#i actually cant talk about it or i get more freaked im pretty sure itd be classified as a phobia but i digress. i jsut. am a baby abt it

[tiredrobin-scooted]

ohhh hey nebulous-rain im not gonna @ tag u because. gestures. we are Currently not mutuals bcuz ur icon freaks my bean and this isnt me asking u to change and nor am i complaining, it its jsut an explanation, if u at all noticed or. cared? i hardly remember who im mutuals with so idk how important it was to u. yes im posting this publicly and not sending u a message or an ask . the reason is the aforementioned bean-freaking . thats also why im not @’ing you bcuz i jsut dont wanna see the icon im babymode about it forgive me sexy

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[ellovett]

ehehehe ur staff ocs’ thoughts on coby? 😳 i know i don’t post a lot about him but ill give u the general idea of him

he’s a funky professor who’s really passionate about his job y’know biology n stuff and he can get a lil... too close for comfort sometimes like invading people’s privacy or just being creepy

 AAGH OKAY FUCK I LOVE THIS ASK OKAY WAIT UHH [dies]

Lillet - She thinks Coby is a little strange, but she finds that more endearing than off-putting as he actually reminds her of a dear friend of hers. She finds his passion for his job admirable and is something she can kind of relate to,,because i imagine they both can get a little bit too carried away. Like, Coby can be the weird little shit all he wants in the staff lounge and lillet would just be all, “oh hi coby how are you doing today? :)’ unless if he’s getting too creepy then yeah she’ll be there as impulse control

Jesse - Same with Lillet, Coby reminds Jesse of a close friend he has, and because of that he’s mostly unfazed by his creepy/odd habits. And honestly I can see him being pretty interested into what Coby does and might even join him sometimes, like ‘oh thank satan i can actually talk about this pretty weird thing im genuinely curious about to someone without freaking them out that’s kinda pog.’, is the opposite of impulse control, will encourage Coby out of genuine curiosity.

Cyric - This is the friend Lillet and Jesse were referring to. I feel like they can’t even be in the same room together their weird/odd minds would just collide and everything would implode, everyone is lucky that they don’t teach at the same school they just dodged a bullet. But legit though I can see them being pretty good science buddies, they can go in their weird little corner and be weird little friends and talk about odd things itd be kinda epic.

Fleur - “...scary ;;” she’d be kinda nervous around Coby since she’d find him intimidating and scary, she sees him as a pretty shady character and tends to avoid him in fear that she’d make him angry and all that ;; she would be drawn to the fact that he’s technically a spider but other than that she’d try to avoid him if she can im sorry ;; but I’m sure Coby’s a pretty good guy!!

Akna - Isn’t one to socialize so she doesn’t really have any opinion on him, she DOES find his subject extremely interesting and is very tempted to listen in on or make a subject collaboration with him as she is sort of experienced in that field. She doesn’t really mind that he can be a little creepy, like the entire staff is just full of weirdos including her, so overall she’s more interested into what he teaches much more than him as a person ;; but her curiosity of other’s professions usually lead her to making unintentional friendships so-

Krahn - he thinks Coby’s cool! he enjoys the professor’s company and just sees him as this funky cool dude! little spider man! but legit tho krahn would like him, he thinks he’s neat, i mean yeah Coby can be kinda creepy at times but that doesn’t really stop Krahn from being nice to him!

(hhhh i cant do rudolph bc he teaches at rsa and rarely ever visits nrc ;;; so he wouldn’t really have much to say about coby, but thank you so much for this ask pete!! writing this was sm fun ;;)

[zeravmeta]

Give me your absolute best YGO x Fate headcanons

Ah gee since ya asked so nicely heres my convoluted crossover AU. Also this got hella long so I'll add a readmore

-the protags would all wind up at Chaldea due to being summoned by the godly powers within their own universes (Egyptian Gods, Crimson Dragon, etc.) and are tasked with helping them. Yugi is pre Ceremonial Duel (for Atem), the rest are from post series

-Gudas just so used to all the weirdness surrounding them so they take it in stride. Holmes on the other hand is losing it because he fears they may have been some type of dimensional collapse. He freaks out further when some of the kids say "oh yeah that happens all the time". Da Vinci sets them up to assist Guda since they can use magic (at least half of them use magic and the other half literally fuse with duel monsters) without needing magic circuits (which interests her GREATLY) so she introduces them as a set of new masters to help.

-their decks are still with them but now instead of being confined to the game they can actually summon them as Familiars/Phantasmals, though they can only support a few at a time.

-most, if not all servants are suspicious of these new masters (guda is my favorite master i dont need another one), but its only initial waryness since these are actual kids like Guda and they default to Parent Mode. Theyre even more surprised to learn about the exploits within their own worlds.

Now onto some of the dynamics:

-Yugi would just be happy to meet all these heroes from history. He understands the seriousness of the situation and despite his initial kickback he'd be onboard to help. Atem would take this opportunity to ask around to see if any of these ancient heroes would know him (since pre ceremonial duel he'd know who he is from Mem World). The Pharaohs (Ozy, Nito, Cleo) would be surprised about a Pharoah they've never met before, and especially his divinity since he could summon three Egyptian Gods to aid him. He was from 3000 years in the past so Egypt was beginning in its decline, so such a modern (relatively) Pharoah holding such power would shock them, though in the end Ozymandias would still declare him one of his friends and theyd get along. Yugi would leave the Puzzle with the Pharoahs so they could speak while he went around meeting a bunch of the heroes. He'd love to play with some of the kids though he has earned his fair share of ire since the King of Games never loses on Game Night, Poker Night, or any other type of games. Yugi has more supportive abilities in his skillset for the ourposes of battle, while Atem can more freely use his shadow magic since he's being supplied.

-Judai is more nonplussed than anything. He was already wandering the world so for him this is just another checkpoint. He finds the ability to summon his monsters as familiars more convebiant than anything since he could already speak to them. Many of the magic users are particularly interested in his ability to talk to spirits since its a rare ability in general and usually limited to one type of phantasmal, not to mention empathetic abilities on their own are somewhat unheard of in Nasuverse. Yubel is a protective force around him and for combat training scenarios shes extremely hard to get around since her deflection ability, while hard to maintain when Yubel uses her final form, is pretty much on par with Lord Camelot in terms of defense. He's generally friendly but comes off as rude sometimes due to his general nonchalance. Gets along especially well with some of the more volatile servants like Berserkers and Avengers since his empathetic abilities are soothing to them.

-Yusei is cautious and guarded here. He has responsibilities in his own world he'd want to get back too, but doesn't have it in him to just leave. His D-Wheel somehow came along (Yuya shivers in the distance) with him, so Da Vinci did the only reasonable thing upon seeing a miniature perpetual motion machine and tried to impound it immediately for study. Yusei was happy to share his info and skills on Momentum and implementing it into Chaldeas energy systems, something that had Tesla and Edison proud since one so young was already (but only barely) supassing AC and DC. Holmes was also extremely interested in Clear Mind and the Crimson Dragin, since Yusei managed to consolidate his own concentration into pure evolutionary energy and may have accidentally interacted with an elder god in the process (kinda like Holmes). Yusei assures him the Crimson Dragon isn't evil and that its called Quetzalcoatl, which has Fate Quetz coming in and asking about herself, further complicating Yusei's confusion on the Crimson Dragon. For combat, he starts off supportive by swarming his field with low power monsters before suddenly summoning a more powerful one. With Over Top Clear Mind they become even more powerful and evolve on their own, so Stardust can become Shooting, but summoning Quasar is very dangerous since its extremely powerful but taxxing.

