#i also don't think i've ever deleted a single post of mine so in the case of the latter i'm still not getting rid of this <3

[pyreofsunflowers]

How to make the Sims 3 look its best in 2022

so simming is a long time pastime of mine, and I've - in my humble opinion - perfected the look of the game without turning it into a yassed out modeling agency. (if you've ever looked for cc you know what I'm talking about) so in this first of probably many posts - here is a complete list of all my graphics mods!

Firstly, though, I should note that I have a very strong pc with a very strong graphics card. Please please please don't overload your computer, and explore options that will work best with your specs. What looks best for me might not look best for you.

Ahem, with that out of the way let's start with my default graphic settings.

This keeps my game looking beautiful while running smoothly (hence the low reflection and edge smoothing)

Now let's get into the mods!

Lighting and Environment

Burnt Waffles' Moonrise Kingdom Lighting - Self explanatory, textures for the skybox, weather overlays, and general lighting. Make sure you pick the water that matches your world!

Simsi45's Reworked and Improved EA Lights - tones down the brightness of some lights, fixes directional lighting for covered lamps, light colors made more consistent, and other such fixes.

dDefinder's Outdoor Lighting Tweaks - removes that nasty blue hue at nighttime, adds more dynamic shadows, adds new weather types and can make nighttime darker!

Neim's Sims Blog's Default replacements for Garden Bushes and Orchard Trees - Replaces the textures for plants like tomato vines, apple trees, and onion plants - creating a much more lush looking garden.

Aminovas' Plant Retextures - softens the bright, garish colors of EA plants to be more appealing. In two parts, and available as non-defaults.

CAS + Create-a-Pet

Kurasoberina's Primer Skin + Buhudain's You are Real - my skin mod and a default replacement pack with upped realism. The skin was designed to be used with You are Real, just a heads up.

I don't use any nudey mods out of personal preference - but I hear good things about Cmar's and Geck.o's work. Here is a link to a bunch of nsfw sims stuff, if that's what your into. I also don't really use sliders outside of the hat slider, a glasses slider and a height and posture slider. this is again out of personal presence, as I am generally making an entire neighborhood's worth of sims at a time and don't have the energy to be nitpicky with sliders on every single sim. That being said, OneEuroMutt complied a really nice list of CAS sliders AND a list of animal sliders if your interested in that.

Bloom's Sexy Feet and Cyo's Cute feet for children - realistic foot retexture, the op is long gone so this is a forum post. May not work unless sim detail is set to high!

Shady's Loney Eyes - subtle eye retextures available as both a contact and a default replacement. I'm currently not using any eyelash retextures - mostly because I haven't found any that work. If anyone has suggestions, let me know!

MaryJane's, Firefox's, AND Agnelid's Hair Replacements - replaces defualt hair with much better looking CC from other creator's - I mix and match between the three. Note that these are far from complete, and I still work with pleanty of EA hair.

I like teh Sims CAS overhaul - less shine, and hides rather than deletes mostly unused items (i always have this weird paranoia that deleting them form CAS will delete them in gameplay...)

One Euro Mutt's Less Shoe Shine - self explanatory, fixes that weird shine that's on so many default shoes.

Simple Life's Lipstick, Blush, Eyeliner, Beards, Eyebrows, and Age Details - Simple Life is my go- to for facial updates, do note however the textures may look funky if your sim detail isn't set to high. (They don't have individual pages for each item, so you'll have to scroll - my apologies)

Ketheira's Freckles and Moles - self explanatory, more realistic face marks.

Eternal 2nd Kira's Insect Wing Replacements for Fairies - replaces the EA textures with high-def insect wings, I just think it looks neat mostly.

Brinwood's HD Dog Coats and Eyes - Also includes more colorable options for dog coats, such as inner ears and individual paws.

Lazy Duchess' cat and dog addons - adds whiskers, primarily, but also edits some face textures and adds more facial markings

Kale and Traelia's HD cat skin and eyes - better meshes for cats.

Dimitri Dane's and Elin Fredriksdotter's EQHD - a FULL retexture and remodel of EA horses with better textures of coats and eyes, and optional stallion junk if that's what your into (I'm not... lol). you will have to download custom saddles, bridles, tack, and poses as EA meshes will be incompatible - but I will probably make a separate post with all my horse CC... lol.

Misc. Textures

Pretty obviously, I use the No Build Sparkles and No Intro mod that everyone gets when they set up there CC folder for the first time. These little details make a big difference!

JustMiha's Clean UI reskin, which is currently still in development (hence the default graphic menu... lol)

Velocity Grass's remove stencil tool to remove any unwanted stencils from cabinets, beds, or toyboxes.

Simsi45's Tileable Items Fix - you know how you go to place a row of bookshelves and there's the lighting gets all messed up on a few of them? yeah this mod fixes that.

Jane Sambroski's Wood Grain re-textures - fixes a lot of the EA woods to have much nicer looking grains, and fixed an issue that caused the grain to become pixelated when zooming.

Plastic Box's Doorway Lighting Fix - fixes lots of the broken lighting with doors and archways, so now all glass doors will cast light through them and all arches of similar size will cast the same amount of light through them

Aminovas' Cow Textures - retextures the cow in the Milkin' It Corral store item to be more realistic. That's it.

And that's it! Yes, I know it's a lot, but I like my game GOREGOUS.

[jacky-rubou]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

thank you @septic-dr-schneep for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

44 public works, 48 if you count anonymous

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

486,495

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Gravity Falls, which is the only one I really write for. Any other fandoms I have are either from previous fandoms or crossovers with Gravity Falls lmao

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. A Hug For Those Who Need It with 205 kudos (first fic to hit 200, woot woot) 2. The Trouble With Sweaters with 190 kudos 3. Sometimes All It Takes Is A Sleepover with 132 kudos 4. He Signs I Love You with 125 kudos 5. In The Dark with 112 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to at least give them a single sentence of gratitude, if not an author's cut of why I did what they liked. Sometimes just a heart if their comment doesn't have much to respond to. or a winky face if I'm being coy lol. I just like to let my readers know that I appreciate the comments and that they're not commenting into a void lol.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

that is so hard because almost all my fics are angsty in some way haha. but i guess there are some with bittersweet endings that aren't as crushing as others, so I'll go with Sacrifices Must Be Made (major gore warning), The Things You Can't Live Without, The Twist of the Knife That is Fate, and Lost in Loving Memory (suicide and self harm warning) all with major character death.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

define 'Happiest'. i got some hopeful endings after soul crushing angst like Not So Different (And We're Dying For It) (suicide attempt warning) and Barely Living (And All It Takes Are Some Pills but idk.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

occasionally. mostly just peeps upset at pacing or my weird choices. i haven't gotten a lot. if i do, i delete it right away usually.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

haha no. (no shame on anyone who does but... that's not my style)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've written a fair bunch. I think the wildest one was a Courage The Cowardly Dog and Undertale fic I abandoned on ffnet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no idea if I have and hopefully i haven't. anyone who notices someone stealing a fic of mine please let me know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

if i have, they haven't asked or told me about it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope and the idea terrifies me. though if helping with ideas counts, i have had someone help me with one of my fics in a more 'major' way but i don't want to talk about them further for personal reasons.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

right now, i like fiddauthor.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

there's a wip i made a few months ago inspired by a small angsty comic about ford's ptsd being triggered by water guns and almost shooting his family with a real gun i saw but i lost interest pretty quick when i didn't know where the hell to go with it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

emotions. i have made many a reader cry and i love that about my writing. and I think I have a good grasp on world-building.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably my bias towards specific characters blinding me to implications. specifically Ford.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it's fine. I don't do it because I fear writing something wrong. Also I don't really write with characters that would know other languages (except for Stan I guess but I don't get very much opportunity to add it where it makes sense haha)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

regrettably, the transphobic wizard franchise mixed with Sonic the Hedgehog for some godforsaken reason. never posted it anywhere though, thank god. just something i handwrote as a kid. for first ones I've actually posted, see the courage the cowardly dog and undertale fic on ffnet i mentioned earlier.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ARRRGGGGHHHH SO HARD TO CHOOOSE!!!

