#i am not tagging these as anything else for my own sanity <3

[bernadettavonaegir]

my thoughts/reactions to some specific new merch

[catiuskaa]

this close to begging

SUMMARY: an angsty tension formed out of pent-up feelings. a mix of alcohol, changbin and you might find just the way of solving it.

WC: 1.6k

CW: swearing, angsty feelings, drinking, drunk oral sex (f rec.), mentions of degradation and size kink, use of nicknames: bubs, my love, bunny, recreational use of pussydrunk!changbin because I say so, why not, and I think that’s all, folks! (pls tell me if I missed anything!)

TAGGING! @ur-boyfiends-reading, from a fellow seolar <3 hope you like it! (feel no pressure at all if it isn’t your kind of thing tho)

[◾️☆💠☆◾️]

You hadn’t meant it. Of course you hadn’t.

You had been fed up with everyone’s bullshit in the past week. Dealing with the cons of dating an idol was usually fine, but added to the recent stress in your minimum-wage job, with your boss constanltly prancing around and making everyone’s mood so fucking crispy, roaming and firing people in several departments— including yours.

Let’s just say you weren’t in your best of days. Or… weeks.

And Changbin, well, you hadn’t had the heart to tell him just yet. Or to talk. Much to your and his despair, his schedule had also been against you seeing each other. Always full to the brim. Packed to the infinity.

You had barely seen him the past week. Maybe even the one before, which didn’t help at all with your current exhaustion.

Still, it wasn’t an excuse for the argument that stroke between both of you. You couldn’t point out who or what had started it, but the tension made the focal point of the loud discussion change.

“Leave me the fuck alone for a minute, okay!? You’re always clinging to me like a desperate little bitch.”

You froze, hands slightly trembling after those lies came out of your mouth. You hadn’t meant it, at all. You loved your smol little cuddly Binnie. You loved how you would usually wake up with his hands beneath your shirt as he pampered your face and neck with kisses, his hair messy and fluffy and his face puffy from sleep. You couldn’t figure in your head how that sentence had come off. You couldn’t understand it.

Still, for both his and your sanity, you had moved from your shared bed to the first floor, and locked yourself inside the guest’s room, which was never really used by anyone else than the rest of the members whenever they wanted to stay the night.

After you entered the spare room, you heard a ruffle of sorts and then the loud slam of the main door closing.

And since then, a couple of hours had passed.

You didn’t have the heart to text or apologize. You wouldn’t know where to start, and being honest, you weren’t sure he was going to forgive you. In your mind, that was totally plausible and justifiably so.

Where could Changbin gone? Your chest tightened, not daring to get out. What if he had left to stay elsewhere? No, Chan would’ve texted you.

Right?

You sighed, slowly banging your head against the door behind you, feeling the guilt spread through your body.

Brushing off the tears on your cheeks, you stood up, shaking your head, and decided to step out and head to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

The silence in the apartment was killing you slowly. Usually, as loud as he could be, Changbin would leave traces of where he was or what he was doing with small sounds. Like the little giggles when he was texting the members. The loud cackles when he watched instagram reels, and the proud snicker when he encountered edits of himself. The low humming when a song got stuck in his head, there it be one of his own creations or the ones he listened to. The small thuds as he practiced choreographys in his study, for tiktok trends or for Felix’s enjoyment.

Now, it was just silence as you sipped from he mug. It was probably not a good idea to have coffee past one am, but you didn’t care.

And then, you heard the struggles of a drunk man trying to open the door.

You hesitated. He was a mess when he was drunk, but now he’d probably be mad. And you kind of deserved it.

Shaking your head, you opened the door, and his body, slightly taller than yours, fell like a puppet, his head nuzzling into your neck as his arms closed around your waist.

“Bubs, y-you’re so preettty,” he sniffed. He was… crying? “Ah… I- m-missed you, sooo, so muchh…” he trailed off, his eyes teary.

You tried to craddle his face or to move him away, and failed to guide him upstairs.

“N-no!” He refused, tightening his grip around you.

“My love, you should go to bed.” You mentioned softly.

His eyes widened, and his head shot up, his hands now cradling your face.

“W-what did you just say?” He muttered. “D-don’t say that. If you… do that… n-no…”

You blinked, pouting unconciously.

“What, baby?” He shivered under your touch when your hands softly grabbed his wrists.

“Remember how… I uh… said that… alcohol… uh…”

The intense blush in his face made you almost jump in your place, your eyebrows shot up slightly.

You were unable to control a smile that creeped from underneath. “My love…” you started, and he almost whimpered. “Are you getting horny?” You whispered, and he nodded against your neck.

“You… you’re just s’prettyy… ‘n you keep wearing my clothes…” his fingers started to trail patterns, slowly riding up an old hoodie of his that you had most definetely stolen.

You licked your lips.

“Let’s get you to bed, yeah? Lemme take care of you.”

His body fell on the bed like dead weight. His eyes were closed, his features so soft you thought he had fallen asleep.

You started taking his shoes off, followed by his socks, because you knew he hated sleeping with them on.

Changbin sighed, and you stopped.

“Bubs, please,” his hand tugged your sleeve. “P-please… just. Just… this once. ‘M so sorry. I’ll fix this. I’ll do whatever I can. I’ll talk to the company or something.” He blabbered messily, and tugged your sleeve harder, swiftly taking your other arm and pulling towards him, making you fall on top of him.

He brushed a couple of stray hairs from your face, and you struggled you find a comfortable position to lie on him.

“B-bunny, w-wait.” His hands stopped your waist. “Fuck, I need you. Please. I know ‘m drunk… just…” his features scrunched up, thinking.

“Love…” you started.

“Wait, I know!” He blurted out. “Just lemme taste you.” He smiled, breathing against your lips, in a way that you could almost taste what he had drinked earlier.

“W-what?”

He whined. “You always taste s’good, bubs. Please. Binnie need this, pleaaase…” he trailed off, peppering messy kisses on your neck.

You felt him harden underneath you as you thought for an answer.

“But we had a fight, love. I don’t want you to do this and feel wrong about it tomorrow.” You said lowly, biting your lip. “Are you sure about this?”

“I know, I know. ‘m drunk, sure, but you still taste so fucking good ‘nd look like a goddess. Thinking I’ll regret this ‘s bullshit.” He mumbled against your skin.

You got lost in thought, and he took that in advantage, rolling his hips against yours.

“You said you’d take care of me,” he whimpers lowly, his voice hoarse. “Kiss me.” Changbin licked his lips, his mouth dry. “Please.”

There was an urgency, a burning desire that crashed through your body as his lips devoured yours after a shy nod. Each touch of his lips sent ripples of warmth through your body, making both of you more hot and bothered as it grew in intensity. It was a kiss that spoke volumes without uttering a word, a language of emotions conveyed through the mixture of breaths. A way of apologizing from before and a form of drunk reassurance.

The taste was a mixture of the drinks he had taken and your flavoured chapstick, tongues clashing against one another as his hands moved to your waist and turned both of you. With his figure over yours, he parted your legs with soft strokes on your thigh, leaning in, unable to separate from your lips, taste stronger and more addicting than any drink he could’ve found over at the bar.

When you broke apart, a thin strand of drool followed your lips, and without missing a beat, Changbin licked it clean. You panted, your hand on his chest as both of you stared at each other, eyes, lips, taking in the other’s untamed beauty. It was a moment suspended in time, entering your shared bubble back in what felt like months of craving.

