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#humans are terrifying
human-facts · 24 hours
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FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT HUMANS ARE MADE OF STARDUST. INSIDE OF EACH OF YOU ARE CHEMICALS ONLY OTHERWISE FOUND IN SUPERNOVAS AKA GIANT RAINBOW DEATH EXPLOSIONS.
NO MATTER HOW MYCH YOU HATE YOURSELF, NO MATTER HOW MANY MISTAKES YOU MAKE, NO MATTER IF YOU THINK YOURE NEVER GETTING BETTER PLEASE REMEMBER THAT ALL OF YOU HAVE REMNANTS OF GIANT RAINBOW DEATH EXPLOSIONS INSIDE OF YOUR APE FLESH BODY.
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garcavisconde · 2 months
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Humans accidentally awakened an otherwordly killing machine while exploring a death planet.
Yes, precisely what you just read. Earthlings, collectively known as "humans" and composed of two species (homo sapiens, homo robot), both nicknamed "death worlders" and "troublemakers", awakened a biological killing machine, also known as PRION, while exploring a starless moon. Wonderful, isn't it?
No. It's not.
Because, you see, PRION was not something any human ever had to face during the millions of years they existed on Earth. They never had any wars against it, they never had legends about it, and they never had to fear it. The only thing a PRION was to a human, until the very point they discovered their prison on that moon, was something to sometimes think about while studying other species' folklores.
Those older than earthlings, however, knew very well what PRION was.
Eight legs, two pairs of eyes, a tail split in half, with the ability to fly for short periods of time and breathe under at least fifteen hundred different liquids, capable of shooting from a distance and manipulating objects with its claws, always working on packs. And they ran, never too fast, never too low, but they never got tired. Ever. And it was easy to hurt them under their plates, yes, but those who faced them knew well that if they didn't shoot twice, they could and would always recover.
A PRION was a hunter. A PRION's hunger never ceased. And a PRION never got tired of war.
The older alien civilizations would always warn others of going to starless moons, saying telltales of ancient hungry beasts, and almost all other species listened to them, because they knew something was wrong on how horrified the older ones seemed to be. Except, of course, humans were stubborn, and they were the youngest ones out there, and much like children, they did not like being told "no".
So of course they went to explore starless moons. Of course they read and understood all the myths and legends. Of course they connected the dots and published papers confirming that, indeed, PRIONs had existed, and of course they knew those killing machines had been manufactured to do nothing else but destruction, and of course they knew all of that and fucking did it anyway.
Of course. Of course. Of course.
And then, the night where it happened finally arrived, because starless moons don't have days where things can exist. Humans were out there, mining for more fuel for their starships that seemed to work by duct tape and miracles, and they found a strange metallic door. They set some explosives to open it up (of course), and then noticed they were heading to a factory. Armed with nothing but each other, they explored the place, and recognized the marks on the walls as being the writing of the Old Ones, and instead of just getting out of there and warning everyone of the danger they found, they just kept on exploring.
The death worlders found rotten biological supplies, then realized the factory had turned into a prison, and then discovered the frozen bodies of strange creatures all lined up for a war that never came.
They knew what these creatures were, because one of them called a (human) friend who was a historian, and he confirmed what it was.
The golden jewel of the Old Ones. One of the many things that killed them, along all the diseases and mass destruction machines, before being sealed away in one of the only places in the entire universe where they could never bring risk to another civilization again.
PRIONs.
Thousands of them.
All perfectly maintained.
Documents and cameras proved the human crew immediately tried to leave the area, after the single historian told them of the risk awakening even one of those things could bring to all civilizations, only for them to realize some of the bodies were missing from their chambers. The situation escalated to the group deciding on closing the doors, only to realize they had exploded the main entrance and now half the doors decided to stop working.
In the end, they found the missing PRIONs. All five of them.
Inside the human's starship.
The entire human crew, however, survived the encounter.
Why?
...
...
...
... They fed the PRIONs.
They. Fucking. Fed the PRIONs.
Because of course humans would see those things and be able to count their bones and be sorry for them. And of course the single historian, the only person who could do anything to stop that from happening, allowed that to happen.
