#i am not a sex haver or even a sex-want-to-haver

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i love david tennant to death but i'm JUST SAYING that nine could've easily gotten as many bitches in s1. just saying.

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[whyse7vn]

BREAK -

[ot7 x reader]

PEACE AND LOVE 😁💗

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jk: guys i’m lost ☹️

jimin: like emotionally??

tae: or sexually?

jk: woah um

idk anymore

jin: probably psychologically

yoongi: what’s new?

namjoon: jungkook you are in your kitchen

y/n: can confirm he is in the kitchen.

yoongi: loser

jin: what’s with the punctuation lmao

jk: woah i am in our kitchen

how did i get here

good morning guys ^0^

jin: it’s 7pm?

y/n: he’s hungover.

jk: yeah T-T

jimin: not surprised drank jin’s body weight in alcohol yesterday

jk: there was a lot going on :((

yoongi: so you result to alcoholism?

namjoon: it’s better than resulting to violence!!!

y/n: hoseok can’t relate.

hobi: i said i’m sorry 😓

jin: jimin i’ve thought about it and i really think you’re projecting when it comes to this weight thing

jimin: project a vegetable

jin: project a cure for the body issues you CEARLY have

namjoon: guys

jk: ants playing ddr in my head rn

i’m so upset

also how do i take about a loan?

i want a loan

namjoon: jungkook you do not need a loan

jk: ok

i’m sorry

namjoon: jungkook you better not be crying right now

jk: i’m not crying

y/n: he is crying

but that is not important rn.

can we talk about yesterday because what the fuck?

tae: YESSS i’ve been waiting for this

whoever wants the video of hobi punching the shit out of jaehyun you have to me pay at least 4k

namjoon: what is wrong with you

tae: if you want it with sound i have to charge extra

tae changed the gc name to “HOBI GOT HANDS”

y/n: not funny.

namjoon: taehyung please

jin: can’t believe hobi fr punched him

yoongi: i can

hobi: y/n you still mad??

jin: she’s using punctuation

she’s furious ☠️

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

who tf says that

jin: OHMYGOD GET OF MY DICK FOR ONE SECOND I’M BEGGING

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

tae: is she fast too lmao

y/n: shut the fuck up taehyung

tae: okay!

y/n: my boyfriend is fine btw

if any of you actually care

yoongi: don’t

hobi: i’m sorry

y/n: you laughed after you made him bleed

yoongi: didn’t you laugh too lol??

y/n: OKAY I DID A LITTLE

but that’s before i realised hoseok hit him for real

jin: you can hit someone for fake?

tae: you can watch her smile fall after the second punch in the video it’s really funny actually!!!!!!!

y/n: didnt i tell you to shut the fuck up?

tae: you did

i’m sorry

shutting up

like rn ong 🙏🏼

🤐

jin: ?

jimin: it means on god

jin: stop talking to me

jimin: sorry just making sure you got it

slang sure has changed since 1781!!!

jin: 1781????????

jk: omg that’s that one hamilton song

hobi: there is no hamilton song called 1781

jimin: are we talking about the 1975

tae: the what

hobi: aren’t they white?

tae: they????

jimin: HAMILTONS WHITE????

yoongi: the real one is

jimin: there’s a fake hamilton??

tae: hamilton a they/them?

namjoon: you can’t say that

y/n: why are we talking about hamilton?

tae: why can’t i say that?

am i pissing off the feminists? ☠️☠️☠️

namjoon: this has nothing to do with feminism

jin: i’m a feminist

tae: did my they/them hamilton question offend you??

jin: tf does that even mean

jimin: born in 1066 doesn’t even know what pronouns are

jin: fuck you and ur proverbs

y/n: he literally said pronouns

tae: i’m a prosexhaver

yoongi: you have stds

hobi: personally i would like to shoot taehyung

jk: sex haver????

jin: virgin

y/n: he makes me sick

jimin: oh i HATE him

namjoon: deep breaths

tae: ???

wtf

why did you all just turn on me like that?

guys are you jealous of my sex having abilities?

everyone be honest now

y/n: you clearly don’t know what shutting the fuck up includes

tae: ok i’m sorry

never speaking again starting in like

an hour

i promise

y/n: how about now

tae: 30 mins?

y/n: kys

tae: stop flirting omg 🤭

yoongi: idiot

jk: WAIT OMG?

HOBI FR PUNCHED JAEHYUN??/! ö

jin: you were literally there??

jk: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM

OHMYGOD

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HEHEHE

OMG HOBI THATS CRAZY

UR CRAZY

hobi: i’m not crazy

jimin: like crazy

y/n: you think it’s funny??

jk: NO

no

absolutely not wtf

????????

hoseok why would you do that?

that’s so messed up

shame on you really

shame on you

jimin: ur pathetic actually

namjoon: anyways hobi it was wrong of you to result to violence just because you were jealous

please apologise

y/n please accept his apology you know hobi wouldn’t never want to upset you on purpose he loves and cares for you deeply

kiss and make up guys

you don’t want to fuck up our group dynamic do you???

no?

didn’t think so!!

wow would you look at that we are all friends again

smooth like butter 🧈 💛

dynamite 🧨

borahae in this bangtan shit for life 💜💜

y/n: kys

jk: KISS???????????

jin: hobi was jealous?

hobi: NO?????????

yoongi: interesting

jimin: yeah that’s crazy

hobi: I WASN’T I SWEAR

namjoon: you weren’t???

oh

my fault

hobi: yeah your fault

maybe ur just projecting lol

jimin: yeah calling bullshit

if you didn’t punch him out of jealously

what did you punch him for???

tae: it’s cuz he was like feeling her up right in front of our faces right??

have he no respect?

jk: respect no he have?

tae: stop

jk: sorry

tae: actually nvm you were agreeing with me

agree some more

jk: i agree some more

tae: see?

jk: see??

tae: what a nasty pervert freak of a man

namjoon: look in a mirror

jimin: that’s crazy because i wasn’t talking you

tae: right joon shut the hell up

jk: zip it

jimin: you as in YOU taehyung and jungkook

i was talking to hobi not you guys

jk: oh

tae: we talk for hobi

hobi: no you don’t

tae: we ARE hobi

jk: i’m not hobi

or am i?????

ohmgod am i???

yoongi: ur all so annoying

y/n: ok hoseok wasn’t jealous are you stupid??

why would he be jealous?????

hobi: right!

i was drunk

jin: i swear you didn’t drink last night??

hobi: ur not helping?

jimin: i’m telling you it’s bullshit

tae: ok now let’s talk about how that was coolest thing hobi’s ever done in his life should of tagged me in fr fr

i would of gone crazy no joke 💯💯

we would of got him so bad hobi

#dreamteam 😍

namjoon: taehyung

tae: what?

i’m just saying

y/n: say one more thing

tae: i’m sorry

sorry

SORRY 😢

jimin: so the plot thickens!!

hobi: there is not plot

there is no jealousy

jin: ok why did you punch him then

hobi: i was drunk i said that already

jin: you DIDN’T drink

guys why is he lying to us

do you not trust us???

come on step into my office hoseok

open up to daddy jin

y/n: ew???

jin: ew?

y/n: that’s what i said

jin: but in spainnnnnn

y/n: stop

jin: 🫰🏻

yoongi: hobi do you want to fuck y/n?

hobi: what

yoongi: answer the question

y/n: yoongi wtf???

namjoon: yoongi please

jk: DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER

hobi: i’m not answering that wtf

jimin: i think we all know his answer anyways

yoongi: yeah

but i want him to say it

tae: waitttt kinky

say it hoseok 😋😋😋

namjoon: can we not rn…

jimin: tae you definitely need to add him to ur stupid little group chat

tae: ummmm

it’s not stupid it’s real actually

jk: real men only!!!

tae: hobi are you a real man?

hobi: what

tae: are you real??

hobi: yeah

jk: say it

hobi: say what?

tae: i’m real

hobi: i’m real?

tae: REAL UGLY

HAHAHA

jk: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

hobi: u guys are so unfunny it hurts

tae: got you lolz

namjoon: taehyung stop talking

tae: forgive me? 🥺

hobi tried to come for what we stand for

hobi: i literally didn’t???

it was jimin

jin: hey wait what group chat??

let me in what the hell

yoongi: no

jin: ur in the gc too??

yoongi: am i?

jk: he is

tae me joon and yoongi 💓

namjoon: can you stfu.

jin: EVEN JOON??????

let me in or ur all going to hell

y/n: yeah me too wtf??

tae: jin

between me and you

your invite may arrive soon

i’ve seen your eyes wondering as of late

jin: ????

what

yeah ok nvm!

i think i’ll live not being in ur gc

and if this is about what i think it’s about

count me out

jk: aw man :/

tae: wow so many haters in this life

you’ll regret this

you’ll be begging on ur knees to join real soon

y/n: WHAT ABOUT ME HELLO????

jk: hiiiiiii ^_^

y/n: ykw nvm idc

yoongi: you do

y/n: not

yoongi: yeah ok :3

namjoon: there is no group chat

jk: ??? yes there is don’t be silly joon 😂😂

namjoon: OHMYGOD LEARN HOW TO TAKE A FUCKING HINT

can we move on

wtf why am i asking you guys

i’m the leader

we are moving on.

y/n: THIS IS SEGREGATION

jk: ohmygod is this a race thing???

namjoon not again

jimin: LMFAOOOSJDJJK

y/n: i mean i was talking about gender

but this could be a race thing

is this a race thing????

jk: OHMYGOD NAMJOON UR A SEXIST TOO????

i thought that was just jimin

jin: no ur right

jk: oh ok!

jimin: can you stop

i’m NOT a sexist ok

but hobi DID punch jaehyun

hobi: wtf is ur problem

jimin: sorry i needed to put everyone back on track xx

hobi: there is no track

jimin: no there is a track and i put everyone back on it

jk: train track

yoongi: lay on one?

tae: LAYOVER YES

i know that album

it’s really good

indigo flopped

namjoon: shut up shut up shut up shut up

tae: so like gf wyd rn? *kicks feet giggles*

yoongi kicked tae out of “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

yoongi: not sorry

jk: it’s ok i forgive you

yoongi: shut up

jk: ok

y/n: he told me we should go on a break…

jk: i had a break on my bike once

then it broke

so i had a breakless bike

and i couldn’t brake

so to stop i would just pedal into walls

my bike to this day has no breaks it makes me sad

namjoon: jungkook please just get a new bike

and y/n i’m sorry to hear about your break

jk: ok >.<

y/n: thanks ig

namjoon: wait

??????

break

ur on break

with jaehyun?

y/n: no i’m on a break with fucking usher

jin: A BREAK?????????????

jimin: WOAH WAIT HOLD ON

yoongi: is he fucking stupid???

jk: USHER???

hobi: no jungkook she’s talking about jaehyun

jk: oh

hobi: jaehyun

nct jaehyun your friend jaehyun.

jk: OHMYGOD WAIT WHAT WHATWHENDHDHDJDJD WHAT OHMYGOF OHMSYSH DKEJEJDJG SISHDJXMISSHENDODJDIDUSJEJFJDKDKFNDBDNDMDNDFNFNFNFMMF

jk added tae to “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

jk: LOOK

tae: hey guys u missed me 😁?

jk: LOOK

tae: looking

jk: LOOKSKKSKSKDKDKDDKK

tae: holy shit

y/n are you ok??

jimin: THIS IS INSANE

y/n: yeah fuck him and fuck his break

yoongi: i’ll break his neck

jin: jungkook get ur friend

jk: JSNDNDNNDJJDJDFJNDJDJDJDJD ahshshxhdnxndnxnd JAJSHDBSBDBXBXNXNXJXJXJZHHXHXBSHSHSHXHZJZJXJXJXJJXJXJJDD SHSNDNDNDNDNXNDJJDXJXJXJX DHXJDJDNDNDNXXNZN

tae: woah

hobi: but are you like actually ok???

y/n: never been better

namjoon: no fr it’s ok if you’re upset

y/n: i’m not upset

jimin: wow

so like

wow

idk how to comfort people namjoon say something

namjoon: there there?

