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getmemorehomeinspectionsnow · 8 months

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youtube

https://getmemorehomeinspectionsnow.com/reputation-marketing/

https://homeinspectorhelp.com/ | Home Inspector Marketing | Home Inspector Help

In today's fast-paced digital world, social media marketing for home inspectors is not just an option; it's a necessity. This video dives deep into how home inspectors can leverage social media to expand their reach, attract more clients, and ultimately grow their business. We uncover practical strategies, innovative home inspector marketing techniques, and the secrets behind effective home inspection social media marketing.

Starting with the basics, we explore the importance of a solid home inspector digital marketing plan. Learn how platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn can become powerful tools in your marketing arsenal. Discover how engaging content, consistent posting, and targeted campaigns can enhance your home inspector seo and online presence.

But it's not just about being online. It's about making an impact. We delve into home inspector marketing secrets that set you apart in the competitive market. Understand how to create content that resonates with your audience, from educational posts about home inspection to behind-the-scenes insights into your daily work.

The realm of home inspection marketing is vast and varied. This video provides a roadmap for navigating it successfully. From harnessing the power of home inspection newsletters to innovative home inspection advertising techniques, we cover it all. Get inspired by unique marketing ideas for home inspectors that you can implement right away.

If you're struggling with how to get home inspection leads, this video is a goldmine. We discuss home inspection leads generation strategies, using social media to build a strong, engaging, and loyal customer base. Plus, we'll touch on the importance of a professional home inspector website and home inspection business plan in supporting your social media efforts.

For those aiming to excel in seo for home inspectors and home inspection seo, we provide insights into optimizing your online content. A strong SEO strategy ensures that your services are easily discoverable by potential clients searching online.

We haven't forgotten about traditional methods either. Learn how to blend home inspection video marketing and other digital strategies with conventional marketing for home inspection business tactics for a holistic approach.

Remember, every post, every tweet, every update is an opportunity to grow your business. Don't miss out on these valuable insights. If you're ready to transform your home inspection marketing and elevate your business, click the link below to learn more and take the first step towards mastering social media marketing for home inspectors.

Visit us at: https://thesavvyinspector.com/

Check us at: https://digitalproductsforhomeinspectors.com/

Read more at: https://www.bizbangboom.com/articles/the-benefits-of-home-inspection-seo

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ozzgin · 10 months

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Yandere! Yakuza x Reader

I've been plagued by this idea for a while, so let me know what you think! This is just the character introduction. Your new landlord is a Yakuza boss, and his scary looking underling has been tasked to deal with your tenant needs! Although he didn't expect you to be this cute. And you didn't expect him to be this unhinged.

Content: female reader, violence, mentions of stalking

[Part 2] | [Yakuza Masterlist]

This was the last straw.

You're angrily stuffing your suitcase with necessities before the moving company arrives. Each glimpse around the cramped apartment fills you with outrage, as you're still heavily shaken from the events of last night.

You first begun to suspect you might have a stalker when you found your outer lock with a fresh dent in it. You then picked a small scrap from the ground nearby and assumed it was leftover damage, but upon further inspection you discovered, disgusted, that it was part of your peephole. Someone must've fiddled with your door a fair amount. You tried to approach your immediate neighbors for help, but they either refused to answer your persistent knocks or downright scurried away when faced with your questions. They didn't want to deal with a foreigner.

You tried to put it behind you. The police advised you to be cautions, as there was nothing else they could do without concrete evidence. And thankfully, you had several peaceful weeks following the incident. Last night you were suddenly awakened by faint scratches coming from your balcony. You groggily got up and wondered if your recently added bird feeder was attracting nocturnal visitors. You got up without turning on the light, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious animal. As you pulled the drape, however, you were met with the large frame of a man plucking your laundry in a hurry.

A panicked scream erupted from the depths of your chest and you slapped the light switch, erratically searching for your phone. By the time you dialed emergency, the intruder had vanished. You were sobbing against the wall under the fake reassurances of the operator, eyeing the sliding door that had no lock. Had he wished, the masked man could've easily invited himself in. You were at the mercy of a lunatic and no one seemed to be impressed by your situation.

No more. Ideally you'd go back to your home country and forget about your plans to build yourself a life in Japan. What were you even thinking? A lonely girl, low on funds, signing a contract to be relocated across the ocean for work. You barely scraped the first months of a mandatory year.

You close your suitcase with a satisfying click and on your way out you wipe the table of all the newspaper clippings. You've been scanning the potential offers on the market. The ones within your budget, of course, which means you don't have to worry about being picky. Until you find a new place, your belongings can wait in storage. Dusty furniture is a better prospect than waking up with a pervert looming over you.

By the time the clock hits evening hours, you're sipping on your iced coffee with a defeated sigh. Most of the cheap apartments seem to be given to locals. Not outsiders like you. At least they spared you of the false hopes and curtly told you to not expect any call back, so you can swiftly move on to the next circled address. You pull out the crumbled sheet of paper from your pocket. Reading over your list of crossed out lines like this deflates you greatly. At the very bottom lies your final hope: the ad you'd stumbled upon this morning was too good to be true and the realtor was available for viewing at any time, so you're almost certain it's some sort of scam. Yet you can't afford to skip it, can you? You stand up, pat your jeans and take a deep breath in.

As you check your phone to confirm the location, you begin to doubt your decision. It's hard to believe no other potential renters have showed up. The apartment is in a convenient area, very close to public transport, at a great price, on what looks like a busy street. Isn't it the dream? So why? You glance around, examining the surroundings. The shops are bustling with people. You try to come up with possible explanations, when a deep voice startles you.

"You must be (Y/N), right? You sure are easy to spot."

You turn around to greet the person. Although the second you spot him, you take an unconscious step back. You'd expected a middle aged man dressed in formal attire with a shy bow and clumsy movements. The one standing before you resembles none of that. He's imposingly tall, with a muscular built and slicked back hair. You can discern the tattoos peeking out from under the rolled up sleeves. His face has multiple deep scars and you can only assume that the pale, discolored eye that's transfixed in one direction is a fake made of glass. One might call him handsome, if you're into the kind of appearance you see in documentaries about the mafia.

"Y-you're the landlord?" You stutter, immediately covering your mouth and regretting your lack of tact.

"Nuh uh, Boss sent me to deal with it." He flashes you a genuine grin, completely unperturbed by your offhanded implication. "I'm Daitou."

He continues towards the entrance and you follow behind, too awkward to back down now. He describes the living quarters with surprising enthusiasm. If you were to close your eyes and disregard his heavy Kansai accent, you could very well be convinced it's a professional real estate agent hard at work.

"Excuse me for asking, but..." Once he finishes his marketing presentation, you cannot help the increasing anxiety. "What's the catch?"

"Huh?"

"For something like this to be so cheap...and no one else being interested...may I be frank and ask what's wrong with it? Please understand, I just left my previous apartment because of a stalker. I don't want to be packing again anytime soon."

"Well, isn't it obvious?" He searches your gaze for a moment, before gasping as if remembering something. "Wait, you're a foreigner, so I guess you don't know. Ah, that explains it."

He lets out a hearty laugh, satisfied with his conclusion.

"You didn't notice anything strange outside?"

You ponder his question before slowly shaking your head in denial.

"Really? A bunch of heavily tattooed guys with family pins on their suits...This is a yakuza quarter. Our Family owns most businesses here. But lately we've had a lot of police on our backs, ya know? Bound to happen when the street is swarming with us. So Boss had this great idea - he's smart like that, ya know, I've never been the bright one - anyways, he suggested we rent some of our housing to regular civilians. Less suspicious that way."

He crosses his arms and nods to himself proudly.

"I myself think it's a great deal. You won't find anything cheaper for the kind of stuff you're getting. All you have to do is, you know, mind your business. If some weasel questions you, no Sir, you haven't seen or heard anything suspicious. That's all."

You can only stare wide eyed, somewhat taken aback by his honesty.

"Uh...Are you sure you were supposed to tell me all of this? I feel we're skipping some steps before admitting to organized crime."

Now it's his turn to consider your inquiry.

"Probably not, but I'm not good with words. You look like a smart girl, so I thought I won't sugarcoat it. I'm sure you already know that if you leave and rat us out I'll be throwing your chopped up remains in the nearby river. Or would you want to be shipped home instead? I'm a nice guy like that, hehe."

You return a crooked smile and purse your lips in the process. You'd rather not learn the percentage of truth in his humor anytime soon.

"You mentioned a stalker? I can guarantee you he won't follow here, miss. And if he's that dumb to wander on our turf, well, me and my guys always hang around the block. Leave him to me and I'll bring you his teeth in a box."

"I-...Why teeth of all the things?"

"Just easier to pull out, ya know." He winks and reaches for his back pocket, revealing an old pair of pliers with childish delight. "See, I'm a bit of a handyman, so I always have some tools on me."

Strangely enough, you're not as terrified as you would expect from someone in your shoes. Certainly your knees are weaker when compared to your pre-encounter state, but there's something about his demeanor that doesn't feel malicious or threatening. Like conversing with an old friend at a pub.

"Will I truly not get in trouble? You guys do your thing and I'm 100% not involved?"

"You have my word." And with that, as if closing the sale of his lifetime, he confidently slaps a stack of papers on the nearby counter and hands you a pen. "You already have my number, if anyone pisses you off just hit me up and I'll be at your service. Boss left everything to me."

No perverts and less of your monthly allowance going towards rent. Maybe it's your despair talking, but you've been persuaded nonetheless. You scribble your name in the designated field and shove the documents towards your new acquaintance.

"Pleasure doing business with you, miss (Y/N)." He cheerfully dangles the keys before dropping them in your hand and heads for the door.

"Oh, is shipping included in the rent?"

He stops and turns to you, mildly confused.

"You said if I mess up you'll ship my remains home. Do I pay for the postage myself, or is that part of the monthly tax?" You ask with a cheeky grin.

His eyes narrow in delight and you can tell he's greatly amused by your words.

"Nah, consider it a gift from me. Gotta treat a lady nice, 'specially if it's a pretty one like you."

And with that, you're alone again. You look around the room, trying to visualize your new home. It's already getting dark outside. Now that you've had the situation explained to you, you can definitely see what Daitou meant. There's the occasional police officer patrolling the street, and plenty of men dressed in similar fashion walking in small groups.

"And?"

Outside the building, a young man is leaning against the wall with a cigarette in his mouth. He seems to have been waiting for Daitou.

"It's done. Some cute foreigner is moving in." He lifts an arm in a flexing motion, patting his bicep in a congratulatory manner. "Boss will be surprised, eh?"

"You're fucking with me."

"What? You wanna go back upstairs and check?" He responds, appalled. "Might've taken longer than expected, but I told ya I can manage!"

"Are you sure you didn't threaten her or something? I still don't know what Boss was thinking when he asked a nutcase like you to deal with the civvies."

"Hey hey hey, I may not be all fancy speaking like you or Kazuya, but I'm not dumb. Matter of fact, she already signed the papers."

"I never said you're dumb. Just batshit crazy." The young man sighs and flicks his cigarette butt away, stomping on it.

"Let's go and tell the others."

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x darling #female reader #yandere yakuza #yakuza x reader #yandere imagine #yandere imagines #yandere oc #yandere original character #yandere mafia #mafia x reader #original work #oc x reader #male yandere x reader #x reader

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specshroom · 5 months

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A Mischievous Fairy

˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹

When a humble farmer decided to live on the outskirts of town right next to the forest he did not expect to make friends with a small temperamental creature from the forest.

It was a pretty good deal you had going on, you help his plants grow with fairy magic and he gives you a safe warm place to sleep and home cooked meals. Most days are spent with you doing your best to annoy the poor farmer as he tries to remind himself that you're the reason his produce sells for such high prices.

