#i am smart gay and correct all the time

[bengiyo]

Century of Love Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Vee decided that he wanted to steal the stone to heal his grandmother, and so pushed San to let him live in the house. Vee wanted to get into the locked room, and was eventually let in by San. Vee also learned that San has suffered every night for a century. Vee also tried to seduce that man, leading to another wet dream. Nephew came back to start shit again. Goons kidnapped grandpa, and then one of them snuck into the house, stole the stone, and stabbed Vee!

Ah, Grandpa wasn't kidnapped. They just wanted them all away from the house.

Watch enough Thai dramas and you start to recognize the hospital hallways.

I hope that was a decoy stone intended to be stolen to learn who their enemy was.

Nephew! I knew it was you!!

In typical drama fashion, we have to reveal exactly how we outsmarted the enemy.

Not only does Daou look great in this hoodie, it makes it easy for any stunt doubles.

Oooh a car chase.

WELP, DROWNING IN A CAR IS ONE OF MY PRIMAL FEARS.

Don't worry, Vee, they don't know you also tried to steal the stone.

I do like that Vee is having fun teasing San. I haven't forgotten his homelessness story from last week.

Oh that was a good cut from the bench back to the room.

POND PONLAWIT

It's interesting that Vee knows Third already. We're gonna flip multiple dynamics in this lifetime. Already thinking about the observation from I think @mysterygrl20 that this time around San pushed Vee into a loveless marriage.

San looks familiar to Third! The plot thickens.

Juu is my favorite. She will never give San a break.

Now, San, no one said anything mean about you; that was all you. Vee is also correct that he doesn't have to prioritize the lore about previous lifetimes, especially when San insists that he isn't Vad.

Honestly, I'm totally down to see what kind of romantic chemistry Pond and Offroad can build with these characters. They can play out this jealousy plot for a bit if I can get that.

LOL, Juu. She does not want to follow them.

I feel like the dino art reaction is a play on Daou's fandom thing.

I'm with Juu. He barks orders like an old man, and then he wants a friend.

A balloon arch! How fancy.

An upside down book. It's a common trope, but now I want to watch Goblin again.

Oh good. I was hoping Vee would catch them in the picture.

That's right, Vee, tell his old ass that he has no right to control you. You're allowed to entertain suitors!

OOF. Vee is taking this in stride, but it definitely hurts to be shunned.

Not this show getting me to root for Third! I am such a sucker for second chance romance for the gays.

WHY LIGHT THE FIREWORKS IF HE AIN'T ACTUALLY KISS THAT MAN?? SPARKS ARE NOT ENOUGH!!

I'm happy for Vee that he got a response out of San, but curious how he navigates more interactions with Third next week.

This show is so smart, and is having a lot of fun interrogating its own premise. I like the implication of Trai being reincarnated as Third, and having a genuine relationship with Vee that he wants to turn into romance, whereas San is being possessive of Vee in a way that's about someone else entirely. San has to also build a real relationship with Vee, and it's good that the show knows that. We noted that Vad and Vee have similar features, but I'm curious what the investigation into those relatives will turn up and if there is a female Vad doppelganger with the same birthday as Vee.

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

The Sides Are Dorks, Part 389534

I was wondering why the Sanders Sides tag was trending earlier, and then I saw. the Video. Anyway, here's my thoughts while watching the new vid (in list format) bc I haven't done this in a while.

[it's gonna be LONG knowing me]

"I would never be caught dead in a bowtie" *cuts to when Janus literally wore a bowtie in canon*

"yeah and I deserve it" -> ha mood

"Wrong, I ate an entire bottle of melatonin gummies" -> Patton. Patton, no.