A few I love from myself are my suicide!ford duology (soon to be trilogy, shhhh), my paralysis!ford trilogy, my blind!ford duology, and Dead On Arrival

anyway, tagging @ferretwhomst and @thereareeyesinsidethetrees

[copias-girl]

Hey. I saw you deleted all the excitement/nonsense from the other day, wanted to check in on you. I realized that while I've been on this hellsite for 12 years and seen and experienced a great deal of my own anon drama, I forget how overwhelming & terrible it feels when it first happens to you.

I failed to notice that, in addition to being very new to this site, you're also only 18 (please note that this is not meant to sound condescending - tone is impossible to convey via text). I was a couple years older than that when I joined here, and I carried just as much excitement and energy into everything I posted and reblogged and quickly gained a reputation for myself. From what I've observed from your blog though, mine was decidedly...less fun & positive, so I got a LOT of anonymous messages telling me what they thought of me. I would spend a lot of time thinking about those anons and the terrible things they said to me, constructive or not, objective or not. It didn't matter how many support messages I got from friends or mutuals, or how much we mocked the anons or made light of the situation - I was angry, embarrassed, felt like nothing I did would fix it, and sometimes didn't want to log onto this site anymore, despite it being the only outlet I had to express myself in this way.

It is normal to focus on the small negative in spite of the overwhelming positive - healthy? No. But normal.

My point is: Please do not let this nonsense deter you from being you. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is totally fine. Not everyone is going to like how you post/reblog on your blog. Speaking solely for myself, I generally keep a more contained dashboard I can scroll through quickly at work, so I don't follow your blog, but I don't translate my personal feelings on how you blog into my personal opinion of you as an individual. Everyone blogs differently on this site, which is what keeps it interesting. I'm also not so chronically online to go out of my way to send you a 5-paragraph essay about consent or being hypersexual in a fandom for a gay Satanic band. Instead I'll send you a 8-paragraph essay trying to comfort you and to tell you not to despair, lmao.

I LOVE your enthusiasm about how you express yourself in your posts & reblogs, and it seems there's a shit ton of blogs around you that feel the same way & express themselves the exact same way. Don't lose that spark! Don't let them rain on your parade! [Insert another cliche phrase here]!

Take time if you need a break, but please understand you did nothing wrong. Everything said to you was someone's opinion they wanted to force on you to control how you behave because they themselves are terrified of the world around them and don't understand they cannot control others. Hopefully one day they'll realize how sheltered and, quite frankly, stupid they are. I did.

My advice: if you ever reopen anons and start getting those messages again, delete them and don't engage. Most of the time they're just looking for attention, to rile you up. Classic bullying tactics.

Or print out their messages and use them as firewood. Or toilet paper. Whatever works.

Lastly, you don't have to acknowledge this or publish this message if you don't want to. Genuinely, I just wanted to reach out and make sure you're okay and to attempt to longwindedly impart some advice from my own experiences over the decade.

You do you, dude. Fuck the haters.

Thank you so so much for this incredibly kind and comforting message ♥︎ I really appreciate it more than you could imagine, it even made me cry reading it. I feel like this message is a good closer for this situation, so I’m also going to use it as an opportunity to give a little PSA about how my blog will be operating from now on.

First of all, just thank you again. I’m honestly astonished because every single thing you mentioned is exactly how I feel. The hurt of it all despite getting so much support, the empty feeling of not wanting to go on tumblr anymore despite it being my only outlet. Tumblr was supposed to be my safe space, my escape, my home, and it really sucks because it honestly doesn’t feel like that anymore.

I think the thing that hurts the most is that literally no one reached out to me as a friend in the dms to tell me that I was bothering them. I’m not a mind reader, so if no one says anything then I assume I’m not bothering them. But I do pride myself on always being approachable, I’m ALWAYS open to people messaging me with their concerns.

It’s different when it’s some faceless anon who comes off as slightly passive aggressive. If someone would have just DMed me, I definitely would have put more thought into it and taken their suggestion. Since I haven’t been on tumblr long, I didn’t even know the difference between reblogging with a comment or reblogging with tags until literally just now during this whole situation.

I just feel like I’ve been serving spaghetti every night for dinner. 9 people say they absolutely LOVE it, but then I come to suddenly find out the 10th person doesn’t. But they never said anything all this time, so how was I supposed to know?

I’ve had two people block me who I thought were my friends. One who, during this situation, even said she’d always be there for me. Basically, she informed me that our mutual friend had been upset about my comments and apparently never said anything before this, so I reached out to that friend and apologized. She apparently got triggered by my apology, and they both blocked me. That hurt. A lot. And if I’m being honest I’ve been fighting so hard not to self harm during this time.

I feel like I’ve been treated like a malicious criminal over this, when in reality everyone should know damn well I’ve never done ANYTHING to deliberately make people feel bad.

And don’t worry, I definitely did not take the comment about my age to be condescending. In fact, I wish more people would have taken it into account. And the fact that I’ve only been on tumblr for 6 months, so I don’t really know much about it.

I have a life outside tumblr. I’m a student, and I’ve had to be a full-time caretaker to sick relatives who have now unfortunately passed away. I’m grieving. My father abandoned me and my mother, so I’ve had to take over doing all the things that he used to do.

I come on tumblr, I scream about everyone’s favourite satanic antipopes, I post some fics, and then I close the app and go about my life. I don’t research the history of tumblr and what’s deemed acceptable by certain groups of people. I’m a human. I’m a real teenage girl, with feelings. I’m able to be hurt, and triggered, and everything else. I know I’ve created a personality for myself on here, and I think people often forget that I’m a real girl.

I wish I could say I’m okay, but right now that spark definitely feels dampened into a sad little ember. Since this has happened, I’ve almost stopped eating entirely, and when I do eat, I immediately throw it right back up. My Mom took me out to eat and I threw up in public. This has honestly had my stomach in knots.

Today was the first day I actually didn’t feel nauseous. So hopefully time will heal this wound. I wouldn’t wish this on ANYONE, but I’m glad to see you got through it and made it out ok. I’m hoping for the same outcome for myself too.

Now for the PSA portion of this message (everyone please read):

Will I stop being unhinged? Hell no. But I will be moving any horny comments into the tags, as suggested by the people who had complaints. The absolute last thing I want to do is alienate people and make people uncomfortable. (I still have questions about reblogging with comments tho, for example, if I say something not horny should I still put that in the tags or is it ok to comment that?)

Secondly, my best friend suggested that I should just start taking my unhinged comments and making them into posts of their own, so I’ll probably do that too. I think I might tag them with some cheesy tag, probably a pun on nsfw (not sugar for work?) so that if you’d like to blacklist that tag, you can, and then your dash will be safe for scrolling at work or wherever. And you can just click ‘view post’ if you want to view it.

So, rest assured, the horny party will never stop! But since I’ll be putting my stuff in the tags, you probably won’t see it circulating as much as reblogged comments, so if you want to see me being unhinged, just come to my page and scroll through!

Also, I’ve gotten so many other supportive messages and I want to thank everyone for sending them in. I won’t be answering them, because I don’t want a lot of stuff about this situation on my blog. And this is going to be the last time I talk about this situation on my blog. But the supportive messages really do mean a lot to me, so thank you all ♥︎

I feel malaise, so I might still be absent for a little while, but I’ll try to get back in the saddle as soon as I can. I haven’t been in the best mindset to write, but I’m really going to try because posting fics and running this account genuinely make me happy.

Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope to see you all again very soon

Love always,

Sugar <3

[the-one-who-lambs]

About me!!

