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#hey so I’m finally finishing this post literal years after I started it and I know no one reading this will really care but
nataliawrites · 1 year
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TikTok on the Clock // Daniel Ricciardo
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One of the best things to come out of the pandemic lockdown was finally giving in to the urge to download TikTok. You had quickly grown addicted to scrolling through the mix of eclectic videos that popped up on your “for you page” and soon enough decided to start posting some yourself.
It did not take long for Formula 1 fans to make the connection between your account and who your boyfriend is — Daniel Ricciardo was many things but subtle was not one of them and he had a tendency to “accidentally” interrupt you while you filmed.
You kept the account going long after restrictions eased and hopped on many of the trends that made their rounds on the app. This year, you were feeling slightly evil. You have been putting together a compilation of hilarious (if you did say so yourself) pranks that you pulled on your boyfriend since the season began and were just about to hit upload as the countdown began.
You put down your phone and turn to give Daniel your full attention.
Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
One
His lips taste like champagne.
Happy New Year!
“Hey Dan?”
“Mmh.”
“Maybe stay off TikTok for a bit.”
“What did you do?”
One
You loved the Australian Grand Prix. Your boyfriend’s home race was a spectacle on the track and a great opportunity to spend time with his family off the track.
As usual, you flew out to Perth a bit early before switching coasts for the race. You were busy in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner as you prepared to host everyone that evening. When everything was mostly done, you started recording on your phone and leaned it against the wall inconspicuously before calling for your boyfriend.
“Hey, babe?” You pour a heaping pile of salt on a spoon.
“Yeah?” You can hear Daniel from across the house.
“Can you come taste my sauce?” You dunk the spoon in a pot of your tomato sauce and pick up just enough to hide the salt.
He basically runs to the kitchen, “test taster reporting for duty.”
You bring the spoon to his mouth, “I used your nonna’s recipe.”
His eyes screw shut and his mouth puckers, “my-my nonna’s recipe?”
“Your mom shared it with me. Isn’t it delicious?”
“Yeah,” his voice cracks. “Delicious.”
You look at his face again and fight a losing battle not to laugh as he desperately tries not to offend you and his grandma.
You reach towards your phone as giggles escape you.
Daniel finally realizes he’s been tricked, “are you serious?”
You point the camera towards your boyfriend, “you should’ve seen your face.”
“You’re so mean to me,” he pouts.
Two
“Babe?” You questioned coming through the front door. You had spent the day loading up on groceries and stopping by a few boutiques that caught your eye. This was the perfect opportunity to finally pull one over on your boyfriend.
“I’m in here,” you drop your bags in the foyer and follow Daniel’s voice to where he’s lying on the living room sectional.
Your phone is stuck in your bra, the camera just peaking over your shirt. “My car told me I needed windshield wiper fluid while I was out.”
He lowers his phone but keeps his focus on it.
“So I pulled into a gas station and the guy working there gave me a really good deal. He told me I got it for 50 percent off and it was only $150 for me because of how sweet I was.”
Daniel’s head snaps up as he drops his phone.
“$150?”
“Yeah.”
“You paid $150?”
“Yeah …”
“For windshield wiper fluid?”
“Yeah? He told me it was a good deal!”
“Love,” you can’t tell if he wants to laugh or cry, “I could’ve done that for free. He ripped you off.”
“But it was 50 percent off?”
“It costs less than $5 to buy and then you just pour it in!” He gestures wildly, “this is my fault. How do I race for a living and literally collect cars without teaching my girlfriend how to change her own windshield wiper fluid?”
By this point you’re silently laughing which Daniel finally notices.
“Really? Really?” He turns around to face the back of the couch, “don’t talk to me.”
“Awww, baby. Don’t be mad at me,” you coo. “I think it’s cute how protective you got.”
“Still mad at you.” It’s hard to take him seriously with his face shoved into the leather couch, muffling his voice.
Three
You walk into the gym, your phone hidden in the pocket of your leggings, and take in the view of you shirtless boyfriend.
The fans will appreciate this one.
“Dan?”
He pauses his juggling on the stationary bike.
“My back’s really been bothering since I came back from my run. Do you think you can help me stretch it or something?”
He gets off the bike and walks toward you, “do you want me to call Michael? He won’t mind coming over to help with your back.”
“Don’t bother him. It’s nothing major,” you turn away from your boyfriend and quickly stick two pieces of pasta between your molars while he can’t see, “just need to loosen it up a bit.”
“Okay …” he spreads his palms across your back and applies some careful pressure. You bite down on the pasta, timing the crack with his movements.
“Oh my god.” You let your body go limp.
“Love? Are you okay?” He tries to hold you up but you collapse on the padded floor of the gym.
“Is it your back? What did I do? I knew we should’ve just called Michael. Oh my god.”
You take pity on your boyfriend, not wanting him to think that he actually broke your back for longer than a few seconds, “it was just pasta.”
“What?”
“The sound. It was just me biting pasta. It’s a prank trend.”
He lets go of your body and you fully drop to the floor.
“Are.” He pelts you with one of the balls he was juggling.
“You.” And another.
“Kidding.” And another.
“Me?” And another.
You run out of the gym laughing as he continues to chase you through the house, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
“I thought I broke your back!”
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hamiltonaf · 1 year
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Payback | Kylian Mbappé
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Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader
Word Count: 2.4K
Warnings: Cursing
A/N: My apologies for not posting part 2 of ‘One More Dance’, I’ve been so busy and I’m currently working on it so hopefully it will be up soon. Inspo is from an old tiktok trend. Enjoy .xo
(Y/F/N) - Your Friend’s Name
The thud of heavy rain drops hitting against my window set the mood to do absolutely nothing today. Though it doesn't work like that today since I have an assignment due in a few days time. It would also be ideal to cuddle someone right about now but that's out of the question because of a certain someone.
After completing half of my assignment, which I was quite satisfied with, I decided to call it a day for work and take advantage of the gloomy weather.
Taking a look at Instagram was a bad idea since I came across rumours of Kylian dating another girl. So much for breaking up a month ago and wanting to 'focus on football'. His excuse still bothers me since it was a poor one after dating for almost 3 years. I don't see a change of performance on the pitch if I’m being honest. I guess everything happens for a reason, maybe we're just not meant to be.
I mean if he moved on then so should I, right ? It then hit me that I should spice things up and give something for people to talk about. We’ll excuse my petty behaviour and blame it on the weather for making me somewhat evil. Before causing some drama, I called (Y/F/N), "Ello !" she answered. "Hey girly ! How are you doing on this beautiful day ?" I asked. "Ugh I’m so bored, you have no idea” she whined. “But never mind me, how are you doing more specifically ?” She asked curiously. “I’m doing okay, but-“ “I can already tell something is up your sleeve” she cut me off.
“Damn you really know me well” I pouted. “Of course ! Otherwise I wouldn’t be your bestie. Anywho, spill the tea…I’m all ears” she said enthusiastically. “So word of mouth right now on insta is that he is dating someone else, there’s literally pictures of them at dinner together” I rolled my eyes. “Shut up ! What the actual fuck dude. That’s so messed up. He’s such an ass” she yelled. “Yeah yeah I mean it hurts but the only way for my petty ass to get over it is-“ “If you do the same thing” she finished my sentence.
“Exactly ! So remember that TikTok we wanted to try out ages ago where one of us is dressed up as the guy and take out a bunch of pictures to look like a couple” I reminded her. “Oh my god ! Our time has finally come ! Okay I’m on my way, I’ll literally be there in like 5 mins” she said lastly before ending the call.
As soon as (Y/F/N) came over, we went straight to my dresser and got working on her makeup. We started by accentuating her veiny yet bony hands and then contoured her cheekbones, as well as her jawline to look more masculine. I failed to mention how smart she is, she came through with a bouquet of my favourite flowers so I had something else to post about.
Once we were done with her makeup, she slipped into one of my high heels so she was much taller than me. With her oversized hoodie and cap on you’d literally think that she’s a guy - a hot one at that too. I changed into a black slip dress and took off my shoes to spice up the picture, and exaggerate her height.
When (Y/F/N) came up behind me in the mirror, we both burst out laughing over how accurate she looked to a guy. “Shit. Even I would date me” she said before getting serious and wrapped her arms around my waist. After a few pictures of my head tilted and her face nuzzled into my neck, we finally had the picture. Her side profile looked so sharp, it’s actually insane.
After all of this, I suddenly felt hesitant to post for some odd reason that even (Y/F/N) noticed. I think it was pretty obvious how long I was staring at the pictures. “Girl don’t hold back now, just do it. He should see that you also moved on” she wiggled her brows. “You got a point there” I said to myself. I then uploaded 2 stories, one of the bouquet and one of us together - both simply captioned with a white heart. “If I saw this for the first time, I’d literally scream. Everyone is gonna lose their minds, especially him” she smirked. “Feels good to throw this back at him” I smirked back. “Welcome to the dark side bestie” she patted my back. “Anywho I need to run, got a few errands. Love you and call me later to update me on the drama. I’ll desperately be waiting for your call” she said as she gathered her things. “Of course ! Will do. Thanks bestie” I quickly hugged her before she hurriedly left.
I proceeded to spending the rest of my afternoon binging on early 2000's chick flicks, it wasn't until the evening when I decided to check my phone again that I noticed how many notifications I received. My notifications were the highest its ever been, well shit. We love to see it I guess.
I received countless tags on reposts as well as comments from fans, and surprisingly messages from family - understandable how many messages I received since it’s so evident that it’s not Kylian in the pictures. Scrolling through my notifications I decided to ignore all until my eyes landed on Kylian’s contact name, 'Kyky'. Surprise surprise.
"Heyy" the text read, I rolled my eyes, I don't have time for a conversation starter. I left him on read and proceeded with watching my movies. It wasn't even 5 minutes and my phone started to ring. It was Kyky calling. My heart started racing, I was hesitant to answer the call because what are we going to talk about and why call now ?
"Hello" he greeted. "Hey" I answered plainly. "Are you busy ?" He asked curiously. "Well kind of.. I'm actually just getting ready to leave" I said with a devious smile creeping onto my face. "Oh. Erm okay never mind" he said disappointed. "Why ?" I raised a brow. "I'm actually outside your apartment" he said embarrassed "No way" I said lowly to myself. "Have a look" he said as I then walked towards my front door and was met with his face. I ended the call and looked at him in shock, "You- here- like..what are you doing here ?" I asked.
"Can I come in please ?" He asked pleadingly. "What for ?" I asked back. "To talk about us" he said. "Theirs no us anymore. Theirs nothing for us to talk about" I said as I was about to close the door. "Wait. Just give me a chance" he said softly. "Theirs literally no point. You moved on..I moved on-" "You have another boyfriend already ?" He asked in shock. "I'm offended that you think I'm not capable of moving on so soon" I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest.
"So you must've known this guy whilst we were dating ?" He asked as he started to grow angry. "Yeah so ?" I scoffed. "You were just waiting for us to break up so you can date this guy" he said as he started to raise his voice. "You literally did the same thing. You made it seem like it was such a simple break up for your own good, but for the last 2 weeks you're rumoured to be with another girl !"I said as I started to grow annoyed. "Yes, but she's just a friend" he said.
"Funny how we’ve been together for so long and I never met this friend before" I said. Just then my next door neighbour yelled at us for raising our voices. "Please do yourself a favour and leave" I said as I shut the door. I then heard rattling of the door and in came Kylian. "You weren't invited inside" I said. "Well I had a spare key" he said as he held up the key. "That was supposed to be returned to me when we broke up" I said as I snatched the key from his hand and went to sit on my couch. “Also, how could you act surprised that I moved on when you’re literally here after I posted a picture with another guy ?” I questioned. He then sat beside me, "Can you just stop talking about that idiot ? I came here to talk about us…How do I make you love me again?"
"Love ? Dream on" I half laughed. "I'm being serious" he said as he looked between my eyes. "Forget about me loving you. How do I know that you love me ?" I asked. "Well I missed you all this time so I came back" he smiled. "It's not that simple. If you truly loved me as you say, you wouldn't have wanted to break up after all these years" I said. "Look I'm sorry okay ? I really am. I wish I could go back in time and reverse what I did...I just needed some time to myself to think about my future personal life and I kept imagining you in it..." he said as he gently moved a strand away from my face.
"Don't play with me right now" I warned. "No jokes. I love you. I really do, and I want to continue to spend the rest of my life with you" he said as he held my hands. "Okay cute. Anyways I have to go meet my boyfriend. It was nice of you to stop by..I'll think about it" I huffed as I got up. He grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me towards him to sit on his lap. "Stop lying" he smirked. "What makes you think I'm lying ?" I raised a brow. "I know your facial expressions when you lie. I just know you all too well because you literally could've left the second you opened your door instead of coming back inside" He said with a smile.
"Well I've changed my mind, I rather be with him right now" I shrugged. "I want my old (Y/N) back" he pouted. "She left the building the day you left her" I said lastly and got up to walk to my room. "Ouch" he pouted as he followed behind me. "I still love you no matter what. Always have and always will" I gave him a brief look before pretending to rummage through my closet. "So is this how it's going to be ?" He asked as he leaned back in my bed and watched me. "I told you that I need to think about it" I said as I continued to skim through my closet. "I'm not going until we stop fighting" he said casually "This isn't fighting. People don't get back together based off 5 minutes of talking to them after a whole month" I said as he stood up to stand in front of me.
"I like it when you're angry" he said as he got closer. "Don't" I said softly as I looked down. He lifted my head to meet his eyes as he cupped my cheeks, his thumb tracing over my lips. "You're making this harder" I pouted. Just when his lips were a mere centimetre away, he mumbled "It shouldn’t be hard if you have a boyfriend…Should I stop ?"
I hesitated to answer. To give up the game and kiss him or keep annoying him. “I can’t” I faked a pout. “Why not ?” His mood dropped. “I can’t do this to Nico” I said as I looked down. “Fuck Nico !” He yelled. “How the hell do you even know this guy ?” He asked frustrated. “We met at a party” I answered casually. “Besides him, it’s wrong of you to cheat on your girlfriend” I said looking everywhere else but him. He walked closer which made me take a step back, my back hitting against the wall. He placed his hands on either side of me, cornering me. “I just told you that she’s a friend and nothing more” he tried to say calmly. “I’m not convinced” I shrugged.
“Forget about her, she’s irrelevant right now. I came to claim back what was once mine. If I have to fight this stupid so called boyfriend of yours, then I will” he said as he inched his face closer to mine. There was a moment of silence. Both of us holding eye contact and switching between looking at each others eyes and lips. He leaned in and I didn’t stop him. It was a sweet soft peck. His forehead against mine, he sighed and said "I'll give you your space.” I surprised myself by grabbing a hold of his hand and pulling him back into place. “What’s wrong ?” He asked. “You’ll fight for me ?” I teased. “I know that I’m not fighting anyone because you’re lying, but if I have to then I will” he said as his hands were on my waist.
“How can you tell I’m lying ?” I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. “Besides reading your facial expressions, we wouldn’t be in this position right now” he said. “Or doing this” he said softly before placing his lips on mine. I pulled him closer against me and just then he broke away from the kiss. “I think I should go” he teased. "No no wait just a little more" I hushed him as I pulled him closer to connect our lips once again.
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emaginations · 5 months
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HAPPY (late) HALLOWEEN!!!
Here's my gift for @gemini-forest for the @rottmnt-secret-gifting!
This is also going to be cross posted to AO3, so it can be read or bookmarked over there too!
The story, "The New World Is A Treat", can be read under the cut or in this link!
Leonardo was a soldier. He wasn't always that, but it's what he was forced to grow up as. When the Krang ripped themselves through that portal years and years ago, he had to let go of all his past dreams and childhood wishes. Then when the people around him started to slowly dwindle, he had to harden up and become the leader everyone left needed.
