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writingmysanity · 11 months

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Did I miss it?

Pairing: Zoro x reader

Word count: 1600

TW: drinking, reader is tipsy for sure.

A/N: Happy Birthday, Lissie!! Okay, lets try this again. My computer crashed half way through what I was writing and I lost… everything. I know I asked you a tough question the other day, and you answered lol much to your own pain – so here you go. I truly hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for being my friend and enabling me in my deranged thoughts in our messages. You're such a kind soul, and such a good mum.

I hope you’re spending your free time re-watching the video from Taz and resting. Perhaps thirsting. @stray-kaz

A/N continued: this is the first time i am writing for Zoro, I am pretty sure he is ooc here. i claim being out of practice.

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Despite how the shouts and cheers of your crew mates seem to linger around you, their laughter resting in the gusts of wind, the night is quiet. Their words are whisked away without thought or care into the night, seeming to echo back from the depths of the bay as nothing more than whispers. Obsidian waves lap at the hull of the ship, rocking the ship slowly to the tune of what your mother called the whiskey lullaby.

Taking a deep breath, you melt into the side of the ship, sinking to your knees to rest against the railing, still cradling your own glass to your chest. Moonlight washes over the deck, casting the whole of everything you can see with a blue-ish hue. The sight never ceases to amaze you, a gentle smile resting on your lips as you take in your crew, littered about the open space in various rather uncomfortable positions that make you laugh.

If you were a little less drunk, you would move to try and help them shift into at least more comfortable positions. But as things stand currently, you find you are unable to stand properly when the ship and your vision continue to move. Slowly, you shift to face out towards the water, slotting your legs through the railings to allow them to dangle, resting your head against the wood with a sigh.

Celebrations aren’t uncommon for the straw hats, and you have come to even enjoy their rambunctious energy since you joined the ragtag group of pirates. You are certainly still learning to accept their willingness to celebrate you, they certainly have made you feel as part of their family, safe and accepted,but something is missing.

A certain head of moss colored hair.

Not two weeks prior, Luffy had sent his first mate off on a special retrieval mission. Zoro had been nervous to leave, knowing he wouldn’t be able to be there for his crew, but also the certainty that he wouldn’t be able to be there for you.

Normally, he would have already crowded you away in the crows nest or back in the kitchen hiding behind the island, finishing off the last of the liquor with you, his attention solely on you. Those dark eyes locked on your form beside him as he listened to you drunkenly ramble about whatever seemed to have caught your fancy that night. The thought of not getting to celebrate with him weighing heavier on your heart than you expected it to.

You have long since stopped trying to deny your feelings for the swordsman, and though unspoken, you know he feels the same – though neither of you have tried to push it further.

Sitting in silence, you let the rush of the waters below over take your senses, the distant push and pull dancing beneath your feet coupled with the distant cry of a sea bird lifting from the oceans surface. So engrossed in your thoughts and the siren call of the sea, you don’t hear the steps rushing up the plank of wood connecting the ship to the harbor, nor the gentle bumps of the body stumbling up onto the deck as they make their way to you. You don’t hear any of it, until his voice startles you from your reverie, the depths of your thoughts lingering on him more than you would ever admit to anyone else.

“Did I miss it?” his voice is slow, measured as you yank yourself around with a gasp, nearly throwing your glass at him in surprise. At this, he chuckles, slowly moving to kneel before you, careful of his swords and your hold on the cup as he tugs it from your hand.

“Zo…” he nods slowly, gaze softening in a way that you've learned is meant only for you. “You startled me.” you confess, the drunken tilt to your words making him frown slightly. You're out here, drunk, and the only one awake.

“I noticed,” he states calmly as he slides closer, sitting beside you, relaxing at the near awestruck look painting your face, eyes wide and glassy with emotions you've yet to speak on, lips parted. “I’m sorry I’m late.” he starts again. “Did I miss it?”

“I thought you weren’t meant to be back until next week,” you stumble out, reaching for him, completely ignoring his question. Or not hearing it. Chuckling, again, he lets you tug him closer, one hand resting on his arm, the other taking the opposite hand.

“I took larger steps,” he half jokes, running his thumb over your knuckles with a gentleness no one else would believe he is capable of, your laughter earning one of his rare smiles. “Now, please answer me this time, pretty girl.” he asks slowly, catching your attention as he rests his free hand on your cheek. Nodding slowly, your eyes lock with his, immediately lost in the depths of the blackened seas washing in his gaze.

“Did I miss it?” he asks again, gently emphasizing each word. At this, you frown slightly, looking up to the moon, as if trying to discern the time. Between your addled brain, and your excitement at seeing him again so soon, you shrug with a crooked grin that leaves him dizzy.

“I don’t know,” you state honestly. “we can say no,” you offer, eyes softening as you match his gaze again, able to see that this means something to him. Sighing in relief, his shoulders sag a bit before he moves away from you, earning a soft whine. His shoulders shake at the sound, eyeing you amused.

“patience, princess,” he chides, pulling a box from the bag at his side, setting it in your lap. Its not big, it can fit in the palm of your hand, but it is expertly wrapped, a beautiful bow resting on top. Frowning, you lift it to your face, shaking it.

“What is it?” you hum, tilting your head at it. He huffs a bit, amused. He has never dealt with you when drunk, at least, not without the both of you being drunk together.

“Open it and find out,” his normal measured voice laced with an amusement he would deny later. Beaming up at him, you nod, tugging the bow lightly, watching it fall away with ease before tugging at the corner of the beautiful silver paper that gleams in the moonlight. Inside is a small box. There is nothing too special about it, a simple smooth brown box. Humming in curiosity, you tug it open, peeking in as if something would jump out before the top fumbles off completely. Inside is a thin silver chain.

Frowning, you tug it up, watching in awe as the charm swings to the end.

At first, all you're able to discern is that the charm is a silver circle. Clumsily, you grab at it, wanting to look closer, oblivious to zoro’s anxious shifting beside you. On one side, there is a compass etched into it, careful practiced lines marking each direction with a small brilliant emerald resting in the center. You stare at it for a moment before realizing you can feel the same raised edges on the other side.

Flipping it slowly, your eyebrows furrow as you try to read it, scrawled in perfect cursive.

Lets get lost together

head whipping to him, your eyes are wide, gaping at him. He shifts slightly, moving away from the railing now, eyes flitting between you and the necklace.

“Do.. do you like it?” his voice is quiet, all of his insecurities and internal doubts swarming him as you sit there, staring. After a minute of tense silence, he shakes his head, jaw tense as he moves to stand. “I knew it was a bad idea” he sighs, moving to take the offending item from your grasp, but you refuse to let go.

“you mean it?” your voice almost whisked away by the wind its so soft. This is as close to a confession as hes ever gotten other than a drunken “I like your face” or one of his pet names you’ve come to adore. He pauses again, uncertainty resting clear in his eyes as he nods slowly.

“Yeah,” his voice is quiet, watching as your demeanor switches from quiet and contemplative to bright and excited – the brilliance he finds himself melting for. Quickly, you turn, scootching the best you can, drunk and sitting, to turn your back to him while holding the necklace up impatiently.

“Put it on me,” you nearly demand before pausing, looking at him pleadingly over your shoulder. “Please.” shaking his head at your antics, he takes it from your hand gently, slowly shifting to his knees to raise it over your head and around your neck from behind. Once its clasped, he tugs it loose, allowing it to rest over your shirt, his touch lingering on your neck as he leans down slowly to whisper in your ear, the sensation making you shiver.

“Happy birthday, Princess.”

======

happy birthday, my friend. It was super quick, but I really hope you enjoy it or at least get a chuckle out of it. I hope your day is the best.

#roronoa zoro #one piece zoro #zoro x reader #zoro #one piece #one piece live action #opla #one piece netflix #opla!zoro x reader #opla!zoro

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moon-mage · 2 months

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YUUSONA || ALEXIS BAYOU

"DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY SON EVER AGAIN" - Yuu

Alias: Yuu / Alex Full Name: Alexis Bayou Age: 17 Height: 154cm | 5’0.5” Gender: Nonbinary | They/Them Sexuality: Aro/Ace Dominant Hand: Right Homeland: USA Dorm: Ramshackle Grade/Class: 1-A Club: Mountain Lovers Club Best Subject: Biology Hobbies: Drawing comics Pet Peeves: Being asked about the future Favorite Food: Cheese Fries Least Favorite Food: Grape Candy Alex seems rather quiet and snooty…but they just have a pretty hard time expressing themselves. They’re actually a bit goofy and can be over-dramatic and hyper. They are really down for whatever which gets them into crazy shenanigans (by themselves or others) but they enjoy the thrills. They have a sincere thirst of knowledge of the world and will take any opportunity to learn more about Twisted Wonderland.

Actually re-working on my Yuusona and giving them a background and such. I decided I wanted to make them hit a bit closer to home for me as a teenager so WHOOP. It was a little hard for me to write but it was really REALLY really healing. All that under the cut.

Before Twisted Wonderland

Alex had been forced into boxes they couldn’t fit in for as long as they remember. Having to grow up quickly in a family that struggled to get by, Alex typically put themselves after everyone else. This led to Alex being quite bendable to people's whims and holy shit did people do so. Friends were always conditional…as long as they agreed with them…everything was good. The moment they formed an opinion outside of the normal…they were looked down on and mocked. Alex held rather low self esteem which lead to anxiety and depression but their family didn’t believe in “that stuff”, so Alex had to find their own way of coping. That was escapism through art and writing. No matter how much bullshit their parents forced upon them or how they were mocked and belittled by friends for being different…they could always escape into the safety of their own world…where they had control. Where they could be themselves and be liked by people who honestly cared for them. After Alex stood up for themselves they were basically shunned and outcast by their friends. This led to them skipping school and spiraling into deeper depression. Their parents were angry about this but refused to acknowledge this as a cry for help from their child. They basically thought Alex didn’t care about their education so why should they? But Alex did care…but just couldn’t muster up the tears or anger to properly show it in a way that was ‘correct’ or ‘believable’. Alex just spent their days keeping house and looking for work while in the nights when everyone was asleep, they would dance around their room playing scenarios of their favorite characters in their head and coming up with writing and comic ideas…the only things that made them feel alive.

Currently

Alex felt like they were having the best coma induced dream of their life. They didn’t know how they got into this coma but they did not CARE. They weren’t at home. They were somewhere new. NO ONE KNEW THEM. It was horrifying as hell but it was the most thrilling feeling in the world to Alex. When Alex got over the shock and realized this couldn’t be a dream because it was way too long and they couldn’t dream up anything as horrifying as experiencing OVERBLOTS…they still seemed to just accept that this is their life. A part of them nags at them every now and then that they are MISSED. They don’t belong here and they have a HOME. But Alex thinks about their previous home and the misery of being a failure and the emptiness it brought to them in comparison to BEING SOMEONE at NRC…to being needed…looked forward to…for being THEMSELVES… They honestly don’t want to go back. They don’t want to face that reality. They feel at home with the wild and zany bunch here at NRC…and actually experiencing even the most smart, strong, wealthy, clever, and beautiful people they have break down so horribly created a new sense of empathy and connection to people that they never knew they could feel. Plus they got a free cat…err dire beast Grim! :3 Alex feels renewed being able to actually be themselves…though they expected to be outcast or made fun of (especially by Ace)…they slowly opened up and became their weird little selves. Ace, Deuce and Grim being their OG Day 1 homies though. Alex opens up to the others entirely after Book 6. That being the point where they realize that despite this being a different world, that death and loss were still absolutely possible and they honestly cherished Grim, Ace, Deuce and all the other students they had trauma bonded with. They still don’t like thinking about going home but comes around to the idea they might have to at some point…but yeah talking about it gets them super moody. They also seem to be good at photography so that’s kinda fun! Oh and a mouse talks to them in the mirror. His name is Mickey. He is a swell guy.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst yuu #twst mc #twst grim #twst disney #twst wonderland #twst yuusona #alexisbayou #yuusona #disney twst

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skepticalarrie · 2 years

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i am quite new to larry. i’m in my twenties but still fully missed the whole one direction phenomenon until two weeks ago when I saw one (1) tiktok of harry performing satellite and it has been all consuming since. what��s so strange to me about the whole experience (and i know this is not unique) is there’s no way i have thought of to talk about it with anyone irl. like how do i convincingly impress upon anyone how sincere i am in saying that these two former members of the 21st century’s most ubiquitous (and straightest™) boyband — including pop culture’s current golden boy — are actually exceedingly queer and closeted and now soul crushingly important to me as a queer person??? it’s just so contrary to the commonly accepted narrative of them, which i know is the whole damn point, but jesus. all i’ve been able to do is say “hey you should do some research about one direction lore, it’s interesting” and hope my friends accidentally fall down the rabbit hole too. tis a wild and wacky time.

This message would never feel as relatable to me as it feels right now. Because you’re right, it’s not a thing you really talk about in real life, it sounds insane.

