#hi this took like. somewhere between 14 and 16 hours. probably more

[nibeul]

hidden inventory!

[hbyrde36]

Chapter 16!

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

ao3 link

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 (Chapter 17 (final) coming soon!)

One of Wayne’s hands landed like a comforting weight on Steve's back. “It’s gonna be alright. Whatever you done, I'm sure there's a way to fix it.”

Steve let out a half hysterical bark of laughter and finally lifted his head from between his shaking hands. 

“I don’t know if I can, but I have to try. Can you head downtown? I need you to drop me off somewhere.” Eddie could be anywhere. The theater, the club, or any one of the many other businesses he was involved in, but in any case they would be headed in the right direction.

Wayne nodded and made a u-turn, speeding down the road as Steve picked his phone back up off the footwell and dialed Dustin. 

“Hey Steve! What’s up?”

Steve’s heartbeat picked up at the sound of the boy’s voice. How could he ever have put Dustin's safety in Henry’s hands? He felt shame wash over him like a tidal wave, for a growing number of reasons.

“Where are you right now?” Steve asked in a rush.

“Underground still, I just got up. Everything okay?”

“Is Eddie with you? I need to talk to him right away, it’s important.”

“Oh.” Dustin exclaimed, surprised. “Um, is it an emergency? Because he’s upstairs in the theater getting ready for the party and..” 

Steve had no idea what party Dustin was talking about but it hardly mattered. He considered trying to talk to Eddie mind to mind, it might be faster, but he was still a few miles away, and  wasn’t sure what the range was on that kind of power. 

“Yes, it’s an emergency.” Steve interrupted. “No, everything is not okay, I need you to run the phone to him as fast as you can. Please hurry.”

“Shit. Okay, hang on.”

The sound that came through the phone was a bizarre mix of rapidly pounding footsteps and a whooshing so loud it was like he was standing in a wind storm. In less than two minutes the phone was being handed off, and Eddie’s familiar voice filled the line. 

“Steve?” The vampire sounded almost panicked, as if he knew that only a matter of life and death would have Steve calling him like this.  

“Eddie, I…” He swallowed hard. “There’s… fuck… there’s a vampire coming after you. He’s…” He trailed off again, throat tight as he struggled to tell Eddie what he’d done. 

Eddie scoffed. “Is that all? Tell him to get in line behind all the others.”

“No, you don’t understand. I-” Steve took a deep breath and blew it out slow. “Eddie, I gave you up to him. I told him that you spend your daylight hours under the theater. I even gave him the layout of the place. I told him everything, everything. His name is Henry Creel and he’s the oldest thing I've ever met. Older than Billy, older than Anglea, in fact I think he’s Angela’s master. I thought…” Steve sighed, there was no point trying to explain. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, but they are working together. It’s all been a plan to trick me into betraying you and helping them, and I fell for it.”

The silence on the other end of the line was absolute, and he thought Eddie might have hung up on him. He wouldn’t have blamed him if he had. 

Steve pulled the phone away from his ear to check but the call was still connected. 

“Eddie?”

“You were really going to let him kill me?” Eddie breathed the words, the shock and hurt so painfully clear in his voice.

Steve’s chest began to ache. “You marked me again after I refused. I… you just kept pushing and… I was so mad at you. I… I didn't feel like I had any other choice.” He said weakly, the excuse sounding lame now even to his own ears. 

Eddie cleared his throat and when he spoke again sounded a little more like his usual self. “So what changed? Why warn me now if you wanted me dead so badly?”

Steve pressed on, ignoring the way Eddie’s words hit him like a knife in the gut, though he probably deserved the pain. This was too important, he had to tell him their plan. “Henry wants to take control of the city so he can order all of your vampires to kill humans. He means for there to be a massacre tomorrow night. When we met, he told me he thought legalized vampirism was helping his kind to spread too quickly. I agreed with him but I didn't know what he meant to do. He wants vampires to be hunted again. I didn't know this was his plan to discredit them.”

“So that’s it? You are warning me now to save human lives?”

“Well, yes, but…” Steve stammered.

“This is what it took for you to believe I am the lesser evil?”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut, the pain in his chest blossoming to the point that he could hardly feel anything else. Had he just been a scared idiot this whole time? 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered it so softly he wasn’t sure Eddie had even heard until he replied.

“It’s okay, Steve.” Eddie said, so much hurt and resignation carried in three simple words. “I will do what I can to save your precious humans.” 

“It isn’t like that, please, I’m on my way to you now. I-” Steve cut himself off, afraid of what he was about to say. He started again. “He’s so powerful, Eddie. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

“I’ll see what arrangements I can make. I’ll put up a good fight at the very least.”

Steve wanted to say- We! We’ll put up a good fight!- But he didn’t think his late show of support would carry much weight with the vampire now. Instead he concentrated on the first part of Eddie’s statement.

“What does that mean? Shouldn’t we just hide you or something?”

“I have an idea, if this Henry will agree to it.”

“And you’re going to do what? Negotiate with him?”

“I’m going to do the best I can with what I have. Send his number to this phone.” Eddie paused before adding. “See you soon, Steve.” Before hanging up. 

Steve stared down at the blank screen wondering how the hell they were going to get out of this. He hoped Jane had something up her sleeve. 

“Was that your vampire on the phone then?” Wayne prodded.

Steve didn’t bristle at the use of your vampire like he might have before. 

He was tired of denying the truth, even to himself. 

Look at where it had gotten him. 

Look at what he’d done in his denial.

Steve nodded, throat tight. He owed Wayne an explanation, he knew that. 

He started to try and talk but Wayne stopped him. 

“I think I got the general idea of it, son. You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

The older man paused, keeping his eyes on the road while he dug through his center console. He pulled out an old pack of cigarettes and shook one out, steering with his knee for a moment as he lit it. Wayne hadn’t smoked for years. 

“Did I ever tell you I was adopted?”

“No…” Steve had no idea where this was coming from, or where it could possibly be going, but he wasn’t going to question the man.

“Yep.” Wayne nodded, smiling a little and gesturing with the cigarette as he spoke. “Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, the folks who raised me, they couldn't have any kids of their own. They had these neighbor’s, the Munsons, who were blessed with seven children, including a little surprise newborn me 5 years after their last. They were struggling as it was without one more mouth to feed, so the Thompson's took me in, adopted me and raised me as their own.” 

Munson?

As in, Eddie Munson?

“What are you saying, Wayne?”

“I’m saying, I did a little research on my family tree, my birth family,  and it turns out that your Eddie is my many-times great uncle. He didn’t have any kids of his own before he died, er well, before he was turned, but his brother did.”

“I don’t know what to say, I'm so sorry. I-”

“It’s alright. You didn’t know, and what’s done is done. I can’t really blame you for how you feel, and there was a time when I probably would have done the same thing as you. I’m not telling you all this to make you feel guilty, I’m telling you so you’ll understand that there is no way in hell you’re convincing me to sit this one out. Your Eddie might not know it, but he's my family, and I take care of my own.”

“Even though he’s a vampire?”

Wayne shrugged, peering at him sideways with a meaningful look. “Nobody’s perfect.” 

Steve got the feeling they weren’t talking about his family tree any more.

Wayne blew a long plume of smoke out the window and glanced at him again. “You still think your feelings for him aren’t real?” 

“Even if they were, there's a big difference between accepting the fact that your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink or refuses to take out the trash, and accepting that they, y’know– drink blood and kill people.”

“You sure he’s killed?”

Steve gave Wayne his own look then, feeling mildly justified for it. “He’s several hundred years old and a master vampire so I'm gonna say yeah, probably."

“Okay, fair enough, but, you’ve killed too.”

“That’s different.” Steve said, immediately defensive.

“Is it?”

Was it different? Steve let himself think about it, really think about it for the first time, but how could he really judge? He didn’t know anything about Eddie’s past, had never bothered to ask. He hadn’t thought it mattered. He just assumed all these bad things about him based solely on the fact that he was a vampire. 

“Okay, fine. But there's still the marks to consider and-”

“Listen, I get it Steve. Really I do, but wouldn’t it be a shame to throw away something like that if there’s a chance that it is real?”

Steve looked away. He had to. He stared out the window and watched the world go by at 70 miles an hour and wondered what he’d given up by being so close-minded. “I don’t think it matters anymore.” He muttered softly.

He had tried to get Eddie killed, and unless a miracle happened it was likely that the vampire would die at Henry’s hands. And at Steve’s by extension. 

It was a hell of a time for him to start accepting his feelings, the same moment Eddie was no doubt learning to hate him in return. They might all be dead in the next twenty-four hours anyway, so maybe now wasn’t the time to be thinking about it 

Wayne’s expression turned grim. “Where are we headed?”

“The Corroded Coffin.”

Steve made one more phone call before they arrived at the theater. He agonized over the idea for a few short minutes, but ultimately decided they needed all the help and firepower they could get. 

He didn’t exactly trust Nancy, not after she spied on him and who knows what else, but there just weren’t that many people he knew who could go up against the monsters and win. He also knew that as much as she liked to pretend she was in this business for the money, it meant more to her than that. Nancy liked knowing she was helping people, saving people, something she hadn’t been able to do for her childhood friend. 

Once he had explained what was going on, and what the city stood to lose if Eddie fell, she was fully on board, contract be damned.

Nancy had a room in the city, so she arrived at the same time he and Wayne did, and the three of them walked in together. 

The whole place was fully decked out for Halloween, or more specifically for Mischief Night, or Devil’s Night as it said in dripping letters on the marquee. Even the venue’s sign had been changed for the event. A giant blood splattered sheet had been hung over it, emblazoned with the words “Hellfire Club” and a crude devil’s head logo that all looked like it had been painted by hand. 

It was meant to look as though the theater had been taken over by a Satanic Cult for the night, but really it was just a show like any other. With themed cocktails, of course. The flyers for the party advertised all sorts of entertainment, from musical acts, to chainsaw jugglers, contortionists, and fire-eaters. The grand finale was to be a ritual “sacrifice” to the Devil himself. 

They had to fight through a thick crowd just to make it in the doors. Steve couldn’t believe how busy it was. Only a few nights ago people had been running out of here screaming after the giant cobra had eaten its trainer. Now it was as if it never happened. Was good entertainment really that hard to come by?

Steve led the way as the three of them pushed inside. He wondered briefly if he would have to seek Eddie out, or if Max or someone else would be waiting for him, but as he crossed the threshold he heard Eddie whisper through his mind. 

‘Steve?’

Even as nothing more than a disembodied voice in his head, Eddie still managed to make him shiver.

‘I’m here.’ 

Steve couldn’t help saying the words out loud at the same time he spoke them in his head, pushing them down the long path of their new connection. For a moment he could feel Eddie’s relief brush up against his own before the vampire’s voice sounded again. 

’Meet me backstage, use the door we took to get to the snake. Hurry, there's not much time.’ 

Steve had stopped dead in his tracks, gripping on to Wayne’s arm as he listened, the press of bodies around them threatening to send him off balance. It was his own fault, if he hadn’t ignored these powers for so long he would be used to this kind of stuff by now and it wouldn't be so disorienting. 

Wayne seemed to have caught on to what was happening but Nancy was looking at him curiously. Thankfully, she didn’t ask, just kept her head down and followed the two men as Steve pulled Wayne along behind him. 

He had so many questions, but for once he didn’t stop to argue with the vampire or second guess him. If Eddie said hurry, Steve would hurry. He had no doubt he would find out what was going on soon enough. 

There were two men standing on either side of the door that would lead them backstage. It took a moment for Steve to realize he recognized them, a pair of the werewolves that had fought side-by-side with him against the snake only a few nights ago. He waited for their snarls, sure that they and everyone here who called Eddie master would know what he had done, but the wolves only gave small nods of recognition and moved aside so that he and his guests could pass by. 

Steve took a moment to gather himself before pushing the door open. 

Eddie was in there. 

Steve could feel him just on the other side, the vampire's power calling to his own, pulsing like a beacon in the dark. He took a deep breath, and prepared to face him.

The wings were filled with vampires and wereanimals, all dressed for the occasion and whatever acts they were set to be a part of tonight. Steve recognized most of them. Jeff, Argyle, and Dustin of course. The rats were all there too, Gareth and Will, his brother and their mom, Joyce, with her first aid kit once again slung over her shoulder, Grant and a few others whose name’s he didn’t know.

There was the dark skinned brother and sister pair who were once again hanging out near Max. When last he met them Steve could’t place what they were, could only feel their otherworldly energy but now he knew instantly that they were werewolves too. His power could now recognize them and their tie to Eddie. 

In fact, he could feel the way they were all tied to him, could feel their loyalty to Eddie like an invisible brand and by extension to Steve as well. 

If he concentrated, he could sense their people in his mind, could shuffle through them like a deck of cards. 

For the wolves, he felt the steady beat of each of their pulses as though his fingers were pressed to their skin. Little flickering flames that represented the lives of each vampire who owed allegiance to them. 

The rats were different, he couldn't feel them in that way, as they had no mystical bond with Eddie but they were allies, maybe even friends. That much he could discern.   

It was all too much, and Steve slammed his shields harder into place. He didn’t deserve to hold these people's lives in his hands like that. He didn’t deserve to feel connected to them this way. He certainly didn’t deserve to think of himself and Eddie as if they were one, not now.

When he was no longer overwhelmed by his new abilities, Steve’s eyes found Eddie right away, and as usual the sight took his breath away.

Tonight Eddie was not just the owner of the theater, but the star of the show. The leader of the Hellfire Club turned satanic cult. He was dressed for the role, looking every bit the 80’s metalhead persona that he was trying to embody. He wore his hair down and a little more wild than he usually kept it. His black jeans were tight and ripped at the knee giving a peak of pale skin as he moved. He wore a black and white raglan shirt with the same artwork that could be seen outside printed on the front of it. A black leather jacket and an old school battle vest had been thrown over the whole thing to complete the ensemble.

It should have looked ridiculous, and on anyone else it might have, but Eddie made it work somehow. Steve hadn’t even known he was into the bad boy look, but as he stared at the vampire he felt as if he had stepped into another one of his wet dreams.

If only.

Eddie was looking back at him with just as much intensity, though his expression was unreadable. For the first time Steve wished he could feel what the vampire was feeling, to know if all of that simmering want had truly turned to hatred and disgust. He even found himself following the connection, the thread that he imagined joining the two of them together, but he was met with empty air. Eddie was shielding too, and hard.

They stared at each other unmoving for what felt like forever but couldn't have been more than a few blinks when Steve felt a little push on his back.

Wayne.

It made him take an involuntary step forward and he used that momentum to carry him closer until finally he and Eddie were face to face. Steve reached for something, anything to say. He opened his mouth, closed it again. Nothing was right, nothing was enough. 

Eddie came to his rescue, again.

“Thank you, Steve, for coming, and for bringing your… friends. I’m afraid we need all the help we can get.”

“What’s happening?” Steve asked.

“Henry and I made a deal, a sort-of compromise. He agreed to battle this out with me face-to-face as long as I agreed to let the fight happen on stage in front of the public as part of the show tonight, so the masses can see what vampires are really like.”

“But, all those people, we can’t put them in danger like that.”

Eddie took Steve gently by the wrist and led him away from the rest of the group all the way past the backdrop curtain. He looked back at Wayne, concerned about leaving him alone with all these powerful strangers but the older man just gave him a nod of encouragement. He’d be fine, even now Nancy was introducing him to Dustin and Steve could see the instant fondness in Wayne's smile.  

Steve wasn’t sure where they were going until Eddie opened a door that was all but hidden in the wall. It was a small storage room that mostly seemed to house different color curtains and backdrops and even a few small setpieces. Eddie waved him inside and shut the door behind them, resting his back against it as he finally replied.

“There were very few choices available to me. I raised the same concerns with your former ally and did my best to negotiate on behalf of our human audience. Henry has agreed that the bloodshed will be limited to those who join the fight on the stage.” Eddie spoke softly and Steve realized why he moved them. He didn’t want to be overheard. Something about that fact felt ominous.

Steve kept his voice low as well, aware that almost everyone outside the closet had supernatural hearing. “And you trust that he’ll follow that?”

“He gave his word, and whatever you might believe about vampires we don’t give it lightly. I think he will do what he says. He has also pledged to limit his use of certain powers. He could very likely bring this whole building down around us with a simple thought, but even he agreed that the humans would never blame that on vampires and that wouldn’t exactly help meet his goal.“

“Do we have any hope of winning here? Can we beat him?”

Eddie bowed his head for a moment then looked up at Steve with a sad smile, eyes swimming with something akin to grief as he stepped closer and reached up to tuck a stray hair behind Steve's ear. 

“We.” Eddie said, laughing a little bit at himself. “For months I’ve longed to hear you refer to us as a we. I only wish it hadn’t taken such extremes to get there.” Eddie leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “We will do our best, but I fear even that will not be enough.”

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He didn't understand. “Why aren't you mad at me? You should hate me for what I did.”

“I could never hate you, sweetheart. I’ve always understood why you felt the way you did, I just held out hope that one day you’d change your mind. That you might, with time, understand me too and be able to accept me and the way I feel for you.”

Steve froze. “The way you felt about me, you mean? I betrayed you, tried to kill you. Surely that has…changed things.”

Eddie dropped his shields then. Not all the way, he didn’t want to overwhelm Steve, he just wanted him to taste the truth in his words. Steve knew all of that in a split second, just as he knew suddenly and without a doubt that to Eddie, this was real. It always had been. The physical attraction was there, intense and undeniable, but nestled in tightly against it was the warmth and sweetness of love. It was all laid out for him, clear as crystal. Eddie wanted Steve in every way it was possible to want another person. Mind, body, and soul. 

He saw himself through Eddie’s eyes, and couldn’t believe anyone could see him like that.

As he withdrew from Steve and pulled his shields back into place, Eddie pressed a hand over his own heart like he could feel all that emotion making its way back home to be locked up tight once more. 

“How could I ever feel anything but love for you, my beautiful stubborn boy.”

“Eddie, I…”

There was a knock on the door and Dustin called out from the other side of it. “I”m sorry to interrupt but, they’re here, Eddie. It’s time.” The kid’s voice shook and Steve wondered if he knew how doomed they all were.

Eddie smiled sadly at Steve. “Hold that thought, sweetheart. Whatever it is, you can tell me later, if we survive this.”

He turned to leave and Steve couldn't let that be it. Couldn’t let that be their last moment alone together if this all went south. From one breath to the next Steve let his mental walls turn to rubble and fall to the ground. Gone were the massive barriers that once stood tall between them. He’d left a crack open before, enough to hear Eddie whisper through his mind, to receive whatever Eddie might send his way but now he was wide open. Not only to Eddie but to himself. He finally opened the box, letting out all the things he’d been shoving down deep inside since the first time he laid eyes on the vampire in front of him.

Steve saw the moment it hit Eddie, all of it, how he really felt about him.

The fear was still there.

The fear of what Eddie was. The fear of losing himself to the marks. The fear of his feelings not being real, the fear if they were. 

His ever present want for Eddie was there too. The desire he felt for the other man was intense, palpable, like candy on the tongue. Eddie was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, something he couldn't quite believe that he was allowed to touch.

In the middle of it all was a love that had spread like wildflowers, growing and blooming since day one, no matter how hard he fought it.  

Steve grabbed Eddie by the arm and spun him back around, surging forward to crash their lips together. He used his grip on the vampire to tug him closer, until the front of their bodies were pressed tightly together. Eddie grabbed on to him too, throwing his arms around Steve's shoulders as the kiss turned desperate. Steve wound a hand into all that dark curly hair and couldn’t believe it was the first time he’d ever let himself do it. A pained sound escaped him as he realized It might also be the last. 

Steve didn’t break the kiss until he was out of breath and had no choice but to pull away as a sob forced its way out of his throat. A tear spilled over, escaping his eye to roll down his cheek. Eddie cupped his face on either side and kissed it away.

Eddie rested his forehead against Steve’s. There was so much to say, but they were out of time. 

“Promise me something?” Eddie whispered, his breath ghosting over Steve’s lips with the question.

“Anything.”

“If it comes down to it… if I… I need you to build those shields up again. Higher and thicker than ever before. Cut yourself off from me as thouroughly as you can, it’ll be your best chance and I… I can’t stand the thought of you feeling me die or of pulling you down with me.”

Steve let out another sob that shook his entire body. He didn’t want this. He wanted to argue, he wanted to rage, he wanted to scream that no, he would be there to the very end. He would not abandon Eddie to be alone in his final moments on this earth. 

But Eddie had asked him to promise, this is what he wanted, and Steve had said anything. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak as more tears streamed down his face. Eddie kissed them all away as if he could drink down the very sorrow that caused them and eliminate it. 

It was time to open the curtain, and everyone took their places. 

There were two raised platforms on either side of the stage facing each other, with a large open space in between interrupted only by the sacrificial stone altar which sat dead in the center of everything. 

Eddie took to the platform on their side, Henry on the other, both alone on their daises with their respective armies on the stage below. 

At first glance it would seem as though Henry were severely outnumbered. He had only Owens, Jane, and Angela on his side, along with her band of teenage vampires. Four of them total, the two boys Steve and Wayne had faced on the road and another girl with dark hair that he hadn’t seen before, a contrast to Angela’s bleach blonde. 

Perhaps the strangest thing though was the fact that they were all in costume. It was nearly Halloween and they were supposed to be putting on a show so Steve supposed it made some sense. 

Henry himself was dressed as a southern pastor. His white dress shirt and its high collar were paired with a black jacket, pants, and wide brimmed hat. The visual was striking though of course he carried no bible and wore no cross or rosary. It was the perfect antithesis to Eddie’s Devil worshiper persona. 

Owens was made up as Frankenstein’s monster and Jane had gone meta in a very classic and childlike witch’s costume. All of the vampires were all done up in 50’s poodle skirts and greaser jackets, with high ponytails, and slicked back hair respectively.

Eddie’s side of the stage, their side, was comparatively packed. 

Steve, Wayne, and Nancy had all suited up in various bits of leather, denim, and metal with as many weapons as each could carry strapped to their bodies. They were dressed as what they were, vampire hunters. Dustin, Jeff, and a few others wore the same Hellfire Club shirts as Eddie, playing the parts of fellow members of the cult. The rest of the home team looked a little like circus performers, lots of spandex and glitter, whatever they had put on for the acts they’d been planning to perform before the show had turned into a war.

Eddie raised a microphone to his lips and with nothing but a subtle clearing of his throat managed to silence the crowd. 

As hundreds waited with bated breath, he sent his power through the throngs of spectators, and Steve was along for the ride. He felt Eddie’s influence even as he was unaffected by it. He projected calm into the audience with the suggestion for everyone to remain in their seats no matter what they might see or hear tonight. It was all just a show, after all. It wasn’t done with words, it was a feeling, a planted instinct. Most people wouldn’t even know it was happening but they would follow the subconscious hint to the tee.

“Welcome to Hellfire!” Eddie raised his arm high above his head as he belted the words out.

The crowd went wild. Applause, shouts, and whistles could be heard all around the theater, with many of the patrons even screaming Eddie’s name.

He hushed the crowd and again they complied almost instantly. “You have all come here for a party this evening, for a show unlike any other and I'm sorry to say that our plans for you have changed.”

There were a few grumbles of disappointment, but not much. Apparently the audience trusted that Eddie knew what he was doing, maybe even thought that this was all planned. 

“Fear not my friends because tonight you will see something even more entertaining, more dangerous and terrifying than any act of fire or blades. Tonight you will bear witness to a battle for your very lives and for the soul of this city that we all call home.”

He paused again, seeming to bask in the applause that rolled over him from the adoring masses. Steve knew better. He was still wide open to Eddie, and Eddie to him, and he could feel the fear, panic, and dread that threatened to overwhelm him even as he put on this act for everyone else. Eddie looked down from his place on the platform and caught Steve's eye. They exchanged no words, no whispers in the mind, it would hurt too much. But it was there plainly in Eddie's eyes. 

Hopelessness.

He looked away from Steve and back out into the crowd as he finished his speech. 

“On this, our beloved Devil’s night, the monsters of this city will fight to the death to retain control of it. If we win, then life as you know it will carry on as peaceful as before. If our enemies win, there will be chaos and bloodshed in the streets. They will feed on every innocent human in this city until they are drained dry and lifeless.” 

Thunderous applause spread through the theater again. Steve couldn't believe people were buying this, couldn’t they feel the tension on stage?

A second microphone appeared. This one in Henry’s hands as he took his own turn to address the audience. “Tonight, humans, you will learn a valuable lesson. Vampires cannot be tamed, and the monsters are not your friends. It was foolish to think that you could live next to us in peace without consequences. We are dangerous, we are killers, and we will destroy all of you if you let us in. By the end of the night I believe you will all wish to return to the days where creatures like us were hunted, forced to hide in the dark. Please believe me when I say, I am doing all of this for your own good. You will all die someday, would it not be better for your deaths to mean something? To contribute to a better life for future generations?”

The applause was a little more scattered this time, some folks were confused on how to react to the strangers words. Steve turned away, he couldn’t worry about the crowd anymore, didn't want to watch himself fail through the audience's eyes or see their reactions to the very real carnage that was about to happen. 

Nothing after the speeches had been planned. It was a battle like any other. Wild and violent.

And they were losing.

In the beginning Steve had run around like a madman, trying to keep his eye on everyone he cared about most all at once, but it was impossible to keep them all in his sights. He was unsurprised to see that Wayne had taken up a post next to Dustin. The kid was a vampire, but an inexperienced fighter. Between the two of them though, with Dustin’s power and Wayne’s skill, Steve had to let it go, and trust that they could keep each other alive.

He lost track of Nancy next, she was taking on Jake and Chad at the same time and had just managed what Steve hoped was a killing blow on one of them when the other female vampire, the one with the dark hair, tackled her and the two disappeared having rolled past the many other one-on-one and two-on-one fights that were happening all across the space. 

Steve himself had taken a special interest in Angela. Apart from Henry, she was the most dangerous thing on the stage and therefore his number one target. Jane might have given her a run for her money given the chance, but the young girl was still playing at being on Henry’s side for now.

She was going easy on them though, Steve could tell. He watched her just long enough to make sure she wouldn't hurt any of his people and realized that she wasn’t attacking anyone so much as defending herself when one of the wolves or rats got too close. He had thought about warning Eddie and the others that the witch was on their side but he was afraid of blowing her cover too soon.

Steve managed to hold his own against Angela far better than he had the last time, no doubt having the third mark to thank for that, but somewhere along the line he got distracted by a slashing pain in his chest. He looked down expecting to see himself sliced up and bloody, but he was fine, and Angela wasn’t even holding a blade. 

He looked up at Eddie’s platform just in time for it to happen again. The front of Eddie’s shirt had been sliced open, revealing the wounds underneath. This time Steve saw as well as felt it when whatever power that was cutting him like an invisible knife split his skin open again, sending blood spurting from his chest. 

Confused, Steve looked to Henry and found him focused on Eddie with a hand thrown out in front of him, curled like a claw. The air between them shimmered with power, like heat coming off a raging fire. Steve was working on nothing but gut instinct as he raised his own hand in a mirror of Henry’s and directed every inch of hate he had at the other man. He mimicked Henry’s own motions, copied his use of power and felt a surge of triumph when he saw red blossom across the ancient vampire's chest. 

He hadn’t known he could do that. 

His victory was short lived as a second later he found himself falling to the ground with Angela on top of him. She stared down as she held him in place. He struggled in her hold but as strong as he now was, still she was stronger. He didn’t understand what was happening at first, she wasn’t trying to hurt him, just keep him there. Then her eyes burned with hazel fire. He looked into them defiantly, he was three marks in and very confident that she couldn’t roll him anymore, but that wasn’t what she was trying to do. The two points of light grew larger and moved closer to Steve’s face though Angela herself hadn’t moved.

He suddenly remembered the car, all those months ago when similar lights appeared in the color of Eddie’s eyes and had moved towards him in much the same way. 

No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening.

No matter how hard Steve twisted and bucked and screamed in her face, he couldn’t get away from the blonde menace above him. 

