#i am hot and sexy and smart and very literally good at everything

[starneko123]

Just a crumb, a very small crumb of content of my oc and Cooper before I release the headcanon on them and the story…hooray!

Cooper: The plans have changed for tonight so we are moving and you are coming with me.

Josephine: Am I being kidnapped?

Cooper: No of course not.

Josephine: Can I leave?

Cooper: No.

Cooper Adams: You didn't do any of that stuff I know it. Don't worry it's not your fault.

Josephine Truman *after realizing he's The Butcher*: You're right. Its not my fault…IT'S YOUR FAULT!

Josephine Truman *mentions something only The Butcher would know*: You're getting hung up on the wrong details.

Cooper Adams: You are the one who brought it up in the first place.

Josephine Truman: Stop turning everything back on me—stop being such a cunt.

Cooper Adams: What?

Josephine Truman: What? Wassup?

Josephine: My crush isn't picking up on my hints.

Cooper: What hints have you given them?

Josephine: Well I think about them a lot and for some odd reason I even think about talking to them.

Cooper: You're so funny!

Josephine: We have 1492 days until you more than likely end up in a high-security prison. You will break my trust a good three times before that happens, but I forgive you.

Cooper *eye twitching from nervousness*: Um, how sweet.

Cooper: I think I'm falling for you.

Josephine: Then get up.

Cooper: Josephine is playing hard to get. Little does she know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Cooper: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Josephine: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because l've obviously gone crazy.

Josephine: You're not jealous, are you?

Cooper: No!

Josephine: Good, 'cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful.

Cooper: Are you trying to seduce me?

Josephine: Why, are you seducible?

Cooper: I think we should kiss.

Josephine: And I think you should die but we don't always get what we want.

Cooper: Cause your pretty and your smart, and your ignoring me so your obviously my type.

Josephine, who was distracted: I'm sorry-what were you saying?

Cooper: Perfect.

*Josephine is crying after a breakup* Cooper Adams: There there, Josephine.

Josephine, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my apartment?

Cooper: Great question.

Cooper: That was so hot, Josephine.

Josephine: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Cooper: I'm so in love with you.

Josephine: Are you ready to commit?

Cooper: Like, a crime or a relationship?

Cooper: You have to apologize to them, Josie.

Josephine: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

Josephine: Look, last night was a mistake.

Cooper: A sexy mistake.

Josephine: No, just a regular mistake.

Josephine: Bro-

Cooper: No, no, hold up, rewind. My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro?

Josephine: It's more of a habit if anything and you are being very hormonal.

Cooper: I want to kiss you.

Josephine, not paying attention: What?

Cooper: I said if you die, I won't miss you.

Josephine: So if I was murdered by The Butcher you wouldn't care?

Cooper: You aren't worth the time.

Josephine: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why l have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Cooper: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Josephine: You have little to no morals, Cooper. That's a problem.

Cooper: You catch on fast.

Cooper: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Josephine: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*

Cooper: That one. I want that one.

Josephine: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Cooper: Okay.

Josephine: And make out during the scary parts.

Cooper: Th-

Cooper: The scary parts.

Cooper: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Josephine: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Cooper: I wrote you a poem.

Josephine, already crying: You did?

Josephine: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Cooper: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Josephine: Stop.

Josephine: Wow, Cooper Adams, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Cooper: We literally slept together yesterday.

Josephine: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 294: Political Rally

This rally is…so great. I am so glad Josie brought me. She, her mom, a bunch of her mom’s friends…they have been to a bunch of these. The election is Tuesday, so this is a big one. So many women! We are taking up, like, all of downtown. No way can they ignore us, we are going to win. Everyone is voting for women, even lots of the men.

‘No, Lakshmi, you cannot go!’ my father had said. He even grabbed my shoulder, as I was walking out this morning. Ahhhh haha I had never done this before but I slapped him away. I left without another word, but I could see the look on his face. He is scared. Haha he is scared.

It is raining but no one cares, we are all so, like, energized. The speakers, now that we are all assembled, after the marches that all met up here in the city center, are very very inspiring. All the candidates for the women’s party - local, state, federal - they are all here. They told us what we can do, on Tuesday. They explained what is going to happen afterwards, when we win. They showed us what life will be like, how it will be different immediately and then a year from now, ten years from now. Omigod. A hundred years from now.

They have had it coming to them, I see it now, for a long long time.

One of the speakers, a professor from Westhall, explained it like this, told our story. A bunch of years ago, like when I was a girl, way before high school, boys had already been hypnotized by the internet, by their phones, by virtual games and fantasy, porn. The technology made it so they could do everything through their screens: school, work, play, jerk off. For women, too, yes, the opportunities were there. But we were different. The boys literally spent all their time in front of their computers. Every year more and more males - of all ages - became addicted to those games and the porn and they became anemic, weaker due to the lack of physical activity. They spent most of their time playing their stupid games, neglecting studies and sports and jobs. They started to fail, intellectually, socially, in their careers. They began neglecting their wives, they were not dating as much.

But women, on the other hand, had started to hit the gyms, to meet their friends and chat, and plan. The more the husbands played games or masturbated, the more the wives worked out, went to classes, got good jobs, made money, set it aside. Donated to causes. It did not seem to bother men that their wives and girlfriends really enjoyed going to the gym, or reading, spending all this time bettering themselves. Firstly, without them around, the men could spend more time on their games, or with their porn, alone, without a girly voice telling them to stop. Secondly, the women started to be more fit and toned and muscular…hot, right? Men were learning to appreciate it, and being a strong woman was coming into fashion. And as the women got smarter, guys started to realize that smart is sexy too, so why complain? They really enjoyed that their wives were becoming more and more healthy, more and more learned, more and more successful. Great if someone else was making the money, now. More time to relax, for us. They actually encouraged their wives and girlfriends to continue. Get bigger and stronger, get smarter and get that big promotion. We’ll see you later…but what’s for dinner?

Women continued to take care of their men, they did. They wanted them to be good partners. They encouraged them, as much as they could, to eat the right way. The new vogue became, for men, training schedules and diets that were planned to prevent any growth or strength development. “Vulni-chic” was in. Softer men, smaller men, thinner men. The ones who worked to reduce their muscle mass, the lean guys were considered the sexier ones. And if you were short, too? Hubba Hubba. The more meager, the better. You’d look good on our strong, toned arm as we strode next to you in our tall heels. 

Boys were now growing up wanting to be thinner, weaker. Sickly was, haha,  something to which to aspire. The new generations of girls coming along, in contrast, were going to be healthier than any before them. With hard training and better food, they were growing naturally tall and strong, while the boys were being left behind, happy to eat the junk food their moms served them. Guys continued to be more and more attracted by virtual games, where they could waste their waning testoterone fighting huge, strong opponents or fucking sexy girls (or, as some of the newer games allowed, fucking huge, strong girls), completely ignoring their wives, not realising they were becoming as sexy and smart and powerful as the virtual girls dancing on their screens. Recently, as male membership dwindled, mixed gyms have begun to disappear, being replaced by 'women only’ facilities. Some colleges have gone back to female-only enrollment. Many companies are hiring in similar ways.

“You're either growing with us…” the speaker continued, from the podium, as if addressing every man on the planet, “or you’re being outgrown by us!!”

As women were becoming more and more attractive, as men’s tastes had shifted to being drawn to more powerful women, some men had started to realize that real life could be as enjoyable as their games. These are the ones that are going to help on Tuesday, in the election. The balance of power will finally forever change and - though there will be complaining - women are not going to accept an about-face in society. We are on our way and we are not going to be stopped. The world is already slowly becoming a matriarchal society, and now it is our turn to fully take the reins.

“By order of the Girl Army,” said the next speaker; a leader of a group of young women who had formed a loosely knit but enormous, nationwide group, “get out and vote!!”

I am voting for the future!

=========================================

Patreon

[jade-kyo]

RvB 20th rewatch: s9

This isn’t one of my favorite seasons but alas I still have a good time with it

Church dramatically monologuing to himself and restarting when he gets interrupted is so real bro just like me fr

NORTH AND SOUTH!!!!!

Honestly I know this is quite literally the point but the leaderboard is INSANE like you’re fighting a war and trying to come up with any means to win and you take your god damn super soldiers and make them fight each other for approval. Absolutely DERANGED.

CAROLINA!!!!! MY BABYGIRL!!!!

Also love how she’s introduced as camouflaged and in black armor to parallel Tex

“Sorry about the mess fellas” I LOVE HER I LOVER HER I LOVE HER SO FUCKING MUCH SHES SO SILLY LET HER BE SILLY!!!!!

Man the game has these little flashy lights on the armor and once you notice it it’s so distracting lol

NORTH YOU BADASS!!!!!!! AND THE FACE REVEAL ALSHKAHSKDHKSJSK

G o d this music is so good

GOD THE LEADERBOARD IS DERANGED

Man Carolina cares about her team- she immediately offers to talk to South…

So the freelancers are just the reverse of the reds and blues. They start out as allies and friends and slowly become enemies and backstab each other all in the name of becoming the best

Meanwhile the reds and blues start out as enemies and try to kill each other regularly and end up coming together over time both because they genuinely come to care about each and because they’re losers who need each other to survive cause they’re not capable of doing so on their own

CT!!!!!!

CT really was the only one smart enough to see through the leaderboard bullshit

OMG TUCKER TEACHING ABOUT GIRLS AKHSKAJS THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE BITS IN THE SHOW ITS SO FUNNY

I think Caboose is the only person here that actually gets bitches

“I have been preparing for this role my whole life”

Feminist Caboose

“I think the working class should uprise against the rich people” Church you are a treasure

GOD THIS ENTIRE BIT HAS SO MANY GOOD MOMENTS

Wait…. Is Grif yellow?? It may just be the lighting or something but he looks really yellow this season… IS GRIF YELLOW BECAUSE CHURCH REMEMBERS HIM WRONG OMG AKSHKAHSKDJ

Tucker really the one to call out Church for constantly bringing Tex back and how absolutely wild that is

TEX!!!!!!! GOD SHES SO PERFECT AND HOT AND SEXY

Carolina cares so much I’m gonna vomit

I wonder what drunk Caboose would be like

Not even a minute and Chex already has the divorced vibes

The andersmith bit is also one of my favorites

AND THE COW BIT

Alpha…auogagahh

“Andersmith, I kept my promise… you have been avenged…” Caboose you are a treasure

Yorkalina you will always be famous to me

“Probably the sound of you being an idiot” // “oh yeah… dick biscuit” quoted line

JINKIES ITS SHARKFACE

“Shut up counselor” that was a very Church moment…

FALLIIIING TOWAAAARDS THE SKYYYYY

Wash is so silly

Tex is so fucking sexy

CAROLINA IS SO FREAKING PRETTY ALSHLAHSLSHKD

ANDY!!!!!

“Yeah I know how to lift jackass I’ve been carrying this entire team since I got here”

DELTA!!!!!

Agony

I am in agony

Chex my beloved

“I forget you”

Kill me

Church fr better than me I would not be able to let go of a hottie like Tex

CABOOSE IS GOD

I do wonder how if Church knew that it was a rescue and not the end of the world if he would’ve made a different decision

“You’ve given me everything, I would do anything for you” agony

CAROLINA AND CHURCH MY BELOVED

I enjoyed this season way more than I remember enjoying it in the past- but now onto season 10… god I love season 10

[shytastemakerthing]

hi!! may i request a matchup for ensemble stars and twisted wonderland? ^_^

i’m a pretty chill and lowkey individual. i’m usually very tolerant of other people and hardly anything angers me as i’m very patient and tolerant of other people even if they bother me. i have an unhealthy habit of ignoring and burying my negative emotions before they surface, and i also struggle to identify my true personality as it is locked behind the many masks i’ve put up due to my constant people pleasing. i secretly wish to be able to freely express myself and my opinions since i often hold myself back and am agreeable with other people even if i internally disagree. i have also been known to be a very smart and talented person who easily picks things up however i do not apply myself due to my lack of passion and low self esteem, so i usually frustrate people for wasting my potential. my hobbies are cosplaying, which i’m not too open about, and i also enjoy anything related to science and STEM and researching topics or theories i find interesting. i usually express my interest in someone by engaging in playful banter and i enjoy being teased even if i am very quick to fluster. i do not like people who are judgmental and rigid or emotionally volatile as i feel very pressured around them and am less likely to be comfortable acting like myself. i believe that’s all i have to say, thank you so much! :]

A/N: Thank you very much for your request! This honestly took off more than I thought that it would! This one will be the TWST matchup and then the Ensemble stars will be on a separate post. It may take some time to get to that one as I want to go through the other requests in my inbox first so they aren't waiting so long😊.

Honorable mentions for your TWST matchup include, Idia, Leona, and Trey!

I match you with......

Cater Diamond

• Okay, you guys vibe on an all new wavelength that you leave everyone else around your baffled and stunned, it's insane. Especially when it comes to the personality that you bith share. Keeping everything inside, hot letting people see and know the real you, and keeping things bottled in. Honestly, you two hit it right off the bat.

• It honestly didn't take Cater very long to figure out that you were like him in your own way, and with that, he felt understood when he was with you, almost as if he didn't have to keep on the mask of a carefree and happy student who could care less about anything when we, as an audience (as we have seen in some of his story), that it's quite the opposite.

• Not that it didn't mean to guys had smooth sailing the entire time. It took work and effort to build this relationship up, letting walls come down, in private, and getting to know and trust one another. But, once you both have gotten to that point within the relationship, it's rather a beautiful sight to anyone who sees the two of you #couplesgoals.

• Speaking of relationship, it was a rather funny story, you hith quite literally asked each other at the same time. The whole wanting to talk to each other in private, then talking over one another and urging the other to continue before it just came out. It made for good laughs and two very happy people.

• You're a cosplayer, no matter how much you are open about it, and you have a raging social media crazed boyfriend who can and will hype you up over every little thing. He would love to be able to see you dressed up and do a photo shoot of you to post something onto his Magicam. But, he will totally keep all of these pics private in a folder for only the of you to see if that is what you prefer. He will NEVER post any photo of you on his account unless if he has your exact, in words, permission to do so (consent is sexy, everyone!)

• If he DOES get permission to post any pictures of you or the both of you just doing whatever, because I totally see him as having a whole bunch of couples photos and goals moments littering his feed, you guys are a sensation. Pretty much everyone loves the both of you and the happiness that you bring one another! You guys have become the new media sensation of pure couples goals.

• Cater can be a pretty playful guy, especially where you are involved. He only wants to see tour happiness, real and true happiness, so he will never do or say anything at your expense. If there is any form of playful teasing, he is careful about it and backs off the moment that he sees it may be starting to get to you. And this involves protecting you from the teasing of others, no matter what anyone else says. The moment he sees you closing off and walls going up, he is there to remove you from thr situation as soon as possible.

• Even with a crazy day, he enjoys the calm and quiet moment that he gets to spend with you at the end of the day. He would take you to his dorm, both of you in your most comfortable clothes and he has the spice Ramen and anything else you'd like to eat ready. He loves being able to hold onto you, brush through your hair, he even uses his unique magic to create his clones to help. He's never been this happy before in his life.

• Overall, you're the reason he smiles now. No longer having to plaster one on and go about his day hiding. Because he doesn't have to hide when it comes to you. And every moment he gets to see you and ti spend time with you is a reminder that he really can be happy, and he will do anything to help ensure that same happiness for you.

