#i am dying to have conversations but that is not what it is for

[eleanore-delphinium]

The Voices: 'What if : I'd Follow You'

A/N:

This is not canon to the previous chapter. Same world (I'm still working on) but this is a what if the canon timeline didn't happen.

The sneak peek I shared with

“If anything happened to you– if you die– I cannot continue living on.” It was a statement. His eyes told her he knew this for a fact. As if he had already lived through it. - Damian to Raven

DISCLAIMER: DEATH, suicide

~.~.~.~.~.~

The Voices: 'What if : I'd Follow You'

Raven and Damian have been married for years now. And they were more than happy in each other's arms. Granted, even they have their fair share of difficulties in their relationship.

Damian was happy to be in bed with his wife who laid on his shoulder with her fingers brushing above his beating heart.

Her condition wasn't ideal, but he loved her so dearly.

She glanced up to look at him and feeling her shift against his body he immediately looked down curiously.

He smiled when their eyes met.

"Dami, do you ever think of death?" She asked suddenly and he was taken aback.

His hand that was stroking her elbow stopped as he frowned, "Why are you asking this question?"

She brought her gaze back down, to look at her fingers brushing his sternum, "Just a thought that came to me today."

"Of course I do, it happens." He finally answered her.

"Would you remarry if I die?" She asked back as if asking about his day or the weather.

The question made him hold his breath, if anything, it would have stopped his heart too.

"Why are you saying that?" He asked back, the edge on his voice was undeniable.

Raven had stopped playing with his chest. She did not look up at him. She sighed then repeated her question.

"Would you remarry if I die?"

Her husband held her hand that was already on his chest. He laid her hand flat against his beating heart.

"My heart will stop beating if you die." The answer to the question she seemed to want to know was finally said aloud, in a room that was rather chilly despite being in each other's warm embrace. Despite being fully clothed, under warm thick sheets.

She looked up with a troubled expression, she shook her head. Before she could rebuke verbally, her husband spoke.

"If anything happened to you– if you die– I cannot continue living on." It was a statement. His eyes told her he knew this for a fact. As if he had already lived through it.

She inhaled deeply, "No. I don't want that." She propped her head up a bit with her free hand supporting her weight. As the hand he was already holding shifted in his hold and she squeezed him.

"I want you to remarry." Raven added quietly, even when there were tears in her eyes.

This time it was his turn to lift himself up from the bed. His eyes searching hers. "I will not remarry. I would rather die with you."

He watched his wife's lips quiver at his response and he cupped her face, hoping to calm her. "I can't live without you. I can't continue on. It wouldn't be living, beloved."

"Please, don't say that." Her voice cracked, her tears still gathering in her eyes. "I don't like the thought of you dying."

"I don't like the thought of you dying." He repeated and she pressed her lips.

"But I am not well. It's more likely that I–"

Damian cut her off by pulling her closer to him. "And I can't love anyone else. I can't imagine another woman in my life that isn't you. I love you."

She could see the conversation was upsetting him. She cupped his face with one hand and brushed the corner of his eye.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She said, crawling into his lap and hugging him tight.

He hugged her back and buried his face on her shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Their beating hearts drumming at the same pace, completely in sync.

She pulled away from his embrace, "I want to live a long life with you." She smiled at him. Then leaned her forehead against his, their noses touching.

The couple settled into their bed after their talk and he held her tighter than normal. The talk likely left an impression on him. But knowing she was in his arms calmed him.

As they waited for sleep to take them, they talked about their future together instead of one without the other.

Damian woke up in the middle of the night, not sure when he had fallen asleep amid their conversation. But he could still feel his wife's body pressing against his and it brought a smile on his face.

He wanted to bring her even closer to his face, but when he touched her arm. He felt the chill.

He was instantly awoken from the confusion of just waking up.

It was like there was an alarm in his brain blaring at him.

He sat up bringing her along with him as he glanced down only to see her– his beloved wife–

"No." A shaky breath followed. "No." He brushed her face.

Her blue face. She looked peaceful.

But his heart felt like it was ripped from his chest.

He cradled her. And wept. Muttering for her to wake. Telling her he loves her. Asking her not to leave him.

Damian was a smart man. Smarter than any average man. And he knew, with how cold her body was, that she'd been like that for a while now. He knew that even if he called 911 nothing could be done.

