#horrible disasters love this op

[utilitycaster]

I just want to say, that I agree with almost all of your Critical Role takes and you have 1000% better and more nuanced takes than all of Twitter and I greatly appreciate it! The takes over there regarding Liliana and the gods are just wild and you bring some much needed sanity to the content I see

Thanks! I hope you don't mind because I've been thinking about this re: the Twitter takes but the thing about Twitter and Liliana specifically that I've seen is that there's this really bizarre fetishization of like, the fact that she is a (white) southerner (this also weirdly happened for Birdie though to a much lesser extent, and the person who spearheaded that wasn't even American so I have to assume this is a specific corner of Twitter Culture At Large). And like, here's the thing. It's true that fantasy tends to be very British in its accents, and it's also true that accents in a fantasy world are used to convey the same things we'd assume in our world - RP British for educated, southern American for rural, Cockney for rougher types, etc.

It's also true that laying the exact socioeconomic parallels from our world onto, say, Liliana and Orym (who reads to me as non-regional but I, like Liam, am from the Northeast originally) is a recipe for disaster. Or rather, it's not, but it is going to reaffirm your own biases, some of which are dangerous to reaffirm.

There was a popular post on Tumblr a while back, probably not long after Trump was elected, of someone talking about how they were convincing a relative with the confederate flag towards socialism by appealing to the idea of "isn't in unfair how uneven wealth distribution is and how a small group has so much control" and a number of people were rightfully like "uh, maybe you should focus on the racism" or "hey OP ask your relative who they think that small group in control is because I'm getting a really bad feeling they're going to say it's The Jews." And I feel that a lot of the empathy for Liliana from those spaces feels like that OP. Or in other words: I get that you see your relatives in Liliana. Unfortunately, I cannot help but see me and mine in Orym.

You see someone trapped by circumstance and desperation in a dangerous ideology. I see the fact that I haven't gone to a synagogue in easily 6-7 years without there being a security guard present and usually, the doors locked with someone looking through the window to let you in, and then in the sanctuary there's been an installation so that you can quickly bar all the doors in case an alarm goes off or you hear shots in the lobby.

I think there's a great case for seeing yourself in Imogen, who is in a painful struggle with the fact that her mother does love her very much but is in dangerously deep and has done a number of incredibly terrible and harmful things. That latter point is important, incidentally; I get that cult members sometimes rise through the ranks but all but the leader are being manipulated. But the fact remains that a brainwashed person can still commit atrocities, and in this story, they have, many times over. It's especially true because like...sure, plenty of people are like "I lost my relative to a cult and I just want them back and I couldn't harm them," but also, as we've seen, this cult can and will harm Imogen! Plenty of people are also like "yeah I gotta cut them off, it hurts but unfortunately my horribly bigoted and violent relative, while a victim of brainwashing, is a threat to me too." It's not even the full picture of the Temult side of things, let alone the picture that includes the Vanguard's victims.

I also think the Southern gatekeeping is unhinged because it's like. guys there's QAnon members and other cults across the country; the Confederate flag example above was actually notable in that OP wasn't even Southern so you couldn't even write the flag off as deeply misguided heritage but rather was explicitly being used as a hate symbol. It's awfully presumptive to assume all southerners have the same experience (especially since the Temults are portrayed, physically and in accents, as white southerners, not that the experiences of white southerners aren't also incredibly varied). It's awfully presumptive to assume that people find Liliana threatening because they have no personal experience with people like her; often, it's because they have all too real experience with people like her, and it says something even worse about you if you can say "but you guys, I see me and my family in Liliana" when people are telling you that they see them and their families in Orym. I would not, personally, publicly admit that one's empathy extends to the people who remind you of your family but runs out before it reaches their victims. Nor would I publicly admit that I assume everyone who disagrees with me clearly has never had personal experience with this topic.

I should also note that, as I've noted a number of times before, that these are fictional characters and not real people. Twitter seems to be really fucking bad at grasping that. Like, yes, this is the other thing; I do not think that OP should kill their Confederate flag-toting relative, whereas if Imogen did so to Liliana I'd be like "hell yeah." The former is a real person who I do hope gets deprogrammed, just, you know, maybe adjust those priorities; the latter is a fictional character in a story.

[piracytheorist]

OKAY

I think it says a lot about my job that I was able to concentrate on it today and completely forget we GOT TRAILER

It was a mistake to check tumblr first thing in the morning, before I even got out of bed, but in my defense, I didn't expect it would drop at such a day and time! But anyway I did jump off of bed, turned on my laptop and recorded my face as I watched it. I needed to have that memorized XD

So, spoilers about the trailer below, and my own predictions about what each scene could be for! Reminder that I'm anime only, but have read the chapter that the first episode (probably) is based on, so for the most part I know what's going on, but for the rest I'm very much NOT aware :D Don't spoil me please :D

FAKE FAMBLY IS BACK

Manipulative Anya at her best! We love our gremlin!

Oh he's looking good :D

I fucking love this image. Look at Twilight pouting in the background. He doesn't understand why a child finds news boring.

WE GOT BLOOD WE GOT THORN PRINCESS IN ACTION LET'S GOOOOO

your honour I love him. Why does he look like he's ready to cry!

Ok from a first hearing the OP song sounds super cool. I feel like it's got "Mixed Nuts" vibes and I love it! I gotta look it up later!

Jeez Loid. Woman just woke up. Is that how he honeypoted all of his other missions?

Yor having a meltdown in the foreground and Anya being cute waking up in the background <3 I love my fake fambly <3

... okay. That's how his honeypots worked.

Yellow roses, if I'm correct, symbolize friendship. Interesting.

This is going to be a disaster and I cannot wait. Also I'm spotting Anya and Franky doing a horrible job at hiding in the left pic XD

My heart skipped a beat when I heard Anya's voice say "Moja-Moja" :')

Very sneaky. Much hiding. Wow. There's no way Franky thought this was working XD

The way all of this could have been solved with a "I tripped down the stairs and fell on my butt and now it hurts to sit" but hey we're getting a funny date how can I ask for more

Also the way Yor says that line my god

I am so ready for more Yor you have no idea

I gotta say, showing this moment is perfect for anime-onlies who haven't actually read this specific chapter. Loid just looks worried and Yor looks enraged. So many feelings for this episode XD

Are those macarons? What were the fucking chances that yesterday I went like "Next morning I'm gonna pass by that bakery that makes macarons". I haven't had macarons in years, yet I see one (1) advertisement about that bakery and its macarons and I go like yeah why not. Macarons. And now this. The fuck.

GREMLIN ANYA IS BACK

Honestly, her face in official merch is always a :D face with an almost unnaturally big smile all the time that I've missed her silly little face.

AH I WAS SENT THAT AS A MANGA SCREENSHOT!

Are those playing cards she's throwing? And is she reading someone's mind? I don't even care if she's cheating, good for you girl

Yeah, buddy, welcome to the real world.

I remember that line from the end of the bullet-in-butt date chapter, and I gotta admit I don't really like it... but the way Eguchi delivers it makes me think he's not like "Women amirite" but more like "All my years of training did not prepare me for how people are like in their day to day lives because spy training has skewed my perception of day to day 'normal'" and that's perfectly valid.

But also what the fuck is happening here. What is that cat. Why is Yor about to Thorn-Princess it. What.

So Anya goes on a studying rampage, fails, and ends up crying on her penguin?

This only made me sad, what the fuck. It looks like Loid and Yor are looking at her failing grades, and Anya is disappointed in herself. I will don my clown wig again and say "If Loid doesn't go and reassure her so help me GOD"

I... don't like the ending theme song. But that's mostly a matter of taste, I guess.

Aw.

They dare throw this to anime onlies when they know we won't get romantic canon twiyor content until three to five business years from now at least

The assassin group... I'm supposing he means the one Yor works for? How long does "for a while now" mean? Wasn't Yor working for them since she was a teenager caring for Yuri?

In any case, wow that's a very intense visual.

omg omg omg

from the colour and the angle this looks like a vision Bond has. Loid and Yor are smiling and blushing but why does it make me feel sad!!

I don't know if it's because of what is said in that moment (they look like unrelated scenes since the line is being said by a woman who I'm guessing is a fellow assassin working with Yor or something) but then there's this

And we just don't see Yor like that often, if at all in the anime so far.

What is Franky wearing? It looks like a military jacket or something. I wonder if that's just stylistic choice or it's something more important.

*snorts laugh*

Gotta admit, from a few tidbits here and there it looks like Twilight is finally gaining some more understanding of himself and his situation... but the way he says that just makes me think that realization makes him more concerned than anything else.

So I can say with conviction this did fix something in me. Though I guess the first episode will be the bullet-in-butt date, so it will take me another week to go into new territory. But! Bullet-in-butt date in 12 days! And new cool stuff to look for later on! I'm so happy!

(Again, I don't want spoilers for any of these. Just let me have my fun speculating :D)

screenshots taken from the unofficially subtitled trailer here!

[thelemoncoffee]

Saiouma playing rainworld, because me and my friends played rainworld together and it was a disaster

first off; you know it's Kokichi who owns the game, not Shuichi. he has a co-op mod, the downpour dlc, and a mod to customize your scugs with. that customization mod results in some very weird scug looks that get mocked once seen in game

second off; they play this using the steam invite to play thing so they don't have to crowed around Kokichi's dinky laptop that by all means shouldn't even be able to run vanilla rainworld. they also invite someone else to play just to make it interesting (anyone of your choosing, but personally i'd love to watch Miu play rainworld)

third off; this all goes horribly wrong. from the game crashing, to people suddenly not being able to use controls, to people suddenly having acces to the wrong controls- utter chaos. and once they get into the game, trying to actually go anywhere with 2/3 people who've never played the game before results in a three stooges skit as they loop through the same three rooms cause they can't get into the next one without someone dying.

it's utter chaos and they're having so much fucking fun

[slingshot78]

Ahh, so I'm not the only one who thinks that the interaction between the characters (especially with the Transformers) are a complete disaster/confusing. I want to see some emotions and friendships explained, not only rage and revenge or just... Being neutral??? I'm not sure if I explained that right :') I'm sorry for my broken English, I totally agree with your opinion in this

Absolutely!!!! (also LOVE the gif)

I feel like bayverse does a horrible job with making the characters seem like real sentient beings than just robots who fight. Because that's not all they do, they have relationships, friendships, likes, dislikes, personalities.

