#i am aware that leia and luke look like tbh.

[grandmofftarkinsuggestions]

tarkin and his bimbinis....

[kayedium-writes]

Hi Kay, Have you watched a Japanese anime "Spy x Family"? Do you think it's an interesting premise for Anidala? Anakin as a spy looking for a family for his mission while Padme - a senator looking for a boyfriend because her family is bothering her to have one because she's already thirty and haven't yet, meets Anakin and somehow ended up being married because she found him handsome and she was feeling rather impulsive. Leia or Luke - as a telepath with a dark past. What do you think?

I am... adjacently aware of Spy x Family because of someone I know that writes fic for that fandom. However, I am now intrigued in this premise.

Also, Padmé ending up married because he's handsome and she's impulsive is canon. And... either of the twins being telepaths with a dark past... Could even be them both, tbh.

I think it sounds like an interesting premise, Anon! I like the idea of smashing characters together for circumstance, and making them figure out how to get their shit together to accomplish a goal. Though everything I'm working on now is fluff, I'd like to write something like this in the future.

[phoenixyfriend]

Time Travel ft. Leia and Vader

(Helped by @atagotiak)

I was reading a bunch of different time travel fics, and my brain slotted in that one "Vader hands over the Empire to Leia and is now her most devoted sycophant" dynamic and mixed it with the "Luke and Vader time-travel and Vader does the right thing but only because it would make Luke sad if he didn't."

I landed on "Leia time travels to prequels era, but her least favorite family member has also traveled with her, though it takes him a few months to find her because he has less resources without the entire Imperial Navy, but he's still a scary Sith in all black with a breathing mask and intimidating cape."

"Tiny angry lady who wants to force democracy and her giant Sith father whom she hates but has resigned herself to pointing at threats like a tank who inexplicably loves her" is a delightful dynamic.

The first few months included a lot of concern about "why do you know so much about Sith if you're not trained or looking to be one" and then Vader shows up and calls her 'daughter' and she insults him and it's like "Oh. That explains it."

Council Member: We have a Sith in the Temple. Vader: Former Sith. Leia: Listen. He is your best chance against Sidious. Also, do you want Dooku dead? Vader can make him dead. Council Member: Your father i-- Leia, scrunching up her face: Don't call him that.

Like Leia is deep in conversation when the Temple starts panicking because Vader just. Showed up? He snuck in, somehow? So Palpatine wouldn't catch him on video entering through the front door? And people try to keep her away from the trouble, because there's an entire array of Jedi Masters to deal with this Surprise Sith, except she can sense exactly which Sith it is and once she shouts "oh you have got to be kidding me!" she just starts running and, well, it's Leia. Nobody can stop her.

(Leia does have less combat training, at least less force-assisted combat training, than the Jedi. But then the Jedi don’t want to hurt here here. She's not fighting her way down, either, she's just running really fast and all the best fighters already left. They had a head start. So Leia's mostly running past random padawans and the like.)

She shoves her way to the front of the group of Masters who. Well, they're certainly ready to attack. But Vader is just standing there. Doing nothing. Still intimidating as fuck but he's not doing anything.

And then Leia bursts onto the scene like "You motherfucker."

She hits her head on a clipboard and whines because UGH he's a walking WMD and they could REALLY use him against Palpatine but also. She hates him so much.

She tries to hand him off to the Jedi council but he insists that he will only take orders from Leia herself.

Jedi: Wait, what. Leia, completely ignoring them: Did you follow me here? Vader, through the mechanical wheezing: I have no loyalty to my master and no empire to serve. You are all that I have left. Leia: Me? Me? I'm all that you have left? You committed a genocide that killed all the family I had except for the twin brother you later mutilated! Jedi: Wait what Vader, going to one knee: I pledge my loyalty and blade to you and only you, daughter. Leia, ready to explode: I. I just. Jedi, some of whom really want to say things but are slowly realizing that they just accidentally acquired a Sith Lord by proxy: What. Leia: I hate you so much but I can't even get rid of you, you're too useful. Vader: I live to serve. Leia: Yeah. Got that. Fuck. Someone get him a full medical rundown, I don't know the last time that mess of a life support system was updated. Jedi, agitated again: WHAT Leia: Listen, I don't like him, but I'm not stupid enough to throw away the second most dangerous person in the universe when I can point him at the most dangerous person in the universe. Especially not if he's going to listen to me. Jedi: But... he's a Sith. Leia: Please trust me when I say this: you might be able to take him down eventually, but he will take dozens of you down with him, and right now he's... honestly, I'm pretty sure he's more depressed than malicious. Jedi: You hate him. I can feel it. Leia: Yes, but I can be professional about it. Vader: They have not yet d-- Leia: Nope! No talking! Not until I've had a chance to process this mess!

There is a whole lot of Leia snapping at Vader to stop it whenever he starts giving off vibes like he wants to take the most violent shortcut possible.

She is not the gentle hand that Luke would be.

Leia isn't a Jedi or working for them but she's wormed her way into being an ally. They don't 100% trust her, especially not with Vader just showing up and declaring her family but like

How do you say no to a WMD walking into your house and saying "I will fight the monster you cower from at night."

There's a lot of Leia snapping off an admonishment that sounds just a little too odd and then when questioned she just says "He knows what he did."

tbh I'm not sure how long it takes for them to tell anyone that Anakin is Vader. They might hold it off in hopes that Anakin can just retire to be Mr. Amidala after the war is over.

Well, Leia hopes. Vader just lets Leia make that call and then glowers at his younger self every time they're in the same room.

I do feel like Leia tells Obi-Wan the truth first

Imagine. Imagine a Vader who’s past still isn’t known. But has gotten somewhat comfortable around the Jedi (not really but the bar for what counts and comfortable for him is low). And Obi-Wan habitually banters with darksiders, right? If Vader’s guard is down for a moment and he, without thinking, references an inside joke...

Might be the most fun in terms of ways to tell Obi-Wan "We're time travelers and Vader is what happens if you let Palpatine drive Anakin off the edge"

If Vader has decided to pledge himself to her orders after destroying her planet, then fine. She can work with that. She's not going to be happy about it, but she can make it work.

The Jedi Temple hates having Vader anywhere nearby but he is actually very good at hiding himself from people, including Palpatine And for all that Leia seems perpetually irritated with her apparent bodyguard, he does seem to listen to her.

Jedi council: We still haven't figured out how to handle Dooku Leia: Do you know his location? Jedi council: Yes. Leia: [sigh] Leia: Vader, deal with it. Alive if possible.

(Leia does need to clarify an acceptable level of violence against the people protecting Dooku.) (She needs to clarify... many things.)

Leia always says "Vader" and one time a poor fool just asks why she doesn't call him dad and she snarls out "He is not the man that raised me, and I am glad for it."

Someone less foolish later prods more compassionately and she lets them know she was adopted and didn't properly meet Vader except in passing until she was nineteen.

"And then he tortured you." "And then he tortured me, yes." "Damn." "Didn't even find out we were related until a few years later when he chopped my brother's arm off." "You... wow." "I know."

At least one exchange that is L: You mean when you tortured me? A: He did what. V: I was not aware of our relation at that time. L: Not the point! I am fully aware of your interrogation methods and I refuse to let you be the one to acquire the evidence for-- A: Wait no go back he tortured you? L: Move on, please, we already have. A: That means I'm... oh Force, I'm going to torture my own daughter what in the actual fu-- L: We're moving on.

(“I end up torturing my own daughter” If Leia’s feeling especially spiteful I can see her saying “you mutilate your own son too”)

Concept: Leia is very free with traumatizing details of her past re:Vader and Anakin thinks that it sucks but doesn’t think much of it bc Sith. And then some time later he finds out...

(I love characters who use the traumatizing details of their past to shut down conversations.)

It's such a wonderfully horrifying concept for him to try to awkwardly comfort this girl he kind of knows because having a Sith for a dad sounds like it would suck and Leia seems nice, even if she's kind of weird and uncomfortable around Anakin, but he saw her flinch around a few other tall people wearing black robes the way she stiffens around Vader so maybe it's just that!

It is not.

Vader does get a significant amount of medical treatment. Including a bunch of "holy shit, that's a lot of drugs" and similar. There is so much lightning damage.

hnnng I'm just really in love with the image of Tiny Tiny Leia sitting behind a desk for some fancy negotiation, the picture of professionalism, while Vader just stands behind her shoulder, looming, glaring expressionless death at whoever came to speak with his baby girl.

Not that he would call her that, because she'd just hate him more and he's really not sure how to fix that problem, other than doing whatever she asks with no complaints and hoping she appreciates it.

Vader: [looks at children wandering by, has complicated emotions] Leia, tired of his shit: What now? Vader: I killed them, once. Leia, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath: And you're not going to do that again. No killing children. Vader: I know that. Leia: Great. I am... regretting asking. I am so very much regretting asking.

I do really like the idea of someone asking Leia once if she wants Jedi training and she says, no, actually, she's fully aware of the fact that she's angry little ball of hate sometimes, especially towards her bio father, and she'd like to refrain from putting herself in a position where she knows enough about the Force to Fall. She wouldn't Fall. But it does make people shut up.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

[zoryany]

Hi! I REALLY liked that Skysolo AU where Han has to meet the royal family, if I prompt you ‘8. I know of your reputation all too well.’ could you possible continue it so he meets Vader? 🥺 (totally understand if not, great AU either way!!)

I’m glad you enjoyed it and I ABSOLUTELY can continue it with that prompt, thank you !! (I’ve definitely blurred the line between “ficlet” and full-blown fanfic at this point tbh…)Imperial Royal Skywalker Family AU Pt 1 || send me ficlet prompts – optionally include characters

After they’d finished their tea, Luke was quick to excuse himself and Han, ushering his guest towards the suite he’d prepared earlier. A wave of relief rolled off Han the moment they left the parlour, and Luke couldn’t help but share the sentiment. Everyone had been civil enough for the duration, but Luke had felt the tension that lingered beneath the polite conversation. Mother and Leia were both furious with him, he could tell, and though both would maintain a proper amount of decorum in front of their guest, Luke knew exactly what he was in for once Father returned.

That was not something he was looking forward to.

As he led Han through the corridors between the parlour and the guest room, Luke tried to stay relaxed and exude as much nonchalance as possible. “Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it? I’d say you’ve won over two out of three already. Probably helps they’re both so upset with me that it’s easier for them to speak to you without snapping right now. Though I will be getting an earful later…”

“Gee, that makes me feel real great about this whole thing,” Han grumbled. Luke couldn’t help but feel sheepish at that, which Han instantly noticed and grimaced in response. “No, I just meant that – look, I’m sorry you’re in this mess, and I’m sorry if it’s ‘cause of me…”

“Hey,” Luke said sharply, “none of that. You didn’t make me leave home in the first place, and while I’ve definitely been enjoying our time together, don’t flatter yourself into thinking you’re the reason I’ve stayed away this long.” Chuckling lightly at the look of offense he was getting from the smuggler, Luke continued. “Don’t get me wrong, there’s no way I would’ve stayed on Ord Mantell as long as I did if not for you, but truth be told… well I actually would’ve stayed away longer if we hadn’t met – just on some other planet.”

