#honestly writing as if neil was going to read it does wonders (I know he can’t because legal reasons dw)

[the-darklings]

As a life long lover of The Sandman comics, I feel that if Neil Gaiman were to ever have given Dream a happy ending of some sorts, it somehow would have been your Wanderer.

I have never read anything that has come close to how Sandman has made me feel, with the exception now being your Story. In some unexplainable way, you, Dearest Writer, are on the same wavelength as Mr. Gaiman.

(If you were an artist during his Sandman publishing days I just know he would have HOUNDED you to draw an issue, you just radiate the exact vibes)

Thank you so much! That means the world to me 😭

Perhaps ironically, I’ve had quite a few people ask me how I manage to write Dream so well (which is, of course, very subjective, but I deeply appreciate the sentiment all the same) and my half-ironic thought was always: I write like Neil Gaiman himself is standing over my shoulder, keeping me on the straight and narrow. Which is now unironically true by this point. In my mind, I write tibyim as if I had to turn this in to Neil himself as I would an editor. Maybe it’s the fact I work with comics too (albeit digital) but I have a lot of respect for Neil and his work just on author level. He’s actually become a bit of an inpsiration for me which I’m always wary about and rarely have “heroes” since we all know how those tend to go jdfhjdshf.

He created something truly unique with the Sandman, and it feels like the least I can do is pay homage to these characters in a respectful manner.

[starsandgutters]

Flash Ficlet requests! Oh okay thinking time now…Kevin hopelessly pining after Aaron…I love all of your writing…what to say, what to say…

May I ask about Kevaaron meeting each other before Neil gets recruited? (honestly I’d be happy with anything the way you write them brings me so much joy anytime I read any of it <333)

I wasn't sure if you wanted this canon based or in an AU where they get together instead of Aaron with Katelyn, so I've just left it open ended. I actually think Aaron really didn't like Kevin at the start, and Kevin just didn't care about Aaron. He was too insignificant to him for him to have feelings about.

CWs: Implied abuse Depiction of an anxiety attack Blood mention

Aaron has seen Kevin Day before. Through a screen, yes, multiple times, but also when he came to try and recruit Andrew. As much as he made an impression of a stuck up, arrogant, conceited bitch, Aaron could admit that he knew how to play. His speed and strength on the court were impressive, but he had grace as well, movements fluid despite his size.

Mostly. Aaron noticed sometimes he tensed when he moved too suddenly, or that certain moves held a stiffness to them. Aaron recognised that. Aaron spent a lot of his teens moving around like that, after all. It could have just been injuries from training, the Ravens were hardly known for their clean games, but it made Aaron wonder. 

His suspicions are confirmed when Wymack brings Kevin to the Foxhole Court for the first time. Gone is the superior facade. Kevin Day has been stripped down to a damaged, skittish animal, clutching his injured hand to his chest and warily eying the team. Wymack runs through introductions, tells them Kevin’s going to be assistant coach going forward. A feeble excuse to get him a scholarship, Aaron’s sure. Special privileges for exy’s special little boy. He keeps his gaze set on Kevin the whole time, watching how he holds his left hand in his right, thumb rubbing over the support bandage around it. 

Kevin does not look at Aaron. People rarely do. So he is free to observe all he wants.

*

Any ounce of sympathy Aaron may have managed to scrounge together for Kevin quickly evaporates once he finds his voice. He’s an absolute ass, meticulously tearing each of their play styles apart, heavy on the criticism and light on the constructive. The Foxes are vicious to him in response, and Aaron can’t blame them. He mostly stays out of the arguments, unless Kevin turns his yapping on him directly, then he bares his teeth and snaps back.

Andrew seems endlessly amused by the whole ordeal. He acts unaffected by Kevin’s attitude. Regardless of how hard Kevin tries, he cannot get Andrew to care about this game. Aaron could have told him to save himself the hassle. Andrew doesn’t care about anything since they doped him up on those fucking meds. Aaron thinks they’ve done more harm than good.

Off the court Kevin is only fractionally less irritating. He makes stilted, awkward attempts at conversation, always giving the impression he thinks he’s above them, that he’s lowering himself in talking to them. He never asks anyone questions about themselves, either. Just talks about his interests. Aaron takes any chance he can to contradict him.

“You’re not working on the things I told you to,” Kevin says.

“You’re not my coach or my captain.”

“I’m your assistant coach.”

“We all know that’s just an excuse for Wymack to keep you here after your little boo boo.”

“What the fuck is your problem? Is it the height? You’ve got some kind of Napoleon complex?”

It is, ironically, a low blow. Kevin’s leaning over Aaron, expression warped into one of anger. In spite of the responding anger stirring in Aaron’s body, he smirks. 

“Napoleon was actually around 5’6, which was average for French men of his time. And the Napoleon complex has been disproved. Studies show short men are actually less likely to lose their temper compared to taller men. Maybe you should check your facts before you open your mouth.”

Kevin blinks, like he didn’t expect that, like Aaron has caught him off guard. Of course. Everyone always underestimates him. What else is new?

“Then what’s your excuse?” 

“I don’t need an excuse. You’re a dick. I’m just reflecting your energy back.”

*

Kevin goes from an annoyance Aaron has to deal with for a small segment of his day, to enemy number one when Andrew decides to adopt him. They’ve made some deal that ends up with Andrew and Kevin attached at the hip, meaning Aaron is now faced with Kevin Day everywhere. In the car, at Eden’s, sleeping on the couch in their fucking house, the one place that should have been Aaron’s sanctuary. Andrew had made a deal with Aaron first. Just the two of them, sticking together until graduation, but apparently Kevin gets the special privilege of being an exception. 

What’s worse than Kevin trailing Andrew around like a lost lamb is when Andrew leaves him with Aaron. Aaron really feels that at his big age Kevin should not need babysat, and yet that seems to be what happens on a frequent basis. 

Aaron has mastered the art of sitting in stony silence with people, but petulant princess Kevin Day can only last so long before he talks, and talks, and pushes at Aaron’s buttons until he finally responds. And okay, maybe Aaron doesn’t really talk to people that much outside of school, bar Nicky. Andrew barely looks at him, and their deal keeps him isolated enough that making friends is a challenge. Aaron reflects spitefully on how this is yet another thing that doesn’t apply to Andrew, who befriended Renee during their first year. 

Fuck double standards, actually. Maybe he should just allow that spite to direct him into befriending Kevin as a petty pushback at Andrew. I made a friend too, and what’s worse, mine is your little pet project. 

“Fuck sake, Day, don’t you come with an off button?”

It would probably be a more effective endeavour if Aaron were not an asshole.

*

A glass shattering in the kitchen makes Aaron start. His heart rate rockets up. Years of smashed glasses, plates, slamming doors come rushing back to him, jangling his nerves. He breathes shakily. Reminds himself she’s gone now, he’s okay, it’s just Kevin in the kitchen. 

“What did you break?” he calls, but gets no answer. Cautiously Aaron gets to his feet and makes his way to the kitchen. Kevin is standing by the broken remains of the glass, staring down at it. He’s clutching his left wrist, hands trembling as he hyperventilates. There are tears in his eyes but he hasn’t let any of them fall. Aaron was not prepared to see Kevin’s vulnerability put on display like this, such a far throw from how he’s used to seeing him. He feels his skin tighten and tense with discomfort as the hateful image of Kevin in his mind starts to splinter and crack apart. Kevin’s head turns towards him, eyes wide like a cornered animal. He ducks down towards the glass, still gasping breaths. 

“Don’t.”

Too late. Kevin’s in no state to be cautious with it, and the first shard of glass he touches slices his finger open. He draws it back swiftly. Aaron thinks it’s probably a shallow wound, but it’s bleeding a lot already. He catches Kevin by the arm and hauls him up, pulling roughly when Kevin tries to resist. 

“I’m helping you, dickhead. Come on.”

Kevin tries to glare at him, but with his watery eyes and short, gasping breaths, he’s really not intimidating. Aaron pushes him down into one of the kitchen chairs. He wraps some kitchen roll around Kevin’s bleeding finger, guiding his other hand over to press against it. Kevin’s hands are surprisingly warm against Aaron’s, whose fingers are always cold. 

“Stay. Keep pressure on that,” he says, and runs off to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. The only movement Kevin does in his absence is curl in over himself, his back visibly shaking when Aaron comes back. “No, no, you need to sit upright. Come on.”

Aaron pushes at his shoulder, but Kevin resists, curling tighter into himself. Aaron represses a sigh. He tries to soften the impatient edge out of his voice. He can do this. This is what he wants to do, after all. Look after people. He tries to imagine he’s talking to a frightened child instead of Kevin, tries to envision how he would approach that differently. 

“Hey. You’re going to be okay. Kevin, do you hear me? It’s going to be okay, but I need you to sit back for me now. It’s harder to breathe in that position. If you sit up straight it’ll open your airways more. Can you sit up for me?” Aaron tries again, this time with a more gentle touch to Kevin’s shoulder, guiding him up instead of pushing. Kevin looks at him, eyes unsteady, face blotchy. Aaron holds his gaze, trying to keep his face even. “There. That feels better, doesn’t it? Next you need to get some more air in.”

Kevin lifts his hands without letting go of the bloody kitchen roll. He taps them against his chest. Aaron nods.

“I know your chest is hurting, but that’s because you’re not getting enough oxygen. We’re going to do some deep breaths together. You just follow me. The first few are going to suck, but they’ll get easier.” Aaron makes a show of breathing loud and exaggerated. Kevin struggles to mimic him at first, still only getting small, jumping breaths. “Come on, Kevin. You can do this.”

Gradually Kevin’s inhales get longer. Aaron keeps going until Kevin is breathing deep and steady, though there’s still a slight rattle on his exhales. 

“Good. That’s better. I’m going to clean your finger now-”

“I can do it.” Kevin pulls his hand back when Aaron reaches for it. Aaron gives him a flat, unimpressed look. 

“I’m sure you can, but I’m going to.” He grabs Kevin’s forearm. He knows most of the damage was done to his hand, but there are that many connections to the wrist, Aaron’s sure he probably feels pain there too. He’s seen Kevin clutching it a few times. It’s harder to get the leverage to pull his hand back with his forearm, but Aaron manages. “This might sting when I disinfect it.”

Aaron is sure it does, but Kevin sits silent and impassive as he cleans up the blood. He gets a better look at the cut, and like he thought, it seems fairly shallow. It’s just bled a lot. Aaron puts a bandaid on it just in case the movement of Kevin’s hand causes more bleeding. 

“Keep that on for tonight, then put a fresh one on in the morning.” Aaron takes a strip of bandaids out of the kit and hands them to Kevin. Kevin takes them without thanks, but he does meet Aaron’s gaze, something unrecognisable in his face. It’s a world away from the haughty expression that is usually cast Aaron’s way. 

*

Padding downstairs as quietly as he can, Aaron makes his way to the kitchen for a drink of water. He’d startled awake from a bad dream with dry mouth. There’s light from the living room as he passes through. Kevin glances over from where he’s sitting on the couch. There’s an infomercial playing on loop on the TV.

Aaron brings his water through and sits on the armchair. He lifts the remote, glancing at Kevin, but Kevin makes no protest. He looks like he’s just been zoning out with the screen on. Aaron flicks through channels until he comes across Jurassic Park. He doesn’t know why they’re playing it as this god awful hour, but he leaves it on.

“I loved this when I was little,” Kevin says after they’ve been watching for ten minutes.

“Yeah? Me too. What’s your favourite dinosaur?”

“T-Rex. Obviously.”

“Ugh. Basic and predictable.”

“Why, what’s yours?”

“Ankylosaurus.” When Kevin stays quiet, Aaron elaborates: “It’s the armoured one with a club on its tail.”

“I wanted to be an archaeologist when I was little.”

“Makes sense.”

“What did you want to be?”

“A lot of silly things.”

“Like what?”

“When I was really young, a zookeeper. Then a vet. Astronaut lasted quite a while. Marine biologist was only for a few years, before high school.”

“What did you end up studying?”

Aaron looks across, surprised. He didn’t realise Kevin doesn’t know what he’s studying. He probably should have. It’s not like Kevin ever asked, or like he’s shown any interest in Aaron before. It just feels like such a big presence in Aaron’s life, it’s strange for others not to know.

“I’m pre-med. Majoring in bio sciences.”

“Makes sense,” Kevin says after a moment, and graces Aaron with one of his rare smiles. Aaron blames the sleep deprivation for the way he instantly smiles back.

[alivehouse]

just wondering why you dislike Neil gaiman so much?? not trying to criticize or defend him, just curious

gghhhhh

(this is all just going to be based on good omens related stuff bc i havent really willingly interacted with any other work of his since i was like 12 he is not a great writer imo)

ok before i get into why specifically the way he uses his socials annoys me so much i just want to mention that good omens (tv show) has a serious problem with treating its characters of color poorly/as disposable (which this post goes into) and as far as i know neil has never so much as acknowledged this let alone apologize for it so theres that

but as for why i hate his social media presence specifically so much i just think the way he interacts with his fanbase is annoying & i dont want to use the term 'gaslighting' for something this stupid but i dont even know how else to describe his habit of like. pretending he wrote aziraphale and crowley in a relationship for the sake of clout?