Changbin went right back, biting your bottom lip, trailing lustful kisses down your neck, taking your and his clothes off as if they burned, nonchalantly throwing them elsewhere.

“So good, my cute little bunny… already wet, huh?” He snickered, leaving marks on your neck and trailing dow, playfully biting the inside of your thighs. “Binnie’ll make ya feel s’good.”

His kisses started to get closer and closer to your core, making your sigh impatiently, whimpering. He cooead at you, and planted a teasing kiss on your cunt.

You squirmed on your place. “B-binnie…!”

“Shhh, bunny. S’okay.” Changbin smirked slyly, dragging his tongue on you in languid strokes. He grunted when you started moaning louder, your hands now in his hair, his mouth spread wide on you.

As you started babbling in pleasure, he started making out with your sloppy cunt more vigorously, tugging at your thighs, like he wanted to be crushed by them.

“Y’know, fuck…” he moans, and it travels all through your body. “when ya said I was a desperate lil’ bitch… fuck… made me so horny…”

He stared at you from in between your legs. “Binnie’s such a desperate slut for bunny, huh?”

He spread you open with two slender finger, moaning just by feeling how small you are and how you clenched around his fingers, imagining how tight you'd be around him, and he started grinding against the matress unconciously.

He stops grinding when you moan his name and grasp his hair, and lets you ride his face as you reel in pleasure.

You whine when his kisses get too intense and he comes up, his arousal all over his lips and chin, kissing you with all tongue and teeth, allowing you to taste yourself.

“We’ll keep going in the morning,” he panted. “Can’t have enough of you.” Changbin murmured against your neck, falling asleep with you.

~kats, who wrote this while blasting ‘careless whisper’ on her headphones just to see how far she could take it.

THINK I DID OK AS MY FIRST ACTUAL SMUT?!

[priincebutt]

Better late than never, eh?? I haven't really written anything post-worthy in the past few days, so I'm coming at you with a lil snip from the last chapter of my WIP long fic, The Story of Us. I'm hoping to get back to writing this bad boy this week, maybe next, and I am excited to dive back into it. Thank you for the tags @piratefalls , @onthewaytosomewhere , @thesleepyskipper , @ninzied , @sparklepocalypse

@softboynick , @heysweetheart-writes , @indestructibleheart , @tailsbeth-writes , @suseagull04

@blueeyedgrlwrites , @stellarm !! I appreciate all of you all keeping up with me and tagging me <3 Enjoy this lil snip!

Alex comes with Henry’s name ripped from his lips, fingers digging into the pale skin of Henry’s powerful thighs, and they both collapse into each other, sticky and sweaty with lips leaking laughter as they wrap up together and match their breathing, coming down and back to themselves. Alex lifts his head to look at the clock on the bedside table and startles, reaching for his phone to confirm that it’s almost 6 PM and their reservation is in thirty minutes. So their laughter is the soundtrack as the hurry into dress pants, and each button that’s popped through a hole of Alex’s white with black gridwork oxford earns him a peck of a kiss. Henry’s just slid into the softest cashmere sweater Alex has ever felt, a deep v exposing the peaks of his collarbones and a golden chain clasped around his neck. He’s gorgeous in his simplicity, from the understated blushing pink of his sweater to the black wide legged trousers, hair still tousled from their romp, lips kiss-swollen and full. God, Alex is so in love, and it hits him like a punch to the gut as he watches Henry inspect his reflection, ruffles his hair and sighs as he gives up on creating any semblance of sanity with it. “I think you’ve given me a hickey – what?” Henry stops as he turns and finds Alex staring at him, and Alex knows the look on his face is one of absolute adoration – he feels it in the crook of his lips, the way he can’t school his features into anything but goofy heart eyes at his boyfriend. “In your own words… ‘you’re so gorgeous,’” Alex chortles as he sings the lyrics, and sways his hips a little bit, hands coming up as he dances like the uncultured man he is.

Going to tag @thinkof-england , @hgejfmw-hgejhsf , @forever-fixating and anyone else who may want an open tag!! It's late so I'm not going to dive into a super long tag list I don't think <3

[isleofair]

10 show gifs, 10 people

@seaofolives was handing out free tags for this cool game, so of course I jumped at the chance! (Thank you!!! 💚💚💚)

Add 10 gifs from your favorite shows and tag 10 people

1 - Tiger & Bunny

(Yes, that's my own gif, no, I don't know how to make them look pretty. I'm sorry)

Could I start with anything but this one? I think not. Beloved show, most beloved OTP, endless inspiration... I love you so much 😭😭😭💖💖💖

2 - Yuri!!! on Ice

I think, in spite of all that Tiger & Bunny has given me, Yuri on Ice is still my favorite show ever. It made me feel a joy that cannot be described. If you haven't seen it yet, WATCH IT. I MEAN IT. You'll be so happy that you did. 💙

3 - Star Trek: The Next Generation

My childhood obsession (not the only one, but probably the main one). I think it's a significant part of the reason I am the person I am today. Here's Data (my beloved 🥺) being even more relatable than usual thanks to his cat Spot. 💛

4 - Stargate Atlantis

This show was the nerdier, sillier younger sibling of SG-1, which was the much nerdier, much sillier child of the Stargate movie. I love all three, but Atlantis is my favorite, due to the aforementioned nerdy silliness, and to the socially maladapted dork pretending to be a cool guy pictured above.

5 - Brave Bang Bravern!

The latest thing that broke my brain. Watch it (unspoiled!!!) and then curse me forever for the bucketload of sanity you will never get back. I think you might still find that it was worth it.

6 - Starsky & Hutch

They just don't make 'em like they used to any more.

7 - Sailor Moon

Seeing this show when you're a 12-year-old girl is extremely good for your soul. (And seeing Haruka when you're a 13-year-old girl is extremely good for your future queerness.)

8 - The Good Place

I honestly think this is a show everyone should watch at least once in their life.

9 - The X-Files

Hi, teenage obsession. You and your oversized '90s suits will always be famous.

10 - Slayers

This show is so. Frigging. Cool. And a huge ton of fun. I haven't rewatched it in over twenty years... I should do that sometime.

I am tagging (with zero pressure!) @zimithrus1, @imaginatorofthings, @youngerfrankenstein, @tempkiriri, @hearjessroar, @saltedpin, @thekuraning, @horikoshi-secret-ao3-account, @pearlnareff, and anyone else who would like to play!!! 💗

[ghostlycoyote0]

Two fandom blorbos and two oc blorbos. Still holding that gun.

