#how painful is the story when the writer spends three books warning you it does not end happy

[acourtofquestions]

Please for the love of Wyrd tell me Celaena actually gets to say “I love you” to Sam at least once.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Do you any suggestion for Super Sentai?plz

*cracks knuckles*

Well first off, if anyone wanting to get into Super Sentai watched Power Rangers growing up, I’d check out the series whatever season you watched was adapted from to see how things went there in comparison to how they were in the United States. So if you grew up with the original Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, watch Kyoryu Sentai Zyuranger. If you don’t know what the Sentai the season you grew up with is called, I’d check out RangerWiki, which provides a lot of information on both franchises.

I’d also recommend checking out a few episodes of the very first Super Sentai entry, Himitsu Sentai Gorenger. Not all 84 episodes, mind you, but I’d just watch a few to see where Super Sentai got its roots from, because the team football attack gets referenced a lot further down the line. Yes, you read that correctly.

But for individual seasons for beginners, it’s harder for me to answer. Super Sentai has varied aesthetically and tonally across its 45 year run. Some shows are dark and gritty, while others are light-hearted and goofy. Some shows have a vehicle motif, while others use animals for a motif. So the seasons I’m going to talk about will cover all kinds of tones and themes across the years. I also haven’t seen every single entry, so these are the ones I’ve seen that I recommend for beginners.

Denshi Sentai Denziman (1980-1981, 51 Episodes)

Centuries ago, the evil Vader Clan conquered and decimated the Denzi Civilization. In the modern day, the talking dog IC awoke from his slumber when the Vader Clan began their invasion of Earth. So IC recruits five people to become the Denzimen to defend their planet and stop the Vader Clan once and for all.

The first three seasons of Super Sentai were very experimental, but Denziman was where Toei started to get an identity for Sentai down. Not only would the black visors and sculpted mouthpieces become a staple for Sentai’s (and by extension, Power Rangers) suit designs, but this was also the first season to really start a few Sentai traditions. It was the first season to have female villains, the first to use a transformation device for the heroes, the first time the monsters grew to fight the team’s giant robot.

The Denzimen, while not really going through any character development, are still very likable characters, especially Denzi Blue/Daigoro (played by legendary tokusatsu actor Kenji Ohba). The villains are also a lot of fun, a real improvement from the first three villain groups, who were all basically Earth-based terrorist organizations and/or death cults. The Vader Clan is full of villains who are just as entertaining to watch as the heroes, especially Queen Hedrian, played by the late Machiko Soga, who would later go on to play Witch Bandora, the character Rita Repulsa is adapted from in Power Rangers. There’s not that much of an ongoing for most of the series, and it can get pretty goofy at times, but it’s still a really good show.

Choushinsei Flashman (1986-1987, 50 Episodes). 

Five infants are abducted by the Reconstructive Experiment Empire Mess to use as test subjects for experimentation, but are saved by benevolent aliens from the Flash Solar System. They all spend the next twenty years in the system developing their combat skills and special powers until they decide to head back to Earth to fight Mess themselves as the Flashmen, despite the warnings of their alien caretakers.

The 1980s are usually referred to by fans as Super Sentai’s golden age, with a string of great seasons thanks to famed writer Hirohisa Soda. Flashman is no exception. While Denziman tended to have more stand-alone episodes, Flashman is more story-driven. Later on, there’s a really dark plot twist that I don’t want to give away. Admittedly, some of the special effects can be dated to showcase the Flashmen’s powers in addition to stock footage being reused a lot, but the action and camerawork are still fast-paced and rarely do the fight scenes get boring.

The villains are the kind you love to hate, and their actors all give great performances, especially the late Unsho Ishizuka (the Japanese voice of Professor Oak) as Great Emperor La Deus. This is easily one of the darker Super Sentai entries, but if you don’t mind that, I highly recommend it.

Choujuu Sentai Liveman (1988-1989 49 Episodes). 

At an academy for the finest minds in the world, three of the students feel their talents are being wasted on designing a satellite to conduct scientific research. They soon join up with Great Professor Bias, leader of the Armed Brain Army Volt, who takes them all under his wing as his students and generals. Before they leave, they kill two students, leaving their three friends traumatized. Two years later, Volt begins its plan to conquer Earth, but the three friends of the two victims developed their own technology to fight them as the Livemen in the two years since they last saw their former classmates. Bias’ students have developed their own abilities through mutating their bodies, starting a conflict between some of the most intelligent youths in the world while figuring out what Bias’ evil plan is...

Some Sentai fans consider this to be even darker than Flashman at times due to the themes discussed. Unlike earlier seasons, the heroes have a more personal connection to the villains, and act as foils to them in terms of morality. The show also has some surprisingly deep themes at times, deconstructing the harsh standards the Japanese have for education and the effects they can have on people. Seriously, the main villain, Great Professor Bias, sets up a competition for his generals as a way to advance his plans, treating it like a high academic honor. 

This series also has some amazing special effects for the time. This was the first Sentai series to have an animal motif, so they go all out by using one of the most complicated models for his giant robotic lion, a stunning innovation for special effects. It was also the first series to introduce the gimmick of combining two robots, which is a genius marketing tactic when you think about it, motivating kids to buy both robots to combine them. Even putting those technical aspects aside, this is still one of the most iconic Super Sentai seasons, and a must-watch for beginners.

Choujin Sentai Jetman (1991-1992, 51 Episodes)

An elite soldier is chosen for a top-secret military project meant to turn him into the leader of a team of supersoldiers called the Jetmen. After he gets his powers, the satellite base is attacked by the Dimensional War Party Vyram. Not only are the four remaining “Birdonic Waves” meant to empower the rest of the Jetmen scattered across Earth, powering four civilians instead, but the soldier’s fiance is killed in the process. So he has to recruit the rest of the Jetmen and form a competent team to stop the Vyram from conquering their dimension.

A lot of Precure fans view Heartcatch as the best series in the entire franchise, and many Sentai fans view Jetman the same way. It was a huge success in ratings and toy sales, which actually helped to save Super Sentai from cancellation after the disastrous sales and ratings of the previous series, Chikyuu Sentai Fiveman. It also had some elements that made it stand out from earlier Sentai seasons. While I’ve talked about how Marinette was forced to become Guardian against her will while the show doesn’t acknowledge it, this show actually does point out that almost the entire team is a group of civilians with no combat experience. Earlier episodes are not only spent assembling the team, but also training them to better fight the Vyram and pilot their giant robot.

The series introduced a love triangle for three of the Jetmen, and while controversial among fans, was very popular with Japanese mothers, who were rumored to find Gai/Black Condor very attractive and begged Toei to not kill him off. The love triangle, while arguably one of the weakest parts of this show (but still better written than the Love Square), was part of the main theme of the team being more conflicted, showing they weren’t all best friends all the time.

This extended to the Vyram, who also tended to fight with each other over their plans to conquer the Earth. Sure, there was the occasional villain in earlier seasons who tried to overthrow the big bad, but this was the first time we had a whole group of villains trying to one-up each other. The best way to describe the Vyram is if the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia were supervillains who were still competent at their jobs.

The series is also incredibly dark, and is often seen as the darkest Sentai has ever gotten. There’s a lot more violence and blood than usual, and a lot more onscreen deaths that aren’t just limited to the villains. Humans are actively killed or hurt in the crossfire, and it shows just how painful this war is. And because of all of that and many other reasons, this is seen as the peak of Super Sentai. If you have to watch a single Sentai series, watch Jetman.

Ninja Sentai Kakuranger (1994-1995, 53 Episodes)

During Japan’s Sengoku Era, a team of five ninja sealed away the leader of an army of Youkai, rendering their kind powerless. In the present day, one of the few surviving Youkai tricks two bikers, who are actually descendants of two of the ninja in the past, into undoing the seal and giving all of the Youkai their powers back. Another descendant of the ninja recruits them into taking on the legacy of their ancestors to fight the Youkai, becoming the Kakurangers.

The 1990s were when Super Sentai was starting to delve more into fantasy elements rather than just science-fiction, and also started to take on a more light-hearted tone. Kakuranger is no exception. It’s a lot more goofy than the other entries, even using comic book-style graphics during its fight scenes. There’s also a narrator who appears to explain the history of the Youkai of the week, a detail I really like. While this show is still unashamedly goofy, it still gets more serious in the second half, but never loses its comedic moments entirely.

Like with Jetman, Kakuranger shows the reality of drafting two civilians to fight a war against the supernatural, with only one of the first three Kakurangers knowing how to fight. That Kakuranger in question, Tsuruhime/Ninja White, is easily one of the best Sentai heroines of all time. Not only was the first female and non-Red to lead a Sentai team, but she was only fifteen years old while the other Kakurangers were in their twenties. Marinette could learn a lot from her, and no, that’s not an insult. Tsuruhime is a complete badass, and a team-up with Ladybug would be the coolest thing ever.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, watch Kakuranger.

Kyukyu Sentai GoGoV (1999-2000, 50 Episodes)

The demonic children of the Grand Witch Grandiene begin causing natural disasters to bring destruction to Earth in order to revive their mother. In response, five rescue workers who also happen to be siblings are recruited by their estranged father to become a team dedicated to saving lives from the Psyma Family’s actions.

Did anyone ever watch Rescue Heroes as a kid? Imagine that show, but with the intensity turned up to eleven. This show is epic, with amazing action and some of the coolest giant robots in Sentai history. One of their robots is a giant train armed to the teeth with guns. Even putting aside the action, this show does a great job at highlighting all the dedication rescue workers have to their jobs by showing a lot of rescue scenes in addition to having GoGoV fight the Psyma. It even teaches the audience about firefighters from Japan’s Edo Period. There’s really not a lot of shows that explain what rescue workers were like in the past, which shows just how invested this show is in teaching people about rescue workers.

While this wasn’t the first Sentai series to feature a team of siblings (the first being the aforementioned Fiveman), I think it managed to capture the dynamic best. Family is a key theme of the series, with the healthy relationship between GoGoV contrasting with the more toxic environment the Psyma Family has.

This is easily one of the most action-packed Sentai series ever made. It is literally Fire Force twenty years before that anime premiered, and it is AWESOME.

Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger (2004-2005, 50 Episodes)

In the not-too-distant future (Next Sunday, A.D.), the universe has come together to the point where Earth has made contact with several intelligent alien civilizations. However, intergalactic arms dealer Agent Abrella starts to help out the extraterrestrial criminals on Earth, called Alienizers, by providing technology and giant robots to them because he enjoys profiting from crime, and dreams of a world without the police. In response the organization Special Police Dekaranger, or S.P.D., brings together a team of officers to apprehend the Alienizers.

You want to see space cops doing space cop stuff? Then this is the show for you. Admittedly, this isn’t the most story-driven show, but is instead carried by its characters, who go through a lot of development. The Dekarangers have one of the best team dynamics in Sentai history. All of them are very likable characters, and it’s a lot of fun to see them interact. But the best character in the show goes to the Dekarangers’ boss, Doggie Kruger/Dekamaster, a dog alien who becomes a Dekaranger himself, labeling himself The Watchdog of Hell. That has to be the coolest title any superhero has ever had. Dekamaster is another one of the greatest Super Sentai characters ever, taking down a hundred goons in his first battle by himself.

I haven’t even gotten to Agent Abrella, one of the coolest Sentai villains of all time. He’s obsessed with profit and chaos, and he’s easily one of the most sadistic main villains compared to his predecessors. He isn’t some evil emperor who wants to rule the world. He just wants to raise hell and make a quick buck from it. He’s also voiced by Ryusei Nakao, the Japanese voice of Frieza from Dragon Ball Z. That’s another appeal of Sentai, the voice talent. A lot of big-name voice actors have voiced characters, like Mao Ichimichi and Kotono Mitsuishi. Hell, the currently ongoing Kikai Sentai Zenkaiger has Yuki Kaji of Attack on Titan fame voicing one of the main characters.

Dekaranger is easily one of the most popular Sentai seasons out there, as it has a lot of additional material. Not only did the Dekarangers get a theatrically released film like many other seasons before it, they teamed up with two separate Sentai teams, some of them cameoed in the anniversary series Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger, they got a reunion movie ten years after its finale, four of the Dekarangers guest starred in another Sentai series two years after that, Uchu Sentai Kyuranger, which served as a prologue to a team-up with another Toei hero, Uchuu Kenji Gavan, and then that led into the Dekarangers cameoing in another Kyuranger movie meant to be an epilogue to that series.

Yeah, this is why I haven’t talked about the Sentai movies in this post. You don’t have to watch any of these unless you really enjoy Dekaranger, which you should at least check out. It’s slow at times, but it’s still a lot of fun.

Engine Sentai Go-Onger (2008-2009, 50 Episodes)

The Banki Clan Gaiark have traveled from their home dimension of Machine World and chosen Earth as their new home, but they have to pollute the planet to serve as an ideal living space for their kind. In response, sentient animal-themed vehicles called the Engines choose five humans to partner up with, the five humans in question becoming the Go-Ongers.

Unlike most of the shows I talked about, Go-Onger is incredibly goofy, and I love it. The characters are all incredibly likable, both the Go-Ongers and the Engines. While Sentai had touched upon the idea of treating the mecha as sentient beings, this was one of the earliest series to actually have their partners talk, leading to some interesting character dynamics. The villains are also really fun to watch. While they’re about as competent as Team Rocket at times, there are moments where you actually feel bad for them, especially towards the end of the series.

It’s also really funny. Granted, comedy is subjective, so you may not find the same things as funny, but there are a lot of funny moments in this show, all helped by the actors giving amazing performances. Go-Onger can get extremely wacky at times, like in Episode 31. I’m not going to say what happens, you should watch it for yourself.

What makes the humor really work unlike the last attempt at a comedy-focused Sentai, Carranger, it didn’t really feel mean-spirited by portraying the heroes as idiots by claiming to be “parodying” Sentai. Yes, the Go-Ongers can be dumb at times, but they still take their jobs seriously when they’re not goofing around. There’s not really much I can say about Go-Onger other than it being a bunch of dumb fun. If you’re in the mood to start off with something more light-hearted, I’d check it out.

Samurai Sentai Shinkenger (2009-2010, 49 Episodes)

For centuries, generations of samurai have waged a war against a race of demons from the underworld called the Gedoshu. After their leader was temporarily sealed away for several years, the Gedoshu begin another invasion of the surface while trying to flood the Sanzu River, which grows through human misery. In response, the current generation of samurai, the Shiba Clan, assemble to fight the Gedoshu as the Shinkengers.

This was actually one of the first Sentai seasons I ever watched, as my first Power Rangers season was Samurai. And yeah, while Samurai is a really bad adaptation, I’m here to judge Shinkenger on its own. Admittedly, there are a lot of qualities that can be chalked up to cultural differences, like the whole honor code samurai have and certain plotlines you’d see in a jidaigeki film. The Shinkengers themselves are all very likable characters, and you can really relate to their struggles of being forced into this war (again, handled a lot better than what’s going on with Marinette). All of them have different responses to their situation. Some of them dedicate themselves to wholeheartedly following their lord (Takeru/Shinken Red) or being more vocal in their hatred of their duties.

The villains are also really interesting. Sure, the big bad is pretty boring, but the side villains are just so twisted they really steal the show. Takeru/ShinkenRed gets a rival who serves as a perfect foil to him, representing the idea of why one fights. Even the concept of the Gedoushu is pretty terrifying. Demons from another world hellbent on causing misery to flood our world with their water, which I must point out, is deadly to humans. They’re not my favorite villain group, but they’re a close second.

There’s also some clever plot twists that happen late into the series that I don’t want to give away. Sure, you might have a hard time getting used to the Japanese culture at first, but Shinkenger is still a great series.

Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger (2011-2012, 51 Episodes)

The Zangyack Empire invades Earth and because of their army reaching across the universe, they become the greatest threat the planet has ever had. In response, the previous thirty-four Sentai teams unite to fight them. They succeed, but the attack they used to wipe out the battle fleet stripped them of their powers. A few years later, a group of space pirates come to Earth in search of “The Greatest Treasure in the Universe”. While the pirates couldn’t care less about stopping the Zangyack, they still have to deal with them while searching for the treasure, which is somehow connected to the previous thirty-four Sentai teams. Also, the pirates form their own Sentai team, the thirty-fifth Sentai team in particular, the Gokaigers, who have the ability to TRANSFORM INTO ANY OF THE PREVIOUS SENTAI TEAMS.

For Super Sentai’s 35th anniversary, Toei wanted to go big this time. While the previous two anniversary seasons only had movies that paid tribute to Sentai as a whole, this was the first season where the anniversary aspect was in the premise alone. 

The interesting thing is that the series was changed last-minute, and it was totally for the better. See, in March of 2011, Japan’s Tohoku Region was devastated by an earthquake registering at a 9.1 on the Richter scale. To this day, it was the largest earthquake ever recorded in Japan’s history, and that’s not even getting into the tsunami it caused the same day. What does this have to do with Gokaiger? In response to the tragedy, several tokusatsu stars including Super Sentai alumni took to social media to encourage kids to stay positive, and even asked some of Gokaiger’s showrunners if they could reprise their roles in an episode. Originally, there were going to be some cameos from past Sentai heroes, but it would only be limited to the ones whose powers would upgrade the Gokaigers’ giant robot. After this, there were a lot more cameos from Sentai alumni in the latter half of the series. Out of Gokaiger’s 51 episodes, 24 of them were tributes to past seasons. And that’s not even getting into all of the cameos in the movies too.

This was another one of the first Sentai seasons I ever saw, and it really helped me get into the franchise as a whole. It manages to explain things to people who haven’t seen certain seasons, while paying tributes to said seasons and making clever homages older fans will understand. Admittedly, the show does spoil the endings of the older seasons like Liveman and Jetman, so keep that in mind before starting this one.

Even outside of the tributes, the Gokaigers are some of the most memorable characters Super Sentai’s had in recent years. While they aren’t exactly evil, they start off not really interested in protecting Earth and care more about getting the Greatest Treasure in the Universe. The only reason they fight the Zangyack in the first episode was because their lunch was interrupted. A team of anti-heroes in Super Sentai hasn’t really been done before. Even then, there’s an interesting dynamic where some of the Gokaigers have more of a moral conscience than the others. And as the series goes on, they start to care more about protecting the Earth, even if they don’t admit it.

It’s just a really good show, and even if it isn’t your first, I’d check it out.

Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger (2013-2014, 48 Episodes)

When the alien entity known as Deboss invades Earth during the prehistoric era, another bird-like alien named Torin empowers several dinosaurs into the mighty Zyudenryu to fight off the invading force. After a brutal final battle, Deboss was sealed away, but his army of followers was still growing. In response, Torin started to recruit several humans throughout time into the modern day to become the Kyoryugers.

While Gokaiger was the first Sentai I ever watched, Kyoryuger was the first Sentai I watched every week as it aired, so it has a special place in my heart despite its middling reputation. Yeah, Kyoryuger has been criticized for starting the trend of Red Senshi stealing all the screentime, and while that can easily be applied to later entries like Shuriken Sentai Ninninger and Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger (the latter basically made Red and Gold the only ones to pilot the giant robots while the others watched), I don’t think it's as bad as everyone says it is.

There is just an amazing cast of characters here. It’s the first Sentai to be composed of ten rangers (while Dekaranger also had ten, three of them were just one-offs), and it does a really good job at balancing them all out. Yes, Daigo/Kyoryu Red does get a handful of power-ups and can be the focus at times, but the other characters all have their own distinct personalities and are just a blast to watch. I’d honestly recommend watching a few episodes of this show to get an idea on how to do an ensemble cast. If I end up doing the whole “tokusatsu has better toy tie-ins than Miraculous” thing, expect me to talk about how Kyoryuger introduces its new characters and giant robots.

And then there’s the soundtrack. Oh my God, the soundtrack. Sentai tends to have banger songs for their seasons, and Kyoryuger is no exception. “Vamola! Kyoryuger”, “Solid Bullet”, “Kyoryu Gold! Iza!”, “Yuuki Bakuretsu”, “Chou Shinka! Kyoryu Beat”, “Houkou! Bragigas”, and “Senkou no Brave”. So many of these songs are incredibly catchy, and I haven’t listed all of them. The show has a bit of a music motif, so it makes sense for there to be a lot of insert songs.

The one major flaw I have to point out is that you kind of have to watch the theatrical movie (which is only slightly longer than an average episode), in order to understand some of the plotpoints for the season’s endgame, but other than that, it’s still a really good season to start off on.

Mashin Sentai Kiramager (2020-2021, 45 Episodes)

The Dark Empire Yodonheim attacks the planet Crystalia, with the king’s brother betraying him and siding with the enemy. The kingdom’s princess is sent to Earth to recruit five warriors to fight the Empire. The chosen five all possess “Kiramental”, a way of weaponizing their imagination, which they use to defend the Earth’s radiance.

Precure fans might remember this being the season where Cure Star met the Red to promote the latter’s season (actually referring to Cure Star as his sempai), and I can kind of see why. A lot of fans have jokingly compared this season to Precure because of the gemstone motif and focus on creativity, with Juru/Kiramai Red acting like a Pink Cure according to some of the comments I’ve seen in Sentai discussion forums.

This is the most recent season to finish as of this post, and it’s already gotten a lot of praise in terms of writing, characters, story, and managing all of these during the COVID-19 Pandemic and having to adapt to losing five episodes in the process. The characters are very likable, the Red is one of the better ones in recent years with him being more timid compared to the more hotheaded ones, and the villains are also amazing, and some of the best in recent years. Episodes can range from funny to tragic to just plain awesome in terms of writing, with seemingly innocent filler episodes being the source of major bombshells and plot twists. 

Honestly, there’s not much I can really say about this show other than check it out for yourself.

But these are just my recommendations. If you do some research and see a season you like, I’d go for it. If anyone else wants me to do these for Kamen Rider and Ultraman, I’d be happy to.

Sorry this took so long.

[justreadingfics]

It’s a Deal (Chapter 2)

Chapter Summary: You did make a deal.  

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.5k

Warnings:+18 only, smut, sex deprived reader, boytoy!Bucky, mention to break ups, mention to bad sexual experiences, casual sex, opened relationship.

A/N: You guys and all the feedback you’re giving to this story are just my everything. Thank you for your patience, if you follow my stories for a while you all know I’m a slow writer and not even social distancing seems to be changing that. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated. I was going to close the tag list for this series at 70, but you’ve been really amazing, so I’m extending it to 80 spots for now. All I ask of you is, if you’re tagged and liked what you read, please leave me a nice little comment.  Thank you, @lesqui​ 

 Saturday mornings have always been like any other morning to you. Waking up early, making some black coffee and fixing up something quick to eat . Then checking up on your schedule for the day, which more times than you dare to count consisted of working from home and that’s it. Nothing special.  

But this Saturday morning is nothing like the other ones, this morning has actually already passed since you wake up past noon, a lot later than you’re used to, take a long bath with all the pampering accessories you found in your bathroom - something you hadn’t done in a very long time- plaster your face with a moisturizing mask you’ve bought on a late night online shopping spree and has never used, wrap your body in a robe, your hair in a towel and go to the kitchen to make your usual black coffee but also a few chocolate pancakes as a treat to the atypical hunger making your stomach groan loudly.

ThisSaturday is nothing like the other ones because you have the memory, on your mind and your whole body, of three fantastic orgasms you were gifted with the night before. If it was up to you, Bucky Barnes and his sinful tongue would get all the awards in the world.

While you hum a soft tune and flip your pancakes, the night before replays like a movie on your mind, taking small giggles out of you and causing a warm rush to creep up your neck. The man sure knows his game, touching all the right places, playing with your body just perfectly, luring you into a very much needed and longed ecstasy.  On top of that, he was nothing but generous and seemed to get himself off by getting you off and, now that you’re thinking about it, a man acting that way in bed is something entirely new to you.

You have to send Natasha a present, maybe that expensive vodka she’s always drinking…

The memory of your friend quickly fades and the sinful picture of Bucky Barnes’s face between your legs pops back into your mind as you drop the pancakes on a plate and sit by the counter to devour them with your coffee. What a night you had. The whole no strings attached situation makes it even more… enjoyable, you dare say, much more than you thought it would be. There is no dwelling on whether you should text him to say hello, or call him, no need to hold back who you really are or what you really want in favor to make a good impression, nor to think about meeting friends, family, no fear of disappointments from both sides… it was just plain good old sex, which you’ve realized it’s all you need and are looking for.

You hum at the sweet taste of the pancake and take a sip from your coffee. There’s no worries in your mind, no regrets, nothing like that. Except for one thought: the fact you didn’t even get to see his cock. The bulge alone grinding against you was already impressive enough to make your mouth water… Everything was amazing, more than perfect, actually, and left you completely spent and utterly satisfied, more than you’ve been in a long time, if you’re going to be honest with yourself. But now you only get to imagine how it would be if you two had gotten to the whole package, the real deal…

Unless…

You had thought about that night as a one-time occurrence, something to take your edge off and move on, but...  He did propose a deal… And you did take said deal… to call him if you needed anything… You stare dreamily ahead as you take a fork filled with pancake to your mouth and flashes of the feeling of his bulge pressed against your back, grinding on your core take over your senses… it took your breath away then and just the memory is making a number on your lungs.

You sure have a need now.

Glimpsing your phone over the balcony, you reach for it, loving you don’t have to care whether it is too soon or not to do what you’re about to do…but a new message pops up on the screen as soon as you unlock it. Natasha letting you know she was sent away for a mission with Steve Rogers but should go back in a week and wanted to schedule dinner for you to tell her everything… You type her a quick answer, agreeing on dinner, before tapping on the brand new contact of your list, added by Natasha Romanoff herself.

Bucky “Soft Tongue” Barnes.  

