#however i went to high school during the main part of the pandemic

[genderqueer-karma]

crying real tears my japanese teacher came back to the states after going back to japan in 2020

[ddkdus]

“Road of the Ace: A literary Journalism of Lee Heeseung”

-Ayeon Jeong

In 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I watched a K-pop survival show called “I-Land,” which altered my life. Specifically, "I-Land" is a survival show that eliminates trainees who aren’t able to make it into the top seven, chosen by professional music producers of BELIFT Lab or global citizens through a voting app. It was a collaboration between the Hybe label, the entertainment company behind BTS and TXT, and TVN, a Korean broadcast system. Lee Heeseung was one of the candidates, a twenty-two-year-old Korean man born on October 15, 2001. Now. He is a member of the famous K-pop boy band “Enhypen.”

Lee Heeseung was an ordinary Korean junior high school student preparing to attend senior high. However, since his father knew he had an ambition to become a singer, he urged him to apply to an art school for senior high. He listened to him and went to the school for his entrance exam and audition. That is when he got scouted by various entertainment companies. Among all, he chose BigHit as it was the company that desired to contract with him as soon as possible.

Since then, he began his journey of becoming a K-pop idol. After three years of training, he got an opportunity to debut through the audition/survival program I-Land. In the first episode, he mentioned that he trained alongside the present TXT members, which made the viewers interested in him. The other candidates defined him as the ace among the trainees and even put him as a role model, which raised expectations among the viewers. Moreover, he became famous for his deer-like eyes, powerful dance gestures, sweet voice, leadership, and proficiency he showed during the missions. Heeseung was able to obtain many votes from the public, acquire the first choice from the producer, and secure the fifth-place position at the end. Being at the show was not painless, but he always did his best.

Right after he officially became part of the debut team Enhypen, he experienced new wrangles. He had his own songs to practice, artist manner lessons, foreign language lessons, and most importantly, his own fans he must amuse. Unexpectedly, he is the eldest member of the group. Though he was suggested to become the team leader, he denied it, as he thought becoming the leader and eldest at the same time meant more responsibility, and said he would do his job as the eldest member.

November 30, 2020, when he debuted, his life was more than he expected. He had a hard time preparing for his debut, but the love he received from his fans made it worth it. He may not interact with his fans that much, but his love for the Engenes is vivid. Enhypen then received a lot of titles like “The 4th Gen Hot Icon” and “K-pop’s present and future.” Additionally, they received awards from big awards shows like the Rookie award from MAMA and AAA awards and the main prize from the Seoul Music Awards.

In conclusion, Lee Heeseung's journey from an ordinary student to a member of the successful K-pop group Enhypen showcases his determination, talent, and humility. Despite facing challenges along the way, such as the rigorous training process and the pressures of the debut, he has remained grounded and grateful for the support of his fans and family. His contributions to Enhypen's success have earned him recognition he would never forget. Now, he is maintaining his journal with a few new aspects in life like producing a music.

[fromthecouch]

I have always watched too much tv - an introduction.

A personal history of my relationship with the small screen.

My grandparents, who were my main parental figures growing up, didn’t work 9 to 5s. My grandfather worked as a bus driver for the Chicago Transit Authority, for over 20 years. His schedule often fluctuated. My grandmother worked as an expeditor for architectural firms. She made her hours and often came home later in the evening. For a significant part of childhood and all of my adolescence, I spent a lot of time alone. Sometimes I would go to my friends’ homes after school or my younger cousin would stay for the evening; however, from 3:00 PM-8:00 PM on weeknights, my main source of connection to other humans was through our living room television, the screen of my family’s desktop, and the pages of fiction.

It was not until recently that I learned of the term ‘latchkey kid.’ I had been watching the A&E Freaks and Geeks documentary on Amazon Prime when I noted the phrase. It had been used during an interview portion of the documentary when one of the production team members used it to describe Bill Haverchuck. The documentary cut to a scene of Bill, one of the show’s “geeks”, sitting in front of a television, laughing hysterically, with grilled cheese and Entenmann’s chocolate cake on a TV tray. The interviewee recalled their childhood similarities to Bill —the experience of a latchkey life. I was immediately intrigued and paused the documentary to turn to Google.

Freaks and Geeks, Episode 14: Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers

The search brought me to the Wikipedia definition, listed as “a child who returns to an empty home after school or a child who is often left at home with no supervision because their parents are away at work.” I reflected more in-depth on this and found myself assessing my relationship to fiction and how it raised me.

I have always watched too much tv. I used to read voraciously. I would buy random ‘pre-viewed’ DVDs from Blockbuster and played them in rotation until I got my hands on a new batch and a new rotation started. My grandparents often enabled my habit as a reader, yet I would go through books too quickly for my family trips to the library or Borders to keep up. Most of my planned reading for the week would be completely consumed by the end of the night on Tuesday or Wednesday, so the rest of my weekly time alone, I would turn to watch things.

At a young age, I viewed watching television as infinite. Since it was before the era of eBooks, there was a limited number of hours that my books could sustain me for each week, but television would always be there for me. I watched everything — movies, children’s shows, reality television, teen dramas, daytime television, sitcoms, documentaries, sometimes even infomercial channels. Fifth grade is when I truly became in awe of all that the small screen had to offer. My grandparents had upgraded to the premium package on Comcast. We went from a few dozen channels to having HBO, The N, Discovery Kids, multiple channels of MTV, channels that played history docuseries around the clock, the Filipino variety show channel, and so much more.

As a kid, film, literature and television was how I got to know the world. When I was a teenager, I more actively started to engage with what I was watching and reading. Fiction helped me dream of what I wanted for my life. How I consumed television and film during those years laid the groundwork for who I am as a person now. That was also when I had begun to use fiction to feel less lonely, to escape from the pressures of turbulent home life, to relate to my peers. I had curated a group of friends that also had independence thrust upon them at a young age. Watching tv with each other over the phone and renting films to watch together on the weekends was a big part of how we related to one another — the common interests that bound our friendships, as mutual indoor kids. My high school years also coincided with Netflix’s shift from delivery rentals to mainly streaming, which allowed us to consume a new set of content, in an entirely new way. With adulthood approaching, we segued into the era of series binge-watching.

I was diagnosed with panic disorder and major depression when I was in my sophomore year of university. It was around that time that I became more cognizant of the way that I used television and film as coping mechanisms. Sometimes they served healthy coping mechanisms, sometimes they became more like distractions, and numbing agents. Whatever the case, I sometimes doubt that I would’ve gotten through some of my lowest times without the fictional characters, places and storylines of my favorite shows.

In 2017, I struggled with some chronic health issues, nothing serious, but very debilitating. It took me a year to stabilize. At that time, I hardly saw my friends. I had to quit my job and was unemployed for a full year, living with my boyfriend’s family in an unfamiliar suburb. I was too ill to hold down a full-time position. I was always in pain. I entered the longest depressive episode of my life, which made reading, my first love, feel daunting. I also struggled with a lot of vestibular migraines. The aftermath of those lingered for days and sometimes left me in a fog that made the words on a page feel painful.

I still had television though. On my worst days, I often only had the bandwidth to make doctors’ appointments, eat oatmeal, and rewatch television series I had already seen. The Chinese Restaurant episode of Seinfeld made me smile when I otherwise felt numb. Buffy the Vampire Slayer made me feel resilient when I felt incapable of basic human functions. Daria made me feel understood when I felt completely isolated from my peers. 

Seinfeld, Season 2 Episode 11 The Chinese Restaurant

On my better days, I could venture into a new series, which involved more attention. I mainly consumed television rather than movies for the most part, as I didn’t like having my time spent with characters and plots to feel limited. (The major exception to this was the MCU, due to the span of central, interconnected plots.) With access to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime and HBO plus, I found television to again feel like my main connection to other people. When I felt like I didn’t have anyone else, I had Mr Robot, Atlanta, Glow, Mozart in the Jungle, Westworld, Stranger Things, Game of Thrones, Black Mirror, Big Little Lies, Insecure. When the pain from my migraines, GI issues, ovarian cysts, and mundanity of my newly “sick” life made me feel terrible, watching the fictional lives of others helped me escape. Watching these fictional lives, helped me feel like I was surrounded by others and living their lives with them when my own life felt on pause and isolated.

In 2018, I was fortunate enough to get on a successful diet and medication combination that allowed me to stabilize my health, move back to the city, reestablish my friendships, and resume my career. Even so, I still have more mild depressive episodes. I still get medical flareups. I am still a normal person who occasionally faces conflict, as that is just life. When I’m in those darker places, television is often both a distraction and connection that helps me recalibrate. Now here I am, at my current age of 27, and I still depend on fiction to be there for me.

Once the COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions started in March of 2020, I, like everyone else around the country, found myself limited in social interaction. I maintained some level of relatedness to others through my cat, my boyfriend, group texts with friends, and my Zoom work meetings. Yet, television was again a big part of how I related to the human experience. Television persisted in reminding me of what life was like pre-pandemic and what it could be in the future. It has helped me keep boredom and restlessness at bay. Through this time, I’ve found myself watching many series that I would have never watched otherwise. I have also found myself analyzing the series that I watch more thoroughly and with more curiosity than I had the capacity to in my youth and during my time of medical distress.

This year was also the first year that I have started writing for leisure, since high school. Being so online over the past year, I’ve often found myself with many thoughts to collect, package cohesively, and express, yet I’ve felt very limited by the current platforms I often interact with. I often feel like I cannot articulate meaningful thought on platforms like Instagram and Twitter, which are limiting by word limit and social media norms. My newfound revived interest in writing has often collided with my enthusiasm for television, film, and pop culture, more broadly.

It may be true that I watch too much television. It may also be true that television was one of my first true friends and in many ways an extra parental figure. I want to move beyond watching too much television. I want to openly explore television, what it means to me, what it means to the collective, and examine the things that we love to watch or have loved to watch with a critical lens. That is what I hope to express on here.

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

[neomikey]

For June 2021's #ryukoprompt!  Time to go swimming!

I don't have a favorite “summer memory,” exactly.  However, I do remember growing up that summers were always a proper season book-ended by the end and start of the school years.  The weather grew warmer, I was relieved for three months of the obligation of going to school, and that time was spent hanging out with friends any day of the week, playing video games, and sometimes my parents would take us all somewhere for vacation.

Some place that was a staple of the summer, though, was the Hobart Community Pool, though we all just said “the Hobart Pool.”  As of this writing, it's 59 years old and is still in operation today, though they've added more from when I was a child.  Growing up through the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s, it was a basic pool – technically two – and we all loved it.

It was a meeting place, where you and everyone you knew were likely to bump into each other at some point in the summer.  All manner of people grouped there, from the young to the old.  We would spend hours there at the pool and the time always went by quicker than expected.

You passed through a wooden gate house, where you would show your membership or pay them.  The main area where the staff was had two large windows – one facing out to incoming customers and one facing in towards the main pools.  They had music playing there, pool supplies on the wall, and were generally easygoing.  All the staff were that I encountered.  You then passed through a gendered show area, where you could clean up and change, and then you were put out in front of the kiddie pool.

Almost no adults ever hung out in there.  The shallowest end of the pool was two feet deep, where the absolute beginners – regardless of age – could literally get their feet wet.  The pool deepened as you went further in, until you stood at one end where it just reached three feet.  There was no paint on that end to mark how deep it was, but I remembered as a kid being absolutely sure it was three feet, since the water went up to me the same amount when I was in the other pool.  I felt like a genius.

The other pool was the main pool, which is in the shape of a large L. The main rectangle went from three feet gradually down to five feet. Of course, this also meant that as you went deeper, the people swimming generally were older as well.  This pool was mainly where I and everyone else did our swimming.  In the middle was a huge water slide, and at the end deep in the five-foot section was a basketball hoop.  I remember my dad frequently playing over there.

The smaller rectangle of the L was the deep end – 12 feet – and was separated by a rope which no one was allowed to cross.  This was where the diving boards were.  Normally, the deep end was only for people using the diving boards, but oftentimes they would allow open swimming as well.  I remember being older and being able to get to the bottom, where I would stand and walk, simply because I could.   There were three diving boards.  Two of them were on the outside and were short, and the high-dive was in the middle.  I think it was two stories tall at the top.

Every hour they would blow a whistle, announcing that “adult swim” had started, meaning that the kids needed to get out, rest, and let the “old people” enjoy the whole pool to themselves.  I still remember the whistle blows they would do.  If I recall correctly, there would be three bursts, which were echoed by all the other lifeguards who heard it.  When it was time to go back in, they would do one long blow that would shift its intensity, mimicking how we would say “alley-oop!” when hoisting something heavy.

Adult swim was also when people would take the time to visit their cafe...though I use the word lightly. It was there to sell cheap food like candy, hotdogs, and soft drinks. It was also the place where I was introduced to banana Laffy Taffy, and to this day, I still love the stuff.  Park benches were set up in a lightly protected area, and I remember occasionally seeing curious wasps in that area.