Oh, easy. Spoilers for the end of Skulduggery Pleasant book 3, and much vaguer spoilers for book 7 (just scroll until you see the Drow in the green cloak to skip them)

Fandom first. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain, the main duo of my absolute favourite book series, Skulduggery Pleasant. I’ll assume you know nothing about them because that lets me ramble even more

At the start of the series, Valkyrie is 12 and her uncle just got murdered as part of a plot to bring back ancient eldritch gods (of course, they don’t know that from the get-go). She meets Skulduggery when a nameless henchman (who I later found out from the wiki is called Vindick Leather) breaks into her uncle’s house while she’s staying there for the night and attacks her; Skulduggery then uses air magic to blast the front door off of its hinges, sets the guy on fire, shoots him in the shoulder, and loses his disguise in the fight therefore revealing that he’s a skeleton

Long story short, she takes his hat hostage and threatens to trample it if he doesn’t let her tag along, and now she’s his partner in crime

Sorcerers choose their own names by the way, so Skulduggery literally named himself Trickery, and this happened before he became a skeleton and it also became a pun. Valkyrie named herself partway through their first case

Great, context and exposition out of the way! I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC SO SO MUCH!! They shaped pretty much my entire sense of humour, I love them, I’ve loved them since I was 9 or so and I wanted to be like Valkyrie when I grew up. The way they bounce off of each other, the way they’re perfectly in sync, the little codes and recurring phrases they have that only have meaning to them (“the sparrow flies south for winter”, “doors are for people with no imagination”, and “until the end”). I just love them both so much

The fact that Valkyrie was willing to open the portal to the home world of ancient eldritch gods who despise humanity, just on the very slim chance he would be alive and have even the smallest shred of sanity left, after having been dragged there a year prior. The fact that Skulduggery was willing to go into complete and total isolation for eternity to protect her in the magic equivalent of cryogenic sleep if it came down to that. They would do literally anything for each other. I think I’m running out of ways to put how much I adore their dynamic into words, so I’ll sum it up as the ideal example of platonic soulmates. They’re very, very special to me

I mostly just talked about the serious side of their dynamic because I have no clue how to put the more lighthearted side into words without rattling off quotes. Rest assured, they are also hilarious

Skulduggery is also very quotable, too

Right, OC time. I have a limited selection; most OCs I made have been lost to time, either because they got attached to bad memories (like Kai Zoku, who I am only mentioning because I still think his name is great; it’s literally just the Japanese word for pirate and he was the Ultimate Pirate Captain. It’s an Ace Attorney level name pun, I love it), or because the D&D campaign they were made specifically for crashed and burned and I never found somewhere else for them to fit (looking at you, Myra.. at least I could recycle her name into my GW2 character)

Anyway! This is Kyrae, my Drow Warlock. Her campaign has been on a cliffhanger for two years and is officially coming back next month! This is a picrew, but I edited all of the colours myself. It’s not 100% accurate, but it’s the best I can do

Kyrae (no last name) is from the jungle region of Xen’drik, a continent where dinosaurs still roam and everything is shrouded in disorienting, cursed mist. Her campaign is in Eberron, a lesser-used official setting, and Eberron Drow are split into three main cultures; the Sulatar, the Umbragen, and the Vulkoori

Kyrae is Vulkoori, a culture of many tribes - some more nomadic than others - who all worship the scorpion god Vulkoor, all in different ways. In Kyrae’s tribe, he has the epithets Vulkoor the Hunter and Vulkoor the Wrathful. They honour him via skilled hunting, and when given a reason to, being so ruthless and brutal that they’ve gained a reputation as bloodthirsty. That reputation came from their enemies, but they’ve never corrected it. They’re mostly isolated, with a few good allies to trade with

Her cloak was a gift from her best friend, Ryzul, who was stung by a scorpion while they were out hunting together. He was dead before they got home. Kyrae overheard a discussion about what to do; this was clearly a sign that Vulkoor was angry with the tribe, so maybe a sacrifice would appease him. And who better, than the victim’s closest friend, who was with him at the time? It’s been implied that there was another reason for that decision, but that was said out of character, so she has no idea

She ran when she heard that, and didn’t stop until she bumped into a shadowy figure wearing a smooth, white mask, with nothing but three black crescents in the shape of a smiling face. An Archfey. He seemed surprised that she could see him, and they struck a deal. She clearly needed help, and he was incredibly bored, so he would provide that help and she would provide a good story to watch. He helped her find the only port, and she boarded a ship to Korvaire, the continent the campaign takes place on

Fast forward maybe 20 minutes after stepping off of the boat. Kyrae caught a goblin child pickpocketing her, which lead to a guard attempting to throw the goblin off of a ledge, which of course lead to combat. Kyrae wasn’t having that, no harm had actually been done. For her first turn in the first combat in her first hour of being on this continent, she had her familiar, Vanguard (a winged mongoose who was summoned on the boat ride, more on him later), barrel into the guard and send him hurtling off the ledge. The rest of the party saw the fight break out, helped her, and she just kind of started following them because no one objected. They’re her tribe now, and her entire sense of identity, morality, and purpose is based on them, what she thinks they would or would not approve of, etc

So, Vanguard. A winged mongoose. The wings don’t have much significance, I had a choice between a familiar that can fly or a familiar that can swim really fast. They’re feathered, but I was so indecisive about what they actually look like that I ended up deciding they’re from a different bird every time he’s summoned. Now, the other half of his description is way more important, and I spent SO LONG deciding on it. I didn’t concern myself with specific species because then I would have never settled on one and he’s technically a Fey anyway, but. A mongoose is not only an animal Kyrae could have reasonably seen before, but they’re known for resisting venom and fighting venomous animals. Kyrae just turned her back on a scorpion god. It’s simple, but I think I’m clever. This art is, as always, by @prince-frederic

LOOK AT HIM. I LOVE HIM. MY SON

I could also talk about everything Kyrae is now dealing with and the trauma that’s happened, but I think that’s enough paragraphs about her for now /lh

I’ve already explained Sigurd’s full backstory once or twice here, so I think I’ll pick Vivian for my next OC

This is Vivian Harker, a Bloodborne OC! The token is a picrew that I did the colours for again, and the art is once again by Milo

I’ll pull back the curtain a bit here; she was inspired by Hammerlock! More specifically, it went like this:

Hammerlock would be really fun to have in Bloodborne, but I obviously can’t just take an existing character and use him in this TTRPG. It boils down to someone having the time of their life fighting the horrible monstrosities and maybe writing things down about them - can’t take cool trophies when you need to stay mobile. How do I justify that in such a dark setting? Maybe their dad was a hunter and they’ve grown up hearing stories about it, but they have no idea what they’re actually getting themselves into!

The end result is Vivian, who’s thrilled to be playing out the stories she’s grown up with now, and is filling out a sketchbook (with suspiciously red ink) along the way. She became a 16 year old white girl because she was made for a TTRPG campaign, and I can’t change my voice very much. She has no idea that when her father told those stories, he left out the traumatic parts

Daniel Harker was a fairly accomplished hunter. I say was, because this time, he refused to leave home to hunt. That was the first sign that something wasn’t right. The rest were little things, like teeth that are slightly sharper than before, eyes that reflect light like a cat’s. Little things, that indicated some kind of transformation was coming

Vivian could tell. She knew that the monsters used to be people, that hunters get affected the worst of all. She couldn’t get answers, though. So she took his equipment - the clothes a little too big for her - and left only a note to explain where she had gone

She’s thrilled to be here, to actually be fighting these creatures she’s been told about so many times, to be slowly filling her book with sketches and notes, but time is limited. She just doesn’t know how limited

The other, crucial thing she doesn’t know, is that there are no happy endings to be had in Yharnam

AND THEN THE DM GHOSTED ME SO SHE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO DEVELOP OR ACTUALLY EXIST. SHE WAS OLDER THAN ME WHEN I MADE HER. THAT’S HOW LONG SHE’S BEEN IN STASIS

Anyway. Two fandom blorbos and two OCs!

[mikelogan]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

i was tagged by @danieljradcliffe (tysm!)

1. Are you named after anyone? my middle name is the same as my mom's middle name, and i had a great-great aunt and a great-great grandma (on opposite sides of the family) that had it as a first name. my parents chose my first name bc garth brooks had recently named his daughter that after james taylor so i like to think i'm indirectly named after james taylor lol

2. When was the last time you cried? i teared up during a specific part of tfothou, but the last time i actually cried was when my parents and i finished rewatching bly manor and i sobbed on the couch

3. Do you have kids? abso-fuckin-lutely not

4. What sports do you play/have played? i do not enjoy the sportsball, but my parents made me play basketball in middle school and in my freshman year of high school, i made it through half a season of softball before permanently injuring both of my feet! i do play disc golf now with my dad, maybe once a week?

