#hulk smash bathroom

[gameraboy2]

The Incredible Hulk (1977), "747"

[marlynnofmany]

Faceoff

Ever get cognitive whiplash going from one group of aliens to another? You’d think I’d be used to the variety since I’ve spent so much time bopping around the galaxy, but some things just catch you by surprise.

It was a simple difference. I’d been talking with my smallest crewmates while we walked into the space station, trying not to loom over anybody or step on a tentacle in close quarters. The hallway between our corner of the docks and the central concourse was a narrow one. Then Coals realized he’d left something on the ship, and Paint volunteered to go back with him to help find it, and Mimi took a side corridor off to the public bathrooms, with a comment about checking how the local mechanics handled sanitization fields.

It’s possible that he even meant that. As long as he didn’t steal any parts for our ship, I was more than happy to let the octopus alien’s bathroom time be his own business.

I was thinking that, still slouching a bit after waving goodbye to Paint, when I turned a corner and was suddenly the smallest person around.

Hulking shapes in scales and space suits filled my vision, clustered near the entrance with no way to see past, much less wriggle by. I hadn’t heard the voices over the chatter of the crowd that had to be out there somewhere, and the ambient music. (Something with drums. Much better than the leg-singing screeches from the last station we visited. At any rate, it was loud.)

I stopped in my tracks and straightened up, glad I hadn’t slammed into the broad back in front of me. The spacesuited individual wasn’t even looking, and neither were the other two next to him. (Her? No idea.) I couldn’t see the faces from where I was standing, just the burly, hunched shoulders, and the short reptilian tail. Smashers, that was the name for these guys. I’d never been on the receiving end of their disapproval, and I wasn’t about to start.

The raised voices got louder. I peeked past a giant elbow to see that some scaly members of this huddle seemed to be facing off with the Smashers.

Uh oh. The scaly guys were Armorlites. While most races that I’d met were likely to take the threat of a good smashing and back away, Armorlites never backed away from anything, even (especially) if it was a good idea. Not that I would speak ill of any intelligent race’s common sense, mind you. It’s just that after a few run-ins with these frat house dinosaurs, I had something of an opinion about their skills in diplomacy.

Picture a T-rex with good arms and bad self-preservation sense, baring his teeth at someone roughly his own height, who’s wearing a space suit and speaking in the deepest of voices that makes the very air vibrate. I’d honestly thought it was part of the music, an instrument I didn’t recognize.

But no. It was threats.

“You think you can just claim a table here without paying your respects?”

The Armorlite in front waggled his claws. “We can claim anything we want. You should be respecting me!”

“You’ve got to earn respect, blunt-fang.”

Those were definitely fighting words, and I was concerned. I hopped in place, trying to peek around the meat slab blockade to see if the station had any kind of security forces nearby. No luck. And with the music thumping away, I couldn’t tell what reactions the people on the other side were having to this confrontation.

Just as I turned to rush back down the corridor, the group broke out into sudden movement, all of them lunging and dodging. I watched over my shoulder for a couple of steps, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. Were the Smashers aiming to head-butt the Armorlites with their face shields? Those things weren’t rated for combat. Unless they were. Or —

Unless they were dancing instead.

I stopped dead as the laughter registered in my brain. The two groups were having an honest-to-goodness dance-off next to the food court, and that had been the plan from the start.

“You’ve gotten slow, with footwork like that! I thought this would be a challenge!”

“I’ll show you a challenge! Stand back with your short tail, and let a real expert show you how it’s done!”

“Oh, a real expert? Did you bring one with you?”

The trash talk and deep-voiced chuckles blended with the music while the crowd of giants stomped and jumped and spun. They moved away from the entrance a bit so they’d have room to properly cut a rug, and I caught glimpses of many staring faces at a safe distance. Not a single security officer was among them. Several recording devices were, though.

I edged back in their direction, cautious of flying elbows, and sidled along close to the wall. A cluster of Frillians moved aside to let me escape, busy as they were with filming the dance battle and also laughing about it. They were on the tall side for their own species, but downright spindly compared to the dancers.

Once past, I took a deep breath. I’d reached the food court. Nice to see that it was populated by a range of species, all of whom were going about their day as if this kind of nonsense happened all the time here.

I stood tall and set out to find some human food. There was bound to be someplace that carried Earth cuisine — likely mixed together in bizarre combinations that no Earthling would have done on purpose, but little surprises are a way of life out here.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 1 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Summary : The friendship between you and Loki grows as you both learn more about each other.

Warning: Soft loki alert again, Y/n is the type of y/n that says you know after every sentence..you know?, Mention of trauma and torture, drinking, cuddle bug do do do do, 4.5 k words approx

Loki took a deep breath as soon as he got inside the bathroom. Heavens Goodness this woman was choosing to trust him for some reason and he didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize her faith in him. He looked at himself in the mirror and out of nowhere it suddenly hit him that you were the only person who had trusted him in a very long time. Nobody trusted him. He was a trickster, a liar and now he was a mass murderer.

He clicked his fingers and the armor disappeared from his body, there were millions of bruises on every inch of his skin. That Hulk smash was brutal. He got under the shower and turned it to the coldest setting, as soon as the cold water hit his skin he was finally able to relax.

You kept hearing the knock on the door and you had a strong feeling who it could be. Mrs. Geller ofcourse

"Helloooo Mrs Geller" you gave her a fake cheery smile and you could tell she was trying to peek into your apartment.

"I thought I heard ya screaming" you gulped as she said that.

"I didn't scream..ohhh i actually did ..it was a rat..I saw a rat" you blabbed nervously.

"In your apartment?" She was disgusted by the notion.

"Yeah he was huge..bigggg bigg rat"

"Umm I hear the shower running" she said and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Sometimes you wanted to snap at her. Badly.

"Oh I was going to take a shower but then I heard you knocking soo"

"You know if there's a man in there you can tell me, i would be happy for you.. finally right?" You chuckled as she said that.

"There's no man i promise, you can come check if you don't believe me" you told her so she shook her head.

"Was only making sure you were safe dear"

"I know..I'm grateful.. thank you" you smiled and hugged her. She was just looking out for you but it felt like having a photocopy of your own mom, you didn't need another mom in life.

"I'll set a trap at my place..you do that too" she told you so you smiled.

"I will. Thank youuuu" As she went back to her apartment you took a deep breath. Okay there was still time, you could just call the Avengers and get yourself out of this situation before it would get even messier, you didn't even know this guy. What if he was just playing with you, they didn't call him the god of tricks for shits and giggles. Right?

"Y/n" you heard your name being called so you stepped closer to the bathroom door, he was peeking at you with his head out, his naked body remained hidden behind the door. He gave you a smile and that smile was going to be the death of you. Maybe you can get to know this man, he had given you no reason to not trust him until now. Besides you had the helpline number.

"Can I please get something to dry myself with?" He asked you so you walked towards the closet and came back to him with a towel. He had clothes in his vault but he needed an excuse to talk to you. Once he came out your eyes widened for two very different reasons, first of all those deep purple bruises on his body terrified you, he must had been in alot of pain and second of all you weren't expecting to see such a chiseled lean body hiding behind all that leather and metal.

"Ummm you could have just stayed in you know..you're barely clothed" you said to him so he gave his typical teethy smile again. For a terrorist, he did smile alot.

"Oh is this a nuisance?"

"You being half naked- dripping water everywhere in my living room? No it's not a nuisance at all" you answered sarcastically.

"Well nudity is a man-made construct..in Asgard--" He noticed the deathly glares so he decided to eat the rest of his words, you passed him an another towel and he used it to dry his hair.

His hair didn't look like a tree anymore, it looked soft and smooth and–

"Earth to Madame" you snapped out of your thoughts as he clicked his fingers. Should he tell you that he had clothes of his own? Probably not. "Do you have something for me to wear?"

You stomped on your feet and looked around your closet, there was a pair of black sweatpants and the matching t-shirt you had stolen from one of your boyfriends so you passed it to him, you turned around again as he dropped the towel from his waist to change.

"Thank you lady y/n" he mumbled after he was dressed. That shirt looked indecent on him, you were able to define every muscle underneath that tight constricted fabric.

"I'm going to shower too ..no funny stuff alright?" You warned him but he only got confused, his brows furrowed again, that gesture always made him look so innocent like an infant, a baby animal, a toddler.

He sat down on that ugly sofa and then he heard you yelling at him again which made him squeeze his eyes. The water must have been too cold for you, he'd have to keep that in mind, you were allowing him to stay here so graciously, he didn't want to ruin it. As you came out you asked him to stay right where he was, you wanted to put a bra under your clothes. He might have been a terrorist trickster god but he was still a man.

Grabbing the first aid box you made your way to the sofa and sat down next to him, he looked at your attire and it made him smile, you were matching with his attire from head to toe

"Ummm your cuts..will get infected..did they not patch you up?"

"Oh yes, they definitely patched me up before they arranged a feast to celebrate my presence here" you squinted your eyes in order to avoid an insulting retort. You poured the rubbing alcohol on a cotton swab then passed it to him. Should he tell you that he'd probably be alright by tomorrow?

"What shall I do about this ?" He asked you so you huffed before you snatched it away from him and rubbed it right on the long slit over his nose. He winced so you dabbed it in a gentle manner.

"Do you guys not have doctors or medicines on your alien planet?" He chuckled as you questioned him. Adorable. He found you adorable.

"Oh we do have our mighty healers over there. But it is all purely natural"

"Like ayurveda?"

"I suppose so"

"So what is your plan here? What are you trying to do" you asked him

"You want me to be entirely truthful?"

"There shouldn't be an alternative"

"I just want to loosen myself for a moment if you'd allow me to. It's been a while since I have had the pleasure of doing absolutely nothing"

"Awnnnn it must be a tough job terrorising other planets I am assuming" you pouted at the end of your sentence but he looked down in shame and it made you purse your lips together.

"I'm sorry..I am sorry I don't mean to be so snarky all the time"

"It's alright. I deserve that" his eyes teared up and then you felt even worse.

"Maybe you don't.. I..I don't know you or what happened with you and I shouldn't be judging you like this..so I just..it's just weird for me and I'm usually not this snappy. It's just ..things like this don't happen to me, it happens to other people you know? You know what I mean?" He shook his head as you said that. You suddenly leaned into him and his heart skipped a beat "What is that smell? My body wash doesn't smell like that?" You asked him and he gulped.

"Uhhh it's a scent"

"Like a perfume?"

"Yes"

"Huhh where did you get it from?" You asked him as you crossed your arms.

"My vault "

"Your what?"

"Vault..It's similar to that of a closet like the one you have..there"

"Uhhhuhh I hear you..And where exactly is this vault of yours?"

"In the outer space somewhere" your eyes widened as he said that but you didn't want to snap at him again, especially after you noticed the way he had flinched the last time. Was he used to being yelled at a lot?

"It smells expensive" he smiled as you said that. You saw the green shimmer you had seen before whenever he did magicky stuff, he waved his hand and there it was in his hand. A delicate looking bottle with the most intricate designs you had ever seen in your life.

"You can have it"

"Oh no nooo..I can't"

"I have plenty more where that came from, please have it for me. Just a small token of appreciation for the kindness that you have bestowed –"

"Okay I'll take it" you smiled and it made him smile too.

The door buzzed so you got up. It must be the pizza guy. You gave him a piece too but he didn't really like pizza, and found it too greasy.

After dinner you looked at him curiously. Where was he going to sleep? The couch was too small for him and-- there was only one bed.