-Yuma is absolutely excited. Astral not so much. "Astral these are literal HEROES how can you not be excited!?" "Idk probably the part where they'll kill us if we take a wrong step?". Yuma loves to hang around servants like Drake, Shiki and Beowulf, and loves swapping stories of their adventures. Abigail heard about aliens and wonders if Yog Soghoth is an alien, but Yuma tells her that the Astrals and Barians are not like Yog Soggoth, even if Don Thousand as described kinda sounds like him. Astral can be seen since since Heroic Spirits are consolidations of magic while Astral was basically an energy being of the same type, and does float through the halls, occasionally scaring someone by mistake. He does get along with a mysterious woman in a kimono who seems to appear in the twilight hours, but he cant ever really remember her face. In combat Astral and Yuma can do their usual combination form which causes their Numbers to automatically Rank Up upon summoning, the higher the form the further they can rank.

-Yuya has it a bit rough at first. He just got out of a war and now he was being dragged into another? Thankfully he gets his bearings quickly but is still somewhat shaken. Some of the servants are wary around him because they can feel the distortion that exists within his soul, his three other versions, and the power that could trun him into the Supreme King once again still exists there even if Zarc has passed on. He gets along with Siegfried well enough, and they swap stories about how the expectations of others can lead you to ruin. The Alter Egos feel a kinship to him since he's also a consolidated personality rather than a full person, though he gets along best with the Celts. Cu, Scathach and Fergus all love to see his performances, but to them that just meant that they can put him through warrior training especially after they hear about the war he went through. Scathach insists that him running for his life while she chases is good training, while Cu agrees while running alongside him. In battle he uses his acrobatic prowess enhanced with a little bit of fortification/protection magic, and can summon all four of his dragons to help him. Since the other Yu Boys are stuck within Yuya, they occasionally trade places:

Yuto gets along with Archer and occasionally helps him out. Archer is sympathetic to the struggles he unerwent in his own world and makes sure to keep his spirits up while also trying to ignore the irony.Yugo and David have struck up a strange friendship since they both have the issue of mistaking people for their so. David sees Yugo talk about how even if his life was hard it was worth it for the people he loved and remembers his son fondly.Yuri is generally avoided since even after the merge he's still something of a wildcard, but he gets along well with Hans and Kiara of all people. Sometimes he'd share the stories of the training he underwent in Academia, how the Professor trained him to see people as toys and all the people he's hurt, how his dragon was his only friend and how itd protect him, and Hans couldn't help but hate his pessimistic attitude in expecting this while Kiara wouldn't really care too much but also wouldn't insult him by offering condolences. He knows he's become a monster and he won't deny or forget his mistakes, he'll simply try to do better.

-[note: Vrains suddenly had its ending announced for Sept.25 (i believe it may have been cancelled) so based on the episode title of 120 Yusaku and Ai will reunite and thats what im following here] Yusaku is skittish at best, downright invisible at worst. He doesn't want to be found, and even some of the Assassin Class servants have trouble tracking him down when needed. Ai managed to bring along a spare SOLtis body with him so he can walk around and physically interact with Yusaku. Even if they still had some tension between them they still cared about each other so they would keep each other company. It got real awkward when BB first showed up talking about being a sentient AI, so Ai immediatelt tried to befriend her, only to learn about her inhuman nature. While Ai may dislike that aspect of her, he knows from what happened with Roboppy that you cant forcibly change what you are, so he does his best to try and get along, which infuriates BB to no end since she feels like she's being talked down to. Yusaku as a programmer helps with most of Chaldeas regular workforce and he accomplishes hiding in plain sight by being the only master to interact more with the regular work staff than their servants. That being said, it doesn't change how some like Tamamo or Suzuka try to drag him out so he can meet some of the other servants. He gets along well with Kerry. Likely because they barely speak and share E Rank Luck.

[rqs902]

OMGOSHH EP 5 IS YAO CHI APPRECIATION TIME YESSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSS 

ok bc i couldnt help but include some spoilers, the rest is going under the cut:

iqiyi giving mr tyger all the group shots bc........

BROOOOO CHEN SIJIAN’S RAP!!!!!!!!!!!! omgogomg this is where wuzelinwuzelinwuzelinsunzelinsunzelinsunzelinkeqinmingkeqinmingkeqinming comes frommmm i love itttt his lyrics are hilarious!!! and also immediately being like ‘ill get rid of wu zelin!’ when mc jin brings it up HAHHAHA

daniel is a cutie!!!!

yao chi talking about his rap..... wow can i hug him hes amazing

awwww xia hanyu talking about wenhan..... wenhan’s really done a lot for him

wait that whole last bit where they leave dachang is just obvious iqiyi favoritism and it kinda makes me sad.....

UGH honestly the worst part about jia yi being so popular is that hes gonna miss his tyger gege’s when he has to leave them behind....

by the time lin mo was called, he was already so done... he looked so defeated.... because he knew they wouldnt be able to stay together and its so heartbreaking..... 

OKAY THESE SPECIAL TEACHERS WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK. OH MY GOODNESSSSS HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE EVERY SINGLE TYGER MEMBER EXCEPT THE ONES THAT ACTUALLY NEED TO BE CHOSEN???!??!?!! THATS SO FRUSTRATING ALSDKJALSK LITERALLY EVEN IQIYI WANTED THEM TO BE CHOSEN!! THEY LITERALLY PAN TO EITHER JIN FAN OR ZHEN NAN AT EVERY SINGLE BREAK I SWEAR AALSKDJLKKSDK

jia yi hesitating at the end...... and zhen nan’s words at the end.... HES FREAKING 61!!!!!!1 61!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS FREAKING JIANG JINGZUO ALL OVER AGAIN BUT THEY DIDNT LET HIM SPEAK WTFFFFF ok if youre gonna keep giving zhen nan and jin fan screentime bc yall regret eliminating them so early why you dont give them screentime at the end when it really matters????? i wanna see what zhen nan would say (jingzuo’s last minute screentime got him a lot of attention too... the fact that they didnt give zhen nan any is NOT HELPING) and i wanna see jin fan and chen youwei’s freaking last friendship bc youwei was rooting for him the whole time bc HE KNOWS JIN FAN DESERVES TO MAKE IT!!!!

AHHHHHHHH LIN MO ITS LIN MO!!!??! HE’S INJURED!!?! AAAHHSHHGHHGHH NOT MY CHILD WTF NOOO!! lakjsdlakalsk omgosh please be alright..... it sounded like his voice making that pained sound, and the person was blonde so i think its lin mo....... noooo my heart.... i cant take more stress, we literally just had elims..... so lin mo has to say goodbye to his friends (including his best friend...) and then he gets injured???? alsdkjlakj ughhhh 

omgosh daniel getting the special time at the end is just another stab to the heart goodness.... he was my favorite oaca kid from the start.... 

i cant believe chen you made it and daniel didnt.... also im so sad that like ou tianrui was the only one who didnt make it from bg project, that must be so sad... also sad that yao chi is the only one from mavericks that made it... losing all your closest friends at once :c im happy for guan yue and mingming going up, they deserve it 

