#honestly don't even know what i'm going to do once my cat dies bc lets be honest she's the only thing keeping me alive most days

[ranger-kellyn]

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[adepressedartist]

Watch me ex half a bottle of mead, trying to sleep easy today.

Honestly close to relapse, I've been close to crying all day. Today has been really bad. My mental health has been going extremely south, mainly because I'm suspicious and cautious, and had been overthinking a lot lately. Also my hallucinations r fucking up my ass again, and i need to remind myself that I'm still v much capable of seeing the difference between real and unreal. But the fact that i saw a big ass fly in my room with no explanation where tf that came from, plus ferret not being able to see it for quite a while fucked so much with my head that I'm not believing myself now. Childhood trauma, when nobody ever believed you, and all you said was ALWAYS wrong, even when proven right ✨

Untreatable mental illness sucks. I got a terrible headache because i drank almost nothing the whole day, except for the mead now because honestly the voices are so loud right now, and the fact that I got easy access makes it worse. But hey, at least I'm less suicidal then I was at the weekend where i disappeared from my best friends birthday party because a really close friend had died on the second this month. And only one from three persons noticed that something was wrong and that i didn't just use the swings on the playground for almost an hour. Out in the freezing cold. With my whole face covered in tears.

I spent her whole birthday trying not to cry even once, because how the fuck could i tell her "yeah, so, I'm just gonna sit in a corner now because one of my friends died!" When it's her big day, celebrating after over 5 yrs. How could i tell the only one that noticed, ruining the day for him more than everything already did, let alone bc of his knee pain. You know what's the best thing? It reminded me of how perfectly i can mask. Wanting to kill and hurt myself in unspeakable ways, close to losing any control i got left, but not a single second showing any of it, instead celebrating as if I don't have a worry in the world.

But I'd rather be suicidal rn than depressed, bc suicidal means no feelings at all most of the time snd i really don't wanna feel yhe feelings I'm feeling rn because they're painful as fuck. And make me amgry at the same time, because I'm hyper safe aware and know how i could fix it, but can't manage to do it/can't make it work, and I'm just watching myself decay while i screwed up a ton shit of things. Maybe meeting my buddy tomorrow will help me.

Rest in peace D, I hope you'll find happiness. I hope no one can ever hurt you again, and I hope I'll get the chance to apologize to you when it's my time. I'm sorry i didn't get your calls because my number is no longer active. I'm sorry I won't make it to your funeral. I hope you'll find peace, and your girlfriend that left us too soon, just like you. That you may find your cat that ran away 7 years ago, and greet your dad that's been patiently waiting for you.

[ajokeformur-ray]

Honestly, I'm surprised that you're lacking requests with Seb, Sev and Hannibae 😂 But, if you don't mind me requesting so many times~ Could I get some HCs for the 3 with a fem ace S/O who's a Vet/Healer/Forensics Doctor accordingly~? (Gotta celebrate getting into Vet Uni with a scholarship 😍)����🐍

I know omg i’m always lacking requests for those three bc they’re normally the first to go xp  i’m so so proud of you, dear friend, i hope you know how loved and cherished you are! michael better be spoiling you, or i’m gonna go for him.

Vet - Sebastian Michaelis

Sebastian would forever be bringing you injured kitties.

“My dear, do you have a moment? This little lady said her ankle hurts.” he’d plop the kitty down on your bed and look at you expectantly.

Every time the kitty makes a noise, like a meow, he nods sagely and translates for you.

Sometimes you think he’s just making it up, looking for a reason to show off, and you’d be right.

But when he tells you what’s wrong with the cats, he’s being serious.

He’d be intrigued by the amount of studying and hard work, sleepless nights and the like you had to put up with, and would definitely be very proud of you. He’d be sure to tell you, too.

He would often ask if he could watch you examine, help and check up on any animals that you take in to help, and would ask if you would consider opening a cat shelter.

Someone help him, he needs to have a valid excuse to keep upwards of thirteen kitties in his wardrobe in his bedroom.

Once he runs out of space, he’s using yours; so beware!

As far as celebrations go, he goes all the way. All the way. We’re talking that infamous champagne tower (no knocking it over this time, though), chocolate fountains almost as tall as the ceiling… he goes all out. He’s so, so proud of you and feels some of his hope for humanity come back the more animals you help to heal and rehome.

Dark side of being a vet: when you have to euthanise a beloved pet, he’s there for you afterwards. It might be your job, but you’re only human and humans feel. It’s one of the things he loves the most about you - if demons can, indeed, love.

