#i am obviously asleep yep

[damascus-crowned-king]

Foolish love, but damn if it isn't true

Fool!Guy and Fool!Honey

It's really fucking bad yall

They were bored.

They were the only one awake at 6:30 AM, and they hated it. Years of waking up early out of fear that they would be late for some sort of event or that if they didn't wake up early enough, they wouldn't be as productive was biting them in the ass.

So they decided to bother their adorable, grumpy, currently asleep boyfriend.

"Guy."

"Baby."

"Darling."

"Sugar."

"Flour. Egg. Butter. Vanilla extract. Baking soda. "Salt. If you don't answer me, the pet names are just gonna get weirder, Guy."

"Nothing? Alright."

...

Radio silence.

"My oatmeal cream pie. My tomato soup."

"My honey-"

It only took a second for Guy to grab the back of their head and shove their face into a pillow and lay on top of them. Rendering them immobile.

"Oomph!"

"First of all. I call you honey, not the other way around. Second of all, It's too early and you should go back to bed. Third of all, why were almost all of those "pet names" food related?"

"I'm bored... and I can't go back to sleep, and also, I'm hungry, and who said that you trademarked the nickname 'honey'?!"

He replied dryly. "I did."

They squirmed for a minute before giving up under him. "Can you get off of me now?"

He questioned them slightly, still mildly crushing them under his weight. "Are you gonna chill out?"

"Maybe..."

"..."

"....Okay I'll calm down... lame-ass..."

"Did you say something?"

"Nothing, sweetheart~"

"That's what I thought." He got off top of them and laid on his side while Honey wrapped their arms around him so he could nuzzle his face in their chest.

They eventually started scratching his scalp, and they made a small smile at him leaning into their touch. "Your roots are kinda showing. Do you want me to touch 'em up for you?"

Guy scrunched his face in confusion and slight judgment at their behavior, still mumbling into their neck. "Honey. Did you just sniff my hair?"

Guy buried his face in the crook of their neck and wrapped his arms around them even tighter, mumbling a tired response. "Yeah... Tomorrow."

Honey slightly shivers at Guy's warm breath on their neck, smirking at his clinginess. "Okay." Letting out a soft confirmation before burying their face in his hair, taking a deep whiff of his natural scent mixed with his coconut and mango shampoo.

Honey smirked at Guy's convicting tone. "What? You smell good."

Guy scoffed at honey, finding their fascination for his smell odd. "You're such a weirdo..."

"What? You want me to say you smell bad? 'Cus I could."

"I mean, you could, but then you'd just look like a liar..."

"Do you want me to appreciate your smell or say you smell gross?"

"You could just... not smell me. That's an option." He says, throwing out the proposition, knowing full well it won't be taken into consideration.

Honey, fake-considers his suggestion, very obviously not actually thinking about not smelling him. "Mmmmm nah I'll pass."

Guy rolls his eyes and holds Honey tighter, wrapping his legs around them like a koala. Squeezing them tightly while they play with his hair.

This was the life to Guy. Silence and cuddles, Honey's fingers tangling into his hair and Guy secretly taking in their scent. (Hypocrite) Who wouldn't love this serene, still moment...

"Has anyone told you you're absolutely perfect?"

Guy was stunned to say the least. For Honey to say something so out of the blue and something so sappy had his heart skipping a beat.

"Um... no? What's up with you?" Guy was confused. Confused but not that surprised. His Honey was always one to speak their mind, but sometimes they said things that had him flustered. And he wasn't exactly the best at preparing for their unaware sweet words.

"Just sayin'. You're adorable, you're sweet, you smell amazing all the time, and you feed me. That seems like perfect boy behavior to me."

Whoooo boy. Yep. This is how he dies. Four years of being together, and he still turned into a bashful mess whenever Honey was all mushy with him... which was most of the time.

"God you are so..."

"Sooo...? What?"

Guy lets out a soft, resigned sigh and leans into them. "Charming."

Honey snorts at Guy somewhat dropping the tough-guy act and admitting he finds them charming, their ego rising at his simple word of affirmation.

"And that's all the sappy shit you're getting out of me today. No more."

"Ahhh I knew it... you're no fun..."

"Not my problem."

"But you know what is your problem?"

Guy groaned, clearly not excited for whatever was about to come out of his Honey's mouth. "What?"

Honey spoke up with a smirk in their voice. "Breakfast~"

"Ughhhh...."

"Soooo. What should we have for breakfast? We could have waffles, hashbrowns, Omelettes, grits? Ooh! We could have French toast and sausage?"

Guy rolled his eyes as they rambled about various breakfast foods, but deep down he knew he'd make a four course breakfast meal for his Honey. Because they deserved it. They deserved the world after dealing with his sass and sarcasm and monotone, lackluster personality, and his absence of... everything for years and even deciding to date him after putting up with all of it.

So he'll gladly make them breakfast.

And gladly give them the whole world if they asked.

Anything for his Honey.

[effwon]

'cause i don't think that they'd understand || ln4 x reader (Part 2/2)

Summary: Lando just wants to walk down to the garage before the Miami race with you by his side. George and Carmen walked in together, Alex and Lily walked in together, so why can't you, as well? Despite your self-consciousness, you agree to walk hand-in-hand with him down to the garage right before the big race, but it's a much harder ask for you than anyone could ever realize.

PART ONE HERE

Plus-size (she/her) Reader x Lando Norris

Warnings: Brief mentions of nausea/being sick, panic, reader is plus-sized and very down on herself about it, weight mentions, ect.

Characters: Lando Norris (your boyfriend) and feat Oscar Piastri as a last minute saving grace for you.

Rating: G.

Tags: @cthgee @hellof-1 @notpeachybby

Notes: Thank you for the feedback on part 1! Feedback is what keeps a writer writing, after all! I started this as an experiment and genuinely did not expect the love that would come with it. I put together a part 2 on the fly (I hadn't planned to write it, actually, I didn't think the response would be this high) and am happy to put this to rest now, to work on some other reader fics. I'm happy to entertain requests, just know that smut is not something I will write in detail (I know, that's what most of you want, I'm sorry). Thank you for the support!

Your eyes flutter open and all you can see above you is a blur of light orange and a bright light. A soft groan escapes the back of your throat, and you turn your head to the side to try and keep the light out of your eyes. Your head is swimming, like there’s a pressure pushing against your brain that you can feel as far as the back of your eyes as well. You are laying on something warm and soft, but most definitely alive - if the gentle shuffling beneath you is anything to go by, anyway.

You furrow your brows as you hum out another soft, confused sound. Very slowly, you try to sit up, but someone’s hand presses against your shoulder and applies a little force, enough to keep you from moving in your hazy state.

“Lando?” you ask, your voice soft and unnaturally raspy. Something isn’t quite right. You don’t remember falling asleep - you don’t even really know where you are, but it only makes sense that Lando would be the one with you…right? As you continue to blink your vision back to clarity, a face comes into view above you - one that is very much not Lando. It’s Oscar Piastri, that much your brain can at least piece together. Around him, the walls start to come into view. The ceiling, the toilet, the vanity to your left…

“Not quite, but I promise he’s coming.” Oscar says above you, and you are grateful that he’s barely speaking louder than a whisper. Your head is pounding and your stomach is churning as everything starts to put itself together. You’re only missing a handful of key puzzle pieces, now.

“Oscar?” You mumble, instinctively curling into his warmth for any ounce of comfort you can glean. One of his hands comes up and carefully, thoughtfully brushes stray hair out of your face. You realize he’s attempting to be soothing, as your brain keeps working to figure this out.

“Yep, that one.” he replies, flashing you a smile that seems, in your opinion, quite tense. Right, it’s slowly coming back.

The bathroom - Lando led you to the bathroom at your request, and then left to get himself into his race kit. You were sick, and immediately after vomiting into the sink, a panic attack had taken hold of you. And then –

Your eyes widen slightly in horror. Oscar, right. You had forgotten to lock the door and he - oh, god, he –

“How long was I out?” you ask suddenly, shooting yourself upright in his arms. He blinks back shock, obviously not expecting you to move so quickly, and looks down at his watch for a brief moment.

“Uh, three minutes? It’s not been long.” 

“Jesus,” you gasp, scrambling out of his comforting grip and backing yourself up against the wall. Oscar looks a bit lost, eyes full of concern as he holds his hands out in front of him, fingers splayed. “I’m sorry - oh my god, that’s - I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s fine. It’s okay.” he assures you, eerily still as he watches you with a careful gaze. “I’m sorry for touching you without permission. I didn’t want you to hit your head when you fell.”

“That’s not -” you shake your head, feeling your throat tightening with emotion. “No, thank you. That’s not the problem, I promise. I appreciate you.” Anxiety is beginning to swirl in your chest again, but you can feel just how fatigued your body is now. The anxiety, at least, is easier to manage versus pure panic, but it’s making your head spin. 

“It’s okay.” Oscar says again, a bit firmer this time. “I phoned Lando a moment ago, and he’s making his way back right now. I told him I’d stay with you until he got here.”

You nod, relieved to know that Lando would be back for you any moment. You are also grateful for Oscar’s company, regardless of the fact that you hardly know him. Clearly, he’s kind and caring - which doesn’t surprise you, really. Lando hasn’t ever had an off-color thing to say about him.

“Thanks, Oscar. I’m so sorry you had to witness all of-” you swirl your finger around in a circle, searching for the right word, “that. But it means a lot that you didn’t just leave me there.”

“Of course. I don’t know what’s got you so upset, but I hope that you feel better soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it’s a little better already.”

Oscar smiles at you, friendly and kind, and before either of you can utter another word, there’s a frantic knocking at the bathroom door. Oscar’s head snaps back to the door, letting out a small “Oh” as he hops up to his feet and hurries over to unlock the door. Lando’s face comes into view as soon as the door opens, and he looks absolutely distraught. Your chest clenches, knowing that you’re the reason he’s out of sorts, and you lay your head back against the wall.

“When did she wake up? Is she okay? What happened?” you hear Lando ask frantically, firing questions at Oscar before they can be answered. 

Oscar takes it in stride, “She just woke up a moment ago, and she was a bit dazed. She seems okay now, but I don’t know what caused all of this.”

“Thanks, Osc.” Lando breathes, and you can hear the genuine warmth in his tone. “I’ll take it from here, mate.”

There’s a soft ‘click’ as the bathroom door closes, and a slightly louder one as Lando locks the door behind him. His footfalls are quick as he rushes over to you, immediately sliding down the wall to sit next to you on the floor. You look over at him, and your gazes meet for merely a second before he’s wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest.

His scent and the warmth of his body is familiar and comforting in ways you couldn’t possibly verbalize. It’s akin to taking a deep, calming breath of air into your lungs and feeling everything inside of you just slow down for a moment. It’s the relief of the familiarity, the delicacy in which he cradles your head against his heart like you’re his most precious thing.

It makes a lump form in your throat. But you are far too tired for tears, now. Too tired for much of anything but this: sitting here on a dirty bathroom floor, cradled in Lando’s arms.

“I thought you were alright when I left,” he says, so very miserably, “why didn’t you tell me you weren’t? I would’ve stayed.”

“I’m sorry.” you murmur, your voice muffled by the fireproof suit over his chest. You can hear his heart beating rapidly, a gentle barrage of distressed thumps against your ear, and it twists something so deeply in your own chest. You properly worried him, which was the exact opposite of what you wanted to do. “I thought I could work through it while you were changing and that things would be okay by the time you got back.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he urges ever so softly, his hand running up and down your back in the most soothing patterns. You can’t help feeling the warmth of relief encompassing you being back in his presence.

It helps the words flow much easier, without stopping to doubt or scrutinize everything that comes out of your mouth. “It was a panic attack, it didn’t really pop up until after I had initially calmed down. It happens like that sometimes.” You explain, focusing on the ever-present beating of his heart beneath your ear. “Or - it happens like that a lot for me, I guess. Once the initial fight or flight wears off, the real panic comes out. It made me sick and, I dunno, I guess Oscar startled me when he came in and before I even really knew it, I went down.”

Lando’s grip tightens on you almost protectively as he registers your explanation. “Just went down? You say it like it’s the most casual thing.” He scoffs, but there’s no mirth or amusement behind it. You can tell he’s still nervous, still trying to process everything. “Oscar said pretty much the same. Blessing and a curse you forgot to lock the door then, huh?”

You laugh breathily at that, nodding your head in agreement. Had Oscar not been there, you surely would’ve hit your head on the tile and that could’ve been a much scarier sight to behold when someone came by to use the restroom later. As embarrassing as it was to break down in front of someone you hardly knew, you were grateful for his willingness to assist. You would have to find him and give him a proper thank you later.

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy.” You agree, nuzzling into his chest even further. If it were up to you, you would simply lay here in his arms all day long and not think a single thing of it - but you are distinctly aware of the time and of his looming race. Something he should be putting his entire focus into, and not on you. “Now shouldn’t you be out there getting ready for the race?” “Probably,” he admits with a chuckle, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “But I don’t want to leave here until I know for sure you’re alright.”

His thoughtfulness never ceases to amaze you. Perhaps you’d found him to be a bit taught and agitated earlier (and, perhaps, you had deserved that sort of response from him, given your nearly blatant refusal to simply walk across the paddock into the garage with him), but he’s back to his normal warmth and gentleness once more. A relief, you think, in and of itself.

“I’m alright now, really.” you say, lifting your head up from his chest to flash him a soft, sweet little smile. It isn’t a lie, either. Since he’s come back, you’ve felt exponentially better - a result of the panic attack waning and being in the comforting presence of the person you love most in the world. “I’d really like to go see everything else you wanted to show me.”

Lando’s eyes light up in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. He’s always been a bit reactive, with his heart on his sleeve, and you wouldn’t have him any other way if you’re honest. The genuine excitement that sparks on his face is everything you could ever want or need in life. Just to see him happy, it’s enough. It makes every horrible name you call yourself, every fear, every insecurity and every worry melt away into nothing, like it had never even been there to begin with.

“Let’s get some lunch at hospitality first, and then I’ll take you out to see the car afterwards.” He suggests, lifting himself up from the floor and offering you a helpful hand. “I know a little spot we can eat, away from the cameras and all that.”

Even after the hell you’ve put him through today, a soft feeling blossoms in your chest to know he’s still holding you to the forefront of his mind. He’s still looking for ways to make you more comfortable. He’s still loving you, despite your glaring insecurities. You take his hand, skin warm against yours, and lift yourself up onto your feet with his help.

“I think that sounds lovely.” you reply, reaching up and cupping his cheeks in your hands. You stand on the tips of your toes and lean in, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to Lando’s lips. His breath falters for a mere moment, and then he’s kissing you back just as softly, just as gently. As you pull apart, there’s a shy smile on his face that makes your cheeks burn and your chest ignite with adoration. Even if you tried, you do not think you could possibly love him more.

“I think you’re lovely.” He shoots back, a glint of mischief in his eyes. Your cheeks burn even hotter at his remark, and you bury your face into his shoulder to keep the blush from being too obvious. 

“I think you’re going to make me too sick to eat if you keep this up.”

Lando tosses his head back and laughs, genuine and sweet, the sound washes over you with its subtle burst of serotonin - a much needed side effect.

“Fine, fine, I’ll save the ooey-gooey stuff for after the race, then. Just one more quick thing though-” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist as he leans in to press a kiss to your temple. This time, you choose not to shy away from his touch, no matter how big and gaudy your body feels wrapped up in his arms. “I love you.”

Your heart flutters like the wings of a caged bird, yearning to break out of your chest and nestle up tight within his own. You smile, tossing all of the bad thoughts from earlier in the day out of your mind completely. Once again you’ve learned: as long as you have Lando with you, everything really is okay. “I love you, too.”

The news articles do drop early the next morning, from multiple sources, with their rude and hateful headlines about you, your body type, and your worth in regards to Lando’s love. And, just as you expected, each and every one of them hits like a knife to your gut as you see them pop up one after another on your feed.

But, at the end of every single one of these articles is the same quote from Lando - the only quote he offered the reporters on the matter of your relationship during the entire day.

“Quite frankly, I don’t care what anyone thinks of our relationship. It isn’t their business, it’s mine and her’s, and I genuinely think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. Nothing is going to change that.”

And you just smile.

[concreteangel92]

Gaming with Noah

Noah Sebastian x female reader

Warnings: none, all fluff

Just a little something I love to think about, I’m not a huge gamer personally (depends on the game haha) but when I am playing, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like playing with Noah 🖤

Masterlist

* Noah would definitely love that you’re into gaming

* Even if it’s not as much as him and/or maybe even more then him

* Gaming date nights are a weekly thing (schedule depending obviously)

* He’d definitely try to play with you online if he’s away on tour and he has some free time

* You’d either take it in turns to play a game or he’d most definitely set up two stations so you can play your own games next to each other

* He’d stay offline from the boys so you get his full attention

* Snacks are a must, he’d make sure all your favourites are there

* He’d feel a sense of pride when he has to help you get past a hard part on your game

* Man loves to show off his gaming skills

* Never passes up the opportunity to be your knight in shining armour

* Just smiles at you lovingly when you’re shouting at the tv when you’re in a battle scene because you couldn’t be more adorable to him at that moment

* I also see pizza (or your favourite take away of choice) being ordered for these nights

* Both of you would laugh at each other when you both jump while playing the horror games and a jump scare happens

* If you’re not in the mood to play, he loves when you just cuddle up and watch him

* If you were playing a game while he wasn’t home and fell asleep, you know for a fact that if he walked in and saw you sleeping, holding the controller, his only thought will be “yep, that’s my girl”

* Man wouldn’t know how he got so lucky

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 44)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (39) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson Mini (3)

Masterlist (other parts here)

((**This is now my largest chapter at 7.5k. Enjoy!**))

YFN had instantly fallen asleep in her seat on the plane and woke to the jolt of the landing gear absorbing the impact on touchdown. She shook her fatigue away and took her phone off flight mode. 11:15am UK time. She gave a sigh of relief that the flight had been quicker than usual. She knew she’d been cutting it close with the flight time and instead of Ruby picking her up as planned, she’d told her to go to the stadium instead so she could get an Uber. It worked out well, because it meant she had time to speak to Jordan without feeling rude talking in front of Ruby.

She collected her bags and timed the Uber well, hopping in immediately as she exited the building. The stadium was thirty minutes from the airport so she’d be arriving just at kick off. She wasn't too concerned, though. Bridget and Emily were also in Manchester for a 1300 game between Man City and Brighton and were getting a bit more experience up onsite with Ruby at her game. She was lucky to have such good workmates.

She slid into the cab with a polite hello and found the only contact with a fish in it.

“Hey chicken! How was Barcelona?”

“Oh my god, Dory, it was amazing. Absolutely amazing. But I’m dead on my feet.”

Jordan laughed. “I’m guessing Lucy didn’t let you sleep much?”

“Don’t be cheeky. But you are correct.”

“How many hours are you running on?”

She counted. “I had two hours sleep on the plane so…about five hours?”

“What?!”

“I think…I remember we had a ‘midnight snack’ but that was about 4am so…”

“You’re unbelievable. Priorities, right?”

YFN chuckled. “I have no regrets beyond the struggle to walk-”

“Oh god! I don’t want to hear it.”

They both laughed together.

“How are you? Tell me everything.”

Jordan hummed and then proceeded to tell YFN about her dreams and the flowers and note that morning.

“Why didn’t you lead with that?!”

“I don't know. Good news before bad?”

“You think the flowers and note are bad news?”

“I don’t know. My head’s all over the place from the dreams. They were good and bad, but it’s just wrecked me emotionally.”

“I understand that…it’s not great for game day. Are you on your way there now?”

“Yeah, I’m on the bus. We have another hour and a half to go.”

“Well, you can’t resolve these emotions before the game because that would be a miracle. So how about you put a movie on and distract yourself? Don’t sleep, you won’t be able to.

“Yeah, I think I’ll do that to be fair…”

“Perfect. Have you messaged her?”

“No. I can’t do that today. Trying not to mess with my head before the game.”

“That’s all good, I was going to suggest maybe not responding until after the game.”

“You’re doing two games today, aren’t you?”

YFN’s mouth almost dropped open. “You have no idea how proud I am that you remembered that? I told you a while ago...”

“Oh, sorry, I should probably keep up my forgetfulness, right? Who are you again?”

YFN laughed. “I love forgetful Dory. She’s my favourite. Along with cuddly Dory. Football Dory though…jeez she’s terrifying.”

“I definitely will be today.”

“Get those emotions out, girl! Just don’t hurt anyone or get red carded please.”

“No promises.”

“As for your question, yep. I have the 1200 Man United versus West Ham game at Leigh and then the 1845 Arsenal versus Leicester game at King Power.”

“Oh that's right! Kyra…”

YFN had obviously told Jordan about Kyra. They both thought it was cute.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Our bus will drop us back at Villa Park about 7pm tonight…I can drive and meet you there?”

YFN could tell that Jordan needed comfort, and most of her friends were in London. She did the timing math in her head.

“You’d arrive about 8pm tonight with the traffic…how about you get a lift with my guy, Matt? He’s relocating to my game and then driving me back to Birmingham after it’s done.”

“Oh, yeah! That works out brilliant, that does. God, you’re so good at this logistics stuff. I just kick a ball around.”

YFN had a giggle at the visual image and messaged Matt. “And you look great doing it. Plus, you do more than that and you know it.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

YFN bit her lip as she thought a little. Jordan needed some love, and she knew just what to do. “What do you think about us asking Katie and Caitlin to stay the night? We’ll all finish up around 9pm in Leicester so they’ll have overnight accommodation. If I message them then they’ll have time for the team to cancel their room. They can come home with us.”

“Ohhh I didn’t think of that! See, this is why you’re the best.”

YFN grinned at the sound of genuine happiness in Jordan’s voice. She knew she missed them a lot.

She looked up and could see the stadium approaching in the distance. “I’m excited! Okay, I’m almost at the stadium. I’ll message the group.”

“Okay, love you!”

“Love you more. I’m so excited to see you tonight! Have a good game today, please. Smash it.”

They hung up happy and she opened a message from Matt that replied with an excited yes. Being a Villa supporter meant his dream just came true. YFN wondered how the car ride with them would be to Leicester and couldn’t help but be amused.

YFN then put a message in their little four-way group. Caitlin was usually the first to respond whether it be message or Instagram, and today was no exception. She’d answered an unequivocal yes for the both of them before she’d even stepped foot into the stadium.

The national anthems were playing just as she arrived and met up with her workmates. Bridget was running the boundary line, excitedly videoing the singing while Emily and Ruby were taking photos.

“Hey, Em.”

“YFN! Hi!” She gushed, wearing her purple and yellow Lumos hoodie. YFN was wearing Lucy’s hoodie so she opted for a beanie instead. “How was your flight?”

“I slept the entire trip,” she admitted with a chuckle.

Emily snapped a few shots of the starting line-ups.

“How are you and Bridget?”

“Oh, great! Yeah, we’re excited to be staying in Manchester tonight. Because we all have tomorrow off, we have plans to sight see and visit some family.”

They chatted for a little longer when YFN recognised the photographer from the last game she’d been to. The one who followed her home. She pretended to not notice him as she kept speaking to Emily and then made her way around the field to get a few good videos and say hi to Ruby and Bridget also. Bridget was running a mile a minute as she usually did, and Ruby mentioned that she had a date with Matt the next day. Ruby also ran a mile a minute, just with her mouth rather than her legs like Bridget. The whistle blew.

“Oh are those two already leaving already?” She asked rhetorically as Bridget and Emily waved on the way out. “Aw I didn’t say bye! Anyways, Matt said he’d take me on a date but I don’t know where-” she snapped a few photos and then cringed at the tackle she’d just captured, “-and I know it’s going to be amazing because we’ve been talking for a while now and…well not a while but since we all met and we were first partnered up-” she jogged further up the field to take another and came back when she was satisfied, “-and we’ve both been talking about supervising this next group of people coming in and we’re so excited for them to join us-” she took photos while YFN pulled her phone out to get a good Instagram video of Man United’s goal as they were both standing just a few metres from the West Ham goal. Goal number one, just three minutes in. YFN uploaded the video straight to their social media with an update on the score, “-and I just think it’s going to be amazing to have so many people with us. Is that guy staring at us?”

YFN turned to the photographer who’d been following her around the boundary, more focussed on her than the game.

“Yeah…just ignore him. He won’t hurt us.” She said, repeating what Catherine had said to her. Phone still on video mode in her hand, she pressed record but before she could lift her arm up to video him, they were interrupted.

“Now, now, physical violence isn’t my thing.” The voice teased from behind them.

YFN didn’t even have to turn, but she did out of polite habit as Mark stepped next to her, his eyes focussed on the game. She kept her phone on record and down near her body, but angling the mic towards him.

“Mark.”

“YFN. I hear you had a lovely trip up to Edinburgh to meet your…controversial leader.”

Ruby frowned, not understanding.

“He’s just teasing,” she assured. “Could you give us a minute?”

Ruby nodded and headed back up the field.

“So none of them know then?”

“What could you possibly be referring to, Mark?”

“Joanne.” He almost hissed. “That heartless woman.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well let me be clear, then. I know your boss. She took something from me, so I’m going to tear her whole fucking business down.”

“Which business would that be?”

“The only one not protected by a board. Lumos. Her baby that she’s trying so desperately to hide. And you know exactly how I’m going to start?”

“By getting a photographer to follow me?”

He gave a grin that sent shivers down her spine. “Something along those lines.”

He handed her a large yellow envelope. Against her better judgement, she took it and looked inside. She found several printed photos of herself and Lucy kissing at the airport. The photos weren’t the best quality, they looked like they’d been taken on a phone, but still…it was disturbing.

She turned her attention back to the game as if she were unbothered. “Congratulations. You gave me photos of my girlfriend and I. You do realise that we are public? We have nothing to hide.”

“You don’t think that someone in your position dating one of the most famous footballers of all time is a conflict of interest? Let me give you some advice…people will care. Whoever Joanne has investing in her company will. And this is just the start. I’ll get more and more dirt on not just you, but your workmates also. I’ll drag you all into the fucking ground.”

She sharply breathed in. “You want to ruin a good thing for a little rivalry?”

“A good thing?” He scoffed. “Nobody wants to watch women play. Look around you. The stands are only filled with friends and family. As for everyone who works at Lumos…” He shrugged. “Collateral.”

YFN let herself look at him. He was determined and deadly serious.

“See that photographer? Get used to seeing him around. As for Joe…tell her I’m going to tear down her company before it even begins.”