Cliche. Cliche.

"So we sleep now?" He asked you

"Yeah, where are you planning to sleep?"

He looked at your bed and you shook your head immediately,

"Is this bedding pleasant enough for you? It looks small" he walked closer to the bed to inspect it as if he was the king of beds or something.

"It's all I can afford right now, after a long day I don't really care I just want to sleep..the apartment had all the other stuff but the thing I needed the most..I bought this one..it's my baby" he smiled and sat down on the bed. Your bed.

"Would you mind me asking about your occupation?" He asked you

"Yeah I'm a prostitute" he tilted his head and thought about it, he didn't want to say something offensive.

"Uhhh it serves you well?" You chuckled as he said that. He was adorable, if you hadn't seen his face all over the news you probably wouldn't have believed that this was the same guy who had supposedly terrorized the earth yesterday.

"I'm joking. I work in a gym, it's temporary..I .. have done a lot of things and changed a lot of jobs and anyways I'll sleep on the sofa because that's even tinier than the bed I got here and you won't fit in there because heyy you're taller than some of the buildings in Minnesota" you smiled at him but his eyes teared up instead. Why were you sacrificing your comfort for him? He didn't deserve your kindness.

"I am honored but –" he waved his fingers again and you gasped as you saw a bed a few feet away from your own. It was a lavish queen sized bed taking most of the space in your apartment

"That was in your closet?"

"Vault"

"Cool cool cool ..very well then.. get on your bed"

"No it's for you.. please take that one"

"Oh no no I'm not taking your princely sophisticated bed..noo" you said to him.

"It's for you" you took a few steps back until you hit the side of the bed

"I said no..are you listening to me? It's your bed, you'd fit in there and I want you to…ohh my godddd!!!!" you exclaimed as you sat down on the softest comfiest surface your butt has ever met with. He couldn't help but smile at your reaction

"Okay maybe I'll rest here for a minute..just 60 seconds okay?" you laid down and a small gasp escaped your throat, it was like floating in the heaven itself. This must be the bed they probably provide in heaven for all the heaveners.

"You do that"

"Just a minute"

"Sure" he laid down on your bed and it smelled like you, thoughts of wanting to cuddle with you infiltrated his mind so he smacked himself mentally, he can't possibly think about a woman he just met today in this sort of way. He turned the lights off as he watched you drifting into a deeper sleep and after several months he was finally able to fall asleep with no fear or threat looming over his head.

The next few days were insane, everyone was talking about him everywhere you went to and you were just seething internally everytime someone mentioned that war criminal Avengers were looking for. You hated how people talked about him and made assumptions, you didn't blame them, people got hurt in that attack, you were doing the same thing before you got to know him a little.

You had started to see him differently when he told you about his life in Asgard, he was a prince, a literal prince living under the shadows of his older brother, you have had friends and family members who wanted to upstage you so you understood his plight. When he told you about how he was the son of the monster all the Asgard despised, your heart rendered for him, everything he thought to be true about himself just didn't exist. One day he was the prince of Asgard and then in a moment his whole world was turned upside down.

"I just don't know who I am anymore, where do I even belong?" He mumbled and your eyes teared up, you didn't understand him completely but you understood some of it. You had felt lost most of your life. You placed your hand on his so he looked at you, his eyes were moist too and the sad look on his face always made you want to wrap your arms around him and hug him as tightly as you could.

"Ummm maybe with time everything will fall into the right place" he grabbed your digits in his large hand and then you felt his thumb rubbing against the back of your fingers, and it made your breath hitch in your chest. Everytime he touched you, you just wanted him to keep going but he never crossed that line of decency and you weren't sure if you wanted that either because you were enjoying having a friend who didn't seem completely selfish to his core.

"Time for margaritas" you got up and ruffled his hair with your hands before you moved to the kitchen. He probably wouldn't have allowed anyone to do it to him, nobody gets to touch his hair, but he owed you for literally saving his arse. Also because he enjoyed whenever you touched him like that.

"So do you have a girlfriend or something on your planet?" You asked him sheepishly as you sipped on your drink, it's been more than a week since he basically begged you to stay here and that particular curiosity has been bothering you since.

"A girlfriend?" He giggled

"Yeah like a lady friend, companion, consort sort of thing etc" That's right. You had books, you had Google on your phone.

"I do not have one at the present, ofcourse"

"But you used to?"

"I have been alive for a thousand years darling" your face flushed at the pet name. Damn!! he was a grand grand daddy.

"Yeah but not every person we are attracted to turns into a special person you know?" You asked him and he nodded.

"Well I was betrothed to the princess of Vanaheim, father - Odin wanted the alliance for political and regional purposes, safe to say I crushed all of his ambitions under my boots" he chuckled and you looked at him curiously.

"Arranged marriage? Did you like this Princess? I mean I don't know why you won't..she's a literal Princess but did you like her..like like her?" He kept staring at your face as you blabbed, his mouth curved into a smile and you just wanted to knock it off because it made you feel nervous.

"We met on every auspicious occasions, she was .. beautiful certainly " he let out a nervous laugh "Perhaps our affair would have developed further or not. Will never find out because I was thirsty for blood" he quoted his brother and even though he was smiling you could see the sadness on his features.

"Do you miss her?" You fidgeted with your fingers as you questioned.

"I only wish for her to be well. Enough of me, what about you? Are you of proper age to be wedded?" You burst out laughing as he said that

"Am I of age? I'm gonna be thirty in a week, THIRTY is like sixty for a woman here.. that's what my mom says by the way. Did you know I'm losing my eggs with time and I'll regret being alone if I don't find a guy right this moment and let him breed me so I could raise an insufferable depressed child just like me?" his brows remained furrowed as you finished your sentence.

"But you do not want to marry and have a child?" You sighed as he questioned, this was the part where it got really hard for you to explain what you wanted in life because everything you wanted was taken from you or just not meant for you. You turned your body towards him and he was looking at you with such intensity that you couldn't even maintain a proper eye contact, not for long anyways.

"I want it, I'm not against it but I want it with someone I want it with?" Your eyes teared up, you were slightly tipsy and you had someone listening to what you wanted to say, a man like him wanted to talk to you and all of it was making you emotional. He noticed the change in your mood so he scooted closer to you and placed his hand on yours again

"The first guy I ever remember liking was when I was 20, I was a late bloomer you see" you chuckled and he brought his fingers up to tuck your hair behind the ear, why would he do that? WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? God that tingled.

"What did he do?" He asked softly.

"He didn't do anything, he was just so confusing. I mean why would a guy talk to me everyday and flirt with me all the time if he didn't want to have something? One day he was into me the other day he was too broken from his past relationships, the third day he was again into me and then he'd ghost me point blank for two days and then he'd come back to repeat the cycle for months and I allowed it..it messed me up for a long time because he always made me feel as if I wasn't enough..as if I was doing something wrong and I continued to approach him even though he made it clear that he didn't want anything, because then i wondered if he'd come back in three days and change his tune again" as the tear slipped past your cheek he wiped it with his thumb, you felt his fingers running through your scalp and it calmed you down a little bit it was also making you feel several other things.

"You did nothing wrong my darling. He was a selfish,immature, pompous arse in the dire need of a distraction, i know of their kind very well" Well he grew up with their kind

"He's married now and I didn't even want to marry him because he was the least attractive man there ever could be. I don't even know why I liked him but it still hurts.. seeing people who had hurt you so much be so happy in life…it hurts" as your voice choked he instantly pulled you closer and wrapped his arms around you to hug you.

"Do you want to hear more?" You asked him between your silly cries.

"Yes" he answered instantly.

"The second guy was the guy who actually wanted to date me..I was 23, he was a year younger than me so it definitely was my fault, and it was a long distance relationship "

"Long distance?"

"Yeah like we were geographically apart?"

"So you never met each other?"

"We met twice" you facepalmed as you reeled in your stupidity "Long story short after a few months of the relationship and me not willing to put out for him, as in I didn't send nudes when he asked.."

"Nudes?" God he was so clueless about everything.

"Naked pictures of myself

"Understood"

"All of a sudden he didn't love me anymore you know and guess what? He fell for his best friend who had to be a girl of course.. you know what I ended up becoming? That girl in movies who comes between two obviously in love best friends. I got cheated on, I was led on, I got hurt and abandoned but somehow I was still the villain here..worst part is I liked him so much that even after he broke my heart we stayed friends and he'd ask me for tips so he could impress this best friend turned lover of his"

"And you gave him these tips he asked for?" He scrunched his nose

"Fucking yeahhh..I'm so stupid oh god..he broke up with me over the text, it was two days after he had told me that he loved me and saw a future with me..I'm so stupid"

"You're not stupid darling.. merely gullible"

"That doesn't make me feel any better"

He smiled as you said that but you weren't done talking. You'd talk until you'd drive this one away too. He'd probably get himself arrested after this. "Unfortunately I didn't just stop there ..i continued to befriend and get involved with selfish assholes all my life and now I'm old, I wasted my youth on those jerks and now I'm not as wanted as I was in my early 20s.. worst part is I wasn't even in love with those guys but I still allowed them to waste so much of my time and break me so much that I can't even trust anyone anymore"

"You're so far off the reality little one" he smiled so you glared at him.

"What?"

"You are ethereal, so very youthful as opposed to what you may choose to believe about yourself and you're so…" he gulped as he looked at you intently "Intriguing..any man would be fortunate to have a woman like you, but you do not deserve just any other man..you deserve the noblest of them all.. perhaps the reason you haven't found one yet " you sniffled as he finished his sentence.

"You are sweet"

"So you were not in love with them? Any of them?" He questioned so you shook your head in response. You loved some of them but you weren't in love.

"Noo..never. Maybe my perception of love has been skewed because of those romantic movies but I have never felt that intense type of love in my life..like ever. Never felt the chemistry..that bubbling scorching heat" he gulped as you said that as you got more and more animated with your hand gestures .

"Heattt?"

"Yeahhh you know when you're just so in love with someone that you just want to fuck them so hard, anywhere, everywhere..all the time.. and it doesn't matter how they look.. you just want to go wild on them because you're in loveeee"

"Perhaps you're confusing lust with love?" he blushed as he questioned so you shook your head.

"Noo the lust would mean you want to have raunchy sex with them and then go your separate ways. I don't want just thatttt..no no..i want to be there for this man..not just for the sex but for the bad and tough times..harddd hard times and for those insecure moments" you looked into his eyes and you could see his mouth open and close, because he had nothing to say. He was charmed.

"I want to treat him like he's the best thing to ever exist and I want to fuck him day and night because I'm so attracted to this gem of a man and then cuddle him until he's all happy in his head. And i want to gush about him all the time to every person i know and bite their ears off while I tell them how fucking gorgeous the love of my life is.. you knowwwww" he licked his lower lip as he looked at your heavy breaths after you finished your sentence. All of a sudden he wanted to be that man, he yearned to be the object of your fascination, he needed to be the man that you wanted to love and be in love with so deeply.

You couldn't stop staring at his lips and you kept wondering how it would be like to kiss him.

Oh god you were so very much attracted to him..oh fucking god.

Of course you were attracted to someone who you knew was way out of your league and practically non attainable. He wasn't even from this planet.

"You know if I'm ever talking too much especially after drinking margaritas you can just shut me up real quick" he chuckled as you said that.

"Pardon me for being unresponsive darling. I was just thinking about what you just said. It's uhh ..sweet and Passionate, it's alluring.. i understand now" Stop looking into his sea green eyes. Especially when he's talking.