The pool used to have a line of trees protecting it.  They were tall evergreen trees planted side by side, and did fantastic work blocking out the wind when it came from that direction.  However, eventually Hobart's hospital was built and they built a road right through what used to be a prairie to give it better access.  Part of the road's installation involved taking down those trees.  I didn't think they “needed” to, I thought there was plenty of room, but I'm sure there was some proper reason.  My friend Tim joked this was going to cause a lot of accidents.  He said guys were gonna be driving, see a hot lady in a bikini, and get distracted.

I have many memories from there.  Most good, some bad.  I loved being underwater and would frequently be under there.  My eyes would eventually hurt from the chlorine, but that was the price I willingly paid.  I would sometimes be underwater and swim through crowds of people.  I'm told I surprised a few of them, as they weren't expecting to suddenly see a child going past their feet.

My friends and I would frequently play there.  There would be light roughhousing, but it was mostly just swimming, playing, and laughing.  We would talk about or mimic stuff we had seen in video games.  I remember squirting a line of water out through my teeth and calling it a laser.  When we were allowed to swim in the deep end, I jumped off the side and brought my limbs close to my body, mimicking Iron Man in the Captain America and the Avengers arcade game. This always got me pretty deep pretty quickly.  Other times we would try out stuff, such as someone lying on the bottom, then someone else standing on their back to keep them there.  When the person on the bottom had to come up for breath, he would stand and topple the person on top over.  I remember back skin feeling really weird on my feet.

There was a way to swim during adult swim if you were a kid, and that was to pass the “Dolphin” exam.  You had to get from one end of the main pool, down the length, and to the other side.  You had to do it while swimming properly – freestyle – and had to go straight.  It was difficult for me to pass and I remember once skewing to the side and hitting the side of the pool near the water slide.  I failed that one.  I know I did pass it at least once and wore the Dolphin badge on my swim trunks with pride that summer.  

There was one incident where I thought I was older, mature, and brave enough to tackle the high dive.  I stood in line, ascended, and then once at the top, looked over the edge.  It was so, so far down and I couldn't bring myself to jump.  I remember some people calling up to me, telling me I wasn't allowed to climb down and I had to jump.  I appreciate them trying to motivate me to get over my fears, but it only made me more scared. Eventually, I climbed down and broke into tears.  My dad was there to comfort me as I came down and I told him I would never swim again. That turned out to be wrong.

When I was old enough to drive, I started going to the Hobart Pool on my own.  My whole life up to that point I had always gone there with someone and getting to be there on my own felt like another step into adulthood.  It was a nice feeling that if it was hot out and my parents were busy, I could hop in my vehicle and just go.

As time went on, my time wasn't as structured.  I was no longer in school, I had jobs, and held different interests where the pool didn't interest me as much.  Summers were no longer an event, but something in the background that meant we had to roll down the car windows.  I didn't have a need for membership to the Hobart Pool anymore, and it wasn't until years later after I was married that I realized how long it had truly been since I had gone swimming.

Once the pandemic is over, my wife and I agree – we're hitting the pools hard.

[drama-and-tv]

First half of 2020 tv shows/dramas completed

SO apparently, my original blog “may contain sensitive media” (how my original blog contains them, I have no idea because I don’t think I have ever written nor posted anything that is inappropriate) so here I am, making a new one even though there are just so so many thoughts I poured in that blog since the beginning of 2018. 

I wish I could put all of the contents from there here. But since I don’t know how to do that, I shall only put up my thoughts on the things that I have completed watching this year (2020) that I have put up from there.

With that being said, here they go... most of them in the original words that I had typed/written from last time. My only change will be the rating (now I shall use the numerical rating since I have figured how to rate things properly in numbers now) :

Season 2 of Sex Education was such a delight to watch! While I do feel that it lacks some Otis and Maeve’s interactions (and wtf is that cliffhanger?), I feel that the other characters are given the opportunity to flesh out and have really good story lines. Definitely a step up to Season 1!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

Bad news: The third part/season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is the worst part of the show that I’ve watched so far. Good news: I still somewhat like it.

The main issue of this new-released part is how messy it is story wise. There are far too many things going on that it felt a little bit too chaotic - like there’s the Pagan storyline, there’s that Faustus storyline etc etc. It’s just too much.

What makes me still enjoy it is because of its characters. I am attached to the characters and I wanna see their journeys in this show. For instance, Ambrose and Prudence are probably the standouts in this season because they are just super badass here.

Overall, it’s okay. I would still watch this show when the new set of episodes are released.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Honestly, Chocolate would’ve been better or ranked higher if they cut down the number of episodes - from 16 to maybe just 8.

Despite its melodramatic tone and ridiculous story line, I actually really enjoyed the initial episodes. I mean okay, the time jumps are a bit too much but I was sold on the emotions and the characters. It’s a melodrama, for crying out loud - it’s not meant to be realistic.

But then, for some unknown reason, it got draggy around the second half of the drama. And it affected my love for the drama. It was like they put a brake on the main plot and save for it the last episode (which it did).

This does not mean that it’s not a good drama. For the most part, I actually enjoyed it and I was invested in the characters’ journeys.

Just that it could be better.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Honestly, Black Dog was not a drama I thought of watching. The posters and the plot did not make me feel compelled to watch it because for some reason, I thought this drama would be something like those corruption dramas or corporate dramas - while I can enjoy those kind of dramas, I do have to be in the ‘mood’ to watch them.

It was only when I started seeing some gifs/images over Tumblr that I started to consider it. And when more and more people raved about it, I knew that I just have to check it out.

And just like what these people said, it was good. A really good drama, actually! I think what I love about this drama is how realistic it really is. I like that I can actually relate to the world and the characters in the drama. While Haneul and I don’t share the same type of field, I can empathise with her struggles in obtaining/maintaining her employment and sitting for the certification exam. I can empathise with how she tries to navigate the world of school and teaching.

All I know is I have definitely cried or teared up in some of the episodes. (that’s really a feat cause the last time I cried like this in a tv show/drama is season 3 of Anne with an E and we all know how I feel about that show.)

I also love how there is a good balance between drama and comedy in this drama. While this is primarily a drama, I like that it doesn’t feel heavy. It makes it easier to watch multiple episodes in one sitting.

If there is one minor problem with this drama, it is that it feels like the main drama ends with 12 episodes and the remaining 4 episodes are the epilogue or extra episodes. While the remaining 4 episodes are still pretty good, it has somewhat cooled my love for this drama. However, I do appreciate it and it gives a good look at what happened after Haneul’s first year of teaching.

With that, I have contemplated on whether to give this drama the best rating I could give in the drama or the second best. Considering that there is barely any flaw in this drama, I shall give it...

FINAL RATING: 10/10

Season 2 of Kingdom did not disappoint. It maintained the same energy and intrigue that it brought in the previous season. There’s the excitement, there’s the high-quality production and there’s never really a chance for it to falter or drag. Its pacing remains consistent and I remain hooked to the end. I also like that this show does not end in an agonising cliffhanger - it wraps up the main plot that was introduced in the first season and at the same time, teases on what is to come in the possible season 3.

Overall, a really good season!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

I gotta admit, Crash Landing On You was a pretty nice watch! I initially had quite low expectations for this drama - I have hard time being truly engaged in big budget romcoms because they tend to be unrealistic and too fluffy (and I like my dramas pretty realistic).

But to my surprise, I actually really like it. The episodes (particularly the first half of the drama) were candies to the mind and to the eye! Yes, this drama is hella trope-y and there’s a lot of moments which are very unrealistic and are there to be flashy and amp up the romance. But you know, something about this drama just works.

Of course, like a lot of k-dramas, the second half of the drama is less addictive to watch. But it was still a pretty good watch. I mean, it got my mum really addicted and my brother to finally watch a k-drama beyond Kingdom after all these years.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

For someone who doesn’t know shiz about baseball, Stove League was still a very good drama to watch. It has that underdog story (in this drama, the under-performing baseball team for 2 years in a row, Dreams) that makes it easy to root for. It remained tight and consistent throughout its run. Its tone is very balanced - has good balance of serious and comic relief.

And most importantly, it’s not very hard to like the characters that matter.

Overall, very solid drama!

FINAL RATING: 9/10

When the Weather is Fine is really a good drama to watch at the moment, during the midst of this current pandemic. Even though initially (the first episode) it did not win me over due the drama’s slow pace, I gradually enjoy watching it regardless of its pace and eventually, I was hooked.

This drama has a very calming and “healing” aspect to it even though the subjects dealt can be serious. I like that even though there’s some serious issues here, the drama remains well-balanced and still has plenty of light-hearted scenes. Lim Hwi (the male lead’s younger sister) is definitely my favourite character in this drama as she brings a lot of sunshine to the table with her innocent teen self. Also, the comforting presence of the community (whether it being the Good Night Book Club member or the people/families in the neighbourhood etc) along with naturally serene setting make the drama feels warm.

With that, I recommend watching this drama, especially to anyone who wishes to seek comfort and feel warm.

FINAL RATING: 8/10

Netflix’s Never Have I Ever was an unexpected treat for me. I did not know the existence of this show prior to its release. I did not see any of its promos/trailers etc. So there was no expectations whatsoever prior to watching it.

My brother and I only happened to stumble upon it when trying to find something to watch on Netflix. So you can say that this was a present that came out of nowhere because as soon as I just went into it (within the first few minutes), I already really like it!

This show was funny. It was relatable as someone who comes from an Asian background. And most importantly, it has plenty of hearts. Trust me, I was tearing up when watching the last two episodes of this season (I sincerely hope that the show will be renewed for the next season).

Definitely a really nice show to binge quickly as it only has 10 half-hour episodes.

FINAL RATING: 9/10

Find Me in Your Memory was a pretty decent watch. Yes, it is a very standard kdrama in the sense that the plot is very very generic and there are so so many obvious tropes here. However, its characters and the chemistry of the main leads still made it worth a look. This drama might not be the most unforgettable or unique drama out there, but it is very easy to watch and it makes a good addition to anyone’s watchlist if you want something straightforward and not complicated.

FINAL RATING: 6/10

Man, A Piece of Your Mind could have easily been this perfect drama that I’ve ever watched this year had it only retained its original length. It is not to say that this drama is not good - it is as of now, actually one of the top dramas among the dramas I’ve watched this year.

This drama basically fits the type of drama I typically love: a realistic drama which examines more on its characters and focuses on emotions etc. Yes, I know people have complained that it is very slow but to me, that was part of its charm. I love slowly getting to know its characters and how they are feeling etc. I like being emotionally connected to them and follow on their journeys.

So I’m just sad the drama was cut from 16 episodes to 12 (reason being because of its low number of audiences). While the drama did its extreme best in making it work and it does not affect the main plot of the drama other than speeding things up nor does it really diminish my enjoyment for this drama, I’m just sad on what could’ve been if they were able to keep the extra 4 hours to the story. Like, we could’ve gotten better exploration on the characters etc (especially for instance that character who was played by the evil mother in law from Search: WWW and the Eunjoo’s Homestay residents and even frigging Hoon, Hawon’s colleague... like why was he even in the grandma’s house in the countryside?) . Things would’ve been more... organically unfold.

Despite all this, I still really enjoy watching this drama and I still remain invested in the characters’ journeys etc. Our main leads’ relationship feels warm and comforting. The vibe of this drama is just my kind of taste. And most importantly, I feel comforted watching it until the end.

FINAL RATING: 9/10

With that being said, those are some of the shows/dramas that I have completed up until now. Others that I have completed are season 2 of The Sinner (5/10), ITV’s Belgravia (6/10), Netflix’s The Circle France (soooo entertaining with plenty of drama and strategies, 8/10), season 18 of American Idol (8/10) and most recently, Netflix’s Extracurricular (I will eventually share my thoughts on it soon).

Stay tuned.

[medea10]

My Review of In/Spectre

How did I get into this anime? Let’s see what my check-list was back when I picked this up during the winter time. Does Crunchyroll have immediate rights to play it? Yes! Do I have one more slot open for weekly showings? Yes! Are you in the mood to hear Mamoru Miyano right now? Always! Let’s do it!

Kotoko Iwanaga is used to the abnormal and out of place situations. When she was 11 years old, she went missing for two weeks. During that time, demons asked her to become their “God of Wisdom”. However, Iwanaga lost her right eye and left leg as a result of this power. Fast-forward approximately 7 years later when she meets a college-aged male named Kuro Sakuragawa. She found a fascination with him, but kept her distance due to him being engaged to another woman named Saki.

