#i am obsessed with her in the broken code

[paperglader]

has anyone made the modern au where alicent reacts to short n’ sweet by sabrina carpenter or should i make it myself?

[beautification-tales]

The Sisters pt. 1

A late Bloomer tale

The sisterhood were sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria. Stacey in her usual white crop top and tight jeans. She had a scowl on her face as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Becky and Ruby were holding hands and giggling. Becky’s black yoga pants and top exposed her impressive abs that Ruby’s red fingernail free hand was caressing. Stacey rolled her eyes at the display. Becky caressed Ruby’s hosiery covered thigh as they were so close to making out. “Ugh get a room you two!” Stacey exclaimed, causing Ruby to break out into a fit of giggles.

“I know that I’m Bi now but women really do it for me now.” Becky confessed, looking down at Ruby’s body. Ruby leaned in, a hungry look on her face. "Maybe because they always did it for you?” she asked with a sly grin. Stacey rolled her eyes and snorted. "Ugh can we hold off on humping anyone until our fearless leader shows up?” she asked, gesturing to the door.

As if on cue Marsha walked in. The bright orange hair and lips caught the eye of everyone as she walked to her usual spot. She wore the least revealing clothes of the group as she actually dressed casually. Stacy leaned forward as Marsha sat down. “Well? What news from on high?” she asked sarcastically. Marsha looked at the three girls then smiled. “We all meet her tomorrow for the next phase of her plan.” she replied, her voice hushed.

Ruby and Becky squealed with excitement. “Ooh I can’t wait!” Ruby exclaimed. Becky nodded in agreement. Stacey rolled her eyes. She was still annoyed at the restrictions that were placed on her since the incident at Peter’s. “Tonight! Tonight we feast. She said she wanted us at full energy for our meeting.” Marsha announced. Ruby clapped her hands together. "Oh! There is cute Professor that I’ve been meaning to seduce. He should be delicious!” Becky stopped touching Ruby. “Aww so what am I supposed to do?” Becky whined. Stacey snorted. "Well you can always go after one of the TA's. They're always easy meat." she joked.

Marsha

“Or you could get your real revenge… on Traci.” Stacey suggested. Becky’s eyes glowed as she licked her lips and inhaled. “That’s a great idea… thanks Stace.” Stacey stared right at Marsha “Anything for a sister.” There was a moment of silence as Marsha and Stacey glared at each other. “I guess… I’ll just consume a frat… how boring.” Stacey sighed. Ruby giggled.

“No, I talked with our maker and we agreed. We want you at your best Stacey. Peter’s all yours.” Marsha said with a knowing smirk. Stacey gasped as she felt her breasts fill with milk. Stacey’s eyes glowed as she felt her panties soak at the thought of having Peter again. “Oh thank you! Thank you!” Stacey got up and hugged Marsha tight. “Anything for a sister.” They both giggled.

Becky’s Story-

Becky watched as Stacey and Marsha hugged as the tension between them evaporated. Becky didn’t know the full story but apparently Stacey was obsessed with her former bully and Marsha didn’t approve. The girls all said goodbye to each other as Becky walked to her former best friend’s dorm room.

Stacey

Becky felt the butterflies in her stomach as she never confronted or really talked to Traci since she caught her with Bill. They grew up together and shared everything except for boys. The code was clear between them and Traci had broken it.

Becky transformed into her normal body and knocked on Traci’s door. “Go away!” Traci yelled through the door. “It’s me Becky, Trace.” Becky said in her most innocent voice. There was a long pause, then Traci unlocked the door. When she opened it, she was wearing a big sweatshirt and still had tears in her eyes. “I’m sure you came to gloat didn’t you?” Becky was surprised when Traci hugged her and brought her in. “I fucking missed you Becks. I.. I fucked up. I ruined our friendship over a guy and and… he cheated on me. I’m so sorry…. Please I need you. Please forgive me…. You’re all I have now.”

Becky gritted her teeth. She wanted to unleash the rage she had from the betrayal. Traci’s genuine tears touched Becky’s heart. “I don’t know Traci. You were my best friend! I loved you and what you did still hurts. The worst part … is if you just told me. If you said you wanted Bill. I would have broken up with him for us.” Traci’s tears kept flowing as she looked at her best friend. “It wasn’t fair though. All the boys wanted me over you. I wanted you to know how it felt to be wanted.” Traci grabbed Becky’s hand. “I wanted you so see how beautiful you really are. I should have just told you that.”

Ruby

Becky wiped the tears from her own eyes. “Yeah you should have. I met some new friends and the helped me see that.” Becky looked at Traci and laughed. “I actually did come here to gloat and rip you a new one.” Traci wiped her tears and smiled. “I fucking deserve it. Weird thing is the woman that Bill was fucking said ‘Karma’s a bitch’”. Becky gulped remembering she did say that. “She did?” Traci nodded. Becky sighed. She didn't want to see Traci hurt anymore. She wanted her best friend back. But she couldn’t let her know the truth at least not yet.

“Yeah, I took Bill from you and that Amazon bitch took Bill from me.” Traci looked up at Becky. Becky’s lip quivered as she asked for clarification. “Amazon?” Traci nodded. Becky sat down on the bed right next to Traci. “Yeah, I never saw a woman as hot as her. If she wasn’t the bitch that stole my man…. I would totally follow her IG and see how she slayed in a bikini. You … ok Becky?” Traci asked her friend.

Becky’s eyes fluttered as she felt herself get really warm. Traci’s compliments of her succubus form was arousing her. Becky could feel the sexual energy growing inside. It was if her succubus was wanting to transform. “Uhm I’m ok Traci… keep telling your story.” Becky eyes her friend with a hunger she never displayed before.

“Well yeah imagine Meg the Stallion times ten. I know Bill was loving it as he was throbbing. I know this is TMI but even though I was horrified. I felt myself getting wet… because of her.” Becky’s nipples hardened hearing her friend describe her. “She was fucking irresistible wasn’t she?” Becky gasped as she felt her breasts get heavier in her chest.

“Well.. yeah she actually…said something like that. “ Traci pushed away from her friend. “Do… do you know her Becky?” Traci looked at her friend as her eyes had rolled back. Becky inhaled hard trying to control the pleasure and sexual energy tidal wave that was washing over her. “You could say something like that ahhhh!” The dam broke as all of Becky’s succubus energy overwhelmed her as purple flame surrounded her body. Becky’s breasts increased in size as her muffin top evaporated. The unflattering sweats vanished as Becky was now in her true succubus form. Becky caressed her amazing curves as she moaned gleefully as if freed from a prison. Becky opened her eyes and looked at her tight bikini that left little to the imagination.

Becky

Traci stood up in shock. “It was you?!” she asked in disbelief. Becky smiled, her perfect white teeth behind the juicy thick lips. “You really have a way with words Trace. It really brings out the best in a girl… no?” Becky arched her back taking a sexual pose as she played with her long black hair.

Traci’s heart was pounding in her chest. The mixed emotions of fear, surprise and arousal were all present within her. “You fucked Bill? What…what are you?” Traci backed away from Becky as she continued to take poses on the bed.

“Mmmm I’m a succubus baby. I wanted revenge for you both hurting me. So I took it.”

“What do you want now?” Traci asked, her voice quivering with fear and a hint of arousal. Becky stopped posing and began walking to Traci. “You said you wanted me to know how it felt to be beautiful and wanted. Traci… it feels fucking fantastic.” Becky was right in front of Traci, her taller form a head higher now making Traci look up. “You’re here for more revenge aren’t you?” Traci gulped.

“Mmmhmm you see… I’m too fucking sexy to resist.” Becky said as she pulled Traci in for a kiss. Her succubus powers overwhelmed Traci as she found herself melting into the kiss. Her body felt like it was on fire as she pressed herself against Becky. The two women kissed deeply, their tongues dancing together.

As they broke apart, Becky whispered in Traci's ear, "You're gonna love this." She grabbed at Traci’s waist and quickly pulled her sweatshirt off, letting her perfect breasts free. "Oh my god Traci, you're so beautiful." Becky cupped her hands around her friend's breasts, squeezing them gently before taking one nipple into her mouth and sucking on it hungrily. Traci moaned loudly, arching her back as she felt an unfamiliar pleasure course through her veins.

“Oh my God! Becky! Mmm” Traci moaned as she wrapped her hands around her friend's head, feeling the incredible sensations building in her chest. She arched her back, pressing her breasts into Becky's mouth, wanting more of the delicious pleasure.

Becky released her nipple with a pop and moved to Traci's other breast, taking the waiting nipple into her mouth. Traci gasped as she felt a wave of pleasure wash over her, making her limbs weak. She reached down, gripping the hem of her sweatpants, desperate to feel more. She couldn’t understand why this felt so right.

"Oh fuck yeah Traci," Becky moaned, her words vibrating against her skin. "You taste so good." Traci arched her back even further, pressing her chest into Becky's face. Her hips began to move involuntarily, grinding against her friend's thigh. The sensations were overwhelming, both familiar and foreign at the same time.

Becky released her nipples with a pop and moved up to nip at Traci's neck. "You feel so good, Traci. I could do this all night." Traci shuddered, her legs turning to jelly. She reached down, grasping at Becky's hips as she felt her wetness grow between her legs. "Please, Becky. I need..." she trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

"You need me?" Becky asked, her voice low and husky. "You need my cock inside you?" She moved back, her gaze trailing down to Traci's crotch. “Wait.. what cock?” Traci asked confused. Becky grabbed Traci’s back and grinded her hips into Traci’s. Traci gasped as she felt a stiff member against her pelvis. “Succubus powers baby” Becky grinned.

Becky pulled Traci’s bottoms off. Traci felt a rush of cold air against her, and then the warmth of Becky's body as her friend straddled her. She gripped the head of her cock, positioning it at Traci's entrance. Traci felt a sting of pain as Becky pressed inside her, but it was quickly replaced by an intense, burning pleasure. She cried out, her body arching up into the sensation.

Elated to share this moment with her.

She arched her back, her fingernails digging into Becky's shoulders as she felt her own orgasm building, a wave of heat and pleasure starting deep in her core and spreading outward. "Oh god, Becky," she gasped, her hips meeting Becky's with frenzied urgency. "I'm going to..."

Becky's thrusts became faster, harder, as if she was trying to push Traci over the edge. Her breath came in ragged gasps, her body shuddering with the effort. "Come for me, baby," she growled, her voice rough and demanding.

Traci felt her orgasm build, tearing through her body like a tidal wave. "Yes!" she cried out, arching her back as her hips bucked wildly against Becky. Her vision blurred, her senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the pleasure coursing through her.

Becky felt Traci's inner walls grip her cock, squeezing it with unrelenting force. She threw her head back, her body tensing as she felt the familiar tightness building inside her. "Oh fuck," she moaned, her voice ragged and desperate. "I'm coming."

With a final thrust, Becky buried her cock to the hilt inside Traci, their bodies pressed together, their sweat mixing on their skin. She let out a long, shuddering groan as her orgasm overtook her, her hips snapping wildly against Traci's in a frenzy of pleasure. Her vision blurred, her thoughts spinning out of control as the wave of ecstasy crashed over her.

Traci panting laid her chest on Becky’s. “Was that really revenge for you?”

Becky looked down at Traci “No, more like what I always wanted.”

[welivetodream]

Re-read TSH.....AGAIN

Here are some weird/wtf/sad moments and details I had forgotten:

•Henry wrote a diary entry about murdering a guy 🤨.

•then forgets that Bunny is capable enough to translate the diary entries and find out about the murder.

•Richard has a random thought about r-wording Camilla out of nowhere (*What the fuck Richard vine plays in the background*) 😳.

•The first time Richard sees the twins he thinks they are a couple..........hmm (I was sus about that from the start) 😶.

•Richard had two pages of internal monologue about Henry being gay.

•There was broken stuff in the twins dorm, which was due to Charles trashing the house whenever he is mad at Camilla (FUCK CHARLES).

•Franics was making passes at Richard multiple times.

•Francis and Camilla kissed for some reason, twice.

•Richard only studied greek before to have a language class that's in the afternoon so he could sleep late in the morning (sometimes I feel like he survives only on pure instinct).

•Richard was constantly finassing his employer.

•Henry and Charles were ready to throw hands at Judy (do NOT touch the queen you freaks).

•Henry planned multiple murder options for Bunny (💫dumb ways to die💫).

•Richard had no problem being an accomplice in murder for people he barely knows.

•Bunny drops multiple hints about the murder the others did early on.

•Nobody tried to save Camilla way before if they knew Charles's controlling nature (Henry taking her away was the best thing he ever did).

•Camilla and Henry had secret telephone codes.

•Francis was forced to have a lavender marriage 😭.

•all of this shit went down during one academic year.

•Camilla's whole purpose was to give storylines to Henry, Charles and Richard. She deserved so much better than that. And I don't want her to ever stay around any of the guys of the group (except for Francis).

