#i KNOW i can still learn i know i cam start anytime i am held back by nothing yet it is holding me back extremely

[zincbot]

i've been doing a music exchange with my father and it's been so fun. i've been sending him indie music from the 90s and niche 2000's electronic rock and he's been sending me 60s country folk and like motown stuff

i'm genuinely having the time of my life

[peterjakes]

Sam x Grizz Fanfic - ‘Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth’

Third part and possible last of ‘The sun is but a morning star’ series - grizz meets eden and its cute x

also posted of ao3; https://archiveofourown.org/works/21281282

It had been a week since Eden was born and she was thriving. Being constantly showered in affection but not only her extremely tired parents; but her extended family which included Kelly, Gordie, and Bean. Little did she know the biggest disaster of the small world of New Ham she had been born into. Things still hadn’t mellowed down; even with many trying to figure out what they were going to do to try to fix the mess they’d been landed in. This was something that was extremely worrying for Grizz. He hadn’t seen Sam since they reunited; he thought it best to give him a little bit of space, especially as he still technically had a new-born to look after. Grizz ached to see Sam but he didn’t want to disturb him or Becca. Although the tension between him and Sam had finally disappeared; he still felt as if he still couldn’t barge in on Sam and Becca. It was as if he’d ruin their little family of bliss, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

It was his third day back since arriving from the expedition and he’d spent most of that time in his room, hiding. Anyone else who had been living in his house had already cleared out when he first arrived, which was actually a blessing. Back when Allie was in charge, as part of the guard, Grizz spent most of his time at Allie’s, rarely going home (only to change or shower). He remembered how after a few weeks of Allie being mayor, Grizz and Gordie started their own little book club, just to past the time. Soon enough Bean and Becca joined in, just to listen. Then Sam. They’d all try to least have breakfast together at least once a week, like a family ritual. Gordie made coffee, Grizz the tea, Sam the toast (even though it was burnt almost every time). They’d take about menial, mundane, meaningless things. Life before New Ham. What they were going to do after graduation, how much they all hated Mr. Cam and his dumb moustache, missing their families, the normality of their lives before. Grizz took charge of watering all the plants, whilst Bean and Becca would go around the garden picking out the prettiest flowers to decorate the house. Will changed all the light bulbs whenever they broke, even though he seemed to smash most of them. If anyone was having a rough day; Grizz would leave a small but inspiring quote on their pillow or pin it to the fridge. Daily group naps became an important part of everyone’s day. They all took care of each other. But all of that was gone now. Cassandra dead. Luke, a traitor. Allie arrested. Will arrested. Becca, a mother. Sam, a father. Bean scared. Gordie alone. Grizz alone.

These thoughts floated around Grizz’s mind whenever he wasn’t thinking about Sam. Sam’s lips. Sam’s freckles all dotted perfectly on his face. Sam’s soft, soft hair. Sam’s sparkling, vivid blue eyes. He wanted to touch him again, all of him. Even just to be in his presence, Grizz pined for him. The space between them was almost becoming too much. It was as if there were oceans between the two. Grizz was being pulled down by the weight of his need for Sam. He knew he’d have to talk to Sam again. No, not ‘have to’, he wanted to. He wanted to see that special smile, the one that seemed to make Grizz forget anytime he wasn’t with Sam.

Once again, Grizz knew he’d have to be the one to make the first move, Sam had a new-born to take care of after all. He moved along his bed, reaching for his phone which was placed on the bedside table. Before typing, he quickly scrolled through the texts he and Sam had sent each other, nothing special, nothing incriminating but every single word held so much more than it first appeared. Grizz typed out the message and hit sent before he could think otherwise, not wanting to waste a moment longer.

Grizz: Hey

He flicked off the message, not wanting to see the non-existence of the three little dots and scrolled down to his last conversation with Luke. Again, meaningless. Luke had taken Grizz’s varsity jacket by mistake when they were on duty one night and was offering to swap. Grizz’s slender fingers started to type up a message but quickly deleted those words. No real words could be sent. No real words could describe the hurt Grizz felt when he realised what Luke, his best friend, had done. Yes, he felt betrayed. Luke, who’d Grizz had known since he was 7 years old. Luke, who’d Grizz had stuck by through all of those years. Luke, who was popular with everyone, but never seemed to let it go to his head. Luke, who loved Grizz like a brother. Luke, who Grizz couldn’t tell who he truly was. Luke. This intense thought was interrupted by a slight vibration coming from Grizz’s phone, to which Grizz scrambled to pick up and dropped the phone 4 times before opening up the message.

Sam: Hey; sorry I haven’t been around much. Are you okay?

Grizz: It’s fine, I’m fine. Are you? How’s Eden?

Sam: All she does is cry and poop; like Becca 😂

Sam: I want to see you; can I see you?

Grizz: Haha, I’ll tell her you said that 😉

Grizz: Of course, you can.

Sam: Come to Becca’s house later. 6?

Grizz: I’ll see you then x

As soon as Grizz sent that kiss, he regretted him. Not completely sure why, especially as he and Sam had done far more to warranty a simple ‘x’ on a text, but still. Sam and Grizz had seemed to move so fast, something that at the time Grizz wasn’t aware of. At first, it definitely wasn’t something to complain about. But the day Grizz and the group left for the expedition, only moments after he said goodbye to Sam, that bittersweet departure, he wondered how they’d gotten to where they were.

Becca’s house was the other side of town, and unfortunately for Grizz that was a sure set for him bumping into someone he really didn’t want to see. The last time Grizz had around Becca’s, it was the first time he’d been properly alone with Sam. After meeting in the library, to his Grizz’s delight, Sam had invited him round to practise some ASL. It had only been for a few hours, but Grizz had actually learned a lot. Not just about ASL.

Upon arriving at Sam’s, Grizz contemplated knocking or just walking straight back home. His nerves had started to kick in once again, something that was becoming a regular occurrence when it came to Sam. He doubted Sam even knew what he did to him. Brushing those thoughts aside, he lightly tapped on the door, as if there was a small part of him that hoped no one could hear it. Of course, he wanted to see Sam, but it had been a few days and that meant time to think. And in his current state, thinking wasn’t particularly wise.

Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open as if Sam was eagerly waiting for the other boy. Grizz was greeted by those beautiful, blue eyes, the ones that made him feel all giddy inside. When Sam looked at him with those eyes, it was as if they were made especially for him and only him. Grizz didn’t care if he never looked at anything else.

