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titilationexpress · 3 years

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Sweet Dreams are Made of Screams Ch.3

You awoke with a start, gasping as you found yourself back in your bed, heart racing and sweat beading down your forehead, yet you were clearly where you had last been when you fell asleep.

Rising from your mattress, you looked down at yourself, seeing that you were back to your human self. Or...were you your human self in that...dream?

You couldn’t really remember, suddenly feeling quite tense. “God, what WAS that?” you said aloud, rubbing your temple.

You checked your phone and saw yet more requests for Starscream popping into your messages. You flopped back on the bed with a groan. It seemed that you wouldn’t be getting away from him, whether it be your dreams OR wide awake!

Yet what you had experienced…

Throughout the day, you found yourself unable to focus on anything. Whether it be at school/college/work or in your free time, the Decepticon would not leave your brain. That wasn’t really new, the constant requests for him made his presence in your mind a regular, yet this was different. You didn’t know how to explain it, but Starscream seemed to make his presence known. As in, ridiculous as it sounds, like he’s always over your shoulder, watching you.

A fictional character was somehow transcending reality and subtly manipulating you into doing his bidding. Or was it yours, as, despite the feeling of eyes on the back of your head, you have been wanting to write about him for some time.

Yet unlike before, something had changed. True, that dream you had left you rather flustered (not to mention quite wet that morning), but also...inspired? Was that the word? Well, whatever it was, it eventually managed to get you going on churning out more reader insert entries. You went through your requests, going down the list of bots and scenarios when finally, one snags your attention.

Vampire!Starscream X Reader.

Well, that was quite the challenge, wasn’t it?

Sure, you had experimented with that in the past, yet once again, Starscream seemed to haunt you everywhere you went. Just what was it that...that made him so difficult for you? Why couldn’t you just write something?!

It was then though that your mind went back to the dream and your...intimate encounter with your favorite version of the character. His words regarding your doubts, your insecurities regarding your ability to write for him….how all of it was true. And how, to overcome it, you had to cast aside your inhibitions.

You just had to “do”.

It was an hour later or so that you were still at your computer/laptop, trying to figure out where to go from here. You had the scenario in mind, now to build a plot off of it. So far, all you had was that it was in G1 (or at least some version of it at least. Hey, headcanons and AUs were serious business, you had learned), and that you somehow became Starscream’s vampire bride in the end. It was kinda stupid, but hey, G1 was known for equally crazy shit.

The only problem was where to start.

True, you knew what the end result would be, but how to get there was the question. Better yet, how the hell do robots turn into vampires?! Ugh! You couldn’t do this! You just couldn’t! You were doomed for failure! You slapped your hand against your head, trying to keep yourself from getting too frazzled. But how were you going to do this?

It was then that you heard something. Or rather, thought something.

‘Shockwave this, Shockwave that. All I ever hear about is how great Shockwave is!’

You knew that quote! Starscream’s brigade! It grew to be one of your favorites of G1! But what did that have to do with…wait a minute. Shockwave...Shockwave was left on Cybertron but was also somewhat of a scientist. And there had been references to other planets and aliens in the series (hell, Season 3 had barely anything to do with Earth at that point), and there were such things as Petro Rabbits, so why couldn’t Shockwave have a collection of live specimens to study?

And you, the Reader, we’re going to be his assistant.

From there, more and more came to you, you typing like mad as you clicked and clacked the keyboard, everything just pouring out of you at once! You were doing this, you realized. Holy shit, you were doing this! On and on you wrote, getting the outline and first part done. Then came the second, third, and so on.

And when you finally gained the courage to post them (you had not submitted them quite yet, having held back), you saw that the reception was...good.

It was good.

Sure, the first part only had a few likes so far, but it seemed to be ok. Still, you didn’t get your hopes up too high. But it wasn’t long after that you found yourself aboard the abandoned ship again, only this time, there was no one in the cell. You knew well who should’ve been in there.

“S-Starscream?” You stammered, voice echoing off the walls. It was then that you felt a servo trail it’s way up your spine, causing you to nearly leap out of your skin. Turning, you saw the amused, chortling form of your favorite Starscream, clearly pleased with himself in having given you a fright. “Don’t do that to me!” you held your chest, feeling your heart beating.

“Welcome back.” The Seeker greeted. “It looks like we’re in for another eventful night.”

Your eyes widened. “We are?” You remembered last time well. How bizarre the whole situation was...but also how good it felt. How good he felt.

“Yes, you’ve been aching for another night with me, haven’t you?” He whispered in your ear, sending a chill down your back. “Don’t bother denying it. I can see into your thoughts, remember?” His eyes then began to glow red. “And I also know what you’ve written about me recently.”

“Oh, that.” Your cheeks grew red. “Yeah, well...it was my first time writing for you, and...well, I’ve never done anything with vampires before, so…” it was then that you noticed Starscream’s eyes seeming more...red than you remembered. And...and since when did he have fangs?! “The hell?!”

Starscream only chuckled. “Don’t you remember? This was from what you had written but a short time ago.”

Oh, right. “It’s…kinda stupid though, the story I mean,” you shifted nervously. “I mean, it’s not really meant to be taken seriously.”

“But,” Starscream approached you, holding your chin gently. “You DID finally face your fears, right?” You nodded. “But yet, you’re still unsure.” Sighing, you nodded. “Well,” his optics glimmered. “We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?”

You stiffened, knowing where this was going. The environment around you changed to that of the Nemesis’ brig, you in a cell with Starscream. The same position the Reader was in near the end of the story. You knew well what was about to happen, Starscream slowly backing you up against the wall. And yet not once did you tell him to back off. True, your heart was racing, yet it wasn’t entirely out of fear. No, you feared what would come next.