You fly around his head making little jingle noises and he tries to ignore you and go on with his work. You steal little things like spoons, screwdrivers, pencils and put them in places he can't reach like on top of the cabinets and shelves. When you get mad at him you grow weeds in his crops until he apologizes or gives you a gift to your liking. Despite this the farmer has grown to truly enjoy your company...for the most part.

His loneliness is getting to him and he's tried to have company over but it's kind of hard to explain to guests why there's a little, scantily clad fairy staring daggers at them the whole time. It definitely ruins the mood as he tries to convince them you won't bite (you will and you have).

One day the farmer comes home from town looking more excited than usual. You plop yourself on his head as he walks around his little cottage.

As he sorts through all the items he bought you get impatient and decide he's not paying enough attention to you. You fly right in front of his face and pose for him, showing off the new outfit you made out of flower petals in his garden.

"Not right now, Tiny."

The farmer rolls his eyes and gently shoos you away with his hand, focusing back onto his apparently very interesting haul from the market. The very rude gesture gets you all fired up and you're in his face again this time with your hands on your hips and an angry expression. The farmer sighs and gently cradles your tiny body in his hands.

"Look, I'm busy. Alright?"

He walks over to the windowsill and gently plops you down onto the little pincushion he set aside for you. You sit there with your arms crossed, glaring at him as he puts away his items.

While you're sulking you notice a little bottle of purple liquid poking out of the farmers front pocket. You quietly flutter over and sneakily inch the tiny thing out of his pocket.

"Hey!"

The farmer tries to stop you but you're much faster than him and fly up, out of his reach. The glass bottle is a little bigger than you're torso and when you inspect it the label says "Growth serum"

You let out quite a dramatic gasp and look down at the farmer, betrayal written all over your face.

"Now Tiny, don't jump to conclu-"

The farmer starts but is interrupted by a very angry fairy yelling things he doesn't understand right in his face. All he can hear is jingles but he's sure he's getting severely cussed at. He understands why, you helped this man grow his crops bigger and better than ever and now you think he wants to replace you for some stupid, probably overpriced serum?

You angrily throw the bottle to the ground and the farmer dives down to clumsily catch it before it smashes onto the floor.

As you feel tears fall down your hot cheeks, you flutter back to your windowsill and sit with your head between your knees.

"Hey, don't cry now."

The farmer sheepishly leans against the windowsill next to you.

"I promise, it's not for the plants. You already help me out so much with that and I appreciate it a lot. I don't need anything else."

You peak your head out from your arms and look at him skeptically.

He holds his hand out to you and you hesitantly flutter onto his palm, enjoying the warmth of his touch despite the cold wetness of your cheeks.

"Truth is, it's lonely for me out here... and I know you get lonely too."

You scoff at him. Obviously, the whole reason you were upset in the first place was because he was ignoring you.

"I uh... I got this for you. So we could....uh well only if you want to, I mean... I don't know."

You stare at him dumbfounded as he fumbles his words, you've never seen the farmer like this before.

You shoot up to hug his cheek, jingling in excitement. You give him tiny kisses and he laughs at the ticklish feeling. You float to the counter in front of him and bounce on your heels waiting for him.

"Alright, alright."

He chuckles at your stark change in mood and uncaps the tiny bottle of magic liquid. You brace yourself as he carefully lets one single drop fall onto your little head.

Nothing happens for a moment but before you could feel disappointed the world blurs and you're suddenly face to face with your farmer.

He stares down at where you sit on his counter, now perfectly human sized. Your cute dress didn't survive the quick transition but you don't seem to mind as you jump the poor farmer.

You grab his face and kiss him deeply. Finally feeling his lips on yours makes your wings flutter and your heart sing as you lock your legs around him to pull his body closer.

"Alright, slow down."

He says through kisses and huffed laughs as you kiss all over his face and neck.

"Now why don't you let me show you how much I appreciate you."

He mumbles in a sultry tone, bringing his hands down to grip your ass and grind your hips into him.

He laughs at the way your wings violently flutter and takes that as eager agreement.

˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˚˖′.⊹ ࣪ ˖˚·˖*.⊹

#teeheeheehee #monster fucker #(?)#shit what do i tag this #fairy #fae #nsft fantasy #fantasy prompts #monster lover #monster x human #fairy x human #fae x human

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asunflowerana · 1 month

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𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐭

summary: usual grocery day with your husband

with: bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, sakusa kyoomi and osamu miya.

n/a: brought this one from my old blog, one of my favorites. I'm thinking about making a part 2 with more hq boys, I personally enjoy imagining them dealing with grocery with me 😂. hope you guys enjoy!

⊛ bokuto koutaro

a child inside a full-grow 190cm male body, that's what he is. The fact that he still pouts whenever you remind him that "no, you can't get inside the cart baby, you won't fit" proves the point. But besides his childish mood, he can turn your time shopping a lot funnier.

he does cart races, searches for lower prices like hunting a treasure, throw his hands in the air when he finds his favorite snacks and cackles at every single brand with a silly name. He's a total dork, but his excitement is so endearing that you cannot help but absorb it. It's actually sweet, the way he lightly takes a domestic duty. He's also helpful, willingly carrying the bags to the car, and storing the groceries later at home.

he yearns to stay close to you, so even if his both hands are grabbing the cart handle, at least some arm-brushing will happen. He'll feel pretty lost if you both need to part ways through the market, but it's cute how he beams when you guys find each other later.

favorite section: breakfast food section (he's addicted to cereal), and meat section.

what you usually hear from him: "babe, can we buy this?"

⊛ oikawa tooru

if there's something Tooru doesn't look forward to, is grocery day. He even tried to wipe it off the fridge calendar a few times before, but you're too good to be fooled. "the Santos already ordered by delivery, why can't we do the same?" and he always uses the neighbor's card to try to convince you, whining like his teenager version would.

but one way or another, you always get him to go. If he's in a bad mood, he'll probably sulk in the beginning, lazily riding the cart while sighing every two minutes 'cause this is a total "waste of time". But as the shopping proceeds, he gets used to it, even forgetting what he was so grumpy about when a product catches his attention. With some subtle kisses and a small treat, you can even get a smile out of him.

He likes to wrap his arm around your back or keep you close by the waist. Not having you there with him it's the worst thing it could happen, so he needs to make sure you stay by his side (also because he simply likes holding you).

favorite section: checkouts (not a surprise), and cosmetics section (he can spend a good amount of time selecting body products).

what you usually hear from him: "are we done?"; "baby, I need your help. This one, or this one?".

⊛ sakusa kiyoomi

He's the one looking forward to this day. He gets uneasy when things run out in the house, so going shopping is almost necessary for his peace of mind. What he doesn't look forward to, though, is dealing with people at the supermarket. Most precisely, the lines, but let's not talk about it to not ruin the mood.

he's very selective, taking whatever time he has to inspect and be sure of the products, in case it isn't a common choice of yours. He appreciates being aware of what you are consuming, not only for being an athlete but because he cares about your health. He likes to share what he's been learning from the team's nutritionist, but he is not a dictator: if you want to treat yourself to some tasty sweets or snacks, he won't get in the way. He'll even join the party.

He'll offer his arm for you to wrap your own, or hold hands. He's grateful to have your company, so he'll cherish it as much as he can. He's also very protective if the place or the lines are too crowned, keeping you by his side and holding you close with his arm.

favorite section: cleaning products (you have no idea how relieved he gets when he goes there).

what you usually hear from him: "I know you want it. Go ahead, put in the cart"; "tsc, they always put the gloves way back there"; "these stupid lines. Again."

⊛ osamu miya

The king of groceries. He's used to doing this two, or three times a week, and it never gets boring. The experience has made him smarter about where and when it is best to buy, plus he has a good eye when it comes to product quality and price. So yeah, you have almost nothing to worry about when Osamu Miya is your grocery partner. Almost.

He's very chill and helpful while shopping, but you better keep a good eye on the cart: it'll get filled to the brim in one minute. When Osamu likes something, he makes a point of buying as much as he can. Once, he filled almost three entire carts, and half of one was just from rice bags. Someone might think you have a whole volleyball team as a family with the amount of food he wants to take home.

Hands on your back, shoulder, waist, any free space he has to keep you close to him – and he'll keep it there the whole time. Touch is one of his love languages, so there's no way he won't keep in contact with you.

favorite section: fruit and vegetables section, and bakery section (he loves the smell of fresh ingredients).

what you usually hear from him: "sweetheart, just one more. It'll be the last, I promise"; "hope Tsum doesn't visit us today"

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an-idyllic-novelist · 10 months

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rimuru tempest with fem!tanjiro!reader headcanons

Hey guys, welcome to another collaboration with @deathmetalunicorn1, though the credit on the concept of the pairing and these headcanons go to my dear friend. I really hope you will enjoy what we have written. If you'd like to see more content like this, or an extended version of these headcanons, please let us know!

So with that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy! :)

Although Rimuru Tempest knows his significant other and her little sister are strong, he will not stop worrying about Tanjiro!reader’s wellbeing, especially when she and Nezuko leave Tempest on a mission, and he is unable to join them for whatever reason. His anxiety will increase tenfold when his relationship with the former Demon Slayer evolved from being friends who just happened to stumble upon each other’s paths as soon as he left Veldor’s cave to being lovers.

It will be very hard for the demon lord to sleep for the first few nights when he is so used to curling up next to Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko, the latter sprawled out and almost always in her toddler form. However, when she does return, Tanjiro!reader will always bring back a souvenir from wherever she traveled to, normally a tasty treat or a cute little knick-knack she saw at a market.

[To ease his lord’s worries, Diablo will mobilize a few of the Black Numbers to keep a discreet eye on the Kamado siblings, personally delivering periodical reports on their whereabouts to Rimuru when it was an appropriate time between meetings and inspections around the capital. After all, an excellent butler must be able to anticipate his lord’s every need and alleviate his concerns so that he may continue to focus on his duties in the land. If something does happen, Diablo will act immediately and make sure Tanjiro!reader and Nezuko return to Tempest safely.]

Tanjiro!reader unwinds from her journey with a big hug from Rimuru in both his slime and human form. Rimuru would receive affection from Nezuko if she isn’t sleeping in her box in the form of bone crushing hugs or his hair being ruffled by a clawed hand. If Rimuru hadn’t eaten, she would whip a simple home-cooked meal that is either a traditional recipe from the Kamado household, or one that Mitsuri, the Love Hashira, had taught her when they were alive back in her old world.

Rimuru will definitely join in and help, even all she’ll allow him to do in the kitchen is wash the dishes.

After he had been reincarnated in this world, he took the Japanese cuisine he had eaten for granted, even the microwaveable ramen noodle cups he’d heat up in the company break room when he had to work late at the office. Back then, Misaki Satoru didn’t care much about his health so much as worried about forever remaining a virgin because he couldn’t score a date with a cute girl.

He honestly couldn’t have anything resembling his homeland’s cooking until his country was developed further, including the dwarves’ metal-working and the orcs’ infamous work ethic. He couldn’t remember how many times he had told Geld and the others to rest even when they insisted that they kept working. Now, he could share a meal and enjoy a hot bath with someone he loves very dearly.

Nezuko is, of course, welcomed to join them in the bath since she loves swimming around the large hot spring he had built in the back of his home. When she joined them, Rimuru reverted to being a slime to protect Nezuko’s innocence. If he’s alone with Tanjiro!reader, he’ll either be a slime or his human form, depending on his mood.

Speaking of which, Nezuko is the little sister everyone in Tempest adores and will be fiercely protected. Rimuru is her favorite person, but when Milim decides to stop by for a visit, she is Nezuko’s new favorite, no matter how much he bribes her with newest confections that were created or toys. But between these two….Nezuko will always pick Tanjiro!reader, if she’s an option.

