#how do you spell squirl?

[random-rants-n-rambles]

The Bells Hells: Yes this is our dog Chet. He’s a very high energy working dog, very happy to socialize with other dogs and have tasks to complete, not as good with other people. Prefers fresh meat over kibble and will even catch a squirrel or rabbit. He barks quite a lot, but just give him a stick and he’ll keep himself entertained for hours, he loves chewing on sticks and all kinds of wood, never scratched the table legs though. Usually not very aggressive, but if he feels threatened he can get quite destructive.

[kookieswan]

How do I spell squirl. Squrell? Squerrl? OMFG you know that animal that lives in trees and puts nuts in there cheeks?!??!?

🐿 Squirrel. I’m glad my writing and literature minor is being used for good and not evil ✨

[louscartridge]

i dont wanna think about it!

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform without credit.

cw- nick hitting the car door, mention of stripping and selling feet pics (😭😭) thats it.

summary- theres never a bland moment with the triplets. especially if theres a video taking place.

a/n- idk if the math is right in this or if anything in this is right tbh but this is funny so oh well.

“id rather let a bird on me then a squirl” you repeat

you were in a car video with nick, matt, and chris like you often were. you were in the back sitting next to nick, matt and chris in their usual spots.

you dont even remember how you got on this topic but now you and nick are arguing over a bird.

nick turns to you even more. “no i know you did not just say that”

“did i stutter?”

“what if the bird thinks your head is a nest?”

“then i move. its really not that hard nick, if i move the bird leaves.”

“birds are scary!” nick squeals

“squirls are mean!” you squeal back

you can hear matt and chris giggling loudly and gasping for breath infront of you over you and nicks bickering.

“ok ok” matt breathlessly said, waving his hand infront of you and nick.

“ok next question next question” chris said for matt since he was still catching his breath.

“please” nick sighed loudly and read the next question. “could you live without the internet?”

matt answerd first. “you know what, i think i could.”

“matt we make money from the internet.” nick said staring at matt.

“yeah but if we didnt then yeah i could”

“matt if it werent for the internet you wouldnt be living”

“ok. nick. thats a little dramatic-”

“no its not. we get money from the internet. therefor, we get food of the internet. you know? the stuff that keeps us alive!?” nick gradually gets louder as he speaks.

“yeah ok but nick there are other jobs that dont have to do with the internet at all.”

“yeah and you get like-- what? 5 bucks an hour?”

chris gets his phone out of his back pocket after nick said that.

“ok- chris are you not participating” you say poking his sholder with your finger.

“no i am. how many hours does some one like.. a waiter work for?”

“uhh like.... i think its like a normal 9 to 5 job”

“ok so eight times five is 40 so 365 times is14,600.” when chris looks up he sees his two brothers and you looking at eachother holding in laughs.

“what?” he chuckled.

“nothing.” nick laughs back.

“ok.... well if you were to get a job as a waiter you would get $14,600 a year if you worked on weekends.”

“yeah. aka not enough to use as a living chris!”

“not my problem”

“it would be if we were living without the internet!”

“well i dont know sell pictures of your feet or something on the side” you butt in

the van was now filled with laughs again and the sound of nick hitting the door.

“it would work!”

“no, y/n, it wouldnt!” matt says grabbing your sholder. “you need the internet for that” he says inbetween laughs.

your now laughing as well. “oh”

once the laughing dies down you say “well then become a stripper i dont know”

“y/n!” nick yells “thats inapproprite.” he laughs “in-a-pro-pri-te” he continues to spell out.

“ok but think about it!”

“no, nope. not thinking about it.” nick interrupts before you could say anything else. “next question i dont wanna think about it.”

[desiree-harding-fic]

My friends and I were talking about Taakiz and my friend reminded me of that tattoo soulmate au where the first words your soulmate ever says to you is tattooed on your wrist. Kravitz wrist would say "Hey thug I'm gonna tentacle your dick."

OMG I LOVE SOULMATEAUs to DEATH

Iactually have a lot of thoughts about this. Because while I love the idea ofKravitz walking around for his whole life with “hey thug what’s your name?I’m about to tentacle your dick” on his literal body, there’s also the little detail ofthis conversation when Kravitz was first introduced in his Crystal golem bodyin Episode Two of the arc:

[ID: An image from TAZ Transcripts,describing an interaction between Taako and an unnamed crystal golem. Taako’sfirst line to the golem is “hail and well met!” Griffin describes thegolem turning its head to look at Taako, and Taako says: “My name is Taako,and you look like you’re made of salt!” End ID]

Sothere’s a few ways you could go. There have been a lot of good fics already ofthe first words being along the dick-tentacle theme, such as this one, and this one, and I think there are probably otherssquirled around in AO3 somewhere. (Side note: goddamn I’ve read a lot offanfiction).

I think Krav’s first words to Taako arepretty unequivocally: “Well this is hardly fair” at the end of episode 35or “ Well this is gonna be a lot easier than I thought. “ at the beginningof episode 36, depending on how you feel he was addressing the boys.Possibly “My Name’s Kravitz” if you consider the first words as the onesthey say to their match specifically and addressing a group doesn’t count,but…

This wasn’t supposed to be a breakdownof soulmate rules, was it? Alas. I get carried away thinking about loopholes inthese fun AUs.

