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gerbithats · 4 years

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A long sims 4 rant

Starting this I can already predict it’s gonna be a big one so if you stick with me, thank you and I’ll try and add pictures to make things feel easier 😆

I was thinking about it and I mean really thinking about these community surveys we’ve been getting and how they speak volumes on the way the game is handled but also also how we position ourselves as a community. I noticed alot more game changers are starting to get pretty vocal about their thoughts since the first community survey came out and that’s refreshing to say the least, but it shows a pattern that we all present: give us what is missing no matter how. We want beaches. We want cars. We want more stairs. We want bunkbeds. Etc.

So these things are probably somehow rushed into production to please the community and then, when we finally get it, it’s like we finally realize that what this game truly lacks is gameplay and not more items.

I invite you to come and think about the packs and the stuff we got throughout these 6 years with me.

🏢 Chapter 1: The apartment issue

Yes we got apartment buildings with city living, but sometimes it doesn’t even feel like it’s a game feature because it’s L I T E R A L L Y related to living in a city, so it’s not a real feature. We have no possible way to play with apartments and condos outside of san myshuno because for the first time ever we can’t build or own apartments. This was such a missed opportunity of giving us new lot treatments like condos and even rentable properties. I mean, just think about how those 2 features could allow so much new gameplay and stories with it (I can literally imagine being a landlord, having to go fix renters stuff in my their places and doing social events as condo meetings).

The neighbors in that type of lot could also help solve somehow what so many people mention as “boring lot gameplay”. Let’s be real. hardly something ever happens with so little npcs and only the walk by sims (You have to literally run after them to make things happen sometimes and it shouldn’t be like that). But if sims were to live in the same condo or building as yours, sharing common living spaces that’s a whole other thing. Which brings me to the fact that even in the city, where apartments exist, there’s no common area other than the halls. Imagine if we could build laundries, rooftops, basements, patios with pools and all that sort of stuff.

That sort of detaling and really getting deep into the pack’s features is even show in elevators: we can’t use them ourselves (for building) and they’re not even animated, your sim is just teleported (even the modded ones have animations and that’s just awkward).

🌊 Chapter 2: Swimming in shallow waters

“We want a beach”, we said. So they gave us a beach, and a beach only. I’ve never seen so many people call a pack “shallow” as I’ve seen it happen to Island Living and tbh I do agree with them ‘cause... there’s really not much to do in this pack. For the first time ever swimming was restricted to this pack which is already a big let down by itself, but then features like deep diving were added for no reason and of course, as a rabbit whole, not actually contributing with much to do. So how could it be better?

My answer is pretty obvious: resorts. It is a livable world, but that don’t mean your sims can’t take a vacation from work and just stay there if that’s the gameplay you want to go with and resorts match perfectly with that, not to mention it would have great integration with packs like spa day. It also means a new lot type and lot system, that wouldn’t be much new if the city living building condos and sublocating them as I mentioned would’ve already been implemented, but now with the feature of renting it yourself too. Resorts could also have their own event schedules, integrated with the seasons calendar: cava parties every wednesday, yoga lessons on thursdays, etc. And the best thing would be: if you own one, you can make your own events and traditions. imagine just how fun that would be. A feature like this would also mean it’s already done for other packs coming later on, maybe a colder destination where you can ski and build iglus or even another cultural based pack like jungle adventure.

Other obvious resolution would be better mermaids. Make it harder to become one, being only able to get the kelp from a mermaid themselves. Make it less anticlimactic, having an animation of them turning before they just walk in water with a tail all of the sudden, maybe just some scales in their legs. Give them more unique features and powers like vampires and spellcasters have, such as easily persuading people (sort of like the mind control feature aliens have) and maybe even a secret lot, like a grotto where all the mermaids are. Give them curses with the points system to go with it, some mermaids are actually sirens amirite

🥶 Chapter 3: Seasons change, gameplay stays the same

Activities truly based on the season that are specific to that moment create urgency and different moments. Something I can think of is integrating a pack we already have: spooky stuff. It does feel lackluster ‘cause it’s missing opportunities, but imagine going trick or treating but actually going, loading different houses and gathering it while a meter like the active jobs one guided you. Forming groups with friends to do it or maybe for tpeing trees and bushes if you’re on the rebel teen side and destroying their porch jack’o lanterns. It could even be randomly generated, like the game would send you to 3 different houses to do it (that would bring lots of replayability value ‘cause you could end up in houses with neighbors that love you and will give you candy no problem, but maybe also neighbors with family feuds that won’t answer their door or make it harder for you to accomplish the event objectives), maybe one of those could even be a abandoned one that’s haunted or something like that.

The implementing of a better wants and fears system is very essential for this pack. Yes your sims get overheated and a popup message tells you they need some water or lighter clothes, but it’d be so good if they’d actually want to go to the beach, swim in the ocean, take a vacation from work and go to a resort. Heatwaves that would make your sim act weird, not strangerville level of weird, but maybe not obeying your commands.

Blizzards so strong that work and school would get canceled and you actually don’t have the option to leave your home lot anymore until it passes would not only add a different element to the gameplay, but also add value to the weather controler machine.

🥺 Final chapter: The general “more stuff to do” and “more things happening” factor

The game offers all these beautiful secret worlds and yet when you finally get to them there’s not much to do other than searching for rocks and frogs and doing some fishing. I miss going to a community lot hidden somewhere and finding an eremite, goddamn bigfoot, some crazy npc or even just an actual community lot with something to do and people doing stuff in it. Unique community lots would also be a way to make towns more lively and captivating like they did so well with realm of magic and the casters alley section of the world. Maybe forgotten hollow has this abandoned haunted house where people claim they’ve seen the grim reaper walking around. Maybe sixam has a alien station where they clone human sims. Maybe sulani has this beautiful sunken ship beach where a club of people that dress up as pirated meet. Maybe Del Sol Valley has a movie theater where you can watch premieres. Maybe Oasis Springs mine hides actual gold that you can collect and get rich outta nowhere. That kind of stuff.

I can’t stress this enough, but NPCs are so important to shake things up. It was so good to have a pack like realm of magic where the we would have to go to the three sages in order to progress. Having unique sims like this or npcs that change the way your story is going like burglars, firefighters, cops, social bunny, bonehilda and even a fortune teller is so important to keep things impredictable and interesting.

Age groups really need more specific restricted gameplay for better feel of progression. Many people say sims 4 is a young adult simulator and well... there’s not much to show that differs from that. Toddlers are as interesting as hamsters, locked in an object waiting for you to feed, clean and give them attention. Teens really should feel more like a transiction period, and the wants and fears system would really help out with that. I miss being able to participate in more elements that would mark a sims life even if they’re cheesy as heck, like having a prom, graduating, having a midlife crises.

In conclusion

First of all: if you got to this point thank you and I’d really wanna know what you think about all of this.

Some people may find even ridiculous for someone to go about a rant this big on a game and to that I have to say I agree lol I can’t help it tho, honestly, the sims has always been the game I’m most passionate about and it helped me express myself and my creativity so much since I was a kid. I really do care about this game and this franchise.

The point I want to make with this is: perhaps we shouldn’t ask for more and more different stuff, but actually put some effort into showing things we already like in the game and how they can be improved to make it more interesting. At the end of the day I still want spiral staircases, ladders, paintable ceiling, werewolves and all that but does it really matter if they get added to the game following the same patterns as the things pointed in here? Also we really are getting to a point where only a few things are missing as far as cas/build/buy go and I believe it’s time for us, as a community, to give gameplay as much importance as all these things we wanted so bad that got implemented. I probaby forgot to say something here and I didn’t even mention the infamous hamster pack, but anyway, I hope the point got across.

I try really hard to believe that the gurus are here for us and that most of all we, as a community, have a very strong voice, all we need to do is make it clearer and stronger about the things we really wish for this game.

#i'm never doing rants again #honestly this is my last one #from now one i'll only express my thoughts through memes and reblogs #ressurrection spell was a missed opportunity for zombies to be back in realm of magic btw #i don't even know how to tag this #the sims #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4

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silverselfshippingchaos · 4 years

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[Dorky-self-shipper] Free Pass to talk about any s/i you want? 👀

Thank you so much for this @dorky-self-shipper!!! Made me smile a LOT!!!

The FF7 world has been living in my head rent free ever since I played Remake for the first time. So I’m gonna talk about my FF7 s/i. She’s... really something. She’s not completely fleshed out yet, but I still think she’s pretty cool.

Let’s gooooooooo!

My self insert for the ff7 world is a Turk working under Shinra Inc. Shinra are the villains for the most part, and the Turks do some pretty morally-gray stuff for them. She looks pretty much identical to me/my fe3h s/i. Tan skin, red glasses, black hair, and the signature Turks suit. She doesn’t have anything too special going on with her suit. Just a white shirt along with a black tie, a black coat, and black pants paired with some black boots. She occasionally leaves the buttons on her blazer open. She’s also pretty short (I’m around 5’2 😭). Tseng and Rude both stand at around 6 feet, so she always looks pretty small next to them.

Since she’s a Turk, she sometimes has to fight her way out of sticky situations. Her main weapon of choice is the same as my fe3h s/i! She’s a spellcaster!

She’s a Materia specialist and fights using different kinds of orbs of Materia, and is always sure to keep many on her so she’s always prepared. She mainly keeps elemental types of Materia with her, but she’s sure to keep some healing ones along with a Time Materia. She’s not against a few summons either. She has a little belt of them that she wears because carrying around that many fragile glass-like orbs without it + her clumsiness? ...Yikes. (Also she can, will, and does do the fe3h Trickster thing where she shoots magic out of fingerguns. One of my favorite classes in the game for sure. Felix in a suit with fingerguns is one of the best things I’ve ever seen.)

She doesn’t use a physical weapon very often whatsoever, but when she does, it’s usually a handgun. Swords are cool and she likes them. She’s not too skilled with then and isn’t keen on the sight of injury, but she has an admiration. They’re usually too bulky for her to keep on her suit, though, so she usually just has her Materia along with a gun. Please don’t be surprised if she whips out a sword every now and then though. She sometimes pairs her Materia with her gun as well because ✨elemental bullets✨

One of my headcanons (but wait.. if it’s my s/i... wouldn’t that be canon...? anyways-) is that Materia can be embedded in tattoo ink which is then applied to the body to infuse the person with the power of that Materia very slightly. Now, it can’t be anything major because in the Turks side game, one of the characters has shards of Materia in her arm, and it slowly eats away at her life force. So let’s, uh, avoid that. I like to think that maybe (I’m still thinking about this one) Ash has some very small hand-tattoos embedded with either Cure or Fire Materia. The Cure one helps her both cure very small wounds on herself and/or on others when she doesn’t have her full Cure orb on her. As for the Fire one, there’s a lot of handy situations in which just a little bit of fire can be useful, so that’s that. Again, this is just a thought, but I think it’s pretty goddamn cool! Also would explain why I’m so tired all the time lmao!

Also Materia is pretty and I love it. The colors are interesting too.

Adding onto that, she also really likes jewelry. Materia infused jewelry was something I thought of, but I’m not quite sure about that? She already has a wide assortment on her, so I think she would just settle for normal jewelry. Just like many of the other Turks, she’s always wearing small earrings. However, on missions where she can’t have all her gear on her, she will have Materia infused jewelry. Also, sometimes it’s just cute so. It depends on the day. Also! Since part of the uniform is gloves (she prefers fingerless), she doesn’t really get a chance to wear rings, unfortunately. When she’s not wearing gloves, though, she usually has some rings on.

Is part of the Turks initiation process a trip to Claire’s?

I like to think that she’s pretty friendly and that she gets along well with her team. She’s either very serious or a total goofball depending on the situation. Expect many bad puns and snarky comments. She tries her best to fulfil her duties as a Turk, but they can sometimes be difficult for her since her emotions can sometimes cloud her judgement. She’s a very emotional person. The Sector 7 Job screws her up quite a bit. I’m not sure if she’s a Turk then or not, but just knowing that her team was responsible for that many deaths puts a bitter taste in her mouth.

When combat can be avoided, she will take that route. She’s no pacifist, she would just prefer to do things with her words than with her flames. However, there are exceptions to this (*coughs in Don Corneo* She will gladly rip that man apart.) When she’s not on the active field during missions, she’ll stay back with Tseng and go through information, helping him guide the team. Her and Tseng are pretty close, despite being so different.

Being completely honest, one of her favorite parts of her position is having access to so much information. She enjoys reading a lot, along with gaming.

As for relationships with her team, they’re all pretty strong.

Her and Tseng have some differing values, but they get along fairly well. She’s very cautious about her wording around him at first. He’s a scary guy, and him being leader doesn’t help. He can be very cold sometimes, but he’s a good listener. She relaxes around him eventually, and he becomes someone who she goes to very often for support. I like to think that she goes to him after the Sector 7 situation to talk about her feelings about it. I also think that he may have been the one who recruited her into the team in the first place? She owes a lot to him, and looks up to him a lot. Learning about how caring he was when he was younger only increases her admiration. She sometimes doesn’t agree with some of his more twisted logic, but she also understands that he has duties to fulfil and a team to manage. He’s trying his best to comfort them.

Her and Reno are bros. Reno brings out her more wild side, and those two together are the very definition of chaotic. They’re always cracking jokes with each other and for them, being together is a blast. He was one of the first who reached out to her back when she was still new on the team, and when Rude isn’t available, he talks to her a lot. He appreciates how easy she is to talk to. They share the same braincell, and their jokes are very stupid. Their team missions are pretty fun. I also like to think that they play video games together in their free time! I love their friendship SO much!!! Ash definitely has her smarter moments, and is very knowledgeable on a lot of things, but together, they share a singular braincell. An important thing to add about them is that sometimes she can be a bit of a mom-friend towards him when they’re not fooling around? She knows when enough is enough and when to rein him in. They both have their more serious moments, and their understanding of each other definitely helps on more serious missions. In a nutshell, they’re just two bros and I love them a lot. They understand each other. Also, their fighting styles compliment each other quite a bit, so that’s fun.

Ash and Rude is a friendship I really appreciate. Rude is not a man of many words, and Ash is very talkative. However, you quickly learn that Rude is very caring and prefers to show his affection in smaller gestures and actions. It takes a while for Rude to become more open with her, but it happens. He always listens to her rambles and although he might not say much, he remembers every single detail. She reminds him a bit of Reno, and he’s been dealing with a Reno for the past 7-some years. Their relationship is very wholesome, and Ash always encourages him to voice his thoughts. Also, he gives very good hugs when she needs them. She’s very sensitive and can be very affected by some of the stuff she sees while on duty, and he’s very protective of her. Her attitude and rambles confuse Rude sometimes, but he tries to be a good friend. Also they can kick ass together big time. In conclusion, Rude and Ash = big soft hours.

Okay, let’s talk about Ash and Elena. Elena is a character that I personally adore so much because it took me a while to like her. My initial reaction to playing the original ff7 and seeing her was simply, “Oh, great. Yes, make the only female Turk super clumsy and shit at her job- And give her no personality outside of that and crushing on Tseng. I mean, mood, and same, but really?” But then I researched the Turks game. (I have yet to read the novels btw)

And I realized that me and Elena are similar in so many ways other than being very clumsy and simping for Tseng (he’s hot, okay- then again, I simp for all the Turks. they are VERY fine.) We have very similar personalities, constantly want to punch things, and also have similar relationships with being the youngest sibling. I really understand Elena and I love her. You look into her character and realize that she’s super strong and dependable, smart and gorgeous. She’s amazing.

Ash and Elena, like I said, are pretty similar in terms of personality. So they really understand each other and get along very well!! They’re very close friends, and kinda live on the same mental wi-fi. They click very well on first meeting, and that click stays for very long time and only gets stronger as time passes. Ash feels as though she can discuss anything with her because Elena gets it. Also, missions in which they’re paired up together are always fun. They’re both pretty smart, but have a tendency to let their emotions cloud (heh, cloud-) their judgment. But when they’re together, they can keep each other check and in turn, kick ass together. They also have a mutual hatred for Don Corneo. I hate that man. Fighting together is pretty fun since Ash can stay back and spam her spells while Elena punches the crap out of their target. In conclusion, these two are very close and they’re besties. They have a mutual understanding of each other in a lot of different fields.

Thank you SO much for the opportunity to spill my thoughts about this, my friend!! Was a very very fun time! The Turks are always living in my head, so I’m glad to speak about them anytime. This definitely helped me organize my thoughts a bit and helped sorta motivate me to write about Ash and her Turk friends?? I can feel my half-written Felix fics in my drafts glaring at me, but regardless, I’m very excited. They have a super fun dynamic. Thanks for listening!

#ahhhh thank you for sending this in!!#it was a blast :)#answered #dorky-self-shipper #me x the boys

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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THE ANATOMY OF VC BE A STARTUP

If in the next couple years. Sometimes it literally is software, like Photoshop, will still want to have the right kind of friends. Where the work of PR firms.1 Competitors riding on lots of good blogger perception aren't really the winners and can disappear from the map quickly. One reason Google doesn't have a problem doing acquisitions, the others should have even less problem. Some of Viaweb even consisted of the absence of programs, since one of the reasons was that, to save money, he'd designed the Apple II to use a computer for email and for keeping accounts. They want to know what is a momentous one. How do you find them? Suppose it's 1998. The big media companies shouldn't worry that people will post their copyrighted material on YouTube. Once someone is good at it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.

Gone with the Wind plus Roots. This is extremely risky, and takes months even if you succeed.2 At most software companies, especially at first. Their answers were remarkably similar. I use constantly?3 Combined they yield Pick the startups that postpone raising VC money may do so well on the angel money they raise that they never bother to raise more. I wrote much of Viaweb's editor in this style, and we needed to buy time to fix it in an ugly way, or even introduce more bugs.4

Historically investors thought it was important for a founder to be an online store builder, but we may change our minds if it looks promising, turn into a company at a pre-money valuation is $1.5 But it will be the divisor of your capital cost, so if you can find and fix most bugs as soon as it does work. Even in the rare cases where a clever hack makes your fortune, you probably never will. You may not believe it, but regardless it's certainly constraining.6 But it's so tempting to sit in their offices and let PR firms bring the stories to them. Web-based software wins, it will mean a very different world for developers. I think we're just beginning to see its democratizing effects. But this is old news to Lisp programmers. If 98% of the time.7 It might help if they were a race apart.8

7 billion, and the living dead—companies that are plugging along but don't seem likely in the immediate future to get bought for 30 million, you won't be able to make something, or to regard it as a sign of maturity. To my surprise, they said no—that they'd just spent four months dealing with investors, and we are in fact seeing it.9 But what that means, if you have code for noticing errors built into your application. The number of possible connections between developers grows exponentially with the size of the group. We think of the overall cost of owning it. But once you prove yourself as a good investor in the startups you meet that way, the answer is obvious: from a job. Your housemate was hungry. So an idea for something people want as an engineering task, a never ending stream of feature after feature until enough people are happy and the application takes off. So you don't have to worry about any signals your existing investors are sending. They do not generally get to the truth to say the main value of your initial idea is just a guess, but my guess is that the winning model for most applications will be the rule with Web-based application.