“Relax, my dear.” Starscream assured you. “I’ll be gentle.” He opened his mouth, revealing pronounced canines on his upper set of dentas.

You released a heavy sigh and let it happen. The Seeker bit down on your neck and into your flesh. There was slight pain, yes, yet you could stop this anytime you wanted. You let it continue. The sting from his fangs entering you lasted only a few seconds though, as there was a rushing warmth that overtook you.

“Ah, found your courage, have you?” Starscream questioned. “Well then,” he lowered his hand to your lower regions, lightly stroking it. “Shall we take things one step further?”

Honestly, you didn’t see why not.

That night, you two had another session, the Decepticon exploring and driving you crazy with his methods, you, in turn, responding in kind. Turns out a tongue savoring his spike was one of the things you did that could make him, fittingly enough, scream. And then, you woke up, a kiss bringing out of the dream once again. More requests, and yet...and yet, this time, you felt somewhat more...confident.

You decided to try out another scenario, taking your time with this one, yet not allowing anxiety to have as much of a hold over you. And, to your surprise, this Starscream x Reader fic got good reception too! True, you still wrote for all the other Autobots and Decepticons, yet the Seeker, whatever incarnation he was, proved to be some of your most popular.

Which, in turn, led to you getting more and more visits from him.

It wasn’t each night, yet sometimes, especially when you were either in the midst of writing one, or were struggling to come up with a scenario, he would appear. Luring you into the darkness to join him, allowing yourself to cast away the chains that once held you back.

And thus, you found yourself here again. The same ship, and same voice calling you. It seemed he wished to repeat how you two had met the first time.

“I know, I know...you belo-o-ng to so-omebody ne-e-w,” you heard his voice echoing all around, you recognized the song. It was an older one, one that your mother liked, remembering it from your grandmother’s vinyl collection. What was it called? Patience and Prudence’s…

“But toni-i-ght, you belong, to me…”

Ah, yes. How...oddly fitting. You followed the Seeker’s surprisingly bearable singing, listening and taking note of which direction it was coming from. What would it be tonight, you wondered. A dive into a new situation for the Reader, aka yourself, or something new? Sometimes Screamer himself came up with ideas, of which you would do, if not just to allow him to let you finish. Though you did get your revenge mostly, there were times where you were just wanting some smooth pillow talk. Starscream frankly made you exhausted. In a good way? Honestly, even now, you weren’t sure.

And yet, here you were, about to indulge him yet again.

“My honey I know, I know,” the source of the voice was close. “With the da-a-wn, that yo-o-u, will be go-o-ne,” you saw the cell, yet Starscream wasn’t confined. You couldn’t confine him now, even if you wanted to. “But tonight…” and, if you had to be honest, “You belong,” you didn’t want to. “To me.”

#starscream x reader #starscream #prime #g1 #animated #transformers animated #transformers #smut #first lemon

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revelaare · 4 years

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Shit said in the Crimson Discord & VC, taken out of context part 2, (the sequel)

Big NSFW warning, probably

his meat slid off and then slid right back on

[PRONOUN] can punch me in my uterus and make a hammock out of my ovaries

it’s one of the worst fucking things i’ve ever heard, and i’ve heard someone literally shit their pants

they tagged me and my ass clenched

this man just said “I want to eat ur ass and then kiss you” ok buddy

a man with a plan

my grandpa is texting his hoes from his flip phone

god my lawyer was a hit but idk if she will be the chosen one or not

hello give me your toenails

i'll touch you in a non-weird way

he was in that movie with the people, he was the human.

i want her to brush my hair

If we have dick glasses they have to be of the highest quality for the best experience

i don't wanna watch that white nonsense

i would throat him like a fine wine

these millenials can't live without ac? back in my day we lived on the sun

yall better put those goats on a wheel, tell them to start running

he looks like a bitch

yes or no, u wud punch the light bulb out of thomas edisons wrinkly pruned hand and asked him if he believed in god

still has skin and a working body

i needed to wait until my voice changes

you thought i was snacking on joe biden’s savory meat stick

barack guckin oglizzy, oguckma, barack osugma, Joe choden, OglchnnngggHHHYynnUUUnnghhma

why did i have a dream that i was taking the lid off my car

false gods require wine, real gods require coochiefice

fettucine wet ass pussy

that was all you sent me. the picture of a raccoon and then nothing

it isn’t hate, it is ‘continuously let down by’.

i never went to school who science

i’m gunna go peer pressure my mum into a shot

thank you for furthering my career at hot topic

i will suck the ingrown hair off of him

it has huge jackman in it

i chomped on this eggshell, got my calcium in for the day

i will take you to touch the mango

i want to see all the big things

[PRONOUN] has collar bones so deep you could hook a clothing hanger into it

no asscheeks in fucking family chat you animals

he will eat you alive and suck out your intestines like its a spaghetti noodle

[NAMES]’s Tiggle Biddie’s

dropped acid, cried the whole night.

my stomach is hooping and hollering, i’m about to eat some sleep

you want my throatsac ??

please dont know me as the toenail eater

you have to keep the skin on one side while you eat the other, thats basic mango physics

i mean he is some good sasuage

calm down dick Hannibal

respectfully, what the fuck is this

tbf i only eat my steaks where they need tampons

you committed acts of culinary terrorism

does your refrigerator whimper and cower in the corner when you approach it. that's your fridge trying to use echo location to locate a safe space

thundercuck

i almost met Jesus, I almost got an autograph. Almost got a greatest hits signed album.