Rimuru’s love language includes quality time, words of affirmation, and gift-giving. But what he enjoys the most is having afternoon tea on the porch, him sitting in her lap as a slime and munching on sticks of mitarashi dango or different flavored onigiri.

If anything happened to either Tanjiro!reader or Nezuko because an enemy nation was jealous of Tempest’s flourishing economy and thought it would be a brilliant idea to hold them hostage or try to hurt them….they had better be prepared to have another kingdom falling into ruins.

Remember what happened to Falmuth?

Taglist

@sunnyblackbird

@abelheilonwife

@nunezs-stuff

#an idyllic novelist #x reader headcanons #fem!reader #tanjiro!reader #kny x reader #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #rimuru tempest x reader #tensei shitara slime datta ken #that time i got reincarnated as a slime x reader #rimuru x reader #rimuru tempest #tensei shitara slime datta ken x reader

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rorywritesjunk · 11 months

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I will never ask you for anything, Except to dream sweet of me

Look, everyone has some kind of secret. You just didn't want Buggy to find this one out. Rating: PGish, honest. Warnings: None really. Girlfriend references making one threat. Buggy feels just a little bit insecure. A/N: I wrote this quick and had fun with it. I wanted some light hearted fluff nonsense. For once no one is having a bad day in this. Song title comes from "Heaven, Iowa" by Fall Out Boy.

Whenever you knew Buggy would be gone for several nights in a row on raids, pillages, and whatever he did when he was gone for nights on end, you made sure you had your own way of coping with missing him. It was hard not having him around in bed to keep you company because hey, you loved that silly guy, but you also had your own needs, and one of those needs was tucked in a box in your side of the wardrobe underneath some shoes. He never looked there because you always put away the laundry, so whenever he was gone you made sure to sneak it out and keep it in bed with you.

You expected him to be gone for four nights total, which was perfect because you knew if he discovered what you had he may be offended or mortified that you used it as a substitute for him. Buggy was sensitive about certain things, you have known this, which is why it was a secret. You never told him what you bought during one of your grocery runs. You couldn’t help it when you saw it. You needed it.

Again, four nights. Buggy wouldn’t be back for four nights. That was fine with you, but what you didn’t expect was him to show up on the third night as a surprise.

It was late when he showed up in your shared quarters. He was a little disappointed to find you asleep, but he took notice that you were in one of his shirts and on his side of the bed, even using his pillow. He tossed his jacket over the back of a chair and set his captain’s hat on the seat before making his way over to you. You had the covers pulled up to your nose as you slept, looking adorable and peaceful.

Yea, he was definitely going to wake you up because he wanted a kiss.

He pulled the covers back and leaned down, only to freeze when he saw what was clutched to your chest.

“What the fuck is that?” He demanded, waking you up from your slumber. Your head was spinning from the sudden wakeup call and it took you a moment to realize he was standing there.

“Buggy!” You exclaimed as you tried to hide what you didn’t want him to see under the blankets, but he was too fast, snatching it out of your hands as he held it out at arms length, looking a little horrified. “Let me explain!”

“Where did you even get this?!”

“Buggy!”

“I don’t… what is this?!”

“I miss you when you’re gone!” You told him as you scrambled out of bed to try and snatch it from him. He held it out of your reach. “I bought it at the market, okay? Some little old lady was making them!”

He stared at the little plushy that weirdly resembled him, from the orange captain’s hat all the way to his nose. Buggy touched the plushy carefully, turning it over as he inspected it before touching the nose. “Who made this?”

“She based them off wanted posters. She's made a bunch of different pirates.” You huffed as you finally snatched it from him. “I just miss you when you’re gone, so I bought it, but I was embarrassed and didn’t want you to get weirded out, okay?” You poked him hard in the chest accusingly. “And you said you’d be gone for four nights, Buggy! Why are you home a night early? I didn’t want you to know about this!”

“We finished early.” He said, his eyes never leaving the little plushy in your hands. “And I missed you.”

You pouted at him. “Well, I missed you too. I always miss you. So I have this little Buggy to hold while I think of you, but I’m never going to ask you to stay when you gotta go do stuff, okay?”

“That’s not to replace me, right?” He asked, pointing at it.

“What? No!” You told him. “I’d never replace you!”

He reached for it and you hesitated for a moment before handing it over to him. You didn’t want him to wreck it because you adored it, but you also didn’t want him to be too weirded out by it. “Look, if you really don’t like it, I’ll get rid of it…”

“No, I don’t want you to get rid of it.” He said as he looked it over again. The construction of it was pretty durable, and the clothes were made to come off if desired. He touched the nose, finding it held on by just a few stitches. He frowned at that.

You hesitated when you saw he noticed that little detail. “I told her she needed to add your nose. She… didn’t include it when I picked it up so I told her to add it or else.”

“Or else?” He glanced up at you with a bit of a smirk. “Threatening old ladies now, babe?”

“It wasn’t you without the nose, Buggy!” You shot back as your cheeks flushed, both from the slight embarrassment of this whole situation and from recalling the conversation with the old woman. “She didn’t think it was necessary and we argued, and finally I told her to add the nose or else she wouldn’t have a booth anymore.” You huffed. “I may have overreacted, but I love it.”

He flicked the nose of the toy before handing it back over to you. “Keep it on your nightstand if you want, I guess.”

You took it back and gave it a hug. “Really?”

“However, If I catch you hugging it while I’m home and in bed with you then I’m torching it.” He warned you.

“Ass.” You retorted with a grin. “I love you.”

“Yea, whatever.” He muttered as he took it out of your hands and tossed it on the bed before grabbing you and pulling you in for a kiss. He mumbled against your lips, “Love you too, babe.”

btw if you've never seen the Buggy plushy this is what inspired this because I bought it and it's so ridiculously cute.

#buggy the clown #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x reader #buggy opla #buggy x you #buggy one piece #buggy the clown x you #opla buggy

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biteofcherry · 11 months

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Okay, I lied. It's me again! 🫠🤤🥵

Since Kindergarten Teacher!Ari Levinson got paired up with a nice Aunt to a cute niece, what kind of pairings would the following have in that same Kindergarten School? How would they meet up and how would they hook up?

1) Administration Officer!Lloyd Hansen - He's also in-charge of the Secretaries, Nurses, Receptionist, etc.

2) Maintenance Coordinator!Curtis Everett - He's in-charge of the Bus Drivers/Supervisors, Utilities, Security Guards, etc.

3) Principal!Steve Rogers - He's in-charge of Academics and Administration

4) Accountant!Bucky Barnes - crunching numbers

5) Public Relations Officer!Ransom Drysdale - includes Marketing

6) CEO/KG Consultant!Andy Barber - He's the head honcho

7) Kindergarten Teacher!Nick Fowler

I don't know if you're aware, but I've been naming you evil goblin Anon. Turns out the goblin is occasionally a softie, who doesn't only want to see me suffer 😜

In reference to kindergarten teacher Ari.

Under the cut because my reply turned out long. Also some of these are fucking hilarious 😂 really, better not be drinking when you read it, especially Lloyd and Nick 🤣

Lloyd - of course he's in charge of all the secretaries, receptionists and nurses, I bet he has a different one for every day of the week (weekends included) 😎 He likes to undo buttons on women's clothes, but loves to push buttons even more. And what a better opportunity than meeting with an OSHA inspector! In reality, Lloyd makes sure everything is perfect when it comes to regulations, nothing needs to be improved, but he just loves the faces you make when he plays a careless asshole. His smirk when you stare at him, unsure if he was joking or being serious about leaving some wires for the kids to play with. At the end of inspection Lloyd makes a comment that usually after being poked and probed at the doctor's he gets a lollipop, but what you'll give him instead after your probing 🤣 Lloyd instantly knows he hit the jackpot with you, when he said in a low tone "I've never violated OSHA regulations at work, but I can violate you a bit later, if you want me to, Sunshine" and you moaned.

Curtis - Your catering company is newly hired to prepare meals for the kids of that kindergarten. The staff can also get the meals, but you've noticed Curtis never joins others at the time of meal. You've made some inquiries, if perhaps his meal wasn't paid in advance, but it turned out it was, he just ate it much much later (apparently after everyone was gone). So one day, after helping out dishing out all the food to hungry kiddos and the staff, you take Curtis' portion and go around looking for him. You find him in the far corner of the playground, sitting in the sun and eating a small sandwich. Turns out, Curtis avoids shared meals, because he's aware the kids are a bit scared of him (he's big, dressed in dark clothes which often get dirty from all the maintenance work he does, and has some visible scars). So he eats alone and later takes his catering portion back home. Somehow, since that day, you end up sharing lunch with Curtis. And one day he asks, if you'd maybe like to also eat dinner with him. In a restaurant.

Steve - gets me, because I said so 😏 Seriously, tho. Steve ends up with a doctor/nurse. It's a completely outside of kindergarten meeting, however it's because of the kindergarten. Steve ends up in your ER after getting into a fight with one of the fathers (it was a complete mess, Andy almost went completely gray because of it). When he tells you he got into a fight you almost roll your eyes, because you're so done with aggressive men. But then he mentions he punched a kid's father after learning he was abusing his kids. And he didn't care if he was going to lose his job, he doesn't tolerate any bullies, but especially ones hurting children. It wasn't a part of medical treatment, but you were ready to suck his dick right then and there. Instead, you offered him lunch (and went down on him afterwards...)

Bucky - he's a nerdy, focused, hot as fuck cutie who ends up with a fellow cute, nerdy accountant. You managed to get into kindergarten's accountant on internship, though they usually hire only Bucky. He's half your colleague, half mentor and 100% the hero of your needy dreams. There's occasional flirting, but Bucky won't cross the line as long as you're an intern. So you spend your working hours being dutiful, but also talking over your passions or new discoveries, or funny stories. You kinda meet Bucky's sister, because she tends to call at least once a week and he just puts her on speaker - which led to you occasionally joining their conversations. Then in the evening you lie in bed and get yourself off, imagining Bucky. Then your internship ends and it's almost heartbreaking that you won't get to see him daily. Bucky asks if you'd like to do a small send-away, which ends up just the two of you in a nice restaurant and then a stroll and ice cream, and then you losing count of your orgasms.

Ransom - I never even thought kindergartens have PR officers. If it's a private one then I get it, I guess. But I don't think Steve would run a private one, so we just going to assume Ransom does marketing for them as an annoying favor (while also having his main job for a different company). Still, pro-bono or not, Ransom is adamant on maintaining his level of professionalism, which means his level of snobbish. You're a single mom who is very engaged and critical. Steve doesn't have to rein Ransom in, because you're there, marching into his office with complaints about making the new website of the affordable kindergarten look as if it was for upper class only. There are a few other occasions when you clash with him, until the annual kids' photoshoot comes. You're ready to argue with Ransom again, expecting him to organize some snobbish royal type of stiff photoshoot, but instead it's a carefree, happy chaos at a mini zoo. And Ransom is there in simple jeans and softest looking sweater, holding a fucking baby goat. You bluntly propose him sex, because you really really felt like fucking him. What starts as a few hot booty calls turns into something more serious.

Andy - poor Andy needs someone to help him survive this kindergarten from hell that he's running. The kids are great, but his staff is causing him gray hair 😂 You meet Andy when you write your dissertation and set up a meeting with him to talk about economics in educational systems. During your interview Andy notices that while you ask very smart questions, you seem bored by it all. It's quite unprofessional, but you admit to him that you chase your degree, because you always thought you want to make a big career. But the last few years, especially since you've been visiting some kindergartens when doing research, you've found yourself longing after that - having kids, caring for them and for a household. You blurt out to Andy that you get so very excited about doing decorations and baking for the holidays and if you could that would be your daily reality. It hits a certain spark in Andy's housewife kink, but he simply comments that you can always make that dream come true after getting your degree. He also asks you to give him a call when your paper is finished. And you actually do. You're so proud and happy (including being happy that it's over), then Andy invites you to dinner. Few months later you end up married and pregnant and happy to stay at home.

