH I NEED IT especially the jisung gay one my bottom ass was LIVID now i need a dream version where they treat me like their pocketpussy cause of the dating ban and cause they cant for the life of them have a girl 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i am ready for all 7

Wow, this made even me blush 🤭 Are we doing this? Yes, we are doing this 😄 Let's move on from Jisung, to Heachan...

GAY #3: NCT Haechan 'Dating Ban'

NCT Haechan can’t date. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs (*Requested*)

Content Warning! This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut or this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Haechan x Bottom male reader

Content: Blowjob, Haechan fucks you from behind against a couch

Type of Sex: MEDIUM

Word Count: 3.6k

Click here to read the previous 'Dating Ban' story with NCT's Jisung.

You're on the couch of the NCT Dream communal living room. Haechan is lounging beside you, with bare legs and his feet brushing against your thigh. He's in a dark hoodie and really short shorts.

He's focused on the TV too, but you can swear that he's glanced at you several times since you started the movie. You can sense it in the corner of your eye. His feet have gradually moved closer to you.

They poke your thigh as Haechan stretches out. No biggie. You may be Jisung's best friend, but you're on good terms with all of the boys and feel like you know them pretty well. It actually feels good that they can be so comfortable in your presence.

Haechan suddenly lifts his bare feet and puts them in your lap. You instinctively turn to look at him.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“Sure,” you say and smile at him. You rest your hand on his ankle.

You sit like this for a while, and you can swear Haechan is looking at you again. You become fully aware of it as he appears to keep staring for quite some time.

You begin to stroke his leg. The skin is nice and smooth. Gradually, your strokes get longer. You go to his toes and all the way up to his knee.

Until you reach his thigh. It feels thrilling to touch the man like this, and you're getting closer and closer to sensitive parts. Though he was first to test your boundaries, you wonder at what point he will find your touching weird.

When Haechan doesn't move or stop you, and you keep feeling his gaze upon you, you finally turn to face him.

“Is it true that you and Jisung had sex?” he asks when you look him in the eye.

The question surprises you. You had thought that was something Jisung would want to keep a secret.

“Did he tell you that?” you ask and laugh.

“Yeah. Is it true?”

You hesitate for a moment. “Yes,” you finally admit.

Haechan smiles faintly at you, then adds: “You know, he's not the only one with a dating ban…”

There's no point in dancing around the subject. You've been around, sexually that is, and you can sense where this is going. Haechan's feet near your crotch, your hand on his bare thigh, his curiosity and questions. They must mean something. And yes, if asked, you wouldn't say no to Haechan.

You giggle. “Are you horny?” you ask and let your hand wander higher still. Your fingers are almost touching the bottom of his shorts.

Haechan decides not to dance either. “Yes,” he says.

“Do you want to have sex?” you ask.

“Yes,” Haechan replies.

You smile at the man crookedly. “Haechan… Are you gay?”

“No. But neither is Jisung.”

Fair point, you think. I love this dating ban.

“I'm not some sex toy for you to play with,” you point out.

“Is that a no then?”

Uh-oh, I'm losing him. “I didn't say that.”

“What's it like anyway?” Haechan asks.

“What's what like?”

“Sex with another man.”

You smile wide, turn your body and fold a leg under you as you scoot up on the couch. “Oh, it's wonderful,” you say and lean on your elbow on the backrest of the couch. “An asshole is so much tighter than a pussy.”

Haechan's eyes widen. “Isn't it disgusting?”

“I mean, it is a hole meant for… something else. But no, not if you clean yourself properly before doing it.”

“Doesn't it hurt?”

“It can. But it's individual. It usually doesn't hurt me.”

Haechan gives you a teasing smirk. “Because you're so used to it?”

What he's implying is rude, but it isn't wrong. You've always been promiscuous. You decide to laugh at the joke. “That might be part of it. But I've always been able to take a dick, no problem.”

A moment's pause follows. Then Haechan finally does ask what you've been hoping he'll ask: “Will you take mine?”

Yes! you think. “Hmm, I don't know,” you say, but really only just to tease him back.

Haechan's smile fades and you realize that you might lose him again. To keep the sexual conversation going, you add: “You wouldn't find it disgusting?”

“Are you clean?”

“Always.”

“Then no. Look, last night I fucked a peach. That's how sexually frustrated I am.”

“Gee, such a romantic,” you say and laugh. “I feel so flattered.”

Haechan reaches out and slaps you playfully on the arm. You laugh and jolt, and when you lean back down your hand slides even higher up Haechan's thigh. This time, your fingers reach all the way inside the shorts.

“Alright,” you say. “I'll have sex with you. If that's what you want.”

Haechan's eyes widen again, and his smile is bigger than ever. “Yes!” he says eagerly.

Blowjob starts here…

Without saying anything else you scoot closer to him. You reach all the way in with the hand. You feel the bottom of Haechan's underwear and stick your fingers inside them.

His dick is already growing and he feels a tingle between his legs. You find the dick and touch it, then wrap your fingers around the shaft. It grows to full size in your hand.

Haechan keeps looking at you, and you at him. You stare at each other until you stroke the cock and Haechan closes his eyes, as lust and pleasure takes hold of his body.

He opens his mouth and inhales deeply, then breathes out slowly.

“Does it feel good?” you ask.

“Oh yeah,” Haechan moans. He pulls himself a little higher on the couch.

You follow, half way laying down beside him to reach the cock. You take your arm off the backrest and go for the top of Haechan's shorts.