WHOEVER MADE THE ENDING CREDITS IS LIN MO BIASED HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WTFFF THERES 3 CUTS OF HIM AND 2 OF THEM ARE REALLY EXTRA AND THE THIRD ISNT EVEN FROM THIS EPISODE HAHAHAH WHO INCLUDED THAT???!! i mean yes he looks very sad and is crying there but its like so random i laughed (im sorry)

okay not gonna lie i didnt cry as much as i thought i would. yes it was sad but i kinda already knew that jin fan and zhen nan werent gonna make it so i was more just FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY watching the whole thing and seeing them get random bits of screentime (YOURE TOO LATE IQIYI) but i heard rumors and then when i saw those goodbye videos they uploaded on weibo today....... my heart sank like oh goodness its real...... i cant live in denial forever.... I STILL CANT BELIEVE ZHEN NAN WAS FREAKING 61 AND JIN FAN WAS FREAKING UNDERAPPRECIATED WTFFFFF everyone on jin fan’s team im sure was rooting for him bc they knew how he was so vital to their success --- he literally taught them all the choreo wtf chen youwei would be nothing without jin fan..... ughhhh alsdkjalsdkjlaks this is so frustrating im so sad for him....... but now i just really wish jin fan and zhen nan do some really cool stuff and stay active while they wait for the others. i think its likely (sadly) that zhan yu will get eliminated the next round, (but im honestly surprised and grateful that the special teachers recognized his talent! he realllyy killed that ‘retreat’ stage even tho zhenning is getting all the attention) and lin mo is liked by iqiyi (i think) but i dont think he has enough potential to actually make it into the top 9... or maybe its just my wishful thinking bc i hope mr.tyger can go on promoting without jia yi, but without jia yi AND lin mo, itd get pretty rough for them, so if at least lin mo stays behind with mr. tyger, i think they could potentially still do somewhat well in the meantime while jia yi goes off to debut with the top 9 and they wait for him to come back

and now for my random predictions: 

right now its rather fixed that wenhan, guan yue, and jia yi will make it. I think youwei, huaiwei, mingming, chunyang, wang jiayi are all likely, which means most of them will make it (but probably not all), and then xixi.... honestly i feel like xixi wont make it (BUT I REALLY LIKE XIXI) but i think iqiyi doesnt like him enough to give him enough screentime for him to make it (at least at this current rate....) also please note that YAO MINGMING WAS THE ONLY ONE FROM THE TOP 9 who did NOT get to go on that trip to leave dachang coughiqiyihatesmingming but luckily/hopefully mingming is popular enough to get votes anyway, LIKE MINE BC I VOTE FOR MINGMING). other than the current top 9, I think its likely either shi zhan or li zhenning or deng chaoyuan will make it. zhenning is the lowest of the three right now, but iqiyi likes him and hes gotten the approval of all the judges AND he was able to shoot up a ridiculous amount from pretty much just ONE DAY of voting (maybe a week at max, counting from the time they released the solo cams), and these votes have been tallying for the past month. so can you imagine how much more he’ll shoot up next time? he has a ton of potential to make it. shi zhan is already up there but iqiyi really likes him too bc of how hilarious he is, and jolin’s approved his smile so i can see him getting more and more screentime too. yao chi i think is also likely, bc he won 1st place visuals hahah that gets him attention from the public but also the staff, so i think theyll give him more and more screentime too. plus he has a touching backstory and mc jin has approved of him too. i think yao chi is someone who they’ve depicted as really humble and works really hard, and they like his smile. (who doesnt hahaha) but ofc there’s probably gonna be a lot of toss up in the rankings yet to come. from ip1 we learned that 70% of the kids were fixed from the start hahaha but 2-3 of them can come from behind, so who knows. iqiyi seems to really like cheche and wangzhe (how did wangzhe and wu chengze get to go on the trip to leave dachang but not mingming?? i mean i really like chengze tbh but i was just so surprised he was there! hahaha it seems so random bc hes #22?? i mean good for him but still)

anyway im all in all kinda all tired from watching a stressful 3 hrs lol but tbh i feel like they didnt show as much of the fun hotpot time as id hoped... and what about all the other rankings besides #1 visual? i dont really understand why they took a few random kids (who, no surprise, all dont get eliminated this ep) out of dachang for that trip.... i like a lot of those kids honestly, but id rather have seen more of the big group bonding / singing over hotpot (giving some of the kids who get eliminated some last screentime before they leave) or at least like find out who ranked in #1 boyfriend or something like that hahaha.... oh well..... now its time for me to go wallow in some mr tyger content so i can mourn the loss of our two children.... 

[wannasoftimagine]

lee daehwi as your soulmate

imagine having daehwi as ur soulmate where u have the date u meet written on ur wrist

(as requested!)

ur soulmate clue isnt really visible for awhile just bc ure like. a tiny kid for the first majority of ur life lol

for awhile u just have a smudge of ink on ur wrist so,,, u dont rlly have a choice but to let it be

ANYWAYS

once u start to get older, the markings on ur wrist start to become more and more clear

ure not super sure if theyre letters or numbers or smthn else, bc it doesnt show up on ur skin quite right yet

eventually, ure able to decipher it as a set of numbers and ure like. okay cool BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN

u talk it over w some of ur family and friends, and everyone seems to have their own idea abt what it means

but the more ppl u talk to, the more they start to agree tht it seems like a date - for several years in the future

at tht point u realize that its probably the day tht ull finally meet ur soulmate, so theres not rlly much u can do abt it until then

ure a little tempted to try and search for someone with a similar clue, but there are just SO MANY to sort thru tht u decide its not rlly worth it

u try and focus on urself - struggling thru school, spending time w family/friends, typical stuff that most ppl ignore bc theyre too busy searching for their soulmate

honestly its kinda nice knowing when ull meet ur soulmate, since u can relax until then

time passes bc u kno. tht tends to happen in life

SO

it starts to get closer and closer to the date when u meet and NOW the nerves are coming

bc ure like ?? what are they like? what if i dont like them? what if they dont like //me//? where are we gonna meet? what time? do they have the same clue? what if i dont recognize them????

honestly ure a mess of worries by the time the day comes

trying to sleep the night before is almost impossible since ure such a bundle of doubts as u toss and turn in ur bed

come morning, u do ur best to dress as nice as u can

but honestly ure starting to doubt ur sense of fashion and style at this point

eventually u have to calm urself down bc theres no point in stressing out too much, or else ure just going to freak out and have an awful day, soulmate or not

then ure like waaaait a second,,

n u realize tht u dont know when exactly or where ure going to meet ur soulmate

which makes things much harder tbh

u settle on staying on a park bench, watching ppl pass and letting ur wrist casually rest beside u so its out in the open

ure hoping tht someones just going to walk by and be like oH HELLO SOULMATE

as time goes on u realize tht ure not that lucky

actually ure prob rlly unlucky bc bugs seem like theyre attacking u and u take tht as ur cue to leave

ure wandering around a little bit when u stumble across this cute little hole-in-the-wall cafe, so u decide to go in and rest ur feet there

(also maybe meet ur soulmate bc tht would be super Aesthetic u feel)

anyways

u wait around with a cup of coffee and a bagel, hoping that ull see someone walk in with a mark similar to urs

u realize pretty quickly tht it wont happen bc 1) so many ppl keep coming in and out, and 2) no one walks around showing off their wrist tbh

tht leaves u growing more frustrated and worried in ur spot

part of u wants to just approach random strangers and ask “listen im meeting my soulmate today CAN I SEE UR WRIST”

but the realistic part of u is like “what the heck no dont do tht”

u settle on agreeing with the latter

at some point, as ure boring holes into the dozens of strangers frequenting the cafe, u start to nod off

u dont even notice until one of the workers is shaking u awake with a polite smile and telling u tht the store is closing, so ure going to have to please leave

thts when ure like “wow,,, i was rlly tired bc it is LATE outside” but also “WAIT WHAT IF MY SOULMATE CAME HERE WHEN I WAS ASLEEP”

even as u frantically look around, u dont see any cutely written messages from ur presumed soulmate or anything like tht

all u can think is tht maybe ur soulmate clue doesnt mean what u thought it did

after all, its around evening already, and u still havent seen a sign of them

u end up wandering around outside again, too worried abt the possibility of never meeting ur soulmate to be freaked out over the whole “tiny kid walks around alone in the dark!!!!” thing

anywho

u keep checking ur phone (and feeling rlly grateful tht u havent run out of battery yet) and time just keeps to slip thru ur fingers

u end up going to a small restaurant for dinner, but its a place tht uve visited before and u dont see anyone new that could be ur soulmate

afterwards u decide to head on home with a heavy heart

u keep thinking “mb its not the date when we meet??”

