#however i did get into the honors program i applied to at the college i ended up going to (if you've picked up what state i live in you can

[omni-scient-pan-da]

OMGCONGRATS ON GRADUATINGGGGGGGG!!!! COLLEGE BOUNDD!!

THANK YOUUUUUU I somehow did not see this until now but I appreciate it!!

[shuttershocky]

maybe responding to such a personal post like this is kinda rude but oh man that like… reignited my motivation more than anything ive heard in my time at college yet. ive always been shit in school but i had an especially horrible time last year, failed too many courses, and ended up on probation. im terrified honestly because i have very strict parents that made probation sound like a death sentence when they told me about it before i started college. but goddamnit i love my program and i love what i study and i don’t care how many years it takes anymore im sticking to this shit until i graduate. anyways i guess im extremely grateful to have read that today. thank you!!!!!

Listen to me very carefully: If you love what you're studying no matter how hard it gets, you must keep that love with you no matter what happens.

Let's say absolute worst case scenario, you're kicked from the school despite your best efforts and they won't let you back in despite your best efforts. You keep that love with you still. You WILL find another way forward.

Something you learn when you're done with your schooldays is how insignificant all of it really is. I don't mean unimportant to you, but insignificant in how every point of no return in your life isn't the last one until you die; life makes you keep on living, and that means you can always keep going. There's always still another chance out there.

When I was a teenager, every adult around me stressed how my peers and I were at a critical point in our lives. Which colleges we apply to, which ones we would pass, what courses we would take, and whether we graduate with honors would change the rest of our lives; but none of them ever taught me that they wouldn't determine the rest of our lives either.

After having my childhood dream of becoming a paleontologist crushed (I'd have to go abroad which my family couldn't afford), I changed track to wanting to work on video games. However, my scholarship contract came with a set list of degree courses I could choose to take (all STEM stuff of course), and as this shit was written in the 1950s there was obviously nothing about game design in there.

So in between classes and during breaks I would go to local gamedev meetups and listen to lectures and seminars. From there I met some devs I would intern over the summer for. From there, I got hired as a writer for two different jobs, and took another internship (this time with college credit!). When I graduated I had mediocre grades that would never get me a six figure software engineering job, but I did have plenty of work experience for the industry I actually wanted to work in.

The first studio I worked in as a graduate didn't have an opening for a game designer but did have one for marketing, and they were small enough that I'd basically still be working on the games anyway, so I shrugged my shoulders and went for it despite no real relevant marketing experience. I got the job.

Years later when we were downsizing due to the pandemic and I got let go, one of the people I worked for in my college days was now looking for a writer for a mix of both marketing copy and editing in-game text, and well shit, I just spent some time learning how to write marketing copy, what a coincidence.

Don't get me wrong. Living under capitalism has a way of sticking you into dead ends and life in general likes to mix you up and slam many doors in your face. You'll grow up in ways you did not foresee nor plan for, and if it's not soul-sucking boredom it's the fear of the unknown that will be chasing you as you stumble your way through life.

That's why i'm telling you to hold on to that love of what you're studying. When you realize so many decisions are life-changing but none of them can truly set the future in stone, loving something like that helps you find your way forward.

And if later on you find that it's not what you want, let it go without fearing you wasted your time. I firmly believe that you can always find something new with what you learned, and that love is never wasted.

I still have my old dinosaur books from when I was a kid. I didn't just want the stuff written for children, I wanted the lavishly illustrated books with scientific descriptions and essays that I thought real scientists used (it turns out even these are just laughably baby shit to them).

These books were what taught me how to read and write more complex English, which eventually became the skills I used to find work as a writer decades later.

[creativesparksart]

We interrupt our regularly scheduled art posts, for a rant on Introductory Level Classes in College & Advanced Classes in High Schools

***Disclaimer – this is largely based on my personal experience and the experience of those around me. I know this probably isn’t the case everywhere, but its still worth being shared***

1.      For any high schoolers out there, here’s a tip from your friendly college senior who was an overachiever “gifted kid”TM  in high school and is about to enter the field of education: All of your teachers who every told you that your grades are the most important thing for getting into college and insanely overworked you in advanced courses because “that’s what college is like” is so incredibly full of shit. I spent years of my life having so much sleep deprivation that I did not dream for like two years because I was struggling to balance all advanced classes, travel sports and school sports, a stupid number of clubs, two honor societies, later a job, and let’s not forget whatever family drama wants to join in on the parade. I graduated high school 4th in my class with a fucking 4.54 GPA and you know what has done literally nothing for me in college? Any of that crap. I applied and got rejected from Princeton and ultimately chose my university for the price and that I could graduate with a Bachelors in History and a Masters in Education since I was going into a shitty paying career path (teaching high school). You know how all that hell I went through with overloading my schedule in high school? My first semester at college I was actually BORED. I was confused at the concept of having free time and the ability to get enough sleep that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had time for art, I had so many things that I could do for fun that I never had time to do in high school because I spent it “being prepared for college.” WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

2.      Now, I wish I could say that was my entire college experience, however, there are still college professors out there who are definitely the ones that set the stereotype your high school teachers believe all college professors are like. And I hate them. The further and further I get through the education major (and mind you, I’m in graduate courses now), the more you notice how full of shit some of your professors are. The biggest pet peeve I have are how some college professors approach Introductory level classes.

A little PSA for Professors and Teachers: INTRO LEVEL COURSES SHOULD NOT BE A FILTER THROUGH WHICH TO WEED OUT THE WEAK, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS PART OF GENERAL EDUCATION REQUIREMENTS. NEWS FLASH: THAT’S NOT TEACHING, THAT’S GATEKEEPING.

I am not saying I want students to be able to breeze through the course and get an easy A. But what I am saying is that if you are going into a class like French 101, the first level of learning French, they should not be expecting you to hold a conversation in French by the end of the semester. You should not walk in on day one and be terrified that you walked into a refresher class for French 202. You should also not be terrified out of your wits to take an introductory Chemistry class required for your major in GEOLOGY because everyone has told you the professor makes the class awful to prepare you for the rest of the major. We go to school to LEARN. I went to a goddamn liberal arts college so I could do the gen ed program and take some classes that interested me outside of my major to LEARN and push myself.  I didn’t come to relive the hell that was cramming for a Biology SOL and taking it on test day and learning that your teacher had skipped the unit on evolution because “oh yeah, we didn’t get to that.” I didn’t take a science class to get the whole question wrong and no partial credit, not because I got the soil layers wrong, but because I perfectly listed the soil layers for Virginia which we were TAUGHT and not North Carolina – which we were NOT taught. History and other Bachelors of Arts classes are no better. We constantly put students through intense 100 and 200-level courses that are required to get them to their major classes, and again the courses are made artificially difficult and work and reading intensive. My high school history teacher told me when he was in college, he had to read 8 books a week for ONE of his history classes. That is asinine.

I hate this stupid idea that a 4 year university intro level course – you know, the university you already had to apply to get into and get weeded out from thousands of other applicants, needs to be hard so that it weeds “the weak” students out from aggressive fields like the sciences. Why do we hurt our students who just want to push themselves into a different field for a General Education requirement and explore Chemistry because they liked their high school chemistry class? Why do we treat our honors students like shit and decide they don’t need study guides or help because “well its an honors class”? We go to college to learn and explore! We should not be punished for wanting to explore, and we sure as hell should not be scared out of a major just because some professor thinks we need to handle a 40% on a midterm to prove we deserve to help people. Are you telling me I don’t deserve to be a pediatric nurse because I couldn’t remember the exact chemical equation of a compound? I can’t be a history teacher because I can’t remember the exact year the radio was invented. I have been pushed away from exploring topics I find interesting and wanted to learn more about from Human Anatomy to Costume Design because of the horror stories of the experiences that people have had. And at the same time, I hear professors and teachers complaining that students don’t want to do the work anymore and that so many of them are failing classes because they don’t put enough time and energy into the class.

The vast majority of students, want to learn. Even amidst the hellscape pandemic and virtual classes that have affected the bulk of my undergraduate learning, I have always wanted to learn. Its not fair to students or to the later professors that would have loved to have those students in their classrooms to discuss a shared love of genetics, or Medieval History, etc. to gatekeep your field or make your test obscenely difficult just because you want to “prepare students for reality.” ESPECIALLY when we are getting quite the unhealthy dose of reality with the major historical events and crises we’ve been dealing with thank  you very much. I didn’t put myself in thousands of dollars of debt in student loans to be in tears at 3 AM trying to cram for an exam that I know I’ll still feel unprepared for, but my anxiety won’t let me sleep and I got off work at 10 to be told by a professor that I didn’t study hard enough.

fuck this toxic mentality, and I will do everything in my power as a teacher to dismantle this bullshit

[binniesthighs]

i loveeee your first write abt Jisung omgggg he is like one of my BIGGEST bias wrecker of all time so i was like WOAH THERE,,,, and i was so hooked on your writings i wanna see more 👀 if you have free time can i please ask for a Jeonghan smut where he is your rival in everything let's say at school and u didn't actually like him at first but he kinda flirts and idk I'm just so into Jeonghan's cocky behavior these daysss he's making me feel thiiiiiiingsssss 😩❤️

ahh thank you anon you are so so sweet! ♡ I’m so happy that you liked my Jisung stuff! I love writing for that boy hehe and thank you so much for requesting love!! this is my first seventeen ask I’m so so excited to write more of them in the future! my brain really took this one and rannnn with it, it ended up a bit harder than I intended, I hope that’s okay and I hope that you enjoy it!

what i want most |reader x jeonghan |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x yoon jeonghan

Genre: lil bit of smut, lil bit of angst

Tags: harddom!jeonghan, bratty!reader, enemies (competitors) to lovers, college au, jeonghan being our fave cocky boy, bestfriend!seungcheol, mentions of school work, slow-ish burn, masturbation (reader), use of degrading names, dumification, hook-up, choking, marking, spanking, facefucking, gagging, use of safe symbols, nipple play, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie, slight exhibitionism, semi-public sex, sex in a study room

Word count: 4k

Someone told you once long ago that hate is a strong word. Apparently, they had never experienced loathing before. To you, hate always seemed to be something playful, something a little teasing. When your best friends would mock you for the most insignificant things, you would say “cut that shit out. You know that I hate you right?”

Loathing is much more fun. Loathing holds more of an edge. Loathing keeps you up at night, and lingers in your mind. Loathing digs into your skin like a papercut, coming back to sting later when you stretch your skin. Loathing made you feel all twisted up inside. This one super-massive emotion is one that clings to you and makes you jealous and irritable, and the best of all, competitive.

You don’t know what you would be without loathing...if not for him.

But as much as you loathed him, he was the perfect elixir of sugar-coated poison.  

He kept you up at night. He lingered in your mind.

Everything about you, he had to do too. You didn’t know at this point if it was some kind of joke, or that the two of you had miraculously been crafted to be just that similar.

Since the day that you had met him three years ago in undergrad, there wasn’t one class that the two of you didn’t share. Every single job that you applied to, he would apply to as well. Each professor that you would introduce yourself to, the next day he would be cozied up next to them talking about some kind of bullshit and pretended to care about their personal lives. He even chose the exact same grad program as you.

When the two of you graduated, it was him who sucked in his lip, never breaking with your eyes when he received higher honors than you. He probably loathed you too.

That would keep you up at night too.

There were other things about him as well that would creep into the corners of your sleep deprived brain. You would stare into the darkness of your room, eyes glued to the ceiling with your mind exploring shameless answers.

During these dark nights, your hand would absentmindedly cascade down your body, snaking your fingers down the soft of your skin. Behind your eyes, it was him sending shivers down your body. It was his lithe fingers, not yours, that would reach down to your aching sex to pleasure you into all the fantasies that only remained within the confines of your own mind. Before you would climax, it was his name that you whispered out into the air, not even knowing that you did.

“Jeonghan.”

•·················•·················•

“Are you going to finish that, or what?”

Seungcheol rummaged around your bag of chips that were barely touched.

Your highlighter skimmed over your page, you twisted the writing utensils around in your hand to scratch down a note with your pen. Truthfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“...I mean, if you don’t, I will. Can’t let stuff like this go to waste.” He held the bag in his lap, happily crunching away and tapping his foot a little.

“--Can you chew quieter?”

“...Me?”

“Yes, you.” You bopped him softly on top of his wavy caramel hair with your marked up article.

Seungcheol cringed and rubbed the top of his head as if you had hit him with something much denser than a stack of paper.

“In my defense, there isn’t really a quiet way to eat chips.” He popped another one in. “Are you gonna be done soon? It’s too...still out here.”

“You’re the one that suggested coming here!”

His puppy-like face turned combative. “I did!...only because I think it’s pretty though.” Your friend shied away, trying to uphold his promise of “chewing quieter,” and subsequently failing.

He wasn’t wrong however, the courtyard in the middle of the library was very pretty, and you had been glad that he had suggested the two of you take lunch there. Inside the square shaped yard, a few trees had been planted with low swaying branches of little oval shaped leaves. There were hedges and a myriad of flowering plants with petals that were pink or yellow or purple. Somehow the little square was untouched by sound, save for a couple songbirds. Had you not a copious amount of work to take care of, you would have admired it all for hours.

“--And to answer your question, no, I will not be done soon. Sorry. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Seungcheol cooly threw one of his arms over the silver outdoor chair next to him, shaking you off. “I don’t mind. I don’t have anything else that I really wanna be doing right now.”

“--Your thesis maybe?” You crashed your knee into his under the table and threw him a teasing smirk.

“I said, anything that I want to do.”

You nabbed one of your chips back. “Suit yourself then.”

The door to the courtyard clicked, followed by the creak of the old library door. Such a metallic sound stole the tranquility of the whole space.

“Y/n.”

Jeonghan came floating behind you, dressed in his usual attire: some type of glamorous pairing of dress pants and a button down as well as shoes that looked as if they had just been shined. He wore some kind of cologne that draped after him with a dizzying type of efflorescence. Everything about him was meticulously planned, down to the few purposefully unkempt strands of chocolate brown hair on his forehead.

He craned his neck a little to see your messy scribbles.

“You’re reading Nebasifu?”

Jeonghan leaned over you, tracing a finger over the neon orange highlights you had made. He shocked you with how close he had let himself get to you, practically encapsulating you in his arms. You found yourself staring into his neck, that floral scent forcibly permeating your air.

“Hmm.”

He hummed as he read over your notes. “Interesting conclusions right? The fact that in governance we create more problems when trying to solves the ones we have already made? It’s all so circular isn’t it?”

Your sweating palm crunched the paper out from under his fingertips.

“--Really interesting. I’d like to finish it...if you please.” While your words were polite, but they still bit.

“I can recommend more similar readings if you’re interested?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer.”

“If it doesn’t make sense, you can always reach out, we can talk it through...I’ve found that discussing--”

“--I said that I’m fine. Nice talking to you Jeonghan.” You cast your eyes down to your paper and attempt to slow your viciously beating chest.

fucking leave. You pleaded, knuckles turning white around your pen.

“Alright then. See you later.” He straightened his glasses upon his nose bridge. “I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the topics later.”

He swept his hand lightly across your back. It was the most fleeting of gestures, but your entire body froze from it.  

Jeonghan situated himself at one of the benches and drew out a book. He sat in the direct beams of the afternoon sun. The brown wisps of hair that hit the light looked nearly golden. You loathed that he was breathtaking without even really trying.

Seungcheol grinded his teeth, muttering out, “Fucking creep. He can’t talk to you like that.” Even quieter, “I’ll take him out for you if you want me to.”

