#i am having extreme emotions about this movie right now.

[soullessjack]

watching frozen w my little brother and like it is actually really fucked up now that im older. like imagine ur like some nine year old girl with cool ice powers that your little sister loves to see and you’re playing with her and suddenly you accidentally hurt you so then your parents take you out to a bunch of trolls that remove all your sister’s memories of you having powers or hurting her and then give you, a nine year old who’s extremely traumatized in the current moment, a prophecy about how you’ll become stronger and the world will turn against you completely if you can’t gain control . so your parents decide to completely lock you and your sister up in the castle during your formative years without any outside contact for years and you’re not only taught but encouraged to be emotionally repressed and distant so you don’t hurt anyone after what you did to your sister. and then your parents. your source of guidance and self control. fucking drown overseas, and you can’t even support your sister in her grieving because of what they taught you and she has to grieve alone because, again, she doesn’t even remember because her memories were tampered with as a child so she doesn’t even understand why you’re closed off to her or that it’s for her presumed safety. now because of the years of isolation your parents put you through she’s an emotionally socially stunted incredibly naive 18yo princess and you’re an equally emotionally stunted 23yo queen and neither of you even know what a party looks like because you both grew up in so much isolation and your sister is so resentful of you for shutting her out and you know you deserve it but it still hurts and you still can’t even tell her why so you just have to keep hurting her and hating yourself for it

[homoquartz]

this post is not gonna be well put together but i am having feelings

mean girls is trending right now because the musical movie just came out and i feel insane. idk why i do, it was stupid of me to think that most people Got It, no one ever gets it, it was always about the memes and the aesthetic.

the first mean girls movie was based on a nonfiction book called queen bees and wannabes. it interviewed and discussed the social hierarchy system in teen girl friendships. how they hold each other to these insane standards of heternormative femininity out of sheer terror that they won't meet those standards themselves. the way they leverage their relationships for some small degree of power in a world designed to strip them of it, even if it drags other girls down.

the "you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week and on wednesdays we wear pink" speech was not an original creation for the script. it's a QUOTE from a real teenage girl. those were REAL RULES.

then the musical came, and it was one step removed from the intended messaging of the film. OG mean girls was not perfect (and was extremely racist), but it said what needed said. the musical leaned on the comedy more, but still left a heartfelt undertone, and still critiqued the systems in place. of course no piece of media is going to be perfect, but it was about the conversation.

then this new movie comes out and it is washed over in the veneer of white hollywood feminism so thick you can't see anymore. the problematic aspects of the original movie are taken out to avoid "offending" when the offense was the point. it becomes toothless, it becomes some other thing entirely. they changed karen's line "i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in" to "watch me as i run the world in shoes i cannot walk in." because choice feminism is in vogue, suddenly this character whose entire point is that she doesn't think deeply about WHY she does anything is suddenly hip to the fact that the world is against her.

i think of sokka losing his misogyny arc in the new atla. i think of the Heathers remake casting the bitchy, identical heathers as queer and hollywood-fat outcasts. as if the story, the meaning, the allegory is hidden in the sets and the jokes and the music. it's a whole new thing now, and it's a thing that means nothing in particular.

the plastics should not wear jeans. they should not have curves. their queerness should be suppressed, painful. their sexuality is not a slay, it's the only thing they think they have of value. the santa dance isn't sexy, it's shocking, it's mortifying - they are children.

they're not mean because "we are all mean." they are mean because they are girls in a world that brutalizes them and crushes them into a standardized shape. they are mean because the world is mean to them. they are mean because it gives them some power back. they are mean because it's the only weapon they have.

the landscape of femininity today has shifted to camera-ready makeup at the age of 10, stringent performative hygiene standards, and avoiding being caught on film while having a genuine emotion. the consumerism, the fatphobia, the racism, the classism, the homophobia remain. We could have had a conversation about that.

[ode2rin]

new boyfriend rin would never ever, under any circumstance, admit that he likes the pet names you call him. well… unless you would stop doing it. (also me pushing the bffs to lovers pipeline)

You must be upset with him, Rin is convinced so. It’s the only logical and sensible explanation behind this unusual behavior. 

And he's going mad about it. Itoshi Rin is going mad any second now if he can't get to the bottom of this, he’s certainly convinced.

Every instinct screamed that your recent behavior was a reaction to something he'd done, but what? Was it the late replies to your text messages? No, you knew he was at practice and you told him you didn’t mind. Was it about the souvenir he brought back home to you from Paris? Sure, you teased him about its impracticality, but nothing that warranted this icy distance.

Or maybe it was something he said now? It must be, right? Everything boils down to his reckless poor choice of words, he supposes.

Slowly, Rin approached you by the couch you’re seated in. With your attention preoccupied by the selection of shows you’re browsing, you settled on looking at him briefly through your peripheral vision. Amused by how he’s slightly tiptoeing around, you let out a half-suppressed laugh to yourself. 

He looks like a cat sometimes, you thought from the sight. And acts like one too. Like a big black cat who would hiss at you if you looked at him funny, or one that would bite your hand if you stopped petting him to sleep. Funny how Rin could be like that too.

The moment Rin settles into the plush comfort of the couch, he gazes at you through lowered lashes, trying to read the play of emotions on your face, if there’s any. 

There’s nothing worth noting, and he doesn’t know if that should assure or bother him.

“Are we… alright?” he drawled.

What the fuck. He did not just sound like that. 

He did not just ask that and sounded like an anxious pathetic wet cat who just had a new home waiting for its owner’s permission over anything (highly specific because he’s a bit dramatic). Just what kind of loser have you reduced him into, really.

Oblivious of the internal turmoil in Rin’s mind, you turn to him, “Hmm? Yeah? Why’d you ask?”

“Nothing,” he grumbled. It’s enough that he already humiliated himself for the way he asked if the two of you were cool— doing it again by exposing himself that he thinks you’re mad plainly because he hadn’t heard you call him a pet name (like you always do) would be mortification in its final form.

“Okay, Rin.”

That’s it. This needs to end. Forget humiliation. He would rather choose to feel pathetic over any day than continue with this charade.

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Why would you think that?” you asked back instantly, shocked and extremely confused because of your boyfriend’s question. You’re literally just looking for a movie the two of you can watch— how is that any indication of being mad at him?

“Just answer the question,” he fumed, impatience settling on the furrow of his brows.

You said in the beginning of your relationship that you didn’t appreciate the silent treatment and guessing games, so don’t you think it’s hypocritical of you to do the same to him? (You’re not, but he just doesn’t know that.)

“I’m not mad at you, Rin.”

“You so are!” 

“I am not! But you, yelling and instigating it are making me right now!” you countered, voice hinted with irritation, “What is your problem, Rin?”

There it is again. Rin rose from the couch to face your sitting form, as if standing would better prove his point. “See? You’re calling me Rin!” he blurted.

“Well, maybe because it’s your name?!”

“Not to you, it’s not!”

A beat of surprised silence. Until your lips grew to such a wide smile that made Rin physically feel his heart melting. 

Yet, in Rin’s true fashion, he’ll never let you know how much air you knock out of him because of your beaming smile. Instead, he’ll say something along the snarky lines of, “Stop smiling like that.”

“Did my big bad grumpy Rinnie here thought we’re on a fight because I hadn’t call him baby?” you ask, purposely stressing out the words to disarm him more.

With a feigned exasperation, he comments, “I forgot how annoying you are.” 

“And I forgot how childish you can get sometimes,” you countered.

“I’m not childish.”

“You don’t mind me calling you Rin then?”

Rin rolled his eyes at you, but you know better than to put meaning to it. He lowered himself onto the couch beside you. With a swift tug, Rin pulled you closer, closing the distance between you effortlessly. His arm found its way around your waist, drawing you snugly against his chest.

“But I don’t see why you need to…” Maybe he could be a bit childish.

“I thought you didn’t like it,” you shyly muttered, drawing shapes in his arm. “The pet names, I mean,” you clarified, sensing the confused look he’s probably giving you behind.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He is baby. He is Rinnie. Fucking hell, that’s so loser of him to even voice it out in his own mind. 

“What? You call me by my name!” you defensively pointed out.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like your nicknames of me,” he mumbled, the words barely audible.

The pet names— they were more than what they served. It was important to him more than what he would admit. 

They were a secret language, a way you marked him as yours. A reminder that he wasn't just Rin anymore— just your friend.

He was now something more, something special.

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Besides… I love your name,” he whispered, his voice velvet against your hair.

It’s tender— no, it makes him tender. Saying your name has been the softest, kindest, and most tender way he’s used his words for. 

Maybe it’s a little pathetic, feeling this undone by a name. But then it’s you. 

It was your name— a name he could whisper with adoration, a name that belonged only to him to claim. 

You melt to his words, leaning deeper into his chest. A contented sigh escaped your lips, the sound swallowed by the warmth of his embrace.

Looking up at him, your eyes held a softness he often found himself getting lost in, “I love your name too, but I also like calling you pet names. Is it okay?”

“Whatever you decide.” He’s yours, either way.

note. this is basically rin being "my nameeee is whatever you decideeeee and i'm just gonna call you mineeee i'm insane but i'm your baby!!!!" yeah that song basically.

[savagegood]

@shinjiroatae1126: To all my fans, today was a very special day for me. For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself...But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man. It has taken me a long time to be able to say I am gay. I could not even say it to myself. However, I’ve come to realize it is better, both for me, and for the people I care about, including my fans, to live life authentically than to live a life never accepting who I truly am. I hope people who are struggling with the same feeling will find courage and know they are not alone.

ps, he’s released a new song, “into the light”, which you can watch here. part of the proceeds from the single will go to lgbtq+ organisations

@shinjiroatae1126: July 26th, 2023 was a big day for me. I finally gathered the courage to come out to the public as a gay man. I am grateful to have received media coverage from multiple platforms both within Japan and overseas.

To be honest, I was extremely anxious before all of this happened. However, I've been pleasantly surprised to discover the overwhelming amount of positive feedback pouring in from both my fans and people who have come across the news about me. It's heartwarming to see that my story is being acknowledged from all around the world, and this brings me immense joy. Although they may be baby steps, I sense that this world is gradually moving into the light. Yesterday, I made an announcement about resuming my career as an artist. I also released a new song titled “Into The Light”. The music video for the song is also on YouTube now. This song is packed with the emotions and thoughts leading up to this point, including my decision to come out. Living with anxieties and struggles is not limited to just LGBTQ+ individuals. I hope this song can be a source of encouragement for anyone carrying such emotions. I've aimed for it to become a song that can uplift those with similar feelings. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Pride House Tokyo, Japan’s first permanent LGBTQ+ center, and ReBit, an organization providing resources and support for LGBTQ+ youth. I hope this song will touch many hearts.🙏🌈

At first, there was total silence. Then, there were shrieks, wild applause, weeping and shouts of “I love you!”

Fans of Shinjiro Atae, a J-pop idol who has been on a nearly two-year performance hiatus, had come to hear him talk about “the challenge of my life.” Standing onstage in a dark auditorium in front of 2,000 fans in central Tokyo on Wednesday night, he revealed something he has kept hidden for most of his life: He is gay.

“I respect you and believe you deserve to hear this directly from me,” he said, reading from a letter he had prepared. “For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself. But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man.”

Such an announcement is extremely unusual in conservative Japan, the only G7 country that has not legalized same-sex unions. Earlier this summer, the Japanese Parliament passed an L.G.B.T.Q rights bill but it had been watered down by the political right, stating that there “should be no unfair discrimination” against gay and transgender people.

In making a public declaration, the 34-year-old Mr. Atae, who spent two decades performing with AAA, a hit Japanese pop group, before embarking on a solo career, said he wanted his fans to know his true self. He also hopes to comfort those who might be grappling with anxieties about their sexuality.

“I don’t want people to struggle like me,” he said.

AAA debuted in 2005, with Mr. Atae, the youngest member, forgoing high school. He performed mostly as a dancer, and began appearing in TV series and movies.

His sexuality perplexed him. “It was a time when on TV, comedians would say two men kissing was gross,” he said. If anyone asked if he had a girlfriend, he just said he was too busy working.

Activists said they could not recall an instance when a Japanese pop star of his stature had publicly declared they were gay, because of anxieties about losing fans or sponsors.

“I think he has decided to come out in order to change Japan,” said Gon Matsunaka, a director and adviser to Pride House Tokyo, a support center for the gay and transgender community.

The decision to open up about his sexuality, he said, evolved over seven years of living in Los Angeles, where he saw how freely gay couples could show affection in public and built an extensive support network.

“Everyone was so open,” he said. “People would talk about their vulnerabilities. In Japan, people think it’s best not to talk about those things.”

Mr. Atae’s decision, he said, was not political.  All he wanted, he said, was to “normalize” being gay. Coming out, he knew, would likely draw criticism. “Whatever you do, there will be haters,” he said. “I can only focus on the people I might be helping.”

