Year 1:
“I’m telling you, man. You just need to drink the protein shakes Dad and I have. Don’t worry about the taste, they’re banana chocolate flavoured. It’s actually quite delicious when you get used to the texture. Then you’ll just need to go to the gyms a few times a week to get these bad boys.” I said, flexing my 16-inch arms.
“Oh, and I can make protein pancakes! Maybe I can add it to other pastries too. It’ll be healthy, useful and delicious. I bet your mom could never have thought of that.” He said smugly.
“Dude, focus. Why does everything have to be cooking with you?”
“Sorry, I got too excited there. It’s just that I haven’t made breakfast you guys liked, it’s completely her territory. For now. Maybe If I make this, you guys will eat it.”
”You know we’ll have to finish whatever you both end up cooking anyway, right?”
“Yeah, that doesn’t count. I want you to eat it because you like it.” The man said, just when I thought he was sane.
”Well that’s irrelevant. Don’t you think it’s a great idea?” He asked.
Even though he’s a maniac, I have to admit.
“I guess it’s not bad, I don’t have to drink and eat at the same time. Just don’t make too much, you get easily full with those things.”
“Don’t worry about it man. Don’t you have morning football practice to burn off the calories?”
“Alright, just don’t put raisins in there. I heard somewhere that they make you dehydrated.”
I shoo him out of the door and start undressing. Contemplating on a compression shirt or an oversized Tee, my head starts running. I am objectively muscular, but compared to the guys at the gym, I’m nothing. I don’t think I’m big enough yet. Oversized Tee it is then.
Grabbing my duffle, I ran downstairs. Then, the scent of banana chocolate sweets blasted my face.
“Morning Jay, come try it out. This is really good.” Dad called out with his mouth half full.
I picked up the buttered pancake. It smells nice, with some cherry scent in there too.
“Dang, this is not bad, Pumpkin,” I shouted to him in the kitchen.
“Right? And with more space in the stomach for drinks, you can try Chloe’s fruit smoothie.” Dad said.
“Don’t worry sweetie, the fruits are from the farmers market so it’s healthy.” Mom yelled from the kitchen.
Looking back at the breakfast, it’s a bit more bulky than usual, but I’m gonna work it off in the morning drill anyway.
Without more hesitation, I dug into the full plate of pancakes and blueberry whipped cream.
“Sweetie, you’re already done? I have more in the back.” Mom said
“She really stepped up her game, right?” Dad chimed in.
“It was awesome mom. Thank you, and help me thank Theo too. But I really need to go now. The practice starts in 30.”
“Alright sweetie, stay safe and don’t be late. I’ll have David finish off the rest.”
“Wait, me? But there’s so much!” Dad whined.
“Love you Mom, love you dad, gotta go.”
I rushed out of the house with the faint sound of their replies.
I felt bad for Dad, since school started, I’ve been leaving the leftovers to him because of school. More often than not, Theo and Mom would overcook and we would be left with more food than we know how to deal with. So Dad would take his usual time for morning runs to finish it before going to work. I need to make it up to him somehow. I guess I could offload his burden by eating more on the weekends.
The practice went as well as it could with my stomach full of pancakes; although Coach thought I had a lot of potential with all the fumbles. Probably because Dad was a star quarterback here back in his days.
“You just need to get used to the team dynamic here, then it will all be fine, Jacob. Don’t sweat it,” Coach said.
It was easier said than done. Someone literally asked me how long my dick was, then groped my pec. At least in high school, people had the decency of being embarrassed.
Maybe I do need to chill off. Go to the club like they said. I do have the biggest pecs out of everyone after all. And I heard people like big glutes, so maybe someone would want me.
It took me a month to search up a club. I was not stalling. Then, another month to put the address into Google Maps. I was busy. Homework has been rough, the professor hates me and Theo needs me to restock. Nonetheless, I finally have time now.
Yay.
Putting on Dad’s old Beige Polo, I look pretty good. The shirt hugs my muscles too much for comfort, but it’s the one day of the month I’m supposed to look like a slut. The light is going to be dimmed anyway.
Fishing for the keys, my hand found some candied fruit on the stand. The guy even knows how to make candies from leftover fruits, who even does that? I grabbed some to put it in my mouth.
On my way out I caught a glimpse of my father in the kitchen. He’s been starting to brew homemade beers with steady progress.
“Oh, Jay! You’re going out? You got a date, yeah?”
He turned back, revealing the newly grown beer belly.
“What?! Of course not. It’s the shirt right? I look like a try hard.”