•Julian was blissfully aware of the obsessive nature of his students, and not only encouraged it but directly lit the fire that caused them to become who they are. (He tried to pull a John Keating from DPS, but he could NEVER be the Dark Academia teacher icon)

BONUS:

Tally of the members of the greek gang who have kissed eachother (NOT COUNTING THE BACCHANAL, where they all fucked.....Idk what happens in a bacchanal, I am too scared to research)

Camilla: 4 (Henry, Francis, Charles, Richard)

Francis: 3 (Charles, Camilla, Richard)

Richard: 2 (Francis, Camilla)

Charles: 2 (Francis, Camilla)

Henry: 1 (Camilla)

Bunny: 0 (RIP, I guess 😅)

[jedifarmerr]

Chapter 6

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader/OFC (no y/n or physical descriptions)

Rating: E (18+ blog)

Word Count: over 4k

Chapter Warnings: language, smut, very very light dom/sub undertones, pregnancy, anxiety, nightmares, discussions of parent death. (let me know if I missed anything)

Series Masterlist

Javier watched her eyes light up as she walked into the nursery. Her hand slid across the smooth white wood, clearly surprised to come home to this. She had only been gone a couple hours. Prenatal yoga, dinner afterwards with some ladies in the same class. 

All the while, Javier’s Saturday night was spent hunched over vague directions. His knees ached. He’d squinted so much that it made his crow’s feet hurt. Clearly, the print was made with someone a decade younger than him in mind. 

Instead of a regular standard crib, she had wanted something different – complicated. Circular cribs. He’d gotten tangled up in a flowy dual of sheer canopies. She’d thought they would be whimsical, fitting the theme: sweet dreams. 

“Javi. I told you I would help.” 

Javier rolled his eyes at her. Even if both his arms were broken, he would never let that happen.

At seven months pregnant, she was already uncomfortable enough without sitting on the hard ground for hours.

“I wanted to do it,” he assured her. Javier was never someone that liked to be bone-idle. For him, he needed to feel like he was actually doing something. This felt like the only way he could contribute. 

They had moved in a month ago, and really this was the only room left to finish. So, he’d personally taken it on as his own project. 

Last weekend, he painted over the custard yellow. A sage-y color; Granite Grey according to Benjamin Moore. Joe and him had lugged the changing table and dresser up the stairs. Luckily, those came practically assembled. Now, it was down to the little details. 

Coming up behind her, Javier grasped her by the arc of her hips and pulled her flat against his chest. It was the only position that allowed him to get this close to her anymore. 

He sighed as he nuzzled his nose into her neck, and inhaled. “Smell good,” he groaned. 

“There’s no way. I’m all sweaty,” she protested, but that didn’t matter when he liked all her smells. 

“So? I am too.” He kissed the nape of her neck then licked his lips. Salty. God – something was wrong with him. 

His hands roamed across her belly as he perched his chin on her shoulder. Her belly button poked out from her shirt. Her beach-ball stomach was firm and swollen. He was weirdly obsessed with it. Slightly possessive about it. 

His. His. His. Swirling around his mind.

“How’re they doing today?” 

The babies responded to him with little kicks against his palm. Javier wouldn’t pretend to know the logistics of what was going on in there, but he liked to think somehow, someway they could recognize him. They always reacted to his voice. That couldn’t be purely coincidental. 

Soon, the tiny kicks became a strong double wriggle. She winced at a particularly forceful one. Despite his primal instinct to hold on, he gave her space and let her go.

Still, his gaze stayed latched onto her. It seemed to be her shoulders, down to her lower back that was bothering her. 

“Anything I can do?” He asked, wiggling his fingers into a loose fist at his side. 

“Become a seahorse.” Her voice sounded like it came out of a clogged up pipe. She shut her eyes and paced around the room, working herself through the discomfort. Her yoga class had taught her helpful breathing techniques, calming exercises for times like this. 

The tension drained from Javier’s shoulder when it finally seemed to pass. 

“They’ve been really active today,” she explained, and Javier didn’t argue with her. If it was anything serious, he hoped she would tell him. She waddled to the door. “Have you eaten?” 

He shrugged noncommittally. “I had a little something.”

Somehow she seemed to know that was code for a handful of chips around 6. She clicked her tongue at him. “Well, it’s a good thing I brought you back something then.” 

A traitorous growl tore through his stomach. Theresa’s was some of the best Mexican food in Austin. It reminded him of his favorite spot in central Laredo. A hole-in-the-wall with top-tier mole. 

“You’re too good to me,” he cooed at her, and she scoffed. 

“You’re one to talk.” She swirled her finger around the room. “Now, go eat. I’ll be down after I shower.” 

Javier did as he was told. Inside the styrofoam box was his order exactly how he liked it. She’d even remembered an extra thing of sauce on the side. 

After scarfing down his food, they curled up on the couch and watched reruns of America’s Funniest Home Videos for the rest of night. 

Showering before bed, Javier scrubbed a towel through his damp hair. “What’re you reading there?” He asked. 

She showed off a bubblegum pink cover. The Ultimate Baby Name Book. Surprise, surprise. That seemed to be all she read nowadays. 

Javier threw his towel in the hamper, turned on his bedside lamp, then joined her on top of the covers. 

She tapped on the page. “What do you think of Eva?” 

Eva Peña. He shrugged. Not too bad. 

“Yeah. If you like it.” 

That must have been the wrong answer since she clasped the book shut, her hands stacked over the cover. “Your opinion matters just as much as mine,” she reminded him. 

“Does it?” He asked, but she didn’t laugh. Her expression cinched, and he supposed it was best to agree with her. “Alright. Eva’s fine, but let’s hear another.” 

She licked her thumb and flipped through the book. Each page was marked up. Names he must’ve blown off were crossed out, very few were highlighted, even less of them starred. 

“Okay. Gabriela?” 

“No.” Fuck no. 

“Good. Definitive. I like that. What about….Mia?” 

Javier hesitated, and made a low, drawn out thinking noise. “I knew a lot of Mia’s growing up.” 

“I get that,” she said, and her face suddenly contorted into a tight grimace.

Every muscle in his body went rigid, until he realized it was her shoulders – again. He'd caught her messing with them all night. He wouldn’t let her suffer any longer. 

He didn’t give her a choice, and plucked the book from her, throwing it on the nightstand. Once the pillows were adjusted, his legs spread out, he patted the space between his thighs. 

“Come here.” 

She usually would put up a tiny fight – assure him she was fine. But not tonight. She simply crawled over without a word. 

His hands scooped underneath the flimsy straps of her nightgown, and immediately set to work. Slow and steady. With the flat of his palm, he started chiseling away at the tension in her shoulders. She let out a low sound of relief, her head drooped forward like an over-loved stuffed animal. 

“Oh, right there,” she moaned when he hit a particularly sensitive spot between her shoulder blades. 

Laser-focused, his thumbs kneaded at the tight band of muscle, drawing little noises and sweet little whimpers. Each one burned hotter in the pit of his belly. 

“Let me get your lower back. Lean forward a little for me, baby.” 

He didn’t expect his cock to twitch when she let him guide her into position. His hand on the center of her back ran along the curve of her spine, admiring the shiny satin that stuck to her skin like spilled sangria. Pliant. So soft. If he wasn’t careful it could easily go to his head – both heads. 

Her lower back was especially aggravated. A web of knots had spun themselves around her tailbone that even the tiniest bit of pressure made her pretty lips part, panting.

Her breath hitched, tensed as he began to uncoil one embedded deep underneath the surface.  

“Relax. Let me take care of you.” His voice was low and tainted by his swelling arousal. Luckily, she seemed too lost in his dutiful hands to notice. 

“Oh, Javi,” she choked out, digging her nails into his thighs. His quads flexed under her palms. 

Desire was now swirling in his gut, and when he glanced down, his cock was tenting the baby blue cotton. But he kept ignoring it, and continued his ministrations until not an inch of her back went untouched. 

“What hurts the most?” His breath fanned over her ear, and goosebumps erupted across her skin. 

He wondered if she was as affected by this as he was. He was starting to think he would find her soaked underneath the hem of her sinfully teeny nightgown with how long it took for her to respond:

“Shoulders.” 

He discreetly tucked his cock into his waistband before urging her to lay back. She sank into his body instantly. Her head lulled around the shadow of his collarbone. When his gaze dipped to her chest, he licked his lips as her swollen breasts strained the fabric with each heavy breath.

As he kneaded the tops of her shoulders, her legs unconsciously inched apart until her feet tangled up with his. 

“Feel good?” He skimmed his lips over the sensitive spot, just behind her ear.

That seemed to make her brain fizzle out. She went to speak, but unable to form a coherent word, she simply whimpered. It stroked something primal deep inside him to have her like this.

Daring himself to go further, he snuck one hand around her and rested it on her thigh. Just below the hem, her hips automatically bucked. 

Her skin burned against his palm, but he didn’t move his hand, only his thumb in slow, maddening circles. He intended to take his time, to draw this out. He wanted to make her so desperate, so needy that she begged for it. 

He brushed his fingertips across her shoulder. Like a feather, sliding along the column of her neck. “Javi,” she said – breathless. Whiny. God – she was so sensitive. So responsive to him. It was driving him insane.

“What is it, baby?” Her neck bent to his whim as his fingers danced along her jaw. “Tell me.” He thumbed the hem of her dress.

She didn’t answer, only squirmed around. Her ass was mere inches from his cock when he tsked his tongue, gripped her thigh. 

Even though she stopped, it didn’t come without a whine. “Javiiiii.” 

Her lips formed a pout, which he traced with his thumb. She opened up like a flower, let him feed one finger, then two into her eager mouth. 

Fuck – she was a vision. 

He applied pressure to the flat of her tongue, slowly dragging his fingers up and down the length.

“Suck,” he ordered, and her lips instantly formed a tight seal around his knuckles. Her cheeks hollowed out, and the throaty, wet moan she gave hummed through his veins. She looked absolutely depraved. “Fuck - look at you. So greedy. You like this, don’t you?” 

Hooded eyes – long, fluttery lashes. She nodded, pushing his fingers deeper into her warm wet mouth. She used to get so embarrassed when she would get like this. She would try and hide from him, but not anymore. He’d snuffed out the voices, until it was only his own.

Javier made a strangled, growling noise when she nearly choked on his fingers, taking him up into the point that she was drooling. A trail of spit dripping onto the tops of her breasts.

“Your damn mouth is fucking heaven.” She mewled at his praise. Grinding her hips into the thin air, the mattress squeaked under her hips. Vaguely, he wondered if he could make her come just like this. If he weren’t so aroused, he probably would have waited to see.

His hand roamed further up her thigh, and “Fuck,” he hissed, finding her thighs sticky and wet. He gathered what he could on his fingertips. “I haven’t even touched your pussy and look at that.” 

Her slick glistened in the low lamp light. Gorgeous. 

“I bet your panties are ruined, aren’t they?” He taunted her, and his fingers left her swollen lips with a pop. He smeared the excess spit all across her lips. “Should we see?” 

She dumbly nodded, and angled her gaze to watch him slowly reveal herself to him. The dark spot on her cotton-candy pink panties made his cock throb painfully, his pants felt like a cage.

“Holy shit. You’re soaked.” He clasped her tighter to him, burrowed his face into her neck as he teased the lacey elastic band. 

Her chest expanded with a cry of his name. It echoed in the safe-keeping of their bedroom. He had to keep one hand on her hip to keep her still when his fingers formed into a V and rasped across the cotton. The dips between his fingers just barely missed her clit with each stroke. Every time her body would tense, then shudder in disappointment – desperation. 

The tip of his nose nuzzled into her plush cheek. “Want me to touch you?” 

She swallowed, insistently nodding. He swore he heard her croak - yes. 

“Then beg,” he forced the word through gritted teeth. “Beg and I’ll give it to you.” 

“Oh fuck. Javi.” She cried out. “Please baby. God. I need it - I need you. Oh, please! Please.” 

She kept babbling until he hooked his thumbs into her waistband, and she helped shimmy them off.“Hold your dress and spread your legs. Let me see you.” 

There was no hesitation. She displayed herself for him, then peered up with a glazed, glossy look in her eyes. “Please,” she whimpered, and that was it.

He sealed his lips against her temple and started to gently circle her puffy clit. Her whole body convulsed, twitched. Even with a gossamer touch, she still moaned.

Months ago, he would have kept her like this for hours. Bring her to the edge over and over until she withered into sheets and prayed for release. One time, she swore she blacked out from her orgasm. It was one of his proudest accomplishments.

“Do you want more?” He asked, continuing to tease her clit, softly swirling the swollen bud.

She opened her mouth, but all that came out was nonsense. So, instead she bobbed her head.

“You want my fingers?” She nodded even faster. “Can you be good and keep still? Let me do the work - let me take care of you?” 

She must have known he would want a verbal response because she swallowed. “I - I’ll try.” 

“That’s all I ask,” he hummed, then without any resistance, slid a single finger inside her. Her walls clamped around him, and he growled, wanting to feel her wrapped around his cock.

Soon.

After only a few moments, she was already begging for more. “I can take it. Please, Javi. I need it.”