What Leonardo became was someone worthy of trying to fix his mistakes, someone that his family would be proud of. Someone who could actually be forgiven.
Now here he is, in a healed past, staring in a mirror and wondering if a sheet was too weak of a costume for trick or treating.
Yeah, he was going trick or treating at the ripe old age of forty. The things you do when you get yanked twenty odd years back.
It's his fault, really, that he agreed to this. It was already bad enough that all of his brothers walked up to him one afternoon last week with big pleading eyes. Then they roped CJ into this, weaponizing the face Leonardo literally watched grow up since he was an infant. Then he caved.
Now the night is here. Spirits, this feels so stupid.
Resigning himself to hiding under a sheet the entire night, Leonardo throws one over his shoulder and walks out of his room.
As expected, everyone is gathered in the lobby as they put on the finishing touches. Well, almost everyone. Leo and Donnie, who are already dressed up in Anakin and Spock outfits respectively, are too busy arguing to help out elsewhere.
"Star Trek attempts to replicate what technology would look like in the distant future based around actual science! The entire franchise is built upon science! Star Wars just makes up their own rules whenever they need some new random plot device when they’ve run out of ideas again."
Leo scoffs as he swings the lightsaber on his shoulder. “What you don’t understand is the fact that Anakin is top tier as a character and him existing is why you're already wrong."
Leonardo walks over to Mikey and Raph, who are finishing up the dragon tail to Mikey’s costume? “They're still fighting about this?”
Raph, already fully decked out in a complete Elvis costume, snorts at the question. "Are ya kidding? I don't think they've ever stopped about this. They just put it on pause."
"THEY ARE NOT "BASICALLY THE SAME THING" GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE NARDO!"
“Annnd there they go.”
As expected, Donnie runs after Leo, who has jumped behind Leonardo, the second living shield in the Hamato household. Leonardo grabs Donnie by the shell as he runs by, lifting him up as he still kicks in the air.
“Hey,” he says. “Weren’t you taught to not murder your brothers?”
Donnie looks up in thought as his kicking ceases. “Hmm, I don’t think so. Put me down, maybe?”
Leonardo gives him a tilted smirk. “Yeah I’m not that dumb you little twit.”
“You’re only defending him cause you are literally the same person!” Donnie once again thrashes in Leonardo’s grip towards Leo. Leo, the conniving little culprit that he is, snickers from the safe-zone still behind Leonardo.
“Nah,” Leo says, stepping back, “it’s cause we’ve got equal tastes.” Leo’s eyes find the white cloth over Leonardo’s shoulder. “Oh speaking of, is that what you’re wearing tonight?! Is it a Princess Leia dress to match!?”
Leonardo raises an eye as he looks down at Leo. “If I were to match you, I’d dress up as Vader.”
Leo nods slowly. “Truue.”
At that moment, Raph finally finishes helping Mikey with the dragon tail, leaving Mikey to swish around the room as he stands.
“Well, what is the costume?” he asks.
Leonardo grimaces as the attention is now fully focused on him. He would have preferred showing the costume when it was too late to turn back, but he’s still new to being ganged up on by a bunch of teenagers.
“Oh it’s just uh…” Leonardo puts down Donnie and unfurls the sheet, throwing it over his head. The sheet covers him up until it ends at his knees. He throws his arms up as if he were standing like a scarecrow. “This.”
He can’t see out of the sheet, but the silence he gets in return is very telling.
“Okay,” Leo starts. “I take back what I said about equal tastes. His are rancid.” Leo emits a small “ow”, likey from Raph smacking him for being rude.
“That’s what you’re wearing!?” Leonardo grimaces as he lifts the sheet up to face an appalled Mikey. “And after all the effort that I put into my costume?! I can accept laziness but this is just wrong.”
“Oh come on,” Leonardo complains. “It’s a classic costume!” An idea pops into his head. “Plus! CJ’s never seen costumes like these, it’s good for him to understand what older costumes looked like!”
“Hm,” Donnie activates his ninpo and makes a ninpo megaphone in his hand. “Let’s get Junior’s official opinion then.” He turns it on with a screech. “ CASEY JUNIOR! YOUR FATHER IS MAKING BAD LIVELIHOOD CHOICES! FIX HIM!”
Leonardo rips the sheet off, face heating up. “Again,” he hisses, “I am not his father. I just helped raise him after Casey died. We’re not even similar biologically.”
Leo snorts. “Says the guy who was raised by a rat.”
“That isn’t the same thing!” Sure, he raised the kid, but he knew CJ didn’t actually consider him a real father figure. He just took over for Casey Sr when she died. He ran the kid ragged when they were surviving through the end of the world, he wouldn’t be surprised if there was some discontentment running around in CJ’s head.
The curtain for the tv room parts, revealing Splinter in a king’s costume, complete with a robe and scepter and everything, and CJ dressed up in a green witch’s hat and cape.
“What was that about ‘bad livelihood choices?’” CJ asks.
Leo gestures angrily at the sheet. “This lame excuse of a turtle was planning on going out wearing just a sheet as a costume!”
“It’s a good costume!” Leonardo looks over to try and salvage his lazy choices, but he loses all hope when he sees the appalled look on Splinter’s face.
“What son of mine chooses to wear something so tasteless!?” Leonardo’s face heats up in unexpected shame, and he’s pretty sure he hears snickering behind him.
“Oh, come on,” he says “It’s a classic! Case,” CJ straightens his back slightly, and Leonardo feels his chest grow tighter, “c’mon, what do you think?”
CJ pinches his mouth then sends him a pitying smile. “It’s… less than I was expecting.”
“What.”
As the rest of his younger family starts cackling behind him, CJ gestures to all of them. “Well, I remember you telling me when I was younger that you guys dressed up in really detailed costumes that you spent weeks making or preparing.” CJ points at the sheet. “And I’m pretty sure you just pulled that out from your laundry.”
Leonardo scowls at him and finally shrugs off the sheet. “How come you didn’t forget stupid stuff like that like a normal child?”
A heavy arm lands around his shoulder and Raph pulls him into a side hug. “Hey, cheer up! I got a spare outfit from last year you can borrow for the night.”
“Can’t I just put on one of your flannels, call myself a lumberjack, and we call it even?”
Mikey jumps up on the back of his shell. “Nope! You know the rules. We all have to wear a costume when we’re trick or treating!”
Leonardo sighs. “Alright. Show me what you got, Raph.” Great. This is just great.
-
Once Leonardo was forced into a cowboy costume of all things, everyone grabbed their pillowcases and hiked up to the surface. They made their way over to the MOMA where they met up with April, dressed up in a surgeon’s outfit, and Casey Sr, donned head to toe in all the gear of a famous female wrestler that Leonardo forgot the name of.
There was a delay in getting to the nearest apartment sector of Manhattan since Casey and Raph had a wrestling competition upon seeing each other. Leonardo thought about breaking them up but CJ kept cheering on Casey, so he let it go.
Keeping CJ happy was the reason why he even agreed to go up, so he’ll focus on just that for the night. That was worth every moment of embarrassment from being seen in a costume.
As they kept moving, Leonardo found that it wasn’t a hard feat to accomplish. The second they turned a corner and spotted groups of kids running around in costumes and decorations like intricate jack o'lanterns set down on porches and fake spiderwebs all around, CJ’s eyes lit up. Everything’s filled with orange and red, probably the two colors Case knew best, but the environment isn’t oppressive at all. It’s warm, inviting, comfortable, things he only had fragments of when growing up.
And the kids. Leonardo had never considered himself the type to be fond of children, but the sheer number of children that flooded the streets wearing silly costumes makes everything more alive. The apocalypse felt so dead when their numbers were already dwindling, but now he’s recalling the days when Cassandra first found CJ, forcing them all to experience a breath of life for the first time in years.
Then Leonardo has to do a double take, because are some of these kids…?
A little girl in a poofy pink dress runs by on their right yelling with glee and carrying a candy bag almost bigger than her. She almost trips over the sidewalk with a yelp, but Raph catches her just before she hits the ground.
“Whoa, I gotchu kiddo!” The little girl’s eyes are shut tight, but she opens them as she realizes that she never hit the ground. She turns to look at Raph. “You gotta watch yourself with it being dark out here and all.”
The little girl nods with a fanged smile. “Sorry mister!” She wiggles in Raph’s hand and he puts her back on the ground. “I’m not used to a big dress like this. It’s so big that it’s covering my tail!” The little girl lifts up the dress slightly enough so that a definitely-connected-to-her-body reptile tail can be seen sliding back and forth on the ground.
Raph gasps with extra emotion. “You have a tail?! So do I!” Raph turns around and brandishes his tail, the behemoth it is in comparison to her’s.
“NO WAY!”
Leonardo shakes his head fondly at the little yokai girl’s interactions with Raph. “No way.”
Donnie looks up at Leonardo. “I’m guessing there wasn’t much of a yokai-human bond in the future?”
“Not in the beginning,” Leonardo elaborates. He watches as CJ swoops in and helps direct the kid back to her group of yokai friends. “As the years went on, the humans started to realize that we existed and were trying to fight for our lives back, so we decided to form an alliance with them.” The little girl high-fives another kid in the group, a human boy in a superman costume. “I never expected it to happen here.”
“Yes yes, the miracles that spawn from an unforeseen until time-travel-shenanigans alien invasion, or something. Yin and yang, the good you find in the evil and that jazz.”
Leonardo scoffs. “I always wanted a normal life for him, one where he could actually live up here and go to high school and find his own way in life and be happy.”
Leo suddenly slides into the conversation in such a way that makes Leonardo narrow his eyes. “Oh, you wanted the best life for Casey?”
“Stop.”
“That sounds like something a DAD WOULD WANT!”
Leonardo leans down over him. “I know what you are.”
Leo tilts his head innocently. “Anakin Skywalker?”
“A JACKASS!”
A thwap on the back of Leonardo’s leg forces him to cut the conversation short. He looks down and sees Splinter rubbing his tail.
“Could we please not argue when we could be spending this time trick or treating?!” Splinter complains. “The one time of year we get free candy and you boys are wasting it!”
Leo rolls his eyes and holds up his hands. “Fine, but I'm not done with you, old man!” Leo runs off before Leonardo can argue with him or attempt to wrangle his head.
It takes a few more minutes for them to finally reach their first stop, an apartment with a skeleton wreath hanging over the door. It’s a quaint spot, but Donnie likely already knew the contents of the candy inside; peanut free, optional gummy option, possibly a handful of fidget toys. Leonardo would never forget how his Donatello would go the extra mile to track the best neighborhoods in New York. They always came back home with more candy than they (sans Raph) could carry.
Mikey starts to run up the steps with extra energy, but he freezes halfway up. He turns around and grins at CJ.
“Cmon Casey!” He shouts.
CJ’s eyes widened. “Wh-” Case looks back and forth from everyone around him. “Are you sure? I don’t even know what to do.”
Mikey rushes back down, grabs CJ’s arm, and drags him back up. CJ looks back at Leonardo with a fearful expression, but Leonardo just lifts his hands up in surrender with a smile. He laughs when CJ scowls back.
Mikey stops CJ at the top step. “Just ring the doorbell, wait for the person inside to open the door, then shout trick or treat! Sometimes you don’t even have to say it, they’ll just give it to you anyway.”
CJ looks back and forth from the door to Mikey. "They'll just give you candy?" Mikey nods. CJ looks back at the door and takes a deep breath. "No tricks? No payment?" Again, Mikey nods. CJ looks back to the door. His hand rises slowly to press the doorbell, just about to press it.
CJ pauses. "What if I mess it up?"
Donnie whips around CJ and presses the doorbell for him.
Mikey gasps at him. "Donnie! This was a learning moment for him!"
Donnie rolls his eyes. "Oh please, we'll do this at least twenty more times. He'll have his moment at some point."
As shadows move behind the door, CJ suddenly straightens his back and goes stock still.
It feels a bit ridiculous, but seeing CJ get nervous from something as small as this makes Leonardo’s mind cloud up with the need to go up there and pull him back to safety. This is the safest they've ever been. They're surrounded by the best warriors they've ever met who also just so happen to be their direct relatives. They're living in a world, a time where they're finally free, but Leonardo can't help but fear for him.
The door opens to a young Hispanic woman in a messy bun and a detailed gothic vampire outfit. A large orange bowl is full to the brim of different brands and flavors of lollipops and suckers.
CJ stutters for a second before shouting, at the top of his lungs, "TRICK OR TREAT!"
Everyone flinches at the volume, except for Casey, who applauds. CJ turns toward Mikey with an innocent grin. "How was that?!"
Still wincing, Mikey gives him a thumbs up.
The woman laughs and rubs her ears. "Damn kid, that was loud! I feel like I should let you guys get extra for that."
CJ gasps with childlike delight. "Really?"
Leo runs up the steps and nudges him aside with an awkward laugh. "Maybe don't encourage him? He'll probably shout at every door like that if you do."
This comment leads to the woman sending a knowing look towards CJ. "First Halloween?" CJ nods sheepishly. She leans in closer with a devilish grin, dropping a handful of candy in CJ's bag. "Then here's a tip for you. A new guy moved in a few doors down about a week ago, and I saw him carry a whole box of king sized candy bars inside this morning."
Donnie snatches at the candy she offers next. "I'm adding it to the map and we will head over immediately. Oh and uh, thank you!"
As everyone else quickly grabs their own handful of candy, CJ stands to the side and stares into his own bag.
When they all start walking towards the next stop, Leonardo slows down to walk in step with CJ. "How's the first haul?"
CJ looks up at him with a smile. "She gave us all so much! Are all houses like this?"
“Basically, yeah,” Leonardo says.
CJ goes to say something else, but then he seems to notice something and pauses. "Wait… didn't you get some?"
Leonardo scoffs. "Nah, I'm too old for that."
"Too old?"
"Yeah. Halloween is more of a kids thing. Some people in college go to parties, but us adults don't do much besides follow our kids around or hand out candy." Leonardo sends a dirty look at a grinning Mikey when he says that second part.
CJ frowns at his answer. “That seems like a stupid rule to have.”
Leonardo shrugs. “I don’t have much of a sweet tooth these days, so I’m not complaining.”
The comment does not seem to satiate CJ. “How about this,” CJ reaches into his bag and pulls out a fist-full of candy. “Once we’re done, you can have half of my candy!”
“Whoa hold on Casey, this is your haul. I’m not going to take it.”
Instead of listening to Leonardo, CJ forces his left hand open and shoves a handful of hard candies into his fist.
"You're going to enjoy this night just like I am," he says with a tone of assertiveness. CJ runs off to the rest of their family, leaving Leonardo to stare at the handful of jawbreakers he was given.
-
For whatever reason CJ had knocking around in his head, he kept handing Leonardo half of the candy he got. At one point he even tried to shove it all in Raph's bag (making sure to not put in any peanuts), but then CJ would catch him and send him those pleading eyes again. So, he got a bag.
Incidentally, him getting a bag led to him taking the opportunity to confiscate anything he deemed bad. Most of it was candy with nuts that somehow slipped through Donnie's radar. At one house he had to confiscate a baggie of chocolate covered espresso beans from Donnie and Mikey before they could try it out. They did not need any more energy than they already have. For that matter, who thought espresso beans were a good thing to give to children!?
Thankfully, before Leonardo can rip his nonexistent hair out, Splinter suggests they rest up at the nearby entrance to Central Park.
The kids unanimously decide to circle up and trade different brands amongst each other. CJ, bless him, doesn’t know most of what he’s been given, so it eventually becomes a showcase of CJ trying each piece that’s offered to him.
Leonardo watches their antics from a nearby bench. He’s thankful that they didn’t try to drag him into their little circle, he’s not sure what they would have done if Leo started to dump all his butterfingers in Leonardo’s bag. If Leo didn’t like them, then what makes him think that Leonardo would?