but honestly ure not sure what else it could be

like is it the date ur soulmate is born?? but thtd be a kinda creepy age difference,,

and,,,, okay yeah u cant rlly think of anything else

u may or may not get lost a couple of times bc ure so absorbed in ur own thoughts

it doesnt help tht ure not exactly the best with directions

by the time u think ure nearing ur home, ur phone flashes at u with the time 11.51pm and ure like “???!!!!!!!!!!!”

u dont even know what to think at tht point

but then u get hit with the realization tht ure not meeting ur soulmate today and u might never meet them at all, and ure crushed with this aching sense of nothingness

ure just about ready to curl into a ball and just lie on the street for the rest of ur life when u hear someone yell “URE WALKING IN CIRCLES”

and u snap ur head up to try and see who said tht, and u see someone sticking his head out of his window and gesturing wildly

“wHAT” u manage to yell back, bc itd be embarrassing if this guy was trying to help u navigate around and u ended up sobbing back in response

“URE GOING IN CIRCLES UVE PASSED MY WINDOW LIKE 10 TIMES”

and thats.. just as embarrassing tbh

“ARE U LOST??? WHERE DO U LIVE”

all good intentions aside, u frown at his figure to tell him “IM NOT TELLING U WHERE I LIVE”, a pause, and then u add on “U CREEP” bc ure a strong independent individual who doesnt need any freaky dude in ur life

“AT LEAST USE UR PHONE OR SMTHN!!!! URE NEVER GOING TO GET HOME AT THIS POINT”

u feel a little dumb at that bc,,, honestly uve been so wrapped up in ur head tht u kinda forgot u could just use ur phone for directions back home

still just as u pull it out, it flashes a “dead battery” symbol and just. dies on u

“ITS DEAD” u tell the guy, altho ure not rlly sure why ure telling him this bc what if he really is a creep and now he knows u cant call for help ??????????

“IM COMING DOWN”

okay, thats definitely not helping ur i-think-hes-a-serial-killer idea

when he finally closes the window and makes his way down and outside to u, uve prepared urself with a rock

just,, in case,,,,,

(its not even a really good rock but u gotta do what u gotta do)

“i didnt want to keep yelling” the guy says, and he looks much sweeter in person (and when hes not screaming directions at u)

he sticks out his hand and ure like ?? but u take it anyways

“im lee daehwi!! do u want to borrow my phone?” he holds it out to u and even tho ure really tempted to take it, ure still a little skeptical

“if i put my address in there, then ull know where i live and u can track me afterwards”

he seems to find tht both very amusing and very insulting, since his face contorts into a half-laugh half-grimace

its a funny sight in of itself, so u cant help but smile at his expression

u end up bickering a little bit, and by the time he shoves his phone into ur face, u glance at the time and its past midnight and oh

today isnt the day u meet ur soulmate, then

ur face falls and he immediately yanks his hand back, obviously concerned

“are u okay?? whats wrong????”

and even tho hes still basically a stranger u cant help but show ur wrist to him and manage to explain tht u thought u were going to meet ur soulmate today, but its too late bc u still havent met them

but daehwi is giggling and ure like “dONT BE A JERK” but hes already pushing his own wrist into ur face

instead of the date, his reads “11.51 PM” in the same small dark font, and its like oh. OHHHHH

he pushes at ur shoulder, teasing u tht ur clue was more obvious bc “i had to wait around every day to see if i met someone new!!! i just want to sleep but i had no idea when id meet u”

and even as hes pouting u can barely process how relieved u are so u. accidentally zone out juuuust a little bit

he notices of course, and manages to get ur attention by saying “im glad its u tho bc ure super cute”

u stare at him, suddenly super focused on him, and he laughs

“i was just trying to get ur attention, but i do think ure rlly cute”

ure both still a bit in shock, but u manage to carry on conversations well enough bc now tht u know ure each others soulmates, ure desperate to talk to each other forever

he ends up insisting on cutting ur convo short and walking u home bc its so late, but he gives u his number and a quick, embarrassed peck on the cheek with a promise to talk to u soon

its even harder to fall asleep that night, ur head filled the memory of daehwi grinning at u like ure the best thing hed ever seen

others: jisung | sungwoon | daniel | woojin | more coming soon!

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[aerisse-remade]

i was gonna make a post abt a specific occurence but i realized it would sound weird(er than it already is) without any background info so yeah. infodump

so sometime in early august i got out of an unhealthy relationship. im not gonna give all the details but anyway my (now) ex wanted to get back with his ex. he and the ex in question also had/has an unhealthy relationship imo. they constantly fought and cheated on each other ykno. theyre constantly on and off. anyway my ex had been my friend for like. 7 yrs prior. and senior year we got a lot closer. and my ex would talk about his relationship with his ex/bf (idk if theyre still currently dating but i assume they are). theyve been on/off for like... 3 or 4 yrs at that time

so while he was talking abt his relationship to me nd another mutual friend, we were both like "maybe you should break up". and my friend (ex) started to like.. hit on other ppl while dating his bf (...who i was also friends with), including me and our mutual friend. she brushed him off and thought it was weird/funny and i thought so too when he started doing it to me. but i was also flattered at the same time? anyway at first i brushed him off too when he hit on me, and i would tell him that i wouldnt do anything with him unless he broke up with his bf. 

so then he started to get a sad and contemplative and shit and then i realized that like. he was being serious. anyway i was uncomfortable with it after that but i still hung out w him amyway. one time he invited me and j (our mutual friend) to L's (his bf) house for some small party. which is a pretty stupid move on his part tbh but anyway i was like sure!! itd be nice to see L again. but j didnt want to come so it was just gonna be me, my ex, L, and his friends/bandmates

before going to L's place, my ex and i hung out at his house. and started to get all touchy with me?? like he'd lay on me n shit and i was super uncomfortable but i didnt say anything bc i didnt want to upset him. so we ended up at L's place and its... messy to say the least. anyway he and L started arguing and L and his friends were treating my ex like shit. so i got upset and i kept telling c (my ex) that he really should break up with him and that we should leave. but he didnt listen and for like.. the next 20 minutes i was so uncomfortable and felt so unwelcome that i demanded c to take me home. and on the way back, i told him that he needed to tell L that he was hitting on me/had feelings for me. so ofc he got upset.

later that day i saw a post he made and he tagged it as suicide note so obv i was concerned as hell and i tried calling him like a million times but he wouldnt pick up. i told j abt it so she tried calling him too. he didnt pick up. so the next few days were absolute hell. i was feeling like absolute shit and i was an anxious mess. i called him again and left a voicemail. it was like. 11 pm when i was about to try and sleep. he finally messaged me then saying shit like "i cant tell him" "im gonna kill myself" and so ofc i freak out and lie to him and say "its ok!! you dont have to tell him!!" just so he wouldn't hurt himself

and eventually i lied again and said smth like "its ok, you dont have to tell him. im fine with him not knowing" literally just bc i didnt want him to hurt himself. obviously im gonna tell him anything to persuade him to not do anything. i made him promise to see me the next day so we could talk more abt it. so we met the next day. some time during the evening he said he wanted to kiss me. i was uncomfortable as fuck but i already lied to him and said i was fine with it!! so what the fuck was i supposed to do!!! 

...anyway eventually i actually developed feelings for him so i tried even harder to convince him to break up with L, ...and L found out bc he was snooping thru c's messages. he asked me shit like 'how could i' and how betrayed he felt. i apologized to him and told him that i shouldnt have let c do anything. but at the same time i was angry. how dare he come to me and tell me HE was betrayed and how hurt HE was when he and c were constantly fighting and cheating on each other?? how dare he make me feel like I should be the one to apologize for stepping in when his relationship was failing?? 

eventually they broke up and c and i started dating. our relationship was unhealthy too, and mostly bc of me and my paranoia. i tend to have intense but unstable relationships. anyway i guess that just brings me back up to the top, where i mentioned c wanting to get back with his ex. 

i originally didnt mean to post all of this bc i only wanted to talk abt a specific occurence but i felt it needed to have background info.

