#headmage swap

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#426 RELEASE HIM

In NRC-PE ...still

Ambrose: Annnd TIME!*presses the button for the timer and smiles at the class*Good job, everybody!

Trey*Slightly out of breath and smiles also*Yeah I think we've ever done any training exercise

Ambrose: FASTEST YOU ALL DONE? I think you broke a school record! By Merlin's beard!*Chuckles at that*

Cater: Yeah EVEN Idia finished on time!

Idia*Looks slightly offended*E-eh?T-the hell you mean "Even Idia finished on time~"!

Leona: Man shut up, Night Light*Hisses at Idia, and rolls his eyes*

Idia:....Yeah y-you r-right*shrugs and nods*

Leona: Listen this exercise is fuckin' weak,OF COURSE it's gonna be easier if most of the fuckin obstacles are gone

Ambrose: There are no other obstacles...

Cater: Um...What?

Ambrose: This is a very straightforward mock training, What other obstacles are you talking about?

Rook, Vil, Malleus, and Lilia look at each other wondering if they should tell Ambrose...

RSA...Also PE still

Yuu*Looking at the class with A Vargas Jumpsuit on*Okay so it's a very simple mock rescue mission, All you have to do: Is get in and get out, Even you FAILURES can handle that

Student1*Stretching and feeling confident*Oh Okay

Student2:We totally done this before! We got it in the bag!

The rest of the class is getting ready to start the rescue on the field, You stay and sit in the Gym office, looking at the monitors

Yuu*Sits down and grabs a tablet tapping a button*Hehehee~Now~ Collapse trees~

RSA:aaaaaahAAAAgh!?

Yuu: Set one side on fire~And Flood the other one~

RSA:aaaaaahAAGH!

Student5:WHAT THE F-OH MY FUCKING SEVENS!?-

Yuu: And Just for fun~RELEASE THE BABY!*Set Grim free to do as much chaos as he can with his fireballs*Hehehe~

Student1:AAAH NOT THE CAT AGAIN!?!-GET HIM OFF MY FACE!?-

Part 4 of:

[ventique18]

~ Malleus and his self-expression in the Japanese language ~

Just a few random things that Malleus enthusiasts might find interesting...

As we're probably aware of by now, the English version is not exactly a 1-1 translation of the Japanese version. This is unavoidable, as a lot of culture nuances just can't be faithfully expressed without having to explain them in detail like this. One of those is Malleus' way of talking. He's often presented in English as talking as if he woke up straight from the Victorian era; and while that's also true in Japanese as he talks somewhat formally, there's something about his self-expression that wasn't carried over in the English version: in that he speaks in a masculine way.

In Japanese, there are typically three ways that a person can express themselves through speech: feminine, gender-neutral, and masculine. There's also varying degrees of these three depending on "bluntness" or "softness"-- and when you think mega blunt, you can imagine Leona's way of speaking that's actually accurate to how he physically acts. The thing is, Malleus also practically talks like that; just removing some pronouns and particles that would come off as rude.

Basically, he talks in an assertive, masculine way while actively avoiding mansplaining superiority to his conversation partners, which Leona and a few others tend to do.

Another interesting thing to point out is what some of you might have noticed in the audio: his preference of using "Boku" as a personal pronoun. Boku is one of the pronouns used by masculine people. While "Ore", which Leona uses, is more masculine, it's not Malleus' preference as it comes off as a lot more aggressive while Boku is more polite. This is why Ore is also frequently used by most men (people can swap pronouns depending on the situation!) when they're in casual situations; because it gives off a message that they do not appreciate being submissive among peers. If you've noticed, Ace, angry Deuce, and most of the third years use Ore as their pronoun.

The last mentioned point is important, because you might question why doesn't Malleus use Ore as his pronoun when he's literally higher ranking/more important than anyone else in the school? Because it's more formal than Ore, and this is just my personal conjecture, but it gives off a mighty message that he doesn't even need words or pronouns to assert how naturally dominant he is.

But if he likes being formal that much, why doesn't he just use the very formal pronoun "Watashi", like the headmage Crowley? Because, going back to the very first point, Boku suggests masculinity while Watashi does not. He also actually doesn't structure his sentence in an overly formal way like the headmage because doing so would omit the air of masculinity which he rather prefers.

So yeah, that's just an interesting topic I thought some would be curious about. The first time I heard him, I also didn't expect he'd express himself in an assertive way because of the beautiful elegance he always carries with him. Actually, this makes me appreciate Twst more; because it doesn't really conform to societal norms--that yes, a man can wear makeup and heels and it's not anyone's business how he decides to express himself.

Some other non-Malleus notes: this topic is incredibly nuanced and vast. There's no hard rule for this and it really depends on the individual to mix and match depending on how they want to express themselves. For example, Furina as the Hydro Archon is feminine but uses Boku as her pronoun as a message that she is not to be looked down on by men. This is interesting to me, as rather than associating pronouns to gender like in English, Japanese pronouns can carry other messages depending on the person's intent. That's why we prefer to call it masculinity or femininity, as it really is more of a self-expression rather than gender identity. There are actually other more self-expression patterns outside masculine-feminine-neutral!

