#her main job is determining where people go when they die

[constellationandcompendium]

Writeblr Intro

Greetings traveller!

About Me:

She/her, early 30s

PhD graduate working in heritage

British (obsessed with tea)

Also sings and crochets

Enjoys both Star Trek & Star Wars

Occasional NaNoWriMo participant

Fanfic writer of 15 years making the jump into original fiction (find my fandom blog @thetamehistorian)

Happy to take asks / play tag games etc.

Has a habit of designing covers rather than writing

Second attempt at this blog (main blog this time, cha cha real smooth)

Tends To Write / Read

Sci-Fi & Cyberpunk

Urban Fantasy & Fantasy

Historical

Comedy (this suprised me too)

Introducing My WIPS

A crime thriller with a touch of cyberpunk...

Featuring

Man with habit of doing wrong thing for right reason

Best buds to reluctant allies to ‘I would die for you’

That ‘I can’t believe you’ve done this’ meme

Conspiracies and double agents

Lots of angst and hurt (with some comfort)

Wholesome parent / child relationships

Summary

Solaris City has a problem. Whilst the metropolis flourishes, down below in the old mines the Undercity grows wild and dangerous, it’s people cut off from the prosperity above, dreaming of the sun and spreading Haze - an addictive drug.

Elias also has a problem. Working for the Bureau has cleaned his slate but he hasn’t cut all ties with those underground. Now there’s a girl hidden in his flat and something big has been uncovered that has his contacts in a flurry.

With two days to go to a vote on unifying the two halves of the city, and his friend Sebastien caught right in the middle, Elias has a feeling that it'll only take one domino falling for everything to come crashing down.

Work Page

First Draft Complete, If Messy (Mind the Plot Holes)

A sci-fi comedy of a ship of misfits...

Featuring

Puns for ship names (and just bad jokes in general)

Captain packing up the ship and all its crew because they can no longer thrive in this household

Overly social parents (please stop inviting my professor over to dinner)

Space worker unions (and aliens)

Learning self-worth and finding strength through working together

Found family

Summary

The United Earth Ship Archimedes patrols the border of charted space. Beyond it - the vast and unexplored reaches of the universe.

It’s an exciting prospect for Aster Kobor, newly graduated from the fleet academy and hoping to make her mark upon the stars. Unfortunately, it only takes a few weeks for Aster to realise that the Archimedes is nicknamed ‘the screw’ for a reason. It’s a ship for the rejects and misfits, those deemed unfit to serve in the frontier ships and command never lets them do anything exciting. Still, Aster is determined to make the best of it and, unbeknownst to her, her meddling Captain is about to give the crew of the Archimedes their chance to show command what they're made of.

Soon a bad reputation is the least of their troubles and, whether the crew like it or not, they’ll have to learn to survive in deep space - where their only certainty is each other.

Work Page

Currently Wrangling Vibes Into ~ Characters ~ and ~ Plot ~

A historical novel about determined women, trains, and winning a war…

Featuring

One woman’s obsession with the railways

Code breaking commuters

Breakfasts cooked on a coal shovel

Being accidentally adopted by an elderly fireman and driver duo

Occasional air raid for added ~spice~

Solidarity in the face of adversity and outdated systems

Summary

Bea had always been fascinated by the railways, but her dream of driving one of the locomotives always seemed out of reach. Working the trains is dangerous, dirty, and completely off limits to the fairer sex.

Then the war came and the men went off the fight. Answering the call to help, Bea and her fellow railway volunteers find themselves with an opportunity of a lifetime. Obscured from judging eyes by steam and smoke they shadow the veteran drivers and engineers, learning what they can on the job and hitting the library when they can't.

The trains need to run, they are vital to the war effort. All it would take is one rogue bomb, one mishap to take out a driver and the wheels stop spinning.

Or at least, that's what the station manager thinks.

Work Page

Currently Doing Research and Initial Planning!

[thepumpkincorsair]

So, I watched the first episode of “Those About To Die” on Peacock.

I enjoyed it, and Im willing to do write ups if folks would be interested…

Since I wana talk about details, and I dont wana spread spoilers, everything is below the readmore.

What I liked: 🔵 And what I disliked: 🟠

Total Ranking: 8/10 - very good, worth the watch 👍

🟠 It dove into the Intrigue right away, which made it hard to watch while doing other things, but I can appreciate a show that grabs you by the shoulders and shoves you down into the couch to pay attention.

🔵 It wasn’t boring, quite the contrary, I felt fully engaged throughout the episode. Theres a lot of small moving parts to the story, and it orchestrates together incredibly well so far, even for Episode One. The writing is very well done, which is a lynchpin for me on a show like this. You cant pretend to be an intrigue type series without a proper plot. And, in my opinion, they’ve set their plots well right away. Tenax getting those shares in Blue was a great con, which had clearly been going a while, but we only saw the tail end of it. I see this little setup as a great look at how the writers DO their work. Connections matter, money does more than talk, and if you play the game wrong, you die. Don’t trust anyone.

🔵 I REALLY enjoyed the historical aspects of the first episode. Like, yes, this plot happened, its a historical fiction and a number of these characters exist in history, but its not just that. Its the small details, the different knives in different cultures, the veterinary care of race horses, the deities from more than just the main roman pantheon, the drinkware, the VARIOUS clothes from various cultures and climates…. And yes, women often went topless when they were a sxwrkr. Gotta advert.

🔵 ON THAT SUBJECT: can we talk about “3 sesterce… and Im tighter than both of them.” MY BOY, YOU ARE RIZZIN TOO HARD AND I LOST IT. Please, please let him be in future episodes. Omfg….

🟠 I am forced to concede the accuracy isnt PERFECT, the horses wore modern driving bridles to go with their ancient styled chariots. However, Im realistic about how many horses are trained today to pull anything without blinders, and how much safer modern bridles are. I’ll also note: I absolutely saw the animal handler grab the horse differently (calmly) before the riot surrounded it, then direct the horse to dance in the crowd. Great training with the horse! Bad camera angle. Lol

🔵 I also really like this cast so far. Everyone fills their roles incredibly well.

Hopkins doesnt even need an introduction, the mans a legend and brings all his experience to the stage with him every time. -chefs kiss-

Rheon was great in GOT, he plays calculatingly unhinged exceptionally well. But I wont lie, seeing him in a more commanding, level headedly calculating person?

Hashim….. HASHIM!!! Im SO excited to see where his character goes. We haven’t seen much of him in Ep 1 just yet, but he’s clearly going to be one of the main players. Im not familiar with him as an actor, but I’ve enjoyed his performance so far, and I REALLY appreciate the story being told.

Martins is also incredible. She does a fantastic job of knowing the danger her characters children are facing, but also knowing she HAS to play her cards right to save them. She personifies the strength and determination of a mother perfectly.

🔵 Quite honestly, I have to give points to that whole plot-line in general. That point of view is something we’ve had hidden from us (in America) for so long, that I think a LOT of people have… become calloused. I hope seeing it will potentially help others come to an empathetic understanding. This isn’t glossing over what happened, or whats likely to happen to any of the three children.

🔵 I also want to gush over actually SHOWING the wider Roman Empire, we get to see the direct effect of their influence in both Africa and Spain so far. Egypt was their bread basket, and without that grain, youve got problems. The Berber Coast has animals, and people they want, and we see money exchanging hands for the purpose of those ends. We see how the locals were told they’d be treated fairly, paid properly, and even eventually become citizens, like the Spaniards, only to have those promises thrown aside as soon as the Romans have better money to make. These people gave the Empire everything it wanted, but the Empire is never satisfied.

We also get to appreciate how far west the empire went when the Spaniards are trying to sell their horses. (Plot-bunny: Andies are dancing horses, exceptionally athletic, and a prime choice for chariots, though, a standardbred is the usual choice for modern cart racers)

🟠 I will say the CGI isnt the best. You can tell exactly when they change from live action to CGI. But this is a minor issue for me tbh. Its passable CGI, and they use it to avoid putting animals or people in danger which, obviously, I appreciate. A chariot wreck was shown, annnnnd it was pretty darn accurate to how messy those would have been. Not good times y’all. Not good times. Also, the ramifications of a major concussion. Oof. At least the guy would have barely knew what was happening? Still.

🔵 The sound effects were enough without being over the top. Often times when theres gore to show, theres all these extra squelching noises and gratuitous blood… not this time. It’s actually… pretty durn accurate. Don’t ask how I know. I don’t wana tell you, and you dont wana know.

Overall, it was a really solid first episode, and I plan on watching the rest.

[buff-borf-bork]

Cureswap! Basics and Characters.

I've included Quartz and Flo in both my other ut multiverse works, i should at least provide context!

Theres still a lot of kinks to work out, this is very much a wip, but ots what ive got in the broad strokes.