5. Do you use sarcasm? it's my native language

6. What's the first thing you notice about people? honestly, probably what they're wearing? and then i pay more attention to their face lol

7. What’s your eye color? blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings? right now, scary movies. but scary movies can still have happy endings! but i also don't mind unhappy endings either.

9. Any talents? define talent... i can wiggle both of my ears (and my right one on its own), i sing, am outstanding in the category of "how many chronic illnesses can we shove into one tired bitch," and uh idk i can't think of anything else

10. Where were you born? in my hometown, where i still currently live

11. What are your hobbies? wasting my life away on tungle dot hell, making gifs, bingewatching shows and movies, hyperfixating on old television shows no one cares about anymore, handlettering, disc golf, writing, etc.

12. Do you have any pets? i have two cats that are the loves of my life and my family has a dog that barks at everything all the time and tears my last little bits of sanity to shreds (i still love him)

13. How tall are you? 5'4"

14. Favorite subject in school? english/creative writing

15. Dream job? i do not dream of labor but boy would i sure like to get the ball rolling on long-term disability and ssdi

no pressure tags (as always): @laurabenanti @laurensgraham @jackharkness @divorcedmalewife @thatsjustdandy @matttheratking @sculien @azrphales @antlerqueer @heroeddiemunson @lucydonato @j0el-miller @swiftispunk @sophiedevreaux @natscatorrcio

[everyday-normal-medibot]

HELLO! YOU CAN CALL ME DOC. I AM JUST YOUR AVERAGE RED MEDIC ROBOT. NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT ME!

I LIKE READING, AND TAKING LONG WALKS, AND EATING MONEY, AS ANY OTHER ROBOT WOULD. THESE ARE NORMAL ACTIVITIES, YES!

I ACKNOWLEDGE THESE ROBOTS’ EXISTENCE:

OTTO ( @pinniped-medibots ) - FRIENDBOY!!

REDI ( @physically-artificial-medic ) - WE’RE BEST FRIENDS! I THINK.

{OOC}

Hello!! I’m Zinder, and I own this blog :3 he/him please and thanks

My main account is @si11ybatz

My other RP blogs include:

@pyromanic-royal

Whenever I am OCC I use {these brackets}!!

Now, on Doc…

Doc is a red medibot. He uses he/him, and he’s around 14 years old mentally.

Doc claims to be a very normal, average medibot who’s got nothing substantial going on. But deep down, Doc is literally batshit insane. He’s clinging to the last strands of sanity he’s managed to retain.

Doc is just wacky and strange all over; he has weird ideas and theories about everything, and he is obsessed with robot anatomy. His dream is to study, experiment on, and dissect robots, pushing them to their limits. But, this isn’t with the intent to torture or anything. This is all driven by pure curiosity, of course no one else really knows this though.

Caution!!

Doc has a typing quirk that is especially hard to read at times! I will provide a translation below particularly difficult sentences.

Tags:

#brain worm is for text posts

#through the cracks is for asks

#the pages is for rp chains

#inner workings is for Doc’s journal entries

#panophobia is for reblogs

Basic DNI, yknow, bigoted beliefs. Also against interacting with proshippers and anyone like that.

[shuubunni]

I am once again reminding my moots to pls tag Sadako/Samara/The Ring/Ringu pls as she is v triggering for me

No one hasn't so this isn't a call out or anything

Someone actually DID which makes me extremely happy and I just want to remind everyone else to pls keep doing this for my own sanity.

(Thank you to those who are tagging her for me <3)

[eat3rs]

#𝐄𝐀𝐓𝟑𝐑𝐒     .     .     .        a   semi   selective   original   character   as   loved   by   𝐉𝐎   (   25   ,   she/they   ,   virgo   )   .   inspired   by   preacher's   daughter   (   ethel   cain   )   ,   bones   &   all   (   film   and   book   )   ,   and   love   as   consumption   .   triggering   topics   will   be   discussed   and   tagged   accordingly   . sideblog to @deathgrippeds .

heavily associated with @redemptioninterlude , @bu11seye , @depictedblue <3

#𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒       ,        standard   rules   apply   .   i   prefer   to   write   with   partners   18+   .   i   generally   prefer   to   write   darker   themes   and   plots   ,   and   if   that's   not   you're   thing   that's   totally   fine   .   i'm   not   picky   about   faceclaims   ,   though   i   will   not   write   with   those   who   use   faces   of   people   who   have   passed   away   .   i'm   relatively   slow   when   it   comes   to   replies   just   because   i   do   work   fairly   often   and   am   trying   my   best   to   adapt   to   a   better   writing   routine   .   i'm   not   particular   about   formatting   ,   though   i   do   prefer   to   use   regular   text   +   medium   sized   gifs   .   if   my   double   spacing   is   a   bother   to   you   ,   let   me   know   ,   and   i'll   use   regular   spacing   :~) 

#𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒       ,     open   starters   ,   wanted   opposites   ,   wanted   plots   ,   memes   ,   visage   ,   aesthetics   ,   musings   , headcannons , interest tracker .

#𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒       ,        dakota   vicente   cruz   ,   otherwise   known   as   dakota   ,   is   twenty-seven   years   old   and   born   on   october   31st,   1996   ,   in   new   orleans   ,   louisiana   .   his   current   residence   is   anywhere   ,   living   life   on   the   road   with   no   final   destination   in   particular   .   dakota's   a   professional   musician   ,   with   a   quiet   reputation   . 

#𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘       ,     it's   a   grueling   task   to   recall   the   beginning   stages   of   his   life   ,   as   all   he'd   known   was   to   repress   every   memory   .   dakota's   biological   parents   were   never   equipped   for   the   task   of   a   child   ,   considering   the   fact   that   his   mother   worked   three   jobs   after   she   left   home   at   seventeen   ,   and   his   father   ?   well   ,   speaking   of   his   father   was   never   something   that   left   a   sweeter   taste   in   his   mouth   .   he   was   there   ,   whether   he   wanted   to   be   or   not   ,   but   became   more   of   a   ghost   than   anything   else   . 

dakota   always   knew   that   he   was   different   ,   and   for   the   longest   time   he   always   chalked   it   up   to   the   fact   that   his   homelife   was   less   than   ideal   .   he'd   only   ever   known   violence   at   the   hands   of   his   father   .   a   drunken   idiot   who   could   never   seem   to   keep   his   hands   to   himself   .   dakota   never   quite   comprehended   why   his   mother   stuck   around   ,   and   why   she   even   went   on   to   carry   another   one   of   his   children   .   it   was   aggravating   to   bare   witness   to   ,   to   watch   the   way   that   she   loved   so   fervently   that   she   was   willing   to   risk   her   own   sanity   to   give   her   children   the   concept   of   a   perfect   family   .

but   there   was   more   ,   wasn't   there   ?   something   that   burned   in   his   veins   that   made   it   awfully   hard   to   keep   composed   .   he'd   learn   to   distract   himself   from   that   certain   hunger   .   learning   music   ,   immersing   himself   in   sports   .   for   the   longest   of   time   ,   he'd   held   out   .   he   never   bit   when   every   fiber   of   his   being   begged   for   just   a   simple   taste   .   a   good   boy   he   was   ,   and   how   his   mother   fawned   over   him   despite   her   own   inability   to   love   herself   .   all   that   love   was   saved   for   her   children   ,   and   dakota   had   grown   to   resent   her   for   it   . 