[gatorbites-imagines]

Thank you so much for writing for Invincible!!!!!! There's hardly anything especially with a male reader

So like yandere Mark, am i right? If he were to be yandere i could totally imagine him using his powers to intimidate his lover and get rid of anyone who he doesn't like and he would act like it's your fault if you're sad when he kills someone, he got it from his dad

Mark Grayson Yandere Alphabet

I found this yandere alphabet, so I decided to fill it out for Mark :3c This is post season 2 mark, or something around that, which is why Mark is different to what Nolan would be like. Let me know if you guys wanna see more alphabets like this.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

I think after everything that’s happened, Mark would be a very clingy guy. He would hug, hold, and kiss his darling any chance he gets. It can get pretty intense, like, mark holding you so hard bones would break if you try to wiggle free or if he’s feeling extra emotional, be it positive of negative. In the beginning hed be too shy to kiss you, but when he crosses that bridge, he never stops.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

After everything with his dad and with Angstrom, it would be much easier for Mark to get violent and bloody, especially if he thinks someone is trying to harm you, in his opinion. And to him, anybody trying to rescue you from him is a threat.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I don’t see Mark as someone who would mock his darling. Instead, he would try to pamper you and make you love him back, to make you accept that this is your new life now and its for the best. He would be overly affectionate, to the point where its extremely overbearing. His horrible self-worth also makes you seek a lot of validation. So, all in all, he’s very draining to be around.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Mark would hug you, cuddle you and kiss you against your will. Hed go as far as to force you to take care of yourself if you don’t, either by him doing it for you, or watching you like a hawk as you do it. hed never force himself on his darling though, since he still sees himself as a hero.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He would expose his heart to you from the very beginning, since he feels so guilty about kidnapping you. Mark would just word-vomit everything he feels and how this is what he needs to do, because he loves you so much and can’t lose you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Mark would be so sad, but he understands why his darling fights back in the beginning, at least some part of him does. But he would grow frustrated if they kept fighting back for a longer period of time, since he thinks hes doing the right thing. Why cant his darling just SEE that?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Its in no way a game for Mark, this is almost life and death for him. He hates seeing you trying to escape too, since he knows its just proof that you don’t love him back or understand his version of the truth.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Probably the fact that there is a high possibility that Mark has killed his darling’s family and loved ones, since if he killed them, there’s no reason for you to leave right? You have no one else, just him, and that’s all you need. Hes also broken many bones, sometimes without meaning too, and sometimes on purpose.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He fantasizes about an almost movie like future, with a happy spouse who loves him back just as much as he loves them, where you’ll greet him at the door and embrace him so happy he’s home. It wouldn’t be too out of this world for Mark to imagine his darling as still living in solitude in what he deemed the safest place.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Mark gets so jealous, since his mental state is already very broken. The very thought of his darling loving someone else or wanting to leave him for someone else? Its almost enough to get him spiraling, and it either leads to him having a horrible breakdown, or growing extra violent when he fights crime.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Disgustingly doting and clingy. Hes always right behind you or touching you in some way. He absolutely craves your attention and validation, and will have a panic attack if you ignore him. But he also uses a lot of guilt tripping when he isn’t getting his way, or his darling it acting out.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

I imagine your relationship was actually pretty normal in the beginning, with you replacing Amber. As normal as a relationship dating a superhero is at least. So mark was kind of clumsy but so sweet and genuine. But then everything with angstrom happened, and he just kinda breaks.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes. Mark acts cooler and a lot more down to earth around people, suppressing the worse parts of himself. He wants to come across as a hero that everyone can look up too, which also means very few people know of your existence after you disappear.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Mark doesn’t like to hurt his darling physically, but he isn’t above breaking bones. He will sob the entire time though, crying and yelling at you that this is your fault and hes only doing it because you gave him no other choice. But he prefers emotional punishment instead, like isolating you for long periods of time.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

He would try to keep as many rights for his darling as possible, not wanting to damage their way of life too much. But you would have no connection to the outside world, and you defiantly wouldn’t be able to leave wherever he keeps you. If you act up too much though, then he would have to start taking privileges away, and chaining you to the bed can also be one of those privileges.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He tries to be patient. Mark knows it’s a big change for you, so of course you’re gonna act out and you’re gonna scream at him and try to fight back. But it also wears on him, making his frayed edges get worse, until he just can’t take it anymore and breaks down, which only adds onto all the guilt he’s been piling on you.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No way. If his darling dies, then Mark would spiral completely out of control. He would either isolate himself completely, or snap to the point where nolans acts look like a field trip. This depends on if his darling’s death was caused by someone else though. If you leave or escape, you bet your ass Mark is coming for you again. And the GDA would most likely help him, since they know the easiest way to control Mark is to let him keep you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Mark would feel incredibly guilty and selfish for kidnapping you, but since he thinks it’s the right thing to do, then he would learn to cope with it. There is a chance you can get him to leave you go though, if you catch him at the right time when he’s most vulnerable, and if he thinks you truly love him in return. But this would be rare, and him coming back for you would be very likely.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

All the loss and chaos he’s experienced since gaining his powers. The stuff Mark has experienced is enough to break the strongest of men, and with his mental state already being so fractured, the thought of losing you would be the last push he needed.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Mark would feel so horrible about seeing his darling cry or scream, since he already feels guilty about kidnapping you. This is also why it would take him months or even longer to tell you he killed your entire family and all your loved ones, since he doesn’t want to see you cry more.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Theres so many flavours of yandere, that Marks acts would fit some type of yandere, so probably not. Maybe the fact that there is a small chance he would willingly let his darling go? Or the fact that he resorts to using his own guilt and tears to manipulate you.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Honestly just play along with his delusions, that yes Mark, this was the right idea and the world id dangerous. You love him too, and of course you’ll hold him and tell him he’s doing the right thing and being such a good hero. It wouldn’t be too hard to twist him around your finger, since he’s so starved for you and your attention. Escape would be pretty fucking hard though, since even the GDA wouldn’t help you.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Most of Mark hurting you would be accidental, if hes under a lot of stress or very wound up. But it isn’t above him to hurt you on purpose if he thinks there’s no other choice, like you trying to escape too much, or trying to attack him.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Mark would worship the very ground you walked on and would see you as the center of his universe. This is also why the GDA wouldn’t do anything, since Mark sees you as his everything, and you are human and live on earth, then he wouldn’t turn against humanity. Mark would also bend over backwards to gain his darlings affection, whatever it takes, as long as it isn’t letting you free or anything like that.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

If you replaced Amber, then you two would have been dating for a while before he snaps, so he would have pined for around that time.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

I don’t think he would do it on purpose, but it would come as a byproduct of his darling being isolated for so long that they just kinda break on their own. Or might be more his darling being slowly shaped into the same kind of stuff that Mark is made out of than outright breaking, since Mark still loves you for who you are. This is where he’s different from his dad.

[thevirgodoll]

Doll Diaries: 10 Ways to Begin Living the Doll Life.

To introduce my brand and my mission, I have created the first guide on how to Live the Doll Life.

This is the first of many posts to build around what a Doll means.

This is a compilation of all of my advice from past posts, my values and things I recommend aspiring to. It's an initiation of some sorts, and will be a sneak peek to what my website and Patreon will entail. This covers who you want to be (your ideal self), who you are right now (your current self), your measure of confidence and value (your worth), and your reality of who you are (your traits and individuality).

Welcome to the Dollhouse!!!

A huge part of what made me choose "Doll" as a brand is the movie, Life Size (2000).

In Life Size, Eve stood up for what was right, was ambitious, and learned how to honor her feelings as a real person. I highly recommend giving it a watch (I haven't seen the second movie, only referencing the first) to really get a feel of the energy I want to cultivate and embody. Now, let's get into it!

1. Embrace everything you already are.

Just because you are in a pursuit of becoming someone new does not mean you have to discard the things that make you who you are. Embracing who you already are and who you were is key to building self confidence. Who you are now is worthy of love and gratitude.

Ask yourself:

What can I forgive myself for?

What are my current strengths and weaknesses?

How can I show myself gratitude today?

2. Love people and speak life into them.

A true Doll does not engage in taking other women down. The biggest issue in today's world is that negativity has become a hot commodity. It is so insidious once it gets started, and it has been normalized to tear other people down in shady, subtle comments. These things bear no fruit. Understand now that talking badly about people and hating them only increases their sun.

What makes the difference between a Doll and another person is that everything she says has a purpose. Before speaking ask yourself:

Is this necessary? Is this true?

What do I gain from saying this?

Would I want to hear this?

These questions will make you distinguish between feelings and facts. You may not even know why you don't like someone at first, but asking yourself critical questions will teach you to see things from a different perspective. Most of the time, this has taught me to keep certain things to myself! If you don't know what you feel yet, the best thing to do is be quiet. It really is true that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. ***There are obviously exceptions to the rule, such as emotional abuse, bullying, etc. Defend yourself. Just don't be the one to be a catalyst to someone's downfall.

3. Be a student of life.

In this Dollhouse, we are eager to learn!!! If you want to lead others, you have to be willing to admit that you can be wrong. Even though Dolls are well adored and well educated, we aren't always right. Well, a lot of the time I am, but that's not the point!

Ask yourself:

What is this trying to teach me? What can I take away from this?

When was the last time I opened my mind to something new?

What could I have done differently? If I am resistant to feedback or change in this present moment, why?

4. Take pride in your appearance.

We aren't perfect...but we might as well be the closest thing to it. Make the decision now that you want to look your best every day. This doesn't mean wearing a full face of makeup 24/7, but this does mean being put together. A Doll should never leave the house without looking presentable, and if this is difficult, it's time for a change! Remember in The Princess Diaries when Mia got a makeover to become a princess? She looked like a completely different person and all it took was a new routine in beauty maintenance.

Obviously, you don't have to go to the extremes like she did. There's nothing wrong with glasses, thick curly hair, or thick eyebrows. It's all about making those things cohesive, which is the point of the makeover. I suggest you go on Pinterest or other platforms to find inspiration for what you want to look like. Create a routine around looking your best for YOU...only you know what flatters you the most.

Ask yourself:

What do I feel when I look in the mirror?

What influences me? What does a Doll look like to me?

What would a physical change do for me right now? And why am I doing it?

5. Have people in your life that align with you.

Friends can inspire us, or derail us. It is extremely hard as you get older to sustain friendships because once you leave grade school, there aren't any commonalities keeping you around people you know. Sometimes, we hang onto people longer than we need to.

A verse from the Bible that I often keep in mind regarding friends is Proverbs 12:26:

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Ask yourself:

Would I take advice from this person? Why or why not?

What are the pros and cons of having this person around? How do I feel after hanging out with them?

What do they do for me? Is this reciprocal or transactional?

Is this person bringing me closer to or further away from my dreams, goals, and aspirations? Do they value what I value?

During conflict, how has this friend treated me? Do I trust them? Can I go to them when I need them?

As far as relationships, that is different for everyone but the questions are relatively the same. Some people stop their entire journey towards becoming the woman of their dreams because of love. Guard your heart!!!

Ask yourself:

Does this person align with my beliefs and values? Have I vetted them to see what type of person they are?

How does this person take care of themselves spiritually, mentally, and physically?

What is their story? Is this person aware of that story (whether it's with family, exes, friends, etc.)?

What can they offer me that I cannot give to myself?

Why do I want to be with this person?

6. Truly begin to believe you ARE 1 of 1.

Everyone is different, especially you. Your energy is highly sought after, all you have to do is acknowledge that. In order to live this lifestyle, you gotta appreciate differences in people around you so you can avoid guilting yourself into assimilation/conformity.

Individuality is everything... don't trade that for the approval of others. Social media has revealed how much originality women lack... so be a breath of fresh air. Think of this as Miley Stewart becoming her alter ego, Hannah Montana. The best way to see the new you is a alter ego. Celebrities have used alter egos to embody a side of them that is full of tenacity and candor...basically what they wish they could be. Real life examples are: Sasha Fierce (Beyoncé), Roman (Nicki Minaj).

The arc of an alter ego comes full circle. At some point in the Hannah Montana franchise, Miley came to terms that she lacked nothing in being who she really was because the star power was already in her. Therefore, she let her go and embodied those qualities in herself as "Miley". After hard work it will be the same for you, and you will appreciate who you are even more and not have to separate the two.

Ask yourself:

Who am I? What makes me special?

What do I love most about myself?

What is my signature and aesthetic?

What are the qualities of my alter ego/archetype?

7. Be a woman of substance.

It's useless to work towards being an it girl if you have nothing to talk about. So many women have star quality on the outside, but they are surface level and it prevents them from being seen positively and it takes away their chance of being an it girl.

Learn about current events. Learn about past events. Learn about events that are yet to come, and form an opinion.

You have Google at your disposal, so there's really no excuse to be lazy. Find your passion...most people are empty because they don't do anything they love. Be well versed in multiple topics. I know we say beauty and brains, but it really is hard to come by these days. Most people do not read anymore, nor do they take the time out to learn things themselves.

When it comes to school, that counts as substance as well if you're actually taking classes you're getting something out of (which is a whole other post). I would be remiss if I did not mention that education isn't for everyone. But for those of you that are going to college or are in college like me, this is one of the most important stages of your life. You're on the cusp of greatness. Life happens, but no matter what, we gotta get that degree no matter how long it takes.

Ask yourself:

What's going on in the world right now?

When is the last time I read a book or did something educational?

What are my hobbies? What are my habits? How do these things speak to my intelligence and who I am?

What are the things I want out of my education and what are my goals for this upcoming semester?

8. Dedicate time to your healing.

Just because everything looks perfect, doesn’t mean it will always be that way. This journey towards being that girl will not get rid of your need to heal.

Healing is a rugged path that one must travel their entire life...your journey in becoming the person of your dreams never ends. Give yourself grace on things that you didn't know before.

As always, I recommend journaling to understand your thought process. Sometimes, I look back at my entries in my diary and realize that things weren't as bad as they seemed. Sometimes, though, they were...and for my healing process it became crucial to (when I have the capacity) revisit the moments that shaped my perspective.

I know everyone says this, but there no shame in getting help. No amount of Doll Diaries I give you or confidence lessons/advice from others will matter if you are ignoring what fills your heart with dread at night. Like Megan thee Stallion says, bad b*tches have bad days too.

I am in therapy and I take medications for my mental illnesses, and that made all the difference. Tips are in my mental health tag.

I recommend a spiritual routine that works for you. This may include meditating, praying, going to church, taking quiet time...it's all up to you, but it gives me purpose and structure when feeling existential.

Dedicate life to something bigger than yourself. Remain on the path by upkeeping discipline. Outside influences can lead you astray, but you are the difference between stumbling and getting up, and stumbling and remaining flat on your face. This will involve giving up certain things, such as music or shows or even people that push you further away from what you believe in.

