#hmmm. this feels like a vent post also

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

where is that 'i was raised by a woman who hates me' post. i need it

[hishighnesstheprincess]

vent in tags

[postmail]

i want to draw but its too late out..... i shouldnt get out my art stuff rn

guess i could just write instead

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 14 relisten notes

(sorry this one is a bit late!!- spoilers under cut)

celia:

- says that sam can get intense, and seems to be down playing her feelings for sam (hesitation and lack of enthusiasm when telling alice the date went well)

- directly confronts alice about her relationship with sam, but with the intention of getting out of drama, not causing it. i think this goes to show she started this job with a mission, and isnt interested in anything that may derail it

- seems genuinely taken aback by alice flirting with her

alice:

- deflects when celia confronts her by flirting with her -> im a buzzkill, so i dont think this is a genuine act of affection on alice's part, though it does sound more nervous than usual. i think shes gotten worked up and its resulting in a change in her demeanor

- has a very awkward pause after celia says alice can "do better next time" (referencing her relationship with sam)

- says that when she first started the job, she also wondered about the cases legitimacy

sam:

- picked up on the letters of rejection from the institute, and was trying to talk himself out of drawing connections

- he grew frustrated with gwen, and got particularly agitated by her saying he wouldn't understand (rejection again) and that she doesnt have time for him

- this is the first time we've seen him drop the positive attitude he normally has with coworkers (other than alice), his walls are already coming down

gwen:

- very sullen, but still offers some minimal help to sam

- seems upset with lena (this checks out)

- shes exhibiting self isolation behaviors (not opening up about her problems or trying to get help from coworkers)

lena:

- looking for gwen, and not in a good mood (did gwen not follow up w the external she was supposed to email? was she actively on assignment?)

incident:

- jon chester narrating -> mentions an institute (hmmm i wonder what institute that may be) and is directed at sam. im not of the philosophical house that he's encouraging sam, i actually think hes using the incidents as a means of venting (bad computer pun) and warning sam, since the incidents are all about the doom of being involved with the institute

- incident occurs in 1995, 4 years before the institute burns down

- follow-up by the agency writing the report was post-poned due to the absence of the technician (assuming this is alyssa)

- the shop keeper was wary of a rat being in his shop and had various scratch and bite marks on his body-> interesting because he seems to have no issue with hygiene or contamination in the shop (and rats are commonly fed to pet snakes)

- the shop keeper had a "physical altercation" with the technician, and referred to "his burden" -> i can guarantee that this will be an important detail for future use, whether or not he becomes a reoccurring character, i expect that the "burden" will eventually be expanded on

- the description of the shop itself lists sickly traits: warm, likely has mosquitos, there is a sharp smell from the reptiles, there is old food left in the office space, strong smell from the bad food, ant infestation, squirrel droppings, and there was a hole in the wall

- the report ends in the midst of removing the squirrel, and resumes with the mention of waiting for police on scene

- the report becomes more of a personal log after this interruption, with alyssa speaking directly to her father. this is especially interesting since she says he will believe her, implying he has some paranormal experience

- the room shes locked in is a makeshift cctv room, which i find worth pointing out since it draws an obvious connection to the eye, though i dont think theres a real connection

- the shop keeper seems manic and aggressive, and wants to sell the snakes desperately

- the shop keeper began, well, Transformation (snake)-/-horde

- jane prenthiss

- the snakes seem to want to possess another person and wither their host, which is an interesting change to the themes of tma's corruption, which protected and embraced their host in most cases

- the shop keeper had pinned rejection letters from "an institute" (take a wild guess as to which one) to the wall -> this implies there have been others rejected from the institute even before sam, and that a rejection does not seem to be an indicator of inability to interact w the paranormal

glitches/lies:

- none

extra notes:

- colin hasnt been featured or mentioned by other characters in a while. i feel like this is particularly strange for alice, since we know they were the closest, but im assuming the characters are overlooking him because of their own distractions. but its still concerning

- i think this incident was chosen by chester specifically because of sam's rejection from the institute. ive interpreted it as a warning that continual obsession with the past (and the institute) will lead sam down a bad path. im also taking this as a potential foreshadowing to sam's arc, dealing with the shop keeper's burden/possession as a metaphor for what could happen to sam. the shop keeper eventually gets left by the snakes, allowing them to take up a new host, meaning these powers and horrors can be transmitted or given to others; so sam can just as easily turn into one of the monsters from an incident. he has to choose to stay away from this path

- im hesitant to draw connections between the fears of tma and whatever powers are at work in tmagp, since i believe theyre different (or, at least, theyre manifesting in new ways) but this was a garishly corruption-aligned incident. im unsure exactly what that implies, but im taking it as a hint that the tma fears are not entirely gone as we know them. (or this is a major red herring?)