Nick - first of all, when I thought of Nick as a teacher the only thing that came to my mind was:

🤣🤣🤣

seriously, I bet he's the one teaching kids about secondary locations

So I went with that thought. Nick is a teacher, but not of one group of kids. He's hired to do safety drills and teach how to call an ambulance, or what to do if you know something bad is happening to another kid. He's also there when groups go on trips. But he occasionally can be too cool about it, aka too brusque. Kids love it, but you - a fellow teacher - try to keep him in line. At a kindergarten's funfair, where Nick helps kiddos throw balls to dunk principal Rogers, you eat too much funnel cake (well, you tell yourself later it's because of all the sugar) and drag Nick into an empty classroom for a quickie (insert a joke about taking him to a secondary location🤣)

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assortedseaglass · 1 year

Text

We Have This Hope - II

Osferth x Lady-in-Waiting

[Masterlist]

Summary: Aefry heard much talk about young monk who joined Uhtred's ranks. When he rescues her lady, the King's own daughter, and appears at her door, Aefry finds her interest far from quelled. Instead, it is piqued tenfold.

Story Tags: Fluff, Slow Burn, Mentions of Violence, Strong Language, Religious Guilt, Smut

In the days that followed Aethelflaed’s return, the city was awash with chatter about the rag-tag troupe of warrior men. Many had only heard tales of the men, of their leader’s clashes with the King, and of the brash Gael and stoic Dane that accompanied him wherever he went. Of the young monk that appeared at Aethelflaed’s door, however, Aefry knew nothing more than when they had first met.

Indeed, such was the relief that Aethelflaed had returned, talk of Uhtred’s newest recruit, and his status as the King’s bastard, had dwindled from a simmer to little more than a stir. It wasn’t until a trip to the market, a day or so later, that Aefry heard mention of his name.

Since her return, Aethelflaed had spent much time in the company of her mother, and so Aefry and the other ladies were needed only when the King, Lady Aelswith or Aethelred were otherwise engaged. Saeflaed used her free days to visit her family. Adburh, whose own family lived in the very south of Wessex, spent her time at the market searching for threads and fabric fresh from the monastery. Aefry, with no family of her own, more often than not spent it in the meadows surrounding the castle, or else in a cabinet that Aethelflaed assured her no-one would use. This day however, Adburh insisted she didn’t want to be alone and so Aefry followed her into the stalls of the market.

It was full of the usual traders. Women selling dried herbs and woollen shawls, men flogging simple woodwork and crops. Adburh was her usual serious self, though Aefry was content to spend the day with her.

Many misunderstood her friend. Though she was only a few years older than Aefry and Saeflaed, Adburh had seen much in those years. Her hometown succumbed to fire, not by raiders but by mistake; the drunken keeper of the inn neglected the hearth and his fire spread from home to home, killing himself and many other, including Adburh’s father who slept in a drunken stupor. Homeless, she and her mother were taken into the care of a local abbey. Appalled by men’s idleness, the innkeeper’s and her husband’s, Adburh’s mother took the veil and committed herself to a life of religious servitude. Adburh, though her attitude suited it, was not inclined to become a nun like her mother. No, she spent her time sneaking from the abbey grounds to speak to those of the town, learning all she could from everyone she could. Sensing her daughter’s desire for education and worried about her continuing escapades, Adburh’s mother spoke to the abbess. Soon, they were Wintancaester bound, answering Lady Aelswith’s request for young women to attend her daughter.

Aefry wouldn’t forget the dark stare the red-headed Adburh gave her when they each entered the hall in turn before the King and his lady wife. Nor would she forget the way Adburh gripped her hand tightly when their guardians left them in the charge of the royal household.

Whereas Aefry had spent her time in the convent’s care reading or exploring the land surrounding Wintancaester, in the south, Adburh had learnt to weave. She arrived at court with few possessions, her makeshift loom and best needlework her pride and joy. Aefry watched her friend inspect the fabric from the monastery, a great fondness keeping her warm on the crisp morning.

“You have something in mind, Adburh?” Aefry watched her run her hands along some sheep’s wool.

“A cowl, perhaps. Or some hose.”

Aefry made a gentle noise of understanding and raised her eyebrows. “A cowl? With this wool?” She picked up the dark grey material. “Has the one you made last year perished? Or is it in fact for a dashing Dane-”

Adburh whipped around and covered Aefry’s mouth. “You saw what he wears. Winter approaches and he wears leathers with no sleeves and no scarf, cloak of fur to speak of.”

Aefry took Adburh’s hand from her mouth and held it. “I shan’t tell.”

“And not Saeflaed,”

“Certainly not Saeflaed,”

Though Aefry was the youngest of Aethelflaed’s ladies, you would be mistaken in thinking it was Saeflaed. A golden-haired child of spring, buxom and bonny, she was admired wherever she went. That she too admired the men adoring her was not a point spoken amongst the friends and their lady, but was the source of great enjoyment and furtive glances between each.

It was not only Saeflaed’s womanly figure that delighted all, but her bright manner. Any room was illuminated by her smile, her countenance was warm, and she spoke freely and gaily to all. Where Adburh was serious, Saeflaed was merry. Adburh was studious, Saeflaed was flighty. Aefry wondered for a moment where that left her. A middling mixture of neither here nor there. Plain, she supposed.

Adburh suddenly gripped her arm. “Not a word, Aefry!”

“I told you I wouldn’t, Adbu-”

A golden mass of hair appeared between the two of them. “What have you there, Adburh?”

Adburh froze, for behind Saeflaed were Uhtred’s two right-hand men. The Gael and the Dane. Aefry raised herself on tiptoe, looking around the pair to see if the youngest of their party had joined them. Seeing that the monk was absent, she stilled, shame flushing her cheeks.

Adburh hastily stashed the wool in her basket and held it behind her back. Thankful of a distraction, Aefry took a step closer to her and took the basket from her hands.

“Wool,” she stated simply. “My winter shawl is tattered beyond fixing, and our mistress’s mother would have many an unkind word if she saw its state. Adburh kindly offered to make me a new one. Her skills are far greater than mine,” she added with a smile to the two men.

“You could make something for our boy,” the Gael said to Adburh, slapping the Dane on the back. He said nothing, yet the corners of his mouth twitching a little as he looked at the women. “Lord knows this will not help come Winterfylleth.” Sihtric shoved him.

“Y-y-yes.” Adburh nodded, her eyes wide as the Dane stared down at her.

“Aefry, Adburh,” Saeflaed stepped forward. “This is Finan and Sihtric.” Adburh curtsied a little awkwardly and Aefry held out her hand. Both men took it, Finan the Gael kissing it, Sihtric covering it with his own.

“Your reputations precede you, my lords.” Aefry smile gently. As Finan laughed, Aefry shuffled closer to Saeflaed. “And how did you come by these men?”

Saeflaed batted her beautiful eyelashes at Aefry. “I may have passed the tavern on my way home from father’s.”

“What a blessing,” Aefry whispered and Saeflaed giggled. Adburh’s eyes still lingered on Sihtric, though it seemed the Dane was either used to this or had not noticed. The three women turned back to the two men and Aefry found her voice again.

“Where is your companion? The monk?”

At that, Sihtric’s bicoloured eyes fell upon her. So too, did Adburh and Saeflaed’s. She swallowed, unnerved by the slightest degree. “You know Osferth?” The Dane said.

“No,” Aefry’s voice fell quiet, thinking fast so as not to expose the monk’s, nor Aethelflaed’s, secret. So as not to expose the King’s shame. “As I said, your reputations precede you.”

“The monk has been with us for all of five minutes and he already has a reputation to match ours,” Finan muttered.

“It was our Lady, actually, who told me,” Aefry was overwhelmed with the urge to defend the monk. To tell everyone what he had done. “That he was the one who killed Sigefrid.”

Adburh and Saeflaed gasped. “’Tis true,” Finan said. “Flung himself on the bastard’s back, forgive me, and drove his sword through his spine.”

Adburh gasped once again. Saeflaed took a step closer to Finan and held onto his arm, feigning faintness. Aefry, however, stared between them.

“How awful,” she whispered. “And-and-and where is he?”

“The chapel,” Sihtric said. “Every day since, he prays.”

“Poor lamb,” murmured Saeflaed, still clinging on to Finan’s arm.

“I know Uhtred has us teaching the monk,” Finan whispered to Sihtric, looking at the three worried women before them. “But perhaps he could teach us something?” The pair guffawed.

For the rest of that day, and the next, Aefry looked in every chapel and church she could find.

Hurrying at first light to the keep’s chapel, she ducked her head past the great oak door to discover Father Beocca deep in conversation with the King. She curtsied, excused herself from the chapel and made her way to Lady Aelswith’s private sanctum. Aefry highly doubted she would find the monk there, but her curiosity still carried her feet to the private chapel. She was right.

Lady Aelswith was knelt at the small altar. She turned her head slowly as Aefry entered the dark room but said nothing.

“Forgive me, my Lady,” Aefry whispered, bowing her head. “I-I was looking for my mistress.”

“She is with her husband.” Aelswith said simply, turning back to the altar.

In the public chapel by the keep’s gates, only a few priests sat in prayer. Each old and greying, Aefry moved on. She even walked so far as Icene Abbey to discover Osferth’s whereabouts.

There, she searched every dark corner and pew. By the tabernacle and the apse. She even asked the abbot. At the mention of the monk’s name, the abbot’s face darkened.

“That young man abandoned his faith, and his benefactor’s wishes, to go galivanting with a heathen. You will not find him here.”

“I do not think he has abandoned his fai-”

“You will not find him here.” The abbot said again, and the conversation was at an end. Weary and defeated, Aefry trudged on tired feet back to Wintancaester, the sky turning from vein blue to flame orange. Uhtred, Finan and Sihtric were frequently seen about the city and the keep. If I wait, just a few more days, Aefry thought, perhaps he shall appear.

Sunnandaeg. In the public chapel a few days later, members of the King’s household made a small congregation, seated by rank from the farthest pew to the first. Everyone from servants to council members gathered in the chapel, waiting for mass to begin as the King and his family processed towards the altar.

Aefry watched Aethelflaed, her arm draped over that of her husband, glide towards her seat. Ever the image of regal duty despite her tired eyes. The congregation bowed to her mistress, some with kindness, some with pity and, as Aefry watched the royal family pass her by, her eyes fell to the man stood at the back of the chapel, eyes downcast but still standing a head above everyone else.

A thrill shot up her spine and every hair stood to excited attention.

At first, she thought he was attempting to make himself smaller to avoid the King. It was when Father Beocca began the service by invoking the cross, however, that she saw he was already in prayer, for he was the first to kneel and the first to murmur under his breath. He was alone, the rest of Uhtred’s men notably absent, and Aefry forgot her own prayers to watch him a peaceful moment.

Saeflaed, beside her, glanced at Aefry. Usually so devout, she was staring at the back of the chapel, the mass entirely forgotten. She followed her friend’s gaze and saw the strange young monk she had been so interested in the few days previous. He killed Sigefrid? Well, each to their own, and Saeflaed did not begrudge Aefry a crush. Indeed, it thrilled her to have something to tease her over. She glanced around the monk. Finan was nowhere to be seen and, with slight sadness, Saeflaed faced the altar once more.