[kitkatwinchester]

WHAT THE F*CK WHAT THE F*CK WHAT THE F*CK!!

THERE'S SO MUCH TO UNPACK ABOUT THAT PARTY SCENE AND MY BRAIN IS FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS WITH SO MANY DIFFERENT EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW AND WHAT THE F*CK WHAT THE F*CK WHAT THE F*CK?!

Okay uh...good stuff first? Bad stuff first??

How about sort of backwards order of events because the bad and good stuff kind of go hand in hand sometimes, but it started good and I wanna end this post mostly happy.

LEAVE LYDIA ALONE I SWEAR TO GOD WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS PLEASE GO AWAY!

They literally took her scream?? Wtf?? WHO ARE THEY?! WHAT ARE THEY?! WHY CAN THEY DO THAT?! WHY ARE THEY HURTING OUR PACK?!

AND WHERE IS ETHAN AND WHY HASN'T ANYONE NOTICED HE'S MISSING YET?!

That said, can we appreciate EVERYTHING about Lydia leading up to that moment?

"*looks at Allisaac* Ugh, finally. *looks at Stiles* Awkwardly. *looks at Aiden* Predictably."

I love this girl so much and she is VERY quickly making her way up on the favorite characters list. She's just so observant and so clever and smart and knows all of her friends so well and I just...I love her.

Also can we talk about the fact that when she heard/saw the whatever-the-f*cks they are, she immediately called out for Scott? Like, I just...why does that make my heart clench so much? Ahhh this little pack family I love them and I need them all to be okay.

Speaking of Scott...

WE WERE SO CLOSE!! He and Kira were HOLDING HANDS! They were SO CLOSE! Their faces practically touched TWICE! It was SO CUTE!!

I have never been SO MAD to see Allison I swear to god.

And why did she look at him like that?? Like she was somehow offended by the fact that he was with another girl. YOU'RE BASICALLY WITH ANOTHER GUY ("ANOTHER WEREWOLF?!" XD) ALLISON! STOP IT!

And I feel so bad for Kira, because Scott couldn't help the way his eyes caught Allison and he stared, but then can we just talk about the fact that he then immediately tried to find her again using his Alpha eyes, and then when he spotted her, and she was surrounded in her little firey halo thing (and...some sort of animal figure? Yeah she's a LOT like Scott--THIS IS WHY THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER GOSH DARNAT!) he looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen?

PLEASE MAKE SCIRA CANON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CAN'T TAKE THESE SLOW BURNS! XD

Speaking of slow burns...

"Finally" is right, Lydia. As annoyed as I was at the gazes that Scott and Allison exchanged, that scene between Allison and Isaac was pure gold.

Like, okay, first of all, my heart clenched at Isaac's "I don't like keeping things from Scott". WE LOVE HIS LOYALTY TO HIS ALPHA LET'S GO!

But then Allison calling him with the whole "except for that one unspoken thing between us that we don't talk about, 'cause you definitely haven't told him about that" attitude.

THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER TOO GOSH DARNAT!

And then like, okay, usually, super sexual couples are not my thing. The asexual in me gets a little uncomfy and would much prefer soft, cute love to hot, sexy love.

But something about Allisaac dude...I am HERE for.

I mean...

"Do you want to talk about Scott, or do you want to paint my body?" "I wanna paint your body."

THAT WAS SO PERFECT I LOVE THEM!!

This is one of the few hot and sexy couples I will allow, because it works SO WELL for both of them. I love it. <3 <3

Anyways SOMEONE SAVE LYDIA!! SCOTT PLEASE TELL ME YOU HEARD HER!!

AND SAVE ETHAN WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!!

AHHHHH I HATE THIS!!

JUST LET ME ENJOY THE CUTE MOMENTS WITHOUT THE BAD ONES PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

(A set of Lydia gifs this time because she has been particularly wonderful these last couple of episodes and I am very quickly turning into a hardcore Lydia stan. <3 <3 <3)

[bitegore]

being able to catch your fucked up mentol eelness thoughts when they happen not being able to tell that they're fucked up except from an outsider pov is so genuinely weird. like, i'm used to them being from shit like anxiety or depression or random hallucinations which i thought were normal until like last year and those all have a particular flavor, that like. makes them wrong. you know? like you can tell something is wrong.

i got really upset with a friend the other day and was talking to someone else about it, not shit talking them, just. talking, you know? to get the feelings out, because i knew it was in confidence and i didn't particularly want it to go anywhere and it was that or spit my brain on tumblr or twitter the way i do. and midway through my friend was like "uh dude these statements make no sense" and like. i blinked and went oh yeah okay that was deeply uncharitable. maybe true, maybe not, but uncharitable. and like it wasn't even true, honestly, after i sat for a while it didn't really make that much sense, and my friend also pointed that out, but like- i spent quite a while sitting on the bpd dsm-5 page going "well shit, i do all of this but the splitting, huh" and nope! no, i apparently very much do do that! i just literally can't tell because it just feels like being annoyed and uncharitable, and then when i'm back to baseline i am like "wow i was really pissed off and uncharitable earlier but now i'm good and that was incorrect" and like. huh

how am i supposed to stop doing something i can't even tell i'm doing?

[waitimcomingtoo]

Dress

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peter sees you in a dress for the first time

Masterlist

“Hi, Petey.” You greeted your boyfriend as you walked into his room. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he sat at his desk and kissed his cheek.

“Hi.” Peter said before looking up. When he finally tore himself away from his notes, his jaw dropped at the sight of you in a dress.

“Woah.” He mumbled quietly.

“What?”

“You...you’re wearing a dress.” He said as a smile broke through on his lips.

You gulped and looked down at your dress, acting as if it hadn’t been on your mind since the moment you put it on. You never wore dresses, or really anything that showed off you body. There was a certain comfort you found in baggy clothes that left absolutely everything to the imagination. If no one could see, no one could judge, and that’s how you liked it.

“Oh, yeah.” You pretended to notice the dress for the first time. “I am.”

“I’ve never seen you in a dress before.” Peters smile grew. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve seen you in anything but black jeans or sweats.”

“Yeah, well.” You shrugged shyly. “It’s a little hot for those.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, but he was barely listening. “Have you always had that dress?”

“Yeah. I just never wear it.”

“Why not?” He asked as if it was crazy.

“I don’t know.” You chuckled at his behavior. “It’s a little revealing, don’t you think?”

“No.” He said immediately. “No, um, I think it’s perfect.”

“What?” You laughed in surprise. “You do?”

“How have I never seen this before?” Peter tugged on the bottom of the dress as he admired it. “How come you don’t wear this everyday?”

“Are you playing with me right now?” You asked skeptically.

“No.” Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t look that good.”

“Baby, with all due respect, you have never been more wrong.” Peter insisted as he got out of his chair. “You literally look perfect.”

“What?” You laughed again. “No I don’t.”

“Yes you do. Like, holy shit.” Peter put his hand on his chest and blew out a breath. “I have to sit down.”

Peter collapsed on the bed and took a deep breath, never taking his eyes off you in your dress.

“You have to be messing with me right now.” You shook your head in disbelief.

“I’m not. I’m just speechless. Give me a minute.” He requested as he stood back up. He took his time looking you up and down, admiring every inch of you in the dress.

“You’re speechless over the dress?” You raised an eyebrow. “It’s not even that cute. And you can see my stretch marks.”

“I know.” He sighed dreamily. “Oh my God. I can’t breathe.”

“What? They’re so ugly.” You insecurely squeezed your thighs together to hide the marks.

“Ugly?” Peter asked. “They’re like perfect little brushstrokes on the worlds most beautiful canvas.”

“No they’re not.” You said quietly.

“Um, yes they are.” Peter scoffed. “Don’t you know texture is what adds to the price of a painting?”

“Don’t be a smart ass.” You told him. You were already insecure about the dress, and Peter joking about it was only making it worse for you.

“I’m not.” Peter said sincerely. “Baby, how do you not see what I see? You look like an angel.”

“No I don’t.” You disagreed. “I probably look so stupid in this.”

“You do look stupid.” He nodded. “Stupid hot.”

“Stop.” You couldn’t help but smile.

“Stupid sexy?” He asked. “Is that better?”

“No.” You answered as you fought a smile. You folded your arms over your chest to try to cover yourself up, feeling more vulnerable than usual in your lack of clothing.

“Don’t cover up, please.” Peter requested as he gently moved your arms away from yourself. “I want to see the full picture.”

“The full picture has marks and scars and bumps and whatever the hell else is wrong with my body.” You mumbled as you looked down at your body.

“Wrong? Are we looking at the same body?” Peter asked. “Because I see nothing but perfection.”

“My body is not perfect.” You told him in an unamused tone.

“Your honor, she’s lying.” Peter said as he looked around.

“I’m not.” You laughed and poked his chest. “You are. You’re acting like a have a nice body when we both know I don’t. I shouldn’t have worn the dress. I don’t have the right body for it.”

Peter stared at you for a moment, realizing your feelings went deeper than just the dress. He frowned a little as a sadness clouded his brown eyes.

“Come here.” He said suddenly as he brought you over to his mirror. He stood behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting you rest your back on him.

“Would you look at someone else with this body and call them ugly?” He asked quietly as he stared at you in the mirror. You stared back at him as you slowly realized what he was doing.

“No.” You said finally. “I wouldn’t.”

“So why would you say those things about yourself?”

“I don’t know.” You said quietly.

“That’s okay.” Peter told you. “It’s a process, learning to love yourself. And the hardest step is always going to be step one.”

You tried to move away from the mirror, feeling insecure as you stared at your reflection, but Peter kept you in place.

“I love your body.” Peter stated. “I love it because it’s warm when you lay down beside me. And it wraps around me when I’m sad. I also love the way it looks in this dress.”

You stayed quiet as Peter listed a few more things he loved about your body. You stared at yourself as he described what he loved, trying your best to see what he saw.

“We are so lucky to have bodies, you know?” Peter said softly. “Our bodies hold us upright and keep us together. And our bodies allow us to hug people when we love them and jump when we’re happy and let feel warmth and pain and pleasure and all that good stuff. Don’t be mean to your body. It’s not mean to you.”

“This dress may have pulled a philosopher out of you.” You said as a smile broke through your lips.

“Maybe.” Peter chuckled before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Be nicer to yourself, okay? For me?”

“I’ll try.” You told him, and you meant it.

“Thank you.” He smiled. “Now could you do me a favor and tell yourself that you’re beautiful?”

“I don’t wanna.” You whined and put your hands over his.

“Just once.” He promised. “I want to hear you say it. Even if you don’t mean it, just say it.”

You looked at him for a long time in the mirror before letting out a sigh. Finally, you looked at yourself and gave yourself a weak smile.

“I’m beautiful.”

“Wow. So conceited.” Peter clicked his tongue.

“Peter.” You whined again.

“I’m kidding.” He kissed your cheek again. “I agree. You are beautiful. Don’t forget that.”

You smiled at Peter in the mirror before craning your neck to look at him.

“I won’t.” You promised. “I just need a reminder sometimes.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He told you. “Now, what other outfits have you been hiding from me?”

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[scuttling]

(Not So) Casual Friday

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 4,456 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch (it's not a main component but he very much has the tummy here), Pining, Accidentally admitting attraction, Embarrassment, A little angst, Oral sex, Protected sex Summary: Your best friend Derek finds out about your feelings for Hotch and teases you mercilessly. You can manage it, though, until the first ever Casual Friday, when Hotch shows up to work in a black polo and jeans and you kind of ruin everything. Or maybe you don't? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Okay, girlie, today’s the day,” Derek says when you set your bag and coffee cup on your desk on Monday morning. You shoot your best friend a tired smile and wonder for the—you’ve worked at the BAU for almost two years, so it’s probably the 500th time—for the 500th time why he has to be such a morning person when you would prefer not to have a conversation until at least 10 AM.

“Today’s the day for what?” you sigh, asking out of obligation, because it’s obvious that’s what he’s waiting for; he smiles, picks up your coffee and hands it to you, which must mean you sound bitchy. You take a grateful sip, close your eyes and exhale through your nose.

“For you to admit to me that you’re in love with Hotch.”

You spit out your coffee—only all over yourself, which is great, wouldn’t want to inconvenience Derek at all—and then cough so hard he has to thump on your back to help clear your airway.

It draws some attention; Hotch comes out of his office, takes a look at the two of you and probably regrets hiring the both of you, then walks down the stairs to make sure you’re okay.

“What happened? You’re wet,” he says a bit gruffly, looking at the coffee all over your chest and sleeves. You glare over at Derek, who’s clearly trying not to laugh.

“Derek made me spill my coffee.” You grab a handful of tissues off your desk and pat at the wet spot, trying to soak up the worst of it, but it’s not salvageable. You’ll have to change your shirt.

“And then you… choked on it?” Hotch asks, to clarify. Derek does laugh at that; the things Hotch is saying happen to have dual meanings, slightly sexual, and now that Derek knows—thinks he knows—about your thing for Hotch, it’s clear he finds it all so hilarious. He’s a twelve year old boy in a grown man’s body.

“Okay, I didn’t spill, I spit,” you correct, looking up at them, and Derek makes an exaggerated face of disapproval.

“Should have swallowed,” he says, trying to sound serious, and you shoot him an irritated look and reach out to slap him in the chest. Asshole.

“Do you need help getting cleaned up?” Hotch’s expression is kind, sweet, but you’d sooner die than have him blot coffee off of your boobs. It would be mortifying, especially in front of Derek.

“No, no, I think I’m okay. Thanks,” you add with a soft smile, and then you reach up and pull your sweater over your head, unzip your go bag, and search for another top.

For some reason, Hotch has a coughing fit scarily similar to the one you just had, and you turn to pat his back like Derek did for you.

“Are you alright?” you ask, looking up into his face, and he nods despite his watering eyes.

“Fine,” he croaks, and he leaves as quickly as he came. You sigh, because it’s not even nine and your day has already been so weird.

You’re wearing a tank top, and thankfully the coffee didn’t get through to that layer, so it’s quick and easy to throw another lightweight sweater over top of it; you ball up the wet one, shove it in the dirty clothes portion of your bag, zip it up and stash it under your desk. Derek looks like he’s having the best day of his life.

“You realize you just undressed in front of Hotch,” he says with a tone you don’t appreciate. You roll your eyes.

“I did not. I had a tank top on underneath.” You almost always wear an undershirt, because you’ve been a cop long enough to know that sometimes your clothes get torn or messed up in the line of duty, and you’re not trying to offer a free show while taking down an unsub. Derek wiggles his eyebrows, points at your chest.

“Yeah, one that put those little boobies on display. His eyes bulged out of his head like a cartoon character.” This time, you punch him in the arm, hard. It’s too goddamn early for this.

“Can you please shut up already? I don’t have a thing for Hotch.”

“Ah, I didn’t say you had a thing, I said you’re in love with him. And I have evidence; lots of it.” You tip your head back, groan, wondering what you did to deserve a best friend who is also such a pain in the ass, and it’s that moment that Hotch chooses to rejoin you; he looks a little flushed, probably from the coughing earlier.

“Uh. We have a case; I know not everyone is here yet, but you can head up to the briefing room, I’ll grab the others when they arrive.”

