#hobsband

[gabessquishytum]

Some magician (offended at Hob for some reason, smug that he’s definitely about to cast a curse nearly impossible to break): I can’t kill you, fine, so instead I curse you to feel ravenous, unquenchable lust for the rest of your immortal days, unless you somehow can receive the seed of an Endless!

Hob (the Endless family bicycle for years now, has them all on speed dial and usually down to fuck him at any given opportunity, and though the curse only needs one Endless to break it, all 7 of them will probably insist on having a turn with him in order to make extra certain that he’s thoroughly cured (and if they don’t, he might)): …oh no, the horror…

AKSKDJFHS im chuckling. I'm chuckling so hard.

Hob texts the groupchat (it's called "Hobsband" of course) and he's trying to be sooo pathetic and whimpery and sad about it. He's like "hey everyone 🥺🥺 hope you're all having a good day I love you all 🥺🥺 btw I just got cursed and now I'm really horny but don't worry about me, I'm sure I'll be okay 🥺🥺" and immediately every single one of his lovers appears in his living room, all of them panicking, even Death despite her incredibly busy schedule. Hob finds himself being picked up by Destruction and carried to the bedroom which the rest of his beloved Endless argue about who gets to take a turn with him first.

About a week later when Hob emerges from his flat, battered and bruised but absolutely on top of the world. He immediately tracks down the wizard (who is obviously wondering how the FUCK Hob has managed to completely cure himself of the curse within days) and sweetly asks if he could have the curse again, please? Just one more time? It was so much fun 🥺🥺🥺

[ihatecoconut]

Canpes

Also on AO3!

kind of based on @softest-punk hobsbandverse

The only information Hob gets from Destiny is that whoever is accompanying him to the event will be waiting in the passenger seat of his car. There’s a certain petulant tone to Destiny’s voice that suggests it is not going to be him.

Delirium is waiting when he climbs in the driver’s side, dressed appropriately in a pretty pink dress and with the colours in her hair faded to a more respectable level – i.e., they won’t burn out anyone’s retinas. She beams when she sees him.

“Hi Hob!”

He laughs, “Hey Del, you were destined to accompany me?”

She leans in, close, like she’s imparting a secret. “There was a fight.” She tells him. “’twas funny, everyone was stood in their galleries and yelling at the other sigils.”

That does sound funny, actually, Hob can imagine them all getting increasingly irate at each other over something as simple as who gets to come with him to an admittedly boring faculty party.

She giggles suddenly and leans in even closer, pressing their noses together. “Even Death and Destiny.”

“And you?”

She scrunches her nose up. “I would have if I had had an opp… opp…”

“Opportunity?”

“Yes! Opportunity. Destiny kept speaking when I wanted to.”

Hob laughs again. “Didn’t he already know it was going to be you?”

“He wanted to change it.” She settles back in her seat and lets him start the car. “He only said it was me when he lost.”

It warms something in him to know that they were all so determined to be with him, even to the point of trying to change the Book.

“Good to know.”

 They pull into the carpark and Hob is not surprised to see that there is already a reasonable number of cars present. The event did technically start almost half an hour ago.

“Alright.” He turns the engine off and turns to face Delirium. “You ready to schmooze?”

Her face screws up. “Schmooze.”

“Yeah. Don’t repeat that in front of anyone, yeah?”

She nods, incredibly serious, and Hob just has enough time to think that he might want to rephrase that to explain that while it was a joke, he also doesn’t want her referring to it as schmoozing in front of anyone, when her face breaks out in a brilliant and mischievous smile.

He grins back, holds up a fist. “Let’s do this?”

Del hits it with her own. “Do this.”

The Dean sweeps over as soon as the two of them enter, taking in Delirium – undeniably a child – with not a small amount of trepidation.

“Rob!” She says, somehow managing to incorporate both an exclamation mark and an ellipsis into her voice. “Who is this?”

He wraps an arm around Delirium’s shoulders. “Uh, this is Del, my partners’ sibling.”

“They’re busy.” Del offers, polite and reasonable. Hob wonders who gave her instructions on how to act.