Something bumped Aefry’s shoulder. Saeflaed, a small smirk on her rosebud lips. Aefry turned back to Father Beocca. She tried to follow the service, bowing her head when Beocca instructed and kneeling when the others knelt, but her mind was not on the Lord. No, it was on the lonely warrior monk five pews behind.

“Mass has ended, go in peace.” Father Beocca had barely finished speaking before the King turned to leave the chapel. Naturally, his mood in the days following Aethelflaed’s return had been stony, and many an hour had been spent locked in discussion with his council, to which he was no doubt returning. The congregation waited for the family to leave, and Aefry looked over her shoulder once more to watch the monk.

He was gone.

She cast her eyes desperately around, but they fooled her; many holy men of the congregation sported that ridiculous hair, but not one was her monk. Her monk. She shook herself and, with Adburh and Saeflaed, followed her mistress from the chapel.

The day was bright yet the air was damp and dewy. Rain would come before nightfall. She bade farewell to her companions and mistress, curtsied before the King and Lady Aelswith, and stepped into the morning. Like a fish through water, she moved amongst the crowd.

Priests were gathered around Father Beocca, discussing his sermon. She had thought to find him there, but she was wrong.

“Aefry?” Beocca stepped through the crowd of men. “You have not been at chapel as often of late. Are you well?” He took in her knitted eyebrows and agitated manner. The gentlewoman before him huffed a smile.

“Quite well, thank you, Father. I thought I saw someone at mass, an old friend, and am eager to find them. Excuse me,”

Onwards she went, past gossiping noble ladies, haggling merchants, and even Uhtred’s bonny-faced right hand man. Fingal? Was that his name? Still, she could not see the warrior monk and all hope of finding him faded. Jostled by commonfolk going about their daily business, Aefry turned to make her solemn way to the keep but halted where she stood. There! Towards the town stables, hands raised to avoid bumping into the crowds, that was definitely him.

“Sir,” she called out, gathering her skirts in her hands. “Sir! Please wait!” She hurried as fast as she could, for ladies-in-waiting did not run and it would not do for such gossip to reach Lady Aelswith. Whether he ignored her intentionally or could not hear her over the din of the crowd, she did not know but pressed on regardless, thanking the Lord for his height as she kept him in her sight. A few more strides and she could reach out and touch him…

“Sir!” Breathless with the effort of her hurried steps to catch up with his strides, she reached out and clasped the edge of his cowl. “Sir-”

The man jolted and looked to his sleeve, his gaze following the delicate hand there to the lady’s face. An emotion she didn’t recognise glazed his eyes, but all the same, with a blush he smiled timidly. She dropped his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I did call,”

“I’m not a ‘Sir’, I am-”

“‘Just Osferth’, yes.” Aefry smiled, then realised he may not recognise her, covered as she was by her Sunnandaeg veil. “We met the a few days past, when you came to my lady’s chamber?”

“Yes, yes,” the monk rasped and cleared his throat. After all he has done, she thought, and he is still shy. “Should you not be with her?”

“No, on the Lord’s Day we are left to do as we please.” She was desperate to speak with him. “My lady spends it with her mother.”

“I am glad to see she is well. Lady Aethelflaed, I mean-”

“Yes.” Neither said anything, and Just Osferth watched, torn between amusement and embarrassment, as the noble lady stood before him and directed her smile at him alone.

“Forgive me,” he said, his lips curving in one corner. “Was there some service you require of me, my Lady?”

It was Aefry’s turn to blush, and Just Osferth liked the sight of it beneath her veil. “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I, um, I just wanted to say that she told me who you are, my Lady, and what you did.” She paused as the monk’s face fell. “That- that was very brave,” she finished with a whisper. The monk’s eyes fell to the ground and one hand brushed the cross at his chest.

“It didn’t feel very brave,” His voice was small, and Aefry found she wanted to see his smile again. She carried on in forceful tone.

“To leave your life at the monastery, join the service of a famed warrior, despite the ridicule it may bring you, and then slay the brute Sigefrid? To me, that is brave.”

If Just Osferth had been pink before, at her words of praise he turned crimson. “Thank you, my Lady.” Again, they watched each other, this time in an awkward but pleasant silence. Something about this lady’s curiosity of him made the monk feel that emotion he found most elusive; pride.

“How long do you plan to stay in Wintanaester?” Aefry said, eyes alive and hopeful.

“As long as Lord Uhtred pleases.”

“Then,” Aefry’s smile was gentle as she spoke. “I hope it pleases him to stay a while.” And without another word, she bowed to the monk and departed.

He watched her go, her veil billowing against her tunic in the passing breeze, and people parting with good-natured smiles as she passed. A hand slapped him on the back.

“What’s the matter?” Compared to the lady’s, the Irishman’s brogue was like a carnyx. “Never had a pretty girl talk to you before?”

The monk swallowed, his eyes still on the retreating form of his sister’s lady-in-waiting. “I’ve certainly never had one bow to me.”

Notes: I think there will be two more parts before this goes beyond the end of Steadfast & Forever. Thanks for the love recently and I’m sorry if I haven’t replied to anyone – it’s been a bit bonkers.

Cabinet = a small study

Winterfylleth = October

Tags: @arcielee @babyblue711 @elizarbell @chilling-in-my-head @skikikikiikhhjuuh @fan-goddess @sylas-the-grim @theoneeyedprince @ewanmitchellcrumbs @targaryenrealnessdarling @doomwhathouwilt @gemini-mama @myfandomprompts @bcon24 @humanpurposes @wise-owl @bookwyrmsblog

#ewan mitchell #osferth #osferth x oc #osferth x reader #osferth x aefry #the last kingdom #tlk #aethelflaed #finan #sihtric

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scammydoesstuff · 13 days

Text

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Thoughts I NEED to Talk About

So I've now seen Beeltejuice Beetlejuice three times - and it prolly won't be the last cuz I love it. I love it so much. It brings me such immense joy. The haters can fuck themselves. This movie delighted me, regardless of the problems I have with it (and I do have problems with it; they just do not ruin the movie for me on any level).

But now that I've refreshed myself (again), there's something stupidly specific that I need to talk about and I cannot wait any longer than I already have. Including a ridiculous conspiracy theory about a connection to the musical that I desperately want to believe in even though I know that wasn't the intent.

So let's begin! Spoilers ahead, of course, so tread carefully if you've not seen the film.

Basically, there are a few things in this movie that I think were inspired by or were at least a nod to the musical. I don't think there are any real references to the cartoon past the overall vibes, which did remind me of the cartoon a lot - particularly the on-screen chemistry between Lydia and Betelgeuse. Like, I know he's trying to marry her in this and that's not at all a thing in the cartoon, but their banter with each other gave me the same vibes as watching the cartoon here and there, which was fun to see. Like, the part where he's 'inspecting' the Handbook for the Recently Deceased after Lydia summons him (I did say there'd be spoilers) in particular gave me detective BJ vibes from the episode 'A-Ha!' where he masquerades as 'Sherlock Homely'. It's all in the tone and it was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kinda moment, but that's a specific example that comes to mind at least.

The musical, however, I do feel they're drawing inspiration from to a degree. From nearly opening the movie on the death of one of Lydia's parents (this time the dad instead of the mom for...obvious reasons. Fuck that guy, btw), to the meta aspects where the B-man has been doing, like, Instagram/TikTok reels for the marketing, there are just things in and around this movie that feel like a small and subtle acknowledgement of the musical. And I know that other companies are likely trying to capitalize on TikTok/Instagram as marketing ploys, but it feels very on-brand for Beetlejuice specifically given how the musical blew up in no small part because of the TikToks they were putting out while they were still performing on Broadway.

But back to the movie. There's also that story Astrid tells Jeremy about her dad dressing her as Edvard Munch's 'The Scream' for Halloween when she was in second grade. It reminded me, at least, of the musical when Lydia was enthusiastically talking to the Maitland's about her mother's own eccentric haunted house in the middle of summer. Even the way Jenna Ortega delivers her lines in the film felt reminiscent of the delivery in the musical.

After Deliah has died and she calls on Betelgeuse for help, he mentions how she wants to hang out with him now that she's dead. I know it's a pretty big stretch to compare that to the musical's 'We didn't hang out much' line as BJ is saying his goodbyes, but the specific wording just gave me pause and I wanted to mention it.

Okay! And now for the stupid conspiracy theory I mentioned cuz I can't think of any other specific moments that made me think of the musical outside of this one I'm about to get into. If you noticed any, however, let me know! This is fun to think about and gives me more to look for when I go to see it again.

Anyway, if you've seen the movie (and I hope you have if you're still reading this), you're surely aware of the wedding scene near the end and all the lip-syncing to MacArthur Park which was just...*chef's kiss*. At one point during that sequence, while Betelgeuse is dancing with Lydia, the lyrics mention all the loves of [his] life. We see Delores and Lydia, of course, but then we see...this:

(Apologies for the quality. I wanted to get a shot where the dog was in frame and these were the best photos I could get in the theater and I'm too excited to wait for this to come out on streaming/home release in order to talk about it. I'm also not about to be filming in the theater. I just wanted to see if I could get pictures of the dog in this scene specifically.)

So, like, I know it's just a stupid bestiality joke to not be taken seriously and which is only meant to add more to the 'what-the-fuckery' of this scene, but, as a fan of the musical, I cannot help but see this as a super deep cut reference to the goodest boi in the whole world. Alex Brightman's beloved pup; Kevin.

Hell, the dog in the movie even bears a very close resemblance to Kevin. It's not one-to-one, of course - the coloring around the ears in particular is a big enough difference on its own - but they could've gone with any breed of dog. They could've even gone with photos of the dog that accidentally killed the Maitlands, thereby introducing Betelgeuse to Lydia in the first place. It would've been a little bit more fanservice for the fans who might catch that reference too. But they chose one that looks very similar to Alex Brightman's pride and joy?

And no, by the way, I'm not implying Alex has that kind of relationship with his dog. That's ridiculous and I do not want anyone to get that twisted. However, love doesn't have to mean 'sexual' or 'romantic' and I would argue to hell and back that Kevin is one of the major loves in his life that doesn't fall into either of those categories. That's his precious baby boy and we all see that clear as crystal. I mean, look at them:

[Photos of Kevin & Alex courtesy of kevin_kontent on Instagram. Follow them for more delightful Kevin posts]

But yeah, that's where the conspiracist in me comes out because, again, while I know that wasn't the intent, I want so badly to believe it was. Because that'd be such a funny little reference and it makes me smile to think that they might be referencing my favorite Beetlejuice through Alex and Kevin. I recognize that's not at all the case and they probably weren't thinking about the musical in the slightest during the production of the film. Hell, that's such a contrived way to look at it in general, but it's fun to think about and to imagine that they were paying these little homages to another production that helped breathe even more life into this franchise about death.

Anyway, so yeah. Just a real stupid bit of bullshit that I wanted to get out there. I'm prolly not even the first person to notice/point this out, but I just wanted to talk about it and get it outta my brain.

Now I'mma go crawl back into my hole and try and finish a drawing I've been working on for the last week (that may or may not be Beetlejuice-related). I got an iPad earlier this year and I'm still getting the hang of drawing with it. Gonna for sure go back to my older drawing tablet when I open up commissions again because it genuinely takes me so much longer to draw with Procreate, but for now, just trying to practice drawing something with an art program I'm still learning to use.