"That's a relief..okay we should sleep" you gave him an awkward hug as you wished him good night. You could smell that cologne that you loved so much, the smell that resembled bergamot and roses.

Next morning you didn't have to work so you spent the day teaching him basic things in the kitchen, for example turning the stove on, making a nice cup of tea, or just simple eggs, he had never stepped a foot in the kitchen before but he was a fast learner. You noticed though that the heat was bothering him so after a while you threw him out of the kitchen.

That night you woke up and saw him trembling with fear on that tiny little bed, his knees were curled into his chest and he kept mumbling, asking them to not hurt him, he was begging someone to spare him today. You quickly got out of the bed and walked towards him, he always insisted on sleeping on your kiddie sized bed even though he was definitely too tall for it.

"Lokii?" You placed your palm on his forehead and he was sweating alot, you wiped the sweat beads off his skin with the sleeve of your shirt before you bent down on your knees at the edge of his bed.

"Looo? Wake up ..it's just a nightmare" god knew what he was seeing in that moment, he didn't tell you everything about him, or how much he had suffered. His eyes opened slowly and the lights were off but the window behind the bed made you able to see him.

"Are you okay?" You asked him softly and he sniffled in response then he shook his head, he sat up a little and you thought he wanted to talk to you but instead he leaned into you, wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you on the bed next to him. God he was soo strong.

Also you didn't have a bra on.

He laid down with you, one of his arm stayed curled around your waist, you gasped a little as he hid his face between the crook of your neck, his lips too close to your cleavage but you didn't think he was even thinking about the closeness at the moment. Maybe he just wanted to hold someone and be held in return so that's what you gave him, you lifted his head up for a moment just so you could place your arm underneath, sure your nerves would be dead by tomorrow but you figured it would be worth it.

You had not even hugged him for more than a few seconds before this but then how come this didn't feel weird at all? Why did holding him so close felt so natural? You heard his little whimpers and it snapped you out of the daydreaming.

"You're okay I promise..you're okay" you mumbled softly as your fingers ran over his scalp while the other hand caressed his back, his hair was as soft as you had imagined it to be. His hand lowered down from your waist, it briefly brushed over your cheeks before he grabbed your thigh and hooked it around his waist then his arm held onto your waist again. Okay you were physically, mentally and officially turned on now, you could feel your lips quivering because of the intimate position. Both of them. You felt afraid you'd start to hump against him in the middle of the night.

He fell asleep soon after, leaving you all warm and tingly inside. You may or may not have kissed his forehead once he did.

The next morning you thought things would get awkward between you two but you had no idea that this innocuous cuddling thing was about to become an important part of your bedtime routine.

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72

@nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @littlespaceyelf @fictive-sl0th @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1

@whylokiissocute @hyperlokilover

[hoedamn-eron]

baby, please - part 15

You join Santi at Frankie's Halloween party, and you think his friends are a hoot.

Warnings: Reader is called 'Auntie' by a four year old. Heavy on the Halloween theme (obviously). Bad descriptions of a decorated house (I've never been one to celebrate Halloween, I've never really decorated my house). Lots of dialogue. Like one swear word. Slight, teeny-tiny, self-consciousness regarding future relationships for the babies/Santi/the boys/other kids. Nervousness over meeting new people. Slightly drunk Santi. Word count: 4,301 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Again, not a great chapter, I apologise. I tried my best and no amount of rewriting could make me love it. But at least you've met the guys now!

Part 14 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 16

“I’m actually really excited for tonight, thanks for inviting me,” Gabrielle said as she walked into your apartment, kids in tow, already dressed in their costumes, the Hulk and…Michael Myers.

Theodore looked up at you as you closed your door, and he gave a loud roar, before ‘flexing’ his arms. “Hulk smash!”

You grinned before pretending to act shocked. “Please, Mr Hulk, don’t smash up my apartment! I’m moving out soon and need it to look nice for the new owners.”

“Are you leaving?” Theodore asked, lifting his mask, and looking at you with sad eyes.

You shake your head. “No, I’m just getting a bigger house, for me and my babies.” You pat your bump.

“Okay,” Theodore said, going quiet before asking, “Can I smash your new house then?”

“No smashing of other people’s property,” Gabrielle said, putting Luna down on the floor as the two-year-old toddled off into your living room.

You look at Gabrielle with an amused look at Theodore followed his sister. “So…Michael Myers?”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes as she made her way through your apartment, bags in hand. “I don’t know where she got it from, but she refused any other costume. I asked Matthew about it, but he’s claiming ignorance. It was definitely him though, but I’m not sure when he’s had the chance to watch Halloween with our two-year-old.”

You throw your hands up. “I mean…if Luna likes it – “

“Won’t people think I’m being a bad mother letting her dress up as a serial killer from a movie?”

“No-one’s going to think you’re a bad mother, Gabs. If anything, they’ll find it funny. I know Santi will.”

Gabrielle pulled a face before shaking her head. “It’s fine. You know what, it’ll be fine. I’m overthinking it.”

“You are a little. Seriously, don’t worry about it.” You look at her bags. “What are you dressing as?”

“A pirate,” Gabrielle replied. “And I made it myself with an old shirt and pants. They haven’t fit me since before I was pregnant with Luna so I thought they might as well have one last good use.”

You nod. “Cool. I’m going as Midge, you know, the - ”

“The Barbie doll?” Gabrielle cried, her eyes widening as she laughed. “That’s genius!”

“I have a wig and everything,” you laugh with her. “I hope it’s not too niche.”

“No, it’s great! I can’t wait to see it!”

You get ready together in your small bathroom as the kids watched cartoons and ate some dinner (Luna had refused to take off her mask until Gabrielle had bought out the PB&J sandwich and banana). Gabrielle looked amazing in her home-made costume (an old stripy black and white t-shirt, and some black pants that had been strategically cut to look ripped), complete with eyepatch and red head scarf. She helped you get into your costume until you both laughed with tears in your eyes, finding yourselves absolutely hilarious. You laughed even more when you placed on your red-haired wig.

“I need a photo!” Gabrielle said, still laughing, before you posed at the bathroom door as she took the picture, a wide smile on your face as you hold your bump.

After a few more laughs, and some photos with Gabrielle and the kids, you share the photos with the group chat, where Beth and Courtney both send back images of their own Halloween plans; Courtney at home with Andy, on the couch watching horror films with a big bowl of candy they were going to hand out to the trick or treaters, and Beth and Georgia at another Halloween party with Georgia’s family, where they were both dressed in a couple’s costume of She-Go and Kim Possible.

Once you and Gabrielle were ready, and the kids had finished their sandwiches, you text Santi to let him know you were on the way to Frankie’s house. He had sent over Frankie’s address earlier that day, and it wasn’t too far from the restaurant you had your date at. You set up your GPS as Gabrielle got the kids settled in the back of your car, settled in the car seats you had borrowed from Georgia via Beth.

“Are you nervous?” Gabrielle asked as she climbed into your car and closed the door.

“About what?” you ask, looking behind you as you backed out of your parking space.

“Me meeting Santi, or Santi meeting me,” Gabrielle answered.

“No, not at all,” you answer back, pulling out onto the street. “I’m more nervous about meeting his friends. He holds them in such high regard, I’m scared I’ll disappoint them.”

“You could never,” Gabrielle says. “You’re having the guys kids, I’m sure they’ll trust his judgement.”

You give her a look.

“Not that there’s anything to judge, you’re a wonderful person, I love you,” Gabrielle quickly adds, sending you a wide smile with a small giggle.

“Thanks, really appreciate it,” you snark back good-naturedly, shaking your head as you laugh.

“Auntie?” Theodore calls you from his place in the back.

“Yes, honey?” you ask him as you stop at some lights.

“When are your babies coming?”

“Not until February,” you reply. “We have to do Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, and my birthday, then I’ll have my babies.”

“Can we meet them when they’re born?” Theodore asks.

“Not until they’re all settled at home,” Gabrielle said. “Remember when we bought Luna home, and it was just me, you, Luna, and daddy for a while?”

“Yup,” Theodore said.

“Well that’s because we all needed to get to know Luna first, wasn’t it?” Gabrielle asked. “So your Auntie and…her…friend…”

You smirk in amusement as Gabrielle tried to explain your relationship with Santi in a child friendly way. You make a right turn, making your way onto a residential street, already with a few trick or treaters.

“Anyway, your Auntie and her friend will be with the babies for a little bit before we get to see them.”

“Who is your friend, Auntie?” Theodore asked.

“His name is Santiago,” you reply. “You’ll meet him tonight.”

Theodore is quiet for a little bit before saying, “I thought mommies and daddies had to be married to have babies?”

“Who’s excited for the party?” you asked enthusiastically, causing Luna to cheer, Theodore soon joining, causing the four-year-old to soon forget his questions.

Gabrielle grinned before quietly whispering, “Nice save, you heathen.”

“I may be a heathen, but you will have to explain to your kids why I’m pregnant without being married. We’re here!” you call, pulling up to a nice-looking house, covered in Halloween decorations. The house was covered in fake cobwebs and ‘Keep Out!’ tape was stuck on the doors and windows.

There was a large, blow-up witch by the front door, and a few fake gravestones littering the front yard, some skeletons hanging over some, and you could see fake spiders with light up eyes scattered over the yard with them. The lighting inside the house was lightly fading into different colours, like purple, red, green, and orange. Lastly, you spot Jack-o’-Lanterns gathered together by the garage and the steps leading up the small porch, and the front door.

“This looks nice,” you say, looking at all the decorations.

Gabrielle nodded, smiling. “Looks like fun! Let’s go!”

You climb out of the car, giving a small shiver at the chill of the Autumn air, before getting Luna out as Gabrielle tended to Theodore. You hold the two years old’s hand as Gabrielle comes to your side, holding Theodore’s hand and the children’s bag over her shoulder. You all make your way up to the front door, before you stop, but you stand there, nervous. The sound of laughter, chatter, and faint music spills out from it, mingling with the rustle of fallen leaves.

You look at Gabrielle. “I feel really nervous. And really stupid because I feel really nervous.”

“It’s okay to feel nervous, and you’re not stupid,” Gabrielle said. “There’s a lot of things happening tonight, and if you’re not comfortable, we can just forget this and walk around the neighbourhood with the kids.”

You take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your rapidly beating heart. Gabrielle was right, there was a lot happening tonight. One of the most important people in your life is meeting an equally as important person. And in turn, you’ll be meeting the most important people in his life. You're grateful for Gabrielle’s comforting presence of your friend, her reassuring smile helping to ease the nervous tension.

Eventually you nod at Gabrielle before turning back to the door before ringing the doorbell.

After a few moments, your heart stops as the front door opens. You’re faced with a gorgeous woman, her thick, dark hair cascading in loose waves, sat under a witch’s hat. It framed her face, where her flawless sun-kissed skin was decorated with the glitter and Halloween make-up. She looks at you all with her dark eyes before gasping, her eyes widening in excitement. She calls your name.

“Yes, that’s me,” you say, smiling nervously. You assume this is Sarah. “And this is Gabrielle, my friend. And her kids, Theodore, and Luna.”

“I’m so glad you could make it! I’m Sarah. I’ve been so excited to meet you, can’t believe Santi kept you to himself for so long. Anyway, come in, come in,” she ushers you all in, closing the door behind you. “Your costumes look fantastic! Everyone’s just in the living room, I can put your bag in the closet?” she asks Gabrielle.

“Oh, no I’m fine, thank you, I can do it,” Gabrielle said.