You stifled a laugh. You couldn’t help your eyes which would flutter over to him like it was forbidden.

“No, don’t do that. But thank you ‘Cheol.”

“I’ll do it! I swear...”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan had a terrible habit. Not like it was particularly distracting, it was just something that you had taken notice of. From where you would sit nearly across the room from him, he would remove his glasses, then rest one of the temple tips between his lips. Sometimes, the click of his teeth would meet the plastic. It was a simple action, but the way that the little curve would rest on the pink of his lips made your mind wonder...the poison that would leave those same lips couldn’t have been real; not when they looked so sweet.

“--anyone want to share what they got out of the readings and case studies? What can we learn about our interference and the sovereignty of other states?”

You were only partially paying attention when Jeonghan silently rose his hand.

“I think that Y/n had a particularly interesting oponion on this. We were discussing this previously.” He curved his body around to meet your eyes which had already been inspecting him.

With an expectant crossing of his arms, your professor approached your desk. “Y/n?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you, but Jeonghan’s burned with the hottest flame.

You took your shaking hands into your lap, then gave your oponion as eloquently as you could, swallowing down your nerves. As usual, you were perfectly well spoken, as you knew you were. The professor nodded along with each point of your argument.

“--Very well articulated Y/n. And your counterpoints are provoking as well.” He finally turned to pace away. “Would anyone like to expand?”

Your professor’s body mass moved, revealing Jeonghan’s nearly sinful prideful smile. It was like he had given you a test, and you had passed magnificently. With the cock of his head, he mouthed,

“that was lovely.”

“I’d like to expand.” He piped, removing his glasses. Just as he always would, he tapped them between his lips, letting the skin fall a little by them. You had noticed it before, but they were smooth and plump. “I think that Y/n is correct...in many ways, but some points are a bit misguided, I would argue....”

•·················•·················•

[09:23 pm]

cheol: you coming back anytime soon?  i can’t believe you’re doing this to me on a friday. is it really that serious?

[09:26 pm]

me: need I remind you that you should probably be here with me? thesis papers don’t write themselves.

cheol: and I should remind YOU that we literally just got off break? they aren’t due for months.

i know what you’re trying to prove.

it’s not worth it.

what does that asshole have over you?

“--Shouldn’t you be back at home with that golden retriever of yours?”

Jeonghan’s pen tapped at your table, white sleeves rolled up. The day had taken it’s toll on him. The bags under his eyes proved that even someone as picturesque as him could still be effected by your long days. Nevertheless disheveled, he was just as alluring.

“And shouldn’t you be flirting with one of your students?” You clicked your phone off.

“Cute. Luckily I’m not one of the desperate ones starving for the attention of the little undergrads. That's a different kind of pathetic.”

“Hmmm. I just thought that it was the attention that you were after.” Heat rose to your ears while you breathed your beating heart down.

"Who doesn’t like attention? Especially if it’s from the right people...speaking of undergrads...”

Jeonghan’s slender neck twisted to eye the obnoxious group of students huddled up on a table, giggling and making a mess of their snacks.

“You’re studying out here? I can’t even--”

“--I appreciate the concern, but you’re not helping my focus either.”

“Am I...distracting you?” Jeonghan swept his warm brown hair to the side with the cock of his eyebrow.

You shook out a sigh. “Yes.”

“You don’t have an office?”

“Department didn’t have any more.”

“I’ve got a study room that I host study sessions in. You want to use it?”

“You’re offering to help me?”

“Listen, I know how hard our program can be, and I appreciate how hard you work. You deserve a quiet place to work.”

“Are you complimenting me?”

“Don’t make me change my mind...and what would I do if the competition suddenly dropped out?” He tapped the table with his fingertips. “That wouldn’t be very much fun.”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan’s study room was simple, just like all the others in the library. It was stark, white, the tables were a bit banged up and the white board was riddled with little ink remnants. There were glass windows nearly everywhere so you could overlook both the outdoors and the rest of the library on the opposite wall. As the two of you entered, he calmly closed all the blinds.

“No distractions right?” He looked back to you.

“...do you have something that you need to get done too?”

“Not really. I’ve submitted a good chunk of my thesis for review.”

Of course he had.

“I’m just waiting to hear back.”

He crossed the room to sit directly next to you, slinging his legs up on the table and taking out that same book from earlier: it had some pretentious title that you had never heard of before.

“Don’t mind me.” He chided your straying eyes. “I’m only staying to lock the door after you.”

“I-I’m not...” Your eyes feel back to your computer and you typed at your keyboard just to fill the sound of the quiet room.

Sitting this close to you, you could smell that dizzyingly sweet smell of his again.

You loathed him for the way that he could be doing nothing and you could be enthralled in merely that.

Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t leave his page. “The more that you look at me, the less you’re working.”

You hadn’t even noticed.

“I guess I’m more distracting than I thought.”

Furious heat rose from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your ears.

“What the hell do you get off on?” You spat.

He calmly placed his book on the table. “What are you referring to?”

“For the past three years, you haven’t left me alone for a single second, you-you always do everything that I do like you’re on some kind of sick quest to prove that you’re better than me, better than anyone else--”

“--You think that I’m copying you?”

“Wha-what else would you be doing?”

“--Getting an education? God, you think that I’m the attention whore, aren’t you hearing yourself?? You must think that I’m obsessed with you.”

“What is it then? A superiority complex so fucking huge--”

“--You’re asking what it is that I want?”

You nodded back with heaving breaths.

“What I get off on? Well...” Jeonghan chuckled a little and raked his hands through his brown strands. “You don’t deserve to know. But there is one thing that I’ve wanted for a while that I haven’t been able to get my hands on. I suppose that’s what I want most.”

“And that is?”

Tentatively, he rose his hand nearer to you, saying nothing, his aura shifting from cocky to intrigued. At first, his fingers traced over the skin of your hand as if he was drawing little pictures into it. After he brushed his hand up your arm to weave a little strand of your hair around his fingers.

“I said you don’t deserve to know.”

You must have been in a daze; some kind of waking intoxication before your thoughts could catch up with your actions. It was almost as if you weren’t thinking anything at all, but where acting on prime instinct. Your whole body screamed with utter frustration: every word that he spoke to you make you loathe him even more, you wouldn’t ever let him get away with it.

There was something that you too wanted most, no matter how abhorrent it was.

Your thighs squeezed into his sides where you had straddled him in his chair, holding on to him so tightly it hurt your muscles. The haste on your lips on his was messy and hot, a smearing of skin and teeth crashing together with fury, tongues rolling off eachother with an undeniable hunger. His arms didn’t wrap around you but rather clawed in your hair, pulling slightly at the roots while he pulled you in impossibly close. The mixing of your gasping breaths together where whiny and yearning. As he kissed into you, his lips curled into a devilish smile.

In your arousal, you shoved your hips into his lap, grinding down into your excitement and seeking some from him. To your surprise, you could feel his hardening dick which only made you weaker. All the hundreds of little fantasies that you had held so secret started to dance in your mind; your darkest thoughts pleaded for him to destroy you, to ravage you, just as you had imagined.

Jeonghan’s lips tore from your own which he had worked until they were swollen. He mouthed down your jaw to your neck, sucking at the skin with no chance of mercy, he pulled and sucked until you could only pathetically beg for him to slow down for fear of him breaking the skin.

He stopped immediately to pull your shirt over your head and pick up his work there. The wet of his gorgeously plump lips on your skin was as perfect as you had imagined and it sent shivers echoing through all your limbs.

“Jeong-Jeonghan--”

This time you perfectly aware that it was indeed his name that would escaping off your tongue.

“You dumb slut, you thought I didn’t know that you wanted me?”

“You-you want me too?”

Jeonghan worked at the buttons on your pants.

“Wanting implies that I like you. What I want most is to make you my toy. There’s a difference.”

You mumbled out the words knowing exactly how he would take them. “I’m not a fucking toy.”

Jeonghan tsked and unbuttoned his own shirt. “You don’t get to decide that.”

You drew your fingers down his model-like toned chest, marveling in the pink lines. Jeonghan grunted in response, taking you by the underside of your thighs to throw you down on your back against the hard plastic. Once he had the chance, he ridded you of your bottoms, running his hands up your inner legs to send you reeling. For a couple seconds, you could have sworn that he had stopped to admire your body, but he wouldn’t let you tell too easily.

“That door isn’t locked.”

“What? Are you scared that someone could walk in? Scared to for someone to see you all splayed out like this?” He rose to kiss up your stomach and up to your nipples. He flicked them between his fingers. “To have someone see me making a wreck of you?”

“N-no.”

With saliva drying on your sensitive buds, they turned hard in seconds when they met the air. Jeonghan wasn’t hesitant to pull at them with his teeth slightly, making you whine for him even more.

“What should I do to you first?”

One of his hands trickled down your body to palm at your quivering sex, slick with your excitement for him and aching for the smallest of touches.

“You want it that bad? Stupid whore.”

Your hand ventured down to tease at his own dick over the fabric of his slacks.

“You want it that bad?”

“Get off.” He growled at you, then took you by the arms to jerk you off of the table and onto your knees at the floor. Under your knees, the burn of the carpet stung. His belt buckle jingled a little as he hooked a finger in to remove it. Afterword, he shook his pants off followed by his briefs, springing loose his twitching member with the tip pink. He combed his fingers through your hair while he tapped his dick against your lips.

“Fucking take it.”

You would have fought him on it, but you succumbed out of your pure curiosity over his girth.

At first, you coaxed him into your mouth, not going in too deep as you were fearful about his length. Regardless, you took him in as best as you could, hollowing out your cheeks and throat, sucking with your lips and grabbing at his legs.

Jeonghan hissed out a sigh, letting himself fall further into the warmth of your mouth. He pushed at your head slightly, bringing you in just deep enough to trigger your gag reflex.

“Mmm there you go.” He cooed.

You kept going as he liked it, gradually working up in pace while it got a bit harder and harder for you to catch your breath.

“That’s as deep as you can go? Can’t even take a dick into your throat?”

His grip on your head tightened.

Jeonghan whispered, “Squeeze my leg if you want me to stop.” before helping your head all the way down, causing you to gag even harder and for tears to well in your eyes. “That’s more like it.”

He continued guiding your head, and slobber started to form around your mouth You felt so weak and pliable around him, he was thankless aside from the tiny moans he would let escape past his lips for you.

Usable as you felt, it was still a deliciously addictive feeling.  

All at once, he tore out of your mouth to bring you back up to your feet. In seconds he had turned you around to bend over the plastic tabletop, elbows digging into the cool surface. By now, you were practically dripping for him with knees and legs weak from kneeling. He kicked your legs open farther, gifting your ass a piercing slap that stung, then another followed after.

“Hungry for my cock, hmm?”

He teased your entrance without warning, sending your body crumbling over the table into a mess of whimpers and curses clenched behind your teeth. His lithe fingers were your fantasy come to life.

“I-I can’t wait any longer...” You urged him on.

Jeonghan pushed your face into the table then slid his fingers above to curl around your neck. He encircled around the skin slowly, then dug in to close your airway. You choked out desperate little sounds, then he entered you carefully, making sure that you felt every part of him.

“Hmm. Pretty...” He allowed you. Even though it was just one word of praise, you reveled in it.

His pale fingers choked you harder for a few more seconds until he properly got his pace inside of you, letting go to hold you by your waist. Once again, he clapped his hand into your skin as he fucked into you. All you could manage to do with your hands was claw helplessly at the smooth tabletop seeking some kind of balance that was nowhere to be found. He grazed the deepest and most sensitive spot within you and you felt yourself nearly reaching your climax.

“I-is that all that you can do?” You turned his confidence back against him, spurring him on just as you had wanted. He snapped his hips even faster, groaning out as he neared his release.

“My pretty little fucktoy. You’re all mine? Got it?”

Jeonghan leaned over your back to pant the words into your ear.

“Fucking say it.”

“I-I’m...” Your focus was scrambled as your orgasm pooled within.

“I’m yours...your...pretty-mm-fucktoy.”

Jeonghan came inside of you with white heat, pulsating forcefully, with you following soon after while he milked himself with your walls. Even as you still came down, he rolled his hips into you over and over until your whole body was shaking helplessly.

“That’s right.” He pulled out, then pulled your legs apart to watch his cum fall out of your hole.

Jeonghan laughed to himself, “Thank you for giving me what I wanted.”

[rammywrites]

Naliligaw

As I was aimlessly scrolling through my feed, one tweet caught my eye. It was about a Filipino film starring one of the country’s most popular love teams. “Alone/Together,” the post said, “is nothing but a hot pile of mess”. Intrigued by such a strong comment, I decided to watch the movie and be the judge myself. Little did I know the impact its story would have on me; it was the wake-up call I needed the most in a time full of doubt and confusion.

Alone/Together shares the love story between Christine “Tin” Lazaro (Liza Soberano), an overachieving Art Studies major from UP, and Rafael “Raf” Toledo (Enrique Gil), a UST Biology student barely passing his program. Once loving college sweethearts, the movie shows their reunion five years after their break-up and recounts the moments that led to their separation. The plot revolves around their rekindling relationship; however, it wasn’t the romance that struck me the most. It was Christine’s story that drew me into the film.

Honor before excellence. Matapang. Walang takot. Anong nangyari sa’kin? Pag na’sa harapan na pala, iba eh. Mahirap maging matapang. Mauunahan ka ng takot.

Iska Christine had her life set. She was graduating with honors, applying for a prestigious scholarship, and planning to work at the world’s most renowned museums as an archivist. Fate, however, had other plans.

Years after the couple’s break-up, it is revealed that Tin did not get to achieve her goals. Because of a scandal during her first job, she settles for an entirely different career – living a stable yet unhappy life. Unexpectedly, her ex-boyfriend becomes a successful doctor, a far cry from his college self. Raf encourages her to have another try at reaching her dreams, but she insists that it is too late for a change.

Christine is the embodiment of my anxieties. The once idealistic and determined Tin became a tired and defeated one. She branded herself as a failure, let her fears consume her whole, and chose to succumb to the curse of adulthood. Watching her change made me realize how vulnerable I also was to reality. What if I, with my big plans and even bigger dreams, also end up in a miserable state? 

Growing up, I was also known as the stereotypical achiever with a Type A personality. I was the person who would receive at least three planners every Christmas as if they all knew how much of a perfectionist I was with my life. Now, many of them question my decisions. Despite being in a respectable school, the words duwag and sayang softly escape their lips as they speak behind my back. My relatives, who expected me to be the family’s first doctor, now meet me with pity as the Science and Math books I’ve been collecting now gather dust beneath my bed. 

I act unbothered, but I do care. Every lost opportunity has become a regret, and every regret haunts my mind. Although I still dream of a good future, I also slowly drown pressure. 

Like Tin, it seems like the universe’s plans and my goals also wish to stay parallel to each other. I realize that real life isn’t that kind to optimists like us.  Disappointment always finds a way to meddle in our lives.  

Despite my doubts, I still have a positive side that continues to be hopeful. 

It does not come as a surprise, especially with the Filipinos’ love for happy endings, that Christine experiences a good change. The film ends with Tin picking herself up from her losses – a tough journey to witness, but an inspiring one nonetheless. It shows that Alone/Together is not only a love story between two young people; it is also a story of loving one’s self despite all flaws and shortcomings.