#scammy talks #shut up scammy chan #Beetlejuice #Betelgeuse #Beetlejuice Beetlejuice #Beetlejuice movie #Beetlejuice Musical #Michael Keaton #Alex Brightman #Kevin Brightman #I noticed p much all of these the first time I watched the movie as well #but I wanted to wait till I could gather my thoughts before talking about any of it #cuz my brain be scrambled and bad at thinking #but we were literally in the theater for our first showing and I nearly cried out 'omg it's Kevin!!' when this scene happened

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oharamwah · 1 year

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♡☆— a secret ? : your life-long partner has been keeping a big secret from you about his career. → 2.3k

read pt. two → it’s not a onsie

husband!miguel o’hara x fem!reader

contents : au!miguel, florist!reader, sliiiightly ooc (he never had gabi), slight gore? (i kinda just describe injuries miguel has),

posted july 22nd - to be edited !

like any other day, you sat in your living room mindlessly listening to the tv blaring a brain frying romance reality show. you already ate dinner, though today you ate alone. despite the tv playing and the dishwasher running, the house was quiet.

‘he’s usually home by now, this is the fourth time this week.’ you thought.

your husband, miguel, worked at alchemax, the biggest scientific research company in all of new york. he was always so dedicated to his job, always giving it his all, but you are his wife. he always made time for you. you are his world. right?

new york, new york - 2089

6:03 pm : you run a small floral shop in new york right on the edge of broadway street. flowers are your favourite thing in the world — they’re so beautiful without even trying. you sat down, ready to take your first break of the day. a bad storm had hit the city the previous night and completely ruined your outdoor setup. what used to be a lovely arrangement of wooden shelves bathing in different floral collections you gardened became a mess of buckets, paper wrappings and loose flower petals. so, you spent the entirety of the day cleaning up and gathering the remains of your flowers.

you dusted your hands off on your apron and collapsed into your chair, a deep sigh following after. you closed your eyes and settled into relaxation, but suddenly..

door chime

your eyes jolt open. ‘seriously? the shop is open all day and no one comes in until now?’

you got up anyway. before your eyes at the entrance of the shop is a man. a tall man, nearly as tall as the door itself. he must’ve had to crouch to get in. he had messy brown hair, reddish-brown eyes, and a small scar on his left cheek.

you greeted him sweetly as he walked towards the counter and flashed a handsome smile, his canines slightly pointy. “evening,” he said politely, leaning one elbow on the counter. “i need a bouquet.” he said. duh. “well, you came to the right place,” you replied. “what kind of flowers are we looking for?”

the man thought for a second before sheepishly asking for advice.

“actually, they’re for my mother. i’m not very good at flowers or gifts, but it’s her birthday tomorrow.”

you gawk at this. ‘awww how sweet. does this mean he’s on the market??’ you thought. “oh, well, do you know her favourite colour?” you ask. “hm.. i know she likes pink. and yellow.”

you nod and walk past the counter, past the tall handsome man, and take a look around the shop. you come across a patch of pink dahlias and an idea pops into your head.

“might i suggest these lovely things? they make lovely centre pieces in assorted bouquets.” you say, your mouth curving into a smile as you make eye contact with the beautiful stranger. he smiles back. you hold up one of the flowers and he takes it into his hand, inspecting it as if it were some oddly creature — it was a flower. he rose the flower to his nose to smell it and his eyes closed in delight. he opened his eyes and looked into yours. ‘god his gaze is intense.’

“perfect.” he said with a small smile.

he had a certain look to him. not skeevy, not overbearing, he just looked good. now, not in an attractive sense (although that was definitely something that was on your mind) but in a human way — something about this man and his demeanour screamed “i’m a good man with a good heart who loves deeply.”

and at the time, little did you know, but the man thought nothing less of you. he knew for certain the second he saw you: that first visit to your floral shop would not be the last.

by the time miguel got home, it was already 4 o’clock in the morning. to say you were upset was an understatement.

yes, you were still awake, but only a little. you lay in bed scrolling on your phone as your eyelids weigh down on themselves, your brain fighting to keep them open. the idea of making sure miguel got home safe was the only thing keeping you up. and then, you hear the familiar sound of the door unlocking, followed by the kicking of boots and the dropping of a briefcase. miguel grunts.

in this moment you are livid. your husband has come home late in the past, yes, but never this late. before you know it, you’re on your feet again, awake as ever.

“miguel?” you call out as you leave the bedroom. the more you near the front door, the more you hear him panting. you get closer, and there he is. your husband is leaning against the wall, his scrunched up face showing nothing but pain. he has a few blood stains on his shirt, his hair is a disheveled mess, and the entirety expresses a deep exhaustion.

“oh my god, miguel,” you say in a sigh, rushing to him, your heartbeat picking up with every second. you grab onto his shoulders to support him from falling. “miguel, dios mío what happened to you??” you pleaded. “y/n,” he said in an exhale, “you should be asleep, my love.”

you couldn’t believe him. first, he comes home late. second, he’s clearly injured. and third, he’s completely ignoring the fact that he is injured.

“miguel..” he refuses to look at you. he can’t. “miguel look at me.” you say sternly, your voice slightly louder than normal.

miguel is convinced that in your entire marriage, and in the whole 11 years of you two knowing each other, you never raised your voice when you don’t have to. parties? sure. calling miguel down for dinner? of course. but when you’re upset with him? never.

miguel looks up at you, breathing heavily. his eyes are worn and weak. in this moment, he feels ashamed.

“what happened, miguel?” you said in a whisper, cupping his face in your hand. “who hurt you..” your other hand reaches his chest, his quick heartbeat along with the warmth of his skin seeping through his blood stained shirt. your faces were inches away, miguel could feel your breath on his nose. he only looked at you.

“miguel, please. talk to me.”

by now you were more desperate than upset with him. all you wanted was to make sure he was okay. you and your husband aren’t the kind to keep secrets from each other. anything and everything about yourselves, the other could recite the fact in their sleep. so what happened this time? what’s been happening this week to make miguel think he had to hide and come home at ungodly hours? let alone covered in his own blood?

you reached for the buttons of his shirt and slowly undid them, and what was revealed shattered you. miguel’s chest was painted with scratches, and one big gash right across the middle. he could only look down with embarrassment. it was hard for him to know you were seeing him in this state.

the most that’d happen to him at work is a small cut on his hand that he’d play off as a paper cut, or even red eyes that he’d blame on being around too many chemicals. he was your strong husband, your miguel who never felt any pain, or showed it. him being this vulnerable infront of you made his heart clench. he never wanted you to see, to know. but this was inexcusable. he knows today is the day.

“y/n,” he said, breaking his silence. “cariño.”

he looks at you, for the first time in what felt like hours.

“i haven’t been good to you, and i know that.” he admits. “and i know that i’ve been coming home late, and dismissing your concerns when i do,” he takes your hand and gently holds it. “miguel-“ you start, but he interrupts you.

“my love, i hope you know i mean well. i only want to be good to you.” he assures you, almost begging for you to hear him out.

“i know that baby but-“ “but today is different, i know.”

you’re at a loss for words. on one hand, you’re extremely confused; where on earth is he going with this? but on the other hand, all you want is to kiss him, clean him up and go to bed.

“mi reina, i haven’t been 100% truthful with you. about my job.” he states. “i..”

miguel pauses, trying to think of the tamest way to tell you the truth without sugar coating it. “you..?” you say, getting impatient.

“i’m not just a scientist at alchemax.” he looks at your lips and back into your eyes. “what, you’re a shitty hit-man too?” you say, half joking, half serious. ‘dios bueno is going on..’ you think. “no.” he says in a sigh, “no i’m.. i’m..” “what is it miguel please..”

and then he says it.

“i’m spiderman.” he looks at you.

“you know, that guy that’s always on the news?”

“oh.. you’re.. you’re… are you serious?” you let go of him. miguel nods. he isn’t surprised, he knew this wasn’t easy information digest.

the news stories didn’t exactly show is best side either. sure, he helped people, but he’s killed people too. out of malice? no, definitely not. but for the sake of the civilians? give or take a few. and miguel knew exactly what you thought of vigilante types.

“i just wish they didn’t hurt anyone at all,” he recalled you saying one evening. “this spider guy would be a lot better in my eyes if he just saved a kitty stuck in a tree once in a while.” to which miguel would get defensive and argue that “maybe he’s doing his best not to hurt them, honey.”

it all started to make sense.

“please let me explain.”

“explain..” you say in disbelief. “oh yeah take a minute to explain this huge secret you’ve been hiding for how long?!” you exclaimed. here comes the anger once again.

“y/n, please just hear me out.”

you look at his face, and then at his wounds, and suddenly you remember who you’re yelling at.

he was stupid to lie to you. really stupid. but you love miguel, you’ve loved him since you met him that one evening in ‘89. so you cross your arms and stay quiet.

“i wanted to tell you, my love. i did. and i should’ve. but.. you just don’t understand.”

“understand what, miguel?” you ask, so quietly you’re almost certain he didn’t hear. your heart hurts.

“i kept this from you to keep you safe.” he explained, and you scoff. he can’t be serious.

“miguel-“

“i know you, cariño. i know that if you knew, you would find a way to get involved and end up getting hurt. i could lose you.” he takes a step forward and reaches out for your waist, pulling you closer. you give in.

“i’m involved regardless, miguel. i’m your wife.” you explain, desperate to show him that you care. “we’re supposed to be a team, remember?”

you’re looking up at him with teary eyes, the same eyes that miguel fell in love with years ago. miguel’s got many weaknesses with you, but your eyes have proven themselves fail proof. the way you’re looking at him makes his entire brain go fuzzy.

miguel sighs. he knows you’re right. all of a sudden, his shoulders feel 10x heavier with all the guilt he’s carrying.

“you’re..” you pause. you have to think.

“you’re spiderman,” you whisper nervously, “but you’re my miguel first.”

miguel is taken aback by this. the anger he expected, but this? he did not prepare for.

“i don’t want you to feel as if you have to hide who you are.” you gently trace the scar on his cheek. “if this is who you are,” you say, gently touching around his injuries, “i still love you miguel.”

the weight on his shoulders is lifted. he knew you loved him, but the confrontation inevitably led him to think that might not last.

he sighs, “i just don’t want to let you get hurt, my love. i could never forgive myself if i did.” he looks at you longingly.

“if i promise to stay out of it,” you grab his hand, “to stay as far away from all the danger you face..” he gives you a sorry look. “would you just trust me?”

“i love you y/n, i do trust you. you are my entire universe and more.” his usually furrowed eyebrows are softened and his heartbeat had calmed down. “and i.. i’m sorry for not telling you. for making you feel like i don’t trust you. i really do,” he leans his forehead against yours. you can feel his breath again, but this time, it’s breaths of relief.

“i forgive you, miguel.”

his eyes are deep, but you’re close enough to see that his pupils dilate at the sound of your mercy. miguel felt his body regain strength, rejuvenating itself. he leaned in to kiss you softly, so soft in fear that if he was too rough then you’d crumble away and disappear. the kiss was gentle and loving, but the feeling that lingered after was begging for more.

your eyes remain gazing at only each other and you both smile wistfully.

“whaddya say we get you cleaned up and in bed,” you say, comfortingly rubbing his shoulders. miguel chuckles.

“only if you’re gonna help me,” he said, looking at you in a way that showed he wasn’t taking no for an answer.

you jokingly roll your eyes, smiling.

“lead the way, mi héroe.”

spanish glossary :

dios mío - oh my god

dios bueno - good god

cariño - my dear, sweetie, honey

mi reina - my queen

mi héroe - my hero

#miguel ohara angst #miguel ohara x fem!reader #miguel x you #miguel spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel x y/n #miguel ohara fluff #miguel fucking o’hara #i love miguel ohara #atsv fanfiction #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel ohara oneshot #atsv oneshot #miguel ohara scenario #miguel o’hara #AHHH FIRST POST

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lord-morpheus-ravens · 1 year

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32. markets - for the soft prompts 💖

Hello! Thank you for being my first ever prompt in this fandom, ahah! Let's set this somewhere after the end of the first season...