jin: chin up!!!!!

jk: I AM ALSO SINGLE THIS IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE LIKE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE AT THE SAME TIME WOW LIKE YEAH UR ON A HREAK BUT UR BASICALLY SINGLE THATS REALLY CRAZY LIKE HAHA LOL WE ARE SINGLE LOOK AT US TWO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE TOGETHER MAYBE WE SHOULD IDK LIKE HEHEH JSJSJJSJDJ

yoongi: when are we jumping him??

i can leave now

y/n: shut up

yoongi: you coming over?

y/n: no?

yoongi: boo

y/n: i’m going to hobi’s

hobi: you are??

jimin: to fight or fuck??

y/n: shut up

jin: that’s crazy

hobi broke up a happy home

hobi: i’m genuinely so sorry

i didn’t mean to

y/n: wasn’t even ur fault don’t apologise

he was a acting weird for a while

wanted to live in denial but it’s whatever idc!!!!!!!

tae: you clearly do care and that’s ok

y/n: i DON’T

tae: y/n

y/n: taehyung

jimin: ew like why is taehyung being all serious i hate it

tae: cuz this is serious

y/n: it’s not

tae: it’s ok to be upset

y/n: i know and i’m NOT

tae: y/n

y/n: i’m not upset omg????

stop being weird i’m like so ok it’s crazy

jimin: like crazy lolz

jin: that is the second time you’ve made that joke and it was just as unfunny as it was the first time you said it

jimin: why are you keeping tabs on me and what i say get a LIFE

jin: you make me want to kms

jimin: do it

jin: namjoon get him before i get violent

namjoon: guys can you see we have bigger issues going on rn

be serious for once

y/n: i’m fine

there is no serious issue

i’m ok

no tears

no noting

i’m fine ok? ok

tae: y/n

y/n: tae stop

ykw ur pissing me off

ur all pissing me off

y/n left “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

hobi: oh wow

jin: i didn’t even do anything fr

jimin: i blame tae

yoongi: jaehyun is a bitch

jk: do you think she’ll let me kiss her now?

namjoon: jungkook shut up

tae do NOT message her

and yoongi do not even THINK about leaving your house rn

i think we need to have a group meeting or something

—

sorry this sucks i just needed a reason to get rid of jaehyun so we could move forward LMAO i’m sorry better things coming soon 😁🙏🏽

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

*Please note the use of guy yuri is in reference to the Ineffable Husbands presenting as men most of the time, I'm not trying to erase they're both canonically nonbinary.

Propaganda:

For Bingqiu: "One is a housewife and the other is a trophy wife. They both want to be each other's wife so bad (even though Shen Qingqiu would never admit it)"

"Where do I even start... Housewife x trophy wife. Every gender havers. Shen Qingqiu can't decide if he himself is wife or mommy, but is convinced his husband is a delicate lovesick maiden. Luo Binghe has self-assigned himself all of the wifely duties of an ancient Chinese wife years before Shen Qingqiu has become remotely aware of his crush. Also later in the novel he acts like a jealous girlfriend. And specifically girlfriend, like it was an important part of his arc that he stopped acting like a jealous boyfriend and started acting like a jealous girlfriend instead. This has won him his man."

"They're insane, fucking unhinged"

For Ineffable Husbands: "Well due to neil mentioning that they was plans for a fem presenting 1960s scene of the two of them that never ended up happening, there's a lot of fanart of that. Plus, they are an angel and a demon, and both technically don't follow the gender rules of humans and many other species on earth, so while they do present very masculine throughout the show, they could be any gender and therefore they seem very fitting for this.(I do apologize as I don't quite understand what guy Yuri is despite your definition so I am guessing and have no clue if they count."

"Looks like m/m on first glance but they don't actually really have gender and Crowley dresses as a woman for a good few years canonically"

"theyre male presenting in the show but they dont really have gender so they could be wlw if they wanted to"

"While both characters spend most of their time presenting as male, they are supernatural beings without any real sex or gender. Crowley appears as a woman multiple times, and one scrapped scene included both Aziriphale and Crowley as women in the 1960s. Additionally, it’s very common to find “Ineffable Wives” fanworks, with both characters appearing as women. As well as having been an immensely popular fandom ship for many years, it has been confirmed that Aziriphale and Crowley are canonically in love with each other."

"Regularly turned into women in fanart. Both Aziraphale and Crowley are incredibly gender. They have been together in some sort of way for 6000 years. Heavy yearning. Cringefail. Divorced and married at the same time. Literally an angel and a demon. What more could you want?"

"theyre literally genderless and can be anything ever!!!"

"Their genders are ineffable and they have hopelessly pined for centuries"

[phantompanties]

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

The First Meeting

pairings: incubus oc (Lucius) x fem!reader

Tags and warnings: loss of virginity, corruption kink (kind of), long tongue, cunnilungus, vaginal fingering, dick piercings, vaginal sex, soft domming, mild use of master, teasing, mild tattoo kink, monster fucking, creampie, aftercare, always pee after sex pussy havers!!!! Its important!!!

Length: 3k+ words

Part 2

You were never much of a people person, to be honest. Meeting new people was always a nerve-wracking endeavour. You yearned for a lover for a long time, but your complications with meeting strangers made things difficult. On multiple occasions you tried to muster the courage to try dating apps, but the horror stories you’ve heard made you shy away every time. It made times like right now especially difficult. When you were so unbearably horny but not even your toys were cutting it. You were desperate and couldn’t wait that long for the right person to come by and treat you right.

That led you to right now, possibly your most embarrassing moment. You scrolled a sketchy occult website on your phone, chanting an incantation in most likely very poor Latin as you were surrounded by lit candles meticulously arranged in a circle on the floor. You adjusted your sheer bra and the leather harness accentuating your figure, hoping that whatever you were about to summon would be impressed. When you finished the incantation, you waited in silence for a moment. Then another, and another.

…nothing. Not even a noise or shift in the atmosphere. You knew it was too good to be true. Sighing, you got ready to blow out the candles and go to bed in disappointment and shame. As your fingers touched the sleek black wax, the flame suddenly turned a bright blue, and the rest of the candles followed suit. You gasped as the flames got bigger, falling back on your ass so you didn’t burn yourself.

“Uh oh, nearly got your eyebrows there.” a deep voice echoed from nowhere.

“Huh!?” you gasped, looking wildly around your dim room for whoever spoke. “W-who’s there?”

The voice chuckled, the sound smooth and velvety. “Who do you think, darling? Didn’t you summon me?”

“Wh-what-” your eyes widened when on the wall in front of you where your shadow was cast, long curved horns grew from your head. You tilted your head left, and the horns followed, to the right, they followed. You heard the buttery smooth chuckle yet again as somehow a grin split on the shadow where its face would be. Suddenly, the shadow stood up from the floor on its own, and your eyes widened as it shifted into a form that wasn’t yours. A very tall form.

The mouth on the shadow moved as it began to speak. “Wasn’t it you who completed the ritual? Did you think nothing would happen? You’re a silly girl, aren’t you? This should be fun.”

You were speechless, only able to dumbly stare as the shadow manifested itself, revealing a very tall man with grey skin that faded to black at the extremities, his fingers tipped with black claws. His skin was decorated with glowing teal tattoos, and you especially noticed the ones on his belly that pointed down to his groin. Lord have mercy, there was even a diamond shape on his pubic bone. His pubic bone that was exposed by his undone pants.

You felt his clawed finger lift your head to meet his eyes, which were the same shade of glowing teal decorating his body, surrounded by inky black sclera. He smirked at you with his pierced lips. “Am I so attractive that I’ve left you speechless? I’m flattered, darling.”

You gulped. “I-is this real…?”

“Oh, I can assure you, bunny, I’m very real. I’m what you wanted, right? An incubus? A demon of the night? To be honest, your pronunciation of the incantation was a little… broken. But that’s okay baby, I know you humans don’t really speak Latin anymore. It wasn’t bad for your first time.”

Your face heated up in embarrassment. Demons are real and the first one you’ve ever met just told you that you suck ass at Latin. Good fucking start.

The demon giggled at your embarrassed face, caressing your cheek with his clawed thumb. “You’re just too cute. What’s your name, bunny?”

“(y/n)...” you mumble, staring into his hypnotic eyes.

The demon took one of your hands that hung limply at your sides, giving it a gentle kiss. “Beautiful name, sweetheart. You may call me Lucius. Mmh… did you put this on just for me?” he asks, snapping the strap of the harness on your chest. “Adorable. Good choice tonight, love. Leather makes me crazy.”

The way Lucius stared at you made flames lick at the inside of your belly. Slowly, he guided you up off the floor, his large hand engulfing yours. Good god he was tall. Your face barely reached his chest.

“Where’s your bed, love?” he asks. “Unless you’d like to do it here. I’m not picky.”

“Ah… i-it’s over there…” you pointed to the back of the room. “Let me put out the candles…”

With a swish of Lucius’s tail, all five of the candles arranged in the circle went out, leaving you in the dim moonlight.

“That works too,” you say.

Lucius chuckled, guiding you over to your bed. He sat you down on it and hovered over you, close to your face.

“So how do you want to do this, darling? I’ll do anything you ask of me. I’m bound by contract until sunrise to be here with you, sweetheart.”

“U-um…” Shit. You didn’t think this would actually work. “I… don’t know…”

Lucius’s eyes widened. “Hold on a moment…” he leaned into your neck, and you shuddered as you heard him take a deep inhale of your scent.

When he leaned back his slitted pupils were dilated much like a cat’s. “Well, isn’t this a rare surprise? A virgin, just for me. Aren’t I lucky?”

“You… can smell virginity?” you ask dumbly.

“Of course, darling. To demons like me, a virgin is like that of the ripest and sweetest of fruit. We don’t get to feed from something so delectable so often. Right now, you’re making me positively salivate, darling.”

His words sent heat shooting straight down into your groin, and you barely let out the smallest of whimpers. A small flash of a blue tongue peeked out from the demon’s lips, wetting them in anticipation. “I’ll savour this moment, bunny.”

You sighed as Lucius kissed you, his labret piercing creating a contrast of sensations between his hot lips and the cool metal. It didn’t take long for it to warm up, though. Especially when he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You moaned when you realized his tongue was not only forked but pierced as well. He chuckled, running his hands down your body. You arched into his touch, breath hitching at every caress and squeeze. 

“You’re so responsive to my touch, bunny… you must be aching for relief, you poor thing… don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

Lucius gently laid you down on your pillows, kissing and licking his way down your body. His mouth latched over your sensitive nipple through your sheer bra, wetting the fabric. His eyes glanced up, watching you bite your lip as the tips of his tongue flicked at the sensitive bud. He chuckled. “So cute… I hit the jackpot tonight.”

A clawed finger hooked the leather garter around your waist, snapping it into your creamy skin. “Such a beautiful outfit… I can’t wait to ruin it.”

You gasped as he travelled lower on your body, tracing a path with his tongue. When he got to your panties, he used his sharp claw to sever the straps keeping him from removing the offending fabric. He looked into your eyes with a mischievous glint, maintaining eye contact as he removed your panties with his teeth. Finally, you were bare to him, and he looked absolutely ravenous. 

Instinctually, you attempted to close your thighs, but he tutted in disappointment. “Ah, ah… don’t be doing that, darling… let me see.”

Lucius took your thighs in his large hands, spreading them as wide as he could and groaning in approval at what he saw. “Such a pretty pussy… and so wet already…”

You whined, hips twitching in need. Lucius chuckled darkly, sending electricity straight to your core. “I know, I know baby… you want me to make you feel good, yeah? I’ll give you what you want.”

Lucius leaned down, giving your clit a kiss. “Mmh… this is going to be a treat…”

You gave a broken moan as Lucius licked a stripe up your sopping folds, his tongue piercing giving added stimulation. You felt him smirk as he dove in, flicking, swirling and licking your clit with the tips of his tongue. He moaned at the heavenly taste, and his tattoos glowed brighter. “Delicious… mmf… I need more…”

Suddenly you gasped as you felt his tongue enter your hole, filling you more than a normal tongue ever could. Your hands flew to his glowing horns, and he groaned, grinding his hips into your mattress. The feeling of his demonic tongue fucking you like a tentacle and his piercing rubbing your walls was better than anything you’ve ever done to yourself. Lucius moaned, almost whining as he drank your nectar from the source. The knot in your belly tightens and tightens as his piercing drags over your sensitive spots, and the way his nose bumped your clit made you cry out.