I'm Hannah (she/they). This is my Cult of the Lamb side blog; my main is @onethirdofimpossible and I also go by that username on AO3. I'm in my mid twenties and I'm from the US. If you're here, it's probably because you've read my fics, but I've written many fanfics for Cult of the Lamb. My works are typically focused on narilamb or the Bishop family, but I go all over the place: whether you like to read multichaps or oneshots, rated G or E, shippy or not, angst or fluff... there's probably something I've written that you'll enjoy! I'm best known as the author of The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God (the old version that I wrote back in 2022, and the new-and-improved "director's cut" version that is my current wip!) and The Care and Keeping of Baby Eldritch Gods.

A few other hobbies I have besides writing are cooking/baking, making plushies, digital art, and playing flute!

Despite being able to write pretty consistently, I'm a Ph.D. student in environmental science. If I haven't posted a fic update in a while, I'm probably preparing for a conference or getting into a fistfight with hydrostatic equilibrium or something.

Links

All my written works on AO3

Twitch, a recent endeavor of mine where I stream games and occasional art/writing!!

Fic playlist for The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God, with all songs in chronological order of what they refer to in the fic c:

I have a ko-fi but paypal is giving me shit so if you REALLY wanna b nice I have a Throne. I don't expect anything ever but if u get me something I'd die for you. and write more stuff while happier.

FAQ below the cut!

How long have you been writing?

I've been writing fanfiction since I was in sixth grade! I wrote what was basically a self-insert pokemon soulsilver fanfic, entirely by hand. It took up four full composition notebooks and then some. However, I've only been posting my writing publicly since 2016. Even after that, I had a nasty habit of making a sideblog for any fandoms I got really into, then deleting my blog and sometimes orphaning my works when I lost interest. I've since learned my lesson, though!

How long have you been drawing?

Ha, uh. I got a digital drawing tablet in May 2023, and started really drawing as a hobby for about... three months, and then the school year started again. Between then and June 2024 I drew like one or two things. So I've actually been practicing for only a few months. Constructive criticism on my art is welcome, especially as I learn!

May I send a fic/art request?

If my bio says they're open, you may, I think they're really fun! Depending on what does or doesn't inspire me, I won't take every single request, but I love requests because they give me excuses to try new things.

Do you write smut?

I've written a couple E-rated fics! My alternate pseud for fics of that caliber is remainderofreality. I don't write it very often, though.

What made you decide to start writing? What makes you decide to keep writing?

1. I had a creative bug I couldn't not itch. 2. Having creative hobbies and sticking to them has dramatically improved my life. I'm happier, I have so many friends it's connected me with, I get to see other people be inspired by things I make (?!), it keeps my mind active and playful, etc etc.

Do you have any suggestions for people looking to start writing?

Before you start worrying about the quality of your writing, the most important advice I can give you is to keep writing and have fun with it. Don't be afraid of being "cringe" or not getting the engagement numbers you're hoping for (in fact, it's better to not have any expectations about that at all!). Not everything you write is going to cater to everyone, and that's okay! But writing (especially fanfiction) is first and foremost for fun and even though it's difficult and you will struggle, it should be rewarding and fun. I've answered a few asks about writing advice and I can't find them all but here are the ones I can: 1 2 3 4

When do you expect to update your fic next?

Lmao god if I know but I'm working on my wips nearly every single day so I promise I haven't forgotten it. I'm a busy person! I'm a PhD student, teaching assistant, research assistant, and executive dysfunction haver.

Do you take commissions?

I don't, and I have no plans to as of now. I'm actually personally against writing fanfic for pay (copyright and ethical reasons), but for art I'm simply not experienced enough yet to be comfortable with that. However, I have TONS of friends who do take commissions so if you're looking for someone I can give you recs

May I draw fanart for you based on your fics?

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I EXPLODE WITH JOY if you do please share it with me please please please. I will also likely ask for your permission to print it out and frame it (not a hyperbole, btw).

[icedmetaltea]

Talking about stuff

Really contemplating leaving tumblr for another site in the near future... does anyone know a good substitute? Like, on one hand I love this site, but on the other hand man. I've been getting way less notes lately. I can't help but feel like it's my fault, that either I've been posting too much and am annoying people or my art/writing has gotten worse. Same issue with ao3 so leaning on the latter possibility.

I know it's selfish, but it's not like I'm the only one who feels this way. Lots of artists and writers have been complaining about the discrepancy between likes/reblogs. No matter how many followers I've gotten over the years, the success of any piece of art/writing will depend on who reblogs it and when, and how many reblogs it gets in general. If it doesn't get enough it quickly gets swept under the rug like it never existed.

A single piece of art or writing can equate to many hours of work on my part, and if it's barely seen it's like... why bother.

I know it's selfish, I know there are still people who reblog and comment and everything, and truly I appreciate it, more than anyone could ever know.

But I also just feel like an annoying failure who never stops talking and that people would prefer if I was gone. So they can look forward to seeing stuff from the real artists, the real writers, the people who actually have talent.

I want to be someone people see and are able to feel happier as a result... right now I just feel like a burden to not only everyone in my life (hence why I've been distracting myself by drowning myself in art lately) but also you guys.

I know I'm not just a source of entertainment, I know I shouldn't care so damned much about what others think, and again I know I sound really fucking selfish to worry about all this, but it's been eating at me so much lately.

So I see a couple options.

Take time away and let the water run clear so to speak then abuse the fuck out of the queue so I stop mass reblogging (a nasty habit of mine, surely annoying to many)

Move to a different site, if there are any where I won't feel like such a speck. Idk. Maybe I'll feel like that everywhere.

I guess I could rectify that side blog idea I had a while back so asks, headcanons, doodles, non-fnaf posts and whatnot, just keep this up for main art/writing. Kinda leaning toward that rn. Less spam, less annoyance.

Just disappear for good. Delete it all. It's been a thought in the back of my head for a long time anyway. Start new somewhere else. Or just draw/write for myself. I also don't want to make any rash choices atm cause I know the past 3 months have been hell and I'm not thinking clearly. I've been depressed as fuck and I may regret choices I make right now. But what if I don't? Maybe I'll be better for it idk

[scarfacemarston]

don't know if you have been asked this before, and if you have then pls forgive me! (also english is not my first language so I may use incorrect grammar, so I do apologise for that in advance as well) but I wanted to know what is your opinion on the popular "theory" (?) or maybe even a "canon thingy" believed by most of the people in the fandom, that Arthur and Abigail were together during the time John left or that they had romantic feelings for eachother?, or that Arthur had some intense romantic feelings for Abigail but she did not reciprocate? some even say that Arthur's 'greet' lines such as "sometimes, i think about the good old days" to Abigail are about the time they were together, however i feel confused about all this because I doubt that Abigail would just switch to Arthur as soon as John disappeared and then snapback to being in love with John as soon as he came back, it just doesn't make sense to me considering her character, however, I could be wrong. So I wanted to know your opinion about this and what you believed happened, if anything at all did in John's disappearance or even if Arthur and Abigail were ever involved romantically at any point of time in the past, because you are one of the writers on here that truly gets Abigail in my personal opinion.