The market was quiet when they finally reached it; subdued, in the way of half-asleep things, bright orange and deep blue, already wrapped up in the shadows of the twilight. Few were the people still perusing the stalls, and many a seller had already begun to pack up. It was in times like this, at the threshold between day and night, that the Waking most resembled the Dreaming -its contours were gentled, its sharpness held at bay by the last rays of the setting sun, its roaring crowds reduced to a handful of stragglers, hurrying home for dinner.

Dream watched the dwindling human activity for a few moments as Hob Gadling led him around the little hidden square, seemingly searching for something. Their shoulders brushed, just barely, with every odd step, and each touch (likely unvoluntary on Hob's part) pressed a breath of warmth on Dream's perpetually cold corporeal manifestation. It was... not unwelcome.

"Have I kept you from your chores?" Dream questioned, turning just so to try and meet Hob's eyes, fixed as they were on the closing stalls. "Perhaps you would have preferred coming here earlier."

Earlier, Dream had manifested into Hob's pleasantly cluttered living room, because he had found himself wanting for company and with no pressing duties to attend to; and his friend had gotten over the fright surprisingly quickly, and, accomodating as ever, had put on the kettle for tea, and offered him sweet biscuits and idle chatter and all of his space, his time, his things.

It occurred to Dream now that it was not considered polite in human society to show up unannounced to someone else's place. "I will endeavour to send word beforehand, the next time I visit."

Hob gave him an absent-minded hum and shook his head. "It's fine, dove, I didn't mind, feel free to pop in whenever," he said, and circled Dream's arm around his own so they could be of one pace, hurrying to the other end of the emptied out space. His hair, awash in the blueish light of the growing evening, looked especially soft, and Dream had to blink himself out fixing on the heavy strands, so rich and inviting. "Besides, I know you're not very fond of crowds, so..."

It was unnerving, to be so effortlessly known. But then, when it came to this particular man, to be known was to be cared for. Strange and new, Hob's stubborn crusade to make a person out of him, the way he was constantly asking after Dream's opinions, after his needs, working off the unprecedented assumption that one such as an Endless even had needs... The tension that had snapped his spine straight melted at the first hint of a smile from Hob, and as Dream allowed himself the luxory of slouching just so (just so their bodies slid a little bit closer) he contemplated the wealth of affection given freely and without reserve, and wondered.

They strolled through the quiet marketplace, all the way to the very last stand, which was, in truth, not a stand at all, but an upturned crate, a parasol and a single young woman sitting on a folding chair, who waved at Hob rather cheerfully. "Professor! I wasn't sure you'd make it in time!"

"Told you I would, my dear," Hob replied with an easy grin. Without relinquishing his hold on Dream, he leaned in to inspect the little basket on the crate. "This is Morpheus, a very old friend. Morpheus, meet Nira, one of my first graduates."

They exchanged a polite nod.

Hob huffed, giving Dream's arm a gentle squeeze. "So... Are there any left?" he asked, and then he pulled Dream in, until he was forced to bend over. "Come on, have a look."

Inside the basket were two kittens, fluffed up and fuzzy, curled one around the other as they slept swaddled in an old blanket. One bright orange, the other dappled black, they could not be older than a couple of months; as he did all dreaming beings, he knew them, that they were warm and sleepy but had been frightened earlier. That they missed their mother, and the little sisters that had been adopted earlier in the afternoon.

"My landlord is evicting them," said Nira, perhaps picking up on his consternation. "Old man was fine with one cat, not five."

Hob smiled at Dream and tapped his free hand on the basket, carefully, so the kittens didn't even stir. "I was thinking of getting a cat," he explained. "Do you want to pick one?"

Dream pursed his lips; he glanced at the two siblings, then back at his friend, his open expression, his arm that was still wrapped around Dream's own. "They would be happier together," he said, because it was true, and because surely, surely, Hob would refuse him.

Hob's smile widened, sweet in the way it brought out the lines at the corners of his eyes, and he shrugged. "Alright then, what's one more?" he mused, and turned back toward his former student. "We'll take them both. And the basket, I suppose."

#dreamling #my writing #vale writes #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dream x hob #soft asks

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afeelgoodblog · 2 years

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These are The Best News of Last Week

🎼 — Meet the Grammy of the Grammys 😊

1. Man gives $12,000 worth of classroom supplies to 150 middle school teachers

Bryan Tsiliacos has the goal of completing 30 acts of kindness before his 30th birthday, and he just completed his third on Wednesday.

2. Lab-grown meat cleared for human consumption by U.S. regulator

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for the first time cleared a meat product grown from animal cells for human consumption.

UPSIDE Foods, a company that makes cell-cultured chicken by harvesting cells from live animals and using the cells to grow meat in stainless-steel tanks, will be able to bring its products to market once it has been inspected by the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA)

Reduces emissions, reduces food and water consumption, greatly reduces the risk of foodborne illness, potentially cheaper for consumers, prevents the raising and killing of animals — this is a win all-around.

3. Police dog finds lost Michigan hunter, 80, who fell in river

An 80-year-old Michigan hunter who got lost and repeatedly fell into a river was rescued by canoe after a police dog tracked down the soaked man.

The man’s wife called Michigan State Police on Wednesday evening after her husband, failed to return home after three hours. State police said her concerns grew when she heard her husband shooting several shots, which meant he was lost, MLive.com reported. The hunter was unharmed, but cold and wet due to falling into the river three times, police said.

4. Researchers Rediscover the Black-Naped Pheasant-Pigeon, a Bird Lost to Science for 140 Years

The camera’s display was tiny, but there was no mistaking the creature it showed: the Black-naped Pheasant-Pigeon, a species that hasn’t been documented by scientists since it was first described in 1882.

“To find something that’s been gone for that long, that you’re thinking is almost extinct, and then to figure out that it’s not extinct, it feels like finding a unicorn or a Bigfoot,” says John C. Mittermeier, director of the lost birds program at American Bird Conservancy

5. Puppy Mill Rescue Dog Becomes ‘Helper Dog’ for Dogs Overcoming Trauma

Lolly was one of the over 500 under-socialized, scared dogs that the ASPCA rescued from neglectful conditions at an Iowa puppy mill in Nov. 2021, and now the canine is helping other pups.

Lolly’s journey from “nervous” puppy mill rescue to hero helper dog started last year after the ASPCA pulled Lolly from the Iowa breeding facility. Following her rescue, Lolly went to an emergency shelter operated by the ASPCA for initial exams and treatment.

6. Angela Álvarez crowned best new artist at Latin Grammys — aged 95

Cuban American, who started recording career at 90 after decades of performing for family and friends, says ‘it’s never too late’.

The Cuban American musician’s crowning moment came after decades of writing songs but performing them only for friends and family — until, at the age of 90, she went to the Avalon, the historic Hollywood nightclub, and gave her first concert.

7. Lost dog hands itself in at Loughborough Police Station

youtube

A lost dog has been reunited with its owners after walking into a police station.

CCTV footage from Loughborough Police Station captured the moment the border collie arrived and took a seat in the waiting room. Leicestershire Police staff fetched some water and gave her a fuss before calling the number on her ID tag.

Good reminder to keep a collar on your dog.

. . .

That’s it for this week. If you liked this post you can support this newsletter with a small kofi donation:

Buy me a coffee ❤️

Have a great week ahead :)

#Youtube #best news of last week

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yandere-collections · 1 year

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Since the first post about it, I am now eternally rotating Yandere Town in my mind. Lately it’s imagining how the townspeople would react if the reader was a complete recluse. There’d be clandestine watchtowers in place with a view of the readers home, and any time they left people got some equivalent of an amber alert that their darling is out and about, so be on your best behavior! Everyone working double time to make every second count should they encounter the reader, tripping over themselves to try and make enough of an impression that they just might come out more often.

The more desperate folks get dressed in blue collar outfits and pass themselves off as inspectors who “just need to take a quick look around, make sure everything’s in order.” The reader is equal parts relieved that the town takes citizen safety so seriously and confused as to why five people have showed up in the last three days, not to mention that they seem more interested in chatting than doing any work. The local government cracks down on that pretty quickly, but a few people still slip through the cracks.

Once they all get some idea of what the reader enjoys, the events going on in town get weirdly specific. Checked out a lot of horror books at the library? Big horror movie night in the gym! Spotted shopping around the farmers market? Time for the local festival with plenty of fresh pies and homemade treats! Frequently stop by a certain restaurant? What do you know, they actually throw this big feast in town every year! Crazy how it just happens to fall on the readers birthday, huh? They wouldn’t want to miss it, would they?

And since I’m a big fan of darlings who can read between the lines, the reader catching on that people are acting weird and leaving the house even less than they did when they first arrived, and turning away any unexpected visitors, even if they really are there to check on the house. Unrest sweeping through the streets because nobody’s seen them for the past month, and the leaders have to resort to drastic measures to keep the peace. The fireman chalk up the destruction of the readers entire house to be a horrible case of flawed wiring, they really should’ve let someone check that out. Nowhere to stay? Don’t be silly! Anyone in town would be happy to take them in until they have somewhere new to stay. It’s a close knit town, so expect plenty of guests! Surely the reader won’t mind, they can’t dictate such things in someone else’s home, right? :)

(Apologies for the long-ish ask, it’s just been rotting my brain and I needed to get it all out of my system. Love the stories, love you, have a wonderful day.)

YES YES YES!!! You have reached into my mind and took my exact thoughts to the point where I don't actually have much to add to this.

I definitely think being a recluse would lead to more yanderes invading your privacy, ironically enough. If they can't come in for inspections, your "neighbors" offer to renovate and maintain your home. New paint, gardening, one of them even offered to start digging a hole in your backyard to put in a pool (no ulterior motives here! they totally aren't hoping to catch you in a bathing suit on the dozens of cameras surrounding your house). While you may be missing some things and you're pretty sure you have less locks on your windows now, you can't deny how much nicer the house looks. Hopefully you don't get too attached because, like you said, something bad may happen if you spend too much time inside. They won't resort to burning it down unless they're really desperate. Most of the time, a burst sewer line or power outage is enough. Maybe the utility company will shut off your water, forcing you to stay at a friend's for a while.

Never apologize for long asks! It's a genuine delight to see how excited people get about my writing <3

#yandere town #multiple yanderes #yandere scenarios #yandere x reader #my writing

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shioritsumi · 2 months

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Took me long enough to get to Bingge but he deserves his own post....

-Bingge knew the modern world would be different, but the technology is much easier for him to grasp than he'd thought and a lot of functions of daily life are simple or hardly changed at all. Society, however...it hasn't changed, exactly. Shen Tianyu talks about his divorce and Bingge has to get reminded inflicting random violence upon people isn't legal. "I'm disappointed too, man, but we both have to live with it."

-Bingge needs time to adjust to not being a demon lord and instead just being a tall muscular citizen. Blending into human society isn't something he has recent experience with, and he has to re-learn it.

-Shen Tianyu lives in a penthouse apartment, and Bingge still isn't certain if he likes having to take the elevator so often just to get in and out of the home. "Did you make your kid do this every day?" "Xiao-jiu isn't old enough for school yet, and this was my second home anyways-I stayed here when i couldn't go home since it's much closer to work. Now it's just....home, I guess. What else did you want?"

-Every time Tianyu talks about his marriage, Bingge gets sad. He managed to become demon lord of his realm, he knows what it's like to rule....but Tianyu talks about things as though despite everything he's had very little control over his own life. He loves his son but he didn't personally choose to have kids. He was "strongly encouraged" to go into business, rather than choosing it willingly. Bai Lianhua pursued him first, not the other way around. The more popular a person or competitive the market, the more easily Shen Tianyu could be compelled to join the race for it. Bai Lianhua effectively convinced him to court her by reminding him frequently lots of guys were after her but she was there with HIM.