”Haha, be careful whose shirt you’re insulting. That was my lucky shirt.”
He misunderstood, I just thought I would look half as in place as he looks if I wear this. I really shouldn’t go.
”You’ll be alright son, you’re a charming young man. People will see that.”
My eardrums are fucking gushing blood.
The Club sound rattled through my bones as random guy number six and random chick number four came.
Dad was right. I was quite charming, TOO charming, even.
“Oh my gosh look at those arms,” running her hand, Random chick number four said.
“He probably has killer abs too. Wanna come home with me tonight, Jock boy?” Random guy number six said.
“Sorry man, I’m straight. I also have a friend waiting for me in the car.” I replied.
“Aww man, too bad. I wanted a dumb jock to rail me tonight.” He said while walking off. Seriously, what is up with people these days?
At least I still have my 16 dollar margarita with me in the corner.
Lost in my head, a potential random guy number seven approaches.
“Hey, what’s a hot guy like you doing in the corner?” Number seven asked.
“Sorry, I’m straight.”
“Ahh, my bad. Worth a shot,” He said.
“Man, why is every Dad bod fuck boys straight? Gay people are too obsessed with their bodies to have the look,” he added.
“What did you say?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I have a thing for guys who look like you. Not really a jock anymore, but still attracts everyone.”
My 16 dollar margarita was spilt.
“Oh, Shit. Sorry I don’t know what to do.” I’m glad to not have a friend in my car waiting to see me embarrass myself.
“Don’t worry man, I’ll handle it.” Number seven said.
I don’t know why I’m doing this. It’s not like I have a Dad bod, is a fuck boy, or even gay. But the guy he described is the kind of masculine, wild man I aspire to be. Not a shit given to what people think. Maybe I can be that guy tonight.
“Sorry I’m not the Dad bod fuck boy you thought I was.”
I already butchered it. Why the hell did I say that? That’s not what a guy without a care in the world would say.
“What if you are.” He reached under my polo and grabbed my abs. Or softer abs, cause he’s clearly grabbing something.
“But I’ve never done this before,” Holy shit, I need to shut the fuck up.
“No worries, you just need to sit back and enjoy.”
I look back at the rotting toilet. Maybe not sit.
“We’re gonna make this quick, alright?” He said. Then gave my stomach a quick squeeze.
I’m telling Mom and Theo to cut back on the food tonight.
He slid down the zipper and tugged on my dick.
“You’re not who I imagined to be, but I like pathetic boys like you too.” He said.
“Wait, what? I - fuuuck.”
He uses his thumb to twirl around my cock head; then the freak proceeds to lick my stomach pudge.
“Fuuuuuuck,” I involuntarily groaned.
“Hahaha, seems like it would be quicker than I thought.”
He laughed. Fucking laughed at me. And my dick is harder than ever before.
Then, out of nowhere. He grabbed my ass and sucked half of my length in.
“Holy sh-“ I yelped
He covered his left hand on my mouth and said hushly. “Jesus, fuck boy! Do you want everyone to hear? I mean it’s hot, but we’ll get kicked out.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve just ohhhhhh.”
He sucked the entire length in as I got into his throat. It’s cold for a second with the air being sucked, then it warms up my dick as I get closer to the edge. And, wait, did I just moan out loud?
Didn’t give me a chance to breathe, he repeated the motion again and again.
I’m really close.
“Not yet fuck boy.” He said as he guided my hand to my pec.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Twist your nipples and do not stop until we’re done.”
Strange request, but it seemed like there was a lot I didn’t know, so I complied.
“I thought only women like this?” I asked as I squeezed my nipples.
He immediately got back to work as if telling me to shut the fuck up.
Then, I feel it.
It might be the cold air conditioning or the fact that I have my cock in someone’s fucking mouth, but my nipples perked up and got sensitive all of a sudden.
He starts to squeeze and rub my stomach as my senses overload.
Once in a while, he would come up with a remark or two.
“I bet you’re the kind of guy that likes to sit around, munch all day, let other people take charge and fuck you,” He said.
”I bet your bubble butt will grow twice as big by the end of the year because you hate the gym deep down,” He said.
It all doesn’t make sense. I only have five, ten tops of weight added, but my dick gets even harder.
“Come on, fuck boy. Twist those fat tits for me,” he said as the sucking picks up the pace.
“Fuck yeah, my fat tits.” It’s all too much for me to form a thought.
“Fuck my fat ass too.”
“Yeah, faster!”
He gave my slight belly a final squeeze as I cummed harder than I’d ever experienced.