Starting motto:

In this world, it’s do or die. (either you take the resources for yourself, and someone else dies, or you don’t, and you die.) There's a number of kinks to work out and is still a wip, but this is where it's at.

 

Basics.

Unknown disease, latter called the withering, ravages the Underground. Came from the surface as a product of Asriel getting infected with a normal human illness while having Frisks human soul with them, causing a new illness to mutate and be created within the monster boss body that spread once they dusted and monsters came to pay their respects to the two deceased royals.

There is no publicly know way to cure it, only how to prolong it.

The treatment to prolong the witherings effects is made from the determination of dead humans souls. One soul can be siphoned off into many parts and used. When a new soul is released from the castle, everyone assumes the human was killed on sight.

Treatments are sparse, and therefore expensive. Toriel didn’t know how else to deal with it, how do you pick and choose who gets to live when you have so little to give and so many who need it? Allowed the people who make and sell treatments at their own discretion.

Causes a lot of depression that results in falling down. A guards main job is now about keeping order and keeping falling down rates low.

Focus is less on reaching the surface, then it is on how to heighten the quality of life in the underground.

Less belief that reaching the surface will solve their problems, believing even brief contact with the surface is what caused this, not understanding Asriel’s and Chara’s situation was the key factor.

Common fear that if they reach the surface, there would be more sickness waiting for them.

Undyne has the true cure to the withering. She has to take the humans before they die, even poisoning them to make them appear closer to death then they are or are sick. for the cure, she must sap determination away from their soul while keeping the human alive. The human determination essence then needs to be mixed with an already fallen monsters dust. It is deeply unethical on all sides.

The barrier is taken down by the humans. The current six humans are a mix of adults teens. They have been learning and practicing magic, digging up relics of time, a time of wizards and mages from before monsters and humans went to war. Parsing these, they learn and with the arrival of Chara, have the numbers they need. With study and practice, Chara becomes a strong enough mage to be the missing link they needed.

The humans disperse along the barrier that stretches out, the palace much larger in this AU, and as Chara takes position, is faced with Toriel. She’s terrified of more disease wiping out the monsters, or spreading the withering to the surface and so they fight.

Flowey/Asriel fight goes roughly the same, pleading Chara to stay and mistaking them/wanting them as a replacement for their beloved sibling Frisk.

When they reach the surface, Chara convinces Undyne to release the cure she’s already stock piled but never released out of fear, even if she gets fired and becomes public enemy number one for a time.

Toriel does arrest her temporarily.

Mt. Ebott is surrounded by a sprawling city, and so humans fall often by the type of people who go fooling around where people go missing.

 

Characters:

Sans/Quartz #f1acaf: Once their father was erased, spent his time trying to continue affording the treatment for papyrus. Hygiene and health focused, very concerned over paps and spoiled him rotten.

Focused on trying to better the general quality of life for all residence in Snowdin once he moved there and is why he was made guard. Practically town councillor and helps prevent monsters from dusting from loss of hope and prevent major crimes against the queen or otherwise made out of desperation.

Guard uniform: Puff sleeves paired with a formal vest, bottoms are pants with long flat half skirt overlay. Uniform is main colour of the queen along with personal choice of accents. Bandanna is worn under collar, gives off look of puff tie.

Refuses to wear metal armour and insists on soft colours to not cause anxiety.

Casual: Cable knit sweater and corduroy or formal pants. Pairs his main light pink with warmer and bolder colours and beading.

All pieces in both outfits have embroidery and beading done by himself.

Paps/Flo #4c0121: Was sick and bed ridden from a young age with the withering (disease). Read and studied (science and joke books) to pass the time, was often home alone and greatly cared for by his brother.

Eats jam because it was the only thing he could stomach with how light it is and is sweet. These same traits are why jam was the only thin Sans could get him to eat as toddler.

Had an adrenaline phase after he was cured, still flares up sometimes.

Gets very lethargic when kept indoors, more energetic when taken outside.

Absolutely useless as an independent adult, as he was spoiled (and still is) rotten by his brother.

Wears baggy clothes (shorts or wide leg pants + scoop neck sweaters or crewneck that he stretched out the collar of), darker clothes cause they’re harder to stain. Long purple cardigan robe with hood on top which has invisible glow in the dark stars sewn on by sans.

Bones are a permanent slight pink tint from being sick and longer term determination consumption. A bit shorter than most papri.

Alphys : Knows Toriel’s been letting humans live, doesn’t have the time to care. Is more focused on keeping the peace.

Has anxiety about it.

Above Sans in station, mostly works to prevent major crimes. Has a hard time connecting emotionally with people, leaves that to Sans.

Undyne: Created a cure, but to release it would have to disclose extremely unethical methods. Building guilt over what she’s done and holding back the cure from everyone as more die, but paralyzed by fear of what would happen to her if anyone found out. The longer it takes the worse it gets.

Secretly cures Papyrus.

Toriel/Teal: Secretly allows humans to live out their full natural lives instead of killing them instantly, Alphys knows. Feels awful having to choose between their lives and her people’s lives.

Is unaware of a cure.

Asgore/Agate: Literally just chilling, plants are all herbal remedies and air cleansers, ectara.

Has stopped the withering spreading to the ruins and the city within, which is why he never leaves the ruins or allows anyone back.

Not happy about Toriel doing nothing about the price tag on the treatment.

Muffet: Her baked goods help sooth, but do not heal the withering.

Grillby: Sells snake oil. Is secretly doing so to raise funds to keep his own daughter alive.

Has to be a secret, or people would know he’s a farce and stop paying.

Humans: Many humans have fallen underground and lived deep in the palace until they died of natural causes (or accidents, things happen). Each time, their soul is taken afterwards and used to make more treatments.

There are currently six humans living there. They are not permitted to leave the palace under any circumstances. They all do their best to learn magic, a few taking it upon themselves to sneak out and back into the palace, searching for any remnants of human mages from before the monster human war.

Toriel is unsure how she should proceed with the seventh on its way, knowing she could break the barriers but hesitant to kill them for their own sake and worried about more sickness from the surface affecting her people, believing the withering to be from the outside.

Chara/Choral: Human determination is the key ingredient for treatment, and they have A Lot of it. Monsters can sense this, and want to take it for themselves, either to sell or make their own treatment. It’s simply too tempting.

Still, as they befriend monsters they are shaken from their desperation and gloomily accept they cannot hurt their new friend, who helps make things bearable in was Sans cannot.

[chronicbeans]

More Heilwald Loophole Headcanons

This time they are kinda general, but I will try to group together character based ones.

TW: Supernatural Forces, Slight Body Horror, Mentions of Terminal Illness (Liver Failure)

•I saw somewhere that the name of the hospital, "Heilwald Klinikum", can be loosely translated to something along the lines of "healing forest hospital", "unharmed forest hospital", "safe forest hospital", etc. (Don't take my word for it. I sadly don't speak German. I want to find some good German classes, though, since it's a cool language that I want to learn). So, while it could be that the name of a nearby area or possibly the founder of the hospital was named "Heilwald", I really like the idea of the surrounding forest being seen as healing or supernatural and possibly having something to do with the events in the game. I mostly consider this a headcanons, though, because of the lack of any substantial evidence besides the name (if I had more evidence, I would try to make it a theory, lol).

•The forest, alongside how most of the staff were devoted to helping the patients, is a part of why the hospital had such a good reputation. The patients were well cared for and happy. Once Dr. Randolph entered the picture, however, and wished for the hospital to find a way to cheat death, with the main desire to save himself, the forest essentially turned on the staff and patients. The weather is constantly raining, the patients suffering, and (most) of the staff disfigured in some way. Dr. Hauser and Nurse Helene seem to be the only ones not outwardly changed throughout the game. Dr. Hauser's strength and teleportation, as well as Nurse Helene's speed, are the changes the forest caused to them.

•The Ominous Voice's owner/host lies somewhere underground, or in the hospital's basement area. I can't really help but imagine that, even if the voice is actually the hospital itself, like some theories say, it has a physical body of its own to speak from. The voice echoes through the pipes of the hospital, too, resulting in it sounding slightly different in each area, depending on the condition of the pipes it needs to go through to reach the listener. If the pipes are rusted, it will sound different than well kept pipes. The only people who can hear it are those that are willing to listen, which is why the staff of the hospital are seemingly unable to hear it. Nurse Helene is only unable to hear it because the Ominous Voice doesn't talk to her in specific, not wanting to distract the only staff member actively trying to help the patients.

•Dr. Randolph does have a degree in dentistry and is pretty good at dental care compared to the rest of his medical skills. He just didn't care by the time that the dental building was completed enough to be used to treat patients to do a good job. That, combined with the sudden feeling that something was about to happen, which was caused by the forest and slow arrival of the loophole, made him extremely unmotivated and more determined to try to treat his own condition before his patients'. He often justified this with the idea that, if he were to die from his liver failure, then he wouldn't be able to treat anybody in the future.