respectfully, are you smoking fucking crack?

my left testicle could play better than you

i’ll eat him with ketchup

son of a biscuit eating bulldog!

now it’s back to me sucking, all is right in the world.

holy fuck weasels.

holy fuck, weasels!

why does the bad guy look like the Statue of Liberty?

this is a man that sometimes willingly dresses like a lumberjack

and me, being an emotional cripple, must make jokes about this.

hey my name is [NAME] i'm **definitely** who i say i am

[NAME OR PRONOUN] offered a back massage by calling it the “tickle thing”

i love a man who puts his parents in a nursing home.

my brain is going to take a hot shower

wait have u seen steve harvey's coochie

if it were me i would simply not be pregnant

look im not about to be out here saying i love [NAME OR PRONOUN] feet, but i am about to be out here saying that their feet are some of the nicest feet i've seen in a long time

i named my cloyster renesmee

[NAME] was texting me from the bathtub

you’re pregnant? That’s unfortunate.

do I say dumb shit? Perhaps. Do I take ownership? Perhaps.

i pay for things in blissful ignorance

i am an emotional vagrant

i am an emotional fragrance

to make a long motherfucking story short...

this enchilada tastes like asshole and sadness

you are not an ugly bitch, you’re just a bitch

that’s not a nut shot, buddy.

i’m sad because i sucked the meat off of this pumpkin spice latte

i want to make a blanket out of his eyebrows

what are you disgracing my Christian eyes for?

he be looking at that dick like why does it go so much to the left?

I want her to record an audio book for me so I can fall asleep listening to her voice.

Can I lick you like an ice cream cone? Asking for science.

like you're out to lunch with your bromie and you're eating some rubens or something and you wistfully look over the rim of your sunglasses and just: You ever buss 2 fast

my accent is flaccid

timotay chalamaymay’s sweet ass

on the bright side mcallister’s gave me 3 pickle spears. Almost enough to make a whole pickle.

you think they came from the same mommy pickle?

HIS DOODLE IS OUT

i thot that meant [NAME] wanted to...doodle his noodle

i don’t use commas, i don't respect u enough, fuck ur reading comprehension.

does australia have seasons

i want someone to embalm my body with mcdonalds sprite

his hermione grangina

purrrr my last email

its lore locked beneath 30 layers. u can only understand it if uve had a near death experience

LET'S GET FUCKY

i wanna have the heart of a stoner

his man titties look like little tattooed pillows

SWIGGITY SWOOTY COMIN FOR THAT BOOTY

there were no cheeks to shake. nothing to clap. no noise to be had from her literal slices of wonderbread

u ever just fuck around and ur tits fart

put a lil mint leaf on it for authenticity

alright brother god bless may u be fertile

i feel like im being advocated for something i shouldnt be advocating for

and i am adam with my fat pendulous balls lol

i’m making whuppie with whoopie godberg

theodore tits fart rex

yeah man do u also have the third toe on ur shoulder

the green spaghetti monster is coming for me and i can't blame him

today i learned starfish do not poop

that was nothing compared to some other things I saw

listen I'd willingly watch [NAME/PRONOUN] in a cell for 24 hours. Imagine that sounded less creepy

i'd lick a dirty flip flop off her abs

i’m tempted to show you all the gravity defining boobs, maybe tomorrow

my brain is on vacation

good morning! i ate breakfast and im ready to go to bed

tape the titty in

ive unironically had nightmares with [NAME] in them

the peanut in the auditory canal

so far this feel all comfortable, does this all make sense?

i know it's kind of a schlep to get through

nail polish or no nail polish for the shower?

and then he saw those big tt honkerz... and it all went down hill from there

can y’all stop chanting curses in the chat my furniture is stuck on the ceiling

EH?! CIAO? HELLO??

in Russia this is not ok

i can’t buy pants here on Sunday either

IT'S LIKE TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS TO EAT ON A SOGGY PANCAKE

imagine me going up to [NAME/PRONOUN] and being like i love the way ur flesh smells

in a supermarket. The sickly blue light where humans congregate. Animal human masses. Nameless faces. Whole lives boiled into generalized categories like "asshole who definitely does need 4 boxes of cheerios". Yout hink and realize while stabding in line u didnt grab the bag of frozen peas...but its 2 late

its truly the only picture that gives me pure joy

are weasels real

my work mum just messaged me the phrase "use your booty call wisely" with no context

"let's bring u to the mustache chair"

If you’re not doing coke under the coke sign what is the point?

#⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ meme day #HERE U GO U SINNERS.#THE SEQUEL.

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nuttyrabbit · 5 years

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Random question but what is some of the most tense moments you’ve seen in any series.

Alright, I’m rewriting this response because I hated the last one. This is a rather vague question, but an interesting one nonetheless. In terms of tense moments I’ve SEEN rather than experienced, there’s a few off the top of my head:

Honestly, the entire Grateful Dead/Beach Boys fight in Jojo Part 5 had me on edge the entire time because despite knowing that Passione would win, I didn’t know when and how, and each side kept pulling out more and more tricks that just got crazier and crazier.

Takamura vs Bryan Hawk from Hajime No Ippo. Like the last one, this one went back and forth so fucking often, and unlike the last one, I legitimately did not know who would win. It went down to the wire, and I loved every moment of it from start to finish. Takamura just has AMAZING fights in general.

Toys in the Attic and Brain Scratch from Cowboy Bebop were fucking excellent episodes that were loaded with tension and really, really weird shit going on that explained enough to make sense, but held back enough to still keep that tension. It was fucking fantastic.