He’s brought out of his thoughts when Splinter sits down on the bench next to them with a sigh.
“You have no idea,” he says, “how difficult this gets as you get older.” He stretches his back. “I swear, you kids just keep getting more and more energy as the years add up.”
Leonardo gives him a halfhearted chuckle as he adjusts his hat. “I am having more fun out here than I thought I would,” he admits. “But I’m not much of a kid anymore.”
Splinter hums. “True. But then again, you will always be like little baby turtles to me. You four were so small and adorable!” He sighs. “I remember the first few days I had you and your brothers. They were the worst nights of sleep I ever had! Always making your little turtle noises and crying when it got too cold.”
Leonardo can’t help the snort of laughter that escapes from him. “I can believe that.” He looks over at CJ. “When Casey died, CJ was only two years old. He still needed someone to raise him, and I was really the only person around that could actually take care of Junior. Don was always working on our defenses, Mikey had to take care of anyone that got hurt, and Raph was already…” Leonardo’s voice catches and he coughs to release it. “Anyway, babysitting duty just so happened to land on me. I thought I wasn’t getting any sleep before, but when I had to deal with Case? I became a living zombie.”
“Babysitting?” Splinter scoffs. “I could hardly call raising a child for fifteen years through the destruction of your world babysitting.”
“Again with the-” Leonardo exhales sharply, then releases it in a heavy sigh. “It wasn’t just me that did it. It took pretty much the entire resistance to raise that kid. Everyone was basically his aunt or uncle at one point or another. Donnie was, Mikey was, April too. Heck, even Draxum pitched in a couple of times!”
“You say that,” Splinter says, “but that kid looks up to you like any child would to their father. I would know, that’s the look you would always give me. It’s the look you still give me.”
That catches Leonardo off guard. He looks back at Splinter, already giving him a knowing grin. “You may think that he doesn’t see you as a father, but he does. Just as much as I can tell that you see him as a son.”
Then, CJ shouts something that almost causes Leonardo’s brain to short circuit.
“Ojiisan!” Leonardo’s head snaps towards CJ, who doesn’t seem to notice anything off with what he’s said. “Did you want any candy? I’m offering now before Casey starts hoarding it all.”
“DON’T GO GIVING AWAY MY CANDY, GIVE AWAY YOUR OWN!” The two of them then dive into a mini wrestling contest.
Leonardo blinks. “What-” he shoots up to his feet. “What did he say?”
“I believe he called me his grandfather. And in Japanese, no less.” Splinter hops off of the stool with a snarky look that he knows he inherited. “I wonder what that makes you?”
Leonardo can’t find anything to say to that, so Splinter pats his leg with a chuckle before making his way over to the kids and requesting some kit kats.
There’s not much Leonardo can will himself to do besides watch as CJ escapes Casey’s hold and hands Splinter a pile of kit kats.
When he was wrangling with CJ as he grew up, he always thought that CJ didn't deserve a parent like him. He deserved someone that actually knew what they were doing when it came to kids. Casey literally worked with little brownie scouts to create an entire brownie empire. If there was anyone that deserved to be the parent, it was her.
But Casey is sitting right next to him now, and she's more of a big sister to him now than anything else. CJ's looking at Leonardo now, waving him over for a seat in the circle on his other side.
He looks down at the bag of candy in his hand and he can feel a smile begin to form on his face.
Leonardo hauls the bag over his shoulder and goes to sit down next to his son.
“So, got any more of those jawbreakers you feel like handing off?”
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heart4gyu · 1 year
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friends date pt.2 || nicholas x reader
note: finally right? it’s been like ages since pt.1 but i finally got around to finishing this ^_^ hope you enjoy give me some feedback i always love to hear it !! (also i didn’t proofread i just wanted to post this already aaah)
wc: 2,533 words
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as you walked along side each other, you tried to stay involved in the conversation but you really couldn’t stop thinking of what your mom had said. ‘make him your boyfriend already’ she had to be joking. how could she say that? he was your best friend, for years, basically your whole life. and in what way did y’all act like a couple? you literally just acted like friends… whatever, just let it go, she doesn’t understand. no one needed to understand your relationship with nicholas except you and him, and that’s all you needed. “you okay?” he said, interrupting your thoughts. “hm? oh yeah i’m fine, my mom was just being… weird,” you said, laughing it off awkwardly. “oh uh, you wanna talk about it?” he offered but you just shook your head and he let it go. he knew you well enough to know that if you wanted to tell him you would, sooner or later.
you tried to not think about it too much because you knew he’d notice. “so where are we going this time?” you asked, trying to get back to your usual self. "hmm..." he started, staring up at the sky pretending to think about it, "it's a surprise." you chuckled, looking down at the ground, and he looked down at you beside him with the sweetest smile that you just so happened to miss. "oh i bet i’ll be so surprised,” you said, sarcastically. there really wasn’t anywhere you hadn’t taken each other. after all these years, you knew every single one of each others favorite spots. but you could never get bored of any of them, or maybe you’d just never get bored of him…"come on, we're almost there," he said, holding his arm out for you to link yours. you hesitated but took his offer quickly, giving him a smile as to not give yourself away. he always did that, that's how you always walked with him, especially in crowded places. it's normal, friends link arms. you and nicholas are friends who link arms. though, what wasn’t quite normal, was the feeling in your stomach when his skin came into contact with yours. not to be cliche but you felt butterflies in your stomach as you walked so closely to him.
the walk after that wasn’t too long. everything in the city was pretty close, you tried to figure out where he was taking you. you’d already passed up most of your favorite arcades, so no, and the science museum was your favorite but he passed it up too. the zoo wasn’t too far from here just on the other side of the big local park in the center of downtown. “hey, i said surprise, stop trying to figure it out,” he said, waving a hand in front of your face. you laughed, swatting his hand away, “okay okay.” “it’s this way,” he said, turning toward where the zoo was. maybe you were right, you hadn’t been to the zoo in a while. you smiled to yourself, proudly, there hadn’t been a time when you hadn’t guessed correctly where he was taking you. then he suddenly came to a stop, and was pulling the door of a huge building open. “wait- i thought we were going to the zoo,” you said, kind of off guard. he smiled, “nope, you guessed wrong. one point for me.” you rolled your eyes and looked around still trying to figure out where he’d brought you. you’d never been here before and the building was unfamiliar, despite you and nicholas having seen most of the city. the lights were dim and it was cold, you could make out waves and ripples painted onto the wall though. “here, sit here while i get our passes,” he said, walking you over to a bench at the side of the room. he got in line and your gaze found the reception desk, finally noticing to blue led letters behind the employees. aquarium. you smiled to yourself, feeling a blush rise up in your cheeks. you had sent him a tiktok a couple weeks ago of one of the biggest aquariums in the world. it was beautiful and you added that you had never been to one before. but honestly you thought he didn’t take the time to watch all the tiktoks you sent him daily or even read your replies. you almost teared up at the thought of someone caring so much.
a couple minutes passed before he came back holding both wristbands in his hand. when you noticed him coming back, you stood up taking a couple steps toward him. you smiled shyly, and he returned it taking your hand to put your wristband on. “were you surprised?” he asked, looking up at you while he adjusted the band. “yeah, i’ve never been to an aquarium before,” you said, smiling fondly at him. “i know, i remember you told me so i wanted to be the first one to bring you,” he said, handing you his band. his hand was warm when you brought it up to wrap the band around his wrist. “hm, well who else would want to bring me,” you scoffed, lightheartedly. you kept your head low to hide the embarrassment dusting your cheeks, but the look he had in his eyes was not one of pity. he looked at you with stars in his eyes, you’d have to be an idiot to not see how much he adored you. you looked back up at him once you were finished, taking a step away from him toward the double doors. but he stopped you, taking hold of one of your hands, pulling you back a bit. “y/n, anyone would be happy to bring you,” he said, taking a step toward you. he looked at you and you could tell he wanted to say something but he didn’t. he stared at his hand holding yours, then intertwined your fingers. you felt goosebumps from his hand being completely connected to yours. “guess i just always get to be the lucky one,” he said, looking back up at you. your faces only an inch or two away from each other but neither of you moved away for a couple of seconds. you’d never felt tension like this, not with him at least. you kind of hoped he’d lean in some more, or confess something to you in that moment. he backed up and gave you a small smile, and you couldn’t quite read the look in his eyes as he walked you through the entrance.
it was nice, there wasn’t too many people but just enough to fill the silence with quiet conversations. there was a long hallway with marine life facts before the first room. once you entered, the first tank was huge, taking up the whole wall. there was a family and a couple in the room with you. the kids sitting pointing up at the tank and the couple sitting on a bench, leaning into each other. you looked down at your intertwined hands again. finally you looked up into the tank and it was almost like you were inside the tank because of how large it was. you watched the fish make their rounds around the tank, the larger animals taking longer than the small ones. you gasped softly when you saw a small shark making it’s way around. “look, a shark,” you said, only loud enough for him to hear. you pointed excitedly with the hand that wasn’t holding his. “want a picture with it?” he said, letting go of your hand and scooting back quickly when you nodded. he took out his phone and you posed pointing up at the shark before it could move away. he snapped a few, then looked down at his phone, satisfied. he moved beside you to show you the pictures, placing his other hand on your back as you swiped through. you flinched at his touch but not enough for him to notice. what was up with you today? he was always like this with you. both of you were, you were both touchy. but friends are touchy, it’s fine that’s how people show their love. but if you were only his friend and he was like this with you does that mean he’s like this with his other friends? no. no this is not jealousy. you weren’t jealous because he’s just your friend. and it’s okay if he’s touchy with you and it’s okay if he’s touchy with his other friends too… except you still felt somewhat bothered by the thought. you looked up at him and he looked back at you, staying like that for a second. you were close again, really close and you felt yourself leaning towards him. in that moment you almost forgot where you were and that there were other people in the room with you. you blushed again as you took a step back, “uh yeah, they look nice,” you said, hurriedly walking past him, toward the next room.
you spent the rest of your time avoiding his touch, like when your hands brushed past each other as you walked or when you both tried to pet the same stingray. and of course, he noticed. he noticed something was off since he picked you up but he didn’t want to force you to tell him. “you sure you’re okay?” he said, sitting beside you on the small wooden bench. you had decided to stop and take a break, finding vending machines near the bathrooms. he handed you a water bottle and you drank from it before answering. “yeah i’m fine,” you smiled at him as you handed him the bottle. he nodded, as he took a sip from it too. indirect kiss. you looked away, hoping the heat in your cheeks wasn’t too obvious. “the hallway before the last room is made completely of glass, like a semi-cylinder, i think you’ll really like it,” he said, as he stood. he held his hand out for you to grab it so you did. “you’ve been here before?” you asked, feeling shy all of sudden. “yeah, my mom brought me a couple of times,” he said, leading you towards the next area. you nodded, but for some reason, you felt relieved. the doorway leading into the hallway that nicholas mentioned was glowing, much brighter than the rest of the aquarium. once you stepped in you were in awe, it was like nothing you’d ever seen before. the fish were swimming all around you and the water cast these wonderful shadows onto the floor beneath you. “it’s beautiful,” you said, as you continued walking. he stayed behind as you went on, not knowing where to look. too many colorful animals and plants to choose from. you reached up trying to touch the curving glass above you but you could just barely graze it. “yeah, beautiful,” he said, but when you looked back at him he wasn’t looking up at the tank like you were. he was looking at you. you both blushed when you made eye contact for a split second. then both of you looked away abruptly, trying to find anything else to look at.
you made it through the hall and into the last room. looking around quickly, and taking a couple pictures. but when you exited the aquarium, you didn’t hold hands or link arms like you usually did. you just walked silently, side by side, onto the deck outside. it looked over the ocean and the sun was setting as you made it out. you both stopped at the edge to watch the sunset, folding your arms over the wooden rail. “did you call me beautiful in there?” you finally spoke after a few minutes of silence. he groaned, hiding his face in his hands. “i couldn’t help it, i’m sorry, it was weird,” he said, his face still buried in his hands and you laughed. “no it wasn’t weird… it was kinda sweet,” you said and he looked back up at you. he watched your face for any sign that you didn’t really mean it but you just smiled. “… no one’s ever said that to me,” you said, making him raise his eyebrows, beyond shocked. “like ever? how?” he said, standing up straight from his previous hunched over position. “well just my parents or friends when i’m all dressed up, but never just like that,” you said, looking down at the water under the deck. the sun was gone now just leaving the moons reflection on the dark water, but you could still see and hear the small waves washing in. “well you are beautiful… everyday, just like that,” he said, turning his body to face you now. you just smiled at him with your head resting on your hand. he knew you weren’t good at taking compliments, never really believed anyone when they praised you. you always have half-hearted ‘thank you’s or smiles that didn’t reach your eyes. so when he took a step into your personal space and placed a hand under your chin, he just wanted to show you that he was being genuine from the bottom of his heart. “i really mean it y/n,” he said, looking directly into your eyes. the bright, yellow lights that were hung across the pier making your eyes shine just slightly more than they usually did. he didn’t just think you were beautiful, he knew it and he was mesmerized by you right now just like he always was. your chest felt tight as you placed your hand above his on your cheek, leaning into his warmth. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath, and when you looked up at him again, you were sure. with your other hand, you pulled him down until his lips came into contact with yours. and you kissed him, like you never thought you’d want to kiss anyone. his lips were soft and gentle as they moved against yours. after a minute, he pulled away and placed your hand on his chest. “my heart’s gonna explode,” he said, making you laugh because his heart was in fact beating so fast. he placed his forehead on yours and closed his eyes, unable to contain the smile that remained on his lips. “you don’t know how long i’ve waited for you to do that,” he said, barely above a whisper. so you kissed him again, this time more passionately. “then i won’t ever make you wait again,” you replied, just as quietly. now he took his turn to kiss you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he smiled into the kiss. and when you lost count of how many times he kissed you and you kissed him, he walked you home. with your arm wrapped around his except this time it wasn’t in a “friends” way and you didn’t even try to deny it. you leaned into him and he kissed the top of your head and every single thing about this felt right. the only thing you were worried about now was how you would explain this all to your mom…
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allylikethecat · 4 days
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I need gatty with gentle forehead kisses it is so important to me I’m so glad you’re doing more prompts I literally only check tumblr to see if you’ve posted 😭😭😭
Hello there kind anon who sent me this prompt in literally August but I am the WORST and just now filling it. I hope you're still here and I am so very grateful for your patience and also extremely sorry for the extremely long wait. I hope this isn't an epic disappointment. Working on it today made me smile amongst all of the sadness of this era being over. If anyone else wants to send a prompt from the kiss me with your eyes closed list and doesn't mind waiting apparently months, the list can be found HERE. Thank you so much for sending this in, and I apologize again for being the absolute worst and taking so long to finish it! I hope you have a great weekend and that you have a great week!
❤️Ally
Gentle. Forehead. Kisses. 
“Hey,” said George softly, slipping easily into Matty’s space with the ease and confidence of someone who had been doing so for years. He wrapped his arms around Matty’s narrow waist, and hooked his chin over Matty’s shoulder, the fabric of his well loved tee shirt wash-soft against the underside of George’s jaw. 
“Hey,” said Matty, not even looking away from the easel he had set up in the courtyard, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he stared at the canvas in concentration, an eruption of color marring the surface.
Following the final show of their tour, George had very quickly found himself back in the studio the next week, working through the backlog of production projects he had been procrastinating on. Meanwhile, Matty had moved through their home like a ghost, sleeping all day, and awake half the night, limping aimlessly from room to room, unsure what to do with himself without the rigid structure, the routine and accountability of tour. 
His therapist had recommended he find a hobby, one fully separated from work because as much as Matty loved music, lived and breathed it, at the end of the day, it was still his job. 
