#i always write too much excuse me

[shivunin]

the fact that you start the Tabris origin by literally stepping into your mother's shoes. the fact that what you get is a wedding outfit and your mother's worn boots, kept carefully intact for years, tucked away for this exact moment. the fact that you then immediately take the path she never could, leaving behind the alienage and the wedding and following Duncan (who would have recruited Adaia first, if not for baby!Tabris) to what ought to have been death.

And Then!! instead of fighting and falling as she did, cheating death and becoming the fighter she always intended you to be instead??? Reliving and simultaneously subverting the story of her life??

[crowlore]

i remember it used to be a bit of a fandom pet peeve of mine that some people would forget that the gung ho guns and eye of michael were two separate groups with some membership overlap but then stampede came along and made the eom into a project of conrad’s backed by knives. another example of how the reboot feels like bad fanfiction.

[alchemiclee]

other people can ship what they want, but I will only ship aventurine gay and never a straight ship. the dynamic of straight relationships/ships is never balanced (societies fault mostly) and that boy sure needs some balance. if you ignore the het-ifying of gay relationships with the whole pointless top/bottom debate, gay relationships are more equal by nature. aven needs someone in his life who is his equal.

for example, in the story it was pointed out the footprints were side by side when he was walking with ratio. therefore ratio sees him as his equal. and i'm sure aven would feel more at ease with him if he wasn't dealing with everything he was atm. aven is such an unbalanced character fighting against an eternal power struggle of everyone towering above him, trying to beat his luck, and he's trying to get above for once. then ratio appears, treating him as an equal, balancing him. even if you dont see it as a ship/see it as a platonic ship/nonromantic/friends you still have to admit how good their dynamic is.

[disclaimer edit: "by nature" I mean society's and most individual peoples nature. nature not meaning "science" but the built in habit that's existed in society and taught to people for millenia and people treat as "fact" (when it's not tbh) sorry for confusion! dont know how to explain it well! i was half asleep when i made this post idk what i was trying to say exaclty but it upset someome so maybe delete later]

[fennthetalkingdog]

I'm just figuring out how important music is in my life! This is coming from a long while trying to cut down on my music use, mostly because I was listening to it so much that it felt more like I couldn't do anything without popping in some earbuds, and partially because of other personal reasons. Some of my routines changed, forcing me to not listen to music while doing certain things, and it ended up becoming that besides working on homework or drawing, I didn't listen to music at all. But I've given myself a break today since I have nothing to do and since, for reasons, I'm feeling just a lil crappy today—and boy, I'm starting to realize again just why I love music!!

I love the diverse music taste I've developed over the years! My family is not only big about music but big about listening to it loud, so the majority of my music taste for most of my life has just been Christian hiphop (Lecrae, KB, Andy Mineo, Trip Lee, and ironically Tonex, whose album where he was struggling hard with his gayness has been my favorite concert movie since I was 5) and gospel music (Kirk Franklin, Tye Tribbett, etc.). And music was one of the few connections between me and my race (I grew up feeling pretty estranged from my blackness as a kid, but the popular songs they played at the YMCA in the 2010s were some of the few things I could use to feel more connected) and between me and my classmates/friends at the Y (I still have fond memories of playing FNAF songs in mat forts and reciting lyrics at pool parties). But I got tired of knowing I could never bond with anyone besides family friends music taste-wise when I was in high school, and so I started listening to secular music on my own time. And that's how I first found Ghost and Pals, a vocaloid artist and one of the first secular music folks I listened to as a kid (can you smell the religious trauma yet? Lol), and that's how I bonded with one of my best friends in early college (ironically, also my first time being publically queer). Now I listen to Kpop, anime songs, songs from warriors MAPs, songs from musicals (Hamilton and In the Heights <3), latin songs, metal songs, and even some secular songs young me would've been too scared to listen to.

And music has always been one of my biggest sources of stimming! I can't dance to save my life, but music will sure get me to flick my fingers and hit my fist against my shoulder furiously. Music was one of the first clues that I like stimming with vibration too (since I love laying against the car door and turning up the music loud enough to feel the world shake around me). And music was one of the first things that made me look into ADHD or autism (specifically, listening to Ghost and Pals songs for a month straight and getting my friend at early college [who also has ADHD] to start looking at me funny when I was discovered doing chores and listening to one of three songs for the fifth time). Music is so cool it'll get me to wax poetically. It was one of the things that kept me together during my roughest times and soothed me during my best. I listen to it while I write, while I cry, while I hang out with my friends and family and while I chill by myself. It's how I relax after a long day, and it's how I feel safe. I feel kinda emotional finally having music hit that spot in me without feeling like I need it to do stuff.