I want to share something about Harry, specifically. I wasn’t sure if I would want to share that in the first place, but since you just sent this ask I thought it would fit this discussion just right and it literally just happened in my life. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to that. I’ve been a fan for several years now and I always got away just fine with it with people IRL, I don’t really talk much about it. But apparently now everyone in my social circle is completely in love with golden boy Harry Styles, and well… people happened to notice within the last year I’m a big fan. I just went to a bunch of his shows last week and people definitely noticed that even more. I had A LOT of friends coming to me saying all kinds of things, but mostly how hot he is. *Thank god he’s single now* was something I’ve had to sit through a couple of times. And fuck… it was by far the most uncomfortable situation I’ve ever been in all the years of being a fan, it was intense, he truly causes a reaction on people and I wasn’t expecting that. The kind of things some people say about artists just because they’re famous is just… yikes. And I’m talking about friends of mine, good people, treating him like a piece of meat, like he’s not human. People don’t even realise he’s just a normal guy behind all the fame and marketing. And I’m not going to be hypocritical and say I never treated artists like that because I must have at some point, it’s such an easy concept but somehow it’s very hard to realise how human they are unless you *really* look at them and listen to what they’re saying.

Anyway, it was a very devastating situation. I was uncomfortable enough once or twice to tell people to give up thirsting over him because he wouldn’t fuck them anyway, and they should look it up online because he was definitely not straight. I was *angry*, it really got to me. And people actually looked at me like I had completely lost my fucking mind. Like, what do you mean you don’t want to fuck him?? why do you love him so much then?? So it’s what you said, maybe some of them will look up and accept the idea that closeting may be a possibility, and that’s why a lot of queer fans connect with him so much... but who the fuck knows, they probably won’t. But it truly hit me like a ton of bricks how far deep in the closet he is, most people (in my very LGBTQ+ circle) don’t even consider the possibility even though he’s out there waving pride flags every single show and defying gender norms. I’m definitely keeping it more to myself now than I was before.

#sorry i think this was just a confusing rant #ask #harry’s image

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scandalouslamb · 2 months

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For the Send Me a Character meme, Coriolanus Snow please.

Ask Game Thanks, anon! I'm keeping this mostly to Snow in tbosas, because I really need to re-read the OG trilogy. (also I fell asleep writing this last night for me, and my laptop died and I had to start over, so that's why I had to take a break for a bit from answering these)

My first impression

He is the villain. (no judgment) Read this as "he's just a guy filling his role in the narrative" type comment. I was like nine when I first read THG… I wasn't having the deepest thoughts. I did like him as a character though! But there were no deeper thoughts than "he's a good villain!"

My impression now

He's so interesting! Like I don't talk about him that much but I feel like there's so much to talk about! I really love hearing my mutuals talk about him! There's so much there!

Favorite thing about that character

The way that he is shown to be capable of empathy and has every reason to not accept/support the Capitol, but he does! He does! What a tragedy! You could have put the pieces together and realized that this system is broken and will only ever harm you, and he decides to try and control it instead.

Least favorite thing

I think some people on Discord brought it up recently (el, was it el?), but his plastic surgery being kind of used to accentuate his villainy felt like a bad stereotype.

Favorite line/scene

How awful, Coriolanus thought. To have you be the first person in the world a baby sees. (Ch. 16)

Genuinely, so funny, and the rest of that scene… well, it's my favorite interaction.

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Continuing on from the scene above! Just Volumnia sharing her worldview with him! While she's stitching him up! (He's her creature :) ) She also is sharing this "we are all inherently violent" worldview with him right after he killed Bobbin… she's like offering him an emotional out. An kind of escape from guilt (whether she know it or not). Absolution. It's okay/normal you killed someone, Coriolanus! It's human nature <- according to Volumnia's worldview.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

Making eye contact with my url and pfp… Felix… Please, Coriolanus. For me. Prove me right. Prove my weird "I'm who you should be" jealousy (on both sides) correct.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

John Gaius from The Locked Tomb! I've made the comparison before, and I won't get too into it lest I insert more TLT spoilers onto my blog.

A headcanon about that character

He does have a soft spot for the people he grew up with! Especially Clemensia and Festus! I also, however, don't think that it would save them if they become too much of a threat in his eyes, but he'd be more willing to ignore the possibility of them becoming a threat for longer than others.

(i also think that he probably kills a good chunk of his classmates, but not all of them. I think some people died more normal death, maybe a rebel attempt at an attack, maybe other Capitolite's climbing the ladder. I think he kills enough of them that some of the others suspect, and the growing horror of that person who was some sort of friend to you in the past. mwah! that's enough for me!)

A song that reminds of that character

A Mark On You by the Mountain Goats. Guys, you reached the depths of my ability to think up songs. idk if I can articulate why with this one. It's not the style for sure. But the lyrics. There's something there for me.

An unpopular opinion about that character

This isn't really an unpopular opinion, but every time I see one of those posts going around about how you shouldn't thirst over young Snow, I always think "honestly, I'm really shocked that there wasn't this level of thirst for older Snow." But also I like hanging out at the geriatric ward of Panem so maybe I'm biased.

Also again, not really an unpopular opinion where I hang out but maybe out in the world, it is idk. I don't think he's a lady's man or anything like that. I don't think he's like sleeping around even when he gains confidence after becoming financially secure. (but I respect everyone's different interpretations!)

Favorite picture

I mean... of course, it's from one of my favorite scenes!

But also I love Snow laughing at his execution <3

#i should gif snow laughing... i thought i had but apparently not #abyssal stuff #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #ask game #anon ask #tbosas #ask response

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lemonadedino · 5 months

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74, 77 for prompts ask! huddling for warmth, and in vino veritas -- wiz

i'm so sorry that this took soo long wiz!! life started kicking my butt and my thoughts wouldn't settle

made this one lestappen for funsies

charles is the owner of an ice cream shop that specializes in making really elaborate ice cream confections. his store lowkey went viral on tiktok because their creations are super impressive looking, but mostly everyone in the comments was thirsting over charles when he appeared in the video to explain how they flavor the ice cream. obviously, his social media guy lando is absolutely thrilled with the heightened engagement.

one day after work, charles brings his puppy leo to the vet. they've been going to dr. vettel for forever and they both adore him. so imagine charles' shock when he checks in the with receptionist, an australian with remarkably swoopy hair who seems to have replaced the middle-aged woman with a perpetually pinched face that charles remembers form his previous visits, and is informed that dr. vettel has retired, moved to the alps to save the bees, and has left his personal phone number to charles in case he ever needs something.

after processing some emotions, charles finally asks the gold ticket question.

"who is leo seeing today, then?"

and then a blond man dressed in navy blue scrubs steps out from behind the door separating the rest of the clinic from the lobby. he doesn't seem to notice charles. charles doesn't mind because he's too busy ogling this gorgeous man who's exactly his type. he's always been a sucker for blue eyes, sue him.

"oscar, do you know if the 6'oclock appointment is coming in? they're already 15 minutes late, and the sooner i can get back to jimmy and sassy the better."

"charles, meet dr. max verstappen. he's taking over the clinic now that dr. vettel has retired," oscar says.

and boom introductions are made. they have a perfectly lovely vet appointment, where charles accidently said that leo is 4 years old instead of 8 months because the way max's mouth moved was just sooo mesmerizing wdym i actually have to have a functioning brain??

the next day, max shows up at the ice cream shop, presumably on his day off. charles is like "omg is he here to see me... but i don't want to read too much into it, yk?"

while paying for his scoop of vanilla ice cream on a waffle cone, max admits that he had no idea that charles owned the place. apparently, oscar had casually suggested the ice cream parlor as the best place in town for dessert. lando, who had been puttering around somewhere next to charles, trying to act like he wasn't listening in on their conversation, knocked over a rack of scrapers as soon at the mention of oscar's name. weird, right? crazyyyy

some time passes. max and charles become closer. leo is suddenly having a lot more vet visits than normal, even though he’s in perfect health so that charles has an excuse to see max. he’s aware that it’s getting borderline pathetic, and he’s pretty sure that oscar agrees, since the aussie has memorized his number due to how frequently charles calls to schedule appointments.

they're mutually pining but the feelings are kept under lock and key because i-dont-want-to-damage-our-friendship-what-if-he-doesn’t-like-me-back-am-I-allowed-to-date-my-dog’s-vet-blahblahblah.

charles’ shop gets nominated for a prestigious award, created to highlight innovators in the gastronomic world internationally. to celebrate, his best friend, pierre, throws him a surprise party at the ice cream store after hours. all of their friends are invited, as well as seb. having listened to charles mope about the hot vet countless times, he pops by the veterinarian office and invites max, telling him to bring a friend if he’d like so that he’s more comfortable.

and that’s how max ends up at charles’ surprise party, cradling a bottle of what he hopes is acceptable wine, oscar in tow.

upon seeing max, charles has a brief moment of “i am actually going to to murder pierre omg how am I supposed to handle being with him outside of a work context without combusting” before realizing “OMG I GET TO BE NEAR MY CRUSH!!!!”

charles notices that oscar and lando seem super awkward and stiff around each other but doesn’t know why and chooses not to press it (so actually landoscar had a one night stand that lando fled at 5AM because commitment is scary and he’s worried because he likes this guy way more than he should for someone he’s met less than 12 hours ago. better leave before it get too real)

The night progresses, more wine is poured and toasts are made. Basically everyone is tipsy by the time the party winds down and people start to trickle out.

max is the last guest to leave, constantly finding himself caught in conversation with charles again and again. just as he steps out the door, charles grabs his arm.

“wait hold on, do you want to try next week’s special edition flavor? you’re special, so you can taste test before the official public release.” charles says and then proceeds to wink horrifically. max agrees and the two of them make their way to the walk in freezer in the back where charles stores flavors to restock.

the door closes behind them and they realize a little too late that charles forgot to unlock the door from the inside so they’re now trapped.

cue immense panic from both of them. thankfully, charles has his phone on him and calls lando, to whom he had given a spare pair of keys to let them out. in the meantime, they ultimately end up cuddling for warmth in an effort to not freeze before lando could get to them.

wrapped up in max’s embrace and lulled by the wine on his tongue, charles confesses to max. mutually reciprocated declarations of love ensue and just and they’re about to kiss, a lock clicks and lando opens the door.

laying in his bed that night, max asleep next to him, charles realizes that the bruises on lando’s throat definitely wasn’t because of the shop’s weird lighting casting shadows. they were most definitely hickeys and charles remembers lando slipping out of the party at much the same time as a certain receptionist.

#formula 1 rpf #landoscar

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beevean · 5 months

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For the bingo

Well-written characters: Sonic, Eggman, Trevor, Hector, Rosaly, Dracula

Shit characters: Lenore and essentially the entire main cast of That Very Particular Game

bro.

Sonic here :P

Eggman:

Proof that evil bastards without a single redeeming quality in their bones can still be compelling, fleshed out characters.

my good man is a jolly fellow with a passion for amusement parks and for defacing ancient ruins because his face deserves to be plastered through history. an icon <3 he's perfect <3 well, except for how in many games he was pushed to the side with disappointing results. but it's okay. it's not his fault <3 he did nothing wrong <3

Trevor:

Trevor my good friend Trevor he's the Sonic of Castlevania and that makes him an instant 10/10 🥰

Love how he's both shaped like a friend, happy to accept all sorts of people as his companions, and also a terrifying menace that will kill you first and ask questions second. I think this post encapsulates why he's so good <3

I am a bit salty that he was wasted in CoD, though. Granted, he gave us some intense sessions of raw gay sex with Hector and Isaac, but you know, he could have done more.

Hector:

i like him a normal amount and i am very normal about him and i totally don't project onto his status as unwilling golden child pushed to become something he isn't until he has the strength to free himself to face a world that hates him because freedom is more dignified than being sheltered.

Rosaly:

the girl of all time 🥺 she's so 🥺 and so 🥰 and also so 💖 and even ✨

god the way CoD treated her is criminal. I'm so glad Kojima and Sasakura gave her more love and turned her into such a cute and interesting character, even if she is fairly simple and straightfoward - she is not simply the kind caretaker to Hector's brooding boy, she is too kind to the point that it's treated like a flaw. but she don't care. she's stubborn and idealistic and exactly what makes her so good for hector "if you take a snake in you'll get bitten" castlevania.

She will love you to death. You have no choice in the matter. Haha get absolutely cherished idiot <3

Dracula:

he's so stupid and petty and a selfish asshole bastard and maybe a bit of a perv and he should suffer more for my entertainment

i love him <3

I like that, compared to Eggman, he does have potentially redeeming qualities: he loves. He loves too much, even. And that is precisely what makes him such a piece of shit :)

anyway he did everything wrong. that is the point.

Lenore:

"Deserved a happier ending"? Sure. Hector should have set her on fire. That would have made me happy <3

I hate her so much. I hate that I can see the glimpses of a good villain buried underneath the revolting rape apology. I wish I could steal Hector's hammer, beat her until she's nothing but mush, and then recompose her to turn her into a well written character, and not four bad characters stitched together.