[twisted-dork]

I like your demon slayer au!!

Is it just the kamaboko squad + giyuu there? Or are the other Hashiras there, I was going to recommend Kalim as a love interest for Kanao!Yuu (Kalim being Kanao!Yuu’s Tanjiro 💀) but then thought if there was an Obanai!Yuu because then Kalim would match them

ok so the Demon Slayer Yuu’s include the Kamaboko squad+ Swap Daki, Swap Gyutaro, Senjuro (Rengoku’s little brother), Aoi, and Giyuu

I do other requests like yours I’m starting on Kalim x Kanao!Yuu right now so don’t worry 😊.

This is in an au for Kalim x Kanao

Warning: Past abuse/slavery mention

At first he admired the person who quité literally saved his behind. When he was about to asked for their name the Headmage was escorting everyone out.

He talked Jamil ear off about them how fast they were and how they looked pretty (used as a gn term)

The next time he saw them was when they were asking about Jamil accident he finally got their name. Kanao!Yuu

After getting to know them for a while and the whole Scarabia incident he slowly slowly SLOWLY realize his feelings towards them he decided to confess to them

(Tanjiro!Yuu punched Jamil for Kalim btw)

At first when he wanted asked them out he was about to throw a party before Inosuke!Yuu stopped him.

“I know I’m not the smartest person.

“But I know that chestnut does not like parties.”

On to plan B he took them on a carpet ride where he confessed his feelings towards them.

“THEY SAID YES JAMIL”

Golden retriever x Black cat energy

Kalim is the obviously the most affectionate person in the relationship.

He will always pat Kanao!Yuu’s head (wether standing, bending down, or standing on a stool).

He will always talk to them no matter what and they will listen to him talk.

It’s canon that Kanao!Yuu likes giving small gifts to the people they care about. So I can imagine them giving Kalim a small gift (like a keychain or new drum sticks) and him putting them in the treasure vault.

Whenever someone is trying to hurt/manipulate/use Kalim they just have to glare at said person and they back off.

Whenever they cuddle either inside, outside, or on carpet they hug each other tightly (Mainly Kanao!Yuu). With Kalim being big spoon and Kanao!Yuu being the little spoon.

Whenever Kanao!Yuu has to leave Kalim will most likely follow them without realizing it himself.

Whenever Kanao!Yuu let their hair down Kalim will complement them until he realizes how flustered they are.

Whenever Kalim sees a pretty flower he will pick it and give it to them.

I headcanon that Kanao!Yuu has scars not only from their job but also from their past. I feel like Kalim would kiss their scars (with their permission) but won’t asked how they got them until their ready.

When Kanao!Yuu told him about their past he was shock

Not only did their parents basically almost killed them. But they also sold them.

He said that if he ever met them he would have punched them in their face (like what he said about Jamil)

He likes their sisters (even if he never got to meet them). Just hearing you talk about them he could tell they’re good people.

He likes hearing about their world it’s interesting.

He is their number 1 cheerleader.

[wind-corner]

Chapter four

Brigitte jumped and rolled to the side avoiding some roots that came from under ground and seemed to wrap the vice warden in its clutches.

The extra Duhbree was also something that she didn't want to get in her eyes. Honestly if she had more time to think about it she might have been more shocked, but since she was in the middle of something it would be thought of later.

Glancing to chaim than back to rotom than back to her friend the both shared a nod. And she reached out to summon her staff again having swapped it for the batane normal members of her dorm used. She did prefer it since it was easier to us when fighting since it was more sowrd like.

But the staff would be of use again as she and chaim seemed to do another much larger blast of water magic. In which she than ran closer to the captured male. And while she didn't have the same power as her dad she could still control a bit of lighting and jumping onto the roots.

"Forgive me" she really hoped he could as she grab his face before using her magic to send lighting though him. And hearing him yelling made a knot form in her stomach, but she knew this had to be done.

He was screaming but she needed to hold it till it seemed everything was done. That didn't make it easier though, if only she had her dad's unique magic this would a quicker process rather than what she had to train to use. After what felt like much to long it seemed a black mist seemed to appear and Brigitte stopped.

Rotem seemed yo be slumped and she quickly checked to see if he had a pulse it was faint but there and she was so greatful to not have killed him. Again her stomch twisted at the thought. But she didn't so she shouldn't think to much on it.

Since he wasn't going anywhere she begin looking for the black crystal that appears soon after an over blot though they didn't have the box to put it in, she deel with the negative effects till she can give it to meri.

Hoping down from the roots since she did have to somewhat jump onto them to reach rotem's head. And looking to chaim who seemed to already looking for it.

"Did you find it?" Brigitte found herself looking at the roots again reminded about asking meri about this. Maybe she could cut them? Or the other could lossen the grip so they could get the elder out of the roots?

"Not yet! But it has to be around here since this was the general area where the blot creature was." Glancing back at her friend she hoped it would just appear.

As she moved to get on her knees the plants seemed to tremble and it seemed she wasn't the only one who felt it and the sounds of a familiar being before Irfan came flying though the trees.

