#his disrespectful behavior is just a way to keep himself from being vulnerable

[seireitonin]

Hii, you asked for requests! x3

Can u tell us more about the Jeff x Nina dynamic? Or any Jeff hcs if you haven't done it already?

Actually I’ve talked about this before! Both in my Jeff hcs and Nina hcs! Just search for it on my tumblr if you wanna read them! But I’ll try and summarize them here lol

Nina and Jeff dynamic hcs (summarized)

Jeff veiws himself as perfect and is extremely self centered

Almost like a god

So when Nina became obsessed with him he decided to “grant her” the wish of being just like him and belonging to him

He veiws himself as Nina’s creator

Nina would do whatever he said when he said it

When they slept next to each other, he would trace her smile that matched his

“So beautiful, just like I made you”

Literally veiws Nina as his god given gift and right

He actually does “love her” in his own way

Although he’d never admit that

He’s obsessed with her

The way she admired and worshiped him

The way she wanted to be like him

The way she’s so anything for him

He “loved” her

Nina sees Jeff as the man who “saved her”

It was because she wanted to be like him that she was able to fight her bullies off and escape her home life

Jeff is the one that gives her “love” and praise

Especially when she does what he says

It’s like a drug to her

His “love” and praise

They feed each others addictions and behaviors

Nina not knowing better, doesn’t know that it’s bad for her

Jeff is her first “relationship”

She didn’t have a healthy one to ever look to

She just wanted someone to love her and keep her safe

Jeff loved her right?

He would give her small gifts and praise so he loved her right?

He only called her beautiful when he traced them smile he gave her

He only touched her when he needed something from her or when she was sleeping

He doesn’t want to be vulnerable with her

In his own way he’s scared of being abandoned or unloved

But his personality is horrible and won’t change so he’ll manipulate people, especially Nina to stay with him

Why change when you’re perfect?

Toby eventually brings Nina to her senses and shows her what a healthy relationship is

Toby had experience being in a healthy one

And Nina leaves

Jeff hates her for it and is trying to manipulate her to come back to him because at the same time he’s obsessed with her and loves her

Jeff’s trying to kill Toby

Not only because he took Nina, but Toby and Jeff were close friends prior to this

So he got betrayed by 2 people

Jeff sees Nina as his creation and right so Toby taking her away is the ultimate form of disrespect to him

Hates seeing them happy together

And is plotting his revenge on them every day

(But seriously, read the in depth hcs :3)

[storytellerslense]

JJ Maybank Character Analysis

Why a pairing of Kiara and JJ would hardly work under real-life circumstances

Screenwriters love messy romantic storylines because drama sells and keeps us all on the edge of our seats. Complicated relationships filled with "OMG, did that just happen?" moments push characters to grow and show off their deeper sides, making them more relatable. Plus, they mirror our own love life dramas (or lack thereof) and give us an escape from reality. The whole "will they or won’t they" vibe keeps us binge-watching season after season, completely invested in their rollercoaster romance.

But let's get real for a sec—these chaotic love stories shouldn't be your blueprint for a real-life relationship.

That being said, it might not be the popular opinion, but Kiara would be the worst match for JJ. In real life, their relationship would quickly go downhill, and here's why:

JJ's been crushing on Kiara since Season 1. His feelings have been solid, even while she was off exploring things with John B. and Pope even though she often treated him badly, commenting on almost all of his actions with sarcasm and disregard.

There are a lot of examples, especially in the first two seasons, where Kiara is being disrespectful and sarcastic towards JJ. It actually seems like she doesn't care for him at all

That's why Kiara’s sudden interest in JJ, after her flings with the other guys, raises some eyebrows. Is she really into JJ, or is this about rebelling against her parents or wanting a “fixer-upper” project?

JJ and Kiara would make a perfect example for a toxic relationship

Kiara's and JJ's core personalities and backgrounds clash in fundamental ways. JJ, with his ADHD-like tendencies, impulsive nature, and carefree, rebellious attitude, often acts without thinking, seeking thrills and living in the moment. This behavior is in stark contrast to Kiara’s strong morals, rule-following disposition, and the disciplined upbringing she received from her wealthy household and good education. While JJ's spontaneity might seem exciting, it conflicts with Kiara’s structured approach to life.

Kiara is feeding into JJ's insecurities

She tends to be judgmental, especially towards behaviors that deviate from her values, which can make it hard for her to fully understand or accept JJ’s way of coping with his challenges.

JJ grew up in an abusive household with a neglectful and violent father. This messed up his self-esteem, emotional health, and understanding of relationships. He’s conditioned to accept unhealthy dynamics and put others first, often at his own expense.

Kiara, on the other hand, had a cushy, stable upbringing with overprotective parents. This gave her strong convictions and a clear sense of right and wrong but also left her with high expectations and a need to maintain a certain image.

Kiara’s strong will and idealism can sometimes make her judgmental and inflexible, especially toward those who don't see things her way.

Opposites attract: the more differences, the better the story

She might struggle to fully get the depth of JJ's trauma and how it shapes his behavior. His impulsiveness and reckless behavior, driven by a need to survive his trauma, often clash with Kiara's moral convictions. His actions aren't about seeking admiration but about finding safety and acceptance.

JJ's and Kiara's values are constantly clashing

JJ’s low self-esteem, need for validation, and history of emotional neglect make him vulnerable to falling into the same victim role he’s known all his life. Kiara’s strong personality and occasional self-righteous streak could unintentionally exploit JJ’s compulsive selflessness and lack of boundaries.

Is there really more to the chemistry between JJ and Kiara other than just physical attraction?

So, unless JJ takes some serious time for personal growth, gets to know himself and his boundaries, and learns what healthy relationships actually look like, jumping into a romance with Kiara too soon is basically setting himself up to fall right back into the emotional traps he’s trying to escape.

So, what do you think about all this? Would you disagree or do you have another constellation in mind that would suit a character like JJ better (Sarah?). Let me know your thoughts!

[ploxpoke]

Izana X fem!reader

Tw- Smoking, mentions of violence, bad words (lmao)

Fluff with Izana bc I love him <3

Title: ♥ Out Of My League ♥

Izana was in your grade, and despite the two of you being in vastly differing social circles, Izana was interested in you. He’d been watching you for a while now, but he knew better than to approach you head on. He didn’t know what made you attractive to him but all he wanted was your attention. He wanted to make sure you were safe, comfortable, and protected. 

One day Izana saw you walk up to the roof, presumably to eat lunch. He followed you up and he watched you sit down and begin to eat your lunch and took this as an opportunity to talk to you. He walked towards you, his face fixed into a cold and calculating expression. He looks down at you and asks “Who are you?”

You were shocked by his sudden appearance and felt your heart skip a beat. You turned around slowly and looked at him with wide eyes. Your cheeks were flushed from both embarrassment and surprise and you  hesitated before answering 

“I-I'm Y/n”

 You say quietly, trying not to sound too timid. You  glanced back towards your food before speaking again

“And uh- I came here to eat my lunch today, since it's pretty empty up here and all... “

You pause for a second before you  feel a pang of guilt, you were probably bothering him you told yourself.

 “Do you eat here? Am I in the way?”

 You  asked while looking up at him nervously, wondering if he would react negatively to your presence. “I'm sorry- I can just leave if you'd like.” You quickly stand up, about to leave. You feel a sense of dread and you  hope he's not too mad at you. “I'm sorry-”

 Izana raises an eyebrow at your response, clearly surprised by your reaction to his presence, but he maintains his cold demeanor nonetheless.  He leans against the wall beside you, crossing one leg over the other as he observes you carefully. His eyes narrow slightly, taking note of your nervous behavior and the fact that you seemed to be struggling with whether or not you should stay.

“You’re not in the way,Y/n. You can stay here if you want to, I don’t mind.” He says simply, causing your heart to flutter “So, why do you come up here to eat alone?”

You  felt a surge of relief upon hearing him say that you could stay, but then you noticed how his tone had changed and he asked you why you were alone. You froze for a second, unsure of how to answer him. 

You didn't want to seem rude or disrespectful, but at the same time, you didn't want to give him an honest answer, since the truth was that you were ruthlessly bullied. “Uh... I don't really have many friends, so I thought it would be better to be alone. I like the quiet mostly”  You said quietly, not meeting his gaze and keeping your eyes glued to the ground. You had  tried to keep your answer short and sweet, hoping that he wouldn't pry more into your personal life and prayed he'd leave you alone instead of messing with you.

You felt some guilt for not telling the whole truth but you couldn’t bring yourself to.

Despite saying that, you still  hoped that he wouldn't think you were some kind of loser or something, even if you  were to most people, because you really did  like him and he was quite popular with the girls at school.

Izana listened intently to your response, his expression remaining impassive, but internally, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pity for you. He had always been fascinated by those weaker than him, and now that he had identified you as someone who needed protection, he found himself drawn to you even more.

However, he knew that he couldn't let anyone see this vulnerability, especially not someone like you.

“Fine, I understand, Y/n.”  He said softly, still maintaining his cold exterior but somehow making it sound more gentle at the same time.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, offering you one without actually asking if you wanted one. “Would you mind lighting mine for me?”

You were taken aback by his request, feeling your cheeks turn bright red from both shock and embarrassment. You’d never smoked a cigarette before nor did you plan to, but despite that, you agreed to light his cigarette for him.

“Uhm- sure, I guess I can” 

  You lit his cigarette, your hands shaking slightly as you did so having never used a lighter.

You don't exactly like smoking, but you don't say anything about it. you can smell the smoke and your face scrunches a little from the smell. You  keep your eyes focused on the ground and you try to ignore the fact that you hate the smell of smoke

Izana watched you closely as you lit his cigarette, noticing your discomfort with the scent of the cigarette smoke, but he maintained his cold exterior. He took a deep drag from the cigarette, exhaling slowly, causing the smoke to swirl around him. He then leaned forward slightly, reaching out with his free hand to take yours, pulling you closer to him and placing the cigarette between your lips.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tightly against him while whispering into your ear

“Take a deep breath, Y/n.. Inhale deeply.” He commanded, his voice low and firm, but also strangely gentle at the same time.

Your heart raced as you felt his strong embrace and you took a deep breath, inhaling the cigarette smoke that fills your lungs. You coughed slightly, trying to hide your discomfort and you looked up at him through your lashes, but still not daring to look into his eyes. You quickly look back down, not wanting him to notice you staring at him. 

Your cheeks were flushed and your eyes were wide, but your body relaxed slightly against his as he held you close. The scent of the cigarette filled your nose and made you slightly nauseous, but you didn't complain. You feel a slight burn in the back of your throat and you hate the sensation.

 You coughed a little more and the taste of tobacco and smoke was stuck in your mouth and you hated it but you didn't dare say a word about it. You never wanted this moment to end.

The cigarette smoke mixed with the scent of his cologne and you breathed it in deeply, savoring every moment of being close to him, even though you knew you shouldn't. You tried to focus on everything but the disgusting smell and taste of the cigarette. You can't bring yourself to look at him but you can feel him staring at you.

Izana watched you closely as you took a deep breath, taking note of your discomfort with the cigarette smoke. He saw your hesitation and decided to pull the cigarette away from your lips, putting it out on the roof of the building before he placed it back in his pocket.

  He then wrapped his arms around you even more tightly, pulling you against his chest and resting his chin on top of your head.”You don't like it, do you?” He asked softly, his voice full of concern. 

Despite his dominating nature, he genuinely cared about your comfort and well-being. His arms tightened around you, squeezing you reassuringly as he whispered into your ear. “It's alright if you don't like it.”

He could tell you were worried about something and he murmured to you, his voice honey sweet, “Don't worry, y/n. You're safe here with me.”  His tone was low and soothing, but also possessive, as if he was claiming you as his own.

You nodded against his chest, not looking at him, but feeling his strong arms around you and his warmth. You could feel the heat radiating off of his body and it made you feel safe, despite the fact that he was a stranger to you. 

You  couldn’t bring yourself to care that you didn’t know him that well, you just felt protected. You felt his lips near your ear and you turned your head slightly, wanting to look at him but something in your mind told you you didn’t deserve to so you don't and instead you stare at the ground

“Yeah... I really don't like it.” You whispered back, not meeting his gaze. You felt his chin on your head and smiled slightly. You could tell he was smiling but you still don’t look up at him.

“The taste is gross and the smell makes me want to throw up... reminds me of things I don't want to remember like...-”

You trailed off, not finishing your sentence. You shudder a little and you open your mouth to say something else when you hear people walking up the stairs to the roof. You realize that it's people you usually see Izana with. Other  students say they're all in a gang, and you hold your breath for a second nervously. You know those people, and they're not the nicest. You always tended to believe that at least some of them were in gangs. 

Izana heard the footsteps approaching and immediately recognized the sound of his friends, the members of the Tenjiku gang. He tightened his arms around you slightly, pulling you even closer to him as he glanced over his shoulder towards the source of the noise.He spoke softly into your ear

 “Don't worry, Y/n”.. They won't bother us right now.”

