#hello to all the greed fans that live in my phone. i hope you are enjoying his second birthday

[waitineedaname]

I love when you get into a new fandom and establish yourself as someone who posts incessantly about The Character and get followed by the other blogs that post incessantly about The Character, forming a hivemind of mutuals all dedicated to being insane about The Character

[harryskalechips]

Illicit affairs Part three

A/N Hello guys! I’m sorry this part took so long. i’ve been so busy. Thank you for all the support and love. Each and every dm makes my day. I hope you like the ending idk hahaha dm me and send your thoughts! bye, I hope you enjoy

Their illicit affair isn’t really a secret anymore after being caught kissing on camera. Oh Harry, haven’t you learned not to be a romantic in public? Time to watch everything crumble down.

Tw: Cheating, smut

Thank you @harrysleftchelseaboot for letting me participate in your writing challenge! Here is part three! Any new writers or readers please check out the masterlist! 

here are my prompts:

“Promise you’ll stay by my side?”

“Don’t you see I’m trying?”

“It’s okay. I understand. You can leave, they all do.”

 Note: I do not condone cheating whatsoever! Please mind that this story is fictional! As much as it makes me sad to paint Harry as a cheater, it’s part of this storyline I thought of as I listened to Taylor’s album, Folklore.

Word count: 7.5k / Masterlist // Part 1 // Part 2 

When a married person participates in an affair, they already know the consequences that can come out of it. Not only is it a betrayal to their spouse but every vow they said at the altar is washed away and is drowned in a pool of greed and resentment.  Suddenly, their beautiful and favourite memory of their wedding day becomes a cursed thought... at least for Harry Styles. 

 A nightmare. A horrible nightmare that Harry never thought would come true. He sits up immediately half-naked in his sheets after his call with Y/N. He focuses on his phone, swiping through the articles written about their newly found scandal. Truthfully, he wanted to read them all but as he counted and tried to keep track of each one, he realized there were millions out there. 

His wife’s screams and torturing whimpers were hurting his brain, after all, she was just a couple of rooms down the hallway. Of course, he wanted to check on her or pack a bag and leave the house but that wasn’t his main priority. It was Y/N.  He could physically feel his heartache as he saw each headline along with pictures of him and her kissing in the parking lot at LAX. It was his fault. He knew it. He was too excited and happy to have Y/N back in his arms, he never thought a person working there or an undercover paparazzi would manage their way into the private area. 

Was he angry? Most definitely. But there was another feeling he had in his chest that was too stubborn to leave. He hasn’t felt like this in a while. The pressure building around his body like selfish vines, continuing to wrap around him until he choked. Until all the love Y/N gave him these past months were forced to be forgotten. He could feel it from his head to his toes. The unforgettable butterflies when he thinks of Y/N are bleached and gone as his anxiety took over. 

He wanted to cry and scream. His career is gone. His reputation is ruined. His fans are disappointed. His family, his friends -his wife! But most importantly, the woman who makes him the happiest man on earth is exposed to his world. The life he’s been sucked into for the last 9 years has finally sucked her in too. And that’s why he wanted to protect her from it in the first place. 

When he first decided he wanted to share his talents and be famous, he never realized there was a very big price he had to pay. His privacy - his innocent and naive mind being manipulated as he networked as a new celebrity while labels were put on him that he couldn’t fight back. He loves who he is right now but that was because of her and for some time now,  he wished the public could just fuck of. Sometimes he wished he was a regular guy living his own life so he wouldn’t have to deal with this bullshit. 

Thinking about his wishes and his life, he almost wanted to laugh at this present moment. Was this a dream or was he right about love? Once he finally commits to a woman he loves, the universe has an odd way of returning his new deck of cards. Stupid, because that’s not how you play and it’s been unfair for him his whole life.

He had to check on Y/N.

He tosses his phone onto the bed and gets ready as he purposely ignores the device and walks out of his room. His game plan was to sneak out of the house and come back later tonight to talk to his wife. It was obvious she knew about his affair and all Harry wanted to do was avoid her. 

“Sneaking out?” fuck. Harry keeps his hand on the railway as he looks behind him to see his wife standing near the wall with her arms crossed. Her eyes were swollen and her cheeks were so puffy. He wasn’t heartless. He felt bad for her.

“I was just going to get some breakfast.” Harry lies as he stares directly into her eyes. She wasn’t the same girl he married and she is no Y/N.

“You mind if you get me some too?” She nonchalantly replies, making him confused about her odd behaviour.

“Yeah, um what do you want?”

“I want to know why you fucking cheated on me.” Her calm strict tone changes into a more aggressive one as she couldn’t keep up her facade. He knew it would happen. 

“Look-”

“You cheated on me and embarrassed our marriage... and um you have the fucking face to tell me you’re going out for breakfast!”

“I wanted to give you some space before we talked about it.”

“You’re a coward! You cheated at least own up to it.”

“Alright okay! I cheated on you!” Harry steps off the staircase and approaches her. They stood 7 feet apart as both of them had rigid and uncomfortable stances.

“How long?” Harry looks up at the ceiling and releases a loud breath.

“Approximately a year.”

“I can’t believe you.” She cries silently as she looks at him in disappointment. She quickly wipes her tears away, knowing that her dignity is already in the ruins because of him. “I know I haven’t been a good wife to you but you haven’t been a good husband. I just never realized you gave up on our marriage already.”

“Are you joking? A couple of months after our wedding you’ve been the one acting cold! I loved you so much but I realized what we had isn’t who we are anymore.” Harry confesses in an agitated tone. 

“Harry after our wedding -You became busy not me! I tried telling you and giving you signs but you ignored me. I explicitly told you and you said you were in a good position in your career where you had so much potential… so I gave you space!”

“I tried reaching out to you so we can spend time together.” Harry furrows his eyebrows at her. “Don’t make me seem like the bad guy here. I was waiting for you to tell me you wanted to work our relationship out again. I gave you space!”

“I shouldn’t be the one to do that, Harry!” She pauses. “As time went by, I realized I didn’t need you as much anymore but I wanted to see what would happen if we stayed together. I still loved you!”

“You stop prioritizing us.”

“You did it first.” She scoffs as she takes her silk robe off her, leaving her in a short nightgown. She was so angry, she needed to find a way to cool off.  “You think I’m stupid? I knew you were seeing someone the moment you started taking that ring off. I just thought you had the common courtesy not to humiliate us and our careers -to not give up on what we signed up for. Our marriage.”

“So you’re saying you were  throwing a fit in your bedroom because I got caught?” Harry steps back a bit. He never realized how fucked up this relationship was.

“Obviously! What do you think I want in the papers? Not your affair with that college whore!”

“Watch your mouth.” Harry deepens his voice as he stares at her intently. “This scandal was not my intention. I’m not stupid like that.”

“Well, you’re stupid enough to get caught!” She rebuttals. She turns around walking to his room as she angrily tugs on the ends of her hair. “I don’t care what you do with your life but you should’ve thought about me and what would happen if anyone found out about our broken marriage.” She opens his walk-in closet and enters, leaving Harry to trail behind her. Without any hesitation, her hands begin to carelessly toss his clothes on the floor, knowing his favourite boots were to be specifically thrown at the wall. She was fuming.

“We had an image to carry and you ruined it because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself in public!”

…

“Y/N, I’m so glad you made it in today. I hope the paparazzi in front of the building didn’t hassle you too much.” Rob enters the meeting room and greets her in a sarcastic tone. “Unfortunately, they’ve been quite a nuisance for the rest of your co-workers.” He places a blank manila folder on the table and sits himself down as he looks at her in a serious manner. Y/N felt like she was being tortured, having just them in the room. “Paul will be coming in shortly, he has to deal with publicity first.” He was the one who called her. She barely saw him these past years as she worked more for Rob here at Columbia Records but she knew he was just as powerful after all, he was the company’s president. 

“They’ve been following me around ever since I left my apartment. Look, Rob, I’m sorry about-”

“Hold that statement. You shouldn’t be sorry.” His finger raises in the air. Y/N watches him carefully as he opens the folder in front of them. 

There… it had pictures of her infamous kiss with Harry, recent articles about the two of them and… her employment contracts. 

“You shouldn’t be sorry,” Rob repeats himself as he picks out the photo of them kissing and slides it to her on the table. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Y/N couldn’t believe this. She knew what was to come but she didn’t want to think it was true! This was her dream job and it was all going to be ripped away from her as if the last 3 years meant nothing to them.

“I have to let you go.”

“Rob, there’s nothing in my contract that says I can’t have a relationship with a co-worker.” Y/N remembers reading that bullet point when she first started her internship at Columbia records. Although it may have been years, that rule couldn’t possibly change.

“I think you’re forgetting Harry isn’t your co-worker but our client.” Another voice answers. Paul opens the door as he hears what she says. He takes the pen from the pocket on the left side of his chest and instantly picks up her contract and circles that point in red. She definitely forgot about that. She finally remembers how months ago she was reading her contract as she sipped her… 3rd glass of wine. 

“Oh.”

“Not just that but any employee that has publicly put our company on blast in front of the media requires immediate dismissal,” Rob adds in.

“Also It’s nice to see you again Ms. L/N.” Paul, a short middle-aged man sits beside Paul. “I had to deal with your mess outside. It’s getting out of control.” He adjusts his tie. “You do understand what actions we must take now?” He asks sternly, barely looking at her as he briefly reads her contract. 

“No, wait! It was a picture that I didn’t know about! Paul...Rob, please don’t do this. I’m so grateful to be working here.” She pleads.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I wish you told me about this sooner so we could have figured something out.” Rob shakes his head in disappointment.  “He’s married you know that. The damage control is more than what you guys could have possibly thought of.”

“I never meant for any of this to happen. Rob, I’m sorry. I truly am.” Y/N begins to cry again as if she wasn’t crying on her drive here. 

“Let me be honest, I  don’t want to let you go but I need to be fair. Our vision statement is to take care of our stars. With the disgrace of your affair being exposed, you can’t continue to work here while Harry is our client. He has a fixed contract so I can’t do anything to help you out.”

“I get it” She pauses a bit as she tries to take everything in.  “I think I should leave.” Y/N abruptly stands up and wipes her tears. She walks forward to give Paul a handshake. She then turns to a standing Rob but he ignores her hand and gives her a hug instead. 

“You have so much potential. I’m sorry your journey with us ends here.”

_

“Never knew you were a lying whore.” Jasmine murmurs under her breath as she walks past Y/N in the office. 

It sucked. It truly did. Y/N could feel all eyes on her as she walked to her office to clean things up. It’s crazy how she used to feel so intimidated walking in these hallways, then after receiving a platinum job offer, she became confident. Now, she’s just embarrassed and ashamed as she packed her things up. 

She tried her best to hold in her tears as she picked each picture frame off her bookshelf. “Everyone hates you, you know.” She looks to the left to see her close friend here from work, at her door.

“I know.” She bites her lip as she can feel tears forming in her eyes once again. Why can’t she stop crying? “You can insult me all you want. I’ve been receiving death threats all day from people I don’t know.” She looks down again and places random books in her bin. 

“Is he the guy you were talking about a week ago or was this something that started in London.”

“We were together for a year until we broke things off a couple of months ago.” Y/N confesses as she wraps her arms around herself. Marissa carefully walks inside the room and approaches her. Without another word, she hugs Y/N very tightly.

“I’m going to miss you around here.” That’s all she said. It gave Y/N a mixed message because she didn’t know if their friendship ended here along with her potential career. A short message like that made her more upset.

