#hesh looking into the camera:

[yooo-lets-go]

Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️

To everybody except Hesh, I guess

[forsworned]

NO PICTURES, PLEASE ft. DAVID 'HESH' WALKER

Author's note: dedicated to all the Hesh fans out there, this is a hard send lol

Warning(s): Fluffy fluff, Slightly Sexually Suggestive, AFAB!Reader

Keegan is having difficulty rifling through the photos on the notably expensive Sony A7R IV that he purchased for you to capture pictures of No Man's Land when he sent you out on a surveying mission. It was imperative to conduct a reconnaissance of the area for environmental assessment purposes. The Sergeant had previously expressed how vital it was to gather data that was relevant for any potential future infrastructure development, disaster response, and management following the ODIN incident. Sounded simple enough. And yet, Keegan is left puzzled by the initial fifty images out of a whooping two hundred and fifty that is starting to show a discernable trend. They're all images of Hesh.

Now, this wouldn't be such an issue if they were the images that he had specifically requested you to take on said mission. But it was practically a full-blown photoshoot of pure pretty boy.

"[Name]." Keegan pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes a deep breath before he continues.

Your lips curve into a charming smile. "Hmm?"

"Can you tell me what is wrong with these photos?" He points the screen of the camera in your direction.

You lower your head to get a good gander of what he was referring to: Hesh standing in perfect golden hour lighting that seldomly peaks over the horizon and paints him a pretty shade of tangerine. He looks ethereal, and your smile only grows.

"Mmm, I think they're perfect. Follows the rule of thirds. See." You point to how Hesh is not perfectly centered.

For a moment, Keegan's eye twitches and he can't decide whether he wants to slap the absolute shit out of you for insubordination or for your sheer lack of regard for what he was asking of you. It is blatantly obvious to him (and the other Ghosts) that you have a raging crush on Hesh, though to be fair Hesh was completely oblivious to it. Nonetheless, it is absolutely infuriating when you choose not to follow orders and, instead do a candid imaging session of your Lieutenant.

"That's—kid," Keegan breathes out. He's weighing out his options. Keegan isn't the type to yell at a woman, but he's almost provoked to do so. He chooses not to engage in a manner that will upset you, so coddling it is.

"Hm?" You peer up at him with cutesy, puppy eyes and fortunately for you, his gaze softens and it's easier not to be so enraged by the situation.

"Ya gotta crush on Hesh or somethin'?"

Your smile falters and you feel the heat sidling to your cheeks and ears when those words fall out of his mouth, and he has to stifle the laughter that's threatening to erupt from his chest.

Your eyes dart to the ground as you awkwardly shift your weight. "Um, what gave you that idea?"

He's studying the way you nervously rub your arm and he almost feels bad for asking.

Another exhale. "Nothin', kid. I was just messin' around is all." He hands you back the camera and gives you a knowing look.

"I'm willing to overlook this if you take this seriously." His voice has a bit of an edge to it. You glance up at him and nod with a pout. "Go round up Hesh and update him on the mission. You'll need another go around."

Your face lights up and you begin to dial up Hesh's number to notify him.

"And one more thing," Keegan calls out to you and you hear Hesh pick up. His voice like the purest heroine, but you have to rip your attention away to listen to your experienced Serg.

"No photoshoots"

You grin and give him a thumbs up as you jovially skip away. In all earnest, you did not hear what he said. You are too enraptured by your crush's voice to listen to what Keegan is yapping about, and part of him is aware of that. So as a precaution, he may or may not have warned Hesh ahead of time about your recon mission to keep you in line.

"No pictures, please!"

Hesh giggles, raising his hand to conceal his face from the camera pointed in his direction.

"Aw, just one! We already wrapped up what we needed to!" You maneuver the lens to capture his dimpled grin that melts your heart. But Hesh is not giving in. He's under strict orders not to permit you to take pictures unrelated to your assigned objective. However, your infectious laugh and the adoring gaze from those pretty eyes of yours are proving to be quite the distraction.

He halts his actions, contemplating whether he should just allow you to have your way. After all, you did complete the necessary task, so maybe one photo wouldn't hurt?

"Alright, just one." He chuckles, giving in to your ridiculous demand. But he's already being prompted to model on the large boulder bolstered against a blossoming weeping willow. The view behind him overlooks a glimmering lake, teeming with wildlife in the afternoon sun.

And Hesh is like a Disney princess. Cottontail rabbits approach him at his ankles and a hummingbird lands on his shoulder as if it's a rest stop. It's a picture-perfect moment as you snap away at his gleaming smile that beautifies his already handsome face. It's taking you all your willpower to not rush at him and shower him with all your affection.

A small huff leaves your lips as you store the camera back in its original weatherproof pouch. You think that it's probably for the best if you both start to head back to base, and notify Keegan of a successful mission to avoid any unnecessary reprimanding. As you zip up the storage bag and absentmindedly make your way toward Hesh who is preoccupied with feeding his leftover trail mix to a black squirrel, your balance seems to waver and you're crashing down face first. Luckily, Hesh secures you in his taut arms, but he's fumbling with his own equilibrium and completely loses his composure, leading you to collapse into the shallow end of the lake in a raucous splash.

The water is quick to sodden your uniforms, and you're pressed up against Hesh's rigid and saturated body. You meet his gaze and he's gawking up at you with flushed cheeks and reaming eyes. You imagine that your expression had a certain likeness.

"I'm so sorry..." Your eyes glaze over his soaking white shirt that's now giving you a pretty good view of his herculean torso. And you honest to God hadn't meant to memorize every delicious carving of his toned midsection, but it was right there.

And Hesh is by no means innocent either. His wandering emerald eyes are just as guilty as yours. Instead of your usual, mundane tactical brassiere, you're sporting a baby blue lacey bra, an oversight that transpired because you were too engrossed in hurrying off to your one-on-one mission with Hesh. And when your dilated gazes meet, your stomachs do a little flip that have you clamoring to get up.

You wordlessly extend your hand to him, and he accepts it without hesitation, responding with a polite yet quiet "thank you." Water trickles down your drenched forms and the silence is deafening. That is until Hesh bursts into a fit of laughter. He's carding his fingers through his dark, moistened locks and shaking with mirth. The type of joy that's contagious as hell, and you have no choice but to join him.

A zephyr sweeps past you and it sends a chill up your spine, and your nipples are poking through your sheen shirt. Hesh is rushing out of the shoal of the lake to grab his (thankfully) dry tactical jacket to envelop your shivering body. It's warm and smells just like him. Spicy vanilla, patchouli, and warm amber waft into your senses. Your breath hitches when you feel the pad of his thumb brush the apple of your cheek, perching the loose strands of hair that cling close to your eye behind your ear.

Your wet lashes flutter up to him and he absently licks his lips. His viridian hues train on you as you shyly conceal your abashed features. He chuckles at your coquettish behavior, caressing your cheek, feeling the peach fuzz stand up straight as gooseberries line your skin.

His body inclines toward you and you feel his heart stammering against your chest, meeting the stuttering pace of your own. His other hand is on the small of your back, pulling you closer as he captures your chin between his fingers and tilts it upwards.

"Viking-Actual, what's your location?"

The cacophony of his radio startles you both, shaking you out of your lovestruck daze. There's a look of annoyance that flashes over his features as he presses and holds the push-to-talk button and speaks:

"This is Viking-Actual, we're wrapping up our current operations and RTB. Over."

There's a brief silence before Merrick's voice is heard again.

"Request location update, not status. Over."

Hesh rolls his eyes so hard that they might just come out of their sockets. Your teeth latch into your lip as your shoulders jostle in hilarity. His expression is priceless, but it quickly shifts into a grin knowing that at the very least he can entertain you.

He sighs before notifying him of your location and it's met with another silence to which Hesh takes that as a sign to continue what he was doing before he was interrupted. But the moment that your lips almost graze, the static of the radio returns and he can't help but snicker at the ridiculous timing.

"Copy that. RTB ASAP. Over."

You're giggling under the propped-up collar of his jacket and it's starting to redden the blush on his cheeks. He's getting trepidatious at this point. The tension feels palpable and he's almost deterred from kissing you now.

But like the goddamn soldier he is, he pushes through and he's leaning in once more. Not even the stupid clatter of the radio can stop his lips from finally meeting yours. It's a gentle kiss. Soft, pillowy flesh that presses sweetly against your own and your body is warming up, relishing in his natural musk and the toastiness emanating from his body.

Your arms curl around his dampened waist as you breathe one another in. It's electrifying feeling him against you like this and there's a pyre that's slowly burning down below, but he withdraws too soon. The corners of your mouth draw out into giddy smiles. It's a gratifying feeling. Reciprocation.

"Should probably get back to base soon." He studies how you tuck your lips in, swiping at them with your tongue in an overly elated manner that causes him to giggle again.

"Uh huh." Is all you can muster up and it incites another round of glee. And Hesh can't help himself from cupping your cheeks and bringing you into another kiss. Your heart is soaring as your lips collide and you easily find a rhythm that makes you feel like your bodies are melding together.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, another pair of idiots lurk in a set of tall shrubs about 50 meters out, snooping on your little makeout sesh.

"You think they can see us from here?" Merrick asks his quiet Serg, as he peers through his binoculars.

"Nah." Keegan replies, popping a piece of granola into his mouth and sets his optics down. He pats his counterpart on the shoulder. "Let's head back."

Merrick raises a brow at him. "You don't wanna tell 'em to come back?"

Keegan smiles as he packs his things and slings his sniper over his shoulder. "Let 'em be. We can give 'em hell for it later."