Tin’s story reminds me that I’m still so young to be worrying so much. Maybe things did not go as planned for a reason; maybe I was meant for greater things, or maybe my paths changed to teach me a lesson. Maybe I am in need of a Raf to remind me to move on and embrace life’s uncertainties (joking...unless?). 

I am only 19, a freshman with many years ahead of her. I may never know what to expect, but it is more important to embrace life as it is and learn from whatever happens. Wherever I may end up, I can only hope for the best.

Written by Airam Limatog

[hotmesshapa]

Hold On • Bang Chan

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: some angst, a whole lotta fluff

word count: 1.6k

warnings: some strong language, descriptions of an anxiety attack

a/n: I started writing this at like 2am one night when I was in my chan feels, then homeboy played Michael Bublé during his last vlive and I took that as my sign to finish it lol. I also highkey recommend the song mentioned in this it totally didn’t make me cry while I was editing this noooo not at all 🖤

You pace back and forth in front of your front door, chewing on your bottom lip, occasionally checking the time on your phone as you impatiently wait for the mail to come. You try to distract yourself by scrolling through instagram and literally every other app you have, but your brain is too focused on one thing: an acceptance letter.

It’s a sunny but chilly Friday of what normally would be a regular week. This week, however, is the week universities send out their acceptance letters, and the first four days were complete agony of not hearing anything back. You had applied to one of the most prestigious graduate schools in the country, one that’s been around for hundreds of years and for some reason didn’t think it needed to upgrade its acceptance announcements with the current century. Honestly, you didn’t know people still sent actual letters anymore, but there’s something a bit comforting in receiving a physical copy of something that could be so important and life-changing to you. You had worked your ass off the day you started your courses in college, ultimately graduating two years ago with high honors and glowing recommendations from a few of your professors. Since then, you managed to score two internships in the film industry, all while working a part-time job and somehow not going completely insane. You did everything you could for a spot in that university’s graduate program, but despite everyone telling you that your acceptance is a sure thing, you still were insanely nervous.

To be honest, you don’t need to go to graduate school. Your bachelor’s degree and internships qualify you for any job you wanted in the industry, let alone your work ethic and resume you’ve built over the past two years. But you love learning, and this is the change to to meet new people and gain new experiences that you could only get from a graduate program. And sure, you didn’t need to apply to such a distinguished school, but the perfectionist inside you wanted the best of the best, and nearly all of your professors and friends encouraged you to apply, so how could you not?

After a few minutes of constant pacing, you check your phone again and let out a shaky breath, your nerves nowhere near being calmed. You sit yourself down in from of the door’s little mail slot and just stare.

“Baby,” Chan chuckles, watching you from the couch as he works on his laptop. “The mail isn’t gonna get here any faster if you stare at the door.”

“I know, but who knows, maybe the mailman will be able to sense my intense gaze from wherever he is and speed over.”

You hear your boyfriend rise from the couch and walk to where you’re planted, sitting behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “You worked hard for this, Y/N, they’d be crazy not to accept you. I’m sure you got in.”

You hum in appreciation and lean back against chest, smiling as he tenderly kisses your temple. Chan, being the actual angel that he is, was one of the main reasons you had managed not to completely lose your shit throughout the entire application process and waiting period. You two know each other like the back of your hand; anytime one of you (mostly you) would get stressed out over something, the other would always be there to help. But for Chan, it’s like he has a sixth sense for knowing when you’re going through it, because he’d be by your side within an instant. He was, and still is, your voice of reason, your comfort, your everything.

He takes your hands in his, gently rubbing circles against your palms. “Don’t worry, I’m sure the letter will arrive any moment now.”

The two of you stare at the door for a few minutes, before you can’t help but check the time on your phone again, and you release a worried sigh, beginning to impatiently tap on the floor. As if he could read your mind, Chan pulls you tighter against his body and snuggles his face into the curve of your neck. “Just relax Y/N.”

Once you manage to calm your nerves down again, he slowly gets up, eliciting a small whimper from you from the loss of his warmth, which only gets you a chuckle in response. “I’m gonna make some hot chocolate, want any?”

“Yes please, with a lot-“

“Of marshmallows, I know,” he laughs as he makes his way to the kitchen.

You smile, resting your chin on your hand, and turn your attention back to the mail slot. You wait as patiently as you possibly can for another five minutes, before you hear a crash from the kitchen. “You okay?” you call out, not taking your eyes off the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine… Just wondering, where do you keep your broom?”

“Christopher Bang, what did you-“

At that exact moment, the mail slot opens and you’re greeted with piles of letters and papers falling into your lap. With shaky hands, you sort through the mail, tossing a couple bills, a magazine, and some weird catalog from a brand you’ve never even heard of aside before finally digging up the letter you’ve been waiting for. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest as you frantically try to rip it open without giving yourself a paper cut.

“Was that the mail? Did it come?” Chan calls out from the kitchen, but you’re too in your own head to put words together to form an answer. 

You finally manage to open up the envelope, your hands trembling as you pull out the letter and slowly unfold it. All the words just seem to blur together, except the ones that catch your attention:

not accepted

In a matter of seconds, you feel yourself spiral. Your breathing begins to become more shallow and quicken, while your mind begins to race a million miles per second, trying to make of what you just read. 

What are you gonna do now? 

All that work, for what, nothing? 

Did you do something wrong?

Is there something wrong with you?

Are you just not good enough? 

A tear falls on the paper you’re holding, smearing the ink stating your failure, but you didn’t even realize you were crying until then. You furiously wipe them away with the back of your hand, but no matter what you do, tears just keep falling, and you can feel yourself beginning to hyperventilate, you whole body trembling. You know this isn’t the end of the world, but then why did it feel like it is?

“Y/N? Did you hear-“

You turn to your boyfriend, and the look on your face must have said it all, because the next thing you know, Chan is engulfing you in a warm hug, stroking your hair as you start to sob into his chest. “Hey, everything’s going to be okay. Y/N, please listen to me. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll figure something out.” He kisses the top of your head and continues to let you cry as he hugs you close.

It seems like eternity, but you manage to calm yourself down a bit, clinging to Chan’s hoodie while listening to his steady heartbeat, and you finally bring yourself to look up at him. “I just… I just really thought I was gonna get in,” you say quietly, your eyes welling up again.

He gingerly wipes away the tears from your cheeks and offers you a sympathetic smile. “I know, baby, I know. I’m so sorry.” He pulls you back into a hug, rubbing your back to help ease the knots that had build up there from the stress. “Fuck them,” he mumbles against your hair. “It’s their loss for not choosing one of the smartest and hardest working people on this planet.”

You let out a weak laugh in response, grateful for his attempt to crack some jokes to ease the tension. You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, closing you eyes to try to get rid of the stress that lingered in your head.

“I have an idea,” Chan suddenly says, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen in the room. He gently pulls away from you, and you watch in confusion as he makes his way across the living room, taking his phone out from his pocket and placing it on the coffee table. 

The next thing you know, Michael Bublé’s “Hold On” fills the room, and a small smile forms on your lips as Chan turns to you, offering his hand. You take it, and he pulls up from where you’re seated and close to his strong body, putting his hands on your waist as your arms instinctively wrap around his neck. Slowly, the two of you begin to sway to the music, and you feel any remaining sadness and tension drain from your body as you dance with your boyfriend, and your smile begins to grow.

“So hold on to me tight, hold on, I promise it will be alright,” Chan’s smooth voice sings along with the music, and he’s looking at you with so much adoration, you can feel your heart swell. “Cause it’s you and me together, and baby all we’ve got is time. So hold on to me, hold on to me tonight,” he continues to serenade you, and you can’t help but giggle, causing him to start giggling as well.

You rest your head on his shoulder, releasing a sigh in content as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I love you Chan.”

“I love you too.”

[olivish]

Some thoughts about Melanie Cavill and her beautiful mind. 

I agree with others that Mel is neurodivergent/ autistic. I think this helps explain her passion and focus, and also why, in S1, she was so adept at “putting on a mask” and pretending to be someone else. Basically, I think she had been masking in some way or another her entire life, so when the time came to create the “Hospitality Melanie” persona, it was already second nature. 

I think this also explains why it took Melanie so long to see Wilford for the monster he is, and why he was able to control/ manipulate her for most of her life, despite her superior intelligence.  On that note, here are some of my MC HCs (I hope it goes without saying, I don’t mean to imply that anything described below is necessarily an “autistic” trait. This is simply how I imagine Melanie the person, who also happens to have autism.)

1. Before meeting Wilford, Melanie struggled to find her place in the world. She dropped out of high school because she was bored with the lessons and couldn’t be bothered to complete assignments. She had no friends, and most adults wrote her off as a trouble-maker.

Her family was poor, so she “borrowed” things they needed for the farm (some of them rather LARGE things), which earned her a juvenile record for theft. 

2. Because of this, Melanie believed she’d never go to college. That was fine, she thought, she wouldn’t fit in there. She didn’t fit in anywhere. The only person who didn’t make her feel like a misfit was her father, John Cavill, who was a patient man who loved farming, and who taught his daughter everything he knew about the trade. 

It wasn’t long, however, before John ran out of knowledge to share. Melanie was 8 when her father took her to the local library. “So,” he said. “What do you want to know?” 

“Everything.” 

From that moment on, John watched his daughter surpass him in every subject, every field of study. It was hard, not because he was prideful, but because it felt like he was losing her. But not completely. At least, not yet. 

Because for years after that, Melanie would seek her father out, and she’d talk at length about the topics that interested her, and he listened, enjoying her company, even after he ceased to understand a single word that came out of her mouth. 

I mean that literally. 

“Certains nématodes posent problème en agriculture parce qu'ils parasites des plantes ou des animaux d'élevage, mais la plupart stimulent la croissance en améliorant le cycle des nutriments.” “Mellie.” “Oui, papa?”  “You’re speaking French again.”  “Oh. Sorry.” 

3. Melanie’s mother was a different story. Shanon Cavill, nee Shanon O’Connell, was stern, intelligent and, due to an undiagnosed mood disorder, emotionally unstable. She’d lose her temper at the drop of a hat, and although she loved her daughter, she didn’t understand her. Shanon didn’t understand why someone so brilliant was throwing her life away. Dropping out of school, getting arrested, fooling around with boys, and girls, who didn’t care about her, and who only got her into trouble. 

Shanon said many words in the heat of many moments that she could never take back. Foolish. Reckless. Lazy. Quitter. 

The day Joseph Wilford showed up at the farm looking for Melanie, Shanon peered at him through the porch screen door. “Did she steal something from you?” she asked. “Because whatever it is, we can’t pay you back, so you’d best just leave before I let the dogs out.” 

Looking back, Wilford deeply regrets not heeding the lady Cavill’s advice. 

4. Melanie saw Wilford as her missing piece. Melanie always knew she was “bad with people”. To her, human beings were confounding black boxes.  INPUT > [???] > UNEXPECTED RESULT, USUALLY BAD. 

But Wilford. Joseph Wilford was a social magician! She watched in awe. Everyone adored him. He’d tell a joke and everyone laughed. Anything they needed for their work - funding, IP rights, permits, materials, labor - he procured through sheer force of charisma. 

He was just like her, except he had that one missing piece. 

It was the apparent gap in their interpersonal skills that led Melanie to conclude that she could never be a leader like him. That’s why she allowed Wilford to take credit for her work, why she believed him when he said it was better for all involved if she remained a ‘silent partner.’ 

That’s also why she never tried to run Snowpiercer as herself. Despite having all the skills, Melanie couldn’t imagine anyone would follow her leadership. 

(I think she was wrong about that...) 

5. It was Wilford who sent Melanie to college, and it was Wilford who coached her on how to “mask.” As a sociopath, nearly all of Wilford’s social interactions are theatre. They have to be. So when he met Melanie, he immediately saw what her problem was - the silly girl wasn’t acting! 

So he sat her down one day and gave her a gift. “A chess game?” she said. 

“Not a game. This box contains the secret to the universe.” 

She smiled, but he was serious. As Wilford set up the pieces he explained, “This is the whole world. Every type of person you’ll ever meet is here. Pawns, knights, bishops. They all have their rules, their own little scripts. The trick is, figure them out, while revealing nothing about yourself.” 

She didn’t understand, but in time, she would. Wilford taught her how to survive, but not as herself. He taught her to hide, to blend in, and to trust nobody but him. 

And it worked, to a certain extent. Melanie earned degrees from MIT and Yale, graduating with the highest honors, lauded as a prodigy. A recruiter from NASA asked if she’d be interested in applying for the astronaut program. Elon Musk asked the same thing, but he offered more money. 

Melanie could have worked anywhere. Done anything. But she went back to Wilford, partly out of loyalty, and partly because she believed he was the only person in the world who truly knew her, and saw her, and valued her for who she was. 

They weren’t lovers, but Melanie considered him just as close. For many years, he was her one partner and closest friend. 

6. When Melanie got pregnant with Alex, she was afraid she’d be a bad mother. She worried that she wouldn’t have that mysterious ‘maternal instinct’ that seemed to come naturally to other women. She thought maybe she was “broken” in a very particular way and shouldn’t be a parent. 

Those worries disappeared once Alex was born. More than that, Melanie’s deep connection with Alex made her consider that maybe she’d underestimated herself. In motherhood, Melanie found courage. She built stronger friendships with Ben & Jinju, and she began to interact with Wilford on a more equal footing. 

She started speaking up about things she never dared interfere with before. She didn’t like the company’s environmental practices. Their anti-union stances. Their parental leave policies were atrocious. Wilford was beside himself. He didn’t recognize her. He couldn’t wrap his mind around what happened. 

At a loss, Wilford blamed his catch-all word for human behavior that fell outside his bounds of understanding. 

“Sentimentality.” 

7. When Melanie lost Alex, she lost faith in herself. It wasn’t just the grief, or the guilt, though those were enormous. Melanie understood now: Alex was her missing piece. Alex was the one thing that made Melanie feel like she could do anything.

It cannot be overstated what a colossal blunder it was for Wilford to return Melanie’s superpower to her. He thought he was being clever in saving Alex, but from the moment Melanie blew up Big Alice’s connector and Alex gave her that grudging look of respect, all bets were off. 

Melanie remembered who she was. The awakening started with Layton, but it ended with Alex. 

Final thoughts: Melanie’s particular neurology has been a hot-button issue in the past, so I’m a little nervous posting this. Please reach out to me with any comments or concerns. Everything here is written with an open heart in good faith, and while I’m allergic to argument, I am addicted to discussion. <3

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 1

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,270 words

Warnings: Language

Masterlist

Summary: After your life fell apart six months ago, you decided it was time for a change. So, you moved to Colombia, taking a position at a local hospital. Your family thinks you’re insane, but The Murphys couldn’t be happier having you as their neighbor. Upon your first, and very brief, meeting with Agent Peña, you’ve captivated him. Despite Steve’s warnings, Javier still wants to get to know you on a more personal level.

A/N: This takes place a little into season 1. This is my first time writing Javier. So, please let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my taglist!

Your POV

You had been living in Colombia for about a week, working at the hospital as a doctor. You had signed up for one of those Doctors Without Borders programs after you broke it off with your faithless, bastard of a fiancé. You needed a change of pace and a change of scenery - a way to forget about what happened. When he heard you were leaving, he accused you of running away from your problems instead of trying to fix them. Maybe he was right, but after catching him sleeping with your Maid of Honor, you knew there was no fixing your problems. You wanted to leave that life, the memories and pain, behind and find yourself somewhere new.