Thank you so much for the sweet message! Your English is better than mine. Trust me. Arthur and Abigail were never involved. Full stop. People keep spreading this idea and I can see why, but it's just not accurate. There were the lightest of rumors that Abigail would be in a love triangle, but I heard that was scrapped immediately. It would have ruined John, Arthur and Abigail's characters and would have given the fandom yet ANOTHER reason to hate Abigail. I'm thankful for it because I think adding a love triangle there would be lazy. You don't need to "brothers" to be fighting over a woman to insert some drama in the story. People constantly bring up Arthur's journal entry about marriage, but again, there is ZERO proof he meant that romantically. He is partially doing it for Abigail because he thinks it's the right and proper thing to do. It's what he wasn't able to do for Eliza and Isaac. He feels sorry for Jack and wants to give him a better life that is more secure. Now, he does get bitter towards Abigail at times when it comes to Jack such as him sarcastically asking if it's his turn to be nursemaid again. That points to him potentially feeling used which is another issue in itself. Arthur also antagonizes Abigail in low honor mode. He talks only about John. Constantly. He says a lot of nasty comments about how he thinks she's desperate for John and needs to get over herself. I have his low honor comments. They reveal a completely different side to their relationship and it's all based on JOHN. Low honor Arthur also reaches for low hanging fruit like making fun of her days as a sex worker. If he is able to go that low, then he would have easily made comments about their past. Easily. I mean, he goes as low as making fun of Hosea for dying. At that point, it would be very easy to bring something like that up, but he doesn't. I have every single audio file including deleted ones. I've posted every Abigail conversation including deleted ones. There is not a SINGLE thing indicating they actually had a relationship or even romantic interest. As for as the old days go. Abigail overall is NOT happy talking about it. She will occasionally say something neutral or something along the lines of "Yep." but I have audio of her saying "I don't want to talk about the old days." It's also not in Abigail's character to get into such a thing. She would know more than anyone that getting tangled up in a mess like that would be a bad idea. She worked in brothels, she would have seen romantic love triangles and other drama. I don't think she ever loved Arthur or thought of him as anything more than a friend. At all. If Arthur fell for her, then that's possible. It's possible that he hoped he could have something like a family and do the right thing that John couldn't. However, I think that is very unlikely because he was ALWAYS hung up on Mary. I don't know when he quit seeing her because there are characters that know her that technically shouldn't. But any relationship is just out of the question to me. I hate that they left those hints in because it all turns sexist to Abigail and the idea of her "trapping" people which the fandom loves to use as an excuse to hate her. TLDR: We have nothing more than a flimsy rumor that is rarely even talked about as "proof" of their involvement. There is nothing in the audio files including the deleted ones I have that indicate this either. Arthur is hung up on Mary, Abigail is hung up on John. The journal entry was about making Abigail a proper woman and Jack not a bastard. Low Honor Arthur has most of the answers.

[darkaviarymc]

So why tf are you living with a zionist? And why tf did you get married to one in the first place?

I've gotten anons asking invasive questions about my relationship with Troy and why I have yet to end it, and I've deleted each one. I don't know if you're the same anon, but I'm guessing you follow me because my latest #aviisleaving post has no notes and was less than an hour old when I received this ask.

But.

Due to recent events in this fandom, abuse has become a spotlight topic. I don't know if I would call my marriage abusive or not. But whether or not it is, my situation and my reasons for staying in it for the time being is similar to what abusive victims face. There are many reasons not to leave, to bide your time before leaving, and to not be able to leave at the time or even at all, and I think it's an important discussion to have.

I'll start by explaining why I'm with him in the first place. We used to be closer ideologically. He wasn't always this far right and (this is where I make a confession that idk if I'm actually ready to make, but here we go) I wasn't always this far left. Seven years does a lot to change people, for better or worse. I was a left-leaning centerist, he was a right-leaning centerist, and we met in the middle to either compromise or peacefully agree to disagree.

We were both nerdy autistic weirdos with the same taste in music, same sense of humor, and enough ideologically in common to make peace. He got along well with my daughter and was quick to let me know that, if we ever got married, he'd consider her his kid as if she was his own.

I'm hyper-romantic. I see romance basically everywhere I look, and I fall in love hard and fast. He wasn't used to having a woman (my egg hadn't cracked yet, we'll get to that) who wasn't an absolute bitch be interested in him, so he fell harder than he ever had. We also both hated our situation at home, and I wouldn't pretend that wasn't a factor. We rushed the relationship and got married before we'd been together a year.

Everything changed for me when I realized I was queer.

I found the community I'd been denying for my whole life, and I learned a lot. He was an ally then. A flawed one, but he was willing to try. He was supportive of me when I came out, first as bisexual and then as nonbinary.

But everything changed for him when the wreck happened. He was driving with our mutual best friend in the front passenger seat when he lost control on black ice and slid into oncoming traffic. Our friend died at the scene, and Troy's injuries left him permanently disabled. He's since regained his independence, but he'll always struggle with his left arm.

We both took solace in our faith (I'd still consider myself a Christian, feel how you feel about that, I've heard it all) but he got lost in Christian Reddit, then Christian TikTok. Christian TikTok led to Evangelical TikTok, which led to transphobic, homophobic, MAGA, and zionist TikTok.

He ate that shit up. He fucking chugged that kool-aid. It gave him something besides himself to be angry at.

Grief opened my mind and closed his. It softened my heart and hardened his.

It just went downhill from there.

And now I can't live with this. I know he can't either, and the only reason he hasn't initiated a separation is because 1) there's no biblical grounds for divorce because I haven't cheated on him, and 2) he doesn't think a fat, autistic, disabled nerd in his 30s with a small dick and $30,000 in medical debt could ever find a godly wife. His words, not mine.

So if I want what's best for myself, my daughter, and yes, even for Troy, I need to be the one to leave.

So why haven't I yet?

First and foremost, money. We live in a society blah blah blah. Our society isn't friendly single mothers, queer people, or disabled people, and I'm about to be all three. I need to be 100% certain that I can support not only myself, but a high support needs autistic teen daughter who will likely never be able to live independently.

We currently only have one working vehicle, and aren't in a financial place to remedy that. I will need my own form of transportation if I'm going to be on my own.

All of my preparations (housing, transportation, moving logistics, etc) will have to be enacted quickly and perfectly. Surgical precision packing, moving, and stocking up on groceries so I don't have to leave the house for a while within 24 hours. Why? Because his family can't have any forewarning. I would not be safe. Currently, I'm not safe emotionally, but if I mess up even one step off the plan, if I'm not perfect in my exit strategy, I won't be safe physically, and neither will my daughter. I won't elaborate further on that.

Not only do I have to leave perfectly, but I have to be 150% positive months in advance that I can keep perfect. Because he has friends and family in places that could be dangerous for me, not the least of which is CPS. I fully expect to have them at my door by the end of the first month. I can't give them cause to take my daughter, even if it's the smallest, stupidest thing. Especially since they'll already have a small, stupid thing. Namely, my queerness and my disability.

Because I'm under no impression whatsoever that Troy won't out me to every single person who I can't safely be out to the instant he gets the chance. I will have no more help from (and possibly no contact with) my family. I will be completely alone. My support system will be gone forever. I have to be emotionally, mentally, and financially ready for that.

And I am none of those things right now.

And until I am, I have to do whatever I can to keep myself safe enough to bide my time for the right opportunity.

[fitzrove]

Writer Asks

Tagged by @yallemagne (thank you<3) ages and ages ago... Inspired to answer because I just published a fic and feel good about it hjejejfjj

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Undisclosed amount xD I've put a bunch on anon, especially from fandoms I'm not active in anymore (lbr, mostly Endeavour). Publically, it's 26 rn.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

212040!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Elisabeth, hopefully in the future Tanz der Vampire (I've been thinking about it for like five years), in the past Endeavour (TV).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

They're all Endeavour because those are older and in a (slightly) bigger fandom... Unfortunately I think they're not the best ones I've written, a lot of them were when I was 18 (no offense to 18 year olds) and had just started writing fanfic ajajjjd. Which is why the top 5 are on anon except for one LOL. I really do think kudos doesn't tend to accumulate "correctly" xD People like familiar tropes and time of posting also affects it, there are many fics of mine I consider "underrated"

My top five kudosed Elisabeth fics are: black as the earth (shortened title), Flights of Angels (todolf longfic), Dominion, Midnight Man & Starwalk. tbh deserved...

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I try to respond to every single one of them so people will hopefully comment in the future too, especially if they're kind, funny or thought-provoking!!! However, I delete them if I don't like them or they're weird, boundary-crossing or TMI ahdjfjjf (has happened a handful of times - the joys of writing explicit stuff lol. PSA: do not tell fic authors about your sexual activities in the comments, i do not consent...)

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

I often do bittersweet, or "sweet but also has Implications" >:] Oh and I guess there's a lot of them where Rudolf dies at the end... I think the actual angstiest might be No Forevers (Endeavour fic) even though nobody dies in that one. Though I ruined it by writing a sequel to it, after the showrunner wrote one of the characters back into the show after like 10 years xD In my defense, this wasn't my idea!!!