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Hm….cant help but post my disappointment in getting blocked by someone I considered a friend without even the chance of having a discussion. I’m not owed one, but the fact that I was blocked in proxy makes me a little sad. If you noticed some ships getting removed from the ship list, that’s why. I won’t be talking about the games anymore and also don’t want any flack thrown at anyone, because it defeats the purpose of the topics we brought up in….hm not retaliation but as a counter point.

Idk. You’d expect people you’re friendly with to really talk these things out with you if you have differentiated opinions, but just getting hard blocked because you added some thoughts while agreeing with some points feels pretty shitty and like you can’t have friends with different opinions than you- whether they’re hard stances or not. I know it’s not just me, I know I’m valid in some of my personal experiences and opinions due to talking to others about my personal stances on things, but it still sucks. I can’t help but feeling alienated if not just for the fact that I’m a black person who tries to remind people that NUANCE and SENSITIVITY is important in fandom spaces, especially if you’re going to be the spearhead in the community, but also just as someone who has been personally effected by “everything is good no matter how it’s handled”. I’ve been hurt, I’ve been groomed by that media, but it feels like it doesn’t matter- to the point someone told me “it was my fault for getting groomed because of said media.”

Idk- I’m just disappointed.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.

[the-kipsabian]

you know its time to go to bed when the sad thoughts start rolling in

[not-so-superheroine]

deseret book is more persistent than duolingo.

i ordered 2 books for a church research project on Black saints in the early Church and also in the Reorganization, on which the one book had a small section us and all had info from the our shared early church history, and it was an ebook too!

and i get physical mail from them once a month. i have no idea how to cancel.

herald house, the community of christ publishing house, contacts me much less, and i buy books from them all the time.

and oh their church book app reminds me to read my scriptures and the words of their prophets regularly if it's not in sleep mode.

i have to admire the effort behind it, ngl.

[karebear923]

Get To Know Me Tag

Thank you so much @befuddledcinnamonroll for tagging me! I really enjoy these tag games to learn about each other!

Do you make your bed?

Sometimes yes, but by that I mean I half fold/half bundle up the sheets and toss them on top of my pillow. So no, not really 😅

What's your favorite number?

Never really had one, but I like when things can be evenly split, so even numbers and groups of five are satisfying 👌🏽

What is your job?

I’m currently a certified pharmacy technician. I used to be the manager but I had to step down when I went back to school cause I couldn’t be full time anymore.

If you could go back to school, would you?

Here I go with my long winded answers again 😅

If we’re talking go back in time to when I was younger and in school then yes. I fear I peaked in high school, and with my current knowledge of life I’d do so many things differently.

If we’re talking go back to school now for a career change, that’s what I’m currently doing. I’m not using my first degree, so I’m in school to be an X-ray technologist and I hope to move up to CT or MRI afterwards.

If we’re talking go back to school now just for funsies, then yes again. I love languages and wish I could properly learn so many! I took Italian in college which I picked up pretty easily cause it’s so similar to Spanish (my first language), ma capisco più che parlo. Non ho nessuno con cui praticare.

Can you parallel park?

Yes but I get so nervous about hitting other cars 🙈 I’d prefer not to do it.

A job you had that would surprise people?

I think what’s most surprising is that I’ve only ever had one real job. I’ve done volunteer and community work, and some research stuff but a formal wage-paying job I’ve only had one of. I’ve had many position changes within that job, though.

Do you think aliens are real?

I don’t rule out the possibility of advanced life on another planet but I’m also not thinking about it on the regular.

Can you drive a manual car?

Definitely not lol. I didn’t learn to drive until I was 26 😬 and I’m turning 29 this year…

What's your guilty pleasure?

Honestly it’s BLs, cause of the stigma around it. But if I’m around strangers I can talk about it! I met so many nice BL fans at an event back in February. It’s just hard to find people who get it.

Anything else though, I’m loud and proud! Haters to the left! 💁🏽‍♀️

Tattoos?

I’ve always wanted one! But I’m so indecisive on what to get! There is this one design I really want but then I think about it and I’m like “but where to place it???” 😭

Favorite color?

Green!!! But also purple and white

Favorite type of music?

I listen to a lot of different genres but I like pop music the most. Of course I’m into Kpop, and I love an 80’s synth sound!

Do you like puzzles?