Sonic escaping from the exploding capsule in SA2. Not much now, but as a kid that shit was SUPER fucking tense. Hell, the cutscene before it was tense as hell too.

The entire final sequence of Pokemon Black and White got my blood fucking pumping in the best way. Team Plasma’s castle rising from the ground, crossing that bridge, the gym leaders confronting the Seven Sages, the back to back fights with N and Ghestis, it was just nonstop fucking HYPE and the fights themselves were super close too, it was amazing.

The introduction of Cell in DBZ. What a fucking way to introduce a villain.

I don’t have many great things to say about the ST, but I have to say, that sequence at the end of Rogue One where Vader just cuts through all those troopers in the hallway was tense as hell the first time.

On a similar note, the first fight between Vader and Luke in Empire Strikes Back is also a great fight with a lot of really good tension behind it.

The fucking Apathy in RWBY Volume 6 were just nerve-wracking in their own right, especially towards the end of that mini-arc holy shit. I remember all the theories and ideas and predictions floating around and it was great.

Kars achieving his ultimate form in Jojo Part 2 was the perfect combination of awe-inspiring, terrifying, and tension-inducing and I loved every second of it. It helps that his theme, Avalon, perfectly communicated how royally fucked everyone was.

The Stain fight in MHA was an incredible combination of hype and nerve-wracking.

This is more an “experienced” than “seen”, but the fucking Warthog sequence at the end of Halo 3 deserves a mention for being that fucking amazing. Do that shit in co-op after spending hours and hours getting to that point and it is a fucking sublime experience full of yelling, clenched teeth, and at the end, fucking cheering. That’s how you end a fucking video game.

The entire Mogami sequence in Mob Psycho Season 2. Go watch it.

Also in the same vein as more an experience than anything, the fucking SAX in Metroid Fusion jesus shit.

Those are the ones off the top of my head. I’m sure there’s some I’m forgetting, hope you’re satisfied with THIS answer.

#asks

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ohparkers · 7 years

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Sleepwalking

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Cursing, awkwardness, sleep deprivation (?)

Summary: You stayed up late on a school night, and the side effects are as prominent as ever the next morning.

A/N: I wrote this over a couple of days so I’m sorry if some parts are a little wonky or inconsistent. It’s my longest imagine yet, lol. Also I might make this a series, maybe, maybe not :-) I’ll see how you guys like it. Ok, I think that’s it,,, enjoy!!

Staying up until 3 AM on a school night was never a good idea. However, after the new season of Stranger Things had just been released onto Netflix, your brain suddenly disregarded this well-known fact and decided that it would be a good idea to binge all the episodes in a single night. You’d certainly enjoyed the new season, but you weren’t enjoying the after effects of only getting three hours of sleep.

That was why when you’d stumbled onto the train the following morning, hair tied up in the messiest bun it’d ever been in, it took all of your willpower not to just fall asleep standing there holding onto the rail. It was just your luck that there were no open seats and you had been forced to stand up, cramming yourself in between other commuters and students and clutching onto the metal pole with one hand. You almost pulled out your phone to lazily scroll through social media, but thought better of it when the train rocked slightly and you almost went flying down the aisle.

Note to self: No matter how much Nancy Wheeler is your “badass queen”, there was no way you were going to function getting through a whole seven hour school day like this.

For heaven’s sake, even the extra-large, extra-hot coffee you’d downed before you left your apartment wasn’t even working. This was bad. And it could only get worse.

Your stop finally approached, and as the moving monorail slowly came to a stop you deemed it safe to use your cell phone to send a quick text to MJ.

Dude, I think I’m gonna pass out. How tf am I going to get through Chem? Oh god, MJ, this is gonna be a disaster.

You waited for a response, but were forced to lock your phone as people all around you began to get off and on the train. The chilly autumn air hit you harshly in the face as you stepped off, moving with the pace of the crowd. Luckily, the walk to Midtown from the train station wasn’t far.

Tucking your hands into the pockets of your army green jacket, you walked cautiously, so as to not completely fall forwards on your face. By the time you made it to the front campus of Midtown, the migraine inhabiting your head had already gotten what felt like ten times worse.

The school was alive with the buzz of students, or as alive as a building full of teenagers could be in the early hours of a Monday morning. Adjusting your backpack straps on your shoulder, you quickly spotted your friend perched on a bench just outside the front doors.

You picked up your pace only slightly, silently making your way over to greet the brunette, who’s curly mop of hair was turned downwards, nose tucked in a thick novel. “MJ!” You breathed, the breeze sending a short chill down your spine.

She looked up at you, a scowl already adorning her features before she realized that it was you speaking to her. Her facial expression quickly changed into a pitiful smile. “Oh my god, Y/N, you look kind of dead.”

You managed out a chuckle, even though you knew she was completely right. A side effect of getting little to no sleep is not being in the right state of mind to actually pick out a decent outfit. That morning, in the midst of your exhausted haze, you’d thrown on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a gray long-sleeved pullover, which you’d paired with your green jacket and black vans. The outfit could have been worse, but you hadn’t even bothered trying with your hair, instead leaving it in the messy bun you slept in.

So yeah, Michelle wasn’t too far off in saying that you looked kind of dead.

“Never mind that. It was all worth it to see more of the love of my life kicking some supernatural butt.” Grinning, you grabbed your friend by the wrist and pulled her to make her stand up.

MJ rolled her brown eyes. “Yeah, yeah, we all know about your insane girl crush.”

