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#high remix ringtone
dilfl0v3rss · 1 year
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Hear me outt 🌝 - jealous ony .. and y/n gets a lil lesson
yes yes yesssssss😩
all mine
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cw: car sex, public sex!!
word count: 1.8k
── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────
ony isn’t the jealous type, having lots of confidence in your love for him. he trusted you with his life and expected you to do the same with him so if there was an issue that had him feeling a little more possessive then it usually had barely anything to do with you. it was these thirsty ass niggas.
“baby please go sit the fuck down. too damn early for you t’be irritating me.” it was nine in the morning and you decided i’d be fun to give ony a little show in the living room, twerking and singing along to different songs playing on youtube. right now the princess dianna remix was playing and you was sitting in his lap, bouncing up and down as if you were riding him. “cmon boy i know you wanna touch all dis.” hands raking all over your body as you looked down at his bored face.
ony wasn’t trying to do nothing but smoke a wood with his breakfast and you were ruining that by putting your tiddies all in his face. “mama go somewhere wit allat before i spank you furreal.” his deep voice rumbled from his chest as he lightly pushed you off of him. this man clearly had an attitude, but you knew his stuck up ass wasn’t gon say nothing about it. “what’s wrong papa? why you so aggy?” you were trying to get him to communicate with you, but quickly changed your mind once he got to sucking his teeth, acting as if you were being a pest or something.
rolling your eyes, you started to say something smart, but we’re cut off by the sound of ony’s ringtone. connie’s contact came up and the way your man moved to grab the phone pissed you tf off. “yoo?……nah i’m just chillin at the crib rn…..of course gang we out.” your hands instantly gravitated towards your hips, weight being supported on one leg as you gave him a stank face. “you out where?”
once again, this sassy ass man sucked his teeth before replying. “finna go hoop wit the guys.” this had to be some type of sick joke. there’s no way this man, YOUR man, the one who literally had an attitude five minutes ago, was suddenly prepped up and ready to go run around with his little friends, but couldn’t even have a little fun with you.
“what about me? you don’t wanna stay wit me today daddy?” voice softening as you leaned down to ony’s face. you looked into his brown eyes as you waited for him to fold. he stared right back at you, licking his lips before his phone buzzed once again, ruining the moment as you seen his group chat start to blow his phone up with messages. “you can come wit me ma, but i wanna go hoop.”
what a fucking joke. you pushed yourself of off where your arms were rested before walking to your room, hips swaying with attitude. you wanted to go to target anyways so you decided you’d go to the park with him just this once to get what you wanted, but you had no intention of speaking to this man until he gave you the attention you deserved.
you sat on the park bench, watching ony get all sweaty and sexy playing with his friends. “cashhh bitch! y’all niggas suck i’m finna start putting money on this shit.” ony chuckled as he watched eren and reiner holding their hands on their knees, clearly out of breath from getting their ass whooped again.
“man fuck you. you and connie don’t even need to be on the same team cause y’all mothafuckas played in high school. if we was on that field you know damn well me and rei would be whooping that ass.” eren and reiner dapped each other up before each of them went to go get some water. ony approached you on the bench, shirt discarded somewhere near the courts, chest glistening with sweat as he practically snatched the water from in front of you and drank it.
“excuse me you fucking beast. at least ask.” you reached to snatch the water back, but he just held it higher so you couldn’t reach, giving you a warning glacé. “girl watch your mouth ‘fore i embarrass you in this park.” you rolled your eyes, plopping yourself back in your seat and pulling out your phone. “just go play wit ya little boyfriends ony.” you mumbled, texting on your phone as if you said nothing.
ony clearly didn’t hear you, walking back to go set up another game. “excuse me. this seat taken?” you turned around with attitude, still pissed at your stupid ass boyfriend. when you looked up at where the voice was coming from you were surprised to see a very handsome older man staring back at you. “nah you good. s’just me.” the man smiled at you, gladly taking a seat while digging in his back for his sneakers. “aww that’s a shame. why’s a pretty girl like you at the park all alone?”
you were going to correct him and let him know that you meant alone on the bench, not alone at the park, but your words were soon forgotten. “i’m zeke, eren’s brother. you a friend of his?” you nodded your head, voice stuck in your throat as zeke chuckled at your lack of reply. “you don’t talk much do ya? that’s fine. how about you give me your number and i’ll do all the talking.” as handsome as he was, you were a loyal woman and only wanted to be with one man.