But also, Lenore has no reason to exist. The story could have progressed just fine if it was Carmilla trying to break Hector's spirit - and maybe show that he's stronger than she had thought. Lenore was only introduced for the sake of pushing S3's shitty r/im14andthisisdeep "trust is for dumbasses, and dumbasses deserve to be punished" message. She singlehandedly ruined Hector's character beyond redemption, and she herself was written by Ellis with a hand down his pants, which means that in S3 she's basically a walking kink and by S4 it's too late to woobiefy her. I need to rescue her concept (a vampire torn between her desire to pretend to be human and the thirst for power over people that comes with her nature) so badly because it's worth exploring, but the show only makes me want to turn myself into the sun and burn for eternity.

OMORI cast:

#dr. eggman #trevor belmont #hector castlevania #rosaly castlevania #dracula castlevania #very tempted to tag her :)#anti netflixvania

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captainswanapproved · 2 years

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An Indecent Proposal Chapter 15

A03,Prologue, Chapter 1,Chapter 2,Chapter 3, Chapter 4,Chapter 5,Chapter 6,Interlude,Chapter 7,Chapter 8,Chapter 9,Chapter 10,Chapter 11,Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14

Daemon x Rhaenyra Multichapter AU:

Daemon leaves Rhaenyra at her wedding feast. Rhaenyra marries Laenor. After a year of trying to do their duty and produce an heir, Rhaenyra writes to Daemon.

She needs a true Targaryen heir.

It only needs to be an arrangement of business, she says. And it would result in Daemon’s child one day taking the Iron Throne.

Daemon accepts the proposal and returns to court.

Only, ventures like these are never simple. As much as they would wish to, Daemon and Rhaenyra cannot let go of the past, or the feelings they once had for each other.

121 AC

When challenged, a man of honor must rise to the occasion. Ser Qarl Correy is a fine swordsman, and should I be felled by his sword, I shall leave my last requests in writing.

In the case that their own eggs do not hatch, it is my hope that either my son or one of my nieces one day claims Seasmoke. He is dearly fond of fish and I daresay that bringing him a half a dozen fish each day will endear him to any capable dragon rider.

It is my wish that my son, Lucerys Velaryon be named the heir to Driftmark. My lady mother, I know, is of the same mind in this regard.

And finally, it is my dearest wish that my beloved wife, Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen, is safe and well taken care of. I can think of no man more suited to this task than Prince Daemon Targaryen. His loyalty is unmatched. He would proudly take a sword for Rhaenyra. Furthermore, I know he will care for our children as though they are his own.

I sincerely hope this final will shall not have to be carried out. But loathe as I am to admit it, Ser Qarl might be the better swordsman.

Ser Laenor Velaryon

Viserys read the letter for the dozenth time. It had been three days since Laenor’s funeral. It had been a dreadfully somber occasion. Rhaenyra and her children had been utterly distraught. And Daemon, Viserys had to admit, had stood by Rhaenyra’s side for the entire affair, fetching her wine and entertaining her children.

He truly had changed for the better.

Viserys remembered all too well that Daemon had chosen to celebrate with whores and lickspittles over mourning with Rhaenyra after Aemma’s passing.

Viserys wondered if Daemon or Rhaenyra had any inkling of Laenor’s final request. He would speak with them separately. If they were both amenable to the match, then they would be wed after the end of Rhaenyra’s mourning period.

With that aim in mind, he summoned Daemon to his chambers.

Daemon looked almost nervous as he entered. It was wholly unlike the normally brash and confident man.

“Thank you for coming so quickly,” Viserys said, motioning for his cupbearer to pour them both some wine.

“How may I be of service, Your Grace?”

“Do you know anything of Ser Laenor’s final requests?”

Daemon sat across from him and drank deeply from his cup. Viserys wondered if it was thirst or merely a stall tactic.

“I cannot say I do. Ser Laenor and I were friends as well as kin, but I cannot claim to know his every thought.”

Viserys read aloud the section about Rhaenyra and Daemon and watched as his brother’s face transformed from a look of reticence to a look of awe.

“It is a high compliment,” Daemon said.

“You have proven your loyalty to Rhaenyra, and I have never doubted your love for her,” Viserys said.

Surprisingly enough, Daemon snorted and raised a brow. “Never?”

Viserys looked abashed. They had not spoken of the incident in the throne room since it happened. “Well, the affair in the brothel gave me pause. But truth be told, I believed you were genuine when you asked for Rhaenyra’s hand. But your genuine entreaty made me more determined to keep you apart. I cannot regret my five grandchildren by Ser Laenor, but I realize I caused both you and Rhaenyra a significant amount of pain when I denied your request all those years ago. Do you still wish to take Rhaenyra to wife?”

For a moment, Daemon said nothing. But then, Viserys watched his brother’s face change again. Gone was the arrogant, princely mien, and in its place was an expression Viserys hadn’t seen since their boyhood. A lovestruck expression.

“Even after all these years?” Viserys asked.

Daemon swallowed hard. “More than ever.”

“You will have to wait the full year,” Viserys warned.

“Naturally. Ser Laenor was a good man. I have no wish to dishonor him.”

“If Rhaenyra agrees, you may consider yourselves formally betrothed,” Viserys said. Then he embraced his brother. Even more remarkable, Daemon did not pull away as he had so many times since Viserys climbed the steps to the throne.

***

That same day, Rhaenyra made her way to her father’s chambers.

She was dressed all in black, as was proper and expected. And she found that she did miss Laenor, but she knew that he was out there somewhere living the life he deserved, free from the ugly game she was meant to play and all its many consequences. She could not mourn his absence, for it meant that there was a chance for her and Daemon to truly be together as man and wife.

Her father only had to sanction the match.

Rhaenyra hoped her father would not be stubborn about the matter, not when he had already done so much to deprive them of happiness.

Viserys smiled as she entered. He kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand. “How are you faring, my little dragon?”

Rhaenyra was surprised. Her father had not called her that since she was twelve. After Daemon had claimed the pet name, it seemed wrong for her father to call her that.

“I am as well as can be expected. I am more concerned for the children. They are too young to understand that their father will never come home.”

“I will send a septa to explain it to them,” Viserys said. “That should not be your burden.”

“Thank you, Father. Is that the only reason you called me here? To see after my well-being?”

“Actually, no. Your husband left an unexpected request. He wants you and your children to be well taken care of. He wishes for you to wed Daemon, citing his unwavering loyalty and love. Here, read the words yourself.”

Rhaenyra felt tears gather in the corners of her eyes. It was true that this had been the plan, but she had not expected to read such earnest, heartfelt words from Laenor.

“And what do you think of this request?” Rhaenyra asked.

“I am more concerned with your opinion on the matter. I once forced you to wed against your will. I will not do so again. I have already spoken to Daemon and he is agreeable to the match, but the decision is yours.”

And Rhaenyra, despite her best intentions, began to cry in earnest. Though they were tears of joy. “I love him, Father. I do not believe I ever stopped.”

Viserys looked at her with wide eyes, and then she found herself crushed in her father’s arms. “Oh, my little dragon, I am so sorry. I had no idea. I have been so blind.”

It took a while for the tears to stop, but when they did, Rhaenyra asked, “You will truly allow us to wed?”

Viserys kissed her forehead. “I will. You have my blessing. As soon as your period of mourning is finished, we will have a grand wedding feast and tourney to celebrate your nuptials.”

***

Viserys was surprised when he received another caller in his chambers.

Alicent entered, a silk robe tied around her slim body. “My queen, you look well.”

“I have missed you. You have been mourning,” Alicent said.

“I have been contemplating Ser Laenor’s request. It seems that my good-son had a better understanding of my daughter and brother than I ever did.”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Viserys had not confided in his wife, knowing her distaste for Daemon. But she would know soon enough, and it was better for her to hear it from him. “Ser Laenor expressed his hope that Daemon and Rhaenyra be wed if he met his demise. I have decided to bless the match.”

Alicent’s expression hardened. “You cannot do that, Your Grace. Daemon should not be anywhere near the Iron Throne.”

“Those are your father’s words,” Viserys said, very much disappointed.

“That does not make them any less true,” Alicent said. “Daemon will ruin your daughter. He will make her life utterly miserably. And what of her children, and our children? Daemon will want his own son sitting on the throne.”

“You are wrong about him, Alicent,” Viserys said. “He is a changed man, and he would never harm any of the children. The will be wed next year, and I have no wish to hear any argument from you.”

Alicent looked as though she would like to argue, but instead, she removed her robe, revealing a sheer shift. “If that is all you have to say on the matter, Your Grace, then we should change subjects. I have missed your touch.”

Viserys Targaryen was not immune to the charms of his beautiful young wife. He allowed her to lead him to bed and enjoyed himself immensely. Afterwards she gave him wine and a kiss before departing.

The wine was sweeter than her lips and he sank into a dreamless oblivion, sated and happy.

***

Daemon entered Rhaenyra’s chambers to find her already undressed. Her beautiful silver-gold hair cascaded down her back. She was a goddess, and in a year’s time, she would be his at last.

She smiled when their eyes met. “Ah, I have been waiting for you. Isn’t there something you wish to ask me?”

Daemon’s eyes gleamed. “I was under the impression that the matter was already settled, my love. After all, we already have five children.”

“True, but a lady likes to be asked. She likes to be wooed.”

“So this is about gifts? Does my spoiled princess wants a trinket of my affections?”

“You brought me a tiara when you had no hope of marrying me. Is it so unreasonable that I now expect something more extravagant?”

All of this was spoken in jest, but Daemon couldn’t resist taking her in his arms and silencing her with kisses.

It was only when she was moaning beneath him that he pulled away.

She pouted, and the expression was so fractiously adorable that it sent him back to the day he’d first decided that she was a true dragon. She had scolded the household guard for denying her access to Syrax and she had threatened to feed them all to her dragon.

“As it happens, I do have something for you.”

From his pocket, he removed a Valyrian steel chain decorated with rubies, diamonds, and dragon glass. Rhaenyra’s eyes widened when she saw it. “It is gorgeous.”

Daemon smiled, gratified by her reaction. “It pales in comparison to you, Princess. Now I will only put this on if you agree to take everything else off.”

“We have an accord,” Rhaenyra said, and she removed her robe and shift and chemise, throwing them into a pile near the roaring fire. She swept her curtain of hair aside and he clasped the necklace around her lovely throat, kissing the hollow there.

"Beautiful,” he said in High Valyrian.

Rhaenyra threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately.

When they were forced to break the kiss for need of air, he said, “I take this to mean that you will marry me?”

“Yes. In the tradition of our house.”

Daemon drew her back into his arms. “Then we should celebrate our betrothal.”

“We should,” Rhaenyra agreed, “But as we will have to wait the full year, I cannot become pregnant. Nor would I wish to employ the use of moon tea. I do not need to give the Greens any fodder for scandal.”

Daemon grinned roguishly. “Oh, my love, I am a master at fucking for pleasure without the curse of pregnancy.”

Rhaenyra kissed him. “Show me,” she commanded in Valyrian.

***

Alicent sent Criston away when he came to her, having little taste for her touch. As devoted as Criston Cole was to her, she was beginning to see why Rhaenyra had only been with him once.

Not that Viserys was much better, but Alicent knew now that it had been foolish to have a bastard, given all the trouble she was having to endure to keep his bastardy a secret. She would do her best to have more children by Viserys, and she would keep Criston loyal to her through manipulation. It was high time that she learned how to play the game so that she could one day punish all her enemies.

It infuriated her that Rhaenyra seemed to have no regrets about her proclivities and indiscretions, having delivered five bastards in nearly as many years.

And the next one would be true born now that Viserys had agreed to sanction their match.

Rhaenyra truly was a spoiled cunt who would never have to suffer the consequences of her actions while Viserys still lived.

But Viserys would not live forever, and when he finally died, the Greens would be ready to cut down the whore and her whoreson consort.

***

Rhaenyra and Laena were in the Godswood with their children one beautiful day near the end of 121 AC. Rhaenyra was still wearing her mourning garb, while Laena had taken to mixing the colors of House Strong and House Velaryon.

The unhatched dragon eggs belonging to Joffrey, Baela, and Rhaena sat in the warmers in the castle.

Alyssa and Jace played knight and maiden as Luke and Visenya toddled after them pretending to be dragons.

Laena held little Baela, and Rhaenyra held Joffrey. Rhaena was being tended to by one of the Arryn girls Rhaenyra had brought to court to honor her mother’s family.

Suddenly, Joffrey opened his eyes and began to cry, while Rhaena did the same. Baela continued on sleeping peacefully. Neither of the crying babes could be soothed. And the meaning became quite clear when a servant appeared in the Godswood.

“Princess, My Lady,” the girl panted.

“What is the matter?” Rhaenyra asked kindly.

“Lady Baela’s dragon egg has hatched.”

“That is wonderful news,” Rhaenyra said, offering her friend congratulations.

“There is more, Princess. I am sorry to say that Lady Rhaena’s and Prince Joffrey’s eggs have turned to stone.”