“Sure thing, sir,” you say easily, grabbing your tablet and what’s left of your coffee; you gesture for Derek and he follows, laughing and shaking his head. “Okay, what is it now? I’m so glad you find me entertaining today.”

“‘Sure thing, sir,’” he says with a high, breathy voice you assume is supposed to mimic yours. “You want his dick so bad.” You narrow your eyes at him as you head upstairs.

“Uh, because I was being respectful? I know that’s a foreign concept for you, the world’s biggest asshole, but you don’t have to read anything into it.” You take your usual seats at the table, pull up the note-taking app on your tablet, and Derek sits back, crosses his arms behind his head.

“Well you’re not calling me ‘sir’, and I’m the sexiest piece in the office, so it’s hard not to read into it.” You look over at him, elbow on the table, chin in the palm of your hand.

“Sexy is subjective, and you don’t do it for me, sorry to break it to you.” He scoffs, laughs, and you laugh too because you both know you see each other as brother and sister, buddies, and fellow former cops, and absolutely nothing else.

“Yeah, I get it, only Hotch does it for you; he’s not my type, but I can see how a young lady like yourself could be drawn to his brooding exterior.”

“I’m not drawn to his exterior!” you practically growl, and then you’re joined by Spencer and JJ.

“Good morning. What’s going on with you two?” JJ asks, loading up the monitors for the debriefing, her eyebrows raised.

“She’s in love with Hotch,” Derek says completely nonchalantly, and you rest your head on the table, on top of your forearms, and sigh.

“She’s what?” JJ’s whole face lights up, and you seriously regret everything.

“I’m not in love with anybody!” you mumble against your arms, and then you sit up, because you’re clearly going to have to defend yourself. “And I’d appreciate it if you quit saying that I am.”

“I told you I have evidence,” Derek reminds you, leaning back in his chair a little. One swift kick would have him toppling ass over tea kettle, but you’re too nice, even when he’s actively trying to ruin your life. “Shall I go over it while we wait?”

“I’ll be an objective third party,” Spencer says with a brief smile, and you sigh, wave your hand toward Derek.

“Alright, let’s hear it. I’m sure I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for whatever evidence you might think you have.” He grins like this is the moment he’s been waiting for, and you feel a little stupid for encouraging this.

“For one, you always look at him. When I’m delivering a profile, I notice you watching the locals, making sure they understand what we’re going over, since you're the queen of analyzing the micro expressions. But when Hotch is delivering a profile, your eyes are on him the whole time. Same goes for discussing theories on the jet; anyone else, and you’ve got your face in your tablet, scribbling notes, but you always look at him when he speaks.”

Your cheeks get hot. He’s a captivating speaker, is all, with that deep, velvety voice, and you can learn a lot from him, so you pay attention. That’s just being smart.

“Second, you tense when he gets close to you: not like you don’t want him to touch you, but like you’re halfway to jumping him already and trying to control it. I could probably put my hand in your pocket and you wouldn't even flinch, but if he leans over you to point at something you look like you’re about to cream your pants.”

“I have seen that, actually,” JJ offers, and you look over at her, betrayed. Sure, you get a whiff of his clean, crisp cologne, or feel the heat of him at your back, and your body reacts, reminds you that this is your boss and you’re at work and you can’t get turned on by the way he smells, but that’s actually a good thing, not an indicator of feelings or anything.

“Third, there’s something up with you and the gray suits. I can literally tell that he’s wearing one before I even see him, all because of the look on your face. It’s like you’re drunk on the gray suit.”

“Okay, that’s not true,” you say with a roll of your eyes—the gray suits are god tier, but there’s no way you’re that obvious—but it’s Spencer who speaks up, this time.

“You know, I have noticed that. Your pupils tend to be more dilated when his suit is gray or blue than when it’s black.” Fuck. You sigh.

“He barely ever wears the blue. It looks so good on him,” you murmur, and then you snap your eyes shut, cover your face with your hands. “Fuck. This is so embarrassing.”

“To be fair, we are profilers,” Derek says, leaning in to pat your back. “But also to be fair, he’s been a profiler longer than any of us, so if we know, he definitely knows.”

“Not helping, Derek,” you grind out, and then you’re joined by the rest of the team. Penelope takes the seat next to you, leans in with a worried tone of voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“She’s having a small crisis, but she’ll be fine,” JJ says with a smile, and you don’t miss the way Hotch looks you over when she says it, concern in his eyes. “Alright, so we’re headed to Arkansas…”

Later that morning, when you’ve been given your instructions—yours are heading to the crime scene with Emily and Derek—Hotch pulls you out into the hall, rests a gentle hand on your arm.

“Are you alright? JJ mentioned you were having a crisis earlier. This is the first time I’ve been able to get you alone, and I wanted to check on you.” You take a deep breath, look up at him, so handsome in a black suit, white shirt, green tie—he almost never wears a green tie, and you absently think it brings out the more golden tones of his eyes—and smile softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s really nothing. Personal stuff, and I’m dealing with it.” If by ‘dealing with it’ you mean you’ve been repressing it, shoving it down day in and day out until your feelings are choking you, then yeah, you’re dealing with it. “Thanks for checking, though, that’s kind of you.”

“Of course. I’m here to help in any way I can, if you need me.” Good god, do you need him, emotionally, physically, but that’s fantasy, and this, what he’s offering, is rooted in reality. Good things do happen, but not to you.

“Thanks.” Your voice is weak to your own ears, and he swallows, nods; you see Derek hovering by the door, waiting for you, and you pull away to join him, plastering a smile on your face. You don’t talk about it again until Friday, and at that point it’s extremely unavoidable.

It’s Casual Friday, newly implemented by the bureau as a way to boost morale, and while it doesn’t really excite you, because you’re fairly casual anyway, others take full advantage of it. Others, including Hotch.

He shows up to work wearing a black polo and dark jeans, his usual watch. It’s easily the most simplistic, basic outfit a man could decide to wear on Casual Friday, but this isn’t just a man, it’s Aaron fucking Hotchner, and so naturally, you lose your damn mind.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the damn polo didn’t fit him perfectly, tight across his shoulders and chest and the little tummy he has that makes you want to be under him so badly, your stomachs pressed together while he thrusts inside you, holding you tightly, his strong thighs working against yours…

“Hello, are you alive in there?” Emily asks, waving her hand in front of your face; the two of you, along with Derek, are in Penelope’s office for lunch while Rossi, Reid, and JJ are out of the office for a seminar. You blink, shake away your thoughts and hope and pray they don’t come back—but they’ll come back, they always do.

“She’s just short circuiting because of Hotch’s Casual Friday look,” Morgan says with a wink, sitting backward in his seat. “She’s been drooling so much I’ve had to follow her around with a mop to clean up after her.” You push your wheeled chair away from them with a groan, needing space and air and, potentially, a brain transplant. You’ve gotten nothing done all day long.

“Can you blame me? The man comes in here everyday, buttoned up tight, looking incredible in a suit and tie, and then he shows up in that black polo, all snug and hot and delicious, and you expect me not to freak out? You guys are lucky I didn’t pass out.” You’re met with silence, and you blink, confused, at your friends, but they’re all just kind of staring with looks of barely concealed humor. “What? It’s not like it’s a secret that I want to climb him like a tree.”

“Pretty sure it was a secret to him,” Penelope says, looking shocked, and you whip around in your chair to see Hotch standing in the doorway, wide-eyed and a little flushed.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I, uh—” He raises a hand, waves you off.

“It’s okay. No harm done; thank you, for the, uh. Compliment.” He steps forward, hands a manila folder to Penelope. “Thanks for taking care of these,” he says softly, and then, unsurprisingly, he gets the hell out of there. You wish you could disappear off the face of the Earth.

“Fuck, holy fuck,” you mutter when he’s gone, leaning forward with your head in your hands. “That’s it, I’m quitting. It’s been nice knowing you guys.”

“Okay, don’t be dramatic,” Derek says, and you look up to glare at him; he’s the one that started all this in the first place. You were fine, feelings tamped down and suppressed, until he brought it up and then told everyone you know.

“Don’t tell me not to be dramatic, Derek! This is all your fault. You never respect my boundaries, you never know when to just let me be, you always have to pick and pick until you wear me down. Maybe I had a reason for wanting to keep my feelings private, did you ever think of that?”

“I know you're upset,” Emily begins softly, because there’s some pretty thick tension between you and Derek now, but you stand up, push your chair across the room, and shake your head.

“I’m not upset, I’m fucking humiliated. I’m going home; let him know I’m sick, will you?” You exhale deeply, storm upstairs and grab your stuff and drive home with tears in your eyes. You’ve never been so embarrassed in your life, and add that to the absolute heartbreak you’re feeling? You’re just happy you make it to your apartment, so you can break down with cheesecake and a sappy, romantic comedy with a happy ending: those perfect, fictional worlds are pretty much the only place one is guaranteed. You are, as planned, hunkered down on the sofa in your softest pajamas, watching You’ve Got Mail and eating the center out of an entire cheesecake with a spoon when there’s a knock at your door. You groan, pick up your cheesecake tin, and walk over to it, fully expecting it to be Derek come to beg for forgiveness for ruining your life, so it’s no surprise you drop your dessert on the floor when it’s actually Hotch on the other side.

He looks down at the tin, then up at your face, cracks the barest hint of a smile.

“I thought you were sick; I brought soup,” he says, holding up a paper bag, and your heart thumps in your chest. You wipe a hand over your face, because you haven’t been exactly neat in your heartache cheesecake consumption, and then you kick the tin across the floor and invite him in, closing the door behind him.

“I thought it was obvious that I wasn’t actually sick, just… really embarrassed,” you say when he turns back to look at you. “I can’t believe you heard all that stuff I said… I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable.” You take the bag from his hand and invite him to follow you into the kitchen, where you set it on the counter, lean against it. He comes close, but not so close you can’t function, which is good; your comfy pajamas are shorts and a loose tank top, so you feel a little exposed already.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” he says softly, and you frown, must have heard him wrong. He presses his fingertips against the counter, as if for support. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was… unexpected,” he explains, “very unexpected, but I’m not uncomfortable.”

You flush hot, and you can feel the bad decision part of your brain switching on, warning bells ringing in your head.

Whatever you do next has the potential to be extremely stupid, and you would like to avoid that at all costs; you love your job, after all, despite how physically and emotionally exhausting it can be, and you love your team. Time to think with your upstairs brain only.

“That makes me feel a little better,” you say truthfully, and despite the pep talk you just gave yourself, you move closer to him like there’s an invisible magnetic force between you; you would imagine a guy like Hotch would step back, keep his distance, but he only cranes his neck a little so he can look down at you more easily.

God, he’s tall. And he smells good, and his face is perfect, and that goddamn polo...

“Good, I’m glad. I don’t want you to feel bad about this. I’m not uncomfortable, it’s not… it’s not unwanted.” You swallow audibly, looking up at him, wondering if he knows what he’s saying, what it sounds like.

“It’s not?” you ask, and it comes out breathy; he takes a small step closer to you, brushes his fingers over your arm, peers into your eyes.

“No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking of you, too; I know you know you’re beautiful, but you’re also so smart, and strong-willed, and a force to be reckoned with. I’m proud to have you on my team, and I’d be proud… to have you climb me like a tree.” He smiles again, just the barest hint of one, and you put your arms around him and pull him closer for a kiss.

One long, slow, perfect kiss turns into another, then another, and he presses your back against the counter, his hands on your face and your hands on his thick waist; you hum into the kiss, revel in the feel of his lips on yours, his tongue sweeping past them, and when you pull back for air it feels like there’s only one question that needs to be asked.

“Bedroom?” you breathe, and he nods, and you take his hand and pull him in that direction, pausing to kiss him several times before you get there. “You don’t happen to have a condom, do you?” you ask, breathless, guiding him to the bed, and he frowns, shakes his head.

“I didn’t want to seem presumptuous.” You grin at that, lean forward and kiss him, your fingers in his hair.

“I find it so hot that you even say presumptuous. I might have one here somewhere.” You open your nightstand, move around books and toys until you find a couple; you flip them over, checking to see if they’re expired, and offer him a couple options. “They’re still good, surprisingly. You can, uh. Choose the one that would work best.”

He looks them over, picks one and hands back the rest, and you throw them back in the drawer and slide into his lap, wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he says, holding your waist as you look down at him, completely in awe that this is happening. “But I want to clarify: if you’re looking for something casual, I don’t think we should go any further.” You inhale softly, surprised by his straightforwardness, and you lean in, kiss him slowly.

“I don’t want casual. I want to be with you.” His eyes are so brilliant, dark in the dim light of your bedroom, and he nods, presses his lips to yours and slides his hands beneath your top, guides it over your head. Then they move to your shorts, slipping them gently off your hips, and you stand so he can push them to the ground.

You’re both breathing heavily, a little rough, and you step between his legs, kiss him again, run your hands down his chest, closing your eyes with a sigh because you finally get to feel him after a year of just imagining what it would be like. After a beat, you open your eyes, look into his, smile.

“Really grateful for Casual Friday,” you whisper. “Otherwise you might never have found out I’m kind of in love with you.” You ease the polo over his head, drop it on the ground and encourage him to stand so you can take off his pants; he does, but before you can drop to your knees as planned, he takes your face in his hands, presses one soft kiss against your mouth.

“I’m more than kind of in love with you.” Oh, if that isn’t the greatest sentence your ears have ever heard… You wrap your arms around his neck, kiss a little more, forgetting that you planned to finish undressing him; when you remember, you make quick work of it, then have him lay back against the bed and settle between his legs.

You put your mouth on him because you want to, more than anything, and his hand drops to your hair, caressing you while you suck slowly, deeply, holding him with one hand and pressing against his stomach with the other. His moans are soft and gorgeous, his body tense beneath your hand, and you’d do this all night, but he murmurs your name, coaxes you up, puts his hands on your back as you settle against him.

“You’re so incredible. I never would have imagined I’d get this, get you,” he breathes, skimming his hands over your sides and hips, and you kiss softly, steamy and sweet.

“Me neither.” You lean up, make space for him to roll on the condom, and then press him inside; your breath hitches, and so does his, and you lay on top of him, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, arms around each other tightly while you move. “Hmm. Aaron,” you sigh, hair falling around him, and he groans, digs his fingertips into your hips.

“Sounds so perfect coming out of your mouth.” You smile, but it slips away when he surges up to kiss you, leans up so he’s sitting with you in his lap. He slides a broad hand up your back, wraps it around the nape of your neck, and pumps his hips up as you sink down, eliciting a series of soft, eager moans from the both of you.

“Feels like I’ve waited so long; I’ve never wanted someone as badly as I wanted you,” you tell him, chest heaving, and he brings you to him for a kiss, something a little rougher, less refined. He’s getting close.

“Never. You make me feel so much.” You reach back against his leg for support, work harder to bring him off, and when he comes he crushes his mouth against yours, delicious and more uncontrolled than you’ve ever seen him. He chants your name, so soft and sweet rolling off of his tongue, and then gets you on your back so he can press deeply inside.

You feel so incredibly full, panting beneath him, your hands on his waist and your feet on the backs of his thighs; his perfect face is inches from yours, all shallow breaths and decadent, passionate kisses, and when you climax you pull him closer, sigh, unravel completely in his embrace.