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

Beams of Morning (Endeavour). I retconned one of my own DIY bittersweet endings whoops... 🤣🤣😭 It's sappy, even, but maybe that's allowed. For elisabeth it's Flights of Angels because the happiest happy endings are ones that feel deserved.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No - I've gotten hate for my headcanons/meta and my video essays though (never to my face ;D) which can be fic adjacent. I guess it's because there's a better tagging system with fic, like, people won't be exposed to stuff they don't want to see as readily as with tumblr and youtube etc. And people also know how to leave other ppl alone!! Ajdjjfjf

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. The unpleasantly sexy kind 👀

10. Do you write crossovers?

Noooo, I don't really read them either. The kinds of crossovers I like are the ones that are crossovers "in name only"; ie. setting or tropes lifted from one work, characters/cast from another. Wildly incongruent characters showing up in each other's universes and interacting etc doesn't fit into my suspension of disbelief most of the time 😭

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Luckily no!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I once helped someone translate theirs into English, which was cool. Oh, and recently I've been asked for permission to translate at least one of my fics - I hope it happens because it's always an honor!! >:]

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've collaborated on series, but I haven't co-written stuff on a deeper level. I think I'm too much of a control freak to get into it ajsdjjf, I can do stuff inspired by other people and am happy if my stuff inspires other people, but if I need to agree on plot/characterisation with someone consistently I don't think it'd work out, since no two people have identical takes and preferences with stories and characters.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

For around 2.5 years it's been todolf, it captures a lot of stuff I've liked in fiction for a longer time already >:D I can't really say whether it will be the Ship of a Lifetime for me... I mean it did make me move countries (as one reason of a few) but if someone asked me in the summer of 2016 I would've probably said [checks ao3 reading history] um. h*milton x j*fferson... so like. IT CHANGES A LOT OK ajajsjdj

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

I don't want to doom any of my current wips to the graveyard!!!!!! I am having worries about the fate of my todolf swan lake modern ballet au fic though. The original draft outline is complete but it doesn't really fit my character interpretations for tod or rudolf anymore, it's from january 2022... Idk maybe I can one day rework it somehow with different characterisations ajsjdjf but yeah mostly it's interesting concepts haphazardly tied together but no coherent plot

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagination/coming up with ideas, metaphors, descriptions (usually), grammar and syntax, writing crown prince rudolf really well (XDD), rhythm/pacing (usually), the way it Sounds (my brain sometimes fixates on phonetics randomly because after all, English is not my first language, and sometimes there'll be like, a really pleasing/satisfying combination of sounds in smth I think to write and I think I'm good at picking up on that, like how it flows and sounds. Idk if those preferences are universal though or if it's just me writing what I think sounds pleasing)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing varied characters, writing varied speech patterns/"character voice" also in narration, vocabulary.... I am but a humble English as a second technically third language speaker,,,, (i'm doing an english language grad school degree rn lol so i think i'm no worse than natives, not humble abt this actually, but i'm on the level of like. a not so well-read native speaker. Because most actual fiction literature I've read in my life has been in Finnish, in English I've just read academic literature, fanfic and like 10 books max! I need to read more and become a better writer ahhdhhdhf)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

No... Dialogue is a big no from me, it often feels cringe ngl ajsjdjdj. My personal philosophy is "if you need a translator's note for people to understand what's going on, don't put it in" 😅 A lot of the time different languages are also used in fic in nonsensical ways where it will look ok to a lot of people but bother the hell out of native speakers/ppl who speak the language. This is smth that can technically be done well but it's usually not aksldlldd. I think pet names and individual words can be fine but it needs to be done in moderation... I also obsess a lot over research, like, the nuances of the word need to actually mean what the author thinks it means :'D

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First published for Endeavour, first wrote for H*rry P*tter... (never-to-be-published fan comics and little stories as a young kid, like 8 years old).

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Right now it's vers l'onde souterraine... ;) I think I'm constantly improving as a writer and hopefully every fic will be better than the last!!

[kaiserouo]

Hi.

This is a rambling post because i'm sick. Somehow turned into a post about my history about art. Kinda spent too much time on this that i don't really wanna delete this now. Oh well.

More below.

Yeah okay. You might think why i'm rambling in an art blog. It's because english isn't my native language and i kinda think differently with english. I've complained enough on plurk with chinese today so, uh, i'm here now lol.

I am so sick right now i don't even know if it's food poisoning or normal cough / fever. Anyway, i stared at a blank canvas in csp for >4 hours and cannot even do anything because of all the migraines i have.

The pain kinda took away the little inspiration and creativity i had, even though i have like a full idea list with detailed and concrete comic plot attached to almost every single item on the list.

So i'm gonna post the second hound i've ever drawn, probably because i have just lost the capability to make proper decisions. Also being sick and cannot physically do anything made my mind flew to who knows where.

2022/02/12

I mean, it kinda sucks. I know i also didn't achieve anything important now but oh man.

You know, it's kinda a miracle why i'm here doing art stuff almost every single day, and why this piece is in my phone in the first place. If you've seen my stuff a lot (for whatever reason) you might already know i...don't like myself very much. Not until recently when i'm reading a book did i realize i'm a perfectionist type of person. Like, i don't like failure, i don't like being...not able to do stuff. When i try something i think i can achieve and realize that i actually just...don't have the ability to do the stuff to my standards, i'd very likely just quit.

I was not capable of drawing anything. You might be thinking "oh no art is not about being capable or making masterpiece first try it's for fun you can do whatever." I kinda got it, like i understand the point this sentence is trying to convey, but my brain just...doesn't work like that. I think perfectionist is just an inherent bad habit of mine. Especially that i've been lurking on social media watching actual masterpiece level of fanart (at least to me) since i was like, 12. My taste of art and what i perceive as "good" did not match my ability to draw, and very likely never will.

It's basically a death sentence, because if you can't really achieve something to your standards then why do you even try? I mean, objectively speaking it's very illogical to say that and you can probably deduce a lot of contradictions from that, maybe like "masters were once a noob too they weren't born with all the skills they have" or something like that. But that's why i said i'm a perfectionist and it's my inherent bad habit. My brain just defaults to...whatever illogical thinking i said. Until that piece of Bloodhound i've already tried to draw many characters years before, but those attempts just...never last.

But that time, when i tried to draw Bloodhound, i recalled an advice that you should put all your work on the internet. Just, literally all of them, no matter how bad it was. It kinda makes sense to me actually. To keep the progress for future inspections; to give myself a pressure to draw something every day; to put what i was thinking into words, knowing that i will forget all the struggle i had once i became good enough (if that ever happens).

So i made a new plurk account. Nice platform, only taiwanese use that, very little people, even less will see my art months into the cause so that's nice for an introvert like me. But the pressure i gave myself to post everyday is very real, and i despise my art every single day. Old habits die hard, even for now.

Everything kinda flows natually after i got into the habit of posting things everyday. I must stress that this habit itself is a miracle. I'm an introvert that can't really talk with strangers, let alone shouting out loud (i.e., posting) on the internet. Anyway, this changed things. I started to actually draw, like, almost every day. There's never anything i did in my life that i actually made into a habit, or, uh, just generally do everyday without much obstacles in my heart. I usually just play games after school and watch youtube and daydream about all kinds of plot about the game, that'd be all i do.

I can get through a lot of details about the progress thanks to the post i was making, but to put it simply: i think i'm trash at making art, and my art is also trash, so i tried to learn things to make it…less trash. Most art post i've done i wrote about what i tried and what i've learned. Not actual research and book reading, just a bit of observation i made to make my hound look better.

At roughly 2023/2 i saw a post about learning art in 100 days. Ignoring all the thoughts thinking i was trash and achieved way less in a year, i actually started borrowing books about art. Spent like 2 months on stonehouse's anatomy, also a bit on perspective. I'm kinda a nerd so i'm completely fine with the biology and perspective related math (like most properties are 10 seconds easy proof after all). But the memorizing part of anatomy and the intuition part of perspective i'm still trying to get familiar with. Well that all comes down to practice and practice and more practice, which i do way less than i should to be honest.