[hinanaha]

1-170 :)

lmfao james i swear to god

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? i wish i was 160cm cause i wanna be short and also then my weight would be healthy lmao2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) we all know i want a norwegian forest cat, and also a lizard would be cute3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? long flowing dress or skirts w blouses4: What was your favorite video game growing up? pokemon5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my cats, what i will eat and how much a wanna be picked up and spun around one day6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? it wouldnt say anything it`d just have the crying laughing emoji like deepfried on red tape7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? u didnt say anything for this so ill state my opinion on meat which is yuck8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] none rlly fit me tbh9: Are you ticklish? yea….. 10: Are you allergic to anything? nope11: What’s your sexuality? lesbian (femme lesbian specifically)12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? coffee, tho i like all13: Are you a cat or dog person? CAT, im very picky abt dogs14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? idk like i dont rlly watch youtube for anyone inparticular i just watch whatever16: How tall are you? 170cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? opal, just cause its my middle name and opals are my favourite gemstone18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] about 50kg (ik im underweight if anyone is concerned btw im fine its a sideaffect of one of my medications)19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? yes20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i love sharks and jellyfish so the ocean, however i am fucking scared of octopuses21: Are you religious? nope, never have been22: Pet peeves? men.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? why does diurnal sound like urinal, but i like the day so that24: Favorite constellation? the pot thing cause its easy to spot25: Favorite star? the biggest one there is26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? i dont rlly see much of a use for them27: Any phobias or fears? arachnophobia, and aslo the dark 28: Do you think global warming is real? um yes definitely, because im not stupid29: Do you believe in reincarnation? i mean there aint even close to enough science backing or not backing it so i couldnt say, im neutral 30: Favorite movie? idk31: Do you get scared easily? id say more anxious then scared, like im a very jumpy and shaky person32: How many pets have you owned in your lifetime? idk like 20+ (chickens count)33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] yes34: What is a color that calms you? peachy colours and whites35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i would love to hike somewhere someday tbh i think itd be rlly magical, and i love nature so much36: Where were you born? Melbourne37: What is your eye color? blue grey38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? to an extent40: Hugs or kisses? both at the same time41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? honestly kinda wanna see my nan rn for some reason42: Who is someone you love deeply? definitely my mum, she is the most important person to me43: Any piercings you want? i want a nose piercing, maybe a small decorative ring44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yess i love them, i rlly want a tattoo someday45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? no i dont want to46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! i don`t have one47: What is a sound you really hate? i cannot stand the sound of animals licking themselves48: A sound you really love? wind chimes49: Can you do a backflip? i could if i wanted to50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? ashley johnston52: Favorite movie? this was already asked lmao53: How are you feeling right now? pretty chill but also kinda sad for no actual reason54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? im feelin a burgundy colour tbh55: When did you feel happiest? nothing specific rlly56: Something that calms you down? music57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] i have ADD also p bad anxiety58: What does your URL mean? mango boba yum59: What three words describe you the most? anti-social goblin witch 60: Do you believe in evolution? i do biology so yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog? they post stuff i dont care abt or triggering content62: What makes you follow a blog? pretty picture63: Favorite kind of person: someone who makes me feel special/loved64: Favorite animal(s): cats, bees, lizards, crows65: Name three of your favorite blogs. idfk tbh66: Favorite emoticon: im not on mobile but the sparkling heart one67: Favorite meme: i dont have a favourite68: What is your MBTI personality type? Infp/intp69: What is your star sign? taurus70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no they cannot71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? pyjamas72: Post a selfie or two? icbb73: Do you have platform shoes? yes74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? i have a double jointed shoulder on one arm75: Can you do a front flip? yes76: Do you like birds? yes chirp 77: Do you like to swim? no lol it sucks i cant breath well when i swim and it freaks me out78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? ice skating, i love it, would take up lessons if they were available79: Something you wish didn’t exist: flies80: Some thing you wish did exist: giant domestic cats81: Piercings you have? just simple ear piercings82: Something you really enjoy doing: doing creative things w friends83: Favorite person to talk to: u already know its the council 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? funny mem85: How many followers do you have? 168 (i had 470 on my old blog)86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? ye but not always87: Do your socks always match? yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yeah89: What are your birthstones? idk90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? surprising but id be a fox not a cat91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? lavenders baby92: A store you hate? bendigo iga, its shit93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1 otherwise my hands shake94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? neither tbh95: Do you like to wear camo? ii guess if it looks good96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? a pretty long time actually, once held my breath for 3 minutes underwater98: Least favorite person? my dad99: Someone you look up to: no one100: A store you love? i dont like kpop anymore, but the owners of happytown were always so nice to me so i rlly like that store because of that101: Favorite type of shoes converse102: Where do you live? austrlia103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? im vegetarian, but i eat mostly vegan food, i rlly like animals and dont like the idea of eating them, also eating too many animal products can be unhealthy 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? opal105: Do you drink milk? ye but not on its own106: Do you like bugs? yes, silly creetures107: Do you like spiders? im scared of them108: Something you get paranoid about? i dont rlly get paranoid much, but i sometimes get rlly paranoid something be watching me109: Can you draw: ye, reblog my art pls @yumeuwu110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? i cant remember lmao111: A question you hate being asked? i cant think of anything112: Ever been bitten by a spider? nope113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yeah its pretty nice114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? both i guess,  tho respectfully to their matching seasons115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: id cuddle my future gf rn :`)116: Favorite cloud type: .. w… poofy cloud117: What color do you wish the sky was? yellow would be pretty, but not piss yellow cause that`d be weird118: Do you have freckles? yea faint ones119: Favorite thing about a person: their lips, lips pretty120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies121: Something you want to do right now: sit on a warm hill in silence122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? im more of a savoury person124: Bright or dim lights? dim, sexy125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? i mean it aint impossible126: Something you hate about Tumblr: pointless discourse127: Something you love about Tumblr: nice people128: What do you think about the least? idfk129: What would you want written on your tombstone? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? no one, but im always ready to punch something131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? im very very selfless, which is nice but also makes me rlly sad sometimes132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? nah133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? hell yeah, they fun135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? i get motion sickness136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed137: Do you believe in karma? i guess138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? probably a 7, like im p cute139: What nicknames do you have/have had? uhhh anepeace (die mr flanagan that nickname is so ugly)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? no, not that desperate yet (no offence to those who do have them im sure ur lovely)141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yeah i see a psychologist monthly and also psychiatrist 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? id like to say good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? recieving144: What makes you angry? assholes145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls ;3147: Are you androgynous? nah148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: i have nice shoulders149: Favorite thing about your personality: i try to be considerate of others 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. idk151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? honestly fine w this one152: Do you like BuzzFeed? some things153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] dont have one :((154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? nah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yea, prefer people playing w my hair tho156: What embarrasses you? anything that puts me at the centre of attention among strangers157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: loud noises158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i dont rlly tell lies so notin159: How many people are you following? i cbb to check160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 7000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 1162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? idfk163: Last time you cried and why: i cried cause i saw a floofy cat164: Do you have long or short hair? short hair165: Longest your hair has ever been: hip length166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? most religious views ive heard make no sense when compared to science so i dont rlly believe it167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? nah168: Do you like to wear makeup? sometimes169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no im weak170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? ye

[somberthoughtsseldomeffort]