And just that sentence alone thrills the Captain as they tread back to base leaving the nescient, impassioned couple behind. Never a boring day back in the Ghosts HQ.

mini heshhivemind tag list: @keegansshark @milkteaarttime @soapsgf @blacktacmopsi @howtotwirlaknife22 @kun3ho141

the end , that's me after writing this^

[aoioozora]

The Ghosts Comfort You

Part 2: Logan Walker

Part 1: Thomas Merrick Part 3: Keegan P. Russ Part 4: David 'Hesh' Walker

How would Logan comfort you if you cried, I wonder.

I imagine him to be a bit on the goofier side (being a younger sibling and all) so he'd definitely try to make you laugh

He comes to your room to ask you something but when he sees you laying on your side on the bed, facing away from the door all curled up crying into your pillow, his eyes widen for a split second. He stands there, mouth opening and closing slightly, unsure of what to say or do.

When he regains himself, he approaches the bed and puts a hand on your shoulder and shakes you gently. "Hey, you okay? Why're you crying?" he asks.

"It's nothing," you sob, stuffing your face further into your pillow.

"Clearly not," he sits down at the edge of the bed next to you as he continues to shake your shoulder, "C'mon, what's the matter?"

"Leave me alone!" comes your muffled exclamation.

He frowns and pulls his hand away, but remains seated where he is. "You know I can't do that..." he says softly, voice trailing off. He watches your shoulder tremble and sighs, pondering to himself in silence.

He pulls out his phone and then shakes your shoulder a little more vigorously this time. "Hey, watch this," he instructs, holding the phone over your shoulder and in front of your face so you wouldn't have to sit up.

The video shows a man eating a banana on a moving boat. The said man finishes the banana and throws it into the water behind him. The camera then pans to the water behind the man, where another man who is wakesurfing slips and falls into the water.

A giggle erupts from you and you stuff your face into your damp pillow, your body trembling as your laughter fills the room. Logan's eyes twinkle happily at the sight.

"It's funny, isn't it?" he asks, also laughing with you.

Your laughter dies down to soft giggles as you turn around to look at him, smiling a little. He beams, returning your tiny smile with a wider one.

"You look so cute when you smile," he says, wiping the tears from your eyes with the pad of his thumb, loving the feeling of your eyelashes against his skin.

Your glossy eyes soften at his sweet gesture. "Thanks," you sigh, smiling a hint wider than before.

Something inside him snaps when your genuine smile widens. He pounces on you, wrapping his arms around your waist and tackles you in bed. You squeal in surprise, and before you can register what is going on, he starts attacking you with kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulder, making you giggle hysterically from how ticklish it is.

"You're so," he kisses your forehead, "fucking," he kisses your right cheek, "precious," he kisses your left cheek, "when you," he finally kisses your lips, "smile." He then ends it with a bear hug, squeezing you against his chest.

You hug him back, already forgetting why you were even sad in the first place.

Read Part 3: Keegan P. Russ

Masterlist

[milkteaarttime]

First Meet(pt. 2)

Thanks for the positive words on my last fic!!! Here's the part 2!

3.1k words, soo much dialogue... Please be nice to my cringy fic lol

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When Logan saw Latte’s form emerge from behind Merrick’s brick wall of a body, he knew that he had met her at the hospital back in January. She was the nurse who treated Hesh when he came out of a procedure for a rather nasty combat injury. He watched as Latte’s gaze swept across the room and abruptly stopped on Hesh. He shifted his eyes back to Hesh, attempting to discern whether Hesh himself remembered her or not. Hesh’s eyebrows raised in confusion, his eyes locked on Latte, but there were no signs of recognition.

Latte breaks off her eye contact first as she has to introduce herself. Logan laughed, realizing that Hesh didn’t remember her and, by extension, the hilarious events of him coming off the anesthesia from his procedure. 

The brothers observed from a distance as she set up her little station on the lone table across the room. She takes out Blood pressure cuffs, a pulse oximeter, and some other equipment that they don't care much for the name of. Elias calls for a volunteer, and Merrick decides to go first and “get this shit over with.”  

Logan takes this moment to nudge Hesh on the arm. Hesh looks back over at him.

“Hmm? What's up?” 

“You remember her?” He questioned, tilting his head towards where Latte was seated.

“The nurse?” Hesh asked, confused. 

“Yeah, Latte.” He chuckled. 

“Don't think so, Logan. I’d remember if someone with a name like Latte ever spoke to me.” Hesh confirmed he wouldn’t forget someone with such a unique name, and now that he is thinking about it, he wonders if it's a nickname.

“You really don’t remember her, huh? I don’t blame you. You were pretty out of it from the pain at the time and on pretty heavy drugs.” He recalls, snickering at the memories,

“Good thing Dad didn’t see you goofy on those meds, reaaal embarrassing.” 

“Logan…what, what did I do?”

”Heh Heh.”

”Logan, come on, spit it out.” Hesh said, growing more concerned. Upon seeing his brother get antsy, Logan relented.

“….I think it's better if you see for yourself.” Logan pulls out his phone, pulls up a video after a moment of scrolling, and puts in one earbud, handing the other to Hesh. Hesh eyed Logan wearily, knowing how mischievous Logan could get, before taking the earbud and putting it in. Logan hits play on the video.

In the video, Hesh is lying in a hospital bed. A cacophony of machine beeps and the whirling of air vents can be heard in the background. The camera pans from Hesh’s face to his hand, and his hand is gripping onto the wrist of someone standing by his bed. 

“This is crazy… sorry, miss. He has never acted like this before.” Logan’s voice comes up, apologetic and baffled in tone. 

“Come on, David, let go of the nurse. She has a job to do!” 

“NOoooo, I wanna hold hands…give me yur hannd” Hesh slurred and moved his hand from her wrist to her hand, holding tight. 

“I-it’s okay. People say or do strange things because of the anesthesia all the time.” 

A feminine voice said. The video pans toward the nurse’s head, the voice belonging to Latte. 

The very nurse who was here to assess their health. Hesh’s eyes widened. 

“Logan, what—“

”Shhh, keep watching.” 

“I have to take your vitals, sir. Mind if I hold your hand after?” Latte, in the video, attempted to negotiate with Hesh.

”MMm nO, youu are holding my hand wrong. Hold it like this.” The drugged-up Hesh proceeds to intertwine and lace his fingers with Latte’s. 

Hesh’s face began to burn a bright red as he continued watching the recording. The only words in his mind he could conjure up were ‘HOW?’ and ‘WHAT?’

”Hesh no!” Logan’s desperate voice calls out. The camera shakes as he stands up to walk over and help pry Hesh’s hand off poor Latte. 

“LATTE THERE YOU ARE.” Latte’s manager’s voice can be heard off-screen. 

“Room 12 is asking for his water and painkillers, Room 11, bed 4, is upset because you said you’d get him a blanket, but he hasn’t seen one in hours, and Room 13’s family is looking for you again. You have to Speed it up!” The camera pans to Logan’s face, his concern and awkwardness concealed by his mask, before panning back to Hesh and Latte. 

“Sorry, Lauren, I will be out in a moment. I just need t—“ 

“I don’t care! We.Are.Short.Staffed. And no one is working fast enough. Now call bells are ringing up and down the damn unit. Either you little nurses in your pretty little scrubs are ignoring these poor people, or you are not hauling ass enough. Get —“ 

”LAUREN SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Latte’s voice is sudden, sharp, and loud. The room is silent except for Hesh’s incoherent babbles and machine beeping. The manager managed to let out a few stutters before Latte spoke again. 

“Since you are short-staffed and desperate, how about you convince me to stay here? After all, you NEED me to pick up shifts. You NEED me to keep working here so you are not even more short-staffed. Every day you blow up my phone when someone else calls out with bullshit reasons! Nurses get snatched up everywhere, so why don't you convince me to stay?” If looks could kill, Latte would have ODIN-ed Lauren into smithereens. 

“…I will go answer the call bells and talk with room 13’s family…” was all the manager could say after a pause. The recording cuts off there. 

“Soooo, that was it. You remember now, Hesh?” Logan chuckled, and he glanced back at Hesh. 

“… Hesh?”

Hesh’s current state of mind is the personification of the word ‘Mortified.’ His face was a deep crimson, eyes wide in disbelief, and Jaw still dropped. Frozen in his seat, it was as if his soul waltzed out of the room, went to buy milk, and never returned. His mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, but no sound comes out. Logan can see the tips of his ears burning red. When Hesh finally was able to move, he slapped both of his hands over his face and groaned into his hands.

On Latte's end, she had just finished taking Merrick’s vitals and assessments and now moved on to questioning Merrick. 

“Following the MRE consumption, did you experience any vomiting?”

”Yes.” Merrick answered. “I think most of us did.” 

“That doesn’t sound fun. How long did the vomiting and nausea persist?”

“I was okay after the 4th or 5th day.”

“I see. How about bowel movements? Did you experience GI symptoms such as intense stomach pain and or diarr—“

”No—No, none of that! Just the vomiting and nausea.” Merrick answered quickly,

“Could you have asked me that any louder?” 

“My apologies, captain,” Latte politely responded to Merrick’s grumbling, ignoring his attitude change. She understood Merrick did not want to drag this on for too long or expose his bowel habits to everyone. 

“I recommend that you increase your intake of electrolytes and replenish lost fluids. Dehydration from all the vomiting may also be a reason for your slight blood pressure elevation. Thank you for your time, Captain Merrick." Latte quickly jotted down some notes of her treatment recommendations. 