•The out of place hospital bed in Dr. Randolph's office is where he sleeps. Unlike the other staff members, who are content to sleep at their desks, on a table, or even on the floor, Dr. Randolph decided to steal a hospital bed to sleep in. He has a lot of difficulties when it comes to falling and staying asleep, in part due to abdominal pain, so he found it too unbearable and difficult to sleep without a bed. He usually holds a pillow close to his stomach and lower abdomen to help with the pain.

•Most of the staff, besides Dr. Randolph, the Trash Collector, Dr. Hauser, Nurse Helene and Nurse Astrid, are only acutely aware of what has happened at the Heilwald Klinikum. They barely remember what it was like before everything changed, even how they looked before their odd mutations. They look at themselves and have the strange thought of "this doesn't seem quite right", but they can't put together the fact that they weren't always like this. The Dr. Randolph is completely aware of what is going on and why, while the rest are aware that something is horribly wrong, but not exactly why it is happening.

[celestialsonata7]

I can buy Pat being the crooked man and the energy corrupting him, but I don’t like how they treated the actually development that led up to it, does that makes sense? He is entitled, has boundary and anger/ jealousy issues. I can buy that, but his arc I’m not sure if it needed more time or if it was because of how sudden his change was or because you grew to like his character through the series.

I didn’t like how they handled the whole “he is always been evil and is impossible for him to change and any attempts to change are useless or another form of manipulation” I think the series does a very good job at showing his perspective and making you feel sorry for him at tikes and even empathize with what he is going through to just be like “oh, he is just evil and has always been like that and when everyone thought he was dead nobody cared and resented him for still being alive”

(I acknowledge that what he did was 100% wrong, he did terrible things Nicole was in her right to hate him and be distrustful of him. He is a very scary person because guys like him actually exist in real life)

Is weird because I’ve seen other shows do similar arcs to this one where the villain that turned evil due to their own personal flaws, shortcomings and issues and somehow still being unredeemable and dying at the end, but still the narrative being able to show them some kind of sympathy or acknowledgement/understanding towards their issues and still having them be unredeemable and die in the end. Sadly I don’t think Pat’s character arc had rbis.

How do you feel about the way his character was handled? Am I the only one who feels this way?

Hello Anon! Thank you for asking this! I could launch into a whole essay about what I think about this. XD So I think I will. Strap in, folks!

For those confused, this is pertaining to the Netflix series, 'Raising Dion', and contains MAJOR spoilers, so be forwarned if you plan on watching it.

(I'd like to premise this by saying it's been a hot minute since I watched the show, so I'm sorry if my recollection of its events is a little fuzzy.

I would also like to state that I freaking looooove Jason Ritter, and his perfomance in this show is amazing as always, and the reason that the character arc of Pat vexes me so is that I felt they did Jason dirty.)

So, I absolutely agree that it felt like his whole reveal was definitely rushed through, which is really poor writing on their part considering they knew where they were gonna take the character from the beginning. They had all that time to work out how they wanted to present the character and he still didn’t feel fleshed out enough. They just wanted to make the twist so surprising for the audience for shock value that they made sure we would never suspect him until the reveal. I can buy that people lie about themselves, they hide certain traits and motivations, sure, but for him to do a complete 180 of his character was just too ridiculous, especially when you consider how irrevocably determined and devoted he was to his goals once the reveal happened. Either he’s a hurting and desperate man who’s only doing what he needs to survive, OR he’s an evil being bent on making others suffer, you can’t have it both ways.

I think the main reason Pat is so unbelieveable as a character is that they kept flip-flopping him. He would CONSTANTLY contradict himself; "Dion, always listen to your Mom, BUT also let's have pizza even though she said 'no'", "Dion, only use your powers for good, BUT also let’s cheat at this basketball game", "Dion, good guys are always true, BUT definitely lie about using your powers in public", "Dion, I'm happy you got superpowers and can fight evil, BUT it definitely should have been me instead because I was there and everyone else got powers so I should have too", "Nicole, I like you, however if you don't feel the same way, I'm okay with that, BUT how dare you kiss other guys when you should be with me", like, it's not even bipolar, it's just bad writing. His motivations and desires are constantly changing that it just feels random and disorganized and done on a whim. It felt rushed and random simply because you never know what he wants. He wants to be a good godfather and friend to Dion and Nicole but no actually he just wants to kill them, but no actually he'd never hurt them, but no actually he'd do anything for power. It just doesn't make any sense.

People can have major flaws and still be good people, and people can have good traits and still be bad people, but these traits usually line up with a person's motivations, i.e. "I need to survive but I'll try not to kill if I don't have to, and if I do have to it will upset me because I still value human life. If there was another way, I'd take it but there isn't and that sucks", or "I value YOUR life because I'm attached to you but everything and everyone else is meaningless to me and I have no qualms with ending them for my own gain". You can't have, "I wish I was a better person except just kidding no I don't", it doesn't work that way.

You can say that Pat's motivation from the beginning, to the very end, was power; all he wanted was power, that was his end goal, that was what he always strived for, but then his actions should back that up. If all he wanted was power, why did he waste his time raising Dion, teaching him how to use his powers, helping Nicole, being a good friend to her, working at his job, hoping for promotions? Why not just go out and collect all the powered people at once, keep absorbing people, keep gaining power? You'll say, "well he wanted to wait for Dion to get stronger so he could absorb more power, he needed to be close to Nicole to be close to Dion, he needed the resources of his company to find more powered people", okay, yes, that all makes sense. If that was what he was planning the whole time, then that shows that he's smart and conniving. So everything he did was in service to that main goal; he helps Dion become more powerful so he can take all that power for himself. But he inadvertently creates his downfall, he "dies", all his power is gone, over and done with. Then WHY come back to "warn" everyone of another rising threat? You could say, "he wanted to get his power back", okay, but how? He no longer had the power to absorb people and he didn't even know he COULD get it back, he just knew it was still out there killing, and if he DID know he could get it back, why not go to where the power is in the first place? Why bother with going back to the city and the job and the people that would never help him in a million years? He KNEW he would be shunned and arrested and locked up forever if he showed his face there, and without any power he had no way of escaping, so why go back? He also knew they didn't understand that power either anyways; a superpowered eight-year-old beat him, not the highly educated and technologically advanced company, so what did he think he could gain from going back there? We already know he's smarter than that, if the above is true. By all accounts it doesn't make sense.

You could say the desire for power solely came from the crooked energy, and season one was all just Crooked Man-Pat, and once that was gone the true Pat came back, and he really DID just want to help and redeem himself, fine. But then he should not have been capable of reverting back to Crooked!Pat at the end, before the energy was even back in him. If all he wanted to do was help, then the concept of being powerful would mean nothing to him. The desire for power, the deceitful nature, the entitlement and selfishness should not have been there while he was "trying to help". You can't be selfless and selfish at the same time. You can't be forthcoming and deceitful, you can't be humble and entitled. All those things contradict each other. Again, it doesn't make sense.

Another thing that really really irked me while watching the series was that, from the very beginning, it seemed like Nicole never really liked Pat anyway. She was ALWAYS cold and distant with him, as if she already knew he was bad news even when he was "trying" to be kind and thoughtful. I don't know if that was a directorial problem or an acting choice but it felt so unfounded and random, and it made all the "nice" scenes feel forced. Not to mention Nicole was far too quick to just accept that Pat was evil all along, it just pulled away from their relationship so much so that it felt like they didn't even have one, like the only thing connecting them was Dion. Again, I don't know it that was intentional, or even if anyone else felt that way, but that's how it came across to me and it made it really hard to connect to either of them. Honestly, it felt like Pat had more chemistry with Dion than with her.

The only reason I fell in love with Pat at the beginning, and continued to route for his redemption until the end, was because, as stated at the top, I love Jason Ritter. I've seen many of his roles and applauded all his performances and so yes, I'm biased, but as I'm sure everyone else can agree, he has a kind face, and plays enduring really really well. He gets cast as kind people quite a lot, so anyone that has seen him before will already feel a sense of comfort when he's on screen. I think that is really only reason that Pat is so likeable at the start, and possibly feels redeemable at the beginning of season two; because people see this kind face and can see him being capable of kindness. But it's all for naught because of the way that the show and character is written; there's only so much you can do with what you're given. The script of 'Raising Dion' was basically a mess of tangled Christmas lights that are impossible to untangle, and the more they tried, the more tangled it got.

tl;dr Pat's character was really poorly handled from a writing standpoint; nothing he did made sense and his motivations were all over the place and his character was never consistent. All that is an absolute, crying shame because Jason Ritter was amazing in it anyways and I wish I could have enjoyed it more.

I hope that answered your question, and if not I'm sorry. I've never really written my thoughts on anything like this before and again, it's been so long since I saw the show so I may have gotten some things wrong or misremembered some things. But I had fun writing this, it's been a while since I've written ANYTHING and I really really appreciate you wanting to know my opinions, no one ever wants that. XD Hope you have a lovely day, Anon!