Going through all my text quotes and you can see when i slowly fall out of love.. hahah  I literally haven’t been this happy in the longest time ever. I haven’t written in my book since the feelings were mutual. He makes me so happy without even trying and its the lamest feeling in the entire world. It sucks that it only took him 2 years to finally admit to liking me, or that it took me 5 months of talking to him for me to realize that i liked him back. He wasnt exactly my type, but darling did he steal my affection in a heartbeat. Finally, someone who liked me for me and not for what i can offer, someone who would rather just watch netflix with me in bed than do something like go out on an expensive date. Someone who will just hold me in his arms while im having a bad day and just reassure me that everything will be fine. It just sucks that you have to be leaving tomorrow and that i dont even get to see you leave. I really, really like you.    And i think ill tell you that before you go, and it will be the lamest thing that i have ever done in my 18 years of life. Cause darling, you are the only exception. -Feb 14th,2014  I remember I wrote this poem about not being able to take a place in the scoreboard of affection. Well look at me now, in first place with a really sweet guy. - Mar 7th,2014 I am so conflicted with what I want to do with this “relationship”. I know for a fact I’m thinking too hard about it and it’s driving me practically insane. And this is probably I stay away from relationships all together or why I stray away from ties with people in general. I really like him and I am aware of it now, I want to get to know him more and just see if we’re just as compatible as I’d like us to be. I don’t want to push my ideals on him or his on me cause that’s not the type of relationship that I am looking for. I have the utmost respect towards military wives or girlfriends. I can’t even handle bootcamp yet alone the rest of his life… Do I escape while I can or do I stay because I enjoy his company. - Mar 18th,2014

You know what I hate the most? I hate that I brought him into a room I sleep in. I let him linger in a place I spend all of my time in. There isn’t a second that goes by where I am not reminded of his existence. I can’t lay in my bed with peace of mind like I used to be able to. Fuck - Mar 20th.2014  10 more days till Gerik comes back, 10 more days till everything is sorted out. 10 more days til ughhh,, idk . Gosh darn it i miss him -  May 13th,2014 It will seriously be the most fucked up thing if you notice me now. I was hanging around you since my sophomore year of high school and liked you for a while. But now that we’re in college and i have found myself in a obscure relationship you wanna come down and be like “ hey these are my views on relationships and they match yours, wow, you are like totally the type of girl im looking for why didnt i notice this sooner.” I will dick slap you so hard its going to leave an imprint on your face.- May 15th,2014

i am beyond myself, honestly with this whole significant other thing. Feelings really shouldnt be this difficult to figure out. I mean they are MY feelings i should be able to tell what they want. A hug would be nice right now even a pat on the head or something. I feel so uneasy honestly . - Nov 4th,2014 

And he left, and this time between us was honestly nothing more than that. I knew i needed to end things with Gerik, but honestly I did not expect it to hurt this much. I dont need a man in my life who’s idea of a joke would be to say hes going to hit on other girls including my friends and then cal me sensitive after i get upset. I dont need a man in my life who will let me get hit and be okay with it even if he thought we were “playing”. I dont need a man who wont be clear on what he wants to do with me and what we are after a year has passed. I do not need someone who will let me be sad and not really talk to me about it. I do not need someone who will let me be all emotionally scorn day in and day out and tell me to “get over it”. I do like Gerik though. I liked the way hed laugh at my jokes and how he would only be ticklish in one spot. Id like the way hed hug me and made me feel like being in his arms were where i would be the safest. I liked it when he would do all these things and not al all. I hate that he is in the Marines. Im happy i did not give him my virginity and that we did not emotionally connect with one another otherwise  this would have been harder than it is right now. But i swear to God if anyone ever says that I, “never cared” or that “shes a bitch for breaking up with you” fuck you. Cause i would have never stayed for a year and not tried to make things work. I should not have to justify why i was not happy with someone. I liked gerik, but i could not like him more than this. For this relationship was not a healthy one. - Jan 2nd,2015

if you really think that I broke up with him because of you and not out of my own happiness than you are crazy. - Jan 3rd,2015

So here is the ordeal, as most may not care or be concerned about my love life, I am torn between sticking with whats available and waiting for something better. I literally spent a year and some days with a boy who i honestly wasnt sure if he liked me or need me. Or wanted to like someone and needed someone. I ended with someone i missed but knew wasnt good for me. Then I was turned to a wonderful boy who, quicker than most, basically professed and undying admiration  with me and literally wanted everything that i offered. He unfortunately is active military and I have lost total communication with him. I am not sure how he is doing or if his interest in me died. Then i meet this older guy, i actually met him on new years this year but i didnt really think much of him, but apparently he thought something of me. Then he added me on facebook and then we started talking and then we met again in person at a show and then again and my best friends birthday. We, i gues you could say, kinda hooked up but not really. (i am 100% still a virgin…) And i am not sure if i want to advacne with this guy. He is a very nice and respectable guy . he would not do anything that i was not comfortable with. He is kind and considerate. But he honestly is not someone i could see myself with in the far future but then again i just met him. And I still kind of like the boy who i lost contact with. I am single and young I have a lot of choices in life but i dont think i make the right ones. Ughhhhhh relationships with people suck honestly…. help what the hell do i do?! -Mar 8th,2015 

This would just be my freaking luck, He would come back. He would come back when I was literally to give up all hope of him. I pray and hope he remembers me but at the same time i hope that he doesnt approch me and doesnt make my life that much harder. I cant choose and i dont like having options. I dont like having to think about who i would be better off with or who i actually like. I can stand being so indecisive. At the same time I miss him so much… UGggggggHHHH - Apr 25,2015 

I cant wait till novemember, Im going to be planning a trip to california to see my boyfriend. I know im pretty excited for something that is going to happen like 4 months from now. But itd be the only vacation id have fro a while. Ill get to spoil his hass and take him to six flags and I get to do lame couple things. What i really want to do is get thous leather engraved bracelets. That would make me the happiest soul. Haha and I also get to look forward to the Marine Corps Ball, I never got to go to prom so its kinda like the same thing right?? I can not wait, so excited.  - Jul 22,2015 

It kinda terrifies me in a way how much of a minor change I noticed in me. And im talking into terms as far as my relationship goes with Gerik. Its not a bad change its actually pretty good to be honest. I feel a lot more peaceful and its kinda sad that I was not able to reach this level of happiness by myself. The only reason it probably took me so long to like someone was because I felt like I should love myself first. I still admit to not loving myself but im sure a lot of people share that common problem.

    He doesnt let me be sad by myself and I really cant seem to lie to him. I sure dont tell him everything yea, but if her were to ask id say everything. I dont know he makes me happy and probably upsets me the most at the same time. I feel like hes too good to be true cause I’ve never met someone who has been as patient with me as he has been. I may doubt him from time to times cause sometimes i just dont believe someone could actually like me. Cause lets be honest. Im a pretty shitty person inside and out. But he never fails to reassure me in many ways. Hes a wonderful boyfriend and I cant wait to see him in November. Idk I just feel like he made me a lot more forgiving and kinder to myself. I would usually sulk about a lot of things but he makes them minor i dont know how to explain it but hes a great guy. - Aug 8th,2015 

My boyfriend is simple, and a lot of boys and girls are these days. I for one and not one of them. Im like a rubics cube that someone switched the stickers on. He’s the type of person who says things once meaning if he really misses me and wants to explain it he will only tell me once. Thats all he thinks he needs to say. But in my head I feel like if I am not reminded that I am wanted and loved I’ll feel like he doesnt like me anymore. I dont know yes I need affection but I also dont want to be smothered. I dont know. Im just kinda irritated with myself in all honesty. Just because he doest tell me everyday that he still loves me as much as he wants to make me think he does, i start to think he doesnt fancy me anymore. I just feel life I annoy him so much with how needy I am. I just dont date well.  A lot of the times i feel like i like him so much more than he likes me idk. Im a hopeless cause.  - Aug 19th,2015 

