#i am CRAVING a spine chilling horror book

[audiofictionuk]

New fiction Podcasts - 1st September 2024

Mall Brats Audio RPG Mall Brats is an RPG podcast that’s like if Gangs of New York was a Saturday morning cartoon set in a magical 1980s mega mall. Countless kid gangs make their living in the mall pulling off schemes, selling candy, and causing trouble under the watchful eye of the mysterious Food Court. The Cool Treat Kids are the mall’s most up-and-coming gang of ne'er do wells, featuring Fenton Beasley, Franklin Stein, and Clover Ivy Fern. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240826-01 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/mallbrats

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THE WILD WIND | An American Gothic Tale by Cor Zim Audio Book The Wild Wind is an American gothic tale about a woman born and raised on the grounds of a psychiatric institution—not as a patient but as the daughter of the asylum’s farmer—who learns of love and loss while grappling with the question of what it means to be sane when insanity is the norm. “What’s to be sane in the garden of madness?” That’s the question haunting Sarah, a centenarian writing about her life growing up at the asylum on the bank of the Illinois River. After a long-tormented life, Sarah intends to commit after completing a typewritten manuscript spoken to a man named Sam. Through a lens of lore and myth—the secrets that shaped Sarah’s twisted and mysterious life are revealed. In Sarah’s labyrinthine quest for healing and peace, she painstakingly deconstructs the most transformative moments of her life. Her journey, spanning a century, is marked by profound hardship and survival, leading her to the poignant realization: “Sanity is but paper in a world consumed by fire.” The Wild Wind defies convention, blending plot and character development in a refreshingly unique way. With an equally unusual structure and lyrical prose, Sarah’s account is intellectually intriguing and emotionally compelling. It sheds light on the darker aspects of American society and history, encouraging readers to view themselves and the world from a fresh perspective. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240827-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/the-wild-wind-an-american-gothic-tale-by-cor-zim/feed.xml

Handwritten Storytime Audio Book I have enjoyed writing to many extents from a young age and not too long ago decided to pursue my dreams within this career. I am starting small by recording my mini novels and posting them as episodes here. These novels are all different sizes, and some are more detailed than others. Follow along with me on a journey through notes and pages! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240521-06 RSS: https://diannajosteinbauerpodcast.podomatic.com/rss2.xml

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Moorish Media Presents Cold Shivers Audio Book Moorish Media Presents: Cold Shivers: A Supernatural Thriller SeriesCalling all horror enthusiasts, supernatural fanatics, and thriller readers! Moorish Media invites you to embark on a chilling journey with our latest masterpiece, Cold Shivers. This captivating series is tailor-made for those who crave spine-tingling experiences and a hefty dose of the supernatural in their literary escapades. Unleash Your Darkest Desires. Cold Shivers is a collection of tales that will transport you to a world where vampires roam, zombies lurk in the shadows, and werewolves howl at the moon. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240822-04 RSS: https://media.rss.com/coldshivers/feed.xml

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AHOOGA! | A Dime Store Novel by Cor Zim Audio Book AHOOGA! begins as a coming-of-age tale set in rural America. The protagonist, a young boy named Oscar, grapples with his father's strict rules and expectations. Despite this, Oscar forms a friendship with Josefina, a Mexican girl from the impoverished side of the tracks. The story, written in a lyrical style with vivid descriptions of the characters and settings, unfolds against a backdrop of profound societal changes and significant historical events, including the rapid rise of the automobile industry and the looming threat of World War I, culminating in a dramatic bank robbery and a chase that leaves a lasting impact on the town and its people. As Oscar and Josefina's relationship develops, they face adversity, including a violent encounter with a group of boys. This event has lasting consequences, shaping their understanding of societal divisions and personal resilience. Then tragedy strikes, leaving the young girl orphaned and on the precipice of yet another mortal tragedy that leaves Oscar broken and blaming his father personally for the loss. The second half of the novel finds Oscar hopping on a train for the city and the irresistible allure of the jazz culture of 1920s Chicago, where he meets Betty, a woman who introduces him to the hidden world of speakeasies and bootlegging. Oscar becomes enamored with the devil’s music and its flappers, finding solace and escape in the smoky haze of the underground clubs. Oscar's life takes yet another perilous turn when he meets Nevaeh, a talented jazz singer known as "Little Bird." Nevaeh is involved with a dangerous gangster, Silver Dollar Sam. Despite the risks, Oscar is drawn to Nevaeh, and they begin a passionate affair. Oscar's journey reflects the struggles of many during this era as they navigate the complexities of love, identity, and the pursuit of the American Dream. But no matter how hard Oscar tries, regardless of what vice he chases, be it jazz, liquor, or sex, he can never seem to part with the one who got away, young Josefina, and the ever-increasing desire to avenge her death. Written & Narrated by Cory ZimProduced by Radio VertéExecutive Producer, Cory Zimhttps://radioverte.works Cor Zim is the executive producer of Radio Verté and the author of two fiction novels, THE WILD WIND and AHOOGA!, each of which has been adapted into an audio podcast series. He is the author of two nonfiction novels, SPOON RIVER GOTHIC: Narrative of a Double Homicide and DEATH RIDES THE HIGHWAY: A Thrill Ride Fueled by Murder & Terror, both of which have also been adapted into audio podcast series produced by Radio Verté. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240827-02 RSS: https://media.rss.com/ahooga-a-dime-store-novel-by-cor-zim/feed.xml

Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance Audio Drama In this immersive fantasy series, a pair of heroes brought together by fate embark on a journey of revenge, redemption, and love. Set in the vast world of Thedas, Dragon Age: Vows & Vengeance was created in collaboration with BioWare and based on their award-winning video game franchise, Dragon Age. Nadia, a retired cat burglar, finds herself back on the prowl after scoring the job of a lifetime. Unknowingly employed by the Dread Wolf, Nadia hunts down a powerful ancient artifact and both she and her lover, Elio, find themselves caught in a web of lies that threaten the entire world. When Elio is seemingly banished to the Fade - a mystical magical plane - Nadia desperately searches for answers on a rescue mission across Thedas. On her journey, Nadia finds an unlikely ally in Drayden, a bookish historian and writer with a troubled past and a mysterious connection to the Fade. Their journey to save Elio is arduous, dangerous, and at times, downright foolish. But with the help of some friends, our heroes find some of the answers they are looking for and a few they wish they hadn’t. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240829-01 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/PDP6704482640

I Need A Miracle Audio Drama Every episode is a prayer, some prayers are answered, and a prayer granted can upend the world. Each episode, each prayer, is a single desperate moment of a life in another world. A world shaped by the divine. The voices we hear know an omnipotent being is listening. They know not all pleas are granted – but some are. And they believe in the benevolence of their god. Desperation and calculation, need and desire render each new character in vivid shades. And episode by episode, a miraculous yet tumultuous world is assembled in glimpses. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240829-02 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/ineedamiracle

Someone Just Like You Audio Book This is the sound that breaks the silence of the night. The scratching inside the walls. The tapping just outside your window. The whispers in the dark. "Someone Just Like You" is a harrowing journey into supernatural terror not for the faint of heart—or stomach. These handpicked horror stories are frightening, fearless and hauntingly vivid. Brought to life by an extraordinary cast of voice actors including Peter Lewis, Addison Peacock, Méabh de Brún, Graham Rowat, Anusia Battersby, and many more. Listen at your own risk because what happens here could happen to anyone. It could happen to… Someone Just Like You. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240829-03 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/someonejustlikeyou

Resurrecting Dick Nash Audio Book A jaded lawyer, on the payroll of a nameless corporate entity, travels the backroads of modern day America on a mission to unearth a mysterious object simply called "the Package." The only clues to its whereabouts are a disjointed series of notes and records compiled by an obscure 1980's pulp fiction writer who traveled the same roads half a century ago and wrote under the pen name Dick Nash. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240801-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f93fec20/podcast/rss

Darkside Tales Audio Book Original horror stories, written and produced in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. All stories written by Vanessa F Penney. Produced, narrated and edited by Roxanne Potvin. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240803-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/darksidetales/feed.xml

Genesis and The Lumenairians Audio Book Genesis and the Lumenairians is an original science fiction podcast created by Elizabeth Manoukian. The year is 2056. In a post-WiFi, analog Los Angeles we follow our hero, Genesis as she tries to find what she has lost to another fold of reality. Genesis and the Lumenairians was inspired by films such as Blade Runner, Interstellar and Francesca Lia Block’s Dangerous Angels book series. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240805-04 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/Genesisandthelumenairians/feed.xml

Finding Familiars Audio RPG Stories told, adventures had, and familiars found just with the roll of some dice. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240809-03 RSS: https://feeds.simplecast.com/4VXqY4mD

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Dungeons and Drag Queens Audio RPG Hear ye! Hear ye! High-fantasy, high-heeled, high-quality audio from Dungeons and Drag Queens LIVE shows will have you rolling on the floor with HIDEOUS laughter! Since starting in Seattle, Dungeons and Drag Queens LIVE has inspired many. Dungeon Master Comedian Paul Curry and improvisational violinist Carson Grubb will lead a party of fierce local and international Drag Queens on a brand-new storytelling adventure, filled with danger, snark, and audience participation around every precarious corner. Listen and learn, or hear Paul’s carefully crafted fantasy world burn, at Dungeons and Drag Queens! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240804-02 RSS: https://media.rss.com/dndqlive/feed.xml

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Forge & Fable D&D Podcast Audio RPG Welcome to Forge & Fable, where storytelling meets adventure in the wondrous world of Dungeons & Dragons! Join a band of intrepid adventurers as they journey through magical realms, unravel ancient mysteries, and face formidable foes. Whether you're a seasoned player, a budding dungeon master, or someone just enchanted by epic tales, this podcast will ignite your imagination and bring fresh excitement to your D&D experience. Each episode is a blend of compelling narrative, dynamic character interactions, and thrilling gameplay, brought to life by a passionate team of players and a creative dungeon master. Prepare for laughter, suspense, and the occasional dice roll mishap as we forge our path through fables old and new. Tune in to Forge & Fable and become a part of our ever-growing adventuring party. Your epic quest awaits! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240811-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/forge-fable/feed.xml

Public Access: Playback Static Audio RPG Playback Static is an analog/cosmic TTRPG Actual Play Podcast of the game Public Access by Jason Cordova which you can get through DriveThruRPG. It is set in Deep Lake, New Mexico in the year 2004. Ever since the local public access TV station that began production in the late 1970’s, TV Odyssey, quite literally disappeared in the mid 1990’s, odd things have been happening in the town of Deep Lake. Our Latchkeys who grew up in Deep Lake and moved away find themselves drawn back to their hometown to solve the mysteries happening in Deep Lake currently, and the get to the bottom of what happened to TV Odyssey, once and for all. There’s secrets in Deep Lake, one’s that are older than our Latchkeys even know about. The true question is will they survive long enough to find out what happened to the long disappeared station and, if they do, what happens to them? https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240817-04 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/playbackstaticpod/feed.xml

Five Conversations Before Sleep Audio Drama A series of intimate 15 minute dialogues between two people in a relationship at the milestones that define a couple. Sometimes awkward, oftentimes relatable, this show captures the horror and ecstasy of the search for someone to love — but mainly someone to talk to. Best listened to immediately after waking up. For anyone who has ever said too much or not enough. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240807-03 RSS: https://feeds.simplecast.com/QfPbjT7C

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 1/5

Book Blurb:

Following the murder of their leader and friend, a tight-knit coven of queer teens takes on a wish-granting demon lurking in their town, weaving together murder mystery with the occult in this YA horror novel perfect for fans of V. E. Schwab and Leigh Bardugo books.

NOW PAY ATTENTION, BECAUSE ALL THE DETAILS MATTER. November 1999. North Dana, Massachusetts. Nesbit Nuñez discovers the partially devoured body of Bastion Attia: star quarterback, secret witch, and Nesbit’s even-more-secret boyfriend. No one knew why brilliant, gentle Bastion lived his life by a seemingly arcane set of rules, including a strange manner of speech and an inability to say his own name. Now the remaining members of North Coven—Nesbit, Dove, Drea, and Brandy—vow to get answers. Nothing can prepare them for what they uncover: Bastion had been locked in a terrifying battle of wits and wills with something living deep beneath an ancient mausoleum in the local cemetery. North Coven must confront the red-gloved monster that took piece after piece of Bastion, that he fought until his last breath. Not knowing that Bastion left behind the key to its destruction . . .

Now, Conjurers is perfect for fans of darkly atmospheric queer books that blend bone-chilling supernatural thrills with insightful explorations of grief, identity, and the power of found family. This wildly original and nostalgic gothic novel will appeal to readers craving spine-tingling occult books inspired by 90s classics or anyone searching for horror books for teens with a lovable oddball cast of characters and raw examinations of grief and love.

Review:

What to do when you find out your boyfriend has been murdered? Why solve the case with your coven and confront a deadly red-gloved monster! The story takes place in North Dana, Massachusetts, 1999 and follows Nesbit Nuñez, who discovers that their star quarterback boyfriend has been partially devoured. Nesbit is a witch and so was his boyfriend, and now Nesbit and the remaining members of the north Coven will do anything to find out what happened to Bastion. What they never expect is to find out that there is a terrifying entity living beneath the ancient mausoleum in the local cemetery! While this is definitely a mixture of y2k teens with a touch of Sabrina and nods to Neverending story, it was a queer found family story with a gothic touch and touches on grief and love. Despite the fact that it had all of that going for it, I just could not get into the story (shocker), despite the fact that I am a huge horror fan and adore queer romances and stories, this one just felt like a miss for me. I think that this translates better as a tv show or something because as i was reading it I found myself losing interest and just spacing out at times. The story itself was okay but I was really hoping for more and hoping I would be more invested in the characters and their stories. While this one didn't work for me, if you like queer nostalgic horror stories with a touch of found family, give this one a go!