But Kuro’s life changed when he and his girlfriend were on vacation and saw a kappa and the situation turned near-deadly. Due to an abnormality with Kuro, whenever it looks like he’s on the verge of death, he comes back to life. Thing is, his girlfriend Saki was absolutely set aback by this development and they wound up breaking up. With the news of Kuro and Saki splitting up, Iwanaga seizes this opportunity to spend more time with this young man as she asks for his assistance with dealing with the supernatural…

And to be her boyfriend!

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: At the moment, Crunchyroll is the only one with authority to this anime and several weeks after the premier, they gave us an English dub. So far, so good! I’m getting a chance to hear a few of the newer voice actors and even some veterans like Cristina Vee. Now that some time has passed, all of the episodes are finally dubbed after a long hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. As you already know from sentence one Kuro spoke, yes, that is Mamoru Miyano playing another main lead role. Luckily for me, he isn’t spazzy and he isn’t a holy asshole. Next to him, we have Akari Kitou who I’m hearing quite a bit of as of recent. I really enjoyed her performance as this insightful little lady. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE: *Iwanaga is played by Akari Kitou (known for Aru on Hitoribocchi, Nene on Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, and Kaho on Blend S)

*Kuro is played by Mamoru Miyano (known for Cilan on Pokemon BW, Light on Death Note, Tamaki on Ouran HSHC, Koutaro on Zombieland Saga, Rin on Free!, Death the Kid on Soul Eater, and Tsukiyama on Tokyo Ghoul)

*Saki is played by Misato Fukuen (known for Georgia on Pokemon BW, Chibiusa on Sailor Moon: Crystal, Iggy on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 3, Eruka on Soul Eater, Yami on To Love Ru, and Yin on Darker Than Black)

ENGLISH CAST: *Iwanaga is played by Lizzie Freeman (known for Cardinal on SAO: Alicization and Trish on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Pt. 5)

*Kuro is played by Brandon Winckler (known for Eugeo on SAO: Alicization and Dale on If It’s for My Daughter…)

*Saki is played by Lauren Landa (known for Kyouko on Madoka Magica, Michiru/Sailor Neptune on Sailor Moon [redub], Annie on Attack on Titan, Juno on Beastars, Xenovia on High School DxD, and Sakuya on SAO)

SHIPPING: Well, let’s see if I can make any sense out of this.

*Iwanaga x Kuro: I guess it was love at first sight for Iwanaga as she seemed to have developed a crush when she first met him at the hospital. And you could tell how disappointed she was when Kuro’s relationship with Saki was growing. Even when Kuro is still in the post-breakup mode, Iwanaga has the balls to ask him to enter a relationship with her in the span of a single episode. And even after the two-year time-skip…I guess they are in a relationship. At least according to Iwanaga they are! It’s just that Kuro is so damned uninterested it’s so hard to tell. I’m not sure if I’m fully on board with this ship. Mostly because of Kuro’s disinterested attitude whenever he’s around his “girlfriend”! Iwanaga is very controlling in this relationship and prone to jealousy when Saki re-enters the picture later in the Steel Lady Nanase arc.

*Kuro x Saki: Yes, Saki was Kuro’s former girlfriend. Actually, it was more than that! They were freakin’ engaged! But because Saki got freaked out by the fact that Kuro could regenerate his body if he gets severely injured, she ended the relationship. Yeah, I can totally see how that would be shocking for anyone to go through. Due to the mystery that Iwanaga and Saki were trying to solve, the romance talks kinda had to be put to the side. It seems as though near the end that Saki has put her feelings of Kuro in the past and seems to have moved on for the most part. Plus when Saki was engaged to Kuro, she felt inferior to ANOTHER past love of Kuro’s. And now we gotta talk about…

*Kuro x Rikka: They’re cousins! BLOOD COUSINS! But Kuro has a special place in his heart for his sickly cousin! I mean, his thoughts of being greeted by Rikka at home compared to his real girlfriend are freakin’ damning. Plus both of these people have the same anomolie courtesy of their fucked up family. I’m not sure after the whole Steel Lady Nanase mess if Kuro’s perception of Rikka has changed for the worse. I just know that there was definitely something between those two. Kuro brings all his girlfriends to meet Rikka only for Rikka to say something like, “she’s not your type”.

ENDING: For the majority of the series, Iwanaga and Kuro have found themselves in the midst of a mystery involving the death of a famous actress. Seems simple enough in an anime like this, an idol (Karin Nanase) dies suddenly by a steel beam to the face and comes back to haunt the world of the living as a ghost (later named Steel Lady Nanase). But it can’t be that simple! There’s gotta be reasons for Steel Lady Nanase’s existence and Iwanaga is gonna figure it out one way or another.

I mean, she knows the real truth. It’s just that someone is pulling the strings behind Steel Lady Nanase still causing havoc. She’s still running amok due to a fan website dedicated to the ghost. And that site has A LOT of traction with fans of all sorts. Add to this mind-fuck, Kuro’s “lovely” cousin Rikka is the administrator for the website. As I’ve mentioned before, she has that immortality power that her cousin possesses as well. And Rikka uses that power to keep things going with Steel Lady Nanase.

Iwanaga went through several scenarios to disprove Steel Lady Nanase’s existence. And all but one of those theories were poked by skeptics and even Rikka who was stalking the forums. It wasn’t until Iwanaga came up with the theory of Nanase meeting a woman who looks exactly like her and that her doppleganger was the one that died at the construction site. Somehow that was the theory millions of fans took as truth and this was how Iwanaga was able to take down Rikka and her fansite.

So everything is gonna go back to somewhat normal. Karin Nanase can rest in peace, the spirits around the area can rest easy without being tormented by a crazy bitch swinging a steel beam, Saki goes back to work as a police officer, Rikka is still lurking around, and we get a cute moment between Iwanaga and Kuro.

This anime started out strong, but once you realize that this Steel Lady Nanase arc was going to be covered in 10 episodes out of a 12 episode series, it kinda leaves this series a little underwhelming. The idea of having one character with the ability to communicate with spirits and another character with an anomolie in his body preventing him from dying seemed really interesting. Especially when you have someone like Iwanaga trying to solve mysteries and coming up with the best case scenario in every case! But that’s just it, we only got two cases in this 12 episode series. The manga still seems pretty new and so I’m hoping to see more development with Iwanaga and Kuro. It’s an okay series, it’s just that I give a hesitant recommendation with the warning that this will drag a bit when we’re stuck in Steel Lady Nanase hell for 10 episodes. In an anime season that was filled to the brim with mystery animes, I actually found myself a little more invested in Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun. But that’s just me! You guys make your own judgments on which mystery anime of 2020 wins your vote.

Final note: The OP is a banger and as for the ED, it’s always a treat whenever Mamoru Miyano is singing!

If you would like to watch In/Spectre, Crunchyroll has all 12 episodes available for streaming in both sub and dub.

[timothyboshaw]

Substance Abuse and Addiction during the Pandemic

Substance Abuse and Addiction during the Pandemic

Addiction is a plague to our modern society. Whether that be drugs, alcohol, nicotine, sex, video games, etc. most people have a habit they are struggling to break. We become dependent on these things for pleasure, or to simply help us through our daily lives. The main causes to drug use in particular, are depression and boredom. Depression itself also has many causes. It can be clinical, and purely based on the imbalance of chemicals in ones brain. It can be situational, which means it is based on a circumstance that brings a lot of emotional pain, such as the loss of a loved one or a bad break up. This is typically temporary. It can also be developed due to childhood trauma, whether that be physical or mental trauma. All these causes of depression, however serious, are mostly treatable. Whether that be through therapy, anti-depressants, or both, depression is largely treatable in the modern age. Boredom, the other cause of substance abuse, is obviously very treatable comparted to depression. Boredom can simply be fixed by entertaining the mind. Whether that be going out with friends, playing sports, or working, boredom is relatively treatable, and largely less serious than depression. Those who are depressed turn to something comforting, something that makes them temporarily feel uplifted. This is typically drugs, alcohol, and sex. While both alcohol and sex are not wrong or illegal, they should be exercised in moderation. Having too much sex can make you dependent on it for pleasure in your daily life Arthurs study suggests. And obviously, too much alcohol can make you an alcoholic. Those who are bored typically turn to other simpler and less dangerous ways to entertain their brains, but in some cases they turn to drugs, alcohol, and sex to fascinate them throughout the day.

Economics of Drugs

Just like any society, there is an illegal side of the economy. Just because illegal drugs are not taxed and not considered for a nations GDP (at least not Americas), does not mean there is not an economy behind it. The drug market is largely elastic. This is due to their addictive nature, and there not being many close substitutes. For instance, let’s say Jack and Sally are addicted to heroin. Jack and Sally are so dependent on heroin, that even if prices double, they would still find a way to get the heroin.  This defines an inelastic demand; as prices rise demand does not decrease at the same rate, or even relatively close to the same rate. Alcohol on the other hand is much more elastic. This is not due to how much less addictive alcohol is, as it is still extremely addictive, but to how many close substitutes there are. There are many types of alcohol, and as it is legal to consume, there are also many brands and sellers. This means if one alcohol brand raises its price, it is likely a consumer will purchase a different brand, making alcohol largely elastic.

 How the pandemic has Affected Drug Users

The pandemic has taken its toll on most of us, but it has particularly affected those of us who are extroverts. One study from Arthur back in 2019 stated that the majority of drug abusers would classify themselves as introverts (at least when not high). Introverted people do not prefer much human contact, so naturally the shutting of the economy and schools did not affect them as much as the rest of the population. A poll from Arther.com back in May 2020, stated that boredom and depression were the two main ideas people complained about when stuck in quarantine. Naturally, this caused drug and substance abuse to skyrocket. One thing I found particularly interesting that was not mentioned in the study is who was taking these drugs. Those who were already substance abusers did not increase the quantity of drugs they purchased, rather the rise in quantity of drugs sold was due to a large increase in customers. This is likely due to extroverts, who now could not have a social life, turning to drugs.

 How the Pandemic has affected Drug Economics

This change in demand for illegal substances not only affected society, but also the illicit economy. Drugs for the most part, has a fixed supply curve. Given that there is a domestic and international drug trade in America, there are multiple sources for drugs. International trade is very risky, and therefore there is typically not much fluctuation in the amount of drugs entering America. As seen in the Narcos documentary (which took place decades ago) as well as documentaries that take place in a slightly more modern time, the majority of drugs enter America on only a few fronts, and there is a finite amount entering on a monthly basis. As for the domestic drugs, they are typically produced in a lab. It is unlikely the increase in demand would cause a large increase in the supply, as the majority of people that would accept the drug dealer lifestyle, already have. Not many people will pull a Walter White and make their own meth to sell. As a result, the increase in demand will instead cause the price of drugs to increase without an increase in supply. This has made drugs a slightly rarer resource, causing people to seek it out all the more, given its inelastic demand. This is causing money to leave the hands of people already struggling during the pandemic, and money being received by those who were already making a huge profit prior to the pandemic. Not only are we in the midst of the pandemic that is covid-19, but we as America are experiencing another pandemic altogether; substance abuse

 How this has Affected me Personally

I have never been a drug user. I occasionally will have a beer with friends, however never let my brain reach a drunken state. When the pandemic hit, I lost contact with a lot of friends. For months on end, I was unable to see anyone, which led to incredible boredom. At one point, I went four weeks without any human contact besides my roommates and the grocer. I am extremely extroverted and value my social life heavily. This boredom was new to me and I did not really know how to handle it. I tried playing video games, watching a new TV show, and picking up guitar. None of those tasks really stuck, as they were not real human contact. Gradually this boredom morphed into depression. Every day was the same, and it seemed like I was going nowhere. I was working hard in school, but due to the nature of online learning, I felt like I was retaining very little knowledge. As a coping mechanism I turned to drugs and alcohol in order to feel some sense of pleasure and accomplishment. This made me feel better temporarily, however left me in an even worse state when I was sober. Eventually I became dependent on the drugs and alcohol to even get me through the day. That was this fall. Since then, I have been able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and stopped substance abuse altogether. This did however not fix the greater problem at hand, the lack of social interaction. Covid-19 has taken its toll on us all, and it affected me in this way. I really hope those in our government begin to realize the mental toll this lockdown has taken on the people and strive to open the economy back up. Obviously, they need to do this in a safe way, however taking away peoples social life, takes away a part of what makes us human, and can lead us to do things we’d never dream of doing.

[stealing-jasons-job]

10 Questions Tag Game

Rules: Answer 10  15 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people however many people your heart desires to answer them.

Tagged by the amazing @burninghoneyatdusk, @nakey-cats-take-bathsss, and @bookwormforalways, so you guys are getting 15 answers from me. 🥰

I apologize in advance for getting deep on main. lol 

1. Do you believe in soulmates/true love?

I don’t believe in soulmates, but I do believe in true love. 

Is there one person we’re fated to be with forever and ever? No, I don’t think so. As much as I love soulmate AUs and the idea of there being one person you know you’ll click with no matter what... I just don’t think it’s realistic. 