^ he used to regularly regularly say condescending no homo shit like this but then when he realized he could get attention for pretending he wrote queer characters he pulled a 180 and started going 'ohhhh i DID write them in a relationship actually and also trans and also nonbinary i cant believe you didnt GET it just because its SUBTLE im sorry half assed vaguely subtextual scene #5 was not enough for you stupid fa- i mean people'

and he does this shit constantlyyyy and gets no flack for it. in fact a lot of his fanbase encourages it even bc were still stuck on begging for word of god scraps from rich straight men instead of engaging with work made by actual queer people i guess. (ALSO THIS TWEET SPECIFICALLY IS REALLY FUNNY bc like a month later he lied about there being a secret handholding scene in the show to send people on a wild goose chase zooming in on shit trying to find anything just to give him more streams i guess i dont know i think it was a stupid thing to even fall for honestly but it still strikes me as kind of cruel)

i mentioned this in tags before & idk if he still does this but he used to go look up his own name on here to find people talking negatively about him so he could reblog it and get them dogpiled which is why you see people talking negatively about him calling him 'neilman' so much instead of his actual searchable name. literal full grown man picking fights with random people on here bc he knows hell win since hes a famous author and will get backed up no matter what

and ok this is edging into fandom circlejerking (i think hes only said this one a few times but his fanbase brings it up constantly to shield him from any criticisms) so i wont go into this as much as i could but theres this Thing hell do where he says they cant be gay bc they technically arent men bc they arent humans (based on a bit in the book where they feel the need to specify that aziraphale is NOT ACTUALLY GAY after continuously subjecting him to homophobic language/aggression) and people will bend over backwards trying to interpret this as meaning they are canon nonbinary and Epic Trans Rep and hell vaguely encourage this instead of like acknowledging the extended man-in-a-dress evil nanny bit in the show and pointing out that it was fucked up? & honestly the whole undertone of that is like 'this character might go out of their way to look like and dress like and act like and refer to himself as a man but he cant REALLY be a man because he wasnt Created That Way' like how the fuck am i supposed to be treating this as a trans positive read of the situation lmao. not to mention the 'inhuman = nonbinary,' 'nonbinary = CANT be gay!!! there are no gay nonbinary people i guess' legwork going on here going on here i dont know its a whole mess

PLUS i just think its funny that hes said making characters gay would be disrespectful to his deceased cowriter but pulling an entire second out of his ass for that sweet amazon money apparently isnt lmao

and to finish this off just for fun heres him at the start of the pandemic when there was a crazy high rising death toll making it about his fucking book, + him answering another ask in response to that AFTER he had deleted the original post, to make the person asking him look like they were attacking him for no reason:

[quicksulphur-quill]

DPS-Inspired Extemporaneous Thoughts: John Keating was Collateral Damage

Writing prompts don't usually work for me, especially for fanfiction of source material that I'm not over the moon about. It just so happened this month that I caught a story idea from...a prompt for a fandom that I'm not over the moon about. Guess what, I'm going for it.

But I wondered why I'm not more into the source material. I like being familiar enough with the Dead Poets Society movie that I can sit through a whole video essay about why it's the best example for how to construct queer readings. I can understand the New-England-boarding-school-prepster aesthetic appeal. It has its moments that support a thematic argument, like the quirky teacher's "art is what makes life worth living" speech, and the students breaking curfew to sit in the cave and read poems and make a world for themselves, or the students standing on top of the tables at the end.

When I first watched it, though, and even now, the stories of the students and the teacher seemed very disconnected from each other. There was something underdone about it, some lack of momentum, so I got the sense that it didn't come close to fulfilling its dramatic potential.

But maybe I didn't know that I was expecting something else, and I can't even point to something else to say what I was expecting. The screenwriter, Tom Schulman, spoke in 2013 at the University of California in Santa Barbara about how he based the characters of Knox Overstreet and Neil Perry on people that he grew up with. The script itself was his own spec-work, and he'd had to defend it against changes that were supposed to make the story more marketable. All that considered, along with how many people do hold it near and dear, the loosely-affiliated subplots and slice-of-life level of plot tension could be features rather than flaws.

Since I'm not a boarding school boy from 1959 Vermont, I can't say that what makes it great is its realism, but from my own pessimism I do think that's a highlight. If I could hone in on the most main of main characters, there would be three: Mister Keating, who introduces the main thematic conflict; Neil Perry, whose character development makes the plot happen; and Todd Anderson, who gets caught up in a plot that makes his character development happen. Charlie "Nuwanda" Dalton, Meeks, Pittsie, Knox and Cameron all add something crucial to the story, but I say the main thread is spun from three characters.

And they don't overcome the odds. As I wrote for the title of this entry, Keating introduced powerful ideas but even a direct suggestion (for Neil to speak honestly with his father) is outright rejected and spirals completely out of Keatings' hands. Neil is as self-possessed as an emotionally abused son can be, up until the very end, but he burns bright and burns out and does not prevail against the social pressures in his life. Todd loses two people that changed his life for the better, and the only consolation is that not even the loss of them can undo their changes. It's dreadfully unsatisfying, but that is what I find the movie captures best. I can appreciate it for being a Memento Mori of original thought. Even if all these students are from wealthy enough families that they can attend an exclusive boarding school, for all the privileges they have in this environment and the world, if they don't conform because they'd rather be human or something then they are going to lose. It shouldn't be that way, but I wouldn't like the movie as much as I do if it were completely aspirational and escapist. If even these skinny white boys from wealthy families can't be people—explorers, artists, true friends, (and, on occasion if not by default, sixteen-or-seventeen-year-old purveyors of cringe problematicism c.1989) or literally alive—because of the extremely repressive society that they're in...Then what does that forebode for the rest of us? How have we been doing since 1989, or 1959 for that matter?

[liveyourlastbreath]

Neil Josten’s adventures in Exy as an (unwilling) Amputee (PT4)

Welcome to book two things are only getting worse from here. Also sorry about this taking so long, I'm not gonna pull an a03 level excuse, this series is just hard to write as I have to write it as I read the book and ya girl has bad adhd

Sunday morning, Neil wakes up to pain shooting up his missing leg. A strange sensation of throbbing and burning racing around in bones that had long since rotten down to dust

Seth’s death is a blissful distraction, something Neil clings onto to push the pain down

Wymack tries to get the team together that afternoon, which ends in a flat out brawl between Matt and Andrew

Neil knows better than to stand against Andrew, but when the blonde's knives are out and aimed at Matt's eyes he steps in, hands out to the both of them but not touching

"Neil, Neil, Neil," Andrew grind. "Surely you're not this dumb?" It hurt to stand but the idea of loosing Matt at the start of the season was enough to keep him steady.

"Andrew." He wasn't ordering him around, threatening him, Neil was simply asking him to stop. And Andrew listened.

By Wednesday the pains had subsided and he was able to deal with the upperclassmens confused glances with a clear mind

"Last I checked Andrew doesn't like you.""He doesnt." And Nicky butts in, "we needed someone to match Kevin don't worry about it" and then gets told off by coach

Pratice starts happening and then when Wymack gets the phone call the conversation is as follows: "Andrew Joseph Minyard, what the flying fuck have you done this time?" "It wasn't me it was the one legged striker!"

Blatent Harrasment, actually just bullying

Life goes on as normal, honestly the beginning of the Raven King is a bunch of exposition we already know

Allison shows up for the game Friday, the line gets switched up, and Neil highly doubts it’s gonna end well. Especially with Andrew going a full game without his meds.

Also in case you’re wondering, Neil brings both legs to his games. He always has his black slip on so changing the bottom half of his gear out is pretty easy. If he ever has to change the slip, he’ll do that in the stall. He doesn’t ever play on his day leg, the blade runner is a lot more comfortable and is better to run with on the court.

When Neil asks Kevin for advice against the Terrapins, Kevin’s response is. “I want you dead on your foot by the time the buzzer rings.” Just little changes like that happen a lot because everyone in this story is in fact a dickwipe

Herrera, Neil’s mark for that game, keeps making comments about him and his leg. At one point Herrera “accidently” slams his racket into Neil’s leg and it sends vibrations all the way up his stump. Then Neil is given permission to destroy him and does just that.

Ya know that cool move he does and nearly gets killed in the process? Yeah imagine that, but he slips his blade runner in there at just the right angle to send Herrera flying into the wall. He doesn’t get carded. Instead lights the goal up red and a triumphant smile breaks across his face.

At half time Kevin is chewing Neil out, ya know, “Injuries are not joke-“ “Oh my god really? *looks down at his leg* woah crazy, would have never guessed that one.”

Once again the story goes on, Neil feels joy for the first time, gets a phone again and flashes back to the beach party gone horribly wrong, same as the cannon series

Also can we just stop and talk about the phone scene in the locker rooms? It has to be one of my favorites, not gonna lie. It's just so them ya know? Like just the dialogue, the subtle "do we need to" before diving into their game again. AGH I love it soso much

"your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive."

The USC game happens, and THEN DUN DUN DUNNN the Fall Banquet is here!!what!!a!!fun!!time!!

It's at moments like these Neil is thankful for his missing leg. Riko last saw him with two functioning appendages, and on top of the hair dye, contacts, and time apart, he could almost find hope in the fact Riko wouldn't recognize him

As the teams are sat across from each other, get talking, and this conversation happens:

Andrew: I'm Andrew. We haven't met yet."

Jean: For that I am grateful. The Foxes as a whole are an embarrassment to Class I Exy, but your existence is unforgivable. A goalkeeper who doesn't care if he is scored on has no right to touch a racquet. You and Josten both should stay on the sidelines like the publicity stunts you are."

Renee: That's a bit out of line, don't you think?

Raven 1: If someone like that replaced you in goal, you must be downright terrible. I can't wait to watch one of your matches. I think it will be entertaining. We would make a drinking game of it but we don't want to die of alcohol posioning.

Dan: Yeah, that'd be a shame

Renee: This is the first time our teams have met, do we have to start off so poorly?

Raven 1: Why not? You're poor at everything else you do. Even down to picking players like the cripple over there. Is it honestly fun to be so terrible?

Renee: I imagine we have more fun than you do, yes."

Jean: Fun is for children-(has a moment of crisis upon looking at renee) A this level it is supposed to be about skill, and your team is sadly lacking. From an unstable goalkeeper to a lame striker with a bum leg to a couple members with deadly drug addictions. You have no right to play with us.

Allison: Fucking excuse me?

Matt: No one wants you here, you can leave any time.

Raven 2: You took something that does not belong to you. You brought this year's humiliation on yourselves.

Dan: We didn't take anything, Kevin wants to be here.

AND THEN, Riko: Is that why the cripple is so quiet? Or did his vocal chords go missing too? He was very spirited the last time we met, or maybe that was just a show for the crowd? Hello, I am speaking to you. Are you really going to ignore me? Hey, deadweight, over here.

THE HOLY MOTHER WYMACK OF ALL LINES Riko: What a coward, just like his mother.

INDEED THE GREATEST LINE IN ALL OF WRITTEN HISTORY (WITH A BIT MORE SASS ADDED)

You know, I get it. Being raised as a superstar must be really really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, nor a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Seriously, is 'cripple' the only insult you know? Maybe next time be a bit more creative, it really shows what little vocabulary you have. Try looking it up in a dictionary maybe, hm? Find it right between the words 'jackass' and 'dickwipe'. But don't feel bad, there are a lot of people who didn't pass the bar exam and they still get somewhere in like, all be it through charity alone. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.

aND THHEN our little tin foil ball of a sass master is outed as the Butcher's Son to Kevin, Kevin's face doing all kinds of complex emotions as he examines Neil

Also I love the little things like Neil staring only at Andrew because he doesn't trust himself to look at anyone else

Neil's freaking out, ready to grab his blade runner and book it. But he doesn't really regret most of what he's said, because here's the thing

Every single person up until this point has gone out of their way to call him a 'cripple', to write him off as someone who can't do anything anymore just because he's lost his leg

Nobody, except for the Foxes, believes he's anything more than an amputee. Up until this point he has been torn to shreds because of something he had absolutely no control over. Yeah, okay, it was stupid to put himself in the limelight as someone on the run, but it had nothing to do with being an amputee.

Neil Josten may be an idiot, but going off on Riko was completely justified, something many of the foxes later agree on. And if the Foxes start snapping at anyone, reporter or another team, who singles Neil out for his leg, that's something they just don't talk about

Neil Josten is so much more than a lost leg. Anyone really is more than a lost limb or physical limitations. That's the whole point of this AU and the message I really want to get across.

To the people reading this who may be in the same situation as Neil, you are so, so much more than your physical limitation. This AU is for you, someone who may have been bullied or targeted just because you're "not like everyone else". I see you, and I believe in you.

SORRY AHEM—I just wanted to ramble there for a second because I felt like that was something that needed to be said

So YEAH, Neil doesn't regret what he said, and goes forth after dinner is done, the Foxes have a team bonding moment over protecting the two exy-holics and their blonde bodyguard

Neil gets dragged away to go get screamed at by a little baby bird

Neil: My name is Neil

Riko: Do not lie to me again. You will not enjoy the consequences. Imagine my surprise when the results came back. Your fingerprints, Kathy gave me your glass as a souvenir. All it took was a smile and a kiss. It seems she is growing up to be quite the cougar. Nathanial, explain a few things to me. One, Jean says Kevin did not know who you are. After seeing Kevin's reaction I am inclined to believe him. Perhaps I can understand, as I know how blind Kevin can be when it comes to Exy. I might even forgive him for sheltering you from me. But you must know who you are, so I am very, very curious to know what you think you are doing.

Neil: I'm just trying to get by. If I'd known our families were business partners I wouldn't have signed the contract.

Riko: You're lying

Neil: I am not. I don't want to cause any trouble for your family. I don't want you to cause any trouble for mine. I'm just here for a year and then I'm gone, I promise.

Riko: You don't want to cause any trouble for my family? You have already cost my family a sizable fortune and eight years of trouble.

Neil: How? The money I took was my father's.

Riko: If you think acting stupid will save you, you are sadly mistaken.

Neil: I'm not acting, my mother said it was my father's money. She never even told me about you. If I had known the money was your's—

Riko: Nothing your father owned was his! I refuse to believe she never told you. All that time running and you never asked why?

Neil: Have you met my father? I didn't have to ask.

Riko: You were not running from your father, Nathaniel, you were running from his master. Which brings me to my second question, what happened to your leg?

Neil: Take a wild fucking guess

Riko: (beat) You do realize why don't you?

Neil: Because he's insane?

Riko: You're an even bigger fool than I thought. Running from the master and the money he took, there could have been one thing that paid them off. You, Nathaniel, and yet he chose to take your leg. Your father cost my family a fortune and cut off any way of paying it back.

Neil's head is spinning by the time Matt shows up. He barely remembers the rest of the night, his mind too consumed by Riko's words and the implications of who his father really was.

He takes his leg off on the bus, digging his knuckles into the knotted flesh of his father's work, thinking. He had always known his father was a monster, and this just really put it into perspective.

A text shakes Neil out of his half-asleep state, hand still digging into his knee. A single text is on the screen, from Andrew.