Reading just made him want to write, and every time he sat down to work on his novel he ended up scrawling lyrics on a napkin instead. His knee couldn’t currently handle the physicality of running or even jiu jitsu at the moment which left him restless. George is the one that had suggested he try painting, sheepishly holding out a bag of acrylic paints and brushes. 
Matty had taken to it quickly, swirls of color smeared across the canvas that now covered their dining room table as Matty lay them out to dry. 
“It looks good,” said George, tilting his head slightly as he took in the orange and yellows that covered the surface. He didn’t always understand Matty’s art, but he liked that it put the light back in his eyes, that he got excited bringing each finished piece inside and resting it on the dining room table. He kept making jokes about starting an Etsy shop, about donating the proceeds to charity. George wasn’t sure if he was actually joking. 
“Thanks,” said Matty, adding another stroke of yellow, blending it with the orange. 
He wouldn’t say it, he couldn’t find the words, but he hoped that George realized the painting was him. Not him the tangible sense, but how he made Matty feel, his insides all twisted up with love and desire, and yearning and the ever present disbelief, even after all these years, that George still wanted him back. Unlike the dark grays and blacks and whites with violent splashes of red that had made up Matty’s earlier works, this one was different, it was happy. Looking at it made Matty feel happy the same way George did. He would be keeping this one. This painting was for them.
“You’re back early,” said Matty, twisting in George’s arms. George snorted. Matty had a smudge of orange paint on his nose, a streak of yellow in his hair. 
“I’m actually late,” George said, and Matty frowned. 
“What time is it?” he asked, dipping his brush in the pint glass of water he had commandeered from the kitchen and leaving it to soak.
“Little after six,” said George, bemused, it wasn’t the first time that Matty had lost track of time while absorbed in a project, and he doubted it would be the last.
“Oh,” said Matty, his cheeks flushing, “I didn’t realize I had been out here so long.” 
George couldn’t help it, he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against Matty’s forehead, his sun warmed curls tickling his lips as they brushed against his face.
“You’re really fucking cute,” said George, “you know that right?” 
Matty pretended to scoff, “I’m not cute,” he said with faux indignation. “I am a very manly, masculine, adult man, I am not cute.” 
“Fucking adorable,” said George, pressing another kiss to Matty’s forehead, “like a little woodland creature, all small and fluffy and cute.” 
Matty just made a huffing noise, standing up on his tiptoes to capture George’s mouth with his own, slipping his tongue between George’s eager lips. When he pulled away they were both breathing heavily, and George now had some of the orange paint on his face as well. 
“Now tell me,” said Matty, his voice thick with arousal, “was that cute.” 
George just chuckled,  “cute as fuck.” 
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thegirlwhowrites642 · 2 months
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Hey
Just saw everything that happened around your recent post about Harry and Ron and I’m really sorry for everything that you had to go through, I hope you are alright. Please do not let unreasonable people bring down your spirit, you are an amazing soul and an amazing writer (thoroughly enjoyed Back to the Eclipse); you have no idea how much your metas have helped people like me.
I have always loved reading but as the rebellious teen that I was I refused to read anything that was very popular so I had never read the Harry Potter books or watched the movies and I was kinda oblivious to the situation of the fandom as well. However last year I decided to read the books and guess what I absolutely fell in love with Ginny and Harry both as individual characters and as a couple(perks of reading the series without any preconceived biases), both of them are my top two favourite characters in the series (though Ginny kinda takes the crown for me). After finishing the series I was really excited to see what interesting opinions and takes people have not just for Ginny and Harry but for other characters in the series as well. However due to my inexperience with fandoms in general, the stupid me decided to start with reddit and quora (I still don’t understand why I did that to myself) and OMFG, the amount Ginny and Harry hate literally drove me crazy.
Honestly from the beginning I didn’t have much expectation from HarryXanyone other than Ginny shippers and Hermione’s arse worshippers; but the romione shippers and Ron fans????
The way the Ron and Romione fans slander Ginny (and also Harry, but to a much lesser extent than Ginny) was truly disturbing for me to read which lead me into questioning my own judgement about Ginny’s character and Hinny and I started believing that maybe I’m completely wrong about everything I thought about Ginny and Harry, because I really love Ron and I like romione as well despite all its problems and I thought that those people on the interenet have read the books so many more times than I have so “inevitably” they have to be right (and all of this I have to say was a very wrong thing on my part, though in my defence I was really busy with my Uni so I didn’t really have the time to think through things).
Then one fine day I stumbled upon your tumblr and you wouldn’t believe my happiness to finally come across someone who shares my ideas and opinions about characters, writing and literature in general but is much better and fearless than I can ever be in expressing those opinions. Your metas have reinforced my love for Ginny and Harry as individual characters and a couple again and has inspired me to be absolutely shameless in expressing my love for them. In fact you have also kinda inspired me to start my own tumblr account and ramble about my favourite characters, books and literature which I might do in near future.
Sorry for the rant
Please continue to be the amazing person that you are and continue to inspire people.
Loads of love from India    
Ok, first of all, you guys are so nice but I swear what happened is absolutely not a big deal.
People are absolutely free to disagree with what I say, even if I wish they did it when there's actually something two people can have different opinions on.
That said, I'm so happy you liked Back to the Eclipse and that my metas arrived to someone. It's really crazy the gaslighting this fandom does when it comes to hinny, isn't it?
Also, I am so happy to have inspired you to share your opinions!
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vinmauro · 6 months
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make me write: 5k edition
hey hi hello, it's me, ya boi. i haven't done one of these in a while and i finally found my drive to write so here i am. sorry for the late posting i literally decided to do this at work and i want to see the poll finished before i start writing on wednesday. only doing 5k because i'm trying to get back into writing after being spotty for months.
acey’s poll breakdown
this poll is to determine which of my wips will be worked on for 1 week for a goal of 5k
in case of a tie, i’ll split 2.5k between both
the writing won’t start until wednesday 12 am and will end the following thursday 12 am (est)
you may (and it’s highly encouraged!!) periodically message me for snippets of which won
you may reblog and random people may vote idc
if you’d like to do this, may i point you to the original poll post that i’m basing this off. but also feel free to do what you want bc, after all, this is for fun!!
the wips
another life
pairing: eddie munson x nancy wheeler prompt: things you said when we were on top of the world plot: musician!nancy wheeler & actor!eddie munson are getting a divorce! read all about it on page six. in an era of social media and high expectations, two people fell in love with versions of themselves they no longer know or recognize.
city lights
pairing: eddie munson x nancy wheeler prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep plot: affectionately called bartender au where nancy is a bartender, currently lost and trying to find herself in the new city she’s been living in for the past year. eddie is a musician in this but not terribly successful, playing small clubs here and there. there’s a past.
tied pt 3
pairing: steve harrington x chrissy cunningham prompt: things you said when you thought i was asleep (pt 4 will also be this one) plot: the third part of tied me to you where there’s a funky little time jump and it’ll cover summer, fall and new years eve of 1990. steve’s point of view. this is where the when harry met sally vibes come in. (this may or may not be rewritten bc it's 10k already and i haven't even gotten to fall or i'm going to have to rethink all of this)
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chirpsythismorning · 8 months
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Hey ! How are you ? I just saw a Video on Instagram and I wondered if what they say is true ?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvWDN3iMEQs/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I really hope it’s not true … ( and I hope that the link works lol )
This is 100% false so don’t worry about it!
I do sort of pity these influencer/podcast types, who give their audience the impression they are valuable sources for information, when it’s clear they’re just using speculation from fans, as opposed to actual verified sources. Them throwing out stuff like this should make people question consuming their content at all honestly. Because the whole 2027 date was thrown out on Twitter by a fan account that was merely exaggerating to get people talking, and has literally not come from anywhere else. Literally nowhere. Predictably the exaggeration spread to people who don’t know much about what’s going on and they treated it like verified information.
I do know that sometimes depending on the subject, it can be difficult to navigate information and know what is true and what isn’t.
But to say Stranger Things 5 isn’t going to start filming until 2027, is so ill-informed it’s hilarious. A claim like this implies the strike won’t end for another two years, which literally nobody is anticipating it to last that long, let alone even a year.
When it comes to Stranger Things specifically, the writer’s strike started in May, right before filming for ST5 was set to begin officially in June. And even despite the strike(s), for the last 3 months, set designers and the like have been working on preparing for filming with pre-production duties. So they have literally been ready to film for roughly two months now and are just using this time on hiatus to their advantage if anything, since they don’t have to worry about rushing bc filming is happening simultaneously like they usually do.
This means that whenever the strike ends officially, like for real, production for Stranger Things 5 is very likely going to be ready to start soon after that. Not the day of or even days after, but likely within weeks at most.
What it will really come down to is working out availability for the cast members since they have to organize a new schedule that aligns with the timetable they’re dealing with post strike, in contrast to what the original plan was.
The original timetable for ST5 filming was June 2023-June 2024. Let’s just say hypothetically the strike ends officially in mid September. In that case, filming for ST5 would likely start within weeks after that, some time in October. If that were to happen, filming would likely go from October 2023-October 2024, still giving them a year of filming like they originally planned before the strike(s).
For reference ST4 finished filming in September 2021 and premiered in May & July 2022. In the case filming would start in September/October, we’d likely be looking at another Summer release for the final season in 2025.
So, if you’re hoping for a 2024 release, don’t hold your breath. In fact just let that go because it’s not happening.
Once the strike is over it’ll be a matter of making sure everyone’s available and schedules align in areas that are necessary. Making sure actors that have scenes together are on set at the same time is going to be a top priority, as well as just the main cast in general aligning their availability with their other potential projects outside of ST (like David who was also going to be filming Thunderbolts simultaneously with ST in Atlanta), so that it works for everyone and can be done in a timely manner. Then making sure supporting actors fit into that as well despite them having less screen time, aligning with each other is important.
I’m optimistic things could end sooner than we were anticipating, like I know some people were saying the strikes could go until January next year. Even now though I still don’t really want to fully get my hopes up because negotiations could continue for weeks upon months if the guilds and studios are still far apart.
Let’s just continue to keep a close eye on what’s going on before getting ahead of ourselves one way or another.
But for some good news, the AMPTP (the studios) have reached out to the WGA to meet on Friday officially for negotiations again. They have not met since before the strike began in May so this is very good news. That alone should be a good sign that the strike is very very unlikely to last another 2 years, so you can just ignore that 2027 rumor, it is baseless!
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ghostsofmemories · 2 years
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hey lovely people! i am finally making a real writeblr introduction to pin to my profile, because i finally like my url and thus am happy to put it on a little graphic. anyway, let’s get on with this this.
some basics:
my name is August (he/him)!
i’m 20
i’m from Michigan (US)
i’m aroace and trans!
i write literary fiction novels and poetry (and maybe short stories if i can ever figure those out)
i’m a cancer and an infj! not super into star signs or even mbti anymore but it’s still cool
my projects (in no particular order):
Where Edges Meet Soft Things, a poetry collection i've been selling my soul to for the last four years. it’s about joy and pain and fathers and the past. it's everything to me.
Insect Poison, a novel i have been fighting with for 5 years now. it was originally about a serial killer and a group of teenagers he kidnaps, but now it’s follows a set of twins, Robert and Ramona, and the turn the family takes after Ramona drowns in a lake in the middle of the night. did her brother do it? was it an accident? did she lowkey deserve it? these are questions i cannot answer because i do not know. what i can tell you is that i'll finish this book even if it kills me, and there will definitely be a ghost in it.
i run a little side project i call The Photo Archive, which is essentially me scanning and posting vintage photographs from old magazines and books (mainly national geographic but there's many others as well) to make sure they don't get lost to time and that the photographers are credited. i run a separate tumblr for it (@thephotoarchive) but the brunt of the project takes place on pinterest, where i'm able to sort the photos into boards based on source material and other people can share them to their own boards. if you ever see my poetry overlaid on some cool vintage pictures, that's where they came from! it's really just a passion project, but if you're a collage artist or photography enthusiast i'm sure scrolling through the pinterest for a couple minutes will be fun!
okay so now if you’re only really here for writing, feel free to peace out because this is where i start talking about other stuff! if other stuff interests you, feel free to carry on.
my hobbies outside writing include reading, art, photography, crochet, guitar, singing + music production, and applying for jobs i’m not qualified for. 
here are some other fun facts/some of my favorite things if you’re still here:
i have a wonderful cat named Nemo
my favorite books are The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett, Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr, The Hollow Kind by Andy Davidson, Mouthful of Birds by Samanta Schweblin, and Time is a Mother by Ocean Vuong
i have a slightly unhealthy (but otherwise harmless) fixation on Taylor Swift
if you also like Taylor Swift i already know you’re wondering. my favorite album is evermore but i truly do love them all very much
i very rarely watch movies or TV shows, but my favorite show is The Haunting of Hill House (and all the Mike Flanagan series are in my top 5 shows, Midnight Mass is a close second)
i have literally never had caffeine, aside from a few sips of a few sodas
as you have probably figured out, i really like ghosts. metaphorical ghosts, fictional ghosts, evidence and stories of possible real-life ghosts and obviously just ghost stories in general. i just think they’re neat
well. i think that’s about it. i’m still trying to figure out how to post here again (specifically how i want to format my poetry), but you can see a lot more content from me on instagram! i post poems when i can and post on my stories way more than anyone would want to see.
and there you have it, an intro.
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angeloncewas · 2 months
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HEY so i just finished episode 5!! they’re about to go into combat at the pit!! this is SO awesome i’m literally so engaged and excited about this story in a way that i haven’t been about a piece of media for a long time, it’s great. i think part of it is definitely that brennan is such an amazinggg dm and the players are so good at roleplay too, it all ends up being very engaging and compelling - and the randomness of the rolls keeps me on my toes because i can’t really figure out where the stories gonna go!!! it’s just so awesome :333
i think right now my favorites are riz (from a character standpoint he’s just sooo fascinating, i made a post about it), fig for her absolute hilarity in every moment, and gorgug in a like more lowkey way because he’s just so freaking sweet. i like fabian and kristin a lot too because i think they’re both gonna get REALLY interesting in a bit with the way their characters are. adaine is also dear to me with how honest she is - even with her nervousness and sadness she’s such a good friend and she’s so brave when it comes to standing up for them. i’m really excited to keep watching them :)
and yes the combat is just sooo fun and cool and the more roleplay heavy episodes are also GREAT and equally engaging and it’s just!! they made this so well!!! i’m so glad i get to enjoy it!!! deffo my favorite parts have been the high speed chase with johnny spells and his teifling gang and getting ice cream after, that was such a fun episode…
but yeah i LOVE this show and i love d&d now and i’ve been making my own character (aasimar warlock :3) and falling more in love with the game and everything and just!!!! it’s so nice to find something like this, where i didn’t expect to love it this much and i do :) i see why you like it and i’m rlly excited for sophomore year too bc you mentioned that one was really impactful for you!!
ps if you have any fic reccs… especially character/relationship studies….. :3<3
Sorry I took so long to respond !!! I read this and was like :O and then immediately fell into a weird hole. But I'm here now
I'm so so so glad you like it. I remember when I first discovered fantasy high I was watching it between every break like I really could not put it down in a way i'd rarely experienced
I need to go looking for your Riz post because i LOVE Riz so much he is so me vibes (also not at all, but really kind of) --- but really altogether they make such a well-rounded group to me and you really highlighted what makes each of them special. Jonny Spells is so funny and that chase is sooo good --- really opened my eyes to what D&D could be way back when.
Very interested in your character too ! You're always so creative in that way I never make ocs Fic recs (that you may have already seen but that I stand by dearly):
take my heart, pull it apart; Fig character study; "It's a great day. Until her horns grow in."