Release Date: June 4,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Union Square & Co. - A subsidiary of Sterling Publishing | Union Square & Co. for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[murphycooper]

rec me some horror books to read on halloween!!! actual horror scary stuff please!!!

[roselen-mylady]

Kickin it old school

Bucky Barnes x Deadpool!Reader

What happenes when Bucky falls in love with Y/n, otherwise known as Deadpool, the famous Merc with a Mouth? Can he break down her walls and enter the chaos that is her heart? 

WARNING: Mature language and suggestive themes

It started with a giggle. A little inappropriate giggle, underlined with drunken crudeness. It was a giggle that was accompanied by a dark, lustful smile and an even darker gaze. It was the kinda giggle that came from a girl who had never quite done it but had done enough hand and mouth stuff to no longer be completely innocent. A timid but craving giggle. A nasty giggle. 

Valkyrie had come to the compound for a meeting, nothing more. But with Y/n’s insistence she stayed around for their daily training. They held it outside today, allowing Sam to practice some group maneuvers with his wings and his passed down shield. Valkyrie went easy at first, not yet knowing the extent of Y/n’s power or how much she could take. 

But soon Y/n’s dirty and foul comments became more irritating than amusing and without much thought she forced Y/n back, making her fly across the yard. It wouldn’t have been such a damaging fall, no Y/n had survived much worse. Yet the decorative fence surrounding the building was an unforgiving cushion and Y/n’s head was soon impaled upon one metal spike. If her mind wasn’t so foggy she might’ve made a joke about being like an overthrown king, whose head was then displayed throughout the kingdom on a pike.  

Thankfully Sam wasted no time in making the joke, much to Valkyrie’s horror. She had killed many beings in her time, a lot without any cause or honor but this was different. The object of training wasn’t to kill your opponent but rather to better them. However there Y/n was, unmoving and what appeared to be dead upon the lawn. 

“Gods.” Valkyrie’s muffled voice came to Y/n like a blur. Y/n twitched, doing her best to lift herself off the spike. It was metal and quite firmly attached to the rest of the fence so she knew she had to find a way to work herself up to the top. 

Then the giggle came. The sultry giggle Wade used to love. 

“Deadpool, are you alright?” Valkyrie questioned, but was met with no response as Y/n gazed around her, some cheesy 90s song that had been long lost in her subconscious now filling the air around her. Valkyrie stepped into view like an angel coming to rescue her and Y/n couldn’t help but reach out to her as the woman broke the spike and brought Y/n up into her arms. 

Valkyrie was relieved to hear Y/n couldn’t die though the rather annoyed way Sam said it was alarming. Y/n’s white lenses widened as she reached out for Valkyrie’s face, letting her gloved hand caress her skin. 

Sam emerged somewhere from behind but Y/n paid no mind, finding Valkyrie’s confused expression almost…sexy? She couldn’t think straight but for what she was going to do, she didn’t need to. 

Y/n accepted the music in her head and the image before her, bringing both hands up with two fingers pointing into Vs. Y/n wasted no time in making very indecent gestures, only furthering Valkyrie’s confusion. Y/n couldn’t even hear Sam’s mock disgust as her hand drifted to her mouth motioning a lick between her two fingers though her mask covered her mouth. 

Valkyrie looked back to Y/n with an amused but uninterested smile before another set of arms took hold of Y/n. The cool metal under her back was different from the metal in her head and she found herself leaning into it for comfort. A scent so familiar filtered through her mask and she inhaled deeply, enjoying it more than the smoke from her guns. 

Looking up she was met with Bucky, his kind blue eyes and even warmer expression sending chills through her high state. Very much like Valkyrie, he fell victim to Y/n’s sexual gestures, her palm forming a circle in front of her mouth as she bobbed it closer and closer to her face. He didn’t respond, at least not that she could tell in the disoriented state she was in, instead setting her down upon her feet. 

Taking that as a go ahead, she began to sink to her knees but before her fingers could begin to dig into his waistband, his metal fingers wrapped around the spike, yanking it harshly out of her skull. 

The music stopped instantly and everything went cold around her as she collapsed into the grass. She groaned, gripping her head as an agonizing headache tore through her brain. “Oh fuck!" 

"She’s back to normal. If you can even call her that.” Sam teased as Valkyrie stepped forward to check on Y/n. Bucky stood in front of them, closest to Y/n and she now took notice of the pink dusting his face and the uneasy shift of his hips. 

“How did you survive that?” Valkyrie questioned, curiously as Sam tugged the shield out of a poor nearby tree. 

Y/n shrugged lazily, rolling over onto her side to climb back to her feet, blood still pooling in the lawn beside her. “Can’t die. Headshots only make me loopy.” Y/n explained, circling her finger next to her head dramatically as she struggled to piece together any coherent thoughts. 

“Yes, so I gathered.” Valkyrie laughed, referring to Y/n’s lewd suggestions. Y/n only shrugged shamelessly. 

“Well, if you’re ever up for it, you know where I’m at. I’ll even let you stab me again if that’s what you’re into.” Y/n winked, missing Bucky’s slight frown as he started back toward the compound. 

She didn’t know he’d only come out upon hearing a sickening squish of her skull sinking down the spike. She didn’t know he’d rushed to the lawn and nearly had a heart attack when he saw her. Didn’t know that even though she was practically immortal he still feared for her life. Didn’t know he’d give his for hers in an instant. 

Valkyrie smiled at the offer but didn’t give a response instead leaving Y/n guessing. She liked it when they played hard to get anyways. 

“Dead, c'mere.” Sam called over causing Y/n to turn away from Valkyrie’s retreating figure. She made her way over to him, still dizzy from her brain repairing itself but managed to make it over to the tree where he’d instructed. 

“Try catching the shield, I don’t think I’m throwing it hard enough." 

Bucky froze at the request, already sensing what a terrible idea it was. Yet before he could even begin to object Y/n complied, bracing herself in preparation. 

"Wait." 

His words hung limply on his tongue, exactly what he feared would happen, happening the second he spoke. Sam yelled out an apology as Y/n yanked her hand out from under the shield where it had been pinned to the tree. 

She didn’t cry or scream in pain, instead giving a frustrated shout as she jerked herself back, ripping her finger off in the process. 

"Aw, pussyshit." 

•••

"Ha! Sam, look! Baby finger!” Y/n wiggled her tiny middle finger, thrusting it into Sam’s face. He recoiled in disgust, forcing away her hand. 

“Ew, no! I don’t wanna see that thing.” He cried, pushing her off his desk. Y/n shrieked as she tumbled to the ground, landing flat on her ass. 

“Shit.” She groaned a little, choosing to sprawl out instead, too lazy to get back up. “Come on! You’re the dumbass that chopped it off. Masturbating is going to suck ass! What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” She pushed her hand forward once more, smirking as he spared it a cautious glance. Immediately Sam looked away again, shaking his head in distaste. 

Her hand fell against her stomach, her other hand coming to massage the little finger as it grew in. But before she could continue to terrorize Sam the automatic door slid open, heavy boots clambering into the room. 

“Y/n, what are you doing on the floor?” His deep voice sent familiar chills through her spine and she quickly sat up, trying with all her might to ignore the feeling. Bucky looked down at her, his brows furrowed in confusion as he nudged her leg softly. 

“Cause this jackass, pushed me off the desk.” Y/n replied as she kicked Sam’s chair, crushing his leg against the side of his desk. He grunted painfully, shooting her a deadly glare before Bucky intervened. 

“How about we call this even before things get out of hand?” He sighed, rubbing his forehead like an agitated parent. 

“I don’t even want to hear the word ‘hand’.” Sam groaned. Y/n gasped, angrily rising to her feet and throwing her hands up wildly. 

“You cut it off, you stupid shit suckle!” She screeched, fuming at this point.  

“I told you, I’m still getting used to the shield!" 

"Eat a cock!” Y/n shot back. 

Bucky sighed, grabbing hold of Y/n’s hand to inspect it carefully. All the vulgar words she had planned to use on Sam were quickly lost to her flustered thoughts and her scarred face fell into an awestruck expression. 

Thankfully he didn’t see the pink that dusted her cheeks, only frowning slightly at her new appendage. It was small in his larger hands, but so was the rest of her hand and she quickly retracted it before she could start to enjoy the feeling. Bucky’s fingers followed hers for a split second, chasing the warmth that she provided but he caught himself, letting his hands drop to his side with a deeper frown. 

“How long will it take for it to grow back?” He asked. She shrugged, looking down at the dried patches of blood still lingering around the new finger. 

“Eh, like 10 minutes. I’ll be fine. One time this huge motherfucker, Juggernaut, ripped me clean in half like a damn phone book. Well, it wasn’t clean. It was messy-it was so fucking terrible.” Y/n laughed, unaware of the alarmed look Bucky and Sam shared. 

“What happened to your legs?” Sam questioned reluctantly, knowing the answer wasn’t something he really wanted to know. He was just so damn curious. 

“No idea.” Y/n hummed quietly, looking off into the distance as if searching for her literal other half. The men watched her with vivid concern, trying in vain to force away their own theories about the whereabouts of Y/n’s legs. 

“We have another mission. Suit up and meet at the jet in an hour.” Bucky told them, his voice stony in a way that only happened when he was upset. He then turned, storming out of the room leaving Sam and Y/n with equally confused faces. 

“The fucks wrong with Terminator?” Y/n questioned, jerking a thumb back at the door. Sam shrugged, lifting himself up from his desk, trying not to give Y/n the satisfaction of watching him limp. She noticed though. She always did. 

•••

“Getting real tired of these HYDRA motherfuckers!” Y/n yelled, firing at one of the agents as she ran down the infinite looking hall. Bucky ran alongside her, his metal arm braced out in front of them to deflect bullets. 

Well most of them. 

“Fuck!” Y/n screamed, slamming her hand down over her left breast with an appalled expression. Bucky froze as did the HYDRA agent that shot her, equally shocked. 

“You shot me in the fucking boob!” She screamed, disbelief and vengeance lacing her words. “Oh shit, that fucking does it. I’m shooting you right in the dick, cum bucket.” She promised, her smile venomous as she directed the gun at the man’s groin and fired without hesitation. 

The man cried out in agony as he fell to his knees, making Bucky visibly flinch beside her as she shot again. “Y/n.” He warned, looking around at the hall which was slowly flooding with more agents. “We have to move on." 

"Not yet. Not until this guy’s kids come out of his bitch like pudding!” Y/n stepped forward, firing again even though the man had already become unconscious. Only the click from her empty clip seemed to calm her rage and she growled in frustration. 

“Stupid!” Y/n shouted at herself, slamming the now unless gun into her thigh holster. The man on the ground with an ever growing puddle of red growing around his lower half was a gruesome sight but it made her smile. “Worth it.” She whispered with a smirk. 

“Sam’s waiting for us outside!” Bucky reminded, turning around them and kicking one of the agents into the group behind him. The harshness in which he had been forced into them made them fall, buying Bucky and Y/n sometime while they recovered but not much. “The elevator is our best bet outta here." 

No sooner had he said it, Bucky immediately stopped, glaring at the sight before them. A dozen men came around the corner, blocking their path with an older man in a suit at the front. 

"Whoa there, buddy, you’re within 100 feet of a school. Don’t make me call your parole officer.” Y/n mocked, putting her hands on her hips as she stared down the man at the center. 

His brows furrowed in confusion and he looked around at the other men, hoping one of them might fill him in. The agents behind the pair had gotten back to their feet, coming to block the other direction of the hall, cutting off all means of escape. 

“You have nowhere to run, give us the drive and I promise your death will be quick.” The man demanded. Y/n glanced over at Bucky, her taunting expression obvious to him even under her mask. He couldn’t help but let a small smile slip as she turned back to the man. 

“I’m gonna have to stop you right there, pal. Sorry to steal your whole Dr. Evil moment but there’s been a change of plans.” Y/n started, menacingly stepping toward the man. There was still a fair distance between them but it was close enough to make the man cower. 

“If you leave right now, I might-

let you keep your hands. If not, well, let’s just say you’re gonna have a tough time tickling your pickle tonight.” She smirked at the older man. Some of the men were baffled by the woman before them, unsure if they should be fighting her or not. Seriousness was never one of Y/n’s strong suits. Unlike people such as Captain America and Colossus, Y/n ran on violence and smartass remarks. This was in every aspect of her life even in her grieving process and while this wasn’t the healthiest of methods she didn’t really care. 

“Kill them.” The man ordered, sinking back into the group, as they stepped threateningly closer. Y/n nearly smiled under her mask. She loved it when they played it hard to get. 

“Time to kick it old school.” Y/n announced, reaching behind her and tugging free her dual swords. She spun them expertly in her hands, bringing one above her head while the other stretched out in front of her. “Bring it on, cock thistle." 

Bucky stood in awe as he watched her. The thumping in his chest was a forgotten feeling. It was something that died when he fell off the train and only just recently had it been revived. Ironically it was the one woman who couldn’t die who had brought his ability to love back to life. 