"Shocking, just how many issues such a small body can have."

Neil glares at the back of the bus. "Could say the same thing about you." And that's the end of it

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE COMING SOON!

[helnjk]

A Brief Glimpse - C.W.

Charlie Weasley x fem!reader

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: there’s nothing like the rumors that students can come up with about their favorite teachers. especially when one of them is adamant on keeping her private life, well, private. 

Warnings: brief mentions of meals, one curse word but that’s it

A/N: a purely self-indulgent, fluffy fic inspired by this ask from kendall ( @lupinsclassroom ) who said that if i taught at hogwarts, i’d be the COMC professor! and i love me some good charlie content. this is also kind of a different style that i’m used to, i hope you guys like it! x

–

The top three favorite professors at Hogwarts were as follows: Headmistress McGonagall, Professor Longbottom, and Professor L/N. 

While most students would argue that Professor L/N could potentially overtake Professor Longbottom on that list, there was just so much they didn’t know about her. She was practically the perfect professor; she loved what she taught (Care of Magical Creatures), she was considerate and understanding with students who were struggling with the subject, and her office doors were always open to anyone who wanted to chat. 

Still, she kept her personal life very private and of course, the more she refused to answer their prying questions, the more intrigued the students became. All they knew was that she was one of the top students of her year, she was a Ravenclaw, and she fought at the Battle of Hogwarts years prior. 

There were many rumors going around the student body of Hogwarts about who Y/N L/N was. The most popular ones were that she was actually Headmistress McGonagall’s secret daughter, because of how close the two seemed to be. In reality, Y/N was just one of Minnie’s favorite students. The headmistress often joked how she should’ve been in her house instead of Filius’. 

Meanwhile, Neville was always open with the students, answering whatever questions they had for him, as long as they weren’t crossing the line between professional and personal. They often loved to ask him questions about his friendship with the Golden Trio or his stories of the war. 

“They’re getting more creative with the questions they ask me,” he shook his head, smiling slightly one dinner, “They’re trying to see if I’ll slip up and mention anything juicy about you.”

Y/N laughed slightly, eyes glimmering, “What sort of questions have they come up with now?” 

“Today Chapman asked me if I’d ever spent the holidays with other professors around my age,” Neville mused, “Or if Hannah was ever jealous that I was working with a girl so close to my age.”  

“Oh please, Longbottom,” Minerva tutted, and the two younger professors turned their heads in her direction, “At least your questions still have some sort of delicacy. Griffiths has actually asked me, point blank, if Y/N’s spent her summers with me.” 

The collective guffaw of the professors at the head table caused the majority of the student body to shift their attention to them. Of course, the authoritative looks that they sent at the house tables were able to convince them to get back to their own conversations, but now the Great Hall was abuzz with trying to figure out what made the professors laugh so loud. 

“I wonder when they’ll stop trying,” Y/N mused as the crowd of students began to slowly shuffle out of the Hall.

“Don’t count on it, L/N,” Minerva smirked. 

–

“Professor L/N?” a meek voice sounded from the door to Y/N’s office on Wednesday afternoon. 

The middle of the week was rather free for her, therefore she used it to catch up on grading and, if she had time, a little light reading. This afternoon, though, she was in the middle of writing an important letter. 

Her owl, Athena, perched at the edge of her desk and her scrutinizing eyes darted towards the fourth year Hufflepuff who stood by the door. Eloise Abbott, a shy young thing with a penchant for Care of Magical Creatures and one of Y/N’s best students, sent the intimidating owl an uneasy glance.

“Come on in, Eloise,” Y/N smiled as she slipped the ink and parchment she was using into one of the empty drawers of her table, “Don’t mind Athena, she’s just impatient to get this letter out.” 

The young girl shuffled towards the professor as Y/N asked, “Is there anything you needed?” 

“Erm, I was just wondering if you could check my Defense paper,” she mumbled, pulling out a parchment from her school bag, “It’s on Grindylows and other creatures we could encounter in the Forbidden Forest, and I know it’s not really part of your syllabus, but I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get anything very wrong.” 

Y/N smiled and held her hand out for Eloise to place the essay. It was silent as she read over what was written, that silence only broken when Athena let out soft hoots or ruffled her feathers. 

“Erm, professor,” muttered Eloise after a while, Y/N’s eyes glanced up from the parchment, “I don’t mean to pry, but why does your owl want so badly for you to finish that letter?” 

A soft chuckle came from Y/N’s mouth before she answered, “She just loves the person I’m writing to, and I honestly think she would rather be in his care than mine. Even if it were just for a few nights.” 

“But you’re wonderful with animals!”

“And he is too, I assure you. Maybe even more so than me.” 

Eloise nodded her head slowly, and Y/N could see the gears turning in her head. It perplexed the young student, who could ever be better with animals than her professor? She knew it couldn’t have been Hagrid, as he still lived on the grounds and Athena could visit him any time she wished. 

Maybe her favorite professor was friends with the Scamander family. Rolf Scamander definitely had ties to Hogwarts and seemed about her age. 

Before her thoughts could go any further with hypothesizing, Professor L/N handed her essay back, “It looks great, Eloise. I have no doubt you’ll get high marks on this essay.” 

Eloise could spot a professor’s dismissal anywhere, so she merely nodded as she took the parchment back. As she hurried out the room, she expressed her gratitude over her shoulder, catching Y/N pull out the letter she was writing with a soft smile on her face. 

–

The end of the school week came with a surprise visitor to the castle. The students could not stop discussing the presence of a dragon tamer on the school grounds. He had arrived later in the morning, trudging up the pathway from Hogsmeade and making his rounds around the school.

Headmistress McGonagall greeted him at the gates with a smile and a hug before she took his arm and the two of them had tea in her office. Of course, as the students weren’t used to seeing an adult that wasn’t the faculty or the staff in the castle, his presence sparked many conversations.  

“I saw him knock on Hagrid’s door!” said Neil Chapman to anyone who would listen to him at lunch, “He had some burn scars all over his arms and really bright red hair. He seemed really cool.” 

It was as if the whole Gryffindor table was gathered around him as he told and retold how Hagrid’s booming voice announced that Hogwarts’ resident dragon tamer was back. Rumors floated around the school for the rest of the day, each student having something to say about the mysterious man. 

“He’s gorgeous though, isn’t he?” sighed Daphne Griffiths, as she and her best friend roamed the hallways on the way to their next class, “All rugged and handsome. I caught sight of him walking towards the quidditch pitch after Transfiguration.” 

All the professors had to stop themselves from full-on grinning at the different things they had heard about Charlie Weasley gallivanting around the grounds, but none of them as amused as Professor L/N. 

“Hurry along then!” 

Y/N stood next to a small paddock at the edge of the forest, next to its open gate. At the center of it, a cluster of fluffy creatures rolled around and play fought with each other. 

“Alright class,” she clapped her hands together, “We’re having a little bit more of a relaxed class to end the week. A crup of one of the Hogsmeade villagers just gave birth about a month ago and her owner’s graciously allowed us to spend an afternoon with the puppies.”

The second year students cooed at the litter of small dog-like creatures with two tails. As soon as she finished her sentence, the group of them rushed to get inside the paddock, each one wanting a turn with the small puppy-like things. Once all the students were inside, she shut the gate and joined them as they congregated around the tiny crups. 

Y/N was grateful that her last class of the week was with younger students. They were much easier to please and sometimes more eager to learn. Of course, almost anyone would be enamoured by the litter of puppies running around.

With her wand pointed at her jugular, she began the small spiel she had prepared for the lesson, “Now, as most of you might know, crups are basically magical dogs…” 

Most students weren’t really paying any attention to her little lecture, but she told herself that at least she tried. She understood the need to coo over cute little puppies, she could let it slide just this once. 

From where she stood towards the other end of the paddock from the gate, she had a panoramic view of the class, just in case anything happened. She doubted anything would, but at least that way she could keep everyone in sight. 

“Of all the magical creatures in the world, you chose to teach about crups?” 

A strong voice rang through the open space and caused many of the students to turn their heads at the sound. Somehow, Charlie Weasley had made it to the gate of the paddock without Y/N noticing. Upon seeing the redheaded dragon tamer so close to them, murmurs spread among the young students.

Y/N rolled her eyes, taking in the sight of him with his arms crossed and a smug smile on his face. 

“Oh wipe that smile off your face, Weasley, you try teaching these kids all week,” she replied, raising her voice slightly so that he could hear what she had said. 

“I guess they are quite adorable,” he caved, leaning his forearms against the paddock and seeming as if he was going to observe them their whole class. 

The students observed their playful and easy banter, in awe that their professor knew the ever mysterious man. 

As her wards were still distracted by him, she said, “Pay him no mind class, he’s harmless. The crup puppies need your undivided attention!” 

As soon as the prying eyes were off of him, Charlie sent Y/N a cheeky wink. She couldn’t stop a smile from growing on her face at the gesture, but she shook her head to indicate that they could talk after her class was over. 

“Professor L/N?” a young girl walked up to her, sending a furtive glance over her shoulder to where her friends were gathered. 

The group of them gestured to her to carry on and Y/N’s eyes lit with amusement, “What’s up?” 

“I-er, we wanted to know how you know the dragon tamer guy? The other professors haven’t said much about him when asked.” 

The young student fidgeted nervously, picking at the hem of her sweater as she glanced up at Y/N. Despite being in the rather early years of her journey at Hogwarts, she knew that Professor L/N enjoyed her privacy. She didn’t want to overstep. 

Y/N sensed this apprehension and gave her a soft smile, “We were in the same year at Hogwarts. He was a Gryffindor and I was a Ravenclaw, but we managed to have a few common classes.” 

“Cool!” 

Before anything else could be said, the girl scurried off to meet her friends with the small tidbit of information she was able to gather from the otherwise close-lipped professor. 

Thankfully, the rest of the hour passed by rather quickly. 

As soon as the bell rang, it was obvious to Y/N that the students were stalling. She had dismissed them fairly quickly and had already begun her process of cleaning up. Meanwhile, the majority of the class was still situated inside the paddock, shuffling around in groups. 

Inwardly, she sighed, knowing that there was nothing she could do about it, it was the end of the school week and they were free to roam (or stay) in any part of the grounds and the castle they wanted. 

Inevitably, Charlie had gotten impatient waiting for them to clear out. Instead, he strode confidently through the gate and towards where Y/N was directing the puppies to stay. 

“Charlie? What are you–”

The remaining students, who had been not-so slyly watching the redhead stride through the paddock, all collectively gasped as he pressed his lips firmly on their professor’s. 

Y/N began to weakly protest, the logical side of her brain screaming at her that this was definitely unprofessional, but the emotional side took over as she was surrounded by the scent and the presence of her boyfriend. Her boyfriend whom she hadn’t seen in months and made a special trip to Hogwarts just to see her in her element. 

Thankfully, Charlie pulled away fairly quickly, his arms still firmly wrapped around her body, a dopey smile on his face. 

Once Y/N gained her bearings, she slapped his chest, “Charles Weasley!” 

“What?” he grinned. 

“You’ve just kissed me in front of my students!” 

–

Despite the–shall we say scandalous?–first encounter between the couple, the rest of the afternoon was quite lovely. Y/N showed him all of the creatures under her care and in the section of the forest that was relatively safe. They also borrowed some old brooms from the shed and raced each other out on the pitch until their cheeks were painful from laughter and their noses were red from the cold. 

By the time dinner rolled around, of course the whole student body was aware of what transpired between the handsome dragon tamer and their favorite Care of Magical Creatures professor. 

This was the first piece of juicy information that they had gotten on Professor L/N, and while they were highly amused at what had happened, they were also not surprised that she was dating someone who worked with dragons on a daily basis. 

They also couldn’t deny the fact that she practically lit up in his presence. They had never seen her so at peace and so happy as when she was with Charlie. Anyone with eyes could tell that the pair of them were in love. 

Minerva had also graciously allowed Charlie to sit at the Head Table with the rest of the faculty at dinner, which caused quite the stir. 

Practically all sets of eyes were trained towards the couple as they ate their dinner fairly normally. 

“You two seem to be the talk of the whole school,” the headmistress teased. 

Charlie sent his favorite teacher a shit-eating grin, “Must be my dashing looks that’s got them all interested.” 

“Please, Weasley,” Y/N tutted, “They’ve just gotten a huge piece of information about me. This is basically their Christmas.” 

“Maybe they’ll finally stop hounding me with insane questions now!” Neville chirped happily, and the table erupted in laughter. 

–

General taglist: @expectoevans​ @george-fabian-weasley​ @gxthsanrio​ @slytherinscribbles​ @harpyloon​ @nuttytani​ @mesmerisedangel​ @amourtentiaa​ @sarcasticallywitty15​ 

Charlie taglist: @pinkypurplemagic​

[takerfoxx]

The Sandman, Bonus Episode, "Dream of a Thousand Cats/Calliope," First Impressions!

Well, this was a nice surprise!

Well, okay, not really that much of a surprise for me, as it dropped before I started the show, but even still!

See, one of the problems facing any adaptation of The Sandman is that there are a number of standalone stories, ones that range from being deeply connected to the plot to having no connection at all, but were just cool ideas that Neil Gaiman had. And honestly, I wasn't sure if we were going to get any of them. Like, this is still an expensive show, so why spend the money on an experimental tangent?

Well, apparently Gaiman and the rest of the crew went, "How about I do anyway?" And now here we have an episode comprising two of the short stories from Dream Country, Sandman's third volume and first short story collection.

Calliop actually does make a lot of sense to include, as it is tied to the plot in that introduces the fact that Morpheus was once married and had a son, while also further exploring how his imprisonment changed him. But Dream of a Thousand Cats is a real surprise, as it has nothing to do with the plot at all! Dream is barely in it at all! Like, it's cool, it's creative, it stands out in the mind and makes you think, but it's not what one would call essential to the story.

But they did it anyway, and for that I am thankful. And it's animated as well, which is really cool, and it also continues the original Sandman's comic of constantly switching up the art style. Granted, the Garfield-styled thought-speak was a little jarring. I know it's how they "talked" in the comics, but on screen it's a bit odd. But it wasn't that big of a problem, and it was still cool to see.