Instead, I think that there are lots of people you’re compatible with. And some people get lucky and meet a person they are compatible with at a time when both of them are ready to commit and build a life together. When that happens, you’re building a relationship and partnership that I believe turns into true love over time. 

2. What’s your happy place?

This is hard because I have a lot of happy places, but I think my number one happy place is my high school’s softball field. I’ve spent hundreds of hours on that field over my lifetime, and I miss it a lot now that I’m grown and moved away from home. Playing softball, being on the pitcher’s mound, was always where I just felt the most myself. I was 100% in my element, surrounded by some of my closest friends I’d known since I was 8 years old when we all played on the same tournament team. Worries about my body, all the bullshit with my dad, friend drama, boy drama, anxieties about the future... none of it could touch me when I was inside the fence of that field practicing or playing. 🥎

3. If you could befriend one fictional character (book/show/movie) who would it be and why?

Part of me wants to say Bellamy Blake because I would marry that man (sorry, Clarke). lol But I think realistically, I’m going to go with Olivia Pope because powerful friends are helpful and she’s a badass I’d like to have in my corner. 

4. Song lyrics that apply to your current mental state/state of your life rn: 

The song Lady Like by Ingrid Andress is my anthem rn. I relate to the entire song so much, but here’s the pre-chorus/chorus: 

“Controversial, so outspoken

I've been told I'm not ladylike

-

But I'm a lady, like whoa

I could bring you to your knees and

Get you kicked out the Garden of Eden

Untamable, unframeable, Mona Lisa, oh

Kiss you like a whiskey fire

Turn around, leave your heart in a riot

Lipstick in a cigarette pack on the dash

I'm a lady like that

I'm a lady like that”

5. What’s something that helps you stay positive even when things get hard?

Writing. It’s my passion, and I love crafting stories. It’s a way to escape — create a new world for me to live in or insert myself into a world I wish I could visit. But it’s also a good way to give myself perspective. My stress about work is smaller when I’m writing about characters trying to prevent the apocalypse. The current shit show that is... well, the whole world, is something I feel I can make a positive impact in when I’m writing about characters fighting a government conspiracy. 

6. What’s a memory you wish that you could go back in time to and relive?

This is so random, but one time in high school my group of friends did a big scavenger hunt. Each team made their own list of riddles for the other team to solve and then photograph within the city limits of our small town. After we got done, we went to our high school football field and broke into the press box to screw around with the PA system. Afterward, we just walked around for a while, laid down under the traffic light in the middle of the road (it was like 3 AM at this point on a backroad, so no cars).  It was such a wholesome night. lol Just 7 teenagers screwing around and having fun — not a single care in the world. I was in that weird, flirty stage with one of my guy friends. I had a softball game against our school rival coming up that I was excited for. Life was simple. I’d go back and relive that night in a heartbeat. 

7. If you could talk to your 13 year old self, what would you tell her/advice would you give her?

Being vulnerable isn’t the end of the world, and your worth is not conditional on your strength or usefulness. 

**Potenital TW** 

My dad was verbally and emotionally abusive my entire childhood (still is, I just am better equipped to handle it as an adult that doesn’t live in the same state). I grew up thinking that love was conditional and all vulnerabilities would be exploited for someone else’s gain. That any weakness shown would be used to hurt me. That makes it really hard for me to open up to people (for example, I would not be telling you guys this story if we were sitting in the same room rather than me typing it out on screen — and it’s still giving me anxiety to share), and it makes it really hard for me to form deep attachments and friendships since those typically hinge on sharing parts of yourself and being vulnerable with someone else. 

Maybe it wouldn’t have helped, but maybe if I could go back and tell myself during those formidable years that none of that is true... who knows how things could be different, how I could be different. 

Anyway, sorry about that sob story. Moving on. 

8. What’s your favorite quote of all time? Why?

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Because this logic can be applied to almost everything: Confidence isn’t the absence of insecurity, but rather the understanding that you have worth despite them. Goodness isn’t the absence of badness or darkness, but rather the conscious decision to reject those impulses to be better. Love isn’t to see an absence of flaws or irritation, but to respect and appreciate someone in part because of them. 

Plus, Princess Diaries I and II remain two of my favorite movies, which is where I first heard this quote. 👑

9. What is the quality you value most in a friend?

Being genuine. As mentioned above, the trust and emotional intimacy issues are real with me. lol But if I know you are a genuine person who’s going to shoot me straight and be upfront about what you’re thinking, feeling, etc. then it’s easier for me to let you in. It may take time, but it’ll happen eventually. 

10. If the pandemic magically ended today, how would you spend tomorrow?

On a plane. To somewhere with new people, crowded spaces, restaurants galore. Hong Kong, maybe. Or Tokyo. 🏙️

11. If you could go back in time and live in any era & location, and face no danger, where would you choose?

Vikings. God, I would have thrived in a Nordic society. Women’s rights were paramount, being strong and tough as a woman was celebrated, sword fighting and archery and rowing were important skills, they lived in cold places (I like winter), there’s a possibility I could have trained a dragon. Like, I’d miss some modern technology, but I’d live. lol 

12. What heroine of a movie, book, tv show, story, or history do you relate to most?

Honestly? Clarke Griffin. Bossy + has zero chill + occasionally says somethign v sassy + afraid of being vulnerable + refusal to show any weakness + doesn’t talk about her feelings + in love with Bellamy Blake + rocks the black leather aesthetic + wants to save the world but makes questionable decisions to do so? ✅✅✅

13. Without saying who the person is, what is a question you wish you could ask someone but can’t?

What the actual fuck do you think are you doing? 

(I’d actually like to ask this to two people, and I bet all of you can guess the two people right away lololol) 

14. In one sentence, what are you personally struggling with right now? 

Figuring out where I fit into the world. 

15. What’s a book/article/story that brought you joy/comfort/healing that you wish others would read?

How to Walk Away by Katherine Center. 

It’s a beautiful book that taught me a lot about self-worth, throwing out your life playbook (because it never goes according to plan), and thriving where you’re planted rather than lamenting the fact that you aren’t in a different garden. 

12/10 recommend! (Her other books are also amazing.) 

So I know this has made the rounds, and that everyone I’m about to tag has probably already been tagged, but here goes:  @historyofbellarke | @bellamyfknblake | @angstybleuskies | @fightformidnightx​ | @talistheintrovert​ | @junebugninja​ | @mobi-on-a-mission​ | @queenemori​ | @sassybooks​ | @edgelessness​ | + Anyone else who wants to join! 

My questions for you...

(Stealing some from others because they were good!) 

1. What album/playlist do you listen to when you’re in need of some inspiration/motivation? 

2. If money wasn’t an object, what would you want to do with your life? 

3. What’s your happiest memory? 

4. What’s something that helps you stay positive even when things get hard? 

5. What’s a book/movie/tv show that you turn to when you’re feeling down and need comfort? 

6. Do you believe in soulmates? 

7. If you could be anywhere in the world tomorrow (pretending COVID-19 doesn’t exist), where would you be and why? 

8. How do you define success? 

9. What’s your favorite quote of all time, and why? 

10. If there’s anyone in the world you could spend the day with (fictional, historical, someone you know, anyone at all), who would it be and why? 

[airariaira]

Final Thoughts - 24/04/2020

Here we are, at my very last blog entry... What an experience it has been. Thank you for coming along on this journey with me.

First of all, I would just like to thank NZIIU from the bottom of my heart for giving me this incredible opportunity. This would never ever have happened without all of the help I got from NZIIU. All throughout my exchange, the team at NZIIU was incredble. From their help during the application process, to their clear and helpful instructions and guidance for my travel and arrival, to their answering any questions or concerns I had while on exchange, even to how quickly they arranged my early travel home due to the current pandemic situation. NZIIU are a helpful organisation with a friendly personality, and I’m very glad I chose them to go on exchange with. They made the process of going on exchange a comfortable and very enjoyable one.

I have wanted to go on exchange for most of my time at high school, and decided to finally apply to go at the start of my gap year. My initial desire for going on exchange was fuelled by wanting to improve my French skills and knowledge, and being inspired by others I knew who had already been on an exchange. Another personal reason that I wanted to experience an exchange was because I wanted to have the opportunity to experience a new culture, living like a local, and meet some realy cool new people all the way on the other side of the world. The reason I decided to go on my exchange during my gap year is because I really wanted to be able to focus all my energy into getting the most out of my exchange experience, rather than feeling hung up on grades and school stresses from back home. In hindsight, it may have been nice to utilise my improved French skills in class, but for the most part I am very glad I made this decision. 

I went on exchange to France, and was placed in the beautiful and historic city of Troyes, in the Champagne region. Troyes was a really cool place to have been placed in, and I could not have chosen a cooler place myself. Because Troyes is so close to Paris (just a train ride away) I also had the opportunity to take a few day trips to Paris with my host family, which was so cool - I was very excited to be able to explore a bit of France. School was great, too - it gave me a chance to meet some really cool people who would become my peers, classmates, and friends. It was really awesome being able to speak and learn French with people the same age and in the same classes as me. I also loved having the opportunity to take new classes I hadn’t taken before back home in New Zealand. I was placed in the Litterature (L) stream, which meant I had lots of history and geography, English, Literature, art... And I even had the chance to learn philosophy! Though sometimes I felt pretty out of my depth at school (I didn’t have any French as a second language classes, and only recieved one tour of the campus on my first day in terms of exchange student support), the feeling of independence this gave me did help me feel like just a normal student at school.

One of the best parts of my exchange experience was my incredible host family.I feel so incredibly grateful for them - how they opened up their lives and home to me so that I could have a wonderful exchange experience. They were all lovely and supportive, always helping me to feel included in their family and encouraging me to practice and improve my spoken French at every opportunity. Some of my favourite moments from exchange I would have to say were mealtimes with my host family, sitting around the table and chatting and laughing casually. When I left, I didn’t know how to adequately express how grateful I felt for them in words. I wish I could have had a better opportunity to give them some more nice gifts before I left. Thank you so so much for inviting me into your lives with such open arms!

Now, while an exchange is as a whole an incredible and very rewarding experience, it (like most things in life) wouldn’t be without it’s drawbacks and challenges. I would say some things to be aware of before committing to going on an exchange would be these challenges. One of the main ones would of course be missing out in things back home. Personally, I missed being there for the birth of my half-sister, which was hard but we all decided that it would be okay for me to simply meet her a little later. Some other things one could be missing out on might be more minor things like school, jobs, hangs with friends, etc. But then again, I’d say to that, what good things don’t come with a little sacrifice? Another tough part of exchange for me would have been the language barrier. It was pretty overwhelming at the beginning feeling like everyone around me was speaking French at a million miles a minute and I could barely keep up... I will admit I also made a good number of silly mistakes! It does all get lots better and a whole lot easier with time, though. In addition to that, it can sometimes feel hard to fit into a whole different culture. We might experience some culture shock, or feel a little isolated at times because we come from a different background. However it’s important to remind ourselves that it’s our differences that make us so rad! Having mentioned all of these challenges, though, it’s important we’re not too discouraged from taking the leap and going on exchange - they’re simply challenges, not barriers, and the good parts outweigh the harder parts by far.

One of the best parts of exchange, as I already have mentioned, was the awesome people I had the opportunity to meet and get to know. These included my host family, my classmates, my friends... even other NZIIU exchange students I met through pre-departure orientation. I feel so lucky to have met all of these incredible people, none of whom I likely would have ever had grace my life without my exchange. Another benefit, of course, would be the immense improvement of my French. I feel a lot more comfortable and confident now speaking French than I ever would have been before going to France. I remember on the bus home after my last day of school, one of my classmates said to me how happy she was for me that my French had improved so much. I’m happy for me too! Now, just to maintain the motivation to practice without French being spoken all around me all day every day... (I kid, of course I don’t want to lose the valuable language knowledge and skills I’ve gained). A third incredible benefit of going on exchange would be the great experiences I had and the awesome memories I made. Trying to frantically take notes on Kant in philosophy class, getting confused by the metro system in Paris, goin skiing and falling on my butt many times, going to a local burger restaurant with my host family, getting bubble tea and going to the carnival with friends... The list goes on. I feel so grateful and happy that I was able to gain these amazing experiences, and I will treasure the memories for all time.