[bg3sinbin]

Alright so I told myself I wouldn't post anything about it... but I still can't stop thinking about the A!Astarion kisses, Tav/Durge's face during it, and the stupid blow up around it. So here we go

Warnings: This is long and rambly and contains all kinds of spoilers. I am an A!Astarion lover. I will not be responding to discourse on this post. I do not care if you disagree. Make your own vent post.

OKAY so the brunt of the arguments I keep trying to ignore seeing surrounding this are how the expressions are "immersion breaking" for A!A fans, and everyone else clowning on them (sometimes rightfully so tho, ngl) because "the game gives the player expressions all the time! why are u mad now? do u just want ur Tav/Durge to be a blank slate?? lmao idiot" which ??? okay it feels like ur purposefully missing the point.

Yeah, actually sometimes this game gives my Durge some really ooc reactions. And it does, in fact, bother me. That being said, that is to be expected when u take an oc u had for like ten years and try to stick them in a pre-programmed video game. Things are gonna get ooc sometimes.

It also though, is usually smaller moments. Or things that happen Once and then u move on. Conversations where I go "hmmm. he wouldn't say any of these. oh well." or moments where he reacts negatively to terrible things that this evil bastard would normally laugh at. OH. WELL.

Now here's where my frustration actually come in. This game does a really good job, probably a better job than anything else I've played, at letting u play an interesting evil char. Something more than just "I am Rude, Aggressive, and A Dick To Everyone" and thus being punished for it gameplay wise.

I can play The Dark Urge, literal child of the god of murder, a canon necrophiliac, cannibalistic, gore freak that was going to flatten the entire world. There is a whole ass plot line and ending (multiple achievements included!) surrounding doing just that. There's all kinds of nasty interactions/plot options programmed in.

Yet, to the best of my memory, my Durge doesn't look horrified when we choose to slaughter the grove. He doesn't look horrified when we choose to kill the Dame Aylin, or Isobel. He isn't Obviously Distraught when we choose to help Astarion complete the ritual, or when we kill Shadowheart's parents, or become an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal.

To my knowledge, the player character isn't made to look afraid when kissing Dark Justiciar!Shadowheart, nor when they are literally poisoned by kissing Minthara. Sure, u CAN be offended about it in the convo with her after, but its still ur choice as the player.

I mean shit, they even patched in (in that very same patch) a positive, supportive reaction from ur evil partners at the end when u take over the nether brain! (at least for A!Astarion, and Minthara) so now when u do the evil thing that u and ur evil partner have been talking about all game, they don't suddenly change their opinion the second u actually do it.

And I really appreciate that about bg3. I can make evil choices and get interesting outcomes rather than the game just locking me out of all content actually made for that quest. Like ffs u can only get Minthara's romance scene if u slaughter dozens of innocents.

THIS GAME REWARDS U FOR DOING THE BAD THING. And like the evil options do usually have drawbacks and/or are less fleshed out than the good ones, but there are whole ass plots arcs u will never see if u only play good chars. This game makes playing an evil character interesting.

So why is it that I can do all that, and make/have my Durge react (mostly) accordingly, yet the moment the partner I chose acts controlling, now is when my characters feelings are being decided for me?

I can spend the whole game hearing Astarion talk about how spawn are controlled, how all vampires want is power, and I can say to his face "yes! this character wants that! turn me!" and yet somehow... what? the creators think I didn't know?

It just genuinely doesn't make sense to me. Like I can choose, through dialogue, that my Durge is power hungry, and very into the idea of being Astarion's pretty little lap dog. He knew what he was signing up for! And yet he looks terrified when his vampire bf (who has been feeding on him all game) bites his lip?? really?

Idk I just have some really weird feelings on some of the ways they try to Really Emphasize that u made the wrong choice for Astarion specifically, and this just exemplifies that.

Either do the rest of ur characters this service, make all of them (make every choice in the game) a moral lesson for the player to learn, where u hold their hand and say "u didn't listen to what they actually needed :c u could have done the good thing but u didn't :c"

Or let me play my evil bastard. And let me revel in it.