“Hey,” Grizz quickly signed to Sam, before being pulled into a big bear hug by the smaller boy, something he’d missed in their few days apart. Sam seemed to grip tightly on Grizz’s shoulders as if he never wanted to let go. Grizz was wearing his hair in one of his tight buns; a look that made Sam go absolutely crazy.

“I missed you.” Sam looked up at Grizz, his eyes glistened with complete and utter despair, which was something Sam didn’t like to see. He hadn’t expected things to go back to how they were before; that would have been stupid. It would take some time. But all they had was time.

Grizz raised his eyebrows, “It’s been two days, Sam.”  to which Sam shrugged and led Grizz to the kitchen, which Grizz hated to say was a complete tip. The table was covered in a variety of different baby essentials; baby wipes, a breast pump, nappies. Parent life he supposed.

“You’ve been busy, huh?” Grizz said, whilst picking up a loose baby wipe, frowning at the sight of it.

Grizz didn’t know much about babies. How many 18-year olds did? Grizz had never had much to do with babies or other children. Being an only child and living away from any cousins or extended family made sure of that. Grizz liked to think he was pretty good with kids, he and Luke helped out with the junior football team sometimes and he enjoyed it. He liked to think he’d be pretty good with younger children too. But he never got the chance.

“Babies,” Sam answered and yanked the baby wipe out of Grizz’s hand, throwing it aside.

“You look tired.” Grizz signed hastily, to which Sam gave a ‘no shit’ look.

“I am exhausted. All I want to do is sleep.” Grizz chuckled at that comment, edging closer to Sam, closing the gap between the two. He wanted to touch Sam again, even if only for a moment. Skin on skin. Something. Just something.

Sam waited a moment before asking his next question, unsure whether it would be too raw still. “Do you want to meet her?” Sam couldn’t think of anything better, than seeing Eden in Grizz’s arms. That was what his dreams were made of.

“What?” This had caught Grizz off guard; something that had happened quite a lot when it came to Sam. Grizz couldn’t explain what he did to him, but he wasn’t going to deny that he enjoyed it. The natural path for this meeting to go would likely have included meeting Eden, but this thought hadn’t crossed Grizz’s mind. It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought or didn’t care about Eden, but there had been more important things for Grizz to worry about. Firstly, figuring out how the fuck everything had turned to shit so quickly. And how he could protect Sam.

“Eden. You wanna see her?” Sam cocked his head, not wanting to pressure Grizz into anything, but making it pretty clear that he would absolutely love to see it.

Not wanting to disappoint Sam, Grizz slowly nodded, trying to seem as eager as he could at that moment. “I..uh…yeah, yeah.”

“Sure? You don’t have to.” Sam knew this was still difficult for Grizz. Sure, Sam wasn’t the biological father, but he was Eden’s father and he would be for the rest of his life. He never wanted to hurt Grizz or make life hard, but he didn’t want to separate the two sides of his life. And Grizz holding Eden was something he had to see. Desperately.

“Yes, Sam. I want to see her.” Grizz signed carefully, wanting to make sure that Sam understood that he wasn’t going to be awkward. How could he? It wouldn’t be fair of him.

Sam nodded, “Okay.” And pulled Grizz towards the staircase near the back of the house, Grizz hadn’t paid much attention to the interior the last time he was here. He obviously had other things on his mind at the time, which had been on his mind ever since he’d spoken to Sam properly. But the house was quaint, relatively small and had that ‘homely’ smell Grizz could only dream of when he was growing up.

The two entered Sam and Becca’s room, which is occupied by a very exhausted sleeping Becca and gurgling Eden. Grizz stopped dead, like a deer in traffic lights when he first saw Sam pick up Eden. He looked so natural, cradling her in his arms. This image, such a perfect image, still brought some sadness to Grizz.

“She’s beautiful.” Grizz signed this, putting special emphasis on ‘beautiful’, unsure if he’d actually signed it right. He’d been practising this sign specifically after last seeing Sam. He had a feeling he would be using it more often.

“We think so too, perfect little angel apart from when she starts screeching. Loses her charm a little.” Sam whispered this, obviously not wanting to stir the small child. He moved closer to Grizz, delicately placing Eden in Grizz’s strong arms.

“Oh, she could never,” Grizz mused, looking down at Eden, giving her a small smile. She was so small, so tiny, so soft, so clean. She seemed to stop stirring as if she felt so calm in his arms. Looking down at this perfect being, Grizz couldn’t understand how anything could be bad again.

Sam gave Grizz a tired smile and motioned to take Eden back. Grizz complied, carefully handing Eden back to Sam, cradling her head as he did. “She has her eyes, Becca, don’t you think?” Sam nodded again, his eyes started to droop ever so slightly, whilst placing Eden back in her crib. He stared down at her for a few seconds, as if he was in his own little world, waiting for her to drift off once again.

“You need to sleep, Sam.” Grizz interrupted Sam’s thoughts, whatever they were, placing his hand on Sam’s right shoulder, wrapping his fingers down, slotting in perfectly with Sam’s skin. Sam brushed him off, physically and mentally, frowning. Of course, he needed sleep. Understatement of the century. But everyone needed sleep. Grizz doubted anyone slept a goodnight’s sleep the day the expedition group came back. Everyone was filled with worry. Gordie had visited Grizz after dinner that first night back, briefly filling him in on the events. That had scared Grizz. But that wasn’t the main thing. People had stopped going to the cafeteria, only a handful turned up for that night’s dinner. This just reminded Grizz of when Cassandra died; they had just managed to sort it out before it got any worse. But Grizz didn’t think they’d be so lucky this time.

“I’m serious. You look like shit.”

“Is that how you charm all your boyfriends?” Sam muses before realising what he said, quickly looking at Grizz, a worried look started to appear on his face. “I didn’t-“stuttered Sam, wondering why he ever said anything when he was around Grizz. It was like his brain didn’t work.

“Right…” Grizz couldn’t help but a chuckle a little but tried his best to keep it in, not wanting to embarrass Sam. Quickly changing the subject, Grizz interjected, “But seriously, if you don’t go to bed right now, I’m gonna have to carry you.” Now that was a threat. Grizz wasn’t even sure if that was possible. Sure, Sam wasn’t the biggest guy in the world, he was quite a few inches shorter than Grizz, but who wasn’t? From his 13, Grizz had always been the tallest in his class, that’s what made him so good at football. It was just easy. But that world seemed so far away, and nothing in his life now was easy.