“Fuck… f-fuck…!” you sobbed, pulling him by his horns into your core. The vibrations from Lucius’s moans finally sent you over the edge, and you wailed, grinding your pussy on his face.

Lucius wasted no time in lapping up the sweet honey that seeped from your folds, licking his lips in satisfaction. “So sweet… so delicious… mmf…”

“Wh… what was…” you gasped, panting heavily as you came down.

Lucius giggled, lolling his blue tongue out of his mouth. His very long blue tongue. It was so long it reached down to his chest.

“Imprethed?” he asked.

“H-how does that fit in your mouth!?” you gaped at him.

Lucius pulled it all back into his jaws and giggled. “That’s a secret, darling.” He suddenly began to fan himself. “Mmh… it’s getting so hot in here… it’s unbearable…” you watched as his clawed fingers unzipped his leather top, stripping himself bare. He smirked as you ogled the new tattoos you hadn’t seen before. In the middle of his chest was a heart with lines coming off of it like spikes, and across his chest and shoulders was a double helix decorated with three dots in each loop. On his forearms were diamonds decorated with swirls and more dots. He took your hand, guiding your fingers to trace over the lines and feel the taut muscles beneath his grey skin. It was then you noticed that his nipples were pierced as well.

“Aren’t they pretty?” he asks as he guides your fingers along the heart on his chest. “All of my pets have loved my adornments…”

“Yeah…” you gasp as he dragged your hand further down his body, over his abs and to the bulge straining his unzipped jeans. “Do you feel that? What you do to me?” he whispers. “I’m positively aching, darling…”

You swallowed in anticipation, and he grinned, showing his sharp fangs. “Allow me to free myself from these leg prisons, darling. One moment.”

Lucius stepped off the bed to kick off his pants, and your eyes widened when his cock sprung free from its confines. It was… oddly pretty. Could a cock be described as pretty? If so, his was gorgeous. Much like the rest of him, it had piercings along the underside, too. The only thing that struck you as strange was the fact that it faded to teal at the tip, much like his horns. 

“Wh… why is it blue?” you ask.

“Why is yours pink?” Lucius asks back.

The two of you stared at each other in silence for a moment before he burst into giggles. “Ah… you’re so cute, darling. I can’t stand it. I want to eat you right up… oh wait, I already did.”

“S-stop teasing me…” you whine in embarrassment.

“Aww, I’m sorry, bunny, I can’t help it… here, let me make it up to you…”

Lucius leaned back over you, kissing your lips and stroking down your body with his slender fingers. When you felt his fingers tease your dripping hole, you broke the kiss.

“W-wait… you aren’t gonna finger me with those nails, are you?”

Lucius grinned. “Of course not, sweetheart. I don’t like hurting my pets if they don’t want it…” he showed you his large thin hand decorated with silver rings, and you watched in awe as the sharp claws shrunk, becoming round and blunt. 

“Whoa…”

“Being a magical creature has its perks,” he says, kissing you and lying you back down. You shivered as his ringed fingers traced your folds, teasing your hole as they went up and down, up and down… then finally, after you whined into his mouth, he dipped a slender finger into your fluttering pussy, gently stroking your slick walls.

“Mmmh.. does that feel good, darling? Does it feel good when I rub your clit with my palm while I fuck you with my finger? Oh, you’re so wet already from just one… so cute… want me to add another? Tell me what you want, darling…”

When you whined and bucked into his hand, he chuckled. “Ah, ah, ah, bunny, use your words… I won’t know what you want unless you tell me…”

“P-please…” you gasp.

“Please what, my pet? Tell me what you want…”

“A-another finger… please… I want more…”

“Good girl… so good…” Lucius obliged, adding a second finger and picking up the pace. “Only good girls who use their words get what they want…”

You whined in embarrassment. “Lucius… mmf… stop teasing…”

“Oh, I know, I know, pet… but I can’t help it. I love it when my toys squirm for me… it tastes so sweet…”

You gripped the sheets as he fingered your pussy to the knuckle, his cold metal contrasting with your hot folds, mewling at the downright filthy squelches you didn’t know you could make. “L-Lucius… fuck me… please fuck me…”

“Ah, not yet darling… not yet. Not until you cum on my fingers…” he chuckled as you whined and bucked against his hand. “Oh, I know… I’m so mean to you… not giving my master what she wants… but I’m on the bigger side, pet… If I don’t loosen you up a little, it’ll hurt… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt my master during her first time… come on, baby, lose yourself. Cum all over my fingers… lose yourself to pleasure…”

For the second time that night, the knot in your belly tightened, fire licking at your groin and making you sob. Lucius stroked your g spot with a come hither motion, making you cry out.

“Go on, pet… let it out… let it all out for me…”

“Fuck! Nngh… Lucius!!!” you cried as you came for the second time that night.

Lucius’s tattoos glowed brightly as he absorbed your energy, cock twitching against your bare thigh from how delicious it was. “Fffuck, I’m so glad I answered your call first… nngh… I can’t hold back anymore, darling, I need more… I’m going to ravage you…”

Lucius slipped his fingers from your puffy pussy, sucking on them with a groan as he dragged his cock through your soaked folds. He grasped your chin, making you look him in the eyes as he pushed in. he bit his lip, whining at the heavenly feeling of your gummy walls fluttering on his cock. “Fuck… oh fuck, darling… you feel so good…”

You sobbed at the feeling of his cock invading your hole, feeling every dip, curve and piercing that dragged along and stimulated your sensitive areas. His bright eyes rolled into the back of his head from the sheer concentrated sexual energy radiating off of you and into him. You scrambled to grab his tattooed shoulders when he began thrusting into you like a rabbit.

“Nghhf… that’s right, darling… fucking lose it… wrap your legs around me and give into pleasure… Ohhh fuck… it feels so good… so so delicious… squeeze tighter, darling, fuck…”

Your nails drew lines in his back as he ravaged you, and tears flooded your eyes from how fucking good it felt. Every time he sheathed his pierced cock inside you and bumped your cervix was like an injection of pure pleasure.

“I feel you fluttering around me, love… nngh… you’re going to cum soon… do it… fucking cream around my cock, bunny… feed me that fucking sweet energy…”

You dug your nails deeper into his back, wrapping your legs around his waist tighter and screaming as white stars clouded your vision from the sheer strength of your orgasm. The way your walls clamped around him was enough for him to stutter his thrusts, shoving in one last time to the base and filling you to the brim with his demonic seed. He whined like a bitch in heat as he rode out both of your highs, his teal tattoo’s nearly glowing white from the sheer intensity of lust emanating off of you.

Finally, the two of you were coming down, panting and moaning into each other’s mouths as your tongues tangled together.

Lucius broke the kiss, a string of mixed saliva between the two of you.

“That… fuck… that was…” you gasped.

“That was a delicious treat, thank you, darling…” he says, kissing the back of your hand. “You did so well for your first time…”

Suddenly you were overcome with drowsiness, and you yawned as he stared at you adoringly.

“How cute… I know you’re tired, my pet, but you can’t go to sleep just yet… we need to get you cleaned up… and you need to pee."

“I-I can barely move my legs…” you whisper bashfully.

Lucius giggled, giving you a peck on the lips. “I’ll take care of you, master. After all, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt one of my pets."

[c0la-queen]

Hellooo! I just found your page and saw that you write eddsworld stuff! (It’s hard to find fics like yours) and I was reading some of it and I just had a request I wanted to ask (if you don’t mind :D) okay so imagine tords father being actually affectionate with his wife (in private of course) but not just like kisses and stuff he’s LITERALLY all over his wife and is literally not afraid to drag her into the bedroom and tries to tell tord to be like that with his future wife! Btw I love all your fics I’m still reading them now lol

Okay this is a little funny to me because I'm just imagining my version of Tord except he has zero to minimal amounts of daddy issues compared to what he has in my usual timeline. So for this ask, we're delving into Tord: Healthy Family Edition. (Also I am so sorry for being dead. I'm a freshman going to college for the first time and have been adapting to everything!! You guys' support and patience means everything to me!)

--

So we're running off the scenario I gave in my Red Leader dating headcanons. If you haven't read that, see my General Dating Headcanons post.

If you're not interesting in reading that, which I totally understand, here's a brief summary of how Red Leader and Reader met:

Reader starts out as Red Leader's personal secretary. He's notorious for having such a horrible temper that he runs through secretaries like Sarah Boone ran through lawyers (true crime joke, sorry). However, Reader handled his temper and returned it to him tenfold, earning his respect and eventually his love.

Now, in this world, Tord actually had a healthy family life. As the ask said, his father was very openly affectionate and in love with Tord's mother when in private. With Tord and his younger sister, it was what you'd see from parents in media that were happy and in love. Open PDA, frequent dates, and compliments galore. Tord's father, as the Red Leader, would shower Tord's mother in gifts - the finest jewelry in whichever metal she preferred, luxury chocolates, trips to different countries, etc. But it wasn't always money. He spoiled her in other ways, too. Filling the house with vases of her favorite flowers. Giving her massages in the privacy of their bedroom if she was sore. Doing everything in the house on days when she's especially tired. When his mother was pregnant with Tord's younger sister, his father's already heavy spoiling was increased tenfold. Tord was old enough to perceive the world at that point, so his father made sure to hammer into his brain that when his future wife is pregnant, he needs to treat her like a goddess incarnate. Tord took that to heart.

When Tord got older - about his teenage years, maybe around when his father had "the talk" with him (he had no idea Tord didn't need "the talk" and that he had been exposed to copious amounts of hentai when he was 15) - his father started to teach Tord how he expected him to treat his future wife all the time. Of course, Tord had grown up seeing how his father lavished on his mother. But there were some parts that he didn't quite understand as a child that his father clarified. Like his mother's periods! His father taught Tord that while all periods were experienced differently, there were a few different things that generally all period-havers enjoyed. I recently saw a TikTok where a woman said "however much you're spoiling your girlfriend during her period, I want you to triple it." This is something that Tord's father would say to him.

As for bedroom happenings, Tord's parents would do what good parents should do and make sure that the kids are never exposed to that part of their lives. When they're old enough to know what sex even is, Tord wants NOTHING to do with even thinking about his parents having sex. It sends shivers down his spine. For your pleasure as the dear readers on the other side of the screen, I will just say - Tord definitely got his father's genetics <3. Tord's mother was a very content woman.

Back to present day Red Leader (Tord, not his father), there are two stages to his relationship with Reader. The first stage is when they're still dating. Well,, dating in Reader's eyes. As I said in the general headcanons, Red Leader sees dating Reader as an unneeded formality. But Reader, being sensible, still wanted to take it slow instead of jumping straight into marriage. She would continue to work as his personal secretary - its his fucking army, whose going to stop him? The HR department isn't going to say anything since they're both consenting adults and any soldier who is stupid enough to try to accuse Reader of being a gold-digger is going to be cleaning every bathroom on base for a month.

Where it differs in this timeline is that Red Leader wouldn't try to keep a professional air around you in public. He'll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your torso, resting his chin on your shoulder. It doesn't matter if you're talking to another soldier about some paperwork or some other red tape nonsense. If the soldier you're talking to has any objections, they're quickly silenced by Red Leader's piercing stare. They're not risking putting their ass on the line. If you berate him for it afterwards, Red Leader will just pout and whine like a petulant child. He was getting bored doing paperwork and just wanted to hold you, how is that a problem :( He's so protective of you and is even more open about it now. He'll give you at least one body guard if you're going somewhere without him. Makes sure that you're exempt from normal soldier duties because HIS darling should only be tending to him and that's it. He openly shows so much favoritism toward you that even if you two were trying to keep your relationship a secret, every soldier was able to see it within like a week.

