#hee hoo all you want

[abibeur]

I swear if I see another post mocking another language for its vocabulary seeming “ridiculous” in comparison to English words that look the same, I send poison pen letters to you, on sight. I don’t care anymore.

[rubberrabbitta]

here we go again ! welcome to the the amazing digital circus with your favorite chaotic bully JAX, written by yours truly maribelle. if you are looking for a chaotic rabbit that can and will give your life meaningless hell, then you my friend, have come to the right place! help out, by maybe reblogging this around? i'll hop my way over to your blog to check you out! thank you kindly.

[antirepurp]

i love picking up a game that asks you to do highly specific things in a plot-driven setting after several months of not touching it at all but being far too deep into it to reasonably start a new file. pain and suffering in digimon world re:digitize decoded

[fstbmp-a]

I just want to see something so

"Okay - another one down - let's go."

[lord-squiggletits]

The thing about IDW OP is that yeah he's a bastard but also the vast majority of people in this continuity are also bastards, so IMHO Optimus is more or less an average person in terms of the story he's in and is in fact one of the more moral people in the story. So like I both agree and disagree with the idea that he's a bastard? Like yeah he is but also IDW1 is a gritty, realistic, morally complicated storyline so is he actually noteworthy in being a bastard or is he just a Narratively Appropriate Character with characterization and actions that Suit The Narrative Tone And Theme?

[hexastitchimera]

How do people have relatively solid online identities let alone concepts of self that don't change within the hour

[existennialmemes]

What people think Executive Dysfunction is like:

Me: I don't wanna clean my room. It's boring, so I'm just not going to.

What Executive Dysfunction is actually like:

Me: All I want in the entire world is to drink this ice tea that is physically right next me. Will you please coordinate the muscles necessary to bring it to my face?

My Brain: HEE-HOO [banjo music playing]

Me: Ok but-

My Brain: [banjo music intensifies]

[perdidit-vulpes]

cutely makes another priv twt...

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

so this was a line in a fanfic I recently read but it has me fuckign crawling up the walls and watching D&W in a new light

it's part of a larger oh/oh moment paragraph rant wade goes on but the line is:

"I would have happily gone on assuming that this Wolverine is canonically a fuck machine who only sleeps with women ever and that I could hit on him to my dick’s content and never have to worry about the possibility of real rejection"

and that last line COMPLETELY reframed half of wade's actions for me in the movie.

Cuz on the surface level there's the hee-hoo deadpool hits on every single hero joke of it all, which is probably all the writers were thinking about when those lines and directions went onto the script. They needed the throughline of wade being seriously still hung up on vanessa for plot reasons but didn't want to give up all the ridiculous flirt jokes.

From a hollywood writer's perspective, the solution is an easy 'Okay, he flirts with dudes ONLY, no prob, there's a Logan shaped comedic 'straight man' for him to do that at for 90+minutes'

But like. There's Implications to that as a Choice, when you characterize a dude that's so rejection avoidant and purpose-seeking that an avengers' dismissal kills all motivation for putting the suit on at all.

Pointing affections at literally any direction other than people who MIGHT take him seriously. Flirt on his favourite heroes, antiheroes, maybe even a TVA employee or two instead. It isn't that he's not ACTUALLY into Colossus's giant metal ass or Logan's oiled up tits, I'm sure they rev the engines like anything else, but I'm super willing to explore the idea that he's way more comfortable in throwing himself in directions where the rejections aren't 'real' to him. If the writers never thought about that implication, I'm going with concept that Wade doesn't even realize he's doing it at all unless he's in a fanfic universe with a decent oh/oh moment.

It makes me wonder what style of bluescreen he'd go through the second Logan yes-and's in a way that might be interpreted as flirting back. It makes me think of the countless number of dudes he's hit on in the comics despite most of his longer-term relationships being with women. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW the Doylist perspective is likely that most writers go down the straight relationships, gay jokes avenue but it's SO much more interesting to play it watsonian here. it's just a really good fanfic direction to lean down, this fucker is made up of exactly 50/50 emotional anguish about rejection and shitpost dick humour and I just wanna read more works where they feed into each other instead of being tackled separately

HHHHHHh I dUNNO IF I KEEP WRITING IM JUST GONNA GO IN CIRCLES JUST GO READ THE FIC ^

[riki-riks-chick]

★ ENHYPEN Scenarios ★

★ Yn Reacting to a new Nickname ★

Heeseung:

"Hee, baby I'm home!" You walked into your shared apartment after a long day, slipping out od your shoes as Heeseung rounded the corner, leaning down to press a kiss to your head. "Hey, princess.. How was your day?" 

 "It was okay. How- wait.. What did you call me?" You look up at him, eyes wide as he smiles. "Princess.. Do you not like it?" He asks, his smile dropping when you start crying. 

"Oh, baby.. I wouldn't have called you that if I knew you wouldn't like it.." He immediately hugged you, pressing kisses to your forehead as you pulled away, wiping your eyes.

"No.. I like it.. I just had a bad day and that made me feel a lot better.." You laughed, smiling as Heeseung leaned down to kiss you. "I'm glad I could make you feel better, princess.."