It was a dominant display by Manchester United who ended up winning 5-0 with five different goal scorers. YFN felt for West Ham who she’d grown a soft spot for since her visit, and especially felt empathetic for their Captain, Mackenzie Arnold, a fellow Australian, as she was the goalkeeper. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been mentally after a game like that. You’d feel like it was all your fault while having to be the one to pull the team together.

A few of the players wandered over to her after the match, one being Mackenzie. She gave her a hug and surprisingly agreed to an interview. She interviewed her alongside Mary Earps, letting the two talk business. Mary didn’t exactly have a quiet game, she’d had shots that she’d saved and they both bantered about that, with YFN steering the questions when and where she wanted. The fact that they both pointed out the brilliance in several different moments of each teams and gushed over not just their team but the opposite was the exact reason she’d fallen in love with women’s football. After those two, she interviewed Kirsty Smith and Riko Ueki with Ella Toone and Lucia Garcia. The dynamics of who she put together were interesting and got the results she wanted. She felt like she was Graham Norton putting interesting guests on and leading them here and there with questions, making sure they each felt acknowledged and appreciated for their time and their skill on the pitch.

They finished up around 2:30pm and stopped for a late lunch and some quick editing and posts before they started their two-and-a-half-hour drive to Leicester for their next game. It was only early evening, and YFN could already feel herself getting tired.

As they got into the car, Ruby noted that and told her to get some sleep. She had no idea that Ruby could be quiet for long enough and was pleasantly surprised.

Just before she went to sleep, she sent the video recording of Mark’s voice to Catherine who she knew was busy with few royal duties, and then she fell asleep just after she put her phone on charge.

YFN woke to the loud sound of her phone ringing and she jumped, her face feeling half numb from the window. The car was stopped and she looked outside to Ruby who’d noticed her wake and gave her a thumbs up from the fuel bowser. She gave one back and answered the phone without checking the caller ID.

“YFN! Are you okay?!”

She recognised the voice immediately. “Cath- I mean. Joe? Wow, you really did a great job of sounding not yourself before we met.”

Catherine gave a light chuckle. “One of my secret talents. I listened to your video. Did he threaten you?”

“Not physically, just what you heard on the video.”

“He’s absolutely insistent and much more of a pain than I’d expected.” She sounded annoyed and that was amusing to YFN as she was always painted as the perfect Princess. “I’m so sorry. I spoke to Joe and even she is surprised. He will not hurt you. If you feel unsafe at all, I will hire security.”

“That’s okay, I think we’re okay for now. He seems to be all bark at the moment..”

“He is, I assure you. Also, there is no conflict of interest here. I’m aware of your relationship. We are not even covering her games yet and when we do, it is absolutely not a conflict of interest. The man doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I know you, I chose you for a reason and your judgement, and your actions won’t be compromised by your relationship. Not only that, but there’s nothing in which to base these allegations on just yet. I understand the implications that may occur with you interviewing her and potentially being seen as biased, but I’ve seen your work, I’ve seen you interview friends and colleagues without that bias. I chose carefully.” She sighed. “My plan was for us to build your reputation in the field so high it would surpass any of these allegations before they even occurred.”

“I appreciate the support, and I promise that anything to do with Lucy or her team against another team will not be an issue. I want everyone and every team to be represented, regardless of if they’re against her or not.”

“Perfect. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, I think. In the meantime, you don’t need to hide your relationship. I’d never ask or expect that of you.”

“Thank you…also I’m assuming part of your security check on us is that you look for anything controversial which may be used against us like this?”

She hesitated. “Yes. I don’t like it, but we need to protect ourselves and the business from any potential threats…”

“I understand, and I agree.” Ruby hopped back into the car then with a grin. “You have my support…Joe.”

Catherine took the hint. “He won’t find anything controversial on the other employees because there is nothing. We just need to stay a tight knit group and continue our jobs.”

“Copy that, will do. Would you like me to send out a group memo about him?”

Ruby started to drive again.

“Yes, absolutely. If you don’t mind, I’ll write it and you send it?”

“Perfect, that saves me the work.”

“Lastly, the office won’t be ready tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Her interest peaked at that. She could be with Lucy on her day off. Jonatan had been giving her more days off with her knee. She only had to train four days this week, Tuesday to Friday.

“It’s all related. Mark somehow managed to talk to the local council…anyways I’m sorting it. It’ll be ready by Wednesday, I promise you.”

“Okay. That’s perfectly fine. I’ll meet up with the real estate agent and then the original ten of us will settle in and prep for the new group to arrive.”

“I thought it would be best to start the new group on Thursday instead because of the timing with the office date moving, but I wanted to check with you first to make sure you weren’t losing too much preparation time with them for the next round?”

YFN thought about it a little. Their first game was Saturday, and it was the only one. Catherine had gotten permission for ten employees at that game which allowed her to send two original crew with a full new crew to train. “I think Thursday will work. It’ll give us two full days to cover everything which is enough, and for eight of them, they’ll get experience on Saturday at Stamford Bridge. If I feel we need more, I’ll organise Saturday with the others not at the game to prep more.”

“Agreed! We think very much alike, you know.” It was a compliment that made her blush.

Catherine asked if she had any more questions before the call ended. She wasn’t surprised it wasn’t a long conversation, as she knew she’d been busy all day with regular duties and then Mark’s drama in the background. She couldn’t help but think about the possibility of booking a flight to Barcelona to spend the next two days with Lucy, as she knew she had the next day off. She could explore Barcelona with Narla and do a bit of work on the Tuesday while Lucy was training… She bit her lip and shook her head. Jordan needed her. Jordan was her priority. Thinking of, she looked up Jordan’s game which was almost finished. It had been fairly even all game and Jordan had been subbed on in the 65th minute, having a goal attempt in the 66th minute. YFN smiled as she watched Jordan running around, looking frustrated which was so opposite to her everyday self. Aston Villa were up 1-0 and she watched while Ruby listened to the end of the game. Multiple fouls were made by both teams. Aston Villa scored a second goal. A foul by Jordan at the 90 minute mark. And then it was over. Jordan had only played 30 minutes, but she’d made an impact. YFN sent Jordan a message saying how proud she was of her.

They arrived in Leicester around 5:45pm and stopped at a local café for another snack and a drink before the game. Being too early at the stadium meant boredom. They made sure to arrive around 6:15pm and set their equipment up, capturing the players during warm up. The Leicester players exited first to warm up and a few came over to chat. Luck have it, Courtney was one of them. Australians tended to flock together outside of Australia, she realised. YFN asked if she’d do an interview after the game and she agreed for the price of a hoodie. She liked Courtney and could see why Kyra did too. They were both cheeky.

“Hey stranger.”

YFN turned to see Leah’s smile as she stepped next to her. She was alone and not in kit, not quite ready to play after her ACL.

“Leah!” She smiled, pulling her into a hug. She liked Leah, regardless of her issues with Jordan, and she’d previously spoken to Jordan about their little growing friendship. She was okay with it, of course, otherwise YFN wouldn’t have been so forward. “How are you?”

“Oh mate, desperate to get onto that field, I’m telling ya.” She looked longingly at the pitch and then back to YFN. “I watched your interviews. They’re great! I don’t know why anyone hasn’t interviewed like that before.”

“The ones from last week?”

“Yeah and this morning. I loved it, honestly. I’ll be happy to do interviews anytime with you, just let me know.”

“That’s just given me an idea…” She hummed as she thought.

“Taking me up on the offer already?” She laughed.

“Actually I’ve been trying to work out different segments and ideas that would make us stand out from other companies….you’re not playing today. There are always players who are not playing but watching their teams. So it might be a good idea to get players willing to on the sidelines with us to interview and to film some of the snippets we upload with their own perspective and jokes and insight. Sort of like when you’re excitedly screaming motivation at the girls from the bench, but this time they’d be in snippets for our social media. It’ll promote the team and show just how supportive all of the players are with each other. Plus, I think it'd be hilarious.”

“Sort of like when they mic up the cricket players?”

“EXACTLY.”

“Put me in, coach. I love the sound of that. Plus, if it mucks up, you can just blame me.”

“You are 100% my scapegoat if it goes bad.” She laughed. “You’d be willing to today?”

She shrugged. “I have nothing else going on and I’m used to the camera so why not.”

“Perfect! Yeah, oh that’s so exciting-” She stopped and bit her lip as she thought of Jordan.

“What is it?”

“Um…maybe not today? Maybe next game?”

The frustrating thing was that she didn’t know yet if she’d even be at Arsenal’s next game. It depended on the roster.

“YFN, just tell me.”

“So…hm…here’s the thing…”

“Please don’t tell me this is about Jordan?” She asked, a little upset. “I was hoping that wouldn’t affect our relationship…”

“It won’t! Dory’s fine with us being friends. It’s just…”

“Spit it out, mate.”

“She’s going to be here in under an hour.”

She swore Leah paled. She definitely froze. “Oh.”

“Yeah…so she’ll already be with me on the sidelines for company.”

“She just finished a game…” she looked at her watch. “…so if she’s coming here I guess it’s to talk about us?”

“Leah…”

“She told you about this morning?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” She groaned and ran her hand through her hair. “Look, I don’t know your opinion on everything and I don’t want to drag you into it all, but I promise you I just want the best for Jordan.”

“And the best for Jordan is you?”

Leah held her eye contact. “Yes. Just…I know I don’t have the right to ask but I will. Can you please maybe tell Jordan it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to go with me this Friday night to the awards? I want to win her back, to be there for her but I can’t without opportunity to actually be around her.”

“I won’t convince her to do something she doesn’t want to…”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Just…advocate for me? You don’t have to push it. Just…please?”

“I’ll have a talk to her,” she murmured.

“CHICKEN!”

The Arsenal players were headed out for their warm up and most were headed her way led by the Irishwoman who was being overtaken by a smiley, wavy Kyra.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it. Also, I can still do that thing with you, I can be over the other side away from Jordan if she doesn’t want me near.”

“Thanks Leah, I’ll ask her about it when she gets here,” she replied with a smile.

“Ask who about what?!” Kyra asked as she landed on YFN’s back. YFN’s hands immediately caught her legs.

“Oof. You do realise I’m small, right?”

“Yeah, but I knew you’d catch me. When’s Nobbs here?”

A few of the Arsenal girls looked awkward because Leah was there. “It’s okay…” she assured them. “She’ll be here during the first half.”

“Okaaaaay.”

“Oh, also Kyra invited herself tonight.” Caitlin said as she wrestled Kyra off of YFN so she and Katie could give her a hug.

“Tonight? Where was our invite?” Beth asked.

YFN grinned sheepishly. “Our apartment isn’t big enough for the entire Arsenal squad…”

“I’m just joking, this one wants an early sleep anyways,” she said as she nudged Viv who looked unimpressed as usual.

“Aw what a granny!” Kyra teased.

YFN couldn’t help but laugh at the look on Viv’s face. Kyra giggled at her joke, ducking away from Caitlin’s motherly swat to the back of the head when a blue shirt appeared amongst the red and Kyra stilled.

“Hey…”

“Courtney!” YFN replied, making sure she didn’t feel left out. “Hey!”

Courtney looked around, her eyes finding Kyra and then tearing them away pretending she hadn’t looked at her. “Just letting you know Sam and Sophie are both good for the interview after the game. Do you know who it’ll be with?”

“Awesome! Yeah, I was hoping Beth and Frida would be up for it…”

“Me? Yes please! Not sure if I’ll be subbed on though,” Beth said eagerly.

Viv rolled her eyes. “She’ll be subbed on.”

“FRIDA!” Katie yelled.

“FRIDA!!” Beth yelled shortly after. Viv covered her ears and YFN chuckled at that.

The blonde spun around and jogged over. “Yes?”

Frida Maanum was a Norwegian midfielder who’d been with Arsenal since 2021. She was rarely chosen to be interviewed and softly spoken, so YFN thought it’d be great to involve her and help her confidence out with Beth who she could always rely on to talk if she didn’t.

“Want to do an interview with me after the game? YFN wants to know.”

Frida looked over at YFN with a polite hello wave. “It’s going to be with Sam Tierney and Sophie Howard from Leicester. You can absolutely say no if you want.”

“You want me?” She sounded surprised.

“Of course she wants ya, you’re amazin’.” Katie said with a playful grab of her shoulder.

“O…okay. Yeah.” She smiled at YFN which made the Australian feel good for asking.

“Aw, I’ll look after you mate! No need to be nervous!” Beth said loudly, extending an arm around her shoulder.

“So…Beth and Frida,” YFN said to Courtney with a smile. “And then you and Kyra. Is that okay Kyra?”

“Yeah that’s cool.” Kyra said, suddenly quiet.

Courtney’s eyes widened hearing that she’d be interviewed with Kyra. YFN knew it was sneaky of her but it was an opportunity for Courtney to reject the idea before she surprised her with her ex. Not that they were ever public knowledge.

“Okay. I’ll see you after the game.” She said, directed straight at YFN but she knew it was more for Kyra from the tone of it.

Caitlin and YFN shared a sheepish look.

“Come on girls, Jonas is about to kick our asses. Let’s get warmin’ up!” Katie ordered.

“If you see me shouting from the sidelines, it’s because I’m mic’d up!” Leah warned them and received some amused looks in return.

“You’d better not be focusin’ on my ass.” Katie teased.

Caitlin messed up Kyra’s hair. “You’d better be focusing on this one’s debut!”

They all jogged off and Leah turned to YFN.

“Okay boss, where do you want me?”

Jordan and Matt arrived just after 7pm, both with wide grins. Matt because he’d just spent a car ride with Jordan and Jordan because of YFN.

“Dory! Come here!” She took her friend in a hug big enough to lift the footballer off the ground and a few Arsenal fans spotted Jordan and shouted their love for her as she did so.

“I missed you.” She mumbled into Lucy’s hoodie.

“It’s been a day. Needy, hm?”

“I’m always needy.” Jordan grumbled as she put her down.

“I missed you too.” YFN chuckled before turning to Matt. “You look excited, mate.”

He was still grinning ear to ear and nodded.

“I think I tired him out with all the talking, to be fair.”

“I’m glad you two got on for the drive then. Matt, are you okay taking a few of us back to Birmingham tonight? If not, I can ask Ruby…”

“Yes!” He almost shouted and then cleared his throat. “Um, yes, of course. Who..?

“Uh Dory, Katie, Caitlin, Kyra and myself. Oh actually that won’t work… Ruby will have to take some of us anyways… maybe those three and I’ll ask Ruby if she can take Kyra and I.”

“Done.”

“How was the game?”

“Yeah, great. Noel and I got some great footage. A few of the girls were asking about interviews but I said we’d start next week.”

“Next week hopefully… and congrats on Aston Villa’s first win for the season?!”

“Yeah!” Jordan grinned. “I wasn’t on for long but I think I did alright.”

Loud noises from the crowd turned their attention to Leicester running towards goal. The ball was pushed out by Lotte for a corner.

“I’ll go record that.” Matt said as he ran towards the goal up the side of the pitch. Jordan spotted Leah behind the goal then.

“Leah…?”

“You had to have expected her to be here,” YFN teased.

“Well yeah but…is she recording with a phone?”

“I have her mic’d up for some footage. Trying something new out and she’s helping.”

Jordan frowned but her eyes remained on her, mixed emotions in her eyes.

The crowd went wild as Leicester scored from their corner. Jordan swore. The game reset.

“She really wants you to go with her on Friday..”

Jordan’s eyes flicked up to meet hers. “She said that? What else did she say?”

“Nothing you don’t already know… that she wants the best for you, she wants to win you back, and she wants an opportunity to do so.”

Jordan groaned. “I can’t. We rarely went to events together before. Now she wants to show me off to the world like I’m hers when I’m not?”

“I think she just wants a night with you, Jords…”

“Nope. No way. Unless she has another plus one and you come to chaperone us.”

YFN tilted her head. It wasn’t football but… “I could get an invite?”

Jordan spun back around. “You could?”

“My boss can 100% get me a ticket. Now, did you mean it?”

“I mean…” she looked over at Leah. “If you’re going, I will.”

“And is this really what you want?”

Jordan got a little frustrated and pouted, trying to think. She was a bundle of confused emotions and the dreams wouldn’t have helped. YFN put her arm around her and pulled her close.

“What do you think?”

“I think whatever this is, you need to resolve it. The best way to do that is communication. I think you should go. Sooner or later it’s going to be clear to you if you do or don’t want to have her back in your life.”

Leah looked over at the pair, her and Jordan looking at each other. She nodded. “I’ll go.”

“You’re sure?”

“I think I wanted to, I just didn’t want to admit it. Plus, you’ll be there now so it’ll be less awkward.” She grinned up at her.

YFN rolled her eyes and messaged ‘Joe’. Just as she finished the message, Leicester was surging forward, forward, forward, and tucked away their second goal. Two goals in two minutes. A terrible start for Arsenal.

Jordan settled next to YFN, following her and her camera around, watching the game intently. She always wanted the best for Arsenal. They had more of a catch up in between photos that she’d changed to as Matt was now doing the videography. YFN didn’t miss Leah off and on staring across at them just as longingly as she stared at the pitch she missed. Jordan and YFN gradually moved closer to Leah through that first half, though Leah ducked away to the change rooms for half time with her girls.

While it was half time, Ruby, Matt and YFN on worked on their footage while they talked.

“New office tomorrow?!” Matt asked excitedly.

“Oh…no. That’s been delayed until Wednesday. Waiting on approvals. New group are now starting Thursday.”

“You’re not going to Barcelona?” Jordan asked. “Doesn’t Lucy have tomorrow off?”

“You spoke with her?”

“Yeah she messaged me. I assumed you suggested it,” she laughed, “she’s terrible at messaging.”

“Not with me.” YFN winked. “Also that was all her, I promise.”

Jordan rolled her eyes and nudged her almost off her chair. “She misses you.”

“I was there this morning…”

“You miss her too.”

“Dory…” She groaned.

“No.” She said, putting her hand on the camera YFN was playing with which made her look up at her. Ruby and Matt shifted a little nervously as they could do nothing but listen. Jordan looked serious. “Don’t you dare stay here tonight just for me. You barely get any time with her as it is. She’s my friend too, and I like to see her happy. And you happy. And you’re both never as happy as when you’re together.” YFN opened her mouth to argue but Jordan continued. “Let me live vicariously through you. You’ve already done enough, I have Katie and Caitlin and Kyra tonight! They need a bed.”

“You’re kicking me out of our apartment?” YFN laughed.

“Only if you can find a flight.”

She put her camera down and took Jordan into a warm, long hug, mumbling into her. “I love you, Dory. You know that? If we’re both single in five years, I’m going to propose.”

Jordan laughed but they were both emotional. They just wanted the best for each other. “Okay but Blu will be ring-bearer.”

YFN laughed back into her and sat back, wiping tears away that she didn’t even know had formed.

“You’re putting Kyra on the couch?”

“I’ll let her share my bed if she shuts up.”

“She’s only small, she’ll be asleep before you all finish dinner. She tends to tire herself out fast, the little baby.”

“Little baby,” Jordan mimicked adoringly. “Now look for flights. I’ll message Lucy.”

“Or…how about we make it a surprise?”

“I love it! If she thinks you’re robbing her and knocks you out though, that’s not on me.”

She did wonder what Lucy’s reaction would be. She found a flight from Birmingham to Barcelona at 11pm.

“Won’t you need her to unlock the door?”

“I have keys…”

“You two are adorable.”

“I found an 11pm flight from Birmingham…”

“Do you think you’ll make that?!” Ruby asked. “I’m happy to take you…”

“That…sort of works out perfect because then the girls will all fit in Matt’s car. Um…the game finishes at 8:30pm. Interviews until 9pm. Arrive at the airport around 10pm. Cutting it close for international but it’s a late flight and nobody will be there… I think we can make it?” She shrugged and booked the flight anyways. If she didn’t make it, it wasn’t meant to be.

Jordan grinned. “Tell her to thank me when you get there.”

“Honestly, I’m probably going to be passed out from fatigue all day and not even get the chance.”

Her phone buzzed. It was the flight confirmation.

“Are you sure?” She asked Jordan. Sure, she’d already booked the flight, but it was cheap and she didn’t care. She wanted Jordan to be okay.

Jordan grabbed her around the shoulders and smiled. “I promise it’s okay. You’ve really cheered me up today and helped with my Friday night decision. Plus, I have the girls tonight. We both know you’ll just pass out anyways.”

“How dare you…” she laughed as the crowd began cheering loudly as the players re-entered the field. Ruby and Matt got to work. She stood to do the same when her phone buzzed again.

Joe: Done, they sent us through two invitations. Check your emails. Enjoy!

She grinned at the message and then at Jordan.

“What?” She handed her phone over and Jordan took it, an ecstatic look crossing her face. “Yes mate!”

She took her phone back and pocketed it, holding her camera up to take photos of the players as they ran out.

“One condition.”

“Anything.”

She jerked her head towards Leah who was wandering over to the pair. “You tell her.”

Jordan groaned. “Okay but at the end of the night. She can sweat until then.”

YFN chuckled at that.

Starting the second half 2-0 against them meant Arsenal had to push deep. And they did. Arsenal kicked six goals in the second half. Their first came at a hesitation from Courtney which YFN felt terrible for. She was next to Leah when that happened who filmed a mic’d up scream of joy from behind the Leicester goal as the shot went in. Slowly Jordan gravitated towards Leah more during the match, Leah managing to let her come at her own pace. The rest of the match was an absolute riot. Caitlin with an assist and a goal, Katie with an assist, and Kyra with multiple attempts at goal. She was shocked when she saw Courtney take Kyra down in the 83rd minute and wondered just how much of the history between them she didn’t know. The game ended 2-6 Arsenal. A complete second half dominance that had Leah screaming with joy on the sidelines. It turned out to be the perfect day to test the mic’d up segment, as she posted the live updates with video’s Leah had taken of her yelling at the girls running towards goal and screaming, turning the camera around on herself to show her celebrating. It was great content.

Regardless of the outcome, the Leicester players still came over for their interviews. First she had Sam, Sophie, Frida and Beth who actually did get some game time and almost a first goal since she’d come back from her ACL tear. Beth was the loudest, of course, and helped Frida to open up a bit. Frida had some back and forth with the Leicester girls talking about some of the plays including Sam’s goal. Overall, she was happy with the results of the interview, and how much the girls had come out of their shells.

Next was her interview with Courtney and Kyra who seemed equally nervous next to each other. They knew each other well though. YFN waited to sense the overall mood before she allowed herself to go in with some cheeky questions about Courtney’s tackle on Kyra, and Kyra’s debut. Her goal was to get them to start teasing each other, and it worked. At first, they didn’t want to address each other, and after a few comments here and there, it was more them talking and throwing cheeky comments to each other, and YFN could almost sit back and enjoy watching the show. She had to steer it a few times of course, both were young, but the tension between the two was obvious. For the sake of the viewers and their privacy, YFN made sure to make it known to the camera that they were teammates and brought up that they went to school together as justification which started a whole other line of questioning about their start in football.

Only when she was satisfied that she’d helped them break whatever awkwardness they’d previously had, did she end the interview, but not before she told Kyra how proud she was of her on camera for her debut. Courtney gave her a proud shove for that too.

Being Australians, and women, they all hugged their goodbyes, Kyra whispering a thanks into her ear. As they were packing up, she could see them still chatting as Courtney was being called away. She gave Kyra her phone and she typed into it what YFN assumed was her number. Courtney gave an awkward wave, obviously not knowing whether a hug was appropriate, and ran into the change rooms. Kyra turned to YFN with a grin and a little fist pump. It was adorable.

She looked past Kyra to where Leah and Jordan were standing, Jordan telling her she’d go on Friday. Leah’s expression flashed excitement before she contained it, and then it went a little shy as she pretended to be calm about it. They didn’t speak for long, just enough for Jordan to agree before she wandered off with Leah’s eyes following her longingly. She watched for a while until she met YFN’s eye and blushed, having been caught. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ to which she gave a smile in return.

“We really need to go.” Ruby stressed. She looked at the time and groaned. She only had time for quick goodbyes with everyone and a threat to Katie and Caitlin to not have sex in her bed. Katie seemed to enjoy the idea of the threat, to be honest, and that terrified her.

She rushed through security as quickly as possible and was the last person to board the flight, sweating and grateful she’d made it, though cursing herself for having to stay longer just to make sure Kyra and Courtney were good. As with her morning flight, she passed out immediately and wished she had a chance for a shower before seeing Lucy. Instead of a shower, she tidied herself up in the bathroom at the Barcelona airport when she touched down, changing her clothes and washing away the day. She brushed her teeth and did her nightly makeup routine, ignoring some funny looks. She sure as hell wasn’t going to let her skin suffer more than it already was with the change in weather between the UK and Spain.

Her Uber dropped her off at just before 3am and for some reason she was nervous, jiggling the keys Lucy had given her in her hands and playing with the little flags. At the front door she took a deep breath in and unlocked the door, entering as quietly as possible so as to not wake Lucy or Narla. She kicked off her shoes and left her suitcase in the entrance, not wanting to risk the wheels waking them. The smell as she walked into the house was home. Vanilla and bitter orange, and whatever the hell Lucy had been cooking for dinner. She swore she could even smell the big breakfast they’d had that morning. She looked at the trophy Lucy still had out and smiled, putting her phone on charge next to it before tip-toeing her way into the bedroom.

Lucy was quite literally dead asleep. She was on her back facing YFN’s side of the bed, one hand touching the pillow YFN had been sleeping on the night before. She was beautiful. She loved seeing her so vulnerable and herself. Her dark hair was spread out over the pillow, another thing she loved. Lucy with her hair down. She clicked the door closed quietly and snuck around to her side of the bed, avoiding Lucy’s collection of shoes around the bed. She carefully laid down and when she touched Lucy’s hand to move it, she jerked awake, her head rising and her eyes opening.

“It’s just me.” She whispered and put a hand to her cheek, coming closer so Lucy could see her better without her glasses.

“What? What?” She was dazed and confused, her body tense.

“Shhh. Shhhh.” She comforted and cuddled up to her, her head finding Lucy’s collarbone. “It’s okay, it’s just me. I’m sorry for scaring you.”

“Little one?” She asked, unbelieving. “You…you’re here.”

Her arms wrapped around YFN tighter than they ever had before, holding her close to her body, her own body softening into her. “Is everything okay?!”

“Everything’s fine, Luce. I have the next two days off. I’m all yours.”

Lucy groaned happily and kissed her wherever she could reach.

“Sleep now, Luce.”

“You’re home,” she whispered huskily with emotion, her voice already fading.

“I’m home.”