Your old college friend and roommate, Connie, told you about the hospital in Colombia and how it was in terrible need of assistance. Luckily for you, she had said, there was even an apartment in her building that had just opened up. You took this as a good sign and applied for the position. Your family, mother in particular, thought you had lost your mind. Colombia was dangerous; especially with the likes of Pablo Escobar running rampant. However, you reassured her that you weren’t alone since Connie and her husband Steve were down there and were going to be your neighbors in Bogotá. 

You moved down there in March, just before Spring. You decided to head down a few weeks early to get acclimated to the area and comfortable in your new apartment. Connie sat with you in the middle of your floor as you unpacked some boxes with a wine bottle between the two of you. “I’m so glad you took the job,” she said sipping on the red wine.

You smiled. “I had to get out of there. Everywhere I went, people stared at me, pitied me for what he did.”

Connie shook her head and took another drink. “I still can’t believe Michael did that to you. You guys had been together since undergrad!”

“I don’t know if his or Hannah’s betrayal hurt worse,” you sighed, taking a huge swig of wine, “but now I’m here ready to start over.” 

You froze as you pulled out a photo album from a box. It was your engagement photos. Instinctively, Connie reached for the album. “I’ll get rid of this.”

You pulled it back. “No. I want to keep it. It can always remind me that things could be worse.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’ll stay in this box forever, probably, but I’ll still have that reminder. No matter how bad things get, I didn’t marry a lying bastard.”

Connie laughed and held her wine glass up. “Cheers to that, girl.”

You pushed your glasses up on your face and stretched. “I have so much unpacking still, but it’s getting late.”

“I can stop by after work tomorrow if you want.”

“You sure Steve won’t mind?”

She shook her head. “He’s been working late these last few nights. But, if he is coming home early, I can have him pick up dinner for the three of us.”

You knew Steve was a DEA Agent and that he volunteered for this job when his partner in Miami was murdered. This move had been rough on Connie, but she loved her husband dearly and would follow him to the ends of the Earth. Your heart ached for that kind of love, but you knew that with the cards you had been dealt, you needed to wait for a new hand. “If he doesn’t mind, then Girls’ Night Round 2 will commence.”

There was a knock at the door. You looked puzzled at Connie. You literally only knew Connie and Steve down here, so you weren’t expecting anyone. You stood up from the floor and fixed the messy bun your hair was in. You opened the door and saw Steve standing there with another man. You had seen him before and figured he worked with Steve and lived nearby. “Hey, Y/N,” he said, giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek, “is Connie still here?”

“I’m in here, Steve,” she said holding up her glass of wine at him. 

“Ah, yes. I see you two are still catching up.”

You laughed. “Come on in. It’s not much, because we are still unpacking.”

Steve and his friend stepped inside. You adjusted your glasses again and grinned at him. The man behind Steve cleared his throat. “Oh, sorry. Y/N, this is my partner Javier Peña.”

You held out your hand for him to shake. He grabbed it and gave you a devilish grin. “Nice to meet you,” you said.

“Mucho gusto,” he said in Spanish. The syllables flowed off his tongue and almost had you melting where you stood. You could tell just by those two words he was exactly what you wanted to avoid. You glanced up at his dark brown eyes and smiled. No matter how good looking this man was, you needed to avoid him at all costs. He smelled like trouble.

You turned away and walked back into the room with Connie. “What did you need, honey?” she asked.

“We gotta fly out tonight,” he said, “to Medellín.”

She stood up. “For how long?”

He shrugged. “Few days probably.”

Connie sat her glass down. “Thank God I have Y/N to keep me company then.”

“I’m sure we can find plenty of trouble to get into while you’re gone,” you said with a grin. 

Steve laughed and shook his head. “Just don’t get too friendly with the local law enforcement while we are gone.”

“Hey,” you argued, “I haven’t been friendly with them since after I completed my residency.” You saw Javier’s eyebrows raise in curiosity, but you ignored him. “And even then I still talked my way out of the cell.”

“Connie, she’s not helping,” he said.

“I’ll keep her out of trouble. We will be more focused on setting up her apartment anyway.”

Smiling, Steve leaned in to kiss his wife. “I’ll call you when I can.”

“Be safe. Love you.”

“I love you, too.”

He and Javier walked out of the door. Before closing it behind him, Javier turned to you and said, “It was nice meeting you, Y/N.”

You smiled and nodded. “Likewise.”

You waited a few seconds before saying anything to Connie. “He radiates trouble.”

Connie sat back down on the ground and laughed. “You could say that. I love Javi, but he’s a little more trouble than you would want right now.”

“I doubt I’ll see much of him once I start working anyway.”

She grinned at you and took another sip of her wine.

His POV

He followed Steve down the stairs of their apartment complex without saying a word. It wasn’t until they reached his Jeep did Steve finally break the silence. “Okay, man, just say it,” he said.

“Say what?”

“I’m not a moron Peña.”

He grinned and started the car. Boston came on through the speaker. “I fucking love this band,” he said, cranking up the volume. 

Steve leaned over and turned it down. “Come on. I saw you look at her.”

“I had to when you introduced me.”

“Okay, but I saw you look at her. Just promise me this, you won’t try anything with her. She’s one of Connie’s best friends and she’s been through enough. I don’t need my wife trying to murder my partner because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

Javier laughed and put his Jeep in drive. “With our schedule, I don’t think I’d have time to try anyway.”

Steve let out an audible, annoyed sigh. He knew that was Peña’s way of getting around making any promises. Luckily, he knew Y/N well enough to know she could hold her own. If she didn’t want a man to fuck with her, she’d let them have it. Part of him wanted to see her give Peña’s ego a reality check, but the other part didn’t want him anywhere near her. 

They rode in silence for a little while, and Javier’s mind began to wander. In her messy bun, glasses, oversized concert shirt, and short shorts, she was the sexiest woman he’d seen. He wanted to run his hands down over her round, plump ass and pull her down on his lap, devouring as much of her as he could. He could still feel her soft, delicate hand in his while she gave him a nice firm handshake. He pictured taking each of those fingers and nibbling on them before he worked his way to her wrist and up the rest of her arm. These thoughts made him a little uncomfortable and he adjusted in his seat.

Steve looked at him, disgusted. “I know what you’re thinking about. Find the local whorehouse when we get to Medellín, please, so you can get this out of your system.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “I can’t help it. You didn’t warn me that your wife’s friend looked like that!”

Steve rested his hand in his hand near the window. “Look, man, she will destroy you. Trust me, she wants nothing to do with your shit right now. I’m pretty sure she hates all men.”

“What happened?”

“Her piece of shit fiancé slept with her Maid of Honor about two months before the wedding.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah. So leave her alone.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t do anything that will make her regret moving to Bogotá.”

He did it again. Made a promise without making a promise he would break. Steve leaned forward and turned the music up a little bit. An Aerosmith song was playing now and offered as a nice distraction from their current topic. Steve knew there was no way he would get Javier to promise he wouldn’t try to sleep with Y/N. 

Your POV

Just as she promised, Connie came over after work to help you finish setting up your apartment. You had everything out of the boxes, now and were working on organizing things. Connie walked in with food from a local bar just down the street and some more wine. “I figured if Steve is still gone tomorrow, we can go out with a few people from the hospital. It’ll be a great chance for you to meet everyone.”

You took a bite of your food. “Just let me know what time.”

“The staff is wonderful down here. How’s your Spanish?”

“Rusty, but I think I can manage.”

“Great! I’ll come by after work tomorrow to come get you. It’s just a short walk from here.”

You finished your dinner and downed a glass of wine. Connie noticed when she walked in that you were a little off. She noticed how puffy and red your eyes were, but she figured that was from wearing contacts all day. “Is everything okay?”

You sighed and put your head in your hands. “Michael called this afternoon. He was begging me to come home and work it out.”

“How did he get your number?”

You shrugged. “I have no idea. I want to say my mother, but there’s no way she would have given it to him. He wants to burn him alive for what he did to me.”

“What did you tell him?”

“To fuck off.” You tried to fake a smile, but it didn’t work.

Connie caught on. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But you don’t have to deal with him anymore. He’s out of your life now. You’re somewhere new, ready to move on.”

Sighing, you took another sip of your wine. “It’s not that simple, Connie. We were together through undergrad, through med school. I thought he was it. The love of my life. I can’t just forget that.”

She reached forward and grabbed your hand. “I know, but don’t let him get to you. Who knows how long they were fucking before you caught them.”

“A year. Or so he says.”

“A year! You were engaged for almost a year!”

You felt the tears brimming in your eyes, ready to stream down your cheeks. “I know. I still have more questions than he had answers.”

“When I told Steve what happened, he was ready to fly home and murder Michael himself.”

You smiled. “Tell him he can take a number.”

Connie laughed. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

You shrugged your shoulders. "It's fine," you said, "I don't know what I would have done if Kate wasn't there."

She came around the counter and wrapped an arm around you, putting her head on your shoulder. "She should come down once you're settled. I miss her."

"I told her that once I was moved in, I would give her a call."

She smiled and clapped her hands. "It'll be just like senior year!"

You grabbed the dishes and placed them in your sink, scrubbing the food off them before letting them dry. Connie moved into your living room and started organizing all of your books by genre. "I can't believe you brought all of these," she said. 

"I only brought my favorites!" You defended. 

The bookshelves were set up comfortably around your TV set and were just barely big enough to house all of your books. You followed behind Connie placing picture frames and knick-knacks on the shelves to give your little library more character. You stopped when you found a picture that was taken of your med school graduation. You and Connie were surrounded by your friends with Steve clinging to her side...and Michael to yours. It was one of your favorite pictures, but now it only brought back the pain. You gently set it on the second shelf, at eye level for you. Connie watched you stare at it and felt her heart break for you. She waited for you to say something first. "What hurts the most is remembering all of the moments like these. The nostalgia of when we were happy and in love."

Connie walked over to you and rested her hand on your back. "We had so much fun that night," she smiled. 

"And given what I know, I would do it all over again."

The phone rang, startling both of you. You rolled your eyes. "I'll answer it," Connie said.

She walked to the wall where you mounted your phone and picked up the line. "Hello?"

"Y/N?" A familiar masculine voice said on the other end. 

"She's busy," Connie dryly replied. 

"Oh, it's you, Connie."

"She doesn't want to talk to you, Michael. So, stop calling here."

"You don't understand. I need her back. I cannot do this without her."

"Well, you should have thought about before you started fucking Hannah."

"I made a mistake," he pleaded.

"Clearly you weren't that sorry if you kept going back."

She heard him sigh through the receiver. "This is between me and Y/N. Give her the phone."

"She's getting ready. We're heading out with Steve and his partner Javi for the evening to celebrate her leaving your worthless ass."

"Wait. Javi-" she slammed the receiver on the wall and turned to face you. 

"Now that's settled, back to decorating." She was obviously very proud of herself.

"Javi?" You grinned.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. It's not like he's going to come down here to bring you home."

You laughed. "Thank you."

"Of course." She finished putting the books away for you before going to the stacks of pictures on the floor. “Y/N, we need to update some of these.”

“Let’s do it!” You saw Connie taking the photos out of frames and making piles of them on your side table. She laid them neatly inside the drawer. She, then, started hanging up the empty frames. “What are you doing?”

“That way you remember that we should update them with pictures down here.”

You smiled at her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

His POV

They were on a stake out just outside of a rundown building that they believed was one of Escobar’s operations. They needed to find proof that Escobar was in fact a Narcos to help derail his political ambitions. Javi sat in the passenger seat staring out the window, finding it hard to keep his eyes open. “Hey,” Steve said, “wake up. I’m not going to sit here on this stake out on my own.”

Javier grumbled and sat up in his seat. “Look, no one has come in or out of this building for hours. I think we need to throw it in. We got bad information.”

Steve leaned his head back on the headrest and sighed. “You might be right. I don’t know what’s worse. This or sitting back at the office going through paperwork.”

He laughed and grabbed a cigarette to light. “I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh great. I absolutely love it when you do that.”

Javier rolled his eyes. “I think Connie’s friend needs a good distraction to forget what that piece of shit fiancé did to her.”

“Are we seriously going to talk about this again?”

“Come on, Steve. You can’t forbid me from talking to her. That makes her like…” he paused, trying to think of the appropriate metaphor, “forbidden fruit.”

“Forbidden Fruit?” Steve laughed. “Jesus Christ.”

“You know that just makes her that much sexier to me.”

Steve adjusted in his seat to look at his partner. “I can’t even pretend to be surprised by this. Shouldn’t you be more worried about your...ahem...contacts?”

Javier gave him a devilish grin. “Just introduce us. Properly, this time. Not just in passing like you did.”

He shook his head. “Nope. You’re going to have to ask Connie for that. I refuse to get involved.”

Javier let out an exasperated sigh and flicked some of his ashes out of the window. “I’ll just do it myself.”

Steve knew that Javier was a persistent bastard, especially when he set his mind to something. Had this been ten years ago, he might have actually considered setting the two of them up. She was his type, and fiery enough to keep Javier on his toes. But now? He’d known both her and Michael for years. He knew how in love they were, and how she would do anything to make him happy. Javier would only make her life more complicated right now, and he didn’t want to put her through any more shit. “Peña, I seriously suggest you leave her alone. Her life fell apart only a few months ago. Connie said she broke down more than once unpacking her things. She’s not going to just jump into bed with you after the one person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with broke her heart. Hell, I doubt she’s ever going to trust anyone ever again. They were together for eight years before he popped the question. You can’t forget someone like that.”

Javier took a minute to think on what Steve said. It wasn’t too long ago when he broke his own bride’s trust, leaving her at the altar, embarrassed and alone. Several months after things cooled down from the incident, he asked his father about Lorraine. She was distraught. After all, they were together for almost as long, if not longer than Y/N and her fiancé. He never knew if she found someone and moved on with her life. He couldn’t bring himself to digging into her, for fear of her finding out. He had done enough damage. It was then that he understood the pain Y/N harbored. “Fine, you fucking hillbilly. You’ve made your point. I don’t want to cause her anymore pain.”

[myacademia-susuganan-deku]

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✌ STREAMING MEDIA ✌ Streaming media is multimedia that is constantly received by and presented to an end-user while being delivered by a provider. The verb to stream refers to the procedure of delivering or obtaining media this way.[clarification needed] Streaming identifies the delivery approach to the medium, rather than the medium itself. Distinguishing delivery method from the media distributed applies especially to telecommunications networks, as almost all of the delivery systems are either inherently streaming (e.g. radio, television, streaming apps) or inherently non-streaming (e.g. books, video cassettes, audio tracks CDs). There are challenges with streaming content on the web. For instance, users whose Internet connection lacks sufficient bandwidth may experience stops, lags, or slow buffering of this content. And users lacking compatible hardware or software systems may be unable to stream certain content. Streaming is an alternative to file downloading, an activity in which the end-user obtains the entire file for the content before watching or listening to it. Through streaming, an end-user may use their media player to get started on playing digital video or digital sound content before the complete file has been transmitted. The term “streaming media” can connect with media other than video and audio, such as for example live closed captioning, ticker tape, and real-time text, which are considered “streaming text”. This brings me around to discussing us, a film release of the Christian religio us faith-based . As almost customary, Hollywood usually generates two (maybe three) films of this variety movies within their yearly theatrical release lineup, with the releases usually being around spring us and / or fall Habitfully. I didn’t hear much when this movie was initially aounced (probably got buried underneath all of the popular movies news on the newsfeed). My first actual glimpse of the movie was when the film’s movie trailer premiered, which looked somewhat interesting if you ask me. Yes, it looked the movie was goa be the typical “faith-based” vibe, but it was going to be directed by the Erwin Brothers, who directed I COULD Only Imagine (a film that I did so like). Plus, the trailer for I Still Believe premiered for quite some us, so I continued seeing it most of us when I visited my local cinema. You can sort of say that it was a bit “engrained in my brain”. Thus, I was a lttle bit keen on seeing it. Fortunately, I was able to see it before the COVID-9 outbreak closed the movie theaters down (saw it during its opening night), but, because of work scheduling, I haven’t had the us to do my review for it…. as yet. And what did I think of it? Well, it was pretty “meh”. While its heart is certainly in the proper place and quite sincere, us is a little too preachy and unbalanced within its narrative execution and character developments. The religious message is plainly there, but takes way too many detours and not focusing on certain aspects that weigh the feature’s presentation.