Inching away from Grizz, Sam started to pick up some of Eden’s things; a baby pink blanket that had seen better days, the raggedy elephant plush that Gordie had gifted them and a single dummy. Grizz could tell Sam was doing his best to ignore him, but it became obvious that he was failing.

“Come on, sleepyhead,” Grizz said this more sternly, he was genuinely concerned about the amount of sleep Sam was getting. No one was sleeping properly, but still, Sam looked like he was about to collapse.

Sam shook his head, moving away from Grizz once again. “I need to keep an eye on Eden.” That’s all he had done for the past few days. It was the least he could do for Becca, who had carried Eden all that time, and was so damn exhausted. It wasn’t like it was a chore though, Sam relished every moment he spent with her. He never knew anything could be so precious. So precious but so loud. So, tiring.

Grizz knew this tactic; he’d himself used it before when blocking Sam out. This was one of the things he’d regretted. He never wanted that, quite the contrary actually, he wanted them to be honest with each other.

“Nope. No way. Bedtime.” Grizz only signed ‘bedtime’, placing his right hand onto his left eye, and tapped the top of his wrist, where one of his hair ties was wrapped around.

“But-“

“I’ll look after her. Least I can do.”

“You’re tired too.” Sam sighed, he didn’t want to ever put Grizz out or make him uncomfortable. Sure, Eden was adorable, and no one in their right mind could resist her. But Sam knew it was still a delicate subject and he didn’t want to force that onto Grizz. Then again, it was becoming very clear that Sam could not work with next to no sleep. And who was he to argue?

“I’ll come join you, later. When she’s settled. Deal?”  Grizz signed all of this, allowing his fingers to move swiftly and smoothly, once again unsure whether he’d done it right, there still seemed so much he needed to learn. That was something he wanted to request from Sam, but in his current state, thought it best to wait until Sam could actually stand up without his eyes drooping as if his eyes would roll out of his head.

“You. Are. So. Annoying.” Sam enunciated these words, poking Grizz’s chest with his index finger each time. He knew he’d might as well give in, Grizz didn’t seem to be wavering and Sam never wanted to fight with him again, that had been far too exhausting.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, before I have to pick you up and carry you there.” Grizz started to manoeuvre Sam towards the door, giving him a slight push, to which Sam complied. If he was being completely honest, going to sleep was something he’d wondered if he’d ever experience again. He never knew babies could be so demanding. Cute, but demanding.

“Bossy.” Sam signed, placing his index finger on and off of his chin three times, almost aggressively. This quite new to Grizz, he’d only ever seen Sam sign with an almost calmness, even when he was angry, he never seemed to raise his voice. Which was something he loved about him.

“Stop winging.” Grizz scoffed just as Sam directed them to the only other bedroom in the house, which Grizz quickly realised must have been Becca’s moms’ room. The remnants of a middle-aged woman living there were still quite clear; the odd photo of Becca and her mom, a single David Bowie vinyl and a plush velvet throw sprawled across the king-sized bed. Even though Becca’s mom had likely never even been in this version of her room, Grizz felt slightly uncomfortable, as if he was invading her privacy.

Sam flopped down on his bed, star fishing across the sheets. Grizz turned to leave the room but was quickly pulled down on top of Sam. Sam let one of his hands go from Grizz’s wrist, placing it on the back of his neck, slowly caressing it. He gave him a little smirk, before crashing their lips together, almost in slow motion, like a blurred dream. This kiss was fuller, Sam seemed to have complete control, moving his tongue around Grizz’s mouth, wrapping it perfectly against the other boy’s. his hungry mouth melded into the other. Making sure he didn’t pull away, Grizz slid his body down beside Sam, holding tightly to his head. Their lips magnetised with each other; they were naturally attracting to each other like a type of force of nature. Meant to be. Sam quickly moved his hand up towards Grizz’s head, pulling out his hair tie and gripped onto a lock of hair, pulling it slowly. Moans escaped Grizz’s mouth as the kiss developed and Sam could feel his breathlessness against his own mouth. Grizz hungrily pushed back, working his mouth against Sam’s, their tongues battling with each other, trying to pin each other down. Grizz could feel the heat rising in his cheeks and removed Sam’s other hand from his wrist to feel his face. The kiss started to slow down a little, Sam’s muscles were tiring. He slowly pulled away, but placed a short, sweet kiss on Grizz’s lips before laying back down on the bed. The two boys laid there quietly, both breathing hard.

“Now, I’m tired.”

[svucarisiaddict]

Is there a p. 2 to protected by sonny? I’ve been catching up on some stories and that ending... omg!!!!

//so I wrote and posted this a while back but I didn’t add it to the master list! I procrastinate a lot when it comes to updating. Anyway, here it is. Promise you won’t hate me after you read it!//

“You okay in there?” Sonny’s muffled voice came through the closed bathroom door. “Been in there awhile.”

“I’m fine, Sonny,” you responded exasperatedly. “I’ll be out in a second.” Sonny was standing outside the door when you swung it open. You rolled your eyes and brushed past him.

“I made you a cup of tea. Want to watch a movie?” Sonny suggested as he started to follow you into the bedroom.

“Nope,” you answered.

“You okay? You're being extra cranky today.”

You spun around short of the bedroom threshold. “I don’t want to watch a movie or a damn cup of tea. And yeah I’m cranky. I'm six months pregnant and for the last month, I’ve had either you or Liv or some other cop up my ass. I need five fucking minutes to myself, Sonny!” For a second you felt bad when you saw the pained expression on Sonny’s face as you closed the bedroom door.

“You want space? You got it doll.” The sound of Sonny’s footsteps echoed down the hall. You pushed yourself away from the door.

“Nice, Y/N,” you muttered to yourself. The bed was still unmade from earlier that morning, it crossed your mind to make it but decided to crawl in bed a wrap up in the comforter instead.

When you opened your eyes, the bedroom was mostly dark except for a sliver of light coming under the door. “I’m hungry too little man,” you patted your belly. “Let’s see what we got in the fridge.”

The apartment was quiet and still. No Sonny. No Gus. Sonny left a note for you on the table. I made chicken and noodle soup. Taking Gus for a walk. I’m sorry I’ve been crowding you. I’ll be back later. Love you both.