After Hesh recovered a little from his shock, he weakly looked at Logan, ”Oh god… I can't believe it. I just— what do I even say to her when it's my turn?? Do I apologi—” Just as Hesh was trying to calm himself and ask for Logan’s advice. Elias's voice interrupted him. 

“Hesh! You go next.” 

The colour drains out of Hesh’s face, and seeing his brother’s crisis, Logan placed a hand over his mouth, trying to muffle the snort of laughter escaping. Hesh darts a glare towards Logan. But Elias's voice came again before he could demand Logan to stop laughing. 

“Hesh?”

“Y-yea, right away, dad.”

“Don’t scare the pretty nurse this time!” Logan whisper-yelled at him. Hesh rolls his eyes at his brother before walking over to the table where Latte is. Latte opens a new page on her notepad and looks up to Hesh as he gets closer. ‘Mutton chops, mutton chops, buzz cut…where have I—‘

She suddenly remembered him, letting out the tiniest gasp. ‘The hand-holding guy!!!' she yelled in her head. She smiled warmly beneath her mask and greeted Hesh as he sat beside her. Latte is always fond of seeing familiar faces, especially previous patients. 

“Lieutenant David Walker, correct? Your brother called you David during your stay with us at the start of the year. I remember you! How have you and Logan been?” She beamed at Hesh, eager to chat a little.  

“Oh gosh, I uh—been great, Logan too. I’m sorry about that whole thing. My brother showed me the recording, and I have no idea why I was so determined to hold your hand.” Hesh said, sheepishly rubbing his buzzed head. 

Latte laughed a little at his flustered state, shaking her head a little. 

“It's fine, Lieutenant.”

“Please, Hesh or David is fine.” 

“Hesh, it is then. It's totally okay that you reacted that way! Plenty of people do silly things coming off of the drug. It's a common side effect.” She smiled warmly under her surgical mask, eyes squinting. 

“Can you please put your finger in here? And do you have a preference for which arm to use for blood pressure?” Latte opens the oximeter for Hesh. Hesh inserts his index finger in the pulse oximeter, and shakes his head no at her question.

“Whichever is easier for you.” He replied, watching her palpate his arm for his artery. As she felt along his muscular arm, He felt his stomach flutter, and his face heated up a little at the proximity. Hesh studies Latte’s face as she works on getting the BP cuff sorted out. Hesh notes a scar peeking out from under her chin where her mask didn’t cover her that trailed down towards the back of her neck. Shiny layered black hair and nicely shaped eyebrows, a notch in her left ear, a mole under her upturned eyes that squints when she smiles—

“—esh, Hesh? Can I use your left arm?” Latte’s voice startles him back to reality. Realizing he had been staring directly at her, he immediately breaks eye contact. Hoping she didn’t notice him staring. 

”Y-YEah, sure thing.” Hesh clears his throat and tilts his left arm towards her, his voice cracking slightly. He turned his head to where Logan was, and of course, Logan had a shit-eating grin and made a hand-holding gesture by dramatically raising his hands in front of himself and slowly lacing his fingers together. A blatant attempt at mocking him. He shot a glare at Logan, mouthing a ‘fuck you,’ earning a middle finger back from Logan. The brothers only stopped when Elias cleared his throat and gave them both a questioning stare. At the same time, Latte rolled his T-shirt sleeve up and tried her damn hardest not to drool over Hesh’s well-toned bicep.

The sensation of the BP cuff inflating brought Hesh’s attention back to Latte. She slid the bell of her stethoscope over his brachial artery, skillfully pumping the BP cuff up to 150 on the gauge and letting it drop. She listened intensely and watched as the needle of the BP gauge ticked down. In less than 30 seconds, she managed to get a reading of his blood pressure. She removed the BP cuff and pulse oximeter and reached for a temporal scanner. She quickly scanned Hesh’s forehead before jotting down all his vital findings.

“Just a few more things. I Need to listen to your chest and stomach.” She puts on her stethoscope and waits for Hesh to lift his shirt. 

“Sure.” He sat there waiting for her to do what she needed. Latte looked at him expectantly. He looked back, confused, wondering why she was stalling suddenly.

“Oh, sorry! I forgot to mention that I’ll need you to lift your shirt.” 

“Oh! Right, yeah.” 

He pulls his shirt up, and Latte leans to place the scope on his chest. But Hesh flinches at the cool metal and accidentally elbows her under her chin. She lets out a small ‘eep!’ of surprise while he rushes to apologize.

“Sorry! Are you hurt?!”

“Sorry! The scope is a bit cold.” They apologized to each other at the same time.

“Wait why are you sorry? I bumped into you.”

“…I’m Canadian.” 

The two sat in a moment of awkward silence. Hesh has never been this flustered around a person before. He is sure that if he turned his head back, Logan would be there trying to hold back his laugh. He just prayed that his father didn’t witness his idiocy. On the other hand, Latte was kicking herself internally for saying ‘I’m Canadian’ like a goofball instead of offering a proper response. She placed the stethoscope bell in her hand and warmed it up.

“… Are you ready to be auscultated now? It should be less cold this time.” 

“Uh, sure, yeah.” 

She leaned in again and gently placed the bell on his pec. She moved in a ladder position down his chest and to his sides. She then moved to his stomach, listening for sounds in all four quadrants. From the outside, she was calm, but as she continued to assess him, she suddenly realized something: He had a really well-built body. This sudden realization sent her reeling. She has seen countless soldiers and inspected countless other athletic bodies, but this is the first time her heart has jumped like this. 

‘NO! THAT'S YOUR PATIENT STOP!!!’ The rational portion of her mind screeched. 

‘But… he’s hot…” The less rational part countered. Latte chose to redirect her mind to the sound of Heshed breathing instead of her inner dialogue.  

“Lung sounds are clear, heartbeat is good, active bowel sounds in all four quadrants…” Latte mumbles her findings. She was attempting to distract herself.

“Does it hurt when I press on your stomach?” She palpated his belly with the flat of her hand, feeling her heart leap into her throat as his muscles twitched under her touch. 

‘This is just a routine assessment. This is just a routine assessment. This is just a routine—‘ Latte chanted repeatedly in her head as her hands touched across his abs. Hesh shakes his head no. 

“Good. I have just a few questions left, and that's about it. What symptoms did you experience last week?” 

Hesh pauses to ponder momentarily. “stomach pain…and maybe headaches? Not anymore, though.” 

“Okay, any other GI symptoms? Things like dia-” 

“No! Uh, I mean, there's none.” Hesh frantically responds before Latte can finish her question but realizes he may have appeared rude. He lets out an awkward laugh.  

“That's good. Your baseline is fine. Just make sure you hydrate and monitor for any more symptoms. You are free to grab someone else for the assessment.” Latte beams at him before wiping down her equipment in preparation for the next person’s turn. 

“Thanks, Latte.” Hesh flashed her a crooked smile, and Latte felt her stomach do another small flip at his smile. She quickly dismissed the feeling, opting to remain professional, and sent him off with a small ‘No worries!’. He got up and returned to his seat. 

“You sure took your time. And your ears are reddd~” Logan’s taunting voice confirmed Hesh’s suspicion that he was observing Latte and Hesh’s interaction throughout the assessment. 

“Shut up and go, it's your turn, Logan.” Hesh took out his beanie and tugged it over his ears before putting his arms on each other and laying face down into them, ignoring the strange looks from his teammates. 

“So, Logan, is it? Nice to see you and your brother again. I just need you to—“

”Are you single?” 

“I...I am, but why are you asking?” Latte managed to squeak out, shocked at his directness. 

”No reason; I'm just curious since you asked lotsa questions about us, so it's fair, no?” Logan grinned knowingly.

After a short while, Logan returned to his seat, and Keegan went up for his turn. He nudges Hesh again, and Hesh peeks at Logan with a half-glare.

“What now?”

”She's single.” 

“What? How did you—“

”I asked, and she said she is. Go for it.” Logan gave Hesh a grin. 

****************

After everyone had been assessed, Latte packed up her bag. Hesh watched as she spoke a little with Elias. Elias thanked her for coming up to the base, and Latte waved her hands and told him it was no big deal. She pulls out a printed piece of paper with information on the location of her hospital and contact details for her unit in case there are any questions. Before she could step out, Hesh mustered up the courage and walked up to her, offering to walk her back out of the base. 

The pair silently strolled through the base and stopped just outside the gate, out of earshot of the soldiers guarding it. Hesh stood with his hands in his pockets, and Latte fidgeted with her bag strap. She was about to say goodbye to Hesh when he suddenly spoke up.

“So…Latte, is that a nickname?”

”No, haha. It's actually my English name. My mom saw it on a café poster.”

“What's your actual name? If you don't mind me asking, that is.”

”Mmhmm, I don’t mind, it’s Chinese, spelled S-H-U-X-I-N. Kinda hard to say to non-Chinese speakers, so I just go by La—”

”Shu..Xin? Is... that right?” 

Latte froze. She looked straight at him in surprise. He said it right. HE SAID IT RIGHT.

“Ye-yeah, that's the right way to say it!!” She almost cheered.

Hesh flashed her a big grin before looking a little nervous. He took a big breath, “Say… Latte, I still feel terrible about what happened that day. I mean, I know I was not in control of my actions ‘cause of the meds. But you nearly lost your job, and I need to make it up to you somehow… Are you free this weekend?” Hesh held his breath, staring at Latte and waiting for her answer, 

“Are you... asking me out?” Latte’s bewildered expression jumps out before she can control her face.

“It's okay if you don’t—”

“No! No, I am free. I will make sure I am!” 

Hesh lets out an enormous sigh of relief, suddenly really thankful for having a brother like Logan in his life. 