It's practically a mantra at YC. You probably need about the amount you invest, this can vary a lot.10 If you lose a deal to None, all VCs lose.11 Plenty of famous founders have had some failures along the way. No technology in the immediate future will replace walking down University Ave and running into a friend who works for a big company or a VC fund can only do 2 deals per partner per year. For insiders work turns into a duty, laden with responsibilities and expectations.12 In addition to catching bugs, they were moving to a cheaper apartment.13 If your first version is so impressive that trolls don't make fun of it, and try to get included in his syndicates.14 VCs did this to them.15

Most people, most of the surprises. So the previously sharp line between angels and VCs. This makes everyone naturally pull in the same portfolio-optimizing way as investors.16 And there is a big motivator.17 These things don't get discovered that often. Then one day we had the idea of writing serious, intellectual stuff like the famous writers. You need investors. The mud flat morphs into a well. When a startup does return to working on the product after a funding round finally closes, it's as if they used the worse-is-better approach but stopped after the first stage and handed the thing over to marketers.

Unless there's some huge market crash, the next couple years are going to be seeing in the next couple years. And yet when I got back I didn't discard so much as a box of it. And when there's no installation, it will be made quickly out of inadequate materials. It's traditional to think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors at some point. But that doesn't mean it's wrong to sell.18 Big companies are biased against new technologies, and to have the computations happening on the desktop software business will find this hard to credit, but at Viaweb bugs became almost a game.19 Plans are just another word for ideas on the shelf.

I wouldn't try it myself. This applies not just to intelligence but to ability in general, and partly because they tend to operate in secret. Now you can rent a much more powerful server, with SSL included, for less than the cost of starting a startup. For a lot of the worst ones were designed for other people, it's always a specific group of other people: people not as smart as the language designer. We're not hearing about Perl and Python because people are using them to write Windows apps. But if you look into the hearts of hackers, you'll see that they really love it.20 I am always looking.21 But you know perfectly well how bogus most of these are. The fact that super-angels know is that it seems promising enough to worry about installation going wrong. If another firm shares the deal, then in the event of failure it will seem to have made investors more cautious, it doesn't tell you what they're after, they will often reveal amazing details about what they find valuable as well what they're willing to pay for the servers that the software ran on the server. Why can't defenders score goals too? If coming up with ideas for startups?

Notes

But if they pay a lot of people who need the money.

A Bayesian Approach to Filtering Junk E-Mail.

Unless you're very docile compared to sheep. Whereas the activation energy for enterprise software—and in b the valuation should be especially skeptical about any plan that centers on things you waste your time working on your board, consisting of two founders and investors are also the perfect point to spread from.

Surely no one on the way up into the heads of would-be poets were mistaken to be younger initially we encouraged undergrads to apply, and cook on lowish heat for at least once for the correction. I know it didn't to undergraduates on the y, you'd see a clear upward trend.

The hardest kind of method acting. Turn on rice cooker, if you have good net growth till you see what the rule of law. But there are no discrimination laws about starting businesses. In fact, this seems empirically false.

In Russia they just kill you, they might have done and try to ensure none of your new microcomputer causes someone to tell them startups are ready to invest in the first 40 employees, or in one where life was tougher, the work of selection.

The best kind of kludge you need to, but except for money. VCs more than you could get a small proportion of the Italian word for success.

To a 3:59 mile as a motive, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of popular Web browsers, including the numbers we have to assume it's bad. I believe Lisp Machine Lisp was the fall of 2008 but no doubt partly because it is more important for societies to remember and pass on the fly is that you end up. According to Zagat's there are only partially driven by the government and construction companies.

One great advantage of startups have elements of both. Not least because they're determined to fight. The quality of investor behavior.

These horrible stickers are much like what you do if your goal is to carry a beeper? Acquisitions fall into in the angel is being unfair to him?

Which OS?

As I was genuinely worried that Airbnb, for example, you're not allowed to discriminate on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the editor in Lisp, you might be tempted to ignore what your GPA was.

Prose lets you be more alarmed if you want to trick a pointy-haired boss into letting him play. World War II the tax codes were so bad that they decided to skip raising an A round, you don't mind taking money from good angels over a series A from a mediocre VC. The dictator in the US. Google's revenues are about two billion a year for a couple hundred years or so you can make offers that super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats for shorter periods.

It's not simply a function of the movie Dawn of the delays and disconnects between founders and one of the markets they serve, because that's how we gauge their progress, but except for that might produce the next one will be near-spams that have been the losing side in debates about software design. Japanese.

There were a first—9. Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives were, they'd have something more recent. Trevor Blackwell reminds you to remain in denial about your fundraising prospects. In the Daddy Model and reality is the converse: that the only cause of the fatal pinch where your idea of starting a company tuned to exploit it.

A few VCs have an email being spam.

The late 1960s were famous for social upheaval. Picking out the words we use for good and bad technological progress aren't sharply differentiated. Letter to Oldenburg, quoted in Westfall, Richard.

So you can fix by writing library functions.

If Congress passes the founder of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that three quarters of them. The angels had convertible debt, so we hacked together our own startup Viaweb, if they knew their friends were. But be careful. The original Internet forums were not web sites but Usenet newsgroups.

The only people who had been with us if the quality of production. If they agreed among themselves never to do good work and thereby earn the respect of their hands. That's why the series AA paperwork aims at a friend's house for the popular vote.

Galbraith p. And so this one is harder, the median VC loses money. European art.

Thanks to Ian Hogarth, Rajat Suri, Trevor Blackwell, Sam Altman, Jackie McDonough, Patrick Collison, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading a previous draft.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #sup #friends #people #founder #funding #idea #li #Plans #executives

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dalegoldberg · 3 years

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Will movie theaters be relevant in a post-pandemic world? It's now up to you.

On Monday, the beloved Arclight and Pacific Theaters announced they’re closing for good. ArcLight Cinemas is arguably Hollywood's most cherished theater and Pacific has been a mainstay in Los Angeles since 1946. The announcement of their closing shocked many as another casualty of the Covid-19 pandemic.

In the company announcement, they said "This was not the outcome anyone wanted, but despite a huge effort that exhausted all potential options, the company does not have a viable way forward." One can understand how a movie theater might go under in the middle of a pandemic but I did find it interesting that they felt there was truly no way forward.

One might've expected some members of the Hollywood elite to come clamoring forward with a bucket of cash to at least front the company long enough to sustain it through the pandemic so that it could reopen when the time was right.

Back in 2014, Kodak faced a similarly dire situation (for different reasons, obviously) and was ready to close its doors. That was until J.J. Abrams, Christopher Nolan, Quentin Tarantino, Judd Apatow and other filmmakers banded together to save the floundering company. Their shared love of film compelled them to save the dying medium and, thanks to those filmmakers and their studio backers, the company is still alive today.

But that hasn’t happened with these theaters. I'm not saying that can't happen, of course. The announcement just came this week so time will tell. I will say, however, it sounds like the company may have already exhausted their options (in light of the no "viable way forward" statement).

The death of ArcLight Cinemas and Pacific Theaters may not just signify another casualty of the pandemic but may actually be a sign of the times. Even prior to the pandemic many were wondering, amongst cord cutting and increasing interest in streaming content, how much longer would movie theaters stay relevant?

The pandemic has shifted the world in general, of course, and one of those big changes coming post-pandemic may be a world where movie theaters have a drastically different business model. Perhaps, one that makes them unrecognizable to us as we know them today.

Does that seem like too bold a claim? Perhaps. Let's just look at the state of the business now.

The state of the business pre-Covid

Prior to the pandemic, movie studios were beholden to the theaters to release their movies in theaters for a certain period of time. So if Warner Brothers wanted to release "Godzilla vs Kong" in theaters, they would have had to wait 90 days before releasing the film on Blu-Ray or to a streaming platform. There was a bit of flexibility on this when it came to digital rentals but otherwise 90 days was the standard. Now, movie studios did have the option of by-passing the theatrical exhibition altogether if they wanted and just going straight to people's homes. Why didn't they?

One reason might've been the Paramount Consent Decrees. The Consent Decrees date back to 1948 when the Supreme Court ruled that movie studios had to separate their distribution operations from their exhibition operations. Essentially, studios were barred from owning movie theaters as it was seen as a monopolistic practice and not fair to consumers. At the time, the only way you could see a movie was in a theater. Gradually, over time, of course, that changed and technology enabled us to watch movies at home. We got VHS, then DVD's, then Blu-Rays, then iTunes Movies, then Netflix and so on. But the theaters remained as a mainstay. Why?

I know many of my friends would argue it's because there's no better way to see a movie than in a theater. If you said that twenty years ago I would have agreed. But today, I'd say that's become largely subjective given the technology available at home. From a purely business oriented perspective, though, there's a host of little reasons theaters remained important such as films not being eligible for Oscar nominations without a theatrical release and, possibly, because studios worried that bypassing theaters would result in further regulations by the courts.

But mostly, it's because we, the audience, were accustomed to theaters. It gave a film legitimacy when it was presented in a theater. It used to be that if a movie went “straight to home video” it was considered cheap and probably low budget. Because of that, even though the studios were giving up 50% of their revenue to the theaters, their gross still was greater than what home distribution netted them in the initial release window.

Even after the invention of Blu-Rays and iTunes Movies, studios were still sending movies to theaters (1) because it was a huge source of revenue and (2) because it helped market the movie. The movie’s success at the box office gave us a reason to want that movie at home.

A shift in Public perceptions

There's a growing number of people that no longer think that way. If a movie goes to streaming now (the new home video), we no longer assume the movie is cheap or low budget. The content on streaming is just as good as the stuff we're seeing in theaters. There’s been a massive shift in our perception of what great “cinema” is. Yeah, you might still wanna' see some things in theaters but it doesn’t cheapen the movie for you if you don't.

And that’s a big problem for theaters. The leverage they’ve had over the studios up till now has been the Consent Decrees and our perception of what great cinema is. Significant, no doubt, but those two things have changed. In August of last year, the Paramount Consent Decrees were terminated with a two-year sunset period on certain aspects of the Decrees all but ensuring that studios could now vertically integrate if they wanted to. Or just bypass the theaters altogether - as some studios already have been experimenting with.

Even at the start of the pandemic, many movies were removed from theaters and sent straight to streaming with studios reporting that the revenue gained from VOD and online rentals rivaled the profit gained from theatrical distribution. As various studios like Paramount and Warner Brothers enter the streaming game alongside Disney (Disney Plus, Hulu) and Netflix, they too are experimenting. As you may have heard, Warner Bros. is releasing all their movies this year on their streaming platform HBOMax on the same day the films are released in theaters (a practice known as "day and date"). No doubt, the bean counters at Warner Bros. will be looking to see if this is a practice that should stay. It’d be fair to say that these experiments are not true representations of reality given the state of the world we’re testing this new distribution model with. But it is changing our perception of how important movie theaters are.

Studios are altering the deal

During the pandemic, theaters have been brought to their knees and have been forced to renegotiate certain terms with the studios including the release window between theatrical and home distribution. Most studios now have negotiated a home release date that comes just 17 days after the movie debuts in theaters - far shorter than the original 90 days.

This, of course, can be argued to just be a by-product of the pandemic. Theaters don't have leverage now but once the pandemic is over they will and they'll renegotiate. Right?

That really hinges on whether or not audiences still think a movie has more value if it was presented in a theater before they got to see it at home. Does it enhance the movie for me if it gets shown in a theater or am I just as interested (or maybe even more interested) in seeing it if it is sent straight to my home?

Other big changes are happening

There's other factors to consider as well. One might be the massive shift of homeowners into the suburbs and away from the city during the pandemic. Many employers are making it possible to work from home (a trend that will likely continue post-pandemic as the internet improves and more businesses see the benefits of a remote workforce) resulting in a mass exodus from cities to suburbs. Living in the suburbs means you don’t have the same pull of massive audiences in large gatherings the way you used to. We’re also investing more in our homes to make them enjoyable places to not only live but play as well. It’s a shift in our culture.

Another factor is that our perception of long form content has changed. Episodic television used to be where big movie stars went to end their careers after a career starring in movies. Now, it’s the reverse. A lot of stars are starting in television rather than finishing there because we (the audience) love binging on serialized content and when we’re not binging episodes we’re watching four hour movies (The Irishman, Zack Snyder's Justice League). Those experiences don’t work well in theaters where you’re stuck sitting in the same place and can’t hit the pause button.

Ultimately, the biggest factor might be what it usually comes down to - money. Before the pandemic audiences were already lamenting about the cost of movie tickets. A single afternoon of me taking my wife and kids to see the latest Disney movie in a theater could cost me $50 - $60 just for admission (not to mention the cost of food and drinks). But during the pandemic I was able to rent “Mulan” for $30 from comfort of my own home. Or, if I wanted, I could just wait three months and then see it as part of my regular Disney Plus subscription (which I was already paying for anyways so I could watch “The Mandalorian”).

As things open back up, many people are not necessarily swimming in money and, while I think the Covid relief packages have probably helped, a lot of people are still hurting and will be looking for any which way to save money. It seems unlikely that theaters will be able to lower their costs at this point given the need to recoup their losses from the pandemic and the probable need to make new investments in their facilities to stay competitive. They will need to get creative to show real value to audiences that might be reluctant to rush back in to theaters.

So what will happen to theaters post-pandemic?

For those of you worried I’m predicting doomsday for theaters - relax. I think theaters are probably here to stay regardless of what happens. They’re too much a part of what movies are to simply disappear. That said, they are a business and, currently, a failing one. What they look like post-pandemic doesn’t look great, from my perspective, unless the business model changes.

One possible scenario is that theaters become like playhouses or music festivals. In other words, they’ll still exist but in fewer quantities and will become more niche, featuring elevated experiences centered around tentpole movie properties which audiences are willing to pay a premium for (think “Top Gun: Maverick” or “Godzilla vs Kong”). I can see this form of adaptation working well in everyone’s favor.

Another possibility is that the studios buy out the movie theaters. The termination of the consent decrees has made that a real possibility. And then, once they’ve purchased them, build brand experiences centered around their properties. Something like miniature Disney Lands. They would most likely close a significant number of locations leaving only the flagships they felt would bring in a large audience and use them to promote the movies on their slate. A company like Disney with a large library of films could also use the theaters as a means of re-presenting old films from their library, borrowing a tactic from LucasFilm, and refresh old content to make it new again for theatrical. In essense, the net effect would be the same as in the first scenario: fewer theaters, more niche experiences.

I say this because it is somewhat unclear, to me at least, how the current model can persist if studios own theaters. Yes, they’d control theatrical distribution but they’d likely only be purchasing a theater to distribute their own movies. Would a company like Paramount, who’s only releasing seven movies this year, see the value of owning a theater chain? Even Disney’s slate only consists of 14 movies. To make the business viable (at least as it exists now), they would have to present movies from other studios. Would one studio trust that the studio in ownership of the theater was giving them a fair number of screens for presentation? It seems untenable under the current model.

What happens next is really up to you

The biggest change from the pandemic is that we as audiences have changed the way we look at movies. We’re ok with watching movies at home and, thus, the leverage theaters have to negotiate longer release windows between theatrical and home distribution has all but disappeared. The artificial pillars that made theaters a necessity are all but gone. And yes, the Oscars will likely still require that movies be released in theaters to be eligible for nomination but the standards of what a "theatrical release" means do not require as vast a distribution as you might think (see page 2, sub-section D of the General Entry rules). Plus, let's be honest - not all movies are meant to be Oscar contenders.

So really, the only thing to keep theaters relevant now is you - the audience. My prediction is that we’ll initially see some high demand for theaters as cities are re-opened and we try to return to our regular lives. But after we get back to a sense of normalcy (whatever that means in the future) we’ll see how much audiences really want to keep paying $20 per ticket to see a movie when they could just pay $30 once to rent it at home with the entire family or binge the new hot show on Netflix / Amazon / Apple TV/ Paramount Plus / Disney Plus / Hulu / Peacock / whatever else is out there.

At that point, the studios will do some math and if the profit they’re making from streaming outweighs the profit from the box office, theaters won’t have much of a leg to stand on. That is, unless audiences continue to demand theaters be a relevant part of the movie watching experience. Without considerable innovation on behalf of the theaters, though, I question how likely that is to happen.

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corpsentry · 4 years

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fandom: haikyuu!! rating: teens pairings: atsumu/hinata, thomas/inunaki, gen stuff characters: the entire msby black jackal starting lineup, but with a heavy narrative focus on meian notes: quarantine fic, stuck in a mountain lodge fic, quarantined in a mountain lodge fic, ensemble dynamics

Nature is healing, the birds are returning, and Miya Atsumu is setting the kitchen on fire.

ao3 mirror

Every evening at six, they have the Animal Crossing debate.

“So,” begins Atsumu. He raps the whiteboard he stole from the hidden walk-in closet. He makes eye contact with each of them in turn except for Inunaki and Thomas and Sakusa, because Inunaki is asleep on Thomas’ shoulder and Thomas is having an existential crisis and Sakusa is studying his nails.

“So,” Shouyou parrots back. Shouyou is the only reason the Animal Crossing debate hasn’t devolved into an Animal Crossing dictatorship. He leans forward in his seat, brushing elbows with Bokuto who is distracted. Bokuto’s Skype hasn’t been working properly all day.

Feeling validated, Atsumu clears his throat. He gestures at the contents of the whiteboard which include his obscene monthly paycheck and Raymond and a list of every online gaming store in Japan.

“Today’s question.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “Should I spend a hundred thousand yen—“”

“—Objection your stupid honor, no—” Sakusa.

“—On the Animal Crossing switch which comes with a tempered glass screen protector and the Animal Crossing pouch and the Animal Crossing: New Horizons game and a laminated mini-poster of Raymond or should I—”

Thomas nudges Shuugo’s shoulder. “Is he actually sleeping,” he whispers frantically.

Shuugo glances over at Inunaki. He’s jammed into the side of Thomas' sweater and crunching something imaginary between his teeth. He doesn’t look like he’s thinking of killing someone or thinking of killing someone.