Maybe good things do happen after all. You hold each other and talk for a while, after a quick pitstop to the restroom, and then your stomach growls—understandably, since the only thing to fill it since lunch was that stupid cheesecake—and Hotch orders takeout on his phone from bed; god bless technology.

There’s a knock at the door twenty minutes later, and you know that’s quick for your favorite Thai place, but you’re not complaining because you’re officially starving. He offers to grab it, throws on his boxers and heads for the living room; after a few minutes, you wonder what’s taking so long, pull on your robe and go to check on him.

Hotch is talking to Derek, who is standing in your living room with a piece of cheesecake and a shit eating grin.

“I came with a peace offering, but now I think I’ll wait for a, ‘Thank you, Derek,’” he says, and you roll your eyes, stalk over and take the cheesecake out of his hands. You give it to Hotch, lean up to kiss Derek on the cheek, and push him toward the door.

“Thank you, Derek. Go away, Derek,” you say with a smile of your own, and he raises his palms and retreats down the hall, laughing as he goes.

This is just one more thing he’ll tease you mercilessly about, but this time the benefits outweigh the costs. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner

[whoree321]

I am not sure if you have done this already, (if you have, you can ignore it) BUT... I'd love to see some NSFW headcannons for Tech...

i have not done this yet but i am frothing at the mouth at the opportunity! the lust that i feel for that man is indescribable

nsfw tech headcanons

warning: if the title wasn’t clear, these are literally just dirty dirty sex thoughts. X rated shit. if filth of this nature is not suitable for you plz don’t read<3

first and foremost it is very very important for me to say that i know, with 100% confidence, that tech is the best at sex of all the bad batch members

i understand this may be a controversial take. some of you may disagree. i don’t care.

the reasons that tech is the best at sex are threefold

1) tech does not tolerate being anything less than exceedingly proficient when it comes to his knowledge and abilities in any given subject of interest. regardless of the occasion, he won’t accept a below average performance from himself. tech has put in the hours, on and off the field (if you will), to ensure he is well versed in anything and everything to do with sex and pleasure. and he’s always anxious to experiment and learn more

2) tech is not hindered by shyness in the bedroom. when he knows what he’s doing, tech is confident (borderline arrogant), and as stated in reason #1, he KNOWS what he’s doing. tech may be a blushing, bashful mess when it comes to the emotional aspects of a relationship, but once y’all start getting hot and heavy he loses pretty much all of that. he knows he’s gonna show you a good time, and he’s excited

3) tech is also not hindered by pride in the bedroom. he has a very holistic view of sex (seriously he did a lot of research, he knows every school of thought regarding sexual intimacy), and he understands it in both a physical, theoretical way and also in a more emotional way. his main concern is mutual satisfaction by any means necessary, but if you’re in a relationship he’s also very interested in using sex has a way to like strengthen your connection. tech has no interest in being some kind of macho, alpha male that can conquer you or something. he’s not gonna limit himself to certain positions or methods to try to preserve his sense of masculinity. he wants you to feel good, and nothing is off the table. he will explore anything to enhance the experience (like seriously anything- we will get into that in a bit)

so for those reasons, i think tech is lowkey a sex god

whether or not you’ve had sex before when you and tech get together, sleeping with him for the first time might as well be your first time ever

because you did not know sex could really be THAT good

and that’s before he has the opportunity to really learn your body and figure out the best ways to pleasure you

i think that for a hot second, sex with tech is always a little bit of an experiment

he’s obviously focused on you and the moment, but he’s also doing research. (with your permission) tech will literally take detailed notes, he’ll record you so he can watch it back and analyze his performance like a professional athlete or something. he’s keeping track of how you respond to different things, how fast he can get you hurtling over the edge with different positions, paces, toys, etc.

side note: he loves toys. tech will modify toys (or fully build his own) based on both of your specific needs, so that even the toys yall use are designed with maximum efficiency

that’s really the only flaw with tech in a sexual sense: he’s really really methodical in the beginning, and it can sometimes take away from the genuine passion of the moment

once he’s satisfied with his research and feels confident in his knowledge of your body tho, it becomes wayyyy more natural and intimate rather than a science experiment. he’s solid in his physical knowledge of you, so he’s more focused on enjoying the moment and having fun

it’s almost like he needed to memorize the best way to fuck you and do it over and over until he didn’t need to consciously think about it before he could fully let himself go with you. there’s a notable transition when sex goes from being a technical mission for him to achieve your orgasm, to being a mutually/equally passionate, erotic experience

tech is a switch and you can’t change my mind

he usually assumes more of a dominant role, enjoying having you begging and whimpering beneath him, but he also loves when you take the reigns and have your way with him

i don’t think he’s the horniest of all the batchers, but he most certainly has a plentiful sex drive

when y’all haven’t had a chance to fuck in a while tech is secretly incorrigible

to the untrained eye, he’s good at keeping it to himself, but it’s very obvious to you. he goes out of his way to be just a little too close to you, his eyes linger on you just a little too long, his hands find their way to be touching you more than normal

he’s usually really easy to tease, but especially when he’s like this

literally you just stroke his forearm and whisper something lightly seductive in his ear and he’s pulling you into the nearest private space and absolutely rearranging your guts

circling back to what i said about tech becoming less scientific and more passionate during sex as time goes on with you, i think that also applies to dirty talk

i think he’s generally pretty vocal in bed, but it takes a little bit for him to nail the sensuality of dirty talk

at first, it’s not something he can really do that sounds very natural, like it comes out just a little too technical sounding

but once tech gets comfortable with you and really lets himself be fully vulnerable and open to you, he’s actually really really good at it. it still sounds just a little formal, but in an endearing and sexy way

he loves to tell you how sexy you are, how beautiful you look, how well you’re taking him, how good you feel

this man def has a degradation kink (specifically with intelligence)

like he doesn’t even really realize it himself until one time he’s testing out his newest toy on you and he asks you how it feels and you can’t even string together a coherent thought, much less a sentence, and he notices and starts asking more and more questions just to see you struggle to think of a response

and then he’s putting the toy down and going absolutely feral on you, pounding into you and saying that you’re just a cock dumb slut, that you’re so desperate and horny for him you can’t even think, that it’s so easy to just just absolute filth and he’s so condescending and arrogant about it

you both finish almost synchronously and after the aftershocks have passed and you’ve caught your breath, the two of you can’t help giggling a little bit as you comment that you weren’t expecting that to be as hot as it was, and he agrees

and omg if you uno reverse card it and do the same thing to him? he’s a fucking mess

like you’ve been torturously edging him, and every time you get him to the brink you ask him some sort of complex mathematical question or something, and he’s so wrecked he can’t spit the answer out so you say something like “aww i guess you’re not as smart as i thought, that’s ok baby at least you’re still pretty”. he’s a whining, shaking mess by the time you let him cum

(once he pulls himself together he definitely gets you back for it too)

also i think tech really really likes to leave hickeys on you exactly in the most precarious places. like he knows the exact measurements of where your clothes cover your skin and he loves to leave marks like right on the edge so that it’s mostly hidden but if anything shifts it’s visible

if any of the the other boys notice and tease you, he gets the most smug little grin on his face. once you have a second to yourselves, he saunters over to you and apologizes, but you know he’s happy to remind everyone that you’re his

overall i am just so fucking horny for this man like i just know tech is a phenomenal lover, he’s so focused on you and is just so good at all of it i would give anything to take him to pound town

[dangermousie]

Mousie’s absolutely subjective, very biased Top 10 web novels list

Please note that this is hardly aiming to be objective, if one can even be properly objective about a work of fiction. It is 110% based on my preferences, which means this list is heavy on the angst and has nothing set in the modern day. It is also heavily danmei-centric, even though I read way more het romance than danmei, because for whatever reason, most of the danmei I’ve read has been insanely good.

10. Return of the Swallow - one of the two non-danmeis on this list. Smart and nuanced and with a large cast of characters. Our heroine is a long-lost daughter of the family that is brought back in and has to cope with familial struggles, crazy royals, court intrigue, invasion et al. It’s SO GOOD! There is romance with the sexy smart enemy general but honestly, it’s the heroine that is the main selling point for me.

9. Transmigrator Meets Reincarnator - the only other non-danmei novel on this list, this was my very first web novel and what drew me into this insanity. This is just a ton of fun, probably the lightest novel on this list, not an ounce of angst to be found. But it’s hilarious and features competent heroine and tsundere hero and I will always love it for opening a new world to me. Anyway, our heroine transmigrates into the novel as the female lead. Unlike the original lead though she doesn’t want to seek adventures and angst - she just wants to comfortably live with the wealthy, nice husband heroine has. Alas, said husband is no longer nice since he has previously lived this story where he was betrayed by FL and then transmigrated/reincarnated into the past. Oh well, the heroine opens up businesses and makes friends. And eventually, her husband realizes his wife is way different this time around. This actually doesn’t have much romance, not until close to the end, but this is so fun I don’t care.

8. Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

7. Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS) - oh come on, how are you even on this tumblr if you don’t know MDZS/The Untamed? This was my very first danmei and it’s so much fun! I love everything about it - the unreliable narrator, the looping structure, the main OTP, Wei Wuxian’s laidback, traumatized insouciance, everything. Anyway, the plot in the event you somehow transported here from 2005 is that the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Wei Wuxian, was defeated by the righteous sects over a decade ago and fell of a cliff to his death. Only now that same Wei Wuxian opens his eyes in another body and everything that was supposed to stay in the past starts again.

6. Heaven Official’s Blessing (TGCF) - people either love its meandering narrative, picaresque structure and cast of thousands, or find it a detriment compared to much more compact MDZS. I love it even more than MDZS for those very qualities. It does have a rock-solid, darling OTP, but what really elevates it to me are the MXTX trademark combo of snarky/light tone hiding a ton of trauma underneath, the insanely intricate world-building, and what it has to say about the nature of grace and goodness. Xie Lian is one of my top 5 web novel characters and probably in top 10 from anywhere. Oh, and while MXTX’s stuff is not as angsty for me as Meatbun’s or even Priest’s, there are always exceptions, and there is one chapter in this novel that pretty much broke me and sometimes I still flashback to it and feel unwell.

Anyway, what is it about? There is a commotion in the heavenly realm - Xie Lian, the Crown Prince of a long-destroyed kingdom, has ascended to Godhood. That in itself is not so exciting. However for Xie Lian this is the third time (!!!!) as he’s ascended and lost his godhood twice prior. And now, the biggest joke of the divine realm is back, throwing the heavenly realm into chaos. And elsewhere, Hua Cheng, one of the four most powerful demons of that Universe, sits up and takes notice.

5. Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

4. Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

3. To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

1. The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

[anotherimaginesaccount]

THINGS I'VE NOTICED ABOUT PEOPLE WHO BIAS BTS:

Jin stans:

you guys act really confident even if you struggle with loving yourself

typically the parent of the friend group

elite sense of humor

genuinely so underrated

90% of the time you're hot and you own it and that's very sexy of you

Everyone needs a Jin Stan in their life

Suga biases

You guys are so chill

Rarely ever straight let's be honest here

You guys are called savage or rude when you're really just honest and blunt

You're so soft for those you guys care about

You finish everything but nobody ever sees you working somehow?!?

You have an RBF but you're actually a very wholesome person

J-Hope stans

Funniest people hands down

Loads of people think that they know you but you can count the people who actually know you on one hand

Keep everybody positive

You guys need to look after yourselves better

Is called too much when people really just envy you're good vibes

In conclusion, Hobi stans are the best

Namjoon stans

So wise and smart, but also have no common sense

Like you will be able to write an essay about the meaning of life and fail to remember where you left your house keys

Trip over everything fr

Think you would be a horrible leader but in reality are such good leaders

Everyone's comfort person

Y'all need to be able to set clearer boundaries and put yourselves first

Jimin stans:

Okay everyone thinks you are the dirty minded ones but you're actually not.

Like you know an innuendo when you see it, but you're not as dirty minded as people make you out to be

You take after your bias in terms of duality

One second I wanna baby you and the next minute I am shaking in fear because holy crap your are terrifying when you are mad

You guys need to be more confident in yourselves, cause deadass you are hot

Let's be honest you could get away with murder with your charms

Taehyung Stans

Creative and poetic or like a squirrel on cocaine, no in between

Like you will either analyse the shit out of an Oreo or be playing with a grenade launcher

Expensive taste and luxurious vibe

You get lonely easily and are slightly high maintenance ngl. But deffo worth it

Elite fashion sense

You are actually the most dirty minded of the group

Jungkook stans

Emo but also the baby tbh

Like you like to think you are intimidating but you're really not.

People might be warded off by you're RBF, but once you open your mouth then understand that you are a literal child.

Biggest simps I swear. Once your are down, your are down BAD.

You guys are either in bed till noon or out of bed at an unholy hour of the day.

Hard working and you guys have horrible self preservation skills

Like babe get some sleep please

[clearlydiamondz]

New Partners

Erik Stevens x Black!Reader

---------------------

(Y/N) and Erik are partnered up on a mission. After getting stuck together, things get a little heated between the two.

Warning: Cursing, SMUT, 18+ Content, Semi Fight Scene, mention of infertility, self harm

---------------------

(Y/N) looked around the table with men as she rolled her eyes. So many men sitting here with their pride so far up their ass, it was showing in their face. She knew they had a problem with her being here, but it was more that just that. She was one of the best assassins this organization had to offer. They were intimidated by that. Who wouldn’t be. 

You were on of the girls that escaped the Red Room. That’s right. You were a black widow, trained along side the infamous Natalia Romanova. Better known as Natasha Romanoff. After loosing you’re home from S.H.I.E.L.D, you joined this organization. Just one thing threw it off. You were the only women here. Even though you irked something in their head, they couldn’t help but find you sexy. The only person in here who’s never given her a hard time was Erik. 

Erik was to himself. He didn’t speak to no one unless it was call for for a mission. He was just to himself.

“Good morning everyone.” Your boss Ricky came in as you put your phone away. “I’m going to keep this meeting short and simple. We heard a big deal going around the streets that some of the alien space craft parts from the attack on New York in 2012 is floating around the black market. We will be attending a bidding so that we can get those parts in our hands. Each of you guys here have been handpicked by me because you are  one of the best that we have here.” he said. 

After going her case file, she saw that was playing the role of Isabella Hardaway.  The wife of Simone Hardaway. She looked at all the information that was given to her. 

After the meeting, she was walking to her office when she felt someone tap her shoulders. She turned around seeing Erik standing there with his arms cross. It looked as if she just came back from a mission considering he had all of his tactical gear on. 

“I am going under as Simone Hardaway. Meet me at my office to discuss details before you go on lunch..” Was all he said before stepping away. She turned around walking back to her office and shutting the door. 

--------------------

Before her lunch break, she walked to Erik's office knocking on the door. She heard a come in before walking into his office. The first thing she noticed was the interior of it. Everything was black and gold. It smelled good in her, kind of like Pine Cone. And he had a lot of Wakandian artifacts. The only reason she knew about it was because back in the red room she would read all types of articles and books about Wakanda. 

“You have a very nice office..” she trailed off. 

“Let’s just talk about the mission, yeah?” he said. She nodded. 

“Sure.”