Strongtower Luxury Apartments, Units 304 & 306; Kristen living with Fig and Gilear (sulfuric is such a good writer)
arm yourself for adventure; very AU start; "The adventure began in a tavern, which, as far as Riz knew, was pretty standard."
six hours to breathe again; very different sci-fi AU but super fascinating; "This is all for Adaine, they're going to get her back, finally, once and for fucking all, and then Riz is going to put a bullet in Biz Glitterdew's greasy fucking forehead." (knightserrand also has a great back catalog)
interchange; role swap role swap role swap !!!; "a pirate cleric, a goblin bard, a Helioic fighter, an elven barbarian, a tiefling rogue, and a half-orc wizard."
I have more that are sophomore year related too :)
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daymies · 1 year
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“Grr, stupid kids! You made me look bad!”
Beginning Notes - Hey guys, before you start reading, this is the first fic I had written a while, some nice criticism will be great. Another thing, I'll be adding YOUR original characters to this story! Make sure to DM your OCs in my discord sillymies#0696
One last thing, this story will be LONG... so stay tuned. Check out my social media for drawings and comics (along with some extra scenes) for this fic! And, of course, for more content for our favorite two characters, Streber and Kevin. I hope you guys enjoy the first chapter; I already have an extra two chapters written already; however, they are heavily edited during this time. The next update should be up by tomorrow. (This is also posted on AO3)
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October 1st, 2012 Monday 6:00 PM
"KEVIN!" "KEVIN! KEVIN!"
Oh great, not those two again.
Today is the first day of October, which meant Halloween was coming soon enough. A holiday that employees that serve the public can't certainly enjoy. Unfortunately, I had the pleasure of being the only guy who sold candy in this crappy town. As a result, this business was almost busy. My two best customers– If I could even call them that, viewing, I give them free candy every day waddled themselves here.
I sighed, "What'll be kids?"
Ugh, I don't know why I asked! I already knew what they wanted! But these two do love Bocadins. I don't blame them; they're delicious. I'm not entirely sure why they don't use the actual name, but whatever.
"Can we get a candy can? Please, Kevin!" "We'd waited all year like you said!" "Yeah! It's finally the spooky month!"
Right...
Kevin's Flashback
The Candy Club shop had existed for a while. Funny enough, I never thought I'd work at this place. Jeez, I didn't even think I'd be the only employee in this dead-end job. In middle school, I remembered when this building was under construction. I had to be around fourteen when everybody realized a new business was opening in this tiny town. I was definitely an eighth-grader when this happened. I don't have the best memory. By the time I reached sophomore year, it had finally finished production. With a small town and low labor, it was bound to take a few years to complete.
After Candy's Club's grand opening, the place was frequently packed, visited by everybody I knew. Literally.
It was next to my high school and a couple of neighborhoods. So it was bound to get heavy traffic. If I had to be honest, I always dreamed of visiting the place, but I couldn't. Of course, it didn't help that my walking route to home, school, and my best friend's place forced me to walk in front of the business occasionally. So it was almost every day I walked past it.
I remember the first day I visited. I wasn't a huge fan of candy. Scratch that. My parents were heavily against it, so I couldn't form a strong opinion on it. So I never really knew whether or not I would've had a sweet tooth in my younger years. Now in my early twenties, I can finally say I love sugary food, which, if you haven't noticed, includes candy.
Radford was honestly the one who took me for the first time. He'd just turned sixteen and applied at the local theater we used to visit during our free time. The place he applied at wasn't JUST a theater; it had an arcade and was pretty cool. Radford was the one who mainly spent all his allowance and time there.
Anyways, he got the job. No surprise there. Radford knew the owner due to how frequently we visited. He had a great relationship with the guy. Man, Radford didn't even have to go through the struggle and process of an interview. He was hired on the spot when he asked. What a lucky guy...
Radford was more than happy when he realized he was hired on the spot. The first thing he did was excessively call me. Even though Radford smiled joyfully when we met, my parents weren't. They were upset with the bill they got from the calls from Radford.
We'd typically celebrated things by, well, hanging at the theater/arcade, but Radford wanted to change things up. To be fair, I don't think you should celebrate the news of your brand new job at– well, your new job location. With the theater being a no-go, he wanted to try out the new candy shop with me. The one that everybody in our high school went crazy on. The Candy Club.
I was excited. But I had to pretend I didn't want to. What if my parents saw it? I freaked out, knowing my parents would've grounded me for something so small.
"Come on, dude, you gotta at least try it. Your parents aren't even here. What are you so worried about?" Radford could tell I was nervous when we walked closer to Candy Club. But, of course, Radford being the worst friend I ever had, found this funny. Jerk.
"You know my parents can sense when I did something wrong! They're like super crazy freaks–! Oh crap, I shouldn't have said that. What if they heard?!" I could visually remember how I looked around my surroundings just in case one of them was watching me, but not a single figure. That didn't even matter to young me. He was still feeling uneasy.
I was an extremely paranoid kid. I didn't have abusive parents; they were sweet but heavily overprotective, and they could've been harsh at times too. I was the only child they had, so that could be why they were so weird sometimes. They were against anything considered unhealthy, like pizza, burgers, or whatever. Obviously, that included sugary substances. For most of my life, I was on a strict vegan diet.
Man, I remembered when I had my first bite of a burger. It was so delicious. Radford took me all around town, trying out different fast-food restaurants. Grills & Boys had to be my favorite restaurant at the time! It's a shame it wasn't like it used to be before.
I think today; I still might be a little paranoid. Not as much as before, thankfully.  But I still kept up with eating vegetables. I had to maintain my figure somehow; it's not every day you see some good-looking guy down the street! Right? I'm kidding.
I worry a lot; it's the one thing I'm known for. Radford constantly has to remind me to 'calm the fuck down,' but what does he know? His life was much smoother than my miserable one.
"Dude. You're the super crazy freak. Come on." He mocked. He found my terrified outbursts funny. But, like I said, Radford didn't take me seriously. Even today, he's still basically the same person.
He forcefully dragged me to the candy shop, ignoring my complaints whenever I mentioned what my parents would do to me if they found out. After that, which would've been nothing, I was just all talk.
My parents wouldn't have done anything necessarily wrong to me. The worst thing they could've done was a long boring lecture about how sugary foods can kill me. Just the usual on what their speeches were usually about.
When we entered the place, we were greeted heavily by the only employee who worked before me. To get this straight, no, I wasn't the first to work at Candy Club. I'm glad I wasn't the first employee at this shit establishment. I would've been more disappointed if I had worked here since the beginning it was built.
"Hey! Welcome to the Candy Club! Where your satisfaction is our treat!"
At the time, previous Candy-Club employees had to say this 'slogan' whenever someone entered the store. That has never changed. It's required for all employees to say once a customer comes in. But I don't do it. I refuse to say it because I find it so stupid.
Radford was the first who started talking to the guy. It looked like they knew each other, once again, not even a surprise. Radford liked speaking to people. I didn't.
"Hey, Dennis! Did you get your latest shipment in?" Radford asked, pushing up his glasses as they were clearly a bit too big for him. I never knew why Radford wouldn't get actual glasses that fitted his face, but whatever. He was a weird guy. He still is, actually, now that I think about it. Radford doesn't even wear actual glasses anymore. I'm pretty sure he has contacts. He didn't even need authentic glasses, so he replaced them with 3D glasses, nerd.
At the time, Radford had a sweet tooth, constantly chewing on some type of flavored gum. Back in high school, that's all he ever ate throughout his school days. Now? Not so much. Let's just say he frequently visits our local Dentist in town now.
I'm not entirely sure how Dennis, you know, the first ever Candy Club employee, and Radford's friendship began. Still, I can just guess that Radford was his best customer, considering all the sweets he bought had the Candy-Club logo on them.
"Just got it earlier this morning! Who's ya new friend there?" Dennis responded and pointed right at me, not knowing who I was. The town was small, so sometimes everybody knew each other, but I wasn't as social as Radford back then. Few people knew me. Not like I cared. I much preferred that way!
Up until when I became the new guy who sold candy in town. Fucking Dennis... I shouldn't have listened to him.
"Oh, this lame guy? Come on, dude, introduce yourself!"
Radford was a much more talkative person. He was more playful, open, and much more of an asshole than me. But, we had similar traits, and we were both... Never mind, I lied. We actually don't have anything in common. He was the one who spoke to me first back in middle school. Radford never even left me alone; he was so talkative. How we met is a story for another day.
I glared at him, irritated by the name-calling. Lame guy... you're the lame guy, Radford.
Dennis was— gazing at me. He seemed like a friendly guy. He had blonde hair and had to be older than us by a couple of years. At the time, I recalled rolling my eyes and giving out a huge groan. I wasn't the best at introducing myself to new people during my teen years. Now that I'm in my early twenties, I am even worse at talking to new people. So it's Radford who gets me to chat with somebody new.
"Kevin," I said, this being all I managed to tell Dennis.
"Nice to meet ya, Kev. Say, what's your favorite candy–?"
Why did he care? If you could compare Dennis and me, we're both entirely different. It's clear Dennis enjoyed his job, interacting with customers, and everything this job had to offer. Me? Not so much. Sure, it was nice to talk to people without forcing a conversation. Still, I soon realized anybody who came through that glass door would verbally abuse me for no reason. That's business, though! Great.
I cut Dennis off midway through his sentence, "I don't like candy. Not really my thing." I told him, crossing my arms. I frowned at him. Dennis was probably around 19 years old when I first met him. I don't talk to him now. He's closer to Radford, not me. I do see him occasionally, but it's just awkward.
I heard a loud sigh. The sigh came from nobody else but from Radford. "Come on, man! Kevin has never had candy before. He doesn't even have an opinion on it! He has no say in anything half of the time!"
I sneered at this as I crossed my arms and looked away from the duo. I was pissed. Yeah, it was true, but it wasn't like I wanted everybody to know about it.
"Is that true? Huh. Say, Kev, grab a scoop of those fruit gummies. I'd think you'll enjoy them." Dennis said, now he too was crossing his arms. But he wasn't upset. He remained happy the entire time, which I respected about Dennis for a long time. Dennis was still annoying, though.
It's not like I was a downer all the time. I just genuinely had no idea how to respond or even react to things.
"It's Kevin. And where? there's a lot of candy in here."
Dennis' head pointed to the left side of the place.
"Top row, pink bin."
Dennis was an asshole, too. I knew he was messing with me when he was facing the bin on the tallest shelf of the store. See, sixteen-year-old Kevin wasn't the tallest person at the time. I was a 5'4 kid, pretty much considered short at the time. I grew taller since then, but Radford continued to tower over me. I continued to glare at Dannis. He should know why I'd be pissed off.
"I can't reach that."
They both laughed with each other, with Radford being the loudest in the room.
"No worries, Kev, that's on me! I'll get it for ya!"
"Whatever," I said, turning my head away so I didn't have to face these two. Radford was already annoying on his own, and adding Dennis? They were even much more irritating and more menacing than these two stupid kids right in front of me—
Oh no! Oh crap! I forgot they were still here!
Dammit, Kevin! You need to quit dozing off on the job! This is how you get your candy stolen! You're lucky these two aren't 3 miserable preteens who wore hats!!
"Hey, err, Kevin? Are you okay?" Skid was the first to ask. He seemed concerned, but I could tell he was mainly curious about why I had been staring at the wall for a good minute.
"Yeah! You were looking at the wall for a while! Are you sick, Kevin?" Pump was more considerate than the other. Well, they both are, but Pump was typically the one who usually acted.
Huh, I forget they both are good kids. I just wished they had stopped pouring through my store, screaming at the tops of their lungs. They're not bad kids. Hell, they're the only two decent human beings who don't entirely make fun of me.
Lila and Pump's mother told the truth when they said these two kids were the purest and most excellent boys. But god, how destructive they were.
"I have some medicine the man in the van gave us!" Pump shouted, taking some mysterious bottle out of his backpack.
What the hell?
"What? What are you two talking about?! Give me that!" I completely ripped the bottle out of Pump's hands and tossed it in the trash.
"Stop talking to strangers, you two! Don't you know how dangerous that is? Where'd did you even get that from!"
These two are oblivious! How aren't they dead yet?! I can't even imagine what their parents must deal with at home! I'm glad they're not my kids! I'll never be a dad.
I groaned as I reached to grab the two pieces of candy I had saved for these two earlier today before they ran out. After pulling my hand from behind my desk, they both practically had stars in their eyes when they realized what I had.
My glare soon faded away. I smiled. It was nice to see happy faces on people. Especially innocent children. I can tell why Dennis loved this job. But, listen, I don't hate these two kids. But, as I said, they sometimes are too loud and dangerous.
I gave these two a long genuine smile. Then, with the two pieces of candy I had, I dropped them into their hands.
"Remember, they're called Bocadins. Call them by their real name next time, will ya?"
"Whoa! Thanks, Kevin! You're the best! And we will!" They said to me both at the same time. Jeez, it's like their heads are telepathically connected.
"Yeah, yeah. Now go away." I said, my smile now fading quickly. I squinted at these two. That was enough socialization for me today.
Instead of walking out of my store, they just stared at me! What the hell could they possibly want now? They got what they wanted. Why are they still staring at me? They could be so weird sometimes!
"What? What do you want?"
Pump and Skid looked at each other and started giggling. They were whispering pretty loudly to each other. A ton of 'No! No! You tell him! No, you!' Okay, now these two were getting on my nerves already.
"Tell me before I kick you both out."
They continued to giggle as they both finally turned to face me. Whatever it was, it was obviously so important.
"Did you hear, Kevin? There's a new haunted house! You should go!"
"Yeah! You'll like it, Kevin!"
Not that important, apparently. Sighing, I gave the two one last smile for the night.
"Sorry, kids, those things aren't for me. Now go away, please. I'm tired. I had a rough night last night!"
They looked disappointed. Of course, since they're Skid and Pump, they looked at each other, and a smile suddenly formed quickly.
"Oh well, let's go, Pump!"
"Oh, okay! Let's go see the new guy!"
New guy? What new guy? Was this the second thing they would tell me if I agreed to go!?
"New guy? What are you two talking about?"
I tried to get an answer from these two, but they were already running out of the store! Why are they so quick with things?!
"Bye, Kevin!!!"
That was the last thing they said before I stood there, confused. What new guy can they possibly be talking about? Who would even move to this town?!
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End Notes - Hoped you guys enjoyed it. I'll be taking suggestions throughout the story! Remember to check out my social media for more content for the story!
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shzmluvrs · 10 months
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Hey girlypopd luv ur fics im from ur Wattpad account so mby I get favoritism jk but I rly rly luv ur Freddyxchubby reader bc I’m self obsessed an I think everything is about me but anyway I rly need more serotonin in life an hope this isn’t too much but can I get angst like a lot mby a little tiny bit of the self harmy stuff pls sry I hav problems an if ur uncomfortable writing that i totally get that Luv u <3
Girlll, don't you talk to ME about angst, you are looking at the QUEEN of thinking of overly angsty scenarios😙🤞🏽♡. Also, ty for the compliments on my previous work, ilyily it literally throws me over the moon (no, not you, Moon🥴💀💕). I really hope you enjoy thissss✨️!! Also, this totally doubles as a thank you for the artwork you did for us, I just *sobs♡*.
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~ Star✨️
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Not Your Fault
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Prompt: Maybe it came from your own self-doubt. Or, maybe it stemmed from your parents and their need to overdo it with the scolding. Hell, maybe it was just something often reiterated to you by strangers. But, for as long as you could remember, things never seemed to go your way. More accurately, things never seemed to go right because of you. And it was only natural that you suffered the consequences of your own actions...
Even if it had to be by your own hand...
Timeline: Post S!: FOTG
TW/Content: Self harm (if that wasn't already heavily implied/said)⚡️AngstAngstAngstttt⚡️But then lots and lots of comfort⚡️Reader being cynical⚡️(very smol, dw) Thoughts/Talk/Mention of unaliveness, I think, but probably not⚡️Freddy being an absolute 😇💙saint💙😇 (most of the time)⚡️Readers parent(s)/sibling(s) being annoying
Reader: Fem! Reader She/Her/Hers Pronouns
Requested By: @lukkdukkyleak
Back to the Master List
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'Snap'
. . .