When her second mark hit him, Steve knew he was in deep shit. He felt his connection to Eddie dull, like the volume had been turned down, and he had the desperate urge to check on him. He resisted, because he knew it would be stupid to look away from the threat currently pinning him to the floor. 

Because Angela wasn’t done with him. It sounded silly in retrospect but he’d almost expected her to let him go when the second mark was done. Before he could even react she had swooped down and sunk fangs into the side of his neck. 

Steve had been unconscious when Eddie gave him the third mark, yet somehow he knew that was exactly what Angela was doing to him now. She drank but she didn’t take from him. It was an exchange. As she sipped his blood it was replaced in turn by her power and his body vibrated with it. 

For a second he could feel both vampires in his head equally. If he had thought it was disorienting before, when he only held one other presence in his mind, this was a million times worse. He had no sense of himself, or where he was in relation to the world. For a terrifying moment he couldn’t feel his physical body at all. 

When Steve came back to himself, Eddie was screaming his name. He opened his mouth to reply, to scream back, but suddenly he had a mouthful of bloody fingers. Somewhere in all this Angela had managed to bleed herself and she was force feeding it to him now. 

A few drops and that was all it took. The fourth mark clicked into place and Eddie was lost to him for good. In his place was the twisted mind of a girl who had died young and yet had also lived for far too long. 

Finally she let Steve go, believing that with the fourth mark he was now hers. With them bound together for eternity she was confident that he would fall in line. Steve worked to control his thoughts, his feelings, at the same time he started to rebuild his walls piece by piece.

Angela stood and offered him a hand up. He accepted it and even thanked her. He would have to be nicer to her now that they were tied. He would never grovel and apologize and he could feel that she didn't want him to. She liked that he had his pride, but he would have to prove himself to her somehow. 

Now that Steve was on his feet he could see that Eddie had been brought down from his place on his platform and was being laid out across the stone table in the center of the stage. He was covered in blood and didn’t fight back. He was barely alive, and though Henry and Owens stood over him on either side, they didn't even bother to hold him down.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked Angela, though the answer was obvious.

“You will stake Eddie through the heart of course! To show the world how well Henry can control something that once belonged to him.”

“What?” 

“Henry thinks he can control you through controlling me.”

Steve could feel how angry she was at the idea. She hated that Henry was stronger than her, more powerful. She'd gotten his far, and for what? Still living under the thumb of a man. She didn't want to be his ally and was only with him because she was afraid of him.

It gave Steve an idea that he was careful not to think all the way through. Angela smiled at him brightly, reading his plan in his thoughts, and the two of them walked to the table together. 

“Steve.” Henry greeted him warmly. “Don’t worry, you are already forgiven for your cold feet. It’s understandable. I have to say, it is lovely to see you accepting your new place with us so readily. Come, I have one more task for you.” Henry held out a stake, intricately carved out of hardwood with vines and roses etched all over it, and handed it to Steve.

“You have gotten what you wanted. Angela has freed you from your old master. Now, all that is left to do is finish him off so that we can return the world to the way that it was meant to be.”

Steve gripped the stake tightly in his fist as he moved to the other side of the table, placing himself next to Owens so he could look Eddie in the eye one last time. The vampire’s once beautiful face was badly battered and bruised, but still he smiled when Steve’s face came into view. 

Steve’s own expression was impassive, his mind carefully blank save for one thought. 

He raised the stake high above his head and brought it down hard, angling it at the last second to send it not into Eddie’s chest, but Owens’. 

Steve’s aim was true and the point of the stake sank home. Owens toppled backwards and Steve rode to the floor with him, pushing the wood in further and twisting, not letting up until the only thing coming out of the man's mouth were gurgles of blood. 

He left the stake in place and drew one of the long knives that had been strapped to his back. He rounded on Henry ready for a fight, but he found it wasn’t necessary. 

Henry was staring at Owens, watching as he died on the floor and was clearly struggling, likely using all of his power to try and keep himself from going down with his servant. Steve had used the same tactic with Billy. Killing Heather had made her master easier to take down. But Henry was far more powerful than Billy could have ever dreamed of being. 

Luckily Jane was there using her own magic to hold the ancient vampire in place and dampen his abilities. Angela joined her, using her physical strength to drive Henry to his knees as Steve approached. He thought only of killing Henry as he shoved the blade through the blonde man’s chest. He pulled the knife out only to shove it back in swiftly again at a different angle, to make sure that the heart was completely destroyed. 

“You did it!” Angela squealed. “I knew you could do it! Together we will be unstoppable!”

Steve smiled at her and thought of what he would have to do to make sure Henry stayed dead, removing his head, burning his body and maybe even scattering the ashes. He imagined all of that as he locked eyes with Jane, praying she would understand what he was about to do and help the others when it was done.

He removed the knife from Henry’s chest one more time, but instead of slamming it back in, he kicked the man’s weakened form out of the way and stuck it between Angela's ribs all in one fluid motion. 

He felt searing pain in his own chest as the blade sliced through her heart, but he didn’t let up, he didn’t stop. He stabbed her over and over until he could no longer feel the handle in his hand over the screaming agony in his body. The mental walls he had been trying to rebuild without Angela’s notice were woefully inadequate to shield him from this. 

He remembered his promise to Eddie and tried to keep rebuilding them. Eddie had thought that if Steve shielded hard enough he might survive. But that had been with three marks, not four. Still, he tried. He didn’t want to die, but if that was the price he had to pay to protect those he loved, he would do it gladly. 

Steve opened his eyes, unaware that he’d even closed them and found that he was lying on the ground writhing in paint next to Angela's prone body.

He looked around wildly trying to find Eddie. He had to tell him before he died. He had to tell him so many things. That he was sorry, he was so sorry. Had he ever really apologized? He couldn’t remember, everything was getting fuzzy around him, blurry. 

Something landed hard close to him. Steve tried to turn his head and look, it was a struggle but he managed and was so grateful when he did because it was him. 

It was Eddie. 

He’d rolled himself off the stone table trying to get to Steve and was even now crawling closer. 

“Steve!” Eddie’s voice was weak and it broke on the single word.

Steve wished they could still whisper through each other's minds, so he could tell him…

“... ’m sorry.” Steve choked out. 

He could feel himself fading fast. He was so cold.

“Don’t.” Eddie said, coughing up blood in the process.

“I…” Steve tried to force the words but they wouldn’t come.

He felt a hand on his forehead, and another come to rest on his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to care who it was. Wouldn’t dream of looking away from Eddie at this moment.

It was growing all dark around him but there was a warmth growing in his chest that was soothing and pleasant. He realized that at some point the pain had stopped too. 

He felt like he was floating.  

Steve’s eyes fell closed, he wasn’t strong enough to keep them open any more. 

There was a lot of shouting. He couldn’t understand a word but he hoped everyone else was okay.

The last thing he felt before he passed out was a cool hand sliding into his, fingers entwined.

Chapter 17 (final)

Thanks forever to @penny00dreadful for being the best friend, cheerleader, and beta in the whole fucking world💜

[dreamescapeswriting]

Cabin In The Woods [M] ~ BC [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4K

GENRE: SMUT, non idol au

PAIRING: Chan x Fem!Reader

A/N: I had to name the camp this there was no other wayyyyyy Hope you like it!

Camp crystal lake home to some of the most adventurous kids every summer the camp would be home to 200 kids with 16 camp counsellors all in charge of them and you were there every year, along with one of your best friends Bang Chan who was a counsellor as well as a lifeguard that worked on the lakes. The entire camp was huge despite there only being nine cabins that the kids could stay in. Eight of them would house 25 kids within their age ranges since kids from the ages of 13 to 17 came to the camp you had to keep them all in different groups so that group activities were fair to everyone. While the younger kids stuck to swimming, football and other outdoor activities the older kids got to learn and do more. Archery, boating, horse riding, and many more things were all part of your daily activities around the forest. There were two major lakes in the camp, Wilderice lake and Crystal lake the one that the camp was named after and each was just off from the cabins that went on a long stretch of road. Everything was pretty close together the only cabin that was far away from the rest of the camp was Seneca, which was known as the punishment cabin. Mostly because kids who had done terrible things were sent up there, only allowed out to go to the toilet, or meal times other than that they had to sit there bored while everyone else got to do the fun activities. Not completely unsupervised of course, that would be dangerous. A camp counsellor would always go to check on them to make sure they weren't doing anything they would regret or that they weren't in any danger.

"Y/n!" You turned around hearing your name being screamed from the entrance and smiled as you saw one of your favourite kids rushing over to you. A bag around her shoulder as she sprinted into your arms, you span her around a little. 

"Hey Alice," You laughed as the small 15-year-old girl began telling you how much fun she was going to have over the summer with everyone. 

"I invited my best friend along, Brenda!" A brunette turned around when she heard her name being yelled and jolted over to you and Alice. 

"We wanted to see if you and Chan were dating yet," You laughed loudly upon hearing Alice, Chan and you were known among everyone as the flirting pair but it was nothing more than playful banter. 

"You're too young to think of boys that way," You began messing up Alice's hair when she moved away from you, whining and straightening out her hair. 

"I'm not, I'm 15 and I know you and Chan lovvveeeee each other," You glared at her playfully about to tell her she was wrong when Chan came to stand beside you. 

"Ah the trouble maker," He whined out, pretending to be upset that Alice was standing there. She was by far your favourite kid there, always willing to do whatever it took to have fun and even helping out around the camp when she needed to. 

"We were just saying how-" Alice stopped speaking when her mother came over, kissing her on the cheek as she began to cry about leaving her at the campground as she did every year. Not that you blamed them, it must have been a nightmare leaving your kids somewhere for two weeks and having no means of communication.

"I'm new, you must be Chan. I've heard a lot," Brenda said as she began shaking Chan's hand with a giant smile on her face, blushing as she turned to look at you. 

"Good choice," You pushed her and Alice towards the bus that would take them down into the camp and you ignored as Chan asked what that was about.

"Go, you have your first round of kids at the lake in an hour." You whined as he walked up behind you, tickling your sides as he demanded to know. 

"Tell meeee," He whispered in your ear, it felt as though a bolt of lightening ran through your entire body and you whined at him once again. Slapping his hands away from you and shaking your head, 

"Go to work, I'll tell you later." Later meant you had enough time to come up with some sort of lie instead of telling him that Alice and Brenda thought you had a crush on him. Which you did but he didn't need to know that. Things between you were good and you didn't want to ruin that by admitting that you had a crush on him, playful flirting was easier than losing him. 

"Who have you got this year?" Chan asked as he sat down beside you in the archery field. It was pitch black sine it was around midnight, the two of you had been so busy with the first day of camp you'd barely seen one another besides a brief encounter at the lake.

"Ages 13 to 14, what about you?" You questioned as you looked up from the folder you were studying from, every year you liked to try and get to know each of the kids you would be looking after for those two weeks. Getting to know their names, likes and dislikes as well as what they were allergic to and everything else you would need to know. 

"16 to 17," He said with a giant smirk plastered across his face, the camp counsellors that were blessed with the older kids barely had to do a thing around the camp. Take them on the odd walk around the forest or make sure they weren't trying to kill ne another with equipment but that was it. They were practically adults and could look after themselves, of course the counsellors would be around if they needed them. 

"You're going to get stuck with the younger ones one summer, even if I have you force you to myself," You joked as you jabbed him with the end of your pen, leaving a small black mark on his white crystal lake shirt.

"Already in uniform?" You frowned looking down at him as you realised he was wearing the red shorts and white shirt combo that was giving to you every year. 

"I thought I would be the first one...That and I accidentally spilt a drink down my only good pair of jeans." He mumbled as he looked at you, you began laughing softly before laying your head on his shoulder tiredly. 

"It's going to be a great summer," He whispered to you as he nudged your softly, 

"Fire night, bring your scary stories and marshmallows!" Someone screamed making you move apart from Chan and nod your head. 

"I've got the perfect scary story," You smirked. Fire night was the night camp counsellors got together to try and tell the best story as well as sharing food something you did every year when the kids all went to bed on the first night. It was somewhat of a tradition amoungst everyone for old and new counsellors to get to know one another. 

"You probably stole mine from last year," Chan rolled his eyes at you jokingly and you rolled yours back, 

"Oh yes because yours about the child who had diabetes was so scary Christopher, I'm still shaking." You pushed his shoulder and got up from the seat you were sitting on, watching as people began filing over in the direction of the fire grounds. It was a huge campfire with logs around it so that everyone could be warm.

It turned out that your story had nothing on what Chan was telling that year, your story was about a girl who got lost in the woods but Chan's was far more creative. 

"Jason was never seen again after he entered the lake and every year when the counsellors came to the camp to set up they were all murdered!" He clapped his hands together making you jump as he continued to tell the story of a masked serial killer killing off counsellors one by one using different ways that were all nearly impossible yet creative. 

"Then just when the counsellor thought she was safe in the water Jason swam up and dragged her down to the bottom of the lake!" Chan finally finished and you did your best not to act as scared as you were about it. It wasn't as though the story was completely impossible, the thought of someone randomly walking onto the camp was easy and they could just as easily kill everyone if they wanted to. 

"You okay?" Chan questioned when he sat back down beside you on the log, giving you a hot chocolate as you stared into the flames. 

"Y-Yeah, peachy," Your voice cracked and Chan knew that you weren't okay, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. 

"I'll keep you safe," He whispered as you snuggled closer to him just enjoying the feeling of being that close to him.

"I'm heading up to my cabin, walk me?" You questioned as you noticed how late it was getting, you weren't scared of the woods but walking around in the dark wasn't something you opted to do alone most nights especially after the story that had just been shared by Chan.

"Sure," He chuckled softly as he began walking down the field with you heading in the direction of your cabins, all 25 kids seemed to be sleeping so your night was going to be easy. 

"Are you scared?" Chan nudged as you clutched onto his hand tightly as you stood outside the cabin debating going in or staying with him a little while longer. The sparks you were getting from his hand begged you to stay and feel them longer but you knew you had a long day tomorrow and couldn't. 

"N-No," You lied obviously as he smirked at you, hugging you tightly. 

"I'll be right next door, if Jason comes for you I'll save you," You pushed him away before going over to the door and opening it up.

"Night," You whispered to him before heading into the room, Chan stayed outside for a moment just waiting for you to come back out but you never did. He hoped you would come back out and beg to stay with him for the night because you were so scared but you never did.

"Night," He whispered to himself before walking in the direction of his cabin for the night which was right next door to yours. 

The next day was ruined by the thunderstorm that seemingly appeared out of no where. No outdoor actitivties could be done since it was unsafe for everyone to be in the water and no one wanted to get sick out in the cold. 

"Does anyone know where all the board games are?" You questioned as you sat in the dinning hall, 200 kids all staring up at you with unimpressed looks on their faces. You didn't blame them, this was supposed to be one of the best summers of their lives and yet here they were spending it trapped inside where it was raining so hard you thought it was night time.

"Punishment Cabin, we kept them up there last year for Tommy and Ned since they were in there so much." One of the counsellors mentioned as she looked at you, none of you could figure out how to get the kids to calm down so if this was the only way then so be it. Board games and indoor games it would be. 

"Christopher. We're going for a walk," You ordered as you grabbed him by the back of his jacket, pulling him towards the door as you stared out at the rain. It was coming down so hard that it looked as though it was a tap gushing out water, 

"Why? Why can't you go alone? I'm so dry in here," He whined looking at you but all you did was give him your large puppy dog eyes and he melted, giving into you right away and grabbing his umbrella. 

"Let's go." He grumbled as he began heading out into the rain, the two of you sprinting off in the direction of the cabin which was secluded from everything else around the camp. 

"Punishment Cabin," You mumbled as you looked up at the cabin, the roof was leaking a little and the door was wide open thanks to the wind. 

"Let's get the games and leave," You told him as you headed inside finding everything practically ruined that had been on the floor. It was all soaked in water and the roof was leaking inside and on the beds dripping onto the mattresses. 

"Oh shit," He whispered as he looked around noticing everything, a clap of thunder sounded and you jumped back knocking into him as the door slammed shut behind you both jamming in place. 

"What the fuck?" You asked as you twisted the handle trying to open it but it was locked in place, not even budging a little no matter how hard you tried to pull on it. 

"Here, let the man do it." You scoffed stepping away from the door and watching in amusement as Chan continued trying to do the same thing you had been but with little success, 

"Let the man do it," You mocked playfully before sitting down on one of the dry chest of drawers. 

"You're just going to sit there?" You shrugged your shoulders since there wasn't much else you could do, the windows were bolted shut from the outside and it wasn't as if you could just smash them open. 

"Look, they know we're up here. They'll come looking when we don't come straight down." You reassured him as you shivered a little, it wasn't exactly the warmest in the punishment cabin but you would only be there for an hour at the most. 

An hour turned into three and you were sitting in front of the fireplace together trying to stay warm. No one had bothered to come to look for you but not because they didn't want to but that they had planned for this. As soon as the counsellors saw that it was going to rain all day they set their plan into action deciding to take matters into their own hands. They were going to arrange for you both to go up to the cabin and have someone follow behind you, locking you inside and only letting you out when they knew that you had finally confessed your feelings for one another. It was juvenile but they didn't care, every year it was the same. Endless flirting together, the costant hints that you btoh had a crush on one another and they were finally going to make sure you ended up together in ways that were more than just friends. 

"I'm cold," You shivered as Chan started up the fire place that was in the cabin, he'd found old scraps of paper and some matches in the drawers you'd been sitting on and started it up. The thought of you getting sick made him feel bad as he looked over at you,

"Here," He whispered as he began laying down dry blankets and pillows in front of the fire. 

"We'll warm up together," He promised as you sat down on the floor beside him, his arm wrapped around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. Maybe it was the cold or the fact that you were snuggled together in such a romantic setting but you couldn't help but stare up at him in awe. 

"Thanks," You stuttered out as he kept you close to him, your body felt as though it was going to surrender to him. Sitting so close, hearing his heartbeating and the way his fingers traced small patterns on your skin was doing all sorts of things to you. A wetness dripped betwee your tighs as you squeezed them together trying to ignore the sensation and focus on getting warm but it was hard with him right there. 

"You know what might warm us up faster," You finally broke the silence as you glanced up at him, the two of you had been sitting in front of the fireplace for ten minutes. 

"What?" His voice was smooth as he looked down at you, eyes seeming to sparkle in the light of the fire, one thing came over you and you kissed him. Smashing your lips against him and rolling him back against the floor. At first he didn't do anything, he held onto you until he realised what was happening and gave into the feeling of having your lips on his own. 

"F-Fuck," He stuttered out as you pulled away to look at him, his lips were pink from the kissing and you could feel your body heating up from the embarrassment of randomly kissing your best friend. 

"I-I'm sorry...I don't know...I just wanted...I've wanted to do that for so long," As soon as the words left your mouth Chan kissed you once again pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed you softly. 

Your hips began to move out of habit and you felt him harder beneath you which meant he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

"N-No one is around," You whispered breathlessly as you began to kiss down his jawline and down his neck. Whimpering at the thought of finally lettin him take you the way you had always dreamed, 

"We would warm up faster," He smirked as he ran his hands down your hips pushing at the red short shorts you were wearing. Your whole body tensed as you realised it was finally, really going to happen. 

"Do you want to?" You nodded at his question and he kissed you again, making out with yo as you both slowly removed one another's clothes piece by piece. 

Laying down completely naked in front of him should have made you nervous but with Chan you weren't at all, he looked at you as if he admired every inch of your skin. Taking a good look as he licked his lips, kissing your lips softly, 

"You're so beautiful," He whispered as he ran his fingers down your stomach until he was at your clit, slowly rubbing your wet bud in circles as you let out a whimper. 

"So wet, how long have you wanted me?" He smirked as he pushed a finger through your folds, your toes dg into the floor as you mewled out, 

"Tell me," He whispered again as he pushed two of his long fingers into you, curling them up to hit your g-spot again and again making your head spin. 

"A while!" You stuttered out as you began squirming underneath him as you moaned out his name. 

"Me too,2 He whispered as he began kissing you deeply, thrusting his fingers deep into your soaking core. Wet noises filled the cabin as Cha continued to take you with his fingers. 

"C-Chan," You breathed out as you gripped onto the blankets that were surrounding you, you felt intensity building up inside of you.

"I-I'm gonna-" You couldn't cum before he took his fingers out of your abruptyly and smirked as he began kissing you possessively, your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him close to you. 

"So needy," He chuckled as you let out a hiss when his cock ran through your folds, 

"Shut up and fuck me, we've waited too long." You begged as your breath as heavy, he smirked shaking his head and kissing down your body. 

"I want to taste first," He whispered as he kissed towards your core, he lingered above your cunt and looked up at you to check that it was okay. Once you gave him a nod he dove his tongue between your lips and began flicking your cunt with his tongue. 

"Oh shit!" You screamed out as your hands worked their wayy into his hair, pulling him closer as he continued to eat you out, biting down softly on the part of your outer labia making your eyes roll back. 

"J-Just like that," You cried out as you felt your orgasm building again, he hummed against your cunt and you shuddered over and over again as he continued to eat you out like you were his last meal. 

"C-Cumming," Your voice cracked as the pleasure exploded in you without warning, your head threw back against the pillows and you filled the cabin with your desperate moans of his name. 

He kissed you sweetly as he lined his cock up with your opening, teasing you with the tip as he smirked against your lips. 

"No teasing," You whined out, too desperate for any games that he was planning in his head. 

"As you wish," He pushed his hips forward slowly, sinking into you. You moaned out squeezing your eyes tightly at the stretching, he stayed still for a moment wanting you to feel comfortable before he even tried to move inside of you, 

“Y-You can move," You whimpered as you opened your eyes, his cock felt incredible inside of you, you felt full as you gripped around him as if he had always belonged there. 

"Shit you're so tight," He whined out as he grunted, slowly pulling out of you only to thrust back in as he let out a small moan. 

"Mmm Chan, please," You begged, digging your heels into his ass wanting him to move faster than he was and he smirked, 

"Chan please," He mocked playfully before he began to move his ips faster, fucking into you as you let out moans of pleasure he was sure people would have heard even from the dinning hall. 

"Just like that!" You screamed out as he began thrusting harder into you making you squeal out as he rammed in and out of you. Cock hitting so deep you thought if he came it would be deep in your gut. 

He continued to fuck into you hard, changing between slow and passionate thrusts to hard and fast ones as he stared down into your eyes. 

"Holy shit," You cried out as you felt yourself tighrening around him, the build up becoming too much as you began to cry out his name, pleasure reeling inside of you. 

"You close?" He questioned as he felt you tightening more and more with each thrust of his cock. 

"Cum for me," He whispered as he bent down into your ear, biting down as you wrapped your legs around his waist drawing him closer if that were even possible until you finally came undone around him. Grunting out he pulled out of you, cumming onto your stomach as you giggled up at him. 

"Shit," He panted watching in awe as you ran your fingers through the liquid and licked your fingers clean. 

"Y-You're going to be the death of me," He panted ashe laid down beside you and took a deep breath.

"We should move babe," He whispered an hour or two later after you had been laying there, the sun was out and someone was bound to come looking for you now that you had been gone for so long. 

"Here-" He handed you the shirt he had been wearing and then your shorts before he slipped on his coat since he had used your top to clean up your stomach. 

"Babe?" You looked at him with a smirk on your lips,

"You don't think I'm going to just have sex with you and leave it be, do you? I'm in love with you." He whispered as he kissed your lips again, the door opening just as you kissed each other. 

"They finally kissed," Someone announced out of the door, if only they knew the two of you had done a lot more than kissing in that cabin that day.

Tagline: @taestannie @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs @anxiousbobatea @justbangtanthingz​

[oh-boy-me]

I found your speculation of Satan having a crush on mc from the get go verry interesting. I was wondering if you have any speculations around the other boys? Like in what order do you think the boys fell for mc? Any specific points in the story that you think are the "fall for mc" moments for them?

(HFSDHFSD LISTEN I’ve had this in my drafts for AGES and I’m so sorry I’m just now getting to actually posting it ;w; )

I’m MORE than happy to speculate on this!  For the brothers, at least, because I haven’t read up to the parts where the other characters show notable interest in you

Putting most of this under a cut for long post and spoilers, but the tl;dr (with some mysterious elements to catch your interest heheheh) is that I believe the brothers “fall for MC” in this order:

1. Satan 2. Mammon 3. (Lucifer) 4. (Levi) 3. Belphie 4. Beel 4. Levi 4. Lucifer 7. Asmo

That must look a little weird; I hope I’ve piqued your interest!

Now, what am I defining as falling for MC?  For consistency, we’re going to consider a brother falling for MC being the moment when they themself realize that they might have feelings for them.

#1 Demon: Satan Moment: As early as day 4

First up is Satan, who I’ve already explained here.  An argument can be made that Mammon catches feelings first, but assuming a real-time progression, Satan’s first text reaches MC on their fourth day in the Devildom.

#2 Demon: Mammon Moment: Lesson 4-1

Mammon is interesting, because with this analysis he’s one of only two brothers for which you can actually get a calendar date for their falling for MC.  You can do this because the first few lessons cover a very short span of time.

According to the fact that Lucifer says you don’t want to be late on your first day of school after giving you a hint about Goldie, MC makes a pact with Mammon on their second day in the Devildom. (You don’t go to school on day 1.)

Lucifer blocks MC from the attic on the night of day 3, and after that things get shaky again until you hit the TSL movie night with Beel and Mammon.

The reason the movie night is interesting is because Beel specifically states that midterms are coming up soon.  Based on the game’s Japanese origin, we’re going to assume that RAD also follows the same three-term system that Japanese schools do.  This places the TSL marathon at about a month into MC’s stay.

Anyway, we’re basing Mammon’s interest in you on pretty obvious factors:

We basically don’t see any of Mammon’s trademark tsundere nature until after these lessons.  Before this it’s not him being tsundere, he’s genuinely annoyed with you.

He left a toothbrush and charger in your room sometime between Lesson 3-10 and 4-4.

This famous line: 

He probably developed feelings sometime during the TSL marathon, but I think it was when you were in danger, and even though he kept saying he’d let you die his first instinct was to save you, that he understood what those feelings were.

#3.  Demon: (Lucifer) Moment: Lesson 12-19

Crossed out and in parentheses Lucifer is the first one where we start to go off of assumptions and headcanon rather than concrete in game evidence, but.  I’m sure your bigger question is “why is he crossed out AND in parentheses AND why does he show up again later.”

The moment I listed is the lesson where you and Lucifer have to fall in love to escape the “horror game” that Levi “trapped” you in.  He spends most of the time seeming like he isn’t interested and doing it out of necessity, but then he turns around and says these lines.

Assuming that was almost a confession, I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided right there, in that moment, that he was developing feelings.  Lucifer is very self aware, and very sure of himself, and it’s also not like him to suddenly change his mind about how he’s treating things.  If he was hiding his feelings the whole time, I don’t think he would have almost slipped at all.

Of course, right after this, you announce that you’ve met Belphegor, and his developing feelings are overshadowed by rage.

And of course, Lesson 12-19 never happened.

What?

Let me remind you of the timeline.  Barbatos explains in Lesson 16-19 that he has the power to choose any timeline as the sole reality, and he chose the timeline you traveled to.

When you jump back in time, you end up in the moment right after making a pact with Satan (Lesson 12-10).  This means that everything that happened between Lessons 12-10 and 15-17 was erased from history.

The timeline in Season One looks a little something like this, to simplify.

Admittedly, we don’t know how far into their conversation MC and Lucifer make it in the second timeline, but on Lucifer’s part I don’t think it changes much.

This timeline stuff is important because

#4 Demon: (Leviathan) Moment: Lesson 14-4

Ok, first, I have to say that I really hate the way MC and Levi make up in Lesson 14.  imo it has the potential to be really manipulative on both sides.  But that’s not the point of this post.

Levi does NOT have a crush on you before Belphie shows up out of nowhere.  In Lesson 14-4, he’s talking to himself, and distinctly complains about losing a friend, and how Henry is his only friend.

He’s also refusing to acknowledge your existence, and he’s talking to a fish, so there’s no reason for him to hide how he really feels in the moment.

Then, later on in the same chapter, this is Levi’s response to seeing MC hug Lucifer.