 He said reassuringly, even though he knew that wasn't entirely true. His friends often came to the rooftop to hang out with him, and occasionally they would get rowdy and start fighting or arguing with each other. But for now, he wanted to keep you safe from their prying eyes and judgmental gazes. 

"Well, they won't bother you... maybe each other but I won't let them bother you…”

You listened to his words and felt a sudden surge of relief. You didn't know why, but the thought of his friends seeing you with him, especially since he’d never really spoken to you before made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

You didn't understand why, but your gut told you to be wary of him and you couldn't help but listen to it. As the footsteps grew closer, you  held your breath and felt his arms tighten around you. You knew he was protecting you, but there was something in his demeanor that told you that he wouldn't let anything bad happen to you. 

You hide your face, not wanting anyone to see you at all anymore. You  knew the people weren't going to leave and you knew Izana wouldn't let you leave so you did your best to avoid eye contact and kept your eyes on the ground

The footsteps stopped and you heard voices, and you  recognized two of them as people you’ve seen Izana talking to quite often. you know who they are, Rindou and Ran Haitani . 

The two brothers were calling out for Izana, and when they saw him, they didn't notice you at first. Several other boys joined them before they realized you were even there. Izana kept his grip on you tight and the boys just stared at you for a second, not knowing how to react to your presence.

Rindou and Ran, stopped in front of Izana, their faces filled with surprise as they noticed him holding onto you. Rindou glanced at you briefly before turning back to Izana, his eyebrow raised in question. 

"Izana... Who's this? You've got a grip on her like you don't want her running away. Did she do something?"

Rindou asked curiously, while Ran frowned in confusion, clearly not understanding why Izana had brought someone up here with him.

 "She looks pretty frail, you might break her if you're not careful" Ran jokes

One of the other members of the gang; Kanji, walked over to join them, his eyes narrowed suspiciously as he looked at them. "What's going on here?" He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared.

 "What'd she do huh? We need to kick her ass or something?" He glanced at you with an unimpressed expression.

 You flinched as the boys started asking questions, and youI felt extremely vulnerable and exposed, but Izana's tight grip around you and his reassuring presence gave you strength.

You  didn't dare speak up, and you didn't move an inch. You felt like a doll in his hands, and you hated it, but you also knew that if you moved or tried to run away, nothing good would come out of it. So, you  remained silent, trying to stay as calm as possible

You gripped part of Izana's coat in reflex when you heard them mention you doing something. You  could feel the fear bubble up from your chest and tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes but you will yourself not to cry in front of them. A small whimper left you as you closed your eyes, trying not to panic. 

You  looked around and you saw a few people who you knew because they had bullied you but, you  weren't worried about that. You were more worried about Ran, Rindou and especially Kanji's words. 

You didn't know what was going to happen, let alone if Izana decided you did do something to deserve being beat up. You tremble slightly and you feel Izana's grip tighten even more

Izana scowled at the implication that anyone might hurt you from Kanji's comment, his grip on you tightening even further as he glared at the member of the gang. Ran and Rindou exchanged confused glances, not understanding why Kanji would immediately decide to choose violence.

"Fuck off, Kanji," Rindou snapped "She hasn't done anything wrong yet you dickhead." Ran nodded in agreement, looking at you with concern yet still had an amused grin on his face

Kanji rolled his eyes at their comments, unimpressed by their defense of you. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, glaring at all of you. 

"Oh yeah? Then what's she doing clinging onto him like a lost puppy then? Looks like she's scared of something"

Ran scoffed and shot him a dubious glance "She's afraid of you asshat. You're not nice to anyone and you just threatened her..." Ran spoke casually and his words were long and drawn out.

Izana's hand tightened around your waist as he sensed your fear, and he whispered softly into your ear so that only you could hear him, "Don't worry, Y/n. Trust me, they won't hurt you. I won't let them." 

He spoke reassuringly, even though he knew that he couldn't guarantee your safety completely. He hoped that his words would comfort you enough to ease your fears somewhat. The three members of the gang approached you cautiously, sizing you up as they studied your appearance. 

Rindou and Ran exchanged glances, their expressions hardening slightly as they took note of your trembling and the way you clung onto Izana's coat while Kanji just looked angry. The three of them watched you and the way you responded to their stares with interest.

You heard Izana's words and felt a little more confident, but you were still very much scared. You look up at him and see that he said something to the guys, but you didn't quite hear what. You  look back at the guys and you see how they study you. You think they look like they want to hurt you, but Izana's words made you feel safer, so you trusted him. 

You believed him.

You slowly let go of his coat, but you kept your hands on it since it made you feel safer. You heard Rin and Ran talking, and looked at them with wide eyes, they seemed to be having a disagreement. You  couldn't understand what they were saying, but you knew that they were arguing about something related to you. 

You see Kanji glaring at you from the corner of your eye and you feel your panic come back but as your breathing picks up you feel Izana's hand lift your chin up to make you look at him. 

He smirked and leaned closer to you slowly. This got the attention of everyone.

 Ran and Rin stared with grins on their faces, as if they knew what Izana was going to do and Kanji looked even more angry. You open your mouth to say something to Izana only to be shushed by his lips on yours. Your whole body freezes up and Izana smirks into the kiss before pulling away and looking at the members of Tenjiku. He noticed how their expressions changed from anger to curiosity to realization as they watched him kiss you.

He knew that this would catch their attention and distract them momentarily from their plans to intimidate you as well as show why he was so interested in keeping you close. His hand rested on your cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb while his other hand wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him. 

He saw the confusion and surprise on everyone’s faces, including yours, as they realized what had just happened, and he enjoyed every second of it.

Ran and Rindou exchanged amused glances, their earlier argument forgotten as they observed the scene unfold before them. Ran elbowed Rindou and grinned widely at him and Rindou handed him something that looked suspiciously like money.

 Ran snickered softly, "Well fuck, looks like someone's got themselves a girlfriend already"

Rindou just  chuckled, and gave Ran a playful nudge. “Don’t act surprised. You called it.”

You stare up at Izana who just grins down at you and you can't help but to flush from his gaze. You look back down at the ground and you mutter something so quiet that not even Izana could hear.

Izana came closer to you and you  see him still smirking.  He says something to the members of Tenjiku again, this time he was more direct. You heard him say "You better not try to fuck with her, you better not even think about laying a finger on her. She’s mine"

He emphasized the word 'mine' with a slight growl, making it clear he wouldn’t hesitate to protect you from anyone who dared to even consider hurting you. He lowered his hand to the small of your back and he grinned at you sweetly before leaning down and pressing another kiss to your lips.

"Is now a bad time to ask you to be my girl?" He says in a teasing tone before whispering in your ear "I've been waiting for a chance to ask and I doubt there will be a better time than now" He kissed you all over your face.

You just nodded and whispered yes over and over to him until he kissed your lips again and laughed with you. He smiled at you and held you close to him and said with the sweetest smile

"God, you're out of my league"

[terarria-sunflower]

very un-fire emblem, but since ao3 is down here's some L death note headcanons I was debating posting, hopefully they will benefit the masses in this time of hardship

L and how he thinks about romance:

(tw for slight sexual references and short icky behavior from an unnamed non-canon character but no non con, could be dub con)

- he had a couple puppy loves when he was a kid that he fell way too deep into and had break his heart. he just had trouble understanding the natural flow of relationships, and his standing with others who expected him to keep up with them, so he kept getting left behind

- he's obviously bisexual

- and i think he had a brief thing with another boy when he was an early teen and living at the orphanage

- probably the kind of thing where he felt like he had found his soul mate, and they spent lots of time together trying to make up for how starved for love their lives had been at Whammy's, and then eventually the other boy started to become disgusted with the system, and with L because he was so integral to it the older he got, and neither of them understood any of that, and the other boy broke up with him very unkindly and vanished all in the span of about a week

- L is a little wiser to what was going on behind the scenes now, but even if he had the full explanation, the pain was just so acute, and echoed his recurring experience with abandonment so that thinking about it just solidifies a belief that he's unlovable

- i think when he got into his later teens at the orphanage and started to have a bit of freedom to wander around unsupervised, he also had a brief relationship with an American girl who was on vacation in the area

- and by brief i mean the literal one week that she was in Britain

- she was a bit older than him, almost enough to be icky and certainly old enough to know better than to play with an obviously vulnerable young boy

- she was bored and on vacation so she decided to use him, and again he was totally smitten, poor thing was still just so desperate for companionship that he didn't question a good thing

- he is a genius, but his emotional intelligence just developed slowly cause of trauma:/

- she manipulated him into being physical with her the day before she went home in an alley near the orphanage. they didn't have penetrative sex but they got pretty well acquainted

- she left him immediately after and didn't come back to say goodbye.

- that experience was where his trust allowance ran out, and a few years later after he and Watari began moving around the world, the time and the physical separation from where he grew up helped him understand not to blame himself

- it's actually really lucky that he became a career law enforcer, because it gave him the needed exposure to how much other people straight up suck, and saved him from a lifetime of self-hatred

- his theme is really being self sustainable

- he doesn't have any qualms about his personal worth

- but he also doesn't think he's good enough for other people, so he's learned to live totally without them

- Watari is the exception, because L knows that their relationship is based on Watari needing him for his talent, and he can know quantifiably that he's good enough for that

- i think romance is something he craves even if the lack of it doesn't torture him, but he is truly and literally waiting for the stars to align in the person he chooses; it's something he will never take a risk on again (cough why I'm anti-Lawlight although no disrespect to the ship or it's shippers at all it's just not for me!)

- attraction is easy! he just doesn't trust it a bit.

- his end-game would have to be someone who's known him and Watari for quite a while, who Watari likes, and who has stayed around long enough that their only possible motivation for wanting him can be- well, wanting him

- but once he's found the right one, and he's safe with them, I think he'd be eager to participate in surprisingly traditional romantic gestures, and a good communicator.

- he's awkward as we know, but when comfortable with the person he loves, i think that awkwardness turns into endearing, just non-current mannerisms. like, he's a big kiss his partner's hand kinda guy, which isn't that weird or outdated really but he does it with the intent and reverence with which a knight kisses the hand of a court lady, and he does it because he's gathered his most complete pictures of romance from books and from old movies that i'm sure Watari has made him watch

- 10/10, perfect baby angel of a man, the geneva war crimes are a part of him and I'VE decided they're funny

[uniiiquehecrt]

Pre Ragnarok Thor used to be playful at times. Post Ragnarok Thor is a full on himbo.

But people mistaking / aligning his past playful behavior with his current himboness is what makes me pull out my hair.

"He was always a himbo!" NO HE WASN'T!

I’M JOINING YOU THERE 😭😭😭 Thor was PLAYFUL. He was SASSY. He was FUNNY and good-natured and kind and knew how to navigate situations to lift people up again. But Ragnarok!Thor and Love and Thunder!Thor just hurt me. The way he shattered that glass temple without a thought in the L+T introductory scene hurts my soul....

The only films I will defend as NOT disrespectful and out of character for Thor are “Infinity War” and, surprisingly enough, “Endgame”. (Both of which are unsurprisingly the ones NOT DIRECTED by our favorite daffodil man.)

But I mainly say that because Infinity War!Thor is in league with the original 2 Thor films, characterization wise, just with a darker tone, more fierce temper, and an entire insanity arc + revenge quest in tow... and Endgame I give a pass ONLY to Thor himself, and the things that he says and the actions that he takes. Mostly: the excessive drinking, food consumption as a stress reliever, and the concept of trying to escape his real world through a fantasy of some sort... (though I DESPISE the video game gag. It should have been actually anything else.)

The issue I take with Endgame is not Thor, but how the world and the characters surrounding Thor react to Thor from the first second to the last. They’re constantly making fun of him, belittling him, not including him in any team planning, blaming him for the snap, not trying to help him stop his blatantly obvious self destruction, are otherwise are openly and callously disgusted by or uncomfortable by his being there in the room for the aforementioned self-destruction, and that’s not talking about ABANDONING HIM FOR FIVE YEARS when everyone NOT NAMED TONY should have known better. (And I guess Clint because they weren’t ever close and Clint had his own heavy stuff going on.)

Steve should have checked in. He’s the leader and was Thor’s closest friend on the team. Natasha should have checked in, because she always USED to try and check in, and was taking charge of the team at the time. Bruce should have never left Thor completely in the first place, because nobody would understand how vulnerable, unsteady and in a dangerous place Thor would be in, mentally, emotionally and physically, than Bruce “The other guy spat it out” Banner, who let me remind everybody was THERE DURING THE LAST THREE TERRIBLE TRAGEDIES TO SEE IT FIRSTHAND. Rocket doing his own thing makes sense but then AT LEAST have him act with some level of patience towards Thor because he clearly was able to during Infinity War, and he would know better than anyone else (not named Bruce) how Thor is feeling and how awful it is.