Omg yes, I love brain teaser-type puzzles! I do the daily NYT games whenever I can and I love trivia shows and riddles and problem solving games! So fun!

Any phobias?

I’m scared of heights but I can be brave sometimes. I really don’t like slimy things like slugs and snails or boogers.

Favorite childhood sport?

I love swimming! I was actually on my high school swim team! I did the IM which is all strokes but I also did the Butterfly 🏊🏼‍♀️ and my team started the school’s synchronized swimming team too! 🙆🏽‍♀️🌊

Do you talk to yourself?

All the time! But who doesn’t? And to my pets and stuff too.

What movies do you adore?

I used to love going to the movies but I haven’t been back much since covid. And I don’t really seek out older movies to watch. But I love romance so stuff like Pride & Prejudice and Fools Rush In. And my family loves Disney so Tarzan, and The Incredibles are my faves! We rewatch a lot of Disney films all the time.

Coffee or tea?

I very much enjoy tea but I seldom drink it. I should change that 🤔 and I’m unfortunately chronically tired and need coffee to survive 😞 but I don’t get the complex drinks, just a regular coffee, 2-3 cups a day.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Uhh idk really. My answer was always changing, I never had a *dream* career 🤷🏽‍♀️

Not sure who hasn’t been tagged but I’d love to read your responses! No pressure though!

@buckystilinski @stormyoceans @petrichoraline @poetry-protest-pornography @absolutebl @heretherebedork

[forgotten-daydreamer]

Took twice the max dose of melatonin before the final revision for tomorrow’s exam, I’m shitting my pants and I genuinely don’t know anything as thoroughly as I should but if I sleep less than 4 hrs before it I just know I’m gonna do even worse somehow

[bunisher]

never forgiving jason aaron for putting in punisher 2022 that frank hurt animals as a child….

[raifuujin]

Eventually I'll write my thoughts about stuff from the now long confirmed movie spoilers and manga events. Most of it would probably be summed up with ranting about writing (more because of the manga, but also a little because of The movie Thing), and a little bit of pros and cons of it all as far as my opinion.

But at the end of it all, it'll really only change fandom as much as you allow it. Some people are personally unhappy, and that's fine. Many probably won't let it affect their fanworks, no different from any other work with various tweaks or even aus. If people do start harassing for stupid reasons, get some block buttons ready. If the new information encourages new story ideas, that's great!

I personally like juggling possibilities, I just don't like Gosho's use of ideas nowadays, so. -sighs and shrugs- Same old same old, I guess. Even if this time caused a lot bigger drama than usual because of valid concerns.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

could cozy up to me- ahem

[godblooded]

i just gotta say peoples' obsessions with writing toxic relationships just concerns the shit outta me on this hellsite.

[lunarharp]

comicky things etc

[unreadpoppy]

the thing about being the only neurodivergent person in your friend group is that whenever you have to make a group decision, if you have to go against the group because of acessibility, you're going to loose.

My friends and I are going to watch a movie this month and everyone wants to watch it dubbed and I'd rather with subtitles. Why? 1) because people can be very loud and if someone is talking next to me and there's no subtitles, I will miss part of the movie and won't understand what's happening. 2) I think I might have some of that audio processing stuff cause I swear when I watch stuff dubbed it takes me so long to understand what's going on without a subtitle, I will miss important plot points or characters names and it won't be a good experience and since dubbed movies don't come with subtitles, I just get lost. 3) When the sounds get too much to me, at least I can focus on the writing to follow along

But because my friends don't like watching things subtitled, I lost in the vote and when my friend said the cinema we chose only had dubbed I reacted with a crying sticker and someone very aggresively was like "girl if you want to watch it subtitled go watch alone cause no one here wants to" and then I had to fucking explain that man, I'm going to go watch it dubbed cause i'm not gonna make anyone watch it subtitled.

'cause unlike neurotypicals, I'm used to having to be unconfortable for their fucking sake.

And it's like, if I try to explain, it's always like well you can handle it y'know, my needs get dismissed as nothing because why would everyone else bend and break for me when I can just "take it"? Like if dubbed movies just came with subtitles, my life would be so. much. easier. It's why I'm okay with watching stuff dubbed AT HOME, cause I can put the subtitles anyways.

I'm lucky enough that I managed to convince people to not sit all the way in the back (they wanted to sit in the last motherfucking seats, which are closer to the sound machines which means that everything is way worse for me and also, even with glasses, my eyesight is still gonna be worse all the way in the back when compared to like, the middle row).