I’m assuming MC isn’t the one he’s jealous of.  But what’s interesting here is that, as far as I can remember, this is the first time Levi ever expresses jealousy about you in any sense, platonic or romantic.  You don’t really interact with Levi one on one between Lesson 14-4 and this moment, so 14-4 is the most likely catalyst for this change.

Levi does say “you’re my true friend” at the end of 14-4, but you are not a fish, and that doesn’t change the fact that he could have been like “oh wow MC didn’t abandon me they really like me oh no I really like them”

Also, by 16-A he canonically likes you.

But just like with the last one, this exchange never happened and Levi never fell for you.

#3 Demon: Belphie Moment: Between Lessons 18-15 and 18-19

Now Belphie is interesting, because I would argue that he was trying to fall in love with you for a while.  All that “making up for lost time” and seeming to spend every waking hour with you in lessons 17 and 18 to me point pretty heavily to the idea that he wants to feel the same way about you that his brothers do.  Whether it’s to feel more connected with them or from a genuine interest in you is unclear though.

But then he decides to give you a pact as a present, which is a pretty big deal.  Most pacts in the game are made before the demon has feelings for you, but aside from Belphie, Satan is the only one who brings it up himself.  And since like I said Satan pretty clearly liked you before making a pact, the same can probably be said of Belphie.

I should also mention that Belphie muses over giving you a pact in Lesson 18-A, which takes place before Lesson 17-7 at the latest.  But we have to remember that this is before you’ve helped him mend his relationships with his brothers, and therefore he barely knows you.  Satan also barely knew you, but Belphie has the added problem of mixing up you and Lilith.  You can make arguments for the others when they were uber nice to you in Lesson 16-19, but for Belphie there’s really no other possible reason than Lilith.

However, Lesson 18-15 is the one where Belphie says he’s going to move forward with his life and stop putting things on hold for Lilith.

So, chances are his attachment to you is pretty unhealthy at first, but I’m choosing the timeframe I did as the moment because in 18-19 he explicitly states that he isn’t confusing you with Lilith.

This would be the moment of confirmation that he likes you, not the idea of what you might represent.

#4 Demon: Leviathan, Beelzebub, Lucifer Moment: Sometime during the time skip

I don’t think we see these three fall for you on camera.  The time skip covers literal months, and I think they fall for you in somewhere in that long period of time.

I don’t think I need to tell you that Levi and Beel like you by the time Lesson 20 comes along, since they both confess to you.

Lucifer doesn’t explicitly confess, but if you choose to hug him, he says this

Which heavily implies that he wants to be the one most important to you.  Also, I don’t think he’d have made a pact at all otherwise.

#7 Demon: Asmodeus Moment: Lesson 19-17

For Asmo, I think we see the EXACT moment he realizes he’s in love with you.

First off, in Lesson 16-A he noticeably isn’t openly interested in you in any way other than superficially.  Granted, 16-A never happened, but it does confirm that he didn’t like you before then.

Then, in his part of Lesson 19, you go drinking with him.  Early in the night, he says this.

His answer to your prompt of romance suggests that he doesn’t understand the fact that he does like you like that, or at least that he’s in denial.

However, then you beat him at a drinking game, and the reality of you leaving him behind comes crashing down on him.

The drastic change makes me think that this is the very moment he understands his feelings.

--

And that’s it!  I hope this was an interesting read, and sorry again it took SO long.

[helliontherapscallion]

Sweet and Sour (Adrenaline Junkie Part 14)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 13     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: swearing, descriptions of blood, talks of hypothetically dying, bones/teeth 

Word Count: 2,392

(A/N): the next part is currently in the works and probably will be out by tomorrow/late at night tonight 

The days ticked closer and closer until you had only mere hours left until your scheduled departure for the cave. With each passing day, you became more anxious and paranoid, your prosthetic wing constantly malfunctioning until you programmed it to respond solely to your conscious movement and not the random twitching of your muscles. It took you a bit to get used to, but you quickly got the hang of it. It felt closer to having an actual wing on your back again, but not exactly. Nothing beat the feeling of the wind resisting against both wings at the same time. 

You doubted if Philza knew anything, but you did know that he suspected something. He knew you like the back of his hand and vice versa. You both knew each other all too well, he raised you and you spent most of your time with him growing up after all. 

Currently, you are obsessively reading over your will and the book you wrote for Arthur full of redstoning advice and what you’ve learned over the years. After rereading your letters to your family and your will, you decided that this is exactly how you wanted everything to turn out if you ended up not surviving this. Which, the chances of you actually surviving this was slim to none. 

However, you remained hopeful as there were several unknown variables in the equation. How big this thing was, its age, and most importantly what the cave currently looked like. It’s been multiple years and there might’ve been more erosion over the years altering the surface of the stone. From what you remembered, the ceilings were at least a hundred feet tall, so you had plenty of room to hover above it when needed. You had no clue if the ledge was still there, but if it was the being most definitely could snatch you up. You were going to have to be careful. Besides, you had a son you had to live for. You were going to get out of there alive. For Arthur. For Philza. For Wilbur. For Tommy. For Technoblade.

You reread your plans. Plan A consisted of you sneaking in (making sure this time to keep your wings close to your body), planting TNT, and setting it off with a lever as far away from the deepest part of the cave as you could. Plan B, if Plan A failed and the Warden noticed your presence, was to use the portable TNT launcher while flying as high as you could. If that failed, then you were kind of screwed. Plan C consisted of dropping everything and running for your life. You’d admit, they weren’t the most well thought out plans, but it was all you could think of.

You made sure your wing was secured on your back correctly with a full movement test before you slung your bag onto your back stocked full of redstone and TNT and put your portable TNT launcher into the holster on your hip. 

You took a deep breath and gathered your papers before you took one last look at your old workshop. You made sure to scrub it clean of redstone residue and re-sorted the blueprints so that everything was easier to find in the filing cabinets. You were sure that your… unique method of not sorting anything and just knowing where everything was would be very annoying to attempt to sort through. Even Arthur couldn’t figure out your sorting system and he was the smartest kid you knew. 

Oh Arthur… He was probably sleeping right now. Or at least you hoped he would be; it was midnight. With light footing, you walked up the stairs to the second floor and straight to Wilbur’s old room. Your little boy was sleeping peacefully burrowed underneath the covers. You could hear his soft snores exiting his mouth. 

You smiled lightly and walked over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling back the covers to see his face. His mouth was parted slightly with a small amount of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth. You reached out to stroke his curly copper hair and smiled wider at the sight of his nose scrunching slightly before he relaxed with a small smile on his face. You leaned down to place a lingering kiss on his forehead before you covered him back up again and started to quietly walk out of the room. 

“Ren?” That was what he started calling you after he gave you the magnets. It was short for ‘parent’. You froze and felt your body warm up at his sleepy tone. You turned around and watched as he rubbed at his eye with the back of his hand and yawned. “Hey Artie, go back to sleep buddy.” You walked over to him and gently pushed him back into the pillows. He nodded and grabbed your sleeve. 

“Can you get me a glass of water please?” He sounded so out of it. “Of course, buddy.” You grabbed your bag and slung it back over your shoulder. You quietly went downstairs and filled up a glass with water. You sat it on the counter and pulled out your papers and the hefty book you had written from your bag. You spread them all out on the dining room table where Philza was sure to see it in the morning. You hopefully should be back before the time he usually woke up so you could just grab them and trash them when you get back.

Before you got back to Arthur’s room, you shed your bag and TNT launcher by the front door. You didn’t know if he saw them before, but he definitely didn’t need to see them now. Inside, Arthur was propped up on his chin desperately fighting against sleep. You walked over to him and gave him his water, scolding him lightly when he didn’t fully sit up so he wouldn’t choke. When he was satisfied, he put the water on the nightstand and laid back down. He looked up at you with sleep dazed eyes, “where are you going?”

You froze and sat on his bed, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.” He scrunched up his nose and stared at you in annoyance, “no you aren’t, you’re going somewhere.”

You stared at him before you sighed, “I’m just going… to get more redstone. I just need a bit more to finish what I’m working on. I won’t be gone for long, I promise.”

“Can- can you stay here? At least until I fall back asleep?”

“Of course, my little fledgling.”

He looked up at you timidly, “will you always be with me?”

You rubbed your hand up and down his arm soothingly, “I’ll never leave you. Even if I’m away, you’ll always have a piece of me with you,” you grabbed your feather he kept on his nightstand and handed it to him. It was one of your primary feathers you lost in one of your last molts in the house before you left for L’manberg that you found between your bed and your wall. It was an impressive size being about a foot long, but your wings have long since grown bigger alongside your body’s growth. You were about to throw it away one day after doing a deep clean of your old room, but the boy was amazed by the patterns and the size of the feather. So you, being the caring parent you were, gave it to him. Since then, you’ve found him on several instances holding the feather to his chest in his sleep. 

He took the feather and ran his fingers along the vane and stem. You could see him tearing up slightly, so you leaned down and pulled him into a tight hug. “I’ll always be with you, my little fledgling.” You pulled back after placing a kiss on his forehead and ran your fingers through his curly mop of hair soothingly. You softly sang the song Philza would hum to you as a kid and watched as he drifted off to sleep. 

“Love you Ren,” he slurred out before he was completely out. You softly smiled at his sleeping form, “I love you too, Artie. I love you too.” You sat there for a bit absorbing his every facial feature and felt pride and warmth erupt within you. Arthur Fox was your son, your pride and joy. He certainly had a bright future ahead of him. Sighing, you remembered the task ahead of you. You needed to leave soon. 

Reluctantly, you left the room and started to make your way downstairs. “Did he have a nightmare?” A sleepy quiet voice asked from behind you. You jumped and whipped around with your hand flying to the empty holster on your hip before you relaxed seeing Philza there. He looked like he just crawled out of bed, his blond hair stuck up in multiple places and his blue eyes hazy. 

You put a hand over your heart, “Ender Dad don’t do that, you scared the shit outta me. But yeah, he had a nightmare but he’s fine now.” He tiredly hummed, walking over to you and pulling you into an unexpected hug. “You’re a good parent for him. I’m so proud of you for adapting to the responsibility that adopting a kid takes.” You hugged him back tightly and wrapped your wings around him, careful of keeping the metal one barely pressed against him. You both stood there in the middle of the hallway enjoying each other’s presence before you heard him yawn and felt him pull back. You retracted your wings and stepped back. 

“Why’re you still dressed?” 

Shit, “oh, I was just finishing up something in my workshop.”

He deadpanned at you, “you know how I feel about you staying up this late, even if you’re an adult-”

“‘Even if I’m an adult it’s not healthy to constantly stay up this late’ I know, Dad. I’m almost done, I’ll be in bed in like half an hour tops.” He stared at you for a bit before he nodded and started to walk back to his room, “alright, I trust you. I’m going back to bed and I want you to do the same in a bit. Goodnight, (y/n). Love ya.”

“Love you too, Dad.” You waited until you heard the bed creak before you went back downstairs. You grabbed your stuff before you quietly opened the door and checked to see if there were any mobs around. Luckily for you, the nearest mob was only a single 

enderman. With that, you spread your wings and took off into the clear night sky. The weather was perfect for flying. It would’ve been a pleasant night flight if it weren’t for the current circumstances gnawing and nagging at you in the forefront of your mind.

You lowered yourself to the ground upon getting closer to the cave’s entrance and glided into it landing a ways into the cave to avoid any mobs. The ores around you were plentiful, the occasional glimmering of redstone cutting through the darkness. Old burnt out torches hung from the walls was the only indicator that there were previously other people in the cave prior to now. You could only imagine how Arthur looked at the ores with amazement and curiosity. 

As you ventured deeper, you could feel anxiety gripping at your chest and remembered how innocently and naively you craved exploration two and a half years ago. You shuddered as you wondered if the beast still had your feathers and bones scattered about. The torch in your hands sent flickering light onto the dark cave walls casting all sorts of shadows. You pushed onwards through the inky depths of the cave. Deeper yet deeper you walked placing torches wherever you went. 

Eventually, you arrived at the wide opening of the cave. From where you stood, the opening of the cave was massive making you feel miniscule. Even if you were to fully expand your wings to the side, your seven and a half foot wingspan still wouldn’t come close to touching the sides of the opening. The torch in your hand hardly cut through the abyss of the cave, so you made quick work of placing them around the area so you had a clear view of your surroundings. 

The cave was as you remembered it, but if you looked close enough, there were plenty of stalactites and stalagmites that weren’t there before. You could see faint dark brown stains on the walls and floors in scattered places, the stains of the miners that did not come back. The stench of rot, mildew, and decay emanated from deep parts of the cave, becoming almost unbearable in certain points where you couldn’t find anything out of place. Occasionally, you found cracked and broken shards of bone around some of the bloodstains. You even found a tooth and clumps of auburn hair. You shuddered as you remembered how Arthur told you that Hugh had dark ginger hair.

You have only found one of your feathers so far. It was trapped between a fissure in the wall. Crusted old blood decorated and clumped together some parts of the vane. You moved on to examine different parts of the cave. Sculk blocks littered the floor randomly, the tentacles calmly moving about. Soft squelching noises sounded from them; if you held your torch close to one of them, a soft shine could be seen. It was probably slimey. 

If you stopped to listen past the crackling of the fire, you couldn’t hear anything. Besides a slight squelching noise that you suspected was from the sculk blocks and the sound of water droplets dripping, there was nothing. Good, you still could place the TNT. Plan A: commence. 

You made quick work of placing sticks of dynamite between the nooks and crannies of rocks firmly and scattered the TNT along the vast expanse of the cave. Connecting the redstone was tricky though with the amount of TNT placed, but you eventually got everything connected to one and made work of making a trail to the outside. Just as you got started on trailing the redstone towards the mouth of the cave a few hundred feet away, the torches started to flicker. 

It’s here.

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[melanielocke]

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 15

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite

Previous Chapter: Chapter 14

Next Chapter: Chapter 16

Will covered his face with his hand. ‘I do not understand why after yesterday you’d want to return to the woods,’ he said. ‘Well, I understand the recklessness of some of you, but I was expecting a little more sense from Alastair.’

Lucie had to agree that if any of them had the common sense not to run towards danger, it was Alastair.

‘If we do nothing, we stand little chance of saving Thomas,’ Alastair said, his voice betraying no emotion but he did seem a bit stiff.

‘Excellent point. I’ve heard I am to congratulate you, by the way, Alastair. And Thomas too, of course. Here I was hoping that after James and Cordelia broke up, I’d have another chance for a Carstairs in the family with you and Lucie.’

Lucie wished she could disappear. She deeply regretted telling her father about her crush on Alastair, almost two years ago. Nowadays, she realized she’d probably just looked up to him, she had been grateful for the way he’d defended her. She had liked him better than most boys in school, and had mistaken that for a crush. However, when it came to boys in school, the bar was on the floor.

Alastair, for his part, looked horrified. ‘That will never happen. I’m gay.’

‘So am I!’ declared Lucie. She figured this was as good a time as any to bring it up, and she’d been meaning to tell everyone anyway.

Everyone stared at her. Alastair looked amused. ‘Well, that is one way to come out. Congratulations, Lucie.’

Her father looked surprised. ‘Really? You always told me about boys you liked.’

Lucie shrugged. ‘Yeah, that’s weird,’ she said. ‘I think at some point I started looking at girls and realized what I felt for boys didn’t really compare.’

Lucie wasn’t sure that made sense, but on the internet she’d discovered plenty of lesbians had had crushes on boys before realizing. Feelings were confusing for sure, and the longer Lucie thought about it, the more she began to understand those oblivious book characters who were obviously in love but had no clue.

‘I didn’t realize,’ Will said. ‘But I’m glad you told me. Can’t wait until you tell us about any girls you like.’

Considering her father’s fondness for the Carstairs family and how determined he was to bring one into the family, Lucie wasn’t sure telling him how she felt about Cordelia was a good idea. She didn’t doubt her father would think it a good idea to help, which would end in disaster.

Lucie felt that was enough said about the topic for now. ‘Back to our plan,’ she continued. ‘We need to find the selkie skin, which according to our source is located in the woods, in the land in between. The same place Alastair and Thomas ended up finding yesterday. There was a trap door they couldn’t open, but cortana could cut through the lock, so that’s our way in.’

Lucie didn’t mention the minor risk of getting trapped all the way in the realm of the thief of souls. Nor were they completely sure the trap door hid the selkie skin, but it had to hide something interesting, right?

‘Hold on, whose selkie skin, and why?’ Will asked.

Cordelia summarized last night’s visit. ‘Grace needs that skin, or she will be forced to use her power on us. Even if our plan has its risks, the risk of doing nothing is falling under the spell of a siren.’

‘I thought you said she was a selkie,’ Will said.

‘Something in between, I think,’ Cordelia said. ‘She is a selkie, but she has the voice of a siren. Something about myths being muddled. I don’t know, I can’t say I have much experience with the lovely ladies of the sea. That’s what she called herself, by the way.’

Lucie had to admit Grace was indeed quite lovely.

Will sighed. ‘I guess you’re right that someone has to go. I’d do it myself, but there must be a reason she asked for Cordelia specifically and I don’t have any weapons. But I do want you to be back by dinner. Now hurry before Tessa, Gideon or Sophie learns of your plans.’ A playful smile appeared on her father’s lips. ‘And if anyone asks, this conversation never happened.’

Lucie quickly put on some walking shoes, heart beating fast until the four of them were out of sight and she was sure her mother couldn’t stop them anymore. Her father might be lenient when it came to recklessness, but her mother was not.

‘If anyone gets mad at us, I’m definitely blaming your father,’ Alastair announced.

‘That’s not fair,’ Lucie protested. ‘He covered for us.’

‘Let’s just focus on our mission,’ Thomas offered. ‘Yesterday, we took this path and it took us to the ruins.’

She followed Thomas and Alastair, who remembered how they’d come upon the ruins yesterday. It was a nice route, Lucie had to admit that, with a small pond on the side. In the end, after a long walk by Lucie’s standards, they exited the woods back where Lucie had entered to follow Tatiana, at the side of the village.

Lucie frowned. ‘Are you sure that was the right route?’ she asked. ‘I didn’t see any ruins.’

‘Perhaps the entrance is somewhere different today,’ Thomas suggested. ‘Maybe we should go back and try another path.’

After trying several paths and walking for hours, Lucie was getting tired. She wasn’t used to taking walks this long like Thomas and Alastair were and she was pretty sure she had blisters on both feet. Determined not to complain, she trailed behind the two boys, who kept exchanging longing stares. They really were adorable together. Thomas at some point took Alastair’s hand in his, which caused Alastair to stop in his tracks. Lucie nearly bumped into him.

‘Why isn’t this working?’ Cordelia asked.

‘Well, yesterday was the first time we found the ruins,’ Thomas said. ‘Before that, the forest was normal. Apart from some gnomes, things like that. Nothing unusual, at least. Perhaps today, the gateway isn’t there. Or perhaps there’s another trick to reaching it.’

‘Is there anything we did different yesterday?’ Alastair wondered.

‘We didn’t intend to find the land in between,’ Thomas said. ‘What if we cannot find it now that we’re actively looking?’

‘Then how would Tatiana find it?’ Alastair asked. ‘If that’s where she hid Grace’ skin, she can’t have stumbled on the ruins by accident like we did.’

‘Could be part of the deal she made, her learning how to come there,’ Lucie said. ‘Is there anything else you did differently?’

‘We were there earlier,’ Alastair added. ‘Thomas decided to sleep in today, whereas yesterday he and I went into the woods early in the morning.’

‘I think I was on my way there when I followed Tatiana,’ Lucie added. ‘When I returned, Cordelia said I was gone for an hour when it didn’t feel that way, just like you were gone for a whole day.’

‘I’m not sure stalking Tatiana until we can follow her there is such a good idea,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps we should try it again tomorrow morning.’

They tried again the next morning, and then in the evening for a short walk, but no result. She had patched up her feet with blister band aids from her mother’s first aid kit and kept going, even if her feet were still hurting and it was getting worse. It wasn’t the time, it turned out, and Lucie started to get frustrated. Grace hadn’t come back, and how were they supposed to get her skin if they couldn’t get back into the land in between?

The third morning, after another fruitless attempt to find the land in between, her mother was waiting for them in the hallway when they returned to the house.

‘Where have you been all morning?’ she scolded.

Lucie realized none of them had a good excuse for this morning. Most of the time, no one had noticed them return, and they had been ‘reading’ the whole time in their bedrooms. At least for Thomas and Alastair, it was believable that they’d want to spend time together in a bedroom “reading” any time of the day. She looked around to see if anyone would come up with something. At least Cordelia was a decent liar. But no one offered a believable excuse and Lucie had no inspiration.

‘We were looking for a way back into the land in between,’ Lucie said, deciding not to reveal her father’s role in their adventures. ‘But we couldn’t find it. So no harm done, we weren’t in danger and the only injuries sustained are my blisters.’

Her mother sighed. ‘You’re just like your father, Lucie. But I’d hoped some of you had more sense.’

Her mother looked at Alastair, her expression stern. ‘I thought you could be a voice of reason among them, Alastair. I don’t understand why you’d do something so reckless. Promise me you won’t go into the woods again.’

Lucie agreed that out of the four of them, Alastair probably had the most common sense, but it was almost painful to see Alastair respond. Lucie knew her mother often came across as harsher than she meant, but Alastair probably didn’t. His face went blank, he retreated back into his shell. Lucie might not have noticed anything was wrong if Cordelia had not looked so concerned.

‘I’m sorry to have disappointed you, dr. Gray,’ he said and before anyone else could say anything, Alastair disappeared inside, presumably to his bedroom.

Her mother had a PhD and did all sorts of medical research, Lucie knew she liked it when people called her by her title, but at the same time she’d hoped Alastair was close enough to her parents to call them by their first names.

Thomas and Cordelia also made their way inside before her mother could get angry with them too, Lucie remaining behind.

‘It was for Thomas,’ Lucie said. ‘We needed to find the place in between again. We needed to find Grace’ selkie skin or else Tatiana will force Grace to enchant us with her voice.’

Tessa sighed, putting her hand on Lucie’s shoulder. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, Lucie? We could have gone in your place.’

Lucie figured she shouldn’t tell her mother her father had encouraged her to go.

‘I didn’t want you to put yourself in danger,’ Lucie said. ‘Cordelia has cortana, Alastair has his memory, so they had to go. I think you’ve upset Alastair, I better go check if he’s alright.’

Tessa sighed. ‘No, I will check on him. You’re right, I was too harsh on him. I didn’t consider… Never mind, I’ll go. But don’t think you’re out of trouble, young lady. You’re not leaving the house until otherwise specified.’

Lucie groaned and went inside, taking off her shoes and replacing the patches on her blisters. She had a pair of fit flops she could still wear, and Lucie decided that even if those shoes weren’t the most suitable for the forest, she would wear them for their next walk. If she was ever allowed to leave the house again, that was.

She wasn’t sure where Cordelia or Thomas had gone, upstairs to find Alastair? Perhaps she should join them, but her father found her first.

‘Tessa caught you,’ he concluded, sitting down next to her.

Lucie made a face. ‘Now I’m not allowed to leave the house.’

‘I’ll talk to her,’ her father promised. ‘Have you found anything yet?’

‘No,’ Lucie said. ‘I don’t understand why. Thomas and Alastair one day walked into the land in between on accident, but now we can’t find it and it’s frustrating and my feet hurt and these blisters are bursting open.’ She paused. ‘Did you see where Thomas and Cordelia went?’

‘Upstairs,’ Will said. ‘I’m thinking they’re talking to Alastair. He seemed rather upset. Is everything alright with him?’

Lucie sighed. ‘I think it’s something mom said. She didn’t mean to hurt him, but because he’s the oldest out of the four of us and definitely the one with the most common sense, she said that she’d expected more from him.’

She couldn’t explain it exactly, she didn’t always understand what upset Alastair. But she suspected Alastair felt like he didn’t deserve to be here, or that her parents liking him was very conditional. Perhaps in Alastair’s mind, all love was conditional, and any mistake he made meant he’d lose someone’s love. Lucie was trying to understand what was going on in his head. As a writer, she should be able to understand how people thought and why they did what they did. As a friend, she should be able to offer support. She wasn’t sure she was doing a good job with either.

‘I imagine that’s difficult for him to hear,’ Will said. He sighed. ‘This is all my fault. I’ll talk to your mother, and tell her I encouraged you to go.’

‘Mom will be very mad with you,’ Lucie said.

‘Now she’s angry with you, and I deserve it more,’ Will said. A playful smile lit up his face. ‘Besides, you’re not little princess Lucinda who needs to be locked in a tower, that’s for sure. What’s life without a little risk?’

Lucie wondered if he’d feel the same way after facing her mother.

She went outside into the garden on her fit flops to feel the sun on her skin after reapplying sun screen. The weather was nice today, not too hot, a soft breeze against her cheek, and only a few clouds in the air. That could change any moment though, Scotland was known for is changeable weather. A good atmosphere for a nice romantic scene, or bonding between friends or family. Or just fun scenes that might not need to be in the book but balanced out the dark ones. Lucie felt a book should be balanced in that sense. While she loved drama and darkness, she did not like gritty stories where everything was dark and terrible. She liked to balance out the darkness with a sweet romance or gentle characters still remaining kind and hopeful in the worst circumstances. Or characters who might have turned bitter, but were trying to be better. Thomas had a bit of a weakness for those, which totally wasn’t because that archetype resembled Alastair.

The garden still counted as the house, right? She suspected Thomas and Cordelia were both still with Alastair and she didn’t think it would be a good idea to join them. She didn’t know Alastair as well as Cordelia did, she feared she’d only say the wrong thing. Besides, Alastair didn’t seem to like people taking care of him or fussing over him, Cordelia had told her she sometimes had to force him to let her protect him for once. Lucie feared her mother’s comment had reinforced some deeply held belief of his that he was worthless, even if she had never intended to make him feel that way.

She wondered how she’d never seen something was not right at the Carstairs home. Cordelia hadn’t either, but she remembered how when she was young, Cordelia would sometimes come to her for sleepovers, whereas Cordelia’s parents had rarely invited her over at their house. Of course, when she was little Lucie would get homesick and preferred having sleep overs at her own house anyway, so it had never bothered her.

And when Lucie was little, her father would always come sing her a Welsh lullaby. He was Welsh through his father, whereas the house here in Scotland had been in her grandmother’s family for some time. He was a horrible singer, and it was hilarious how he kept trying and did not care what people thought. It was sweet and Lucie had always felt safe and protected when her father came to tuck her in and sing his horrible songs. Cordelia had told her it was usually Alastair who sang her good night songs and tucked her in. That had made sense too. Alastair had a beautiful voice after all, and who wouldn’t want to listen to him sing? Back then, Alastair had seemed much older and wiser than the two of them, but really, he’d been a child too.

And Cordelia had regularly had to cancel plans because her father was sick and she couldn’t leave him. Lucie had understood, although the disappointment never quite faded. But when Lucie’s father was sick, he might whine and moan like a typical man flu patient and complain that he needed uncle Jem’s care and support, but he would never have asked Lucie to choose taking care of him over spending time with the few friends she had.

None of those things had struck her as odd in childhood, but now she was thinking maybe they should have. Maybe someone should have seen something was not right at the Carstairs house. Perhaps then Alastair wouldn’t be in so much pain now.

‘Lucie!’

Lucie looked up, but didn’t see anyone calling out her name. Nor did she recognize the voice. It was a smooth, feminine voice.

‘Over here!’ the voice hissed and Lucie followed the sound to the trees and recognized Grace.

‘What are you doing here?’ Lucie asked.

‘Tatiana left me alone. She didn’t realize I had enough free will left to come here.’

‘I’m sorry, we don’t have your skin yet,’ Lucie said.

Grace rolled her eyes. ‘I know. I’ve seen you walk in the woods once or twice. Honestly, that was embarrassing.’

Lucie frowned. ‘How so?’

‘You never even opened the gateway,’ Grace said.

‘How are we supposed to do that? We’re not Tatiana!’ Lucie exclaimed. ‘And Alastair and Thomas entered the land in between by accident.’