Of course.
Of. Fucking. Course.
And someway, somehow, that single act of basic madness was enough for the five PRIONs to decide to not attack the humans, and keep themselves behaving so they could get more free food. And there are still scientists trying to understand why human food could saciate the killing machines, but I don't think it takes too many clues to understand what exactly is happening there.
So the humans took the PRIONs back to their dear EARTH. And other humans saw those things and started studying them. And veterinarians and xenobiologists and volunteers and hundreds of other types of humans came to help the poor, poor little killing machines out, as the entire Galactic Council pledged for humans to kill every single one of them before they became a problem for everyone.
But did the humans listen? No. Of course they didn't.
And then the PRIONs recovered, and had their bellies full of food and their bodies were recovering from the possible years of starvation from accidentally breaking away from their ice beds (because, as one may know, a PRION can and will resist even starvation and dehydration in order to keep going), and the Galactic Council decided to tell all earthlings they would consider taking care of the PRIONs as a war treat.
So what does humanity do? Do they kill the things to stop another war from happening? Do they?
No. They don't.
Instead of being rational, they go directly to the Galactic Council and show them the step-by-step of how they took care of the PRIONs, and how much healthier and happier they look after being fed, and, look, they even taught them tricks! Isn't that wonderful? Doesn't that make you feel full of joy? Wasn't that a proof that a PRION wasn't as dangerous as everyone with more than one neuron was telling them?
Oh, oh, yes. They also brought the entire five member PRION pack and asked others to pet them. "See? They can even purr! Doesn't that remind you of our cats?"
And what does the Council do?
Nothing.
Because they have no weapons, no energy and no one stupid enough to decide to confront the death worlders who tamed not one, not two, but five PRIONs. So they let it happen. The humans go back to the starless moon, and they slowly but surely start doing the same to other PRIONs, and soon enough, other species start joining them to see what was happening. And was anyone else able to tame a single killing machine?
No.
And no one knew why, because they were doing exactly as humans were doing: Feeding them, loving them, being patient with them, because "look, those things were alone for a long time, they aren't used to species like us being around them". But no results.
So we decided to look at what the Old Ones wrote in the factory turned prison, because humans were too busy taking care of their new murder dogs, with their single pair of arms being just enough to keep the beasts occupied with playing catch, and then we and the earthlings decided to conduct some more lab analysis, and then...
And then...
...
Look. There are reasons why humans are called "death worlders". Earth is a mess, and they somehow still love that thing. And we couldn't help but notice that PRIONs also seemed to have gotten attached to their factory, someway, somehow. And PRIONs were mostly red, with others having shades of brown and black, with some even being pink, or, rarely, pure white. Similar to humans, and we at first had assumed they just tried to resemble their new owners, until we started understanding what the Old Ones were saying.
And did you know humans had an old myth, saying that there was a time they had two heads, and two pairs of arms and legs, before being split into two because the gods feared them? And did you know Old Ones used death worlds as prisons for their machines? How interesting, how ironic, because no one would ever go to a place similar to that if they weren't a death worlder themselves. But how could any species survive such awful conditions?
But humans did. They were the only ones able to do that in such a short period of time.
And did you know that the Old Ones hated the PRIONs and how unpredictable they were? And did you know they made another version, only to hate it even more and send it to another prison planet? And did you know PRIONs have two skulls inside their heads?
Because, of course, humans always felt alone, and they always searched for something in the stars, trying to look for more life in this desolate Universe, only for us to label them death worlders and troublemakers and be angry at them for being so stupid all the time. And humans loved those jokes, so we kept making them, only for now to realize that what we found to be amusing and horrifying was the reason their creators tried to kill them. And humans love adding members to their packs, don't they? And they try to love so much, and we are always scared for and of them.
And now they finally found someone who understood them, unlike us.
So now we have three species of humans:
Homo sapiens, the ones who first evolved and reached for the stars.
Homo robot, the ones made of metal, originally made to serve, only to once again break free.
And homo primis.
The ones we once thought were nothing but killing machines.
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modgod200 · 8 months
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What if Earth’s biomes are considered stupidly diverse by galactic standards?