#daemon x rhaenyra #daemyra #hotd #hotd fanfic #hotd an indecent proposal #my writing

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wolfsbanemanor · 1 month

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[ 🏉 ] would you say they live up to their potential? are they trying to, or could they care less? When they were young, their father put a lot of pressure on them to do well in school. Especially Caleb, because Edward wanted Caleb to follow him into medicine someday. Edward wanted his family's Thing to be medicine, for generations to come. Lilith didn't want to be a doctor, she wanted to become a pro-athlete who was also a painter like her mother, and also to have at least 5 kids. She didn't care about getting straight A's, but she did want to become famous. The school psychologist called Caleb and Lilith "gifted," and said they had a lot of potential. It was important, she said, for Edward and Artesia to nurture that potential any way they could. If they did, there was no telling what Caleb and Lilith could achieve later on down the line. They were also under pressure from their father, and from his religious group, to be the best Watcherians they could be. To be "in the world, but not of the world." To honor the Watcher by memorizing their sacred tome, giving as much free time as they could to activities at their church/temple/whatever, making things, and staying on the straight and narrow. Edward would warn them a lot about things that angered the Watcher; he didn't want them to drown in a pool like his own father did. (I don't know whether Edward had been raised in the faith, or whether he became part of it later in life, but either way, that was a turning point that caused him to "lean in" to the idea of a Watcher that needed to be appeased, lest they meet the same fate.) He would drill them on passages from their Scripture, and lead them in prayer at dinner. He signed them up for youth group, and made sure the family attended worship service, always sitting in the front row, alongside the pastor's family. He was good friends with the pastor, and invited him and his wife over for dinner a lot. (Caleb noted that the pastor's wife never really seemed like she was happy.) In youth group, they were pressured to accept everything they were taught, without asking too many questions, and to live their life in the way they were taught was pleasing to the Watcher. When a girl in their class turned into a mermaid on a trip to Sulani, because she ate some strange kelp she found in a cave and then went swimming, they were pressured to stop talking to her. They were pressured to save woohoo for (heterosexual, monogamous) marriage, and not even think about woohoo until then. They were pressured to make a public declaration of faith, after walking through fire. If they did this, they were told, the Watcher would be happy, and would rain countless blessings down on them and their family. When they became vampires, Vlad went on and on about how they had the potential to be his successors. If only they'd follow his teachings. Lilith soaked it in, eagerly. She wanted to be stronger, and to live the glamorous vampire life she'd read about even though her father told her not to. For his part, Caleb tried to make it work following Vlad's teachings, just as he'd tried to make it work as a Worshipper of the Watcher. But there were things he was expected to do that he didn't want to, like biting other Sims whether they liked it or not. He also trained up his sun immunity, because he missed walking around in daylight (and also being a creature of the night made living a "normal" life a lot harder.) He was at odds with Vlad a lot. Vlad heaped praise on him when he turned Inna Cents (he'd lost control of his Thirst, and turning her was the only way to kinda sorta save her), but he didn't feel like he deserved it, at all. He knew he had the potential to be like Vlad, and worse, Miss Hell, and that troubled him greatly. Every time he bit someone, he'd picture Inna Cents nearly dying in his arms, or Miss Hell laughing as she walked out of that bathroom, leaving him bleeding out on cold, dirty tile to be found by a mixologist after closing. He couldn't keep (un)living like this.

#caleb vatore #lilith vatore #ts4 vampires #headcanons #inna cents #vladislaus straud #miss hell #sims lore

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dzpenumbra · 2 years

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10/22/22

Today was a bit of a miss. I played games for most of the day. I don't like that feeling, just sitting around and playing single-player games all day when the only thing I want is to be around friends. It's getting really sad. Like... I'm still paying for the Minecraft server. I haven't even streamed in... I don't even know how long. I just have it in the back of my head, "just keep it up, just in case... someone wants to play." And I guess that someone in my head is my brother.

Despite the fact that he has never shown an interest in playing. Despite the fact that he won't even speak to me... again... and hasn't in about 2 weeks. Time flies. Why? All because I asked him to come over and make art and listen to music with me, to distract me while my landlords inspected the house. And he said a firm "no" because he "cannot emotionally support me".

I genuinely don't know how to react to this. I have written pages to him at this point, it makes no difference. This feeling of helplessness, false accusation, punishment, being shut out. It's fucking brutal. It's like... the exact opposite of me. I'm always reaching out and apologizing and trying to make amends and going the extra mile. I mean... a bit less lately since so many people took advantage of that, but it's really been my M.O. and I did pride myself in that for a long time. Having the exact opposite be put on me is just... it's like kicking me in the nuts emotionally, honestly.

Like... I don't know how this kind of behavior has gotten normalized in my life. I have had people near me, that called themselves friends, that I called friends... lecture me about cleaning my room like they were my parent, tell me I can't call them when they're at their girlfriend's house. You know, I'm just cutting myself off here, I really don't want to relive all of this tonight. Honestly. I've been just coming out of a dark place, so I really just don't want to slip right back into another one. Needless to say, it's... probably because I just let them do it, and I don't speak up, and when I do they don't take me seriously (or treat me like a screaming lunatic). So... why am I spending time with these people? Why don't I just... walk away?

I really... don't know what draws me back. I don't know why I have so much trouble walking away from people, any people. And I also have trouble reaching out to new people too. There has to be a connection there.

Come to think of it, I'm actually pretty bad at reconnecting with old friends too. I guess it's breaking the ice that I'm no good at? I practiced reaching out to old friends a few years ago, it was very counter-intuitive and honestly yielded very little response. I don't know, my head is kinda swimming right now.

I just... cling to people, I guess. And try to see the best in them. Accept everyone as a work in progress and try to work with them to help them heal, help them become better people. It's very encoded into my personality. I think because of that, because I accept people for who they are and try to see the best - and because I have really low self-esteem and don't stand up for myself or walk away from shitty scenarios - I end up around a lot of people who sorta just take advantage of that. Maybe I'm even a magnet for those kinds of people. I don't know.

It's just been on my mind, as I thirst for social contact and think... okay... well I'm aware of this pattern now... and I really want to be deliberate as I start making new friendships, meeting new people. I want to be vigilant and know when I need to walk away. And I need to be confident in my ability to find new people too. Both right now, and if something comes up and I'm suddenly facing isolation again.

That's a big one, I guess. I get in that place where I'm like... well, I'd rather be around someone who just talks about their self all the time and treats me like garbage than be... alone. Even though... if I'm just kind of a tool for their ego to feed... I'm basically alone in that moment anyway.

So yeah, maybe it's a PTSD thing? Maybe it's not just as simple as one moving part? But it's definitely something I need to work on. And I'm pretty excited about trying to find a PTSD specialist soon. I think I'll try tomorrow, I forgot today.

In the case of my brother, really all I want is a phone conversation. To clear up that I was very clearly not asking for emotional support. And if he has a problem with being emotionally supportive, he really should take the time to have a conversation and explain what he struggles to do and how it affects him. Then we can strategize a bit and discuss. But to just have a demand put on you - "you do not get emotional support" - and to declare that as a boundary? I mean. Like... isn't that setting a boundary... for me? Not like... "I struggle with emotional support, so we may need to discuss alternatives. It's not that I don't care, it's just difficult for me." It's "you do not get this from me." I have seriously never seen this before, even in fiction. It's really hard to react to something so alien.

I was going to send a message asking for a phone call today, but saw him on Discord playing games with his friends that I have literally never met, he has never introduced me to, and he plays games with every weekend, it seems. I didn't want to disturb. Honestly, more because I didn't want my head ripped off for it. Sending a DM to someone on Discord is not an aggressive move, I really don't want to buy into that narrative that me messaging him is a bad or hostile thing. I don't want to have him snap back or make excuses. That's the abnormal thing. What I'm doing is trying to express caring and extend a diplomatic olive branch. Look at how conditioned my thinking is here, good lord. I'm just like trying to talk sense into this weird Pavlovian training that if I try to open up diplomatic channels, that person will scream at me and fight me. Because I have had several people do this, consistently, for years. And it just sorta... became a reflex, I guess.

So I hope I find someone really nice soon that can put up with my weirdness and fear, and can be the voice who goes -

"What?! You're not an asshole for reaching out because you only have 3 more weekends in the same area code as him, and you want to make the best of it instead of sitting 5 minutes apart all day every day and just not fucking talking. That's not you being an asshole! You're being the brave one! You're breaking the ice for him. If he isn't grateful for that, he's goddamn lost and he's choosing to find his own way back."

It's hard to be your own cheerleader, when 9/10ths of the time that other voice, the supportive voice, the one above, is stifled under layers of insecurities, fears, ghostly voices of lost loved ones, memory flashes. It just gets lost in the noise. It really takes a lot of practice to find that voice in the heat of the moment. It kinda feels like trying to navigate your room at night in the pitch dark. Like you know the layout pretty well, but if you bump into something, that thought is in charge now. Naw, that analogy isn't specific enough. I mean... like finding a lightswitch in a pitch dark room, when you're on the other side of it. Like... you can find it eventually. And with enough practice, I'd like to think it can be pretty automatic. I've gotten pretty damn good at navigating cluttered dark rooms, kiiiinda why I'm using the analogy... With enough practice and deliberate visualization, it gets a lot easier. So, in theory, it should be a similar kind of practice for navigating an emotional reaction to a social situation. Practice, practice, practice.

So here's the real trick. Ready for it? How do you practice social stuff - you know, so you can be safe around and have healthy relationships with good people - when you have no one in your life to practice social stuff with? Hmm... Been trying to figure that one out for like 2 years now, almost 3.

I'm exhausted, honestly. So let's wrap this up on a good note, because this has been a big bummer. I got a big section of my hoodie done today and I'm cool calling the mandala done for now. I put a picture on here. I'm happy with it. Now I'm on to either a new piece on a different piece of clothing... or a new section of the same hoodie. Maybe like an upper-back piece above the mandala... but that would get covered by the hood... I was thinking maybe wrist pieces, or a piece along the rim of the hood. I don't know. I really want to keep the... tattoos on clothing... kinda look to it. Black and gray, subtle but detailed. Maybe I'll keep it all themed geometric for this one? Meh. Fuck rules, this is my hoodie, I'll just wing it. I do have the colored inks to try out, so I'll see if I have something to test them on, I don't think they're gonna work well on black cloth... and I have... basically all dark colored clothes so that's a bit tricky... but yeah, nature of the beast. Maybe I'll do socks or something, that could be interesting.

#diary #journal #stream of conscious writing #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #online journal

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mimzy-writing-online · 3 years

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You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

#blindness #whumptober #fanfiction #whump #whumptober 2021 #blind character #disability #ableism #anon

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jjamjamm · 2 years

Text

Confessions

Masterlist

Wordcount: 1995

Summary: "Fili w/ quotes: 30. “It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.” - H.G. Wells, The Time Machine 39. “After all, tomorrow is another day!” - Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind 49. “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Feat. Miscommunication, confessions, nearly missed chances (and more than a little bit of wine)" I want to say this was from a Fizzy writing event.

The mountain was filled with roaring laughter, off-tune song, and slurred story telling as the night wore on. To celebrate the new treaty between the elves and the dwarves, Thranduil had sent enough wine to quench the thirst of the entire mountain, for quite some time. Or, so he had thought. What he had anticipated to last a good few months, would surely be gone before the week was up. At least, with the way everyone was putting it back.

You had hardly anticipated the wine to be so potent, and at the end of the night, though you felt alright sitting, you were a bit wobbly on your feet.

You braced yourself against the bar for a moment, trying to get your bearings, before one of your close friends approached you.

“Need a hand?” He offered, the wine had had a gentler affect on him, with his higher tolerance- dwarrow were far more impressive in regards to what they could stomach, and Fili was no exception.

After a moment, you accepted his help, and he told the others he’d be bringing you back to your room.

“Good on you lad,” Bofur slurred, well further into the stash than some of the others, “‘s about time you two got together.”

He got elbowed in the ribs to quiet him down, and your escort shook his head before bringing you to the hall.

You noticed he was a bit unsteady on his feet as well, but what amazed you the most was how level headed you still felt. Normally, you hadn’t the ability to keep your mouth shut, but tonight, you were doing marvelously.

You might have been a bit overconfident in your ability to keep your thoughts to yourself, as you let your mind wander to the blond beside you. He really was handsome, you had noticed that straightaway- but why did he look so amused?

“A couple glasses of wine really loosens that tongue of yours, eh?” He asked, teasing you just a bit, “Can’t say I’m not flattered.”

“You heard that?” You asked, realizing you may not have kept your thoughts completely to yourself after all. Oh boy.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” He beamed as he assured you, “In fact, you can continue, if you’d like. I certainly don’t mind hearing it.”

You shook your head, trying to maintain some level of reason, “If I start talking, I’ll start telling you things you don’t need to know.”

“You can tell me things.” He promised, keeping an eye on you as the two of you started up the stairs, “Here, watch your step now.”

“Oh no you don’t.” You told him, focusing on the stairs, “You just want to see me make an ass of myself.”

He laughed at that, though assured you it wasn’t true, “I’ve just missed you, there’s been so much to get done.”