To be frank, Marissa didn’t know what to feel. She understood Y/N and Harry. But the affair? If her husband did that to her, she could never forgive them. Maybe that’s how a lot of people see it. Not only was this a betrayal of a spouse but a betrayal of integrity to everyone they know.

And because of this, Marissa made the choice to keep her distance from this sweet girl. How betrayed and played she felt as her co-worker was sleeping with their married client behind the world’s back. 

~

Y/N was a big mess. Her apartment used to be neat and organized as that’s how she is as a person but after coming home from work, scattered objects from her boxes laid lonely on her chestnut floors. 

She sat on along with them, drinking from the bottle of red wine as she read through articles and mean tweets about her. The only hope she had was for Harry to come and comfort her.

The sad thing is… he hasn’t answered any of her texts or calls since she broke the news to him this morning. Funny enough, the display on her screen changed to a call and as she hoped it was Harry...it was her mother calling. 

“Hello?” Y/N answer as she feels her cheeks become wet again. She was so embarrassed to talk to her mom. What does her mother think of her now?

“How have you been, baby?” Thankfully, she wasn’t angry but worried about her well being.

“Everyone hates me, mom. How am I supposed to find a job now.”

“You can come back home and I’ll take care of you.”

“I don’t want to leave LA.” Y/N feels her heart die a bit. LA was her dream. She wanted to make so many memories here. The only thing she gained was a reputation for being a man’s whore. She isn’t ready to leave and move back under her mom’s roof. After all her roof means her conservative rules. 

“I think you need to.” Her mother pauses. “Have you spoken to that celebrity yet?”

“Yes.” Y/N lies. She didn’t want to feel worst, knowing Harry was purposely avoiding her. 

“What did he say?”

“We’re going to talk about it soon.”

“Do you love him?” Her mother shoots out another question after the last one. She genuinely wanted to know how her daughter was but she couldn’t deny the disappointing feeling buried in her chest. 

“Yes.”

“How long were you guys together?”

“A year?”

“Does he have children?”

“No.”

“Why do you think your value is cheap to be sleeping with a married man?”

“Mom!” Y/N eyes widen at the candid question. 

“I’m not trying to hate on you Y/N. I just want to know why you let yourself be in this position.” Her mother lets out a sigh. “Do you think anyone will want to hire you after this scandal? Why couldn’t you wait until he got a divorce?”

“I love him.”

“He manipulated you!”

“No, he didn’t.” She pulls the phone away from her face due to being so irritated. “I thought you called me because you wanted to check up on me -Not to hate on my decisions!” She immediately hangs up the call and lays down on her floor.

Today has got be the worst day of her life.

~

It was the next morning after their affair was exposed and no one was feeling good. The rhythmic pattern of knocks on Y/N’s door wakes her up. She somehow managed to fall asleep on the floor last night leaving her to sit up and glance through her curtains to see the paparazzi loitering around downstairs. Letting out a sigh, she stands up and opens the door. Thankfully, she knew it was Harry from the way he knocked -which made her feel a whole lot better.

She opens the door and catches sight of him in front of her. Hope fills her eyes immediately as she quickly yanks him inside. Without another waste of breath, they hug each other so tightly. “Where were you? You weren’t answering my calls all day.” She mumbles into his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her, making her remember the little bubble they used to have before.

At least she knew they were safe here inside her apartment. 

“I’m sorry. I had to speak to Jeff and handle my wife all day.” He pulls away and holds her face in his hands. “Y/N baby, I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s okay.” She shakes her head and grabs his hand so she can lead them to her couch. “ Come sit down. How did you find your way into the building without getting caught?”

“I think you forgot I’m a pro at coming over here without getting seen.” He gives a small smile as he looks around her messy living room. “Did you sleep in here last tonight?” The throw blanket and tiny blue pillow on the floor catches his eye. 

“Sorry about the mess.” She pulls her hand away from his. She fixes her hair as she manages to move the boxes out of the way. “I did yeah. Fell asleep.” Y/N bit her lip in anxiety. She was scared to tell him she lost her job because of their relationship. 

“These boxes...” He continues to sit on the couch. He picks up a frame from one of them only to realize it was from her office. “Were you fired, Y/N?” His tone of voice automatically changing into a serious one. 

“Well, I went to the meeting Paul called me in for yesterday. Luckily, I saw Ro-”

“Answer my question.” He deadly stares at her while the frame in his hand is gripped tightly in his fist. 

“Yes.” Harry immediately stands up and reaches behind his pocket to grab his phone. “Wait, what are you doing?”

“I’m calling them, obviously.” He scratches his nose and glances at the window. As he held his phone to his ear on one side, he quickly walked around her apartment closing all her curtains. He keeps his standing stance once he finds himself back in the living room, leaving Y/N to sit on the couch and watch him. 

“Harry, hang up.” She suggests as she watches his every move. “Please, stop.”

“Y/N, they fired you.” He tosses his phone to the floor after being ignored by the company. “They can’t do that!”

“Yes, they can. We um...I uh... I broke rules from my contract.”

“Fuck, Y/N.” She could see how broken he was from hearing that. He stressfully runs his hand through his hair as he looks at her. “I’m sorry for kissing you in the parking lot.”

“It’s not your fault.” She bites her cheek as she looks down at her hands. In all honestly, she did feel some sort of anger towards him -maybe because she just lost her job.

“Are you mad at me?” Harry sits down beside her and guides her to straddle him. She immediately complies and wraps her arms around his neck. She rests her cheek against his chest as she feels a tear run down her face. Hopefully, he doesn’t feel it.

“It’s just...Why are you married?” She fixes her position while she feels his fingers slide underneath her sweatshirt. She lets out a sigh and rubs her face against his thick shirt. “I mean why out of all the days we knew each other, we started out like this? Why did I have to meet you and fall in love?” She lets out her frustrated confession.

“I don’t regret anything.” Harry takes a hard swallow and kisses her temple. She immediately sits up and looks at him with a surprised look on her face. 

“I lost my job and possibly my whole career!”

“Baby hey look,” He tightens his hold on her waist. “You’re not the only one. My career is obviously not doing well too. My fans are disappointed at me and I have this huge scandal on my back.”

“The only difference is you have money.” She crosses her arms. Harry gives her a strange look and sits up a bit. 

“I don’t think we’re understanding each other.” He rests his hands by his side. “I  don’t regret meeting you and falling in love. I don’t regret coming here every night to fall asleep beside you. You make me happy and if there is one thing I realized after our break up, it’s that I love you so much. You never stopped driving me crazy.”

“I’m sorry.” She shakes her head and pouts. “I’m just scared.” She breaks down in front of him. “You mean so much to me. I don’t want to lose you again. Now that I know we’re both fighting for each other, I don’t want to give up.”

“I don’t want to either.” He hugs her tightly. “You’re mine and I’m yours. We’re going to get through this despite what happened.”

~

“Harry.” Rob greets him since he’s already sitting at the table with the rest of their team. As Harry walked in with his coffee, he noticed the empty seat in front of his. That definitely made him angrier more than he thought. 

Instead of greeting everyone with a smile or a handshake, he says nothing and sits down. Today was a serious meeting, so he decided to wear a casual suit. He fixes his blazer and rubs his chin. “Let’s get started,” he speaks up in a monotone voice.

Jasmine speaks up after making eye contact with Rob. “Your name has been trending for the past few days so as Y/N’s.”

“I think I would know that.” He gives her cut eye and rolls his eyes at the end. He remembered last night, Y/N told him what she said to her. If only, he could get her fired. 

“Harry, Tour starts in a month. Should we continue with it?” Rob asks.

“Yes.” He folds his hands on the table, trying to not look at the empty chair. 

“But your reputation-”

“I want to release a public statement.” 

“I think that’s a good idea but what could you possibly say that can help your fans understand your cheat-” Jasmine gets cut off again by Harry.

“Jasmine stop.” He takes a sip of his coffee. Everyone’s eyes widen at his tone.

“Harry, do you know what you want to say?” Darlene, his publicist asks. Jeff stayed silent as he listened to the conversation. Harry quickly glances at him before continuing on.

“I’ll write everything myself and upload them on my social platforms when I’m ready.”

After the meeting ended, Harry stayed in his seat as he watched everyone leave. It was different knowing he would never see Y/N be one of them ever again. Marissa stalls a bit, cleaning up her papers as she looked up and spoke to him. “Shouldn’t you go to Rob’s office so you can join his meeting with Jeff?” Harry nods his head but doesn’t move.

“How is she?” She genuinely asks him. He looks at her and plays with the pen in his hand.

“She’s been locked up inside her apartment for the past two days.” He was too, to be honest. He only left her building to change at his house and come to this meeting. Lately, they’ve been spending as much time together. 

“Can you please tell her I love her?” Marissa leans her hip on the table and quickly wipes away a tear. “I understand her. I just feel a bit betrayed at the moment.”

“Okay.” He sits immediately and pulls out his phone. “I’m going to head to Rob’s now but I hope you girls stay friends. She doesn’t um exactly have anybody except for me.” She nods her head and walks around the table to give him a hug.

“Take care of her, Harry.”

-

Harry’s hands were shaking as he was about to post his message about his cheating scandal for millions to see. He did feel a bit reassured by Rob and Jeff, however. They promised him, they would try their best to fix his reputation and keep him and Y/N out of the media after this blows over. Since he still had two more years with Columbia, Rob also told him he would switch Jasmine out of his team. Maybe things will go well after a while? 

Posted 7:18 PM

A/N Bruh if this picture is blurry fuck I'm going to stuff my fist down my throat.  I’ll just repost the message here hahah booooo! where are my tomatoes? 

harrystyles To my fans, to the people who know me and most importantly to my wife I’m sorry. Nothing can excuse the reason why I cheated. Secretly behind the cameras, my marriage was already on a rocky path that she and I made the choice not to fix. We began to drift away from one another after a couple months in our marriage. With strong denial, both of us chose to let it be and continue the negative impact that was affecting us both. In 2017, I met an intern at my label who I never thought would change my life. I’m sorry that you all had to find out this way. Never in my life would I have thought I would be the man who cheats on his wife but please understand my marriage was broken from the very beginning. I’m not trying to hand out excuses to you all but instead, share an insight into what my life is.  It’s hard to have eyes watching me every day without them knowing anything about me. No one will understand how I felt and what dilemmas and issues I’ve been through but that’s okay. I spoke to my wife and we have decided to officially separate as we realized it was time. Cheating is never okay and I understand if you are angry at me or choose to unfollow me. I will forever be grateful for your support as I continue my journey in life. Y/N, I love you. Thank you for being my rock this past year. I’m sorry for all the hurt you’ve been going through. I know you don’t deserve this because you’re the most genuine and sweetest girl I adore. You’re my soulmate and I wouldn't be as happy as I was without you. H

-

“Are you really going to go?” Y/N bit the sleeve of her sweater as she sat on her bed watching Harry pack his clothes into his luggage. After this past week, he was able to pick most of his stuff up from his house. Now Y/N’s apartment was more claustrophobic than usual. A couple of days ago, he also posted his statement. Luckily most of his fans understood him, even though there is still some backlash about it.

“I disappointed my fans enough. I think I should.” He itches his nose and sits down beside her. “You’re going to be a good girl for me while I’m gone right.” Her cheeks turn red as she shyly nods.

“I’ll miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too.” he kisses her 

“I need to find a job or else my mom is going to cut me off and make me move back home.”

“I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it.” He kisses her neck. “Did you forget your boyfriend is a mega-millionaire?”

“He’s also married.” She teases him back. Fortunately, her anxiety hasn’t been that bad due to Harry being by her side 24/7. She was getting used to being in their bubble all the time. 

“Not in 6 months.” his tongue dips out of his mouth as he gives her little kisses on her chest. “You’re really beautiful did you know that?”