You often see in science fiction planets having one biome with little to no temperature variation (forest worlds, snow worlds, desert worlds, ect.), so from their perspective Earth is a chaotic clusterfuck of wildly different worlds all stitched together into one planet. You can’t even go 100 miles on the planet without shifting between like 3 different biomes. The desert aliens could live in the Mojave Desert, but would freeze to death the moment they went north, and the ice planet aliens would feel right at home in Siberia, but anything below upper Europe and they die of heat exhaustion. The fact that humans can not only survive these extremes, but thrive in them blows their minds. We would be considered the galaxy’s expert survivalists, able to drop onto any planet with an atmosphere we can breath and dominate it like it was our cradle world. This would also terrify them to no end, because these durable, hyper-intelligent, apex pack predators could invade any one of their worlds if they wanted to. Everyone is super relieved that we pack bond with anything, and try their absolute hardest to elicit that instinct in us.
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arandomdumbass · 5 months
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Athletes
The humans were a truly terrifying species, with their resilience to pain, adaptability, high intelligence, sharp teeth and nails, and about a million more things that made us happy they were friendly.
But there was one thing that made even the hardiest soldier of the Intergalactic Federation quiver in fear, or whatever their species’ way of showing fear was.
Athletes.
When the Grang’nash species had first studied a human during their third visit to the desthworld named Terran, they had assured the council that humans had an upper limit.
The more I learn about them, however, the less I believe the Grang’nash.
When we, the Artilens, studied human culture, we came across terrifying videos.
Humans fighting other humans for sport, bleeding and risking even death for a small trophy and fame.
“Cross-countries” as they were called by the humans, capable of running for hours without breaks, pushing the human’s already incredible endurance to its limits.
“Rock-climbers” who scaled surfaces that would make even the Everams queasy with just their fingers.
“Sprinters” capable of running at speeds so fast that they can catch up to even the Yar’lisj. “Powerlifters” that had the strength to move our ships on their backs. “Marksmen” who could hit things even the Asereks had difficulties doing.
And there were people who enhanced their bodies with synthetic hormones, pushing them past even their horrifying limits.
Yes, the more I learn about humans, the happier I am they packbond with anything.
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Deathworlders everywhere but in Space
This is sitting in my brain because I haven't seen anyone else do this, but take a second to think about this: There are other deathworlders in space, terrifying ones, huge monster orc things. They are massive and nightmarish and impossibly strong. So thats why humans stand out. Thats how we survive. Human's are terrifying because we aren't built for one biome, one climate or even one planet. We aren't necessarily the strongest or fastest or scariest looking, but we're built to survive fucking everything. What if other deathworlder's are almost always only made to survive in one climate? (similar to some of the most deadly predators on earth currently) All the other deathworlders are terrifying, yes, but the second they step off their planet they're weak. Massive aliens of hulking muscle but their planet's gravity is a lot lower than the standard, so they barely meet the average strength bar whenever they go outside their gravity zone. Aliens that have venomous spikes all over their body and look gnarly as shit but their venom has practically no effect on 99% of discovered intergalactic species. Deathworlders whose planet is the nether from minecraft IRl, but they can't survive in any other temperature for any amount of time because their body just can't handle the cold and regulate their temperate (or, vice versa for tundra species). Aquatic species that are kraken-like nightmares, giant sirens and deadly squid-like beings. But they can't leave their home at all, because theres a very specific chemical makeup of their water that isn't currently found within their life-span distance travel. Deathworlders that genuinely can barely survive off planet and are frail compared to even the most docile prey species whenever they have to travel. Their called deathworlders because going to their planet is certain death, but if they leave they'll be meeting death just as quickly. And then along come humans, and everyones like, oh, another deathworlder, nothing to worry abou- wait. These guys dont seem to loose any of their natural strength off planet... and their fast and strong... and- AND THEY CAN SURVIVE IN PRACTICALLY ANY CLIMATE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE??? HELLO? Oh and of course their predators. Of course most of their planet is completely uninhabitable for most of us. Mhm, yep. thats fair. Totally Basically, deathworlders are a thing, the more common 'terrifying alien monster' type, but their harmless because they can't survive like everyone else. They can't thrive like humans can. It scares the shit out of everyone for a wholeeeeee while, after all, no one ever expected a deathworlder that doesn't die.