“It’s no problem,” Sarah said, taking the bag from Gabrielle. “Go on through!”

You and Gabrielle thank her again before you make your way through the house. It was a small corridor that lead into an open plan living room, where it was just as heavily decorated as the outside. You feel your heart beating harder as nervousness ran through your body, as you take in the people in the living room. It was a little loud, but not too loud where it was obnoxious. The kids immediately let go of yours and Gabrielle’s hands at the sight of the toys scattered around the living room, throwing themselves on the floor and immediately playing.

Your eyes widen a little as you take in the small crowd. Santi wasn’t here. And you didn’t recognise anyone other than Frankie (who hadn’t actually put on a costume), and he was stood with a good-looking blonde man and a cute redheaded woman, who was hanging off of the man’s arm. The blonde and redhead were in a couple’s costume of Daphne and Fred from Scooby-Doo. Frankie chuckled at something the pirate said, before turning and catching your eye.

“Oh hey!” Frankie called as he saw you. He excuses himself from his group and makes his way over to you. “Glad you could make it.”

“Thanks again for the invite,” you say, giving a nervous laugh before turning to Gabrielle, who smiled at him. “This is my friend, Gabrielle, and her kids Theodore and Luna, who are absolutely demolishing your daughter’s toys.”

Frankie waved a nonchalant hand. “Don’t worry about it. Nice to meet you,” Frankie says, shaking Gabrielle’s hand.

“You too. And thanks again for letting me join you,” Gabrielle replied. “My kids love Halloween.”

“It’s not a problem,” Frankie says before turning to you. “Pope just ran out, he’ll be back in a few.”

You nod, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding.

“Come over, make yourselves at home,” Frankie said, leading you both over to the people who he was talking to. “These are Will and Claire, I’m sure Pope’s mentioned them to you before.”

“Hi,” you say, Gabrielle giving a small wave.

“What can I get you to drink?” Frankie asked.

“Lemonade, please, if you have it,” Gabrielle said.

Frankie nodded before looking at you.

You really wanted Diet Coke, but you’d just met these people and you felt like it would be really rude to just…ask for something they might not have. Maybe you could just have a water? No, that was a bit boring, especially at a party, but you were pregnant, so it was the healthiest choice and no-one would question if you just wanted a water. God, you’re overthinking over a drink. You wouldn’t be so on edge if Santi was here, you wouldn’t be as worried to ask anything.

“A lemonade is fine for me too, thanks,” you reply.

Frankie nodded again before claiming he’d be back soon. He disappears through to the kitchen, not before stopping to give Sarah, now carrying a little girl dressed as a fairy (who was the image of Frankie), a quick peck before disappearing into the kitchen.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Will says gently. You got a chill vibe from him, although he looked rough and tumble. “Pope’s told us all about you.”

“All good things, I hope,” you say with a nervous smile as Frankie leaves towards the kitchen.

“Absolutely,” said Will, smiling as he pulled Claire into his side, her hand automatically resting on his chest, her engagement ring glinting in the Halloween themed lights. “You and the kids are all he talks about nowadays.”

You hold back a grin as Gabrielle gave you a small nudge.

“It’s been nice, that he wants to stick around,” you say, your cheeks warming. “Having kids wasn’t in my plans right now, and I could only guess they definitely weren’t in his.”

“They weren’t, but Pope’s always been good at adapting. And he’s really warmed up to the idea of being a dad,” Will said, giving a nod. “He’s dedicated to ‘em already.”

“Not dedicated enough to get a fucking car, though,” said Frankie, jokingly, suddenly coming up behind you with two glasses of cloudy lemonade in his hands.

“He said he’s working on it,” you said, coming to Santi’s defence, before taking a glass from Frankie and thanking him.

Gabrielle thanked Frankie for the other lemonade before looking between you all. “Is he fond of the truck?”

Frankie snorted, now nursing his own beer bottle. “He’d marry the truck if he could. He bought it when we came back from our first mission. Surprised it still runs.”

“Whose kid is Michael Myers?” a deep voice asked from behind you.

You turn to see a tall, blonde man, dressed – ironically – as a pirate. His eyes were the same colour at Will’s, and they looked similar, so you had to assume this was Benny. He was carrying a pack of beer in one arm, an open can in the other hand. He looks at everyone with a furrowed brow, confused about you and Gabrielle – obviously because you were unfamiliar.

“She’s mine,” Gabrielle said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t ask.”

“Holy shit, we match!” Benny cried, his grin widening as he motioned to their outfits. “Here I thought I was being clever being a pirate!”

Gabrielle gave a small, amused laugh. “Your costume is better than mine, I just threw this together.”

“Nah, you look great!” Benny said, and you could tell he meant it. He reminded you a little of a Golden Retriever; a dumb, loving, Golden Retriever.

“Well…thanks,” Gabrielle said, blushing a little as she took a sip of her lemonade.

Benny’s eyes landed on you, before smirking. “Been looking forward to meeting you.”

“Be nice,” Frankie said, giving Benny a pointed look.

“He bothering you, cariño?”

You turn so suddenly, you’re surprised you didn’t give yourself whiplash. Your breath catches. Santi's dressed as a charming vampire, complete with the fake-bloodied holes on his neck, a black cape and fake fangs that glint as he grins at you. As if they feel their father near (or, you know, the sudden acceleration of your heartbeat), you feel a few kicks from within, a reminder of the two lives quietly developing beneath the surface.

Realising you may have taken too long to answer, you shake your head. “No, no. He isn’t bothering me.”

Santi gives a small laugh of amusement before he holds up a case of Diet Coke cans. “Had to get these, since Frankie isn’t accommodating for new guests.”

“Hey, hermano, I would have gotten them if I’d known,” Frankie says, with mock offence, before giving Santi a pointed look. “Don’t blame me for your bad planning!”

Santi throws him the bird before pulling a can from the pack. “Might be a bit warm, I can put the rest in the fridge. Unless you want to wait?”

Oh, you love this man. You want to marry this man.

“I’ll finish my lemonade first, thank you,” you say, smiling softly. “I’ll have a Coke later.”

Santi nods before putting the can back in the pack before he glares at Benny. “Don’t be an ass.”

“I wasn’t!” he called as Santi walked off into the kitchen. He turned to look at you. “I wasn’t going to be an ass, I swear.”

“I believe you,” you say, nodding as you sip at your lemonade.

“Go and put your beer in the fridge,” said Will, laughing.

Benny rolled his eyes, muttering something you couldn’t quite hear, before he turned and followed Santi through to the kitchen, calling for him.

“So uh…that’s Santi?” Gabrielle asks you quietly.

You sigh lightly, giving her a look. “Yup.”

“Cute. Nice hair. And a nice smile…I assume, he’s got fangs in.”

“He does have a nice smile,” you say, before smirking. “Nice ass, too.”

You both snort a laugh in amusement before going quiet when Santi and Benny come back, talking animatedly about something that you couldn’t quite keep up with, beers in their hands. You avert your gaze, looking at Gabrielle, who smirked back at you as she sipped at her lemonade. You shake your head as Santi stands next to you, Benny next to him.

“What have I missed?” he asked, looking at the group.

“Introductions, mostly,” you say, motioning to Gabrielle. “This is Gabrielle. Gabs, this is Santi.”

Gabrielle and Santi shake hands. “Nice to meet you,” Gabrielle says.

“You too,” Santi says. He nods to Theodore and Luna, who were still sat playing with the toys. “I’m assuming Michael Myers and the Hulk are yours?”

“They are,” Gabrielle says, letting out a small laugh. “Theodore and Luna. She insisted on being Michael Myers.”

“Girl’s got taste, it’s my favourite horror film,” Benny said, laughing.

As the night goes on, more and more guests show up, and the house is soon full of people. Sarah’s brothers and sister had turned up with their kids, and Theodore and Luna soon integrated themselves with the other children, who ranged from aged 6 months old to 9 years old. Sofía had even joined after a while, although she played mostly on her own, beside Luna, who still had yet to take off her mask.

Sarah had set up some Halloween activities in the back yard; she’d set up a table with some pumpkins of various sizes and some carving sets, mostly for the older kids, but you and Gabrielle helped Theodore and Luna make their own pumpkins. Sarah had also set up a large box filled with water and apples for bobbing, something you opted out of, but howled with laughter when you watched the Miller brothers almost try to drown each other in order to win. Santi was by your side throughout.

You talked to so many people; mostly about work, how your pregnancy was going, if you were enjoying the party. You had to admit, you were having fun, and it was nice to see Santi interacting with his friends. He was…different. But in a good way. He seemed more laidback, chatted a little more, and you got to see him interact with Sofía. He loved that little girl. She was just learning to walk, and she would always find herself toddling over to Santi and reach up for him.

There was never a lull in conversation as he picked her up, it was almost as if it was instinctive for him. It made your heart swell.

The guys didn’t let you down in telling you embarrassing stories about Santi.

You started wondering what it would be like with your kids. Would he take them to Halloween parties like this? Would your children and Sofía grow up together and become friends? Would Frankie, Will, and Benny be as involved as they were with Sofía? You suppose it would be harder, with you and Santi not being an actual couple. They would only see the twins on whichever schedule you and Santi eventually decide between yourselves, and even then, that might not be every time Santi has them.

You look around the living room, holding your long empty Diet Coke can. Benny and Gabrielle were standing with the kids, talking about whatever they were talking about (something to do with boxing…you remember Benny had done some cage fighting), and Frankie and Sarah were putting Sofía to bed. Santi and Will were talking with Claire about wedding planning; but it did look like Claire was doing most of the talking. It was cute, you looked forward to hearing more about it.

You took the opportunity to sneak away to the kitchen, grabbing a moment of peace and quiet. You toss your empty can into the recycling before opening the fridge to grab another.

“You okay, corazón?”

You give a small smile as you look at Santi, who had joined you in the kitchen, beer bottle in his hand. His eyes were a little unfocused, and he was giving you a little dopey smile, probably from the few beers he’d had. You close the fridge. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just grabbing another drink. Thanks for getting these, by the way.”

Santi nodded, leaning against one of the counters. “Not a problem. It was my fault Frankie didn’t have any, I did forget to tell him.”

You shake your head at him. “I would have gone without, you didn’t need to go to the store.”

“Benny was going anyway,” Santi said. “And I wanted to. They didn’t have any Sourpatch Kids though, you might have to steal some from the Trick or Treat bowl.”

You shake your head, grinning. “I’ve already looked, they’re not the watermelon ones.”

“Damn, you just can’t get the staff nowadays,” Santi joked.

You laugh as you open the can. You hold it out to him in a silent offer, and he shakes his head at you, finishing the beer he had with him.

You nod, then you both go silent, and you take a sip of your drink. Something felt…weird. You couldn’t put your finger on it. It wasn’t an awkward feeling, not at all. But now, in this moment, there was an unfamiliar tension in the air. You’d been alone together plenty of times before. Maybe it was because you’d really integrated in each other’s lives; his apartment had a fully furnished nursery, which you picked yourselves, you were both meeting each other’s friends, and you even had your own designated snack drawer in his kitchen for your favourite foods whenever you found yourself at his place.

Maybe that was it. A lot had happened in the last few days and it was getting to you.

“You okay?”

You blink at his question before giving him a closed lipped smile and nodding. “Yeah. Just tired.”

“You can go home if you want, no-one will mind,” Santi said, coming off the counter.

“No, no, I’m okay. Gabs and the kids are having a good time.”