Slowly, you begin to slide them down. He lets you, and even lifts his ass slightly to aid you.

“How long do we have before the others are back?” he suddenly asks and opens his eyes.

“At least another hour. Don't worry, I have a feeling you'll be done long before then.”

Haechan stares at you as the shorts slide down his hips. You lift his underwear to free his dick, and look on with anticipation as it appears. He pulls his hoodie up to give your hands more space.

You can hardly believe that Haechan is letting you do this, that the straight man wants this, and that, if this is going where it appears to be going, you'll have sexually pleasured two of the Dream team members in two days.

You let go of the dick to pull the shorts all the way down. Haechan lifts his hoodie even higher, revealing his soft tummy. Soon enough, he's laying half naked in front of you while you jerk him off faster.

You wonder where his limits lie. A hand job is one thing, but what would he feel about a blowjob? You decide to find out. You know that you're an excellent sucker, and once Haechan has gotten a taste of that he simply won't be able to say no. You've got him exactly where you want him.

You lean all the way down while looking at him for a reaction. He's got his eyes closed again though and can't see your approach. You decide to act swiftly.

You open your mouth wide and put the full length of the shaft inside it. You build up a significant amount of saliva, then slowly drag your lips upwards, tightly sealed around the cock.

“Holy fuck,” Haechan exclaims when you wet his dick.

You stick out your tongue and play around with it. “You like it?” you ask when the head falls out of your mouth again.

“Oh my God,” Haechan moans. He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it hard. “Yes, don't stop.”

What ensues is a most wonderful blowjob, something Haechan has never experienced before in his life. You have, and you take great pleasure in making the man squirm and moan in front of you.

The blowjob is short though. You lick, kiss and suck for almost a minute, until Haechan is so overcome with the pleasure you spawn in him that he pulls your hair.

“Stop,” he suddenly exclaims. Then he repeats the word, a little calmer when your head becomes frozen in place. “Stop. You're gonna make me come.”

You release the cock and look at him with a smirk. “Isn't that the point?” you ask.

“Yeah, but didn't Jisung get to fuck you?”

“He did. You want that too?”

Haechan looks at you with puppy eyes. “Yes,” he almost whispers.

You work hard to contain your excitement. This is insane! Calmly, you sit up straight and hold out your hand.

Haechan takes it and you both stand up. He follows you, but then pulls your arm when you attempt to lead him into Jisung's bedroom, where you're sleeping during your week-long visit.

“Wait,” he says. “I want to do it here.”

“On the couch?” you ask and raise your eyebrow.

“In the living room. It's not often we have the place to ourselves like this. I want to take full advantage of that.”

“Alright,” you say with a smirk. You let go of the hand and playfully grab Haechan's hard dick. “I'll be right back.”

You turn around and leave the man standing there, half naked and a little confused. You go to Jisung's room to grab a tube of lube from your bag, then disappear into the bathroom.

You smile to yourself when you wonder what Haechan is doing right now. You've left him hanging, and he must wonder what's taking so long.

Let him wait, you think. This is fun.

When you return to the living room, Haechan has taken his shirt off. He's sitting naked on the couch with a pillow covering his crotch. Maybe a part of him is worried that the boys will come home earlier than expected, and he wants to hurry up.

You have the same worry. “Are you sure we shouldn't go to the bedroom?” you ask.

“Yes,” he says. “Just relax.”

You scoff, then giggle. You should be the one who's helping him relax.

With the tube of lube in one hand you hold out the other. Haechan takes it, removes the pillow from his dick and stands up.

“So how…” he begins, but you interrupt him. You pull him closer and kiss him on the lips.

Shit, I shouldn't have done that, you think. But Haechan doesn't seem to mind.

Your eyes meet and you smile softly at each other. Your hand falls down his side and grabs the still hard cock. Then you take his arm and guide it, to the front of your pants.

“Take them off me,” you whisper.

To your delight Haechan is quick to comply. He undoes the button and pulls down the zipper.

With your pants half open, you walk to the side of the couch. You gently pull Haechan's arm to encourage him to go with you. You stand facing the couch and lean on the armrest with one hand, guiding Haechan to go behind you with the other.

You put his hand on your hip, then yours on the couch. You spread your legs slightly and straighten your spine, bending your body in an almost ninety degree angle.

“Take them off,” you say and turn your head, to see the man in the corner of your eye. This is a test. You don't want to push him, but want to see if he's willing to work for what he's asked for.

Haechan looks down, grabs the top of your pants and underwear, and slowly starts to pull. The seams round your cheeks and your ass is revealed. He strokes it softly while taking in the sight.

“Here,” you say and hand him the tube. “Put some in your hand and rub it on your dick.”

Haechan seems to take forever. You reaffirm your stance and spread your legs a little more, and move your elbows closer together on the armrest.

Eventually, Haechan returns the tube by holding his hand out beside you. “Done,” he says in a cheerful tone.

You bend your spine and hunch over, to reach in between your legs. You find your asshole and stick a finger in it. Haechan has a hand on your hip, just below your shirt.

“Get closer,” you say. Haechan takes a small step forward, and you feel the dick brush against your cheeks. You reach in even further. “Right here.”

Sex starts here…

Haechan understands the instruction. He takes his cock and puts it near the hole. You stretch yourself with your fingers, until you feel the head press against them. You pout your ass to help Haechan get into position.