He could feel the curiosity burning within Han. They never really talked about why he ran away or what he was doing on Ord Mantell. That was part of the reason the two of them had gotten along, initially – no obligation to speak about their pasts, just focus on the present and the future. Even now, Han wasn’t pushing him despite his clear curiosity, but Luke couldn’t avoid his responsibilities forever.

Reaching the door to the guest room, he let out a sigh as he pushed the door open and gestured for Han to enter first. The smuggler hesitated slightly before breezing past the threshold and into the suite. It was not nearly so resplendent as the Royal Rooms, but it was still the height of luxury. Luke had been sure to select one of the smaller rooms and furnish it modestly enough so Han wouldn’t be overwhelmed, but he was all too aware of how extravagant it was. Simple yet tasteful artwork lined the walls, a large window revealed a magnificent view of Coruscant’s upper levels, and the bed that dominated the space was a plush four-poster with a dreamsilk canopy draped over it. Most of the bedding in the Palace was expensive and made of some form of soft, silk-like material, but Luke had managed to dig up a set of lighter sheets made of Alderaanian cotton that would better suit Han’s comfort level. And, sitting on top of the bed was –

“Mother…” Luke groaned as Han held up the finery and examined it. “She wants you to dress for dinner. Probably sent Threepio to set these out for you while we were distracted by tea, and I’m willing to bet my lightsaber that those will fit you perfectly. I’ll throw in my speeder and guess that I’ve got an outfit set out, too.”

“She seriously expects me to wear this?” Han was holding the dark-coloured suit as though it was made of tissue and would shred if he gripped it too tight. “I’m pretty sure the shirt alone cost more than I’ve made – or ever will make – in my entire life.”

Grimacing, Luke felt a pang of embarrassment, knowing full well that he couldn’t deny that. It was part of the reason he’d left in the first place. He’d never felt comfortable with his status, preferring instead to tinker with mechanics or get to know the people or practice flying over the city. Being a prince just never sat quite right with him. But his parents insisted on nothing short of the best for their children, and nothing quite surpassed their desire to keep the twins safe. They meant well. Luke knew they meant well. They were just… stubborn.

He wasn’t ready for that conversation with Han yet, though, so instead he just let out a breezy laugh and shook his head. “I think you’ll look dashing in it. Mother does have impeccable taste, after all. You don’t gotta put it on yet, though. We still have a bit of time before dinner. I can give you a tour, show you all the places I hid and the secrets I discovered growing up.”

***

Tugging lightly at his collar, Han shifted in his seat, hoping he didn’t appear too awkward as he tried not to stare at Luke sitting across from him. When the two had met, he never would have guessed that the scruffy blond with grease on his cheek and dirt under his fingernails could possibly be anyone even remotely noble. He looked like just about every other down-on-his-luck scoundrel just trying to scrape by, even if the kid had a lot more enthusiasm than most. But if Han thought the difference in his voice when speaking to his mother was jarring, seeing Luke dressed up and put together was staggering.

Though his hair wasn’t quite slicked down – Han wasn’t sure if that was even possible, anyways – it was obvious that Luke had at least put some effort into making it presentable, and it lay a lot smoother than usual, framing his face. A white shirt was visible beneath a black tunic, and he wore matching black trousers, all made from the same, expensive-looking material. The real highlight of the outfit, however, was the deep blue cape secured around his neck with a bright golden clasp and a silvery pattern woven throughout the material like constellations. Luke wore the night sky, which only served to make his features appear even more like a radiant sun.

Han had been mostly quiet through the meal in an effort to keep himself from saying anything overly foolish, sticking to polite acknowledgements and general courtesies. He was so caught up in maintaining decorum that he didn’t even really hear much of the conversation around him, catching only snippets here and there.

Luke looked much more at ease than Han was, and he even appeared to have relaxed since the tense tea session they’d had earlier. He was sharing lighthearted banter with his sister (who kept shooting Han suspicious glances, albeit less frequently than before) and chatting pleasantly with his mother (who seemed far warmer and more genuine than earlier). It was clear that, despite the conversations the family still needed to have, they maintained a strong bond and genuine love for one another.

(Han was decidedly not jealous of that. Not at all.)

The pleasant air in the dining room carried on into dessert, by which time even Han had relaxed a bit and would make the odd remark or share the odd barb with the Princess. They had almost finished working their way through the decadent assortment of cakes and pastries when the atmosphere suddenly shifted.

The change was most obvious in Luke, whose eyes blew wide and a shudder rippled through him as he stiffened in his seat. Gasping with a shaky breath, he lifted his gaze and fixed it on something behind Han’s chair.

“Father.” Oh. Kriff. He probably should have been able to guess that. “I, uh – you weren’t due to return home until after dinner.” It was incredible how quickly the kid’s composure could crumble, switching instantly from the picture of Imperial Royalty to the naive, stammering vagabond who could not lie to save his life.

“No, I was not.” The basso tone produced by the vocoder seemed to fill the entire room, and Han had to suppress a shudder as the towering dark form crept into his field of view like a shadow. Darth Vader loomed over Luke, who looked absolutely tiny next to him, and Han had to give the kid credit for not cowering when a gloved finger was pointed between his eyes. “I do, however, have every right to alter my schedule when matters arise concerning my son.” Luke did cringe a little bit at that. Vader wasn’t done. “My son, who I have not heard from in several weeks, who has returned home with… company.”

Han could not say he deserved the same credit as Luke as he cowered the moment that death mask turned to face him. “Ah yeah, hi, that’s me, uhh nice to meet you, Mr. Vader, sir, I’m –”

“Captain Han Solo.” His jaw dropped and he gaped at Vader as he cut him off. “Yes. I know of your reputation all too well.”

Luke’s eyes had gone wide again, and his jaw dropped down as well. Even the Princess seemed taken aback, though the Empress seemed unfazed.

“You – you know who I am?”

“I make a point to know who the Hutts choose to have dealings with.”

Oh. Kriff, he’d forgotten about Vader’s vendetta against the Hutts. “Hey, hey, I don’t go makin’ a habit of it or anything, just a few jobs for Jabba – who didn’t even like me, anyway. Put a bounty on my head when I dropped a job after realizing the cargo wasn’t spice. I don’t smuggle people. Far’s I’m concerned, the galaxy’s better off without him.”

Vader inclined his helmet slightly while keeping his gaze fixed on Han. The dark, deep crimson of the eyeplates felt like they would burn twin holes right through him. “I must admit,” Vader finally said, “that I can agree with you in that regard, at the very least.” For the briefest second, Han got the impression of amusement before the temperature in the room plummeted again and he had to work to keep his composure. “That does not, however, change the fact that you are still a criminal, nor does it excuse the rest of your misdeeds.”

“Well,” said Han, silently cursing his uncontrollable disregard for his own wellbeing, “ya got me there. But I’m a changed man, honest. I’m pretty aware of your reputation, too, and I got no interest in experiencing it firsthand.”

From across the table, he caught a glimpse of Luke’s expression, which was a confused jumble of amusement, horror, mortification, disbelief and resignation. Beside her brother, the Princess concealed a snort, passing it off as a cough. Han was pretty sure he was done for when Vader took a step forward, his arms uncrossing from his chest as he reached a hand towards him, but the Empress had fluidly risen from her seat and appeared at his side.

Resting her hands delicately on his arm, she gazed up at him with a gentle, soothing expression and whispered something that sounded like “Ani.” Her next words were clearer while still remaining gentle and placating. “Captain Solo here is Luke’s guest, and I have personally offered him our hospitality. Please refrain from terrorizing him tonight. You know how our children feel when you frighten off their company.” Luke and Leia both flushed pink and sunk in their seats.

On the surface, it was a standard family interaction, mother holding back father, father upholding authority, children doing all they could to mitigate their embarrassment, but Han could not think of anything more surreal. The mother in question was the most politically powerful person in the galaxy, dressed in resplendent garments of deep crimson as she looked lovingly up at her husband. The father was the most dangerous man in the galaxy, cutting an intimidating figure and dwarfing his wife while still, somehow, managing an unexpected level of tenderness. The children were set to inherit the galaxy, twin Highnesses -- one of whom he was involved with -- and no less dangerous than their parents.

And Han... had no idea what to do with himself.

Far more gentle than he would have ever expected possible, Vader rested a hand on his wife’s cheek and the two shared a brief embrace, seeming to exchange something entirely private and intimate. In their seats, Luke and Leia flushed deeper, and Han found himself wishing he was anywhere else. Withdrawing his hand, Vader seemed somewhat reluctant as he took a step back. 

“Very well. This is clearly not a conversation for the dinner table. I shall retreat to my study to tie up what loose ends I can while you conclude your meal. However,” Vader turned to face his son, “your mother and I have much to discuss with you, boy. Do not attempt to needlessly delay this discussion.”

Luke, who had slid about as far down in his seat as he could without falling right off, grimaced and looked up at his father with an expression of contrition. “Yes, sir,” he mumbled before stuffing a small pastry in his mouth.

Vader turned on his heel and swept out of the dining room, leaving it in a thoroughly uncomfortable silence. The Princess was resting her hand on Luke’s shoulder and giving her brother, who appeared mortified, a sympathetic look. The Empress had returned to her seat, looking nonplussed, though she had regained some measure of her former severity. 

Once again, Han shifted in his seat and avoided everyone’s gaze. He was starting to get a clearer picture of what he’d gotten himself into. Now he found himself wondering if he’d finally manage to get in over his head.

[retvenkos]

hi! i’d like to request a ship in two of the Star Wars eras (you choose!), and Harry Potter (any era!) i am a bisexual woman, i am 5’10! i am a Hufflepuff and an INFP. i enjoy writing and photography and spending time with my family and friends. i am pretty smart, quiet, and reserved until i get to know someone, which I when I feel much for comfortable to open up to them and to be myself. i love making people around me happy and making them laugh and i notice very easily if something is wrong. i am also very self conscious about my appearance. some things that i dislike are failure and being alone and just generally feeling like i’m not good enough! thank you and congrats on 2.5k!!