Lastly, have a list of coping mechanisms that you review in crisis. Often, things get overwhelming and we won’t get the chance to sit down and journal or go read something. With that, it’s helpful to make a list of things that you know will help you cope and survive no matter what (while acknowledging the absence of these means you’re getting bad again.)

Here is a very small portion of my list:

cleaning my space

spending time with my dog

playing video games

writing, drawing, music

Ask yourself:

When's the last time I had a break without feeling guilty or lazy?

What positive practices do I have in place to keep me stable? What negative practices do I have in place that prevent me from being stable?

How am I currently working towards improving my mental state? What do I know about myself mentally and spiritually, and how can I use that to transcend?

9. Learn the art of detachment.

People talk about being unbothered, but I don't think everyone truly understands what that means. In this Dollhouse, unbothered does not mean being nonchalant and void of all emotions. Feelings are natural, and I am not sure where someone mixed that up. What creates "unbothered" energy and "detachment" is by realizing you cannot control everything and that majority of the time, it isn't personal. This is one of the hardest lessons out there.

Ask yourself:

Is this really in my control?

How can I focus on the present moment?

And ultimately, remember you cannot fix or please anyone. Keep your composure even in the face of negativity. Your reactions and perceptions to everything you deal with is the most important thing, and will be the common denominator when it comes down to your experiences. Two books I read that changed my perspective and helped me maintain this lifestyle on this was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty.

10. Above all, live in YOUR world!!!

Make your world exclusive. Keep certain things for yourself so it retains sacredness. Be your own best friend before anyone else. Learn to embrace your own company. Don't always be accessible. Cultivate richness in your life...be willing to take risks and have a variety of experiences.

The main and most important question to ask yourself is: What does my dream world look like?

This is where the Doll Life comes into play. Barbie was marketed as being an all around sweetheart and "girl boss" with the dream life. Bratz were marketed as having individuality and a dream world experience driven by passion.

Both have core values in making sure young girls dreamed big and remained authentic. Honorable mention: Disney, as they did a great job at emphasizing dreams can come true with Disney princesses.

What I want my version of a Doll Life to be marketed as is a world where we indulge in endless possibilities and be multiple versions of ourselves at once. Where we feel like something wonderful could happen, even in the midst of trials.

We can be gentle, yet demanding. We can be feminine with masculine energy, and vice versa. We don't have to choose between one aesthetic or the other. We don't have to conform to the world, because we are in it and not of it. Dolls are seen as "perfect", and that's just the thing, I don't want my brand to be a cookie cutter definition! That's why I say I am the Doll that no one can play with. To be a Doll means to be uniquely you and standing out amongst the rest. It's a mindset, it's a lifestyle.

Don't box yourself in... remember growing up the dream life of Bratz and Barbie refused to box themselves in and remained true to themselves. Live without limits!!! Dreams really can come true. And this Dollhouse is a safe space to DREAM!!!

Even if you don't believe it now, day by day, if you start dedicating yourself to this and remain congruent with your philosophy, you will be more than you could ever imagine. It took so much time for me to do this, but my life is forever changed. So indulge in your wishes, and create your own "life of luxury" or "dream world". Simply live by YOUR rules, and use mine as a outline to get started. I can't wait to see what all of you come up with. I hope this helps Dolls!!! *gives you the keys to your suite in the dollhouse* Proud of you!!!

xoxo,

thevirgodoll ♡

see also:

confidence tag

other doll diaries

advice

[lemoncrushh]

Tattooed Heart - Part VI

SUMMARY: You are a cocktail waitress at a swanky lounge. Harry comes in one night, and you instantly dislike him. But another encounter eventually changes your opinion.

PAIRING: Waitress Y/N x Artist/Tattoo Artist Harry

TROPES: Enemies to Lovers

MUST BE 18+ TO READ

WORD COUNT: 8.9k

STORY PAGE

“Hey, gorgeous! How are you? I’ve been so worried about you!” John exclaimed enthusiastically into the phone.

“I’m pretty good, actually. How are things at Zelda’s?” While you didn’t necessarily want to know the answer, you’d always considered John a friend and knew he had your back. Which was why you decided to give him a call.

“Oh girl, things have changed dramatically since you left!”

“Really?”

“Yes! We got a new manager. His name is Rafael, but we’re allowed to call him Rafi. He’s a dish and a half, let me tell you! Not like that last asshole.”

You chuckled. “Good, I’m glad for you.”

“Yeah, sucks for you though! If only you could have stayed. Hey, want me to put a good in for you with Rafi?”

“Um…no, that’s okay, John. I’m kind of happy where I am.”

“Seriously? Where’s that?”

You told your friend about working at the cafe. Then proceeded to tell him how Harry got you the job.

“To make a long story short,” you said, trying to do just that, “he’s not the jerk he appeared to be. And…well…now we’re dating.”

“Hold up! Stop right there. Rewind! I need to hear everything, Y/N! EVERYTHING!”

You laughed at the way John enunciated every syllable. And you’d expected as much. For the next hour, you went into every detail with him like he requested (at least as much as you were willing to divulge), and by the time you finished, it was time to get ready for your date with Harry.

“Oh my God, girl, that’s so crazy!” squealed John. “But I’m happy for you. If you’re happy.”

“I am.”

“Good. Just don’t forget about me, okay? Pop in some time, maybe with Handsome.”

“I will,” you promised.

After pulling on a pair of jeans and a stylish top, you brushed your hair and touched up your makeup. You were meeting Harry at his place, where he was making you dinner again, and then you were going to a movie. It seemed to be the first Saturday you were both off since you’d met. And you were looking forward to having a normal, mundane date night.

The last couple weeks had been both hectic and amazing. Since that evening at the gallery, Harry had been extremely busy finishing up his moon series paintings. Donovan McNulty had still been showing interest in Harry’s art, and specifically voiced that he wanted to know the minute his newest pieces would be available. And you’d been picking up extra shifts at the diner to make a little extra money. But any moment you were both free had been spent together. You took turns, rotating your visits at each others’ apartments. You enjoyed leaning against his kitchen counter while you watched him cook, and Harry enjoyed teasing Shae when she was around, and nibbling on the soft spot behind your ear as you watched TV when she wasn’t there - and sometimes when she was.

Your feelings for him were growing daily, and while you told yourself it was still too soon to have such feelings, you used your free time away from him to write them down. You expressed every emotion from the way your heart skipped when you’d see him sitting in his usual chair at the cafe, to the way your body ached for him as you laid in your bed staring at the ceiling. You even included the way it had felt when you’d seen Nicolette at the cafe and at the gallery, even though Harry assured you tenfold that he had broken off all contact with her. You didn’t want to be jealous of his ex. You knew deep down that it would not bode well if you were going to take this relationship to the next level. And you definitely wanted to.

Harry greeted you with a smile as he opened the door, a glass of wine already in his hand waiting for you. When you stepped inside, you gave him a quick kiss before accepting the glass and taking a sip.

“Mmm, something smells yummy!,” you commented, turning for the kitchen.

“Chicken Piccata with roasted radicchio and sweet potatoes,” Harry announced proudly as he followed you. “It’s almost ready.”

“Chef Styles, when are you opening your own restaurant? This is way too impressive for just me.”

“You’re the only one I care to impress,” he said, pushing your hair from your neck to softly brush his lips across your tender flesh.

You reached behind you for his hands, bringing his arms around your waist. He hummed against your skin as he gave you a squeeze. The timer on the oven sounded then with a friendly chime, and Harry hesitantly released you in order to remove its contents. Watching him serve up the meal, you joined him at the table with your wine.

“I have some news,” he announced after you’d taken your first bite and raved about its deliciousness.

“Oh? What is it?” you asked enthusiastically.

“I’m having another gallery showing. For the moon series.” Harry stabbed his fork into his chicken before lifting his eyes to you.

“Are you kidding? That was quick!”

“Well, yeah,” he grinned. “I brought them yesterday for Sherrod to see. Apparently he phoned McNulty, gave him some rubbish about how brilliant they are, and he’s flying down Thursday to see for himself.”

Quickly dismissing the fact that he’d degraded his own art, because you knew he didn’t really think it was rubbish, you focused on the positive.

“Oh my God, Harry! That’s wonderful! I’m really proud of you.”

“I know, babe. And I appreciate all the support you’ve given me. You'll never know how much.”

“I have an idea,” you jested. “You spoil me with this delicious food.”

“That’s just because I can,” he winked. “And because I want to. It’s not a payment.”

“Good to know,” you said before popping a bite of sweet potato in your mouth.

“I would like your help with something, though.”

“Sure, anything.”

“Could you help spread the word about the exhibit?” Harry requested. “Maybe invite some friends? The more the better. The cocktail party was nice, but I’d like it to be a massive event.”

“Ooh, yes! I’d love to!”

Rising from your chair, you reached over the table to plant a kiss on Harry’s lips, to which he happily accepted.

“When would you like to get your tattoo?” Harry asked as you laid twisted in the sheets, his bare thigh crossed over yours, his fingertips tracing nonexistent lines down your arm.

You turned your head to the side to look at him. If it was possible, he appeared even more beautiful than ever, his eyelids heavy, his pillowy lips swollen, his scruffy jaw threatening to produce more facial hair now that the morning was nigh. The evening of lovemaking had been blissful, Harry having brought you to orgasm not once, not twice…but three times. And while you worried you’d never walk again, the man beside you looked completely fucked.

You couldn’t help but be elated by the knowledge that you’d made that happen.

“I’m not sure yet,” you whispered, reaching for his stubbly chin. “Soon, I guess.”

You felt Harry breathe out of his nose, and while he tried to hide it, you could detect the frown on his lips.

“Do you not want it?” he inquired after a beat.

“I…no, I do,” you nodded.

“‘Cause you don’t have to get it,” Harry added. “The one I designed, or any other one. If you don’t want a tattoo, it’s fine. I’ll understand.”

“No, I want one.”

Harry continued to draw his finger down your arm. You could tell the conversation wasn’t over, but you were unsure what else to say. So you let Harry gather his thoughts instead. Finally he sighed, his gaze returning to your face.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“What for?” you asked.

“If I made you uncomfortable. It just dawned on me that I might have been a bit presumptuous with the tattoo. I know they can be very personal, and I…I should have just let you pick what you want.”

Blinking, you rolled over onto your side to face him. “Harry, no. That’s not it at all. I love the one you designed. I told you I loved that painting.”

“Then what is it?” Harry lifted a hand to brush your hair from your face, twisting the end of the strands between his fingers. “Any time I bring it up, you kind of hesitate or change the subject.”

“I…I didn’t realize,” you looked down at his chest. “I apologize.”

“Baby, look at me,” he insisted, urging your chin up. “Talk to me. Are you af-”

You stopped him mid-sentence with your finger on his lips. As you shook your head, Harry chuckled. Then tugging on your wrist, he released your hand from his mouth.

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say,” he remarked.

“Just don’t use that word.”

“Alright,” he softened his expression, returning his fingers to your hair. “Am I moving too fast for you? Is that it?”

You gulped and sucked in your lips. Then you let out a nervous chuckle of your own. “It seems ridiculous to admit that after what we just did.”

“Not really,” Harry shook his head. “Sex can be separate from feelings. Although…I’m going to confess right now…for me…it’s not. Not with you.”

“Harry…” you breathed.

“Babe…” he murmured, pulling you closer. “I reckon I’ve conveyed my feelings for you already…at least a little bit. But if you need me to back off…I will.”

You stared at him, this gorgeous man. You couldn’t believe in just a few weeks you’d gone from hating him to…whatever this was.

“No,” you argued. “I don’t want you to.”

“No?”

“No, because…I’m feeling…things too.”

Harry’s voluptuous mouth curved into a sexy grin. You felt his hand on your back, his fingers dancing up your flesh.

“I’m just…a little hesitant, I guess,” you added, “about getting the tattoo…because it’s such an intimate thing to do, you know? To get ink on my skin of something you gave me, art you designed for me. And it’s…forever.”

Harry blinked slowly with a nod. “I completely understand, love. I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just me. Like you said, it’s personal. And I would feel horrible if something happened between us, and-”

“Shh, baby…” Harry interrupted you this time. “It’s okay. I get it. Take all the time you need.”

You gave him a gentle smile before he pulled you into a deep kiss. Your eyelids heavy, and sleep threatening to take over, you tugged on the sheets. Getting the hint, Harry grinned, situating the covers over you before reaching for the lamp.

“Goodnight, baby,” he whispered. “Sweet dreams.”

You hummed in agreement as he held you against his warm body, and before you could even think any more about tattoos, you were sound asleep in his arms.

The rest of Sunday and most of Monday was spent making phone calls. You promised Harry a grand party, and you were determined to deliver. After telling Shae your plan, she was more than happy to come through by offering to tell her coworkers as well as some of your mutual friends. You called John to let him know as well, and he said he was already going to ask for the night off, and maybe even bring Rafi with him…if he was available, as he put it. You also called the gallery Monday morning, unbeknownst to Harry, to speak with Sherrod yourself. He told you how excited he was for Harry’s new exhibit, which put your mind at ease a bit.

“I really want this to be special for him,” you explained. “Is there anything I can do to help? To get the word out? More advertising? Do I need to hire a caterer or something?”

“Don’t you worry about a thing, darling,” assured Sherrod. “I’m already having my secretary making contacts as we speak. And I personally phoned my caterer on Friday.”

“Oh, fantastic,” you said. “The more people we can get to come, the better. There’s just one thing…”

“Don’t worry about that either, my pet. You have my word Miss Waters will not get an invite.”

“Ohh. For some reason I thought…” you chuckled nervously. “I don’t know how art galleries work, forgive me.”

Sherrod laughed heartily through the phone, catching you off guard. “Nothing to forgive, darling. Harry and I have already spoken about this as well.”