‘It sucks people in sometimes,’ Grace said. ‘But rarely by accident. Alastair was targeted when he and Thomas came there, Tatiana found out he has a memory ability and she thinks he’s a threat to her plans. I think she’s scared her brother will remember something. That’s why the werewolf was after him.’

Lucie frowned. ‘They know about that?’

‘Yes. But they do not yet know about you,’ Grace said. ‘I figured it out when I realized you could see Jesse. You better get my skin back before she realizes what you are. She’ll want you dead for sure.’

‘What I am?’ Lucie asked.

‘You have power, Lucie,’ Grace said. ‘You’re a witch.’

‘No, I’m not,’ Lucie said. ‘I just see ghosts. That’s all.’

‘I know you see ghosts. You talked to Jesse. Do you have any idea how rare that ability is?’

‘I’ve never met anyone else who could do it.’

‘Exactly!’ Grace exclaimed. ‘You have no idea what you’re capable of. You can open a gateway into the land in between. And even more important, if you find yourself trapped you can open the way back.’

‘How do you know?’ Lucie asked.

‘Because I have heard legends of one other person like you. A witch who was born centuries ago. She wasn’t like other humans who used magic, she used dark magic, but hadn’t acquired it through a deal and there was no price to pay to something powerful. As a little girl, all she knew was she saw ghosts. And when ghosts stayed around her, they became stronger. But she learnt there was much more she could do and grew stronger. She learnt to open those gateways and use them as a weapon, she learnt to control the dead.’

Lucie was horrified. She could do such things? ‘What happened to her?’

‘As a woman of her time, and an odd one at that, she was treated badly of course. At some point she snapped and became a dangerous, evil witch. Who can blame her, honestly. She was defeated by the ancestor of the Carstairs, the one who carries cortana. Before he could deliver the killing blow, she jumped into the sea and drowned herself. She lost her dark magic, but came back to life as a daughter of the sea, a mermaid. She repented, changed, and lived her life peacefully in the sea. That is how we know her story.’

Lucie frowned. ‘I don’t want to be an evil witch,’ she said.

Grace’s grey eyes were cold and void of emotion. ‘Then don’t be. Just because magic is dark doesn’t mean it’s evil. Be a good witch or a neutral one or whatever you want to be. But you can’t change that you are a witch, and I need you to find my skin. You, the bearer of cortana, and the one with the memory. Without you it can’t be done. But you need to know what you can do, you need to open a gateway.’

‘How?’ Lucie asked.

‘It’s your power, not mine,’ Grace said. ‘Go figure it out. I need to get back before Tatiana realizes I am missing. They say when the witch wanted something, all she had to do was ask. So be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.’

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics with everyone’s favorite trope - sharing a bed! We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis' bed when he's cold. Louis pines.

2) Been Gone Way Too Long | Explicit | 8836 words

“This can’t be happening,” Louis says, banging his hand against the window. “This seriously can’t be happening right now.”

Things like this only happen in the movies. Things like this don’t happen in real life. There’s no way that he’s seriously been snowed in. There’s no way that the heating is broken. There’s no way that it’s going to take upwards of twenty-four hours and probably a lot longer for the storm to break and someone to come and rescue them.

“Just sit down, Louis,” Harry sighs from somewhere behind him. He sounds miserable, like he’s already feeling the cold.

Louis whirls around and points a finger at him. “Did you plan this?” he demands a little hysterically. He regrets the question as soon as it’s out of his mouth, but he thinks he’s got a valid point. It’s not like this storm just came out of nowhere - it has to have been on the news for a couple of days, at least. Plenty of time for Harry to have canceled this excursion.

3) I'm Trying Not To Make A Sound | Explicit | 10452 words

Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible.

4) Enjoy The Ride | Not Rated | 11103 words

The one where Louis, an omega more than tired of being treated as lesser than alphas, is forced on a road trip by his beta besties only to meet Harry who might just be the alpha he never knew he wanted.

5) Cuffed | Not Rated | 15254 words

What would you do if you were handcuffed to your enemy for 48 hours?

6) Up For It | Explicit | 18223 words

The one where Liam is Mr Organised, Zayn is too perceptive for his own good, Niall is a compulsive matchmaker, and Harry and Louis might just have the surprise to shock them all.

7) Holiday Greetings (And Gay Happy Meetings) | Not Rated | 18417 words | Sequel

Note: This fic has no smut, but it has omega Louis. The sequel has smut.

The one where Niall's dead car and and a foot of snow conspire to force Louis into spending time with an alpha he hates.... or does he?

8) The Aurora Zone | Explicit | 19633 words

The one where Harry is busy crossing off his bucket list while Louis is busy falling for the guy he's supposed to hate.

9) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

10) Etched In Salt (Is A Cathedral Of The World) | Explicit | 24417 words

Note: This fic has BH mentions. It is also locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis asks for very few things in life, and they are: to solve cases, to keep bad people from doing their bad things, to get good coffee, to go home to a spacious apartment with nobody else in it, and to manage his stupid telempathy powers with minimal interference. And now he's stuck in a tiny cabin in a snowstorm in the middle of god-awful-nowhere with Harry Styles. Because of course he is.

11) Like A Siren In The Night | Explicit | 25868 words

“There is an infestation in my home,” Louis hisses, righting himself quickly and pushing his way past Harry, heading directly for the kitchen. He’s rather haphazardly dressed himself, a coat thrown on over a loose flannel shirt and black pants, slippers on his feet.

Harry resists the urge to sigh, closing the door and trailing behind him slowly. “What kind of infestation?”

For all he knows, Louis is going to claim that there’s a ghost infestation. Harry has no idea what the end game is here – all he knows is that Louis has found at least three complaints a week to bring up since he’s been living on Harry’s property, and he’s been living here for six months.

It’s way too many fucking complaints, is what Harry is saying. Especially when most of them are ridiculous to start with.

12) Always Come Back To You | Explicit | 28682 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

13) We’re Not Who We Used To Be | Explicit | 30611 words

“Harry…” Louis’ voice catches in his throat, thick with tears threatening to fall out, so he coughs to clear it before trying again. “Harry is Liam’s best man?” “You didn’t know?” Harry is standing at the entrance of the garage, mouth slightly open and face pulled together. He sets his bag on the ground and puts his hands on his hips. When he does that, he looks just like the Harry that Louis remembers (and loves, he thinks with an aching heart). “I’m sure I mentioned it,” Liam says, but Louis can tell he’s lying by the way he chews on his lower lip and twists his fingers together. “You’re all a bunch of dick heads, I’m getting in the car.” Louis isn’t sure if he’s being unreasonable. He has no idea what the protocol is when your ex-boyfriend shows up after three years and nobody bothered to give you a heads up. He’s pretty sure he’s allowed to be upset about it, even if it’s only for a bit.

14) Blind From This Sweet, Sweet Craving | Explicit | 31170 words

"So, I guess we'll go?" Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. "I mean, I wouldn't mind. We could make it an adventure."

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He's fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry's gaze–he probably knows that Harry's mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he's not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he's also Harry's best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he'd still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He's got Harry's back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they'll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. "We're going," he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

15) Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | Mature | 32584 words

The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

16) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat | Explicit | 34572 words

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

17) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

18) Playing To Win | Explicit | 36732 words

Big Brother UK alumni Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are selected for the UK vs Australia All Stars series with a massive one million dollar prize in the offing. They’re both fit and smart and would make a great alliance... if only they can stop their feelings from getting in the way.

19) If I Stay | Mature | 37226 words

Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

20) The Space Between | Explicit | 39917 words

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

21) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

22) Tangled Up In You | Explicit | 45152 words

Harry blinks once. And blinks again. And says, his voice dangerous: “Niall, did you get me a mail-order bride?”

Because what the actual fuck. It kind of looks like Niall’s just purchased a person. For Harry.

Niall blinks back at him for a few moments, before throwing his head back and howling with laughter. Harry throws a pillow at him. Hard. “No, what the fuck, Harry.”

“A prostitute then?” Harry also doesn't want a prostitute.

“Of course not!”

“A stripper?”

“No!”

Damn, he’s running out of ideas. He settles for launching another pillow at Niall’s head. Niall bats it away easily, still laughing. “Stop!”

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

23) No Going Back | Explicit | 56102 words

Sales reps Harry and Louis are bored with their jobs and their lives. After meeting at a conference in Cardiff they hook up, have a few too many drinks, and jokingly apply to become remote lighthouse keepers. Six months, just the two of them, looking after the southernmost lighthouse off the bottom of Australia. It’s not like their applications will be accepted. Right?

This is the story of how one choice - a left instead of a right, a go instead of a stop, a yes instead of a no - can change the future forever and that sometimes, taking that leap of faith, is worth the risk.

24) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

25) Swallow The Knife | Explicit | 76158 words

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

26) Waiting On You | Explicit | 76584 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

27) Perfect Storm | Explicit | 80230 words

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

28) Nothing Worsens, Nothing Grows | Mature | 102528 words

Another roadtrip AU featuring Harry as the misunderstood hipster, Louis as the bitter psych major, Liam as the one with the secret boyfriend, and Niall as the one who just wants everyone to be happy.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[mithrilwren]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! 

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.

[wherethingscomebackx]

Top 25 Larry fics of 2019

It’s that time again!

You may be familiar with these lists:

Top 25 Larry fics of 2016

Top 25 Larry fics of 2017

Top 25 Larry fics of 2018

As always, I read a lot of fic and the majority of it is Larry. I like making lists and I like Larry so I thought I’d do some minimal research of the top 25 larry fics published/completed in 2019 in order of least to most kudos (with links). All of these fics are top notch so you should all check them out! 

25.) Foolishy Laying Our Hearts on the Table by @runaway-train-works (11k)

“You think Harry wants that?”

“Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten.

“Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”

Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.”

Or

The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.

24.) Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices by @toomanydreamers (126k)

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

23.) all we can do is keep breathing by @avocadolouie (310k)

“Harry, I-I’m so sorry…” Louis stutters out, trying to keep his voice level and even, to portray a depiction of strength, but with the way Harry is looking at him, staring at him like he has a personal passage way straight to Louis’ soul, it’s so hard, nearly impossible.

That simple opening phrase, that short introductory acknowledgement that is often rushed out so easily, painlessly, at a safe distance. Giving a doctor the ability to portray empathy without true emotion, without feeling the full brunt and sheer force of the underlying pain itself.

But Louis feels it, he feels the crushing agony laced behind the phrase, he feels the weight of the painful words slipping from his lips, the cause and effect that the three-word expression holds. The distantly empty “I’m so sorry” that doctors throw out in self-preservation, isn’t at all empty for him. Louis recognizes it, he understands it, he feels it.

--

a fated story of two broken and battered boys who barely survived the unimaginable and how the love of one little brave girl defies all the odds and somehow puts them back together.

22.) Raise a Glass to the Four of Us by @2tiedships2 (25k)

Louis stared at his luggage.

Well. Apparently not his luggage, because the clothing he was looking at currently was a: worth more than everything he currently possessed, b: not his size at all, and c: more suited for a fancy ass lawyer than a holiday in NYC with his best mates.

“Ooh, nice loafers,” Niall said as he pulled one out of the suitcase. “I love the rainbows.”

“Okay,” Liam began. “What do you want to do first? Eat, shop for new clothes, or spend hours on the phone with the airline?”

Louis continued to stare at the luggage.

21.) You Have to Retreat to Advance by @2tiedships2 (18k)

“What am I going to do, Perrie? I can’t go on this retreat by myself. My boss literally said he wants to meet my omega.” Harry paused. “Okay, not literally but he definitely expects me to be bringing him.”

“Don’t people go on these things by themselves?” Perrie asked.

Harry shrugged. “Of course but that’s not the point.”

“What’s the point?”

“My boss is expecting to meet my omega! I don’t have an omega!”

“Is this a paying gig?” Perrie asked.

“You mean paying an omega to spend the weekend with me? I’m sure the resort has nice amenities. Does that count?”

“I take that as a no,” Perrie said with an eye roll. “It’s okay, Louis might be willing to do it for free.”

“Who’s Louis?”

Or the one where Harry is expected to bring his longterm omega to the company's mountain retreat. Since he hadn't told anyone that they'd broken up months ago, he now has to find someone willing to play the part.

20.) A Darker Shade of Love by LittleSpoonStyles94 (750k)

Louis is a 30 year old multi-billionaire with a very dark past. He is violent and is a sadist with a taste for pain. Harry Styles is a 19 year old student who sets out to London after being kicked out by his homophobic father to follow his dreams. He wants to go to the best University to study but he needs a lot of money so he starts to work as a part time stripper at a gay club to support his studies and his life. The club he works at, Garland's, is part owned by Louis Tomlinson. When they meet, its life changing for the both of them.

19.) You Still Make Sense to Me by @amories (37k)

Harry, Louis, and their family navigate life together through the years.

18.) Like Water Over Fire (Like Water On Fire) by @mcssymon (119k)

“I’m sorry your highness, I think I misheard you, did you really say that you are hoping to meet your husband?” Oh god, Louis panicked. Was Prince Harry gay? Was he even allowed to be gay? Surely he wouldn’t be allowed to have a selection from a group of men, right?

Prince Harry looked partly like he wanted to laugh, but also very, very nervous about what he had just admitted, “Yes, sir, you heard correctly”

Or Prince Harry has 46 men and 13 weeks to find the husband of his dreams, Louis has a limited amount to time to live out a royal fantasy. They might just be exactly what the other needs.

17.) waiting for the tides to meet by @nauticalleeds (59k)

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

16.) Call Answered by @vondrostes (249k)

The day after his 27th birthday, Harry Styles attempts suicide. Louis is flown to his bedside to unravel the mystery of why he did it after a flash drive is found with a note attached, addressed to Louis. On it are a collection of 78 songs, all written for different dates from their past.

15.) Counterbalance by @louandhazaf (44k)

Harry Styles loves two things: teaching ballet and racing motorcycles. Those two worlds collide when his greatest rival on the track, Louis “Tommo” Tomlinson brings his tiny siblings to Harry’s class.

14.) Everywhere and Nowhere by @2tiedships2 (16k)

Niall took a seat and said, "Apparently Louis' downstairs neighbor is a fan of giving Louis creepy gifts. Maybe I should go introduce myself and tell him that Louis actually prefers food."

"What has he given you?" Liam asked.

Louis shrugged as it were no big deal. "There was a rabbit's foot keychain on the door a little after he left from introducing himself and there was a small teddy bear sitting by my door tonight. Obviously I can't prove it's from him, but they seem to have his scent. I could be wrong though."

"Wow," Liam said, looking deep in thought. "That's old school."

"What's old school?" Niall asked. "Giving creepy gifts?"

"I've never known an alpha to do it, to be honest, but he's courting you."

Louis couldn't contain his look of disbelief directed at Liam. "He's courting me. Like some sort of romantic shit they'd do in the 1800s or something?"

13.) Swallow The Knife by whoknows (76k)

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

12.) and oh, all of your saturdays could end up in woe by ihavetoomuchfreetime (70k)

a fic in which louis' in a long-term relationship with an abusive asshole, niall, zayn and liam are so far but not really, and harry is that all too friendly guy who works in sainsbury's.

11.) thinking about the t-shirt you slept in by @absoloutenonsense (52k)

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

10.) Consequences by @allwaswell16 (78k)

Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

An amnesia au

9.) Strawberries & Cigarettes by @dimpled-halo (76k)

Harry looks up and immediately freezes. Next to Ms. Archie stands the boy from just the other day. The boy with the leather jacket and chipped black nails, that might or might not be sketched in the very book Harry has just placed on the table in front of him. The leather jacket is missing today, probably because they aren’t allowed as part of their required uniform attire, but Harry can still see the fading black nail polish on his nails, and eyeliner around his eyes. Harry’s mouth goes a little dry. This boy is so intriguing to him.

“Ye-yes, Ms. Archie?” Harry tries to play it cool, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are burning red, and he’s relieved neither of them can tell how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

The boy seems to also recognize Harry, because his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“Harry is at the top of his class. He’s your best bet at getting familiar with things around here.” She explains.

Louis nods, his smirk still very prominent on his face. “Thank you Ms. Archie. I’ll be sure to take advantage of young Harold here.”

*

Summary: Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

8.) Pain makes people change by Deidei (113k)

An organization called Canis Lupus existed solely for changing humans imprisoned in their wolf form back to their human form. Some people after experiencing some traumatic event can only ‘’protect’’ themselves from the pain by forgetting everything. To do that, to feel safe, they shift into their wolf form.

Which they'll be stuck in forever should no one intervene.

Louis Tomlison went through a traumatic experience at the age of twelve in which he lost his mother, to make the pain go away he shifted into a wolf and fled. He survived in the wild as a wolf for five years until Canis Lupis caught him... Though he wasn't alone, he had a pup at his side.

7.) Pretty Please (With Sugar On Top) by @angelichl (113k)

Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

6.) Enemies with benefits by ssii8 (267k)

Where Harry is captain of basketball team and Louis is captain of football team and they hate each other. But somehow this doesn't stop them from having sex.

And everything is perfect until they start to feel something more.

5.) Ready To Fall by whoknows (21k)

“Ninety and rising,” Nick says triumphantly, as though making Harry’s heartbeat pick up by thrusting an obscenely attractive person in front of his face is any kind of success. “Louis Tomlinson has just walked into our control room and suddenly our dear Harry Styles has lost all ability to speak. Could this be some kind of strange coincidence?”

“I hate you,” Harry hisses, forcing his eyes back into Nick’s direction, uncaring that the mic must have picked it up. “I thought we agreed that you were going to play fair.”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Nick denies, except he’s holding up a picture of Louis’ face now, sharp cheekbones prominent, soft lashes nearly sweeping against his cheeks as he looks down, and his fucking mouth –

“A hundred and two!” Nick crows, all but clapping his hands together in glee. “The highest it’s ever been!”

“To be fair, I did bend over the desk on purpose,” Louis’ voice comes crackling in the headphones. Harry practically breaks his neck whipping his head around at the sound of it, gaping at him through the glass panel. “You can’t really blame him for getting a little excited about that, can you?”

4.) Close to Nowhere by @angelichl (34k)

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

3.) Play Pretend, Find a Friend? by @angelichl (40k)

They had to pull back for air. Louis surveyed the guy’s face, in awe of his blown pupils and sharp jawline, the way their shared spit glistened on his lips.

“Hi,” he breathed. He blinked, and came back to himself a little bit, blushing at his own boldness. “Sorry. Is this okay?”

The stranger removed his right hand from the curve of Louis’ waist in order to cup his jaw, tilting it up to the angle he desired. He pressed their lips together, murmuring, “Definitely.” And then he kissed harder.

When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.

INSPIRED BY CLOUDS.

2.) Let Me Feel Your Heartbeat by @angelichl (34k)

Harry is 98% sure Louis hates him. So he feels like his bewilderment is justified when the omega offers to help him through his rut.

1.) All My Colours by IceQueenRia (267k)

Green… yellow… red. Red! RED!!!

Some people were born Dominant and others submissive. Sixteen year old Louis Tomlinson was a submissive and was proud to be so… until he was forced to his knees for the first time. The man before him was every subs nightmare, an abusive Dom, the kind who didn’t believe in the colour ‘red’ unless it was in the form of blood.

There were others, but Louis was the ‘favourite’ and he was the one the Dom liked to ‘play with’ the most. In fact, when the rescue team arrived, Louis was the one currently providing ‘service’ to the Dom.

Or

Louis, Zayn and Niall are abused subs. Liam Payne is their devoted new Guidance Counsellor who just wants to make Niall smile and hear Zayn speak. As for Louis, he knows his guidance won’t be enough to help the boy heal. No, Louis Tomlinson needs something very special and very specific. He needs Harry Styles.

[slashthedice]

I’m not sure if you would count this as a request (just ignore it if you do) but how old do you think all the dead by daylight killers are?

Not at all! This is a really good question! I hope it’s alright if I only do the original killers since most of the licensed ones have established canon ages. These are just my thoughts based on what I got out of the character’s lore and the lore of their associated maps.

Evan MacMillan - The Trapper: 30-35 years old

The first age we hear discussed for Evan is 14 in the Archives (yes, I know I dislike and mostly ignore the horrible retconning the Archives do, but sometimes they offer a good baseline). Based on the lore and the appearance of his unmasked character model, I would place him in his early to mid thirties.

Philip Ojomo - The Wraith: 24-27 years old

I believe that Philip was probably young when he moved to Canada, maybe between the ages on 19-23. It seems like he worked for Autohaven Wreckers for quite some time before he found out the awful things that were going on and he had unwittingly been apart of, but I would still guess that he was fairly young.

Max Thompson Jr. - The Hillbilly: 20-25 years old

Max is absolutely still relatively young. I would say he’s probably similar in age to Philip. I headcanon that the Entity “spoke” to Max for a long time before he finally killed his parents, easily influencing his thoughts and feelings since his parents had never nurtured him in any meaningful way. The Entity would want him in his prime, but I’m not sure if his physical condition affects his health in any way, and if it would affect his lifespan, so the Entity may have taken him while he was still young.

Sally Smithson - The Nurse: 40-48 years old

So, we know that Sally was married before she went to Crotus Prenn. We also know that based on the style of her nursing uniform she was likely working sometime between the years of 1895 and about 1910, so I would guess that (based on trends of the time) that she was married in her twenties, likely early to mid. Her lore states that she worked at Crotus Prenn for two decades, which would put her somewhere in her forties.

Lisa Sherwood - The Hag: 25-35 years old

Because of the connotations of her title as “hag” and the Grandma’s Cookbook offering, I always thought of Lisa as being older. However, as I take a closer look at her lore, it seems to me that she may be much younger than I originally would have guessed. The cookbook belonged to the family of cannibals that kidnapped her, it was not her own. Her lore also mentions “the elders” who taught her the symbols, on which basis I would guess Lisa is not apart of those considered to be elders, meaning she’s at the very least not elderly. There is also no mention of Lisa having any family. She’s a difficult one, and if I knew from where she was heading home when she was kidnapped I might have better insight, but I would say that she could be anywhere from mid-twenties to thirties.

Herman Carter - The Doctor: 31-40 years old

So the first thing we are told about Herman in his lore is that he was published in high school and then fast tracked into the advanced neuroscience program at Yale within the year, likely making him 18 or 19 at the time. He was then transferred to Léry's Memorial Institute where he was trained and mentored by Stamper, which I’m guessing took place over a span of time that was likely a few years. Based on this I’m guessing that he was between the ages of 24-27 when he was given his own office/experiment space and Project Awakening was approved. It’s stated that over the years he became known as The Doctor. I’m not sure for how long Herman worked within the bounds of the MK Ultra project, but since I’m assuming his use of ECT and Project Awakening are based on the Montreal Experiments which took place between 1957 and 1964 I think it would be safe to posit a timeline of 7 years which would place Herman somewhere between 31 and 34, although I believe he may be as old as 40 based upon renderings of his character model without the headgear and the real life ages at the time of those heading projects within the CIA funded MK Ultra.

Anna - The Huntress: 23-25 years old

So, I had hoped to find more information about Anna from the origins of her lullaby, but unfortunately I could find little information about its origin. We know that she was very young when her mother was killed, I’m guessing between the ages of 7 and 10. It’s stated that she “got older and stronger and practised her hunt”. By that time I would have to guess she was between 16 and 18. Once she began to hunt humans, she had to have time to collect multiple little girls and unfortunately watch them die, putting her (by my best guess) between 21 and 23. Her lore then describes German soldiers coming into her territory which I believe would have been in 1916 and that she disappeared by the end of the war which was 1918 (unless we’re talking Russia’s exit from WW1 which I believe was in 1917). That means that by the time the Entity took her, she was 25 at the oldest.

Kenneth Chase - The Clown: 58-61 years old

For some reason my brain is telling me that Kenneth is 61, but I can’t find anything concrete to support that. So here’s what we know definitively: Kenneth was born in 1932, and he left home in 1954 when his father found his collection and he was 22. He then integrated himself into a traveling circus where he stayed for the next decade, putting him at 32 years old. After that he roamed and acted as a parasite until the Entity took him. However, a clue comes in the form of his VHS add on. The distribution of pornography on VHS tapes was popularized in the 1980′s, which means he was at least 48 when he acquired said tape, though its description as “an all time classic” leads me to believe that he had it for a decent stretch of time. So I would probably place him between the ages of 58 and my original guess of 61.

Rin Yamaoka - The Spirit: 20-22 years old

Rin is stated to be attending a private university at the time of her father’s mental break and attack on both her and her mother. There had to have been time for the bills to pile up between her university costs and her mother’s health expenses, which leads me to believe that she had been attending classes for at least a couple years. This would place her between the ages of 20 and 22.

Frank, Julie, Susie, Joey - The Legion: 19 (Frank) & 18 (Julie, Susie, and Joey)

I’ve discussed this one before, but I base my HC for the ages of the Legion based on Frank’s canonically established aged, and the devs stating that all of their characters are over the age of 18.

Adiris - The Plague: 19-22 years old

I could talk about Adiris for hours, but I’ll try to keep this one short. Adiris’s lore states that when she came of age she attended to the priests that were performing rituals and services to worship the Sea-Goat. Chronological age was not of particular importance to Babylonians so on the basis that “coming of age” is used in reference to a time when a young woman is ready to be married, I referred to Martha T. Roth’s paper Age at Marriage and the Household: A Study of Neo-BabyIonian and Neo-Assyrian Form and concluded that Adiris would likely have been between the ages of 15-18. After this, Adiris assisted in many rituals and cleansings as plague spread through the city of Babylon. I’m guessing that it was a couple years before all of the priests at the Temple of Purgation were unable to continue their duties leaving Adiris as the only one able to carry on. She would have needed time to amass her devoted followers and treat them before she herself began to show signs of infection. She then went to great lengths in an attempt to purge the plague from her body, which would have taken time. By the time of her self-imposed exile and subsequent death, I would place her between 19 and 22.

Kazan Yamaoka - The Oni: Thirties

I admittedly have not had as much time to do research and develop a concrete headcanon for Kazan’s age, but there are a few bits of his lore that can help to formulate a basic age range. We know for a fact that Kazan was married and had a son, and that his son was old enough to climb and play in order for him to have his accident. Based upon this and renderings of the Oni without his mask, I would guess that he’s in his thirties.

Caleb Quinn - The Deathslinger: 44-48 years old

Caleb is another character that I have not spent very much time with. In his lore, the only set amount of time that we are made aware of is the 15 years in which he was imprisoned, and then the six years in which he led the Hellshire gang. That’s at least 21 years of his adult life. I’m assuming that Caleb was a young adult when he first began working for Bayshore (probably between the ages of 18 and 21). It would have taken time for Caleb to create his inventions, and then for Bayshore to sell the designs and for those designs to be put into production. I’d guess sometime between 5 and 6 years, which would put him at 23 at the youngest when he attempted to kill Bayshore. He then spent 15 years in prison, and then 6 years heading the Hellshire gang. Therefore, I believe that he is at youngest 44 and at oldest 48.

Again, these are just my opinions and interpretations of the lore with which we have been presented, and I would be thrilled to hear any other ideas and headcanons!

[c-watches-too-many-shows]

Break My Heart (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Fanfiction

Chapter 11

You’re John B’s cousin, your father sent you to Outer Banks to keep an eye on his nephew or at least that what everyone believes. You expected it to be a calm summer, relaxing in the beach, catching up with your cousin and clearing your mind, but all those plans fly out the window when you meet JJ Maybank.

Warning: none.

| Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10 | - | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14 | Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20 | Ch 21 | Ch 22 | Ch 23 | Ch 24 | Ch 25 | Ch 26 |

There were people everywhere, somehow even more people that in the keggers you went at the beach, but Sarah’s house was huge so it didn’t feel crowded. Somewhere playing drinking games, other just chilling around the pool and inside the house. It was obviously filled with kooks, you and the pogues were the only “different” ones, not only by your cloths and attitude but also by the dirty looks they would give you now and then. However as the night went on everyone kept drinking and the drunker they got the less unfriendly or unpleasant they were.

“What’s in them?” Kie asked as Sarah handed each of you a red cup.

“It’s just beer, don’t worry.” she said taking a sit next to you. “I’ll never again steal from my father’s stash.” she joked but was 100% serious at the same time. The three of you laughed.