You’ll change it. Eventually…

~~~

“So… my place this time, huh?”

The smirk on Bucky’s lips is cocksure enough to make you take a long sip of the beer he offered you, while he lazily leans his elbow on the backrest of his sofa, supporting his head on his hand. You're thankful for the alcohol and for the fact that, this time, he hasn’t gone straight to business. Yes, you’ve been feeling bold and excited in having those kinds of encounters with a - hot as fuck - guy you barely knew. But this is new, and you know you must be careful and gentle to yourself, so it doesn’t blow up in your face eventually. Thankfully, Bucky seems to read the situation just fine since he’s been in cue with your rhythm from the very first moment.  

“Did you have any other plans?” you ask, biting your lower lip and hoping your presence isn’t actually a bother.

“I was happy to see your text.” Even if his answer is kind of vague considering your question, it eases the tension on your shoulders at his wide and comforting smile, “We did make a deal…” His voice is a tone lower as he peeks at you from under his lashes, taking his beer to his lips.

You take in a deep breath as your gaze drops to his lips, “Yes, we did.” You gulp, as your body tightens, feeling the rise of the tension in the air, enhanced by flashes of last night when you two settled said deal. 

His chuckle is a tad dark and laced with mischief and oh, man it makes your skin tingles when he drags his body just an inch closer, his beautiful blue eyes fastened on you.

“Ahm, Bucky… can I ask you something?” You try not to let your voice come out too small, as the heat of his body rolls off to yours and makes your core flutter.

“Sure.”

“How does this work?”  

He frowns as his head tilts a bit sideward, “This what?”

“This… ahm,” you clear your throat, “Deal…  I mean, I’m pretty interested, pretty, pretty interested.” You stress the word and your eyes widen a bit at the honesty slipping out of your lips, but you realize that’s actually how being around Bucky has made you feel, giving his own honesty behavior with you, just like now when he expresses no kind of reaction that would make you feel embarrassed or anything of that nature, so you let yourself continue, “But you must know I’ve got out of a relationship recently. It was really serious …10 years.” You chuckle when he huffs and takes a sip of his beer, “Anyway, I’m not really sure how to handle this.” You gesture between you two, “Should we establish any sort of rules, or something?” You shrug questioningly. Every single movie you saw or book you read where the characters had a deal like that they ended up establishing some rules, you’re not sure if that’s what you’re supposed to do here, but…

“Rules?” His whole face scrunches up, “Let me tell you something, sweetheart,” he lets out a long exhale, “My entire life, all I did was to follow damn rules. Even to this day, I have to follow them all the time in my job, whether is from the fucking government, the pain in my ass which is Stark or Fury and, believe me, even from the giant asshole of my best friend who’s pretty jacked up now but was nothing than a skinny angry ass, like, yesterday… Yeah, you know the punk, don’t you?” He smiles when you hold back a laugh, “It’s all about rules, rules, rules… I have to endure them when it comes to work, but I don’t like them in my personal life.”

He smiles that dazzling smile and you can’t help to offer him a small one, too. You see where he’s coming from. Given what you know of his life, he lived a very strict, military life ever since an early age in the 30’s. You don’t even have to elaborate on what happened next and everything he endured… now he’s part of the damn Avengers… Just like that, you start to get a bit more of Bucky Barnes and why he seems to live his life so lightly and freely now…

“Listen…” he continues, after taking a sip from his beer, “Let’s just have some fun… I loved spending time with you last night, I love that you’re here now and I love even more the prospects of tonight…” He smirks and you gulp down at the promise that comes with it, “I just wanna enjoy our time together, I don’t need rules to do that.” He pauses, as his face turns a bit more serious, differing from the light demeanor he’s been showing so far, “Do you wanna set any rules, though?”

You ponder his question. You did bring the subject up, because that’s what you think you should’ve done, but, now that you think about it, nothing comes to your mind. You kinda love his philosophy. No overthinking, just fun and no rules… “No, actually. I can’t think of anything,’ you decide.

“Great.” He smiles and nods, before his face turns serious again, “There’s one thing I need to clear up, though.” He stops and looks deeply into your eyes, as waiting for your consent before continuing.

“Oh, alright.” You encourage him to elaborate.

“As much as I’m looking forward to getting to know you and spending time with you, there’s absolutely no prospect of this turning into some kind of romantic relationship. See, I like the way I live my life too much and chances are I won’t be exclusive to you,” he says fixing his gaze on yours as if gauging your reaction to what his words, “What I’m saying is if I feel like it, I’ll have sex with other people and I highly encourage you to do the same if that’s something you want. The serum made me immune to any disease, but I’m obviously not against protection,” he adds and you feel your cheeks burning, it still blows you away how comfortably he talks about sex and how blatantly honest he is. You like and are getting used to it, but you’re just not there yet, “We can be friends, or not, we can just fuck our brains out, but we won’t go further than that. I need to know you’re aware and consenting on this, I need to know you’re on the same vibe as mine before we continue… having fun together.” He speaks seriously, but you see the tiny and suggestive curl on his lips when he finishes and waits for your answer.

You let out a small laugh under your breath, “I wouldn’t stress about it… I’m still in love with my boyfriend, to be honest. So, don’t worry about me wanting to turn this into something ahm… romantical.” You wave your hand between the two of you.  

“Uh, ok,” He raises a brow and nods, pondering your response, “We’re cool then?” He checks again.

“We’re cool,” You nod and raise your beer.

He promptly bumps his bottle to yours as you seal your deal with a toast and a shared smile.

“So, still in love with him, huh?” He asks, absentmindedly, after you two take a sip from the beer, “Was it a bad break up?”

“Not really,” you answer, looking down at your finger circling the rim of the bottle, “I just wasn’t expecting it… I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him… it was settled.” You shrug, “And then, nothing was certain anymore. I’m sorry,” you quickly add, shaking your head with a tight smile on your lips. The last thing you want is to talk about Eddie. And you’re pretty sure that’s not what Bucky expects from the night, either.

“Hey.” He hooks his finger under your chin, lifting it up so you look back at him, “No rules remember? We can talk, we’re not sex robots or anything.”

Your head falls back when you laugh, “Alright.” You nod as he smiles at you, “But I don’t really want to talk about my breakup, now.”

He nods back, accepting your position, “Can I ask you something?” He’s the one to talk again after you two drink from the beer, “Last night,” he continues when you give him your consent, “When I went down on you. Was that the first time?”

There he goes again, talking so freely... You don’t feel your cheeks burning this time, though.

“No,” you answer, and he lifts his eyebrows, showing a bit of surprise at the answer, “It was the second, actually…” You’re quick to add, tightening your lips, “That obvious, huh?” You laugh quietly as your shoulders drop a bit.  

Bucky shrugs, “It’s just that you seemed a bit self-conscious about it…” He brings his bottle to his lips, but stops it midair, “At first…” he smirks at you once again and winks.  

You let out a small chuckle, looking down, playing with the almost empty bottle in your hands, “And I was…” You turn your body to face him, folding your legs on his sofa and leaning your arm on his backrest. It might be the alcohol, or just his laid-back and comforting presence that makes you want to share it with him, “You see, I’ve dated Eddie since college and he was my first…you know?” You bit on your lower lip as he nods at you to continue, nothing changing on his expression at the information, “And what happened was that he was never really a fan of that… we tried once, years ago and that was it… I knew he was grossed out by it, so I never asked him again.”

Clearing your throat, you look away, bringing you your beer to your lips to conceal any sign of embarrassment your face might indicate, you can’t believe you just shared that with him, you know how pitiful that sounds and what a turn off that must be. You’re there to have sex and are sharing how unexperienced you are? Not cool.

You feel his eyes fixed on you, and, when your gaze is attracted to his like a magnet, the pity you thought you would see on his face just isn’t there. Instead, it’s something entirely different you catch on his expression and his eyes. Never parting his focus from you, he puts his beer on the center table and reaches for yours, placing it next to his. He drags his body closer, and his smell – no cologne, just his own manly smell with a hint of what must be a fancy shampoo-  fills in your nostrils, making you breathe in deeply the inebriant scent, “You know what came to my mind while I was listening to you?”

The sultry tone in his voice is almost hypnotic as your lips part and your gaze drops to his, “What?” you murmur.

“Last night…” He licks his lips before drawing his lower one between his teeth, “Your taste…” He leans forward, brushing his lips on your earlobe, causing your breath to hitch in your throat, “Your shaky legs around my shoulders…” His flash hand finds your knee before sneaking up your thigh, carrying goosebumps on its way, “And those sinful sounds you made while I had your pussy in my mouth.” He grabs your earlobe in a gentle bite at the same time his wandering hand grabs harshly the flesh of your thigh underneath your dress, pulling a breathy whine out of you.

He drags his lips to yours and the kiss is sensual, slow moves of his tongue against yours as his lips are a soft and breathtaking caress. You realize you would be willing to spend the whole night just like that… kissing him, as your tongue laces around his and he lures you to melt into him… But he seems to have other plans in mind. You can’t help but seek his lips again as he parts them from yours.  

“And this is what thinking about all of that does to me…” Boring his blue, now darker than ever, eyes on yours he grabs your hand from your lap and brings it to the bulge in his pants.

You gasp at the sensation in your hand as he guides your hand with his to brush the firm and large hardness. Everything about the situation is sexy and makes you light in your head and hot in your body: the way he moans as you move your hand, his warm breath slipping from his parted lips and fanning over yours, how his eyes flutter for just a second before fixing on yours again, his scent, his shameless words… 

“Just to think about eating your pussy…the mere thought of it…. Fuck, it turns me on,” he whispers and lets go of your hand, allowing it to move on its own as he lunges at you again, kissing and nibbling your lips a lot harder than the first time

You kiss him back fiercely while keeping your hand on his cock, palming it through his jeans. You already can tell how thick he is and a fluttering sensation bubbles down your lower belly as the desire to feel his cock inside you takes over your senses and makes you weak in your legs.

“Shit, I can’t wait to do that again…” He drags his lips down your collarbone, whispering between kisses and licks on your skin, “But right now, what I want is to feel your pussy around my cock. Is that what you want, too?”

“Oh, yeah,” you promptly answer, eyelashes fluttering shut at the thought as you press your hand harder against his hardness and digs your finger on his loose locks, “I want it… I want this cock so bad.”

“Bedroom,” he announces, swiftly getting up and pulling you with him.

By the time you get to his bedroom, he already has his shirt off and you’re only in your set of black lingerie, discarded clothes and shoes left on the short way from the living room. Peppering kisses down his neck, you unbutton and unzips his jeans.  

“Holy fuck.” It slips out of you in a breath when you look down and takes sight of his cock bobbing between you two as you pull his pants along with his underwear down his legs.

It’s big… and thick… and beautiful, you dare say…"Wow," it slips out of you unannounced as you keep staring down and you hear a chuckle from him, a tad too smug chuckle, because he damn well knows… of course, he does.

As he proceeds to ravish your neck, grabbing two handfuls of your ass through your underwear, you can’t help but wrap your fingers around him. You can’t take your eyes off your hand playing slowly with it, entranced by how thick and hard he is, anticipating the feeling of him inside you as you swipe your thumb over the tip...

“Stop, stop.” The rasped plea takes you out of your reverie as his forehead falls on your shoulder and his hand stops yours, “I’ll come all over your hand if you keep that up,’ he explains, laying a kiss on the crook of your neck.

You chuckle and bring your arms to circle his broad shoulders instead, peppering kisses on his stubbled jaw.

“Let’s go to bed, or this will be over too soon.” You can hear the smile on his lips as he squeezes your ass and steps out of his bunched jeans and underwear, guiding you to his bed.

Through kisses, licks, bites, and wandering hands on each other, he lays you down and positions himself hovering you after unhooking and taking off your bra with the same expertise from the night before. He focuses on your breasts, sucking each one of them with intense hunger before shifting on his knees, leaving your breasts and whole body burning for his touch.

He moves towards the nightstand and opens the drawer to get a condom. The position gives you a prime view of his fully erected cock. The little dark path turning into the well-trimmed little hairs right above it shows you how careful he is with himself and the thought of your tongue running down on it pops into your mind and sparks the electricity running down your inside. On its own will, your hand snakes down your stomach till your clothed mound.   

A particularly loud sigh of you is what catches Bucky’s attention as he rips the package with his teeth. His eyes drop to where your hand rubs you covered pussy and his cock twitches at the vision.

“Shit… yeah, touch yourself….” He breathes, as he rolls off the latex around his cock.

You promptly slide your fingers under your underwear and find out how wet you are. You draw gentle circles on your clit, never taking your eyes off his burly and beautiful figure, the tightness in your core is a crescendo as you catch every little detail of his perfect body and his hooded eyes on you.

Still kneeling on the mattress, he positions himself in front of your opened legs, but just stays there, hypnotized by the spot where you touch yourself, placing his hands on your knees and spreading your legs wider for him, his pupils growing darker and darker with lust.

You sigh and moan at the pleasure brought by your fingers, but the exposed situation you are in and the sight of him staring down so hungrily at your pussy prompts the tight coils flaming inside you. Just a couple of days and you’re finding out a few things you had no idea about yourself. One of them is that you actually love that kind of filthy exposition. It feels wrong and intimate and fucking sexy.  

He grips his cock, giving it a few slow strokes and it’s all a sweet torture that you can’t take anymore.

“Bucky…Please, fuck me.” Your voice comes out laced in a mix of plea and guttural groan you didn’t know you had in you.

Dark eyes flick to yours. “Oh, yeah? Do you want me to fuck you?” he teases, showing no mercy to your desperation.

“Hard…” you correct him, gritting your teeth, “I want you to fuck me hard.”

His eyes widen and his chest moves up when he sucks in a breath. You’re really that eager that you can’t control your words anymore, but you love the effect it has on him. He pulls your fingers from under the lace of your underwear and leans down to bring them to his mouth. Your lips part at the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, his eyes fluttering shut as he moans sucking the two fingers clean. Your taste seems to stir something in him and the world around you spins when big strong hands turn you over roughly.

“On your fours,” he growls. The grasp of his hands on your ass tugs at your core.

You promptly comply, getting yourself in the position he wants you in as he keeps himself behind you. You yelp when he swiftly pulls your underwear down your knees, the lace stretching around them as he spreads your legs. Looking from over your shoulder you watch him cursing under his breath and gripping the base of his impossibly hard cock and guiding it to your slit, coating his hardness with your arousal.

“Holy fuck,” you whisper as the hardness brushes against your clit.

“In a second…” He smirks when his gaze crosses yours.  He leans over and pushes your back down, positioning your ass in the air as you lay your head on his pillow. Bucky grabs your hand and guides it to your pussy.

He doesn’t need to say what he wants you to do as your fingers quickly start working on your clit and he aligns himself with your entrance. He pushes the tip in and it knocks the air out of your lungs as you brace yourself on his pillows with your unoccupied hand, speeding up the finger on your clit.  Bucky groans as he pushes himself in, inch by inch. You’re soaking wet and he doesn’t find much resistance, but it’s been a year for you, so you’re very aware of the stretch on his way in.

“Shit,” you wheeze, loving how full you feel when he’s all his way in, both of his hands grasping your hips tightly.  

“Oh, damn, you feel amazing.” He groans and you clench around him, “Oooo, someone has a praise kink, huh?” A teasing tone in his words.

Do you? You wouldn’t know… all you know is how your whole body and mind respond to having him inside you and how his sultry words make your head dizzy. It’s an aching and floating sensation all at once.  You feel light and heavy and hot and eager for him to move.

Like he’s reading your mind, he starts his pace. His fat cock stretches your walls at every jerk of his hips, increasing in rhythm as it feels easier for him to slide in and out of you. It doesn’t take long before he’s pounding into you, a punishing hold on your hips to keep you steady enough to him. Being the discoverer of your weakness, he punctuates every pound with grunted words of praise, telling how good and wet you feel around his cock. 

He feels good, too. He feels so damn good, his cock brushing and hitting all of the sweetest spots inside you, the sound of skin slapping against skin... Your mind is a fuzz and your head sinks into his pillow, muffling your moans as you just take it, your body moving along with his powerful thrusts. The coil that’s been twisting your lower belly getting tighter and tighter. You want to come on his cock so bad, you press your fingers hard against your sensitive numb.

“Fuck, yeah, work on that clit, I wanna feel you soaking that cock,” Bucky coos, curling an arm around your stomach and, when you notice, you’re on your knees with your back to his chest. Slick skin burns against slick skin as he drags his metal hand over yours on your pussy, guiding your finger in a different direction, making you gasp at the new sensation the subtle shift brings.

“Oh, God.” You can’t and don’t want to hold back anymore as it’s all more than you can handle and the tightness inside your belly washes over your core in sheer ecstasy. Your back arches and your head falls back on his shoulder as you cry out a mindblowing orgasm.

“Shh,” he whispers in your ear, slowing down his pace, “That’s it, oh fuck,” he curses at the feel of your cunt gripping his cock.

Your senses aren’t fully functioning yet when he pulls out, throws you back on the mattress and flips you over, swiftly taking off the underwear that was stretched around your knees. A delicious smile curls your lips at all the manhandling because you want more and he’s giving it to you, driving himself inside you again, lifting your legs with his forearms, resting them over his shoulders and not holding back on the almost inhuman speed as he thrusts his hips.

He leans over, captures your lips and you curl your arms around his neck as he fucks you. Hard. Just like you said you wanted him to. You had no idea you were so flexible but what a way to find out, having the hottest guy you’ve ever met balls deep -really deep - into you while his tongue curls around yours.

Parting his lips from yours he releases your legs and they promptly wrap them around his hips as he supports himself with his forearms on each side of you and arches his back and to allow him to drag his lips to ravish your breasts, which he seems pretty fond of already. You push his thrusts impossibly harder and deeper with your feet as he alternates from sucking one and the other, licking and grazing his teeth around your sensitive nipples, your vision blanking at the light pain mixed with the pleasure he’s giving to you with his mouth and his damn perfect cock inside you. He doesn't give you time to cool down from the last orgasm as your mind freezes, focusing solely on the dazzling sensations in your body.  

“So fucking sexy.” The praise reverberates through your skin and it really seems to be a kink of yours as, joined with the expert roll of his hips, he brings you to another orgasm. A smaller one compared to the first, but powerful enough to make your body shake and to coax a series of moans out of you.

Bucky lets your breast go with a popping sound after a particularly hard suck and shifts back to his knees. 

Still in the daze of your second orgasm, a weak sound leaves your lips through panting breathing as your hips leave the mattress when, pulling your legs straighten up together and keeping them securely against his chest with one arm, he pounds into you until an guttural grunt rolls from his lungs and his hips still. He shoves his hips into yours a couple of times, deep and powerful,, spilling his own pleasure into the condom, before letting your legs loose and pulling out. The sensitivity etches a hiss out of you before his body drops next to yours. 

For a while, all that fills the room is the sound of sharp pants from both of you. In the past year, you came to think to think that maybe sex wasn’t that important to you and that maybe it wouldn’t matter if it happened or not…What a damn fool. 

You do like sex. Love it, actually. And it is fucking amazing and important to you, no doubt of that, you realize while your eyes shut and you allow yourself to drown into the delicious ache that covers your muscles while aftershocks of your orgasms cause occasional spasms all over your body.

“Holy shit.” Bucky’s the first one to speak, still fighting to breathe, “That was-”

“Fucking amazing,” you complete, breathing hard, but with a blissful smile on your lips you tilt your head towards him, “Thank you, Bucky. You have no idea how much I needed this.” You add, too deep in your daze to care whether you sound pathetic or not.

He laughs loudly and the corner of his eyes crinkle with it, “My pleasure, beautiful, my pleasure.”

A few more moments pass with both of you laying there and enjoying the after state of what you just did until the mattress moves when he gets up.

You gather your strength to lift your head enough to watch him walking towards the bathroom, rolling off the condom out of his semi hard cock.

As you’re alone in his bed, that’s when an awkward feeling freezes up your chest in contrast to the heat you’ve surrendered to so far. What the hell are you supposed to do now? Do you leave? Do you stay? Can you take a shower? You could definitely use one… You know he said no rules and you agreed, but some guidance would suit you pretty well right now.  

“Hey,” his voice takes you out of your own mind puzzle, “Your turn.” A soft towel is thrown at your face.

You grab it in your hands and look up at him with a glare. He’s laughing as he walks towards you, still butt naked, and your glare quickly dissipates into a playful one. “The bathroom is all yours now. There is liquid soap, shampoo and other stuff there if you need them,” he offers casually, sitting by the corner of the bed, “I’m starving, Chinese sounds good?”

You sit, too, holding the towel in your hand, “Yeah,” you frown before nodding “Sure, Chinese sounds great, actually.”

“Alrighty, then.” He taps on the mattress and gets up. You gaze falls down to his perky butt cheeks moving as he walks towards the door. He stops by the frame and looks back at you with that mischievous look of his, “Then, I’ll be ready for dessert.” He darts out that sinful tongue of his and runs it over his lips.  

The brief awkward coldness you felt is replaced by a flush of a welcoming heat creeping up your body.

You smirk back at him, “Can’t wait.”  

~~~

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: Jaw$! or How Lena Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Webby (Lena Retrospective Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

Trigger Warning: Part of this review contains discussions of abuse which can’t be avoided but I still want to be senstive to my audience and any trauma they’ve gone through.  Welcome back weblena world to Shadow Into Light: My Lena Sabrewing Retrospective. And Jaw$ is here, long live Jaw$. Tiffany was a shark who bites the law she was in an episode i’m reviewing called Jaw$. 

And it’s the money shark before the storm as next month i’ll be going from two Ducktales reviews a week with the Lena retrospective and the last few episodes.. to three, as i’ll ALSO be covering the Della arc from season 1 in the build up to shadow war. And if your wondering if I expertly planned this to coincide with the finale, to the point the shadow war review and those leading up to it will be on the same week as the finale.... nope. I just got REALLLLY lucky as I already had all of that planned out, and the schedule for the  new episodes happened to synch up perfectly, ending just in time for me to revisit the series start and having Magica’s big in person appearance reviewed a week after we get her backstory in Life and Crimes. Though I am VERY happy it worked out this way as I get to properly celebrate the series end with more ducks than ever, and get to cover the pilot the same month as the finale, all things i’d of loved to do anyway and probably would’ve rejiggered my schedule to do. Point is lot of Ducktales content coming for this blog if you like that so stay tuned, but for now join me won’t you under the cut as we dive into a money bin of gay ducks, shadowy machinations, and Bad PR. 

We open as Lena and Donald awkwardly sit on the couch, waiting for Scrooge and the Kids to get home. Understandably it’s just.. dead silence.Given their a cynical teenager secretly working for and forced to obey a horrifying shadow monster and a 35 year old man who dosen’t like living in this house due to painful memories of his presumed dead sister.. and painful memories of pain in general, you have a huge awkward bowl of chips and “I really don’t want to be here right now”. 

Our heroes return though, and Louie tries to take some of their haul for himself but Scrooge stops that “It goes in the bin not to next of kin. “... Man in a Hurry if you would please. 

Thank you. Man in a Hurry everybody. He has to go now, he’s in a hurry. 

 As you can probably guess I do not like this, as it reminds me WAY too much of Scrooge’s worst “quirk” in the comics: how he’d barely pay his nephews, who are often hard up for cash mind you and one of whom is supporting three children ALONE, take them around the world and reap all the benefit for their hard work. It’s not like he did nothing, he did, but it’s way to exploitive for my tastes and can often sink a story if taken too far. It’s not AS bad... but they all went on the mission they all deserve at least something. I DO get keeping the rarest and most dangerous stuff for himself, as he is bankrolling things and does have two bins and a massive garage to safetly store them. But this just comes off as douchey for this version, who while liable to make mistakes with them, is far more nurturing towards his boys and girls. 

Thankfully this was course corrected next season. While Scrooge’s greed was properly restored.. this sort of treatment wasn’t. “Treasure of the Found Lamp” had him undergo character development and realize simply hoarding his treasures isn’t right or fair, and set up a musuem wing so both duckburg and his descendants can see them and get the stories behind them. And on not getting to take things clearly he’s eithe relaxed or stopped the policy as our heroes do have souveneers from time to time. Not a LOT mind, but little things like Dewey having a giant sword or Scrooge outright giving Louie one of his things show he did soften up. Though Della’s return and likely lack of tolerance for this stupid policy in the first place probably helped a lot, I also like to think he did change a bit and realize it was deeply unfair they didn’t get more than a few treasures of their own. So the writers did realize they kind of went overboard here.  I suspect this was more to setup for the episode’s subplot and to make Scrooge’s karma at the end feel justified. Speaking of which we get the start of said Subplot as Beakley comes in with a money cart and the news the board called. Why they called his house instead of his phone I don’t know, some things slip through the cracks when you running both a billion dollar company an da trillion dollar fiendish organization  for world larceny. I mean they clearly worked themselves so hard the other two apparently died between seasons. That or it was the diet of whiskey, orphan tears and grease in a wine glass both had. Bradford always told them it’d kill them though to his credit he only said I told you so twice at their funeral. 

For once no their not mad Scrooge is spending all the money they use to buy fowl jetskis, but because the Company’s having a bit of a PR nightmare now that Scrooge is back in the adventuring game. And we cut to the beanstalk they just adventured on having tore up a good chunk of the town and destroyed large swaths of it just to sell the point this isn’t their normal old man yells at other old man for spending all me money schitck, but a serious problem. As such they’ve booked him an interview with Roxanne Fetherly to improve his image and the companies. 

Scrooge scoffs at this, baffled why he has bad pr as his adventuring is GOOD for the city in the long run: He pays for any damages it causes, and likely at a cost no less which is a LOT coming from scrooge, and puts most of the money he makes on these adventures back into the city and his company, creating more jobs and better living conditions. He does get a wakeup call via  truly hilarous gag as Launchpad pops his head up to say “Good news mr. mcdee, it missed the orphange!” before getting ready to chainsaw the stalk for him. He quickly realizes MAYBE he needs some PR and agress to the interview. 

 This whole subplot really plays into one of the series main themes, one Frank brought up a few months back: Risk vs Reward. Adventuring is entirely about this, that adventure is dangerous, can cost you a lot as we see with Della and the aftermath of her terrible decision making, and can hurt people.. but it can also help people, bring money to those who need it, free those who are being oppressed and open new worlds to everyone. This subplot distills it down great: Scrooge is right that his adventures do bring in money, and as seen with the first episode brought in clean water and power with no drawbacks and only asked to be paid for it, which is fair given he still has to run machines and likely help relocate any workers whose jobs are now redundant to other parts of the company and retrain them. But it costs people their homes and jobs, not forever but still as long as it takes to construct, tears up roads and puts people in danger. It’s plots like this that make Bradford the perfect final boss for the series: He’s someone who blinds himself to the reward of all this and only sees the risk, and raises valid points even if he himself is deeply wrong. He’s right Scrooge causes a lot of danger and threat to the world.. but wrong in that he dosen’t see it’s all worth it for the good of everyone. 

But enough about future story arcs let’s get back to this one, as Webby excitedly greets Lena and hugs her, realizes she’s not hugging her back then gives her another squeeze anyway after claming to hate hugs when just a LOOK at Webby would tell you that’s false. The two are having a sleepover, Webby’s first ever.. and given Lena’s essentially an Emo Hobo and the closest thing she has to home is that starlight ancient amptheater that’s never properly explained. Seriously ancient ruins near Duckburg dosen’t suprise me, but at least tell me what they are and why Magica chose them. And why Louie hasn’t tried to sell tickets to Dewey boxing a gorilla in them. Or probably a possum I mean their on a budget and gorillas snap necks, but still i’d pay to see that as would we all. 

Point is it’s their first sleepover and naturally Webby’s first bit of smalltalk.. is how tucking in can be used for interogation techniques. I’d be more suprised if earlier this season it hadn’t already been shown Beakly regularly enrolls her daughter in the no murder, unless you really want to, hunger games every year. The fact Webby hasn’t become the bat is only because she hasn’t found a costume that’s the right combintion of pinks and purples to instill pantswetting terror yet. That shit takes time. 

Lena goes to the bathroom.. to talk to Magica who we properly get to meet. She did speak last time, but this ep is the one that properly establishes her personality for the reboot: she has clever plans, tons of power, if sealed currently, and is a genuine threat.. but she’s also a bit of a ham, in love with the old ultra violence and really short sighted in her plans, something we got hints of last time as her best solution to the Beakly Problem was  to just leave her to die and hope scrooge and webby, two people who love solving mysteries and unlocking puzzles, don’t investigate the horrifying death, accident or not, of their only friend and grandmother, and that neither, especially the 12 year old spiraling with grief, would suspect a former spy died. Thoguh in fairness on the spy thing it’s plausable Magica didn’t know that, but still it’s a bad plan. Magica has good ideas but is just so obessed with the brute force way of doing things she forgets the subtle approach works better.. and so far it has well for Lena.  Problem is it’s VERY clear by this point that Lena likes Webby, maybe not romantic styles JUST YET but it’s getting there. Webby on the otherhand has been in love with Lena from the freaking concept art which showed her blushing around her.. and that was in her 87 design.. which they thankfully changed. It’s not terrible but it just dosen’t fit well with this universe. Point is Lena is catching feelings and Magica realizes this and tries to gaslight her telling her she’d never acccept the truth abotu her and so on. As we all know and as we’ll see that’s bullshit but it’s an effective manipulation. We also find out Magica’s plan: she had Lena sneak a jewel into the treasure going into the bin, and it’s going to turn into a monster that will seek out the Number One Dime for them. She also vaugely hints that there’s something Lena needs from Magica. 

Once Lena returns, and Webby let’s her rabbit know the interogation isn’t over, she gives her possible future girlfirend a gift: friendship bracelets! They both put them on and it’s really fucking cute.. and will be both a tangible symbol of hteir friendship and a plot point several times, something I honestly hadn’t thoguht about till now. Lena, put off by the gesture not because she dosen’t aprpciate it because of the crushing guilt of lying to the one person who cares about her under the insucrtions of a sociopath, goes to Webby’s big old corkboard which is always fun to look at.. especially since it’s clearly the ONLY glimpse at Hortense we’re going to get all series. 

We’re not getting Grandma Duck either. Though at least Frank actually regrets that one. But the important part is one of the posts mentoniing Scrooge hates magic, something Webby elaborates on: He hates spells, hexs curses and what not and feels them a shortcut.  From the man who has a garage full of them. 

I do kid as I did realize there’s a valid expliantion for this: Scrooge will use magical items, protection spells that sort of thing.. but he uses them like anything else as needed. He’s too pragmatic to not say, use the jewel of atlantis to give a city clean energy and water he can montizie, or the split sword against FOWL.. but more often than not he just dosen’t need them. He collects them because it’s fun, oftne profitable.. and their simply SAFER in his museum wing, garage and second bin will get to in two weeks. He’s seen time and time again how people misuse magic, forget it has a price, or just rely on it instead of actual skill. He’s also clearly been on the bad end of a LOT of evil sorcerers and soreceresses, especially magica. Magic isn’t inherently bad, which in itself is a BIG message of Lena’s arc, it’s just somethign that’s the OPPPSOITE OF everythign scrooge is: sacrifcing others for power, relying on something besides yourself, distance attacks versus up close and personal phsycial attacks.. it was never going to be for him and tons of bad experinces with it only cemented it. He’s just not so stubborn outside of the santa thing to avoid something if it’s going to net him a profit or come in a pinch. 

So naturally Scrooge has banned any magic books from his house, as he has no use for spellcasting and any he’d need to keep for saftey or history’s sake are likely at the archives, but just as naturally, Webby smuggled one in and wants to try it with Lena ducking it and asking to play some games. I”m sure Huey has a few yugioh decks in his room go bug him. But before they can decide on one, the boys attack for a PILLOW FIGHT.... which is a sweet gesture and them just wanting to hang out, but ends with them all eating the ground and questioning why they thought attacking the duck equilvent of cassandra cain was a good idea. Louie decides to salvage it with a swim.. but since their pool has a boat in it he has a diffrent location in mind: the bin.

So while they head off to get head injuries, Beakly tries to prepare Scrooge as the Media are vultures and looking for the next scandal with public figures and it’s accurate. But given Scrooge’s natural mood is grumpus, this dosen’t go well at all and even a spray bottle dosen’t exactly help.. I mean it is the best method to deal with grumpy old men but it can only do so much. 

At the bin we get a lovely bit as Dewey prepares to dive and his brothers treat it like an olympic one, with both doing commentary, Dewey’s apparently response to if he was worried about brain damage was Nerp, and we get the wonderous national anthem of dewdonia. Just nice as well as lovely to see the brothers just having a crack and enjoying each others company with their own weird injokes but without the injokes feeling as forced as they were in “Beagle Birthday Massacre”. Things take a turn though as we see just what magica created with the stone... a giant shark made of scrooges money who eats that fucker in a single bite.. in this case Dewey. Louie and Huey naturally run off panicked.

So while Huey and Louie gain another scarring memory to tell their therapist when their older, Scrooge begins his interview with Roxanne Fetherly who.. honestly just weirds me out. Not for any personality stuff but because she has green feathers. And it just.. really feels WEIRD. I mean green ducks are a thing in real life.. but it just looks off to have such a pastel color on a duck when the other colors are white or tones meant to invoke real world races, allowing ducks to be black, latino, asian and so on and so on coded. That’s fine and blends in fine.. but with that metaphor the green just really dosen’t fit well at all. It feels like an early decision they made, but decided not to retcon or go with for anyone else which makes it all the more weird. We’re 3 seasons in , almost at the end, and the only other green duck we’ve seen was like that because of magic and the offputting nature of it WORKS for magica. Here I just don’t get it and I never well. But naturally Roxanne starts in on invasive, gotcha questions with no real good answers or time to respond, so fox news level questions, and then asks what part of ireland he’s from. 

Naturally that sets him off so while that rant goes on, literally next time we see him he’s still going on about it, we cut to the girls playing truth or dare.. and given Webby’s first question is about deepest darkest secrets the boys once again save her by running in... to report on the monster she created that just ate their brother. Lena brushes it off but does get them not to go to scrooge claming he’ll throw them to the shark himself. I mean he’s not comics scrooge so he probably woudln’t but their also two scared 11-12 year olds so it works well enough. They just need a way to go after the money shark. Enter launchapd who in the second best bit of the episode, says he sensed his best friend dewey was in danger. Beck’s delivery is what sells it.. and I’m not going to question it. He’s somehow alive despite presumibly living off a diet of spaghett-o’s, barely avoiding a car accident on his best days, and as we’ll find out later believing children in costumes are monsters he summoned when he was 8. The fact he suddenly has spider sense specifically related to people he cares about is honestly less of a surprise than the fact he’s not in heaven crashing God’s Speedboat into God’s Golden Castle with God’s Golden Lion riding shotgun. 

So they do the natural thing and.. steal Donald’s houseboat while he sleeps. He has no more involvement in this episode other than noticing it’s back and not in great condition at the end. I bring this up because this is one of Donalds ONLY apperances this season, and it’s part of the larger more irritating problem that he’s hardly ever used.. despite promoting him as a major part of the series. 

I will talk about this more during the Della arc as i’ts more relevant there, but needless to say it bothers me a lot and not knowing how to ballance it’s massive main cast was a constant struggle for the series even up to the final episodes going on right now. 

So our heroes head out on the bin late at night, where could the Jaw$ be she’s nowhere in sight. So they decide to use other treasure as a lure they either fished out of a bin or out of scrooge’s bathwater. How bathing in coins gets him clean I don’t know and frankly I dont’ think we want the answers to that and the idea of scrooge fully naked is so horrifying I forgot what I was talking about.

Ah yes our heroes are playing bait the money monster and find out it’s a shark, and Lena.. is not okay with that and goes to talk to Magica inside the boat. Magica tells us she has a name, Tiffany. Awww what a lovely name for a money shark. I would of gone with Rags to Bitches, but I may have brain damage.  Lena understandabily does not like the idea of getting eaten by a shark, asked to be informed and while Magica is mad at her for going after the thing, Lena reasonably points out that it was this or Scrooge got involved.  Up top Huey tries catching it with a bit of treasure on a rope.. after not shutting up about shark facts because “Facts comfort me when i’m nervous!” Precious angel. But Huey’s leg gets caught and he and Louie, somehow on the latter get thrown up in the air and chomped. Back bellow Webby has a suggestion: using magic. Lena naturally not wanting to blow her cover or really liking magic period is against it for now. 

Back at the interview, Roxanne brings on a special guest to prove people don’t like scrooge: GLOMGOLD!

Glomgold may create some issues for the subplot and we’ll get to those in due time, but damn if it isn’t always a pleasure to see him. He’s also on good terms with Roxanne... are.. are we sure this is local news and not fox news? Taking the word of a conservative greedy billionare over a progressive one seems like a fox move. Though I might actually watch fox news if glomgold was a commentator.  “I propose a red new deal instead of this blasted green new deal, I throw Scrooge to a tank of sharks connected to a generator, the tank turns red with his blood and that somehow creates power! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT MCDUCK” 

So we get the best bit of the episode as Glomgold tries to complain about his building being destroyed which would be fair... if he hadn’t tried to blow up Scrooge’s bin twice this week, with Glomgold going for THREE.. for threee.. for three... it dosen’t go off but it does get scrooge to say he’s glad the building was destroyed. Which is fair but NOT super great PR.  

Back at the shark things don’t get better as Webby and Lena argue over the use of magic, I mean as much as they can argue Webby just wants to know why she’s so cagey about this while they go with plan “Launchpad crash into it”. Launchpad also gives a hell of a monologue. Good on you bud. As you can see launchpad’s gotten 100% better since his low point in our last episode. That’s because it’s clear the writers had some struggle ballancing his amped up stupidity with actual competence, making him primarily jokey comic relief in the first few episodes and I wouldn’t be shocked if Terror of The Terra Firmians was written before a lot of the later episodes despite airing around the same time. But by mid-season he’s got his much more lovable charactersation of a dangerous moron..l but one who CAN be competent and is genuinely charming due to how much he cares about his friends and his job. They also dialed down the stupid down to an acceptable homer simpson level: still a danger to himself and others but hilariously so. Point is they fixed it and while i’ll complain about mistakes the show made I will give this crew all the credit for course correcting time and time again and actually listening to fan feedback.

So Webby figures they tried the Jaws option and lost the boat and launchpad, time for plan Magic. They hold hands, EEEEEEEEE, and try a spell.. and it clearly starts working but almost works TOO well, as Lena starts glowing first purple.. then blue. Hmmmm... intresteing. Lena breaks it off and Tiffany breaks out of the bin.. just as scrooge says on the news his adventures aren’t dangerous. 

Scrooge naturally goes to face it while Webby wonders why Lena didn’t go for it. To make it a triple Scrooge shows up in time to distract tiffany.. with the number one dime, which as lena found out earlier is on his person rather than at the bin like the public thinks. So while Scrooge puts up a good show.. seriously it’s really awesome and really neat looking, though he also gets VERY upset that people are naturally holding out buckets for the cash shark, which he’s not happy about because well.. he did EARN that money. Most bin money is stuff directly earned by him so fair enough. But while he’s you know, Scrooge Fucking McDuck, and thus puts up a good fight the monster eats him.. and gets the dime stuck in it’s tooth with Magica wanting Lena to grab for it, forgetting that minons, while mildly disposable, aren’t really replaceable when your SOUL’S ATTACHED TO THEM. That’s where Magica’s weakness is. her plans aren’t half bad but as I said, she’s far too bloodthirsty and short sighted. She has better ones than glomgold but ironcially they share the same problem of not thinkign them through. And Magica cares so little for lena she’s blinded to the fact her own personal saftey is tied up in her. 

Lena naturally dives for her future girlfrriend and heads into the belly of the beast. And it’s here her REAL moment of truth is. While the one last episode was noble.. it was also easy enough to brush off internal as pragmatisim. Letting Beakly die would’ve brought too much heat and been too easy to quickly go terrible, while saving her got her off Lena’s trail and gave her free reign of the manner. But here? Webby is about to slip into Tiffany’s stomach and whle she hasn’t digested anyone yet given who made Tiffany with it’s likely just because she hasn’t had enough mass to create chainsaws to carve them all up. It’s the Dime or Webby. Lena’s own freedom or the girl she loves. Nothing good comes from saving Webby.. other than Webby. Other than the one person whose truly loved her. I mean think about it: She was created by magica, abused for a good decade and a half. No one but Magica has had a chance to care about her and as we’ve seen Magica only sees her as a weapon to get back at scrooge and not as a person. Webby was the first person she’s ever made a genuine connection with, that’s been there for her, that loves her unconditionally and woiuld be there for her no matter what. And it’s in that moment Lena realizes she can’t sacrifice her for her own good... that after years of having to be selfish to surivive being chained to that monster... she can’t be this time. No mastter what it costs her.. Webby is priceless. So Lena recites the spell, growing bright blue and blowing up tiffany. Lena gladly hugs webby who reciorpates, awww gaybies, and Launchpad hugs dewey. Awww... what it’s still precious he’s a good surrogate uncle. The wacky kind who sleeps in a van on your lawn. 