“I think you’re gorgeous.” She bites her lip as she takes in the smell of his cologne on her pillow. It’s been nice waking up to him every morning. Something she has not been able to really do ever since they started seeing each other.

“Mmm, really.” He looks up her at her as he slowly raises her thin T-shirt. “Are you trying to get some extra brownie points before I leave?” He kisses her belly button. 

“Maybe?” She squints her eyes and smiles at him.

“I love you, Y/N. I hope you know that.”

“I love you.” She reaches for him again so they can kiss. His hands quickly hold onto her waist as she sits up and tries to remove his shirt. “You’re going to be leaving me again” She whispers to him while she stares into his green eyes.

“I’ll be thinking of you every day.”

“Without you, I’m scared. Promise you’ll stay by my side.”

“I’ll check on you daily. I got you as long as you got me.” He gives her a cheesy smile making her eyes light up. He leans down to kiss her once more as he guides her to lay down on the bed. “Remember the first time I fucked you? On your dining room table.”

“Mhm.” Y/N hums as she feels his hands take off her shorts. 

“How about that time after we got back together and I ate you out on the plane?”

“Harry.” She bites her lip while she watches him rub his two fingers on her wet center. 

“You’re such a good girl for daddy yeah?”  He slips his fingers underneath the fabric then gives it a taste. “I’m going to miss the way you like crazy baby.” he bits his lip as he sits on his knees. He takes her legs and opens them a bit wider. His hands roam her body as if this was the last time they were going to be together.

“I want you now.” She lifts her shirt up as she watches Harry grope her breasts. 

“Patience bub.” He smirks at her as his hands take her underwear off. “You’re my baby.” He softly bites her nipple. “My precious girl.” He kisses the spot where her heart is. “I think you were made for me.” 

She smiles softly as she kisses the same spot on his body. “You deserve the world.”

“Aw fuck. I‘m so in love with you.” He smiles so happily as he looks up at her ceiling. He’s never felt like this with anyone except for her. It’s everything about her that reels her in. Her smile, her soft personality, her sweet kisses, and her loving soul. How did he miss out on her before?

“Well, don’t just say it. Show me.”

-

It’s been a month since Harry left for tour and although he promised to check on her every day -it stopped. 

At first, Y/N thought nothing about it. After all, maybe he’s just busy with his shows (you know since he’s touring the world but after a while, he stopped answering her texts. That’s when she knew he was doing it on purpose. 

At the moment, she was working at an art gallery in East Los Angeles. Luckily, she was working in the offices upstairs sorting their finances. It was hard at first finding a job and that was something she never told Harry.

Every record label and management wanted nothing to do with her. Y/N could barely leave the house without a group of girls whispering behind her back. Lastly, she still had new recent paparazzi pictures of her on daily mail.

Without Harry, she felt lonely and excluded from everyone else in Los Angeles. She still cried herself to sleep on some nights because she just felt like an overall disappointment.

/

Knocks on her door make her confused as she cooked herself some lunch in the kitchen. Dusting her hands off on her apron, she lets go of her knife and tomato and heads to the foyer.

“Hello.” There she was. In real life. Harry’s ex-wife. Y/N has only seen her once and now that it was her second time, she still felt intimidated. 

“Hi.” Y/N unties her apron and hooks it on the hook beside her. She felt insecure to be in such a lousy outfit compared to her boyfriend’s supermodel ex-wife. 

“I’m sorry I came out of the blue. I got your address from my assistant and I wanted to speak to you.”

“Oh, that’s okay. Come inside. Did you see any paparazzi.”

“Harry told me to go through the back.” Does she still speak to Harry? He’s been ignoring me for a few days now. 

“Um Okay. Would you like anything?”

“No.” She gives a soft smile as she looks around her apartment. She eyes Harry sweater laying on the other couch and takes a swallow. “I wanted to see you face to face than through call. Plus I wanted to see the apartment my husband would sneak off to every night.”

“I’m sorry about what Harry and I did to you.”

“Don’t mention it.” She shakes her head. “You’re just sorry because you got caught.” Y/N’s eyes widen. “I didn’t come here to fight with you. I came here to get some closure so I can move on with my life. We sold our house in hidden hills. Although my marriage was broken I think being publicly humiliated was traumatizing enough.”

“I understand.” she tucks her hair behind her ear.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Does he make you feel special? Make you feel like your the only girl in the world?” She eyes her apartment once more. “Does he fuck you until you forget your own name?”

“I’m sorry what the fuck.” Y/N stands up and crosses her arms. “What are doing here? Get to the point.”

“I’m just here to tell you that whatever he makes you feel right now, it’s going to disappear. After all, he’s famous. He can have anything in the world. It won’t take too long until he gets tired of you.”

“Get out of my apartment.”

“You should’ve gotten out of my marriage before you weaselled yourself in bitch!”

“Leave!” Y/N shouts. As she takes the woman’s Gucci bag and throws it towards her door. After she left, Y/N couldn’t help but cry and lose her appetite for lunch.

I’m a whore. I’m a whore. I’m nothing but a whore.

~

She was starting to get used to having a pale life. Where there were no butterflies or colours. No new exciting promotions or scenarios at work. Now she adapted to a routine of eat, sleep and repeat. 

What sparked her day differently today, however, was the arms wrapped around her as she woke up in her sheets. It was him. 

“Harry?” She slowly opens her eyes as she turns onto her back to see him half-awake as he laid down on the pillow beside her. 

“Hi.” He gives her a soft smile. 

“What are you doing here?” She sits up and looks at her phone. “Don’t you have a show tomorrow in Canada?”

“Mhm. I missed you though.” He pulls himself closer to her and kisses her arm. 

“You’ve been ignoring my texts this past week.” She pushes her arm off him and pouts.

“That’s because I was busy and I was scared I might tell you my little secret a bit too early.”

“What?”

“Get dressed.”

~

Y/N kept silent as she watched Harry drive in his car. She sat in the passenger seat observing the way he drove. One of his hands on the wheel as the other held her hand. The shades on his eyes resting so pretty on the bridge of his nose. He was such a dream to look at. 

“How have you been, baby? How’s that job at the art gallery?” He glances at her before pulling his hand away so he can take a bite out of her bagel. It was the early morning so the sun was just about to rise as they continue to drive forward.

“It’s been boring. No one has been really talking to me. If they do, they ask if I can get you to meet them.” She rolls her eyes and takes his arm so she can take a bite of the bread in his hand. 

“Your boyfriend is famous? He can’t be that popular?”

“He was actually trending for a few days.” She smiles. “How have you been?”

“I’m still getting shit from my management because of what happened a month ago.” He takes another bite of the bagel as he keeps his eyes on the road. “You know, I think if the gossip sources would stop talking about it, everyone could move on. This is about us not them. They’re just judging us without any mercy.”

“I know.” Y/N thinks back about the death threats flooding her Instagram dms. 

“We’re here.” Harry signals his light as he turns into a long-hidden driveway. Suddenly a big beautiful white home comes into view. Y/N never thought houses this big would be in Malibu.

“Who’s house is this?” She asks as she gazes at the beautiful sunset behind the home. The ocean was beautiful as the sunlight reflected against it. Harry ignores her as they both approach the main door.

Y/N was waiting for him to knock or call the owner but instead, he opens it. “Harry, you can’t do that!” He smiles and looks at her.

“Why not?” He walks in and looks straight at the big window showing the water. 

“This isn’t your house.”

“True.” He shrugs his shoulders and turns himself towards her. He takes his hands and rests them on her waist. 

“Then uh who’s is it?” She widens her eyes and looks around the beautiful big home. 

“It’s ours.” 

“What? Is this why you’ve been ignoring my texts?” he nods as she jumps into his arms. 

“I was a bit busy decorating a new home and running a world tour.”

“I love you. I hope you know that.” She gives a small smile and hides her face in his chest.

“I love you too baby.” He smiles and spins her around. “I’m sorry for all the shit I put you through.”

“It’s okay. Thank you for the new home.” she pulls away and looks at the view in front of them. She takes a big gulp and looks at him.

And as much as Harry thought this was his happy ending with the girl he loves, he never took into account how much their exposed affair has impacted her. 

He never realized that she didn’t want to stay in California anymore. That she feels like a new stranger in this life that she built. That her dream career was taken away from her. What’s going to happen? Can love truly sustain them both as reality continues to stuff their consequences down their throats?  

“As much as I want to live here with you here, Harry… I don’t think I can. I don’t think I’m ready.”   

“Y/N.” Harry was not expecting that answer. “It will be like the usual you know, you already know what to expect.” He tries to convince her.

“No, I won’t.” She shakes her head. Why does she have to always be the one to ruining things for them? Maybe, because on the inside, she feels like a house can’t make her feel better about her new life? “You’re going to be gone most of the time. What happens if we end up like your marriage?”

“Don’t you see I’m trying?” He speaks a bit more in a serious tone. “I know with your new job you won’t be able to live in your shoebox apartment without your mum’s help. I want to take care of you!”

“What are people going to think? You’re living with your mistress!”

“Fuck what people think! I thought you said we were going to be in this together.” He was confused. Why couldn’t she just live with him in this house he bought for her.

“Harry, I did say that and I still do but don’t force me to move in with you. I’m not ready.”

“What can possibly be holding you back?” His voice softens. 

“My life is falling apart and being picked every day!” She rubs her eyes in frustration.

“Everyone knows we’re together, isn’t that what you wanted.”

“Not like this, Harry. You know that.”

“Yeah, I do but it happened. Now we can just be together despite what they say about our cheating scandal.”

“No one wants to hire me” She looks at him again with disappointment in her eyes. 

“You have a job already at the gallery. What do you mean?”

“The owner owes a favour to my mom but I can’t use anything useful with all the experience I have. Every management and label rejected me before I could even get an interview.”

“Are you saying all of this is my fault.” He scoffs. “Y/N, it's a job. There are tons more out there that you can use your experience for.”

“I don’t think you understand how important my job was to me.”

“The job that I got you?” He sarcastically replies back. “I’ll try and get you-”

“Shut up.” She rolls her eyes. 

“Okay fine, you don’t want to move in with me. Where do we go from here?” He lets out a sigh and looks around the home. He was mad they weren’t going to live here but he didn’t want her to leave him.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. I understand. You can leave, they all do.”  Y/N immediately looks away from the window and looks at him instead. 

“Who said I was leaving. I love you.” She raises her hand next to his. “We can wait until I feel like I’m ready to start a new chapter.”

“Actually I have a plan.” He smiles mischievously at her and pulls her out of the home.

Thankfully, Harry brought her to a hidden beach where they could spend some time together after being apart for so long. They spent hours talking about their lives and new things they haven’t shared with each other before.

Y/N even told him everything about how she’s been feeling these past few days. She came to the decision that Los Angeles isn’t for her anymore. And although she would love to live with Harry, she needed to figure out her life first. After all, this was her only serious relationship.

And because he was so understanding and patient with her after he learned about everything she was hiding from him. He made sure to be the boyfriend he should’ve been a year ago.

That’s when she knew he had to marry her.

~

2 years later…

“Harry!” Y/N calls him from the stairs. 

It’s been two years since they began to date publicly after their affair was exposed. Luckily a few months after, his divorce was finalized and the media laid off their backs. 

Now the couple lives happily together in their new home but it isn’t in Malibu but instead his home in London where he first brought her to. It’s were they made up and realized that they belong to each other -this had to be their home. And suddenly it felt like London belonged to them where they can start a new chapter in their lives. There was barely any paparazzi here and everyone accepted Y/N with open arms, especially Anne. 