Age of extinction was probably the closest we'd get to the transformers interacting on a normal sentient like level. With OP grieving ratchets death, Bumblebee and Drift fighting, and Crosshairs and drift.

Other than that, everyother duo absolutely was trashed by Bayverse complete incompetence at focusing on the main focal point (the transformers) than the humans. You can def tell Bayverse tried to make them "tough" and that involved erasing every amount of interaction possible between the characters.

That's one of the reasons I love Crosshairs and drifts duo so much. They actually interact on more than just a "fighting over bs" level. Whereas bumblebee and cross fight, cross and Hound fight, etc etc. We get to see them, slightly, interact with eachother on a more friendly level.

Drift didn't have Crosshairs at his throat everytime he said something about him or touched him AND drift and Crosshairs have their own attack combo together which is 100% something I wanted to have seen more!

But I don't want to go babbling on about every little detail on Crosshairs and Drifts interactions so I'll just finish this off with yes.

Bayverse sucks at making their characters REAL.

[someonexsomeone]

Ducktail

Title: Ducktail

Author: SomeonexSomeone

Word Count: 1.6k

Pairing: Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x Reader

Summary: Gaz just loves you a lot, okay?

Authors Note: Why is it so hard to find domestic fics? I just want to be happy for once...

He tried.

…

What? He did!

He tried so, so hard.

But seeing you like this? He couldn’t help it. The opportunity was too good to pass up.

For the last 10 minutes, he’s stood there, goofy smile on his face, his lip almost raw from how hard he was biting it to keep the laugh from escaping. For the last 10 minutes, he’s stood there, watching as you glared your way through your nightly routine, too frustrated and upset to notice your joyful onlooker. For the last 10 minutes, Gaz has watched, laughed, and almost peed himself. For the last 10 minutes, Gaz somehow became an even more lovestruck fool for you. Was there even a level above devoted? He wasn’t sure up until now. Now, he knew for sure there had to be. How else could he describe the thumping in his chest, the heat in his heart, and sparkles in his eyes.

First, it was your pants not coming down. Who in their right mind made jeans so horrible to get in and out of one handed?! You nearly threw yourself on the floor to bicycle kick your way out, and you would have on any other day. Had it not been for the plaster reminder on your arm to be more careful, you would have easily used the tactical skills you picked up from living with a trained soldier (Gaz didn’t have the heart to tell you that the duck and roll he showed you was, in fact, a move he made up to prank you and not the special ops technique that got him out of a Russian base and save a whole town). Then, it was your shirt not cooperating and catching on every part of your body while coming off (see, once again, the above reason for not launching yourself at anything with a hook). Gaz nearly lost it watching you slam it so hard onto the floor in victory, watching as it bounced a little in retaliation.

Your pajama shirt was no easy feat to get on either, but since it was technically Gaz’s, the extra material meant easy access to neck and arm holes. You nearly cheered at getting your pajama shorts on, looking so cute that Gaz was going to make sure you kept the cute shirt ducktail you accidently made in the back from pulling them up too high over his shirt.

For the last 10 minutes, the sight was funny to the point of a bathroom disaster. Now though? The sight was a little pathetic.

The way the medics had to cast your arm causes it to rest at an awkward 90 degree bend, meaning most of your mobility was hindered. Naturally, your dominant hand was attached to the broken bone, so for the next couple weeks you’d have to get used to mastering the robot in order to do anything useful. Most of your daily functions were easy to switch to your other hand or alter  in some way, but the one thing you’ve yet to master is washing your face. The too tall bottle, the stupid pump, the idiotic lathering and cleansing and frothing, and the dumb rinsing were pretty much impossible without bringing you to tears. Broken arm be damned, you were close to giving up all together and become a trash monster in order to never have the embarrassment of watching your face wash pathetically roll across the counter, dodging your hands, until it fell and disappeared under the sink.

Gaz made sure you saw the multitude of photos he took of you helplessly scrambling for it (you repaid him for his kindness with a pillow to the face).

But now, as Gaz watches you reach for the soap, hand slightly batting it back and forth, attempting to push the pump down only for it to spin uselessly in place, his wicked smile turns soft, his eyes filling with adoration as you grumble under your breath. He was only a second away from stepping towards you to help, taking just another moment to appreciate your sleepy figure, when you sighed heavily. Your shoulders slumped forward, lips pouting in the most kissable way, near defeat evident in your stance.

“Oh no!” you said suddenly, louder than even Gaz was ready for. “If only I had a helpful hero here to help me!”

Gaz quickly slammed his hand over his mouth, laughter barely contained. You tilted your head slightly, no doubt trying to have your voice carry into the kitchen where he was supposed to be unloading the grocery bags.

“I’m a helpless civilian in need of assistance!” A beat. “If only there was a musclely, sexy military man to help me.” Another beat. “It sure would be nice to have help from the best soldier in a special task force.” After another moment of silence, you sighed again. “If only there was a sexy man I could give head to-“

“If you shout any louder the whole neighborhood will know how you got that broken arm.” You screamed, nearly jumping out of your skin, body jostling against the sink. Inevitably, the shock sent your face wash sideways, toppling uselessly onto the floor. The rattle of the bottle and the sink was only matched by the wobble of your lips, a shock darting through your hurt arm. The whimper of pain was enough for Gaz to drop his mischievous smile instantly. He hurried forward to cradle your arm gently, the biggest puppy dog eyes searching your face for an indication of pain level.

“Gaaaaaaz-“ you whined, slumping your body into his arms, carefully cradling your arm to your body. Gaz’s eyes switched between your watery eyes and your injury, body nearly surrounding yours in a protective manner. A ping of guilt wracked his heart.

“I know, I’m sorry! I didn’t think you’d hit your-“

Your eyes narrowed into a glare. “You knocked my bottle onto the floor, you dweeb!”

Gaz’s dropped jaw barely managed, “That’s what you're upset about!?”

Your lips curled into a pout, still clutching your arm against your body, the pain fading with every passing second. Despite his shock, you watched as his eyes softened the more he gazed down at you in his arms.

“How long have you been standing there? Jerk.” With your uninjured hand, you gently smacked his chest in protest, though there wasn’t any real force behind it. Gaz, reassured you weren’t really hurt, laughed lightly, leaning down to place a gentle kiss against your lips, which you quickly returned. Despite being upset with him, you could never deny his kisses.

He also took the opportunity to lean into you just a bit, his hand batting at your ducktail softly.

“Long enough to enjoy the show.” With practiced agility, he leaned down, kissing your thigh (all teeth, of course) before scooping the face wash up in one smooth motion, returning it to its rightful spot on the sinks ledge. You huffed at his wiggling eyebrows. “Now, I heard there was compensation promised for help from a sexy military man?”

“I don’t know if I want to give it to you now, knowing you watched me struggle this whole time without offering help.” Gaz laughed again, brushing his lips against yours once more. Gently, he pushed your hips against the sink, trapping you between it and his sturdy body. His heat enveloped you in its comforting embrace, though you did have to move your arm at a slightly strange angle in order for your chests to push together just like you both liked. Stupid, stupid cast.

He kissed you gently once, twice, then thrice before pulling far enough away to kiss your forehead.

In his gentle atmosphere, Gaz wanted to kiss every part of you, everything that he loved personified. Press your lips together until you’re breathless. Pull you into bed, holding you close just like he did after every long day, shedding off his duties mentally one by one until he was able to do nothing but lay there and smell your soothing scent, listen to your breathing as it got slower and slower, press kisses onto your nearest body part until he, too, drifted off to sleep.

But, he knew, none of that could happen until your face was nice and clean, that very soothing scent wafting off of the freshly washed skin. He kissed your lips once more, before cupping your face between his hands, eyes meeting.

“Your sexy hero is here to save you, darling. I’ve got you.”

Gently, he grabbed the nearby washcloth, wetting it behind you before lifting it to your face. His caresses were slow and feather soft, letting the water guide along your features just enough to make your face wash work its magic. Without breaking eye contact, he exchanged the washcloth for your soap, bubbling it in between his fingers before rubbing it across your cheeks. His touches were more like a massage than a lather, but you couldn’t complain, not when he was sneaking kisses every couple seconds, lulling you into near enough sleep as you could get while standing. Your eyes were closed, but his were wide open, tracing every feature with his loving gaze. Once he was satisfied with the lather, he soaked and rung out the washcloth once more before bringing it to your face. It only took a few swipes to get the majority of the bubbles, but Gaz continued for several long moments, enjoying the blissed out look on your face more than he could express. He swiped gently over your lips before sealing them once again with his, pressing them there to feel you close to him once more.

What a dangerous wish, he thought, to never want this moment to end.

The next morning, you were pleasantly surprised to find a brand new soap dispenser on the sinks edge, short and square, with a red ribbon tied around it.

masterlist  l  mw masterlist

[bizarre-blorbo-bracket]

OP's blorbos round 1 poll 11: The V-22 Osprey from Bell-Boeing vs Junior from Thomas and the Magic Railroad

Details under the cut:

V-22:

The Osprey is a tilt-rotor aircraft, meaning it can convert between being a helicopter and being a plane. It's shit at both. Its favorite things to do are eat money, set things on fire and crash so bad it flips over before it hits the ground. It needs so much maintenance that only around 60% of them are remotely working at any one time. It craves human blood and the warm embrace of smacking into the ground. It is so so so cringe and fail and in 2021 one melted the helipad at a children's hospital. It's an indulgent taxpayer funded disaster made of equal parts military industrial complex, hubris, and mechanical failure. I once drew an ms paint picture of one being bottle fed like a rescue kitten.