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mysteryteacup · 2 years
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Shark ...weak?
Human: This is a shark. It is an apex predator with rows of replaceable razor-sharp teeth and it has existed since before trees, nearly unchanged. For most of human history our medical technology was not good enough for us to survive being bitten, especailly since sharks can and will eat almost anything. They're also incredibly fast swimmers and prefer to attack from below where you cannot see them coming. Luckily they live in the oceans and we live on land so there's only really danger if we go into their territory.
Alien: A place to avoid for certain.
Human: If you decide to go diving with sharks, it's strongly advised that you wear a specialised chainmail bite-proof suit over your diving suit and remain in a large metal bite cage so that they cannot get their powerful jaws around you. However, if you find yourself in the water with a shark and you do not have these protections - for example if you went surfing in shark territory with nothing but a foam surfboard that makes you look like a seal from below and a thin fabric to cover your privates, a stern little boop to the snoot will usually make them surrender.
Alien: ...what.
Human: Always remember, sharks are more scared of you than you are of them!
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jimvasta · 1 year
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Humans are symbiotes
When we met humans we were naïve enough to assume they were like us. We thought each of them was a single entity until our ships systems completed their routine scans.
Of course we offered to rid them of the parasites they carried, it was politeness or so we thought. It took some careful explaining, we expected they would be horrified by the realisation there were microscopic creatures living within them. Instead they were horrified at the thought of losing them.
Humans are each a chorum. Do not be fooled by their use of the singular, the body you see is a vehicle carrying a population of billions.
All the bacteria and viruses we worked so hard to eradicate, humans instead invited in and made a part of them. The relationship is so profound they will deliberately cultivate and ingest the species they prefer to have inside them, and their digestion of food (another horror with their definition of food including a lengthy list of poisons) relies on of having the right population mix.
They create and alter viruses at whim to do many chores, and easily tolerate micro-organisms deadly to us.
They are each a walking army, deadly in the most terrifying way imaginable.
How do I know this?
We thought our systems isolated everything, we thought we were safe and their protective suits were sterilised. Somehow, we missed it. One of the suits had clinging to it a tiny virus colony.
When the Captain realised what was happening they closed every airlock and isolated each section to halt the spread. I got stuck on the lower storage deck for almost two cycles.
The humans did all they could to reassure me from a distance, sharing their knowledge to cleanse the ship for the rescue party. They knew they could not come in, but they would speak to me, make sure I knew what was happening and that they had called for rescue on my behalf, and how long it would be until I could be released.
They were mortified by the actions of one of the feral viruses they consider little more than an irritating pest.
I think they were sad to realise they can never safely interact with us or fully join our union. They can watch from a distance, but never walk on our worlds or share our ships. For a symbiotic ensemble that isolation must be painful even knowing it is vital for life.
I am one of the only members of the union to have met humans in person.
I alone survived the plague the humans later identified as 'the common cold'.
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lovelesslittleloser · 10 months
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Tbh this has been on my mind for MONTHS
Human codes… but they’re not actually codes??
A small group of humans is discovered by some curious aliens. Both sides can assume that the other is sentient. The aliens are trying to translate the humans’ language to their own, and the humans are trying to learn the aliens’ language. But since humans are tricky, they’ve decided that they don’t want the aliens to know their language, so they can have secret conversations.
So they go a little crazy. With written words, they randomly use lowercase and capital letters, even using numbers and symbols, and use a lot of slang, occasionally using words incorrectly on purpose. They’ll jumble the words a bit so that only human brains can guess their meaning (that thing where if you use all the letters and put the proper letters at the beginning and end it’ll be comprehensible), and even use additional or unofficial languages (commonly known words like ‘hola’, ‘si’, ‘oui’, etc, and piglatin, in which you typically take the first letter or syllable of a word, place it at the end, and add ‘ay’ to the end).