Once you two are married, you don't have the option of still getting to be a soldier. Red Leader will let you have whatever hobby you want - no matter how strange, niche, or complex it is, he'll fund it just to make you happy - but you're not going to be doing ANY kind of work if he has anything to say about it. Even if you just end up sleeping through most of the day, he's perfectly content to let you nap the day away all safe and cuddled up in his luxury satin bedsheets. Shows so much PDA all the time. Doesn't matter where you are or who is there. If you're in the base and some soldiers come into Red's office for something, he'll talk to them with a straight face while you lounge on his lap doing something or other. Discussion over drinks with an ally world leader of his? He'll still have you pulled flush to his side with his arm around your waist. Out in public with cameras on you? You bet your ass he'll still pull you in for a sweet, chaste kiss or press his lips to your temple as a silent reminder that he loves you.

Took all his father's advice to heart. You are the most spoiled person on the entire planet, you think. Cleopatra would be so envious with the way that you had Red Leader falling to his knees at your feet just to make you happy. Anything you want, anything at all, he'll get it for you. There has been multiple times where you were craving something specific from a certain country and Red Leader made it his mission to fly out to that country just to get you your craving. All the same kinds of presents that he watched his father shower on his mother - he would get for you, too. Jewelry in your favorite gemstones or ones that matched your eyes. Diamonds in every form, shape, and size. Clothing made of the finest imported materials. Desserts from around the world that were made for queens. Hundreds of dollars of perfumes in your favorite scents. Anything and everything just for you.

Takes your periods very seriously. He somehow knows your cycle better than you do. Tracks it like his life depends on it. He knows that your period is coming days before you're even aware that its time. The morning it starts, he's already got everything on hand. Whatever things work best for your period. A heating pad or ice packs, a bottle of Midol, and every snack and drink that you crave. He'll have the base kitchens make bulk desserts just to have on hand for you. Ice cream is already in the freezer. You're aching or bloated? The bath is already full and has your favorite bath oils added. That metal arm does wonders to massage your aching muscles. If you need something weighted for your cramps, what better than a buff soldier to lie on top of you! (If you need any kind of release, Red Leader isn't afraid of a little blood ;3)

If you ever get pregnant? Forget ever getting up for any reason other than daily exercise that's healthy for you and the baby. Even then, you're only allowed to walk around you and Red Leader's living quarters or out in the grassy training grounds with Red Leader by your side the entire time. Other than that, you are confined to bed or couch rest at all times. You are literally growing his child every hour of the day for the next nine months. Red Leader doesn't want you even thinking of doing anything other than resting and being the amazing person that you are. He'll do everything that the base doctors said would be good for you and the baby. He makes vitamin and herbal drinks for you, gets you every craving, and makes sure you're at top health. He deals with your shifting hormones without ever making a fuss. The affection is cranked to maximum - with the gift-giving having the added bonus of baby oriented items. He was never happier than when he sat on the floor of the nursery, putting together your new IKEA crib while you researched nursery themes on Pinterest in the plush chair against the wall. Not to mention, he increased base security more than ever during those nine months. He didn't want any of his enemies even sneezing within 1,000 miles of the base without him knowing about it. Not when the love of his life was more vulnerable and fragile than ever.

Tord's father in this timeline would be proud of the man he raised. Women are a gift to this world and deserve to be treated as such. Reader is Tord's entire world and he wants her to feel like it.

[its-pluto2]

A lot of people like to say radical feminists are white women and therefore white supremac*sts and whatnot. Have you not noticed that a lot of radical feminists aren't even white?

We're Mexican. We're Latin American. We're from India, from the Middle East, from Asia. We're from places where it is life and death to be a woman. Where we're targeted as criminals for protesting the injustice we live every day, where one late night might mean we won't return home, where our sex means a difference in how we're treated all our life in every aspect of it. Jobs, socializing, studies. Everything.

Take a look at Iran. At Mexico. At Korea. Do some research before you throw around words like white supremac*st and n*zi around like they mean nothing when you're talking about radical feminists, the women fighting and putting their lives on the line to stop all of this horrible, terrifying violence against us. Literally, google any of these countries next to the word "femicide" and open your eyes a little to the harsh truth (and I must warn you, if you do this, the results will be upsetting).

You guys like to tag radical feminism as this horrible trend that oppresses other movements when in reality, it's a handful of new, "progressive", "liberal" movements that are trying to demerit and oppress feminism and feminists, whether they're aware of it or not.

If your movement has to take away women's rights, you need to revise what it is you're fighting for and how you're doing it.

I am a radical feminist because I am tired of living in fear. I am tired of hearing in the news of another woman whose life was brutally ended simply because she was a woman.

We're not dying out here, we're being murdered. We're being discriminated, we're being denied safety and body autonomy and the right to choose over what happens to our bodies, we're unable to earn the same as a man for doing the same job, we're unable to express a strong character without being called manipulative or hysterical. We have so. much. bullshit to deal with simply because we are women.

And you still think our sole purpose is to target some random movement and some set of pronouns? No, honey, feminists, real feminists, have our priorities very clear.

What we don't like is that now, we have to be reduced to our organs and that we can't even freely call ourselves women because some people will be offended even by that. I cannot fathom how some people still don't realize the slap in the face that is calling women "uterus-havers" just to coddle other people. Use what pronouns you want, but don't take away women's right to call ourselves women - how absurd is that?! I can't call myself a women to not offend certain people!

Are you really telling me that, on top of having to deal with all of the risks that being a woman implies in my life, I have to not call myself a woman and instead use some odd, progressive term just so I don't offend you?

No. Enough is enough.

Women do not deserve to be silenced, on the verge of the year 2023, because other people with very specific needs and wants, want to be coddled by us. Fight for your rights, by all means, but don't try to take away ours just so you can feel better.

Get a grip on what feminism is, what it stands for, and understand that radical feminism only exists because movement after movement tries to crush everything we've fought for and everything we've achieved.

And, if you're a woman and claim to be libfem, or claim to hate feminism, or claim that feminism doesn't represent you, think again. You're only able to have access to a computer or a mobile platform to express your opinion, wear pants, and have access to basic education, among countless other privileges you take for granted, because of feminism.

I mean, come on. A woman wishing for another woman (e.g. "terfs") to be hurt and die? How awful do you have to be to wish that upon another woman? Who's the bad feminist in this scenario?

Women should support and help women before all else, because we're all each other has. You can coddle and favor men all you want, but heaven forbid, if you ever have to deal with sexual harassment, gender violence, anything related, those men you defend won't help you. They will blame you. The men who love women who hate feminism are the men who are most prone to causing harm to a woman for any reason, and you're coddling them by saying "Oh, feminism isn't about me! I believe in not all men! Death to radfems!!"

Think about that if you consider yourself "libfem" - it's a lie. It's a goddamn lie fabricated to coddle and submit to people who feel entitled to our social struggle, people who are so privileged already that they have to find problems and social causes and make up endless terms and pronouns and bullshit to justify it.

Nothing justifies you trying to silence feminism when, all over the world, no matter what country you look into, women are hunted and hurt simply because we are women.

Get that in your heads.

[knifegrrrl1312]

so i feel like how aspec sexuality connecting to abandonment trauma and personality disorders is not talked ab enough, well it is by ppl with personality disorders but i wanna talk ab it basically w my experience w bpd and being aro/ace spectrum

and i know fellow bpd havers know the feeling of being unlovable very well. For me i'm demiromantic and it would take literal years for me to actually develop a genuine romantic attraction to someone, and if when i do, that person would straight up become my fp and it would be torture pain and suffering (for me mostly)

Like romantic feelings for me is nothing fun, because its linked to my mental issues inherently i feel. And i still want a romantic relationship one day but that feeling of being unlovable and like, i'm just not suited for it (in the sense that i couldnt handle it i feel) is like,, i will just not try there is no point. I will suffer for another person always wondering do they hate me will they leave me, ofc they will there's not much i can offer even. I will end up hating the person i love and then go back to loving them and then hating them etc etc.. Not to mention amanormativity (idkkk if thats how u spell it or if thats the right term) but basically i assume people want something from me that i simply cannot give. I will never be able to have sex with someone, i will never want to, I actually just wouldn't put myself thru that for someone else and because i feel like thats all anyone would actually want from me i will just probably never want to be in a relationship. Like for me personally i'm supperrr asexual like u have no idea i've known i was ace since i was literally 10 yrs old and nothing has changed i will always be like this, and i dont mind doing *some* suggestive sexual stuff if its fun and chill but the second a line gets crossed i just want no part in it and i refuse to put myself thru that.

And i'm also very fine w being single like i only ever feel like i want a gf once in awhile but i feel completely whole just by myself and my life is objectively easier and more relaxing without romance. For me i don't think i'll actually be ready for a genuine romantic relationship until i feel like i am and that will be hopefully when i'm older lol

Idk i feel like because of the stigma against aro/ace ppl and also the experience of bpd, it enhances the feeling of being unlovable. But I want to make it clear to ppl reading this post that i'm aware that i actually am lovable, this is just a feeling. And i didn't write this to complain, and if you have the same experience as me or a similar one, that doesn't mean there is no hope for you or for me. The world is so much bigger than how my brain perceives everything. Like i do want to stress that these feelings are mostly a symptom of my mental illness lol and if you have bpd or a pd it doesn't make you unlovable, bc everyone is lovable by default yknow.

Even people who's hearts are a mouthful, like mine. And even if ur reading this and you don't have the experience of having a pd but you still have feelings of being unlovable or like, there is no hope for you in romance because you are arospec or acespec or both like me, well there is hope for everyone because the world is so much bigger than societies stigma and people are as diverse as the stars.. But lmk if you have a similar experience anywayz ppl <3

[sapphos-darlings]

this is a bit of an out there question so don’t feel pressured to respond!

for super short context i was with friends, was talking about sex, briefly mentioned how i don’t like penis / “penis-havers” and was guilted to hell and back for it (“wdym you don’t like dick?? that’s so weird” and the like).

basically - how do you get over the guilt?? i feel guilty for not liking a body part and when i say it it feels silly but i’ve spent so much time in trans spaces and i’ve been made to feel guilty before for this so it’s knocked my confidence a LOT.

You have to remember that your activism and support are two totally different things from your personal boundaries and sexual preferences. You're not furthering women's rights or trans rights or anybody's rights by having sex or being otherwise intimate with people because of the category they represent. This is not a venue of activism. This is your personal life, your intimate partnerships, your boundaries, your right to choose who you share your body with. And if that "unfairly" excludes people based on whatever arbitrary trait that they have, that's just how it is; nobody is open to dating the whole world. Nobody.

Think of political lesbians, for example. So many women have been burned by women they fell in love with who felt nothing for them but thought they were making a statement by sleeping with them or trying to date them for ideological reasons. You can't reason your way in or out of attraction, it either exists or it doesn't. When you want somebody, it's innate. You can't force yourself to want somebody - no matter how ideologically, morally advantageous that would be to your own or anybody else's eyes.

Your sexuality is your own. Your activism is for the community, for the whole. Your activism does not involve other people's access to your body, you are not a public venue or a service that everyone should have equal access to. You are a person, a human being, a private individual.

You're allowed to draw your boundaries. You're allowed to want people who appeal to you, and exclude those who don't. It doesn't matter why you're excluding them - people, everywhere, all of the time, turn others down for whatever reason ranging from physical to political and that's fine, because that is just how dating and sex work.

What matters for activism and allyship is not who you sleep with, but who you speak for, who you advocate for, whose voices you amplify. And drawing a boundary between supporting and sleeping with a group of people is healthy, actually. For example - I'll always advocate for men's right to fair treatment and bodily integrity, and I'm even bisexual for Pete's sake, but that doesn't mean that men's right to fair treatment and bodily integrity includes access to my body. Like yourself, I am not a public venue. And if it's my choice to never sleep with a man, that's my choice, and wholly unrelated to whether or not I think men are people or deserve fair treatment. I am not a society, I am not a book of law, I am not a service; I am a person.