Therefore with what little sense he had, he used the time to talk to her. Ask her. Tell her. Beg her.

He stayed like that, hunched over her body for longer than he'd like to admit. Then something just clicked in his brain.

He lifted his head up and caressed her face. He kissed her cold lips and laid her gently on the bed.

He got up, went to their bathroom and took bottles of medication. Medication that had his wife's name on them.

Damian walked quietly to his bedside table. Placed the medications on top while he opened the drawer, taking out a piece of paper and pen and wrote something down carefully. Once he was done he glanced at his wife.

She looked so peaceful.

He smiled at her.

He placed the pen down, sighed and got his phone out. He typed something and was busy with his phone for a bit. Then placed it on mute. He placed his phone on the table and grabbed the pill bottles.

He looked at his wife again. Then studied the label on her medication.

Maybe it was an allergic reaction to the medication.

He wondered if she knew that she was going to die that evening. Was that why she was asking those questions?

Those painful questions?

But how could she know?

Those things didn't matter. He already told her what he knew to be true.

"I will be with you, my beloved wife." He whispered, opening the bottles and downed every pill inside with no water.

He then settled in bed and brushed her face. He wanted to hold her and he thought about it for a while.

He knew he couldn't sleep if she wasn't in his arms.

With that thought, he carefully gathered her into his arms again. She was still flexible which made him relax as he settled onto the bed and closed his eyes. His thumb caressed her lower back as he always does when they go to sleep.

On the piece of paper he left behind he wrote: Please bury me with her.

Damian's breathing started to shallow down.

He had also left timed text messages to his family.

The first one to call 911. Then the next messages were delayed by a few minutes.

He had one for his father telling him to continue the research under Raven's name and that whatever money he was entitled to would be used as funds for it. He thanked his father and apologized.

He sent one to his eldest brother, though he was an annoying brother, he told the man he'd appreciate it if he could oversee the projects he has, especially the research that was supposed to be for his wife.

He left messages for his other brothers too. Tim was specifically told about his will. The message for Jason seemed to be aimed to piss him off, but there was clear affection between the lines.

And he even sent one for Alfred, giving him a brief summary of what he told his family. He also thanked the older man and emphasized how grateful he was for welcoming his wife despite her condition.

Damian was content. He has made sure that everything was settled.

When the rigor mortis is completed in both their bodies, they would have long been discovered by his family. Raven would not be stuck in this position. Though he wouldn't mind if they were buried like this too.

Either way, knowing that her body would unlikely completely stiffen before they were discovered was what made him finally decide to hold her in his dying moment.

"Just a little bit more…" He mumbled.

It was good they didn't have children. It made this choice easier.

When the text messages arrived to their respective recipients it was too late. People rushed to Damian's mansion, checked every room. Bruce and Dick had checked the bedroom and–

Damian laid there with a smile on his lips and his beloved in his arms. They both looked to be at peace.

FIN.

[ikea09]

"Come on, grandfather !" An 8 year old Telemachus cried as he ran up the road to laertes's hut.

He stopped and waved impatiently for the dawdling old man.

Surely he could go faster than this ?

"I'm coming, boy, slow down" laertes yelled.

Suddenly, the man collapsed.

Telemachus ran down to his side as fast as possible.

Laertes lay on his side.

Telemachus shook him, desperately hoping he was ok.

"Telemachus....." the old man wheezed at last, getting up on his knees.

"Yes?"

"Am I a good actor?" Laertes smiled.

Telemachus mouth hung wide and he pushed laertes's shoulders.

"That was cruel grandfather, you really scared me"

"Ok ok I'm sorry child. I won't do it again"

He patted telemachus cheek.

"Help me up and we'll walk together, hm"

Telemachus huffed, then got up, lended laertes a hand and yanked him up.

He gripped his hand all the way to the orchard outside the hut.

"The apples are ripe, shall we pick some then ? We'll make a nice pie~." laertes asked.

Telemachus nodded.

Laertes went off to fetch the ladders. Telemachus ran inside to grab the baskets.

The picking was easy and the apples looked amazingly juicy. They had managed to collect 3 baskets of them and Laertes chose 5 for their pie. The rest he stored away.

The baking was fun though it ended with both of them being covered in flour.

They sat at laertes table and he cut a slice for each of them. Taking a spoon, he carved off a chunk of telemachus' slice and fed him it, with a hand beneath his chin.

"It makes it taste better" he whispered.