You were currently by the pool sitting on the couch with Kie on one side and Sarah on the other, each with their own cup of beer, just talking. The boys were nowhere to be find. They told you they’d arrive late when everyone was drunk enough to not care if they were there. You started to believe they weren’t coming when you saw them walk through the backyard door.

They were noticeable uncomfortable, their narrowed looks gave it away as they searched for you three in the crowd. You lifted your arm so they could see us and their expressions changed automatically, specially JJ’s, a huge smile appearing on his face.

An even bigger appeared on yours as you looked away, trying not to be obvious. As you got ready and helped Kie and Sarah set everything up earlier you kept repeating to yourself the reason you wanted to come was to have fun, but deep down you knew why you really wanted this night out with the pogues or more specifically with JJ. You wanted something to happen between the two of you, something long overdue. Third time’s the charm, right? By the looks JJ had been giving you all they you guessed he had the same thing in mind. Maybe it was dumb the fact that you’d rather get drunk for something between the two of you to finally happen instead of talking about it like normal people do, but both of you were new at this and neither of you was ready to admit to themself the reason why you felt such and attraction for each other.

“Oh no they are drinking again.” John B said playfully taking your cup and smelling it to see what it had inside. You rolled your eyes and took the drink from his hand.

“Today we’re laying low.” Pope remembered everyone, worried because he’d be unable to stop all this kooks from beating you up, you were definitely outnumbered.

“Ok dad.” JJ said rolling his eyes. “I need a drink if I’m gonna be surrounded by so many kooks the whole night.” You watched him as he headed towards the keg and the table were all the drinks where, followed by John B and Pope. They each filled a cup with beer and came back. With that the drinking started.

An hour had gone by, Sarah and your cousin were gone doing God knows what, Kie was in an intense beer pong match against some kook who had arrogantly dared her not knowing what he was getting himself into, and Pope disappeared half an hour ago to get a drink but never came back.

“Don’t worry he’s probably boring some poor girl to dead with dead body facts.” said JJ carelessly taking another sip of his cup. You were in the same spot as earlier, chilling by the pool. Having had already a couple drink you were a little tipsy, but it also gave you the confidence bust that you needed for the night.

“Cut him some slack, not everyone’s good at flirting.” you said, steering the conversation to where you wanted it. “I mean not everyone is as good as me.” you joked and gave him a teasing smile which he replied.

“What makes you think you’re so good?” he said turning so he was facing you now as you were sitting in the couch. Your knees touching because of the proximity.

“I have 10 bucks back home that prove I am.”

“Didn’t he reject you later?” he pointed out, he’d never let that go. The feeling of happiness he had when he found out came back to him and made him smile.

“Oh low blow” you said closing your eyes pretending to be hit in the guts. “He still had feeling for his ex that’s not my fault.” He laughed as you defended yourself.

“Don’t worry I can give you some tips, improve your game.” He looked you in the eyes with a certain sparkle in his and the world surrounding you disappeared once again.

“And who made you think you were good at it?” you teased him raising your left brow.

“If I don’t remember wrong, you a couple weeks ago at the welcome kegger.” he said cockly to which you responded by narrowing your brows in a confused expression, as if you didn’t know what he was talking about. On the inside you were happy he brought it up, that’s what you wanted. “Come on, you were all over me.”

“Really? Well if I don’t remember wrong, you were all over me.”

“You touched my arm.”

“So this is ‘being all over you’?” you said resting your hand in his arm like you did that night, doing it to prove your point but also because you wanted to. He shivered at the contact. “You were the one who put his hand in my face and started leaning in-”

“Like this.” he cut you off as he placed his hand on your face, cutting your breath as he surprised you. You could feel his thumb caressing your cheek. Your hand was still on his arm and he felt the grip tighten as if you were pushing him closer to you.

“Yes …” you whispered, agreeing with him, but also in a way giving him permission to keep on going, almost begging him to close the distance. You were tired of imagining in your head how it would feel to have his lips on yours. Tired of getting so close only to be interrupted. With that he started to lean in and the feeling of deja vu came over. Your eyes shifted from his eyes to his lips and so did his. 

As if Kie could read your thoughts she appeared behind you, not aware of what was going on.

“Y/N!” Kie shouted and the both of you stopped.

“Shit.” JJ let out as he leaned back, taking his hand away from your face. Sadly, this felt like deja vu too. You let out your breath, closing your eyes. ‘This has to be a joke’ you thought to yourself.

You opened your eyes and turned your head toward Kie. She was making her way to you, almost tripping more than once leaving it pretty clear she was drunk.

“I just completely murdered that kook!” she celebrated once she was next to you. JJ looked at her annoyed, but she was too drunk to notice. “But now I need to pee and I need you to go with me please.” she added drawing out the last part.

“Ok, ok. Come on I’ll go with you.” you said standing up and grabbing her hand. You heard JJ puff out like a little angry kid after he’s being forced to share his toy. You leaned over the back of the couch to whisper in his ear. “When i'm back we can continue where we left off.”

“I’m telling you, you should have seen his face! He couldn’t believe he was losing.” Kie was telling you from the other side of the door. She was in the bathroom and you were outside guarding the door just in case. You weren’t listening really, not because you didn’t care, but because your head was stuck replaying over and over again the events from minutes ago, you were so close you could feel his breath against your lips. “He’s cute tho, might make out with him.” she added now catching your attention.

“But he’s a kook!” you told her between laughs. You couldn’t not believe Kiara Carrera said that which only made it funnier.

“I know, I know. But he’s really cute, I’ll just kiss him a couple times and that’s it.” she said between giggles like a little girl. “Do you think I shouldn’t?”

“Kie do as you want! Just don’t tell the pogues, specially JJ.” you warned her.

“Speaking of JJ. Has anything happened there so far?” she said coming out of the bathroom and leaning on the wall next to you.

“Well we were about to when you came.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.” she genuinely apologised and turn so she was looking at you now. “Ok, I’m gonna go find the cute kook who sucks at beer pong. You find JJ. Let’s get some tonight.” With that said she simply turned around and left.

You watched as she exited the house eager to find said kook and laughed. Then you started making your way outside when you felt a hand grab your arm. Your turned around and saw it was Rafe, he was leaning against a wall, had a red cup in one hand and hair a bit messy so you guessed he was drunk.

“Hey little Routledge. Haven’t seen you all night.” he said dragging you to the wall so you were standing next to him and then letting go of your arm.

“I’ve been hanging out with the pogues-” you started saying but were cut off by his lips suddenly crashing into yours.

JJ was waiting for you in the couch, turning around every second to see if you were coming. He was eager to pick up right where you left off. The kiss he had been waiting for since that night earlier that summer was going to happen. He was actually nervous, something very uncommon on him, but he didn’t want to overthink it. Neither of you had put much thought into what would happen after the kiss, both of you too focus longing for the moment when your lips would finally meet.

His anxiety got the best of him so he got up and made his way inside, hoping to find you and once and for all kiss you. As he walked in he say Kie walk by him not even acknowledging him, too concentrated on finding the beer pong guy. He looked at her confused and kept going in, stretching and looking around to find you.

When he finally found you his heart broke. He’d never admit it not even to himself, but his heart broke as he saw you kissing Rafe. It would have been horrible to see you kissing any other guy, but the fact that it was Rafe, the guy that had made his life impossible, someone who he had fought many times and that was sure hated him just because he had less, made it worst.

This night was supposed to be his night, he was going to kiss the girl that had been driving him crazy ever since they met not see her kiss someone else. The sight of his lips on your disgusted and hurted him at the same time. He had to rip his eyes of you, looking down, not believing what was going on.

He wanted to stop watching but couldn’t at the same time, he was in shock. He’s first impulse was to walk up to you, cause a huge scene and beat up Rafe, but it took every bit of self control in him to turn around and leave instead, heartbroken.

Don’t hate me!! Poor JJ, what do you think will happen next? Hope you like this chapter (except for the ending hahaha). I know I haven’t been updating as frequently as I used to I literally don’t have enough hours in the day.

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T (No TW this chapter, but keep in mind the grander story involves major character injury)

Words: 6.7K~

Summary: The first (and with any luck, only) time it happens, he’s almost 16.

Chapter Summary: Aftermath.

This is officially the longest complete SU fic I’ve finished. I’m so proud ;w;

If you read this and enjoy, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos/comments on AO3 as well. Thank you! <3

_____

Chapter 4: The Remembrance

His mind is shrouded by darkness for long enough that in the split instant the curtains finally part, for just a momentary shard of infinity, the mere idea of any world beyond the pitch-black he’s become so accustomed to seems like a farce.

Resultantly, his journey to consciousness is about as labored and exhausting as a backpacking trip across the Great North in the dead of winter.

He’s greeted by flashes of white, first— intermittent, dim. They splash across his inky sky in unreliable patterns, little bursts of static gearing up to pull him out of this all-consuming nothingness and back to reality. Next, a heartbeat. Steady and sure, such a relief to experience that his throat can’t help but constrict in a wave of all-encompassing emotion. (Why is he so relieved to feel something this normal?) Lying somewhere intangibly beyond his awareness, he can hear... water? Waves, he immediately corrects himself. The aching familiarity of waves crashing upon the shore, a sound he’s shared his front yard with for almost his whole life. Elsewhere, the faint scent of herbs and simmering broth delicately pulls on his consciousness, burning through tangled threads of disorientation and confusion and beckoning him awake.

Steven’s eyelids flutter open, thin lines of light streaming through the gaps between his eyelashes.

The moment he does however, the stark actuality of his situation slams into him with a vengeance. His head throbs as memories begin to re-establish themselves like individual puzzle pieces locking into place.

 I was— Dad, and Amethyst... the fountain... empty, and then Pearl had to....

His heart’s pace snaps into overdrive in seconds. Thrashing under his blankets, he manages to kick his arms and torso free so he can rush to sit up. Dizziness assails him as he yanks up the bottom of his pajamas and splays his hand across the smooth, warm surface of that diamond at his core, feeling for cracks, for chips, for—

 Huh. Imagine that.

Steven inhales deep as he attempts to balance out the pace of his breath, blood still pounding in his ears as he delicately traces a shaking index finger around the edge of the central pentagonal facet of his gem, entirely unblemished and whole. There’s no sign of damage, no thin stress fractures left behind. No evidence that it was ever cracked at all, really. For an excruciatingly lengthy moment his brow creases inwards in confusion as he wonders if all this agony was nothing but a stress-induced nightmare. But then again...

He groans, pressing his fingers to one of his throbbing temples as the ambient pain hits him.

Oh stars, everything aches. His head, his limbs, his spine, every square inch of his body feels like he’s been pressed through a meat grinder and ruthlessly spat out on the other side. If that’s not proof that what happened on his mission with Amethyst was real, then he doesn’t know what is. Drowsily, he flops back against his pillow and squeezes his eyelids shut, stubbornly yearning for the comfort and familiarity of sleep-induced unconsciousness. Maybe, just maybe... he can sleep these aches away.

Time passes far too unreliably as he’s laying motionless there, struggling against a hyperactive flood of thoughts to return to his earlier state of rest. Has he been awake for a minute? Half an hour? He has no idea. The only concrete thing he can glean is that he definitely has a headache right now. Maybe even a migraine. He’s still not sure what the difference between those is supposed to be. Is it a ‘squares are rectangles, but rectangles aren’t squares’ sort of scenario? Or are they synonyms? Hmm. Maybe he should ask Dad, he’d probably know. In fact, where is Dad? And how’d he end up in bed in his pajamas, anyways?

He’s honestly relieved when he hears the unmistakable sound of Pearl’s light, precise footsteps climbing the stairs to his room, if only that it gives him a solid excuse to face reality and stop deluding himself with the tragic, unobtainable lie that is peaceful slumber. He lets his eyes flutter open again.

“Hi, Pearl,” he mumbles when she reaches the top step.

She’s carrying a small dinner tray with a steaming bowl of something delicious smelling (the broth he recognized earlier?) and a glass of water perched atop. Meeting his half-alert gaze, her expression lights up with a glow of pleasant surprise.

“Oh, good, you’re up!” she says, a great deal of the stress locked in her shoulders melting away as she crosses the room towards his bedside. “I was just about to wake you myself, if you weren’t already.”

Rubbing away the exhaustion crusted at the corners of his eyes with the joint at the base of his thumb, he watches as Pearl carefully places the tray on the nightstand at his right. With a groan, he bows upwards under his covers, the vertebrae in his back popping and sighing all the while as he stretches. Goodness, he’s not sure his spine has ever felt so stiff and tight. Remind him to never accidentally get hurled against a tree in combat again.

“How... how long was I out?” he asks then, the workaholic part of him already fearing her answer.

Pearl glances towards the ceiling, her brow creasing as she makes the calculation in her head.

“Hmm, I think... around seven hours?“

“What??” he cries, shooting upright in bed with the speed of a spring trap. “Seven hours?! That’s like, the whole day! I had plans!”

She frowns pensively, gesturing widely with her hands as she replies. “Steven, you were cracked and needed time to recover. A hit like that is bound to take a serious toll on any body, hard-light or not.”

His features morphing into a scowl, he slouches back against the wall. That’s a fair point, how disruptive cracks can be for full-Gems as well. It’s not just a matter of Pearl babying him. Even though they healed Amethyst’s fracture fairly quickly, years back, it still took her a few days of rest before she rose to the top of her game again. And as much as he’d love to deny it, right now his whole body honestly feels like it’s been hit head on by a truck at sixty miles per hour. It’s a dull but constant brand of pain he can’t claim he’s ever dealt with before all this mess. That month he shot up almost a foot in height back when he was 14 came close, but even that period of ache was more subtle than this.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says with a heavy sigh, threading his fingers together in his lap.

“Anyways,” she says gently, the reminder of her presence cutting through some of the layers of his pain-induced melancholy, “it’s 5:38 now, just in time for dinner! And I took the liberty of cooking a batch of your favorite soup.”

Unable to help himself, his inner child gasps in sheer joy. He sits up again, slamming his palms to his cheeks as he gushes with excitement. “Chicken and vegetable soup with the tiny star noodles??”

Any lingering crankiness about the percentage of the day wasted dissipates into a fine mist as Pearl picks the tray off the nightstand and passes it into his lap, confirming the identity of his homemade dinner. As he begins to eat— carefully, taking small spoonfuls at first to ensure that his stomach can handle it— his guardian sits at the edge of his bed and provides him updates on the rest of the family’s whereabouts. Apparently Garnet’s still halfway across the galaxy, but should be returning home tomorrow the moment she’s through with her mission. She sends her love, Pearl says. She also texted Connie to let her know what happened, and his friend plans to come over as soon as she can in the morning to spend time with him as he recovers. Meanwhile, Greg left a few minutes before he woke up to hit the store. He’s picking up some new food for the both of them, and intends to sleep downstairs on the couch the next few nights to keep tabs on him.

“He’s been really worried about you,” she admits, reaching out for his hand as if she too frets he might suddenly fade into the ether if she takes her eyes off him for one moment. “Before I told him to step out of the house for some mental rejuvenation, he never left your side.”

Steven responds to her tactile affection with a soft squeeze for her benefit, but quickly lets go to continue eating his soup.

“Well,” he says through a fresh spoonful of food, “‘m fine now, so...” Pause to swallow, the bump of his larynx bobbing in his throat. “So there’s no need to worry anymore.”

“Oh, if only it were that easy,” she comments, a melancholy smile framing her face.

With a sigh, she stands to her feet, smoothing out the edge of the covers where she once sat. Watching this small act, he suddenly wonders if her vast history with deeply troubling experiences like what she had to witness this morning are why she’s so emotionally drawn to tasks such as tidying and repairing; after all, these do allow her space to exert a small degree of control over areas of her life she might otherwise harbor concern or anxiety towards. Huh. He presses his lips into a tight line as he willfully contemplates this concept. Considering his earlier disappointment about how much daylight he’s wasted, (so many business and socialization meetings he’s missing in town today!), perhaps he inherited a portion of his own workaholic tendencies from emulating her throughout his childhood. He dares not follow this rabbit any further, however... dares not ask what he’s distracting himself from.

 Another time, Universe.

Brimming with a renewed sense of purpose, Pearl crosses towards the narrow patio outside the open slider door, her features returning to their neutral, observant state.

“In any case,” she continues as she rests her palm flat against the glass, “please do enjoy the rest of your meal! I’m going to fetch Amethyst from the observatory. She’s been, um... how to say... on Diamond pacifying duty these past few hours, and I’m sure she‘s desperate for a break.”

He offers a sharp grimace in response to this sentiment, knowing from almost two years of firsthand experience that patiently keeping watch over those Gem monarchs is no easy task. “Youch, my condolences. Feel free to send her in, I’d love to see her.”

Pearl nods in confirmation, and then slips out the doorway towards the observatory’s ramp.

He enjoys what little is left of his soup as he waits. Thankfully, his system shows no signs of unrest, which allows him to finish the whole bowl. Good thing, too. He unfortunately recalls losing his breakfast earlier this morning amidst the blunt force of that spiked tail to his stomach, which means he’s had little to no food in him all day. Now, he’s no medical expert, (Connie would likely know the answer thanks to her mom, though), but surely that can’t be good for recovery.

Amidst his better wishes, his thoughts turn to all the social meetings and appointments he’d planned for today. He can’t imagine Pearl knew his itinerary well enough to contact each and every person he’d unintentionally blown off, so that means from all of their perspectives they waited and waited and he simply... never showed up. Like Mayor Nanefua. He was supposed to discuss logistics about Little Homeschool’s eventual opening with her at town hall immediately after the corrupted Gem mission. Peridot. He agreed to meet with her at one of the ancient drop ship sites to assist in de-arming it for safety purposes. Lars. Before all this happened, he was genuinely looking forward to hanging out with Lars and the rest of his Gem gang this afternoon. And because he was reckless and got himself cracked on what should’ve been the most straightforward mission of all time, he let them all down. He groans, slumping backwards until his head clunks against the wall. Ughhh. Stupid, stupid Steven. Now, where on earth’s his phone? He should probably start to clear up this mess.

Steven places his empty bowl on the tray on his nightstand, and begins dutifully searching the tabletop. Before his search can bear any fruit, however, Amethyst bursts into the room, toting one of the handheld diamond communication lines they store in the observatory. (Blessedly, this one comes without self-destruct functionality. Times have sure changed since the daring days when Peridot emphatically called Yellow Diamond a clod.)

“Hey, little man!” she chimes when they meet each other’s glance, her relieved smile admittedly rather infectious. “It’s great to see ya’ up and at ‘em again.”

He offers a bashful laugh, twirling his finger around a short curl at the nape of his neck. “Y-yeah, I’m—“

“Yo, what’s this here, though?” she interjects, bee-lining to his nightstand to stick her nose in his dinner tray. Her face falls the moment she sees inside the bowl, which he’s dutifully scraped empty. “Dude, come on, you didn’t leave any for me?”

“What? Nooo,” he says in mock protest, his voice wavering in laughter. “I already ate it.”

Amethysts reaches forward and gives him a solid noogie, ruffling his hair until its ends are all mussed. Even though his head still hurts he can’t help but giggle, playfully batting her arms away. Hah, typical quartz sibling affection. Gotta love it.

“Nah, I’m just goofin’!” she grins. “You’ve lost enough food today on the forest floor, so I wouldn’t be stealin’ any even if I could.”

“Thank you for that reminder,” he comments with an eye roll, lips pursed as he tries not to muse too hard about the uncomfortable burning sensation associated with that abhorrent experience, least he vomit all over again.

Meanwhile, Amethyst’s high spirits finally hit their crest and begin to break like the distant din of white water waves offshore as she nervously tussles with the crystal octahedron clasped in her palm.

“But, ah... ignoring all that, Blue D said she wanted to talk to you?”

She presses the diamond line into his possession with fettered urgency, the posture of her hands vocalizing an unspoken, underlying message of “oh stars, I’m going insane babysitting these ancient Gem monarchs, please take this from me NOW.” Or at least, that’s what he gleans from it. To be fair, his months of near-constant interaction with them may make him a little biased on the subject.

“Probably best not to keep her waiting. We can catch up later,” she says, giving his fingers a quick squeeze before pulling away.

And with that she hurtles down the stairs into the main living area, ditching him within this empty room with the equivalent of an intergalactic phone that dials direct to who he can only describe as his honorary Gem grandparents. Sure, so maybe most Gems don’t have “children” in the same manner humans do, and maybe the Diamonds themselves have no clear understanding of the classification of human familial relationships, (despite their somewhat touching attempts at learning a few details about Earth culture for his sake), but the quasi-parental role they played in his mother’s life is undeniable from his perspective. So is their “out-of-touch” nature, a common stereotype he sees played up for drama with fictional grandparents on TV shows all the time. He’s not sure how he feels yet that this stereotype rings so true with his own.

Regardless, if Blue wants to talk, then there’s no time like the present. As much as he dreads it, this conversation is bound to happen eventually, of course— and after all their concern, the diamonds more than deserve an update on his well-being. Steven swallows hard, rhythmically tapping his fingers against the crystal as he summons the courage to dial, desperately attempting to not let the sour notes of their last interaction tint the underlying sentiment of this one before it can even begin.

Eventually, he sucks in a deep breath and activates the communicator. The octahedron glows a soft blue, and after a few seconds’ time during which the signal is crossing to the far edge of the galaxy, projects a view screen above its upper point.

The image is fuzzy at first, but sharpens fast once Blue connects from her end. She immediately smiles as she looks upon him, elated emotion running so deep within her that for once, it even manages to reach her eyes.

“Steven! I’m so glad to see that you’re okay,” she begins in full earnesty, clasping her hands together in front of her gem.

He doesn’t respond at first, finding himself too distracted by the scenery, and by the radical juxtaposition of Blue’s current demeanor to her behavior last night. Given the glimpse of White’s empty throne behind her shoulder, he’s pretty sure she’s sitting alone in the ballroom, the sight of which can’t help but stir up unwanted memories of the brief argument they had right before he rushed off to visit home, b-because... oh stars, he was right there, standing right in her presence when she reflexively forced her tears on him.

She wanted to throw him a massive planet-wide ball honoring his sixteenth birthday, wanted to organize a whole coalition of Gems to set up the venues, the entertainment, the food, everything— and when he finally managed to squeeze a word in edgewise between all her unfettered excitement to inform her that he wished to spend his birthday celebrating with his family on Earth instead, she was inconsolable. Crying. Raising her voice. Blaming him of running away from her just like Pink did all those years ago. In the heat of the moment he believed he was simply standing up for himself and his preferences, but fast forward to the present and he can’t help but question the etiquette of his own response more and more as the cruel minutes tick onward. Did he do the right thing, or did he only cause her undue emotional harm? Will Blue Diamond accept his stance moving forward, or will she press the topic again? (After all, he knows her desire to tether him to Homeworld for his birthday is merely a symptom of her greater longing for him to live in the palace with them permanently.) And if she does, is he even allowed to express his opinions when he’s outright walking a tightrope every day he’s in the public eye, single-handedly balancing Gemkind’s delicate political situation in both hands as he slowly but surely advances towards the light on the other side? He must be careful. One wrong move, and everything he’s been working towards for the past year could topple, could cause a disastrous vacuum.

No matter the personal cost, isn’t it his duty as savior of the galaxy to ensure that doesn’t happen?

Gems are depending on him.

And as much as he wants to be selfish and dig his heels into the ground to ensure his own comfort for once in his life, he’s not sure that’s even an option anymore.

Steven grips onto the edge of his bedspread with his free hand, clamping his fingers in tight, reveling in the sensation of skin shifting against downy fabric. It’s just enough to tether him back to the present. To ensure he doesn’t lose himself in the riptides of bitter memory. But by the time his scattered awareness clues in on the fact that he’s probably remained silent for an overly awkward period of time, it’s much too late, and in due consequence, he mentally returns to the scene to find that Blue has kept on talking with or without his conscious attention.

Hah. Serves him right, honestly.

“—was just explaining the details of the disastrous mission you embarked on today,” she says, making small gestures in embellishment of her soft-spoken words, “when your Pearl entered to announce you were awake. I’ll let the others know as soon as I can.”

He swallows, his throat hopelessly dry, as dry as the fine granules of sand scattered across the upper shore on an intensely hot summer’s day.

“I, um—“ he manages, voice wavering. (And quite honestly, feeling stupid for it, in her presence. How many months has he spent perfecting his technique for confidently speaking with the diamonds, again?) He adjusts his hold on the octahedral crystal as he vies to regain some sense of inner balance for the rest of this conversation. “So Yellow and White know too, then?”

Blue leans upon one of the armrests of her throne, releasing a weary sigh. It’s only then that he begins to take note of the residual anxiety blanketed across her form— the almost bruise-like shadows under her eyes appearing deeper than usual, her normally flawless hair now frizzy and unkempt— and if he’s honest, he struggles to understand how he truly feels, knowing that the news of his injury could affect her in such a soul-striking manner. (He often wonders if it’s fair of him, interacting with them in such a detached business-like fashion when, despite their intermittent shortcomings and confusions, they’ve offered him nothing but love and adoration in return since the beginning of era 3.)

“Oh, they were the first to know. Yellow answered the initial call, and White, she was hosting a court session with some of the fusion Gems just next door. I—“ She presses the pad of her thumb to the center facet of her gemstone, pausing in her words a moment to take a sharp inhale. “I only learnt about what nearly happened to you a fragment of a rotation ago, upon my return to the palace.”  

His brows furrow, suddenly realizing the fact that, beyond Blue, the throne room she sits in sounds desolate. Void of all Gems. “Where is everyone, anyways?”

“Distracting themselves, mostly. Last I heard, they’re busy trying to locate any of Pink’s essences that might still remain within our stores, just in case something like this should happen again. Of course I dread the very thought, but...”

Her voice wavers with just the hint of a sob, as she momentarily breaks from her explanation to regain her composure.

(Steven is ashamed to admit that he fails to mask the instinctual tightening of his shoulders as he sees fresh tears brim upon the digitized representation of her visage, even though logically he knows there’s no chance her influence could cross all these light years to weigh down on him here. Not on Earth. Not this far away.)

“...I couldn’t bear to lose another,” she manages, and— after dabbing those teardrops away with her curled fingers— glances back up to meet his gaze with those boundless, melancholy eyes. “You understand, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he says softly, chest growing tighter at the untimely reminder of his mom’s passing, an inseparable facet of his life history he still hasn’t managed to process yet. Perhaps subconscious in nature, his free hand creeps its way under his shirt to rest protectively over his gem. “No one deserves to go through that pain again.”

“Y’know, that’s why I really do wish you’d consider our offer to permanently live with us on Homeworld, in the safety of the palace,” she mentions then, clasping her hands together as if this were a dawning, glorious new idea Steven’s never heard before. “After all, I’m sure none of this would’ve happened under the protection of the guard.”

“Uh, I don’t thi—“

“Can you imagine it, all four diamonds finally reunited under the same stars?” Blue continues, a wide smile passing gracefully across her lips as she waxes on about this indulgent dream of hers. “We could grow you an orchard, so you have as much food as you need, and your pebbles could make you whatever clothes or luxuries you desire. And of course, there’s still the matter of your annual birth celebration to attend to...”

Steven can’t help it. He can’t manage to stop himself, no matter how pathetic he knows his reaction is.

In the light of this topic’s re-emergence, he zones out again. He slips directly into the welcoming embrace of inattention and subconscious thought. His head’s pounding, the pulsing discomfort birthing a brand new species of ache right behind his eyes. It’s miserable, but no more miserable than the idea of the future Blue Diamond has been continuously pushing for the last few months. No more miserable than the idea of being trapped on a planet with individuals who — no matter how hard they try and change their habits for his sake in the present— have all deeply hurt him at various stages of his life. And sure, he knows this is a twisted, selfish sentiment for him to harbor, because of how Pink abandoned them in the past, because of how all three of them have worked so tirelessly these past months to reorganize their entire way of life: to actually see him as his own person instead of a shadow of his mom, to healthily process their own emotions instead of tearing others down, to openly invite fusions and off-colors into the light of society. They’ve genuinely changed for the better. He should be overjoyed about that, shouldn’t he? He should be happy for them.