“Yeah?” His deep chuckle rumbled around his chest. He didn’t wait for a response, and sunk two fingers into her, curling until he hit that sweet, spongy spot.

Her legs twitched, fighting to keep still as he sped up. The wet squelch was nearly enough to send him over the edge, and when he stretched her out with a third, he was about to burst. He could feel his cock leaking with each thrust, smearing around his skin and shorts as she trembled for more.

“Fuck, you’re so good. So good, baby.” He slowed down, but kept a steady pace. “You gonna let me use your pretty pussy? Wanna cum around my cock?” 

“Oh shit - Javi. Please. Please. God - I wanna cum. Wanna - fuck.” 

“Hands and knees or on top?” 

She didn’t answer verbally, but crawled to the middle of the bed instead. She yanked off her dress before presenting herself. Ass up. 

“Goddamn,” he grumbled under his breath, ripping off his shorts. He glanced down and he was way too fucking hard. His cock bobbed heavily against his stomach. The tip swollen and red as jasper. 

He squeezed the base of his cock. His fingers biting into her ass as he spread her apart. Everything was wet and swollen and all his.

“Fucking beautiful.” 

He teased his cock along her slippery slit. The fat head bumped against her clit, and she scrambled to fist the sheets. His jaw went slack, watching her cunt drip and clench around nothing.

“Shit - Javi.” She rocked back to try and catch even just the tip of him inside her. He snatched her by the hips, and held her in place. 

“Tell me what you want.” 

“Your cock,” she whined. “God, I want you to fuck me. Pleaseeee Javi!”

He praised her while lining himself up, then slowly buried himself inside her. He stared down as his cock completely disappeared. She was completely at his mercy. The thought made his cock twitch, and her pussy spasmed around him. 

Throwing his head back, he squeezed his eyes shut until his own release receded. He withdrew, taking a second to admire the ring of slick around his dick before thrusting back in.

“Holy shit. So fuck - fucking good.” She purposely clenched and it was way too tight; his stomach swooped. “Oh shit. Baby, don’t do that.” 

She gave a girlish little giggle. What a fucking menace. 

“That funny to you?” He asked, snagging the blunt head of his cock against her g-spot. Her only reply came in moan muffled by the sheets. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

With a firm grasp on her hips, he fucked her with long, deep strokes that always hit the spot. Her walls spasmed with every rock of his hips. She sobbed from being right on the edge.

He knew exactly what she needed, but couldn’t give it to her. At least, not at this angle.

“Come here, baby.” He helped haul her upwards. Her tacky skin sealed against his chest. His fingers skated across her breasts, circled her neglected nipples. He wished he could play with them, bite them, suck them, tease them, but most of the time they were too sensitive for anything but a feathery touch. The line between pain and pleasure was razor-thin and too blurry. 

Even now, the tiniest brush made her breath catch in her throat. 

Finally, Javier started to toy with her clit. With his cock grinding up into her warm, wet pussy and his lips frantically mouthing at the column of her throat, the first touch made her nearly buckle. Her walls squeezed him even tighter, and he swore this was heaven.

Javier wet his lips. “Kiss me, come on. I need it, baby.” He didn’t care how desperate he sounded. He didn’t care about the awkward angle or how messy it was when her tongue lapped against his. She tangled her fingers into his hair and gave a sharp tug. Every nerve and cell in his body fired at the same time, and he knew this wasn’t gonna last much longer.

He drove his cock as deep as it could go. Their skin slapped together and she was leaking everywhere, down his thighs, dripping onto the sheets.

“Perfect pussy,” he growled, and pinched her clit, rolling it between his fingers. “Fuck. I can feel it. So tight. Oh, come on. Fuck.” 

“Shit - Javi!” Her walls fluttered around him, and he clasped her against him right before her legs gave out.

She pulled away from his mouth, just enough to look into his eyes as he continued to split her open. The hand in his hair came to rest on his jaw; her thumb caressed over his cheek and it hooked on something deep in his chest.

He suddenly felt exposed. Vulnerable. Her eyes bore into his and he swore she could see inside him. She could see every crack and broken piece of him, and despite it - she still looked at him like that. 

She still loved him. 

There was a split-second where he felt like he couldn’t breathe. All of it became too much. All too much. His release licked across his skin, and swelled up inside him.

He made a low, punched out sound and buried his face into her neck. Lavender soap and soft skin. His own release took hold of him. 

“That’s it baby,” her voice seeped in through the dull ringing in his ears. “Fill me up, Javi.” His hips stuttered, and he didn’t recognize the noises that came out of him. Grunts. A near sob without any tears.

He swore he’d never cum so hard in his life.

Finally, his lips started to move across her throat, along the nape of her neck. Soft, sleepy kisses like the ones she would give his fingertips before bed. 

There was a strange part of him that felt like he should apologize, but he didn’t know for what exactly. 

“Was that okay?” He asked before the guilt could fester and turn into an ugly, black mold inside him. His voice sounded weak – meager. Maybe it could pass as breathless.

“Javi.” He still didn’t look at her, didn’t even move. His cock was still inside her, softening. “Javier.” 

That got his attention, and he drew back to find her eyes searching his. She seemed worried. “If it wasn’t okay, I would let you know. Alright?” She petted his cheek, “You always make me feel so good.”

“Now, you’re exaggerating.” 

His cum spilled down her legs once he pulled out of her. He groaned as he plopped onto his back, palming the space between his brows. 

She curled up beside him. “I’m serious, Javi. I liked it - a lot in fact.” 

“Okay.”

She scooped up the strands of hair stuck to his forehead. “Did you like it?” 

He hooked his arm around her, and kissed her on the nose. “Of course.” 

They laid like that for a minute, her body enfolded on him. Even with her clasped against him, he couldn’t shake himself out of this. It only seemed to make the uncomfortable feeling settle deeper into his chest.

Terminal. A sense of finality. 

He tugged her even closer, and tried to lose himself in the scent of her shampoo.

He told himself he was just tired. That was all this was.

---

Javier didn’t know what time it was, but it had to be well past midnight as the city was completely still, quiet aside from the recently awakened bugs. 

There was a storm rolling in. Flashes of white lit up the dark sky as he inhaled another drag of his cigarette. Smoke smoldered in his throat, burning his lungs like a cheap glass of whiskey.

This was exactly what he needed. Fresh air. The sweet shallowness of a nicotine buzz.

For the most part he stuck to nicorette gum, but sometimes that shit didn’t cut it. He kept a carton of Marlboros stashed in his glove boxes for moments such as this.

The nightmares didn’t happen nearly as often as they once did. He supposed, in a way, he’d grown used to the torrent memories. The flashbacks. Colombia. 

But tonight, it hadn’t been the sound of machine guns or war-torn streets that woke him up in a cold sweat. 

It was her. All his dreams lately had been about her. 

He was about half-way through his second cigarette when the sliding door opened. She was standing underneath the porch light, her satin robe shimmering. There was something so ethereal about her. 

“Thought I might find you out here,” she said. 

He gave a light chuckle; a trail of smoke wisped from the sides of his mouth, and he squished out the orange bulb. She knew about his smoking. She also knew what it meant when he did. 

She insisted on joining him on the porch step. Even though it took her a minute to get down. The silence settled comfortably around them. She seemed content to just sit there until he was ready. 

“It was just a bad dream,” he said, after a long moment. 

“Was it about me?” 

He didn’t answer, and instead stared out at the freshly-cut lawn. He’d assumed she had figured it out by now. There was no hiding anything from her. She could read him as easily as her go-to comfort book. The pages tabbed and torn, all marked up, but she cherished it nonetheless. 

He couldn’t lose her.

Each doctor’s appointment set him on edge. Complications. High-risk. It reminded him of his mom and the bullshit medical jargon they used. They gave her two years and it took her in eight months. 

Javier didn’t know how his dad did it. How he just continued to go on. How he lived in their house. If something happened to her, Javier couldn’t come back here. He didn’t even know how to live with an empty side of the bed anymore. 

“Javi.” Her soft voice beckoned him back to her. Her eyes bore into him. The warmth of her body pressed against him. “I won’t promise anything I can’t keep. But, Javi I promise, I feel fine. I feel good. And if I ever think something is wrong, I’ll tell you. Okay?” 

Javier cradled her face in his hands, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. “Promise?” 

“I swear. I swear, I will.” 

Abruptly, he crushed his lips against her forehead, then slotted her right beside him. With his fingers rooted on her hip, she stayed curled up against him. 

The air had turned sticky and the sky had begun to rumble by the time Javier looked her in the eyes. “What if we name one after my mom?” Caught off guard, her jaw went slack, and he knew it was because he rarely brought his mom up. 

He supposed he was scared too. He’d always neatly boxed away his grief. Every loss in his life was stuffed in the same tiny closet. Now, if he opened it up something else was bound to topple out, and whatever it was – it was going to hurt. 

He wished he could talk about her more. It felt like his wife barely knew anything about her. His mom deserved better than to be a silent memory. She deserved recognition. 

“Are you thinking María or Dolores?” She asked.

Javier snorted. “Neither.” 

His mom didn’t really like her name. María Dolores. She always said it made her sound too old. No one that really knew her ever called her by either. 

“I’m thinking Lola. Pops called her Dolly, but to everyone else - she was Lola.” 

“Lola,” she repeated, and rubbed her belly. “I like that. Lola Peña. Now, we just need to figure out the second.”

She squeezed his hand, and then; it started to rain.

[mot-hesbian]

I'm back on my Lily bs, especially with my headcanons

Ttpd is so Lily, Blair, and Jenny coded (some Serena but I feel like she's Evernights in a way I can't explain)

Here is my list from The Anthology

Fortnight- it's Dair, I have literally nothing else to say

The Tortured Poets Department- this is either post breakup derena or maybe dair

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: controversial take: this isn't 🪑. The vibes are wrong, it's Lily and William during their marriage (if you've read my fics you know what I mean by that. I have many feelings about them.)

Down Bad: Rufly??? Dair??? Serenate vibes??? 🪑???? Jagnes??? Who knows? It fits them all so well

So Long, London: it's 🪑. That's it. She tried so hard to hold on but he kept drifting away.

"You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding onto your quiet resentment. And my friends say it isn't right to be scared, everyday of a live affair, every breath feels like rarest air, and you're not sure if he wants to be there"

"You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"

"you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the alter waiting for the proof"

But Daddy I Love Him: Rufly, pure and simple.

"I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, screaming but Daddy I love him"

"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to I've more second of all this bitching and moaning"

"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace"

"there's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fastest smile, scandal does funny things to pride but brings Lovers closer"

"now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun... I'm his lady, and oh my God you should see your faces. Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And no, you can't come to the wedding."

Fresh Out The Slammer: the 🪑 and Louis to Dair pipeline. She knows who her first call will be to. And so do we.

Florida: I saw someone say this song is Ivy and Lola, and yeah, that's them if they had a decent storyline. Also, Jagnes. Jenny and Lily. Serena. Blair would never go near Florida outside of spring break.

Guilty As Sin?: I saw an edit of Rufly to this song and now all I can think of when I listen to it is them is season 1 (pre hook up) and season 2 (pre relationship). Lily and Serena's talk in season 1, the Thanksgiving episodes, the winter dance episode, the whole PI bs, everything with Allison tbh

"what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh, only in my mind"

"without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?"

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?: It's Jenny.

"I am what I am cuz you trained me"

"you caged me then called me crazy" "I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?"

"I was tame, I was gentle til the circus life made me mean, don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth"

"I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, crash your party like a record scratch as I shriek "who's afraid of little old me?" You should be"

"At all costs keep your good name" "Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke"

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): 🪑

"the smoke cloud billowed out his mouth like a freight train through a small town. The jokes he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud."

"Your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger, I can fix him. No, really, I can. And only I can."

Loml: Season 1 and 2 Derena

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: Lily, Jenny, Blair, and a hint of Serena.

"All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting "more". I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks, cuz I can do it with a broken heart."

"Cuz I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit. They said "babe, you gotta fake it til you make" and I did."

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Lily and William. I'm obsessed with them and the psychological ramifications his existence alone has on her, your honor. Like, I hate him, I hate them, but I'm fascinated by how horrible their relationship is. Also, Eric and William to a degree. Serena never seems to reach this point.

"Was any of it true? Gazing at me starry-eyed in your Jehovah's Witness suit. Who the fuck was that guy?"

"And I don't even want you back, I just want to know, if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

"you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins. In public, showed me off"

"you didn't measure up, in any measure of a man"

"And you'll confess why you did it, and I'll say "good riddance," cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time"

"You kicked out the stage lights but your still performing"

"and in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive"

The Alchemy: Lily and Blair in gen tbh, but specifically with Rufus and Dan.

"cuz the sign on your heart says it still belongs to me"

"he jokes that it's heroin but this time with an 'e'"

"what if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map. I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong/to where I belong"

"so when I touch down, call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team. Ditch the clowns, take the crown, cause I'm the one to beat."