✌ TELEVISION SHOW AND HISTORY ✌ A tv set show (often simply Television show) is any content prBookmark this siteoduced for broadcast via over-the-air, satellite, cable, or internet and typically viewed on a television set set, excluding breaking news, advertisements, or trailers that are usually placed between shows. Tv shows are most often scheduled well ahead of The War with Grandpa and appearance on electronic guides or other TV listings. A television show may also be called a tv set program (British EnBookmark this siteglish: programme), especially if it lacks a narrative structure. A tv set Movies is The War with Grandpaually released in episodes that follow a narrative, and so are The War with Grandpaually split into seasons (The War with Grandpa and Canada) or Movies (UK) — yearly or semiaual sets of new episodes. A show with a restricted number of episodes could be called a miniMBookmark this siteovies, serial, or limited Movies. A one-The War with Grandpa show may be called a “special”. A television film (“made-for-TV movie” or “televisioBookmark this siten movie”) is a film that is initially broadcast on television set rather than released in theaters or direct-to-video. Television shows may very well be Bookmark this sitehey are broadcast in real The War with Grandpa (live), be recorded on home video or an electronic video recorder for later viewing, or be looked at on demand via a set-top box or streameBookmark this sited on the internet. The first television set shows were experimental, sporadic broadcasts viewable only within an extremely short range from the broadcast tower starting in the. Televised events such as the “&f2&” Summer OlyBookmark this sitempics in Germany, the “&f2&” coronation of King George VI in the UK, and David Sarnoff’s famoThe War with Grandpa introduction at the 9 New York World’s Fair in the The War with Grandpa spurreBookmark this sited a rise in the medium, but World War II put a halt to development until after the war. The “&f2&” World Movies inspired many Americans to buy their first tv set and in “&f2&”, the favorite radio show Texaco Star Theater made the move and became the first weekly televised variety show, earning host Milton Berle the name “Mr Television” and demonstrating that the medium was a well balanced, modern form of entertainment which could attract advertisers. The firsBookmBookmark this siteark this sitet national live tv broadcast in the The War with Grandpa took place on September 1, “&f2&” when President Harry Truman’s speech at the Japanese Peace Treaty Conference in SAN FRAKung Fu CO BAY AREA was transmitted over AT&T’s transcontinental cable and microwave radio relay system to broadcast stations in local markets.

✌ FINAL THOUGHTS ✌ The power of faith, “&e2&”, and affinity for take center stage in Jeremy Camp’s life story in the movie I Still Believe. Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) examine the life span and The War with Grandpas of Jeremy Camp’s life story; pin-pointing his early life along with his relationship Melissa Heing because they battle hardships and their enduring “&e2&” for one another through difficult. While the movie’s intent and thematic message of a person’s faith through troublen is indeed palpable plus the likeable mThe War with Grandpaical performances, the film certainly strules to look for a cinematic footing in its execution, including a sluish pace, fragmented pieces, predicable plot beats, too preachy / cheesy dialogue moments, over utilized religion overtones, and mismanagement of many of its secondary /supporting characters. If you ask me, this movie was somewhere between okay and “meh”. It had been definitely a Christian faith-based movie endeavor Bookmark this web site (from begin to finish) and definitely had its moments, nonetheless it failed to resonate with me; struling to locate a proper balance in its undertaking. Personally, regardless of the story, it could’ve been better. My recommendation for this movie is an “iffy choice” at best as some should (nothing wrong with that), while others will not and dismiss it altogether. Whatever your stance on religion faith-based flicks, stands as more of a cautionary tale of sorts; demonstrating how a poignant and heartfelt story of real-life drama could be problematic when translating it to a cinematic endeavor. For me personally, I believe in Jeremy Camp’s story / message, but not so much the feature.

=============================================================

[samanthalendo]

Why I Almost Went To UT Austin; And Why I Didn’t

(As a preface: I will be speaking mainly in vague details about my personal life and the college I ended up choosing. This is for my own privacy and comfort. In addition, I am not bashing the UT system or anyone who choose to go there; I have loved ones going there very soon, and I have a lot admiration for the school and all the opportunities it can afford someone. However, these are the reasons I will not be attending and some reasons any school might miss out on students they might have otherwise garnered. As well, all photos are mine unless otherwise stated. Enjoy!)

Let me set the scene.

Choosing a college is hard. It’s freakin hard. It’s even more difficult in the middle of a global pandemic. You can’t actually go anywhere, can’t take tours or go to fairs or get a feel for the city you want to call home. I struggled a lot with really connecting to any of the schools I was interested in. Lots of apathy towards the whole process. Despite all this, I had one school I had been interested in since the end of sophomore year, and I thought that was the only place I wanted to go. 

The University of Texas at Austin appealed to me for a few different reasons. In no particular order:

It was close to family.

I have tons, and I mean tons of family in Texas. This would have put me significantly closer to them and meant I had a support system when going to college. Making sure I would have a nice warm dinner and bath to escape to on crappy days seems pretty nice during global pandemics! Notably, however, it was not close to my immediate family. 

It was in a big city. 

Looking back I can laugh at myself and the idea I had for my college experience. At the time I was much more focused on the social and Instagramable side of the school I chose. Any time my parents suggested a school, the first thing I did was look for photos of it. If it didn’t have the feel I was looking for (young, new, hip, growing) I seldom looked further. 

Austin was exactly what I was looking for. A city with a 32.4% growth rate in the last decade (1), it screamed new and exciting. I wanted to be apart of that vibe during college, especially when I thought my boyfriend and I would be going to the same place (we are still happily together and just going to different schools, btw). Anything less didn’t seem worth it or fun enough. 

It’s a high ranking journalism school. 

Rankings are subjective so it absolutely depends on where you look, but UT Austin consistently ranks within the top ten journalism schools in the nation, which is incredible. I’ve wanted to study journalism since about sophomore year and I was so excited that on top of the aforementioned attributes, this would be a reputable place to study and get a degree from. Truth be told, I didn’t do nearly any research into the actual programs, opportunities, or benefits UTA offered, #foreshadowing.

UTA was the first school I applied to, and as such it established my expectations for how applying to a big name school would work. Let me just say it, the application process sucked. I ended up writing two full-length essays, only one of which I used and extensively edited, and at least five different short answer paragraphs. I believe I also had to submit a resume when I applied for the Journalism Honors program, though that was additional. It was intense, and quite honestly didn’t seem worth it. Up until this point I was pretty much riding the wave of, “Yeah, UT Austin, that’s a school people will respond positively to when they ask where I’m going.” As aforementioned, I hadn’t done any in-depth research into what programs UT had to offer me, but from what little looking I had done, nothing was jumping out at me. With nothing spectacular being shown to me on a silver platter, enticing me to #golonghorns, the arduous application process felt taxing and stressful. 

(A little side note on writing college essays: do not force yourself to write about something that doesn’t feel genuine to you. I don’t care if you think you have something that they’re bound to notice or admire; if you’re not passionate about it, you won’t get anywhere. As mentioned, I wrote two different essays when applying to UT. In my first essay, I wrote about leadership experiences in high school and how they shaped me. Important? Yes. Influential for me? Absolutely. But nothing I’m ready to rave about to anyone who walks through the door. That essay felt fake and artificial. I knew I didn’t like it or want it to represent me. So, I sat down and started writing about a situation that happened over the summer at my high school, one that really ground my gears. I couldn’t stop talking about how upset I was. I wrote all about the experience and how it made me want to be a better journalist and to always help to portray the truth. If anyone would like to know more about that story, let me know. The point is, I was passionate about the topic and it made it much easier to write believably. I didn’t just need this piece to represent me, I wanted it to represent me. I wanted the application readers to understand my frustration and feel all the emotions I felt in those moments. Pick something you feel that way about.)

I’m not going to BS and say that the application process will be fun if the school you’re applying to is the right one for you. All I’m saying is it should feel worth it, like all this hard work and effort is really going to culminate into your dream school. I definitely didn’t feel that with UTA, which was one of my first red flags. I felt very disconnected from the school, like I was just another fish in the pond of out of state applicants, hoping they’d like my bright colors over the next. 

A little background: I am, for the purposes of Texas schools, an out-of-state applicant. I don’t have residency in TX and I didn’t go to a public high school in TX, and this contributes heavily to UTA admissions. I’ll link a great article going further in-depth on the admissions numbers and percentages, but due to the advantages granted to TX resident applicants, approximately only 9% of UTA students are out of state (2). That number is so low because TX students in the top 6% of their graduating class, no matter their test scores, are automatically accepted. This means that on top of great grades, out-of-state applicants for UTA have ACT scores that are between 3-5 points higher and SAT scores that are about 150 points higher than their average TX counterpart. 

If you aren’t stressed out just reading that, teach me your ways because I was sure was.

This was sort of where the perceived animosity started between myself and UTA. I constantly checked my email and mailbox, hoping to get a letter or promotional email or something to indicate they were interested in me as a student. Seldom did they ever come. I got hundreds of emails from other schools and received nearly as much snail mail, but hardly ever from UT, even after I asked to receive their newsletters and an informational packet (which never came, BTW). 

I quickly came to realize that all of this was likely due to the fact that I was so far away, out of the UT sphere of control or influence. Most of the emails I received were from schools in my neighboring states or in my state, closer with a higher likelihood of recruiting me. A school in TX, where I did not study or hold residency, would not seek me out.

Here’s my issue. They didn’t have to seek me out. That’s fine, whatever, makes sense. But I sought them out. I signed up for everything. I filled out their long application, sent it in early. I tried to tour the school in the throws of COVID, having to settle for a self-paced walk about an empty campus to satisfy my need to know more about this school, to learn more about what it could offer me. None of my efforts proved fruitful, and it didn’t feel like the school really wanted me there. I wondered whether this was really where I wanted to be. 

By mid-November, while I wouldn’t have called myself discouraged, I would definitely have identified with the word antsy. When I sent in my application in September, they notified me that I would get my answer sometime in January or February. I can’t even explain how far away that felt. Especially being out of state, I wanted to know their decision as quickly as possible. The wait felt like an eternity.

My dad has always stressed the importance of not putting all your eggs in one basket. While I had shot my shot with UT and was waiting for the scoreboard to change, he was still exploring other options I had in the world of journalism schools. Without me knowing or really agreeing, he scheduled a tour with a school about two hours away from where we lived. It would be on a Saturday, just the two of us, and we’d make a day trip out of it. Honestly, I was more excited for the trip than the school itself. It had always been one I had turned my nose up at; to be fair, I did that with almost any school that wasn’t UT. 

We were about five minutes late to the opening presentation at the school. Quickly shuffling into the only seats we saw, some in the very front row of the socially distanced conference hall, we settled in for a lot of new information  coming our way. Though he had planned it, my dad didn’t know that much about the school either. We were both skeptical, a bit frazzled, and tired from having woken up around five o’clock that morning.

But with every slide, every question, every time the presenter opened her mouth, we were drawn further in.

It wasn’t just the feel of the school, or the location, or the looks. The facts didn’t lie. I won’t share too many so as to keep at least some privacy, but to say this school was my diamond in the rough wouldn’t be too much of an overstatement. Despite that, throughout the day and our two guided tours, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, keeping me from getting too excited about this new school. I couldn’t help but think about UT and all of the emotional commitment I had already made to it. How excited my family was that I was hoping to go there, how happy my grandmother was that I would be closer to her. I thought of the teachers I had complained to about the long essays, the people who had edited those essays for me. I thought about the burnt orange hoodie sitting in my closet, towards the front due to how often I wore it. 

The new school won over both my heart and my head. While I really felt at home there, I also would have to have been dead to overlook all of the opportunities it could afford me. I was close to my immediate family and the town I had gone to high school in. I could come home often, visit family and friends more frequently than if I moved states away. Everything seemed right.

In between our tours, due to the nagging I was feeling, I tried to schedule a tour with UTA, to at least give it a fighting chance. I figured, had I not had an in-person tour of this new school, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Maybe a real tour would make me fall in love with UT again. However, when I tried to schedule one, all of the tours for the rest of the semester were completely booked, and the calendar wasn’t yet available for the spring semester. I immediately called to find out more, only to be told that they weren’t sure the state of in-person tours upon return to campus after holidays due to COVID. Looking back, I know it was a sign. UT had, for all intents and purposes, closed its doors on me. It was time I accepted the willing arms of the school I gazed upon with wonder, truly in limbo as to what might happen next. 

By the end of December, I was admitted and had committed to the new school. I wouldn’t find out about UT for another month, but honestly, I didn’t really need to. This new school had everything I could ever want, and UT had a fair amount of drawbacks. I didn’t and still don’t feel any remorse for committing without having known UT’s decision on me. 

I received an email January 29th, over a month after having committed to the new school, that I needed to check my UT MyStatus page. I never really worried about getting in due to my test scores and grades, but I felt a level of anger towards the school that I thought I had gotten over, and finding out I had gotten in after all would bring up new emotions. I checked the page, and sure enough I had been admitted to the University of Texas at Austin’s class of 2025. I wasn’t elated or jumping up and down with joy or breaking down happy crying in my parent’s arms. I was pretty stoic, thinking about all that could have been had I felt any more like UT really wanted me. 

(3)

All things happen for a reason. Because I didn’t feel much reciprocation in my love for UT, I instead found the school of my dreams, one that I know I’ll be much happier at. I wouldn’t change any of my decisions, except maybe stressing over the essays as much as I did. 

My final thoughts would have to be this: I don’t blame the UT system for not focusing as much on its out-of-state applicants. I mean, I do, but I understand that it’s often simply not in their best interest. I do think that they should have reached out, sent more newsletters, have actually sent me the information packet I requested, anything to make me feel more connected with this place I was dying to call home. While I know they aren’t very focused on bringing in students from other states, I think they should be, especially for those that are going the extra mile to reach out to them. 

The right school will have a lot of different things for every different person. For me, that meant being close to my immediate family, knowing I would have all of the opportunities I wanted, being financially secure, and feeling like the school wanted me, not just the other way around. UT didn’t provide me all of that. Finding the school that will is the most important thing. Your needs and wants may be different, but don’t toss all of your eggs in one basket. Don’t be afraid to change your mind and always keep looking for something better. For all you know, it may be out there.

(Thank you so much for reading! Links are below. This is just meant to be an opinion piece and is the first thing I’ve written for myself in a very long time. I hope you learned something and that this may be helpful on your college journey! Au revoir!)