The Dean’s face clears slightly, not completely, because Hob loves to keep people guessing on how many partners he actually has, and this does not at all clear anything up for her. ‘They’ could be one, or two, or in this case actually seven, but she doesn’t know that. “Oh, well it was so nice of you to join us instead.”

Del nods, seriously. “We could not let him face you alone.”

Hob manages to restrain the shocked laugh down to a snort. That is almost certainly something he said to Dream, about not wanting to face the faculty alone when everyone else would be with their partners. “She means because no one else will be.”

“Oh!” The Dean laughs as well. “I’ll introduce you to my husband at some point,” she waves a hand vaguely across the room, “unfortunately he has been drawn into a different conversation.”

“Ah, well, there’s no rush, right? We’ve got all evening.”

Del nods again, serious. “And if that falls through there is always the rest of your lives.”

The Dean cups a hand over her mouth, apparently already getting used to Del’s particular chain of thought. “Very true. It was nice to meet you.”

“You also.”

She wanders off again, probably to greet someone else, leaving the two of them hovering by the doorway and looking out across the room. Hob wonders if Delirium is going to whisper the weird hallucinations and beliefs of the people present, the same way Dream tells him their night time fantasies and Desire lets him know their waking ones.

Instead, she tugs on his arm excitedly. “Look, Hob, canapes!”

He lets her pull him over to the ‘buffet’ an admittedly poor selection of tiny foods, and watches her try one of each, accepting every time she pushes one, she particularly likes on him. It’s a new way to experience these sorts of events and he thinks that maybe that’s the point, maybe that’s why the Book decided she would be the one to accompany him.

Del bops him on the nose, pulling him out of his musings. “Thinking?”

“Yup. ‘bout you.”

She beams at him and holds up a tiny eclair. He opens his mouth and lets her stick it in, chewing obediently when she pulls her fingers back and stares expectantly.

“’s good.”

“Death says ones from France are better.”

“We’ll have to go to France sometime then.” Hob replies without really thinking about it.

The hopeful way she looks up at him in response almost breaks his heart. “Really?”

“Of course.”

He thinks she might be about to say something else, but his office neighbour appears beside them before she can.

“Rob! And who might this be?”

Del wipes her hand on her dress before offering it to Ally and Hob winces internally. Money he might have, but the dress she (or someone else) has conjured up looks incredibly expensive.

“I am Del.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Del, I’m Ally.” Ally shoots him an amused look out the corner of her eye.

“Yes,” Del says very seriously, “of medieval literature.”

The amused look becomes impressed, “Yup, you heard about me?”

Hob is very certain that he doesn’t talk about work when he hangs out with Del, which means that she must have gained this information from one of her siblings, and she’d confirmed earlier that they had literally argued over who got to accompany him, but this means that they talk about him when he’s not there. It settles something in his chest that worries sometimes they are all just humouring him.

“Lots.” Del agrees. “Hob is very fond of you.”

She softens visibly, “Well, I’m quite fond of him also.”

At the other end of the table, a waiter lays down a tray of new things and, rather than responding, Del lights up excitedly and scurries off to try one, leaving Hob to face Ally.

“Thought you were bringing one of the undefined number of partners. That’s a child.”

“I know.” Hob replies, because he does. And, sure, Del might technically be eons older than him, but she has the mind of a child – Destiny had described her as ‘not quite broken, almost shattered’ once. “She’s their sibling.”

“Which one’s?”

“Uh, all of them?”

Ally visibly processes this information. “I’m sorry.” She says in a voice that is anything but. “The undefined number of mysterious partners are… all siblings?”

“I think they have a shared calendar.”

She looks like she wants to say more in response to that, but Del reappears with two of the new canapes and holds one out to each of them. Whatever bone Ally has to pick with this weird arrangement of his apparently has nothing to do with Del because her face softens immediately, and she takes the offered food. Hob does as well.

“There are people over there who want to talk to you,” Del adds, helpfully, “I heard them talking.”

Hob follows her gaze to some more members of the faculty. “Alright, might wanna grab some more snacks, I don’t know how long this is gonna take.”

She nods and bounces off down the table, grabbing a paper plate because they might be in a fancy establishment, but G-d forbid anyone has to do any washing up.

Ally presses a hand to his arm, concern gently written in her eyes. “Rob, I’m not gonna tell you what to do with your life, but… are you sure about this?”