[chibishortdeath]

Woahg, that’s a lot—

Explanations under a cut :3

This is Simon like immediately after defeating Dracula. Just sitting on his knees, hands on his face. He needs a minute, but he’s not gonna get a long one cause the castle is collapsing—

Wow! What a nice happy family :3. I sure hope nothing happens to them! :3 I’ve always liked to arrange the series of events like first Selena and Simon met and got married, then the Dracula stuff went down, so uh yeah uh fan interpretation of their (currently) unnamed kids.

The text here says “where’s momma?”, said by his daughter (who by this point is 2-3 about). Shout out to the artist ability to make yourself really sad—

Just Simon and the kids chillin. He probably was a really good dad, just kinda struggling.

Little quick doodle of the designs of the kids. Agh I need to name both of them (TwT ). It’s hard, I feel like they gotta have nice but cool names, but I just haven’t found any I like yet. Anyway, the one on the left is the older daughter and the one on the right is the younger brother and as of Simon’s quest they are 10 and 7 respectively. The brother would’ve been born the year of CV1 if I have my math right, so when Simon was 22.

Sobbing! It be like that sometimes 💀. This might count as like one part vent art and one part just expression and emotion practice :O.

This one also kinda counts as vent art I guess lol idk. It says “I did everything right”. I was thinking of a specific audio while drawing this and tbh I might actually have to animate something hmmm. Or just still images cause animation is hardddddddd oof. The text isn’t like from the audio or anything either (>< ;).

This one is based on an old insert character here kind of meme :D. The text says “step 1: establish character with a little worry but a lot of determination. Step 2: inflict soul crushing trauma Step 3: inflict soul crushing trauma—“ and that repeats until step 5 lol. The original meme only had two images, but each of these are supposed to be based on specific events so yeah. First one is just pre CV1, then the moment he got hit, then shortly after leaving the castle, then in the graveyard 6 years later, then somewhere in the middle of his quest.

This one is fun!!!!!! It’s an idea for like a double sided keychain :D!!!!! One side has the like CV1/CV4 era Simon swinging on one of those loops and the other is Simon’s Quest!!! And it’s supposed to be the Hanged Man tarot card!!! So cool!!! Idk how making keychains works so if I actually did this I’d probs just make one in shrink plastic tbh. But ough it would be so cool to actually make and sell little fan keychains and stuff (TwT ).

This one I don’t remember if I’ve posted or not but it’s never getting finished 💀💀💀. Gotta love drawing The Character in increasingly dynamic poses and surreal ways.

Ok it’s super late I have to sleep 💀👍

[n3hmof1sh]

I feel bad because made post of saying hatred but idk why I'm just upset for no reason

Is okay!!!! You can't always control your emotions! That's fine! Make sure to eat and drink something, do something calming like maybe drawing, andddd... hmmm.... vent art if you'd like? Also project your hate onto a plushie or something inanimate! It usually helps me!!! You can get through this!!! I'm so proud of you for coming this far!!! You deserve love and happiness and unconditional caring treatment!!!! ^^

[22degreehalo]

Sorry but I still haven't reblogged/posted anything about the whole. 'Nandor and Guillermo are Just Friends!!! Not ALL relationships need to be sexual!!!!! :)' thing because. hmmm. I just don't really. Like. I'm not even sure I summarised the point that was made correctly, you know? Or the words that were said? Communication, as a concept, being what it is.

Because. It, on the surface, sure SOUNDS like the sort of thing that would be said in a typically heteronormative sex-negative traditionally gendered television seriés. Which would make me quite mad!!! And would be a very easy post to make. 'This director said this, which is homophobic, and this is very easy to believe because to be honest most directors kind of are and we're all just used to that background radiation of Media that we never really thought consciously "Oh, this director is probably Homophobic."

But this show is. What We Do In The Shadows (2019).

A show in which the primary romantic relationship are openly pansexual, which comes up very frequently because they have an open relationship and casually speak about their extramarital liaisons and threesomes/orgies. Also, one of the main characters we're talking about is also canonically part of said liaisons, at least three times a week. And, y'know. "Coprophilia? Really?"

It's a show in which our two so intensely-shipped loverbirds are both canonically queer. And one, also canonically, has a crush on the other. While the other is famously reserved about his true feelings towards the former. And has a whole major character arc revolving around his romantic loneliness and search for a partner.