I can feel my dick still shooting out cum as I blacked out.
Someone is wiping me.
Oh, right.
“Great, you’re up.” Random man said.
”Huh?”
“It got real messy, eh?” He continues.
“Sorry, I got carried away earlier. You’re just so hot.”
It seems like he’s not going to stop talking.
“You’re obviously still a jock, but hey. A man can dream,” he said
“You’ve got some real potential, kid.” He patted my apparently now-existing belly and said.
I don’t get it. I’ve been eating more than usual lately, and Theo’s snacks don't help, but mom got the ingredients from the farmers market, so they were definitely healthy. Maybe I am missing something else.
“Here,” he hands me a small piece of paper.
“Call me if you want to do this again.”
Then just like that, the strange man leaves.
I didn’t give a second glance at the piece of paper before throwing it in the trash can.
Against my better judgment, I put my hand back in the disgusting trash can.
No harm in keeping it.
The stranger’s words ring in my head as I put an undisclosed sum of money on margaritas.
Maybe I do like being taken care of.
***
My phone vibrated for the thousandth time today, almost causing an earthquake.
“Aggggah, leave me aloneeee. Help me baby Jesus.”
The alcohol from last night, plus the vibration is enough to kill a bear.
Opening the over-lit phone, I see Theo’s happy ginger face.
Theo: Hey Jay, could you help me buy a cookbook I want at the mall, asap?
Me: kys❤️
Mom: Jacob, could you explain the language?
Shit, it's the family chat!
Me: It means keeping yourself safe, mom. I'll go to the mall in a bit!
Theo, the little bastard, replied with a laughing emoji.
Brushing my teeth, I saw myself in the mirror.
Definitely can’t unsee it now. I still have some abs definitions, it’s just pushing out now.
I hesitated, looking at the protein ice cream sandwich mom prepared for me.
Well, I do need something to settle my stomach from the alcohol. Plus, protein is always healthy.
Grabbing a few more ice cream sandwiches, I made my way to the bus.
The mall is located in the middle of nowhere. Nobody comes here except for Costco. Apparently there’s a chain book store too.
Finding the book has been proven difficult. Half the store sells stationery, and the other half sells boring books nobody wants. There is no reason for the store to be this huge.
By the time Theo, the brat, had confirmed the book, it was already past two.
“Hello, excuse me. Is there no restaurant here whatsoever?” I asked the book nerd from the counter.
“Ahhhhh, there’s ahh fast food down the lane, to um, the right?”
“Alright, thanks.” Looks like I’m going to starve myself until I get back.
Going to the bus station, I pass the fast food place. They must have had a rebranding these couple of years. They used to smell like kids puke. Now… it smells like some sweet apple pie, fries, or chicken nuggets? Yeah, definitely some chicken nuggets. Haven’t had them in years.
No. I must not get carried away.
Dad said fast foods are not real food. Ever since he watched the Super Size Me documentary, he banned the whole family from eating fast food, and I thank him for it every day.
Today will be an exception. This will be my reward for going through everything that happened this week.
“So, we have a discount for everyone who uses our app. You can also get points for a free meal in the app.” The fat ass cashier asked.
“Yeah, why not. I could save a few.” Not like I’m going to use it after this.
My hands end up with a combo of fries, burger, nuggets and a medium soda.
While enjoying the smell of garbage goods, I catch a glimpse of an obese guy sitting in the corner.
He looks. Wait, it’s Avery Lancaster.
Holy shit it’s true. He did gain 70 pounds and some more. Looks like he’s in his 300s now.
The image of his fat ass hanging off the seat brought me back to reality.
I will not eat at this restaurant ever again after this meal, so I won’t end up like him.
Except for the fries. The fries are too good to pass.
For The rest of the semester, things went as well as they could.
Homework has been piling up, the professor still hates me, so I have less time to hit the gym.
Sports are enough for me so stay fit anyway. At least until next year’s spring season starts.
Coach has been supportive of my decision to bulk up. He just gave me an ominous warning about off-season athletes bulking too much.
When the Thanksgiving holiday came, I was ready to go on a diet.
After the holidays.
Because mom has seriously improved her skills, and, as much as I don’t wanna say it, Theo’s food is basically tailored made to my taste. They might just be.
I have a sneaking suspicion that they are using Dad and I as testing metrics for their little competitions. Just a suspicion. Because recently Theo started focusing on making food for me, Mom began to make food primarily for Dad.