[highness-fangs]

what are your headcanons for the listeners

Ok I'll try:)))

Pen edition

•fangs actually knew they were going to be captured when they did, thus the calm conversion with sasha

•when BB was locked when they got into a fight over the porkchop, they had the worst panic attack of their life and wished they choose the bullet, but when they were trying to clam down all they thought about was Eve, it worked

•Scales really like their wings, bit they don't like the attention they get when they show them

•BB had a bike that was destroyed when they got captured, fangs got them a new one when they found out, BB almost cried

•fangs spent most their time before getting sent to earth (i really should check my lore info,but yk what i mean ) painting, they have a room where they paint and another where they store their paintings on top of their house-qualified room in the castle

•fangs visits their dead uncle's grave alot

•fangs genuinely didn't tell sasha about who they actually are just because it never came in a conversation

•BB was forced to be a vegetarian since they were young, and after that the taste of meat would always make them throw up so they sticked to it

•the reason why scales was in a low point in their life when they were abducted, is that injury they got in their leg that forbided them from dancing, dancing means alot to them

•^scales had very under-developed vocal cords before everything, so they resorted to dancing to express their feelings

•BB smokes, alot, so does Eve, their version of chilling at night is getting high, eve becomes all mushy and cuddly, BB gets really hungry, so imagine BB in the kitchen with eve koala Hugging them

•despite reading old books in their mystery nights, fangs really enjoys new-ish books, the ones people talk about in instagram and tiktok

•speaking of Instagram and tiktok, fangs can not use them,yes they have the newest phones, but no,they barely know how to call using it , it was until BB explained it to them that they were able to snoop around

•after being done with the process, fangs and BB killed sasha's ex, no one knows about it expect scales, whose cool with it and wishes they were there

•fangs can't cook, but they bake, their quick microwave cakes are to die for

•BB worked as a bartender for sometime, you wanna a cool drink? Ask them

•scales knows how to tattoo, never actually took it as a job, but it's in their back pocket

•fangs has a french accent, it used to annoy BB

•BB got a city accent

•BB was turned by an ex of theirs after they broke up, thinking they killed BB they ran away, that didn't last since BB had them for dinner that night

•The reason why sasha was shocked to see fangs body count is because it was 864 people

•all the 864 were killed for fun

•BB's body count is around 20-40

•most of them were out of their control

•the reason why BB excelles in the determination team is their bartending job, it kinda depends on aim to make an interesting show, and to shoot someone down it also depends on aim, so a win win if you ask them

•the self control BB has to not kill harriet the moment they see her in impressive

Okokokoko im starting to run of ideas, fun fact: i don't know how to do hcs, because my characters depend more on situations and events then on personality treats, so this is my first time doing them, tell me how i did?

I also decided to focus on the main 6 here hopefully I'll dig deeper, because i really like princy and frosty but since i love them i don't know shit about them, so asking me to make hc is kinda good 💀

[missjolly-blog2]

When it’s obvious you are and have been the problem in your parent’s lives. Ever since you started to use drugs at 22 over a man that was a horrible dealer and you lost everything you owned and worked for over this craving of something you never had a chance to experience, the experience and feeling of not being told every move to make, worrying about what others think of you, making yourself have to predict everything hyper vigilance in determining how your parents feel or their mood depending on their behavior or how many cans are Ina box and how low the bottle is after each new drink that is made. Having every fight they ever had broke it’s because of you or it’s because they don’t see eye to eye and multiple times in your youth all you ever saw was fighting, yelling, threats and your mom always walking out the door them coming back because she fills she had no where to go. You get my point. Back to the main focus after you finally got out and away from this man that help you lose everything. You have a total and complete mental breakdown and want nothing but to rage against anyone who had wronged you, treated you badly or abused and made fun of you for being naive or gullible then when you got fit off of pure anger, hatred and revenge you meet an other man have a child and the man you have this child with couldn’t even meet up to the expectations of what to do when you have a child. Then he does everything he wants while you’re pregnant and working not one but two jobs plus over time saving up money that you just stay quite and eat your feelings until you gain over 100 plus lbs because you learned at a young age that no matter how you feel you are wrong and made to feel invalidated. But OHHHH does it get even better! You are told by the person you have a child with that they were just there to be the fun and have fun not wanting the responsibility that comes with having a child. Now your 29 still living at your parents not able to keep a job because all you do is constantly hate who you are and what your life has become so you try and numb the pain by bad coping mechanisms then while looking at your own child and watching her play and even playing with her and smiling but inside you know you are completely and utterly worthless and just wanting to die even begged for people to kill you, made problems in the past to see if people would kill you and even asked wtf ever is out in the universe to take you because unfortunately you aren’t able to just do it yourself.

Just it’s just one of those days.

[weatherman667]

Gender Reversal in Speculative Fiction

One of the favourite "progressive" tactics in Speculative Fiction is to reverse gender roles. It is almost universally done so poorly as to simply smack in the face of any progressive notions they might have had. This is because human gender roles are largely biological.

Simple example: Making a world where polyandry is the norm. Look!, in this world women have multiple husband! Ooh! Are you feeling uncomfortable now? Look how uncomfortable all of the characters are! It's so progressive. (I'm looking at you DS9)

From a biological perspective, this would be absolute lunacy. This is because human female fertility is extremely limited. This is why women got the protected gender role while men got the die-for-your-women gender role. It doesn't matter how many husbands a woman has, her fertility is equally limited. 1 child per year, on average. Multiple births do happen, but are rare and dangerous. If we habitually married 12 year old boys to 50 year old women, we would equally go extinct, as 50+ women are non-fertile, while 50+ men are.

AKA Extinction.

It would only make sense from any perspective if human biology was drastically changed, or if severe social considerations were made.

E.g. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. This is set in an Alaskan-like setting, where there are far more men than women, ergo, the only way most men could have a wife is if they share. This is really the only situation when defacto polyandry would make sense.

But, what if you have aliens? Oh, well, then we can drastically change the biologically determined gender-roles. But they never, ever do. 99% of the time, when they try to change the gender roles, they make only but the most token efforts when it comes to making the biology significantly different. I can honestly say there has only been one situation where this has been done well at all, and the best part of it all is that it wasn't a shocking reveal that was waved in your face for the sake of progressivism. It made perfect sense once you understood the biology involved.

Enter the Salarians. In Mass Effect one of the three main races in the setting, (Humans aren't main until much later), are a race of haploid/diploid sex determinants.

Unfertlized eggs hatch into Males.

Fertilized eggs hatch into Females.

By fertizing only the most minor portions of eggs, they keep their population and society stable. Since the women have all of the biological power in the setting, and are the only ones related to more than a single other person are the Females, they are the political elites, (called Dalatrasses).

But what about that polyandry I was talking about?

This said, there have been very little races that use defacto polygyny, even though it would require no biological justification, whatsoever. They could copypasta humans, and if you kill enough of the males it's the only thing that makes any biological sense.  This is because a man’s fertility is directly tied to however many wives he has.

Some reptiles use a ZW sex determination system. ZZ are males, ZW are females. The females often end up far larger and sexually dominant.

Boom, low amount of females, default polyandry. So why hasn't anyone done it?, probably because they would be alien enough to not be applicable to humanity. They care more about waving their progressive idiocy in people's faces than they do about the biological inviability of it.

Let's take Dragon Age. In Dragon Age, the Christianity-like Chantry has female-only priests. They use the same justification that most Christians do when trying to ban female priests, their Jesus-like figure was a woman, and therefore only a woman could take her place.

The trouble is that Christianity didn't invent male priests. Almost any major society has had male priests. This is because men do everything, at least in terms of jobs. The warriors, poets, bakers... any profession really, were all men. Ergo men were also priests. Male priests are a byproduct of human gender roles, so a complete reversal of this doesn't make sense without an equivalent biological change.

But let's take a case where it does make sense, Warcraft's Night Elves, (at least pre-WoW). The males spent the last 10,000 years asleep, patroling the Emerald Dream, and were not awoken until Warcraft III: Reing of Chaos. Every other façet of society was taken over by females, but they don't perform those roles in a male way. Take the Sentinels, Night Elf's military, they took the Elven love of assymetric warfare and codified it, to the point their heavy cavalry is only a step heavier than Human light cavalry. When the males show up, they are physically larger and more imposing, (and Night Elf females are taller than Men), but they are largely docile if left alone. They prefer less civlized pursuits, which can lead to napping in bear form, (i.e. hibernation). The fact that they are, (or were), immortal meant they could take as much time as they needed to. The Night Elves also didn't NEED to eat, they could be sustained from their Moon Wells, that seem to collect mana from the Moon). The main female Night Elf in Warcraft III was the High Priestess, (also called First Priestess, in both the chronological and social sense). But that said, despite being the defacto leader of their people, (as their actual leader is busy sleeping), she still acts like a priestess, not a priest.