"I could switch to green tea, and I'll still be a bitch!" -> also mood

hey. hey why you do that. why would you say that. (aka: Roman is offended by the mustache comparison)

"Where is my ruler" -> PLEASE it'd be so fucking funny

Virgil really be like "WRONG! I use the tildas you faker" (/j) (/lh)

Patton starts listing off every appliance that has heat stuff and I cannot. I CANNOT--

^and then there's the fridge. what did Fridge ever do to you? where's the lorreee

"wholesome friendship" // "how many holes we talkin'" -> yeah that makes sense

"No, he's just not worth an attack" -> Logan sounds like he's thought about this before

Roman Unscrews Imaginary Lightbulb, reaction is a family-friendly version of "Listen here, you little shit"

"get him" -> Virgil hates that Anxiety so much

Emile Picani Joins the Ranks of Rat Man by Sleeping in the Buff. it's canon now.

"It's no one's business what bites me" -> Janus. Janus, the implications. Janus--

Patton reveals Logan's secret: Love for Donuts, feat. wiggly fingers

"Which is rude...because I am not young" -> also Sheldon is missing The Tie, which is essential for Serious Smart People (I guess)

Roman likes My Little Pony

"No, I didn't--" // "He did!" // "He definitely did." -> LMAO the Others confirming that Virgil had a meme phase

Ah yes: The Sponsor Section

Patton being like "some cookies are bad??" is funny to me lol

"--vaccuums" // "No" // "ignore that last one" -> goddamnit Patton (/pos)

"There sneaky people out there" *cuts to Janus*

Roman loves Barbie movies. Barbie Movie? whatever, he likes Barbie

"war against the evil cookies" // "wait--" -> haha. this is why I believe in Intruality so much

"I dropped another laptop in the toliet" -> another one?

conclusion: Patton and Remus are both accident-prone. an Intruality win. also they interacted for like, 2 seconds. another Intruality win

Sponsor Ends!

"ACTUALLY it was four times. bitch." (Sleep, basically)

okay but like. when the glasses are on the head, it's like they're invisible. I say as someone who loses their glasses, only to find them in stupidly obvious places. also mood

Virgil DEFINITELTY watched Patton do this for five minutes before he said anything

Roman is in love with his sword, Exhibit D

^(D is for--)

Logititties. that's all

Janus really said "wanna go, bitch?"

also: "I wouldn't be caught dead in a fish fight. I would poison you" -> ah, of course, a snake with style (/j)

"calculator is computer" // "that's technically correct, actually" -> where's the Logicality enjoyers when you need them

Roman Rage Quits at Roblox. also Insecurity

"bitch, I'm not that out there" -> this helps deduce the scale of What The Fuck Is Remus's Normal At

"True...or is it false?" -> he loves fucking with people, doesn't he?

"yeah" -> he sounds so resigned, nooo :(

Endcard Moment: Logan loves jelly-filled donuts

and that's it, folks! This was lovely. Silly gay personality traits.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #02 & #01 (Finale)

02. CZECHIA Vesna - "My sister's crown" 10th place

Decade ranking: 5/116 [Above Daði Freyr, below Käärijä]

Finland over Czechia seems like a no-brainer. Some midcarding bitches vs ~K*Ä*Ä*R*I*J*Ä~ come on, how hard can it be? Who is Czechia even for?!

ME, motherfucker. This entry is for ME, and FOR ME ALONE!!! and since this is MY ranking, that made the decision very difficult. It took me MONTHS to settle who to put at the top.

Vesna are often cited as one of the more overrated acts in the year. Overrated by whom? Who overrates Vesna? Isn't 10th a correct placement? i've met NO ONE who would even consider putting them as high as second? - and I obv don't count since it took me AN ETERITY to out myself as a Vesna stan!!

I'd counter that Czechia are THE MOST UNDERRATED by the fandom (not by placement - that is Slovenia, as always) and absolutely deserved all the good things that happened to them ^_^

So obviously, there are multiple factors at work here. The song is a fantastic earworm. Like, defo one of the best in the year? In terms of sheer replayability, "My Sister's Crown" is on the same level as "Edgar" (studio only :-/) and "Carpe Diem", and you know how much I value those. The song has four languages (including Bulgarian) and none of them clash. The lyrics are quotable and fun. This is a track with ATTITUDE and ZEST, that managed to criticize the war in Ukraine without beating us over the head with it via a poorly hidden, clumsily written political message. The song is SMART, and respects its listeners.