you opened your mouth to politely shoot him down when you were interrupted. “nah she good.” ony’s lower stomach was was right behind your head as you and zeke looked up at him. face showing signs of irritation as he stood over you with his arms crossed on his chest. zeke held his hands up in defense as he practically rats you out. “i mean no harm, the pretty lady said she was here alone so i asked for her number. i had no idea.”
you looked up at your boyfriend, giving him a shy smile as you practically smelled the jealousy coming off of him. “uhh we’ll since that’s outta the way, you guys got room for one more?” zeke stood up, clearly uncomfortable with the tense energy being emitted from the both of you right now. “go ahead man, m’just leaving.” the blonde man gave him a small nod before leaving the two of you alone. “baby it’s not what is lo-”
“get in the car mama, we going home.”
the two of you didn’t even make is home, legs spread in the passenger seat as ony had one hand caressing the back of your neck while the other was buried deep in your panties. you’ve tried explaining the situation many times, and he seemed to understand what really happened, but he still fingered you with so much vigor that you couldn’t help but feel he was upset with you. “p-please papa i didn’t do anything wrongggg. it was just mis-miscommunication.”
his fingers dug into you deeper, nodding to you in understanding as he sucked hickies into your neck. “i know mama. i know. it’s just…just-” “jus’ what daddy? what i do?” a soft sigh left your lips at ony’s fingers left your hole, lifting to your clit before rubbing it slowly. “ion like seeing you talk to men ion know.” his fingers moved faster, making you shake under his arm as your release approached.
“i didn’t k-know. m’sorryyyy” your climax was at the tip of your tongue, but before long it was ripped away. ony leaned back in his seat before pulling his shorts and boxers below his hips. dick standing tall against his stomach as his hands moved towards your hips. “it’s okay princes. ima teach you, and make sure you never forget.”
though ony had a soft smile on his face, his grip on your hips was tight as he lifted you over the center console. your sundress was bunched up at your stomach so your boyfriend had easy access to your pretty pussy. he waisted no time ripping your panties in the middle and lining himself up with your tight entrance. “no screaming, no running, no crying, understand?”
before you could answer a scream erupted from your throat as ony slammed you down on his dick. “the fuck i just say mama?” large hands squeezing your ass tightly as he continued bouncing you up and down on his lap. lewd moans flew from your lips as you felt how delicious your walls felt against him. “i know it feel good, but i need you to stay quiet f’me okay? we still in public.” your eyes migrated toward the tinted windows, getting a good view of the still occupied park as well as you friends playing basketball.
“i’ll be quiet, promise.” your lips connected, dancing sloppily with each other before ony spoke into your mouth. “good girl.” his dick began kissing your cervix, palms taking up most of the space of your ass. “you mine right?” the two of you were eye to eye as he moved his hand to your neck, a silent command for you to bounce on your own as he continued thrusting from under you.
“y-yes daddy. only yours.” ony smiled at your response, rewarding you by angling his hips upward in the way that makes you want to melt into him. “this my pussy ain’t it?” he took your wrists, holding them behind your back as the two of you made love chest to chest. you moaned his name repeatedly like a prayer until you felt the urge to pee. “your heart, mind, and body. who’s is it?”
you felt your climax once again, this time stronger than before. pussy already leaking so much that it wet the seats under you as you continued fucking yourself onto ony’s dick. he knew you were close when you clenched tightly around him, clearly holding your release in so you can ask for permission. a wide smile crept into his face as he watched how obedient you were. “answer me and you can cum mama. who you belong to?”
“y-you daddyyy.” usually this answer would’ve satisfied him, but your boyfriend was in a different type of mood today. “nah princess say my name. my real name.” your pussy fluttered around him in delight, loving every second of this moment as you began kissing up his chest. ony shivered under you when you reached his neck, stopping right behind his ear. “i’m all y-yours. on-onyankoponnnn.”
your orgasm crashed down in waves, making you shake as your juices ran down his thighs. your boyfriend wasn’t far behind you, shooting his load deep inside you while holding your body on his. “that’s my good girl. never forget that either.”
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playedcrowd5610 · 6 months
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What If... The Bat's Answered Phantom's Phone?
Set as an AU at the end of Chapter 2 of "A Little Overshadowing Never Hurt Anyone" But can be read as an independent oneshot <3
—"What were you doing in Gotham?" The Dark Knight demanded, ignoring the ghost boy's previous comment.
"Just hanging out. I don't have any real reason to be here. Wanted to see the sights, I guess." Danny shrugged, trying to play it off. It was a lie, but he couldn't tell him anything about his parents or the ghost-hunting convention, since there could be a chance he could figure out Danny’s identity that way. 