“It's a date, then!” he exclaimed. He grabbed his phone and exchanged contacts with Latte. The pair said their goodbyes before Hesh returned, almost skipping into the base like an excited teenager again, leaving the gate guards confused. 

***********************

“What did she say?”

”She said yes!”

”You owe me one Hesh.”

[thatonesillyducko]

A 'friendly' chess competition

Hesh: "I have something to show you guys. I found a rosewood chessboard in the storage room. Anyone up for a game?" Ajax: "Yes, Keegan and I are going to play together in the first round." (BROTHERS IN HOORAH) "Let's see what you've got, K" Keegan: He simply rolled his eyes and agreed to play with him. Jemíma: However, Jemíma stopped Ajax before he could leave. "Déjalo ganar" (let him win) She softly murmured, but all he did was look at her with disappointment.

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Jemíma: "Ajax is an excellent player but Keegan is a grumpy loser, he moves, makes the faces, slams the door then he said he didn't slam the door" "...It's better that he wins" (Looking after this mf)

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

After the game...

Keegan: "JEMÍMA!" Jemíma: "Qué…" Keegan: "He hustled me in chess!" Jemíma: She sighed, turning to Ajax "I thought you promised you were going to let him win" Ajax: "SAY WHAT?" Keegan: "Wait a minute-- You're in on it too?!" Ajax: "I think it's time for me to leave; I need to get something done quickly!" He left, didn't bother them because he knew what went down between them, lol. Keegan: "Why would you tell him to lose to me?" Jemíma: "Because you're like a baby when you don't win. With the kicking, the intense creepy eyes and the angry eating of sunflower seeds like a squirrel" She even demonstrated how he ate, mimicking a squirrel's movements. (HELP, she's so real for this) Keegan: "Actually, that's not true. I don't mind losing to a chess genius which Ajax obviously is" (Let's see if you make a tantrum in further rounds) Jemíma: "Just genius, he's not even as good as I am" Keegan: "I'm not good at chess either! I beat you on our date" Jemíma: "Or did I let YOU WIN?" Keegan: "You didn't LET ME WIN" Jemíma: "Why would I sacrifice my Queen for your Ponjay? huh HUH" "HUH?" Keegan: "Stop saying like that--" Jemíma: "HUUHH?"

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Later...

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Jemíma: "Look at this!" She giggled and played a game of chess with Keegan, moving her piece around crossed and taking his black piece. Keegan: "Easy, you can't sing we're the champions without YOUR QUEEN" Jemíma: "DAMMIT, Listen I lose and I BURN THIS BASE DOWN" (wtf, you commit arson after you lose? Elias will get your ass) "Ah but look at this--" Keegan: Then, before she could continue playing the game, he grabbed her wrist. "Darling, what are we doing? This is ridiculous. One of us is gonna win and other's gonna feel lousy and we both lose" After that, Jemíma pushed the chess pieces off the board with a tongue click. They then gave eachother a kiss on the lips (IS THAT HOW YOU END THE GAME?) Henry: Henry was just strolling by with a glass of wine, giving the two a sidelong glance before grinning at the imaginary camera.

The end :D bye

[ms-unfortunate24]

Is that all you got? (Pt.5 Survival to the…Just survive!!)

Warnings: Slight Angst and cursing

Reader Inserts: Y/N= Your name, Y/L= Your last name, Y/CN= your code name, Y/H= your hair, Y/HC= your hair color, E/C= Eye color, H/S= Hair Style, N/N= Nickname.

Prompt: Keegan isn’t very talkative nor is he known, he’s a ghost literally.. He has his eyes on someone specific that he’s sure doesn’t notice him but what if they do? (The reader is Kick’s partner)

You and Keegan finally met up with the rest of the team who were terribly injured. You noticed Elias wasn't, hoping that this isn't what you're thinking and that maybe he was relocated and captured you decided now wouldn't be the best time to ask what had happened. Suddenly Merrick falls to the ground, his wound plaguing his body with pain. "We gotta hide now!" Keegan says, as Hesh picks up Merrick and carries him into an office room, where you, Logan, and Keegan quickly follow into. You noticed the radio that Logan has is beaming with noise that could get you all caught. "Turn the radio down," you said in a harsh whisper, Merrick then shushes everyone as the Federation soldiers near into your current position.

One of the soldiers was instructed to check the office room, your heart stopped as your mind was rushing on what to do, this was unusual for you. As your mind was racing Keegan lunges out of the shadows, silently taking the soldier down before he could do any callouts to his team. As the enemy leaves without checking for their missing teammate, you all leave towards a mall looking area (tbh I haven’t really paid attention to where we were located in this scene..)

“Attention everyone.” A sudden voice appears on the intercom, it was Rorke. “Some friends of mine have gone missing, Return them to me dead or alive, and you will have done your country a great service,” he says, as you look around for the intercoms, “Merrick, Hesh, Logan, if you’re listening… good luck” Just then you had set your DDOS system in the perfect spot, knocking down the camera feed and the intercom’s reach. Merrick scoffs at the last comment Rorke had made “Thanks for the shout out asshole” He says as you jog up to him and give him a hand. “Thanks Y/CN,” He whispers, you flash a small smile before your feelings get all swelled up, what if they don’t make it…?

You turned to get back into position when you saw the masked man looking at you, “… what?” you questioned the man with the void-like eyes that seemed to be burning holes into your skin. “ ‘hErE you gO, ThAnkssss I oweee yA” Keegan surprisingly mocked, your mouth shot wide open when you heard this idiot. “We are literally in the MIDDLE OF BATTLE?!” You shouted. (I’m so convinced that Keegan is actually really childish when he’s jealous… like cmon it’s so cannon)

Keegan then shrugged as if nothing had happened and went back to work, you decided to do the same. Still kind of checked out by his actions your shooting became a little sloppy. Logan decided to push the enemies from the right side while you covered the middle, Keegan went for the left side. Not too long after the enemies were dead, everyone started to head toward the outside. Keegan wasn't too far behind you, is what you thought, you turned to check on far he was when he suddenly got stabbed in the arm. Your eyes widened as you bolted toward him and the enemy that managed to play dead and get away with it. Keegan fell to the ground as the enemy raised his knife up to do a final blow, you tackled the enemy and immediately threw punches, something inside of you didn't let you stop after the first punches, soon blood was all over your hands and he was no longer moving. As soon as you snapped out of it you rushed toward Keegan, he had already bandaged his wound. He was stabbed in the arm… so he just fell over because he was knocked over, a literal wave of relief and embarrassment hit you. “How did you even let yourself get knocked over like that? That was just sad.” You said, fixing his loose bandaging. “You’re really gonna say this right now like I didn’t just get stabbed…?” He questioned looking at you as you rolled your eyes.

[just-another-mess-in-a-dress]

Drabble #1

YOI Snz Post #4:

This one came out of nowhere and became my whole life for a few weeks. I just love them you guys, I just LOVE THEM A LOT!!

A 4+1 things style drabble/fic in the form of Viktor snz… because, and I will reiterate, fetish!Yuuri is the best goddamn thing to have ever happened. Also I headcannon that this is how Viktor finds out about Yuuri’s fetish bye.

Meet and Greet 1

The first is a quick video, shoddy at best from a fan account that has long since been abandoned… most likely. Viktor is as stunningly beautiful as ever before, his long hair tied back as he flashes that charming smile at his hoard of fans. He’s signing a few photos and random objects thrust his way.

Then he pauses, his hand still outstretched for the next item as he shakes his head. It looks like he tries to reach for it again but cannot break whatever spell possesses him.

He turns his whole body away from the crowd of fans and a soft pair of sneezes can just barely be heard.

“hesh-HETche!”

“Bless you!” The crowd responds as he turns back toward them.

“Thank you.” Viktor’s bright smile returns as he places a hand over his heart. He says something to the fan in front of him that the audio does not pick up. The video ends with the group laughing at whatever is said and Yuuri has spent years wondering what it was that got such a response.

 Interview 2

The second is a much better quality video, one of the last interviews in which Viktor had his gorgeous long locks tied back in an intricate braid. His posture was impeccable and his bright blue eyes seemed to sparkle as the interviewer retells a tale of Viktor’s success.

Yakov beside him is giving a cordial answer to the next question as Viktor’s gaze suddenly becomes distant. It’s a subtle difference, his eyes mist over and his mouth parts just the slightest bit. He blinks slowly, once, twice, then he sniffs subtly.

He gives a breathy chuckle when the interviewer makes a joke, Yakov makes another comment and Viktor’s breath jitters a bit in his chest.

“And Viktor, how do you feel moving into this next stage of competition season?” The interviewers asks brightly.

Viktor doesn’t respond at first, seemingly at a loss for words. Then he gives a stuttering, breathless, “Ho-holdon.”

In one swift motion he’s turned away from the Yakov and towards the camera where he releases two perfectly muffled sneezes into his elbow.

"Heh’MPFT! Mmmft!”

“Bless you!”

Viktor shakes his head a little before releasing one final sneeze, “Uh’Peschumff!”

“Bless you.” The interviewer chuckles, “Got anymore in there?”

“Not yet.” Viktor chuckles sniffling as he re-enters the world, “Excuse me… What was the question?”

 Podium 3

He’s just won his third consecutive world championship title and he’s so lovely on that podium. With his elaborate costume and his perfect smile. The Russian national anthem plays under the sounds of commentators talking about the incredible feat of this win, Viktor looks as proud as ever with a hand over his heart.