So - if you're an ally to the trans community, that's great! That's a present and important avenue of activism, and your support is surely appreciated. But your advocacy never includes or implies access to your body or your sexuality, or even your private life to begin with, to the group you're advocating for. You're not obliged to prove your allyship by letting people sleep with you or be sexually or personally involved with you to any degree. That's a horrible concept to push for. Nobody else's rights go over your own. You're just as human as they are.

But of course, it doesn't make everybody happy; just like any sort of rejection, any sort of hearing "I don't like this kind of person, I don't like this body type, I don't think x is attractive" is always going to hit hard and many trans people particularly struggle with feeling like they're just not good enough or that their bodies aren't good enough or that they'll never find love because of who and what they are, so rejection can hurt some extra through these already present vulnerabilities and hurts. But rejection always hurts, and there is no way to avoid rejection when one person in the equation is not consenting or interested. It'll only end in one of two ways: either they get hurt when you can't deliver what you promised them (romantic love, attraction, sexual compatibility), or you get hurt when you grant them access that you didn't consent to, or everybody gets hurt. This only leads to pain and trauma.

It isn't activism to grant anybody access to you specifically. You are not a resource, you are a human being, a private person, you have a right to boundaries, you have the ultimate right to be picky about who you want to be involved with, and your orientation, your bodily integrity, your identity and your boundaries are just as important as anybody else's equivalents.

You are a person. You are not a resource.

[heich0e]

Liv you don’t have to answer this if you’re not comfortable with it but I was just wondering if you have any tips on how to have safe sex? I feel like those kinds of conversations are so overlooked in media and as a person who’s never been sexually active im kinda nervous and scared. I know having a condom it’s important but what else? Like, how to prevent infections or something like that… anyway yeah, sorry if that was an intrusive ask. I hope you have a nice day!

EDIT: i say this below the cut, but i want to add it here too i am not an expert i am just a person speaking from what i know and sharing what resources i can.

first of all please DON'T apologize!! this is such an important question/subject and i think it's very sweet you came to me with it, and i appreciate you trusting me to help!!

off the top of my head the three biggest things that came to mind were condoms (the big obvious one) but also ideally a backup birth control method if contraception is necessary, making sure you and your partner are tested for STDs/STIs (also probably obvious) and just generally are able to communicate about stuff like that, and (something that i wish more ppl talked about!!) lube. lube helps reduce friction, which prevents any tearing (both internally but also for condoms!! just make sure the type of lube you're using is ok to be used with whatever kind of condom you're using.) i've been saying for years that more ppl need to get on board with using lube because it is there to help!!

when it comes to sexual hygiene it's going to differ a lot for every person, not just depending on your anatomy but because everybody's body is different. everyone says "pee after sex to prevent UTIs!!" but the reality is that sometimes that just doesn't help—i know ppl who deal with chronic UTIs because they have a rly sensitive PH/flora and sex just fucks with it (no pun intended.) yeast infections can happen too. the most important thing is that you know this is NORMAL and is not something you need to be scared of or embarrassed about.

please for the love of god my sweet angel if you are a vagina haver do NOT use internal "feminine washes." they are BAD for you and your snatch. no matter how "natural" or "ph balanced" they claim to be they are not meant to go inside you and can rly fuck with your body chemistry. use gentle unscented soap around the area and otherwise JUST water to clean inside. (here's a link to a webpage from the royal women's hospital on dos/don'ts for hygiene! it covers everything from washing to menstrual care to sexual hygiene, but it is specific to vaginal care.)

i'm not an expert, or a doctor, i'm just a girl on the internet who's sharing what she knows with you. but i want you to be informed and feel empowered and reassured by that information, so i found some resources on safe (/"safer") sex for you in case you want to read some stuff from people who know what they're talking about.

scarleteen - this is the largest online resource for "comprehensive and highly inclusive sex and relationships education, information and support." This is an incredible and regularly updated source for info on EVERY possible subject related to sex, bodies, and relationships.

the safer sex toolbox from the american sexual health association - after skimming through this seems like a very helpful and incredibly detailed resource!

planned parenthood resources - they have pages that talk about everything from birth control, to healthy relationships, gender identity, and even sexual pleasure.

love you little friend, and i am very proud of u for asking and wanting to know this info. you're doing amazing!!

[pro-anomalocaris]

Pinned Post Time

He/him Seth or Set or Setka or Jean-Set. I have a lot of nicknames ADHD haver/survivor (depending on your POV) Over 18 Jewish (Bukharan) Linguistics + Religious Studies double major, on accident In order to answer the "are you white or not" question we need to discuss the construct of whiteness as it applies to Central Asia in your country of origin and frankly neither of us has time for that.

Fandom stuff would normally go here but I bounce from fandom to fandom. I don't believe in shipping only one thing and I think calling yourself "a Zutara" or "a Reyfinn" or whatever is ridiculous. It's internet Barbies, not a religion. It's not that serious.

DNIs get ignored but for the record, I'm pro-MOGAI, pro-endo, pro-trans, pro-intersex rights, pro-self diagnosis (even if you don't get it right, turning to your provider and going 'I have the following symptoms' is useful), pro-whatever group of lesbians is getting dragged on tumblr today be they split attraction model users or ace or bi lesbians or what have you, radical inclusionist, anti intersexism and medical abuse, anti biological essentialism, you don't need dysphoria to be trans, respectability politics are worthless, men aren't inherently evil actually, pro-interracial couples because no matter what antis say people are equals actually, and pro-kink.

If you think legal = moral and illegal = immoral, you are wrong. There are four states in the US where you can marry a minor at any age as an adult and have sex with them. That is legal. That is immoral. There are many countries where being queer is illegal. It is illegal and moral. Appeal To Legality is a logical fallacy that refuses to acknowledge anything could be wrong in the legal system. I should not have to explain to you why that's an incorrect statement.

Black Lives Matter. Stop Asian Hate. Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women deserves more attention than we're giving them. ACAB. Never Again Is Right Now. Hamas is a terrorist organization and Palestine deserves to be free from them as much as it deserves to be independent, and if you excuse Hamas committing rape, child rape, and murder, you are not pro-Palestine, because Palestinians have condemned those acts and frankly, everyone should.

Death threats, rape threats and suicide bait are always bad. They further drive people into extremism when you do it to extremists, they harm people in any scenario, and they reveal to me that you never wanted to be a good person, you just wanted to be cruel in a way that you can excuse as being 'good'. You're not good. A good person does not do these things.

If your discussions around mental health involve demonizing people who are low/no empathy or treating people with psychosis as evil, please know you are displaying no empathy and being evil. And I find that genuinely sad, but I am also going to block you.

Sometimes I'm ignoring you. Sometimes tumblr genuinely eats asks. I have asks on my main that have been there, hovering, invisible, for a year. I don't know why. But also sometimes ADHD kicks in and I mean to reply and for that, I apologize.

If you start a conversation, you do not get to cry about people replying to what you posted publicly where anyone could reblog and reply. Pretending people are "harassing" you for replying is either an attempt at using language to manipulate the situation or a sign that you are highly immature even for a minor.

If you use the "haha me no read reading iz bad lmao" excuse, you have forfeited all right to being taken seriously, not just by adults, but by children. You are also going to be incredibly easy to manipulate by everyone around you due to your inability to read with comprehension. I pray no one uses this to abuse you, but I'm also going to block you, because frankly, I don't know how to help in this situation.

I have had an anti send me CSEM in the past to "punish" me for writing a romance between a 50 year old and a 56 year old. I reported them to the police. They are now serving 30 years for possession of CSEM and if you try anything similar, I have no problem doing the same to you. (If you're wondering why I don't believe antis when they say they're protecting kids, this is why.)

Depiction isn't synonymous with endorsement. Shipping isn't activism. Fandom isn't activism. One real person is worth the death of every blorbo you and I hold dear put together.

[aropride]

TRIPS AND SPILLS MY TOXIC CHEMICALS* ALL OVER THE FLOOR OF MY BLOG

rpf is fine. weird, but fine. all fandom is weird that's like the whole point of fandom

BUT being invasive or rude about rpf or shipping etc is not fine

i unironically identify as a cat

ppl who use contradictory labels r cool. who gaf

shoplifting is fine

using she/her for gerard is fine i dont think he cares. genuinely speculating & digging into their life 2 "prove" theyre a woman is weird however. it's not our business i fear

furries are awesome

i love pansexuals. i love mspec gays. i love women who are gay men and men who are lesbians. i love trans people who don't pass and trans people who don't want to. i love lesbians and gay men who kiss each other. i love asexuals. i love aromantics. i love polyamorous people. i love neopronouns. if u disagree w any of that i dont like u

the term "narc abuse" is just a more ableist word for emotional abuse

i believe in fictionkinity and that i am fictional characters reincarnated

im a childrens cartoon watcher and in fact a childrens cartoon tumblr blog haver

i fucking hate people with proana blogs. i know theyre mentally ill and that absolutely does not excuse having a proana/"only pro for myself" blog

calling people losers for not drinking/smoking weed/having sex/whatever is mean and bad, actually

making fun of people online is mean, actually

calling people ugly is mean, actually. yes even if you dont like them. yes even if they did something bad

*theyre toxic chemicals that make people want to unfollow me soooo bad

[polyamzeal]

I don't know where I'm going with this, I think I just need to get it off my chest.

I'm a woman in a great, loving relationship with a man. However, I am also queer and would love to have more no-strings-attached sex with other women. Like, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or committed partner, but FWB would be nice, you know? Or, like, someone's booty call? That's not an unreasonable thing to want and *be open* with wanting, right?

But it's like, no matter how open I am about the fact that my husband would *not* be part of this (aside from like a quick convo so he can veto it if he's too uncomfortable for any reason), I get yelled at for being a unicorn hunter. I get banned from apps for being a unicorn hunter. I get underhanded insults about unicorn hunters in irl spaces. I get friends not wanting to be friends because I'm a unicorn hunter, even though I never hit on them at all. On top of that (and yes, I'm not a fan of this either, but it is what it is), my husband has a one-penis policy, so I get shamed and ridiculed for wanting to respect my husband's wishes, too. I don't want to be restricted to cis women only and I see how it sucks, but it feels kind of unfair that I get shit for respecting someone else's boundaries.

I guess I just wish people wouldn't act as if I'm trying to set them up with my husband when I'm not. When I'm specifically looking for things I don't get in my relationship and I openly state that aside from just saying hi to him once, they literally do not ever have to even be in the same room again. But nope, all I get is "unicorn hunter kys". The funny thing is that he finds women to sleep with just fine without ever getting these reactions, even when he mentions me. Hell, even when those women meet me, he's never accused of the same thing.

It sucks. I kind of wish my husband could just get over his fear of other people's genitals so I could just exclude cis women since that seems to be the major issue, but it's not fair to demand that he shifts his boundaries for my benefit so here we are. I guess I'm just asking this - am I really doing something reprehensible and unforgivable here? Am I just the perfect example of the cringe space-invading loser in a one-penis policy het relationship giving every polyam person a bad name by wanting to fuck a woman every now and then? Am I the stereotype of everything you shouldn't be? I've given up on all of this already and accepted that my husband gets the adventures and I don't, but I guess I just want a post-mortem on how much I fucked up here.

I swear I already answered this but it is in my inbox and I can't find a record of answer it so I am just going to blame Tumblr.

You are not doing anything wrong. I think the most important thing is just being upfront and honest about what you are looking for. Be clear and direct with people. If they insist on making up their own assumptions and accusations then their loss.

That being said, I do think your husband's OPP is quite troublesome. I don't know if I would phrase it as "respecting his boundary." I feel like a boundary would be more like "He doesn't want you to sleep with other penis-havers so if you do then he withdraws his consent to have sex with you until a week after you stop having sex with other penis-havers" or something like that where you can decide what you want to do and if it is worth it for you but how he reacts is on him. This just sounds more outright like 'rule' rather than a 'boundary'. Perhaps it is all semantics though.

Putting all that aside, I would say just be patient as you try to find woman that understand your situration. And are willing to trust you to work with your needs.