You breathed through your nose. Of course they had.

“Thank you, Sherrod. I appreciate everything.”

“It’s going to be a splendid night, you can be sure!”

Hanging up, you felt a heavy weight lift off your chest. It was quickly replaced with a glittery excitement. You couldn’t wait.

When you arrived for your mid-day shift at the cafe, you made a beeline for Jill who was making a cold brew for a customer. The look on her face when you told her the news about Harry’s exhibit was priceless.

“Of course I’ll be there!” she squealed. “Are you kidding me?”

“Bring some friends too, okay? I want to show him all the support we can give.”

That night, you sat in front of the TV writing in your journal. You soon found yourself mindlessly doodling in the corners of the page. Harry was at work, and you didn’t want to bother him. Yet you couldn’t stop thinking about him. He truly had been the only thing on your mind all day.

“Pppfff, more like for the last month,” you admitted out loud.

Tossing your notebook to the side, you leaned back on the couch and ran your fingers through your hair, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Jesus Christ, what am I doing?”

Getting up from the sofa, you slipped on your shoes, not bothering to change out of your lounge-at-home outfit - a dark green tunic and black leggings. The only effort you made was to brush your teeth and touch up your lip gloss before heading out the door.

The neon sign in the window seemed to glow brighter than you remembered, an enticing greeting to lure you in. Not that you hadn’t already planned to go inside.

Swinging the door open, you noticed an empty waiting area and counter. Smooth, instrumental jazz played through the speakers as you peeked your head through the doorway to scan the tattoo stations, but still saw no one. You were just about to walk through the shop to Harry’s office when you saw Kyle emerge.

“Oh, hey,” he grinned. “You’re Y/N, right?”

“Yes,” you nodded, happy that he knew. Surely he didn’t remember you from the last time he’d seen you in the shop, but perhaps Harry had told him about you and he put two and two together. The idea made you blush a little.

“Harry’s in the back. I’ll go get him for you.”

Before you could retort, Kyle disappeared through the doorway from which he’d just appeared. And within seconds, your handsome, cheery boyfriend replaced him.

“Hi, babe!” he beamed. “What are you doing here?”

You shrugged, shyly. “Came to get my tattoo.”

His eyes widening, Harry stepped closer to you. “Really? Are you sure?”

Licking your lips, you nodded. “Positive.”

His dimples on full display, Harry pulled you into an embrace. You could feel his heart beating in his chest as he whispered in your ear. “I’m so happy.”

Then stepping back, Harry gestured toward his station. “Go ahead and have a seat. I’ll get everything ready and tell Kyle he can go home.”

“Oh!” you mouthed, surprised. Harry disappeared into the back room again before you could argue.

Situating yourself in Harry’s chair, you gazed at the art on display around his station as well as photos of various clients’ tats. While a few pieces looked to be fairly common, most of them were exquisite, no doubt one-of-a-kind works of art. You were staring at a large dragon piece on someone’s back when you heard a voice behind you.

“Bye, Y/N,” Kyle called. “Have a nice night.”

“Oh, thanks. Same to you,” you waved just as Harry walked up.

“You didn’t have to make him leave,” you said under your breath. “You’re not closed yet, are you?”

“I am now,” Harry wiggled his brows before walking to the front door and locking it, turning the OPEN sign to the CLOSED side.

With pursed lips, you tried to hold back a smirk as Harry returned, his own smirk tugging on his mouth.

“Slow night?” you inquired when he sat down on his stool.

“You would not believe. That’s why we were in my office. Kyle helps me with my website.”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you watched Harry get his tray ready just like he had the day you’d brought Shae. That already felt like a lifetime ago.

“You always surprise me with your music choices,” you commented as you listened to the soft jazz.

Harry chuckled with a nod. “This is my focus, slash wind-down music. Since it was slow, I switched it from grunge whilst we worked on the website.”

“I like it,” you grinned.

Harry gazed up at you from under his lashes before his eyes roamed down your body. You felt a tingle as his gaze made its way back up to your face.

“What?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“Was just recalling the last time you were sat in this chair.”

“Oh my God, Harry,” you blushed. “Please tell me you sanitized it!”

His eyes squinting as he giggled, Harry scooted closer to you. “You’re too much, babe.”

“Why, because I like cleanliness?”

“No, because that’s your first thought. It certainly wasn’t mine.”

You stared into his jade eyes that were now inches from your face, the irises appearing to have a dark line around them.

“That was…um, some kind of night,” you murmured softly.

“Indeed, it was.” Harry’s hand landed just above your knee then before he slid it slowly up your thigh.

“Hmm,” you nodded. “Are you trying to seduce me again?”

Harry puffed out a chuckle. “No. Don’t reckon I had to try then either.”

Dragging your tongue across your teeth, you focused on his mouth and the way his hand felt on your leg. “Fair enough. What do you remember most about that night?”

“How sweet your pussy tasted on my tongue,” he quickly replied, as if he’d had his answer ready before you’d even asked the question. “And how you tugged on my hair and your thighs trembled as you called my name.”

“Harry…”

“Oh, it was much louder than that.”

You blushed again, but this time you didn’t bother hiding it. Leaning towards you, Harry placed a soft kiss on your lips. Followed by a second, and a third. By the fourth, your fingers were in his hair, his tongue in your mouth. You reveled in the sensation, urging him with your own. When a gentle moan escaped your chest, Harry’s hand that had been on your thigh made its way between your legs. You began to grind against him in your seat, knowing your leggings and panties were already soaked through. His other hand traveled underneath your t-shirt, and when his fingers met your bare skin, you gasped.

“Are you…,” you gulped, “planning to eat me out again on this chair?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, a devilish smirk on his face.

“Oh.”

“I have other things in mind,” he added, echoing the exact words he’d said to you that night before taking you home.

“Oh…”

Harry sat back on his stool and raised a brow. “I thought you wanted a tattoo, love.”

“Harry Styles! Are you teasing me?” you exclaimed.

Giggling with glee, you noticed his eyes dancing. “Maybe.”

“Rude!” you frowned, tugging your shirt down. Your pussy still throbbing from his hand, you pouted.

“I’m sorry, baby. It’s my fault. Seeing you in this chair…it turned me on, and I got carried away. I do want to play. But I think we should get started on this tattoo, don’t you? It’s gonna take a bit.”

You nodded with a sigh. “Okay.”

Harry gave you a peck on the nose and one on the lips. “Now, did you decide where you want it? The ink, I mean,” he smirked.

“So, I had considered getting it on my side, like down my hip. There’s plenty of room to make it big. But then I changed my mind.”

“Too much?” Harry asked.

“Nope. Not enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nobody’s gonna see it there. Except you. And while the idea is sexy, I’d rather have the art my boyfriend designed to be in a spot everyone could see.”

“Baby…” Harry breathed, his hand over his heart.

“I know, I’ve been hesitant about this,” you explained. “About us. But I have no clue why. We’ve spent all this time together. You’ve shown me time again that you’re interested in more than just…a fling. Every time I’m with you, I feel butterflies and moonbeams and…all the cheesy things.” You let out a nervous sigh as you looked down at your hands, then back up to his gorgeous face. “The truth is…I’m crazy about you, Harry.”

“Sweetheart,” he cried, pulling you into another kiss. Then leaning his forehead against yours he murmured, “You make me so happy.”

“Good,” you grinned, your right hand on his cheek as you held out your left. “That’s why I think we should put it right here, below my elbow, down the inside of my arm.”

“I think that would be lovely,” he agreed, misty-eyed. Then he kissed the inside of your wrist before rising from his stool. “Let me go get the stencil, and I’ll be right back.”

When he stepped away, you suddenly felt butterflies in your tummy, and not just from the notion of getting a tattoo. You’d almost told him more than you’d planned. The truth was, you weren’t just crazy about him. You were falling for him. Hard. Perhaps you had been falling bit by bit every day. And you were finally willing to admit it to yourself. But you weren’t quite sure yet if you were ready to say it to him. It still felt too soon. But you loved the look on his face when you’d revealed what you had. His delight gave you hope that perhaps he felt the same.

Harry returned with a big smile on his face. Placing the stencil next to him, he pulled on his gloves. Then reaching for the rubbing alcohol and a cotton pad, he eyed you.

“Still wanna do this?” he asked.

“Definitely,” you beamed.

Taking your arm, he gently rubbed the soaked cotton pad down your arm, from the elbow to your wrist. Then he took a new disposable razor and gently shaved the area, just like you’d seen him do on Shae, back when you still hated him. The idea brought a sour taste to your mouth.

“You okay?” he asked again.

“Yeah, sorry. Was just…thinking.”

“About?” Harry raised a brow.

“How far we’ve come in just a short time.”

Harry’s face softened. “I think about that a lot.”

“You do?”

“I thank my lucky stars every fucking day that you forgave me. That you were able to see the real me and change your mind. I only wish…”

“What?” you asked.

His gaze seemed to burn into you as he looked deep into your eyes. “I wish we had met some other way. Like some random day at the cafe, or maybe here when you’d come with Shae. Or maybe even at Zelda’s on a night I was alone. Some other way that you could have met the real me instead of that prick I pretended to be.”

You sat in silence as you absorbed Harry’s words and watched him place the thermal paper on your arm with the stencil. When he peeled it off was when you spoke.

“What would you have said?”

“When?”

“If we had met in a different situation. What would you have said to me?”

“In which scenario?” he smirked.

“Let’s go with the first one. Obviously I wouldn’t be working at the cafe. But let’s say I came in one day that you were sitting there working on your iPad.”

Harry chuckled loudly, catching you off guard. “Well, I can’t really say for sure, can I? There are other factors involved.”

“Alright,” you agreed. “But you said you’ve thought about it. What happens in your…wish?”

You swore you caught a tiny bit of color in his cheeks as Harry pulled his tray closer to him. “We have to get serious now, babe. I’m about to stick a needle in your arm.”

You puffed out a breath in humor, then sat up straight in your chair. “Fine. Mark me.”

Harry’s nostrils flared as he chuckled at your joke. Then he made a few adjustments to his tattoo gun before getting to work. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt as bad as you thought it would. You watched as Harry traced the stencil, starting with the dripping moon at the top. After every stroke, he would wipe your skin. He seemed so focused, so gentle. You stared at his face for a little while, and every time he’d bite his lower lip, it sent your heart all aflutter. When he finished the outline, he looked up at you.

“Still doing okay?”

“Mmhmm,” you nodded.

He gave you a smile before returning his focus to your arm. You were both quiet for a moment until he spoke again.

“I probably would have stared at you for a bit.”

“Huh?”

“At the cafe. If you had been sat near me at a table by yourself. I would have kept sneaking glances at you, but making sure you didn’t notice.”

“Well then, how am I supposed-”

“At first,” he interrupted. “Then I would have wanted you to notice. When we finally made eye contact, I’d have smiled at you.”

Lifting his head, Harry gave you just the smile he was referring to. And your insides ignited.

“I would say that’s very cheesy and cliche, but it’s not. I like it.”

“So what would you have done if I’d come over to your table and asked you your name?”

“I would have told you, and hoped to God you’d ask me for my number too.”

“Alright then,” Harry snickered. “That’s one scenario. But it didn’t happen.”

“It’s fine, Harry,” you said. “Something else happened instead. And we’re here anyway.”

“Yes, we are.”

You watched Harry continue on the tattoo, the moon starting to look realistic with the shading. As always you were in awe of him and his talent. Just like when you would watch him work at the cafe, you found yourself completely mesmerized. It was utterly sexy to you, from the way he focused on his project at hand, to the curls that framed his face and neck, and even down to the way his own tattooed arms flexed as he worked. As you studied him you let out a deep breath, feeling the wetness pooling in your panties again.

“Still okay?” Harry suddenly asked with a tiny smirk, as if he’d noticed.

“I’m wonderful,” you answered dreamily.

“You need to move your elbow a little?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure,” you nodded as Harry sat back to let you. Your arm had been in one position for a while, and you were starting to feel the effects.

“Okay, I’m good,” you commented as you reached your arm out again. “Tell me about your next project. What are you working on?”

“Just a second,” Harry muttered. As he scooted closer again, you wondered what he was doing until he beckoned you with his gloved hand. “Kiss me.”

You grinned widely before you happily obliged, giving him a few more kisses than he’d asked for just for good measure.

“Mmm, thanks babe. It’s hard to be around you for this long without touching your lips.”

“You’re welcome. And you’re the sweetest.”

With a wink, Harry returned to his task, this time moving onto the shading of the heart. “I actually haven’t started anything new yet,” he replied to your previous inquiry. “With the moon series now at the gallery, I’ve kind of been trying to finish up some older pieces.”

“Oh? I didn’t know you had anything that was incomplete.”

“Yeah. You saw the citiscape one, right?”

“Yes, that was gorgeous! That wasn’t finished?”

“Not yet. I keep feeling like there’s something missing, but…I dunno. I’m also not sure if I want it to be a series or a stand alone piece.”

“Well, whatever you decide, I know it’ll be amazing. As always,” you offered emphatically.

“Thanks, babe. This is why…” he left his thought unfinished as his tattoo gun rounded the edges of the heart.

“Why what?”

Harry lifted his head, giving you an easy grin. “Why you’re a wonderful lady.”

You watched Harry finish the heart on the tat while you thought your own heart could burst. You thought he was going to say it for a second, but you understood why he hadn’t. It seemed like such a mundane moment to express those three words.

Changing the subject, Harry chatted with you lightly about the upcoming exhibit, about the cafe, about food. You told him about your pal John, and how he was planning to come as well as Jill and Shae.

“Thanks again for doing this for me, babe,” he grinned. “I truly appreciate you.”

“Of course, Harry. I honestly think I’d do just about anything for you.”

Raising his eyebrows, Harry gave you a sexy look before quickly looking back down at your arm. “I think we’re done, babe.”