“What’s wrong, babe?” He runs down the stairs with a gym towel on his shoulder. 

“Take Evelyn please.” She gently gives their 1-year-old baby to her Finacé. “I have to run down the office. Louis needs me.”

Funny enough when they moved to London, a job offer was presented to her from Harry’s bandmate Louis Tomlinson. Due to their long term time hiatus from the band, he decided to start his own management company and help aspiring artists start their journey off in the right hands. 

Now, Y/N worked as a marketing agent for the company. Although there was no Rob or Marissa, she did find herself having more memories here at fearless management. 

Maybe the only thing left to do is get married?

You taught me a secret language

I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well

For you, I would ruin myself

A million little times

[crookswithbooks]

Unwanted Company

Day Six - Blitzo is lonely and Stolas is horny. Together, they make a wonderful pair.               

Christmas in Hell was an interesting affair.

Being a commemoration of the birth of their tormenter, most demons chose to celebrate the holidays by burning Christ memorabilia or getting drunk and cursing his names in the streets. Sometimes both. Others merely ignored the holiday, seeing it as just another winter day, or in other words just another day as winter in Hell was essentially the same as every other season in Hell, i.e. terrible and on fire.

Stolas was an exception to this rule. As a mortal he had loved the holidays, and that love had transferred over into the afterlife. He liked to see it as less of a celebration of Jesus and more a celebration of capitalism and beautiful aesthetics. That was more his style. Unfortunately, the rest of his family did not share his love for the season. He was subjected to another series of lectures by Estelle when she discovered wreaths hung about the house, lectures that involved the catapulting of many an object towards his face, and Octavia merely groaned and left the room whenever he tried to coerce her into a Christmas carol.

Thus Stolas was forced to turn to his one source of comfort when his family decided that even they were fed up with his shenanigans. He twirled the phone wire around his fingertip as he waited for the call to pick up.

“Oh Blitzy~!”

On the other end of the line, Blitzo felt one of his eyes twitch. He was already in a terrible mood and this phone call was the cherry on top of the shit sandwich. As it happened, Blitzo was not a Christmas person. He was happy to take advantage of the season’s marketability for his business, but even that only served to sink his spirits more than they already were. It was depressing to watch the atrocious acts that greed prompted humans to commit.

Now he found himself curled up in his office chair, all alone with not even Moxxie or Millie to keep him company; both of them had taken a day off for the holidays even though Blitzo knew for a fact that neither of them bought into the Christmas spirit either. He had invited Loona to join him but the conversation had lasted for about two seconds before she flipped him off and went to go burn down a building with her friends for anarchical reasons.

He was lonely. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but it was true. So it was just his luck that he was to receive a phone call from the one person he would never choose to spend the holidays with.

“What do you want you piece of shit dicklord?” Blitzo grumbled, slumping down on his desk so that his chin rested in his arms. He was too tired to be genuinely angry at him and so his words were devoid of their usual ferocity.

“You flatter me. I was wondering if you wanted to join me for the evening? I was thinking we could…” Stolas smiled as images flashed through his mind. “Entertain each other?”

Blitzo opened his mouth to tell him to fuck off but found himself pausing. He had caught a glance of the picture hanging over his desk, one of him and the rest of I.M.P smiling after a successful kill. Blitzo had his arms clutched around them and the others smiled up at him, admit a bit reluctantly. He stared around again at his empty office and before he knew what he was doing, he said, “Okay.”

“…Okay?” Stolas, who moments before had been lounging casually upon his bed, now sat up, a hint of hope and confusion coloring his tone. “Okay, you want to join me for Christmas?”

“Yes?” Blitzo cringed further into the safety of his arms. What the hell was he doing? Surely he couldn’t be considering spending any amount of time with the horniest owl lord in hell, and yet… It was too late to take back his words so he pushed forward, hoping not to regret them further. “We’re not doing anything, just to be clear. However, I don’t… entirely hate the concept of your presence right now. So… what do you say?”

Stolas had no idea what had prompted the change of heart, but he wasn’t about to turn down an offer like that. “I would love that. And you’re sure this is what you want?”

Weirdly, Blitzo was.

 When he arrived he was greeted with a text that merely read Meet me on the balcony ;), thus implying that the use of a front door was one they would be forgoing that night. Blitzo sighed and prepared for the painful climb up the tangled tresses and onto the sculpted balcony. He pulled himself over the last rung with a pained grunt, using the length of his tail to secure him the rest of the way over. At first he didn’t see anyone and he was almost worried he had fallen for one of Stolas’ tricks despite himself. That was when he noticed the owl demon skulking in the shadows of the doorway, the light from the moon casting specters on his looming form.

“Hello Blitzy,” he greeted softly, his head tilted incredulously to one side. “I didn’t think you’d really come.”

“Yeah, well, I almost didn’t,” Blitzo confessed bitterly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Truthfully speaking, I have no idea why I’m here. I hate a lot of people, and I mean a lot of people, but you take the cake for the filthiest scum of the earth I’ve ever encountered.”

“The night’s still early for talk like that.” Stolas waltzed forward, his steps a lilting, sensuous thing. Blitzo found himself staring, hating himself for doing so. As much as he insisted it was purely business to friends and co-workers, Blitzo couldn’t deny that he didn’t entirely hate their nights together. It certainly beat whatever plans he would have had for the evenings. Stolas leaned on the railing besides him, his gaze piercing as he stared down at Blitzo. Later the imp would deny the blush that crawled unwanted up his neck.

“I’m fairly certain I said nothing was happening tonight,” Blitzo reminded him, brushing off his pants. “I just wanted some company and you happened to be the easiest solution.”

“Of course,” Stolas agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “I would never think of doing anything untoward to you. I know our past has been mostly, or rather completely, sexual in nature, but I do have interests outside of intercourse you know.”

Blitzo scoffed. “Oh, like what? And please never say intercourse like that again. I feel like I need to take a shower.”

Stolas traced a fingernail across the railing, a slow, lazy path. Blitzo’s throat went dry and he reminded himself again that nothing was happening that night. His body, however, did not seem to get the memo. “I am a fan of stargazing myself and I’m actually quite a good herbalist. I’ve also been known to enjoy conversation from time to time. What about you? Any interests outside of your own personal pleasure?”

“Every interest is to serve my personal pleasure,” Blitzo said smugly, his tail coiling tauntingly behind him. “It’s the only real thing worth pursuing in this dump of a hellhole we’re all living in. I don’t have time or use for hobbies.”

“Is that why you’re so interested in killing?” Stolas prompted. “It provides you pleasure to watch others fail and die?” There was no malice or judgement in his voice, just plain curiosity. Blitzo hesitated a moment before answering.

“It pays the bills,” he said at last, the current line of questioning making him strangely uncomfortable. “I don’t really like it so much as it’s convenient. Not to mention those assholes deserved it. Not a single human gets by without doing something disgustingly rotten to someone else and damning themselves for all eternity. Why do you think we have such an overpopulation issue?”

“But you can’t really believe that, can you?” Stolas insisted, drawing closer to the imp. Blitzo’s skin prickled with goosebumps and he took an instinctual step back. “Surely there’s some good in people. At least one of them?”

“There isn’t,” Blitzo snarled, anger fueling into his voice to make up for his discomfort. “And I know for a fact you don’t believe so either.”

“Ah, you caught me,” Stolas admitted, but instead of moving back in defeat he only drew in closer. This time Blitzo found himself unable to move, his feet seemingly stuck to the floor. “I find humanity to be quite undeserving of any kind of mercy. But I know you don’t.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“Oh but I do.” Stolas met his gaze, but something had softened in his eyes and it was no longer the predatory look from before. “I don’t just want you for your body, you know. I’ve watched you with your supposed ‘co-workers’—I’ve seen the way you look at them. You care for them. That’s why you’re here with me tonight. I’m a replacement for them, aren’t I?”

Angry heat flashed through Blitzo and he moved to step away but Stolas caught his wrist in one hand. His grip was surprisingly strong, a fact that did many things to the imp. “Don’t lie to me. Not on Christmas.”

“Oh please,” Blitzo snorted, rolling his eyes and ignoring the pounding of his heart. “You don’t really buy into all that cheap Christ stuff, do you? It’s just a scam to sell candy and toys to desperate parents. Christmas spirit is just a lie we tell ourselves to sleep better at night.”

“Maybe I don’t believe all of it,” Stolas admitted, his other hand sliding down Blitzo’s throat and curling around the base of his neck. Blitzo felt a shudder work its way down his body and he cursed the fact that this always happened whenever he got around the other demon. “But is it so wrong to want to celebrate, to spend time with the people you love?”

“What about your own family, huh?” Blitzo shot back, the words his only defense mechanism as Stolas slowly unraveled him. “You have a real one so why don’t you spend this stupid holiday with them?”

For a moment the seductive façade faded and it was just Stolas, eyes widened and beak tightened into a frown. “They’re busy,” he snapped quickly, and the look was gone before Blitzo could evaluate it too heavily. “Besides, I’m spending it with you. Per your agreement, if you remember.”

He took another step forward so that their two bodies were pressed flush up against the railing. Blitzo’s hands tightened on the cold metal and he averted his eyes. “I didn’t agree to this.”

“Then stop me,” Stolas said in reply, knowing for a fact that the imp wouldn’t. As he leaned down, the heat of their bodies mingling, Blitzo considered breaking the moment, pursuing the look on Stolas face from earlier. In the end though, he decided they would have enough time to discuss it later that next morning, after the events of the night had faded into a distant dream.

Right then, though, Blitzo had a horny demon owl to attend to.

[uwunnie]

Hello, everyone.

To recap: There are new fans, and old fans as well as recently turned fans, who truly believe you have to choose Monsta X or Wonho otherwise you’re not a “real” fan. It has reached a point where toxic idiocy is spewed all over Twitter — not really that surprising, but still very annoying — and it has now reached Tumblr; the one place I felt was pretty neutral.

Initially, I wasn’t going to say anything because I felt like it’d only add to the drama. However, as time passes, I see the fandom heading into a direction that is very...well, doomed. Of course, this is merely my opinion and I don’t really expect anyone to hold it to a high regard because I am not God, nor do I believe I am a God-like figure. However, I do think I can still state my opinion upon the matter and try to shed some knowledge that may be utilized positively.

Before I begin, I’m going to try and insert a ‘Read More,’ but should I not be able to make it to a laptop in time before my patience completely disappears, I will tw it as a “long post.” If you dislike long posts and don’t have them filtered, though, and this pops up on your dash and annoys you — I apologize, kinda.

Anyways, let’s go.

—

I don’t really know what happened. Or well, I do, unfortunately.

In the beginning, Monbebes stuck together. We all came together and showed our support as a united body of like-minded individuals who shared their love and support for Monsta X — whether they were seven or individual.

Things went well. Petitions were signed. Billboards were funded. Zoo’s were created.

But at some point, Monbebes began idolizing other Monbebes — and I don’t mean looking up to sensible fans, but ones who are problematic.

Allow to me to repeat this to avoid misunderstandings: It’s okay to look up to fans who are NOT problematic. It really is — be friends with them, aspire to be more like them, I don’t care; do you so long as it’s positive.

But....but....to choose problematic fans to look up to? To choose ones who are known to fetishize a culture? To choose ones who are known, and praised, to fetishize sexualities? To choose ones who provide false hope in exchange for clout while simultaneously invading REAL people’s lives?

Yeah, that’s where everything went wrong.

The wrong people built platforms and their voices were, inevitably, elevated. Everyone began dividing and forming cliques in the name of “unity.” Everyone began losing sight of the big picture — the big picture being a positive resolution.