Jongseong:

Jay hadn't spoken to you all day. Once the night had fallen you got ready for bed, finally wanting to relax and fall asleep to rid your mind of the multiple thoughts that were running through your head.

To your surprise, he had walked in, roaming around the room for a few minutes before finally settling down beside you in bed.

You could basically feel him hesitating behind you before he finally reached over to caress your waist. "Honey.. I'm sorry for ignoring you all day.. I was upset over something dumb and I should've just spoke to you about it.."

You turned on your side to face him, your eyebrow raised. "I accept your apology, but did you just call me honey?" You ask as he shrugs. "Did I?" He asks as you nod. "Oh.. Well, I guess it suits you.. Do you mind it?"

"No.. I like it.. A lot."

Jaeyun:

"Babe, can you come here a sec?!" Jaeyun yells from the kitchen as you get up, walking into the brightly lit area. "What's up, Yun?" You asked as he sighed. "Babe.. I can't find the milk did you use the last of it?"

"No, you used it this morn- wait.. Babe?" You question with a chuckle as he nods, a pink color flushing across his cheeks. "I can call you that right?.. Or is it too early for pet names?.." He asks as you smile, kissing his cheek. "It's never too early.. I like it a lot.."

"So I can call you that?" He asks excitedly and you were sure that there was an imaginary tail wagging behind him. "Whatever makes you happy.. Now, how about a late night run to the store for snacks?"

"Let me grab my coat!"

Sunghoon:

"Sunghoon! Hoon, can you come here!?" You had yelled for Sunghoon at least five times now, simply wanting his aid in reaching your favorite mug.

You decided to try and get it yourself, slowly pulling it towards the edge and accidentally knocking down another. Your reflexes were slow, so instead you decided to sheild yourself, waiting for the impact of the mug that seemed to never hit you.

You finally glanced up, looking at Sunghoon who had caught the mug. "My love, you need to be more careful.." He set the mug down, grabbing your favorite one as he kissed your head. "Are you okay?"

You froze, processing his prior sentence as you glanced up at him. "My love? Is that what you're calling me?" You asked as he nodded. "Are you not my love?.." 

"I guess I am now.." You smile, pressing a kiss to his lips as he hums in content.  "Good.."

Seonwoo:

Seonwoo had finally gotten home after a tiring day of recording, and when you didn't greet him at the door like usual, he was worried. 

 "Y/n!? Where are you?" He quickly took his shoes off, roaming around the apartment until he finally found you in bed, buried underneath the covers. 

He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the covers off of your head. "What's the matter, sweetheart?.." He rubbed your back softly, pushing your hair out of your face. You groaned, turning over to face him. "I don't feel so good..."

 "Don't worry.. I'll take care of you, sweetheart.." He smiled, kissing your forehead as he hugged you. "I like it when you call me sweetheart.." You mumbled as he chuckled.

"Then I'll be sure to use it more often.."

Jungwon:

"Y/n!? Have you seen my favorite hoodie?!" Jungwon yelled out as you walked into your shared bedroom, wearing said hoodie. "Is this the one?.." You asked as he nodded. "You can't keep stealing my  hoodies, cutie.."

 "Cutie? That's new.." You say with a smile as he nods. "You are a cutie though... Might as well call you one." He says, hugging you as you smile. "Do you want your hoodie back?.."

"No.. It looks cuter on a cutie like you.." 

Riki:

"Are you ready to go, Riki!?" You yelled, walking into the bedroom where Riki was taking forever to finish getting ready. "Shortcake, give me five more minutes and we'll go.. I promise."

"Riki~ wait-.. Shortcake?.." You asked as he laughed. "It's better than Shorty right?.. And you said you used to like Strawberry Shortcake as a kid." He explained as you smiled. "Okay, okay. I get it."

"Do you not like it?.." He asked, his face lighting up with a smile when you nod. "I like it... It's cute.."

 "Then can I call you that more often?.." He asked as you nodded, gaining a kiss in response. "Okay I'm ready, let's go."

[antirepurp]

delicious brain matter

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

it's very bad no good cupcake baking time for the hotel crew (save them) (charlie did you think this throu-) (NO)

Charlie: “I have! The most brilliant plan for a group bonding activity!”

Angel Dust: “Oooh~ Bondin’ or bond-”

Vaggie: “You live here for free.”

Angel Dust: “Buy my silence, Vaggity Fair, cause’ it sure ain’t free.”

Vaggie: (groans) (slips him a twenty) “Go on babe, what’s the mission statement?”

Charlie: “We should all bake CUPCAKES together!!”

Hotel Crew: "......"

Husk: “…Why.”

Charlie: “Beeeecaaaause it’d be so SWEET!”

Vaggie: “And you also live here for free.”

Husk: “Not of my own free will I don’t.”

Charlie: “Aw c’mon Husk, please? Baking is probably KINDA like drink mixing, right?”

Husk: “It’s not.”