Is it offensive to the nature of friendship to believe that a gay man, and a pansexual man who canonically has sex with his friends, who said gay man has romantic feelings for, could have some sort of 'more than friends' relationship?

A show, might I add, in which a main character has a garden of bushes trimmed to resemble most beloved vulvas? Including that of his so esteemed dear mother?

I am afraid, dear reader, that at this point I am simply a little bit lost. I understand, you see, how to rail against hetero-blinded directors, how to vent wildly about writers who do not understand their own work. I know the script, now. I watched Supernatural.

But these events fail to produce that righteous fury within me. Instead, what I feel is a strange... dissociation? Like... am I reading, right now? Words? In the English language? Are any of us, really?

It is said that good art transports. Well, friends and fellow Nandermo truthers, I find myself abruptly akin to the soldiers of World War One, trenches high above our heads and an enemy wearing our own collective face. What is the point of this war? By what means do these bombs fly?

I'm not angry. I am a 1910s impoverished soldier about to invent existentialism and, friends, I am fuck bad at poetry.

[justyokorebirth5]

i was not supossed to be back but i need to vent for copium coz normies on other forums dont understand.... i went to my shrink for le new sleep meds and he gave me.. the le new sleep med (30mg mianserin) so i come back home

and as im walking back i read online about le sleep med he gave me and hmmm people say it made them gain much weight so i think back to how i told my shrink i struggle with binge eating and just want to be skinny for all i care hmmm anyways i get back home le epic day is coming to an end.... the night has come dun dun dunnn so i take le lyrica 75mg as always and 30mg of le new med and..... it was tuesday i wake up next day... around 3pm.... i feel drowsy i am awake like 2 hours, my mom is already making a druggie out of me coz le sleep med is making me sleep so much and also drowsy as fuck, i cry and argue with her, she says that "she knows more than i think she does" ???i literally dont know what it means, she starts saying that i take my meds the wrong way, she starts comparing how her meds worked on her vs how they work on me (she means fluoxetine that she doesnt take anymore), she also basically says that my insomnia is my fault and easly fixable so i get back to my room and call the lady that makes appointements with my shirnk and ask her whilke basically sobbing coz i cant help it if i can come this tuesday coz new med is... kinda shitty (my next appointment would be in october) and i also ask if i can bring my mom coz she doesnt understand my issues, and the lady says i can blahblablah anyways i get back to sleep and wake up around midnight still drowsy so i just eat and go back to sleep, basically next day was the same except my mom was drunk and also i didnt go see the new alien movie coz i still wasy super drowsy so i spent most of the day on sleeping and while i was awake i was basically bingeing on food... and yesterday i couldnt sleep so i took 300mg of lyrica and ofc didnt take new med coz fuck this shit.. today also was shit coz 1 mom durnk 2 i was drowsy but from lyrica so whatever

so basically i spend most of the weekdays being suicidal, sleeping and bingeing... man i love psychiatry just sooo much i love doctors i just love them.... thank you mr doctor for prowiding 0 information on literally anything as always thank you so much, but hey at least the alien movie is still in cinemas (tho i lost like 5usd on a ticket) can someone hold my hand and say that im not in the wrong for being mad at my shrink?? please guys and yes the other posts on other sites? yes that was me

[katyspersonal]

1, 2, and 3 for Eileen <3

(If I have already asked about her, then I’ll be obscure and say Queen Yharnam actually 😯)

Glad to see that you never learn to not give me a choice, as usual xD

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

1) What would their social media page/activity be like

For Eileen: I remember when I first posted a shitpost of different characters in the internet, Rhett (an old mutual from Twitter) suggested that she'd mostly advertise selling loot she got from the hunted hunters, being all like 'hey guys new merch soon! ✌️' and I've never been able to come up with a funnier idea xD I do think that even shitposting aside, her account would be very hmmm… lacking in personal posts? Just what I mentioned, and also various helpful tips/references/explanations threads - made by herself or reblogged!