There are / were societies with priestesses, (which is why we literally have a word for it), and they typically acted in a very different manner to male priests, and the sudden shake up in Dragon Age isn't progressive, for the simple reason that it completely ignores that priestesses exist and have been a thing for all of Human history. Funny enough, Bioware went on to make the Asari, a female-only species that actually did a fantastic job of not gender-swapping for the fun of it, but taking the premise and simply running with it. Every façet of Asari society is run by women, but it's not simply a gender-swap, hurr-durr, women can do it, too.

Now we need to talk about something very few people know about, the least of which being the vapid progressive ideologs. Dame. Dames are the female equivalent of a knight. They existed, just like female warriors have existed for pretty much all of human history, (called Shield Maidens). They were rare, but they were there. The Illiad has Achilles killing a warrior, only to find out it's an Amazon, and upon seeing her face, fell down and wept.

Wait, female warrior? Male warrior falling to his knees in battle and weeping? That didn't happen, did it.

It did, in some of the earliest writing we have.

Back to dames. There's an annoying trend in popular culture to try and use Ser instead of Sir, and pretend it's gender neutral. You know what this does?, ignores the Dames. Every female knight, past and present is wiped away in the name of progressivism.

It's also weird of people coming to the Anglosphere and... using English cultural norms to attack us.

England was one of only European kingdoms that had a long history of letting Queens rule. Until recently, we had one who ruled for 70 years. The question of what would it be like under female leadership was answered before anyone alive today thought to ask it.

Weirdly, one of the only pieces to do a proper gender reversal was My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and this was likely because they were not trying to do it as a take that. The only thing they needed to change, (other than the apparent gender ratio being about 8 females to 1 male), was making the males less ambitious. And because of this, leadership positions were more about cooperation than leadership, and so were considered more or less intermediaries and/or coordinators. And so you end up with leaders being female from the reigning princess, all the way down to the town's mayor. They didn't need to make the men less competent, nor beat you over the head with how great it was.

[daily-rubbersoul-redux]

Shoza and Synia sat across from each other, the only thing between them being Synia’s desk.  Neither wanted to start the conversation.  But, eventually Shoza did.

“....Why didn’t you tell me he’s been missing, Synia.  It’s been 3 damn years, you have no excuse.”

The woman avoided his gaze.  “Because you didn’t need to know.  And I knew you’d get like this.”

“I didn’t need to know? I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW!?” Shoza’s tone was getting angrier by the second, and he slammed his hands down on Synia’s desk. “LIKE HELL I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW, HE’S MY FUCKING SON WOMAN!” Synia stood up, avoiding eye contact no more, giving the man a piercing glare. 

“Oh really? Coulda fooled me, with how much he despises your sorry ass.  I can’t blame him, honestly, it’s not his fault his father was such a goddamn coward he treated his son like shit just so he could get him to take his life, all because ‘Oh wah, it’s too hard to live without my wife’.  What makes you think he wants your sorry ass saving him, huh?”

As soon as the words came out, she regretted them.  Not because they were false, or exaggerated.

But because they were painfully true.

Shoza just stood there in silence, hunched over the desk.  For a second it seemed his rage had boiled over, that he was about to explode, but then....

He just got up from the desk, his posture and expression just hollow. Empty. Defeated.

All he could muster was a near silent “......You’re right.”  Behind those tiny, seemingly insignificant words were years of denial, years of pain, years of suppressed regrets.

And with that, before Synia even had a chance to say anything back, the man left.  All Synia could do was curse herself.  

But... maybe accepting the truth would help him.

At least, that’s what she hoped.

As the truth was all she could offer.

[ultralightpoe]

Paid For It - Yelena Belova

Description: Yelena takes pride in making you blush and just this once you get her 

Warnings: Implied sexual themes??? Not really warning worthy

Authors Note: There aren’t enough Yelena imagines out there so I’m going to singlehandedly fix that. Feel free to send in requests, I write for most the marvel characters. ENJOY!!!

Word Count: 610

MAIN Master List - - Marvel Masterlist 

             Yelena’s life had never been easy, given that her first memories of a family were just a trick to sell a mission, the rest of her life seemed to follow the same pattern. Life was not in Yelena’s favor.

               But then she got Natasha back, and her parents were good again, and she was free. But nothing, absolutely nothing, beat the day she met you. Sure nothing had been easy in Yelena’s life, but it was all worth it when you came into the picture.

               You had actually waltzed into her life, smiling from ear to ear as you greeted her at the Avengers facility. You were a medical assistant at the compound and Yelena needed to get cleared for the field so she could go on a mission, since Doctor Cho was busy you went to grab her. 

                You called her name, reading straight off the clipboard, and once you looked up you realized she was the only one in the room. You could either die of embarrassment or play it off, you chose the former. 

                 “Hello?! Is there a Yelena Belova here?” You call, looking past her like there were other people in the waiting room. “Hello? Yelena? No? Okay bye.”

                It wasn’t the greatest save, but it made Yelena laugh, and once you heard it you knew you needed to hear the sound again. 

               She left that appointment cleared for the field and with your number written on her wrist. 

                It didn’t take long for her to figure out she loved to make you blush, especially since it was so easy to. You really were one of the sweetest things she had ever seen and she was determined to ruin you, her little любовник. (lover)

                 It became a game to her really. Yelena Belova was addicted to your blush, and though you try to make her blush just as much she is a trained assassin, blondie doesn’t break that easily.

                 Today the two of you are lazing around your apartment, watching some old sitcoms Wanda sent you for your birthday, as Yelena stroked your hair. She was scrolling through her phone in content, texting Kate and reading tweets.  

              “Hey lovey?” You ask out of nowhere, reaching behind you to grab where her hand was laced through your hair. 

             “Yes?”

              “What is your dream job? Like, if you had complete freedom what would you do?”

                It takes her a moment to think about it, staring at you as she does. She remembers having a similar conversation with Natasha 3 years ago, but now that she had you she honestly didn’t know. 

            “I have no clue.” She admits, leaning down to kiss you. You laugh through the kiss, flicking her forehead before sitting up.

“I’d like to be a baker.”

               “Любовник you burn water.” Yelena laughs, snatching you between her legs to pull you closer. 

                “Can you imagine getting paid just to be pretty?” You giggle, kissing up her face as you sit in her lap. “Honey, you’d be a billionaire.”

                  Then it happens. Yelena Belova blushes, and there is no hiding it. The red flush travels from her neck up to her forehead as her skin heats up.

          “You think so?” She whispers, biting your lip. 

                You’re now on a high from making Yelena blush and can’t stop now. “You should be paid for it…. I’d pay you for it.”

                “You would?” If possible, she blushes even harder, hands traveling to your hips. “How much?”  

                You stare at her for a moment before grabbing your wallet. “I have 5 bucks and a cold stone coupon from Scott.” 

“Works for me.” She laughs, bringing you in for another kiss.

[fire-of-the-sun]

Viktor Season 2 Theories: Motivations for Transformation

So, I've been thinking about what needs to happen to make Viktor finish his transformation next season when he no longer has the desire to... which is completely in-line with his character. For a person whose main goal in life is to help others, accidentally killing someone (especially one of the few people in the world who genuinely cared about and looked up to him) would be absolutely devastating - the exact opposite of everything he’s trying to achieve. He went too far and, in realizing this, rightfully decides that the Hexcore needs to be destroyed even if it means dooming himself. He’s never been a cautious man when it came to his work or the risks to his own person, but he won’t extend the same recklessness to others. It’s not worth making progress if people are harmed in the process, as Heimerdinger once said. 

After the missile though (I’ll discuss how I think he’ll survive it in another post), war between Zaun and Piltover is inevitable. As a person who has a foot in both worlds and who has only ever genuinely wanted to help everyone no matter where they come from, this could result in a huge internal struggle for him. However, if all chances for peace fall through and it came down to a choice, I think he'd definitely choose Zaun over Piltover. Things could be made even worse if Piltover decides to go forward with making hextech weapons, perhaps even using the Hexcore to do so. Viktor can’t let that happen and may steal it to keep it from being weaponized, knowing better than anyone the dangers of it.

This situation could be what brings Viktor to decide his fate once and for all. Before the missile, he perhaps thought he could at least die content knowing that peace with Zaun was possible and that Jayce would maintain that and continue their hextech dream without him. If the deal changes and if Jayce changes his mind too, Viktor may feel he has no choice but to turn against his friend and Piltover as a whole to do what he thinks is right.

Viktor may determine that the only way he can help people is by keeping himself alive to protect Zaun and perhaps stop the war. This imbues him with new purpose. He’ll always be devastated by accidentally killing Sky and never forgive himself for it, but he may also come to believe that ‘quitting’ and dying when his people are in danger is basically giving up on them and forfeiting a chance to make real change like he’s always wanted. What Viktor uncovers from Sky's notes could also inspire him to continue as well if he believes it's what she wanted. That by pursuing the gift she gave him, he is also honoring her memory.

