#i am otherwise not a fan of making references to media. but usually nobody recognizes this so it's fine

[mildmayfoxe]

I had a feeling but I needed to double check, its so rare I find another fan of that book series!

yeah!! that's part of why i've never changed it, most people don't know it's a reference to anything hahaha

[lunawings]

Island Fiesta Event Report 9/7/2019

So I finally got to go to an Island Fiesta! The series I went for was King of Prism.

This post is going to be long (and includes a lot of sea animals) because I want to talk about the event experience in general for people who may be thinking of going in the future. If you just want to read about the dolphin show with Junta Terashima and Taku Yashiro skip to the end. 

So Attraction Fiesta, or Island Fiesta depending on where it takes place (https://atfes.com/), is a new sort of event that popped up a few years ago. Basically they will sell anime merch at some tourist attraction, causing a bunch of fans to buy tickets and hang out at said attraction/area and spend money for that day. They call it Island Fiesta when it takes place on Hakke Island in Yokohama. Or at least that’s the gist of what I have gathered?? Back when they first started doing it, I think it was only just merch? I usually try and talk myself out of going long distance to events just to buy things. But they have been adding more features, like collab food and riddle solving games. And then they started doing actual events with voice actors, including a dolphin prism show. 

DOLPHIN

PRISM 

SHOW

So that was basically that. I decided I NEEDED to make it out to one of these at some point. I’d been waiting a year or so for one of them to fall on a good weekend and one finally did. So off I went. 

I wasn’t sure how early I needed to get there in the morning for the merch line. At first I thought it may not be so bad, but then I realized.... King of Prism wasn’t the only thing that was gonna be featured. There were eleven other series to buy merch from that day... and we’d likely all be in the same line...................

I ended up getting there at 8:45 (it opened at 9:30), and got a ticket for merch that said 11:10. 

I thought this wasn’t so bad for coming “late”.

But I also mistakenly thought they would be letting small waves of people in every 10 or 20 minutes like other events I had been to. But no, they actually let in big groups of like 100 people an hour (the 11:10 block had numbers 1 to 100 or so and we were supposed to line up roughly in that order), so after lining up at 11:10 I did not get out until like.... 1:45-2ish.......... and most of that was standing outside in summer because September is still summer in Japan. (At least we were in the shade though.)

The event had a loose Halloween theme and the Kinpri boys were vampires. I only got one Shin, but it was the acrylic strap which was really good. TBH though I was actually a bit more excited about the Ace stuff I got. Because I’m not that big of a fan of the artwork they did for Shin this time, and this is my first Ace merch EVER. 

They actually had a trading area for merch, which is kinda rare. It’s much more common for events to forbid trading altogether. ( So usually we just have to make… sHaDy dEAliNgs… Which has never made sense to me. I’ll buy MORE if I think maybe I can trade it with people…) 

But when I went over to the officially sanctioned trading area it was kinda small and looked like the same people had been camping out there all day probably. Plus nobody had signs for what they wanted out and I am pretty self conscious about initiating trades out of the blue. I checked Twitter just in case but found only people who were looking FOR Shin (pulls collar) instead of wanting to spare him and quickly gave up.

(I th.. I think there may have been a shift in popularity since SSS but maybe I’ll discuss that later…)

So the atmosphere of this event was rather strange. 

The merch line/trading area was as crowded and hectic from very early morning onward as any big time anime event I have been to. 

But the rest of the park.... 

Was pretty empty. 

Well, okay, it got more full as the day went on. I took these photos around 9:30 - 10:30 am. (I happen to find empty amusement park photos more interesting than lively ones.) But still.

There was an interesting divide in the park patrons. On the one hand you had all the fangirls (+about 4 or 5 fanboys yes there were that few) wandering around with itabags, and then the regular families just enjoying an amusement park haha. Of the fangirls, there was also a divide between King of Prism and.... non. Because it was easily like 70% King of Prism. But I suppose a.) I notice Kinpri fans a lot easier (sometimes I’m not sure what someone is here for. then I notice a tacky flamingo on their bag and it’s like I GOT YOU) and b.) This day was the dolphin prism show so there was probably a significantly higher concentration of Kinpri fans this day than other days. But still. I’m not used to King of Prism being one of the big dogs. 