Once again, Batman's expression didn't change, just as stone-cold as ever. That was annoying. Normally Danny was really good at reading people. Especially ghosts. It was much easier for them to read each other with their cores and emotions. But with humans, it was much harder. Especially this human.
Suddenly Danny jumped at the sound of his phone ringing… and he knew it was his phone because a remix of the “Ghostbusters theme” was playing.  Danny put his head down covering his face with his hands,  He really shouldn't worry about being embarrassed while being kidnapped with a bunch of ghost tech in some eccentric white guy's creepy bat basement, yet here we are.
The only other person in the room besides Batman stood up. It was the boy in the domino mask., Robin? Wait- Weren’t there multiple now?  Danny couldn’t keep track anymore.  Either way, emo mini Bat jr, a coffee in his hand, walked over to a table filled with ghost-hunting weapons, the majority of which was his parents’ designs.  Danny felt a shiver go down his spine and pushed himself back a bit further in the cage. His fear did not go unnoticed by the boy, who glanced sideways with a frown.
He reached down and started going through the pockets of a belt that lay on the table as the phone kept blaring loudly, Danny glanced down to his waist. He didn’t even realize that they had removed the phone until just now.  Finally, the teenage boy managed to wrangle it out of one of the pockets and held it high in victory before looking at the caller ID.
“B,” The kid started.  “It’s someone named Jazz.”  Danny’s eyes widened. He knew she would be worried right now!   And what was the one thing she told him before he went into Gotham? ‘Danny, stay away from all of those Gotham vigilantes tonight — it can be dangerous.’ The phone abruptly stopped ringing, and Danny breathed a sigh of relief.  But then the boy started scrolling through the phone, or at least the lock screen. “Dozens of missed messages and three missed calls.”  He raised an eyebrow at Danny as if waiting for him to respond.
“She worries.”  Danny shrugs before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  Suddenly, the phone blares to life again. Danny’s ears twitch at the sound.  The ringtone starts again.  
“Bring it here, Red Robin,”  Batman says, holding out his hand.  Well, at least Danny now knows his name.   He narrows his eyes at the device like it is somehow out to get him and his whole family.  Danny would have laughed at the expression if he weren’t terrified for his afterlife right now.  After a couple of seconds, it stopped, only to restart again quickly after.
“She is not going to stop until you answer!”  Danny snaps, annoyed.  Batman seems to be in thought for a moment before holding the phone in between the vigilantes and the ghost, hitting answer on speakerphone.  Danny’s eyes widened instantly, in shock that he answered it. Danny was mostly kidding, he didn’t expect the Dark Knight to really answer! Now what should he do?
“Danny, oh my word! Where are you?!! I swear to Clockwork, if you got yourself hurt or anything… I’ve been worried sick! And with all of those hunters around! I told you to be careful, and to come back soon!  You were just getting air! Please tell me you’re okay.”  Danny winced back at every part of the call, but everyone in the room had their eyes glued to the phone, undoubtedly absorbing all the information Danny just gave them.  
“Jazz, Jazz I’m fine!”  Red Robin looked over at Danny as if to say, ‘You don’t look fine.’  Danny glared back his best ‘Mind your own damn business response..
“Danny, where are you?  I’ve been holding off mom and dad for as long as I can.”  Danny winced and winced hard, glancing up at the two listening into the conversation, looming over him.  “Right now they think you’re at the library, and it’s the middle of the night!”
Danny laughed nervously.  “Jazz, don’t worry, I’ll be okay, I always am.  I just got a bit lost and sensed a soul eater so I followed to find out if they were okay.  He saw Batman narrow his eyes again (if that was even possible — they should be closed at this point) at he mention of ‘soul eater’. 
 Danny felt slightly offended for them, but they did have a strange name.  For your information, soul eaters are just ghosts who need energy or ectoplasm to survive and make a body. They have to either take it from others or absorb it in an ectoplasm-rich environment, and if Danny has some to spare, he normally shares Soul eaters are a step above echo ghosts.  Two of the ones Danny had encountered were Spectra, who absorbed children’s emotions as a therapist to give herself a body, and Shadow, the ghost that has bonded itself to Johnny 13 in order to get as much ectoplasm as he needs in return for helping Johnny.  But enough of that rant.
“Okay, but you better be back soon okay?  Especially with all the hunters around. I don’t want you getting captured!”  
Danny glanced up at the two bats and laughed awkwardly.  “Ah yeah, we don’t want that happening now.  Just don’t worry too much, Jazz; get some rest, I’ll catch up with you later.”