It seemed they headmage has made an appearance, rather late of you ask her, but she wouldn't push and just went to grab rotem as the roots begin to let him go, and chaim spotted the stone before moving to help her as they carried the male to the trees that seemed to be in the middle of desolving. And they would see meri on the ground seeming sort of out of it.

"I've got him." She would struggle with rotem's hight but with her fae blood she should be able to handle the male. But someone would need to help meri and chaim should be able to handle her.

"You sure?" He seemed worried for but she didn't want to leave a friend behind.

"Yeah, please help meri." After a moment of shuffling she found herself holding rotem and chaim went for meri. Greatful for again for fae blood that made her stronger than a normal girl she matched forward. And while she really should be paying attention to what the headmage was saying, because it was bound to be important she honestly was to busy in her own thoughts to really care.

But she did pick up a few things he said like the trees disappearing was his doing and not meri's. And that their was going to be a meeting between them and the housewardens. Which honestly she wasn't looking forward because she sort of yelled at her uncle for laughing at her when she told him her dreams, and while she realized after it wasn't in a mean way, she still feels slightly ashamed at blowing up.

And sure she had apologize and he forgave her, brigtte could still feel the embarrassment of how stupid she must have looked, like she really still wants to hide under a blanket and never come out. But than again he wouldn't know... though she did so the urge to hide wouldn't go away and its not like he would look any different since unlike her pure faes don't change much in what? Twenty - thirty ish years?

A drop in the hat for long living creatures such as pure blooded fae, but for humans and mix blood such as herself not so much. Years hit by faster and harder than most. Even looking at her own family she could see the stark difference.

She just hoped she could live long enough to make her family proud of her. But perhaps that should be something she should put a pin in. After all the first thing first would be to get home in the first place.

And hopefully once home she could talk to her family about these thoughts that were bought to the surface the moment she and her friends fell into the past. Like this time makes everyone thing dark thoughts infecting one minds. But the best thing to do about that is to talk to people you love and see someone whose job it is to hear you out.

Actually everyone should given how it seemed to affect all of them, perhaps she will bring it up later? But then again maybe she should be paying attention since she seemed to have gotten in lost in her own thoughts.

Blinking back to reality she shook her head trying to figure out what was being talking about. Only to jump as she feels a small nudge and looks at rotem who was looking at her. "Oh!"

Brigitte was about to say more only was cut off by the male who spoke up.

"Their talking about getting us all medical attention before hosting a house warden meeting, though I must admit I am glad chaim manged to convince the headmage not to make it a house and vice warden meeting." The male looked away ashamed of himself.

Brigitte sigh softly. "I see.... and how are you feeling? I... I'm sorry I had to electrocut you."

"Its fine though you should get your ankle wrap since I know you'll pertented it didn't happen." Brigitte frowned. After all he was right. But still she didn't want to be called out.

"Only if you promise to provide some answers on how you overbloted since you are always so careful with yourself and chaim, I doubt you would willing allow yourself to screw up like that."

Brigitte found herself waiting for his response as she realized they were in fact heading to the nurses office. And the head mage seemed to continue with what ever rant he was going on about. Honestly he did enjoy the sound of his voice didn't he?

"Fine, but it would be best to wait till I'm rested."

"I'll hold you to it." Brigitte smiled glad to hear that. She could hear and feelt rotem give a weak chuckle.

"I'm not surprised... about that." And for a moment he went quiet and his weight increased and qoruter fae felt a joilt go up her spine at the sudden weight that seemed to aggravate her ankle.

Honestly she should rest it, but not yet, first she'll put rotem down on a bed and than mention it to the others so they can help her convince rotem to keep his own words. And than and only then will she sit down to tend to herself. After all she refused to let her friends suffer if she can help it, and a bit of pain never really hurt anyone... well sort of.

[piquuse]

re: emergency relocation (newsletter)

“Did the Headmage move us all here for free labor?” Deuce mutters under his breath, sleeves rolled up to the elbow and hands moving diligently as he wipes down the temporary room he had been assigned. He does this part alone; damp rag moving from dusty furniture to soapy water and back again until the water in the bucket turns a murky grey and Deuce has to make a trip to the washroom to change it out.

Rinse and repeat, until the last change of water runs clear.

By the time Deuce is finished cleaning, there’s a clean, citrus-y scent in the air that wasn’t there an hour ago that’s beginning to travel beyond the open door and windows left open to air out the room. The wood furniture even looks three shades brighter now that there wasn’t a heavy layer of dust and dirt to mottle the color. It’s a significant enough difference that Deuce can’t help but feel good about a job well done—his mom would be so proud of him, if she was here.

All that was left to do now, aside from finding a fresh change of linens, was actually move his things in. All of Deuce’s necessities had been left back at the Heartslabyul dorm for now, since he had managed to avoid being a part of the group in charge of covering up the roses with tarps and linens to help protect them from the sudden frost that had begun to settle over the dorm.

Deuce would have to go back soon to swap out with one of his dorm members so that they could come down to Ramshackle and do the same, of course, but it was nice to be able to get a head start on it now while most people were likely still gathering their things.