but   being   smart   and   being   talented   wasn't   enough   to   really   keep   him   tightly   wound   enough   to   bite   back   at   his   father   ,   who   had   grown   resentful   of   the   way   that   dakota   had   seemingly   begun   to   play   the   role   of   a   father   figure   in   his   younger   sister's   life   .   all   that   anger   and   all   that   rage   made   that   peculiar   craving   grow   stronger   the   older   he'd   grown   to   be   .   it   happens   all   without   much   warning   ,   without   much   thought   .

it's   a   normal   evening   ,   where   his   mother   comes   home   five   minutes   later   than   she   had   communicated   .   dakota   always   braces   himself   for   the   worst   whenever   things   like   that   would   happen   .   his   father   harbored   some   seething   insecurity   issues   ,   where   five   minutes   away   from   him   meant   five   minutes   in   someone   else's   bed   .   it   starts   as   a   quiet   argument   ,   hushed   and   in   the   kitchen   where   neither   dakota   nor   his   sister   could   really   distinguish   what   was   said   .   it   always   started   that   way   ,   and   dakota   would   be   the   one   to   send   her   off   to   her   room   and   sit   close   by   ,   waiting   for   the   moment   it   escalated   . 

and   to   be   expected   ,   it   escalated   .   it   never   mattered   how   many   times   that   his   mother   insisted   on   dakota   not   stepping   in   ,   he   would   always   find   himself   prying   his   father's   dirty   hands   from   off   of   her   .   dakota   had   grown   acquainted   to   the   thrown   punches   from   his   father   ,   and   it   was   never   anything   that   phased   him   .   though   there   was   a   split   moment   in   which   he   felt   far   too   consumed   by   his   anger   ;   how   his   father   could   preach   about   a   merciful   god   every   sunday   ,   but   come   home   and   show   no   mercy   to   the   family   that   he   had   created   .   the   anger   was   skin   deep   ,   seething   ,   begging   to   be   felt   . 

even   in   the   face   of   this   overwhelming   fear   to   protect   his   mother   from   the   monster   within   himself   ,   he   could   no   longer   hold   back   what   was   destined   to   become   of   him   .   he   sends   his   mother   out   ,   with   his   father   pinned   down   against   the   cold   tile   of   the   kitchen   floor   .   he   tells   her   to   leave   with   his   sister   ,   to   get   as   far   away   as   possible   from   the   home   that   they   shared   . 

it   was   the   first   time   dakota   remembers   eating   .   it   was   the   first   time   that   he   had   fully   come   to   the   realization   that   the   difference   that   he   felt   in   himself   was   something   bigger   than   he   expected   .   how   could   he   ever   explain   himself   to   his   mother   ?   his   sister   ?   the   two   people   in   his   life   that   really   adored   him   for   all   he   was   .   could   he   ever   trust   himself   to   be   around   them   ?   to   let   them   get   that   close   ?

he   thinks   on   his   feet   ,   cleaning   up   after   himself   and   driving   his   father's   truck   as   far   away   from   louisiana   as   he   can   .   he   calls   his   mom   from   a   payphone   outside   some   shitty   dive   bar   in   mississippi   ,   tells   her   that   she   can   come   back   home   and   tells   a   story   of   his   father   storming   out   the   door   .   he   explains   how   he's   leaving   town   ,   and   how   he   can't   stomach   the   thought   of   living   in   the   city   he'd   grown   up   in   any   longer   .   his   mother   cries   ,   begs   for   some   other   resolution   .   it's   the   first   time   he   remembers   the   pain   of   a   heartbreak   .   he   speeds   up   the   inevitable   ,   growing   older   and   growing   more   tired   of   having   to   provide   for   everybody   but   himself   .   it's   selfish   ,   and   he   hates   it   ,   but   not   once   has   he   ever   made   time   for   himself   .

he   takes   the   drive   to   chicago   ,   with   the   savings   he'd   acquired   and   whatever   he   pick   pockets   from   the   nameless   strangers   he   feasts   on   on   the   way   .   finds   himself   playing   small   open   mics   in   random   bars   across   the   drive   ,   and   he's   never   been   shy   and   has   always   been   overwhelmingly   charasmatic   .   it's   no   wonder   that   people   take   a   liking   to   him   ,   and   it's   no   wonder   he's   found   himself   a   quaint   little   fanbase   that   takes   a   liking   to   his   aimless   endeavors   through   tiny   towns   and   nameless   cities   .

in   chicago   with   nothing   but   a   shitty   old   truck   and   and   a   dream   .   it's   the   longest   he's   stayed   in   one   place   ,   trying   his   best   to   lay   down   some   roots   just   to   build   himself   up   enough   to   leave   .   he   bites   back   the   hunger   ,   making   sure   to   be   as   careful   as   possible   for   as   long   as   his   body   allows   .   somehow   it   works   ,   through   all   that   struggle   &   through   all   that   guilt   .

after   years   of   patience   and   dilligence   ,   he   makes   a   name   for   himself   .   an   artist   and   a   mystery   .   one   big   break   and   he's   the   next   big   thing   ,   and   he   takes   that   and   runs   with   it   .   quite   literally   .   sifting   through   the   states   and   making   temporary   homes   in   small   towns   ,   because   it's   easier   this   way   .   finds   the   time   to   visit   home   ,   and   makes   peace   with   his   mother   and   sister   despite   their   confusion   about   that   night   .   finds   himself   right   back   in   the   position   of   taking   care   of   them   ,   moving   them   from   out   of   louisiana   to   indiana   .   somewhere   quiet   .   somewhere   where   the   ghosts   of   their   pasts   don't   seem   to   haunt   them   .   he   keeps   them   away   from   the   light   .   the   attention   was   never   meant   for   them   ,   and   he's   always   been   fiercely   protective   of   his   own   blood   .

past   his   own   traumas   ,   he   remains   the   same   .   someone   with   a   lighthearted   sense   of   humor   and   a   heart   several   sizes   too   large   for   his   body   .   even   with   being   showered   with   poor   examples   of   love   ,   he   knows   the   difference   between   right   and   wrong   .   quietly   yearning   for   the   one   thing   he   never   really   got   to   see   .   nor   experience   .   evident   in   his   music   ,   simply   evident   in   the   way   that   he   carries   himself   . 

[exilley]

Tag Game Under The Cut!

Thanks @8ba1l for the tag ^_^ making a new post because I don’t wanna annoy my other followers with the long thread

Are you named after anyone? | Not that I can think of; I recently chose my own name, though, and I’m rather happy with it ^_^

When was the last time you cried? | A week ago maybe?

Do you have kids? | No BUT like everyone else in this thread I have a ouppie her name is Snowy...

Do you use sarcasm? | Sometimes, yeah

What’s the first thing you notice about people? | The way they talk

What’s your eye color? | Dark brown

Scary movies or happy endings? | Neither but between the two... scary movies like hell yeah give me that horror shit any day

Any special talents? | Been told by almost every single one of my English teachers I’m a decent writer

Where were you born? |  Boston, Massachusetts, USA

What are your hobbies? | Excluding the usual reading and writing... D&D, Archery, Ceramics, and I’ve been trying to get into hand weaving as of recent

Do you have any pets? | See question #3

What sports do you play/have played? | Played Soccer and Baseball growing up, in middle school athletics I did Volleyball and Basketball and Track, currently am a member of my school’s Archery team

How tall are you? | Don’t quite recall-- five feet four inches I think?