And before anyone says “well they were all going though their own stuff and couldn’t be there for him” then I raise to you that Natasha was almost obsessively checking in with everyone and actively trying to keep things running, and Steve was hosting an emotional support and therapy group for post!snap victims in Falcon’s stead. Bruce was doing god knows what. The only person actually indisposed was Clint and he and Thor weren’t ever even close to begin with. And if you say “oh but they probably blamed him for the snap and that’s why” I just need you to really think about that statement and how awful that is, because they’re supposed to be his team and his friends. His earthen found family outside of the Jane crew. And even if they did blame Thor because they don’t know about Peter Quill and Gamora (who I’m sorry but I love Gamora; the snap is ENTIRELY her fault.) then that STILL doesn’t mean they can just ostracize and abandon the man and his people for five years because they’re mad.

I also take extreme issue with the cinematography team and the editing team for that film for deliberately making Thor the butt of the joke during the “how do we get the stones” scene in particular. (when Thor would have been the most valuable team asset. You know. Because he researched them and the glove made for them was made in one of HIS territories with HIS space metals.) and probably also that stupid “I think I’m having a panic attack” line because nobody says that. Otherwise, the man is drowning in his own despair at best and actively suicidal at worst because of everything that has ever happened to him the past 10 year phases 1-3 run, but yeah sure I guess that’s funny. And not unbearably heartbreaking.

[aronarchy]

.

Abuse as a Form of Oppression

A home where a woman is abused is a small-scale model of much larger oppressive systems that work in remarkably similar ways. Many of the excuses an abusive man uses for verbally tearing his partner to shreds are the same ones that a power-mad boss uses for humiliating his or her employees. The abusive man’s ability to convince himself that his domination of you is for your own good is paralleled by the dictator who says, “People in this country are too primitive for democracy.” The divide-and-conquer strategies used by abusers are reminiscent of a corporate head who tries to break the labor union by giving certain groups of workers favored treatment. The making of an abuser is thus not necessarily restricted to the specific values his society teaches him about men’s relationships with women; without realizing it he may also apply attitudes and tactics from other forms of oppression that he has been exposed to as a boy or as a young adult and that he has learned to justify or even admire.

If you look at any oppressive organization or system, from a racist country club up to a military government, you will find most of the same behaviors and justifications by the powerful that I have described in this book. The tactics of control, the intimidation of victims who try to protest, the undermining of efforts at independence, the negative distortions about the victims in order to cast blame upon them, the careful cultivation of the public image of the oppressors—all are present, along with many other parallels. The people in power generally tell lies while simultaneously working hard to silence the voices of the people who are being dominated and to stop them from thinking, just as the abusive man strives to do. And the bottom line is the same: Oppressive systems stay in existence because the people in power enjoy the luxury of their position and become unwilling to give up the privileges they win through taking advantage of other people and keeping them down. In short, the abusive mentality is the mentality of oppression.

The connection among different kinds of power abuses can add greatly to the stress experienced by an abused woman. If you already face discrimination as a woman of color or if you are a low-income woman or a lesbian, you may feel overwhelmed at times by how similar the control and abuse from your partner feel to other forms of oppression you have endured. Some abusive men even deliberately take advantage of their partner’s social vulnerabilities. I have had several clients, for example, whose partners are undocumented immigrants whom they have threatened to have deported if the women ever disclose the abuse. In some geographical areas you can find supportive services for specific groups of abused women, such as immigrants or lesbians, or locate agencies where there are staff people from your background who understand the additional challenges you face.

…

Changing the Culture

Abuse is the product of a mentality that excuses and condones bullying and exploitation, that promotes superiority and disrespect, and that casts responsibility on to the oppressed. All efforts to end the abuse of women ultimately have to return to this question: How do we change societal values so that women’s right to live free of insults, invasion, disempowerment, and intimidation is respected?

…

… Promote alternatives to abuse and oppression by recognizing how intertwined different forms of abuse and mistreatment are. The opposite of arrogantly defining reality is listening respectfully to each person’s perspective. The opposite of placing yourself above other people is seeing them as equals. The opposite of establishing a hierarchy in which the top few people lounge comfortably while everyone else gets squashed is sharing resources. The opposite of madly scrambling to the top, whether it’s the top of the corporate ladder, the top of the softball league, or the top of the household pecking order, is building communities devoted to cooperation and support, where everyone wins. To consider a world without relationship abuse is to open up to even more profound possibilities, to the potential for human beings to live in harmony with each other and with their natural environment.

- WDHDT

[jamietarttsdaddyissues]

Just noticed that in S1E4 when Ted is talking to Jamie and Roy at the gala he says that what they need to get on the same page is mutual respect.

Fast forward to the S2 finale when Jamie apologizes to Roy - one of the most notable parts of his apology: “I respect ya, and I respect Keeley, and I respect your relationship”.

It took a lot of time and effort but Jamie and Roy have gotten to that place of mutual respect and understanding.

[phantasmiafxndom]

Can I request Genya, Sanemi, Usui and Inosuke Pet AU scenarios on how would they try to appeal to their owner if she was being cold lately and they were afraid she was growing tired of them? (NSFW with a top reader is very appreciated but not necessary)?

I wasn’t exactly sure how to make these nsfw.... so here’s hoping they work! XD Also, some of these endings are pretty open to interpretation... 

. . . 

Genya

When you use him, Genya tries to be good. Even when he’s scared or when it hurts (never mind that the wounds always heal), he thanks you for everything and acts as sweetly as he can manage. 

That’s... not saying a lot. When he was younger, before you, there was a reason why no one wanted him. 

Even now, it’s hard to make himself the way he knows he should be. 

But lately, you’ve started acting cold. You’re not as interested in him. You interact with him less and less. It’s terrifying. 

After he’s come, in one of the moments where he’s allowed to lay with you and bury his face in the space between your shoulder and chest, Genya tries to convince himself that it’ll be okay. He nuzzles against you in his best imitation of a smaller, cuter demon who might be truly wanted. 

It doesn’t feel right. 

And then, something slips out that shouldn’t. 

“Please, don’t get rid of me...” It’s whispered against your skin so quietly that there’s a slim chance of you hearing. But luck is never on Genya’s side— and you do. 

“You’ve been trying to be better, haven’t you?” Your words make him tense. A tremble settles into his shoulders. He can’t be tough like this. 

“Y-Yeah...”

“I’ve noticed.” Will it make any difference? You don’t sound like you care. Genya fights to swallow down his fear and a whine that threatens to escape along with it. He’s scared. 

Sanemi

Sanemi isn’t good at good. He’s always been the misbehaving type, disrespectful. He can pull off the barest measure of obedience when he needs to, but there’s a reason why no one before you wanted him. 

And now, he’s losing that part too. 

Even though he tells himself he’s tougher than that, that plenty of owners have thrown him out before for being wrong, for some reason...

The thought scares him more when it’s you. 

Since you’ve started acting cold, Sanemi’s been trying— he truly has. He’s fought to bite back his nasty mouth and knee-jerk reflex to resist any kind of command. It’s made him feel sick and pathetic, but he’s trying, and that makes it hurt all the more when it doesn’t work. 

And then, after sex, after you’ve used him as you saw fit, something comes out that Sanemi regrets more than anything. 

“Owner...?” he questions, already sick at how weak his voice sounds. 

“Yes?”

“You want me... right?” It’s a pathetic question. As soon as it’s out, Sanemi grits his teeth with shame. He sounds so needy and weak. But... this might be the only way of keeping his home. 

You don’t answer for long enough that a sharp pang of fear settles itself in his chest. He ducks his head against your chest. He’s doomed. 

Tengen

Sex is easy. Since you started using him that way, Tengen thought he’d be able to stay in your good graces without trouble. 

But that isn’t the case. For whatever reason, you’re not satisfied. Or at least, judging by your uncomfortably cold behavior, that’s all he can assume. It means he’s doing something wrong. It has to. 

So the next time you take him to bed, Tengen tries to be better. You pin his larger frame down with ease— he’s not fighting, after all—, he melts into your grip even more than usual. You don’t do this as often as you used to. That part worries him. 

“Owner,” he breathes, “let me pleasure you. I’ll do whatever you want, as flamboyantly as you could ever expect of me.” He nuzzles into your neck as he speaks, all but purring. You like it when he’s affectionate. 

You’re silent. An anxious whine rises in Tengen’s throat. 

Is begging okay? If he doesn’t do something, this won’t end well, but what will work—?

“...please,” he whispers, at last. It’s a softer tone than he ever uses, and he sounds so desperate it’s pathetic to his own ears. His helplessness is pouring out, unstoppable. “Don’t throw me away. I’ll be good...”

He squeezes his eyes shut. Voicing such things is way too vulnerable. He should never have stepped away from his usual self—

Inosuke

“Y-You can be rougher with me, you know...” Inosuke mumbles. It’s embarrassing to say, but considering how cold you’ve been lately, shame is a way better option than being disposed of. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you’re angry! Or upset. You can t-take it out on me. I’m strong. I’ll heal. S-So do anything. Please. I don’t want to be thrown away...”

He sounds desperate and scared, nothing like himself. Inosuke squeezes his eyes shut where you have him pinned to the wall. He knows what’s usually coming next, but this time, he can only hope that his words convinced you to do something more to him than usual. 

You look at him with disinterest. Inosuke’s heart thuds way too hard in his chest. He’s terrified, shamefully terrified, but when you lean in and breath along his neck before biting hard, he can only gasp. 

“You want me to use you, hm? That desperate to have a purpose? Don’t worry. I don’t intend to get rid of you anytime soon.”

On reflex, Inosuke ruts forward against you. The blood now dripping down his neck is a stinging reminder of where he stands. The wound will heal in minutes... but that just makes him want more. He’s strong enough to take it, to take anything that makes him yours to stay. 

[lorenzobane]

Harebrained Scheme

AN: Written for @trektober-challenge first installment- namely Prime Directive, but more specifically inspired by some of @fractal-baby discussion about Spock’s absolutely insane plans. It was written pretty quick and definitely playing fast and loose with timelines, but set after ST:ID but before ST: Beyond. Can be read as pre-Spirk, but the major relationship is Jim & Sarek chatting. 

Can be found on AO3 here

Being kidnapped and held with his First Officer’s father was never exactly the plan for Jim. There are, in fact, a lot of people Jim would rather be kidnapped with. Namely, the aforementioned First Officer Spock.  

But as it stands-- 

“We have been held here for approximately 2.3 hours,” Sarek says after a moment of silence. 

Jim nods, “don’t panic.” 

Sarek gives him a look that plainly says Vulcans don’t panic. “I am simply stating a fact of our capture.” 

“Yes, sir,” Jim says patiently. “I’m aware of how long it has been.” 

“The temperature is several degrees below Vulcan standard,” Sarek pointed out. 

“I am aware of that as well,” because Jim was. Whoever their enemies were, they knew who they had kidnapped. The temperature is holding steady at a place where Jim is uncomfortable but is draining Sarek. 

Sarek says nothing and continues to observe the cell around them calmly. Jim has been pacing since he woke up about an hour ago. It’s a plain white room with no windows and no doors as far as he can tell. He’s tried clawing at just about every inch of the sterile space, and as far as he can tell, nothing gives. 

“What are the walls made of?” Kirk mutters to himself. They don’t feel like metal or even plastic- they radiate the coolness as if they’re some type of natural product, but the way the room is sealed tells him some kind of technology is involved. 

Sarek cuts into Jim’s thinking with a, “I believe these are made of Betazoid limestone.” 

“What makes you say that?” Jim asks. With Spock, he’ll usually prattle for a few minutes, discussing density and texture before giving him an answer as straightforward as his father. 

Sarek looks at him in surprise, “you are not able to tell?” 

Jim resists the urge to reply with sarcasm. Sarek isn’t Spock, which is plainly apparent in every interaction they have. Though Spock always seems extremely calm and balanced to Jim, being around his father makes Jim aware of how much more emotion and variation Spock regularly expresses. 

“No,” Jim says. “I haven’t spent much time on Betazoid.” 

Sarek nods, “I was briefly an Ambassador there in my son’s youth. He was very fond of the rock and found its cool texture pleasing.” 

“I thought it would be illogical to find a rock pleasing,” Jim replies without thinking. 

Sarek is quiet for a moment before responding with, “yes, indeed it was. However, as my wife put it to me then, there is nothing illogical about curiosity. The desire to explore. I am not sure I agree with her, but I have never been successful in curbing my son of any habit he does not wish to break.” 

“He can be stubborn,” Jim replies with amusement.

A mild understatement if Jim has ever said one. Though he is always respectful and never veers into full-on insubordination, Jim now understands what Pike meant when he referred to Spock fondly as an ‘extremely independent First Officer.’ Jim doesn’t mind it, maybe even loves it- the way Spock is relentless when he is convinced of the correct course of action. The argumentative (logically debated, in Spock’s words) messages and memos coming at all hours until Jim either gives in or says the phrase, “drop it, that’s an order.” 

Which, at the very least, shuts him up for a shift or two. 

“Do you believe they will be able to find us?”