[genericwizard]

Venti :3

Ehe... under the read more for space

How I feel about this character Venti makes me unwell, he also makes me want to live so it all works out. He was my first love in Genshin and also my strongest. He is my forever favorite, even if I accept other characters may do more, be more, he is my one and only clown husband. I cried when I had to leave Mondstadt without him (and rejoiced that we'd never be apart once I rolled for him three months later). He inspired me to leave my shitty job. Character of all time to me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character I am the KaeVen CEO for a reason....... this is the only ship for the character that matters to me because I see so much intrigue. There's the mortal/immortal aspects of it but also because they are very similar characters IMO. They're both "outsiders" in their own home. People don't trust them because they're hiding behind their smile. Neither like taking credit for their good deeds or that their reputation precedes them, etc. I like the drama of "how could they ever forgive me for what I've done?" "am I worthy of being loved/ allowing myself to fall in love?" "I didn't think you of all people would understand me". And they've had more substantial moments in canon together than frankly any other Venti ship, but who's counting?

When I don't have brain worms I actually like exes zhongven a lot, I think they had a longstanding relationship that doesn't work out for various reasons, and they probably know each other quite well, or at least they used to. I also like RosaVen in a genderweird way, Rosaria realizing she thinks he's annoyingly cute and doesn't know what to do about it is fun. I also like one-sided Venlumi and Venti/Vanessa, because I know he longs for powerful women who don't reciprocate in that way... sigh.

My non-romantic OTP for this character One no one will mention- Miko + Venti friendship is S tier, I love that he gossips with her over drinks. I also prefer platonic XiaoVen, they're close but not in that way to me. As mentioned I also like Venlumi, and I'll take platonic KaeVen too since I eat crumbs. Historically I care about his relationships with Vanessa and NB but I am fixated on Venti in the current timeline so I don't think about them much.

My unpopular opinion (s) about this character Hoo boy. Well for one I actually don't like his archon design very much. I kind of dislike some of the elements that I think don't make sense on his body and also were only shown in the comic depiction, like his glowing anemo tattoos or w/e, I don't really get the point of those so I omit them in my writing. His archon design and all the discussion around it bleeds into my dislike of people who label him a tr*p or something similar/worse. Despite this, very pro Venti as a sex-haver, I don't think there's anything wrong with sexualizing him, I just have my own icks. Also pro Venti having weird gender, even if I still prefer he/him pronouns for him.

I guess I dislike that people distrust him so much. It's like, sure, he's withholding info from us, but to assume that means he has ulterior, evil motives makes 0 sense to me. I also don't like corrupted Venti for the same reason. He's fine. He just has the usual kinds of despair, from the existential crisis of his existence, perception of time, and all the loss he's faced that drive him to sleep for hundreds of years at a time. Far more tangible reasons to be "corrupted" to me than "ooooh the abyss made him Evilllll" Besides, Celestia made all that is forbidden evil, even if he is full of abyssal knowledge/power that's not a good metric of someone's morality when Celestia is our main antagonist!

I guess thinking Kaeya is his best ship is unpopular, but that's redundant ATP.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Carmen Dei: Chapter II. Or really any new story/event appearance where he's allowed to be more than a glorified emcee / convenient plot starter.

[simon-x-billy]

Simon x Billy

Chapter 11: What is my hand doing?

[Gif not mine]

Prompt: Secret relationship reveal

Masterlist || ao3 || start || prev || next wip!

RECAP: When last we left our lovers, Simon was still stuck in Brooklyn for career purposes, but at least he got to tell his besties that he is A. on a panel at Comic Con for reasons; B. moving to Italy; and C. talking to someone there. That would be Billy, but the besties think it’s Billie — so that’s fun. Billy, on the other hand, has not been told about Simon’s decision to move. But at least he finally has been told when Simon is coming back to see him — in two days. Today is not that day. Tomorrow is. Until then, the pair are inventively and intuitively making use of technology to come together again. But before we can get to that, the plot thickens/deepens/moves forward. TW: Phone sex written by someone who has never had it. If this is a hideously awful embarrassment to phone sex-havers everywhere, please leave a comment, DM, whatever. Why should they have bad phone sex when they can have better phone sex? Seriously, I ask you.

Chapter 11: What is my hand doing?

———/Simon/———

Ugh, Brooklyn. (Blasphemer! I’m calling myself out and I am a-shamed.) But it's true. Brooklyn is ugh to me right now. At least the wait is almost over. Kelly finally arranged to have me sent back to Italy tomorrow night. Like a- Well, like whatever kinds of objects get sent back to Italy.

Wait.

I rewind that thought back to where I said ‘tomorrow night,’ and this time think it with a bullhorn. TOMORROW NIGHT! Hallefrickinlujah.

The fear is that she’s probably made all the arrangements necessary to have me air dropped from a moving helicopter to get back at me for announcing I’m abandoning Brooklyn. She is truly angry at me. It became particularly apparent when I asked for help with the real estate stuff. That might have been exactly the wrong thing to ask for her help with. This will require a fitting gesture of my undying admiration, and my amazement at her next level ability to put up with me. She levels up every time I breathe in her general direction.

I’m calling Billy without even realizing it.

“Hey, man,” Billy answers. “Howeyeh?” I can hear him smiling.

“Do you have plans tonight?” I ask. “Beyond sleeping, I mean.”

“Just sleepin,” Billy replies with curiosity. I can hear him yawn at the other end and it feels endearing in my stomach. Which is weird, but pleasant. “What did you have in mind?” I can hear his smile change to a sly smirk all the way from Italy.

“I want to fall asleep listening to you fall asleep,” I admit, and immediately die of cringe. Hello, creeper. It’s too late, and I can’t take it back.

“Now, see, yeh can’t just go round sayin beautiful stuff of that sort. It’s unfair, that’s what it is. Say it again.”

“I want us to fall asleep together,” I repeat. “Even if we can’t exactly be together when we do it.”

Billy makes a noncommittal sound. “Time difference is a heartless bitch, Simon. How early can yeh manage fallin asleep?”

“Well,” I pause in frustration cuz I hadn’t thought about that at all in my internal fantasy of hearing him sleep. (Creepy? Romantic? Romantically creepy? Don’t know, don’t care.)

I offer an alternative. “Wake up just for me, then go back to sleep?”

Billy snorts right about the time I realize that that’s actually kind of a tall ask. And again, possibly creepy. Or romantically creepy. “Am I creepy? Or romantically creepy?”

“It’s more romantically presumptuous, really. But I’m setting my alarm, nonetheless. Now let me alone so I can finish prepping the zeppole. Hot pillows of sweetness sent by the Lord himself.”

“Like my own hot pillows of sweetness?” I giggle. I’m giggling.

“Er,” Billy begins. After a moment’s consideration, he clears his throat. “You bake?”

———/Billy/———

“Will yeh be wantin a tour guide and a driver for Pompeii, then?” I ask the pair before me, tryin not to yawn into the late afternoon sun as I count out the change for their beach chair rental. No less than 70, if they’re a day.

“Why? You think we can’t find our way ourselves without them? We’re more than capable, young man,” says the missus. I can see she’s just windin up for a tongue lashing. Grumpy in the mornings, could be.

Grumpy.

I head her off at the pass, picking up the beach bar’s ancient phone with a finger poised to dial. “Not in the least, not in the least. But I guarantee you’ll get more out of it with a guide to show you all the secret corners, peek inside the archaeologists’ tents, tell yeh the local lore and the wisdom of the ages.”

She relaxes. Guaranteed it was the ‘wisdom of the ages’ bit what did it.

“Ah, go on. Let me call the front desk. They’ll arrange for everything.”

“I can arrange for everything my-” she begins, pugnacious as ever.

“Martha,” the man says softly with his hand on his wife’s back. “Let the boy do his job.”

Bright eyes, big smile, Delaney. Simon would be proud of my Guest Services face, and then demand I’m lying about never attending theatre school. I hmmm inaudibly to myself.

Shocked am I, the whole thing is managed entire without another objection, and the mulish Martha and her man are sat there happily installed on their beach loungers.

Oh, Lord. Here comes trouble. “It’s to be that sort of day, is it?” I grumble.

At the very least, I have fair warnin as I can hear the trouble comin. The soft tinkle of bells at her toes announces her arrival. “Well if it isn’t the lovely and mysterious Sabina. Docked the barge, have yeh.” Land ho.

“It’s Billy, isn’t it.” Not a question. Lovely.

“More a ‘he’ than an ‘it.’” Get your pronouns right, miss.

She doesn’t deign to acknowledge my comment. I’m to be ‘it,’ then. Is she offensive on purpose, or does it just come naturally? Perhaps she’s simply gifted that way.

“To what do I owe the honor, my dear?”

“Instructions,” she says with a coolness that verges on frostbite. “For a party next Saturday night. You will come out to the boat as my guest,” she informs me, and tips her head to the side as she gauges my reaction.

Is she- I mean, she wouldn’t be- askin me out? Never.

“Bring Simon as your +1.”

“He’s the +1?”

“You be the +1 if you like that position better.” Her monstrously oversized sun hat casts shadows across her tip to toe, straw letting through tiny, bright dots of light that shift as she shifts. Just as the day I made her cheerful acquaintance.

Has it really only been two weeks? Really? That can’t be right.

“Greta will text Kelly the details, technicalities, all that,” she informs me. Kelly is Simon’s PA, so I’m assumin Greta’s her own.

“Kelly? You know Kelly.”

“Of course. She’s Kelly. People know this about her.” She waves away the question as if it’s both beneath her and boring.

“Sabina, has anyone ever described you as a piece of work? I’m meaning a work of art, acourse.”

She lowers her sunglasses and without cracking the slightest smile, winks at me. Well fuck me sideways.

“How did you know?” I ask, takin my opportunity where I find it. “It’s been botherin me ever since your show. You well knew the party was at a pan club. Why us? Tellin the two of us to come. What did you see in Simon and me that told you somethin would happen?”

Ignoring my question, she floats onto a barstool and flips her curtain of glossy, black hair behind one tanned shoulder.

I put back on my Guest Services face. “Something to drink? Might enjoy an espresso, biscotti,” I offer.

“No. I will not eat,” she informs me.

“Then what can I do for yeh, my dear?”

“Come next weekend. Another birthday party. They happen every year,” she says, lackadaisically. “The house. The boat. You know how it is.”

“Do I?”

“Maybe you don’t.”

She never answered my question, and I’m of a mind to persist. “We’ll consider it, if yeh answer me. Why did you tell us about your show in Naples? What did you see in the pair of us? How could you have known, when even we didn’t?”

“Billy.” She places her hand over mine. I use wiping down the bar as a reason to casually free it again. Watching my reaction over her absurdly large sunglasses, she gloats almost imperceptibly. “Make me a bellini.”

Sabina taps her fingernails on the bar top and takes the opportunity to study me as I pull out the peach purée. I add the sparkling prosecco and place the drink in front of her, giving her an arched eye caterpillar.

She tips her head toward me and says, “All right. I’ll tell you. Simon, you know he’s from New York.”

I nod.

“We know the same people,” she says as if that explains anything.

“And?”

“And from the cafe I saw Simon Lewis sitting in my marina.”

“Your marina?”

She bats the question away. “Of all the times Simon and I have wound up at the same parties, I’ve never seen him look at anyone else the way he looked at you.”

Fuck me.

She continues, “He wanted me to go away, deeply. Who could make Simon want such a thing? So I thought I’d have a little experiment. Nothing outrageous.” She smirks. “You couldn’t take your eyes off him. But he practically pissed a circle around you.”

“Not at all. He spent the whole time dealin with you, my darlin. And if anything, it was me as was sat there doin the pissing. I didn’t much care for the way you spoke to him.”

She laughs low. “Your expression gave you away, you know. The kiss was a test; a simple one.”

“Then what if we hadn’t been, I don’t know, swept up in the whole thing that night?” I challenge her. “What would have happened then?”

“Does it matter? Were you? Swept away? The right music at the right moment can make anything happen.” She dismounts with the tinkling of tiny bells, bellini untouched.

Before she reaches the hotel elevator, Sabina calls back over her shoulder, “Oh and Billy. Dress for Capri.”

Ah. Understood. I take a deep breath. “I’ll do the best I can.”

She nods, and departs without a word.

“Lovely to see you, too,” I mutter.