That being said, I honestly don't have a lot to say about it, as it's basically a totally faithful adaptation of the story. If you've read Dream of a Thousand Cats, then it gives you exactly that. Though it was neat to see the voice cast comprised of not only many of Gaiman's frequent collaborators, but also the man himself, voicing the dead crow. How appropriate.

But Calliope! Oh, I have a lot to say about this one! And for once, it's actually about the story itself instead of how it stands as an adaptation. Again, it's very faithful. There's been a few things changed. For one, Ric is much more hesitant before forcing himself on Calliope, and we don't actually see the deed itself (thank God), though the chilling shot of the blood mark on his cheek when he finally start writing is still very disturbing and makes it clear exactly what happened.

But other than a few tweaks here and there, it's still a very faithful adaptation of the story. So why am I going to discuss this story on a thematic level when I didn't do the same for the others?

Because this story does click with me in a way that the others don't, and seeing it realized on screen really spoke to me.

See, this is Stephen King-esque case of Writers Writing about Writers Writing. Richard Madoc is a writer struggling through massive writer's block. He had one success, and now everyone expects him to follow it up, from his fans to his agent to the publishers to himself. And he doesn't have any ideas! He can't get the story going! It's driving him mad! And so, out of desperation, he does a terrible thing.

Maybe it's because I'm only just coming off of a really bad case of writer's block myself, but it really did hit me. That part where he's staring at a blank screen while also doomscrolling what other people are saying about him, while wincing at every message asking when the next book is? I've been there. I'm not a published author, but I've still been there, over and over again. Only this week I've had several people reach out wondering when I'm going to update a story I wasn't even working on.

However, there is a huge "but" in here.

And that is, desperate or not, Richard still abuses Calliope. He still imprisons her for his own selfish desires. He still takes advantage of her. He still dehumanizes her. He still violates her. And he never gives her back her freedom. In many ways, he's the dark reflection of William Shakespeare, who also sought supernatural forces to get over his own shortcomings as a writer. But Will simply made a pact with those forces, like Calliope said Richard should. Richard forced the matter.

Calliope is shown to be a real person, not just some abstract idea. She tells this plainly to Richard, makes it clear that she isn't just some resource to be used, that her gifts are gifts, not something to be taken by force. She's had a life. She's been in love. She's been in pain. And that was taken from her. And despite all the years he had her locked up, Richard never bothered to find out the smallest thing about her. He didn't even know that she had a child.

In his success, with the desperation no longer hanging over him, we see what kind of man he really is. He is arrogant, self-absorbed, and self-righteous. He's angry with the woman whom he's violating when she doesn't share his celebration. And let me just say, despite all the criticism this show has taken from being too "woke," it does not pull its punches in calling out performative progressivism. Richard calls himself a feminist, despite actively dehumanizing a woman. He insists on diverse casts and crew, despite, again, violating a real person for his own needs. We've seen several artists who were once upheld as paragons of progressivism come falling down when their hypocrisies were laid bare (*cough*WHEDON*cough*). And while I know that scene was written and filmed before her own fall from grace, that namedrop of Rowling ended up being incredibly appropriate, even if it was by accident.

Everyone here turns in a masterful performance. Arthur Darvill really does capture that quiet desperation and that insufferable hypocrisy that someone like Richard Madoc would embody with eerie perfection. The exhausted resentment and resignation coming from Calliope is plainly evident in Louise Hooper's performance. And Tom Sturridge as Dream continues to be absolutely perfect, where here we get to see his quiet, righteous wrath, and it is terrifying.

Calliope's final note about never forgiving what Richard did to her but still needing to forgive what the man did to her was interesting. Forgiveness is sometimes sloppily handled in fiction, often demanded when it's not warranted. So I like that she made it clear that she will never forgive what Richard did to her, and nor should she, but she also decides to let go of her anger toward him so she can move on. People might debate if that's really the right message here, but I'm glad that they made the distinction.

And we also see how Dream has changed, becoming more compassionate and empathetic thanks to his ordeal. This will definitely be tested come Season of Mists, as his worst moment comes back to haunt him. But until then, I am loving this.

Hey, I know we're not getting Elemental Girl's story, but how about Midsummer Night's Dream? That one's kind of important!

[aviorsgf]

random redacted asmr headcanons (part one):

- once, caelum read The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, and he cried. the book isn’t even sad, but it kept him on his toes THE WHOLE TIME, and the ending just made him sob.

- other than that, i do see him as being very invested in storybooks. fantasy, specifically.

- and his sleep schedule needs some work (poor baby is always on 100- and it always makes it hard for him to sleep).

- i see damien being an excellent cook. like it’s almost a coping mechanism for him. whenever he needs some time to cool off, he’d be in the kitchen coming up with ideas off the top of his head.

- physical affection isn’t really his thing, but he makes up for it with the things he does (acts of service, if you will).

- hux is a journaling type of guy. he may not seem like the type to write his feelings down or the things he did during the day, but it honestly keeps him grounded.

- hux also loves arcades!! (and carnivals/amusement parks). the adrenaline rush there is addictive, and it’s just his favorite place(s) to be.

- sam is into botany. something about plants and flowers just brings him an immense amount of joy that no one would ever believe is possible. sam? into plants? who would’ve thought.

- david really likes candles. like he’s lowkey obsessed with them, but no one ever knows about it because he hides it so well. he really likes fruit scents, like cranberry, frosted lemon, etc.

- it started all when asher bought some to light around the house. and since then, he’s been constantly restocking on his candle supply.

- milo has a major sweet tooth. like, it’s bad. but he keeps his teeth healthy and clean, so he lacks cavities. it’s a wonder.

- milo also really likes stargazing. just looking up at those tiny balls of fire makes him go into a state of pure relaxation. it gives him a measure of peace he didn’t know was posible to acquire.

- milo definitely hates thunderstorms, though. all the chaos in the sky just doesn’t sit right with him. asher has been there with him during some thunderstorms, so he’s always prepared to be there for him when he needs it.

this is only part one!! part two will be up soon :)

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Girl…. Drop those toxic behaviors of Henry’s you love!! btw I find it so cool of her to engage in the community like this the only other author I know to be on tumblr is Neil Gaiman?? I followed her a little while back cause of you and she just seems excited to share stuff and talk about it which you don’t get a lot from published authors, so seeing you two interact makes me more eager to get it (oops) But you said he was on thy mind so we would love to know! Go off! Idk how many people here have read her book but we love YOU and anything you’re interested in so, sorry if you don’t want to just ignore this then! 💋

Oooooo! Okay! Okay, so! I needed to take a few days to really mull this over! I wanted to be thorough and a little deep on what toxic traits in Henry that I personally love. So for the unaware we are talking about Henry Williamson from @xmichaelmyerslmyers or Kate Winborne’s book Blossom which you can find here. I adore this book and its characters and have a hard time shutting up about it! The hardcover version is coming to me soon and I couldn’t be more excited for it, seriously I recc this book fucking hard and just looove Henry! I am also going to start writing for him and have a request in the chamber and have PLANS! Now is the time to get into this book and this man esp with the sequel in the works. Okay, okay, now onto the good shit! 

Henry can be a real judgemental asshole and I honestly love that. As a person who is very much non-judgemental at all, the idea of being with someone who is judgemental enough for the both of us and could entertain me by going the fuck off about what he thinks about some people is gold, I love it. Like yes please tell me everything wrong with that co-worker you hate, verbally rip apart this students paper in the privacy of your office with me, PLEASE-

Dishonesty, lord my lord this man, is he capable of a true, honest moment? Fuck if I know but mannnn would I love to try and make it happen! I am a very honest person, sure everyone lies on occasion but the idea of consciously and consistently doing it interests me greatly, to see it up close and personal in him and try to parse just WHY he is this way is good, so good. Lie, lie and lie some more, I’m gonna eat it up.

Rude ass bitch. Love when that comes out and he can be a bit rude and cutting. When he does it purposefully yes but also when he does it unintentionally! Just says something fucked up that he doesn’t realize how bad it is until it is out of his mouth and then you can’t do anything about it. 

Impulsiveness and recklessness, when he gets an urge and just DOES something without thinking it through?! I JUST-I really, really love it. Edge of my seat all the time watching just wondering what fucking awful shit is he going to do to make a situation or his life worse because he is thinking with his dick or with some other lower baser urge? I DUNNO BUT I CAN’T WAIT TO FIND OUT!

Manipulative! This man can be so fucking manipulative to get what he wants out of someone and I am not above letting him manipulate me at all. I am talking being fully aware of what he is trying to do and looking the other way, letting him think he is influencing me to get what he wants when there is a very good chance that it’s what I want too but fuck it, take a page out of his book, lie, lie, lie and let him think he has the upper hand. Do I want to catch that minute shift in his expression when he thinks he has done that and exerted that level of control in me? Yes, yes I fucking do. 

Quick to anger? Argumentative? Him being angry over the smallest and dumbest things sometimes? Yeah?! YEAH?! What are you gonna do Henry? Hate fuck me? I am praying for it. 

Okay but the top tier, my fave of faves is how hypocritical he is! How upset he can get when he finds out someone has lied to him or is hiding shit when like BABE?! SIR?! YOU DO THAT AS OFTEN AS YOU BREATHE LIKE?!? Make it make sense. Except don't.  

Also just for a quick second, love how gross he is, love that he is a bit arrogant thinking he is hot shit when he engages in so many awful behaviours and tendencies. I also am so into the fact he just doesn’t take care of himself? Man lives off sugar and caffeine and takes horrid care of himself and I see him and just want to make him so, so, so much worse. 

Anything these are like my faves when it comes to Henry being awful and toxic, I adore this selfish fucker so much and would let him do, God, just, the worst shit to me. 

Thank you so much for asking this, thanks to Kate for such a fantastic book and an amazing character. I cannot sing her praises enough! You are so, so right btw, it is amazing having her around and other people to talk about her work. Her and I chat regularly and I love it.

[paradoxolotl]

Come on don’t be shy. Share your fic idea! (Jk but I do wonder if we can look foward to another masterpiece by you?)

Thank you! I mean, ideally, I would finish every idea I have but this is what popped into my head:

Have you heard Travelling Soldier? Because:

Andrew’s working at a diner to put himself through college when a certain red-haired boy walks in the door wearing army fatigues

Neil only orders a black coffee (the menace)

Andrew’s honestly awful at his job because it’s never busy and he just doesn’t care, so he's working through his Russian instead of working

Because there’s only Neil and a couple there and he doesn’t want to talk to anyone from the army 

But Neil overhears him trying to pronounce words and says in perfect Russian: “your pronunciation is shit”

And Andrew is offended because he knows but fuck this guy for pointing it out and being able to speak Russian and look like that

Then Neil offers to help him, but Andrew’s not about to accept help for nothing, so he asks Neil what he wants in return

Just his company and another cup of coffee

So for the rest of his shift, Andrew is practicing his Russian with Neil and when he’s done he realizes he doesn't want to leave yet

So they go for a walk along the pier, Neil bumming a cigarette off of Andrew

Neil tells him he is leaving tomorrow and has no one to come home to

Asks if he can write to Andrew

And Andrew, who finds him interesting and wants to know more, says yes

So they write letters (I love letter stories)

And Andrew is realizing he’s falling for this guy and having a bit of a panic, but it’s okay because nothing will come of it because he’s not really here

But then Neil is talking to one of his squad members (Matt) and he points out that Neil seems really into this guy he’s exchanging letters with

And Neil has a bit of an epiphany

So, he writes to Andrew telling him he won’t be able to answer for a while, but he’ll be coming home soon, and when he does he would really like to take him out on a date.

He tells Andrew exactly what they would do, and how much Neil likes him, but if Andrew doesn’t want to then that’s okay, but he would still like to be friends

The crisis is now at an all-time high

But Andrew lets himself give in to what he wants, just this once and agrees

And waits to hear from Neil again

The next letter comes, but it’s not from Neil

Neil is coming home, but not how they planned

Standing in front of a simple grey headstone, Andrew reads the name of a boy nobody knew

He knew nothing would ever come of it, but he had wanted anyway

[simonsrosebud]

so , what about, like getting older together , realizing that they are working for real, and maybe making it official (for the dalton au)

it’s taken me like 2 days to write this because i needed it to be right...

also i realized i read it wrong and didn’t realize u said “making it official” which i’m guessing is in relation to r*ngs but THIS IS JUST AS MUCH OF A MILESTONE FOR THEM!

kevin makes it a point to visit dalton on the weekend.  his second season with the new york blackhawks is coming to an end soon, and the deadline to make a decision about his contract is sneaking up on him.

but when he showers and climbs into dalton’s bed, he’s not the only one with news.  “okay,” dalton says.  he’s smiling, and sits up opposite of kevin.  “so i love teaching here, but- for me, at least, being three hours away from you has been the hardest thing since we’ve graduated.”  not when the moriyama’s stuffed you in a car?

kevin nods along.  they seem to be on the same page, but he’s wondering where dalton’s going with it.  “so i’ve been lining up some teaching jobs out in new york.”

what?

“can i stop you for a second?”  dalton nods, but his face starts to fall.  “new york wants to renew their contract, but i also have really good offers from south carolina, philadelphia, and florida.”

and dalton laughs and grins.  “oh- that’s amazing!”  but kevin knows what he’s thinking.  we can move halfway between the philadelphia stadium and the university.  it would only be a twenty minute drive for the both of us.

but when dalton’s smile fades again he purses his lips.  “but… you wanna go to south carolina, don’t you.”

kevin drops his head.  “i… i don’t want to ask you to leave your job, dalton.  and your whole family is up here.”

“and yours is all down there.”

kevin sighs.  he’s right, but he still can’t ask dalton to up and leave.  not if he doesn’t want to.  “i don’t know what to do,” he says.  “i’m not breaking up with you over location, that’s stupid.  i knew this kind of thing would happen eventually.”

“kevin.”  dalton grabs his chin between his thumb and pointer finger, and he’s got a soft little smile.  “i lined up jobs in new york to be closer to you.”

“i know and i’m sorry, i should have told you sooner-“

“no- i mean, i was willing to find another job there.  why not somewhere else?”  he pauses.  “if south carolina is your decision, would you let me come with you?”

kevin stares at him for a moment.  “really?”  he starts to smile.