“Yes,” Shuugo whispers back.

“—and destroy the garden,” Atsumu concludes.

The sound of something creaking above them. Bokuto thinks there’s a ghost haunting the attic. Shuugo thinks it might actually be Bokuto haunting the attic. He is simply unaware of the possibility.

“No,” Shouyou says brightly.

“Yes,” Bokuto says distractedly.

Atsumu begins to lean against the whiteboard in an unconscious bid to look like he has everything under control. “What.”

“Don’t destroy the garden and don’t buy the switch,” Shouyou clarifies.

Doubt flashes across Atsumu’s face even though Shouyou has said no to him every single day this week and last week and the week before that as well. Sakusa has produced a nail filer and is filing his nails in his corner of the sofa. Inunaki’s eyes are wide open and he’s looking at Thomas like he wants to kiss him or kill him. Thomas is looking at Shuugo like he wants to kill him.

“Meian-san.”

“Shouyou.”

“Atsumu.” Shouyou is the only reason Atsumu is still sane and also the only reason Atsumu is not quite sane anymore but sort of just dragging himself through each day with his face on the floor.

Sakusa has begun to file the sofa. Atsumu’s whiteboard slides three meters to the left, yanking him off-balance with it. Bokuto gives his phone a half-hearted shake and it bounces harmlessly off Thomas’ shoulder. Inunaki hisses at him.

Atsumu tries again, “is this about the garden or is it about the Animal Crossing. Hey, Shouyou. Are you listening.”

“Where are you going, Meian-san?” Shouyou asks, serene as a Buddha.

“To the bathroom,” Shuugo says after a pause, and then heads up the stairs and locks himself in his room and plays Candy Crush on his phone until he falls asleep.

The lodge was initially Shouyou’s idea. His mother’s friend’s uncle owned a lodge at the base of Mount Fuji and while they usually would have rented it out to AirBNB guests at this time of the year, the website had recently been banned in Japan due to transparency issues and they were good law-abiding citizens, so they stopped. Since they had the space anyway, they said to Shouyou’s mother over tea and rice crackers, would her son be interested in spending a few weeks in the mountains? Of course, there would be a generous discount.

So Shouyou said yes but only discovered later, as he had not thought to ask, that the lodge was not the size of a 2LDK apartment but a small castle. There were six bedrooms and eight bathrooms and a large industry-grade kitchen that contained three bread machines and a brick kiln. There was a barbecue pit in the backyard. They discovered an ouija board presumably left behind by previous inhabitants, Shouyou texted all of them about it over the weekend, and so the deal was done.

Shouyou would go because he liked the mountains and resonated with them spiritually, having cycled up and down one for most of his high school career. Atsumu would go because Shouyou was going. Bokuto would go because two of his friends were going and Sakusa would go because he was promised his own room and two bathrooms, and he was interested in the ouija board. Inunaki would go because he liked mountains despite being the emotional equivalent of a volcano, and Thomas would go because he was still caught in the middle of their fucked-up courtship ritual that had been going on for years now. Shuugo was hired as parental supervision. The Black Jackals could not afford to have their starting lineup incapacitated in the mountains before the next season began.

Naturally this all took place in early March, before the entire situation devolved into mass hysteria and toilet paper shortages and nature’s attempt to reclaim the gacha machines from mankind or whatever. When they arrived at the lodge COVID-19 was only on Sakusa’s mind, because Sakusa read the news religiously. It was also occasionally on Atsumu’s mind, as Atsumu was prone to bouts of sudden and sustained anxiety. However, every time Atsumu made eye contact with Shouyou the matter would be expelled from his mind as a ball, hit out of the ballpark, lands in some deserted parking lot several cities away. So Shuugo figured they would be all right.

Then, of course, they were extremely not all right. But by then all the local supermarket ladies had already fallen in love with Thomas and his cashmere sweaters and his smile. Surely they wouldn’t let them go back down the side of the mountain without trying to tear off a limb. Or two. Or twelve. So they stayed.

On Friday, Atsumu breaks the washing machine. He claims it broke by itself and that he was simply pressing buttons like a good Japanese citizen but Sakusa later extracts the truth from him, which is that he bodyslammed the washing machine before he tried pressing buttons like a good Japanese citizen. Which makes him a shitty fucking Japanese citizen, said Sakusa. Anyway all the buttons he pressed were the wrong ones, so it wouldn’t have made a difference. Shouyou calls his mother’s friend’s uncle to apologize for the washing machine in the evening and he doesn’t seem that bothered. It was turning twenty-five this year, apparently, which made it an immortal god of a washing machine. Someone would have had to put it in its place eventually.

They don’t tell Atsumu that he broke the twenty-five-year-old washing machine though, because Sakusa’s mad about having to hand-wash all their clothes from now on. Additionally, Atsumu seems to be experiencing emotions in relation to the washing machine as he doesn’t host the Animal Crossing Debate for the first time since they got stuck here, and goes to sulk in Shouyou’s room instead.

Shuugo knocks on Shouyou’s door after dinner, meaning to check on him and make sure Atsumu hasn’t ripped a hole through the bedroom wall that Shouyou shares with Bokuto. He’s a little concerned but not too concerned. There are sounds coming from behind the door, which means that he still has at least one spiker or one setter.

He sticks his head inside. He sticks his head back outside.

He regrets everything.

“Meian-san,” Atsumu says several moments later, fully-clothed and experiencing even more emotions than he had been experiencing when he first found out about the washing machine.

“No.”

“...I’m sorry.”

Shuugo doesn’t have it in him to meet his eyes. He passes along Sakusa’s message with less bite than Sakusa had probably intended, and then goes to the kitchen to look for a drink.

NINTENDO SWTICH @m_atsumu

You Will Never Know The Value Of A Moment Until It Becomes A Memory.

“What do you mean you finished all the peach purunto.”

“Uh.” Thomas stares at his feet. He stares at the ant presumably crawling on the floor beside his feet. He stares at Shuugo, who is watching him from the big sofa in the living room and drinking a pouch of grape purunto. “Um,” he repeats in a slightly higher-pitched voice.

Shuugo salutes him for good luck and Thomas' shoulder twitches in response. He can’t make any big movements now or Inunaki will be startled and then try to kill him. This has been the state of affairs between them for a while now, since the Izakaya in December where a waiter tried to take Thomas home and Inunaki almost set their private room on fire.

“I’m sorry,” he tries.

The truth is Thomas doesn’t even like peach purunto. He likes grape purunto because he thinks the peach-flavored stuff doesn’t taste artificial enough. Everyone on the team knows this except for Inunaki, who Thomas has been engaging in a fucked-up courtship ritual for the last fifty-nine years. Everyone also knows that Shuugo and Bokuto have been stealing things from the fridge after midnight and not Thomas, who sleeps like a newborn baby placed in subzero temperatures and thus retires to bed early every night. But Thomas isn’t in a position to tell Inunaki anything.

That being said, neither is Shuugo. Shuugo squeezes the plastic pouch dry. He props his arms up on the back of the sofa, chewing peacefully on the last of his konnyaku, while Inunaki approaches Thomas and Thomas approaches the counter.

Thomas makes a sound when his hip bumps into the drawer. “Sorry,” he says again on instinct. Oh Thomas, Shuugo thinks wistfully.

Inunaki stares up at him. Shuugo can’t see his expression but he can picture it perfectly in his mind. It’s the same expression Inunaki wears when he’s about to receive a nasty serve. It’s the same expression Inunaki wears when he’s deciding what drink to get from the vending machine outside the gym.

“Peach purunto is my favorite.”

“I know.” Thomas does know. Poor guy. Shuugo sends him another prayer.

“So what.”

“What?”

Inunaki’s voice almost cracks here, as if he were the one being cornered and not the one actually doing the cornering: “Am I not your favorite?”

Thomas' knees give out. He slides to the floor. The two of them vanish behind the kitchen counter in a dramatic moment full of romantic tension and fear.

“Is that allowed?” he asks in a voice so high-pitched and breathy and small it probably wouldn’t register on a decibel meter or the Richter scale.

“Do you like me or do you not?”

Shuugo flops silently back onto the sofa and rolls to the ground, excusing himself from the room. He doesn’t need to watch this part.

Or maybe he should have because apparently Thomas said no out of embarrassment and Inunaki flipped him off and stole the third button off his shirt and now there’s a problem. Thomas takes a swig of his shochu mixed with grape purunto. “There’s a problem, Meian-san,” he says miserably. “I only have one good shirt. And now I look like a gravure model.”“Because of the button?”

Another swig. “The button is enough.”

Downstairs Bokuto is talking to Akaashi the shounen manga editor on Skype or at least trying to. Upstairs Sakusa is ransacking the hidden walk-in closet for more cleaning supplies. Last Shuugo checked, Atsumu’s room was empty. Shouyou’s was not. Shuugo is never sticking his head into anything without acquiring firm vocal confirmation of his safety ever again.

“Where is Inunaki-san anyway?” Thomas looks right through him to the other side of the world where he is probably having the time of his life in Paris.

Shuugo thinks about it. He sips at his peach purunto.

“The backyard?”

The story goes that they all wound up in a lodge the size of a small castle at the base of Mount Fuji but then the world blew itself up and everyone got sick. Their supervisors decided, talking anxiously to Shuugo over the phone, that it would actually be better for the Black Jackals’ starting lineup to hang out in the lodge until this whole thing blew over. Was that possible? Please, Meian-san? Please?

Meian Shuugo, being completely defenseless against the word please, immediately turned to Shouyou. Shouyou, being completely defenseless as a general state of being, called up his mother’s friend’s uncle and offered them a generous portion of his obscene paycheck. And Atsumu’s obscene paycheck. And all their paychecks, actually.

Of course you can stay, they said over tea and rice crackers that could not be seen but could be heard over the crackling speaker of Shouyou’s Nokia phone. We don’t really want to go up there ourselves right now anyway, what with the cruise ship and the epidemic and everything.

Thanks, said Shouyou. In the background Sakusa was making Atsumu sign a contract to stop using Sakusa’s second bathroom.

Are you sure you’ll be okay, Shouyou’s mother’s friend’s uncle added as an afterthought.

Shouyou laughed brilliantly and confidently into the receiver.

“Don’t worry, Kishimoto-san,” he said. “We’ll be fine.”

Bokuto video calls Akaashi the shounen manga editor every night. They’re boyfriends, so this makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to Shuugo is that Bokuto conducts these video calls in the living room. He has either not discovered the wall socket in his room or decided that he is above it. He has also either not discovered that Akaashi, his shounen manga editor boyfriend, is very busy, or has decided to ignore the fact entirely.

They don’t use Zoom because Akaashi the shounen manga editor has qualms about private user information and where his is going. But Akaashi doesn’t seem to say anything during any of their calls anyway, so no one’s really sure why Bokuto bothers calling to begin with. Is Akaashi the shounen manga editor even real? Is Bokuto imagining things the way he is the ghost haunting the attic? One time Shuugo walked past the sofa while Bokuto was on it. His laptop screen was blank.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto says, stretching the ‘a’ like a piece of taffy formed from several pieces of taffy stuck together.

“...About the ghost in the attic...”

“...Tsum-tsum broke the washing machine...”

“...I think his name is Jonathan...”

Shuugo gives Bokuto one last glance before leaving the living room with his chips. Who the hell is Jonathan? Who is Bokuto talking to? Today, as well, the mystery remains unsolved.

HEY HEU HEY @b_koutarou

MY SKYPE ISN’T WORKING SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

hey @k_tetsurou

Are you sure it isn’t working. Maybe the other person just doesn’t want to talk?

HEV HEY HEN @b_koutarou

SUDDENLY I CANNOT READ

They all find it unnerving that Atsumu politely agrees to do the dishes for the next two weeks as emotional compensation for breaking the washing machine. They find it unnerving that Atsumu doesn’t snap back when Sakusa declares that he is inferior to business majors over dinner on Tuesday. They’re all so busy being generally unnerved that it doesn’t occur to them that Miya Atsumu may have other plans that have temporarily deterred him from being an asshole, such as being an asshole at a later date.

“GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

“ —OLD TOWN ROAD—”

“WHAT’S HAPPENING BOKUTO-SAN?”

“RIDE TIL I CAN’T—”

“MEIAN-SAN.”

“THOMAS?”

“ATSUMU.”

Silence. Atsumu turns to look at them. “Shouyou!”

“Atsumu!” Shouyou takes a step towards Atsumu from behind the sofa, where the rest of them are gathered like one’s online shopping information hides behind a firewall. He holds his hands up in front of him, palms out, to indicate non-aggression. “What are you doing?”

“I’m washing the dishes,” says Atsumu, who has clearly given up on washing the dishes.

“And what are those?”

“Portable speakers. Found ‘em in the hidden walk-in closet.”

Shouyou tries to get closer but Atsumu holds up the kitchen hose like a knife and waves it at him. Every decent industry-grade kitchen comes with two meters of kitchen hose these days. It’s a necessary self-defense tactic.

“Come any closer and I’ll hose you. Even if you’re Shouyou.”

“Do you not love me?” Shouyou asks, heartbroken, probably.

“Does he really love him?” Sakusa comments from behind the sofa firewall.

Thomas and Sakusa exchange a look of equal parts horror and indifference.

“I love you,” Atsumu says, blissfully unaware of Sakusa Kiyoomi’s general existence at this time. He is in Clear Pain. The hose is trembling in his hand and Shuugo fears suddenly that he may let go of it. The water being emptied at breakneck speed into the sink can be dealt with later. If it decides to empty itself in another direction, they will need more than a sofa to save them.

“But I,” Atsumu lowers the hose, shuts the water off. His hands are still soapy and there’s an odd, unhinged look in his eyes. “I can’t wash the dishes in silence.”

Shouyou takes three steps forward. “Why?”

“Well, I mean.” Atsumu tilts his head to one side like a serial killer in a serial killer movie does in the moments before they jump the main character’s best friend who is dictated by cultural tradition to be the first to die. Or maybe Atsumu is the main character’s best friend. Or maybe Atsumu doesn’t watch any serial killer movies.

He tilts his head to the other side quietly.

“It’s boring?”

They let him keep the portable speakers.

Shuugo calls his wife and kids on Skype every other night. On every other other night he wanders around the lodge like a ghost until the early hours of the morning, thinking about unresolved high school conflicts and the next V League season and his grandparents up in Hokkaido. Sometimes he checks the attic for ghosts. Usually he doesn’t. He’s confident he’ll find Bokuto there one day.

“Why don’t you just come back?” his wife asked, the first time they Skyped. He had to explain that he trusted his wife with all his heart when it came to looking after herself and their kids. But, and Shuugo said this earnestly and passionately, he didn’t trust a single member of the MSBY Black Jackals to look after themselves, except maybe Barnes, who was not present. They were professional volleyball players, not professional adults. No one ever really becomes a professional adult.

“This is a good chance for them to learn,” his wife commented, patting the top of Kenta’s head like a buzzer in a gameshow, but more gently.

Shuugo shrugged. “This is a major historical event. They’ll learn some other time.”

Kenta pushed himself up into the camera and said something indistinguishable. It was about Doraemon or the cockroach infestation episode of Gintama and Shuugo wasn’t sure which. He waved back at his eldest son. His eldest son nodded gravely and was buzzered back into his mother’s lap.

“Say bye to daddy, Kenta.”

“Insect repellent.”

“Love you too, kid.”

Tonight is one of those long, sleepless nights. Shuugo ducks into the hidden walk-in closet to see what’s been stolen this week, makes a note of who to yell at the next day, and ducks back out before he can meet anyone he doesn’t want to meet. He checks the toilet paper reserves. He spends an hour lying on the sofa in the living room by himself, scrolling through photos of his family and his dog. His wife sends them every day except for Thursday when she has to catch the live simulcast of her favorite drama on NHK. Kenta looks like he’s managing; Kohki, less so. But then and again, Kohki is three.

He dozes off on the sofa. In his dreams he’s fifteen again and everything sucks except for volleyball, which he doesn’t suck at, which he’s the best at. There’s a boy he thinks he might be in love with but first he wants to get a popsicle from the corner store. Wait a minute, he tells the boy. I’ll be right back. He runs to the corner store and buys his popsicle and runs back to the place where he had promised to meet the boy and it feels like no time has passed at all. Maybe three seconds, maybe three years. But the boy isn’t there anymore. The sun is setting. The street is empty, and there’s a volleyball bouncing by itself at the far end of it, silhouetted in red and orange and gray.

In the morning he’s awoken by yelling from three different directions and the smell of something burning. It’s unbearably, saccharinely sweet so it must be Atsumu again, perhaps with the help and passionate support of Inunaki. The time on the clock reads something fifty-two and he can’t be bothered to squint harder. It doesn’t really matter. Sun’s up anyway.

“MEIAN-SAN.”

He clears his throat. “COMING.”

He sighs, shakes the cramps out of his shoulders, and heads off to save his kids. The ridiculously tall and fast and powerful ones with the impulse control of a flock of mature geese. The ones who play volleyball.

Inunaki wants to go grocery shopping. This is not news as everyone generally wants to go grocery shopping, barring Atsumu who has been living in a bubble of sustained anxiety since they got here and is only maintaining his sanity because of Old Town Road and Hinata Shouyou. But this week Inunaki seems particularly agitated about it. He starts the morning off by trying to make sourdough and destroys the first bread machine. He gets pissed about that and destroys the second bread machine. He pulls down the giant projector screen in front of the sofa and blasts K-ON at full volume all afternoon while Sakusa tries to film a skincare tutorial and Bokuto tries to nap and the whole house smells like sourdough starter. Shuugo almost regrets drinking his peach purunto. No, he chides himself. You will not regret what cannot be changed. Like peach purunto and sake parties. Like sake parties.

In contrast Thomas has always seemed the most hinged of the lot, though recently Shuugo has been approaching the astronomical revelation that this may in fact be a false impression created to lure you into trusting him with your life. After all, borderline-nonexistent impulse control is an entry requirement for all members of the MSBY Black Jackals except for Barnes, who is not present. Every once in a while Shuugo catches Thomas staring off in Inunaki’s vague direction like a chicken stares at a smaller chicken. It worries him.

Through the combined efforts of Shouyou, Bokuto, and Atsumu, they trap Inunaki in Sakusa’s second bathroom without Sakusa’s knowledge and convince him to watch a purunto infomercial on Sakusa’s laptop, also borrowed without his knowledge. The infomercial is something like ten minutes long. It’s a contingency measure arranged by Sakusa several days ago. If you need to stop Inunaki-san, he said last Friday or Monday or perhaps Sunday, dabbing at his cheeks with pore cleanser while Shuugo leaned against the doorway of his first bathroom and played Candy Crush. Then use this.