“You better!”  Batman then pulled his gloved finger up and pressed the hang-up button.
Danny scowled up at the man, “There, you happy?  You got all that information out of me. You seem proud of yourself.”  Danny went to lean back, but burned himself on the bars, flinching as he felt the stinging sensation on his shoulder, hissing and baring his fangs.
Batman said nothing. It looked like his little robin was about to pitch in but then thought better of it and slinked away.  Suddenly, there was a ping on Batman’s belt.  He looked at it for only a second before stating “I have to go. Red Robin, stay here.”
)-(
Danny was staring down at the floor of his cage as he now floated cross-legged just above the ground.  What was he supposed to do now? Batman was gone and Red Robin was now pacing around the cave, either doing wide circles around the cage or just pacing around the whole cave in general. It looked like he was also kind of muttering to himself. Kind of strange, but Danny did the same so who was he to judge?  But the important thing was he never let the cage out of his line of sight.  He almost felt like Danny was being hunted by a shark at the rate this guy was going.
Danny knew he needed to escape somehow.  He glanced again over all of those weapons on the desk. He needed to get out of here, and quickly He knows that even though he called, Jazz would still be worried.  But with Red Robin ever on the lookout, that would be hard.
It would be hard to rewire the whole cage, especially because Red Robin keeps silently watching him — it's kinda creepy. Danny grabbed onto his hair and pulled, unsure of what to do.  Suddenly there was a clanging sound and Danny jumped, eyes darting around until he noticed that Red Robin was staring up at him right in front of the cage. His hands were on the door.
Danny stared at him, puzzled, and tilted his head to the side, eyes glued to each other in the tense moment.  Suddenly, the boy’s hands started moving and he was unlocking the cage. Danny’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?”  He asked, still stunned that the kid had come so close.  
The boy paused for a moment, thinking to himself. “Letting you out.”  The door swung open with Tim holding it and staring at the ghost expectantly.  Danny stayed where he was in the cage, floating, unsure of whether or not to trust this new opportunity.
“What about Batman, won't he be mad at you?”  Danny asked, surprised his Robin would go against him like this. 
“I think…”  Red Robin paused.  “I think Batman would understand, and I think we were wrong about ghosts,  I was stupid to go along with this. Anyone who’d spend more than five minutes with you would know you are a sentient, innocent, person...  I’m sorry.”
Danny laughed awkwardly, “Wow, you're the first person to say that in a long time.”  Red Robin returned with a light smile, almost a grimace.
“Here, let's get you out of here before B gets back.”  He reached down and grabbed onto Danny's arm, pulling him out of the cage and leading him through the cave. Normally, Danny would have flinched at being grabbed, but this… wasn't so bad. 
---
Tim led them through the tunnels underneath Wayne's manor to not reveal their identities, he knew the tunnels by heart and managed to make enough turns that Danny couldn't follow them back.
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Brinkwhump Linkdump
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I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then San Francisco (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!
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Once again, I find myself arriving at the weekend with a giant backlog of links, triggering a linkump, the 15th such dumpage, a variety-pack of miscellany for your weekend. Here's the previous editions:
https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/
Let's start with the latest incredible news from KPMG, the accounting and auditing giant that is relied upon as a source of ground truth for a truly terrifying share of the world's economy. KPMG has a well-deserved reputation for incompetence and corruption. They first came on my radar in 2001 when they sent a legal threat to a blogger for linking to their website without permission:
https://memex.craphound.com/2001/12/05/reason-4332442-not-to-ask/
The actual link was to KPMG's corporate anthem, which remains, to this day, a banger:
https://web.archive.org/web/20040428063826/http://chkpt.zdnet.com/chkpt/uknewsita/http://anthems.zdnet.co.uk/anthems/kpmg.mp3
Don't miss the DJ remixes (and the Nokia ringtone!) that the internet thoughtfully provided when KPMG decided that it didn't want the world to know about "Our Vision of Global Strategy":
https://web.archive.org/web/20011128153057/http://corporateanthems.raettig.org/
Now all this is objectively very funny, a relic of the old, good internet from one of its moments of glory, but KPMG? They were already enshittifying, even in 2001, and the enshittification only intensified thereafter. Nearly every accounting scandal of the past quarter-century has KPMG in it somewhere, from con-artists selling exhausted oil fields to rubes:
https://www.desmog.com/2021/06/03/miller-energy-kpmg-auditors-oil-fraud/
To killer nursing homes that hire KPMG to audit its books – and to advise it on how to defeat safety audits and murder your grandma:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/09/dingo-babysitter/#maybe-the-dingos-ate-your-nan