So, I couldn’t tell you what the second most popular series was since I didn’t really recognize any of the others. Although what I can tell you is that for whatever reason the Yumeiro Cast merch actually started selling out first. (The King of Prism stuff followed after.) 

They had some food collabs, but the Kinpri vampire pizza was already sold out by the time I got out of the merch line. (So I just got non-Kinpri pizza and thought about King of Prism while I ate it. My stomach didn’t know the difference.) None of the other collab food sold out I think. 

Now, about the attraction itself. 

The proper name for this place is Yokohama Hakkejima Sea Paradise. It’s a pretty interesting and quirky aquarium/theme park.

Coming up to this event I was a bit worried I’d have nothing to do all day since I was getting in early for merch but the dolphin show wasn’t until evening. I wasn’t planning on merch taking over two hours though, so I actually only barely had time to see most of the attractions and just breezed through the main aquarium. Still, it doesn’t take much time for me to look at a fish anyhow. (I just may have kinda wasted my all-access day pass is all.)

You can get up really close to dolphins and penguins and all sorts of animals and pet them because.... sure?? 

They also really like animals in tubes. Or you going through tubes to look at animals.

seal tube

(seal tube from above)

penguin tube (walk through a tube while penguins are over you)

penguin tube from above

dolphin tube (walk through a tube while dolphins swim over you)

view from manta ray escalator (you take an escalator while manta rays swim over you)

otter tube (the otters were able to cross over into the river exhibition next to them)

they didn’t really feel like ottering at the time though 

It’s not a Japanese aquarium without capybaras. 

(If you’ve ever been to a Japanese aquarium you’ll know that’s serious.)

They also had this section where you could like... catch fish or shellfish and then eat it right there??? Because.... Japan.

I didn’t do that part. 

But anyway. 

flamingos

and another fish tube 

So this was a pretty neat attraction with or without the King of Prism stuff. I kind of like it when my anime drags me to do neat things I would not have done otherwise. 

So after looking at fish and things, lining up for two hours for merch, and looking at fish and things some more, it was finally time for the 

dOlPHin priSM SHow

Much like for merch we lined up in accordance with the numbers on our tickets. There were no assigned seats but we all had to file into the stadium roughly in order.

My number was just about in the middle, meaning all of the good center seats were taken when I got in. So I decided to opt to sit a little off to the side in order to be closer. This was a good decision because I happened to choose the side they came out (and left from) which got a good scream out of me when I realized. 

Unfortunately I didn’t think to bring penlights. I didn’t see the Tweet saying they were allowed until I was already on the train the day before. But realizing I’d only need red and orange anyway, at least I was able to hit up the 100 yen store for some glowsticks. 

(It just didn’t occur to me that outdoor + daytime = penlights even though King of Prism. Being daylight it was hard to tell the difference between red and orange haha but oh well. It’s true doesn’t feel like a King of Prism event without them.)

Before the show began we were all given an introduction about manners for the show voiced by Kakeru and Shin, to which we all responded eagerly out loud as King of Prism fans always do. (Kakeru: Rule number one! Audience: ONE!!!!!!, Kakeru (something like): Don’t throw penlights, etc. Audience: OKAY!!!!!!!!! etc. I love this fandom.)

So this whole dolphin prism show thing started a year ago maybe? This is the third or fourth time they have done it. It’s always Junta Terashima and *insert other SePTENTRION member(s)* 

So this time it was him and Taku Yashiro, and it was Taku’s first time doing it. (So basically Vi Va Vacance! But the song they ended up playing for the dolphin show was Brilliant Oath. But they gotta promote the newest CD and all that.) 

You could tell Junta and Taku only rehearsed this like right before, if.... at all....? (Probably not at all.) And there were a lot of parts nobody quite thought through. Haha it was so candid. But that’s how I like to see them. 

They started off the event by doing a King of Prism quiz. The audience could help out but it was mostly the two of them answering the questions A or B. 

One of the questions was if the number of likes on the mock social media merch below referred to Edel Rose’s debut or the number of “King of Prism elite”. 