At 2023/7 i made this account. That time i just got into destiny 2. Fun fact, that banner of cayde + bloodhound + omen was made in ~2023/6 and i didn't even know which games cayde and omen are from until i actually look it up.

And…yeah. This post kinda turns into my history of drawing but this is it. Still learning, still making my daydreams into art. i think the only thing that changed this year is that i kinda enjoy my own art now. I still think some of them are bad, especially as the art gets older, but it's not completely unbearable now. Like, i often go back to some old posts and think "oh yeah i drew this idea, still hilarious to me lol." Crazy, huh?

Okay i'm tired. I think this should have some kind of ending or conclusion...

Yeah, so why it's a miracle i'm here? I started to make art, i kinda made it a habit, i posted about my art even if i'm an introvert irl, i look down upon my own art because i'm a perfectionist, i still make art despite of that, i post enough stuff on the internet before and i plucked up my courage to post on english platforms (i.e., tumblr), and i'm still making art till this day.

I didn't meant it as some kind of art learning advice because you shouldn't even listen to me in that case. It's just me mesmerized by how i even ended up here. Tend to do that when i'm sick on bed doing nothing.

C'est la vie, am i right?

[astorytotellyourfriends]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @magicalrocketships, thank u pal! 💛

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

252 😅😅

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3,190,822 😅😅😅😅

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i tend to stick to one fandom at a time, so for now i'm writing hellcheer for stranger things, but in the past i've written for: 1d, julie and the phantoms, shadowhunters, 911, and young royals! (some of those were just one-offs tho)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

can't help falling in love with you (1d - narry)

keep me up all night (jatp - peterpatter)

tell me how to feel about you now (1d - louis/harry)

if we don't leave this town (we might never make it out) (stranger things - hellcheer)

damn bitch are you okay (julie and the phantoms - multi/prompt collection)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! i try to respond to every comment i get, tho sometimes i don't reply to ones that are like replies to my previous comments bc that gets to be too much. i also moderate all my comments so i tend to delete the ones that are rude (which truthfully i do not get a lot of, which is nice!)

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh without a doubt that's always have & i always will. i set out to write a very sad fic and that's exactly what i did.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'd say this could apply to pretty much every other one of my fics bc i do prefer a happy ending since isn't that what we're mostly all here for??? happy endings for our blorbos???

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i have in the past. it's part of the reason why i started moderating comments. i simply don't understand why someone would take time out of their day to read something when they usually know they aren't going to like it before they've even started, and then take MORE time to write a nasty comment to someone who shared their work FOR FREE. go be miserable somewhere else, thank you!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes! all kinds, i suppose. i'm not really sure what that second question means.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i don't think AUs count as crossovers so ... no? i once had an idea for a 1d/teen wolf crossover a million years ago but that never really made it out of my head much less onto ao3. once upon a time i also had an idea for a jatp/hellcheer crossover ... that could maybe still happen.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes. someone once reposted several jatp fics of mine to fucking wattpad (derogatory) and only deleted them after i commented on every. single. one. calling them out for it. wattpad did fucking nothing.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i've had a couple people ask over the years.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! so far i think the only one that's ever been posted is the only thing i want (when one drop hits my mouth) with my dear friend @cunnninghams, but many fics have been brainstormed over the years with grand plans of one day being written! (the omfd s2 we dreamed up lives on in our hearts if not our memories @magicalrocketships)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

how DARE u ask me this i refuse to answer on principle.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

ughhhh i don't want to say i'll never finish it but we're edging towards a year since i last updated i roll 'til i change my luck and i just have zero will to go back to it. but! i really don't want to delete it either so we'll just have to wait and see :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

i take very great pride in my dialogue. my sister read one of my works recently and complimented my dialogue and i was all 🥰🥰🥰 over it. i've also had multiple people compliment my ability to write scenes well enough that they can see/hear them in their heads and i absolutely love that because that's exactly how i write!! i have a very vivid imagination and it takes a lot of effort to try and get it right on the page.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

BREVITY.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

english is bad enough i don't need to be stupid in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

once upon a time i wrote self-insert lotr rpf fic that will never, ever see the light of day (shut up i was like eleven) BUT the first fic i actually posted for other people to read (which has subsequently been deleted from internet existence) was a bandom fic specifically about simple plan lmfao

20. Favorite fic you've written?

oh, that's so hard. if i'm going by fandom, for 1d it's these four walls and me bc that fic has a piece of my soul forever. for jatp, it's a tie between coping and stubborn, selfish, easily jealous (the former because it helped soothe the sting of the show getting cancelled, and the latter because i love my stupid fucked up boys who can't get their shit together to say i love you). and for stranger things, it's if we don't leave this town (we might never make it out) because i had the most wonderful time writing it and i'm so glad so many people felt so deeply connected to the story.

wow that was a lot so i'm passing along this enormous task to @cyraclove, @gorgeousgreymatter-x, @medusasfinalgirl, and @staceymcgillicuddy

[ollieofthebeholder]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks @fridayyy-13th for the tag!

How many works do you have on Ao3? 64!

What's your total Ao3 word count? Holy...! Uh, 1,700,611. (I should've guessed, I've got some ultra-long fics on there, but Jesus Christ on a cracker.)

What fandoms do you write for? These days, mostly The Magnus Archives. I've also written for Star Trek (primarily the AOS/Kelvin films), the MCU/Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Cut & Run, and RQG. I've got a couple of very, very old Sherlock fics, a couple PJO fics from some ship week challenges I took part in back when the Heroes of Olympus books were still coming out, a couple WTNV fics, a few Star Wars fics that never made it to AO3, and three one-offs.

What are your top five fics by kudos? leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) - 1,758 kudos Had He Known It - 777 kudos Whiskey Lullaby - 395 kudos It Was Just My Imagination Telling Lies - 378 kudos Hurry Up and Slow Me Down - 349 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Every single one! It's half the fun to me.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ooh...that's a toughie, actually, but I'm going to go with Where the Road Waits to be Taken because it's the only one where the ending focuses on the people left behind.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Also a toughie! But I'm going to go with Love Will Find Out the Way.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore. I've been around long enough that I definitely used to, but I write for saner fandoms now.

.Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not these days. I'm asexual and, while I'm personally sex-averse, my tolerance for it in fiction kind of goes in cycles. I think the last time I wrote an explicit sex scene was in 2016 or 2017.

.Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Heh...I do, on occasion. Most recently the WTNV/TMA crossover (the full extent of which hasn't been published yet), which isn't that crazy. I think the craziest one I wrote was the Sherlock/Star Trek crossover that was also (sigh) a HP AU...which I have deleted, so sorrynotsorry.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know, but I don't exactly go looking.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not as far as I know.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Uh...technically? My brother had an idea for a fic, but he wasn't old enough to join any fanfic websites at the time (we were probably the only two kids who never lied about our age on the internet to join websites), so he dictated it to me, I fleshed it out and posted it under my username.

What's your all time favorite ship? I love so many, but I have to say, the only ship I love that I genuinely can call an OTP in that I cannot fathom them in a relationship with anyone else (even adding anyone else to the equation) is Cecilos. JonMartin is a close second, but, well, I can see (and frequently enjoy) them also having other people in their relationships. Cecil and Carlos? Nuh-uh.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ooh. There are...a couple. But I have a WIP sitting in my Tumblr drafts that was a sequel to Hurry Up and Slow Me Down that I would very much like to finish someday...I just, yeah.

What are your writing strengths? Angst and heartbreak. I've got a gift for descriptions, and I'm really good at conveying emotion in text. And I think I have a knack for putting together a tasty sentence.

What are your writing weaknesses? I do tend to get hung up on irrelevant details, and I frequently think myself into a corner. I also think I tend to obsess sometimes about things being perfect...and if I'm being honest, a big weakness of mine (not just in my writing, but in general) is that I often feel like it's something I need to apologize for, which is not helpful.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Oh, I love doing that! I try to put a translation in hover text, and also in a footnote for benefit of screen readers, but I also try not to burden the actual text with translations. It's one of those "trust the reader to know what you're trying to say, and if they can't figure it out from context, you have failed as a writer" things to me. (This may have something to do with the fact that I used to write Star Trek fanfic, and conlangs are a thing.)