LOVE'S NOT A MONEY BAG BLOOD'S ON YOUR GOD'S HANDS YOU CANNOT STEAL OUR SOULS

However, going into the year, there were issues - Vesna were messy and dissonant, and the six girls often gave the impression of competing against each other for attention. They were not a UNIT. Although "My Sister's Crown" was always one of the best songs, many (including myself!) were sceptical it could come together.

And it did, spectacularly.

See, one of the things about this year is that the good performances and good songs were often mismatched. Albania, Estonia and Poland had great on-stage glam-ups, but they were severely hampered by the songs being what they were. Other countries such as France and Austria had good songs, but required really good acts to tie them together, and failed or, in case of say UK, has good acts that were performed badly.

If you made a Venn Diagram between the best songs and the biggest growers, there wouldn't be much overlap. Except for Czechia.

To quote Matteo Lane's pearl of wisdom; if there's only ONE GAY, everything gets done! Ahmad Malloun was the One Gay and channeled his bossbottom energy to fuss Vesna into shape. Suddenly, the girls were harmonious and disciplined and that made all the difference. Suddenly, Czechia had an act with a clear vision - Six women united visually through their outfits. Vesna had become a UNIT, united through sisterhood.

SESTRO KRASIVA OI TI SILYNA HOROBRA JEDINA KORONA TVOJA

It really doesn't get mentioned nearly often enough how amazing the Czech staging was. Sure, Loreen and Käärijä, both top notch. But this is my personal favourite of the bunch. It's a visually stunning, avant garde act that fits the music, that fits the thematics, that pulls you in and tells a story without overtly complicating matters. They start as a group of angry hexaplets and then burst into joyful sororian rapture at the end. The staging is both aesthetically pleasing and intuitive. They hit the gold standard for acts that everyone should try to strive for!!

There are times where I wonder whether I really should rank Vesna above Käärijä. My Sister's Crown fully morphed into a me-coded entry. And perhaps, if and when I watch 2023 again, I may do exactly that. For now though, I've decided against it. The argument for Finland is less complicated, so I went with that. And now for the winner of this ranking I am sure NOBODY saw coming ever:

-------------------------------------------------------------

01. FINLAND Käärijä - "Cha Cha Cha" 2nd place

Decade ranking: 4/116 [Above Vesna, below Chanel]

It's Käärijä, bitch.

I rest my case for ranking Finland first. I don't think anyone argues this as invalid? Good, let's pick it all apart because if there's anything Käärijä deserves, it is being talked about. 😉

So um, where to start? Maybe it's best to start with the song - "Cha Cha Cha" was that rare 1-in-500 entry. I always say that novelty always tends to become stale over time - once in a blue moon however, it endures. "Cha Cha Cha" is a novelty song that is also an excellent song in its own right, and it stil holds up very well. It's a fun song to listen to, even without all the circus and theatrics.

The circus and theatrics though, omg <3 Talk about a DELECTABLE act, once again. This is yet again an example of how staging compliments the song and makes it digestible. Cha Cha Cha is entirely in Finnish with only a few loan words tossed in - difficult to get into on paper. The staging however, brings the plot points home.

The song's about wanting to overcome anxieties to dance? So break from the crates

Confront the inner Dance Demons that harass your psyche

make your way to the dancefloor while dodging decapitation via errant wires.

and then, when you overcome all fears transition to that godly, campy key chance, ride your them, having overcome your inhibitions.

AND I GALLAVANT ON THE FLOOR LIKE A CHA CHA CHA AND MY ANXIETIES HAVE NO GRIP ON ME NO MORE

The act is BRILLIANT. The ballroom dancers with their creepy pearly-whites, the dorkopotamus choreography, the styling, the overwhelming sense of triumph once the key change hits... It's the same deal as Vesna and Loreen, just a handful of visual cues that visualize the song's themes (anxiety, rather than sisterhood or desolation) are easy to understand and don't further complicate matters. THIS is how it's done. This is how you Eurovision.