So Scrooge is glad.. though it’s here his subplot falls flat. Him getting attacked by the media and getting a compupance by loosing tons of money from tiffany is fine. Evne if he earned it, his lack of care did bring this on him.. hte problem is they take it too far by having all his nemies show up, him unable to say anything and glomgold blatantly doing so just to steal from him. Otherwise the subplot is fine, a bit heavy on scrooge being a dick but it has to to work and puts him in an awkward situation. But this ending just feels to over the top to realy enjoy. And the series does do over the top humor well so I don’t know what happened here. But having a bunch of outright thieves steel his money instad of a bunch of citizens who didn’t know better and deserved it for the damage, feels wrong and it tastes wrong. 

Speaking of feels wrong and tastes wrong we get an INTEINTONAL dose of that as back at the amptheater, Lena and Magica argue about the situation and Magica trying to kill her. Lena tries to walk away but can’t.. phsyically. Magica won’t let her. And this is honestly a very crushing and very well crafted metaphor for how abuse victims sometimes CAN’T escape their abusers. Magica is verbally abusive, treats lena like she’s disposable and constnatly downtalks her self esteem. To Lena magica is nothing but a tool.. but like MANY children caught in horrifcally abusive situations Lena can’t get away. It’s a literal metaphor, an da good one, for how you can’t ALWAYS escape abuse easily, and this especially true for kids who have nowhere to go and hte law on their abusers side more often than not. It’s hard to escape an abusive parent and even harder when they dont’ consider you a person. I thankfully have no personal experince with this but it dosen’t make it any less of a problem nor any less noble of this show to tackle the subject in a frank, if fantastical, way, and a good chunk of Lena’s arc is overcoming this abuse and not letting her abusive past drown her. But for now.. all she can do is agree to do what Magica says till she can hopefully be rid of her. But the light at the end of the tunnel’s coming.. there’s just a whole lotta darkness first. 

Next Time: We take a break from the episodes to cover some Lena related comics for a double feature; The first Spies Like Us has everyones faviorite lesbian ducks go on a spy adventure that was never printed in the us for silly reasons we’lll get to and then the 87 ducktales comic dime after dime which features Lena’s predecessor Minima. 

Later Today: Close Enough Season 2 is here! I”m going to talk about it! Exclimation Points! 

If you liked this review feel free to follow for more. And if you have an episode of Ducktales or another animated show you’d like me to cover just hit me up via my asks or direct messages on here and comission it. And if you’d rather just support me on a monthly basis, head over to my patreon. THE LINK IS RIGHT HERE.  Even a buck a month would help and the more of you that donate the closer we get to my Duckcentric stretch goals. The current closest ones are 15, which would lead to reviews of The Goofy Movies and Treasure of the Lost Lamp, and 20 which would lead both to a review of the Super Ducktales mini series, and monthly darkwing duck reviews! So if you like me talking about ducks and want to bolt some duck reviews to the schedule, even a dollar a month would inch me closer to that goal. Eveyr bit helps. But money or not, it’s been a pleasure and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

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To Be Continued - Part 9

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

The angst that arrived last time is now amplified.

Word count: 2326

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

Months went by in a blur. If you weren’t at your desk slaving over the story, you were sleeping or had finally remembered to eat. You excluded yourself from everything in your world, aside from ensuring Binks had everything he needed to survive, just to finish the story as quickly as you could.

Of course, this was at a rate where you wouldn’t substitute the quality of your words either. Despite your constant heartache and yearning for Brian, this was possibly the best piece of work you had ever written to date. The emotions between Charli and Brian’s hardships felt raw and more relatable than ever. You cried when Charli did, and you felt frustrated alongside Brian. You poured all your emotions into this final story, along with every shred of creativity you possessed.

After ten long months, you were now staring at what felt to be the ending scene of Eternity, and this world. You had completed this part in the trilogy faster than the year each it took for the other two respectively, and it was the longest story out of the three.

Shaking as you reread your final line, you took in a deep breath and nodded. “It’s done. It’s finally done.”

And just as your fingers went to type the usual The End into the document, you froze, realising just what time in your life you had reached now. It wasn’t just the satisfaction of finishing the book, and effectively the series too, that consumed you now.

It was the sheer hope that after all your hard work, you could finally see the man you loved again.

“Brian,” you called out whilst staring at the screen. “Brian!”

Nothing happened, and you hesitated before typing the two words onto the document, peering closely to see if he would change them to the words you had become to love from him.

You wanted your story to be continued now. You craved his arms, his smell, his voice. Living vicariously through Charli over the last ten months has barely satiated your need for Brian. Quite often, you would lay awake for hours in bed at night, thinking of him, talking to him. And when you grew desperate, you left your laptop turned on, with the document open, hoping for a reprieve from this maddening loneliness.

Just as fast as your love had bloomed, it had shrivelled away, grounding you into a pot of despair. You didn’t want to get to the end of this story and find yourself alone for good.

And yet, the minutes went by and Brian still didn’t appear.

Jarringly, you clambered to your feet and stumbled to the kitchen, trying to make yourself a cup of tea to calm your nerves.

Maybe Brian just needed time to wrap up the loose ends on his side. Even with the story now complete, you hadn’t delivered them a life that guaranteed they wouldn’t face hardships along the way again. In fact, you believed that to be Charli and Brian’s strength – love through their battles. And life was just like that. Whilst they were now together with no further opposition from her family or his past, you knew that every couple faced trials and tribulations. Sure, they had their fair share, and you had assured the reader they would be blessed with happiness together, but you wanted them to remain realistic too.

As you sipped on your tea, your mind started to unravel, your eyes glued to the doorway leading towards your office. Every second Brian didn’t come through it, you began to believe in the doubts plaguing you.

There had to be a chance, somewhere in among your writing of this final piece, that Brian truly began to feel the love you penned for him towards Charli. Whilst he was adamant he loved you when he was here, he didn’t resist the progression of your story at all in that aspect.

Did Brian fall in love with Charli properly this time?

Had you done such a good job at convincing him of her worth at his side?

Was he back where he truly belonged?

Your knees shook, and you clasped onto the countertop, putting down your mug hastily as you felt yourself sink towards the tiles. And there you proceeded to clutch at your shirt, sobbing until you felt numb and overwhelmed.

You had finished their world off and now there was a chance that had ended yours with Brian as well.

Days turned into weeks, and you found yourself on autopilot. The grief continued, much did the constant begging at your screen and desperation for his return.

Anger settled in after all your efforts felt as if they had gone to waste, and he had left you alone in this cruel world. You cursed him out, only to be wishing for his return a moment later.

Your mental state was a complete mess, and you didn’t know how to pick up the pieces.

You had been convinced that writing the story was the only way to get back to Brian. You had served your time, poured out the words until there were no more. With the story submitted to Lily, and the editor now finalising the work you had done, it wouldn’t be long until it was sent through the process of publication. Fans of Brian and Charli would be reading about their love story by mid next year.

What about your love story with Brian, however?

No one was going to read about you both. No one, aside from Lily, who had long stopped asking you about where he had gone, knew of it to begin with. To Sungjin, he was a cousin’s friend, and when he contacted you, you had mentioned that Brian had gone back home.

This was never his place to begin with.

Your mother, whilst trying ever so hard to placate your mood swings, couldn’t figure out how to help you, because you couldn’t bring the words up to anyone.

You had fallen in love with a figment of your imagination and his existence in your world was so fleeting, that you wondered if those who met Brian had somehow seen a ghost, or something similar. It would make the most sense to you that he actually hadn’t been here and you had simply been possessed by your muse of him.

Yet you knew he had existed here and couldn’t deny it. The clothes remained that you had bought together, his scent slowly fading away from each garment you held onto. Binks often pushed his way into the spare room and sat in the chair Brian wrote in a small book each evening as you worked.

You hadn’t known of the book’s contents until his departure, finding it in among his belongings when you were searching for ways to ease your pain. When you discovered it, however, it made you crumble.

The words he wrote were all about you.

He documented your dramatic ways, the endearing moments you shared, and the feelings he had for you each day. He spoke of how easily provoked he got over Sungjin and later wondered if he was a better fit for you when he knew he was close to leaving. He wrote down goals, some of which he had already achieved with you, and of the nights where he held you close, whispering sweet nothings into your hair as you drifted off to sleep in his arms.

The book, the only piece of writing of your story together, felt too difficult for you to read often. The words were already cemented in your mind though, reminding you whenever you doubted your love that it existed.

It was the only thing that kept you going.

Sitting at your desk in the middle of the afternoon, you stared at the document for Eternity for some time before you raised your fingers.

And then you began to type.

It wasn’t your first time trying to message Brian and you were certain it wouldn’t be your last. Still, today had been difficult. It was exactly a year from your first meeting with him, the day he had come out of the laptop and you had fainted upon holding his hand. You longed for it to happen all over again, telling him of your pain from spending an entire year knowing of his existence outside of the story. That the happy days you had shared together felt so lost now with all the time apart.

And how much you loved and missed him.

Once done, you stared at the screen, waiting to see the words go away. That was what happened the first time, and you surmised it meant they went to find him. You willed your words to find their owner, clasping your hands together against your chest and praying internally for something to happen.

They remained, the cursor simply flashing at the end of your paragraph, waiting for your next command of the document.

Slamming the laptop screen closed, you shifted back in your chair, reeling from the feeling of being mocked.

“I can’t keep doing this anymore,” you spoke out into the universe, tears coursing down your cheeks. “I’m going mad. Maybe I was mad to begin with.”

Your phone rang then, and you peered at it, wondering who would be calling you right now. Picking it up, you sighed when you saw the name that crossed over the screen.

“Sungjin.”

“I know this sounds weird, but I had this feeling you needed me,” he spoke into the receiver, and you didn’t respond, the tears still streaming down your face. “Do you?”

“Not in the way you hope for,” you managed to say. “I’m sorry.”

“As a friend, Y/N. I long ago accepted that our initial liking of one another had changed when Brian came into your world.”

“You remember him?!” you asked desperately, gripping onto your phone. “Please tell me you remember him!”

“Has he gone somewhere, Y/N?” Sungjin asked, and you stared at your laptop, slowly opening the screen again.

Somehow, when you shut it, the force had been too much. There across the screen was a single crack, and it was enough to unhinge you completely.

“I’m coming over,” Sungjin spoke suddenly, and the line went dead as you looked at the broken computer.

You had destroyed the only chance Brian had left at coming back to you, and it felt so final that when Sungjin arrived, he found you on the floor in your office hysterically crying.

You knew it was wrong, his arms weren’t the ones you had craved all this time. Yet when Sungjin scooped you up and held you firmly against him, you relished in the feeling. He made you feel secure, protected, and this started to relax you. Clinging onto the man, your mind slowly came down from the irrational state it was in, and eventually, your tears stopped.

“You okay?” Sungjin asked, and you shook your head, before nodding. He smiled gently, understanding what you meant and got up.

Your hand shot up to hold onto his. “It’s selfish, but can you stay?”

“I was just going to get you a drink. I think we need to have a talk, don’t you? About that long story of yours.”

Now seated out at the dining table holding an unbearably hot mug within your sensitive hands, Sungjin watched you silently. And then he cleared his throat. “That night never sat well with me.”

“The awkward dinner?” you asked, partially because you knew that was what he referred to, but mostly because you wanted Sungjin to confirm it happened. Whilst you knew Brian had existed, you craved hearing that he had from others now too.

Sungjin nodded, chuckling a little. “You lied about him being a cousin’s friend.”

“There was no bug infestation,” you replied, looking over at Sungjin. “And Brian isn’t a friend of any of my cousins. They don’t know he even exists.”

“Call it part of the job description, but I looked into Brian more. Of course, I didn’t find much in a logical sense. There was no identification or security number. He had no job listing or even existed on the electoral roll.”

You smiled sadly. “No, he wouldn’t have been on any of that.”

“What you don’t know is that I grabbed a sample of his fingerprint that night. I took a napkin he used which had his print on it from the sauce of the pizza. And I ran it through the system. It matched the one of your intruder.”

Blinking with surprise, you leaned across towards the police officer. “It did? You found a match?!”

“I remembered the messages were signed with a B, and that made me curious when you mentioned his name was Brian. And then I came to your house and found him here, which at first, I didn’t understand. But he was there all along, somehow, wasn’t he?”

“He was the intruder.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sungjin wondered, and you bit at your lip. “Because the truth made no sense, right?”

“It’s a long story,” you said out of habit and then cringed when you realised.

Sungjin nodded. “A story you wrote, right?”

“You--”

“I felt compelled to figure the mystery out. I went onto your website and read over the synopsis for Encounter. I found it intriguing the main protagonist was also called Brian Kang. Believe me, I was annoyed at first. I truly thought you had played me and wasted police hours when this man was in your house all along. But your despair was genuine back then, much as it is now. Y/N, I started to read the novel. Brian Kang is the Brian we know, right?”

You nodded, your tears slipping down your cheeks once more. “I sent him back into the story so I could finish it. And now that I have, I think he’s gone for good.”

_________________

Part 10

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

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[brightbeautifulthings]

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

"'What if sometimes there is no choice about what to love? What if the temple comes to Mohammed? What if you just love? without deciding? You just do: you see her and in that instant are lost to sober account-keeping and cannot choose but to love?'"

Year Read: 2014, 2020

Rating: 5/5

Context: It's hard to know where to begin writing a review for this book. I read it for the first time in graduate school in about five weeks (alongside everything else I had to do in grad school, so I don't recommend that), and it basically blew my mind. At the same time, it's hard to imagine tackling it any other way for the first time. Despite its difficulty, there are things obsessive and immersive and, appropriately, even addictive about it. Full immersion might be the only way to read it for the first time, and I obsessed about it for months afterward. Since I'm not on any deadlines, I took it more slowly this time (21 weeks) so I could enjoy the writing and the nuances without the pressure to finish. For my less coherent weekly updates in real time, see my blog posts. Trigger warnings: Everything, everything. Death (on-page), child death, animal death, suicide, suicidal ideation, rape, pedophilia, possible incest, child abuse/abusive households, graphic violence/gore, eye horror, severe injury, drug use, addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, depression, OCD, grief, racism, ableism, transphobia, sexism, inexplicable hostility toward Canadians.

About: If it's difficult to know how to write a review, it's equally hard to describe what Infinite Jest is about. It's about so many things, tennis, addiction, communication (failures), and entertainment among them, but I'll do my best. Beneath all the numerous characters, timelines, and subplots, the main plot is about a film so entertaining that it kills anyone who watches it, robs them of all desire to do anything but watch it until they die, and what a faction of Canadian assassins will do to possess it. The auteur is James Incandenza, a suicide whose son, Hal, is a prodigy at Enfield Tennis Academy. Next door to E.T.A. is Ennet House, a drug rehabilitation center where Don Gately, former thief and Demerol addict, is taking it day by day to stay sober. Though they don't know it, Hal and Gately are connected, and the deadly Entertainment and those who seek it draw their paths closer and closer together.

Thoughts: It's rare to find a book that is actually as smart as it claims to be, but IJ is--certainly much smarter than I am, despite all my attempts to make sense of it. It starts off strong and doesn't let up for several hundred pages, which is a huge achievement all by itself. Wallace excels at writing extremely polished sections that could almost function alone as short stories, and the first chapter is one of my favorites in all fiction. It's reassuring, I think, to start the book off on a strong note, in case we worried we were in for a thousand pages of tedious slog. It can be both, but it's often heartfelt, insightful, and funny as well, and the payoff is well worth the effort. I don’t know how Wallace manages to pack every page with so much meaning. Anybody can put tedious lists in their books or make reading purposely difficult (and I have attitude about writers who do this for no reason), but there’s nothing haphazard about this book, despite its size and varied focus. Everything seems utterly intentional. The conversations are really top-tier; Wallace has a great ear for how people talk, and it's a fascinating look at how communication works and doesn't work.

Thematically, I think the book succeeds on more than any other level, including plot or structure. If we could say this book is "about" anything, we would almost certainly start with the themes and not the plot, which is often secondary to whatever point Wallace is trying to make at the moment. It takes an in-depth looks at things like addiction, depression, loneliness, failed communication, sincerity v. irony, critiques of postmodernism and metafiction (while being very meta itself, at times), and the very specific selfishness of an American culture that insists on freedom even to the point of self-destruction. At times, it feels a little heavy-handed or like it was yanked right out of an intro to philosophy course, but I suppose something in a thousand pages has to be obvious if we're ever going to pick up on it. A lot of these themes resurface in his other work, from "This is Water" and "E Unibus Pluram" to Orin Incandenza's Brief Interview style Q and A (and he would be a perfectly fitting character in that book).

The characters are some of my favorites in literary fiction as well, particularly the Incandenza family and Don Gately, and to a lesser extent Joelle Van Dyne (although Wallace typically doesn’t write female characters very well, and she comes with some issues). Hal and Gately couldn't be more different; Hal excels at everything he's ever done, and Gately has a record that includes accidental homicide on it. Hal is the hero of non-action, since little that happens in the book is engineered by him, while Gately is closer to the more typical hero of action, who defends the undeserving at great cost to himself. Yet their struggles with addiction are similar, and they both manage to be incredibly sympathetic characters. In my opinion, the book is always at its best when we’re with Hal or Gately, but I’m strongly driven by good characters. Despite being dead, James Incandenza's presence is also felt all over the book, from the Entertainment he created to his haunting ETA and sticking beds to the ceiling (probably the weirdest ghost I've ever seen in fiction). He's a tragic character in a book full of tragic characters. The others are too numerous to name, from the other tennis players at ETA and recovering addicts at Enfield, to the various bystanders populating Boston. We get brief glimpses into almost all of them, and while they may not all feel relevant at the time, most are memorable or heart-wrenching or slapstick funny, or all three. It's a book that contains multitudes.

That's not to say it's always on point though, and it isn't. There are a number of very serious problems with representation in this novel, and they're as bad as its detractors claim. A lot of the 90s humor aged very poorly, but that's not an excuse for some of the unabashedly racist depictions of African Americans, the uncharitable descriptions of Steeply's and Poor Tony's cross-dressing, or--however much I love him as a character--the fact that Mario Incandenza’s descriptions are ableist in just about every possible way. Wallace thinks he's capturing "voice" when he's really encouraging harmful stereotypes. The humor of the novel often doesn’t depend at all on these stereotypes and would in fact, be a lot more funny if I wasn’t spending so much energy cringing at it. So many of the little racist and ableist asides could have easily been edited out of the entire novel to make it less offensive. There are also sections where he seems at pains to be as gross as possible for its own sake. There are plenty of things grim or uncomfortable or flat out distasteful about this book, but sometimes the graphic violence kind of jumps out and stabs you in the eye, say, with a railroad spike.

If there are times when I was totally absorbed in the little tragedies of the Incandenza family or Gately's struggles, there are plenty more where it's like pushing something heavy up a hill. No lie, some of it is slogging through tedious minutiae and various experimental writing styles (some more successful and less offensive than others). Wallace has a gift for purposeful tedium; it’s at its peak in The Pale King, but he gives it a nice warm-up round here. The novel is difficult and meant to be, since Wallace maintained that some of the best pleasures are the ones we have to work for, and he's not totally off base. There's something very satisfying about living, for a time, in a book that spans a thousand pages, that demands focus and perseverance, and manages to give back (almost) as much as it takes. The book is always structurally interesting, but it starts to get more complicated toward the end as various characters and plots begin to almost slide into one another. I forgot how frustrating it was to near the end and realize--again--that it wasn't going to wrap up with any kind of satisfaction; the various plots slide, but they don’t meet. I thought if I paid closer attention on a second read that I would pick up more of the plot things I’d missed on my first, but I think the problem is that those answers simply aren’t to be found in the actual text. Of course, they can point us toward various conclusions, and the novel certainly encourages us to speculate and make connections, but I don’t think the actual answers are there.

That brings me to some of my final thoughts, for now. There's no doubt that this is a hugely successful book, and I believe it accomplished exactly what Wallace meant it to do. He jokingly referred to it as a failed entertainment, much the way Jim considered his lethal Entertainment a failure, but I have the sense that Wallace, unlike Jim, failed on purpose. The book purposely pays more attention to structure and theme than it does to plot or character, yet the plot and characters are hugely compelling for what we see of them. Imagine the book it could have been if he had paid equal attention to all of them. Wallace attempted to create a book that people wouldn't want to stop reading. Reaching the end certainly encourages us to begin again, as the first chapter is actually the last in chronology, but that trick only works the first time. By my second read, I realized that starting over wouldn't help me fill in any of those blanks or answer any of my questions, and I was content to let it go. On the one hand, IJ depends upon its structure to tell the story it's telling. On the other, think of the book it could have been if it spent more time telling a story and developing its characters and less time belaboring a point. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and the tragedy is that I think it could have been even better.

[bigbadredpanda]

Any recs for Lofter fics for either SVSSS or MDZS??? :)

Oooh I do indeed, thank you for asking! There is a trove of excellent fics in the Chinese fandom but I have little opportunity to gush about them! Be forewarned that I’m all about Wangxian ^^'

My selection as you will see leans heavily towards my favourite writer in the fandom, 夜长梦长, I’ve been reading fervently every single word they wrote (they're a prolific writer with 80+ fics) and I can’t praise them enough. The characterisation is excellent and I absolutely adore the atmospheric quality of their writing, it’s so elegantly evocative as if they were painting a picture ;_; I’ve been granted the privilege of translating one of their fics that can read it here.

I’ll list some of the fics that made it to the top of my bookmark list. I’ve tried to choose ten that were diverse enough in theme and length but if you’re looking for something specific in like a particular AU (college, soulmates, emperor and general, mermaid, fallen dragons, etc...), I can perhaps give a more tailored recommendation ;)

(There is some smut in there but it can be easily skipped since it will redirect you elsewhere. Oh and since lofter doesn’t have the same tags/warning system as ao3, let me know if you need more details on the content of a fic before reading.)

Emotional roller-coaster

依然在 by 夜长梦长, post-canon, amnesia, explicit, 50k. During a night hunt with the Gusu Lan Sect disciples, Lan Wangji sustains a serious injury while shielding Wei Wuxian. Though he recovers, he ends up losing part of his memories. Waking up with no recollection of what happened after slaying the Tortoise of Carnage, he finds a stranger in the jingshi who claims to be his cultivation partner.

食衣住行 series (雾里看花, 含光君的手做不到的事, 静室改造计划, 杀死一只绣眼鸟) by ikerestrella, post-canon, 51k. Wangxian as two newly-weds coming to terms with their past, making new memories together, finding joy in the ordinary and in each other.

谁寄云端 by 夜长梦长, canon divergent, a/b/o AU, child OC, explicit, 156k. Two timelines intertwined. In the past, alpha!Wei Wuxian begins to experience heat-like symptoms after the loss of his golden core. In the present, Wei Wuxian is reborn and reunites with Lan Wangji. Among the Gusu Lan Sect disciples also present, there is a young teenager who seems to be particularly close to Lan Wangji.

你好，请问你也是一个傻瓜三明治吗？  by 夜长梦长, modern AU, explicit, 50k. Three years ago, Wei Wuxian broke up with Lan Wangji due to a misunderstanding. Their paths cross again when Lan Wangji books Wei Wuxian’s high-end restaurant for his(?) child’s birthday.

Heartwarming

含光君的食谱 by 夜长梦长, post-canon, explicit, 17k. Hanguang-Jun’s cookbook or five times Lan Wangji fed Wei Wuxian and one time Wei Wuxian cooked for him in return. Sweet and spicy.

染疾 by yilingdiazu, post-canon, 10k. Lan Wangji unexpectedly falls ill and Wei Wuxian steps up to take on his Sect responsibilities and fill his role as a teacher. He ends up surpassing everyone’s expectations.

蓝忘机(婚后)的一天 by juexixi, post-canon, pure fluff, humorous, 1k. Hanguang-Jun’s diary: a day with Wei Ying is a perfect day.

Bittersweet

故人眸 by 夜长梦长, canon divergent, soulmate AU inspired by Wangxian audio drama MV, 3k. Some people only see in black and white until they meet their soulmate. Lan Wangji’s world burst in colours on a moonlit night in the Cloud Recesses and years later, his back still throbbing in excruciating pain, it faded back to grey.

渡劫（上/下）by sideshow-s, canon divergent with a “Your Name”-inspired twist, 16k. Young Lan Wangji sometimes dreams of being a regular person, not a cultivator, doing farm work on a barren mountain. He’s not himself in the dream, he inhabits the body of a stranger and though it belongs to a young man, it aches and there’s a biting cold where a golden core should be located. In another time, Yiling Laozu Wei Wuxian knows the siege of Burial mounds forthcoming and his days numbered. He finds solace in carefree dreams of the Cloud Recesses, of being Lan Wangji before he met Wei Wuxian.

Soul-crushing

两只小蜜蜂 by ikerestrella, spy AU, explicit, 67k. In a merciless world in which those belonging to upper ranks of society reign supreme, Wei Wuxian is a spy who comes from a commoner background. After an operation going terribly wrong, Wei Wuxian is left grieviously wounded and is presumed to be dead while he spends a year recovering in a small hamlet safely hidden away. With A-Qing, a young orphan girl that has grown attached to him, he tends to his vegetable patch and his beehives. However, when he is called back to action, he does not hesitate to leave his quiet cottage behind him and sets out to meet an old acquaintance of his, Lan Wangji, unaware that he will have to unravel a web of terrible truths...

I’m terrible at summaries but seriously, I needed a lie-down and a good cry after that one. The story warms your heart and then rips it from your chest to stomp on it under your eyes, all you can do is keep reading until the end in a state of stunned numbness. 10/10 would recommend but mind the author’s warning when your near the conclusion.

Anyway ikerestrella’s writing is so riveting, there’s a sort of gentle melancholy pervading it, soft but also wistful at times... Also, sideshow-s sure knows how to deliver lines that pack a punch. Besides the writers from the aforementioned fics, I also recommend 正襟危坐的炕, 交柯 and 妍孤城.

That’s all from me, I’d be interested to hear what you thought of these fics once you read them! \o/

[licenselesswriter]

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 41, 44. And if I could send more, I would.

Inspiration and Reading Asks:

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction? Started reading when I was 12, started writing it, when I was 14, so reading, 19 years ago, and writing 17 years ago.

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both? I’m a 33.3% reader, 33.3% WIP machine, a 33.4% writer, and 100% mess, I usually spend my time doing an absurd amount of WIP that comes out of thin air, like, I can be eating an apple, boom, Bori WIP, a cup of coffee? Boom, Roro WIP, breathing? Boom, Lucaya WIP (that last one happens the most)

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do? It’s called Unfaithful (EN), it’s on fanfiction.net, and honestly, it’s so well written, that I had nausea 3 times while reading it, the pain was so palpable that I felt ill from it.

4. Link your three favorite fics right now. Right now, and in order 1 - Unfaithful (EN)  2 - Twenty Nights  3 - Perfect 

6. How do you find a new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction? Fanfiction or AO3, and have an excel doc with my favorite ships, then I go to the random number generator, putting 1 as the minimum and maximum the number of the last ship I added to the list, then hit random, and read about that ship, keep things fresh.

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics? Both.

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like? When they are on Tumblr, a few times.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community. I’m sorry, but I don’t know if they have Tumblr, so, amirmitchell, snowdrifts, and Onde Tu Esteves

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for? Fandom: Game of Thrones, love all those modern universe AU I have to say. Pairing: Lucaya (Not a surprise) Character: Lucas Friar, Portgas D. Ace, Roronoa Zoro, or Prince Zuko.

Fanfiction Writing Asks:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles? Coffee, food, and usually, Spotify, all that, sometimes, make my brain work into having titles about the things I want to write.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic? I do outlines, in 5 stages, so a pretty big one. 1 - I write in my notebook, what I want to write, like a general idea. 2 - Post it on my walls and door, to give the story some structure. 3 - Notebook outline the arch of the story. 4 - Outline every chapter on word. 5 - Reduce that chapter into mini arches to write faster.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not? I do (now), I usually don’t post anything that is less than 2900 words, Why? because we must not forget that writers not only write for people in the fandom, they mainly write for themselves, and I love to read something among that word count because that’s long enough to keep me on the hook.

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching? I do research for my fics, how deep? I can give indications for divorce paperwork in the state of New York, even if you want or not to go scorch the earth with the “fault” rule, I can give an appropriate value to an apartment or a house in New York, Texas, Nashville, and San Francisco, and I can do taxes on those states too, and I know more about how high school classes work in the US than in my country, even when I went to those classes, and I’m from Santiago, Chile, you know, in South America, like, the last country of South America

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback? I don’t, once I finish writing something, I run away, and watch anime for a few hours, or work (Yeah, sometimes I write on my lunch hour)

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie? I do apologize to “The Games we Play” I have no idea how I outlined your 26 chapters, but I’m still on chapter 2, and I’m sorry.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)? Sometimes I do because sometimes, I write things wrong.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? That happiness I get when I’m in the Zone, and I write something that makes me say “Fuck, that was good”

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? I call it “The Deep White”, also known as writer’s block.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write? I don’t write it anymore, because I was banned from a forum for writing it, but I love to write a bad ending, like “Killing the main character that I make you love for 30 chapters in the end” ending. I’m evil, I know, sue me.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write? The “Good girl trying to change the bad boy,” I hate, apologies, I DESPISE that trope, it’s not cool, first, to be with someone abusive, and second, to try to change someone because you think you’re so almighty that you will change him (or her)  because of love, bs, I SAID BS.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist. I do, and of course, it’s named “Writing Shiet” because my brain can only process decent titles for fics (Says the guy who once named a fic “No Title”) Here’s the link 

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing? Anime and Manga.

27. Do you like to give your readers some warning of what might be coming or just slap them in the face with content at random? I don’t usually do it, but when I do it, I do it cryptic, like “You might be surprised, but this, I called in the beginning.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)? I ignore it, If I can ignore good advice, ignore something that gives me more stress it’s an easy cake.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it? I did but didn’t submit, I wrote for 2019 fictoberfest on Tumblr, but never send a shit, I did enjoy it tho

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words. "Well, we're still not in Texas," he says, implying something not PG-13 at all. "My God, in what did I turn you?" Maya teases him before getting up and grab his hand, pulling him up. Lucas grins at her, "On," he replies, making Maya flirty hit his chest

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones? I love writing Lucas and Maya, and honestly don’t know if it helps me or not LOL.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from? 1 - From November to June CH3 A few hours later, Maya heard a knock on her door. She takes a peek through the magic eye on her door and saw Lucas. She grabs her phone and fastly texts him. She was able to hear the 'ding' of his phone, and spying through the magic eye she saw his reaction. "Ok, first of all, I'm not that, second, my mother is not that, and third, I'm not gonna put that there, that's fucking gross, and probably deadly if you consider the size of my hands." he defends himself. 2 - Ten Duel Commandments CH2 Maya smiles at him, "Since you're all Texan cowboy goody-good boy, I imagine you would relate more with the honorable Lord Stark," she teases him. "Says the woman who read three books in a row and texts me at four in the morning," he replies before pulling out his phone, "R+L=J," he teases her, reading her text. "That's private, asshole," Maya recriminates him. 3 - The One Who Stayed CH18 "Then, I have less... GET OFF ME FUCKER!" Maya screamed, punching the person who grabbed her arm, "Holy shit, Lucas." she says, looking at the person she just hit. "Noted, never approach to you by surprise." Lucas says on the floor, "Well, this makes me feel more confident about you being here alone." he says before start laughing.

33. What do you like writing better: one-shots or multi-chapter stuff? Multi-chapter, unless, it’s wedding fics because I love weddings.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is? None.

35. How much has writing fic changed your life? Not much, but has made me happier.

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of? The Glee Project Fandom.

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write. "Shawn called him, and he assures him that if you try something inappropriate, he has a shotgun," she adds, making Lucas's face go pale. "Well, guess like father, like son," he comments, making Maya show unexpected interest in his words.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)? As I explained in the outline question, pretty tame if we count that I have my outline process numbered LOL.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? That I try to make it real, I try to make people feel something when they read.

41. What’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on Tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)? Tumblr? The One Who Stayed Fanfiction.net? Ten Duel Commandments

44. Rant about something writing-related. Please, let’s stop glorifying the “Bad Boy” character, he’s an asshole, allow me to explain, Bakugo, fucking asshole, he’s just a bully with an oversized ego, no, he’s not a tsundere, no, it’s not cute, that shit is abusive, and it really makes me want to punch people in their nose when the romanticize that bullshit.

Done

(Told ya I was bored)

[sleepychihuahua]

MCs as Ayakashi Suitor Descendants

WARNING: Some spoilers ahead.

Ayakashi RR is it’s own universe separate from the Love 365 games, but what if it wasn’t? Ignoring EITM (since the history and rules of their yōkai are so different), maybe some of the MCs are descended from the Ayakashi suitors?

So far, I’ve only finished Koga and currently somewhere halfway with Ginnojo, but from what I do know about the suitors, I imagine that for the Dawn Faction:

Ginnojo and MPDCTY MC

Koga and MFW MC

Kuya and SITS MC

Yura and FILA MC

Aoi and IYAT MC

Ginnojo and MPDCTY MC

Ginnojo reminds me of the MPDCTY MC. I only played Kimura’s stories, but from what I gathered, MPDCTY MC’s main traits are: she’s a big eater, a Judo black belt, and has a strong sense of justice.

Mizuchi dragons seem to be one of the longer-living ayakashi since Ginnojo is apparently 54 and still looks young, so he could potentially be alive when MPDCTY MC was born and growing up.

He’s most likely a grandpa. The game takes place during the Taisho Period (1912-26) so he could be a great-grandpa, but he’s so shy around women. If he doesn’t end up with Futaba/ARR MC, then it would take a while for him to interact with another woman and start a family with her.