Healer - Severus Snape

As a Potions Master, his s/o being a Healer is terribly convenient. 

You naturally complement each other.

Severus supplies the Potions that you need to use during your sessions with patients, and in turn you make sure that Severus gets feedback on whether his prototype Potions work or not.

More often than not, they work better than expected and it’s a rush to get them patented.

He would love to watch you work. He’d love watching you eye your patients in much the same way as he eyes his potions while they’re in the most critical of brewing stages.

When you find out that you’ve been accepted onto a Healer scholarship, no one is prouder than Severus. Not even you. 

He would buy you your absolute favourite type of alcohol if you drink, the highest brand of your favourite treat (sweet or savoury), the latest book you’ve had your eye on… any of the above would he spoil you with, but at night… oh, at night… (next two headcanons are romantic but not sexual)

Arms wrapped tightly around you, lips at your temple. He is more affectionate with you in the nights after the announcement so that he can show you just how much he loves you. 

It’s both a reward for your extreme hard work and for himself. Severus needs to show you that though he is often cold at first glance, stiff, he is everything but.

Dark side of your profession - when someone dies. Severus is the first to know and he’s there right with you as soon as all is said and done.

For every one you lose, ten more survive and he’d make sure you focus on that. 

Forensics Doctor - Hannibae Lecter

You may not have the same sensitive nose that Hannibal has, but you can practically smell the pride coming off him when you tell him that you’re becoming a forensics doctor.

He already knew, of course, but out of respect for your feelings (it’s only polite, after all), and to see how long it would take you to tell him, Hannibal would wait.

He would use his bountiful connections (and money) to get you to where you want to be as quickly as you can. 

By the time he’s finished, you simply think you’ve flown through all the initial stages and that everything was really easy.

It wasn’t. You were shaky in some aspects, because of nerves, but people were too swayed by the money and by his name that they simply let you go through.

You only find out years later, when you are very comfortable in your profession, and you’re so angry it amuses Hannibal.

What’s done is done, however, and you only hope that future promotions are based on merit, not status.

Hannibal would celebrate the news with an extravagant dinner party if you’re one for the attention, or a simple home cooked dinner for the two of you and maybe some friends if you prefer to be out of the light. 

You’re ace, and so sex is off the table as far as rewards go, so Hannibal uses food, instead. Chocolate, especially, because it releases the same hormones as having sex does, just in smaller amounts.

As someone who carries out autopsies, you are going to see the absolute worst of humanity, the worst of tragedies. No one is unreachable by Death, who doesn’t discriminate.

Hannibal would hear through the grapevine when you need some extra attention at home because of this ^, and he’d be sure to greet you at the door with open arms and listening ears.

Sebastian Michaelis: @misfitgirl3390 @maelikimichaelis @redheadedkillerprincess @niponmirai02 @artsy-jandi @misfitgirlwrites @tsukuyomi011 @shingeki-no-julchen @smellslikeghosts @daedaliaaan @maltafiir @liecheepaint @lyfadg @funtomimagines @secretlyspookyzombie @ms-allenbrown @sanity-is-overratedxp littlest-phantomganger @the-lady-of-space-and-timeBlack Butler: @theoriginalgodsgirlrachel @ll-kirra-ll @bingewatchingmylifegoby  @sky-the-squirrel @miyakokurono @amoureux-de-la-litterature  @mamahost  @misfitgirlwrites @shamrocklesbian @xiumincancallmebabyanytime @grape-vine @tsukuyomi011 @hagridsbeasts @shingeki-no-julchen @animearmada @daedaliaaan @wolfwithabook @sanity-is-overratedxp  @ohokaybyethen @angel12-us @chill-satan-chill @missingaim @my-aestheticdaydreams @lyoly @writings-of-a-gen-z @cryptic-trash-cat @hannibalsslut @boopzytheweebqueenofbritain 

Harry Potter: @bingewatchingmylifegoby @sky-the-squirrel @ll-kirra-ll @miyakokurono @hagridsbeasts @shingeki-no-julchen @firenationandrecreation  @sanity-is-overratedxp @daedaliaaan @jessie4098 @barefootwitch @ocean-wide-mind @my-aestheticdaydreams @hyoomintypo

Severus: @aluvex @consultingdoctorwholock @o-i-am-a-squid-o @splashytors @obviously-best-potions-master @orson-bigdaddy-krennic

Hannibal: @missingaim @ninja-scenarios @murielthemagicalgirl @rafaelina-casillas @bingewatchingmylifegoby @maelikimichaelis @hannibalsslut @lolacolaempath @thotsaucebitch