He looks down to where Delirium is weighing up how many of something to put on the plate and can almost imagine Dream peering over her shoulder, nose scrunched up in distaste, Death at his side laughing, the twins whispering about the people present, Destiny watching over them and Destruction watching Hob himself. He blinks and the images vanish.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sure about this.”

[virgo-dream]

He had never called Hob that before; it had always been Mr. Gadling, an overly formal title bestowed upon him by an overly formal man. Hob had the sudden thought that he would do anything to hear Morpheus say it again, to hear the way his lips and tongue curled around the single syllable of his nickname, as intimate as a finger trailed down the length of his body and just as able to elicit a reaction. — Golden Heart, chapter 2 by @littledreamling

wanted to make a proper post for me and Kai’s new icons, and also remind you all to read this beautiful fic by my beloved hobsband 💖

[1313-mocking-bird-lane]

I was scrolling through my draft posts to pad my queue this morning and I saw the Tom Holland Umbrella video post, which, is amazing in itself and I love it.

And a fic idea popped into my brain and wouldn't leave me alone. The idea is kinda standalone but it also definitely might work in @softest-punk 's Hobsbands 'verse (which I LOVE).

Karaoke night or something like it at the White Horse and either Hob decides to open with this number because he can, or Desire comes to the inn to find out more about his sibling's favourite human and decides to do this...the crowd goes wild either way and Karaoke night at the White Horse is always a packed house after that.

[wordsinhaled]

some endless hands :') plus a bonus hob hand, of course, couldn't forget hobsband of the endless <3

[fishfingersandscarves]

what gave you the insp for despair/hob? the art is really cute i just never even imagined that pairing! (keep in mind i havent read all the comics but i did see the show) (<- said with all the admiration in the world btw <3)

it partially came from @softest-punk 's hobsband of the endless stuff and partway came from me just fixating on Soft Round Small Wife

[61below]

Guys omfg I need to point this out bc I’m going feral about ittttt. Watch Hob’s hands. The way he flicks that finger! Dream smiles and Hob is just, like, clinging to himself to keep from leaping over that table to tacklehug the guy. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(Gif credit to @beaulesbian)

[nako-doodles]

😭

i said this before but jins only on insta to be a foodie, network, and flaunt his hobsband(s) what a MAN

[ihatecoconut]

Destiny doesn’t always leave him notes about the day ahead – Hob is pretty sure even doing just that is pushing the limits of his function ��� but when he does, the small scraps of paper all go into one box that sits just under his bed. No one else knows it’s there (well, Destiny probably does, but he hasn’t said anything about it), and he’s pretty sure one of the others is going to find it one day and make fun of him, but that’s a problem for future-Hob. Current-Hob is going to follow the advice on the paper and take the train to work instead of driving.

A quick glance at his alarm clock reveals that Destiny re-set it to five minutes early when he visited, giving Hob the time he needs to get to the station. He presses a kiss to the paper and reads the second line; it warns him that Delirium will be joining him for lunch.

[gabessquishytum]

No thoughts just Hob realizing early in their relationship that Dream thinks he is too much for people and is always holding himself back so he doesn’t scare Hob off.

(And let’s be real, Hob knows how to appreciate the good things in life, including being spoiled by the King of Dreams. He does not want Dream holding back—he wants the entire royal consort experience.)

Just Hob playing up a simple cold until Dream is fretting and feeding him soup and tucking ten blankets around him.

Just Hob (who could easily punch out any drunk fool) letting some drunk fool flirt more and more aggressively until Dream gets possessive and storms over to play protective boyfriend.

Just Hob wrapping himself around Dream and asking to be fucked please and whispering in his ear how no one else fucks him so well.

Just Hob playing the damsel in distress just a little even though he is a full on former mercenary—because then Dream can save him and Hob can once again use it to show Dream how much he appreciates his care and concern. Also, thank-you-for-saving-me blowjobs.

(I’m picturing Hob getting kidnapped for immortality reasons and even though he could totally save himself, he prays for Dream, fixes his hair and waits, ready to swoon into Dream’s arms.)

Just Hob being slightly, lightly manipulative to show Dream how happy his care makes him and how much he wants it all.