The magical ingredient that tied it all together was the man, the dad bod, the bolero himself - Käärijä. Talk about a personality so massive everything gravitated towards him. It's hard to put the extent of his likeability into words - he's just so disarmingly himself. The key here is that Käärijä doesn't see himself as anything special. To him, he's just "boy from Vantaa who likes queen Loreen". He's just self-aware enough to realize the effect he has on others, but not self-aware enough to understand what exactly endears him to so many people. So when Käärijä plays up for funsies, he magnifies all aspects of his personality which makes him... even more endearing. 😍

(it's the same magic dust that has people flock to Baby Lasagna this year, really.)

It's rare to have a contestant who managed to completely warp the meta around him to this extent. It's even more rare that the contestant in this position then loses the competition. I remember telling my friend André, who was behind on NF news, that Käärijä had won UMK, and he replied with an innocuous "great, I haven't been this excited for a contestant since Verka!". I think I realize in that moment, that was to be Käärijä's destiny. Verka was the Hot Favourite in their year, the breakout star of 2007 - and Verka placed second to a more competent entry (Molitva <3). It was in that moment that I knew that Käärijä's inevitable fate was to come second to Loreen.

And I feel like, we all knew deep down that was where we were headed. We all wanted Käärijä to win as much as we did, because we knew that he would not. He was blissfully cruising towards a loss, and that was too much of an injustice to accept it and not manifest a reality where he beats Sweden.

It even got to a point where some people are now retroactively trying push the notion Tattoo is better than Euphoria (that statement is more offensive than anything I've ever commited to print or speech, including the one time I called Lesley Roy frumpy on cam <3) and the best entry ever (excuse you?) largely because it beat Cha Cha Cha.

So if Käärijä is this great, then why the doubt? Why only fourth for the decade (for the moment)?

Well, it's same deal as Cornelia for me. The best live of Cha Cha Cha that we received was the first one, at UMK, and every other performance we've had since then was not as good. The one in Eurovision had terrible vocals and slightly less impressive staging compared to UMK. I know right? The ESC staging did MORE and yet accomplished LESS. They got rid of all the wrestling references? Where's the close-up at the end? The arena? THE LIFT?

Sure, these inaccuracies didn't detract from my personal enjoyment of Cha Cha Cha. They however did allow for Käärijä to fall behind far enough behind Loreen in the jury vote so that he could no longer catch up with her in the televote, like a death by a thousand paper cuts.

It was a great live, but it wasn't great enough to win. Eurovision Käärijä was not Käärijä at his best, while Vesna without question gave their best performance in the Grand Final. Hence my doubts.

However, I ultimately went with Käärijä anyway because he did something Vesna could not - he gave a concert in my city, and I attended. HE MADE ME LEAVE THE HOUSE AFTER DARK. And god, if you've not been to a Käârijä gig before, absolutely fucking go if you're able to - IT'S CRAZY IT'S PARTY is the perfect catchphrase for this hyperactive, sexually amorphous, adorkable gremlin.

He was his unadulterated self, slapping his belly only vaguely aware of his sex appeal, swooning over a group of Slovene attendees because they reminded him of The Love Of His Life Bojan Cveticanin, ripping one of his merch t-shirts in half and then wearing it as a jacket, airdiving a wayward balloon that floated its way on the stage. The music was also excellent. Exposed to to the FULL scope of Käärijäness, made all the good memories of the 2023 preshow flow back, how could I not rank him anywhere other than first? Maybe I will change my mind and rank Vesna first in a few years from now, but for now, let's savour him while he's still fresh in our minds.

REMINDER THAT THE 2024 ROSTER IS GREAT LARGELY THANKS TO KÄÄRIJÄ.

REMINDER THAT HE WOULD SO WIN ANY FUTURE EUROVISION IF HE WANTED TO:

(May I just name this as my fave song from the 2024 nf season MAY I????*)

He WAS 2023. He WAS Eurovision.

He may have lost the contest, but he has won life. (and paid his taxes.)

ALL RISE FOR THE BEST ACT OF 2023!