Jim shrugs, his communicator is still on his person, and he tries it every few minutes, but he keeps getting static. “None of my messages are going through, but as you mentioned, your son is very stubborn and an extraordinary Starfleet officer. If anyone could rescue us, it would be him.” 

Sarek nods again, and they sit in silence while Jim continues to search every square inch of space. It doesn’t make sense- unless their captors beamed them into the room, there is no way for them to have entered without a door of any kind. 

“My son,” Sarek says, somewhat awkwardly pulling Jim out of his observation of the walls once more. “How is he-- I mean to say, I recognize as one of the very few Vulcans at Starfleet, and now as an endangered species, it may be challenging for him.”

Jim kindly doesn’t say that Sarek didn’t actually ask a question and responds with, “the crew loves him. He fits in great and has a surprising number of friends. The kids in the Science department all think he’s some type of rock star. The amount of transfer requests I get specifically for his division is getting out of hand.”  

“Rock star?” Sarek repeats back. 

“A term for an old Terran classical musician who was known for extreme popularity,” Jim responds with some curiosity. Spock is exceptionally familiar with Terran classical music and had known precisely what Jim had meant when he used similar phrasing. Still, Jim supposes that perhaps he picked it up in his many years on earth.

“I am gratified to hear this,” Sarek replies, somewhat slowly. Jim jerks up, alarmed, when he realizes that it appears that each blink is getting slower and slower as if he were fighting falling asleep. “He has so few affiliates on Vulcan.”

“Really?” Jim asks, surprised. 

For all Spock can be logical, sarcastic, and moralistic to the point of exhaustion, he’s also a kind friend, a shockingly understanding commanding officer, and a good sport about most things. He even participates in some ship-wide events, like the talent show where he played some genuinely excellent Vulcan lute. 

And purely for Jim’s amusement, played a lute version of a truly ancient Terran classic that Jim has a soft spot for, Wildest Dreams. 

“He… Was an unusually brilliant student,” Sarek says, still slow as if fighting for words. Jim realizes with an urgency that he should probably try to keep Sarek talking to keep him awake. 

“Vulcans didn’t like brilliant students?” Jim asks with amusement. The idea of Spock being a nerd among nerds is somewhat hilarious. 

“No, they did not like an unusually brilliant half-human,” Sarek replies, his voice for the first time that Jim has ever known him touching with a hint of sadness. “And he was… Willful. Unusually brilliant, and ferociously unselfconscious about his mother.” 

Jim laughs a little at that, rubbing his neck unconsciously, “yes, I definitely learned the hard way that you shouldn’t insult his mother.” 

“As did many,” Sarek says, his eyes closed. “He had a violent physical altercation when he was eleven for a similar reason. It was that disrespect of his mother that ultimately caused him to turn away from the Vulcan Science Academy.” 

“He didn’t go to VSA because they insulted his mother?” Jim asked, surprised. “Why would they insult Amanda anyway?” 

Sarek takes a sharp breath at the casual use of his wife’s name, and Jim feels terrible. After months of playing chess with Spock, they had begun discussing their childhood and Spock often spoke of his mother glowingly. He had insisted that they use her name to honor her memory. 

“They referred to her blood as a disadvantage. I knew the moment they said it; he would never accept a place that looks down on humans. He could be illogically loyal.” 

“His illogical loyal behavior saved you on Vulcan, and it saved earth,” Jim replies, his voice sharper than he intends it to be. 

Sarek opens his eyes at that, slowly and blearily, “I did not mean that negatively. I have come to find that many of the traits I viewed as… Aberration in him, in his youth, has come to define his tremendous successes.” 

Jim doesn’t say, though he dearly wants to, that viewing his child’s personality as an aberration at any point is pretty illogical. Still, Spock is a subject that Sarek is willing to stay awake and speak about, so Jim asks, “like what?”

“Well,” Sarek says wryly, “his disregard for rules he simply disagrees with. It is, presumably, the reason that he works so well with you and your idiosyncratic leadership style.” 

“I would not say that Spock isn’t interested in the rules,” Jim replies with surprise, the betrayal of Spock’s report after they saved him from a volcano still kind of stings. 

“He follows the rules he believes in avidly, that is true,” Sarek says, his voice does hold amusement now. “But he regularly ignores them if he wishes to. I presume you are referring to his report after the events of Nibiru?”

Jim jerked in surprise, “how did you know--?” 

“My son and I have been keeping close correspondence after the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of his mother. We are attempting to… work through the strain our relationship was put under while I worked through my disappointment that he did not go to the Vulcan Science Academy.” 

“Isn’t disappointment illogical too?” Jim asks. It is hard for him to hear the casual way Sarek describes his feelings towards Spock when Jim truly and completely believes that his First Officer is one of the finest beings he has ever encountered. 

Sarek makes a noise of agreement, “you are correct. Vulcans may take a vow to control our emotions, and we certainly may attempt to utilize logic in most decision-making. Still, there is no doubt that our species can be vulnerable to prideful behavior.” 

Jim, having beaten Spock at chess a few times, can attest to that. 

“What did he say about Nibiru?” Jim asks, curious now as to how Spock described the events to his father. 

“I believe,” Sarek says again, his voice rich with amusement now, “that you saw yourself as the rule breaker in this scenario. However, after listening to his entire recounting, I must ask you- whose idea was it to freeze the volcano?” 

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “Spock’s. He had been reviewing the geothermal events on the plant. He calculated the likelihood of explosion was incredibly likely, so he asked if he could try one of his experiments to save the planet.” 

“You realize that the plan itself, from its initial conception, violated the Prime Directive, do you not, Mr. Kirk?” 

Jim looked at Sarek blankly, “what?” 

“It is against the Prime Directive to interfere with a planet’s destiny in any way. Then, the matter of his cold fusion device. An entirely novel invention that had gone through no formal testing, no review process… He simply believed it would work, conducted experiments in his free time, and wanted to use it. And had a captain who trusted him.” 

Jim blinks again at Sarek. “But… But…” 

Sarek leaned his head back, “do not feel bad. He was somewhat infamous for this when he was a boy. His capacity to convince his instructors that his personal pet projects were highly logical and beneficial regardless of external forces was… Remarkable. And in you, I think he has finally found a place where his prodigious intellect is not being checked by constant regulation.”

“Spock always follows regulation,” Jim defends on instinct, his mind reeling. 

“He always follows the ones he believes deserve to be followed,” Sarek corrected. “He has always had a somewhat unusual penchant for attempting novel actions without the traditional Vulcan tendency of deep contemplation.” 

Oh, the thought hit Jim suddenly. Spock is a Vulcan bad boy. Jim doesn’t know why he finds that so shocking; Spock does, after all, go along with a majority of his plans and even comes up with half of them. Even more damning, if Spock did not agree with a course of action, it relatively rarely ends up occurring. 

Which means… Spock is actually as goddamn reckless as he is. 

Jim isn’t sure how he feels about this revelation. 

“He... He tricked me!” Jim cries out eventually, unable to contain it. 

“But as I have said,” Sarek adds, his voice is shallow and slow now, “I have come to realize… These qualities, his capacity for creativity, and quick thinking have allowed him to become the most remarkable of us.” 

“I’m glad that you could see what we have always seen,” Jim says, though he’s more using the royal “we.” 

It took him considerably longer to see what was right there in front of him, but once he had, it made sense to Jim that Spock had been a popular professor, First Officer, and Advisor in his time at Starfleet. 

“I was unwilling to admit it, but I was worried when he chose Starfleet. So far from his people, alone and living in an abundance of difference. Vulcans can be quite homogeneous.” 

“Infinite diversity in infinite combinations,” Jim quoted from Spock’s eternal sermons. 

“Ironic that it is a Vulcan philosophy when so many of us view the world so similarly,” Sarek said, inclining his head slightly. “However, in a land of difference, he was able to find a space for himself that he was unable to find with his people. He always did appreciate adventure, read illogical books with his mother like Alice in Wonderland and Sherlock Holmes. Even Shakespeare which his instructors on Vulcan never enjoyed.” 

Jim raised his eyebrows again. Spock often quoted fanciful literary classics in trying situations. Still, it never entirely occurred to him how oddly poetic and even artistic that would have made him in a different place. 

“I hope he knows that I hold him in high regard,” Sarek says after a moment, and his eyes drift shut again, his breathing going slow. 

“No,” Jim leaps up. “No, you can’t. I can not be responsible for the death of two of Spock’s parents.” 

“Captain Kirk,” Sarek says with exhaustion, “do not worry. I can place my body into a healing trance that will allow me to remain stable for an extended period of time if need be. The Betazoid limestone will make us challenging to track and as such--” 

Just then, there is a loud thudding noise on the wall to their right, like something heavy just rammed into it at full speed. 

A thudding again, and then Sarek shudders awake, “Spock?” 

Jim doesn’t hear anything but Sarek does because he turns to Jim and says, “please move 3.87 feet to your left.” 

Three seconds later, a thud outside the wall gives way to what appears to be an ancient wrecking ball. 

“What is that?” 

“I think it is your crew, Captain,” Sarek says. 

Another beat and a large stone crash through the wall using a device that is an ancient Terran wrecking ball. 

“Captain,” Spock said calmly through the hole he just blasted through the wall. “I see you’re unharmed. Father, it is gratifying to see you safe as well.” 

“Glad you got to us in time; we were running out of gossip about you,” Jim says with a smirk as he slowly starts to try to clamber through the slightly too small hole. 

“Please refrain from joking,” Spock says, guiding his father through the hole much more gracefully. 

“Who’s joking?” Jim replies. 

Spock looks to his father with an eyebrow up, and Sarek responds, “while I would not term it “gossip,” the captain is correct, and our mutual affiliation with you helped pass a majority of the time.” 

Jim nearly cackles at the brief look of horror that passed over Spock’s face when he replies with a steady, “indeed.” 

Jim smirks and is silent while Spock focuses on calling the Enterprise to beam up. 

And much later, when Spock asks him what they discussed while Spock and Jim played their usual game of chess, Jim can be entirely honest when he says, “your many admirable qualities.” 

It’s definitely worth the way Spock’s ears turn a light green. 

[stardustdates]

can i ask for a fem!demon slayer who accidentally falls for kokushibou and comically tries getting in his pants, to the dismay of literally everybody else, and fINALLY it works! nsfw please! irgh i feel like i'm asking for too much, and thanks in advance!

Stardust's comment: I read Kokushibou? Thank you for fueling my writing stamina *-*

Stardust’s comment2: I got this done for today so it might be a bit rushed! I just love the 3 highest upper moons so much ;;;

Kokushibou x reader NSFW: “Mine”

let the date begin!

It started out with a fight. Like with every demon you encountered. Never would you have thought you’d fall for one.

For hundreds of years, demons and slayers had been enemies. Yet the moment your eyes laid on him. He looked strong, intimidating. Yet more than anything his angry face seemed to hide so much pain. You did have a pretty good sight, it was your best advantage after all. You could see every micro movement of the demon’s face.

And as you both stared each other down you felt a certain tenderness instead of the terrifying fear that should have taken over you. That, that had the six eyed demon in front of you quite perplexed.

“-You’re not scared?.. He seemed surprised.

-Only scared of what that di- I mean- no, obviously. You stuttered out

-What?”

You face palmed inside at the fact that your first line was about to be a dirty joke. Only if you knew it wouldn’t be the only time.

It had been a few months that you came to the same place in the forest every day to meet with the giant. You had learnt his name -or at least his demon name- he was Kokushibou. He never told you a lot about his past, all you knew was that he was a very jealous and envious demon. Yet he showed a certain interest in you, hidden by a cover of an “interest for how pathetic humans are”. 

After a bit he seemed to start smirking at your jokes. Tho you didn’t know if they were jokes anymore. Even as he was talking with another demon, which he had to dissuade from approaching you. You had come to learn the other demon’s name was Akaza. Well… Akaza did quickly end up disgusted by how touchy you were getting with the larger demon. Putting your hand gently on his arm so he wouldn’t draw his sword, being glued to his chest when you spoke to him. But what disgusted that striped demon even more was the fact that Kokushibou didn’t seem to mind. Even looking as if he enjoyed it.

Oh and was he chocked when he heard the dirty thinks you’d spill jokingly talking to the more powerful demon. Maybe someone else would have found it fun, he didn’t. He’d often lash out at you, calling you disrespectful and disgusting amongst other things, fleeing in submission as Kokushibou showed signs of a future fightback.

“-Are you okay? He asked, still as stoic.

- Yeah, I think.. I’m used to demons after all! You beamed. Maybe.. I could thank you in a special manner! You giggled

-Oh? -For once he seemed intrigued with your proposition.- And would you really do that?”

Your eyes opened wide. You couldn’t identify if he was serious or not about it, it was hard to see through him.

But oh. Your doubts disappeared went rough hands grabbed your hips, you could feel his sharp claws through your uniform. Blood rushed to your face as he leaned down close to your ear. His deep voice sounding like a growl.