Just Dream who realizing he has a partner who revels in Grand Gestures and mountain ranges in the shape of their face formed in the Dreaming.

Just Dream realizing that caring for Hob is actually one of life’s greatest pleasures. And he is allowed to have it.

…And just Hob being ready to care for him back with flowers and home cooked meals and homemade scarves in winter, ready to be the ultimate Hobsband he was always meant to be.

Absolutely fucking adore this anon!!!!! <333

Hob being like well if Dream is "too much" then Hob is going to be even more too much in his own ways! He's all about massive romantic gestures, and medium sized romantic gestures, and hell. Even the tiny ones. He knows that Dream can lace up his boots with a single thought, but Hob would much rather kneel down and do it for him. He can't carve Dream’s face into a mountain, but he can knit him a pair of black fingerless gloves and make him tea just the way he likes it. And most of all? He's so fucking appreciative of everything that Dream does for him in return.

Dream just loves the fact that Hob seems to want all the fireworks and violin concertos. He's been so focused on holding himself back, but gradually as he realises that Hob... wants to be spoiled and adored? He wants all of Dream’s attention? The thing is, Hob has been lonely for a long time, and he's also spent most of his life giving rather than receiving. He's excited to find out what crazy things Dream will go for him! Maybe he's a little selfish but he's really looking forward to being spoiled. If he has to give Dream a little nudge and act like a helpless little puppy sometimes? Well, honestly, he enjoys that too. When he swoons, he knows that Dream will always catch him.

[gabessquishytum]

Do you by chance know a fic about Dream trying to bond with Hob's cat?

Or just fic's where Hob has a cat?

Also happy new year!

Great question! One or two come to mind:

I found this (it's vibrating) by anonymous

You own only me by mimisempai (Dream is also a cat in this one)

Dreams for a Dozen Cats by @seiya-starsniper

Adopted by @softest-punk which is part of the Hobsband 'verse and also features Death!

That's all I can think of right now. But feel free to add any suggestions in the comments!

[gabessquishytum]

Different ask, this time about courtesan!Hob and his patron Destiny of the Endless, who's the epitome of silver fox. Hes pushing 50 with steel grey hair and neat beards and sleek suits, heir of the family's business empire, with just the classiest, prettiest arm candy around. Hes HOT. Like Hob legitimately gets the hots for him. But also thinking about Hob meeting and falling in lust with every single member of the Endless family. The youngest, Delirium, is his own age, even. Hes technically Destiny's, but the family passes him around like a beloved pet slash stress ball, each of them so sexually appealing in their own way. From Desire's love for fun, hard, rough sex; Dream's LIFE CHANGING pussy, the absolute sweet, romantic INDULGENCE involved with Despair; and the fun, laughter studded sex plays with Delirium. Destiny, Death and Destruction are all absolute MAGNIFICENT doms in different ways btw. Hob is absolutely destroyed for every other future client. How fortunate that the Endless can keep him in furs and sweets for as long as he can conceivably imagine, and he wont need to worry his pretty little head for the rest of his delightful, hedonistic life

YES. HOBSBAND/ENDLESS BICYCLE HOB. Very very happy about this.

Hob lives his delightful life in the Endless mansion with Destiny, but there's a special calendar to which all the siblings have access to. They can "book" a day, or an evening, or a weekend with Hob, and of course there are times where Hob is just invited to hang out with them as a family. You can bet that there a squabbles and arguments over him, but Destiny's word is final. He was the one who found the perfect pet for the family, after all.

Hob is just so happy. Desire takes him to exclusive parties and fashion events, and gives him the most exquisite gifts (usually lingerie). Hob often comes home from outings with Desire with his head spinning, and its always so lovely to spend the day with Despair afterwards. She is so good to him. They have amazing sex in the bath and he spends hours worshipping between her legs. He's almost sad when Destiny comes knocking on the door to take him for dinner, but the sadness doesn't last. He gets to sit on Destiny's lap and be fed the tastiest morsels of food, and afterwards he knows that he'll kneel on the carpet and warm his patron's gorgeous cock with his mouth.