“Oh. Oh!” You tore your eyes from his to gaze down at your new tattoo. It was extraordinary to say the least.

“It’s…so beautiful, Harry,” you choked. “I love it!”

“It’s yours,” he commented. “And only yours.”

Your eyes began to well up with tears, making your vision too blurry to even see it. But you knew he was right. You had a one-of-a-kind Harry Styles work of art on your arm. And you couldn’t be more proud.

“C’mere, you can look in the mirror,” Harry beckoned, gesturing to the mirror behind him on the wall.

Standing in front of it, you wiped your eyes with your fingers until Harry handed you a tissue.

“Don’t cry, love,” he cooed. “You’ll make me think you made a mistake.”

“Of course not, silly man.” You stretched your arm down to look at the full length of the ink on your skin. “No mistakes here.”

“I’m glad,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chest on your shoulder as you took in the image of you both in the mirror. Grabbing his phone, Harry then took a couple of quick photos of your arm. “Let’s go ahead and put a covering on that so it won’t get infected.”

“Oh, how long do I have to do that? I wanna be able to show it off this weekend.”

Harry smirked at your pout. “Just a few days. You should be okay by then.”

Once again, you sat in his chair while he applied the dressing and bandage. Then he explained to you the aftercare, which made you giddy. You knew it was his job, but you enjoyed seeing him being professional.

“I’ll give you some information to take home with you as well,” he added as he removed his gloves, “but right now, I really need to touch you.”

You opened your mouth, but before you could make a syllable, Harry slid his hands under your jaw and pulled you into a warm kiss. He soon deepened it, his tongue invading your mouth as his hands traveled around your neck to your hair. When he finally released you enough to take a breath, you gasped.

“Wow.”

“Uh huh,” he voiced so low that you barely heard it. Then he licked his lips before sliding his hand up your thigh like before. “Exactly.”

You stared at Harry, his eyes darkening as he fingers began to tease you between your legs.

“So, what…mmm,” you swallowed at the sensation, “what other things did you have in mind?”

“Oh, you really wanna know?” he quirked a brow.

“Mmhmm. Yes, please.”

“Hmm, you ask so politely. But I might wanna keep teasing you like this. Make your legs tremble until you can’t stand it anymore. Until you’re begging for me to make you come.”

“Mmm,” you moaned again as he applied more pressure with his thumb, his hand cupping you, still over your clothes. “I don’t think I would be opposed to that.”

“No? You like being teased?”

“I like the way you tease,” you replied, breathy.

A low chuckle rose from his throat, and you felt the vibration as his face was just inches from yours. Then he surprised you by rising from his chair, his hand leaving your throbbing core to tug on the bottom of your t-shirt.

“Off, sweetheart,” he demanded.

You lifted your arms for him to remove your top, careful of your freshly tattooed area. You nearly came unglued at the sight of him biting his bottom lip.

“Sorry I don’t have on fancy undies,” you said, looking down at your cotton bralette.

“Are you kidding?” he snorted before he helped you remove that garment as well, his hands quickly palming your bare breasts.

You closed your eyes, reveling in the pleasure of his calloused thumbs skimming across your perky buds. He was so light and gentle with his touch, that you almost pouted, but you knew this was his intention. To drive you crazy.

He kissed you again, his hands still on you until he backed away suddenly. You opened your eyes to see him removing his own shirt, his tattooed torso on display. Your mouth watered instantly, an automatic reaction now.

You and Harry had good sex. There was no denying it. Not that you liked to compare, but Harry was the best in bed. He already knew what you liked, what buttons to press and which ones not to (not that there were many). But the best thing about the sexual part of your relationship was that it was never boring. Even when it was just quick fucking, it was amazing. Even when it was sweet, sleepy sex, you were left satisfied.

So Harry implying - albeit obviously - that he wanted to fuck you on that tattoo chair was no surprise. But the thrill was still as strong as ever. Everything he did excited you. Jesus, just looking at him sent a bolt of electricity down to your cunt, making you squeeze your muscles together.

Letting out a breath, you reached for his belt, pulling it from the loop and releasing it. He gave you another smirk as you tugged on his jeans with your non-tattooed arm, frustrated when the button wouldn’t come loose.

“Let me help, baby,” he growled, keeping your hand in position as he covered it with his own hand and helped you pull. The button popped open, the zipper separating along with it as your tug was determined. Then Harry assisted you further, his hand guiding yours down the front of his pants.

“As if you had to help me with that,” you scoffed with a grin.

“Maybe I wanted some help,” Harry eyed you.

“I don’t think that’s necessary either, big boy.”

His sexy low chuckle vibrated through your hand while you found you were a hundred percent correct. Standing from the chair, you pulled him from the confines of his jeans, the pink, bulbous head of his hard cock greeting you.

“Mmm,” you sounded. “Maybe I could help a little.”

You released his erection for just a moment to run your hands down his chest, your fingernails raking over his pecs and the light dusting of chest hair around his nipples. But it didn’t take long for Harry to reach for your tits again, squeezing them in his hands.

“Wait…I thought I was supposed to be teasing you,” he groaned.

“So you don’t want your cock in my mouth?” you teased back.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Fuck, babe, I don’t know anymore. You’re so hot. I’m so turned on.”

“I can see that,” you grinned, wrapping your palm around his cock again. Before he could protest, you fell to your knees.

“Babe…” you heard as you barely licked the tip.

“Just let me, Harry. Please? I’m begging,” you looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, batting your lashes.

Letting out a breathy chuckle, Harry gave you permission with a nod and heavy eyelids. You took your time, wetting the head first, then slowly dragging your tongue underneath his length, from the base to the tip. Then licking your lips, you wrapped them around his hard cock, giving a generous amount of suction.

You heard his heavy breathing get louder and faster as you steadied yourself with your other hand on his hip. His own hands were everywhere at first, starting in your hair, then trying to paw at your breasts, then finally settling back on your head, gently urging and guiding you.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so good at this.”

You’d never considered yourself a pro at giving head. You couldn’t even take all of him, for fear of choking. But he didn’t seem to mind. Your mouth and tongue along with your hand seemed to do the trick. After a few more swirls of your tongue, you allowed your other hand to reach underneath, grabbing his balls. He moaned loudly, another expletive rising from his chest.

“Baby. Baby, baby, stop. I don’t wanna come yet.”

Popping off of him, you smiled up at him, saliva dripping from your chin. You enjoyed pleasuring him, but you were excited to move on to phase two. With another low groan, Harry ran his thumb across your chin, guiding you back up to your feet.

“Y/N. I need to be inside you. Now.”

“Aw, you mean I don’t have to beg?”

Harry didn’t bother replying with words. Instead, he pulled down your leggings with fervor, your panties clinging to them so they slipped down together, pooling around your ankles just like Harry’s jeans.

“Turn around, sweetheart,” he patted your hip while wiggling his brows.

More electricity surging through you, you happily did as you were told, bending over the tattoo chair. You felt Harry run his hands down your ass before grabbing your hip and situating himself at your entrance. He slid in slowly at first, like he always did in order to get adjusted. But as soon as he let out a gasp that echoed your own, you knew it wouldn’t be long before he started to move faster.

Harder. His fingers dug into your flesh as he pounded into you. You bit your lip at first, then thought it silly since you were alone. As you began to moan, so did Harry. The sounds intertwined with the sexy, slow jazz were intoxicating. And when Harry bent over to grab your hair and talk in your ear, you thought you might come.

“Pussy’s so good, baby. Been thinking about it all day. Always so wet for me.”

“Mmmm,” was all you could manage.

“You like me fucking you like this?”

“Yes!”

“You like my hard cock pounding into you, my balls slamming against your wet pussy?”

“God, yes!”

“Yeah. It’s mine, innit? Your gorgeous cunt is all mine.”

“Mmhm.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s all yours, Harry. I’m all yours.”

Moaning in your ear, Harry slowed down. You wondered for a moment what was happening as you knew he hadn’t come yet. Then you felt a chill on your back as he stood up, his hands at your hips.

“Let’s get these off the rest of the way,” he said with heavy breaths, indicating your pants.

Blinking, you wiped your eyes and toed off your shoes, stepping out of the leggings as you watched Harry do the same with his jeans.

“Sorry, babe, for the interlude,” his voice cracked. “I wanna try something else.”

“Okay.”

You watched as he readjusted the chair to lay flat. Then he laid down on it.

“C’mere, babe,” he beckoned. “Climb on top of me.”

You shifted your eyes nervously. “Are you sure we won’t break it?”

“Only one way to find out,” he smirked.

Sucking in your lips, you climbed on with Harry’s assistance. You giggled at the awkwardness of it all as you straddled him.

“Just a second, honey,” he said when you were about to aim his cock. “Let me look at you.”

You glared at him, once again wondering what was going through his head. He acted as if he’d never looked at you before. But as you smiled down at him, his own lips grew into his dimpled grin, making you warm all over. He brushed your hair from your face, his thumb grazing across your cheek.

“You’re like an angel,” he murmured. “You take my breath away.”

“Harry…” you exhaled.

“I’m all yours too, honey.”

You beamed at him, knowing it was a reply to your previous admission. Then lifting yourself onto your knees, you looked into his eyes as you sank down onto his cock. You hissed as he closed his eyes, both of you already sensitive.

You rode him with determination, needing to chase the release. After bouncing on him a few times, Harry took your left hand and held it to his chest, making sure you didn’t put too much pressure on that arm. You giggled awkwardly as you tried to keep your balance, but your boyfriend was good at helping.

As you started to reach your high, the burn imminent both in your thighs and your core, you began to cry out.

“Harry….it’s so good, baby…oh, God…Harryyyyy.”

Bucking his hips against you, his hands both now on your own hips, he stared you in the eyes.

“I know, honey. Tell me.”

“Mmmmm…I’m all yours, Harry,” you bit your lip, throwing your head back.

“Y/N. Look at me.”

Blinking, you gazed down at him, his gorgeous face flushed. He groaned in pleasure before wrapping his arms around you.

“Tell me, baby. I wanna hear you say it.”

“What?”

“Tell me you love me.”

Your eyes widening, you stared at him in…no, not disbelief. Because you absolutely believed it.

“I know you feel it, baby. Just like I do. Tell me. Please.”

You’d slowed down your hips, Harry having paused his thrusts. But as you began to resume, moving faster, his gorgeous mouth hanging open, you nodded.

“I love you, Harry.”

His lips twitched before he licked them, then pulled you to him for a kiss.

“I love you, too, Y/N.”

A tiny giggle escaped your throat as realization kicked in. You were in love. And all his.

You rode Harry to the finish, reaching orgasm just before he cried out those three words again. He kissed you deeply, his tongue letting you know how pleased he was. His head falling back, his eyes closed in complete bliss, the biggest, dopiest grin on his face.

“Say it again, babe.”

You kissed his salty chest and neck, then gnawed on his stubbly chin.

“I love you,” you sang softly before kissing his lips.

“And I love you,” he echoed while your face hovered over his, your hair surrounding you both like a secret garden. “So much.”

Chatter filled the room and your ears as you suddenly heard the clink of a fork against glass.

"Ladies and gentlemen! A toast! To our man of the evening!" announced Sherrod. Harry turned to him with a bashful grin. "It has been my utmost pleasure to host this soiree for such an incredible artist. He is a viable part of this community, and I know you all join me in congratulating him at completing another remarkable series. To Harry Styles!"

As everyone clapped and cheered, raising their glasses, you heard Stan shout, "Hear, hear!"

Smiling at your boss, whom you had been thrilled to see arrive with his wife, you watched him make a taste of his own.

"Harry, my son, I've watched you sit at that same table in my cafe for over a year, doodling on your notepads and…thingamajig…" he gestured, making the guests chuckle. "To be honest, I didn't understand why my coffee shop, or why that table…or why only flat white lattes…" more laughs erupted as he patted Harry on the shoulder. "But I knew you had talent. And ambition. I'm proud of you, son. And I'm proud to say I knew you when."

"Hear, hear!" Sherrod and others cheered, raising their glasses again.

"Thank you, Stan. Thank you Sherrod," Harry choked. "This whole night means more to me than you'll ever know. All of you. I'm so humbled that each of you came tonight. This truly was special. I'll never forget it."

Harry's eyes met yours during his final words. Then as the chatter resumed, he stepped forward and pulled you into a long kiss.

"Alright you two," said Jill behind you. "Don't go find a room just yet. I need to take pictures."

You giggled as your friend held her phone up and you posed for several photos with Harry, including one where you were kissing him on the cheek. Satisfied with her shots, Jill squealed with joy and announced she had to take some more with her other friends next to Harry’s art.

A waiter came by then with more champagne, and you gladly took another glass, handing him your empty one.

“I’m so happy to see you having a good time,” beamed Harry, his arm still around you.

“I may have had a few too many of these,” you snickered, covering your mouth with your hand.

“No matter. We have that limo, thanks to you.”

“You can actually thank Shae. It was her idea.”

“Where is Shae, by the way?” Harry turned his head to search for your roommate. He spotted her next to the shrimp, talking to Kyle. His chest shook with laughter as he turned back to you.

“What?” you asked. “Kyle’s a nice guy, right?”

“Yeah. Too nice. She’s probably giving him an earful, and I’ll have to hear about it later.”

You playfully slapped his arm in your friend’s defense, though you knew he was right.

“Good idea, by the way, showing off your tattoo right away. I already have some clients lined up.”

“That’s awesome!” you cheered. You figured one of them was the nice lady you were talking to last time, since you saw her again soon after you’d arrived.

“Harry, my good man, congratulations!” another voice sounded. You both swiveled to see Carlo, his arm already stretched to give Harry a hug.

“Thank you so much for coming, Carlo.”

“Anything for you, my friend! Y/N, I don’t believe you’ve met my beautiful wife, Jossalyn.” Carlo gestured to the stunning tattooed brunette to his right.