The camera pans back up to the flag before returning to his face. In that time, his smile has faltered and his eyes have glazed over. He isn’t mouthing the words of the anthem, he rarely does, but this time his mouth hangs open. Almost as if he’s surprised. There’s one last flash over to the flag for the conclusion of the anthem before the attention is back on Viktor.

He has his head tilted back and a hand hovering over his face that he has to snap into not a second later. The camera captures all three sneezes, unfortunately without sound.

Chris, the silver medalist, reaches up to put a hand on Viktor’s back. The commentators on the video laugh and give their blessings to each sneeze. The competitors come together for their photo op and one of the reporters says something that sticks with Yuuri to this day:

“Well, guess he isn’t a god after all if he still sneezes.” They laugh.

Yuuri isn’t certain one person has ever been more wrong…

 Instagram Story 4

It’s a different kind of video than the others, but only just slightly. Viktor is on a walk with Makka, his smile as charming as ever as he directly addresses his fans. The day seems bitterly cold, his visible breath hangs in the video, and the bright morning sun makes his skin glow.

The video itself is for a sponsorship, some airline that must have spent thousands of dollars to have Viktor speak about them.

“So if you have any suggestions of where I should go comment on my most recent post! Thanks again!”

Viktor smiles and waves at the camera as the next slide pops up. There’s text splayed across the top: BLOOPERS! The first part of the clip has Viktor tripping over Makka as she barks at another dog. Viktor gives a rumbling laugh that still sets Yuuri’s heart on fire.

“Yes, you’re a very good girl.” Viktor leans down and hugs Makka, giving her a perfect opportunity to lick his cheeks.

The slide changes then to him standing fully upright reciting a line from the advert when his brows crease together.

“And I want to know what y-you-HISHEW!” He sneezes completely uncovered onto the camera, the spray mixes together with the cloud of his breath.

“Oh no…” He gasps for breath twice, pulling his scarf up over his nose as he crumples into the next two sneezes, “Nn’gshh! I’gmfft!”

“Oh goodness, excuse me!” Viktor sniffles at the camera, “I think the cold is getting to me.”

He blots his nose with the scarf before righting himself. The video ends with Viktor looking at the scarf and laughing.

 The One He Didn’t Put There

Yuuri has, on occasion, been known to save videos to a secret folder on his phone. Maybe it’s weird and maybe it’s even weirder the lengths he goes to in order to hide his desires but he didn’t ask to be psycho-analyzed. In any case, it’s not like he’s even hiding it that hard, it’s in a folder tucked away in an obscure app so it’s not like he’ll even get found out.

So, when he goes to watch them for the first time in a few months (because having the real thing right in front of him was more than enough) he’s a little confused to see the number five next to the folder. He doesn’t remember saving a fifth video… and he can’t think of a time recently when Viktor’s sneezed that was recorded.

He’s been packing to leave for Saint Petersburg all day, his fiancé is halfway across the world already and he’d just wanted to unwind a little. But when he opens the folder to inspect the newest clip, his heart nearly gives out.

Viktor’s got a smirk on his face as the video starts, the knuckle of his index finger lazily rubs the underside of his nose.

“Hmm… I think you have something to tell me Yuuri. I am your coach and fiancé after all! I should know everything about you.” He grins at the camera and sniffs deeply as he drops his finger.

His eyes go blank as his nose twitches, “Oh… I… I need to-… Heh… Heh-HE’EPTESCHOO! Eschtuh!... there’s… there’s o-one more… Eh’PCHOO! Oh wow.”

Viktor wipes his upper lip with a single finger, “Mhm… Anyway, we should talk about your little secret my love. You may be surprised at how understanding… and accommodating I can be.”

Viktor winks at the camera before the video ends and Yuuri is pretty sure his soul has vacated this earthly plane of existence. Three things become abundantly clear then:

1)    Viktor Nikiforov is not as dumb as everyone thinks

2)    Yuuri has to password lock every piece of tech he owns

3)    He has, without a doubt, the best fiancé on earth.

All of this (and the wicked boner he’s popped from that video holy shit) to say, that Yuuri Katsuki is anxious to get to Russia. Seems that this new life he’s about to embark on has a little more in store for him than he originally thought.

[maxisanangrywell]

AZRAEL'S WING {Intro}

Obligatory Trigger Warnings: Blood, Gore, Horror, Body Horror. Semi-Inaccurate Medical Information. Murder. Suicide. Cannibalism. Violence. Loss/Grief. PTSD/Trauma. Food Insecurity. Emotional Distress. Mental Health Struggles. Social Isolation. Political Oppression. Attempted Genocide. Disruption of Normalcy. Child Labor. I mean, the list can go on, this is what I imagine would happen if the government basically turned against it's citizens and tried to kill them all, but failed and now people are trapped due to rampant viruses and disease.

If any of the above makes you even slightly uncomfortable, then this series is NOT for you. This is a DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. For that reason, if you're a minor, please do not read this series. THIS IS PURELY FICTION, ANY LIKENESS TO ANY REAL WORLD EVENTS IS ACCIDENTAL.

Linked below is a document purely made for this Tumblr series. It's for people to be able to go back and reference it, and learn a little about the world the characters have found themselves in. This is all original lore I have written for a novel I have scrapped, so I hope you all enjoy.

Life flickers across the screen, a young man is sitting in a room with three men sleeping behind him. His hair is shaggy, and a dark charcoal color. His eyes, unlike his appearance, are bright and filled with the smallest spark of hope. The boy couldn't have been more than 19. His green eyes look over the camera he was using for the recording, his hands are held out, soft palms turned calloused, as if it was to catch the camera if it fell. "Okay, I think... I think it's working." He sighs, and sits backwards slowly, putting his hands in his lap as he looks at the camera, his eyes glazing over in thought. This was obviously poorly planned. "I am Hesh Walker, and I am apart of the Seraphims of Xalar. This is a video to the world. We're alive. The government, they turned against us. They're denying us food, water, shelter, medicine... the list can go on." Hesh takes a deep breath, breath hitching on a choked sob. The video gets cut as he reaches forwards, frantically grabbing the camera. The next video, is a video of a forest. Hesh sitting on a stump of a chopped tree as he looks into the camera. "Okay, take two. I am David Walker, son of Elias Walker, the Scarecrow." He seems more confident, takes a slower inhale than before. "I am a leader within a group of survivors of the Collapse. We're being led by a man by the name of Ghost." He lets out a soft laughter. "Ironic, really..." He mutters under his breath. "We are a group of survivors well within the hundreds. We have women, men and children. We require immediate extraction. The government has turned their backs against their people." Hesh looks down, wringing his hands in a subtle display of discomfort and even nervousness. "I don't want to die here." The final video, is a masked man with Hesh's eyes looking at the camera. He's sitting at a table in front of a window, the sun must have been setting, because it was getting darker outside, but the sky was still holding on a semblance of light. Dark storm clouds were in the distance, as the man sat in the chair. His emotions were unreadable from the mask, but the way his arm laid haphazardly on the table, his legs spread in a way to take up too much space, the man was more than comfortable where he was. With who he was. Smoke bellows out from the mask. He must have taken a drag of a cigarette before this. "This is Michael, a Seraphim Leader of Xalar." The man starts, leaning forwards, his arms coming to rest on his knees, hands clasped together. "This is a message to the world. The United States have fallen. Dust and rubble is what remains. Xalar, is all what remains on the East Coast. We have set up a farm, and partially rebuilt an entire city while you all have done nothing. You all watched the lights go out and the people go silent, and have not even bothered to send any sort of transmission to ask what has happened." The man scoffs incredulously, shaking his head in what seems to be disbelieving anger. "Some of the very best PMC and military personnel have been trapped in this special slice of hell, waiting for someone to come extract us and the civilians we have been protecting. It has become clear to us that the rest of you will not be coming for us." The man leans forwards, his eyes narrowing, voice dropping to a dangerous tone full of promise. "So when we rise from the ashes, don't bother asking help from us. This is my official resignation from the Special Operatives team called The Ghosts. Michael, over and out."

[tokillamockingbird427]

Split Ghost Au Funny Time

Split Ghosts: An AU for our spooky boys where the boy band breaks up at the end of the Fed/US war because they can't cope with both failing to protect and failing to find/save Logan. (Also because of just everything Rorke did but Logan was the straw that broke the camel's back.) They all fuck off to do their own things, ranging from unexpected, predictable, sad, and WTF are you even doing you little bastard.

Keegan dies at the start. Yup. I definitely killed him.

Whatever. In this AU he's a celebrity. Pretty well known one. So of course, paparazzi at his funeral.

Hesh is also at the funeral, however, he's not liking the cameras. See, he got into freelance work following the dissolvement of the Ghosts, and it's not the very legal kind: Hesh is a mercenary/gun for hire.

But Keegan is/was his bro, so he's taking the risk to go say his goodbyes in person. (He's also aware that Keegan was almost his brother in law, so yeah. He loves Keegan. (Platonic.))

Of course, Hesh being the hot head he is, gets a bit mad that these fucking random ass people are trying to make a profit out of his bro-in-laws death. So he starts yelling at them, scolding them in the Dad Voice he learned making sure Logan wasn't doing some dumb shit again.

Then after giving them a suitable thrashing, takes his turn to go see Keegan's body, looks at him, and immediately goes "That's not Keegan."

Out loud.

In front of like 20 people with cameras, recording this shit, transcribing every detail.

Uh. Well.

Hesh leaves. He can't fix that fuckup, he's not willing to even try. Adios muchachos.

Man, the papers have a damn field day though. "Following the mysterious death of hollywood's hottest actor, in comes the appearance of a strange shadowy man at his funeral... his claim? That the body in the casket isn't Mr. Russ!"