“Okay. Looks like it’s just me and you kid.” After eating, you curled up on the couch and flicked through the channels before deciding on some reality show. It was a mind-numbing show which was what you needed. “I am such a jerk,” you murmured as you thought about your earlier exchange with Sonny.

Just as you were about to text him, there was a knock at the door. Sonny must have forgotten his key. You pushed yourself up from the couch and shuffled toward the door. “You forget your-”

“Hello again, honey,” Joseph sneered. Immediately you tried to close the door, but he forced it open pushing you off balance causing you to fall.

Your head made a sickening thud as it hit the hardwood floor. The pain shot through your head, instantly making you nauseous and making your ears ring. You screwed your eyes closed and put a hand to your head then your belly.  The last thing you remember was Joseph leaning down, saying something you couldn’t hear, then a vile grin spread across his face.

The apartment was full of cops, CSU and the squad. Sonny was standing, staring at the spot where your head hit the floor and left a small amount of blood.

Liv placed a hand on his shoulder. “Carisi.”

He dashed away tears with the back of his hand. “We had an argument this evenin’. She uh, she was tired of me coddling her. So, I took Gus for a walk to give her some space, ya know. She was sleeping. Thought I’d be back before she even woke up.”

“This was not your fault Sonny. He shot the cop we had posted outside. He planned this-”

“Like hell, this isn’t my fault,” Sonny spat out. “I’m her husband. I promised I’d protect her. That Joseph would never hurt her again. I left…” Tears spilled down his face.

“Oh, Sonny.” Liv gathered Sonny in her arms. “We'll find her. I promise you.”

“Time to wake up,” Joseph's voice broke through your foggy brain. He clapped his hands.

“Ahhh..” you groaned. Your head felt like it weighed a ton and had a dull ache made want to keep your eyes screwed closed. Your other arm was wrapped protectively around your abdomen.

You were in a small, dark one-room apartment with nicotine stained walls. There was sparse furniture randomly placed around the room, including the stained, odorous couch you were lying on. Stale smoke and a pungent, stinging odor invaded your nostrils. The combination made you nauseous.

Joseph roughly sat you up, grabbed your wrists bound them with rope along with your ankles. “Ow,” you croaked. “Why are you doing this?” You turned your eyes up to Joseph and was met with cold, empty eyes.

He leaned in close, his breath hot in your ear. Cheap whiskey and cigarettes on his breath made your stomach roll. “Why?”, he questioned quietly. “Because you put me in prison you stuck up bitch!” He yelled in your ear.

“Yeah. And you know why,” you shot back. A glimpse of his hand in your peripheral vision was all you saw before he made contact with your cheek. It felt like your cheek and eye were going to explode.

“Now. Maybe you’ll be a little more amenable. Why don’t we call that husband of yours? I’m sure he’s been waiting to hear from us.”

“It’s been three hours.” Sonny ran his hand through his already tousled hair. I can’t sit here and do nothin’,” Sonny grabbed his coat from the chair and headed for the door.

“Carisi. No. Not a good idea,” Amanda asserted. “If you get a call, or they try to contact you-”

Fin approached the group. “We got Joseph on security cam carrying Y/N out of the building-”

“Carrying her?” Sonny’s phone rang, He furrowed his brow at the unknown number. “Carisi.”

“Well hello, there Detective. How ya been?” Joseph’s voice came down the line. Sonny signaled who it was and a trace was started.

“You son of a bitch. Let her go. If you hurt her-”

“You are not really in a place to tell me what to do. So here’s the deal. You get me some things I want, then we’ll talk,” Joseph remarked.

“I want to hear her voice,” Sonny stated.

“I’ll do ya one better.”

Sonny’s phone dinged. When Sonny opened the text he covered his mouth. Your face was red, and your eye swollen and your hands and feet were bound. “What do you want, Joseph?” Sonny inquired, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “I’ll get you whatever you want. Just don’t hurt her.”

“I’ll call you back in an hour with my demands. You better answer.” The line went dead.

The tech signaled that the call was traced. “Let’s move. Get ESU, and call Tucker. We’re going to need a negotiator,” Liv ordered.

“What do we know?” Ed asked as he walked with Liv into the command center.

“Perp name is Joseph Andres. Got released two months ago after serving three years of a ten-year sentence for aggravated assault.”

“Detective Carisi’s wife?”

“Yeah. We’ve been trying to catch him for weeks. He killed an officer then kidnapped Y/N,” Liv informed him. “She’s six months pregnant.”

“Jesus. Made any demands?”

“No. He should be calling Carisi back soon.”

Tucker nodded his head. “He’s here? How is he holding up?”

“Not good,” Liv replied.

Joseph pushed the curtain open slightly with the barrel of his gun. “Shit. Fucking cops everywhere.” He paced the floor between you and the window. You held your breath anytime he got close to you.

“Just let me go,” you pleaded, “and they’ll all leave. You can still get out of-”

“Shut. Up. God, you never knew when to shut up,” he cut in. “I’m getting something for my troubles.” He picked his phone up and dialed.

Sonny sat in the mobile command center staring at his phone, willing it to ring. His mind started to wonder. His life before you had been good. He loved his job, his family and had some good friends. But something was missing. It wasn’t until he met you that he figured out what that was. He was smitten that second you walked into the room. Sonny smiled. It took a bit longer to convince you.  Sonny jumped when his phone started ringing. “Joseph what do you-”

“Let me talk to someone out there who knows what they’re doing,” Joseph snapped.

Sonny handed the phone to Tucker. “Joseph. This is Captain Tucker. Before we get started, I need a sign of good faith Y/N is okay.”

“Sonny?” Your panicked voice made Sonny squeeze his eyes closed.

“I’m here doll. I lo-”

“That’s quite enough of that. Here’s what I want.” Joseph had a laundry list of items. “You have two hours.”

“That’s going to be tight, Joseph.”

“Not my problem, now is it? Oh and Detective Carisi the cash personally.” He snarled into the phone then hung up.

“Okay, Sonny.” Fin started. “Get in there, get your girl then get the hell out.”

Sonny nodded. “Got it Sarg.”

“If anything goes wrong, we can be in there in there less than 10 seconds,” Liv said reassuringly and squeezed his shoulder.

Sonny grabbed the straps of the duffel bag, slung it over his shoulder and started to the door of the abandoned building. He took a deep breath. ‘What if he couldn’t pull this off and you got hurt or the baby got hurt. It was just recently revealed that you were having a boy. Sonny had been thrilled to learn he was going to have a son although he would have been just as happy to have a daughter.