Realizing the number was greater than the population of the world, they guessed correctly that it was Edel Rose’s debt. 

At one point they each had to fill in the line for the other’s character of what their proposal was in SSS episode 12. And then they each read their’s in character. 

Taku couldn’t read one of the kanji characters in Kakeru’s ahahahh..... (neither could I). He also almost misspelled “showtime” when signing an autograph. 

Speaking of which, after the quiz they both autographed the big uchiwa fans with A and B written on them that they had used to answer. But clearly nobody had though this through either, because the floor was wet so they couldn’t put anything down. So they had to like awkwardly put their scripts between their legs and fumble with their microphones while they tried to sign them. Junta kept apologizing about their awkward fumbling AS IF it was even possible for them to be wasting our time. They probably gave us like an extra 3 minutes with them so I thought it was beautiful hahaha..... 

(Photo from Junta Terashima’s official Twitter.)

Junta “won” the quiz, and his prize was two dolphins.

“Oh a pink one!!” (said kind of excitedly) “And a… normal one…” (said with the tone of “it’s what I… always wanted??”)

I guess he unloaded the “normal one” on Taku after the show.

(And then they kissed.)

Then after the quiz the actual dolphin show started. But this was also something nobody thought through. (I think they were at the back stage for previous events, but this time they were at the front?) Because both of them had to RUN when they realized they were about to get completely soaked with the first big dolphin jump. (They were both kinda like OH SHII-- and barely got out of the way in time.)

The dolphin show was set to Brilliant Oath like I mentioned before. It wasn’t really all that choreographed to match the music, but I imagine with dolphins that couldn’t be an easy thing to do anyhow. There were two moments that definitely seemed like they were probably intentional though: The big jump at the end, and when one dolphin brought a hula hoop ring to the stage right at “suki da yoooooo”. The rest of the show was probably no different than their usual dolphin show. But let me tell you, they sure did a whole lot of crazy flips and jumps. The combination of prism show x dolphins all of a sudden made a lot of sense. 

After the show Junta and Taku went to the back stage where the trainers were (”THE DOLPHINS ARE SO CLOSE” - Junta) and were given the opportunity to give them a hand signal to jump. 

They discussed what to say while giving the hand signal, and Taku jokingly suggested “We found natural gas!” 

In the end of course it was “Ready sparking!” and the audience participated as well. 

After the dolphins and trainers left, Junta and Taku came to the front again to wrap up the show. Junta let us know it was almost over, to which the audience of course let out a “whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” and he was like “I love hearing that thank you.” 

He also joked that the show we saw was so good we may have released the seal on Shine. AND then when they were laughing about together he voiced Shin being like “No! Stop!” or something like that. It was so random and came so quickly from nowhere I couldn’t help but laugh. This may sound out of character for me, but when Junta Terashima is voicing Shin in pain but he has this huge smile on his face it just cracks me up. If you don’t understand, maybe you haven’t seen his smile. It’s amazing.

I also had no idea it was cool for him to just mention Shine like that. But then again, if they have Shine curry at AmoCafe then I guess it’s not officially classified as a a spoiler anymore. 

The show ended up being about an hour. Which was way longer than I thought it would be and incredibly worth the trip. 

I might have briefly caught Junta Terashima’s eye when they were leaving and/or entering the stadium. It’s fairly reasonable to think that I may have since they were right in front of me and a.) I’m a white girl in a sea of Japanese people and b.) I had a Shin doll in my boobs. (Okay tucked in my sweatshirt, not that risque, but still.) 

I know the chances of him both seeing me AND remembering me are pretty slim, but I really hope he did. Because the last time I saw him in person was at one of the greeting shows for SSS Part 1. Between then and now, a lot has happened. Part 4 came out, and I read an interview where he said he felt bad for Shin fans multiple times over what happened. 

I just want him to know that I’m still here and I’m still supporting Shin. 

What a day. 