For Annalise: I kinda imagine her not having a personal page, but instead let her servant(s) run one, passing her words or posting important announcements about Cainhurst! In her throne room, there is a table with the letter on it, that we can presume was the person writing things from her words directly. So I feel like in the internet, it'd be the same! However… I think if she DID want to get a personal account, she'd be a troll there XD Like Wendy's roasting tweets, but in more sophisticated and passive-aggressive manner. And just like that, people would try to provoke her to roast them and boast about it if they succeed :') She'd lock the account and make it more of a vent one after Healing Church cancels her online though :pensive:

2) What animal they remind me of

For Eileen: A hard one, since it is not easy to separate her from crow theme... However, I think despite the lore weight of that theme, in her case it ACTUALLY fits. Like, you could separate Patches and Rom from a spider, but a crow for Eileen just... it just feels so RIGHT, that there is no need for a loreless alternative I think x)

For Annalise: I feel like lynx! She strikes me as a wild feline but a lioness just doesn't work, plus a lion is already a Byrgenwerth thing,. Lynx, on the other hand, is a beautiful wild cat, a capable hunter but also a very smart cat that won't attack a human first! This cat is also associated with both ginger/red and grey color, that fits HER hair. I also think some informational field around this animal plays role - such as ancient legend/superstition in Greece that a lynx could see through objects (that makes me think of her helmet and her guards').

3) My thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone

For Eileen: I do like her design a lot! All lore outside, simply her design is a really cool take on plague doctor aesthetic! She is impossible to confuse with any other character like that, despite fictional universes having plenty of examples! Giving her large cape resembling feathered garb and sticking with dark blue colors was such a cool move! Really, no matter how often aesthetic is used, you can always add a unique twist to it!

For Annalise: Honestly, her appearance with de-melanized hair and helmet covering her entire face is way more cool and mysterious than her normal appearance seen in portrait and concept art. Her design is super minimalist; that dress lacks detail, but it just works so... good? I think it'd kill the vibe if she was in a really detailed dress or some fancy cape in the game. She creates strong impression with her talking and her story, not with how she looks, so lets say uhhh, 'unassuming' appearance is only better!

________________

Thank you for the ask!

[anulithots]

i hath returned (I'm the one who asked about the difference between friendship and QPR)!

So... again if this is intrusive don't answer, but... I ❤️ listening to ppl ramble about their friends/partners and now I suppose I can add qp crushes to the list, cause I actually self destructed reading your posts about them....

Going the long way to ask if you would mind rambling more cause it's very sweet

/not forced

HELLO HELLO!!!! <3 <3 <3

youuu readd thoseee holy herbbsss /pos. Lkjalkfjaksldfadsf.asdkf.

THANk you for the ask but also... by the end of this I'm going to make it too obvious who I'm having a queer platonic crush on but IT"S OKAY... they only follow me and... umm... I don't know if they reciprocate... it's fine if they don't but also I'm too shy to ask...

aksdfjksa

In the eternal words of Norma Khan from dead end, 'her details make me happy'

(and that honestly made crushes make a whole lot more sense in my head. Queer platonic included. Autistic representation is important so that I can understand how the world works actually /hj

No but actually Extraordinary attorney Woo had the autistic MC describe her crush as 'thinking about them along with whales (her hyperfixation) and I was like... oh.

BECAUSE THAT'S DEFINETLY WHAT'S GOING ON RIGHT NOW. NEVER BEFORE HAS A REAL PHYSICAL PERSON SPENT THIS MUCH TIME IN MY HEADSPACE AND IT'S WONDEROUS ACTUALLY.)

Okay time to RANT heheh.

So this morning in fact, I made attempts at jokes in my strange sense of humor. None of my family laughed or even thought it was funny. The reason I did that? Even though I knew none of them ever liked my sillies? Because I talked to ✨the person✨ and they not only thought they were silly, but went along with the puedo-roleplay absolute ridiculousness? ANother person on this planet shares my sense of humor and i never thought that was possible ever ever ever.

And they are Hilarious and wondeorus and has the most dramatic sense of humor ever and I love it so much so much and

SO if I make a dark/self-depricating joke then others usually respond with discomfort or reassurance. Which never felt liek the right repsonse and I wondered why I kept asking them only for ✨the person✨ to laugh at it and tell me how silly I was in a silly tone and I think my heart burst.

OH and there's this little Prince quote that's like 'once you love someone you'll see them everywhere because everything will remind you of them' AND YES. HOLY HERBS YES. Sees something from a shared hyper fixation? A neurodivergence thing? Somethign from one of thier hyperfixations and it's like 'oh they would love that' and THEY DO and I can send them all sorts of random things and it's completely okay and

OH AND ALSO THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD LIKE MORALS AND THINGS AND WAY OF PRHASING THAT AND.... IDK.. why I find that so wonderous but IT IS.