“Okay, Joseph. Detective Carisi is on his way up with the money. He’s unarmed,” Tucker informed Joseph as Sonny entered the building.

“Did you hear that? He’s coming to rescue you. A knight in shining armor.” Joseph gave you a malicious grin.

Sonny. The one person that could make this all go away. Make it all better.  You squeezed your eyes shut. Sonny was your person. He was your world. He had brought so much good into your life. He taught you to trust again, love again. And how could someone not love Sonny? A faint smile crossed your lips.

“Snap out of it, bitch-”

“Call my wife another name or lay another finger on her and that’s going to be the last thing you do,” Sonny said confidently.

Joseph’s flashed with fear for a second before he recovered. He leveled his gun to your abdomen. “I think I’m holding all the cards, Detective.”

Sonny dropped the bag beside him on the stained carpet. “Don’t do this Joseph. You shot her, you’re going away forever this time. Take the money and go.”

“Joseph, please.” You begged for the life of your unborn baby, your life, Sonny’s life. It was a simple plea. One that you hope would reach whatever little amount of humanity he may have left in him.

Joseph lowered the gun tucking into the band of his pants letting you breathe a sigh of relief. He pulled a knife from a holder on his side and leaned over you. He put the knife to the side of your face. “You owe me one,” he whispered lowly. Then leaned over and cut the ties on your hands and ankles.  You gingerly massaged your wrists and move them around. All you wanted to do was run to Sonny’s arms. Feel the safety they provided. He turned to Sonny. “Give me the vest,” he demanded of Sonny gesturing to his flak jacket.

“Okay. You got it. All yours.” Sonny slowly slid the vest off and laid it on the bag backing away.

Joseph kept his gun on Sonny while making his way over and putting the jacket on. He grabbed the bag and started to walk out the door. “Oh, Y/N. Remember when I said if I can’t be happy, neither could you?”

The gunshot rang out in the small room and then another. Time stood still. You screamed you know you did. “No! No!” Rushing over to where Sonny was on the floor you went to your knees beside him. “Sonny? Babe.” You pushed your hand to his abdomen where the bullet entered.

“Doll?” He said in a rough voice. “Oww,” he hissed through his teeth. “I love you. Have since the first day I laid eyes on you.”

“I love you too Sonny. So much. I’m sorry for snapping earlier, I-” you choked back a sob.

“Hey. Stop. It’s-ahh- it’s okay. ” He put a hand to your stomach. “I love you too little man.”

ESU, Liv, Fin, officers flooded the room. “We need medics in here now!” Liv called out.

“Joseph is gone. Self-inflicted gunshot the head. He knew he wasn’t gettin’ out of here alive,” Fin stated.

“It’s gonna be okay, doll,” Sonny whispered and was able to give you a weak smile as you held him in your arms pushing the hair from his face.

“I know it will be.” You smiled then kissed his lips.

                                   //three months later//

Matteo Sonny Carisi was born two days before his Dad’s birthday. You sat in the nursery, slowly rocking your newborn son. He was sated having just finished nursing. Just like his Daddy, always happy after having a good meal. A smile crossed your lips.  You ran a finger down his nose and across his chubby cheek.

“I’m going to tell you a story about your Daddy. His name was Sonny too. He was so excited to be a Daddy and loved your from the second we knew you existed. Your Daddy was the epitome of good. He was the most caring, loving and trustworthy person I have ever met. And I was one of the lucky ones to be loved by him. And I loved him, still love him. So much. He protected people. He protected us with his own life.” You laid Matteo down in his crib and continued to watch him for a few more minutes. “Goodnight sweet boy. Tomorrow I’ll tell you more about your Daddy.

[singledarkshade]

The Lost Ones

Part Five - Reunited

Alex smiled watching Gideon and Winn work together on upgrading the DEO’s security systems. It was nice to see their newest member so relaxed and happy.

She liked having Gideon as a roommate. The other woman was so sweet, enthusiastically curious, extremely smart and very protective of the people she counted as friends. She was also sometimes quite childlike in her innocence about the world. She hadn’t gained any more of her memories in the past three months but wasn’t letting that hold her back. She had become a fully fledged member of the DEO spending most of her time working with Winn who jokingly called her big sister.

Alex however knew as happy as she was Gideon still looked out for the mystery man she felt she was missing.

“Are you sure this will work?” Winn was demanding when Alex walked over to join them.

Gideon frowned at him, “Of course I am. It is also a good way to ensure that the important sections, including where you work, are protected against an attack.”

Winn looked up at Alex, “I don’t think I like her anymore.”

Alex winced when she saw hurt covering Gideon’s face, “He’s only teasing because you’re right and he knows it.”

“I am,” Winn wrapped his arm around Gideon hugging her.

Gideon blushed slightly, “I should have realised.”

“Are you two ready to go for lunch?” Alex asked, “Kara is going to meet us and you know she hates being kept waiting for food.”

Winn nodded shutting down his computer, “I think a break would be a good idea.”

“Great,” Alex caught Gideon’s arm before she could protest and pulled her out of her chair, “It’s a new restaurant for you to try.”

  Kara handed the bowl of ice cream to Gideon before she climbed onto the couch beside Alex, “So, what are we watching tonight?”

Alex smiled, “I thought we would introduce Gideon to the Wizard of Oz.”

“Yeah,” Kara grinned clapping slightly, “When I first came to Earth this was one of the first movies I saw. I love it. You will too.”

“I’m sure I shall,” Gideon said softly, closing her eyes blissfully when she licked the chocolate ice cream off her spoon.

This was their Friday night ritual since Gideon had moved in with Alex. Assuming nothing else was happening, Kara would join them for takeout and ice cream showing Gideon one of their favourite movies. This was to help her learn more about popular culture while Winn had her watching several shows on Netflix.

As the movie began Gideon listed her questions on the small tablet computer that sat at her side which she would ask at the end of the film. The lists became shorter and shorter with each passing week. Gideon had discovered a love for musicals; she thought there was something so joyful about people singing suddenly in a film. Alex was not too sure she agreed but Kara was more than happy to sit and watch them anytime.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked when she saw tears spring to Gideon’s eyes as they reached the end of the film.

“There’s no place like home,” Gideon whispered sadly, “I wish I remembered mine.”