———/-/———

It’s Wednesday? I thought yesterday was Wednesday. Fuck me, an extra day. Life drags on at a snail’s pace.

Opening photos, I realize Simon’s face was the last shot I took that wasn’t of my genitals. It’s of him in the tunnel, moments before we entered the club. All bold, confident, and full of excitement, with not a clue of the direction the night would take.

When I look at him, I’ve no idea who I am anymore. I’ve never really been that certain to begin with, in all honesty.

For a man without a rudder, I’ve never needed to know who I am. Just all the whos I’m not. Not a father, not a son, not a brother, not a bother.

Alfie tells me I’m the best of friends. Cheers, mate. Nice to hear, but I’m not sure I believe it overmuch. Not when I’ve never stuck round long enough to be a good friend to anyone.

I’m a nomad. And I hate it.

I’ve only just realized that I hate it. Before Italy, before this glorious place, I’d have described my life as Freedom. Carefree, exciting, mind-broadening, instructive, adventuresome, even a right good time. But as I feel all these words strung together in my mind, I realize they’re all empty and meaningless, when it’s clear I’m the one who’s strung together. Like stringing lights about a Christmas tree. Invariably there are big holes crying out to be filled. Gaps with nothin big enough to fill them. That’s me — gaps big enough for a man to fall through. Never to be heard from again.

For certain, not a sole Delaney has ever noticed I’ve gone. Isn’t that just grand. All the times I’ve lived under one roof or another, time done for what? Some stories told over a pint at Christmas. And not the funny kind.

“Remember that cousin Billy?”

“Oh sure’n let me see now. He was the one as had the curly hair, yeah? Nice fella.”

Or the older generation? They might say, “Oh that Billy, he always was such a helpful young man to have round the house when somethin needed seein to. So helpful. Can’t remember the sound of his voice or the colour of his eyes, but he sure was helpful. Cryin shame we never had a good place to put him when it was our turn.” Sure’n that’s what they’d say.

Oh, shit. Must remember to ring Shazza and wish her a happy birthday.

———/-/———

“Vittorio, buongiorno,” I say as I enter his office.

Rosalina has just been to fetch me from the kitchen, where I’d been losing myself in the mundanity of prep work.

Problem is, I’ve also been gettin lost in too many mental images from the weekend. Just couldn’t clear my head. All good, so good.

It was all so good until Simon’s phone lit up like a christmas tree, and everything hit a wall. Just bam! Face first. A wall. (Shaped like a woman named Kelly, presumably somewhere in New York.)

It’s his career, Delaney. Quit thinkin what yer thinkin. It’s just God punching us in the nads with fate, as Simon would surely say.

Thing is, I do feel as though I’ve been punched in the testicles. I do. And I’m not sure what’s makin me feel worse — the testicles or the fact that we said goodbye immediately after my life was rocked on its foundations.

Am I bi? Never figured I was before. Does that mean I’m not? I love makin love to a woman. So, not gay per se. But not entirely straight, neither. How could I be?

So, bi?

Bein bi would explain Simon’s sudden appearance on the short list of people who’ve ever made me come that hard. Does that make me bi?

“Beelee!” The hearty voice of Vittorio greeting me snaps me out of yet another reverie. With that big-loving smile, kisses to the cheeks, an arm round the shoulder, he makes me feel welcome, and he knows how to make me feel useful. Helpful. Good at what I do. And like I contribute to this little family he’s built in his kitchen.

My smile stretches wide. Not just because I feel like smilin, but more because he deserves all the smiles. “Vittorio, you are a gentleman and a scholar.”

He laughs with a boom. “Si, certo!” Yes, obviously.

“Certo,” I agree, and indeed it is obvious. He’s wise, and kind. I hate getting attached. But I’ll hate saying goodbye to Vittorio. Ah, fuck. I’m attached. It’s too late.

“Come, Beelee. You will sit with me,” he says, opening the doors out to his private garden patio, and motioning me past. He picks up a sweating pitcher of the homemade lemonade they call limonata, made and bottled here in one of the orchard’s outbuildings. If sunlight had a taste it would be Vittorio’s limonata.

“Beelee,” he begins, once we’ve settled in. He looks out at the view and sighs. “The year you are with us is coming near to end,” he says with the most marvelous Northern Italian accent. “You are considering this with much thought, yes?” He leans back comfortably and sips his limonata in a motion he’s likely developed over decades in that chair with this view. Quite a place to talk business and no mistake.

His words finally penetrate my addled brain. “Have I thought of movin on?”

“Si,” he nods.

Movin on.

No, I have not been considering with much thought. But maybe I should. He’s right. It’s only a couple months off, innit. I’ve barely kept an eye on the goings-on in the culinary world since I arrived in Sorrento. And that is curious.

It’s curious, as every other country I’ve been I've always seen as a gig. Workin to live, yes acourse, but livin to expand my ability, my craft, my creativity, along those veins. Finding the joy in learning the tempo of life in each place. I have loved almost all of my gigs, and enjoyed the environs as much as time allowed. And yet I’m always counting down the days, weeks, and months, months, weeks, and days, well before the end for each city. Until now.

I love Vittorio. Adore him. Both as a mentor and as a man. He is a good man. Solid. Steady. Fiercely loyal and protective of the hotel family he’s built. He may have been born in the North well away from the water, but after all this time he has come to be a man of the South. Its cliffs, the sea, the vertical living with stairs to get anywhere. This is his home. Yes, he was born in Siena, but he chose to live his life in Sorrento. He chose this place to plant his roots, and settled in to live his best life.

I long to live that dream somethin awful. Some sort of permanence in this temporary life of mine. A life I could build, myself. A place of choice. A family of choice. Finding my tribe. And holding on to them. Holdin on for as long as I’m allowed to keep ‘em.

Vittorio looks at me with those intuitive eyes of his. “Qua cosa? What thing is so bad to make your face is falling?” He pretends his face has fallen to his lap to illustrate. “You are having sadness?”

“I haven’t thought much about leaving, to be honest,” I admit.

“You fall in love with Italia, I think. In you I see this, each day a little more, a little more. I am thinking the thoughts that you I should send to Firenze. You learn to cook in the North. It is, come se dice, how you say, molto bene very good y diferente with the Campania kitchens of us here.”

“Si, si, I’d like to learn the northern cuisine.” I can barely get my mouth to shape my next words. “Before I leave Italy.”

“Si. O posso Venezia. Pero non sera ristauranti che va bene.”

I laugh at such a sweeping statement of negativity from this man. “There are no good restaurants in Venice?”

“If there was good ristaurante, I send you to there. But Roma.” He rolls his r with gusto and passion for the eternal city. RrrrrrrOmmmmma. “Roma? Si, son ristauranti with the goodness I demand for to send you to there.” He nods thoughtfully. “Stefano, si.”

“Stefano Rossi?” Jaysus, good enough?

“O in Toscana, to Rodolfo.”

“Rodo Molinaro?” For serious?

“Si.”

Before I can bleat about these two utter gods of Italian cuisine, he interrupts me. “Or we take you from Italia and make you in France. Parigi - what you are calling Paris? Provence? You stay on the Mediterraneo you try Nice, la Riviara Franca.”

At least the French Riviera is just down the coast. (And that’s my first thought? How close I’d be to here?)

I try to interject, but he continues. “O in Spagna. I am having the very strong thought of Barcellona. O Siviglia. O to where you are calling Switzerland — Lucerne. You like Lucerne?”

“I’ve never-“

“You think with deeply careful thought of these places. I have thought very strong and with time that is long and full of care. These are the places you consider.”

“Vittorio. You are a dear, dear man and I cannot think of a suitable way to show how very much gratitude I have for you.”

“But your face is not a face of a man is happy,” he observes. “You are disappointing with these choices I give you?”

“No! Never, Vittorio. Not ever. I would joyfully live in every one of these cities! Florence, Rome. Paris, Nice. Barcelona, Seville. Lucerne. All of them.” Or none.

————/Simon/————

“I’d be in the air already, but I have to fit in one last fake fight with Kelly before I go. I promised to take her to brunch so we could fake-fight in person.”

“Let me guess, ‘It’s kind of your thing.’ Seems to me I’ve heard that one before,” Billy snarks into the phone. He sighs in defeat. “I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but I think I’m jealous.”

“Oh yeah? Why? Literally dying to know the answer.”

“How long do I have to wait?” he asks, sounding greedy.

“For what?”

“Before I can have you again,” Billy growls, in a tone he’d surely describe as naughty. Or at least I would describe it as naughty.

“With your moans in my ear, breath hot against my throat,” he continues. See? Naughty.

“Billy.”

“Simon.”

“Billy. What are you doing?”

“Hearing that sound you made when I licked a stripe up your neck, still salty with sweat from the club.” His voice is all gravel, low and rumbly.

“You don’t fight fair,” I whine. But in an appealing, sexy way.

————/Billy/————

I like that impatient sound. “I wish this was your hand,” I say, trying to keep the grin out my voice.

“What? W-what is my hand doing?” I hear Simon swallow at the other end.

“That twist you did — it’s like you read my mind: How to wank Billy Delaney.”

I don’t have my hand anywhere close to my cock. I just love gettin to hear him all flustered.

“Uh, um, Billy? Are you having solo phone sex right now? Is that what you’re doing? Cuz I gotta tell you-“ he breaks off.

“What do you have to tell me, Simon?”

Silence.

“And make it good,” I rumble.

“Jesus Christ, Billy.”

“No, just Billy.”

“Funny,” he responds dryly. Which acourse makes me smile. It’s the combination of exasperation, frustration, and libido all fighting for their turns to spring out his mouth.

“Is it? I thought we were gettin someplace, Simon.” I pitch my voice as low as it will go. “Someplace good.”

He lets out a whimper, then all I hear is rustling. Something clatters on a hard floor. Simon gasps, “Shit!” followed by, “Oh, thank God,” then somethin else falls with a thud. I hear shuffling in the background and angry muttering.

“Simon?”

“Wait, wait, hang on just a-“ I hear a jingling of bells, and then the sound of street traffic. People in conversation getting closer and fading away. Sirens. Loud sirens. I hear the tell-tale sound of his Converse slapping on pavement, accompanied by rapid breathing and some mumbled curses. “Come on come on come on!” I hear him whisper.

“Ey! I’m walkin here!” he says loudly, away from the phone. Followed swiftly by an angry, “Yeah, fuck you too, buddy,” under his breath. I feel as though I’m listening to every film about New York ever made.

“Hang on, just a sec,” he huffs faintly, as if the phone isn’t at his ear. I hear the jingling of keys. Everything he does is suddenly amplified, all with a strange, hollow ambience. A few loud, echoing footsteps later, and again I hear the sound of keys scraping into a lock.

“Where are you?” I ask.

“Closer to my bed than I was five minutes ago,” Simon answers. “Not there yet.”

“Where were you five minutes ago?” This is pure gold.

“The bodega on the corner.”

“Serious?” I laugh. “Why’d you turn round?”

“Fuck you, Billy.”

“Not yet.”

I hear him trip over something. The phone clearly just went thud on carpet, and I hear a distant voice, swearing, “Where are you, fucking bastard.” His voice gets closer and closer. “Oh thank fucking Christ. I thought I broke my phone. Oh my sweet baby, an angel at one ear, a devil at the other.” He pauses as he shuffles whatever’s in his hands. “Billy? You still there?”

“Oh, I’m here, Simon.”

“Ok, start talking dirty again.”

I blink.

And we’re both laughing. “I like that you make me laugh,” I tell him.

“I like that you talk dirty. Can we go back to that please?”

“You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine?” I tease.

“What does that even mean?”

“Where are you, Simon?”

“Standing at the base of my bed.”

“Naked yet?”

He chokes, “What?”

“Just wonderin. Set the scene for me, Simon.”

“Theatre school, I’m telling you, theatre school.”

“You’re thinking about theatre school at a time like this.”

“Not even a little, when you sound like this. Jesus, Billy.”

“Where are you now?” I keep my voice fluid.

“Oh! Um, not where I was a minute ago the last time you asked. No, not still there,” he says.