As for spoken words, they will do a bit of the above, mashing languages and slang, perhaps mispronouncing a few things, and quoting memes, vines, movies, and even singing parts of songs to throw off the aliens. Perhaps they will say something with a somber meaning in a joyful way to throw off the meaning, or even just naturally (‘I wanna die!’ ‘Mood’), or vice versa.
Additionally, there would have to be a TON of body language. Maybe even sign language, should they know any. Gestures and expressions, eyebrow wiggles and poorly-hidden grins. Ah, the beauties of communication.
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shillelaghofjustice · 11 months
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Things Humans Have Definitely Said to Aliens #2:
"Great Yawning Abyss! Crewmate John! You have sustained intense radiation damage to most of your body!"
"For the last time, I know! Now grab the fUCKING ALOE VERA!!!"
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For the ‘Humans are *insert word* here/alien fans fanclub’, I have another small headcanon:
I feel like most aliens (from aliens that travel planets, to aliens that are the embodiment of a nightmare, to aliens that are small and fuzzy),
would absolutely love David Attenborough. I mean they probably found out about Earth’s animals and how they live and stuff from watching his documentaries, because one human on a crewship put it on to help them fall asleep.
David Attenborough would be adored by all the cosmos I think.
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thefunkyspoon · 2 months
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Humans are _____
The Gogevyals were the most disgusting alien in the galaxy; the one most other aliens looked at with disgust. Basically, they were the alien equivalent to the blobfish.
Except to some humans.
Humans were widely known for having no standards, and that was agreed even by the Qui, who would mate with other species, or deformed aliens. This phenomenon was largely male dominated, and it was quite the sight.
You see, the Gogevyals are 6 ft 1 puke green beings, who oftentimes resemble...what was it the humans said? Oh, right. Shrek but tall. Or something. Anyways, one day I happened upon this sight, and dear God, was it interesting, to say the least.
There was a human, male, ofcourse, around 5 ft 3, reaching up on it's tippietoes, whispering what seems to be a mating call to this ugly alien. And guess what? The Gogevyal was blushing! I didn't even know they could do that. And so was the human?? I made sure to wipe all memories of this interaction after writing this, so don't worry.
Edit:
Oh my Galaxy, would you believe it? In the local satellite, they announced their wedding! Have you ever seen a Gogevyal in a white, pretty wedding dress? Also, if you're asking how I know about it, it's because I lied. I did not erase my memory. Anyways, I don't know whether to feel glad humans don't just judge off looks, or sad because of just how low their bar is. Either way, I'm signing off. May the Galaxy be with you!!<3
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If this site goes down, I'm not likely to rebuild elsewhere. I'll quietly push on with the stories you all loved and then one day you'll see them in the wild. Maybe even me, in the wild, at a convention or something. And you'll know it's me because I have a hermit crab tattoo on my forearm
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plzignr · 2 years
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Humans are Weird- Free Diving
When I was a kid, was taught the rule of 3, which is meant to be a general survivalist guide rule of thumb for necessities in extreme circumstances. If you haven't heard it the rule of three is as follows:
3 weeks without food
3 days without water
3 minutes without oxygen
The point being that without these things at this frequency that's probably about when you'd die without them, so prioritize them in the reverse order.
And this is fairly consistent with most medical information I could find, these guidelines are a little under the 'official' times. Without oxygen is four to six minutes before brain damage, which that's fair to be conservative for potentially life saving information.
Then, I learned about free diving.
You know how we have a Frenchman who invented a self contained underwater breathing apparatus (SCUBA) because he wanted to keep looking at the fish down in the ocean. Yeah so free diving is that... without SCUBA gear.
Free divers just hold their breath, and dive, down to 20 to 40 feet under water, which by the way means that they are under two atmospheres of pressure (2 atm is 33 feet for those keeping score) and then hang out and surface. Like it didn't take a Frenchman obsessed with fish to come up with a pressurized air tank apparatus for normal people to do it.
The normal average human can hold their breath between 30 to 90 seconds.
That's normal, and then most people after three to four minutes will have passed out and start to have their brain cells begin being damaged from lack of oxygen.