Clara Bow: it's the Cece (Clara) to Lily (Stevie) to Blair (Taylor) to Jenny (the new gen) pipeline for me. I can't explain how Cece fits, but she does. (Serena being told all the fresh air bs her entire life can be applied here as well)

"This town is fake, but you're the real thing. Breath of fresh air through the smoke rings. Take the glory, give everything. Promise to be dazzling"

"You look like Clara Bow in this light, remarkable. All your life did you know? You'd be picked like a rose."

"You look like Stevie Nicks in '75, the hair and lips. The crowd goes wild at her fingertips, half moonshine, a full eclipse."

"You look like Taylor Swift in this light, we're loving it. You've got edge she never did, the future's bright. Dazzling"

"the crown is stained, but you're the real queen, flesh and blood amongst war machines. You're the new god we're worshipping. Promise to be... Dazzling"

"Beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours demanding "more." Only when your girlish glow flickers just so do they let you know, it's hell on earth to be heavenly. Them's the breaks, they don't come gently."

The Black Dog: Lily and William

"and so I watch as you walk into some bar called The Black Dog and pierce new holes in my heart"

"And it hits me, I just don't understand, how you don't miss me. In The Black Dog, when someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up, but she's too young to know this song that was intertwined with the magic fabric of our dreaming. Old habits die screaming."

"And I may never open up the way I did for you. And those best laid plans. You said I needed a brave man and proceeded to play him until I believed it too."

"now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes. And hire a priest to exorcize my demons, even if I die screaming"

"Six weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke"

"I hope it's shitty, in The Black Dog"

imgonnagetyouback: Lily and William and 🪑, Serena during her one-sided pining for Dan era.

"even if it's handcuffed I'm leaving here with you"

The Albatross: help, it's so Lily coded I can't

"Wise men once said, "Wild winds are death to the messenger," a rose by any other name is a scandal. Cautions issued, he stood shooting the messengers. They tried warning him about her."

"wise men once said "one bad seed kills the garden" "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen". Locked me up in towers, but I'd still visit in your dreams, and they tried to warn you about me."

"devils that you know, raise worse hell than a stranger. She's the death you chose, you're in terrible danger."

"cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you. She's the Albatross, she is here to destroy you"

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: Serenate or platonic Eric and Jenny works too

"if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say "I loved you, the way that you were"

"I changed into goddesses, villains and fools, changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you and you just watched it."

"could it be enough to just float in your orbit?can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses? Cooler in theory but not if you force it to be, it just didn't happen"

How Did It End?: Blair and Louis, more specifically Blair after the accident

"guess who we ran into at the shop, walking in circles like she was lost"

So High School: Rufly and Eleanor x Cyrus, I will not accept criticism

"I feel so high school when I look at you, cuz look at you"

"and in the blink of a crinkling eye, I'm sinking, our fingers entwined. Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights, tell me 'bout the the first time you saw me. I'll drink what you think, and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night, the brink of a wrinkle in time."

I Hate It Here: Lily and Jenny, they chose this life, regardless of how that choice was made, and it made them feel worthless. They both need to escape, they disappear into their different vices to help them cope.

"tell me all your secrets, all you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize"

"if comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck, now I know what's what. I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind, people need a key to get to, the only one is mine"

"I will go to lunar valleys in my mind, when they find a better planet only the gentil survived. I dreamt about it in the dark, the night I felt like I might die"

"I'm lonely, but I'm good. I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine. I'm save all my romanticism for my inner life, and I'll get lost in purpose. This place made me feel worthless."

thanK you aIMee: Jenny and Blair in high school

"all that time you were throwing punches, I was building something. And I can't forgive the way you made me feel. Screamed "fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushing. But I can't forget the way you made me heal."

"I built a legacy you can't undo, but when I count the scars there's a moment of truth. That there wouldn't be this, if there wasn't you."

I Look In People's Windows: it's Bart era rufly

"what if your eyes looked up and meet mine one last time"

The Prophecy: Jenny and Blair

Cassandra: I cannot explain it but this is Lily

Peter: Carter and Serena?????? Is that you???? She's Peter

"are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer? I've heard great things Peter"

"the goddess of timing, once found us beguiling, Peter was she lying? My ribs say she did"

"lost in the lost boys chapter of your life"

The Bolter: Oh look, new Lily song just dropped. And Serena. To quote @strideofpride it always comes back to mothers and daughters

"with a quite bewitching face. Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun til you get to know her."

"then she runs like it's a race, behind her back her best mates laughed and they nicknamed her "the Bolter""

"she's been many places with men of many faces, first their off to the races and she's laughing drawing aces but none of it is changing that the chariot is waiting. Hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping."

"all her fucking lives flashed before her eyes, it feels like the time she fell through the ice, then came out alive"

"and at first blush this is fate. When it's all roses, portrait poses, central park lake row boats... That's when she sees the littlest leaks and just knows, she must bolt."

"ended with the slam of a door, then he'll call her a whore, wish he wouldn't be sore but if she was leaving it felt like breathing."

Robin: Eric, this is legit Lily and Serena when literally anything involves Eric

I can't even draw up lines, it's the whole song

The Manuscript: any relationship involving Blair

"all that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I reread the manuscript, but the story isn't mine anymore."

[havendance]

A collection of Helena Bertinelli/Huntress panels that are important to me:

(Detective Comics #653)

Batman: That's not the way I work. I'm not a killer. Huntress: You sanctimonious... You're looking for fair play in Gotham? I got you all wrong, Batman. I thought we became what we are for the same reasons; because the streets took away everything we loved.

Detective Comics 652-653 were my first introduction to Helena's character and this was the panel that really stuck out to me about her and who she was. This is what I kept coming back and thinking about. The contrast between them. They way that they're almost similar. Just "I thought we were the same". That's the good stuff right there.

(Huntress (1989) #2)

Huntress: I'm not strong. On TV... those overgrown wrestlers wear show-off flashy costumes... symbols of how strong they are. But it's not strong people who need costumes... It's the weak ones. Weak people who have to hide behind spooky capes and masks... make themselves seem more fearsome... so no one will see them for the harmless creatures they are... harmless as a frightened little girl who's lost her parents.

One of the things that really compelled about Huntress '89 (and to an extent Huntress '94, though that one just wasn't as good) was the dichotomy between the Huntress and the scared little girl that Helena still felt like underneath it. The contrast between the front she puts up, the way she puts on the mask and lives in it, and just how part of her is still caught up in the tragedy that birthed the Huntress in the first place.

(Showcase '93 #10)

Helena (internal narration): Maybe's not the word for it. Monday morning: David Stone will never have a chance to turn savage, never know a child of his own...but I can't bring myself to think it's better this way. Survival is always better.

Helena throughout the entire two part story that this concludes has been reflecting on the cycle of violence. It's really fascinating to see the way that her cynicism interacts with the fact that she really does want to help this student of hers who's been abused by his father. And the way she reflects on it you can see also thinking about herself and the Huntress as a product of violence and you get this impression of self-loathing as well. It's all just a really interesting story and I definitely recommend checking it out if you get a chance.

(Nightwing #29)

Huntress: How can you do what you do? Nightwing: Meaning? H: Look at this town. How can you play the white knight? How long can you stick to your “code”? N: As long as it takes. H: And if you fail? And you will fail. N: Then I fail, Helena. N: But I won’t let them win by becoming one of them. H: You have to play by their rules to defeat the. N: It’s not broken. H: What? N: Your ankle.

I've talked about this page before in multiple contexts, but like, I just really like it. It's an interesting look at what separates Helena from the bats. Her cynicism of you have to play the game to beat them. And also the last exchange "it's not broken... you're ankle", I just really like it. It works for me.

(JLA #32)

Kid: Do you have super strength? Huntress: No K: Are you invulnerable? H: I'm afraid not. K: Then how are you going to save him? What are you gonna do? H: I'm going to do everything I'm capable of doing!

I think this one speaks for it's self. I just boils down what I find compelling about non-powered heroes.

(Huntress: Cry for Blood #6)

Question: There's still time. Helena: Blood cries for blood, Vic. H: Santo killed his sister. Q: Dammit, where does it end? Q: When is it enough?

I'm going to be totally honest, this one's here because it appeals to me personally. I am obsessed with the motif of "blood cries for blood" (and also the Santo killed his own sister thing, because I'm always this close to catching kindly ones brainrot). Anyway, vengeance. Very compelling.

[devine-fem]

LONG POST! you can skip.

I have come to rant and vent about Jack from Wonder Woman 2023 and why they are a transgender/TRANSFEM allegory.

I would like to preference this by saying that you can feel represented through this character for a multitude of reasons regardless of being trans or not but I personally think they’re some sort of transfem allegory and I’m here to talk about why because 1) its my blog and 2) I am obsessed and I’m here to argue that they are transfem, a transfem allegory or at the very least transfem coded.

Who is Jack?

“Jack” is an extreme Wonder Woman “fanboy” that we know is ill, their tests have been coming up slim and they've had a multitude of doctors come and try and cure them and to give them a couple of good memories before they pass, their parents ask Wonder Woman to spend a day with them.

Allegory 1.

From their timid nature, I assume that a lot of their life they feel like an experience is ruined if they're involved or feel apologetic if they're not perfect all the time. This to me makes me think “Jack” likes to try and embody Wonder Woman during stressful or traumatizing situations. They idealized her to never be afraid, anxious, or quiet.

Allegory 2.

There’s this montage that features “Jack” doing a bunch of things that an Amazon would do like archery, wearing the armory, or eating the fruit, but also things that Wonder Woman would do like use her lasso, throw her tiara or sword fight, etc.

It makes me think “Jack” wanted to spend their time doing things that made them feel strong, things that could really immerse them into the Wonder Woman experience. Something they probably yearned for themselves, probably used imagining themselves in the life of an Amazon to escape.

Allegory 3.

Point 1.

“I don't think this should be what I… like.”

There are expectations for you in the world, and certain people, most of the time a trans girl will feel the pressure that she should be this way or act this way but they simply can’t because it's not how their brains work, it's not how they function, and when you're told otherwise you start to think there’s something deeply wrong with you like you’re broken.

Point 2.

“It’s my dad… and the other kids.”

Trans people, you ever have the dad or either parent feel like they can’t support you and you have the desire to be called your gender but they avoid calling you gendered things at all like “Boy” or “Girl” and avoid gendered things entirely by just calling you “Kid” or “child”? Because that is what this feels like. A relationship between a father and son is strong but when the son shows disinterest in that relationship then the father feels rejected. Their happiness to have a son feels strained and they begin to wonder how they should interact with the child.

“Jack” also feels like their dad doesn't support them and their interests, be it something happening off-panel or the natural feeling trans youth feel like they’re being subtly judged by their parent even though they don't want to say it. That along with their community judging them to their face and ostracizing them for being different.

Point 3.

“Why can't I like Superman or Batman and… I don't know… Baseball and like normal stuff? For a boy? Why is this good?”

Boys feel represented through Superman or Batman, a strong invincible, and macho man. Not a woman, why does Wonder Woman make “Jack” feel seen for the first time in their life? Why does the world of a woman give “Jack” so much escapism? Do you get where I’m going with this?

Point 4.

“Is it because I’m sick inside? Is that why God made me sick?”

It's the idea that inside you, regardless of what you may look like the stuff inside you makes you sick and wrong. The person inside you that you've been holding onto for so long. It's like you feel impure and sinful and like you deserve to be punished for something you didn't ask for cause then maybe the punishment will make everything feel right again.

This to me at the very least sounds like the typical “Superboy trapped in a Wonder Girl’s body” if you know what I mean. I know they're coming to terms with their death and this character might die but I hope they don't, I really do.

This character was supposed to reach out from the pages and touch the reader who relates to it most, like making male Wonder Woman fans feel seen… but how come it reduced me; a trans girl Wonder Woman fan to tears? I felt that I connected to Wonder Woman, I felt my gender through her just like “Jackie” probably does. I selfishly want to see more of them personally.

Anyway, I love them so so so much. Wonder Woman come in many different shapes and forms and personally I like to think of them as my favorite “Wonder Girl.”

END OF POST.