You returned the scowl she had given you before, then began walking, though you weren’t denying her accusation. Could you really even argue with that? Nope. The answer was no.

The taller girl fell into step next to you, and you chatted about some of your shared classes before you finally entered through the front doors of Midtown. It was always a struggle to maneuver through the crowds in the hallways, but after three years of attending the school you’d learned to manage it.

Your first class of the day was AP English, which fortunately you shared with your best friend. After a brief stop at your lockers, you headed towards the classroom together. The two of you made it through the door just as the second bell clanged throughout the halls, making you both cringe slightly and rush to sit down.

The class dragged on rather slowly, but you were thankful that it was a fairly easy lesson. If you day had started with something like Physics, you had no idea how you would’ve managed to even keep your eyes open for the whole hour long period.

When the class was finally over, you packed up your things and headed out of the room. You were going to Chemistry and MJ was headed to Algebra, but both of the rooms were in the same wing of the school, so you could walk together. You were almost at the door to the lab when you stopped dead in your tracks. Oh no. No, no, no.

“MJ, wait.” Tugging on the sleeve of her sweatshirt, you pulled her over towards you, your eyes wide as saucers.

She raised her eyebrows. “What is it?”

“My Chem folder! It’s sitting on my kitchen counter. Oh my god, MJ, oh my god. What if the teacher does one of those note checks? Holy shit. I’m screwed. Goodbye, A minus average. Rest in peace.” Shoving your flushed face in your hands, you pulled at the roots of your hair that had begun to fall out of the bun it was previously in.

The brunette sighed in response, shaking her head at you. She opened her mouth to say something before closing it abruptly, peeking her head into the doorway of the classroom and looking back at you with a wry smirk. “Hey, hey, relax. She might not check, and even if she does, you do have the smartest kid in our grade as your lab partner, need I remind you-”

Peter. It was your turn to peer into the lab, your eyes scanning over the rows of tables until they landed on the one you shared. All you could see from this angle was the back of his head, soft brown curls smushed down by the silly goggles he’d already adorned. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at the sight, becoming temporarily distracted and losing your train of thought.

“-Just go in there. You don’t want to be late.” MJ continued, shoving you lightly by the shoulder and turning to walk in the other direction. So much for support.

With that, you willed your feet to carry you into the brightly-lit lab room bustling with students. Taking a deep breath, you passed the couple of rows in the back of the room, bumping into the corners haphazardly and letting out a small groan. The lack of sleep was still affecting you greatly, even though it was already almost ten in the morning.

You reached your usual table with a sigh, looking over and seeing Peter still with his head ducked down into the side drawer. Almost not even wanting to bother him, you gingerly reached over and tapped him on the shoulder.

Your hand lingered there for just a moment too long. Since when was he so muscular, holy crap-

“O-oh, Y/N!” Peter’s voice snapped you out of your momentary daze, your hand on his shoulder quickly going back by your side to grab the straps of your backpack.

A breath hitched in your throat, suddenly awkwardness swept over you like a thick blanket and you couldn’t seem to even form words. Tired eyes focusing on the ends of your partner’s curly hair, curling around his ears in small tufts of golden brown, realization settled in.

You looked like you’d just rolled out of bed. Well, because technically you did, but still.

Suddenly all you wanted to do was disintegrate into a puddle of nothingness. Not only were you completely exhausted, you looked like an utter wreck and were now acting like a blubbering idiot in front of your cute lab partner. Fantastic.

Nervously, you placed your bag down on the floor, settling into the chair to the right of Peter’s. You chewed on your bottom lip out of anxiety, drumming your fingers on the wooden tabletop.

The bell rang again, sending the classroom that was previously bustling with conversation hushed into silence at the sight of your teacher entering through the door. Great, now even if you wanted to apologize to Peter for acting so weird, you couldn’t.

The teacher made her way to the front of the room, coffee cup in hand. She put her stack of papers down on her desk before promptly launching into a lecture about the activity you’d be doing that day. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Peter rush to remove his goggles and stop fiddling with whatever he was making in the drawer.

You were used to these long instructional talks, however, this one seemed to be droning on an excessively lengthy amount of time. There was no way you’d get to complete a whole lab with only nearly half of the class period left. Hey, at least you were sure that there wouldn’t be a notes check that day. At least that relieved some of your stress.

Slowly but surely, you could subconsciously feel yourself drift off, the hand supporting your head atop the table providing a makeshift pillow. Unrested eyes fluttering shut easily, before you could stop it you were out like a light.

A nudge at your side. Nothing.

A tap at your foot. Nope.

From across the table, Peter’s mind and heart were racing. The teacher would look over here at any second, and you were not-so-subtly snoozing out in the middle of class.

He didn’t know any other way to get you to wake up; and he had to get you awake, although you were blatantly exhausted, your teacher would certainly give you detention if she caught you.

Wiping his hands on his jeans, Peter willed his heart to stop beating so fast. It didn’t listen. The nervous boy reached under the table, taking the hand that wasn’t holding your head up and - he held his breath - took it in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

The unfamiliar contact caused your eyes to fly open in surprise, while Peter let out a deep breath from beside you. He quickly removed his hand from yours (as much as he didn't want to), a blush forming on his freckled cheeks. You were about to turn to him, confused, but were cut off.

“Y/N? Do you know the answer?”

Your eyebrows raised in shock. Looking up to the front of the room, you met the gaze of your unamused professor.

Next to you, your partner hurriedly scribbled out something in the margin of his notebook before pushing it over towards your line of vision. Trying to discreetly look down, you read the words on the page with a shaky voice. “U-um. Yes? I mean, um, you would need to use Raoult’s Law.”