The suspicious duo seem to have the belief that weight equals love. If that is the case, I am truly screwed. There is no one but dead people who can resist Theo’s cooking. I’ve even been brainwashed to think Theo’s food rants are interesting, that’s how powerful he is.
By the end of the Christmas dinner, I could tell that Theo had probably lost in their competition by the look on his face. I almost felt bad for not eating enough.
It's not like the food wasn’t good; my opponent is Dad. His appetite is unmatched. At the beginning of the year, he barely eats anything for breakfast while keeping his plant-based diet. Now he’s an absolute beast, he can inhale 15 pancakes at the speed of sound. Whatever I’ve gained this year, Dad probably has gained twice as much. He also grew out his beard and body hair which I struggle to do. There is literally no better definition of man than him.
After the Christmas dinner, I went up to assess the damage.
Twenty-two pounds of flabby fat gained this year.
Why don’t I at least look like Dad with a firm, rounded gut? Instead, mine grows around the underbelly, looking like a soft fanny pack.
I need to stop thinking about this. I’m still muscular after all. 215 is nothing compared to the guys on the team.
“Oh, it’s nothing. I have a thing for guys who look like you. Not really a jock anymore, but still attracts everyone.” His voice echoed in my head.
Deleting the notifications from the fast food app, I opened the phone and dialled the number for Random Guy number 7.
Chapter 2 ->
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Femme Fatale Guide: Healthy Habits To Look & Feel Your Best Without Restriction or Unrealistic Routines
Realistic ways to maintain a healthy life/body/appearance (size and weight are all personal, not the most important metric – for certain). No diet culture or delulu-land tips here.
What I've done to maintain my 30-pound weight loss for over a decade, glowing clear skin (no pimples or discoloration, etc.), and super healthy, full & shiny hair, still living life and enjoying it – the mindful way.
Eat home-cooked meals & (plant-based) whole foods – 90-95% of the time
Incorporate at least 1 salad into my daily routine (either a large, hearty lunch salad or a simple green salad as a starter with dinner)
Include at least 1 fruit/vegetable in every meal or snack
Never restrict food groups – whole grains/potatoes, healthy fats, protein-rich plant foods, and produce are all essential to consume every day
Focus on meals, but have whole food snack options on hand to enjoy if genuinely hungry (mainly fruit, lupini beans, edamame, carrots/celery/cucumber with hummus, plain popcorn, handful of almonds/cashews)
Have breakfast after one coffee (before a second) and have dinner late enough (8-9:30 pm) to curb late-night hunger
Only have fruit and tea after dinner; Always stop consuming food at least 3 hours before bed for better sleep/digestion
Order whatever I want when going out to eat, but split dessert
Have at least one indulgent meal/dessert per week
No sugary cocktails – wine, champagne/prosecco, martinis, gin & tonic, margarita, French Connection, Sambuca, Grappa, tequila on the rocks, etc. are great options. Bellinis/fruit plus wine/spirits cocktails are a good middle ground. Sugary drinks worsen the hangover – big-time
Perceive healthy eating as a form of enjoyment, creativity, and nourishment, not restriction or deprivation (it's not if done liberally enough)
Consume a vitamin B12 and vitamin D supplement daily. Keep digestive enzymes on hand for when they're necessary
Always have a large glass of water first thing in the morning (before coffee) and by my side all day long
No soda, juices, sugary drinks, etc. Black coffee, tea, and water only on the daily – wine and no-sugar alcoholic drinks on rare occasions. Smoothies can be a great snack or breakfast, though!
Incorporate an (almost) daily walk into my schedule as a form of exercise and a mental health reset (I aim for 4-5 miles/10Kish steps per day on average)
Do short, low-impact strengthen training exercises 3x a week (15-30 mins each usually) for bone health & toning
Never forcing myself to do strenuous exercise/workout formally in a gym – it's not for me; it doesn't make me feel/look better and throws my hunger & energy levels way off. To each their own, though
Have a variety of playlists ready to go for waking up, working, dancing, walking/workouts, doing chores, and reading/relaxing
Internalizing that sexual health is a core aspect of your health & well-being – on all counts
Maintaining a simple skincare routine 2x per week with high-quality products and a couple of weekly treatments
Prioritizing my body care routine with as much as my facial skincare routine
Wearing at least SPF 30 daily
Exfoliating 2-3x per week
Learning what hair products work for my hair type; Using a deep conditioning mask and a scalp mask weekly
Using only cold water when washing my hair
Incorporating face & body massages into my weekly at-home routine
Using Uriage lip balm, hand cream, and deodorant religiously
Flossing 1-2 times a day/using an electric toothbrush
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