Bingge is quick to realize this means Tianyu has done very little for himself in his own life. Which sets him about trying to seduce Tianyu in a strange complicated reasoning that he wants Tianyu to choose him of his own free will and not just because he's the all-powerful demon lord lusted over by countless women. How does one court a competitive man with crippling depression when you are the most desirable bachelor in a stallion novel?

(by the way, Tianyu likes Bingge bc he hears all his trauma and just laughs and goes 'mine is worse'. It's like his friendship with Shang Qingshui but better because Bingge knows when to stop.)

-Bingge ends up reading PIDW and is of the opinion the author has never had sex with a woman. Shang Qingshui can vouch for this, and Shen Tianyu thinks they should both think before they open their mouths.

-Bingge ends up finding all the Luo Binghe merchandise and doesn't know how to respond. "It belonged to my brother, but after he died....I dunno, it's a little like still having him around, since he cared about these things so much. My sister has the other half of his collection if you want to see it." Bingge is extra confused and he just inspects the merch because what even IS this. Some of the figures are fully sculpted in every way....EVERY way. His brother BOUGHT these? With his own money? "Well yeah, you were his favorite. I don't blame him."

-The more Bingge is told about Shen Yuan, the more confused he gets. His siblings describe him as smart, with a photographic memory, and decent looks "but he's definitely related to us". Bingge is absolutely concerned by this one. Hanjun seems to be the only sibling with his shit together properly, having started his own nutrition company and doing quite well. They're all possessed of a dark sense of humor, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to get hyperfixated on fictional characters. So what does this mean about the recently deceased Shen Yuan? "Oh come on, I bet you'd like him if you met him!" Bingge.....isn't sure of this.

-fun possible scenario popping up when Hanjun invites both Bingge and Tianyu to his wedding. Bingge swears he's not a maiden, but he definitely stresses out the most about being invited to a wedding for his boyfriend's family like they're a legit real couple and they NEED to make a good impression ("like we're a legit real couple? Bing-er, we ARE a real couple, stop stressing" "NO" ) they need to wear the right clothes, they need to bring the right gift do they need a sword because he has swords.

-Shen Jiuyuan and Bingge have to talk about it once the truth comes out to Bingge. For the longest time they aren't sure HOW to talk about it, and Jiuyuan doesn't want his new dad to know. They can't act like they don't have history, especially history as bad as it is. But this is a brand new life for Shen Jiu, and he has a father who loves and dotes on him endlessly, constantly apologizes when he's wrong and doesn't lecture him overly long when he's rude or violent. (Tianyu recalls being a difficult child himself, and currently figures the attitude and violent issues are just a result of being related to him-Shen Yuan was probably the only Shen son who didn't have a similar childhood and that was the result of having two older brothers.)

They may not necessarily like each other, but they love Tianyu, and he loves them. Over time they learn to tolerate each other and even share a few moments. Bingge is just mildly confused as to how going to a completely different world to find a new better shizun turned into karmic retribution for killing his own shizun. How did things work OUT like this?!?

-Bingge being prepared to hear about Tianyu's childhood full of soft comforts and spoiled luxury and instead he's told about a mostly ordinary upbringing because his family wanted to foster responsibility in their kids. (although they did always have good things and vacations and whatnot available) And Tianyu's stories of his childhood are most stories about being an absolute gremlin when he was a kid. "One time Hanjun had to fish me and A-Qing out of the river, alongside six other people because turns out that peg was important and i got grounded for two weeks." "I threw a snake at Qingshui's head once. We were ten, and in my defense he told my crush Mianmao i had 'snake eyes' so it was karma. He got bitten and i was suspended for a week." Tianyu just pointing to a super tall building and being like "I jumped off that when i was 15."

Turns out his new shizun was an unhinged child, and the only reason Shen Yuan wasn't is because Hanjun had already witnessed it previously and made sure Yuan didn't even have ACCESS to the most unhinged experiences Tianyu made for himself. Bingge silently wonders how he did indeed find someone to match his freak so perfectly, on ACCIDENT.

#svsss au #luo bingge

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artemistorm · 1 year

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Would you be interested in writing something Four/Shadow? Anything at all!

While I’m not much for shipping in general, I do have headcanon about Four and Shadow black cats that you can take however you want. (1354 words)

*****

At last, Four found himself alone.

He was hiding way back in a narrow alleyway between two random shops in the Village of Men that bordered two sides of the Gerudo Town walls. This was the home of the families, the husbands and non-Gerudo children of the Gerudo women and girls who lived inside the City’s walls. And given that this was a desert, it was hot.

Four leaned against the plastered wall and slid to the ground, sitting behind a couple crates and pots and not visible from the street. He and the rest of the Chain were given “Town Pass” as Warriors called it, freedom to go anywhere or do anything in the local area for two days as long as it wasn’t harmful, destructive, or illegal.

They certainly needed the downtime. Traveling in the blazing desert tended to make young hot-blooded heroes irritable at best or downright defiant and combative at the worst (cough cough Wind cough cough). And Four was tired of constantly being surrounded by people.

Four settled in to consume the hydromelon lemonade and goat meat hand pie he’d purchased in the market and read the newspapers he’d picked up from his Grandfather the last time they were in his Hyrule. His grandfather had saved him quite the stack of the twice weekly papers and Four had only made it a third of the way so far through the stack in his offtime in the evenings and on days of rest.

A stray black cat appeared from between the crates and rubbed against his leg.

“Hello kitty,” Four said and gave it a couple pets. “I hope you’re not here for my meat pie. It’s my brunch and I don’t feel like sharing.”

“Rrrror?” The cat trilled. It rubbed against him a few more times, then settled into to sniff-inspect his boots intently. Four ignored the cat and unfolded the first newspaper in the stack.

LOCAL FARMER BURNS DOWN OWN BARN TO DESTROY SNAKE INFESTATION

VILLAGE ELDER MARRIED AT LAST AT AGE 89

FERRYMAN’S DAUGHTER DROWNS IN MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

ALMANAC FORECASTS HEAVY SUMMER STORMS

“Mrrrp?” Four looked down to see a second black cat sitting politely and expectantly next to him.

“Well hello there,” He gave the cats ears a polite scratch.

“Mrrrr?” The cat asked again.

“What? Do you want some meat?” Even though he’d told the other cat off, Four couldn’t say no to those round amber eyes. He offered the cat a chunk of goat meat from his hand pie, but the cat promptly turned around and walked away without so much as a sniff.

“Fine then. I’ll eat it myself,” Four popped it in his mouth and carried on reading.

PRINCESS BEGINS TOUR OF HYRULE’S REGIONAL CAPITALS

FLOODS DESTROY BRIDGE AT ECTON VILLAGE ROAD

ANONYMOUS BENEFACTOR GIVES GENEROUS DONATION TO BOXHILL CHILDREN’S HOME

BELL PEPPER BUMPER CROP EXPECTED THIS SEASON

Four jumped, startled when a third black cat leapt down from somewhere onto his shoulders and then to the ground.

“Kitty! I almost spilled my drink!” He exclaimed, dismayed. The cat ignored him and instead bumped heads with one of the other cats which lounged beside him on the cool shaded packed earth. The new cat lair down between the other two and stretched out long and languid. The cats didn’t seem to want anything from him other than his company, which Four was fine with. He came here to get away from interaction after all.

CATTLE RANCHER’S TODDLER ACTUALLY A CHANGELING

NUMEROUS REPORTS OF CLOTHED MICE FROM CHILDREN IN THREE VILLAGES

EARTHQUAKE RATTLES CASTLETOWN, CAUSES MINOR DAMAGE

LOST HORSE RECOVERED IN EXTRAORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES

Four finished his drink and set it aside, then blinked in surprise when he realized there were in fact now seven black cats laying next to him on the ground.

“Where did you all come from?” He asked the one laying with its back against his leg. “Are you all part of the same family? The same cat colony?” The cat looked up at him, slow blinked, then yawned.

“I thought so,” Four said stroking its fur. The cat stretched along the entire length of Four’s legs. The other cats laid along the wall two cats wide except for the cat on the end which was curled up in a perfectly circular disk. The cats were arranged next to him almost like they were his… shadow.

It was just coincidence, Four told himself, but his heart clung to the smallest fragment of hope. He quickly went back to reading.

SUTTON NOBLES ADOPT NEW FAMILY CREST

DEFENSIVE CASTLE BUILT ON LAKESHORE TO BE COMPLETED NEXT FALL

FAMOUS MUSIC TROUPE TO PERFORM AT AMPITHEATER ON SOLSTICE

BANDITS SEIZE CONTROL OF MONASTERY FRUIT ORCHARD

The noises of the village and the market grew louder as the morning wore on. The sun shifted and shadows shifted as the sun drifted back down toward the horizon, but the cats stayed only in the shade, refusing to let even the tips of their tails touch the sunlight. Four crossed his legs so that they wouldn’t burn in the ever-rising sunlight. The alleyway was rapidly warming up and Four started to think about finding somewhere else to escape the heat.

“What do you guys do when it gets too hot out?” Four asked. “Where do you go? A cave or an underground den perhaps?” There were only six cats still there, apparently one of them had left. Still they were arranged beside him in a pattern like what his shadow would take—if he still had one.

Four folded up the paper he finished and moved on to the next one.

RARE WATERSPOUT SPOTTED NEAR COASTAL VILLAGE

LOCAL FARMER CONVICTED OF SETTING RIVAL FARM ON FIRE

Four was starting to feel warm and thirsty. The shade he occupied rapidly dwindled and two more of the cats were no longer there, undoubtably seeking shady respite somewhere else. But Four might be able to read a few more articles before the heat chased him out of his secluded refuge.

SCHOOLBOYS INVENT NEW POTTERY STYLE

FAMILY OF ORPHAN CHILDREN SUCCESSFULLY RUN FRUIT RANCH ON THEIR OWN

It was too hot to finish reading the article. Already Four could feel his arms starting to sunburn. The sun was almost directly overhead; high noon was upon him. Only one cat remained beside him, sitting next to him in the narrow strip is shade still remaining along the wall.

“So you’re the last one, eh?”

“Mrow,” The cat replied.

“I’ve enjoyed your company, hopefully as much as you all seemed to enjoy mine,” Four scratched the cat’s cheeks and head and it leaned into his hand, but only for a moment.

“I’m off now, I’ll probably go to the underground lake I’ve heard some of the locals—and my younger brothers—mention. Go swimming or something.”

The cat licked his arm once, stared into Four’s eyes for another moment, then turned and walked off down the alleyway. Four gathered his things and departed in the other direction, trying not to read too much into what had just happened. He probably would never see those cats again.

Except that he did.

They kept showing up wherever Four went. If he was in the market, one of them would rub against his leg then vanish into the crowd. If he was at the inn, two of them would watch him come and go from their perch in the rafters of the common room. When he walked along the streets, several would follow him for a block or two. Wherever he went, they were there. Four didn’t quite understand their behavior, but it gave him comfort to know that he wasn’t alone.

Even after they left the desert and left that Hyrule, everywhere he went, black cats inexplicably seemed to gravitate toward him. Four conflicted. Was it a sign? Was it a sign? Was Shadow still out there? Still alive somewhere and trying to communicate with him through the behavior of black cats? Or was his own mind playing tricks on him? Was he hyper aware and hypervigilant of black cats now?

Maybe he’d never know.

#ask game #an unexpected ask #anon anon #lu four #four doesn't have a shadow #except for the furry kind #fluff #figurative and literal #minimal angst

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