Before I finish off this last blog entry, I’d like to give some advice for anyone considering whether an exchange is for them, or anyone about to head off on their big exchange adventure. First of all, if you’re heading to a predominantly non-English speaking country, don’t be too hard on yourself when your language skills aren’t perfect. You’re still learning! It’s okay and completely natural to make mistakes, and you can’t expect yourself to magcally become fluent overnight (or really throughout your exchange, for that matter.) Don’t place your expectations too high, and be kind to yourself. Secondly, I’d like to remind you how important and kind and lovely your host family is! They are there throughout your whole exchange, looking after you, they’ve got your back and they’re providing for you so that you can have the best exchange experience possible. Appreciate them! I would definitely recommend getting them some really nice gifts. I think if I could recommend some gifts to my pre-exchange self, I would say maybe a book or something on native New Zealand birds, and perhaps some famous New Zealand snacks (everyone loves some jaffas or whittakers). Get things that to you really represent you and your Kiwi culture. And don’t stop being grateful for the support of your host family. Next I’d say, write a travel journal! I know for sure that my future self will feel so grateful for me because I wrote not only this blog, but my travel journal too. Having that journal is something special and personal that you will always have to look back on when you want to relive one of the coolest experiences of your life. Speaking of, I’d also say don’t miss any opportunities. Take charge and do anyting and everything you have the chance to do. An exchange is what you make it!

Finally, I’d like to say that I want everyone considering going on exchange to know that it isn’t as big, scary or impossible experience as we sometimes tend to convince ourselves it is. Anyone can do it if they have the desire and motivation to make it happen! It’s so weird to me now, thinking back on how nervous I was to apply to go on exchange, all the scary “what if”s that were floating their ways about my mind. I’d tell that anxious part of me, try to stop thinking “what if...” and instead consider; “why not?” If you want to make an exchange happen for you, why not just do it!?

Thanks again for reading and coming along on this super cool experience with me! This is me signing off. ❤️️

[restorerjourney]

Our last week and a half of outreach!!

 08/19/2021

Sorry for the delay in updating you guys but the past week and a half has been a whirlwind...I feel like I’ve been saying that for every week, but literally this week was as well ^^;;

To summarize last week,

Monday: We did our usual preparation for street evangelism in the evening and asked God to speak to us on what He wanted us to do and who specifically He wanted us to meet. We call it “treasure hunting” when we ask God to highlight or describe whom God want us to meet. It’s been fun and so encouraging to see how we actually get to meet the people that He has described to us and encouraging that we could hear the voice of God. So normally when we get together we all take time to hear the voice and then go around in a circle and briefly share. It’s tedious to be honest and it’s tempting to just be told by the leaders what to do, but it’s SO MUCH better to do it this way because this really builds and unifies our faith as we trust God as our leader. That day we saw us doing soccer with the children, painting nails ministry, and meeting people as we walk down the street..so we divided into groups based on what we individually saw or heard from God. Some of us saw us worshipping with flags beforehand and so we decided to do that before we split into groups. It was so beautiful seeing the sunset and as we sang 3 songs, I danced with the flags. The old Alicia would have been embarrassed to be known as the “flag lady” but honestly it was liberating and I didn’t care what others thought of me. All I wanted was for the people to see through these flags that our group represented the peace and free gift from God. Locals took recording of us and watched us with awe and curiosity which was encouraging to witness. I did nail ministry and me and some of my team members met a group of girls who wanted to their nails done. After we ask them what color they want their nails done, we would share the 5 finger gospel that was represented with each different nail color so that they would remember. We also shared our testimony and I could see the awe and wonder in their eyes. It was their first time hearing the gospel and they all accepted Jesus in their hearts. I could tell some are still questioning it but I do believe and pray in faith that in that moment we invited the Holy spirit to plant seeds and start moving in their lives. 

Side note: In Mexico, because their religion is predominantly Catholicism, many of them get it confused with Christianity. We emphasize and explain that Christianity is not just a religion but a relationship...that it’s not about perfection but knowing Jesus died and rose again despite our weakness and failures...so when we share the gospel to them, they are very receptive to accepting Him and the Holy spirit. What has been really helpful was trying to connect them with a local church or giving them bible which we have been implementing lately. Our desire as team is to not have just converts but disciples of Christ. 

Tuesday morning we did one of the hottest ministries that I’ve experienced in my life..like literally it was so hot that you could cook an egg outside..and on top of that having to wear a KN94 mask and long sleeves so you don’t bit by mosquitoes...what an experience lol. There God spoke and assigned to us what he wanted us to do. Some of us gave food and drink to the families waiting outside of the hospital since no one could go in due to COVID. I was in the evangelism group and we encountered 3 groups of people. One of them was a christian woman who reached out to us to pray for her and her daughter who in labor early. It was encouraging to see her radiant faith and worshipping outside despite the heat for her daughter. There was another man that we met who was outside because his cousin got COVID and was there a lot longer than expected. Yedam, Javi, Yoonkyung and I shared the gospel, prayed for his original design, and encouraged him. Original design prayer is literally what it sounds like. Praying for what God has originally intended and gifted you before you were born. I’ve witnessed and experienced people becoming so much more receptive to the gospel and touched by the Holy spirit through this prayer. In the evening we did our weekly clean up at the base’s cafeteria. This experience is pretty much hard labor with no a/c, washing dishes, mopping the floor and praying that you don’t get bit by mosquitoes.  

Wednesday we did our last bible distribution. We give out about 77 bibles every time we go since we each carry 7 bibles in our backpacks as we walk through neighbors. This time I felt God was gracious to me that everyone received them and when there is no one home, we usually leave it at the door and pray for the home that the family there would know Jesus. We’ve heard stories of people receiving Jesus Christ just by reading His word so it really encourages me that we as our team get to be part of this ministry. After we did ministry preparation for the following ministries this week while eating oreos, mexican snacks, and our one drink we get a day at the cafe. I usually get just iced tea with no sugar. We then went to a local church later in the evening and attended worship and some of us, including myself shared our testimony. I shared my journey of getting my period here in Mazatlan and how this second time really sealed the deal for me that I was healed. Three main points that I shared throughout my testimony was 1) that God loves to see our faith before He shows us His power 2) His ways are so much higher than ours, even when it doesn’t make sense 3) to worship the promise keeper more than the promise. For those who are interested in hearing it, I have a recording that I can send it to you guys!

Thursday we had our weekly campus intercession where we prayed for each other and the different spheres that God has placed us...whether if it’s science, business, arts, family, etc. After we were told for our weekly base cleaning duty to weed the garden at the base. This garden is in between the two sections of the base where there is no shade and weeds everywhere. This was one hurdle that our team had to face weekly because as much as we understand the concept of weeding, it didn’t make sense to us they didn’t spray any weed killer after. Weeding at 12pm in 95 degree weather for an hour is no bueno. However God spoke to me of how similar sin is to weeds and that we need to continually check the gardens in our own heart to prevent these weeds from going rampant. The bigger the weed, the more difficult and work it takes to remove them...because they literally start to look like small trees. After that gruesome afternoon, we found out last minute that we can go to Stone Island for the last time. We had zero expectation that we could ever go since COVID cases were so high there and to protect the people however we got an open door opportunity. There I got to visit the rehabilitation center where it’s mostly people who involuntarily are put there to be rehabilitated from alcohol or drug abuse. I was with a team called BSN which is a secondary school that teaches their students how to teach the bible to others. Every week they visit this center and share a bible study with them. It really encouraged my heart that I got to see the church be a light to this center by sharing to them God’s word. Also every time we go Stone Island we have to take a ferry to get there so it was sad to ride it one last time. Stone Island has been special in my heart because that is where we did our first and last alpha course before the pandemic hit the island really hard. There is a lot of witchcraft and idolatry there as well. There is a part of the island where this is a huge wooden cross but right next to it, there is an animal sacrifice altar for witchcraft. That’s how dark this place is, but we’ve received so many promises over this place that God is going to raise an army of believer particularly children here. I’m so thankful that I got to visit the island one last time before we go. For dinner, we usually go out with some of the ministry leaders and we get to bless them with a free meal and develop a relationship with them. This is crucial to share because before we left for Mazatlan, we heard from the Lord to not only serve the poor but leaders as well. 

Friday afternoon we went to help out at another local church plant that just started but was postponed for awhile due to the pandemic. We helped out by giving out bible tracts on the book of John to the local neighborhood. I was with our translator Alejandro, Dayoung, and Imjae. The highlight for me during that time was when we got to meet a woman name Ilda and her husband to be and how welcoming they were to their home. They are in their late 60′s and although they didn’t have much they were so friendly and welcoming to their humble home. In the late afternoon we went to one of my favorite ministries which is Racham. Racham in Hebrew means “ a touch of compassion” or “to restore”. I shared previously that it is a children’s ministry that is partnered with the government to help abused children get out of the streets and find homes. All the girls there have been raped and all the boys have either done or sold drugs. The age range is 4 to 15-years-old. They are all so sweet and precious and we had such a great time playing games, teaching them how to hear God’s voice on their own original design, and the importance of community. Time flies by so fast when I am with them. 

During the weekend I mostly spent time with people that I would see for the last time in a while. In the morning I ate lunch with my old roomies, did some last minute shopping, and hang out with some of the ywammers here in Mazatlan. One of my favorite memory is going to Sophie’s house and having a girl’s movie night. We got to watch “Coco” which was perfect to watch while being in Mexico. It was so cool to see up close what a life of a long term missionary looked like. And what’s crazy is that they are mostly late teens early twenties. They are all truly brave and I admire their yes to Jesus. 

Sunday...omg was probably the HARDEST TRIAL I’ve experienced coming here in Mazatlan and it’s kinda comical. It was going to one of the local church’s sunday service. Before you judge, let me explain. 90% of the time when we go somewhere new to help out or attend, we have no idea where we are going. We just try our best to prepare. For example, always wear sunblock, and bug repellant because you never know where they might place you and you could be in the middle of the desert with a cloud of mosquitoes because there is a swamp nearby. I’ve gotten used to this always preparing myself as much as possible. When we got there, we find out there are 30-40 people there and the service is outside. I thought “Oh..Lord...”. Thankfully there were fans but it was HOT. And probably not the safest during the pandemic to gather like this, but what can you do? Just gotta walk in faith. So we did not take our KN94 masks off at all and by the end of the service which was almost 3 hours long!, our masks were gross. What was hardest for me was not preparing mentally that this service was going to be so long and while I was sitting there, the pastor had his microphone in full blast, the wind from the fans were blowing in my face giving me a headache, and I was getting hungry. Bad combination. I wanted to fall asleep so bad but had the burden to stay awake because the locals knew we were missionaries! It was like dying to myself and I had to use every once of strength to stay awake despite the heat and humidity. In the end, I felt convicted to never take a/c for granted at church and despite the environment situation, the locals were still worshipping God with everything they had which was inspirational. In the evening we had to out in the hot sun to support a local ywammer that we met who is making a music video and she wanted to use us as actors. As fatigued as we were from the heat, I believe God allowed us to be part of something so powerful through the song that she has written to bless the nations. I can’t wait to see how it turns out!

Monday morning we met with the Stone Island church plant pastor whom we partnered earlier to start an alpha course. We met them to answer any questions they had about alpha before we left and to tie up any loose ends. It was so encouraging to hear their appreciation and how our small obedience to God really bless their ministry and vision. The locals who participated even approached the pastor and asked when the next session was! They will be restarting Alpha again hopefully next month if things are more under control with the pandemic. In the evening we did our last street evangelism which was such a sweet ending. We felt the Lord leading us to go to a popular market place down town and worship there and do a prayer walk while treasure hunting on the way back to the base. God shared with me to find a woman with a small boy who would come up to me. When we worshipped, a lot of the by passers watched and listened to us in awe and wonder. A lot of our team members felt a shift in the atmosphere and it was such a great foundation to start our ministry. I went with Javi, Yoonkyung, and Grace and God graciously showed us all the people we were looking for! One highlight was the woman with the small boy that I saw immediately came up to us after we worshipped and we shared the gospel to them. I could tell her in her eyes she was so blessed and encouraged by her prayers. 

Tuesday we went to the dump ministry which was our last ministry for outreach. We went to the market to prepare the food as usual and this time thankfully didn’t have to climb up to the back of a truck to arrive to the dumpster. Some of us tried to put drops of eucalyptus essential oil on our mask but after 30 seconds it became powerless against the smell of death we faced at the dumpster. To me the smell the second time coming was a lot worse and I almost wanted to puke. It just smelled like death and you just would immediately feel nauseous. That morning however before ministry God spoke to me to find a woman named “ Esmeralda” and to pray for her and tell her how much God loves her. At the dumpster when I was trying not to puke, I asked around if there was an Esmeralda. No one answered. However more people started to line up and I asked again and I found her! There was only one and I got so excited. It’s just so cool and fun to do ministry like this with God and be reassured again that you could hear God’s voice. She didn’t know Jesus so I felt led to share the gospel and my testimony to her. She accepted Jesus and I shared to her how much God loved her and told me to find her this morning. I could tell in her eyes that she was in wonder and awe of who Jesus is. 

Wednesday we went to get our COVID tests done before our flight on Friday. We were kinda nervous because if one of us was positive that person would have to stay behind and quarantine. Praise the Lord we were all negative! I believe it’s because of God’s mercy and grace towards our team and we were so truly grateful that not one of us got COVID during outreach...especially with the number of people we met during ministry. 