“You sure?” he asks, coming closer to you. “I don’t want you uncomfortable. You’re carrying my kids in there.”

You give a small snort of amusement before nodding. “Yeah…yeah, I’m sure.”

He doesn’t say anything, just takes a few more steps closer to you. Your breath hitches, as you stare at him. The sounds of the party in just the next room seem to fade away, and all you can hear is the thumping of your heartbeat in your ears.

The atmosphere is charged with anticipation as you and Santi share a moment of connection. He’s so close, you feel your back hit the fridge, your noses touching. He smells faintly of the beer he’s been drinking, but mostly of the pumpkins he helped carve for Sofía, and the cologne he always wears, and something that was just plain Santiago. It was mouth-watering. His eyes flash to your lips before meeting yours. Your lips inch closer, teasing the promise of a sweet, stolen kiss in his best friend’s kitchen.

“What are you doing?” you whisper.

There’s a pause before he whispers back. “I don’t know.”

You lean in, your lips barely meeting when the spell is abruptly broken as the kitchen door opens.

Santi jumps apart from you as you gasp at the sudden movement, and before you know it, he’s across the other side of the kitchen, throwing away his empty beer.

Gabrielle walks into the kitchen, looking between the two of you, obviously reading the room. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

You open your mouth to reply but Santiago shakes his head, a light blush on his cheeks as he grins at her. “No, we were just talking. Nothing going on.”

You freeze. No, that’s not what he meant. Don’t overthink this. He’s a little drunk and you’re having his kids. It’s understandable that he might be feeling a little friendly.

You give a shaky smile to Gabrielle. “Yeah, just talking.”

Gabrielle nodded as Santi mumbled something about re-joining the party and leaving the kitchen. You both watch him leave before you shake your head, trying to calm your breathing and your heart.

“What was that?” Gabrielle whispered, her eyes wide at you.

You shook your head. “I…nothing. It was nothing.”

Tagged - @khonsulockley, @bluenredndeath, @superficialfeelings, @othersideoftheparadise, @beezusvreeland

[shadowdaddyazriel]

Four's A Party

summary: You meet Azriel, Ruhn Danaan, and Dorian Havilliard at a bar and have a night none of you will ever forget.

warnings: smut!!!! foursome, praise kink, mmmf, etc etc.

leave a comment if you enjoy ;)

The music in Rita’s was thrumming so loud I swore I could feel it vibrating through my veins. I swayed to the music, pulling my hair up off my neck to cool off. The song stopped and faded into something slower and I excused myself from my friends to head to the bathroom to have a second to catch my breath . 

I sigh, grabbing the door handle and swinging the door open wide. I gasp, staggering back a step as I nearly run smack into a hulking male figure in the doorway. He grabs my arms, steadying me. I look at his face then, and I really and truly could have disappeared. Of course I just walked in on the hottest man I’ve ever seen. 

“Well, hello,” he coos, his voice so deep I could practically hear it rumbling in his chest. Gods, as if he needed to be hotter. Looking up at him, my head tipped back to accommodate his height. He towered over me.

“Hi,” I managed to choke out.

“I think someone was in there,” he lets out a dark chuckle. “But you’re good now, baby.” He nods his head at me in salutation and moves around me. I spin, dumbfounded and staring after him. He looked back over his shoulder with a devilish grin and a wink. 

I sucked in a breath, quickly walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. I clicked the lock into place, smoothing down my hair and taking a deep breath. I was so sick of my friends always having these risque adventures on nights out and just expecting me to be the celibate innocent friend. I looked in the mirror, giving myself a pep talk to do something ballsy for once. 

I turned and swung open the door, revealing the beautiful male I’d run into leaning against the wall beside the door smirking at me with a wicked look in his eyes. Almost like he was waiting for me to come out. And I just decided… I mean, fuck it. 

I grabbed the male by his shirt pulling him after me as I walk backwards into the bathroom giving him a smoldering suggestive look. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat. And gods, I wanted to taste that smile. 

The door banged shut behind us and the male clicked the lock into place. He towered over me again, surveying me with a wicked glimmer in his eyes. Those beautiful hazel eyes. 

“Hi again, princess.” He purrs. I swallow, bravery fading with every second he looked at me. I wanted to squirm under his glance, the intensity of it thrilling. I’m sure my cheeks were incredibly flushed.

Before I knew what he was doing, he gripped my waist, lifting me to sit on the sink, parting my legs to stand between them. His hands found the sides of my face, thumbs stroking in calming passes as he continued to stare into my eyes. 

And then smashes his mouth into mine. My back arches and I moan into his mouth as he kisses me with fervor. He bites my lower lip, tugging it between his teeth as his tongue caresses it. I went liquid under his touch, little bolts of electricity snaking down my spine and to my core. 

“Couldn’t even ask me my name first, could you, pretty girl?” he chuckles, hands sliding down my shoulders and beginning to roam my body. 

“What’s your name?” I say, placing my hands on his defined chest. 

“Azriel.”

“Hmmm. Hi, Azriel,” I said with a cheeky grin. 

He hummed, kissing me again and whispering against my lips, “Say that again, I liked it.”

“Azriel,” I whisper against his mouth and his mouth reclaims mine. 

“What’s yours, princess?” He asks, leaning back to look at me again, biting his lower lip. 

“You don’t need to know,” I say, raising my eyebrows in a challenge. He leans forward, lips claiming my neck, making me sigh into him, my body pliant. 

He pushes his hip against mine, my skirt hiking up to my hip bones. I can feel how hard he is through his jeans as he presses into me. I arch into him, groaning at the friction. 

My hands bury into his hair as he moves to pull my shirt over my head. His head dips down to pull my nipple into his mouth, tongue swirling around it. I was drenched, arching for him. Gods, this was an even better idea than I thought. I couldn’t even believe what was happening right now.

A loud banging on the door signals that someone has been waiting for a while now. My eyes go wide and he chuckles quietly at my expression. 

“Guess we’ll have to be quick then. Good thing you’re already soaking wet for me, huh?” He coos, his fingers pushing my underwear aside to run two fingers up my slit, the glide of me ripping a low growl from his pink lips. 

My hands grab his belt, quickly fumbling to get his pants off. He helps me, freeing himself. My eyes go wide at the sight of him, my throat going dry. He was perfect. I wanted- no, I needed him inside of me, filling me. He palmed his cock rubbing the tip along my entrance at an achingly slow pace. I claw at him, needing more. He chuckles, nipping my earlobe.

“Such a greedy little slut, aren’t you? Sneaking me into the bathroom, desperate for me to fill you,” he says, and within seconds he fills me completely, slamming all the way to the hilt. My body clenches around him in shock, and he lets out a heavy breath, eyes rolling back in his head.

“Can I move?” He groans, eyes closed and head tipped back slightly. And gods is he a sight to see. A greek god among men. 

“Fill me with you.” I moan, writhing against him in anticipation.”I want to feel you tomorrow and remember just how good you felt inside me.”

He thrusts into me again, both of us clinging to each other for dear life. The sound our connection makes is filthy, making me even wetter around the huge length of him. He fit me perfectly, and I never wanted this to stop. My nails dug into his arms as he continued to slide in and out of me, the feeling of him gliding against my walls almost too much to bear. I’d had sex, sure. But never sex that felt like this. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he moans, lips latching back onto mine as we sloppily kiss each other, both desperate to reach our respective climaxes. We breathe into each others mouths, foreheads pressed together as he fucks me like his life depends on it. 

I feel myself begin to throb around him, the increasing pleasure of it overwhelming. A tear leaked from the corner of my eye as he moves his hand between us to circle my clit. I grind against him, begging for the contact. 

“Are you gonna come for me, pretty girl? You gonna come on my cock?” He groans into my mouth, hands knotted in my hair. The smell of him was entirely intoxicating. I wanted to swallow him whole. 

His hand gripped my chin, pulling back to look into my eyes as I finally reach that euphoric peak, clenching around him and letting out a moan I’m sure the whole bar probably heard. 

He followed me over the edge, pumping into me at a continually messier speed, panting as he filled me with him. He paused inside me, leaning his forehead against mine as we both caught our breath. 

Slowly, he pulled out of me, jaw slack as he continued to breathe heavily, watching his cum spill out of me. He gently helped me clean myself up and pull my clothes back into place before grabbing my hand and leading me to the door. 

He unlocked it, swinging the door open to reveal two other tall males, arms crossed with shit-eating grins on both of their faces as they take in the two of us. 

“I was gonna give you shit for taking so long, but now I understand. I wouldn’t be in a rush either.” The one on the left says. He has long black hair with one side of his head shaved. He was absolutely covered in tattoos and piercings and looked like my bad boy fantasy come to life. 

“Wow, real nice, Ruhn.” Azriel says, running a hand through his hair and looking over at me nervously. 

“You are a delightful little thing,” the other one says, voice like deep silk. His crown of dark hair only made an even more stark contrast to his piercingly blue eyes. Cauldron boil me, these were three of the hottest men I’d ever seen in my entire life. How had I managed to stumble upon this? 

“I could say the same,” I say, one eyebrow cocking up as I looked back and forth between the three of them with a sly grin. 

“Consider me free real estate, sweetheart. I’m here for the taking,” The long haired one- Ruhn said. Azriel threw him an incredulous look.

“Can I not sample the whole menu?” I ask Azriel, running my fingers lightly down his arm. He shivers under my touch, looking at me like he doesn’t know what to make of me. And truthfully, I’m not sure I know what to make of myself right now.

“Scared she’ll like us more, Az?” The blue eyed male jokes with a wink at their friend. The dynamic here was most certainly flirty from all four parties. Oh gods. Four. Was I really about to walk myself into what I thought I was? This was all so out of character but I was so godsdamned turned on at the thought of these three males all over me.

“There’s enough of me to go around,” I say, skin nearly buzzing with the sexual tension passing between us all. 

“I mean, Dorian, your apartment is two blocks away. If you’re serious of course. Don’t feel pressured, please.” Azriel says, eyes slightly weary at the idea, as if he was scared I was going to be offended by them even asking. And in any normal situation, I probably would have been. But not with these three mouthwatering men surrounding me. 

“What? Are you scared, Azriel? I don’t bite unless you ask me to,” I wink at him, and Dorian lets out a shocked laugh as he surveys me, eyebrows raised in peaked curiosity. As if I was some creature he wanted to explore and mine for secrets. 

“I think I’ll like you better with a gag in your mouth,” he purrs, leaning in to lick a stripe up my neck. “So I would watch the attitude, pretty girl.” 

Now it’s my turn to act shocked. I was utterly throbbing at his words and the idea that these three males wanted me. “Let’s go then.”

The boys turned on their heels and headed for the exit with zero hesitation, directly to Dorian’s apartment.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My filthy girl,” Azriel murmurs to me, pulling my hair up off my neck for better access. In front of me was Ruhn, on his knees and kissing my hip bones, slowly making his way to my most sensitive areas. 

All of us were entirely too clothed. I intended to remedy that issue.

“Take your clothes off. I want to see all of you,” I pant, locking eyes with each of them in request. With looks of devouring lust, they all happily obliged, each stripping entirely naked. And gods please have mercy, they were all just as well endowed as Azriel. 

“Your turn, princess,” a voice whispers into the ear on the opposite side of where Azriel sucked on my neck. Chills raced across my skin at the seduction in Dorian’s voice. He lifted my shirt over my head, revealing my laced bra underneath. 