They're the architects of Microsoft's tax-evasion plot:
https://www.propublica.org/article/the-irs-decided-to-get-tough-against-microsoft-microsoft-got-tougher
And they were behind Canada's dysfunctional covid contact-tracing app, which never worked, but generated tens of millions in billings to the government of Canada, who used KPMG to hire programmers at $1,500/day, plus KPMG's 30% commission:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/31/mckinsey-and-canada/#comment-dit-beltway-bandits-en-canadien
KPMG's most bizarre scandal is literally stranger than fiction. The company bribed SEC personnel help its own accountants cheat on ethics exams. The corrupt officials were then given high-paid jobs at KPMG:
https://www.nysscpa.org/news/publications/the-trusted-professional/article/sec-probe-finds-kpmg-auditors-cheating-on-training-exams-061819
I mean it when I say this is stranger than fiction. I included it as a plot-point in my new finance crime novel The Bezzle (now a national bestseller!), and multiple readers have written to me since the book came out a couple weeks ago to say that they thought I was straining their credulity by making up such an outrageous scandal:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle
But all of that is just scene-setting (and a gratuitous plug for my book) for the latest KPMG scandal, which is, possibly, the most KPMG scandal of all KPMG scandals. The Australian government hired KPMG to audit Paladin, a security contractor that oversees the asylum seekers the country locks up on one of its island gulags (yes, gulags, plural).
Ever since, Paladin has been the subject of a string of ghastly human rights scandals – the worst stuff imaginable, rape and torture and murder of adults and children. Paladin made AU423 million on this contract.
And here's the scandal: KPMG audited the wrong company. The Paladin that the Australia government paid KPMG to audit was based in Singapore. The Paladin that KPMG audited was a totally different company, based in Papua New Guinea, who already had a commercial relationship with KPMG. It was this colossal fuckup that led to the manifestly unfit Singaporean company getting nearly half a billion dollars in public funds:
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2024/feb/24/incredible-failure-kpmg-rejects-claims-it-assessed-the-wrong-company-before-423m-payment-to-paladin
KPMG denies this. KPMG denies everything, always. Like, they denied creating "power maps" of decision-makers in the Australian government to target with influence campaigns in order to win contracts like this one. Who knows, maybe, this one time, they're telling the truth? After all, the company whose employees gather to sing lyrics like these can't be all bad, right?
The time is now to lead the way, We share the same the idea That may win by the end of the day. Our strength is here to stay. Identity, one energy, One strategy, with sympathy. These are the words that will lead us into a new world.
https://everything2.com/title/KPMG+corporate+anthem
You may find it strange that I'm still carrying around the factoid that KPMG once threatened to crush a blogger for linking to its terrible corporate anthem, but that's just my "Memex Method," which helps me keep track of literally everything that seemed important to me through most of my adult life:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/
One of my favorite quips from the very quotable Riley Quinn is that "leftists are cursed with object-permanence" – that is, we actually remember what just happened and use it to think about what's happening now. The Memex Method is object permanence for 20+ years worth of stuff. A lot of those deep archives never see use, but there's a surprising number of leading indicators buried in the stuff that happened in years gone by.
Take James Boyle's 2014, XKCD-style comic about the experience of driving a notional Apple car:
https://www.thepublicdomain.org/2014/11/07/apple-updates-a-comic/
Apple, it turns out, spent the next decade working on just such a car, and while that car has now been canceled, Boyle's comic correctly anticipates so much about the trajectory Apple's products took. It's uncannily accurate – real "don't invent the torment nexus"/"cyberpunk was a warning, not a suggestion" stuff:
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/torment-nexus
But no matter how many times we insist that the torment nexus shouldn't be created, the boardrooms of end-stage capitalism continue to invent them. Take HP, the poster-child for enshittification, edging out even KPMG in the race to turn everything into a pile of shit. After years of tormenting people to punish them for wanting to print things, HP has announced a new service that so mustache-twirlingly evil that it lacks verisimilitude:
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/02/hp-wants-you-to-pay-up-to-36-month-to-rent-a-printer-that-it-monitors/
Here's the pitch: HP will sell you a printer that you don't own. In addition to paying a monthly fee for your ink – which you pay no matter whether you print or not – you will also pay a monthly fee just for having HP's printer on your premises. You are absolutely, positively forbidden from using third-party ink in this printer, and must use HP's own ink, which sells for about $10,000/gallon.