[ju1cyfru1t]

Heeey, I stumbled upon your blog and wanna say it's sooo cuuute. And the fact that you're a minor makes it 10 times better because like, I turned 18 this year so that means I'm older than you and legally allowed to step onto my elder sister role to encourage you too keep going. The fics you've published are so nice and fluffy and heart-warming and, even though they are not perfect, they are so fun! Keep going!

Idk, I felt like saying something nice.

Aaalso, if you like to write headcanons, I'd love to see some with Leo or maybe all four turtles. If you need inspo, you could start off with a stressed/busy reader because with becoming an adult comes university :'D. And I think Leo would be particularly jelaous of the homework and refuse to leave the reader's arms even when there are ✨deadlines✨ and ✨assignments✨.

This is my first request btw and it wasn't meant to be one originally lol

Have fun!

omg thank you so so much this is actually so sweet and it fr means a lot :( 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 I really hope you like this!

Rise! Leo x Overworked! Reader

Fluff! :D comfort? Headcanons + Drabble

gn reader! romantic but could be read as platonic

- Leonardo obviously could not truly, fully understand academic pressure nor did he care to seeing as he had never really gone to school. He didn’t get what was so important about it to you, but he was supportive…to an extent.

- It just took all of your attention! he is needy

- There’s really no point in resenting something inanimate, but he doesn’t really seem to understand that.

- “what does your dumb homework have that I don’t?” “Are you seriously jealous of my homework right now, Leon?” “…Maybe.”

- as time went on and your schoolwork seemed to just keep piling on, he couldn’t deny he was worried about you. You just seemed so stressed and exhausted all the time, and midterms coming up did not help. He didn’t really know how to help you, or if he could at all but he could at least try to get you to rest a little.

“Uuuuggghhh, are you almost done?” Leo groaned, setting down his comic and watched you typing away at your desk as he laid on your bed.

“Yes, Leo, I am almost finished. “ You sighed, your back aching from sitting like that for so long and Leo sighed too. “You said that like an hour ago!”

“I know! I still need to proofread my essay again, turn in my reading guide, I think I have something missing for math right now-“ Your head was throbbing with tension as you held it in your hands.

“Come on, just take a break! you obviously need one…” he grumbled the last past, sitting up, he reached his arms out to you. He was staring at you pleadingly sigh then big ole’ eyes. “Just for a minute, I promise!”

You sighed deeply, standing up slowly. “Ok, fine. But only for a few minutes. I’m serious, Leo.”

“Yep, just a few minutes!” His eyes sparkled, and he practically tackled you. Leo laid on top of you, laying his head on your chest and he was squeezing you tightly. He really missed you…

Leo-1, homework-0

He could feel the tension in your body fade slowly, relaxing little by little. “This is nice…” You mumbled and yawned, your eyes shutting lightly.

“I told you so.” He smirked. Man, did he like being right. You allowed yourself to just have a moment of peace, trying so hard not to fall asleep. This was a nice moment, and you wanted to take it all in while you could. Oh, and you also needed to get back to work.

“Leo…I need to get back to work now.” You tried to sit up, but he just pushed you back down lightly, nuzzling into you.

“Nooo! Shhhh, just relax, babe.” Leo cooed, his soft voice made you feel warm and fuzzy as he churred,“Isn’t this comfy?”

“Yeah…but you are kind of heavy.” You mumbled the last part.

He gasped dramatically, but didn’t move at all, he was too comfortable like this. You were fighting to stay awake at this point.

“ I need to…finish my work.”

“Shhh~ don’t worry about that right now, just relax. I’ve got you.” It concerned you at how well he could soothe you so quickly, and soon you forgot about all of your assignments as you slowly drifted into a much needed sleep.

And soon a few minutes turned into a few hours.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 4 A Locked-Room Mystery

You telling me I have to WAIT for new designs you kidding???

I have some 'neat plans' for MOTLE, idk might include New Fucked-Up Lore because what else is the cartoon for?? But I'll have to see

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

Little Logico wanders outside, and is immediately grabbed!!

LOGICO: OH FUCK NO, I AM NOT A STUFFED ANIMAL!

As charming as that is, that’s not why the people picked him up. He’s under arrest! He’s thrown in a little jail cell - this is NOT the luxury prison Gico is used to. 

COPPER: THERE you are you little PRICK! LOGICO: OH GOOD GOD!

Yep, she’s here, alongside Champagne and Bluski. 

BLUSKI: Hey. CHAMPAGNE: Hi. LOGICO: Of course, of COURSE the usual suspects are following me. WHY AM I HERE?? PERSON: A prisoner has been murdered and you’re the murder person. LOGICO: Good to know. I blame Officer Copper. COPPER: Chillax, my brother. I’m not a psycho cop anymore. Heh, around here, if they thought I looked at a guy wrong they’d put me down as a ‘bad dog’. LOGICO: Right.

In what appears to be a miniature theater for watching interrogations, Logico digs a scrap of paper from under a beautiful couch.

“In a street fight, ten people always beat one.”

Champ checks the passage.

CHAMPAGNE: This is from the Big Red Book. Major Red wrote this. LOGICO: Do you know who that is? CHAMPAGNE: Heh. Yeah. Don’t wanna get yourself in with him. [walks away] LOGICO: ...Care to share ANYTHING else??

Logi explores a phrase Irratino always whispered to him - the tallest suspect has the cheapest pen. Now just by looking at them, Champagne is the tallest guy in the room, but by legal standards, Bluski is supposed to be taller, so his pen is very cheap.

LOGICO: It- It makes sense if you look it up.

Seeing that Logico ‘caught’ his pen trick, Bluski heads to the elevator and travels way up.

LOGICO: How big is this station? CHAMPAGNE: 25 stories. Final floor, they’ve been known to throw people out the window.  LOGICO: This is horrific. I’m starting to miss the luxury prison. CHAMPAGNE: We all do mate.

Irratino is back home, asleep. He is dreaming of a human police woman wearing boots. I guess something different happens in the dream, and he shifts and giggles. But don’t worry, Logico got the clue somehow. This obviously means Copper kicked the prisoner to death! She shakes her head madly and spits all over the place.

COPPER: HOW CAN IT BE ILLEGAL IF A COP DOES IT???? LOGICO: I hate you so much. COPPER: NO, YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME! I’M A ‘BAD DOG’! I’M- LOGICO: Oh. OH, YOU MEANT LIKE THAT- PERSON: No, no.

A couple humans walk over and start creepily petting and patting Copper.

PERSON: There is no need for a consequence - it was only a prisoner. COPPER: Huh. Kinda like these guys~ LOGICO: I hATE this so much. Can I leave now?!?! COPPER: Whatever, man.

Logico tears away. He needs to get to the violet isles as soon as possible… for some reason.

The end!

Let's try to ignore Copper flirting with some background humans

(ok slight rant but I've saved it for the end so as to not ward people off, you can skip it)

I know it sounds petty but like I swear to god if anyone posts a murdle artwork, the entire tumblr fandom will notice (which is great btw!), but then if I post an artwork it's only the same three or so people who might look at it and it's just...

is it really THAT bad?? like... what am I doing wrong... ngl it's starting to feel less like the art quality and more personal...

but um... yea. i'm trying my best i guess

Uh chonkers jumpscare

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[i-am-church-the-cat]

Can we have more domestic loscar hc please👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Sure

They both sleep hot but always end up curled around each other in the morning so they always have the fan going and never put a comforter on their bed

Oscar hates to work out and Logan… does not help that lmao. They aren’t allowed to workout together

Neither of them cook and neither of them care what they eat most of the time so they have a roulette for their grocery list. They never know what’s going to show up each week. They’ve had two bags of radishes sitting at the bottom of their pantry for weeks now

Oscar does their budget bc Logan is bad at math

I have this headcanon that Logan is really good at puzzles so he does crosswords, sudoku, all that stuff, usually in the morning before Oscar is awake. Oscar normally comes out of the bedroom to his tea and Logan cursing out the New York Times

Logan gets migraines so Oscar keeps Excedrin in all of his bags

Bc they both learned some Italian at Prema, whenever they want to discuss stuff w/o being understood they’ll speak in Italian. But, they aren’t very good at it

Inspired by @dwarvenchords and their loscawson fic that Oscar cannot be woken up by man or god so often Logan ends up carrying him to the bedroom if he falls asleep somewhere. That’s why Logan’s beefing up so much, obviously

Oscar’s little sisters made them bracelets with their joined last names on them. They have them in a box for safekeeping but they’ll both wear them every once in a while. Specifically, if Logan ever is alone and really anxious he’ll wear it

They wanted to redo their bathroom. Oscar wanted to hire someone, Logan said he could do it. He did do it but it ended up costing more than what it would’ve cost to get someone else to do it. He’s proud of it though

Both of their favorite places to nap are in each other’s laps so it sucks when they BOTH want to nap bc it means someone has to be laid on

They get two dogs in their fifth season of f1, Riley and Muffin

Okay yep 👍🏼 gonna go home now bc i am sitting in my work’s parking lot

[samwinchestersbf]

"I Will"

Sam Winchester x Reader

This was based on Mitski's song, I just love her music so much.

Authors note: Suprise!! A comfort fic!! I haven't been doing the best lately, my mental health is really getting to me. I think writing this may help :) Beware of any writing mistakes, it's 4 am right now so criticism is welcomed. (silly hours for me) Non-specific reader and this one might be a little small.

Reblogs are appreciated!! <3

He was always so caring and lovely no matter what, you knew that.

However, something inside of you just ate at you for days, weeks even. It was different and difficult, causing the past to reel you back in. The 'What if' thoughts were consuming you once again.

What if that never happened to you? What if everything you went through was for nothing? What if this was the last week for you? What if you're just making it all up? What if.

The sadness was a persistent parasite, you wanted it out of you.

You were a little avoident and dismissive about it, throwing "Yep I'm good"'s at him.

He knew something was actually up with you, he attempted to try to fish it out of you.

You started to refuse to sleep in the same bed, if you did it would only be for a little bit before rising earlier than he did. You slept in the library or even the kitchen, your excuses with research and exhaustion weren't cutting it anymore.

He didn't do anything wrong, it was you being you.

He was finally able to corner you, catching you up in your lies.

You two were sitting in the impala, Dean in the store for some food on the ride home. You, in the backseat, pretending to be asleep so you could wiggle your way out of the tense situation.

"You're getting worse, I can see it. Please just talk to me, I will take good care of you."

You took a quiet deep breath to reject the tears.

You couldn't explain it to anyone out loud, it felt like an internalized argument with yourself.

An argument of upset and angry thoughts. You wanted help but the shame and bravery of asking for help was overwhelming to ignore.

His hand patiently reached for yours. It was warm and soothing. You ached for his love yet you couldn't bring yourself to embrace it.

"I'm sorry," is all you could mutter out. How could you explain to him?

Sorry Sam! The thoughts are getting worse and I'm not sure if I'll make it this time. I hope you can understand!

As if that was okay to tell him, it'll raise him to questions and concerns.

Dean came back to the car, putting an end to the situation. He was aware of how your mental state was, you weren't too hard to read.

He offered you food and you accepted it out of a hint of guilt if you didn't. You just placed the food next to you and watched the environment move when he backed out of the parking lot.

The drive was going normal, their normal brother bickering and silence. They were having a talk about the hunt you all got done with yesterday.

You decided to tune it all out, ruminating in your own world.

You thought of ways to tell him. Maybe you didn't need to, you could just lock it all away to eventually forget.

You started to feel a sense of dread building up in you so you attempted to sleep it off.

You woke up with soft whispers of your name, Sam's voice trying to wake you up.

Due to the lack of sleep and high alert you bolted up, sitting straight and facing him.

"We're here now, come inside so we can talk."

Those words made you feel small as a little kid would when they get in deep shit. You thought about it more, that's all you've been doing as of lately.

You got out of the car with Sam trailing behind you.

Dean must've been inside already, ready to booze and snooze.

The two of you just walked in the same tense atmosphere as before, making your way to your shared room.

He closed the door behind and immediately wrapped his arms around you in such a gentle way.

Obviously you couldn't help but sob in his care, you needed it so much. Repeating the words 'I'm sorry' to him over and over.

It never felt enough.

He never said anything during it, he understood sometimes you struggle. He played with your hair, guiding you to the bed to sit down with him.

"It's okay to feel this way", he replied to your aftermath of crying.

"I'm always here for you. I will always be here for you. There's no need to run and hide from it." The way he spoke to you in that tone, you wanted to melt in his love.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head still unsure of how to talk about it. He gave a simple nod and hugged you a little tighter before letting go.

"We should go clean up, we're dirty from that hunt."

Sam held your hand the entire time as he lead you to the showers.

You both stood in silence again, just appreciating each other while the water ran. You wished the peaceful intimate moments with him lasted forever.

The night ended with him holding you, the tense atmosphere now replaced with kindness and comfort.

"It's just getting really bad again, I just want it to stop."

"We can get through it together, please just stay with me for now."

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 12/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

If you guys see any changes when re-reading a chapter, means that I'm just proofreading and editing it haha

I proofread after I post something. Anyone interested in being a beta reader/proofreader?

-----------------------------------------------

Lucifer is anxious.

After his no more than 10 minute nap was interrupted by the arrival of Belphegor, they were the only 2 in the room. The Sin of Sloth all but ordered that no one enters Lucifer's quarters until she is has looked him over and deemed fine and safe.

He didn't even get to see Charlie but Belphegor in doctor mode is someone he doesn't want to be difficult with.

He could hear the rest of the Sins beyond the door, probably pushing each other to try and sneak a peak or hear something. It reminds him of the time when the Sins first came into existence and acted like clingy children to him and Lilith.

With all the experience he had with them, he still managed to fuck up with Charlie.

Belphegor: -head?

Oh, Bel was talking.

Lucifer: Hmm?

She purses her lips at his inattentiveness and type something on her tablet. This can't be good.

Belphegor: I asked how is your head?

Lucifer: Still attached to me.

Bel gave him a deadpan look.

Belphegor: Very funny.

Lucifer: I am a clown.

Belphegor: Do not let Mammon hear you say that, he might include you as one of his trademark jesters.

Bel fired a few more standard questions and despite her doubts, he was honestly feeling fine. His body and mind is just craving sleep right now but he's in not any sort of pain. Plus, it's not like Bel can cure his problem no matter how good she and her meds are.

Belphegor: Charlie mentioned stuff came out of you? Like dark smoke?

Lucifer: You have to take her word for it because I have no idea what was happening. I was basically asleep the whole time. You should check on her too though. She looks worse than I did.

Belphegor: Yes. Maybe next time, inform one of us of your whereabouts so that the princess doesn't have a mental breakdown when she finds you near dead.

Lucifer: Yeah yeah. But I was only there for a nap. Honest! You know how these Heaven trips are always so tiring, Bel.

Belphegor: Which brings me to my next question, how long have you been coming and going into Heaven?

Lucifer: Uhhh I don't know what you're talking about.

Belphegor: Don't think I did not get that slip of tongue. You said trips.

Lucifer: Did I? I meant trip. Cos this is the first time I've come back there. Yep.

Belphegor: You are supposed to be the father of lies yet you cannot even make up a good enough excuse when the situation calls for it.

Lucifer: Ouch.

Belphegor: So, how long have you been making your secret Heavenly trips without us knowing…… Your Majesty.

Ahhh ever so respectful, even when she's scolding him.

Lucifer: It looks like you already had your suspicions even before I fucked it up.

Belphegor: Opening a portal to a place that is obviously not the entrance to Heaven, having a key to open said portal to a private quarters, not one message above for a permission. It's not rocket science.

Lucifer: Jeez. I didn't even know you were watching that intently.

Belphegor: What servant would I be if I did not keep an eye on my King.

Lucifer: Ain't a good servant supposed to follow their King with no questions asked? This is feeling a lot like an interrogation.

Belphegor: You are correct. And you have mine and the Sins' unyielding loyalty. But.. it does appear like you've forgotten a simple detail.

Lucifer: Oh yeah? And what's that?

Belphegor: You are our big brother. We value you as our family, not simply as royalty.

Lucifer doesn't know what to say to that. Instead he opts to steer the subject.

Lucifer: Do the others know?

Belphegor: I do not think so. And I have half a mind to let them loose on you but.. no. I have a very good inkling you don't want anyone to know of your endeavours.

Lucifer: Just don't tell them. Not yet.

He know Bel won't but he still wants to ask anyway.

Belphegor: Very well. But you are not answering my question. How. Long?

Lucifer can't help but gulp. There's really no getting out of this one. He's a bit glad it's Bel and not anyone else. If there's anyone of the Sins who knows how to keep something to themselves, it's the Sin of Sloth.

Thankfully, she's also too focused on the fact that he's having secret meetings in Heaven than what happened back at the palace.

Lucifer: ….More or less 5000 years ago. It was Michael who reached out first. No one else knows except my siblings up there.

Belphegor: Not even the head Seraphim?

Lucifer: As far as Sera is concerned, I am still banned from setting foot beyond the pearly gates.

Belphegor: Why would the Archangel Michael take that risk then? If found out, would that not affect his standing in Heaven?

Lucifer: At first it was just to stay up to date. He said that he didn't fully trust the council but I think that's just an excuse to have me alone with no one hovering. It's not frequent enough that anyone in Heaven will be able to sense me. But I stopped going when the extermination was proposed.

He took Bel's silence as a cue to continue.

Lucifer: Long before the Fall, Michael and I promised never to lie to each other. And during those secret meetings, I still thought that. I told him everything. But he never told me about the extermination so I guess it was just me upholding that promise. I'm such a fool.

He buries his face in his hands because the he really is a fool. Michael wasn't the only one pretending everything was okay; that anything barely changed. Lucifer hopes that Belphegor doesn't take his secrecy the wrong way.

He just wanted to be the little brother again.

Belphegor: You are a fool.

He can't help but shot Belphegor a pitying look but she puts up a hand before he could say something.

Belphegor: But so was I when I kept that secret that almost destroyed all of Hell. So was Satan for antagonizing the Son of God on Earth which consequently made them think it was you. So was Asmodeus for making his crystals and allowing illegal travels on the human world. So was Mammon when he tried to sue you for the first time and sent you to one of your self-isolation punishments. So was Leviathan for picking a fight with Lilith when you were already in distress. So was Beelzebub for almost letting you drink yourself to death. And so was Lilith for leaving.

The Sin of Sloth moves in front of him so their knees are touching. Bel had never been a touchy person. Much like Alastor, small gestures of touch are her way of shouting her love for you.

He'll forever be honored to be on the receiving end of those kinds of affection because he knows that those gifts given only to people who they think they deserve.

Belphegor: We're fools and we must learn from it. Was it not you who gave humanity the gift of knowledge? Who gave us life? Who gave us free will? So now you have the free will to choose if you'll remain one.

-----------------------------------------------

I don't know why but I love writing Belphegor so much. It's the way she talks that is just easy to keep writing.

Anyway, continuation of this is tomorrow!

I only wanted a Bel and Luci chapter again, you'll see the rest of the Sins and Charlie again tomorrow!

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!

[dirtybitfic]

COMPANY pt 1

Matt Sturniolo x y/n

contains~ business meeting , fight , slight degrading , little bit of flirting.

y/n pov -

Its currently 4 am and the only reason i'm awake is because my boss called me . I try my best not to fall back asleep as he goes on and on about shit I need to do before todays big meeting. Don't get me wrong I like my job but sometimes my boss drives me insane. I didn't sleep well last night which is not helping the current situation .

*phone call*

Matt - Y/n are you even listening right now

Y/n - Sorry yes mr sturniolo I'm just trying my best to stay awake right now

Matt - Well I will let you go back to bed but you better have things ready when I get to the office am I clear

y/n- yes sir I will have it ready

Matt- Good girl ill see you at 12

Y/n - yep see you in the afternoon

*phone call ends*

I woke back up around 8 and made my way to the office .

I always make it a point to look classy and wear business attire especially when we have big meetings like today. I wear an outfit that I know I look good in but comfortable enough I can sit through 3 hours and write notes for my boss.

I finished up my last task Mr. Sturniolo had giving me on the call earlier and sat at my desk waiting for him to arrive. I've been his assistant for about a year and a half. He's a pretty good boss though he can be harsh and assertive with me at times I try not to take it offensively .I know he just likes things a specific way .

I've been sitting for about 40 minutes when I get call from my boss and I immediately pick it up even though I don't exactly want too

*phone call*

y/n-hey mr sturniolo

matt-hi y/n I just called to tell you that the meeting has been pushed back too 1:30 our clients flight got delayed

y/n- Okay sounds good sir I just finished up the final touches on the presentation and the meeting room is set up and ready

Matt- Atta girl! thank you for getting all that done . Im sorry for calling you at 4 am I know it wasn't the best time

Y/n- Its okay I know you like things done perfectly so im not upset

Matt- Good well I'm parked down stairs and was about to go grab some coffee would you like to come with me?

Y/n- Sure why not ill head down now

Matt- Okay I took the blue convertible today so I have one of the claw clips you left in it a couple weeks ago so your hair doesn't get messed up

Y/n- Oh good thank you

Matt- Of course see you in a couple

Y/n- Yep heading down now bye

*Call ends*

One thing about my boss is he notices the little things most don't for example him knowing I wouldn't want to mess up my hair and keeping the clip in the car just incase I needed it. I know its just a small gesture but it makes me feel some type of way , a way I definitely should not be feeling about my boss. We have a slight age gap given he's 27 and i'm 23 which is yet another reason I should not have the thoughts that I do about him quit often.

I Made my way down to the private parking garage and walked around until I spotted my favorite car Mr Sturniolo owns. Obviously everyone loves a convertible but his is just perfection.

"Hey!" I greet him as I open the door and slide into my seat.

"Hi Good morning " he he greets me with a small smile.

" New suit?" I ask as I look over him noticing i've never seen him wear this suit.

" Yes actually it is" he says with a sigh .

" You don't like it do you?" I ask as I can tell from the sigh and his facial expressions he doesn't seem very excited about it.

" No I hate wearing colored suits but my brother insisted I wear it for todays meeting" he says with an eye roll making me laugh.

" Well for what its worth I think it looks good ... It brings out your eyes" I say smiling over at him.

he return the smile before asking where I want to go for coffee.

I told him to go to Philz so he heads there.

One thing that we do share is music taste so riding around with him is always good. We were listening to "Everlong by the foo fighters" when my phone started to ring.

I look down to see it is my ex who had recently broken up with me . I sigh as I immediately hit decline . He cheated on me for an entire year with a woman who owns a large art gallery and I only found out because I went with matt to buy art for his new penthouse he moved into and saw my boyfriend walking out of her office with lipstick on his face and an untied tie around his neck. Safe to say my boss saw a side of me I wished he never had.

I yelled at him for an hour outside the gallery when he finally broke up with me telling me " I don't love you anymore ... I actually never really did I just liked your body and living with you in your nice ass apartment " so obviously I punched him in the face and he cried like a bitch when I ended up "accidentally" breaking it .

Matt watched the entire thing and safe to say we did not end up buying anything from HER gallery. When we had gotten back to the car Matt had praised me for the way I handled myself and said he was proud of me for breaking his nose .

I felt bad acting how I did in front of him but i'm glad he didn't judge nor fire me for it.

" Zach again" he asks as he pulls into the parking lot giving me his full attention.

" Yes hes been trying to call me all week and I have been ignoring him " I answer as I throw my head back letting out a deep breath.

" They say you never know what you had until its gone . I have known your for a while now and I don't understand why he would cheat on you " he answers in a tone that shows anger and annoyance.

Im glad I have a boss who cares about me outside of work even though some would deem a conversation like this unprofessional it's very normal in our relationship.

"Yeah I don't know either but i'm over it I just want him to leave me alone" I answer ending it with a long sigh and looking over at him.

" Im sorry he's such an ass but we should go in and get our drinks and head back to the office" he answers as turns the car off and unlocks the doors.

I nod as we get out and make our way into Philz and order our drinks Matt always makes it a point to never let me pay which I appreciate but with the amount he pays me i'm very capable of buying my own coffee. I mean shit I live in a 3 bedroom open floor apartment all by myself , Just goes to show I make more than enough money.

We get our drinks and make our way back to the office to get settled in before the meeting.

As we were getting the projector up and running my phone started ringing again . I turn the ringer off and throw it in my bag rolling my eyes. It doesn't go unnoticed by matt when I catch a small smirk runs cross his lips. He doesn't smile too much , I notice that he only really smiles around his family and sometimes me if i'm lucky . He's intimidating which is one reason I was so scared when I first got the job but the thing that kept me going was one day about a month into working for him his mom came into the office and told me that I must be special because he went through 25 interviews before me and he had met me , He was very specific about how he wanted his assistant to act and behave and shockingly I guess that was me. He may have "liked me" but for the first year and a half he was cold and standoffish with me , he would practically ignore me unless he needed me for something or when he would tell me the things that needed to be done for the week.

He finally started warming up to me sometime last year and i'm really glad he did it makes the job 10 times better and enjoyable when he acknowledges and speaks to me .

I sat in my chair by the large windows as I zoned out looking over the city but was snapped out of it when our front desk guy told us through the intercom our clients were on the way up.

This new client we have is actually very exciting . The company that matt owns is a luxury advertisement production company . We make advertisements and plans on ways to promote products and grow the businesses me work with.

Our new client who is on their way up right now is a wine company . Their vineyards are located in the south of France and they have made a new champagne that is flavored with different fruits. They created a new flavor line which is peach, passion fruit , Pear and guava. At first I was skeptical of how well these flavors would taste and if they would really sell or not but after sampling them all I knew they were going to make amazing profit from the new collection.

I sat through thirty minutes of the meeting when my phone continuously rang and vibrated with calls and texts. I knew it was my ex and I started to get fed up so I stopped taking notes so I could just power off my phone.

I grabbed it from my bag with a roll as I saw 6 missed calls and 15 text messages that he had sent in the span of 30 minuets and started powering off my phone .

" You're assistant seems to be more interested in her phone than the importance of this meeting. I must say this is very unprofessional" I hear as my head snaps up and I make eye contact with one of our clients. He glares at me as he scolds me for being on my phone.

" i'm sorry I was just powering it off beca-" I try and explain myself but he immediately cuts me off before I get the chance.

" I don't want to hear any excuses . You need to learn how to respect the people who want to work with your company " he scoffs with a rude eye roll and I cant help the tears that start to fill my eyes.

I look at matt panicking but find him staring at me with an agreed look .

" i'm sorry would you excuse us for a second" matt says as he comes over pulling me out of my chair by my arm and dragging me out o the room.