Favorite subject in school? | I’ll be real here my Ceramics class is keeping my sanity together lol

Dream job? | Anything in the field of Anthropology, though I’m currently thinking of pursuing specifically a career in Archaeology, Museum Curation, Social Work, and/or Translation

Tagging @crtter @aster-is-confused @aerix-spades @palms-upturned @aposemetric @2-point-5 @machlnegirl

[darklighthedgehog]

I posted 2,203 times in 2022

That's 2,203 more posts than 2021! (I was inactive for a few years rip)

127 posts created (6%)

2,076 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@twinanimatronics

@newts-and-sharks

@oobbbear

@bamsara

@0-g-i

I tagged 2,071 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 1,911 posts

#other's art - 1,548 posts

#love this - 213 posts

#other's au - 209 posts

#hedge's art - 115 posts

#awww - 81 posts

#comic - 63 posts

#fnaf - 60 posts

#fnaf moon - 54 posts

#look at em! - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i imagine that once staff catches wind of this they all try to formulate some sort of plan to always have one of them bring in their kid

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Cursed AU?

Was watching @oobbbear 's stream earlier and while they were drawing their Scarecrow Sun design I brought up an idea for a Cursed AU. (This Sun Scarecrow is my design, probably gonna change it tho)

I don't really want to get too into detail about this au since I'm not sure if the cursed au I brought up is gonna be their Farm AU. I technically got permission to continue it but I'm not sure if i actually do or not.

This is what I told twitch chat:

See the full post

313 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

#4

Halley’s Comet

Small idea I had during @oobbbear's stream.

While watching their stream I had the idea of what other (named) celestial objects would look like in their Celestial Twins au.

I ended up making a small character based on Halley's Comet as a test. And if it wasn't obvious, they are heavily based on how Sun and Moon look since that's all I had as reference.

The wispiness of their 'hair' and tailcoat are to resemble the tails of comets. I thought since they weren't necessarily an important part of the Solar System, they would be permanently tiny.

This was just a little idea I had so I won't be doing anything else with this character since they were basically a 'food for thought' drawing.

322 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#3

Let The Fight begin!

My first ArtFight Attack of the Year!

There were a lot of ups and downs with this one, but I have to say I am happy with the final product.

People's characters/sonas in order are @maudiemoods @jack-o-phantom @bamsara and @shandzii

I wanted to add more people but for my own sanity I made it a 2v2 instead.

Happy ArtFight Everyone!

488 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

Time For A Break

See the full post

529 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello There!

See the full post

609 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[leftsidebonfire]

I posted 4,909 times in 2022

1,603 posts created (33%)

3,306 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@leftsidebonfire

@curlybrow-kun

@mapesandoval

@supernaturallyginger

I tagged 1,079 of my posts in 2022

#oc tag - 543 posts

#unaek seveer - 314 posts

#flower child - 301 posts

#one piece - 222 posts

#jocasta - 186 posts

#bonfire girl - 175 posts

#eleni santiana - 164 posts

#captain el - 156 posts

#sanji - 154 posts

#shenanigans on the ship - 111 posts

Longest Tag: 113 characters

#i don't have any other issues but it's gonna be a long time before anything else comes through the shop like this

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

HEY YOU!!!! Show me a picture of your pet RIGHT NOW!!!! I love animals <3

Here is a picture of mine to get this started

Jonas and Norma <3

See the full post

173 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

I was looking up Zoro references for art and somehow came across this skirt that is equal parts absolutely atrocious and also something I'd buy and wear IRL just to make people question my sanity.

For the low price of $35.78, you too can own this one very specific image of Zoro to cover your nether regions.

HE LOOKS SO PHOTOSHOPPED HELP.

238 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#3

I am once again going to recommend posemuse.com @posemuse as a really really helpful site for drawing dynamic poses. I'm not even kidding when I say I feel like my art has majorly improved since I've discovered this site. Here are some really nice examples I've used in the past, and they're good for dnd characters, fighting, two people, group poses, etc.

See the full post

1,273 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#2

Not liking Usopp is a red flag 💅

2,444 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I miss him.......Pre Timeskip Zoro 🥺

7,198 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[scattered-winter]

qpr buddietalia... <333 my third eyes is wide open, thank u <3

btw, i agree with the disclaimer you posted! my relationship with Buddie The Ship and Buddie The Fandom are two very very very different things that i need to keep separate for my own sanity. you see, i love canon buddie as they are, and i personally do not think that it's realistic for them to become a romantic couple as of now (but you never know if there will be a massive shift in writing in the future), but i definitely love how people use the canon moments to write beautiful romantic buddie fanfics. their canon closeness and silliness and chemistry is superb fodder for my heart and soul– and what people do with it to create heartwarming stories is fantastic! it's a lovely ship that is blessed with tons of amazing writers.

however, around season 4, the buddie tumblr fandom started getting more hateful and the hate for other characters (especially female ones) got so loud and disproportionate that i simply had to unfollow the entire fandom. i could not even read buddie fic for 2 years and deleted most of my bookmarks of it because i could not stand the ship anymore. it left a horrible bitterness in my mouth imagining the characters even. and that was so sad to experience because ik that ultimately, the characters and the ship itself are not to blame. but the fandom experience was able to poison everything else to me, so i had to leave it behind for awhile. stopped watching 911, stopped seeing any 911 content on my dash. now, i am back to casually watching the show, and i can enjoy buddie fics again (thankfully, most of them tag character bashing correctly, so it feels safe enough to me), but i decided to never engage with any other buddie content (gifsets and such). i tried, but i often end up seeing twisted facts or misinterpretations or character hate interwoven in them that i just cannot stand anymore. i am a firm believer that buck and eddie girlies (gn) would actually kill each other if they weren't shipping buddie, but that's a totally different can of worms about the 911 fandom that i don't wanna open here lol.

what i mean to say is... enjoying a ship does not mean that we have to be 100% uncritical of the fandom! i do not think that you are a hater for bringing up reasonable critique! it can be a difficult balancing act sometimes, though, with how fast others sometimes judge fellow shippers in bad faith. i hope that whoever enjoys buddie in any capacity knows that they can enjoy it however they like, and that they should never feel pressured to enjoy it a certain way just because the fandom seems to dictate it. all this should be about your personal joy! romantic or platonic or qp buddie?? it's all good, as long as you enjoy yourself imo.

sending love, i hope you have a great day today! <3

YEAH I'm sorry it's been such a bad experience for u !! it always sucks ass when fandom takes the fun out of something :(

THANKFULLY I've sort of curated a little corner for myself in the fandom where I'm basically doing whatever the fuck I want and if everyone else leaves me alone I leave them alone (what I like to call Ye Olde Wild Animal Method) (and I don't think I have enough actual influence in this fandom to really piss anyone off which works for me I'm just vibing) and so far it's been working for me!! but I wasn't in the fandom to experience the Big Shift so. who can say. if there's anything the dc fandom has taught me, it's how to ignore 90% of a fandom for ur own sanity ndbsmvslsb

[d3nt4l-d4m4g3]

A few days ago, I emailed my former professor about a paper on women’s food practices in the middle ages. At least, that’s what I told him it was about, initially. 