When the head is pushing harder against your asshole, you remove your hand and instead reach around your body. You find Haechan's naked ass and pull him closer still. His hand becomes firmer around your hip, and he holds his breath when the slippery cock eventually slides inside.

“Ahh,” you moan, partly to encourage the man. “Oh yeah, fuck me Haechan.”

It does the trick. The hard part is over. If Haechan ever had any reservations – which his initial questions suggest that he did but which his actions seem to prove that he does not – he's already overcome them. Now, all that remains is to make him come, and you secretly hope that he'll go all the way and do so in your ass.

When the shaft is half way in, Haechan begins to rock his hips slowly back and forth. He's still quiet and you wonder what is going through his head. But as he grows comfortable with the sensation, and the reality of what you're doing, he gradually picks up the pace.

“Oh, yes, fuck me,” you moan again, hoping that it will help him feel more relaxed. “Yes, Haechan, fuck me.”

You feel a second hand on your hips, as he grabs you tighter and thrusts a little harder into you.

“Faster,” you encourage. He heeds your words and starts to pull your whole body onto his shaft.

“Yes, that's it,” you say. “Yes, yes, yes!”

Haechan is deep inside you, fucking you fast and hard from behind, grimacing and grunting occasionally while pulling your hair with an arm stretched long above your back. Your legs are spread wide and your head is tilted so far back you face the ceiling. Your eyes are closed and your mouth wide open, and you clench the front of your shirt to hold it up and keep it from falling down onto your ass and Haechan's hands and cock.

“Oh, yes, ahh, fuck me, fuck me!” you almost scream repeatedly. “Yes, yes, ahh, your cock feels so good, yes, Haechan, you're amazing.”

The way you submit yourself to him and allow him to fuck your ass so passionately proves to be an immense turn-on for Haechan. Maybe it's the deeply rooted sexual frustration, caused by the now infamous dating ban, but you'd like to think that the man is not as straight as he might claim to be. Maybe he's hiding it, from the world and maybe even from himself, another possible consequence of strict SM policies and cultural taboos.

Whatever the case, the sex is great. You love Haechan's dick inside you, and judging from his eager thrusts and lustful grunts, he's loving it too. You're surprised by how much he's evolved since you sat on the couch and stroke his legs.

The couch is shaking violently on the floor and you let out another scream. You can hear Haechan pant behind you, as he lets loose and puts and end to God knows how many months of sexual frustration.

He does not get to come, however, before the sex is unexpectedly interrupted.

“What the fuck?” a voice suddenly exclaims.

You immediately stand up straight and grab a pillow to cover your crotch. Haechan pulls you closer, slipping his cock in deeper, as he's trying to hide behind your half naked body.

Chenle is standing in the door. He stares at you with his mouth wide open, then bursts out in an instant fit of laughter.

“Go away Chenle!” Haechan shouts. But rather than pulling out he only holds you tighter and pulls you closer.

Chenle looks away, but doesn't stop laughing.

“Are you alone?” you ask calmly.

“Yeah,” Chenle says. “But I can call the others and tell them to hurry back.”

“Don't,” Haechan pleads. “Please, Chenle. Go to your room.”

Chenle calms himself and looks at the spectacle again. “I mean, I don't want to interrupt your… fun time,” he says and waves his hand as if painting a picture of whatever it is he's witnessing.

“Thank you,” Haechan says, and to your surprise he's not ending the sex right then and there the way you expect him to do. “We're nearly done, just let me finish.”

“Take your time,” Chenle says and walks away. You hear his door closing behind him.

You turn your head and giggle. “What the fuck?” you ask, having just gone through a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

Haechan begins to laugh too. Then you feel his body relax behind you, as he gently pulls up your shirt while slowly thrusting forward, pressing his pelvis against your ass cheeks.

“Wait, you don't want to stop?” you ask, genuinely confused by the situation. “Shouldn't we?”

“Why?” Haechan asks. “It's only Chenle. He's already seen us anyway, so what's the point? You don't want to help me?”

You scoff at the remark. What does the man think you're doing? But hey, if he wants to continue, you don't want to back out now either.

So you reach behind your head and push on Haechan's neck. His cheek brushes against yours as he rests his chin on your shoulder. He wraps his arms around your chest and stomach, gliding them all over your body and inside your shirt.

Gradually, his gentle thrusts begin to pick up the pace again, and you suddenly feel the need to be completely quiet. There's no more screaming or violent thrusting, only shallow breaths and gentle moans, as you pull your shirt higher and Haechan holds you tighter.

His thrusts remain slow but hard. He takes his time when he pulls back, but jolts each time he thrusts hard and fast back in. He repeats the sequence, a little faster and harder each time.

You open your mouth again and tilt your head back. Still with your hand on his neck you moan softly each time he hits you, and his cock is jammed inside you.

You feel his breath on your skin and hear him panting by your ear. You don't want this to end, but know that any of the others could return at any moment. Or Chenle might grow weary of staying in his room.

“Oh yeah, come for me baby,” you say, partly to encourage Haechan to finish.

He stops moving his hands and buries his face in your neck. He holds you tight around the chest while thrusting hard. He keeps going at a steady pace, until he's finally brought over the edge.

“Ah, yes, come for me,” you whisper when he holds his breath and plants his lips on your skin. ”Come inside me.”

Haechan eventually jolts a final time, and you can tell that it's the finish line from the way he grunts and suddenly digs his fingers into your skin.