Plus, he still needed to figure out if they were supposed to bring bedding from their respective dorms or if there was some secret stash of clean bedding that they were to use. The last thing Deuce wanted to do was spend the foreseeable future lying on a bed of moth-eaten sheets. Ew.

For now though, Deuce would just have to settle for an early lunch before returning to Heartslabyul to help with the maze’s emergency preparations.

Winter had arrived early there, after all.

[idiacide]

Just imagine female reader being a simp for corpse husbands voice, so (seperately) Idia,Vil, Malleus,Rook and Crewel try to make their voices deeper. By making a potion but the potion backfires And their voices end up being really high for the rest of the week.

Fluff plz

So I got about. 3k words into this before I realized you said separately. And now I'm too attached to the unified concept. Still fluffy as shit though, so..hope this suffices @ravenina14

Without further ado

Choke Me Like You Hate Me-...No Like You Hate Me Wait Fuck You Actually Hate Me Don't You-

feat. Divus Crewel, Idia Shroud, Vil Schoenheit, Malleus Draconia, and Rook Hunt

A/N Reader is not a student, but a 19-20 year old teaching aide.

Word count: 4.1k words

“So,” Crowley said, as soon as he could breathe again. “Explain to me what happened?”

“ᵐʸ ᵗᵉᵃᶜʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵃˢˢᶦˢᵗᵃⁿᵗ-”

“BWAHAHAHAHAHA-”

The blaringly loud laugh punching out of his throat made the mask on the Headmage’s face tremble, the long beak vibrating with the unholy sound echoing out of his nostrils. Some survival instinct urged you to take advantage of the distraction. Just as you started to creep towards the office door, though, Crewel’s hand shot out to grab your collar and drag you back in, ice slate eyes drilling you. “Stay.”

Somehow it was only slightly less commanding when he sounded like a deflating balloon.

Crowley managed to get a better handle on his laughter and Divus was seemingly unwilling to give him another chance to start the whole routine over again. “I was giving an exam prep course for the third years on voice changing potions. At the end of the demonstration, I and all of the students attendant were to drink and demonstrate the efficacy of the potion we had brewed together. It would seem that my teaching assistant-”

“Ruined everything!” Vil’s already slightly shrill voice was made worse by the effects. Pomefiore’s typically unruffled housewarden was now looking distinctly ruffled, try as Rook had for the past fifteen minutes to keep him from exploding. He was red faced and furious, hands clenched into tight fists as he glared daggers at your head.

“It's over” Idia’s already quiet voice was only distinguishable as a series of squeaks from within the hoodie drawn tight around his face, making the fabric smoke slightly with the touch of his hair. “I’m ruined. This is the end. I’m never leaving my room again-”

“Seems to have swapped a crucial ingredient.” Divus finished. His grip pinched your arm and you buried your face in your hands, wondering if maybe you could just sink into the floor and have this be done with.

It had been so stupid. The voice changing potion was technically tricky but nothing terribly master level. The dosage that Crewel had had the students mixing was meant to drop their voice about half an octave. You’d just thought maybe...you could help it along a little.

Ok so maybe a few too many hours on CorpseHusband’s youtube page over the weekend had done some things to your sanity. You honestly hadn’t meant any harm. It's not like any of them would get docked for the potion being slightly more effective than anticipated. Maybe the idea of being surrounded by cute boys (not to mention your sinfully attractive mentor) speaking with voices that could make the floor shake was appealing, sue you for wanting to have a little fun. Not like these kinds of devious antics were unheard of around here, it was NRC for god’s sake.

The plan had been so simple. Mugwort was the agent that activated the deepening part of the potion, so you’d just add a higher dosage than technically necessary to the tray of prepared demonstration ingredients. Just like you’d hoped, Crewel didn’t check the weight before dumping it in.

Was it your fault dried mugwort and powdered salamander intestine looked so similar? If anything he was on the hook here for not having clearer labels on his shit. Somehow you sort of doubted you’d get sympathy points for that though.

“It was an accident!” You said, lying through your teeth and managing to squirm your arm loose of his grip.

“Accident or no...it is un peu inconvenient, no?” Rook said tentatively, hand still braced on Vil’s shoulder. You weren’t sure whether to comfort him or keep him from lunging at you. Hunt had been more patient about things from the beginning, considering his reedy voice had now become almost unlistenable. “Our dear housewarden-”

“Has an interview this week!!!” Vil shrieked, murderous intent in his eyes. “How am I supposed to go before them sounding like this!”

“I assume- snrk- I-I assume that Professor....hehe...Professor Crewel will be able to whip up an antidote?” Crowley gripped the side of his chair, like he was trying desperately to keep upright.

Crewel pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes tight. “There is no antidote. The voice changing potion is at once too simple and too innocuous to have any kind of cure on record. The effects do wear off-” “When.” Vil’s said with all the intensity of a very angry chipmunk.

“In two weeks, Mr. Schoenheit, if you’d let me finish.”

The silence that settled over the room felt like a physical block of ice dropped on your head.

“Two-” “-WEEKS-!!!”