Alex wrapped her arm around her friend while Kara moved to her other side to join the embrace, “You have us. I know it’s hard not knowing who you were but we’re here for you, Gideon.”

Relaxing into the hug Gideon smiled at her new found family.

                        *********************************************

  Gideon stared at herself in the mirror trying to understand why she still felt wrong. She knew this was how she looked, this was how she thought she should look but there was still something strange about her reflection.

Closing her eyes Gideon tried to picture the man she knew she was missing, trying to remember something about him, something that could possibly help find him. However there was nothing, the same as there had been for the past four months.

“Gideon,” Winn’s voice came through her radio, “Alex and her team are nearly at the compound.”

“I’m on my way,” she told him, pulling her hair back from her face before heading out the locker room to take her station.

Sliding into the seat beside Winn, Gideon linked with the computer so she could monitor Alex and her team. They were exploring another of the labs that belonged to the man who had held Gideon captive.

“We’re nearing the compound,” Alex’s voice came over the radio.

“We’ve got you,” Winn told her, “Gideon, are you able to connect with their computers?”

Gideon closed her eyes frowning, “No. It is a closed system.”

“Great,” Winn grimaced, “Alex, we’re only working with your helmet-cams at the moment.”

The sigh from Alex made Gideon wince annoyed with the situation but she remained silent. She kept a watch on the team, waiting for them to enter so they could give her access to the system. A yell from one of the team preceded gunfire and cries coming from the team.

“Alex?” Winn yelled, “What’s happening?”

“Minute,” she snapped back at him. Her camera showed the team looking around nervously before they were attacked by an alien, tall with a strange bone protrusion that looked like a sword coming from its arm.

“What the hell is that?” Winn demanded as he started checking the files to try to identify the alien they were facing.

“Gunfire is bouncing right off,” Alex snapped, “We’re going to have to retreat.”

Before anyone could say another word the creature stiffened, a knife was jammed into its side which was ripped upwards blood shooting out of the wound as it fell to the ground. A tall thin man stood behind it, grimly staring at them with the blood stained knife gripped tightly in his hand.

“Identify yourself,” Alex ordered.

Gideon stared stunned at the man on the screen whispering, “Captain?”

  Alex heard Gideon’s amazed voice but wasn’t able to ask because the man standing in front of her dropped the knife and pulled a gun out aiming directly at Alex. His face was bleak, blue eyes completely blank while he stared right through her. His right arm was obviously broken held against his chest by what appeared to be a belt and a bit of cloth, he was dressed in black denims, grey t-shirt and a brown leather jacket all covered in the blood of what Alex assumed was the creature.

“Put your weapon down,” Alex ordered the man.

He didn’t reply or move, his gun never wavering from her.

“I will not warn you again,” Alex stated sharply, “Put it down or we will be forced to fire.”

“Don’t hurt him,” Gideon’s voice came in her ear, “Let him hear my voice.”

Confusion filled her, “What?”

“Please, Alex,” Gideon begged, “I can talk him down. Let him hear my voice.”

Slowly, so not to spook the man into firing, Alex switched her radio so that Gideon’s voice would be broadcast.

“Captain Hunter,” Gideon called.

The man’s head tilted slightly, bemusement covering his face while he breathed, “Gideon?”

“I am here, Captain,” she replied.

“But you were gone,” he whispered, shaking his head, “I lost you.”

Alex heard Gideon’s deep intake of breath before she replied, “It is a long story, Captain but I promise you that I am here and that you are safe. Agent Danvers is not your enemy.”

“Gideon?” he breathed again, “Prove to me it’s really you because you were gone.”

There was a pause. Alex readied herself in case Gideon didn’t know how to prove to him she was real.

“Before leaving the cognitive intrusion,” Gideon said softly making him tilt his head again slightly, “I rather enjoyed it.”

He gasped, relief covering his face before he dropped the gun falling to his knees. Alex realised he was about to pass out. Running forward she caught him stunned that he had been hanging onto consciousness with nothing but sheer strength of will.

“Alex?” Gideon’s worried voice called.

“He’s just unconscious,” Alex soothed, “We’ll get him back to the DEO.”

                          *********************************************

  Gideon ran forward the moment the medical transport arrived back at the DEO, seeing her Captain carried on a stretcher unconscious but alive.

“We’re going to help him,” Alex assured while she walked with the stretcher, “Is there anything we should know?”

Gideon frowned for a moment, her memories had not fully returned but he was completely clear in her mind, “Do not sedate him. If you need him to be calm at any point then I will talk to him.”

Alex nodded, “I’ll call you in if we need you.”

“No,” Gideon told her, “Until he is in a more cognizant state I will only speak over a radio. Seeing me will confuse him.”

Alex opened her mouth to ask before deciding against it. She started after the patient to help stopping and turning back to Gideon.

“What’s his name?”

Gideon smiled proudly, “Captain Rip Hunter.”

  Winn took the seat at Gideon’s side, placing a mug of tea in front of her. Gideon spared a moment from watching the monitors showing her Captain being cared for by the medical team to give him a grateful smile.

“So this is who you’ve been looking for?” Winn asked.

Gideon nodded happily, “My Captain.”

“Which means?” Winn frowned in confusion.

“That is a long story and one I will tell once I know he is well,” Gideon promised. She continued to watch worried by how thin he was, by how sallow his skin was and she knew he had not been taking care of himself.

A crash from the room indicated Rip was awake and not taking well to being surrounded by strangers.

“Captain Hunter,” Gideon said over the radio, “Please calm yourself. You are safe here and the doctors are trying to help you.”

“Gideon?” he murmured confused.

Hating how anxious he sounded Gideon soothed, “I am here, Captain. I am watching over you.”

He let out a slow breath calming at her voice sliding into unconsciousness once more. Gideon felt tears prick at her eyes leaning into Winn when he wrapped an arm around her, “I hate hearing him this defeated. I never wished to hear it again.”

“He’s going to be fine,” Winn assured her.

At his assurance Gideon leaned into his comfort continuing to watch over her Captain.

  The sound of medical equipment surrounding him was the first thing he heard. His right arm felt heavy but not as sore as he remembered. Forcing open his eyes Rip smiled in relief seeing the woman standing at his side.

“Gideon,” he breathed happily, “I thought I’d lost you.”

She smiled at him, “You should know by now, Captain that I am always here.”

“This is weird,” Rip murmured, “I must be on some really good drugs because I was sure I was awake. But here you are, my Gideon.”