“Maybe you really should. It’s a lot of teasing behaviors you’ve been showing me, after all.”

You could feel heat running to your core. His hands making their way behind you as he hoisted you up in his arms. He was rough and violent as he sat you on a rock shedding off your haori. If he gave into his instincts he’d have ripped it all away. But something inside of him wanted you dressed once he was done. He didn’t want anyone else than him to see you vulnerable. Thus calming his needs as he unbuttoned the uniform his mouth latching into the skin it exposed, not with an intent to kill but to mark you up. Biting and sucking at the skin. His tongue licking at the marks he left as his rough hands groped at your chest, making you let out a breathy moan. Your flesh was so tender. So soft. He felt great power just from seeing how small you were compared to him.

Crouching between your legs he lifted up your skirt, sliding off your underwear, getting hit by the smell of your pheromones, demons were more sensitive to it, and he would go feral if he didn’t know better. He licked his lips at the sight, kissing your thighs, leaving a few bites and love marks here and there. He ran his finger up and down your slick slit collecting wetness. It was already driving you crazy and your moans were about to do the same to him. You shivered at his warm breath as he got closer to your intimacy giving it an experimental lick. Seeing you squirm just from that was definitely a boost to his confidence, he started eating you out roughly, licking and sucking at your clit while his fingers curled up inside of you. His hands were big and just two fingers made you feel so full already, you were moaning so lewdly it only encouraged him to do more. He started stretching you out in a scissoring motion, slowly adding another finger. He saw the slight discomfort on your face and frowned, lifting his face to look at you.

“-Would I really fit in such a tight body? You seem pained from as little as stretching. Maybe you don’t really want it. The demon let out a dark chuckle.

-I do! -you muttered- Please… Kokushibou-sama...” Oh the way you half moaned his name while he kept fingering you as you spoke… It made something inside of him snap.

Your moans turned louder and your eyes closed as his hands got rougher, as he added more pressure to his licks. Right as you were about to cum you heard him getting up and away from you, letting you to the feeling of emptiness that you expressed in a needy whine. Your eyes slowly opening again only to see the fabric of his clothes come off, his scarred and toned body revealed to you.

“You’re beautiful..” You whispered, lost in thoughts. He gave a smile. One that looked genuine. Yet that softness could only last so long as your eyes traveled down to his hardened cock, another electric wave of heat going straight down to your needy pussy. He got back to you holding you up once more, making you let out a little yelp as he laid you down on the cold floor, quickly settling himself he lined his dick up with you wet hole. He looked at you as he slid in. He starred at every micro expression you might have. He knew he couldn’t keep collected for too long as your walls seemed to squish him in while your moans seemed both immensely pleasured and slightly uncomfortable, but nothing could get him prepared to the sight of your small body barely managing to fit him whole inside, your lower stomach bulging up as he stayed inside. The growl he let out, fighting his feral need to thrust hard and rough into you, making you clench around him even more.

Kokushibou couldn’t hold it anymore he was shaking from his thoughts and wants. His mind was almost animalistic as he grabbed your waist with one hand, holding himself up with the other as he started thrusting into you. You moaned his name out, again and again. You could see the way his eyes were glued to the movement of the bulge caused by his dick inside of you. He was absolutely obsessed with the size difference you both had. He was muttering through his growls and low breathes, muttering about how he could destroy you, how he could split you in halves just by fucking you.

Your moans and his noises felt like music to both of you, even as you yelped in a pained surprise as he bit into your shoulder, trying to suppress his moans. His thrust got rougher, harsher, your body taking everything it could as his cock head hit the deepest parts of you. You felt so close, screaming his name, pride harbored his features as he heard that. He himself starting to give in into the pleasure, letting his low rocky moans out. He got sloppier in his thrust, holding onto you as he barely moved his cock out anymore, instead just hitting as deep as he could. He felt you contract around him as you came screaming his name once more. The tightening around him, so tight it could almost let him stuck, got him filling you up after a few more thrusts. When you came back to reality, riding out your climax you couldn’t help but notice how Kokushibou was holding you against him. Focusing a bit more you could hear him repeating a few words over and over again.

“You’re mine. Mine. Mine only and just mine.”

[uschi-the-listener]

Level 13 Group Home for Boys

The place where I did my practicum was making money by busing kids from group homes to the facility for group therapy. Unpaid interns ran groups under the supervision of a licensed practitioner, either an MSW or MFT or MFCC. I was a budding Marriage and Family Therapist, still in school, but experiencing the work firsthand, rather than from books. I had, and still have, a passion for the work.

If every story has a hero, I suppose I could be considered the hero of this one. It's not that kind of story, but if you asked, if anybody remembered me, I would be it. I'm sure that nobody remembers me. I was a cipher, a tiny cog in a huge machine. But I didn't break down when the system did.

That day, I was being supervised by the most recent low-bidder, a social worker who had been fired from the prison system and found a job working with these kids, kids aging out of the foster system. Sixteen and seventeen year olds who were their adult height and had little to lose. Kids too violent or too difficult or too mentally ill, or sex offenders, kids who hadn't worked out in actual foster families but ended up in group homes, watched over by former prison guards.

The ratings for group homes go from 1 to 14, with 14 being the most disturbed, the most violent. Level 14s were not allowed to travel outside the group home, but Level 13 kids were.

I was under supervision, running a group with a bunch of Level 13 gang-members. I had met the social worker in charge a day or two before. I don't remember his name. I don't remember what the topic for the group was for that day; in any case, we didn't cover it. We had a lesson of a different kind.

The first time I met him, this supervisor tried to buy my ring off my finger. I didn't sell it to him. Then, he started leaning in the sexual harassment direction. Then, he called our clients the "dummies" and "thugs" and was completely insensitive to my expression of horror. I was hoping he would just tune out and leave me to run the group. No such luck.

The kids were unusually unruly that day. Left to myself, I'd have abandoned the assigned subject matter and just taken their temperature, asked what was up, why everybody was so agitated. I wasn't in charge. The person who was, chose to make it worse.

He was rude and scornful and started barking orders at the group, taunting them, then started singling people out for scolding and derision. Of course they escalated their behavior. He was harsh and disrespectful to a group of kids who were mostly bigger and tougher than he was, people who had been brutalized and abused in ways he could not imagine. Survivors of things he would not have survived. I was disgusted with his behavior and so were the kids. In response, they were noisier, more profane, and echoing his abuse with their own.

The kid I was sitting next to, who the supervisor was currently needling, was becoming more and more upset. The boy did not have good impulse control and being called out, mocked, and humiliated was making him visibly angrier. He was breathing hard. His lip was quivering, eyes flashing, and he seemed to be growing bigger in his seat. He was trying so hard to control himself and wasn't answering back, but he was shaking with anger and suppressed violent urges.

We were next to the only window in the room, a smallish one, with that chicken-wire netting embedded in it. The kid had reached the limit of his tolerance. With a great, "Fuck You!" he suddenly turned, without looking, and punched out the window over my head.

We were covered in glass. The room went silent. The stupid supervisor was caught in mid-sarcasm. The other boys looked stunned.

I turned to the kid and asked him, "Are you okay? Let me see your hand. Did you get cut?" His lips quivering, chest heaving, tears threatening to fall, he glanced at me and shook his head. I asked him again, "Let me see," and took his fist in my hand and gently pried open the clenched fingers. He appeared to be okay, but covered in broken glass.

I asked two of the boys I had had prior sessions with if they would take the other boy to the rest room to clean up, and then bring him back. The supervisor stormed out of the room, angry and shouting something about "Ungrateful..." something. Nobody paid any attention. The rest of the boys were silent and eyeing me in astonishment. I still didn't know what had been happening to get everybody into such a state.

So I asked. I said, "I don't want to put anybody on the spot, but, can somebody tell me what happened? Why was (kid) so upset?" It came out, then, that he was about to turn 18. In the foster care system, there is no mercy for kids with poor grades. This kid had not been successful in school, so he didn't get the lenience of a few extra months or years protected from the street. He was kicked out, expected to fend for himself, on his 18th birthday, which would have been 2 days from the date of the incident. He was terrified and heartbroken.

Who knows what that kid had suffered? Kids born into addicted families, families with domestic violence, sexual abuse, severe poverty, kids subjected to racism and microaggressions, kids with multiple traumas before their brains had had a chance to develop, don't have a good prognosis. There is no support. The most damaged, the most traumatized, are further brutalized by the system supposedly set up to ensure their safety and education.

Nobody can learn when they're in constant fear or when they have to spend all their energy keeping themselves and vulnerable others alive. This kid was not particularly bright. If he had any talents, he had never had a chance to develop them. What he had going for him was being big and scary. Dark skin, scars, tatts, long dreadlocks, over six feet tall, a deep voice, and no inhibitions about intimidating threatening adults. Good for him. That energy could some day become a great asset. In his world, it had kept him alive. That day, it wasn't any help at all.

Somebody called the police. I never saw that boy again. The other kids came back and told me he was in custody. After that day, I never had a problem with that group of boys again. They would high-five me in the hall, teach me slang, pull me aside to talk. Because, maybe for the first time in their lives, they saw an adult who sided with them, instead of the other adult in the room. Because I cared about the glass on that boy's hand and in his hair and clothes more than keeping order in the room.

Mere decency is not heroic. Kindness to children should be a given. There were no heroes there, but if there had been, it would have been me.

[mdawritings]

Wanna Be Yours: Ch. 9

I.IX

Masterlist

Warnings: None

Song(s): "Fool's Gold" by One Direction

"Katie," Your heart is still racing from the kiss and the surprise of your friend coming up behind you. "I thought you said you were going to shower and go to bed." It’s a stupid comment. Obviously, she didn’t just go straight to bed.

"What is Professor Hotchner doing outside of our apartment?" Katie crosses her arms across her chest, "No actually, more importantly, what is Professor Hotchner doing kissing you?"

"What?" Just like that, your IQ falls about 80 points. Play dumb. That’s definitely the best choice in this situation.

"Y/N… please tell me you are not seeing our professor." Katie brings a hand up to hold her temples.

"Okay, I’m not seeing our professor," You attempt to push past her and she shoots a hand out to grab your wrist, pulling you back to stand in front of her. You hope your long drawn-out sigh is enough to warn her that you’re really not in the mood for a scolding or beratement or even to chat right now. It’s been a long week. "Please Katie just…"

"Just what? Let it go? Pretend I didn’t see it?" Katie’s eyes search your face but you roll your eyes, "No, we’re talking about this."

"I’m exhausted and I want to sleep," You groan, cursing the fact that your drunken buzz is quickly fading, "This doesn’t have to be a big thing."

"It’s already a big thing." She argues. You open your mouth to protest, to fight her off, but if you know anything about Katie, it’s that when she’s dead set on something, there’s no excuse, no possible escape. So you let out a sigh and move away from her to lean against the kitchen island, a small distance away from her. Where do you begin? How do you explain it all to her?

"How long has this been going on?" Katie’s body language loosens up and she pulls the towel from around her neck, drying her hair lightly as she looks over at you.

So you tell her. You tell her everything. Well, not every single detail of the sex, but you tell her how many times you’ve seen him, you tell her about the late night booty call, you tell her about the kiss with Charlie, you tell her about the weekend at his apartment. You tell her about blowing him off all week. You don’t tell her about him walking you home, you don’t tell her about the conversation the two of you just had outside your building. You leave out the fights with him. You leave out the way he kicked you on your ass this past weekend.

Katie shakes her head, and the words that you already know are coming fall from her lips, "Y/n, you can’t… you cannot keep seeing him."

Your eyes look away from her piercing, searching gaze. Deep down, you know she’s right. This isn’t a relationship and it’s not just a fling anymore. The way you felt all week being separated from him? It made you sick to your stomach. You couldn’t focus on anything, your mind always wandering back to him. Not just wandering back to the sex, but to his voice, his hands, his eyes, his laugh, his smile. The way his brows furrow deeply when he’s reading. That damned hand thing he does. The way he subtly bites at the corner of his lips when concentrating. "I really… I really like spending time with him. He understands me, you know?"

"I know it might feel that way but at the end of the day he’s using you." She argues, "It’s not right. He’s using the power he has over you as a professor to get you in bed."

You don’t come with anything to say back so Katie keeps going, "If you guys get caught… he could lose his job. Your reputation will be ruined. All that you’ve worked hard for, all this work to establish a name for yourself…"

"Don’t you think I fucking realize all that?" Your frustration and exhaustion bubble up into anger. You’re not a child, and right now Katie is lecturing you like one. "It’s not just sex anymore," You bite back, "It’s companionship. He listens to me. He indulges my mind. We enjoy each other's company. And he doesn’t treat me like a child, unlike you and all of our other friends." The last part isn’t really true. Katie, for the most part, treats you with just as much respect as anyone else her age. The rest of your friends baby you. It’s evident in their behavior, the way they tease you and laugh at you. The nicknames, ‘kid genius’ or just ‘kid.’