'Snap'
You were stuck. This was the third time this had happened to you this week. On your conclusion, no less; the very last paragraph of your essay. You'd sit down, open up your Google document, read over your own writing for the zillionth time until you got to where you had left off...
And then, with intention to finish it up, write the last few sentences or so, you'd urge yourself to get right to work. Just start writing. Get it done. Do it.
And yet, you just... couldn't. Writers' block had now become your mortal enemy, and you'd do anything to get rid of it. Because if you didn't, it'd leave you with nothing to turn in. If you didn't have a final paper to turn in, you'd automatically fail this English class.
If you failed this English class, you wouldn't graduate in the Spring. If you didn't graduate, you wouldn't be allowed to cross that stage and get your diploma. If you didn't get your diploma, your parents would surely be more than disappointed. In you, in themselves for actually thinking you could do it...
You'd have to repeat the school year, do it all over again, just to circle right back to this final English paper. And again, you'd get stuck in your own head, fighting a mental block you couldn't even defeat right now. The cycle would go on, and natrually, it'd be your own doing. Or rather, you own undoing.
Your own fault. All because you can't write a conclusion.
'Snap'
"Did you hear me?"
Your head whipped up in a flurry, letting go of the hair tie pulling against your wrist to create one final 'Snap'. An accidental one, which gained a short wince out of you at its unexpected sting before you could even speak.
The boy in front of you took this as a sign that you were distracted, happy to repeat himself while he closed his laptop in order to see you better.
"I said, 'Do you wanna go to (Favorite Fast-Food) after school?'."
"Oh." You hummed, your eyes shifting away from his chocolate brown ones and back to your screen. At its mention, you were suddenly craving (F/FF). But you also knew better than to let yourself get distracted when you didn't have to. What was most important was this essay, and if you procrastinated any longer, you'd surely miss the due date, and-
"I'll pay." Freddy quickly added, sensing your hesitancy from his own seat before lighting up even further at your scoff. A dismissive one, sure, but it came with a smile he found hard to hate; elated that he had been the cause.
"Please, you can barely afford to get your lunch every day."
"See, m'kay, that's where you're wrong, right?" Freddy began, speed-talking as per usual, which always caused your smile to grow. "(Y/N), I saved up for a whole week so I can literally get us whatever. Those silly little drinks you like? Done. Or-or fries, or whatever? Done. I will buy you the whole menu, try me."
"Okay, okay, I get it." You laughed, knowing he had already convinced you. Persuaded, sure...
...And yet...
"I would, Freds, really. But, I don't think I should."
His head tipped to the side in confusion, curls falling with which almost caused an 'aww' to leave your lips. He stared, doe-eyed, expecting his answer because you denying (F/FF) was a first. It was a bit surprising, but your reasoning, once given, was valid.
"I need to get this paper done. Tonight. If I don't, I'll just...worry about it forever, and I won't be able to focus. Another time?"
He smiled at your compromise, the heel of his foot bouncing up and down in his seat as if he just couldn't wait for whenever "another time" would be. Hopefully soon, sending about a thousand nods your way before speaking.
"Yeah, sure, no problem!"
The bell rung, students around you rushing to pack their things away now that they were no longer confined to the hell that was Fawcett Central. You did the same, not that you were exactly excited to return to your own home. Your hopes lied in the assumption that you'd be able to rush quickly to your room. Not to be bothered for the rest of the night as you finished up your work.
"But like, are you sure, though?"
You tossed your head back, a joking groan escaping your lips as the two of you squoze yourselves between people in the hallways. And still, he went on in hopes to further convince you because, as it turned out, the boy had very little patience to wait until "another time." Something that he wasn't even sure would come.
Plus, as one would expect, he was only following his brother's advice...
"If you really wanna spend time with her, just go for it. And don't let her flake out or play hard to get. It'll show her you're persistent, and girls usually like that type of stuff. Let's them know you care."
And of course Freddy cared about you! So...
"I'm just sayin'! It'd be fun, and y'know, maybe you need a break."
"Freddy..."
"Plus...!" He interjected before you could go on. "When have I ever steered you wrong?"
"H-"
"And don't say gym class, or the Winter Carnival, or that one time with the Breyers, or that other time with the Breyers, or the glitter bomb, or...The Incident™..." He listed off with haste, all different scenarios/times where he had most definitely steered you wrong.
"Those were all just horribly timed coincidences that have nothing to do with how I operate."
"Oh, is that so?" You challenged with an amused giggle, Freddy sending you an assertive smirk right back.
"Very much so."
"And how are you so sure of that?"
"Come with me," he taunted lightly, effortlessly cycling the conversation right back to his initial goal. "Let me whisk you away, (N/N)... and you'll find out."
You couldn't help but shake your head at the dork in front of you, trying your very hardest to hold in a flattered smile at his antics. Walking backward down the stone steps as if he wasn't one off-balanced wobble away from tipping over. Sending you pleading eyes and a goofy grin along with the use of a nickname.
With the break of your own toothy smile, he knew he had won you over before you even had to say anything.
"Fine, fine...I'll go."
"Yes, yes, yes-yes-yes, I love it when you agree with me!"
"But just tonight!" You reminded, pointing an index finger that he simply grabbed, interlocking his own with it. "I'm off limits tomorrow. And Sunday!"
"Yeah, sure, you got it. You have the rest of the weekend left to do..." He waved his free hand around wildly, looking for the words he never found before finishing.
"I dunno, whatever it is you do."
"Thank god." You sighed half-jokingly, earning you a laugh you never got tired of.
──────────── •⚡️• ────────────
You were lucky to hear more of it, even if it wasn't in person. You reminded yourself of that over and over again as you walked home. Freddy insistent on the fact that even though he couldn't be there to walk you home himself, he'd at least stay on the phone with you until he knew you were safe.
But anyhow, you were repetitive on the fact that you had a good time, that you were lucky to listen to Freddy ramble on and on about tonight's prior festivities because of the simple fact that it had been keeping you distracted. Away from the troubling thoughts of guilt for not listening to your past self. Sure, you had a great time, but at what cost?
A waste of time to get your work done? No. No, no matter. It didn't matter now. You had done it, you had gone out and had a great time with your best friend. Now it was time to wind down and focus, return home and get your work done. You could still rely on yourself.
"Hey, it's late, I gotta go, Freds." You excused once your place had come into view.
"You make it home safe?" He double-checked, and you almost nodded, forgetting he wasn't physically there with you.
"Yeah, which is why I gotta go, dude."
"Alright, right, you're super duper busy, so I can't bother ya' anymore." He sighed through his words, smiling once he heard your quiet giggle on the other side of the line along with the jingle of your keys.
"I'll check on you Sunday."
"Wha-? Freddy, n-"
"Bye!"
And the line went dead, leaving you to purse your lips and scoff. It was a wonder you liked him, let alone had a whole crush on him, when he often times pushed at your boundaries. But, nonetheless, you were simply happy to know him at all, and-
No. No, focus. You were swift to set yourself straight, not wanting to get lost in your daydream-esque thoughts on the boy you'd been pining over for a couple of years now. That'd be your lamest reason yet on why you had deterred from your essay.
"(Y/N)...!!" The call of your name made you jump, erasing any thoughts you had about anything at all while attempting to pull yourself together at a reasonable speed. It ended with you anxiously tugging at the familiar blue hairtie around your wrist, not yet pulling it far enough back to release, but just enough to provide some odd comfort while your parent came tearing around the corner to your position in front of the door.
"Where have you been?" They asked, their tone laced with demand rather than actual worry as you stumbled to push out a viable excuse.
"I...was out with my friend, I just lost track of time."
"Mm." They hummed, never really truly satisfied with any answer you might've given as they looked you up and down. "I don't like you staying out so late, you know better. You didn't even call. You knew you had chores to do today."
"Sorry..." You mumbled, subjected back to the looming silence before they gave a roll of their eyes and sighed.
"Well, did you eat?"
"Yeah, I had (F/FF)."
"...Alright."
And that was that, your parent leaving you to yourself once again as you gratefully made the choice to head straight for your room. It was just as you left it when you had left for school early this Friday morning, which meant you had a bit of cleaning to do.
But surely, you could push that task back until later. It could always be done the moment you typed up the rest of your final paper. Without second thought, you sat on your bed and pulled open your laptop, as well as gathering any notes you might've needed together before reading over what's been typed so far.
. . .
You rubbed at your eyes until you were satisfied, your hands moving to slide above and push back your hair. As if you were ridding yourself of the exhaustion.
"Foucs, focus, focus..." You commanded yourself, repeating the word over and over again in your mind. Your fingers wandering back down to your wrist.
'Focus, focus, focus, focus...'
'Snap'
'Just focus...just write something. Just write a sentence. A word...'
'Snap'
"Ohh my goshhh..." You groaned under your breath.
'Snap'
Your (E/C) eyes wandered towards the bottom right corner of your screen, grazing over the time as if you were wasting it. Well, technically, you were. But you weren't at the same time, seeing as only a few minutes had passed since you've sat.
10:23p.m.
"Whatever, just...write." You commanded yourself further.
. . .
When your eyes wandered back to the time once more, you were left to fight the lump forming in the back of your throat.
1:04a.m.
So much time had passed, and not a single thing had been typed. You wanted to be mad at yourself but couldn't. You kept checking your phone, you kept talking to yourself, you just had to turn on the TV for "background noise"...
It looked like you'd be pulling an all-nighter this evening.
──────────── •⚡️• ─────────��──
You woke up feeling disoriented. Peaceful, sure, but only because your mind was still clouded with sleep, which left you to struggle at taking in your surroundings and the reason why your body ached.
In about another five seconds, all your memories had returned to you, and you now had the answers to all of your questions. You had fallen asleep, even after you had convinced yourself that you were going to pull an all-nighter. Even more disappointing, having fallen asleep at such an awkward angle left you with a crick in your neck that you couldn't sooth with a simple massage right away.
And to your dismay, your laptop displayed the essay that you very clearly hadn't touched. That you had fallen asleep on. You wanted nothing more than for it to finish itself at this point, but you knew better than to actually believe that would happen. Wishful thinking on top of all of the other worries you had swarming your mind. Just to set yourself straight, hastily reminding yourself you now had only the rest of today and tomorrow to finish it, you allowed yourself to stretch and shake away the rest of your drowsyness.
"What...?" You murmured the moment your finger had grazed over the touchpad, reading over the pop-up window in the middle of the screen.
You read it again in disbelief.
And then again, your anger rising at the key words; 'Remaining batter life' 'charging cable' '7%' '10 minutes of power'.
"No, no, no..." You whined, practically throwing yourself out of the bed. Your notes scattered everywhere, but you couldn't bring yourself to care as you desperately searched for the charger to your laptop. When you realized, after dumping out all of your backpack's contents onto the floor, that it wasn't even in there, you grew even more panicked, if possible. If not there, where?
Scouring your room for any sign of the black cord began to accumulate a bigger mess than had already been evident, but you found it worth it when you had finally spotted it under your desk, tangled with a bunch if other loose wires and cords which left you with the tedious work of untangling them.
By the time you had finished, your room an even bigger mess and your mind swarming with curses and exasperation, you had returned to your laptop a second too late. The screen was black and the power button on the top left corner refused to light back up, no matter how many times you pressed it until you finally had to accept the fact that it had officially died. It was only when you were mid-way through putting it on the charger and plugging it into the outlet when you also realized this meant your paper may have not been saved.
You couldn't even fathom the words to bring out of your throat in this instant, angry and inaduble grumbles leaving in their place as you fought the lump in your throat. It seemed you had just woken up and already couldn't catch a break, not that you really had anyone else to blame but yourself.
If you had just stayed up and done your work like you were supposed to instead of sitting there looking at the screen until you fell asleep, this wouldn't be happening to you right now.
"Ughh, stupid, stupid..." You berated yourself, tugging at the blue hair tie and letting it snap back consecutively. It didn't bring you any comfort, but you were convinced it was an act that helped you think better, or faster. And, like usual, it seemed to work as your (E/C) eyes glanced over to your phone.
It sat on the edge of your desk, certainly not dead when the charger was connected into it. You could quickly download Google docs and pray that it had auto-saved before your computer died, and if so, you could continue writing on your phone. You-
"Hey..."
Your head whipped around at the sound of your parent entering your room, now wanting nothing more than to roll your eyes the moment they gave a look of disgust at not just the state of your room, but your person as well.
Your clothes from last night were still disheveled, your hair more than likely a mess, and surely, the bags under your eyes weren't any more flattering.
"...You need to clean this room up, it's always such a mess in here. And you still didn't do your chores from last night, so when you're done, you need to get on that."
"Yeah, I know, I-"
"Don't tell me you know. Otherwise, it'd be done. Now get started so that we can leave."
Your sigh halted, words you couldn't quite shuffle in the right order escaping your lips in distressed stammers upon hearing the last sentence.
Leave? Leave where? You couldn't leave!
"I can't- Where are-? I have to write this essay, it's due Monday, I don't-..."
"(Y/N)..." They spoke your name through a groan, already brushing off what, to them, was just excuses. "I don't have the time to argue with you about this right now. We have errands to run, and it's bad enough that now we have to wait on you."
You wanted to apologize or... at least explain how the circumstances weren't exactly your fault. Not entirely...
Weren't they?
But it didn't matter. The words got stuck once again and your parent had left, meaning that your only hope of not letting this Saturday go to waste was to try and clean as fast as possible and do your work in the car considering you were stuck using your phone.
──────────── •⚡️• ────────────
'Well, that was a bust...' You thought, a scowl etched onto your face as though the expression were permanent. To say you were irriated would be the understatement of the century. Even more so when you couldn't place that agitation and blame onto anyone else but yourself.
If you hadn't procrastinated for so long, you wouldn't have an essay that decided your future to work on. If you didn't have an essay to work on, you wouldn't have felt so sullen about accepting Freddy's request to basically blow it off. If you hadn't accepted his request, you would've gotten home sooner to clean and do your chores. If you had done them sooner, you would've had more time to write, and maybe, just maybe, you wouldn't have fallen asleep so easily.
And then these errands would mean nothing to you other than a family outing because your work would be done, and you'd have nothing to worry about. But instead, and because of your incompetence, here you were trying your best to dodge and weave through crowds of other people doing their shopping. Trying your very hardest to type and walk in order to keep up with your family.
"I don't understand why you're moving so slow..." Your parent scolded lightly, urging you to do what you were already trying to do. Only your eyes lifted from the screen, just for a moment to shoot off a glare before returning to your screen and typing furiously.
Sure, your writers' block had finally cleared. But you could only ever get in a few words every couple of minutes before you had to look up to dodge. Or, be interrupted by your family, a sibling. An annoying one, at that...
"Yeah, weren't you just here yesterday with your boyyyyfrieeeend~?" They teased, leaving you to grumble.
"He's not my boyfriend. And yeah, but we went straight to (F/R) and ate at the food court, we weren't shopping."
Your sibling rolled their eyes.
"Whatever, just saying...it should be easier for you to keep up."
"(Y/N)?!"
Speak of the devil, you and your entire immediate family's heads whipping up at the obnoxiously loud call of your name. Your eyes searched high and low, all around until they landed on that familiar head of curls and the silver of a crutch.
"Oh, hi..." You awkwardly greeted, not even loud enough for him to hear it as he approached gleefully. Normally, at the presence of your family, you'd try and usher him away. Give him the hint not to intervene and make it awkward for everyone, but mostly you. But, seeing as your family hadn't even bothered to slow down, you figured a brief conversation wouldn't hurt.