Erik was a cutie. She was always attracted to the guys who didn't say much. Due to some research, she knew it was always the niggas that didn't talk a lot knew had to handle business.

And there was nothing more than she wanted for him to handle her...

----------------------

(Y/N) rode the elevator back to the quarters that same night. It was time for them to start the plan and she was only a couple of  minutes late. As the doors opened, she walked into the building and instantly everyone's eyes were on her.

She ignored their stares as she went to the tactic room grabbing the gear that she needed. As she was signing out her equipment, Erik came beside her leaning against the wall. 

“You’re late.” he simply said as she looked up at him giving him a fake smile. She closed booklet before looking at him standing up fully. 

“Sorry but I have to look the part of a billionaire.” she said then looked at herself. “It just doesn’t happen sweet heart.” she finished before walking out the room. Erik turned around as she walked past him, looking at her backside as she walked outside the door.  

There was no hesitation that Erik wanted to have his way with her. She was fine, smart and witty. She’s been working here a little over two years now and this was the first time he could actually talk to her. Even the first time on a mission. 

They received their instructions sitting in the back of the limo, riding to the place where they were doing the bidding at. (Y/N) was looking over the notes she had tucked into her clutch before Erik spoke up. 

“You shouldn’t hide the notes in your hand bag.” he said in a suggestive tone as she looked at him. 

“I’m not. I just bring it with me so that I could go over everything before the mission.” she said folding it and tucking it under the seat. He shook his head chuckling. She looked at him raising an eyebrow. “Oh wow.. he actually laughs. Someone record this.” she said shaking her head.

“Anyways...” he trailed off turning around and looking at him. “There are somethings that you need to know about this place. It’s heavenly guarded. Metal detectors everywhere. So.. those weapons you have is useless.” he said. 

“Yeah I figured that out. But that’s why I have this.” she pulled her dress up to see a knife strapped to her thigh. Erik wasn’t really focused on the knife, more of how full her thighs looked. Damn, he wouldn’t mind being in between those thighs and getting lost. She pulled it back down, Erik not making it noticeable that he wasn’t paying attention at all. 

“A knife. You are going up against a bunch of men with guns... and your defense is a knife?” he asked pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Oh.. you have a lot to learn my friend.” 

-----------------

They inserted the hall, their arms linked with each other. “Their holding the parts on the 5th floor but it’s heavily guarded.” They heard in their coms. 

“We need to make our presence known a little bit, then we can sneak off.” she told him as he nodded.

“Ah, you must be  Simone and Isabella, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” An Italian man walked up to them. Erik reached his hand out for him to shake.

"Ah, you must be Giovanni." Erik said to him as (Y/N) shook his hand.

"Oh wow, you're even beautiful in person." he winked at her. Deep inside, she was disgusted. But she had to play along with the roll.

"Oh stop, you're making me blush." she playfully said as he smirked at her.

"Well the bidding is going to start an hour so make yourselves comfortable." he said. They were left alone as Erik whispered in her ear.

"We need to get back there before they start bidding." he said as she nodded.

"I memorized the floor plan of the place. There is a hallway on the left side of the building behind the bar. It should direct us back there." she said. They saw the entrance was blocked by two guards standing there with AK-47s.

"Yeah, but those big ass niggas standing in the way." he said as she smirked at him.

"Well, all we need is a distraction." she said to him as he leaned back in the chair. "What do you mean you have a plan?"

"Just follow my lead..."

- - - - - - - -

She walked to Fabian tapping his shoulder. He turned around about to snap until he saw who it was. "Oh, Mrs. Hardaway. Is everything alright?" he asked placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Actually, one of your guests here have been incredibly rude to me. A-And it's just making me and my husband a bit uncomfortable and I really just don't appreciate it." she said shaking her head.

"Who!?"

She pointed in the direction where a man by the name of Rodney stood. She knew who he was. Rodney was one of the dudes that ran a drug ring on the West Coast near Compton. He was a hot head that didn't mind popping off on anyone at any minute.

Mixed with Giovanni, who didn't think with his head but his fist. If this was going to be a distraction, she didn't know what was.

"Aye, what the fuck Rodney!" Giovanni yelled walking over to him. "Why the fuck you're being a bitch!?" he exclaimed as Rodney eyes went wide with pure anger.

"Nigga who the fuck are you calling a bitch, bitch."

And they fell right into place. The two guards standing at the door ran to the commotion as Erik walked calmly to the back door. She followed as they ran down the hallway.

"See, easy work." she said to him as he shook his head.

"No you're just lucky that the two of them don't know how to control their emotions." she responded as she shrugged.

"Same thing." He followed her as the posted behind a wall. She turned her head to see more guards standing at the entrances. She turned to look at Erik putting up five fingers to tell him that there were five guards.

She dug into her purse grabbing the penny electricity lock before turning around smirking at Erik. She flipped it around the corner before she heard the groans.

"Yo.. you're fucking crazy." he shook his head as she smirked.

"Okay, well look where it got us." she said walking down the hall. She picked up the guns only to see that they were digitally activated. "What kind of..." she whispered looking at this.

"Yeah we can't use these." Erik said looking over her shoulder.

"Whelp the only form of weaponry is my knife so let's get this thing rolling." They grabbed the key card opening the door letting themselves inside. Erik shut the metal door before he walked in shutting the metal doors.

"I have a feeling that Ricky only sent me on this mission for the if it goes wrong because it seems like you got this figured out." Erik said leaning against the table. She dug into her purse grabbing a pair of tweezers before she chuckled. "

"I've seen you're record file, you have some pretty impressive stunt work under your feet." she said as he tilted his head to the side.

"So you stalked me?"

"No, I was just making sure that Ricky didn't put me with an idiot. And he has not." she said cutting the wires to the safe. She heard the air exit the safe before Erik opened the safe. He grabbed the piece as (Y/N) looked at it.

"That's it? It literally just looks like scrap metal." she said as he nodded.

"Well, this is what we need so-"

"Hands up!" Both of them turned around to see a guard standing at the door. "Put it down and step away from the safe." he said as she looked at Erik. He placed it on the ground before the guard walked further inside.

"Alright, lift your dress up."

"Nigga what the fuck?'

"Excuse me?"

"I'm the one with gun here, lift it up." he said as she nodded.

"You don't have to do this? I mean-"

"Shut up! Lift it." she nodded, faking pouting. She lifted up her dress before grabbing the knife aiming it at his arm than throwing it making him drop the gun.

"What the-" Erik punched him the nose the nose before flipping him on his back, grabbing his arm and bending it before she heard a crack. Before he could scream, Erik punched him again in the face as his eyes went shut and he laid limped on the floor. She grabbed the wreckage before smiling at him.

"A bunch of men with guns.. and you bring a knife?" she mocked him as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah.. okay. You can handle yourself. I like that." he said licking his lips as she raised her eyebrows.

"Don't look at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like that. You lookin at me with some, 'I wanna fuck you' eyes." she said as he smirked.

"Maybe I do."

"Boy bye. You wouldn't know what to do with all this even if it came with instructions. Now come on." she said walking out with a sway in her hips.

"Damn..."

- - - - - - - - -

They were outside walking to the limo when the agent on the phone started talking. "Change of plans you guys. They found that there has been a breach with the stuff. So you guys have to stay in character. We guys got you a hotel downtown." they heard as Erik mumbled a 'shit'.

"Well let's get out of here before they think of something?" he said, she agreeing. They got into the car before the limo driver pulled off.

They made it to the five star hotel and settled into their rooms before she sighed. "We don't even have clothes." she groaned as he shrugged.

"I sleep naked anyways." he said walking into the bathroom. 

“By the way, they have the room wired just in case something goes left!” she yelled out for him but he didn’t hear her. She smacked her teeth before taking off her shoes. I mean she did too, but sleeping next to him. She wasn't going to lie, she was a bit intimidated by him. But oh well. 

As she waited for him to get out the shower, she went through some paperwork she bought with her before she stripped from her gown laying it on the sofa that was in the living room. She grabbed a whiskey glass from the bar before pouring herself a glass of crown royal that Erik purchased. She drink a little more before she felt herself have a little buzz. 

  She had a wet rag wiping the make up off when he stepped out of the bathroom. She didn’t even notice the shower stopped running. He had the tower wrapped around his waist before looking her up and down. She noticed the scars that sat over his body. 

Damn that shit looked sexy... 

He wasn’t hiding that he was checking her out. His eyes traced over her frame. His tongue traced his bottom lip as he looked up at her. He looked further down noticing the scar above her abdomen. 

“What happened to you?” They both said at the same time.

“I said it first.” she said quickly, as he rolled his eyes. 

“Do you want the simple version or the extended version.” he said crossing his arms over his chest. “Extended version?”

“It’s just something that I did to myself to remind me how many people I killed. You know, never make me loose sight of who I really am. Also to remind myself of what I can become.” he responded honestly. 

“You did that to yourself?” she asked, shocked. He nodded. “And you call me crazy...” she said as he chuckled. 

“And you?”

“Do you want the simple version or the extended version?” she asked him. 

“Extended.” 

“So, I grew up in the program called the red room.” she started. 

“Oh yeah. I heard about that shit. That’s why you’re so good at what you do.. huh?” he said as she nodded. 

“Yeah, well anyways. At your graduation ceremony, we had this procedure done. They told us it was just tying tubes so you don’t mess up and get pregnant. But turns out, they took... everything.”

“Ohh...” he trailed off. “That’s-”

“Yeah, It sucks. I want my life to be more than just this. I want to have a kid one day but that’s never going to happen so.. yeah.” she responded.  

“Damn, I’m so sorry.” She didn’t want to end so awkwardly, so she used a little bit of her dark humor. Something she did to avoid having to dig into her feelings.

“But on the bright side, I don’t have periods. The sex is amazing, well depending on the person I’m fucking.” she responded as he squinted his eyes. 

“Why you say that?”

“Well, if their clean, I don’t need protection. And sex is best when it’s raw.” she winked at him.  His eyebrows raised with a sense of caution. He didn’t know if that was a sign or something, but he took it as one.

“Well, I need to get going into the shower.” she walked passed him, walking into the bathroom before turning around and shutting the door. Apart of her wished that he would turn around and follow her inside but she knew he would never do that.

She stripped naked before turning the water to a comfortable temperature. After that, she stepped in letting the water drip down her skin. The water pressure in the shower was no joke.

While she was in her own little world, lathering her body up, she didn’t even notice that Erik came into the bathroom with her. He took the towel off placing it on the sink before putting his hands on the glass. She still didn’t notice that he was in the bathroom with her. Erik wanted that.

He slid the door open, (Y/N) turning around in shock to see him standing there. Dick standing tall and him breathing hard. (Y/N) was stuck. Here he is, one of the sexiest man she has ever laid eyes on, is butt naked in the shower with her. Something took over her as she wrapped her tiny hands around his dick slowly stroking it up and down.

“You want this dick, (Y/N)?” Oh his voice was deep deep. “Once I start I ain’t going back. I plan on ruin your little ass.” he said as she looked up at him.

“That’s what I want..” she whispered to him. She leaned forward placing a kiss in his chest before making her way down, placing kisses all the way until she was face to face with the monster.

His dick was just as beautiful as him. Long and thick, a vein very noticeable and his tip leaking out with ore cum. “You want this pussy?” she asked him, putting her hand down there rubbing her clit in a circular motion. “She stay wet and ready to take some big dick like this..” she whispered kissing along his dick. He clenched his jaw as he leaned against the shower wall.

“Keep talking like that. Watch me fuck that mouth of yours.” he warned her as she smirked. She wrapped lips around the tip, swirling her tongue around it collect all of the syrup he had to offer. Sweet but tangy. She liked it.

She slowly made her way down his dick as he closed his eyes throwing his head back. “Yeah... you know what you doin. Show me what ya little freaky ass got.” he said to her. She wrapped her other hand around the base stroke it as she sucked him properly. It was nice and slow. For her sake, this man was big. Way too big to fit in her mouth. She don’t even know how she managed to get this much of him.

“You’re so big Erik.. you sure it’s gonna fit in this tight ass pussy?” she asked him as he chuckled.

“You should be asking yourself that question. I’m digging in that shit no matter-ooh.” his sentence was cut short when she started to stroke him faster while sucking his dick. “Show off then. Little nasty bitch, I love me a nasty bitch. Play with that pussy. I want the shit dripping down my chin when I eat that shit you hear me?” he said as she nodded.

“Yes sir.” Oh that made his dick jump. She noticed the little peak of excitement before smirking to herself. She focused her attention on his dick before letting him fuck her mouth. Her hands were on the floor as he grabbed her hair keeping her still as he attacked her throat.

“Fuck! Your shit is dangerous ma!” With a final thrust, he came all down her throat. It came out of no where and she coughed. She wasn’t no bitch though and swallows it.

“Swallow all that shit.” he directed her. He saw her swallow it before smirking. “Stick ya tongue out.” she stuck her tongue out before he grabbed her by the throat pulling her to her foot. Within a split second, he had his tongue down her throat. He sucked on her tongue, tongue gliding along each other as she moaned.

“I know, I’m finna play in that pussy right now. I know she’s wet.” (Y/N) stuck her tongue out once more as he looked at her confused until it finally hit him.

This is just one nasty bitch... yeah he definitely keeping up with this one.

He spat in her mouth as she smiled bringing him into a soul crushing kiss. “Go put your leg on the counter, I’m hungry and I want some of that pussy.” he told her as she smiled in content. She opened the glass door before stepping out. He followed her to the counter as she placed her leg on the counter stretching out. He walked behind her wrapping his arms around her waist. She felt his hard dick rubbing against her thighs as she leaned back against him. With his other hand, he rubbed her ass then giving it a slap.

She gasped then moaned as he smirked at you. "You like that, don't you?" he said as she nodded. His fingers traced around further before he was rubbing her clit from the back.

"You got this wet just by sucking my dick?" he asked her a she nodded.

"Yes.. I love sucking dick." she told him as he smirked.

"Yeah, slutty ass." Unexpectedly, he dipped his finger in her pussy as she gasped. Damn this nigga have some thick ass fingers.

"Shit you tight.. you sure she can take all this dick." he said rubbing his dick against her ass as she nodded.

"Yes I can take it- ooh." she moaned closing her eyes throwing her head back. He curved his finger hitting her G-Spot as she moaned.

"Fuck daddy, Right there. Shit!" she gasped out as he kissed her shoulder. His pace went faster as she felt a pressure in her abdomen. "I'm going to cum.." she whispered.

"Yeah, let me get that." he said as she smirked. A couple of seconds later, she came all over his fingers. He kept going like nothing ever happened. She was overly sensitive, and he could tell bu the slight shake she had.

"Fuck... Erik wait." she gasped as he shook his head laughing.

"Nah, all that fucking teasing you did. Keep your leg up. Don't fucking move." He bent down gliding his tongue along her folds as she fluttered her eyes shut.

Erik moaned as her wetness dripped down to his tongue. He thought it was damn near impossible for someone to be this wet but here she is like a faucet. He stood up as she placed her foot on the ground. He turned her around lifting her up and sitting her on the counter. She bit her lip looking at him as he shook his head.

"It doesn't make any fucking sense how wet this pussy is.." he said to her. He grabbed his dick rubbing his tip along the fold as he sighed in pleasure.

"Stop teasing me.."