And for that she owned his heart. 

A single bullet rang out but Y/n was much faster than the bullet, swinging down the katana and slicing it clean in half. A moment of confused silence rang out through the hall, tension rising faster than the bullet that just tore through the air. 

Like the shot at the beginning of a race, the simple sound made everyone erupt into conflict. Multiple men swormed Bucky, crashing him into the wall but struggling to pin him there. Bucky was stronger than all of them but they just kept coming, a mess of men grabbing hold of his limbs and immobilizing him. 

Y/n charged forward, dropping to her knees and leaning back as she moved to slide under the man closest to her. He cried out as she cut off his hand, a soft thud on the ground telling her that her sword had gone clean through. She rose again, turning and bringing one of her feet up to plant herself before, digging her katana into the man’s back. The man fell limp on the ground, his dismembered hand still gripping the gun he had pointed at her. 

"Need a hand?!” Y/n shouted, glancing over at Bucky’s predicament. He looked back at her, his face twisted into a provoked expression. That was the only answer she needed and she quickly rolled under the rain of gunfire directed at her, landing a few feet from Bucky. She stretched out her sword, sliding the edge through the small space next to the tigger, lifting the gun and hurling it in Bucky’s direction. 

He caught it effortlessly, overlapping his metal fingers atop the dead man’s butchered hand and pressing the barrel to one agent’s skull. He made quick work at taking out three of the men, evening the playing field enough to overpower the men. He shouted as he forced himself forward, his pure brute force powerful enough to throw back a few of the men. 

Taking advantage of their stupor, he hammered his fist into the face of the agent next to him, causing blood to spill from his nose as he stumbled back. Bringing his elbow back into the next man, he knocked him unconscious before breaking free. Bucky pivoted on his heel to attack the agent hurling themselves at him once more. His hands came to fist the straps of the man’s uniform, thrusting him up into the ceiling and shattering the fluorescent light above them. The agent fell into a pile on the floor, the glass from the light scattering over his unconscious form. 

Y/n launched to her feet, slamming her knee into the chest of another man forcing him into the wall before driving her sword into his chest. Once retracting the blade, he sunk to the ground smearing blood down the wall as he collapsed. Quickly returning to her feet, she sprinted a few feet, pounding her foot into the wall as she vaulted over the next man, slicing his throat as she went.

“You stupid bitch!” A voice shouted over the chaos, catching Y/n’s attention. She tilted her head as she looked at him, the white lenses in her mask widening. 

“Excuse me, shit brains? Since I’m an Avenger now that’s terrorism right?” She questioned, turning to Bucky. Noticing he was occupied she rounded back to the man, narrowing her eyes at him. “As Scoutmaster Kevin once told me many years ago.” Y/n took large strides as she made her way to him, murderous intent rolling off of her in waves as she wiped the blood from her sword onto her leather clad forearm. 

“I’m about to fuck your shit up." 

The man howled in pain as she pelted her sword into his knee, the sharpened blade piercing through his kneecap and burying itself into the floor behind him. Y/n ran forward, kicking the blade further in causing the joint to snap with a sickening crunch. 

Grabbing hold of the man’s head, she flew forward, flipping over him as she balanced her weight on his already unsteady form. She landed behind him, pulling his head back with a harsh tug. Knocking out his other knee, she forced him down, bringing her other katana to his throat while her foot rose to settle between his shoulder blades. In one swift movement, she pushed him down, digging her blade into his neck with a satisfying slice. 

Bucky met her eye as the man dropped, the gurgling from his throat echoing through the hall. Bucky’s gaze was surprised but not disgusted. Instead he marveled at the sight of her, astonished by Y/n’s display of atrocious violence yet fierce beauty. Never had he seen anything like it before Y/n entered his life and while he should’ve been horrified by half of the things she did he couldn’t. Because ever since she joined their team she had only done those things to destroy the same organization that had destroyed him. And he couldn’t get enough. 

Y/n looked away, flustered under his gaze. She couldn’t handle the way he sent chills down her spine and butterflies to her stomach. It was cliche but it was happening and she refused to face it. "I see the elevator.” She told him, catching sight of the leader trying to run out of the corner of her eye. Her head whipped around, her hand reaching forward to grab the blade still plunged in the dead man’s knee before chucking it at the escapee. 

The sword sunk into his skull pinning him to the wall as Bucky took out the remaining men beside him. “We have to hurry, our cover’s been blown and Sam can’t wait around for too long.” Y/n nodded in acknowledgement, sheathing her sword as he came to stand next to her. 

Y/n glanced around at the bodies scattered around the hall. It was quite a scene, blood splattered along the walls and floor, bullet holes littering the plaster and the light fixture above them flickering wildly as it struggled to keep the hall lit. 

“Oh, I am so touching myself tonight.” Y/n groaned at the sight making a soft pink flush across Bucky’s cheeks. The mere thought of it sent blood rushing to his face and he shifted awkwardly as it rushed to other places as well. But before he could mumble an embarrassed response, shouts from more agents echoed down the hall cutting short any sort of awkward conversation he could have mustered. He quickly shuffled through the corpses, dragging Y/n along with him as she quickly plucked her other sword from the man’s skull.  

They ran around the corner coming up on the elevator fast. The agents giving chase were catching up and Bucky urged Y/n in front of him, instinctively trying to protect her. Once reaching the elevator, he ripped open the doors, too distracted by the growing danger the agents presented to notice the fact that the elevator wasn’t even there as he stepped forward. 

But Y/n noticed and she quickly grabbed him, spinning them to where he was out of the way. However in the process she forced herself over the edge, falling back clumsily. 

For a split second Bucky reached forward, trying desperately to catch her but she was already falling. She slipped through his fingers dropping the eleven floors to the bottom of the elevator shaft, landing with a sickening thud. 

Bucky choked on his breath, staring down at her still and twisted form as his heart clenched in his chest. Flashbacks of his own fall began to overwhelm his already cluttered mind and he almost wanted to scream. 

It was 2 agonizing seconds before she moved, a loud shout echoing through the shaft. 

“Motherfucker! I think I just shat my spleen!” Y/n moaned, rolling onto her side. Bucky let out a relieved chuckle and looked behind him, mumbling his own curse before jumping down after her. His metal arm grasped onto the cables, slowing his fall but the screeching of metal on metal seemed to amplify in the confined space. 

Once reaching the bottom he jumped off, crouching down beside her as her blood began to pool around her head. “Shit! I don’t know what hurt more, falling eleven stories or listening to your arm! It’s like two tractors trying to- Fuck!” She cried as his arms slid under her body, pulling her up against his chest. 

“I found the elevator.” Y/n laughed dryly as she pointed above them, the said elevator hanging a few floors above the floor they had been on. “How convenient.” She mumbled, glaring up at the air as if focusing her annoyance toward a certain writer who enjoyed torturing her readers. 

Bucky was oblivious to her turmoil, instead shaking his head at his stupidity and cursing himself for letting his feelings for her distract him. It was his fault she fell. Is this how guilty Steve had felt?

“We’ll have to have Sam meet us on the ground instead.” Bucky grunted, kicking open the doors to the ground level. He ran out into the room, his grip on Y/n remaining firm as he headed to the exit. 

“Nothing like falling 100 or so feet to get you going, am I right?” Y/n snickered at her own joke, trying to ignore the erratic beating of her heart as his cologne invaded her senses. 

They made it out, the sky blooming in a beautiful shade of orange as the sun began to set. Y/n admired it for a moment, smiling when the quinjet came into view. Allowing her to slip out of his arms, Bucky planted his hands on her waist to insure she was steady before bashfully shying away as Sam landed. 

“Come on!” He shouted, opening the back ramp for them. Bucky followed Y/n as she ran up to the jet and climbed up the ramp, keeping an eye behind them as the HYDRA agents ran outside. The ramp closed just in time and Y/n let out a relieved laugh as she fell onto the bench inside, whopping amusingly. 

“Well, that was a shit show. Got this little fucker though.” She grunted, pulling the drive out of one of her pockets before handing it over to Sam. He accepted it, eyeing her with a rare look of concern. 

“What the hell happened to you?" 

"Decided to take a swan dive off the eleventh floor. Not my highest record but still fucked me in the ass.” She laughed, tugging off her mask. Her hair was matted and bloody, sticking up in one spot from her mask but any effort at soothing it was pointless. The scarred tissue around her lips and nose contorted in discomfort and sweat had coated her brow from their fight. 

She was healing already but it didn’t ease her any as her bones reset and her organs reformed. It was an excruciating process but she didn’t complain, instead pulling out her gun and observing it as Bucky sat down next to her. 

“Who’s balls I gotta fondle to get some tacos? I’m starving.” She nagged, dropping her mask and gun on the floor before stretching out across the bench on her stomach. Her head rested on Bucky’s leg making his blood run cold as her chin brushed the inside of his thigh. 

“You offering?” Sam replied, raising a suggestive brow as Y/n’s new position. 

“You wish.” Y/n winked at him, making Sam shake his head disapprovingly. 

“Eh, you’re not my type.” He insisted, sharing a playful glare with her. They had a confusing relationship but most of her relationships were. Sam didn’t hesitate to tease her or join in on her pranks, much to Bucky’s chagrin. Y/n rather enjoyed Sam’s company and she knew he felt the same though they seemed to hate each other. 

“I’m nobody’s type, Warren Worthington. I’m kinda the, 'if I squint really hard I can pretend you’re the non-blue version of Mystique- Lawrence not Romijn- so I’ll fuck you’ kinda gal.” She rambled, not caring to explain who the hell she was talking about. But she didn’t have to. Bucky was already frowning. 

Y/n wasn’t lacking confidence, no that was the one thing she had an abundance of. She knew exactly what people thought of her horribly scarred body and she chose not to give a shit. But what upset Bucky the most was the fact that she believed herself to be unwanted. Did she truly believe that she was undesirable or was she just joking? 

“Want some?” Y/n questioned beside him, holding up a small white package labelled 'Y/n’s cocaine’. He shook his head, his brows furrowing as he wondered why on Earth she thought that moment was a good time to offer him cocaine. Or how any time was the right time.  

She shrugged, ripping open the bag and pouring some of the white powder into her gloved hand and inhaling it harshly. He winced at the sight but her drug problem wasn’t the cause of his downcast expression. Rather the fact that the beautiful woman who had introduced herself as Deadpool seemed to be oblivious to his feelings. 

Bucky couldn’t get the sick feeling to subside the whole way back to the newly rebuilt compound. 

•••

“Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what’s my weakness? Men!” Y/n sang along, ignoring the strange looks from the man in the elevator as she danced along with the song blaring on her portable radio. “Ok then, chillin’, chillin’, mindin’ my business." 

The elevator opened on the floor where most living quarters and showers were kept, hers included and she stepped out with a bit of a jig as she kept pace with the beat. "Yo, Salt, I looked around, and I couldn’t believe this. I swear, I stared, my niece, my witness.” The soft patter of her feet down the hall was soothing as she lifted her arms above her head, swaying slightly with the music as she twirled, barely missing the agent who was coming out of his own room. 

“The brother had it goin’ on with somethin’ kinda, uh. Wicked, wicked had to kick it

I’m not shy so I asked for the digits.” Y/n rolled her shoulder rhythmically as she side-stepped past him, keeping her moves swift and joyful as she danced along to the song. The showers weren’t too far now but her loud music was slowly catching the attention of people who had already called it a night, summoning them out into the hall. 

“A ho? No, that don’t make me. See what I want slip slide to it swifty. Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks.” Y/n’s heart skipped a beat as Bucky stepped out into the hall. He was dressed in a much more comfortable looking attire of sweatpants and a t-shirt and while it was plain it still sent a familiar tingle to her core. 

Opting to push aside her unwelcomed feelings toward the man, she continued on deciding to have a little fun with it as she went. 

“Then I flipped for a tip, make me wanna do tricks for him.” She spoke along to the song, making eye contact with Bucky as she did. His eyes seemed to glue to her hips, watching them with a guilty expression, the gentleman in him fighting his obvious stares. He tried with all his might to drag his gaze elsewhere, only managing to lift them to her half-masked face with a flustered expression. 

“Lick him like a lollipop should be licked.” Y/n winked, flicking her tongue sensually. The line sent a deep flush to his cheeks as she came to stand before him, her fingers racking his t-shirt. 

“Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit. Don’t know how you do the voodoo that you do. So well it’s a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop.” Y/n smirked, spinning on the ball of her foot and walking off toward the showers, a bit of a pep in her step as she left Bucky absolutely flabbergasted. 

The music faded along with the scent of her perfume and Bucky lingered on the senses, his heart racing wildly. He was so distracted in fact that when Sam crept up beside him, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he followed after Y/n, he didn’t even try to object. For now he would bask in what was left of her presence and the frantic pace of his heart. 

But he couldn’t enjoy the feeling for long. 

•••

“Sam!" 

Bucky knew he would regret not stopping his birdbrained friend. Said perpetrator now ran full speed down the hall toward the kitchen, arms cradling Y/n’s suit urgently. Sam sprinted behind Bucky, hoping his super soldier best friend might be able to spare him his life as the raging Merc with a Mouth made her way to him. 

Poor Bucky didn’t even have time to process what Sam’s arms held before, Y/n came storming in clad in only her mask, water dripping from her untucked hair and other areas. "Sam, you dick kicking fucktard! Give me my fucking suit, now!” Bucky tried in vain to shield his eyes but it was too late. He had seen enough to fuel his fantasies for the rest of his life and any hope at burying his painfully unreciprocated feelings were now dead. 