If I was writing a canon-compliantsoulmate AU, I think I might do something a little like this:

*~*~*~*~*~*

Kravitz no longer has a body.

Notin the traditional sense, anyway. His body is long since gone, decayed awayinto ashes and dust, something from the earth and returned to the earth just assurely as he is dead. His soul-construct, that projection of his essence thatextends from the powers he was given by his Queen is a reflection of who he wasin life (with a few tweaks, of course). But that’s just it. There are tweaks. His soul can be assigned to anythingfrom the shape of a human man to a collection of raw material.

So when he pops into existence in theAstral Plane one day, pulls himself out of his soul-form and into the shape ofthe Grim Reaper, some two-thousand-odd years after enlisting in the Queen’sservice, and something is different, he notices right away.

There is something on his wrist.

Words.

Now, to be completely fair: Kravitz isfamiliar with the concept of soulmates. Even in his day, there were matches,people who were meant for each other. Kravitz envied the romanticism of it inlife, the balance of it. Souls made for each other.

But.

He’d never had any words on his wrist,up his forearm, curling up onto his hand. There was never anything there.

For a while, he thought perhaps it wasa fluke. After all, perhaps he was older than his soulmate. When he was achild, he would look to his wrist every morning when he awoke to see if wordshad appeared overnight, if his soulmate had just been born.

They were never there.

Ten,twenty years went by, long enough that he felt skeevy even thinking of having asoulmate that much younger than he was - how long would it be until they couldeven carry on a half-equal conversation? - and the words had never appeared,and Kravitz. Well. Kravitz gave up hoping.

It was a point of contention in life,sure, but he brushed it off as best he could. He played his music and he wrotemore, and he got up in front of groups of rag-tag troubadours and tried hishand at leading them - 

And then he died.

It was almost a relief. He foundhimself at the conclusion that his soul belonged to the Raven Queen, and whatwords could ever encapsulate that? And no mortal love could compare to thefeeling of his soul protected and bound up in power by a goddess. Soulmates areof no concern in comparison.

But today, after two thousand somethingyears… 

Words.

They’re there, on his dark skin when hematerializes false flesh, in what looks almost like silver ink, runninglong-ways up his arm. They’re pretty, kind of scripty and scrawly, and when hevanishes his flesh they’re carved into the bone, just in the same place, likean engraving. He takes his left hand, flesh covered, and runs it over askeletal right arm. The engraving is strange under his fingers.

Four little words. So unassuming.

Hetells his Queen, his goddess everything.But he does not tell her about this. What would he even say? He is not alive.His soul has already been given away. And what kind of cruel, cosmic joke is it for someone to be born inhis world, and to be destined for him, two thousand years after the end of hismortal life?

He doesn’t say anything to her, but hegets the sense that somehow she knows. And how can she not? She shaped his soulfrom the moment it left his body. She has to know everything about him. Whatdoes he think he’s hiding?

He works it off. 

But the words don’t ever leave hismind.

See,the thing about soulmates is they always meet. The conversations spelled outsecurely on a person aren’t hypotheticals, they’re true. They will happen, one day. Kravitz pretendsto forget the words, and tries not to listen for them every single day of hisunlife after the day they arrived.

The greetings were always the worstones, truly. So vague, so many possibilities for misunderstanding. But common,oh so common. At least Kravitz’s is more specific than a simple “hello.”At least very few people greet him in his line of work.

Not that he cares.

Because he doesn’t.

Why should he?

*~*~*~*~*~*

Kravitzis having something of a night.

By which, he means it’s a good nightfor killing.

Mass thefts of souls from the AstralPlane is no laughing matter, and neither are the deaths of three of the mostpowerful necromancers he’s ever seen in his book, and the fact that they’re alltogether in this floating… lab/nightmare funhouse means that Kravtiz can’tafford to lose.

Thething is, though, Kravitz is bored.

He’s so bored, he could die again. Twothousand years will do it to you. Swinging a scythe around gets old, he has toadmit. So sue him if he wants to raise the energy a little.

And in truth, going into a situationlike this, with three of the powerful necromancers on the loose along withLucas Miller - Kravitz won’t say he’s nervous, but he may be… feelingcautious. 

He finds them in a large chamber, giantcrystal formations that were once trees stretching up from the floor, and it’snot hard to pull himself together a Crystal body with which to get a look atthem, wearing truly uncanny outfits to keep from being Crystalized andwandering around the place with less direction than a stray dog.

These arethe planet’s most dangerous necromancers? The ones who hid their souls fromdeath for so long that they appeared in his book only a little over a decadeago, having died upwards of five times, every one of them?

They just seem like….

Well, like idiots.

They don’t seem intimidated by hisgolem form, laughing and joking until the tall, thin one, from what he can seeunder the suit, waves his… colleagues back a little bit, and steps forward,craning his head up to look at Kravitz’s would-be face. And then - 

“Hail and well met!”

It almost takes toolong to sink in, but when it does –

Oh dear.

This certainly isgoing to complicate things.

*~*~*~*~*~*

That turned out to be a little longer than I thought

And in true Desiree fashion, didn’t get to the hecking point XD. Alas.

I like this idea. I might let it stick around for a while.