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do." he grunted at her. He teased her a bit more before entering his slowly.

"Fuck..." she whispered out as he stretched her out. "Fuck you're filling me up."

Erik on the other hand went silent. He was in complete shock about this. He slowly started to thrust as she gripped the counter top for support.

"Good ass pussy, this my shit here. You understand?" he said as she nodded.

"Yes.. oh my god." she groaned. She put her hands between their bodies, rubbing her clit in circular motions. "Faster please." she moaned a nodded. He started to fuck her faster, the sounds bouncing off the bathroom walls.

"Fuck..."he groaned picking her up. He walked out into the room, pushing her against the wall, thrusting faster into her. She let out a loud scream before he kissed her to muffle the noise.

"Fuck baby... you beating my shit up."

"Like I'm suppose to. You hear her, making all that fucking noise." he said a she nodded.

"Talk to me."

"Yes, I hear her!" she moaned.

"Yeah, she like that shit. Slutty ass pussy.." he grunted. She bit his shoulder in attempt to keep her from screaming.

"I-I think I'm about to cum." she whispered as he smiled. "Let me feel that shit." With a tight squeeze, she released all on him as she hit her head against the wall.

"FUCK!" she groaned. Her body shook once more as he carried her to the bed. He flipped her on her stomach before arching her back.

"We not done.. far from it." he said. Without warning, he thrusted fully into her, thrusting into her at a fast pace. She bit the sheet as she moaned. Tears rolled down her eyes as she let the pleasure overwhelm her.

"What happened to me not being able to handle yo ass? What was that shit you was talking?" he taunted her. Now it was her turn to be stuck. He grabbed a fist full of her hair, pulling her back to his chest. He laid his chin on her shoulder whispering in her ear. "Answer me when I'm talking to you? You got some good dick and now you can't talk?"

"Baby.. please." she whispered as he smiled at her. Oh that shit was wicked.

"Baby please what? I can already feel that pussy tugging on my shit. You about to cum again?"

"YES!" she screamed as he smacked her ass. "Stay just like that while I bust this nut all in your guts bitch." he grunted letting go of her hair. The pressure came quick again, and within a couple of seconds she squirting all over him and the bed. She lost balance falling into the bed with him following her.

It triggered his own orgasm as he let his cum drip deep inside of her. "Fuck!" he grunted out as she spasmed a bit feeling it.

"We ain't done..." he whispered to her as she groaned.

- - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, in the control room, the entire team was in shock. At first they were confused.

"It's silent, why can't we hear them?" Ricky said as one of the tech geeks, James, started typing away.

"Everything seem to be connected. We don't know. We can hear the shower running..." he said as Ricky stood up biting his nail.

"Maybe we should-"

"Fuck daddy, Right there. Shit!" They heard that shit loud and clear.

"Uhhh...." James awkwardly said. It was silent for a few moments before the heard smacking noises. That's when they heard a loud scream.

"Fuck baby... you beating my shit up."

"Like I'm suppose to. You hear her, making all that fucking noise."

"Should we turn it off?" James said about to push the mute button.

"Just put them on low. We can't risk not hearing anything if something happens." Ricky said, his face in utter disgust. "Jesus Christ..." he said walking away shaking his head.

- - - - - - - -

The next morning, they woke up to a loud banging on the door. (Y/N) shot up looking around to see Erik laying next to her snoring." She grabbed the robe that the hotel provided wrapping it around her body. She ran to the door to see guards standing outside of her door. She opened it.

"Oh well how can I help you gentlemen?" she asked smiling at them.

"We are reporting to all the guests that was at the bid last night. Some artifacts was stolen from us." she said as she gasped.

"What? Oh my goodness, who would do such a thing?" she asked.

"Well we suspect you two. You guys aren't really together are-"

"Everything alright baby?" Erik came into view as they looked at him in shock. Not because of his scars but because all of the hickies and scratch marks that was over his body. They took notice of the ones that you had on your neck.

"No, they are accusing of us of not being together! They think we stole some artifacts from that place. Well I tell-"

"So why were you the first ones to leave?" he asked as she scoffed.

"After that fight, we decided that it was out of control and unprofessional. We can take our business else where." she said rolling her eyes. "Y'all don't have any cameras or security. Just ghetto if you ask me."

"We did have cameras, they were all out."

"So you're accusing us of stealing? We don't need to steal."

"Do you want us to show our wedding pictures? Because we-"

"Actually Mrs. Hardaway, we don't have any more questions. We are sorry for bothering you." he said. She slammed the door in their face before turning around.

"I'm surprise you can even walk."

"Shut the hell up."

- - - - - - -

They made it back to the quarters for the briefing. After the briefing Ricky went to your office to talk to you and Erik. "First I would like to say congratulations. You guys did an excellent job." he smiled at the two.

"Well you know I always try my best." (Y/N) said smiling back to him.

"And another thing. If you know the room is wired, please be a little more quiet when you guys do the do. It's very uncomfortable." he said before walking out. (Y/N) eyes went wide as Erik chuckled shaking his head.

"I totally forgot that it was wired..." she said putting her hands in her face.

"To be honest... I realized half way through but I was like fuck it." he laughed as she threw a pen at him but he caught it. "While we're on topic, I need to finish up my report. But meet me in the quiet room in an hour. I want some more." he told her and with that he left.

Damn...

[psychedellic-phase]

Princess (smut)

A/N: I feel like this is definitely out of character but it literally would not leave my brain. also yes they are so toxic !!! I binge wrote this at 1 am so I hope you enjoyyy

tw: arguing, cursing SMUT! Oral (male receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, cheating & toxic relationships.

word count: 4.6 k 

masterlist

It was Thursday. I knew I’d find him where he usually is on Thursdays: that corner table at O’Malley’s, the one below the neon ‘Corona’ sign. 

I went most Thursdays, when I could, and sat at a table across the bar. It was the perfect place to watch him have two whiskeys, neat, and go home alone. 

He hadn’t noticed me yet. It’s not like I looked different, I still looked like me but he looked better and better every time I saw him. 

Was it weird to watch my ex-boyfriend that I swear I’m over from across a bar? Yes. Do I have a loving boyfriend at home waiting for me to come home every Thursday? Yes. Am I lying to this boyfriend? Yes. Am I completely over my ex like I say I am? Clearly not. Am I completely insane? Definitely. 

It’s not my fault though, Spencer Reid just had to be all consuming. Addicting. Intoxicating. A human black hole who I’d happily fall back into any given day, but he couldn’t know that. It would just feel his already overinflated ego. He could never know about how all my thoughts revolve around him. Maybe he isn’t a black hole, maybe he’s the sun, and I’m just a planet spinning around him. 

Every Thursday I tried to get up the nerve to go say Hi. And every Thursday I managed to get up the nerve the second he paid his tab and left. 

But today, that was going to change. I was going to do it, just say Hi. It shouldn’t have been scary, I did spend six months of my life with him. He knows me, much better than I’d like to admit, and I know him. But he always knew how to make me twitch. The man could make me nervous, and men never make me nervous. No one ever makes me nervous. 

I watched him as he sat, his hair longer than it had been when we were together. His suit looked the same, so did the gray cardigan and maroon tie. I vaguely remember having that exact tie around my wrists one night. He used his beautiful fingers to trace the rim of his cup, his brown hair covering his eyes lightly. His eyes, brown but hazel, like a golden green, with beautiful eyelashes I was always jealous of. They’re so long, he looks like he has mascara on.

Wait his eyes. 

Eyes?

Shit. 

I had made direct eye contact with him. 

He saw me. 

I saw him. 

Fuck. 

And now he’s walking. Towards me. Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Here he is, right in front of me. God he’s so hot.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I just stared at him. He slid the chair across from me from out under the table without asking permission. He sat in it, whiskey in hand.

“So what exactly have you been doing here every Thursday for the last eight Thursdays, Y/N?”

I blushed lightly, but kept my composure. He knew how to make me nervous but I knew how to make him sweat. 

“O’Malley’s makes the best cosmos in DC.”

He shifted in his seat, fingers drumming on the table, “It’s a mediocre cosmo at best. You’re here for me. So here I am.”

I sat up in my seat, “Mediocre cosmo, and mediocre company.”

“Mediocre?” He chuckled darkly, “If I’m so mediocre then why have you been watching me?”

Of course he figured me out, he’s a goddamn FBI agent. God I was stupid sometimes, but only with him. It’s like every time he spoke, half of my brain flew out of my head. 

“Honestly, there isn’t much else to look at around here,” I gestured around the dingy bar, “And also, it’s been way longer than eight Thursdays. You should brush up on those observation skills, Dr. Profiler.”

His eyes darkened, “You never answered my question, Princess.”

I shuddered at the use of that nickname. I hadn’t heard it from him in a while, I just hoped he couldn’t see the effect it had on me. I evaded the question again, “The better question is why do you come here alone each week like clockwork?”

He shrugged, “Because you’re here every Thursday like clockwork.”

My mouth fell open slightly. He thought about me. I was weirdly proud of myself for that. He continued, “What? You think you were the only one watching? Please.”

I scoffed, “Then why wait so long to come over?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

I bit my lip, a dull flame forming in my belly, “I don’t come over because I have a boyfriend, and it would be inappropriate.”

He smiled, showing his beautiful white teeth, “Well that’s a lie.”

“It’s true!” I was offended. He acted as if another man would never want me, like the colossal pain the ass he always is.

“No, no, I believe the boyfriend. But the threshold of what is appropriate was passed when you lied to him for weeks just so you could get a good look at me.”

He was right. I did lie, about a lot of things and mostly to myself. God, why couldn’t I just love the nice guy? Why was it the infuriating, sexy, genius who I found myself in quicksand with?

“Stephan knows where I am.”

Another lie he’d see right through, but I didn’t care. I’d lie through my teeth if that meant that he would keep talking. God, how I missed his voice, his stupid, arrogant, beautiful voice. 

Spencer looked at me straight in the eyes then, “Does he princess? That’s sweet.”

The condescension in his voice was palpable.

“You’re still so passive aggressive,” I said, leaning back in my chair to create space between us. He leaned forward, eradicating the space I just created. 

“Yet you’re still here.”

I stood up then, feeling like the tension between us could suffocate me, “I’m getting another round. Neat?”

He nodded, “Make it a double, I think I’ll need it.”

I walked over to the bar, finally getting some air. I was already so hot, and it wasn’t from the packed bar. It was from the way his eyes looked through me, the way he said my name, the way he said ‘Princess’. I regained my composure and sauntered back over to him. Game on, Pretty Boy. 

“So how’s what’s his name? Steven?” He said, taking his new drink. 

I rolled my eyes, “It’s Stephan, but you knew that. You know everything.”

He chuckled cockily, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, “Well, how is Stephan?” He said the name with a fake posh accent, forcing me to hold back a laugh. 

“He’s wonderful,” I responded, twirling the mini umbrella from my drink between my fingers. Spencer’s dark eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, reading me like a book. The same way he always had. 

“No he isn’t,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Wh-,” I groaned, “Spencer, I swear he’s great!”

“You haven’t gotten any better at lying.”

“And you haven’t gotten less infuriating.”

“Infuriating? Me?” He was mocking me now, I crossed my arms in defense, hoping maybe he could read that body language, and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. 

God why did he have to be like that? How did he always know exactly which buttons to press? And why did I like it? Why was I on fire from the moment he walked over?

“You were infuriating for the six months we dated, three years ago, and you’re infuriating now.”

He shrugged, “But you still like it. Some things never change, Princess.”

I blushed, knowing he was right, but not wanting to admit it, “I don’t like it. I hate it.”

He moved his chair closer to me at the table, so close I could smell him. He smelled the same way he did those years ago, and I had the same reaction. Thank god I was sitting; he made me so weak in the knees.  

Snap out of it, Y/N. I ordered myself, Think of Stephan, yes. Stephan, beautiful, boring Stephan. 

“Stephan isn’t infuriating,” I said, trying to ignore the way he licked his lips when he looked at me. God, I wanted to feel them against me. 

“Oh really? What is Stephan like?” Spencer said, using air-quotes around his name, disgust dripping from each syllable. 

“He’s nice.”

I avoided making eye contact, knowing full well how Spencer could see every lie I was about to tell. It wasn’t that Stephan was bad, he was just so, painfully, boring. If cardboard was a human being, it would’ve been Stephan. 

“Nice? That’s all?” Spencer said it with an air of amusement. 

“Well, he’s an accountant and he’s thirty-one.”

Spencer leaned close to me now, his breath smelling like whiskey and tickling my cheeks as he spoke, “Those are facts Y/N, I want to know what he’s like. Is he good to you? Does he make you happy?”

I gulped. There were the nerves. I was starting to twitch; his specialty. 

“He’s wonderful. He’s charming. I couldn’t ask for a better man.”

Spencer leaned back, crossing his legs and drinking some more, waiting for me to continue. 

“My parents love him. He’s smart, and handsome too.”

Spencer scoffed, “Your parents loved me.”

I rolled my eyes, “Well, he actually calls when he says he will, unlike you. Also unlike you, he’ll open doors for me because he isn’t scared of germs. He also doesn’t correct me every time I misspeak, instead he tells me I’m beautiful, and smart, and funny.”

We fell silent, both looking angry and defensive. He always could get to me like this. My body was hot and angry and so was his. He looked so good, it actually hurt. Could his lips be any pinker? Could his jawline be any sharper? 

“I’m waiting for the ‘but,’” He said, taking me out of my head for a moment. 

“But?”

“Yeah, what’s his fatal flaw Y/N?”

“Flaw? He has none. He’s literally perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Yes!” I snapped. 

“No one’s perfect. What’s his flaw?” 

“None!”

Spencer kept badgering me, “What is it? Tell me, Princess. Tell me. Tell me what it is, you know you want to.”

It felt like a dam that was inside me had been broken, water and the truth pouring out at once, “He isn’t you!”

Spencer leaned back and smiled, “There it is.”

“Stephan is kind and gentle. We don’t scream, or fight. I don’t stay up crying and yelling and cursing! But he isn’t you, and I wish he was.” I gasped for air, not realizing I hadn’t been breathing, “There! Are you happy now?!”

Spencer was grinning, just like usual, “Very.”

I rolled my eyes, “Your turn.”

He raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself, “My turn?”

“Yeah, why have you been alone the last three years Reid? We both know you can have anyone in this place. Hell, Red over there has been eyeing you up for the last hour,” I gestured to the girl a few tables away who had been stealing glances at Spencer. An action that totally didn’t make my blood boil, at all, not even a little. 

He avoided my gaze now, “You know why.”

Now I had the power back. I got close to Spencer, so only he could hear me. All my reservations were gone, I was in the black hole. The fire in my body that I hadn’t felt for so long was finally back, “I want to hear you say it.”

He got even closer, lips barely a millimeter apart, “Just like he isn’t me, no woman alive will ever be you.”

I smiled, proud of the confession. I pulled back. As much as I wanted him right now, right here on this sticky bar table, I am no cheater, and though I forgive, I never forget. 

“Another difference between you and Stephan is that he won’t break my heart.”

Spencer smirked, “He can’t break your heart, because you feel nothing for him. There’s no love to lose.”

I sighed and ceded, “You’re right.”

“Always am.”