PS. do seals always swim upside down or is this one just bored

[scifimagpie]

Elegy for a Mistake: My Toxic Friendship

My usual post style and topics tend to encompass writing techniques, analytical bits and riffs on TV and movies, or even the odd podcast. Once in a while, I turn my attention inward and try to offer lessons by example from my own experience. Today, I find myself talking about a humbling and painful, yet freeing experience: the release of an unhealthy friendship.

Normally, I'm a peppy, jocund, and self-assured writer, with solutions ready at hand by the time an article is ready to go. In public and private, I am known for my likeable and kind personality - though I would privately describe myself as a haplessly bumbling, well-intentioned blowhard.

Let us presume that both cases are simultaneously true. This time, I have only an ouroboros of self-doubt and a cautionary tale. Bear that in mind: this essay lacks an easy or blithe answer to the questions I've posed and struggled with.

A word of warning

To protect this person's anonymity, I will call them "Micah." I have changed their gender pronouns for this article to enhance their privacy as well. I won't talk about their personal circumstances at much length, either, for the same reasons. Figuring out their identity from context clues in my personal life and my blog is possible, but ultimately, unimportant.

For the same reason, I will not be including screenshots or "proof" or other receipts. I don't want to roast Micah's books or sabotage their career. (For reasons I will outline below, they do a great job of that on their own.)

Another big issue with Micah was my long-term working relationship with them. No matter how much you like someone and trust them, never work for free. More precisely, never work for free. or for exposure, or work trades if you find yourself shouldering a very unequal load.

I did this. I knew better - but Micah (and my own affection for them) let me talk myself into it over and over. And that was far from all that went wrong.

"Everyone has dead people," insisted Rocket Raccoon in the first Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Everyone has their share of mistakes, ghosts, demons, and regrets. Perhaps Micah had more demons than most. But at the time, I saw them as a dammed fine writer and a tough person, a marvel of endurance.

That's still true, but their coping techniques to maintain that survival were another matter. Micah had ways of judging people and justifying their reactions to relatively small incidents that, over time, caused a lot more harm than I realised at first.

The warning signs I ignored

The thing is, Micah had a thin skin and a very sharp tongue. They were happy to nitpick and harangue anyone and everyone - usually in the safety of our private messages. This included people who thought of them as a friend and authority.

Everyone has gripes with friends from time to time, nitpicks about media, and qualms about significant industry names. Micah had all of those - and a long memory to boot. Eve their partner was far from exempt from critique and bewailing.

Yet I was, until the end of our friendship, the one person almost always exempt from these critiques. Not that I always got praise, but the mildest compliments were gold in the context of their otherwise unceasing criticism.

Surely this seems like an unflattering picture, but consider, reader, the burden of guilty pleasure that lies at my feet. I did not think I was complicit in their unhealthy patterns of criticism; I would sometimes softly defend people, but always in private.

On many occasions, I took the brunt of a fight to defend their honour - from a person who often had no idea Micah was offended. But I got to be the one good person in the world, who measured up - until I didn't.

But even before the change in tenor and tone, things were starting to go wrong. I was avoiding my favorite social media platform and my many friends there, because I dreaded the gloom and pain in Micah's messages. Our primary mode of communication was inevitably draining and depressing. Nobody has to be happy all the time, but unceasing misery is simply not okay.

The problem

While Micah and I do struggle with similar mental health issues, they had many severe physical issues to boot. I let this excuse their temper, their dark moods, and sometimes arbitrary coping mechanisms fat more than I should. They refused to deal with their mental health issues with medication or supervision - even though said issues were life-threatening.

And I, who normally would have spoken up about that, kept tolerating it.

Micah went to no small effort to convince me they knew best for themselves...even though the benefit of hindsight makes me question that deeply.

The problem is that Micah's depression was thick in their writing, and I think - I know - it sometimes negatively affected my own. Refusing to write happy or happier stories that were "not true to their experience, " they chased off potential fans and professional allies with endless cutting and overly specific arguments.

But I found their positions and their writing eminently defensible. They were very good at articulating arguments which I found persuasive.

When Micah excoriated me on a thread in public, in private, and on Twitter at various points, over a variety of issues, I began to question the state of our friendship. I think it's pretty fair to say that most of us know it's not good form to rip a buddy a new one "in public" or in private, as it were. Especially when, say, you actually agree on an issue, but have failed to state things in the exact way they require and prefer - and when that is an offense meriting a hard scoldin', it's a sign that something's awry.