It may be misguided and partially influenced by the corrupt Hexcore itself (it’s shown to have some control over him and could very well slowly begin to change him into someone unrecognizable), but it still ultimately aligns with his character goal and that's the only way at this point that I can see it happening. 

As Sky says: “Everyone’s gotta play their part [in making the world a better place], right?” This is his part to play. His way of truly helping others, honoring her memory and living up to her belief in him. Even if he is killed in the process, at least he’ll believe he went out trying to make a difference once and for all and securing his legacy by becoming a solider for Zaun... which, in turn, will put him at odds with Jayce, the hero of Piltover and solidify his transformation into the Machine Herald.

I want to point out though that I think all of this will take some time. I don't even know if we'd see a fully-fledged Machine Herald by the end of season 2 honestly, it could easily take longer and I'm okay with that. I'd be very surprised and even disappointed if Viktor starts changing too soon. I doubt that'll happen though because the writing on this show has been excellent so far and I think they've done a great job with his character and will continue to do so. Also, I'm not familiar with League of Legends so the specifics of his actual lore didn't influence much of this post, my thoughts are based mostly on what information and foreshadowing the show alone provides. 

To read more of my thoughts and analysis of Viktor and Arcane, search the tag #arcanemeta on my blog!

[maijobi]

a thin line

dabi x reader

summary: dabi always seemed to work against your plans so you decided to confront him not knowing what he’d actually after the argument..

a/n: this is make-up for my last fic cuz i was most definitely not proud of that one shxjsjch.. anyways hope you enjoy this one bc I think I actually like the outcome even though it was a bit stressful to come up with the idea.

also,, the ending is an idea I found off of instagram and I was excited to use it here

—————————————————————————

“why don’t we just infiltrate friday at the ball?”, dabi asked shigaraki as he was looking at the plan in front of him.

“because that’d be too much of a risk”, you said, glaring at him and pointing out the obvious.

“a little bit of risks couldn’t hurt you once in a while” dabi snapped at you with a grin.

“alright sir know it all, just about how do you think to get past all the people and guards that’ll literally be standing in front of every door?”, you asked raising one eyebrow. 

“we’ll figure out a way”, he said.

“you don’t even know how you’ll do it, so I say let’s not go for the uncertain. I say we do it during the auction. the guards will be located around the auction area and not the main hall that leads to the big office, where we need to be. if we can get someone to hack the system, getting in will be a piece of cake. I figured out this’ll have a 99% of success based on the analytics we have made till now”, you said confidently. “plus I think I can do the actual infiltration so I can take that job on me. after all i’m the only one that’ll actually get the job done uncaught. “

“sounds too boring. where is the killing? where is the fun?”, dabi said with a bored face. 

“no killing is needed unless someone gets in our way. not everyone needs to actually die in order for us to get to the point we want dabi”, you said irritated at his constant counteraction. 

“alright let’s just take a break for now”, shigaraki said. “for now let’s figure out a detailed plan for both and we’ll choose the one that’ll work out best.”

“but-”, you said.

“if it means you’ll both stop bickering out of hate for once around me I wanna put a pause on this for now. we’ll talk about it tomorrow”, shigaraki said.

“hate? oh no I love her so much”, he teasingly said, making you roll your eyes.

“such a thin line between your love and hate. I give you guys till tomorrow to work your plan out better”, shigaraki said while sighing and taking his leave.

“ugh, this is all your fault”, you said to dabi wile turning away from him and walking to the door after shigaraki was completely out of sight.

“hold on, hold on”, he said confused as he stopped you by turning you around from your shoulder. “how is this suddenly my fault?”

“suggesting plans that dont even make sense?”, you said.

“shigaraki asked us to give him ideas and I did? I don’t see the issue here”, he said not giving in.

“you’re just suggesting your plan because you don’t want mine to work out. it’s literally so obvious, I don’t get why you’re always up in my business and trying to make my plans look bad in front of shigaraki”, you spat, actually getting pissed at him.

“because if your plan gets chosen it’ll put you in danger most”, he suddenly said. you felt taken aback.

“why do you care so much about my so called well being when in reality you don’t even like me?”, you asked. 

“who said I didn’t like you? you just decided that on your own because you didn’t like the idea of me joining your little gang”, he said.

“thats not true”, you said.

“then why is it that you assumed i’d hate you the same way you hate me”, he asked looking at you with his lips pressed against each other and his eyebrows raised.

“you always work against me?”, you said pointing the obvious.

“you might be right there”, he said,”but I have my reasons.”

“these reasons being my so called well being?”, you asked uninterested.

“yes.”

the determination in his voice made you silent for a second. you were slightly shocked at how pure and genuine his words felt. you weren’t sure how to answer on that. but even the slight shyness you felt because of his concern, was overpowered by your anger.

“very nice of you, but I didn’t ask you to care for me. i’m capable of taking care of myself. look out for yourself next time and don’t interrupt my ideas for the sake of your selfish desires. we’re adults, so act like it”, you said walking away for real this time.

“so my sincere words mean literally nothing to you?”, he asked in a slightly angry tone while following you to the common room.

“why are you following me?”, you asked, getting annoyed at his pushy behaviour. 

“cuz i’m trying to get a point across here. it’d be nice if you considered other’s feelings here once in a while”, he said.

you stopped when you were in the center of the room. you were facing him with your back, but turned around with a very annoyed and angry face. “let’s get one thing straight”, you said taking a step closer to him”, no one is here to actually create a family bond. we’re here to interfere and shake up the hero world that failed to be actual heroes to us. I do what’s best for me, but has an actual good outcome for the others too. so don’t go around telling me to consider other’s feelings when all you do is care for your own selfish desires”, you bitterly said. “just when I thought you might have actually cared, you showed just how selfish you are. just when i thought you might not be that bad of a person”, you said rather disappointed instead of angry.

when he spoke no word you decided to take your leave again, walking past him. but before you could actually get to the door you heard his footsteps and before you knew it he was holding your wrist and stopping you from walking even an inch further.

“why won’t you just leave me alone”, you frustratingly said.

he turned you around and pulled you close to him. he bent over you and was almost touching his forehead with yours. “you know why”, he whispered. “because of this.”

he crashed his lips against yours and there was absolutely nothing soft about it. it was rough and messy, yet passionate. it made you feel hot inside, not the fuzzy and warm type of hot, but a burning sensation you felt all over your body. it was as if he was lighting you on fire. 

but it felt good.

so good, that you forgot about why you were even mad, but the furiousness lingered and made the tension even bigger. you let him devour every piece of you and you didn’t care about the bite marks he’d leave on your lips. lips moving open mouthed and tongues dancing together. you were feeling almost every part of him and he’d groan in between, sending shivers down your spine.

when the both of you parted he looked in your eyes, as if he was staring through your soul. you were searching his face, waiting for a sign that he’d speak.

but instead he kissed you again. but this time softer, warmer. the one that made you feel fuzzy and warm inside. something you never knew he was capable of doing. he was still holding your wrist with one hand and the other made its way to your back. he pulled you closer, slowly and softly. he’d kiss you ever so gently that it felt like he had become a totally different person than only a few seconds ago. but you were not complaining at all. 

he slowly parted away from you and when you looked at him you saw his red cheeks and closed eyes. and when he slowly opened them you could see a version of dabi which you’d never seen before. that soft look no one had ever seen, all the hatred and anger you were feeling a few minutes ago all gone, overshadowed by the soft look he was giving.

“I thought you hated me”, he teased, caressing your cheeks while giving you a soft smile.

“things change...”, you muttered.

“you’re cute when you don’t want to admit things aloud, you know. Go on, just say that you like me”, he said while stopping his movements on your cheeks and making sure you were looking at him and only him.

you should have seen it coming. him making you feel this way. you always said your personalities clashed, but they clashed so much, that you actually overlooked just how fitting they actually were. the polar opposites, yet the same. you weren’t completely sure how to describe it, but it was something you had never experienced before. it could be a challenge coming up your way, but you figured it was something worth battling for. 

because after all, there was only a thin line between the hate and love you felt for each other.

[blackkatmagic]

I'm seeing a lot of Cg and Fox stuff on your blog....

....what do you have planed, oh Queen Of RarePairs?

;)

For the first time in her life, Padmé is unmoored, untethered, and it feels good.

Her steps ring through the Senate’s halls, all but empty at this hour, but she keeps her chin up, her eyes forward. Perfect poise, perfect determination, perfectly pleasant as she inclines her head to Mas Amedda without pausing. His eyes linger on her, his footsteps falter for just an instant, but Padmé doesn’t stop, just heads for the lift just as it reaches the main floor. A handful of aides slip out, but Padmé passes them and steps in, offering the only remaining occupant a smile.