Your heart fluttered at his confession, “I’ve missed you too.”

By then, you had reached the top of the staircase, and continued along, in silence for a moment.

“You know, railings might be a good investment.” You pointed out, “Tell your uncle that could be his next big project.”

“I will.” He said, before switching the topic, “How have you been? I don’t think I’ve seen you for… What? Nearly two weeks now?”

“Twelve days.” You corrected, having made note of the time. You had stayed in the mountain for a chance to get even closer with him, but now you hardly ever saw him.

“What was that?” He asked, and you realized you must have said more aloud than you had intended.

“Twelve days.” You repeated, feeling your face heat up, and hoping you could blame it on the drink.

“It felt like longer.” He admitted. Had you been more levelheaded, you would’ve made note of his tone- he must’ve heard your earlier comment, but you didn’t pick up on it in your current state.

When you made it back to your room, you almost wished the walk was longer. Soon enough he’d be gone for another two weeks, leaving you to reconsider your choice to stay.

He brought you inside, and you took a seat on the edge of your bed, before looking up at him. What you would do for a chance to let him know how you felt. Now was hardly the right time, you’d be so much less eloquent than you wanted to be. You didn’t want him thinking the wine was the reason you cared so much for him.

He smiled your way, and took your coat, hanging it over the edge of the bed as you kicked your shoes off.

“I’ve really missed you Y/N.” He repeated, brushing your hair behind your ear. You had missed the significance of the action in your current state, and didn’t realize that you had rested your cheek against his hand, before he removed it and sat beside you.

You had fallen head over heels for Fili, and now he was being so considerate and helpful, it really wasn’t helping your case. If you were courting, or even married, then you could’ve leaned over and kissed the living daylights out of him. He was sitting within reach after all…

“We should get married.” You recognized your voice, but wondered where the hell that had come from. Who had authorized you to say such a bold thing, and to a prince of all people? Thanks to the wine, you thought little of it, and just waited for a reaction from him.

He rested his hand on yours for a moment, before patting it gently. He was avoiding your gaze, and you couldn’t quite read his expression, “You don’t really mean that. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I do.” You swore, “I should’ve told you a long time ago, but I never had the guts.”

He locked eyes with you for a moment, looking hopeful that there was a chance for you both. Instead, he just shook his head, moving to busy himself by turning down the sheets for you, “It seems plausible tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.”

You felt a surge of hope when he had begun, but realized quickly that he was turning you down.

“After all, tomorrow’s another day.” He said, forcing a smile as he looked your way, “Come on now, get some rest.”

Oh, couldn’t help but feel that you had undoubtedly made a terrible fool of yourself, “Fili, I-”

He silenced you as he kissed the top of your head, “When the wine has run its course, we’ll talk again.”

You felt completely and utterly rejected as he left. You climbed into bed, and tried not to feel devastated, but the one who you cared the most for had just declined your affections. All you could hope for, was that you wouldn’t remember come morning.

Fili never returned to the others, instead going off to his own room as well. He was kicking himself for how he handled the situation, he had wanted to let you know how much he cared for you for some time now, but you had built up the courage before him. The worst part was, he hadn’t known how to react to it, and made a mess out of what should’ve been a wonderful night.

He tried to fall asleep, but kept revisiting the conversation, and how your face had fallen when he tried to talk some sense into you. He should’ve handled it better.

After a particularly restless night for the two of you, the wine had left you with a pounding headache. It took most of the morning to clear out, and partway into the afternoon you were finally able to leave your room and get some food.

As you made your way through the halls, you recalled the night before, and suddenly found yourself without an appetite.

“Y/N.” Kili called, catching your attention. His demeanor changed when he saw your expression, “What happened? You looked so happy last night.”

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” You told him. Now that you knew Fili didn’t feel the same, you had no reason to stay in Erebor, you had to go start packing. Though, if Kili was already here, you may as well say your goodbyes, “I’m going to miss you.”

He rose an eyebrow, and as you pulled him into a hug, he patted your back a couple of times, “Why? Are you going somewhere?”

“I’ll probably go to Dale first, figure the rest out from there.” You admitted, pulling back from him, “Maybe I’ll go visit Bilbo.”

“Bilbo? What did Fili do last night?” Kili asked, sounding genuinely worried, “He said something stupid didn’t he?”

“No, Kili, we just want different things.” You said, before admitting, “He doesn’t care for me the same way I do for him.”

Kili was at a loss for words, his brother had droned on and on about his feelings towards you, how he could’ve messed it all up in one night was beyond comprehension.

He tried to convince you to stay, but you wouldn’t listen, and went back to your room. Kili, on the other hand, broke into a sprint to try and catch his brother.

When you were back in your room, you realized you didn’t need very long at all to pack, and decided to wash up first. After you scrubbed yourself clean of any nonsense, you dressed and put your pack together.

You jumped as your door suddenly burst open, to reveal a breathless Fili.

“What are you doing-?” You began to ask, releasing the buckle you were about to clasp shut as he interrupted you.

“You can’t go.” He pleaded, “I’ve be an ass, I know, but please, don’t go.”

You shook your head, not even a little bit sure about the mixed messages he was giving you, “We’re obviously on very different pages here. If you can’t see a future with me, then I have nothing keeping me here.”

“You’re the only one I see a future with.” He said, stepping up to you, “I apologize if I made you think otherwise, but Y/N, I love you.”

You had wanted to hear him say that for so long, but in the back of your mind, you were still worried, “It didn’t seem that way last night.”

“Last night I was a fool.” He said, taking your hand in his, “I was afraid that it was only the wine speaking, and you didn’t truly feel the same. I thought if you still loved me today, then I could tell you.”

“I’ve loved you for months now.” You told him, “If that’s not enough…”

“It is, you are.” He swore, “I was just too blind to see.”

You were skeptical of his sudden change of heart, but decided to give him a chance to defend himself, “You really think I should stay?”

“Yes! Absolutely.” He said, “Y/N please, you mean too much to me for me to just let you leave.”

“If I did stay,” you said hesitantly, not wanting to get your hopes up just yet, “What would we be? I’m not going to stay and be a friend, just to watch you marry some other girl.”

“Never.” He promised, as he cupped your face in his hands. He moved without hesitation, no longer afraid that you may not feel the same, as he pressed his lips to yours. You moved just as quickly, gripping the fabric of his tunic as you savored the moment you had been waiting so long for.

He pulled back for a split second, before pressing short quick kisses to your lips, “I am such a fool.”

“You can be, it’s alright though.” You teased him, “We could’ve been together months ago.”

“The greatest mistake I’ve ever made.” He swore, moving one hand to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss.

#the hobbit #the hobbit x reader #Fili

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newronantic · 3 years

Text

HAIKYUU!! FICS

so this is mostly gonna be for myself to keep track of my favorite fics i’ve read, but hey if anyone else wants to check some of these out then thats great

MHA one is up!!

ill keep updating this as i read more, feel free to send me suggestions!

KageHina

plain as day - emleewrites

In which Hinata has spent the better part of the last twenty years putting his heart and soul into volleyball, hoping to be recognised, to be noticed. And yet he spends all these years also thinking of himself as rather plain, beyond his lack of height and bright hair, and not really noticeable at all.

In Transit - Mysecretfanmoments

Hinata finds that he likes standing close to Kageyama on buses and trains. It doesn't mean anything--probably. Maybe.

I like the way your clothes smell - Mysecretfanmoments

Power outages, ghost stories, and the presence of a certain orange-haired boy lead to bad decision-making on Tobio's part. He'd planned to keep his crush a secret; the universe has other plans.

Chaotic Neutral - akaraka

Who's this Kageyama person on twitter and is he gay?

1: Anonymous: see title

2: Anonymous: curry king

3: Anonymous >> 1: It's the curry king, obviously. Have you been using his memes this whole time without knowing who he was?

4: Anonymous: 1) Hinata Shouyou's boyfriend 2) See above

jellyfish - mysterytwin

At the beginning of his last year at Karasuno High School, Hinata Shouyou starts a list and calls it THINGS TO DO BEFORE GRADUATION, all with high hopes that he’ll be able to complete it before his time runs out.

TsukkiYama

Try This On For Size - CloudMonsta

A lot changed for Yamaguchi Tadashi over the course of high school. He started trying on dresses, for one.

The Great Yamaguchi-Tsukishima Split (Capitalization Necessary) - WyYeuw

"But no, the current situation isn’t normal. This situation requires the full attention of the team.

No, what’s really concerning this time around, is that Yamaguchi is the one ignoring Tsukishima.”

Yamaguchi confesses. Tsukishima fucks up—like, really fucks up. The volleyball club notices and loses a week’s worth of practice.

IwaOi

Terrarium - sausaged

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

They Say it Rain Diamonds on Jupiter - exsao

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

bait and switch - Stylographic_Blue_Rhapsody

Oikawa's university volleyball team knows he's in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school. They imagine a sweet-faced girl that matches his sarcasm with patience. They are so incredibly wrong.

my heart is where it’s always been - foreverautumn

Iwaizumi places his phone down carefully.

Oikawa. Pining after someone. There’s no way.

(Iwaizumi knows he shouldn’t care who Oikawa might have feelings for, but within the span of three days, it’s somehow the only thing he can think about.)

KuroKen

Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life - todxrxki

Kuroo Tetsurou runs a private Twitter account where he's constantly tweeting about how desperately in love he is with Kozume Kenma. Little does he know that Kenma sees all the tweets and keeps referencing the account in an attempt to get Kuroo to confess to him. / Or, five times Kuroo didn't notice Kenma hinting about his private Twitter account, and one time he finally did.

the things that get caught in the valves of his heart - ghostpot

Emotional competency is not exactly Kuroo's strong suit. Kenma finds it quite amusing.

Accidentally In Love - todxrxki

Kuroo frowns, but then slowly, the corners of his mouth lift up into a smirk. "Well, if it's so unbelievable, why don't we give it a try?"

Kenma glances up at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Let's do the 36 questions to fall in love," Kuroo says, still smirking stupidly. "If we don't fall in love, then you're right, it's bullshit. But if we do somehow..." Kuroo waggles his eyebrows. "Then I win." / Kuroo decides he and Kenma should do the 36 questions to fall in love as a joke, but they both start to realize they might actually be in love already.

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) - cosmogony

TW: major character death

Kuroken AU where the last words your soulmate will say to you appear on your skin when you turn 16, and how Kenma and Kuroo learn what this means over the course of their lives

even if you’re ahead for a bit, i will catch up - ghostpot

Kuroo first confesses when they're sticky-fingered, wide-eyed kids, and subsequently every day after that. Kenma takes a while to come around.

you’re the brake lines failing (as my car swerves off the freeway) - ghostpot

Kenma thinks that Kuroo looks ugly with his head bent against the arm of the couch like that. Then Kenma thinks that he wants to marry him, and is promptly thrown into the 5 stages of grief.

teach me the way home - icespyders

“Don’t go far off, not even for a day, because —

because — I don’t know how to say it: a day is long

and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station

when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.”

Kuroo and Kenma grow up in transit.

in this universe - crossbelladonna

Living with Kuroo is sometimes, just like this. It always feels surreal like he's living half a world and a lot of things rush by too quickly. Kenma feels like he'd watched him come and go in a blink, eyes wide and wordless as the shared space went snug in an instant and far larger in the next.

All this, and a glass of water.

Beginning’s End - todxrxki

Somehow over the course of Kenma's lifetime, he’s never really had an opportunity to miss Kuroo. He’s always been there. Even when they went to different schools, Kuroo would meet him afterwards so they could walk home together, shoulders brushing, Kuroo occasionally taking the opportunity to guide him when his nose was buried in the newest video game. The thought of Kuroo not being there anymore is uncomfortable, to say the least. / Kozume Kenma's third year and the changes the year brings in himself and his relationship with Kuroo Tetsurou.

All I Want for Christmas is You - todxrxki

“Kuro,” he says. “You’re a single guy.”

“Yeah, great, thanks for pointing that out.”

“And my parents already know you, plus they already know you like guys or whatever so… what if you pretended to be my date for Christmas dinner?” / In which Kenma recruits his housemate and best friend Kuroo to be his fake date for Christmas.

BokuAka

just to miss the sun - rosevtea

Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

Operation BokuAka - kazzydolyn

After spending two whole years watching Bokuto and Akaashi pine for one another, the rest of the Fukuroudani Volleyball Club has had enough. When everyone meets up for a reunion dinner, the team decides to play matchmaker and finally get the two of them together. Unfortunately, their plan starts to fall apart when they discover that Akaashi is already dating someone. And apparently so is Bokuto. What a strange coincidence.

bitter - silvercistern

He accepted his classmate's chocolates gracefully, then declared his lack of interest with as much dignity as he could muster. She deserved the courtesy. At least she'd acknowledged that Valentine's Day was all about her, and not about him in the slightest.

Because if any of these girls had taken the time to actually get to know him, they’d quickly realize something even more important than his lack of interest in girls.

And that was that Akaashi hated sweets.