“No! You practically live in this thing, it’s disgusting!” Sam yelled back, climbing onto the counter to stuff the suit behind the fridge. “You’re banned from it until you wash it!" 

"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?! You crammed it in further than a priest goes into a 6 year old boy!” Y/n screamed back, marching threateningly over to the counter where Sam stood. 

Bucky didn’t know what he admired more, her lack of shame as she paraded around in the nude or her lack of remorse as she grabbed Sam’s ankle, brutally yanking him and causing him to crash onto the hard surface. 

“Motherfucker! I did not come down here and ruin that poor teenage boy’s virgin eyes for you to be a punk ass bitch!” She screamed, pointing in the direction she had just come from. Sam groaned, sparing a glance in the direction. 

“What’s Spiderbrat doing here?” He huffed, gripping his ribs tightly as he tried to rise from the ground. 

“I don’t know.” Bucky mumbled, putting his hand against his temple as he attempted to remove the soaked Y/n from his sights. 

“Spiderman?! That was Spiderman?! I have an obligation to the fans!” Y/n cheered excitedly before spinning around and running off down the hall. “Wait Spidey!” She cried, her feet slapping the tile in wet smacks. 

“I swear to God if she takes his virginity. Y/n!” Sam yelled after her, flying up from the ground and speeding after her. Y/n screamed as she slipped, a loud crash echoing down the hall as Sam cried out in pain. 

Bucky practically shook as he struggled to erase her from his mind. He couldn’t do this to himself. It was in her nature to be inappropriate and flirtatious. He couldn’t allow himself to read into it. He couldn’t handle the rejection.  

•••

Bucky needed some air. He had sat in his room for an hour trying to recover his composure. His heart still raced and his face hurt from how much he had been blushing but nothing seemed to stop it. 

Venturing up to the roof wasn’t like him. Usually he would go on a run or try his luck at the training room but today he wanted to just sit alone and think. However once reaching the roof he found that wouldn’t be the case. 

Y/n hummed quietly along to her radio, swinging her feet cheerfully over the edge of the building as she sewed back together the bullet holes in her recovered suit. It was a routine of hers, one she only started to develop when Blind Al refused to do it anymore. 

Bucky stepped forward quietly, not recognizing the tune but loving the way it sounded from her. She wore a simple pair of shorts and tank top, exposing much of her scarred skin but not as much as he had seen earlier. He was grateful she unknowingly took pity on him but covering up, coming to stand a few feet behind her. 

Tying off the sting, she reached over to the box of band-aids, pulling out a Hello Kitty themed one before slapping it on over the stitch. Y/n cheered out triumphantly, holding up her suit to inspect it before draping it over the ledge beside her. A half eaten burrito was set on her other side and she absently reached for it, taking a bite out of it as she bobbed her head to the music. 

“You wanna bite?” She questioned, mouth still full with the food. Bucky mentally cursed himself for being caught but gave into her offer, coming to stand beside her. She handed him her burrito and he hesitantly took it, biting into it carefully. 

“You owe me 5 bucks. That show you got downstairs wasn’t free.” Y/n smirked, lighting the tense atmosphere a little. Looking up at her, he had no choice when a smile crept onto his face. Everything about her seemed to fill him with a giddy excitement, like riding a roller coaster. Y/n was a roller coaster of a person. 

“Only 5 bucks. Little cheap if you ask me.” He replied smoothly, earning a giggle from her. She shrugged shamelessly, swinging her legs over to his side of the ledge. 

“Gave you the ol’ bestie discount. Pay 10 dollars more and I’ll even throw in a night of your wildest dreams.” Y/n winked, hating how much she adored the pink that dusted his cheeks. 

He shook his head with a light chuckle. “No, I wouldn’t want it to happen like that.” He replied, flinching at his own words. Her brow furrowed but judging by his mortified expression she decided to leave it alone. 

Grabbing his hand she gestured for him to sit next to her and he did, climbing up cautiously as she turned back around. It was strangely soothing on the edge, the risk of falling sending a small thrill through them. Y/n had a way of giving him tiny bursts of joy, something he’d never experienced before. Not for a very long time. 

He couldn’t begin to describe the way she could make his heart race with a simple glance. In training when she takes him down he finds the fact that she could end him with ease peculiarly enticing. He’d experienced a variety of experimental drugs but never the recreational type. Though he imagined the high he’d receive would be very similar to how Y/n made him feel. 

She gave him a buzz that he slowly began to crave. Life before her just seemed so dull and he never wanted to go back to that. He’d become a bit of an addict for her presence and he felt safe in doing so. Losing her to the ravages of battle as he had so many before was impossible and Bucky felt that his feelings toward her could help him move on. 

The breeze flushed against their bodies, turning Y/n’s attention to the stars flickering above. The way she gazed up beside him, reminded Bucky of dates he had in the 40s. They were simple and sweet, always ending with a soft peck to his cheek or lips.

Imagining Y/n on one of these dates was like seeing a pig fly but he didn’t care. His old life was gone and no one helped him move on from it better than Y/n even if she was unaware. In the past women were polite and lovable and Y/n was anything but. 

She was foul mouthed and wildly inappropriate, constantly saying things he would’ve never dreamed of hearing from the women he used to date. Her dark humor was wrong and he still struggled to understand it at times. She killed without hesitation or remorse and in the most gruesome ways one could imagine, not giving the action a second thought. All of this was new to him and while at first he disliked everything she stood for, he couldn’t help but fall in love with her as time passed. 

She was everything that was so new to him, yet still carrying the underlying characteristics he loved so much. She was brave and reckless, willing to give her life for others. Her morals were still there yet buried deep within her, never to be exposed unless she encountered something truly corrupt. 

Her decisions were rash and not thought through, her lack of mortality seeming to make most situations trivial to her. But he suspected she was like that even before her mutation. Despite her carelessness in battle, she cared so much more than she’d let anyone know. People she considered friends, need never fear any danger for she would eliminate any threat that dared show its face. 

But what he loved the most was her strength. While her physical abilities were amazing and dared outmatch his own, he loved her emotional strength more. She had experienced so much pain, like he had but she still managed to smile. Still managed to make him smile. And he loved her for it. 

“Thank you for saving my life today.” He spoke earnestly. Y/n shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, gazing out over the city. 

“No worries. Couldn’t have ya becoming a pancake, now could we?” She laughed, trying to mask the true worry that started to set in. What if he had fallen instead of her? What would she have done?

'Probably would have gone after him.’ Y/n sighed silently, knowing it was true. 

“No, I guess not.” Bucky offered a smile, hoping she didn’t notice the guilt in his eyes. Another uncomfortable silence settled over them but Y/n didn’t seem to mind. 

“You’re beautiful.” Bucky mumbled quietly, almost timid under her stunned stare. He didn’t regret saying it, only wishing he had said it more often. 

The way the night sky accented her face was glorious even though she was scarred. Her scars had never really been an issue to him. The first time he had seen them she was reluctant but understood their need to see the person behind the mask to gain their full trust. He hadn’t been anticipating such intense scars but he wasn’t repulsed by them. In fact he thought she was breathtaking and he wondered just how different she had looked without them. 

When she explained how the scarring had come to be, telling them that her disfigurement was actually because of her cancerous cells mutating, he felt sorry for her. He knew what it was like to be tortured until he became something else and he hated the idea of her experiencing it as well. Yet even through all that she insisted she was 'a sexy motherfucker’ and he couldn’t help but agree. 

Her hair swayed with the breeze, falling gracefully around her face and outlining her shocked expression as she tried to figure out if he had really complimented her or if she had just misheard him over the music. The glimmer of sincerity in his eyes caused her heart to leap, making it harder to reply. 

Her eyes were her most beautiful feature. The one thing that hadn’t changed since her mutation and he found that he was able to read her better through her eyes. Whether or not her eyes displayed the same enjoyment her smile showed, told him everything he needed to know since she covered almost everything about her with some smartass remark. Her eyes gave her away. Her eyes were everything. 

“Thank you.” Y/n whispered, unable to piece together any sort of snarky reply. She couldn’t even break her stare as she gazed into his compassionate eyes. A tug at her heart pulled her toward him and as much as she tried to fight it she couldn’t shake it. 

Bucky felt it too as he cautiously leaned forward, his metal hand coming to caress her cheek as his eyes absently dropped to her lips. Her breath flushed over his own sending chills along his skin. Their lips ghosted over one another, barely brushing in the tenderest of touches. 

Yet a sudden change of song sent Y/n tearing herself from his grasp, a crestfallen expression taking place of her once longing gaze. The upbeat tune rattled her to the core, dredging up the memories she so desperately tried to subdue. 

We're talking away.

I don't know what, I'm to say. 

I'll say it anyway. 

Today's another day to find you

“What? What’s wrong?” Bucky gasped, pulling away with a concerned frown as he reached out to hold her arms. She shied away from his touch, making him instantly retract his hands, fear of hurting her flashing across his face. 

“No, uh, I’m okay. I’m sorry I’m just-I…” she trailed off trying to find the words to blame it on herself. She knew Bucky still feared the Soldier that lurked in the darkest parts of his mind, waiting for the right moment to break free and destroy everything and everyone he cared for. She knew she was one of those people. And she knew she had just terrified him by moving away but she couldn’t help it. 

“I’m not ready for this." 

Shying away. 

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me. Take me on.

I'll be gone. In a day or two

"I’m not ready for something meaningful. I’m not ready for you." 

Bucky’s face fell at her confession, shifting away from her. She wanted to reach out or say something, anything to make him stay but the ever growing guilt in her heart rendered her speechless. 

She couldn’t do this. Not to Bucky. Not to herself. And not to Wade. 

But she couldn’t stay silent. 

"I had a boyfriend.” She spoke, her voice shaky and fragile. Bucky froze, unable to lift his gaze to her. “His name was Wade. I was with him before I got cancer and he was there when I got diagnosed. He was there when I refused treatments and he was still there when I became this.” She gestured to herself, deciding to spare Bucky the story of her avoiding Wade for all that time because she feared how he’d react when he saw what she had become. 

Much like Bucky, Wade didn’t care and after she saved him from Francis, they somehow made a life together. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought of him, his loving gaze and dirty mouth bringing a bittersweet smile to her face. 

“His crazy matched my crazy, big time. A real ride or die type. Oh, that man’s mouth could make me sound like a nun. And we were going to start a life together.” She hastily wiped the beginning of her tears as Bucky listened quietly beside her. “But I was reckless and arrogant and I got him killed before we could." 

The hurt Bucky felt from her rejection was slowly starting to fade as she explained, his intense emotions starting to morph into sympathy. 

"I loved him more than anything in this life and no matter what I did, I couldn’t get back to him. Immortality is a bitch like that but I thought, maybe just maybe if I somehow managed to destroy myself completely, I would be with him again. But nothing worked.” Her voice broke as her emotions overcame her. 

It took everything Bucky had to not pull her into his arms right there and hold her until she couldn’t stand it anymore. But he couldn’t. Her heart still belonged to the man who made her into who she was and he had to respect that, however painful it was. 

So needless to say. 

I'm odds and ends. 

But I'll be stumbling away. 

Slowly learning that life is okay.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky mumbled, unsure of what else to say. He’d experienced loss before but never something that made him want to end his life. For 70 years he lacked the freedom to do so and now that he did, he wanted to live for himself. Wanted to experience everything that had been taken from him. 

But now it was Y/n that lacked freedom. She was brave enough to venture into the unknown for Wade only to be dragged back by her immortality. The two were very different, as they always had been. And while Bucky thought it made them better together, Y/n could only see it as a reason to stay apart. 

Wade was her other half, her soulmate. Bucky could never replace him. And she could never ask him to. 

“It’s not your fault.” Her reply was sincere but dulled, as if the automatic response wasn’t what she wanted to say yet happened to be the only thing she could manage. She wanted to say so much more. She wanted to tell Bucky that while Wade was her first and most beloved partner, it didn’t mean he was her only. 

Ignoring the way Bucky made her feel was growing more difficult and try as she might she couldn’t deny it any longer. She loved Bucky. 

From the very beginning she had been hooked by the super soldier and every tragic thing that had happened to him. She loved his rare but breathtaking smile, the one that made her dizzy and weak at the knees. She loved the moments when he’d let his frustration out through hushed swears and absolutely adored the times he’d remind her that his vocab was that of an army man from the 1940s. He could spout off a string of profanities that would make a sailor cower and even though he always apologized after, the action only made her feel more at home among the team. 

She loved what a gentleman he was, even to her, who was as unladylike as they came. He’d never hesitate to go out of his way to do little chivalrous acts that made her heart race and it only made her crave the 40s man more and more. 

But what she loved most of all was how much he understood her. He knew what it was like to be forced to the breaking point until he became something he wasn’t. He knew what it was like to not trust your own mind and for that Y/n loved him. 

But she still loved Wade more. 

Say after me. 

It's no better to be safe than sorry

Take on me. Take me on. 

I'll be gone. In a day or two.

“Bucky, I-" 

A familiar feeling stopped Y/n dead in her tracks. A sense that told her something was wrong and one she had only felt the night she lost Wade. It was like the world around her slowed down and all she could hear was the frantic beating of her heart as she looked out into the open night air. 

