#his name is vasil hehe

[mynqzo]

the alchemist

[fangaminghell]

Hi, I'm here for more insurgence rewrite content. Tell me literally anything that you've cooked up recently :D

Hehe!

So this is something that I talked about before but it's nice to actually explain it: The Timeless and the cults. I'll hopefully not make this super long lol.

I'm realizing, thinking about it, there's a lot to unpack, so for now, I'll keep things short by explaining the relationship between the Timeless and the first Infernal cult leader, who is Jaern's ancestor.

In my rewrite I pretty much. Tossed out the old Timeless and replaced them with my own ocs lol. The two important ones for this little story is Vasilios ( my replacement of Verysn) and Nikolas. Vasil is/was the king of Torren in this au, and was chosen by Diancie. Vasil was the one that stumbled upon the void gauntlet/the throne of hegemon ( which might get some tweaks later on we'll see). He fell into the pool of starry waters, which was made him see glimpses of what to come- Nyx, chosen ones, the crystal- all of which had led Vasil to Arceus. That's when Arceus itself gave Vasil his duty to protect the crystal and was ultimately chosen by Diancie ( via Arceus). Nikolas is Vasil's right hand man, a head knight who is severely loyal to his king. He is also the chosen one of Keldeo. Him and Vasil are in love. Just thought I'd mention that.

Jaern's ancestor was a good friend to both of them. How exactly they all met I haven't fleshed out but the vague idea I have is that they found her one day, took her in and they've been friends ever since ( Nik used to be jealous of her, given how close she and Vasil would be. She would tease him for it later down the line lol. They became good friends!). Jaern's ancestor ( I should really get a name for her) was a genuinely kind woman. She wanted to help the world in earnest, and thus has taken up medicine. Despite her efforts though, she always mused on how she wishes she could do more for the world. That is, until she stumbled upon the crystal. I don't think I thought out how she found it- maybe I explained it before but I forgot. But she did, and was ecstatic! Something with immense power- it could heal so many people! Vasil, however, wasn't as pleased that she found out. I should mention that Vasil is a sweetheart. He truly is. If it was up to him, he would have used the crystals power to make his home so much better for everyone, but it's still a crystal with infinite power. If gotten to the wrong hands, it could be disastrous, especially when Nyx is a looming threat (according to Arceus n his visions). It was too much of a risk. So when Jaern's ancestor suggested making the crystal public, Vasil adamantly denied it. It had caused a small argument between the two, but it ended with Vasil convincing Jaern's ancestor to just let it go, that the risk of it all would be too great ( without mentioning the whole Arceus stuff).

And that was that.....until it wasn't.

Jaern's ancestor does have a deep sense of justice within her. She wants to help the world, but never seems to have the right resources to do so. The crystal would be on her mind for ages. It would help heal the world, it could help so many people if Vasil just let it be known! That was when she decided to take a risk of her own: she attempted to take the crystal for herself. She snuck into the caves, found the crystal again, and just when she tried to take it- it wouldn't budge. Vasil and Nik was there behind her ( she didn't realize she was being followed), and explained that the only way for the crystal to be moved is if you beat the original owner in battle- him. Jaern's ancestor had no pokemon, nor any proper combat training. She would not win, even if she tried. Again, she tried to reason with him, tried to convince him that it would help so many people - but her going back to the crystal was already enough. With a heavy heart, Vasil exiled Jaern's ancestor. He couldn't take that risk. No matter how much it hurts seeing the pain in her face.

Vasil allowed her to gather her things before leaving. He was not expecting her to gather some doctors and healers to leave with her. He didn't expect her to quietly vow getting the crystal for all to use. He hadn't expected her to form the first cult. The Sky Cult......though if you'd ask her, she'd looked at you with disgust if you call what she's doing "cult work". I can't stress enough, Jaern's ancestor isn't doing what she's doing for power. She just wants people to have the resources they need to live, and the absolute best one is literally being hidden away. And she thinks that's unfair. Truly unfair. And even if she doesn't get the crystal ( which she is determined to get), she won't stop helping where she can. Exiled or not.

Some smaller things

Pre- Crystal, Jaern's ancestor had always had a connection to the sky. You'd find her playing her lute on a high place when the sky is nice and clear.

Vasil and her LOVED teasing Nikolas lol. Vasil even more so, in her opinion, but he denies it. She Knows What's Up though.

Post Exile Jaern's ancestor went from someone who was pretty dainty in appearance to someone who ended up being fairly muscular.

At some point she ends up dying, perhaps in a final battle between her and Vasil. I think despite everything, they consider each other their greatest friends, and deeply respect each other. Her death is one of Vasil's biggest regrets.