He trained MC how to fight and use her water powers. Sparring is normal and their training room/backyard normally floods from the water that they fought with.

She could never beat him.

They probably caused the family grief with how much they eat. Imagine the food budget. They probably eat extra large pork cutlet curry and beef bowls at least two/three times a day.

Ginnojo would read little MC his favorite books after meal times and tell her about the Shinsengumi and their convictions. These stories and Ginnojo’s love for his country were what influenced her to become a detective.

She becomes a Shinsengumj geek, and she and little Kiyonori became Shinsengumi BFFs. Grandpa Ginnojo is highly uncomfortable when they would team up against him to hear stories that he already told 567 times.

Ginnojo is always flustered when MC gets crushes and tells him about it. But he’s also there to kick ass if anyone makes her cry.

Koga and MFW MC

They like to drink.

Honestly, that’s my biggest argument. I only played Yamato’s stories (can’t bring myself to cheat on him with the other guys even though I love Ren and Saeki’s characters...) so I don’t know how different MFW MC is in other routes.

But MFW MC’s funniest character trait is her love of shochu.

Koga mentioned that only few Ayakashi have long lifespans and in his route, he has an illness known as the “carnage” that some Oni Ogre have. Koga’s probably dead by the time MFW MC was born.

If there was a cure for the “carnage” and he’s still alive, he would drink with MC once she was of legal age. The two would have a Sake vs Shochu argument every time.

Koga’s probably a stubborn, old man. He can’t handle not moving around and doing work even when he should be resting. And he feels embarrassed when his granddaughter takes care of him. But MFW MC is just as stubborn and cooks for him, does chores that he can’t do, and makes sure he doesn’t overwork himself.

That was how she developed wife-skills

MC got his kind and strong nature from him. She’s willing to help others, although she didn’t inherit his natural entrepreneurship skills. Not to say she’s an idiot. She probably took business as her major because she was exposed to it. Taking a page from the PARTY version, MFW MC opens up a flower arranging business

Kuya and SITS MC

There are two types of writers: ones that actually write and publish things and ones that don’t and just keep the ideas in their heads.

Like Koga, Kuya is most likely dead or just very, very old when SITS MC was born.

I haven’t even unlocked Kuya’s route yet, but I found the contrast and similarities between him and SITS MC kinda funny.

SITS MC daydreams. A lot. It’s how she writes.

And then Kuya is here:

If Kuya’s alive when SITS MC was little, they probably took naps together under the shade of the mikan tree in their backyard with Kuya using one of his wings as a protective blanket over her.

They’d also go to the mountains where no one would see them and fly around to stretch their wings.

I don’t know if Kuya actually starts writing stories during his route, but if he does, he would tell little MC bedtime stories...

...then proceeds to fall asleep halfway through before MC does.

He’s an old man now, so he sleeps much more often. MC doesn’t mind and finishes the stories for him so she could tell it to him before his nap times.

Watching movies became normal since they don’t have to waste energy talking and can instead sit on the couch and focus on the screen until one falls asleep and the other daydreams scenarios.

SITS MC inherited her workaholic tendencies from Kuya’s kid/her father, who was taught by Kuya’s wife to work hard. That’s why she can handle working as an assistant manager and lyricist for Revance.

The band would find her napping with Little Yamada under the tree in the yard in a regular basis when she hits writer’s block. Poor girl would wake up to Takashi’s monster mode every time.

Yura and FILA MC

Sweets

Haven’t played a full FILA route yet but I’ve read reviews and read the prologue so I kinda have a general idea of the FILA MC.

If Yura didn’t end up with Futaba, he ended up with a confectioner. In this case, Yura is probably FILA MC’s father. He is already 1000+ years old, so another handful of decades probably wouldn’t mean much to him. It took a while for him to find his true love without being blinded by his love of sugar.

Father, grandfather, or great-grandfather, Yura’s alive when FILA MC was growing up. He doted on her and would always take her out to eat cakes, so he when she decided to become a pastry chef, he was happy.

She would always have Yura taste test her desserts. The two were inseparable and practically lived in the kitchen.

Ever since Aoi made that cake, Yura was fascinated with hybrid desserts a d new food combinations.

FILA MC tries to add sweet-bean jelly to almost everything and makes huge batches for Yura’s birthday. She loves seeing the happy look in her father’s face.

She even makes desserts with a bit of spice for her Uncle Gaku since she loves him just as equally and as thanks for always helping pay for the ingredients she needs.

Outside of sweets, Yura would encourage small animals to their backyard. Little FILA MC would play with them almost every day.

If Yura was freed from his curse, he would play his flute for her (sometimes with Gaku on drums) and teach her how to play the instrument so they could have a duet.

Aoi and IYAT MC

Art runs in the veins.

IYAT MC grew up with Aoi’s paintings and with her powers as a Satori, she can feel his emotions and thoughts for each one.

Aoi’s probably still alive since he’s 16 during the story, so he’s most likely to be a grandpa.

IYAT loves watching him paint. Her favorites are the portraits of his loved ones and she always feels warm and loved when he paints her.

The old paintings of his wife and kids in their old homes were what inspired IYAT MC to be an interior designer. She wanted to create that warmth she saw in his paintings.

She learned to paint by imitating him and they would often spend a whole day together just going out in nature to paint.

IYAT MC often painted her three childhood friends and would do commissions for them.

Aoi made sure that his kids had good work ethic he doesn’t want any deadbeats like that tengu so he taught IYAT MC as well to not be lazy. Recipes he learned from Raccord was passed down to her.

Aoi taught IYAT MC to make sure to not use her powers to invade privacy unless necessary, but also to not become bitter towards his powers like he was.

She didn’t use her powers on Koichi until she saw him with his mistress, which made her depressed. She couldn’t help but think that if she had read his heart earlier, she wouldn’t be feeling the pain of being cheated on.

But if following Koichi’s route, it was her powers that let her forgive Koichi when she saw how he was changing and truly learning to love her. She stayed with him because she saw that there was a part of his heart that thought he would grow to love her because he wouldn’t let go of her as a baby.

IYAT MC designed Aoi’s and her grandmother’s new living room. She went all out to make sure her beloved grandparents will be comfortable and happy. Aoi can always sense her love for them because of it and was embarrassed but happy the first time he stepped inside.

And that’s it for the Dawn Faction! I don’t really have any ideas for the other suitors since they’re not out yet and I haven’t read all of the other Voltage stories. I have a vague idea for Kagemaru and Toichiro but not enough to write about. Maybe once I read more.

Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you guys liked it!

[onemustalwaysbecarefulofbooks]

Kingdom of Ash Review/Discussion

It only took me a solid month, but it’s here. II was so all over the place with everything that anything earlier than that would have been completely incoherent. I finally managed to get all of my thoughts down in writing. Spoilers for the whole entire book ahead, you have been warned!

I guess I should start this review off by stating just how much this series means to me. I debated even putting anything like this in here because I feel like it’s almost obligatory and super cliche and basic. Regardless, it really is true. Without boring you all and going into too much detail, I found this series at a time when I was really struggling to find courage over a big hurdle I was trying to take in my life. At the time, only the first three were out. I fell in love with Throne of Glass and Crown of Midnight sent me to the depths of emotional roller coaster hell and ripped my heart out before stomping it into a million pieces. Heir of Fire was a turning point for me, a reading experience I will never forget because of how special it was. I remember struggling to get through that book like I haven’t with any other. Everything was misery and darkness, and I actually debated looking up spoilers to see if it was worth continuing (which I never NEVER do). The pay off for actually finishing it though, was rewarding like no other had been. Heir of Fire seems to be really special for the entire fandom, so I’m sure I really don’t need to explain. The journey Aelin goes through, the person she comes out as at the end, her courage and light and optimism were awe-inspiring to say the least, and spoke to me at time when I needed it. That book made me take a look at the way I reacted to things in my own life and make the deliberate choice to face them in a new way. It made the whole world seem better and brighter and I still think of it to this day and remember that feeling of reading it for the first time.

Fast forward to the release of this book. In a strange twist of fate, I find myself once again struggling with very similar feelings over something different. The odds this time seemed insurmountable, like I wouldn't be able to overcome it, no matter what. And in the midst of all of this, this series comes back into my life. I do not think it was coincidence that this last book was released when it was. When I was faced with these two giant obstacles in my life, these books were brought into it to help me overcome them. Other than reading the others in the series when they were released, I had not truly delved back into this world since my initial read of the series. I made the decision to start with The Assassin’s Blade and re-read the entire series (including Tower of Dawn, because I still hadn’t read it yet) leading up to Kingdom of Ash’s release. I do not think it was coincidence that that this series was brought back into my life when I was going through something so similar. I’m still dealing with things on a day-to-day basis but the message and the characters from this story have helped me tremendously. They mean so much to me and I will always be grateful that they were brought into my life. They will always be books that have an extremely special place in my heart.

Now, some of you reading this might be slightly confused, because just because all of this up there ^^^ is true, that does not mean I have not had my issues and complaints about this series up to this point! It feels so funny to wax poetic about these books and then talk about the things I didn’t like about them. They are not perfect and not without flaws, but that still doesn’t erase what they meant to me and how they helped me.

Some of the issues I had with the series were ones that others probably had and some were not. I never cared about the “all white/all cis” things. I am ALL for diversity in books, but I am also all for letting authors write what they want to write. If someone has a story in their mind, they should be able to tell it the way they envision it. Encouraging someone to think beyond what their normal horizon was and think critically about things like this is PERFECTLY fine. But a lot of what I saw is, “Sarah’s a horrible author because all her characters are white”. “Sarah’s a horrible author because all her characters are straight”. I don’t agree with that and don’t think it’s fair. I’m sure a lot of people probably have counterarguments to that but I just think we should let authors write what they want to write. There are plenty of authors out there that write about things I don’t like--so I simply choose not to read them. I don’t rage and demand that this author change their ways to meet my needs. I just find someone who does! Basically, trying to force authors into a mold takes away the genuineness of their work, in my opinion, no matter what you’re trying to force them in TO.

The issues I had stemmed from the fact that Sarah couldn’t seem to make up her mind on what story she wanted to tell. Did she want to tell the story of an assassin that fell in love with a prince that she inspired to stand up to his father? An assassin who fell in love with a closed off and reserved captain of the guard who finally took a stance for her? A fae prince? Every time I thought I had the direction the story was going figured out, she’d flip everything on it’s head and it was frustrating to me. I didn’t enjoy it in the way most people like plot twists and stories that aren’t predictable and keep them guessing. I also didn’t like the way certain characters could be held on a pedestal in one book and basically Aelin (and Feyre, but that’s a rant for another time)’s favorite person and then in the next one, once we had moved on to something else, all these personality flaws that had never been an issue in the past were put front and center, making them pale in comparison to whoever she was on to now. I’m sure you’ve heard this argument before too--that Sarah tries to force us into liking the new love interest. There’s no way I can say I don’t think this happens with her books. I’ve got too much evidence built up against it. I’ve made my peace with it now, however, and given the way everything turned out in this book, I can confidently say that everything was for the best. I’ll never really like this about SJM’s work, but it’s not anything Earth shattering anymore. . .at least I know to expect it! ;)

God, to even try and think about reviewing this whole book is overwhelming and exhausting. It is so MASSIVE that I feel like I can’t possibly remember every single thing that happened. When I got it for the first time and saw it’s size, I thought the publishing companies must have heard our cries about how much we hate the Bible-thin pages, and finally printed on regular ones. But then, upon closer examination, I realized it actually DID have those Bible pages, but STILL was the size it was.

I very foolishly and naively thought I could finish this thing in a few days, by the weekend after the day it came out. LOL @ ME. This book was so long it took me about a week and a half to get through it, even reading at full steam for most of the days. In some ways I liked this and in some I didn’t. I liked that I got to spend more time with it and not devour the entire thing and be done with it in just a few days. On the other hand, though. . .SO much happened that as time went on, I started to almost feel disconnected with the things I had read the first couple days. I’m so used to plowing through a book in a day or two that it was weird to think of things I had read a week ago--it felt like an entire lifetime ago. However, in hindsight, maybe that was a good thing. The emotions that were packed into this book. . .I’m speechless, man. This was, by far, one of the most emotional books I have ever read in my entire life. The emotions of all the character LEAPT off the page, and made you feel them right along with them. Sarah upped her game in this one. She is such a brilliant writer that she was able to make you feel all the pain, fear, sadness, hope, and joy that all of these people were feeling. You really really felt the scope of what we were going through--the struggle felt extremely real and everything was so emotionally poignant it left me reeling. It was an INTENSE experience.

I guess the only way I can even begin to tackle this is to take it character by character--or I guess I should really say storyline by storyline (which also kind of translates into couple by couple, amirite?!)

I’m gonna kick this off with Aedion and Lysandra, and their whole defending Terrasen storyline. First of all, HOLY $%*&. Those Terrasen battle scenes were STRESSFUL AF. I have no idea how they all hung on as long as they did. Every single chapter of theirs, I would be like “This is it. This has to be it. They have sunk as low as they can go, have exhausted every single resource, they are only holding on by the barest little scrap of luck. THEY CAN NOT DO THIS ANY LONGER”. And every flipping time, they did. Even with all those allies from Wendlyn, Ansel, the Silent Assassins, and Rolfe and his pirates. . .things just kept going from bad to worse. It was not fun to read about. Another thing that made it not fun to read about was because I was basically mad as hell at Aedion the whole time.

When we left them in Empire of Storms, he had said some pretty awful things to Lysandra. Now. . .I’m not saying that where his feelings were coming from were wrong. I get it, I do. His entire life has been about defending Terrasen for Aelin, finding Aelin, restoring Aelin to her throne. He wants that Blood Oath like he wants nothing else. She is his only family left (or so he thought) and is extremely important to him. He feels guilt over all that she went through and wants to keep her from suffering any further. So when something seriously bad happens to her, he goes a little berserk. I also understand that in moments of shock, grief, and pain, people say things that they don’t mean. Aedion was CLEARLY in shock, and experiencing some grief and pain. I could most likely forgive him pretty easily for his remarks at the end of EoS. . .calling Lysandra a lying bitch. Not nice, and he owes her a big apology, but like I said. . .he was in shock and deserves a little grace.

I expected stoney, tense, cold-shoulder silence between the two of them in here. I figured he’d regret what he said almost immediately but still be too upset and confused to do anything about it, and there would be more awkwardness than anything else. What I did NOT expect was for what he said to her in EoS to seem like mild name-calling in comparison to the things he said in here.

“He wants us to move the army back to him, and then to Orynth,” Aedion said, making to continue to Kyllian’s tent. “Immediately.”

She stepped in his path. “I can go, tell him this army needs to rest.”

“Is this some attempt to reenter my good graces?”

Her emerald eyes went as cold as the winter night around them. “I don’t give a damn about your good graces. I care about this army being worn down with unnecessary movements”.

She shrewdly looked him over. As if weighing the man within. “It was real, Aedion,” she said. “All of it. I don’t care if you believe me or not. But it was real for me.”

He couldn’t bare to hear it. “I have a meeting,” he lied, and stepped around her. “Go slither off somewhere else.”

Lysandra opened her eyes, peering up at him. At the rage on his face, the hatred.

She managed to stand, her body bleating in pain. Managed to look him in the eye, even as Aedion said again with quiet cold, “Get out.”

Barefoot in the snow, naked beneath her cloak. Aedion glanced at her bare legs, as if realizing it. As if not caring.

So Lysandra nodded, clutching Ansel’s cloak tighter, and strode into the frigid night.

Like yo Aedion, do you have a fucking Valg in you?????????? Seriously, what the fuck dude!!!! In what universe is saying or doing ANY of this okay??? Like I said, people say things they don’t mean when they’re shocked and in pain. Yeah, I understand he’s still going through a lot (and I do mean A LOT) but that is absolutely no excuse for the way he acted towards her. His continued treatment of her like garbage is terrible and it made me feel not so friendly towards him. It blew my mind that he was so upset over Aelin that he couldn’t see the selflessness in Lysandra’s decision. This girl has already been through SO MUCH (like honestly, this entire series is just full of characters who have the most traumatic backstories ever, I s2g), has been horrifically used and abused her entire life. She finally finds meaning and purpose in her life, finds freedom and the chance to make her own decisions. And she is willing to essentially give ALL of this up, sacrifice her freedom and control over her life that means EVERYTHING to her, for her friend. The first real friend she’s probably ever had in her life. Lysandra preparing to “be” Aelin for the rest of her life means she’ll have a huge target on her back from countless different people. She’ll be expected to give so much, when she has never been prepared for this sort of life at all. She’ll be expected to inspire, to lead, to rule, when all she wants is to have her own life. She’ll never be able to have her own children, never be able to follow her own dreams. She essentially signed her life away as much as Aelin did. She did all this FOR Aelin, FOR Terrasen, FOR the people, so they might not lose hope, and see their queen take her throne. And all Aedion sees is that she lied to him and was a compliance in Aelin being taken off to be tortured.

Aedion, you think Lysandra doesn’t love Aelin too??? You think it wasn’t just as hard for her to hear what Aelin planned to do, and to go along with it in order to try and help her friend in the best way she could???? And now she has to deal with your salty bitter ass, flinging insults and treating her like she’s worthless. She is giving SO MUCH to this war, she’s exhausting herself fighting on the front lines, using so much of her shape-shifting power, when it would be so easy for her to just walk away from all of this. And you threw her out, NAKED, into the snow. GOD DAMN, SON.

(The one thing I WILL give him is that their plan definitely wasn’t fullproof. I also found myself wondering what would happen if/when “Aelin” needed to display her powers or use them to help people. Someone would notice eventually that she doesn’t have any magic. If she was thinking long term enough for Lysandra to have “Aelin’s” children, how could they not have thought of this? They would have had to stage some story/lie about how she lost her powers eventually.)

Sorry, I just really needed to get that off my chest. I have wanted to chew Aedion out over that for a long time. Not that Lysandra didn’t get her own chance.

When she knew they were losing that battle because their morale was so low. . .and she took on Aelin’s form, and put herself at the front line. And took on those ilken, KNOWING that she was essentially powerless against them, but was going to be brave and go down fighting anyway. . .

She went down, shield rising to cover herself.

He took it back.

He took back everything he had said to her, every moment of anger in his heart.

Aedion shoved through his own men, unable to breathe, to think.

He took it back; he hadn’t meant a word of it, not really.

As horrifying and awful as this scene was, part of me was so cruelly satisfied by it. YEAH AEDION, NOW YOU SEE WHAT HER DECISION MEANS. Oh, you “take it back”, do you???? IT’S TOO LATE, YOU BAG OF DICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately, Lysandra and I proved to be pretty much of the same mind about this.

“I have been degraded and humiliated in so many ways, for so many years,” she said, voice shaking. “But I have never felt as humiliated as I did when you threw me into the snow. When you called me a lying bitch in front of our friends and allies. Never. I was once forced to crawl before men. And gods above, I nearly crawled for you these months. And yet it takes me nearly dying for you to realize that you’ve been an ass? It takes me nearly dying for you to see me as human again?”

Suffice it to say, I suppose he was sufficiently punished after this. Lysandra cut him like a razor and then he was stripped of his title, which literally meant everything to him. I still expected some groveling, which we got. But at the same time. . .nothing he did was ever really addressed?? I get that war and life-or-death situations bring people together (Lorcan and Elide, I’m comin’ for ya!!!) and I’m all for that, but that still doesn’t change the fact that he said and did some really fucked up things to her and they never really talked about it. I guess, in the grand scheme of ALL that was going on in this world, it was kind of inconsequential, and any more love and light we can get in the world is a good thing, especially after all the darkness they had just endured. Lysandra’s a very good person for forgiving him, because I know plenty that would have kicked him to the curb and never looked back. In the end, I’m extremely happy they’re getting married and they’re so happy. The two of them were my main contenders for people who were going to die in this book and I’m very glad I was wrong about this. I cried actual tears when Aedion took the blood oath at the end. I love that Lysandra is recognized as the Lady of Cavarre and their children will inherit it. I love that her and Falkan found each other!!!! Can he provide any description at all of what her parents look like, and would that help jog her memory at all of her own features? Even though at this point, everyone knows her as the face she wears, but I’m sure she’d still like to know. Even better: what if her and Aedion’s children are born with HER features, rather than the Ashryver ones they were banking on them getting when she was pretending to be Aelin?? My heart can’t handle it. Also, will their children inherit the shapeshifting gift? Can you imagine little baby ghost leopards and their ghost leopard mama??? My heart REALLY can’t handle it. I once read this really badass headcanon somewhere here on Tumblr that their daughter became Terrasen’s spymaster with that gift. . .that sounds pretty epic to me. The first time Evangeline appeared on the page, I literally teared up. Please don’t let anything happen to this precious little baby, I pleaded. Thank God someone was listening. Although with as big of a dick Darrow was being this entire time, all the time they spent together was making me really nervous. I didn’t trust him for SO long!! It all turned out alright, though. . .she really is so pure and precious that she melted even his crusty old heart. Like a high fantasy Cindy Lou Who and the Grinch.

Right up until this book’s release, I still had not read Tower of Dawn. Anyone who knows me at all knows I was no great fan of Chaol. If you’ve ever watched Christine Riccio’s videos, my stance on him was pretty much exactly the same as hers. I was FIRMLY Team Dorian and Chaol did pretty much nothing for me. Even after Rowan came into the picture and poor Chaol got put in the SJM Past Relationship Garbage Can, he was never someone I loved. As little as I felt towards him, I felt even less about Nesryn. I felt no strong desire whatsoever to read Tower of Dawn for a long time. I started hearing really great things about it, so my expectations were slowly building. By the time I did read it. . .WOW. It changed everything for me. I thought it was SO SO good and MAN, did it change my opinion on Chaol!!! Congrats, Sarah, you won me over with him completely. Mission accomplished, okay??!?!?! I LOVE CHAOL NOW!! I shipped him and Yrene so hard. I should also take his moment to talk about my love for Yrene. She is too good for this world and all I aspire to be in life. I’ve always kind of loved her ever since The Assassin’s Blade but I was a total goner when she shared that she wanted to go back to Erilea to help in the war, even though she was being offered everything in that southern continent. They are so well suited for each other it’s painful. I still don’t care AS much for Nesryn, she’ll never be my favorite character, but I do acknowledge that she’s a total badass and think it’s pretty epic that she’s going to be an EMPRESS now. That’s pretty hardcore. (Sartaq is also a total sweetie and I, too, would probably follow him into battle).

So I was TOTALLY thrilled to see all of them in here again!! Nesryn and Sartaq were significantly badass the entire time, they’re going to make an amazing khagan and empress. . .what a fucking power couple. They got off pretty much scot free, nothing even happened to their ruks, which I kind of thought would happen. Those god damn ruks I feel like did more work than anyone in this entire book. There were so many times where I’m like “those poor ruks must be fucking exhausted!!!”

Chaol and Yrene slayed me from page one (or whatever page they came in on). The thought that their lives were bound together, knowing what we were going into was honestly scary to think about. You know what else absolutely slayed and gutted me?? Finding out she was PREGNANT.

THAT’S JUST WHAT WE NEED RIGHT NOW. A VULNERABLE UNBORN BABY. BEING CARRIED BY A HEALER WHO’S SKILLS ARE UNPARALLELED, GOING INTO THE BIGGEST FUCKING WAR OF ALL TIME. GOOD. GREAT. AWESOME. FANTASTIC. 

The way poor Chaol found out was just awful!!!! His father really is a PEACH. Hated him back in Crown of Midnight, hated him now. Watching everybody lay into him was really great. He can go off and be miserable somewhere and I hope we never see him again. I am SO happy that Chaol reconnected with his mother and that she’s going to be a part of their lives. 

The Chaol/Yrene/Aelin reunion was beautiful and perfect and absolutely everything I ever wanted it to be. I was so hyped for this moment since finishing Tower of Dawn, I was about a second away from exploding from sheer excitement. When Aelin saw him walking and started crying, and they HUGGED, I immediately burst into tears. Even though I was not a Chaolaena shipper, I hated the way their relationship ended and was handled in Queen of Shadows. Even though it wasn’t who I wanted her to be with, it was a truly beautiful relationship that was built on some very real things and I thought they both deserved better than the bitterness, anger, and lack of trust we were left with the last time we saw him. Tower of Dawn and this moment healed this, as effectively as if Yrene had done it herself. Anything that brought reference back to the earlier books had me emotional as hell, and this moment really opened the floodgates. Aelin and Yrene WOW omg kill me. I LOVE that Aelin remembered her immediately and that Yrene got to tell her everything she had done with her life and how grateful she was. I loved that Aelin got to see how one small act of kindness had dramatically changed so many people’s lives. UGH it was just the best. 

When Aelin and Chaol lead the charge from Anielle together. . .oh man, it hit me hard.

“To Lord Chaol! To the queen!”

How far they both were from Rifthold. From the assassin and the captain.

Like I said, I didn’t even LIKE the Chaolaena relationship when it was happening, but this completely gave me all the feels. I was a mess.

I was worried af for Yrene this whole time. Aelin gets a lot of credit for being the magic powerhouse in this series, but idk man. . .I think Yrene’s really where it’s at. The whole time, I was waiting for her to basically just collapse in exhaustion. She’s working as a magical healer in what’s probably the bloodiest war their world has ever experienced, getting hardly any rest, is stressed and worried as hell for her husband who’s fighting in the war, and is walking around puking in buckets in between healings because she’s fucking PREGNANT. When Aelin and Co. started getting all excited because they found out she could heal the Valg out of people and were asking for a demonstration and they found out she had already done TEN that day I was like

YRENE NEEDS TO REST, OKAY EVERYONE?!?!?!? SHE’S GONNA BURN HERSELF OUT!!!

But no!!!! She never does!!! We know she’s tired but she never shows signs of like a major burn out that even Aelin has?? She just gets back up and keeps going?? Like where is the end to her power?? I swear, this woman is incredible. I knew that theoretically she could “heal” Erawan away but somehow even knowing this I never really thought she’d do it. I still always thought it would be Aelin (but let’s be real, this girl had far too much on her plate at this point). But no???? Yrene just steps right up and is like

She SMILES and calls him pathetic!!!! Doesn’t even flinch!!!! Baby’s fine, she’s fine!!! Erawan is GONE!!! WHERE WERE YOU THIS ENTIRE SERIES, YRENE!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I honestly feel like she’ll be just as much of a legend in their world now as Aelin will be. Remember in Heir of Fire, when Aelin’s fighting the ilken and she has that vision (or something) of the future where she comes back for her people and they’re all chanting her name, thanking her for banishing the darkness??? NOPE, YRENE. (And DORIAN, but we’ll get to that later)

I absolutely love the idea of her opening a Torre in Erilea. Her and Chaol are going to be so so happy. My one regret is that we didn’t get to see that baby. I really really wanted to. I thought maybe it would be in an epilogue or something. That’s another thing. . .I kept waiting for her to lose that baby. That would have brought things to a level of tragic I’m not really sure I could handle, so thank you Sarah for being kind to me that way. I’m probably going to hold out hope of seeing until I actually see it, so anytime you wanna get on that Sarah would be great.

Moving on to my NEW FAVES, LORCAN AND ELIDE!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t really know what I felt about them for a long time. I remember starting Empire of Storms and honest to God not even remembering who Lorcan was. I seriously had almost no recollection of him from Queen of Shadows. I was pretty meh on their storyline through Empire of Storms the first time I read it. It wasn’t until my re-read before Kingdom of Ash where I was like ??????? How have I not noticed these two more???? I literally love them with all my heart???? I ship them with the intensity of a thousand suns????

They gave me ALL the feels and it made Lorcan’s “betrayal” at the end of EoS even worse. I, like Elide, was pretty disgusted by him crawling after Maeve. I could honestly forgive everything else pretty easily. He had good intentions, he really did. But it’s like people expecting Manon to all the sudden be all warm and fuzzy in the blink of an eye. He’s trying to care for and protect the person he cares about but he literally does not know how. He’s going to make some mistakes. His just happened to be mildly catastrophic. *wince*

But yeah, all of that pretty much got pushed to the side when I saw him groveling and crawling through the sand after her. I was completely with Elide on this one. Like Are you for real, dude??? All of that just happened, and you STILL want to go back with her?? Go crawl off and be miserable somewhere.

But THEN when you find out the REAL reason he was acting like that. . .not trying to crawl for Maeve but for AELIN, it’s like. . .oh. Okay. Okay then. OKAY OKAY OKAY. I’M SORRY, LORCAN, OKAY???? COME ON, ELIDE, GIVE THE GUY A CHANCE!!!!!

It was impossible for me to stay mad at him after that. He is so so SO painfully whipped for Elide it’s hysterical. I just kept waiting for her to crack. I have never wanted to hug anyone more than I wanted to hug him when she was still mad at him. It was like watching a kicked puppy. She was cold as ice for so long that eventually I was like ELIDE, THIS MAN IS SUFFERING!!!!! PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

The things she said to him before that battle were SO mean. I felt so awful for him. But then as soon as he got hurt, I knew something epic was going to happen. I could FEEL it.

That whole sequence where she realizes he’s missing, and takes that horse, and charges out to find him, knowing that the flood is coming, but not caring because she has to find him and tell him she loves him. . .that scene CHANGED. MY. LIFE.

I was shaking and crying like a lunatic through the entire thing. The whole thing was so well-written, you could feel the intensity, you could feel her desperation, you could feel the sense of time ticking by and running out. It was as if all the sudden, before my eyes, the intensity and depth of their relationship was revealed to me, so much greater than I ever thought it was before, and I was as desperate for her to find him as she was. There was a minute where I genuinely thought they were both goners. I thought this was some dramatic painful way Sarah was going to write their deaths. I was riding on the edge of my seat the entire god damn time.

I also thought this was going to be a dramatic reveal of magic for Elide. The question was raised in Queen of Shadows AND Empire of Storms why Vernon wanted her so badly. Apparently she has witch blood from her mom’s side (this was never really explained and I’m still curious?) and then the Lochan bloodline has a history of powerful magic. Vernon was like hinting that she specifically, or her bloodline, was destined for some greatness and would make for extremely powerful demon Valg babies. I thought maybe in this moment, she would do what Aelin ends up doing. . .that it would take this moment, her and Lorcan and everyone else’s lives being in danger, for her magic to burst out and stop the flood. I still think that would have been cool. But in a way, I kind of like that she has no real magic, but she completely holds her own among all these extremely powerful people that do--and not just holds her own, but often one ups them all and shows everyone up. She’s incredible on her own, just as she is.

(I also thought we’d get to see Yrene heal her leg. I’m satisfied knowing it’s coming, though!)

After that, everything between them slayed me a million times over. Seeing the way Lorcan was with her seriously brought tears to my eyes. I want a whole book of just fluff between them. Seriously, Lorcan is the sweetest god damn teddy bear ever and I can’t stand it.

“Perranth will be rebuilt,” was all he said. “We’ll see that it is.”

“Have you ever done it? Rebuilt a city?”

“No,” he admitted, coaxing the pain from her aching bones. “I have only destroyed them.” His eyes lifted to hers, searching and open. “But I should like to try. With you.”

But then. . .of all the smutty, kinky, X-Rated level of sex scenes we get in Sarah’s work. . .you chose to cut off Lorcan and Elide’s into a fade-to-black. Like I’m sorry. . .what do you think this is, a PG-13 YA????!?!? You held out on the goods, Sarah. I’m disappointed.

Elide’s uncle met a very satisfying and poetically just ending. He deserved everything he got. When he was begging for mercy, to keep from being locked up and left. . .give me a break, give me a fucking break. You had no problem doing it to a helpless child for ten years. . .have a taste of your own medicine, bitch.

Vernon’s face went the color of spoiled milk. “You mean to leave me in their hands, utterly defenseless?”

“I was defenseless when you let my leg remain unhealed,” she said, a steady sort of calm settling over her. “I was a child then, and I survived. You’re a grown man. We’ll see if you do too.”

Something that was a whole big issue for these two for a good part of the book was the fact that Lorcan was immortal and Elide was not. I never really got why they were so worried about it. I don’t remember how I knew this, but I knew that fae had the ability to give up their immortality. So the whole time, I just expected that he would do this. Whenever he had an internal breakdown over the fact that she would grow old and die and he would be left behind to endure it, I was like. . . . . .give up your immortality??? If she means that much to you, which it clearly sounds like she does. I know that’s a thing that can be done, so why are we wasting so much angst on it?? Oh well, I’m glad he figured it out in the end. Elide and I were both very moved by it. (Although small side note: I hate when some characters in books are immortal and others are not. I still have PTSD about this from Clockwork Princess. Yes, the problem is rectified between the two of them, but it does not change the fact that Aelin and Rowan are immortal and are going to have to watch them wither and die one day. I hate it, I fucking hate it. I only like immortality if we’re ALL immortal!!!)

And of course, “Lord Lorcan Lochan” is utterly hilarious and perfect in every way. I love love LOVED their ending “Ask me to marry you” scene. Please give me more of them Sarah, I’m begging you.

And now, the time has come. . .the time to discuss my literal top two favorite characters in this entire series, the two that have rocked my world and turned it upside down the past couple years. MAKE WAY FOR MANON AND DORIAN, EVERYONE.