First fandom you wrote for? If you want to get technical, Power Rangers; I used to tell myself stories about the Power Rangers to put myself to sleep at night when I was a little kid, and once I wrote one down and read it out loud for Show and Tell. (The opening line was "One night, when Kimberly and Trini were sleeping, they were stolen," which should tell you everything you need to know about it. In my defense, I was seven.) I didn't know that's what it was at the time, though. If you're talking fandoms that I wrote for knowing it was a fandom and published on the internet...well, I grew up in the '90s and turned thirteen in the early '00s, so it probably shouldn't be that big of a surprise that it was HP.

Favorite fic you've written? It's like asking me to pick a favorite child. I am deeply in love with to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest) even if the next chapter is currently frustrating me a bit, because I am always deeply in love with my current project, because I love the way it showcases how I've grown as an author. That being said, I think my favorite fic that is currently complete might actually be Tomorrow When the World Is Free.

Tagging (absolutely no pressure) @blasphemous-lies-and-deceit, @amberastra, @magnetarmadda, @astudyinfic, @dyscalculated, and anyone else who wants to give this a go!

[comfort-questing]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @therosefrontier :) thanks!

--

How many works do you have on AO3?

21, but one's a collection of fe3h drabbles and small fics totalling 13.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

98,576 apparently! ...seems about right.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

uh. Genshin... Critrole... Fire Emblem Three Houses... also Fate Zero, finally, triumphantly, eventually. I've written bits of stuff here and there for other ones but most of it isn't published.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

night and death and the rain are given, 729, because Kaeya whump brings out the fans?? also I had a good update schedule for it, haha, which probably helped.

flame to dark, 393, my first Genshin fic. I guess Diluc whump is also popular. I remember being so chuffed that people liked it.

something which nobody may keep. 219, fain's dear angst art made into a Whumptober 2022 prompt... wait, that was just last year?

the sea, the storm, the stars, 217, right after. writing about Kazuha is hard because thinking about him hurts a little, but I do love this story so.

a gently welcoming darkestness, 186, which surprises me that it made the top 5 since that was where my regular update schedule went to die, and didn't take off as quickly. but I'm glad folk ended up liking it.

all Genshin, haha. and 4/5 ragbros.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! although if someone comments on each chapter I may not respond to every single one. but I like to respond, because I like to be responded to on mine when I can be, and because it does make me so happy for them to comment.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh boy. that's a toss-up between the last of my fe3h drabbles that I put up, "not glory nor goodness," and just about any of my fate zero pieces, but probably on these sands I built my fortresses. the horror of having to kill Felix at Arianhrod, because not killing him means other students die, vs. Saber's shame and self-hatred and having to kill one of her old associates too. maybe I should say the fe3h one because I don't like re-reading it but I will the other one.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I... was going to say I usually did happy endings but that's not quite true. I write ambiguous, nervous, and hopeful-in-the-midst-of-confusion endings. I think the only uncomplicated happy endings I've done were the fluff fics for a couple exchanges. specially driftwood and light for Critrole, which is all about getting rescued!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, thankfully, though I did get someone once commenting that my snarky/dark humor author's notes on some whump fic ruined the mood. it stung a bit, but I kept doing it, and also deleted the comment.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

heh... I do not... I tend to think what characters do in the bedroom is their own business, although now and again I admit some amorphous spicy headcanon occurs to me. usually in regards to someone else's suggestion or a fic that I scroll past that I think brazenly mischaracterizes their sex lives...

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

usually don't, but I do have a funky little dialogue piece between RWBY characters and Morgaine and Vanye from the Morgaine Chronicles that I never posted. This is because I think I may be the only person in the universe who is familiar with both fandoms. if there are any others I really want to meet them though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

hope not! ...though there was one that got published shortly after the author put kudos on one of mine, and it was a very similar concept and similar imagery at several points. but they did a totally different thing with it and went in a different direction! so even if it was borrowed it was Fair Use and I'm rather proud of them. :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but I'd love to someday! I am not good at plots. I admire when folk are good at plots. I want to be part of their plots and fill in all the corners with conversations and angst and character stuff.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'm not really a shipper of anything particularly, but... I suppose the only ship tag I actually ever used is for Zen and Shirayuki from snow white with the red hair? and I do love their relationship, haha.

oh! that reminds me. I think my favorite ships are Hak/Yona from Yona of the Dawn and also Royai from FMA just like my tagger said.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

...of original works? oh so many. of fanfic? uh... I want to write a Fate/Stay Night AU where Saber saves Ilya, and I did start it. what's likelier to happen there is I write it as a bunch of short stories and they may just end up being bittersweet with a side of catharsis?

I want to write an Inazuma Rebellion AU for Genshin but that's more of a "literally never started" than any kind of "in progress."

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think it's fair to say description? people mention it a lot, and I like to write it. I love words. words are amazing. the things that people can do with words are amazing. I like to make words do cool things too.

I like writing dialogue a lot too, when I can.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plots. pacing, sometimes. fight scenes, or used to be, but I think I'm getting better at them.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I never have, but if it came up I could try? though I certainly wouldn't trust google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

in little bits and snipppets... the Chronicles of Narnia when I was a small kid, and then Warriors Cats like the rest of us (heh), and I think Redwall? I made stories up about the sci-fi series Dad read to us when I was very very young, but I don't think I'd call them writing per se.

and then I did a lot of mediocre heartfelt Lord of the Rings fic when I was 11-12ish, which I didn't post although my friend encouraged me to. that was the first fandom where I wrote anything more than, like, half a page. in fact, it was very many pages. I want to say there were like 4 separate OCs and concepts I was writing, and they never intersected, they were all just different twists I had.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

that's a tough one. I... actually really love my longer fe3h fic, the bright and the broken - which completely elided all ships in a very shippy fandom with an alacrity that was not my intent but my outcome. the conv I wrote there, about helping people being like dropping pebbles in a well, and never knowing which one is going to be the one that lifts them high enough to reach the light... I think about that still and I'm not sure where I got it but I think it's true. also encapsulates what I love the most about Three Houses. loving people is how you change the course of the narrative... you can't save everyone all the time but you can save almost everyone most of the time if you do what you can??

I think my fate/zero trilogy is the most uh... emotionally cathartic of them for me though. I hope it finds the approximately 2.9 people in the universe besides me that it makes sense to, wherever they are.

--

tagging @notfromcold, @erinaceina, @isnt-it-pretty, anyone else who wants to bc I'm sure I'm forgetting folk

[nonbinaryezrabridger]

thanks to @judgeverse for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

177 total! I'm still astonished at that amount tbh

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

480,869

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Sg1, sga, and sgu mainly. Star trek but not new trek. Star wars rebels. Mad max, mainly fury road. Pacific rim occasionally. The thing 1982. I've written a ton more fandoms than that but I'm not active in those routinely

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

My highest is an old x men fic at 167 kudos. Only one of my top five is a fandom I'm still in, and that's stargate atlantis at 166.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

As much as possible. Sometimes I'm simply too drained by real life to answer every comment, but I try to answer all of them if I can. I feel it's important to let my readers know the comments really do impact me, they're really important to keep me motivated and I want other fans to know that. There's been times a single comment convinced me to finish a fic, or write a whole new concept.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

definitely this she ra fic, posted while the show was coming out, where scorpia tries to reach out to catra, her attempt to help is rejected, and she lets herself be willingly consumed by the world ending magic. Most of my angst always has a happy ending, so this one is perhaps my only 100% angsty fic

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably this the thing 1982 fic, where I take characters from a horror movie where they all die horribly, and instead have them live a happy gay domestic life with no alien monster.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

one fic from a fandom I shall not name got so much hate I deleted it for my own health. Otherwise, I got one angry comment on a she ra fic once