A comfortable silence followed, and my head was spinning. I don’t know if it was from the cosmos or from Spencer. He tended to do that to me. We both had softened. I was sad, because I knew it would never work. As much as I wanted it to, it wouldn’t. It didn’t three years ago. I just needed to live with it. You need more than passion to make it work. Hell, if all you needed was passion, Spencer and I would be growing old together right now. 

“This isn’t healthy, you know?”

Spencer nodded, all aggression faded away, “I know.”

“This will never work.”

“I know.”

“No I mean like never.”

Spencer gave me a half smile, “You don’t have to convince me. I know.”

I sighed, reaching out to hold his hand in the most platonic way possible. His skin was warm. I missed the way it felt under mine. 

“I just wish it would.”

He smiled sadly now, big brown eyes meeting mine and looking through me into my soul, “So do I, Princess.”

I laughed, “And stop calling me princess!”

“Or what, Princess?” He said it flirtatiously, his hand squeezing mine.

“Or I won’t be able to stop.”

“Stop what, Princess?”

“Stop myself from kissing you right now.”

He leaned in, lips barely an inch apart again, “Then don’t.”

And with that our lips touched softly, before we parted. The kiss was familiar but foreign. I’d felt it a million times before, but this one was different because the feelings were different. We stared at each other, before I stood, holding his hand. 

“Follow me,” I said, the fire in my belly mixing with the delightful throb in my core. All reservations were gone. I needed him. I needed him right now, or I felt like I might explode. 

He held my hand as we maneuvered between the crowd and ended up in front of the bathroom.

“Bathroom? Y/N there’s so many germs that’s-”

I had to cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulling him into me. Our lips found each other so easily, like second nature. His were soft but chapped, I missed the way they felt on the rest of my body. I pulled him into the stall, and he pressed me up against a wall. His rough hands roamed my figure, landing on my hips and squeezing there. I pressed my hips into him, relishing the feeling. My hands found his hair, tugging at the roots to beckon his mouth open. He obliged, tongue moving across my lower lip and tangling with mine. Every movement sent twinges of pleasure to my core. 

When we broke apart, he looked at me, his light brown eyes seeming impossibly dark with lust, the same darkness that they held just minutes before. 

“Please, bedroom, not here,” He begged, and I silently agreed, peeling myself off of him.

I dropped a fifty on the table before stumbling out into the street for a cab. His hands never left my body, and his lips found mine every chance they got. 

In the back of the cab he was on top of me, squeezing the flesh of my butt as I left butterfly kisses and sucked on his neck. 

We showed up to my apartment, and ran inside. He pressed me up against the elevator door.  “Princess, I need you,” he whined, making me moan into his lips.

“Soon, so so soon, fuck.”

I fumbled with my keys, but soon we were inside.

“Bedroom,” he ordered before crashing his lips against mine again, this time even more feverishly, if that was physically possible. I stumbled backwards in the general vicinity of my room, not wanting to break apart from him for even a moment. He pressed his large hand into my back, steadying me for a moment and took his lips off mine. 

I whimpered, immediately missing the warmth of him on me. 

“Lead the way, princess.”

I smiled wide at the use of that pet name. It always sent an extra jolt of pleasure to my center when Spencer whispered it. 

Grabbing his hand I found the bedroom door. Before we even crossed the threshold his hands were on my body again, this time under my dress looking for panties to peel off.  

“No panties? Were you waiting for this Princess?”

I nodded and groaned as I kissed him, moving my lips down and across his sharp jaw, flicking my tongue out every once in a while and sucking lightly on spots. Just enough for him to moan, but not enough for a mark. I felt my knees hit the mattress of my bed and I fell back onto it, Spencer towering over me. 

I pulled my dress off, throwing it and my bra far away. I needed him to touch me. Now. 

His hands were cold on my chest, making my hardened nipples even harder. He pinched the buds lightly, making me arch my back into his body. 

He snickered, “Patience is a virtue, Princess.”

I groaned and pulled at his shirt, telling him I wanted it gone. 

“Too many clothes,” I mumbled against his chest as I kissed whatever skin I could reach. He did as I wished, and I sat up on my elbows to watch. His muscles contracting as he pulled it off was enough to force me to rub my thighs together, desperate for any feeling. He undid his belt too, letting his pants fall to the floor and stepping out of them. His boxer briefs left little to the imagination, not that I was complaining. The light gray material was darkened in one spot from where his precum was dripping. 

“Come back, Sir,” I begged.

His hands were on my shoulders and pushed me back so he could be on top of me again. The feeling of his chest against mine was maddening. I could also feel his member on my thigh, so close to my dripping heat, but still so far away. He distracted me with another kiss, his teeth coming out to bite my bottom lip. I moaned at the slight pain, running my hands all over his bare back. He worked his way from my lips to my jaw, leaving butterfly kisses in his wake. It drove me wild. I was bucking up into him, nails digging into his skin, sure to leave pretty red marks in their wake. He then made his way to my ear, sucking on the lobe ever so slightly. 

“You know, the ears are an under-appreciated erogenous zone,” he said between nibbling and sucking on my ear and the skin around it. 

“S-Spence,” I let out a breathy moan. Everything he did sent me reeling, clawing into his back begging for more. He really did drive me insane. His hand was back on my breast now, one arm was holding him up while the other pinched and played with my nipples. 

As he kissed and sucked the soft skin of my neck I did the same to whatever skin I could reach. I sucked on his shoulder, right where it meets the collarbone, appreciating how his skin was a little salty. 

I took one hand from his back and slid it between us, reaching down and toying with the waistband of his boxers. 

“Princess,” he moaned right in my ear as I reached in and pumped his hard cock twice, flicking my thumb over the tip to smear around his precum. 

He sat up, kneeling on either side of my thighs and I took that as my chance to pull the boxers down just enough for the pink head to bob out. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, his skin was covered in a sheen of sweat and his hair was covering his eyes, sticking to his forehead in some parts. He gave you a slight nod, and I sat up, immediately taking my tongue from base to tip. 

He took in a sharp breath as I took the tip of my tongue into the slit at the head of his cock, collecting what had formed there. It was salty, but I didn’t mind. The taste was familiar. I selfishly went down to lightly suck on his balls, squeezing the one not getting any attention with my free hand. He sighed, hands tangling through my hair, tugging at the root. 

I pushed on his stomach, “Lay down, I want to suck you right.”

I didn’t need to ask him twice. In a matter of moments I was straddling him, taking the head and sucking on it gently. 

“Fuuuck,” he whined, “You give the best head princess.”

I smiled around his cock as I took it inch by inch into my mouth. My hands took whatever I couldn’t fit and I started at an agonizingly slow pace. Speeding up as his grip on my hair got tighter. 

He moaned in approval, a slew of curse words and praises I could barely hear. I was just focused on swirling my tongue around his cock as he buried it in my throat. He bucked his hips in an attempt to face fuck me, and I allowed it. The head brushed against the farthest point in my throat, causing me to gag, saliva dripping down the sides of my face. 

“You look so pretty when you gag on me Princess.”

I hummed around him in pleasure, toying with his balls again, begging him to cum in my mouth.  Hearing him moan just made me more of a mess. 

He tugged on my hair slightly, “No way, I’m cumming on those pretty tits.”

I smiled up at him and wiped off my mouth. Spencer caught me in another kiss, this one much more loving and tender than the previous ones. He cupped my face and stroked my cheek. 

His free hand came between my bodies in the same move I had used on him, this time his lithe fingers rubbing my clit lightly, but only for a moment. 

The kiss deepened into a full on teenage make-out, our naked bodies grinding against each other. I had never been so desperate in my life, wetness dripping down my thighs. His hands were on my ass, pinching and squeezing. 

“Touch me,” I begged between kisses. 

“Lay down Princess.”

We swapped positions again and I moved up the bed to lean on some pillows. 

He kissed me, hand moving deftly to my aching core. He took the tip of his middle finger and swiped between my lips. 

I shuddered at the touch, but it was taken away so quickly. 

He leaned to my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin as he placed that same finger in my mouth. I sucked on it greedily, “So wet for me already Princess.”

He nipped at my ear lobe again, causing me to buck my hips up at him. He put his face just over mine, looking deeply into my eyes as he took one finger and put it all the way in. 

I groaned happily at the contact, closing my eyes to savor it. 

“Eyes open. Watch me.”

I opened my eyes, just as he added a second finger, curling them to find my g spot. I opened my mouth to moan but no sound came out. The pleasure of him in me was rippling throughout my touch-starved  body. 

“More Spencer, please ah- fuck- more!” I yelped. His free hand came up to my breast, kneading it and my nipple again. I moaned louder, more guttural this time. His fingers never stopped even as I clawed at his skin. My nails dragged along his back and my eyes never left his. 

If my eyes looked anything like his, then they were clouded with lust and immense pleasure. 

“Spence—“ I gasped as he added his thumb to circle my clit. 

It felt intoxicating, like I was high on all the drugs at once. The vision of his perfect face went black at the edges, that feeling I missed so much forming in my stomach. He’s the only one who could give it to me.

“Use your words Princess,” he cooed, flicking his tongue between his lips. 

“D-Don’t stop I’m close.”

He took this as a signal to go faster, his hands moving in ways I  didn’t think possible. His thumb rubbed rough figure eights over my clit that was slick from my own wetness. When my breathing quickened and I tightened around him he knew I was close, leaning in to kiss me gently as I rode out my orgasm. 

I moaned loudly into his mouth as the rubber band snapped, tingling and pulsing around his fingers.  He coaxed me through it, milking me for everything I had. When he removed his hand and licked me off of his fingers, I whined. I needed something to fill me up; I  needed him to fill me up. I felt so empty without him there. 

“Want me to fuck you, princess?” He asked, his hands coming up to brush the hair out of my face. 

“More than anything,” I managed out, still feeling delirious from the first orgasm. 

“Your wish is my command,” and with that he placed his tip inside of me, moving slowly to allow me to adjust to him. 

“Ah fuck,” we both groaned simultaneously. 

“You’re so tight,” he muttered, finally filling me to the hilt and waiting for my signal to tell him to start. 

“Fuck me, Spencer Reid, fuck me like you mean it,” I burst, and he did. 

At first he started slowly, only moving a few inches in and out. I jerked my hips up, wanting to feel more. He thrusted in and out of me wildly, his hair bouncing with every motion and sweat dripping down his face. 

I relished every movement, using my hands to tangle through his hair and my lips to suck on his neck as he leaned over me. He withdrew almost completely, then pounded back into me, the pain causing me to hiss. 

The room was filled with primal, animal-like moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin. I reached up and put two fingers in his mouth, which he licked with gusto knowing exactly what I was going to do with them. I mimicked his rough figure eights on my clit, wanting to cum with him. 

“I’m close princess,” he panted, “Can I cum on those pretty tits?”

I just nodded, unable to find words as we climbed the mountain to our orgasms together. After a few more strokes he pulled out and brought himself to his orgasm, cumming all over my chest with a sigh. He flopped down next to me, overexerted. I continued circling and my own orgasm came seconds later and much less intense than the one he had given me prior. 

Spencer stood up and grabbed a few tissues, wiping the fluid off my chest. When I was cleaned up I snuggled up against him, face to face. 

“Are we going to talk about this?” He panted, still regaining his breath. He gingerly moved some hair from my face.

I sighed, “You know I’m never going to stop loving you?”

He smiled, “You know I’m never going to stop loving you too, Princess?”

Saying those words again took the weight of the last three years off my shoulders, but deep down I still had doubts.

“We won’t work.”

My voice cracked and tears were threatening my eyes.

He kissed my cheek, and pulled me against him, “We don’t know unless we try and I promise to be less infuriating this time, Princess.”

I turned so our lips met, “So let’s try.”

[literaphobe]

mcc15

i actually haven’t rewatched this mcc for a hot second so i am prob forgetting some stuff but

pros:

- dream didn’t die at all during dodgebolt AND he was the one who made the winning shot and he pulled off a last man standing thing for… one of the rounds? first round? iirc yeah that was HOT one of my fave dream dodgebolts for SURE

- EXCELLENT survival games finale, really loved the teamwork there and the smart plays they made, dream & sapnap communication was very impressive

- not Super related to dream but quackity in battle box was GOD tier and dream cheering him on… qwt u will always be that bitch!!

- him being 2nd in sky battle despite dying ‘early’ and thinking he did bad… like sometimes people will be like THIS PLAYER DID SO GOOD IN SKY BATTLE THEY WENT CRAZY!!!! and they killed like 4 people or something… meanwhile for me that would make me go oh ok an average performance for dream JFJSJDJD

- a very sexy SOT… excellent demonstration of leadership, he made the PERFECT call to let quackity try running and he did a GREAT job debuting, dream had an incredible run himself

- BUILD MART WASN’T PLAYED!!!!

cons:

- he did SO well in parkour tag as a hunter which was nice to watch but the devastation of him not even making top 5 and getting EIGHTH when his hunting rounds were some of the best shit ever and sapnap got 5th even tho he didn’t do as well on his hunting rounds… showed how flawed the point system was at the time like it literally spurred me to write an essay remember that guys

- the fact that he faltered on games that rewarded individual performance more such as battle box and performed better in a team split game like sands of time and the reverse was sort of true for sapnap like not in a neg way it just was what it was they even argued it during minecraft basketball that one time (IM SORRY FOR BEING A DROLO ITS ONLY FOR MCC OK I LOVE SAPNAP V PROUD OF HIM N EVERYTHING BUT WHEN DREAM ISN’T FIRST ON HIS TEAM I CRUMBLE)

- dream was still really nervous bc of the prev event and. he def wished he had done better individually. like the reason they won was because of a crazy last game this wasn’t his peak battle box, ace race, or tgttosawaf performance. even when he got 2nd in sky battle it came at a shock to him and given how he died sort of early in most of the sky battle rounds like i just want him to be happy :(((( like remember when quackity told him he was too hard on himself :((((( its true

overall: that’s all i can think of to talk about feel free to include ur two cents anyway overall id give mcc15 an 8/10 but when they won that was some 10/10 shit ok like it was the first mcc i ever saw dream win and they all helped quackity get his FIRST win it was AWESOME and so cute :( very very special mcc

[elysianslove]

hi! how have you been since the hell that ensued after halloween is?

also could you do a batboys college au? like their major and how the reader would meet them and all that jazz? 👉👈

-🐥

hi anon!! i’m not sure what ur talking about @ the halloween stuff hvsdhjs but! here are the batboys hc’s! i’m not very familiar with duke thomas’s character enough to write about him tbh, so he’s not included here :( but if you want me to add him let me know!! i hope you enjoy!!

dick grayson

out of all the batboys i really didn’t know how to choose a major for him

but

i think he’d do law tbh, specifically criminal law 

his main motivation to become a police officer in bludhaven had been to be able to help people in any way he can 

i forgot if it’s canon or not but he does realize how corrupt it is and he quits but that’s another thing we won’t get into that lmao 

anyways yes let’s just stick with law 

meeting you ! 