The room erupted in cacophonous chirping and squeaking. Crowley lost his grip again and fell into his chair, bellowing with laughter. You’d almost want to giggle yourself if you weren’t so busy contemplating throwing yourself out the window. Divus cut the chatter by smacking the end of his riding crop on the desk with a CRACK that made you all jump. Crowley, startled out of his giggling fit, whimpered something about the varnish that you all ignored.

“As I was saying.” His hand came down on your shoulder and he swiveled you to face the crowd. “As my assistant is the one who made this shocking error, they will be the one working day and night to help me create an antidote. Day. And. Night.”

“I...but I-” You turned to face him only to find yourself cowed by the ice in his gaze. (And a little turned on? Maybe? Unpacking that later.)

“They will also be available to do whatever you may require in order to work through this time. With our efforts combined, we should be able to come up with a solution before the two week expiration.”

A nervous cackle slipped out of Idia’s hoodie and he loosened the drawstrings a bit to let you all see the incredulous, wild look on his face. “Expiration...what a fitting word, professor....”

“This is absolutely unacceptable.” Vil said, perfect jaw working overtime as he ground his teeth together. “They can’t exactly sit my interview for me!”

“I’m sure we’ll come up with something, mon ami.” Rook said soothingly, steering him back a little more. “Though I do have some business in the forest which might prove a touch inconvenient.”

“I can do it.” You said quickly, just desperate for this nightmare to be over. “Whatever it takes, I’ll...I’ll do whatever you need if it’ll let me make up for my mistake. I swear.”

No one looked particularly convinced (or mollified, to your dismay), but your salvation arrived in the form of a shoulder that nudges through the small cluster of boys.

Malleus. The horned housewarden of Diasomnia had been quiet since the initial commotion. Unlike the others, he looked neither particularly angry or particularly mortified, just his usual blank expression as he watched the antics around him. The calm was almost soothing after the past half hour of hell. His hand rested on the top of your head and you feel heat creeping up your neck towards the tips of your ears as your gaze tracked up towards his wrist. Still, at least Malleus can be trusted to be the cool head in the room-

“ᶜʰᶦˡᵈ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵃⁿ, ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵃⁿ ᵉⁿᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇˡᵉ”

Crowley shrieked. Vil stormed out of the room. Idia’s hoodie zipped closed again. And you resolve to block Corpse’s channel the second you’re reunited with your laptop.

Assuming you live that long.

---

As it turns out, when Crewel said morning and night, he meant morning and night. The professor had you in his office practically every spare moment, and the novelty of seeing him in half open button up buckling down to business was pretty much immediately drowned out with your exhaustion.

Divus was one of the best there was at what he did, but even he seemed stumped by your current predicament. For such a straightforward potion the cure was proving exceptionally elusive. The constant titters from his students during class was doing nothing for his temper either. Some truly deranged part of you nearly provoked you into daring him to just take the frustration out with the crop. But even you weren’t that far gone (yet).

The only time you were allowed breaks from the fumes and haze of the alchemy classroom was for a few hours of shuteye...or to help clean up the wreckage of your mistakes. You were coming back from one such trek, picking sticks and leaves from your hair, when you bumped head first into Ortho.

“Oh!” Ortho said, chirping in pleasant surprise as he hefted the crate in his hands. “Perfect timing, I was just-.....you’re filthy.”

“Rook.” You said by way of explanation, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. “Had me out doing animal calls since early this morning since apparently the pitch of his voice doesn’t let him do them with his usual perfection.” Not that he’d been particularly pleased with your efforts, he must’ve made you practice them 50 times each.

“That sounds rough.” Ortho said, sympathy only slightly dimmed by the tinny quality of his speakers.

You shook your head. “I shouldn’t complain, he’s been one of the nicer ones about all of this.” Even brought you a few pick me ups when you thought you were about to drop from exhaustion. Anything to aid our dear aide on the path to redemption. “Uh...what’s in the box.”

“Delivery from Idia.” He offered it out to you, carefully balancing it until he was sure you had it. “Something to help Vil today with the, ah....little problem.”

“Right, the interview.” You cringed at the memory, adjusting your grip. It was heavier than it looked. “How’s he doing, by the way? He hasn’t called for me at all.”

“Truth be told, part of me wonders if he isn’t secretly relieved by this.” Ortho sighed, looking dismayed about his shut-in brother’s latest antics. “The Headmage wrote them a pass so they could avoid classes for this week and it's basically been an all purpose excuse for him to avoid speaking to anyone but me.”

“As long as one of us is enjoying this.” You muttered, shaking your head to clear the last of the leaves. “I should get this to Pomefiore, thanks Ortho.”

“Anytime. Good luck, and let me know if I can help at all!”

---

Vil, for his part, wasn’t exactly extending you the same sympathy. He blamed you for every single part of this and was communicating it through the extremely subtle art of adding a small mountain of tasks onto your ever growing pile. He kept you throughout the interview like a trained pet to do tricks.

“While my voice has unfortunately been damaged by recent overexertion..” He typed onto the machine, which created a near perfect replica of his usual voice out of the speakers propped in your laps. “I would never dream of denying my fans of hearing from me, and so my assistant here will be utilizing this technology to supplement.”