And yet joy is the last thing he feels when faced with the genuine possibility that he might not be strong enough in his own convictions to stand up to Blue’s desires, that he might one day find himself trapped long-term on a planet that— albeit picturesque in its own unique way— he doesn’t call home, his feet rooted to the dead soil by thorny vines born of his own timidness.

Somehow, in the face of all his fears, he swears he’s transforming into a coward.

He didn’t used to be. The Steven Universe of Era 2 wouldn’t dare stand down from making his opinions heard, would fight for what he believes in until star-shine glistens overhead and all denizens of the galaxy could experience true freedom.

So what the hell is his hang up now? He knows exactly how he wants to respond, so why can’t he simply summon the courage to do it? Why can’t this be as intuitive as summoning his shield, or a bubble?

Why does he have to feel so... so twisted up inside about this?

Steven clenches his teeth then, a sudden spike of residual pain arcing up his spine. Yikes, okay. That doesn’t feel great. Maybe he’s been sitting up for too long, and needs to lay down and rest again.

Or else, maybe after he’s finally done discussing matters with Blue he could...

Wait a minute.

The fingers of his free hand begin to knead the blanket in his lap with a new wave of gusto as he comes to an abrupt revelation about his present condition that could change literally everything.

Stars, that’s perfect. That’s not even a lie! Why on Earth didn’t he think of this before?

He was severely injured this morning. The gemstone at his core outright could’ve shattered, without treatment. Surely any fellow Gem would understand if he says he needs some extra time to fully recover? Perhaps even... the rest of the week? Including his birthday? And on top of that, this extra time would allow him all the privacy he needs to figure out how to confidently and politely decline Blue’s recurring request to live on Homeworld. He’d literally be hitting two targets with one shield!

He nibbles at the inside of his bottom lip as he considers how best to phrase this.

“Hey, Blue?” he calls, immediately garnering her full gaze. “Um—“

Although briefly squirming like an insecure child under those intense azure irises, he stamps down that devilishly tempting urge to go silent and recede into the shadows of this conversation again, wholly compliant to whatever she says. No, he has to speak his mind. No positive change in this relationship will ever occur unless he resolves to stand up for himself, no matter how many reminders it takes. His muscles grow tense as his mouth bobs open once again.

“About the whole birthday celebration thing, I, uh...”

His tongue grows excruciatingly dry in his anxiety, and he’s suddenly struck with the reminder that he never drank the water Pearl left on his dinner tray. Pity, that. He swallows, throat tight and scratchy, and continues.

“I think it’s very kind of you to offer hosting a ball for me on Homeworld, but as of right now, I... I’m very, very sore, and need to stay at my home for a few days to recover from my injury, okay? I promise I’ll visit in person as soon as I’m physically able to,” he rapidly blurts, recognizing a glint of hurt coat Blue’s otherwise attentive expression, “just... after my birthday.”

The diamond lets her weary eyes flutter shut as she takes a moment to soak in everything he just said. Honestly, he can’t think to guess what’s running through her mind right now, and he’s not sure he wants to. Eventually however, she offers an extended sigh, its watercolor edges brushed with an air of melancholy.

“I suppose you’re right,” she replies, offering him a watery smile. “We wouldn’t want to upset your fragile organic system so soon after such an ordeal, now would we? Very well, then. I’ll leave you to rest.”

“Thank you,” he says, his shoulders finally loosening up from their overwrought state.

“We can do something to celebrate when you’re back on Homeworld, just the four of us. In fact, I’ve been talking with White, and we have the perfect idea for a gift!”

Steven gives a small nervous laugh, fiddling with the back of his shirt collar. “Hahah, yeah? Well, I guess I’ll look forward to it. Anyways, uh... thanks for checking in. Bye.”

His heart still pounding despite the overwhelming sense of resolution, his thumb presses the bottom point of the octahedron inwards, ending the call. He gently sets aside the communicator on his nightstand, next to his empty soup bowl. Exhausted, both mentally and physically, he flops backwards on his bed with his arms stretched wide and gives a sharp, celebratory cackle of relief. He... he finally did it! He spoke his mind. He stood up to Blue’s headstrong desires, successfully reasserted his intentions. Set clear boundaries, just like Amethyst said he should. And as his reward, maybe now he can celebrate his birthday at home without guilt hanging like a weighty anvil over his head. Just maybe. He smiles, allowing his sore body to sink right into the plush cocoon of his mattress.

For the first time today, things are finally on the up-and-up.

And so that pattern continues through the rest of the evening. It’s not long after his call with Blue that his dad returns from the store, not even bothering to put the frozen and refrigerated foods in their proper temperature controlled places before bounding upstairs to check on him upon the call of his name. No amount of detailed description could ever hope to intimately capture the full spectrum of sheer elation and love Dad unloads on him in the precious minutes that follow, but by the end of it his father’s sobbing in his arms, exhausted tears staining the collar of his pajama shirt as they clutch to each other with iron clad grips. At this point, the only way Steven can hope to respond is to act as nothing more but a solid rock, if only to reassure him that he’s alive, he’s well, he’s here.

The two of them spend a good chunk of the remaining evening together, watching reruns of Under the Knife at the foot of his bed while nibbling on some cheddar popcorn. It’s rejuvenating, honestly. Stars, is it rejuvenating. Somehow it seems like an eternity since they’ve been able to just... live life together, even in the simplest of ways. They’ll share a dinner here and there when he visits home, sure— a video call from another planet every week or so, yes— but there’s something so fundamentally irreplaceable about physically leaning against your loved ones and spending a tangible amount of time with them that he’s sorely missed over his busy months as Era 3’s ambassador. It’s special. Something to cherish. And something he dearly hopes to engage in with his family and friends a lot more as his immediate duties with the Diamonds wind to a close.

At some point in the middle of their fourth episode, Steven finally finds his phone. It was in his jacket pocket, of course— the new pink wool one he left slung over his desk chair before leaving on the corrupted Gem recovery mission this morning. With that retrieved, he makes sure to text a quick update to all the friends he missed seeing today. Even though logic tells him getting cracked wasn’t entirely his fault, it’s hard to dodge the temptation of guilt. Thankfully though, with the rest of the week now scrubbed entirely free of Homeworld stuff, perhaps he can reschedule a few of these gatherings.  

The rest of his night is uneventful.

The Gems pop in and out to check on him, otherwise attending to their own obligations. Over the comforting backdrop of the television, Dad gushes about the concert he’s organized in town next week for Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Says he’s hopeful it’ll be a sellout. In return, he provides lush descriptions of some of the distant former colonies (now free planets) he’s gotten to visit as part of his political service. There’s some pretty stunning ones, he has to admit. The sightseeing he gets to engage in is a small but shining perk of his current responsibilities.

At ten, the TV is turned off. They hug and part ways, his dad quietly shuffling to the bathroom downstairs to brush his teeth and throw on a sleep shirt.

His headache is almost gone by now, having reduced to nothing more but a faint aura.

He’s standing outside on the porch enjoying some fresh, salty air before bed when Amethyst quietly slides into place alongside him, seeking his affection. She wraps her arms tight around his torso, burying her face against his shoulder. He reciprocates in kind. She doesn’t cry like Dad did, however. She doesn’t even speak. Rather, her purposeful silence ripples through his soul more than any concrete word or phrase ever could. Innately, he knows what she’s asking.

“I’m okay now,” he murmurs softly, blinking away his own budding tears while his expression is still hidden from her. “You healed me, I’m okay.”

“You’re a big liar, y’know that?” she says, voice muffled.

He rolls his eyes, pulling away from her embrace. “Fine, fine. I’m still a little sore. ‘Ya happy?”

Amethyst frowns, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger as she shifts her stance to lounge against the railing. “I’d be happier if none of that ever happened in the first place.”

Her frank statement hangs amidst the wind like a tattered flag upon an abandoned battlefield. Steven swallows, the resulting lump settling uneven in his throat.

(For a second he almost feels sick again, a surge of lingering discomfort churning at his core.)

“Yeah...” he sighs, staring off into the dim ocean horizon and forcing himself to acknowledge her unfortunate experience with this type of injury. “Yeah. I’m sorry if that brought back any bad memories for you.”

She scoffs. “Ch’yeah, so... I’m not gonna say it didn’t suck, but. It’s over now, y’know? I’ll deal. You don’t have to apologize for it, or anything.”

Long pause. His quartz sibling threads her fingers together as she leans against the chipping wood, silently tussling with herself under the ebbing solidarity of the ocean tides. A significant stretch of time passes between them before she finally takes it upon herself to speak again.

“‘S’not like it was your fault, anyways.”

His chest tightens upon recognition of that familiar self-blame inherent in her tone. If he were a stronger, better person, he might take it upon himself to chip away at the walls of that insecurity with love and reassurance, to be the kind, encouraging Steven he used to be. But he’s tired, and he’s lived long enough to acknowledge by now that perfectly formed words can’t fix everything. Not immediately, at least. People are complicated. He’s complicated. And sometimes the best one can manage is to simply act as a supportive companion to another.

Starlight glittering overhead, and the cool coastal breeze tussling at their hair, he joins Amethyst at the balcony and rests his cheek on her shoulder just like he used to do when he was little. Together, enveloped in a tension-filled silence, they watch the waves together. Watch the gulls pick at old food scraps further up shore, closer to the edge of the cliffs.

“Hey, what kind of gem was it, by the way?” he asks eventually. “You never said.”

“Ughhh,” she groans, dropping her head against the wood with a soft clunk. “A dang sapphire. Literally no wonder why she was so slippery!”

Steven can’t help the bubble of oddly placed glee that rises within him upon her answer. He cracks a dopey grin, shaking his head at himself. A snicker passes his lips.

A sapphire. Of course it was a sapphire. Gosh, isn’t that sweet, sweet vindication.

Her brow creases in confusion. “What?”

Perhaps finally cracking under months of accumulated stress, he breaks into peels of low laughter.

“What is it? Dude, ya’ gotta tell meeee!” she cries, playfully rustling at his arm as he doubles over against the railing, clutching his sides as he wrests to catch his breath and respond.

“No, it’s- it’s not even funny,” he says, pushing past the final surge and gaining some sense of composure again. “I just... my guess was spot-on. I’ve never seen a corrupted sapphire, before that.” His demeanor falls sober in a snap, wholly humbled by the abrupt reminder of the vital task waiting in his future, a task that— alongside the Diamonds’ bottled essences— only he can hope to see through. “I hope she’ll be okay, once she’s healed. I’m not even gonna mention what happened, honestly.”

Amethyst visibly pales at his allusion to the incident this morning. To ‘what happened.’ Hah. As if cushioning the truth in vague, non-specific language could at all erase the stark reality of what he went through. Sometimes he really is daft.

“Steven, I—“ she swallows hard, nibbling at her knuckles for a moment as she contemplates the greater details of whatever seems to be assailing her mind. “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, okay? But... I have to at least ask. Do you, like... remember anything?”

He frowns, avoiding her direct gaze as he moves to lean against the balcony, overlooking the blustery shoreline.

“What, you mean about... everything after the fight? And at the, ah... at the fountain, yeah?”

Amethyst offers a hesitant nod, her eyes glossed with marked worry. Peering at the pinprick constellations above as he reflects on this question, Steven experimentally nudges scattered fragments of memory closer together, the seconds and minutes of that experience progressively locking into place until—

The world bends and splinters within his sight, his dad and Amethyst’s tear-stricken faces phasing into each other as they sink ever further into the thickets of their fearful despair. He’s prone in their hold, hard light pulsing rampant through his veins, unregulated, unrestrained, stretching out from his broken gemstone like clawing, yearning fingers... his muscles taut at one moment and pliable at the next, wholly unable to exert control over his body as his every limb jitters and jerks, unable to staunch his hoarse sobs as he soaks in the cold, terrifying static of it all, and now his words are jumbled and backwards, and deep within he knows this with an intense clarity but he can’t help it, he can’t fix it, he can barely even think, he ca—

Steven inhales evenly, purposefully not allowing his expression to flash even a minuscule micro-expression of residual fear. After all, it’s Era 3. Everyone’s supposed to find happiness and fulfillment now, which can’t happen when people are stuck dwelling on their shadowed past. Thus, Amethyst doesn’t need to be burdened with the knowledge of what he does or doesn’t know. That’s his problem to shoulder, his boulder to carry.

And he refuses to force anyone else to carry the weight of his past for him. He refuses to become like Blue, still stuck in a tempestuous pattern of pushing her emotions on everyone around her and making them feel like crap.

Perhaps it’s foolish, but he sorely wants to believe he’s better than her.

“Nope,” he says, feigning an unparalleled air of confidence as he shakes his head to confirm the negative. “Can’t remember a thing.”

[shadowdianne]

A/N: -Quietly leaves these here.- Given what I’m writing at the moment I’m still on the fantasy side of things but not entirely about this particular topic so I’m having a blast whenever I think of these little snippets. This is still done in pair with a friend that asked me to follow her throughout the month as we both wrote small snippets of the word prompts. The rules being hardly any editing and more of a string of consciousness workshop than anything else.

They do not follow a particular logic but some are interconnected. Somewhat. Leaving the link for the first batch in case anyone is feeling curious.

14.-Cardinal

The virtues and sins are patiently listed down, just below the saints that you are supposed to follow blindly whenever you cross the portal between the world outside and what lies inside. You usually read up on the names with contrite expression, hoping others would understand your worry for devotion. There is very little to say to those who consider both penance and reward as unavoidable truths that can be condensed so neatly on written stone. Never pay any mind to the scorch marks around each and every pew, they seem to say with those unblinking eyes. The lines that have been there ever since the building was found amidst a set of others on the old part of town after all; why should they pay them any mind?

15.-Entrance

The door creaked as the boy made its way inside, worn boots scuffing against the panels so old they were half-covered in cobwebs so thick they could form entire architectures. He tried his hardest not to damage any of it, worried of spiders that would crawl their way up his bedroom window, find his eyes and ears, and made their way inside of him. It was no use, however, so rich they had grown, and so he mumbled a quiet prayer to the ground that surrounded him before making its way further into the foyer, leaving behind the main entrance and finding its way to the old silo in where the bones, yellowed by time, awaited him with the echo of a murmur growing ever-present with every step he took.

16.-Bell

The metal has long ago been corroded and left to rot, the wooden beams that held the structure together have been eaten or destroyed by both fire and wind but there’s still a firm layer of oil and grease around it, from the times in where it was taken care of, from the times in where its sound marked time and days and nights. They look up towards it, expecting almost to see it, moving, silent, silent, until a single note resonated through them all. It never came, of course, neither the sound of the movement: the old bell had long ago ceased to sound. Why then, the youngest of them would whisper, sometimes it almost seemed as if they called for them? Names like whispers through the nighttime sky.

17.-Book

The process of binding can take up hours; patience is a virtue that one needs to solidify within one self before even trying to accomplish anything with the pages that threaten to wrinkle and tear without the protective barrier the binding provides. The master is always gentle when he binds, always attentive, and well-mannered. There’s a fervor to his words, however, a particular tremor if one looks well enough. As if the process would, indeed, be sacred. The apprentices are always bored when he explains the process, however, promising that they would be slow, soft, but when the time comes, neither of them is capable of doing it like the master requires. And so, another book finds its bindings and another apprentice is asked for.

18.-Candle

The wax melted so very slowly that if it wasn’t because she kept an eye on it, she would have never seen how it started to disappear, the earth below sipping on the molten liquid as time passed. She knew she needed to go back; others would probably start to get worried if she didn’t, of course, but she had been tasked with the fire the candle represented and hold, she merely needed to wait. The door would be closing as soon as the last drop was consumed, but she still had time, did she not? Time for a little more waiting, for a little more, just a little more. She didn’t even realize when she fell asleep.

19.-Nonsense

Fragment disappoint finance engine finger limited allocation man encourage mask reduction interest army comedy grand height release referee flag shake convenience reverse spill delete cold plagiarize smile instruction mud terrify raw afford stimulation sigh fate guideline haunt sentiment track hip training export midnight moral win muscle layer intention stomach train desperate

20.-Wizened

The flowers dried as the adventurer walked, the cold starting to bit into his skin and, not for the first time, he found himself thinking back to the old woman’s cottage, next to the silo, he had passed last while trying to get any food for the path that awaited him. She had been kind, stubborn, even, while trying to sell him a bag even if he had refused it. “I have a backpack.” He had said, and the old woman had narrowed her eyes, her wizened face moving as she whispered something in a language he had been unable to follow; accent so thick it didn’t seem like any dialect he had tried to learn previous to his travel. The strap of his backpack had frozen some hours ago, his belongings scattered, and the decision of needing to pick the bare essentials one he hadn’t made lightly. He now wondered if she had known.

She had, of course, but she would never tell.

21.-Feline

The cat purrs, the sound of quietly bubbling soup filling the silences the creature leaves, the sound of wood against wood, of brushing brooms against hard soil a cacophony that feels welcoming even when eyes are slow to open, senses not quite still there to return. Mouth feels like ashes and sleep and stagnant water about to be flushed down. There’s smoke somewhere, an open flame, a set of rosemary drying to it, some tea that is not quite as tangy as you would remember, some runes written on the insides of your wrists. The cat is atop your lap, eyes closed, tail coiled around your fingers as you try to move for your mind only to fall back, back to a dream that is not yours to begin with. You try to say it to the first figure you come across, made out of ink and letters written by bards so far away from you their voices are echoes of odes that you would never get to listen to. The shadow does not answer, for it is unable to. The cat keeps on purring.

22.-Musical [Bonus points if you know the creature this is based from]

They chant, always chant, as you follow their voices through the bushes and the undergrowth of the forests that are closer to home, they always smile as your eyes follow the trickle of rivers that weren’t there the day before. Their hair is always long and limpid around their forms and they kept on brushing it as you move closer and closer still. Their feet are of those of the duck, you would later say to those around you with eyes glazed by the water, a portion of your soul gone like the wind that carries on the tune of their throats. They look at you as if mad, but they nod, either way, hoping for your own voice to stop singing a tune that is for the dead.

23.-Wicked

And the treatise was broken, and the kingdom fell for the souls of those who inhabited to transform and twist and reform into something that wasn’t human any longer as the mountains kept on growing, the blue of their color transforming into grey and then into green as they formed new hills, smaller in height than what it had been before. Eroded, would the scholars say, by time. And so, the grass grew longer and greener and the faults of those who had lived grew distant in time as their bodies fed the rivers and the trees, the paths once taken by wolves now devoured by ivy and loneliness. And the historians spoke of witches and kings and magic that had been once been thought true as others would say that wicked was just a form of the energy the land took in order to survive. But she never quite believed in that, not when time came to be precious, imperfect, as every clock began a new tune, the moon rising bloody and blue and purple and yellow, marked by the hexes once given to the land and soil she now lived and breathed.

[seagreen-meets-grey]

When Lightning Strikes Ch. 15

When your life is nothing but a cloudless sky, lightning can come and strike you so unexpectedly, you won’t even know what hit you.

Or: When Hiccup and Astrid meet, it is as if lightning strikes.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 16] [Chapter 17] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19] [Chapter 20]

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

_______________

The rain splattering against the window glass shook Hiccup out of his stupor. Lips still tingling where they had just so brushed against hers, he hurried through the apartment and onto the balcony where the wind was blowing enough rain under the roof that it hit most of his clothes. Resigned, he picked up the drying rack and maneuvered it into the living room. It wasn’t like any of the clothes had already dried, anyway. Besides, this had distracted him for at least two minutes from his brain’s attempt at understanding what had happened in the last hour.

A knot was forming in his stomach and it grew limbs, spreading into his chest, knocking against his ribs for attention. “Oh, bud. What a mess, huh.” Toothless looked up from his nap on the couch, blinking at Hiccup before laying his eyes on the newest accessory in the room. A few socks were still swinging slightly from earlier momentum and he swiped at them with his paw. Hiccup picked him up and flopped onto the couch himself, putting the cat down on his stomach where it immediately lay down and eyed him expectantly.

“This is not going to end well. We can’t pretend anymore that everything’s fine. And I can’t still wait for her to get more clarity and maybe eventually come around, can I?” Toothless started licking his paw. “Yeah, yeah. I know, bud.” He sighed. “No more waiting, no more guessing, no more holding out. She’s on her way home right now. She’ll want to save her marriage. And I can’t stand between her and a happy life now, right?” The cat didn’t answer, only the voice of a radio host crossed the distance between him and the kitchen. He ran his hand over the sleek black fur until the sound of purring provided the right background noise for his thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel and it doesn’t matter if she ever felt something for me-“, he allowed himself a moment of daydreaming, “because she has a husband, and yeah, they need to work through some issues, but if she wants to do that, then I want to support her decision. I don’t want to, but then again, I do. Toothless, does that make sense?” The cat’s ears perked up at the sound of its name. Hiccup looked his bud in the eyes, searching for an answer to his dilemma. “I guess, if you love somebody, you want them to be happy, even if it means you leave empty-handed and with a life’s worth of heartache.”

For a while, he watched the gray sky through the living room windows, stroking his cat’s back. The radio host was replaced by ads, then music, briefly interrupted by a traffic report. Some confused Toyota driver was going the wrong way. Or maybe they were going the right way, they just picked the wrong lane. Or the wrong way on the right lane. Did that make sense? What was the right way to go here? Was he doing the right thing? Was there even a right lane to pick?

He groaned and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. The purring stopped. Soon enough, the weight on his stomach disappeared when Toothless decided he’d had enough of Hiccup’s drama. “You’re right, bud. Can’t keep doing this forever.” He lifted himself up with a heavy heart trying to pull him back down. But there was no use.

On his way out, he grabbed only his phone and an umbrella. The air had cooled significantly, raising goosebumps on his skin. Maybe he should have brought a jacket. He considered going back inside to get one, but the option of staying there and waiting for the world to fix itself was too tempting, so he turned around and started walking down the street. He had to end this.

_______________

She had to end this. The entire ride home, she drummed her fingers on the wheel, bounced her unoccupied leg up and down, shifted on her seat with restless energy at every traffic light, every intersection, every speed limit sign. She was both anxious and determined. There had never been a point in her life where she’d been more sure about anything. Least of all on her actual wedding day, as she could finally admit with a feeling of sweet relief.

When she turned her key in the door to the apartment, however, her hands felt like lead. While she’d come clean about her feelings to herself, she had yet to do it in front of someone else, someone who deserved to know it probably the most. Someone whose voice carried over from the living room.

Quietly closing the door behind her, she took off shoes and still damp jacket like she’d done for almost every day for the past year and a half. Her keys jingled and she closed her fist around them in order to smother the sound. Why she didn’t want him to know she was here was beyond her, but the second she decided on announcing her presence, someone else beat her to the chase.

Momentarily perplexed, she halted in her step towards the living room, trying to place the male voice chattering away, prompting a chuckle from Eret. Her curiosity whacked her anxiety over the head and she turned the corner to see who it was.

The man sitting next to Eret on the couch was unfamiliar to her. Tall, broad shoulders, muscles, casually-styled sandy hair. Crossed legs, one arm draped over the back of the couch, the other holding a beer, comfortable. He was the first to notice her, pausing mid-sentence to curiously raise his eyebrows in her direction. His eyes were the color of liquid chocolate, at least 70% cocoa. He was handsome, with a pleasant, welcoming smile. Eret followed his eyes and flinched.

Astrid raised a hand in greeting, uncertain about what to do. This other person in the apartment disrupted her plan. “Hi.”

“Hi, there.” The man waved back, looking at Eret expectantly, waiting for an introduction.

Eret cleared his throat, a nervous tilt in his smile. “Um, this is Astrid, my wife. Astrid… This is Timothy.” She racked her brain when that name rung a bell somewhere in the back of her mind, especially as he sent her a meaningful look. “My coworker. The one I told you about.”

“Oh,” she said. Then something clicked. “Oh.” The coworker he’d told her about. Repeatedly. The one she’d mistook for his mistress. Well, fuck, kill her now.

“Nice to meet you, hon.” When she frowned at that nickname, he was quick to put his hands up in an apologetic manner. “Sorry, that probably came out wrong. It’s just what I call everyone.” He slapped a hand on Eret’s knee. “Even this chap here.”

Eret copied the gesture. “And our boss.” The two men shared a laugh and Astrid’s eyes flitted back and forth between them, feeling like an outsider to a deeper inside joke. Their laughter subsided and they seemed to remember she was still in the room. “Do you… want to sit?” Eret asked hesitantly, conveying the same uneasiness she felt. She simply cut to the chase.

“We need to talk.”

Fortunately, Timothy understood his cue. “Well, hons,” he announced, drinking the rest of his beer and standing up from the couch, “I guess it’s time for me to hit the road. Gotta beat that Sunday traffic.” He laughed at his own joke when no one else did, not even his hon chap Eret, whose mood had suddenly turned serious.

They said goodbye to Timothy and when the door closed behind him, Eret discarded of the empty beer bottles and they sat in silence on separate ends of the couch for a few minutes. Astrid tried to sort through everything they needed to cover in this conversation, but she didn’t know where to begin, although it was all in a way connected. But what probably made her anxious the most was how to go on from there. She didn’t want to end this day with another fight, didn’t want to lose her closest friend in the aftermath of this whole mess. No more yelling and accusing, that’s what Hiccup had advised.

“So… Timothy, huh,” she made the first step, stilted lighthearted tone sounding absolutely misplaced to her ears.

But Eret gladly jumped onto the first wooden plank. In order to get to the other side of this chasm, they would have to build the bridge together. “Yeah. Tim is…”

“Your coworker,” she finished. “And not your mistress.” She didn’t avert her eyes as she said it, owning up to her mistake.

“Not my… No. But what I told you about Dana is true. She tried to seduce me. Several times, actually, even though I told her I’m married and not interested.” The old monster scratched at her abdomen, but she refused to pay attention to it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked instead, keeping her voice as level as possible, and received the same effort from Eret.

“I tried to, but you wouldn’t hear me out! Besides, I could handle her. It didn’t mean anything to me. And with the way you accused me of cheating, I was glad I hadn’t told you earlier.”

She felt the words like a punch to the gut. “Well, if you had told me earlier, then maybe I wouldn’t have gotten so suspicious when you kept talking about your coworker every other minute of the day like a teenager gushing about his crush!” He winced and averted his face. She’d somehow struck a nerve there, which made her guilt explode from where it was nesting inside her ribcage. Throwing her hands up in the air, she jumped up and released it all with one loud yell. “GAH, I’M SORRY!”

He still wouldn’t look at her. “Okay.”

“What do you mean – okay?!” She started pacing through the room. “I’m hurt you didn’t share the fact with me that someone came onto you several times – which is harassment, by the way – and then I rubbed it in by accusing you of committing to it! I’m fucking sorry, Eret!” She kicked at the couch and a flash of pain shot through her toes. Well, so much for no yelling.

“Yeah.” The couch table was still more interesting than her. “That’s why Tim was here. We were discussing how to report Dana without her claiming harassment and sexism herself.”

Astrid put her hands on her hips, taking stance. “Just say the word and I’m gonna knock her fucking skull in.”

He huffed. “I can handle it.”

“You can han– Eret, I’m not some bozo offering you tips on selling your car! I know I should have let you speak yesterday when you called and I’m sorry I didn’t. I couldn’t handle it. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’ve been running from confrontations for quite a while. And will you please just look at me?!”

Jaw clenched, he finally met her gaze, and for the second time that day, she was met with a look in someone’s eyes she wasn’t expecting. She’d prepared herself for fury, for a stubborn wall of fire, for a loaded canon – but not for hurt, guilt, insecurity. Her anger deflated.

“I know.” He was almost whispering. “I should know. I should know that I can always count on you.”

“You should know?” The implication wasn’t lost on her and it stung like a hundred bees. “Why do you think you can’t count on me?”

“I… I didn’t mean that. I know you’d do anything. It’s just that…” He got on his feet, pulling at his short ponytail, voice rising. “Every time you become distant, and we fight, and you go on your solo trips, it’s like there’s a whole world out there for you that I’m not a part of. Over time, that feeling festers, and it makes me wonder.” He paused, piercing her with a look that demanded only the truth. “There’s someone else, isn’t there.” She blinked, sucker-punched to the lungs, staring back at him, shock evident on her face, judging by his grave nod. “So there is.”