People stated they wanted a positive outcome, but only if it was on their terms.

Greed. Greed. Greed.

Selfishness replaced selflessness.

Various Monbebes began inserting themselves into the narrative as if it was their own personal emotions that mattered more than Monsta X’s — and that’s not to devalue anyone’s feelings, but I mean...it’s the boys who were directly affected by what happened.

Wonho was the one who had to receive backlash for past events that don’t equate his worth.

Shownu’s voice was silenced despite being a victim to sexually implicit lies and harassment.

Minhyuk sacrificed his own emotions and began keeping hardships to himself.

Kihyun was forced into voicing over his friend’s song lyrics, and is also continually made fun of despite him speaking out and asking fans to not refer to him as “small” and “tiny.”

Hyungwon received, and continues to bear, backlash because certain fans think he’s a liar and also like to criticize him for being “lazy” as if the dude doesn’t work his ass off every day.

Jooheon’s mental health issues were pushed under the rug by many people within the fandom and as soon as he returned, various fans demanded he work more — try harder, be louder and more energetic.

Changkyun’s emotions were disregarded — many fans stating he has an “attitude problem” and seems cold despite the dude literally trying to make everyone around him happy and also sticking up for Monbebes.

Monsta X, regardless of the number, were all continuously pushed past their limits; treated as machines and play-things rather than human beings.

And this is only what has been shown to us. Think about everything that’s transpired that we haven’t seen.

—

I understand that those months were hard, I really do. I was right there with everyone not getting any sleep and trying to balance school, work, projects, etc. I understand it was very emotionally upsetting and I am not devaluing anyone’s feelings because I know it was hard.

But a line has to be drawn.

There has to be a realization that it is Monsta X who has endured the worst of the entire situation. It is not fair to say that the fans had it worse when MX’s actual jobs, lives, health, and futures were all tampered with, endangered, and victimized.

And to top it off — as positive of a resolution that could be made in the situation has been met and people continue to complain.

I understand it may not be ideal — everyone wanted them to come together as seven again and I know how disheartening it is that that isn’t an option right now, but...they’re still here.

Wonho get’s to continue with his career. He can still interact and talk to us. He can do what he wants — I mean, the dude literally has a whole Instagram account to himself when it took a year or two, maybe more, just for SSE to give MX personal cell phones.

The six active members get to continue as well. They released an album that is more than likely going to be nominated for a golden disc award and they’re all, seemingly, recovering. They’ve been able to vacation and from the looks of it, the company is going a little easier on them with their schedules — in a way.

In other words: All seven of them are content.

And for the fandom, we still get to see them. We get to listen to their voices and see their faces. We get to interact with them and watch new shows, etc.

They’re still here — and honestly? It’s a miracle.

Do you know how hard it is for a people to continue considering what transpired? How unusual it is for an artist to be able to overcome legal battles that usually deem unfavorable in the position he was in?

I’ve been in the Kpop fandom for nearly 12 or 13 years now and this is the first time I’ve ever seen legal cases turn out okay for an idol.

History was made and a positive resolution was met, but yet — hardly anyone wants to celebrate.

Instead, a big chunk of the fandom now wants to dive into more drama — separate Monbebes and Wenees from each other and build more cliques.

Say stupid shit like “you’re not a real fan if you only support Monsta X” and “you’re not a real fan if you only support Wonho.”

“Wenees are superior.”

“Monbebes are superior.”

“Wenees love Wonho!”

“Monbebes love Monsta X, and Monsta X only!”

“Let’s listen to boycottbebes!”

“Let’s listen to problematic tarotbebes!”

“Let’s listen to akgaes!”

Just...shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut. Up.

—

I hate to break it to everyone who believes the quotes above, but we are all the same.

Monbebes are Wenees, and Wenees are Monbebes.

There is no competition.

There is no Monsta X without Hoseok, and there is no Hoseok without Monsta X.

—

You cannot hate the root and only love the flower just like you cannot hate the flower and be fascinated by its roots. In the same regard, a leaf cannot hate another upon the stem because to do so would be the leaf despising itself.

—

TL;DR: Stop the fan wars before you ruin damn near six years of love and (relatively abundant) peace.

[wonderlustlucas]

lost - pjy x jw

⇢ prompt “Just a little lost.” ⇢ pairing park jinyoung x jackson wang ⇢ word count 1.3k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings none ⇢ summary “How about a cute night conversation fluff between Jackson and Jinyoung? Just something fluffy and cute I guess? :))”—request

No matter how comfortable he may be, sprawled out on his stomach with his face nestled in the space between two pillows, Jinyoung cannot ignore the incessant vibration of his cell phone against the wood of his bedside table. Leaning up on his elbows, disoriented and blindly reaching for the nuisance of a device, he distantly curses himself for never purchasing an alarm clock on Amazon so he could power his phone off for bed. Not that he finds himself receiving calls every night just as he’s fallen asleep, but still.

Bringing the phone closer to his face, Jinyoung grimaces at the harsh light and squints hard to read the caller ID. Just as he’s done so, it feels as if his heart comes to a careening stop, limbs suddenly heavy with unease he doesn’t quite understand. Then, his heart rate picks up in a panicked frenzy and he taps the green icon without a second thought.

“Hello?”

“Oh, shit. You answered,” Jackson answers. While hearing his voice, rasped and groggy, somewhat calms Jinyoung’s nerves, such a reply has him frowning.

“Of course I answered,” Jinyoung snaps, tone laced with annoyance. He quickly mutters an apology. “That’s what friends are for, no?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jackson hums. Then, a long pause that leaves Jinyoung forgetting to breath. “I’m sorry for calling so late. I just needed someone to talk to and you were the only person I thought of.” Jinyoung finds this hard to believe. Not only is GOT7 family, but Jackson has a handful of friends who care deeply about him. Nevertheless, he finds himself smiling at the revelation, rolling onto his back and switching the call to speaker mode. “It’s no problem,” Jinyoung assures, “I was only playing Valorant.” He lies.

I miss you, is what he almost says.

Jackson laughs, though it sounds a little tired. “You sure about that? Sounds like I woke you up.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Jinyoung grumbles with a roll of his eyes, “why did you call, anyway?”

Again, a long pause. Jinyoung’s starting to get worried he is going to be told something he isn’t prepared to hear. “I don’t know, honestly,” Jackson admits, quiet enough that Jinyoung has to strain to hear him. “I guess I knew you would actually understand what I’m feeling.”

“And what are you feeling?” He asks, voice shaky.

“Just a little lost, I suppose,” Jackson sighs, and Jinyoung finds his brows furrowing in confusion. Jackson? Lost? Always confident and taking up new opportunities with gratitude and elation, Jackson is the last person he expected to feel such a way. “Overwhelmed, too. This business is so competitive these days, y’know? Here and in Seoul, we continuously have to get better, do this, do that, follow the current trend while also trying to figure out what the next will be. I feel so greedy. We’ve been so successful and I don’t want to ever lose what we have. But then it gets so tiring, and I realize I’m not happy like I used to be, just going whichever direction I’m being pushed. And I start to forget what my purpose even is, anymore.”

Jinyoung has to pause and really mull over what Jackson has just told him. Sure, the seven of them have spent countless nights discussing such stresses and hidden fears, but never has he received a phone call from one of his bandmates at almost two in the morning. Especially not Jackson.

“Jackson,” he begins, struggling to find the right words somewhere in between actual good advice and bullshit he doesn’t need to hear, “it’s okay to feel greedy when this is our job. By nature, it’s a competitive occupation, and as long as it doesn’t get to your head, sometimes you need to have that greed, and even a little arrogance, if you want to keep that success.”

Jinyoung pauses incase his friend wants to speak. At the silence, he takes it as his cue to continue.

“But you can’t let it take your happiness away. Humans are kind of like computers, we work and work and work, and then we overwork, we refuse to backdown from competition, and then we break. We’re like computers in a lot of ways, but we can’t multitask like they do. No matter what, Jackson, you have to work with what makes you happy. You’re not going to find your purpose again until your happy.”

“What the fuck? Are you a philosopher or some shit?” Jackson laughs, but Jinyoung doesn’t miss his sniffle or the choked sound of his words.

He shrugs, trying to fight a smile. “No. I remember learning about how our brains are like computers in psychology, though.”

“Sounds like an excuse a philosopher would say,” Jackson snorts, followed by a loud huff. “Hey, thank you for that. Are… Are you happy? Have you lived by that same advice?”

Jinyoung purses his lips, closes his eyes and hopes he can find the words to how he truly feels. Is he happy? With his career? Himself? Friends? Family? Love life? Well, maybe not that last one, but that is not something he can necessarily explain to Jackson, of all people.

“Yes,” he decides, “of course there’s stuff that makes my life difficult, y’know. Like JYP. But I love making music, I love performing, I love acting, I love our fans, and I love you guys. I once felt like you right now, though. But then I realized there’s no point in caring about what other people think of you, good or bad. It all depends on how you feel, how you work, and what you want to do.”

Jackson makes a noise of understanding. “You’re a real wise one, you know that?”

Jinyoung chuckles, rolling onto his side and staring at the screen of his phone, trying to picture what Jackson is doing right now and almost wishing he had FaceTimed, instead. Is he in bed, too? Has he been crying a lot recently? Sleeping well, or are the bags beneath his eyes puffy and blue? These are all questions he can ask tomorrow, he decides, realizing with a sag of his shoulders just how much he misses his friend. Friend.

“I’ve been told that once or twice, actually.” “Oh? What enlightening advice have you given before?”

“Told them how they should keep in touch more often rather than calling mid-breakdown in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jackson grumbles, chuckling nevertheless. “I’ll keep that in mind, though. You sure I wouldn’t be a bother?”

“No! Of course not,” Jinyoung fires back a little too quickly, “I’m home by seven every day and have nothing to do, I’d appreciate the company.” Cringing, he prays the underlying nervousness in his voice isn’t noticeable, oblivious to how this has Jackson feeling warm and fuzzy all over. “Well, alright,” Jackson says, then, much softer, “thank you, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t thank me, I wish you called me sooner,” Jinyoung replies, “you take care of yourself now, Mr. Wang. Text me tomorrow. Or call. I’ll always be here for you.”

For the umpteenth time in the five minutes of their call, silence, albeit comfortable, settles over the pair. Longing, he would call it. Content, Jackson would. “Well, then, I’m off to bed. Goodnight, Jinyoung. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.”

“Goodnight, Jackson.” Jinyoung hums, deep in thought. When Jackson hangs up, he finds himself staring sadly at the lock screen of his phone before finally moving to plug it back into its charger on the table. Puzzled, maybe a little at the call and maybe a little at the way he feels, Jinyoung settles back into bed and stares absently at the ceiling. As he said, he has always been on top of every aspect of his life—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and everything in between. This, however, has left him doubting everything he’s tried convincing himself of the past few years.

Thirteen hundred miles away, Jackson’s mind feels clearer than it had half an hour ago. The problem, however, is the tradeoff: his heart feels much heavier than it did before, and for reasons he isn’t ready to figure out.

He’ll deal with that tomorrow.

[the-girl-from-number-4-blog]

My Very First Mistake

Roger Taylor x Reader

On the subject of jealousy

Word Count: 2,774

(i got this idea while trying to find inspiration for honesty. hope you enjoy!)

part two

part three

You can remember the exact moment you realized that you did not love Brian May.  It happened a year and a half after you first told him that you did, indeed, love him. One evening, around three, the two of you were alone in his flat, reading. It was an outstandingly comfortable pastime, and as much as you now know that you didn't love Brian, you know that you always loved reading with him.  That evening's book was Stranger in a Strange Land, and interesting, if lengthy read. You had your copy, and Brian had his; he was much faster than you were, as he was already halfway through, while you had barely passed page 78. You both curled against one another on the couch, lost in the same other world.  The phone rang on the stand beside the sofa. You hardly noticed; part of reading so slowly was how immersed you got in the book, so it rang for a second before Brian answered it. "Hello?" A pause. "Yes, ma'am, she's right here." Another pause, longer. "Of course." 