You were there for hours, adjusting speakers and spellchecking his work before i’ts allowed to leave as a sound. All the while sitting straight as an arrow, not daring to slouch to avoid the look he’ll give you.

The interview finally ended, and still you didn’t dare move. Not until he settled back on his throne with a sigh, turning to glance at you and beckoning with a single finger. He avoided speaking unless at all necessary. Your thighs groaned in relief as you finally rose from your stool, carefully placing the equipment back in the crate before walking towards him.

“The cure.” He said by way of inquiry. You knew better than to crack a smile at the contrast between the severe look on his face and the chipmunk squeal of his voice.

“We’re closing in.” You said quickly. Not exactly a lie, though you had a vested interest in making things sound as rosy as possible right now. “Professor thinks a day or two more.”

“Good.” Before you can blink his hand had shot up to cup your chin, tilting your head from side to side. You barely had time to be embarrassed. “You look like death.”

“Well....lack of sleep, and all.”

Vil rolled his eyes and pinched your chin between his thumb and his index before releasing you. “Guest room. Next to my chambers. Go sleep.”

“...what?” You resisted the urge to try to clear out your ears. Wasn’t easy.

“You can’t exactly perform up to the right standard if you’re about to drop.” His voice clipped out fast and he looked slightly irritated at having to explain himself. “Sleep, regenerate, and I’ll tell him I had you running errands.”

“...who are you and what have you done with Vil-”

“Do it before I change my mind, Potato.”

----

In all that time, Malleus only called on you once, and you swear it’s only because the groupchat you set up for this seemed to have reminded him that was a possibility. When you get there, wrestling past the death stares of Silver and Sebek, you find he has nothing for you to do.

“A task?” His finger drummed on his chin. “Well...I suppose some companionship wouldn’t be the worst thing, while I work on my history of magic homework.”

Of all of them, Malleus was the hardest to take seriously post-change, most especially because he barely seems to notice how he sounds. You were almost certain if it weren’t for Lilia’s intervention that he would’ve tried to attend classes the same as always.

“It been boring?” You said, sinking into the chair. Far be it from you to pass up the opportunity to get off your feet. “Being stuck in your room all day?”

“My retainers allow me to leave, so long as I promise not to speak anyone.” He opened the textbook, flipping through pages idly. “Not that they could stop me if I desired to speak to someone. Still, out of respect for the wishes of the group that we not be discovered, I will not.”

You snorted, pulling your legs up onto the chair. “I guess it’s not particularly unusual for you to keep to yourself, is it?”

The ghost of a smile drifted over his face as his reptilian eyes flickered towards you. “No, it is not. And the gargoyles do not mind the quiet.”

“Small benefits, at least...” Your head sank down into your arms, eyes already heavy with sleep. You blinked hard to prevent surrender. “I really am sorry about all of this. Even though it doesn’t seem to have hit you as hard as the other.”

“They’ll move past this, just as I have.” He said. Not a reassurance, just a statement of fact. “Truly, none of us can stay mad at you forever. Not effectively, at least.”

“What’s that...supposed to....” It’s a losing battle, your head foggy with the free moment you’ve finally been granted. “Mean...”

The last thing you heard before you slipped under is a chuckle, no less mysterious for as squeaky as it was.

“I think you know, child of man...”

----

“You’re sure?” Crewel said, flicking his wrist as he rolled down his sleeve. You’ll miss his forearms, you think wildly, you were just getting used to them.

“Only one way to know for sure.” You said, voice rough from the earliness of the hour. Your hand dipped into the cauldron, carefully scooping up a portion of the violet contents still bubbling in the depths. With your other hand, you uncorked a bottle of the voice changing potion you’d kept on hand for tests. Normally you used some of the mice, but if you really wanted to show the strength of your convictions...you swallowed the voice changing potion. Crewel watched you expectantly.

“Testing....testing....ᵗᵉˢᵗᶦⁿᵍ...” You grimaced as your voice quivers into the higher register. Clearing your throat, you then turn your attention to the fresh brew in your other hand.

The taste was like coaldust and batteries, but it went down easily enough. For a second you closed your eyes, muttering a quick prayer to whoever was out there as you waited for it to course through your system.

“Well?” Crewel said impatiently.

“....Testing.”

Your voice. In its normal register. For a moment the two of you stared at each other in disbelief.

Quick as lightning Crewel snatched the bottle from your hand and downed the rest of its contents. He cleared his throat once, twice...

“Well. Less smooth than I would have enjoyed.” After over a week of Chipmunk Crewel his regular tone was almost startling. His stern expression wavers, and you think he might be sick until you realized you were actually witnessing hints of a smile.

“Then...I can call the others?” You said, failing to wrestle the hope out of your voice. “We’re done.”

“We’re done.” He corked the bottle, placing it back on the shelf. “This little mishap can now be simply an embarrassing memory.”