She gently threaded her fingers through his hair making him sigh softly.

“It’s the weirdest dream,” Rip continued, “Because I can feel my injured arm and I never have injuries in my dreams with you.”

“Captain,” Gideon said gently, “You need to wake yourself.”

Rip grimaced, “You’ll still be here when I do?”

“I will,” she promised.

It took him a moment as he couldn’t move his right arm properly. Sliding his left arm over to his right hand, Rip tapped two fingers on his left wrist three times to wake up the way he trained to do. Rip frowned when nothing changed; Gideon was still standing at his side watching over him. He repeated the wrist tap before he checked for his pulse. He knew if he was dreaming then he wouldn’t be able to feel it.

“I’m awake?” Rip asked confused.

Gideon nodded, “Yes, Captain.”

“You’re human?” the amazement in his voice made her smile slightly.

She nodded once more taking his hand in hers, “My memory is vague right now so I am not precisely sure how it happened but I am.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Rip tugged her to him, sliding his arm around her to pull her close in a tight hug, “You’re here. I didn’t lose you.”

Gideon held onto him cuddling close, “I’m here and we are together again.”

[svucarisiaddict]

Saved by Sonny 2

//Here it is folks...the fic that will make you hate me!// Warning: language, some violence and death

“You okay in there?” Sonny’s muffled voice came through the closed bathroom door. “Been in there awhile.”

“I’m fine, Sonny,” you responded exasperatedly. “I’ll be out in a second.” Sonny was standing outside the door when you swung it open. You rolled your eyes and brushed past him.

“I made you a cup of tea. Want to watch a movie?” Sonny suggested as he started to follow you into the bedroom.

“Nope,” you answered.

“You okay? You're being extra cranky today.”

You spun around short of the bedroom threshold. “I don’t want to watch a movie or a damn cup of tea. And yeah I’m cranky. I'm six months pregnant and for the last month, I’ve had either you or Liv or some other cop up my ass. I need five fucking minutes to myself, Sonny!” For a second you felt bad when you saw the pained expression on Sonny’s face as you closed the bedroom door.

“You want space? You got it doll.” The sound of Sonny’s footsteps echoed down the hall. You pushed yourself away from the door.

“Nice, Y/N,” you muttered to yourself. The bed was still unmade from earlier that morning, it crossed your mind to make it but decided to crawl in bed a wrap up in the comforter instead.

When you opened your eyes, the bedroom was mostly dark except for a sliver of light coming under the door. “I’m hungry too little man,” you patted your belly. “Let’s see what we got in the fridge.”

The apartment was quiet and still. No Sonny. No Gus. Sonny left a note for you on the table. I made chicken and noodle soup. Taking Gus for a walk. I’m sorry I’ve been crowding you. I’ll be back later. Love you both.

“Okay. Looks like it’s just me and you kid.” After eating, you curled up on the couch and flicked through the channels before deciding on some reality show. It was a mind-numbing show which was what you needed. “I am such a jerk,” you murmured as you thought about your earlier exchange with Sonny.

Just as you were about to text him, there was a knock at the door. Sonny must have forgotten his key. You pushed yourself up from the couch and shuffled toward the door. “You forget your-”

“Hello again, honey,” Joseph sneered. Immediately you tried to close the door, but he forced it open pushing you off balance causing you to fall.

Your head made a sickening thud as it hit the hardwood floor. The pain shot through your head, instantly making you nauseous and making your ears ring. You screwed your eyes closed and put a hand to your head then your belly.  The last thing you remember was Joseph leaning down, saying something you couldn’t hear, then a vile grin spread across his face.

The apartment was full of cops, CSU and the squad. Sonny was standing, staring at the spot where your head hit the floor and left a small amount of blood.

Liv placed a hand on his shoulder. “Carisi.”

He dashed away tears with the back of his hand. “We had an argument this evenin’. She uh, she was tired of me coddling her. So, I took Gus for a walk to give her some space, ya know. She was sleeping. Thought I’d be back before she even woke up.”

“This was not your fault Sonny. He shot the cop we had posted outside. He planned this-”

“Like hell, this isn’t my fault,” Sonny spat out. “I’m her husband. I promised I’d protect her. That Joseph would never hurt her again. I left…” Tears spilled down his face.

“Oh, Sonny.” Liv gathered Sonny in her arms. “We'll find her. I promise you.”

“Time to wake up,” Joseph's voice broke through your foggy brain. He clapped his hands.

“Ahhh..” you groaned. Your head felt like it weighed a ton and had a dull ache made want to keep your eyes screwed closed. Your other arm was wrapped protectively around your abdomen.

You were in a small, dark one-room apartment with nicotine stained walls. There was s sparse furniture randomly placed around the room, including the stained, odorous couch you were lying on. Stale smoke and a pungent, stinging odor invaded your nostrils. The combination made you nauseous.

Joseph roughly sat you up, grabbed your wrists bound them with rope along with your ankles. “Ow,” you croaked. “Why are you doing this?” You turned your eyes up to Joseph and was met with cold, empty eyes.

He leaned in close, his breath hot in your ear. Cheap whiskey and cigarettes on his breath made your stomach roll. “Why?”, he questioned quietly. “Because you put me in prison you stuck up bitch!” He yelled in your ear.

“Yeah. And you know why,” you shot back. A glimpse of his hand in your peripheral vision was all you saw before he made contact with your cheek. It felt like your cheek and eye were going to explode.

“Now. Maybe you’ll be a little more amenable. Why don’t we call that husband of yours? I’m sure he’s been waiting to hear from us.”

“It’s been three hours.” Sonny ran his hand through his already tousled hair. I can’t sit here and do nothin’,” Sonny grabbed his coat from the chair and headed for the door.

“Carisi. No. Not a good idea,” Amanda asserted. “If you get a call, or they try to contact you-”

Fin approached the group. “We got Joseph on security cam carrying Y/N out of the building-”

“Carrying her?” Sonny’s phone rang, He furrowed his brow at the unknown number. “Carisi.”

“Well hello, there Detective. How ya been?” Joseph’s voice came down the line. Sonny signaled who it was and a trace was started.

“You son of a bitch. Let her go. If you hurt her-”

“You are not really in a place to tell me what to do. So here’s the deal. You get me some things I want, then we’ll talk,” Joseph remarked.

“I want to hear her voice,” Sonny stated.

“I’ll do ya one better.”