Plus, upon noticing a couple of his siblings and Rosa behind him, you didn't want to come off as brash or rude.
"I thought you said you were gonna be busy?"
The question almost took you by surprise, but upon recalling last Friday, you realized that was pretty much what you had told him.
"I am! I just...I got caught up, it's weird..."
Sensing this wasn't enough of an answer or anything excusable, you spoke further. It had inevitably dug yourself a deeper hole, his brow raising in question.
"My parents, they're just...they wanted me to go shopping with them."
"Your...parents...?"
Oh, right...they walked off....
"Ye-Yeah, they are- They were here, but I lost track of them, so..."
You were aware of how unconvincing you sounded, letting a quiet sigh escape you before checking your phone. Your essay was still intact, and- Oh! That's a good word, 'intact'... You could do something with that, let's just...add it to the conclusion...and...
What you couldn't sense was how disinterested you looked to Freddy, the boy looking back to Billy for any type of further advice. All the brunette could do was shrug from afar, attempting to entertain Rosa, who wasn't at all paying attention to the events.
Hey, mother's got to shop🤷🏽‍♀️.
Either way, to him, it looked as though you were trying your hardest to avoid him. Freddy could feel his chest tighten at just the thought, wondering why that could possibly ever be the case. Why you had become so distant suddenly. And now, you'd barely even look at him?
"So, uh...what's the deal? Did I say something you didn't like?"
"Huh?"
You hadn't looked up, leaving him to reluctantly fill in the blank for you.
"...The other night. When we went out. On that date..."
Now, this caught your attention. Your head cocked back, and your brows knitted incredulously.
"Date? That wasn't a date, I thought we were just hanging out."
'...Was...that a date?' You thought swiftly when you heard the words leave you own mouth, having not entertained such an idea before. But, now that Freddy had said something-
"(Y/N), I literally took you to your favorite place and paid for everything. And then we went to the arcade, and got milkshakes, and...well, I was gonna walk you home, but that didn't work out, as you know, since...you were there..."
"Oh."
You hadn't a clue of what to say, and the longer the silence hung over you two, the more worried you grew. Was that really a date? He didn't technically ask you out to date. He said he wanted to hang out. Maybe it was implied in his tone, and you missed it because you had been so focused on your essay.
But certainly, wasn't your essay tons more important than any date or whatever? If you hadn't gone, you would've had the whole weekend to go out on a date. Right?
Also, where the hell had your family gone? Did they even stop to think that you could really use an out right now? You had no idea what to say!
"Well, to be honest, I really shouldn't have gone at all if you think about it..."
So, you spoke without thinking. And immediately, you could tell that was the wrong answer, the words even stinging your own self the second they came out. Freddy's hurt expressions stinging even more as you lowered your phone.
"But you have time to be out and about with your 'parents'?" Why did he say parents like that? Did he not believe you? "Okay, cool. Awesome."
"I am! Was! They're here, I didn't have a choice, they made me come." You explained hastily. "Plus, I am busy. This paper is super important for me to get done, you know that."
"Yeah, I do. I also know that it was assigned months ago... why would you be doing it now, last minute?"
Holy shit... he really didn't believe you...
But it's not like you wanted to admit you had stupidly put it off for so long, either...
"Freddy..." You sighed, tossing your arms in uncertainty of what to say next. All you had was excuses. "...I didn't mean it. What I said. I'm just-"
"-Busy, yeah, I know."
More tense silence filled with the idea that you were losing him. Not only as a crush, but as your established friend as well. And god, were you trying desperately to mend it before it broke. You clicked your phone off, shoving it into your pocket completely out of sight.
"We can walk around right now if you want. Just until I have to leave?"
"Nah."
Ouch.
"I... don't want to walk on my leg more than I have to. See you around, (Y/N)."
. . .
──────────── •⚡️• ────────────
... 'Snap'!
"Stop doing that, it's annoying."
And you did, for a mere moment just to give a side eye towards your sibling before continuing.
Pull... 'Snap'!
Pull... 'Snap!
P u l l. . . 'SNAP'!
"Ow..." you winced.
"Would you stop it?"
"Shut up...!"
"Hey...!" The warning yell of one of your parents stopped the bickering and the rubber band pulling, but it didn't make you want to cry any less.
"Cool it back there. This is supposed to be a nice family outing..."
If anything, it made you want to cry more.
"Well, I didn't want to even be here, so..." You mumbled.
And it was true, you didn't, having wished you had protested more earlier. Then maybe your essay would be done by now. And maybe Freddy would still be your friend...
You cried.
Well, not in the car. But you did the second you finally arrived back home, to the haven and privacy of your room to let it all out. Frustrated and defeated, your wrist still stinging and itching with welts you knew the hair tie snapping would create. But you didn't care, at least, not about the last bit. It was stress relieving, so at least it counted for something good. It was done with good intent, and wasn't that all that mattered? Wasn't that enough?
Shouldn't that be enough for Freddy? He was- No, he is your best friend. And sure, you might've unintentionally pushed him away, but it was for a greater good. You were sure. Blocked him out with a good intention, if... that even existed. So, with such logic, apologizing and molding things back to normal should be a simple task, yes?
Yes, good. Perfect. That made it easy to set aside for a later moment, hastily wiping your tears and taking in small breaths before setting yourself at your desk. Not the bed, because you would not be falling asleep this time. You would write, write wrute, type, type, type until you were done. And that's final.
. . .
There it was again. That blocking feeling. But it came back different this time, unusual and almost unfamiliar to the normal writers' block.
Freddy. Freddy. Freddy.
That's what it was. That's all it was. The words you had said, his face twisted in disappointment and sadness running through your mind over and over again. How you had hurt him.
Ugh, you couldn't do this.
9:30p.m.
You couldn't bear it. And, pathetic enough, you couldn't even bring yourself to text him. To let him know it was all your fault. To even just apologize.
You went to bed.
You'd cram all of your needed tasks in tomorrow with a fresh, clear mind...
──────────── •⚡️• ────────────
This time, you had awoken to complete silence. And way later than last time, which you supposed was needed due to the fatigue of Friday through Saturday's events...
Upon doing some further snooping around the house, you had gathered the fact your family had gone out without you this time. And albeit you couldn't help but feel a little hurt, nobody having even attempted to wake you let alone invite you, you knew it was overall in your best interest.
You had a conclusion to write. After an afternoon breakfast and a fresh pair of comfy clothing, you situated yourself right back at your desk. Your laptop fully charged. Any and all disturbances out of sight, therefore out of mind. And eventually, after a good stare at the words already there, at the florescent blue light of the screen, the creative juices began to flow. You were off...
The blessing of finally being able to write lasted for only a few more hours, the sun setting and the noise of the city outside becoming evident as you leaned back in your seat for a break. A good stretch and rub of the eyes, a well-deserved swallow or two of water...
'Bonk-Bonk-Bonk'
Your brows knitted, lips unconsciously forming a pout at the consistent sound against your window. It confused you, the noise something you hadn't heard in a while. Something you only ever heard when expecting-
"Oh my god, Freddy...!" You gasped, having walked over and cautiously slid open your window. The sight of him scared you enough to practically jump back as he came tumbling onto your floor. A fall that worried you, of course, but neither of you could focus on that given a mere, lazy collapse to the ground seemed like nothing compared to the rest of his injuries.
"Oh my god, Freddy..." You repeated in utter dismay, covering your mouth with your palm for maybe a split second before you were immediately stooped by his side in order to help him sit up.
"What happened, why are-? Oh my god, there's so much bl-"
"-I'm okay, I'm okay..." He reassured quietly, moving his hand up and down as if to say, "Calm down." Not that it did any good, your eyes scanning over each and every cut and/or bruise you could find before delivering your final questions.
"What are you doing here? You...need a doctor or-or something, how did this even happen?"
He laughed, almost as if there were something funny that you didn't get. Some twisted inside joke. Twisted, because it left him...well... like this.
"Being a superhero is harder than it looks, (N/N)..."
A pause.
"Are you delirious or something? I- Y'know what? Okay, I-... Stay there, don't move."
As if he'd even try. He watched as you jogged out of your room, able to hear you rummaging around in your bathroom for medical aid while his brown eyes scanned your room. It seemed to have remained in the same state as when he last saw it; neat and tidy, minus a few distraught blankets and cords. He traced a thick, gray one up to your desk, noticing it was plugged into your still on and running laptop.
His brows furrowed. He could see the small words, even from his place on the floor by your window and almost wanted to slap himself.
You really were finishing up an essay. The easy, if anything. Instead, he chuckled. Of course you waited until the last second to do it. How (Y/N) of you.
He had to fight off his blush (and a startled jump) when you came rushing back into the room, arms filled with supplies and a worried expression etched onto your face.
"We didn't have a lot, but I really don't want your cuts to get infected..." He heard you mumble, shakily pouring bits of alcohol onto a cleaning pad.
"It's gonna sting..." You warned, Freddy nodding as fast as he could and sending you the wave of a hand, already knowing and preparing himself for the sensation. And when it came, he bit his lip to hold back what would've been squeak coming from his throat.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." You soothed through whispers, wrapping and/or bandaging as quickly yet accurately as you could. "You really should've gone to the E.R., Freddy, I can't-...I feel-...I can only do so much."
"Geez, you really don't want me around much, huh?" He joked, but even you could see the way it held some truth as your actions slowed, looking into his eyes in hopes he saw the truth in yours.
And if not, you'd damn sure say it.
"Freddy, please..." It was almost a scoff, but your tone had dwindled into something much more sincere. "Of course I want you around. I always want you around, you-. . . You make me happy, especially when a lot of things don't. Okay?"
He seemed to be mulling your words over, the boy shuffling every now and again at any certain pain that felt a little too sharp, or when you squoze a bruise a bit too hard.
"I-... It just doesn't feel that way, I guess. Sometimes, I wonder if you even like me." Again, he laughed as though he had spewed a funny joke. You couldn't return it, simply shocked at such a theory before quickly debunking it.
"I like you a lot!!"
. . .
"Sorry, that was...loud." You apologized, earning you another laugh at such sudden passion. "But I do like you, why wouldn't I? I just...had a lot on my plate recently, and I didn't know how to handle it. Especially telling you, so I just...I dunno, I guess I pushed you out, hoping you'd just... know."
Freddy smiled, one that exuded comfort and understanding before pushing your hand to the side so he was able to look at you properly. To hold your cheek in the palm of his hand and admire your face, watching at how you didn't even fight to melt into his touch.
"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I'm sorry that I didn't understand. I'm your friend, so, it's kind of the one job I had and I failed... but, I don't want you to ever feel like you can't talk to me. Or that I won't help you when things get difficult."
And for an extra touch, he gave your hand a squeeze of reassurance. The same hand which held the pad of alcohol in it. You hadn't noticed it when droplets went rushing down your hand and to your wrist, too caught up in the moment. All too ready to express your gratitude and mutual appreciation for him.
But you sure as hell noticed it when it stung you. Burned you, felt more like it, leaving you to let out more winces and whimpers than Freddy had during the cleaning off all of his injuries combined.
"Woah, hey, what's up? You okay?"
"Yeah, just-"
You were fast to yank your hand away, squeezing the sleeve of your sweater around your wrist in an attempt to aid the stinging feeling you were experiencing. This confused Freddy. Enough so to where he forced himself to fully sit up so he could properly inspect whatever was causing you any pain. It was bad enough that he had left you emotionally distraught and that he now needed you to take time off from your work just to help him heal from his recklessness...
The least he could do was return the favor of medical help.
"Here, lemme' see."
You didn't even get to go, "No!" yanking your wrist away from his gentle hold once again in a flurry of panic and unexpectedness.
"What is it? Are you okay?"
You eyes were wide and you didn't understand why you felt such dread. A fear of him seeing what you had never shown anyone, even though it had never occurred to you to be upset about someone finding out before.
Er...not that you were hiding it. Were you?
"It's...nothing, I'm fine. Just let me finish cleaning you up so I can-"
"Hey..." Freddy stopped your swift movements, his heart pounding at just the mere thought of you hiding anymore pain from him. Had someone done something to you? If so, he should've been the one protecting you. It was now his turn to experience the feeling of anxiety swelling in his chest.
"You can tell me, it's alright. I won't be upset, just... talk to me. Okay? Trust me."
And you did. You didn't know if it was his words or the tone laced within them. Whether you were just tired of fighting it or being upset with him. Or him being upset with you. Tired of pushing him away and... who knows? Maybe if he knew, then you could stop...
You slowly inched your arm in his direction, visibly shaking from both the sting of the remaining alcohol and the piling nerves as he steadily bunched up your sleeve.
At first, there was no expression. No words, no nothing. Was he even processing what he was seeing? The red, fine-lined welts up and down your wrist and forearm, some older and healing, some... very fresh. It made you so jarringly aware of how hard you had actually been snapping the hair tie all of this time.
"(Y/N)....what-"
"It was supposed to help." You interjected, fighting back tears you hadn't even noticed arrived. "I read this thing on this website somewhere, and I just- I- I read it, and..."
Tripping and stumbling over your words made you want to just give up all over again. And yet, even though you refused to look up to see the expression of disappointment on Freddy's face, you could feel it. And that was just enough for you to keep desperately grabbing at straws to defend your wayward actions.
"I... I used to...do worse, I was messed up. Really messed up, and it was the only thing that made me feel better. Relief, I mean, maybe not better, but-..."
You choked back a cry.
"I read this thing, and it said that a good alternative as a way to stop would be to snap a hair tie instead. It-It's less than... y'know... and it...I-...I'm sorry."
"(Y/N). . ." Freddy started his sentence with nothing more to say after the whisper of your name, watching as you couldn't help but finally burst into tears right there on the floor in front of him. It was a moment in time when he realized there was nothing much he could say or do, only wanting nothing more than for you to be okay.
"Please don't cry, it's not... it isn't your fault, (N/N)."
You couldn't pull yourself together enough to elicit proper words, wishing you could just express everything you were feeling in one go. Or at least console Freddy because that's what he came over for, after all. He needed you to be there for him, patch him up, and you couldn't even do that. Instead, things have come down to being all about you again.
Little did you know, it's not like Freddy much cared. He'd rather things be all about you and you be okay rather than no one giving you the time of day and you're suffering.
"Here, c'mere..." The boy urged, pulling you closer on his own accord when you didn't budge. "I'll clean them for you this time."
You nodded in thanks as you leaned against his chest, watching carefully through your tears as he slipped the pad of alcohol from your grip gently and began to pour some more onto it.
"And when I'm done," he continued. "There won't be a next time where I'll need to do this, 'cause we're gonna find some even better alternatives together, 'kay? Better than a hair tie."
A silence lingered in the air as you sniffled, only speaking up just before he could press the pad to your welts.
"...You mean like... like a scrunchie?"
. . .
"Pfft-!"
Freddy attempted to shield his laugh away from you, but quickly didn't bother anymore as your broken laugh joined in at your own distasteful joke.
"That's- No, you're- Oh my gosh, that's awful..." He spoke through giggles he fought to contain, even though the comment seemed to lift the both of your spirits instantly. Well, until he had to clean up your wrist...
──────────── •⚡️• ────────────
Freddy's brows furrowed when he realized the sounds of your winces and hisses were no longer to be heard, even when he'd press the damp pad to your wrist or forearm. He was about done, anyways, but he stopped to check on you and became flattered to see that you had fallen into a peaceful sleep against him.
He smiled down at you, admiring you for as long as he could while finally wrapping up your arm the same way you had his cuts and bruises. And, though he would've been more than happy to hold you like this for as long as he could (yes, even if it was on your floor), he looked around the room and was swift to realize there were still a few more tasks that needed completing.