"I-im sorry I didn't mean to-" I start to say as the tears stream down my face.

" Y/n you need to understand these are very important clients and if this goes right not only I will make a lot of money but so will you . I don't like the way he spoke to you but I will not compromise this deal by saying something to him. So we will take a few minutes for you to calm down and make him think that I set you straight and we will go back in" he says as he places a soft hand on my back soothing me .

I nod " yes sir" I answer as I calm my breathing and look up at him.

We keep eye contact as his eyes seem to grow darker . Something in me stirs as his hand moves up and down slowly on my back at some points getting so low he could grab my ass if he felt inclined too . I hater to say it but his soothing actions are turning me on. Ive always felt a tension between us but I used it aside just telling myself its his cold personality that makes every situation slightly intense .

He moves his hand to my chin holding it and moving my head up to really look at him . He slightly smiles " You calm down?" he asks in a deep voice that for some reason has me clenching my legs together.

"Yes sir i'm sorry for crying I just -"

"I know you don't like being patronized infant of people i've learned that throughout the years you've worked for me . Just be glad your well behaved or you'd really hate me " he says with what sounds like a small chuckle.

" why would I hate you?" I question as I step slightly closer.

"i'm not one to tolerate people misbehaving or defying me . You should know that by now" he answers in a more gravelly voice that has me clenching around nothing .

" right well umm should we go back in " I say in a wavering voice but clear my throat to try and play it off.

He smirks at me but nods his head .

He leads me back to the conference room with a hand on my lower back .

Im moving to open the door but stop when he start whispering to me.

" make it look like I corrected you okay " he whispers before opening the door .

I walk in as I distort my face to make it look as though I am upset and I move quickly to my seat and choose not to even look up at anyone .

I grab my computer and get to typing as matt starts back on the presentation and the clients make their comments and requests .

After about an hour the meeting comes to and end and they decide to go with us for their campaign.

" Me and my wife would like for you to come down to our vineyard in say 4 weeks and shoot promo videos and get photos for the videography does that time frame work for you Mr. Sturniolo?"

the man who blatantly degraded me asks as matt looks to me.

"y/n is the calendar clear that week?" he asks and I pull up his calendar that I schedule and go over it.

" Yes looks like there is only one meeting that week but its with gloria i'm sure we can reschedule it" I answer as I smile at both of them.

"Amazing well my wife is very excited for this campaign . She can be a bit much but what woman isn't right" he says jokingly to matt .

Matt smiles and nods as he leads him out of the office and to the elevator.

I audibly sigh and roll my eyes at his misogynistic comments , safe to say i'm not exactly thrilled ill have to deal with that man on a normal bases but its worth the money so I guess i'll just have to live with it.

Matt comes back in groaning and running his hands through his hair.

" I really do not like that guy" he says making me laugh.

" Trust me neither do I" I say making him chuckle and shake his head.

" He wants us to stay at his estate but I kindly declined . I told him We have many work calls we take and we wouldn't want to be a disruption " he says with a smirk .

I smile widely nodding my head

" Thank god I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house with that man for a day let alone an entire week" I say making him laugh.

" I'll book the hotel so you won't have to worry about that and we'll take the company jet " he says as he grabs his bag and powers off the projector.

" You sure I don't mind dealing with the hotel bookings" I say as I pack up my things as well.

" Yes I have a favorite hotel i've gone too many time there and I know they will give us amazing rooms and the view is amazing" he says as he walks over to me .

" Oh okay" I say smiling up at him.

His hand goes to my jaw like earlier as he moves his thumb softly back and forth .

I lean into the touch as he looks at me deeply like he's studying my soul.

" You did good today I know you're dealing with calls from that asshole and I appreciate you were powering off your phone " he says as he steps him closer to me .

I sigh as I avert my eyes

" Im sorry for causing our client to think of our company as less then because of my actions though" I say still not looking up at him.

" You did nothing wrong you're always a very good girl he's just an asshole who clearly doesn't respect woman"

I blush as I look up at him . His use of the term "good girl" today has gotten me feeling things I shouldn't.

He looks at me as I look up at him .

" If you ever need anything you call me okay . I know i'm your boss but I want you to consider me a friend too " he says as his hand slides down my neck to my shoulder.

His touch leaves goose bumps in its wake which i'm embarrassed about and I can tell he noticed my body reaction by the smirk that grows across his face.

" Yes sir I just wouldn't want to burden you with my problems you have enough to deal with as it is" I answer honestly .

He shakes his head sighing

" Sweetheart you could never be a burden no matter how hard you tried . You're the first assistant i've had for longer than 4 months which can only mean I like you very much and that is rare" he says making me smile .

" Thank you sir I like this job a lot and I hope to keep it for a very long time" I say as I step slightly closer . Our chest are almost flush against each other , im so close I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

" Trust me i'm not letting you go anytime soon " he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me feel such dirty things a literal whimper escapes me .

My eyes widen as I clear my throat and avert my eyes from his.

He grabs my face and turns it to face him again

" Did you just whimper " he asks with a smirk .

" What n-no I was clearing my throat" I say in a panic .

" Are you lying to me y/n " he asks in a teasing tone that almost has be whimpering again.

" No sir " I answer but avoid eye contact.

" Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth" he says in a demanding tone .

I feel as though i'm shrinking into myself as I look up at him .

" Im not lying to you I promise" I say as convincingly as I can.

" You better hope you're telling the truth" he says in a darker deeper voice that has me gulping .

" A-and why is that" I ask as I try and take a step back but bump into the table behind me.

" I don't like liars . Do know what bad lying little girls get y/n " he asks as he steps even closer and i'm forced to sit on the edge of the table as his body is positioned in-between my legs. If anyone where to walk in right now this would be a very compromising position to be in .

" No sir I-i don't" I say .

His entire demeanor changes his large presence now dark and cold as his hand moves to my neck pulling me closer as I gasp in shock.

"They get punished" he kind of growls more than speaks . My mouth opens but no words come out .

He lets go and steps back and goes back to his normal calm demeanor .

I sit in shock as he grabs his bag and starts walking to the door.

"Goodbye y/n see you Tuesday" he says in a kind of sing song tone that has me scoffing. He obviously finds it funny to leave me wet and speechless.

We've never had a moment like that sure we've had weird moments where a little flirting was involved but nothing like what the fuck that just was.

I hop off and grab my bag before rushing down the hall to the elevator . The second I get into my car I scream .

I don't exactly know why I did but it felt great.

I start up my car and put on my nighttime playlist and pull out of the parking garage and pull onto the bright light city roads.

The second I got home I went through all the messages and voicemails from Zach .

15 missed calls from Zach

37 missed texts

all consisting of " call me back" " Im sorry" " I love you so much please" " Fucking bitch answer me" " God your a cunt this is why I cheated on you" and a lot more .

I hate the fact that after listening to three of his voicemails i'm in full tears curled up on my floor in front of my huge floor to ceiling windows.

Im snapped out of my daze when I hear 5 loud bangs on my door . I jump up as my heart pounds . My apartment is the only one on this floor so its not like whoever it is has the wrong apartment .

I slowly make my way to the door when the bangs happen again this time harder .

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR Y/N" I hear Zach's voice from the other side .

I panic even more as I slowly go to open the door . The second I turn the lock the door barely open and a fuming Zach marches his way in.

He comes at me so fast I have no time to react . One hand is wrapped tightly around my neck as the other is grasping my hair so tightly I feel like my scalp is on fire.

" You think you're so fucking cute ignoring me huh don't you " he practically spits in my face.

" You-- cheated on me a-and broke up with me w-why are you mad" I choke on as I gasp for in in his tight hold.

" Don't you dare fucking speak to me like that . I said I was sorry but you just want to be a spoiled fucking bitch and ignore my calls" he bites out as his grip on my hair tightens and I scream out in pain.

" You think you are so perfect don't you good fucking too shoes but your just a pathetic little bitch who's unlovable " he shouts in my face as tears start to steam down my face and I cough as I try and pry his hand from my throat.

" I tried to love you I did but you are just so insufferable to be around you know that god your always so pleasant you never do anything bad you're fucking boring all you do is work and come home and sit around doing nothing like a pathetic little loser " He spits as he shoves me into the wall making me yelp.

His hand connects to my face as his fist hits my eye .

He has never acted like this before let alone hit me .

He immediately lets go and steps away also in shock of what he just did .

" I c-cant believe you actually j-just p-punch-ed m-ee" I say in a gasping panicked voiced.

"I-im sorry y/n I ... I didn't mean to I " he says as he steps further away with fear across his face.

"GET OUT GETH THE FUCK OUT " I scream as I fall to the floor and cry .

he runs out closing the door on his way.

My head is pounding my eyes isn't opening correctly and I haven't gotten off the floor in 2 hours.

My phone starts ringing making me jump but I turn it over to see "Matt Sturniolo(boss)" calling .

I don't answer because of the state i'm in and the last thing I want is my boss knowing wtf just happened .

I get a text

" y/f/m/l/n you better answer your phone this is very important" it reads. Judging by the fact he literally just used my full name I know I have to choice to answer his second call to me.

*phone call*

"H-hello" I say as I sniffle and try to make it sound like i'm not crying and my voice isn't stringed.

" Hey I know its late but the clients from today actually want us to come down Tommorrow and stay until the following Sunday and I already cancelled all the appointments this week that were a conflict so I need you up and ready at 10 am Tommorrow I will pick you up at 10 and well head to the airport" he rambles . I panic not knowing what to do I cant say i'm sick because he'll know thats a lie .

I stay silent as I continue sniffling trying to mask my situation .

" y/n are you there ? " he asks in a slightly worried tone.

"Y-yes its just that ... I can't leave Tommorrow " I say as my voice breaks with the last word.

" What why you obviously don't work Tommorrow so what is wrong?" he asks in more of an interrogational tone .

" I j-just cant okay " I bite back as tears start to stream down my face again.

" Y/n what's wrong are you crying " he asks his tone now soft.

"n-no " I try and say without giving away that i'm lying but obviously fail.

" I can hear you sniffling and your voice is choked up tell me what's wrong" he says in a sweet voice .

I sigh loudly " Zach came by earlier and he ..." I stop myself from finishing my sentence not wanting to tell my boss about the embarrassing events .

" He what y/n" his voice sounding slightly angry now.

" He yelled at me and said really hurtful things and then he ... he punched me " I answer in a squeaky raspy tone.

" HE HIT YOU" matt yells from the other side of the phone

"Y-yes" I say as more tears stream down my face .

"Thats it I'm coming to you is your door unlocked " he ask as I hear keys rattle in the background.

"Wait what n-no don't come here" I say in a panic . I do not want him seeing me like this its for one embarrassing and two he's my boss he shouldn't be coming to my apartment .

" Don't tell me no i'll be down there in 5 minutes that door better be unlocked"

I go to protest but the line goes dead.

As much as I love my apartment it doesn't help that Matt lives in the penthouse at the top floor of the building meaning he has easy access to come and see me if he really wants to hence why hell be down in 5 minutes .

I sit on my floor as I try and at least stop the crying before he gets here.

As i'm sitting calming myself my door opens and in walks matt.

I turn away from the door so he doesn't see my face.

" y/n where are y- why are you on the floor?" his voice rings as steps approach me .

I shrugged but burry my face in my arms .

I feel him sit next to me as his scent fills my nose . I sigh but still don't bring my head up .

" y/n look at me" he says in a soft sweet tone.

"No " I say as I shake my head .

"Y/n please you're safe with me you know that i'm not going to judge you" he says as his large hand soothe up and down on my back .

Im so embarrassed that at my grown age I'm crying infant of my fucking boos.

I lift my head and look at him as a look of anger and pain washes over his face.

" sweetheart" he whispers as he immediately pulls me into his chest cradling me . I feel as though i'm a little girl girl again being rocked back to sleep after a nightmare . I being sobbing in his arms as I choke out all the horrible things Zach called me and said to me.

" You are non of those things. Don't think for a second that what he says is true , You're are amazing , sweet, hard working and strong . He is a crazy ass motherfucker who didn't deserve you in the first place" he says as he rocks me slightly .

I for some reason feel inclined to crawl into his lap and bury my face in his chest . I know this entire situation should not be happening right now but I cant stop myself from doing it.

The thing is he lets me he pulls me closer as he smooths my hair and holds me to his chest tightly .

After god knows how long i've stopped crying and my breathing has become somewhat controlled.

I unbury my head from his chest and look up at him .

He smiles weakly

" My sweet girl" he says as his hand gently runs across my face wiping some tears away . I wince when his hand grazes my eye area.

" where are your pain meds ?" he asks as he runs his hand through my tossed hair .

" My bedside table" I answer in a whispered and exhausted tone.

" Alright come on lets get you upstairs " he says as he picks me up off his lap setting me on the ground and standing up then extending his hand to me , I take it as he pulls me up then follows me up the stairs to where my room is .

he tells me to get into bed as he runs down to the kitchen getting me water and rushing back up .

" which table right or left?" he asks .

I try and remember which one but cant so I just shrugged and answered that I couldn't remember so he goes to the rightsize on first .

He opens it and his mouth pops open as he looks at me .

"w-what are they in there " I ask in confusion as to why he looks shocked .

he just stares as me and slowly shakes his head .

It dawns on me after a couple seconds that that is the one I keep my "personal items in" . My body flys up in bed as I rush to close the drawer .

" Im so sorry I forgot about keeping those in that one I ... god thats so embarrassing.

" I never thought of you as the type to own things like that" he says with a laugh making me groan and hide my face in a pillow.

"Im only messing around with you , i'm not uncomfortable about seeing that its normal" he says as he walks to the other table finding the Advil and pouring out two in his hand .

" Take these to her with the swelling before it gets worse" he says as he walks over to me .

" were seriously just going to breeze over the fact that you ... my boss just say my ... "

" toys yes now take these" he says shoving his hand in my face . I sigh as I take them out of his hand and toe them into my mouth then take the water he had in his hand and swallow them down.

" Now i'm going to help you pack . Where are your suitcases " he says as he start walking around my room searching .

" You're actually joking right there is no way I can go looking like this" I say in a bratty tone . I didn't mean to use that tone its just the way it came out.

" First of all watch your tone but yes you're still coming and it will get better in a day or two and we don't have to start the campaign shooting until Tuesday so we can just stay in until then or when we go out you can just wear sunglasses. Now suitcases where are they?"

I groan but point to the door "hallway closet " I say as I yawn .

He nods and walks to the door opening it and coming back 5 seconds later with two suitcases in hand.

" Okay what do want to pack first pants, shirt ...? " he ask as he sets them out on the couch I have on the wall opposite my bed.

"Well I usually pack pants first "

" Okay where are your pants" he asks looking at me .

" Bottom three rows in the closet" I answer

" Any specific ones you want ?" he asks

" You know what how about you pick 4 pairs and i'll say yes or no " I say as I getting extra comfy in bed .

" Yes ma'am " he says jokingly as he makes his way to my large walk in closet.

He comes out 2 minutes later with 4 pairs in hand.

He holds up the first pair , I nod and he smiles " I really like these ones" he says as he happily packs them in my bag.

Second pair - I happily nod and he packs them.

Third pair - I dead pan as he laughs actually laughs . " You've gotta be kidding those were all the way at the back " I say as I give him a look. " why do you even own these " "They were part of a halloween costume like 2 years ago" he just shakes his head and sets them aside .

Fourth pair - " Matt this is a business trip" I say as a I shake my head no . " I know that sweetheart but we don't have to be in business attire the whole time" " I guess your right okay yes pack those"

"Okay next skirts pick 3 they are hung on the left side along with the dresses pick tow of those" I instruct him as I try and stay awake .

He comes back out with a big smile which i'm finding slightly unsettling given ive never seen him so cheerful before

dress one - " absolutely not"I say. He sighs and sets it aside

Dress two - I smile and nod yes . He neatly packs it

Skirt one - immediate yes

Skirt two - Yes

After 45 more minutes i'm fully packed except for underwear and socks.

"Okay last things are undergarments " he says as he looks at me waiting for to tell him where they are.

" Don't worry about those ill pack those in the morning " I say as I wave him off.

" I have a feeling if I let you do that you'll forget " he says as he tilts his head . I hate to admit but he probably right.

" fine okay top shelf of the drawers on the right wall" I say as my face flushes red. My boss definitely should not be handling my underwear and bras but at this point i'm to tired to care.

"wow these are organized so nicely" I hear him say from inside my closet.

Their's silence for a second before he comes out with a handful of my sets with a smirk on his face.

He sets them on top as well as socks .

"Okay done now shoes " I tell him where the shoes are and he picks all good options so that was easy.

He packs up my makeup and skincare bag putting them in the suitcase with the shoes .

" Okay fully packed and ready to go" he says as he pushes both cases by the door .

"Thank you Sir you really didn't have to do all of this" I say sincerely

" First of all as much as I love you calling me sir when we are outside the office call me matt you calling me sir makes me feel fucking old" he says with a smile.

I choke on air at his beginning comment with makes him chuckle.

" Im grateful I have you as a boss matt"

" Im great full to have you as my assistant y/n "

We both share smiles before he turns on my ceiling fan and comes and sits on the edge of my bed.

" I want you to know I genuinely do care about you y/n not just because you are my assistant but because your all around a great girl " he says as his pulls his hand on my comforter covered leg giving it small shake.

" Thank you matt really I couldn't ask for a better boss" I smile at him with half open eyes.

" I'll let you get some rest and ill take your extra key so you can sleep as long as you can and ill just come down and grab your bags and make sure your up and awake by 10" he says as he pats my leg and stands up.

" You sure I don't mind setting and alarm " I ask .

" Im sure now get some sleep and ill see you in the morning "

"Okay well see you in the morning and thank you again really "

" Of course . Good night y/n "

" Good night matt"

God what the fuck just happened ...

[prinvessdior]

after 8 months I have returned to u, and all I can offer u is vaguely self indulgent blonde lego man 😞 we’re going to also ignore how this was SUPERRR impulsive

sorry for the mostly word vomit of me going crazy but if I did not write at least SOMETHING for this man I think my brain would’ve gone boom still getting back into the swing of things (as always) but please enjoy!

Might’ve been under the influence of a green plant aswell

brief summary: Lloyd breaks down ur window in the middle of the night cuz he wants to watch the stars with you, but you’re the only star in his sky teehee

WC: 850 (ish, tried to get to 1k 😞 didn’t make it)

Tap. Taptaptaptap.

‘nope. better not check that’

Being rudely awakened around midnight wasn’t something most people would appreciate. In the darkness I groaned shifting around in a crumple of sheets and blankets.

sweet silence once again, I blinked back against the darkness of my room. Already awake by the noise, I just got to sleep too. Sighing into the welcome silence. it was probably too early to be alive anyways, eyelids drifting shut once more, lulling me into a peaceful slumber.

Taptaptap THUD.

“GOD- Okay!”

Fumbling, I threw the covers off my body standing on shaky, tired legs as I pushed back my bedhead from my face trying to get some semblance of what was happening anyways.

There were a few more taps at my window as I cautiously made my way towards the haunting item.

‘Okay rationalize first actions second. You live on the second floor so obviously no one is at your window. No plants grow up this high either. Oh what if..’

no that’s silly ghosts aren’t real.

Deciding to give up on rationality, I stepped in front of my window pulling back the curtains quicker than I really should’ve.

“Ah, darkness.”

“Wow, that’s kinda hurtful.”

“OHMY GOD-“

I’d know that voice anywhere, though not at midnight, when my brain is barley working and I’m still reeling in how the hell did my boyfriend get to my second story window.

oh yeah. Ninja. Whatever.

unceremoniously, I threw myself back from the window arms shot in the air not expecting my damn window to respond to me.

“Window god I am sorry for disappointing yo-“

“Can you just let me in please?”

I skipped giddily back over to my window, deciding to ignore my former embarrassment to instead unlock the window for Lloyd, still clad in the green ninja gi, hop down from my windowsill.

“Missed you,” he sighed out dreamily opening his arms to welcome me into a hug. Happily, I extended my own to wrap around his torso as he brought me in close for a much needed hug.

He sat his chin atop my head his arms winding around my waist and resting there comfortably, we stayed like that for awhile. The only noise being the ticking of the clock next to my nightstand and our mixed rising and falling of our chests.

Slowly, I could feel myself falling asleep once again it’d been so so long since I’d seen Lloyd last. Despite how badly I craved to soak up all his attention like a sponge, how warm he was how it felt to be held again by him was too nice.. yeah this is home.

“Are you sleeping standing up?”

“No.”

he laughed, like really laughed the kind where you snort and have to hold a hand up to your mouth to cover the strength of your giggles.

I whined at the loss of his arms falling towards him onto his chest to steal more of his warmth.

“Don’t fall asleep just yet, don’t you wanna go on a ride?” Lloyd asked as he snuck a finger under my chin to tilt my head up to face him, he was smiling. He’s pretty.

“Huh?”

I tilted my head not quite focused on whatever he was saying, he snorted in amusement. “It’s really pretty on the mountain, plus it’s a clear night and we can take a drive up there to stargaze, maybe if-if you want.”

Yep. Totally awake!

I smiled wrapping my arms around Lloyd’s neck especially because of how by the end of his suggestion the tips of his ears turned pink and his pretty green eyes tore away from mine for a moment.

“Yeah, lemme put on better clothes and I’ll meet you.” I nodded pointing down to the pajamas I was still currently wearing, Lloyd’s gaze followed my finger and I had half a mind to curse my half awake brain.

“Oh- yeah Kay.”

He released me with pink cheeks turning his back to me to face the window, I could only giggle at his back and I saw his shoulders sag slightly at that as I made my way to my closet. Well.. these clothes aren’t that bad just a jacket and well, shoes.

“Alright!”

I announced returning dutifully to Lloyd’s side interlocking our fingers together, “Ready?” He asked as he looked down to our joint hands back to my face with a bashful smile.

“Yep! I’ll tell you all about the stars.” I mused dramatically turning to unlock the window with my free hand, though I missed the soft sigh and murmur that passed through Lloyd’s lips as we made our descent.

“Luckily, I have my very own.”

[hyperactive-cowboy]

So that's the second chapter of the landoscar christmas series, I have literally no idea of how to make a link between this chapter and the first one, so if you want to read it then you'll have to search it yourself, but it is my last post so no big problem. You have probably realized it, but I got inspired to write this story by "All I want for Christmas", so the titles of the chapters are part of the lyrics. As always if you have suggestions or there are issues with the story don't be shy kidsss. Oh and if someone can tell me how to make the link I'd be grateful for my life. ENJOYYYY

Make my wish come true

Warnings: like one curse word at the start and one at the end (I don't even know if those are considered curse words), the littlest angst and fluff. Some words are translated with google because english is not my first lenguage. It's not beta read because I don't have the energy to do it right now as I had planned on finishing the series in 2023 but here I am.

Ship: F1 involved!Lando Norris × not F1 involved!Oscar Piastri (established relationship)

Wc: 3.3k

Chapter 1, 2, 3

Summary: Max and Logan help Lando in his little gremlin plan to propose to Oscar during their christmas party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Max's phone rang in the exact moment his dream was at its climax, waking him up without letting him know the finale of it.

Max looked at who was calling at such an hour in the morning.

It was Lando. Then probably it wasn't important.

Max deactivated the sound and left the vibration on, trying to fall asleep again just to see the end of his dream, but the buzzing wouldn't stop.

With a mix of frustration and malcontent for his not-well-started Wednesday morning, Max took the phone and answered his best friend.

"What do you want" he asked abruptly

"'Morning sunshine, I also miss my best friend so much" Lando answered sarcastically and Max could perfectly picture in his head the wide tooth-gaped smile his best friend almost certainly had on his face. 

"It's not a good morning when it starts like this" Max returned. 

Lando, on the other hand, laughed at his friend's distress. Max knew that, sooner or later, he would've killed his best friend.

"Anyways, I'm sorry for your pain, but I've just got an idea" it surely wasn't a good start. Every time Lando said stuff like that, it didn't end well.

"Oh god"

"I want to propose to Oscar"

"OH GOD" 

Suddenly Max was sitting on the bed, totally awake and vigile.

He didn't know what to say. Well actually there were too many things he wanted to say but couldn't choose which one to say first. Between the "when?" The"where?" and the "Why?"s. 

Instead, his mouth (apparently not connected with his brain) deliberately and on its own expressed all his emotions at once.

"What the fuck"

"Yep it was pretty explanatory" 

Neither of them knew how to behave. Obviously some people they both knew have got married before, but neither Lando nor Max have ever experienced a crazy idea like that. 

"So… when?" The moment Max started to metabolize the news, he also began to like it in some weird way. 

He knew the two have been together for some time and (at least for Lando) have also been pining over each other for even longer, so it was logical that one of them would've done the big step in a short time.

"Okay, well, that's my plan…" 

Lando started to explain The Big Plan to his best friend, who was more excited every new sentence he heard. 

Max had known him for so many years and has always thought of him as more immature and childish than other people their age, but he was sure Lando would've made the perfect husband to Oscar.

This train of thoughts continued and extended in every direction that included memories of Lando, the emotions took over him and made his eyes water a bit. But thinking about it, those words were good, he should've taken notes for his best man's speech.

"Let's recap it from the start once again" Max read on his phone. It was at least the 25th time Lando had asked him to repeat The Plan. He was sure he could've acted even other people's parts in the show. 

"Dear god I only have to say yes when he asks me about the party" Max texted back.

"It's not difficult" then he added just to emphasize the pointlessness of Lando's worries.

"Don't you dare make fun of me I'm just anxious, it's normal I guess" Lando's answer arrived in no time

Max smiled to himself shaking his head. Some things never change, he thought while unfolding all the memories with his best friend and rewatching every time Lando acted anxious. There were a few.

"If your calculus are right, he's calling me in ten minutes, so maybe I should get ready to answer him?" Max asked, trying to find an excuse to not leave his friend on seen in this particular situation.

Lando texted just a "yeah you're right" and then left the chat.

Max sighed and closed his phone, just to get his hands on his face and rub his eyes.

"Hey Osc, long time no see" is the sentence Max and Lando have accorded for him to say, and he did it spectacularly. As if he hasn't repeated it for the past twenty minutes without a single stop.

"Yeah it has been a tough period. We were planning a christmas party at our place on wednesday, are you in?" Oscar asked him.

"But isn't Lando away?" He was trying really, really hard not to abruptly laugh and scream at Oscar's ear.

"Yeah, in fact we wanted to do this thing together, but then he was called away and we can't postpone it anymore" Max thought he sounded a little exasperated.