Star Wars OG Trilogy:

I ship you with Luke Skywalker!

okay, so the two of you are so sweet together. luke is a sweet farm boi who believes the best of everyone and has an idealistic view of the world, just like you. you both are the optimists™ of the group, and if you go on adventures w/ leia and han, it’s perfect because you two are up against the realists, and very little gets done, if leia doesn’t put her foot down and get everyone to agree on a plan.

luke loves how smart you are, and how you’re a creative thinker, constantly coming up with new ways to look at things. honestly, you have gotten the group out of some pretty bad situations before, with your creative ideas and han’s piloting skills. they probably would have died a couple of times over had it not been for you. 

you’re intuition and knack of reading people definitely comes in handy with luke, because he doesn’t always want to let his fears be known, but you are able to see them in him, and you gently coax him into talking. 

and luke is so glad he can lean on you - he feels like he doesn’t need to keep secrets from you, and that’s really special.

and both of you are very loyal to your values - you have strong moral codes that you could never break, and so you both would never ask the other to compromise on what you believe. both of you would rather die trying to find a way out than do something you don’t believe in, and that’s good for relationship stability, seeing as you guys are faced with tough problems almost every day.

you both also love your families! you love spending time with friends and family, even if you aren’t doing much else, so you definitely spend a lot of quality time together (that’s probably luke’s love language, ngl).

also, luke is probably the most genuine person in all of star wars, so you know that whenever he gives you compliments he means them, and both of you really value that in the other.

and at the beginning of his journey, luke is funny and loves to laugh, and while he grows into someone more wise and subdued, hils love for jokes never leaves him entirely, and you are able to make him laugh like he used to on tatooine, and that’s very sweet.

you bring out the best in luke, and he brings out the best in you!

the two of you definitely have early morning talks - his hair is still messy and he’s still smiling from being half in a dream, and you give him a hug from behind and lean your chin on his shoulders while you watch the sunrise. 

also! while luke tinkers with machinery, you definitely hang out with him, either writing or just watching him work. the two of you like to spend a lot of time in each other’s presence, doing small things.

Star Wars Clone Wars:

I ship you with Ahsoka!

alright, but you would treat ahsoka right. all you want is for her to be happy, and honestly, who doesn't?

something that ahsoka loves about you is how genuine you are - maybe you’re tough to get to know (she’s certainly no stranger to closed off people), but you are a very authentic person once you open up. you never keep secrets or try to be double. you offer a kind of transparency that ahsoka appreciates and really loves. 

you are also very passionate in your beliefs, and that’s something you and ahsoka share. when you believe in something, you trust it with your whole heart, and while both of you are easily blindsighted to the evils of what you believe in, you both share that heart that could be disastrous in other relationships. you never blame the other for believing too much. after everything that happened with the jedi, ahsoka is a little more wary of who she puts her trust in, and that’s good for the both of you, since you often make big decisions together.

and that leads me to another point - you being so thoughtful and aware of those around you. this mostly stems from you being a little averse to conflict, but you notice when something is wrong really quickly, and you are not afraid to ask ahsoka what is going on. this is good for ahsoka because it not only prompts her to take a step back and focus on herself for a second, but it also allows ahsoka to be vulnerable, which isn’t something she likes doing. 

you are able to comfort her and allow her to show you the part of her that is still hurting, and that’s really special, tbh.

ahsoka also loves how smart you are - she’s glad you can keep up with her and are even smarter than her in many ways. ahsoka needs someone to keep up with her, and while she always has you on your toes, you pleasantly surprise her quite a lot.

and you’re also very emotionally intelligent, which i will remind you, once again, is perfect for ahsoka. she often doesn’t know how to talk about her feelings - she just feels them, and you just somehow know what she’s talking about? and you can sympathize with her? wow. she loves that.

i also think that the two of you were pen pals for a while - she keeps all of your letters and even if she’s not the best at always replying back, she will find the time to send you one, reminding you to keep sending her updates because she really misses you.

oh, and the two of you love to take pictures together. her’s are more funny pictures of the two of you, all of them slightly blurred so they have that suggestion of chaos to them, and all of yours a little more clear and a little more melancholic. 

also, ahsoka does wonders for your self esteem. she is constantly telling you how much she appreciates you, and she is big on giving you the look™ that is just so full of love and admiration.

[shadow-assassin-blix]

It’s a Grey Area

Chapter 1

Gif: from one @tintinwrites​ bless your face

A/N: this is a fix-it AU. Kylo and Rey killed Snoke, and Kylo switches sides. Luke is alive (for now), still a piece of shit tbh. Set between 8 and 9. Hux is public enemy #1. Main character is an Original Character not Reader (sorry, but also… not??). Enjoy. Tell me if you catch the Star Trek references.

It had been about 2 months since the events on Crait, and the desperate escape to the ships where Rey stood with Kylo Ren at her side. No one knew who was more surprised, Leia or Luke, at seeing him there. No one really knew what to say or think on the way to Ajan Kloss. Even less so after it was announced that Ben was on now our side after spending hours talking to Leia, privately.

There were those who were angry that he was here and considered his actions unforgivable, though they would never say anything to him or General Leia about their feelings. Most people avoided him, others like Blix, did not care about his presence.

Blix, or Dr. B as her underlings called her, did not care about the family drama surrounding the Solo-Skywalker family. Her focus was on her patients and the medical wing she ran. Blix had been working with the Resistance for almost a year now, as a favor to Admiral Holdo, who she knew through family.

When Amilyn approached her about the job, she had just finished school, and was looking for work. Blix was hesitant to take it, because she had been raised to be see the grey areas. Her mother was an ambassador, she was meant to follow in her footsteps and see both sides of the conflicts. Working openly with the Resistance contradicted that mentality.

Through some bribery (mainly food) and a whole lot of guilt, Amilyn talked her into joining the cause. Blix soon found that she enjoyed working there. It kept her busy, even if she did get tired of certain aspects like supply or staff shortages.

At present, she was waiting on the shipment of medical supplies to be delivered to the infirmary. Two of the three crates were ready to be opened, while the third was being situated. After she signed off on the delivery, she grabbed a crowbar to begin cracking them open.

As she peered inside, she sighed heavily, “What the fuck..?” All of the supplies were scattered and scrambled. “I make one request. One stinkin’ request. Leave the supplies in their boxes. Don’t empty them out like some animal. Now, I have to waste the day sorting and doing inventory,” she muttered annoyed.

“What’s up Dr. B?” questioned her second in command, Amber, as she walked over.

Blix gestured to the box and as Amber looked in she groaned loudly, “Again!? How!? This is like what? The third time?”

“Yep. Like we don’t have enough on our plate, being short staffed. Now, we have to deal with suppliers who think that what? This saves room? I don’t know, but I am getting sick of it,” She responded.

“I understand. Umm. Let me go find Bre, she sounded bored earlier, I’m sure she’ll come in to help with this chaos,” Amber suggested with a shrug before walking away to find her.

“Thank you!” She called out as she grabbed a few free tables to use to start sorting everything. Once the tables were up and ready, Blix began to sort everything from Bacta to Meds. Amber returns 5 minutes later with Bre in tow, and they began to count, and put away the supplies.

An hour has passed, and we were almost to the bottom of the first crate, when Blix hears a familiar pair of boots step inside the Medbay.

“Commander Dameron, unless you are injured or require some sort of medicine for whatever ails you, than you do not need to be here,” She called over shoulder, not bothering to look at him.

Commander Poe Dameron stopped mid step and asked, “How do you do that? I didn’t say a word.”

She shook her head and continued sorting, hoping that if she ignored him, he would lose interest.

“Two things. First…I heard an interesting rumor about you today,” he teased.

She turned to him with a sigh, leaning against the table, “You know with how often you come in here to tell me about some rumor about me, I’m starting to think YOU are the one creating these rumors.”

It was his favorite thing to do it seemed. He would come in with some new rumor that had been created surrounding her and ask for her to confirm or deny it. Or even to just gossip about rumors he heard.

“Me? Create rumors about you? Never,” he scoffed jokingly, pointing to himself. “No. I hear that you have never been on an away mission. True or false?”

She frowned at the statement, “Why does this intrigue anyone? I’m a doctor, not a soldier. I’m busy.”

“Uhh. Because you are a part of the Resistance? It’s kinda expected of everyone to go on a mission or fight at some point,” Poe responded with a frown.

Blix shrugged and said “Not part of my job description, I’m a healer not a fighter. Now what’s the second thing so I can get you out of my Med Bay?”

Poe blinked at the change of subject and looked as though he wanted to say something else, but shook it off, and with a charming smile exclaimed “Wow! You haven’t shooed me out yet. This is a new record. Usually you get annoyed with me after 2 minutes.”

Amber and Bre were giggling from across the room, well aware that the Commander liked to push his luck far too often and has been chased out of the bay with threats of being knocked unconscious. Poe noticed the tapping of Blix’ foot, indicating she was losing her patience, so he quickly threw out, “So, how about you and I finally have that date you keep refusing?”

Blix rolled her eyes playfully. Commander Poe Dameron was a handsome man, and he knew it all too well. This was not the first time he has asked her to dinner, and she usually politely said no as a response or cited regulation to him. She shook her head slightly, making her hair fall over face and in an attempt to hide the smile that was creeping on her face.

“If that is all, Commander, could you please leave, so we can get back to work?” Blix asked turning back to her sorting.

Poe leaned over and loudly whispered to the girls, “You heard, that right? That wasn’t a flat no? Nor regulation? The chance is still there?”

Amber and Bre stifled their giggles as best as possible and mouthed “yes, now go, you fool.”

Poe walked away with a grin and as he stepped outside, he thought back to the conversation. He found it odd that the one of the lead doctors of the Rebellion has never been out in the field. He decided then, that that needed to be fixed, and began to hatch a plan.

[threadsketchier]

Thank you for the long reply, it was great to read it :)

Actually, I don’t see Luke’s behaviour as unhealthy (yet). He might get there when the story progresses, he might not (let’s hope - well, you probably know the answer to that ;D). It seems to me that he is seeing the vulnerable position his father finds himself in and decides that for right now helping his father is the most important thing, even at some cost to Luke’s own needs/wishes. It might get to the point of being unhealthy but I, as a reader, don’t feel we are there yet. I am very curious how it will go in the story.

And the next installment seems to show that Luke is indeed aware of the many dangers ahead and also that his dreams of the future are most likely just that - dreams. I’ll be dreaming with him for a while ;D

It’s great to see his new understanding with Piett, too. The admiral is not aware that Anakin didn’t know who Leia was until recently, right?

Heh, sorry to be so longwinded, your fic seems to have dragged me out of my quiet lurking corner ;)

As always, I very much look forward to what you’ll share with us next :)

KA

Thanks for your thoughts - I guess I’m glad he’s not coming off that way, lol?  Even though narratively I’d prefer it lean that way for the sake of a character arc.  XD

Yeah, Luke’s not completely unrealistic about his expectations, he knows there’s certain things he’ll never get back regarding his father, things he’ll probably never be able to do, and there’s going to be a lot of compromise and thorniness involved.  He was surely already preparing himself for that all the way back in the middle of ROTJ.