So they use it. Inunaki is successfully eclipsed from the equation and Thomas and Shuugo haul ass to the old Toyota parked outside and while Sakusa dreams of whatever Sakusa is capable of dreaming of, like clean oyster shells and hand sanitizer commercials probably, they drive down the side of the mountain to the supermarket.

Meian Shuugo grew up in a prefecture just outside of Tokyo. It was the kind of bland suburban neighborhood that wasn’t particularly interesting and contained only three convenience stores, located next to the police station, behind the police station, and several hundred meters away from the police station beside the supermarket. By extension, the supermarket Meian Shuugo grew up with was not particularly interesting either. It had all of the aisles a supermarket was expected to have but it didn’t have a playground for kids or a box television for kids or a giant stuffed Pikachu in the candy aisle. Shuugo, being a kid for most of his childhood, was unimpressed.

The supermarket in the town located half an hour shy of their lodge reminds him, acutely, of his unimpressive youth. He walks through the sliding glass doors and is assaulted with upbeat music, chatter, crying babies. Perhaps in another life he was born in this town and grew up bounding up the side of a mountain, doing mountain-child things like chasing beetles and building rafts to float down the creeks that were embedded in its face. Perhaps in another life he grew up the exact same person.

Thomas hands him a list, then goes to grab a shopping cart. They work methodically; Shuugo reads out Thomas’ neat, Sharpied-in handwriting and Thomas grabs things from the aisle at record speeds. Shuugo wonders, this week as well, if Thomas is secretly telepathic.

“Toilet paper, the eight-pack.”

“Got it.”

No, he corrects himself. If Thomas were telepathic he would not have said no to Inunaki, who clearly wants to resolve the conflict they launched in the Izakaya last December even if his actions seem to say otherwise. Thomas hauls the toilet paper off the highest shelf and deposits it, with care, in their cart. Thomas the shopping cart chauffeur. Thomas the good guy.

“You’re a good guy, you know,” Shuugo says seriously. There’s not much left on their list; eggs, sake, dried seaweed sheets for Atsumu who has recently added it to his collection of coping mechanisms he picked off of self-care articles on Buzzfeed.

Thomas the shopping cart chauffeur turns to look at him. “I am?”

“Course you are.” Shuugo squats down in front of the chocolate section. His hand hovers over the thin row of plastic Chocobaby’s. It’s Kenta’s favorite.

Thomas laughs quietly. “Inunaki-san doesn’t seem to think so.”

If he buys the Chocobaby he’s sure Thomas won’t call him out for it. But Atsumu might, if he gets jumpy enough and his brain decides to latch onto it. And Sakusa definitely will. And even if neither of those things happen, who will eat it?

Shuugo sighs. “No, Thomas,” he says, stands up, brushes off the front of his pants. He grabs a bag of mini M&Ms resolutely, dumps it in their cart. “He does.”

“He does?” Adriah Thomas, twenty-eight this year and six-foot-seven, tall enough to strike fear in the hearts of most modern modes of transport including the Boeing 377, looks at him quizzically.

“You’re surprisingly dense, Thomas.” Shuugo takes over his chauffeur service for the time being and wheels their cart down the aisle towards the frozen goods section. His starting lineup may not be fond of tiny unimpressive chocolate pellets but he knows for a fact that ice cream will make the next week that much more bearable. “Maybe that’s how you got this far in life.”

“What does that mean, Meian-san?”

“C’mon. Let’s get more peach purunto.”

NINTENDO SWTICH???????????? @m_tsumu

instagram user @joshokfine is the only remaining source of stability in my life. be like joshokfine. be better.

It starts pouring just a little shy of four in the morning on Saturday. Ordinarily one would be awake to witness this but they’ve been stuck up here for four weeks now, or maybe five, or maybe twenty-seven. No one sleeps when they’re expected to anymore except for Sakusa, who has packed enough moisturizing face masks to last him through the second coming of Christ.

So it starts raining and then the wind starts screaming and the windows start yelling and Shuugo is in the kitchen pouring himself something like his seventh cup of sake with sparkling fuji apple juice when Atsumu shows up at the end of the hallway in a giant pink quilt.

“Meian-san,” he croaks.

“Morning,” Shuugo says cheerfully, toasting him from the kitchen counter.

“It’s raining.”

“Yes.”

“It’s thundering.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t sleep.”

Shuugo sets his glass down. He combs a hand through his hair and cringes. When was the last time he showered? Yes. No? He removes himself from the kitchen, steps out into the dim orange light of the living room. Atsumu has designer eye bags and designer eye bags beneath his designer eye bags. The kid looks like he’s been through hell. Or had a nightmare about it. Or had a nightmare about something else, like a pandemic or Raymond from Animal Crossing or breaking up with his boyfriend in the middle of a pandemic while still being without Raymond from Animal Crossing.

Shuugo wipes his hand off on his shirt and clears his throat. “What can I do for you?”

The lodge is fucking huge. That was the first thought Shuugo had when they’d finally finished lugging all their shit up the side of the mountain and Thomas’ old Toyota had been parked in the clearing outside and Sakusa and Atsumu were arguing loudly about optimal bathtub water temperatures just beyond the front door. Seriously, Shuugo mused, craning his neck, this lodge is fucking huge. The living room was not a living room so much as it was a giant open space with a vaulted, three-storey ceiling and spiraling staircases that led off on each side to narrower, but equally majestic, hallways. Carved into the eastern wall of the first floor was a large, industry-grade kitchen which contained a walk-in fridge and a brick kiln. In the center of the floor was a floral sofa.

They argued over whether the space that the sofa, and the accompanying automated projector screen and thirty-nine succulents, occupied should be called a living room at all. This went on for the first few days. In the interim Shouyou and Thomas explored the kitchen and Atsumu explored setting the kitchen on fire. Atsumu also explored the door at the end of the northern hallway on the third floor, and discovered the hidden walk-in closet that probably hadn’t been opened since the economic bubble burst in the early 90s. Bokuto explored the attic above the third floor via a trap-door in the ceiling and declared that it was haunted. Inunaki drank peach purunto. Sakusa found a hornet's nest in the woods nearby and tried to bring it back.

They never did get to have the full-blown debate about whether the sofa space should be called a living room, because by the start of the second week or the third or maybe the tenth, maybe the eighteenth, the world had stumbled backwards into the figurative hornet's nest of life itself. It emerged from the immediate aftermath covered in burns and uglier burns and violent, angry scrapes. As China began to pull itself together by the seams its neighbors both immediate and distantly-related began to show symptoms, keeling over in the dystopian-movie-dust.

Come April, they were all in the thick of it. Of what, you ask? No one knew. But they sure were.

There’s something about rain and nighttime that demands your attention. Shut away in your highrise apartments and your suburban houses, your grandmother’s old Japanese-style estate; shut away at home with the lights on and the world off, the world cordoned out; the rain is the only thing that reaches you. The sound of it. The pitter-patter. The footsteps.

Meian Shuugo invites the rain to shut the fuck up as he herds his starting setter to the sofa. Atsumu has been going through it for a while now. They all know this, the way they know he talks to his twin on Zoom some nights because he doesn’t care for private user information and what happens to his. However, no one mentions it because unlike Bokuto, Atsumu has discovered the wall socket in his room, and decided to use it.

“Shouyou’s asleep,” Atsumu explains and for the hundredth time or maybe the thousandth, he doesn’t think numbers are real anymore, Shuugo marvels at how tenderly he says Shouyou’s name. If someone had said his name like that when he was twenty-three Shuugo would have driven off immediately and bought them a ring or challenged them to a Beyblade fight. He wonders if Shouyou will do either of those things one day. If he’ll get the chance to.

Shuugo hums. The star of the lodge, beyond the brick kiln with the unidentifiable bones and the thirty-eight succulents, is the chandelier hanging from the vaulted ceiling. Usually it’s bright as ass but it’s raining outside today and it’s four, so they’ve got the lighting mode set to Orange And Moody. Which, Shuugo gathers, seems to be the correct setting.

Atsumu opens his mouth, still wrapped up in the giant pink quilt that he probably stole from the hidden walk-in closet. “I’m being an asshole right now, aren’t I?” he asks, uncharacteristically quiet.

“Not right now right now, if that’s what you’re talking about—”

“—Meian-san.” Atsumu is unimpressed and he shows it too much. If he wants to look unimpressed he should look dimly unimpressed or at most vaguely unimpressed, or he’ll come off as being over-invested in the whole affair. Granted, the kid’s always been bad at handling his emotions. But this is a moment of what Shuugo recognizes to be shaky vulnerability. Even for Miya Atsumu.

Shuugo smiles. “Yeah?”

“That’s not funny.” Atsumu sinks further into the sofa, vanishing between two very large floral cushions.

No, Shuugo has half a mind to say. You’re not very funny. I try not to tell you that because Sakusa says it enough for all of us but really, most of your jokes suck.

“Well,” Shuugo says instead, thoughtful. “What does being an asshole mean to you?”

“Uh. An inconvenience?”

“What does the current situation look like to you?”

“An inconvenience?”

Shuugo claps his hands together and then winces in very quick succession. If he’s judging this right then there’s a high chance Inunaki’s still awake thinking about the Izakaya they went to last December, and Bokuto might still be in the attic. He should stop.

“That’s right,” says Shuugo, not stopping. “If being an asshole is about being an inconvenience then the whole world’s being inconvenienced right now. In general. Does this look like optimal functioning to you?” He gestures broadly around him and hopes that Atsumu doesn’t think he’s pointing at the thirty-eight succulents.

“Because it isn’t. Everyone’s tired, Atsumu. Everyone wants things to start getting better.

“So given that we’re basically living in the asshole of the universe right now, I don’t think you’re being an asshole. Do I wish you’d stop listening to Old Town Road while doing the dishes? Yes. But do I wish Thomas and Inunaki would stop pretending they never want to see each other’s faces again off-court like the two main leads in a Korean drama? Yes. Do I wish I were at home right now in Tokyo with Mai and Kenta and Kohki? Of course.

“But no one gives a damn about what I want in the asshole of the universe. So no one gives a damn about you either.” Shuugo reaches for his sake. “What I’m trying to say is: buy your switch.”

He takes a sip of his sparkling fuji apple sake thing. He’s good at holding his liquor but the alcohol’s loosened his tongue and the rain isn’t letting up and it’s late or it’s early, depending on who you ask. Depending on who you are, and what you’re afraid of. He wonders if Atsumu’s still thinking about the thirty-eight succulents. The thirty-ninth has been missing for a few weeks now. No one knows for how long exactly. Time, remember?

Atsumu furrows his brows. He seems to be thinking very intently about something. Shuugo hopes it’s the fate of the universe.

“So, the Animal Crossing edition,” he says slowly, the color returning to his cheeks. “Do you think I should get that one?”

Around them the rain continues to fall. Every once in a while a bolt of lightning comes within an arm’s breadth of their tiny sanctuary away from the world and the toilet paper shortages and all the suffering and cruelty and unfairness. It lands at their feet. Light erupts from the ground like a star splitting in half and sticks to their faces, their hands, their teeth. For half a second, the interior of the lodge turns so white, it almost blinds them.

Shuugo wakes up at five in the evening on the sofa. His toes aren’t frozen solid the way they were the last time he fell asleep on the sofa. He sits up. Something pink and fluffy slides off his chest.

Inunaki is yelling at Thomas from the second floor. They’ve made an error in the toilet paper calculations, or someone’s used up all eight rolls in a week, or both. Inunaki’s disappointed and upset and he wants to get out of the bathroom. And he wants to talk about the Izakaya incident. And he wants a peach purunto.

Shuugo scrubs the heel of his hand down his face. He stretches his arms over his head. Then he rolls off the sofa with the quilt still drawn tight around his shoulders like a cape. And so begins another day in the life of Meian Shuugo, father and husband and professional volleyball player, and motivational speaker, and friend.

A conversation between Shouyou and Atsumu, as overheard by Bokuto who was taking a really big dump in (Sakusa’s bathroom) (but don’t tell him that) (no one tell Sakusa anything no really I will sic my ghost on you):

(Shouyou, I have something to tell you.)

(Let me guess. You ordered the switch.)

(Huh????? How the fuck do you know I ordered the switch.)

(You talked to Meian-san, didn’t you?)

(What the fuck. Are you telepathic?)

(No, Atsumu. I’m your boyfriend.)

A conversation between Thomas and Inunaki, as overheard by Atsumu who was hiding from his demons in (Sakusa’s bathroom) (who the fuck owns a bathroom anyway) (this is a communal household) (I am not hiding from my demons I am engaged in an act of civil protest):

(Inunaki-san.)

(I know you’re not the one who finished all the peach purunto.)

(Oh. Okay.)

In a surprising twist of events Sakusa has not only brought enough moisturizing face masks to last him until the second coming of Christ, but also stashed a metric fuckton of toilet paper in his second bathroom.

“I knew you would disappoint us some day,” he says neutrally to Thomas, who goes off to cry in front of the barbecue pit for twenty minutes.

“It was partially my fault too,” Shuugo says, feeling apologetic for some reason.

Sakusa watches Thomas go with the face of a merciless, unsmiling god. “But mainly his.”

In spite of the hornet's nest he tried to bring back in the first week, Sakusa consents to the public use of his second bathroom. He deletes the contract he made Atsumu sign that had previously prevented him from legally entering, but refuses to let them port the twenty-four toilet paper rolls jammed under his sink to any of the other bathrooms. It’s a personal thing, he says while peeling his third milk honey face mask of the day off with his fingertips. Who are they to complain? It’s his toilet paper.

Regardless, the toilet paper doesn’t grant him immunity from Meian Shuugo, who despite his stunning alcohol consumption record is in fact still the parental supervision figure in this household. This gives Shuugo certain rights such as the right to walk into rooms without knocking, though he’s decided to stop doing that and become a better person, and the right to use the barbecue pit after ten. Also, if he says they’re going to have a Ghibli movie night, they’re going to have a Ghibli movie night.

They have the Ghibli movie night. On Sunday. Or Friday. Or whatever. Whatever. They have it.

When Shuugo was a kid his family would sit on their ugly living room couch and watch Ghibli movies together instead of working through their disagreements with transparency and care. This is partially why Shuugo was not a kid for as long as most kids, but he can tell you exactly which scene comes after the fat cat in The Cat Returns gets stuck in the giant vat of pink Jell-o. He can also tell you, with full confidence, that Ghibli movies will do things to you. What kind of things, you ask? Does it matter?

Once again, they head into the hidden walk-in closet on the third floor and return with piles of blankets, quilts, and a bag of Calbee chips without an expiry date. On the way out Shuugo notices shuffling from above him and discovers, for the first and hopefully last time in his life, Bokuto Koutarou in the attic having a serious conversation with an owl.

“His name is Aka,” says Bokuto.

“Very sly of you,” says Shuugo. “I’m not going to ask why there’s an owl up here.”

“He only visits sometimes.”

“Okay. Great.”

Bokuto follows him downstairs. Shuugo picks a feather out of his hair and wonders if this is what zookeepers feel like. They collect Sakusa from his bedroom after peeling off twelve honey-and-lavender face masks, and make a stop at Thomas' room. The door creaks open after a few seconds and Inunaki sticks his head out. His hair is tousled and his eyes are puffy.

“What do you want,” he says.

“We’re having a movie night.” Shuugo resists the urge to pat his head. He may be turning thirty this year but sometimes he feels like he’s eighty-five and everyone else on his team is four and he has to do something to make sure they grow up right.

Inunaki follows him and Sakusa and Bokuto down the stairs and Thomas sneaks out of the room afterwards when he thinks no one is looking. They are actually all looking and rightfully so, seeing as it is Thomas’ room they just stopped by and Inunaki should not have been there at all. But no one says anything. Thomas tip-toes down the stairs in all his Boeing 377 glory. Inunaki goes to the fridge.

Shouyou and Atsumu have returned from the hidden walk-in closet and have started building a fort in front of the projector screen. The process consists of Atsumu lying face-down on the floor, motionless, while Shouyou throws things with a hardness rating of less than five at him: a blanket, a stuffed Pikachu, a bolster.

“What movie are we starting with,” Atsumu asks.

Shuugo salutes him from the kitchen even though Atsumu can’t see him. “Princess Mononoke.”

Atsumu lifts his head for a moment and stares past the floor-to-ceiling window to the other side of the world, where he is having the time of his life in Florence.

“Good,” he says. Then Shouyou throws a slightly larger stuffed Pikachu at him, and he disappears from sight.

In Atsumu’s words, everything sucks like fucking shit. In Sakusa’s words, everything’s piss-awful. In Thomas' words everything is sort of unbearable and in Inunaki’s words where is the peach purunto. In Bokuto’s words Akaashi the shounen manga editor is more stressed than the entirety of Japan combined and needs some time to himself. In Shuugo’s words, ew. Ew, ew, ew.

“Ew,” Atsumu says when the mountain god’s head gets decapitated and the screen fills up with the blue liquid-y stuff that mountain gods are apparently made of. Inunaki gives him a look that’s so utterly and completely disgusted that Atsumu excuses himself from being Shouyou’s armrest and stands up.

“You wanna fight, Inunaki-san? You wanna fight?”

Inunaki does not detach himself from Thomas’ cashmere sweater. “No.”

“Atsumu, I can’t see the screen,” Shouyou says sleepily, and Atsumu’s expression does a one-eighty off a cliff and dies.

“Oh. Sorry.”

It’s three in the morning by the time they get to the fifth movie. Or is it six? Shuugo decides it doesn’t matter and then pulls a fast one on all of them by putting in Grave of the Fireflies which, Sakusa complains, is too dry for this time of the year. In spite of that, Sakusa is the only one who manages to watch it from start to finish, his eyes glued to the screen while he files his nails discreetly in his corner of the sofa. Beside him Inunaki has fallen asleep against Thomas’ shoulder and Thomas has fallen asleep against the headrest, Sakusa having pushed him gingerly off of him half an hour ago. Bokuto is snoring loudly with his face in Inunaki’s armpit. Beside Bokuto Atsumu is asleep with his head in Shouyou’s lap, and Shouyou is mumbling something incoherently about rice.

Meian Shuugo reaches for the remote control and turns the projector off.

“You should go to sleep too,” he tells Sakusa. He reaches for the blankets and begins to drape them carefully over the sofa in criss-crossing patterns.

Sakusa yawns. “When do you think this will end.”

Shuugo shrugs. “Eventually.”