A jet engine roared through the sky, coming faster than Bucky could react in his moment of weakness. Fortunately Y/n was much faster, grabbing hold of the super soldier and dragging him off the ledge. They ran across the rooftop, ducking back behind the small concrete entrance that housed the elevator back down to the building. 

A harsh explosion followed not too soon after they had seeked cover and Bucky moved forward, bracing her against the wall as he did his best to keep her steady as the building rattled on impact. Heat enveloped them and Y/n tried her best to ignore the heat rising to her own face, being pressed so close to Bucky’s chest. 

The jet flew past the building and into view, rounding back for another attack. Y/n watched it with wide eyes as it flew straight at them, readying another missile. 

"Look out!” She screamed, tugging furiously at Bucky’s t-shirt as she dragged them to the other side of the concrete housing. They moved fast, making sure to stay ducked down to avoid becoming more of a target than they already were. 

Thankfully for them, the jet didn’t strike the roof, allowing them to slip into the elevator and begin the descent to the rest of the compound. The aftermath of both explosions shook throughout the building and the lights inside the car had turned red, telling all those in the building that they were on high alert. 

“It is those HYDRA fucks? What do they want?” Y/n questioned. Bucky didn’t reply at first, silently calculating their next move. It was a cold reaction but something he couldn’t quite shake from his Winter Soldier days. 

“They’re here for the drive.” He answered finally as the doors opened up to reveal the lab floor. Sam ran to them frantically, leaving the two scientists to back up files and technology in case the attack went too far. 

“Good! You’re here. I’m going out to try and stall the jet, you guys get a quinjet and meet me outside.” Sam instructed, heading into the elevator only to have Bucky grab his arm. 

“Sam, they want the drive. They won’t stop until they have it.” Bucky explained carefully, his eyes returning to the seriousness they always had during missions. 

Sam shook his head, “What do you expect us to do? Hand it over?” He questioned. Bucky shook his head, all the plans he was able to put together ending in failure. There had to be something. 

“What if they think the drive is destroyed?" 

Bucky and Sam turned to Y/n, mutual looks of confusion taking hold of their features as she glanced back at the lab. The scientists had finished up and we’re now rushing past them to the elevator but Y/n’s eye caught something else. The drive was placed in a small container, Stark tech of some kind to make sure no external sources could get to it. 

"How would we do that? They’re not gonna take our word for it.” Sam protested. Y/n was already making her way to the drive, her own plan forming as she went. Bucky moved to follow her but she quickly turned around, as if sensing what he was doing. 

“Sam take Bucky with you. Distract the HYDRA assholes for as long as you can while I transfer the drive’s info to the safe house. Follow my lead.” Y/n demanded, rushing over to the desk which held the drive. 

“No way, I’m staying with-” Bucky was about to object but another explosion quaked the building, sending him back into the elevator. Sam grabbed hold of his arm before Bucky could react and the elevator closed, leaving Y/n alone. 

Bucky yelled out, forcing himself toward the buttons but Sam’s grip was tight and Bucky found he didn’t have the energy to fight him. Y/n’s plan would work, they always did. But he feared what she might do to herself in the process. 

“Why would you do that!?” Bucky shouted, trying to make up for his lack of fight through his words. Sam didn’t answer knowing Bucky was being irrational. Y/n insisted again and again she could do 'shit they’ve never seen’ as she fondly put it, but it hurt Bucky everytime he couldn’t save her. 

He’d watched her 'die’ countless times and each time he couldn’t do anything. It trudged up memories he’d rather forget. Memories of protecting Steve and still losing him to the one thing he couldn’t fight-…time. Memories of the helplessness he felt during his time at HYDRA. Memories of losing his old self, a part of him he’d never be able to save or recover. 

Bucky stormed through the hangar, heading toward the first quinjet he saw. It took every ounce of self control he could muster to not rip the door off the machinery but he managed to climb in, leaving the jet unscathed. 

Sam flew ahead with a couple of agents in their own quinjet while Bucky followed behind, ultimately taking his own route straight toward the attacking jet. He knew their technology well and knew the weakest points to hit but even if he took out this jet, another one would take its place eventually. There had to be a way to insure they wouldn’t come back. Maybe if he went back and took out the new boss? No, someone would rise up and take his place. 

His eyes narrowed as he began his attack on the jet, using the large guns installed within the aircraft. The HYDRA jet instantly maneuvered away from the shots but Bucky anticipated it and moved with them, raining as much fire as he could on them. 

But before he could advance on them any further, another quinjet launched out of the hangar, flying past at breakneck speeds. Bucky’s heart dropped when he heard Y/n over the radio. 

“Listen here you HYDRA nutsacks. If you want the drive, you’re gonna have to come get it. And I don’t play fair.” She taunted over the frequency, urging the enemy jet to follow her as she raced away from the building and Bucky. 

As she had expected the jet followed, sparing no expense as they hastily rushed through Bucky and Sam’s attacks. Nothing mattered but the drive and Bucky wished he had thought their mission through a bit more. He didn’t even know what was on the drive let alone how far HYDRA would go to get it back. 

But he soon found out how far they’d go to ensure their enemies didn’t have it. 

“Y/n, look out!” Bucky cried, unable to stop himself. He knew what Y/n was planning. She was meant to go down in the plane. But he wanted to stop it, hell at this point he would rather give the drive up. Y/n’s powers were amazing, yes but he couldn’t help but feel that one day her luck would run out, that one day she just wouldn’t come back the same. She’d be horribly changed like he had been. A monster. 

He couldn’t bare to see her become that. 

Y/n skillfully flipped the jet, steering a harsh right as the HYDRA jet stayed close on her tail. “Get the others out of here. I can handle this!” She called, keeping her words careful as to not alert the enemy of her plan. 

Sam listened, turning away to lead the other quinjet back to the headquarters but Bucky couldn’t. It wasn’t fair. He knew what it was like to die and come back and he couldn’t understand why Y/n was so willing. At first it was noble, giving her life for his but then she did it again and again. 

Bucky was terrified for her. Terrified she wouldn’t be Y/n anymore. And terrified of the reason she kept destroying herself. 

“Bucky go back! This isn’t your fight!” Y/n yelled at him, switching to a frequency only they could hear. 

“The hell it isn’t! The only reason you’ve been fighting HYDRA is because of me. I’m the fucking asshole that keeps leading you straight into harm’s way when I’m supposed to protect you!” He fought, following behind the chase.

Y/n groaned, frustrated by his insistence on keeping her safe. She didn’t need to be safe, if anything he should be protecting everyone else from her. “I never asked you to protect me! Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?!” Angry tears began to well in her eyes but she rapidly blinked them away, keeping her focus on the jet behind her as she began her trek up into the sky. 

Maybe if she flew high enough the HYDRA jet would stall long enough for her to get an advantage? 

“You know why!” Bucky spoke, his tone matching her own agitation. He really hoped he didn’t have to say it. Saying it at all was nerve-wracking but saying it in the middle of a fight? How could he spring that on her?

Y/n’s heart dropped as her grip tightened on the yoke. His words shot through her like a thousand bullets but she found herself unable to recover from it. It was all too familiar. Too depressing. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” Y/n replied, praying to whoever had control of her miserable life that Bucky was mistaken. Maybe decades of being touch starved and deprived of love had made him think he cared about her. 

Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. 

“I love you, Y/n! Fuck you always make things so difficult and you never take anything seriously but I love you more than I’ve ever loved someone. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you but you keep dying before I can show you that." 

His confession was rough and forceful but still so heartfelt. Y/n wanted to cry at how much it reminded her of Wade’s but she didn’t allow her tears to consume her. Only pushed herself and the quinjet through the atmosphere, watching in the display as the HYDRA jet began to fall. 

"Please, say something.” Bucky pleaded, his voice fragile and broken. He knew rejection was imminent. Their talk on the roof told him that she wouldn’t accept his feelings. But he needed to get it out, needed to tell her before she died. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” She replied quietly before switching off her radio. Silence fell over the jet as she allowed the engine to shut off. Bucky flew past her, further into space, having not anticipated her sudden drop. 

She was alone again, free falling toward the earth once more like she had mere hours before. Although this fall would be much more fatal. More destructive. 

As she angled her jet straight toward the enemy jet, switching back on her engine and accelerating at deadly speeds, she found herself without a single comment. 

Not one word slipped past her lips as flames consumed her before she could even feel the impact. 

•••

The apartment was familiar. It was an apartment she had left to Weasel when she made a more permanent stay at the compound. She still visited from time to time but it didn’t look like this anymore. No, this place still had the messy bed with scribbled words on the chalkboard above it. It still had the colorful table and the warming sunlight shining through, a light Weasel usually blocked with curtains. Still had the memory wall full of pictures of her and Wade, a wall that was now bare. 

This was her and Wade’s home. 

“Red?” His voice rang out like heavenly bells and Y/n’s head whipped toward the sound. There he was, seated in the leather chair near the window. He looked just like he had the night she lost him. His hair was short and barely styled, having only grown a small amount in the time she had known him. There was a small amount of stubble along his lower face but his next words quickly dominated her observations. 

“What are you doing here?” She didn’t answer, wanting to study his face as long as she could. She wanted to refresh her mind with the image of his loving eyes and adorning smile. Wanted to forever remember the slit in his eyebrow from a long forgotten fight and the way his hands gripped the arms of the chair as he stood. 

“I died…again. I know you said it wasn’t my time but I just hoped, maybe this time it was?” Y/n spoke carefully, stepping forward, finding that the clothes she had worn seconds before had been replaced with one of Wade’s large t-shirts. 

Instead of moving to hold her and tell her she was right, that her time had finally come, he let his gaze fall. Her heart clenched in her chest and angry tears filled her eyes but she refused to allow them to fall, refused to let her chance at seeing Wade be cut short by her uncontrollable tears. 

“Who’s in charge of all this shit? Who fucked us over so bad that we can never be together?” Y/n snapped, turning her teary gaze toward the ground. She couldn’t bare to stare at the blurred wall separating her from Wade. Couldn’t stand to show up here time and time again only to be refused the one person she wanted most. 

“I don’t know, baby. Trust me if I did, you wouldn’t be there and I wouldn’t be here.” His voice was almost like a forgotten memory and Y/n hated her mind for allowing it to slip so far from her thoughts. He always spoke to her with such a tenderness, a tenderness he never used with anyone else. 

“I wanna stay with you.” Y/n pleaded, struggling to lift her eyes from the floor. Wade had begun to frown at her wish. She didn’t know why.

It was a sad frown like he wanted so desperately to agree but couldn’t. Wade knew his love still had a purpose in life and he couldn’t be selfish by asking her to stay. In the end nothing could make her stay, even if she begged for it on her knees. Because she still had a life waiting for her. A life without him. 

“Things are complicated now.” Wade tried to explain, moving closer to her. This wasn’t what Y/n wanted to hear and she stood in place, not moving an inch as hurt overcame her. 

“What do you mean?” Y/n questioned, trying not to sound as vulnerable as she knew she was. She wanted it to be over. To finally get the life with Wade she never had. But she could feel something tugging her back. It grew stronger with each passing second and she knew soon it’d reclaim her. But the feeling didn’t make her angry. She wasn’t upset. 

The feeling was overwhelming but in a good way. Like when someone says 'I love you’ for the first time. 

“Bucky.” Wade confessed suddenly, dragging Y/n’s attention away from the tug.  

“What-…?" 

"He loves you. You know that. Our times up baby.” His voice was miserable but stern. They never spoke so seriously before, even in the previous times she’d reached him in the afterlife. Every word was true even if it was his worst nightmare. And Y/n knew how much it pained him to say it. 

“No it can’t. I-” She tried to argue but found that there were no words to dismiss it. The tug was getting more powerful and familiarity washed over her. The tug was Bucky. He was her tether to the world and as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t let him go. 

But she couldn’t let Wade go either. 

“He loves you and as much as I want to do horrible, horrible things to him, I can’t. He can love you, hold you- fuck, he could give you a baby. All the things I can’t anymore.” Wade’s voice cracked and Y/n’s own tears began to fall, shaking her head at the mere thought of letting anyone other than him love her like that. 

“I need you to let me go before this gets too hard.” Wade begged. 

It broke Y/n to see him so lost, so shattered. This hurt him just as much as it hurt her but he was strong enough to push on. To tell her what she knew she needed to do, even if it was the last thing she wanted. 

He’d always been stronger than her. 

“Will we ever be together again?" 

In response, she received no words. Just a smile. A smile that told her everything would be okay. That no matter what happened it would be them against the world, even if she found love from another man. That smile told her more than any verbal answer could and put to rest the longing in her heart. 

"Kiss me like you miss me, Red." 

A bittersweet laughter echoed between them as she looked at him. All the love she’d felt for him was still lingering in her chest and she knew it’d never truly be gone. But another love was still there, one that was growing stronger like the tug she now felt.  

"Well, come here." 

Wade paced forward, moving through the barrier effortlessly and tugged her close to him like he had many times before. Her arms wrapped around the back of his neck as he pulled her up by her thighs, planting his lips on hers without missing a beat. 

Kisses with Wade were always passionate and hot but this one was different. His hold on her was tight like he knew it would be the last and his lips lightly caressed hers, pouring every ounce of adoration he had for her into the kiss. Y/n clung to him like her life depended it, feeling the tug become so powerful she feared she’d be ripped from his arms. When they pulled away there were no words spoken, just a gaze. 

Then she was pulled back. 