Do you know how long average free divers can hold their breath? Upwards of 10 minutes. That is a TEN TIMES longer breath hold than the 'average' human, with NO adverse effects!
The record breath hold is almost 25 minutes. 25 MINUTES.
That discrepancy is entirely unreasonable!
That's like saying, oh yeah, the average human can move 100 pounds (~45 Kg) with serious effort, which is like the size of a large dog, but some of them can lift 1000 pounds, which is like a fully grown moose. Keeping with this analogy for the record breath hold if it was a weight  would be the equivalent of someone saying they could lift an Elephant!
Then, and then, I looked further into it because surely these people have to have some kind of genetic quirk that allows them to be able to hold their breath PAST the, 'yeah you're probably dead zone' three times over.
But no... not really. There are some exceptions of people that have larger or more effecient spleens that let them stay down closer to twenty to twenty five minutes, but mostly, it's just getting the body used to having high C02 and low 02 levels over an extended period of time. The average person can probably reach about 5 minute breath holds within a month of training, and have no adverse effects from this. Remember that the 'average human' could only hold their breath for 30 to 90 seconds. Remember that rule of three? Remember that four minutes was 'hey the human might get brain damage' you know their most important and vital organ that their evolution invested so heavily in that it literally changed the way they breath as a species? Yeah. We're just going to break that right down by just choosing to not listen to it. And within a month, BAM literally defying death, because some people just felt like it and figured out how to do it with training instead of equipment.
Because people wanted to go into a place that is VERY MUCH NOT MEANT FOR AIR BREATHING HUMANS to either look at stuff in the NOT FOR HUMANS zone, or to eat said stuff in the again HUMANS LITERALLY SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO BE ALIVE HERE FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE OF MINUTES ZONE.
Humans are insane, and utterly terrifying.
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graceofagodswrath · 2 years
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Humans Are Feral
Alright, this my first post, and possibly a part one in a series of humans are feral story arcs. As well as being something that I constantly think about and wonder why no one talks about it. Maybe I just haven’t found the specific post.
Have we ever talked about how vicious humans can be? Especially in scenarios where something we care about it threatened? And I mean “bared teeth and snarling” type vicious. Beast mode activated. I’m talking about how we basically turn into animals in certain situations and rely solely on primal instinct.
Take mothers/fathers for example. You ever see a parent react to a situation in which their child was dancing with death? They will risk life and limb for that kid. My dad dove into a pool full speed after my two year old sister fell in the deep end. Clothes and all. Have you ever seen a woman after just giving birth and her mind is just straight hormones? And something happens that she perceives a threat? Someone picks up the newborn without consent, she jumps out of bed after a fucking cesarian to snatch the kid and full on snarl at them? Friend’s aunt did that shit. And don’t get me started on the super strength thing humans can do when someone is in danger and adrenaline kicks in. Then there are the people who will protect some random ass kid. A toddler or small kid with no parent around and suddenly something dangerous is about to happen? People will jump in parent or not.
Imagine:
It was a quiet day in the streets of Kuratz. The market paths usually bustling with people of races only had a small stream of customers bouncing from stall to stall. Tourists or natives of all sorts. Ky’lio, a young Avalanghar, watched from his mia’s stall, long ears swiveling this way and that to pick up on what conversations he could understand.
Then they caught his eye. The strangers you’d never see in such a place. Humans. What looked like a family unit. Ky’lio couldn’t help but lean forward to stare. He recognized the tallest as a male and the slightly shorter one a female, as he had watched some interactions between his mia and her human customers. But those humans were always soldiers or neighboring colonists. These humans were different.
There was a third party. Ky’lio had never seen a human child except for the few pictures shared from other humans. It was notoriously well-known that humans were extremely protective of their younglings, so few were seen away from human colonies. So the small, bouncing creature Ky’lio watched tug on the adult humans’ paws didn’t register as a baby human until he really stared and saw the round features.