Your teacher nodded suspiciously,“Yes, that’s correct.” before focusing her attention on the white board behind her. When you sensed that she was no longer looking in your direction, you turned to Peter.

“Holy crap, thank you so much!” You whispered.

Peter shrugged, clicking his pen repeatedly, a nervous habit he couldn’t seem to kick. “O-of course. I mean, it’s not like you wouldn’t do the same for me, wait, uh, I didn’t mean that you-” His cheeks darkened in color, if that was even possible.

You bit down on your lip in order to try and hide a smile. God, he was so cute. And he held your hand.

He held your hand.

It felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest from how fast it was racing. Did this mean-

Just then, the bell rang. The fucking bell rang. As students around you packed up their belongings and headed out, the two of you seemed glued down to your chairs. Both of you wanted to say something, anything, but neither of you could find the right words.

As more people funneled out, you decided it was now or never. You suddenly forgot about your disheveled hair and the fact that yesterday’s mascara was still kind of smudged under your eyes.

“Do you-”

“We should-”

You both blurted out at the same time, looking over at each other with eyes as wide as saucers. Your hand flew over your mouth, trying to conceal laughter, but when you saw Peter doing the same you decided to just let it go. Giggling like a toddler at your total awkwardness, your eyes met his.

You stopped laughing. “Um,”

“Uh, hey, you know what? Here.” reaching over to Peter’s spiral notebook that was still placed on top of the table, you scribbled something in the margin, similarly to how he’d done just minutes before when he totally saved your ass.

Except what you wrote wasn’t some Chemistry law. It was your phone number.

If he thought he was stuck before, Peter was really frozen in his seat now. He watched as you slid the notebook over to him with a shy smile, before picking up your backpack and walking out the door.

From the doorframe, you turned to meet his gaze one more time, grinning before heading to your next class.

Peter clutched the notebook in his arms, close to his chest, where he could still feel his heart racing.

“Parker, get out of here!” The teacher demanded, causing the blushing boy to practically jump out of his chair and race out the door to find Ned and tell him everything.

Tags: @nedslaptop

(If you want to be tagged in the future just send me an ask!!)

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thetowerupright · 4 years

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this is absolute word vomit. sorry in advance.

i started a new med and my psychiatrist said to take it in the morning bc it wont make me as drowsy as the last anxiety med, but when picking up my med the pharmacist said I absolutely need to take it at night bc i’ll get extremely drowsy. i decided to take it bc i had a horrible panic attack at walgreens so it would help me sleep. so i took it at midnight and laid in bed until 2:45 just not being able to sleep :) sooo i guess the med fought against my actual sleep med and now im wide awake :)) ANYWAYS these are all of my thoughts since midnight

1. i had to delete my twitter app bc i like going on there at night and signing petitions bc there’s so many resources for them on twitter. however so many people are coming out about being raped or molested which is good bc i want people to tell their stories but holy shit it is so triggering. just seeing stories and details like i go on and i have to log off a short time later bc im so triggered. it sucks because i want to be there for people but i cant do that if im triggered ya kno?

2. i have always loved amy winehouse for so many reasons but when i sing one of her songs it’s the only time i feel confident in my singing. she was just such a gem and it makes me so sad to know i’ll never be able to see her live. i’ll go a couple months without listening to her and then a song will come on shuffle and she’s all i listen to for the next 24 hours i love her so much

3. going back to singing, god damn. i miss that shit. i miss performing and being on stage and singing and dancing and acting. i posted a video of me singing on tik tok and i keep almost deleting it because i sound so terrible. i am so terribly out of practice. the other day i found like the tap dance side of tik tok and i almost bought myself some tap shoes and a floor set so i could start tap again. i still remember so much lol but like my singing im so out of practice. bc of my rapist and shitty people in high school i feel like i sound so fucking terrible and have so much anxiety singing infront of people. it sucks i just wanna work on the fear

4. i heard recently that people with anxiety will tend to watch the same tv and movies over and over and over again bc their brain already knows how it ends, and i felt so snatched!!! i restarted the office last week, soooo this is my 13th time watching it. ive watched 5 seasons in like 9 days. and when i finish it (which will probably be in the next couple days) ya kno what im gonna do? PLAY SEASON ONE EPISODE ONE lmfao the office is my tv show weighted blanket

5. i realized that since deleting my instagram soooo much tension has left me. like not just in my body but my soul as well. that shit is just so extremely toxic. im glad i deleted my account and dont have the pressures in my life to please people on social media. i did get a little annoyed tho bc people kept messaging me wanting an explanation and i dont owe anyone shit! however it was fucking hysterical when i put out 24 hours before deleting it that i was leaving and all the men actively in my dms were messaging me all upset like HONEY you’ll be FINE go masturbate to someone else GOOD BYE

6. my savage x fenty package was suppose to be here monday and still isnt here :) so im in nashville and it went from indianapolis, to memphis, to louisville, and is supposedly in nashville as of tonight. like they went south and passed me, then was in the SAME STATE, went NORTH OF ME, and now it’s here. it was also shipped by fedex and i haaate fedex because similar shit like this ALLLLLWAYS happens!! honestly im only frustrated bc im so use to my amazon packages being at my house 4-48 hours later. i say 4 hours bc last month i order something at 4am and it was delivered to my house at 8am that day lol

7. i saw a tik tok about rape that said hey guess what every 7 years you have new cells so in 7 years you’ll have a body that was never touched by your rapist. im happy bc nov 11 will be 7 years since the start of everything so those cells will be gone. but he raped me in february so that’ll be another 7 years for new cells. it’s nice to know i’ll have new cells one day that arent touched by him, but as i sit here typing this i can still feel where he first touched me in nov 2013 and i wish i could burn all my skin off