[sunsetstarving]

ok hi i like think i talked abt your ocs with you when you first shared the slides with me but i was going through my drive and i saw it again and i was like ok wait let me look! and i now have Thoughts

- FIRST OFF nefise is like so eldest daughter immigrant trauma. if this makes sense. i also understand why she turns evil for a bit

- dani's like my fave ever btw im like so not normal abt him. just the implications of the whole being someone whos always positive and optimistic (slightly delusional) and then starting to lose all that when the world starts ending. starting to lose yourself bc youre the literal fucking symbol of hope but you cant bring yourslef to be the least bit hopeful. god. rattling him around in my brain

- pls give kore a kazoo. im begging. also a turtle fits the green theme. shes like the coolest btw and i get the whole. like wanting to be someones first chocie but you feel like theyre always going to choose someone that they can love and love them romantically and hating yourself a little bit for not being able to like ouchhh man why you gotta zir like that. ough

- TESNIS LIKE THE BIGGEST LOSER im so obsessed w her. i love that you made her a jock but also a debate kid i think thats the funniest combo. also like the whole trying to remain unchanging/constant like the "if it aint broke dont fix it" mentality but then it DOES break and DANI breaks so then she HAS to change to fix it and. arhghghgh

- felicite!!!!! dude. ok the implications of her being the symbol of chance and the fact that the symbol of chance even exists at all is so crazy to me because like yeah. sometimes it truly is Like That. sometimes things are so out of your control and you can do nothing to stop it its just pure fucking luck and fate and the univesre shifting and ohhhhh god. i am so !!!! amped abt her and skull/fibula btw

- YOOO nefise and dani. idk if youve watched jjk but they are So satosugu coded i will elaborate if youd like but this is rlly long already i might have to take this to disc

- tesni and delshad WILL drive me insane. the absolute vulnerability and horrors of being so deeply known........ ugh

- said this already but. felicite and skull chance and death like broooo the fact that something so horrible something that takes so much from ppl is so closely tied to the concept of randomness and the unknwon. driving me insane

ANYWAYSSS thats like all of it um. yes i have thoughts! anyways

HIIII okay i finally got on desktop it took me a little bit we have been going everywhere. traveling is enjoyable sometimes but also...not always lmao BUT ANYWAY ILY AUGH i've been thinking abt this since last night. HELP all lighthearted but i do not think u ever said anything!! only the discord interaction i have been waiting ever since and boy oh boy.... the personal connection to every single one of them and the way u pointed them out immediately.

YEAH nefise is kind of just Like That. it came with the territory (being the asian character i project on forever) and also like..... the turning evil bit is everything to me bc the way she regrets none of it when she thinks about it from a distance but all it took was the sliver of hesitation, the flicker of exhaustion from constantly throwing herself at every problem, to simply take her down completely and have the team lose her. Yeah

dani my beloved... he was the original knight concept too. upon seeing this i HAD to draw him being a miserable fucker (<- phone battery ran out i will send these once i can grab some pictures!!) *jeopardy voice* what is burning out from the expectation to lead your world to the future despite having none of what you're supposed to be giving

YEAHHHH YOU GET IT. the. knowing that you're not broken and that this is just you but then the people you love make it feel like you shouldn't be the way that you are, that you need to change? forever experience. and while it continues to hurt and i don't think we can escape it i think good friends are a good remedy for the pain... and also ur so right they need a turtle so bad

and AHAHAHA tesni wahoo loser overachiever asian parents' favorite child (good at everything) and also biggest problem (anger issues) of all time. also love the family drama aspect like Yeah ofc she's going to have to change and yield and give ground. she has a sibling to take care of damn it

FELICITE AND FIBULA AOUGH.... this is so funny bc i literally had no clue what she was going to be but then chance sounded good. and then i was like Oh. the Implications of this are horrific. additionally yeah i think abt it all the time.... i've been following this comic series on instagram abt the grim reaper being a kind guy bc he's the messenger, not the one who controls any of it, and like... ouch, you know? the fact that it is unfair and horrible and there is no good timing about it. that sometimes it lines up just in time for a hilarious pun. death and chance being intertwined in the most cosmically random ways but in ways that absolutely make sense.

I STILL HAVEN'T the urge to ask vs the urge to wait until i've gotten to it vs the knowledge i will Not be doing that any time soon and. i should probably ask. pls tell me more in disc i would love to hear

tesni and delshad will kill me btw. that's like. going to suck. i'm gonna be so emotions about it bc it is not something i have yet delved into but i think abt it all the time. even more family drama. all of them scrambling to adjust to some of the most awful news one can never take back. grahh or whatever

anyway. i love this i love u i am SOOO happy you sent this!!!!! i am always so ecstatic to talk about the kids they are so beloved to me fr <333

[mezmer]

Essya about song I liek saving for laeter< 3

"Enchanted," by the neo-progressive rock band Enchant, is a haunting exploration of infatuation, obsession, and the terrifying power of unrestrained emotion. The song's narrator is caught in a whirlwind of newfound feelings, drawn to a mysterious figure who evokes both ecstasy and dread. This song serves as an opening to a romantic infatuation laden with confusing self-realizations and pessimism.

The opening lines, "There's an aura around you, I'm captivated by your eyes," establish an immediate sense of enthrallment. The narrator is spellbound, consumed by the allure of this enigmatic presence. The phrase "Why am I so starry eyed?" hints at the dreamlike quality of this encounter, as if the narrator has stumbled into a fairy tale, bewitched by a captivating presence, and questioning how this power can consume them so easily.

The narrator's confession, "I once lived with honor, followed codes of chivalry," suggests a past life of discipline and restraint. This individual was once grounded in principles, adhering to a moral code that valued integrity and self-control. However, the allure of this new love has shattered those foundations, leading the narrator to "falter under the spell of Annowree." The name "Annowree" is shrouded in mystery, adding to the song's otherworldly atmosphere, Perhaps Annowree is a siren-like figure, luring the narrator towards a dangerous obsession.

The chorus, "Oh- this love's not for real, the emotions I feel, oh- stronger than tempered steel," reveals the narrator's internal conflict. They recognize the destructive potential of this infatuation, acknowledging that it is not grounded in reality. Yet, the emotions they experience are overwhelming, "stronger than tempered steel," suggesting a force beyond their control. The narrator is conflicted beyond epic proportions, as conveyed in both symbolism and tell-tale lyricism.

The questions, "Where did you come from? What's your name? Is it all a game?" reflect the narrator's confusion and desperation. They seek answers, trying to understand the nature of this alluring figure and the true intentions behind their actions. The line, "You ignite men's hearts aflame to burn for you in vain," paints a picture of a heartbreaker, a femme fatale who leaves a trail of broken hearts in her wake. The narrator is aware of the obvious danger, and perhaps this plays a part in their pessimistic view of their own infatuation.

The next line, "Like a magnet you draw me, like a spider to a fly" emphasizes the predatory nature of this relationship. The narrator is drawn inexorably towards their beloved, like a helpless insect ensnared in a web. The narrator is aware, and expects their desire to consume them whole. The line, "An empty heart is so easy to seduce and hypnotize," reveals the narrator accepting their vulnerability. Their emotional emptiness has made them susceptible to the charms of this enigmatic figure, adding more context to the predatory imagery preceding this line.

The question, "Is this my destiny?" underscores the narrator's fear and uncertainty. They feel trapped in a nightmarish situation, contemplating their sanity and grasp on reality. The repetition of the earlier questions, "Where did I come from? What's my name?" reveals the narrator's loss of identity. They have become so consumed by this infatuation that they no longer recognize themselves. The narrator outwardly wonders what the way out of this situation could possibly be.

The lines, "And the ones who let their hearts rule their minds will burn their bridges when they've crossed, leave the world behind," serve as a warning. It cautions against the dangers of surrendering to passion without reason, of allowing emotions to dictate one's actions. There is no way back once the heart has assumed control of the mind, drawing a clear line between what the two realms are capable of. The narrator's heart leads them to this dangerous place as they realize that they are on a path of self-destruction, but they are presently unable to resist the allure of their beloved.

The final chorus intensifies the narrator's internal turmoil: "No- this love's not for real". Again, the narrator reflects on a growing awareness of the dangers ahead as they question their ability to break free from this spellbinding enchantment. Adding "No" to the return of the chorus creates a sense of terror and refusal. A desperate plea, "Can I break this spell?" leaves the listener with a sense of foreboding. "Only time will tell" further reinforces the fact that there is no way to know how this fascination ends. The narrator is caught up in a pattern of making assumptions and calculations throughout the song but finally accepts that they can't possibly know what could happen.

"Enchanted" is a powerful and evocative exploration of the dark side of love. It delves into the different shades of lust and love, the loss of self, and the destructive power of unrestrained emotion. The narrator is trapped in a cycle of obsession, unable to escape the enchantment that has consumed them, but also patiently, perhaps desperately, waiting for a sign. The narrator's intelligence and self-awareness could suggest control wanders through their heart, but the emotional event is so awesome that they let control slip away in favor of passion. The future remains uncertain, but the song's haunting melody and lyrics suggest a tragic end to this ill-fated love. The song's enigmatic lyrics and soaring melodies create a haunting atmosphere that lingers long after the music fades.

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

OKAY WAIT I SAW UR TAG ABT TTPD - THOUGHTS??? FAV TRACK??? OVERALL RANKING COMPARED TO OTHER ALBUMS??? WE MUST DISCUSS!!!

i cant explain it but this album feels like an amalgamation of folklore and midnights, with the same 'tragic victorian' vibes as evermore... idk im just saying words but do u get it??? like i cant explain it but the fortnight mv has ivy energy to me... i think because ivy ive always associated with this movie, 'the world to come' (would highly recommend), which is mid-late victorian era and then the mv is obliously very heavilly inspired by the 1870s/80s, both in terms of aesthetics and the general theme of female hysteria and its 'treatments'...

it also has massive chloe beale vibes to me... she strikes me as such an annoying swiftie (i say this lovingly) and just the overall sound is something i think she would absolutely EAT UP... my babys such a hopeless romantic, what can i say...

honestly the general themes are kinda giving emily nelson... FLORIDA??? GUILTY AS SIN??? this woman needs her ass ATE

i should say that im making all these deductions having listened to only 1/4 of the songs so far... i also really hope that i havent overstepped the mark and that you care about this as much as i apparently do lmao...

NO BUT I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY TTPD OPINIONS BECAUSE ALL I DID YESTERDAY WAS PLAY TEARS OF THE KINGDOM AND LISTEN TO THE ANTHOLOGY ON LOOP

It is stunning, I've so many people be like "I don't like it 😭" and it's like??? Are we even listening to the same album??? This is a masterpiece what are you talking about??? It is solidly in my top 3, I think my album order is probably something like this now (Ana don't look):

folklore

The Tortured Poets Department

Speak Now TV

evermore

Midnights

Reputation

Red TV

1989 TV

Fearless TV

Debut

Lover

As for favourite songs, is all of them an answer??? 😂😂 No but seriously, it is headed for being my 2nd no skip album of TSwifts collection, but top contenders for favourite include:

loml

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Florida!!! (ft. Florence + The Machine)

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?

thanK you aIMee

Cassandra

Peter

The Manuscript

But Daddy I Love Him

I have been saying the same thing!!!! It's giving folklore and Midnights with a touch of Reputation and I am LIVING for it 😍😍😍 no but you're so right, honestly the imagrey of this album has me in a chokehold, Cassandra has scratched my mythology hyperfixation itch so good, I feel like I could spend hours just analysing every song. It is giving Victorian vibes, that gothic traditionilist style of writing and metaphors for feeling 'other' displayed through monsters and magic, the elements of tragedy and fatalism UGH I'm so in love with it 😭😭😭

Chloe Beale is absolutely the annoying swiftie (affectionate) archetype, and I love that for her 😂😍 she would be forcing Beca to listen to each and every single one and watching her the whole time to make sure she was appreciating it (Beca likes to deny she's a swiftie but has been known to absolutely drool over the production of some of the albums in secret)

YES!!! Biggggg Emily Nelson vibes, Whose Afraid Of Little Old Me is very Emily coded to me dfklgjdlkg

There is no need to apologise, I am fully obsessed with TTPD and I will happily ramble about it on main with no shame 😭😭 YOU GOTTA HMU WHEN YOU'VE LISTENED TO THE WHOLE THING, ALL 31 SONGS

[imahoeforsokka]

TTPD LIVE REACTION

1. Fortnight

I AM SO SAD

THIS HURTS

POST MALONE YAYAYAYAY

bro fucking cheated

WTF HAPPENED IN FLORIDA

2. TTPD

oh my god he fucking cheated

is he insane

genuinely

NO-FUCKING-BODY LMAO

CHARLIE PUTH AWW

this is so awful

i’m drowning

YOU TOLD LUCY WHAT????

SHE TOLD JACK WHAT?!!!!!????

he would not marry her i hate him

who else decodes you is insane

3. my boy only breaks his favorite toy

oh?? this is hot??

ok lana del rey relax

OH MY LORD

PUT ME BACK ON MY SHELF???

SAND CASTLES

THIS IS SO PRETYY WHAT

HE SAW FOREVER SO HE SMASHED UP.

HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

not ken

HE TOLD ME IM BETTER OFF BUT IM NOT. OUCH OUCH

4. down bad

ooooooo pretty

cosmic love ok

I MIGHT JUST DIE IT WOULD MAKE DO DIFFERENCE

HEAVEN STRUCK

HOW DARE YOU THINK ITS ROMANTIC

FUCK YOU IF I CANT HAVE US OH MY GOD

jesus he’s gone

5. so long, london

already brutal bc it’s a track five

rip london boy

oh this is COOL

OH MY GOD HER VOICE

oh the tragedy

YOULL FIND SOMEONE

GAVE YOU ALL THAT YOUTH FOR FREE.