I guess I should preface this by saying that my preference for the Manorian ship went through a drastic and complete overhaul in the days following Empire of Storms. For those of you that don’t know, I was a MASSIVE die-hard Doraelin shipper back in the day. I held on all the way through Crown of Midnight and Heir of Fire. I REALLY thought this was where we were going in the end. I was completely convinced that we were going to come back in Queen of Shadows and discover that Dorian was Aelin’s mate, because even though he was Evil Valg Dorian, she wouldn't be able to hurt him. I thought the parallels in their stories were leading to an endgame romance. . .both had endured the traumatic deaths of their significant others, both had insanely powerful magic, and both were royalty, worthy of each other. Celaena belonged with Chaol, but I thought AELIN belonged with Dorian. I was CONVINCED this was where we were going, people. I didn’t even consider Rowan a potential love interest. 

LITTLE DID I KNOW.

It became apparent pretty quickly that the Doraelin ship was tanking. I fought it for a while. It sucked. But I refused to abandon ship!!

Then things started get even more complicated, when Queen of Shadows was released, and there were hints of a Manorian ship. I didn’t take any of it seriously. It was honestly like a crack ship to me. I didn’t think anything would ever really come of it.

LITTLE DID I KNOW.

Then Empire of Storms came out and all the sudden it was like. . .Wait, this is real???

Initially. . .I fucking HATED this ship. I cursed it to the fiery pits of hell and waited for it to sink to oblivion. Any time Manon spoke, thought, or interacted with Dorian I was like 

I was so protective of Dorian and so wound up in the Doraelin ship, that I could not accept anything to do with Manorian. I didn’t see how anything involving it would ever possibly work out. However, upon finishing Empire of Storms, things slowly started to change. Rowan was confirmed as Aelin’s mate, so there was no point in hanging on to anything there. My feelings toward Manon also changed dramatically in that book. I enjoyed her since the end of Heir of Fire, and genuinely liked her in Queen of Shadows, but Empire of Storms brought her up in my Top 3 Favorite Characters. Seeing where her story was going changed my whole viewpoint on this dramatically. I went back and read the Manorian parts with an open mind. About a week later, I was total Manorian trash.

I went into this book EXTREMELY excited for all the Manorian. Like I said, they are in my Top 3 Favorite Characters (the other being Aelin) separately. I think what I began to realize after Empire of Storms, that when I was obsessed with the idea of Doraelin, I think what I was really obsessed with was Dorian. I loved him so much that he was what I was hung up on. When I found Manorian, I was way WAY more into it than I EVER was with Doraelin. I don’t really have a super eloquent reason why I love him so much. It was pretty much love at first sight, I loved him ever since he strolled onto the page in Throne of Glass. I just latched onto him immediately. I loved the light heartedness he brought to the series back then. I loved that he loved to read, that he gave her a puppy (omg I will never be over that scene), that when he felt, he felt so deeply. (Plus I have a weakness for black hair and blue eyes, ok????). I sensed that there was so much more to him and I was right. When we found out that he had raw magic. . .*SWOON*.

He went through some dark shit in the past couple books, particularly this one. I have to say, I was shocked to see how “normal” he was thinking and behaving in Empire of Storms, after the ordeal he went through. He seemed shockingly unaffected. I don’t know if it was supposed to be delayed PTSD or what, because all the sudden it seemed like everything started surfacing in this book. Sorscha was brought up a LOT. Not that he doesn’t have a reason to be thinking about her, I just was surprised, because I barely remember her getting mentioned in EoS. He was so clearly mentally damaged here, it was legit painful for me to read. I can not tell you how much it hurt me every time he talked about going off and sacrificing himself to seal the Lock because no one would really care. 

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULD CARE, DORIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG BABY PLS DON’T SAY THIS!!!!!

His powers. . .I cannot even believe them. I swear to God, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK AELIN IS THE MOST POWERFUL?!?!? Her power is more outwardly catastrophic, but all she can work with is fire (and that tiny bit of water). Dorian’s got, and I quote, “Raw magic that could grant him any gifts: ice, flame, healing, heightened senses and strength. Perhaps shape shifting if he tried.” So you’re basically telling me that Dorian is Aelin, Rowan, Yrene, Aedion, AND Lysandra all wrapped up into one, PLUS God knows what else!!!!! YOUR FAVE COULD NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And yet. . .no one ever takes him seriously in this whole fucking series!!!!!!! It’s not that people are insulting or dismissing of him, necessarily, it’s just that no one seems to understand what a fucking powerhouse he really is. Everyone’s so concerned about Aelin and her magic and no one seems to even consider him. I’m over here like “Uhhhh guys??? Look at the power this guy wields. THIS seems like the guy I’d be fighting to recruit for my side!!” I think this is very likely why I liked Manorian so much. . .she seemed to immediately realize the depth of his power and respect it.

The fact that he mastered SHAPESHIFTING is just fucking INSANE!!!! Everyone makes such a big deal about Lysandra and it’s like. . .Dorian can do this too, plus also a million other things?? Like no big deal???? He’s so good and pure and just wants to be a better king than his father??? Plus he loves books and dogs??? Ugh, here’s my heart, just take it. I love him so much.

The whole time he was in Morath was honestly one of the most stressful times of the entire book. I just kept waiting and waiting for something terrible to happen. I didn’t know how I would handle it. When Maeve finally called him out and trapped him. . .

I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was preparing for the worst. But then, things started to get a little complicated. It was (mercifully) brief but there was really a time in my life when I ACTUALLY thought Dorian was going to marry Maeve. I really honestly thought he was going to go through with it for a hot minute and I honestly wanted to die. (More on my thoughts specifically about Maeve later). I had horrible flashbacks to Kai marrying Queen Levana in The Lunar Chronicles. I know he kind of said it was all a ruse, but he was so convincing and it went on for so long, that the lines started to blur for me and I was actually afraid we were going to go through with this.

“You want a kingdom? Then join mine. Ally with me, work with me to get what we need from Erawan, and I shall make you queen. Of a far bigger territory, with a people who will not rise up against you. A new start, I suppose.”

“The woman I love is dead. My kingdom is in pieces. What do I have to lose?”

“You came to Morath for a key and will leave with a bride.”

BUT THEN.

“It was as simple as an incision. To sever the link between their minds--and to sever another part of her.

To tie off the gift that allowed her to jump between places. To open those portals.

World-walker no longer, he said, as his raw magic shifted her own. Changed it’s very essence. I suggest you invest in a good pair of shoes.

And when he looked behind him, at the mountain and valley that reeked of death, at the place where so many terrible things had begun, Doran smiled and brought Morath’s towers crashing down.

I should have known to have better faith in him. He was just so amazing in this part and I was in total awe. I have a lot more feelings on him and what his future has in store, but I’ll save that for a little later.

I need to talk about Manon for a little bit.

Right now, my feelings on her are a complicated mix of

and

So, like I was kind of saying earlier. . .like a lot people, my opinion on Manon changed a lot throughout the series. I went from pretty much hating her, to loving her almost more than anyone else. It’s crazy how your opinion on someone can change so drastically after just one book. Empire of Storms made me see Manon in a whole new light. We already knew the direction her story was heading, of her finding her humanity and learning to love, but when we learned all the heartbreaking details about her parents, her half-sister, and the true depth of the evil her grandmother was capable of, it elevated things to another level for me. Her story now meant so much more and everything about her made me so emotional. I went back and re-read the entire Throne of Glass series before this came out and was absolutely blown away by how much I adored reading each of her parts. Her story with Abraxos. . .like omg I can’t. I get emotional and teary just thinking about it. And the Thirteen. . .The Thirteen. You know how sometimes when you read a book, you find yourself just latching on to certain characters, even if they’re not a central part of the story? You get irrationally excited reading about them and they take up a really special place in your heart? That’s how the Thirteen were for me. I absolutely loved them and thought they were so fucking awesome. Out of all them, I loved Asterin the most. I loved Asterin so much. Her story was, I think, one of the worst that anyone in that whole series experienced. To this day, I can’t read or think about it too closely because I can’t comprehend how awful it was. The fact that she went through all of that and was still so brave and good. . .it moves me to tears. And her loyalty to Manon. . .please don’t even get me started. The fact that she (and all of them, really, but especially her) was able to see the potential Manon had, far before Manon ever saw it in herself, and were so confident in it that she would follow her anywhere. . .kill me now. Their relationship really got me. Please don’t ever speak to me again about how it was being faced with having to kill Asterin that finally made Manon turn on her grandmother after an entire century. They were the ultimate Ride or Die duo and one of my favorite fictional friendships ever. 

I pretty much expected one or some of the Thirteen to die in this book. Given the way Sarah handled A Court of Wing and Ruin, I didn’t think any of our main players would die. Yes, this was a very high stakes book, but I was pretty confident that all of those guys were getting a happy ending. Killing of some of the Thirteen would be tragic enough to where we would feel it, but it wouldn't be a total devastation to the story. 

We should probably first start off by talking about the horrific beyond belief moment when Abraxos gets attacked. I swear to God, when that happened, I actually think I blacked out for a second. I REALLY honestly 100% thought he was going to die right there at that part. I remembered Sarah saying that the only guaranteed survivor of the series would be Fleetfoot, Aelin’s pet, but we didn’t hear anything about Manon’s. I’d said before this book that if anything happened to Abraxos, I’d probably go even more apeshit than Manon and just wouldn't be able to handle it. I briefly lost my absolute mind when this happened, and couldn’t function or even really read the words on the page until I knew he was going to be okay. It scared the living shit out of me.

When she told him she loved him. . .

I was still fucking reeling from THAT, when it happened. I was so shaken up and emotional at that point, that I didn’t even really realize what was happening at first. I seriously didn’t even understand. Then I started to get a horrible feeling but was still like No no no no no no, Sarah wouldn't really do this. It’s a trick. Then she started listing names and I realized what was happening. I was in denial all the way up until Asterin. At that point, I completely lost it. I had to put the book down and sob dramatically into my hands. I sat and cried on my bed for a good five minutes and couldn’t keep reading because I was so shocked and devastated.

(Side note: I had to stop reading then because it was getting so late and I didn’t really have the mental energy to continue anyway. I was basically a total and complete emotional mess at work the next day. I shouldn’t have been allowed around people.)

I couldn’t believe it. I still really can’t. I’m still a pretty big mess about it. I might even go so far as to say that this is the most upset I’ve been about a fictional death. . .ever? I know that’s a bold statement and I’m still raw to everything, but I really honestly think it might be. I’ve been mourning them like people I actually knew ever since I finished.

Most of these intense emotions come from my feelings on Manon. The way I view her is so completely different now. I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through from this. It’s overwhelming. Other than Abraxos, the Thirteen were all she had. She had no one else. Losing them is essentially the same as someone losing their entire family AND friends all at the same time and having to watch. All when you’re just coming to terms with things like emotion, friendship, and love, and possibly gaining hope for a better future for the first time in your life. Aelin went through a lot, and I know that, but I really don’t think there’s anyone in this series that is was more damaged than Manon was over the course of her life. I’ve seen a lot of people complaining about how they like that she’s so fierce and independent and don’t want to see her change who she is for the sake of a ship or whatever other reason. I have no doubt that Manon is fierce and independent and many other wonderful things. But there is a big difference between fierceness and independence and the way she was living her life before this series. She was abused and brainwashed into being a heartless killer with suppressed emotions, point blank. She was repeatedly told by her only (or so she thought) family member that she didn’t have a heart or a soul and the only things that mattered in life were discipline and brutality. This is not normal or healthy in any way. Not everyone has to be a super cuddly fuzzy person, but this kind of extreme lifestyle is destructive and harmful. I was never interested in seeing Manon lose her entire identity and become a domestic little wifey to someone DORIAN but learning to love and care for others? Taking all that she’s capable of and putting it towards fighting for good? Absolutely. To me, that’s not Manon’s character being ruined. It’s her character being improved.

So when you stop and think about who she was when we met her and how, really, she could have lived her life as a completely normal person, the damage that was plainly done to her is astounding. I think she’s slowly starting to come to terms with this, which is very hard for her, because I’m sure she has never thought of herself as a victim even once in her life. Adding this into the mix is so painful I can barely even think about it. When she went down onto the field after it was all over, knelt on the spot where the Yielding happened, and wept for them. . .that hurt. It hurt a LOT. Seeing Manon cry was harder than seeing any other character in that entire series cry.

Oh, and let’s also not forget that Abraxos lost his mate. Like. . .actually kill me now.

Like I said, the way I think of her is so completely different now. The grief she has to be going through is staggering. You do not suffer that kind of loss and then continue to be the same person. I know she was growing closer with her Crochan relatives, but who does she REALLY have?? Is she okay?? Can she talk to someone? I know she’s strong and I know she’s tough as nails, but she was so clearly destroyed by this that I just worry for her so much.

This is also made even more sad by the fact that before this I was riding SUCH a high with her part of the story!!! I knew that winning over the Crochans was NOT going to be an easy task and I was so curious to see how she would handle it. They definitely had a rocky start but it was all made right for me in the end.

“All my life,” Manon said, her voice wavering only slightly, “I have been fed a lie. A lie about who we are, what we are. That we are monsters, and proud to be.” She ran a finger over the scrap of red fabric binding her braid. “But we were made into them. Made,” she repeated, “When we might be so much more.”

“The choice of how our people’s future shall be shaped is yours,” Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. “But I will tell you this.” Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. “There is a better world out there. And I have seen it.”

“I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not a weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their people, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible.”

Manon lifted her chin. “You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who can not fight for it themselves. Too long have we prayed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers. There is a better world out there,” she said again. “And I will fight for it. Will you?”

YES MANON!!!!!!! Go back and read her first few chapters in Heir of Fire, and then come look at this. She has changed so much over the series. Her character growth is honestly profound.

And then the scene where she takes on all of the Matrons. . .

She knew no one would be there if she looked. Knew no one else could see them, sense them, standing with her. Standing with their daughter against the witch who had destroyed them.

Her grandmother spat on the ground, barring her rusted teeth.

This death, though. . .

It was not her death to claim.

It did not belong to the parents whose spirit’s lingered at her side, who might have been there all along, leading her towards this. Who had not left her, even with death separating them.

No, it did not belong to them, either.

She looked behind her. Toward the Second waiting beside Dorian.

Tears slid down Asterin’s face. Of pride--pride and relief.

Manon beckoned to Asterin with an iron-tipped hand.

SHE WAS GOING TO LET ASTERIN KILL HER. I CAN’T HANDLE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah. . .to see the epic place her character was going and then have that happen. . .it’s not fair, it’s so completely not fair. I wanted them all to see the Wastes together. I wanted Asterin to find happiness again--even though a good friend of mine made the point that her happiness was getting Manon where she needed to be and destroying the Matron. She did what she always wanted to do and now she’s at peace. This is 100% true and makes sense, but it still hurts. It hurts thinking about the REAL friendship her and Manon could have had from this point on. Ugh, now I’m sad again. I just really really want Manon to be okay.Now, as far as the actual Manorian goes. . .some things were a lot like how I expected and other things were NOT like what I expected. I didn’t really expect Dorian to be so emo in this book but I did fully expect them to have a “You do care--you care so much it scares you and you’re running away because you’re terrified” conversation. I’ve seen some people saying that their relationship doesn’t really seem to have much basis or foundation and they’re just using each other for sex to avoid talking about their feelings. As big of a Manorian shipper as I am, I can kind of see some accuracy in this. I think that’s kind of the point, though. The relationship started out this way and over time, they slowly begin to grow attached and see each other as more than a physical distraction. They are both good people at their core who are going through a lot. I think watching the other one overcome their struggles plays a big part in where this attachment comes from. The two of them have always been able to see each other so clearly, even when no one else could. There is an undeniable connection in that regard, for whatever reason. Dorian’s experience with Sorscha and the Valg prince and Manon’s experience in, well, basically this entire series, changed them significantly. I think both of their character arcs actually have a lot of similarities, some of which are even discussed in this book (coming to terms with hating the person who raised them). I think both of them are just beginning the process of figuring out who they want to be in life, which makes me really firmly believe we haven’t seen the last of them.

We’re not done with them yet. We can’t be. Sarah HAS to have some kind of project with them up her sleeve. This story is just begging to be written and I really can’t imagine that it wouldn't be. Kingdom of Ash ended with both of them physically safe, with positive seeming futures, but neither one are really even close to being whole and happy in any sense of the words. Dorian knows he wants to be a better king than his father but he very clearly has no self worth and is struggling a lot as far as what his place in the world is. Manon’s problems are self explanatory. She’s dealing with the horrific aftermath of losing every person she had in the world. Both of them are about to head off to kingdoms that are basically in shambles and try to do right by them, even though they are both internally suffering. Both Aelin and Chaol had books that were pretty much solely dedicated to their mental wellbeing--finding their self worth, their place in the world, and walking back that path to the light. They were both intensely powerful and emotional books. I just can’t imagine she would leave Manon and Dorian the way she did and not plan to give them something like this as well. Because they both really deserve it.

And, okay, I deserve it too!!!! My babies are suffering, therefore I’M suffering!!!!!!

Another thing that really makes me think this might happen is that I feel Sarah also has more she wants to do with Ansel. She offered to share the Wastes with Manon at the end of this book, so they’d be in the same place anyway. Ansel’s probably also not in a very good place at this point, after going through the death of all of her men (weren’t their heads being, like, catapulted or something? Gross). She lost all (or at least many) or her loyal followers, and so did Manon.

There were also those weird implications that something’s going on between her and Rolfe and Illias I think?? I’m very confident that Sarah has more to tell with that story as well. So basically, I’m just going to be sitting here waiting until this story is told. 

Moving on to the Cadre. When we first met most of them in Empire of Storms, I was kind of meh. I couldn’t keep all the names straight and remember who’s tragic backstory was who’s. But my re-read did make me connect with them a lot more. Lorcan, I’ve already discussed. Gavriel. . .I always basically just felt sorry for him. Basically, I thought Aedion was an overly dramatic little bitch (as per usual with him) towards him in Empire of Storms. Look, dude. I get it. You never knew your father and lived your whole life living in resentment of him because you assumed he impregnated your mother and took off, leaving her to raise you alone. Yes, that IS what happened, but then we find out that Gavriel didn’t even know that Aedion existed. When he finds out he has a son, he is FLOORED, emotional, and wants to meet him. He did not know that Aedion’s mother was pregnant. Not responsible, I’ll definitely give you that. But it’s like, Aedion. . .how many people have YOU had casual sex with??? Every man (I’m sorry. . . “male”) in this series is described as some incredible sex god, whose bedroom prowess is legendary and has no equal. That’s gotta come from somewhere. Aedion was no virgin when we met him and neither was ANY other guy we met. I don’t see a ring on his finger so clearly he’s had relations with someone and then discontinued the relationship. Aedion’s mother purposefully worked so hard to keep the knowledge of Aedion’s existence from anyone in Wendlyn, including Gavriel, because she was so afraid of Maeve. This is not Gavriel’s fault. To me, this is like people getting mad that people in the ACOTAR universe treat Rhys like a bad guy, when Rhys acted like a bad guy and WANTED people to think he was a bad guy for fifty years. It’s not fair that Aedion had to grow up without a father, but he was not brought up this way because Gavriel is some flaky dirtbag who abandoned his child and didn’t give a crap about him. Aedion’s attitude towards him in Empire of Storms was, I thought, extremely harsh. Gavriel is so good, so honorable, and all he wants is to know his son. He worries so much about being “worthy” of his son, and I’m over here kind of like. . . “Ugh, dude, he’s the one not worthy of YOU”. 

Despite my steadfast defense of him just now, I wasn’t too torn up over his death. I think probably what happened was just that I was so fucked up from the death of the Thirteen already that there really wasn’t much left in me to feel anything towards this. I was so shaken by that that I don’t know what it would have taken to get my thoughts off of it. If Gavriel’s death had come first, I think it would have been much more sad for me. It was also exactly the kind of death I expected. . .sad, meaningful, but not too devastating, where we’re losing anyone major. It was sad to see Aedion sad over him, though. That could have been a really beautiful relationship. I’m not unfeeling towards it, it was just no where NEAR the things I felt about the Thirteen. So it kind of got overshadowed.

NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME AWARD GOES TO FENRYS.

My feelings for him hit me like a mega bus and I was not prepared for it. Like I said, I was very meh on the Cadre before this but man, this guy won me over in this book. The fact that he was forced to witness Aelin’s torture. . .ugh, I can’t. I feel like that would be enough to make me lose my mind in about a day. I don’t know how he managed to keep any kind of sanity throughout that. I think the bond that they formed, even without the Blood Oath, is something incredibly deep and unbreakable. I can’t imagine how much it must have. . .helped? I don’t know if I can even use that word because there was nothing positive about that situation whatsoever, but I think having Fenrys there was probably what kept Aelin from going off some deep end that she could never come back from. Just knowing that there was one person there who was good, and cared about you, and knew the extent of your suffering. . .in a situation as horrific as she was in, this one little kernel of goodness most likely made an astronomical difference. The form of communication they formed through the blinking. . .I am here, I am with you. 

I bawled like a freaking little baby when he finally broke through Maeve’s Blood Oath to come to her defense and then she gave him her Blood Oath to keep him from dying. Their relationship really gave me all the feels and I just love him so much now. I’m super interested in where his story is going. There was something mentioned at some point about him going off on some mission? Somewhere? For something? I can’t remember, but I know there was something. I’m betting my own paycheck he gets his own book.

I also wanted to touch briefly on Connall, and the way things ended with him. I’ve seen a lot of people cursing his name, saying good riddance, and that Fenrys deserves way better, which is shocking to me, because of the way I interpreted what Connall did. I could be completely wrong on this, but when I read this I assumed he was under Maeve’s control when he said it. Like she was making him say those things. What he said was definitely awful and uncalled for. It just didn’t make sense to me because him and Fenrys obviously have a really close bond because Fenrys was willing to bind himself to Maeve and basically be her sex slave to protect him. If Maeve could make him stab himself to death, I bet she could make him say those things. I read it kind of like the visions she was giving Rowan and Lorcan at the end, where Lyria and Elide were saying all that awful shit to them that they would obviously never say in real life. . .basically taking their own insecurities and inner demons and projecting them. Like I said, I could be totally wrong. And him and Maeve are both dead so I don’t know how we’d ever find out one way or another. Maeve was just so evil in this book that I viewed that whole scene as just one more torture device. I really can’t believe he just died that early on in the book! I fully expected a dramatic twin rescue/coming together storyline. Poor Fenrys :(

And honestly who the eff even is Vaughn????? Every time he was brought up, I was like. . .????? Who???! I feel like there has to be some purpose to him for him to even be created, and I’m still waiting!! (Another thing that gives me hope for more books in this world!)

Also, literally LOLing at the fact that Aedion was so upset in Queen of Shadows that Rowan took “THE” Blood Oath and not him and now Aelin literally has like 500 people Blood Oathed to her. Seriously, every member of the Cadre! See Aedion? It all worked out.

I thought all of the villains met their endings in very poetic and satisfying ways. Manon’s grandmother’s death, even though it absolutely killed me, was 100000% perfect and no other way would have been as satisfying. We knew Asterin had to do it (I just didn’t expect it to be a kamikaze mission!!!!!!). I lost track of the body Erawan was in. I know for a while he was Duke Perrington but I thought I remembered somewhere along the way reading that he wasn’t anymore. Wasn’t he in Dorian’s cousin, that guy Roland? The hot young blonde guy?? Was that who he was in this? I honestly don’t know. Either way, he was as evil as ever. Morath just seemed like one giant hellhole and anything to do with him grossed me out. One of the worst parts of the whole thing for me was finding out that he actually desired Manon and wanted her as his queen and for breeding.

The fact that he got melted away into nothing and totally obliterated by Yrene (AND DORIAN, PLEASE DON’T FORGET HIM!!!!!!!!) really is pathetic. That’s the best word Yrene could have picked to use then. The whole idea of her being the one to end him and not Aelin was a little jarring for me at first, just because it’s so normal for the main protagonist to take down the main villain, but I like this end for him way way better than him just being banished to another world. 1) I don’t trust those gods at all (more on that later) and 2) If he found his way in once, he could find his way in again. This way he’s gone and gone for good. Good riddance!! 

Maeve. . .I was confused af over Maeve the entire time. She’s vile, horrible, morbid, and evil as hell, but once we found out her motive in Tower of Dawn, I really didn’t understand why she wasn’t siding with Aelin. She’s basically devoted her entire existence into keeping herself hidden from the Valg kings so she doesn’t have to go home to their awful dimension or whatever. The Valg kings tried to come here specifically so they could find her and hunt her down. Aelin is actively and openly trying to destroy Erawan and permanently banish him from this world. ?????? Sounds like a no-brainer to me?? If you were that concerned about him finding you and being there, I don’t know why she wouldn't at least make a temporary alliance with Aelin, then turn on her once he was gone (basically like she ended up trying to do with Dorian). I know she really wanted the Blood Oath from Aelin because she wanted to use her as a weapon, but I feel like given the present circumstances, all of that could have waited until Erawan was destroyed. Then go after her hard core for the Blood Oath. It got to a certain point though, where I didn’t even care about this anymore. What she had done to Aelin was so astronomically horrific that there was no coming back from it. All I wanted was for her to die. . .painfully. Once she started talking with Dorian, I got really REALLY nervous that this alliance was actually going to happen, and like I said, by that point I didn’t want it, no matter how much sense it made. I was so emotionally exhausted that I was having a hard time figuring out who was manipulating who in that situation. Thank God it never ended up happening. I kind of wanted Aelin to be the one to end her, but really, all of the Cadre suffered under her thumb so much that really any one of them would have been justified. Fenrys was definitely within his rights. I am not a supporter of violence, but Aelin’s beheading of her after that brought me so much satisfaction.

And now I guess there’s really only one thing to talk about left. The Fire Breathing Bitch Queen herself, the Faerie Queen of the West, Aelin of the Wildfire, and all her many other titles. And Rowan. . .can’t forget about him, can we?

I’ll admit, my feelings on them as a couple have not been generous since Queen of Shadows. I loved their relationship in Heir of Fire. It was one of my favorite things about the entire book. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed reading a completely platonic male/female friendship that went so deep they would die for each other until I read one--there are so few out there that it wasn’t something I had much experience with. I am NOT complaining about romance--romance is my favorite thing in any story and I will never complain about it’s presence in literature. But this was really kind of refreshing and felt so special. The fact that it played such a big part in Aelin’s emotional recovery and, essentially her rebirth, made it feel even more special. Whenever I heard someone mention themselves being “Team Rowan”, I was genuinely shocked. I never even considered that as a legit ship prior to QoS (sort of like how I was with Manorian. . .LOL@me). So when Queen of Shadows started and suddenly things were very NOT platonic, I was extremely taken aback. It was just not at all what I was expecting, and everything about their relationship, which I loved so much before, felt completely different. All the sudden we were talking about having self control with nightgowns, tormenting each other about not wearing underwear to assassination missions, thinking of licking each other, and oh yes, I actually really felt this way about you ALL ALONG!!! I just never said it! I didn’t buy it. Going back and re-reading the series from start to finish again helped, because there wasn’t a 2 year gap in between Heir of Fire and Queen of Shadows. It made the transition a little more smooth and it did seem more believable this time around. The first time though. . . I didn’t see a scrap of evidence to suggest that this was feasible and was convinced that somewhere in the gap between HoF and QoS, Sarah got the hots for Rowan and decided that Aelin did too. To this day, I’m still not a big fan of the way the two of them treated other people in Queen of Shadows. It bothered me how once Rowan showed up, no one seemed to matter to Aelin. That might not be entirely fair, and I’m sure someone could present a counter argument to this, but I still got vibes of this even upon my recent re-read. This is partially a personal problem I have with Sarah’s writing. . .that once the main love interest is in the picture, suddenly everything becomes a comparison with absolutely everyone and everything. NO ONE can compare to the utter perfection of The Main Love Interest in any way, shape, or form. The Main Love Interest’s actions and words seem like they are done purely to showcase what utter failures everyone else is with their actions and words. . .even if Main Character had no problem with them in previous books. They are feminists, action-takers, sensitive, intuitive sex gods, and how ever did the Main Character not see what she was putting up with before him?????? It’s over the top and I start to find it obnoxious. I get the feelings like this Main Love Interest is being shoved down my throat, like I’m being given no choice but to love and adore him, because he is such Utter Perfection that it makes no logical sense not to. This is RAMPANT in ACOTAR (don’t even get me started) and I most definitely think it started to show itself here. Not nearly as extreme (seriously, I could rant about it forever), but there were definitely moments. I’m telling you, it’s not a coincidence. Aelin comes back from Wendlyn and suddenly Chaol is utter dirt. Even though one book prior to that, she was calling him her “home” and being moved to tears by him because he made her see the world the way it should be. Chaol was willing to give up his position and follow her anywhere, he wanted to marry her, but then Wait a second, she has magic?? Sorry, I take it back, she’s an unpredictable monster and I want nothing to do with her.

I could go through more examples but I won’t bore you with them. But seriously. . .I didn’t even like the Chaolena ship but the way it went down (before Tower of Dawn) was so cringey. I was put off by how Rowan showed up in Queen of Shadows and starts stomping all over Aedion, even though Aedion is her family and has lived literally his entire life dedicated to her (I felt really sorry for Aedion in QoS ok??) Basically, the vibe I was getting was that no one was of any real importance except for Rowan anymore and it made their romantic relationship just be too much for me to handle (it didn’t help that my salty ass was still holding out hardcore for a Doraelin end game but we won’t talk about that). The re-read I just did helped a LOT with this. Normally once I’m given time to accept something in a series (and two years is a nice long time to accept it) I can come to terms with things nicely and end up enjoying it, or at least take it for what it is. It’s just that if something doesn’t happen the way I expect it to, there’s a bit of a rough adjustment period. This adjustment has definitely happened. This time, I read Heir of Fire looking for hints at a romantic pairing and I found them. I still don’t entirely have completely positive feelings for the way the two of them behave as a couple through the later two books (particularly QoS) and I don’t think that will ever really go away, but like I said, this is just a pet peeve of mine with Sarah’s writing in general. It’s not enough to make me seriously dislike them. And I have to say. . .I felt that this little issue was cleared up entirely in Kingdom of Ash.

Aelin had been through so much by that point that she just really needed one solid person to be 100% there for her, in any way that she needed. That was what I felt Rowan’s role was in Kingdom of Ash. For all the talk of him being “the most powerful purebred Fae male in all the history of the world blah blah blah whatever”, I felt that his role as Aelin’s supporter far outshone any kind of magical ability or battle skill he brought to the table. Sure, he fought in battles and used his magic, and shape-shifted and it was really impressive, but the scenes that were standout for me were the scenes were he was comforting Aelin, or calming Aelin, or reassuring her, or anything like that. In all the turmoil that she was facing in so many directions, Rowan was a constant and steady rock throughout all of it. Sometimes I even started feeling like he was MY link to sanity. The problems they were facing would start to seem so overwhelming and hopeless and Rowan would be there to lean on in whatever way we needed. He acknowledged that he knew she was tired and that what she had gone through and what was being asked of her wasn’t fair. But at the same time, he constantly drew on the strength of her heart, her heart of wildfire that he knew would never fail her (which was pretty much exactly what it ended up coming down to. . .look at Rowan, making me emotional!!!). He always seemed to know exactly what to do or say and never stifled her. She was always making her own decisions, even ones that would seriously affect the outcome of a lot of really important things, but were still hers to make on her own. I remember one thing that comforted me immensely was when she reminded him that they still had her sacrifice to face at the end of all of this, and he told her that when that time came, they would face it together, as one soul in two bodies. Normally I am SO not about this literal “I die when you die” (looking at you, Feysand) but I’ll admit. . .in this instance, I was like Yes, thank you, her and I both needed to hear that. The thought of her facing that alone was so overwhelming, depressing, and scary. He had already been alive for so long and he didn’t have any real commitments like children or a kingdom or whatever. I know it sounds really really morbid to be thinking this way and I acknowledge that this is kind of fucked up, but I loved that he just viewed it as, “It’s nothing to be afraid of because if it does come down to that, I’ll go and go with you. We won’t be separated no matter what”. Like I said, she had gone through so much at that point that I was like. . .yes, give her this.

Basically, I just want to give it up to Rowan for being such a solid calming presence and force throughout this entire book. So much was being thrown at them, but he never balked even once. I never felt like he was part of some obnoxious comparison, like his actions were being showcased to display how shitty someone else was being. Whatever came at them, he would always take it, no matter how overwhelming, for Aelin. He was exactly what she needed throughout this entire experience. Round of applause for you, Rowan.

(The only thing that mildly disappointed me about Rowan was the whole “I actually never loved Lyria as much as I said I did, I really wanted it to be YOU who was my mate the whole time.” Like. 1) I don’t buy that. He loved Lyria and the death of her and their child destroyed him. And 2) If you want to think that, go ahead and think that, but saying it out loud like that is not fair to that poor girl. She was literally set up to be a pawn in Maeve’s shitty little morbid games with you and Aelin. The least you can do is give her and her memory the respect she deserves. But it’s Sarah. I have to expect that SOME things like this are going to happen. Overall it still didn’t affect the way I felt about him).

Aelin herself. . .I can’t even fully begin to describe my feelings on Aelin in this book, and in this entire series. Like I said, I had some gripes on the way some of her ships were dealt with, but overall, she is, and still remains, one of the characters that means the most to me out of every series I’ve read. I honestly draw so much courage and strength from her, as corny as that may sound. I went into this book not really knowing what to expect with her. We knew she was in a really bad situation, but. . .I was not prepared for just how bad it was going to be.