The RANKING (completed)

"Novo, Bolje" was my fave 2024 NF also-ran. Obv.

ADDENDUM: ABOUT ESC2024

Yeah, obviously i'm not going to do a pre-show ranking. With all the poison and controversy going on, it's just not the right time. I delayed this ranking specificially so that I wouldn't be temped to do the 2024 one later. (Unlike a certain broadcasting institution, I possess a modest amount of insight, foresight and self-awareness. 🙂 )

Hopefully, ESC 2024 goes down without too many incidents, and I'll able to start my post-show ranking the week after the Grand Final.

See you there, hopefully, if Eurovision isn't dead and buried by then! 💚

[alchemist-shizun]

MYATB ep 11 commentary

LETS GOOOOOO, live reaction because i was at work for 6 hours right when the episode released!! enjoy me going insane

Xiaobao my son he's all grown up and trying to go about this the smart way, trying to convince Su Yin with logical reasons, he's amazing. Though Su Yin not wanting to listen to him breaks my heart, I MEAN THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HIM I THOUGHT HE WOULD COMPLY :(

i dont know what it is about them telling the horses to go but it's so fucking funny each time I hear it.

WhATS THIS RANDOM MURDER AOOO these strangers are bloodthirsty

the flying was incredibly off but it's fine we love this terrible green screen it makes it better <3

shaoyu appearing there menacingly, thank you

wdym he must get the crimson dahlia before he dies, DO U WANT TO KILL HIM AFTER AR EU NOT EVEN GONNA MAKE THE EFFORT well you know what su yin, well played, slay, I'd also be that lazy

"do you believe everything people say?" THANK YOU SIMING MY ONLY MAN EVER.

oh my god que siming stayed too much with jinbao now he's starting to lose braincells again

OOO SU YIN GAVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER??

HUAIEN!!!!!

HUAIEN WHAT THE FUCK. NOW YOURE BOTH POISONED.

"Can you save him?" "of course I can" QUE SIMING THE ONLY MAN EVER, ONCE MORE.

It's killing me how Huai'en is incredibly elated that Xiaobao is worried about him and is not in the slightest caring about the fact that he's poisoned

omfg don't tell me the side couple gets together behind the scenes fr I will SCREAM.

Why can't gay people be normal it's always "I love u so much I want to lock you up and never make you leave me ever" or "let me marry your bestie/servant or I will literally destroy you" wtf

"I think you need medical attention" no way que siming just told him he needs to be hospitalized /j su yin please just rest who cares about killing anyone

HAHHAHAHA ZHAOCAI AND XIAOBAO BEING SO SHOOK ABOUT JINBAO'S CONFESSION I love them. dumbasses.

your honor i love him ( #me)

zhaocai is just completely thunderstruck about jinbao's coming out

zhaocai is the token straight in this entire cast, he is revolted and disgusted by gay people and will become homophobic at the first next sight of que siming and I would understand

NOT THE TRANSITION FROM CUTE SCENE TO AGONY.

please stop this madness stop his pain I am going to CRY STOPPPPP

THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL THOUGH. I LOVE ANGSTY SCENES LIKE THIS MAN

theyre both gorgeous and make me feel sad

"If he comes back, what will you do with him" I'm going to kiss him AND U CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BOY

SU YIN JUST SAY YOU HAVE INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND GO please

when you ask su yin any relationship advice:

i hope that was not su yin nearly crying because I cannot do this

THE SHADOWS ARE BACK

why do those look nearly like su yins robes, huai'en do u have smth to tell us..

xiaoyu singlehandedly saves the plot

I love xiaoyu because when the guy drops all the lore shes like UNFORTUNATELY I COULDNT CARE LESS

UNFORTUNATELY, HUAI'EN COULDNT CARE LESS EITHER GET THEMMM

me, seeing a strange move: what was that :0 also me seeing a weird fx: ... and what was that-

omfg not shaoyu. shaoyu is gonna get himself fuckin killed

OMFG ENOUGH TWISTS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

what an icon li gongxiang

OH SU YIN AND QUE SIMING ARE HERE??