“i did live there longer than you, when you think about it.  liked it for a reason.”  kevin can’t believe he’s willing to do that.  without even a second thought.  “carmen’s in georgia, anyway.  she’d love it.”

and kevin can’t really put into words how happy that makes him, that he won’t have to choose between dalton and his family, his chosen family.  so he tackles him into the mattress instead and lets dalton wrap his legs around his hips.

there’s only one problem left, and it’s been ringing in his head ever since he got new offers for the next season.

south carolina isn’t his highest offer.  the blackhawks renewal contract is, because they need him and because they know how valuable he is.  which is why kevin makes a call the next day.

“kevin day.  last time i spoke to you was in a car.  tell me, what did you do wrong?”

kevin’s heart is beating out of his chest.  “nothing.  i have a proposition, it has to do with my contract.”  when ichirou doesn’t answer he goes on.  “i know what you said about always accepting my highest offer, but at the moment south carolina is just below it and both neil josten and andrew minyard are signing to the team as well this season.  i’ve done the math and the press and publicity that would come of my transfer would ultimately boost my earnings higher than the blackhawks contract, which is why i’d like your permission to accept the offer to south carolina.”

he holds his breath.  it’s a full two minutes before ichirou answers.

“very well.”  and hangs up.

kevin sits stunned.  he pulls the phone away from his ear to make sure that really just happened, then looks to dalton sitting across from him at the table.  dalton raises a brow.

“i guess we’re moving?”

dalton grins.

dalton is more picky about house hunting than kevin would have expected.  apartments are different, and kevin wasn’t able to accompany him for that one.  he supposes he likes his decisiveness.  he knows what he- they want, had it in his notes on every tour.  he knows what’s practical.

there’s only a few things kevin knows he needs.  one or two spare bedrooms for when the foxes or the girls come by.  a big living room and kitchen, windows in every room, so that he doesn’t feel cramped and stuffed in.  after all, he’s still got a bit of claustrophobia left over from growing up in the dark.  literally.

he needs a yard big enough to do workouts and throw some balls around,  big enough for lilly to run around in.  kevin’s kind of excited to be living with a dog again, ever since the one summer he spent watching her.  they have the same amount of energy.

other than that, the rest is all dalton’s work.  they both have the same style, anyway.  kevin likes lavish, but he doesn’t want to live in it.  his apartment in new york is modern as all hell, but it’s never felt like a home.  the dorms?  they almost felt like home.  dalton’s house?  abby’s house?  those were homes.

kevin wants a big soft couch and a kitchen he’s not scared to get messy 24/7.  he wants to hang things on the wall, even though he doesn’t have many decorations he plans on bringing from new york.  the most of what he’s got are pictures from college.  framed photos of the team from their first championship win, a collage dalton made with pictures from graduations and banquets.  other than that, there’s no other decorations he cares to keep but a framed photoshopped diploma for “world’s okayest friend” from neil and andrew for his graduation.

anyway.

they do find somewhere, eventually.  they don’t have a ton of time, and they’re staying at abby’s while they search instead of traveling back and forth.  but they’re growing tired and honestly they feel like a burden on abby, even though they do their best to stay out of the way.

it isn’t until almost a month before preseason starts that dalton calls kevin on his way home from the gym.  “look at the link i sent you.”

so he does.  their realtor sent it to dalton barely seconds before he forwarded it to kevin.

it’s practically perfect.  and kevin’s got the money to spend, so the price doesn’t bother him.  he’d had to point that out to dalton more than once, every time they’d look at a place that seemed pricey he had to remind dalton that he had the money.  that he has more than he needs, even.

to paint a picture in your head:  it’s in a gated community, something else kevin really wanted out of paranoia now that he was going to be living with dalton.  he needed them safe.  needed him safe.

they walk in, and after a short hallway, the house opens up to the kitchen on the left and a big living room to the right.  a dining area sits past the kitchen and behind that, a sliding door to the backyard.

it’s all so bright.  

there’s three bedrooms upstairs including the master, and when kevin walks into the room he turns and holds his arms out.  “do i fit in?”

dalton grins.  “absolutely.”

they get the house.

kevin works some magic to get it sooner, and after they’re all moved in- though with a lot of work left, he leans against the garage.  dalton’s coming up the driveway after saying goodbye to matt and dan who had come along with wymack to help out.  kevin starts for him, and swipes him off his feet.  “hey!”  dalton laughs and clings his arms around kevin’s neck.

kevin carries him through the door.

dan sees it from the car as they drive away, and turns back forward.  “matthew, you didn’t carry me over the door when we moved in!”  she pinches his arm.

meanwhile, kevin tosses dalton onto the bed.  their bed.

dalton grabs his face and pulls him down.  “i love you, day.”

[fleshbarbie]

Same, but different. (Part 2)

Summary: Billy and Reader don’t particularly like each other, Billy thinks you’re a snob with a perfect life, you think Billy is an asshole with anger issues. That’s until the party starts to hang out more at your house, meaning Billy is there more often (because of Max) and that’s when you both find out you’re more alike than you think.

- hi, this is just a little note to say thank you for all the feedback i received on the first part to this! i was honestly a little nervous about posting my writing on here for the first time but you were all so nice and didn’t let it flop. i have seen all the comments i’ve gotten, and i’m still trying to get used to tumblr so i haven’t replied BUT i’ve paid attention to who asked to be tagged on future parts (including this one) and they have been tagged! i hope you enjoy reading this one, it isn’t too long or interesting but i wanted to get something up semi-quick as a thank you for all the attention on the last one. :)!

-

It was quiet at the Hargrove/Mayfield household, which was rare. To Billy’s pleasure, neither of his parental figures were at home which meant he didn’t have to be on edge at all times as he awaited Neil’s inevitable rage that was always aimed at his son. Instead it was only himself and Max who occupied the house that they had moved into just over six months ago now. Billy was in his room, blasting out some music that shook his poster covered walls whilst Max closed herself away in her own room and distracted herself with whatever work she had to complete for school tomorrow. That’s how it always was between the two whether their parents were at home or not. The only times they really interacted was when both of them were forced to endure an awkward family dinner, but luckily it didn’t happen too often and for that they were both grateful.

Billy stubbed out his third cigarette into the old plate that rested on top of his drawers, and looked into the mirror with a sigh. He was bored and restless. If he hadn’t been forced with the duty to look after his step-sister he’d probably be out at a party right now, or getting high with Tommy and his goons. He didn’t particularly like Tommy, only kept him around for his own amusement but he’d rather be listening to the idiotic words that stumbled out of the boys mouth than spend another minute in his own personal hell. The only thing that prevented Billy from walking out of the front door right now was the consequences he’d rather not suffer through for leaving Max by herself.

Not having anything else to do to keep him occupied, his thoughts drifted to you. Neither of you had spoken since he had given you his number earlier in the day, but for some reason the scene kept replaying in his head. He hadn’t really noticed you before, not in the way he had then. He saw the clear exhaustion and stress in your bare face and it surprised him that he hadn’t noticed it before, though of course the two of you had never really had a real conversation before - unless you counted the numerous petty arguments you had as real conversation’s.

It bothered him more than it should, because he didn’t know why you looked so defeated. And he didn’t know why he cared so much. He always assumed you had the perfect life, which was down to the fact he’d seen you hanging around with Nancy Wheeler on more than one occasion and everyone knew she was best known as the ‘Princess of Hawkins’. But Nancy never looked so fed up, or did he just think that because he never paid attention to the eldest Wheeler sibling?

His blue eyes drifted to the wooden door that was placed to his right, he knew if he wanted to know more about you there was one person who could give him answers and she was sitting in the same house. Max spent more time at your house than her own, he didn’t understand what the appeal was. Surely your sister wasn’t that fun to be around, people get bored of each other eventually. Knowing he wasn’t going to be able to rest at all if he didn’t at least try to get some answers, he approached his door with a frustrated huff.

He made his short journey to Max’s bedroom door, and debated on whether to knock or walk straight in. Even if he didn’t care much for his new sibling (which was what he told himself, but deep down he knew he was lying), he was aware if he just barged in she was less likely to talk to him so he swallowed his pride and raised his knuckles to send three loud knocks to her door. Silence followed, he assumed she was ignoring him which didn’t surprise him so he got ready to do it again, only this time he planned on giving her some attitude for being so ignorant.

However, before he had the chance the door opened and Max’s head poked through the small gap she had created.

“What do you want?”

Ignoring her harsh tone, he answered her question. “I just wanna ask you some stuff, about (Y/N). She’s Alice’s sister right?”

The redhead nodded, an obvious look of confusion now present onto her freckles features.

“Yeah. Why?”

“How come you’re always over there? It’s weird. Don’t they get sick of you?”

Max wanted to shout at him for wasting her time, and question why he bothered disturbing her just to ask stupid questions but she noticed the seriousness of the topic through the tone of his voice, and the fact that his usual smirk wasn’t present. It wasn’t him coming to her just to be mean, he actually wanted to know why.

“I don’t know? It’s fun there. If we go to anyone else’s house we usually get kicked out by their Mom or Dad for being too loud.” She shrugged, pushing her door a little further open. “At Alice’s we don’t get yelled at, just as long as we don’t touch anything important.”

Billy nodded slowly, his brows furrowed. “What about Alice’s parents? They don’t get mad when you’re loud?”

“Well she doesn’t have a Dad- I mean she does but he died when she was a baby or something like that. And her Mom isn’t there when we are, I’ve never seen her. Alice doesn’t talk about her.”

Billy didn’t reply after that, he took time to process the information he’d just received and Max stood their still confused as to why he wanted to know any of it. He’d never seemed interested before, never asked her anything about the (Y/L/N)’s, he’d honestly never seemed interested in any of her friend’s apart from Lucas but that was never a good thing she was quick to learn.

“So, is that it? Or..”

Billy snapped back to reality, he waved his hand in a dismissive manner letting her know she was no longer needed. She didn’t bother saying anything back just closed her door and continued the work she was doing before she was interrupted. Billy retreated back to his room, closing the door behind him. He turned down his music a tad so he could focus on his thoughts and laid back on his bed, his hands behind his head.

He was smarter than he let everybody think, and it wasn’t hard for him to connect the dots. If your Dad had died when Alice was a baby, and your Mom was never to be seen, you were obviously the one to take care of the house as well as everybody in it. That’s why you always looked ready for a three day nap, you were overworked. He couldn’t imagine what it was like having to deal with all that, I mean of course he had his own problems to put up with but to him, that didn’t compare to what you were experiencing. You were a teenager, this was when you were supposed to be out with your friends, having fun, being reckless, your biggest problems being your grades. Instead you were stuck with the job of raising your little sister and making sure you still had a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back.

And honestly, now that he thought more about it, he had never seen your Mom either. She was never there when he came to get Max, it was always you at the door glaring at him for being moody. There was never a car in the driveway, never a glimpse of her in the window as she walked by, he didn’t even see any pictures of her hung up on the walls like most families had. It was weird to him. He felt bad for just assuming you had the best life, with no worries or problems to deal with. But why did it get to him so much? You two weren’t even friends.

He spent so much time wondering why he cared, that he didn’t realise he was growing tired, he didn’t even realise he’d fallen asleep until the loud bang of his door colliding with his wall woke him up with a fright and in front of him stood a pissed Neil Hargrove.

“Where is Max?”

-

Tag List. 

@imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​

@baker151910​

@flower-child2021​

@bi-andready-tocry​

[boredfanwrites]

Love, Simon Harringrove AU

I'm sorry (not really) this is probably a bit long but I've already started writing this fic and these are just outline bullet points.

Anyway, what I mean is after a short reprieve following the submission of my assignment: I'm back and please take this poor persons Harringrove AU.

First - Billy isn't as big of an asshole (my AU so I say so).

Second - modern day, pretty much exactly the same setting as Love, Simon.

Third - Neither of them have their cars, this is important later.

Fourth - I have complete control over characters so if I say Barb lives, Barb lives.

Moving on.

Steve is Simon, Billy is Brahm but also not really.

Steve is the one to kick things off, he places an ad in their school paper, not blog because he knows fewer people read the papers and the kind of people Steve wants to meet are the kind that pick up the papers.

He intends to communicate through the ads but the editor adds the email address he'd created to send in the submission.

Hi, lets get things straight: I'm not. I'm gay. I'm not expecting advice or a congrats or whatever. Hell you don't even need to publish it. I just, I needed to get it off my chest somewhere. I've spent my whole life either not knowing, or hiding when I realised. I don't know why I'm even doing this. I don't wanna be alone anymore, I think that's it. I can't be alone. I'm gay, that's normal, I'm fine the way I am. I'm sick of hiding, but I don't think I'm ready to truly come out.

In comes Billy, reading Steve's little piece, obviously not knowing its Steve. And against his better judgement Billy finds himself writing a reply.

I'm like you. Gay that is. I've known since I was thirteen and I kissed a boy in the bathroom of a dingy movie theatre. I've been hiding ever since. I've always been scared of what it meant. But maybe I'm not so alone. If you want a friend in this, I can be one.

It's the first time Billy's admitted it out loud, even if it is only on an electronic document. It's his first admission that he's not the son his father wants him to be so desperately.

Max is still his step-sister, but he gets along with her far better in the AU. She's still a little shit of a sister but she knows when to back off and Billy knows to not take his anger out on her. It's not her fault.

They don't have a good sibling relationship in the slightest but they're doing ok.

Steve still drives around the nerd herd. Still babysits Dustin - though it's less babysitting more making sure he doesn't accidentally kill himself.

Steve reads through the reply, the only reply he'd gotten and he's thankful. He wanted a friend so badly. He had Robin, of course, they were both gay but it was kinda difficult to give each other advice, dating or general LGBTQ+, when they didn't like the same gender. Steve could give a few tips but his track record left nothing to be desired. And Robin barely interacted with boys.

Steve has Jonathon and Nancy, but they don't know so it's not the same. Not really. Besides they're usually too coupley to give a shit about his poor sad single life half the time.

Billy and Steve are hesitant friends, they're both friends with Jonathon so are civil to each other, they're around each other a lot but they're not friends.