Junior:

Possibly one of my fave disaster characters ever. I'm pretty sure he's ONLY in thomas and the magic railroad, and he consequently has been my blorbo since before I could read. Hes inexplicably Scottish. He surfs. He's a conductor even though he gets horribly motion sick on trains. I want to squish him like a stress ball. He has bisexual energy despite being in a movie for toddlers. I love him sm

[ryttu3k]

Goddammit I'm being called out. Anyway BG3 people go ahead and convince me. Heavy sigh.

ryttu3k — Today at 12:10 PM Also I'm so mad I may end up dropping money on a game in a franchise I've never played Purely from propaganda over a character all over my dash

megastarstrike — Today at 12:11 PM oh i see the propagandas working which character 👀

ryttu3k — Today at 12:12 PM Fucking. Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3

megastarstrike — Today at 12:12 PM oh i heard it was a good game!

ryttu3k — Today at 12:12 PM He's a deeply traumatised vampire who covers up his insecurities with flirting and snark

megastarstrike — Today at 12:13 PM oh hes blorbo bait

ryttu3k — Today at 12:13 PM He is >: (

megastarstrike — Today at 12:14 PM

>:)

ryttu3k — Today at 12:14 PM Reply to friend, who reblogged a post with Astarion: " "I have no idea who this guy is" Astarion is the vampire twink from Baldur's Gate 3 (the bear druid fucking game). He's horrible and we love him."

Friend: "For one really confused moment I thought this said he is the bear druid, not he’s from the same game, and I about pissed myself laughing at the “twink in the streets bear in the sheets” memes I’m glad your horrible vampiric twink is so enjoyable! As a former Lestat Enjoyer myself, I understand what an important role bitchy vampire twinks have in our societies."

Me: "I’m lowkey considering watching an LP of the game because the Horrible Vampiric Twink propaganda on my dash has been working HARD."

OP: "ryttu3k I would be happy to provide More Propaganda. He’s vain. He’s a survivor of 200 years of horrific abuse. He tries to secretly drink your blood in the night. You can let him feed on you as part of your sex scene. He tries to kill you when you first meet. He hits on everyone in your party. He thinks bringing a woman’s dead husband back as a zombie is hilarious. He’s terrified of his vampiric master. He tries to seduce you for personal gain"

Me: "[OP] he sounds like a disaster! Regretfully, I am Intrigued XD"

megastarstrike — Today at 12:15 PM hes just your type!

ryttu3k — Today at 12:15 PM I'm so annoyed!!

megastarstrike — Today at 12:16 PM i for one enable this

ryttu3k — Today at 12:18 PM https://www.tumblr.com/adhd-tabris/725239346547032064/i-am-deeply-appreciative-of-how-much-of-a-loser

megastarstrike — Today at 12:20 PM just your type!!!!

[abysslll]

hello hi luce can u please tell me all about the bsd main characters

HELLO JERI WHY OF COURSE I CAN

1- atsushi nakajima! actual mc but everyone forgets about that part 💀 his gift is beast beneath the moonlight and hes a lil tiger boy. a weretiger if you will. he has the worst haircut of all time and about all he's good for in the first season is moping about how he got kicked out of his abusive orphanage. (which is valid but he literally cannot go for more than five minutes without talking about it its soo </3) fun fact before i watched the show i'd seen a few pictures of him around and i legitimately thought that he was a side character who got introduced in like season 2 and then immediately died as cannon fodder. thats how pathetic he is as a mc.

no but fr i do really love him, his character growth is great and the current arc is really showcasing him as a character. he just happens to have Sad Boy Syndrome 😔 like im actually trying to come up with Plot and Important Stuff to say about all these guys but i have nothing to say about atushi hes just so overshadowed

2- dazai osamu, the Actual mc. hes so fucked up i love him so much. his main character trait is that he wants to kill himself. he is introduced by a failed drowning attempt and goes on about different ways to die for at least two minutes an episode. he used to work in the mafia and was only recruited because of (youre never gonna guess this) a failed suicide attempt in which the eventual boss, who was working as a doctor at the time, met him. its never explicitly said, but he was abused for years as the boss's subordinate (the boss, whose name i will not say for spoiler reasons and also because i cant remember it rn, is canonically a pedophile and sadist. i dont think i need to spell it out). he eventually left because one of his dead friends was like "go make people's lives better dipshit" and he was like "shit ok" and went and joined the detective agency. hes truly a disaster of a human being i can't express enough how skrucnkly he is.

3- chuuya nakahara. hes not a main character but he is in my heart <3 angry short guy i love him so fucking much. anyway hes dazai's ex husband (/j) and they fucking hate each other and have so much intertwined hurt and trauma together its insane. their ship name, soukoku, is actually a name that is canonically used for their special ops team (it translates to double black iirc?) and just aaaaaaaa soukoku <3333 my actual beloveds my first published fanfic EVER was about them

4- ok im running out of influential characters. uhhhhh how about akutagawa. hes dazai's understudy from the mafia and is so horribly fucked up by this that all he wants in life is for dazai to acknowledge his existence (dazai refuses. this is actually a very fucked up plot point). hes a mass murderer and is terminally ill and i would die for him. also he and atsushi are a very popular ship! in their first meeting aku cuts off atsu's leg <33 talk about a meet-cute

5- kunikida is a very major character i just realized 😭 ummmm so hes this guy. and he has a notebook. and he likes to yell at dazai.

no but actually hes a very interesting character with a very solid set of morals that is challenged throughout the course of the show. he's really the only character that like. Follows The Law and Doesn't Want To Hurt People and this is challenged a lot because as you can imagine being partners (as in coworkers. they are not dating) with an ex-mafioso is not a great way to stay morally correct. hes really great actually. he was a math teacher and then became a detective for some reason. hes 22. he was also my favorite character during my first watchthrough though he was quickly replaced by chuuya and akutagawa <3

6- RANPO!!!!! RANPO RANPO RANPO!

think sherlock holmes with the mindset of a child and the confidence of reigen arataka. and also an obsession with candy. that's ranpo. now that i think about it that also kinda sounds like L but we're not talking about death note here. hes basically so smart that he can deduce the truth of a case within like a second, but he has to be wearing glasses. he thinks that he has a gifted ability but he actually doesn't lmao.

he starts off as a side character but becomes a lot more important in like s3 onwards. im not a Super huge fan of his but he is fun! he has a lot of angsty moments throughout as he realizes he's like. Not God. Not Special. which are sad but also ghnghh emotional whump <3 anyway

uhhhhhh i cant think of any more characters rn who are important enough to mention and also youve been waiting liek a day for this response so im gonna cut it here. ty for the ask <33

[llycaons]

ep45 (2/2): jin ling has the worst day ever (again)

MOUTHING OFF TO HIS ELDERS. I'm kind of mad oyzz is only known as the romance enthusiast when he's really funny like this

agshjakdksl???

NHS IS LAUGHING TOO

help god he's so funny

AND NHS IS LOVING IT!!

this hypocrite...he yells at wwx for not coming back to LP immediately but also criticizes him for daring to think he can return. god, what a disaster

I know this is exactly what all the fics say and they're so boring but 😭 what a good boy!!!

oh you know lwj was breathing a sigh of relief like 'oh thank heavens I don't have to actually open my mouth and communicate anything of emotional significance'

wwx looking at LP...oof. it's been so long. what a journey he's taken, to end up here again

once saw a post where op was hoping this meant wq was coming back. god, I wish

eyyyyy my guy lqr

this is was so funny. I just wish lwj hasn't scolded him right after. dude you love him, let him sprawl

oh then there's THIS bitch

I knew he was a misogynist...

god poor jin ling standing there and hearing your beloved uncle murdered your grandfather in one of the most sexually deranged and horrifying ways ever

another reason we could have seen wq again...jins are fine with locking people up for decades on end

you hear that, 'working class hero jgy' fans? TWENTY women!!!! justice for them!!

I'm just excited he's here. i love his robes

yeah this is clearly fucking jl up and the adults around him don't appear to notice. I guess at that age they were being imprisoned and sent to war with the wens but STILL. they should know how horrible that was at their age!

finally someone SAYS it. thank you sect leader yao!

personal highlights:

jin ling running to help his friend, wen yuan! what a good and loyal boy!

wwx in his painted white clothes

jc's emotionally conflicted face throughout the episode. man looks legit ill

wen ning looking so happy when he speaks to lsz! lsz looking so moved and hopeful!

the kids being so nice and supportive of lsz

BREAKDOWN!!!!

jc saying 'a-ling'

oyzz mouthing off to his elders and dad, and nhs laughing

lqr's bitchin robe choice

sect leader yao going "damn you, jin guanshan' like YES SAY THAT

[stay-outta-my-blood-circle]

If it’s not to late, “Harry warden on the patio with a crossbow.”

Soulmate AU & first "I love you."

This probably isn't what you were expecting. Honestly I wasn't expecting it either - sometimes the muse just makes its own decisions. Companion piece to this, I guess?

As it often goes, you'd met completely by chance. You were grabbing your order at the bar, he was sitting there with his sleeves rolled up; you saw the mark on his arm and dropped your mozzarella sticks.

He turned, studying the commotion over the rim of his mug, but you stood frozen, gaping like a fish - what were the words to say in a situation like this? You couldn't find them, and certainly not fast enough, so when he began to turn back toward the tv screen above the bar, you settled for yanking up your sleeve. He didn't quite drop his beer, but he did spill it all over himself.

You'd talked for a while that afternoon, and then you'd gone on a proper date the next day. He was a little bit gruff and grumpy, but also considerate - and not as reluctant to show affection as you'd expected. In fact, as the days went on and you spent more and more time together, he seemed very comfortable being affectionate, in his own ways; he was pretty casual about it and much more tactile than verbal, but that was just fine with you.

Two weeks passed in the blink of an eye, and you were happier than you had dared hope you would be in the immediate aftermath of finding your soulmate.

Three months later, the mine collapsed.

You hadn't known, at the time, what was causing the horribly sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. When the story hit the news, your heart plummeted; you knew he'd been caught in the disaster before they even listed his name as one of the buried men.

The relatively short time between hearing of the event and hearing of his recovery was terrible. Was he alive? You had no way of knowing - your mark was there just like always, but that didn't mean anything. The marks don't change to reflect the status of the person they're connected to. All you could do was wait, and hope, and try to keep eating (barely) and sleeping (less than barely) in the meantime.

Finally, they found him. They pulled him, battered but alive, from that dark hell - and him alone. He was the only survivor, it seemed, and you felt bad for how relieved you felt. How thankful.

The next day, he was still comatose, but stable. You stayed stalwart at his bedside, trying to coax him back to the world. Back to you.