You’re tired of being treated like a child. You’re plenty capable of making your own decisions. This thing with Hotch, it feels like the first fully independent decision you’ve made. It’s not what your parents expect from you, it’s not what your friends want from you, it’s entirely what you want. And that complete freedom of choice? It feels fantastic.

"Oh my god." Katie’s voice has fallen to hush. Her hand comes to her mouth, covering it slightly.

You stutter out a quick apology, "I’m sorry, Katie that’s not what I meant…"

"Oh my god," She repeats, taking a few steps closer to you, "Oh my god. You’re… falling for him."

Your face flushes hot with embarrassment. You tug your bottom lip between your teeth, suppressing the small smile threatening to ruin your angry, frustrated facade. "No," You look up into her kind eyes, "Maybe. I don’t know."

"Oh, Einstein," She chuckles sadly. You can sense she feels bad for you. She pities you, like you’re some sad lovesick child, chasing after some unattainable ideal love that will never be requited, but she didn’t hear what Hotch said outside. She didn’t see the way the two of you looked at each other at the front door. She didn’t hear how soft his voice got when he apologized. He wouldn’t act this way if he didn’t care for you. You’re all I need.

He wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it. He wouldn’t. That would be… cruel of him, to play with you like that. And as much as he’s mistreated you, you know he’s not capable of such disrespect and manipulation.

"You know I’m always in your corner." Katie leans against the counter next to you.

"Then why do you make me feel like a teenager who snuck out past curfew?" You try to crack a joke, lighten the mood, pull yourself out of your own thoughts.

"I’m not angry with you." She rubs your shoulder comfortingly.

"It sure feels that way," You scoff and look down, picking at your nail beds.

"If anything I’m angry with him," She almost laughs, reaching for your hand, preventing you from tearing at the skin any longer. She wraps her hand around yours supportively, "He’s your superior and it’s wrong to use you like this," You shoot her a glare and she sighs, "If he’s using you."

"I don’t know what to think, Katie," You feel that pit in your stomach that makes you queasy, "Whenever I’m with him I feel like the most important woman in the entire world. I make him laugh. How could anyone possibly fake all of that?"

"Maybe he’s not," She wraps her other arm around your shoulders and pulls you in close to rest your head on her shoulder, "You’re so beautiful, inside and out, Y/N… it’s practically impossible for him to avoid falling for you too."

Her words give a small boost of happiness. It’s amazing to know she’s always on your side, but the doubts you have about Hotch don’t seem to be disappearing. He’s never made any real commitment to you. He barely shows any sense of care for you besides when you blow him off. But again, you decide that it all feels too authentic to be manipulation. He’s too enchanted by you, and you, with him. What you feel for him is real. He must feel the same… he has to.

————

You knock lightly on Hotch’s office door, but receive no response. You glance around the hallways to make sure that no student or professor sees you entering his office. It would be quite hard to explain why Hotch would let you go into his office if he wasn’t there. You push open the door, surprised to see Hotch hunched over at his desk, writing furiously with one hand, the other hand holding his forehead.

Your entrance into the office doesn’t even seem to draw his attention. "Aaron?" You call. He looks up at you and you can see his eyebrows plastered into that signature frown of his. "Sorry I didn’t mean to barge in. I can go if you-"

"No come in," He waves you in and turns his attention back down to his work.

"Are you okay?" You ask tentatively. You sit in the chair directly across from his desk, placing your bag on the floor and cozying up a little. You feel comfortable in his office. It’s always warm and the room smells like him. You’ve run your eyes over the hundreds of books on the walls, reading the spines, memorizing every single title that he has in his collection, making mental notes of ones that are missing that you think would pad out his collection properly.

"I just… my third-year ethical issues students are all struggling quite a bit and it’s a difficult class I’ll admit but I can’t help but feel like…" He sighs and shakes his head. "Like it’s due to my failings as a professor and mentor."

You find yourself at a loss for words. You can tell he’s stressed. His hand is tangled in his hair and it’s all messed up and fluffy. His grip on the pen is tight, his knuckles practically going white as he writes notes rapidly. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable… so normal and human. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I’m just trying to restructure the lectures and the curriculum. I’ve lightened the workload because I know all of them are scrounging for internships and job opportunities or are already juggling an internship but they’re just not getting it." He drops his pen, which causes a little bit of ink to spray out from the fountain pen nib and onto his notes. He holds his head in his hands, covering his entire face with his palms before rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up.

You bite your lip and put your things down, standing up to walk around and sit against the edge of the desk to the right of him. "Can I take a look?" You hold out your hand.

"How could you help me with this?" He looks up from his hands at you.

"Well, seeing as I am a student, I can probably help figure out what is and isn’t working for them, which weeks you’re assigning too much work for them to actually get done." You smirk and he leans back in his chair. There’s a small moment before a smile starts to spread across his face.

He places a warm hand on your knee, rubbing it gently. It’s not an inherently sexual gesture, it’s comfortable. He leaves his hand there, thumb tracing circles on your thigh absentmindedly, "I don’t think you’re a good judge of the average student. There’s no such thing as too much work to get done for you."

You roll your eyes, "Aaron will you stop being so stubborn and just hand me the damn syllabus." You stick out your hand and he reluctantly sits up, handing over the sheet scribbled with his notes. "You’re lucky I’ve learned to decode your horrendous handwriting."

"It’s not that awful." He mutters under his breath and leans forward to look over the sheet while it’s in your hands.

"I don’t even know what that says," You point to an especially atrocious line, "Seriously, Aaron, are you trying to make it harder for your students on purpose?"

"You seem to do okay," He teases, giving your thigh a light squeeze.

You chuckle, reaching across him for a pen, making marks all over the pages."Yeah well I work about three times as much as anyone else here."

"What are you doing?"Hotch leans further forward to get a better look at what you’re writing but you lean away from him so you can work on it uninterrupted, "Wait, you can’t just cross that out they need to—" He reaches out a hand, ready to snatch the syllabus from your clutches. You hold your arm fully extended out away from him, like you’re keeping a toy from a little child before placing a soft quick kiss on his lips.

"Now stop arguing and let me work," You smirk and pull away. Despite cutting him off, a small grin remains on his face. You sit there for a few minutes longer, crossing off items on the syllabus, rearranging the schedule, and writing down suggestions. Hotch resigns himself to the fact that you will not be relinquishing your hold on the paper until you’ve made it exactly perfect. He knows you too well, you won’t stop until you think you’ve nailed it.

After a few minutes, you hand the paper back to him, thoroughly satisfied with all the changes you’ve made. He takes it from you, eyes scanning through the notes, flipping through the pages at a steady pace, "Hm," He lets out a small hum and you lean forward, attempting to spot which line he’s reading, "These are… really good changes." He nods and turns to look up at you, your face much closer now that you’ve leaned into him.

"Really?" Your heart flutters as his eyes flit down to your lips and back to your eyes, "I mean… of course they are," You tease, putting on a fake air of arrogance, but deep down you’re heart swells with pride that he’s impressed by your help.

He runs a hand along your jaw, hand wrapping around your throat, but it’s not tight or dominant like usual. His fingers are light on your skin and he just pulls you enough to bring your lips to his for a slow, sensual kiss. Your eyes flutter shut and you run your fingers up to knot in his hair, tugging on the roots. You’re the first to pull away from the kiss, "Now get back to work." You point down at the stack of essays on his desk.

"But it’s Wednesday," He's practically pouting up at you, "I set aside this time to be with you." His hand travels back a little, cupping your face, thumb rubbing your cheek, his fingers at the base of your neck.

"You obviously have a lot to get done. Don’t worry about it," You give a reassuring nod and get up, digging around in your bag to take out a book. You hold it up, "I have ways to entertain myself."

"You can come back later in the afternoon once I’m done all of this," He starts but you hold up your hand to stop him, settling back onto the edge of his desk.

"Get your work done. I don’t mind just sitting here with you," You give a warm smile before opening your novel and diving right in. He takes that as a sign that it’s okay to go ahead and continue working, and you both seem to fall into a rhythm, the only sound coming from the occasional creak and groan of the heater working overtime to combat the cold wintery weather outside.

He rests his right hand on your thigh again, every once in a while giving it a small squeeze, while his fingers trail over your skin. He uses his other hand to continue grading papers. It’s a comforting position. You sit there, fully focused on the book in your hand, but enjoy the comfort of his warm hands on your skin.

You both sit there in silence for nearly half an hour before you come to the end of your book closing it with a small sigh. You glance at the walls of titles and stand up from the desk, drawing Hotch’s attention away from his work. You hold your book close to your chest, slowly strolling past the shelves and shelves of books.

"Take any one you want." He gestures with his head in the direction of the shelves.

"Really?" You’re giddy with excitement, just itching to take the first 10 titles down and dive into reading them. You step closer, taking a moment to read every single spine and cover carefully.

"Mhm," Hotch mumbles under his breath, attempting to look at his work but his eyes are stuck on you as you slowly drift from shelf to shelf, eyes wide, trying to take in every single title.

"You know my birthday is next Friday," You hum softly and run your fingers over the spines of the books on the shelf. You turn and lean back against them, wagging your eyebrows playfully at him, "What are you going to get me?"

"I-" Hotch seems at a loss for words, his smile faltering slightly, "I’m not really great at giving gifts. I don’t ever feel like I know the person well enough to give them a meaningful gift."

"I’m teasing you," You laugh at his slight stuttering and discomfort, "I’m not the type to make a big fuss about my birthday."

"It’s your 21st. That’s a big deal," He nods, eliciting a small scoff and roll of your eyes.

You turn back around and pull a book from the shelf, turning through the pages quickly, "Is it? I mean I’ve always thought of age as something so irrelevant." You put the book up onto the shelf. Your eyes travel up to the higher shelves. The books higher up are probably some of the ones he doesn’t reach for as often, but you find yourself spotting some of your favorites up on the higher shelf. You stand up on your toes, reaching for his copy of Dracula.

"Why’s that?" He stands up from his chair and comes up behind you, reaching up over your shoulder to grab the book and hand it to you. You look over your shoulder at him with a small smile.

"I just don’t think age is necessarily a marker of any sense of intelligence, maturity, sophistication, experience," You walk around the office as you read through the pages, ignoring the written words, focusing all your energy on understanding his annotations. The pages are littered with highlights and notes on every free space on the page. The grin on your face grows more as you read it.

"Sorry, I forget you’re such a kid genius sometimes," Hotch teases you playfully.

You barely hear what he’s saying, taking a moment to absorb the thoughts present in the margins of the novel, "You really don’t like this book, huh?" You close it shut in one hand and look over at him. "You missed some of the most important parts."

"Oh did I?" He chuckles and leans against the shelves, crossing his arms.

"Yes! You missed the complexities of the point of view changes and the greater metaphors for sexuliaty and female sexual prowess." You protest angrily. Your love for literature is coming out at this moment and his smug, arrogant smirk, that you know so well, demonstrates he’s not going to be receptive to your opinion and will continue to believe his ideas are correct.

"I understand those arguments and see their evidence in the literature but it’s taking such a modern view of a Victorian novel. That’s not what the implications are to the Victorian reader o in the historical context of the book," He shrugs, "It’s such a reach."

"But isn’t that the only way to enjoy literature? That’s the only way a work can be timeless. Can you take into a modern context and still enjoy it while deriving some greater conclusions about the world around you?" You tut at him disapprovingly, "Yeah, I'm not taking literature advice from someone who doesn’t even own a copy of The Great Gatsby."

"Classics are overrated." His words are like a knife to your heart. Your jaw falls slack with shock and you can sense him resisting the urge to make a dirty joke.

You shake your head firmly,"First of all, some classics are overrated, but some are worthy of the title of classic. Second, The Great Gatsby is my favorite novel of all time so I will simply not tolerate any criticism. I cannot believe you don’t have it."

"I never understood the infatuation. The writing seems so… simplistic, the imagery is predictable and cliched."

You whirl around to look at him, placing a hand over your chest, feigning hurt feelings, "First of all, I am now taking this as a personal attack," He chuckles and shakes his head at your dramatics, "And the simplistic writing is what makes it so amazing. It seems so simple on the surface, and you can take the cliched, surface level metaphors and imagery and derive some bored, tired conclusions about Fitzgerald’s opinion of the American Dream. But there's so much more!" You shake your head, struggling to reach to put the book back up on the shelf.

"Okay, okay," He walks around to take the book from your hands placing it back in its rightful position, "I get it. My literature analyses are not good enough for you."

As he turns his attention back to you, you maintain his eye contact giving him a small shrug of your shoulders,"If you spend all your energy attempting to divide everything into strict categories or make stark divisions. You miss the important subtleties of the world around you." His brows furrow as he attempts to understand your point.

"I just think your law background has forced you into taking on a black and white mindset." You continue, "But the beauty in life is in the grays." He pauses for a second, letting the smile grow wider on his face. He leans forward, again connecting his lips with yours. His hands wrap around you, pulling you closer to him, pressing your soft warm body against his. You glance at the time, knowing that you’re going to be late for your next class, but you continue to kiss Hotch. You don’t want this moment to end.