Vaggie: (SIGHS) (slips him a twenty)

Husk: “I’ve got cooking sherry around here somewhere, I think.”

Alastor: “How thrilling! Extreme heat sources, flammable liquids, and so many little bottles and vials that couldn’t possibly get mix up with anything in the pest control cabinet!”

Niffty: “Hee hee hee…. Rat poison~”

Vaggie: “Twenty bucks and you LOCK that cabinet, okay?”

Niffty: “Thirty and a new knife set!”

Vaggie: (has given up) “Fine.”

Niffty: “OKAY!”

Charlie: “We need to go shopping anyway. We’ll need flour and sugar and uhhhh flavory things of some kind probably and um, those little paper thingies- the cup cake… skirts?”

Alastor: “Glad to see how prepared our intrepid leader is for this marvelous expedition!”

Charlie: “Cup cake… dollies…?”

Vaggie: “I’ll handle it. You remember how to pre-heat the oven?”

Charlie: “NOT with actual fire!”

Alastor: “Aww.”

Angel Dust: (handing back the twenty) “I want a new pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs. Mine broke~”

Vaggie: “I don’t want to know.”

Husk: (handing his twenty back too) “Beer.”

Vaggie: “Beer? You run the hotel BAR.”

Husk: “What, you think I nip stuff under the table at work?”

Alastor: “Oh there isn’t much thought needed when it comes to you, I’m afraid.”

Husk: “You think I LIKE that I do that? That’s the stupid hotel’s shit, can’t relax sneaking shots that aren’t mine, racking up a tab like that. This beer is gonna be only for me.”

Charlie: “Husk…”

Vaggie: “Great whatever, guilt free beer for the alcoholic.”

Alastor: “How touching. And I require-”

Vaggie: “What YOU need is a-”

Charlie: “Happy place!”

Vaggie: “-which I’m not picking up for you. I’ll get more cleaning supplies too while I’m at it.”

Charlie: “More? Vaggie, have some faith! We’re all adults here! It’s not gonna be THAT messy. We just need to measure things, maybe chop some stuff up first-”

Niffty: “KNIVES.”

Charlie: “-put all in a- blender-? A blender would work for mixing, right? Then pour the batter in the things and into the oven! Which I WILL remember to preheat this time. Without fire.”

Vaggie: “Good point.”

Charlie: “See!”

Vaggie: “We should stock up on first aid stuff too.”

Charlie: (pouting) “We’ll talk about it on the way.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, thanks for wanting to help carry groceries, but I really think we need to divide and conquer here.”

Charlie: “Huh?”

Vaggie: “Husk is already halfway to the wine cellar.”

Charlie: “He wh- Husk wait! You can’t help make friendship cupcakes if you’re blackout drunk!”

Angel Dust: “Toots that’s the whole idea.”

Vaggie: “Fifty bucks if he’s still conscious when I get back. I’ll need him in the kitchen later if we’re gonna get through this alive.”

Angel Dust: “Spend it on getting’ him a really NICE beer and you’ve gotta deal.”

Vaggie: (eye twitch) “Why is all my money turning into drugs and sex toys?”

Niffty: “And KNIVES!”

Vaggie: “The one silver lining…”

Alastor: “You know, if you won’t extend simple shopping list courtesies to me, then I suppose I shall have to go shopping myself as well.”

Vaggie: “Keep your shopping on the other side of town from me or I’m coming home with a flat screen tv.”

Alastor: (annoyed channel switch sound) “….Noted!”

– LATER –

Hotel Crew: “………….”

Oven: (DING)

Vaggie: “…”

Vaggie: “….cupcakes are done.”

Charlie: “Oh yay. Whoo. Hoo.”

Hotel Crew: “…….”

Vaggie: “If no one takes them out they’re gonna burn.”

Angel Dust: “Let ‘em.”

Husk: “Little fuckers deserve to fry.”

Charlie: (exhausted) “No one deserves to burn for all eternity.”

Niffty: “Yeah! I wanna RIP THEM APART and STAB THE CRUMBS.”

Alastor: “Well that’s two votes for burning and two for rescuing, to a certain extent. I myself would like to try out these DARLING cupcake toppers that I found while out doing my shopping completely alone.”

Vaggie: “Oh my girlfriend’s dad shut up. You won’t die just because no one was listening to you for ten minutes.”

Alastor: “In any case, that makes three for rescue and two for burn, with you as the undecided vote, Vaggie. Choose wisely~!”

Vaggie: (sighing) “Someone hand me the oven mitts.”

Husk: “They’re in the fucking blender.”

Angel Dust: “What’s left of ‘em.”

Vaggie: “Fine. Someone move the pile of dirty dishes off Charlie so SHE can be our oven mitts.”

Charlie: “It’s so peaceful under here…”

Vaggie: “The friendship cupcakes are dying, babe.”

Charlie: “UggghHHHHHH ‘kay. Coming.”

Angel Dust “That’s what she sa-”

Vaggie: “KNIVES.”

Angel Dust “-cough cough cough! I didn’t say nothin’, I got a piece of walnut shell stuck in my throat!”