“Commander Thorn,” she says politely.

Thorn has his helmet off for the first time that she’s ever seen, is holding a large box balanced on one hip as he tries to keep four cups of caf steady with his free hand. When he sees her, he stiffens, twitching like he’s going to try to salute. “Senator Amidala! Sorry, ma’am, I—”

“There's nothing to be sorry for,” Padmé says, and reaches out, meeting his eyes. “May I?”

Thorn blinks, and his gaze flickers from the caf cups to the deep red of her dress. “That’s not necessary, Senator, I don’t want to trouble you—”

“You're not,” Padmé says firmly, and can't help but smile. “I'm not in a hurry, Commander, and I’d be happy to help you.”

There's a pause, and then Thorn smiles, quick and a little warm. “Well, Senator, if you're sure you wouldn’t mind. The Chancellor is staying late, so the Guard stays too.”

Padmé knows perfectly well that Palpatine is still here, and plans to be here for at least another few hours. She doesn’t say as much, just reaches out to take three of the cups, balanced between her fingers, and then steps back to keep the trailing, gauzy fall of her sleeves out of the way of Thorn’s boots.

“You're all very devoted,” Padmé says quietly, and it’s something she admires, that even with no Jedi to follow, even with nothing but cruelty from the Senators and the Senate Guard and the people of Coruscant. “I wish more senators cared for the Republic even half as much as the Guard does.”

Thorn flushes, wedges his box against the edge of the lift and rubs at the bridge of his nose with his newly freed hand. “We’re just doing our job, Senator,” he says, and the curve of his mouth becomes something a little wry. “We were made for it.”

Millions of soldiers, created the same way. Made to die. Padmé doesn’t have proof of anything, but—she knows what she suspects, what she’s sure deep down in her bones is true. The reminder steels her, and she takes a breath, all too aware of the weight of the slim case hung over her arm, the blaster strapped to her thigh. It’s not a weight she minds, particularly with Thorn right in front of her, avoiding her eyes.

His hair is long. She didn’t know that, because he’s never taken his helmet off in front of her. It’s long and all tight curls and the bottom half of it is bleached pale gold. Pretty, Padmé thinks. Different than any other Guard she’s met. That’s likely the point of it.

“You were,” she says, because there's no denying that. “But the way you care can't be manufactured, and I'm deeply grateful to you for it.”

Thorn huffs, quietly pleased but still a little flushed. “Thank you for saying so, Senator,” he says, and then, like he’s desperate to change the subject, “Is General Skywalker coming to meet you? If you're waiting on him, I can always find a couple of the Guard to see you home.”

Padmé curls her fingers a little tighter around the cups, but doesn’t waver. The Knight who escorted her on her last mission, what he’d said—

But Tae Diath isn't the reason for this. Anakin isn't the reason for this, either, even if it feels like she’s woken up in ways she can't quite articulate.

The Jedi Council will receive her message in the morning, with all the information about what happened on Tatooine and what he did to the Tuskens there. Whatever action they take, it’s out of her hands.

And before that, she has something else she needs to do.

“No,” she says evenly. “Anakin is not welcome anywhere near me right now. I'm here for my own reasons.”

Thorn slants her a startled look, but nods. “I’ll pass the word along,” he says, and when Padmé pauses, surprised, he smiles. “We’re the Coruscant Guard, Senator. No Jedi. If he’s bothering you, he’ll get tossed out like any other civilian.”

Padmé can't help but laugh, just the image of Anakin getting ejected from the Senate building enough to make her feel lighter. It would be far harder in practice, but—she appreciates the thought. “Thank you, Commander. I’ll take that as permission to hide behind you if I see him coming.”

With a grin, Thorn balance the last remaining caf cup on top of the box, then raises an arm, flexing showily even though any potential muscle is hidden beneath his armor. “Any time, Senator. I’ll keep him away.” He pauses, smile fading into concern, and then asks, “Can I…did he do something to you, Senator?”

“I don’t think he meant to,” Padmé says, because she truly believes that. Anakin isn't usually cruel. Just…thoughtless and self-centered. Easily driven to rage.

A murderer, she thinks, and closes her eyes. She told him it was all right. She told him it was Human, to feel that kind of rage. Bile turns in her stomach, and for a moment she can't even breathe.

“Regardless,” she says, and forces herself to open her eyes, to smile at Thorn. She’s fixing her mistakes. It won't make up for what she did, but she’s trying. “He did it, and I disagreed with it, so we’re officially divorced.”

It’s only a slight exaggeration. They were, technically, never officially married, and when she contacted the priest who officiated, it was to find he had no memory at all of the ceremony. Anakin muddled his thoughts, left him without any recollection of the wedding, and they’d used fake names, hadn’t registered the union anywhere.

If she’d known what he’d done to the official—

Except it likely wouldn’t have mattered at all until Tae wiped the influence from her mind and left her thinking clearly once more.

Tae had thought it was the Sith who did it to her, but Padmé knows better.

There's a pause, startled, and Thorn frowns a little. “I didn’t know you were married,” he says, and then winces. “Sorry, Senator. Not to say we spend a lot of time thinking about your personal life, but—”

Padmé can't help but smile. “That’s quite all right, Commander. I didn’t advertise it, because of Anakin's status as a Jedi. The Order asks that its members be free of other oaths, and he wasn’t.”

Thorn’s gaze is sharp as he studies her, even if the slant of his mouth is softer than she expects. “We’ll keep him out of your way, Senator Amidala,” he says again, but there's more weight behind it this time. “If you're headed somewhere dangerous, just let us know. We’re always glad to accompany you.”

That likely won't be something she has to worry about after tonight, but the offer is kindly meant. “Thank you, Commander,” Padmé says, and when the lift comes to a stop, it’s on the floor where the Chancellor’s office is located. The main office for the Guard’s command, as well, and nerves curl in Padmé’s stomach, but—

She knows what she has to do. She knew the moment she left the port, ignoring Tae's pleas to see a mind healer or at least speak to the Council.

The Council will get her message, but Padmé is the one who set this in motion. She’s the only one who can stop it.

[seyaryminamoto]

Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

[doppel-drop-distance]

Doppel Spotlight: Giovanna

Surprise~!

I know, I know, about time, right? The hypothetical Soul Gem has broken, and the Doppel Spotlights are back from the dead! Er…temporarily, anyway. I can’t say for certain how many more of these I’m up to doing just yet. It’s a bit too early for me to make any big estimates or guarantees. But! This Doppel analysis has sat here unfinished for quite some time now! And you all have shown such lovely support that I couldn’t help but be excited looking at all this old material again. So as a gift to you all, let’s finally analyze the Doppel of our main protagonist, Iroha Tamaki!

This analysis will contain spoilers for all of Magia Record’s first arc! This does include anime-specific content, as I will be discussing certain scenes from Episodes 5 and 7! You have been warned!

Let’s dive in, shall we?

GIOVANNA

Doppel of Silence

Feature: Cuckoo

“The master of this emotion is aware of how pitiful her Doppel is and refuses to look at it. This Doppel wordlessly wraps around and strangles anything it doesn't want to hear as it continues its search for something to fill the hole in its heart. While it should be calling for someone, it is cowardly and afraid of acknowledging the reality it has concealed, and so it remains, silently covering its ears.”

It's been a while, so how about we start things off with a little refresher?

Both Giovanna and Campanella’s names are direct references to Night on the Galactic Railroad, a Japanese novel written by Kenji Miyazawa. In the story, a shy boy named Giovanni travels on a star-bound train with his close friend, Campanella. To keep things brief, I’ll leave most of the general plot details out. However, if you’d like a lengthier summary, I suggest reading the summary I provided in the previous Doppel Spotlight, which is linked here.

I should also mention I actually located an English-translated copy of Night on the Galactic Railroad! As a result, I can quote the story directly, although I cannot guarantee the accuracy of the translations or my own interpretations. Please keep that in mind as you read!

The opening scene of the novel establishes early on that Giovanni is a reserved, self-conscious boy. In class, he is certain he knows the answer to the teacher’s question. However, when called on, he doubts himself and stays silent, bringing upon the jeers of his classmates. Campanella, who also raised his hand for the question, willingly chooses not to answer, despite also knowing, in order to show some sympathy for the flustered Giovanni.

This opening scene is likely what is referenced in Giovanna’s nature as the Doppel of silence. Giovanni stays silent out of self-doubt, and as a result believes himself to be pathetic. Iroha also silences herself in her own way, being very passive, self-conscious, and reserved at the beginning of her story. And, true to that comparison, her Doppel’s reflections of insecurity make her feel pitiful, to the point where she refuses to look at it.