1. https://www.austinchamber.com/economic-development/austin-profile/population/overview

2. https://magoosh.com/hs/college-admissions/ut-austin-admissions-the-sat-act-scores-and-gpa-you-need-to-get-in/ 

3. https://news.utexas.edu/2020/09/22/four-year-graduation-rate-tops-70-as-ut-austin-admits-one-of-its-largest-first-year-classes/ 

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Over the first four days of release, which was a long weekend in Japan thanks to Mountain Day being moved for the Tokyo Olympics Closing Ceremony, World Heroes Mission made more than 940 million yen (US$8.52 million) on 720,000 tickets sold. Heroes: Rising, over its entire box office run, made 1.79 billion yen (US$15.1 million), less than double what World Heroes Mission made in one weekend.

On its first three-day weekend, Heroes: Rising earned 422 million yen (US$3.86 million), and surpassed the lifetime gross of the first film, Two Heroes, in its 9th weekend. It's likely that the third film will be highest grossing for the franchise by the time its run ends.

On the first day of the film's release, World Heroes Mission earned 310 Million Yen (US$2.8 million) at the Japanese box office, nearly the same as Heroes: Rising's first weekend, signalling just how popular the film would be with audiences. Where to Watch My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Online Free? [SUB-ENGLISH] My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Full Movie Watch online free HQ [USA eng subs ]] My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021)! (2021) Full Movie Watch #Running Scared (2021) online free 123 Movies Online !! My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) | Watch My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Online (2021) Full Movie Free HD|Watch My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Online (2021) Full Movies Free HD !! My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) with English Subtitles ready for download, My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021), High Quality.

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✌ THE STORY ✌ Its and Jeremy Camp (K.J. Apa) is a and aspiring musician who like only to honor his God through the energy of music. Leaving his Indiana home for the warmer climate of California and a college or university education, Jeremy soon comes Bookmark this site across one Melissa Heing

(Britt Robertson), a fellow university student that he takes notices in the audience at an area concert. Bookmark this site Falling for cupid’s arrow immediately, he introduces himself to her and quickly discovers that she is drawn to him too. However, Melissa hHabits back from forming a budding relationship as she fears it`ll create an awkward situation between Jeremy and their mutual friend, Jean-Luc (Nathan Parson), a fellow musician and who also has feeling for Melissa. Still, Jeremy is relentless in his quest for her until they eventually end up in a loving dating relationship. However, their youthful courtship Bookmark this sitewith the other person comes to a halt when life-threating news of Melissa having cancer takes center stage. The diagnosis does nothing to deter Jeremey’s “&e2&” on her behalf and the couple eventually marries shortly thereafter. Howsoever, they soon find themselves walking an excellent line between a life together and suffering by her Bookmark this siteillness; with Jeremy questioning his faith in music, himself, and with God himself.

✌ STREAMING MEDIA ✌ Streaming media is multimedia that is constantly received by and presented to an end-user while being delivered by a provider. The verb to stream refers to the procedure of delivering or obtaining media this way.[clarification needed] Streaming identifies the delivery approach to the medium, rather than the medium itself. Distinguishing delivery method from the media distributed applies especially to telecommunications networks, as almost all of the delivery systems are either inherently streaming (e.g. radio, television, streaming apps) or inherently non-streaming (e.g. books, video cassettes, audio tracks CDs). There are challenges with streaming content on the web. For instance, users whose Internet connection lacks sufficient bandwidth may experience stops, lags, or slow buffering of this content. And users lacking compatible hardware or software systems may be unable to stream certain content. Streaming is an alternative to file downloading, an activity in which the end-user obtains the entire file for the content before watching or listening to it. Through streaming, an end-user may use their media player to get started on playing digital video or digital sound content before the complete file has been transmitted. The term “streaming media” can connect with media other than video and audio, such as for example live closed captioning, ticker tape, and real-time text, which are considered “streaming text”. This brings me around to discussing us, a film release of the Christian religio us faith-based . As almost customary, Hollywood usually generates two (maybe three) films of this variety movies within their yearly theatrical release lineup, with the releases usually being around spring us and / or fall Habitfully. I didn’t hear much when this movie was initially aounced (probably got buried underneath all of the popular movies news on the newsfeed). My first actual glimpse of the movie was when the film’s movie trailer premiered, which looked somewhat interesting if you ask me. Yes, it looked the movie was goa be the typical “faith-based” vibe, but it was going to be directed by the Erwin Brothers, who directed I COULD Only Imagine (a film that I did so like). Plus, the trailer for I Still Believe premiered for quite some us, so I continued seeing it most of us when I visited my local cinema. You can sort of say that it was a bit “engrained in my brain”. Thus, I was a lttle bit keen on seeing it. Fortunately, I was able to see it before the COVID-9 outbreak closed the movie theaters down (saw it during its opening night), but, because of work scheduling, I haven’t had the us to do my review for it…. as yet. And what did I think of it? Well, it was pretty “meh”. While its heart is certainly in the proper place and quite sincere, us is a little too preachy and unbalanced within its narrative execution and character developments. The religious message is plainly there, but takes way too many detours and not focusing on certain aspects that weigh the feature’s presentation.

✌ TELEVISION SHOW AND HISTORY ✌ A tv set show (often simply Television show) is any content prBookmark this siteoduced for broadcast via over-the-air, satellite, cable, or internet and typically viewed on a television set set, excluding breaking news, advertisements, or trailers that are usually placed between shows. Tv shows are most often scheduled well ahead of The War with Grandpa and appearance on electronic guides or other TV listings. A television show may also be called a tv set program (British EnBookmark this siteglish: programme), especially if it lacks a narrative structure. A tv set Movies is The War with Grandpaually released in episodes that follow a narrative, and so are The War with Grandpaually split into seasons (The War with Grandpa and Canada) or Movies (UK) — yearly or semiaual sets of new episodes. A show with a restricted number of episodes could be called a miniMBookmark this siteovies, serial, or limited Movies. A one-The War with Grandpa show may be called a “special”. A television film (“made-for-TV movie” or “televisioBookmark this siten movie”) is a film that is initially broadcast on television set rather than released in theaters or direct-to-video. Television shows may very well be Bookmark this sitehey are broadcast in real The War with Grandpa (live), be recorded on home video or an electronic video recorder for later viewing, or be looked at on demand via a set-top box or streameBookmark this sited on the internet. The first television set shows were experimental, sporadic broadcasts viewable only within an extremely short range from the broadcast tower starting in the. Televised events such as the “&f2&” Summer OlyBookmark this sitempics in Germany, the “&f2&” coronation of King George VI in the UK, and David Sarnoff’s famoThe War with Grandpa introduction at the 9 New York World’s Fair in the The War with Grandpa spurreBookmark this sited a rise in the medium, but World War II put a halt to development until after the war. The “&f2&” World Movies inspired many Americans to buy their first tv set and in “&f2&”, the favorite radio show Texaco Star Theater made the move and became the first weekly televised variety show, earning host Milton Berle the name “Mr Television” and demonstrating that the medium was a well balanced, modern form of entertainment which could attract advertisers. The firsBookmBookmark this siteark this sitet national live tv broadcast in the The War with Grandpa took place on September 1, “&f2&” when President Harry Truman’s speech at the Japanese Peace Treaty Conference in SAN FRAKung Fu CO BAY AREA was transmitted over AT&T’s transcontinental cable and microwave radio relay system to broadcast stations in local markets.

✌ FINAL THOUGHTS ✌ The power of faith, “&e2&”, and affinity for take center stage in Jeremy Camp’s life story in the movie I Still Believe. Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) examine the life span and The War with Grandpas of Jeremy Camp’s life story; pin-pointing his early life along with his relationship Melissa Heing because they battle hardships and their enduring “&e2&” for one another through difficult. While the movie’s intent and thematic message of a person’s faith through troublen is indeed palpable plus the likeable mThe War with Grandpaical performances, the film certainly strules to look for a cinematic footing in its execution, including a sluish pace, fragmented pieces, predicable plot beats, too preachy / cheesy dialogue moments, over utilized religion overtones, and mismanagement of many of its secondary /supporting characters. If you ask me, this movie was somewhere between okay and “meh”. It had been definitely a Christian faith-based movie endeavor Bookmark this web site (from begin to finish) and definitely had its moments, nonetheless it failed to resonate with me; struling to locate a proper balance in its undertaking. Personally, regardless of the story, it could’ve been better. My recommendation for this movie is an “iffy choice” at best as some should (nothing wrong with that), while others will not and dismiss it altogether. Whatever your stance on religion faith-based flicks, stands as more of a cautionary tale of sorts; demonstrating how a poignant and heartfelt story of real-life drama could be problematic when translating it to a cinematic endeavor. For me personally, I believe in Jeremy Camp’s story / message, but not so much the feature.

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My Hero Academia THE MOVIE: World Heroes Mission is off to a plus ultra start at Japanese theaters. While most of the metropolitan areas of Japan are currently in a State of Emergency for record COVID-19 cases, thanks to the Delta strain, World Heroes Mission managed to increase its box office takings 200.2% over the previous film in the franchise My Hero Academia THE MOVIE Heroes: Rising.

Over the first four days of release, which was a long weekend in Japan thanks to Mountain Day being moved for the Tokyo Olympics Closing Ceremony, World Heroes Mission made more than 940 million yen (US$8.52 million) on 720,000 tickets sold. Heroes: Rising, over its entire box office run, made 1.79 billion yen (US$15.1 million), less than double what World Heroes Mission made in one weekend.

On its first three-day weekend, Heroes: Rising earned 422 million yen (US$3.86 million), and surpassed the lifetime gross of the first film, Two Heroes, in its 9th weekend. It's likely that the third film will be highest grossing for the franchise by the time its run ends.

On the first day of the film's release, World Heroes Mission earned 310 Million Yen (US$2.8 million) at the Japanese box office, nearly the same as Heroes: Rising's first weekend, signalling just how popular the film would be with audiences. Where to Watch My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Online Free? [SUB-ENGLISH] My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Full Movie Watch online free HQ [USA eng subs ]] My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021)! (2021) Full Movie Watch #Running Scared (2021) online free 123 Movies Online !! My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) | Watch My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Online (2021) Full Movie Free HD|Watch My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) Online (2021) Full Movies Free HD !! My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021) with English Subtitles ready for download, My Hero Academia: World Heroes’ Mission (2021), High Quality.

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⭐A Target Package is short for Target Package of Information. It is a more specialized case of Intel Package of Information or Intel Package.

✌ THE STORY ✌ Its and Jeremy Camp (K.J. Apa) is a and aspiring musician who like only to honor his God through the energy of music. Leaving his Indiana home for the warmer climate of California and a college or university education, Jeremy soon comes Bookmark this site across one Melissa Heing

(Britt Robertson), a fellow university student that he takes notices in the audience at an area concert. Bookmark this site Falling for cupid’s arrow immediately, he introduces himself to her and quickly discovers that she is drawn to him too. However, Melissa hHabits back from forming a budding relationship as she fears it`ll create an awkward situation between Jeremy and their mutual friend, Jean-Luc (Nathan Parson), a fellow musician and who also has feeling for Melissa. Still, Jeremy is relentless in his quest for her until they eventually end up in a loving dating relationship. However, their youthful courtship Bookmark this sitewith the other person comes to a halt when life-threating news of Melissa having cancer takes center stage. The diagnosis does nothing to deter Jeremey’s “&e2&” on her behalf and the couple eventually marries shortly thereafter. Howsoever, they soon find themselves walking an excellent line between a life together and suffering by her Bookmark this siteillness; with Jeremy questioning his faith in music, himself, and with God himself.

✌ STREAMING MEDIA ✌ Streaming media is multimedia that is constantly received by and presented to an end-user while being delivered by a provider. The verb to stream refers to the procedure of delivering or obtaining media this way.[clarification needed] Streaming identifies the delivery approach to the medium, rather than the medium itself. Distinguishing delivery method from the media distributed applies especially to telecommunications networks, as almost all of the delivery systems are either inherently streaming (e.g. radio, television, streaming apps) or inherently non-streaming (e.g. books, video cassettes, audio tracks CDs). There are challenges with streaming content on the web. For instance, users whose Internet connection lacks sufficient bandwidth may experience stops, lags, or slow buffering of this content. And users lacking compatible hardware or software systems may be unable to stream certain content. Streaming is an alternative to file downloading, an activity in which the end-user obtains the entire file for the content before watching or listening to it. Through streaming, an end-user may use their media player to get started on playing digital video or digital sound content before the complete file has been transmitted. The term “streaming media” can connect with media other than video and audio, such as for example live closed captioning, ticker tape, and real-time text, which are considered “streaming text”. This brings me around to discussing us, a film release of the Christian religio us faith-based . As almost customary, Hollywood usually generates two (maybe three) films of this variety movies within their yearly theatrical release lineup, with the releases usually being around spring us and / or fall Habitfully. I didn’t hear much when this movie was initially aounced (probably got buried underneath all of the popular movies news on the newsfeed). My first actual glimpse of the movie was when the film’s movie trailer premiered, which looked somewhat interesting if you ask me. Yes, it looked the movie was goa be the typical “faith-based” vibe, but it was going to be directed by the Erwin Brothers, who directed I COULD Only Imagine (a film that I did so like). Plus, the trailer for I Still Believe premiered for quite some us, so I continued seeing it most of us when I visited my local cinema. You can sort of say that it was a bit “engrained in my brain”. Thus, I was a lttle bit keen on seeing it. Fortunately, I was able to see it before the COVID-9 outbreak closed the movie theaters down (saw it during its opening night), but, because of work scheduling, I haven’t had the us to do my review for it…. as yet. And what did I think of it? Well, it was pretty “meh”. While its heart is certainly in the proper place and quite sincere, us is a little too preachy and unbalanced within its narrative execution and character developments. The religious message is plainly there, but takes way too many detours and not focusing on certain aspects that weigh the feature’s presentation.

✌ TELEVISION SHOW AND HISTORY ✌ A tv set show (often simply Television show) is any content prBookmark this siteoduced for broadcast via over-the-air, satellite, cable, or internet and typically viewed on a television set set, excluding breaking news, advertisements, or trailers that are usually placed between shows. Tv shows are most often scheduled well ahead of The War with Grandpa and appearance on electronic guides or other TV listings. A television show may also be called a tv set program (British EnBookmark this siteglish: programme), especially if it lacks a narrative structure. A tv set Movies is The War with Grandpaually released in episodes that follow a narrative, and so are The War with Grandpaually split into seasons (The War with Grandpa and Canada) or Movies (UK) — yearly or semiaual sets of new episodes. A show with a restricted number of episodes could be called a miniMBookmark this siteovies, serial, or limited Movies. A one-The War with Grandpa show may be called a “special”. A television film (“made-for-TV movie” or “televisioBookmark this siten movie”) is a film that is initially broadcast on television set rather than released in theaters or direct-to-video. Television shows may very well be Bookmark this sitehey are broadcast in real The War with Grandpa (live), be recorded on home video or an electronic video recorder for later viewing, or be looked at on demand via a set-top box or streameBookmark this sited on the internet. The first television set shows were experimental, sporadic broadcasts viewable only within an extremely short range from the broadcast tower starting in the. Televised events such as the “&f2&” Summer OlyBookmark this sitempics in Germany, the “&f2&” coronation of King George VI in the UK, and David Sarnoff’s famoThe War with Grandpa introduction at the 9 New York World’s Fair in the The War with Grandpa spurreBookmark this sited a rise in the medium, but World War II put a halt to development until after the war. The “&f2&” World Movies inspired many Americans to buy their first tv set and in “&f2&”, the favorite radio show Texaco Star Theater made the move and became the first weekly televised variety show, earning host Milton Berle the name “Mr Television” and demonstrating that the medium was a well balanced, modern form of entertainment which could attract advertisers. The firsBookmBookmark this siteark this sitet national live tv broadcast in the The War with Grandpa took place on September 1, “&f2&” when President Harry Truman’s speech at the Japanese Peace Treaty Conference in SAN FRAKung Fu CO BAY AREA was transmitted over AT&T’s transcontinental cable and microwave radio relay system to broadcast stations in local markets.