But actually, I wanted to discuss heresy. This professor teaches a women’s rights course every year. Every year at the beginning of the class, he calls attention to why he, a man, is talking about women’s rights. He looks us in the eyes and says, no one else is doing it, and I’m sorry it’s me.

This man made us read the SCUM manifesto, Gerda Lerner, Maria Mies. He grazed the subject of the Lesbian Sex Wars, delicately, so gingerly, posing the question: “Can sex work ever be just work?”  And my  (all woman) classmates, generally mute—in a Women’s Rights class, they all seemed averse to saying the word “woman,” at all. Then one woman raised her hand. and she said, “Sex work is real work.”  A statement that, as I hope you know, is a deflection and a discussion killer.  

At the time I was non-binary. Hah. I submitted a comic at the end of the year of my final project. My thesis for that project was this: the very language female people have to use for themselves was constructed by the patriarchy. for example, the english word “vagina” comes from the latin word for “sheath”. so the vagina invokes the act of penetration upon its utterance. Whereas the word “penis” has no clear etymological root, implying that it is original while the vagina is constructed for him. Why should I carry the fact that I will always be a tool, the hole, of the human that is man? My solution, at the end of the comic, was to continue using they/them pronouns, to shield myself from the horror of being a wo-man, a s-he—an appendage of Him. 

I got a good grade. A stellar report. And it wasn’t a bad comic, for what I knew then. For my condition of blindness and deafness. I made a compelling argument, using sources from class.  But oh, how much older I feel now. I’ve always felt old but now I feel almost like I’m dying. Like I don’t have enough time to fix the world before I disappear. And women’s stories never survive. They are not surviving. networks spring up like mycelium and then every century at least they are burned. Witchcraft is in the air shared by women in a room of their own, and witchcraft is doused in gasoline.

I don’t have enough time to explain how the veil lifted for me. Maybe I forget the big moment. the days after were a blur of searching the no-no tags like radical feminist, GNC, gender critical. Amazed at the wealth of journals that these women linked to with real statistics showing that children are being sterilized for no reason. Mostly gay children. like me, a lesbian, who now lives in a house with three  “non-binary afabs”. This summer, one of these women, who I have known since freshman year, will start taking testosterone, a procedure I took up  for three turbulent months during my freshman year of college. I get to watch her become what I turned away from, knowing the experience fractured my sense of self to a point of  terror and estrangement. I get to watch her hide from her problems and cut herself off from womanhood the way I did for 3 years. I am not a woman, so do I not feel Woman’s pain, she is telling me, I told myself, when I was in a dream.  She has so many problems, she laughs. But trans is a separate problem that has nothing to do with those other problems. A coincidence.

 (For any trans people reading this, you may think: This transtrender fake-trans never-was-trans woman is treating these nonbinary people as if they were dead! as if they weren’t happy people finally living their truth! —well. I put my mom through the process of trying to convince her that I should have always been a man. and I did lose her, for months. For her it was the height of cognitive dissonance that I should want to go on a life-altering hormone to cure my lifelong social awkwardness and self-hatred and self-harm and depression. And I blamed her for not accepting my real self. I was basically made to shun her and my family because of transphobia.. It is disrespectful to anyone’s sanity and integrity for me to perpetuate that cognitive dissonance in this post.)

So I eventually got through to the professor. I knew because of the texts he had us to read for class. He is gay.  He has read all the theory, and lives by it.  And no (woman) student wants to speak to him. To bring the theory alive. They cannot breathe into it and it sits dead in his mouth.

Maybe it is because he is a man. because the presence of one man in a space of all women immediately sends up alerts.  lockdown. Certainly that is the case. Radical Feminists here: I know he’s a man. But I don’t have a woman. And I felt on the strength of the texts he’d given us that he would be my best bet. Maybe somewhere in the corrupted, rotting heart of my college there was a person who knew about thoughtcrimes and was thinking them anyway.

My professor starts with diversion. He starts by talking about my paper. I find it disconcerting that he starts that way. I worry that he won’t want to refer to my email. Where I say: I have woken up from a dream to the apocalypse—Does this man think I’m crazy? Chipper and kind of frantically, he lists off  primary sources of medieval nuns and women saints. for my paper.  Does this man think I’ve turned into a bigot?  Am I confessing lunacy, like a flat-earther?

But I steer the conversation to the meat at his first tentative encouragement. I tell him something like: “children, mostly gay children, a whole generation of gay children, are being sterilized. Porn is a symptom of late-stage capitalism—men’s ownership of women’s bodies. trans is an extension of this. I was part of this. I was in a cult.” I was shaking a bit. I don’t think I’d uttered those words out loud. They sound crazy. Some of the things I said did sound far-fetched. disorganized, remote. But I prayed that my professor would believe some of it, any of it. 

 What I will say is that he believes me.  Thank fuck, right?

He tells me something along the lines of this, vocalizing my fears: 

that all of academia is being scrubbed of anything that doesn’t support Trans.

And it is trans-identified female students and women who are reporting him to Title IX, who spend all their time in his classes fuming at the lack of validation for trans women in the  history of women. My sisters, footsoldiers for the cause. What cruel irony. This man is holding onto this class by his fingernails, speaking through his teeth, hoping any of the twenty young adult women staring blankly or angrily at him will hear him and listen.

 Looking back, the professor’s responses to my emails are vague, completely refusing to acknowledge a point of view other than “WOW. I look forward to discussing this.”  I think he thinks he could be blackmailed. Anything he says on gmail dot com can and would be used against him. It’s like, really, really, really that bad. 

No ideology should involve a cultural cleaning of women’s history feat. witch hunts. 

I will end here with an excerpt from my first email to this professor:

I'm sure you know what a total bummer it is to realize this. 

[hallow-witxh]

Here comes the booooooy~

Hello!

Thank you for your patience with me as I work through my issues, and thank you all so much for keeping my blog active and alive. Though I've been absent and unwell both physically and mentally for some time, I'm ready to come back with a few changes to help preserve my sanity. I appreciate each of you more than you know!

Just as a quick review (and introduction to those new followers of mine); hi there! My name is Ander, and I've been a practicing green/herbal/kitchen witch and Pagan for the past several years. As of lately, I work closely with Aphrodite, Salacia, Melinoe, and as of very recently, Dionysus. Most of my posts are beginner-friendly information-based posts, as well as tips, ideas, and lists. I'm disabled and currently waiting for approval for SSDI, so I am frequently tired and may take some time to answer messages, asks, or comments. That being said, I am re-opening asks (no anon, as I have received more than a few nasty surprises) so feel free to reach out with questions or comments.

To get back into the groove of things, I will be reblogging a few of my older posts as I work on a wave of new posts. :)

As for changes, y'all can expect just a few things.

Instead of daily posts, each post will be scheduled for either every other day or every three days depending on my brainpower. Most of the time, I will write multiple posts and schedule them, so my replies to any comments, questions, or tags on posts may take a day or two.

Each post will have the same beginning tags, with a few more related to the specific post type at the end. This is for the sake of reaching more people's home page, making it easier to set up in my drafts, and keeping it all organized in my head. You are welcome to reblog without the tags, copy/paste the tags, or create your own.

If someone is causing trouble in the comments (again); tag me. I will delete their comments and block them.

As for reminders about my posts:

My Ko-Fi will be linked at the bottom of each post. You are never, ever required to tip/buy anything from it, but I appreciate the views and any help that may come through! There are also open commissions on there as well, as well as this post listing them if you don't want to go through Ko-Fi.