The day after, they'd finally recovered all the dead men, and then they announced their findings - and suddenly your soulmate was being accused of murder. You denied it vehemently at every turn, especially when the press showed up asking questions. How long have you known him? Has he ever showed signs of violence? A short temper?

Does he hit you?

You'd slapped that particular reporter. Not advisable, probably, but the sting in your palm felt like justice.

Your heart broke slowly as a year crept by with no change in his condition. Your visits grew further and further between - your feelings for him remained as strong as ever, but it was becoming difficult to see him in that state. It forced you to face the likelihood that he was never coming back to you.

The day he finally wakes up, you're taking a mental health day at home, unaware of the veritable hell breaking loose at the hospital as he slashes his way through it, laying ghoulish waste to anyone between him and the way out - between him and you.

He arrives soon thereafter, and he lets himself in using the key you keep in the potted plant by the door. His mind is foggy, full of confusion and dull horror, but he still knows where he is - knows why he's flown, single-minded and feverish, from the hospital to this place. He's puzzled when you don't rush to greet him in the entryway. He stumbles and lurches through the house, leaving smears of half-dried gore on anything he touches in his mindless pursuit of your presence.

When he flings open your bedroom door, you don't recognize him at first - you back away with a scream, trying to put as much distance between this sudden, terrifying intruder and yourself as possible, but he careens toward you undeterred - and then his hand - large, calloused, and covered in a disgusting, viscous film - closes over your shrieking mouth, and familiar golden-brown eyes stare into yours with an intensity that steals the remainder of your breath.

You don't know what to do. You're frozen in disbelief as your mind races at a speed that leaves you dizzy - it's him, it is, but how is that possible? Why is he covered in blood? Is he hurt? Something must be wrong, he looks... he looks unwell. He's here, he's back - you should be happy, ecstatic, but your blood is ice in your veins instead. This feels less like a reunion and more like a haunting.

His hand slides, slick and stomach-churning, down your chin to grip your jaw firmly. His face, already so near, slowly moves closer until your lips meet. They rest there, unmoving at first, but then they begin to twitch against yours - slow, seemingly uncoordinated spasms that intensify quickly until his mouth his moving so much that it breaks your point of contact, and only then do you realize that he's saying something under his breath - chanting the same words over and over, marginally louder each time, voice deep and rough, raspy from disuse. Finally, he's loud enough to hear, and your heart jumps into your throat as you make out the words:

"I love you."

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

The Man Comes Around

Over at the Wen Indoctrination Tower, which seems to exist just to torture Lan Wangji with stair climbing, Lan Wangji is climbing the stairs. Too bad his cultivation level is too low to be able to just jump up. At least this time his leg isn't broken.

This is the first vengeful stair-climb in the show, but not the last. (Parallel gifset here).

The Wen guards are stationed all the way at the pinnacle of this tower to guard...what? Why are they not at the bottom of the stairs? What is this location for, actually? This is further up the stairs than the scenes with the indoctrination lectures. Anyway, it's been three months since Wen Chao threw Wei Wuxian into the burial mounds, so naturally these guards are talking about that exact thing as Lan Wangji approaches.

Lan Wangji knocks them all down with a blast from his guqin. Did you know his guqin is named Wangji, by the way? It is. A guy who is that lazy about naming his quqin maybe shouldn't feel so superior to a guy who named his sword "whatever." 

(I'm suddenly remembering a plush lamb I had as a child, whose eyes were orange, that I named "orange eyes.") (I, however, was three. And I had a lot of plush lambs. Little ones. Grown-ups found it hilarious to give them to me.) (Native speakers of English can probably guess what OP's real name is. Hint: it rhymes with Canary.) (Everybody else: there is a kid's rhyming song called Mary Had A Little Lamb. OP's name is Mary.)

Anyhoo, after Lan Wangji is finally finished with his dramatic entrance, Jiang Cheng comes flying in from wherever he's been hovering for the past 20 minutes of stair time. A bunch of Lan sidekicks also flood into the frame from wherever they were hiding during the wide shots of LWJ on the staircase.

In case you hope that CQL Lan Wangji is as much of a top (offscreen) as MZDS Lan Wangji is (on the page), here's a gif for you.

(more after the cut)

He uses the patented Lan string attack to choke this guard.  Lan Wangji doesn't have to hold a guqin string in his hands to choke someone with it. He doesn't even have to tighten it, judging by how absurdly not-tight this string is.

Or maybe this guy is choking on the chin strap of his helmet. This is exactly how OP's son reacts when OP sticks a bike helmet on him. (Note: it's GOOD that they are following choking safety protocols on set. Very good. However, they could have just left the string out and pretended, and it would look better, in this instance)

The Wen guard tells Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng about the whole "thrown into the burial mounds" thing.  Team Let's Find Wei Wuxian is not happy to hear this.

A Vengeful Ghost

Meanwhile, in some Wen office somewhere? Where the hell is this? Yiling, we get an ominous shot of the rooftops where Wei Wuxian is lurking and then we see Wang Lingjiao trying to sleep and having a nightmare.

Wang Lingjiao has gone to sleep with a full face of makeup on instead of washing her face before bed. She has forgotten the important maxim, Go To Sleep Pretty, Wake Up Zitty.

She leaps out of bed to go cling to Wen Chao and freak out about Wei Wuxian's ghost. Wen Chao is trying to read the sports section and has clearly had enough of this crap. This has presumably been going on for a little while now.

Wang Lingjiao is in a new outfit, which is...pajamas? It has the feel of a 1930's French peignoir set, and it's much more softly colored than her usual bright red-purple combo. If this is her pajamas is it weird that her day clothes are a lot more aggressively sexy-looking than her nightgown? A freak in the streets but a lady in the sheets.

Wen Chao rants about the Sunshot Campaign and talks some smack about Wen Qing, and then leaves to go to the bar and watch the game with Wen Zhuliu. After he leaves Wang Lingjiao freaks out for a bit and then looks at the notice he was reading.

The notice basically says that the Sunshot Campaign is kicking their ass. She should be proud for inspiring the name of the campaign with that kite-shooting bullshit she made up at Lotus Pier. Before slaughtering everyone.

No Matter What You Do, I Only Want To Be With You

Back at the Indoctrination Tower, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng are having feelings about Wei Wuxian. Jiang Chang does all the talking but Lan Wangji's thoughts are louder because a sad violin is playing Wangxian while they talk.

Jiang Cheng tells Lan Wangji about their meetup plan and says he thought WWX had dumped him to go find Lan Wangji in Lanling. Lan Wangji telepathically indicates that this didn’t happen. This means two things: 1. Lan Wangji has been hanging out in Lanling, where Jiang Yanli has been hanging out, so maybe they have bonded over the past 3 months and 2. This is the first time Jiang Cheng has talked to Lan Wangji since Wei Wuxian disappeared. 

Much as my fic-loving heart would like to believe these two spent three months on the road together looking for Wei Wuxian, in fact they are both important high-level fighters in an active military campaign, and Lan Wangji was busy taking back the Cloud Recesses while Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were having elective surgery. They probably both were assigned to the "Indoctrination Bureau" mission and this is the first chance they've had to talk about Wei Wuxian.

Is it heartbreaking that, while Wei Wuxian was helplessly getting his ass beat because he'd sacrificed his golden core for Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng believed Wei Wuxian had abandoned him for Lan Wangji? Yes. Yes it is.

For some reason Jiang Cheng is hesitant to believe that Wei Wuxian really was thrown into the Burial Mounds. I mean, I understand not wanting to believe Wei Wuxian is dead, but given that Wen Chao is the dude who oversaw the massacre of all of the people at Lotus Pier, including kids, why would Jiang Cheng think his guards are wrong? Maybe he just feels like Wei Wuxian is invincible, since so far he kinda has been. 

The Sword is Mightier Than Not Having a Sword

While they've been chatting, the Lan disciples have found their swords. One disciple is holding Bichen (LWJ's sword), Sandu (JC's sword), and OP consults wiki Suihua (Jin Zixuan's sword). Another disciple is holding Subian (WWX's sword).  

Jiang Cheng grabs Sandu while the Lan disciples, who apparently know their gongzi’s heart, offer Wei Wuxian's sword to Lan Wangji. 

Lan Wangji takes Subian (Bichen: What am I, chopped watercress?) and immediately tries to draw it. Like you don't do. It's sealed itself, which apparently means that it's upset. It's unclear if it's upset because Wei Wuxian is dead or if it just misses him, however.  

Lan Wangji definitely misses him, and wonders, out loud inside his own head, where Wei Wuxian is. Um, he's in the Burial Mounds, dude, they just told you. Well, I guess he's actually in Yiling proper at this point, haunting Wang Lingjiao as he promised her he would.

Twa Corbies

The scene shifts to Qinghe, where there are about 12 dead bodies lying around, which in this show means that there are really a few hundred. In fact, per Jiang Yanli's statement "nothing can be seen but corpses covering the plains." The camera can't see most of them, is all.

Wen Xu's head is hanging in the doorway, and the Jins talk about how Nie Mingjue killed him, cutting his head off with just one swing. Is this foreshadowing anything, like perhaps someone else's head being cut off by Baxia in just one swing? Nope, definitely not.

A couple of crows are perched on a body, totally not eating it, but Jin Zixuan gallantly zaps them with a talisman to make them fly away anyway.  It might be noteworthy that nobody used to use talismans but gradually more and more people are using them - particularly people who have spent time with Wei Wuxian.

With mony a lock of his golden hair-o, we’ll theek our nest when it grows bare-o

Asshole cousin Jin Zixun says “scavenger rights,” so Jin Zixuan puts him in charge of collecting all the bodies. 

Since OP just finished watching fur-collar-happy Nirvana in Fire, these crows look to me like they are wearing luxurious fur collars. Where OP lives, crows are not this fancy. 

A Romantic Corpse-Filled Interlude

Disaster het Jin Zixuan goes to help Jiang Yanli get out of the carriage but she rejects his hand just like he rejected hers back in Gusu.

Jiang Yanli is extremely shocked when she sees Wen Xu's severed head, and turns away in horror, preferring to calmly rest her eyes on dozens of crow-pecked corpses.

Jin Zixuan tries to comfort her and she tells him she'll be going now, thanks for the hospitality. He tries to say that he has to personally deliver her to a representative of the patriarchy one of her brothers, but then one of her brothers shows up.

Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng arrive, having presumably flown there from Qishan. They show that they are flying by blowing a fan on the ground and then jumping off of a box, which is better than the effects we were subjected to earlier in the episode.

Jiang Cheng rushes over to have an emotional reunion with Jiang Yanli, while Lan Wangji rushes over to have an emotional reunion with Wen Xu’s severed head. Jin Zixuan kind of spoils it for him by talking about Wei Wuxian's absence while Lan Wangji is trying to have a moment.

The whole time Jin Zixuan is talking to him, Lan Wangji appears to be gazing into the middle distance but in fact he is staring at Wen Xu's severed head. This is the guy who led the burning of Cloud Recesses, killed a bunch of disciples, and personally broke Lan Wangji's leg. Lan Wangji stares at his head for more than a full minute before glancing away.

Jiang Yanli hasn't seen Jiang Cheng since they were in Wen Qing's clinic, and she is happy he's recovered. When she asks about Wei Wuxian he gives her the bad news in the classic Jiang fashion, which is to say nothing, but look stricken until your interlocutor figures out that something is horribly wrong, but not precisely what.

Four Angry Men

Inside the fortress, Nie Mingjue is slapping the table and saying, this bad boy can hold so much resentment and vengeance. They're having a mini war council and we're getting a better sense of Nie Mingjue's anger management problem. Note for those who don't get the gif reference: this is a The Godfather joke, not a sex joke, but it can be both, if you like.

We're also getting a little more info about Baxia, who seems to be eager to go fight even without anyone wielding it. (Her? Him? Them? do swords have gender? I don't know). Well done, person below the camera frame whose job is to rattle Baxia in a menacing manner.

They've got a giant model of the battle targets, which looks like it was carved out of real rock (I mean, as much as any of the rocks on this show look like real rocks) and has its own table and everything, decorated in Nie colors. Where was this before they took Qinghe back? Has Nie Mingjue been traveling with it? 

Anyway, I'm assuming Nie Huaisang made it, because it's pretty nice. Hopefully they will keep it around for tabletop gaming after the war is over.

Jiang Cheng is upset but is using his anger management mantra to help control his temper while Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji talk with Nie Mingjue. 

Lan Wangji talks by leaning forward meaningfully, mostly not by using any words, but he asks for a battle assignment and Jiang Cheng immediately joins in. They both want to go find Wei Wuxian. 

Nie Mingjue says Yiling is too difficult of a target, but Lan Wangji puts on his determined face, which is apparently very persuasive.  

After Team Find Wei Wuxian leaves, Nie Mingjue asks Jin Zixuan to hang back so he can ask him how Meng Yao is doing. This is the first time he finds out that his ex didn't go to Lanling. Jin Zixuan tries to delicately remind him that Dad's got, like, SO many bastard children, they really don't have space for all of them. Nie Mingjue dismisses him immediately and abruptly. 

Nie Mingjue might invite the straights to his party but he isn't interested in actually socializing with them.

Unconditional Soup is Only for A-Xian

Jiang Cheng can't sleep, and takes some time, now, to be sad about Wei Wuxian. Presumably he spent the prior 3 months being mad, not sad, because he really thought he just buggered off without saying anything for all that time. Which is sort of fair, but sort of not. One thing about these two bros is that for as close as they have been and as much as they love each other, their mutual understanding has some big, messy gaps.

Fortunately while he is feeling sad, Jiang Cheng does not try to draw Subian from its sheath, because wouldn't THAT be awkward.

Jiang Yanli can't sleep either, and comes to sit with him. Jiang Cheng feels bad that she's wearing herself out with worry and she says "As your sister, I have nothing to do but to worry about you." Jiang Yanli isn't one to complain but she doesn't like being inactive or helpless. In Lanling she was far from the war, but now that she's in Qinghe she'll make herself useful by tending the wounded, and later she'll help Jiang Cheng shoulder his responsibilities as he takes over the Jiang clan.

At the moment, however, all she can do is fret and make soup. As she gives Jiang Cheng a bowlful she reminds him that he absolutely has to rescue their brother who has, according to his captors, been reduced to bone dust.

With all the impossible shit that Jiang Cheng is expected to achieve - and in many instances, does achieve - he is absolutely the embodiment of the Jiang Clan's motto. Fuck his father for disrespecting him because he hadn't figured out how to do everything by the age of 16.

Definitely Not Chilling in Yiling

Back in Yiling, Wen Chao is hearing the news that the Qishan Indoctrination Bureau has fallen and that he's being called back to Nightless City. Wen Chao says he shouldn't need to go back because his dad has a new right-hand man. That new right-hand man, we will eventually learn, is Meng Yao. Wang Lingjiao, meanwhile, is hiding under the bed covers and deciding it's time to dump Wen Chao.

She locks the door and goes to pull out her jewelry box, which is locked and hidden under the bed. Maybe this is Wen Chao's jewelry box, because she acts kind of squirrely about opening it. Upon opening the jewelry box, she doesn't find jewelry but a pair of bloody fake eyeballs staring at her.  She screams and freaks out and then the wind picks up and we hear the sound of a flute, playing the "I'm here to fuck your shit up" tune that Wei Wuxian likes.

Wang Lingjiao runs to the door and pulls down the protection talisman that's pasted above it, and pastes it directly to her chest instead, which is, we will learn in the next episode, the worst idea she could possibly have at this point.

Then she uses a poking stick to go flip the jewelry box open and finds it's full of ugly-ass jewelry again, plus an improbable number of weird round paper-mache biscuits that have been painted gold. None of this jewelry looks anything like the exquisite accessories people wear in this show, which means this stash was put together by the practical effects department, not by the costume department.

Anyway, Wang Lingjiao apparently thinks she can sell this fakeass stuff for a good price, so more power to her. But then we get a short glimpse of the menacing eyeballs again, this time on the floor, having moved out of the box and brought their little blood pool with them. Screeching ensues.

Next episode: Lady in Red!

Soundtrack: Twa Corbies, by Steeleye Span

[beautifulterriblequeen]

For the ask game: tdp and lotr ;)

Ohoho I see how it is, fam! Gosh, okay uhhhhhhhh

TDP

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - Runaan, my angsty long-haired neurodiverse stabby honorable hot elf son who is hopelessly in love with his husband and cannot say feelings to save his life

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - Bait, tubby lump o' grump, a rainbow of colors and feelings

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - Opeli, Queen of Order and President/Founder of the We Hate Viren Club, what is their combined backstory like, gosh

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) -Crow Master, my emo son, what is up with his corvid-shaped shadow, he tries so hard to do a Good Job!

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - Viren, High Mage of Katolis, Bi Disaster Man, Irredeemable(?) Asshole, Horny On Main For Elves Power, Stealer of Shirts, Eater of Orange Peels, Swiper of Crowns, Locker-upper of Children, Devil-Dealing Dumbass, Reluctant Blood Ritual Performer, Just Generally Thirsty, Researcher and Schemer Extraordinaire Yet Still So Foolable, Smooth-kneed for Saleer, First of His Name

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - ahaha no this would also be Viren if I wanted to break someone, but usually I torment Runaan because he can take it

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - you might think I will say Aaravos, but it's actually whoever is responsible for the Moonshadow elves having to deal with the angst of blood promises/binding ribbons and having assassins in the first place. Someone set this precedent, and it's still here, ruining human and elven lives/families alike. So if that's a dragon, like Luna Tenebris, fine. If it's Bloodmoon Huntress, fine. If it's still Aaravos, fine. May every step they take on the path to superhell land on a Lego.

LOTR

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) - Elvenking Thranduil, yes I have a type, stoic white-haired queer badass leaders who protect their people in problematic ways while looking hot, what about it

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) - Kili, he's literally a chibi dwarf, come on

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) - Celebrimbor, the elven smith who got fooled into making the Rings of Power. He's kinda a Feanor 2.0, except way better than the OG redheaded disaster elf because his heart was in a much better place, and realistically who wouldn't fall prey to the charms of Sauron? Anyway, he makes pretty magic artifacts, he's an artificer and that's freaking awesome

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) - gotta be the Mouth of Sauron, he's freaky and gross but somehow weirdly compelling

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) - Denethor, Steward of Gondor, for the sheer amount of family and cultural angst he can carry all at once, he's an idiotic drama king steward and he drives so much of the plot with his dumb slanted perspective... He's basically a Viren

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) - Gimli son of Gloin, because he howls so horribly and Generally Emotes With Overkill, but also so his gentle elven prince, Legolas Greenleaf, can show up to help calm him down and set things right again

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) - Smaug! He's a sad little king of a sad little hill, petty and cruel, a tiny little bitch and a coward, pathetic but not even in an interesting meow meow way like Denethor. Just fall, burn, and perish already, you paper airplane lightweight. Ugh.

DUDE this was fun, tysm!!

[syndianites]

A Queen Serve and Protects

Chapter Six

First Chapter –> Last Chapter –> Current –> Next Chapter TBA! Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Pollen tapped the tablet pen on the table. School had ended and the duo was officially home.

“Chloe,” Pollen began. “It has come to my attention that you don’t do your own work.”

“So?” Chloe nonchalantly replied, crossing one leg over the other from where she sat on the chaise in front of Pollen.

Pollen tried not to roll her eyes. “So, I want you to learn how to be self-sufficient.”

Chloe scoffed. “I am plenty self-sufficient.”

“Really?” Pollen had a sweet smile on her face. “Then prove it.”

:readmore:

Before Chloe could make any remark, Polle flew over to her school bag. It looked more like a purse, honestly, with how much makeup and accessories she had stashed away inside. Seriously, what did you need an extra pair of heels for?

Pollen shook off the thought and grabbed the binder Chloe used for class, as well as her homework folder. Brining both items back to the table, she flipped the folder open. She pulled out the first sheet of homework she saw- something math related- and waved a paw at it.

Chloe gave her a dumbfounded look. “You want me to do that? Sabrina normally does.”

Pollen raised an eyebrow.

“Ugh, fine, I get it.” Chloe grumbled. “What does doing my own work have to do with being self-sufficient anyway?”

“When was the last time you did your own school work.”

“Ughhhh!”