•••

When she woke up, she couldn’t feel anything, not even the air that flushed into her exposed lungs. Her chest was slowly piecing itself together and judging by her pounding headache, she figured her skull was doing the same.  

She no longer felt pain the same way others did and while she knew the process of her body morphing back to normal would be excruciating, that pain was dulled to her. All she could focus on was the voice calling out to her. 

It was only then that she looked around at where she was. The ground was cold under her skin, or at least what skin she had feeling in so far. The smoke from the crash was bellowing into the night sky above her but she couldn’t smell it. She was only just beginning to feel the nips of heat from the fire biting at her arms and legs, though she wasn’t sure if they were even attached to her anymore. 

The voice cut through the chaos like a beacon and Y/n couldn’t help but feel relaxed by it. It was soothing and a reassurance of safety came with it. 

Soon the owner of the voice forced his way through the debris, finding her battered body torn apart among the aftermath of the destruction. His eyes flashed with horror but he wasted no time in moving forward, yanking a heavy piece of metal out of her chest to free her. Y/n watched, not even knowing she had been impaled. 

Bucky had seen many horrible scenes before, most of them having been by his own hand but this was terrible. He was unsure if it was the fact that she’d done this to herself or if it was that she was forced to stay alive throughout the entire thing, but either way it unnerved him and he felt the need to get her out of there immediately. 

He grabbed hold of her torso, pulling her up into his arms and taking notice of the fact that one of her legs and ¾ of her left arm was missing along with most of her chest. But despite this she just smiled at him, leaning further into him. 

"Hey, Seb. Oh, wait, fourth wall! Fuck me!” A delusional giggle escaped her and Bucky brushed off her comment, trying to focus on getting her out. He wasn’t sure where her limbs had gone or if he should try to retrieve them but Y/n slowly losing consciousness in his arms urged him to get out of there and he did just that. 

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay. We’ll get you back to the med bay and you’ll be good as new.” He smiled at her and she nodded, knowing he was right. Didn’t make the process of self healing any less uncomfortable. 

But she couldn’t think of that right now. Wade’s words were still fresh in her mind. 

'He loves you. You know that.’

“Bucky.” She croaked, her own anxiety for what she was about to say overpowering everything else. The disaster around her didn’t matter and neither did the cracks in her chest as her ribs reformed. All that mattered was getting her words out before she lost consciousness. Before she lost her nerve. 

“It’s okay, Y/n. I’ll get you out of here.” Bucky assured, dismissing her call. Y/n frowned, reaching to grab hold of his face only to realize her arm had not yet grown back. She cursed silently, looking up at him. That crash was really a bitch. 

“Would you get your head out of your ass and listen to me?” She insisted, hating how vulnerable she was making herself. She hated being so emotionally weak in front of anyone other than Wade but she tried to listen to his wish. Tried to let him go. 

“Look, I care about you, alright?” She confessed, noting the way Bucky’s arms tightened on her and how he stilled instantly. “Ever since they fridged Wade, I never thought I’d care about anyone like I did him. But then you came along with your perfect smile and perfect eyes and ugh-God, why is this so hard?!” A groan escaped her as she let her gaze fall from him. It had always been easy with Wade, they fell into place like puzzle pieces but with Bucky it was harder. More real. 

His fingers curled around her waist, feeling the skin reshaping under his metal fingertips. Y/n was just loopy from the crash, he couldn’t take her confession seriously right? 

“Y/n, I-" 

"I know, I’m sorry. What I did on the roof was wrong, I was just scared-I’m-I’m still scared.” She admitted, her hold on him tightening desperately. Bucky frowned, guilt flooding him for putting her in such a conflicting and uncomfortable situation. 

He should’ve never said anything, should’ve never put her in the position where she had to force herself to move on from a lost love. It was wrong and terribly unfair. 

“Forget it, let’s get you somewhere safe, okay?” He replied, watching as her eyes grew heavy, losing her fight to stay awake. The looked like she wanted to argue but before she could she fell unconscious, allowing him to finally focus on escaping the wreck though his mind was cluttered with guilt and self hatred. 

It wasn’t fair. But then again life never was. 

•••

When Y/n woke up again her body was almost completely healed. Other agents were cautiously refilling the building after ensuring that no other HYDRA attacks were imminent. They had no reason to return after all, the drive was destroyed and as far as they knew, the information had gone down with Y/n. 

Bucky told himself he’d finally look at what the drive held since HYDRA had put up such a fight for it but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Y/n’s bedside. 

She’d been hooked up to several machines that would help her heal, something she’d surely throw a fit about when she awoke. She’d told them plenty of times that she didn’t need the whole 'hospital bullshit’ but it was just procedure. Plus Bucky suspected the medical personnel liked to piss her off as much as she did them. 

He would’ve found her curses amusing when she finally did regain consciousness but his nerves were too great. They’d left off in a serious and rather suspenseful moment and he almost wanted to disappear all together. 

Talking with Y/n was what he’d wanted to do all this time and best case scenario, he’d finally win her over. But he knew the worst case was more likely. He’d always managed to fuck things up and this was no different. 

He was wrong to force his feelings upon her and while he felt guilt and knew he’d be rejected, he wouldn’t have taken it back. It felt freeing to tell her. He was actually relieved she knew how much he cared for her. 

“What in the fuck nuggets is this bullshit?” Y/n snapped suddenly, yanking the IV from her arm and tossing it away from her with an annoyed glare. “I already told you guys-.” She stopped mid sentence, upon seeing Bucky sitting there. 

He looked tired and she wanted to make a joke to ease the nervous stare he directed at her but she couldn’t bring herself too. In the last 24 hours she’d been an emotional train wreck and while her heart screamed to tell Bucky whatever he wanted to hear, she knew things were more complicated than that. 

And deep down he knew that too. 

“Look, about what I said after the crash.” She began, running a hand through her hair. Bucky watched as she did so, hanging onto her every word. He’d remembered what she said or at least what it sounded like she was going to say. But had she meant it or was it out of pity? 

“I want you, okay?” She confessed, expelling all doubt from his mind. She wasn’t one to beat around the bush and quite frankly she was tired of struggling for words. So she spoke from the heart, even if it wasn’t very romantic. “I’ve liked you for a while but-…Wade’s death still hurts.” She continued. 

Bucky sat on the edge of his seat, his heart pounding in his chest as she spoke. It’d been so long since he’d had a chance at love and he already felt as though he’d messed it up. But then again they’d always been a little messy. 

“But I wanna try this. I know I said I wasn’t ready for anything serious but I wanna try us no matter how fucked up we are together.” Y/n told him, reaching for his metal hand and clasping it in both of hers. “I wanna fuck the world with you. I wanna fuck it so hard.” She smiled, earning a laugh from him.  

Her confession was overwhelming and clumsy but he took it like it was. Y/n was an overwhelming person and he was ready for that. He was so ready for whatever mayhem she had to offer. 

“Fuck the world, huh?” He questioned, amused as her eyes lit up with joy. 

“Yeah. You and me, Buck.” She promised, holding his hand tightly. His heart swelled at her words, shifting to sit on the bed with her as she leaned closer to him. 

“Deadpool and Winter Soldier. I kinda like it.” He said, smiling at her as she smirked. Dirty words began to develop on her tongue and before Bucky could even realize what he’d walked himself into, she was leaning toward his ear, her breath brushing his skin and leaving chills in its wake. 

“I bet you’ll like it even more when I say it in bed won’t you, Winter Soldier.” She spoke in his ear, her voice smooth and sultry. His face had flooded red but he refused to let himself get all flustered and speechless. 

There was once a time where he was a lady’s man and while he knew he was probably a little out of date, he was a fast study. And having known Y/n all this time had taught him a few things. 

“Only if you scream it." 

Y/n paused, looking back at him with a mix of shock and pride. She was at a loss for words and Bucky quickly accepted his victory, launching forward and putting his lips on hers. 

Despite her lustful comments her kiss was tender and passionate, a kind of kiss he’d longed from her for some time. A kiss that although hesitant was strong and heartfelt. 

They had some work to do and while their relationship would be chaotic, it was their chaos and he couldn’t ask for anything more. 

"I gotta know something.” Y/n admitted suddenly, pulling away from the kiss. Bucky was a little confused but nodded anyway, wondering what on Earth would be so important. 

“Who taught the Russo brothers about time travel, Endgame was so fucked."   

[ecotone99]

[MS] Becoming the Monster

How do you kill a monster without becoming one, you ask? Well, it’s entirely impossible. Trust me, I should know. How? Well, here we go. I guess I have a story to tell, then.

It was a dark and stormy night. Sorry if this sounds a little cheesy, but it’s the truth. Anyway, I was walking home from work after a long day of school. By the way, I work at the local library. Not really important right now, but I thought I would add it. So anyway, I was exhausted from the day, and literally had no desire or motivation to do anything but sleep, so I was walking slow and dragging my feet, enjoying the rain. I wasn’t far from my house when I heard a noise in the bushes. Now, I lived in Florida at the time, so animals at night were not an uncommon thing, so naturally I ignored the noise. Yup, you guessed it. Big mistake. And not because I instantly got attacked by a roaming hostile alligator, but because what would happen later would haunt me forever.

I noticed nothing else until I arrived home about ten minutes later. My parents were watching TV like normal, and I got ready for bed and went to my room. It was a total pigsty. Everything was destroyed. My bed was in shambles, the sheets ripped into shreds, the bed frame bent and broken. My dresser and nightstand were cracked and the paint was scratched off, and the closet door was hanging from half of one hinge. I immediately rushed downstairs to tell my dad, and he stubbornly trudged up the stairs, convinced I was having a dream. But when he got to the top of the stairs and looked into my room, he stopped and sighed.

“Come on now, don’t play these games with me.”

When I looked into the room, it was completely clean and tidy, no mess to be seen. I know what you’re wondering. How in the history of the world? Yeah, me too. Well here’s what happened. The monster that I ended up killing did it, obviously. But it’s not really a monster. See, we humans believe it to be, but in reality it’s just like a weird sorcerer-witch mix thing that wants things it can’t necessarily have. Like maybe, something I already own. Possibly, I don’t know, my blood?

But none of that matters right now, what matters is how I got around to figuring out what was happening.

The next morning I decided to investigate. I called up a close friend, Kaede, to help me. When she got to my house, I explained everything. How I heard the noise in the bushes when I was walking home, and the weird thing with my dad and my room.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You want me to like, help you hunt ghosts or something? You’re crazy if you think I’ll help you,” Kaede said, totally reluctant.

“Oh, come on,” I said. “It’s not a ghost, just something else, you know?”

“Uh, no, I actually don’t know, sorry.” She turned away to leave, but I wasn’t amused. I kept pushing her to help me and eventually she gave in with the bribe that I would help with her math homework. She was really bad at math so it was a good bribe.

Anyway, we started out by investigating my room. I looked around, examining practically everywhere. Other than a torn up piece of paper with--it seemed like--nothing written on it, I couldn’t find anything. I was getting pretty disappointed when Kaede snatched the piece of paper from my hand and unwrinkled it.

“I saw something, like an ink smudge,” she said. “Ooh, look! It says: ‘Rustle, rustle, whip and whistle, down at the shrub made of crinkled thistle.’”

“Hey, that might be the place where I heard the thing in the bush last night! This is a little creepy, but I do love a good scavenger hunt,” I replied. The thought of following notes placed by a potential serial killer sent a chill down my spine, but I was determined to figure out what was happening. Besides, this story is about me killing the guy, and nobody got anywhere heroic just by being careful.

“Are we really gonna run around getting progressively closer to death?” Kaede said. “I mean, what if this entire thing is a trap because a psychopath knew that you would like the chase?”

Not at all surprised by her cautiousness, I stood stony-eyed, determined to finish this thing through. “I’m gonna go, whether you want to come or not. So choose now because it’s likely you won’t get to change your mind,” I warned.

She jumped up, looking angrier than before. “Well I’m not gonna let you go alone, that’s for sure. We all know how well that’s going to end up.”

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed a backpack and stuffed a few water bottles and blankets. “Just in case,” I said, shrugging.

After Kaede was finished with her sarcastic comments, we headed out to the street. About a quarter-mile from my house I found the spot where I heard the rustling the night before. I ran into the underbrush and searched around for another slip of paper that could hold a clue to the next destination. And yes, now that I look back at it, I very well could have been murdered. Easily. Luckily, the tables turned and I killed the monster. Ahem, back to the story here. So after about ten minutes of frantic searching, I found a leaf with writing on it. How someone was able to write on leaf, I have no idea, but the next clue read: ‘This one is difficult, but don’t give up hope, a large building, the one where you mope.’

“Oh, this is easy. Your work. Whenever I come to the library you’re always bored out of your mind and moping around,” Kaede added. Of course. How was this one difficult?

So we ran to the local library, walked through the large sliding doors, and froze. We had absolutely no idea of where to go next. The library was so large that the chance of us finding the next clue today was practically impossible.

“Oh, so this is what it meant by difficult, huh?” I shuddered. “Well, let’s get to work.”

I decided to head to the mystery and crime section, thinking that this scavenger hunt would have something to do with a mystery of some sort. But no luck. Kaede ventured over to the fantasy and drama, again with no luck. After a few more hours of looking to no avail, I wandered over to the sorcery and magic section. Bored and uninterested, I picked up a book on the effects of sorcery on the caster. The pages fell to the sides revealing a note.