Alastor: “Usual night for you then, hmm?”

Husk: “Who the fuck put in walnuts?”

Vaggie: “Who cares. If they shelled them then it’s at least better than the coconut thing.”

Charlie: “Did we add anything that wasn’t nut related?”

Vaggie: “Uhhh.”

Angel Dust “Nope!”

Husk: “Is that the only thing you were keeping track of.”

Angel Dust “Hey I know my strengths and I’m stickn’ to ‘em!”

Charlie: “Speaking of strength and sticking… um…”

Hotel Crew: “……….”

Charlie: “They’re bubbling.”

Vaggie: “Yeah.”

Charlie: “Or, breathing?”

Vaggie: “Yeah…”

Charlie: “Is that normal? It feels kinda… not normal.”

Vaggie: “It’s. Impressive.”

Niftty: “They’re ALIVE!” (knife) “For now.”

Charlie: “Well I guess we shouldn’t REALLY judge them until we’ve actually seen what they taste like-”

Angel Dust “Not it!”

Husk: “Fuck no.”

Alastor: “I’m terribly afraid that I am on a diet.”

Vaggie: “You eat rotting deer carcasses.”

Alastor: “And THEY aren’t still moving when I chow in, ha ha!”

Charlie: “Okay well, I guess I’ll just…”

Vaggie: “Wait. You’re probably immune to half the stuff that’d kill us.”

Charlie: “Right, so I should-”

Vaggie: “You’re not a good example of what happens when a non-demon princess person eats these, sweetie. If wanna test for uh, quality control, it shouldn’t be with you.”

Hotel Crew: “…..”

Vaggie: “….hand me a cupcake.”

Husk: (edges out of the splash zone)

Charlie: “You don’t have to do this.”

Angel Dust: “But you totally should! After I get my phone out though, hold on a sec-”

Vaggie: “I’m standing right in front of Radio Head over here so don’t even THINK about recording this.”

Alastor: “Aww my dear little angel-”

Charlie: “Alastor.” (calm smile) (horns out) “Her name is Vaggie.”

Alastor: “-Vaggie, yes, I would almost be willing to make an exception to my own morals for you.” (grins at angel dust) “Almost.”

Angel Dust: (lowering his phone) “I was jus’ takin’ a selfie. You know. Since I’m covered in sticky white shit anyway.”

Husk: “This fucking sucks.” (shakes his paws)

Vaggie: “No. THIS does.”

Vaggie: (bites cupcake)

Hotel Crew: “……………..”

Vaggie: “….hm.”

Hotel Crew: (STEPS BACK)

Vaggie: “It’s… well it’s kinda…”

Charlie: (cringing) “Break up worthy??”

Niffty: “PAINFUL?”

Vaggie: “It’s.. Fruity..?”

Hotel Crew: (stares at still moving cupcakes)

Angel Dust: “No. Fuckin’. Way.”

Husk: “Since the fuck WHEN did they have fruit in them?”

Angel Dust: “They didn’t! I swear I checked!”

Charlie: “Are they, um, edible?”

Vaggie: “Well I wouldn’t sign them up for a baking competition but I’m not dying either, so.”

Charlie: (excited) “So we did it? We all made actual cupcakes together?”

Vaggie: (smiling) “We did it. Mission cupcake completed.”

Charlie: “HAHA YUS!” (fist pump) “FRIENDSHIP POWERRRRRRR!!!!”

Alastor: “Now now now, no cupcake is fully complete without a lovely floral topper!”

Angel Dust: “Ain’t THAT the truth~”

Alastor: “Which I bought. Alone. Without any second opinion to rely on.”

Vaggie: (rolls eye)

Charlie: “And they’re so cute! Thank you Alastor- you picked wonderfully. Everyone, get decorating!”

Niffty: (drooping) “No stabbing?”

Vaggie: “You can poke ‘em each with a knife to check that they’re done.”

Niffty: “HEHEHEH.”

Vaggie: “Poke them with the knife ONCE Niffty- hey- NO- don’t leave it inside-”

Angel Dust: “That’s what-”

Husk: “Will be on your gravestone if she fucking hears you.”

Charlie: “Awww~ Now they’re adorable AND delicious!”

Husk: “Don’t.”

Angel Dust: “I didn’t say nothin’!”

Vaggie: “I actually kinda wish you’d go back to sex jokes instead of whatever you’re doing to that cupcake”

Angel Dust: “There’s more than one kind of oral performance in the world~”

Vaggie: “Say that and then look at what Niffty’s doing to her cupcake.”

Husk: “Unholy fucking shit!!”

Niffty: (GLEEFUL CACKLING)

Charlie: “Okay well, we clearly each have our own… unique ways of enjoying these cupcakes. Some more uh, graphic and concerning than others-”

Angel Dust: “Why the fuck are the insides RED like that?! Who put in red dye???”

Charlie: “-but the point is we all came together to make these sweets! Which. Taste like strawberries?”

Vaggie: “I didn’t buy strawberries.”

Charlie: “A-at least it and the redness go with the rose themed toppers!”