Everything feels so perfect. You’re so happy, so content. But nothing this good can last forever.

Chapter 10: I.X →

[ourladylennon]

1/2) About Fraser, a couple of quotes that caught my eye:

"Robert represented to me freedom, freedom of speech, of view"

"The most formative influence for me was Robert Fraser. Obviously the other Beatles were very important but the most formative art influence was Robert. I expect people to die so I don’t feel a loss but there’s a vacuum where he used to be"

"The way Robert lived, which became the way I lived for a couple of years and which I now figure for a rather aristocratic way of life, would be that he’d ring early in the day and say, ‘What are we doing for dinner tonight?’

'Once I got to know Robert, a nice thing would be going to the gallery and helping install an exhibition. Just sit around and smoke a bit of pot while somebody else was installing the exhibition. Helping. Play a little music for him.’ 

"There were many good times in Robert’s flat. Through my Beatle connections I’d hire a 16mm projector for the evening […] and I started off with Wizard of Oz. Robert got into this, wow, and he’d get some art movies. We got a lot of Bruce Connors, showed a lot of that. It was a very exciting period."

The boy sounded smitten, didn't he? Maybe nothing physical happened, (Robert was allegedly into darker men) but it looks like Paul liked the idea of being "romanced" by this handsome and sophisticated guy. There was an undertone of cozy, easy intimacy between them. You can tell by the way Bob would call to plan what they'd do for dinner. How Paul would sit there playing music for his eyes only while someone else was installing the exhibition. It speaks volumes that someone as image oriented as Paul went to Paris with an openly gay man without caring what others would say. It suggests a deep connection. The story about their "netflix and chill" encounters in Robert's flat is so suggestive as well. Paul could've been anywhere and yet there he was watching Wizard of Oz with this dude. I'd say those encounters were not about Paul's love of cinema. He just wanted to be around Bob. They most likely drank, did drugs and in my opinion, fooled around a bit, for the fun of it. It sounds like a fantastic way to spend the time, 10/10 recommended.

Paul also had a strong relationship with Tara for the short time they knew each other. The fact he did LSD with him before the other Beatles implies a lot of trust. Tara was very responsible and sweet in that occasion, staying sober to look after Paul in case he had a bad trip. I loved that about him. He was really concerned about keeping Paul safe and giving him a good time. They always hung out when they had the chance and John really disliked the guy. Then there is Tara's Christmas trip to Liverpool. I'm aware he knew Paul's brother Mike first and they were friendly but there was such an air of "meet the parents" about this situation. I'm not entirely convinced they were physical but I could sense a romantic crush. Tara was married but as a beautiful society swan in the Rolling Stones' circle, I think he was quite open to experimentation.

part 2 and my answer below read line :)

2/2) Again, I would never call Paul bisexual but I do think he was more attracted to men in a romantic/platonical sense than people realize. He enjoyed immensely the attention and the company of some guys. He would open up emotionally with them, learn their craft and incorporate their habits in a way he rarely did with his women, not even Linda. It looks like Paul wouldn't unlock certain corners of his mind unless a man he was drawn to gave him that permission. This is probably why he associated Fraser with freedom.

John was the most important of all because in a way, Paul would've never discovered and accepted himself without him. He used to kill frogs and engage in unruly behavior as a child to repress that soft, romantic persona he would become so famous for. Meeting a charismatic, brilliant boy who appreciated that vulnerable side of him must've been exhilarating. As they became a songwriting team, they both started seeing creation as sex, a view they'd carry for the rest of their lives. It's telling that once Paul lost John permanently, he went looking for the next man to fall in love with. But not even Elvis Costello, Stevie Wonder or Michael Jackson were enough to fill that gap.

Which convinces me of the eroticism of his relationship with John. It was the one connection he didn't have with all the others (with the possible exception of Fraser) and this is why the collaborations would often end up somewhat unfulfilled. He might've loved them intellectually but the erotic element wasn't there and it made a difference in the results.

About McLennon, few people dispute they were in love with each other these days. But what are the odds that two people who felt so strongly about each other and had plenty of chances to consummate their feelings in a physical way not doing it? They would crash and burn within six months. It's all speculation because Paul won't tell us but I don't think it's that much of a radical idea. I think a lot of stuff will come out once Yoko passes away and Paul faces his own mortality.

P.S: juicy bit about Heather, I'm bummed that we don't get enough info about this period because of that divorce NDA.

//

Anon, you are a well-researched individual and I’m impressed. This was the first thing I read this morning it was like a morning newspaper lol, thanks.

I entirely see what you mean about intimate undertones. "Cozy” seems like a good word to describe the general feel. I *tried* reading up some more on their relationship and I get a sense that Paul in general had a great admiration for Robert and your right- has that element of creation which is so essential to Paul’s being and probably his attraction. Robert seems to have given him a different side of creating than John did: art. That clearly created a bond for them and had some impact. Like with the movies and projectors, yeah cool and all, but “an exciting period” goes a bit deeper than that for sure. He clearly learned a lot from him about art, but whose to say about what else? The way Paul talks seems like he really admired, respected and trusted the man at the very least (I am even reading this quote that seems to imply Paul and Robert did hallucinogenic drugs together unless I’m misreading? That’d be a big leap of trust just like with Tara which still boggles me).

It’s not too big of a stretch to think Paul did enjoy being romanced, in exactly the way you put it, by some guy who was “handsome and sophisticated” who he found to be interesting, different, above average, with a new exciting form of expression. And not romanced in the obvious sense; more so unassuming things like having an intimate understanding of art with one another, who felt his equal in terms of that area of art, who was putting in the effort of engaging with him, showing him something others hadn’t, being so willing to share with Paul and to open his mind. You can definitely be romanced in friendships too though so I’m not saying this is exclusively any one thing in particular, though I myself do sense an undercurrent of more-than-standard interest after reading some more. In a nutshell, pretty much what you said:

I do think he was more attracted to men in a romantic/platonical sense than people realize. He enjoyed immensely the attention and the company of some guys. He would open up emotionally with them, learn their craft and incorporate their habits in a way he rarely did with his women

I still don’t think he would ever connect the dots of what that meant or what it could mean. I think to him, it just was what it was.

With John specifically, yeah there’s just no question for me. To me, they are every bit of the lore and legend of what soul mates are made of. Fire & passion on all levels. No disrespect to any of their longterm relationships outside of each other, because they clearly had deep feelings for their other partners, but I sincerely don’t think it that it connected on every level like it did with John/Paul. But of course, I still fall on the side of thinking nothing sexual ever happened (for more reasons than one I could see why they wouldn’t have fooled around imo). With 67/68 being that turning point where they *did* crash and burn because perhaps someone tried something- words or other- or perhaps nothing happened and that could have precisely been the cracking point.

I do find it interesting that Paul’s hanging around with Robert was right around this tumultuous period of John and Paul’s relationship...kind of makes you think doesn’t it? Like does this have any influence on what happened in India sort of thing; John seeing Paul being good, close friends with a gay man. Could it have stirred something up for John? Made him see a possibility where he hadn’t before? Interesting to think about and which I hadn’t thought about before....

I genuinely hope that Paul shares anything important with us before he passes. He doesn’t owe us anything, but my god would I die to know everything that happened between them and everything they felt. 

[thestupidhelmet]

What do you think is each character’s best season of the series, character wise and why. Think we can eliminate season 8 completely for everyone

Fez: Season 4

Fez’s relationship with Rhonda brings out the best in him*. He doesn’t act entitled to sex*. Rather, he puts his love for Rhonda over his desire to lose his virginity. He enjoys being with her, not because of what he thinks he could get sexually but because of who she is. His treatment of Jackie is no longer dependent on his sexual/romantic desire for her. His friendship with Hyde is highlighted again.

The 100th episode of the series, “That ‘70s Musical” (4x24), is centered on him. It’s ultimately his story. He gets to sing and dance, and we get a lot of insight into how he thinks and feels about his friends. His fears and hopes. 

*Sadly, for as much growth and development as season 4 gives him, the end  destroys all that growth and begins the downward spiral of his character(ization).

Kelso: Season 6.

Kelso’s character is given layers through his relationship with Brooke and training to become a cop. He’s also given a true character arc, where he matures and becomes less selfish -- though not completely. For example, he still takes his friends’ toys (and destroys them) without asking. But he does finally “let Jackie go” at the beginning of the season. His sense of entitlement toward her ends, and he even tries to reconcile her and Hyde.

Brooke’s pregnancy with their child -- and reticence to let him be part of their child’s life -- challenges him beyond a struggle for impulse control. We get to see him be cowardly and overcome it. To fight for a place in his child’s life and in Brooke’s. If season 7 had continued his development from this place, he could’ve ended up with one of the more satisfying series arcs.

Jackie: Season 5

Jackie grows leaps and bounds in self-awareness during the season, through her relationship with Hyde. She self-examines, changes old patterns of behavior and self-limiting beliefs. She also doesn’t accept less than what she’s worth after Hyde betrays her in “You Shook Me” (5x22).

She’s shown to appreciate the generosity of others toward people who aren’t her (e.g., Hyde buying Eric a plane ticket to California, before knowing Hyde used Eric’s own money to do it). She shows gratitude to Donna (by making the monthly payment for Donna’s engagement ring) in “No Quarter” (5x20) for putting up with Jackie’s less-than-stellar qualities as a roommate. She puts herself on the line to protect Hyde from being kicked out of the Formans’ house (”Misty Mountain Hop” [5x12])].

She comforts Kelso as a friend because of her compassion for him, despite Hyde’s “order” not to spend time alone with him. She learns to ask assertively for what she wants and/or needs assertively, not in a manipulative, controlling way (mostly). Ultimately, she truly starts to grow up and into her true strength.

Hyde: Season 2

Besides him being particularly funny in episodes, the re-characterization of his core self and  personal moral code (first depicted in “Prom Night” [1x19) ]is explored fully in this season. He’s a good friend to Donna without any strings attached or sense of entitlement. He also doesn’t act entitled to his place in the Formans’ home but gets a job to help them financially (since Red’s out of a job) and show his gratitude.

But his complexity, compassion for the vulnerable, and noble self-sacrifice really come out during his interactions and arc with Jackie. I’ve written many metas on this subject, so I won’t rehash them here.

Donna: Season 1

Donna is shown to be a good friend, particularly to Eric, Hyde, and Jackie. With Jackie, in particular, their developing friendship is a satisfying season-long story arc .

Donna is funny and playful during this season, and she stands up for herself when Eric and Hyde disrespect her. Her arc of transitioning from friendship to romance with Eric is well-written, for the most part, with all her fears and hopes -- and she really comes across like a teenager in this season.

Eric: Season 1

Some of the reasons I stated above for Donna apply to him (i.e. he’s funny and playful, truly comes across as a teenager, and his arc of transitioning from friendship to romance with Donna is well-written). But we also get the complex dynamics between him and his parents. The scene in “Career Day” (1x18) where his mom drives him home after shadowing her at the hospital is one of the best scenes of the show, imo. Another is Eric’s scene with Red toward the end of “Grandma’s Dead” (1x23).

Eric's friendship toward Hyde is highlighted, especially in the second half of the season. No one seems to know Hyde as well as Eric does. Hyde’s love for Eric (and respect of Eric’s opinion) is essentially what keeps Hyde from running off to New York. Eric does what he can to keep Hyde fed after Edna abandons him -- even when Hyde denies how much trouble he’s in. Eric then advocates for Hyde’s survival to Red and Kitty and accepts whatever sacrifices that might mean for himself (though not without some insecurity about it at the end of the season).

Red and Kitty: Season 2

Red and Kitty’s love, respect, and support for each other is evident throughout this season, particularly during Red’s arc of losing his job to getting  a new one.

They’re funny and loving and in love. I’ve never written a meta solely dedicated to analyzing their relationship, but during seasons 1-4, their relationship is depicted consistently. They’re not just staying married out of convenience or complacency. They have a true bond.

[rose-tarts-and-angel-hearts]

Twisted Wonderland OCs; Ignatius Aquarii and Kelly Linette

{Art Credit: Pic crew}

Twisted from Maui from Moana

Name: Ignatius Aquarii

Name meaning: Ignatius; Means fiery one, I chose this name for him as Maui’s name meant “the god of fire” so I tried to choose a name somewhat similar ( hopefully)  Aquarii; I took Ignatius’s surname from one of the brightest stars in his zodiac sign; Aquarius, the star’s full name is ‘beta Aquarii’ 

 Age: 16 

Birthday: February 9  

Star sign: Aquarius 

Myers Briggs Personality Type: ESTP- A

Alinement: Chaotic good 

Gender: Male  

Height: 184cm (6ft)

Hair Color: White  #ffffff  with strands of very pale blue hair  #ebebff

Eye Colour: Very light blue  #94caff

Dominate Hand: Ambidextrous

Homeland: Land of Pyroxene   

Species: Human

School: Noble Swan University

Dorm: Riffmond

Year: 1st

Occupation: Student 

Club: Basketball club 

Best Subject:  Practical magic

Favorite Food: Sashimi, Unagi (freshwater eel), roast or fried chicken

Least Favorite Food: Fried Eggs 

Likes: tattoos, The beach, Telling/ Boasting about his achievements.