You both gave each other salutations before Harry pulled her into a hug as well. Then they announced their exit and said their goodbyes.

“You have a lot of friends and admirers, Harry,” you commented.

He nodded. “Seems that way. I need to remember to count my blessings.”

You lifted your hand to his handsome face, and he covered it with his own, gently shutting his eyes.

“Y/N! We have to be going, guys!” John shouted, breaking your reverie.

“John, thank you so much for coming!” you told him as you squeezed him. “And for bringing Rafi.”

“Told you he’s a dish,” he whispered in your ear.

You nodded as you watched his partner shake hands with Harry, then you did the same. As soon as they left, Harry leaned into you.

“Rafael is interested in my art.”

“Your art, or something else?” you quirked a brow. “I saw how he looked at you earlier.”

Harry cackled. “I promise it was strictly a professional conversation. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll remind him I’m taken.”

As he slid his arm back around your waist, you shook your head as you smiled up at him. “I was teasing you. I wouldn’t blame anyone in this room for wanting a piece of you…professionally or otherwise. But I appreciate the sentiment. Also, I trust you.”

“Yeah? I’m glad, baby.”

Harry brought his hand up to slide under your jaw, and he was just about to kiss you when the other man of the hour interrupted.

“Harry, lad, I have an early flight in the morning, so I must bid farewell,” said Donovan McNulty. This evening he wore a black suit with a red bowtie. You smiled at him, holding out your hand.

“Mr. Nulty, thank you so much for coming. You’ve made Harry so happy.”

Donovan leaned in and kissed your cheek, then the other. “My dear, I reckon it’s the other way around. Besides, it looks like he’s found his happiness right here, with his muse.”

He gave you a wink as he squeezed your tattooed arm before shaking Harry’s hand and waving goodbye.

The party continued for another hour or so. You and Harry both gave a lot more thank yous and farewells. Then when no other guests remained (Harry insisted on seeing everyone out to show his appreciation), Sherrod finally shooed you out to the limo.

“Thanks for helping with everything, sweetheart,” cooed Harry as he necked you in the back of the car.

“I didn’t do much,” you conveyed. “Sherrod set up most of it.”

“No, you did more than you know. I love and appreciate you.”

“Same here, handsome,” you grinned before caressing his soft lips. “By the way, I have something to show you when we get to your place.”

“Yeah? Is it under your dress?”

You giggled as his hand wandered under the flimsy fabric of the new dress you’d purchased just for this occasion.

“No,” you playfully tugged at his wrist. “It’s something I left there while we were getting ready. It’s in your nightstand.”

“Handcuffs?”

“No! Harry Styles, I’m trying to be romantic and open, and you’re being naughty.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, babe. I can’t help it. It’s just where my mind went.”

“It’s okay,” you tutted.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

Harry held your hand as he walked you to his apartment. The glow of the moon shone through the balcony doors, punctuating the end of the moon-themed evening like a full stop. Although you weren’t ready for it to end just yet.

You laid your clutch bag on the counter next to his keys and wallet before he pulled you in for yet another kiss. Throwing your arms around his neck, you let his tongue tangle with yours, tasting the champagne you’d both consumed. Then he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you into the bedroom.

“Are you gonna show me now?” he asked between kisses after he laid you down.

You simply nodded, then reached for the bedside table, opening the top drawer. You retrieved a small notebook, the one you’d been writing in. Opening it, you flipped to the page you wanted to show him. When you handed it to him, he looked at you inquisitively.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Remember when you asked me if I had a hobby, something that I was passionate about? And I mentioned I used to write?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“You inspired me.”

With an easy grin, Harry sat back on the pillows, crossing his ankles. You sat next to him, your legs tucked underneath you as you bit your bottom lip nervously.

Brilliant, blazing, glistening, glittering

The celestial satellite shines by the light reflected from the sun

Its beautiful mystery soothingly captivates us

All aglow, seemingly from within

Feminine energy that affects the rise and fall of the tides

A big balloon, luminous and serene

These are words used to describe the moon

But they are also words to describe my heart

For my heart is now a big balloon

All aglow and alight from within

From the light of your heart, the sun

Brilliant, blazing, beautiful

Wondrous and astral, my heart is now home

Lowering the notebook after reading your poem, Harry looked at you.

“It’s kinda short,” you offered with a hesitant chuckle. “But it took me forever.”

“Baby,” he said, scooting closer to you and reaching for you. “This is beautiful.”

“Really?” you crinkled your nose, still not completely confident.

“Yes, baby, really. I love it. I love you.”

Your expression softened, easing into a smile. Harry pulled you to his chest, brushing your hair back from your face.

“Thank you for writing it, but even more, for sharing it with me.”

“I figured I should, since you share so much with me.”

“That’s what I mean, love. Not only did you share your heart with me, but you put it into words on paper. It’s stunning. I’m…”

His hands still in your hair, he paused his words.

“What?” you asked as you saw a tiny tear escape from the corner of his eye and down his cheek. “Harry…”

“Can’t help it, baby,” he choked as you wiped the tear. “I’ve fallen so hard for you.”

“Me too,” you whispered.

“Tell me again, Y/N.”

“I love you…” you said, his lips capturing yours once again before you could say his name.

You didn’t mind that he asked you to say those words. In fact, you liked it. You would tattoo it on your heart if you could.

THE END

And there we have it :). Please like, comment and consider following me if you enjoyed it! Feedback is love x.

[cilasbestos]

My autistic rambling about Cassandra from Tangled.

I refuse to use Gothel as her last name…

Anyways,

Saying that Cassandra was “angry at Rapunzel for getting kidnapped” is such a grossly incorrect representation of what was actually going on and I am tired of people pushing that that was all that upset her, instead of the seasons long conflict that was building up that culminated in her taking her anger about something only partially related out on Rapunzel because she was ALREADY upset with her.

Cass’ issues with Raps did not start when she took the moonstone, hell it didn’t even start when she went into the room in the house of yesterday’s tomorrow. It started in season one when Rapunzel was constantly, even if unintentionally, finding ways to overshadow her. It was worsened when Raps stopped valuing her opinion, which was a problem for Cass because she felt she had outlasted her usefulness, even though Cass is shown as a character who feels like she always needs a purpose or a duty to follow (which is likely a trauma response from being abandoned tbh???). Everything builds through seasons one and two, and Cassandra consistently finds herself overshadowed and ignored by Rapunzel and the people around her.

And THEN, Cass is given earth shattering news. Everyone else already chooses Rapunzel over her, of course her own mother did too. This particular instance wasn’t Rapunzel’s fault, but it pushed the same idea and feeling that all these other instances did; Cass isn’t important, and will always be outshined by Rapunzel. Something she had felt and experienced over and over, but this time the information was just big enough to be what sent her over the edge.

Yes, Cassandra overreacts, but she also is CONSTANTLY shown to be seeing whats wrong with her actions and rethinking everything. The first time, during Crossing The Line, she only doesn’t back down because Rapunzel triggers her by telling her to “wait”, the one thing she had been doing her entire life.

After that, every single major conflict with Cass throughout season 3 involves her realizing her error or questioning her path in some way, but people love to forget that she was actively being manipulated by Zhan Tiri at this point, leading her to being convinced to stay on the path Zhan Tiri wants her to be on. Yeah Cass is acting terrible, because an actual warlock found her when she was at her lowest and used her negative emotions to manipulate things in their favor. Eventually, when she is freed from that relationship with Zhan Tiri, everything resolves rather quickly, her having noticed the errors of her ways for a while now, but being constantly assured she was right.

In a way, Zhan Tiri plays a very similar role for Cassandra to that of what Gothel was to Rapunzel in the original movie.

I can probably do a more coherent, not-written-at-almost-midnight analysis of Cassandra eventually, because I have a lot to say and this is all over the place, but to conclude: Cassandra’s anger is not directly at Rapunzel for being kidnapped by Gothel. That simply happened to be the straw that broke the camels back after other events causes Cass similar feelings. This reveal was just the biggest, held the most weight. Even though Cass calmed down and again and again realized her wrong doings, the wrong person had influence over her when she was extremely vulnerable, leading the conflict to continue when it could have easily been avoided without the warlock’s influence.

[rmd-writes]

a love note (and some fics)

Sometimes I wonder if there's really anything bigger out there - the universe, some kind of higher power, fate - and then I think about how extremely lucky I am that I became obsessed with a certain tv show and its characters at just the right time so that I could befriend someone who then introduced me to a particular book at exactly the right time to fall in love with those characters as well. And then, because of my need to have more of those characters, I went looking for more stories about them at exactly the right time to meet a group of people (some of them together, some of them later, but that doesn't matter) who would go on to become my friends.

There must be something, right? To bring together a group of people who live in five to seven different time zones depending on the time of year. To create my safest spaces on the internet. To share not just our love for a book and its characters, but parts of our lives with each other. To have them all wedge themselves into the soft spaces of my heart and never leave.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last two weeks, because those people conspired and collaborated to gift me a collection of 10 incredible fics for a milestone birthday (tomorrow!) - even though some of them haven't written fic for months and months, or don't write for this fandom at all anymore, or have recently been finding it hard to make words work and finish fics, or are just plain busy with other projects and life. That they took the time to find and make words for me means everything and more 💖💖

I've been absolutely overwhelmed with love these past 10 days (probably to the surprise of no one, I have cried at every single fic drop and I'm crying writing this now). So, I want to share the wonderful fics that they've written for me with you all because it's the least I can do to pay it forward and they're objectively stellar fics. If you haven't come across them already then you should definitely add them to your to read lists/open tabs/MFL. Please show my friends some love and read their work.

The Rae of Sunshine! collection, in order of publication (with my very short summaries):

Take It Back (4.2K) by @three-drink-amy

Henry is the head chef at a French restaurant and there's one patron who keeps sending his dishes back. How can they resolve this?

Dick, Dick Dick (You Down) (10.2K) by @everwitch-magiks

Alex runs the craft services trailer on the set of actor!Henry's latest movie. Is he the only person who sees behind the façade?

A deceptively soft story, given the title.

Precious Love (1.3K) by floatingaway4

The fluffiest follow up to one of my favourite AUs Amigos y Migas (aka the food truck au).

Midnight ice cream (5.8K) by @the-amber-fox

Emotional support Cornettos? More likely than you think.

Make it Right (5.3K) by @three-drink-amy (that's right, Ally wrote me TWO FICS)

A rogue little Tarlos fic in amongst the firstprince - a post-season 1 canon divergence that sees TK working in a taco truck while he finds his feet.

a taste of life (7.4K) by @indomitable-love

A journey through Henry's life, told through food. (This one is not my summary, indomitablelove already summed it up perfectly)

Risotto + Melanzane + Dolce (a love story) (16.8K) by @villiageidiot

Alex starts working at an Italian restaurant and is terrible at his job. Somehow, Henry doesn't seem to mind.

Cursed is a State of Mind (WIP) by @welcometololaland & @dustratcentral

A 5 + 1 treatise on cursed coffee consumption.

12 Year Starter (6.6K) by @clottedcreamfudge

When Pez can't make it to Henry's Michelin-star birthday dinner, he arranges for Henry's friend, Alex, to take his place. Featuring CCF's signature banter and fun, and a menu that I wish was real.

Pour Your He(art) Out (WIP) by @athousandrooms

A 5+1 ode to latte art (featuring actual art!)

You can find the entire collection here on Ao3.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

What makes me so sad about Ryuji being reduced to “I am so horny and want girlfriend and also I’m stupid” is that I think he’s pretty much the perfect guy friend for any and all of the main girls to have.

Girls are especially socially expected to hold in anger. Having a best buddy who can and will get angry on your behalf and will encourage that in you and is also a dorky ray of sunshine would be so good for literally all of them.

And the foundations are there!

Ann and Ryuji love picking on each other so much; they’ve so clearly known each other in middle school (which is a time you never want anyone to know you from but if you still do, you probably are bound by blood or something). They have dumbass cousin energy. “Guy you saw in the hallway but never actually got to know until years later and now you’re inseparable and gleefully shoving each other with the greatest affection” energy.

Ryuji jumped in front of a car to help Makoto! On the surface it looks like studious girl and delinquent boy but that’s not it at all, because Makoto is just as gung ho as Ryuji when she gets going. Ryuji has so much respect and a healthy level of fear towards her, and Makoto knows Ryuji of all people is not going to judge her for jumping in headfirst for once… except sometimes her recklessness makes even Ryuji go “whoa, whoa! hold on are you crazy???” And then she tells him to “get on the fucking bike Skull we’re making a getaway” while sirens blare in the palace and Ryuji’s just like “yes ma’am” and trusting that Makoto is not about to get them killed… haha… ha…

Ryuji was probably the most chill with Futaba when they were trying to socialize with her because he was literally just being himself and chatting like he would with anyone else. He’s consistently impressed by her and thinks she’s so cool. Futaba of course loves getting his ass, but that is just how she shows affection. They play video games together for sure.

I still don’t know as much about Haru since I’m still on Okumura’s Palace, but again, I think these two could totally get along particularly because they are so wildly different. Haru is high class, sweet, and she holds back from the full range of her negative emotions for the most part. Ryuji’s mom has to work hard for them both, he’s a lot more aggressive and he’s almost always totally honest about what he feels. I just really think Ryuji could be the one to say “hey Haru, I know you’re being nice and all but that is extremely messed up and I will gladly punch that guy if you want me to” and Haru will pause and say “you know what, you’re right Ryuji, that is messed up. No need for punching, I will grab my axe. :)”

Even Kasumi!!! They’ve barely spoken so far and I already think Ryuji would hear about how hard she takes mistakes and totally cheer her on! Kasumi invites a few people to practice and she’s nervous and then Ryuji starts shouting encouragement at the top of his lungs. He is loud and he will drown out the doubt. (Ren’s next to him and wishes he brought ear plugs. Kasumi is completely mortified but it does, somehow, help.)