Angel Dust: “Yeah, I mean, is it weird that out of this whole maybe-living cupcake thing, the professional spun sugar parts are the ones with the funkiest taste to ‘em?”

Vaggie: “….”

Vaggie: “Alastor. Where the fuck did you buy the rose themed cupcake toppers.”

Alastor: “Hmm? Does my private, SOLITARY shopping FINALLY interest you?”

Vaggie: “Where you literally on the other side of Pentagram City from me.”

Alastor: “I do believe that is what you requested, and I, being a proper gentleman even to someone who might be considered a less than proper lady, was only too happy to oblige!”

Charlie: “Vaggie are you okay? You’re looking kinda pale.”

Vaggie: “I’m.”

Vaggie: “Alastor did you get these rose themed toppers-"

Vaggie: "-in Cannibal Town?”

Angel Dust: “WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Alastor: “I did.”

Angel Dust: “FUCK!!!”

Husk: (hairball noise)

Charlie: “Oh no.”

Alastor: “Dear Rosie gave me quite the discount. Wasn’t that sweet of her?”

Charlie: “Oh. Nooooooooo-”

Alastor: “I think it utterly darling of her~”

Niffty: “Alastor, hey hey!”

Alastor: “Yes, murder of my eye?”

Niffty: “I stabbed my cupcake topper heheheh WHO did I just stab????”

Charlie: “NOOOOOO-”

Alastor: “I believe it was an unsatisfactory husband by the name of Bill.”

Niffty: (grinning) “A BAD boy?”

Alastor: “Not bad enough to escape Rosie’s Emporium intact but yes, in a manner of speaking.”

Niffty: “Oooh.”

Niffty: (snatches up another cupcake and hugs it) “For my collection.”

Charlie: “GAAAHM NOT HEARING THIS! I DIDN’T HEAR IT!”

Angel Dust: “GREAT CAN YA MAKE IT SO’S I DIDN’T EAT ANY OF IT EITHER!??!”

Alastor: “Not to your tastes, Angel Dust? And here I though you enjoyed have strange men in your mouth.”

Charlie: “DO WE KNOW HIS ADDRESS SO I CAN SEND AN APOLOGY LETTER???”

Alastor: “I suppose his business card might still be in the hand Rose tore off him-”

Charlie: “AAAAAGH!”

Vaggie: “Hostia. You really can’t not be the center of attention for five minutes can you.”

Alastor: “I can, truly I can and very happily! It seems however that YOU cannot withstand the consequences of your own, short-sighted actions.”

Charlie: “Um guys-”

Vaggie: “Oh yeah? You’re not the only monster here, dumbass.”

Charlie: “We’re getting a little off topic-”

Alastor: "But as I am the only one not mired in glorious self-pity, certainly I am the most impressive specimen here.”

Charlie: “Okay this is going a bit-”

Vaggie: “Impressive HA! Fuck your empty grin and your stupid suits. You’re not even the one with the highest body count.”

Angel Dust: “Are we talkin’ sex stuff orrr-?”

Vaggie: (takes topper off her cupcake and pops it in her mouth)

Hotel Crew: “………”

Vaggie: “What?”

Charlie: “Vaggie, um. Person.” (points) “Person food.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, you know how murder crazy exorcist are. You really never thought we didn’t lick a little blood off our weapons now and then, to feel extra badass about slaughtering people sometimes?”

Charlie: (dazed) “I’m thinking about it now.” (covers cheeks)

Niffty: “BLOOD!”

Angel Dust: “Oh ew. Oh you're getting off on that- Oh that’s just-”

Charlie: “Part of her past, a thing EVERYONE has.”

Angel Dust: “BLEH.”

Husk: “Also step one to seeing her shitfaced.”

Charlie: “Ha haaa…” (claps hands) “Okay everyone- that’s a wrap on today’s bonding activities! I uh, I think we can save the clean up until we’ve all recovered from the actual cupcakes a bit, right Vaggie?”

Vaggie: (shrug) “Whatever.”

Husk: “About damn time.” (sighs) (walks out) “I’ll get the fucking vodka.”

Niffty: "HEE HEE." (carrying cupcake over her head) "TO THE COLLECTION!"

Angel Dust: “Hold up baby! I wanna get shitfaced too after this!”

Charlie: “Well I think it’s all very interesting! Angel stuff is interesting, isn’t it Alastor?”

Alastor: “Yes. Quite.”

Vaggie: “Uh-huh.” (slumps and drops cupcake) “Bill tastes boring as hell, by the way, maybe let Rosie know before she sells anymore of these.”

Charlie: “Oh? Maybe THAT’S why she gave such a steep discount?”

Alastor: “Perhaps.”

Charlie: “Awww cheer up Alastor. You can bring her some of our cupcakes as a thank you, now that we uh, we’ve um, had our fill of them already.”

Alastor: “Hmph.”

Vaggie: “Think I’ll head up now.”

Alastor: “While grabbing a drink along way, hmm?”

Vaggie: “Yeah. Why not.”

Charlie: “Vaggie-” (catches her hand) (squeezes) “-grab one for me, too? I’ll be right behind you.”