He erupts inside you, releasing his load in a powerful explosion. He hasn't been this horny and felt such a strong orgasm since before the last time he had sex. Or maybe ever, at least you'd like to believe that. Regardless, the long period of sexless existence is over for him, or at least reset at zero.

“Ahhh,” he sighs deeply when he's finished, and his body comes down from his orgasm.

“Mm,” you moan. “Holy shit, you're so good Haechan.”

You can feel his smile against your skin. “No, you are,” he says softly. “Thank you.”

You turn your head to kiss his cheek. “You're welcome babe.”

Now that it's over, however, you're quick to push him away, encouraging him to pull out. You don't want anyone else to see you, and you wonder how you can explain all this to Chenle.

But then you realize that maybe Chenle is more Haechan's problem than yours. You should probably worry more about Jisung, and what he might think of what you and Haechan have done. You have no idea if your best friend will laugh or get mad, if he ever finds out.

You wonder if you should tell him or not, and whether Haechan will. The boys all seem to be very tight.

For now, you decide to let it go. What's done is done. You release your shirt and pull your pants back up, and help Haechan gather his clothes. He too gets dressed, and when your eyes meet he smiles wide at you.

You smile back. You're happy to be of service, because maybe you wanted this even more than Haechan did. It really was good sex.

“You can come out now,” Haechan suddenly shouts.

“Okay, thanks,” Chenle yells back, but he doesn't open the door.

You sit back down on the couch, and Haechan lays down beside you. You un-pause the movie and Haechan immediately puts his feet in your lap again. You watch in silence while you gently stroke his legs, get fully into the movie, and wait for the boys to return.

Click here to read the previous 'Dating Ban' story with NCT's Jisung.

Click here to buy me a coffee.

[sleeping-sirens]

hey nimi, i hope you’re well! i really loved the drabble you did “morning with haechan” and i was wondering if you could write a scenario with mark maybe teaching f reader how to speak korean + every time she gets it correct, he’ll reward her with a kiss or smth (i like to think mark would actually be really affectionate to his partner) 🥹 thank you <3 this was inspired by mark helping jaemin speak english, it was such a sweet scene, here’s the link: https://twitter.com/markclty/status/1640862192810569728?s=46&t=Tq9aSdZbZ4voR3kbqgerrw

가르쳐 줘 (teach me) 𖤐 lee mark

pairing : idol mark x f reader.

genre : lots of fluffffffff, domestic, established relationship.

summary : what the request said, and i also was inspired by his moment with jungwoo in their relay cam where each had to come up with a word that starts with what the previous word that’s been said ended with (idk if i explained that right but you can watch it here if you still haven’t 🥹).

word count : 2810 words.

warnings : mark whispering that’s my girl this is a huge warning😵‍💫 and maybe suggestive towards the end? other than that everything is just so cute and wholesome 😭🥹🫶🏼

a/n : hey anon! i hope you enjoyed this! sorry it took too long i was just trying to organize my thoughts as my brain is just rotting with heachan 😵‍💫 but i wanted to prioritize your request before i can proceed with writing my haechan thoughts down haha 😋 also i wanted to thank you for reading and enjoying my morning with haechan drabble that’s so sweet from you!!🫶🏼🥹 and i would be EXTREMELY happy if you could tell me what you think of this through an ask😭 i’d love to hear your opinion as i already did a request before this one and i’ve never gotten any feedback so i was a bit sad :(( anywayssss without further ado, please enjoy!!💘💞💕💖💗💓

masterlist

buy me a coffee🥹🫶🏼

the kitchen was quiet again after you turned off the water boiler. with the tea bags already tucked inside the two mugs on the counter, you poured the hot water and watched as it quickly changed its color, from clear to deep red. the steam created small clouds that kept disappearing into the air as you took your mug in both hands to warm your palms before placing it on a platter, followed by your boyfriend’s.

the gloomy weather outside made you feel calm and collected, and your body moved smoothly around the kitchen as you tried to cut some pieces of cake, along some strawberries and bananas for you and your boyfriend to munch on while chilling in the living room. it was a sunday, a rare day for mark to have some rest and just relax at home and you were so happy that you guys were going to spend some time together after ages of him being busy.

from the small distance separating the kitchen and the living room, you could hear him talking on the phone. you heard him say 엄마 (eomma) a few times, and you could easily understand that he was talking to his mother on the phone. other than that, you were quite clueless about what he was saying.

sometimes you’d feel so left out of his life, you wanted to be part of everything that made him be the person that he was today. mark never once made you feel a difference because of the language barrier, you guys communicate easily in english but sometimes you just wish you could understand more than just a few words of his mother tongue.

you bit your lip slightly as you gazed at him from your standing position in the kitchen. his voice was smooth, almost dripping with warm honey, the words sounding more gruff and slurred than usual, which signaled that he was indeed relaxed but also very tired that just one day of rest won’t be enough to make it up for all the work load that’s been on his shoulders.

your eyes softened on him, your tea long forgotten as you just relished in the sound of his small and sweet voice. he looked so cute curled up in the far side of the couch, head lying in the arm rest as his fingers raked mindlessly through his disheveled blue strands of hair.

his eyes would close for longer seconds and sometimes he would just opt for humming an answer instead of taking the time to formulate a coherent one. your heart swelled as you looked at him.

“my baby…” you sighed under your breath.

your gaze was lingering on him too long he felt it burning on his skin, which made him throw a look up in your direction. his tongue poked the corner of his mouth while a smile bloomed on his lips, his eyebrows jumped up his forehead into a questioning look, asking you if you were okay with a tilt of his face but you just smiled at him, shaking your head.