But while you aren't allowed to use this printer in ways that are bad for HP's shareholders, HP is absolutely free to use the printer in ways that are bad for you. When you click through the signup agreement, you grand HP permission to surveil every document you print – and your home wifi network more generally – and to sell that data to anyone and everyone.
What's more, HP reserves the right to discipline you with punitive credit-card charges if you disconnect this printer from the internet, on the basis that doing so makes it harder for them to spy on your printer.
I'm sorry, this is just more torment nexus shit, the kind of thing you'd expect to drop on Apr 1, not Feb 29, but I guess this is where we are. I can only conjecture as to whether HP's businesses strategists are directly taking direction from my novella "Unauthorized Bread," or whether they're learning about it second-hand from a KPMG consultant who converted it to Powerpoint form and charged $1,500/day for the work:
https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/
All of this cartoonish villainry is the totally foreseeable consequence of a culture of impunity, in which companies like HP and KPMG can rob, cheat, steal (and sometimes even kill) without consequence. This impunity is so pervasive that the exceptions – where a rich criminal faces real consequences – become touchstones: Enron, Arthur Anderson, Theranos, and, of course, FTX.
FTX was arguably the largest-scale corporate crime in world history, stealing more than $10 billion dollars, mostly from rubes sucked in by hype and Superbowl ads. When news that FTX founder and owner Sam Bankman-Fried was convicted of fraud and was in for a lengthy prison sentence made a huge stir, because criminals like SBF usually walk away from the wreckage with their hands in their pockets, whistling a jaunty tune.
One of the very best commentators on cryptocurrency scams generally and FTX/SBF in particular is Molly White, whose Web3 is Going Just Great feed is utterly indispensable. White's newsletter, "Citation Needed," dives deep into the wrangle of SBF's sentencing:
https://www.citationneeded.news/issue-52/
Bankman-Fried's parents – prominent law professors at top law schools – helped brief the court this week on their son's punishment. According to them, SBF faces 100 years in prison, but should be sentenced to 5.5-6.5 years at the most. Why? Because he is a vegan, who is not greedy, and feels remorse, and cares for individuals (recall that SBF presented himself as the avatar of the batshit "effective altruism" philosophy while privately admitting that he used this as a smokescreen).
The most bizarre note in the 100-page filing is SBF's mother declaring that her son is an "angel of mercy," apparently unaware of the grisly meaning of that term:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_of_mercy_(criminology)
America's prisons are a travesty and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, but that's not the argument SBF's parents are making; rather, they're arguing that their special boy doesn't deserve the treatment America metes out to poorer, less white people who merely steal hundreds or thousands of dollars. A crook who steals ten billion should be handled the way a casino handles a whale – with concierge service.
The problem is, there are so many of these remorseless, relentless crooks that there's no way we could scale up that white-glove treatment when we finally round 'em all up and make them pay. Writing for The American Prospect, Maureen Tkacik tells us about the ransomware attack that shut down America's pharmacy system last month:
https://prospect.org/health/2024-03-01-zoomer-hackers-shut-down-unitedhealthcare/
The attack brought down Change Healthcare, part of the monopolist Unitedhealth, which serves as the "pharmacy benefit manager" to a vast swathe of American pharmacies. PBM is one of those all-American finance scams, a middleman garlanded with performative complexity put there to make you feel stupid for asking why independent pharmacies all have to pay rent to this malicious, unaccountable – and now, manifestly incompetent – gang of crooks.
Tkacik's breakdown of this scam – and how it rendered Americans' ability to get the drugs they depend on to go on breathing – is characteristically brilliant. Tcacik is fast emerging as my favorite Explainer of Scams, a print version of John Oliver or Adam Conover. You may recall her work from my post last week on how private equity has taken a wrecking ball to America's hospitals:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/28/5000-bats/#charnel-house
I always try to finish these linkdumps with some upbeat news to carry you through the weekend, and this week brought two genuinely wonderful – and totally underreported – pieces of amazing news.
The first is that Starbucks has sued for peace in the war against its workers' unions. Hundreds of Starbucks stores have unionized in recent years, but not one of them had a contract. Instead, Starbucks had waged dirty war on their own workers, from denying gender-affirming care to unionized employees to simply shutting down whole stores after they voted to unionize:
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/14/starbucks-union-company-threatens-that-unionizing-could-jeopardize-gender-affirming-health-care.html
But the workers held fast and after years of this, Starbucks has caved, promising contracts for all unionized stores and an end to its campaign of terror against workers seeking to unionize more of its stores. In a postmortem for Jacobin, Eric Blanc rounds up "seven lessons from Starbucks workers' historic victory":
https://jacobin.com/2024/02/starbucks-sbwu-contract-bargaining/
This is the kind of listicle I can get behind. According to Blanc, the Starbucks unions won by deploying worker-to-worker organizing, a tactic that many of the new unions that are shaking up formerly impossible-to-organize jobsites are using (Blanc has a book about this coming from UC Press called "We Are the Union: How Worker-to-Worker Unionism Can Transform America," so he should know).