Vaggie: “…wine from the cellar then, huh?”

Charlie: “I’m having whatever you’re having.”

Vaggie: “Sweetie, you hate the shit I drink.” (small smile) “I’ll get us something from the cellar. Meet you up there.”

Charlie: “In a heartbeat.”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “Alastor.”

Alastor: “Oh don’t scold me for her baggage, dear, I don’t make her carry it.”

Charlie: “I’m not scolding. I just- I get that you have this whole-” (air quotes) “-annoying big brother who hates being ignored thing going on with Vaggie, and while it IS kinda sweet-”

Alastor: (microphone feedback) “Excuse me?”

Charlie: “Could you turn it down a tiny bit when it comes the exorcist stuff?”

Alastor: “I do not-”

Charlie: “I know I know you don’t mean to make her all droopy like this, it’s boring for you, totally a killjoy-”

Alastor: “There is NOTHING enjoyable about that woman!”

Charlie: “-So maaaaaaybe back off a little when things get too serious?”

Alastor: “NO!”

Charlie: “Think about it okay?” (pats his shoulder) “Anyway, thanks for sticking around for the friendship cupcakes, see you at the next hotel bonding session, Dadastor!”

Alastor: “At the next-”

Alastor: “………”

Alastor: (hissing) “DADastor!?”

[minced-mangoes]

I don't care what you think Lucifer is a bottom in my heart no I won't explain it just feels right. This is just a random headcanon to start this post.

Lucifer isn't super cuddly, but he does quite enjoy letting you snuggle up to his wings. Especially at night when you're asleep in bed, Lucifer will lay a wing over you, just so he knows you're still there. That you're safe and warm.

He takes pride in it, that he's protecting you, that no one would dare lay a hand on you with him there, shielding you, even at their most vulnerable point of sleep.

Also I personally think Lucifer sleeps on his stomach. It started as an angel, three wings makes it hard to lay on your back, and now that he's missing a pair of wings (and is probably severely scarred in that area) sleeping on his stomach is much more comfortable. The pain of the scars, plus waking up with his wings slept on weirdly, just isn't nice.

Of course if he isn't in his demon form, the wing thing is null, but I think the pain in his back just keeps him on his side or stomach. If he isn't in demon form when sleeping next to you, he will wrap an arm around you. Still taking comfort in knowing you're there with him. Of course this makes waking up in the night a bit difficult, as you don't want to wake this poor overworked man at 3 in the morning so you can go use the washroom, but he won't hold it against you if you do.

Now, if you get up to eat he'll be a bit upset. "Why didn't you eat enough at dinner? That isn't healthy. Living with Beel should have taught you to know not to skip meals." Of course all his nagging is from a warm part of his heart. He just wants the best for you. His idea of what's right with you, and what is actually right for you might be a bit different, however.