Telemachus happily accepted.

Laertes took and fed him another chunk but found he couldn't take the spoon out of telemachus's mouth. The boy was holding the spoon fast between his teeth.

He chuckled.

"This is revenge, isn’t it" laertes sighed.

The boy only smiled. He looked positively dopey with the spoon hanging out of his mouth, Laertes thought.

Laertes pulled on the spoon a little harder and telemachus had to let it go.

"Aww , I really thought I could hold it" Telemachus whined

"Tsk. Tsk. The adult wins again." Laertes smiled cheekily as he tapped telemachus's head with the spoon.

12 years later...

It had been 2 days since the suitor slaughter.

Telemachus had been dying to talk to his grandfather ever since eumaus told him of how laertes had taken his disappearance.

"For many years, poor man, heartsick for his son, he'd always keep an eye on the farm and take his meals with the hired hands whenever he felt the urge to. Now, from the day you sailed to pylos, not a sip or a bite he's touched, they say, not as he did before, and his eyes are shut to all the farmyard labours. Huddled over, groaning in grief and tears, he wasted away- the man's all skin and bones"

Telemachus's heart broke to hear that but he had more important things to focus on.

He only told eumaus to send a slave girl to tell laertes of his arrival. He and odysseus had visited yesterday but he and laertes couldn't have a full conversation since the suitor's families arrived, looking for revenge. Afterwards, odysseus and telemachus had gone home.

So on he walked to laertes's hut.

He found the old man sitting slumped outside his house on a bench.

He kneeled in front of him and gently shook his shoulder.

"Grandfather? It's me, telemachus."

Laertes looked up at him.

"Telemachus?"

"Yes"

Laertes lifted his hand toward telemachus's face

and pinched his cheek, hard.

"AH!"

Laertes finally let go and Telemachus rubbed his cheek

"What was that fo-"

"HOW COULD YOU BOY? how could you leave us like that, scaring us all half to death? You could've drowned or been assassinated and , and-"

Telemachus could only look down in shame, rubbing his bruising cheek, his eyes becoming watery.

A hand clutched the back of his head and tucked his face into Laertes's shoulder.

"And i'm so glad your safe... " he whispered shakily.

Telemachus wrapped his arms around his grandfather. He felt his tears land on his head as laertes kissed his hair.

"I'm sorry grandfather.."

"Shh sh, don't apologise. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper"

Telemachus eyed the apples in the orchard.

"Well, you could make it up to me with a pie."

"..alright, child"

Picking the apples and baking the pie went by quickly.

Laertes cut a slice, took a spoon and carved off a chunk.

He lifted it to telemachus's face and...

hesitated.

Telemachus was an adult, 20 years old. He had killed people. He couldn't treat him like a child.

And that hurt. It hurt to know the sweet, little boy he fed pie wasn't there anymore. He sighed. He would just have to get over it. He lowered his spoon and looked away.

Telemachus noticed and smiled

before opening his mouth, giving Laertes this last little mercy. He always was his grandfather's sweet boy.

And he always would be.

Laertes chuckled, slipping the spoon into telemachus's mouth.

Only to find he couldn't take it out.

Telemachus had bitten down on it and now held it between his teeth. He had that dopey, foolish grin again. Laertes tried to pull it out but telemachus's strength had grown in the last 12 years and he held on. Laertes tried again in their little tug-of- war but telemachus just jerked his head aside

and sent the poor man flying to the floor. He looked on, startled.

Laertes grabbed the table edge and hauled himself up. Telemachus finally conceded the spoon before Laertes got thrown again.

Laertes smiled and , for the sake of completion, tapped telemachus's head with the spoon.

At that, telemachus pouted and gave laertes big, watery eyes.

"Grandfather, why do you abuse me so? First you bruise my cheek with your cruel pinch and now you strike my head? What have I done wrong?"

"Your just trying to guilt me into giving you a second slice, aren't you."

"Is it working?"