No, Piett didn’t know that specific detail when Luke first dropped the sibling bomb, but tbh, Vader was maiming his son when he already knew his identity and that didn’t stop him - it’s kind of a “would it really matter if Vader had known or not, because he’s awful either way” situation***.  But Piett’s a smart cookie - it’s easy for him to extrapolate that Vader was ignorant because Leia wasn’t involved in the Skywalker hunt, except for being bait at Bespin.  If he’d been trying to capture both of them, that would have spelled it out right there that he was aware of both twins.

(***Piett wasn’t privy to knowing Luke was Vader’s son either - the OT films don’t make it explicit, but it appears likely that Vader kept this info close to the chest, so his Skywalker obsession would be chalked up to either wanting to bring the Death Star pilot to gruesome personal justice or because he was a baby Jedi and needed to be either snuffed out or harvested for the Emperor.  So...I know Piett wouldn’t have realized the significance of the Bespin confrontation at that time either, not to that extent.  But that wild goose chase across the galaxy would definitely make sense in hindsight once he finds out about Luke here in this story.  Thus, in turn, mentally analyzing all this in retrospect, he’d be able to suss out that Vader was clueless about Leia the whole time.)

[back2ben]

Incoming transmission: REN,KYLO/ SOLO, BEN from the planet of CHANDRILA is making arrangements to land on batuu. the THIRTY year old HUMAN is here to become COMMANDER OF THE FIRST ORDER. keep a close eye on them, i hear they can be CRUEL, CONFLICTED, and EMOTIONAL. they have documented that they always bring their CROSS GUARD LIGHTSABER with them. (adam driver, cis male, he/him, heterosexual) // b, 21, she/her, est

hi everyone!! c;

introducing the emo king himself

(also I am v nervous about writing Kylo since he’s such a layered & deep character so bare with me!!!!) 

also lots of this is obviously known as its canon already but I figured I would just put a little recap in case! (and tbh towards the end I ran out of steam im sorry)

"With the blood of a scoundrel and a princess in his veins, his defiance will shake the stars."

Born Ben to father Han Solo and mother Leia Organa (named after Obi Wan uwu) As a child, Ben spent most of his time playing with Han’s gold dice or hanging around Chewbacca, who he lovingly called “Uncle Chewie.” As he grew up, Ben learned a lot from those around him, such as strong piloting skills from his father and speeder flying and blaster firing from Chewbacca. 

Due to both Han and Leia’s professions, they were often busy, leaving Ben with feelings of abandonment and distance from his parents. He gravitated towards his twin sister, finding a strong sense of family in her. He still loved his parents, despite the distance that had formed between them.

"For many years, there was balance and then I saw Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood."

Growing up, Ben was unaware of the truth about who his grandfather was. He was 23 and still had not been told by his mother the connection that the two men shared. 

Leia, sensing the force growing stronger within Ben, sent him to her brother, Luke Skywalker to begin Jedi training as part of Luke’s attempt to restore the Jedi Order. It was obvious to Leia that her father and her son had strong similarities and she hoped that Luke would help to keep Ben from turning to the dark side of the force. 

Luke too tried to keep Ben sheltered from the truth about his family, which only lead Ben to feel isolated and distant while training under him as well. This allowed for the dark voice of Snoke to work its way into Ben’s mind, connecting him to the dark side. 

It was around this time that Ben, now 24, had also found out the truth about his family as one of Leia’s political rivals in the Galactic Senate had let the information out in a very public way. Ben was hurt, and felt betrayed that his own family had kept such a secret from himself and his sister and he had to find out this way.

It was becoming increasing evident to Luke as he observed Ben’s training that the darkness was growing inside of his nephew. Luke went to his nephew's bedroom one evening with the intentions to confront him. Standing over Ben, who was sleeping, Luke was able to sense that Ben had already been corrupted by Snoke who was using his strength in the dark side of the force on Ben. Luke could see death and destruction that Ben would someday bring and therefore, instinctively, Luke drew his lightsaber, with the brief intention to kill his nephew, but did not act on it. However, it was too late as Ben was awoken to his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber raised. Ben was immediately aware that his uncle had been able to look into his mind, and feared for his life knowing the contents within. With panic in his heart, Ben was the one to strike first and ended up using the force to collapse the hut he had been staying in on his uncle. Ben believed that he had ended his uncle’s life there.  With anger taking over his judgement, Ben ended up setting the Jedi temple on fire and ended the lives of the students that Luke had been training,  crushing the hopes of the restoration of the Jedi Order and granting him the name “Jedi Killer.” Of course, he had spared his sister, who he felt like was the only one who had ever cared about him. The guilt that Ben felt was immediate and strong, and he could only repeat over and over within himself that he had not wanted this to happen. It was the voice inside his head that helped him to cope with the destruction he had caused, telling him to not place blame on himself but rather on his uncle. 

"And when you called yourself by that new name, you saw your truth. It represents what you want to do on a deep level. The part of yourself you want to cut away. The part you want to kill. Perhaps someday you will do it. The galaxy will hear that name and see you."

Now, turning to Snoke and the Knights of Ren, Ben changed his name to Kylo Ren. He worked hard under Snoke’s training, wanting nothing more than to be part of the new generation that would bring the dark side to power. Now, all Kylo wanted to do was put his past behind him. The man worked hard to use the emotional conflict within him in order to turn his pain into strength. His only goal was to destroy any last traces of the Jedi. 

Ren's destain for and desire to put the light side of himself behind him was a main catalyst in the overall way that Kylo viewed his family and heritage. The man became to idolize his grandfather, wanting nothing more than to destroy the Jedi and crush any light side of the force that was left. He believed too Darth Vader was the true version of his grandfather and that his legacy was a great one except for the error that he made turning towards the light. Kylo felt a strong connection to his grandfather, wanting nothing more than to become the man he was, if not stronger. 

Kylo’s search for Luke Skywalker and desire to crush the resistance only lead him to continuously be faced with strong emotions of conflict within himself. He could feel the force awakening once more and knew that things were crucial. However, he still remained conflicted no matter how hard he tried to turn from it. Kylo hated himself for this, wanting nothing more than to be able to give in solely to the dark side and not repeat the mistakes that his grandfather had made.

Things became even more complicated when meeting the scavenger, Rey, who for reasons that Kylo could not grasp, was someone he was simultaneously drawn to and countered by, which was obvious when Rey was able to read into his mind back after capturing her on Takodana.

Crucial Moments:

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. And I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?"

The conflict within Kylo was only growing, and to him, it was only making him weaker. Upon seeing his father for the first time in years, Kylo informed his father that he had killed Ben, his past self that he believed was weak and foolish. Despite his father trying to convince him that Snoke was manipulating him, Kylo had let his father know that it was too late for him, the man was already too far gone. Despite Kylo’s father’s pleas for his son to return home to his family, Kylo had a deep feeling within himself in the moment. He felt that this was going to be the moment that he would finally be able to be free from the conflict that was within him, and free from the last bit of his past that he believed was causing him to be so weak.  Kylo then murdered his father, the belief that he would then be free of this inner turmoil acting as the drive behind the murder. It didn’t take long for Kylo to realize that the death of his father at his hand did nothing if not complicate the struggle within him. The man was even more conflicted than ever. 

There was also the second realization that hit him, that he would have to tell his sister what had happened to their father. Unable to tell her, for fear of losing his lifelong friend and only person who had stood by his side, Kylo told her that it was the resistance who had murdered Han, causing her to search for his murders despite the murderer being right in front of her the whole time. 

"I've failed you, Ben. I'm sorry."

Another crucial moment for Kylo was seeing Luke Skywalker once again, after fully committing as Supreme Leader. Clouded by anger, and pain, Kylo ignored signs that the man was not really there, obsessed with the desire to kill Luke to make up for all the pain he felt. Realizing that Luke was not really there, Kylo quickly realized that he had given into his emotions and made a vital mistake. The resistance had escaped and Kylo had let them slip through finger tips. Kylo became aware that day that his emotions might not be under control as he once thought. 

Headcanons:

He is still conflicted, he can feel the light constantly pulling him.

Kylo is now regrouping and planning the first order’s next steps on Batuu, where he had got word that rebel alliance members might be occupying & weird things were happening overall.

He is Supreme Leader of the first order and had asked Rey to join him, which she declined. 

He is unsure of his connection with Rey and is partially fascinated while also terrified. 

more will be added! 

[taule]

Don't bite your tongue, sis. I really want to hear your thoughts!

@nonnie​, @tories & @catalina-infanta beware of what you ask for :/

I have completely stopped keeping up with things, but every now and then I still catch a glimpse of some new idiocy that’s been released and with that I feel like ST is becoming some sad parody of itself tbh.

And the more and more they keep painting Rey in this way… you know that she doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together to figure out what Ben really wanted when he held his hand out to her (you know, because she’s such a deep, thoughtful and preternaturally sensitive person), given the way he’s let her in, but nevertheless views herself as his moral superior via being publicly declared to be a self-insert by Disney who would use her to attach the audience to the narrative and thus defend whatever she does, because she’s the first-person avatar. And really, how many people do have the self-awareness to examine her actions objectively at this point? All I see is people blindly defending this supposed “complexity” in her even though it’s literally not in the script, which is a prime example of how people attribute qualities to her because of the way they relate to her. And I’m like… no, what you are saying is that you are complex. This no longer has anything to do with the character Rey is on paper.

And I think it’s also evident in how there’s notable differences to people’s interpretation of her as a whole, like for example her capacity for darkness, and vulnerability to it. The more I look at it… the more this whole concept of true balance remains purely theoretical, it’s just a word they use and little more. If you for the sake of a mental exercise remove the Force from the equation and their respective skills in it, what are you left with? I can’t say that she’s completely devoid of empathy, but it’s like the writers only remember that for 15 minutes each film, then it somehow slips out of all awareness. And it just gets worse in each of these comics etc.

Ahh…and then there’s the other unfortunate component - Leia. Like, nobody deserves a mother like that. I really hope for the sake of their kids that people haven’t been taking parenting cues from that one. It’s bad enough she’s considered a personal role model simply for her genetic extraness….

I mean for her to sit there with Rey, seemingly oblivious to her own role in how Ben fell into the dirty paws of uncle Snoke in the first place, and tell her that “perhaps she should ask him”…. It’s possible that they thought this would read as her giving Ben a chance to tell his own side of the story, unlike uncle Luke who was ready to chop his nephew to pieces. But it’s just not enough to convince me that she at all gives a shit. They haven’t been able to really establish her maternal feelings for her son in the few dropped phrases that never reached her eyes and now I’m supposed to believe that she’s saying this out of consideration for Ben? So for this reason it looks to me much more like her rejecting her responsibility in the “it can’t be helped” manner. 

Here of all places she ought to have seen the importance of her making Rey understand that Ben falling to the dark side was not a simple question of choice. She of all people knew it best. But she couldn’t find it in herself.