I feel like he’s slowly getting tired of me. Maybe I’m getting tired of myself I don’t know. But whatever this feeling is I don’t like it - Aug 22nd,2015 

I am always stuck between wanting Gerik to get enough sleep for work and also wanting to be selfish and talk to him all night. It really sucks that my first relationship is long distance. Im usually pretty level headed till I hang out with friends and end up being a third wheel. I love how excited I get when I see him but I also get really sad when I haven’t had enough of him. Does that make sense? I’m literally counting down the days till the next time I get to see him and they feel like forever. I just want to hug him like really just feel the warmth and the security his arms give me. I’m being really extra tonight cause he had to be awake at 7am and I only got to take to him for about 30 minutes. That sounds like a lot but I’m a needy person who wants his attention. I miss him so much :( - Oct 27th,2015 

Its annoying, well I guess in annoying. Its like I always want to be honest with the way I feel. I just can’t do it all the time. Okay, so when you’re upset or start getting upset there is something making you feel that way. My problem is, if I’m being too sensitive or if I am justified for being upset. At times I catch myself getting upset for things that are either out of my control or out of the other parties control. So I keep it to myself its not their problem. However when it comes to Gerik I feel like I over react all the time and I can’t tell if I’m just a fucking baby or I’m right to be angry. I think I annoy him all the time and that he doesn’t really care about the things I say or do. I don’t know, ugh. Like yesterday night we were talking and usually we pause during conversation cause we don’t really have much to say so he hung up assuming I was asleep I called him back and he was answered kinda sounding pissed off and he was like “what!” And I asked him if that was me or him, that hung up, and he said that it was him and kinda asked why I called him back and groaned about it. So yeah I got upset and I said “I get it you’re tired I’ll hang up now it’s fine, good night. ” he stopped me from hanging up and he was like “what’s wrong, its okay if we still talk.” I said not everything is fine good night. But he insisted it was okay but it kinda got awkward so i just told him to hang up. I don’t know so I kinda just stopped talking to him to collect my thoughts idk. - Nov 2,2015 

Honestly, leaving San Diego was the hardest thing that I did. I have no idea what came over me but I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend , I didn’t want him to get up that morning to get ready for duty. As I was saying goodbye I literally started to cry and I kept on crying an hour into my drive to Vegas. I didn’t let him see my tears cause I’m a G, but they were sure there when he wasn’t looking. He leaves me all the time and I never cried. The two years of if I’ll see him or he’s only here for 2 days then gone for 5 months. I never once cried beside that one time. I love him so, so, much and its kinda scary. He tells me his room still smells like me when he goes in there. Its so funny cause all I did was sleep in his bed. But it makes me sorta happy. I really should have stole one of his shirts. God, I miss him so much. I didn’t know I’m such a baby. Ha. - Nov 17th,2015 

Let me be the first one to tell you how much better I feel as a person now that I am no longer with Gerik. You know, it took me a while to realize that he really wasn’t the one for me. It took me almost 2 years and some odd months. I had to stop making up excuses for him. The excuses that this is his first relationship and that he doesn’t understand me as a person and that he’ll learn with time ya know? Well he never did, no matter if I cried to him or if I talked to him. In the end it’s just be that I’m the crazy one or that it’s my fault. Never once did I remember him taking the blame for anything. Not that it was always his fault but the fact that he’d never own up to it when it was. I felt like I was just used sexually he’d only ever put any effort when he thought we were gonna do “something” later on in the night. I always felt that he only was with me because I was the only thing available to him. He never really took the time to get to know me as a person he knew what everyone else knew the basics. I never felt genuinely loved in my relationship with him. I convinced myself over and over again that I was loved. I’m just really sad that I had to experience the things that I did to just realize that he wasn’t the one I needed to wake up to everyday ya know? I tell everyone that I want to get over what Edwin did to me but I get really scared. I still get scared when someone gets in the same position he did to me. I start to feel dirty. I start to get flash backs and start to get defensive. I know that gerik would never force himself on me or anything but when he got on top of me like that I started to freak out. I yelled and got so defensive and the fact that he didn’t get off right away scared the shit out of me. I don’t know man. It just really felt like he didn’t care for me man. So now I want to talk about Ramon, he’s such a sweet heart. I know that I won’t be dating him anytime soon I’m still recovering but he’s such an amazing person. And let me state that no, I did not leave gerik for Ramon. I left gerik for me and myself only. I am my own person and I can do whatever I feel is right for me. But Ramon actually listens to what I have to say and what I have on my mind and understands me emotionally. And that’s all that I have been looking for my whole life. I hope this isn’t just my distraction and that this is something that is good for me. The only thing I worry about is how we will mix as people. To me he’s really nice and cool but outside of that he might be hard to get along with. Ya know? He’s a thug, and active gang member. So I hope I’m not mixing with the wrong crowd but I will stay true to myself all the way. I like Ramon for Ramon, and will not labels change my opinion. I just know he gets me in ways I wish other people did. Almost like serigo understood me but in a goofy way and that’s my favorite part. Ughhhh so that’s where I am in life right now. I’m just going to concentrate on doing me. And loving myself more. And Ramon is a great distraction from feeling lonely. A real good one. - April 16th,2016 

And now i am with my amazing boyfriend for about 1 year, yeah we hit major bumps in the road but now were just growing <3

[isaacathom]

i mean my issue is SHOULD the docs daughter get a unique design? like.... shes not a character. she exists, in the world, you can fight her in the big city and post game you can go to the little town where she and rhia live with Doc and you can interact with her about the stuff that happened (as she has returned home following the Chaos thing) but like.... shes not a haracter??? unless the ~post game~ involves her in some way, which it could, id be down for her being relevant in the post game, though idk how. esp considering i dunno what the post game would be. like... theres a couple of ideas. Hunting CEO, hunting Rhia, and finding the e4 member that fucked off. because like, the WHOLE reason you can have Rhia/Elliot as an e4 member is because someone left and on short notice they called elliot to fill in (and he could pass that duty to rhia in reconcile ending)

so like. what. docs daughter is only relevant to a Rhia hunt, which also wouldnt work in a reconcile end because Rhia’s in the e4 and shes fine. in an end where she and elliot dont make up, she COULD vanish, but i feel like itd be way more fun to have her whereabout be unknown in that case. besides, where’d she go? probably Unova to stay with the man whose legally her father but bear in mind theres fake paperwork involved. or shes out hunting CEO, which she can easily do anyway (though branching cutscenes in a Hunt CEO route based on whether shes there or not might be fun)

one idea is, Hunt CEO, and the docs daughter is in charge. why? her dear dads request. because now she knows he was in team whatsit (because of his ENTIRE FAMILY shes the only one who didnt know, poor thing) and she wants to get rid of all thats left of it so her dad can live a normal life, or something. she calls you to her home town, and she talks you through it, you go on a couple of lil trips around the region to fight team whatsit members. and you might encounter Rhia doing the same thing. like on one occasion, she saves your hide. her outfits change based on the end (which would be demonstrated in the Reconcile/Split cutscene with Elliot) so you’d have a visual signifier to tell them apart. but her purpose is different, too. sorta. in reconcile, her hunting down Team Whatsit is part of The Deal she’s made, like she’s doing this for the police. in split, shes doing it for herself. fun lil split. shed probably show up when you finally confront CEO at the end of the post game. the docs daughter would be there too. the doc is nowhere to be seen.

maybe CEO even kidnaps the docs daughter. that’d be fun. itd convince the Doc to join her in reforming team whatsit after its shattering at your hands, and it could also convince Rhia to come back. of course, it does the opposite. DOC is MIA for the postgame (in that hes in Extensive Talks with the Police) and Rhia is fucking livid at the daughters kidnapping, no matter what. she’d contact you for the final bit. you find her where you’d normally find the daughter. no matter what ‘end’ you got, shes dressed for a Fucking Fight. like, the outfits would be different to reflect the reconcile/split, but shes out for blood.