ILL FIND SOMEONE.

quiet resentment

not sure if he wants to be THERE

YOU SWORE YOU LOVED ME, WHERE WERE THE CLUES?

I DIED ON THE ALTER WAITING FOR THE PROOF. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

cause i loved this place for so long, london.

that was insane holy fuck

6. but daddy, i love him

wait

is this about

no way??

is this

i feel like im wrong

ok update i was wrong

oh my god this is ouch

BEDROOM EYES LIKE A REMEDY

this is strangely fearless coded?

like mature fearless

this feels like love story got punched in the face?

BITCHING AND MOANING YES

VIPERS DRESSED IN EMPATHS CLOTHING!!!!!!

this is so pretty wow

but brings lovers,,, closer

okay wait i might have been right earlier omg

TRAVIS?

WILD BOY

i’m having is baby is HILARIOUS i love her

i think that was the transition of joe to travis and i’m obsessed

7. fresh out the slammer

ok wild west

pretty baby

another summer, taking cover

he was with her in dreams OK JOLENE

for just one glimpse of his smile

swirled you into all of my poems omg

AMERICAN DREAMS

IMAGINARY RINGS

i did my time

wow.

jack is KILLING IT HOLY HELL

8. Florida!!!

im already scared from track 1

weed or little babies is crazy

is one hell of a drug

hey florence

CHEATING HUSBAND DISAPPEARED

NO ONE ASKS QUESTIONS HERE

is that a bad thing to say in a song? OH MY GOD

ok DRUMS

they have a fun mix woah

ok we like florida cool ok

ok

cool cool cool

ok

shitstorm in texas

that’s so cool omg

9. guilty as sin?

ok hey drums

i have a love song inkling?

oh this is so pretty

mine on my upper thigh omfg

ok this is gorgeous

romantic asf

hey bible

i keep recalling things we never DID

ouch

downtown lights 😭

10. who’s afraid of little old me?

why is bro killing her geez

ok SPOOKY

what scandal

i’m so invested

we could all laugh until i cry

real

oh you SHOULD BE BITCH

ASLYUM

DRUNK ON MY OWN TEARS

oh this is CAMP

ok blank space

her VOICE god

that did not feel like 5 minutes wow

wow.

11. i can fix him

i’m so scared omfg

hello FOLK

this is so pretty wow

ok we are talking’ TEXAS

this shit is SOUTHERN

he just hadn’t met me yet

my man

wow

her VOICE

oh this is HOT

hey jack missed you

WOAH? MAYBE I CANT?

oh my god that was so

wow

12. loml

i. am. scared.

the time i was away??????? rep????

i felt i was better safe than STARRY EYED. OUCH

ONE KISS TO GETTING MARRIED

THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

A MILLION TIMES

you took me to hell too

cinephile

black and white

YOU SHIT TALKED ME UNDER THE TABLE

BRAIDS OF LIES

ILL BE NEVER LEAVE NEVER MIND

LOSS OF MY LIFE.

JESUS.

ARRON GOD DAMN YOU

13. I can do it with a broken heart

hey pool

ok mastermind

oh my god tour

this hurts

geez

BITCH SMILE

HE SAID HED LOVE ME ALL HIS LIFE

CROWD WAS CHANTING MORE

IM SO DEPRESSED I ACT LIKE ITS MY BIRTHDAY

IM OBSESSED WITH HIM BUT HE AVOIDS ME

SHE IS SO PRODUCTIVE

i love the voices in the background so much omg

i’m glad she’s proud of herself

CAUSE IM MISERABLE!

AND NOBODY EVEN KNOWS!

ok that was awesome

i laughed out loud

14. the smallest man who ever lived

i’m scared

again

oh god

Jehovah’s witness suit lmao

ha they ghosted him

oh damn.

RUSTING MY SPARKLING SUMMER

OH DAMN

the breath christ

NOT THE PUSH PENS

showed her off barely

this hurts actually

i’m scared for the bridge

oh hello bridge

WOW

A GUN UNDERNEATH OUR BED

WOW

WILL THIS ALL BE DECLASSIFIED

WOW

YOU CRASHED MY PARTY AND YOUR RENTAL CAR

NORMAL GIRLS ARE BORING BUT YOU WERE GONE BY THE MORNING

holy

actual

frick

wow

wow

wow

15. the alchemy

hey beat ok

touch down ha

ok comeback song

THESE BLOKES WARM THE BENCHES

THATS HILARIOUS

AW

hey LOVE SONG

she had her american revolution song

16. clara bow

i’m scared pt. 3927237

ok guitar

aww cute

hey taylor! pls don’t die, thanks!

DAZZLING

STEVIE NICKS

oh wow

this is stunning

demanding ‘more’

it’s hell on earth to be HEAVENLY

WOW

HEY TAYLOR SWIFT

you’ve got edge she never did

is crazy

ok that’s all bye (until 2 maybe?)

EDIT:

OKAY MAJOR UPDATE SHES INSANE

15 MORE

17. the black dog

oh my god

his location

it’s A BAR

i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me

she’s too young to know this song

do you hate me

was it hazing

six weeks of breathing clean air i miss the SMOKE

wow

wow

wow

18. imgonnagetyouback

ok skirt

you knew the price going in ohmygod

get him back olivia rodrigo??

this is so pretty

oh god the BRIDGE

ERAS FADING INTO GREY

19. The Albatross

ok hey FOLK

CROSS YOUR THOUGHTLESS HEART

oh my god this is GORGEOUS

this is so evermore???

idek

her voice wow

19. Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

this opens quick wow

just say “i loved you the way that you were” christ

jesus

this is so beautiful wow

THE GLINT IN MY EYE TRACED THE DEPTHS OF YOUR SIGH

WOW

SCARLET MAROON

this is wow

will i always wonder

20. how did it end

we herby conduct this post mortem!!!

southern accent maybe a little??

this is so pretty wow

oh my god OW

DIDNT YOU HEAR THEY CALLED IT ALL OFF

THE BRIDGE OUCH

d-y-i-n-g OK JUST STAB ME TAYLOR

wow wow wow

21. so high school

CUTE???

SMOKING YOUR JOKES ALL NIGHT

this is so 90s???!???!??!

YOU KNOW HOW TO BALL, I KNOW ARISTOTLE!!;!,!,!,$;$;

TOUCH ME WHILE YOUR BROS PLAY GRAND THEFT AUTO?,?,!:!,,$,’

ok this is so cranberries

AMERICAN PIE IS SO CUTE

WOW

this is like making me giddy

ok AWWW

22. i hate it here

QUICK QUICK

AHHH

i’m there most of the year cause i HATE IT HERE

the 1830s w/o the racists and bids real

electriciTEE

obsessed

23. thanK you aMIee

okay here we go

i’m fearing for kim’s life

hometown

OH

hey bully

fucK you aMIee is so funny

kim is shaking

this is kinda country

taylor is so sweet

DAMN ANDREA

that there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you

wow

beat my spirit black and blue

wow

LMAO

AND SO I CHANGE YOUR NAME AND ANY REAL DEFINING CLUES

HA

NORTH LMAO

okay she’s bat shit crazy for that

24. i look in peoples windows

pretty

hey jack!! (found him)

down down down down

im addicted to the “if only”

GOD

one more time

25. the prophecy

oh, but it’s gone again

I GOT CURSED LIKE EVE GOT BITTEN

ok we are in our religious parallel era wow

god WOW

still dream of him

howl like a wolf at the moon

coven around a sorcerers table

NO SIGN OF SOULMATES

GREIGE

sweet lord

26. cassandra

wow wow

i have nothing else to say

just

WOW

do you believe me now?

THE CHRISTIAN CHORUS LINE

not a single word was heard

27. peter

is it something i did?

god

promises oceans deep, but never to keep

this is beautifully tragic

you said you were gonna grow up

28. the bolter

oh my god.

town car speeding!

slam of a door, then he’ll call her a WHORE!!!!

ouch

this is so different

there’s escape in escaping

then came out alive

29. robin

you have no idEA

this is so bittersweet

wilder and lighter. for you.

30. the manuscript

hey piano

i’d give you my heart if you needed it

but soon it was over

and couldn’t sleep unless it was in her mothers bed

wow

ouch

all that’s left is the manuscript

ok i’m done that’s a perfect album

[autisticgirliesbracket]

Symmetra/Satya Vaswani propaganda (quotes are bolded):

Symmetra is cold and calculated, she values logic and always treats it as a major factor in her decisions, and she is unusually calm and analytical almost all of the time. She is obsessed with order and perfection, though unlike most examples where it's part of unspecified mental issues, Blizzard specified that it's linked to her being autistic. In one of her highlight intros, she is annoyed when the camera goes askew and corrects it. In-game, Torbjörn tries to use this to tease her, but it backfires because she's already checked. She has a highly rigid and inflexible worldview and was raised to be absolutely loyal to Vishkar, who raised her out of poverty to make her an architech; however, she has a genuine desire to do good in the world and is not so indoctrinated as to ignore the morally questionable actions her company sometimes takes, currently leaving her at an impasse where she is doubting her allegiance to Vishkar, but simultaneously does not yet seem ready to break away from them. She is also a prodigy with hard light, which could easily be a special interest.

In her comic "A Better World," during an important meeting with the mayor of Rio de Janeiro, she falls back on cliches ("Better the devil you know, as it were?"), then gets distracted by a "sloppy" slightly crooked painting, wondering "How can she tolerate that?" as she adjusts it. She experiences sensory overload in the crowd of protesters in the favela, overwhelmed by how familiar it is to the slums she describing it as "All colors and chaos and stench." In her inner monologue, she says, "Sanjay has always said I was...different. Everyone has. Asking where I fit on the spectrum. It used to bother me. Because I knew it was true. It doesn't bother me anymore. Because I do things nobody else can do." After Vishkar blows up their rivals' building, starting a fire in the favela and opening the way for them to move in, she tries to comfort herself with the thought that they're giving the people "What fits their station...and serves the greater order" and "We're making the world a better place." However, she is clearly troubled by the unjust actions her company took to get the contract, and is having trouble reconciling them with her worldview.

Her short story "Stone by Stone" opens with her being confused about whether someone is using a metaphor, and she has had lifelong trouble with idioms and figurative language:

“Drop in the bucket" was one of those phrases that, like "kissing" development good-bye, had confused Satya when she was younger. There was no bucket, no drop, and certainly no kissing. Now, though, she had learned to...what was the saying? "Roll with the punches.” (4)

She also refrains from pointing out Sanjay's dishonesty because she's used to this from Vishkar (following social codes, even though they clash with her sense of honesty) and is troubled by the sight of the broken statue because of the disorder it represents.

In her negotiations with the government of the village Vishkar offended, she is very truthful and straightforward with them (standing in stark contrast with Sanjay's corporate sleaze from the previous scene) and falls back on social rules (all people are welcome in the temple) to proceed. She is uncomfortable with Zenyatta's offer to stay at the temple as pilgrims do because "'I am not a pilgrim, [...] I am an architech.' She was here to do a job; it was important that they understand this" (6). Furthermore, this would disrupt her plans, and "She had set routines, which ensured there was always order and calm in some part of her life. Even in hotels, Satya had time alone and cleaved to her routines as much as possible" (7). However, she eventually concedes when Zenyatta reframes his offer as helping her figure out how to do her job better by understanding what the temple wants. Her odd manner of social interactions is also notable in this exchange:

"I know about Mondatta. He was killed," Satya recalled. "Yes,” Zenyatta replied, seemingly untroubled by her blunt statement. “Before that, I did not realize omnics could die. You are machines; I had assumed you could replace parts.” (7)

She then relates with Zenyatta--an omnic, a.k.a sapient robot (who are often autistic-coded in media)--about being confused by common turns of phrase:

“Mondatta deplored violence. Many, including myself, believe he was killed by those who disapprove of building bridges between humans and omnics.” “Building...? Oh,” Satya said. “The first bridge that came into my head was a literal one.” “I too was quite literal, at first. Although omnics share sentience with humans, I found them so perplexing. They would say things such as, ‘lend a hand,’ or ‘cat’s got your tongue.’ But their hands were flesh, not metal; how could they lend one? How might a cat obtain their tongues? Were tongues detachable? I had some very interesting pictures in my head for a long time!” Satya laughed, confiding, “That still happens to me sometimes.” He bent his shining head close to hers and whispered, conspiratorially, “Me, too.” (8)

Like Zenyatta--and all omnics--Satya finds herself relating to the first omnic, Aurora, who wanted "To understand what makes humans...human"; the temple was important to her because it accepted her for who she was without judgement (9).

When Zenyatta confronts her about the impact of Vishkar's development, she falls back on automatic scripts about how they make the world better and Sanjay's suggestions for what the temple wants. Afterward, he apologizes that having her stay at the temple distresses her and says "'We find great comfort and purpose in our routines,'” a sentiment Satya concurs with, and expresses hope that she will be able to deal with her discomfort by resonating with their routines (11).