Reading Aelin’s torture scenes were honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever read in my entire life. I had to start skimming some of the worst parts because I was getting nauseous. I am not a person with a high tolerance for pain. . .I am the classic “stub my toe and cry” kind of girl. So reading those scenes with Cairn. . .my little brain could not comprehend what she was going through. I was in hysterics with pretty much every one. I kept thinking “this is the worst one, it can’t get any worse than this”, and then it inevitably would. (Although I still kind of think the winner for that goes to the scene with the glass. . .I seriously can’t even picture that, I start to crawl out of my skin). Aelin is a character who is so strong and tough, that when she breaks down and cries, it kills me (kind of like Manon). The scene where she’s crying in the box after some horrific torture scene, and she has that vision of her mother, who tells her, “You’ve been very brave, for so very long. . .But you must be brave a little while longer, my Fireheart.”

That scene just absolutely killed me. I think about myself, when I’ve had a long day at work, and just feel so beaten down and put-upon by the world, when nothing seems to be going right and even though I’m well into my twenties, all I want is my mom. I want her there to listen, to let me lean on her a little, in the way good moms do. Having Evalin appear to Aelin in that moment, when she’s going through all of that really really got me. And then of course, it leads to that surge of power that Rowan and the others feel, that points them to her.

It filled him with sound, with fire and light. As if it screamed, again and again, I am alive, I am alive, I am alive.

The dumbest thing that Maeve could have done was to move her. As soon as she said she was doing that, I knew she was making a fatal mistake. The level of cruel irony though, in the fact that Aelin heard about the Valg mask Maeve was supposedly going to get and tried to provoke Cairn into going too far and killing her, when the Crew had concocted this story to draw Maeve away was almost too much for me to handle.

I have slightly mixed feelings about her rescue scene. I do kind of like that she played a big part in saving herself, because she is nothing if not strong and capable. However. . .Aelin was so convinced that no one was coming for her and had given so much for so long that I kind of wanted to see everyone prove her wrong. The dramatic side of me wanted a dramatic rescue scene. Also, if Maeve didn’t want her to have any chance of escaping, she shouldn’t have had the healers stop her muscles from atrophying. I know she wanted her strong to be her weapon, but that just seems like too much of a risk while she’s in captivity. If the healers can do that creepy shit with her skin where all her scars are gone, I’m sure they could have fixed her muscles in the exact moment Maeve needed them to.

I don’t know who was more hysterical in the “Take it off” scene. . .Aelin or me.

I felt the loss of her scars deeply!!! I was kind of surprised at how much. I don’t think that’s really weird because I think she did too. Yes, most of them signified horrible things that she went through, but they were a part of her. They showed that she was a survivor. The whole thing with the tattoos Rowan put on her over her whipping scars, and the promise thing on her hand to Nehemia. . .there was so much emotion and a story behind so many of them. It was extremely strange to think of her without them. The PTSD aside, I don’t blame her for not feeling like herself for a while.

Ultimately, I feel like in this book, Aelin became the perfect balance of herself. Watching her come back into herself, and become this wise, powerful, humble, strong queen was incredible. She’s learned to rely more on others and has both softened and hardened around the edges. She’s always been amazing and strong, but in this book I really felt like I was reading about a rightful and deserving queen of an entire nation. She’ll always have self-sacrificing tendencies, because that’s just who she is (I think it’s like a cardinal rule that main protagonists have to have this problem), but I really enjoyed seeing her express how grateful she was for everyone who played a part in their journey.

Going into this, I didn’t even begin to try and guess how the whole “The Queen Who Was Promised” thing would be resolved. The only thing I was 10000000000% confident on was the fact that Aelin was not going to actually die in this book. I had no fear regarding that. Now, that doesn’t mean I didn’t think a lot of awful and heartbreaking shit was going to go down before we got there (And boy, did it). I had no better solution to offer to fix the problem of Brannon/Mala’s descendent having to offer their life. I didn’t think it would be some dumb loophole like Dorian’s brother (wtf happened to him anyway??), but I couldn’t think of anything else. I know Aelin kind of took it upon herself to be her problem (which she tends to do) but I really agreed with Dorian whenever he pointed out that it was just as much his burden as it was hers. . .at least by the point they were at. I obviously love Dorian, so I didn’t WANT it to be, but you couldn’t really argue his logic. When they came up with the idea of both of them going to forge the Lock, so probably/maybe/hopefully it would only need to take half of each of them, I was like. . .It’s too easy. Something else has to go wrong.

What I can tell you I NEVER would have guessed is the freaking King of Adarlan popping up out of nowhere. 

LOL when he was like “Let me do this. Let me finish this.” I was like YEP, SURE, TAKE IT, BYE. COME ON GUYS, LET’S GO. But of course Aelin has to question it. If it were me I’d be like Sounds awesome, see ya!!!!!!!!!!

And then he’s all “Nameless is my price. . .EXACTLY kids, what’s my name???” and I’m like

Wasn’t this. . .a fandom joke??? This is really what’s happening??? I mean sure, okay, I’m glad it’s not one of them but I seriously can not believe this is where we’re going with this. I always thought the fact that he didn’t have a name made him ten times creepier. I didn’t think it actually meant anything, I just thought it was for dramatic effect. . .the King of Hybern in ACOTAR doesn’t have one either.

But okay, here’s the problem I have with this. While this is all fine and dandy that he’s actually a decent caring person who’s just been possessed this whole time and wants to help them. . .he’s already dead. How does this count?? I thought this whole thing was that someone had to sacrifice their life. He just pops up as a dead spirit and volunteers for it to be him. Like dude, I appreciate the gesture, but why would this be considered the same thing as Aelin or Dorian or even freaking Hollin doing it?? I swear, I’ve wracked my brains over this forever and still can’t make sense of it.

The one thing I was honestly bummed about with this scene was the fact that Aelin never got to see any of her beloved dead. I thought when this Lock forging business was going on, we were going to get a scene like in Deathly Hallows, where Aelin somehow gets to see the people she loves who have died. I thought she was going to see her parents and Nehemia and Sam and they’d tell her they loved her but she had to go back because her life wasn’t over yet. It’s probably good that that didn’t happen. The little message the King gave her was bad enough. This probably would have been too much for me to handle.

Ok, now first of all fuck all of these gods. Good riddance to all of them. I know what Elena did was a giant mistake, but her intentions were good and completely obliterating her like that so her loved ones would never see her in the Afterlife is really harsh. Although I found it kind of hilarious that after ALL THAT STRIFE to get to the damn point where we were at, which had the end goal ALL ALONG of getting Erawan banished, Aelin decided to bargain for Elena’s soul instead, I still thought Elena deserved some forgiveness and a reprieve. So when the gods went all

evaporated her anyway AND left without taking Erawan I was like 

GOOD RIDDANCE TO ALL OF THEM. And man, poor Elena. Poor Gavin. They really got a raw deal for their ending.

After this, she gets saved last minute by Mala because of what she tried to do for Elena. Awesome. But part of me is like. . .if there was a way for this to be possible all along, why didn’t we just do this in the first place, Mala??? You think this girl who has already suffered so much deserved to die for this?? You couldn’t have thrown her a bone a little earlier?? It all worked out, so whatever, I guess. And I loved how there was that emphasis placed on her heart leading her back home, how it connected to her mom saying her heart would always be the strongest part of her, no matter what. That one got me right in the emotions.

And then Aelin gets sent hurtling on her little inner-dimension joyride and WHO DOES SHE COME ACROSS???????!!!?? RHYS AND FEYRE ARE IN THRONE OF GLASS NOW, ARE THEY SARAH!?!!!?! HEAVILY PREGNANT FEYRE IS IN THRONE OF GLASS, IS SHE?!?!??!!?!

I had a mild aneurysm reading this scene. I know most of you did too.

(Have to take a second and remark over the fact that even as Aelin is in high distress, being thrown through multiple worlds and dimensions, she pauses and remarks over how Rhys is “beautiful beyond reason”. . .classic Sarah. She literally can’t even help herself).

I think it was fitting that what Aelin ended up sacrificing and losing was her Firebringer gift. That was honestly just too much power for one person to handle and I feel like it would have continued to cause more problems that it solved, especially with her being immortal. Look how far Maeve went to gain control over her and use her as a weapon. I’m sure many others would attempt the same thing over the course of her immortal life.

And as far as her losing the human side of her goes. . .to me, that was more of a symbolic loss than one that physically hurt and we felt the absence of. When was the last time she even assumed her human form? I already thought of her as pretty much completely fae at this point, so it wasn’t something I felt a gaping loss over. I get the symbolism behind it though, and understand that Aelin probably feels it way more than I do.

I loved the happy ending that Aelin got. I loved seeing her charge into Orynth on the Lord of the North. I loved that she faced Erawan and Maeve without her Firebringer gift and still came out on top (it was so reminiscent of Book 1 Aelin, who I fell in love with). I loved that she gained the support of the lords because they’re softies for Evangeline like everyone else in the world is. I loved seeing her finally be crowned Queen of Terrasen. I sobbed throughout her entire coronation. You know what else I absolutely wept through?????

She felt as if she had been crying without end for minutes now.

Yet this parting, this final farewell. . .

Aelin looked at Chaol and Dorian and sobbed. Opened her arms to them, and wept as they held each other.

“I love you both,” she whispered. “And no matter what may happen, no matter how far we may be, that will never change.”

“We’ll see you again,” Chaol said, but even his voice was thick with tears.

“Together,” Dorian breathed, shaking. “We’ll rebuild this world together.”

She couldn’t stand it, this ache in her chest. But she made herself pull away and smile at their tear-streaked faces, a hand on her heart. “Thank you for all you have done for me.”

If there’s one thing that gets me in a series, it’s nostalgia for earlier books. Seeing the three of them standing here like this, after all the pain all of them went through, looking at where they are now and how much they all love each other. . .I could not handle my emotions.

I guess there’s really not much else to talk about. I know there will be little things that I think of here and there, probably for a long long time. . .like I said, there was SO MUCH in this book that consuming it all was overwhelming. As much as there was, like always with the end of a series, somehow it wasn’t enough. I still want to read about Aelin’s long-awaited rule over Terrasen, how Dorian and Manon heal from their losses, find inner peace, and take their place as leaders. I want to know about Fenrys and what his future holds, how Evangeline grows up and becomes a force to be reckoned with, about Chaol and Yrene’s baby, and Lorcan and Elide, and every wonderful person I’ve come to know in this series. This characters have come to mean so much to me and will always hold an extremely special place in my heart. I’m so grateful to have gotten to meet them through these books and am so proud of the people they have all become. They lit up my darkness in a time that I needed it.

So I’ll dry my tears. And I’ll be grateful.

Until we meet again xx.

[wolfenm-marveling]

There are three big reasons I have not and don’t want to see Endgame ....

For one, I wrote a lengthy article about that will run in June at Sequential Tart (I'll update this post with the link when it goes live *EDIT* Here it is: The Subject of Character Death, Revisited - http://www.sequentialtart.com/article.php?id=3362 ). The other two, I'll talk about here; they involve Steve and Bucky.

I know what you’re thinking: Wolfie, how can you form an opinion on a movie you haven't seen? Well, I do have mental health issues (undiagnosed and untreated because I have no insurance or job, yay), so when the film was released in China, I found someone to spoil me so that I might make an informed decision as to whether or not I could *handle* seeing it, given some worries I had (and especially since 3 hours without a bathroom break was not going to work for me or my companion). I determined from that convo that it would be a Very Bad Idea for me to see the film.

Even seeing the constant posts about it  -- especially ones that called it a  “beautiful” or “perfect” end, etc. -- was triggering anxiety and mental anguish / circular thoughts (admittedly in part because there were similarly “bad” things happening in other fandoms of mine -- it was too much at once). And I'm STILL having massive issues with circular thoughts about it.

This essay isn't meant to tell anyone they’re wrong about how they perceive / feel about the film, BUT, while I know I shouldn't care what other people think, the sitch still makes me feel how I feel: frankly, a bit disturbed that people are loving things that are making me so awful. I feel like I've stepped into some sort of Bizarro world -- like I'm somehow in the wrong universe. It’s very distressing. (I mean ... they call it mental *illness* for as reason, right?)

In this franchise where I once found such great joy, I now find little more than anguish. It’s actually been making me physically ill to see the posts -- or to look on my massive Marvel collection; I've had to box much of it away for now. Hopefully some day I can enjoy it again. (I can't exactly stop using my $60 Captain America backpack I begged for, for my birthday, though. :/)

I find that when my thoughts get like this (like I'm on a runaway train that keeps revisiting the same stations), the only thing that helps even a little is to sort out my thoughts on the page -- even if I’ve done it before, as I have with this in the comments section of friends posts. (You may have seen other people express similar thoughts, too.)  And really, I don't want to rain on my friend’s parades, so I figure I’ll post it in my own space, and then if people ask me my thoughts, I can just point them here. And hopefully this post will help others who are similarly struggling (I know there are at least a few).

As for the old chestnut “It’s just a story/ a fictional character”, well, for one thing, let me repeat: mentally ill here. If I could control how I feel, I wouldn’t BE mentally ill. But also, I'm a writer who feels writing is a sacred calling, so when I feel a story is badly told, I tend to take it personally. Yes, I know my opinion is not the be-all, end all -- if you think it’s a good story, yay for you. Me, I feel betrayed by this story in a way I have rarely felt before (the other biggest instance having happened the week before the film's release, so double-whammy, yay).

Warning: if you read any further, I assume you either saw Endgame or don’t care about Spoilers.

(*edited to add* If you need some solace too, check out @antiendgame to find other people who are upset.)

The first upsetting points for me were the Noble Deaths (and, in Loki’s case, lack of resurrection) -- I hate that trope with the fire of a thousand suns. But that’s what I wrote the article on (including how 2012 Loki’s escape doesn't make me feel any better), so no more on that here.

Now, let me preface the rest of this by saying no, I wasn’t expecting a romantic presentation of Stucky. And as hard as I ship them fanon-wise, I don’t actually hate Steggy -- I adore Peggy in her own right (and like the idea of them  being a threesome with Bucky).

What I DO hate is that Steve abandoned Bucky for her.

Aside from Steve’s moral compass, Bucky was the impetus behind pretty much *everything* Steve did in his trilogy. He found the missing soldiers because Bucky was amongst them. Bucky’s death broke him -- and finding him again in Winter Soldier seemed to give Steve, who was clearly depressed, new life. Despite Sam insisting Bucky was Gone, Steve wouldn't kill Bucky to save the world. And in Civil War, Steve fought other dear friends, and was willing to throw away his own freedom, to protect his best friend. So how the FUCK is them being *separated pretty much forevermore* a satisfactory end to that story???????

TL;DR, the Captain America movies were about the repeated separation and reunion of Steve and Bucky … and yet we barely got to SEE them together before Steve said sayonara to the man he’d been best friends with for over a for over a decade, to go be with a woman he’d known for about a year. 

A woman who’d already had a family without him.

Yeah, we can say her family still exists in the original timeline -- but I have seen soooo many different explanations of how the time sitch works out, it’s not even funny.

Really, that’s the third reason I don't want to see the movie: I HATE time paradox, and this movie sounds riddled with it. Also, as I understand it, the writers and the Russos are saying different things, with the Russos saying it’s a different timeline (which apparently Steve would be going *back* to after the shield pass, for some reason, and yeah, that bothered me, that he didnl't even give his best friend that momento, and sent their last onscreen moments together talking to SAM), and the writers saying no, the alternate timelines were only a thing when the Stones were in play. So yeah, Steve could spend the rest of his life with Bucky then ... but that means he also would have erased Peggy’s family (and maybe her work). Unless he was the man she married all along.

Either way, it would mean that Steve let Bucky suffer, and let HYDRA infiltrate SHIELD, neither being things I could see him doing.

And if it IS a branched-off timeline, I LOATHE that time theory, because it means NOTHING WE DO MATTERS. There’s always a version of us that’s our worst selves, and people who suffer because of it. That’s hella depressing. (Even if it would explain why I feel like I'm in the wrong world.)

At any rate, the ONLY end I really wanted was to see Steve and Bucky get to be together, no matter how -- “just friends” would have been fine. It was literally the thing I wanted most in the whole damn MCU franchise (aside from seeing Loki be redeemed and then fight alongside the Avengers. *sigh* At least I didn't have high hopes there ...). I would rather Steve had taken Bucky back in time WITH him, even if Steve still married Peggy; time paradox issues aside, I could have lived with that -- yes, even if it meant we didn’t get The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. (And honestly, how much am I supposed to look forward to that anyway, when Sam has been such an *inexplicably* uncompassionate asshole to Bucky in WS and CW? A guy who runs meetings for people with PTSD holds a grudge against a guy who was brutally mind-raped? It's like they made him OOC for the lolz!)

As for “Oh, but Bucky knew and he was okay with it!”

Uh, if he was okay with it, it's just because the writers *wrote* him that way for their own convenience, so they could do this ending. I have been besties with someone most of our lives. We broke up a few times, but we managed to keep finding our way back to each other. We don't live in the same state, so we rarely see each other, but at least we DO sometimes, and we write each other. If this person said they were going to go live somewhere with no way to communicate with me ever again, so they could be with someone they loved, of course I wouldn't want to say don't leave, because I'd want them to be happy, and wouldn't want to stand in the way … but that doesn't mean I'd be “okay”. in the slightest. And I wouldn't WANT other people I care about to go through such pain, much less think it beautiful to watch.

Plus, as I always say, this is fiction -- I don't need *that much* “reality” in my escapism. Temporary angst is my bread-and-butter -- it’s cathartic -- but I need a happy ending to be the payoff. To me, A TRULY happy ending for Steve -- and the one that would have been the best payoff for the narrative we’ve spent a decade watching -- would have been for him to not have to choose between the two people he loved most.

Edited 5/11/19 to add: For all those who are all “Oh, they’re just friends, they aren't gay”, I am more or less fine with sexual Stucky staying fanon; they still love each other platonically, are SOULMATES, ACCORDING TO THE SCREENWRITERS THEMSELVES (Christopher Markus and Steve McFeely), who wrote this as part of the intro to the graphic novel Captain America: White - “…Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale, and no adventure is complete without a love story. And yes, these books have one – the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history, in fact. We’re talking about Steve and Bucky, without smirking or innuendo or raised eyebrows. Platonic though the relationship may be, from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance.  These two men love each other – as any pair of friends who faced exclusion, combat, inhumanity, and death would. Their bond stretches across half the twentieth century. The loss of it gnaws at Steve throughout the modern day, and it slices his heart in half when the Winter Soldier rears his tormented, homicidal head. Just as Jeph and Tim’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each others’ soulmate, if you will, because no one on Earth understands what either of them has been through as well as the other does. The book deals deftly with the strengths and weaknesses that relationship engenders. As the Red Skull himself says to Bucky, “The captain has a … ‘soft spot’ for you. A spot I intend to put a bullet through this very evening.” Soldiers fight for their country. They fight for themselves. They fight for each other. And sometimes they die for these things, too.  The ones who don’t carry the memory of the ones who did for the rest of their days. Steve Rogers is no different.”

So he's gonna leave his soulmate (no matter the nature of their love) behind forever? FUCK THAT NOISE. I am completely baffled ow two writers who see Steve and Bucky that way would go on to give them that ending.

And retouching the whole for Bucky “knows and is okay” thing, the Russos also said that Bucky is too damaged still to be Captain America. Uh, THAT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE THEY REALLY THINK HE’S OKAY.

[amandajoyce118]

Cloak and Dagger Episodes 1-4 Easter Eggs and References

Okay, I promised Easter eggs and references for the episodes, so here they are. I pitched a few Cloak and Dagger related articles for Screen Rant, but the show hasn’t been garnering enough attention for the site to cover it. Moral of this story: if you want to see content about shows you like, and you want writers to get paid for covering shows you like, you have to actually read about the shows you like.

Easter eggs will go up after the new episodes on Thursdays nights. And, obviously, spoilers for the episodes follow.

Series Premiere “First Light” and “Suicide Sprints”

The Marvel Flip

The Marvel Flip that plays comic book art at the opening of every MCU project is pretty standard. Most of the same “whoosh,” “Fooom,” and outlines are used in all of them. But there’s usually a change depending on the project. The flip for Cloak and Dagger has Daggers light knives appear for a split second. I’m sure there’s something related to Cloak as well.

Ballet

Ballet was a big part of Tandy’s life as a little girl in the comics too. In fact, her original white leotard costume was inspired by ones worn during rehearsals. I love that it’s still so much a part of her that she wears ballet slippers as a teenager too.

Mom’s Back Problem

Mom’s drug use is not a result of the things that happen to her and Tandy after Dad dies. Her “back problem” is code for her taking lots of pain pills. Tandy’s mom was already in trouble long before they lost their money and security.

On The Bridge

Tandy’s dad on the phone discussing complete structural collapse and energy dispersion with someone we don’t know? That’s, uh, not so subtle foreshadowing of the “oil rig” that explodes moments later. I’d bet money that the structural issues aren’t a result of them drilling for oil though.

Tandy’s dad being the guy warning the higher-ups, and not being listened to, is also a nod to the levees breaking when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans and the BP rig in the gulf having structural issues that no one ever took care of. The show is shot in New Orleans, and there are a lot of nods to the history throughout the series.

Billy

In the comics, Billy isn’t Ty’s brother. Instead, he’s Ty’s best friend, whom he also witnesses get shot. The effect on Ty is pretty much the same. (He does have a sister in one of the series, but she’s never given a name or anything.)

Roxxon

It’s no coincidence that the truck that runs Tandy and her father off the road belongs to Roxxon. Or that the oil rig belongs to Roxxon, as we find out later. Both Tandy’s father and Ty’s mother work for the company. It’s also pretty evident that whatever was in the truck is what gave Tandy and Ty their abilities as that’s the first manifestation of their powers (right after the shockwave through the water). That’s not how they get them in the comics - instead they’re kidnapped and experimented on. This is better. It would be interesting to see if there’s anyone else in the area that also ended up with abilities. Just saying.

Number 11

Ty’s jersey is #11. That might be a coincidence, but I thought it was cute because, while they were introduced in Spider-Man books and got a four issue mini series after, their first “real” series only lasted 11 issues. After that, they and Doctor Strange were given short stories in a revival of Strange Tales.

St. Sebastian’s

Not a Marvel reference, but I like that the school is named for Saint Sebastian, who had to be killed multiple times because people kept saving him. He supposedly offers protections against plagues and he’s the patron saint of athletes, which fits for a school where basketball is hugely important.

Glowsticks

The club where Tandy finds her rich kid victims? It has glowsticks that look a lot like her light daggers.

Tandy using the knife as a screwdriver later also reminded me that she’s the one with “daggers.”

The Crick-Hits

This band appears on Tandy’s shirt when she goes to the party in the woods and meets Tyrone. They’re an obscure band in Marvel Comics that were meant to be a nod to the Beatles. (I’ll admit that I never would have spotted this if the showrunner hadn’t talked about it in an interview. Apparently, the band will have more nods on the show too.)

Tandy’s Name

There really was a computer named Tandy. In fact, there was a whole company of them. Tandy Corporation started out as a leather company in Texas before diversifying. They owned the now defunct RadioShack.

Tandy the Pickpocket

Her being good with her hands reminds me of the early Skye days on Agents of SHIELD. Skye distracting Mike Peterson with a three card monte of sugar packets while she swipes his ID, anyone?

But really, this moment plays to the role reversal in the show. Tandy picks Ty’s pocket at the party, but in the comics, after they’ve both already run away from home, it’s Ty who thinks about stealing Tandy’s purse when they first cross paths. Ultimately, he decides not to, someone else does, and he ends up getting her purse back for her. The show does a nice twist on their first meeting.

In the comics, Tandy runs away from her privileged life because her mom doesn’t have time for her (among other things) and ends up an addict. Ty runs away from home because the police think he robbed a store, when really, he saw his friend get shot. Ty doesn’t come from a wealthy background in the comics like he does in the show, and it’s a nice change.

The Black Sheet

Ty finds himself teleporting in only a black sheet. Looks kind of like a cloak, no? I mean, I figure this one’s obvious, but I thought it was a nice touch. (Sidenote for those wondering about his powers: in the comics, he actually accesses his power through the Dark Dimension, which is wear Darkforce comes from. We’ve already seen Darkforce AKA Zero Matter in action on Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter. The latter, conveniently, was wear a subsidiary of Roxxon tried to experiment with it and opened a doorway to another dimension. Who’s sensing a connection?)

“I’m afraid even if you do everything perfectly, I’m going to lose you.”

Valid concern for a woman with a black teenage son in America. It had to be said.

Tandy And The Hoodie

In case it’s not clear, Tandy is more sentimental than she lets on. Her favorite hoodie is the one Ty took from his brother and rescued her in. She kept it just like she kept her old ballet bag. Aw.

Emma Lahana

In case anyone is wondering, that detective used to be a Power Ranger. She was the Yellow Ranger in Power Rangers: Dino Thunder. You’re welcome.

The detective, who doesn’t get a lot of lines until the next couple episodes, is named Brigid O’Reilly. In the comics, she’s also a cop that initially goes after Cloak and Dagger, but she also becomes a vigilante herself. Her name is Mayhem.

The Tarp

I love that once he teleports with it, Tyrone decides to test to see if he can use it again. It really looks like a cloak when he wraps himself in it. I also like that he tries it again a few times with other black tarps/fabrics. He’s learning.

Father Delgado

The priest that Tyrone spends so much time with also gave Cloak and Dagger a hand in the comics. He gave them a place to stay when they had nowhere else to go. He also defended them when police came looking for him. Father Delgado traditionally has a church in Hell’s Kitchen in the comics and he’s also hosted the New Mutants and Spider-Man. As the story goes on though, he becomes convinced that Cloak s a demon and that he has to save Dagger from him. He also actually becomes possessed by a demon and tries to kill Dagger, soooo… he should be fun.

“The cumberbatch too.”

It’s okay that he didn’t know it was called a cummerbund. It’s funnier because Cumberbatch is the actor playing Doctor Strange. Whom Cloak and Dagger shared issues of Strange Tales with. It’s fitting. And purposeful. The showrunner confirmed it on twitter.

“We fail. You still profit. Ain’t that America?”

Social commentary at its finest. And true. Which is a little depressing.

Pill Bottles and Gravestones

The showrunner said that pill bottles and gravestones might include names that are Easter eggs, but I didn’t get a good look at any of them, so help a girl out if you did!

S1E03 “Stained Glass”

Tyrone Thinks He’s Cursed

In the comics, there were a lot of people who thought he was cursed. As it turned out, there was a demon in the Dark Dimension that he was connected to. It was that demon that actually “fed” on energy and light, and was part of the reason Tyrone loved being around Tandy when using their abilities.

Damballah Voodoo Tours

Voodoo Tours (and other tours involving historic sites) are a real thing in New Orleans. Damballah though is a being that appears in Marvel comics. Sometimes portrayed as a god, sometimes as a demon, Damballah looks like a snake. He’s appeared in a few obscure issues and was banished by Scarlet Witch.

For anyone who wants even more trivia, Gerry Conway is credited with creating Damballah. Conway also created Punisher, Vrellnexians (you know, the roaches in space on Agents of SHIELD), and made the decision to kill off Gwen Stacy.

The Dolls On The Mantle

During the show livetweet, it was mentioned that fans should pay attention to the detail in the dolls on the mantle. All I’ve got is that they all appear in pairs. Tyrone has been added to the mantle, but Tandy hasn’t yet.

“You have to try something else.”

Look, there is sooooo much symbolism going on in their visions, and I think you can dissect them a million different ways to interpret them the way you see fit. Some of my personal favorites though are Tyrone appearing with what looks like old school plantation wear and dining spread in the middle of the bayou in Tandy’s vision, only to repeatedly end up in modern street clothes when he’s targeted by the cops, while Tandy giving up her dagger for him and adding it to the table gives him a new path. I also love that Tyrone’s vision of Tandy shows that she knows that the more she struggles, the more she gets caught in metaphorical quicksand, and it’s not until he uses his own power on her that she attempts to try something else. Tyrone has the pressure of so many people investing in his future. Tandy has the guilt of bringing Liam into her life. Etc. Etc.

They balance each other out, which isn’t a coincidence, of course. But man, their visions are good.

S1E04 “Call/Response”

“He chased your cop away yesterday.”

I’m throwing this line in here because it shows how condensed the timeline for this series is so far. Episode four is the next day from episode three. (Apparently Tandy heals really quickly since the gash on her head is gone.) The first three hours take place relatively quickly as well. Only a few days have passed in the lives of Tandy and Tyrone and yet everything has changed for them.

Their Powers

Okay, so this episode gives you a better idea of what their actual abilities are.

Tandy is the literal embodiment of hope and light. Yeah, she can grab light daggers out of nothing, but her actual power in the comics is the manipulation of Lightforce (oh, hey, the opposite of Tyrone’s Darkforce, right?). With her ability in the comics, she can create daggers from light, but she also stores that energy inside of herself. It builds up over time, and if she doesn’t use it every so often, it discharges on its own and she has no control over it. Her daggers can be used to drain someone’s energy in the comics and also to manipulate their “life force” to a new direction, giving them a glimpse at what their life would be like if they made a different choice. Tandy being able to see people’s hopes when she touches them is the show’s take on that.

Tyrone’s ability to get into people’s nightmares is an example of him being the opposite of Tandy, of course. In the comics, he doesn’t have that ability, but I think it’s a nice touch for the show. Instead, he can channel Darkforce and absorb people’s energy with it. He can become intangible using it, and he can access the Dark Dimension to teleport, of course. Something we haven’t seen on the show yet is that he can also teleport other people through the Dark Dimension, but because it’s so dangerous, Tandy is usually the only one to accompany him. Her Lightforce offers her a measure of protection. Tyrone making the comment that his ability seems to bring him to Tandy is likely a nod to his Darkforce being drawn to her in the comics. The demon that controls the Dark Dimension likes to absorb her Lightforce.

“Character is what you do when no one else is watching.”

I can’t decide if Tandy’s dad was paraphrasing writer C.S. Lewis or UCLA basketball coach John Wooden here, who both said a variation of this. Probably the latter is what the show’s writers were going for since Tyrone plays basketball.

Stashing the Bike

On twitter, the showrunner mentioned that the debris where Tyrone tosses his bike holds some clues, but honestly, I didn’t notice anything that stood out. I figured I’d note it in case anyone else did.

Mardis Gras Indians

This group is the real deal. Essentially a secret society that’s not so secret in New Orleans, the group is made up of Black Americans who partake in the carnival. Their parade during Mardis Gras is one of the biggest. You want to learn more about the history of the group, this is a pretty good start.

“Shit goes boom.”

This made me laugh a little bit because Olivia Holt used to be on a Disney show called Kickin’ It where her character used the phrase “boom goes the dynamite” all the time. The girl likes a good use of the word “boom.”

Founded 1982

This phrase appears on one of the flags in the Red Hawk’s place. When did Cloak and Dagger make their comic book debut? You guessed it, 1982.

Cloak

While it’s sad (and also sweet) that Tyrone picks Billy’s cloak from the room of failures, I love that it looks like his comic book cloak come to life. Where the beadwork is references where most artists use different shading to show changes in light and it’s just perfect.

I also love his dad’s speech about the costumes giving them strength. That’s why superheroes wear what they do.

Tandy Likes Tyrone’s Eyes

I just think it’s cute that she already told him she liked the way his jacket hangs on his shoulders in an earlier episode and now she likes his eyes. She’s not shy. She’s honest. It’s nice. In fact, all of the women in this show are, and it’s a nice change from the usual idea of women on TV that have to be cryptic with the men around them.

Greg’s Death

We see Greg killed by the water delivery person, but the cards for the episode outline shared on twitter say that the “unseen assailant” was going to be his wife. I’m curious if his estranged wife will still play a part in the episodes ahead or not.

Check Your Privilege

Has another Marvel series ever been so timely? Tandy denied action because she’s a woman doing what she has to do to get by. Tyrone targeted by literally everyone because of the color of his skin. Both of them trying to atone for the things they think are their fault, but going about it in very different ways. So. Good.

[yellowfeather84]

Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe know they've got something special: From the complicated, passionate characters Jamie Fraser and Claire Randall they get to play on-screen, to the close friendship they've developed off-screen, Outlander has changed their lives. And they're not alone: Since the Starz hit premiered in 2014, fans have been rabid for all things Outlander—Heughligans debate the merits of Sam's man bun, shippers argue they're a couple in real life, and dedicated social media accounts document every last detail of Jamie and Claire's saga.

So when Sam Heughan and Caitriona Balfe decided to visit the ELLE.com offices, I knew I needed the help of someone whose fandom went beyond my own appreciation for the show to an expert-bordering-on-obsessive level—the kind of person who would know Claire should be referred to as "Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser," not "Claire Randall," in the above paragraph, and be mad about the mistake. I needed a super fan, and lucky for me, I happen to be related to one of the biggest out there: Pat Holmes, my mother.

Here, an Outlander super fan (and her daughter) talk to the show's stars about their friendship, Jamie and Claire's evolutions, and how love can survive a 20-year separation.

Warning: This post contains mild spoilers for season three of Outlander.

I just watched the first episode of this season—it's amazing, very emotional.

Sam: It's very sad, actually.

Caitriona: It is very sad. All of the Culloden stuff is just so brilliant.

For the first time, you weren’t in the episodes together. So what it was like when you saw it, for you, Sam, to watch Caitriona—and Caitriona, to watch how Sam did?