✌ FINAL THOUGHTS ✌ The power of faith, “&e2&”, and affinity for take center stage in Jeremy Camp’s life story in the movie I Still Believe. Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) examine the life span and The War with Grandpas of Jeremy Camp’s life story; pin-pointing his early life along with his relationship Melissa Heing because they battle hardships and their enduring “&e2&” for one another through difficult. While the movie’s intent and thematic message of a person’s faith through troublen is indeed palpable plus the likeable mThe War with Grandpaical performances, the film certainly strules to look for a cinematic footing in its execution, including a sluish pace, fragmented pieces, predicable plot beats, too preachy / cheesy dialogue moments, over utilized religion overtones, and mismanagement of many of its secondary /supporting characters. If you ask me, this movie was somewhere between okay and “meh”. It had been definitely a Christian faith-based movie endeavor Bookmark this web site (from begin to finish) and definitely had its moments, nonetheless it failed to resonate with me; struling to locate a proper balance in its undertaking. Personally, regardless of the story, it could’ve been better. My recommendation for this movie is an “iffy choice” at best as some should (nothing wrong with that), while others will not and dismiss it altogether. Whatever your stance on religion faith-based flicks, stands as more of a cautionary tale of sorts; demonstrating how a poignant and heartfelt story of real-life drama could be problematic when translating it to a cinematic endeavor. For me personally, I believe in Jeremy Camp’s story / message, but not so much the feature.

[humansofhds]

The Rev. Judith Hoehler, BD ’58

“I had not intended to go on into a ministry. I really had intended to take a year out and go back into foreign service, but after I had been there for about six months studying, I knew that this was the place where I wanted to be. I felt my calling was in theology and ministry.”

Judy Hoehler is one the first seven women to enroll and receive a BD degree, which would later become the MDiv degree. She is also among the first denominational counselors at HDS, representing Unitarian Universalism.

A Time of Rejuvenation

Judy’s path to HDS began in South America. 

She explains, “I had been a Spanish major in college and had received a fellowship to do graduate work in Latin American studies at the University of Chile in Santiago. The more that I studied down there, the more I realized that the questions I was asking about how I wanted to spend the rest of my life were theological questions. And so, I decided to take a year off, since I was slated to go into foreign service, and go to divinity school, where I could address some of these issues.” 

In the spring of 1955, a friend encouraged Judy to apply to Harvard Divinity School. It was opening its doors to women for the first time that fall, and what was more, Paul Tillich was coming to HDS.

“It was going through a rejuvenation,” Judy explains, “and I thought it would be a very exciting place to study. I lived in Massachusetts, and my brother had gone to Harvard, and so, when I got home, I went and applied and was accepted as one of the seven first women.”

We Were Pathbreakers

When she arrived, Harvard had no dormitory space for women. Dean Douglas Horton and Mrs. Mildred McAfee Horton presented a solution. The Harvard Press building was undergoing renovations to become Jewett House, a home on Francis Avenue for the Dean, so the School had rented another house on Francis Avenue from the ambassador to India, Professor Galbraith, for the new dean and his wife.

Judy recalls, “It was a large house, and the Hortons very graciously opened two of the rooms to two of the woman students, and that was for Letty and for me.”

Shortly into the school year, Mrs. Horton held a tea for the seven women students at her home. Mrs. Horton was the former president of Wellesley and the founder the WAVES, the women's navy during the second world war, at President Franklin Roosevelt’s request.

“She had a tea for us because she thought we would benefit from hearing her experiences in breaking into an all-male bastion. It was a wonderful afternoon. All seven of us saw ourselves as breaking new ground.”

One example Judy recalls is the first day of classes, which was also the first day that morning prayers in Memorial Church’s Appleton Chapel were open to women.

“Up until that time, Radcliffe College students had been able to come to morning prayers, but they would have to sit in the main sanctuary of Memorial Hall and listen to the prayers through the choir screen. So Letty and I got up early. We were determined to be the first women to attend morning prayers, and we were the first women that day to get there. We later learned that George Buttrick, who was the university preacher that had come the spring before, had insisted that his wife be allowed to come to morning prayers, so in fact, she was the first woman. But Letty and I certainly saw ourselves as pathbreakers.”

Accepted Inside, Rejected Outside

When classes began, unlike Letty who had been a Bible major at Wellesley, everything was new to Judy.

“Every course opened up my mind to whole worlds that I had not been aware were there. I really was blessed with some superb lecturers, such as Tillich. Another plus that should not go unmentioned was the fact there were so many denominations, and eventually, world religions represented there. That was something that really did enrich education at Harvard.”

Judy and Letty fell in with a group of graduate students very early.

“They were all strongly in favor of women's education at the Divinity School. The faculty seemed very supportive. They seemed to not make a distinction, faculty such as Conrad Wright, George Williams, James Luther Adams, Paul Tillich, Richard Niebuhr, and Krister Stendhal. I felt very little prejudice at that time. If there was any, I was not aware of it. But Letty was. She spoke about it to me. Even after, I only noticed it in little subtle ways. For example, if we were in some discussion around a table and I said something, then later what I had said was brought up, it would be attributed to one of the male students. Other than that, I did not feel it.”

Both Letty and Judy did denominational work and met with much more prejudice in seeking ordination than either had at the School.

“In the 1950s there was a perception that the proper role for women in the church was in religious education or pastoral work rather than engaging in intellectual scholarship, theology, or official ordination.”

Even so, Judy applied for ordination in the American Unitarian Association, a very liberal denomination that had ordained quite a few women at the turn of the century. By the time Judy applied though, that had changed. There were only one or two women ordained, older women whom Judy knew.

“In my interview, I was told that I had a fine record, and I would do a good job, but unfortunately, since it was a congregationally run denomination, the congregations probably were not yet ready for women in leadership positions.”

Afterward, Judy compared interview notes with her classmate William Jones, who applied at the same time.

“It was interesting because we were both told the same thing, only his reason being that he was African American, and mine being a woman. William went on to become a professor of theology, and, of course, I went on to become a pastor, although it took a little while. It was not courage so much as a real desire to do ministry that allowed me to move forward. It was a passion to show churches that women could be pastors.”

Women Can Do the Work

There were two phases in the admission of women to Harvard Divinity School. The first was granting women access to the institution. The second was reckoning with the implications of women entering the conversation in terms of texts, doctrines, practices, and church history.

Judy explains, “The second stage happened after we left because the women's movement was just getting underway when we were students there. Our primary focus was on proving that women could do the work and women could, in fact, become pastors and theologians. I think we did succeed because Letty and I were the only two students to graduate with honors out of the 25 to 30 graduating students three years later in ‘58.”

Judy and Letty were also the only two of the first seven women to complete the three-year BD/MDiv program.

“It was an exciting time, particularly the textual criticism that was emerging called feminist works,” Judy recalls.

By the mid-1980s people like Clarissa Atkinson, Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, Phyllis Trible, and Letty Russell were all producing work looking at scripture, religious history, and theology from a female perspective.

“They were simply mining history from a different point of view. By the time I returned to Harvard in 1985 as an instructor in preaching and denominational counselor for Unitarian Universalism, more than half of the students were women. That was quite a remarkable change.

“I think the School should look back on the involvement of women, beginning in 1955, with pride, certainly. But with humble pride. It was a good thing that they opened admission to women, but seven women, or nine if you count two who were part time, in our entering class of over 120 was not a very big thing. HDS was not the first of the professional schools to do this at Harvard. However, once HDS decided to do it, they did it well.”

A 60-Year Co-Ministry

Attending HDS changed Judy’s life in many ways.

“I had not intended to go on into a ministry. I really had intended to take a year out and go back into foreign service, but after I had been there for about six months studying, I knew that this was the place where I wanted to be. I felt my calling was in theology and ministry.”

One moment that helped shape Judy’s future life and ministry was when she met Harry Hoehler, a Unitarian looking to enter the ministry. Harry and Judy eventually married, and Judy became a Unitarian bent on ministry as well.

“I was pregnant when I graduated, or very soon after. We had three children relatively close together, and so, I decided to put off ordination until the children were a little bit older. But I was doing a lot of work. In the early ‘60s, the women's movement was beginning to blossom, and I was doing a lot of lecturing in churches. Around ’65, I was on the first denominational committee that went around to Unitarian churches looking for new ministers and give them a training session. It was required before they could get names from the department of the ministry. It was about a day-long workshop on being open to calling women as pastors because by then, we were getting a number of very talented women into the Unitarian ministry as well as ministry in general.”

Judy identifies her “solid grounding in intellectual, academic theological and Biblical work” as one of the most important things she took away from HDS.

“It made writing sermons more central to my ministry because I began to see that the role of the pastor really is to interpret the scriptures for the contemporary scene, how one's faith was to be acted in the present time. That's certainly what governed all the lectures I did on women, women in society, and women in the church.”

She recalls, “As students, Letty and I used to complain, as did other classmates, about the fact that we really got your training by doing student work in little churches around the state. Although there were pastoral theology classes and so forth and the School was supposed to train you for the ministry, we felt there was not much training for it.

“I have to say, though, that through my years in the ministry, what has stood in good stead for me has been the very rigorous grounding that the faculty required of us in our courses in theology, church history, New Testament, Old Testament. That is something that stays with you. It whets your appetite so you continue studying, and working, and joining groups like the Boston Ministers Association, where you read papers to one another.

“I think that's really my greatest gratitude to the Divinity School. And the fact that the Divinity School was so open to the many branches of Christendom and ultimately of world religions. It led Harry and me to both be involved in interdenominational, interreligious work, through our whole ministry. It’s been 60 years that Harry and I have been in co-ministry, and it has been a very rich life, I must say.”

Edited by Natalie Campbell; original interview by Rich Higgins / Photos: Harvard Divinity Bulletin and Andover-Harvard Theological Library

[psychologyofsex]

The True Story of How I Became a Sex Educator and Researcher

Our professional biographies tend to serve as a “highlight reel”—they only say the great things we’ve accomplished and don’t reveal the struggles, challenges, and uncertainties that went into building a career. To lift back the curtain on this, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) recently asked a number of scholars to submit their official bios along with their “unofficial bios” that reveal an extremely different version of the story with more twists and turns.

You can read some of the examples here. Although I didn’t participate in it, I thought it would be fun to do something similar on the blog. So here goes—I’ll start with my official bio, followed by the real, behind-the-scenes story.  

Official Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller 

Dr. Justin Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 50 academic works to date, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine. 

Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011. It receives millions of page views per year and is rated among the top sex blogs on the internet. In 2019, he launched the Sex and Psychology Podcast. It ranks among the top sexuality podcasts in several countries and has been named one of “11 sex podcasts that will help you get better in bed” by Men’s Health. 

Dr. Lehmiller has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, CNN, The Atlantic, The Globe and Mail, and The Sunday Times. He has been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve. Dr. Lehmiller has appeared on the Netflix series Sex, Explained, he has been on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel, and he has been a guest on Dr. Phil. Dr. Lehmiller has also appeared on numerous podcasts and radio shows, including the Savage Lovecast, the BBC’s Up All Night, and several NPR programs (1A, Radio Times, and Airtalk). 

He is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including The Washington Post, Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, Men’s Health, Politico, and New York Magazine. He has also interviewed several prominent authors, journalists, and psychologists about their work for his blog and podcast, including Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Lisa Ling, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and bestselling authors Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn) and Lisa Taddeo (Three Women). 

Unofficial Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

When Justin’s parents asked him what he wanted to study in college, he said “psychology.” He had taken a couple of psychology courses in high school that he found to be absolutely fascinating; however, his parents discouraged him from this because getting into a PhD program was tough and uncertain and, if that didn’t work out, they didn’t see much potential in a Bachelor’s degree in psychology. They encouraged him to pursue a career in occupational therapy (OT) instead because a family friend said “they needed more men in the field,” and also because his parents saw it as a path to job security with a pretty good paycheck.

He applied to a 5-year combined Bachelor’s/Master’s program in OT at Gannon University and was admitted. Incidentally, he was one of two men in the entire program. He spent a year and a half in it and made straight As in every course, including biochemistry and physics—but he wasn’t happy. He recognized the importance of OT to society, but it wasn’t his passion. After showing his parents that he was taking college seriously and earning good grades, they allowed him to switch his major to psychology.

Upon completing his Bachelor’s degree, he only applied to Master’s programs in psychology because he didn’t think he had the chops to get into a PhD program right away. The inferiority complex was strong in this one, so he didn’t even try. He applied and was accepted to Villanova University’s Master’s program in experimental psychology. He was not competitive enough of a candidate to receive an assistantship initially, although he eventually received one after another student dropped out.  

He really wanted to study social psychology at Villanova, but there was only one social psychologist on staff at the time and several interested students. The only option for him was to beg one of the clinical psychologists to let him do a social psychology study for his Master’s thesis. 

As he began looking for PhD programs to apply to, he met Dr. Chris Agnew at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. Chris was studying romantic relationships and Justin thought that sounded like a fun thing to spend his life doing. Plus, Chris was a super cool guy who seemed like a fantastic mentor. He applied and was admitted to Purdue’s social psychology program, although he was initially waitlisted (and rejected from all but one other program). Justin’s plan was to get his doctorate and become a college professor. Teaching and research sounded like things he could probably do.

Justin was assigned to teach a Health Psychology course at Purdue during his first year. He had never taught a class before and quickly realized that he was very uncomfortable with public speaking. The class was a disaster. Attendance dropped 60-70% within the first couple of weeks. He had no idea what he was doing and dreaded going to class each day—and he received poor evaluations in the end.  

Around the same time, Justin submitted his first academic paper to a journal, it was promptly rejected and came with this review: “This manuscript is fatally flawed and of marginal utility, which is a shame because potentially interesting questions could have been asked given the topic and timing of the research. The tone of this manuscript represents the worst in scientific misconstrual, particularly because the claims are silly, wrong, or not warranted by the data.” Justin clearly sucked at both teaching and research—and if he couldn’t do those things well, how would he ever become a college professor? 

He also started hearing horror stories from advanced students in his program who couldn’t find jobs and were sticking around for 6 or 7 years in the hope of eventually landing a job—any job. All of this led Justin to question what the hell he was doing with his life. Maybe he should have listened to his parents after all? Chris encouraged Justin to stick with it, though, as did his friends and mentors. 

The next year, Justin got assigned to be a teaching assistant for a human sexuality course taught by Dr. Janice Kelly. It changed his life. He had to lead weekly discussion sections with students and answer their sex questions (a subject he knew next to nothing about, having attended Catholic schools most of his life). He read about sex extensively and instantly knew he had found what he really wanted to do with his career. He saw it as something fun and interesting—but also a way that he could make a real difference. He realized how little most people actually know about sex, and how education can correct so many harmful myths and misconceptions. 

An opportunity to teach his own human sexuality class opened up the following year, and he took it. This time around, teaching was different—he was passionate about the subject and the students were, too. He had no problems with attendance. He ended up teaching this course six times before he graduated and eventually received a teaching award for it. He found that he loved being a sex educator. 