Yeah, Keegan's alive lol. Rorke killed his body double and Keegan decided to take the chance to give himself some time to run so he can tell everyone else that Rorke's trick ass is back. Since he was something of a popular figure, his "death" was kinda public, the funeral was pretty hasty.

Hesh just kinda killed that though. Thanks man.

"I promise it was an accident."

"I could have had a whole month to get my shit together before he figured it out, but no. A few damn days in you gotta spill to the press that I'm alive. Nice job David."

"I was surprised okay! I really thought you were dead, then I fucking look and it's some other guy."

"That "OtHeR gUy" was RANDY. My BEST FRIEND. And he DIED."

"Wow. Okay. Replaced me that quick?" :/

"I HAVEN'T SEEN OR HEARD FROM YOU IN YEARS!" >:(

[alidravana]

Happy Wednesday everyone!

This fic is mainly a result of Katar and I talking about AUs...which is super dangerous, because we both already have too many AU ideas and don’t really need more.  But it lead to my ‘what if Logan became a doctor instead of a soldier’ and here’s the start of what that story is going to look like (super rough start, just wrote last night).

“Read the words,” the soldier hissed in Spanish, shaking the piece of paper in front of the doctor.

The young doctor glared back at the soldier, but made no move to take the piece of paper, let alone start reading the demands.  He looked weary, his scrubs were wrinkled and scuffed, his shoulders slumped.  But still there was fire in his eyes, a spark of resistance that anyone watching could see.  Including the terrorists.

In a flash, one of the other terrorists was across the room, gripping at the doctor’s blond locks and yanking back his head, a knife appearing against the man’s now exposed throat.  “He said read the paper,” the soldier repeated as he slowly trailed the knife along the pale skin of the doctor, a small trail of blood following when the sharp edge broke the skin.  “Or one of your nurses is next,” he added, in English this time, flicking the knife in front of the doctor’s eyes.  

The doctor nodded curtly, and reached out for the paper, his trembling hand revealing his underlying nerves.  He cleared his throat loudly and then looked straight at the camera, beginning to read their demands to the US Government.  

“We order the release of the following prisoners…”

Hesh zoned out at that point of the broadcast; they were the only words that Hesh heard.

Because he recognized that man; knew that man almost as well as he knew his team.  

It was his brother…Logan.

[adultswim2021]

Sealab 2021 #39: “Neptunati” | July 25, 2004 - 11:45 PM | S04E06

This is a stunningly rotten episode, and it really illustrates why Sealab sucks so much. Tornado Shanks belongs to an Illuminati style organization that he inducts the rest of our Sealab crew into because of hilarious sitcom-style circumstances. Things get out of control when Stormy absconds with a magical trident that grants wishes, but also wakes a Cthulhu style beast (it might actually be Cthulhu, I don't feel like looking it up) that is fought off camera. That's the joke. In fact, I need to talk about this right now: so they do the gag where a big epic battle is happening off screen and we are only seeing our characters watching it. Then Quinn looks into the camera and says “whoever didn’t see that should just kill themselves!” unfunny joke, especially when we all know that if the Sealab crew actually did try to show us this scene it would look pathetic and amateurish. Like are we supposed to be like “aw dang hahaha too bad! we almost saw something cool hahahaha! FUNNY!”

The end is Sealab gets exploded by the Neptuanti. Sealab exploding was a favorite way to end episodes in previous seasons, and it'd actually been a while since we saw that happen. It's almost nostalgic at this point. Also throw in some humor about John Wilkes Booth, Henry Ford, the five Jew bankers, etc, stuff that sounds like satire but is just the writers showing off that they sorta paid attention during college. There's also a lot of extended comedy bits that have nothing to do with anything, and only exist to pad the episode out. There's a part where Hesh is abused in various ways, over and over, and he starts begging the camera to cut away because the joke is going on too long. I mean, that could sound funny on paper, but it actually is laborious and seems like it's built into the episode specifically to waste time. I don't respect it.

The ending is juvenile in a real first-thought comedy-writing way: the five jew bankers are on their "death star of David" (cute). They were able to enact their evil plot thanks to Papoomi, an anime character that I can't place right now. What is he, supposed to be a Pokemon? He shows up with a DragonBall Z style character. Anyway, they do one of those endings where everyone laughs cornily, and then one of them just declares "I'm going to fuck him in the face". Because, see, coarseness is automatically hilarious. It’s like the end of a Newgrounds cartoon.

Then at the end of the credits they call back a gag involving a cat corpse, by having it appear on top of the Cartoon Network logo with a rainbow shooting out of it. "Zombie Cat loves you!" he bellows. It's embarrassingly bad, and seems like their bid for a merch tie-in. Is there anything more embarrassing than when a bad comedy show calls back a terrible joke at the end of it's episode? Like, holy fuck, you thought that was gonna catch on or please people to be reminded of your awful shit? Like, dude... I’m sorry but it just sucks.

NOTE: I wanted to close this review by calling back a lame joke I'd made at the beginning of this post, but this entire write-up is air-tight and perfect and there's literally no poking any holes in it whatsoever. Please note how clever I am for thinking of it, and how sad it is that I'm so good at writing that I can't even be bad ironically. It's maybe the saddest thing I can think of right now.

EPHEMERA CORNER

Seth MacFarlane Week (July 26, 2004 - July 29, 2004 - 11:00 PM)

Hey, this happened! Basically, Seth MacFarlane hosted a week’s worth of Family Guy. Monday-Thursday, because Adult Swim didn’t broadcast on Fridays back in those days. Here are the episodes: Monday, July 26th: “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein” Tuesday, July 27th: “Road to Rhode Island” Wednesday, July 28th: “Lethal Weapons” Thursday, July 29th: “To Love and Die in Dixie” I think I saw some of these episodes hosted, but I mostly remember the promos, which I thought were genuinely funny even though I was becoming one of those very cool Family Guy haters. This is basically the same lineup as the “Freakin’ Sweet! Collection” DVD that came out, minus "I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar". I remember when I loved Family Guy the most I had not only volumes one and two on DVD but also said best-of DVD because it re-instated the Osama Bin Laden gag from “Road to Rhode Island” and had new commentary tracks. When I decided “actually Family Guy sucks and I’m too cool for it” I sold off Volumes 1 & 2 but kept the best-of. To be fair, can you think of anything more Freakin’ Sweet than those five episodes?

MAIL BAG

KON writes:

Awful episode, Neptunati. The "Five Jew Bankers" bit is especially pathetic. Feels like an internet post-left type that's too chickenshit to be an actual online nazi and doesn't actually have white supremacy in their hearts, but plays up their weariness of Jews and other races because they're happy to have an online subculture to fit in to. If the alt-right existed in 2004 Sealab would have definitely put in pandering winking references to them in the hopes of maintaining some sort of fanbase.

If I could rewrite history and have it so instead of Richard Spencer getting punched it was just Adam Reed going “UH OH!” like in Vacation and getting beheaded. It’s only fair

[simonxriley]

🤔 "family" for the WIP guessing game

I actually forgot I reblogged that post so I was slightly confused at first 😂

This is from the next chapter to We’re All We’ve Got Remastered, that I’m taking my sweet time with. 

She looked through all the pictures. Once Elias got his hands on a camera, that was it. Most of the pictures were of them on base, a few while they were out in the field, but on the last page she saw another family picture. It had her, Logan, Hesh, Elias, Riley, Merrick, Keegan and Kick. It was the day after her and her brothers joined the Ghosts. It was dated June 9th, 2027.

[thatonesillyducko]

Eva: Hey, can we stay in your room tonight?

Jemíma : Why?

Eva: Hesh fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.

Logan: Beth doesn't know how to banish spirits, so she just throws salt at them and yells "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Why and-- WHY was Jemíma given this task to look after them? lmao.

Jemíma: Knocks on the Captain's common room, along with the 4 grown ass adults as Elias answers, opening the door Elias: "Oh hello-- You don't like in a good condition, LT.?" Henry passes by, waving in the background, (SIR WE NEED TO TALK), sipping a glass of wine with side eye because he knows what she has come here for. Jemíma: "I can't watch your chiquitos all day and night, Captain. Please take them back. I'm not even capable of working alone, so please" Elias: "I'm sorry if my boys caused you any trouble, and I understand that completely." Hesh and Logan were just staring at their father, unwilling to leave at that moment. patooties Walkers Jemíma: "No, it has nothing to do with the trouble the niños have caused. It's..." *FEW MOMENTS BACK IN HER ROOM* Logan and Eva are watching the scene from their beds, and Hesh is sighing and making a facepalm as he looks at the imaginary camera similiar to Jim from The Office. Beth is screaming at Jemíma like a middle school girl because her phone was taken away for the entire night. Jemíma doesn't care about Beth and isn't affected by her.

[terryblount]

Battlefield 5 February 12th update will bring DLSS support, full patch release notes revealed

DICE has revealed the full patch release notes for Battlefield 5’s February 12th update. According to the release notes, this update will fix numerous netcode issues, will bring general quality of life improvements on maps and ground vehicles and will add four-player co-op to Battlefield V with Combined Arms.

Combined Arms will let players bring friends to challenge AI enemies and improve their skills before jumping into multiplayer. Players will be able to play solo or in a squad with up to three friends and tackle eight PvE missions set behind enemy lines, with four different objectives across four maps.

What’s also really interesting is that the February 12th update will include further optimizations to DXR ray tracing performance and will introduce NVIDIA DLSS to Battlefield V, which uses deep learning to improve game performance while maintaining visual quality. DLSS has been used to great effects in Final Fantasy XV and in 3DMark Port Royal, so it will be interesting to see whether its implementation will be that good in Battlefield 5 too.