Letting out a little giggle, Pollen decided to make a compromise, “For every question you get correct, I’ll let you ask a question about the Bee miraculous and its powers. However!” Pollen held a paw up before Chloe could get too excited, “For each you get wrong, you have to listen to some history and background on the miraculous.”

“Ooo-kay? How is that a loss for me? I still get to know what I want to know,” Chloe replied.

If only the poor girl knew.

Pollen beamed. “I’m glad you asked! You know how much you love our ‘Bee Nice’ Sessions?”

Chloe groaned.

“Anything I tell you will come along with lessons. I will tell you tales that are important for a number of reasons. And you have to sit through all of them!”

Chloe’s eye twitched. That sounded excruciating. Buuuut, she did want to know more about what powers the Bee miraculous could give her. It was just a simple math worksheet. Surely, it couldn’t be that hard. So Chloe took out a blank sheet of paper and began working.

She was wrong. So, so wrong. Chloe was by no means a bad student. She got solid B’s and pleased her daddy enough with her grades to get by. Did she need to have a study session with Sabrina before each test or quiz to get the contents down? Yes.

But that was all pish-posh. She figured if she could pick up enough for a test or quiz a day before it, she could do homework with no problem. Apparently, she hadn’t been giving Sabrina enough credit. That girl made it so much easier than this.

It didn’t help that her notes were a total disaster. Half-finished sentences, unclear instructions, and a clear lack of interest in each page. For a moment Chloe cursed her own apathy. She wanted to know more, damnit! 

By the time she finished she felt exhausted. Pollen, ever chipper, hummed as she looked through each question. She procured a pen and started making marks. That was a lot of red. Oh GOD, there was so much red.

Pollen tapped the pen to her chin in thought. Giving a nod, she wrote a score at the top of her sheet.

6/15. 

That was just under half! And that meant she would have failed had it been a test. Chloe resisted the urge to hit her head on the table. She could not afford to be forced into tutoring. Again.

Despite Chloe’s despair, Pollen was excited. This was better than she was expecting! Sure, she had been hoping for closer to a 75% or 80%, but Chloe at least had the idea down.

Plus this meant she could drill some more lessons into her charge.

Rubbing her paws together, she addressed Chloe. “Alright. Since it is almost an even split, let’s go back and forth with questions and history. I’ll start with a history lesson first, since you missed more than you got correct. But since I’m feeling nice, I’ll give you a choice here: Would you rather hear some history about my previous holders first, or about all the miraculous as a whole?”

“Your past wielders, of course! I need to know who would be so lucky to use the same miraculous as moi.” Chloe flipped her hair back to accentuate her point.

Pollen huffed. Nonetheless, she thought back to her past holders, humming all the while. Who would be the best to start with to help Chloe learn? 

She smiled as someone came to mind. “Now, before we start, I should say that we aren’t always deployed to battle some great evil. Sometimes, we are let out into the world to help inspire something. For me, I either inspire Order and Control. Or, when that gets to be too much, I inspire freedom from Order and Control.”

“Wait,” Chloe interrupted. “Why would you go against your whole Order thing?”

“I thought you wanted to talk about past wielders first,” Pollen brought a paw up to her lips to hide a smile. “To get into that would mean I would have to talk about all the miraculous.”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Tell me the basics about all the miraculous first. But! You better tell me about your past users after!” Chloe conceded, pouting at the little god.

Pollen started again. “Like I said, we don’t always need a great evil to fight. At their core, each miraculous is meant to balance out their respective aspects. Tikki- Ladybug’s kwami- is the kwami of Light and Creation, for example. She is largely put out into the world to inspire new ideas and innovation.”

Chloe scrunched her nose in confusion. “Didn’t you say you also get put out to stop Order and Control? Why would you ever want to stop Light and Creation?”

“Well,” Pollen looked off to the side. “You can’t endlessly create. Tikki works on a more individual scale. She inspires Light and Creation in people as individuals. I, however, inspire Order and Subj- Control in a much larger scheme. After all, a bee’s focus is on the hive, isn’t it?”

“In any case, sometimes people burn themselves out when creating too much or spreading too much light. If you give and give and give, what is left for you? Nothing. And those left with nothing often crumble and fall apart- or worse. Tikki, when she is needed to, can either help her holder ease off themselves or help their holder teach others to let go of such demanding responsibility.”

Chloe nodded slowly. That… sort of made sense. “So it’s like when Adr- a friend of mine kept being happy and smiling even after his mother died to help others stop being sad. Because he wanted others to feel ‘lighter’” She made finger quotes, “Despite the tragedy that happened?”

“Yes, that could be a good example,” Pollen agreed. “If your friend gave away all his light and such to others, it could burn him out and leave him feeling empty and cold. Though, in this case I would lean more into the Peacock- he worked to give good emotion to others to cover their grief. But we’ll get there in a moment.”

“Plagg, Chat Noir’s kwami, is Tikki’s counterpart. He is the kwami of Dark and Destruction.” Pollen stopped as Chloe seemed to ponder that.

“If he is all about dark and destruction, wouldn’t that make him more likely to be evil?” Chloe mused.

Pollen, for her part, wasn’t bothered by the question. “If I am all about order and control, wouldn’t I be more likely to use and abuse people?”

Chloe bit her lip, but shook her head no.

“Exactly. Just because that is what we represent it does not mean we are prone to be good or evil. In the balance of all things, there IS no good and evil. Really, it just comes down to what a certain group likes or dislikes, or how a person’s morals are aligned.”

“Okay, no, Hawkmoth is totally evil. There is no doubt about that. How could taking control of others and using their emotions to turn them into monsters be seen as a good thing?” Chloe didn’t like the idea of Hawkmoth being in the ‘right’ at all. It went against everything he had done to Paris.

“Well,” Polled offered, “Does Hawkmoth see himself as evil?”

Chloe sat back in her seat. If movies were anything to go by, he probably didn’t. She sighed and motioned Pollen to continue

Pollen pushed on. “In any case, Plagg is often put into the world to ruin things. Surprising, isn’t it? But sometimes the best things are made in the ashes of destruction. Growing from losing things is important for many people. Like how your friend lost his mom- he likely felt sad and lost. But if he grew from that? He could learn to see that others will have his back and he can lean on them. Even in the hard times.”

Chloe looked away from Pollen. She was right, sort of. When Adrien’s mom died, Chloe had been there trying her best to cheer him up. Did it really work? No. But she helped him escape the house and run around the city with her, and watch stupid cartoons and shows, and sometimes, just sometimes, get him to smile.

“But losing your mom isn’t a good thing!” Chloe snapped back. “That devastated my friend and his family.”

“I know, and I’m sorry I painted it as such. Loss is a horrible thing to endure. But I wanted to make a connection to something you mentioned.” Pollen bowed her head. “Destruction is rarely a happy thing. But, a more positive example would be something more metaphorical- the destruction of insecurities, or breaking a bad relationship, or- or bashing down a wall so you can open up a room to have more space!”

Sighing, Pollen shook her head. “It is far too easy to see Dark and Destruction as a bad thing. Darkness can be used to hide when you don’t feel safe. Or it can be used to tone down how bright something is when you feel blinded. It can also be used as a complement and give things more depth.”

“Of course, Plagg has also been put out to tame destruction. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘fighting fire with fire’? It’s the idea that you fight destruction with destruction. But he can also help people see their bad habits, or the things that hurt them, and get them to reign them in and stop themselves before it’s too late.”

“Okay, sure, that makes sense. But didn’t you just describe Tikki and Plagg as opposites anyway? Light and Dark, Creation and Destruction? Why do they need to get people to go against their aspect when the other IS the opposite?” Chloe butt in.

Pollen brightened. “That’s technically later in this lesson, but I can touch on it now. You’ve likely noticed that Ladybug and Chat Noir came together as a pair, correct?” At Chloe’s nod, she continued. “That is because they are like Yin and Yang- opposites that complete each other. While other kwamis do have opposites, none quite work the same as Tikki and Plagg. They were once a single being- one that was the kwami of Balance.”

“Well,” Pollen rubbed her cheek, “They weren’t a kwami, per se. But that is too much to explain for right now. You recall how Hawkmoth’s goal is to get the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous?”

“Of course, that’s all he ever talks about when he akumatizes someone!”

“Well, that’s because when you combine the two into one you can have any wish granted.”

“What!” Chloe slammed her hands down on the coffee table, startling Pollen. “That’s horrible! I mean, the power is cool, but if Hawkmoth got his grubby hands on that wish who knows what he would wish for!” 

“Exactly! But there’s a catch with that- whatever you wish for will have an equal and opposite consequence. If you wished for someone to come back to life? Someone else must die. If you want to have all the power in the world? Everyone else must become powerless. These may sound simple, but the gravity is just as dire as the wish would be grand.”

Chloe fell back. “So, if I- well, if I wished for my mom to love me..?”

“It depends,” Pollen shrugged. “Maybe everyone else around you would hate you. Maybe your father would stop loving you. Or, in a more subtle fashion, she wouldn’t love the real you, just a facsimile of you. Whoever she thinks you are. Sure, there are ways to make a wish that has a mostly positive outcome- for the one making the wish- but the consequence will always hurt someone. Even if it has to be a lot of someones.”

The two fell into silence after that declaration. It was a heavy thought. What could drive someone to want to change something so badly they would be willing to suffer or let others suffer for it? How cold hearted must you be? 

The whole thing baffled Chloe. She could just ring her father and have what she wanted with no consequence. Could she imagine doing something so drastic as to ruin someone’s life to make hers better?

Instead of voicing any of this, Chloe leaned forward. “So tell me about the other miraculous…”

[ihatetaxes99]

A Brief Retrospective Look At MVA (In The Anime)

Well. Here we are. Every end of the time is another begun. After what has felt like years of anticipation (mostly because it actually has been years), My Villain Academia has been fully animated. Well, "fully" may be the wrong word here, but that's something I'll get into later.

To honour the end of the arc, I decided to do two things: One, I re-read the entirety of the arc in the manga all in one sitting; Two, I rewatched all five episodes of the anime's adaptation back to back once again. My life is pain and I know not of sleep. Anyway, the reason I did this is because of a little project I proposed to myself back just before the first episode aired; Once MVA was done and dusted, I would go back and give my own retrospective on the whole thing. Because why the hell not, sounds like fun. This will also hopefully be less emotional than my thoughts I shared as the episodes were still airing, but who knows?