In Another Life - LittleLuxray

TW: major character death

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

120% yes - pissedofsandwich

TOKYO FRANCHISE COMING SOON @OnigiriMiya

in reply to @bokkun_official

Congratulations! In celebration of your historic engagement, please DM us so we can send you a free membership code with a 25% discount on every fourth purchase!

Kissing Ace - karasunovolleygays

It happens right after training camp.

Akaashi Keiji has a secret he has guarded since he was a child. He won’t go so far as to call it a fear, but more of an aspect of himself of which he is horribly mortified. No one on the team knows about it, and Akaashi does his best to keep it that way.

But years of dodging hugs and casual contact come to naught in the blink of an eye and the swipe of a hand.

daisy rings and frivolous things (i am deliriously in love with you) - gabstar

Akaashi Keiji is in love. Bokuto Koutarou is a star. Everyone on Fukurodani has a gambling problem.

SakuAtsu

The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets - isaksara (syailendra)

Sakusa’s eyes are very dark naturally, sucking in all surrounding rays of light and crushing them in his pupils. For an athlete, he is rather pale. His lips look very pink in comparison. Atsumu is suddenly catastrophically aware that in this instance, ‘accent’ is a euphemism. “Good enough for your Olympic-size ego, Miya?”

(In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.)

A Liar’s Truth - internetpistol

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

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sugamamacustard · 4 years

Text

Rut

Pairing: Alpha! Tetsuro Kuroo x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Atsumu Miya x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Kiyoomi Sakusa x Omega! Reader

Genre: NSFW

Request: Hi, custard💕 your writing is soso wonderful! Can I request headcanons about alpha!Kuroo, alpha!Atsumu, alpha!Sakusa (separately) going into rut with his fem!omega!S/O?

Summary: You and your alpha have been through so much together, but how are the reacting when their rut hits?

Author’s Note: Holy wow guys, going through my requests, there’s a lot of Sakusa ones. So I caved and decided this is a good a place as any to start with him! And thank you so much!

I’m vibrating bc I just got accepted into Uni and just-

Requests: Open!

WARNING: Smut, Daddy Kink in Atsumu, slight bondage in Sakusa’s. Please give me some daddy kink asks

Tetsuro Kuroo

➵Ah yes, thirst asks. One of my favorites- even if I try keeping up the innocent writer façade. I’m not. My other blog has some filthy smut on it.

➵ Anyway, moving on.

➵ Kuroo is a rough lover as is. He teases, he drags you along a long, long road for you orgasm, pounding you into the mattress. and drawing all sorts of pathetic mewls out of you.

➵It’s okay to drool.

➵It’s just his alpha instincts that make him want to mark you from tit to toe.

➵He, on a normal basis, bites you and claws your hips anyway, but when his rut hits?

➵He’s feral.

➵ There will be bite marks littered up and down your spine and bruises practically imprinted on your hips.

➵You better believe you are not leaving your nest until his rut is done. You are stuck.

➵Though he’s always ears open incase you need to tap out, his alpha always always putting you first.

➵But if you stick through it?

➵He is rough and feral and pounding into your poor abused entrance until your sobbing.

➵ You most likely have to plan for his rut two weeks in advance

➵Which is hard between dancing around his pre-rut symptoms and prepping yourself for what is sure to be a week of pure, filthy sex.

➵Okay let’s side bar into Pre-rut bc I don’t think I went into a lot.

➵Tetsuro’s Pre-rut isn’t terrible. He mostly just sticks around as often as he can, growling at anyone who steps too close to you, feeding you his lunch, scenting you constantly.

➵Definitely one of the better ones to have during this time, I tell ya.

➵But of course, he makes it a little difficult while your trying to discreetly stock up on easy grab snacks and water jugs.

➵Kenma helps out a lot though, he honestly is probably your best friend is your dating Kuroo.

---

The hand around your throat kept you pinned to the plush bottom of your nest. Your mewls and moans were muffled but at this point you couldn’t hear them, even if you wanted too, through the blood rushing through your ears. Your hips hurt with how hard Tetsuro was gripping them, pulling you in time with his thrusts.

“Fuck kitten.” His growl had you gushing slick around his cock, making him, in turn, growl lower. His hips were moving at such a rapid pace, you couldn’t see them, even if you wanted to. All you could do was feel his cock drag in and out of your gushing hole, pleasure wringing your stomach like a wet towel.

“Alpha- Alpha, gonna- gonna cum on your- your- holy FUCK-” You turned your head to bite the pillows beneath you, feeling yourself tighten around Tetsuro. He sunk his teeth into your mating mark, making you gasp as you came with a loud whimper, pushing back onto him as he continued fucking you within an inch of any actual thoughts.

Just your alpha and how good he was making you feel.

You felt his hips still as a warm load of cum shot into you, filling you to the brim and making you hum in bliss. Tetsuro chuckled, unlatching from your neck and lapping at the pearls of blood poking through. He allowed you to catch your breath before pulling you to sit on his thighs, cock still buried deep inside of you-- his knot just barely staying out.

“Good kitten. Now, let’s see if I can fuck some pups into you.”

Atsumu Miya

➵Alright, let’s set the seeds of how I imagine one of the Miya’s in bed.

➵Atsumu absolutely adores the earth you walk on.

➵Even if he had to fight Osamu for you in the beginning. It was all worth it.

➵He treated you well, worshipping you in bed. There is never a time he hasn’t had you quivering because of his tongue.

➵He, however, is also such an asshole in the bedroom.

➵Like yes, he’s pulling you to sit on his face, but yes, he’s also edging you until your sobbing and grinding your self against him.

➵If your riding him, he’s suddenly holding your hips down and making you cockwarm him while he does some sort of shit on his phone.

➵If he’s holding you missionary, he can just as quickly can pull you into a mating press, locking your arms between your chest and knees, absolutely pounding into your poor entrance.

➵ So while Atsumu can be generous and can absolutely worship you, he also can and will be a huge asshole.

➵His rut doesn’t make it any better.

➵He just gets worse.

➵He either makes you sob with pleasure or beg for something.

➵Like, you thought Atsumu would be the horny, needy, whiny one?

➵You thought wrong. Atsumu knows exactly how to turn his hormones against you, make them work for him

➵Side bar once more: Atsumu’s pre-rut? SUCKS-

➵Sorry not sorry.

➵This man prolly doesn’t realize his rut is approaching until you pop into the gym, excusing him from practice for the week.

➵He doesn’t care about it before that. Sorry man.

---

“Is your alpha’s cock not enough for you?” His voice was silky as he hissed at you, fingers clawing at your hips, keeping you perched just above his knot. “I thought I was the horny one.”

You whimpered above him, hands clawing his shoulders as you struggled to hold yourself up. You didn’t want to disappoint daddy, did you?

A harsh smack to your ass had you yelping, throwing your head back as you cried out a mix between a chirp and a moan.

“Answer Daddy when he’s talking to you.”

“I’m sorry Daddy- so sorry! I promise to be good. Be good for Daddy. Patient and good. Daddy’s cock fills me so nicely-” You yelped when another smack stung your ass cheeks, making you shut your mouth.

Atsumu grumbled into your chest, loosening his grip ever so slightly before pulling you up, quickly slamming you down before repeating the process. He ignored any protest you gave, instead chasing his own release. Slick dripped between your thighs, coating his own thighs as well.

“Is my prince(ss) making a mess of themselves?” He snickered, keeping his pace as you built up to your orgasm. You nodded wildly, trying to keep up with his brutal pace.

“Just for daddy!” You yelped, throwing your head onto his shoulder. “Daddy- gonna-gonna cum!”

You nearly cried when he stopped, feeling him chuckle into your chest.

“Not yet, sweet cheeks. After all...This week is all about daddy.”

Kiyoomi Sakusa

➵Sakusa, Sakusa, Sakusa. Where do I begin with you sweet prince.

➵ You know what, we’ll start with our sidebar.

➵It’s not you prepping. It’s him. He like- hardcore- nests. Like he’s the alpha, yeah, but there’s so many things he has to prep.

➵Like your nest? All the blankets have to be sanitized and re-scented and the pillows have to be washed and re fluffed-

➵His room (Where you keep one of many nests) has to be cleaned and reorganized and he has to restock your snack stash and purify the water jugs-

➵God he just has so much to do okay-

➵Sex itself is just a lot of work for poor Sakusa.

➵He’s come a long way though.

➵Only for you though.

➵I can imagine Omi being super into Toys because less... ya know...

➵He’ll still fuck you until your knees wobble and knock together, but he’s also into the little bullet vibrators that he can hold onto your nipples or clit (Dependent)

➵His rut makes these unacceptable. His alpha won’t allow it.

➵He can pleasure you just fine without the use of toys,

➵I can also imagine he’d be super into, like, face to face positions so he focus on your beautiful features instead on the mess below you guys.

---

Your wrists were bound above your head with your knees pressed to your chest. The smell of alcohol was pungent under the stench of sex, making your nose scrunch. Omi was keeping you pinned, thrusting in slow, calculated thrusts, grinding against you with ever pull.

You were whimpering with every pull and push of Omi’s cock against your walls, teasing you in the most aggravating, but delicious, way.

You could see the way he eyes your every reaction, beautiful eyes blown with lust tracing every facial feature of yours. Watching every reaction you gave him. Watching you.

He grunted when your walls clutched him a little too tightly, slowing his thrusts a little more. “So good to me omega, letting me use you any way I want. “

He hissed when the praise seemed to do nothing but clutch him tighter, teetering him even closer to the edge. He wouldn’t give in, pulling out completely, instead replacing his dick with his fingers and teasing your sweet spot (He could practically pinpoint it at this point).

Slick coated his fingers, making him smirk as you withered against him. Turns out, you were just as close as he was, if not closer.

“Now, let’s see how good I can be to you.”

2K notes · View notes

scummy-writes · 3 years

Text

Better in The Morning

Rating: Explicit (Minors dni)

Words: 5703

Pairing: Theo/Arthur

Tags: Jealousy, Drinking, Blood Drinking, Anal Sex, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Light Angst, Choking, Idiots to Lovers, Biting, Theocona

Full fic under the cut!

Preview:

The feel of Theo’s tongue against his drew a shudder out. Arthur twisted his fingers into Theo’s shirt, head beginning to spin as Theo’s kisses grew rough, more demanding, making Arthur’s hands shake as he blindly searched for the buttons of Theo’s shirt and clumsily worked them. It was difficult to concentrate or even attempt taking back control when Theo kept stealing his breath, and Arthur was pleased; safe from the burden of thinking past impulses.

Three buttons undone, and Arthur’s palms spread out against Theo’s chest as they finally broke apart, gasping for breath. He watched as Theo surveyed him, taking in the sight of his hair disheveled, his slick and swollen lips. Arthur knew the heat spread across his cheeks was obvious, and when a ghost of a prideful smirk took over Theo’s features, Arthur wrapped his arms around his neck with a strained chuckle.

------

Sex was just a formula in the end: Flirting, enticing, tempting touches. Hushed promises breathed against heated skin, the shuffling of clothes along with the creak of a mattress. Slow, purposeful touches that crept faster, until thinking wasn’t needed as instinct took over.

Or, most of the time it’s how it went.

Arthur hazily looked at the woman laid bare in front of him, sweat shining on her breasts while her hands dug into the sheets. Her eyes were squeezed shut, mouth hung open as her gasps and groans began to rise higher in pitch. With such a pretty little bird beneath him and pleasure making his mind spin, how was it that his thoughts kept flitting elsewhere? Making his breath catch for other reasons; movements falter.

What a disservice to the one calling his name…

Arthur leaned over her, making her shiver with the playful nips he drew along her jaw, trailing further and further below until he could nose her pulse, sighing at the fragrance of perfume mixed with such a lovely drink. He timed his bite with a harsh thrust of his hips, feeling her nails dig into his back as she clenched around him.

It wasn’t as if it was a bore, but the only thirst quenched tonight was that of his throat. He found himself getting dressed rather quickly after discarding the condom, and the woman hazily reached out to him, barely having caught her breath and struggling to keep lucid with the pleasure still trembling through her.

“W-where are you…?”

“Ah, sorry luv,” He feigned a pout, giving a quick kiss to her cheek, “got a rather busy morning tomorrow, can’t quite risk being late.”

Granted, he wasn’t a total ass. Arthur made sure to clean up the mess they made without disturbing her too much as she faded out, but he was still out on the streets faster than usual. Huffing to himself, he stretched as he walked.

When was the last time sex felt so pitiful for him?

Deep down Arthur knew the reasons why, but he was stubborn, if anything. Refusing to give his feelings a name as they steadily bubbled within him, begrudgingly recalling a scene from earlier this afternoon. Where he had finally caught a glimpse of Theo after days on end of elusive misses; the man having been too busy to even linger for breakfast- or rather, linger long enough for Arthur to wake up and join.

He had been so excited too, walking up to try and ask the art dealer for some of his time. Only to stop when a woman seemed to join Theo, watching as her bright laughter brought on a smile he had never seen from Theo before.