“Aww, yeah! Kaede, I got it! Here look, it says: ‘Sink deeper into sadness, look no further than your own madness.’” This one was a little harder, but we thought a little. After thinking for five minutes, our brains hurt so we stopped. And realized we knew all along. The school! Obviously everyone is sad at school, and just can’t stand being there, therefore they go mad! We were absolute idiots. Obviously we had to spend more time there.

Unfortunately, it was Saturday and the school was closed. But we had to get in, one way or the other, so we devised a plan. I would grab the crowbar, and pry open the window in the back of the school. Kaede would then slip through the window and open the door for me from the inside. She was naturally slimmer than me so this plan was bound to work. I ran home and grabbed the crowbar out of the garage. We ran to the school and began to look for a window that was hidden enough to begin our plan. But none of the windows were concealed enough for our liking. Determined to carry out our brilliant idea, we chose a random window and began.

“Hey, hey! What do you kids think you’re doing?” A voice called from behind us. Kaede looked at me in horror as we turned to face the voice. It was a police officer. And we were busted.

“Uhh, we forgot our homework, officer,” I tried to explain, totally making us look even more like total idiots.

“Uhuh, now come with me. You’re arrested for defacing and trying to break into a government owned property.”

After a nice ride in a police car, we reached the police station. I prayed we weren’t gonna go to jail. I wasn’t ready to be a criminal. The officer called our parents, but seeing that both of us were far too poor to pay bail, we had to stay one night at the holding cell in the police station.

I flopped down on the bench, next to a man with his face covered by a sweatshirt hood. Kaede stood at the bars, staring out into the almost empty police station. I slouched, bored already.

“Uh, so fella, what got you here?” I asked the man sitting next to me. I already felt like a full-time criminal, getting to know my fellow prison-mates.

He looked up slowly, a smirk shadowing his lips. “So you followed my notes, I see. You were wrong about one thing, though I know where you were coming from with thinking it was the school. The last clue led here, but you ended up here anyway, so it all turned out fine,” he said.

Ahh, yes. Madness and sadness would come from being in jail, but it still made more sense at the school. So this was the guy. The one that rummaged through my room and somehow put it back together in a matter of about 30 seconds. The one that led us on a scavenger hunt throughout the day and brought us to being arrested. The one I was going to kill.

“I’m going to tell you what I am now, don’t be too alarmed. Okay, i’m a sorcerer. That’s why I was able to get you so interested in this entire scheme from the beginning. You see, I have a craving. A craving for human blood. It all started after I killed a vampire, and I became that monster as well. I targeted you because, well, you looked weak. But now I may be mistaken. Anyway, prepare to die.”

Now at this point I was totally shaken and absolutely dazed with fear and anger, so I wasn’t prepared for death. I only snapped out of my daze when he jumped at me, hands outstretched and mouth open and snarling. Kaede turned around at my scream and jumped forward, trying to claw the man away from me. She grabbed his collar and choked him back before he turned on her. Still shaken, I jumped up and looked frantically around for a weapon. The bench was a little loose in the screws, so I tugged at it, to no avail. Determined, I slammed my body down on it, breaking it from the wall with the force of my weight. Picking it up, I staggered over to where the man and Kaede were wrestling, and slammed the bench on the top of the man’s head. I heard a crack, a groan, then silence.

I stepped back, horrified. Kaede looked stunned, and stepped towards me in a shock. I suddenly felt woozy and dizzy, and I swayed on my feet. I had to sit down on the dirty floor, placing my head on my knees. I closed my eyes, prompting the nauseous feeling to recede.

After what felt like hours I stood up, an unnatural craving for something plaguing my senses. I frantically looked around, and my crazed eyes fell upon Kaede, standing and shaking in the corner. I felt powerful and strong enough to easily take her down. She stared at me in terror, hugging herself, trying to melt into the wall behind her. My eyes widened and I smiled. Not a joyous smile, but an evil smirk. She whimpered, closing her eyes.

“You’re, you’re not yourself. Please, stay away from me,” she sobbed. “You killed that man, and now you’re acting like him, like you want to, I don’t know, eat me or something.”

Yes. The sorcerer was dead, and he had mentioned himself having a craving for human blood after he killed a vampire. The only reasonable explanation for my altered actions was that the same had happened to me. The craving for Kaede’s blood: the vampire. The unnatural feeling of power and control: the sorcerer. So it had happened. I had become the monster that I had killed.

So you see. It’s entirely impossible to kill a monster without becoming one. From personal experience, I know the horrors that become you once you kill something. The best way to avoid the worst is to stay away from tempting adventures and stay out of trouble. But sometimes the terrors are inevitable.

And I will never forget the things that I did that night; the things I did to Kaede. Let’s just say there was nothing for the police to find the next morning.

submitted by /u/297rasberries [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Noqcnc

[shaojuzeagoth]

What Could Be Out There?

NIGHT I:

“Honey, it’s almost dinner time, come downstairs,” she called with an air of firmness in her motherly voice. The sounds of plates being placed upon the dining table downstairs softly echoed through the hallway.

He always had a habit of taking his sweet time coming to the dining hall. The boy seemed to lose track of time in the wonderful world of the dinosaur age he had set up in his room. The roars of the Tyrannosaurus as they collapsed on the herbivores thrilled him and widened his already delighted smile.

“I’m not going to tell you one more time, young man, dinner will be cold,” she called once more.

His mind snapped back to reality as he gently put the plastic dinosaurs down on the brown and scratched table. His stomach rumbled slightly, mimicking the roar of the Rexes. It was time to eat, then.

“Coming, mom!” he called in response as he scrambled to his feet and hurried toward the feast.

“You haven’t heard the noises the other night at all?” the brother asked his mother while he took another bite of the delectable pasta.

“It’s a new place for you two, I know, but you’ll be used to the sounds of the surrounding forest soon enough, don’t worry,” she answered reassuringly.

The boy wasn’t paying any heed to the conversation, instead sating his ravenous appetite caused by the exhausting play session he took part in. Eventually the plate was clean of any foodstuffs or sauces.

“I don’t know, I mean, I dunno these woods in general but I’m fairly certain the sounds I’ve heard didn’t come from some forest animal,” the brother said with a hint of nervousness in his voice. He missed the city and its familiar sights and sounds already. At least his little brother would be better accustomed to it; he, on the other hand, just had to make do and learn how to cope. The monster movies and comics he used to read didn’t help, either. Imagination is a bitch, he thought to himself, and it would take a great mental fortitude to overcome it at night.

The boy hopped on the bed and, with a hearty yawn, tilted and lied down. His mother walked in and smiled.

“Is my big raptor ready to sleep?” she lovingly asked.

The boy grinned and nodded his head sleepily. He knew what was coming.

The mother walked to the bookshelf covered with dinosaur footprints and gently pulled a forest-green book out. She sat down next to him and opened the book to a story they hadn’t covered yet. She cleared her throat and began to read.

“Once upon a time, in a land long before time as we know it…” she began.

The mother stopped midway as she noticed the light snoring next to her. She placed the book back into its shelf and kissed his soft cheek goodnight. The lights were silenced and the door slowly closed, sealing the room. Time passed and the crickets chirped their wonderful songs. The small body under the blankets with dinosaur patterns twitched slightly. Most likely it was just an active dream.

Time passed some more, hours into the night. The digital alarm clock, with its radiating red lights, read 2:03 AM. The 3 shifted to a 4, that 4 into a 5 and that 5 into a 6 and so time moved forward. Suddenly his eyelids moved, revealing his sleepy brown eyes. Did something wake him? He slowly sat up and looked around the room as if he were aware of something. Nothing was in the room, save for the army of dinosaur-themed items decorating his domain. The sole window, bigger than he and close to the floor, let in the pale moonlight, illuminating the room in a soft silvery glow. Like a black hole sucking it all in, his sleepiness drained from his body. The mind was alert and ready.

The clock read 2:30 AM. Time was struggling through a thick muck. He felt its agonizingly slow trek as he wondered what to do now that he was wide awake. He decided to shift himself off the bed, taking care not to make a single noise to wake his family. He wandered around his room and took in the sight of his toys bathed in silver sparkly light. Something about the stillness of it all soothed his senses in a way he had never experienced before in his relatively short life. It wouldn’t be something he could understand until he matured more but he was glad nonetheless.

A sudden thud outside seized his attention. It sounded like a body hitting something plastic. He quietly rushed to the window and peered outside. His heart raced just ever so slightly at the chance of catching sight of a forest animal playing in his playground bungalow in the backyard.  His mother had told him if he was a good boy, as well as maintain patience, then maybe he could have a glimpse of a deer frolicking in his playground area. He was filled with excitement.

“What is that?” he whispered under his breath.

The swings were moving back and forth in their pendulum cycles. There was no wind, though. He scanned the gray-lit grass and the playground structure for any signs of movement. There seemed to be nothing out here.

3:00 AM

The swings eventually tired and rested. The silence was deafening. Where were the crickets?

The boy’s eyelids suddenly remembered gravity and began to threaten closing on him. The sleepiness that had taken its hiatus returned with a vengeance. It seemed like he wouldn’t be seeing the animal out there tonight. With a defeated sigh he staggered to his bed and lied down once more, quickly returning to the sleep his body craved. The louder thud outside didn’t wake him.

NIGHT II:

The boy sat in his sand box and let his dinosaurs undertake a sandy adventure. There were many herbivore casualties. After the carnage, he sat up and dusted his shorts off. He still wondered about the night before and what was out in the same area he was in now. Maybe he could search for clues. Yeah, like those detectives on TV, he could totally do that. That sounded awesome. He smiled at the opportunity to discover the intruder’s identity and so he quickly looked around for any such clues. The swings seemed to be fine. The slide was still smooth and spotless. The wooden structure was aged but still in good condition. He checked in the sand box for any other things he might have missed. Nothing seemed to show up.

The wind picked up a little and blew burnt-orange leaves toward him. It was going to be Halloween soon. He was absolutely ecstatic to celebrate his most favorite holiday of the year. He was going to be a scarecrow this time. Last year he was a skeleton. The monster options were endless and he made it a life goal to be them all. A dying brown leaf charged at his eye and he brushed it away. As he was rubbing the assaulted eye, he noticed a print on the white wall of the house. It just seemed to be dirt and had no discernible shape, merely a smudge of some sort. This could have been a clue… or not. Who knew? He didn’t.

The darkness swallowed the landscape once more and plunged it into another uncertain night. After the usual story, the boy was fast asleep with nothing but a light snore.

2:13 AM

His eyes opened wide. They scanned the dark room in which hid faint silhouettes. The sleeplessness returned to torment him. Was this going to be a regular thing? No, he had no concept of that. To a little boy, he was just awake, no suspicion of any possible pattern. He moved the covers off himself and slid off the bed, taking care to be as quiet as possible. It was too dark to see anything except for the faint shape of the window, his portal to the shaded world outside. He carefully sat down and looked out with a faint hope of seeing something this time. As his eyes adjusted to the inkiness around him, he could barely make out the bungalows. The wind gently howled outside and brushed against the trees, tilting them back and forth ever so gently.

2:34 AM

The urge for rest didn’t seem to want to return to him. His thoughts turned to the pterodactyls flying over green landscapes with furious volcanoes erupting in the background. The daylight couldn’t come any sooner.

Suddenly a thud broke his daydreaming. With his nose pressed against the cool glass he searched the blackness for anything.

2:40 AM

Still nothing appeared. At least, nothing he could even see that well. What seemed like movements were just the playful shadows of things like the trees swaying in the chilling wind. The moon desperately tried to force its light through the gloomy clouds but failed. Only a dusky glow remained as the poor excuse for light. The boy suddenly felt a sharp urge for rest as exhaustion caught up with him. He didn’t want to sleep, not now. He shook his head and watched more intently than ever before. Only the sounds of whispering winds kept his senses company. The shadows beckoned and threatened as they melted and formed in the darkness. A shiver swam down his spine as the tiny hairs on his arms stood as if at attention. A sense of dread and fear corrupted his curiosity as he heard something strange.

A raspy exhale was heard. Could that have been just the wind? He shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes. His vision seemed to blur and cloud as gravity shifted around his body.

NIGHT III:

The boy swung on the swing set, watching the world shift around him as his body oscillated back and forth. At the apex of each swing, the metal released a subdued squeak. It was beginning to get old. Soon he wouldn't fit in it, just like his brother didn't. What would they do with the swing set then? He felt a slight ray of sadness thinking about it but was quickly interrupted by a strange whistle. He pointed his feet downward to gain friction against the grass and slowed himself. As soon as he was at rest, he turned to face the dense forests. A chill crawled in his skin.

"Whatcha looking at?" his brother asked. The sudden question nearly made the boy jump.

"N-nothing, I heard something back there," he said pointing his finger toward the shaded land that bordered their home area.

The brother felt uneasy, flashes of horror movies and monster comics flooding his brain. He was still trying to overcome his minor demons about those sorts of things.

"It's nothing, just animals that live there, we're fine," he said, almost as if to convince himself more than anyone else. He ruffled the boy's hair and walked away.

The boy returned his hair to normalcy with a smile and hopped off the swing. It was nothing.

The mother had been slightly worried the whole day about finding her baby boy on the floor fast asleep. He wasn't a sleepwalker or anything like that, she thought. Maybe it comes out of nowhere and this is just the beginning of it. She hoped that he would not be asleep outside the next time. At dinner, she decided to bring up the subject.