Like we'd be chatting about a hyperfixation and it'd morph into a discussion on philosophy/society/suches and such and I LOVE THOSE. ANd ✨the person✨ has such nice way of phrasing those? AMazing points and it's a DISSUCSSION. BEFORE I'VE ONLY EVER INFODUMPED OR BEEN QUIET AND LISTENED BUT THIS? THIs? Back and forth disscussion? It's happiness sparkle explosion inducing.

(Also they don't mind if I vent and it's okay and they say things that make me feel a lot better and kadfjasdfjsakdf)

now I want to say a thing but it's... way too hyperspecific... hmmm... Okay I feel like I can be myself with this person. All my weird questions and comments have responses that are halrious and wonderous and it's okay if it fades into silence and it's okay to get distracted and say random things and it's okay to say sappy things kafjkasd

Also also the way their personality is. Just... hmmm how to describe.... like they act in a way that feels so genuine and.. endearing? I suppose that's the right word. Probably the right word. The way they describe situations like thunder or ladybugs or their favorite games in an overdramatic way or the way they'll say what they think and it's the truth and it's their truth. The way they like things to be semi-the same and the stories they tell and the way the write and the ideas they have. The way their mind works and they way they express those ideas and their mannerisms, what they struggle with and thier greatest strenghts is sooo wonderous and it makes me very happy to talk to them and just.... gah I wish I could know them better and be with them more often but alas.

The obligatory keyboard smash: aklfasldkfjasldkjfkdsaj klasjfklasdfj

hmmm perhaps that's enough for now /pos

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!

[grahamcarmen]

Just wanted to tell you that whenever you vent, I feel so heard and seen, like someone was literally listening when I was ranting in my brain.

Also how many asks do you have in your askbox right now ignoring this one.

you and me ranting and venting forever XD ha!

i'm glad my venting is not in vain I have so much weary complaining in terms of why i do not understand. like . always under duress and always in the disclaimer corner , but ???

i'm just more tired than angry...still angry but :/

overall?

6

not much but like the first 2 i probably won't answer because one is a hornet nest i mostly agree with /and the other one was telling me that apparently the fandom said something so. freaking. dumb. a lot of dumb somethings actually, that i just 1000 yard stared into space that I had someone asked me irl if i was ok [the rest is so sweet and made me happy that they like this blog and i wish that they had a nice day/months too, and that part i do wish i'd answered because i do hope that they manage to find their feet on this website and in general. it can be disheartening but try to remember that this is for you to have fun so try to carve a corner for the things that interest you!]...

anyway it still feels like kicking hornets nests and giving input to wild stupidity that i'm not all informed about its current form, i am annoyed but i don't know the fandom like that tbh to just be hearing that it still is just ...hmmm, why are you guys...why... why are you guys the way- and address it like its not a recycled fandom issue or even new stupider evolution of issues that i don't have first hand knowledge of because i really do...not know those people.

i felt like including one of the stupid somethings on the ask about dumb arguments against rc but i don't actually know the intricacies of why they even feel sure enough to say that. like its just deadass wrong. its insultingly wrong. like anon. that was like top worst accusations like the actual mention in the ask is like a few words and i literally went THEY SAID WHAT.

and for that i am so sorry because it is a very sweet and heartfelt ask that made my day and in the grand scheme i could just address that and not the rest, i just like absolutely did not see that part coming and can't keep myself from addressing it but then i also want to know where the audacity came from to properly do so and then im like...there are other fandoms [to myself]...

...rants are a-ok to send [im probably venting at that moment too about something] but like ajdfnaskf this is probably what it will do to me

hornets nests i will avoid kicking because at the end of the day this blog is the corner i carved out for what interests me and i would like to not have too many of those posted when i scroll through it to get my daily rc boost

and it is the sweetest ask for real but also wtf csfandom. WHY.

and in general loop de loop arguments i simply do not know what new thing i could say to get across stupid argument is stupid...we could be making text posts about how they should kiss instead

3- i did write for rc week! it was a small note at the end of the third one which also has something that feels like it needs a proper response but like i feel VERY snippy on that subject so like its probably gonna wait for a bit i'm so sorry but i did, i wasn't planning to but i did

4-acme...i am thinking about just answering it with the meme

i find all the acme members interesting as individuals and what they contribute thematically to the show

vs.