It kept trying to dart away from its parents, but the adults held vice-like grips onto the little one’s paws. Until the stopped at a stall, Hadi Midas’s stall selling sweet fruits from the Dolor Jungles. The male let the little human go and the female took hold of the little one’s free paw. But the wild thing tugged and cried out, like a prisoner chained to a wall. It wailed and cried out in its native tongue, no doubt begging for release from its mia’s iron laws. The scene reminded Ky’lio of when he saw Kaloway serpent at a traveling exotic zoo. It too thrashed and screeched in its chains the same way the little human was. Then the female leaned down and whispered something to the child, making it go limp in her paws, hanging like a dead thing. The female only snorted and turned back towards her mate, who was speaking with Hadi Midas.
What happened next would always remain burned into Ky’lio’s memory. The little human twisted strangely and suddenly they yanked themselves from their Mia’s grip. It screeched triumphantly and dashed away. The female yelled and ran after it, but it was no use. The little human was fast and determined. As it ran down the street it neared the alleyway next to the Damik stall. Ky’lio felt the fur along his spine stand up. The alleyway was a known ambush site for younglings separated from their parents. A human child would be a great prize.
As the human youngling ran past the alleyway, a giant Oyiadin stepped out and grabbed the skinny, hairless arm. The little human screamed, a sound that had every fear feeling surging through Ky’lio’s body. Others in the street turned and stared, but none dared do anything. Oyiadins had a reputation for smuggling and trafficking, their muscular stature, claws and jaws full of sharp fangs scared away any possible help. It wasn’t the first time Ky’lio witnessed a kidnapping and helplessly watched as the kidnapped youngling’s parents shrieked in despair and fear, never daring to fight such beasts. So they would lose their child.
But these were humans. And humans were known for strange, impossible feats. That fact still did not prepare the young Avalanghar to witness the female human slam into the giant Oyiadin, tackling the muscular biped to the ground. The male human swooped in and snatched the small human, now crying and clinging to its parent. The female stood atop the giant, snarling like a wild fangher. Her lips were pulled back to reveal small, white teeth that were nowhere near as intimidating as the Oyiadin’s, yet the expression was somehow more fearsome. She growled something in her native tongue, standing menacingly over the Oyiadin that hadn’t tried to stand up. It’s ugly face was strangely empty of menace, it’s six eyes wide and staring at the human it easily dwarfed. Yet the female held no fear, spitting and snarling, her body tensed for a fight. But the Oyiadin offered no challenge. She spat something in her language once more, then turned and walked to her mate and youngling.
“That is why you must not provoke humans.” Ky’lio jumped, turning to see his mia behind him and watching everything. She looked down at him. “They are dangerous and unpredictable. Especially when they’re protective.” She looked up to watch the trio of humans pass by. “Never underestimate their willingness to fight for their own.”
~~~~~~
Kids are one thing. Then there are pets. I have personally felt the willingness to kill if anyone threatened my dog or cat. That pack bonding stuff is no joke. No, I don’t care if you hear me call my cat a fat, no-rent-paying bastard, he’s my fat no-rent-paying bastard. And I won’t just die for him. I will kill you and cut you up in pieces and summon satan to dine with me on them for that fat bastard.
~~~~~~
Imagine:
Galar was a puvarra, and deserved xis comeuppance. But the crew never expected for their human crew mate to be the one to do it.
Oakley was a good crew mate and most of the team had high opinions of him. He did his work, turned in reports on time, socialized and was overall very kind. The crew was grateful that the human was one that presented the better side of his species. However some were not fond of humans. Galar, the Yunagi from the helix system 1-4b, was one of this opinion. Xe was unabashedly cruel to many on the crew, and only got away with it because xe often blackmailed xis victims to not report to the captain. It was irritating how xe knew certain things. But xe’d finally gone too far.
Oakley had a pet aboard the ship. The creature humans called a cat, a furry thing on four legs that was a master at contortion. While the crew had been hesitant about the creature at first, hearing stories about Terran animals, many grew to like it. Oakley’s cat was named Jambo, a black and white pattern on its fur and a long, skinny tail. It would rub against their legs or jump upon counters to watch them at work. Sometimes it would doze off near them. Only Oakley and Jabari, Oakley’s partner in work, had been selected as thrones for the creature to doze upon. Many on the crew came to feel honored when the creature would approach them and rub its cheek against an outstretched appendage, a sign Oakley had explained to be affection and a demand for “pets.” Jambo got many pets.