So, let's begin. And I wish to start by stating that My Villain Academia is my absolute favourite arc in the manga. It did a lot of things right. It focused entirely on my favourite faction, the villains. It offers a glimpse into their lives and goes a long way in humanising them, particularly Spinner and Shigaraki. It sets up key points for others too, such as Mr. Compress' habit of thinking more about the bigger picture than the others, which would factor into his major reveal during the Paranormal Liberation War and of course the formation of the Front itself. It introduced us to Rikiya Yotsubashi, one of my favourite characters in the manga, even if he honestly peaked in this arc and was never as good again. And it gave us a large-scale, grueling fight for supremacy in which I found myself actively rooting for the League. It is, in my mind, the very best of BNHA, the only arc I would want them to do well in the anime. They could screw up literally everything else and I would be happy if MVA was even just as good as the manga, it didn't even need to be better. I would have been delighted to have an excuse to experience the arc all over again, seeing my favourite moments with the sublime soundtrack and voice acting.

Yeah… 

But before I get to that, let us take a little trip of sorts down memory lane to see the road to MVA, what led to it. So, 2021 rolls around. What a fun year. It's just 2020 without the excitement of everything being so uncertain, and frankly it's been really fucking boring as a year. However, BNHA Season Five was announced. In February, we get the first trailer for the upcoming season. It's... It's fine. Obviously, it focuses heavily on the Joint Training Arc (in fact, that is all it shows) and although I despise that arc with a passion, it's not too bad. I had not watched the anime since Overhaul ended, so my plan was I just wouldn't watch JTA and would wait until the big attraction, MVA. And so, Joint Training starts. And it goes on. And on. And on. I checked back almost two months later to discover it still wasn't over yet. Now I found this odd. Joint Training Arc was horrible for many reasons, but the big one was that it dragged on for so long as a result of Horikoshi's health complications, which is by no means his fault. But, surely the anime, which would consistently release on a weekly basis, wouldn't have the issues associated with this. Episodes of BNHA have always encompassed around three to five chapters, and Joint Training's were shorter than usual, so why was it taking more than ten episodes to adapt it? 

Very strange, but I didn't question it much. Then, the key visuals released, confirming that MVA was at the very least happening. Great, wonderful. I love it. We've got the whole gang there, seeming like they're in Deika, looks pretty good.

Wait, did I say whole gang? Yeah, my bad, there was someone missing. Spinner. Now, I am not the biggest Spinner fan so I wasn't prepared to riot over his exclusion like I would have been if Compress wasn't in it. But this was starting to get strange. Spinner was the main narrator of MVA. Even if his importance was not on the level of Shigaraki, Twice and Toga, it was certainly more than Dabi and Compress, who did both appear in the art. Why was he excluded? Obviously, I bet you're all having a good old chuckle to yourselves right now because in retrospect, this makes perfect sense now.

Alright, then. I heard from a friend around June time that Joint Training was finally over. Awesome, great, time for the good stuff- why is there a Christmas episode here?

Yes, this was probably what really started to get the alarm bells in my mind going. The Christmas episode- in June. Very, very strange. Also, absolutely no mention of Rikiya, which even if they were reshuffling things, I would have expected him to appear in the episode of Bakugo and Todoroki getting their licenses, since it directly ties in. Concern levels rising, I shrugged it off and waited for next week.

Bam. Major reshuffling. Now, Endeavour Agency comes first, fuck you if you want context for who the hell the PLF are or the significance of Destro's memoirs. This was really starting to worry me now. I told myself that the key visual meant that MVA had to be happening, but it was starting to seem like the villains were being shafted. A fact not helped by the new OP.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to complain or whine, but season five's second OP is just bad. The music is fine, I have no problem there. But the visuals are just awful. Not only is there an extended focus on that stupid bloody trio of Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki, not only is there more screentime given to characters who don't appear in MVA or EA than the main cast of the former, but the animation itself is just so stiff and lacking. It had potential, but the visuals are the worst out of any recent anime opening I've seen in a good few years and this was what got me really panicking.

Boom, a beach episode smack in the middle of Endeavour Agency to promote the upcoming movie. Boom, adapting two chapters per episode during EA. Boom, the Shirakumo episode, which I always thought was part of the War Arc and not EA. But finally, mercifully, the title leaks came and it was revealed that episode 20 of season five would be the start of MVA.

20. Out of 25. And it was pretty obvious that they weren't going to end the season with MVA, so really, up to 24. Ohhh no…

But hey, I'm an optimist sometimes. I was excited to just finally be clear of all this nonsense and get to the real good stuff. Hell, in preparation, I watched the entirety of the season up to that point. I finally realised why JTA took so long and it's one of the most depressing things I've ever learned, in a bad way. Were all those flashbacks really necessary? EA was okay, as someone who as a manga reader, already had the necessary context for the PLF stuff. The beach episode, I watched half of, got too bored and skipped the rest of. And you know what, I liked the Shirakumo chapters. They weren't as good in the anime, but it was nice to see.

And then, finally, in comes episode one of My Villain Academia, on a cold, dark August morning. I even bought Crunchyroll Premium to watch it as soon as possible, I was excited. All the messing around, all the crap, it was finally over and the time had come to enjoy what this season was really all about.

I can now safely say why Bones kept pushing back MVA, because if I was them, I would be embarrassed to show this.

No, that's not fair. I promised I wouldn't get too snarky, so let's reek things back in. As a whole, MVA has been… fine. Just fine. Not good enough to justify the bullshit, but not horrendous (mostly.) In fact, right now, I'll give a ranking of the episodes, my worst to best:

5) Episode One 

4) Episode Two

3) Episode Three

2) Episode Five

1) Episode Four

Yeah. So, there's a clear pattern here, that things more or less got better as time went on. From just straight up bad, to still not great, to alright, to the final two episodes being what I would comfortably call good. This is not a good look. I'm sorry, but Episode One, an episode that I just called bad, is still one of the season's best in spite of that. That spells out awful things for this season as a whole. But what exactly made this such a disaster?

Well, cut content is the big thing. MVA in the anime cuts out:

The League's battle with the CRC

Their struggle with poverty

The sushi joke setup

All of Spinner's character

All of Rikiya's character, including most mentions of Detnerat and Miyashita

Fairly integral pieces of Skeptic's character

Most of Giran's integrity and bravery

This doesn't look too bad at first. It could be far worse. We got basically everything else from the arc, so what? Well, I would already be annoyed about all of these cuts, but the issue is that they cause a knock on effect. Without the establishment of the League's poverty, the payoff of Toga's duffle coat now makes no sense. Without the setup of Spinner's characterisation, his battle with Hanabata now feels hollow. Rikiya's surrender to the League now makes even less sense, as his love of human life and desire to cause no more death is completely non-existent. The first time Rikiya being a CEO is mentioned is in the closing minutes of the arc. The sushi scene is hamfisted into a two second flashback just so that the payoff makes some sort of sense, but again, it is hollow without it being at the start (this is also the first mention of the League's poverty and it literally happens just as they are freed from it.) Can you see how these little seemingly unimportant cuts spiral into bigger problems? I would have been pissed even if they hadn't caused some tremendous cascades, but the fact that they did just makes this from a subjective issue to an objective one.

Yes. They did some things well. Toga's backstory is mostly intact, SMP is just as satisfying as the manga, Tenko's backstory is one of the best things the anime has ever done, the awakening is very well done, I adore the PLF formation as much as I did in the manga. Everything important is intact, but as I keep saying, you cannot just keep the bare minimum and expect it to work. How about in the next arc, they decide to cut everything involving Bakugo out, and only keep him jumping in front of Midoriya because it's the only absolutely necessary thing he does in the arc? People would be pissed, and it's the same thing that's happening here. It's a problem, it's not just a bad adaptation, it leads to bad storytelling in general.

The animation. Now, I do not believe this is a be all, end all. BNHA's anime is never going to look as gorgeous as Horikoshi's art, that is a fact and I do not begrudge them for that. They have a week to draw hundreds upon hundreds of frames, it's not a process that lends itself well to good looks and the animators and artists do their best with what they have. This does not change the fact that it is extremely hit or miss. Some things, Tenko's backstory in particular, look fantastic. Other things, mostly every action scene, make me laugh at how bad they can look and some things, particularly Twice and Re-Destro's hideous designs in the anime, make me cringe. The lighting is also an issue. Garaki's lab looked fantastic, but every other scene is just boring mid-afternoon with dull, basic lighting. I don't expect huge detail, but sometimes, it fails to achieve competency and as an extremely popular show, I don't think that's okay. I don't blame the animators, I blame the higher ups. And while I wouldn't mind the poor animation and art in an MVA that at least has all the story content, this does not have that and so I am even harsher than I would have been.

MVA was rushed. That's not up for debate. It took forever to get to it and once it came, things moved so quickly that they gave me whiplash, with no time to think or lament. Now, this could be attributed to the story structure of the arc, which is essentially a series of big fights, and it just isn't as bad in the manga because I can stop at any time to catch my breath. But I think it's worth noting that the anime at least highlights these issues. Curious dies in the same episode where she first appears, really driving home how pointless she was in the end. Episode Two alone tries to cover everything from the journey to Deika up until Jin finding Toga's body. That's a lot of content to fit in one twenty minute period and it was bound to feel messy in the end. I will say that, much like everything aside from the animation, this did get better as time went on, with episodes three, four and five adapting more reasonable amounts of content, compared to one giving us almost nothing and two giving us too much.

At the end of the day, that was it. The show's over. MVA has been closed in the anime. It will never be given a chance to improve, to go from just fine to anything even close to the manga. Why did this happen? I don't think we'll ever truly know. Some blame the new movie, others the studio's lack of faith in the villains, and there are those who say that it's just how fate turned out. I personally think it's a combination of all of these things. Without the movie, that beach episode wouldn't exist, giving more time to MVA, without the studio's hesitation, we'd perhaps get stuff like an actual good OP and perhaps some more general hype for it (I mean, MVA didn't even get a trailer.) Whatever the reason is, we got what we got. My verdict is something that's very overplayed as of late, but seriously, just read the manga with the fantastic soundtrack playing in the background. The anime's adaptation of MVA is not worth the time investment, when you could read the manga in roughly the same length of time and get more content, a more coherent plot and beautiful artwork.