Sonny’s phone dinged. When Sonny opened the text he covered his mouth. Your face was red, and your eye swollen and your hands and feet were bound. “What do you want, Joseph?” Sonny inquired, doing his best to keep his voice steady. “I’ll get you whatever you want. Just don’t hurt her.”

“I’ll call you back in an hour with my demands. You better answer.” The line went dead.

The tech signaled that the call was traced. “Let’s move. Get ESU, and call Tucker. We’re going to need a negotiator.”

“What do we know?” Ed asked as he walked with Liv into the command center.

“Perp name is Joseph Andres. Got released two months ago after serving three years of a ten-year sentence for aggravated assault.”

“Detective Carisi’s wife?”

“Yeah. We’ve been trying to catch him for weeks. He killed an officer then kidnapped Y/N,” Liv informed him. “She’s six months pregnant.”

“Jesus. Made any demands?”

“No. He should be calling Carisi back soon.”

Tucker nodded his head. “He’s here? How is he holding up?”

“Not good,” Liv replied.

Joseph pushed the curtain open slightly with the barrel of his gun. “Shit. Fucking cops everywhere.” He paced the floor between you and the window. You held your breath anytime he got close to you.

“Just let me go,” you pleaded, “and they’ll all leave. You can still get out of-”

“Shut. Up. God, you never knew when to shut up,” he cut in. “I’m getting something for my troubles.” He picked his phone up and dialed.

Sonny sat in the mobile command center staring at his phone, willing it to ring. His mind started to wonder. His life before you had been good. He loved his job, his family and had some good friends. But something was missing. It wasn’t until he met you that he figured out what that was. He was smitten that second you walked into the room. Sonny smiled. It took a bit longer to convince you.  Sonny jumped when his phone started ringing. “Joseph what do you-”

“Let me talk to someone out there who knows what they’re doing,” Joseph snapped.

Sonny handed the phone to Tucker. “Joseph. This is Captain Tucker. Before we get started, I need a sign of good faith Y/N is okay.”

“Sonny?” Your panicked voice made Sonny squeeze his eyes closed.

“I’m here doll. I lo-”

“That’s quite enough of that. Here’s what I want.” Joseph had a laundry list of items. “You have two hours.”

“That’s going to be tight, Joseph.”

“Not my problem, now is it? Oh and Detective Carisi the cash personally.” He snarled into the phone then hung up.

“Okay, Sonny.” Fin started. “Get in there, get your girl then get the hell out.”

Sonny nodded. “Got it Sarg.”

“If anything goes wrong, we can be in there in there less than 10 seconds,” Liv said reassuringly and squeezed his shoulder.

Sonny grabbed the straps of the duffel bag, slung it over his shoulder and started to the door of the abandoned building. He took a deep breath. ‘What if he couldn’t pull this off and you got hurt or the baby got hurt. It was just recently revealed that you were having a boy. Sonny had been thrilled to learn he was going to have a son although he would have been just as happy to have a daughter.

“Okay, Joseph. Detective Carisi is on his way up with the money. He’s unarmed,” Tucker informed Joseph as Sonny entered the building.

“Did you hear that? He’s coming to rescue you. A knight in shining armor.” Joseph gave you a malicious grin.

Sonny. The one person that could make this all go away. Make it all better.  You squeezed your eyes shut. Sonny was your person. He was your world. He had brought so much good into your life. He taught you to trust again, love again. And how could someone not love Sonny? A faint smile crossed your lips.

“Snap out of it, bitch-”

“Call my wife another name or lay another finger on her and that’s going to be the last thing you do,” Sonny said confidently.

Joseph’s flashed with fear for a second before he recovered. He leveled his gun to your abdomen. “I think I’m holding all the cards, Detective.”

Sonny dropped the bag beside him on the stained carpet. “Don’t do this Joseph. You shot her, you’re going away forever this time. Take the money and go.”

“Joseph, please,” you begged. Begged for the life of your unborn baby, your life, Sonny’s life. It was a simple plea. One that you hope would reach whatever little amount of humanity he may have left in him.

Joseph lowered the gun tucking into the band of his pants letting you breathe a sigh of relief. He pulled a knife from a holder on his side and leaned over you. He put the knife to the side of your face. “You owe me one,” he whispered lowly. Then leaned over and cut the ties on your hands and ankles.  You gingerly massaged your wrists and move them around. All you wanted to do was run to Sonny’s arms. Feel the safety they provided. He turned to Sonny. “Give me the vest,” he demanded of Sonny gesturing to his flak jacket.

“Okay. You got it. All yours.” Sonny slowly slid the vest off and laid it on the bag backing away.

Joseph kept his gun on Sonny while making his way over and putting the jacket on. He grabbed the bag and started to walk out the door. “Oh, Y/N. Remember when I said if I can’t be happy, neither could you?”

The gunshot rang out in the small room then another. Time stood still. You screamed you know you did. “No! No!” Rushing over to where Sonny was on the floor you went to your knees beside him. “Sonny? Babe.” You pushed your hand to his abdomen where the bullet entered.

“Doll?” He said in a rough voice. “Oww,” he hissed through his teeth. “I love you. Have since the first day I laid eyes on you.”

“I love you too Sonny. So much. I’m sorry for snapping earlier, I-” you choked back a sob.

“Hey. Stop. It’s-ahh- it’s okay. ” He put a hand to your stomach. “I love you too little man.”

ESU, Liv, Fin, officers flooded the room. “We need medics in here now!” Liv called out.

“Joseph is gone. Self-inflicted gunshot the head. He knew he wasn’t gettin’ out of here alive,” Fin stated.

“It’s gonna be okay, doll,” Sonny whispered and was able to give you a weak smile.

“I know it will be.” You smiled then kissed his lips.

Matteo Sonny Carisi was born two days before his Dad’s birthday. You sat in the nursery, slowly rocking your newborn son. He was sated having just finished nursing. Just like his Daddy, always happy after having a good meal. A smile crossed your lips.  You ran a finger down his nose and across his chubby cheek.

“I’m going to tell you a story about your Daddy. His name was Sonny too. He was so excited to be a Daddy and loved your from the second we knew you existed. Your Daddy was the epitome of good. He was the most caring, loving and trustworthy person I have ever met. And I was one of the lucky ones to be loved by him. And I loved him. So much. He protected people. He protected us with his own life.” You laid Matteo down on his crib. “Goodnight sweet boy.”