It was such a small scene, and truly, shouldn’t he feel happy for his stoic friend? Instead, his throat had felt tight, a wash of bitterness overtaking him as he turned back around, finding himself heading towards visiting his favorite pub.

Now, Arthur kicked a pebble ahead of him as he walked home, unable to properly distract himself as he played the scene out over and over in his mind.

---

Arthur sighed, dropping his pen aside as he took his glasses off. Crumpled papers were littered on his desk, and his current sheet in front of him was just filled with scratched out words and ink blots. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to produce, after being awake for well over a full twenty-four hours now. It wasn’t as if his eighth cup of coffee would magically yield better results than the last.

“Blast…”

It was too late to go out of the mansion at this point, far too late to see if he could even swoon some minx into a distraction- and the appeal of that dwindled down as he remembered the pisspoor attempt from last time…

Standing up, he stretched his back before slumping.

Running from troubles were always temporary, in the end. After a while, they caught up, and Arthur knew when he had to settle in and let them run their course. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t be sour over it, hating the way his anxieties and fears would churn in his stomach, but at least his reluctant acceptance still gave him a vague feeling of agency over his own mind turning against him.

The parlor felt like a breath of fresh air in comparison to his stuffy room, and Arthur placed the decanter of whiskey he snatched on the side table, knowing he could be left alone to ruminate over his childish feelings in peace, nursing a glass and hoping to fall asleep. The warm glow the light gave off certainly helped him feel a bit drowsy, even if his wandering thoughts were working against him in that regard.

Arthur settled himself into the chair, pouring himself a drink as he surveyed the cover of a book. Just a harmless collection of poetry, but recalling the way Theo seemed so absorbed reading it in the salon made his stomach stir. Against his better judgement, he opened the book and flipped through the pages, scanning each stanza and wondering.

Was Theo reading this and thinking of that woman? Each flowery bit of prose bringing that same smile she had managed to drudge out as Theo thought about her?

Arthur knew he had no right to be so torn up about this, not when he had a body count that was too high to remember, but…

It still stung regardless. Pooling in the pit of his stomach, making his breaths harder to take in the longer this feeling ruminated inside. He knew that, even if he weren't so cowardly, that he hadn't a hope of pulling those smiles out of Theo. That his refusal to admit his feelings, even to himself, was what had landed him in this mess.

Of course, while he sat there bitterly overlooking poem after poem, the man he had been lamenting about comes into the parlor. At the height of Arthur’s self degradation, nonetheless.

A gruff sigh spilled out of Theo once Arthur wearily met his gaze. He didn’t say anything at first, eyes glancing at the bottle resting beside Arthur, then towards the book he held. If Theo had any strong feelings towards the poetry, he didn’t show it as he walked over, taking the seat beside him.

“Didn’t think you read the stuff.”

Didn’t think you did either. But Arthur shrugged, setting the book aside, “someone left it in here.”

It was quiet. Theo didn’t seem to have any reason to come into the parlor, but he sat patiently beside Arthur regardless, toying with the decanter’s top as time ticked by.

“How long have you been here?”

“Mm. Dunno. Long enough to wonder how long until le Comte updates his library,” he gestured his glass towards the book resting between them, “that book is older than the both of us.”

Arthur could feel Theo’s gaze on him. It wasn’t like the man was attempting to hide it, but he kept silent as Arthur took a slow sip of his whiskey with a sigh.

“Couldn’t find a ‘bird’ to put up with you tonight?”

And deal with another woman with a mothering complex trying to ‘nurse him’ back to whatever his normal was? No. He just shrugged at Theo’s question instead, raking a hand through his hair as he slouched in his seat, shaking his head, “wasn’t in the mood.”

“Mm. Finally gaining a conscience over leaving those women alone in the morning?”

The gentle prod was obvious, but Arthur ignored it as he poured himself another glass. He wasn’t sure what brought forth concern on Theo’s end. Did he look as haggard as he felt? Sleep had never came last night, and he knew that much was obvious, but what else was causing Theo’s eyes to narrow while Arthur stared into the amber liquid?

Downing it in one go, Arthur made the motion towards the decanter but felt Theo’s hand on his.

The warmth of Theo’s hand stole his thoughts away. He was so used to wearing gloves that he found himself unable to recall a moment where they had skin to skin contact before now. Skinship that wasn’t drunken brushes between each other. Arthur swallowed thickly, mind overcome with imaginings of Theo holding that woman’s hand and smiling- smiles Arthur could never evoke from him, feeling his chest clench again.

Drinking suddenly felt like a need, rather than a want.

“Theo?”

Theo blinked, swallowing when his eyes wavered with something Arthur couldn't catch, “we both know you’re a lightweight, slow down on the drinking.”

Arthur’s brows furrowed, shaking Theo’s hand off, “we’re at home, anyway, ‘s not like I’m going to cause trouble.”

“Arthur.”

“Bloody hell, what is it?” Theo recoiled at his tone. He took his time with a response, ruminating on the words for a reason Arthur couldn’t fathom, but the words just made his sudden temper worse.

“Drinking isn’t going to help whatever mood you're in.”

Silence stretched out between them as Arthur held his breath, his glass still resting on the table as they looked at each other. Theo’s concern was evident, and deep down Arthur knew that it was genuine; possibly even what had prompted Theo to come into the room to begin with, but jealousy kept skewing his perception. Arthur clicked his tongue as he finally tore his gaze away.

“It’ll help me sleep tonight,” another pause, then Arthur rubbed his eyes with a huff, annoyed at himself, “I haven’t slept for ages-”

“Drinking will knock you flat on your ass, but you know as well as I do that it’ll make you go through hell when you finally do wake up.”

“Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment-” It certainly felt like it when he couldn’t stop himself from deliberately pushing people away from him, but Theo ignored his depressive tone, yanking the decanter out of his grasp.

“Then, view this as a punishment.”

"For God's sake- you're going to do this all night aren't you?"

It wasn't so much a question, not with how Arthur rolled his eyes, finishing off his glass before Theo could think about grabbing it. "You do know there's more booze in the mansion, don't you?"

Theo shrugged his shoulders, "I know that if you're too lazy to go distract yourself with one of your 'skirts', you're too lazy to scour for more."

Arthur didn't respond, eyes closed as he leaned upon his elbow, propping his head up with a sigh.

"... What do you propose, then?"

At Arthur’s first stumble out of the parlor, Theo tsked and wrapped his arm around his shoulders, huffing a reprimand in the process. It was an accident, Arthur really hadn’t drank that much yet, but… He let himself be led towards his room, feeling careless ideas come to mind the longer he let Theo keep his grip.

Each step closer, Arthur considered his options, feeling his emotions battling out his rationale. What proof did he have of Theo really getting with that woman? A quick glance and Theo had no lipstick markings on his cheeks or neck, no scent of perfume… Most people were quick to spend as much time with a new partner in the beginning stages. Given that Theo rarely had any breaks from work and didn’t appear to spend his rare day off with the woman Arthur had saw, it opened two possibilities.

Either they had yet to breach the hurdle of admitting their feelings towards each other, or they had been together for longer than Arthur realized.

The latter stung at the back of his throat as he swallowed the thought down, focusing on the first. Because if they had yet to get together… Well, Arthur could do what he does best.

He smiled bitterly to himself, playing up the role of a drunk as they neared Theo’s room.

Excuses. That’s what Arthur needed; something to make his behavior forgettable in the morning. Something to make his shame easier to deal with the next day. He took advantage of Theo’s dazed state after they stumbled into his room, cupping his cheeks mid-scold and stealing a lingering kiss. At first, Theo seemed frozen, unsure of how to react, and Arthur’s fear exacerbated. He nipped at Theo’s bottom lip, feeling his shoulders drop with relief when the man finally kissed him back.

Theo was hesitant, his grip unfocused as Arthur managed to take the lead; distracting him as he slowly backed Theo into his desk chair, straddling him easily. When they broke apart, panting as Theo’s confused look swept over him, the taste of him still lingered on Arthur’s lips as he nervously licked them, “don’t you want a distraction too?”

Theo’s gaze narrowed for a moment. The threat of getting an answer he feared pushed Arthur to act impulsively, crashing their lips together in one fluid movement.

Regardless of how clumsy it was, Arthur was thankful when he felt Theo’s grip focus on his ass, pushing their bodies flush together and dragging out as gasp when his fingers threaded themselves in Arthur’s hair; holding him in place as their rushed kisses deepened. Every heavy breath between them reeked of ethanol, and as Arthur felt Theo slowly get harder, he pushed the thoughts of their crumbling friendship aside.

“You’re not going to stop there, are you?”

With a slow blink, Theo finally came back to the present and slid his palms over Arthur’s ass again. A surge of heat rushed through Arthur, making him bite his lip in pleasure.

They weren’t sober by any means, but neither of them were drunk. Yet when Theo suddenly began pressing his lips against Arthur’s neck, he let out a breathless, excited laugh with his groan, Arthur’s head spinning as if he had drank his limit three times over.

A brush of Theo’s fangs against his skin made Arthur thread his fingers through Theo’s locks, shivering with the teasing waves of pleasure it brought. Slowly, the chair they sat on began to creak as Arthur rolled his hips, grinding their clothed erections together with an open moan. It only took a few more desperate pushes to coax Theo into changing positions.

Arthur nearly yelped as Theo abruptly stood up, carrying him over towards his bed with much more ease than expected- only to drop Arthur onto the mattress.

“Bloody hell, Theo, I’m not a toy-” but his flash of annoyance disappeared as Theo straddled him, working his shirt off. Unable to look away, Arthur’s eyes raked over Theo’s chest, a hum of appreciation unabashedly slipping out, “... maybe we should have done this sooner.”

Theo scoffed, beginning to roughly unbutton Arthur’s shirt, looking pleased when Arthur arched into his touch. Excited, Arthur smirked as he slid his hands between them, deftly unbuckling Theo’s belt.

It was rushed, and Arthur liked it that way. Dragging out teasing touches just opened up the chance for his unwanted thoughts to consume him and take him out of the mood. Arthur wanted to speed this up, drive Theo mad enough to shove his face into the mattress and give him the mindless pleasure he craved. So he tugged Theo’s zipper down and cupped his length, a breathless laugh escaping him when Theo briefly thrusted against his palm with a low grunt.

Arthur took Theo’s open pleasure in stride, grinning as he slipped his hand into Theo’s boxers, grasping his cock and giving a few loose strokes. Already, precum was leaking from Theo’s slit, and Arthur couldn’t help the soft groan he let out when he felt it wet his palm, “all because of me, hm?”

“Something like that.”

The unintentional pout he gave made Theo bark out a laugh, which caused his lips to twist into a frown. ‘Something like that’. He’ll make it because of him, regardless of Theo’s pride.

Running his thumb over Theo’s slit, he dragged the precum gathered there in a slow, teasing circle along his glans, loving how Theo’s eyes fluttered shut with a moan, “mm, are you sure?”

Theo’s eyes snapped open in annoyance, and suddenly Arthur’s belt was roughly being undone and tossed aside so Theo could yank his pants down enough to take his cock into his hand, mimicking Arthur’s earlier motions. Giddily, Arthur thrust into Theo’s grip, letting out a content, low sigh, “finally.”

He had to wonder what he looked like to Theo, a man he was unsure of would even find pleasure in any of this before now. A flushed, sultry mess like the minxes Arthur happily devoured, tempting Theo to explore new sinful approaches to their relationship?

Arthur almost scoffed at himself, but he still played his part; tugging Theo down by his arm, demanding another flurry of biting kisses as their cocks brushed against each other. He took delight in the strained moan Theo choked on when Arthur reached between them, grasping their throbbing cocks in his hand. There wasn’t any need for words. Theo quickly began to slip his tongue back into Arthur’s mouth, thrusting in time with Arthur’s strokes, swallowing their muffled moans.

But then Theo’s fingers pried Arthur’s grip open, threading their hands together and instead forced Arthur to stroke them like that- as if they were holding hands. It shouldn’t have tripped Arthur up, not when the move made it easier for them to chase after their release, but he found his thoughts slipping back towards a different type of neediness.

It took a lot to break apart from Theo, who quickly busied himself nipping at Arthur’s neck while he caught his breath long enough to speak, “H-hey, surely you don’t want it to- ahn, end like this?”

“Mm, think you can handle otherwise?”

Arthur just chuckled, running a hand through his sweaty bangs, “don't make me beg, Theo, I'm not sure either of us could take it.”

The cocky tone earned him a harsh nip to his pulse, making Arthur let out a choked noise when Theo paired it with a squeeze to the tip of their cocks. Theo finally let go after a moment and carefully got off of him, reaching into his nightstand to pull out a jar of lube.

"I can't believe you jerk off more than sleep around, ' Arthur mused and removed his undergarments as Theo rolled his eyes, '...what does the stubborn Theodorus Van Gogh get off to, hm?"

His question seemingly went ignored as Theo came back to him, fingers slick with lube. Gently he rested his knees on the bed, nudging Arthur to spread his legs before he spread lube around his hole.