oh dude. i also wanna play up the ‘pokemon can hurt ya’ thing here. like, you and rhia approach CEO. you can see the daughter in a cell nearby. Rhia tells you to free her while she deals with CEO. heres the thing - ceo KNOWS rhia is probably better than her in a fight. she also knows you’re better than her in a fight, youve beaten her before. so what she does is she tries to take you BOTH out before you can summon pokemon. uses like, a carnivine to whack yall around. sends Rhia flying off screen to the daughters absolute wails. wraps you up and holds you high. shes not going to let you two ruin her plans. if you wont join her, you will be Removed. then. idk. legendary saves your ass. your bff appears. thatd be fun. idk i just like the idea of rhia, regardless of route, just getting fucking wasted for Drama. not something where Lance goes ‘move’ and is implied to have hyper beamed a guy whose totally fine, like you see a woman standing tall and proud and then shes vanished for like..... 5 minutes and all you can tell of her condition is the only other person in the room wailing while youre focused on the Big Bad.

then you beat Ceo with the power of your Divine Purity Of Heart and you knock her out, so that you can call the police. but they arrive very shortly after, before you can. Rhia, over in a corner, near curled into a ball, sent out a message to them while you fought CEO before she passed out. the Doc is there. you free the daughter and she and him run to Rhia’s side while the police take you aside and thank you while carrying CEO away.

no matter what end she got, you will go home and be called by the docs daughter back to her place. when you arrive, Rhia is there, with a few bandages but otherwise alright, and wearing her regular (per end) outfit. and then some gushy shit.

though i also like the idea of you directly saving her life too.  not just in the ‘oh i stopped CEO and she wouldve killed you if i hadnt’ im talking like ‘took a bullet for you babe’. though maybe Elliot should fill that role. ooh, that makes sense. means regardless of the ending they got (Reconcile/split) he comes to save her. like, rhia gets knocked away and you get a nice visceral thud off screen that sounds pretty brutal. daughter screams. youre frozen in place (or held in place, haha, there you go), and CEO taunts you and the aughter over it. the camera pans over to Rhia struggling to get up, and you see CEO prepare to deal Rhia a (probably) fatal blow. and then, BAM. its elliot. hes here. he’s in the way. he’s on the ground. Rhia screams. daughter screams. CEO screams. you scream too, probably, but less because of elliot and more because the carnivine was so surprised it just dropped you. not far, mind you, like half a metre, but you fall on your ass in surprise. Rhia freaks out immediately, like shes losing her shit, because even if this is split ending where she hates elliot, elliot just ‘took a bullet’ for her, holy shit, holy shit, oh my god, oh fuck, oh fuck, is he ok, oh my fucking god.

and then she makes eye contact with you. you nod. you charge CEO while shes distracted. a pokemon battle ensues. you cant see whats happening while youre battling, of course, because thatd be Ridiculously Unfeasible (beyond how unfeasible this shit is already). you fight CEO. she totters backward and recalls her carnivine (her last pokemon, like itd be programmed in that the pokemon that wrapped you up is the last pokemon she sends out). and shes furious. and she actually reaches for one of the doc’s daughters pokemon, which she’d comandeered when she kidnapped her. and she summons it. its the pokemon that Rhia gave to the daughter. it takes one look around. it fucks up the CEO’s day. just. whap. there she goes. seeya darl. immediate karma. it roars loud, nigh shakes the building.

you run forward and grab the cell key from CEO. you free the daughter. she sprints to Rhia and Elliots side, and you join them.

is elliot ok? probably not. not like, dead, but like, Fucked Up. in fact, itd be cool if this affected split route, because it means he cant perform e4 duties, and rhia’d take charge. meaning theres a change in the e4 in the post game if you do it. fuck. fuck imagine that. only in split ending though. him being out of action in reconcile doesnt affect the e4 because Rhia already took that role on his behalf. but like. hes fucked up. the daugher is a doctor, shes working on him, you grabbed her pokeballs while you grabbed the key and she summons like a chansey and shit.  everyones frantic. theres closure to the rhia/elliot thing, esp for split route, because now rhia has to accept that elliot has changed. on some level. hence she then takes his e4 spot like she does in reconcile. that’d be sweet. dunno how itd really impact a reconcile route though. idk thats dumb.

then the police come and they take elliot and CEO away. they came with some docs because they expected this wouldnt be pretty. maybe DOC is there. he and his daughter/s can have a brief reunion. you all leave, Rhia leaning on doc and daughter.

then the daughter calls you to somewhere else. like, the city pokemon center. you meet her there, and she takes you to the hospital. you get to go further in. elliots there. hes smiling. depending on rhia end, shes either at his side (reconcile) or standing outside the door (split)

theres not much to it after that but i do like the idea of the rhia/elliot thing progressing. involve the daughter as a supporting character. though again, it is weird to continue rhia/elliot past a reconcile route. split route is fun, because it forces rhia to acknowledge she was wrong about him on some level. but with reconcile, she already DID that, when elliot refused to run away in the skyscraper. so theres no point in having the revelation again. hmmmm. maybe it completes the thing for her. because even in reconcile, shes hesitant about elliot, shes not sure if him being ‘good’ was temporary or not. and him taking the shot for her just proves it to her that yea, elliot is a good guy, he did bad shit but hes a good guy, he’s changed, hes a better person. like, no matter what happened in the main story or back story, elliot IS a better person by the end of the game as a whole. at least by Rhia’s metric, though i imagine the player would agree that him fleeing from a person in need to saving that same persons life is a positive change, regardless of the fact that him saving rhia gets his ass so thoroughly whooped hes out of commission for the rest of the game (which is admittedly just post game sandbox but STILL you know)

idk. that stuffs complicated

so i should probably give the daughter a name and a unique design, huh. based on the other doctors (which is a trainer class, no doubt), but with a unique hairstyle and way of presenting herself. maybe she even has some similarities to Rhia. yknow. cause theyre a cute couple no matter what end you get.

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine park woojin as your classmate

project partners to dating partners :’)

(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))

okay so ure a fan of wanna one

who isnt tbh

and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)

u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u

anyways

its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online

like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea

and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance

as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous

also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him

little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute

;))

okay but anyways

u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn

u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times

(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)

but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned

bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned

of course, it’s a partner project

it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random

unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners

so u have no idea who ure paired up with

ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember

everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh

and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad

u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library

even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on

so. all excuses aside u fall asleep

prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk

but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep

ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side

u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird

u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy

so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat

as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before

in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”

u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol

somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice

then ure like WAIT A SECOND

ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real

so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him

eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free

u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS

ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment

anyways

ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up

only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing

u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back

u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u

its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate

and u KNOW its not a date

u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???

but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework

u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out

anyways skip to the next afternoon

u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks

and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest

hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally

as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date

u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud

he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas

he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen

its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck

anyways

neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart

ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field

it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again

ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy

u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions

u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business

still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project

of course, all things must come to an end

so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives

and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again

bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore

after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class

so as ure freaking out over this

he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it

and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?

obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling

when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in

u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two

woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye

u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh

u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out

but anyways

u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done

a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila

its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim

u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed

but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too

so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards

it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day

it still feels like a dream tbh

but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can

most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person

this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life

but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself

as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed

it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call

but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED

and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something

eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good

and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about

he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it

but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”

even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting

u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses

finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???

and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”

and. WHAT.

he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly

“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”

and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???

n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious

but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”

n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy

honestly u both just make each other super happy

when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other

both physically and with ur words

he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same

esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys

u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most

honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch

still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world