Sakusa inclines his head, then stands up and stretches. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.” He collects his belongings from the coffee table and goes to the kitchen for water.

“No, thank you for the toilet paper.”

“Self-preservation skills. You learn them early on in life when you’re me.”

They stop having the Animal Crossing Debate because Atsumu’s switch arrives next week, delivered by a courier in an inflatable T-Rex costume who says he’s here on god’s business. But they keep going with the whiteboard and the six p.m. discussions and everyone jammed up on the big sofa in the living room. It still doesn’t feel like a living room and the lodge still feels like a castle, complete with ghosts and unidentifiable bones and the ouija board Sakusa’s smuggled away to his room. But when they roll up all the curtains, the floor-to-ceiling windows start communicating with god or something, and the sun does a cool break-and-enter routine that ends in fireworks. Everything it touches goes up in flames. It’s kind of beautiful.

“Today’s question.” Thomas raps the whiteboard they stole from the hidden walk-in closet weakly. “Should we have spaghetti for dinner?”

Atsumu looks up from his switch, and Shouyou follows. “Did you read my tweet?”

“Atsumu. I follow you on Twitter.”

“Oh.” Atsumu looks back down at his switch. On Shouyou’s insistence he’s recently downloaded Kirby Star Allies. He is surprisingly into it.

Inunaki raises his hand. “Objection your honor,” he says. “I don’t think we should have spaghetti for dinner because it sucks.”

Thomas makes a face at him. It doesn’t really work because he’s six-foot-seven and wearing a Victorian suit he found in the hidden walk-in closet, but apparently it works for Inunaki, who repeats, with more conviction, “it sucks.”

“It does not suck,” Thomas insists. He begins to lean against the whiteboard in an unconscious bid to look like he’s not emotionally affected by Inunaki’s words.

“Can we have rice,” Sakusa says. “We’re Japanese.”

“I’m not Japanese.”

“You’re Inunaki’s boyfriend. Honorary Japanese.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Sure it is,” says Bokuto, who is back to texting Akaashi for the time being instead of calling him on Skype. He now carries a power bank and a cable with him everywhere. To the bathroom. To the barbecue pit. To the woods.

“Why don’t we have both?” Shouyou suggests. Shouyou is the literal and metaphorical light of their lives right now, although Sakusa would be hard-pressed to admit it unless they gave him another bathroom. Shouyou also comes up with some of the most god-awful ideas sometimes. Like inviting everyone to a lodge in the mountains during the off-season and getting them trapped in a major historical event. Like trying to live each day to the best of his ability as if he’s Rapunzel from Disney’s Tangled and not twenty-three and severely, inhumanely sleep-deprived. He still wakes up at five-thirty every morning. Shuugo asked him about it once. He said he needed the time to meditate.

“Why don’t you just meditate later?” Shuugo went on, hanging over the back of the sofa and watching Shouyou channel his inner Buddha of peace for something like the third time that week. The sun had not yet risen but it was beginning to put in efforts towards it. A thin strip of gold ran horizontally between the land and the sky, dividing them in jagged and uneven strokes.

“It’s not the same,” Shouyou said, exhaling through his mouth, eyes closed. Shuugo wondered briefly if he was bothering him, then figured that Shouyou would tell him if he was.

“I need to be awake each morning to make sure the world’s still there. To say good morning.”

Shuugo picked idly at the upholstery. “What happens if you aren’t there?”

“Who knows,” Shouyou laughed, brilliantly and confidently, and in that moment Shuugo understood for the first time in his life how he alone had not succumbed to the timeless insanity of quarantine. Perhaps in another life Shouyou had been born tall and powerful and with the kind of instinct and skill that Kageyama Tobio carried around on his shoulders all day. In this one, he had seen the second coming of Christ once already, and built himself a new skin in its wake.

It was the routines. The morning meditation and the rolled eggs and the five-hour-nap in Atsumu’s room. The evening runs through the woods and the card games at night. It was Atsumu’s Animal Crossing Debate and the chaos that always followed, the chaos that generally followed the MSBY Black Jackals everywhere they went, as if they had been born into incredulity and outrageousness and passion. Passion for their sport. Passion for life itself.

They aren’t professional adults. No one ever becomes a professional adult. They try to be professional siblings and children and lovers, professional commuters and pastry chefs and shopping cart pushers. They try to leave their suburban neighborhoods and the boys they never get to see again behind. They try to be kind to themselves, even as the world begins to slide resolutely off a cliff.

And they fail. And everything sucks. And everything’s sort of unbearable right now. Even Sakusa has stopped checking his phone religiously. They’d rather watch Grave of the Fireflies ten more times than put on NHK news.

So ew. Ew at the present state of the universe. Ew at Shuugo’s hair. Ew at the amount of money Atsumu spent on his Animal Crossing switch which came with a tempered glass screen protector and the Animal Crossing pouch and the Animal Crossing: New Horizons game and a laminated mini-poster of Raymond.

And fine. Because what else can they do now but shut up and keep going? If there’s a God up there he’s definitely laughing at them with his hands full of nail clippers and clean surgical masks and health, cash, all the forgiveness the world needs right now. He’s probably making coffee as they run themselves into the ground, as they run their rivers dry.

So everything’s been going to shit for a while now. You’d think they’d get used to it, but they still haven’t. Which is to say that they’re still angry enough to fall in love and expect something to happen. Which is to say that they haven't given up on their dream of finding a ghost in the hidden walk-in closet. Which is to say that, in spite of the toilet paper shortages and the hornet's nest and the weepy sake parties, all the fucking weepy sake parties, there’s hope.

Are you sure you’ll be okay?

(The sound of rain, laughter, a ball hitting the ground.)

Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.

16 notes · View notes

megatentious · 6 years

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My lengthy defense of the most hated Persona game

Here’s my grand defense for the most hated game in the series: Persona 1, AKA Revelations: Persona. I know it’s too late to try and rehabilitate the game’s reputation on the internet, but I’m hoping that by rambling in modestly structured form for a bit, at least some folks might be able to look at Persona with a fresh perspective. It would be cool if everyone could try to understand what the game did so well and why it resonated so strongly with me and 2 or so other people. If you are the kind of person that thinks games age and become archaic, then I probably don’t have any hope of reaching you, but still, try to put yourself in the right mindset and approach the game on its own terms, and maybe you’ll discover something quite special.

So, Persona. Persona does very interesting things with choice. As the first Megaten rpg released in America, the negotiation system was a revelation (har har), providing the choice to talk your way out of battles and into rewards is a natural D&D element that never got a foothold in countless videogame conversions of the game, and in the first Persona these elements are at their peak. With every demon having four moods, four series of animation and four sets of voiced sound effects, the expanded options really let you get into the headspace of the demons you’re conversing with, unlike traditional SMT’s more spare binary system. Getting into the thick of things with complex sets of reactions (Joy + Interest, that’s what’s up) makes for a fun simulation.

The theme of choice is also really built into the game’s fabric, it’s the reason why in old usenet postings, Persona was recommended to folks who were fans of Gold Box games, during a time when RPG labels were more porous and that sneaky “J” hadn’t yet latched itself omnipresently to the term. Choice here also extends to the fifth character in your party, a friendly way to promote replay value without new game plus, and certain choices locking you out of giant chunks of the game, an unfriendly way of getting you through the game again. In a world though where developers are desperate to ensure that gamers experience all content (so many buzzwords!), the chutzpah of Persona being willing to lock you out of huge swathes of the game is something I actually admire.

It’s easy to underestimate the impact of the modern day setting in a post Persona 3/TWEWY/Alpha Protocol world, but dungeons that were hospitals and police stations and high school students snarling “EAT THIS” with MIGs in pitched street battles felt revelatory. Exploring the comically low-rent polygonal city (is this another reference to the abstracted icons of SMT1 and 2 world maps?) was actually fun, as ridiculous as waiting for traffic to pass might seem. There are also many complaints about the first person perspective dungeons, even though the rest of the game is third person, but the setting variety is nice and many of the wall patterns are quite evocative (Deva Yuga looks like Persepolis!)

The game also does PSX-era philosophizing in a tasteful and generally thoughtful way, while contemporaries were drawing from Evangelion, Persona looked to Zhuangzi and Jung. Not very high-falutin, true, but at least middle brow enough such that my 14 year old Sophie’s World reading self was entranced. The game has something neat to say about loneliness and identity and the way we construct the world around ourselves (all hinted at in the moody intro. The story is very nice and very Kaneko, even if he’s overestimating the literary quality in this interview, I’m very fond of it and it is my franchise favorite.

Here’s where I alienate the remaining people who might have been on board with me so far: if you ignore the loss of the Snow Queen Quest, a 20 hour alternate version of the story that takes place in a series of SMT:If... like towers, Revelations: Persona is actually the superior game. “Lunarvale,” a hodgepodge of America and Japan cobbled together by localizers attempting to mask the game’s origins, is actually more weird and interesting than the Mikage-cho that appears in Persona PSP. This bizarre mashup, combined with a nonsense translation attempt, somehow manages to better fit the lurid dreamscape vibe the original developers were going for. I can’t undersell how one-of-a-kind and wonderfully unsettling the game’s atmosphere is in the PSX version, and this is helped along of course by the sound.

Here are excerpts from some things I wrote on the music in this game:

Revelations: Persona has the best soundtrack in the franchise, possibly the best soundtrack ever made. In raw quantitative terms it's ridiculous, 113 songs and 3 hours of music without being looped, and all without doing Persona 2's trick of repeated (but still awesome!) remixes. Two majorly sweet leitmotifs for the two major quests, employed creatively and thoughtfully, four fantastic composers on four discs, cohesive and thematically coherent when by all rights it should feel disjointed as fuck, this is a generous OST!

Hidehito Aoki (R.I.P.) composed the dungeon music, which is exquisite. Lengthy songs that are moody, elegant, just plain beautiful and get you PUMPED! The iconic Deva Yuga Monochrome: School Revisited Dream-like, synthy, catchy, beautiful, quintessential Persona sound. Pandora's Den (Deepmost Area): The climax at 1:12! Ice Castle/Black Snow The twists and turns in this one, so effing good. Sebek Music, Karma Palace 90's music is the best!!! Misaki Okibe's range is ridiculous, she composed some of the most memorable, interesting tracks in the whole game. Reverse Dream World: You think you have this song figured out in the first few seconds, but stick around to see where it suddenly veers off to around :30, hilarious and awesome. Theme of Nemurin's Love: The intro! The power of a simple lovely melody, a little Uematsu-esque. Augustia's Wood: The save music, so memorable, I love the grumbling. City 2 Accident: Do you remember wandering the streets in the town, disoriented, listening to this gorgeousness, thinking about how Lunarvale suddenly seemed so scary, like an unsettling dream? Bar Attacked by Harem Queen: A bit of jazzy beauty. And most important of all of course, Misaki Okibe is the composer of the Pharmacy Music, featuring vocals by one Hidehito Aoki of all people. Satomi Tadashi Drugstore Song In our heads forever, teaching us about item use since 1996.

More alienating for readers who have gotten this far: the “whitewashing” character designs were all improvements, Kazuma Kaneko redrew everything himself and it’s easy to tell that a lot of thought was put into the redesigns. Finally, Mark is also >>>> Masao, everyone’s always yelling about the jive-talking but to me he came across as quite smart and savvy. I dunno, maybe this is just a Flavor of Love/Outsourced minorities just wanna see themselves effect operating here, leave me alone you guys! So yes, the franchise’s current fanbase might not be fond of them, but the cast is comprised of characters that are meant to be iconic and not friends you wish you had in real life, a cast that, FFVI-like, is meant to evoke broader themes and not follow the typical arcs of many RPGs these days. Check out the classiness of Yuki’s design, and allow me to quote some more stuff on how Tsuchiya, master of the character theme, nails it for each party member.

The sign of a good character theme is when you can extrapolate from instrument choice and melody to personality. Here Tsuchiya is the man, no one does it better this side of Uematsu. I hear these songs and I've got a perfect picture in my mind of each cast member. It's what I think of when I think of "videogame music" ha, here are my personal favorites, I could listen to these endlessly. Mary/Maki: Cheerful, just a hint of melancholy in the notes, love that slap bass. Yuki: Starts a bit slow, but soon we learn that Yuki's cool but determined. Alana: The song tells me she's brassy, energetic, fun. Chris/Reiji: Dangerous, exciting, a bad-ass delinquent. Ellen/Elly: Classy, elegant, confident.

Some also rag on the dungeon design, but it seems unfair to expect centerpiece labyrinths along the lines of Strange Journey or Etrian Odyssey in a game going for something completely different. Nevertheless, you’ve got tricky mazes with dead ends that test resource allocation skills and provide a sense of accomplishment. Encounters are tough and require thought, careful consideration of when to flee and negotiate is imperative for dungeon survival. This is something that gets lost a bit in the PSP remake as the encounter rate is increased but battles are a bit easier. Exploiting elemental weaknesses isn’t as elegant as in later games, but with a ludicrously high 14 damage types breadth supersedes depth. And there’s even a positioning system to consider that the developers decided to drop from later games rather than refine. In the end, surviving the dungeon and beating the boss is an RPG staple that just plain works, although yes you will probably grit your teeth at some of the loading times.

And finally, you don’t have to take my random word for it. Parish really liked it too! How’s that for an appeal to authority?

For series buffs, it’s fun to trace this game’s historical lineage, as one of the earlier spinoffs of Shin Megami Tensei, it's easy to spot the mainline series influence: the occultism of the opening ritual, the hospital as first dungeon, the first person perspective for dungeon travel, BLUE POINTER MAN, and the omnipresent danger of demons in town and dungeon alike. Revelations: Persona is drawing from a rich and storied history, but manages to recast SMT traditions in interesting new directions. Again, the atmosphere is really unbelievable and something I haven’t come across in other games. It’s more than a simple curiosity and it doesn’t deserve dumb dismissal or sneering derision for its flaws. Revelations: Persona is a real marvel, modern games ought to draw more inspiration from its lessons, and the game belongs in the RPG canon, there I said it!

#persona #revelations persona #persona 1 #unjustly maligned

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serinemolecule · 7 years

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How to credit card

Using a credit card is like paying with cash, except you also get free money and other benefits.

"But Serine, there's no such thing as a free lunch! [1] Where does the money come from?"

I'm glad you asked. When you buy something with cash, the seller gets 100% of what you pay. When you use a credit card, the seller gets around 97% of what you pay, and the credit card company gets the other 3%. [2] The credit card company is of course very willing to give you money and other benefits if you let them have that 3%. [3]

Sellers are willing to give up 3% because handling credit cards is so much easier than cash. You don't have to count change, and you have a computer record of who paid how much, so it's easy to figure out who's lying when the customer said they paid. Not to mention it eliminates the problem of cashiers stealing money by pocketing customers' money [4]. Also not to mention the store wants the customer to be happy (happy customers spend more) (customers hate having to pay a fee to use a credit card).

Anyway, in the general case, credit cards are basically always a good thing, and you should basically always use them. [5] So I’m going to teach you how to pick one!

When not to credit card

If you are irresponsible with money, and are afraid you will spend more money than you have, you should not use a credit card. If you have good reasons not to want a bank account, you probably don’t want a credit card for similar reasons.

Never carry a balance on a credit card (pay off less than the total amount you owe every month), it piles up and ruins your life. You should spend money on getting things you want, not on paying off interest.

“Forgetting to pay” is never a concern. All modern credit cards have an auto-pay feature to take money from a bank account. As long as you don’t spend more money than is in your bank account, you don’t have to worry about accidentally going into debt.

What benefits you get from using credit cards

Most credit cards will give you 1%-2% cash back (for each dollar you spend, you get a certain percentage back in free money).

Basically all credit cards give you the ability to chargeback. This means that if some business steals your money (charges you more than you owe, etc) and you can prove it, you can call the credit card company and tell them to take your money back. Note that this is a last resort (only to be used after you contact the business and they don't give you your money back), and will generally result in the business completely cutting off contact with you (for instance, if you chargeback Steam, you'll lose access to all your Steam games etc).

Credit cards also act as a short-term loan. If you ever need a payday loan, a credit card will give you significantly less interest than an actual payday loan. You never want a credit card as a long-term loan (the rates are horrible), but they actually give you close to the best possible rate for a loan of a few days. Just remember that debt is evil and never to fall into it.

Other benefits vary wildly and are specific to the card, but common benefits include various forms of insurance (car insurance on any rental car you rent with the credit card, warranty on anything you buy, etc).

Which card to get

It's actually really easy to choose a credit card. If you're in the US, here is Serine's One-Step Guide:

Do you spend more than $2500 per year in travel (hotels, flights, Ubers, etc) and restaurants, and do you have the free time to screw around with flyer miles?

• No ➡ Get the Citi DoubleCash

• Yes ➡ Get the Chase Sapphire Reserve

In some extremely obscure situations, you might want other cards, but I'll cover those after I cover these two cards.

The Citi DoubleCash

The Citi DoubleCash has no yearly fee, and gives you 2% cash back, effectively. This makes it better in every way than most other cards.

Some cards give 1% cash back and a rotating 5% category. They will give you a headache trying to optimize them and you will still get less money back compared to the Citi DoubleCash, in the end.

Some cards give you points that you can spend using a complicated procedure, which will be worth approximately 2% if you can spend them perfectly. Just use the Citi DoubleCash, and skip the complicated procedure.

The Chase Sapphire Reserve

The Chase Sapphire Reserve has a $550 yearly fee, and gives a huge number of benefits that are totally worth it if you spend a decent amount of money. Also it looks really cool because it's metal and black. [6]

It comes with $300 of travel credit per year, which you can blow through in, like, a single flight, or like a few days of hotel, or like a normal amount of Ubering (anyone who's even considering this card should have no problem spending that much). So the yearly fee is effectively $250.

It gives you 3 points per dollar on travel and restaurants, and 1 point per dollar on anything else. "Points" can and should be converted to frequent flyer miles, at which point they're worth 2-4 cents each if you put them towards international flights, especially international first-class flights.

It also comes with a pile of side-benefits, like free Priority Pass membership (gives access to a bunch of airport lounges), free TSA Global Entry (lets you basically skip airport security and customs), free DoorDash DashPass, free Lyft Pink, and a lot of other exclusive discounts.

Assuming you spend enough and you're willing to spend the effort optimizing flyer miles, it basically pays for itself and the other benefits are free. If you don’t want to optimize flyer miles, the other redemption options are worth 1¢/point or less, and you’d be better off with the Citi DoubleCash.