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

no, i've dabbled in it once or twice, but don't like it much. I doubt i'd ever write anything more explicit than suggestive content or sex based jokes

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote a fic with the get down characters in the mad max universe, but without any crossover of mad max characters. It's just the get down characters in the universe. that's definitely not my most popular fic, but I enjoyed writing it nonetheless

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope, but the idea scares me. fortunately I like weird things no one else does, so I think the chances of someone stealing my content is low

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes! it was a great experience, would totally do it again as long as I was close with the other person cowriting

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

My top relationships are both from the get down, my first being thizzee. However, my top ship for a fandom that isn't dead is teal'c/daniel/sam from stargate sg1

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

pretty much all my unfinished get down fanfics. I love them all and want to finish them, but it's painful to think about the show with the cancellation and how it canonically ended, and also I don't know if anyone would even read them, so very low priority at this point

16. What are your writing strengths?

internal monologue of characters

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

anything sexy or overly romantic. Kissing is really hard for me

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm not comfortable with messing it up. I deleted a very popular fic of mine because I wasn't happy with the writing of the asl in it. I'm still working on editing it to be better and still hope to post it and finish it this time. However, I'd rather not write something at all than portray it in a harmful way. If it's something I can research and do well, I'll do that, but I feel some things are just not for me to write about and that's fine

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First posted was the lord of the rings movies. First ever written was probably teen titans. Funnily enough, neither of those are still posted and I've never written for those fandoms since. Of my actual posted work, my first fandom was dc's legends of tomorrow, which I no longer write for either, but I left the fics up

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I couldn't choose just one.

So, of my longest fics:

This sga fic, with team sheppard as a queerplatonic quartet raising torren together. They get pulled into an alternate universe and have to save the world (again)

Of my shortest fics:

This space sweepers fic about bub's trans identity. Ends happily with her successful transition

tagging @campgender, if you'd like to! Feel free to ignore if not

[inactiveblog261838]

hi guys!

this will be the last post i make on this account, so i'm going to pin it once it's posted. it's mostly just kind of me rambling, so feel free to skip to the last paragraph if you're interested in following me on my new account. it will be linked at the end :3

honestly, i feel conflicted as i write this, but i think it's necessary. i have had this blog since i was in highschool. i've posted my writing here for at least 6 years!! over those years, i've gained what i consider to be a pretty big following– more than i've had on any other social media, at least, lol. anyways, i've been writing fanfiction since i was a kid, and for years i was embarrassed by it. i didn't think anything i wrote was worthy of being read, and i didn't think that anyone would like my writing. thanks to this website, i was proved to be very wrong. i've garnered over 5k notes on a fic that i wrote when i was 17– that's so many people!! even now, it's mindblowing to me how many people not only read the things i write, but actually enjoy them. i have received so much love and praise over the years, and i am eternally grateful to every single person who's ever liked, reblogged, or complimented my writing.

as i've had this blog for so long, my interests and my values have changed quite a bit since i was 16. when i first started gaining traction here, i didn't really think too hard about the nuances of being a creator. all i cared about was people liking the things i worked so hard on. it didn't matter who they were, as long as they liked me. over the last few years, i've become less and less active here as i've spent time navigating adulthood, as well as getting into new sources and trying to separate myself from certain older sources that i once wrote for. this blog has been with me through so many different phases of my life, and leaving it behind feels a bit disheartening, but i have taken a lot of time to think about who i am, who i post for, what i want to write about and what i want out of this hobby of mine– and so, i've come to the decision to start anew.

i will not be deleting this blog for several reasons. number one being my own nostalgic purposes. i would like to someday be able to look back and see how i've grown as a writer. i've poured a lot of effort, blood, sweat and tears into everything i've posted here. even the stuff that makes me cringe now. also, my fics still get a pretty surprising amount of attention, even the old ones, and though i'm not happy with some of them now that i look back on it, i can see that others enjoy them, and i don't want them to be lost forever (because i for one do NOT keep track of all the documents on my phone, so there's no option to repost them, lmao).

anyways, i'm saying all this to say THANK YOU to every single individual who has spent time reading my work, every person who's supported me, and every follower. i am endlessly grateful to you all for giving me the courage to keep posting my writing and sharing my thoughts with the world.

moving forward, you can find me at the blog linked below. it simply would take too much time to cleanse this blog of people and fandoms i don't want to further associate with, and honestly, a fresh start sounds rejuvenating. i hope everyone has a happy holiday season, and that the new year will bring you everything you could ask for. thanks for your support.

❤️

[manthrochap-blog]

well well well. look who finally figured out what email he used for his old blog....

so, hi. the last post on this blog was from december 2016, so... i’d expect most of my followers are inactive and the few people i follow who are still active probably unfollowed ages ago, unless they never cleared out their accounts... but i thought i’d make a little post here as a sort of update and finally offer a means of contact

so. i’m freshly 23 years old now (jesus CHRIST). i’m not using this blog anymore, so i won’t be updating my bio/about/whatever to reflect that, but i’ll note i exclusively use he/him now. while homestuck is still constantly in my periphery (more literal than that sentence should be, there’s a dave strider vinyl figure in a bin almost within eyesight of my desk chair...) i haven’t really engaged with it in... years... other than a recent look at its unfinished japanese translation, seeing as i started learning the language a few years ago and got curious. i still stan aradia hardcore, btw, nothing in life will Ever change that

as you can probably (hopefully) predict from the fact that i was 17 when i last used this blog (and 13-16 when i used it actively) and i am now 23, this blog, uh... would not be a great reference point for determining what kind of person i am now. i won’t write it off as completely detached from my present identity, and i’m not saying this because there’s some sort of “dirt” you could dig up from looking through my posts (there... really isn’t, just a whole lot of cringe), i’d just like to make it clear that judging the present me by whatever the hell was wrong with me when i was a teenager would leave you with a lot of inaccuracies about me. being a teenager sucks and you’ve got way more things wrong with you mentally than any other stage of your life and i’m happy to report many of those things wrong with me have resolved themselves with time, but also, the cringe. the cringe. my god the cringe, please for the love of god know that while i am still cringe i am not as bad as i once was

anyways, what i am trying to communicate is that while the person who ran this blog and myself may technically inhabit the same body, we’re not quite the same person; and yet, this is still my body, my face, my words, my thoughts, all contained here, even if i no longer understand those thoughts and feelings and words, no longer feel like the face depicted is my face. going through and making every single one of my old posts unrebloggable would be not only tedious but a ridiculous, gargantuan task, considering my post count is just short of 50,000 and no matter how many of those are reblogs that i wouldn’t need to alter, it took long enough just deleting a bunch of old selfies that i truly don’t think it would be worth it

thus, my request is this: my art is all fair game, but any (old) personal posts or selfies i'd like left alone. no likes, no reblogs, just let them be, please. while i've left a good portion of the latter up for posterity, i'd prefer you not even look for them. likewise, i've gone through and deleted all instances of my deadname; do not try to seek it out. or i may smite you in real life

other than all of that, i'm willfully leaving this blog up as an archive. please don't abuse that, please respect my requests regarding what i am and am not okay with being interacted with, and please keep a healthy barrier in your mind between who i was as a teenager and my new, adult self, because even i don't know what i was going on about back then

with all of that finally out of the way, if you're looking to contact me for whatever reason, you'll find my new blog in my next (and probably final, ever, for this blog) reblog. that post is a plea for a friend of mine who i miss and have completely lost contact with to come and talk with me again, if they'd like, so i'm hoping that posting this here and giving them a way of contacting me might help if they ever come back and look at this blog, which was the impetus for me hunting down my own log-in info to begin with, though not the sole reason (i really did want to purge this fucking thing of its evils even if only a little i've been meaning to do that for ages)

i don't intend to ever deactivate that blog just as i won't be deactivating this one, but as a failsafe, you can also email nisutitja @ gmail, because i don't really wanna just... put my discord where everyone can see it. that is not my main email, but i do own that address. might be a little late on the response but it should be reliable enough