Thursday we debriefed, packed, ate our last tacos, and cleaned up. Today is our last full day here and tomorrow we have our flight around 1:30PM. We have two layovers, Phoenix and LA...so we do have some prayer requests.

1) Travel mercies especially for our Korean citizens. They have to go through immigration again to re-enter the states and if they are denied they won’t be to finish remix and will be sent home. Also LA is doing pretty bad with COVID, please pray for protection and smooth transition to Honolulu.

2) Remix: Please pray for us to adjust quickly to our remix session as we will be spending about a month processing all that God has revealed to us..where God will take us...and what He wants to do after DTS. This is what we all have been waiting for really and on top of that, it’s also a lot of emotions because we have become so close as a family. Please pray that we would continue to pursue unity as a team and have many more breakthroughs while we are there. 

Thank you for reading this long summary! There is still so much I have left out but because I gotta pack, I will leave it up to here!

-Alicia

[mrsandok]

Making Sense of Good Things

My heart has been full with nothing but positivity lately.  For myself, my friends, and for what’s to come.  Nevertheless, there’s some serious stress attached to these early days of this new stage in my life.

Ever since taking up Buddhism, it’s been an exercise in learning what makes me happy and what doesn’t.  I’m finally able to begin to articulate what makes me happy and how to maintain it.  There’s definitely some grueling parts of the introspective effort to look at my life when confronting the things I don’t like about myself; nevertheless, it’s healthy to acknowledge and move toward change. 

Stoicism has also helped knowing that I’m not in control of a lot of things in my life and I’ve learned to accept that.  I’ve always sought complete control in different, if not all, parts of my life.  It’s been an active effort to…just…let…things…be.

I’m happy my friends are in a similar place in life with me.  Mayo just got a UX job.  Bryan is settling back in Cali.  Sean is finishing a two year music project.  Taro is settling into his PhD program. And me...

I feel like I’m a new teacher again.  

I went from a 20+ person department to a department of 6.  Not only that, being back in person with a full classroom for the first time since March ‘20 is surreal. 

Students and staff alike are trying to find their footing.  Some are faking the funk saying that they have it handled.  Others, like me, are open with how hard this shit is.

It’s so different.  I dedicated 16 years of my life to English.  

I felt pretty far removed to those 16 years during the first few days.  The class demographics are so different.  I have English learners, different grade levels, a variety of mild to severe students with special needs...with...one...curriculum of art/photography. 

It’s wild.

I want to be selfish and think solely about myself and continue to do my thing like I was doing during summer but I have a job to educate these students and not disappoint their families or the administration that trusted me with this position.

I’m slowly settling in and enjoying the moment for what it is:  Weird and funny while reminding myself that I’m in it for the long haul. 

Summer Sandōk is 290 days away.

Some shit that’s amusing to me:

- I’ve always found it weird to ask another person permission to use the bathroom.  I’m sure it’s weird for them…having been at home for a year and a half back to school and to these rules that a stranger adult imposes on them.

- It took me four days to remember how to do a seating chart!!!  I kept making all these careless errors and confusing students but I wasn’t able to tweak it in a short time so I just ran with it.  I was so used to Google Meet populating an Excel sheet of who was here and who wasn’t.  Now I’m dealing with a bunch of masked students rather than students having their cameras off.  Haha.

No one said this shit was gonna be easy.

I get a bunch of comments saying “at least you won’t be grading essays anymore!”

I smile as a friendly form of agreement hoping it’s a congratulatory expression rather than one coming from envy.

But going back to the story of Buddha…everyone suffers.

Sure—English teachers suffer from the amount of essay grading they have to do.  But we all suffer in our own specific way.  (Poor people suffer because they’re poor / rich people suffer because they’re poor / etc.)

I’m definitely suffering from exiting the pandemic and trying to make sense of my new department and role at the high school.

This time of being nervous, anxious, and exhausted will pass and I’ll be able to work a job that will put me in a better place mentally

As I reflect about my new role, I realize how fucking stressful my job of being an English teacher was.  It took years for me to humble myself and realize school isn’t about me--it’s about reaching the students and getting them to care about themselves, the community, and the world.  That shit is fucking exhausting.

Five years of dealing with Trump’s rhetoric not based in facts in my ELA classroom was mentally taxing.  My job as an educator revolves around creating independent critical thinkers and if what’s dominating the news, social media, and policy was that orange dude--it would have been fucking irresponsible if I ignored it.  Especially in a class focused on rhetoric and logical fallacies.  

I had the blessing of my administration with my approach; nevertheless, I was putting a mark on my back knowing my values are showing on my sleeves and it was prone to parent complains about their child’s commie teacher.

I somehow came out unscathed.  

I attribute it to me making a point that I’m not trying to instill my values on them.  I’m attempting to give them ways to explore who they are rather than blindly listening to their parents and/or tv while telling a story of how I became the person I am today.  

I wrote about that in an earlier post during the pandemic where former students were asking me “how to feel” about the George Floyd protests.

My answer was always a version of “Figure that shit out yourself.  I’m going through it with you.”

That extends to my teaching.  I feel like I have a good understanding of my life  and the story I’m creating for myself and it took years after college.  I hope they’re asking themselves existential questions knowing they’ve watched plenty of people that lived the American Dream get shattered during the pandemic.  

As shitty as it may sound, I feel pretty comfortable keeping up with current events but not necessarily having to tread on thin ice when bringing into the classroom.  

I can definitely incorporate it; however, it’s a much different focus than the head on approach I was doing in English when I compared nonfiction to the fiction we’re reading.

There isn’t any fiction in what we’re doing right now.  I’m more concerned about them getting to the point where they can engage with art criticism as well as create their own art.

This is a comforting feeling knowing that stressful part of my life of trying to make sense of the world in my classroom may be over.  

I don’t necessarily need to bask in my anxiety.  Haha

--

It’s very surreal how I got here.  But, I like to remind myself that I earned it based on my work ethic, pedagogy, and my unwillingness to compromise who i am. 

Some things that are stressing me out is facing one of my favorite mantras head on.

“Don’t assume people share the same values as you.”

Some of these students don’t give a shit about art and may never give a shit about art.  And that’s OK.

My first day spiel revolved around the fact that I’ve been relentlessly chasing my artistic side ever since earning my undergrad.

Art has always made me happy.  It was so silly of me to give it up.

I can’t assume that students will find happiness in art.  That realization somewhat took some of the excitement of my new position away--but at least it’s grounded in reality.

Now I just have to refocus my personal pursuits alongside the “professional” part of my life of being an educator.

---

I had my first lecture concerning the principles of design.  It was such a good feeling knowing that this is pretty much the foundation for the rest of the year.  In fact…it’s the foundation for the rest of my career if I remain a photography teacher.

I’m really excited for what’s to come.  I inherited this program during the perfect time where people have faced changes and challenges head on so they’re receptive to my approach—whatever that approach ends up being.

There are definitely personal goals I’ve applied to myself during this transition that all revolve around the idea of “taking better care of myself.”

--

Aside from my main career, I want to continue to foster the other creative parts in my life.

I want to do a much needed website revamp that gives a nice preview of who I am with links to my mixtapes, photography, art, and writing.

My primary audience is me; however, I do want to model it as my Q4 project to my students which centers around taking control of your online identity and using as a tool to network and be proactive with chasing their goals.

--

I also want to start living a more analog life.

Doom scrolling seems engrained in me at this point—I have to remember how much happier I am when I’m productive and step away from the screen.

Memes, news, and even small talk with instagram friends will always be nice; however, it isn’t everything.

I disabled story replies when I felt my stress and anxiety increasing during my first week at school.  It was so liberating not to deal with distracting small talk.

I still like the idea of adding to my story simply because I enjoy how Instagram archives these moments rather than me flooding my very curated (red) theme. 💅

Engaging with my online audience is fun, too--but only when I’m in a good place to balance it in my personal life.

--

Memes—or any account for that matter—that vie for your attention is frustrating in a meta sense because I don’t want to be part of the giving end of stroking someone’s ego through likes and attention.  

It will always be vacuous.  Some accounts get it, though.  Whitepeoplehumor’s kevin knows the opportunity he was given and is making the best of it without compromising and “selling out” in his own way.

That’s what I want.

I want to sell out in my own way and not have a single person’s opinion about me matter.

Maybe one day.

--

I’m definitely an extrovert that feeds off other people’s energy.  That’s what made me fall in love with DJ’ing and realizing that this is a skill a lot of DJs lack.  A lot of DJs are terrible because they’re not humble and think they have the best taste of music while disregarding the crowd.

But I think I’ve changed during the quarantine.  I don’t necessarily want to please strangers and vibe off their energy.  I’m not sure I care that much.  Haha.

I’ve been reflecting on my life before the pandemic.  I was making $$$ while being able to balance my teaching and DJ life.  However, I’m not sure if that necessarily made me happier.  It allowed me to eat Sugarfish daily and other empty activities like that.  But, during the quarantine, I learned I reallllly liked the opportunity to do nothing on the weekend as a sort spiritual reset.

Weekend obligations definitely serve as a distraction from the stress I face during the week.  I rationalized this as a healthy distraction because it gets me PAID

But…not quite sure if it makes me happy especially since I’m sooo tired of ‘90s hip hop or even being forced to play EDM when I never fucking want to do that.

I wish I could get paid for my twitch sets.  Too bad the (bored) audience with nothing to do and no where to go is back to real life.

I thank the people that enjoyed my twitch sets every chance I get.  It really helped ground me during the pandemic.

In fact, Quarantine Fridays were definitely one of the happiest parts in my life where I was able to connect with friends, new and old, during those trying-ass-times.

It’s surreal to look back at how I spent 1.5 years in this one bedroom apartment with a shitload of plants.  

I’ll do a reflection post on what that meant to me later. <3

[awakeandalive2012]

Changes

I have had this saved in my posts for a long time. It's hard to come out and be vulnerable, but honestly, it's the only thing that is keeping me sane during this tumultuous period of my life. Also I haven't blogged for a bit, so this is just a word dump to help me process everything going on in my life.

I'll admit it: I am the type of person who doesn't easily adjust to change. I won't go into details, but throughout my whole life, it has been hard for me to adjust to life's biggest moments. Going to a jewish pluralistic, co-ed college prep boarding high school, it took me quite a few weeks to properly adjust to my new surroundings and schedule. Going to college, again, took me some time to adjust to being on a big campus and find out who I was. Making the big move back to LA, working in the entertainment industry, and then making the long trek back to the east coast again, took some time. And as I am writing this, I still feel like it was a just a fleeting memory, as if I have to ask "did this really happen?". Changes usually bring new beginnings and exciting things ahead. And yet, some changes don't lead to anything. Years later, and I still sometimes question who I am and where I am going to end up in life.

This year is no exception. There have been plenty of moments that have occurred, where I am still getting adjusted to what has occurred. I am proud of the accomplishments and how I have adjusted to these huge moments. Now I can sit back and properly reflect.

My Wedding

I am married. Married. I never imagined myself to be saying that out loud. Every time I look down at my left hand and see two rings adorning my finger, it sparks a joy that I am married to an amazing man who makes me happy, who makes me laugh, who comforts me in my lowest of lows. Our wedding was beautiful, surrounded by our closet family and friends (super intimate ceremony) and celebrating our love. It was one of the best days of my life. Everything played out perfectly and everyone had a great time. After all those months of planning and having it culminate into one special day was worth it and I would relive it every day if I could. I look back at my photos and watch the videos only to smile because it happened. I wouldn't change it for the world.

But Nicole, what happens after happily ever after? The wedding is only the beginning of an incredible journey that you and your significant other take together. Changing my last name is typically the first step in post-wedding life for any bride. Changing your name itself is riddled with anxiety. I have had a to-do list for post wedding items sitting on my computer and it has been left unread for months. However, because of the pandemic, the SSA is not open so I can't even begin to adjust to the fact that I no longer identify as a "Goldstein". I immediately changed my name via social media but it's not the same satisfaction; albeit, leaving me with a temporary sense of accomplishment. I still have work to do with that, but for now I am happy just to be able to spend the rest of my life with a man I love. I am enjoying every moment from cooking and cleaning together to hanging out on weekends and spending time with the man I love.

My Job

Once upon a time, I graduated from college in 2016, made the big move out to LA and pursued the Hollywood dream. I didn't even make it halfway up the ladder when I decided to move back home (it was more for personal reasons as to why I left, but it's part of it). I knew that I was taking a big risk moving back to a place where the entertainment industry was not as prevalent. Even though I landed a part time job a few short months later, it is not enough for me to be fully satisfied. Let me be clear; I am grateful for my job at the present time, as many people are not so lucky. I was lucky to have gotten unemployment for as long as I did. I am extremely lucky to have a strong loving support system, who have been consistently patient and offer great advice. I am one of the lucky ones.