i do not care for ACME

but like again i do feel like putting like more of an effort since i didn't have any thoughts for the first part of the ask but i would like to make 1 for each part and i don't hate any of the members for real i promise and understand how big ACME is to this show and the franchise in general T,T

5- a fic request! :D im looking forward to working on it? it probably will be short but i'm happy one of my ideas got requested

6-might answer it soon...might be a little rambly but it concerns the boy gray and a nerve that i'm ACTUALLY ready to poke at a little...a little

so again not many but i do feel bad for not answering ASAP (due to many things) when i am very happy to receive them

and then spending my energy on making rc stuff first because thats usually what i have energy for

Like I really am happy whenever I see that there are other people who do enjoy rc and this blog enough to send asks [sometimes very passionate in their defense] . So thank you. very much.

^^

[criminal-sen]

Okay, worst part about not having tumblr mobile is DEFINITELY the inability to vent whenever I please. Like yesterday, I was at the laundromat and had this. surreal experience where four washing machines in a row ate my quarters and refused to regurgitate them into the coin return. I've never had a single quarter genuinely truly Eaten at that laundromat? So having it happen at multiple machines made me feel like I was in weird, shitty Bizarro World (more likely, some mechanic 'fixed' them and wound up fucking them up even more? But i didn't reach that conclusion til later)

And then, since I'd just spent the last few minutes cussing and banging on the machines, I turned to the one other lady that was there and told her what had happened. Figured I owed an explanation, and maybe she'd also had it happen so we could like have a shared moment or whatever? But she. didn't say anything back to me??? And instead just shot me this wary, dagger-filled glare??? So at this point, I reach this little tipping point where my mood officially goes into 'FUUUUUUCK' zone and go out to my car and sit there Fuming and um. would very much have liked to post this rant about it right then.

And yes, laundromat scenario wasn't the worst thing in the world but it DID make me realize that tumblr mobile is one of the ways I use to calm myself down after Dumb Shit happens. Most of my vents go into drafts but they're still uh. vents. Maybe I need to carry around a little vent journal or smth idfk. I don't think it would have the same effect, though? Because the ability (whether I use it or not) to Share With Friends is, I think, the main draw.

Hmmm what else. I'm working on some little Nemu arts rn (was gonna finish that pen n ink but it's sooo wonky looking and I just can't seem to make it look decent? And I think the main reason for that is bc I haven't spent nearly enough time drawing her, or any women for that matter). Also have decided on my next Big Art - gonna tackle that Mayu/Szayel art where Szayel is using his weird udon transformation to function as Chair. I want to really go hyper-detailed with it and make it look like a.. statue or some shit. But haven't even started lol

[sevarix-blogs]

For the arospec ask: 2, 10 and 15?

2. how did you first learn about the arospec labels?

on tumblr! i remember finding some posts about it and being like 'hmmm this is me!' and that was that

10. what frustrates you the most about amatonormativity?

i answered this in the previous one but i am always open to venting about how much i hate amatonormativity. i also hate how so few people know what it is or care about how bad it is for everyone (yes even allos). everyone knows heteronormativity is bad but when it comes to amatonormativity ppl get all angry like 'well i can't help but feel romantic attraction!!!!' and it's like. bestie that's not what it's about. allos are hurt by amatonormativity too. the fact that toddlers are teased for having a 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' or the fact that being single is seen as a bad thing... it harms everyone!!! allos are hurt by it too!!! everyone should be against it, not just aros and polyam ppl!!!!!!

15. what are some things you associate with arospec identities? i.e. frogs, arrows, white rings, anything the color green, etc.

the color green lol but that comes from the flag. the white ring too although i don't have one (idk i don't really like wearing rings, sorry alear). OH i guess also ace attorney. yes i know it's called ACE attorney (which is very clearly not aro) BUT i call it aroace attorney and hc everyone as aro lol

[anendoandfriendo]

Hmmm actually y'know what? We need to stop posting vents in discord servers just to realize they'd make fantastic cleaned-up tumblr posts, but also, we see this as a huge problem and we don't know how to express it unfortunately.

(As if we ever knew how to express problems like this in the first place. LMAO.)