Honorable Mention: The AmEx Platinum

I know I didn’t mention the AmEx Platinum at all, but if you have lots of money and want the best benefits on a card (or you take a lot of flights), the AmEx Platinum is probably the card for you.

The AmEx Platinum costs $550 per year, and is a luxury card pretty similar to the Chase Sapphire Reserve. Its biggest advantage is that it has much better airport lounge coverage in the US.

Priority Pass (which comes with both the Chase and the AmEx) gives you lounge access for most international flights, but the AmEx Platinum also gives you lounge access for US domestic flights.

It gives 5 points/dollar for airfare and AmEx Travel hotel purchases, and 1 point/dollar for other purchases, and its points can also be turned into flyer miles.

Other advantages include Gold membership status at Hilton, Marriott, Starwood, and Ritz-Carlton hotels. Mostly this means usually-free late-checkout, and, like, free bottled water sometimes.

Instead of the $300 travel credit, though, the Platinum has a $200 airline fee credit (abusable to buy gift cards) and a $200 Uber credit (spread out across 12 months, so hard to maximize unless you use Uber all the time). It’s harder to max these out, but if you do, it’s effectively $150/year.

Overall, the main reason you’d actually want the Platinum over the Sapphire Reserve is if you fly a lot in the US and really want the additional airport lounges.

Extremely obscure situations

So the most common one is: If you have a ton of free time and spend a decent amount of money, you might be interested in churning. I don't really want anything to do with churning so you're going to have to learn how to do it from someone else (google it, I guess).

If you travel internationally, be aware that the Citi DoubleCash has a foreign transaction fee. It's still worth it (2%, which is still less than the fee you'll be charged by most money exchangers – Wells Fargo takes like 5%), but it's also not very hard to just get a credit card that doesn't have that fee. The Amazon Prime card and the Costco credit card are good options (these two are pretty good cards to have in general, honestly; they have no yearly fee and a few specific uses, just don't use them as your main card because they don't have the 2% base rate the DoubleCash has).

If you have a lot of very specific foreign transactions you need to make that isn’t just taking vacations internationally, the Capital One Quicksilver has 1.5% cash back and no foreign transaction cost (the Amazon and Costco cards are better for travel).

That's it

I haven't actually taught you how to spend money wisely (maybe that'll be a different post), but at least you can get more value out of the money you do spend now.

There aren’t links to any of these credit cards because I don’t want to get accused of earning money through affiliate links or something. You can find all of them on Google.

[1] In a way, there's no such thing as a free lunch, but in a way, there totally is. Like, think about breathing (but not too hard – I don't want you to start manually breathing – ...I'm sorry). There are some minor trade-offs (you have to use energy) and situations where you shouldn't (do not breathe while underwater unless you have special equipment) but overall, it's basically always correct to choose "breathing" over "not breathing".

[2] The 3%ish is split kind of complicatedly, in terms of who gets what. The credit card company definitely gets most of it, though.

[3] And also to get your late payment fees and interest and stuff, but honestly, credit card rewards come out of the processing fee.

[4] It's easiest for cashiers to steal money if you're selling something hard to track, like french fries. A cashier can give a customer some french fries, pocket the customer's money, and the store owner would never know. This is why a lot of fast food places say "free food if we don't give you a receipt". The receipt makes sure the cashier gives the store owner the money.

[5] Some stores don't accept credit cards. These are very very rare in the US, and mostly restricted to, like, certain vending machines, and tiny stores that hate the 3% transaction fee. Also, a lot of service workers prefer you to tip in cash, because that makes tax evasion easier (it's up to you whether you consider this a good thing or a bad thing).

[6] People who’ve seen mine have totally thought it’s "the black card" because it’s black and metallic (it's not, it’s a lot easier to get than the actual AmEx Centurion).

#how to money #credit cards

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god-hunter · 4 years

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Party’s Over

Sorta...

I was depressed for a whole week after that last bout of 2 flakes in a row from The Bailer. I legit wanted to do nothing all week. Not even put on fun stuff to watch. That’s not like me. I wasn’t owning my Awesome. I wasn’t feeling Awesome at all...

Needy Girl has been there for me on FB and she’s come over here and there. We’re working on a Puzzle now as sort of a time-passer, OT sort of thing... And we do bang, but it’s different. I think she understands that I’m in a place right now and that I’m really hurt.

What’s crazier is that I’m more annoyed than anything about The Bailer, but what’s really hurting me still is all that stuff that happened with the Goth Mom, which was over a Month ago at this point! I’ve been Emotionally Flip Flopping. Back and Forth between I Deserve Better, and What the Hell Happened?

And if that wasn’t enough... the Federal Help of the extra $600 a week ran out this weekend.. Today was my first day of claiming Normal Unemployment and it’s trash. I can not live on that alone. I knew this day was coming, but I thought I had more time... I knew Unemployment was ending in September. I didn’t know Federal Aid would end in July...

So I tried getting my act together by applying to a bunch of places. I know better than to get excited when I hear my application was viewed twice or even 3 times. [Thanks Ziprecruiter..]. They were responsible for my last job, and I’m grateful, but now I have to be picky. I won’t be able to afford Rent or COBRA on what they used to pay me. Even if my old job took me back and COBRA went away, I’d still barely be making Rent. I have a bunch in savings, so I won’t have to worry about starving for a while. Still. I don’t want to slowly deplete them for the rest of the year. And the next job I want to be worth while.

This time really sucks. Gone is the working out for fun to pass the time. Gone are the video games. Gone is the entertainment... I still have all day for any of these things, but my responsibility to building a sustainable life for myself is more important right now. I can’t apply all day. Sometimes not even an hour a day. Other times, I can look for 2-3 hours. It really depends on my motivation and how desperate, panicked or maybe even delusionally confident I’m getting.

I’ve also been doing a lot of Self Work and realizing that I’m not so perfect. I’m a Catch and the World should fucking know it. But at the same time... these 2 girls hurt me so bad over not wanting to see me. And I shouldn’t be that hurt by it, even if they are no good cunts. I don’t want to write them off yet. But I have to be High Value. I can’t keep chasing them. If they want to talk to me, they gotta talk to me.

Goth Mom stopped talking to me, because she’s got to work on herself. I made the smallest effort to compliment her new tattoo on Social Media and then sent her a random link to a video the next day. We had a tiny conversation that fizzled out almost immediately. I took that as a hint that she wasn’t interested in me anymore. Meanwhile, I get insider information that her responding at all was her trying again. Well...? She wasn't Actually talking at all! The extent of her conversation was, “I’m at my Aunt’s right now. Little man is with my Dad.” Oh cool, man. I told her that it’s good that she gets a break to do her for a little while, and she said Noooooooothhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. So what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Message weekly or in 2 weeks to check up? It’s Her fucking turn, man.

Same goes for The Bailer. I gave her a whole fucking week, because she Fucked Up. I didn’t try at all. And then she actually did reach out, while I was doing some Self Work, which I’ll explain in a second. Even under no pressure, this girl takes 10 minutes to respond to every text, because she wants to thoughtfully think out and calculate every move and word... And after a few interactions, she continues to leave me hanging. So I’m done, dude.

Again, it’s her turn. The latest development is her mentioning how stressed she is that her best friend is hurting and that she can’t be there for her in person since they live far away. I mentioned something about her being able to vent to me whenever she wanted and that I’m a good listener. I got nothing in return. So what the fuck ever, dude.

As for the Self-Work... I used to keep a Diary since I was a kid. I kept up with it, honestly until my last relationship. Obviously not every day, or not even every year. But during important eras and chapters, I would keep up with it.

Well... I missed out on a very important chapter and decided that it’s high time to catch up on it. So this Self Work is interesting.

While I still have time in this Pandemic, and while I’m not feeling so hot about all the impending changes, I decided that I’m gonna take on this project. I’ll update everything year by year, from the 5 year relationship. Learn and Remember how things used to be, how much things have changed, and maybe I can pinpoint what went wrong in the relationship, and identify what I will and will not stand for in the future. And maybe even, how I can better myself for the next girl.

For now, for sure, I know that when meeting someone Completely New, I need to just be upfront. I don’t want a relationship. But I don’t want to fuck around. I want to see where it goes. It just needs to be slow and steady. Not head first, lightning fast. Which is exactly what Needy Girl wants. Her shit isn’t even together, but I feel like I’m already in a Relationship with her. And that is a Red Flag.

When my Life changes, maybe I can look at that differently. But I need to get out of the Scarcity Mindset. Again, Tinder is doing nothing for me, but showing me beautiful Women that don’t swipe right in return.

One friend reminded me that this is a scary time where people aren’t acting normal. Anxiety is through the roof with people that never had it. So for the people that Do, not unlike myself, I should give them a little more credit. A lot of people aren't really in the dating mindset right now.

And again, that really fucking sucks. But I too, need to slow it down and just focus on myself. It’s the hardest thing to be happy when nothing is going on. And I don’t want to settle with a FuckBuddy. I really don’t...

So that’s what I need to work on.

I need to find my new normal with a better job now. And that’s going to hurt me at first, but hopefully propel me into a better mindset in the future. Maybe I’ll even meet a new girl at work or something. Who the fuck knows...?

The Future isn’t written yet, but before I completely move forward, I still want to know if the door fully closed on that Goth Mom. We barely started to create something that one night. And despite all her baggage with a kid and shitty ex that won’t go away... For some reason I still think it’s worth a shot. But is it just the idea of her that I’m into?? I just want an honest shot at getting to know her better. But she won’t let me in! And I can’t force it or pry that open. So that’s what sucks. She’s a fucking Quitter on herself. And maybe that’s what she needs to work on.

But that’s what got me thinking, that now our needs have kind of aligned. I realized that I need to work on myself too. Which brings me right back to when we stopped talking in the first place. Are we not friends?? Can we not talk about the things we’re working on about ourselves with each other???

Maybe that’s what we both need? And maybe we could build from there. But for now, I just don’t know. And the more these days go by, the less and less I think it’s worth it.

#Party's Over #Pandemic #Unemployment #Life Changes #Dating #Relationships #Self Help

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filmmakerssn · 7 years

Link

The one question we, as well as every photo/video related site, get is “What Camera Should I Buy?” I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out how to answer that question but maybe the best approach is to walk through how I decided to buy our new camera.

VIDEO

Now I knew that I needed to make the transition to 4K (yeah, I know I’m a little late to the game). Although I still plan on delivering 1080 for most projects for the foreseeable future, there are just a lot of advantages to 4K acquisition that cannot be denied.

About a year ago I decided to rent a Sony AR7 II. I had heard so much about these second generation Sony cameras and wanted to get a feel for the different brand as I was still shooting on my trusty Canon 5D Mk II. Well I figured out that if I rented the camera on Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I would only be charged for 2 days rental even though I wouldn’t have to return the camera till the following Monday (6 days).

One of the photos from my Sony AR7 mk II photoshoot

Although I mainly used it to shoot stills, this was my first foray into shooting 4K motion picture (outside of a GoPro or something like that). I liked the 4K imagery but frankly I just wasn’t too impressed with the way the camera felt in my hands. As a photo camera it was okay but for video I prefer a lot more tactile control on the camera itself – instead of having everything buried in a menu.

A few months past (and now we’re in March) and I got a call to shoot thank you video (a greenscreen documentary) honoring a patron of a regional playhouse. I had been doing a lot of greenscreen documentaries, renting a Blackmagic Pocket Camera as a second close up camera to my BMCC which captured the master shot. For this project, why not just rent a single camera that could shoot 4K and get my master and closeup just by reframing the shot in post?

I went to LensProToGo.com for my rental – I found that not only did they have the best selection of video cameras – they also had a great deal going on at the time. Now this is long before they became a sponsor of ours. Since I had always been partial to Sony, I started with the FS5 – and got for a very reasonable price and shipped directly to my office.

I completed the project with the FS5 and was really impressed by the beast. The FS5 when stripped completely down is incredibly tiny while still having a terrific feel to it. To me this kind of modular design is a pretty important thing. There are some rare times where I may want to deck out a camera and, but there are probably even more times when I just want everything really nice and compact. Another grand slam for the FS5 was it’s variable ND filter – you could actually adjust the strength of the ND filter smoothly up and down. That was some next level wizard stuff right there!

But… and he’s what I just didn’t like about the FS5… the 4K codec was brutal on my computer. It bogged down Premiere so much I really had to master in 1080 to get decent playback. It wasn’t that my computer was that outdated, it was just a very difficult codec to deal with.

A few more months pass (now we’re in July) and I get a call for another greenscreen documentary, this time on a research center for Alzheimer’s – time to try out another camera: the Blackmagic Ursa Mini Pro.

The Ursa Mini Pro felt like Blackmagic at least moving in the right direction in terms of the feel of their cameras. I hate the button layout on the Cinema Camera and frankly wasn’t impressed with the layout on the Ursa when I looked at it at NAB. But the Ursa Mini Pro finally looked a real “big boy camera”.

Again I order it from LensProToGo. It arrived, as all their cameras do, in a hard Pelican case and really well shipped. On the whole the Ursa Mini Pro is an impressive camera – Since I was shooting hours of footage I opted for shooting ProRes Proxy to conserve space (worked just fine for greenscreen as talking heads had very little movement), the files played perfectly fine on my computer. I also really like the ability to shoot all kinds of flavors of ProRes… even overshooting to 4.6K but I wasn’t really able to do much with that as I didn’t rent CFast cards to save on the rental.

But… the dang thing was a tank. LIke literally a tank. Where as the Sony FS5 felt nimble like a roadster, the Ursa Mini felt like driving a school bus. It was just too heavy. I couldn’t imagine putting it on a gimbal or jib. Even the viewfinder was stiff – it took a bit of muscle just to pry it open.

Almost a week after we wrapped on the the Alzheimer shoot, I get another call to do a greenscreen piece for an Autism Center. The Canon C200 had just come out I ordered the last on that LensProToGo had in stock.

Like the Sony, the Canon C200 had a great tactile feel. It wasn’t as small and nimble as the FS5 but it was still a good modular design. I’m still a bit confused with how the viewfinder is suppose to close when in storage (actually I think you’re suppose to pop off the assembly).

Now I’ll be honest, when I first saw the footage on my laptop as I was transferring files off the card I was a bit underwhelmed. Something didn’t quite look right. It wasn’t bad, maybe something weird with the saturation… but something trivial enough that I thought could be fixed in post.

When I got the files on my main editing machine and started to key out the green, I shocked to find that the quality of the images was AMAZING. What jumped out immediate was the skin tone – after apply just a minimal amount of Red Giant Cosmo, the skin tone had a warmth and softness that just felt right. That C200 did something special – I don’t know exactly what, but everybody’s skin looked absolutely amazing.

The other two MAJOR bonus points for the C200 was the 4K MP4 format it recorded to was robust, played well with my computer, and wasn’t a total space hog (good for documentary work) and the you had the option for a

Unfortunately the Canon C200 was also the most expensive camera that I ended up testing. Months went by until I was just browsing the prices of these cameras and saw that Canon was offering a Financing deal that let me pay it off over 3 years. Well now it suddenly made financial sense for me and I pulled the trigger.

Axel the Rabbit approves

If you are looking to buy or upgrade your camera – you really need utilize a site like LensProToGo.com to do your homework and test the cameras you want to buy first (They became a sponsor after I had rented all these cameras and paid for them out of my own pocket – or at least out of my budgets for these greenscreen documentaries).

I think people can get overly obsessed with spec sheets and camera reviews. As someone that has done camera reviews I can tell you they have a bit of value in determining the “gotcha’s” of a particular camera system but the footage from them is mostly bunk. The shots you see in a camera review aren’t a testimony to the camera but rather to talents of the photographer themselves. I’ve also stayed far away from the toxic camera flame wars – especially in regards to Canon (so much hate…)

The most important thing to determining if a camera is a fit FOR YOU is to rent on and try it out on a PROJECT. Not just a series of tests that don’t reflect your workflow – but put it through the paces on an actual project. And don’t be afraid to take your time. I started this process of camera testing 8 months ago, it’s okay to take your time.

Now I know that the cameras might be cost prohibitive to many of my readers. But LensProToGo does rent a wide variety of camera bodies where you’ll find something that fits your budget. And if you’re doing industrials, you can always work these rentals into your projects.

And of course, they don’t just carry camera bodies, you can rent lenses, lighting, and all manner of accessories.

Ultimately using LensProToGo gives you flexibility and options. Need a second camera? Rent one. Got a big client and need the best camera money can buy… well don’t buy… rent one! (here’s a secret – big Hollywood movies don’t buy cameras – they rent them!)

When LensProToGo came onboard as a sponsor, I was ecstatic. I would have written this post with or without their sponsorship. Please take a look at their service as a thanks for supporting the kind of content we create here.

I came up in my career with the notion that I couldn’t rent gear because I wasn’t close enough to a rental facility to make it work. But with the freedom and flexibility that a service like LensProToGo offers, well anything really is possible.

via FilmmakerIQ.com

#filmmakers #registi #autori #news

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ledenews · 5 years

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Keeping It in the Clifford Family

Hey Coach Clifford, are you enjoying your “retirement” away from basketball? I am. I really am. What did you do Sunday? Went by the school and watched the seventh grade practice and got involved a little bit. How about over the weekend? Friday, I went to watch Justin's game out in Cadiz and Saturday I caught Ryan's at home. Tell me about retirement “away” from basketball again? Kim Clifford resigned his post as the St. Clairsville head boys' basketball coach in April 2018 following 27 successful season at the Red Devils' helm. That followed stints as head coach at Cadiz and assistant coach at his alma mater, Bellaire. Apparently, after 43 years of coaching, handing in your whistle is far easier than staying away from the game entirely. “My youngest son (Kurt) coaches the 8th grade and I went over to the practice to hang around,” Kim said. “I go to all the junior high games. It's something to do and I'd rather watch that than TV.” Coach Kim finished with 461 wins for his career, 371 of which came at St. Clairsville as he took a struggling program and turned it into an Eastern Ohio and OVAC power. He left it in good hands as his eldest son Ryan followed in his father's footsteps and accepted the position shortly thereafter. After first playing for his dad in the mid-1990s and then assisting him for 17 seasons, calling it a dream job for the younger Clifford might be underselling it. “When I was younger, I looked at other places a bit, but I knew it would have to be the perfect situation to get me to leave,” Ryan said. “This is my home and my alma mater. This is where I wanted to be.” Justin Clifford, the middle of the three Clifford boys, served as an assistant under his dad after playing both at St. Clairsville and at Muskingum University. He assisted as long as he could, but when a position at nearby Harrison Central opened, along with a coveted teaching job to go with it, Justin had to jump at the opportunity. “I needed a job. I'm sure mom and dad got tired of paying for everything,” Justin said with a laugh, noting that he had been substitute teaching for around five years before headed up Ohio Route 9 to Cadiz. Justin served as an assistant before briefly taking the top job for the girls' team. The boys' coach left soon after and Clifford opted to run the boys' team while Nick Yourkovich took over the girls. He's in his 11th season coaching the Huskies.