So Steve writes something back, and so does Billy. They ask the stereotypical icebreaker questions: favourite foods, colours, places etc. But they both want to dig a little deeper.

After a few emails, Steve suggests fake names to sign off with, a way to get closer.

Billy agrees but only if they can be named after their absolute dream cars - Billy is stuck driving Neil's beaten down pile of crap and needs to remind himself what he's working towards.

So they become Beemer and Camaro and boy does Billy have a field day with Beemer.

Regardless, having names to address each other by leads them to open up more. The person on the other side of the screen becoming more real.

Steve talks about how he's not doing so good academically but he wants to be, he's trying but it's never enough. How nothing is ever good enough for his parents but they're never around to see him either.

He mentions that there's this kid he looks after and how he's basically the little brother he never had and how much his mom wants to adopt him. Steve admits if it wasn't for appearances he's sure his parents would jump at the chance.

Billy admits that as much as he can get along with his stepsister she can be such a little shit. He's supposed to look after her but 'she's 13 for god's sake, she has her own mobile phone, and I can't do anything' and how his dad will beat on him if she's not home by a certain time.

It frustrates Billy to no end because even she's home by curfew she'll offhandedly mention something else that Billy did that his dad didn't like him doing. His dad finds a lot of reasons to punch Billy black and blue.

Steve finally gets given his own walkie and he feels honoured. He uses it to communicate with everyone, but Dustin informed him there's a special channel just for Steve that is one on one if the others ever need him and only him. Steve teared up a little bit.

Billy's been happier than ever talking to Beemer and Neil notices, starts finding even smaller reasons: not placing his plate in the dishwasher, not picking up after Max, not helping Susan unpack the groceries (he wasn't even home, how was he supposed to know?).

Max isn't an idiot. And one night she hears a resounding thud and Neil storming off and the shattering of glass. An engine rumbles and roars down the street. Max races into Billy's room, only to find the boy unconscious on the floor. She screams for her mom but Susan pretends not to hear, so she does the only other thing she can think of.

Steve has been having worse bouts of insomnia so he's awake, trying to be productive when his walkie goes off. Imagine his shock and horror when Max’s voice heaves out between sobs that Billy isn’t waking up. So of course he grabs his keys and goes running.

Billy wakes up to Max’s heavy breathing and an unfamiliar pressure just below his left eye. He struggles to open them but then hears a familiar voice telling him to ‘relax, don’t force it. You’re gonna have a great shiner in the morning but other than that you’ll be ok.’ And Billy knows that voice, that’s Harrington. Why is Harrington in his house?

An hour later, both eyes open and a few scratches patched up, Billy and Steve sit on the end of his bed, Max on the floor in front of them. None of them say anything, but Steve holds out a pinky to Billy and Billy takes it.

A few days after Steve takes a moment to think. Camaro said his dad beats on him. Unless Billy got in a fight earlier and it was a delayed reaction it could only be his dad.

So Steve tests the waters, admittedly his most stupid mistake.

I was trying to be productive a few nights ago. You know how my insomnia is getting. Anyway one of the friends of the kid I babysit called me and said her brother wasn’t waking up. I go over there, patch him up and then we don’t really say anything else. I’m glad my first aid training came in to play, lord knows I’ve patched the kids up too many times. But it was the weirdest experience of my life, honestly.

Camaro drops off the face of the earth. So does Billy. The only reason Steve knows he’s alive is because both Jonathon and Tommy text him updates from time to time. Tommy doesn’t go into detail, doesn’t really give a shit, just a thumbs up whenever he sees Billy.

But Jonathon. Steve is very thankful for Jonathon’s friendship. He tells Steve whenever there’s a new mark on him, how Hopper picked him up and Joyce had bailed him out. How Will was getting along with Billy so well since he’d camped out on their couch a few weeks ago.

It’s been so long. Months. And Steve is so lonely. Even before Camaro, he didn’t realise how much he and Billy actually interacted, how much time they’d spent together. It was back to just Steve and Robin. Which wasn’t bad, but wasn’t the same. Steve had given up hope.

Look. I know we know who each other is now. I know that’s not good English, I’ve had a couple beers so forgive me, King Steve. I like talking to you, I really do. But I meant it when I said I was scared. I can’t do this. Just give me a week or two, I’ll be back in school and we can go back to how it was. I’m sorry.

Steve doesn’t think it can go back to how it was.

Billy doesn’t want to go back to how it was. He doesn’t want to lose Steve now that he has him. But his body felt like it was falling apart most days. The only reprieve was the few nights every couple weeks he spent on the Byers’ couch. Even if he did get a worse beating after.

Steve tries to make life easier on Billy in the ways that he can. Brings Max back at least fifteen minutes before curfew, he offers to help Susan here and there when he sees her, offers to babysit Max if he’s looking after the rest of the nerd herd.

Neil likes him, Steve hates Neil. But he never sees Billy.

It comes to a head one day. Steve has to pick up Dustin when he hears arguing. Heading out to the back he sees Max stomping about, yelling at Billy and god, Billy just looks tired. So Steve heads over, places himself between the two and tells Max to wait with Dustin in the car.

He turns to Billy, sees his glassy eyes, and sees how much weight Billy has lost. And did all of this stem from him and Billy not talking or was there more.

Billy takes one look at Steve and breaks. He babbles nonsense about how he would never hurt Max, would never lay a finger on her. Steve shushes him, carefully placing his hands on Billy’s shoulders. Billy doesn’t notice.

Steve wonders where it came from, what was going through Billy’s head. He pulled him closer until Billy’s hands fisted in his shirt, a patch on Steve’s chest dampening.

I really fucking like you. You’re so good. And I’m scared, I’m so scared.

Billy. I really fucking like you too. It’s ok that you’re scared. I get it. I just want us to try. It doesn’t have to be now. It’s only ever gonna be when you’re ready but I’m going to be here.

Billy has only ever wanted someone who tried. Someone who was going to stick around for him. There Steve was, making promises. Being way too good for Billy.

Steve doesn’t let him go.

There’s gonna be a few scenes in the fic that weren’t mentioned, mostly because I will be writing this fic at some point and I want a few mysteries and extra stuff. Likewise for the emails, they’re all gonna be included.

Also, currently I’m not sure I like the ending, I was planning on doing a few fluffy, epilogue one-shots once the fic is done but I don’t know whether to keep the ending I’ve got or whether to stick more closely to the Love, Simon (Steve trying to do something big and public etc.). But for now, take what I have and be on the lookout for either the first instalment or just one long-ass fic in the near future.

[thenightling]

My opinion on some of the Netflix Sandman rumors

We fans don’t have much in the way of substantial news about The Sandman Netflix series.  All we have are rumors and gossip.   I have compiled some of the rumors here along with my opinions on those rumors.  Consider this a disclaimer.  I am only a fan.  I do not have any inside info.   All the rumors here are ones that can easily be found on various sites online.   Now to begin...

Rumor: Morpheus will be captured in 1916 but will not escape until present day.  

This rumor has been confirmed true by Neil Gaiman on his Tumblr account and other Social media websites.  In my opinion this was wise because it enables Morpheus’ capture to continue to overlap with the real-world sleeping sickness outbreak of Encephalitis Lethargica.  

Rumor:  Michael Sheen is playing Lucifer.

This rumor was debunked months ago by Neil Gaiman but I surmised that the one who started the rumor had found out he was playing Lucifer for The Sandman audio drama and had gotten confused.  I was right.   I DO however suspect Michael Sheen and possibly David Tennant will have roles in The Sandman Netflix series, just not the same role Michael Sheen had in the audio drama.

My Opinion: I’m all for Michael Sheen having a role in The Sandman Netflix series.  Him and David Tennant.  

Rumor: Doug Jones is going to be in The Sandman as a supporting character.

This rumor comes from two clues.  The first being that Neil Gaiman has spoken about his like of Doug Jones and Guillermo Del Toro almost did a Sandman adaptation with Doug as Morpheus.  Doug Jones even brought this up recently, which suggests that the subject might be on mind.   

My opinion:  Doug is an excellent character actor and I want this to be true.  He should be in Sandman.  I love Doug. And there are plenty of characters he could play.  Lucien, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Doctor Destiny, various nightmares.   

Rumor:  Liam Hemsworth or Dacre Montgomery will play The Corinthian.

Opinion: I like Liam Hemsworth.  He deserves a shot but Dacre is also good.

Rumor:  Tom Sturridge is playing Morpheus.

Opinion:  I am 90% sure this rumor is true. There are a number of sources claiming the same thing.  Also just google how the man looks.  I think he’ll do a fine job.  I thought Oliver Farnworth would have been excellent too but I’m sure Tom Sturridge would be fine. 

Rumor:  The Netflix Sandman series will see Dream take many forms including a female form.

Opinion:  This isn’t really new.  We saw Dream’s feminine side in Overture.  If it bothers you to see Morpheus might have a feminine side, you probably shouldn’t be watching something like Sandman anyway.

Rumor:  Death will be played by a black woman.

The source of this rumor comes from Neil Gaiman saying something about loving the actress chosen for Death but feeling some people will complain.

Opinion:   ...So?   She’s an Endless.  She can look any way she wants.  I would have liked to have seen Jamie Chung in the role though.  She voiced her for the Death short that accompanied the Wonder Woman: Bloodlines Blu Ray.

Rumor:  Morpheus’ extended capture will effect his reunion with Hob.

My opinion:  Uhhhh Duh.

Honestly though this makes me VERY curious as to how their reunion will play out. I hope it is just as sweet as the comic. 

Rumor:  The Corinthian will appear fairly early in the series and even advise Roderick Burgess how best to contain Morpheus.

Opinion: Well, according to the leaked Corinthian audition this is true.  I don’t mind it at all.  It makes sense. It fits.

Rumor:  Alexander Burgess’ story is now more sympathetic and he as well as his father will age slower because of Morpheus’ capture.

Opinion:  This seems likely based on certain leaks.  And I kind of hope this means Morpheus will be able to punish Roderick and not Alex.

Rumor:  Alex will now have an older brother who died during World War 1, a brother that Roderick preferred, and he takes out his grief on Alex in abusive ways. it also gives Roderick a new motivation for wanting to capture Death.

Opinion: This is likely true based on certain leaks from last February.  I have mixed feelings about this because sometimes parents are just assholes.  They don’t need a tragic loss to set off their abusive behavior.  It also made Roderick worse (in the comics) that he treated his only (known) son the way he did. It’s been recently established in the comics that John Dee was actually Alex’s half-brother.  I guess it all depends on how this is done. 

I also don’t think Roderick needs to be grief stricken in order to want to control Death.   This is a cliché, a cliché we saw in Disney’s Gargoyles and even in Hercules and Xena.  Someone loses someone they love and tries to capture Death in order to bring them back.  Roderick doesn’t need this trope.  He was an occultist who wanted to be a big shot in the world of early twentieth century magick users. In my opinion that should be enough but I’ll keep an open mind. 

Rumor:   They were supposed to start filming in May but it was delayed to late October because of Covid.  

This one is true.

Opinion:  Hurry up!

Rumor:   Roderick Burgess has no real magick in the show.

Opinion: Sadly this is likely true based on a character description leak from the casting call.  I shall miss seeing Sykes’ head explode...  Honestly I kind of hope this is wrong.  I’m tired of magick being diminished in comic book TV and film.   

Rumor:  The first season of Sandman will combine Preludes and Nocturnes with The Doll’s House.

Opinion:  This is likely true.  I’m fine with it.  It might flow better for TV this way.

Rumor:   The “A game of you” storyline will have trans people writing.

Opinion:  This makes sense  And this is pretty much already confirmed true.

Rumor:  The Netflix show will have the same cast as the audio drama.

Opinion: Though I would not mind this, I know it is not true. This is likely the result of an IMDB listing for the audio drama mistakenly calling it a show and some fans mistaking that IMDB page as being the one for the Netflix series.

Rumor: The Netflix Sandman series is canceled and the audio drama is all we’re getting.

This rumor is absolutely false!    It’s a stupid rumor made by those who had no idea the audio drama was happening before the pandemic even hit.   The audio drama is not compensation because there will not be a Netflix show.  Both will exist.

Opinion:  Shame on those leaping to this conclusion and spreading it as fact. 

Rumor: A character named “Ann” is being cast and she’ll be a major recurring character. 

Opinion:  I’ve seen this sort of thing before.  It’s how you hide what character they are trying to cast.  Clearly this is a major female character for the show and probably was a name used as a place holder for Death of The Endless or even Rose Walker.  I’m not too concerned about this.  Some fans are upset and already raging that they’re making up a new character just for the show, ala Chloe Decker in Lucifer.  I don’t think there’s anything to worry about here.

Rumor:   Tom Ellis will not be playing Lucifer.

Opinion:  Tom Ellis has wanted to move on from Lucifer for a while.  He wants season six of Lucifer to be its last.   Let him move on. Neil Gaiman also wants his Lucifer to be different from the Lucifer TV show version.  The Lucifer TV series deviated heavily from the comics and it might confuse people with the big differences in lore.  It is probably for the best that Tom Ellis not play Lucifer.

Rumor:  The Sandman is why Lucifer is being canceled.

Opinion: No.  Lucifer has been canceled three times now. In fact the first time it was canceled The Sandman TV series had not been picked up by Netflix yet.  Lucifer has had six seasons.  For a paranormal police procedural that’s a good, long, run.  Not everything can be Supernatural.   Forever Knight (and most shows of that type) only had three seasons.  Lucifer out lived the norm for its type of show and survived two cancelations.   Let it go.   Do not blame Sandman.  The Sandman is what gave us Lucifer, not took it away.  The Sandman is where the story of Lucifer quitting, opening Lux, and taking up piano came from. 

Rumor:  The Sandman is the most expensive show DC has ever made.

According to Variety this is true.

Opinion:  It probably has to be expensive.  Look at all the stuff they need to show us, the sets and special effects needed.

Rumor:  Lucien might be played by a woman.

Apparently this rumor started because some of the Morpheus auditioners let slip that they auditioned with a woman as Lucien.   