"...yes"

[darthvaporwave]

old man yells at cloud but i do actually hate texting as a means of connecting to people because it’s not good for long involved conversations; the whole setup is just for bytes of information you’re both just half paying attention to

[unlikablefemaleprotagonist]

i don't really want to get too logical about it, but perhaps another "above the table" reason for this battle not being centered around getting redemption for the ratgrinders is because this is a show meant for public consumption and "persuade your enemies to desert their cause and join you" was literally the trick of the final combat for the last intrepid heroes season. maybe there was an implicit understanding among the cast that the same gimmick would be perceived by some as being repetitive

and honestly?? i think the neverafter team had a helluva lot better shot converting the princesses to their side than any of the bad kids had in this battle. key members of the squad (okay, not tim, rip his conversation with rapunzel) made inroads with the princesses through good faith interaction with many of them earlier in the season. elodie and mira were the easiest gets because of elodie's history with gerard and mira's lack of true devotion to the cause, but ylfa had a genuine SHOT with la bete and pinocchio got very close with cinderella (who i think may have come over anyway once her allies were down, if i remember right?)

but there isn't a single ratgrinder they have that kind of relationship with. they've been pretty out-and-out hostile, despite moments such as adaine saving ruben from disintegrate and kristen offering maryanne gifts. maaaaybe you could make an argument for ruben and wanda, but brennan pointed out that once wanda showed up with his enemies and ATTACKED ruben's friends, it was over. oisin seemed like a potential option earlier in the season, but then he pulled the rug out from under adaine and tried to murder the entire student body via nepotism. there was no friendly relationship left to capitalize on after that. and maryanne has been characterized as having such an impenetrable mental wall that it's hard to guess where's she's at, even for the other ratgrinders.

plus, there's the whole basic conceit that the ratgrinders' minds are not completely their own. their agency has been traded away to a nameless god of rage. who's to say any persuasion check could overcome that? honestly, i think if it was a realistic play, brennan would have encouraged the players to try it, like he explicitly did for neverafter, laying out a mechanic for it. maybe we'd know more if kristen hadn't gotten a nat 1 on her buddy insight check, but i think that was the moment that any diplomatic level to this combat went out the window, because the dice dictated that kristen couldn't see buddy in there, and to willfully push ahead with that line of thinking would have been close to meta-gaming. they are playing characters as faithfully as possible, and those characters are stressed-out kids! they don't have the same emotional maturity of a 32-year-old divorced frog prince who really wants to be amicable with his ex-wife

[strangewiggles]

You were spilling all my will out I was bleeding my last brains It's nothing like the nothingness That normally numbs one's pain

Goodbye, oh goodbye

some closeups for you

[songofsaraneth]

'i've been feeling kind of disconnected lately' says area blogger who has spent 8 months increasingly self isolating

[aromanticasterisms]

my god lingsha's design is so ass. my god

[mbat]

wait so where did this anti and proship shit even come from lol

like its yet another form of nuanceless "us vs them'ing"... its honestly immature and i feel like it really shuts down actual diacussions that could be had, but instead we just label ourselves and others and ignore and hate on those who are on the "other side"

not to mention how frankly beyond obsessed weve become as a culture with whether people are morally good or bad/if people are good or bad people (which imo feels like a deeply christian thing to worry about but thats a different topic for another day)

i think its just healthy that we as people spot when were doing things like making meaningless dichotomies that do nothing but separate us, and instead try and think of the nuance of the situation, or at the very least smudge the line drawn in the middle. to create an "other" is not only to hurt those you deem as other, but to begin to hurt those you deem as the "us", and especially the one you deem as yourself.

[mycenaae]

eddie i love you. eddie i know you are doing your best 99.9% of the time and you are trying so hard to hold everything together. eddie you have to stop handing hard conversations with your child off to your best friend (who loves christopher but is not his dad with all the baggage that carries with it!) because you're afraid you'll make things worse if you talk to him. eddie you have to learn how to work through these things together with christopher! for both your sakes! eddie i am so worried for you!

[clits-and-clips]

x

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[harrowharkwife]

x

[zestyderg]

Hey so uh... do Ryden just physically speak or do they have telepathy. What is even the extent of their ability to converse with humans?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Thinking about the narrative pipeline between the opening salvo inciting incident from the first verse of You’re Losing Me:

Do I throw out everything we built or keep it? I'm getting tired even for a phoenix Always risin' from the ashes Mendin' all her gashes You might just have dealt the final blow

To what is arguably the crescendo of the bridge of:

And I wouldn't marry me either A pathological people pleaser Who only wanted you to see her

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Important life lesson I've learned recently: Never fall in love with an anarchist.

[apathyfairy]

christmas is officially over which means i have 364 days to get a life and get too busy to go to family christmas or come up with a really good excuse to never see these people again