In connection to the above, I also imagined that by that point she had a child and husband. I think her final wish was for them to live comfortably. Vasil made sure her wish came true.

Aaaaand I think that's everything! There's other Insurgence stuff, but I love these guys, so here you go!

[borisbubbles]

ESC 2021 Preshow: 08. France

Barbara Pravi - “Voilà”

Autoqualifier

France going from 3rd last on my ranking / likely last place in the finale to 8th place in the ranking / probably top 3 in the Grand Final. 😍 WHAT A GLOW-UP.

So, “Voilà” is epic, obviously. Yeah I will skip the theatrics, each and every one of you know this song and we all know it’s probably the best French entry in ages. 

Funnily enough, I didn’t care for “Voilà” when I first heard it lmfao. It felt similar to the song Patricia Kaas went to Eurovision with and while “Et s’il faillait le faire” has its fans, I was never one of them. Worse, the internet immediately resorted to refering to “Voilà” as a “masterpiece” which is probably the pretentious statement you can make about Eurovision songs. Guys, it’s an Edith Piaf-inspired tribute act. Calm the eff down. Still, even at this early a stage I was instantly charmed by Barbara’s introspection and pluck even if I didn’t care for the music at first. After all, Barbara was the mastermind behind jesc HITS “Bim bam toi” and “J’imagine” and if she wants to bring a song that puts HER SELF at the forefront, she’s perfectly entitled to do so. About fucking time. On top of that, I thought the ending was sublime, even in studio version. “Why can’t the entire song be like that”, I thought. And then, E:CVQD arrived and Barbara SERVED, OUTSOLD, SLAYED, etc every superlative under the sun. 

So remember when I aired my critique regarding Gjon? “Tout l’Univers” is an “Objectively Strong” composition in that it employs music theory to conjure up a song that sounds impressive on first listen. But behind that academic skill lies virtually nothing of interest. I cannot connect with it beyond a base level because what does it tell me about Gjon or his story? Technique without a heart or a soul is merely pretense. But I suppose it can sound sophisticated to someone who doesn’t know what “sophistication” is. 

Barbara, however. Her personality just SPRINGS FORWARD on an approachable level from the first note. “Voilà”s’s technical expertise and Barbara’s own perfomance talents carry this vibe, this SERVE of personality, through the full three minutes without ever getting boring or tedious and they leave me craving for another listen. ALL OF THESE ARE AMAZING TRAITS IN A EUROVISION SONG. And this is just from the studio version, the live stage show makes it even better. 

So yeah, homeboy’s got his work cut out for him because if this is his competition he’ll have to graft hard for his victory.

NF Corner -  C’est Vous Qui Décidez

In what would become a running theme amidst countries this year, France led the charge in a personal project called #OperationForget2020, in which every trace of last year would be subsequently memory-holed. To acheive this, they revived their NF, gave it a new name and pretended it was ~The First NF of Its Format~ (so basically doing what Lithuania did last year when they rebranded Atranka into PiN).

INCIDENTALLY, this would also wind up the best NF of the year, pretty much by default because France had the most to win. Even though Barbara was the obvious winner from the instant the songs were revealed, the French had some excellent back-up options in their arsenal. Let’s rummage through them shall we?

LMK - “Magique”

R&B Trap wench <3 “Magique” starts off pretty and cute for fifteen seconds, before whiplashing hard into kick-ass tropical house territory. Her Slovene spirit mothers Raiven and Lea Sirk are so proud of her <3 She definitely deserved much better than the result she got (being NQ with the audience O_O), but lol it’s France, they ain’t NEVER crowning a sexually confident sassy woman, let’s not kid ourselves. 

Céphaz - “On a mangé le soleil”

This Hat God had me at that title. “We have eaten the sun” 😍😍😍😍. More songs should adopt a fatalistic environmental angle by using consumption-related metaphors à la “we’ve devoured out planet :burp:, MOAR”, and then set this suuuuper cynical and depressing text to an upbeat and optimistic soundtrack <3 The “Hey ya” tease of it all. 😍

Amui - “Maeva”

So cheerful it turns a surly cretin such as myself into a blundering mass of uwu. It’s like a nillies Eurovision semi NQ’er suddenly wandered into the set, so derivative and repetitive and tacky but SO fun and happy-go-lucky <3 The entire premise of “Maeva” is basically like: “VISIT FRENCH POLYNESIA, WE ARE THE MOST HOSPITABLE PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH” <333 using this message in the middle of a worldwide viral pandemic <33333333 Normally fun-trash like this would be murdered at first sight by any jury, but whoops “Maeva” turned out a massive televote hit HEHEE 😛 and finished third in the televote despite being last or second last with the jury. Those Tahitian diasporia votes coming through <3