“I…” This was not how she’d imagined this topic to be broached. Her first instinct was to tell him that nothing happened, but as of this afternoon, that would be a lie. “It’s complicated.”

Eret shook his head disappointingly, a gesture that irked her a lot. “Accusing me of cheating and then…”

“I didn’t cheat on you!” He regarded her with poisonous doubt, frown deepening. No more running. “Yes, I have feelings for someone else! But it’s not like I planned so, and it’s not like I didn’t try to fight it, and I certainly didn’t do it on purpose!”

“But still you didn’t talk about it with your husband!”

“Like that’s something you do!” The guilt, the frustration, it all came together in a giant wave, pressing every emotion out of her chest with the volume of a tsunami. “Like you just go to your spouse, the one you promised to love until death, the one you made a fucking huge commitment to for the rest of your life, you just go up to them and say hey, guess what, I’m in love with someone else, what do you think of that, do you want potatoes or rice for dinner?!” She sucked air into her lungs with a sharp, shaky breath, not slowing down, even as her eyes began to sting. “This is not something you do, it’s not something you fucking do, just like that, expecting not to make everything worse, and admitting that the biggest decision I ever made in my entire life led to a big! Fucking! Failure!”

A hot tear ran down her cheek and when she wiped it away, more followed, until she was quietly sobbing, shoulders shaking as she refused to break down completely. She felt raw and exposed, exhausted after her emotional outburst. Eret said nothing for a long minute. Then he sunk back onto the couch and put his head in his hands, fingers raking through his dark hair, messing it up until most of it had escaped the ponytail.

“I need a drink,” she mumbled and walked into the kitchen. Eyeing the bottle of wine on the shelf, she opted for some peppermint tea. Calming, refreshing, and didn’t have to cool in the fridge first. Waiting for the kettle to boil, she took a deep breath. Slowly, the shaking subsided and the tears stopped running. She wiped her hand over her swollen eyes and blew her nose on a paper towel.

When the water boiled, she grabbed her favorite mug from the cupboard and fished the last tea bag from the box. She let it steep for a few minutes, regaining her composure, before she returned to the living room. Leaning against the bookcase opposite to the couch, mindful of the stack of beautifully illustrated books behind her, she carefully took a sip, relishing the feeling of hot tea calming her nerves. Eret was still hunched over, head in his hands.

“I was gushing about my crush,” he finally said, voice low and brittle, laden with the effort of finding the courage to get the words out.

She sniffed, unsure if she’d heard him right. “What?”

“I… have feelings for someone else, too.”

It took her embarrassingly long to connect the dots. “Huh.” She sat down next to him, processing the information. In a strange way, it made sense. She couldn’t explain it, but it just felt… It felt like Eret. And it also explained all the knee touching from earlier. “Oh man,” she sighed. “We’re a mess, huh.”

He tentatively glanced up at her. She noticed the little pools of tears that had formed in his eyes and she realized he’d been as afraid to tell her about his feelings as she’d been, probably even more so. Eret had always been so sure about himself and his place in the world, something that had attracted her to him in the first place. Discovering this new side of himself, the confusion, the fear of people’s reaction, her reaction – she couldn’t exactly say she could relate. Meeting his worried expression, she gave him a reassuring smile and reached for his hand. His sigh of relief cut straight through her heart, and when he accepted her hand and returned her light squeeze, it felt like companionship.

“So… Timothy, huh,” she repeated her earlier line, eliciting a small shaky laugh from Eret. He sat up and leaned back against the cushions, wiping a hand over his face.

“Yeah… He’s great.” He turned to her with an earnest face. “I’m sorry. You’re right, this is a mess.”

“Well, I’m glad we agree on something for once.”

For a while, they just sat there holding hands in companiable silence, feeling closer than they had in a very long time, the only sound an occasional slurping of tea.

“I know I should have asked this sooner,” she finally said, “but do you want to talk about it?”

He seemed to be wrestling with himself for a moment and she tried her best to not feel offended by his hesitation. She wasn’t any better, after all. “I don’t really know what to say. One day I’m a heterosexual fella going to bed with his wife, the next I’m thinking about all the different ways I wanted to touch my new coworker. The rest just spiraled from there.”

“When did that happen?”

“About a year ago,” he confessed, carefully regarding her reaction.

“Okay, so, do you know if Timothy’s into men?”

“Uh yes, very openly so, he carries his cute little rainbow flag everywhere and constantly complains to me about the horrible guys he’s dated.”

“Good, that’s good.” He curiously raised his eyebrows at the scheming look on her face. “Have you talked to him about your sexuality?”

“No, I haven’t told anyone, and how are you so okay with this?”

Now she really did feel offended, putting the empty mug on the couch table with a clank. “Excuse me? My best friend tells me he likes dicks and he asks me if I’m okay with it?!”

“Your best friend is also your husband. And that’s not what I meant. You’re weirdly calm about the fact that I’ve been emotionally cheating on you for months on end.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Sorry, did you not hear me yelling about my feelings for another man back there? You know, right before I burst into tears? We’re in the same boat here, buddy.”

He snorted. “I don’t know if I like this sarcasm on you.”

“It may have rubbed off on me from someone else,” she admitted.

“Right. Your someone else.”

“Hmm…” She bit her lip. “I really am sorry. I thought about telling you, but I never did, because I had this stupid notion in my head that telling you would mean I failed at something. Namely, making the right decision when I married you.”

“That… No, that makes sense. Sounds like Astrid to me.”

“But was I right?” she asked uncertainly. “Does this mean I failed?”

“Well… You said earlier – or better, you yelled – that your decision led to big failure. Do you really think that’s what this is? A big, fucking, failed marriage?”

Now that she heard him say it, she didn’t need to contemplate much. “Yes and no? I don’t regret marrying you. I love you, but not the way I used to. You’re my closest friend and incredibly important to me, and I will always treasure our time together, past and present. But… That is all I can give you.”

An enormous weight disappeared from her chest when she said it out loud and when Eret nodded and agreed, “I feel the same… I think.” He scratched his head. “No, I’m sure that’s what it is. And I’m also one hundred percent sure I was very into you, which makes me at least bisexual, doesn’t it?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Sexuality can be fluid, right? So who knows what nuance of sexuality you are and what you’ll be next week. Anyway, I wouldn’t be mad at you if you decided you’ve always been gay. Would it feel weird to hear you tell me you never actually loved me? Probably. Would I get hung up on it, knowing you cared about me deeply in a platonic way? Fucking hell not.”

Eret grinned in a relieved and almost proud way. “I’m glad you’re my friend, Hofferson.”

“Me too.” She took a deep breath. “So, does that mean…”

“That this is over?” he completed her sentence and gestured between them, an understanding passing between them. “Yes, I would say so.”

Relief washed over her, combined with a bit of sadness, then peace, and not one flicker of doubt. She leaned into her best friend, her soon-to-be ex-husband, and hugged him tightly for a long minute.

When they pulled away, the shadows in the room had grown longer, announcing the imminent departure of the sun. Soon the horizon would light up colorfully, ending the day with a temporary, ever-changing painting that put every self-respecting lava lamp to shame. Realizing how late it already was, Astrid couldn’t believe how much time had passed since she’d had lunch with Hiccup, and how long she’d talked with Eret.

“Full disclosure, though,” she said while getting up to switch on the light, “last week I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.” Eret blinked a couple times. “Turns out it had just been a mixture of too much emotional stress and chocolate cake that made me take it.”

“Chocolate cake,” he repeated a bit dumbfounded, following her as she carried her empty cup into the kitchen.

“Yeah, I tried to bake the perfect cake and the one I ate was way too sweet.”

“The one you– Did you eat an entire chocolate cake by yourself? While your favorite pool was closed?”

“Oh, I’m glad that’s the part you choose to focus on.”

He sat down at the kitchen table and absentmindedly mimed stroking an invisible beard, a habit he’d picked up when he’d grown an absolutely hideous goatee in college. “I don’t know, I’m still processing it. Were you… sad? Okay? I don’t know what to say here.”

“I was glad. You know I want kids one day, but not like this.”

He nodded. “Probably best. Not that I wouldn’t have been happy regardless – wait, was it even mine?”

“The baby that doesn’t exist?” she scowled at him. “Yes, of course it would have been yours, you muttonhead!”

Holding his hands up in surrender, he believed her. “Alright, alright. I don’t know, could have been your secret lover.” Her scowl deepened and he quickly continued. “But you’re right. It’s better this way.”

“Good, glad we agree. Now will you please stop with the non-existent beard? You look ridiculous.”

“Tim thinks it’s funny.”

That brought the scheming look back on her face. “Seems to me like he’s interested in you. Now that you’re single, you should ask him out.”

A nervous chuckle escaped him and he squirmed a little in his seat. “I don’t know. I just agreed on a divorce.”

“That’s not the problem. You’ve wanted to do it for a long time. You’re a chicken.”

“I’m just being considerate of you–“

“Bullshit. You’re a chicken.”

With a groan, he frowned at her. “You’re quite a handful sometimes, do you know that?”

“Chicken,” she sang, finding joy in pushing his buttons without another fight looming on the horizon. She’d missed her friend and she finally had him back.

“Okay, fine! I haven’t had to ask anyone out since you. I don’t know how to flirt anymore.”

She snorted. “Seriously?” Sitting down next to him, she draped one hand behind him over the chair, shuffled closer and placed the other on his knee, regarding him from beneath her eyelashes. “Are you sure about that, hon?” He jokingly pushed her away, tipping her chair a little. “I think you were doing just fine earlier. Just text him that you want to go out for beer and tell him what happened. Then you can pepper in that you want his dick and voilà, you got yourself a hot date.”

“Yeah, yeah. I think I’m just gonna start with the beer.” He fished his phone out of his pocket and began to type before he paused and looked at her in earnest. “I feel good about this. How about you?”

Something told her he wasn’t just talking about asking out his crush. “Yes, absolutely. This feels right.”

With a content nod, he continued typing and hesitated just a second before sending his message. “Phew, done.” Another thought seemed to come to his mind. “Err, by the way, you’re not my dictator.”

“Huh?”

“Yesterday on the phone, I called you a dictator. That’s not true.”

“Yeah, we both said pretty mean things in the past. Things we didn’t actually mean and are sorry for.” Hiccup would be proud of her. She’d stopped running from an important confrontation, she’d talked about her feelings, she’d let Eret speak without accusing him of stuff, and she’d only yelled a little. It felt good. She wanted to tell him. Where was her phone?

“Apology accepted and returned. Great, now that we settled that, you still haven’t told me about the other guy.” He cracked his knuckles, receiving an unimpressed look. “I want to know who will pay part of the divorce.”

She punched his biceps. “He’s not going to pay shit, you cocky bastard.”

Rubbing the now sore spot on his arm, he shrugged and earned himself an eyeroll. “Worth a try.”

Seemed like calling Hiccup had to wait a little. But after waiting for so long to tell him about her feelings for him, what were a few minutes more? It wasn’t like he was going anywhere.

“Okay… Um. Do you remember Dagur’s 30th birthday party?” she started.

Eret chuckled. “Eh, partially. It was a wild night.”

“But do you remember Hiccup?”

He searched his memory for a second. “Heather’s ex? The skinny guy with the jawline?”

“Yes. He was at the party.” Now came the part that was hard to tell the guy that she’d been engaged to back then. “I will not call it fate or destiny or anything at first sight. But… Do you remember when you claimed you could repair the oven by yourself and were almost electrocuted?”

Not sure where this was going, and with the remnants of a hurt ego in his posture, Eret nodded. “Yeah?”

“Well, meeting Hiccup was like that, but without the pain. I felt like I was the current. And the funniest thing is, the moment I saw him, the lightning storm started outside.”

“Oh yeah,” he mumbled. “I remember there being rain.”

Encouraged by his lack of judgement so far, she continued. “I didn’t understand my sudden attraction to him at first, I just knew that it was strong and it only grew stronger over time, even though I only met him a couple times after that. That one time when we were out doing wedding chores, remember?”

After a minute of contemplation, he nodded. “When you bought that book that he painted pictures for and were super excited about it.”

She rolled her eyes. “He didn’t paint pictures for it, he illustrated the cover. And it was absolutely gorgeous!”

“So, he did paint pictures for it.”

“Oh, shut up. You know what I mean.”

He shrugged, not understanding what the big deal was. But he waved at her to continue.

“I thought it was just a phase and I didn’t want to bother you with it and dampen your mood. You were so happy and looking forward to our wedding and I didn’t want to ruin that by telling you something that would have been over just a few weeks later, anyway. Only that it wasn’t a phase. And the longer I waited, the worse it got.” Her fingers found a lose thread on the tablecloth and she absentmindedly started playing with it. “I was in denial about it. That was the only way for me to keep my sanity the closer we came to our wedding day. In the end, I decided to go through with the wedding because I didn’t want to just throw away everything we built together.”

“Did…” He gulped. “Did anything ever happen between you back then?”

She shook her head. “No. He came to the party, though. We talked outside for a while and I invited him in, as a friend. But he said we shouldn’t see each other anymore. Looking back, that was probably for the best, no matter how much it hurt, because the moment I saw him again a week ago, it all came back in an instant. Not that it was ever truly gone.”

A spark of understanding flashed up in Eret’s eyes. “Is that why you acted so weird from time to time? Distant, I mean?”

“Yeah, that was part of the reason. I just… I felt like something was missing from my life. That’s why I went on my solo trips. To try and find myself, I guess. It helped in the moment, but not in the long run.”

He looked bashful. “And I thought you were going on vacations with your lover.”

Astrid discovered that being on the other side of such an accusation didn’t hurt any differently than making the accusation herself. “I would never do that! I may have kept important feelings from you, but I would never cheat!”

“Me neither.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

She crossed her arms. “Yes! I only accused you of it because I wanted a reason to escape a relationship that didn’t make me happy anymore. I know I should have just talked to you earlier. We already settled that.”

“Okay.” He nudged her with his foot. “Go on.”

“Like I said, I ran into him last week. I thought I could just be friends with him and push my feelings away, but no.” A little nervous, she left the tablecloth be and twirled strands of hair between her fingers. “I was with him when you called. He showed me his favorite spot in the woods. And… Well, he advised me to talk to you about everything. But I hadn’t even admitted my feelings to myself, so anything beyond that seemed impossible. I lashed out at him as well.” The memory of their fight was still fresh on her mind. It had only happened a day ago, but it felt like weeks had passed since then.

“So, he doesn’t know how you feel.”

“Well… He might have an idea. He certainly knows there’s something between us; he addressed it during our fight yesterday. And… I kind of kissed him today. I didn’t plan on doing it, I just… did it. It wasn’t even a real kiss, our lips barely touched, but– I think it was obvious enough.” At this point, she had pulled out a considerable amount of hair with her fingers, tangling it into a ball. “Then I decided I could no longer go on like that and came here.” Eret was quiet for a while. “What do you say?”

“I say we should have talked way sooner. Would have saved us both a lot of pain. Did you talk to anyone else about this?”

“My mom, but that was still before the wedding. She definitely suspects something now as well, though. And I thought about telling Ruffnut, but she’d have just found a way to include your looks into her arguments and based her opinion on that.”

He chuckled. “Good call. That woman needs to get laid more.” She kicked his shin. “Ow! What was that for?”

“She doesn’t need to get laid like some horny rabbit! She’s just very shallow regarding looks sometimes.”

“Okay, sorry,” he apologized, rubbing his shin. That should be a nice bruise tomorrow. Good. “Does he like you?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “I think so.” A sudden memory flashed through her mind. “I think he even told me once! I ran into him shortly after he and Heather broke up and he said he liked someone else. He said he couldn’t ask her out because she was engaged. Looking back, what are the chances he wasn’t talking about me?” The more she pondered it, the more obvious it seemed. Excited butterflies were dancing through her stomach. No, really, was she remembering this right?

The short sound of a speeding race car came from Eret’s phone, three times in a row, and the little notification light lit up. Eret fumbled for the device. From the look on his face, she could guess who texted him back.

“And?” she asked impatiently.

“He’s in for a beer. Tomorrow after work.”

“Yes!” She held her hand up for a high-five, but Eret was too busy texting Timothy back.

“Now you,” he said when he put his phone down. “I can’t be the only one going on a date right after breaking up with my spouse.”

“Right.” Her heart started pounding as she got up to retrieve her phone from her jacket and leaned against the kitchen counter. She was going to do this. Now.

She had three missed calls. One from her mom, which she ignored. Because the other two were from Hiccup. Understandably, after she basically bolted from his kitchen earlier. There was a voicemail attached. With jet planes flying through her stomach, she pressed her phone to her ear, heart kicking harder against her ribs when she heard his voice.

As she listened to his message, one plane after the other crashed from the sky in a fiery explosion.

Eret looked at her in concern. “Everything alright?”

Her pulse was deafening in her ears, blood rushing through her veins, trying to make her heart beat again. “Fuck.”

[jtargaryen18]

All Heaven in a Rage

Chapter 19

Story Rating: Explicit, 18+ only Warnings: Non-con,  Kidnapping, Stalking, Explicit Sexual Content, Dubious Consent. Please read responsibly. Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader

On AO3 SnowQueen79

A request for a dear friend. This takes place after the Infinity War but before Avengers 4. Steve Rogers has lost most of those he had left to the snap and loneliness is battle he’s losing. What starts out as an honest intention to help a girl who has caught his eye in daily life becomes a dangerous obsession where the lines of what’s real and what’s fantasy are blurred.

I do not consent to have my work hosted on any third party app or site. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown or tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission.

A/N: The Snap...