Tell him that. He feels proud when you stand up to him. Of course his human, the one he chose to make a pact with, out of the many who have begged him, would be bold, and tell him off when he's wrong.

~~~ Hee-hee hoo-hoo thanks for reading,,, as always I encourage interaction, especially asks. I will dump my headcanons on you. I also accept oneshot requests, though those take me a while to write, as I'm a slow writer. ( I started drafting this post on the 12th)

Funny note, at first I was scared of Lucifer, then I disliked him, then I realized he was actually pathetic and suddenly became a big fan.

Tomi Out!

[proth-blog]

I wrote i script for a comic that i probably wont make because this was kinda practice and I feel that its cringy and overly edgy i rewrote it 3 times and I still feel that way but if I dont get shit on it i'll never know if its edgy enough lol anyway

Tw// emotional and physical abuse

Anguish: -going to sona's room to talk after an arguement-

Sona: -still upset about it and starts another arguement while trying to make him leave her alone-

Anguish: -offended- "I do so much for you!! I gifted you that silly brush you wanted so much, didn't I?!?!"

Sona: -teary eyed from frustration- "You want it back!! Take it!! JUST LIKE YOU TOOK EVERYTIME FROM ME!!

Anguish:"I don't want it."

Sona:"Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. TAKE IT BACK!!!"

Anguish:" tsk, enough hysterics!!

Sona:" Of course i'm hysteric!!! That's what you want, YOU want me to look fucking INSANE!!!!

Anguish: -rolls "eyes"- " Tsk-ugh, don't be idioti-"

Sona: "I KNOW-" -trying to lower hee tone and calm herself a tiny bit- "i know what you're DOING!!! I KNOW!!!

Anguish:"Enlighten m-"

Sona:"Shut up!! I know!! I know it's all to show how much more power you have over me!!! Iknowiknowiknowiknowiknowiknowikn-"

Anguish: -speaking over her- "Of course I have more power, I am a GOD. "

Sona:"Shut up!! Shut the fuck up!!! Im not talking about that!!! Im not saying THAT!!! IM NOT!!! It's all emotional!!! Or psi-psyco- col- or WHATEVER THE FUCK!!! It's all making me look insane or-" -chokes on words and kicks a chair in frustration- " fucking HYSTERIC!!"

Anguish:" Oh dear, you are hyster-"

Sona:"BECAUSE YOU MADE ME!!!"

Anguish:"..."

Sona: -breathing heavly trying to colect herself- "......you narcisistic, ego centric, bald headed MANIAC!! You think you're so inteligent and cool- JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!......"

Anguish:"...."

Sona:".....just laught at me and the fuck out of her-"

Anguish: -grabs sona by the face- "Don't you dare tell me what to do. I let you insult me, I let you degrade me but. Do. Not. Dare. To tell me what I should do."

Sona: -becomes more agitated and free herself- "I don't care!!! Leave!! Leave!! Leaveleaveleavelea-"

Anguish: -slams her head against the desk- "Tsk....you ungreatfull little brat, I let you get away with so so so much!!! And this is how you speak to me?!

Sona: -still struggling-

Anguish: -tightes his grip- "to now say all the comodetis I let you have!! And you. You still dare to not only insult me but also tell ME what I can and cannot do?! -let go of his hold on her-

Sona: -more heavy breathing, very visibly frustrated and shaken- "I- I never asked you for those things!! I don't want anything from you!!

Anguish:"Tsk-tsk, then tell me why, oh why, you always come to me for help, hm? Why is that?"

Sona:"THAT'S YOU!!! YOU CAME TO ME!! i don't want to be near you- I DON'T-....." -chokes and trys to lower her voice- "You are the one coming to me, the only times i initiate things with you is because I know that if I do you will leave me in peace for a small while...... I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Near. You."

Anguish:" Oh, really now?~ Then leave."

Sona:"..... You. Won't. Let. Me."

Anguish:"Oh yes, yes, sure.....or maybe you didn't even tryed yet, maybe you are just all smoke, hm?"

Sona:"Fuck you, fuck you fuck you!! I know- I know what-....." -trying to breath and calm down- "Im not doing this-.....im not doing this again.... it's just the same shitty arguement every fucking time!!!"

Anguish:"Boo-hoo, how terrible!~ you never learn so I have to say the same arguements over and over again, oh dear, I feel so bad for you!!~" -dramaticly puts his hand on his "heart"-

Sona:"...."

Anguish:"...."

Sona:"...."

Anguish:"No more pety insults to throw at me. Or maybe more of your tactical forgetfullness" -scoff- "All the things i did for you, wasted, all the gifts i bought for you, watsed, all of that coin, WASTED!!

Sona: -walks to her desk and start reaching for something-

Anguish:"Why do I even put effert and energy with you? Can you at least act like you are listening!!"

Sona: -walks up to him with a small bag of gold- "Why then don't we do this? You don't do anything "for me" going forward, you also take back you "gifts", since me having them upsets you so much, and since you seem to care about all of those coins you spent and wasted on me so much..." -takes his hand and place the gold on it- "I can start paying you back seeing how much it troub-"

Anguish: -slaps her across the face and throws the coins away- "HOW. DARE. YOU." -slaps her again- "ME? Giving me your shity and miserable pocket change." -grabs her by the face again- "You are fortunate that your pathetic act before hand put me in a good mood....."

Sona: "..."

Anguish: -tightes his grip on her- ".....so I will leave and you will reflect on this conversation and hopefully learn to be greatful of the mercy I show you Every. Time. You. Speak." -harshly throws her on the ground and disapears from the room locking the door behind him-

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 2 Group C Match 2

ATTENTION VOTERS WE ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE A TIE ON THIS POLL. MARGIN OF 0.2% OR SMALLER WILL MEAN JONNY AND MIKE MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND TOGETHER.

expand for propaganda ↓ (major wall of text warning + videos. very.)

Jonny Greenwood:

"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"

"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."

"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."

"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."

"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"

"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"

"He's so gorgeous....kinda like an ant 😍😍😍😍"

Mike Patton:

"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"

"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."

"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"

"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"

"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."

"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"

[yelenasdiary]

For Flufftober 🤭