---------

We're super duper frustrated because, like, we're trying to NOT be shitty but we feel like...we aren't sure. An awful lot of the ways other systems describe their experiences as "dissociative" seem like they aren't tonus. And like, please hear us out. We're often sitting there readong the post/vent/discussion/etc like "well...maybe...or maybe, MAYBE we've pathologized being more than one person to hell and neck so much that what people describe as dissociative is actually just...being more than one person and removing that stigma the way we did with trans people would maybe give the conversation a different perspective" if that makes sense.

Like, no, Silva not remembering a story that was told to one of the Haileys is not dissociative. He's a different person than all of the Haileys. Shalltear Bloodfallen is not the same person as Anarchy, and if they're not in the same social circles in our headspace, then of course they won't be seeing our coworkers the same way. We've described very similar sentiments before, for those who need or want to know (web archive/backup).

Ninety-nine percent of what we see people calling "dissociative" when described to us in terms of plurality is literally just, like, singlet-centric society being full of shitheads.

But we don't want to discount the personal experiences of other plurals either, so like, ??????

And this is in response to like, EVERYTHING like on discord and on tumblr and offline and this pathologization of the selves we just see everywhere and we don't think it's intentional, but that's the issue with systemic internalized issues, heh.

Then again, we're just some dirty nasty endo, and we're not normal even among endos because we've always known what we are even if we didn't have the words for it, right?

And we were never queer in that we turned it into a fuck-you situation, weve always been queer in the we KNEW it was a fuck-you situation. It was not a "no, I actually left you" situation because we don't even have to reclaim our own narrative, right?

So the word is mum for us, and we're somehow the ableists and exclsuonists to point this out, because even so-called "inclusionists" hate when we point out what we percieve as huge fucking problems.

------

Anyways, we just need a moment of everyone else going to fuck off and think about this because we know of a few friends who certainly have. We still don't believe the wider plural communities at large have. Even if they tell us so.

We notice what discussions gain more traction when we post. At this point y'all sound like liars to us.

[starkittnd93]

a, b, r, m, and v for the ask game!!

A - Okay so for octopath, it’s probably pretty obvious that my favorite pairing is Temehika (considering that I’m… one of the only people who draw for that ship here lolol) but I also really like Partikari a lot :p

For Genshin, my OTP is Xiaoven- they have so much hidden lore together and akjbxjjsbkx istg in the height of my genshin phase I would NOT shut up abt them to my irl friends

B - I didn’t initially consider Partikari as a pairing (and was very surprised when I saw how popular it was) but after interacting with the fandom enough I see the vision. They’re cute :D

R - it’s hard to answer for Octopath 2 since literally ANYONE interacting in a cutscene is very akjhxkjhkdkhjc (especially group interactions— I love the 4 person banters so much) but if I reaaaally had to pick then I’d sayyyyy Castti and Hikari. Idk I imagine they’d be very supportive of each other, and I especially love that banter they have together at the end of Castti’s 3rd chapter (somebody give Hikari a medal for being the best friend omg ;-;)

(Side note: They haven’t interacted in canon but omg Venti and Furina NEED to be best friends— SERIOUSLY!! VENTI!!! INVITE HER ASS TO WINDBLUME RN ISTG—)

M - Hmmm this one’s a hard one since I don’t usually like imagining myself interacting with fictional characters or thinking of the possibility of them being real? (Like I’ve read so many angst fics abt them and imagined scenes of them at their worst— it’d be p awkward if they suddenly became real and went “wanna be frens :D”lmao) but putting that aside I wouldn’t mind being friends with Venti. Idk he just has good vibes and in his teapot dialogue you can actually vent to him (he lends you his shoulder 🥺)

As far as I know, he’s the only one who the traveller vents to..? Could be wrong but if it’s true then akxnjkdhjichhjcgyusgyugdc 🥺

(V is under the cut bc warning for religion talk and also this gets a little bit personal lol)

V - torn between Hikari and Temenos for this one- I’ve already kinda explained why I find Hikari relatable here (tldr; “I wish I was normal so I don’t have to worry abt accidentally hurting my friends” + having let extremely toxic behavior slide because friendship ig) but as someone who was raised in a religious household, Temenos’s conflicting feelings about his faith are. VERY relatable— It’s the acknowledgement that there are so many judgmental people in the community who claim to be kind and accepting, therefore leading to a lack of trust in those who should be your “neighbors”, yet ultimately still finding it hard to let go because deep down a part of you still believes, it’s just :,D maybe I’ll make a separate post abt this actually bc I don’t talk abt Temenos enough here—