Unfortunately, smart people can talk themselves into anything.

The fallout

I was unable to complete a dark and melancholy book for Micah, and they had a mental health crash - which was,  by that point, indistinguishable from their usual state. They said they wanted to talk less to me because they were deeply hurt that I hadn't recognized the toll of their books on my own mental health - even though I told them as soon as I realised it was a problem, and had found a reasonable way to articulate it. (That took probably 36 hours, for the record. I was unable to criticize their books to myself before that point.)

They were deeply upset, and I blamed myself - for their mental health crash, just as they wanted me to. Realising that I could no longer work for free or be fast enough, I found myself questioning many things about their books - and even Micah themselves.

I even asked a celebrity (whom they'd caused me to pick a fight with by complaining at length about her "horribly offensive, ableist" perspective that writing books too fast and immediately publishing them does not result in good books) for her insight.

Jenny Trout was kind enough to hear me out, and even warn me that a friend like Micah may not be a real friend. That really made me think. Ms. Trout was so eminently reasonable, and I thought about how repetitive Micah's books had been lately, and I just couldn't disagree with her point.

When we continued discussing the topic, Micah had the temerity to refer to artistic writers (as opposed to commercial writers) as "blowhards". When I admitted that had offended me, they took the tack of insinuating that ghostwriting, editing, or enhancing are "not real" writing, or part of a shadowy underground industry, not deserving respect as part of the industry (even though ghostwriting and editing have been present in writing for as long as books have been made.)

Frustrated and upset beyond communication, I had to get my partner to write the message saying I needed a break from Micah.

I spent the next two weeks in agonizing tension, worrying about the future of our friendship. About twelve days into the proposed three-week hiatus, I messaged Micah to check in, hesitantly extending an olive branch.

They ripped into me, accusing my partner and myself of unhealthy and unsafe behaviour towards them - for sending a short, clipped message in the middle of a hard mental health crisis.

As I stared at the screen and skimmed through their messages, I had to face the facts: I would never be good enough for Micah.

I was bound to bump into their exacting rubric of communications and requirements eventually. It had finally happened.

But when I realised I needed to end things, I felt almost deliriously free. I spent a good week smiling and laughing more, and enjoying a generally great mood. But then I had to think about everyone I had blocked or critiqued or mocked with Micah, and the way they encoraged me to shred others. In all, it is almost a wonder that through my relationship with them, I kept the vast majority of my friends.

How does one proceed?

Having patience for friends with mental health issues and complex disabilities is vitally important. Learning to talk about people and vent in private, rather than picking fights or airing the pettiest of grievances, are both important. How do I use the best of what Micah taught me while critiquing their perspectives after the fact? Is hard to say what would be different if we had never become close, but there will be no escaping their impact on my music taste, writing, and memories.

There are no tidy answers or how-to charts to figure out whether a friend simply has complex needs, or is facilitating and enabling your bad habits. Unhealthy friendships can also involve a lot of mentorship, support, and intimacy. If they were straightforwardly awful, they wouldn't last.

but at present. I seem to be, for the first time in my life, unencumbered by any toxic relationships. I have more energy and time for my friends and chosen family, and even my partners (my original partner Andrey, and our queerplatonic housemate Kit).

All I can do is try to wrap my head around both how much and how little I really lost, and apply my lessons to improve my friendships with others, ensuring they feel heard and cared for. At the same time, I must remain safe and self-critical enough to avoid perpetrating the abusive cycle and behaviors all survivors must constantly guard against.

At the end of the day, they left me with conjecture,. and not much else. I thought we were the closest of friends....yet I never heard their voice, met them - or even knew their given name. And there is only so much you can love a friend who won't share their true self with you.

*** Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime, housemate, and their cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and nightmares, as well as social justice issues. She is currently working on the next books in her series, other people's manuscripts, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible. Catch up with Michelle's news on the mailing list. Her books are available on Amazon, and she is also active on Medium, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and the original blog.