And simultaneously I kept thinking about the probablility of someone as traumatized as Ben seeing his own path clearly. He heard his own parents call him a monster when he was a little kid, before any of this happened. When Rey called him a monster, his immediate response was “Yes, I am.” And they expect me to believe that he is able to articulate what happened to him, without anyone else taking responsibility for their part in it, when all he has experienced his whole life is being left without help? Honestly, who the hell is writing this shite?

So yeah… in short. Rey doesn’t deserve Ben until she can scrape together some real empathy (shockingly not the same as curiosity and a sense of justice). And neither does Leia. And it’s abosolutely revolting to me when these two are placed in a position where Ben’s redemption somehow appears to depend on their forgiveness. For what?

WHat Teh FUCK.

[cesarescabinet]

Unosuke, Inspector Zenigata, Luke Skywalker

Unosuke

favorite thing about them: I genuinely love how he looks--his aesthetic. If he were an anime character he’d have arguably my favorite character design. It all works together so well--the scarf, the pistol, and even the way he presents himself in his kimono. I love how he’s equal parts foppish and intelligent. He’s the youngest brother, he’s the smartest brother, and he’s going to make sure he’s one good looking gangster damn it. I also love the brief comedic touches Nakadai adds to the character that really scream “yeah this is the youngest sibling alright”. 

least favorite thing about them: Well...he is a gangster, and a bastard at that. A lovable bastard, but a bastard nevertheless. (Alternatively: He’s a character that deserved more focus. I feel like he has potential to be fleshed out more, but I know Kurosawa’s whole point was not making a sympathetic gangster ala Matsunaga from Drunken Angel. Not saying Unosuke should be sympathetic—but rather explored more from a character front.) 

favorite line: "Who’s banging that prayer drum? I don’t need any prayers…” (Here I think the audience gets that Unosuke is self aware and knows that he’s getting what he deserves. It’s bits like this in the movie coupled with Nakadai’s acting that I think flesh out the character a bit for me.)

brOTP: Sanjuro and Unosuke, because Kurosawa robbed us of a great bromance that could have been. Mainly, though, because they recognize each other as equals and seem to see each other as necessary threats. Unosuke even calls Sanjuro “two-bit” like some sort of nickname at some points.

OTP: None. Tbh I think Unosuke would probably be a pretty shit boyfriend considering.

nOTP: None, thankfully.

random headcanon: Unosuke is a spitting image of his father, except his father was actually a good man. Another is that he has a drive to prove himself and is more insecure than he comes across. 

unpopular opinion: I think in general I probably like this character moreso than Kurosawa intended for the audience to—but I don’t think I’m alone on this front. You cast a charismatic actor in a villain role--what do you expect, exactly?

song i associate with them: His theme (which sounds like something out of The Jungle Book so it’s appropriate), and a certain Nancy Sinatra song (for obvious reasons). 

favorite picture of them: Dat jawline tho.

Koichi Zenigata

favorite thing about them: His devotion to justice. I love the fact that he’s willing to work with Lupin when he recognizes that there are bigger criminals to take down and does have respect for him.  

least favorite thing about them: His ego tends to get the better of him.

favorite line: None—he has too many good lines to pick just one.  

brOTP:  Lupin and Zenigata. It’s a delightfully love-hate relationship for the both of them and Lupin referring to him as Pops cements it.  

OTP: None in particular. 

nOTP: None

random headcanon: None

unpopular opinion: None

song i associate with them: Zenigata March variation. I think it encompasses all the aspects of his character. 

favorite picture of them: Does this count?

 (courtesy of just-zenigata-things)

Luke Skywalker

favorite thing about them: I like how Luke has limits, interestingly enough. He’s willing to believe in the best in people up to a point—in the OG trilogy he wants to believe in the good in his father but recognizes that it may be too late for him. Regardless, he keeps that hope. It’s a realistic bit of character building that people can emphasize with.

least favorite thing about them: He’s too stubborn at some points and that costs him quite a bit over the course of the story. Also he was originally whiny but then again—he changes over the course of the story.

favorite line: “You failed, your Highness. I am a Jedi like my father before me”. Beautifully poetic line and gives me all sorts of feelings. 

brOTP:  Luke and Han

OTP: None

nOtp: Luke and Leia for obvious reasons. 

random headcanon: Luke wonders quite often what could have been if his father had survived and carries the grief of his death for decades. 

unpopular opinion: None

song i associate with them: Binary Sunset 

favorite picture of them: Kevin Wada, baby.

[misscrawfords]

Also, I also prefer that Rey isn't the daughter/grandaughter of someone of the OT but she will probably be. Making her a Solo is too unrealistic, she will probably be a Skywalker and it will probably make little sense.

Rey Solo is a terrible idea that I see no possibility of happening. So Leia had a second child who would be exactly Rey’s age, abandoned her on a desert planet, met a highly force sensitive young woman years later who had been abandoned on that same planet and at no point thought, “MAYBE IT IS MY LONG LOST DAUGHTER” and neither did Han? I mean, wow. Then Rey connects to Han as to a father figure, which is beautiful because she doesn’t know her father and he has lost his son and is actually more symbolically moving precisely because he ISN’T her biological father, and then he dies in front of her? What a missed opportunity for the franchise to milk that further by having Rey reunite with her father and then immediately lose him! Which didn’t happen. Rey Solo makes zero sense.

I agree with you that Rey Skywalker would be a very disappointing move, but I disagree in that I don’t think it will happen.

Many people have written really good metas on why Rey Skywalker is a) bad and b) not going to happen, and I’m not going to try to compete, but in brief:

- Luke had a one-night stand/relationship and either never knew she was pregnant or abandoned the girl/his daughter? Luke, who was entirely driven by a desire to live up to his father and then, when he knew who his father was, to save him? Does this sound even vaguely in character? True, we don’t know the circumstances of Rey’s birth and abandonment but this would all boil down to Luke being dangerously ignorant of his actions and consequences or being an abandoning douchebag and neither ring true.

- Absolutely no foreshadowing between Han, Leia, Chewie, the droids that possibly Rey might be related to them. No half finished line, no anxious glance. It’s a big universe, lots of possibilities for other force sensitive children. If the only people who can use the force in the entire universe are Skywalker, it’s, uh, going to get incestuous for real at some point one way or another.

- The Skywalker gene pool and legacy are absolutely being carried forward in the sequel trilogy by Kylo Ren. Rey isn’t and couldn’t be ‘the’ Skywalker. That place is already taken. Darth Vader’s legacy is being explored already. Why rehash Luke’s story of “omg I’m related to this legendary family and I never knew how am I going to deal with it” when you have the far more interesting stories of a) “I know exactly what my legacy is and what it’s costing my family and this is how chronically messed up it is through the generations like a Greek tragedy” for Kylo and b) a nobody gifted with extraordinary powers which would parallel Anakin in the Prequels and contrast with Kylo, who is too burdened by his family’s past. Rey otoh is a blank slate. That’s interesting. Repeating Luke’s story isn’t. (The counter argument to that is that TFA paralleled ANH quite a bit and if TLJ is lazily written perhaps it will parallel ESB too much in this way too.)

- Various people involved in the film have made comments that suggest that Rey is not related to anyone in TFA and that she is all about finding new family bonds not relying on blood ties. And tbh considering how terribly family bonds work in this universe, this would be a clever parallel and statement in which to conclude the three trilogies - with found families and disparate people finding strength and companionship and love with each other, even without blood ties. Of course Daisy Ridley and the rest may be lying about this to make the reveal a surprise. But there have been sufficient such statements to make it seem unlikely.

- Reveal the surprise? There is literally NOTHING surprising about Rey being a Skywalker. It is a rehash of ESB and plenty of people expect it because they don’t want to see Kylo Ren as the Skywalker of the new generation and they see Luke being a mysterious Jedi and Rey being an abandoned child with Jedi powers and they assume a connection. Luke saying, “I am your father” would be the biggest, yawning anticlimax of a generation. Honestly, it would probably make a cinema audience laugh/grown because how else could you react? I believe TLJ will parallel ESB in various ways and probably that will involve a shocking revelation about a character or some event or discovery that will shift the way we see a character and their relationships, but it’s not going to be the exact same one as in ESB. TFA did not copy the characters of the OT and so it cannot realistically copy their relationships. I suspect the “shocking twist” will revolve around Kylo showing a conscience and Rey being tempted to the dark side, though that’s been pushed so blatantly in the adverts that there is probably a further twist.

- Make Rey a Skywalker and what on earth do you do with the romantic/sexual literary coding between her and Kylo? Modern Americans consider cousins as incestuous so it’s unlikely the film would actually go there… The kind of “treacherous bond” they apparently have, the hints of feelings, the admiration under the hate, the recognition of a kindred spirit, having seen each other in dreams… this is not a familial bond being described! Compare with the much lighter and sweeter awareness of each other that Luke and Leia had. This is not the same category of thing at all! And, to play devil’s advocate, if were meant to assume Kylo and Rey are related because of their shared awareness/past/dreams/force bond/whatever and we look to Luke and Leia… they’re twins. They had a bond with each other and with their father. Does the bond stretch further? Leia has a bond with her son. But if Kylo and Rey have this bond (a bond which is VERY differently described as to how it manifests itself and operates to how Leia senses Kylo and Luke and Vader sensed them both), then why doesn’t Leia sense Rey as her aunt? Absolutely nothing in TFA. Of course that could develop further but if it does later, then it creates a plot hole. And really, a bond between twins and parent and child is a really cool and engaging concept. But people have loads of cousins. It’s really not an exciting relationship on any level. Like, why would it be a thing? Why? I just don’t understand.

There’s more that could be said but it’s after midnight and I need to sleep!

I mean, all of this is idle speculation and people of course argue the opposite with equal levels of speculation and interest and obviously I think I'm right and they think they're right so it's really a pointless discussion (that's a hint to anyone who might want to try and use this post as a way of debunking all my arguments - I won't change my preference so make your own post please and thank you). The film might well do everything that I think would be lazy storytelling because Hollywood films are very often disappointing... and yes, I would very likely be disappointed!

[lexidanger]

My TLJ (way longer than expected) analysis/rant/review

DISCLAIMER: I work for Hasbro but knew NOTHING behind the scenes for this movie like I did for TFA, so I didn’t have any outside influence...also

SPOILERS GALORE, IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THIS MOVIE I SUGGEST SEEING IT FIRST ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE A SW FAN

I honestly have a lot of mixed feelings about this movie, because while there were things I absolutely adored in it, but there were also choices made that I really still can’t wrap my head around and ultimately have left me pretty disappointed, I’m not going to go over every little thing but if you have a question about how I felt about a certain character/scene etc just shoot me an ask and i’ll rant at you there. Anyways I’m gonna start with the good shit since I might get a tad ranty with the bad

THE GOOD

The opening sequence- The opening scenes were phenomenal imo, that was absolutely the way to start off the movie, It honestly held a lot of that SW nostalgia and felt really great action/tone wise, it pulled you in like a good hook should.