He held his phone over the receiver and nudged you away from your book. "Y/N," he said softly, "you're mother's on the line." You finished the paragraph you were on and looked up at him. "Pardon?" He grinned at your oblivious expression. "Your mother. Phone." "Ah," you said, standing up and dog-earring your page. "I'll take it in the kitchen." When you got to the kitchen, you picked up the line and held it to your ear. "Hi, mum." Her voice rang in your ears like an out-of-tune violin. "Y/N, dear, it's been too long!" "Didn't you call the other day?" You hopped up on the counter and swung your feet, settling in for a long conversation. Once your mother got to talking, it was quite difficult to stop her.  "Oh, never matter. We just don't chat enough. And I was just settling in to watch my evening program - you know how I like to sit here before bed and watch the television; it helps me sleep. Well, I was just sitting down, I'd taken my pills and everything - I was just settling down when I heard this terrible, terrible noise! And do you know what it was?" You sigh. "No, mum. I was content to read my book; I didn't hear anything." You hoped in vain that she'd pick up on the fact that you were preoccupied.  "It was the Williams' dog next door! Can you believe it? That dog, yapping on all night - I could hardly hear my program. So I thought, I'll just call my Y/N; it'll let me listen to something else, other than that terrible yapping." "You could have turned the volume up." "You sound like you don't want to talk to your mother, dear," she changed her tone slightly. You were quick to recover.  "I just know how important your routine is, mum." "Yes, yes, of course. But anyway, how have you been?" "I've been fine." "I notice you weren't at your flat," she said accusingly. "I rang and I rang, but you wouldn't answer. So I thought to myself, where could she be? And then I remembered how you're always with that lad of yours, Brian. And you gave me the number to his flat last time you came 'round, remember?" Of course you remember; you were regretting it at that very moment. "Well, I'm glad I caught you here." "Yes, I'm at his flat." "Behaving, I hope?" "Yes, mum. We're just reading." "Just reading, just reading. Why are you just reading?" It always baffled you how your mother could, in one moment, be afraid of improper behavior, and in another, scold you for prudence. "You've been with him for, what, years now? Isn't it time you tie the knot?" Your brows naturally creased at the phrase. It wasn't even a conscious thing. When you realized that you were doing it, you were confused; where did the aversion come from? "We don't want to rush, is all," you say. "I don't know if -" you lean to your side a bit, to make sure that Brian's busy reading instead of eavesdropping "- if that's something he wants." This was met my your mother's harsh disapproval. Every relationship, she said, should be held with the intention to marry; if not, it's a waste of time. This was about the time of the conversation that you tuned out what she said, paying only enough attention to know when to give the appropriate "uh-huh".  You let your mind wander; a dangerous thing. You thought of marriage to Brian and a life with him always by your side, until death or hatred do you part. There was no part of that hypothetical future that filled you with hope. You weren't opposed to marriage; you'd dreamt of a magical white wedding since you were five. You must just be filled with such distaste from your mother's yammering in your ear.  The thought of spending the rest of your years at his side gave you a physical unease. You did not, at the time, realize the cause, but that was the moment, retrospect allows you to acknowledge, that you realized you were not in love with him.  The conversation went on for nearly an hour, and when you were through, you had to shake your head to expel the unpleasant thoughts. Putting on a grin, you went back into the living room to find Brian, who'd hardly moved at all, still engrossed in the book.  "Ooh," you said, picking up yours and plopping back down on the couch. "It bodes well that you haven't budged an inch." "It's really quite good," he said distractedly.  You rested your head on his lap again and crack open the pages. 

Roger can remember the exact moment when he realized he loved his best friend's girl.

He approached the door to Brian's flat with his usual aplomb. It was a clear night with unusually quick traffic, so this would just be a quick run by Brian's flat, then he could head back home. He knocked sharply twice and didn't wait for a response before he opened the door.  He wished that he had waited. If he'd have waited, he would probably see Brian standing up, or reaching for the door to answer it. He would have seen Y/N sit, smooth out her hair, and wave.  He wouldn't have seen Brian reclining, holding his book in one hand, and stroking Y/N's hair with the other as she rested her head on his lap. He wouldn't have seen such a perfectly domestic situation as cuddling on the couch, such a perfectly innocent thing as reading. But now that he had, a feeling settled in his stomach; an odd, alien feeling.  "Oh, hey, Rog," Brian said as he closed his book. "What's gotten you here? Freddie finally kick you out?" Roger shook himself from his thoughts to reply. "Uh, no," he said, focusing his eyes on Brian alone. "Fred rang a few minutes ago, but you didn't answer." "Yeah," he nodded, tilting his head to Y/N, who was still reading. "That was probably when her mum called her." Roger looked at her, staring a bit too long at the way she bit her lip. He shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Well," he said, trying to ignore that bizarre feeling. "He just wanted to tell you that he's feeling a bit of a cold coming on, so we won't be recording those parts of 'Stone Cold Crazy' tomorrow like we planned." "What are you, his errand boy? You didn't have to come all the way over here to tell me that," he chuckled. This was about the time when Y/N closed her book and turned to look his way. At that moment, he thought, with her hair fanning around her face, she looked particularly like an angel.  "Roger! Hi,” you said, smiling at him, but not sitting up. He gave you an awkward smile and a wave. It was very unlike him; usually, Roger is never without something witty to say, or a smooth way to say it. He could tell that you noticed. You noticed everything.  “Is something else the matter?” Concern lined your voice. “Nothing,” he said, backing away toward the door. It was hard to look at you; an inexplicable feeling spread its fingers around his heart, constricted his breathing, and pressed against his back with such insistence that he had to physically resist the urge to surge forward to meet you.  There had been times like this before. Not exactly the same - never with such intensity - but similar. A deep, unpleasant feeling had taken root inside him about a year ago, the first time you came down to the studio with Brian. Roger assumed that he simply didn’t like the introduction of a new figure into their dynamic, but you fit so well. It happened a few times later: when you and Brian got a separate cab home from a restaurant, a perfectly reasonable situation; when the two of you sat on Roger and Freddie’s couch one late night, dozing off together; when he would run to you after a show, take you in his arms, and kiss you. None of those times gave him so strong a feeling as this one. He had always been able to push it to the back of his mind and ignore that enigmatic feeling. Now, though, there was no way around it.  He could tell what it was, too. No matter how many times he tried to rationalize with other possibilities, it all came back to that same primal greed, jealousy. It was a word he tried not to think of - and he was largely successful, too. He was good at ignoring his feelings.  “Rog?” Brian asked, “what are you looking at?” In his trance, Roger hadn’t noticed his fixed gaze on Y/N. He turned to Brian, whose eyes held a mild suspicion.  “You’re awfully strange tonight,” he said. “Are you sure you’re not getting sick too?” “Must be,” he said, when he knew very well that he didn’t. “Well, I’ll be off now. See you in the morning, Bri.”

That night, Brian asked, “Will you sleep here tonight? It’s pretty late.” You glanced at the clock; it was rather late. The phone call and visit from Roger had cut into your reading, so the two of you had just disregarded the hour to catch up.  “No, I think I’d better go,” you said. “I’ve got work in the morning.” Brian nodded. “Well, good night, then. Do you need a ride?” You declined that, as well. “I won’t want to bother you. I’ll just get a cab, it’s no big deal.” He seemed a bit reluctant to just let you leave, but he didn’t want to push you, so he just embraced you, kissed your nose, and let you on your way.  Once you were in your own flat, you settled into your bed with your nightclothes and your book. As good as it was, you couldn't get into it. You tried shifting your position a few times, to get comfortable, but you ended up restless, reading the same line over and over again. You only realized this when your watch beeped, signalling the passage of another hour; it was midnight.   

You weren't worried about the lateness of the night; you didn't actually have an early day at work tomorrow. You really just needed time to think by yourself about the peculiar emotion brought on by the prospect of becoming Mrs. Brian May.  

Your mother's phone call had alerted you to certain feelings which had before been hidden under your insistence to resist change. You didn't like change; it was so uncertain, and things were fine the way they were. Even if you didn't love Brian the way you used to (or the way you thought you used to), you didn't want to mess up your relationship; you were still friends, and you had a good thing going on. You loved Brian and his band mates.   

But therein lied the problem: you loved his band mates just about as much as you loved him. Shouldn’t you love your spouse more than anyone You could no more easily imagine growing old with Brian than you could growing old with John, or Freddie, or even Roger.  

Roger had always been a bit odd to you. There was something about him, something not necessarily bad, but different. Your interactions with him had a certain static; you always got the strangest feeling when he'd look at you, and you at him, like the rest of the world disappeared around the two of you.   

You attributed this to his charisma. While people like Freddie could enrapture masses from afar, Roger could ensnare a single person with a glance; it was part of his charm, you supposed, though it made you slightly uncomfortable. You always got that odd feeling around him, like if the slightest thing were to change, your entire world would be thrown out of joint. There was a delicate balance between you and Roger that you were reluctant to tip.   

Something changed with him today. When he looked at you, it wasn't the same as before. There wasn't that strange, inexplicable connection you had grown used to over the years. When he looked at you, he looked past you, as though his gaze was really travelling around the world and back to him, so he could glean some new introspection by looking at himself from behind. He was inside his own head.   

You tried to guess what he could have been thinking at that moment, but knowing Roger, it could be any multitude of things, from the most cerebral of hypotheticals, to the most menial of tasks. Maybe he really was coming down with an cold.  

He wasn't.   After a tumultuous couple of hours tossing and turning in bed (during which Freddie even had to come into his room to tell him to settle down), Roger finally dozed off, but sleep offered him no respite from this battery of emotions.

He couldn’t tell that he was dreaming. It felt real, natural; each sensation was as though it weren’t just a concoction of his unconscious mind. With every single breath he took, his lungs expanded and the smell of your hair flooded in, as tangible as ever.  His eyes were closed, but he felt warmth, and he heard the soft ticking of the clock on the far side of the room. He was tired; so tired, in fact, that opening his eyes was an arduous endeavor, so he was content to curl into the warmth around him and sleep.  The movement of a body that wasn't his own told him that he could not sleep, no matter how tired he was. Blearily, he opened his eyes, and the moment he did so, he was not looking through them; he was looking at them, at himself.  Disembodied, Roger noticed that he was in Brian's place - not just in his flat, but on his couch, reading his book, and with his girl in Roger's arms. It was you who had moved and disturbed his rest.  You were resting against one another, your head in the crook of Roger's neck, and his atop yours. One arm was wrapped around your shoulders, with his fingers playing with the ends of your hair, while the other rested on your waist. He looked down at you, into your wide, loving eyes. The way he could see each different fleck of color, each fanning lash, told him that this couldn't possibly be a dream.  "I love you," you told him in a sweet, soft voice that he had never actually heard before, but which he could imagine so completely.  Roger leaned forward and met your lips with his own.  Though he was watching himself, he could feel the touch of your lips on his. He felt your chest heave as you pressed against him, wrapping your arms about his neck in an intimate embrace. He felt your breath against his cheeks when you pulled away, and he heard your sighs. "I love you," you repeated.  "I -"

Roger sat bolt upright in bed. His heart beat a deafening presto against his chest, echoing through his ears, as his mind replayed the scene of his nighttime fantasy before his eyes.  It was then, sitting in the silence of his room at the darkest time of morning, that he realized he loved you. 