It's Kate's and Readers first Halloween together as a couple. The two spend the whole day at home handing out candy for the trick or treaters. Kate is the one who is handing out the candy while Reader bakes some cookies and other stuff for the Avengers Halloween party that they're going to at night. The two dress up in a couples costume (you can pick whichever one you want) before they head to the avengers compound.

-🌊 (I know it's not much but this is all I got 🙈)

Trick or Treat

Pairing:  Kate Bishop x GN! Reader

Summary:  You and Kate spend your first Halloween together.

Warnings:  Smut implied? But other than that, none | 1.7K

AC: I hope you enjoy this! Thank you for requesting it, it was so fun to write! x

October Special Masterlist

Halloween, a spooky day for all small and tall. Kate, your girlfriend, had spent the night at your small townhouse home and of course she had brought Lucky. Kate turned your house into a nicely decorated house that screamed your name all over it into something that Claire from Modern Family would most definitely approve of. It was your first Halloween together and she had invited you to join her at the Avenger's compound later tonight for a Halloween party that Wanda and Nat had planned out, mostly Wanda of course. 

Kate secretly loved that you lived in a family orientated neighborhood, given that her apartment was on top of a pizzeria, she doesn't get any excited children knocking on her door trick or treating. A large pumpkin shaped plastic bowl sat on the dresser by the front door, overflowing with candy and treat sized chocolate bars for Kate to hand out while you baked some Halloween themed cookies and cupcakes for the party later on. 

"Look at you Lucky!" you smiled widely as he sat at your feet, tail wagging while wearing a horse saddle costume finished with a fake wig, Kate entered the kitchen in a red wig with a single plait hanging off her shoulder topped with a red cowgirl hat. 

"Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!" Kate says with a put-on country accent while swirling a lasso, "You found Woody! Good job Bullseye!" she added. You couldn't help but chuckle at how adorable the cowgirl was, "I bet you've been waiting all month to say that" you replied.

"You bet ya!" Kate placed her lasso on the countertop and gently pulled you in for a kiss. Since Kate went a teeny bit overload with the Halloween decorations, she suggested that you, Lucky and her dress up a little more child friendly when she noticed just how many younger children lived in your neighborhood and who doesn't love Toy Story right?

With Lucky dressed as Bullseye, you as Woody and Kate as Jessie, it was almost criminal not to get as many photos together as possible. Kate didn't only have a great eye when it came to her archery but also when it came to her photography. She set up her digital camera in front of a blue back drop and set the timer for 10 seconds. The three of you posed for a few photos before Kate heard the doorbell ring, her first trick or treater for the day!

"Twick or Tweet!" A small child no older than 4 smiled with his candy bag open wide, he was dressed as Miguel from Disney's Coco. "Happy Halloween little dude!!" Kate smiled as she kindly put 3 pieces of candy into his little bag. "Thank you!" He waved before he turned to walk back towards his parents who waited protectively at the end of the walkway, they smiled at Kate before she closed the door. 

"Looks like you've got the door covered, I'll get a start on the cookies" you gave Kate a little tilt of your cowboy hat before making your way to the kitchen. 

Every few minutes the doorbell would ring through the house and Kate would answer it with Lucky sitting beside her feet. The kids said the iconic line before they noticed that Lucky was also dressed up, he got plenty of pats and Kate even showed them a trick that she had taught him recently. Lucky would carefully pick up 2 pieces of candy from the bowl and place it in the kids candy stash. 

"Bishop! Get your fingers away from the icing mixture!" you scolded as you took the try of freshly baked gooey chocolate chip cookies, placing the on the countertop for cooling before putting a second tray into the oven.

"I didn't even do anything!" Kate lied, licking the tip of her index finger. You turned and shook your head at her, "you can help decorate them when their ready and after, you can eat the left-over icing" you offered before you made a start on making cupcake mixture. 

Kate was just about to distract you by wrapping her arms around you from behind when the doorbell rang again, and she was out of the kitchen faster than you could blink. It wasn't long before she was back, hovering around you waiting for a spare moment to capture your lips in a kiss. 

Once the cupcake mixture was made, you began to pour some into the cupcake cups. Kate grabbed a teaspoon as you did so and scraped some mixture out of the bowl before quickly dabbing some of it on the tip of your nose. She chuckled proudly before leaving the spoon clean of mixture while you shook your head playfully at her and placed the bowl on the countertop, "come here" you looked up at her. You dipped your finger into the mixture and waited for Kate to come closer before you wiped it on her left cheek. 

"Don't waste it!!" Kate joked as she dipped her finger into the mix and wiped a strip of mixture from your forehead, over your nose and to your lips. "Says you!" you raised a brow only to be shushed by Kate kissing you deeply, "well" you smiled against her lips, "I guess if you do that again it'll make up for it" you added. 

Kate didn't hesitate to kiss you once more, the taste of red valet cupcake mixture on her lips reminded you of the slight mess that she had just made on your face. Another ring of the doorbell broke your kiss but seeing the excitement on Kate's face every time the doorbell rang was enough to keep you from giving her a pout.

----

"Baby, we're gonna be late!" you call out as you look at the time on your phone. The cookies and cupcakes were decorated and ready to take over to the compound in Tupperware. Kate and you had changed costumes, Kate called this one Murders Ken & Barbie. "I'm ready!" Kate walked out of your bedroom in a black suit with a pink undershirt paired with some black shoes, her hair tied back with some loose strands rounding her face, fake blood markings on her face and neck added to the murder look.

"Babe, you're drooling" Kate chuckled as you were stunned at how great your girlfriend looked. You wore Barbie's iconic pink and white gingham dress with a couple of steams of fake blood to add to the effect. "I'm sorry, but god damn it!" you replied. Kate pulled you closer to her, "Thank you Barbie, you look rather dashing yourself!" she spoke, softly smiling at you. 

"Do we really have to do to this party?" you asked, your mind racing with other ideas. Kate caught on quickly to your train of thought and lightly bit her bottom lip, "and miss this chance to show you off? I don't think so" she replied before kissing you softly, "besides, you've got all night to get me out of this suit" she added with a wink.

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