Leia- So i’m legit a huge emotional baby when it comes to stuff I love, I was already crying as soon as the opening crawl hit, but it wasn’t until they showed Leia the first time that both me and the girl next to me started sobbing (she turned to me and offered some tissues saying she made sure to bring a bunch so it was nice to have some emotional solidarity) But anyways Leia was great and i’m beyond happy with how they handled her which leads me to my next point…

LEIA USING THE FORCE- Everyone in the theater was crushed when she was thrown out into space, and as soon as the shot closed in on her body and she began to use the Force to bring herself back, you could hear the sigh of relief and amazement come from the crowd (as well as the sniffles because everyone was crying at this point) and it was such a magical moment to see her finally use the Force in a tangible way and shut up the fanboys who thought she wasn’t Force Sensitive. And speaking of one half of the twins...

Luke- As always Mark is an absolute delight and gift to this role, and it was so nice to see him back on screen again. A lot of people are crying out about how this movie “””””ruined him”””” by showing his more grey morality (THAT HES ALWAYS HAD B T W) but even as a dark sider I’ve always adored Luke and his views and he made me super proud in this movie. I’m honestly not ready for people to start demonizing him for "almost killing their precious Ben bby uwu” because again that was a moment with a lot of complexity on both sides that I think could bring up a lot of great conversations about Luke’s trauma in the war and wanting to prevent the loss of billions of lives.

Also as a side note I just want to say how heartwarming it was to see Luke reunited with R2, the moment he recognizes him the bitter old facade melts away and we see that sweet excited boy from Tatooine when he gets to talk to his best friend again after so long.

I’m so so sad to see him go, but honestly I couldn’t think of a better way for him to go out, I’m glad it was done in such a peaceful way (except maybe him actually going to Crait and pulling an Obi proper but thats a whole other issue)

Snoke- I adored Snoke, plain and simple. The few scenes he was in he commanded attention and I was honestly captivated by Serkis’ skills as a character actor once again. The CG work done on him was remarkable, his personality was actually very enjoyable and I really wish we got to see more of his Force mastery, it’s so rare we get to see it controlled on that grand of a scale and so effortlessly too (For those of you who read Darth Plagueis you know the difficulty that comes with using the Force on someone over hologram/long distance, so it was definitely a treat to see that). The potential of this character is remarkable and if anyone involved with SW media is smart they will tap into it and release more content with him ASAP

Rey’s Parentage- As someone who was an avid Rey Palpatine theory supporter, I just want to say how glad I am that Rey’s parentage proved to be of no significance, because in a way it still holds kind of what I wanted to see from her being related to Palpatine. I wanted them to show that really in the end, your bloodline doesn’t make you who you are, you decide who you want to be, not your past, and in a way they did that. They showed that someone from humble beginnings, like Rey and even Finn, can rise up to do amazing things, you don’t have to be part of a dynasty like the Skywalkers to be great.

Imagery/Portrayal of the Force- If theres one thing I can really commend this movie for, it’s the visuals. From the color contrasts of Crait to the trippy Force shenanigans everything was visually stunning. Leia using the Force to glide through the void of space to safety was such a magical moment I will never forget (and anyone calling it Mary Poppins or Superman flying is honestly just afraid to have whimsical moments in their SW and therefore a coward) the blend of CG and puppets was super great and using a puppet for Yoda’s return was such a great callback to the original trilogy. After watching so many Transformers movies its nice to watch an action flick that doesn’t rely on shaky cam to sell the intensity of a scene, but instead uses the art direction and imagery as it should.

Also as far as the Force goes, i’ve been so happy that we’re moving away from the two extremes. The Dark Side in not completely evil and the Light Side is not completely good, i’m just glad we’re finally showing that in the movies, and if it makes people mad then good, the truth hurts but they need to understand not everything is black and white.

Humor- Some might argue that a lot of the humor was oriented more towards the younger audience, but tbh most of the bits really hit with me (probably because I am a child) and provided some nice warm moments in what might be considered a tense and dark movie. We’ve been debating for years now how Luke’s first interaction with Rey would go, what would he say to her? What would he do? and it’s my belief that they could not have gone with a more appropriate choice than for him to toss the saber over his shoulder as he did (Luke’s “reach out” moment with her was also so nice and I’m 1000% convinced it was improv by Mark) The bits with the guardians of the island were great, the porgs were surprisingly enjoyable (if not still a bit bizarre) and my favorite running joke of all, turning Hux into what i’ve always seen him as, a huge joke, a slapstick prop to be tossed around and ridiculed, it was quite satisfying.

Additional things- Despite the fact that there wasn’t a saber on saber fight the entire movie, the Snoke’s Praetorian guard fight scene with Rey and Kylo will go down in history as one of the great fight scenes in SW history. Rose was such an amazing addition to the cast and Kelly is so talented, I’m happy she’s a part of the SW family now. And BOY you want to talk about memorable moments, Holdo’s lightspeed crash into Snoke’s Supremecy was absolutely breathtaking. The way it was shot, the sound design, everything was perfect and people are going to be talking about it for a very long time.

THE BAD

Snoke’s Death- The moment Snoke was killed off is the moment I feel like everything shifted in the movie, I was enjoying it quite a bit up until that point, and then as soon as the saber bisected him this huge wave of disappointment and disbelief washed over me, which is why this is probably one of the biggest mis-steps in the movie besides Phasma’s treatment. For years now we’ve been theorizing and trying to piece together who Snoke could possibly be, whether it be the return of an older character or him being his own thing and with every tiny piece of info that came out we were further pulled in to the mysteries that surrounded him. Who is he? What is he? Why does he look that way? How did he come to power? I never expected all of these questions to be answered in TLJ, but a piece of info or two thrown our way to reward our patience and interest in him would have been appreciated.

Instead what we got was nothing and a swift ridiculous death half way through the movie. To say that i’m crestfallen is a bit of an understatement. Those that know me are aware that I’m a huge dark side fan and an even bigger fan of Sheev Palpatine, he’s a compelling character in a lot of the ways Snoke has the potential to be, so to see another great antagonist along the lines of Palpatine just thrown away without any second thought or explanation is an awful thing to see.

And I’m aware that they are probably going to throw his backstory into a book or comic, which part of me is grateful for (especially since James Luceno, author of Darth Plagueis might possibly be writing it right now) but tbh you shouldn’t throw the responsibility of portraying a character off on someone else when you have more than enough time and opportunities to show it in the film. As someone who is heavily invested in the alternative media surrounding SW I still don’t think that you should put your viewers through that, making them ask questions about a character, pay for a ticket to possibly have some of those questions answered and then pull the rug out from under them like “Nope sorry you’ll have to buy the book when it comes out next year” it’s very in-accessible and just downright disrespectful to the writers that set him up for a decent arc.

Plenty of uninteresting things were prioritized over the interesting so don’t tell me they couldn’t have taken 10 minutes out of something inconsequential to slip in some context for this character. It’s such a shame to see an opportunity to flesh out a compelling character passed over for the purpose of subverting everyone’s expectations, cheap and unsatisfying. #AndySerkisDeservedBetter

Phasma- I want to say for the record that I am absolutely outraged, not only did we get even less Phasma than we did in TFA, but they “killed her off” in a way they can either bring her back and do what they said they were going to do after TFA which was give her a decent amount of screen time, or leave her dead. It’s honestly a travesty that they continuously recruit these talented actors to portray these characters and they get shafted as far as content and inclusion goes. I can’t even put my excitement into words when Phasma was first announced, I just wanted female Stormtroopers period but having a woman play a fierce Stormtrooper commander meant everything to me. But alas, just as Snoke it seems these directors can’t seem to find a place to put them amongst the other pointless plots that are stuffed into the film which brings me to…

Canto Bight- A beautiful planet/setting but very unnecessary as a whole. I mean the whole idea of them needing to go to a planet to get a random codebreaker to get on the ship in the first place is absolutely absurd when they’ve had countless ways upon these ships in the past. And the fact that they had to call up Maz so they could poorly stuff her into the movie for 2 minutes as she quickly rattled off their mission in a very Battlefront 2 manner was absolutely ridiculous. The casino itself was neat and I’m glad they touched upon the fact that these people got rich by selling weapons to both sides, but the whole animal chase sequence and everything with DJ felt so out of place and long and distracting from things that would have far better served the characters and plot.

Length- As someone who sat through Age of Extinction after drinking a large soda at the beginning of the film, trust me when I say I know when a movie feels long and this one felt unbearably so. Every time I thought to myself “oh this is it this is going to be the climax and resolution” they would set off on another escape plan. It’s like they came up with 5 different endings and couldn’t decide which one to use so they just kinda tacked them on to the end of each other. After learning that this movie was 3 hours at it’s original cut, I cannot imagine sitting through another hour of squished together side-plots and escape plans, if those cut scenes had more Snoke and Phasma it might’ve been worth it but something tells me it didn’t. We wont know until the bluray with all the deleted scenes comes out next year.

Rey as the future of the Jedi- There was fanboy outcry at the end of TFA saying that Rey was a “”””mary sue””” for being able to defeat someone like Kylo Ren with no lightsaber training/understanding of the Force, but all their arguments are bullshit and there was nothing unbelievable about Rey’s skill with a staff translating to a saber and embracing the Force to gain an edge over Kylo and defeat him.

Now in TLJ Luke’s training of Rey was set up (like many things) to be a main focal point in the story when in reality, it lasts maybe two days and in that time not much training happens at all, in fact Luke tries to show Rey why the Jedi should NOT continue. But in the end it’s very much eluded to that it’s now up to Rey to continue on the Jedi ways and teach a whole new batch of bright eyed young light siders. Rey was skilled enough in TFA to handle herself, but she was still very much a student in need of a teacher herself, something she got only briefly. I honestly have little faith that they can convincingly portray this if they choose to go this route.

Confusing moments with Holdo/Mutiny- I don’t know if was just me but with the movie as a whole being an overwhelming stream of events and developments, the whole Poe mutiny against Holdo was an absolute clusterfuck to me. It was obvious that Holdo was planning something and wouldn’t share it with Poe to the point where it was almost as if she was a traitor/spy and was running everyone into the ground on purpose, and I thought my suspicions were confirmed when she broke back out of custody, but then suddenly Leia shows up and stuns Poe?? Was she a Changeling??? What the fuck was going on??

And then it turns out that she just had a plan to stay with the ship and to get everyone to the Rebel base on the planet below THAT SHE WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE. Like if she would have been a little more up front with this plan I think things would have gone smoother and the whole Poe mutiny thing could have been avoided. It was all very necessary and created conflict and complexity where there didn’t need to be.