8. in the last 2 days i have eaten....3 bites of a grilled cheese. :)) like ive gone to eat and just the smell of food makes me so sick. i wish i could go back to my attempt in april and be like “hey frankie yeah uhhhhh dont do this...for obvious reasons ofc but also bc you literally will not eat food for months!!!” i cant tell you how many times ive gotten food i love and taken a bite and it’s soooo gooood and then after two or three more bites my body is like “NOOOOOPE ABORT MISSION”

9. it’s almost a year since rileys death. i’m trying to keep myself distracted as best i can. it’s hard though. i miss them so much. i feel so empty sometimes without them physically being in my life anymore. a year has passed and i still find myself picking up my phone to talk to them. ive gone through this pain before and i know it gets better it truly does. but right now it’s hard and painful and absolutely heartbreaking and soul shattering. i hope whatever happens after death, riley is okay. theyre happy and free and their soul is more alive than it was on earth.

10. i felt suicidal today and for a moment yesterday for the first time in awhiiiile. not actively or wanting to do harm to myself, but just not wanting to live anymore. when i talked to my resident about it today and how i was dealing with it, he said i was doing a really really good job. and that he was proud of me. i didnt cry then but when he went to get the psychiatrist that was subbing in for mine, i did cry a little. i wish i heard more that people were proud of me. i’ll appreciate that from anyone, but i fucking wish my family would tell me that. they never really have, going all the way into childhood to now. idk i just feel like nobody is proud but im trying so fucking hard.

11. the sun is rising and it’s so pretty outside. despite everything, this week is going well. it’s not like fantastic or anything, but i feel a little more lively this week than the past several weeks. a few weeks ago i looked at myself in the mirror and started sobbing. not just because i hate how i look and my body. but because i saw no light or life in my eyes. i took a selfie a couple days ago, and i saw a little light and life again. im not gonna say things are better, but things are very very slowly improving. just gotta do the next right thing. ttyl :)

#word vomit

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everythingsfantastic-blog · 7 years

Text

The Best Films of 2016, by Derek Leidig

I kind of hate writing about movies. I am not a film critic, with no aim to be (Lights Camera, Jackson! stole my shtick anyway). I once dropped a college course for asking me to write a review of Rebel Without a Cause. I can talk about this until you are blue in the face, but writing is another matter entirely.

Firstly, my brain breaks down at the synopsis part. Maybe it was me bombing on a college placement writing test because I couldn’t read an article and write a concise synopsis—my English teacher in high school taught us how to read, think and write, not just chew, swallow and boot. Second, having worked on films and all the toil and compromise that goes with it, as well as being somewhat removed from my younger film school dickishness, I don’t take joy in ripping the shit out of things at length(although Passengers, your time is coming.)

I have wanted to put together a list like this every year, but I have only done it once or twice, because its a lot of work and I rarely know what it is I truly love in the moment. I also quickly realized that a simple, “top ten” would not work, as this had been a stellar year. I also don’t see the point in specific numeric rankings, because I’m frankly bad with numbers. Waiting until the Oscars to post this is not because of any special hot takes about any awards, but I needed the time and I didn’t get my screeners this year (or any other).

For everything I saw, there was something I wanted to see but did not (yet), so this is a at best a work in progress. Time and opportunity kept me from Silence, Certain Women, The Witch, Swiss Army Man, Train to Busan, The Wailing, The Treasure, The Neon Demon, A Bigger Splash, 10 Cloverfield Lane, Triple 9, Patterson, The Childhood of a Leader, The Love Witch, Patterson, I, Daniel Blake, Neruda , a whole battalion of documentaries and yes, Gods of Egypt. And all the others I forgot.

2016, shit year it, was also when I decided to stop watching trailers pretty much altogether, something I will get into, self-righteously, at some other date. It has been transformative. It is as if someone was playing a game, then stopped, then started playing another, different game and enjoys it even more. If only there were an over-used term for that phenomenon.

So, proud to love all below, even if to varying degrees. Gives me hope that 2017 will contain way too many films and thus will

BECAUSE

I liked these fine, but really loved them specifically for…

OTHER PEOPLE

For Molly Shannon. I saw her on TV the other day and actually was relieved that she was feeling better.

MORRIS FROM AMERICA

For Keith Robinson driving his son home from Berlin.

NOCTURNAL ANIMALS

For being pretty and for Michael Shannon doin’ stuff.

CHRISTINE

No, not that one. This one is another horror story about Christine Chubbuck, a Florida news reporter who shot herself in the head live on-air in 1974. I liked other films more, but boy if Rebecca Hall doesn’t dominate the world in this— her eyebrows alone.I couldn’t quite get into the unofficial non-fiction counterpart, Kate Plays Christine, however. Maybe I’l give it another chance sometime.

WEINER DOG

For bringing me back into the Todd Solondz camp after a long absence, and for reminding me when someone asks me for a recommendation, why I also say, “If you think you won’t like it, you won’t. But don’t blame me.” It is slow, uneven, and terrible for humanity (and dogs) and it actually makes diarrhea operatic. It’s the movie that had me laugh the hardest, because frankly I am awful.

THE ACCOUNTANT

For reading ahead of time, a blog post that stated: “The Accountant is Ben Affleck’s best Batman movie.” In that mind-frame, I loved the stupid thing.