"Sweetie, I found you on the floor this morning asleep. Did you have a nightmare or something?"

The boy chewed his burger pensively and paused for a moment. He shook his head in response. He had forgotten about the raspy exhale that seemed to isolate itself from the wind. His brother's words did the trick of purging any suspicions of what might have been outside. His brother, though, wasn't so sure, but he had to keep those thoughts to himself. He was the man of the house, after all.

2:42 AM

Eyes opened wide once more for another sleepless round of the hunt. This was becoming torture for him. He woke so late in the day and he faked falling asleep for his mother when she was reading. Fortunately, he did eventually drift into slumber after who knows how long. But, as he lied awake, the night called for his attention. Feet touching the wooden floor took him to the window where he dutifully sat down and looked outside. An orange glow caught his attention. It was the electric jack-o-lantern they put out on the top of the slide close to Halloween night. He hadn't noticed that his mother had put it out earlier that day. They couldn't carve real pumpkins, at least not anymore. She was always so busy during the day at work and his brother had to tend to the house most of the time while remaining on call for his job at the gas station a few miles away from home. The light of the lantern soothed him, it was such a warm color. The synthetic flicker cast the grinning face's shadow at various angles. He had always enjoyed the effects of the shadow-play. His thoughts drifted toward the wonderful night of going to the nearby town and collecting sweet treats that his mother would eventually confiscate and ration out for several weeks. He had an awful habit of devouring more candy than he could handle in one sitting.

Suddenly, as if on cue, a raspy breath cut through the still air. Orange light seemed to move slightly as the lantern was knocked over to its side, landing with a plastic thud against the grass. The light flickered pitifully and dimmed. One of the bulbs must have shattered. He kept his eyes fixed on the fallen pumpkin, hoping to catch any signs of movement. He felt like a dinosaur watcher, only he was looking for a strange creature, or at least, he hoped that he was. Wouldn't it be awesome to see something unusual?

A black form seemed to glide past the dying light. He couldn't make out the shape. Another rasp... a thud followed by another rasp. It seemed to stay around the pumpkin as hints of blackness appeared close by and  sunk back into the ink. The boy wished the moon was out but the clouds were still on guard. With one last flicker of glimmer, the pumpkin's life was silenced, allowing darkness to drench the landscape.

3:01 AM

The hunger for rest, more than an acquaintance now, slipped itself into the boy's body, relaxing his muscles and gently pulling down on his eyelids. He fought against it, he was too close to seeing what was outside. A thin ray of subdued silver pierced through the dark clouds, highlighting a patch of grass close to the wall of the house. It caught his attention. However, what he saw seized and froze it. An onyx mass lied on the patch, seemingly still. It expanded just slightly and exhaled that awful rasp. The boy gasped much louder than he should have. He quickly covered his mouth but it was too late. The damage was done and the consequences were set in motion.

Two rotten-yellow eyes looked up and witnessed the curious young boy watching it. The eyes remained fixed on him as the silver ray dissipated, letting the shadows swallow the patch again. Only the darkest gray hue, barely visible, blanketed the land with a pair of eyes standing out as they never blinked or took their gaze off the frightened boy. He couldn't move. He didn't even want to breathe for fear of making any kind of noise.  His heart raced.

3:18 AM

His muscles suddenly snapped to action and took him to his bed, burying him under the covers and shutting his eyes. Whenever he involuntarily whimpered he held himself tighter. He wanted to cry. His mind eventually drifted as the exhaustion crept onto him.

4:44 AM

What sounded like jagged claws firmly scraped the wood outside. Something rasped with exasperation. The noises didn't wake him.

NIGHT IV:

"I didn't hear anything last night," the brother answered.

The mother shook her head nervously as she stared at the wicked grooves in claw-like formations all over the wall below the boy's window. She couldn't believe that any of the animals nearby could do anything like this. It could have been a bear, for all she knew. She glanced at her watch that was too big for her wrist. She had to leave in an hour and her elder son was going to leave for work overnight. She couldn't believe that she had to leave her baby boy almost an entire night by himself just so she could get the night off for tomorrow's trick-or-treating. Her son's boss was firm about the overnight scheduling, saying that he needed all the help he could get the night before Halloween because his superstitious bullshit denied him from running the station during Halloween night itself. He was old country, she really couldn't blame him despite how she wasn't happy with the situation he put them in. Her little boy wasn't entirely fond of giving out candy when he could be out there experiencing his childhood. She understood that all too well, having taken hers for granted many years ago. There were no choices available, just ride out the storm that she called her life.

The boy sat in the sandbox while his mother and brother examined the scraped wall, limply holding the dinosaurs in place halfway buried in the sand. They were supposed to be surprising the toy soldiers nearby. The soldiers were carrying an important package for the base on the other side of the box. As for what was supposed to happen next, the boy didn't have a clue. He honestly didn't care to make another scene. Those eyes burned themselves into his mind. The trees that audibly swayed in the autumn wind made that familiar rasping sound. His senses returned and the rasping noise transformed into simply tree-brushing sounds. He had never experienced true fear in his life and he couldn't imagine anything worse. Actually, things were going to be much worse. His mother and brother were going to be gone most of the night. At least his mom would be back sometime close to dawn.

"Be a good boy and be in bed by 8 so you can be well rested for tomorrow. I promise we will go trick-or-treating this year, all I have to do is work extra tonight and I get time off to go with you, okay?" her words echoed in his mind. He looked at his clock.

8:23 PM

"I'm going to be leaving soon, go to sleep," the brother suddenly said in the doorway. He quietly flipped the switch and the room was placed into darkness with only a faint green glow from the dinosaur egg-shaped night light near the door. It was fortunate the nearby discount store had a few left.

The boy flinched slightly at the sudden appearance. He laid his head down on the pillow. Half of his young mind turned to the wonderful night ahead with ghosts, goblins and witches roaming the streets for candy. The other half... well, it was trapped in front of those eyes. Those sickening eyes glowing cruelly and hungrily. Somehow, in some way, he was fast asleep.

2:04 AM

His eyes opened as something filled his ears. It was the sound of furious scraping. With every scratch, he imagined filthy claws carving lines into the wood. After every few scrapes, he heard the awful rasp. This continued for what seemed like forever. His heart hurt as it raced. The gut-wrenching surge of anxiety pulsed throughout his body. He felt frozen in his blankets. Those chilling noises continued.

2:13 AM

The first sounds were consistent in tone and volume. They always remained near the ground. It was just that... after a while... the rasps seemed to be rising above the ground. It wasn't scraping anymore. The frenzied carving had apparently ceased and gave way to something else. He could still hear the claws in the wood, it was just that it wasn't scraping. Puncturing sounds slowly and steadily filled the air.

Boom. Boom. Thunk. Thunk.

The sound of strained inhaling and then a wet rasp.

Boom. Boom. Thunk. Thunk.

There was an oozy cough that sounded deeper and closer than the original rasps.

Suddenly, there was silence. Nothing but dead and still air.

He took a deep breath and whimpered. He had forgotten to breath. The throbbing in his ears signaled a terrified heart. There was still nothing to be heard. He remained perfectly still, hoping it would not notice a body under the covers. The silence was deafening. This ordeal seemed to last forever. He didn't dare look at the window.

2:48 AM

Clink. Clink. Clink.

He nearly yelped in horror. His grip on himself only tightened until it hurt. Something was near the window.

Clink...

Bunk.

It was out there. He couldn't believe it. It was actually out there. It actually climbed on the wall to his window and it was probably looking inside. It was probably trying to get his attention, make him expose himself to it. He couldn't look. He wanted to look. He knew he couldn't. He had to see it, he had to make sure what it was. He couldn't dare acknowledge it or else it would know he was there. What was he supposed to do? When was his mom coming home? What time was it? What was it going to do to him?

Time seemed to crawl on all fours through thick mud. He felt his bladder weaken but he quickly strengthened it. He had to pee so badly. There didn't seem to be any sounds, though. He had to go. He, as slowly as he could possibly do so, turned himself in his bed to face the clock.

3:30 AM

He slowly and carefully rotated himself so he could see the window, just barely. He prepared himself for the awful sight of this creature that was tormenting him. Just as his vision caught sight of the window, he was ready to scream.

He saw nothing except dark clouds and a dim flash. The roar of thunder echoed in the distance. He audibly exhaled and shuddered.

It was gone.

3:38 AM

The boy quickly hopped back into bed. He listened to the toilet refill its water supply, hoping to find some solace in its simple sound. The crack of thunder made his leg twitch. The flash of lightning made him close his eyes. His mind was weary by the whole ordeal he had gone through. He hadn't noticed that the glow of his night light had already dimmed. Perhaps it was the bright flash of the lightning that numbed his sight to the little egg. He tried his best to stretch his limbs out and relax. His body remained still while his mind ran at full speed.

As sleepiness began to snuggle next to his body, another blast of thunder threw it into full alert. Actually, it wasn't the thunder itself that shook him to his core. Something had slammed against the wall outside at the same time. It was almost like he felt the thunder. His eyes fixed themselves on the window. It was nearly pitch black outside. A dreadful storm had come to ravage the landscape. How was his mother supposed to be home in this weather? He feared the worst. Maybe that monster would be scared off by the storm. He had to make sure.

Sitting at the window, he looked out at the darkened backyard. Nearly washed in blackness, the only hope of seeing anything was through the quick flashes of light. A flash revealed an empty yard, no creature in sight. Another flash told the same story. Rain quickly arrived and intensified with no mercy. The pattering of water against the house was both soothing and unnerving. He knew he would have to stay up. He'd have to ask his mom if he could sleep in her room for a while. He couldn't be, for another awful night, alone like this.

Flash of light, empty landscape, trees swaying in the wind.

Flash of light, leaves swimming through the cold air in a dance of chaos.

Flash of light, shadows forming and disappearing.

Flash of light, a black figure snaking near the sandbox.

No... no, please, no.

Flash of light, empty sandbox.

Flash of light, black figure standing near the wall.

Flash of light, yellow eyes staring at the window.

He ran back to the bed and covered himself. Tears rolled down his cheeks and his body tingled from raw fear. It was still out there.

It had seen him.

4:04 AM

The cacophony of thunder and howling wind and the dance of lightning continued as the boy lied in the bed. He hadn't heard anything yet but suddenly, somewhere downstairs... in the house, there was a heavy thud. He couldn't move.

Creaking wood and echoing raspy breaths filled the air between each crack of thunder. He turned his body to face the little egg plugged into the wall. It was black. The light had died some time ago. Just as he was about to. He shut his eyes and covered his head with the blankets. It was stupid to think he was safe under the covers but he instinctively did so. The intervals between each thunderous roar grew. It only served to give him more time to hear the movement outside of his room.  If he dared to lift the cover and look at the door...

Suddenly he heard a creak as the door slowly opened. He covered his mouth. He felt the urge to scream. He bit down on his hand to suppress it. The wet breath of the creature chilled his soul. He could make out the yellow glow of its eyes from beneath the covers. They were seemingly scanning the room, carefully watching every angle. Lightning highlighted a hunched and rotten monster. Its crooked and jagged teeth nearly protruded from its maw. He peeked below the covers and saw the trail of black and putrid ooze that marked its path. The stench of rot and sickness attacked his nose. He nearly gagged but he held it in. It moved slowly in the room with the sounds of what seemed like wet meat sloshing about. It rasped in a low tone and growled. The boy's mind occupied itself with thoughts of the amazing Halloween night to follow, the sweet sound of his mother's voice and the inevitable pranks his brother would subject him to. Any thought, but the one about this demon in his room, would suffice to help him cope.

The sounds seemed to end.

He opened his eyes and tried to make something out from beneath the covers. He was coated in a light sweat from the heat under the covers and fear. The air under the blankets was stuffy and warm. When did it leave? He carefully removed the blankets off of himself and looked around the room. There was nothing but darkness. The storm was still there but only produced low rumbles. An unexpected bolt of lightning lit the room up for half a second. In that short window of time, he didn't notice anything. Fatigue laid his body down and his eyelids were like great weights. A flash of lightning highlighted the room once again. Something caught his attention.

In the corner of the ceiling on the other side.

Raspy breath.

The slushing thud of ooze against the floorboards.

The rotten-yellow eyes stared from the corner.

The flash of lightning revealed it, clinging to the wall with its long black nails.

He tried to scream. His voice had died of fright. Nothing came out. His heart raced and seemed like it was about to burst.

The eyes seemed to slip into darkness. Pitch blackness returned to claim its right to omnipresence. He just needed one more lightning strike to see where it was. Please. Just one more.

He could hear the clicking of nails along the ceiling with the occasional splash of sludge against the floor. The boy didn't know what to think anymore. He couldn't see the door. He couldn't see anything. All he could hear was it moving about on the ceiling.

5:01 AM

"Mommy," he finally squeaked.

His tears had already wet his pillows. His body was trembling uncontrollably. He whimpered and closed his eyes. The clicking was directly above him and he felt warm slime drip onto his face. He opened his eyes once more.

A flash of lightning revealed the monster, black arms stretching downward towards him. Its hands were opened, bearing the wicked nails that hungrily glimmered in the flash.

"Mommy!" he cried.

Sharp objects glided against his cheeks. He heard it purr and then hack another disgusting cough. Hot saliva sprayed onto his face.

All that remained in the shrouded room were the sounds of a boy screaming and the malevolent eyes whose eerie glow pierced the darkness.