su yin oh my god. oh my god stop playing the jealous bf please I'm begging u he has two hands

WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE MARRY XIAOBAO ARE U INSANE. -100 AURA POINTS FOR YOU. WHAT EWWW

SROP STOP STOP MY BOY IS CRYING ON THE GROUND IN FRONT OF EVERYONE LET ME GO CUDDLE HIM PLEASE. PLEASE. WHY MUST U BE THIS CRUEEEEELLLL

"the more I want you the faster I lose you" RIP HUAI'EN YOU WOULDVE DONE NUMBERS ON TUMBLR.

well. that was it. wow what an episode. i thought we weren't going to suffer like tormented ants tonight and here I stand corrected.. i really thought su yin would cave to xiaobao's feelings and turn over a new leaf with huai'en but I guess I was wrong :( I WANT THOSE THREE TO BE HAPPY U DONT GET IT. THEIR DYNAMIC WOULD BE SO TASTY, as I'm sure others have realized

the little twist was nice, i was very sure that Li guy was cooked and instead no. Siming was still a chaos queen, zhaocai a mood, jinbao our beloved idiot and xiaobao victim of many torturous aches, I hope the shadows are okay and me? i just want to throw myself in the river if I cannot enter the screen and hug huai'en immediately. Thank you, see u tomorrow for another one pf these.

[quijabored]

AAAAA I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY SAY THIS BUT I BINGED LIKE 7 EPISODES OF THE 4TH SEASON OF BSD AND I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS I NEED TO SAY THAT I FORGOT TO ACTUALLY SAY

Younger Odasaku please I love him

I MET NIKOLAI!! MY SON!! MY SILLY GUY!!! THE SKRUNKLY!!!

He shot like 3 people in a single episode and killed several more, BUT HES SO SILLY??? LIKE I ALREADY HAD AN IDEA OF HOW HE ACTED BUT DEAR GOD???

ALSO I MET THE HUNTING DOGS!! (I think thats what theyre called-)

JOUNO??? HES SO??? PRETTY????

I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM YET BUT HE SEEMS COOL, SUSPICIONS WERE CORRECT

ALSO TETCHOU LOOKS AO PRETTY AND ETHERAL AND I LOVE HIM HE IS BEING ADDED TO THE BABYGIRL COLLECTION

FUKUCHI SEEMS SILLY TOO SO YIPPEE FOR NOW!!

AND TERUKO??? SHE SEEMS SO SILLY I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHH AAAAAA I REALLY HOPE WE GET TO SEE MORE OF HER CUZ SHE JUST SEEMS SO SILLY??

Now I just have to hope no one becomes a character I absolutely despise :3

Aaaa speaking of which, FYODOR?? HELLO???

HES SUCH A BITCH I HATE THAT MAN, STUPID MINIPULATIVE SMART ASS MAN

(Hes at top 3 now, Akutagawas still my favorite but Fyodors very high up on my favorite. Would let that man skin me alive with a dull stick 🙏)

Man I love having like 14 favorite characters cuz that means if any of them die I can just focus on another favorite character :D

Unless it's Akutagawa I really hope he stays alive I'd have to mourn for like 3 weeks

ASAGIRIS GOT NOTHING ON ME, HE CAN KILL WHO HE WANTS BUT IM NOT RUNNING OUT OF FAVORITES THIS TIME (Traumatized from jjba legit all my favorites died in that show)

ALSO POES EXTREMELY GAY BRO FYM RIVAL YOU GUYS ARE DATING

Also I felt like Jouno and Tetchou were gonna be shipped because of the whole "I hate you the most in this organization" And I was right, so I'm trying to figure out which one I should adopt

On one hand Jounos silly and adorbs, BUT TETCHOUS JUST SO PRETTY AND I LOVE THE LITTLE HEARTS/TRIANGLES/SHAPE THINGS BY HIS EYES AND AHDAKDSJD HES JUST SO PRETTYYYY