He also found a solution to his public speaking anxiety: he started taking a beta-blocker (propranolol) on public speaking days, which removed physiological symptoms of anxiety. This allowed him to feel like himself in front of a crowd and, after just a few months, he no longer needed to take the medication—the anxiety had gone away completely. 

He started conducting his own sex research, too, including a series of studies with Dr. Kelly on friends with benefits. His research skills improved and his studies started getting accepted instead of rejected.   

He eventually landed a job at Colorado State University as an assistant professor, where he stayed for three years and continued his work as a sex educator and researcher. His partner couldn’t get a job in the area and had just taken a job in Boston, so Justin applied for every academic job within two hours of Boston. He was turned down for all of them. As a last-ditch effort, he applied for a teaching position at Harvard but had absolutely no confidence in it. He almost didn’t submit the application, but his partner encouraged him to do so. Justin had applied to Harvard’s PhD program previously and was rejected—if they didn’t want him as a student, why the heck would they want him as a teacher? 

To his great surprise, he got the job at Harvard, where he stayed for three years. However, he had given up his tenure-track job in Colorado for a teaching position in Boston with no job security. So he decided to reinvent himself just in case things didn’t work out. In his spare time, he started a blog, wrote a human sexuality textbook, and became a freelance media writer. Communicating about sex science to the public became his hobby and was going to be his backup career in case the college professor thing didn’t work out. 

Eventually, Justin’s partner wanted to move to Indianapolis for a job opportunity, so they left Boston. But Justin didn’t have a job at first and his backup plan wasn’t yet enough to be a full-time job. He knew the Kinsey Institute was nearby, so he drafted a letter to the director in the hope of establishing a connection, but he never sent it. He had a severe case of imposter syndrome and did not feel accomplished or experienced enough to have anything to do with what he saw as the premier hub for sex research in the world.

Much to his surprise, the associate director of the Institute reached out to him after he moved to Indiana to explore opportunities for working together. It was actually his hobby/backup plan that caught their eye—they were interested in working together to disseminate sex science to the public and were impressed with what he had done with his blog and social media.

Justin affiliated with Kinsey, but also jumped back on the tenure track with a job as the Director of the Social Psychology Program at Ball State University, which fortuitously opened up about 4 months after he moved to Indianapolis. After 3.5 years, he decided to leave full-time academics and do his own thing. His science communication hobby had managed to grow into a full-time job and it was no longer feasible to do that and academics. Plus, he found that the science communication work was really where his passion was. So, the backup plan officially became “the plan.” 

Justin now spends every day finding new ways to help educate and inform the public about the science of sex. He’s still not sure how things ended up this way, but wouldn’t trade his current job for anything. 

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Source: 123RF

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[catalinaroleplay]

Gender & Pronouns: Cis woman, she/her

Date of Birth: April 20th, 1982 (38)

Place of Birth: Catalina Island, California

Neighborhood: Ventura

Length of Residency: Native 

Occupation: Veterinarian and Owner of Livingston Veterinary Clinic

Face Claim: Sophia Bush

BIOGRAPHY

TRIGGERS: Postpartum, Infidelity, Death.

When Jonathan and Sylvie Livingston announced they are expecting their first child, a girl, the shrieks of excitement from the end of the telephone lines deafened the expectant parents as they contacted those near and dear to them. The couple has always spoken about having a big family ─ three minimum, five the maximum. After all, Sylvie grew up with two older brothers, who worked alongside their sister in their family business, Carmichael Roses, which had been started by their great-grandfather in the 1870s. As for Jonathan, a successful Professional Golfer with heaps of PGA titles under his belt, he was the youngest of three: an older brother who passed in his early twenties during his one military tours, and a sister three years older than John, who happens to be the head of cardiothoracic at Catalina Medical Center. It only made sense the couple wanted a larger than life family. It’s all they knew and grew up with. 

On April 20th, after twenty-three hours of gruesome labor, the protruding stomach the couple had spoken to over the nine months was finally able to hold their first child, Georgina Scarlett Livingston. Their daughter, something Jonathan and Sylvie couldn’t stop repeating it until both of their mouths grew to despise the concept of them talking, was an image of perfection. Georgina cried every time she was hungry or when it was sleep time. Otherwise, the eldest Livingston child had never been a hassle to the parents. It almost felt too perfect. After all, both of them have witnessed their close friends and how their kids grew up to be, so in a way, they were expecting a nightmare and nights of endless sleep. It was the opposite. 

As Georgina grew up, her life was everything but ordinary. It was extraordinary from all of the places she could travel due to her parent’s work and face she could meet because of the trips. The majority of the people she came across were all people of high-power. Celebrities, athletes, and designers that both of her parents knew and treated as family, as the bodies always felt at home with the Livingstons in their Catalina manor. Considering who both of her parents happen to be, they have been in the limelight and remained humble to the core, and planned on teaching their children the same lessons. So, after a family dinner and a curious Georgina stared groggily at Donna Karan, who happens to be her godmother, Jonathan began to tell his eldest daughter about the life that she was born into ─ the money. 

She knew that her parents would purchase items without remorse or panic about it, affecting their bank account, but the girl never took their money for granted. She knows they worked hard for their fortune as well. But because of the capital, it gave her opportunities that many will never be able to experience. It got her and her younger brother and sister into the best private schools, as they started to attend them from pre-school and would until they went off to college. But, one of the many things that Geo is grateful for is her parent’s brutal honesty. They expected only the best from their children in terms of success regardless of what profession they ventured down. While the surname could get them through any door, the children needed to take life by the horns and control it, or else they’ll feel trapped to a list of assumptions due to past generations. Those words instantly consumed Georgina. The eldest daughter dreamed of doing incredible things in this world and nothing less than. So, it wasn’t a surprise when a ten-year-old Georgina started bringing stray pets home as she held them out to her and said, “Mommy, I’m going to be a veterinarian, and I’d love to keep this puppy if I can take care of him.” 

Jonathan and Sylvie supported her daughter’s promise to raise the family dog, Gordo. After all, it was difficult for them to say no to those doe-eyes they fell in love with those years ago ─ the same feeling that captured the couple when they had their two youngest children. But, all of the years and all of the lessons both of them taught the kids, the importance of being responsible while remaining humble regardless because of their circumstances, allowed Georgina to take a leading role as dog-owner. Ultimately, this decision would cement the kind of woman she will grow up to be, and it did. Not only did it make her want to become a veterinarian, but every time she saw a stray on the side of the road, the young girl felt the need to bring it home with her and nurture them. It would always make her mother beam proudly because the amount of love her daughter has for animals didn’t wither over the years. The sight alone made Jonathan and Sylvie put their minds together in encouraging their sixteen-year-old daughter to apply for the local veterinary receptionist position. The opportunity to work and earn money for herself, knowing that money didn’t come from trees, further enhanced her decision to become a vet and keep the girl on track of applying to the families’ alma mater ─ Stanford University.

As the year and a half passed, awaiting the nerve-wracking results on whether or not she got into any of the university that she applied for, her younger sister came rushing through the door with the mail. The sound of a high-pitched sequel of a pre-teen growing into her body pulled the eldest sister right off the couch as she almost slipped on the polished hardwood floors to the kitchen: Loyola, Stanford, Georgetown, Princeton. All of these schools that she applied to resulted in flying colors. However, even though the rest happened to be her back-ups for the worst-case scenario, there was no point for her to second guess her decision. The firstborn will be chanting the known Stanford Hymn in the fall time at her first-ever college football game. 

Conquering four years of her undergraduate degree in Biology while enduring an endless amount of hours of studying in her dorm room, Georgina graduated with summa cum laude. It was one accomplishment upon the journey that she had ahead of herself. It was a big deal for her to graduate from Stanford and honor the legacy of her family. All she could remember throughout her years is how her father told her to fight for the dreams that keep her captive. It had been her parents who instilled words of confidence as it allowed her to fight. Her life and story has always been about doing something for herself and to make her way in this world. She could’ve worked alongside her mother and the business. Or she could’ve been a professional female golfer with support from her father. These would’ve been the most comfortable option, but they weren’t for her. So it’s why she focused like no other and prayed each day since taking her MCAT that it will guarantee her a post in Stanford’s Medical School Program.

It did. 

It would take her another four years until Georgina could walk across the Stanford stage once more with the title: Degree of Veterinary Medicine. It’s another step toward her dream from the age of ten years old. Although this time… things were different; the woman was madly in love and was engaged to be married in the following springtime. It almost felt like a dream come true. Her parents loved her future-husband. Her brother and younger sister were always glued to the new couple’s side ─ insisting on them to go and grab drinks once the parents’ bore went to sleep, which would cause a reaction from Jonathan and Sylvie of no other. It was all that she could dream of (even though she hadn’t focused too much on relationships over the years, but that’s a detail she doesn’t share). Everything felt good. All she has ever known is a life of stability.

And it was good for quite a bit of time. Married, in love, and back on the ground of her upbringing. Life in Catalina continued like no other, and her career as a vet started to take off as she opened her veterinary hospital ─ Livingston Veterinary Hospital in Avalon. As things progressed with her business and word traveled around town to the eventual mainland California, she earned a new title nine-months later to a beautiful boy named Asher. It had been in that moment when she understood what her parents felt when she had entered their world those years ago. It would only be two years later when Asher became a big-brother to Joanna. Though, she grew numb after both of her pregnancies and became difficult to be around, and would barely move unless it was for the kids who would jolt her back to reality. Some days she’d be full of anger, and other days, the new mother would spend all day on the couch crying as if this was the end of the world. It could’ve been one of the reasons why her husband pulled away when she got diagnosed with postpartum depression. Throughout the years, Georgina had been stable and a head on her shoulders with goals one after another. Then boom, her body decided to start a war with her and would fall to make her pits of hell as she has more responsibilities more than anything. She felt lost at sea and needed her husband more than anything.

He found love in another and lied to her. 

So, when the truth came out about his affairs, it was just a slap in Georgina’s face and their family. Even though she’s a woman that would never seek vengeance for the agony she suffered and had to get through it alone. Although, she felt like the universe did her wonders in looking out for her when the cops showed up on her front doorstep with news about her husband’s passing in an automobile accident in Los Angeles with his mistresses and the secret child. Long now, the thought of who she married became numb to her that the news caused her to blink a few times to process the information. After all, it’s always been Georgina, Asher, and Joanna for the last few years, and it’s almost like nothing is missing from the picture. But, she knows everyone has been expecting her to suffer. In a way, it’s a show that she gave others for the first couple of months before wanting nothing to do with her past.

PERSONALITY

Positive: Respectful | Open-minded | Tranquil

Negative:  Bossy | Picky | Cautious

Georgina Livingston is portrayed by Steph.

[theancientgeekoroman]

Hello there! I’m currently an undergrad (junior) majoring in history and anthropology, hoping to go to grad school to get a masters in museum studies. I’m also currently part of my university’s honors college, but I’m considering dropping it. Last semester I got super stressed and it really made me want to slow things down a bit (honors requires special classes and a senior thesis) but I don’t know how much being in the honors college could help me get into grad school. Do you have any advice?

Hi, Andrea! 

So, I’m in the U.S., so this is going to be specific to universities here, and if you want me to expand/clarify anything, please let me know. I’m going to tell you about my journey to an MA in Museum Studies, and I hope it will help you.

I attended school on the East Coast at a decent, but not Ivy League or anything of that caliber institution. My majors were History/Classics and English/Creative Writing with minors in Art History and Theatre. I was not in the honors college myself, I entered in as a non-honors student.

But I did fail multiple courses. And had to psychologically withdraw from others. One semester I retroactively withdrew from when I was about to graduate. My GPA was 2.67. Traditionally, to get into graduate school, you need at least a 3.0, if not higher. This was my worry; however, as an undergraduate, I also did the following: volunteered in a historic costume collection, the university archaeology lab, and a local community art gallery; completed an internship at a natural history museum; and was one of eight people to gain a spot in a competitive Curatorial Apprenticeship program at the school.

Additionally, I did an independent study where I wrote my own paper (an analysis of a 4th-century Apulian pelike, for which I identified its possible use and the meaning of the imagery.) I didn’t go to my Museum Studies program right out of my undergrad, but one year after I had graduated, and after I had begun part-time paid position and part-time volunteer position at two different museums. I applied and got in on conditional admission because of my undergraduate record: they recognized that I had the experience but was not quite there on the grades front. I graduated that program with a 3.89, which helped me get into my second MA. 

My advice, therefore, is this: I don’t think you need the honors distinction to get into a Master’s program. The more important thing for Museum Studies programs, in my experience, has been the experience. So, if you drop the honors program because the workload is stressing you out, I don’t think it’ll make it harder for you to get in! 

Suggestions for different things you can do for experience:

-Do an independent study course focusing on an area/era that you are interested in. I did a 1-credit independent study so it wouldn’t overload my other required work, and I still developed the skills I needed for the future. I did research and analysis and wrote a paper about an artifact that no one had yet studied in the university museum collection. This will give you a small, independent project which I think can be akin to a thesis project but on a smaller scale if that makes sense? It won’t be a graduation requirement, and you’ll still gain useful experience.

-For anthropology, first, see if you have an archaeology lab on campus where you can volunteer (I was able to do this in the “slower” Winter and Summer sessions because it was still open, and I didn’t have to worry about committing for a full semester). Additionally, see if there are any programs from your local parks service where they need archaeology or anthropology volunteers. Field schools locally or abroad are also an option if you want to do that, but I know those can be expensive, but some are less pricey than others. You can sometimes opt out of the academic credit portion if you’ve already graduated.

-For history, look into your local archives or State Historic Preservation Office (if you’re in the States) or what would be your country’s equivalent to that.

-For museums in general, look into possible opportunities for apprenticeships, internships, or volunteer positions if you’re able to do that; take advantage of your breaks and your summers (both while in undergrad and right after you graduate). You could volunteer/intern at anywhere from a small community art studio to a large local museum, it all depends on your interests. I’ve done everything from Gallery Attendant where I was the only person present to watch over a small gallery and take care of sales (manually! No register) in the little shop that was attached to Curatorial intern cataloging specimens and objects and translating tags on ornithology collections from Japanese to English. 

Check to see what opportunities are in your area in terms of volunteering and internships, but especially look for opportunities on campus because that requires less travel and helps you figure out what you like the best. My university had a Historic Costume & Textile Collection, an archaeology lab, and three different museum galleries on campus (main gallery, contemporary African-American art, and a geological gallery) where you could work as a Gallery Attendant. 

I realize you said that you want to drop the honors college because you were stressed, and I completely understand that, especially as someone who seems to be double majoring. I know this all looks overwhelming together, but remember I spaced out these experiences and you don’t have to go straight into graduate school from undergrad if you feel like you want to take some time in between to gain experience, etc. you should do that. 

My experiences were spaced out in this way: the Apprenticeship was during a school year where I didn’t have any other intern/volunteer responsibilities, and I did my independent study in conjunction with it, so my Mentor was also my supervisor for the independent research. One summer, I did volunteer work sporadically at a gallery but also had a 6-week internship. So, say you want to use your summer to gain experience, but also not burn out: field schools can be long, but I know of a few that are only 1-2 weeks, then take a bit of time off, then do an internship or volunteer or both, if you feel like it suits you. I know a lot of people emphasize continuous hustle, but don’t be afraid to give yourself breaks and try not to stress too much over the experience (I’m sure you have some already!). Even if you don’t, there are plenty of things you can do that will show your potential as a graduate student without coming out of the honors college. 

I hope that helped, and please let me know if you need anything else! 

All the best,

Tychon, the Ancient Geeko-Roman