Satya has conflicted feelings about wearing the temple robe she is offered, but ultimately decides to wear it to demonstrate that she truly wants to help:

There was already so much that was different; she wanted to control what she could. She should honor the temple traditions but was deeply reluctant to change her appearance. And she had told Zenyatta that she had not come as a pilgrim. The gold and rust colors appealed to her, though, and the texture was pleasing. Satya knew what she had to do. (14)

Zenyatta gives her the Orb of Perception as a meditation aid, telling her to “'Move the orb from one hand to the other. Focus on its weight; how it feels. How it moves'” (14). Despite her initial reluctance to stay in the temple and having had difficulty with meditating in the past, she finds herself getting used to the routine and stimming with the Orb: "At some point during the first few days, Satya realized her body had adapted to the thin mat on the stone floor. The robe had become comfortable, familiar, and she liked the smoothness of it against her skin. When she felt anxious, wanting to shift position or do something with her hands, she rolled the orb back and forth" (15).

Satya and Zenyatta discuss how the priests feed the villagers; Satya focuses on logical practicalities (that food is the most important nourishment) and Zenyatta rolls with her perspective to get his point across (feeding the body opens the mind to change). She then talks about how she stims by dancing, which she incorporated into her light-bending (making her work differently from typical architechs). She expresses shame that her movements are imperfect, but Zenyatta reassures her that these imperfections should be embraced and appreciated:

The orb was smooth in her hands, and she looked down at it. “For hard-light architechs...We gather what we sense and bring it into being. Most of us use very precise movements. Exact. I can appreciate that. But at the same time...I’ve always found it hard to sit still.” The orb rolled from hand to the other. “But when I create...I use Kathak dance movements. As a child, when I felt agitated, dancing calmed me. I find the meditations with this,” she indicated the orb, “calm me, too.” Satya avoided his gaze; she did not often discuss how personal the craft was to her. “Well,” she amended, “I use what I remember of the dance motions. My movements are far from perfect.” “And yet, you dance to weave light,” Zenyatta said. “You bend reality, Satya, to produce art that has purpose. Perfect art is sterile. True art is like any kind of true thing...flawed, and glorious because of those flaws. Just as we are.”

[...] "Your passion for what you do elevates architecture beyond simple construction. Without blemishes, a house is just a building. Flaws and joys are what make it a home. Your dancing may be imperfect, but imagination, creativity—these things are not unharmonious with faith. They are expressions of it. As a matter of fact, there is a story that the universe itself...was danced into being.”

“How beautiful, Satya,” Zenyatta said, very softly, almost reverently. “How fitting, that you chose to come here, to help heal a holy place. You already touch the sacred.”

Satya had never felt so understood. So vulnerable, and yet so strong. She wanted to shout, laugh, dance, cry, sing, but did none of those things. Instead, she blinked back the tears, nodded her thanks at Zenyatta, and turned her eyes to the pieces of the broken statue, the Orb of Perception flowing between her hands. Now, she understood why Zenyatta had selected this particular orb. Perception did mean understanding...but it was understanding through the senses. The smoothness of the orb. The smell of incense. The taste of food mindfully prepared. The sound of soft voices, and the sight of something beautiful. (16-17)

On the day that the final project is being unveiled, she wears the temple robe to express the new understanding she has come to thanks to her experiences at the temple. Despite her difficulty parsing subtle emotional shifts, she is able to grasp that this means a lot to Zenyatta:

"This,” and she indicated the robe, “is the woman who learned about Aurora. So this is who I wish to be when I present my work to the world. Perhaps I will be her more often going forward, too. You have taught me that much in the world is sacred, even if it first seems ordinary. And there is always more to learn, especially from good teachers.” Satya did not think she would ever learn to read the subtle changes that conveyed omnic emotions. But she felt—there was no other word for it—that Zenyatta was deeply moved." (18)

Satya's journey of discovery culminates in the kintsugi-inspired repairs she does to the statue, which respect the perspective of the temple and the village while incorporating her unique style and talents--aside from the repairs to the statue itself, she also uses hard light constructs (created in a way inspired by her stimming meditative techniques) to depict Aurora as the inspiring, unifying, uplifting teacher Satya has come to see her as:

"the statue had not been replaced. It had been transformed.

Sunlight bathed it in liquid gold. The enormous fragments that had toppled due to Vishkar’s negligence were united by rivulets of aureate light. A necklace of seeming gold marked the joining of bowed head and throat. Hard-light also graced the once-fractured folds of clothing, bound articulated fingers again to hands that pressed together in devotion.

Satya had been moved by the Iris’s concept of unity. But Aurora’s story of transcendence touched her even more deeply. Satya’s work here was not yet done. She lifted her arms, settled herself, and began to weave.

She reached into empty air, fingertips sensing, grasping, pulling.

Shifting the orb back and forth, back and forth.

Shifting perception.

Stretching the thin strand of golden-hued light between her fingers, gathering radiant threads into a ball, Satya thought of the wonder Aurora must have known; of her confusion and discomfort, and the great love that enabled the first omnic to surrender her unique, precious life for others. Now Satya too, surrendered, to her art, her passion—to the dance of creation." (19-20)

Finally, she sums up the lesson of the story--a very autistic takeaway, in my opinion--to Sanjay:

“I will miss being with people who think almost the same way I do,” Satya admitted. “But I have learned that we do not need to understand how someone thinks in order to respect them.” Or even, she thought, be their friend.

[...] “This should be how we interact. With respect. As welcomed friends. Trying to understand...and be understood." (23)

In conclusion, Symmetra/Satya Vaswani is super autistic, a suprisingly well-written example of an autistic character, and just really awesome as a character. She deserves so much better than Blizzard, and I love her <3.

HELL YEAH SYMMETRA PROPAGANDA!!

[silverhallow]

This means War

Benedict Bridgerton x Sophie Beckett

Mafia AU

Rated: T. Kidnapping

Word count: 910

Summary: what’s the worst pain a person can go through…?

Author's Note: this is set in the Mafia Au but it’s a one we’re they never went legitimate…

Enjoy

“Lady Penwood…” came the voice of her trusted advisor… John Footman had been by her side through thick and thin and remained loyal even after she’d joined the Penwood Crime family with that of the Bridgerton Crime family when she married Benedict and her second in command, Kate Sharma married Anthony.

Together they’d become the most feared crime family in the country and no one fucked with them…

Or she thought.

She looked up from her note book, her pen perched between her teeth as she figured out her next moves.

She and Anthony ran different parts of the business. She handled the illegal goods and he dealt with everything else. She had the connections.

“Yes John what is it?” She asked, glancing at her husband who was sketching again.

Sophie loved that he’d sometimes just sit and draw her whilst she was working and now she was pregnant again with their second child, he was obsessed and couldn’t stop drawing her.

“I… erm… there has been… there has been an incident” John said, the hesitation was noticeable and Benedict didn’t like the nerves coming from their head of security and he put his pencil down and got up from his slouched position.

“What kind of incident?” Benedict asked.

There were a million possibilities going through through his mind at that very moment but what came out of his mouth had not even made the top 1000 things he thought it could have possibly been.

“Ms Metcalf and the security team… they… they were attacked on their way back with Master Charlie…”

Sophie’s face drained of all colour as she felt terror like she’d never felt before.

Benedict stood up “are… are they okay?!” He demanded

“I…I…” John stammered

“Out with man!!!” Benedict yelled

“Ben! Stop! Just give him a chance!” Sophie managed to get out. She needed her husband to keep his cool, to keep calm… at least for now.

Revenge would come later.

“Jameson and King took a bullet each, Emily has a broken nose and concussion” John managed to explain and Sophie was getting irate at the thought of someone touching the security team around her 18 month old son and his nanny.

Emily was practically family. She would be family eventually as she was engaged to Edwina but that was besides the point.

Sophie had made it clear in the last that her family was out of bounds… and to attack the men around her son… this was unforgivable and was tantamount to declaring war…

But she noticed he hadn’t said anything about Charlie “what about Charlie? Is he safe?” Sophie asked

“I… they took… they took…” John stammered trying to fight back the tears he felt and the news he didn’t want to pass on.

“Took who?”

“Ma…master Charlie…”

Sophie let out a scream of pain and fury like she’d known she could manage, it was a sound that put the fear of god in anyone who heard it and Benedict’s noise was something akin to that of a wounded animal.

“Who where they John? Who the fuck has my son?!??” Sophie screamed.

“Please calm down Lady Penwood!”

“Don’t Fucking tell me to calm down!! Someone has my baby!!!! I will fucking not calm down!!!”

“Sophie I get your furious and worried and I am too but please… just please try and calm a bit for the baby… we will find out” Benedict said turning on John

“What is being done?”

“I’m scanning all the CCTV in the area. They weren’t too far from the house when it happened sir. I’ve sent for Eloise, Mr Anthony and Edwina to help… we have some evidence as Emily fought back”

“I want everything on my desk in an hour. Everyone is to be called in. No Fucking excuses. This a fucking code red. Anyone who doesn’t show, and doesn’t have a fucking good excuse is fired and assumed to be part of it and will be dealt accordingly!!! Whoever has taken my boy is going to Fucking pay for it…the gloves are off. They’ve picked a fight with the wrong Fucking family and anyone who gets in my way… will pay the fucking price” Sophie declared.

“Right away with Lady Penwood” John said and ran out of the room and the moment he was gone Sophie’s strength left her and Benedict saw as he rushed to his pregnant wives side and caught her just in time and held her as she sobbed.

“My baby!! They’ve got our baby Ben” she cried

“We’ll get him back. They’re stupid to think they will get away with this. We will get him back. I swear on my life. Come hell or high water and if they’ve hurt a single hair on his head i will personally make sure they pay for it with blood a hundred times worse than they have done to him” Benedict vowed as tears fell down his own face.

He wanted to go pound the pavement, bang on the doors of all their known associates and enemies and demand they tell what they know.

They needed Anthony here. He’d keep a calmer head than them right now and help them through this.

It was the longest hour of their lives as they waited for news and their family. And finally Anthony burst in, a face like thunder, looking scarier than Sophie had ever remembered seeing him as he barged In “we’ve got a lead on Charlie!”

[secludedsunflower]

How the marauders era would run a nonprofit

Because I am bored and tired of running my own nonprofit

James: THE GLUE. The public image of the nonprofit and does all of the face-to-face talking. Has insane connections and an odd obsession with the process of getting 501(c)(3) certified (his dad works in business so he knows how the business end works). Has a lot of parent support. Secretly changed the Instagram password because he was tired of Remus' dry captioning.

Sirius: Chaotic but gets shit done. Does half of his work through his phone to the amazement of James and the disgust of Remus. Sends emails at 2am, hacks into his mom's zoom account for unlimited zoom time, and admins the nonprofit's discord server. Secretly the reason that productivity is steady. Always active in the group chats and never shuts up. Trying to convince the group to make a tiktok (its not working).

Remus: The mother hen. Keeps the website running, manages the social media, makes the spreadsheets, watches the email, you name something and he probably does it. Is late to every board meeting but secretly loves the thrill of being in charge of something. Keeps his camera off on meetings and always calls off of his phone, despite preferring his 4 year old broken laptop for every other task. A firm believer in podcasts and youtube channels to spread their cause.

Peter: Forced to help start the nonprofit but ended up falling in love with it. Always eager to suggest new ideas for outreach events and fundraising. His biggest secret is that he gets most of those ideas from scouring subreddits about founding nonprofits. Helps Remus with the website and is actually really good at graphic design. Shows off whatever random animal or bug that is near him while on virtual planning meetings.

Lily: Was passionate about a social injustice and dragged her friends along with her. Somehow does everything all at one and refuses to accept help until she is drowning in word. Actually a really successful leader and everyone loves her. Puts a lot of emphasis on volunteer work as a way to fight this social injustice.

Marlene: Lily dragged her into this but she's lowkey glad because she likes the cause and likes having something to do. Pretty lowkey, but will happily give a detailed explanation of the issue they're fighting and their solution when asked. Has the logo as a sticker on her MacBook and infographic flyers in her bag ready to be handed out on a moments notice.

Mary: The designated PR manager of the group. Will handle social media, the coding the website, and making spreadsheets but dies when faced with face-to-face connection and usually makes Dorcas come with her. Believes in the power of tiktok and instagram as a way to attract a younger audience and is right. Likes making everything fit a theme, and is often seen at a library printer fiddling with the colors and sizing of the newest infographic flyer the group came up with.

Dorcas: A casual supporter of the nonprofit but designed all of the graphics bc why not. Likes listening to Lily, Marlene, and Mary plan in the library and uses them as a background noise of sorts to study to.

Regulus: The nepo-baby. Has connections and experience and fucking abuses that shit (as he should tbh). Already on his second nonprofit but he doesn't care that he has to do twice the work because (1) he likes one-upping Sirius and (2) he likes seeing his friends excited about planning and leading such an initiative. His family wasn't too happy about him being involved in such an activity and tried kicking him out of the nonprofit (which he literally founded lmao) but Regulus said "fuck you" and ended up just doing it behind their backs.