You can find the complete list of changes, fixes and improvements for this upcoming patch below.

Battlefield 5 February 12th Update Release Notes

Netcode / TTK / TTD Improvements

Added a new system that will ensure consistency between TTK (Time to Kill) and TTD (Time to Death) regardless of the network performance issues (high latency, jitter, packet loss, etc.) encountered by players. With this change, the damage sequence from first bullet to last bullet hit will always properly be paced over time and will avoid bundling of damage (superbullets).

Increased the amount of damage updates that can happen in a single packet. This will ensure that the damage is sent to the player as fast as possible and avoid very delayed damage from weapons like shotguns.

Fixed an issue that caused the client to receive an incorrect amount of damage that would get corrected by the server shortly after. In some cases, the health correction for the client would only happen when a new damage update happens, which led to a desynced state where the player would try to self-heal or interact with other healing sources unsuccessfully.

Fixed an issue where the player’s health would wrongly update due to incorrect high frequency prioritization. This would commonly happen if there were a lot of players in the area. This issue could present itself when, for example, players tried to heal themselves, but no health was applied when the health pouch was used.

Fixed an issue where players still could take bullets damage for too long from a player that was recently killed, especially if that player had high latency. When the player is now confirmed killed on the server, damage from that player will be rejected. This change will not affect grenades, rockets and other projectiles that are not bullets.

Improved the visual replication of projectiles. This will ensure a more consistent directional damage feedback and will increase the accuracy of directional hit indicators.

Improved the HUD health updates when taking damage.

Fixed an issue where camera shakes would get delayed. This impacted how fast the player could read the damage feedback.

Made several improvements to vaultable object detection.

Vehicles

Fixed an exploit where players could destroy their own vehicles to gain points.

The Blenheim Mk IF and Stuka B-1 now properly use “flight zoom radius” settings for the minimap.

Fixed an issue with the Flakpanzer AA which caused it to deal an unintended amount of damage to airplanes when using the default four-barrel gun.

The AA gun barrels on the Valentine AA tank now follow the movement properly when the user is aiming in zoomed-in mode.

The Blenheim MK IF and Blenheim MKI is again able to get more ammo when flying through the reload checkpoint for their primary weapon.

In Single Player, the hit boxes for planes have been increased during the Under No Flag War Story, in the section when the player uses the Flak 38.

The resupply icon is now properly displayed for the Sturmtiger when players are in first person perspective in the resupply area.

The Churchill Mk VII Tank now takes damage as intended when getting hit on the front sides and rear.

Increased the velocity and drag of all tank shells. The shells travel faster in short encounters but have similar ballistic curves and velocity at distance. This makes tank fights at mid range feel more powerful and immediate, without enabling tank sniping at long range. Additionally, this creates a larger gap between HE and AP shell ballistics, making AP shells easier to aim at longer ranges.

Increased the armor value of heavy tanks by 25% against tank cannons. The Tiger and Churchill were outmatched by upgraded medium tanks, and generally were not survivable enough against threats to justify their lower speed and maneuverability.

Increased the damage values of all armor-piercing specialized shells by 30%. These shells rely upon hits from good angle far more than the basic HE shells. Their damage values were too low to compensate for the angle damage, making them less effective than HE shells in many situations. AP shells should now be a better choice than HE shells when fighting tanks and making good shots, but a worse choice if the angle of attack is poor.

Increased the damage of all tank shells versus infantry by 12%. This should make the tank shells properly lethal against infantry who are crouched, prone, or sprinting.

Slightly reduced the splash damage of the PIAT against infantry, especially at close ranges.

Fixed several vehicles which took more than the intended amount of damage when a shell ricocheted off their armor: Panzer 38t, Churchill Crocodile, Halftracks, Panzer IV, Staghound, and Tiger.

Reduced the damage of the Churchill Mk VII Howitzer upgrade against Vehicles. This shell should be highly effective against infantry, and the lethal potential of the shell against infantry is unchanged. For vehicles, the HESH projectile is still highly effective against all targets, and thus is now more attractive as a Specialization in the tree.

Increased the amount of aim assist on vehicles to be equal to the soldier aim assist.

The BK37 now detonates when hitting tanks, even at very poor angles. This increases the damage done versus tanks for these poor angle shots.

Increased the burn time of the flares dropped by airplanes and launched by tanks to be equal to the Recon’s spotting flare.

Spawning into the Panzer 38T on a squad mate will now have a smoother transition with less camera clipping issues.

Fixed a bug which would hinder players from entering a vehicle if Dynamite was placed exactly on the top of the entry indicator of a vehicle.

It’s no longer possible to danger ping a vehicle through smoke.

Improved tank tracks on terrain to look better after multiple tanks have driven over the same area.

Ragdolls now properly disappear after a player has redeployed after getting killed in a seat of a vehicle.

Weapons, Gadgets, and Specializations

Adjusted the weapon settle sway animation when moving from hip fire to ADS to better match the actual accuracy transition. The sight will now settle in place faster.

Fixed an issue where in some rare cases the Medic would be unable to self-heal.

The Turner SMLE will now show the soldier reloading the weapon by properly adding bullet by bullet.

Added the missing sight rewards for the Zk-383’s progression.

Fixed a bug with the bipod which enabled players to mount it mid-air next to walls.

Sniper decoys can no longer be placed upon each other to reach unintended areas.

Fixed an issue where Spawn Beacons would snap onto surfaces above the player (trees etc.).

Greatly improved the detection of areas where players are allowed to deploy Spawn Beacons.

Greatly improved the detection of obstacles between the player and the potential Spawn Beacon.

Disabled placement of Spawn Beacons under water.

Reduced the maximum distance at which a player is allowed to deploy a Spawn Beacon to 1,35m instead of 2m to reduce conflicts with obstacles between the player and the “potential Spawn Beacon”.

On the Practice Range, all parts of the MG42 weapon are now visible.

Fixed a bug where the player’s weapons sometimes would become invisible when exiting a vehicle.

Fixed an issue when using an ammo pouch which could result in the animation showing a health pouch instead or vice versa.

Fixed a rare bug which could result in players being unable to reload the KE7 if they, with exact timing, activated aim down sights when the last bullet in the magazine was fired.

Mines placed by your team will no longer explode if you drive over them with a vehicle that has a towable attached.

The Zk-383 magazine is no longer misaligned when reloading viewed from third person.

Fixed a bug where, after using Squad Reinforcements, the squad radio would not de-equip.

The Tanker and Pilot classes no longer build Fortifications faster than the Support class with the engineer Combat Role.

The overheat effect on machine guns is no longer misaligned in third person.

Players are no longer able to aim down sight with the Squad Reinforcement binoculars which was causing a black mesh to block the player’s view.

Fixed an issue where Ammo and Health crates could sometimes fall through the game world.

Spawning on the Spawn Beacon now makes you face the proper direction (towards the beacon).

Weapon balance

Shotgun Slugs

Increased two-hit kill range to 30 m (was 25 m) and increased one headshot kill range to 50 m (was 35 m) when using the Solid Slug specialization. Slugs were a bit disappointing in terms of damage over distance, so we slowed down their damage drop-off.

PIAT

Reduced reload time to 2.75 s (was 2.9 s) and increased reload threshold to 0.6 (was 0.5). The PIAT’s reload timer was slightly longer than the animation looked, and it was possible to skip parts of the reload time by doing a weapon swap.

KE7

Increased initial vertical recoil to 0.7 (was 0.65), decreasing to 0.52 (was 0.5) after four shots.

Increased horizontal recoil to 0.48 (was 0.45).

Changed recoil pattern. The KE7 was still slightly too controllable for its rate of fire, so we increased recoil across the board.

Turner SMLE

Reduced maximum damage to 40 (was 45).

M1944

Reduced maximum damage to 40 (was 45).

Reduced range at which one head and one body shot is lethal to 30 m (was 35 m).

Gewehr 1-5

Reduced maximum damage to 36 (was 40).

Reduced range at which one head and one body shot is lethal to 10 m (was 30 m). These semi-autos had a very high chance to get a kill with only two hits on a wounded target, which seems unnecessary given their good base TTK. Additionally, the Gewehr 1-5 was extremely strong up to 30 meters whenever you landed one headshot, so we reduced this range to 10 meters.

Zk-383

Increased horizontal recoil to 0.765 (was 0.68) when using the Light Bolt Specialization. With the increased rate of fire, the Zk-383 was a bit too accurate compared to the M1928A1 considering the flexibility from being able to use the bipod.

Bayonet

Removed damage reduction during bayonet charge, added a 1.3 sprint speed multiplier. This brings the behavior of bayonet charge in line with Battlefield 1.

Maps and Modes

Frontlines – Fixed an issue where some maps had no constructible Fortifications.

Fjell 652 – Fixed an exploit where players could stand on the cliff face when they should have been out of the combat area.

Fjell 652 – Players can once again build all kinds of Fortifications when playing Frontlines.

Devastation – Fixed an issue where players could get stuck or fall through the ground in the library area.

Devastation – Fixed collision on multiple places to prevent players from using map exploits.

Devastation – Fixed an occluder that was sticking out.

Devastation – Fixed some collision to stop people from getting stuck.

Devastation – Added a ladder Fortification to the library.

Devastation – Moved a health station in the library to not clip with another asset.

Devastation – Added collision to allow people to easier access the second floor of the library.

Fjell 652 – Fixed a rock that was unvaultable near Flag E on Conquest.