“Somebody wanted to get fucked tonight, didn’t they?” Dorian grinned against my shoulder, fingers moving to smoothly unlatch my bra, sliding the straps down my shoulders and allowing the garment to slide to the floor. 

I felt Ruhn’s mouth cover my heat over my panties and my knees almost bucked out from under me. My hands grabbed onto his shoulder for support and he laughed against me, the sound a rumble that sent vibrations through my aching core. Ruhn stood then, picking me up and walking me over to the bed. I lay horizontally across the bed and all three males approach me like predators approaching prey. 

“Scoot up and let your head hang off the bed,” Dorian coaxed and I obliged. He rubbed my cheek in approval. “Now be a good girl and spread your legs for me.”

I let out a soft moan at his words. I slid my panties down my legs, throwing them across the room to where I suspected my clothes were. I laid my head back, looking up at Dorian who stood on the side of the bed, hips directly in front of my face. My eyes locked with his as I oh so slowly parted my legs, baring myself to them all. They all let out groans, moving in to be closer to me. 

Ruhn settled back between my legs, blowing air across my cunt, making me squirm for him. He then with no warning latched his hot, wet mouth to me and I let out a string of expletives that could make a sailor blush. His tongue parted me, expertly swirling my clit and humming against me. 

Azriel’s mouth lowers to my nipple, tongue swirling and teeth grazing. My back arched, and as soon as it did, Dorian placed the tip of his cock at my lips, silently commanding me to open my mouth for him. I did, tongue swirling his tip sensually as I did, and his hips bucked up into my mouth. My hands reached up to grip his thighs, encouraging him to fuck my face. 

He pauses for a moment to catch his breath, but that simply won’t do. I want him writhing and crying out for me. I swirl my tongue again, sucking on him. He involuntarily bucks into my mouth again and sighs in exasperation, giving up on trying to be gentle when that was clearly not what I was after.  

“Tap… tap my thigh if you need a break,” he pants, thrusting into my mouth. Upset at my attention being divided, Ruhn works me harder, tongue plunging in and out of my hole. He pulls back and pulls the flat of his tongue all the way up me in achingly slow passes. I grind my hips on his face, earning a moan of approval from him as he gripped my hips with force, pushing me harder into his mouth. 

I hear male groaning as I open my eyes, noticing Dorian’s arm reaching over me and to the side. He fisted Azriel’s cock, pumping him up and down as he fucked into my mouth. Holy. Fucking. Shit. The idea of the two of them working to pleasure each other made me want to turn molten. And Ruhn chuckles against me as he felt me throbbing against his face. 

“I think our dirty girl likes watching you pumping Az’s cock, Dor.” He grinned before reattaching his mouth to my core. 

“Yeah, pretty girl? You like watching him getting me off while I’m watching them eat your pretty cunt and fuck your throat?” Azriel purred, hands running down my stomach in exploration. Goosebumps covered my flesh and I sucked Dorian harder, dragging a feral groan from his lips. 

I came on Ruhn’s face, crying out as he rode me through my high. My noises cause Dorian to shake, his cum spilling down my throat as he shuddered in pleasure. 

Ruhn stood up and leaned over me, balancing on one arm. He brushed his thumb along my lower lip. “Think you can take all of us at once, sweetheart?”

I nod eagerly, making him give a ferocious grin. His thumb swiped a bit of Dorian’s cum from the corner of my mouth, raising it to his own lips and tasting it. He hummed at the taste. These men must share each other, and quite often to be this comfortable bedding a female together and engaging in mutual pleasure. The idea of it was so hot. 

Ruhn circled the bed until he was by my head. “Scoot back and get on your hands and knees, baby.” I obeyed, doing as he said. He climbed onto the bed in front of me on his knees, cock lined up with my mouth. I glided the flat of my tongue against the tip of him, looking up at him from under my lashes. His eyes turned dark with lust. 

I felt fingers at my entrance and turned to find Dorian and Azriel behind me. Dorian climbed onto the bed next to me, sliding his body underneath mine, my legs straddling his. He reached up, gently pulling my hips down onto his. We both moaned as my soaking cunt slid across his swollen cock. I rub myself against him, enjoying the glide and feel of my clit against him. He coaxed me, pulling my nipple into his mouth and biting down gently.

“That’s it. Good girl. Use my cock and get yourself off, baby. Come for me.” His words sent lighting bolts to my core, having me a throbbing panting mess in under a minute. I came again, this time so hard I thought I saw stars. Dorian lifted my hips again to line himself up with my entrance and sliding me down onto him with a growl. 

I felt Azriel’s fingers at my backside, gently pressing in one lubed finger, and then adding another, preparing me to take him and Dorian at the same time. Once he feels I’m properly worked up, he pushes into me with a groan I was certain could be heard down the street. 

The two of them fucked into me relentlessly, the feeling of them so full and so tight I couldn’t think straight. Ruhn rubbed the side of my face soothingly, allowing me to adjust to the feeling of Azriel and Dorian before pushing his cock back into my mouth, prompting me to suck him off. The four of us worked each other in tandem, the sounds filling the room utterly obscene, and only fueling my arousal. I felt Dorian and Azriel begin to twitch inside me, the two of them nearing climax at the same speed, which spurred mine onwards, gripping around them tighter as I groaned around Ruhn’s cock, the vibrations causing him to spill down my throat. 

We all slowly untangled from each other, collapsing in a messy pile trying to catch out breath. We were all so sweaty and exhausted. 

“So… same time next week?” We all laugh, nodding in agreeance.

[lunarsun12]

Mama Seonghwa Down

Masterlist

It was 10am, Yeosang was getting ready and went to the kitchen to make food. Until he found seonghwa unconscious on the floor, with a spatula in his hand and wearing an apron. Yeosang when he saw Seonghwa called the Ambulance. As well an angry Hongjong…no one hurts his Hwa.

Who is the culprit?

Back At Ateez Chat

Today 19:00

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Kids!! Own up who put your Eomma in hospital!

Yunho🐶: It wasn’t me, Mingi and Yeosang. We will never do these type of stuff!!

Jongho🍎: Excuse me? What about me?

Yunho🐶: I stand by what I said

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: I swear Wooyoung. If you sent your Eomma to hospital by making San going hulk mode. I’m disowning you!!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: San isn’t here…? He is on a sleepover with Younghoon Hyung

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Plussss i didn’t put the oldie in hospital! It is low even for me!!

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Welll? Wait Mingi did you accidentally knocked him out. As he thought he was the mafia?

Mingi🦄: No! I don’t use violence unlike Jongho. I just ran away!!

Yeosang🍗: I just found him unconscious this morning. Whilst holding a spatula in his hand

Yeosang🍗: It got to be Jongho or Wooyoung. They wake up the earliest out of all us

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Whatever pranks! You kids are playing. It isn’t funny!! You all better confess before I take all you into my room. For a ‘special’ talk

Yunho🐶: Not that! Jongho own up!!

Jongho🍎: For the last time! It is not me!!

Yeosang🍗: Who else in this household? Have the capacity to knock over a grown adult

Mingi🦄: You even sent hitmans!! After Appa!! It gotta be you!!

Jongho🍎: I NEVER SENT HITMANS! IT WAS MEANT TO SCARE EOMMA BUT SOMEONE GOT THE WRONG MESSAGE SENT HIS FANS TO THE WRONG PERSON!!

Jongho🍎: Wooyoung and San! How dare you double cross me!! I have to sit and listen to Eomma lecturing about controlling my anger!!

Yunho🐶: Don’t blame them!! For once it is not their fault….can’t believe I am saying this

Yeosang🍗: Yunho has a point. Wooyoung has been tolerable ever since San is gone

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Jongho stop making things up! You asked and we delivered. Should have kept anger inside…

There was smash from the kitchen, as well with a big yell saying it is not fair.

Mingi🦄: Wait a second? Jongho has tears…?

Yunho🐶: That not tears Mingi…Jongho is mad. Wooyoung stop teasing him. I will sort him out

Few hours later…

San🗻: WHO MADE MY BABY BEAR CRY!!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: San…I am not baby bear…

San🗻: Why did I get a very upset call from Jongho. Saying he is getting bullied by you all?

Yunho🐶: We didn’t bully! He is the obvious culprit!!

San🗻: Locking him in the bathroom, until he confesses…?

Mingi🦄: Yeosang! I told you don’t be so extreme!

Yeosang🍗: It’s the only way! To get him to spill!

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Yah! Since when you got buddy with Jongho!! You supposed to my bestie!!

San🗻: What kind of bestie, who stole my turtle and released it. Letting Yunho take the blame (See San Missing Turtle In Masterlist)

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: How did you find out…? Hang on a second! THAT JONGHO!!!

San🗻: Sorry, Wooyoung you have been demoted to my third favourite…

Yunho🐶: It was Wooyoung….i genuinely thought Yeosang lost it…

Yeosang🍗: Jongho is stubborn. He refused to admit he did it…

San🗻: If I get anymore phone calls from Jongho of him being upset. I will be berry berry angry

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Kids? Seems Jongho is the culprit again….

Seonghwa🌸: No it is not the kids! You owe me an apology!

Yunho🐶: Appa? No this tiny guy can knock Eomma down

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: I’m not short!! Seonghwa, I didn’t do anything

Seonghwa🌸: I may have blacked out! But my memory in tack! You were half asleep and thought I was a thief and immediately punched me in the stomach

Hongjong🏴‍☠️: Ohhhh that was you! Sorry my bad!

Yeosang🍗: I told you all! It wasn’t Jongho heh heh

Mingi🦄: You, locked jongho until he confess! I feel so bad

Jongho🍎: I told you all!! You all started to gang up on me! Only San and Mingi were on my side!!

Yunho🐶: Mingi? You said, you believe us!

Mingi🦄: I don’t want to end up like Jongho

Wooyoung🐈‍⬛: Jongho sleep with eye open now..

[notafunkiller]

It Just Happened

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Jennifer Walters

Fandoms: Daredevil, She-Hulk Attorney At Law

Summary: Matt lets his beard grow after hearing Jen compliment Foggy about his.

Warnings: Language (a little)

Links: AO3

It’s not like it was Matt’s intention to grow a beard. It just… happened. So it’s not like he expected Jen to comment about it as she did with Foggy two weeks ago when she came to the office. She was walking around the room, waiting for Matt to finish so they could go out and have lunch, when Foggy came to say hi and hug her. Matt sensed their happiness right away and paused the tape he was listening to make a comment, but right before he could, Jen spoke: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this, Fog.” She giggled. She giggled! “The beard is really cool. You look amazing.”

Of course, this isn't the reason he has a big beard now for maybe the second time in his life. And he also hasn't tried to show it off —unsuccessfully— with every opportunity he had.

The beard is really cool. You look amazing… Matt sighs. Apparently, only Franklin Percy Nelson's beard is really cool and easy to notice. Because Jen hasn't said a word about it: no matter how much he stroked his beard in front of her, kissed her neck, or went down on her. And now he needs to shave because he has a trial in two hours. Damn it, did she really not notice? Doesn't it feel softer?

As he takes his shaving cream and razor from the bathroom closet, he hears Jen coming into the room. She smells so nice and she's wearing a suit, her hair half-tied up. He can smell the perfume pretty easily, and he realizes she's planning to come with him.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He turns around to face her, and her heart beats a little faster when she sees him. He hasn't changed into his suit yet, so he's wearing his pajama pants and a simple —and a little transparent— T-shirt.

Jen can see his abs pretty easily, and Matt senses the change in the air.

“Hey. Preparing to shave?” She asks so casually Matt is caught unprepared.