You failed to suppress a gleeful giggle as you whip out your phone to text the others, barely caring about the disdainful look he shot you. Who cares, after a week you’re going to sleep again, in a real bed, and no more errand running or forest walks or-

“For as inconvenient as this has all been...” Crewel’s voice startled you out of your daydream. The alchemy professor pulled the heavy fur coat back onto his shoulders, straightening the lapels and brushing the dust from them. “It has been an admirable demonstration of your abilities. Acting under pressure and in severe conditions, you managed to craft a solution which stumped even an expert such as myself. As much as I cannot approve the fact that an assistant of mine got us into such a mess...well done.”

“....Professor, is that...” You blinked owlishly, unsure how to receive this praise, or if this even counted as praise.

He gathered the last of his things, patting your head with a half smirk as he brushed past you. “They’ll be coming by to pick their cures soon. As much as you’re likely ready to dive into bed, until the full wreckage of your error is dealt with, you’ll stay.”

----

Malleus arrived first, which surprised you until you saw his loyal henchmen standing just behind him. Chances were pretty good they were more eager to get out of this situation than you were. After nodding his acknowledgement to you, he uncorked the bottle and drained it all in one swallow. A few seconds to let it digest, and he opened his mouth.

“I believe it’s worked.”

It had. Sebek looked about ready to cry with relief and Lilia merely tittered. Malleus handed you the bottle, that faint smile returning as his hand brushed yours in the tradeoff.

“I suppose this means you won’t be accompanying me during my studies.”

“I still can. If you ask.” You set the bottle aside, giving a shy smile of your own. “Not tonight, though, tonight is about collapsing headfirst into a pillow.”

“I believe I’ll manage one night on my own.” He sighed softly, brushing some hair back. “Still, this chapter is closed.”

You weren’t sure what to say to that, but he didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he turned to usher his flock of crows out the door. Before exiting, his head darted back to glance at you, with what you swear was the faintest glint.

“Perhaps a valuable lesson was learned....or not.”

---

Vil and Rook arrived together, Vil’s stride all purpose and Rook’s gait as light and bouncy as ever. While Vil drained the contents of his dose, Rook swept his hat from his head, bending at the waist to kiss your hand before receiving the bottle.

“Our savior.” He said, all chivalry. You snickered a little despite yourself and pass him the bottle.

“Something like that.”

“Let’s not forget quite so quickly that its their fault we were in this situation to begin with.” Vil said, once he was certain of his voice again.

“Roi du Poison, a ruler who underrates the hard work of his followers won’t rule for very long at all.” With that lightly ominous statement, he flicked the top of the bottle and drank it straight down.

Vil rolled his eyes, glancing you up and down. “I suppose success suits you better than moping. I also suppose that I’ve lost a personal assistant.”

“Yup.” You nodded emphatically. “Never again.”

“Pity. Despite the circumstances...I’ve had worse help.” If that weren’t enough, his smile knocked the wind right out of you. Bastard. “I’d be interested to see what you’re capable of with less hanging over your head...though without the motive I suppose I might be disappointed.” Before you could retort he spun on his heel and strode out of the room.

Can’t even let you have the last word. Prick. Handsome prick.

Rook tapped his chest lightly, humming a full bar before he looked at you with a serene grin. “I’ve also lost my hunting partner, tragédie des tragédies. You were so close to perfecting your birdcalls too.”

“If you say so.” You take the bottle back from him, returning the warm smile. “Thank you for being cool about this...and not letting Vil kill me.”

“Anything for you, little Trickster. And speaking of, I must be off.” A last bow, and a swirl of his jacket...and he’s gone.

-----

Idia was the last, almost an hour later. You had your phone in hand, texting Ortho to see if you should even bother waiting when he shuffled in, hood high over his head. Appearance wise, he looked almost as bad as you, dark circles gouged under his eyes and white pallor over his already pale face that made him look more like a corpse than ever. You straightened, plucking the last bottle from the counter and holding it out to him.

“Finally, let’s put this whole fiasco behind us-”

Idia tore the bottle out of your hand and shoved it deep in his hoodie pockets, eyes darting around the room. He ran up to the window, running his hands over and under the sill before pulling the blinds down with a crash and scurrying back to close the door.

“....Idia what the hell-”

“I need to say this quick before Ortho figures out he should be watching me take this.” He said, voice raspy in a way that makes the squeaking worse. The hood fell from his face as he turned to face you, revealing flames that were sparking and popping with apparent agitation. “If anyone asks, as far as you know, I took this and it didn’t work, ok?”

“Wh-”

“Listen!” He stepped closer than you ever expected Idia to get to another human, hands coming down in a vice like grip on your shoulders as he pulled your face closer to him. “You watched me take it. It didn’t work. Get it?!”

“But why-”

“This last week has been the best one of my life. No one coming to drag me out of my room, no classes, no interference. It’s paradise, like I finally hit the game over screen on all the worst parts of existing. Even the Headmage leaves me alone since I can’t go to school in this state..” His nails dug into your back a little. “So I’m not drinking this, alright? And you can keep your mouth shut. Or else I tell everyone that the screw-up was on purpose.”

You felt all the blood drain out of your body and into your face. “How did you-?!”