[fmdxjerome]

*naomi pokes her head in after disappearing for the 600th time* bonjour 

family things where the reason i was so m.i.a. this past week. but i’m here now and i’m going to follow and unfollow people. update some things (like points, plots and tag lists) and head into ims. the good things. sorry i keep disappearing, it’s a weird time. i hope you all are doing good though. people who i have not talked to yet, i’m sorry i still haven’t introduced myself to you all. i’ll gradually work on this. people who i plotted with before, you know i’m gradually trying to get back to that too. i’m very out of the loop with everything.

though! working on some things. writing, photoshop, things, yeah.

but that aside i kinda wanted to take the space of this ooc post to elaborate on the headcanon i wrote yesterday? because? wow. uh. what the hell was that. i wont talk about the topics of the story itself so dont worry if they are triggering to you, i wont be mentioning anything in here.

i just. i started writing the headcanon because my inspiration for anything else was nil. i had things done for my starter (things that had to go out before it for the starter to make sense) and i was preparing to write but nothing came out. and i saw the days ticking by then so i thought “a headcanon will give me something to put out as i dont want to loose jerome but also don’t want to go on hiatus again”. i thought it’ll be like 1000 words and just explain seulgi and chanyeol a bit but it turned into that. i kinda got sucked into it. like, very badly. i wrote it in two days and two nights with little sleep and a lot of tears and it fucked me up but not in a bad way persay (not in a good way either but). after my hiatus i’ve been all kinds of weird with jerome? i haven’t known how to put him out there and advertise him as a cool dude to new and old people in here and i blame my mood for that? because when i was all meme kid 2000 it was easier to thrust him into people’s dm’s, but then after the hiatus i’ve been so goddamned serious about everything that even the funny posts i try to make dont make it to the blog because i think about them too much? (honestly. i have a backlog of memes guys.). then i write that, start writing that with the beginning and end in mind and it’s so goddamned dark but it gets my emotions out and makes me feel more intrigued to flesh out jerome. it relieves me a bit. 

because the thing about jerome is that family is one of the most important things for him. and exploring chanyeol, who had everything jerome had wanted when he grew up (to be raised by a mother who looked like him and loved him), made me find jerome again. it’s the comparing of lives that do it, how two brothers that came from the same prompt live such different lives because of the polarizing answers their mothers gave to one of the hardest question in life. but then again they have so much the same; the drinking, the faces, the laughs, the ridicule, and so much more. they’re more like twins than they are brothers, just years apart and not quite the same.

(there is a reason why *if you read the story* i pinned their situations against each other often, give the perspective of jerome’s life whilst giving context to chanyeols)

and i dont know if jerome will ever know about chanyeol, meet seulgi, find a connection with his mother, feel a bond with his sibling (who’s connection form is almost done, i’m hoping for a sister) or find the bad of himself in his father but it’s the start of exploring this part of jerome’s life, his bloodlines, that get me so much more into jerome’s story. because it is such an important piece in his life.

and look, you might think “but thats marie!” if you look over his blog or read his bio (please dont. its ugly.), that she’s the most influential thing in jerome’s character as she’s the one who basically created “yuddy”. and yeah, she’s important. he still gets anxious when she teeters with the information only they know and still gets furious when he sees her face. but it’s family that starts it all. 

he wouldn’t be as searching for warmth if it wasn’t for the fact that he views himself to be abandoned when just a baby, which his mother did with all the heart break in her heart. he wouldn’t be as proving and intense if it wasn’t for the fact that he feels like he has just one moment to cement himself in someone’s memory as something to desire (whether its about music, lust, love, etc.). he wouldn’t be as afraid of loosing important people in his life if he hadn’t lost the most important one of all.

also, he wouldn’t be as natural with the flirting and the charming smirks if it wasn’t for the fact that his father had that natural allure to him, too. had that bad treatment, too. had that booming confidence, too. and had that selfishness, too. (i villainize chanwook a lot. but he was just a guy who didn’t like commitments, he wants the fun and nothing else. hmm doesn’t that sound familiar.)

yuddy was a reaction to marie, but made possible because of chanwook. hey, thats pretty deep.

anyway, what also was interesting with exploring chanyeol was the fact that jerome’s biggest wish was to be able to look at someone and recognize himself in it. with his adoption family he obviously couldnt do that. and to add another layer in his hometown there were no korean faces, no ethnicity he could belong to. (i dont know how it is in legit laval and martigné-sur-mayenne as i am just a dumb kid who only has the internet to find things out BUT as i live in a western european town *obliviously naomi you’re dutch* thats pretty big and those towns arents the biggest i can use my own experiences and grab the data/information i can find on the internet to create young!jerome’s school and daily life environment.) but he could live with that if he just had a mother or/and a father he could look up to and see himself. there have been days where he’s been bullied for the shape of his eyes or the colour of his skin, there have been days where he’s been fetishized for them too, and if he was allowed to look up at his mother he could see the same pairs of eyes stare back at him. and if he’d look at his father he’d see the same coloured skin. he’d feel more at ease. but he sees blonde hair and peachy skin instead, sees hazel eyes and different noses. add a DEEPER layer and he can’t seem to find where he gets his ugly wide laugh from, or his aggression when provoked. the gentle touch to the things he loves. the intensity of passion. the greed of selfishness. he doesn’t know where the traits come from, who gives him those traits, or if they are purely his own. and he truly wished he did.

and with that as he stands on stage now he is unaware that he makes two women cry every night. blissfully unaware that he has two mothers look at him and see the man that left them but see their missed sons too. he knows nothing of that, and so he knows nothing of the impact he’s making with simply existing. (boram looking at jerome is still very ambiguous in my mind though as her kid can appear in roleplay but seulgi’s view is pretty cemented)

okay shit this kind of turned into some weird exploration of jerome? i started writing this like 6 hours ago what the hell. i’m so slow. maybe this is helping me too with making that re-introduction thing i still have to make. great. well what you can take from this is that jerome has a definite baseline when it comes to his personality and i explored that in chanyeols story where he was the one who got it yet felt undeserving of it?

it’s affection. his baseline is affection. his baseline is warmth. for him as a person, a real person, his person. and not for anything else. and it’s nice to look at the people that gave that to him, the people that didn’t and the reasons behind it.

his biological mother couldn’t give it to him because she gave him away before she could. (the only exception being the first moment in the hospital room 26 years ago.)

his biological father couldn’t give it to him seeing as he didn’t even care to know him.

his adoptive parents couldn’t give it to him as they only saw him as a prop next to jade vases and ricepaper fans.

his first love marie couldn’t give it to him even when he thought she could, but then in time he realized she never loved him for him. realized she never loved him at all.

his grandfather has given it to him, as he sang with him to old tunes and learned him how to cook. his grandmother did too before she fell away.

frederic and halit gave it to him, freddy when he cemented himself as his first closest friend and halit when he pulled him along and shared his family with him. they both gave him a home, and they both gave him the concept of best friends.

julien too gifts it to him now, as he has poked through the shields that is yuddy and has never stopped grasping at the heart that is jerome.

its interesting. it’s all interesting and i’m kind of content that i threw this headcanon out there? or wrote it. (even if not many people will probably read it because of the content matter or because its dumb long or other reasons) because its really a start for me to explore jerome other sides more, the other important things. with the marie story half way finished and her changing in severity in his life, it’ll be interesting to further explore the facet that hurt jerome the most. bloodlines.

ok i got to stop because literally no one is having time for my wall of mess i mean wall of text and its getting way too late/early whilst i wanted to reply to some dms so im just going to grab my phone and start typing there. until i fall asleep. which honestly can be in a few minutes as today was stressful (my cat couldnt poop and i cried lol i’m actually a mess.) 

ALSO if you read the story, the program seulgi watched when she saw jerome for the first time was You Hee-yeol's Sketchbook when DEAN was on. and the songs she heard where HALF MOON (D) and ORDINARY PEOPLE. (which are probably one of my favourite performances of dean.) easter egg. or something like that i dont know-

ok naomi out

*uses a gif of my sweet winter child as i haven’t used one in ages*

[joneswilliam72]

Meet actor Charlie Cox, Matt Murdock/Daredevil in Netflix's Daredevil and Basil in the new based on a true story heist film King of Thieves.

I caught up with actor Charlie Cox – Matt Murdock, Daredevil himself in Netflix's adaptation – for a chat on acting, film, Daredevil, influences and what it was like to work with heavyweights like Michael Caine, Michael Gambon and Tom Courtenay in his latest, King of Thieves, based on a very real (and very historic) British heist. Catch King of Thieves out now On Demand and Digital HD.

Cox plays Basil, the younger outsider to a crew of retired British thieves (also including Ray Winstone and Jim Broadbent). Basil brings them in to the biggest heist they've ever faced, and the film chronicles what ensues and how – as in many heist movies – greed takes over with disastrous consequences.

The real robbery the film is based upon is interesting in and of itself being considered "the largest burglary in English legal history". In 2015, an elderly gang of thieves staged a robbery of safe deposit boxes in London's Hatton Garden jewelry district. Their loot had been able to get back totaled around 13.69 million pounds, yet they ultimately settled for a paltry 3.6 million pounds for their score. At least, that is what was returned to victims via the British courts after the gang was caught.

King of Thieves, in fact, delayed the trial for the alleged real Basil, Michael Seed. In September 2018, Seed's barrister asked for more time to prepare his client's defense because, "The court has little or no power to deal with it [the film], and little locus to obtain an injunction." The judge agreed. As of this writing, Seed's trial is still on-going having started 5 February 2019.

Those sentenced for the robbery John "Kenny" Collins, Daniel Jones, Terry Perkins (top row, left to right) and Carl Wood, William Lincoln and Hugh Doyle (bottom row, left to right)source:bbc.com

Catch King of Thieves now and enjoy our interview with Charlie Cox below.

Hello Charlie.

Hey Wess, how's it going?

Oh just great, how are you?

Very good, thank you.

Fantastic. Getting right into it, what was it that initially attracted you to the Basil role? I found the twist on his name at the end of movie really clever, too.

What's interesting is, we didn't know that when we were filming. That was something that came to light after we shot the movie.

Oh really?

When we were filming the movie, the information that we had was that Basil was potentially called "Basil" because he was slightly posher than the rest of the guys. His accent is slightly more posh and there's a very famous cartoon character in the UK, well puppet actually, called Basil Brush. He's a posh fox on television in the UK, and so the thinking was they called him Basil because he was like Basil Brush, because he spoke like him. That part's in the movie, but it wasn't until after the movie that someone read, or someone discovered, that possibly he was called Basil because of that play on the word.

Interesting.

In terms of what attracted me to the role was this is one of those ones where I kind of am amazed that I got the job, you know what I mean? Working with that group of actors obviously is a dream come true for anyone, but particularly for a young, British actor. Those guys all were my heroes growing up. To work with any one of them on one job would be amazing, so working with all of them on the same job, it's kind of like as good as it gets.

Absolutely, and honestly Charlie I think if you stay on the trajectory that you're at, you'll be at their level someday.

Oh, wow man, that's so cool! Thank you! That's funny to think about. That's funny to hear someone say that because of course it's impossible to imagine that you'd ever reach those kind of hopes of 'icon-ness' or whatever you call it. The fact that you're saying that is very encouraging.

Oh and I mean it too. I definitely think you'll get there. Now what did the process look like for getting into that head space of the thief, of Basil?