And if the game still really wants to make “lol this guy can’t get a girlfriend” jokes, then they literally could with this set up and it would legitimately be so funny. This guy has so many friends who are girls but no girlfriend. He laments this one day. All the girls get up and are like “okay. Operation Get Ryuji a Girlfriend is a go” and Ryuji realizes he’s made a terrible mistake.

Makoto takes it deadly seriously but obviously has no idea what she’s doing. She’s reading from a dating book and trailing off and frowning every once in awhile and taking notes. Ann can give actual good advice on occasion but most of the time she’s just trying various tactics to get free dessert from him. Futaba just wants to witness the chaos. She even brought chips. Haru tries to set the mood but there are rose petals everywhere and the entire movie theater is mysteriously and conveniently sold out so it’s just Ryuji and his hapless would-be date, and the cinema staff are serving 300k yen champagne??? They can’t even drink yet? Kasumi always cheers him on but the cheers slowly become less convincing and eventually peter out to awkward, smiling silence as something inevitably, always, goes horribly wrong. They all return to Leblanc in defeat where Ryuji immediately collapses on the floor and the girls attempt to reassure him that there’s always next time. He remains sprawled on the floor quietly sobbing as they continue to plot yet another disastrous date.

Ren and Morgana walk into this and go “what the fuck”. Yusuke grabs his sketchbook and immediately and eagerly seats himself on the floor as well to capture his best impression of Ryuji’s exhausted despair.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Elena of avalor goes crazy

Esteban’s song something I would never do Is essentially a whole soliloquy in a preschool show

Elena of Avalor goes SO HARD. Sometimes it’s pretty standard Disney Junior fare, but then every now and then, to keep you sharp, it punches you in the jaw with darkness or moral complexity or really profound, emotional storytelling. Esteban’s whole antivillain-antihero ping pong arc is rightfully iconic. But I want to call out Elena herself too. The protagonist of this Disney Junior princess TV show, the one little girls even younger than Disney’s average demographic are meant to look up to and connect with, clearly has PTSD, repeatedly demonstrating symptoms like flashbacks, panic attacks and hypervigilance. Her character growth is so well-done. She has serious flaws and makes meaningful mistakes, and then matures and takes accountability for them. Not all her issues are resolved within a few episodes or even whole seasons. In Season Three she gets a lot worse in some ways due to trauma. But she chooses to do the right thing enough, and receives enough help and support from her loved ones, to remain a good person and become a better one. She’s a genuinely great role model for kids and has so much older people can relate to and appreciate.

Like, Frozen has got a lot of praise for its portrayal of mental illness. And I am so glad that it did what it did, giving symptoms of anxiety and depression sympathetic representation in a mainstream, theatrically released, incredibly popular Disney movie. But Elena does everything Elsa does on Disney freaking JUNIOR and more over more time. Superpowers? Check. Beautiful, evolving relationship with her younger sister? Check. Rules a kingdom? Check. Is mentally ill, uses unhealthy coping mechanisms like emotional repression and learns healthier ones? Check. Sings amazing musical numbers? Check. Never falls in love? Check. None of the main cast have a romantic subplot! The importance is all on family and friendship! It makes this asexual very happy. Nearly kills people? Multiple times! Actually kills someone? Check. Wait, what? Elsa didn’t do that!

Yeah, let’s talk about the murder, shall we? I particularly love how this series handles revenge. Elena really, really wants to kill Shuriki, both to protect her country and to avenge her parents and herself. Her family have a debate about this. Do they argue that killing or acting in hatred and anger is always wrong? That not even the pure evil Shuriki deserves it? That it would be an irrevocable moral stain on her soul to take any life? Nope! They argue that she matters too much as the ruler to run off and attack an extremely powerful, deadly threat and it would be more effective in the bigger picture to let her royal guards do their job. Their disagreement is entirely practical. Nobody suggests that Shuriki should be forgiven or offered a second chance. When Elena later defeats Shuriki in an epic final duel, she does indeed kill her! She incinerates her with a fire spell! The narrative never shames or punishes her for this, only rewards her, and she doesn’t feel any remorse or forget to value life as a result. A Disney Junior princess commits first-degree murder in cold blood and it’s depicted completely positively. She did what she had to do and is happier and safer for it. BUT then in the next season, she really, really wants to kill Esteban because he was directly responsible for Shuriki getting to do everything she did to Avalor and its royal family, even though he initially has no malice toward anyone and just doesn’t want to be imprisoned. Her pursuing him with unnecessary aggression and coldly disowning him when he tries to make amends gradually drives him to seek power and be an actual villain to compensate for his ruined life. She’s disproportionately fixated on catching and hurting him over the greater good and her own wellbeing. This time her thirst for vengeance is negative because it harms herself and others who don’t deserve it. She’s sympathetic and understandable throughout, but not making wise or kind decisions for herself or her loved ones, like not letting Isabel to talk about her feelings on Esteban with her. In the end, she does need to forgive Esteban to save everyone and have peace. But only after he tangibly proves his change of heart by sacrificing himself for her. The NUANCE.

Also, going back to Frozen comparison, I would like to point out that if you’re sick of them, Elena of Avalor has no twist villains. But it does have an array of interesting villains who are fun to watch and can be surprisingly layered and dynamic. Victor and Carla have a natural redemption arc building off their established true love for each other. Ash loses her love for her family to become even more immoral. She essentially kills (petrifies) her husband before their daughter’s eyes. They didn’t need to go that hard, but they did. Shuriki is a sorcerer queen with classic Disney villain confidence and flair, and has the added menace that a) she literally murders Elena’s parents in front of her in her first scene and b) she’s a colonising dictator who we actually see oppressing her conquered people through realistic methods of cultural suppression and police intimidation. They didn’t need to go that hard, but they did!

Thanks for the ask!

[velvet-vox]

The horrifying humanity of Lord Shen

One of the less talked about things that help Lord Shen to be the fascinating and complex antagonist that he is are his facial expressions:

Anytime throughout the movie that Shen shows his face, we are met with an extremely detailed and eye-catching emotion, accentuated by the movie actively refusing to let us see the rest of Shen's design clearly; when you think about it, Shen is very overly designed, with the iron talons, the robe adornments, and his massive tail, yet the one thing that we are constantly paying attention to is his face.

His face is also fairly detailed, mind you, but is not the only part of his body to be like this, yet most of the time, the camera focuses only on that aspect of his appearance, and when Shen is covered in shadow, which happens a lot, the only thing that we can pay attention to is his red eyes, engulfing the rest of his body.

Shen's facial expressions do a really great job at communicating to the audience so much extra depth about his character: they give us a glimpse of his psychology and make us understand the fundamental flaws that define Shen as a person.

His expressiveness is especially noticeable when compared to the other three main villains;

Tai Lung barely emotes, except to show his anger; as a matter of fact, what I've just said is a lie, he actually has a lot of different facial expressions, especially after his escape from jail, but the thing is that we are never meant to focus on them: Tai Lung's martial prowess is the main focus of his character, so every scene he's in capitalises on it, his emotional state comes second, which helps those moments when he's actually super emotive (the fight with Tigress, Shifu's apology, his mental breakdown at the end of the movie) to hit that much harder.

The Chameleon makes a lot of different facial expressions but they don't communicate any more depth about her character; it's hard to say at this point, since I've only seen Kung Fu Panda 4 once, but if I were to take a guess, the intro sequence of the movie were The Chameleon pretends to be Tai Lung is the most depth her character ever gets in the story: she is a massive fangirl.

I'll probably have to rewatch her sequences a couple more times to make sure I'm not getting anything wrong, but as of right now, I am going to take a wild assumption and say that The Chameleon prefers her trasformations over her real self because she doesn't like herself for who she is. This is mostly unrelated to our current discussion, but since an analysis of The Chameleon is extremely far away, I might as well mention this observation now.

Kai's facial expressions give us a lot of insight into his mind, but not as much into his psychology like Shen's face does: in a way, Kai is the most emotive of the Kung Fu Panda villains, since, as we're going to see very soon, Shen keeps a lot of his emotional turmoil for himself, he doesn't want other people to understand what is going on in his mind and how actually scared of everything he is; Tai Lung also practices self-restraint but for different reasons, and The Chameleon is still yet to be fully understood by myself, but Kai is always sincere about his emotional state, he's angry when he's angry, flattered when he's flattered, and he's scared when he's scared. This doesn't mean that Kai doesn't have anymore depth that can be extrapolated from a contradiction between what he says/does and what his face says/does, it just means that Kai is someone who's very clear about his emotions, probably because he lacks the childhood trauma that defies Shen and Tai, and also because he's already dead.

Kai's inner thought process is that of a raging bull: clear as day. He doesn't have any emotional vulnerability to hide because he doesn't feel like anything can hurt him anymore, so he doesn't bother with keeping a facade since he's not afraid of anything.

Speaking of emotional state, it's time we take a look at this schizophrenic turkey's mental health and how the expressions that he makes leak out the true reason behind his seemingly unending hatred of Po.

You may now be thinking "But isn't Lord Shen's hatred of Po kinda obvious? He hates him, because he perceives him as a threat to his plans, and because he's evil and all that jazz" and while you are partially correct for that, I want to expand upon that obvious notion, and reveal why every time Shen interacts with Po he seemingly treats him like his life long arch nemesis:

You see, Lord Shen isn't just simply afraid of Po....

He's fricking paranoid of him.

Do you remember the whole training montage where Po and the Furious Five are travelling through the country to reach Gongmin City while Shen is getting ready to start the invasion?

It's a pretty cool sequence and all, especially from the perspective of the six..... but why is Lord Shen acting like that?

In KFP3, where we get a similar scene with Kai, it makes perfect sense from both the hero and the villain point of view: Kai, at this point, has been established as a massive threat to Po, so Po is keenly aware of the danger that he poses and is training like hell in order to defeat him; while Kai, who has now almost managed to destroy everything that Oogway has created, is impatient of taking out the last remaining pieces of Oogway's legacy, showcased by the angry way in which he punches the obstacles in his path to the village.

But here, while Po is simply preparing himself to fight the next big threat, Shen is going the extra mile of refining his combat prowess for an invasion that is going to be executed through the usage of gunpowder.

... A bit excessive, don't you think? This doesn't really mean much right now, but let's keep this in mind for later.

After defeating the Council of the Masters and dethroning the throne, Shen immediately asks the Soothsayer to tell him his future, but not before ensuring that his weapon is in the right position for him to continue his monologue.

Keep in mind: these two probably haven't met in 30 years, and while the true extent of their relationship is up to the fans head canons, it's pretty easy to assume that these two were probably closer at a certain point in their lives; therefore, if Shen was so eager to know his destiny to the point of not even wanting to gloat at the old goat, he must have been motivated by either one of these reasons:

A; He wanted to get this over quickly so that he could focus on something else, learning about his future and then finally getting rid of the Soothsayer;

B; Shen's brain is entirely concerned with his plans of world dominance, plans that would greatly benefit from the Soothsayer's ability of predicting the future to be completely foolproof.

C; He has been thinking of nothing else for the past 30 years.

While A is quickly disproved by a later scene where Shen let's go of the goat, B is most likely also not the answer, as despite it being the most logical course of action for the young Lord, the same scene that disproves A also denies B: why would Shen let go of his greatest source of intel? Just because he needed a way to make peace with the past? It's still possible that the thought of using the Soothsayer's magical abilities may have crossed Shen's mind, but I doubt it ever was his main concern.

No, Shen immediately started going after the answers that he sought for one and one reason only: it's been tormenting him for decades.

The way Lord Shen rehashes his monologue with his sword before meeting Po is not that of a cold, calculating mastermind making sure everything goes according to plans; it's the way a schizophrenic freak would try his hardest to keep everything under control.

Shen is in constant need of wanting everything to be how he has envisioned it, like that cannon from earlier, because otherwise he starts to crack down under the pressure.

His nervousness becomes even more apparent in the first segment of his developmental footage; even if all of these are cut scenes that were never intended to be in the movie, they reinforce the idea that the writers always intended to portray Shen as anxious in this scene.

And once Lord Shen is finally about to meet Po, he indeed starts to crack down under the pressure; Shen has feared that this day might arrive his entire life, fought so hard for this moment to not come true, and now that it's finally here, he's absolutely terrified.

Notice how Lord Shen immediately reaches for his feather-knife once he hears the big bad fat panda coming closer: even if the whole scene is played for comedic effect, you can't deny the fact that Shen is truly panicking here, the very next shot of his face right before the meeting makes you assume that Shen thinks that he's going to die.

And I believe this exact fear of death, more than anything else, is what drove Shen to commit genocide towards the Pandas, it's the true reason behind any of his actions, made worse by all of the other issues Shen has:

Lord Shen suffers from Thanatophobia.

Thanatophobia is an intense fear of death or the dying process. Another name for this condition is “death anxiety.” Those suffering from this mental health disorder might be anxious about their own death or the death of someone they care about. Psychotherapy can help most people overcome this disorder, but as you can very well imagine, there weren't many therapists in ancient China, so I doubt Shen had any concrete way of overcoming this struggle, especially in his current household, who most likely put high societal pressure on his dilapidated mind.

Here's a link to a site that better talks about this stuff. Of course, if you want to truly verify the validity of my source, I encourage you to seek out a professional, and please don't use what I tell you as proof for any real life debate.

I personally believe that diagnosing Lord Shen with Thanatophobia is the best way to put the actions of his character into perspective; the visceral way in which Shen talks to Po doesn't make a lot of sense if Shen only sees Po as a threat; no, Po is a constant nightmare looming inside his mind, and has been driving him insane for years, so now Shen wants to even the favour with the panda by slowly breaking his mind apart before he finally manages to kill him.