But, most important, your essay. Considering the amount of emotional turmoil it seemed to have caused you over the weekend, he figured it should be something you no longer had to worry about. As carefully as he could without waking you, and scooted and withered his way out from under you, allowing you room to stretch out against the floor. It couldn't have been the best of comfort, but he'd address it later, making his way over to your desk and in front of your open laptop.
. . .
When you woke back up, you were alarmed to no longer feel the weight of Freddy's arms around you. It made you pop straight up, your head and eyes looking around the room like a baby bird who had just hatched until finally, they landed on the body sprawled across your bed.
You almost wish it were you, your mattress much comfier than the ground beneath you. He really just left you there on the floor and took up all of the space, pillows, and blankets, huh?
You eventually urged yourself to stand, knowing you'd have to clean up a little bit at some point and finish your paper before you could join him, but stopped right in your tracks when you noticed the change in screen.
Assignment Due: Monday, 9:30a.m.
Status: Turned In/Completed
"...What, bro...?" You muttered through a rasp of drowsiness, changing directions to head for your desk rather than the clothes and lose trinkets on your floor.
Once you were able to scroll through and read your submitted essay, which you at first thought you might've accidently turned in unfinished on accident, you skimmed over the end and were more than elated to see it had magically finished itself.
Well, okay, maybe not magically...
You looked back to Freddy's sleeping figure, grinning ear to ear at what you knew was his kind gesture. Finishing your paper for you. You'd have to thank him a thousand times in a thousand ways, as many as you could think of. Words couldn't express how grateful you were, not only for him doing your essay but for him in general. You stared at your wrapped up arm, finding yourself smiling harder than you thought possible.
"I love you." You spoke aloud, flopping onto the bed without much care, simply full of giddy for how much you adored having Freddy in your life.
"You're so-"
"...I love you, too..."
You perked up when his sleep murmurs interrupted the start of more praises, smiling down at him in both fondess and amusement as he wrapped an arm around you. Unconsciously...
He had responded to you in his sleep.
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Was that a lame ending, or was that the 'Boom, super profound mega happy ending' I saw it to be in my head...?
Idk yall, you tell me 'causeeee....💀✋🏽. But seriously, I really hope you liked this, I finished it up right when my sickness finally went away so, yeah💕🥴.
~ Star✨️
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askbelgianwaffle · 2 years
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Hey there! So, uh, I’m about to feel old saying this, but...
Today is AskBelgianWaffle’s 10th anniversary~
(Beware, very long and very sappy post below the cut.)
Let’s first give a shout-out to my very first post, April 2012, and my very first idea of a ponysona:
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From the imagination of a high school senior who had just gotten into MLP:FiM and, within less than a year of attempting to write his own FiMFictions, decided to finally craft his own (much taller) ponysona in a Flash pony maker on DeviantArt. Then wanted to join the cool artists by creating a Tumblr pony ask blog and teaching himself how to draw ponies~
Then came borrowing his mom’s Wacom Bamboo tablet, and then proceeding to burn his otherwise uneventful summer of 2012 in his room answering Tumblr asks while learning how to draw digitally:
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From a were-banana, to a purple teacup, to a blue cousin and a purple dinosaur. Not to also forget the many, many life-changing relationships with some incredible folks I’ve gotten to chat with along the way.
The following years of entering university, adjusting my very self-taught “style” further, taking years on and off of answering asks and drawing the brown pon and his friends, plus gaining some extra blogs alongside this one to explore new characters~
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Things start winding down from here as life obligations slowly start taking more of a presence, though it’s safe to say that I never truly set the pen down for good. Even with a couple full-year hiatuses here and there, I’ve been much too stubborn to ever sever ties with this nifty blog of mine that’s brought so much entertainment to me and others for so many years, even after the end of the show that inspired its creation.
This blog’s been though multiple iterations of Tumblrpon, from the early heyday, thru The Purge™, to what it is now.
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I know I haven’t been very active here in these past few years, especially compared to the earlier years when this was much more of a proper ask blog to interact with.
But considering my stubbornness to not want to let go of this blog, I figure I’d at least want to be around to acknowledge how far this blog has come, and mention how deep of an impact this has had on me the past decade!
I’ve been scratching my head on and off for literal months trying to think up with a way to properly honor the ten years this blog has existed. This was about as best as it can get, as I don’t quite have the energy to whip up a comic in time for it. xP
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I’m not the greatest wordsmith, so I’ll just finish with this:
To those of you who have stuck it out all these years as well as those of you who have only been here for a fraction of the time, to all of my friends who’ve made a deep impact on who I am to this day including those I haven’t spoken with in a while, and to you who managed to read through this sappy nostalgic-trip extensive Tumblr post,
Thank you for the company~
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P.S., no, this is not me signing off of the blog. Where’d you even get that idea from?! >:O
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motswolo · 1 year
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Hey Mot! This is going to be a long post that you probably don’t care about lol, but I’d thought I’d share anyway!
During winter break of my freshman year of college, I decided I was finally going to watch the Harry Potter movies and read the books since I never had before and felt very out of the loop. I immediately fell in love with the world and felt so much comfort in the story.
Exactly a year later during winter break of my sophomore year of college, I started to see tik toks of Wolfstar on my for you page and was so confused. I’d never heard of Wolfstar or anyone shipping these two characters, who for me at the time, I didn’t pay much attention too at all. Anyways, I decided to read my first ever fan fiction All The Young Dudes (which was a hefty task for never having read fanfiction before lol) too see what the hype was about. I literally spent the next 5 days glued to my phone reading this story from start to finish with almost no sleep because I was so invested in the story and the characters. It was a wild ride and I found myself becoming a part of this beautiful fandom that made me feel so seen and accepted.
Then exactly a year after that, last December during my junior year winter break, I got COVID really bad and was quarantined all by myself with no friends or family around. It was a really tough two weeks, but during that time I started to hear about The Cadence of Part-time Poets through tik tok. It sounded interesting and it was pretty well along at that time so I knew it was perfect for me to read while I was stuck in quarantine. Similar with ATYD, from the first chapter I couldn’t put your story down. Back then, the story was close to finishing up Year 12 and those first two years of a school during the story brought me so much joy during a hard time in my life. I’ve been following along ever since and have loved every chapter of your absolutely incredible, amazing, unique, and well-crafted story.
Every single character, cannon or OC, is just so incredible and nuanced that I can’t help but love them all so much. Obviously I have such a bias for Remus and Sirius as I am a Wolfstar girl to my core, but the way you write them is so beautiful and their love for one another, beyond just romantic, is so profound and moving I love it so much!
But the character I was shocked to find myself clinging to was Mary. I read ATYD during a time when I was seriously questioning my sexuality and figuring myself out, so Marlene was the character I really saw myself in and found to be a true comfort character. I’ve always loved her in the fandom and have found such joy in your take on her in this fic! However, I was so surprised to see how much I grew to love your version of Mary. I love all the girls in this fic so much, but Mary is just my favorite of the bunch. I love the way you write her and how confident she is, funny, ambitious, and such a loyal and true friend. I feel like it makes me such a true Marlene kinnie to just love and adore Mary in this fic! I was re-reading a few scenes recently and came across this quote from chapter 45 Tempo Rubato: “And Mary had also done well for herself, even if it had taken her a while to pick up the pieces.” This part just makes me so excited for her role in the future of this story. Obviously from the quote, it won’t be easy for her, whatever she comes to face in the future, but I cannot wait to see her grow and mature and truly find happiness for herself, whatever that may be, because she’s so strong and resilient I just know she will!
Anyways, sorry for the long rant lol, but I’m so glad to have found this fandom almost three years ago and your story along with it. I’m so excited for the future of this story and can’t wait to see where you take these amazing characters! Thank you for creating this wonderful work of art that truly brings indescribable joy to so many! You’re a true treasure in this fandom and I will continue to support this story and trust wherever you will lead it! 🤍
You sent this to me literally two months ago, and I'm sorry for only getting to it now 🥹 I love long messages so much, but when I get an influx of them I sometimes let a few fall through the cracks. Even if what has happened recently with me has somehow soured your feelings toward Cadence, I hope you still get the same about of joy and happiness toward wolfstar's general love story. It's honestly so special and profound that we can connect with a cast of characters that have virtually no real source material.
I'm so pleased you enjoy Mary's character. I'm a lesbian who identifies on the aro/ace spectrum and her and Marlene have just become so incredibly dear to me. Mary is spunky and lively but she's also deep and complex. I'm grateful you enjoy reading about her.
Sooooo much love 💗💗💗💗
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fluffypotatey · 11 months
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f g p r from the fanfic ask game? please?
Hey bestie 🥰 thanks so much for the ask this one took me awhile lol
G - Do you write your story from start to finish? or out of order?
i like writing things from start to finish. key word: like. my brain, however, likes to jump ahead to specific scenes and events. i used to fight that bit and force myself to forge on along and wait until i finally made it to that part in the story.
lmao that was a horrible idea. those scenes would continue to haunt me and pester me until i finally give up and wrote them. so i just stop fighting it and write out of order. (honestly it was a blessing for me to decide to make my lmk one-shot series not in chronological order bc then i’d never get it done lol
it’s why my writing can get slow sometimes because while writing the chapter for the next event, i’ll be hit with some scene 2 chapters later or 3 scenes after some confrontation i haven’t started yet!!! i have ch7 for the dr geyer fic. it’s in my docs but i haven’t finished it bc someone *looks at brain* wants to write more of s6b bc Theo’s in that one >:(
P - Are you what George RR Martine would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance vs letting the story unfold as you go?)
you know, i know i read of this before like years ago but i don’t remember it lol. had to look it up to make sure i was understanding this right.
so… i think it depends?
with my merlin multi-chap fic and my medieval fantasy wip i plan those in advance. the merlin fic? i have that 1st arc’s plot down, i know where the story will lead to, i even know which characters i’ll keep alive or keep dead. 
with my one-shots (and my one-shots that chose to say “fuck you”), those are a spur of the moment kind of writing. i had something playing in my head that’s wants to be free, so i write it down and pray that it’s satisfied (it typically is not which is why you see a lot of my one-shots become multi-chapters or one-shot series). these don’t have a solid plan when i begin. i tend to come up with it as the plot comes together. 
tbh this works well with my fics bc i have a base outline: the actual show/book/movie. with my dr geyer fic, i know where s5-6 begin and end. sure, i’m choosing what gets to happen in-between, but i at least have the comfort of that base. the lmk series? it’s literally just me plugging in an oc and forcing a couple characters to air-out their issues. 
R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
oh definitely. tbh my main one would have to be Lemony Snicket. fell in love with the narration of those stories. the snark, the personality, the vocabulary, the inner dialogue. idk it just did something to 9 year old me lol
another big one i’d have to say is Branden Sanderson. not really his writing, but how complex and beautiful his worlds are. i didn’t know that you could create and capture the essence such beautiful worlds in writing but reading his books and seeing them come to life really influenced my desire to write and design fantastical worlds or even just explore snippets of other worlds like BBC Merlin Albion.
F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it
babe, i’m so sorry but it took me forever to choose. i debated on whether i should do lmk or teen wolf or abc merlin or even shit i haven’t posted bc i love too many of these T^T
but dw i did find one (it’ll be under the cut bc this got long jfc). i giggled a lot when writing it just because the back and forth with Liam and Mason interjecting was fun. also i picked this one to prove the dr geyer fic hasn’t been forgotten. i’ve just been….preocupied and going feral over immortal monkeys
*
“I’m not here to start anything,” Mr. Doughlas said to them calmly. “I just want the mountain ash barrier open, mh?”
“Yeah, because this isn’t starting anything,” Liam growled.
Mr. Douglas smiled, sharp teeth in full display. Again, he twisted his claws in the chimera. Theo, again, kept quiet. The only indication he was in any being came from his winces. Liam can’t tell if he should be impressed or horrified that getting stabbed in the spine barely got a reaction out of Theo. 
“This is simply a contingency. I just want the barrier open, then I’ll be out of your hair. I promise. No funny business.”
Theo chuckled (well, more like gurgled) and snorted.
“Says the Nazi.”
Douglas drove his claws further into Theo’s spine, polite smile cracking, in response. The chimera grunted, but Theo just laughed again.
“Sorry, sorry.” Theo’s smirk looked almost deranged with the blood coating his lips. “Nazi was the insult others threw at you, right?”
“He’s a Nazi?!” Mason shrieked. 
Doughlas sighed, all politeness disappearing as he addressed them all.
“Must we obsess over my previous occupation? I don’t see how this is important. I was just a soldier there.”
“Oh yeah, being a part of a genocidal fascist group should totally be overlooked!” Liam exclaimed. “Not like you were involved in and advocated for any of that!”
“Yeah, it adds nothing for us to even slightly trust you,” Mason added.
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randolphbellmd · 2 years
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i should write this all down somewhere but i want to tell people and i can’t yet tell anyone so i’m telling the 4 people in my screen who will click this post. hi friends.
in may i was talking to my (bad) therapist and kind of off-hand said "y’know, the only thing that’s been motivating me to finish my PhD is the promise of a gender neutral title. nothing else. it’s just the ‘Dr.’.” i joked about that 7 years ago, when i first started wondering about being nonbinary. i thought about it for another few weeks, and started googling HRT and top surgery and ftm/ftn stuff and after a while it wasn’t just “oh, lemme look this up and see what’s what about top surgery” it became actual research. i checked insurance coverage. recovery time. procedures. local surgeons. timelines. i put money into a savings account. i weighed pros (many) and cons (one: i’m scared of surgery). the next day said “sam, i think we really want to pursue this,” and reached out to the hospital. a month later had an appointment for a top surgery consult.
now, dear reader, it is in april of next year. like a full 8 months away. that was somewhat intentional. because if i can keep up my momentum with work, that means that i’ll be finishing my degree sometime between august and december of next year. surgery would likely be sometime around october or november, six months from the consult. right around my 30th birthday.
since i got the appointment consult, it feels like i’m actually truly living for me. not just going through the motions, but moving forward. towards something. i should keep the pace with work... because if i don’t then i risk influencing the surgery. i should work out... so that i can recover from surgery and feel good about my body during all of this process. even silly little things like making sure i’m going to the bank, eating oatmeal for breakfast, trying to fix my complexion, and telling my therapist that i don’t want to go on T because i want to like me and my body right now before i try to change more of it. which?? was such an out-of-body experience that she was like sam, did you hear what you just said and i was like oh... so antidepressants and transitioning do work magic, huh. even for me.
granted this hasn’t been for that long, maybe a month, but i have literally been stuck in a severe rut of mental unwellness for over three years. tried SSRI’s, two therapists, and had a neuropsychologist ask “have you tried keeping a planner?” three days before my 2nd pandemic xmas. the thought of having to live every single day of my life with just me to keep me going... awful. and it was impossible to think about a years long research project. started meds on new years and have been fueled by spite and bupropion ever since. but i finally have a light at the end of my PhD tunnel again, and it’s not just “make real money with a real job”. it’s this surgery. i have something to motivate me to work out that isn’t just “i don’t like the way i look”. it’s that i want to love my body when it finally looks the way i’ve always wanted it to look. everything will not magically be cured by a surgery but what i need is to feel like i can and should and will do things for me.
the sad part of all of this is that i can't really share this yet. there’s one (1) friend in real life that knows this is coming. i’m scared to tell my parents. i don’t talk to my other friends that much so this probably wouldn’t come up until next summer. i can’t tell anyone that the reason i am feeling good is that i am actually working towards becoming the most me i have ever been. it’s kind of lonely in that way but hey what the fuck else is new. i’m always lonely.
this got long. i’ll delete it later. but anyway. all those stories about how transitioning changes lives... i didn’t think it’d be me considering how slow and fluid my “transition” has been and how i have never really let go of former sam i’ve just grown into current sam... but... it is changing my life and the surgery hasn’t even happened yet. if you told me a year ago or two or even three that i’d be looking forward to a future, i wouldn’t believe you. and yet. here we are.
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