Opinion: I’m not sure how I feel about this.  I love the character of Lucien.  A a woman version might take a little getting used to. I don’t hate the idea, I just prefer how he appears in canon.   Further note, I kind of hope he has a full head of hair like he does in the recent comics.  There is a very high chance she was just reading his lines since at the time the role being cast was Morpheus, not Lucien.

Rumor:  The Sandman could air as early as Summer of 2021.

Opinion:  *Insert bitter laugh here.* I wish...

Rumor:   Alexander Burgess is gay.

Opinion: And in other news water is wet!

Rumor: Desire will be played by someone who identifies as Genderfluid or nonbinary.

Opinion: This is very likely true.

[yikesharringrove]

I just want to say that I would read a whole BOOK of this if you wrote it 😂 I love it so much! I was wondering if anything ever came of Neil living in California too? I know billy said he would talk to hopper so I thought that he might bring it up while they’re in Hawkins if he hadn’t already. If billy had already mentioned it maybe hopper would check in about it?

Masterlist

Part 24

-

We’re going back in time! This part takes place RIGHT after Part 16

-

“There’s definitely something we can do.”

Billy had made good on his promise to call Hop about Neil, ask what steps they could take to keep their families safe.

“He threatened your life, and assaulted your husband. Everything with your emancipation should be public record now too, and those detail the abuse he put you through. If you file for a restraining order, you can have him arrested for any violation of grounds, so if you say he can’t contact any of you or come within one hundred feet or something, then if he violates that, you can have him arrested pretty much immediately, he doesn’t have to get violent or do anything.”

Billy was writing everything down as Hop outlined how to go about filing one.

“California laws may be different, but if anything, they’ll probably be better for you. I do know that Indiana you can take legal action against an alpha that assaults a bonded omega, which would definitely be something to look into. Make sure to take a picture of Steve’s bruising, it’s best if you have today’s newspaper in the picture to so that there’s a concrete date. California juries are probably made up of more liberal people and Steve’s gender and presentation hopefully won’t be an issue.”

“But you think there’s a chance a jury could fuck us over because he’s a male omega?”

“I won’t say it could never happen, but you have less of a chance of that going down in Southern California than Indiana.”

“Okay, I’m going to take a dated picture of Steve’s bruising, then we can go to the courthouse on Monday to file everything. I’m going to file for a restraining order against him, whatever I can get, but I think something that prevents him from coming near us or contacting us. Do you know long that’ll take to go through?”

“Well, once you file all the necessary documents, including records of your emancipation and details of abuse, you’ll get a temporary protection order until everything goes through and he gets served. Billy, I honestly have no doubt that you’ll get the restraining order. Further legal action right now may be tricky, but this will keep your family safe.”

“Thanks for all your help, Hop. We’re gonna make this happen. Give some love from us to everyone.”

“You give my grandbaby a hug from me.” Billy laughed.

“Will do, Hop. Thanks for everything.” He hung up the phone.

“Stevie?” He was in Mina’s bedroom, playing on the floor with her wooden animal peg puzzle.

“Mango, what does a cow say?” Billy watched in the doorway, soft smile on his face.

“Moo!” She took the cow out of Steve’s hand, putting it clumsily in it’s spot.

“Amazing! The smartest mango in the whole world!” Billy sat down nest to Steve. “What does a pig say?” She got up to sit in Billy’s lap, taking the pig from Steve to jam in the puzzle with an oink! “What did Hop say?”

“He’s super confident we can get a restraining order. He said further legal action would be tricky right now, since we don’t have a lot of evidence and stuff, but restraining order should be easy and would apply to all three of us. We just have to take a picture of your arm.” Steve nodded. Mina was holding up a cat, looking at Steve saying meow!

“That’s right, Mango! Cats say meow! And do they need anything else?”

“I assume you’ll have to give a written testimony of what happened yesterday and Hop said including my emancipation records would help since there’s pictures and testimonies of abuse in that.”

“I mean, that seems easy enough. What does a doggy say?”

“Woof!”

“Nice, Mango!” Billy gave her a highfive. “I think we could do it on Monday, give us a few days to get those records.”

“Yeah, I think as soon as possible. What’s that, Mina Bea?”

“A duck! Quack!” She flipped over the finished puzzle, getting all of the animals out of their spots to do it all again.

“How many times has she done this?”

“About seven.”

[elsb-hrngtons]

The Seaside Blues Cafe

Hello Lovelies so this was an absolutely gorgeous prompt form Rhythm_Smith 

so i received this absolutely gorgeous prompt from Rhythm_Smith for HfBLM:

Several years after cannon (with a s3 divergence where Neil is the one possessed by the mind flayer ) Steve and Billy own a cafe by the beach called The Sea Side Blues Cafe and Billy proposes.

i really hope you like it, its given me all the warm fuzzies writing it!

please call see this wonderful moodboard @gideongrace made for it <3 

links to Ao3 in the notes.

June 1995

Somewhere just off of the broadwalk near Santa Monica Pier is a little cafe, inside there are a mismatch of tables and chairs, bean bags and bookshelves that line nearly every wall, fairy lights strung across the ceiling casting the cosy interior in dazzling colour. Chalkboards take up the wall behind the counter, with the daily specials scribbled on in a  multi-coloured scrawl, where there are not bookshelves there are posters with sayings like ‘Love is Love” and “respect the rainbow”. Outside under where the awning casts much needed shade from the relentless Californian sun are two sets of tables and chairs, each complete with an ashtray and menus, between them is a black A-board that reads with big fancy letters “ALL ARE WELCOME” “Live Music Every Saturday”. Business was booming.

Billy and Steve have worked hard to get where they are, it hasn’t always been easy, but then they both know more than anyone else things worth having rarely ever are. They’ve been together since Starcourt, when Neil possessed by the mindflayer almost killed them all, and Billy in a blaze of glory risked everything to take him down. When the dust had settled and Billy was left lying on the cold tile floor of the food court, impressive wounds to his sides and chest, miraculously having missed any vital organs, blood pooling around him, Steve couldn’t help but chastise him for risking himself like that.

“I couldn’t let him win pretty boy”

“You’re so stupid Billy, you could have died”

“Not dead, Just hurt, how about you kiss it better?”

And Steve did.

The rest so they say is history, once Billy was released from hospital, with a large pile of NDA’s to sign and an impressive payout of hush money/compensation from the good old US government, he wasted no time in telling Steve exactly how he felt, and for the first time in his godforsaken life, something went his way, because Steve as it happens felt the same way. It’s not long after that they pack up their belongings and drive west, drive home.

The years to follow are filled with so much joy, love and laughter, two boys who’s orbits crashed into each other, inseparable now, unable to live without the other even in the midst of petty arguments.

It was with Billy’s government money they were able to send Steve to culinary school, where he excelled at Pastry, and with Steve’s baking prowess and Billy’s creativity they opened their own business, a little cafe called the Seashore Blues Cafe,  just off the broadwalk near Santa Monica Pier.

It’s just another morning in the small corner of the world they’ve built for themselves, the sun is shining high in the sky, breeze rolling off the sea as Billy wanders down from their apartment above the cafe to help Steve open up shop. Steve’s already been up and working for a few hours, lovingly creating all his delicious treats to sell to their customers that day. The cafe smells like freshly brewed coffee with hints of vanilla and cinnamon, and as Billy walks out from their little kitchen out back and through to the front of house he’s struck in awe at just how beautiful Steve really is. He’s sat at table by the window, mid morning sun streaming through shrouding Steve in a halo of light, his soft brown hair flops over his face which has specks of flour dusted on his cheeks, silver wired glasses balance precariously on the bride of his nose, he’s got a pile of their mail on the table and he’s reading something, cute little crease between his brow as he studies the words in front of his face. As Billy approaches closer he notices the letter in question is embossed with gold leaf calligraphy, fancy. Whatever he’s reading it looks to be something important, and Steve doesn’t seem too pleased to be reading it at all.

“What  you got there pretty boy?” Billy asks which startles Steve who clearly didn’t hear Billy walk in, he looks up and gives Billy a tight lipped smile as he hands over the offending piece of paper. Billy glances over it and sure enough in big shimmery cursive it reads ‘ Together with their parents Nancy Elizabeth Wheeler and Jonathan Christopher Byers invite you to join them in celebrating their marriage’ so its a wedding invitation that has Steve looking so glum.

“Mazel Tov” Billy deadpans

“Yeah” Steve sighs

“I mean it’s good news right? Wheeler finally making an honest man out of Byers and all” Billy questions as he slides onto the chair next to his boyfriend and gives him a chaste good morning kiss.

“I mean yeah it great, it’s really great, fantastic really” Steve begins to ramble “but..”

“But you’re still sore about Wheeler ditching you for Johnny boy?” Billy asks, it’s not at all mean and Billy is long past being outwardly insecure about Steve’s past relationships, but he can’t help but feel that old familiar pang of jealousy and suspicion make a home in his chest, always worried that this little slice of heaven they’ve carved out of near on a decade of hard work and prejudice will never be enough for Steve, that he will never be enough for Steve.

“No no that’s not it.. It’s just” Steve seems to falter, can’t find the words to say can’t do his feelings justice with the spoken word.

“It’s just what baby?”

“Doesn’t it make you sad?”

“Does what make me sad?”

“You know.. That we can’t have that” Steve snatches the invitation out of Billy’s hand and throws it across the table, Billy watches as it slides straight off and floats gracefully to the floor, gold lettering catching the light, glinting and shining mocking Steve as he begins to wine and tug at his hair, something he started doing whenever he got stressed of worked up. Billy takes hold of Steve’s wrists, makes sure his grip is loose and gentle so Steve can pull away if he wishes to do so, he doesn’t, Billy brings his hands down in front of them both on the table and places both his over Steve’s holding them, rubbing soothing circles onto the backs of Steve’s hands with his thumbs.

“I mean it sucks for sure, but there’s not much we can do about it, no point dwelling on it” Billy tries his best to be gentle to be soft, its what Steve needs in this moment, Steve huffs out a sigh and stands up, brushing the creases out of his apron as he goes.

“Yeah i guess you’re right, c’mon let’s get this place open” Billy watches as Steve disappears into the kitchen, when he’s out of sight he gathers the rest of the mail, stoops down to pick up the discarded invitation, assesses it once more and as he reads the RSVP details he’s struck by inspiration. He places the invitation to the back of the pile and can’t help the smirk on his face as he wanders around the counter to switch on all their lights.

---

“So let me get this straight” Max says down the phone her tone incredulous and honestly Billy can’t blame her, what he’s asked of her is a pretty mean feat “ you want me to somehow gather the party and drag them all the way to California and not tell them why?”

“Exactly” Billy is standing behind the counter of the cafe, his side turned to the hustle and bustle of the dining area, where their patrons sit chatting happily, while Lucy, their waitress goes between tables taking orders and checking in. Billy curls the cord of the wall mounted phone around his finger, he’s antsy Steve’s due back from running errands and could walk through the front door any minute now, he keeps one eye on the door and jumps slightly every time the bell above it jingles.

“And you want me to make sure no one tells Steve we’re coming?”

“Yep.”

“And how please tell me dear brother, do you expect me to do that?” Billy used to flinch whenever anyone referred to him as Max’s brother, but after years of rebuilding a bond that was tinted so long ago by pain and bitterness, all he feels is a warm fondness at the title.

“I dunno! Can’t you get El to do her mind shit or whatever it is she does”

“It doesn’t work like that Billy!” Max all but yells down the phone

“Okay okay, well maybe you can tell the rat pack why.. Actually no. You can tell everyone but Henderson” Billy corrects himself, knows full well if Dustin got wind of his plans, not only would he receive yet another shovel talk from the little gremlin, but there’s a strong chance he could actually blow his big scheme altogether.

“Why not Dustin?”

“Because shitbird. Curls is physically incapable of keeping a secret and I don't want him to spoil it, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear”

“Thank you” Billy breathes a sigh of relief but its short lived as he hears the familiar jingle of the bell above the door and catches sight of a dishevelled and winded Steve come strolling through the door “Shit i gotta go, talk later”

“Yeah okay.. Oh Billy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really proud of you, and happy” She hesitates as she says the next part “i love you”

It still takes Billy’s breath away when she says it, it's not something they say very often to each other, but each time they do he knows it’s genuine and that though alone is enough to make his heart rabbit in his chest, he still feels guilt at the way he treated her in the early years, feels her love isn’t deserved at all, nonetheless he has it and he loves her too.

“Yeah Yeah, you too Mad Max” he tries to sound unaffected but his voice wavers at the end, has no time to compose himself though because Steve is right next to him, he slams the phone back into the receiver with a little more force than was strictly necessary and spins round to greet his lover with a toothy grin.

Steve leans in to peck Billy on the cheek, soft lips lips contrasting with rough stubble, he pulls back with a dopey smile.

“Was that Max?”

“Yeah she says Hi by the way”

“Sorry I missed her, what was she calling about?” Steve asks

“Oh you know just checking in” Billy tries for nonchalant, shoves his hands in his pockets to help with his casual facade, Steve isn’t buying it, he raises one eyebrow and fold his arms across his chest, he’s got a dumb smug smirk plastered on his face as he leans his back against the counter.

“Max never calls just to check in”

“Well she was today pretty boy” Billy’s defensive, hates lying to Steve, hates being caught in a lie, but needs must and all. “Anyway shouldn’t you get back in the kitchen? I’m sure Ricky’s dying for a smoke break”

“Fine” Steve huffs, pushes off the counter and makes his way back to the counter, just as he disappears through the door he calls over his shoulder “this conversation isn’t over by the way. I’ll find out why Max called”

Billy can’t help but roll his eyes but it’s all in good humour.

“Sure thing Beautiful”

---

It’s taken a monumental amount of planning and tantrums and narrowly avoiding being the number one suspect in the double homicide of MIke Wheeler and Dustin Henderson, but here he is, it's the big day and he feels like he’s about to throw up.

He’s been pacing the cafe floor, burning a hole in the wood flooring with his anxious back and forth, religiously checking his back pocket to assure himself of the safety of the ring he has stashed away in there, and it hasn’t magically disappeared in the last 10 seconds. The ring he almost had a breakdown over finding, almost threw the towel in and called whole thing off because he needed it to be perfect,needed it to be right, and had it not been for Robin’s intervention and her dragging him to some of the more alternative jewelry stores LA had to offer, he might not have found one at all. He hopes Steve likes it, hopes above all else Steve says yes, because if he doesn’t Billy’s not sure he’ll survive that kind of heartbreak, might have to take a long walk off Santa Monica pier and let the ocean wash him out of existence.