He felt his lungs expand and contract without an order, his cheeks had become red and swollen, in his eyes there were tears for holding it back, but then he couldn't take it anymore. 

Max let out a soft giggle, but that giggle meant to him like the most powerful and exorbitant laughter he had ever had, mostly because he felt (he could literally touch it) the importance of his position in there.

"Yeah I think I'll be there" 

"K, thanks mate" Oscar sounded pretty hesitant with his answer. "And you can come with who you want" he then added.

"Great, thanks. Bye" Max hung up just right before exploding in what he thought was one of the biggest laughs of his life.

He didn't know the cause of this, but that situation was so funny to him. Maybe it was just the stress. Most probably it was just the stress. But why should he be stressed? It wasn't even his proposal. What would have happened when it was HIS time to take the big step? Max didn't even want to think about it for a minute.

He jumped back to reality and immediately opened his and Lando's chat to update him.

Max rang the doorbell of his best friend's house and waited for his best friend's boyfriend (and next-to-be fiance) to open the door.

"Never saw you awake this early" 

Oh right! Oscar's humor was something he could never forget about.

"I'm happy to see you too" Max stated with the biggest smile stamped on his face. He patted the boy's shoulders with both his hands and looked him down, trying to imagine the guy with a different surname (something like Norris) and a different look (a smoking might be ideal, and maybe a golden ring on that finger could be even better).

"Yeah" Oscar mouthed with a raised eyebrow and a confused expression.

 Max entered the house without needing a welcome. He treated it like it was his, he didn't care if the actual owner was okay with it. At least he could say the same happened every time Lando and Oscar were at his place.

"What are you doing here?" 

If there was another person in the room, they could've heard three voices ask the same question at the same time.

"No no no. I asked you first" Logan yelled at Max getting up pretty fast from the couch he was previously lying on.

"Well yes man, but really why are YOU here" he repeated.

"I'm here to help Oscar. And you?"

"I'm too" 

Max and Logan looked at each other with a slightly confused stare, narrowing their gazes and tilting their head to one side or the other.

Oscar cleared his voice behind them and just then he realized he couldn't tell Logan what he was about to. ("Well, actually I'm here to help Lando" would've been his response).

"Max, can I ask you to get away from my home? I already have enough help" The youngest boy looked exhausted. It must be tiring to project an event like this almost alone and with his boyfriend hundred of miles away from him. 

He could not understand, but he surely could pity him.

"I'm very sorry Oscar, but I'm not leaving this house until tonight" 

"Okay then" he looked more exasperated every sentence. 

"Don't worry. This will be the best party you've ever been to" 

"Do I have to remind you this is MY house? Maybe I should be the one preparing it" Oscar pointed out almost ironically.

"We will be better than you, trust me" Logan, who has been silent the entirety of the time, had stepped in the conversation to support him, and Max couldn't be more grateful.

With all due care, Oscar left his house in his friend's hands and headed to work. 

Max and Logan had only six hours and a half to transform that house into a HOUSE.

"So why are you here really?" Logan broke the silence, leaning on the shopping cart as he pushed it.

The two were at the mall searching for cute items and classic christmas stuff to hang here and there in the house to make it look more comfortable.

They have given themselves a specific and perfectly timed list to follow religiously: the times were calculated per second and the both of them had certain works to complete.

"Lando wants to propose Oscar tonight" Max let out.

"LANDO WANTS TO WHAT?'' Logan cried out in the middle of the cheese island, standing up like he was electrocuted and launching three slices of gruyere into the cart.

"SHHH why are you screaming?" Max whisper-yelled at him.

"Oh ya know? It's just my best friend getting married to yours, why aren't YOU screaming?" Logan replied in the same voice tone.

"I've already had my screaming session a week ago" he explained.

Max looked at his clock and calculated there were two minutes of delay in their schedule.

Logan looked around himself in disbelief, pinching his own cheeks to make sure he was not living a dream. 

He looked at Max right in his eyes for the first time in their entire lives. 

"Then we have to make sure we do the best of it" Logan stated resolutely, speeding even more than before, driving his shopping cart like a formula 1 car.

"You go bake the cookies, I'll get the house aesthetically ready" 

Max nodded at his newfound friend and sprinted into the kitchen to prepare all the ingredients he needed.

Right after putting on his freshly-bought apron, his phone started vibrating.

Max boringly looked at the screen and would've even hung up, but noticing Lando's nickname on it, he thought it was preferible answering, after all that work.

He accepted the call and put on the speaker while calling Logan to make him participate at the "meeting".

"Everything's okay?" Lando's altered voice sounded more worried than Max had ever heard him.

He took a moment to appreciate the fact that his best friend was giving this plan all his soul. You could know how much he cared about Oscar (or generally about his loved ones, even if he didn't show it that much) just by hearing his preoccupied voice.

"Yep, we're almost ready" Logan answered, just as joyful as Max.

"Wait, who was that?"

"It's Logan. I know everything and I couldn't agree more with you on this decision" his face was stamped with a smile from ear to ear and his eyes shone brighter than the stars.

"Oh hey Log sorry, didn't know you were there too. Does he suspect anything?"

"There is absolutely no way he could. We were silent as a grave" Max answered, almost kicking his feet like a schoolgirl.

"Well then-" Lando's sentence start was interrupted by a not a little hasty Max, who was sure he was about to scream.

"Now that you have secured yours and our wellbeing, can we finish our work? We have a pretty full agenda to follow" 

"Oh okay then, I'm halfway there anyways" 

"Yeah yeah, you know where I keep my second set of keys" and without another word, he hung up the phone just as fast as they both came back to their respective jobs in the house.

"Hey that chocolate dough looks fantastic" Logan laughed entering the kitchen, looking at a totally covered in chocolate dough Max.

"Where? I thought I cleaned everything" Max responded. 

Logan sighed and continued his laugh, then threw a clean kitchen towel at him, telling him where he was still dirty while taking a seat to taste what they had prepared during the evening.

"It's not that bad" he exclaimed, chewing the biggest bite of cheese and ham toast Max had ever seen.

Logan raised the volume of his phone when he heard the first bits of  "Last Christmas" were playing.

By then, the trust between the two was near to the one in a years-long friendship, after all those hours spent together and a common goal in mind. For this sole reason, Logan felt confident enough to start singing his favorite Christmas song.

Max turned around with a shocked look. Not because Logan's singing skills were terrible, well not only because of this, but because he didn't think Logan was one to start singing around what was a stranger until a few hours before. 

And again his emotions changed, his heart melting a little. Logan singing like this in front of him meant that he trusted him enough to show him his silly side.

Max decided to match his energy and start wiggling his hips and dancing a little around the room.

The two were so lost in the moment they couldn't hear the owner of the house entering firstly the place, and then the kitchen.

"What in the world you two?" Oscar looked totally agape.

 Max and Logan fastly looked at each other and the american jumped between his best friend and his new one to try protecting him from any crazy action the Aussie could have done.

Max and Logan both knew Oscar wasn't one for physical contact, (everybody around him knew it) and because of it they were used to him never touching them. This was why, when they saw him coming this close so fastly, they were scared Oscar was about to stab one or both of them with a random pointy ornament found in the home.

It must've been a particularly shocking period for Max.

First Lando's announcement, then Logan's new friendship, and now a hug from Oscar.

"Thank you for everything" Max and Logan heard Oscar's muffled voice buried in their clothes and both moved a little because of the little gesture.

"That's no problem mate, really" Max assured him.

"C'mon now, there's people arriving here to party" Logan tried to lighten up the mood, receiving the tiniest and cutest laugh from Oscar.

"I don't think it's the worst idea you've had until now" Max whisper-screamed at his phone in his best friend's kitchen while everybody else, including Oscar, in the living room was living their best life.

It was at least the fourth phrase he had heard from Lando about what he thought could be the best starter of his proposal-speech.

"Well, at least not the weirdest" he continued.

"Ehy!" Lando laughed at him, but still his stress wasn't relieved, not even a bit.

Max, for the fiftieth time, didn't know how to act.

Like, what did he have to say? Something funny to let the pressure decrease? Or something meaningful to be That One friend for once?

He decided that saying nothing was the best option. For both, him and his friend. He was, actually, not a hundred percent sure about it, but on the spot he failed to think about anything better.

"I think it's better if I go now" Max admitted after a few moments of silence.

He received a "yeah" as an answer and immediately hung up.

Max was totally sure there were more mature things to do than he, seconds after, did. But, unfortunately, less mature things are usually the more spontaneous ones.

This is why, when his phone turned on again, seeing the new message from Lando and texted him back, the only natural thing to do that came to his mind was to start jumping and giggling, just like a schoolgirl.

He got only one thing not calculated in his mind: the fact that Oscar might be keen on entering his own kitchen for whatever reason. 

So when he turned around to face the exit, he found there on the door an astonished Oscar staring at him.

Max couldn't tell what was open wider: Oscar's eyes or his mouth.

Anyway, he had to think about a not-too-much- suspicious reaction on the spot. And surely he had never been good at thinking on the spot.

That's the reason why the first thing Max did was rebuking him, closing the door on his face.

Just a single moment after he thought that maybe his actions were more suspicious than anything else he could have done. 

With a worried expression folding his eyebrows, Max took his phone from the marble table's surface again and fastly texted to his friend he might have done something wrong.

"I'm here"

This was the message he had been waiting for the entire time, but now that Lando had sent it to him, Max was starting to get agitated again, knowing exactly what it meant.

"Is everything ready?" Was the following text he received, to which he answered with a "gimme 5 mins" 

The only three things he had to do were: inform Logan, inform every other guest and prepare Oscar.

The guests heard the news with surprise and loving eyes, while Logan started to sweat a bit.

Last point on his list was to take Oscar in front of the entrance and then his work would be done perfectly. 

But where the hell was Oscar? He had asked Liam, Max (the other one) and even Niran, but they knew less than him. So he searched in every room of the house, even the bathroom, but when he had knocked on the bathroom door, Logan's voice had answered him.

Max asked his and Lando's long time friend to text the next-to-be fiance and tell him to wait.

He tried to think about what could have happened: Lando would have rang the doorbell and Max would've opened the door instead of Oscar and Lando would've found his best friend instead of the love of his life in front of him (already on one knee and with the ring box open and about to repeat the speech he had been talking about for weeks) and then Lando would've asked him "what the hell?" and then he should have answered him with something like "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but we have lost your future husband, we apologize for the unease" and what could've been Lando's reaction to it all?

Max's morbius thoughts were taking such a part of his brain, he didn't realize Logan had taken Oscar all the way in the living room, just right before entering the entrance.

When Max turned around and saw him, immediately looked at his friend Niran, winking at him as a way to give him the signal for Lando to ring.

All the guests were ready with their phones in their hands, faking sending and receiving messages or searching for something on google. Actually they were all about to flash the lights of their phones to make the atmosphere, using the devices just like in the 70s they used lighters.

Except for Charles: he was the one in charge of recording the video, in fact he had the best position of sight.

Max got out of the kitchen as the doorbell rang and Oscar (in a new outfit) rushed to open the door.

"My guest must've arrived" he announced looking at the young Aussie.

From his point of view, Max couldn't properly see all the scene, so he moved through the tangle of guests to crouch down one step away from Charles.

From there, Max could see everything perfectly: Oscar's (flabbergasted, he might add) expression, the fabulous ring, and most importantly his kneeling best friend and the biggest smile he had ever seen on his face.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials Season 3 - Full Season Thoughts

When I say that I’ve been waiting for this not just for two years since S2 but also for 15-ish years since I read the book, I truly am not exaggerated, I just know that I’m going to be a MESS and bawling at the end of it.

Warning: not only for spoilers under the cut but also because I’m fangirling AND screaming a lot about this series so… yep! Be prepared!

Episode 1: The Enchanted Sleeper

I HAVE MISSED THIS SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH

AMBER SPYGLASS ADAPTATION HERE WE GO 10 YEAR OLD ME IS CRYING SCREAMING SHAKING THROWING UP

Will looking for Lyra 😭❤️

The fact that in her dream-state, the first thing Lyra asked for was Pan, and me knowing what’s coming??? Oh, this season will truly break my damn heart-

ROGER ROGER ROGER 😭😭😭😭

THE TITLE CREDITS CHANGED AND I SAW THE LAND OF THE DEAD AND HARPIES AND ALSO THE MULEFA ASDFGHJKL

DADDY ASRIEL BELACQUA IS BACK ASDFGHJKL

Stelmaria is so bloody beautiful, oh my god, Asriel truly has such a beautiful dæmon

THE GALLIVESPIANS ASDFGHJKL HOLY FUCK EVERYONE ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER

Am admittedly a little disappointed they’re not riding dragonflies or anything

ASRIEL IS WAGING HIS WAR IT’S HAPPENING

I’m so ridiculous, I fangirled seeing Ama because I was like “I REMEMBER HER FROM THE BOOK”

The BSL between Mrs Coulter and Ama omg I was not expecting that but I was literally captivated the entire time they were on-screen, 11/10 choice

Pan weakly asking Mrs Coulter to let them go 😭 also hi Kit Connor, I keep forgetting you’re the voice of Pan in this series

Why is Father Gomez… hot tho 💀

THE GAY ANGELS KISSED THIS IS GOD TIER FUCKING CONTENT GOD FUCKING BLEEEESSSSS

Baruch and Balthamos, yet another reason my heart is going to fucking shatter tonight

Ogunwe’s eldest daughter being “soulless” and Asriel explaining it by explaining his and Stelmaria’s bond and saying what happened to the girl is the same as cutting his dæmon/soul away 😭

Lyra managing to escape but she’s so weak that she didn’t get far and Marisa caught her 😔

The mother-daughter dynamic is so interesting in such a messed up way, like Marisa truly thinks what she’s doing is right and will protect Lyra but also her method of keeping her daughter safe is to drug her and keep her asleep in a cave/hideaway somewhere, truly unstable and unhealthy parenting techniques here

Ama saw her chloroforming Lyra oh my god 😦

IOREK LOOKING FOR LYRA OH MY GOD 😭 HE LOVES HER SO MUCH I LOVE ONE BEAR DAD AND HIS HUMAN DAUGHTER

Will really sliced Iorek’s helmet like it was butter, no wonder Iorek was like “nope I’m not fighting I can’t fight a knife that does that to my armour”

Not Father Gomez sniffing Mrs Coulter’s (?) dress 💀

Oh no no no not the spy fly things being sent after Mrs Coulter, Jesus H-

Marisa telling the monkey to leave her alone and he just doesn’t??? Like he wants to try and comfort her but doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t say anything but she knows what he’s thinking??? Their dynamic is so messed up, I love it

“Welcome to the Republic of Heaven, Commander” CHILLS LITERAL CHILLS

They ended the episode with an “in memory of” for Helen McCrory (the voice of Stelmaria in S1&2) and I nearly started bawling oh my god

Episode 2: The Break

“Nearly 400 years with Baruch must have mellowed me” - OH MY GOD T H E M

“We feel as one, though we are two” - THEY ARE SO…?!? THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ASDFGHJKL

“And you’ll find a way to protect the one you love” - 😭😭😭

SPYFLY?!

I know it’s been three years since the end of S1 aired and obviously the young actors grow fast, but damn is Roger’s voice deeper than when he died

“They’re hurting me” - NOOOOOOOOOO

“Just tell me where you are and I’ll find you!” “... The Land of the Dead” - FUCK ME

Lyra screaming for Roger like that, I feel so sick

Pan’s little ermine noises are so cute omg

“Where did you go? I... I couldn’t follow you there.” (Pan to Lyra) - NOT THE FORESHADOWING, JUST RUN ME THROUGH WITH A KNIFE AT THIS POINT, IT WOULD FUCKING HURT LESS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

QUEEN RUTA SKADI AAAAAAHHHHH

“It would take more than a little crash to put an end to the pair of us” - I swear to fucking god, if this is more foreshadowing-

(it’s been a few years since I read TAS, okay, give me a break if I’ve forgotten anything)

AAAHHHH MARY MALONE I MISSED YOU

Wait did she just walk into Ogunwe’s camp???

“Something happened here a few days ago and now they’re everywhere” - WHAT ARE??? IS IT THE BUZZING???

The way I tensed up seeing Marisa approach Ama jesus christ i do NOT trust that woman

Also Ama’s outfit reminded me of Lyra’s Jordan College outfit from the film, like the red pinafore and blue dress underneath I mean

ROKE??? AND HE MENTIONED LADY SALMAKIA AAAAHHHHHHH

“When is Lyra not in danger?” - LMFAO true though

“You dismiss Lyra too easily” - Exactly, thank you Stelmaria! Was not expecting her to come through for Lyra but I’m pleased!

“Eve was the Mother of Creation, Lyra is simply the creation of Marisa and I. She is not Eve, she’s a little girl” - OOF

“She must have some information they need or some skill we’ve overlooked.” “Other than being able to read the Alethiometer, she has very little, I’m afraid... other than a nose for trouble” - DAMN ALRIGHT CHILL ASRIEL

The way that Stelmaria snarled so angrily at him talking about Lyra like that oh my GOD

“What??? What would you like me to say?” “The truth.” - FUCK YEAH, Stelmaria, call out your human like that!

“There are angels above the camp” - OOH SHIT

“What are they doing?” “They’re fighting” - OH FUCK WAIT I THINK I REMEMBER THIS NO-

I AM NOT READY TO LOSE BARUCH YET NO NO NO NO FU-

“He’s leaving us” — NO FUCK OFF FUCK OFF I FUCKING CANT DO THIS TODAY-

“My Balthamos” - IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS, NEVER, THIS IS TOO PAINFUL

HIS LAST WORD WAS “BALTHAMOS” I AM GOING TO SCREAM

Yes we got gay angels kissing but at what cOST 😭😭😭😭😭😭

BALTHAMOS FEELING IT WHEN BARUCH DIES ASDFGHJKL NO I CANNOT COPE, IM GONNA BE SICK, THIS IS SICK, PHILIP PULLMAN IM HIDING UNDER YOUR BED

“This is your fault… you forced me to come here! I wanted us to stay together, I wanted to go with him! They’ve killed him!” - literally STAB ME, it would hurt FAR less 😭

Father Gomez is so hot but he has a spider dæmon so it’s a hard no from me 🙈

“I once killed an innocent young boy in order to harness it (Dust)” - yeah, and we still haven’t FUCKIN forgiven you 

Not Asriel straight up torturing Alarbus in his Dust experimenting chamber :l though he DID kill Baruch so...

“You think you’re significant - He does not even know your name” - DAMN, what a sick burn

“We have a life in the resistance; we can read, write, learn... all those things are forbidden by the temple, especially for-” “Girls.” - oh damn. It’s obvious that this is a commentary on teachings by the church or whatever, especially how it used to be in the past. (My brain is tired so I can’t do full analysis, but I’m sure other people out there will do it better than me)

The girls wanting Mary to stay “to rest” and then asking her about why she’s looking for the girl while pouring her a drink... feels very ominous to me and I hope I’m wrong

(Spoiler alert: I was wrong)

The Magisterium straight up sending out a death squad to kill Lyra, Jesus Christ it’s almost hilarious how far gone they are that they can’t see why killing a teenage girl is wrong, like mother of sin or not, that is still a teenage girl

Will to Iorek: You attract too much attention - YOU DON’T SAY LMAO HE’S LITERALLY AN ARMOURED BEAR

Of course Balthamos knows sign language, that literally makes so much sense because he’s an angel so of course he’d know literally every language in history - and so of course he appears and translates because she can’t hear Will and he doesn’t sign. I love it

I know only a small amount of BSL but I felt so happy when I was able to read Balthamos signing “W-I-L-L” and Ama finger-signing her own name

“But no mother could possibly be this cruel.” “This mother would.” - DAAAAAAAMN

She’s growing sunroot, which is a waking medicine oh my gOD I love Ama, she is truly an icon in her own right even though she’s only in two episodes

Will smiling a little when he sees Lyra sleeping :’)

THE WAY I JUMPED AT MARISA’S VOICE OMG

“I always suspected that you were coming, but I didn’t think you’d be the first” - oh my god, she KNEW Will would come sooner or later, she knows how much he cares for Lyra

Her offering him tea and my first thought being “do NOT drink anything she gives you, do NOT do it”

“I’m keeping her here because I’m her mother, and I love her” - BITCH, you’re straight up drugging her, mother or not you are NOT showing your love in a healthy way

See, I get that she says she’s trying to keep Lyra safe because she knows the Magisterium want her dead, but like... drugging her? Keeping her there against her will? Ma’am, please-

“Because she hates me, Will, and if I woke her she’d run” - damn I’m not surprised, you’ve not exactly been the most loving of mothers at this point

“Wouldn’t your mother do the same for you? A child needs their mother. You understand that, Will. You need your mother” - oh NO, no, no, do NOT bring up Mrs Perry!!!

“And here’s the trick they never tell you: your mother needs you” - oh she’s a goddamn SNAKE

“You promise that you’re keeping her safe? That you’ll carry on keeping her safe?” - Will, nOOO do NOT leave her there

Oh, she nearly CRAPPED herself when he mentioned going to Asriel

“I have seen them together; where one goes, the other follows” - literally everyone else notices it, they’re really not subtle

“You would use your own daughter as a trap?” - yeah, no, that really doesn’t shock me at this point, the man has no fuckin morals anymore

Oh okay PHEW, Will actually has a plan and isn’t just blindly trusting Marisa, I’m resting a little easier now

“I’m counting my steps - we’ll return by them in another world” - OH SHIT HERE WE GO

Nah, that monkey is STILL giving me the chills, fucking hate that monkey so bad

“Your mind is muddled” - this episode has featured so much Stelmaria calling Asriel out, and that’s content I’m honestly living for

Marisa giving the monkey a massive rock and going “do your worst”... AND THEN SHE LOWERED HER HEAD AND HE SMACKED HER OVER THE HEAD WITH IT WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON I LITERALLY GASPED, like she clearly was telling him to do it but WHYYYYY???

Ama was so ready to go with Will and help him, we have to stan

So now Marisa looks battered and bruised...? I’m guessing she’s got some kind of plan here???

Ohhhh okay, I get her plan now: she looks all beaten up, she tells Gomez that Will has come and taken Lyra, it looks like Will has hurt her when he stole Lyra, Gomez will then hopefully leave thinking that she doesn’t still have Lyra... got it. Bit extreme to have your dæmon beat the shit out of you though

“You know, he had several hundred miles and the boundaries between worlds to cross, and yet... he still managed to get here before you. Bravo.” - LMFAO the shade

“... I am going to take Lyra now, Mrs Coulter” - Oh he didn’t fall for it in the slightest lmao he was like “well, at least you tried”

“you gave her the terrible punishment of her existence” is such a cruel line, jesus christ my dude

He’s not even trying to hide the fact that they want to murder her daughter omg

THE WINDOW IS FORMING ASDFGHJKL WILL IS COMING

Is she trying to distract Gomez so he doesn’t see Will and the knife?!? Is she actually doing something good???

Pan hopping into Will’s coat pocket omg that’s so cute I love it

THAT MONKEY IS FERAL

SHE WHACKED HIM OVER THE HEAD OH MY GOD

“Oh dear… perhaps you were right about that strength” - LMAO she’s so iconic

Not Marisa thinking she’s coming with him and Lyra 💀 I don’t know whether I feel sorry for her or not at this point

“Do you think it’s that easy to dispose of me? Is that what you do, Will? Was your mother as easily disposed of? Where did you leave her?” - ACTUALLY NAH YOU KNOW WHAT, I don’t feel sorry for her at all

His mind isn’t empty enough, she’s distracting him, he’s gonna break the knife 😭😭😭

THE KNIFE BROKE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT DAMN

NOT HER THREATENING WILL WITH A GUN AND LYRA STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM TO PROTECT HIM

AH THE GALLIVESPIAN STINGING HER YESSSSS

The airships shooting at them and Iorek immediately jumping to defend them I’m-

“Iorek’s here?” - YES, HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH 😭

Ama jumping on that soldier and Will killing him before he can kill her I’m-

Asriel really arrived super late to the party, literally all the fighting is over and done with 💀

Ohhhh he’s seen Marisa 👀

Lyra taking Will’s hand as they lie together under the stars 😭❤️

Episode 3: The Intention Craft

I’m gonna try to keep my notes a little bit briefer because it took me two hours to watch a 57 minute episode on episode 2 :’( this is 8 hours worth of tv, it’s currently 00:20 am and we’ve only done two episodes so... yeah

NOT THE SHOT OF THE DÆMON (presumably Pan) ALONE ON A DOCK ASDFGHJKL; YALL THIS IS SICK

“Whatever happens... we’ll be together” - having read the book is both a blessing and a curse because on the one hand I’m somewhat able to prepare myself beforehand but on the other I KNOW how painful this is about to be and I can’t stand it

Oooh Marisa is Asriel’s prisoner :O

I think Asriel is enjoying having her as his prisoner a bit TOO much

The way he was right behind her, so close he was literally breathing on her neck as he tied her up... asdfghjkl;

“You could be standing here beside me, you know” - NOT THE MARISA/ASRIEL FEELS asdfghjkl

*taking her necklace in hand* “still wear this?” - ASDFGHJKL did he give that to her?? Or is it just one of those “oh you still wear this?” things???

“How could you and I have produced another Eve?” - no but same, I’m still wondering that lmfao

Not him calling Lyra a “wretched girl” and acting like it’s her fault Marisa turned up to whisk her away?!

Did they collar and chain up her monkey dæmon too??? Damn, he knows her well lmao

“You seem different.” “So do you.” “...you’re staring.” - oh my gOD

Not Salmakia spying on them :’) “I haven’t been hiding, you just haven’t been looking” LMAO

“How do I know you won’t cut into another world?” - umm because the knife’s broken??? It ain’t cutting shit right now

Ahhh she’s got her Alethiometer back! All is right with the world :3

“Since he’s died, I’ve done none of the things he’s asked me to do” - awww Will :(

Are we gonna meet the Mulefa this episode? The next one? :O

“Because Roger’s dead body was in a cage! In a cage that he made, he killed him!” - when she puts it like that, I’m not shocked she wants nothing to do with Asriel anymore, damn

“to work alongside a murderer?!” - 1) Will is a murderer? 2) The reason she trusted Will was because the Alethiometer told her he was a murderer?? But I get what she means

I don’t like when Will and Lyra argue :( 

“Lyra is pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to do.” “Oh, she is her mother’s daughter!” “You don’t trust her?” “She’s also mine.” - LMFAO TRUE ENOUGH

The device Asriel is using to communicate with Salmakia with is so cool omg

Father MacPhail really just sitting there in the dark all like “where have you gone??” I think he’s losing it a little

RED PANDA PAN AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

“You’re not always right, you know that?” - LMAO I love Lyra and Pan so much

“Your father was right about you - you are insufferable” - OOF DAMN

NOT THEM LEADING THE MONKEY ON A CHAIN LIKE A DOG 

At least they gave her new clothes I guess?