THE COMFORT FOODS OF 2016 (THE ONES I SAW THE MOST)

DEADPOOL

A blockbuster that made lemonade. I can see the budget cuts, the studio apprehension, the let’s-figure-out-a-structure every time I watch it, but it works like a motherfucker. Good luck on the sequel.

POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING

Funnier than you. My only complaint is that I liked Hot Rod more. Which is a dick thing to say.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Age of Ultron with breathing room. I don’t know how they make any of this comic book movies make sense, but they do. Sure, it might kill the industry, but that fight scene was TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES LONG.

THE NICE GUYS

It does not stick the landing, but like the The Departed, I will watch this over and over to find more jokes. It will take decades. Russell Crowe is also the most unlikely winner of spit-take of the century.

AND IN NO ORDER

KRISHA

They finally made a horror film about Thanksgiving. A one-location wonder, where you, the viewer, are trapped in house, on Thanksgiving, with that aunt we don’t talk about. And she probably wasn’t a Trump voter either.

JACKIE

For me, this one probably had the largest span between initial interest and ultimate reaction. It’s not a history lesson, although there is much to be learned. It is also wisely not a straight biopic, instead focusing on a small pivotal few weeks in Jackie Kennedy’s life. From the faded Kodakchrome (Super-16mm) palette to the career-best work of Natalie Portman, I loved the whole damn thing. And to think this is director THIRD American release this year (after The Club and Neruda).

EVERYBODY WANTS SOME

How does this even work? Bros and philosophy. And baseball. And Austin. And LP’s.

MOONLIGHT

This might be the best in the lot. Or at least the one I feel the most grateful that it successfully ran the awards gauntlet and thus found an audience. Masterful stuff.

THE LOBSTER

Of course John C. Reilly is in it.

ARRIVAL

This is one hit me hard. Maybe because I saw it in December and I kept thinking that the real-life incoming new government’s response to “the Arrival” would not be patient or curious. I’m glad this found an audience. I’m glad that Forrest Whitaker is still on movie posters. I’m glad it introduced me to composer Max Richter, whose music I now use as a lullaby. I’m not glad the Academy felt that Meryl Streep needed to be recognized again as a national treasure instead of Amy Adams.

MIDNIGHT SPECIAL

The first of his two releases this year (LOVING is damn good too) and a film that apparently would turn into a giant flesh-eating monster if it played in too many theaters at once (Thanks, Warner Brothers, you saved us). This was the film that made me decide not to watch trailers anymore. I saw this pretty much dry, on recommendation and I am glad I did. Kirsten Dunst has put together a pretty damn great body of work, i must say.

EDGE OF SEVENTEEN

I love the thought that there are going to be (young) people who are going to watch this like SAY ANYTHING… over the next decade and beyond.

LA LA LAND

The greatest of all films of all of times of ever. Or maybe less than that. Wished I had seen it on a bigger screen. Launcher of crap op-eds.

HELL OR HIGH WATER

My kind of movie. I want to see this again and soon. I’m glad it is still in the conversation. As much as I love Jeff Bridges, I would have liked to have seen Ben Foster get the same awards attention.

GREEN ROOM

My friend watches a horror film every day during the month of October. I watched this one, although I didn’t know it was a horror film. This is expert stuff.

AMERICAN HONEY

It’s almost 3 hours, so watch it in chunks as I did. I booked Arnold’s FISH TANK years ago, and was so glad I did. This build the same magic from scraps.

TONI EARDMANN

I want to see this again because (like ELLE) I simply did not see the same movie that the critics did. But I did like what I saw enough that I will put in the additional three hours. Was it a two hour windup to a series of punchlines? I will find out. At some point. I also did not see nearly enough foreign films in 2016.

SING STREET

Worth it. It’s right there on Netflix. Worth it.

HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE

Somewhere, someplace, somehow it is Ricky Baker’s birthday.

THE FITS

A little girl and her brother are in a community center. It’s an hour and ten minutes. All you need to know. Holy shit is this strong.

THE HANDMAIDEN

A period piece by Park-fuckin-Oldboy-Chan-Wook that cooks with gas. And oh, so very very naughty.

20th CENTURY WOMEN

One of the things I don’t like about awards season is the ”quality glut” Too much good stuff all at once, jammed at end of the year, fighting for gold attention to further their life span in theaters.

Everything about this clicks, from cast to setting to time period (1979—NO cell phones). And that soundtrack. I want all movies to contain at least some Bowie, Rudy Vallee, Suicide, Fred Astaire and/or the Buzzcocks. I secretly hope that they decide to re-release this one.

THE RED TURTLE/KUBO & THE TWO STRINGS

Two animated films better than ZOOTOPIA, by eight Yao Mings and three Robert Waldows (search—you are already on the internet). KUBO is a one of those things where every shot is, “how the hell?” mixed with a great story. See it. THE RED TURTLE is a Belgian film given Studio Ghibli”s blessing. It’s about a man who is stranded on an island and during his many attempts to leave…something happens. Beautiful, grown-up and like, way existential, the film is better than most of us really deserves.

SO NOW THEN

My answer to the question, “What’s the best film of the year?” is usually, “I haven’t seen it yet”. It makes me sound above it all and it keeps me from having to think, but the truth is I usually don’t know until some time has past. For example, I now know that Mad Max:Fury Road was the best film of 2015, because I watched it about ten more times in 2016 (and wept, frequently). Some years I know that Let The Right One In or In the Loop i is the greatest damn thing I ever damn saw. So right now, the best film of this year was when I watched Walkabout, from 1971 for the first time in 10 years. I done cheated.

Somehow, I didn’t see ROGUE ONE.

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