The party have all been helping set up and decorate the cafe which has been closed for the day, as far as Steve is aware the space has been hired for a ‘Private Event’ which are supplying their own catering, giving him the opportunity the spend the day with Robin, who is spending the month in California on a ‘whim’, of course she’s really here for Billy’s big plan, to help distract and misdirect Steve so he’s none the wiser and it truly does remain a surprise.

The place looks beautiful, more so than it usually does, The daily specials board has been wiped clean and in its place are messages of congratulations, love and support for Billy and Steve, somehow Max and El managed to source fresh garlands of various white flowers, all with names Billy doesn’t care to learn, all he knows is they look stunning strung up along the ceiling and across the walls interwoven with the fairy lights that are a permanent fixture of the interior design. Every table is adorned with white table clothes and on each table are vases with the same flowers hung up on the walls, there’s different photos of Billy and Steve throughout the years hung up all over the place, snapshots of the life they built together smiling down on Billy as he impatiently waits for Steve’s arrival. He’s lined the kitchen with hundreds of candles and rose petals carpet every inch of the floor,  and he knows once Steve is over the initial shock of it all he might bitch about fire hazards and safety bullshit, but Billy couldn’t care less, it’s romantic and Steve really should appreciate the effort.

The plan is simple, Robin will drop Steve off at the back door, then she’ll sneak round the front and join the rest of their guests in the cafe where they’ll wait silently for the signal, The signal hopefully being a loud and celebratory ‘he said yes’, then the party begins.

Billy’s still pacing, he can’t help it, couldn’t possibly stay still in this moment, he’s supposed to receive a page from Robin any minute now to tell him her and Steve are 5 minutes away, his mouth is dry and his stomach is doing somersaults, he feels like he might forget how to breath.  

“Will you stop pacing, you’re making me dizzy!” Max complains from where she's sat sideways on one of the chairs.

“What if he says no Max?”

“He’s not going to say no” she says rolling her eyes

“Yeah as much as I hate to admit it, Steve’s crazy for you, there’s no way he’s gonna say no” Dustin chimes in.

Billy doesn’t get a chance to respond because his beeper sounds from where it’s been left on the front counter by the till, the whole room holds their breath as he rushes over to check and sure enough Robin and Steve are less than 5 minutes away and it’s finally happening. Within seconds the whole room devolves into a frenzy, all the guests rushing to take their place in the crowd, all party members elbowing each other to push their way to the front, Lucas and Will holding up a side of  a just engaged banner. It's chaos, but Billy can’t think about that right now, tunes the rest of the world out, knows they’ll be quiet when they need to be.

His heart is in his throat as he walks the small distance between the front of house to the kitchen, double checks all the candles are lit and the rose petals that didn’t make the floor, instead are strategically placed on the counter top to spell out ‘Marry Me’ are all in their right home. He combs through his blonde curls and straightens out his shirt, checks his back pocket one last time just as he hears the sound of Steve’s keys turn the lock, he doesn’t know what to do with himself where to place himself, so instead he just stands there arms to his sides, eyes wide, expression hopeful.

Steve walks in fumbling with the lock, shopping bags in each hand from a day spent getting some well earned retail therapy, he’s in a cheery mood Billy notices, half singing,half mumbling some pop song, bobbing his head with his back turned to the kitchen. He hasn’t noticed Billy’s presence yet, or all the evidence around him of Billy’s devotion to him, but as he turns around he’s struck dumb. Eyes wide, shopping bags fall to the floor as he gasps and clasps one hand over his mouth. He’s tearing up as he tries to find the words to ask what’s going on, but there’s no need as Billy drops down to one knee, the ring he spent painstaking hours choosing, presented in front of him as an offering to the only thing in this universe or any universe he’s ever worshiped. There are tears in his own eyes, but he can’t help the smile as he gazes lovingly at the man he’s loved since he was 18, hope bubbling in his chest threatening to spill over.

“Billy, what’s all this?” Steve asks, still stuck in his place at the door, his voice is wavering and he’s shaking, his legs look about 5 seconds away from buckling from underneath him.

“It’s for you Bambi” Billy says, it's barely a whisper and his voice is breaking from all the emotions he’s been storing in his chest all day, betraying him as they claw up his throat at the most vital moment of his entire life.

“Billy--” Steve begins but Billy cuts him off.

“Will you just shut up for a minute… please”

Billy takes a deep steadying breath as he tries to calm his pounding heart and find the right words to say, he tried beyond hope to write some kind of speech for the occasion, but none of the words he scribbled down felt right, felt like they did the love he had for Steve any justice, it was Max’s suggestion to improvise, to speak from the heart, it’s more authentic that way, and Billy couldn’t help but agree at the time, but now all he wants to do is curse himself, curse Max for ever thinking that going without at least some idea was a good idea.

“From the very moment I laid eyes on you I knew I was in trouble” Billy begins, it’s a strong start but now he’s faced with the dilemma of what goes next.

“Here was this guy, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and.. And you had this fierceness to you, never backing down, always looking out for others, even if that meant risking yourself.”  His knee is hurting from putting his weight onto it or too long, but in this moment he finds he couldn’t care less, bites through the pain so he can continue his declaration.

“And I wanted to be like that, I wanted to be the kind of person those big Bambi eyes would look at and be proud to call a friend.” He lets out a shaky breath as he recounts their love story, he’s never been a poet but his words are raw and genuine.

“So I built myself, modelled myself after you and sure enough you became my friend, you forgave me, gave me a chance and that made me so happy” The tears are really beginning to fall now, his vision blurs and his eyes sting, still he powers through.

“Then I fell in love and I fell hard, and everyday I’d hate myself because I convinced myself you’d never love me back, and some days it was just too painful, but I knew it would hurt more if you were never in my life at all, that it would tear me apart” Steve still hasn’t moved from his place at the door, he just stands there a full river of tears flowing from his eyes, making them shine and twinkle in the candle light, he;s silent as he listens and if Billy couldn’t see the ride and fall of Steve’s chest he’d swear the man had stopped breathing altogether.

“That’s why I didn’t leave Hawkins straight after graduation, even though I promised myself I would. I just couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you behind.” He has to pause as he gathers up the strength to move onto the next part, as he has to acknowledge a time of his life, he’s torn between never wanting to forget and never wanting to remember.

“And now more than ever I’m so glad I didn’t, because if I did, who the hell knows what would have happened at that mall, all i know is I never would have gotten the chance to say I love you, or have the chance to hear you say it back” They’re both full on sobbing now, he has to continue even between hiccups, he has to finish, has to get to the park where he asks the question.

“And even after all these years, I have to remind myself that this is all real, this life we’ve built together is real, and I thank my lucky stars because you made me the man I am today, you made me the happiest man on earth that day, and have done everyday since, and if I can make you even half as happy as you make me, then I know i’m doing something right for once” Billy composes himself, its now or never, time to ask the most important question of his life.

“So Steve Harrington, will you marry me?”

It’s at that moment Steve’s legs finally give way and he crashes to the ground on his knees, still speechless and sobbing his heart out. The seconds that follow time seems to stand still for Billy, moments passing by excruciatingly slow, and the longer they both kneel there a mess of emotions on the kitchen floor Billy’s heart crawls further and further up his throat preparing itself for a steep and swooping descent of agony or a jubilant explosion of incomparable joy.

Just when Billy thinks there's an actual possibility he’s going to die from the anticipation, Steve finally speaks up.

“Yes. Billy I’ll marry you” his voice is barely audible, its hoarse from all the crying, but it's the answer Billy was hoping for and he’s overcome with an overwhelming sense of relief he feels almost faint from it, luckily Steve is crawling on his hands and knees until Billy collapses forward into him, burying his face into Steve’s neck and holding him tighter than Billy ever remembers doing before.

“Really you mean it?” he has to ask, as to make sure.

“Billy i want nothing more than to marry you” Billy can’t help but laugh with unrestrained joy, he feels his heart soar and his cheeks flush, he feels fit to burst, can’t contain it much longer, needs to shout from the rooftops just how happy he is. Steve lifts them both back to their feet and he holds Billy at arms length so he can look into Billy’s eyes. Honey brown meets ocean blue and there’s so much feeling in both their gazes, a storm of emotion ready to let loose any minute. “I love you Billy Hargrove” he declares a triumphant smile on his face as he leans in to give Billy a chaste kiss.

“I love you too Steve Harrington” Billy can’t help himself, he leans in a kisses Steve with all the passion and all the adoration he possess, its bruising, its fiery and it's oh so sweet as he forces his tongue to part Steve’s lips and licks into his mouth, but before he gets much of a chance to deepen it there’s a shout from out front.

“Has he said yes yet?” It’s the unmistakable and irritating voice of an impatient Mike. Both Billy and Steve break from the kiss and chuckle as they lean in and rest their foreheads against each other’s for a moment, soaking in the quiet glory of their love. Billy leans back and hollers towards the front of the cafe.

“Yeah he said yes!” It's met with a resounding cheer from the group of people gathered to witness this, and now the hard parts over the best part of Billy’s plan can begin.

“C’mon pretty boy, our guests await” he holds out the ring from Steve to slip onto his finger and takes him by the arm so he can guide Steve out to the front. Steve’s breathless for the second time in less than 20 minutes as they open the kitchen door and are greeted by all the faces of the people they love the most, all grinning from ear to ear and celebrating for them.

“You did all this?” Steve asks, awestruck.

“Well I had some help, I couldn’t have done it without these losers that's for sure” Billy laughs as he gestures towards the party, feeling victorious when Mike and Dustin look scandalised by Billy’s comment. “And you can thank Robin for helping pick out the ring,” He continues.

“Billy I don’t know what to say, this is incredible” Steve marvels as his eyes wander around the room, taking in all the decorations and photos and messages of good will.

“You don’t need to say anything at all.” Billy says “Listen baby, I know you’re upset that we can’t legally get married, but y’know fuck the law. Let's have our own wedding, right here right now. We don’t need a piece of paper to say we love each other” Billy turns to face Steve takes both his hands in his and stares searchingly into his eyes, looking for signs he may have messed up. “And if they do ever make it legal, and you still want to we can do it proper, just as soon as the laws passed” He rambles on “and there’s no pressure if you don’t like it, we can do something where we plan it together, it doesn’t have to be here and now--”

Steve interrupts Billy mid sentence to peck him quickly on the lips,

“Billy it's perfect.”

“Yeah, you sure?”

“Never been surer of anything in my life”

“Well then pretty boy, let's do this.”

---

Billy’s floating on cloud nine and there’s not a chance in hell he’ll be bought back down any time soon, the day was perfect everything he could ever wish for, a day spent celebrating his love for Steve and Steve’s love for him, a day spent surrounded to the most important people in their lives and nothing in this world could ever beat it.

He’s never seen Steve so happy either, even as he fusses trying to clear away the scattered rose petals and burnt out candles from the kitchen, their guests long gone all retired to their respective hotels giving Billy and Steve all the privacy a newly wed couple deserves.

“Hey Bambi, leave all that we can get in the morning, let’s go to bed” Billy says as he slides up behind Steve and hooks his arms around his waist, kissing and nibbling at his neck.

“Can’t do it tomorrow there’ll be no time to clean and get everything ready to open” Steve mumbles as he brushes more of the rose petals into the trash, Billy places his hand onto Steve’s shoulder so he has more leverage to spin him around so they can face each other.

“What if we just didn’t open tomorrow?” Billy says as he nips at Steve’s jaw and presses against him.

“We can’t not open tomorrow Billy” Steve says riding a moan

“Why not we’re the owners right?” Billy snakes his hand between them and presses his palm against the growing bulge in Steve’s pants.

“Yeah but--”

“Yeah but what? Don’t we get to decide if we open or not? Haven’t we earned a few days off?”

“I guess..”

“So what are you waiting for, let's go to bed” Billy says between kisses. At that Steve sighs and slips out to move away from Billy.

“Fine lets go Tiger” He says over his shoulder as he saunters towards the stairs to their apartment, Billy licks his lips in anticipation, can’t help the extra pep in his step as he follows, flicks the lights off with a flourish and kicks the door closed behind him, feeling lighter than air as he takes the stairs two at a time.

June 30th 2015

20 years to the day Billy proposed to Steve, when he laid his soul bare and proclaimed his undying love. 20 years to the day, that with the only family that ever counted to either of them, playing witness to their mutual promises of forever, they stand with the shore at their feet, the surf lapping at their ankles, brilliant hues of orange and pink as the sunset acts as the backdrop to their declaration of love.

They’re finally here, surrounded by the same family as 20 years prior and a few new, yet fond faces, keeping a promise they made all those years ago to make their marriage ‘official’ to join together legally.

Wicca chairs stand in rows up the sand, filled by guests with joyous expressions watching as Billy and Steve utter their vows to one another, as they pledge a lifetime to one another, Robin stands between them officiating the ceremony, while Dustin stands proudly to Steve's side and Max to Billy’s. The breeze tickles through the congregation, whipping gently at Steve’s salt and pepper mop, as he gazes adoringly into Billy’s eyes, tears threatening to spill despite the dazzling grin on his face.

Robin announces them as Husband and Husband and they receive their standing ovation, Billy grabs Steve and dips him backwards to press a passionate kiss to his soft lips, a kiss filled with all the devotion he’s built up over the last 30 years and promise to continue that devotion for the next 30 and god willing more. The cheers and hollers from the crowd fizzle away into white noise, the sounds of the ocean, the crash of waves, the whistle of the breeze and the call of gulls acts as the song to their first kiss as a proper married couple and just as he did 20 years ago today, Billy feels his heart swell ready to burst straight out of his chest, feels his stomach dip because he’s never been so happy, because even after 30 years kissing Steve still gives him butterflies, because despite all the injustices he faced in his younger years, he stands here with the only person he’s ever loved, his soulmate in his arms and nothing, not the upside down, not the monsters that walk among them, not his dad, could ever compel him to ever let Steve go.