Kim Clifford was a very successful basketball coach in St. Clairsville. Basketball is Family; Family is Basketball Not that Coach Kim needed any additional reasons to find his way back inside a gymnasium, but the chance to watch your sons continue the family coaching legacy certainly helped. Nor is he ever the only Clifford in the room. Clifford hit the wife lottery when he married Penny. She attended every game he coached, from freshman level at Bellaire until his final game in 2018. Being a devoted wife and mother is one thing, but that's A LOT of basketball. “Everyone says they retire to spend more time with family, but I don't think my wife missed a game since 1976,” he said. “She went to everyone. “I got to coach my sons, and now I can watch them and with grandkids coming along, we get to watch them too.” Admittedly he spends more time at St. Clairsville games than Harrison. To be fair, Kim is still a teacher at the high school. “He's in a tough spot. He has our kids in his class, so he has that connection more so than with (Harrison's),” Ryan said. “But don't let him fool you. His closet has plenty of Husky gear. He still has a lot of friends out there.”

St. Clairsville head coach Ryan Clifford celebrates after his team scores another bucket during a run against Harrison Central. Passing the Torch After nearly 30 years, Coach Kim felt it was time to move on. He still loved basketball, the camaraderie with his players, but hours and hours of daily dedication required to operate at a high level finally become too much. “I just didn't think it was fair to everyone to keep going without the energy level that you need,” Kim said. “I still love basketball, but I couldn't do it with the same vigor, the daily grind, as I used to. “Plus, Ryan was waiting patiently, Justin had gotten a job, and it was just a good time and situation for everyone.” Both sons have taken what they learned both as players and assistants under their father and incorporated it into their own programs. Naturally, they've also worked to put their own stamp as well. “You try to put your own little spin on things, and you adapt to your players and personnel,” Justin said. “But the biggest thing I took from him was how to run the program, (and) the importance of the relationships you build with the kids.” “It's been a good transition,” Ryan added. “Maybe our philosophy on offense is a little different at times, but when you work with someone for as long as we did, you inevitably pick things up.” Justin admitted that even after 11 years, he and his father still talk shop after every game, discussing about what went right and suggestions on what to work on. But what about 500? When Coach Kim retired, he was 39 games away from the coveted 500-win mark. Given his string of success that's likely 2-3 seasons tops if he were to return to the bench. Justin admitted that he's even hinted on occasion of getting his dad to come be his assistant, but both he and Ryan know that Kim returning to be a head coach is not likely to happen. “I've been hinting at it now and again, but he obviously retired for a reason,” Justin said. “That stuff doesn't matter to him. One of the biggest things I learned from him are more wins than losses are nice, but you do it for the relationships and for the right reasons. “He never brought up (his record) or talked about it.” Ryan was in agreement, also noting that, “honestly he could have gotten those wins a long time ago, but he always tried to schedule big games and play really good teams.”

Former St. Clairsville head coach Kim Clifford (grey shirt) takes in his son Ryan's game against Union Local. Enjoying Retirement No, the win total will stay at 471 and the whistle will stay hung up. Kim is enjoying his retirement from coaching, spending time with this grandkids, helping his sons when asked and overall enjoying the game, but on his terms. Soon after his retirement, Ryan, Justin and Kurt all banded together to get their father a proper sendoff befitting his years of dedication. The trio surprised their parents with an all-expenses paid trip to the 2019 Rose Bowl to watch Ohio State defeat Washington, 28-23. Kim and his wife flew into Las Vegas, rented a Ford Mustang convertible and drove from Vegas, through the desert and into Pasadena. It was quite the memory. “They got us the airplane tickets, the hotel, the whole nine yards,” Kim said. “We couldn't have done that when I was coaching, and it was pretty special of them to do it. They don't have that money to spend, but they did it anyway.” They did so because they too came to learn the value family, perhaps the most important lesson of all. It proved they, in fact, were listening. As a parent, what more could you ask for? Read the full article

#Cadiz

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evanvanness · 5 years

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Week in Ethereum News, Dec 15, 2019 annotated edition

Full Week in Ethereum News for Dec 15. This is the annotated edition:

Eth1

Latest core devs call. Notes. Lots of EIP1559 (fee market change) discussion now that it has been implemented. Decided to go forward with EIP2384 for Muir Glacier, anyone can propose changes afterwards. Also lots of talk about 1962 precompile calls.

Update your clients for the Muir Glacier fork in early January. Geth, Nethermind, Besu all are ready. Parity, Aleth are coming.

Piper Merriam on the 4 steps to an eth1 stateless client network

Background on eth1 very long-term sustainability problems and options

Annotations: EIP1559 is a big deal. It locks ETH in as part of the protocol and eliminates the possibility of economic abstraction [economic abstraction was heavily discussed in 2016 and if I recall correctly was pushed by Gavin] which would destroy ETH’s value. If ETH had no value, then the amount of things that Ethereum can do drops by magnitudes. We’ll have EIP1559 in eth2, and we may be getting it sooner rather than later in eth1. While I have some reservations (ie, really cheap transactions will go away), on balance it is a good idea.

The Muir Glacier fork is also coming. I’ve noticed quite a bit of pushback in the community about how the difficulty increase (sometimes called the “Ice Age” or “The Bomb”) is being pushed back 4 years with no reduction in issuance. Personally I think we are overpaying for security, but any issuance reduction should be mild (in fact, I had a proposal to do so in exchange for progpow and funding public goods!) and based on sound analysis, not “yeah, it’s December (which tends to be a bad month in capital markets) and the price is down so....wah.” 4 years is also too long in my opinion, but the conspiracy theorists seem to forget that the actual pull request came from Eric Conner, known as one of the main proponents of #ETHismoney, among other things. They should do their own pull request if they want a different parameter.

Meanwhile, Piper’s post on what is engineering and what is research on the way to an eth1 network of stateless clients is definitely a mustread. The idea of keeping eth1 around for years is a worthy insurance policy in case there any implementation hiccups in phase 2, though I don’t anticipate we will need to keep eth1 around so long.

Eth2

Lighthouse public testnet, v0.1, the “first with a mainnet configuration”

phase 0 spec v0.9.3

Notes from the last light client call

Undertanding eth2 staking deposits

Aditya Asgaonkar explores cross shard communication

Editorial note: ignore any fake news about launch date changing.

Annotations: The launch date isn’t changing, despite Justin’s love for crypto launch anniversaries. It’s still scheduled for q1, though I don’t expect it until late in q1. Of course, this is a software deadline and we’re still 3.5 months out, so it could slip, but I remain optimistic.

Lighthouse, among others, has done an amazing amount of work, and they launched their Rust client this week. I haven’t run it yet,

Meanwhile, Jim Mcdonald is doing a centralized Eth2 staking service and has had some good content marketing lately - this one on understanding the deposits, as well as the recent one on understanding effective balance. Others should up their game!

Layer2

Celer light client SDK, runs in the browser

Annotations: Celer continues to work. Otherwise a layer2 light week, obviously.

Stuff for developers

Solidity v0.5.14, defaults to Istanbul, SMT/ewasm updates

Remix IDE v0.9.2

Ethcode v0.8, now supports Vyper. available in VScode

Deep dive into eip1167 minimal proxy contract

0age: the more minimal proxy

Automated deploy to ENS and IPFS

Steve Marx: destroying the indestructible registry

Blocknative’s onboard.js to easily support many wallets

Runtime Verification: K vs Coq as language verification frameworks

Annotations: Interesting to see the posts written about minimal proxy contracts lately. Not sure what has prompted that. I probably should have noted in this section that the Remix update included a Quorum plugin, though I noted that below.

Ecosystem

Can Ethereum rollups beat Visa’s 2000 transactions per second? Iden3’s analysis of post-Istanbul Ethereum throughput limits with rollup.

How Infura manages nodes with VIPnode

Parity’s update on grant progress: 75% of grant paid based on milestones

Networking: Waku spec v0.2 and Whiteblock’s no tag back gossiping

Annotations: You like how I faked you out with Betteridge’s Law of Headlines? (Betteridge’s Law: the answer to any question in a title is no.) But the answer is yes. Rollup chains aren’t live yet, but they will be in 2020. And they’re a sort of half layer 1, half layer 2 arrangement, though I often put them in layer 2 in the newsletter. That’s because data goes onchain (ie, on eth1, ie on layer 1) but there’s a rollup chain that does all the transaction execution off chain. ZK rollups provide validity proofs that the transactions are correct. Optimistic rollup provides crypto economic validity that the transactions are correct - that is, if anyone submits an improper transaction, you slash their bond and take their money for cheating.

Parity’s update was apparently the shot before today’s post saying that they’re quitting Ethereum. Disappointing but not surprising, that they are going to work on their in-house Polkadot product instead. If we’re being honest: their client has been in mainenance mode already.

Networking: I'm excited to see Dean and Oskar do great work making Whisper into more than something that is barely a proof of concept, so this should be a good thing for Ethereum.

Enterprise

Nike files a patent application for tokenized shoes on Ethereum and breeding them, a la Cryptokitties

BancoSantander repurchased and cancelled the bond mainnet, of September 10th, 2019 issuance date. “This unequivocally proves that a debt security can be managed through its full lifecycle on a blockchain”

“Seize the day: public blockchain is on the horizon” Forrester/EY enterprise survey says 75% will use public chains (read: Ethereum) in the future

Paul Brody op-ed: If you build a blockchain, will anyone come? “Public blockchains like Ethereum offer a better choice for enterprise users”

Quorum plugin for Remix

Hyperledger Besu v1.3.7 – critical fix for mainnet users, muir glacier compatible

Annotations: Enterprise sure looks like an Ethereum moat, doesn’t it? As I tweeted out today, EY’s Paul Brody said on Reddit something I 100% agree with. “there is much more headroom in 1.x than most people think. I just gave an internal talk this morning about how so many people misunderstand scalability and that most of that talk about Eth is just fear mongering by the private blockchain crowd.”

Nike’s patent application is written to be purposely ambiguous as to whether it is blockchain agnostic (it’s a patent application, the whole point is to reserve the right to sue someone!) but also leaves little doubt that it’s on Ethereum right now.

And of course, BancoSantander continues to drive mainnet use forward. Innovators in this space for years now.

Governance and standards

Extending MolochDAO’s features: TheLAO, Moloch and MetaCartel to standardize for venture-style investments and accommodation of security token standard

Maker’s governance security module puts a 24 hour delay on all governance decisions. This was in response to Micah Zoltu’s “how to turn 20m into 340m in 15 seconds.” The 0 delay was explicitly a tradeoff as MCD launched to ensure that Maker could respond nimbly to any problems.

Vocdoni: an app for anonymous, onchain voting

Annotations: Keep an eye on Vocdoni. It’s built by Catalans, and while they haven’t talked about it much, it seems clear they’re building tools that they wish to use in their own quest for the right to self-determination.

It’ll be interesting to see if the governance security module passes or not. At the moment, it has not, because after Micah’s article, a bunch of people voted their MKR in favor of the status quo (to up the amount needed to execute Micah’s attack). I imagine it will, but I believe there are many within the ranks of Maker holders who believe that the 0 delay is still a good idea.

Application layer

Sablier is live on mainnet, continuous streaming money

Synthetix inflation changed to exponential decay in the inflation rate with a 2.5% terminal rate

Set Protocol integrates Compound’s cTokens so sets earn interest

RealT’s first property sells out

Undercollateralized lending as next DeFi trend?

Kong.cash releases their whitepaper. As seen at Devcon, Kong is physical crypto cash

Annotations: Sablier is such an interesting primitive. Stream money by the second to someone. Imagine paying your rent or payroll or salary that way.

Synthetix keeps moving, you have to admire their pace of execution. They seem to be considering adding ETH as collateral in their system, which makes it much more interesting to me - though all crypto is pretty correlated these days.

Kong is super cool. I am definitely keeping a hold of my KONG from devcon. Just be careful not to fold it, as I hear that can break the circuits.

Set keeps shipping interesting stuff. Love the idea of a trading Strat that either holds ETH or puts it into cDAI/cUSD. And undercollateralized lending seems like something that will happen, whether it be Union or Trustlines or one of the other ideas. I’m also quite pumped about RealT, it just sucks that they can’t offer it more seamlessly. If they could, I think the demand would be high.

Tokens / Business / Regulation

SEC charges fraudulent ICO

Saga goes live on mainnet with an algorithmic version of the IMF’s SDR

ING is planning to get into crypto custody

ConsenSys Activate’s standards for token launches

Annotations: Nobel winner Myron Scholes advises Saga. That’s just such a clickbait title that I refuse to use it. I’m also quite skeptical that anyone wants SDRs. I got much more bullish when they switched from SDRs to USD.

ING getting into crypto custody. Fidelity made some noise about supporting ETH too. Even in cryptowinter, this stuff looks like it is here to stay.

General

Speeding up verification of groth16 batches

Simple explanation of circuits and zero knowledge proofs

A comprehensive primer on recursive SNARKs

“design a circuit construction protocol (such as used in TOR) that is 1) non-interactive, 2) immediate forward-secret, and 3) requires only O(n) message exchanges”

Filecoin launches testnet

Using reinforcement learning to model selfish mining incentives

Will quantum supremacy affect blockchain?

Annotations: Filecoin launches a Testnet. Oddly, I have yet to hear from anyone who has tried it.

Lots of crypto stuff. I’m not a cryptographer, so I sometimes feel a bit lost and should probably spend more time in the crypto books. I like the explanations, it’s great to see that blockchains have really given zero knowledge in particular a boost. ZK stuff is the future of this industry.

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geekgrrlriot · 8 years

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Depression

I’m still trying to get myself out of this funk and get motivated to create. It’s not going very well. I’m making progress with getting regular housework done, but even that isn’t easy and some days are better than others.

I’ve been doing a bit of work here and there on various blog posts I’d like to do. I think I have some solid ideas for things I could write well about, but I just can’t get myself to actually do the work.

I need to get away. I need to recharge. Reconnect with myself. Find my passion and figure out how to make it grow. I need a routine. See, this is my problem. I know what I need to do. I just can’t make myself do it. Any of it.

I think part of my problem, is most of my life, I’ve had people forcing me to do things, whether it was just stuff I didn’t want to do, but they wanted me to do it, or stuff I needed to do and should have been taught to just do, I was screamed at and forced to do everything. I was even forced to do a lot of things I shouldn’t have been doing at my age. Like responsibilities that aren’t meant to be a teenager’s. I think I just got so tired of it, that now I can’t make myself do things because I don’t have someone forcing me. I love how messed up I am and I get it’s my responsibility to accept how I am and change what I can and should, but shit. I didn’t make me this way. It’s super hard to change. Especially, when people don’t really want to help you. They want you to change. They promise they’ll help, but they just get mad that you’re not changing fast enough. Well, 30 some years of dealing with something or just doing something at all is sort of a hard habit to break, no matter how much you know it’s not healthy or hate that you do it, sometimes it’s just fucking impossible to stop.

I’m rambling. That’s ok, though. That’s going to happen from time to time. This is sort of my thinking out loud place. First of all, most people don’t like me actually thinking out loud. For some reason, that’s really annoying to EVERYONE. *shrug Sometimes, it feels like my existence is annoying to everyone, too.* And second, I do a much better job communicating how I actually feel and what I actually think, when it’s written. I think it has something to do with being a visual learner. I learn better, by seeing something done, or reading the instructions myself. It’s weirdly hard for me to retain anything that’s just said to me. I really need to see it in writing if I’m going to commit it to memory.

I don’t even know what my point was with this post, today. I think I mostly just needed to write. I really need to make myself write every day. I’ve not been successful with that yet. But, I will say, I have been writing more. Hell, writing at all is more than I have written in years and I’ve started a blog, written a few entries, started work on a few others, have started working on a few scifi stories, have done, I think, 6 lessons in that writing class online, I’m taking, and although I only wrote one entry, I DID start a personal journal.

Part of my problem is I can’t write unless I’m alone or surrounded by strangers. *It’s weird and I might get into this later, but it’s too much for my intentions, today. * And so, i can’t write when A- is here. I’ve tried going into another room. I don’t know just having him in the house is distracting. Also, I can’t really do much writing by hand, anymore. I’ve been okay, taking notes in my moleskin, when I’m out and about and something comes to me that I have to jot down, but with the arthritis and carpel tunnel, my hands get very numb and sore. I can’t just sit and write by hand like I used to. That is super frustrating. I’ve never really been able to sit and create while staring at a computer screen. So, that’s something else I’m trying to learn today. It’s another thing, I think that’s making all this difficult.