“Naked yet?” It all started out as a gag, but I’ve become increasingly invested in his answers.

“Shoe-less. But I’m working on it.”

“Let me hear you take off your shirt.”

“Okaaay. How?” he asks in confusion. “Shirts aren’t loud. Am I supposed to rip it?”

“You like the shirt? Cos I want to hear all the buttons popping off.”

I didn’t think he’d do it, but I clearly hear the sound of buttons set free, pinging off every surface.

“Button fly again tonight?” I ask, thinking back to how easily his jeans came undone with just a flick of his hand.

“Not tonight.”

“Let me hear the zipper when you pull it down.” I hum as I hear the zzzzzz.

“Did you hear it?” he asks, voice turning gruff.

“I didn’t think I would, but that was hot.” I thought I was teasing, but now I know I’m not. “Let me hear the material slide down your legs. Slowly, Simon. Don’t rush it.”

His phone amplifies the rustle of fabric sliding over skin as though my ear is right there. My eyes slip shut. I can picture the material being pulled slowly over his hips, revealing the V of his muscles there, then catching on the swell of his arse. Sliding over that magnificent arse. Fuck, when he runs, I bet it bounces. And the image makes me groan.

“Mmm, that sounded good,” Simon nearly purrs. He’s gone from 1 to purring in under 3 seconds. “Did it feel good, Billy?”

“Yer man’s got game then, has he?” I challenge him.

“You haven’t answered my question, have you, Billy.”

“Is the secret just to work my name into every sentence? Cos I’ll be honest with yous. It’s doin it for me.” I need more than this. Without preamble I switch us to FaceTime.

“Rude!” he squawks.

“Are you offended, Simon?” I set up the angle for him to watch. He’s gone silent. Turns out I’m clothed enough for some suspenseful stripping of my own. His face is priceless.

————/Simon/————

Merp.

—————/Billy/—————

I watch as his eyes go dark, and his expression turns unselfconscious. Hungry.

I’m more’n likely to show him whatever he wants to see, though it can be hard to actually ask for it. “What and where, Simon?”

“Mmhm that sounds nice,” he says absently.

“Nice.” That’s not what I’ve been goin for. Seems his thoughts are a mite preoccupied. “Do you know what I want to do to you the minute I see you?” I challenge.

“Um. No?”

“I am going to strip you bare after Customs if you stop for any reason except to walk straight to me.”

“You’ll be there at the airport?”

“And I will strip you bare. Right there at Customs. Don’t test me, Simon. After you’ve landed? If I see yeh doing anything?” I prompt him.

“I’ll come straight to you,” he says on a whisper.

“That’s right you will. And the moment we reach the car, I’ll press you against it, undo your jeans, and wrap my hand round you, with just enough firm pressure.”

He whimpers.

“What do you like, Simon? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

“What I-“ His eyes go blank. “Merp.”

So I continue. “Then I’ll tell you what I want from you when I get you back to the hotel.”

He whimpers again.

“I want you to strip me slowly, make me impatient. Because I’ll be dying to have you fast. I’ll have been waiting for you, wantin to take you in that tiny car, wanting to feel all of you, and lay you down. But-“

“But she’s too small,” he whispers, getting into it a bit more.

“I’d bend you over the bonnet, but you won’t let me.”

“I won’t?”

“No Simon, you won’t. You’ll tell me the fuckin luggage can wait, and you’ll drag me to your room.”

“I’ll be dragging you?” he asks, sounding confused.

“Just go with it. You’re breaking my flow.”

“Sorry,” he whispers with a grimace.

“Shhh.”

“Ok.”

“Shhh. Hear me. I’ll want to drag you to bed instantly, but you won’t let me. You tell me to slow down. Take my time.”

“Take your time? We’ve gone a whole week without each other. How much more time will we need? Are we even naked yet?”

“Shhh, Simon. See it. See me in agony, desperate for every second I can have with you again. I’ll start at one end of your body and work my way to the other. Those runner’s legs, God. All that skin up, up, following my hands with my lips, lettin the hair slide across my mouth between kisses. Show me where my lips are, Simon.”

His breath catches. “Jesus, Billy.”

“Do you want to see how close my mouth will be? I’ll show you. Watch where I start, Simon, just here. See me.”

He lets out a high puff of air. His breath rate has picked up. So has mine.

“I’ll stop and kiss here.” I circle the spot. “I want my mouth on you, Simon. The soft, warm spot behind your knee you’ve never thought about until I became the first person to tongue you there. Or here,” I whisper, drawing my hand up my inner thigh. I have one thought and one thought only: get this next shot right.

I bring the camera round, laying back to give him the long view up my body.

“Mmmfm, you have a wet spot in your briefs,” he says in a huskier voice. He’s finally getting out of his own way.

“Do you know why, Simon?”

“Why?”

“Because all I can think about is running my lips over all of this skin,” and I draw my fingers slowly up to where my thighs meet. He lets out a high breath. “Show me, Simon. Show me where my lips are.”

The image on the screen swings wildly around, showing bits of lightly furred leg, the color of his sheets, confusing body hair, and the paint on the ceiling. He grunts as he repositions himself. Suddenly, the image is swinging around to show me the path up his knee and I get an eyeful of the long view he’s giving me.

“Mmmmm, do you know what I see, Simon?” All that flesh leadin to the sight of a cock and balls from below, snug in a pair of boxer briefs, lookin monstrous huge from this vantage point.

“Yes,” he breathes. “Yes, I know ex’ex’exactly what that l’looks like.”

“Draw your hand up the inside of your thigh for me. Let me watch it, your phone followin behind the whole way up.” I give him an example to inspire him. “Tell me when to stop, Simon.”

A high moan escapes him. “W’when do you want to stop?”

“Never.”

He groans. “Take off your briefs, Billy,” he instructs me, feeling bolder. “Now.”

I smile to myself. That’s the spirit.

“For you, anything, Simon.” And I realize I actually mean that. I probably would do just about anything he told me to.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” he asks me. “The wet spot just got bigger.” He sounds terribly proud of himself, and continues with more confidence. “Oh shit, your cock just got bigger, too. God, I can see the tip peeking out of your waistband.”

I steadily reveal every millimeter until he can see the full head. “Oh God. Billy.”

“I want you naked and fucking your hand, Simon, now. Let me watch.”

Simon whines.

“Naked, Simon. Then hand.”

Again, his high puffs of breath turn into a whine. But the moment I fist my cock, Simon’s voice drops two registers — as if he knows this is the moment we really get started. He’s saying, “I want to see the tip poke out of your fist, see you drawing the hood back as you stroke.”

“Fuck yes, Simon.”

“Closer,” he demands.

I moan at the thought that he wants to see it up closer. That an eyeful doesn’t send him runnin for covers. But no, he’s enjoying being in control.

“What does your other hand really want to be doing?” Simon rumbles. “When it’s not holding the phone, what’s it holding? Or fondling? Or sliding over. Show me, Billy. Show me what you do when you’re alone.” It’s a command, not a request.

I let out a long stuttering breath. “Simon, I think you might be quite good at this. Given some more practice,” I say, as I try in vain to get my phone under control. I need a place to prop it so I can use both hands. Finally, driven by the agony of frustration, I set the phone against a pillow at the right angle and kneel with knees spread wide.

“Oh fuck shit fuck,” comes straining out of him, and he’s fully stroking himself in earnest. “Nhhhh, Jesus Billy.”

What’s he on about? I look down at myself and visualize the view from that angle. Oh God. “You, too,” I grind out. “Want to see you too.”

He gives me what I want. Lord, that is a filthy fuckin sight from that angle. My hips punch my cock through my fist and I cradle my balls.

“Fuck yes,” he moans. I look down and find just how much precome I’m dripping. I hitch my hips closer to the camera and splay my legs wider. “Oh Jesus Billy fuck,” he gasps at the sight.

“Show me,” I tell him. He takes a screenshot and turns the phone round to show me. “Show me on you, Simon.”

“Oh, right,” he breathes.

“Faster,” I tell him. “Let me hear you.”

“What makes you come, Billy? Mmmmmfffwant to see it up close,” he groans.

I reframe the phone, but the sight from this distance has got to be brutal.

“Oh Jesus, Billy,” he huffs, then “Oh God,” comes out with an urgent tone. I’m flyin in and out my fist, yet somehow he can see it all.

“No, don’t stop,” I complain as his hand stutters to a stand still. He puts the phone down on the bed below him, and squats just over it. It’s an intense view. “Oh God, Simon. That is obscene.”

“Now you,” he instructs. “I want to see both hands better.”

I try to angle more carefully so he can see more cock and less balls.

“Oh fuck,” he says in surprise. “Right there, yes. No, too far, bring it back, bring it back - stop! Perfect. Show me.”

“That’s,” I grate out, “my line.” Oh God, I feel the sensation begin to build. “Simon- Si’ nhhhh, I’m- are you-“ I can’t think.

“Yes,” he grates out, followed by a strained, “Fuuuuuck!” I’m glad he’s as close as I am. I want to see him tip over the edge while he’s watchin me do the same.

I’m fucking panting, every breath I force out comes back in gasps. “Oh God yes,” I whisper. “Simon.”

“Me, too, me, too, oh fuck yes fuck. B’Billy?”

The look on his face is all shock and awe, then all I can see filling the screen is the head of his cock pulsing spurts of come landing somewhere outside the frame.

Ho shit. Fuck fuck fuck, the heat blooms throughout my body in warning. “Oh God, fuck Simon, fuuu, can you see? I want you- watch-“ I call out nonsense. I can only focus on the rush I feel throughout my body. I come in full view of the phone and my knees buckle.

Rolling to my back and still panting, I try to remember my name and country of origin. But “Simon,” is the only word I can find.

————/-/————

Masterlist || ao3 || start || prev || next wip!

————/-/————

[l0b0t0myb0ner]

Got any clone high headcanons? Also HI!!!

oh boy do i!!!

(also a lot of the ships i include may be controversial, but theyre not problematic and gross so u dont have to worry about that :3).

jfk: hes pan. “if theres a hole, theres a goal!” -jfk, probably /hj. he genuinely felt something for joan when they dated, but he knew that she wasnt gonna stay for long. also hes a mullet-haver. sry i dont make the rules!! hes dating abe (im right about this. i am and im not arguing.)

joan: genuinely the only character in the entire show that i think is 100% only into men. i know that might get me into some drama but idc! shes only shown attraction to men!!! but also to counterpoint that, i think he’s genderfluid and doesn’t care about pronouns. she felt something for jfk, but that feeling was Horny. she really only wanted to date jfk for the sex. which, if you look at season 2, is pretty much canon. he has a fat crush on abe, still, but when jfk gets with him, she decides that she’s done with crushes and dating for a while.

abe: hes bisexual. he is and im right! his crush on joan was one of those things where you convince yourself to like someone but in reality you only think of them as a friend. he ACTUALLY has a crush on jfk but he doesnt realize that until joanfk break up (rivals to lovers moment?) after breaking up with cleo after prom, they don’t talk for a bit, but once cleo realizes she’s a lesbian she decides to befriend abe again, and the two of them plus frida form a cute little friend group and they gossip. also abe lets them give him makeovers cuz why not!

cleo: shes a lesbian. she never showed genuine attraction to a man until john dark, and even then, it was because he was actually joan in disguise. she only wanted to date these guys for power and popularity. so when frida enters the picture, cleo isnt sure how to feel. shes confused and weirded out and she doesnt know how to express those feelings. so she flirts. it starts off as a joke, like a “hey shawty bae we’re just besties but i’d kiss you” to an actual genuine crush. also she gets a better mom when shes unfrozen. because she deserves it.

gandhi: hes asexual and bi (fem pref). hes dating marie curie :) theyre cute :)!!! im not counting season 2 as canon for this, so he got unfrozen along with everyone else. he has this whole enemies thing with topher, but he doesnt consider topher his enemy. topher considers gandhi a rival but not the other way around. gandhi thinks topher should chill out a bit, but considers him as a friend.

i might expand on this later actually cuz right now im like burnt out and my brain is fried from staying up till 5am (oops.) anyways i have a BUNCH more if you want them :)