Death works so hard, but when she comes to take a turn with Hob she always makes it last as long as she can... literally. Hob gets edged all day long while he serves his beloved mistress. Sometimes he's even allowed to cum for her! If not, Death makes sure to pass him off to Delirium so she can help him let off steam. She likes to bring him presents, too. Fun sex toys, or whimsical art pieces. She spoils him really, but that's what she likes to do. He loves making her happy.

Destruction isn't around as much as he'd like - he has art shows all over the world. But when he can, he takes Hob out to bars and clubs to let him dance. Usually with a vibrator stuffed inside him. He likes to watch Hob move, says that it inspires his art. And he also likes to fuck him in dark corners, crowded into the wall where no one will see.

Then there's Dream. He more or less lives at the mansion too, and everyone jokes that he's Hob’s favourite. It's only because everytime someone goes looking for Hob during his free time, he's inevitably found with his mouth on Dream’s pussy. He's like an addict, bless him. And Dream only encourages him by walking around in skirts that barely cover his arse. He's a good boy and always stops when he has other duties to perform, but Hob certainly has a preference for Dream’s pretty little cunt.

He's a spoiled pet, really. And there are all sorts of whispers about the Endless family and their habit of sharing. But who could blame them? He's perfect for everyone. And he does such a good job of uniting the family. He really is a little blessing!

[wordsinhaled]

A and B for the ask game!!

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

ok, lemme start rattling 'em off, and i will probably leave things out by accident... good omens— ineffable husbands/spouses/partners/etc etc etc in all their wonderful queer glory. and the crowley/aziraphale & muriel friendship dynamic is lovely. i hope we get to see more of it in s3 <3 doctor who— tenrose, thasmin, doctor/master [also, as an aside, the whittaker!master fanart is glorious and has me in a chokehold if i'm honest. and i recently re-found "the naming of things," aka The Thoschei Fic of All Time; must read if you have not yet read!], thirteen/rose. HONESTLY I MISS DAN & KARVANISTA, not gonna lie. i am a sucker for jack/doctor (and jack & the doctor's entire dynamic, platonic, romantic, whatever, everything they have going on) forever. i haven't seen much of the classic doctors (mostly bits of the fifth doctor), but i thought tegan & ace's cameos in nuwho were fab as well!

the sandman— dreamling of course! dream & matthew (and dream & matthew & jessamy) friendship is my favorite OF COURSE. and i love when hob & matthew are buddies also. also, gaulcienne! dream & johanna and hob & johanna (honestly just... johanna... or like... the grittier potential of johanna, at least, definitely). dream and lucien/ne. as far as dream and his siblings go, dream & death and dream & delirium are my faaaves <3

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. probably hob/destruction? honestly everything @softest-punk does with hobsband of the endless in general <3

[wordsinhaled]

Give you a character for the character breakdown: Hob Gadling?

thank you for the ask, anon! <3

hob!!! hob my beloved

How I feel about this character i love him <333 he is wonderful and fascinating

All the people I ship romantically with this character dream! also destruction! and also daniel dream but in a different way from morpheus dream. and honestly @softest-punk converted me to hobsband of the endless and i want him to have lovely dynamics with each of the siblings (not necessarily romantic for all, though)

My non-romantic OTP for this character hob & dream's ravens tbh

My unpopular opinion about this character it's not unpopular (anymore) per se but i feel like it used to be a bit controversial at the beginning of fandom to talk about hob's imperfections and flaws, which i think are an absolutely INTEGRAL part of who he is (and his conception of himself) and cannot be avoided or ignored if one is to really Get him as a character

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon will anything beat hob literally rushing and punching a centaur out of grief??? i will say i haven't finished all the comics, but i've seen snippets (i try to avoid spoilers) i won't be upset if it doesn't happen, but would love for hob in sandman tv to wake up from a dream in bed with a mass-presenting person also, i wish we had gotten the scenes that were written and not filmed of hob teaching class!

[virgo-dream]

lock screen vs home screen 📱✨

I was tagged by @aquilathefighter! thank you! 💖

I feel like these were pretty predictable lol. Of course it’s a Morpheus Lock Screen x Home Screen type deal. And yes I do not read my texts or emails 🫰

tagging: my hobsband @littledreamling, @mathomhouse-e, @quillingwords, @staroftheendless, @wintersmitth and @landwriter ✨