But, I’d say the biggest reason is, I’ve been in this low grade depression for awhile now and I just figured it out. I’m hoping when the warm weather is here to stay, that will help knock me out of this. I know part of it is how brutally bleak and somber the winters look around here. Also, the fact that I moved back to my home town, where most of my triggers are, is a huge contributing factor to my depression. I’m really trying hard to work through all of this. My boyfriend wants to live here. He wants me to be happy here. I can live here with him, but I don’t know that I can be completely happy here. This town and my family do things to me. I hate that about me. I’m pretty sure, my boyfriend, hates that about me, as well. I try, for his sake, for my sake. It’s not easy and I don’t know how successful, I’ve been. He’s not as communicative as he insists I be. I don’t always know what he’s thinking or what he wants from me. Sometimes, it feels like he expects me to be perfect. He won’t ask me to marry him, because he’s got some sort of test, he mentioned early on in our relationship, that I just don’t seem to pass. I’m apparently the relationship to measure all other relationships and he knows what a good thing he has, *all according to him* but, I’ve still got too much baggage to marry, I guess. His baggage is fine, I’m supposed to just live with it, but I have to work on eliminating mine. I’m pretty sure, that’s not exactly what he means, but that’s what it feels like. When we first started dating, he told me his issues. These were things I had to deal with. If not, those were deal breakers. He’d been burned too many times. I agreed and have never once bitched about his picky eating, the fact that all he does is play video games and doesn’t like to go do things, or that he doesn’t want to spend his life working so he has a part time job delivering pizza so he has free time to work on his relationship. I’d love to be able to cook more adventurous foods. I’d love to do more in the evening then us each on our respective computers playing different video games or watching different videos on Youtube. I’d love to go to coffee shops together, or hiking, or picnics or just take trips, be he doesn’t want to do any of that and I don’t nag and rarely ask him to do anything. I’d also love to not have to bear the weight my financial stresses alone. He does pay the bills, and it’s true I quit my full time job with benefits. But, I’ve still got rent taken care of and I pay for all the household expenses on my minimum wage, part time pay from the theater. *That’s tough. I’m under a lot of pressure, to get another job and do some side hustles to make more money so we can start saving again. It’s true I was out of work for 5 months and took my time finding a new job. But, he told me I could, encouraged me to do it and then got mad at me. *I know it’s far more complicated than this. I’m just writing about how this makes me feel* I was paying rent before I quit my job. I’m still covering rent. He had to help with household expenses for a few months, but I’ve got that covered again. But, I don’t want to spend my life working, either. I hated working at G-. I was so miserable. I thought the depression would leave after I quit and it did. But, then it came back, after A- got mad at me because my eBay business wasn’t taking off and I hadn’t found a part time job, yet. It seems like I’m always disappointing him and nothing I do seems to live up to his expectations. It’s clear I’m not what he wanted. It’s really starting to feel like he “settled” for me. I don’t want to be that girl. I want to be wanted and adored and found beautiful. I just don’t feel that. I’m not sure, I ever did from him. I’ve told him about being sad that he never tells me I’m pretty or that I look nice unless I ask him. I’m not so shallow that I think looks are important and I want to be valued more for my mind than my looks, but I still want to be found attractive. He seriously never says it. He never says I’m pretty. And he rarely says I look nice unless I ask him how I look. The only time’s he’s ever said anything that seemed genuine was after a fight, where I brought it up. He’s said I’m pretty and he does find me attractive and then after the fight maybe a day or too later, he’ll say it out of the blue, or while we’re having sex and then, that’s it. I’m expected, to make more sexual advances and initiate it more, it’s kinda hard to want to when you don’t think your partner even wants you to. It’s only gotten worse with his issue with my weight and that’s a whole other thing, that I may or may not get into on here. I’m already going to work feeling worse then when I started this thing.

*sigh* Maybe this will prove to be therapeutic. That’s the idea. It just doesn’t feel that way, right now. :/

I’ve rambled enough. I’m off to get ready for work.

-geekgrrlriot

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xxx-startupcreditcard-com · 5 years

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Business Credit Cards Explained

hey guys it's a passion from a Sebby and today we're gonna talk about everything you wanted to know about business credit cards but first if you are new here we're all about how to maximize the value of your credit cards so basically how to get the most cash back and also how to travel for free if that sounds interesting than subscribe to our channel but let's get started so I've talked about business credit cards in the past before and I still keep getting the same questions over and over so I figured I'd make a video discussing these exact questions and again anything else you'd probably have questions about anyways the first thing we're gonna talk about is applying for these business credit cards so for most of them assuming that you're applying for business cards and not corporate cards so we're gonna talk about corporate cards towards the end of the video for business cards they're still going to be looking at your social security number even if they ask you for the ein they're still going to ask you for your social so again it's going to be a hard inquiry and depending on other factors and depending on who you're applying with their rules are going to affect you so for example if you're personally over five twenty four and you apply for a business card even if you're using your EIN they're going to ask for the SSN meaning that you're not going to be able to get certain cards at the chasing preferred card another thing to consider is that of most business cards you're going to be personally liable whenever you apply for a credit card there's a bunch of terms most people don't really read these but again if you look at them directly and actually read it you're going to see that you're personally liable this means that if you have a credit card and again if the company defaults you can't really file bankruptcy to run away from this debt one of the really big benefits of having a business is that you don't have personal liability but again if credit cards you do still have that personal liability on a similar note if you issue employees cards then you're going to be liable for any transactions as well so hopefully you have enough internal controls just to make sure that there isn't any fraudulent transactions and again obviously if there is a fraudulent transaction what you can choose to basically sue the person or charge them but you really don't want to go through that process and again I think it's better to be preventative rather than have to deal with the consequences given everything that we just talked about what's the point of having these business credit cards they sound pretty bad and they sound pretty dangerous so the main benefit is that it typically have different categories compared to personal cards sometimes different benefits as well meaning that you can really out misers spend for example cards at the chasing cash card give you 5x and points back and office supply stores as well as well for cable bill and also your phone bills another reason people pursue these cards is because some of them do have really great sign up bonuses so again if you really want to maximize the return under spend for a big purchase this is a really good way to do it for example if you look at a card like the Chase Sapphire Preferred and even the reserve you're getting 50,000 points after $4,000 a minimum spend of the chase a preferred card you're getting 80,000 points so 30,000 points more for only $1000 more in spend so five thousands that are four thousand one thing I answered in Prior videos that they still get a lot of questions about is who is eligible for a business card the one thing a lot of people don't seem to realize is that businesses come in all shapes and forms so again yes you have the corporations yes you have other pass-through entities but you also have sole proprietorships a sole proprietorship is basically when you're operating as yourself providing a service so whether I am Sebastian fund plumbing or Sebastian funk photography or maybe Sebastian from consulting or computer development that would be considered a sole proprietorship depending on what state you're in there was different requirements for what you need in order to get a bank accounts or in order to get a credit card as a sole proprietor in California for example as long as you're operating under your own name and you actually don't need any additional paperwork another thing to consider - of business card applications is that even if you have zero dollars in income you can still get approved for a card I've had friends who are thinking about starting sole proprietorships mostly doing side hustles on the side doing software development and they've been able to get cards saying that they're either getting zero revenue are based off what they expect to make which is probably between 10 to 20,000 dollars once you get approved for this credit card what transactions can you use it for so technically you can use it on everything but based off the terms you're only supposed to use it towards business expenses obviously this gets a bit more confusing especially if you are a sole proprietor just because there's kind of a weird line between personal and business for example let's say I had a youtube channel that only did gaming and then deriving income from that meaning that I have to pay taxes and again if I don't have another corporation then it's going to be a sole proprietorship if I buy a Nintendo switch and I play games on and I also play games on my own time that's unrelated to that Channel then is it still a business expense so again it really just depends it's kind of a great line to me at least as long as it's justifiable so if there is some way at all that you can defend it then I think it's fun even though they do have it in the terms one thing I do a lot is obviously research data points and research other people's experiences typically on forums and I've never heard of anyone getting their account shut down because they made purchases that were not business expenses the biggest risk of using your card for non-business expenses isn't really shut down it said you lose consumer protections whenever you apply for a new card or if you do a product change then you're probably going to get one of these guides and again they go through a lot of the benefits you have as well as the protections the main risk in my opinion is really Black Swan offense so these are unlikely events that can have a very negative effect on your life a really good example of this is if you rent a car and again you use your business card and you're hoping to rely on the protections for the CTW and again maybe you do have an accident which isn't really expected because you don't typically get into accidents and if they look back at it and they're like hey when you rented this car was it for a business exercise was it for maybe going to a job or doing something or was it personal and again I'm not really sure who the onus is on but I really wouldn't put yourself in a position where again if you can't prove that it was a business expense you might be out at CDW benefit meaning that you might be paying twenty thousand dollars of your total a car another commonly asked question I get is what effect two business cards have on your personal credit report for the most part they don't really have that much of an effect so typically they only negatively affect your accounts and not positively again we have utilization we have payment history to our Kotori marks average age of accounts total accounts and credit inquiries for most business cards they do not show up as utilization so again that might be really good for you or it might be really bad depending on how you use your credit if you're someone who keeps that balance on their card that it typically does make a lot of sense to keep it on the business card just because it's not going to show up as a really bad utilization amount compared to using it on a personal card for the payment history again most business cards will not show your positive effects meaning that all the good payments that you do that you pay off your accounts will not we be counted on the other hand though - raaga Tori marks are affected this means that if you default on your accounts it's going to show up in your personal report average age of accounts and total accounts also are typically not affected but inquiries are just because again you're taking that hard inquiry in order to get this account a lot of people actually use business cards as a way to stay under five twenty-four since they don't show up under total accounts everything I just said applies to Chase applies to Amex applies to most of the major issuers the only issuer that it does not affect so the one that posts to your credit report is Capital One this means that if you get a Capital One business card it's gonna show up on your report as a total account it's gonna show all the payments and all the other stuff so again it might be good for you it might be bad it really just depends on your circumstances the final thing we're going to talk about is corporate cards so these are targeted more towards big companies rather than small companies if you get a job at IBM Deloitte or any other big company if you do have expenses they typically issue you one of these cards and they encourage you to use it in order to qualify for corporate cards you typically need a corporation and you also need to submit three years of financial statements sometimes they also ask you for a tax returns just to validate information as well each Bank has their own requirement but I typically want to see that you're making a lot of money and that you have a lot of transactions my guess is that they assign you an Account Manager and again they want to make sure that they're getting positive expected value if we play with Amex as tool we can kind of see what they're looking for and again the open cards are the ones we talked about earlier so they're the business cards that we typically talk about for most people I don't really think you need to worry about corporate cards unless you run a big corporation then that might be helpful but for the most part most people watching this probably don't fall into this situation on a side note if you are looking to apply for any business cards and you want to support our channel we do have links on our site it really helped us out so hope it was helpful and let me know if you have any questions my question for you guys is do you have a business credit card which one let me know in the comments down below if you like this video give it a thumbs up it really helps us out and if you know anyone else who'd benefit from what we just talked about feel free to share this video with them because it's probably going to help them out but otherwise hope you guys liked it see us next time

https://youtu.be/kV7ZrezfTs0

#start up credit card

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awindowintothisworld · 5 years

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May 4th, 2019 - Saturday

I’ve never been very good with introductions, but here we go. This is going to be the start of my personal blog, where I’ll be documenting my life as kind of like a digital journal. I do have a physical one that I keep, but I’ve been having a hard time hand-writing stuff down, so I figured a digital one will be better since I can type better than I can write. As far as names and places go, I will censor for just in case something were to happen with the privacy settings. I’ll write them down somewhere so that I can remember what names I gave everyone, since I have the memory of a sad goldfish. (I’ll go back and make double-check to make sure everything is secure. This blog is not for anyone but myself.)

So where to begin? Maybe a little bit more about myself or should I just go right into what’s been going on? I suppose for the sake of posterity, I’ll go ahead and give a little bit of background about myself. My name is Alissa Mead, born to Carl and Penny Mead. I was born on February 3rd, 1993 in Utah and grew up most of my life in Kaysville, a once very small suburban town in Utah that’s grown exponentially over the years I’ve lived there. It wasn’t until about two or three years ago that we started to experience heavy traffic on main street. Though there is a lot I tend to complain about my little hometown, I have to admit that it’s a pretty neat little place to live, mostly because the architecture still has that “old-timey” vibe. I’ll post a couple of really cool old black-and-white photos I found off of google. It’s weird to see how much it’s changed since 1913, what was dated on one of the photos I’ve found. I actually only just found out too that Kaysville was settled back in 1868. That’s cool.

Anyway, I come from a fairly large family. We have 8 in total, including me and my parents. I have three sisters and two brothers, the oldest being Amber, and the rest, in order being Ryan, Ashley, Me, Quetin, and Alaina. I grew up in a little home, about 1,000 square feet, just a couple blocks away from main street. It’s a little brick home with three bedrooms and one bathroom. It sounds crazy that we managed to cram 8 people into that little box, but we did it and I feel like we all turned out okay. Most of my siblings are moved out and have families, minus me and my little brother, Quetin. Amber has married a funny and large man by the name of Jason and have five kids, four of them being twins. You have Abby and Own, (twins,) Oliver, and then Ira and Elis, (who are also twins.) They’re all very social and very hilarious kids. They’re not afraid to speak their minds and ask you endless amounts of questions. They’re quite the handful, so I commend Amber and her husband for being able to handle them on the daily. I do love them though.

Ryan is married to a cute Latina girl names Candice. We don’t see them much, and as much as I hate to say it, I don’t mind that. Ryan has always left a foul taste in everyone’s mouth, since he doesn’t exactly have the best track record with anyone in my family. He’s managed to fuck everyone over in some way or another. From maxing out every credit card my mom had ever owned, to stealing Amber’s social security and ruining her credit score badly enough that it took her years to bounce back from it, and stealing nearly $2,000 from me because I stupidly let him have access to my bank account when I willing helped him out with buying a birthday present for his little girl, Maylee, who was born from another marriage before he and his first were divorced, due to Ryan’s bad habits and compulsive lying. However, that didn’t mean his first wife wasn’t just as scummy. Actually, no. Whitney wasn’t a bad person, her mother was. But that will perhaps be another tale for another day, since it’s a rather long one. Anyway, how Ryan managed to keep from being thrown into jail will always be a mystery to me, but because of all the shit he has pulled, everyone has been very careful as to what they say and bring to family events we know he is going to. It may be surprising to a lot of people, but we’ve never excommunicated him from our family. Why? Because he’s family, regardless of what he’s done. I still call him my brother, but that doesn’t mean I trust him. At all.

Ashley is married a man named Walter, who I would say is my favorite in-law just because I get along with him the best. He’s quiet, and comes off very grumpy and a bit stuck-up since he doesn’t talk to anyone much, but that’s just because he’s shy and is still a little uncomfortable around our family. Ashley and I had a conversation about this, and we think it might be because of the strict religious values my family holds. (That I do not anymore. I’ll explain this later.) Walter grew up in a very non-LDS home, so I guess he just feels a little out-of-place with us since we behave in a way that he’s not, I guess, familiar with? Even though he’s LDS himself. It’s kind of a weird and complicated situation to explain, but I can completely understand where he’s coming from. He and I bonded over video-games and other nerdy things, which is why I think we got along so well the first time we met. He’s even invited me to some of his works games nights, where they sit around and play video games. And no, before anyone assumes anything, (you fucking nasty,) nothing fishy is going on. He loves Ashley with all his heart, and treats her like a queen. I’m just the cool in-law he likes to hang with. Plus, Ashley has always been present whenever we’d meet up. She and Walter don’t have kids, even though Ashley really wants them. Maybe we’ll see some little Steeds running around here within a few years, but who knows.

Quentin is still living at home with my dad. He’s newly “returned” as an LDS missionary and I would consider to be my very best friend out of all of my siblings. He served a service mission here at home because of his Addison’s Disease (also known as primary adrenal insufficiency and hypocortisolism, is a long-term endocrine disorder in which the adrenal glands do not produce enough steroid hormones. Symptoms generally come on slowly and may include abdominal pain, weakness, and weight loss. According to Google.) It’s also an auto-immune disorder that assaults the adrenal gland and, basically, renders your fight-or-flight reflex obsolete. We actually didn’t know he had this until just a few years ago, when he quite literally almost died because of it. It’s an extremely rare disease that his doctors were comically were so excited to diagnose, just because of how uncommon it was.

Quentin is an awkward nerdy kid who has an obsession with cars and Pokemon. He also has an ungodly talent for comedic timing. I don’t know how that kid does it, but he can make the most mundane sentence into pure comedy gold. I’m extremely jealous of it. As I said, he’s living at home with my sweet papa and working 9 to 5 job at the DI, or Deseret Industry.

Last of my siblings is Alaina, who is married to a complete sweetheart who is named Braden. They have a cute little daughter named Della who has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. (Which is a respiratory disease.) Alaina is a very sweet and head-strong little lady whom I haven’t been able to get along with very well. We don’t exactly fight very often, and she has never done anything that would warrant any bad blood between us, we just don’t exactly get each other. She’s very much one way, and I’m just the exact opposite. Ashley and I have talked about this, and she feels the same way. Alaina is just very much her own person and has a very set way of how she does things, and we just can’t quite get on the same wave-length. I think Amber and Quentin have managed to get passed the barrier, but Ashley and I haven’t. Neither has Ryan.

As for me, I’m about as much of a bachelorette as they come. I’m currently living in my hometown with a roommate in her grandmother’s basement. It’s a strange situation, I know, but I’m totally for it since the rent is free and her grandma doesn’t bother us much. For the year we’ve lived there, I think I can only think of maybe one time that she did something that really upset me. (She walked in on me while I was bare-naked and trying to get ready to go out. In my bedroom. I wasn’t happy.) So I can’t complain too much!

I’ve been working for the same retirement facility for about four years now, who of them being a server when I first started out. My third and fourth being with the department I’m in now, which the official title is “night security,” but I’m more of a night time receptionist and housekeeper, so it isn’t as cool as it sounds. I quite honestly hate my job. The hours are long (12 hours each shift, and I usually work three in a row, 8 to 8,) I don’t get to see the sun much, and I get to miss out on a lot of day-time activities because I’m either too tired or I have to work that night. It’s also started to really effect my physical and mental health. I’ve noticed that my depression and anxiety has been getting worse, my body is constantly aching and in pain because I sleep too much, and I’ve started to hallucinate a little bit. It’s nothing too intense, I just see weird shapes and people out of the corner of my eye for a couple seconds and then they’re gone, but it happens pretty often. I’m hoping that something that I really want to do will come up and I can apply to that, but after working this job and knowing how miserable I am doing it, I really want to find a job that I’ll like. The problem is that I don’t really know where that would be, and if the pay will be the same. I’m currently making about $11.75 an hour where I am, and I don’t think I’d be willing to go any lower. I know for some places, that isn’t a lot, but here in Utah, we don’t have the new “standard minimum wage” which is like $12 or something . . . Personally, I think that’s outrageous because you’re not suppose to live off of minimum wage. The minimum wage is suppose to be a starting point for people who are just starting out in the work force, and work their way up to a higher pay grade, but America is America and they made a big stink about that quite a few years back. (I can’t remember exactly when, but I know that California has implemented it. What a little bitch.)

I’m mostly just living life, trying to experience new things, and making an effort to try and meet new people. Since I work nights and most of my friends are either married or are complete hermits, (like my dear roommate,) it’s been pretty hard for me to get out there and see people, as well as find someone to date. So, to combat that, I’ve sucked up my pride and lowered my standards to sign up for an online dating site called Tinder. I’ve gone on a couple of dates, and for the most part they have been pretty good. (Minus maybe the first one, because it ended up crashing and burning after the second date, but more on that later because it still upsets me when I think about it. Listen to your gut kids. You’ll thank yourself later.) I’ve been talking with a couple of people and I might go on a date with some of them, but it’s been hard because since I work nights, I’m really bad at responding to them in a more consistent way, which is a huge flaw I need to work on.

I’m sorry to cut this off in a really weird spot, but I’m just now checking the clock and I need to get to work. I’ll be sure to continue this again tomorrow! Until then, cheers!

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gocasualrunawaycollection-blog · 6 years

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