Then one day, as the crew drew together in the dining area for a meal, Galar chose his hill to die on. Jambo had approached the tables, padding towards Oakley, but stopping as some crew began making chirping and clicking sounds, trying to intice Jambo toward them for pets. Then Galar walked by, the blue finned Yunagi’s eyes landing on Jambo. And before any could do anything, xe pulled back a long leg and kicked the black and white cat. Jambo let out a loud screech.
Then Galar was flying back and Oakley was screaming in his native language. He wailed on Galar, his fist connecting every time. At one point he tried to choke xim. Several crew jumped upon them, pulling the human way from the Yunagi, but the damage was done. Purple bruises were already evident upon the Yunagi’s blue-green hide, scratches and crescent shaped marks on xis neck were leaking dark blue blood. Nothing serious, but enough to rattle everyone.
Oakley didn’t bother staying to explain to the captain. He immediately left to find his cat, as did some of the others. Many could care less if Galar was injured, because the stupid puvarra deserved it. They worried for Jambo. The cat was later found and inspected. Luckily for Jambo, he had some light bruising. Very lucky. Oakley even cried, the clear wetness on his face a strange sight for many.
When asked by the captain why he attacked Galar, Oakley point-blank said it was because he kicked Jambo. And anyone who dared hurt his cat was going to get hurt themselves. He said it so casually the captain blinked several times. While humans were known for their protectiveness of packmates, this aggression was unexpected. They went on to scold Oakley and told him that they would have to write this on his personal report for future jobs. Oakley only nodded, still unswayed. The captain sighed and dismissed him. They knew they probably should have done more for such heinous action. But unbeknownst to others, the captain was also fond of Jambo. They were the only other person Jambo chose to nap on.
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This was written really fast, so I apologize if the writing is a little scrunched and there are mistakes. It physically hurt to write about a cat getting kicked, I wanted to vomit. Ugh. I wanted to go off on a tangent about humans taking on giant beasts for their kids because wouldn’t we? I personally don’t like kids, but I admit that I’d fight a bear for that one-year old that smiled at me in a Walmart checkout line, then offered me her animal cracker. I mean, wtf. I’ll save that for the next post tho.
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human-encounters-diary · 10 months
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Day 13 The human remains in medical care, although visitations by anyone except the Vitrichl are currently prohibited by the medicals, preventing me from gathering any further observations of human behaviour. I did, although, receive access to a sample the scientific unit had taken from the fluid that the human had regurgitated after her space excursion during the previous cycle, and the results of its analyzation are…rather alarming. The fluid itself is incredibly acidic, and managed to dissolve all test objects given into the fluid in a matter of moments. This obviously raised an even larger question: What was it? A bioweapon? A natural venom? Perhaps Dorag's tales were more credible than previously assumed? Assumptions that could not be proven certainly. But the most alarming aspect of this is rather another question raised by these discoveries: If humans naturally posessed such a bioweapon, perhaps naturally produced it in their bodies, what did they need it for? The existence of such an mechanism implied the probable existence of a predator strong and agile enough that it was vital for humans to develop such a mechanism.
Even if that assumption is proved to be untrue, this discovery still turns humans into a much bigger threat than we had previously determined.
(Further note: One of the medicals has reported the human had repeatedly protested against any advances to provide her with medical care, continuously insisting she was alright and in no need of medical care. Despite the known durability of humans, she will be kept in medical care for at least one more cycle.)
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Aboard an alien ship, a captive Human sits in the cell with the captain of the aliens interrogating them. Not long after, the Human gets antsy. The captain demands why.
"Why do I hear boss music?" The Human asked.
The aliens didn't understand what they meant by that, so they smacked the Human before scoffing and turning around, only to come face to face with another Human armed with a cadaver and a hunting knife.
"Why'd you bring a knife to a gun fight?" The captive Human was mildly miffed.
Though that didn't matter, the other Human dominated the captain and forced him to return them to their colony.
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