What I keep thinking about and the thought that keeps me up at night: Why am I not good enough to land a full time job? I have the experience. I have the drive. But nothing. I have seen seas of "thank you for your interest, but we will not be moving on with your application", I barely make the interview stage, and have yet to see an offer from anything. I have applied to jobs I was perfect for, over qualified for, even took a chance on those jobs that were out of my reach or I was under qualified for. I cannot remember a day within these last two years that I did not feel the slightest bit anxious/upset about finding a job.

As of late, I had the thought of potentially going back to school. But that leads me down different thought processes. What am I going to study? I wanted to pursue theatre and I got rejected three times, which does a number on the psyche. I got into the media arts program, graduated, and flew out to pursue a job in my desired industry. After nearly four years, and hardly any progression, with no prospects of moving on up, I left to get a fresh start. Now what? Starting over again? What do I do? What else am I good at? What do I enjoy doing? All of these questions drive me crazy and sometimes, more often than not, to tears. It honestly sucks.

My POV on World Events

There is plenty to discuss here, but the main world issue that I want to highlight is the ongoing global COVID 19 pandemic. Overall thought; this pandemic is far from over and we all have to contribute/work together to end this. Wear a mask (if required in your state/city, etc), wash your hands, stay 6 ft apart, and follow the laws. I was just getting over the hump that is the original COVID-19. I even remember in April 2020 that we were forced into quarantine and our daily lives were forever interrupted. As COVID spread, and the race for the vaccine began, I grew fearful of catching COVID. I did not want to endanger my family, my friends, my loved ones. Worse of all, I didn't want to get sick and die even when I was following all the protocols. When I moved back, I quarantined for two weeks when I got back before I went to Virginia. Over the next year and a half, I wore my mask. I kept my eyes and ears open for new developments and certified research. Finally, when we got vaccinated, I felt a brick lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe again. Now, in mid 2021, we have another variant to worry about? Come on! I was just getting used to wearing masks everywhere, even considering not wearing a mask again. I have been wearing masks everywhere regardless, I have been furiously washing my hands and sanitizing. Most places around us are mask optional at this point, but I am still worried about getting weird looks from people. I am anxious enough as it is with everything going on in my life, but now I have to bend to the will of complete strangers point of views on me wearing a mask or not. When can we resume our normal life? What is even normalcy anymore? It just makes my head spin trying to keep up and adapt.

All of these big changes that have occurred in my life has challenged me to my very core. It's hard to adjust and sometimes has me broken. However, I stick to my mantra to help me through every day: keep going. So, if you are like me, anxious and feeling ever stressed about life and the changes that come about from it, keep going. Let's walk this trail to the unknown together.

[aion-rsa]

The Mysterious Benedict Society: Bringing the Middle Grade Mystery Series to TV

https://ift.tt/3cZFTyo

This article contains spoilers for the first two episodes of The Mysterious Benedict Society plus teasers for future episodes. There are no book spoilers beyond the plots featured in the first two episodes.

The Mysterious Benedict Society is not only Disney+’s latest television series, it’s one of the streamer’s noteworthy original TV projects outside the massive Marvel and Star Wars franchises… But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a source material. The series is based on the bestselling middle grade book series by Trenton Lee Stewart. Stewart first published The Mysterious Benedict Society in 2007, which means the original readers are now adults and even parents themselves. (I myself discovered the series while working in summer camp and after school a year or two after publication.) The series was in development hell for over a decade before Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi joined the project in 2017. Den of Geek talked to showrunners Hay and Manfredi, who previously worked on AEon Flux and the Ride Along movie series together, to discuss the behind the scenes of translating this middle grade mystery adventure to the silver streaming screen.    

“We were aware of the book when we were brought them, and read the first one and just fell in love,” Manfredi tells Den of Geek. The most important example of this love comes through in novel series author Stewart signing on as consulting producer on the series. Several other middle grade books from the mid 2000’s, most notably the Percy Jackson movies, were reduced to in-name-only movie adaptations that butchered the essence of the stories, due to authors having no input on the adaptation. 

“We talked to him very early in the adaptation process, got to know him,” Hay says. ”Then as the show went along, he read all the scripts, he saw the cuts…whenever he had an idea, it obviously rang a lot of bells for us… and, it was just very important to us that he be pleased and like it.” 

The series follows Mr. Benedict (Tony Hale), a scientist living in an alternate universe who is very concerned that the world’s increased anxiety, called The Emergency, is not, in fact, the organic result of social politics, but rather is being orchestrated by someone outside the government. There are subliminal messages about The Emergency broadcast across the media and adults have accepted these messages as truth. Kids are naturally more curious and at times confrontational about accepting authority and fate. Although Mr. Benedict has two extremely capable assistants in Rhonda Kazembe (MaameYaa Boafo) and Number 2 (Kristen Schaal); he needs children to infiltrate the educational institute from which the messages about The Emergency  originate. After a series of rigorous tests, he assembles a team of four extremely smart orphans to infiltrate and to find the person responsible. Renard “Reynie” Muldoon (Mystic Inscho) is a master puzzle solver, George “Sticky” Washington (Seth Carr) is a trivia champion, Kate Weatherall (Emmy DeOlivera) is a budding engineer and meteorologist, and Constance Contraire (Marta Kessler) is a social rebel who needs a cause to properly apply her truth-seeking instincts. The mission is going to test not only their skills but also their stamina to resist the subliminal messaging. The title of the series comes from the team name the children give themselves. 

Although the adventure elements are clearly targeted towards today’s preteens, the political undertones of the story are definitely going to be the element that appeals to adults who haven’t read the novel series. “The book feels prescient,” Hay says. “I double-checked the copyright page when I was reading it because it just seemed that the themes were so resonant and relevant to today.” This theme adds depth and immediacy to the children’s mission. Adults will immediately recognize current politics in this alternate universe where the language of The Emergency is the language of misinformation.  

Kids are also affected by the political situation around them and this renders the plot of The Mysterious Benedict Society relatable.  “We have kids thinking of the way they’ve experienced the recent past as a relentless tide of anxiety, and how do we get to the bottom of that and how do we find ways to contend with it?” Hay says. “I think the message of the show in a way, is through getting to the truth and through finding the truth and then also through addressing others with care and with empathy and with kindness, and those things coalesced to be the bedrock of what we think the show is about.” Although some may feel uneasy about a dystopian alternate universe as escapist entertainment especially for children, there is hope and a solution embedded into the mission. The audience naturally roots for Mr. Benedict and his team triumph over evil. 

Bringing the alternate universe of Stonetown and its environs to life from Stewart’s imagination presented several challenges for Hay and Manfredi. Shooting eight, hour-long episodes during the pandemic added considerable complexity to the project. “We had such an incredible team in Vancouver led by Grace Gilroy, our line producer, and the dedication of the cast and crew, which was extraordinary to keep each other safe and healthy and follow the protocols to the T all of which happened,” Hay says. “Every day when you’re shooting in that condition is seen as a gift, and you are just really reliant on everybody, every single member of the cast and crew to be vigilant and they were, and that’s something that is extremely inspiring.”

Another obstacle was reconciling viewers’ imaginations and the illustrations in the novels with the screen. “I imagined [the novel as] a bit more Gothic or Victorian, and partially just because it worked with the themes for us and partially because we thought a lot of other things have explored that visual landscape,” Hay says. “[We] settled on this idea that this could be told in a sixties, European modernist kind of vibe, where things are very organized and formal.”

That mention of other things exploring “a Victorian landscape” is an illusion to Netflix’s series adaptation of A Series of Unfortunate Events. Most adult viewers new to the series will likely make that comparison, since both series revolve around orphans fighting eccentric adult villains in a dystopian alternate universe. However, the first two episodes of The Mysterious Benedict Society make it clear that the main characters are fighting evil on the societal level versus an inheritance fraud conspiracy one. 

Read more

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A Series Of Unfortunate Events Season 3 Review: The Best One Yet

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A Series Of Unfortunate Events Review (Spoiler-Free)

By Gabriel Bergmoser

Ironically, Tony Hale directly links the two series. He played Jerome Squalor in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and ended up being the top choice to lead The Mysterious Benedict Society. “We were such fans of Tony, and every role he’s done becomes an iconic thing,” Manfredi says. “He’s just so funny, and he had such a soulfulness to him and intelligence and compassion to him that he just kind of ticked all the boxes.” Hay added, “In the book, the character is reasonably a bit older. It’s more of a practical grandfatherly character than a fatherly character.” Mr. Benedict in the series is still eccentric, epilectic and tireless in his quest to right the wrongs in his world. At the end of Episode 2, the audience realizes Hale is pulling double duty in the series. He plays the sketchy institute headmaster and series villain L.P. Curtain. “We always saw it as a dual role, and that’s why somebody who is as versatile as Tony was, was so appealing to us,” Manfredi says. Novel readers know Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain are twin brothers. Hale makes a strong impression as Mr. Benedict in his introduction, and the challenge for the kids to figure out Mr. Curtain begins. 

Along with the set design and Catherine Adair’s (recently known for costuming The Man In The High Castle and Fate: The Winx Saga) vintage kitschy costumes, casting is also a key part of distinguishing The Mysterious Benedict Society from other series. Reynie, Sticky, Kate and Constance in the books were characters not only defined by their intelligence but also for their innate sense of the truth in an uncertain world. “When we were casting with the kids, it was important to us to find old souls.” Manfredi said.  

One of the most appealing factors to me as a reader over a decade ago was how Stewart’s vision of Stonetown had diverse representation built into the story. On the other hand, the adaptation of A Series of Unfortunate Events used raceblind casting to offset the white main characters Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) originally described. Episode 1 of The Mysterious Benedict Society brings this to the screen by introducing Reynie as a Latine boy learning Tamil from his teacher Miss Perumal (Gia Sandhu). “We were very, throughout the process really, really focused on diversity and inclusion in the cast, Hay says. “We were really hoping to find a diverse Reynie and Sticky … We wanted Sticky to be an African-American actor.” Although racism in the world of Stonetown works slightly differently than in ours, neither character is isolated from others who look like them. 

One of the kids had an unintentional shift in their heritage. “In the book, Constance Contraire is not Russian, but when we saw Marta’s audition, she illuminated parts of the character for us, and we all of a sudden just couldn’t see her any other way,” Manfredi says. Fans should be reassured despite this accent shift Constance in the first two episodes is still the obstinate, headstrong, and full of haterade little girl readers know and love.

This vision was also carried out in the casting of the adult characters in the series. “Rhonda Kazembe is such a huge part of the book and of the show, even a bigger part of the show than the book,” Hay says.  “To find MaameYaa was such a gift, but yeah, that was really on top of our mind, and then throughout the rest of the show, again, from the perspective of wanting the show to look like the world and seeing it as an opportunity to really create a world that does reflect the world around us.” In order to fulfill this objective, a shift in the storytelling was required. In the novel, once the kids arrive at the mysterious island institute, all of the action revolves around the children. “It was important to us to keep the adults involved, to create a kind of parallel storyline to have that back and forth with the kids and the adults and learn from each other along the way, and solve the mystery together.” Manfredi says.

What can viewers expect from the remaining six episodes? Stopping Mr. Curtain’s evil propaganda campaign is the conclusion the series is leading to. “We hope that over the course of the season, there’s going to be a lot of twists and turns and hopefully it’ll be a lot of fun,” Manfredi says. “[Hopefully] these themes of empathy and the importance of truth and being able to look at a problem in many different ways…[will] resonate, and hopefully they have fun with it.” 

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There are three books total in the series, plus a prequel about Mr. Benedict, but the fate of the series is out of the hands of Hay and Manfredi. For those who want to see the series continue, word of mouth online and offline will be key to get middle schoolers to watch and for adults to sign onto a nostalgia trip.  The first two episodes of The Mysterious Benedict Society will be available on Disney + on June 25th followed by one new episode every Friday.

The post The Mysterious Benedict Society: Bringing the Middle Grade Mystery Series to TV appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3d2YbP4

[world365]

Real Marijuana Online

Is weed unexpected now in comparison to 50 years prior? What guardians and grandparents need to think about pot today.

THC mixed confections and treats are showcased to youth and are a risk to small kids who can discover them and accidentally glut. A colossal expansion in pediatric trauma center visits has happened in territories that have THC treats.

Accessible free of charge to instructors, this pack incorporates booklets, recordings, exercise plans, <Real Marijuana Online> and banners for use in schools or after school programs.

It's not the 'pot' of the 1960's. 'The Truth About Marijuana' free booklet gives important data for instructors, youth, guardians and grandparents.