Giovanni’s character can also be representative of Iroha’s inner loneliness. With his mother sickly and his father out of the house, Giovanni is too occupied with taking jobs and caring for his family to have time to talk. More often, he is bullied by his peers. The only exception is with Campanella, who doesn’t bully him, and even sympathizes with him. As Giovanni and Campanella travel on the Galactic Railroad, Giovanni’s loneliness is at its clearest. Campanella begins talking to Kaoru, another passenger on the train, and Giovanni becomes morose with jealousy. See this quote here:

“Is there really nobody who will stick with me to the edges of the universe and beyond? Campanella just sits there jabbering away with that little girl, and it hurts me more than anybody knows.”

Iroha is also incredibly lonely, deep down. She lives on her own, with parents away on business trips. The anime implies she doesn’t have a lot of friends either, with her classmates talking behind her back instead. Worst of all, her sister, who she values more than anyone else, is completely absent, Iroha being the only one that remembers that she exists. Such relationships sound awfully lonely, don’t they? It’s only through her bond with Yachiyo and the rest of Mikazuki Villa that Iroha grows into her own, letting her optimism, warmth, and confidence shine through.

Giovanna’s connections to Giovanni tie her quite close to Campanella, Yachiyo’s Doppel. And, well, Yachiyo is certainly not the kind and sympathetic Campanella at first meet. Her first encounter with Iroha is cold, brutally honest, and fully intent on keeping Iroha out at any cost. We learn later on that this attitude is a wall Yachiyo puts up to protect people – that she believes the people that get close to her die, and that she still struggles with the guilt of her past. Yet, it is Iroha who shows sympathy to Yachiyo, breaking down that wall between them. For example, let’s take a look at Chapter Six. After a trip to the Memory Museum Uwasa, Yachiyo has been reminded of the death in her life and is reflexively closing herself off again to keep Iroha safe. Iroha once shriveled up in response to Yachiyo’s intimidating rejection, but now, as her friend, she isn’t having it. She says this:

“You saying there’s nothing you can do to help Tsuruno and the others… It makes me feel sad…Lonely…We fought together all this time…But more than that, I’m angry. I’m angry with you, Yachiyo...”

“I’m your friend, Yachiyo. And as your friend, I’m going to take out that Uwasa, all on my own! I’m going to be the one to protect you. I’ll smash this made-up idea you have of me sacrificing myself for you!”

Just as Giovanni interprets his journey with Campanella as a sign to stay diligent in life, Iroha’s friendship with Yachiyo allows her to steady her own resolve and fight adamantly. Their namesake connection is a sign of their bond, and their newfound devotion to fight together and protect each other.

To wrap up this Galactic Railroad talk, have you noticed that in many of the anime’s early episodes, Iroha is riding on a train? In fact, it is on a train that Iroha is whisked away to Zenobia’s Barrier in Kamihama, where she meets Yachiyo for the first time. Perhaps a stretch, but a fun little detail regardless.

Anyway, there’s far more to Giovanna than story connections! Giovanna’s silent nature reflects a lot of Iroha’s character struggles: mainly, her feelings of denial, and her inclination towards self-sacrifice.

“This Doppel wordlessly wraps around and strangles anything it doesn't want to hear as it continues its search for something to fill the hole in its heart. While it should be calling for someone, it is cowardly and afraid of acknowledging the reality it has concealed, and so it remains, silently covering its ears.”

When you think of someone “strangling anything it doesn’t want to hear”, concealing their own reality and being afraid of acknowledging it...well, that sounds a lot like someone who doesn’t want to accept the truth.

Iroha shows quite a bit of denial in her search for Ui. The odds are stacked against her for a lot of Arc 1. She finds little to no clues wherever she searches, and the Ui she encounters from the Uwasa of the Commoner’s Horse is only a fake. Iroha is certain that Touka and Nemu, Ui’s closest friends, will remember Ui. But, they do not, and only ridicule Iroha for her seemingly impossible set of memories. Throughout Chapter Ten she is belittled for sticking to her goals. She’s ensured on all fronts that Touka and Nemu aren’t believing her, and that there’s nothing she can do to change their minds. But, no matter how many times Iroha is told by the world that she’s believing in a lie, she never lets her belief go.

“I’m still going. No matter what you say. I’m bringing Ui back with me…She’s the whole reason I came back to Kamihama.”

This stubborn determination, when twisted by the corrupt perception of a Witch, is far more like paranoid desire: an aching, fearful need to find whatever is missing in her heart and get rid of whatever threatens it.

Following this, let’s talk about Giovanna’s feature: a cuckoo. Cuckoos are solitary birds, shy and secretive, and best known for their calls. Yet, Giovanna’s beak is tied up with cloth. She cannot call for anyone. Her journey to find Ui is painted as one of futility: Giovanna searches and searches for the one she’s longed for, but in the end, is too afraid to call out to her.

Here’s a fun detail, by the way:

In Episode 5, when Iroha summons her Doppel for the first time, Giovanna actually does not have bandages around her beak (which is why she’s able to let out that high-pitched shriek):

In future appearances, however, Giovanna does have the bandages around her beak.

Come to think of it, Giovanna looks rather... different in her first appearance, doesn’t she? Not only is her beak not bandaged, but her colors are a lot redder and more decayed, her cloak is worn and full of holes, and the crown around her head is gone. This may just be a stylistic choice for Iroha’s first Doppel, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s a sign for something else. Maybe that Giovanna is angry with the Commoner’s Horse Uwasa for projecting an illusion of Ui? Giovanna does fight a lot more aggressively here than in any other appearance, after all - she wraps the Uwasa up and drills into it with her beak. Meanwhile, in her second appearance, she only attacks an Uwasa with her bandages.

Giovanna’s unwillingness to call for others actually brings up an interesting facet of Iroha’s character: her sacrificial devotion. The reason that Iroha unleashes her Doppel in Episode 5 is because she neglects her own needs in favor of others. She believes that she must be strong on her own to find Ui, a thought reflected by her own Doppel’s words in Episode 7:

“Stronger…If you don’t become strong, you won’t be able to find anything! Cover your ears! Shut those eyes! Silence determines fate!”

When Iroha fails to find Ui within the Uwasa of the Commoner’s Horse, she is filled with despair. Ui was right before her eyes, proving the beliefs that even she may have begun to doubt. Yet, in that same instant she recognizes the Ui she sees is nothing but an illusion the Uwasa projected for her. So close, and yet so far. When Iroha begins to succumb to her despair, she even mentions that it might’ve been from the shock of not seeing Ui.

With all of these feelings, all of this disappointment and despair, who does Iroha use her only Grief Seed on? Yachiyo, of course. At this point in the story, Iroha wants to be friends with Yachiyo, but they are not seen as equals. She is not comfortable enough to open up to Yachiyo about her feelings, and neither is Yachiyo with her own. Yet, Iroha still sacrifices herself to keep Yachiyo from falling to despair. And by staying silent about her own woes, Iroha falls to her despair for the first time, summoning her Doppel.

Let’s keep this topic in mind and focus on something I haven’t addressed before: the Magia Archive artbook! There are some production notes in here that provide insights on the meaning and symbolism behind a Doppel. Unfortunately, I don’t know Japanese, but I did find a translation of Giovanna’s section, courtesy of @greenyvertekins. Here is a small piece from it that I would like to highlight:

“The motif is a bird flute and a saint with a rabbit-like appearance.”

The theme of a “saint” struck me as a little odd, at first. I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to get that idea from her design. But, it did lead me to a unique little find, which is probably a stretch, but maybe kind of cool anyway?

(credit to Silvermoon424 on Reddit for the scan!)

It’s a bit harder to see in the official art, but that crown circling Giovanna’s head – to me, it sort of looks like a crown of thorns. A crown of thorns is a very striking sign of self-sacrifice.

And sure, this is the stretchiest stretch that ever stretched, but those drop-like patterns on Giovanna’s body are red, and kind of look like drops of blood, right? Beads of blood that have also been associated with the crown of thorns, r-right? Right…?

Phew…I’ve been going on for a while, haven’t I? Is this…is this longer than the first one? I don’t even know anymore…Let’s silently wrap this up with one more, fun little stretch on my part.

Both cuckoos and bunnies, which are elements of Giovanna’s design, are symbolically representative of spring. Spring is cherry blossom season in Japan, and the Eternal Sakura Uwasa lives near a cherry blossom tree only said to bloom when Touka, Nemu, Ui and Iroha are united again. At the end of the event Cherry Blossom Dreams, the Eternal Sakura even remarks that “spring can finally begin” because they are all together. So, if you squint really hard, maaaaybe the springtime connections here are representative of Iroha, Touka, Nemu, and Ui’s union under the cherry blossom tree. But probably not. I’m just having some fun.

And, that’s it! That’s all I’ve got for Giovanna! Wow! That sure was something!

I hope you all enjoyed my silly little analysis! I know some of these connections are a bit loose, but I like drawing whatever parallels I can with what understanding I have, haha. It was great to write one of these again and share it with you all!

If you have any of your own thoughts, additions, or corrections, do send them along! I would love to hear other interpretations!