C: It was great, because I think we both purposely didn’t read those parts of the script. It’s nice to be able to remove yourself from it, because normally you’re in it so much, and it’s hard to be objective and look at something from the perspective of a viewer. There was a lot of surprise, because I didn’t realize that they would shoot it that way—it's so much darker, and Sam's performance was so amazing. I loved it, and it was really heartbreaking. The way they edited it, going back and forth and bringing it to where Jamie doesn’t really know what’s happening, he doesn’t know whether he’s alive or dead, and interspersing that with moments that happened before and after, I thought was really beautiful.

S: I only recently saw it and it was just remarkable. I think that Caitriona and Tobias [Menzies] are amazing together, and it's just so grown up and sad. They’re doing everything for their daughter and trying to work through it, but there’s heartache there. It was a great script and Ron [D. Moore] did wonderful with the writing. It’s really the beginning—we say goodbye to Scotland and a lot of the characters there.

You’re talking about the 20 years your characters spend apart, and they change a lot. What did those 20 years do to them?

C: One of the huge things I played with Claire is that she shelved a side of herself for 20 years. The way we worked it out with the writers is that initially Claire tries to have a relationship with Frank, but after a year and a half, they make an arrangement and they live separate lives within the same house. Claire has always been a very sexual person, a very passionate person, and losing the person that means the most to you is one thing, but losing a part of her DNA or a part of who makes her who she is had a real effect on how she carries herself and interacts with people. She became focused on her career and daughter but there’s a rigidity to her, and I think she’s lost some of that freedom and joy she has when she's around Jamie.

What happens to Jamie?

S: He obviously loses the love of his life and he expects to die. And when he doesn’t, he goes through this process of all the phases of grief and mourning: Ultimately, why is he there and what does he have to live for? He regresses into a shell of who he is and it takes him a long time to rediscover himself; he doesn’t want to be Jamie Fraser anymore. He wants to hide in the shadows, not because he’s an outlaw or a prisoner, but he wants to live in the memory of her.

Time is probably the best healer and it does take a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that she's actually gone. He goes on an insane journey to see if she’s still alive or possibly has come back into his life, and when he really finds out that she hasn’t, he can move on. And he does—he creates a new life for himself.

Is he a whole person?

S: Of course he’s not. He’s always loved her and always had a space in his heart for her, but he rebuilds himself.

Is there anything left of the old Jamie?

S: He’s still there, but he has to go through a lot of growing up. Not giving away too many spoilers, but he becomes a father, he gains his liberty, and finds peace within himself with who he is without her. I think that’s important, actually. He finds himself.

And Claire does too?

C: I think what I love about her is that she is a survivor, so even though there’s a part of her that has been shelved—her heart is definitely hardened and broken—but that she does figure out a way to create a successful life. That’s important about both these characters: Even though this relationship and this love that they experienced are bigger than any of us could hope to have, I suppose, that they don’t make it their single defining characteristic. To honor that relationship and the people that they are, they make the best of the lives they have.

S: They’re at their best when they’re together. They’re a team, they’re a couple. And that’s when they have the most life-affirming moments.

Are they still in love 20 years later? How do you keep a love going for 20 years when you don't even see each other?

C: Yes, because I think when you experience something that strong, it doesn’t fade away. You can keep it in a certain place, but it doesn’t diminish.

S: That’s what they do. They eventually sort of come to terms with each other passing, but there’s always that part of them that they keep dear to them. So when they do reunite it’s like, Oh wow, you’re back, and they fall back into their own routine until they realize that they have changed and have become different people.

C: When somebody cherishes a memory like that, you put them on a pedestal and nobody else can come close. You’re looking at it through rose-tinted glasses. When they first meet, it’s that first rush of love and it’s like that old time. And then what they have to do is dismantle that pedestal and illusion they’re created and find a way of falling in love with the people they are now.

They have great sex scenes in the book, but they have fights too. Which is more fun?

C: Fights!

S: Fights. Always. It’s gotten physical at times.

C: Um, yeah!

S: But it’s great. Caitriona is wonderful to work with, so they're the scenes we do cherish and enjoy, don't we, because we get to go at it.

C: I think the thing about these two people is they love so passionately and they fight so passionately. They live on this really fierce frequency and it’s great, because we do like to go for it. We know each other so well that we know how to push each other’s buttons—it's good, it's fun.

Ever go too far with that?

C: I mean, I’ve landed across the room on my ass this season, which was rather painful. I come away with quite a few injuries.

S: They're both very stubborn, and she’s very opinionated.

...Claire or Caitriona?

S: [Laughing] Aaand moving on from that! No, I enjoy those scenes. And the sex scenes are what they are. It’s an important part of the story and definitely this season there are a lot more.

I think the fans are happy. They weren't too happy with season two, because there weren't very many.

C: We were telling a different story then. I do think that the beauty of Diana [Gabaldon]’s books is that they're about a relationship that spans decades. It’s important to show every cycle of that relationship and not to just repeat one over and over again. What we set out to do is not to just have sex for sex’s sake, but have it tell something about the couple and where they are in the relationship and the point to the story. And if you’re just having sex scenes thrown in everywhere, then they lose their impact. So last season it was about two people who weren’t in a groove with each other and were feeling off-kilter. So other things became their focus, like changing history, which is a big thing.

It doesn’t look like you aged that much in the end of season two.

C: I have some grey in my hair. It's funny, I think we all assumed that we would do a bit more. But she’s only 50. He’s only in his mid-40s.

S: Yeah, when you say it like that...

C: It's not like they’re so much older. The difference between 30, when we last saw her, and 50 is not that huge when you look around. We looked around at our makeup department and the women who were 47, 48, 49 looked great. I think the decision was to play with the hair and more about how time has changed them internally rather than externally. The '60s makeup and '60s costume definitely help give her more authority—she just feels a little bit older in that way. But it’s hard then when you go back to the no-makeup look of the 1700s to tie that in. I was just really tired and haggard myself, so they’re all just mine, those wrinkles.

I thought

in the promo

, in the shot when you were in Edinburgh, about to go into the print shop, you looked so vulnerable and so luminous, but it’s a different Claire. You’ve left the '60s and the Jackie Kennedy look. I have to say, you are both great in this, you do a lot with the emotion in your faces.

S: Well, in that moment, she's just put everything on the line, hasn't she? She doesn’t know how he’s going to react.

C: For me, one of the hardest things to wrap my head around this season was Claire leaving her daughter. And that was such a huge part. Initially when we got our scripts, it was Claire with Roger. And I remember saying to the writers: "Hold on a minute, it has to be with Brianna, because that’s the relationship, that’s the price that she’s paying." To make that sacrifice—you could poll a hundred mothers, and how many mothers would be able to do that? That’s the ultimate price that she pays.

You guys are really close friends. So what do you like about each other? And you can also tell me what you dislike...

S: [Laughing] Long list!

C: I mean, Sam’s just so kind. He’s a really good friend. He always checks in. I don’t know, he has one of the biggest hearts and smallest egos that I know.

[Sam and Caitriona high five]

S: Absolute same.

C: [Laughing] You can't just pick my answer!

S: No, she’s not only a great actress, she's a great friend and a great advice giver, too. And we have each other's backs. It’s a remarkable journey that we’ve been on, starting this together, being thrown in the deep end and being like, Okay! We're going to do this together. It’s a nice bond and I think people are fascinated by it, in a weird way—I know the fans are. We respect each other and have got each other's backs. I’m very fortunate that we have that, it’s great.

How many more will you do? Will you do them all if they want?

C: It depends. If they want, is the big...we’ve signed up for quite a few.

S: We've definitely got this year and then I guess they’ll see.

C: It depends on if they want to keep making them. It depends on if we keep the standard and quality up. I think that's important to everyone, you don’t want to just churn something out.

S: I feel this season is possibly the strongest. The first season was amazing; it was the beginning. And the second season, there were things I loved and things I didn't. But I think this season—Outlander as an adventure, as a historical romance, it keeps moving forward. Viewers are going to be like, Wooow.

C: Their heads are going to spin. They’re going to be like, Where are we now?!

It’s challenging for you to be in Africa, in Scotland, in Boston, in Jamaica, in the middle of the ocean.

S: It's like, What show is this?!

C: It is challenging, the peripheral stuff, but as long as we keep the relationship at the center, it doesn’t matter, because that’s the anchor.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 12/11/20 - MINARI, THE MIDNIGHT SKY, LET THEM ALL TALK, WILD MOUNTAIN THYME, PARALLEL, WANDER DARKLY and More!

Honestly, I almost didn’t write a column this week for reasons I’ll probably be ranting about for a few more months, but the long and short of it is that I’ve now been writing movie reviews for 19 years, as well as writing a weekly column through most of that time, and I’m kind of sick of working my ass off, usually for very little money, and just not getting anything out of it.

This mainly came as I crossed 200 reviews for the year a few weeks back. As I was preparing to write this week’s column, Rotten Tomatoes, where most of my reviews have been available as FREE content for the past 17 years, decided to upgrade a number of critics to be “Top Critics”… but not yours truly. I have a lot more to say about this but don’t want to waste any more of my time or anger right now. I will be wrapping this column up and taking some time off for a month in January and deciding whether I want to keep wasting my time every week for no money and little feedback. It really just isn’t worth it anymore.

Fortunately, I saw a few good movies this week, and more than a few bad, so let’s start with one of the good ones, shall we?

This week’s “Featured Flick” is Lee Isaac Chung’s MINARI (A24), which like Nomadland last week will get some sort of virtual cinema release in New York and L.A., presumably that can be seen across the country. It will then get its official release on February 12, 2021.

The movie stars Steven Yeun from The Walking Dead as Jacob, a Korean father who brings his family to an Arkansas house in the middle of nowhere in the ‘80s, hoping to start a farm. His wife Monica (Yeri Han) is not happy with this decision but their kids Anne (Noel Cho) and David (Alan S. Kim) try to adjust to the new life. Things aren’t going well but then Monica’s mother Soonja (Yuh-jung Youn) shows up, that just adds more pressure on Jacob, and the kids, especially David, who hates the quirky older woman who acts nothing like a grandmother.

I’d been hearing about Minari going all the way back to its debut at Sundance, and though I remained skeptical, I finally saw it a few months ago an again over the weekend, and it’s one of my favorite films of the year, probably Top 5. To me, it’s somewhat in the vein of The Farewell, my number 1 movie of 2019, vs. the Oscar Best Picture winner, Parasite. It’s a very personal story for Chung who based some of the experiences on his own childhood, which once again proves the adage that if you’re going to write a movie, make it personal since that’s the most likely to connect with others. (Not always true, but it was great advice when I was given it.)

It takes a little time to understand why Minari is so beloved, since Chung takes an interesting approach where we see various scenes that don’t necessarily seem to tie into some sort of plot. Characters like Will Patton’s ultra-religious zealot who seems to be a bit lost when Jacob takes him on to help with his farm. Otherwise, we see various character interactions as things get tenser and tenser between Jacob and Monica, who are fighting all the time. Although the drama does get intense at times, there’s a lot of joyful and fun moments, particularly those involving the wacky grandmother and her dysfunctional relationship with her grandson. I also enjoyed the relationship between the two kids where Anne is always protective of her younger brother, who has some sort of heart illness. 

It's a beautiful movie with an equally gorgeous score, but it’s really in the last 20 minutes or so when we start to see where Chung has been going with all these seemingly disparate elements, which builds up to a wonderful ending. Yeun is terrific, and the fact he reminded me of my own father -- we’re neither Korean nor have I ever been to Arkansas -- shows why his subdued performance is so effective. Overall, the film proves that however many awful things life might throw at you, your family can always fix things. I love that message, and I hope others will find and love this as well.

After its one week in virtual cinema, Minari will get an expanded theatrical release starting February 12… hopefully, New York City theaters will be open by then and I can see it in a theater.

Film at Lincoln Center in New York also is starting its 49th annual “New Directors/New Films” series, which was delayed from March, although being virtual, the movies in it can also be viewed nationwide for the first time. I feel like a lot of movies that were scheduled to play ND/NF ended up being released already but there should be some interesting things in there.

George Clooney’s latest film THE MIDNIGHT SKY is based on Lily Brooks-Dalton’s novel Good Morning, Midnight, in which he plays Augustine, a scientist dying on his own at the Barbeau Observatory in the Arctic, who has to warn a group of astronauts returning to earth that it’s no longer safe for them to return.

Clooney has made a lot of good and great movies over the years, so that I’m one of those people anxiously ≠waiting for him to make something great again after the disappointment of Suburbicon. Midnight Sky is definitely one step forward and a few steps back, as it’s impossible not to think of previous Clooney movies like Solaris and Gravity, as well as The Martian and Passengers and Ad Astra. Yes, we somehow have gotten to the point where every year there’s some sort of space movie, and while Midnight Sky at its best is better than Solaris or Ad Astra (sorry, but I was not a fan), there’s enough that’s so quizzical and confounding I’m not sure people will be able to follow what’s going on.

Much of the first half of the movie involves Clooney’s Augustine alone at the Artic base interacting with a little girl (Caoillin Springall) who is completely silent. If it’s ever explained what the girl represents, I must have missed it. There are also flashbacks to Augustine’s earlier career as a scientist and explorer played by a somewhat only semi-impressive Clooney kinda look-alike in Ethan Peck.

The best moments of the movie involve the crew of astronauts on the spaceship Ether, including Felicity Jones and David Oyelowo, who are in a relationship, Demián Bichir, Kyle Chandler and Tiffany Boone, as they deal with various issues. This is really where comparisons to Gravity and The Martian are earned, but that’s such a mighty quintet of actors that these sections are far more interesting than sullen bearded Clooney with his young ward. The production design and visual FX in these portions of the film are also quite impressive.

The Midnight Sky throws a lot at the viewer but then tries too hard to be quizzical and enigmatic about how all of it ties together until the very end. I feel that some of Clooney’s more mainstream fans will be quite confounded and possibly even disappointed. The Midnight Sky is Clooney taking a swing and only partially connecting, and it might require multiple viewings to feel like it’s a worthy addition to his filmography.

Either way, The Midnight Sky will open theatrically in select cities this week and then be on Netflix on December 23, just in time for depressing everyone on Christmas!

Also hitting Netflix streaming this week is Ryan Murphy’s musical THE PROM, which I reviewed last week. It’s great, I loved it, and can’t wait to watch it again!

Next up is Clooney’s pal Steven Soderbergh, whose new movie LET THEM ALL TALK, will premiere on HBO Max this Thursday, December 10. It stars Meryl Streep as renowned writer Alice who is called to England to receive a prestigious literary award. Since she doesn’t fly, she’s booked on a cross-Atlantic trip on the Queen Mary II ship. Alice decides to bring her old friend Roberta (Candice Bergen)—whom hasn’t spoken to her in three decades--and Susan (Dianne Wiest) as well as her nephew Tyler (Lucas Hedges) to serve as her assistant so she can focus on her writing. Little does she know that her young agent Karen (Gemma Chan) is also on the ship hoping to find out what Alice is writing about with the help of Tyler, who is quite smitten with her.  

I’m not sure where to begin with one of week’s films that I probably had the highest expectations and ended up leaving me with the most utter disappointment. I wasn’t really that crazy about last year’s The Laundromat, and I’ve generally found Soderbergh’s work to be hit or miss over the last few years. I loved his thriller Unsanefor instance, and the Magic Mike movies were fun. This one, written by author Deborah Eisenberg, is just plain boring for most of it, offering nothing particularly interesting or insightful, as it’s basically another movie where Streep is playing a character who moans about how difficult her life is and how much better everyone else has it. I mean, if I wanted that shit, I’d spend more time on Twitter than I already do. And then there’s Hedges, one of my favorite young actors over the past few years, who seems to have fallen into a niche playing

In fact, my favorite aspect of the film was Gemma Chan, who plays a character with far more depth and dimension than normal, although much of her role is just to spy on Alice and fend of the subtle advances by the much younger Tyler. The two actors have some fun scenes together, far more lively than anything involving the older actresses, but you always know where it’s going. It’s kind of awkward and painful to watch Hedges bomb so hard. (At least he fared better playing a similar role in French Exit, but in that one, his love interest was Danielle Macdonald.)

The movie looks good with Soderbergh handling his own camera duties and cinematography as usual, and it’s scored with the same hipster jazz he might have used in one of his Ocean movies, but the movie just goes on and on and on, and it hs one of the most “what the fuck?” moments you’ll see this year.

If you can imagine one of The Trip movies without any of the laughs or the delicious food porn…but on a ship, that’s basically what you end up with. More than once while watching Soderbergh’s movie, I was ready to abandon ship.

And from pretty bad, we go to much, MUCH worse. Do you know what thyme it is? It’s WILD MOUNTAIN THYME!!!

John Patrick Shanley adapts his own play Outside Mullingar into a film that will be released in theaters and On Demand by Bleeker Street this Friday, and believe me, its biggest problems isn’t some of the awful Irish accents on display, but they certainly don’t help. Emily Blunt plays Rosemary and Jamie Dornan is Anthony, childhood friends who live down the street from each other in their Irish farming community. When they grow up, Rosemary’s father dies leaving her with a plot of land that forces Anthony and his father Tony (Christopher Walken) to have to use a gate to get to their home. Remember this gate, because it’s going to be mentioned so much over the course of the movie, you’ll wonder why the movie wasn’t called “Wild Mountain Gate.” (It’s actually named after a song that Blunt’s character sings for no apparent reason.)

First, you’ll have to get past the odd choice of the very non-Irish Walken in a key role as the dead narrator of the story with that aforementioned horrid accent. It won’t take long for you to start scratching your head how a noted playwright like Shanley could write such a horrible screenplay. Soon after, you’ll wonder how he convinced someone to finance making it into a movie. I’m normally a pretty big fan of Blunt, but this movie and role might be one of her biggest missteps as an actor to date. As a child, Rosemary was told by her father that she was the White Swan in Swan Lake, so of course that will lead to

It’s not long before Jon Hamm shows up as one of Anthony’s distant relatives who also has interest in Rosemary’s plot of land – nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Pretty soon we’re thrust into awkward love triangle rom-com that falls somewhere between Leap Year and The Holiday. Not exactly something you’d expect from the filmmaker behind the drama Doubt that produced multiple Oscar nominations for the cast, eh?

Instead, Shanley ends up trying to foist the… I don’t want to call it chemistry. What is the exact opposite of chemistry? Between Blunt and Dorman with one long boring conversation after another. At one point, they’re having a romantic chat about suicide, the next Anthony is telling Rosemary that he thinks he’s a honeybee. I mean, what the holy fuck?

Honestly, the whole thing is just grueling to watch, because you wonder how so much talent could falter so badly, particularly Shanley? Even the recent Shane MacGowan doc was a far more romantic take on Irish farming than this could ever possibly be.

One of the nicer surprises of the week is the sci-fi thriller PARALLEL (Vertical), which will be in theaters and On Demand this Friday, and it’s likely to be missed by a lot of people who would enjoy it. Directed by Isaac Ezban from a screenplay by Scott Blaszak, it follows four young people working in the tech sector of Seattle who discover a mirror in a hidden section of the house they’re renting that apparently allows them to experience other dimensions and other versions of their lives. Soon, they’re experimenting with different ways they can make money and achieve fame, although not all of them are cool about how they’re doing it.

Although Parallel opens like a home invasion thriller featuring the great Kathleen Quinlan, we soon learn that it’s a red herring before we meet the quartet of young entepreneurs working on a parking app with an almost impossible deadline. When they find the mirror that leads into an alternative dimension, they immediately start to experiment with figuring out what is happening exactly, and once they do, they realize they can make money by stealing from “alts” i.e. other versions of themselves. Soon, their success starts driving them insane with a desire for even more money and power.

Ezban’s movie benefits from a talented mostly unknown cast, including Martin Wallstrom and Mark O’Brien as boisterous alpha males. Georgia King’s artist Leena is far more than a love interest, although she does become an obsession for one of them eventually – and man, does she remind me of a young Reese Witherspoon. British actor Aml Ameen plays Devin, whose father committed suicide after being accused of corruption, and he’s also wary of some of the activities his friends get up to. There’s also the quartet’s main competitor Seth who gets suspicious of their success as they start producing all sorts of incredible technical inventions.

Parallel is a pretty twisted sci-fi movie that in some way reminded me of the ‘90s thriller Flatliners and even Primer a little bit, but the mirror aspect to it also will draw comparisons to Oculus, one of Mike Flanagan’s cool earlier movies. It doesn’t take long for the twists to start flying at the viewer, and once they do, your mind will be boggled and not necessarily in a bad way. I wouldn’t want to even begin sharing some of the crazy places where the film goes, but even gore fans won’t be disappointed by some of it.

It’s a real shame this terrific movie has floundered without distribution or deserved attention for so long, because there’s absolutely no question in my mind that Jason Blum should be talking to Ezban and Blaszk about doing something together. Parallel is the type of quality high-concept thriller Blumhouse thrives upon.

Another nice surprise this week was Ekwa Msangi’s FAREWELL AMOR (IFC Films), which debuted at Sundance earlier this year and barely got any attention, which is a real shame. It’s expanded from her earlier short, and it’s about an Angolan immigrant named Walter (Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine), who is reunited with his wife Esther (Zainab Jah) and daughter Sylvia (Jayme Lawson) after 17 years. As they share a small New York apartment, Walter and Esther try to rekindle their romance while Sylvia tries to adjust to an American school.

Msangi’s film opens at Newark airport where the small family is reunited, Walter not having seen either wife or daughter in a decade and a half. He’s working as a cab driver, and he’s ready to rekindle the old flame and meet his daughter who was only a baby when he moved to the States. (Little does Esther know that Walter was in a relationship with another woman, a nurse who isn’t too happy about having to leave Walter’s life.)

One of the things Msangi does to keep things interesting is that she splits the film into three sections, one for each character that focuses specifically on them, and the story gets infinitely interesting as we learn more about each of them. Walter is somewhat at odds with doing the right thing by his wife and daughter, who is wanting to explore her love of dance that her ultra-religious mother forebids. For some reason, I thought Sylvia’s section would be the most interesting as she deals with the trials of being a teenager, but then Esther’s section shows her to be a far more layered character we might have assumed earlier. She also befriends a neighbor woman played by Joie Lee that helps her expand. The thing is that all three are clearly good people, and you never feel as if one is doing something bad in relation to the others.

Farewell Amor is a quiet but beautiful film that explores an immigrant story in a far different way than we’ve seen before. It’s a discovery film, and I hope people will not just presume it won’t hold their interest. It’s a wonderfully relatable human story, similar to Tom McCarthy’s The Visitor.

Sienna Miller and Diego Luna star in Tara Miele’s psychological drama WANDER DARKLY (Lionsgate), playing Adrienne and Matteo, a couple who recently had a baby. After they get into a horrible car accident while arguing, they end up revisiting the highs and lows of their relationship as Adrienne believes either she or Matteo or both are dead.

This is a surprisingly stranger film than I expected, delving into the supernatural not quite in the way as something like Wes Craven’s Serpent and the Rainbow or Jacob’s Ladder, but having a few elements in common. Although I haven’t seen Miele’s other films, this one feels very much like something Drake Doremus might have made to the point where I’m not sure I could say I fully understood what was happening from one moment to the next. The film seems to be exploring a couple’s relationship through a horrible tragedy but does in a strange way.

With the emotional performances by the two leads being enhanced by an amazing score by Alex Weston (who also scored The Farewell last year), Wander Darkly is more than anything, a performance piece with a decent script and further proof Miller continues to be one of the most underrated actresses working today. Despite those great performances, the movie’s strange premise might be too metaphysical and intense in execution for everyone to be along for the entire ride. In that sense, I probably liked last week’s Black Bear just slightly more.

I reviewed Steve McQueen’s ALEX WHEATLE (Amazon Prime Video) in last week’s column, and that will hit Amazon Prime this Friday, but I think I’m going to save Education, the last film in his “Small Axe Anthology” for next week’s column.  I was also hoping to review Tom Moore and Ross Stewart’s WOLFWALKERS (Apple+) this week, since it premieres on Apple TV+ on Friday, but I just couldn’t get to it. Story of my life.

I’m not sure if I could tell you how many of the Ip Man movies I’ve seen over the past 12 or so years, many of which I saw at the New York Asian Film Festival, but Ip Man is indeed back after last year’s Ip Man: The Finale, but that’s because IP MAN: KUNG FU MASTER (Magnet/Magnolia Pictures) is part of the spin-off prologue series starring Dennis (Yu-Hang) To, who looked enough like a younger Donnie Yen to start a whole sub-franchise. This one is directed by Liming Li, who is also directing a Young Ip Man: Crisis Time prequel movie that presumably stars someone younger than both Yen and To. Got it?

Okay, maybe this needs a little more explaining, although the nice thing about Kung Fu Master is that it works perfectly fine as a stand-alone in case you’ve never seen any of the other movies. This one takes place in the ‘40s as Man is a police captain in Foshan, dealing with the ever-present gang known as The Axes.  He’s framed for murder when the leader of the gang dies in prison, and his daughter, Miss Qingchuan (Wanliruo Xin), wanting revenge as she takes over the gang. Ip Man has other issues like being disgraced as a police officer and then the arrival of the Japanese army who have their own agenda. Ip Man ends up donning a mask to become the Black Knight to fight crime in another way.

I make no bones about my love of martial arts films when they’re not stupid or hoaky and sadly, the Donnie Yen franchise was getting by last year’s so-called “finale.” Kung Fu Master starts out with an amazing action scene of To fighting off what seems like hundred of axe-wielding gangsters, and it barely lets up, constantly throwing interesting and thoroughly entertaining fights at the viewer. Eventually, there’s a bounty on Ip Man’s head with whoever kills becoming leader of the Axes, but he has other issues, like his wife giving birth to their baby boy, just as the police chief and force shows up to arrest him. Cutting quickly between childbirth and kung fu action is just one of the interesting things Director Li does to make his Ip Man debut.

The resemblance between Dennis To and Donnie Yen is more than just facial as his wushu techniques are equally impressive, and sure, there’s a few more dramatic moments between Ip Man and his wife, but it’s Xin’s Miss Qingchuan who ends up being more of a formidable counter to To in just about every way, including a few fight scenes where axes are flying through the air.

Ip Man Kung Fu Master is fairly short, less than 90 minutes, but it still feels long because it feels like it finds a good ending, and then tacks on an epilogue and then another one. There were times I thought it might end on a cliffhanger to set up Ip Man’s inevitable next movie. The abundance of evil antagonists Ip Man must fight in this one tends to become a bit much, but it’s hard not to be thrilled by the martial arts on display and Li’s terrifically stylish visuals that keeps the movie interesting.

Ip Man Kung Fu Master will be available digitally Friday through a variety of platforms.

Filmmaker Adam Egypt Mortimer, who released Daniel Isn’t Real last year, returns with ARCHENEMY (RLJEfilms), starring Joe Manganiello as Max Fist, who claims to be a hero from another dimension that fell to earth. He ends up spending time with a teen brother and sister, Hamster (Skylan Brooks) and Indigo (Zelee Griggs) who want to clean the streets of the local drug syndicate, led by The Manager (Glenn Howerton from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia). It’s a strange and quirky dark superhero movie that includes appearances by the likes of Paul Scheer and Amy Seimetz, and though I ran out of time to review, I do have an interview with Mortimer at Below the Line.

Time to get to some docs, and there are definitely some you’ll want to check out, although I don’t have as much time to write that much about them, and some of them I wasn’t able to watch yet.

Another great doc out of the September festival circuit is Ryan White’s ASSASSINS (Greenwich Entertainment), which follows the assassination of Kim Jong-nam, half-brother to North Korean leader Kim Jon-un in 2017 at a busy airport in Malaysia by two young women. Although the two women had never met before, they were jointly charged with attacking the North Korean ex-pat with a lethal nerve gas called VX but White’s investigation takes him all over South-East Asia trying to get answers to how the two women were tricked into committing the assassination. This is a pretty masterful display of doc filmmaking by White, not just in the sense of the way the story is paced and edited like a good political thriller, but it’s one that keeps the viewer invested even as the last act deals with the trial of the two young women and the bond that forms between them.

I’ll have more about this film over on Below the Line sometime very soon, but it hits theaters and virtual cinema this Friday and then it will be on PVOD on January 15

I saw Seamus Murphy’s doc PJ HARVEY: A DOG CALLED MONEY way back in March when it was supposed to open at New York’s Film Forum, but it’s finally getting a virtual cinema release there. Murphy travelled across Afghanistan, Kosovo and Washington DC with singer/songwriter PJ Harvey as she prepared material for her 2015 album, The Hope Six Million Project, which she produced with Flood and John Parish as an installation at Somerset House where people can walk by and view the recording process.  This is an amazing doc that allows you into the process of writing for an amazing recording artist who has given Murphy and the viewer unprecedented access into her creativity. I had fully lost track of Harvey over the years, even though I was a huge fan of hers when she first hit these shores – in fact, I saw her play a concert where Radiohead opened for her… and there as another band (Gallon Drunk) after them! Because of that, I wasn’t familiar with the album, but I just love good music docs, especially ones that take us behind the scenes of a talented artist, and Murphy has created quite a fascinating film even outside the recording studio, whether it’s following Harvey around (narrated by her own poetic observations) but also with commentary by others they encounter. I found the Washington DC segments particularly interesting, since that’s the one place where I’ve spent the most time.  An absolutely fantastic doc whether you’re a fan of Harvey’s or not.

Also playing in the Film Forum’s Virtual Cinema this week is Thomas Balmés’ SING ME A SONG, the filmmaker’s second doc set in the Himalayan village of Bhutan that’s been isolated for centuries. He returns to update on Peyangki, the 8-year-old Buddhist monk from his 2014 film Happiness, now a teenager who has fallen under the sway of technology including pop music and smartphone games, as he begins a WeChat romance with a young singer, which makes him consider leaving the monastery.

Also premiering on Netflix this Friday is Jim Stern and Fernando Villena’s doc GIVING VOICE, tying into the streaming premiere of August Wilson’s Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom next week. It follows six student actors auditioning for the August Wilson Monologue Competition, which brings thousands of students from twelve U.S. cities together to perform the Pulitzer Prize winner’s work.

Joshua Faudem’s doc THE LAST SERMON (Gravitas Ventures/Will Kennan) follows the director and Jack Baxter as they follow 14 years after making their 2004 documentary Blues by the Beach, in which the two ended up in a terrorist attack by British Nationals on Mike’s Place, a bar next door to the National Embassy on Tel Aviv. This event sends Baxter and Faudem across Europe to refugee camps and mosques in order to understand the essence of Islam and the truth about the international terrorists that almost killed them.

Drew Barrymore plays a dual role in THE STAND-IN (Saban Films), directed by Jamie Babbitt (But I’m a Cheerleader). While under normal circumstances, Wild Mountain Thyme would have been the dog of the week, then this movie came along. Yikes. Barrymore plays Candy Black, a comedy star best known for her pratfalls in bad movies (ala Melissa McCarthy). She also plays Paula, Candy’s much sweeter and almost identical stand-in. Candy is a nightmare to work with and after a fall from grace, she holes herself up in her Long Island Estate for five years, while Paula’s own fortunes falter without having that work. I’m sure you can figure out where it goes from there.

Yes, folks, we have what is now one of the worst iterations of a Tale of Two Cities not made by Barrymore’s frequent co-star Adam Sandler, although there are times where you wonder if she is actually playing a version of Sandler with Candy. Eventually, either Candy or Paula or both decide that Paula can take Candy’s place in her attempt to return to work, but the results are just far worse than The Hottie or the Nottie, as Paula also stands in for Candy on dates with the man she’s fallen in love with online through their love of woodworking. (I didn’t make that up.) You almost always know where it’s going and can’t help but groan when you’re right.

Basically, there’s one Drew that’s glammed-down and the other talking in an annoying wispy voice, so there really isn’t getting away from the awfulness even for a second.The thing is that, like the worst comedies, The Stand In is not funny, and it’s sad to see a decent director like Babbitt being dragged into this one. It’s just a terrible overused premise that’s executed quite poorly. Not only that, but the movie also co-stars TJ Miller, who has fallen so far from grace himself, that it’s shocking to see him in another movie.

Besides guaranteeing Barrymore a double-dose Razzie nomination, The Stand In also leaves her with cow shit on her face, much like her character.

Movies I just didn’t have time to get to this week:

Funny Boy (Array/Netflix) Gunda (NEON) Safety (Disney+) Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart (HBO Max) 40 Years a Prisoner (HBO Docs) Through the Night (Longshot Factory) To the Ends of the Earth (KimStim) Rompan Todo: The History of Rock in Latin America (Netflix) The Wilds (Prime Video) Nasrin (Virgil Films) Finding Ying Yin

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have bothered to read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or drop me a note or tweet on Twitter. I love hearing from readers … honest!

[juliebooks]

Favorite Books of 2017

It’s 2018!!!! Last year I read 20 books, so in honor of 2017 I picked my favorite reads out of this 20 books. Hope you’ll meet your next read.

1. The Problem with Forever by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Goodreads summary: Growing up, Mallory Dodge learned that the best way to survive was to say nothing. And even though it's been four years since her nightmare ended, she's beginning to worry that the fear that holds her back will last a lifetime. Now, after years of homeschooling, Mallory must face a new milestone—spending her senior year at a public high school. But she never imagined she'd run into Rider Stark, the friend and protector she hasn't seen since childhood, on her very first day. It doesn't take long for Mallory to realize that the connection she shared with Rider never really faded. Yet soon it becomes apparent that she's not the only one grappling with lingering scars from the past. And as she watches Rider's life spiral out of control, Mallory must make a choice between staying silent and speaking out—for the people she loves, the life she wants and the truths that need to be heard.