Other tactics that made the difference for Starbucks unions: new digital training and support tools and partnering with established unions for support and infrastructure. Blanc also calls out the success of "salting" – the venerable but largely disused tactic of union organizers applying for a job at a non-union shop in order to organize it.
Blanc also mentions government policy, including the outstanding work of NLRB general counsel Jennifer Abruzzo, a shrewd and committed tactician whose understanding of the technicalities of labor law have let her push for bold measures. For example, in Thrive Pet Care, Abruzzo is arguing that when a company refuses to bargain in good faith for a contract with its union, she can step in and order them to honor the terms of a contract at comparable unionized competitors until they produce a contract of their own:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth
Abruzzo is one of several smart, competent tacticians in the Biden administration who are working to kneecap corporate power. Another is Rohit Chopra, chair of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau, who just announced another bold, important initiative that will help Americans fight corporate corruption and get a fair deal:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-03-01-public-option-credit-card-shopping/
Chopra is taking aim at credit-card comparison sites that purport to show you where you can get the best deal. If you're an affluent person who doesn't carry a balance, this might not matter to you, but if you're an average working stiff, high interest rates can gobble up a massive share of your paycheck. What's more, credit card margins are higher than they have ever been:
https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/credit-card-interest-rate-margins-at-all-time-high/
The most expensive credit cards come from the big, monopolistic banks, but you wouldn't know it from the leaderboards produced by Credit Karma, NerdWallet, LendingTree, and Bankrate. All of these sites take bribes from the big banks to list their credit cards above those offered by credit unions – who are typically 10% cheaper than the big banks' cards.
The new CFPB rule prohibits this fraudulent ranking, but the Bureau is going even further. They're using their administrative powers to force banks to report their rates to the Bureau, which will publish them on a publicly funded, neutral website – what David Dayen calls "a public option" for shopping for credit cards.
This policy makes a perfect bookend to the last CFPB initiative I wrote about here: a rule that forces banks to allow you to transfer your account to a rival with a couple of simple clicks, importing all your history, payees, and everything else you need to switch to a better bank:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/21/let-my-dollars-go/#personal-financial-data-rights
Combine that ease of switching with reliable information on which banks will give you the best deal and you get something that will directly transfer millions and millions of dollars from giant, wildly profitable banks to low-income people who've been tricked into paying them punitive interest rates.
So that's it, this week's linkdump. I promised you I'd end on a high note, and I did it. The world may be full of all kinds of terrible things, but workers and regulators are scoring big, muscular victories in battles where the stakes are real and important. Have a great weekend – we've earned it.
And remember!
The time is now to lead the way, We share the same the idea That may win by the end of the day. Our strength is here to stay. Identity, one energy, One strategy, with sympathy. These are the words that will lead us into a new world.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/02/macedoine/#the-public-option
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Image: Stacy (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/notahipster/4402860361/
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
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leelee120000 · 9 months
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Looking Back On: Panic! At The Disco, “Vices and Virtues”
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April 27, 2020
“Vices and Virtues” is pure steampunk in aesthetic and sound. It was the newest Panic! At The Disco album when I got into them in early 2011. It’s so good but I should stress that these articles cover my favorite albums – not the albums I think are technically the best – because If that were the case, I’d be writing about “Pretty. Odd.” (2008). Nothing else in emo can compare to it and most fans cite it as P!ATD’s best work. 
The album even received a short film! (Source: Youtube/Fueled by Ramen)
The album “Vices and Virtues” starts with “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” with its dark, moody tone and strong strings it sets the bar for new-wave baroque pop and immediately shakes away any fears of this being a basic album. The music video is wonderful and only builds upon the aesthetic as it takes place at a funeral. I won’t spoil the twist ending but it’s great. 
“Let’s Kill Tonight” is one of my all-time favorite P!ATD songs, placing among my top three. So everything has to be perfect when it comes to that level of my standards. The strings, the lyrics, the speed, the story is all breathtaking and accompanied by the music video, it is a song that well-defines the album. 