It was such a fun challenge because when I got the job, I got it very late on in the process. In fact, I literally got a phone call on a Friday and I was rehearing on Monday, so it was a very last minute decision I think. They were struggling with that character and I think a couple of people had maybe fallen through, or I don't know exactly what went on. It was a very pleasant surprise, but it did leave me very little time to kind of really investigate the character.

The challenge that I felt I was faced with, of course Basil is the one character that got away, the one no one really knows anything about. So we had to invent a lot about him, whereas the other characters, they're a known entity.

The thing that was confusing to me... We knew that Basil was younger, we knew that he was the guy that did the computers and shut down the alarm system, we kind of knew bits and bobs. What we didn't know was why, if he was younger, and he was the one with the key that got them in the building in the first place, that kind of was the catalyst, he got Michael Caine's character interested. What I couldn't figure out was why didn't he have any friends of his own age that were more physically capable of doing the hard work. What was it about him that felt like he needed to go to a bunch of geriatrics to pull off one of the biggest heists in history?

Really what I thought was an important element for that character was someone who was very socially awkward and maybe doesn't have mates of his own age. Maybe there's something kind of untrustworthy about him, something that doesn't seem quite right. At the beginning of the film Brian Reader [Michael Caine] had just lost his wife and he felt lonely, and Basil by his nature is quite lonely, so they kind of take each other hostage for a period of time. That was the way I ended up explaining it.

It almost makes me wonder, too, with that if he didn't know at some level that they were going to get caught and he was comfortable with the geriatrics taking the fall or what have you. But just hypothesizing.

(L-R) Charlie Cox as Basil and Michael Caine as Brian Reader in the thriller “KING OF THIEVES” a Saban Films release. Photo courtesy of Saban Films.

Any funny or memorable moments from the process of filming that stick out in your mind?

So many... It's not one particular memory, but normally on a film set in between scenes, sometimes it can be quite a long time between camera set ups. Normally people kind of go back to their trailer and they relax or they do whatever they want to do. But because the majority of the cast were slightly older, they didn't always want to go back to their trailers, it was too far sometimes, so we would all sit together in chairs, just around the corner from the set. And what was nice about that is you end up doing a lot of socializing, a lot of chatting, a lot of stories being told. So I got to hear some amazing anecdotes from all these legends and their illustrious careers and the lives they've had. That was just a memory that I'll never, ever forget.

Very cool. That'd be something in itself.

(L-R) Tom Courtenay as John Kenny Collins and Michael Caine as Brian Reader in the thriller “KING OF THIEVES” a Saban Films release. Photo courtesy of Saban Films.

We kind of touched on this, but what were the challenges like and was there anything else that you wanted to add in there with that?

Filming with those guys in London, particularly Michael, can be challenging because of how well known he is and the fans and people who recognize him in the street. We shot lots of scenes in the streets that were almost impossible to completely block off. And then when people walked past Michael Caine they had a look of amazement on their face and you can't put that in the movie. He has to be someone just walking down the street, so that's a challenge.

Wow yeah. I bet.

Other than that, I just thought the whole thing was just so tremendous. To this day I can't believe that I had that experience. I think it will always be one of the great, great highlights of my life.

Absolutely. Being based on a true story, too, it's just tremendous.

I would be remiss if I didn't ask about Daredevil when I had you here, too. It sucks that it's over. That was really an exceptional show and it was very gritty. I loved that.

Thank you.

I heard you didn't know the character was blind until the day before the audition. That leads me to ask, what was it like getting into that Matt Murdock, Daredevil head space and developing the character over three seasons like you did?

Again it was a really wonderful, challenging experience. I'm lucky with that particular job that I had a couple of months notice, so I could really come about... That job was hard because there were so many elements for my character that I had to kind of learn about and discover and investigate. For example, obviously the fact that he's visually impaired. What does that mean? What does that look like? How do you act that? What do your eyes do? I spend a lot of time working with a blind coach-

Fascinating.

Then the things that are related to the blindness apart from the eyes themselves. How do you use a cane? How do you find things on the table if you're looking for something? How do you read Braille? How do you use a computer? How do you use an iPhone? How do you do all those things? You have to learn all of that stuff.

Plus it was the first time I'd done an American accent, so I was working very hard to get the accent right.

Oh, you did.

[Laughs] Thank you. Then don't forget there was all the martial art stuff and a lot of weight to gain because I was much, much lighter when I got the job, I think I was about 162 pounds. By the time we started shooting I was 180 pounds. I put on a lot of muscle very, very quickly and that takes up a lot of time.

Whenever I got a second I was reading comic books, reading as many Daredevil comic books that I could get my hands on. In that job particularly it felt like there was a lot of work to do. But I loved it, I love all that. That's actually, in some way, the best part of the job is studying to kind of learn and delve in to the whole area of culture that you've never experienced before.

Oh absolutely.

Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock, DAREDEVIL's alter ego.

Switching gears just a little bit, a question I ask everybody, what films and performances have been most influential on you as an artist and an actor? Big question I know.

Yeah, it's a big question. Obviously Brando is a go-to, Hopkins – would be the actors that I've obviously grown up with and admire. His work is so influential. Gene Hackman is one of my favorites. There's some younger guys, I think Ryan Gosling is exceptional. I think that one of my favorite actors is Oscar Isaac, I think he's amazing.

He was great in Annihilation.

In terms of specific performances, Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I think is one of my all-time favorites. I love the Coen Brothers and I think that everyone in almost all of the Coen Brothers’ movies, all of the performances are impeccable. I love the tone of a lot of those movies.

Me too.

Clooney in Michael Clayton and Tom... Williams... am I thinking of the right... in the same film, in Michael Clayton. Is it Tom Williams?

I'm trying to remember the name there... it's something like that...

I'm blanking on the name... it's something like that. What else... that might be it. That might be all I've got on me.

Well, like I said, it's a big question, too-

Tom Wilkinson! Tom Wilkinson!

Yeah, Wilkinson! I should've known that…

Tom Wilkinson is the guy in Michael Clayton.

Oh absolutely. I couldn't think of that either until you said it and it's like, yeah, I knew that.

(L-R) Jim Broadbent as Terry Perkins, Ray Winstone as Danny Jones and Charlie Cox as Basil in the thriller “KING OF THIEVES” a Saban Films release. Photo courtesy of Saban Films.

One other question I like to ask everybody, what makes a great film?

I think the honest answer to that is there is no formula. I think that if there was a formula, then you wouldn't get movies that were supposed to be fantastic that aren't. And you wouldn't get movies that were made for almost no money with an unknown director and an unknown cast, that are sensational. There's no way of knowing what is... There's so many elements that need to come together when you make a film, or a TV show for that matter.

There are so many things that have to be exactly right for that movie, including the acting, including the script, including the sound design, including the set, including the editing. There's so many elements and even sometimes if just one of those things isn't quite right, a movie doesn't quite work. When they all do come together, you get a great movie. Not a good movie, a great movie. That's a very special thing. Like I said, I think that if there was a formula then you could just churn out hit, after hit, after hit, and of course we know that that doesn't happen.

I couldn't agree more. I've had more than a few answer with, it's a form of "alchemy" when I ask that question.

Our last question, what's next for you Charlie?

I'm going to be doing a play in London. A stage play in the West End in London, of a Harold Pinter play called “Betrayal”, so that runs from the beginning of March to the beginning of June of this year, so that's what I'm gearing up for right now.

KING OF THIEVES trailer.

Netflix's DAREDEVIL trailer.

The award-winning opening sequence to DAREDEVIL. This was designed by the same people who did the opening to TRUE DETECTIVE: SEASON 1.

from The 405 http://bit.ly/2DuICx5

[bloodandbutterflies03-blog]

Tired and Fed up

I'm the third child of 5 raised with both good parents. My problem is my sister. Ever since I was a kid my sister and I never really gotten along. Well she thinks different. She always embarrassed me and would pull my card in a heart beat. She have always downed me. Its sad to say that I don't look up to her at all more so I look away from her. I don't like being around her or even talking to her. She will get mad at me over the most smallest things and won't speak to me for months on in. I've been trying to hold peace but my peace seal isn't holding on anymore. I'm to the point where I'm beginning to hate her!! She would put other's before family. Believe me!!! She hate to even ride my children in her car period. My 2 kids are well behaved and very well mannered. I remember when I was really sick and needed a ride to the ER. I asked her could she take me and she said no! She couldn't do it because she just got out of bed. My sister is a liar, manipulator,pill popper, weedhead and money hungry!!! Sometimes I wish that I had another older sister who I could love😔😔. If I could document paperwork for her to sign off on to disconnect all ties I would do it and have a legit notarized letter. I really deep down inside feel numb about her. She wasn't there for our dying mother at all. She was always running around the earth after her s.o.(significant other) My mother saw only better for us all. I miss my mom allot and I know if she was to have lived she would of grilled, baked, and fried her a@&!! And the many people really don't like her like that at all even family members. She never gives she always take take and keep taking. I really want to tell her how I truly honestly feel. But if I do it will break her down. All the way down. I don't live my sister anymore at all. She should have just been a distant cousin. I would of felt much better about that. We stay not to far from each other and she doesn't really visit me like that. I don't want to have anything to do with her at all. She's a bragged and bitch😡😡 If it wasn't for her s.o. she wouldn't have nothing. She didn't even give my kids nothing on 🎂 or holidays. I can't stand that bitch!!!! They say blood thicker than water. But in my case I need water to live. I seen her do soooooo many people wrong and spoke on it to her but she doesn't listen to me at all. I would rather walk on by her like a stranger and not look her way or say hello. I have been going through this for about 20 years!! If I rip at her I'm going in and not apologizing at all. She only ate Thanksgiving at my home once. And she didn't want to be there. You should of seen the look on her face😡😡😡😂😂. I moved into a new house 2 years ago and she only been here....I can count on my hands put it like that!! I'm done with her period. She selfish and think only of herself. My kids lost sooo much trust with her its crazy. She was supposed to pick them up one day and they stood by that window for 3 hours. And she never showed up or called. I didn't call her because I knew she pulled that sh#t again. I wash my hands and heart of her I am no longer involving myself with her. She is nothing to me and I really feel sad for her. She knows without me in her corner she has nothing!!! But she is not going to be a part of my life anymore. I mean every damn word of it!! She even tried to fight me with another girl!!!! Wow. She is tired and lame and she lack it all. Morals, respect, dignity, womanhood, and love. I'm signing off with tears in my eyes because my soul and heart is broken with her. I don't want to rebuild or mend anything with her when sh@t hot the fan!!! My mother raised us all with the good in us. I don't know what happen to my sis when my mother was embedded in us the realness. But I hope she wakes up and realize this 🌎 isn't just for her its all of us in this 🌎. I only wish her the best in whatever ventures she do in life and so on!!! I want the best for all my fam. But she hates when others do good or the good that's being done for them. I just don't get it. I really breaking and I can't hold it much longer😔😔😔😒😒 I hope she learns from her greed that money is the root to all evil. And having a black ❤ causes people to not want to deal with you.selfish,coldhearted,overtalker,Mercer listens,backstabber and all. I remember one day last year she thought she hung up her phone. And when I mean to tell you her and her s.o. was talking about me it broke me into a million pieces!! Sooo I said that's how she really feels about me. I was so furious and everything around me was red😡😡😡😡. But in due time I say in due time. My relationship with her is done. My life goes on regardless. I got 2 beautiful kids who love and cherish their mommy!!!! And I'm here for them and been here I'm not going no where because I love them. My life is good without me talking to her. Actually its fucking awesome when I don't deal with her!!! And when I do deal with her its rain clouds and storms. This to shall pass. I can only pray for her and her well being. But she is not her sister's keeper😔😔😔😢😢😢😥😥😪😪😪