He snickered, a wide, nearly manic grin splitting his face. “You really need to delete your Youtube history if you’re gonna pull stunts that obvious.”

“........I saw you take it. It didn’t work.” You said slowly.

He studied your face, seemingly for any signs of dishonestly. For a split second, it seemed like he noticed how close the two of you were, the roots of his hair flushing a little pink as he let you go. Idia shoves his hands deep in his pockets, nodding solemnly. “Keep my secret, I’ll keep yours. Maybe a few other favors, depending on how long I can pull this off.”

“And how long is that?”

“If I’m lucky? A few extra weeks.” He grinned again, patting his pocket as he backed out of the room. “I should go before Ortho checks in. Enjoy your rest, and thanks again for the time. My gacha pulls thank you.”

“Glad I could be of service, I guess.”

A notification dings on your phone. New video from CorpseHusband, “Choking My Friends”, the title proclaimed.

Well. At least you knew what you were doing whenever you woke up.

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#369 Headmage Swap

At NRC, In History Class with the First-Years

Ambrose*Coming in with a bag and box*Hello class

Deuce:...Uh Sir, I think you're in the wrong school

Ambrose: No, Young Spade I'm not Me and Dire(Along with his children) switched schools for a few days, Dire suggested it be a good idea...and then he laughed...not sure what that meant...

Jack:...So does that mean, Headmage...and Yuu are with RSA Right now?*Has a bad feeling about this*

Ambrose: Yes, Young Howl that is correct

Ace: HAHAHAHA!Fucking awesome...

First-Years look at each other knowingly, some nodding like Ace and others warier

Ambrose:...Okay, Well on Monday I bring my students donuts! So here you go help yourself!*Opening the box with delicious still warm donuts*

First-Years Gasps in shock and some of them...even crying as they each get a donut to their desk

Epel: OH MY SEVEN!?*is already stuffing his face with the fresh apple donut*

Deuce: THAT IS THE NICEST IS THE NICEST THING?!-

Jack*Tail wagging behind him as he also eats his own donut*...anyone ever done for us...

Ambrose:...Oh my seven...what is it usually like for you all?

At RSA

In the First Year class in RSA...On the other hand

Yuu*Kicking the door open with grim on arms and name tag that says "I am your Teacher: Yuu"*GOOD MORNIN' YA WASTES OF SPACE!

Stu1:...Oh fuck-...no...

Stu2:Where is our head mage!

Yuu: Ambrose is DEAD

Stu1:No he's not!

Yuu*Putting grim on the desk and rolls their eyes at him*Well he MIGHT as well be, Cuz no one is coming to save your mediocre asses-Imma beat the BITCHASSNESS outta y'all...oH no a live potion~*Throws an unstable potion to the class*

Class: AAAAAH!?OH MY SEVENS!?-*they all scatter and are either hit by the explosion*

We all know...Yuu/We are the actual head mage of NRC by now...

Who wants more head mage swap?~

[luxthestrange]

TWST Incorrect quotes#399 The Swapped

In NRC

Ambrose: Okay so today I brought in someone to help me with class!One of the Ramshackle Ghosts!Skinny!

Skinny*Smilling as he floats thru the door to be next to ambrose*Hello Boys

Azul: Hello Skinny

Skinny: You...dont fucking talk to me*Gives him a knowing look*

Azul:🤡...

Riddle*Raises his hand up*Sir...I dont think I understand, why is he here?

Ambrose: Glad you ask Rosehearts, After One day in your school...I noticed some obvious signs of PTSD...Particularly with the Dorm Leaders and Vice-Dorm leaders, So Skinny here who was a licensed therapist in his life is here to provide some counseling

Rug: Man what are you talking bout! We ain't got no PTSD!-*Felt some sand hit his arm, Mind flashes back to Leona Overblot*AAAH!? WHAT WAS THAT!?

Jamil*Next to him shaking some sand from his shoulder that stayed from walking in Scarabia dorm dessert*...I was just dusting myself...

Rug*Lets out a relieved sigh*Oookay

Ambrose: SEE! See that is NOT normal!

Floyd: Bullshit, Shrimpy says trauma is the key to having a fuckin' backbone~

Skinny: HA-Dear fuckin seven...*Mutters under breath*'I BLAME CROWLEY FOR THIS"

Ambrose*Is at a loss for words*"...should I call child services?"

IN RSA

Yuu*Sitting on the desk teaching class*See the reason why y'all are such BITCHBABIES!, Is because you think life is guarented~*Pointing finger at class with glare* IDIOTS!-Regular devastating TRAUMA builds character!...why y'all so fuckin WEAK

RSAStudent:...We're emotionally HEALTHY, By the looks of it NRC is mildly depressed with a negligent headmage and you're indulging it!

Yuu:OOH~You wanna see indulging?~*Grabs Grim and Holds him like a gun*TWO FIRE BALLS

Grim: NYAHHHH!*Shoots two fireballs blindly at the class*

RSA Class:AAAAAAAAAH!?!

Yuu: HAHAHAHA Y'ALL GONNA LEARN TODAY!~*Kissing Grim ontop of the head as they prize him with a tuna can*Good baby~

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