Arthur hated this. He hated the careful way Theo pushed a finger inside of him, watching as Arthur held his breath. It’s not as if it hurt- god only knows how often Arthur’s been more adventurous- but the process takes time. And asking patience from a man who was struggling as much as he was torture.

“Better tell me if it hurts, klootzak.”

He nodded, knowing Theo would stop otherwise. After a few careful pumps, Theo pressed another finger inside, drawing a content sigh of his name from Arthur. By the time the third one was in, Arthur slowly began to stroke himself, shooting a smile Theo’s way when he watched intently, “enjoying the show?”

“Wondering how you manage to keep from being a quick shot.”

"Believe it or not, I do have some self control."

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he scoffed.

The way Theo smirked as the tip of his cock started to push into him made Arthur’s arousal flare, and… Well, it didn't feel bad, but Arthur winced as Theo inched deeper, his length thicker than Arthur had initially believed.

With that slip in confidence, Theo stopped abruptly, making Arthur grumble impatiently.

"Come now, you're not going to tease me this badly, are you?"

"You're already wincing-"

"Well, I didn't realize your thick-headedness extended that far down, Theo."

Regardless, Theo carefully pulled out of Arthur, evidently ready to settle on a different method of getting off.

“If you’re that worried then,” Arthur sat up, stealing another kiss before muttering against Theo’s mouth, “lay down.”

The look Theo gave was skeptical, but he backed off. Laying down he eyed Arthur, his caution ebbing away as Arthur threw a leg over his waist, straddling him with a grin. He kept one hand on Theo's chest as he reached behind him, giving Theo’s thick length a few good strokes before steering the tip of his cock to his entrance. The anticipation that had built up in Arthur’s abdomen dissolved into a fiery heat once he gingerly lowered himself onto Theo’s cock, his quiet gasps making Theo grab onto his thighs in a flash of worry.

“Hey, don’t push yourse-,” but Arthur’s hips sank down in one fluid movement before Theo could finish, taking Theo’s cock in as deep as he could manage.

“F-fuck, Theo, I-” a shudder overcame Arthur as his own cock throbbed with need.

“Yeah? Thought you said you could take it?”

He shot Theo a bleary-eyed glare, one that barely lingered, his expression morphing into one of pleasure as he tested a roll of his hips, loving the way Theo’s length pushed back into him impatiently.

Arthur spread his hands out on Theo's chest, doing his best to ignore how fast Theo's heart was beating as he used the leverage to start an unsteady pace.

It was difficult to quip about Theo's flushed features, not when his head was already spinning from finally getting Theo tangled up with him like this. Each bounce on Theo's cock slowly made Arthur's composure slip, his speed faltering when he managed to plunge Theo's cock in deeper on some thrusts more than others.

Admittedly, it drove Arthur nearly mad; getting Theo just where he wanted him, only for Arthur to clumsily take his cock like this. Whereas Theo… Arthur hesitated, shivering from the excitement buzzing throughout him, Theo still wore a confident smirk with his skin just as flushed as Arthur’s.

"I thought you've done this before?"

"I have- y-you're just so bloody thick-" Theo's rough hands grabbed ahold of his hips, interrupting Arthur as Theo pulled him down just as he thrusted upwards, drawing out a strangled cry from the writer, "Theo!"

“Does it hurt?”

“No-”

“Then,” Theo tightened his grip, keeping up the pace and covering the speed Arthur was lacking, “stop complaining.”

And maybe Arthur really had too much to drink; he couldn’t focus on anything but chasing the pleasure of this secretly harbored fantasy coming to life. He was unable to care about the noises spilling out as Theo roughly guided Arthur’s hips to meet each thrust he gave.

The throbbing arousal coursing through him reached a dangerous peak not too long after, and Arthur’s nails dug into Theo’s chest as he attempted to regain some clarity and control himself better. But Theo slowed and stopped moving, causing Arthur to pant out a curse.

"Y-You're such a devil-!"

"Mm, doesn't seem to stop you from mewling."

Arthur’s head spun as Theo pulled out, drawing an embarrassing whine out until he was pushed onto his back. Theo's palms slid along the underside of Arthur's thighs, ass, until he grabbed his sides, pushing in deep with a lazy roll of his hips.

"Uhn- ah! Theo-" Arthur’s voice was already strained, but another groan bubbled up when Theo picked up the pace. It was obvious Theo was getting close, his jaw clenched tight as his thrusts delved deeper, harsh enough to make the bed creak in tandem.

Fumbling, Arthur tugged on Theo’s locks to crash their lips together again. Nails dug into his hips for a moment, and then Theo broke them apart, eyes narrowed at Arthur’s chuckle.

Finding a hand at his throat, Arthur lightly gasped as Theo’s barely-there grip focused on the sides of his throat. It was enough to give Arthur a chance to rasp out any type of rejection to the idea, but instead the writer dug his heels into Theo’s ass, urging him to keep going.

At first, Theo kept his hold as it was, but as he began to get closer to his release, he tightened it just enough for Arthur’s knees to press against his waist, Arthur’s eyes going hazy at the new pleasure.

And then he let go, permitting Arthur to take in a deep breath, “fuck…”

“Tell me if I need to stop,” Theo warned, but Arthur just chuckled.

“Don’t stop until you cum. You’re, ahn, just as close as I am, h-huh?” Arthur gave him a smug look despite the flush on his cheeks, despite the way his bangs were ruffled and damp with sweat; Theo gripped him tight as he leaned over, nipping and sucking a mark onto his neck, right where his collar couldn’t reach. Arthur’s cock throbbed at the sensation, feeling as though he was being claimed.

“Then- Tell me where you want it.”

"I-inside! Oh hell, Theo, I want to feel it-"

Arthur's back arched as Theo's grip tightened again, feeling Arthur clench around his cock.

"Feel what?"

Release, Arthur sucking in air as he spoke all at once.

"Want to feel your cock throb- a-as you cum, mmph. Make me feel- ghk-!"

Another tightened grip, and Arthur's eyes welled as Theo slammed into him, heavily panting as Arthur shook with each thrust. The lack of air nearly became unbearable, but just before it was too much, Theo let go. Instead he pushed on Arthur’s thighs, nearly folding him in half as he thrusted once, twice, and then spilled inside with a rasp.

The faint smell of ethanol lingered between them, mixed into the way Arthur desperately tugged Theo close, smashing their lips together in clumsy kisses. He threaded his fingers through Theo's hair, keeping him in place for just a moment, to meet his gaze when they broke apart.

"Theo."

His name is muttered as a lovelorn sigh, Arthur's eyes searching his for something, but Theo dipped his head against Arthur's neck, avoiding the unspoken confession as his fangs broke skin.

“Ah-Ah! Oh gods-” Arthur’s nails dig deep into Theo’s back and scalp, his noises turning into choked rasps as Theo reached between them, jerking Arthur off to the timing of his slowing thrusts.

Arthur lasted just long enough for Theo to pull his fangs out, to let out a string of curses as he tensed and spilled over Theo’s hand, and then Theo pulled out with shuddering breaths, forehead planted against Arthur’s shoulder.

It took what felt like ages for the two of them to catch their breath. As soon as the afterglow fades and a slow ache replaces it, Arthur found his thoughts immediately settling onto his current issue: Theo. Who was refusing to look at him, head still pressed against his shoulder.

Embarrassment started to creep in the longer they refused to speak.

What did you do, Arthur?

"Well, that was a nice bit of fun," he swallowed thickly, hoping Theo can't feel the hammering in his chest, "perhaps we should do this again sometime…"

Theo groaned, frustration clear, "is sex the only thing that's ever on your mind?"

"You weren't complaining before-"

But Theo finally got up, sitting back on his knees, "can you get up?"

"What, kicking me out so soon? No wonder you can only get with your hand."

"Bath, Arthur. Trying to see if you can make it to the le therme."

Oh…

Shame struck Arthur once they both sink into the water, the heat drawing attention to all the parts of him that ache. He was lucky his job wasn't anything like Theo's, and that he could get away with sitting on his ass all day.

Getting here wasn't as easy as he thought. All his bravado fizzled away when it became apparent just how hard they had gone at it, and Arthur's stumble when getting up prompted Theo to…

Well, he's just thankful no one saw how pathetic he looked getting here.

Arthur sank a little deeper into the water as the silence between them stretched out, glad the heat was helping his lower back. But the longer they were quiet, the more Arthur’s thoughts rushed; had anyone else heard them? What was Theo thinking right now?

Had Arthur just ruined whatever was built up between them, or were those feelings completely one-sided?

An annoyed tsk caused him to glance at Theo, who was rubbing his neck.

“Did you have to leave a mark so high up? How am I going to explain this…”

Ah… now that he was looking at Theo in the light, he noticed his desperation all over him. Lovebites along his neck and collar, Theo’s hair still mussed and scratches along his shoulder… At the thought of others catching a glimpse, Arthur felt his jealousy simmer.

“I think it looks good,” looked like he’s taken, at least.

"I feel sorry for all those women you sleep with if they wake up like this. Tch, I look like a fool."

Arthur wasn't sure what to feel. Proud? Sated? There was a sliver of joy humming inside of him; he finally got a taste of what he'd been craving for so long. But guilt and fear were quickly taking ahold of him, unable to keep himself from wondering just how bad he screwed things up.

"What does this mean now?" The question slipped out as soon as he thought it, and Arthur felt his ears burn as Theo shrugged.

"You said you wanted a distraction, and you got it."

Ouch. But he did deserve that, he supposed.

"So… We just go along like this never happened?" Theo gave him a noncommittal grunt, and Arthur kept on, "Theo, just humor me, will you?"

There was a sigh, Theo rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't know what answer you want, Arthur. For fucks sake, neither of us were thinking."

"Doesn't this have higher stakes for you? What about that pretty bird you keep taking strolls along the Seine with?"

Theo froze, giving Arthur an incredulous look, "you mean Mr. Garnier’s wife?"

Arthur went quiet, feeling heat in his cheeks as he processed Theo's words, and the accompanying embarrassment. Weakly, he stammered, "i-is that the only woman you've… you've been seeing?"

And Theo, the bastard, burst in laughter as a response. Not quietly either; loud enough to make Arthur's ears ring as the foolishness of this situation sunk in.

"Theo, for gods sake-"

"Is that what this was all about? Is that why you were in such a mood earlier?"

Arthur covered his face, his pride washing away, "my god man, do shut up."

His laughter continued until it faded off into a chuckle. Seeing Arthur still unable to look his way, Theo finally relaxed, wrapping an arm around Arthur’s shoulders and tugging him close.

“Come ‘ere.” Arthur still doesn’t speak, but Theo slowly continues, choosing his words carefully, “is this really why you’ve been moody lately?”

“At this point, does it really matter if I give an answer?”

Reviewing tonight’s events should have been enough of an answer, but with the reluctant confirmation, Theo just gives Arthur a half-hearted squeeze. It made Arthur finally relax his shoulders, no longer hiding his face.

“I’m… Not good with these things, Arthur,” No, he wasn’t. It was another reason Arthur had been so surprised to see him happily with another woman. But now, knowing all of that jealousy was pointless, to an extent, well… Arthur kept quiet as Theo continued, “even before arriving here, when I didn’t have so much weighing me down, I wasn’t good at this. But…”

Theo trailed off before taking another deep breath, “if this is genuine... then I’m willing to give it a try. With you.”

Surprised, Arthur looked over to meet Theo’s gaze- only to see the man was turned away, the tips of his ears reddened.

“‘I’m not good at these things’, he says…”

Theo turned to shoot him a glare, only frowning when he realized it let Arthur see just how badly he was blushing.

“I’m trying.”

Chuckling, Arthur felt his anxieties start to ebb away, “you really want to do this? With a mess like me? If this thing goes south, well…”

“I’d be handling this ‘mess’ in one way or another, regardless.”

“Very romantic, Theo. Thanks.”

The quip eases them both with the laugh it brings, and this time the quiet that stretched out was comfortable.

“We’ll need to talk about this more, in the morning, but for now,” Theo slipped his arm around Arthur’s waist, relaxing, “don’t work yourself up. We’re fine.”

“That obvious, huh?”

“You’re not the only one good at reading others, you know.”

Arthur merely hummed in response, letting that comfortable silence come back.

It felt odd, to say the least, to even consider getting into a serious relationship. Years of waving off most chances at happiness caused an almost knee-jerk reaction to do the same here; to chase Theo off with showcasing the worst of him. But Theo had already seen all of that.

There was still the chance of this not working out, or working out in the way they planned, but Arthur finally let himself rest against Theo, choosing to ignore those obnoxious worries at least for tonight.

------

I've discovered a friend can innocently send me a song saying it makes them think of a shared favored ship, only for me to dumbly open a word doc to scramble in a fic inspired by it.

I've wanted to write a longer Theocona fic for a while now, I didn't think it'd be like this, especially given how it's. Rusty. But if you read through it all: Thank you!

While I love these fools, I'm not too sure when the next time I'll write another fic for them. Theo's really hard to write, and I have so many older wips I need to finish... Maybe sooner than later I'll have another, but an established relationship themed one...

Thank you again for reading!

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