“tell her i said hi,” you whispered to him and he nodded in response, quickly translating your phrase into korean.

you were fascinated to say the least, you’ve always been. the way mark quickly switched from english to korean, or sometimes mixing both the languages in one phrase was effortlessly attractive to you.

at first you tried to learn the language secretly from him, thinking about surprising him with it in the future, but as you went on, your hopes have diminished as it got harder with every grammar lesson, and not to start talking about the vocabulary… mark knew that you started learning korean and everyday he would be so proud to be with someone like you, to be loved by someone like you.

the fact that you decided to sacrifice some time out of your day to learn the language that he grew up with, the language that linked him with his family and his roots, the language in which mark felt home made him fall even deeper in love with you. and he was always so happy to help you with it.

“i’ll never be enough for you,” you sniffled, letting go of the pencil you had between your fingers before hugging your knees closer to your chest.

when mark saw the effort you were making in learning his mother tongue, his heart swelled and grew larger inside his chest, that he wanted to physically grab it and put it back in its place.

“sweetheart, why haven’t you told me?” he scooted closer to your body that was sitting on the floor, pushing your notebook and pencil case aside and engulfing you in a warm embrace. “i could teach you,” his fingers gently rubbed your arm in a comforting manner. he made you feel so loved with just small and tender touches.

“you would?” you whispered, finally looking up at him.

mark wiped your tears with the back of his index finger, a love foolish smile illuminating his face. “of course i would. let me see your notebook, we’ll start with the basics.”

that was the conversation you guys had a few weeks ago and since then, mark has never stopped taking some time to help you learn the language little by little.

when the call with his mother ended, you grabbed the platter with the tea mugs, cake and cut up fruits and went to sit next to him on the couch.

“how’s your family?” you asked as you handed his tea mug over to him.

“thanks babe,” mark sat up straight and quickly took the cup from your hands, giving you a quick peck on the lips as a thank you before he answered your question. “they’re doing good, they’re on a vacation in gangwon right now.” he talked before taking a sip.

“really? it’s cold right now to be in a beach area,” you wondered, plopping a strawberry inside your mouth.

“exactly,” mark swallowed his cake bite, “their plan was to see the snow on the beach.” his eyes traveled up to give you an encouraging look, the words being something you knew the translation to them in korean.

you quickly understood your assignment. “해변에 눈 (haebyeon-ae noon),” you smiled as you answered confidently.

“good job, babe,” he scrunched his nose at you, following it by a bright smile. “let’s see if you can translate another word, how about that?”

“mark, this is supposed to be your rest day,” you laughed, leaning on his shoulder.

“i am resting,” he reassured, his hand reaching out to secure your head on his shoulder when you wanted to pull away from his body. this little action was enough to send your heart into a frenzy of heartbeats and butterflies.

“mmm,” mark hummed, the vibrations of his voice spreading throughout your body and making you feel at ease. “if you could tell me what we’re doing right now, in korean, i’ll reward you with something.”

“what would that be?” you asked, wittingly.

“the reward?”

you hummed as a yes.

“i’ll let you know when you give an answer, and it needs to be right.”

“mark,” you whined. “that’s unfair!”

“how would that be unfair babe,” mark laughed, his body rocking along yours. “i know you can do it, come on.”

“uhmm, right now we are…” you started thinking, the words coming inside your brain in english first. “drinking tea?”

“yes…in korean?” mark encouraged you to continue.

“지금…“

”ooooohhhhh,” mark reacted too quickly, rubbing your arm and tapping on it encouragingly, already being impressed by you translating one of the most basic words in korean. you were so proud and so happy that he easily made you feel so confident.

“차를 마셔요 (cha-reul masheoyeo)” you articulated slowly, still very much unsure of your translation skills.

“very good baby,” mark pecked your temple. “but what did we learn about actions that are currently happening in time? right now it’s like you said “we drink tea” but there’s a specific way to say “we’re drinking tea”, you remember?”

you hummed in question again. “마시고 있어요 (mashigo isseoyeo)?”

“very good job baby!” mark ruffled your hair and engulfed you in a big hug, pressing your face in his chest. he was very happy and excited that you got it right.

you were happy as well and you started giggling out of nowhere. “let’s do something else.”

“oooohhhh we’re confident now, are we?” he joked which made you slap his chest gently.

“you told me there was a reward, so i’m all in or nothing.”

“okay,” mark chuckled, scratching his chin. “how would you say that the weather is cold outside and you just wanna chill with your talented and handsome boyfriend?”

“that’s intermediate level mark, i’m still a beginner.”

“come on babe, i know you can do it.” he made you pull away from his chest and positioned you to be sitting in front of him on the couch. he stretched his legs in a way that you would be sitting between them before he wrapped them behind your back and pulled you closer to his body.

the heat raised to your ear at his swift movement and the proximity of his body made your heart beat like crazy. mark’s hands reached for your thighs and spread them so he could be positioned in the middle of them as well, before helping you wrap them around his waist.

inside your head, you just tried to control your breathing. your brain felt mushy, thoughts evaporating while your ears buzzed with exhilaration. your pupils dilated as you fixated mark’s face, your gaze zeroing on the mole on his face to avoid looking directly into his eyes.

“babe?” he tapped on your cheek and chuckled when he saw your flustered state. “you’re zoning out, there’s a reward remember?”