“I have been the worst mother in the world” - NO SHIT

“I didn’t think of her for years - and if I did, it was only to regret the embarrassment of her birth, the humiliation-” “Ridiculous! I have never understood why a child born of our love should be a humiliation!” “An illegitimate child and a murdered husband! That is quite something to carry on my back” -- Damn, this trial literally just became a couple’s counselling session for Marisa and Asriel??? And Asriel straight up admitting he loved her??? That they loved each other??? 

I will not ship them, I will NOT ship them, I WILL NOT-

“What if Iorek’s not there?” “He wouldn’t leave without me” - AND WE ALL KNOW IT ASDFGHJKL

“I know it wasn’t real, but once or twice I woke up and she was holding me... never been held before” - I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE-

IOREK AND LYRA REUNITING, HER HUGGING HIM IM SOBBING ACTUALLY I LOVE ONE GIRL AND ONE BEAR-

There’s something very special to me about Lyra sitting against Iorek’s flank, I can’t explain how soft it is

“Huh, still a Silvertongue” - asdfghjkl; he’s the one who gave her that name, it’s literally a title he bestowed on her, I love it :’)

Oh no, is Dr Cooper the one from Bolvanger??? Am I remembering correctly???

“Ah yes... you always were easily impressed by what he made” - DAMN I should NOT have cackled like I did

I can’t get over how charged the scenes between Asriel and Marisa are, my goodness-

“The inventor of hideous machines, capable of tearing children apart” - you’re one to talk, remember what you did to Roger????

“But along comes some foul mouthed arrogant little brat with dirt under her fingernails, and ohhh you can love her! You cluck and you settle your feathers over her like a mother hen-” - JESUS I’M-...?!?

The way he slammed her up against the intention craft after she spat at him, his hand on her face... I thought they were gonna kiss, holy SHIT

“Every hideous thing that you’ve done in his name... and it was all a lie” - DAMN, this episode is cutting so deep in all the best ways

It’s the way I know what’s going to happen, I know the knife is fixed, and yet I’m still nervous

“Find what matters!” *glances to Lyra* - oh they are NOT slick, they’re so obvious about this and I’m all for it

Imagine being Will and waking up to see a massive looming bear standing over you, omfg

YAY, the knife is fixed! (I knew it would be but still) I love that it looks more twisted, at least in my opinion

“You will always be a welcome visitor to Svalbard, and the same is true to you, Will. You are worthy of each other. Goodbye, Lyra Silvertongue - I hope we do meet again one day.” - NOT ME CRYING OVER AN ARMOURED BEAR’S RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL

Now why is Asriel showing the prisoner angel to Marisa, no good will come of this-?

“He’s beautiful.” “Everyone’s beautiful.” - this plus the way he keeps leaning and shit around her... at this point, everything Asriel has done this episode just straight up seems like him flirting with Marisa lmao

Eyyyy Balthamos is back!!!

Balthamos: so, you ready to go to Asriel yet? // Will: LOL sorry nope 

And just as soon as he was back, he went away again :O

“my mum’s always said if a friend needs help, you should give it” - Will Parry is his mother’s son through and through :’)

“That no doubt depends.” “On what?” “What Asriel does to him.” - oh god he’s gonna fucking kill that angel and cause more chaos, I can feel it

NOT ASRIEL AND MARISA TEAMING UP TO TORTURE THE ANGEL AND DESTROY HIM

Damn even Marisa looks kinda freaked out by Asriel torturing the fucking angel oh my god

LMAO SHE RAN SO FAST TO THE INTENTION CRAFT 

“Goodbye Asriel” should NOT have hit me so hard, oh my goodness

Yeah, no, I don’t think the knife can cut through to the land of the dead? Which makes sense all things considered

OH, the last world he could cut to before the land of the dead is the desert wasteland one from Lyra’s dreams! :O

Pan like “wait, this doesn’t feel safe” and backing away whimpering :’(

IS THE SAD THING GONNA HAPPEN NEXT EPISODE NO NO NO I CANT HANDLE IT

I thought we’d have until like episode 6 or something :’(

Episode 4: Lyra and Her Death

Judging from the title of this episode... FUCK I AM NOT READY WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE AT THIS POINT ALREADY

(If it’s not this episode then it’ll probably be the next one, either way I’m not READY)

Pan: *whimpering* // Lyra: Pan, stop that - :’(

“Then where are everyone’s dæmons?” “We’ve been in plenty of worlds without dæmons before, just get in my pocket and we’ll be fine.” “There are people here who should have dæmons but don’t.” - PAN IS GONNA MAKE ME SOB THIS EPISODE ASDFGHJKL

Not Marisa running straight back to the Magisterium jesus christ girl why

“Good. This is good.” - NO IT FUCKING ISN’T LYRA

“How long do we wait?” “Until you die, of course!” - well, I mean, it IS the land of the dead so...

I genuinely cannot tell what is going on in Gomez’s head at this point O_o he’s so creepy

“Somewhere out there is a tempter, a serpent, and I had to keep them from meeting” - but here’s the thing: the angel told Mary that she was to play the role of serpent, and she and Lyra have already met. But also, Marisa maybe thinks the serpent is Will, which adds a whole new layer to this whole situation???

“And the way he (Asriel) is fighting, Hugh... it’s is terrifying” - oh look, me and Marisa agree on something for once!

“Sometimes your devotion is hard to read” - lmao true

“You have my mind, my body, and my soul (...) He could never resist temptation, whereas you... your abstinence is magnificent” - exCUSE ME WHAT MARISA????

I deadass thought he was about to try and force himself on her then

“Remember what we did together... our lives are entwined” - UMMMM??? I’m not the only one reading into that in a slightly sexual way, right??

Who knew that the waiting area in the land of the dead was like your everyday doctor’s waiting room, complete with grating elevator music??

I both want to know what’s in the chest Gomez gave Marisa and I also do not want to know O_o “it’s how we found you, a kind gift”?

Is there some generational mother-daughter trauma theme going on here or...? Because she said “mother” and he said “she was only too happy to help”, and her response was “of course she was”?

Is Mary in the Mulefa world right now???

“Feels like we’re in a horror film.” “... Why would you want to watch a film that makes you feel horrible?” “...You make a good point.” “I like the film with the bear.” - ASDFGHJKL, THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION XD Also the reference back to S2 where they were watching Paddington omg

“Everyone has a Death. Goes everywhere with them, all their life long.” (Lyra: Isn’t that scary?) (Larissa(?): Not at all, dear. It’s natural) “From the moment you’re born... your Death comes into the world with you. And it’s your Death that takes you out. There’s love in that.” - Pan’s little face :’(

“When you’re ready, they say it’s beautiful. Your Death says, ‘easy now, easy child, you come along with me’. And you go with them, to the boat and the boatman.” - not me getting emotional over the talk of death, fuck me-

Pan retreating back into Lyra’s pocket sadly, like he KNOWS he won’t be allowed to go with them, I hate it here-

DAMN, Marisa slaying in that purple dress with heels, holy shit-

“If you won’t stop...” “You’ll do what, exactly?” *dramatic music stops* “... I’ll fetch support.” “Good. We all need support.” - BAHAHAHAAHAHA This show is a fucking comedy at times oh my god

The fact that any part of the dæmon guillotine design is being reused is horrendous, let alone as a fuckin BOMB

“*casually* Oh. They’re here for me.” - LMAO

“Wait: can we talk about this?” - Will asking the REAL questions here omg let’s not do this please

Lyra: You were on my side. // Pan:... I thought I was by your side.” - STOP RIGHT NOW FUCK YOU

Lyra’s Death is there?!?! And she’s just leaving Will?!

Pan running after Lyra as she walks with her Death, I’m about to sob

Not them taking a lock of Lyra’s hair from Marisa while she sleeps??? And her sending Roke after Gomez, she was pretending to be asleep asdfghjkl

They’re using the lock of Lyra’s hair that Marisa has kept to aim the bomb at Lyra?!? Jesus fucking Christ, and they still think they’re the good guys here???

“I’m always here. I’ve followed you your entire life. I am a special devoted friend who’s been beside you every moment of your life. Who knows you better than anyone. Who knows you better than even you know yourself.” - oh shit

Also Pan being like “that’s not true!”, like he’s so offended by her Death saying that when he’s right there

If I remember correctly, wasn’t Lyra’s Death male in the book? Or...?

“I don’t want to be exceptional. Maybe once I did. My parents... that’s all they care about. I just want to be good. I just want to help someone, and Roger needs me... and I wasn’t there the last time he needed me.” - oh my heart is hurting so bad right now because in S1E02 I’m pretty sure she said to Pan that no one ever thought they’d be exceptional etc, and also the fact she still feels guilt for Roger’s death :’(

I’ve spent 15 years trying to imagine what a mulefa looks like... and now finally I know! Oh my goodness?!?! And it brought Mary food?!?

“You take me into the BEST places, you know that?” - LMAO Will’s so funny when he wants to be

“What else is there left to do?” Oh, I don’t know, Doctor Cooper, maybe NOT make a fricking bomb??? Also eyyyy Roke stung her!

“Arrogance. Sheer arrogance. I underestimated them” - yeah, no kidding, Marisa

Oof Marisa’s on a damn warpath, she’s gonna destroy the Magisterium and I’m so here for it

“What if we don’t come back?” “Then we’ll have died doing something important” - I’m way too emotional for this episode, I’m already losing my mind and emotions and I know it’s just going to get worse and worse :’(

Marisa calling out MacPhail as a sinner oh this is delicious the tea is so delicious today

“You have no right here; you are a wanton woman who has always wanted what she didn’t have. Your husband was killed by your lover, the heretic Asriel, and your illegitimate child was abandoned until she became sin itself.” - OH DAMN

“You will address me as Father President or Your Grace” - damn, man is on a freaking power trip?!?!

“I’m sorry? This is where your loyalty lies? Not with that above? Not with truth but with power?” - Marisa is spilling ALL the truth today oh my lord she did not come to play around

“This is all you really are: an incoherent, emotional woman. Why should anyone trust you? You can barely string a sentence together” - OH YOU LIL BITCH I’M ABOUT TO THROW THESE HANDS

He took her locket?!? 

“And when we sever your dæmon, you will be the bullet to kill Lyra Belacqua and to save us all from sin” - on the one hand, isn’t it ironic that her own dæmon severing technology is about to be used on her? But on the other, this man is one cruel motherfucker and I’m raging right now, FUCK this dude

“Take her to the cells... and bring her dæmon to me” - nah man, I’m about to be sick, fuck these motherfuckers. Fucking MEN, AM I RIGHT

Oh no. Oh no no no we’re at the docks and Pan is whimpering already I’m not strong enough today for this-

“I’m sorry, one of your party is unsuitable for travel at this time” - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-

“We have to follow the rules. A pain, but necessary. No passage. Not for him.” “But he is me.” “If you come, he must stay.” “I don’t think you understand, if we separate we die.” “But isn’t that what you want?” - I’m really about to be crying at 2:30am over Lyra and Pan again aren’t I????

Pan running away because he knows Lyra will follow and he thinks it will stop it from happening, my HEART

“No, that’s not right, I don’t leave part of myself behind, why should she?” “Yes, you do, absolutely, you do. It’s her misfortune - or luck - to be able to see and talk to the part she must leave. You will not know until you are in the water, and by that time fortunately - or unfortunately - it will be too late for you to do anything about it. But you must all leave that part of yourselves here.” - NO NO NO NO NO I’m just going to keep chanting it until it stops fUCK

“We’re gonna get on the boat. Don’t worry.” “Lyra, you’re not listening to him, he won’t let us.” - AND LYRA BRINGING PAN ON THE BOAT TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM :’(((( she even tries to pull the thing herself but she can’t, I’m siCK-

“We can’t separate... we can’t...” :( :( 

“I’ve taken millions across... none have come back.” “We will. You don’t know Lyra and you don’t know me, but we’ll find a way. Another way. So since we’re doing that, be kind, boatman. Let her take her dæmon.” - Will trying so hard to get them to take Pan, even brandishing the knife, but it’s not happening asdfghjkl

“How many ages do you think I’ve been ferrying people? Do you think if anything could hurt me, it wouldn’t have happened already? You think the people I carry come with me gladly?! No, they struggle, they cry, they bribe, they threaten, they fight! Nothing works!” - :(

The entirety of the Lyra and Pan exchange had me outloud sobbing, clutching my chest in pain, I’ve got to share it all with you...

Lyra: I don’t want you leave you here.

Pan: We can still turn around.

Lyra: But I can’t not do this.

Pan: You can, Lyra.

Lyra: What about Roger? And Sal? They never got a chance to grow up.

Pan: But it’s not Roger and Sal, is it? Roger’s dead, and Sal is gone! And it won’t be Lyra and Pan, you’re leave me here, alone! What will I do?

Lyra: But our dreams…

Pan: I didn’t have those dreams! They were your dreams, I didn’t even want to come here! This is your choice!

Lyra: But we’re together…

Pan: Not if you do this.

Lyra: Please… I can’t betray Roger. It’s my fault he’s dead and now he needs me.

Pan: I need you too! Why can’t you see that? … Where will I go?

Lyra: I’ll find you… okay? I will go to the Land of the Dead and I’ll come back, and I’ll find you. I’m not leaving you… ‘Kay? I’m not leaving you, not forever. Will and me will find a way out of here, and we’ll go to Asriel’s, somehow you’ve got to get there too, but I have to do this.

Pan:… Then you’ve made up your mind. You’ve chosen Roger over me.

Lyra: No, Pan… please don’t, don’t… please… there’s no other way. I’ve got to… I love you.

Pan:… Just… go.

The way Lyra turned her head to watch him, the way Pan came up to the very edge of the dock and started crying, the two of them watching each other as they drifted further and further apart, the soundtrack... I am a fucking MESS

“My heart...” 😭💔

Lyra’s pained screams oh my GOD and Will holding her I’m not OKAY

Episode 5: No Way Out

My heart is already broken from last episode, I don’t know how much worse I can feel at this point 😭

Oh good, we’re starting with mulefa hijinks! (Sort of)

Mary stopping and having a moment of “what am I doing?… following a talking elephant” 🤣

IT SKATING AROUND ON PODS ASDFGHJKL

Lyra and Will: *having literally the worst times of their lives* // Mary: *playing with the Mulefa and living her best life*

The Mulefa having their own language oh my god and the orange subtitles fading to the white English ones omg because she’s learning their language

Baby Mulefa 😭❤️

Oof we’re right back to pain 🤡

“What does it feel like, being this far away from him? From Pan?” “It’s like an iron hand is gripped around my heart and is yanking it out between my ribs.” “And it’s mental too, right? As if some private secret thing’s been dragged out into the open?” “…yeah.” — 😭

“You know, you always said I must have a dæmon and I never believed you… and now it feels like I’ve known her my whole life. Maybe she’s with Pan now.” - ASDFGHJKL KIRJAVA IS COMING IM-

“Wait. If my dæmon’s still at the jetty, can you give him a message?” “I can tell you now, he won’t be.” 😭😭😭😭

Oooh Land of the Dead here we go!

I’m still curious as to why exactly Marisa and the monkey can separate so far? Have they already been intercised or something? Like they can REALLY go far from each other 🤔

“They intend to sever you from your dæmon!” “… Good.” — EXCUSE ME MARISA???? She really hates the little thing doesn’t she, damn

“It’s not made of rock… it’s made of people’s things” - oh damn

Oh my gosh the dead 😭

“They don’t like it if we talk to each other.” “Who don’t?” - OH SHIT THE HARPIES

The little dead children talking about their dæmons 😭 “Mine was called Sandling. He used to think he’d be a bird, but I hoped he wouldn’t because I liked him all furry.” “My Kasta used to curl up in my hand and go to sleep.” “Mine was called Matapan” 😭😭

Not MacPhail going to touch the monkey but being interrupted by Father Gomez schooling him on how it’s forbidden 💀

HE JUST SLAPPED GOMEZ OMG

Nooo not her losing Will

NOT HER THINKING SHE SEES PAN NOOO ITS NOT REAL

“You left me on the jetty to die (…) I’ve always known deep down how selfish you are. You really believe you’re here for Roger - you already killed him. You came here for you, to assuage your guilt, to play the hero” - 😭😭😭😭 I know it’s not really Pan but still my heART

ROGER 😭💔

“I missed you. I’m so sorry, about everything. I should have let you go with the Gyptians and the kids… I shouldn’t have taken you to Asriel. If I’d have let you go, you wouldn’t be here, would you? You’d be…” “It wasn’t your fault. I wanted to go with you.” — 😭 my heart is a literal mess I’m blubbering

“Stop it! You think I want to go back to the real world? Like this?” - oh Roger…

Will not being able to cut a window out and it sounding like the knife is being grated over rock 😳

NOT THE HARPIES THIS IS NIGHTMARE FUEL IM-

“What kind of son abandons his own mother?” - SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-

“You have destroyed the lives of everyone you’ve ever cared for… you’ve come here for you, to feel special… if only Will had never met you” - I would very much like to go back to Jordan College and rooftop adventures now thanks-

“I thought about us, and everything we’ve been through… I didn’t let them get into my head” 😭❤️💔

Not Fra Pavel deducing that Mary is the serpent and she’s in another world, and now Gomez is going to go after her 💀

Oh damn, the imagery of the snake and Eve painting(?) in the background as Gomez prepares himself

I SAW A GLIMPSE OF AMBER IS IT- IS IT TIME FOR THE SPYGLASS

MARY IS MAKING THE SPYGLASS THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD COMING TOGETHER

Oh. My. God. The view through the lens of Dust… ‘Sraf’ is Dust… oh my god. This is beautiful. The colours are beautiful.

“The trees are dying.” “And so are we.” 😭

“What do you remember about Jordan? You remember it, don’t you?” “… Jordan’s gone.” - stop that right nOW

Not the flashback to the very first episode of them in the cellar drinking Tokay 😭

The light appearing as they remember Jordan College together, talking about the roof and the rook with the broken leg 😭❤️ and all the dead people coming to listen, I’m gonna start bawling all over again

Lyra and Will speaking to the crowd and promising to try to get them out of this horrible world, rallying them 😭

“What will happen to us if we leave?” “I don’t know.” “You don’t know? If I will or won’t be able to see my son again?” “We can’t know until it happens - I’m not gonna lie or pretend. But in here, it’s just thoughts; out there, real things matter.”

“When we were alive, they told us that when we died, we’d go to Heaven. That’s why so many of us gave our lives, and spent years in prayer and silence, and all the joy of life went to waste around us. I don’t care what happens to us when we leave - anything is better than this.” - damn, this series really said fuck religion and fuck the church making people spend their lives in servitude/repenting for sins they haven’t even done

Damn, the harpies are NOT happy

“Will you tell us some stories? So we can remember too? Real things.” Ohh no, no, I will not cry over this, I will not cry over Lyra and Roger talking about Jordan College-

“I won every time.” “No she didn’t, she cheated every time” - yep, sounds like Lyra to me

Lyra recounting how she made the omelette with the shells in for Will 🤣

Lyra talking about Iorek 😭❤️

I have absolutely no love for that blasted monkey but seeing him all sad in the cage as they’re about to be severed… definitely made me feel sad, can’t believe I feel sorry for him

It looks like Marisa’s been strapped to an electric chair, like she’s about to be executed, and the imagery of that is 👌🏻

“When we created this technology together, you believed you were doing the right thing - we all did. But we were wrong. It has to stop.” - Damn, you don’t say! Of course it was wrong to sever children, glad you see that finally-

“Do not explain my own technology to me.” - OOF

“You still have time to repent - let me give you your final blessing” - MAN DO NOT FUCKIN TOUCH HER YOU FREAK

“Keep your hands off me… there’s too much blood on them for that.” - DAMN, MARISA

Everyone listening to Lyra’s stories 😭❤️

“… But you felt safe with Mr Scoresby. He was the first grown up I ever trusted.” - STOP THAT RIGHT NOW IM ALREADY CRYING I DONT NEED TO CRY AGAIN

“I will come with you. We… We will come with you.” - YESSSS

HOLY FUCK THE HARPY DESIGN IS SICKENINGLY HORRIFYING DEAR GOD AND THE WAY IT WENT RIGHT UP TO LYRA’S FACE

“What’s your name? You must have one.” “… No-Name.” - Oh gosh I think I remember more of the book now hang on

LEE SCORESBY AHHHHHHHH

LEE AND LYRA HUGGING 😭❤️ MY HEART I CANNOT BEAR THIS

LYRA DIDNT KNOW LEE DIED 😭 and he thought she was dead but he was so relieved she wasn’t 😭

“You found the Knife Bearer - you beat the shaman to it. Lyra Silvertongue, just when I thought you couldn’t blow my little mind enough times” - 😭❤️ I missed Lee so much ASDFGHJKL

IS THAT METATRON??? ENOCH??? OH MY GODDDDD

“If she had only stayed with us, and given her life to the Authority as she once intended, she would now be on the path to the kingdom” - oh my god MacPhail shut the fuck UP

Come on rOKE HURRY UP AND SAVE HER

NOT THE INTERCISION MACHINE V2 AND THE MONKEY LOOKING SCARED

Dr Cooper having second thoughts omg

SHE STOPPED IT LAST MINUTE OH GOD THE GASP I LET OUT

“… I will not be a part of this (…) I will not hurt her.” - YES DOCTOR DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE

FATHER MACPHAIL STRAIGHT UP MURDERED DR COOPER HOLY SHIT-

The Church REALLY are not coming across well here

NO NOT ROKE LEAVE HIM ALONE

KILL HIM MARISA KILL THAT BASTARD RELIGIOUS MAN

OKAY BUT YES ALSO TURN OFF THE MACHINE PLEASE DESTROY IT IF YOU CAN I CANT BREATHE THIS IS TOO TENSE

FATHER MACPHAIL COMMITTING SUICIDE AND SACRIFICING HIMSELF HES FUCKING INSANE IM SORRY THE HATRED HE HAS FOR LYRA IS THAT STRONG???

Thank FUCK she stopped the machine last minute although I kinda wish MacPhail had died lmao

THE LIGHT HOLY CRAP-

“You think Dust can make you Gods… let use see how you fare without it.” - OH SHIT OH SHIT

THE MACHINE SEVERED MACPHAIL AND HIS DAEMON AND SHE DISAPPEARED

NOOOOO NOT THE BOMB NOT THE BOMB TELL ME THAT AINT THE BOMB-

I know she’s not dead, I’ve read the book, plus there’s still 3 episodes left, I’m still freaking out though

Episode 6: The Abyss

Three more episodes and then it’s all over 😭 I don’t know if I’m ready for it to be honest

“In the beginning, Man was given the gift of Dust. It ignited his mind and freed his will. But that free will has corrupted mankind. Dust shall be drawn into eternal darkness once more… That which was given shall be taken away.” - oh my gOD what a narration to start an episode Jesus Christ (pardon the pun)

Marisa dragging herself across the floor to get to Lyra’s hair???

Please tell me Roke isn’t dead 😭 (spoiler: he is)

Marisa going to Fra Pavel with the hair and asking him to consult the Alethiometer on whether or not Lyra survived 😭

I still get chills at the opening theme, ngl, like we’re three whole series in and I’m STILL feeling chills seeing the opening credits

Eyyyy Serafina Pekkala!!!

The earth is literally crumbling apart and Asriel’s laughing 🫢

MARISA AND THE MONKEY ARE BACK AT ASRIEL’S

Stelmaria just being like “… It’s her”, as if there’s only one “her”

“She’s dead, Asriel. Lyra is dead.” - NOOOOOO OH NO NO NO

Nahh Asriel is so unbothered about Lyra being dead???

“Would you like me to tell you how your daughter died, or would you prefer to keep tinkering with your toys?” “If what you’re saying is true, I’m very sorry. But what I’m doing here is of the utmost importance - it’s going to change everything.” - DUDE YOUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD (or so it’s thought at the moment) HOW ARE YOU SO UNBOTHERED

Like we knew he was a shit father but YIKES

Marisa straight up telling Asriel it’s his fault their daughter is dead because he pissed off Metatron with his war crime, she disabled the bomb but the light triggered it… DAMN. Just… damn.

“You’ve taken my daughter from me… and I will never forgive you.” - ☹️😔

Roger trying to wake Lyra up 😭 thankfully she does wake but still-

Stelmaria telling Asriel he shouldn’t go down there, it’s reckless… Mate, listen to your fucking dæmon once in a while please, she got all the sense the two of you possess and you’ve got none I fear-

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO RUTA’S DÆMON HE DROPPED LIKE A STONE INTO THE ABYSS (the one where Asriel is)

“He can’t hear me…” “Stay with him” “I can’t stop him, the darkness is drawing him in…” - NO NO NO NO

Noooo SERGEI (her dæmon) DIED AND SO DID RUTA FUCK SAKE MAN

Lyra and Lee hugging again because they’re so happy to see each other okay 😭❤️ truly a better father to her than her own one ever was

Is there an abyss in each of the worlds? 🤔 because there’s one in the land of the dead too as well as where Asriel is

Will panicking because he’s scared he won’t be able to get these people out, and Lyra taking his face in her hands, “Look at me, look at me, look at me… it’s fine. We’re going to get out of here. It’s just… this chasm. I can feel it too. Look at me.” 😭

Lee whooping when Lyra jumped that chasm, we love a proud father!

Roger and Will disagreeing over who should go next and Lee just doing it instead 😂

“I am Serafina Pekkala, Queen of the Lake Enara clan, and I demand to know what happened to my sister” - YES WITCH QUEEN 👑

“It pains me to tell you both that what happened to Ruta was not death, but worse again. That abyss out there is a rupture in the multiverse, sucking all Dust deep down inside the void between the worlds. I bore witness to her dæmon Sergei falling inside… and it is my belief, that no being, flesh or Dust, will ever emerge from its darkness.” “… so there will be no peace for her? Part of her soul, forever falling… forever in limbo…” — NOPE, NO, NOOO 😭💔 poor Ruta I hate it here

(Turning to Asriel) “… You did this.” “No.” “Your arrogance, PLAYING WITH FORCES YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF!” - SHIT SHES RIGHT THOUGH

Sorry, what the FUCK are those things beneath them with the glowing eyes???