So, what may come next for Season Six? I don't know. Season Five has definitely been one of the most unpopular seasons in the anime, with a lot of people speaking out against it, but this mostly seems to come from the Western fanbase, so it's up in the air if Bones will learn from their mistakes. Since they'll have a full season to do presumably the War and Rouge Deku arcs, then I feel like they'll put on a better show. But we just don't know. Spinner had his spotlight stolen this time around, will Compress suffer the same fate in Season Six? Dabi and Toga will probably be handled well, since they have inexplicably high amounts of popularity, but with his own lack of recognition rivalling Spinner's, I can see Sako ending up much the same way. Time will tell, I suppose.

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

Don't feel like you have to make a list or anything but do you have any specific fic recs? I just really enjoyed that one you mentioned!

OH BOY DO I

Jonny Recommends a Bunch of OP Fics

(i know you said no need to make a list but i’m gonna anyways, here’s a bunch of junk grabbed from the mess that are my bookmarks. most of these will be gen and G/T rated unless indicated otherwise cause that’s how i roll. i feel like i’m not very good at describing things to make them sound appealing but i will try! if nothing else, know i’ve read everything on this list at least two or three times.)

Oneshots, AKA Most of What I Read

Ring Around by Maldoror_Chant - ~600 words - Platonic kisses!! It’s just so goddamn cute please read it.

Underwater by ThisCat - ~1000 words - In which Luffy almost drowns, and thinks about some stuff, and the author has one of the best grasps on his personality and attitude towards death I’ve ever seen. Also every time I reread this I find myself holding my breath, which should tell you something. 

✖ by Faktory - ~1000 words - Vivi gets a tattoo, for remembrance’s sake. We need more Vivi in fic just in general, and this one is just so warm and meditative and lovely.

reach up to me (if you even can) by guiltylights - ~1500 words - Look it’s just a fic about Ace getting to see tiny Luffy post Gear Third and laughing his ass off for a solid five minutes. Good shit. Brothers. 

In Another Life by marimoes - ~1800 words - Hey I know you guys love Doflamingo and Rocinante do yourselves a favor and just read this one? It’s not happy but man it sure is something. Closure? I dunno but it’s good. 

tomorrow never happens by midnightluck - ~2000 words - Pre-canon, Sabo runs into a Vice Admiral who seems to know him for some reason and everything works out pretty well. 

Back So Soon by Moriohno - ~3000 words - Post-canon, Brook keeps his promise, just go read it right now it might make you cry but like for happy reasons. 

A Way to Reach the Future by JadeFlicker - ~3000 words - The Strawhats accidentally land on the frozen wasteland that used to be Ohara. More hopeful than you’d think. Also one of the few fics I can’t read in public because I will cry. 

Interlude for Eight Straw Hats and One Giraffe by Maldoror_Chant - ~4000 words - Kaku has a terrible horrible no good very bad day, and probably has to falsify a mission report. Honestly just hilarious from start to finish. 

paint the flag and fly it high by Codedredalert - ~4000 words - Pre-canon fic about the baby Heart Pirates stealing a submarine, designing their Jolly Roger, and largely failing to paint said Jolly Roger on said submarine. 

disaster in the making (we’re not sorry for it) by guiltylights - ~4000 words - The original fic I recced that prompted this ask, but I’m putting it here again now that I’m making a proper list cause it’s just excellent and needs more appreciation. Law crashes a Shichibukai meeting with a big sack of hearts and Hancock and Doflamingo get to bear witness. 

Deliverance by Sarcasticles - ~7000 words - Listen, I know a lot of you who follow me love Sabo and Koala. Read this fic. Pre-canon, they have their first mission on their own, everything goes wrong, Sabo does some arson, it’s excellent. 

Prospects by BrambleFuzz - ~9000 words - Katakuri joins the long list of people who did not get the heads up that friendship with Monkey D. Luffy isn’t optional once he’s made up his mind about it. Rip.

Birds of Alubarna by kurgaya - ~29000 words - The Strawhats go to a masquerade and that’s kind of all I can say about the plot on this one- and okay listen I know it’s long and also kind of baffling at first but YALL this author’s prose is so floaty and magical and it goes so well with the sort of unreal fantastical nature of events and it’s just good?? It’s just good. Also Vivi is in it and that’s always a bonus.

Chaptered Fics, AKA Half of These are Fix-It Fics and I’m Not Sorry

Lionheart by cyan96 - ~28000 words, Unfinished - tbh I nearly didn’t put this one on the list because I feel like most people who follow me have probably already read it, since I read my tags and I know how many of you love Law and Cora, but, on the off chance you haven’t, go read it rn. Go. Do it. 

Sea of Monsters by WhirlyBird70 - ~32000 words, Unfinished but it’s more like a bunch of short stories anyways - Bunch of fucked up stuff in this one so mind the tags but like, it’s a The East Blue is Full of Demons AU and it’s good weird shit so if you’re into that go read it. 

Small Changes by sweetscentences - ~37000 words, Finished - More Law and Cora. Honestly this one is just… so happy and domestic and good?? Also it’s got baby Heart Pirates, and they’re fucking adorable. (Also the author says they’re working on a sequel, so go support that!)

our shores of starlight (come sailing in) by kurgaya - ~46000 words, Finished - First thing on this list to not actually be gen- it’s Zolu, kinda, but not really focused on that? Mostly it’s just about Zoro. He’s a ghost in a sword, which is absolutely not gonna stop Luffy from recruiting him. I already talked about how great kurgaya’s prose is somewhere above this and that applies here too, it’s just gorgeously written. 

Scylla by missmungoe - ~50000 words, Finished - Technically this one’s not gen either, it’s Makino/Shanks. Makino marries a pirate, becomes a pirate, gets a sword, nearly gives Garp an aneurysm. Please read it. 

Overcoming an Era by Beyond_Kailani - ~60000 words, Unfinished - Ace bumps into a very familiar blonde in a top hat while searching for Blackbeard and ends up dragging him along. Maybe my favorite ongoing fic? I’m a huge sucker for canon divergence with regards to the ASL brothers and this is just, that, and it’s wonderful. 

Within Risk of Reason by Depths - ~60000 words, Unfinished - Another Sabo-centric ASL fix it, I’m a simple woman with simple tastes- but really. It’s got time travel, and crimes, and vaguely dubious adoption. What more do you need? It’s so so good. 

Obligatory Shitty Self-Promotional Note

I’m not narcissistic enough to make a whole nother list here, but I also write OP fic and my ao3 is Origamidragons if you want to check that out! 

[azems-familiar]

Completely unrelated to an ask prompt I'm just bored so rate all the swtor companion crews from your most to least favorite.

*rubs hands together* excellent i needed something to procrastinate on anyway

OKAY. so. my least favorite crew probably has to end up being the consular crew, i’m sorry guys! i would actually die for Felix, and Nadia is precious and needs to be protected, but i could take or leave the other three (although Zenith makes an interesting companion for a ds consular). overall, i’d give it a 5/10, with a fem consular automatically bumping it up to a 6/10 because Felix is wonderful.

next up, at a solid 6.5/10, maybe 7/10 if i’m feeling generous, is the Trooper crew. Elara is my Wife and i actually love the extremely overenthusiastic war droid you get but other than that, most of them don’t stand out too much? but they’re a solid squad for the trooper, i respect that.

next we have the smuggler crew, who cannot rise above a 7/10 because of Corso. i’m sorry, i really am, Risha and Akaavi are fabulous, but Corso. just. Corso. i had to play a male smuggler because i could not handle the farmboy. 

after this, bounty hunter crew, 7.5/10, physically incapable of going higher because i want to throw Skadge out an airlock. but they also have Gault and Blizz, who are amazing, and Torian, who i also love dearly, and just. the aesthetic of the four real companions and the most prestigious bounty hunter in the galaxy causing chaos and running around in a stolen, remodeled school bus is so fucking funny.

8/10 would be the agent’s crew. i actually really enjoy all five companions (yes, even SCORPIO, she doesn’t turn into a bitch until kotfe, at which point i will gladly murder her), Vector is one of my favorite base game romance options, Lokin is such a unique character, i don’t like Kaliyo so much as a person but as a character she’s a fascinating part of the agent’s crew and has the dubious honor of being the only older woman who isn’t dependent on the player character for at least part of the story, so there’s that, and then Raina is a delight and has such a cool story.

sitting at a solid 9/10 for literally two people is the knight’s crew. Scourge and Kira are possibly my favorite companions in the game. i adore them SO MUCH. Scourge is such a horrible dramatic bastard man and his and Kira’s dynamic in the expansions is possibly my favorite part. the entire time spent wandering through Satele Shan’s ship? Scourge’s “I NEED MY SPACE” line? please just kill me now. for the rest of the companions, T7 is a precious droid, i really could care less about Rusk, and i’d like to throw Doc out an airlock please. multiple times, preferably.

10/10 is the warrior’s crew. like, i don’t much care for Broonmark or Pierce (mostly i get tired of the “black ops black ops black ops” every time Pierce opens his mouth), but they’re both interesting characters that have a lot to add to the story in terms of the warrior’s arc. Jaesa and Vette are both WONDERFUL, i cannot overstate that, and gods, Quinn my beloved, i have so many Thoughts about him and my warrior and how that goes and i love the fact that we get to have a companion who isn’t completely loyal to us the whole time and i wish the game explored the fallout of that more! the quinncident is so interesting! please bioware i’m begging you explore the consequences of the things you put the player character through (where is my knight’s fucking Vitiate trauma you fuckers-)

finally. 12/10, literal perfection, could not have asked for a better crew - the inquisitor. the ancient Dashade assassin that eats Force users and shows his affection with death threats! the overenthusiastic archeologist with very little concept of “oh Sith temples are probably dangerous and i shouldn’t go there without a Sith”! an actual apprentice from Korriban Nox gets to train! the half-fallen Jedi who is also the Single Impulse Control on this ship! the disaster pirate husband who brings his girlfriend LITERAL SWORDS to show his affection oh my god has there ever been a more perfect ship in existence i think not. i think not.