[The OT4 are snooping into someone's office]
Malcolm: We should be careful! What if we tumble onto something that we shouldn't, like inappropiate portraits of his wife?
Henry: Why would he do that?
Prim: Would you like some of those of me, love?
Mal, blushing: No! ...Yes! Uh– *stammers* let's just focus on the mission!
Elian: I wouldn't mind one
Henry: Not the time, Elian
Sue me wksbksksjs @gaygryffindorgal @potionboy3
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Henry: I wasn’t THAT drunk last night
Prim: You were flirting with Elian.
Henry: So? He’s my boyfriend.
Prim: You asked him if he was single
Prim: And then cried when he said he wasn’t.
prim by @endlessly-cursed
elian by @potionboy3
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MC: *angry, with their wand pointed at Sebastian* get on your knees.
Sebastian: *gets on his knees* *pulls a ring out*
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Garreth: Would you fancy going on a date with me?
Seb: *passing by* Did I just hear you ask Ominis out on a date?
Ominis: He’s practicing so he can ask mc out tonight.
Seb: But I’m supposed to be asking mc out tonight…
Garreth & Seb: *both staring at each other in realization before taking off running towards the library*
Seb: I’m going to ask first!
Ominis: *sighs* You idiots are going to end up in detention tonight instead of on a date.
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*the Emerald trio leaving Transfiguration class together*
Sebastian: Say….if I were to be transfigured into a fly, what would you do?
Ominis: You wouldn’t be much different than you are now, so I’d leave you be.
Sebastian: Boring. Gwen, what say you?
Gwen: I’d trap you in a jar and let my cats play with you.
Sebastian: That’s not very cutesy OR demure of you, Gwendolen.
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Ominis, softly chuckling: So you both are still virgins?
MC: As if that makes us lesser then you.
Ominis, smirking: It does, sex changes a man.
MC, with an exciting expression: It was Anne wasn't it?!
Ominis, eyes wide in shock: Maybe.
MC, grabbing Sebastian by the robe and shaking him: I fucking knew it!
Sebastian:
Ominis: Why are you so excited about this?
MC, doing a lil happy dance: This moron just lost the bet we had and thus has to do all my history of magic coursework for the rest of the year.
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Sebastian and MC: *Making their way through a loyalist camp*
MC: Sebastian, we need a plan of attack.
Sebastian: I have a plan. Attack.
Sebastian: *Runs ahead and starts blowing things up and setting everything on fire*
MC: 👁👄👁
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Garreth: I'm pretty confident my last words will be "well, shit, that didn't work"
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(Leander and MC squaring up for a duel in Defense Against the Dark Arts)
Leander: *condescending* I almost feel bad trying to duel you, MC… You’re so inexperienced, so innocent
MC: *laughs, then narrows eyes* Try me, you built-like-a-bowtruckle-bitch
MC: *proceeds to whoop Leander’s ass in the duel*
Sebastian: *cheering way too loudly* THAT’S MY GIRL!!!
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Lucie: My love, do you want a quickie?
Thane: Wh- excuse me?!
Lucie: You know, that dish with eggs and all...
Thane: It's pronounced quische, Luce!
@potionboy3 Thane's face would be priceless wkhsnsns
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after this post i made i simply had to.
tagging @endlessly-cursed and @camillejeaneshphm come collect eddie because his dad is bullying him
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Sebastian: Why would I listen to you? anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid
Ominis: Sebastian Sallow
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Currently writing some dark toned 7th year Hogwarts drama, but my brain keeps giving me dumb jokes.
I`ll share this episode before redacting it from tumblr lol gags to something proper.
Setting: Truth or Dare in Slytherin common room. Special guest Sammy Dale. Game is enchanted so it has to be The Truth, that's why very few people play it. Because it`s SCANDALOUS.
With MC joining the game current line up was: MC, Sebastian Sallow, Violet McDowell, Ominis Gaunt, Samantha Dale.
Since MC were the last one to join they had to do a truth or dare.
MC: Truth
Violet: Kiss/marry/kill. Imelda Reyes, Sebastian Sallow, Garreth Weasley
MC: That’s easy. Obviously, marry Imelda, kiss Garreth and kill Sebastian
Sebastian places his palm on his chest, offended: Wow. To kiss Weasley and kill me, really?
MC: I said what I said.
Ok, Sebs?
Sebastian: Dare
MC: I dare you get slapped in the face by someone of your choice
Ominis: That's kinky
Sebastian chooses Samantha, mumbling something about her being less of a bitch then other people out here. Gets smacked, everyone wooes
MC: You liked it, I bet, lol
Sebastian: Shut up.
Violet?
Violet: Truth
Sebastian: Have you ever fantasized about someone in that circle?
Violet: Um.. Yeah
Everyone: OOOoOOOOh
Violet: Ominis?
Ominis: Truth
Violet: Would you marry a mudblood?
Ominis: I would if I could, if that makes sense.
MC?
MC: Truth
Ominis: Your darkest fear?
MC: Dull, forgettable life. Gives me chills, fr
Sam?
Samantha: Truth
MC: Love or power?
Samantha: Power, obviously
Everyone pretty surprised bc she is not a Slytherin.
MC smiles: I was curious
Samantha: Ominis
Ominis: Dare
Samantha: I dare you to kiss the most beautiful person in this circle, on the lips
Everybody looks at her with a question, like "bitch, he blind"
Samantha explains: Well, I think that his notion of beauty is the most interesting one, because it's not just about a pretty face!
Sebastian: That actually really smart.
MC: Right, playing with a Ravenclaw got some spice. Not just those basic mudblood\power questions.
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MC and Sebastian after killing a camp full of Dark Wizards while using the Unforgivable Curses.
MC: I don't understand why they're still called Unforgivables for people like us. Why seek forgiveness when we aren't doing anything wrong.
Sebastian: Exactly. What's unjust about killing evil people.
MC, nodding in agreement.
Sebastian: Now if only we could explain that to Ominis.
MC: I've tried. He ended up saying something about "not needing to be able to see to know I'm going down the wrong path" or some shit.
Sebastian, playfully smacking MC in the shoulder: He said that to me once too! Maybe we are truly kindred spirits.
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