“yeah…yes! the reward,” you laughed nervously, wondering what the reward would be. you were already trembling and your heart was palpitating with mark’s face being so close to yours, you could feel his breath fanning over your skin.

“okay, let’s start with translating “the weather is cold outside” first, then we’ll go from there.” he guided you.

you nodded, clearing your throat. mark’s hands rubbed your knees, massaging all over the area to help you relax and concentrate but you were failing miserably as the only thing you could think of was how he was touching you.

you felt so bad ruining such a wholesome moment with your intrusive thoughts but you were just so in love with mark that every little touch still made you feel all giddy.

you bit your lip, inhaling deeply from your nose.

“don’t be nervous,” mark whispered, nodding his head to encourage you to speak.

“추워 (chuweo)…”

“come on babe, give me a full sentence.” he smiled but you just couldn’t get your brain to function properly, you could neither return the smile nor think of what to say. “what did we say about the weather? you learned this word not long ago.”

“i know it starts with an “N”…” you mumbled, your eyes looking everywhere.

“right!” he exclaimed, leaning in to give you a small kiss on the cheek. “here’s a small reward for remembering the start of the word.”

your heart was going to burst out of your chest at how kind and patient mark was with you. and you tried so hard to get the sentence right so you could see his proud smile blooming on his face again.

“날씨가 추워요 (nalssi-ga chuwoyeo)-“you stopped before he could react, “mark i don’t know how to say outside in korean,” you pouted, looking down at your fiddling fingers.

“it’s okay baby, you’re doing so good already.” he ruffled your hair again before noticing your fiddling fingers. he placed his palms on your hand in a calming manner. “in korean it’s okay to drop the word outside in a sentence, just saying the weather is cold (날씨가 추워요) is enough. but in case you want to use it in a sentence in the future, outside is 밖 (bakk). if you want to use it, you need to pair it with 에 (e) or 은 (eun), depends on the sentence.”

you listened carefully to his explanation, while playing with his fingers instead of fiddling with yours.

“so the full sentence would be 밖은 날씨가 추워요 (bakk-eun nalssoga chuwoyeo)?”

“exactly! good job baby,” mark clapped as he saw the relieved smile appear on your face. “now for the second part of the sentence.”

“what was it again? the second sentence?” you sheepishly asked, laughing nervously.

mark raised his eyebrow at you, a poor attempt at flirting with you and you laughed so hard at that. he started leaning closer to you, with his eyebrow still raised. you tried to stop him from getting closer by putting your hands on his shoulders, both of you laughing so hard at each other.

“mark what are you doing?” you asked through the fit of laughter that was going on between you. mark bit his lip, exaggerating his flirtatious action.

“maaaark,” you whined. “stop!” your stomach hurt from how hard you were laughing and he was laughing just as hard as you.

“okay okay,” he surrendered, raising his hands in defeat. “the sentence was “i just want to chill with my talented and handsome boyfriend” now come on.”

“is talented and handsome mandatory?” you laughed, rolling your eyes jokingly.

“of course! if you want to learn korean, you need to know the right words to compliment me with,” he tilted his head to the side, his long fringe draping over his round eyes, “or nah?” he whispered the last word, his voice going an octave deeper.

you cleared your throat. “right, of course, but i only know handsome in korean.”

“mmhm,” mark hummed, squinting his eyes. “that’s not bad already. you know what, skip talented, let’s leave it for a later session, how about that?”

you laughed at his attempts at flirting with you. he was just so cute and so effortlessly attractive with just acting boyish and love foolish. and you loved him just the way he was. you loved his nervousness and you loved the way he would stumble upon his own words sometimes. but most of all, you loved how he always made sure to show you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him. with his encouragement and kind words always warming your heart, you were certain that your heart was in good hands.

you loved him openly and without any restraints. never once being afraid of him breaking your heart. and you promised to be just as good with him as he was with you.

without realizing it, you leaned closer to his cheek where you placed a soft kiss on his skin. and he gave you a questioning look. “thank you for being patient with me mark.”

he smiled as a response. “of course babe.” he rubbed your hand with his thumb before nudging you to continue your assignment.

“okay, so… we said 밖은 날씨가 추워요, now we’re gonna say…잘 생긴 남자 친구와 (jalsaeng-in namjachingu-wa) chill…how do we say chill in korean?”

“just go with chill, that’s alright.” mark smiled.

“okay,” you nodded. “잘 생긴 남자 친구와 chill하고 싶어요 (jalsaeng-in namjachingu-wa chill-hago sipeoyo).”

“perfect!” mark smiled so bright, squeezing your cheeks between his palms until your lips pouted. “that’s my girl,” he whispered before leaning closer to you and kissing you softly on the lips.

your breath hitched inside your throat, and mark noticed it and tried to calm you down and help you get into the kiss by playing with the hair on your nape. he smiled into your lips when you started kissing him back, sneaking your hands around his waist. eagerly, mark brushed his hands down your back before clutching on your thighs and helping you sit on his lap, without breaking the kiss.

“you did so good today you deserve to be kissed until you lose your breath.” mark whispered, his soft breath numbing your puffy lips, making them feel tingly and itching for another kiss.

“is that my reward?” you breathlessly asked, wrapping your arms around his neck, your nose brushing over his.

“you don’t like it?” he looked up at you with hooded eyes. he looked worried, and you played with his neck to show him just how much you loved to be kissed by him.

“i love it!” you breathed out, finally crashing your lips on his, making him emit a low hum from his throat.

did someone say you prepared some cut up fruits for the both of you to enjoy on his rest day? those didn’t even compare to the plenty of kisses you guys were going to give each other.