he shares one or two courses with you

one that’s really early in the morning 

and one that’s later on in the afternoon 

dick is like a magnetic okay

anywhere he goes people are just attracted to him

like literally he will breathe 

but someone call the ambulance there’s a person that’s passed out bc of how beautiful he is

but this is an 8 am class 😃

so there’s no way ur awake enough to notice him

coincidentally he sits next to you one time

and this is the one time

you decide

yeah lemme just fkn sleep is uni even worth it 

dick definitely notices right away but he doesn’t say anything 

he thinks you look so cute passed out on your desk like this 🥺

when the professor signals the end of the class, he watches as people file out and then he just leans over and nudges you slightly 

you nearly punch him bc he scared you ❤️

he just laughs and goes “class is over” 

you just sigh like the guilt starts to hit you and your heart begins to sink

and he sees your disappointed face and just goes 

“i took a lot notes. i can share them w you?”

lifesaver in every single way dick grayson 😻😻😻

you had another class that you had to run to and you were rushing

he was like “dw i’ll just give them to you whenever i see you next” 

and you 🏃🏻‍♀️ outta there

imagine ur surprise when u enter class at 12 pm and he’s there in all his glory 

after the lecture is over, he walks up to you as you’re packing and asks if you want to go to the coffee shop nearby 

to take his notes of course

and you finally register just how handsome he is 

so obviously you say yes wtf

and the rest is history 😼

he asks you out, properly, pretty early on tbh 

so unfazed lmfao 

now you take naps on his shoulder instead of the desk 💞💞💞

soooo into pda 

kisses u when he first sees you

when you’re parting ways

when he feels like it

straight up cuddles w during lectures i’m not even joking 

it’s disgusting how cute you two are 

gets you coffee for all those 8 am classes u have w him hehe

study dates always turn into karaoke sessions somehow don’t even ask lmao

jason todd

english literature 

this is a collective agreement right? 

right

definitely english literature 

i dont even think he wants to go to uni but he’s going to waste time plus this is bruce’s money 😏🤑

your major doesn’t necessarily have to be english literature as well

but you share one class

and my god 

you two disagree on everything

like every little thing

at this point if he says something and you slightly agree internally you’ll still say some opposing shit 

that’s kinda what draws you to him 

at first you genuinely had nothing against him

but then this kind of rivalry developed for no specific reason 

but it was fun

and he was hot

so seeing him get flustered or angry made him even hotter somehow 

but then

but t h e n

you’re not sure if your professor like ships you or something

so you’re assigned a debate topic on one of the books you’d discussed in class/one of the books you’ve read outside, and within each group are the two sides for and against 

not only were you in the same team as jason, but you were on the same side as him

so you had to work with him

the audacity of the professor omg 

but jason needs this course 

and 

well you don’t but it’s too late to back out now 

you two meet in the campus library after deciding on a book with the other two of your team

and 

honestly??? 

you two work so well together 

like insanely well

during the debate you destroyed the other team 

spoiler alert 

doing so well with jason kinda made you like hot and bothered 

seeing him in his zone

sexy <3 

what i mean to say is

you both end up making out in some storage room lmfao 

or hate sex 😏

professor has a phd in matchmaking 🤔😻

i think you two don’t admit you like each other

bc you’re both stubborn as fuck

but eventually you’re literally on his lap on his couch and it just hits you

and you lean back and go

“wanna go out w me” 

and he just shrugs and goes “sure” and pulls you in for more kissing hehe

he’s not v good at the boyfriend thing tbh

you have to chase him around and be like “sir!!! did u forget about me huh!!!”

he doesn’t mean to i promise

he gets all blushy and flustered once he realizes 

only ever into pda if he’s insanely jealous 

will straight up make out w u regardless of where u are or who ur with lmfao 

he’s still getting used to the little intimacies and all 

debates in class are so much more fun now cause he finds it so hot when u get all riled up hehe

that eng lit professor is so happy for you two omg

tim drake

okay i also couldn’t really decide for him

but maybe he’d study something like physics (or maybe computer engineering/computer science) 

idk u have to have a death wish to wanna major in physics so tim’s major it is

i’m not sure how it works for every other uni but my uni requires 6 credits of sciences to graduate 

so let’s say for the sake of this hc u take like just the first level of physics to get 3 credits 

and 

you’re struggling 😃👍🏼

so you like approach your professor with a few questions before the quiz 

but tim is also there

and he kinda makes small talk while you two wait outside the office

and he asks why you’re here

you show him

and he’s like “oh i took this course w the same professor as well, i could help?” 

it’s like an angel had descended from the heavens for you personally 

you take his number and decide to meet up with him after a few hours 

he’s of so much more help than your professor would’ve been, even if ur prof is a really nice and smart person 

and he’s super like

patient with you? 

also he pays for all the coffee and snacks you’re getting after you already get them 

ur like bruh i didnt 

dont pay pls

and he’s like no im loaded let me 😼

swooning <3 

and guess what!! 

you ace the quiz out of some miracle

first thing you do is text him and he congratulates you 

and then

bc ur not blind and tim is so fucking cute

you’re like “can i take u out to thank u” 

tim’s brain stops working but ! 

he does say yes eventually 

he becomes your designated physics tutor + your amazing boyfriend

being with tim is so like

chill

it’s a very relaxed time 

lots of study dates! and cafe dates! all hours of the day whether the sun is up or not 

into pda but to a certain degree 

like yes of course have a kiss pretty baby 

but also it will only be a small peck

any time anyone passes by like common rooms you two will be there snuggling on the couch, one or both of you completely passed out 

damian wayne

business major 100% 

or a bsba econ major, which is basically the business side of economics 

he has to take over his father’s company one day duh 

also i genuinely think damian would excel in this field 

he’s a very keeps to himself kinda guy in uni

like you only ever see him in your common classes and then he just

disappears 

anyways there was this party that everyone was going to, and damian wasn’t planning to

but dick accidentally read some groupchat’s messages and was like are u going

damian went 🏃🏻‍♀️

but dick was like go and try to make friends !!!! 

and dames cant say no to his big bro 🥺 so he goes

stays in a corner on the settings app the entire time

like half an hr in he just leaves and is walking home/back to his dorm when you come like rushing up to him 

you’re zooming 

and then you just latch onto his hand and lean up to press a kiss to his cheek, whispering in his ear “this person’s been following me for like 15 mins just please go along w this” 

he kinda stiffens but when he does notice that there’s a person eyeing you he slips his arm around your waist and just carries on walking

he walks you to your home/dorm and is like

so awkward 

but it’s okay ! ur a people’s person enough for the two of you 

you thank him so much over and over 

and then you’re like 

“can i take you out on a real date?” 

and then he becomes ur real boyfriend hehe

is still super stiff but it’s only bc he’s so hyper aware of how attractive you are

and i’m super positive he doesn’t have that much experience with dating so 

you hold the reigns 

but he’s a great boyfriend all in all tbh 

super attentive, super protective, and so loving 

isn’t into pda especially on college campus but he does like subtle pda

things like linking your pinkies or giving you his hoodie to just parade around campus hehe

end note; i’m sorry if these feel rushed or anything like. i used to be an avid writer for the batboys, but i just haven’t been feeling it lately. i still love to write from them bc i know these boys so well eeeeppp. anyways feel free to request some more!!

[fantastic-bby]

ATEEZ vs. college

Pairing: - 

Genre: Headcanon 

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Swearing

Masterlist

Hongjoong 

Fine arts major with performing arts minor

Has a slightly scuffed sleep schedule but it’s decent

But has a routine that he follows most of the time 

Always on time for class and pays attention like his life depends on it

Gets teased by Mingi a lot 

Shares an apartment with Seonghwa 

Covered the apartment in cute DIYs bcs he wants to make the place more homely

Spends his money on artisan coffee at the overpriced café on campus 

Teacher’s assistant 

He’s very patient when it comes to tutoring students

President of the performing arts club and is usually the director for plays bcs the professor in charge trusts him a lot

Usually sticks to traditional scripts but likes to go a little bit more original whenever he feels like it

Uses the same tote bag everyday (one he made himself)

Dresses in whatever he’s made himself because he thinks they’re cute and he wants everyone to see his creations

Has to wake the others up for class he complains that it’s annoying but he still does it even though no one asks him to

Practically lives in the fine arts building bcs he’s there all the damn time until he has to go home

Finishes his assignments on time 

“Hwa, is this cute?”

“Okay”

“That’s not an answer, asshole”

Seonghwa

Language and literature major 

Is the only one with a good sleep schedule

Has a routine he sticks to

Never late to classes but zones out sometimes when he’s really bored

Has to wake Hongjoong up whenever he pulls all nighters studying for tests

Works at the library because it’s quiet and he moves around a lot which gives him a lot of alone time 

Has to kick Yunho out a lot

Drinks expensive artisan coffee with Joong

Part of the nature club and has plants all over the apartment bcs he thinks they light up the place

Everyday is a different bag and all of them are super stylish and also seem to hold everything

Has to bring around things like tissues, bandaids, water bottles bcs he cares for his friends

Dresses well all the time even if he wakes up late 

Part of the campus heartthrob line

The entire campus fawns over him even the single professors

Spends most of his time reading books wherever he’s comfortable usually the park or whatever bench is the most calming

Finishes his assignments early and submits them early

“But hyuuuuuung”

“Yunho, if you don’t get your loud ass out of here—” 

Yunho

Nutrition major with a dance minor

Does not have a fixed sleep schedule, he sleeps whenever he pleases 

His routine is nonexistent

He does whatever he wants whenever he wants but actually isn’t that reckless

He just doesn’t really have a routine

Late to class and also doesn’t seem to be paying attention because he’s preoccupied with a funny meme that Mingi sent him

Is usually the first to be awoken by Joong and always waits for his hyung to hang up because he doesn’t want to accidentally cut him off mid-sentence

Shares an apartment with Mingi

Drinks convenience store coffee 

Sometimes he visits the library just to tease Hwa usually gets kicked out by said man because he’s being loud

Works part time at a bakery where the owner hired him because she thought he was really sweet

President of the swimming club

Has one bag for everyday use and it’s the same black backpack with random pins on it

Wears cute fuzzy sweaters when it’s not hot and wears plain t shirts when it’s too hot for sweaters

Spends his time at the swimming pool with Mingi

Finishes his assignments right before the deadline

“Yunho, darling, how long have the muffins been in the oven?”

“Uhm…”

Yeosang

Computer science major

Does not give a single flying fuck

Sleeps whenever he wants

Does whatever he wants

No one ever sees him in class but he still gets good grades

Drinks at least 4 cups of cheap coffee everyday which makes everyone wonder how his heart is still alive

Even though he sleeps at any time, he always wakes up on time and never answers Hongjoong’s morning calls because he thinks it’s funny

Shares an apartment with Wooyoung 

He has a job but no one knows what it is because he’s never told anyone they just know it’s something he does online

Usually has to wake Wooyoung up

He just walks into his room and repeatedly calls his name until he wakes up leaves if Woo doesn’t wake up at all

Uses a simple black backpack with nothing on it 

No one on campus really knows anything about him because he strictly sticks to his circle of friends and no one ever sees him on campus unless he’s at club events or meetings

President of the robotics club 

Spends all of his time in his room when he’s not on campus

Dresses in smart casual outfits (blazers, slacks, sneakers, t shirts) 

Is never seen doing his assignments but he still manages to finish them on time 

“Woo, look  this robot I made”

“Holy shit, that’s so cool!”

“Be careful with it!” 

San 

Majors in dance 

Also kinda doesn’t give a fuck 

Shares an apartment with Jongho 

Has the most fucked up sleep schedule 

He sleeps at like 7 pm right after classes and wakes up at 3 am (like his brain is programmed on another time zone)

Picks up Joong’s morning call whenever he feels like it

Comes to class on the dot but sometimes just doesn’t show up at all

President of the dance club 

Drinks whatever coffee he can get his hands on

Spends most of his time in the public dance studio and sometimes rents the private rooms because he wants alone time 

Dresses in t shirts and sweats because he wants to be comfy

Is part of the campus heartthrob line 

The girls, the gays and the theys are in love with him and love watching him dance

Volunteers at the local pet shelter because he wants to spend time with the cats 

Likes to go to invite himself into WooSang’s apartment where he bothers Yeosang who pretends he’s not there because he couldn’t care less 

Doesn’t have a bag 

He manhandles his laptop all over the place because he really doesn’t care that much his laptop is a beast tho it handles all the shit San puts it through

Finishes his assignments whenever he wants

“San, you should be nicer to your laptop”

“It’s fineeee” 

Mingi

Medicine major 

Doesn’t ever seem to sleep 

Like ever

Disappears and reappears out of nowhere most of the time

Whenever he disappears, no one really knows where he is and he never picks up calls everyone thinks he’s finally sleeping

Because he’s always awake, Yunho always comes into his room to see Mingi either vibing or literally doing anything but sleep

Comes to class but is always doing something else

Prefers tea over coffee 

Always picks up Joong’s morning calls and greets him really loudly just to bully him 

Part of the swimming club with Yunho 

Works part time at the music studio because he likes being able to use the studios when there’s no bookings

Barely has to try to get good grades bcs his brain is so sexy big

Always filled with energy 

Is also really strong and quite unaware of his strength 

Dresses in v casual baggy clothes and always looks really comfortable

Uses his height to tease Joong and holds his coffee above his head 

Playfully wrestles Jongho regularly

Has a cute orange messenger bag that he uses all the time 

Finishes his assignments minutes before the deadline

“Whoever holds their breath the longest wins”

“Mingi, we’re not five”

“I don’t care, Yun. It’s fucking fun”

Wooyoung

Culinary major

Is always asleep 

Bothers Yeosang during the day 

Has a very relaxed routine that he somewhat sticks to

Likes to break into Yeo’s room to bother him but usually gets a book thrown at him 

Wakes up to Joong’s morning call but likes to go back to sleep afterwards

Always in class but no one knows whether or not he’s paying attention

The neighbours know when he’s laughing but he doesn’t care because he’s happy 

Works part time at a café 

Refuses to give discounts to any of his friends because he tells them he won’t get money that way except for Yeosang bcs he has a soft spot for his best friend

Vice president of the dance club 

Dresses in casual layers (t shirts, loose button ups, jeans, sneakers)

Part of the hearthrob line

The girls, the gays and the theys love his laugh

Likes to drag San out of his apartment to do anything 

Has a cute pastel backpack that he takes a lot of care of bcs he loves it 

Spends most of his time in the culinary building bcs he wants to learn new recipes so that he can cook for his friends 

Does his assignments last minute and has missed the deadline a couple of times

“Yeosang, try this” 

“Mmm, can I spit it out?”

“You fucking—” 

Jongho

Sports major with a vocal minor 

Also has a decent sleep schedule 

Drinks only coffee and protein 

Doesn’t have a routine unless it involves him going to the gym 

Early to class and pays attention most of the time

Wakes up on time so he answers Joong’s morning call just to say hi to both of his hyungs

Works as a personal trainer at the on-campus gym because he likes helping people work out

Asks San to sit on his back while he does push ups at home

The two of them are always working out together 

President of the wrestling club and the entire campus absolutely fears him 

Always wins wrestles against Mingi but only because he knows more technique Mingi thinks it’s not fair

His love language is aggression

Likes to playfully bully his friends to the point where even they’re slightly scared of him

Dresses casually 

Has a dark blue backpack that he’s had for years and is in need of a replacement

Spends most of his time at the gym or just working out in general if he’s not practicing singing

Finishes his assignments a day before the deadline 

“Make sure you’re not using your back when you’re lifting things”

“Dude, I don’t even know what muscles I use when I walk”

“You’ll figure it out”