“Hurricane” is so good. I love the elevator-music-style intro right before the song shifts into high gear, it’s such an appreciated change of pace before such an intense song. The following track, “Memories” being next to “Hurricane” is so natural; they fit so well together. The lyrics in “Memories” talk of a young love that burnt out fast and the “Hurricane” is song about a fast young love.
Next is “Trade Mistakes.” If I haven’t gushed enough about the strings on this album, here, I have to. They fit so well. The chime noise is so weirdly creative but works so well. Perhaps it’s because of my own orchestra background, but the string work makes this album for me. 
“Ready To Go (Get Me Out of My Mind)” is next. Hot take here: the music video is amazing with its time travel storyline and isn’t too crazy for the album. I know that it got a lot of hate when it came out for ���breaking” the narrative and I get that but I think that it works! Honestly, I used to hate it but I’ve grown to appreciate it.
“Always” makes me want to cry but in a good way. It was the first album released after the band split up which makes the emotion behind the post-split hit so hard. “Always” feels like it was written for the other bandmates. The emotion of “The Calendar” is so good. The ending acts as an intermission for the album. 
“Sarah Smiles” was written to woo Sarah, the woman who eventually became Brendon’s wife. It is so cute. I adore it with such romantic lyrics like “Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn’t care, She lives in her world, so unaware. Does she know that my destiny lies with her?” and “Oh Sarah, are you saving me?”
“Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met…)” is such a good song. The demo version, remixed with the final cut became my ringtone for years. Nothing beats the intro after the choir singing and the strings. It feels the most like a Bohemian Rasphody echo with the multiple songs in one song. The transition between the intro to the bass really makes this song. 
Now onto the bonus tracks. “Kaleidoscope Eyes” is a great song but it ranks lower than the rest. It feels the most basic with generic lyrics and it would’ve tanked the album if it wasn’t a bonus.
“Oh Glory (Demo)” is amazing and clicks with the album but I understand why it wasn’t included as it feels uncompleted. 
“Stall Me” is such a bop, but I think the emotions around the break-up explain why it stayed as a bonus having two split songs would’ve been excessive.
The last few rapid-fire thoughts, “Bittersweet” is so well known, so I don’t even think of it as a bonus. “I Wanna Be Free” fits really well with “Ready To Go.” I think it was cut due to similarity. “Turn Off The Lights” should have made it to the album; it’s too good to have been a bonus.
LeAnne McPherson
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goldenguillotines · 2 years
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★ what kind of phone do they have?
Latest and greatest. High tech and fancy. She only got it because her old one was cracked after she got into a disagreement with Masayo.. a little bit of rough housing happened.. she doesn't actually use it all that much. Has some over the top case on it that she spent too much time decorating but it won't break!
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Some silly remix of a cats Meow or some popular tiktok audio that was catchy to her. She doesn't spice it up for different people tragically. People will find it annoying. Likes listening to a full ring..
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Polaroids of her friends.. drivers license.. credit card.. debit.. a few deal cards.. business cards for her tattoo shop.. and a bit of cash in case some place doesn't take her card. She doesn't load it up too much. She also keeps her coins in a coin purse she got as a gift from Riaske.. but that she makes Katz carry.
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ringtonesong · 7 months
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lemonringtones · 1 year
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kivewor · 2 years
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I think people think I’m joking when I say I legit set timers for chapter releases on Class Act
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mandareeboo · 4 years
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SU Music Rankings
Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.
I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.
Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.
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1.) Change
Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 
If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.
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2.) Change Your Mind
This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 
As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.
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3.) Drift Away
This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.
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4.) Here We Are In The Future
THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.
This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.
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5.) Let’s Only Think About Love
Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.
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6.) Here Comes A Thought
This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.
And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.
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7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?
Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!
There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.
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8.) Stronger Than You
Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa
To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.
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9.) Other Friends
I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.
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10.) Independent Together
This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it
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11.) Who We Are
Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.
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12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)
It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 
I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!
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13.) Something Entirely New
I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.
And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.
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14.) I’m Just a Comet
The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.
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15.) Do It For Her
This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”
Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.
Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.
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16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)
I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.
Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.
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17.) Full Disclosure
This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 
The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.
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18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?
I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.
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19.) Tower of Mistakes
This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.
Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.
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20.) On the Run
I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 
The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.
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21.) Be Wherever You Are
This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.
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22.) Familiar
I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.
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23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart
Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one
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24.) What Can I Do?
I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.
Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.
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25.) Cookie Cat
I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”
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26.) Giant Woman
I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 
The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.
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27.) Strong in the Real Way
This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 
And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?
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28.) That Distant Shore
I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.
But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.
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29.) Dear Old Dad
I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.
Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.
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