[galacticseonghwa]

☆ NCT SERIES ☆

current, upcoming, finished and discontinued nct series

DONG SICHENG

→ Chasing Love (upcoming) [older ceo!winwin x fem!reader]

0.0 y/n profiles 0.1. winwin profiles

HUANG RENJUN

→ Rainbow (upcoming) [non idol!renjun x fem!reader]

0. profiles 1. chapter one

LEE JENO

→ Faster N Harder (current) [biker!jeno x fem!reader]

masterlist 0. profiles 1. chapter one 2. chapter two

LEE HAECHAN

→ Nevertheless (upcoming) [fwb!heachan x fem!reader]

0. profiles 1. chapter one 2. chapter two

LIU YANG YANG

→ Nothing Matters in Paris (ON HOLD) ["teacher"!yang yang x student fem!reader]

0. profiles 1. chapter one 2. chapter two

NA JAE MIN

→ I’m Not The Enigma (upcoming) [character!jaemin x character fem!reader]

1. profiles 2. chapter one

ZHONG CHEN LE

→ Bloodied Lover (upcoming) [vampire!chenle x human fem!reader]

0. profiles 1. chapter one 2. chapter two 3. chapter three

→ Será Una Noche Inovoldiable (current) [biker!chenle x fem!reader]

0. masterlist 0.1 y/n profiles 0.2 chenle profiles 1. you're always number one xx 2. she’s OUR gf now 3. stole your rich lingo 4. chat is this real? 5. my daughter is sad 6. you guys had a gay kiss

PARK JI SUNG

→ I See You 2 (upcoming) [stalker!chenle x stalker fem!reader]

0. profiles 1. chapter one

i'm a VERY slow writer, so please keep that in mind as you're waiting for updates and such from any of the series.

request to be in my taglist here

[yueisyum]

Don’t think about it (part three) (teaser)

genre♥️ friends trip au, enemies-ish (not really) to fwb to lovers

pairings ☎️ conflicted donghyuck x oblivious reader

warnings 🚨mentions of / alcohol consumption, sexual tension, maybe? smut? Use of nicknames, angsty!!!! Arguing? Sadness? Angst!!! Talking about love and the fear of love! (Philophobia)

|| Note: idk… this is just an itsy bitsy teaser!! || Because I feel like I haven’t been feeding y’all || enough!!! Ya know? Anyways lmk what you guys || think will actually happen in the story 🫣

One more thing! If you see any mistakes or spelling errors please comment so I can go in and fix it. Or if you have any suggestions don’t buy shy; lmk!! 😘

Muffled Music blared your ears, drawing you from your sleep. It was still dark out, but Haechan was still next to you. You were tired, but relived to feel his presence.

“What time is it?” you ask, Not bothering to check if he was awake.

“Don’t know” he responded, his voice far from tried or drowsy. You drew back to look at him, his body facing you. Haechans eyes find yours as soon as your body turns to him.

“Have you been awake?” He tried to act as if he had also just woken up. “Huh? No?”

You slightly sit up on the bed. “You totally were- you were watching me sleep!” You announce with a grin on your face.

“No, that would be creepy, and boring. On the other hand, watching you shower-“ you punch him and settle back down into the bed with a soft laugh. He winces but joins your laughter.

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” heachan began, turning over to sit up strait. “…And believe me, I am” looking down at you with a stupid smirk. “I’m afraid you have to go”

You paused for a moment.

Oh

Oh

Was all of this really just sex? You can’t believe that you let your mind slip- to forget that this isn’t real, for this long at that.

It’s just two friends helping each other out.

You reminded yourself.

Haechan pouted when he saw the look on your face, afraid you got the wrong idea. “Jenos been blowing up your phone. He’s wondering why you’re not joining the party, or why he can’t find you” He informs, hoping to ease the thoughts he knows have filled your mind. Your phone was in his hands, and you grabbed it. Looking through the notifications, you curse yourself- or Jeno actually.

Oh- Damn you jeno! What could he possibly need right now?

You sigh dramatically into your palms.

“I know” he said, his smile growing wider. “I wouldn’t want to leave me either”

You rolled your eyes and scouted from underneath the covers and his side. “Now you’ve ruined it.”

“Just as I intended” he chuckled leaning back against the headboard, watching you make your way to the door.

It physically pained you to leave him. But you won’t acknowledge it more then that.

“Y/n”

“Hyuck?”

“You can keep my shirt, it looks sexier on you”

“Ass” You replied, and grin plastered on your face, against your will. Then you opened the door and left with your phone in hand, making your way down the hallway.

Taglist- I didn’t know if I should tag y’all, because it is just the teaser- but I’ll do it just in case

@nctzennikki09 @mings-cafe @gaeulswrld @chimiwimi

[k-vanity]

25 Tips for Surviving the Holidays Masterlist

Happy Holidays! We'd like to thank the participants in our holiday event! Here are our lovely creators' works!