Dislikes: People who don’t walk the talk ( In other words, People who does not do what one said one could do, or would do, not just making empty promises. ), nagging

Hobby: Surfing, Playing the guitar, DJ’ing

Talents: Shadow puppets,  Arcade games, Lock picking

Unique Magic: ink world

Ignatius has the ability to send people into an ‘ink world’  in their minds, which leaves them in a vulnerable and dazed state. To explain in detail, the person Ignatius uses his unique magic on, turns unresponsive as if they are in a trance. ( For example In the song “ You’re welcome” Moana was in a different (?) world in her head while her body was spun into a cave so that Maui could steal her boat. )

Appearance

Ignatius is Tall and pretty muscular, with naturally tanned skin. He has light cyan-ish eyes that are slightly pointed and upturned, his hair is white with strands of very pale blue hair, that is brushed back, he has a short blue braid hanging down the right side of his face. Ignatius has many ear piercings and Tattoos, ( on his upper body, neck, chest, arms ) he proudly displays them by wearing a black singlet, and an unbuttoned white collared shirt that is slightly pulled down to show off the tattoos he got on his shoulder. He wears black cargo pants that are secured with a black belt  and are tucked into military boots. His purple dorm ribbon is tied on one of the belt loops (?). He also dons many silver rings and an enchanted charm bracelet made by Kelly. 

Personality

Ignatius gives off a rather..hmm what’s that word...oh oh! F-boy impression, as he’s always teasing and seems to not be serious about anything, but he’s actually quite a sweetheart, going out of his way to help people he considers friends, though he may be quite mischievous and tactless. Ignatius is rather boastful and egotistical, which would usually lead people like him into trouble since he’s a quite rash person,  but he doesn’t get into physical fights, he usually uses his unique magic to just embarrass the person in some way. Though Ignatius make act like a dumb dumb sometimes, he’s actually really smart, both street smart and academically, in terms of grades he comes in fourth place in his level. He can be rather perceptive too and will show care and concern for those he cares about, but mostly prefers to keep things fast-paced and silly rather than emotional or serious. 

Backstory

Ignatius’s mother remarried a wealthy business man a few years after Ignatius was born. ( Ignatius’s father passed away before he was born) As Ignatius’s step-father didn’t have any kids of his own, he doted a lot on Ignatius, thus spoiling him a lot. Ever since Ignatius was young he showed a lot of potential and talent of being a good wizard, thus receiving a lot of praise from his parents, teachers, and friends. This soon got to his head, and he became very arrogant and disrespectful towards people he considered ‘lower’ than himself, he lost a lot of friends in the process, and was out casted by most of them. At first Ignatius  acted like he was fine with people ignoring him, though he actually felt a bit lonely inside. Soon he grew tired of people out casting him but was too prideful to apologize, so he decided to play truant, his mindset was changed after meeting an ‘angel’ during one of his escapes.

Trivia

-Ignatius is ambidextrous but prefers to use his left hand.

-He has 10 ear piercings in total, and over 16 tattoos

-He got his first tattoo at 13 years old ( His mother screamed at him when she found out )

-He has 1 ‘magic tattoo’ on his arm of a mini him, Ignatius will ‘activate’ mini Ignatius to dance and perform on the other tattoos he has to entertain people.

-Kelly used to be the one who’ll braid his hair but since they’re in different dorms, he recently learned to do it himself.

-Ignatius is horrible at cooking thus he hates fried eggs as he doesn’t know how to control the heat, so his eggs always end up burnt.

-Ignatius would be in Scarabia if he went to NRC

{ART CREDIT: top-left to right; Drawing done by me ( I know it sucks..sorry for scaring your eyes), Picture from V roid Mobile, Picture from Pic crew. Middle-Left to right; Yerenica from seduce the villain’s father ( I thought they looked pretty similar! Hence why I used her photo here.), Kelly’s uniform link here!, Yerenica, Bottom-Left to right; V roid mobile, Yerenica, V roid mobile}

Name: Kelly Linette 

Name meaning: Kelly; Means warrior or Bright minded ( In Kelly’s case I wanted to utilize both meanings in her name, As I wanted her to be both smart and strong, someone who does not give up easily, and uses her wit and intelligence to solve problems.)   Linette; Means pretty one. The name is also derived from a songbird, the Linnet. ( I wanted to use this as her surname as I wanted her to be pretty  I wanted this to symbolize how she’s good at singing, like how linnet birds are known for their melodious voices.)

Age: 15 (She’s a year younger as she skipped a level/grade)

Myers Briggs Personality Type: ENFJ- T

Alinement: Neutral Good

Gender: Female

Height: 147 cm ( 4′10ft  ) 

Hair Color:  Very pale pink  #ffe9f0

Eye colour: Very light Cyan  #87d6eb

Dominate Hand: Right

Homeland: Empire of Fortune 

Species: Human

School: Noble Swan University

Dorm: Briable

Year: 1st

Occupation: Student, famous singer

Club: Board Game Club

Best Subject: Magical Enchantments 

Favorite Food:  Strawberry and Milk Kakigori  , Spicy food

Least Favorite Food: Cilantro

Likes: Winning, free time

Dislikes: Disappointing others/letting people down, People who shrink away from their responsibilities.

Hobby: Making enchanted Charm bracelets, exercising  

Talents: Singing, weight lifting, reading and manipulating people

Unique Magic: Lucky Stars 

Kelly’s Unique Magic is called “Lucky Stars”. This ability gives her an automatic and continuous supply of good luck, she’s able to use this ability by saying  “ Star light, star bright, The first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight” , whenever she recites this things will always turn in her favor, be it a test or a battle, her wishes will always come true, she is able to project this into her charm bracelets, though it’s not as effective and acts more like warding charm, she’s only able to use her unique magic for a total of 40 minutes in a day, as it takes a lot of magic and effort to keep it up.

Appearance

Kelly is short and petite, with a very fair complexion. She has long pastel pink hair that is styled in a half-up do tied with her dorm ribbon, her hair ends below her butt. She has big doe like eyes that are a pale cyan, which are framed by long and thick eyelashes.(very pretty! I wanna be pretty too~~) She has a very innocent doll-like appearance. She wears grey checkered uniform ( uniform in the picture! but the skirt ends around her mid-thigh) with a ribbon of her dorm colour, tied around her collar and is secured with a white and gold brooch, she wears black mary jane shoes with lacey white ankle socks.  She has a very ethereal-angel-ish vibe overall. 

Personality

Kelly is very kind and understanding person, accepting everyone as they are and doesn’t judge anyone, she’s a passionate altruist, warm and selfless, sometimes even to a fault. However, Kelly is quite manipulative, she’s gifted in people reading and is natural-born leader, full of passion, charismatic charm and a natural confidence that begets influence, she isn’t always manipulating people to hurt them or for personal gain, she simply wants people to do more or better because it will benefit them or help them realize some potential. She’s likeable and trustworthy and, as a result, others are generally compelled to listen and follow her. Though Kelly can and will purposely manipulate those who treat her friends badly. Kelly has good control of her behavior and words, but she will purposely snap to those who try to use her or her friends, before simply covering up her actions with her silver tongue. “ Can’t you put on a better show for me? pretty please!” * Smiles cutely*  Despite having a natural confidence, she defines her self-esteem by whether she’s are able to live up to others’ ideals, so she’s quite insecure, always wondering about what she could’ve done better. If she fails to meet a goal or people’s expectations of her, her self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet.

Backstory

Kelly came from quite a normal family, if having renowned parents were considered normal at least, her father was a famous fashion designer and her mother, a world-wide known actress, both ‘fell in love’ after Kelly’s mother was scouted as the main model for her father’s brand.  Since Kelly’s parents were very prominent people in the entertainment world, she been in the spotlight since she was born. As both of Kelly’s parents were workaholics, she was often brought along business trips and photoshoots, she was famous among scouters for her beauty and sweet voice, thus it wasn’t long before Kelly herself was offered contracts. One of her contracts required her to go to the Land of Pyroxene for an advertisement, where she met a peculiar boy.

Trivia

- Kelly has a insanely high spice tolerance, she can probably eat a Carolina reaper like it’s a snack.

- Kelly doesn’t know how to use social media so she doesn’t have a magicam account...(yet)

- 1st in her grade for studies. 

- Kelly has wavy hair that tangles easily, it may look super soft to run your fingers through-and it is-only if you can get through the knots first.

- Kelly is very innocent she doesn’t understand about  *cough reproduction cough* 

- Isn’t educated in the way of memes, trends, vines, slang.

- Kelly is gifted in singing, but she’s horrible with music instruments.

- Known as the ‘Angel’ in NSU.

- F e n c i n g 

- Kelly may be small in size, but she’s surprisingly strong! She could probably carry Jack around all day if she wanted to.

-Puppy dog eyes 24/7

- Kelly sucks at computer games or any online game.

@twistinghearts   @nobleswansong​ ( Hehe! I was anon who asked if I could tag you! I hope these OCs aren’t made super badly...)

[rappaccini]

thinking a lot abt how each of the hargreeves’ powers is a stand-in for attributes one might take on when growing up in an abusive home.

luther’s superstrength: the unintentional capacity to harm. being used to a different standard of behavior, to the extent that you have to guard your movements because you might unintentionally harm someone, because you’re used to being swung at hard, and you’ve learned to emulate that behavior, to have such a tolerance to it that you don’t realize it can really hurt someone who doesn’t. you know it’s something you can’t just do, but you can’t not do it, because you can’t turn it off. it’s the only thing your body knows how to do.

see: luther’s body language, for most of the season. he doesn’t mean to destroy things, or hurt people, he just keeps stumbling into it, and has to guard himself against it. and... well. he gives into them. for a good reason, he tells himself, but he gives into them.

diego’s super-precision: an intended capacity to harm, one that you’re so comfortable with, that’s become so easy and natural, that you’re so used to using to guard against someone taking advantage of your vulnerability (which you’ve spent a lot of your childhood having done to you, or being told that it will be done to you), that it keeps slipping out of you when you feel slightly threatened. 

see: his verbal berating of luther and vanya and allison and, to an extent, eudora. he knows exactly where to hit them to make them feel humiliated or alone or angry or disrespected and he can’t help but keep digging and digging at them.

allison’s rumoring: manipulation of others into doing what you want, being who you want, and giving you what you want. something you learn to do because you learn that nothing good ever comes for free, and that if you want love, or success or safety, you’d better claw your way in and make people give it to you, because they won’t let you have it in any other way. or, if they would, the way to get to it is totally alien to you. you have no idea what it is, let alone how to engage with it. so you fall back on the manipulation, because it’s familiar, because at least you can do that.

see: all the shit she canonically does that the show doesn’t want us to think too hard about. rumoring herself a career, a husband (and potentially other lovers, but noticeably not luther), a child. 

klaus’s seeing ghosts: being haunted. literally, being haunted by what happened, or by the people that hurt you, to such an extent that those memories follow you everywhere, that they surround you, that you can’t escape them and find yourself unable to function in everyday life.

see: ... i mean. the literal ghosts.

five’s time-traveling: trauma fucks with your relationship with time and space. you become hyper-aware of where you are, and where you have to go to get away from a situation the second it goes a way you don’t like. it happened fifty years ago or a day ago, it’s happening right now, it’ll happen tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that, and you have trouble telling the difference. and you can get as far away from trauma as you want physically or chronologically, but at any second, you can be sucked back into it mentally, or find yourself unable to get yourself out of a location when you need it the most.

see: five getting trapped in the future and the department store. five, having flashbacks to being trapped in the apocalypse. 

and of course the more obvious: because of this strange relationship with time, you feel like you’ve grown up so fast, when you haven’t at all. or you grow up, yet you’re still acting like a child.

see: five’s a physically-13-year-old who’s legally 29 and has a 29-year-old peer group, with a 58-year-old mind.

ben’s tentacles: trauma is ugly. trauma is scary. trauma is nausea-inducing. it’s going to burst out and leave a big mess whether you ignore it or indulge it. and you cannot control it as much as you want to be able to, and as much as everyone around you wants you to be able to, and it feels like it’s going to literally eat you from the inside out.

see: the siblings’ reaction to ben’s powers in the bank robbery. big dead-dove-don’t-eat vibes. 

vanya’s initial lack of power: having your agency stripped from you. being isolated, being made helpless and being taught to suppress. being overlooked and neglected.

and her power itself: an unstoppable storm of emotion that’ll consume everything in your life, because all those feelings you’ve been hiding for so long, that you’ve been taught to hide for your entire life, are on their way out, and you can’t stop it. 

yeah. so. it’s not a coincidence that their powers go on to fuck up their lives beyond traditional repair.