“Y-yeah.”

“For the trial, right?” Jen moves slowly inside the bathroom, staring shamelessly at him. “I hope you don't mind that I'm coming, too. I really want to see you.”

“Yes, for the trial. And of course, I don't mind, sweetheart.” He suddenly places his hands on her hips, bringing her so close that their bodies almost collide. Then, his mouth immediately finds its way to her neck, right above the collar of her shirt, leaving wet kisses all over it. Jen can't contain her giggles when she feels him rubbing his beard on her skin, too. “Ah, Matt, you're so cute.”

Her tone is enough to make Matt curious and suspicious at the same time. “Cute?”

“Very cute.” He almost moans when he feels her fingers in his hair, pulling slightly before going down and stroking his beard.

“Jen…” He groans, his lips glued to her neck.

“I cannot believe you sometimes.” It's more like a whisper to herself, but she smirks when she feels him taking a step back. “You look amazing, baby. Really cool.”

“What?”

She sighs, seeing him so confused. “I know why you did this.” Did what? He almost asks, but there's no point in playing stupid when he has Jennifer Walters in front of him. She knows and played with him. She played him. He almost laughs. “But you don’t need to be jealous of him. You’re very hot either way, okay?”

It's not a lie… He doesn't even need to use his ‘echolocation’ to be certain. Jen never lies to him, so it's the truth. The truth for her. And Matt feels his knees getting weaker. She loves him in every shape and form, and this is something he realizes he's never experienced before. There are no ifs with Jen.

“Okay.” He needs to kiss her right now.

“Are you-” He grabs her cheeks with both of his hands and literally smashes his lips into hers in one of the greediest kisses they've ever shared, his tongue eagerly licking across her bottom lip before she finally opens her mouth to deepen the kiss.

“You can shave now.” She whispers against his lips before pulling away and slapping his ass lightly. “I'm leaving before we do something that would make us be late.”

He shakes his head, smiling before grabbing the shaving cream.

[rosemaeridream]

what if toxic!aeri invited us and her (fuckass hoarding😒) fiancé to a club (the night before the wedding, the day we actually meet him)…She refers to us as a friend (i could be more than that bae!!!) and uhhh uhhh she kisses him in front of us in eye of the crowd beneath red blaring lights, but and we just HAPPEN to catch her eyes on us before they close, focusing on the kiss instead. We got to the bathroom and uhhhh well umm she follows us. WITHOUT the (fuckass hoarder😒) husband to be with a smirk misshapen with smudged lipstick. As we hulk smash her ass into the wall, blind with jealousy as we catch a glimpse of a hickey that isn’t ours she says one last thing, fucking all morals, fucking with your sanity….i lost my track of THOUGHT DAM IT😭😭😭

But anyways😏😏 can i be 🥐 anon?🥹🙏

hoarding fiancé 😭😭 i’d say aeri’s the one leaving her stuff at his place-

anyway it’d be way more aeri’s thing to take reader to the club without telling them that he’s gonna be there. and even then they don’t really even meet him, saying hi, thinking he’s just a guy at the club

[sailorsenshishitposter]

MGR office au part 7 - a day in the life of Steven Armstrong

Armstrong lifted his finger off the button of the speaker and took a drag from his cigarette. He sat back in his office chair and rested his head in his hands. "What a mess that I've gotten myself into. I'll have to remedy this tomorrow. I can't let a scandal of this nature reach the public." It was settled. Tomorrow's lesson would be about sexual harassment in the workplace.

The next day and the four Desperado employees were sitting down in their new office. Mistral was applying her lipstick, Monsoon was checking Discord, Sundowner was drawing stick figures killing each other and Sam had his head rested on the desk while he tried to get some extra beauty sleep. The next thing they knew, Armstrong barged through the door hard enough to leave cracks in the wall (causing Sam to double jump in terror). He slammed his giant hulk like fists on the table.

"Alright everyone, I believe we all know why we're here but for those of you that don't, we had a little... incident yesterday-" Sam immediately cut in. "YOU CAME INTO MY ROOM WHILE I WAS NAKED!" Armstrong fixed his glasses. "As I was saying... due to said event, I've come to the realization that we need to have a lesson on sexual harassment in the work place." Monsoon raised his hand and interrupted. "Sir, why are we being collectively punished for your actions?"

"This isn't just about me but all of you. May I remind everyone that not one but two of you decided to come on to me? After all, I know one of you was the one that pulled the stunt that led to said event." "Please don't remind us!" cried Mistral. "All right then, let's get down to the basics. Rule one: No dating your fellow co-workers." No one was surprised to hear that.

"Number two: You know the American saying of "no shirts, no shoes, no service?" It will be like that but all cyborgs must wear their combat enhancements and all human employees shall wear their exoskeletons if they have been provided one." Sam raised his hand. "Well I was in my room. Are you telling me that I'm to bathe and sleep clothed?" In hindsight it did sound kind of ridiculous. "All right. Bathrooms and bedrooms shall be the only spaces where this rule doesn't apply."

"And finally, rule number three: No sexual or romantic relations at headquarters. That includes bringing over dates and sending sexually explicit transmissions from the building." Everyone began to protest. Everything from "This is America and I'll be damned if I let you take away my rights", "That's totally unfair! You're not my dad!" to "How am I supposed to talk to my Discord kitten now!" and "You can take away my phone privellges but I will be damned if you think that's going to stop me from obliterating that twinks ass!"

"Hey, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them." Sundowner then raised his hand. "Can we still pee in the drinking fountains?" Everyone stopped and did a double take. "Did you just say that you pee in our drinking fountains!?" The cyborg glanced down at the floor. "NO! I just meant.. if ya know... say someone ever wanted to..." No one was buying it. Armstrong then wrote down a memo about how he would need to call the janitor later.

"Alright, today's lesson is over. I expect you all to respect the rules and follow them." Armstrong then closed the door. Once he was gone, Sam then stood up. "Like that's ever going to happen. What a load of-" And then Smash Mouth began to play.

[word-for-today]

Word for today: BATHROOM!

(Sound effect) the sound made by Thor’s hammer smashing a car that the Incredible Hulk is in the middle of trying to hit him with

[dualdashbodydotsystem]

My phone is hulked smashed in in the pizza restaurant bathroom im temporarily in D-land my only solice is my sex girl there's glass in my hands owww

[notandrewgarfieldstwitter]

December 5th, 2010. I awaken in a daze. Outside, a dog barks. Inside, a half-eaten Big Mac lies strewn across my chest and crotch. My head pounds. My stomach churns. My dog licks her private parts. We make eye contact. You could cut the awkwardness with a knife. The clock radio is going off. I smash it with the might of ten thousand Incredible Hulks. This is no time for Aerosmith. As I sit up the room spins and my insides dance. Things are going to happen and I don't have much time. My kingdom for a toiletbed. I enter the bathroom. The mirror is not my friend today. I shout ethnic slurs at it. It shouts back. We call it a draw. The toilet seat is cold. It seems to sense what I need. It's always been there for me, never judging. I rest my head. The worst appears to be over. "Huzzah!" I shout to no one. Outside, a dog barks. Inside, a half-eaten Big Mac waits to be assembled.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader) (Series Masterlist)

Chapter 1

Summary : The year is 2012, Loki picks up the tesseract in an attempt to escape from the clutches of Avengers and his brother Thor only to end up in a tiny studio appartment in Minesotta, the occupant being none other than you. You reluctantly agree to hide and help the crazy god of mischief and terrorism wondering why you were even thinking about helping a fugitive?

Warning: 18+ This series will contain smut in the later chapters, Soft loki alert, y/n bein y/n, mention of ecstasy and being high.

His head was pounding as he came back to consciousness. His body was threatening to give out any moment, his vision seemed blurry when he opened his eyes, the last thing he remembered was picking up the tesseract because those Avengers were foolish enough to drop the case carrying the precious cube.

"Morons" he mumbled as he got up from the floor, he immediately took off the muzzle framed over his mouth and the handcuffs from the wrist, the tech was definitely destroyed now.

"Shoddy Stark technology" he mumbled before he noticed that the tesseract was a few feet away from him so he looked into his surroundings. Where in the name of hel was he? His eyes circled around, it seemed like a room or that's what he assumed, there was a kitchenette right behind him while he could clearly see the bed on the other end, there was a closet next to the bed and a dresser, a small ugly sofa was in the middle of the room. He tried to look around but all he found was two doors, one led to a small attached bathroom while the other one had a peephole which he assumed was the door to the outside world. 

He spotted a screen in front of the sofa, it was kept at the opposite end of the ugly sofa, few feet adjacent to the main door.

He was familiar with these screens, they had it all around the Stark tower. He stepped towards it and tried to turn it on but the buttons didn't work, he then noticed the loose wire that he probably needed to attach to the plug on the wall so that's what he did.

The loud voice of the newscaster made him jump in his spot, he looked like a squeaky mouse at the moment, thanking the norns nobody was there to witness his humiliation. 

And then he saw himself all over the screen. Apparently each and every person on midgard was witnessing his humiliation. Those Avengers had leaked every little footage they had of him, even the one where he was smashed by the Hulk repeatedly.

"The Asgardian terrorist Loki who was being taken back to Asgard has supposedly fled from the Starks tower, brother Thor claims he has no idea where Loki could be" Loki chuckled as he heard that 

"Of Course he doesn't, I myself have no clue where I am" he heard a knock on the door and felt frozen in his spot. He tried to turn the screen off but it only got louder and louder so he punched the screen with his fist and well, it was broken but at least it wasn't making that awful noise. He heard the knock again so he walked slowly towards the door, making sure his footsteps were as nimble as a feline.

"Y/n? Are you there?" He heard a feminine voice. Who was y/n? He peeped from the peephole and spotted a middle aged woman. She knocked again but he didn't respond ofcourse, he watched her peeping into the hole so he took a step back, he hoped it only worked one way.

There's no way he could have gotten out there without being caught, he figured he could morph his appearance but there was a risk involved especially if he was walking around with the immense source of power that was the tesseract. Besides, where would he even go? It's not as if he knew much about how midgard worked. Maybe he should just wait for this y/n person. For some reason that seemed reasonable to him, he was extremely exhausted and ravenous, he didn't even remember the last time he had a proper meal. 

Looking around the kitchen he found the refrigerator and raided it. He found a box that had chopped vegetables mixed with a type of meat so he munched on it as quickly as he could. He felt extremely warm too, the weather of midgard wasn't best suited for him, he wanted to check his appearance so he walked towards the mirror, looking at his disheveled state he wondered why he even entertained that idea.

"Hideous looking monster" 

He mumbled but then he heard the main door lock twisting and it made his heart leap in his chest. He circled around the spot in a futile attempt to hide but it was just one big room, where he was supposed to hide? The closet of course. 

"Mrs. Geller, how are you?" He heard a feminine voice again but he knew it didn't belong to the woman he had seen, it sounded sweeter in comparison.

"I'm good my dear, oh you know i heard your tv running in the afternoon so I was wondering if you returned early" He recognised that voice. Was that old woman spying on this particular apartment all the time? 

"Are you sure it came from my place? I mean I just got back" he heard the sweet voice again. This voice must belong to the y/n person he figured. He was oddly grateful to not end up in Mrs. Geller's apartment.

He heard those voices going back and forth and finally the main door unlocked. 

"I'll just accompany you in case there's a burglar here" Mrs. Geller said and you gave out a little laugh. The laugh sounded even sweeter to him.