Barty: In it because he likes seeing Reggie and Evan happy but also because his dad said it would be good experience for a future ministry job. Not too enthusiastic about their cause but into all of the logistics. Tries to see a deeper meaning to all of their moves, even if there is none. Insists on using Slack as their primary method of communication and organization because he used it once during a ministry internship and fell in love.

Evan: Also in it to see his friends happy but also because the cause is oddly really deeply personal to him. Literally carries the group chats in all outreach related discussion. If anyone so much as compares his nonprofit to someone else's or to another school organization, he gets super defensive and basically quotes the whole website in their face. Made the website, and is trying to convince Regulus and Barty to agree to starting a podcast and a youtube channel.

[moon-ursidae]

THE LAST OF US HBO SPOILERS

i’m just gonna do one long post bc it’s easier

TESS!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH ALREADY

ELLIE!!!!! BELLA IS AMAZING ALREADY

oooohhhhhhhhh i’m interested in this tommy situation

i’m fucking obsessed that the original game score is being used in here i’m so emotional

omg joel’s place is kinda slay i love that blanket

ohhhhhhhhhh no joel. sarah’s screams😭

JOEL IS THE LITTLE SPOON THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE AND I’M NOT ELABORATING LMAOOO

the way he SPRUNG into action when he saw her face🥺

goooodddddddd someone hug this man please

i love him. i love her. i love them together.

“robert is terrified of you” AS HE FUCKIN SHOULD BE LMAO

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so the battery is the cargo in this case gotcha gotcha

MARLENE!!!!! MERLE DANDRIDGE!!!! QUEEN FIREFLY!!!! LET’S GOOOOOOO

“you tell me to look for the light and i’ll break your jaw” FUCKIN SLAYYYYYY JOEL

he looks so goddamn fucking good. holy fuck.

I LOVE ELLIE. I LOVE BELLA AS ELLIE.

she’s so fierce.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO the way she instantly jumped to marlene being her mom

RILEY MENTION RILEY MENTION AHH AHH AHH AHH AHH

TESS AND JOEL FUCKIN SLAY WOO WOO WOOO WOOOOOOOOOO

his wet hair?👀

FUCK the fungal practical effects look so goddamn good.

i mean, these effects are BANANAS

“this has been construction corner with joel miller” HAHAHAHA I LOVE HER

oh shit that’s robert!

FIRST JOEL AND ELLIE INTERACTION AHHHH

I LOVE THAT ELLIE’S FIRST IMPRESSION OF JOEL IS THAT HE REDIRECTED/THREW HER INTO THE FUCKING WALL💀💀💀

FERAL ELLIE SLAY

PLEEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEEEEE OH MY FUCKIN GOD THE WAT HE RAISED HIS EYEBROWS AT HER LIKE “don’t fuckin move” LMAOO

i also love that tess is wearing the same color shirt in the game. wardrobe slay

PEDRO IS SO ATTRACTIVE OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD IT’S FRIM THE GAME AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“what’re you doing?” “killing time” “well what am i supposed to do” “i’m sure you’ll figure that out.” “your watch is broken.” “you mumble in your sleep.” JAVSKWHSKSBSKSBSKSBSKS KSBSKSBSKSB

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ALREADY.

“you some kind of big wig’s daughter or something?” “something like that.” KABSKABSKSVSKSBSKSBKSBSID

i’m gonna freak out everytime something STRAIGHT from the game is in this

and idgaf if that’s annoying bc i’m excited as fuck

WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO JABSKSBSKSB

omg she punked him to fund out what the code is I LOVE HER

THE SHIT EATING GRIN HAHAHAHA

THE STANCE™️

OMG THE STEALTH SECTION AHHHHHH

the closeup on the watch🥺

“holy shit i’m actually outside!” KAHSKSHSJSVSHHEHEHDHXH LIKE THE GAME AHH AHH AHH AHH

THE TUNNEL!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO BADASS

THIS IS FROM THE PROMO WHERE JOEL PUNCHES THE FUCK OUTTA THE GUY

OHHHH SHIT IT’S THE SCANNER SCENE OHHHHHH

joel is so pissed they got caught

THE FLASHBACK??? FUCKIN AYE.

WITH ELLIE BEHIND HIM OH MY GOD

oh my fuckin god. that’s why he’s so brutal with it. goddamn.

ellie is standing in an odd way watching joel pummel this guy. it’s not fear or danger, but like she wants to watch? idk it’s odd

this is fuckin crazy dude. tess finding she’s “infected,” ellie saying “it’s 3 weeks!” and joel reeling back from beating the fuck out of the guy oh my god

is this what they were talking about with his hearing? or is this just him coming out of it? probably coming out of it

THE RADIO IT’S AN 80s SONG OH MY GOD IT’S FUCKIN DEPECHE MODE AHHHH

OH MY FUCKING GOD

THE CITY LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD MIXED WITH THE CLICKER SOUNDS

CREDITS???? MORE PLEASE. PLEASE.

THAT WAS AMAZING.

holy fucking shit. i-

i need to rewatch and process. this was phenomenal. i’m obsessed. fucking obsessed.

i’m so happy i’m crying. oh my god.

this game means so goddamn fucking much to me even though i’m newer to it. and i’m so happy that other people that love the game got to work on and create this. i’m so proud for them.

IN THE WEEKS AHEAD???

AHAHSHSKSBSKSBSKBSKSBS

THE HOSPITAL AT THE END YOU’RE FUCKING JOKING

OMG BTS???

INSIDE THE EPISODE??????? WHAT????

this is fucking epic

“my sarah”🥺

“i could not ask for a better on screen dad”😭

MERLE DANDRIDGE WOOOOOO

i fucking love her

NEIL SAYING JOEL COULDN’T SURVIVE LOSING ANOTHER DAUGHTER😭

“joel forgets that the girl that is standing behind him is not his daughter.” “primitive instinct takes over. he can’t help but act. something else took control of him in a similar way to how the cordyceps does. except for him it’s a version of love.”😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh my god i thought the way ellie was standing there was weird dude it’s bc she liked that she was being defended

“these two were meant to be together, but look out.” SO FUCKING ACCURATE

holy shit. that was fucking awesome. oh my god

i need to process lmao

this is gorgeous. i’m so fuckin happy.

[sheep33hallow]

Showtime (Wincest)

Tags: Outsider’s POV, ABO, Implied Mpreg, Football Player!Sam, Actor!Dean, discrimination

Word count: 1300

Rating: G

_____________

Hellhound’s Quarterback, Sam Winchester, was caught away from his fans and team who were celebrating their Superbowl win. The 10- year veteran was photographed kissing a person with a similar outline to his brother, and retired actor, Dean Winchester in a dark hallway with minimum light. 

Dean had started living with Sam after a knee surgery three years ago, and Sam said he was helping with his brother’s rehabilitation. Also, there has been a rumor going around that Dean, who we all know as the Omega who has broken many Hollywood traditions of being the face of multiple action movies, was pregnant. 

So we all have to ask ourselves. 

Have the Winchesters gone…..the old way? 

___________

Ellen: Hello, and welcome to the Roadhouse! (Ellen claps along with her co-stars at a dinner table on a set that looks like a restaurant. The studio audience is clapping along to their prompts from the showrunner next to the multiple cameramen.) 

Jo: (Next to Ellen) We have an amazing show planned for the show today. We will be talking about Ash, who is starring in a new movie about a recovering alcoholic. Bobby and Karen Singer are coming on to cook a meal for all to promote their new baking book. 

Ruby: And we all know how close the Singers are to the Winchesters. (She winks at the audience.) 

(The crowd oohs.) 

Meg: Now, now. (She pats Ruby’s wrist lightly.) The newspapers must be desperate to cook up this story. They’ve been obsessed with dear Sammy when he used to be a wreck in his early NFL days. (Meg lets her hand linger for a moment before removing it.) 

(Ruby smiles at her. Meg is the only one at the table who knows how deep Sam was into drugs with Ruby, but that’s because she’s married to Dean’s manager, Castiel. Everyone chalks it up to being young and dumb. Though Dean still side eyes her when she says hi to Sam at red carpet events.) 

Ellen: We did plan on talking about that later, but I guess we can do that now. Do we think Sam and Dean are together? 

Meg: I don’t. Sammy could do better than Dean. (Meg leans back in his chair. Her signature smirk on her face.) 

Jo: I truly don’t know. But his favorite topic is Sam. He barely likes to talk about himself. 

Ruby: Sam’s favorite topic is Dean. I’ll say it. I don’t think they’re together. 

(The crowd claps.) 

Ellen: I think they might be together. 

Jo: Mom! 

(The crowd laughs.) 

Ellen: (She waves her daughter off.) The Old Way is simply outdated, but not uncommon. All of you around aren’t as old as I am, so you didn’t go to siblings, and cousins mating ceremonies. The only reason it became outdated was because of President Dick in the eighties. I think he used it as a distraction from the Nutrition Gate allegations. 

Jo: (Turns to Meg) Would Dean lose his endorsement deals if he’s with Sam? 

Meg: (She scratches her chin with disinterest.) Castiel wouldn’t let that happen. They also have overseas deals with countries who never let go of the Old Way, and I doubt right now is the time for companies to show how discriminatory they are. (She chuckles in a low tone.) 

Ruby: (Claps, and shows her palms to the audience.) Well let’s ask. How many of you think that was Dean in the photograph? 

(Less than half of the audience raise their hands.) 

Ellen: (Flicks her hair out of her face.) Well let’s stop discussing the Winchesters, and talk about how the Hellhound’s won their five Super Bowl Title! 

____________

Benny walks into the Winchester’s home. Sam, and Dean are in their own little world while Dean cooks, and Sam is behind him at the stove. He doesn’t greet them, they know he’s there by his smell, and his access code to their home. 

He’s there for Castiel. 

Benny runs Dean’s public relations, and he needs to get their story straight since the lovebirds are in their little hormonal embrace. 

Also known as useless. 

If they had waited like Benny told them for Sam’s seasons to be over before mating, they wouldn’t have been craving each other to an impossible point, and makeout in a busy stadium. They should know by now, there is no such thing as an empty hallway when it comes to the celebrity status that the both of them carry. 

Thankfully most people don’t believe that it was Dean in the hallway with Sam. He can’t say the same thing will be true six months from now when a baby is living in their home. They’ll have to get their story straight. 

“Castiel.” His southern drawl tingles with annunciation of the Manager’s name. Castiel is outside on the backyard’s porch at a table. A pitcher of lemonade sits in the middle of the table, along with four glasses. Only two are filled up. “Is this one here, mines?” He sits down across from him. 

Castiel isn’t looking at him. He’s looking out into the sunlight, as if pondering life’s mysteries. “It can be.” 

Benny rolls his eyes. Picking up the glass, he takes a sip. “You can’t even pretend to make me feel special.” He chuckles. 

Castiel looks back at him, then down at his glass. “That one has bourbon in it.” 

Benny smirks. “Finally growing on you. Only took ten years.” 

Castiel smiles. “I am skeptical of most people. You know this. You were a man without a name for himself, but was able to help me build up Dean, along with all of the quirks he comes with.” 

“You mean his brother obsession.” 

Castiel nodded. “Even when Sam was in college, Dean would fly out from shooting his movies to see Sam play. Our old PR guy used to tell Dean to focus on his own job and to let Sam do his.” 

“Then he got depressed.” Benny said. 

“Then he got depressed.” 

“But then we wouldn’t have met at therapy.” Benny smiles wide. He salutes his glass toward Castiel. 

“Yes. True.” He clears his throat. “Let’s begin.” 

__________

Dean Winchester has had his baby! The rumors were true. Congratulations to the Action star! But wait? Who is the other parent you may ask? 

Dean said he used a donor! He hasn’t been able to meet anyone who wants to start a family with him, so he decided to start his own. That's beautiful people! We support going after what you want in life. 

Now you people online can stop harassing the Winchesters for staying silent for so long. If you’ve been pregnant before, you get how much the urge to nest, and disappear is. Let’s give a salute to Sam for supporting his brother. If he was as good at supporting his brother as he was at playing the game, maybe I would be $500 dollars richer. 

I kid. I kid people. :) 

Now, we finally have an answer for the mystery man who was kissing Sam during the Superbowl victory. 

It was Michael! Dean’s known stunt double. We’ve been seeing them out, and about it seems the two are very much in love! I guess if you can’t get the original, then get a copy! 

Now let’s continue to support the Winchesters! They are a legacy family in entertainment. Let’s hope the next generation is as amazing as the current. 

__________

Dean knows he shouldn’t allow his son to sleep in the bed with him, and Sam. They’re both so big, and could easily crush their child. He chooses to ask Sam to buy a bigger bed for all of them to sleep in, making it more comfortable for all involved. 

Donald sleeps in between them. He’s able to kiss his sleeping child, or feed him without much fuss. He’s never loved his life as much as he has at this moment.  

It’s nighttime, and both of his loves are sleeping next to him in the bed. 

He whispers, not expecting a response. “I’ll always love you most, Sammy.”

AO3