Aerodrome – On Breakthrough, fixed an issue which resulted in players getting spawned outside of the combat area.

Panzerstorm – Fixed a floating stationary anti-air gun.

Panzerstorm – Improved the transitions between weather states.

Panzerstorm – Improved the borders on the deploy screen when playing Conquest to show neutral borders more accurately.

Panzerstorm – Fixed some floating Fortifications.

Panzerstorm – Borders on the deploy screen are now easier to see if the fog weather state is active.

Arras – Spawn Beacons placed by the church tower now properly get destroyed when the church tower gets destroyed.

Arras – The hedgerow collision has been tweaked to reduce the chance of projectiles incorrectly hitting invisible collision.

Narvik – Turrets and cannons can now be rebuilt and repaired on this map.

Hamada – Players are now able to control the free camera in spectator mode when switching between table top to free camera mode.

Rotterdam – Fixed an issue with a ladder where players were able to reach an unintended area below the water.

Rotterdam – Made it easier to climb out of the water near the B flag on Conquest.

Rotterdam – Players are no longer able to climb to the rooftop located near point D on Conquest.

Rotterdam – Fixed some issues with the combat area and its collision where previously you could drive through backdrop houses with a tank.

Rotterdam – Adjusted terrain a tiny bit to prevent players from glitching below it.

Rotterdam – Added collision to prevent people from climbing on houses around the D flag.

Practice Range – Decreased the explosion size of the skeets as they could block the view of the other skeets.

Aerodrome – Fixed a spawn point on Frontlines where players could deploy out of bounds in a tank when playing as Axis.

Aerodrome – Players will no longer jump high into the air when vaulting over bomb cart carrier after vaulting over the railing on the balcony just straight above it in the airplane hangar.

Practice range – Fixed a bug where it was not possible to switch to another weapon after using the M30 Drilling.

The Last Tiger War Story – Fixed an issue where players could end up in an infinite loading screen after the last cinematic in the story had ended.

The in-game chat has been disabled during the Final Stand game mode to hinder players from exposing the position of players.

UI/HUD/Options/Assignments

The Frontlines tutorial video now plays when players go into the Frontlines menu for the first time.

Under advanced search, Frontlines no longer appears as “Frontlines Small” and is once again able to find matching servers.

Fixed the estimated times duration to be more accurate on the multiplayer mode selection screens.

Fixed an issue where the health pouch reminder indicator could be visible while the player was in a vehicle.

Fixed an issue when users managed to complete two Tides of War nodes within the same round which caused the Tides of War widget on the pause menu to not display the next nodes.

The indicator that shows when a player needs a health pack from a Medic will no longer show if the player already is in the process of healing up.

The background now properly updates when players go in and out of the “Progression” screens as well as the “Armory” screen.

Fixed an issue where the UI sounds would not play in the vehicle customization screen.

The Social menu now shows if your friends are playing on the Practice Range.

When a squad leader with a squad tries to join a full server and ends up in the server queue, the squad will now follow the squad leader if they choose to leave the queue and join another server.

Players will no longer get a Company Coin purchase confirmation screen in the Specialization screen for upgrades that they have yet not earned.

Fixed an issue in the Armory where some offers that were sets did not appear to be sets.

Fixed an issue where the Tides of War widget on the pause menu would not show when players transitioned between rounds.

The Tides of War in-game progression notifications are now shown more consistently.

The total weapons number shown in “Your Company” on the replace weapon button have been removed.

Fixed a bug where the time spent in vehicles was not tracking properly when spawning into them.

Fixed an issue with the Options screen where the page would auto scroll back to the last used option when changing any slider options.

Platoon tags now show up in the Profile section.

Changing characters will no longer change the equipped cosmetic items but will stay the same as the user has selected.

Soldiers and vehicles in the frontend should no longer show until all its assets are fully loaded in on first boot.

Fixed an issue which made it difficult to see some facepaints when applied in the Armory.

Added an auto focuser to Spectator Mode’s free cam and player view director modes. This can be found under the depth of field settings in the Camera tab. It can be set to either “Point” or “Player” mode. In point mode, the focus distance will be automatically adjusted to keep the selected point in focus. A point can be selected by clicking anywhere with the mouse cursor, or on consoles by aiming the camera and pressing A on the Xbox One or X on the PlayStation® 4. In player mode, the focus will be kept on the player who is currently selected.

Stability

Multiple crash fixes and stability improvements.

PC-Specific Improvements

This update includes further optimizations to DXR ray tracing performance and introduces NVIDIA DLSS to Battlefield V, which uses deep learning to improve game performance while maintaining visual quality.

Rotterdam – The deploy screen has been improved when using a widescreen monitor, and no longer displays any low-resolution textures or unintended backdrop buildings.

Spectator mode – added key bindings for increasing and decreasing field of view in free cam and player view director modes. Defaults are PAGE UP and PAGE DOWN.

Battlefield 5 February 12th update will bring DLSS support, full patch release notes revealed published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[youth-and-roses]

Sun's death (ding dong, angst on your door)

Sun's death, is the last part of the Au, is really angst 'cuz i like the angst. Logan is 34, he and Keegan are married (yes you read right) and have a 10 year old, black adopted little daughter, Logan saw her in a mass of kids, mostly of this kids were (surprise, surprise) white rich kids who came with their parents to 'support' the survivors, those kids were bullying her. Logan begged to Keegan to take her with them, and the sniper said yes, why not? They had a war with the state to finally adopt her, her name is Alice. Alice loves her two dads, she can talk about boys with both of them! Alice is looking thru her dads memories and photos, she finds a DvD called 'Sun's Death' and Alice is so excited, she takes her two dads and show them the movie. It was Hesh on the beach, thirteen years old, smiling, with a tiny riley in his arms talking about his life at school and how amazing his family is, how much he loves his brother and father. Hesh is now on sitted the sand, watching the waves, bitching about a guy called Poseidon, saying he is the Bro of the Bros, he laughs, Logan don't know who is holding the camera, he looks at his husband, Keegan is also surprised. Maybe, just maybe the lost boy who once was called David and now is Ra, wants to show his family his true self.

[viralhottopics]

World’s first smartphone with a molecular sensor is coming in 2017

The Changhong H2, the world’s first smartphone with a molecular sensor, the Consumer Physics SCiO, built in.

Image: Pete Pachal/Mashable

LAS VEGAS The smartphone is often called the real-world version of the handheld communicators from the original Star Trek, a nod to how prescient the TV series was about personal technology.

Well, another Star Trek gadget is on the verge of becoming common. The tricorder the device that Spock and Dr. McCoy would use to analyze all kinds of objects and materials on the show is becoming a real thing. And it’s coming to smartphones.

SEE ALSO: A brand new BlackBerry is coming, and yes, it has a keyboard

At CES 2017, Consumer Physics showed off the world’s first smartphone with a built-in molecular scanner. The scanner itself is actually an even smaller version of the stand-alone handheld scanner, the SCiO, which the company revealed at last year’s show (and went on to win a Mashable CES award).

The Changhong H2 next to the original stand-alone SCiO sensor.

Image: Pete Pachal/Mashable

The phone is a Chinese model, the Changhong H2 not exactly your average Samsung. But it’s a real phone that’s really going to be sold in China, not just a prototype or proof of concept. It’s scheduled to go on sale in June with a price tag of roughly $435 US dollars.

Looking at the back of the phone, you’d be forgiven for thinking the sensor is just the phone’s camera. But that odd-looking dual lens is the scanner, basically the embedded version of the SCiO. It uses spectrometry to shine near-infrared light on objects fruit, liquids, medicine, even your body to analyze them.

The Changhong H2 analyzing the freshness of an Apple.

Image: Pete Pachal/Mashable

Say you’re at at the supermarket and you want to check how fresh the tomatoes are. Instead of squeezing them, you’d just launch the SCiO app, hold the scanner up to the skin of the tomato, and it will tell you how fresh it is on a visual scale. Do the same thing to your body and you can check your body mass index (BMI). You need to specify the thing you’re scanning at the outset, and the actually analysis is performed in the cloud, but the whole process is a matter of seconds, not minutes.

Here’s the world’s first smartphone with a built-in molecular sensor. Tricorders FTW! #MashCES #CES2017 http://pic.twitter.com/zcRoTYm6TB

Pete Pachal (@petepachal) January 6, 2017

Another application is verifying the authenticity of drugs. At a demo at CES, I saw the phone scan what I was told was a real Viagra pill and a knock-off. To the naked eye the pills looked identical, both light-blue diamond-shaped pills. But the H2’s SCiO scanner recognized the impostor in seconds, calling it out with a bright orange screen.

This pill looks suspect.

Image: Pete Pachal/Mashable

It’s easy to see the great potential of putting this kind of tech into the hands of everyone with a smartphone. Consumers everywhere would be empowered to test food and medicine before they commit to buying or ingesting them. Hagai Heshes, head of product marketing for Consumer Physics, says adding the sensor to a phone doesn’t increase cost much, and judging from the price of the Changhong H2, it appears he’s right. The company also claims the phone is 20% more energy efficient than comparable smartphones.

Will Consumer Physics’ molecular sensor catch on with the major smartphone manufacturers? That would take some convincing (though Heshes says the company is talking to them), but it’s easy to see a brand like Samsung, which has historically debuted phones with all kinds of unusual tech, taking a chance on the sensor or one of its models.

And if that model catches on, who knows? Maybe we’ll all be scanning our groceries and bodies with our phones five years from now with the same ease with which Dr. McCoy would diagnose a case of Romulan measles.

BONUS: Yes, this TV really is transparent

Read more: http://on.mash.to/2iRK04q

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