❄️ First Snow by @iibonniee

pairing: Chae Hyungwon x Reader

prompt: Day 1 - first snow

❄️ Snowball Fight by @iibonniee

pairing: Yoo Kihyun x Reader

prompt: Day 2 - snowball fight

❄️ Ugly Sweater by @iibonniee

pairing: Lee Jooheon x Reader

prompt: Day 3 - ugly sweater

❄️ Ice Skating by @iibonniee

pairing: Chae Hyungwon x Reader

prompt: Day 8 - ice skating

❄️ All Roads Lead Back to You by @the-boy-meets-evil

pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Reader (f)

prompt: Day 11 - cabin vacation

❄️ All I Want for Christmas by @the-boy-meets-evil

pairing: Xu Minghao x Reader (f)

prompt: Day 14 - secret santa

❄️ Stuck With You by @hongcherry

pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Reader (afab)

prompt: Day 19 - snow day/snowed in

❄️ Kookies by @spacequokka

pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

prompt: Day 20 - baking cookies

❄️ Wrapped Up In You by @wooahaeproductions

pairing: Lee Donghyuck (Heachan) x Reader (gn)

prompt: Day 21 - wrapping presents

❄️ Mistletoe by @sanjoongie

pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader (f)

prompt: Day 24 - mistletoe

❄️ Mistletoe by @spacequokka

pairing: Han Jisung x Reader (f)

prompt: Day 24 - mistletoe

❄️ A New Home for the Holidays by @the-boy-meets-evil

pairing: Lee Jihoon (Woozi) x Reader (afab)

prompt: Day 25 - christmas

[movedtone0mile]

spin the bottle (teaser)

college AU

mark x popular!reader

warnings: smut, mention of alcohol, brief jock johnny x reader, chenle is a reader hater, spin the bottle, bad english probably, OBVIOUSLY not proof read

« So are you going to talk to her or just spend the night sitting here with me? » Chenle raised his eyes from the game he has been playing on his phone since he arrived one hour and a half ago, to stare at his friend sitting beside him on the couch.

« What? What are you talking about man? » Mark answered, puzzled. He seriously thought he had been discreet in his staring and fidgeting.

« Oh so now you think I’m a dumbass. » His friend raised his eyes to the sky, before resuming his game of whatever he was playing. « Do you really think she’s going to notice you if you just stay here, staring into her soul? »

Mark’s eyebrows furrowed as he mumbled: « She doesn’t need to notice me she already knows who I am… » and his cheeks reddened when Chenle shot him a glance that made him realize he had just admitted that he was, indeed, staring at you.

Mark had arrived at the party about fifteen minutes before Chenle, and you were already there: a red cup in hand as you were chatting with some friends of yours. Starstruck by your smile, and bewitched by the outfit you had decided to wear tonight, Mark had not been able to engage in any discussion or activities, other than admiring you from afar.

Mark has had the biggest crush on you for a few months now. You weren’t exactly friends but have been paired for a few class projects before and when you saw each other on campus you always shot him your brightest smile, and even sometimes, when you were feeling it, he was lucky enough to get a kiss on his cheek. This, had Mark’s friends tell him that you certainly had a thing for him as well, but he couldn’t be quite so sure.

Being one of the most popular girls on campus, he could not imagine you being interested in a guy like him, when you could easily get any of the hot jocks he always saw you hanging out with. Plus, you somehow behaved like this with everyone, he was not the first boy you have kissed, or hugged in the hallways, and was certainly not the last one.

So no, Mark was not as convinced as some of his friends that his crush on you was mutual. But, he wouldn’t miss a chance to interact with you though, or well, at least to see you…

Tonight Ten Lee was throwing a party and the whole campus was invited, as the huge manor of his parents was located not far away from campus. And of course, you would attend (Ten must have even invited you and your friends personally), and so would Mark.

But as you were now dancing between Johnny and Jaehyun, he couldn’t get himself to stand up and try anything. He watched you throw your arms around Jaehyun’s neck and Johnny’s hands grip your hips while you swayed your hips to the beat. Hell, how was he supposed to make a move?

« I told you not to believe Haechan ». Apparently Chenle had caught up on the situation too, and felt the need to let Mark know that he was probably right to never support his crush on you. In Chenle’s eyes, you were just some bimbo who probably spent more time hooking up with jocks rather than studying, which was what uni was supposed to be for. You were not meant for Mark, and he was certainly not your type anyway.

« I know dude just- just don’t say it like that ok? » Mark groaned.

« Don’t want you to get your hopes up. »

꧁ ♡ ꧂

When Kim Jungwoo came in the room and shouted that they were playing spin the bottle in the other living room, Chenle decided that he had enough and was going home, offering Mark a ride back, which he almost accepted. But that was before he saw you and Haechan giggling together and walking up to the living room the game was taking place. He couldn’t believe his eyes, what the fuck was he up to?? Mark got up and followed the two of you to the room a group was gathering in.

When he spotted Heachan again, he was sitting not so far from you and was beckoning him to come sit next to him. He did so and immediately started questioning him: « what the fuck bro? What are we doing here? And why were you laughing with Y/N?? » he shouted-whispered his last question for you to not to hear it.

« Mark try to think and be thankful for once in your life! » Seeing that his friend still looked puzzled, Haechan went on with his explanation. « Since you couldn’t have the balls to make a move on Y/N, I got you maybe your only chance to actually kiss her! »

Mark’s eyes went from Jungwoo putting an empty glass bottle in the middle of the circle the group had formed to you, four persons afar, as the dots finally started to connect in his mind.

« Thank you Donghyuck! » Haechan mimicked with an intentionally ridiculous voice.

« B-but what if the bottle lands on you?? »

Haechan waved « don’t worry it always stops in between two people, I’ll just say that it is closest to you. »

Mark shrugged, Haechan was always so confident in what he said. As if Mark and Haechan were the only two people you could land on in spin the bottle.