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18

~~~

The next few days you could tell something was very wrong.

Not with you. Steve couldn’t have been more caring, kind. Tonight, he was letting you have Spencer over for dinner and you were excited about that. You’d started planning out a meal yesterday when Steve had you stop your list and come to bed. He’d asked you if you knew what kind of food Spencer liked and you did. He then promised you’d get takeout before he came over.

Steve went from preoccupied to completely devoted to you at dizzying turns. They were his only two states now and that’s when you realized that something was going on with the Avengers. Something big.

You also didn’t know what had happened between him and Natasha, but he was short with her when she called. Why was he mad at her?

The next morning, Steve woke you early. And it wasn’t that you took exception to early mornings. It was just that lately, he’d been a very enthusiastic lover. Until now, he’d usually made love to you and let you go to sleep. Now? There was some urgency motivating his actions. You didn’t know what caused it.

You probably should have realized what kind of stamina someone like Captain America could have in bed. But now? Now he worked you into exhaustion. It wasn’t unusual now for him to make love to you, allow you to rest for an hour or two and wake you up once or twice more in the night to continue. After a couple of nights, he realized that you were getting sore, so he took great care, got creative.

Outside of that, Steve was almost clingy. At first, you thought you’d done something wrong but in time you realized it wasn’t a lack of trust, he was being very affectionate with you. He wanted to hold your hand, go for walks around the neighborhood, have you sit on his lap in the evenings when you read. Anyone who saw you and didn’t know you would think you were a couple very much in love.

And there was that.

Steve often told you that he loved you now. You weren’t sure how you felt about that. You hadn’t said it back yet and while he didn’t seem to expect you to, you could sense his disappointment each time.

What did he expect?  Had he completely forgotten how you came to be here? It hadn’t been voluntary. Part of you was angry at him for expecting you to tell him you loved him.

Another part of you? Well, you cared about him. Since he’d taken you, he’d often been everything you’d ever dreamed a boyfriend would be and he was beautiful on top of that.

Now you were all showered and dressed as he’d asked. When he further asked you to get your shoes and your things, your curiosity was getting the better of you.

“Am I going somewhere?” you asked carefully.

Steve was in preoccupied mode. After a moment, his gaze settled on you and he smiled.

“I don’t know how today is going to go at the compound so I’m bringing you with me,” Steve explained. “Bring one of your books if you like.”

You were going out? Okay. Nodding, you went and found your shoes, your book, your jacket. Steve had given you a notebook that you’d been using for lists of things for him to get you at the store, meal planning. Grabbing that and a pen, you brought them with you too.

It didn’t take long in his SUV for you to reach the compound and there seemed to be a good deal of activity around the building. Steve had been quiet most of the ride over. When he parked and turned the engine off, he exhaled and turned a sad gaze on you.

Instantly your hand covered his. “Steve, are you okay?”

So much emotion flashed in his gorgeous blue eyes. “I’m okay. You are going to be okay. I promise.”

“Why would we not be?” you wanted to know. “Is something… bad going to happen? Like the…?”

Steve shook his head. “No. No, Sweetheart. Try not to worry.”

Oh, Steve never gave you that type of quilt trip before. Something was definitely going on.

Holding your hand, he led you into the compound where immediately you were hugged by Natasha, then Tony. A handsome man with a mohawk and sharp, clear eyes walked up and held a hand out. His smile was friendly.

“I’ll be damned, Cap,” he said as you shook his hand. “I’m Clint. It’s very nice to meet you.”

They were all so kind to you. And all just about as preoccupied as Steve was. Before you knew it, he had you settled in what looked like a millionaire’s living room with a huge TV, a bar and mini-fridge, bathroom. The furniture was huge and luxurious. You were checking everything out when Steve dashed in to check on you.

“Sweetheart, just stay here until we’re done working, okay?” he asked you, running his fingertips down your cheek. “Someone will be checking in with you and Wong. We’re not planning to be long.”

“Where are you going?” you asked.

“It’s a long story.” He was hiding something.

“Wong?” you asked, thinking about everyone you’d met. “The wizard?”

Steve nodded, smiling. “Yeah, he’s staying here too. He’s right down the hall working on something to help us.”

“I… I won’t bother him,” you promised Steve.

“I know you wouldn’t,” he told you. “Just enjoy your book or TV and we’ll be done soon, okay?”

He kissed the breath out of you then until a wolf whistle behind him made him stop.

“Gotta go, Cap.” Rhodey winked at you as he walked down the hall.

“Be careful,” you told him.

“For you, I will.” With a hug that nearly compressed your ribs, Steve let go and followed Rhodey down the hall.

A nice young lady brought you breakfast about an hour later. Eggs Benedict with was the centerpiece of a breakfast that you really enjoyed as you found your television show and continued on with the second season. There were several kings now that the king at the beginning of the story had died and they were all fighting to take power. One king was prepared to attack the main kingdom and things were getting tense. You decided to take a break before the ninth episode and stretch your legs. Surely it would be okay for you to walk up and down the hall to do that?

The ballet flats you wore made no noise as you walked and the compound was pretty big so you walked to the end of the hallway and went down another, limiting yourself because how embarrassing would it be to get lost?

When you reached the end of the second hallway, you heard low voices. When you eased closer to the door that was slightly opened, you heard Steve’s voice. After a moment you realized he was talking to Natasha. You smiled, hoping they were working out whatever had happened between them.

“I’m just saying if something happens to either of us,” Steve said, “we need to agree on what to do.”

Your heart sank. What did he mean if something happened to either of them? Was Steve in danger? Were all of them? What was happening?

“Meaning you’ll take care of Kara if something happens to me and I’ll look after her if anything happens to you?” Natasha asked him. “That’s fair. I promise. But we shouldn’t think like that. This might work.”

Steve’s exhale was a heavy sound. “Nat, today we’re just testing things out. To see if Tony’s time-travel GPS thing will even work. If it does, we go back in time to find the stones where they were at specific times. Apparently copying them won’t work. We’ll just have to make sure we return them once we’re done.”

“If this works,” Natasha said with emphasis.

You covered your mouth with your hand. Time travel? Like Outlander? The stones? What stones? Why were they time traveling?

“If this works,” Steve shot back, “Natasha, we bring everyone we lost back. We fix everything. I know for me and you in our situations that seems bad right now…”

Bring everyone we lost back?

“No, it’s bad period,” Natasha had tears in her voice. “If we pull this off, Kara’s parents are back. Her grandparents and aunt and uncle and cousin are back. I lose her, Steve. I don’t know…”

What?

“My situation with my girl isn’t a lot better,” Steve told her while you were choking on your shock. “Her family will be back too. Her boyfriend. Where does that leave me?”

Your mind was spinning. Surely you didn’t just hear what you thought you heard. Did you?

“You could still win her back, Steve. My situation isn’t the same.”

“Natasha, I need you to promise me you won’t do anything… rash. Please?” Steve’s tone softened. “We’ll figure something out. I’ll help you. I promise.”

“You promise?” she immediately asked.

There was a beat before he answered.

“Yes.”

You knew that tone. Steve was unsure of something.

Afraid you might get caught eavesdropping, you scrambled back up that hallway to the one you were supposed to be on and then back into the lounge where they’d put you. Dropping onto the couch, you stopped to contemplate everything you just heard.

It was a lot.

As you understood it, the Avengers may have found a way to time travel. They were testing it. If they were successful, they were going to look for some stones that they could use to bring back everyone they lost. You took it to mean everyone lost in the snap.

Was it possible? Steve had just said if they pulled it off, your family would be back. Your boyfriend too.

You were afraid to allow that hope in your heart. Your family? Your best friend? That was a different story. What you wouldn’t give to have your family back… You’d missed them so much.

Not so much about your boyfriend. Steve had treated you much better than he had and you were a captive. Compared to what Steve had shown you, you weren’t even sure your so-called boyfriend ever cared about you at all. Looking back, it felt like he’d used you for sex. And it hadn’t been that good. You’d only ever orgasmed once with him. Steve, on the other hand, wouldn’t relent until he knew you did. Every night, several times.

It was more than sex. Yes, Steve taking you had been wrong. But… He was a man of his word. He’d taken care of you just like he said and kept you safe. He said he loved you and you believed him. Yeah, it was all fucked up how it started, but the more you learned about Steve, the more you realized at heart he was a good man, the best.

He loved you.

What if something happened to Steve in the process?

Your heart squeezed in fear. Apparently, if something did happen to him, Natasha was going to be responsible for you. How would that be? There were a lot of unknowns. If something happened to either or both of them, did that mean the Avengers couldn’t execute their plan to reverse the snap?

How would you feel if Steve died?

You realized then that you would care. You would miss him. Maybe more than you realized.

Pushing that thought aside, you didn’t want to think about something happening to Steve, you focused on the rest.

What had Natasha meant when talking about her daughter? Kara’s parents and several other family members were back?

Ah, then it came to you. Steve had stolen you in the aftermath of the snap. In all the chaos that you’d been struggling in, he’d just claimed you for his own and no one really noticed. You had no one left. Your heart swelled with gratitude as you stopped to consider everything. Steve had been right. What if another man, an evil man that would have hurt you, would have taken you instead? You could have been trafficked or worse.

But Kara… Natasha had stolen that baby, hadn’t she? Just as Steve had taken you. Only in their situations, if everyone came back, what happened? How did that all work?

You thought your parents might really like Steve…

“Hey, is there food?”

Your head jerked up. You looked to the door to see the wizard you’d met earlier standing the in the doorway with a friendly smile.

“Yes,” you told him after a moment. “There’s a lady who works here who said she’d be back to check on me in a few minutes. I’m sure she’d be glad to find you something.”

Wong nodded. “Okay. Can I wait with you?”

You smiled. “Yes, please.”

The man in his strange robes walked in and sat on the other portion of the huge l-shaped couch, taking in your show for a moment.

“You’re just on season two?”

You nodded. “I love it though.”

Wong smiled. “It’s a really good show.”

You didn’t know how the wizard was tied to what the Avengers were doing, and if Steve found out you might be in quite a bit of trouble, but you decided to see what the man knew. He did think you were Steve’s girlfriend. You could just act confused on the details.

Taking a deep breath, you thought of where to begin.

“Do you think they’ll pull this off?” you asked carefully.

Wong’s expression went from curious to kind in a beat. “I think there’s a very good chance, yes.”

“If they can find the stones,” you added. “I wasn’t sure what he meant about that part.”

“Ah.” The wizard waved his hands and you jerked as some floating cosmic display materialized out of nowhere and you saw six floating gems there, each lighting up when he explained its purpose. Six infinity stones. They had been used to power a gauntlet that someone named Thanos, a titan from outer space, had used to snap away half of everyone. Your family. The devastation wasn’t limited to just earth apparently. There was life elsewhere and whoever Thanos was, he’d destroyed them too.

Your heart began to hurt a little. A flood of information was coming at you, literally at lightning speed. You were struggling to keep up, to process it all.

“If they get the stones from the past, they can undo what he did?” you asked. “They can fix everything?”

“Or close to it. That’s the plan.” Wong eyed her speculatively.

“Wait.” Something occurred to you. “When that happens, everyone comes back here and now? Or do we all go back to when it happened?”

Wong nodded. “We’ll all go back to that moment in time just before it happened.”

“Will we remember any of this?” you asked, fear beginning to creep in. “Or would we go back to that day like none of this ever happened?”

Would it all be like a bad dream? It never happened and Steve never took you? You wouldn’t remember anything?

If so, shouldn’t you be ecstatic right now?

The wizard’s sympathy was clear on his face. “You won’t remember,” Wong explained carefully. “You didn’t meet the Captain until after the snap?”

“That’s right.” It was your ticket to freedom if they pulled it off.

Then why did it hurt? Would you really miss Steve? Did you not want to be free of him?

You were so confused.

Wong blew out an exhale, staring at the floor as if he were deep in thought. His cosmic display evaporated.

“Steve would likely be there when this was reversed,” Wong said after a long moment. “His memories would be intact. He would remember you.”

Now your heart did hurt. Steve would lose you. Natasha would lose Kara. And they would remember this timeline? They’d remember everything they lost.

Why did you feel sorry for them?

Kara had a family that loved her. She wasn’t Natasha’s. She didn’t belong to Natasha.

And you didn’t belong to Steve.

Then why did your heart hurt to even think about what the wizard said would happen if their plans were successful?

Both of them still were trying to reverse the damage done to the galaxy anyway. In spite of what they’d lose. It was the right thing to do. Didn’t they get a little credit for that?

Again, your wizard friend seemed deep in thought. “I have an idea for you.”

“What’s that?”

“You could always write it all down,” Wong explained carefully. “Like a diary. You could write down everything you wanted to remember about everything that’s happened since the snap, that moment. Write to yourself explaining what happened, why you’re writing.”

“Okay,” you thought. It was a good idea. “I could. Then what?”

“We could arrange for it to be somewhere you know you’ll find it when things are corrected,” Wong told her.

You were dumbstruck for a moment. Would that work?

You could warn yourself when things returned to normal and you weren’t Steve’s prisoner anymore of what happened, so you’d know to be careful in the future. To stay away from him in case he came for you again.

And you were pretty certain he would. Now you completely understood why he’d been acting the way he was with you.

You could also remind yourself of all the good things he did. Remember that you loved him.

The thought stopped you cold. You weren’t in love with Steve.

Were you?

One thing didn’t make sense. “How can I get it to myself? If this… timeline goes away.”

Wong considered that. “You’d have to give it to me. I’ll be there when this is undone. If I have it on my person, it will remain. Just leave me an address so I can send it to you once everything happens.”

The kindness of the stranger before you was incredible. “I feel like that’s asking a lot.”

“Tell yourself to take me to lunch one day when we’re on the other side,” he said with a grin.

“That’s fair,” you told him, chuckling. If Steve let you... “Thank you. How much time do I have?”

“If the test goes well today,” he explained. “Tomorrow is the day we’ll either reverse everything or fail.”

“Thank you,” you said to Wong finally, knowing he thought he was helping Steve’s girlfriend. “That’s… just thank you.”

“Just remember to add something in there for verification,” Wong told her meaningfully. “Something only you would know from before the snap so you’ll know it's true and that you sent it.”

Tears gathered in your eyes as you eyed the notebook and pen you’d brought along. You were here and you had time. You just didn’t know what slant you were going to take in writing to your past self.

“Hey,” Wong said gently. “Steve really seems to love you.”

I know.

“He won’t forget you,” Wong assured you. “And he’ll find you. No matter what it takes.”

You knew he would. But did you want him to?

It was only a few minutes before the Stark employee checked in and took Wong to get him something to eat. The minute he was out of the room, you were writing furiously in the notebook.

You wrote down everything you could think of that happened. How you first talked to Steve to the mugging to everything that had happened since then. You tried, you really did, to stick with the facts. Your intention was to stick with only what happened without any emotional words. But then you’d reread for a moment and noticed that you’d failed to leave out any kindness he’d displayed, no matter how small.

Hours passed as you wrote as quickly as you could everything you wanted yourself to know if your current timeline went away because they reversed the snap. You added in the verification part Wong advised you about. You mentioned Natasha and Kara. You told yourself to take Wong to lunch.

Hours later, when you’d finished, you’d waited for Stark’s employee to make her rounds. you’d asked her for a good-sized envelope she brought you one, no question asked. There were nineteen pages. You sealed them in and went down the hall and gave them to Wong. He was an honorable man and you didn’t think he’d try to read them. But you did have one concern.

“Please don’t mention this to anyone,” you pleaded. “I just… I want it to be a surprise. A good one.”

Wong’s smile was warm. “Each of them deserves that, I think. I will be glad to do as you ask.” He tucked your envelope away inside his robe. “You mentioned my lunch?”

You laughed. “Yes, I certainly did.”

Wong nodded. “Good.”

***

When Clint came back from the test, Steve’s heart was racing. It worked. They were really going to try this. They were going to reverse everything. When they finished up, he headed to the lounge to get his girl and now he really regretted allowing her to have Spencer over tonight. It was entirely possible that this was the last night he was going to have with her for a while. Not ever. She was his and as long as he was alive, that would be so.

She was watching her show when he walked in, lounging on a section of the couch.

“How did everything go?” she asked him, those big gorgeous eyes making him melt.

“It went well,” Steve said as he joined her on the couch, gazing down at the notebook next to her feet. Flipping up the top cover, he noticed a lot of pages had been ripped out. “What were you writing?”

She blew out an exhale and her shoulders slumped. “Don’t laugh. You know how wrapped up I’ve been in the books and the show based on them. I thought… I thought about maybe writing a story of my own.”

Color flooded her face. She was so beautiful to him, and his heart swelled in his chest. The idea of her writing? Sounded wonderful to him. She could write at home.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” he told her, capturing one of her small hands in his own. “I’ll bet you’re a talented writer.”

“Well, it’s my first day…”

Sitting up, she leaned forward and kissed him. His heart nearly stopped each time she did that, his mind for an instant shutting down. These small moments, a lot more common now, when she opened herself up and gave to him were priceless. The balm that his battered and bruised soul had longed for over so many years.

Hopefully, he could find a way to keep dinner with Spencer short. When he’d agreed to it, he’d had no idea it would land on the night before they tried to reverse everything. He really just wanted the night alone with her. But if the dinner made her happy, and it was the last night he might spend with her for now, well, maybe things worked out just as they should.

Even with the traffic, he’d managed to get them out of the compound, pick up Thai food and get them home by six, a good thirty minutes before her friend was supposed to arrive.

Spencer.

He had a long talk with Spencer that day when he visited the young man where he worked. Spencer was smart and Steve thought he understood how things would go. Steve smiled as he set out dishes, remembering that talk. It had reminded him of times in the army when he’d had to talk to new recruits.

And as long as he heeded everything Steve explained, there wouldn’t be a problem.

She freshened up, changed into a dress that Steve personally liked a lot. “Is this okay?”

He couldn’t help but smile. “You look beautiful.”

The chime of the doorbell announced their guest’s arrival.

She went to hug Spencer who did seem happy to see her. Then his gaze nervously searched around them until he spotted Steve approaching.

Good. He should be nervous.

Spencer shook his hand and Steve gave his firmest handshake, a warning to her friend to remember what they talked about. He left them to catch up in the living room for a few minutes, not leaving them alone, as he finished setting the table.

“I don’t know what I’m thinking,” he heard her say and laugh. “Let me take your jacket.”

“Oh,” Spencer stood to remove it, one hand quickly darting into an interior pocket to pull something out before handing the jacket to her.

What was this?

Walking to the edge of the living room, Steve asked, “Who’s hungry?”

She and Spencer rose from the couch, him telling her all about his new job and how it had gone. She listened, smiling at his stories.

She was happy. Steve watched her take over serving and they started telling him about other regulars they had over the last couple of years at the coffee shop. After a few moments, he found himself laughing over some of their tales. He didn’t know his girl was such a good impressionist. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d heard her laugh so much.

During all of this, Steve watched Spencer laugh at one particularly funny impression his girl did of an older lady they used to wait on, leaning towards her as he did.

Spencer slid something into her hand under the table.

There it is.

His girl’s demeanor changed in an instant. Whatever he’d given her, she wasn’t trying to look at it. Steve didn’t know what she’d even done with it. Instead, her attention immediately went to him, asking him about some of the funniest rescues he and the team had.

Steve had some stories, there were many, and he told a couple, enjoying their reaction to them.

His heart clenched in his chest as he watched her. Steve loved having her attention, loved the way she was focused on him. He was almost a hundred percent sure that she hadn’t communicated with her friend in any way he wasn’t aware of. Whatever Spencer was up to here, she didn’t have prior knowledge of it. She was willing him without words to believe that, smart enough to know Steve had picked up on it by now.

His girl.

Steve told her to forget the kitchen for now and herded them back into the living room after dinner. Bringing out a bottle of bourbon and some glasses, he watched her eyes round in surprise and he poured them a drink and they talked a few minutes more.

He could have laughed at her expression when she stared at the glass he gave her. He nodded to her, giving her his permission.

“Well, it’s been great to see you, Spencer,” Steve finally said. “We have an early morning, so we need to think about getting to bed.”

Spencer drained his glass quickly before placing it on the coffee table before him and nodded. “My Uber can be here in five minutes. Hey, thank you for dinner. And for letting me see her. I really, really appreciate it.”

Steve didn’t miss the emphasis he put on “letting me see her” and she looked terrified.

“Tell Spencer goodnight, sweetheart,” Steve bid her. “Then I’ll walk him out.”

He hated the way she trembled when she got up to embrace her friend, hanging onto him a little more than Steve cared for. Spencer whispered something to her before telling her he’d see her soon so Steve could here.

He was a patient man. He waited until they’d walked out onto his front step, the door closed. The Uber wasn’t there yet.

Grabbing him by the throat with some pressure, Steve slammed a surprised Spencer roughly against the brick façade of the house, lifted him off the ground. Spencer’s hands clawed at his, ineffectually trying to get him to let go so he could breathe.

“Think you’re real cute, don’t you?” Steve said in a low, warning tone. “If this were any other night, I can promise you that you’d never see her again.”

Spencer’s eyes were wide on him as he struggled.

“You’re not going to say a word to anyone.” It wasn’t a request. “I can guarantee that now or you can reassure me.”

Because it would be so easy to snap his thin neck. It wouldn’t take much at all…

Spencer blinked furiously, nodded as best he could with Steve’s iron grip around his throat. He gasped for air when Steve released him.

“I-I won’t say anything… I p-promise Captain, sir,” he muttered in a panic. Steve had him backed against the house and the chances he could dodge around him to make his escape were slim. “I won’t.”

“No, you won’t,” Steve told him angrily. “I told you what would happen. Did you doubt me?”

“N-no, sir,” Spencer told him, dropping his gaze.

The relief in the kid’s face when the Uber arrived was laughable.

“Just… please, can I ask just one thing,” he said, his gaze frantically shifting between Steve and the car that would take him out of his reach. “Please… don’t hurt her… She’s good. She’s one of the nicest people… Just… please.”

“Son, did you not see her tonight?” Steve leaned down to get in his face. “Did you not see how beautiful she looks? How happy and healthy? Does it look like she’s in danger from me?”

“No, but…” Spencer stopped, considered his words. “But… if she’s so happy…. Why is she afraid?”

With that, he darted past Steve, and he allowed it, jumping into the back the small SUV that had arrived.

Watching him being driven off into the night, Steve ran a hand through his hair.

Why is she afraid?

His heart sank. Was that the truth? That she was afraid of him?

If they successfully reversed the snap tomorrow, he didn’t know when he’d have her in his arms next. He would see her, he’d make sure of that. But he’d be starting over and having to navigate her family, her boyfriend. She’d even lived in a different place when the snap had taken place.

How was he going to get her back?

The decent man in him longed to do it the right way next time. To court her, to give her the choice to choose him or not. The choice he never gave her. Sure, the world had left him cynical and jaded, and Nat’s idea had sounded good at the time. But after hearing Spencer’s words, he realized now what he wanted more than anything else.

Steve wanted her to love him. Not because she was his captive and felt like she had to say it. Not because she thought for any reason she should say it.

He wanted her to say “I love you” and mean it.

When he went back inside, she was waiting for him, wringing her hands.

Steve blew out an exhale. He just wanted to get this over with. He just wanted to get to the part where he got to spend the night with her in his arms. He didn’t know when he’d get the next opportunity if all went well tomorrow. If things failed…

He held out his hand and she placed a neatly folded slip of paper onto his palm.

“I didn’t open it,” she whispered, trembling.

“I know you didn’t,” Steve admitted. Unfolding it, he found a short, hand-written note. It said “Let me help you. Call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX.”

Fucking Spencer. He’d remember this.

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” she told him. “I don’t know what it says but I haven’t talked to him that you didn’t know about. I swear.”

He knew that. She’d had no way to do so without his knowledge.

Tucking the note away in the pocket of his jeans, he pulled her into his arms, wanting to calm her. “Sweetheart, please don’t worry about this. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Steve was confused when he felt her tears soak into his shirt as he held her there.

“Yes… yes, I did, Steve,” she muttered.

Tipping her chin up, Steve made her look at him.

“What could you have possibly done wrong?” he wanted to know.

Steeling herself with a deep breath, she squarely met his gaze. “I know about tomorrow.”

Her admission stunned him. “What do you mean you know about tomorrow?”

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” her tears flowing freely now. “I just walked down the hall to stretch my legs and I… I heard you talking to Natasha. I know that tomorrow you’re going to try to fix the snap… I know if that happens that I… I won’t remember this… and you and….”

Tears stung the backs of Steve’s eyes as he pulled her back to him, held her there against his heart. “It doesn’t matter now, Sweetheart. It’s okay. If this is the last night I have with you, I just… I want to enjoy it. I want to hold you.”

Steve walked her back to their bedroom and undressed her slowly, removing her dress, the lace bra, and matching panties. The lacy stockings he left on as he lowered her to the bed, touching her, cherishing her in every way he knew she enjoyed, wanting her to understand without words how much she meant to him.

She was in tears when they finished, clinging to him and laying her head on her chest as they struggled to breathe.

“It’s okay,” Steve tried to reassure her even though he had no idea how it was going to go.

“What happens if this works, Steve?” she whispered in the darkness. “What’s going to happen?”

“You’ll have your family back,” he whispered. “Your friends… And I’ll be happy for you. I want you to be happy.”

“I won’t remember you.”

Steve was quiet for a long time. He honestly didn’t have a response for that.

“What happens if it doesn’t work?” she went on.

Steve didn’t even want to think about it. “I don’t know.”

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

“As long as I’m still here, I’ll come for you,” he told her quietly.

Steve watched her until she fell asleep and long after.

***

Steve hadn’t intended to wake her up before he left but he did, wanting to see her gaze at him just once more. Her beautiful eyes slit open, her gaze moved over him. He watched tears gather because she knew he was getting ready to leave.

“I wish I could go with you,” she whispered.

Steve did too because then he could keep her. “I need to know you’re safe. And you’re safest right here.”

"When?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart. Just go about your day like you normally would."

Dropping her gaze, she nodded. He tipped her chin back up. “I will find you again.”

“Steve?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?”

“I forgive you for… everything,” she said tearfully.

Steve’s heart shattered right then and there.

“I mean that. I hope you make it through everything without being hurt because I know what you’re getting ready to do is probably… dangerous. Please be careful. ”

Leaning forward, he took one last kiss, tasting her tears on her lips. He wanted to commit every bit of her to memory to take it with him into eternity or to make it last until she was back where she belonged.

“Steve?” She eased away from him, trailing cold fingertips across his cheek.

“Yeah?” It was all he could say. Words were sticking in his throat.

“I love you.”

Steve crushed her against him, never ever wanting to let her go. His heart was thundering in his chest and he held her against it. For a long moment, he just held her and never wanted to let her go.

“I love you too,” he whispered into her soft hair.

It was time to go.

Steve took a long look at her, sleepy, naked and wrapped in his sheets. So beautiful.

And now in maybe the last moments of everything in this time, she was his.

He had to force himself to leave, force himself into the car Tony had sent to bring him to the compound.

Steve took a deep breath and walked into the compound, ready now for whatever happened.

@kenzieam @princessofdarkwinter @brooklyn-1918 @shippers-heart @what-is-your-plan-today @wandascarlett @la-cey @writing-in-a-cottage @thefandomzoneisdangerous

[imjustthemechanic]

The Price of a Soul

Part 1/? - Agent Russel Part 2/? - The Letter Part 3/? - Miss Lake Part 4/? - The Stewardess Part 5/? - An Assassination Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - Face to Face Part 8/? - Deals, Details, and Other Devils Part 9/? - Baggage Part 10/? - Private Funding Part 11/? - Just Passing Through Part 12/? - Party of Four Part 13/? - Resolute Part 14/? - The Wreck Part 15/? - Body Snatchers Part 16/? - Out of the Frying Pan Part 17/? - A Miracle Part 18/? - A Matter of Circumstance

A chapter for anybody who’s been wondering just what Lake’s deal is.

-

It was dark by now.  Peggy headed out on the deck, and got a blast of icy-cold air in the face. They were moving west, back towards American waters, and it made Peggy wonder if the Canadians even knew they were up here.  In the darkness and wind there was nobody else on deck except the essential staff. All she had to do was find somewhere sheltered.

The wind was from the west, so Peggy went around behind the ship’s superstructure.  One of the lifeboats was in need of repairs and had been lashed to the deck there, keel-up, so men could work on it.  Between it and the superstructure was a nice little triangle that was out of the wind and away from prying eyes.  With the ship and the sea drown out the noise, Peggy leaned against the wall and bawled.

Steve was alive!  He was alive and awake and solid and real.  All this time Peggy had been mourning his loss, trying to get over this beautiful brave fool of a man she’d once hoped to build a life with, he’d been up there in the ice waiting to be found!  The moment she’d seen his eyes open, all the work she’d put into moving on had been utterly wasted because there he was.  She was overjoyed at the same time as… what was she going to do?

Peggy loved Daniel.  He understood her.  Their relationship was based on working together in peacetime on a very different set of problems… that was something she would have had to build from the ground up with Steve and three years ago she’d been ready to do it, even looking forward to it, but now?  Steve didn’t even know the time had passed.  He might think they could still make their date at the Stork Club. Somebody was probably telling him about it right now.  What would he think?  Would he wonder why Peggy hadn’t told him herself?

Was she going to have to break his heart?  Was she going to have to break Daniel’s? What about her own?  And was she really so bloody selfish that at a time when Steve’s return was going to mean so much to so many people, people like Daniel and Lieutenant Harbottle who’d never felt they got to properly thank him, she was thinking about this?

The answer to that last question was yes.  Yes, she absolutely was, damn her.

Hot tears slid down her face and froze to her cheeks, and her sobs mixed with the arctic wind and flew away across the sea on it. For what seemed like half the night, she felt like she might never be able to stop.  Her head began to ache, her nose ran, her throat went sore… Steve was in there waiting for her to come back and she was going to look the ugliest she had in her life…

Then, at last, she ran out of tears.  For a moment she stayed perfectly still, just listening to the wind… and then she heard the sound of somebody singing.

Perhaps she’d imagined it.  Over the creak of the ship and the sound of her own shuddering breaths, how could Peggy have heard anything else?  But there it was again, and after a moment of straining her ears, she realized it was coming from underneath the upturned lifeboat.  She knelt down for a look.  It was very dark under the boat, but once her eyes adjusted, she made out the shape of a woman lying on the deck, curled around a life vest she had clutched to her middle and singing softly to herself.

“And if I’m flying solo, at least I’m flying free,” she sang, slow and shaky.  Peggy did not know the song, but she could tell it was off-key.  “To those who’d ground me, take a message back for me…”

“Kay?” Peggy asked.

Kay opened her eyes.  They were red-rimmed, and her cheeks were stained with tears.

“Are you all right?” Peggy wanted to know.

“I’m fine,” said Kay hoarsely.

“No, you aren’t,” said Peggy.

“If you already knew that, then why did you ask?” Kay rolled over to face away from her.

Peggy spent a moment wondering if she ought to say something more, then decided no.  She’d never gotten a straight answer from Kay yet, and this was not the time to try. She should go in and wash her face, and see if she could talk to Steve without bursting into tears all over again. Peggy stood up.

“Don’t go,” said Kay.

Peggy knelt down again.  “Why not?” she asked.

Kay was still lying with her back to Peggy, and did not move to change that.  “Life’s not fair,” she said.

“No.  No, it’s not,” Peggy agreed.  It never was.

“Have you ever noticed that nobody ever says that like it’s a bad thing?” Kay asked.  She sniffled, and Peggy saw an arm move to wipe her nose on her sleeve.  “It’s just the way it is.  We’re not supposed to try to change it.”

“Yes.  The people who say life’s not fair are the ones who have some advantage they want to press,” Peggy agreed.  “Whether it’s a parent to a child, a boss to an employee, or…” she could think of other examples, but they hit a little too close to home.  “Or Steve’s lady friend, talking to the woman who risked her life for him even though he doesn’t even know who she is?”

This time, Kay did roll over.  “Who do you think I am, Peggy?” she asked.

Peggy’s heart started beating a little faster. For all she’d just had a very personal breakdown, there was enough professional left in her to know that this might be her only chance to learn something very important.  She was not sure how she felt about Kay – they certainly weren’t friends, but after what had happened today, could they really be enemies anymore? – but she could use this emotional moment to get some kind of truth from her.  The question was whether she would hate herself for it later.

“Can we talk about this indoors?” Peggy asked.

Kay uncurled a little from the life vest she’d been crying into, but she did so in defeat, not because she wanted to open up.  “You want me somewhere you can record me.”

“No,” Peggy backtracked.  “I want you somewhere we can both wash our faces and have something hot to drink, because we’re cried out and it’s brass monkeys out here.”

“It’s okay.  I’d do the same thing,” said Kay.

She squirmed out from under the boat and Peggy helped her stand, and they both stumbled back inside and found a washroom.  On a navy ship all of these, except the one for the nurses, were supposed to be men only, but most of the sailors who came in and saw the two of them washing up just turned around and left again – and the ones who stayed politely decided to use the stalls.  Peggy and Kay were still red-eyed and miserable as they went to the mess hall, but Peggy at least felt a little more presentable.  She got them each a mug of tea, and they went to a little table in the corner, far from anyone else present at this hour.

By the time they got there, she had settled on how she was going to answer Kay’s question.  Peggy gave the other woman her tea, and then said, “I think you definitely came from the same place as Olga Barynova,” she said, “and I think you may have been telling the truth when you said they sent you here to find her.  But I also think you have your own agenda, which your superiors may not approve of.  What that has to do with Steve I’m not sure.”

Kay shook her head.  “Nobody sent me.  I came here on my own.  I…” she took a deep breath.  “I knew you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, so I thought I’d let you figure it out on your own, but I don’t care anymore.  I’m a time traveler.  I’m from the future.  I’m here to fix it.”

That was not an answer Peggy had been prepared for, and her instinctive reaction was that it had to be nonsense.  Yet… hadn’t she seen stranger things?  She’d seen tiny Steve Rogers transformed into Captain America.  She’d seen the awesome technology of the Valkyrie, a plane the size of this aircraft carrier roaring into the sky as if it weighed nothing at all.  She’d seen the unbelievable power of the tesseract, the bizarre properties of the Zero Matter, and the corpse of a giant her superiors thought must have come from outer space.  Who was Peggy Carter to say that time travel was impossible?

“Tell me more,” she said.

“I was born in 1984,” said Kay, “and you’re right, the Red Room got me… but the Soviet Union collapsed when I was still a child, so they began using us as assassins and spies for hire instead.  The controls weren’t as tight as they used to be, and eventually I went rogue.  The organization the SSR evolved into sent a man to kill me, but he…”  She looked up at Peggy, and seemed to arrange her words carefully before she continued.  “I guess he thought I was worth more alive.  So I ended up working for them instead.  I was with the group who found Steve in the arctic in 2012.”

Peggy had been thinking that recruiting somebody like Dottie sounded far too dangerous to her, but that number brought her train of thought up short.  Twenty-twelve didn’t even sound like a real year.  It was the sort of far-flung future one saw in serials where people regularly rode rocket ships into space.  “And he was still alive?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said Kay.  “When I met him, when they thawed him out – they let it take a few days, so he recovered better than he did today – he was so lost.  Everybody he knew was dead and the whole world had changed, but somehow they expected him to just get back into it and be Captain America again. And he did, because he didn’t know what else to do.”

Peggy could just picture it… poor Steve, wandering in a world like something out of one of Howard’s fantasies, all flying cars and cities on the moon.  Not in itself a terrible future, but not one anyone wanted to see alone.

But apparently it was a terrible future, because Kay went on: “by that time, people like Zola meant that HYDRA had completely permeated the United States government.  You almost couldn’t get it out without tearing the whole thing down. Steve and I found out about it and exposed it, but it was a horrible mess.  People looked back on the last sixty years and realized there were so many wars that didn’t need to happen and people who didn’t need to die.”

When talking about the death of Zola, Peggy recalled, Kay had sounded like the murder had been very personal to her.  There was more than that, though: “were you in love with him?” Peggy asked.

“Love is for children,” said Kay.  “Captain Rogers was my friend.  We worked together for years.  He missed you.  He missed Barnes, he missed Stark.  Finding HYDRA was still active made him feel like he’d sacrificed himself in that plane wreck for nothing.  There are so many things he would not have stood for, but those won’t happen now.” She sat up a little straighter. “Because Zola is dead and Steve is alive, and the future is going to be better.”

Peggy didn’t know if she believed a word of that… but it was certainly a compelling idea, and she couldn’t deny the reality of the two facts Kay had just stated.  Zola was dead, and Steve was alive.  And if the other things she’d said were true, then the future was going to be… perhaps not necessarily better, but certainly very different.

He was my friend.  That was why she’d been crying, because he’d woken up and looked at her and said who are you?  If he’d done the same to Peggy, she didn’t know that she would have been able to just keep smiling as Kay had.

“What are you going to do next?” Peggy asked.

“I’ve got a list,” said Kay.  “There are some more like Zola who have to go, and the Red Room, but we’re not talking about people who keep their records for seventy years. I need information, and to get it I think I need Barynova.”

“Then why run off to follow me?” Peggy wanted to know. “Why not stay in New York where they’re working on that?”

Kay gave an uneasy shrug.  “I just felt like I should be here.”

Peggy supposed she ought not to argue with that. If not for Kay, Steve would be either on a dissecting table or burned alive in the boiler room, and Peggy would never even know she’d killed him.  The thought made her shudder.

“What’s your real name?” she asked.

“Natalia Alianova Romanova,” was the reply.  “If I had any friends they’d call me Natasha. Or just Nat.  But don’t call me that,” Kay added firmly.  “I don’t want that name getting into the history books later. I don’t want anyone ever knowing this wasn’t the way history was originally supposed to go.”

“Because you don’t want anyone trying to put it back,” Peggy said.

“That’s right.”  Kay heaved a shuddering sigh, as if she might start crying again, but she did not.  “Do you believe me?”

“I don’t know what to believe,” Peggy replied, with complete honesty.  “But you did lead me to him, so… thank you for that.”  Even if Peggy had no idea what she was going to do about it.

“You’re welcome,” said Kay.  “You were the love of his life.”

“He was mine, too,” Peggy said, and wondered what Kay would think of the problem that presented her with.  Did she know something else about Peggy’s own future that Peggy did not?  Was she destined to be unhappy in marriage?  Or had she even thought about it at all?  Maybe Peggy was only here because Kay expected her to play her role in Steve’s future, and had never considered that Peggy might have developed other plans in the meantime.