Adriamad - “Allélujah”

TACKY EUROTRASH <3 Lol when I think of it, did I like this NF because it was good or because it was so fun-trash. Anyway, this display of diversity would normally be on my shitlist but it’s honestly SO OTT in its ~People Of The World Of All Colours Are Equal~ message it circles back into funny. The eye gimmick, the hammy choreography, the obnoxious fusion of several cultures into a nondescript ethnotrash hodgepodge, the fucking LYRICS everything is so funny and so entertaining it’s giving me LIFE. 😍 I’d say it deserved better but “Allélujah” stranding in the demifinal (not a typo) is honestly a much, much more satisfying result <3

Predicted Journey - France

Barbara is going on that Mahmood trajectory, I see. Early fave who gets near unanimous critical acclaim, rules solely on top until the other contenders show up and is then put on the backburner because she’s an autoqualifier and therefore isn’t a part of the “who will qualify?” discussions. Then, the rehearsals will happen and everyone will remember “hey, that French chick we almost forgot about is actually REALLY good” allowing her to pick up momentum again, catapulting her into the top five. So it is written, such it shall be.

The question is... Can she win? 

The answer is: yeah, possibly? At this point we have three potential contenders: Gjon for Switzerland and Destiny for Malta are the main rivals and I’d say Barbara has one big advantage over Gjon and Destiny: She already has a great live performance to back up her potential winner status. In fact, Barbara is a fave to win because we know what she’s going to bring in Rotterdam.  Gjon and Destiny could theoretically still bomb if their staging is off (and both are getting theirs done by Sasha Jean-Baptiste, soooooo) and their contenderness is based on things such as hype and expectation. Barbara meanwhile already had her baptism by fire when she competed in E:CQVD, which she handily won.

The problem though is Gjon Muharremaj. For the average eurofan, France and Switzerland have similar entries and it will result in a tug-of-war between which of them has the better song. Either could win this televote bout, and whoever does could beat Malta.. .but that would require Malta to have a disappointing televote result and with each passing day this is starting to look less likely. (Jury results matter less because they’re probably the top 3).  Personally I don’t really have a preference between Barbara OR Destiny as a win for either would push Eurovision in a better direction (A Gjon win though... I am TERRIFIED that may result in a 2022 contest filled with Vincent Bueno’s and Vasils), but if these three are indeed the top three, Barbara’s position is the most secure although she’s probably also the least likely one to actually win. Pray that I’m wrong though and we can all meet at her flat in Montmartre for a covid-proof afterparty. 

Projected placements:

> Grandfinal: 1st-5th (predicted Runner-up)

THE RANKING: 

01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. FRANCE - Barbara Pravi - “Voilà” 09. BULGARIA - Victoria - “Growing up is getting old” 10. LATVIA - Samanta Tina - “The moon is rising” 11. GREECE - Stefania - “Last dance” 12. SWEDEN - Tusse - “Voices” 13. IRELAND - Leslie Roy - “Maps” 14. CROATIA - Albina - “Tick Tock” 15. MOLDOVA - Natalia Gordienko - “Sugar” 16. ITALY - Måneskin - “Zitti e buoni” 17. ALBANIA - Anxhela Peristeri - “Karma” 18. UNITED KINGDOM - James Newman - “Embers” 19. LITHUANIA - The Roop - “Discoteque” 20. ESTONIA - Uku Suviste - “The lucky one” 21. FINLAND - Blind Channel - “Dark side” 22. AZERBAIJAN - Efendi - “Mata Hari” 23. the NETHERLANDS - Jeangu Macrooy - “Birth of a new age” 24. CZECH REPUBLIC - Benny Christo - “Omaga” 25. DENMARK - Fyr og Flamme - “Øve os på hinanden” 26. SLOVENIA - Ana Soklič - “Amen” 27. SWITZERLAND - Gjon’s Tears - “Tout l’Univers” 28. ROMANIA - Roxen - “Amnesia” 29. SERBIA - Huricane - “Loco loco” 30. POLAND - Rafał - “The ride” 31. ISRAEL - Eden Alene - “Set me free” 32. GEORGIA - Tornike Kipiani - “You” 33. PORTUGAL - The Black Mamba - “Love is on my side” 34. SPAIN - Blas Cantó - “Voy a quedarme” 35. NORWAY - Tix - “Fallen Angel” 36. CYPRUS - Elena Tsagrinou - “El Diablo” 37. AUSTRIA - Vincent Bueno - “Amen” 38. NORTH MACEDONIA - Vasil - “Here I stand” 39. GERMANY - Jendrik - “I don’t feel hate”