“We’ve seen worse. Do you remember when we freed the kids from Bolvanger? And then the three of us and Iorek squashed into Lee’s balloon and just flew away?” - lmao bless

“Iorek’s this armoured bear-.” “I know who he is, I’ve met him.” - damn, there’s some tension here between Roger and Will? Or is it just me?

“Can’t imagine him (Iorek) in a balloon though” - LMFAO

“It wasn’t just any balloon… it was a real beauty” - DAMN RIGHT IT WAS LEE

Is Will a little jealous of Lyra and Roger walking together and reminiscing or…???

“Hey, did I ever tell you about the crazy shaman who made me a bacon sandwich?” - OH MY GOD LEE 😂 (also it’s been a while since S2, but I think he’s talking about John Parry???)

Marisa really thinks she’s allowed to just leave 💀

Marisa telling Ogunwe that Lyra is dead, and him saying “Asriel didn’t tell me”, it hits hard because he has daughters of his own and I just know he’s probably confused because surely Asriel would have mentioned his own child dying but nOPE

Marisa yelling at the monkey to come and he just… doesn’t? He just walks away? Their dynamic is so interesting but in a messed up way

Will is looking for his father and he wants to be sure that his father will find his way out 😭

Lee realising that Will is the shaman’s son oh my GOD?!? And he thinks he has a way to summon him??? Oh I love Lee so much

“Are you sure about this?” - Stelmaria asking the only real questions

IOREK!!! 🐻‍❄️

IOREK STRAIGHT UP SMACKING ASRIEL DOWN WHEN HE APPROACHED LMFAO I LOVE HIM

Wait this is SVALBARD??? All the ice and snow has disappeared?!? And it’s all Asriel’s fault?!?

“My bears starve because you blew a hole in the sky!” - oh shit!

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t KILL YOU!” “LYRA SILVERTONGUE!” “Why do you speak to me of her?” “You renamed her. You loved her. Tell me of her.” “She is everything you are not.” “Perhaps I should have known her better. But she is gone, and if you kill me now she will never be avenged.” — this whole exchange 😭 Iorek loves Lyra so much, Asriel saying he should have known her better (no shit, sir)…

“You do not understand. Lyra went to the Land of the Dead.” “The Land of the…?” “Yes. But she walked in the line.” “How did she enter that place?” “With the knife.” “The knife is broken.” “I fixed it. She went after her friend, Roger.” “… the kitchen boy.” “Another reason why I should kill you!” - IOREK GETS IT ASDFGHJKL HE’S A BETTER FATHER THAN ASRIEL EVER WAS FUCK ASRIEL WE ONLY LOVE IOREK AND LEE AS FATHER FIGURES NOW

Asriel laughing because “my daughter is staging a prison break” 💀

NOOO NOT LYRA FALLING INTO THE ENDLESS ABYSS

THE HARPY SAVING LYRA FROM FALLING INTO THE ABYSS HOLY SHIT

Marisa telling Serafina about torturing that witch in detail, Jesus CHRIST, she literally wants Serafina to kill her at this point :( but Serafina sees right through it of course

“If you won’t do it out of anger… then please just do it out of mercy.” - 😭 now why am I sympathising with Marisa

“Love… makes us fragile in ways we cannot fathom.” “I didn’t love Lyra. I wasn’t able to” - SURE you didn’t love her, Marisa 🙄

“Even my own dæmon rejects me” - yeah no can’t say I blame him honestly

Serafina talking about how she lost her son that she had with Farder Coram 😭 and how Lyra gave her hope

“When I first heard that prophecy, it terrified me. (…) Because I was always taught to believe that Eve was guilty of something shameful.” - yep, religion will do that to you!

“All Eve did was dare to experience - it’s an act of bravery. Of great beauty. You were a monster, but look what experience did to you… what love did. It changed you.” - oh my god the religion criticism is on point today holy crap

Will hugging Lyra and asking if she’s okay 😭❤️

Lyra wanting to give the harpy a name to thank it 😭

“Names can’t just be given!” “Mine was… by a friend.” - exactly, Lyra!

“Gracious-Wings.” — … Interesting name, Lyra but okay

“You can’t take it back now!” - I have NO intention to and neither does Lyra 😳

The harpies kinda do make me sad because like… they don’t have names. They’re frightening to look at. They live in the land of the dead. They’re trapped just as much as the ghosts are, and feared for how they look which probably contributes to their behaviour. So Lyra showing some kindness must be a brand new experience for them.

“You cannot tell the story of my name if you do not get out.” “… You like stories, don’t you? True ones.” - ohhhhhhhhh I get it! Awww, so Gracious-Wings wants Lyra to escape, not only because she’s been listening to her stories but also because Lyra can then tell the living about Gracious-Wings and the truth that she’s not so scary/completely evil, so maybe people when they die will be less afraid to meet her? Idk

“True stories are nourishing. They feed us, we had no idea there was anything but lies and wickedness.” “If those who follow behind tell you everything they saw in the world, everything true… could you guide them here so they could be set free?” - god I forgot how deep and clever this whole section was in the book

“Do not lie to me.” “I won’t.” - for once, I actually do believe she’s telling the truth

“Do we have a deal? The prisoners’ safe passage in exchange for their stories?” - YESSS OMG

“It’s alright, they’re going to help us! Just tell them your stories - stories from your lives, and they’ll guide you up. Tell them stories.” - nahhh I’m not crying you are 😭

Asriel telling Marisa Lyra is still alive but she doesn’t believe him at first 😭

“It makes sense: the Authority cows us with the threat of heaven or hell but even that was a lie, it’s all purgatory.”

“Please… my heart won’t take it.” - this woman has gone through so much, she’s not a good person but damn she’s gone through a lot

“You said yourself, she’s extraordinary… to free a soul from the Land of the Dead” - well you’ve changed your fucking tune

“The witches prophecy… they believe two things about Lyra: that she is Eve, and she will defeat Death. (Smiling/Laughing) That’s what she’s doing. The prophecy is right. We must help her, Asriel.” - ASRIEL AND MARISA ACTUALLY WORKING TOGETHER FOR REAL THIS TIME?!? Like actual parents?!? Who’d have thought 😭

“There’s someone here to see you.” - LEE BROUGHT JOHN PARRY TO WILL IM CRYING ALL OVER AGAIN ARE YOU SERIOUS

“I hate fighting. I’m not who you want me to be.” “No… no, you’re so much more.” - AND THEN THE HUG 🥹😭

“All this time, I thought that when we eventually found each other… we could go back to Oxford together.” “I did too.” - 😭😭😭 they deserve so much better, I can’t-

“If we get out of this awful place…” “We won’t be going the same way.” 😭

I’m sorry, okay, this whole episode is just one big CRYFEST AT THIS POINT

Lyra saying she thought Roger was braver than her 😭

“I don’t even know if I can do anything. I’m just so tired, and my chest…” “Because you’re away from your dæmon. Separation across worlds weakens your bond, Will. She’s pining for you.” “How do you know?” “I guided her to Asriel’s republic. As soon as you release these ghosts, you must cut through and find her, Will.” - KIRJAVA IS COMING WE’RE GOING TO MEET KIRJAVA ASDFGHJKL

“Don’t try to live in a world that’s not your own. No matter how tempting it may seem. You and your dæmon… you won’t survive it.” “But you did.” “No. I felt it, like an ache, every day. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. You deserve a full life with your mother.” 😭❤️ but also foreshadowing what will happen at the end of the series I feel unwell-

“What will happen to you?” “The same that will happen to every soul trapped down here: I’ll be free. I’ll be connected again to every living thing, thanks to you.” - Damn, right in the feels 😭

John telling Will he’s so proud of him and them hugging 😭❤️💔

Serafina saying she’s gonna send Kaisa to search for Pan because she knows that Pan can’t enter the Land of the Dead and so he’ll still be there, I’m so ready!!

“If it is true, and Lyra is going to free the dead, she and Will will have achieved something remarkable… far beyond your rebellion. Lyra is your focus now. Do not fail her.” — YESSSSSSS come on Asriel and Marisa, be good parents for once

WILL DID IT HE CUT A WINDOW OUT OF THE LAND OF THE DEAD AHHHH, and it’s opened out onto a beautiful paradise ❤️

“My dad said you’ll be free. You’ll drift apart, but you’ll be out in the open - connected with everything to love.” - 😭❤️

ROGER SAYING HE’LL GO FIRST ASDFGHJKL AND LYRA SAYING SHE’LL MISS HIM SO MUCH

“You’ll be okay. I know you will. You’ve saved your best friend. When you go back to Jordan, go to the roof for me.” - AND THE FOREHEAD TOUCH 😭❤️

“I’m ready” 😭😭😭 GOODBYE ROGER

AND THEN LEE SCORESBY HUGGING HER, “No need for that, it’s okay” because she’s crying, “thank you”, tipping his hat to Will

“I’m gonna be with my Hester” - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW 😭❤️

I’m literally just full on sobbing at this point like my heart can’t take anymore at this point and there’s still TWO episodes left 😭

Marisa asking her monkey if she can sit with him?!? They’re so disconnected despite being the same person, I can’t-

“It hurts when we’re apart. I pretend that it doesn’t. That first time I sent you away… it was awful. I don’t know why I do it. At first I think it was curiosity… But now it’s become something else. A way to not feel what I can’t bear. I used to think that I was the strong one… but I was wrong. It was you. All along. I am so very sorry. Please… come back to me.” - NOOO WHY AM I HAVING EMOTIONS OVER MARISA AND THE DAMN DEMON GOLDEN MONKEY?!? AND THEM HOLDING HANDS?!?

Asriel and Marisa standing with their dæmons together… damn. Shit must be serious if the two of them are together on something

“The final rebellion has begun.” - OH SHIT HERE WE GOOOO

Episode 7: The Clouded Mountain

Two episodes left… 😬

Before we get into the episode, quick prediction: I feel like this episode is going to largely focus more on Asriel/Marisa and maybe bring that story to a close, and then the last one will be more Lyra/Will centric? Idk, we’ll see!

“We just have to keep Metatron’s forces away from the girl and the boy long enough for them to be reunited with their dæmons, to get to a safe world and… fall.” - oooooohhh

“How can you possibly know the nature of Metatron’s attack?” - LMFAO arguing like a married couple I see-

Okay, I was wrong, we are seeing Lyra and Will in this episode!

Will planning to get their dæmons himself and Lyra can wait in the nice world and he’ll meet her there 💀

“We’ve come this far and you still don’t understand: we’re in this together.” - 👏🏻

Every scene with Marisa and Asriel just seems like they’re flirting lmao

“I’ve given the girl nothing but at the very least I can buy her time” - 😭

“You’d do that for her?” “Not just her.” - THE WAY HE MOVED EVEN CLOSER TO HER ASDFGHJKL THEY ABOUT TO KISS OR SOMETHING

“Even if you get him to the abyss, you do understand it’s not just death down there? It’s eternal oblivia.” - DAMN, he’s committed I’ll give him that

“Your love for Lyra is your salvation and your downfall. When you think of her, I can read you as easily as a reflection in still water.” 😮

“Right, so we are doomed.” - Basically, yeah.

“Some of us will die today” - NOT A GREAT WAY TO OPEN AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH, ASRIEL 💀

Asriel is really on a mission to kill God in this series, that’s it summed up

“But thanks to my daughter, thanks to Lyra, we need no longer fear that fate! From today death is no longer an ending but a journey back into life!” - okay I take it back, his speech is pretty good

“Our children shall experience paradise but they will know it down here on the earth… today, we are free!” - YESSSSS 🙌🏻

OH SHIT is that Metatron’s soldiers/forces?!?

“I’m glad I said we didn’t have to win this fight” - LMAO

THE ANGEL KNEW LYRA AND WILL WERE CUTTING THROUGH AHHHH AND NOW ASRIEL’S ATTACKING LET’S GOOOO

It’s the way Lyra knew Pan and Will’s dæmon will be looking after each other 😭

“Metatron is releasing the dæmon eaters - he is turning all creatures against us” - AH HELL FUCKING NO

Are they the same as Spectres?!?

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO THIS IS MORE NIGHTMARE FUEL

YES MARISA DOING HER PART AND TRYING TO GET RID OF THEM BECAUSE SHE HAS CONTROL OVER THEM

“I’ve found Pantalaimon” - Oh my god YES give Pan back to me please

To be fair I don’t blame Will and Lyra for not immediately blindly trusting Ogunwe at this point, barely anyone is trustworthy in this series at this point

RED PANDA PAN

“They left us.” “I know. But they’ve come back for you.” - 😭❤️

AHHH KIRJAVA AND SHES A BEAUTIFUL CAT WHEN WE FIRST SEE HER AHHHHH

They can both still change but still AHHHHH SOON

“All I know is Asriel’s proud of you” - yeah, he just has a shit way of showing it

These noises are straight out a horror movie oh my GOD THE FUCK ARE THOSE THINGS THOSE GHAST-Y THINGS

Not Metatron (?) whispering into all of their heads asdfghjkl

Metatron telling Marisa she should join him and her and the monkey having this moment, “you know what to do” 😭 and he looks like he’s gonna follow her because he puts his paw on the bridge but he doesn’t 😭 can’t believe I’m having emotions have that goddamn demon monkey

ASRIEL CALLING FOR STELMARIA AND THEN MARISA INSIDE METATRON’S PALACE(?)/FORTRESS 😭

Can I just say that the visuals are STUNNING, oh my goodness I’m literally in awe of this imagery and the visuals it’s far better than 10 year old me imagined

Marisa saying that she loves Lyra and hates that she does 😭

Metatron taking on Asriel’s form so now we’ve got James McAvoy vs James McAvoy, truly Multiverse of Madness 💀

“No one cares for you.” “Marisa does.” - the way my jaw dropped, oh my

Not Asriel calling for Marisa 😭 no I will NOT ship them, I refuse-

“You care for her still? If only you knew the disdain in which she holds you. She’s giving you up.” “No… never… I love her.” - oh my god?!?!?

“She would never betray me…” “I can give you Asriel. He’s trying to protect her.” - NOOO DO NOT DO IT

HE KNEW SHE WAS CLOSE BY HE KNEW IT IM-

“Marisa, no…” - GIRL DO NOT DO IT I SWEAR

“Your dæmons are in the tower - cut them through to a safe world. I’ll find you wherever you are.” - I’m starting to remember how the book ends and my heart is hurting, it’s coming so soon…

“So… you did come.” - YES SHE DID PAN 😭 please forgive her

WILL SEEING KIRJAVA FOR THE FIRST TIME 😭❤️ and her going “… Will.” 🥹

“How could you bear it? Leaving me behind?” 😭

“We should be together. Please.” But the damage is done… if you’ve read TSC, you know 😭

What is that monkey doing? Is he helping them escape? HE PULLED THE LEVER ASDFGHJKL

“For Lyra.” 😭❤️

MARISA HELPING ASRIEL UP, ASRIEL AND MARISA GRAPPLING WITH METATRON TOGETHER, and then STELMARIA RUNNING AND JUMPING AND THEM ALL TUMBLING INTO THE ABYSS 😭😭😭💔💔💔 IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED IVE BEEN WAITING YEARS-

The monkey and Lyra looking at each other 😭 and she knows, she knows her mother has helped them-

NOT STELMARIA FADING TO DUST 😭

LYRA AND THE MONKEY REACHING OUT FOR EACH OTHER AND HE STARTS FADING AWAY NO NO NO

NOT ME GETTING UPSET AND CRYING OVER THAT DAMN BASTARD GOBLIN POS MONKEY 😭😭😭

Lyra having to wipe her eyes 😭 same, me too-

I knew this episode would end the Asriel/Marisa/Metatron storyline, I just knew it

“Cloud’s gone. It’s all gone. The war’s over.” 🥺😭

I know we’ve still got an episode left but I’m already weeping because I’ve waited 15 years for this adaptation to come, to see this whole trilogy adapted right, and now it’s happened

Ogunwe seeing his daughters 🥹

“Can we go now? I wanna see Pan.” - YES 😭👏🏻

DAMN ONE EPISODE LEFT

Episode 8: The Botanic Garden

Just from the title alone I know this is going to cause me pain but let’s DO IT

Damn, they didn’t even do a recap on this episode (or at least my iPlayer didn’t?)

LAST TIME LETS GO WE DIE LIKE (WO)MEN

Lyra waking up and the first thing she asks for is Pan 🥺

Also Lyra going for a swim because she’s all dirty, don’t blame her quite frankly

“After everything we’ve been through and now we’re here… doesn’t seem real” - same

Lyra knows her mother is dead :(

“I should be relieved… there’s so many things I don’t understand about my parents (…) like why they weren’t honest with me. Why they did such horrible things. Why wasn’t she interested in me for 13 years and then suddenly she was… why did they abandon me?” 😭😭😭

Lyra saying she doesn’t hate Asriel but can’t forgive him, and “I have the strangest feeling he’s gone… which means I’m alone” 😭 and Will saying no she’s not ❤️

Will splashing her and then jumping in 😂

“What?” “Nothing… I’m just glad you washed” LMFAO

“She doesn’t look like she misses me. She seems fine.” - oh Pan :(

“Think how good it will be to be with them again. To be close.” - Kirjava ❤️

“What if it doesn’t feel the same? What if it never does?” “Lyra loves you. We’re finally in the same world, we’re safe here.” - 1) I’m sad because of TSC all over again and 2) I’m sad because I know how this ends

NOT FATHER GOMEZ I FORGOT ABOUT HIM ASDFGHJKL

No but where did the clean clothes come from???

“But there’s someone else we need to meet.” - IS IT MARY??

“I don’t feel torn apart, and I know he’s safe.” - 😭🥹

AHHH LYRA AND WILL SEEING THE MULEFA HERD AND BEING LIKE “they’re riding on wheels!”

I like that Will’s reaction to this new creature speaking a different language is just “… Hello :D”, I love him

MARY AND LYRA REUNION 😭❤️

Mary going “oh god look at you” because Lyra is so grown up 😭

Oh my gOD FATHER GOMEZ FUCK OFF ALREADY

I wanna squash his dæmon, I don’t care, I wanna squish it and murder it

Not him shooting and killing the local wildlife, fuck you dude

“They have less Sraf than you” - ahhh because they’re still teenagers and Mary is an adult, and Dust is what causes dæmons to settle/kids to become adults, I get it

“No pods, poor things” - XD

“I’ve been all over the place but I think this is my favourite world” - same, Lyra, same, it’s so peaceful

“How do you treat a tree with respect?” - quite easily I think, Will???

“We have the stupid idea as humans that we’re the pinnacle of evolution, but we’ve got so much wrong” — 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

“It’s the answer to the question to the question you asked me in Oxford - whether Dust is sin (…) it’s the spark that means we’re alive, it’s consciousness.” “So Dust isn’t sin… it’s just as good or bad as we are.” 👏🏻🥹

The trees dying is truly heartbreaking omg 😭💔

“It’s the Dust disappearing. It’s just flooding out of the world: thought, imagination, feeling all blowing away” 😭💔

There’s got to be a way of saving it, surely…? Like this world can’t just disappear??

“… So when Pan’s a wolverine, you know you’ve pissed her off” OMFG 💀🤣

“Like a nun-nun from our world?” Will omg 😅

“Mary, tell them stories” - YES PLEASE DO

Mary’s story oh my god

“And then I met someone… she wasn’t like the other academics” - LESBIAN MARY MALONE I REPEAT LESBIAN MARY MALONE

“Years ago when I was at school, those butterflies in the pit of my stomach, that ache to be close to someone… I think I had just been too afraid to recognise it before, but I didn’t want to forget it this time.” - AND THE SHOTS OF WILL AND LYRA AHHHHH

“I knew I couldn’t go back to the convent after that, I just couldn’t bear the idea of living without ever feeling that alive. And I thought… will anyone be better off if I just go back to the hotel and say my prayers, and promise to never fall into temptation again? And the answer came back… no. No one will. And I realised, there was no one there to reward me for being a good girl or no one there to punish me for being wicked. There was no one. And it was… it was liberating.” — the fact that Mary is Irish adds a whole other layer to it because of the whole “Irish Catholic guilt” thing, but also just in general… wow. Just wow.

“I wanted to experience love. (L: And did you?)… yeah. (W: Were you scared?) Oh my god, I was terrified. I was risking everything and I was sure I’d be rejected, but… it was worth it. It’s rare when it happens, when you feel that way you have to grab it. It’s funny, isn’t it? One little moment… all she did was offer me a sweet and it changed my life forever. For the first time I was doing something with all of my nature, not just a part of it.” — I CANNOT TAKE IT, THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

I can’t get over the looks between Lyra and Will, I knew it was happening obviously because of the books but stILL to actually see it onscreen???

“Where are you, Pan? There’s so many things I want to talk to you about.” 😭

Dear GOD DUDE FATHER GOMEZ GO AWAY IM SO DONE WITH YOU

Oh Mary totally knows something is going on between them even if they don’t yet

“What if she settles as something really bad, like… a mosquito or a slug or a fish?” “I heard of a man whose dæmon was a dolphin, but he’s a sailor so it’s fine” - I REMEMBER THAT STORY ABOUT THAT MAN FJDKDKDKD

Nooo not Gomez seeing them together I wanna punch him so bad-

“I don’t think anyone can understand… apart from you.” - oh my god Will 😭

“I think she’s… right… about a lot of things” - oh Will is NOT subtle in the slightest is he-

Lyra stepping closer, “yeah? What things?” ASDFGHJKL

“Dust… trees!” - smooth, Will, real fuckin smooth 🤣

Gomez was about to shoot Lyra while she was frolicking in the water but an Angel stopped him oh my god

ITS BALTHAMOS

“Desire is not sin. Love takes a million forms, each of them beautiful, each of them worthy. You who judge, just afraid.” 👏🏻

BALTHAMOS SQUASHED GOMEZ’S DÆMON, KILLED GOMEZ, AND THEN HE DIED TOO AND HIS LAST WORD WAS “BARUCH” 😭❤️

There’s something very innocent about these two teenagers clearly falling in love and sitting by the water in their underclothes and not realising why that would be seen as wrong because it’s so innocent and sweet and new 😭

WILL AND LYRA KISS I REPEAT WILL AND LYRA KISS I SCREAMED SO LOUD OH MY GOD

AND THE DUST SETTLING OVER THEM AND THE DUST RETURNING TO THE WORLD ASDFGHJKL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

“The prophecy has been fulfilled. The love of Eve shall heal the earth and all the world shall feel it. Nature will be restored, hope will spark in darkness as innocence turns to experience, all will be in harmony once more.” - OH MY GOD AND THE SHOTS OF THE DIFFERENT WORLDS AND PLACES ASDFGHJKL

Those shy little smiles after they finished kissing omg

“Do you think Pan knows? I think he guessed” - he probably did let’s be real here lmfao

“I want to show you Jordan… proper Oxford. We can go to yours too… go to the cinema again.” - oh these kids are so hopeful 😭🥺

Pan and Kirjava!!!

“One who has given the world such a gift deserves a name… Kirjava.” — AHHHHH

Pan: Kirjava… suits you — 😭👏🏻❤️

“Why aren’t you with Will and Lyra? Are you still punishing them for their betrayal? But you love them still, don’t you? And you are not severed.” “No… we’re still one. But it was so painful.” - 🥺🥺🥺

“They will need you for what is to come” - OH BOY HERE WE GO

Pan and Kirjava coming back to their humans 😭❤️

“Pan…” “You left me. I’ve had to travel so far to find you again.” “I’m so sorry. I’m so grateful. I didn’t want to. I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry. I missed you. I love you.” “Lyra…” AND THEN HE RUNS AND HUGS HER 😭

“I hoped you’d settle as a pine marten… suits you.” “I like it too.” 😭❤️

ALSO PAN SETTLED?!?!

“I’m… Kirjava.” WILL MEETING KIRJAVA PROPERLY

WILL AND LYRA TOUCHING EACH OTHER’S DÆMONS, THE MOST INTIMATE OF ACTS WHEN DONE CONSENSUALLY, I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS-

“Thanks to you, the multiverse is healing.” “I barely did anything.” “You showed two innocents what it was to dare, and by discovering their love, they have drawn Dust back into our worlds.” “Is that really all it took? Something so small and ordinary?” “Love is never small to those who discover it for the first time.” — brb, crying yet AGAIN over this series

“For centuries, Dust has been flowing out of the universe… what Lyra and Will have done has turned that tide. But their love alone is not enough to sustain it forever.” - oh no, no no no, it’s about to happen

“Every window that exists must be closed” - 😭😭😭 I know what’s coming and I hate it

“Each time the knife makes a cut, the flow of Dust increases and from the tear in the space between worlds some darkness is released, bring destruction across all of the worlds. It can take the form of many things: a plague, a spectre…” - 😭

But also does this mean that Covid was a result of the subtle knife??? 💀😳👀

“But if Will can’t use the knife, and if we can’t leave the windows open, then how will we…? We have to choose worlds, Will’s or mine?” “You can’t live in someone else’s world for long. Our dæmons wouldn’t survive. It means we can’t stay in the same world together.” - THERE IT IS 😭💔

“No! You can’t come here and just say that! After everything we’ve been through, it’s not fair! … it’s not fair…” 😭😭😭 they’ve literally just fallen in love and they have to separate already

Them walking away holding hands 😭

Oh nooo she’s already lost the ability to read the Alethiometer 😭😭😭

“It’s not broken, Lyra… you’ve changed. You’ve grown up.” “So… that’s it? I will never be able to read it again?” “The knowledge still exists but you’ll have to learn it, like those before you. You read it by Grace, and you can regain it by work.” “What’s the point? Why did we get here? Why did we go through everything we went through just to be forced apart?” — 😭

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel this bad.” “It won’t always feel like this.” “I don’t want to not feel like this about Lyra… I only want her.” - NOT WILL AND MARY’S COVERSATION IM TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER SO BAD

“You know all those stories that say the greatest love is the one you can’t live without? The one that you’re prepared to die for? That’s not right. That’s not what love is. I know it seems romantic to die for love but it’s much more romantic to live for it.” — 😭💔

“You will never lose what you have with Will, you have shaped each other forever. And I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you will have a future, Lyra” - and Lyra is just sitting there crying 😢 I hate it here-

“If humanity set their minds to discovery and their hearts to compassion, they may create enough Dust for a single opening to remain. But you already know where that window must be.” “The Land of the Dead.” “We can’t close that window, it’s the most important one.” — 😭💔

Will has to break the knife once they’re back in their own worlds 😭😭😭 and the angels will help close the windows

“There are fates even the most powerful have to submit to.” - 💔

“I love you. I’m not gonna stop loving you until the day I die.” “I love you.” - KILL ME. It would hurt FAR LESS

“We will come back here, when we’ve lived our lives, we’ll go through the Land of the Dead and we’ll tell Gracious-Wings everything we’ve done. We’ll find each other here. I’ll be drifting about until I find you.” “And I’ll be searching for you every moment. Every single moment.” “When we do find each other again… no one will be able to tear us apart. We’ll be joined so tightly… Every atom of me and every atom of you. When they use our atoms to make new lives, they’ll have to take two; one for you and one for me. We’ll be in the flowers and in the sunbeams… we’ll be joined so tight.” — okay no I’m full on sobbing and crying and shaking, I can’t cope with this, I can’t do anything but cry now

Lyra and Will embracing and holding each other, just clinging to each other on the floor as they cry 😭💔

“Don’t forget us, Mary. Keep telling stories.” - 😭💔 this whole episode is just a massive HEARTBREAK I CANNOT-

We’re back to Lyra’s Oxford 😭

NOT THE BENCH, NOT THE FUCKING BENCH NO I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE BENCH FUCK YOU PHILIP PULLMAN

“You know you could see your dæmon too, if you wanted” - oh my god yes?!?! I KNEW she met her dæmon at some point, I knew I didn’t imagine it!