If you want to argue with me or someone else in my comments, take it to your DMs. No one wants to scroll through nasty messages.

That being said, if you see a mistake (information-wise, a typo, anything), you are welcome to point it out or ask about it POLITELY in the comments. Nastiness will result in your comments being deleted and you blocked.

This is a safe place for LGBTQ people. Any slurs, negative comments, or bigotry will not be tolerated here. I am a trans, queer person myself and I won't have people gatekeeping MY OWN PRACTICE because their mama didn't love them enough to teach them how to accept others for who they are.

Yes, there are trauma jokes in a few posts. Whoops.

If anyone has any questions, comments, ideas, or requests for certain content, please feel free to comment or send an ask. I am more than happy to research anything you may be needing to know.

Again, thank you all so much for keeping my blog active, and I'm so excited to be providing content for y'all again!

Love y'all lots. Thanks for having me <3

Support me on Ko-Fi or visit my store, Hallow Grove!

[jamespotterthefirst]

Prologue (OHTY)

Open Heart: Third Year Rewrite

Book: Open Heart, Book 3 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Words: 1K Premise: A new year, a new relationship, and a new Edenbrook. Will everything go as smoothly as they had planned?

Author’s Note: That summary sucks but this is my OHTY rewrite. I plan to make it dramatic. And angsty af. Here we go! Hope you like it. 

Prologue: His Beloved 

Caroline's eyes roamed the cavernous space, taking in the upgrades with something akin to wonder. Even from afar, he could see that sparkle in her eyes, the curiosity that was ever present whenever she beheld his newest innovation. It was enough to inspire anyone to conquer the world itself. 

Now more than ever, something burned in his stomach: The urge to hold her. The despair and rage at being unable to. 

As the seconds ticked by, his wife remained silent, nodding and humming here and there. Her soft, expressive brown eyes fell on the new kiosk at the reception desk and she quietly chuckled. A delicate, gloved hand hovered over the gleaming surface, almost as if she was afraid to touch it. 

“These are the same ones I suggested for the Princeton tech lab.” 

With the words, came a memory, unfurling before Leland's mind like a heavy mist. Their last trip to Paris, gazing at the Eiffel Tower from the patio of a small but elegant café. Caroline's hand in his from across the table as they talked about the Princeton project, her smile far more beautiful than the whole city in Springtime. 

“You thought of everything, my love.” Her eyes met his with such sadness, he was certain she remembered too. 

“We will be the prime research facility on the East Coast by the time we're done with the renovations,” he told her, willing her to understand he was doing everything to remedy their situation. 

At this, her smile turned genuine, shining with pride. “You're going to help so many people.”

Leland almost scoffed. He didn't give a damn about other people. 

Before he could blurt out the bitter words, however, Arthur, his driver, approached with a single nod at Caroline. She sighed, returning her gaze to Leland. 

“I must go if I am to board the train on time.”

“If you miss it, you can always just take the jet. It's much faster and comfortable anyway.”

Her soft laugh was the best thing he'd heard all day. 

“You know me, my love. I will enjoy the view of the countryside any opportunity I get.” And this time, when she paused, there was undeniable misery in the way her eyes shone. “Plus, you know I'm a nostalgic old woman. Train travel will always have a special place in my heart.”

They had met on a train for the first time many years ago. 

The words hurt more than the prospect of not seeing his wife for months. They had mutually decided that time in the serene seaside town of York would be beneficial for her. Rather, Caroline, unable to bear their forced distance much longer without breaking down into tears, decided this was the best temporary solution. 

“Shall I wait outside?” Arthur asked politely. 

With a start, Caroline seemed to wake from a reverie. “I'll be right out, Arthur.”

After the driver disappeared through the glass doors, Caroline turned to Leland, her body almost quivering with the restraint of keeping its distance. Instead of the customary kiss and hug goodbye, they simply gazed at one another, Caroline with palpable despair, Leland with renewed determination. 

“Goodbye, my love,” she murmured, the sound almost lost in the hubbub of the atrium. 

Leland heard it, though, as loud and final as the clashing of iron bells. 

“Goodbye, Caroline.”

Before long, she turned on her heel and walked out the doors with as much dignity as a broken heart allowed. 

Leland, meanwhile, remained fixed to the spot, watching her go. The pain of his own suffering was muted by the fierce rush of conviction. The determination to find a cure was the last tether holding him to sanity. 

Before he could move or even think about anything else, a note of delighted laughter echoed nearby. His eyes fell on a couple, traversing through the atrium hand in hand. The lively brunette gazed up at the tall and seemingly brooding man, her eyes sparkling with adoration. When the man finally submitted to her teasing , it was clear that he, too, was completely besotted by her. 

“... not a hospital. More like an Apple store,” she was saying. 

“What the hell is an Apple store?” 

“Oh, that's right. You're a sworn Android user, I forgot.”

Ethan Ramsey rolled his eyes. 

“They're phones, Lilac. The rivalry between the two is absurd when people use them equally to waste their lives away.”

This time, it was Lilac Allende who rolled her eyes, but not without a loving smile. “You're such a senior citizen sometimes.”

Ethan halted his steps at that proclamation, tugging at their joined hands and pulling her close to him. Lilac's small cry of surprise melted into one of knowing amusement under the intensity of his roguish smile. Without much preamble, he leaned in and whispered something that made her both blush and nod, impressed. 

“You're an incorrigible flirt, Ethan Ramsey,” she tried to admonish, but the effect was tarnished by how pleased she sounded. 

Ethan, undeterred, murmured something else into her ear. With a very serious expression, he pulled back to look into her face. There was no humor left in their expressions as they gazed at one another, only pure longing and affection. Then, he held the tip of her chin in gentle fingers, like the most delicate of songbirds, leaned in and kissed her. 

Leland glanced away, unwilling to accept there could be love and affection in the world. Teeth clenched, his eyes returned to the couple before he could avoid it. It was almost as if they were flaunting their romance for everyone, including Leland, to see. 

They couldn't do anything for Caroline and now they taunted him. 

The bitter burn of jealousy and rage pumped through his veins like a poison with every beat of his heart. 

That  the two doctors could touch and love so unabashedly was…unacceptable. 

“Have a good day,” Lilac whispered to her beloved before moving away. 

Their hands were still clasped and Ethan seemed unable to let her go. He tugged her again and Lilac looked at him curiously. The man looked on the verge of saying something, his throat working in the small pause. Then, appearing to change his mind, he kissed her forehead instead. 

Ethan Ramsey didn't have to say a goddamn thing for Leland to know. Leland had looked at his Caroline the same way before uttering the three words.

Love.

Ethan was in love with her. 

The solution struck Leland with such intensity that he remained immobile. It was so simple, he felt like a fool for not having thought of it before. At last, he knew of a surefire way to secure Caroline's cure. 

“Sir?” His assistant, Parker, enquired when Leland silently beckoned. 

“Have Ethan Ramsey meet me in my office this afternoon,” he commanded simply. “Make it clear the meeting is not optional.”

***

Author’s Note: The following chapters will be longer! I won’t have a posting schedule. I think I’ll just post these bad boys as they’re ready. Approximately weekly? Thank you so much for reading this far!

As a side note, this will be Ethan x MC centric. I will try to include other characters but I can’t promise you much. Also, I’ve kept some things from the original mess that is book 3, but the overall plot will differ. (Hey crazy idea but if any of my mutuals wants to write for other characters, hit me up?)

Chapter 1 coming soon!

*Tagging in a reblog*