"I'm so thankful for you, really..thank you for checking up on me but nobody is here..seeeee?" You told her and she looked around before she left.

"Have a good night Mrs Geller" you quickly shut the door behind her. Taking a deep breath you sighed but then your phone started to ring and it made you groan, you couldn't catch a break today.

"Hey mommm..just a sec" you greeted her in a sing-song manner as you made your way towards the closet. Loki's heartbeat sped as the footsteps approached so he immediately casted an invisibility spell, he wondered why did he even hide in the closet instead of just using the invisibility charm in the first place.

He closed his eyes as the closet door opened and something hit him right in the face. He wanted to squeal but decided against it, once the closet door closed again he inspected the garment that was thrown on his face. It was a brassiere, ladies on Asgard used to wear these too. Huh, why women must torment themselves everywhere he wondered.

Another boring day where nothing interesting happened to you or for you. You were going to turn thirty in a few days and you could feel your life slipping past your fingers. Every person you had ever known in your life were off doing their thing, being successful in their chosen careers, getting married, raising babies and what not while you were stuck in your personal as well as professional life. 

"Mom..you know the attack happened in New York right so quit worrying?" Loki heard you talking to someone and you mentioned the attack, the attack that he had caused under the influence of the mind stone. 

"Whattt?" You walked towards the refrigerator to take out the chicken salad that you had prepared last night. Your mom just told you that the terrorist had escaped from the Stark tower, it was all over the news "Okayy okay calm down it's not as if he would come here of all places and just attack me in my apartment you know?" You chuckled but your eyes widened in anger as you saw the empty box of Salad. Did you eat it last night? You were too high to remember it. "Look mom I'll call you later, gotta go..food emergency"  

As Loki stepped out of the closet he saw a woman in front of the refrigerator, well he saw your jeans cladded plumped arse, you had a white shirt on along with it. And then you turned around. All he heard in that moment was a loud scream that felt deafening to him.

"Stop screaminggg" 

There was a man in your apartment. A strange weird looking man, Mrs. Geller was right, oh you were going to die and your soul would haunt this apartment forever. Serves you right for wasting all this time you had to fulfill your dreams and goals in life.

Now you always thought of yourself as the person who'd choose to fight in such a situation but you were getting a reality check now. You had no fight in you, you were frozen in your spot waiting for your impending death by the hands of a burglar. You both kept staring at each other but you finally gasped when you heard the knock on the door. 

"Listen to me mortal ..uhhh lady. I do not want to cause any harm so I'd appreciate it if you're just willing to listen to me..just for a moment?" you looked at him dumbfounded, you wanted to run but he was standing near the door and you figured he'd grab you if you even tried that. You grabbed a knife from the knife stand and threw it right at him, which he caught with his mere fingers. Ofcourse. Who did you think you were? Hawkeye? 

"Brilliant of you to pass the weaponry into the hands of a supposed intruder" He inspected the knife and then you watched it disappear but for some reason you chose to ignore it, maybe he had a superpower, you were living in a world where anything could happen to anyone except you ofcourse. You were as basic as they come. 

"What do you want? I have nothing alright, no valuables, I'm almost broke, almost is the key word here, if you want money I can..just umm transfer it to you, do you have Venmo or any other apps? I also have weed if you want that" He looked at you confused before he attempted to walk closer but you grabbed another knife as quickly as you could and took a step back.

"Stay right there mister or..or–" 

"Or what? You'd gift me another weapon that I can add to my collection?" You glared at him. How dare he make fun of you? This was your house. Did he say he had a collection of weapons? You looked at him carefully as he stepped closer, your eyes widened in realization. He was no thief. No no, He was the war criminal. How come your mom was right this time?

"Oh my god you ..you are…you are… whattt..whhyyy?" Your voice came out all squeaky and it made him smile. 

"Good to know I am popular in midgard now. Would you say my popularity exceeds that of my dullard brother Thor?" 

Thor? He said Thor right? So he was the guy who attacked New York. A terrorist was galavanting in your humble abode, great, just amazing. 

"Are you going to kill me?" You asked him as you wiped the sweat beads off your forehead. Your breathing has gotten shallower and you were close to passing out.

"No. But I need you to cooperate with me here, I am just as baffled about the situation as you are lady" he answered immediately, you had seen the leaked videos of him in Stuttgart, he was a cruel man, he was definitely going to kill that old man but the Avengers intervened thankfully. You were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Loki from Asgard was standing in your studio apartment talking to you. Were you still high? You hoped so.

"What ummm how uhh i mean what are you doing here?" You asked him as you crossed your arms. Maybe you should call the Avengers.

"I do not know, the tesseract brought me here, it's eerie but I have a feeling that foolish Stark was up to something" he looked to the side as he thought about it.

"Hah" you gave him a fake laugh and he scrunched his brows. He was kind of attractive in the "I'm a sexy murderer" kind of way. 

"What is so amusing?" 

"No it's just..we just call him iron man you knowww" you mumbled under your breath. He could see your body trembling with fear so he approached you, probably wasn't the best idea but he really wanted to put you at ease.

"Look I know what you think of me and I do not blame you for your perceptions but I mean no harm here, I don't want to hurt you and I'm not going to, I am giving you my word" he seemed sincere but there's no way you were going to believe the words of an escaped terrorist.

"Aren't you Loki? The loki? God of lies and trickery and stuff? Why would I believe you?" You asked him so he smiled again. Cute smile. No you stop it. 

"You know what, I will just sit down here-" he conjured a chair out of thin air and your eyes widened "And you can tie me up if that would make you feel safer around me" 

"Huh wouldn't you want that?" You snickered and his face flushed in response.

He passed you a rope, by which you meant, he threw it right in your face but you caught it. Okay you were starting to think now, if he really wanted to hurt you he would have, he has magical powers plus the knife that you gave him like a moron, there's no way you could fight him if he really wanted to hurt you. Right? 

"Why did you attack us? What did we do to you?" 

"I did not attack you?" He looked at you confused. "Oh you meant the humankind, that's sweet of you to address yourself as one for all, very sentimental. Anyway it is a long long story, do you want me to narrate it all..from the beginning?" he chuckled nervously.

"It's just..you don't seem that evil..why did you hurt those people?" his eyes teared up as you said that. He knew why he hurt those people, he just wished he was able to stop himself before he did. 

"I didn't want to, I don't enjoy hurting innocent creatures" he said to you and the sad little voice affected you. So you were really going to ignore him using the words creatures for humans right? "Your name is y/n i assume?" 

He asked you so you nodded.

"What do you want, be honest" 

"Just let me stay here until I figure this out" 

"No no no no no no..Why would I allow a fugitive to stay with me? I'll be locked up too for I don't know.. abiding you and shit" you huffed

"Did you intend to use the word Abetting?" he looked at you all confused and the embarassment was enough to make you want to die.

"Look mister"

"Call me Loki"

"Mister Loki.. Prisoners under 30 isn't the magazine I have aspired to be featured in all my life.. so I need you to get out of here okay?"

"There is no way those incompetent men in costumes could find me here and-" 

"They are heroes, and there's a woman in the team, her name is black widow ..they saved lives today..they–" you interrupted him and he interrupted your interruption,

 "In case they do find me, just tell them that I was the one keeping you hostage over here, they'll believe you in a jiff i promise" he winked as he finished his sentence. You had to be crazy to allow this right? You had to be insane that you were already starting to believe his words.

"Tie..tie yourself up and let me think" 

You passed him the rope and he used the magic to tie himself up.

"That's great..you think I'm dumb..huhh? if you can use magic to tie yourself up then you can get yourself out too" he smiled as you said that. Why did he find this mortal.. adorable in an endearing sort of way? 

"Well why don't you do it then? I can't use magic if I don't see the knots myself" he told you so you thought about it. You walked towards him and he conjured another rope for you, as you reached closer you noticed the cuts and bruises on his face, he seemed hurt. He looked up at you and you tried to avoid his hypnotic gaze, why did he have to look so good? He was the sexiest man you had ever laid your eyes upon. Why did he have to be a criminal though?

After you tied him up you walked towards the tv, and that's when you noticed the broken screen so you turned around and glared at him. You watched him waving his fingers and the tv was fixed magically, ofcourse.

"Huhhh you will come in handy..if you know what I mean" you laughed as you turned the tv on.

"I actually do not know what you mean" 

You saw the news of him escaping and his brother Thor has appealed to everyone that Loki was dangerously manipulative and thirsty for blood so if anyone was to spot him anywhere, there was a helpline number they could call. 

"Oh my god there's a number." you jumped up and down in excitement and relief, what if Thor was right and he was manipulating you? Ofcourse Thor was right, he was his brother. You had made up your mind to call but when you looked at him, there was the saddest, mopiest, cutest look you had ever seen on a man's face. 

"I can not win" he mumbled under his breath so you walked towards him.

"What did you say?" You asked him and when he looked at you, his eyes were welled up. 

"Very well then, you can call them if you want" he told you so you walked towards the kitchen and picked up your phone. The look on his face was still bothering you though. What if there was a story behind what he did? No no.. people got hurt, he was evil, call the bloody Avengers and get yourself out of this problematic situation. But what if he was not evil? Iron man harmed so many lives before he became a hero. You felt crazy playing this mental circus with yourself.

"I must be losing my mind" you mumbled as you put the phone down on the kitchen counter "Okay fine..but if you're even thinking about hurting innocent people again let me tell you mister I'll keep that number on my speed dial and I will call it asap" you crossed your arms as you walked towards him and yelled at him so he nodded like a child

"Okay good..ummm are you like hungry or something..oh wait you must not be hungry since you ate my salad" you glared at him and it made him smile again. You'd rather see that then the glum look on his face.

"I do apologize for my ill-mannered conduct, should have asked for permission before I fed on that well seasoned grass you had prepared for yourself " you rolled your eyes at the comment

"No need to judge..I'm trying to lose fat here" 

"You don't have to" 

"Really? Because lyla keeps telling me that I'm getting chubbier everyday" 

"Well this Lyla needs to shut her muzzle then" your face flushed as he looked at you intently, was he checking you out? Maybe In your dreams.

"I'll untie you, you can go shower.. you smell like blood and burned leather..the bathroom is there" he chuckled as you said that. You weren't wrong about that. 

"No need to untie me and I truly appreciate the offer" he flexed his arms and you gasped as the rope was shredded in pieces. He could have gotten out anytime he wanted. 

"May i?" He raised his hand forward so you placed your fingers on his large ass hands that seemed to be the size of minnesota. He brought your hand up to his lips and gave it a chaste kiss. 

"You're very kind my lady, thank you, I won't disappoint you i promise" he mumbled as he turned around and stepped inside the bathroom. You kept staring at the pieces of ropes all over. He could have gotten out and stop you from calling the Avengers but he didn't. He could have hurt you but he didn't. Huh 

"Wash your hair ..you look like a pine tree" You yelled and you heard him laughing at the comment. That was beautiful. How dare he?

What were you getting yourself into here?

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Here we go folks 😁

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72

@nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @littlespaceyelf @fictive-sl0th @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee

[aurlworthfightingfor]

Me: I need to use the bathroom after this truck

Manager: of course

Me: I’m also gonna get a snack because I’m about to hulk out

Manager: well it’s one or the other

Me: *silently fuming*

Eat my whole ass. I already trained myself to smash my snack between scanning packages. I’m doing both. Fucker made me over flow my pad because of missing the chance to use the bathroom before this truck. Fuck him

[kissabowl]

[despairprey-blog]

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