This book was such an emotional rollercoaster for me. It made me cry, laugh, jump. As the characters grow you grow with them. It’s so beautiful how Armentrout lets you connect with the characters so well. Their pain was my pain, and their now was my joy. This book will forever be in my heart and is just one of those books which you wouldn’t mind to reread over and over again. 

2.Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare

Goodreads summary: In a kingdom by the sea… In a secret world where half-angel warriors are sworn to fight demons, parabatai is a sacred word. A parabatai is your partner in battle. A parabatai is your best friend. Parabatai can be everything to each other—but they can never fall in love. Emma Carstairs is a warrior, a Shadowhunter, and the best in her generation. She lives for battle. Shoulder to shoulder with her parabatai, Julian Blackthorn, she patrols the streets of Los Angeles, where vampires party on the Sunset Strip, and faeries—the most powerful of supernatural creatures—teeter on the edge of open war with Shadowhunters. When the bodies of humans and faeries turn up murdered in the same way Emma’s parents were when she was a child, an uneasy alliance is formed. This is Emma’s chance for revenge—and Julian’s chance to get back his brother Mark, who is being held prisoner by the faerie Courts. All Emma, Mark, and Julian have to do is solve the murders within two weeks…and before the murderer targets them. Their search takes Emma from sea caves full of sorcery to a dark lottery where death is dispensed. And each clue she unravels uncovers more secrets. What has Julian been hiding from her all these years? Why does Shadowhunter Law forbid parabatai to fall in love? Who really killed her parents—and can she bear to know the truth?

Shadowhunters!!!!!! Obviously at least one of the new books couldn’t stay out of this list. I was at first worried to start a new series after finishing TMI. I was so connected to the TMI characters that it was hard to imagine they would not be the main characters anymore and that we only would know glimpses of their life. However, I couldn’t bear to not submerge myself in the shadow world any longer. I’m so happy I did. I fell in love again with all these new characters, and there was more of the old characters in this book than I had imagined. Bravo, Clare, bravo. I can’t wait to read Lord of Shadows. 

3. Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld

Goodreads summary: Darcy Patel is afraid to believe all the hype. But it's really happening - her teen novel is getting published. Instead of heading to college, she's living in New York City, where she's welcomed into the dazzling world of YA publishing. That means book tours, parties with her favorite authors, and finding a place to live that won't leave her penniless. It means sleepless nights rewriting her first draft and struggling to find the perfect ending... all while dealing with the intoxicating, terrifying experience of falling in love - with another writer. Told in alternating chapters is Darcy's novel, the thrilling story of Lizzie, who wills her way into the afterworld to survive a deadly terrorist attack. With survival comes the responsibility to guide the restless spirits that walk our world, including one ghost with whom she shares a surprising personal connection. But Lizzie's not alone in her new calling - she has counsel from a fellow spirit guide, a very desirable one, who is torn between wanting Lizzie and warning her that...

I feel every aspiring writer should read this book. I loved the perspective of having the two stories in the book. Seeing Darcy doubts and struggles as a young writer, and how she grows and becomes more herself and that reflects on her writing. Then we have Lizzie’s world which is full of mystery, and death. The only thing I’m crossing my finger for is a sequel. 

4. Happily Ever After by Kiera Cass

Summary: Meet Prince Maxon before he fell in love with America and a girl named Amberly before she became queen. See the Selection through the eyes of a guard who watched his first love drift away and a girl who fell for a boy who wasn’t the prince. This gorgeous collection features four novellas from the captivating world of Kiera Cass’s #1 New York Times bestselling Selection series

It’s been a while since reading a book of the Selection Series, and how I missed it. How interesting to read the background of some of the most loved characters. I just wished I could forget this series so I can read it over again and feel like it is the first time. 

5. Beware That Girl by Teresa Toten

Goodreads summary: This powerful psychological thriller with multiple mysteries is set against the backdrop of the megawealthy elite of New York City. Toten delves into the mesmerizing yet dysfunctional world of those who manipulate but seem ever so charming. With its gripping pace and Hitchcockian twists, Beware That Girl will keep readers guessing until the very last line. The Haves. The Have-Nots. Kate O’Brian appears to be a Have-Not. Her whole life has been a series of setbacks she’s had to snake her way out of—some more sinister than others. But she’s determined to change that. She’s book smart. She’s street-smart. Oh, and she’s also a masterful liar. As the scholarship student at the Waverly School in NYC, Kate has her work cut out for her: her plan is to climb the social ladder and land a spot at Yale. She’s already found her “people” among the senior class “it” girls—specifically in the cosseted, mega-wealthy yet deeply damaged Olivia Sumner. As for Olivia, she considers Kate the best friend she’s always needed, the sister she never had. When the handsome and whip-smart Mark Redkin joins the Waverly administration, he immediately charms his way into the faculty’s and students’ lives—becoming especially close to Olivia, a fact she’s intent on keeping to herself. It becomes increasingly obvious that Redkin poses a threat to Kate, too, in a way she can’t reveal—and can’t afford to ignore. How close can Kate and Olivia get to Mark without having to share their dark pasts?

Wow, just wow. This book is filled with surprises. In various occasions I literally jumped out of my bed from the “What the hell” reaction. It was just wonderful, it had the right amount of plot twists. The ending was so much better, I didn’t see it coming. I literally recommend it for anyone who likes mystery, plot twists, twisted stories. 

6. The Princess Saves Herself In This One by Amanda Lovelace

Goodreads summary: "Ah, life- the thing that happens to us while we're off somewhere else blowing on dandelions & wishing ourselves into the pages of our favorite fairy tales."

A poetry collection divided into four different parts: the princess, the damsel, the queen, & you. the princess, the damsel, & the queen piece together the life of the author in three stages, while you serves as a note to the reader & all of humankind. Explores life & all of its love, loss, grief, healing, empowerment, & inspirations.

A lot of people don’t like this type of books because they don’t consider it poetry. However, it’s up to people’s taste. I liked it, it made me cry in some of the entries, and it motivate me in others. I feel that if you’re open enough and willing to try you can give it a chance. 

I hope you find your next read in here. Enjoy!!!!!!!!

[anonthenullifier]

An Auspice of Scarlet

Title: An Auspice of Scarlet

Treat for: @atendrilofscarlet

Rating: T

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.6k

Prompt: A Scarlet Vision Victorian AU

Chapter: 1/?

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12184758/chapters/27661812

Summary: After another failed seance, Wanda Maximoff finds herself seeking asylum from an unknown millionaire and his reserved, but kind butler. As with most things in her life, it's when the semblance of normalcy and contentment begin to form that her past comes crashing in to upend everything she's worked hard to form. Will the blossom of love be enough to vanquish the demons of her past? 

Note: Anya - This is my gift to you in thanks for all of the hard work you put in to organizing the Scarlet Vision Exchange. I don't think anyone realizes just how much work it was to take this on and how amazing it is that things went as smoothly as they did. It was my honor to help you where I could and my delight to see all of the amazing Scarlet Vision works that came from the exchange. You are an amazing and wonderful person that I have enjoyed getting to know through our mutual love of Scarlet Vision. Since you put in so much work, as you are aware because I can't keep secrets, I decided to finally fulfill your request (that you made way way long ago, tried to find it but we have had too many conversations on too many stories to locate it easily) to write a Victorian AU of Scarlet Vision. This is against my better judgment, seeing as I am not an AU writer, but because it's for you, I'll deal with it :). I thought having to write the comic book versions of Wanda and Vision was out of my depth, but this story so far has made me feel like a shark stranded in the middle of the Sahara. So I hope you enjoy this and that it is everything you were hoping for with this AU. I don't know how long it will be, but I promise that I will fill it with as much melodramatic romance and angst, secrets and sordid pasts, misunderstandings and dramatic reconciliations in the rain as possible. 

I hope you all enjoy!

Written for @scarletvisionexchange2017

The man holding her hand is trembling, a sickening claminess developing between their palms the longer she feeds the thickening, anticipatory silence. All Wanda wants to do is take her hand back, pack up her things, and eat dinner, but the lack of money to afford food dictates she continue. A deep, well-practiced hum builds in her chest, vibrating up her esophagus before it escapes her lips. There is a gasp in front of her, Harriet, the youngest of the five daughters at the table, no doubt (since she has been gasping about every three seconds), but at least she is receptive and so Wanda tentatively reaches out to her mind.

Despite spending the past three months working exclusively like this, Wanda is still disoriented when touching a mind that is not Pietro’s, the thorn of his name stabbing her heart, wrestling all air from her lungs. She pushes back the pain, the memories, the horror of his loss and instead caresses the surface of Harriet’s mind, searching for something to pull out. A cursory examination reveals only a recently deceased pet, which will have to do. “I believe my spirit guide has arrived.” A flick of Wanda’s finger sends a tendril of scarlet rapping against the underside of the table.

“Oh,” the table shakes as Harriet pounds her feet excitedly on the ground, “What does it look like?”

Wanda breathes in, memorizing the image from Harriet’s mind before pulling her powers out, “A white dog, with well-groomed fur, and a cerulean vest.” Another gasp from across the table is joined by a harumph from Mr. Clammy Hands. “It is informing me its name is Buttons.”

A reminiscent sigh of “My poor poor Buttons” fills the room, allowing enough distraction for Wanda to move on to her next target. An invisible pulse of power shoots into the husband’s head, twisting through his judgmental disregard of her abilities and Wanda has to ignore the ire curled tightly around his thoughts about how much he dislikes having this woman in their home.

“Buttons is running away,” a pained No and a stern Quiet, Harriet, barely register as Wanda delves deeper into the man’s memories, searching for something useful. “He is running towards a figure,” she pauses, trying to remember the advice from the seminar led by the Fox Sisters: give them drama, give them suspense, heightened emotion means heightened gullibility. Wanda drops her voice, emphasizing her accent as she announces: “It is a woman.” The image in the man’s mind clarifies and she can make out every wrinkle on the face, the perennially stray wisp of hair sticking out of the tightly coiled bun that likely horrified such a poised woman, and the intense, hawkish gaze. “She is old.”

A quiet, mournful, “Grandmama…” comes from across the table.

“Harriet,” the connection between their hands break as the girl’s father scolds her, “That is exactly what this…” Wanda parts her eyes enough to watch him gesticulate at her, his voice perfectly conveying his disgust at being a part of this seance, “skilamalink* woman wants.”

The Fox Sisters also emphasized the importance of rearing in the disbelievers, muffling their arguments as efficiently and tersely as possible. They suggested kicking their shin, but Wanda always tries to go for shock, figuring that she should save physical actions for a last-ditch effort. “The spirit has a message for you, Mr. Smith.”

She doesn’t have to watch him to feel the roll of his eyes and the impudence that clings to every movement of his sweaty palms. “Oh, I am sure she does, something about live a long, healthy life of prosperity, and how terribly she misses me and her morning cup of tea on the porch. You are all the same, just-.”

Wanda cuts him off, clenching her fist to grasp the memory firmly, attempting to match her voice to the stern cadence in his mind. “She says to go to the cellar and shove wool in your mouth for misbehaving, Willy.”

Suddenly the room chills, the man motionless, his surprise potent enough to quiet the women surrounding the table. Wanda, for a split second, thinks she might actually have conjured a spirit, until the screech of a chair being pushed back and the thud as it's thrown to the ground causes her to open her eyes to a red face gleaning with sweat, the drops jumping from his mustache into the air as he trembles. “Witch!”

A cacophony fills the room as Harriet screams, falling to the ground, and her sisters join her, crouching low, but Wanda is only focused on Mr. Smith, fingers curling into her palm, her nails digging into her skin, falling into the groove of her long ago acquired scars, horrified at how easily this man rips the red satin cloth from the table, throwing her candles, crystals, and gems onto the floor. All she can seem to think about, as she watches him crumple the cloth, struggle to rip its seams, is how much money this is going to cost if she can’t get it all back. Mr. Smith points an angry, accusatory finger at her, yelling “Witch!” once more before he stalks out of the house.

Wanda looks to the missus for help, but the frizzy-haired woman is pale, could even be a standin for a spirit at a seance, if need be, giving off the impression of being strangled by her high-necked dress. Harriet is even less help, still laying on the ground, surrounded by her sisters who are giggling and fanning her with whatever objects are within reach. Wanda can see Mr. Smith moving outside, slamming his feet in a straight path towards the Hudson and she groans a, “Not again,” before running out of the house after him.

“Mr. Smith!” The futility of talking sense into him does not escape her, yet Wanda always attempts reason first in hopes that one day it will work. William continues his emotional stomp, the tablecloth trailing on the ground, stirring the dirt of the path. Wanda tilts her body forward, steps increasing in pace until she is jogging behind him. Once she catches up to Mr. Smith, she attempts to grab the cloth from him, but his grip is too strong, too fueled by his anger as he fumes, whispering (she can’t tell if it is too her or to the sky) about how easy it would be to reinvoke the witch trials because clearly the people of Salem were on to something.

Eventually another voice follows, a slightly more colored (though still quite pale) Mrs. Smith, with her dress carefully clutched in her hands, pleading “William put her stuff down, this is preposterous,” but he doesn’t. The houses along the path remain silent, though the curtains pull back to reveal curious, terrified faces and Wanda tries to gesture for help, pleading with the bystanders for someone to take pity on her, but each pane is instantly re-covered. “William, please.”

“My house will not suffer a witch.”

Wanda tries one more time to wiggle the cloth free from his hands, but to no avail, and so she re-attempts to reason with him even though she doesn't have to be a witch to foresee it won't have an impact, “I am not a witch.”

They stop, the shallow gulping of water mixing easily with his heavy breathing, and Wanda sighs as Mr. Smith squints at her, a growl developing in his voice as he says. “Then may your spirit guides save your wretched soul.” For the seventh time in the past two weeks she watches as her materials are unceremoniously thrown into the river and then, without another word, she is abandoned.

Wanda stands alone on the riverbank, hands hanging limply at her side, watching as the cloth soaks up the water and begins its descent into the murky depths. An exhausted, fed-up sigh falls from her mouth as she unlaces her boots, strips her stockings from her feet, and hitches her dress up with a thin rope she has learned to carry around just for this situation. Slowly she dips her foot into the water, a half grimace, half relieved smile warring on her face as she wades into the river to collect her materials. Thankfully the sun has not set yet and so the water is tepid, uncomfortable, but not hypothermic.

Even though the temperature of the water is in her favor, the current is not nor are the branches and roots nestled in the sand, catching the tablecloth firmly between a rock and a branch, unwilling to move even with some gentle witchy (she looks over her shoulder before doing this, just to be safe as she’d really prefer not to be known as the first to be burned in the new witch trials) encouragement. It’s only when she braces her feet on two rocks, bending her knees to lower her center of gravity, that she is able to pull hard enough to get the tablecloth loose, but the force of the pull is more than she had intended and it sends her falling backwards into the water. “I,” her hands flop down into the water with a defeated annoyance, “give up.”

Wanda remains sitting in the river, not certain how much time has passed as her thoughts run through the cost of the materials she lost from this seance, certain she will not be eagerly welcomed if she returns later to ask for her candles and gems back. More concerning is that there are only three more families left in the hamlet that she hasn’t contacted, but she’s reluctant to proffer her services, particularly since one is the local minister and his very pregnant wife. Perhaps it is time to move on, yet again. What she does not understand is that, unlike the Fox Sisters who urge vagueness and shifty answers, Wanda actually contacts spirits, well, not real spirits, but the memories of lost loved ones. She does not believe in spiritualism and mesmerism as they teach it because she knows it is all doctored, with wires shoved up sleeves to lift tables, and tin boxes tied to knees to make a rattling sound when a “spirit” enters. Wanda, unlike the rest, actually offers something real, something tangible, but it is as if people are eager to contact the dead until the dead actually respond.

“Pardon me.”

If there is one bright spot to her uncanny ability to be tossed from houses and end up contemplating her life choices in the river, it is that her schedule seems to coincide quite nicely with a handsome, albeit, overdressed gentleman. “Do you always pass by the river at five?”

He hesitates, mouth contorting in amusement as he steps down from the seat of the carriage, his three-piece black suit perfectly matching the black hat on his head and his black-gloved hand dipping into the pocket of his waistcoat to check the time. “Five seventeen, to be exact.”

“Oh well, sorry for my imprecision.”

“It is shameful,” she watches as he examines the ground, feet shuffling the grass from side to side, a curious yet predictable action as he searches for a fallen branch long enough to reach her, never willing to sully the pristine suit on his body by wading into the river. “I will,” his face brightens as he bends down, scooping up a branch and approaching the shore, “excuse your imprecision, however.”

Wanda rolls her eyes as she grips the branch, one well-practiced hoist lifting her to her feet and kickstarting her momentum out of the water. “Thank you.”

“Oh,” a bashful smile flirts with his lips as he drops the branch and waits for her to join him in walking towards the carriage, “you are most welcome.” They walk in silence, his eyes set on their destination, allowing her a brief moment’s glance at his face, the only chance she ever gets to parse out this mysterious man who is going to give her a towel, a sandwich, and then insist he must be going. Wherever he ends up, she is certain it is outdoors, his face tinged with red yet his clothing has to be insufferable in the oppressive June heat. “May I make an inquiry?”

Wanda’s feet halt as her head cocks to the side, taking in the nervous twitch in his shoulders as he grabs the towel and the slight scuffle of his feet as he waits for her to respond. Slowly she accepts the towel, hands acting on their own accord as they bring it to the tips of her hair, lazily blotting the water. “You don’t have to ask me if you can ask a question.”

The concept seems to confuse him, furrow forming between his blonde eyebrows, his gloved hands, now free of the towel, hovering in the air as he contemplates whether to respond to her or continue with the inquiry. Wanda finds her lips lifting at his indecision, about to offer her opinion but he finally chooses a path and forges ahead. “Have you considered a profession that might be,” his hands wave through the air as he attempts to extract the appropriate wording, “less prone to amphibious attacks?”

A small, self-deprecating chuckle falls from her lips, unsure how to answer a question she asks herself almost daily. “Unfortunately, for an unattached woman as myself, the only other options are to be a dressmaker in the city,” not to be confused with a seamstress who would actually fix dresses instead of spend her nights spread eagle on a bed, “or consign myself to servitude and I refuse to be owned by anyone.”

This is not the first time she has defended her decisions in life, but unlike the majority of audiences (mostly in taverns or along the road or on the decks of steamboats as she travels), he seems to actually listen to her words, weigh them, parse out the meaning and other possible options, and then accept what she says with a gentle, affirming nod. “Understandable.”

Though the word is said without judgment, there is an odd, reticent quality to his voice that causes her eyebrow to lift, eyes trained on his back as he swiftly turns away from her, no doubt reaching for her pickled herring sandwich. This is the first time they’ve spoken beyond concerned inquiries as to her well-being, and so, since he opened the line of communication she determines to pry a little deeper to learn more about this man. “What is your calling in life?”

“I am,” he swivels back around, holding a small, carefully wrapped sandwich between them, his face ostensibly serious and neutral, yet his eyes dart to the side as he answers her, “a butler.”

Embarrassment rushes to her cheeks, the fancy three-piece suit, well-planned schedule, and ability to always have on hand exactly what she needs suddenly coalescing into an impossible to deny framework of the ideal butler. “It is a,” it is not like her to save face, always unapologetic in her opinions and emotions, but this man has been far nicer to her than almost any person she has met since immigrating to the United States, far nicer, in fact, than the majority of people she has met since the death of her parents when she was ten, “noble profession.”

A tight smile forms on his face, her feigned admiration transparent, “It is, akin to your reasoning, far preferable than alternative options.” The man’s lips slip into an easier, more controlled and congenial tilt, pulling a slip of paper from a pocket inside the right breast of his jacket. Carefully he holds it out to her, an expectant lift to his eyebrows that encourages her to grab the sheet and unfold it, confusion bubbling in her chest at the evenly spaced, disciplined lines of the numbers and letters. “I have inquired with my,” he pauses, weighing the most appropriate word likely due to her admitted distaste of his lifestyle, “employer and he concurs of my assessment that his estate be available to you for your seances. Due to the distance from the river and the impartial atmosphere, I believe it would be a suitable and, quite arguably, safer location for your work. Please do not hesitate to utilize this offer, I,” his gaze shifts to the murky waves of the Hudson, the alcove nearest the town filled with pockets of green, slimy algae that frames the distant, passing steamboats and barges, “do not object to helping you from the river but would prefer if it was less frequent.”

“I-” very few people have willingingly approached her, the distinctive patchwork fabric of her skirt and the scarlet, jeweled headdress she wears for seances a black mark against her, an experience she, sadly, is far too familiar with even in her home country. Yet this prim and proper man not only somehow is always at the river when she needs help, but he actually helps her, feeds her, speaks with her without reservation, and now, now he offers her his (well not his, his master’s) home. “This is very kind but I do not want to inconvenience you.”

“I assure you it is not an inconvenience.”

Wanda attempts a smile, appreciative of his offer yet hesitant to allow herself to believe there is no ulterior motive. “I will certainly consider it, but I should be leaving, before it gets dark.”

The man’s body freezes, only his eyes showing signs of life as they shift side to side, clearly thrown off by her refusal. “Would you consider an offer to accompany you back to town to ensure your safe return?”

Another foreign and tempting offer but Wanda shakes her head, “I’ll be fine, thank you. I am sure you are a very busy man.” She decides it’s best to walk away, fearing if she remains there looking at the confusion in his eyes or the slightly pained frown on his face that’ll she say yes, open herself up to one more avenue of contact that will only end in manipulation, if her past can predict the future. This doesn’t mean that it hurts any less when she hears the carriage rattle, a gentle hut hut as he spurs the horses into action.

Wanda wraps the towel around her shoulders, head held high as she enters the town, not wanting to portray any weakness to the eyes that appear in the windows, disappearing anytime she turns to stare at them. It is a walk that she despises but she will never allow it to render her as lesser in their eyes, steadfastly holding to her confidence. That is until she reaches her tiny dwelling, one she sublets from an elderly woman who occasionally sprinkles salt on the windowsills, and finds the two windows shattered and the door barely hanging on the frame. Scarlet dances around her fingers as she pushes past the door, turning the knob of the lantern hanging on the wall, a spark of red igniting the wick and filling the room with a golden, muted glow as she holds it aloft.

Everything is in disarray. The table flipped on it’s side, the floor strewn with her papers, tarot cards, and the books she had been reading. Her bed is in a similar state, the rickety frame missing two legs and straw spilling out from a large slash in the mattress. Wanda breathes in, attempting to keep the tears from forming in her eyes, fights back the nauseating memories from her final days in Sokovia, of the hysteria, the yelling, the thrown stones, and the pyre, but then she turns to the left, lifting the lantern to inspect the last part of her room and on the wall, in dark red, dripping liquid is the word Witch and she can’t hold back the sob anymore, falling onto her knees as her hand rises to wipe the tears away.

It is time to leave again, that much is clear.

“Wanda?”

The voice startles her, but not enough to cloud her judgment, and so she controls the flow of red tickling her palm, social survival outweighing her instincts to attack. This voice is kind, concerned, but brimming with anger. “Clint.”

More light fills the room as he sets down his own lantern, hand falling lightly, cautiously on her back. Wanda flinches at the touch but does not move away. “I tried to stop them,” if she lifted her finger an inch she would be able to access his memories of the event, but the quiver in his voice and the scrunch of his fingers in the fabric of her dress is enough to spur her imagination. Then the object of his anger shifts, lessening the emotions to annoyance more so than ire. “But you just had to mess with William Smith, didn’t you?”

“His wife offered enough for a month’s worth of food.”

Clint scoffs at her, a sound that should infuriate her but she knows it is down in partial, mostly good-natured mockery, a sign that he might actually care about her well-being. “I thought you listened to me when I explained that Marjory is not the voice of William. Wanda,” this time he sighs, sinking into the chair at her side before leaning back and staring at the ceiling, “that man owns this area, I don’t want you to be the next Helen Jewett**”

Wanda sits up, shaking away the timidity in her limbs, conjuring her confidence and reiterating, in her mind, that she did nothing wrong. Her eyes travel to Clint’s face, taking in the exhaustion of his half-hearted smirk, an effect of a new child and little sleep. This man, just as the one at the river, has surprised her, a Blacksmith by trade who strongly refused her offer to read his fortune (something about being swindled by a fortune teller in his youth), yet invited her into his home the day she arrived, stoked a fire to dry her feet, fed her, and provided her unasked for guidance in attaining living arrangements. She is not beholden to anyone or anything, utterly alone in life, and yet, she cannot ignore the itch of despair at his disappointment, actually finds herself defending her actions in hopes he accepts the excuse. “I thought it would be different, she seemed accepting and-.”

“You thought wrong.”

“Yes.” Wanda glances despondently around the room. “It is not safe here anymore.”

The thing she respects the most about Clint is his inability to soften his words. “No, not right now.”

The confirmation is what she was seeking, mind shutting down any peripheral thoughts, instead only focusing on survival, what is next. Perhaps she offers her services to a caravan, leaves the reassuring oldness of the settlements to pursue the paradise of autonomy the fliers posted along the road describe existing in strange places with names like California, Oregon, and Utah. But she also wonders if a denser, more populated area might be better, return to New York City where she could disappears into the faceless, pulsing crowds again. Though she left the city precisely because she could not escape, no matter how crowded it got. “I am not sure where to go now.”

“I have a suggestion, if you want to actually listen to me this time.” Wanda glares at him, his honesty can be both refreshing and infuriating, particularly when he takes on a paternalistic air, the need for a parent in her life long since necessary. But instead of biting back, she waves her hand for him to continue. “I think we can salvage this,” a statement that creates a small, strange roiling in her chest, the implication being he doesn’t want her to leave. It is a foreign concept, someone wanting her to stay. “We just need to reinvent your image, you know?”

Wanda’s listless glare morphs into a wrinkled brow. “No...”

“I think it is pretty fair to say you have not managed your public image or reputation very well,” something she’d likely argue against any other day, but given her dress is creating a small pond of mud beneath her (and, much to her fury, all of her other clothing is lying in roughly torn strips on the floor) she’ll concede to his point at the present moment. “Take a break, find some place safe, start small, and then come back once they’ve calmed down.”

“Where am I supposed to find safety?”

Clint stands up, offering her his hand, which she takes, and he pulls her back onto her feet with a smile. “I’d offer my house, but,”

“Your family deserves to live unworried.”

He nods. “Precisely, but got a friend of a friend that owns an estate just north of here. Bit eccentric but from what I’ve been told he never refuses a guest with an interesting past.”

It is only as they approach the estate, it’s appearance masked by the thick, oppressively humid darkness, that Wanda second guesses the plan, is uncertain why she agreed to ask for lodging from a stranger and why she trusts Clint so much. There is a strong likelihood this will end the same as every other endeavor since her brother’s death, but the mellow flicker of gaslights lining the cobbled path to the estate is quite inviting, enough to vacate her concerns for one night of warmth and safety. Wanda clutches the small bag in her lap, containing the only remaining, mostly intact possessions that survived the violation of her room. “You are certain of this?”

Clint gives an unhelpful shrug and an even more unhelpful answer, as he never elaborates on who his friend is beyond telling Wanda that she is terrifying in the most admirable way possible, “Natasha claims this is a safe place, I believe her. Plus she said there is an incredible archery range so if you stay long enough I can probably use it.”

The reigns are tugged twice, and the horse comes to a standstill, an expectant whinny filling the air, urging Clint to swing down from the seat and offer a morsel of apple in appreciation. Wanda is not as eager to get down, suspicious eyes studying the brick facade and the curve of the railing lining the porch that disappears into the shadows cast by the gaslights affixed to the building. A deep breath in readies her, steadying her shaking hands and feet as she takes Clint’s proffered hand and steps down from the carriage. Together they approach the door, Clint gripping the large, brass ring and releasing it with glee, the door vibrating from the force of the knock.

“Promise you’ll be fine.”

“I hope you are corr-” The door opens and Wanda finds herself unable to complete the sentence, taking in the surprised stare of the man from the river, no longer in his three piece suit, having foregone the hat (revealing unsurprisingly well-tamed blonde hair) and the jacket leaving him only in a dark, silk vest and a white shirt that clearly started out pristinely pressed but has rumpled naturally from a long day.

The butler recovers first, turning his attention towards Clint, “Mr. Barton, Miss-”

“Maximoff.” Wanda intercedes, realizing they’ve never actually introduced themselves.

He nods at her, a softness forming in the way his lips curl up ever so slightly. “Maximoff. What may I do to assist you?”

“Smith’s a bit upset with his seance experience today.”

The butler’s knowing, “Yes,” is ignored by Clint, who carries on, explaining what happened to her room, acting as if the man didn’t say anything, but Wanda finds herself unable to ignore him, her body collecting the humidity from the air and channeling it deep within her cheeks at the way his eyes have not left her since she told him her name.

“Was wondering if you’d mind her staying here, let things settle down?”

There is less than a second of silence between the question and the slight, rigid bend at the waist of the blonde man, his voice stiff and formal as he bows with an, “Of course.” He straightens his body back to its full height and steps gracefully back from the doorway, “Miss Maximoff, you may stay as long as you desire. Please,” his kind, blue eyes find hers again and the heat from her cheeks rushes down her neck, filling her chest with gratitude, leaving no room for concerns at the present moment, “come in.”

Clint nudges her back, an expectant, annoyingly paternal glint to his eyes before he waves to her, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Wanda thinks she lifts her hand in farewell, but her attention is fixated on the man in front of her, watching his arms travel behind his back, lowering to an angle suitable to lace his fingers together, and his body develop a subdued yet nervous sway as he glances around the house, likely assessing what needs to be done with this new, hopefully not wholly unwelcome, guest. “Miss Maximoff?”

“Yes?”

Her words have an instant effect, the apprehension leaving his body as he assumes his prescribed role, pulling his shoulders up into a dignified tension as his fingers release from behind his back, arms coming to hang at his side. She discovers she rather prefers the prior, more nervous, more honest version of the man from moments before, particularly when he speaks, his voice now taking on an air of formality and depersonalization, a far cry from the bashful, playful dialogue earlier in the day. “Would you be amenable to my showing you to your room?”

“That would be amenable, thank you.”

A quick, well-trained nod meets her words as he begins to walk towards an impressive, mahogany framed staircase, pausing briefly before turning with an indecisive frown on his face. “I-” the indecision leaves as he squares his body again, and Wanda is enthralled at the flickering of his personality between butler and man. The butler, it seems, wins out, his left elbow bending, arm forming a reluctant triangle that he offers her. “May I offer assistance up the stairs?”

“No thank you, I,” Wanda desperately wants the man from the river back, attempts to flash a sly smile at him while she adds a touch of joviality to her voice to tempt him to loosen up, “believe I am fully capable of walking up stairs on my own, unless you need assistance.”

For a brief, fleeting moment, he allows the seriousness to slip from his face, a twitch overtaking the corner of his mouth that could be construed as merriment, but then he nods, washing away the vestige of humor. “I believe I am also quite capable of traversing stairs. Please, follow me.”

They walk in relative silence, though it is a silence she has not experienced, lacking the tension of fear that hovers at a seance and no sign of awkwardness or boredom that engulfs her when she is trapped with a stranger on a transport. No this is comfortable, soothing, undemanding and incredibly refreshing. Which is why she isn’t sure why she decides to obliterate the silence, but curiosity is always a strong temptation for a Maximoff. “Your,” she attempts to remember his vocabulary at the river, “employer will be okay with me staying here?”

“Oh, undoubtedly.” The lack of hesitation combined with the nonchalance of the answer is reassuring. “As I explained earlier, you were already welcome, this is not qualitatively different.”

“Thank you.”

He nods as he directs her towards an open door, the room instantly stealing all of her attention as her eyes travel along the majestic four-poster jet-black bed, gilded panels etched with ornate designs of leaves. Next to the bed is an equally macabre and lavish chaise lounge, the deep purple encasing the cushions tempting her to walk across the room and run her palm along the indulgent softness of the crushed velvet. “I hope this room is suitable.” Wanda has no words, dumbfounded at the luxury of the room, never having seen something like this even in the homes of the elite she visited (and was often unceremoniously tossed from) for seances. “There are dressing gowns in the wardrobe and you should find all necessities for this evening. I shall better prepare the room tomorrow. Sleep well and do not hesitate to ring the bell near the bed if you require assistance of any sort.”

It’s not until his last words and the slight creak of the heavy wooden door that Wanda, without thinking, throws out a scarlet thread to stop the door, tossing out a hurried, “Wait!”

The butler takes a hesitant step back into the room, an anticipatory set to his face as he waits for her request. “How may I help you, Miss Maximoff?”

Wanda walks to the door, neck craning to stare up at his face, studying his features as best she can in the dim lighting. “What’s your name?” “Oh, yes, my apologies.” The man clears his throat before continuing, a nervousness permeating the air around him that she finds somewhat unsettling, almost making her offer an apology as the question seems to have upset him. “You may simply call me Vision, it is what my employer and his guests refer to me as and so it is what I answer to if you find you need assistance.”

“Vision?”

“Correct,” the man steps away with a small, stiff bow. “Sleep well, Miss. Maximoff,” and then he disappears into the darkness of the surrounding hallway, leaving her alone.

Wanda finds the information infuriating, a seething rage forming in her limbs at the implication of his words, but she resolves to release it for the night, change into dry clothes, and perhaps tomorrow she will unravel the mystery of this man and figure out what comes next for her.

*Shady

**A famous case of a murdered prostitute from 1800s NY