“There you are.” - AHHH HER DÆMON IS A BIRD

“We can come back here every year. You in your world and me in mine. Midsummer’s Day. Midday.” “And I’ll be there. I’ll be there every year, my whole life.” “And if we do meet someone we like, we must be kind to them - we won’t compare them. We’ll come here, just for an hour… we can be together.” “Every year. I promise.” - ASDFGHJKL THIS HURTS MY HEART IT HURTS

“Just do it!” 😭😭😭 she wants him to just do it because she knows it’s going to happen and hanging around prolonging it is just so much more painful

Lyra and Mary hugging goodbye 😭 “I’ll never forget you” - STOP

“I’ll break the knife as soon as I’m through because I’ll know I’ll just want to come back to you.” - THIS POST IS JUST ME SOBBING NOW EXCUSE ME-

“What is it?” “I’m just trying to imagine what you’ll look like when you’re older.” “Handsome of course.” “Very.” - EXCUSE ME

Will stepping through the window and going to close it, stopping and them then kissing 😭 “Lyra.” “Will.” AND THEN THEY KISS AND HE CLOSES THE WINDOW FUUUUUCK-

Lyra: *crying* // Me: BITCH ME TOO

“Just think of her” (to break the knife) - and it’s a series of flashbacks of her and him throughout the whole series I feel SICK-

The snow falling on Svalbard and Iorek 😭

Lyra’s back at Jordan College 😭❤️ but so much has changed

Will going back to his mum 😭💔 and then them hugging as Kirjava watches with a little smile I’m-

ONE YEAR LATER?!?! ONE YEAR LATER I’M-

She’s dressed like a student I’m-

ARE THEY GOING TO THE GARDEN?!?

“We can come back here every year. You in your world, me in mine. We can be together. I’ll be there every year. My whole life. I promise.”

THE FADES AS THEY GET OLDER AND WITH EACH YEAR, THE SPLIT SCREEN OF THEM AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BENCH, THEM REACHING OUT TO HOLD EACH OTHER’S HANDS, WILL’S MISSING FINGERS

“Lyra.” Being the last line of this show, oh my GOD.

THE ENDING TITLE CARDS

“Will and Lyra continued to return to their bench at the same time, every year. They kept their promise to each other, going on to live full lives in their own worlds. Will became a medical student and later, a successful surgeon. Lyra went on to be educated at St Sophia’s College in Oxford, where she was taught how to once again read the Alethiometer… Which would come in useful one day, when Lyra and Pan would go on to have a further great adventure. But that’s another story…”

THE BOOK OF DUST/THE SECRET COMMONWEALTH ADAPTATION CONFIRMED?!? IS THAT WHATS GOING ON?!?

Okay… wow… okay.

I’ll admit that in S1, I had issues with the show as a longtime fan of the books; perhaps I was too busy comparing it to the movie or whatever else, but also I had complaints about the lack of dæmons on-screen and how that really hurt the first series as a result (eg. The Billy Costa scene). Thankfully in S2 and S3, that issue was resolved and not a problem in the slightest, which I’m so glad for. I feel like for me personally, Subtle Knife (S2) and Amber Spyglass (S3) had the benefit of not having been adapted for the screen before (unlike Northern Lights/S1), so it was able to stand up as it’s own adaptation easier and not necessarily have the movie looming over it (if that makes sense). Because while I agree the movie was not great and didn’t do justice to the books, it was still an expensive blockbuster with hype and big names attached.

Right now I really want to reread TAS - I reread TSK when S2 was airing so it feels right to reread TAS now, but I’m reading Outlander still so I’ll have to put it off a few days 😭 - and also I want to take the trip to the Botanical Garden in Oxford where Lyra and Will meet every year. I don’t know if other fans do that but it’s something I’ve wanted to do a while, and now I want to do it more than ever. I’ll have to remind myself closer to the Midsummer’s Day to do it!

Honestly, I’m so emotional over this whole series. Was it a perfect adaptation? No, no adaptation is 100% accurate or perfect, things get changed or cut for whatever reason. But it was beautifully done, and I’m so unbelievably happy that it was finally done justice. I truly don’t think I could have asked for a better adaptation of a series that has meant so much to me for fifteen whole years. I’m so grateful that I live in a time where this series has been given the love and attention it deserves, and I can only hope that people viewing the show first have gone on to read Philip Pullman’s books, that it’s inspired them to read those too.

The cast have been spectacular throughout, especially the main cast members: Dafne Keen, Ruth Wilson, James McAvoy, Amir Wilson… gosh, all of them. And then of course the voice cast have been amazing too, especially Kit Connor as Pantalaimon since that’s literally the main voice role throughout this whole series. I’m just so blown away at this point, I can barely type it.

[totalfknloser]

can you do zakk romantic and smut headcanons where he sees a girl at a local gig and decides she's his next hookup but accidentally catches feelings upon getting to know her and finding out she's actually pretty cool and insanely into metal and all the things he is ?? thank you i love your headcanons for him so much

YES THIS IS SO CUTE (praying my headcanons don’t start to sound repetitive also it’s almost 5 am LMAO so if this sounds more like a fanfic i’m so sorry) (okay this does in fact sound more like a fanfic because i genuinely can’t at all figure out another way to write this. yep this is def more of a fanfic with hints of headcanons)

.⛧°+.+°⛧.

⛧ Zakk totally was checking you out and he did not try to hide it. it’s depending on the girl but i don’t think he would usually avoid being stealthy with checking a girl out. you were fixated on him from the start of the gig so when you saw him being possibly interested, you almost squealed with joy.

⛧ tbh idk if zakk would straight up “hey, wanna fuck?” or get to know you just to get you to fuck you but then accidentally really like your traits and personality, but for the sake of keeping these not too sexual, we will do for the second.

⛧ Zakk would talk to you a lot, and you’d do the same. you both would ask questions about each other and unlike you, Zakk started showing romantic interest a lot slower than you did, but it was still there and still growing. Zakk would ask you all kinds of music related questions and about your interests and he really started to take a liking to them.

⛧ Zakk’s questions would slowly get more personal as you’d be walking cause he doesn’t wanna end up fucking some freak or get an std or whatever. “you don’t have herpes or some shit, right?” he asked in a bold tone. “nah, what about you?” you didn’t show that much discomfort, you could tell what you were getting into just by the look of the boy. he responded with “No.”

⛧ you both got to his place and he started off pretty quick. Zakk would definitely not be one for much sweet stuff before sex. sure, Zakk would definitely give you occasional kisses and give you all kinds of passionate touches along your body. Zakk would totally touch your tits if you got any and give you a couple hickies and love bites just to show everyone who meets you for the next week that you’re gonna be his.

⛧ Zakk would really try to push his growing romantic feelings back down as you both get more and more intimate with each other and eventually you both fuck each other like bunnies on the last day of earth. Zakk would only whisper small amounts of mixed degradation and praises cause he isn’t really sure if you’d like to be called a slut or whore too much. he very obviously doesn’t want you to leave, at least not yet.

⛧ even for just a one night type of thing, he was good and you were in heaven. after you two were done, he almost contemplated asking you to leave so he can get his romantic feelings to fuck off, even if he’d miss you for a few days. but Zakk was too tired to care and he just fell asleep with you while you were in his arms.

⛧ Zakk has never done much aftercare in his entire life whenever he’s with a chick or two. you weren’t really knowing what you’d expect, either aftercare or not wasnt a problem really.

⛧ when you guys would wake up, you’d sit in awkward silence for a few minutes till you picked things up and ask if he wants to go out sometime.

⛧ the boy is absolutely stunned by your question, but he would answer, and very nervously. “O-Oh, uhm, yeah, sure.”

⛧ after you guys hung out a lot you eventually actually asked if you wanted to date each other and of course he said yeah.

⛧ it would take him a while to get used to caring for a girl for like, ever. Zakk has never really had relationships besides in his mid teens because he wasn’t done with trying for romance back then. you guided Zakk through romance and he really enjoyed it. you two would go on dates, especially dates late at night. you’d also learn to cook or if you already have cooking skills, make food for the both of you because Zakk was incredibly hesitant to go out in public doing all that sweet shit. as i said in the past, he doesn’t wanna be seen as a huge softy.

⛧ you both would love each other blah blah blah and go to shows all the time together and do all that fun shit and grow old together and die together and love each other as cute little ghosts and haunt people for fun.

.⛧°+.+°⛧.

hope this wasn’t too disappointing!!

[deliwrites]

𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕔𝕠𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤 // Dream

// DATE // 15th of October 2022 // PAIRING // Dreamwastaken x fem!reader (though I don't think I specified a gender) // WARNING // fluff, cursing, pda // WORDS // 2,8k+ // SUMMARY // The community means everything to you. Which you prove when your boyfriend, Dream, takes you to Twitchcon Amsterdam. (obviously dream hadn't face revealed before the actual Amsterdam event but he has now 😜 for safety reasons lets just say it's like next years Twitchcon)

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

"Oh! This is so exciting!" I squealed. We were currently on our way from the Hotel to Twitchcon Amsterdam! I may or may not have woken the boys up bright and early because of my excitement.

Yep, that's right! Dream, George and Sapnap were all here for the event. Last night I could barely sleep. I may have kept Clay up a bit longer than I hoped for. My thoughts were just racing a mile a minute.

'We should get there early,' I mumbled at one point.

'What?' Clay's voice was muffled. His face stuffed in my neck. I was on my back in bed, staring at the ceiling. Clay on the other hand. The cuddle monster. His long frame was laying half out of bed. Arms wrapped around my waist, his right hand holding a tight grip on my right hip.

'I was just saying that we should get there early,' I tell him. 'There are so many people coming to see you and the rest of the dream smp members. You obviously won't be able to meet them all, but I want to at least try,' he hums sleepily at my words. He might still be a little jetlagged.

'They are there for you too,' he ends up muttering. Placing a gentle peck on my neck.

'I know,' a blush playing softly on my cheeks. Not that he would see. 'but don't you agree we should be there early?'

'You're the boss,' I hold back a giggle. Deciding to just let him sleep. Quickly setting up an alarm for 6 am. I knew he wouldn't be waking up from alarm anyways.

In the morning, I got up at 6. Leaving Clay fast asleep. Taking a quick and quiet shower. I waited with brushing my teeth. Putting on my outfit for today, slipping into sneakers.

Going to the breakfast hall I got, Clay, Nick and George some breakfast. Struggling just a little bit when it came to bringing it up to our rooms. Nick and George had the room next to me and Clay. They had given me a spare keycard just in case. Little did they know I would use it to wake them up bright and early.

When I got back to the rooms it was around 7:30. First, I set the food for Clay on the nightstand on his side of the bed. Letting the smell of freshly baked croissants hit his nose. Taking the other tray, and the key card, I head to the room next door.

I don't bother knocking and just waltz in. Slamming the door shut as I do so. George is the one that wakes up first. Sitting up in bed from the harsh slam. Nick just groans in frustration.

"Y/n," George wines, flopping back on the bed. "You scared the crap out of me."

"Sorry not sorry," I giggle. Setting the tray down on the little desk, I grab the plate for George. Along with his drink. "Here, breakfast. I know, it's early, but I wanna leave before 9," I send the sleepy brit a pout. "There are so many people that wanna meet you guys, I don't want to disappoint them."

"Alright, we'll be ready," he answers genuinely. I squeal in excitement. Taking Nick's plate and drink I put them on his nightstand.

"Thank you! Love you guys!" I tell them before leaving the room. Letting them get ready. Going back into Clay and I's room, the sleepy head has woken up. Sat up on the bad, rubbing his eyes.

"You got me breakfast?" he asks once he notices me in the room. I smile sweetly and sit next to him on his side.

"I did," I peck his cheek, lingering. He smiles, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. Moving his left leg swiftly to trap me. Pulling me into his embrace.

"I love you, you know that right?" he says when he lets go just enough for me to look at his face. Smile never leaving my lips. Before I could answer he peppers my face with kisses. Drawing giggles out of me. He pecks my lips gently.

"I know," I tell him sweetly. "I love you too. Now eat, we leave before 9," I reluctantly get out of his embrace. Grabbing my own plate of food.

After we finish our food and drinks, I let Clay take the bathroom so he can get ready. He calls out to me when it's time to brush out teeth. I'm already grinning before I reach the bathroom. He pulls my much smaller frame, into his. My back against his front. His left arm wrapped around my waist, the other holding his toothbrush. I put some toothpaste on his brush. Then some on my own. Setting the paste back down, my dominant hand holds the brush while the other holds Clays' hand. This was our routine when it came to brushing our teeth. I loved it every single time.

Before the Dream SMP Reunion panel even started we met so many fans. I notice a few that seemed nervous as we walked by them on the convention floor. Every time I stop the group. This time I walk over to someone wearing a Dream hoodie, George glasses on top of their head and fire emblem earrings.

"Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you. I just had to say that you look absolutely lovely," I tell them gently. Their eyes seem to grow wider at my approach and words.

"Oh, uhm, thank you," their voice is soft and trembly. Fingertips fidgeting with the strings on the hoodie.

"You're welcome!" I smile sweetly. "You know, I understand that these moments can be very nerve-wracking. Don't tell anyone I said this, but I'm nervous too," I whisper to them. "For me, hugs seem to help. Would you like one?"

"Yes, please," I grin and wrap the fan in a comforting hug. They hold on tight, but I don't mind. If this is what they need then they can hold onto me for as long as they need. When they do seem to slowly let go, I gesture with a hand behind my back, for the three friends to slowly come closer. "I know just the people who would love to meet you! And don't worry they don't bite," I wink which gets me a giggle. I step aside, showing Clay, George and Nick. Or as they know them, Dream, George and Sapnap. A soft gasp leaves the fan's lips. My smile brightens. I nudge Clay with my hip. "Come on Dream, don't be nervous, they are human just like you," I know he wants the roll his eyes at my words towards him. But he knows I do it to reassure the fan that it's okay to be nervous.

Many more interactions like that happen before the reunion. Sometimes we obviously did get stopped but not so shy fans. Not all of them talked to me, but I was already expecting that. I didn't mind, during those cases, I would offer to take a picture for the fan. Let them talk and offer water to whoever the fan wasn't talking to at the moment. I had to keep my boys hydrated on this hot day.

Some fans we met would flirt a little, even if they knew Clay and I were a couple. I wasn't worried tho. I know he loves me, which he proves again and again. He held my hand all throughout the day, only letting go when he needed to.

Finally, it was panel time. I was bouncing backstage talking to Niki, aka, Nihachu. Niki and I got along from the moment we met on the smp.

"I'm so excited!" I tell her, clutching a stuffy a fan had given to me.

"Me too! At least the Amsterdam one is way better organized than the San Diego one," she says and I had to agree. I couldn't even watch back that panel. There was so much silence in just the first 5 minutes. I tried my best to fill up the silence then. It was just hard to do so.

San Diego Twitchcon was the first Twitchcon I had ever been to as a creator. I was nervous as hell which held me back a bit. Normally I wouldn't be able to actually see the viewers. Now they were right there, you know? It was nerve-wracking.

"I still can't get over the fact that we actually had to practice for this one," I giggle while staring at Clay. He was standing a little ways away from me. Talking to Phil and Wil about who knows what. A smile plastered on my face.

"You really love him, don't you?" Niki's question surprises me a little. I shake my head to return my mind back to earth. Looking at her, she holds an endearing expression.

"I do," I tell her honestly. A grin from ear to ear on my face. I look down at my feet when I feel the heat of a blush flushing my cheeks. I was bouncing from one foot to the other. Niki chuckles at my action, pulling me into a side hug.

"You are adorable, I hope you know," I look back at Clay. He's already looking at me when our eyes meet. He sends me a wink, a smirk playing on his lips. A tiny squeal leaves my lips as I hide in Niki's embrace. Getting more laughs from her.

This year it was again, Adam Savage, who introduced the group. I had high hopes for the event. I was also really nervous as this was my first time on stage with them. Clay seemed to have noticed as he came over to me. Taking my hand in his. Looking up at him I squish his hand. Letting him know that I appreciated him. Letting go of my hand he is quick to wrap his arms around my shoulders. I respond quickly by wrapping my arms around his middle. He pecks my forehead gently.

"You'll do great," he tells me. Turning my head to look up at him, I shake my head at him.

"You're the one that's going to do great," I tell him. He chuckles shaking his head. Pecking my lips quickly. Taking my hand just in time as we are being introduced.

"Welcome to the stage of Twitchcon," Adam exclaims from the stage. Cheers already erupting from the audience. "Tubbo, Nihachu, Jack Manifold, Wilbur Soot, Philza, Tommyinnit!" I furrowed my eyebrows when he didn't continue. We didn't practice this part. What was going on? "We had rehearsed on where to sit 5 times, how are there 4 empty seats!"

"I think we are missing some people," Tommy comments. "But we can go on without them, I'm sure."

'No's fill the audience.

"Hmm, would we be missing?" Adam fakes confusion. "Oh, I've just been informed! Welcome to the stage: Sapnap, Georgenotfound, Y/u/n and Dream!" Loud screams and cheers came from the fans. Smiling from ear to ear I follow onto the stage. Not letting go of Clays' hand. My seat was on the couch, next to Niki, while his seat was behind me. We struggled a bit but managed to sit down whilst never letting go of our hands. "What's going on here?" Adam asks confused at the struggle.

"Sorry, that's my partner, they're nervous. They won't let go of my hand," Clay throws me under the bus. Laughs coming from all around us. I pout, turning my head upside down so he can see it. "Sorry, love," he says, pecking my forehead. Unified 'awh's filling the space.

"Nah, I think I'll be Niki's now," letting go of his hand I cuddle into Niki. Who giggles but goes along with it. Wrapping her arms around me. Clay pouts but he knows I don't mean it. Sitting normally the reunion finally actually begins.

"Dream, let's go to you next," Adam brings attention to Clay as we were making rounds of sent-in clips by us. "You, just like the others, sent in a clip, for all of us to see."

"Right," Clay reaches a hand around his head, scratching his neck. "Yes, technically, yes."

"Technically?" Jack asks flabbergasted.

"What's that supposed to mean," Tubbo asks confused.

"I didn't pick it-"

"Don't say anything else," I cut in. "Just show the clip, I promise, it will be great! And while we watch it," I leave an empty silence for dramatic effect. "Hydrate check! The fans too!" I send a pointed look at the fans. I run off stage quickly, grabbing water bottles from my bag. Handing it to everyone a look of confusion still on their faces.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"Shh, just drink your water, and watch the clip," I giggle when the clip finally starts.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to have them do a hydrate check while watching this clip, but oh well. Laughs were all the noise heard in the room. Dream leant forward, hiding his head behind mine in embarrassment. Or maybe laughter? I wasn't sure.

When it was meet and greet time, I stood with Clay. I didn't have my own panel, but I didn't mind. Even if I did, I would beg for it to be at least next to Clay. Am I clingy? Yeah. Do I care? No.

I had gathered tonnes of water, don't ask me how, beforehand. I peeked to see how long the line was. It was long, like so freakishly long. So many people would be waiting for such a long time. So, I wanted to make sure they would be staying hydrated. Before the meet and greet started, I left Clay at the stand to talk with Nick and George.

"Oh my god, is that Y/n!?" the voice catches your attention as you walk closer to the end of the line.

"Hi!" I wave at them and the people they are with. "How are you guys doing?"

"We're doing alright, I am for sure. I loved the dream smp panel," One of them sputtered quickly.

"I'm so glad to hear that," the smile never leaves my lips while interacting with the fans. I took a few pictures with some and got some lovely hugs from others. And handed out as many water bottles as I could. Along with vegan candy, wanting to not exclude anyone when it came to the candy. I think I was only able to give water bottles to about 1/4th of the line. I apologized to the people that noticed I ran out. I had way more candy, so for those who saw I gave them two candies instead of one.

When I finally returned to Clay, he whispered to me; "So, I heard, from a little bird, that you've been handing out water bottles to fans?" he asks as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I did," I nod, holding onto his biceps. "I just had to make sure they would stay hydrated. Now go talk to your fans!" I push him to his panel, fans cheer when I do so.

That night, when we get back to the hotel. We literally plummet onto the bed. My legs were killing me, and I am sure his were too.

"Come here," I demand Clay to come closer to me. I had my arms open, wanting to just cuddle right now. Chuckling, Clay crawls closer. He pulls me into the middle of the bed, making sure my head lays comfortably on the pillows.

"So demanding," he jokes as he plops down between my legs, his head landing on my stomach. Giggling I brush my fingers through his curly hair. He lets out a content sigh, enjoying just being together for a bit. The day was a lot of fun, he enjoy it a lot. But being able to have some private alone time with you really helped him relax.

A ping from my phone grabs my attention. Leaving one hand in the tall man's hair, I grab my phone. A ton more pings come from the device. I quickly open Twitter finding #twitchconlovers trending. A little confused I click on it. My page fills with pictures of me and Clay. Mostly just pictures of me staring at Clay. All pictures from today's Twitch con.

Am I the only one who noticed just how in love Y/n is with Dream?

Can someone please just look at me the way Y/n looks at Dream!

Here is the compilation no one asked for but everyone needed to see. The pure love these two hold for each other. I am honestly so jealous.

"Clay," I whisper, he hum's in response. "Look at this," I hand him my phone. He frowns at the brightness at first. A smile slowly starts to grow on his face.

"I'm so happy I've got you here with me," he locks my phone, putting it aside. Crawling up he hovers over me. "I love you, hun," a blush flushes my cheeks.

"I love you, more," leaning up, I connect my lips with his. God, I love this man so much!

// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //

[pukanavis]

"Mystery on a Moonlit Cruise" Track 6

Location: Party Hall

Ryui: Those testimonies were enough for you to figure out what happened?

Netaro: Yep, harnessing my genius intellect made it crystal clear.

Muneuji: Please share your conclusion with us, Netaro-san.

Nanaki: Who would’ve done something like this…?

Yukikaze: Was I right to assume that I did this unconsciously after all…?

Netaro: The culprit behind this mass slumber is…

Everyone: Gulp.

Netaro: No one!!

Ryui: …Huh?

Yukikaze: How can that be?

Netaro: It’s simple! This incident is nothing but a series of coincidences! Everyone that coincidentally happened to be in the party hall was coincidentally hit with a wave of simultaneous fatigue and coincidentally fell asleep! It was all just a big mishap.

Nanaki: A mishap…?

Ryui: On what fucking planet does that many coincidences line up!? I’m not playing your games, Yowa.

Netaro: But you can't say it's impossible! There’s an astronomical possibility of a phenomenon like this occurring~. Next question~.

Ryui: Tch…we’re not getting anywhere with this. I’m leaving.

Nanaki: Where are you going, Ryui-san?

Ryui: To look for some way to get this shit sorted out, obviously.

Nanaki: …Haven't we done enough?

Ryui: …What?

Nanaki: We’ve already shared our statements and while I understand how you feel, Yowa-san isn't wrong when he says that this whole thing could just be one unfortunate mishap…

If we keep digging into this, it might end up driving us mad with paranoia instead.

Ryui: …

If that’s how you feel then there’s nothing stopping you from sitting on your ass.

Nothing will change as long as you refuse to do anything. Things’ll stay the same as always, and you’ll get to keep hiding away from harm in that safe little bubble.

ーFlashback

Yukikaze: Would you rather not tell her yourself?

Nanaki: (I’m worried that I’ll end up making things weird…)

Nanaki: …Is there something wrong with that?

Ryui: Nah, it's fine. If that’s what you really want, I mean.

Nanaki: …

Ryui: …All I know is that I’m done living like that. See ya.

Muneuji: Ryui-san has gone off on his own.

Yukikaze: What should we do now?

Netaro: I for one am ready to clean up what’s left of the buffet! Using my brain for all that detective work is making my tummy grumble!

Muneuji: It would certainly be a shame to let the food grow cold. Will you be having a bite too, Nanamegi?

Nanaki: …

…I’ll pass.

Netaro: Why~?

Nanaki: After hearing what Ryui-san said…I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself if I end up doing nothing at all while he’s gone.

Yukikaze: Nanaki…

Nanaki: (Even a certain someone called out my tendency to throw up a wall and try to act like an adult.)

There’s actually something that I’ve had floating around in my mind.

It probably doesn’t mean anything, so I didn’t want to bring it up in fear of embarrassing myself or weirding everyone out.

But I’d like to share it now, if it’s okay—

Muneuji: I’m glad you’ve decided to bring it up, Nanamegi.

Yukikaze: Agreed, this is really cool of you. I’m proud to be your big brother.

Nanaki: Ah…I wasn’t expecting you guys to be so encouraging…this reaction is making me feel even more embarrassed…

A-Anyway.. I wanted to talk about what happened just before we arrived at the door to the party hall—

Location: Outdoor Walkway

Ryui: …Doesn’t look like anyone is tailing me.

(If Yowa couldn't detect any other intelligent life forms on the boat, then what are the chances that something from a different world is the one behind this...?)

Anything wandering around this far out at sea is gonna be a real pain in the ass to deal with. I should’ve packed a bottomless ladle with me. [1]

Ryui: Listen up. If you can speak, answer me.

I want to hear everything you know.

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Notes 1. Ryui is referring to a hishaku, a Japanese ladle made from bamboo. It is believed that a bottomless hishaku can be used as protection against spirits that try to sink boats by flooding them.