For Po, his conflict with Shen wasn't personal until he learned of his past, but for Shen, it was personal right from the moment he overheard the prophecy.

The complete and utter alienation of Tai Lung

[imagionationstation]

Hiya!

You can call me IS or NinjaNeko! Major ninja turtles fan! I adore 2012 turtles, but my interests lie with all the movies and series! LOVED Mutant Mayhem! Can’t wait for more!!

My favorite turtle depends on the brothers in question, but it’s usually between Raph and Donnie! My favorite sibling bond is usually Leo&Donnie, but, again, it depends! Ask whatever you like- I love chatting turtles!

DISCLAIMER: I am TERRIBLE at responding to things, but I love asks! I swear! I promise that every single one is appreciated, and I definitely intend on getting around to it!

I do a lot here nowadays, so let me fill you in!

For common tags to organize posts, check the tags below!

For a better understanding of the categories:

I’m most popular for my analyses. I tend to throw out a few rants/interpretations/descriptions on unnoticed or misunderstood aspects of turtle iterations, mainly for the 2012 gang. These guys are extremely misunderstood creatures (See what I see TMNT).

I also do Incorrect TMNT Quotes for the fandom (incorrect tmnt quotes), Tumblr Turtle story clips (ImagionationStation’s Ficlets), I make Mini Music Videos (IS TMNT MMV), post some 2012 show moments and randomly compile a full episode from a single turtle’s POV (Show Clips), and I intend to document thoughts about other shows when I have the time to watch (Turtle Comparison Notes).

I have a tag for asks (IS Asks) and a tag specifically for AUs that get dropped off in my Ask box (AU Asks). Got an AU idea that you’d like explored? As long as it’s in my comfort zone, let’s do so together!

Speaking of AUs:

Once Upon A 2012Donnie Au: Masterpost

Feral Raphie AU Blog Link: Intro

Other places to find me:

I’m on A03 and Wattpad!

I touch base on YouTube every now and then~

I share a sideblog for AUs and the like: @bringingourrealitys2life

If I see a comic scene that makes my brain explode with emotions, I’m going to want to find it again. I collect them here. Feel free to browse and see if I stumble on any that aren’t wildly popular or have yet to become so: @strictlyturtlecomics

Quick Sidenote!

I understand that the turtles have their flaws. I acknowledge that I have my flaws. I do not need you to yell these facts at me.

I reserve the right to block haters that hate for the sake of hating. If you are not willing to chat negatives without passive aggressive behavior or an open mind, I will block without hesitation.

Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful turtleful life! 💚💚

[tetsunabouquet]

Just asking, do you write for nash gold jr? If you do could you do some nsfw headcanons or a scenario?

Also I hate how shallow they made jabberwock in the movies, I know they're meant to be like the typical antagonist but I personally don't think nash is as shallow as he seems

A/N: Here is a Nash Gold Jr X Reader one-shot considering the lack of Jabberwock content! Considering there wasn't any specification about the reader's gender or the scenario being an NSFW, I wrote it female coded and non-NSFW.

Nash Gold Jr's hands were aching. After the game they lost in Japan, they had left back for the US. Silver had been rageful the entire time, and didn't seem to calm down until he beat Nash Gold Jr. Nash Gold Jr fought him, knowing he needed to vent. This wasn't the first time Silver would beat someone up, nor, would it be his last. Unless Silver were to work on his anger issues, and Nash Gold Jr did not see Silver do such a thing in the near future. So Nash Gold Jr drifted alone on the streets, preparing what to say to his mother, who undoubtedly was extremely worried for his emotional state and had probably been baking like a madwoman. She had a tendency to keep baking cakes for him to the point where the entire kitchen was bursting with an abundance of cake whenever he was sad. It was a habit she had developped ever since his father's disappearance. His father was a proud soldier who had gone missing last year. He had been sent to the conflict in Afghanistan, and neither his mother or himself, even knew whether he was still alive or not. As he reached his house, he could see your bike parked in their tiny small garden. 'Great, I should have known y/n was here to pester us.' Nash Gold Jr sighed. It had been this way too, for a while. You were his long-time study buddy. You had saved his grades countless of times. You'd noticed his mother's unstable emotional state after his father had went missing and would often help her with things around the house Even now the two of you had graduated, you had remained a pesky presence, always making sure his mother was okay. He wanted to be grateful for you, but you snapping about the risks he always put himself in was frankly annoying. 'She really should stop offering me help all the god damn time. Doesn't she have her own life?' Nash Gold Jr sighed as he went up the steps, unlocking the door with ease. "Mother, Y/n, I am home." He lazily called out as a greeting. You entered the hallway, carrying balloons in your hand and a sour, disappointed expression on your face. "We wanted to surprise you!" You whined, and Nash Gold Jr slightly melted. His mother stood in the doorway of the living room and said, "We had planned a party for you. We thought it was important to celebrate your first competition abroad, even if the second one didn't went so well." Nash Gold Jr couldn't help but smile ever so slightly. Probably your idea, to turn his mother's baking obsession into a operation. He chuckled and ruffled your hair, and as you pouted he greeted his mother, glancing into the living room to see even more balloons, decorations and a plethora of cakes, but not as many as his mother would have baked otherwise. He held his mother tightly to himself, whether to reassure her, or himself, he had no idea. "I will admit, there's some foreign potential, alright." He omitted another small sigh, and felt your hand slapping him across the back. "Well, now you know what to expect and how to prepare, right?" You asked enthusiasitcally, and Nash's slip of smile broke way for a bigger one. You always did this, you were always there to pump hope into his veins. "I hope you haven't stuffed yourself full with too many cakes already, because you're totally helping me with those," Nash said instead of telling you how much he appreciated you, but he figured you knew anyways. You always seemed to know the question to every answer. "Of course I haven't, I figured you needed my assistance. I gave any cake your mother tried feeding me over the past days to my own family so I could spare my stomach." You declared, ever so knowingly. Sometimes, when Nash dared to allow himself to think about his growing feelings for you, he couldn't help but think; 'If I am the Magician, Y/n is my Oracle.' Perhaps someday he'd say them out loud, but not now. Now, he would eat cake with you and his mom and celebrate his first opportunity to basketball overseas. His mother started blasting one of his childhood favorite songs, and began dancing in the living room as you cheered her on and Nash did feel grateful for what he had indeed.

[calculatorguitar]

so I just watched across the spider-verse for the second time (woohoo!) and I would just like to list some things that I noticed/loved about this movie!

SPOILERS!!!! 

- During the gorgeously animated Spot sequence (the first one in black and white), when the Spot is explaining to Miles that his spider came from univere 42, we can see a kid with two braids in a classroom. It’s very likely that this is the Miles we saw later on in the movie.

- Gwen’s whole world! ugh it’s just visually stunning! The way the background also factors i the emotions at play quite literally reduced me to tears. Muah muah chef’s kiss!

- I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how Miguel is different from other spider-people and I would jus like to add my two cents. Miguel IS Spider-man, but he became him in such a different way to the others. This is why he basically has to inject the spider venom (?) into himself. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have the spider sense either? In the scene where he, Gwen and Jess are fighting against the Leonardo Da Vinci Vulture, Miguel is just standing there, preaching to Gwen, while the Vulture is LITERALLY STANDING RIGHT THERE??? RIGHT BEHIND HIM??? Gwen just... doesn’t alert him about it and instead makes it a quippy joke, but it seems to me like he either doesn’t have a spider sense (a pretty significant part of being a spider-person) or it just decided not to work at that moment. Also interesting about Miguel is that his trauma has skewed his view so much that he is barely even recognisable as a Spider-man anymore. For example: he makes a giant mistake resulting in a whole universe being wiped out. Teenager unknowingly makes a mistake that could have the same result if not handled correctly. Now. How would your average run-of-the-mill Spider-man handle this? You know how he would NOT usually handle it? By BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SAID TEENAGER AT MULTIPLE DIFFERENT POINTS IN TIME. Miguel also genuinely believes that there’s a certain structure to being Spider-man. There’s certain trauma-checkpoints you have to hit in order to be Spider-man. That’s... I don’t even know what to say except that that’s really messed up. The scene where he just CAGES Miles, presumably to wait there until his dad died? That’s not how you should go about any of this!!! I mean I shouldn’t even have to say that. It’s HOW you wear the mask that matters. 

- Okay enough about Miguel (didn’t know I had that much to say about him tbh). The characters in this movie were extremely strong! The ones we got to meet all had a clear, discernible personalities. I am definitely not immunce to the comic relief characters and I have gained new favourite characters in Hobie and Pavitr (like p much everyone else lol)

- Miles. Miles I’m so. Wow. He’s not eve real but I’m so proud of him. I nearly bawled when he tried to “come out” as Spider-man, while I had already figured out that he was in the wrong universe. Just. God. This poor boy. He was lierally going to study quantum physics so he could see his friends again only to find out that they had the chance to do exactly that this whole time and just chose not to. It was a gutpunch when it was revealed they knew that his dad was going to die this whole time. My heart was audibly beating for him the entire last 50 minutes of the movie, that’s how anxious it all made me.

I have so much more to say about all of it, but this post is already the longest I’ve ever made so I’m just gonna cut it short for now. I would love to hear all of your thoughts on this! This is just what I got from the movie, but I’m sire I could have misinterpreted some thing, so please do tell me what you all think!

[penultimate-step]

Oshi no Ko 144 Reaction

After the big climax of last chapter, jumping straight into a more everyday, less tense situation is a bit jarring. I know this was done intentionally, I can see what they're trying to do here, but the part of my brain that craves the short term rush, the part of me that is desperate for answers and for the twins to actually start talking amongst themselves more and finally got a taste of it last chap is hungry....I know it needs to be pushed off for pacing reasons. I Know. But it does hurt a bit. Reading serially published works is hard.

Anyway. So the big theme of the movie arc is taking a look at how people are viewed in the eyes of others, right? That's why we have this whole setup of a movie within a manga - Ai's life, her real thoughts and personality, cannot be recovered. Even we, the semi-omniscient audience, aren't actually getting real flashbacks at her life, but rather her life filtered through the extremely biased eyes of Aqua (and Gotanda) with edits for marketability made by people who never knew her, like Abiko and Yoriko. This movie is likely going to become the definitive version of Ai for the general public, millions of people who never spoke to her at all - to those with no connection to someone beyond knowing their image, the constructed self is all that exists. The fact that this arc is the backdrop that we place Ruby's infatuation with Gorou is fairly intentional, I think, and if I wasn't 100% confident in that before than I absolutely am after last chap.

Which leads us into 144 - right after we had the dramatic chapter in which Ruby talks about how she views Gorou to Aqua himself, telling him that she sees him as a fan sees an idol, we cut directly to how Gorou is being portrayed in the movie. Melt and Ruby are both constructing images of of Gorou, but for very different purposes - while she cares for him and wants to idolize him, Melt is aware he never knew him, and is coming up with his interpretation solely for work purposes. This is the direct contrast being explored in this chapter - the different ways of seeing someone's image.

Ruby gets upset when what she sees as Gorou's charm points are not being fully expressed, that the movie's view of him won't match hers. Gorou needs to be painted in the best possible light, so that everybody else will share her image of him.

This is very amusing to me, considering that Gorou himself, as Aqua, couldn't even match up to her image of Gorou before she was outright told that it was him, but let's put a pin on that for now.

Melt, on the other hand, has no personal or emotional attachment here. He isn't trying to glorify Gorou, nor slander him, nor even really get to know him. For him, The Doctor is a role, a story, a character.

This is why he refers to the pin as a "character symbol," while he is doing his best to get a feel for Gorou thirdhand, his priority is not the man, but the role. He papers over gaps in his knowledge with story tropes, things that would work best for the narrative of the movie. From the perspective of an actor, this is probably the correct way to go about things. Abiko and Yoriko are probably satisfied with his interpretation of the role. But for Ruby, who has a personal investment, his image is not the same as her image.

(as an unrelated side note, this bit was funny. I can't believe they're having an adaptation vs source material debate about RPF of Aqua of all people.)

Ruby comes around to Melt not because of any change in him or his acting, or because she approves of his interpretation of Gorou, but because he starts talking about her:

Ruby accepts Melt's interpretation because so long as it maintains the connection between them, this is the most important element for her; she is satisfied. Her opinion of Melt then does a 180, just as her opinion of Aqua did in chapter 123.

This is where I will uncork the pin from before and say - one thing that I am kind of unsure about is what Ruby's image of Gorou actually is, at this point. Usually she seems to see him wholly positively, dissociating all of her criticisms about his behavior from the image she is idolizing. But last chap she started talking about his flaws, so she clearly knows at least some of them...but here she's right back to talking about his radiant inner strength. Leaves me a bit uncertain where she stands. However, I'm not the only one - I think she herself doesn't fully understand her own image of Gorou right now, to be honest.

Also, side note: the way Melt's "Gorou" act in this chap parallels Aqua's own in 143 was super cute.

But after thinking about that for a bit, I realized that it's deeper than a cute shot. while the movie arc has been giving more focus on Ruby's view of people than Aqua's, there's the interesting side note simmering in the background that Aqua, too, has a constructed image of Gorou at this point - even if he actually IS him, it's been over 20 years since he's been Sarina's doctor. Ruby, Melt, and Aqua all have very different ideas of who Gorou was - and none of them match the man himself.

I don't have very much to say about the last third of the chapter tbh. The supernatural elements of this story very much confuse me, I am not sure where they are going or what it's doing and don't feel confident speculating anything. Crow Girl is a cool character and I want to see more of her, but I suspect I'll appreciate her a lot more if I reread the series once it's done and we actually know what her deal is.

Overall, solid chapter, I think does a good bit to contrast and deepen our understanding of Ruby's views, and even if part of me really wants them to narrow in the focus on the twins a bit more after last time, I am content to let Aka keep cooking.