There are numerous fantasies out there about weed thus much promotion that individuals don't understand, particularly about the maryjane of today. Individuals need to do research and discover reality with regards to maryjane. — Thalia Ghiglia, Foundation for a Drug-Free World DC Faith liaisonWASHINGTON, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA, UNITED STATES, April 28, 2021/EINPresswire.com/ - When finding out about sporting maryjane use and edibles like confections and treats bound with THC (the dynamic synthetic in weed), what isn't normally revealed is that the present cannabis is 20 to multiple times more grounded than that smoked at Woodstock in 1969. This can cause potentially negative side-effects for both knowing and accidental clients.

The free booklet 'The Truth About Marijuana' clarifies the impacts of the present maryjane, particularly its fundamental psychoactive fixing, THC or tetrahydrocannabinol, and what it means for individuals utilizing it in edibles and different structures.

The pot sold during the 1970s found the middle value of 1% THC, while the present weed midpoints 20-30% THC. Also, high-intensity arrangements of weed are particularly perilous as they can contain up to and more than 95% THC. These have even been related with power outages, visualizations, and psychosis. You could consider it the distinction in power between 95% grain liquor and 1% close to brew.

This expanded intensity and the way that they seem as though confections and treats can cause accidental excesses in youth. A new report showed that part of the way because of expanded accessibility and strength of THC in maryjane and THC-bound sweets, there was a 27% yearly expansion in kids going to medical clinic trauma centers from 2009 to 2017. Preceding 2009 there was no expansion in the trauma center visits for weed issues. This is a risk with the expanded strength of THC that guardians and even specialists are regularly ignorant of.

'Individuals need to teach themselves. There are numerous legends out there about pot thus much promotion that individuals don't understand, particularly about the maryjane of today. Individuals need to do research and discover reality with regards to cannabis for themselves,' said Thalia Ghiglia, Drug-Free World DC's confidence contact. 'Shockingly, the pandemic has squeezed individuals – and that has made them powerless against utilizing medications, and pot is directly at the first spot on that list. Instruction is so significant at this moment.'

A free booklet and a free online course are accessible from drugfreeworld.org to instruct individuals on realities about maryjane and THC-bound treats. The booklet addresses examines authentically regarding the expected hurtful impacts so perusers can make up their own personalities about maryjane. As per the booklet, 'Cannabis is quite possibly the most manhandled drugs on the planet. There is a consistently developing hole between the most recent science about cannabis and the legends encompassing it. A few group imagine that since it is legitimate in certain spots, it should be protected. Be that as it may, your body doesn't have a clue about a lawful medication from an illicit medication. It just knows the impact the medication makes whenever you have taken it. The motivation behind this distribution is to clear up a portion of the errors about pot.'

With more states legitimizing sporting utilization of pot, it is significant for residents to have the full story and to comprehend the critical expansion in THC and psychoactive synthetic substances in the present changed maryjane.

The Foundation for a Drug-Free World DC (DFW DC) has conveyed preparing courses dependent on the Truth About Drugs materials to youth bunches just as youth engaged with the criminal equity framework to teach them on the risks and impacts of weed and different medications.

DFW DC has likewise prepared gatherings of seniors who didn't know about the genuine threats that can emerge out of utilizing maryjane, especially by teenagers and youth. The medication can make harm youth, whose cerebrums are as yet creating, that can impair them in correlation with their friends. The seniors were grateful for the data and have been imparting this to their grandchildren.

A full instructor's bundle containing useful apparatuses to edify youngsters about substance misuse is accessible to educators. You can get your free materials at .

The Foundation for a Drug-Free World is a philanthropic public advantage company that enables youth and grown-ups with authentic data about drugs so they can settle on educated choices and live medication free.

Establishment for a Drug-Free World materials are being used by a huge number of schools and more than 800 law implementation offices all throughout the planet.

Legitimate Disclaimer:MENAFN gives the data "with no guarantees" without guarantee of any sort. We don't acknowledge any duty or responsibility for the exactness, content, pictures, recordings, licenses, fulfillment, legitimateness, or dependability of the data contained in this article. In the event that you have any grievances or copyright issues identified with this article, compassionately contact the supplier above.

Kafer: Stop with the glorification of maryjane — youthful Coloradans are tuning in

"Do you understand what today is?" a 13-year-old proclaimed during science class. "It's 4/20 and you understand what that implies." Several young men gestured and laughed. "Definitely, THC is cool," said another understudy. At the point when I proposed something else, an understudy commented, "It's superior to drinking."

Happy to hear kids today have disguised the maryjane business' showcasing material since that is actually what receptive and weak eighth graders need — the glorification of cannabis. So credit to the Colorado state government for enhancing the "THC is cool" message a week ago.

These young men could be headed to a strong propensity instantly. The normal age of the main toke in Colorado is 14 years of age. As per the 2019 Healthy Kids Colorado Survey, 11% of 12-and 13-year-olds and 20% of children more than 14 had attempted weed. The review discovered use was higher among metropolitan, minority youth.

A few children will smoke a couple of times and proceed onward, however others will become ongoing clients. Ongoing use during the youngster years could be related with diminished IQ in adulthood, a deficiency of however much eight IQ focuses was noted in an investigation distributed in 2012 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Juvenile utilization of cannabis has additionally been connected to mental issues including expanded sadness and tension. I suspect, given the still restricted examination on the impacts of long haul ongoing weed use among adolescents, that in the event that you drew a Venn graph of successful school or profession bound secondary school graduates and constant teenager pot clients and there wouldn't be a lot of a cover.

Next time you drive past a pot shop with a line out front, check who's in the line. Certainly, there are generally calm end of the week pot smokers yet they're not the ones trusting that the store will open on a freezing February morning. Information back this up: grown-up pot use is more normal among lower-pay men with poor instructive fulfillment, as indicated by the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment.

Weed doesn't simply affect the mind; the smoke hurts the respiratory arrangement of clients and observers through used smoke. Sadly, similar to the understudies in my group, dreadfully numerous children see regular cannabis use as no biggie. Just 61% of understudies 14 and more established in the Healthy Kids Survey accept individuals who use pot routinely face a moderate or extraordinary danger of damage.

Notwithstanding the effect on the psychological and actual wellbeing of youngsters and grown-ups, the cannabis business negatively affects the soundness of the climate. A Colorado State University study tracked down that indoor weed develops represent 1.3% of the state's all out ozone harming substance emanations, an offer like that of coal mining (1.8%).

Do the financial and duty income advantages of the maryjane exchange exceed the wellbeing and ecological expenses? Difficult to say. Is there worth to allowing grown-ups to figure out what they need to devour? Maybe. In any case, pot is legitimate in Colorado and there's no returning that genie to the container.

However, in light of the fact that something is legitimate doesn't mean it ought to be praised. That is exactly what the state government did for this present week. On April 20, the state sold 14 maryjane themed tags with words like BONG, GANJA, and STASH. The most elevated bid, no play on words planned, went to ISIT420. Cash raised will add to programs that help Coloradans with handicaps, a commendable objective and no uncertainty the motivation behind why the lead representative cheered the bartering.

Colorado Disability Funding Committee

A Colorado permit "ISIT420" is one of a few available to be purchased through the Colorado Disability Funding Committee. The public closeout goes through April 20. Starting at Tuesday morning, the most noteworthy bid for this plate is $6,440.

In any case, should the state government truly be praising medication use? In case we will advance weed utilization on tags we should put the state's imprimatur on different propensities like cigarette smoking, biting tobacco, and becoming inebriated.

[econ23econlive]

Substance Abuse and Addiction during the Pandemic

Substance Abuse and Addiction during the Pandemic

Addiction is a plague to our modern society. Whether that be drugs, alcohol, nicotine, sex, video games, etc. most people have a habit they are struggling to break. We become dependent on these things for pleasure, or to simply help us through our daily lives. The main causes to drug use in particular, are depression and boredom. Depression itself also has many causes. It can be clinical, and purely based on the imbalance of chemicals in ones brain. It can be situational, which means it is based on a circumstance that brings a lot of emotional pain, such as the loss of a loved one or a bad break up. This is typically temporary. It can also be developed due to childhood trauma, whether that be physical or mental trauma. All these causes of depression, however serious, are mostly treatable. Whether that be through therapy, anti-depressants, or both, depression is largely treatable in the modern age. Boredom, the other cause of substance abuse, is obviously very treatable comparted to depression. Boredom can simply be fixed by entertaining the mind. Whether that be going out with friends, playing sports, or working, boredom is relatively treatable, and largely less serious than depression. Those who are depressed turn to something comforting, something that makes them temporarily feel uplifted. This is typically drugs, alcohol, and sex. While both alcohol and sex are not wrong or illegal, they should be exercised in moderation. Having too much sex can make you dependent on it for pleasure in your daily life a study by addictioncenter.com states. And obviously, too much alcohol can make you an alcoholic. Those who are bored typically turn to other simpler and less dangerous ways to entertain their brains, but in some cases they turn to drugs, alcohol, and sex to fascinate them throughout the day.

Economics of Drugs

Just like any society, there is an illegal side of the economy. Just because illegal drugs are not taxed and not considered for a nations GDP (at least not Americas), does not mean there is not an economy behind it. The drug market is largely elastic. This is due to their addictive nature, and there not being many close substitutes. For instance, let’s say Jack and Sally are addicted to heroin. Jack and Sally are so dependent on heroin, that even if prices double, they would still find a way to get the heroin.  This defines an inelastic demand; as prices rise demand does not decrease at the same rate, or even relatively close to the same rate. Alcohol on the other hand is much more elastic. This is not due to how much less addictive alcohol is, as it is still extremely addictive, but to how many close substitutes there are. There are many types of alcohol, and as it is legal to consume, there are also many brands and sellers. This means if one alcohol brand raises its price, it is likely a consumer will purchase a different brand, making alcohol largely elastic.

 How the pandemic has Affected Drug Users

The pandemic has taken its toll on most of us, but it has particularly affected those of us who are extroverts. One study from The Dunes back in 2019 stated that the majority of drug abusers would classify themselves as introverts (at least when not high). Introverted people do not prefer much human contact, so naturally the shutting of the economy and schools did not affect them as much as the rest of the population. A poll from Washington Post back in May 2020, stated that boredom and depression were the two main ideas people complained about when stuck in quarantine. Naturally, this caused drug and substance abuse to skyrocket. One thing I found particularly interesting that was not mentioned in the study is who was taking these drugs. Those who were already substance abusers did not increase the quantity of drugs they purchased, rather the rise in quantity of drugs sold was due to a large increase in customers. This is likely due to extroverts, who now could not have a social life, turning to drugs.

 How the Pandemic has affected Drug Economics

This change in demand for illegal substances not only affected society, but also the illicit economy. Drugs for the most part, has a fixed supply curve. Given that there is a domestic and international drug trade in America, there are multiple sources for drugs. International trade is very risky, and therefore there is typically not much fluctuation in the amount of drugs entering America. As seen in the Narcos documentary (which took place decades ago) as well as documentaries that take place in a slightly more modern time, the majority of drugs enter America on only a few fronts, and there is a finite amount entering on a monthly basis. As for the domestic drugs, they are typically produced in a lab. It is unlikely the increase in demand would cause a large increase in the supply, as the majority of people that would accept the drug dealer lifestyle, already have. Not many people will pull a Walter White and make their own meth to sell. As a result, the increase in demand will instead cause the price of drugs to increase without an increase in supply. This has made drugs a slightly rarer resource, causing people to seek it out all the more, given its inelastic demand. This is causing money to leave the hands of people already struggling during the pandemic, and money being received by those who were already making a huge profit prior to the pandemic. Not only are we in the midst of the pandemic that is covid-19, but we as America are experiencing another pandemic altogether; substance abuse

 How this has Affected me Personally

I have never been a drug user. I occasionally will have a beer with friends, however never let my brain reach a drunken state. When the pandemic hit, I lost contact with a lot of friends. For months on end, I was unable to see anyone, which led to incredible boredom. At one point, I went four weeks without any human contact besides my roommates and the grocer. I am extremely extroverted and value my social life heavily. This boredom was new to me and I did not really know how to handle it. I tried playing video games, watching a new TV show, and picking up guitar. None of those tasks really stuck, as they were not real human contact. Gradually this boredom morphed into depression. Every day was the same, and it seemed like I was going nowhere. I was working hard in school, but due to the nature of online learning, I felt like I was retaining very little knowledge. As a coping mechanism I turned to drugs and alcohol in order to feel some sense of pleasure and accomplishment. This made me feel better temporarily, however left me in an even worse state when I was sober. Eventually I became dependent on the drugs and alcohol to even get me through the day. That was this fall. Since then, I have been able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and stopped substance abuse altogether. This did however not fix the greater problem at hand, the lack of social interaction. Covid-19 has taken its toll on us all, and it affected me in this way. I really hope those in our government begin to realize the mental toll this lockdown has taken on the people and strive to open the economy back up. Obviously, they need to do this in a safe way, however taking away peoples social life, takes away a part of what makes us human, and can lead us to do things we’d never dream of doing.

 Timothy Boshaw

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