Confrontation- While the final confrontation between Kylo and Luke is impactful in it’s end, I think it would have been even more so had it not been needlessly complicated by having him project from Ahch-to. I mean he probably wouldn’t have survived the Walker blasts, but if he could project across the galaxy like that then he could’ve figured something out. When he showed up at the base out of nowhere my suspension of disbelief was already running thin with the loss of Snoke and Phasma, but seeing him look so different from what he looked like minutes ago just ruined the surprise of him not actually being there. I would have liked to see him reunite with Leia in person before becoming one with the Force, and I just think him being there and pulling an Obi Wan by disappearing and leaving the cloak behind just as he did with Vader would have been a nice call back.

Rose/Finn- This moment I did not see coming because tbh, there was no build up to it, and just like the infamous Steve Rogers/Sharon Carter kiss from Civil War, it was awkward and unnecessary and I’m fairly convinced this was added last minute to subvert fans from the whole Stormpilot ship, because you know, how dare us gays want to be included in SW right? Rose is a BRILLIANT character, and even tho Finn suffered the short end of the stick as far as development in this movie went, neither of them needed this rushed moment to make her action or their friendship any more meaningful.

Payoff- Although I was happy with Rey’s parentage I don’t like that it was made to be such an issue that ultimately ended up not being a big deal. Now a lot of this comes from the fact that Rian took it upon himself to “fix” some of JJ’s weaker elements from TFA, but instead of fixing them he eliminated what would have been really nice payoffs for the fans who’ve invested so much time and love into discussing this series. This also goes for Snoke, why create this mystery around this character and have people talking about him if you aren’t going to give them some kind of payoff in the end. That bit of satisfaction that we hoped to get just slipped away and  we’ll have to wait another 2 years to have another chance at it, or maybe not at all and thats incredibly frustrating.

In the end I had fun, but that fun just can’t make me forget about the glaring issues this movie had. And they’re not just issues, they’re needless issues, things that could have been easily avoided or fixed. At this point i’m not even really invested enough in the characters that are left to be excited for the next film.

So yes this film had problems, but is it the worst SW film ever? Is SW really dead? Absolutely not, everyone is being far too dramatic, which honestly isn’t surprising seeing as most of them still pretend the prequels had nothing of value and don’t exist.

It had problems.

Fix them.

Do better next time.

It’s as simple as that and if the filmmakers can’t recognize this film’s shortcoming to avoid making the same mistakes again, then it’s their own fault for the criticism they get. The film isn’t a total loss in the slightest and hopefully some of the deleted content will shed some light on a few things we so very much wanted to see.

[ladyknightliveblogs]

I was trying to stay off my computer, but still needed to liveblog, so have some more notes from my phone.

"for which Owen, a stolid man of the soil if ever there was one" listen, afaik moisture farmers don't really do much with soil per se? Do Earth epithet for farmers still apply on Tatooine?

Why does simply adding "unit" after "refrigerator" make it 99.99% more Sci-Fi?

"I don't think that man exists anymore. He died about the same time as your father." 1. You don’t THINK he exists but you know he died? Nice cover, Owen. 2. This line always punches me in the gut because from the same point of view that has Vader killing Anakin, this is also true: that Obi-Wan died with the rest of the Jedi, and that Ben took his place, sad and alone and careful and tired.

"...he scanned the rapidly darkening horizons for something small, metallic, three-legged, and out of its mechanical mind." Hey, you leave R2 alone, he's seen some Shit (tm). He’s allowed to be a lil crazy.

wtf tusken raiders are cyborgs? Wtf. Who knew.

"As [the raiders] traded vociferous opinions in a language consisting mostly of consonants..." idk I love this sentence look how absurd it is I LOVE IT

“[Each Bantha] was as large as a small dinosaur.” damn George, back at it again with those David Charleston metaphors.

“urged on by their anxious, equally outrageous mahouts.” There’s a lot going on here. One, the use of the word mahouts. Two, that George is calling the sandpeople and their banthas outrageous. Third, the use of the word mahouts.

Threepio calling Leia's hologram "melodramatic" like please...you're one to talk, buster.

survival school is a thing on Tatooine idk why I'm surprised. More amused really, tbh.

OMG LUKE BBY NO YOU CAN'T JUST FAINT IN FRONT OF THE TUSKEN PLS CHILD. Remember your survival school training that you had, come on kiddo. The raider didn't even hit him, he just keeled over. Like...pls son. Pls.

“A lost breeze idled absently down the canyon. Far off to the west, something howled. A rolling, booming drone ricocheted off canyon walls and crawled nervously up and down a gorgon scale.” Here he is, the love of my life, making the most DRAMATIC entrance POSSIBLE.

"It was tall but hardly monstrous." Well, I’m glad Obi-Wan isn’t monstrous, that’s nice to be assured of.

"Hints of extreme climates other than desert, of ultimate cold and humidity, were etched into that seemed face.” Alright, y’all can stop complaining that he looked “””too old””” in comparison to Bail Organa in Rogue One, this boy has been through Some Shit (tm) while Bail was busy Senatoring comfortably, so listen. 

“A questing beak of nose, like a high rock, protruded outward from a flash-flood of wrinkles and scars. The eyes bordering it were a liquid crystal-azure. The man smiled through sand and dust and beard, squinting at the sight of [Luke].” I cannot believe. I love him so much. I love that he has a giant Merriman nose and a Belgarath beard. I love him. I love him so much.

Artoo "conveniently forgetting" he also was scared by the roaring pls child.

"A smile of perverse youthfulness split that collage of wrinkled skin and beard." I love that every smile so far has been "boyish" or young in some way because he's not a fucking old as balls dude, right? He's like...50? But weather happened and he looks ancient but he's not he's wonderful listen, I love him.

"can't seem to remember owning a droid" what did R4 do to you, Obi-wan, that you so easily forgot him? Heheh. Also, just like...no one wiped Artoo's memory, shouldn't he know Obi-wan? Or be able to tell him "yo you gave me to Bail after Anakin self-destructed what up old buddy"? And tbh, you'd think Obi-wan would remember such a vital friend and droid as Artoo. @Lucas, sort this out.

Unless he's just pretending not to remember because he doesn't want Luke knowing?

Its a fucking dragon call Obi-wan PLS “It’s not too hard. Just takes the right attitude, a set of well-used vocal chords, and a lot of wind. Now, if you were an imperial bureaucrat, I could teach you right off.” OBI-WAN PLS CALM YOUR SASS I CANNOT HANDLE THIS?? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH?? HELP ME?

Luke is disappointed in 3PO because he's "defeatist" bby good luck curing him of that programming...

"I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person. My mission to meet personally has failed." Thanks for telling us twice,  Lucas. God, he needs a good editor.

"Do no fail us, Obi-wan Kenobi. Do not fail me." Wow okay, that's a little demanding there, Leia, it's not like you know each other well? Was this to get across the commanding 'princess' part of the character?

Though I will say her confidence that the Empire would capture her but get nothing out of her is amazing and painful, like, she KNOWS they are going to torture her, she KNOWS and she's not scared. She's just...going to handle it. Because she needs to. And that's. ..so much.

"You fought in the Clone Wars!? But that was so long ago!" "Um, yes," Kenobi acknowledged [...] "I guess it was a while back." THIS JOKER PLS like Luke just called him old as balls and he's like "yeah sure buddy" god I love him

"What's a duck?" GOOD LORD, SMOL DESERT SON, PLS.

Lucas is really down on this...the Emperor was corrupted not the corrupting force. Which is weird, like....everyone knows the emperor is evil this was never in question at any point in any of the movies...

Oh no, never mind, I read that wrong. To help the corrupt emperor not to help corrupt the emperor, my bad. Okay but still.

"Early man suspected its existence, yet remained in ignorance of its potential for millennia.” Okay, but if you think about us, the present, as ‘early man’ that's making it sound like this is future fantasy which is hilarious to me because “a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.”

"The old man suppressed a smile, aware that Luke’s destiny had already been determined for him. [...] Likely it had finalized even before the boy was born. Not that Ben believed in predestination, but he did believe in heredity--and in the Force.” I mean. Is it destiny then, or is it you, Obi-wan? You’re the one guiding him onto this path, does that not make it partially your fault?

OH MY FUCKING GOD LUKE JUST... OKAY. GUYS. I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A REALLY INCONGRUOUS PAGE BREAK/SCENE CHANGE, BUT WE GO FROM OBI-WAN TELLING LUKE THAT HE MUST DO WHAT HE FEELS RIGHT AND LUKE GOING “Right now I don’t feel too good...” TO LEIA GETTING FUCKING TORTURED BY VADER IN HER PRISON CELL. PLS.

TELL ME AGAIN THESE TWIN BABIES DON’T HAVE A FUCKING FORCE CONNECTION FUCK

"The metal door which began moving aside was as thick as her body--as if, she mused bitterly, they were afraid she might break through anything less massive with her bare hands." Pls, Leia, they have a right to worry about that. You are Strong.

"gliding smoothly, as if on treads" space heelys #confirmed for Vader

[threadsketchier]

Whumptober #28 - Beaten

I’m taking some major liberties here and using this as an opportunity to post a fic from like a year and a half ago (or probably more, I only know the date of the last edit on the doc) that’s sat in my Goog drive and doesn’t even have a real title yet.  The reference to today’s theme is only a minor part of the story, but I feel like the whole thing should be posted in order for it to read better.  I mean, everybody’s emotionally beat up in this, tbh.

Since it’s a bit lengthy I’ll use a Read More cut again.

@onwardintolight @culturevulture73 maybe you might like?  I’ll leave some additional notes for you after the end of the story behind the cut.

A familiar and blessed roar thundered through the ship as it bucked in response, catching the occupants of the cockpit off guard and tossing them back. The stars flared and stretched to infinity, pointing the way to freedom.

Incredulous relief rushed through Leia Organa despite the cacophony of electronic shrieking, Wookiee howls, and the histrionics of a spurned protocol droid exploding through the open hatch. Blowing out a harsh breath beside her, Lando cursed softly and muttered, “No, that was too close.”

Leia could only stare out the viewport for a moment, still not quite believing the last-second, well-nigh miraculous jump to hyperspace, half expecting it to be nothing more than a delusion. But the distant steady purr of the hyperdrive reassured her they'd truly made it. Against all odds. Again.

Anguish knifed through her heart at the absence of the one person who would have been crowing the loudest at this latest cheat of fate. She winced as the background din began to grate on her still-raw nerves and looked up at Calrissian.

“I'm on it,” he replied, obviously grateful to have something that could use his immediate attention—away from her. But he paused before exiting, casting a concerned glance at the third figure in the cockpit who hadn't yet moved or made a sound. Leia gave a small shake of her head. Go. I'll see to him, it said. With a hesitant nod Lando departed and mercifully shut the hatch behind him. Everyone's shouts and oaths and noises were still audible but muffled, easier to ignore.

Leia sighed quietly and turned to sit sideways. In the seat behind her Luke was motionless, his face rigid in a blank, glassy stare directed at the deck. She reached out with a light touch and murmured his name to draw him back to awareness.

He flinched at the mild intrusion, blinking and finally focusing on the hypnotic swirl of hyperspace. Insensible from shock, he'd taken no notice of what had happened in the previous few minutes. His wide eyes flicked back toward hers with the same disbelief she'd just felt.

“Yes, Luke, we made it. We're on our way back to the fleet now.”

Inwardly Leia fretted, If it's still there. Enough time had passed that concern about the location of the main Alliance fleet wasn't unfounded. Their last appointed rendezvous above the galactic plane should have been relatively secure, but if anything had caused them to scatter again while she and Han had been out lost and limping between systems...she didn't want to consider the consequences right then.

She and Han.

Not now. Luke needs me.

“I told you I'd be back,” she chided him gently. In their haste to flee Vader's encroaching flagship, she hadn't even had a chance to finish analyzing and treating him; his amputation had taken nearly all of her attention. The auto-tourniquet should have anesthetized the wound, but he was still cradling his arm protectively. Sorrowfully.

Barring an unforeseen shortage, Alliance medics would likely have a suitable prosthetic available in their inventory. Some short-term physical therapy and he'd be back in service. It was easy to consider things in such prosaic terms. But no amount of care was going to lessen or erase the trauma of what he'd gone through to suffer that loss. The damage she could read in his haunted demeanor was etched in as permanently as a tattoo, as irrevocable as the night terrors that lingered from her torment at Vader's hands. What psychotropic drugs had largely wiped from her conscious memory remained to emerge in the darkness between days. This was a kinship she would have never wished for Luke to share.

Alongside her worry and empathy for him bloomed a quiet amazement as well. Luke had faced Darth Vader in personal combat and survived. Less a hand and possibly his sanity, clinging to the literal edge of the bowels of Cloud City, torn and battered and bruised to a pulp—but he had survived. As distant as the hope now seemed, Leia could understand in greater depth the inspiration he posed to the Alliance as the resurrection of the Jedi Order. Destroying the Death Star had been an incredible feat, and his skill in flight for a man his age was exceptional, but this...this was going to make him a legend among the ranks, for better or for worse.

She didn't know much about his father beyond the rare and inflated talk that she heard whispered from time to time. But perhaps those tales about General Skywalker weren't all aggrandized vapor. In hindsight, Leia was somewhat surprised that her own father had never spoken of him when telling her the history of the Jedi. Those who were old enough to recall him in more detail had commented that Luke shared his looks, if not his height—as well as his recklessness and ingenuity. This day had proven that he carried more than a familial resemblance and fleeting, propaganda-fueled dreams of lost power.

Smiling faintly, she cupped his unmarred cheek in her palm to beckon him. “Come on.”

He seemed to gather himself a bit, drawing strength from the silent reassurance she tried to project to him. As she rose he stood shakily to follow her, and she draped his left arm across her shoulders. He leaned into her, his breathing labored with pain she had yet to address. A twinge of anxiety wrung her stomach at the possibility that he might have more extensive internal injuries.

Outside of the cockpit, they were met with a disgruntled Chewbacca nursing a sore head and an even sorer mood. Lando was down on one knee beside R2-D2, his attention fixed on the still-one-legged and precariously balanced C-3PO. “He said, sir, that the hyperdrive has indeed been fully repaired and is operating at peak functionality. It had merely been deactivated.”

Hearing them approach, Lando quickly glanced up at Leia. “Princess, I swear to you, my techs did as they were instructed. I had no idea—“

Gods, she just wanted to punch him. To break those perfect rows of teeth and the jaw that held them, make him bleed the way her soul was bleeding out from the gaping hole torn in her heart. In that moment she didn't care that the weight of an entire city must have pressed down upon him far more than the memory of a dubious friendship, just as she had tried to hold Alderaan fast while offering up Dantooine as a sacrifice. Every muscle in her body and razor shard of her spirit wanted to hurt him as terribly as he'd hurt her—

“Thank you.”

Her thoughts of violence jolted to a halt at the sudden, ragged whisper by her ear. Lando stopped and stared back at Luke, no doubt wondering about his state of mind when he was breaking into a conversation he wasn't even a part of.

“Thanks for bringing me in,” Luke said softly. He had no idea. All he knew of this man was that he was another ally, one who had aided in their escape and been willing to climb aboard the Falcon's windswept hull to pull a total stranger to safety.

Looking profoundly uncomfortable, Lando averted his eyes for a moment before waving away the gratitude. “It was nothing,” he mumbled.

Leia relinquished her anger in a long, slow breath. For Luke's sake she would cover it for now, like a dormant volcano beneath a glacier. Shielding herself in ice once more, she fixed Calrissian with a regal glare of dismissal and addressed Chewbacca instead. “Chewie, would you plot our next course?”

Deep-set blue eyes mirrored her own tension and grief, conveying the silent understanding between them that the former baron was not to be allowed near the controls for the rest of their journey. With a low whuff he set aside his tools and headed for the cockpit, to exit hyperspace and take several more randomized jumps before finally setting route toward the fleet.

As she passed by the droids, R2 gave a mournful little hoot at the sight of Luke's condition. Precocious astromech that he was, Leia still mouthed down at him, Keep an eye on Lando. His photoreceptor swiveled and winked at her and he replied with an affirmative chirp. Far less discreet, C-3PO exclaimed loudly while brandishing his detached leg, “Oh, poor Master Luke, you're in nearly as dreadful a state as I am! Did those horrid stormtroopers dismantle you as well?”

Leia turned her head back and shot him a look that threatened to smelt him where he stood, but to her surprise Luke coughed out a small, brittle laugh. “No,” he croaked, more to himself than the droid. “Not them.”

“Well, sir, rest assured, you'll soon be in excellent care, which is far more than I can say of this negligent, insensitive little swillpot...” His rattling and R2's ear-splitting retorts echoed down the passageway to the medical cabin.

A thorough scan with the medisensor revealed no other serious injuries beyond some bruised ribs, a couple of mild sprains, and dehydration, though he was practically one massive contusion from head to toe. Before going any further, Leia loaded an ampoule of painkiller into a hypospray and prepared to clean a spot on his exposed shoulder to deliver the dose, but paused when Luke leaned away from her, eyes flashing in fear.

It took only a moment for her to comprehend. “It's non-narcotic,” she reassured him, and he slowly dropped his gaze.

No, she knew all too well, she thought grimly. Sleep was the enemy, although his body would desperately need it. Later, between bacta treatments and surgeries, he would have no choice. But she would not force him into it now.

With a pair of shears, she carefully cut away the tattered and filthy remnants of his jacket and singlet to undress him without causing his arm any further discomfort. In the cool air of the ship, and at the icy bite of antiseptic solution and bacta salve, he began to shiver and curl in on himself. “I'll be done soon,” Leia whispered, trying to soothe him. He shut his eyes tightly as she dabbed at the scrape on his cheekbone, but she suspected it had nothing to do with the sting of her ministrations. She could tell he wanted to cry but was holding it back fiercely.

His last words to her on Hoth emerged from her memory. I have to go away for a while. Still simmering from her argument with Han, and not expecting to hear that both of the men she'd grown to care for so deeply were leaving her, she'd been too upset to let him continue. It hadn't been the first time Luke had stepped away from the Alliance for his own reasons either; not long after Yavin he had told her, Until I'm something more than I am now, I shouldn't even be here.

He had considered himself a danger, a liability, to both their tightly-knit group and the Alliance at large, as an untrained Jedi. The truth was that they were all hazards to each other, made vulnerable by the bonds they had allowed to form in spite of the risks they faced each day. The moment that Lando had revealed Vader's true motive for their seemingly senseless torture, everything had fallen into place with a terrible clarity. With his strong connection to both the Force and them, Luke had to have felt their pain; it was the only way he could have known exactly where to find them when their location was completely unknown to him.

Leia wondered where he had been all this time, where he'd managed to discover another place to learn the Jedi ways. Beneath ozone, sweat, and blood, the musky and mineral scents of wet earth and rotting vegetation clung to his fatigues. It had to have been a verdant, swampy place. She longed to ask him all about his experiences, but now was not the time. Perhaps never. While a limb could be replaced, his father's lightsaber could not, and this time there would be no retrieving it. Although he had been rescued, it was as if his soul had fallen away into the depths of Bespin's clouds, and only the shell of his body remained with them.

“There.” Disposing of the small pile of wrappers and gauze she'd made beside him, Leia stood and draped the blanket around his shoulders. “I'll be back in a few minutes.” She needed to bring him water and some clean clothes and extra bedding to make him at least a bit more comfortable while she finished treating him. But as she turned away his hand abruptly darted out and caught hers, stopping her.

“We'll get him back, Leia.” His voice was raw and thin, but held an edge of durasteel. “I swear.” Despair and determination fought against one another in his bloodshot gaze, and she realized he was clutching at the words as a lifeline, a promise not only to her but to himself. The sense of failure threatened to devour him just as it nipped at her heels and breathed down her neck daily, and if Han was lost forever, they would both be swallowed up.

If it would save him, she would stand in the path of the ravager and let it consume her first. She was well acquainted with her hunter. But now that they ran this road together, she knew he would never leave her side, and would only do the same for her.

Perhaps together, they might no longer be prey.

Leia nodded solemnly and squeezed his cold fingers in return, and kissed his cheek.  Slowly, reluctantly, he released her hand, as if letting her out of his sight for even a moment would shatter the illusion that he was safe, that she and everything else around him was real.

Yes, they would get Han back, because they had to.  Because it was the right thing to do.  Because she didn’t know how she would survive otherwise, not after she’d finally bared her heart and soul to him, too late.  But she wanted Luke to understand that even if they didn’t—even if they had to face a future alone, bereft of a lover and a brother—he would not be worth any less to her.  He had not failed them.  It was not his fault.  To convince him of this, however, would be futile now, and for a long time to come.  All she could do for now was to help mend his broken body, and hope she could eventually reach the broken spirit within.

***A/N: We all know Lando Did Nothing Wrong™.  He made the most ethical choices he could on the fly when faced with Imperial subjugation, and went above and beyond to help both The Squad and his own citizens.  The intention of this fic was to cover the time period between their escape from Bespin to the closing scene of the movie where we can see them all recovering and with an obviously repaired bond with Lando.  Leia was meant to have an arc in which she comes to empathetic terms with Lando’s actions and realizes she doesn’t need to “forgive” him, as he really has nothing to apologize for, though he does, because he’s an upstanding and thoughtful guy.  But here, she’s like a wounded animal, raw and furious and hurting, and she’s human.  Leia should be just as vulnerable to her own personal dark side as much as her brother, and I prefer not to shy away from showing that.