I KNOW FOR A FACT IM ADOPTING TEROKU SHES MY DAUGHTER AND I LOVE HER

ALSO THE WAY CHUUYA CAME BY IN THE HELICOPTER WITH THAT TWINK ASS POSE LIKE??? AGHHHH CHUUYAAAAAA

Also Nikolai saying Fyodor was the only one who understood him?? Sounds kinda gay bird boy 🤨🤨🤨

I do really like his analogies with birds though, they make me go yippee

ALSO I KNEW POE WAS RICH BUT I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS THAT RICH DEAR GOD

Also quick question do I get more content to froth at the mouth for when Fyolai?? Or am I gonna have to overanalyze every sentence and sound delusional?

[oingomyboingos]

i’m so frustrated on past me’s behalf. stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

i’m in high school coming out as bi. every time i walk to class strangers ask me if i’m a lesbo because they saw me and my partner holding hands. gay friends start making useless lesbian jokes about me. I don’t have the heart to correct them because for once they’re seeing something about me as funny and they at least don’t call me slurs. I am called a lesbian by other bi women because “you don’t date men.” I don’t really date much of anyone after my ex. i’m confused

i’m in undergrad coming out to relatives and getting told by family that “it’s all a phase.” even my aunt who is bi tells me, well-meaningly, that “you don’t know who’s out there, could be lots of guys for you.” I cannot describe why the idea of being with a man as I am makes a scared animal try to claw its way out of my chest. I start identifying as a lesbian, so as to avoid thinking about it.

I’m in senior year laying on the floor. the ceiling fan blades spin overhead. unrelated, I am going to vomit. related, I am a boy. sometimes. and something else indescribable. but I like being a girl? what do I do with my hand sewn skirts and corsets? my head is in a panic but the beast in my chest has finally found some rest.

I am a graduate student stuck living at my parents’ house during lockdown. I feel trapped, but my friends help me think about things other than family troubles. we watch bad dating shows and one friend yells at me for commenting on the bodies of the men. I am not allowed to have comments on men she finds attractive. “you’re a lesbian, no one cares what you think about them anyway.” “lesbian” not “dyke” or “lesbo,” but the word still stings with a familiar smart. it feels more like a cage than a safeguard at this point.

I am living on my own. one of my coworkers who loves playing matchmaker tries to set me up with my other coworker. I cannot get the words “sorry i’m a dyke” to come out of my mouth. somehow, they get stuck between my tonsils. I share that I think i might be bi with a different friend. we get high and her boyfriend tries to use me as their unicorn, without either her or I’s prior consent or conversation. My mental health spirals.

I move in with friends. I am happier than I have ever been. I buy a binder and give myself an asthma attack from how much euphoria I have from being able to run up and down the stairs without bouncing. I wear a vest and trousers. I start a collection of silly hats and sunglasses. I schedule a top surgery consult. I avoid getting insurance approval. that would make it all feel too real. I don’t deserve nice things.

I am still trying to muster up the courage to figure out when I am doing something that brings me joy, and when I am simply on the path of least resistance. by now, I know myself enough that joy has an easier to make out outline. I know the path to it. it’s just getting there that’s the problem. crawling uphill while my own insecurities pile in a mountain beneath my feet.

it is twelve past five in the morning and I am writing this. I don’t know why—but it feels good. my gender and my sexuality feed off each other in odd loops, and i’ve never heard anyone else talk about something like this before. maybe shouting into this void will help find others. maybe it will just give me the space to air it out. I need to email my psychiatrist about my insurance letter. thinking of it makes me anxious. but I will try and sleep now. tackle those mountains tomorrow.

[lutawolf]

The Eighth Sense Ep 1

So fucking pretty. We've just started, and already the cinematography has captured my appreciation.

Damn! The Chemistry is off the chain from the start. I really wanted to smack his boss for telling him he is slow all the time, but she's growing on me.

Oh damn, we got some foreshadowing with that "worry free" comment. Then his friend goes and bonks his head. I would never do something like that 👀👀👀

The stalking is giving me second hand embarrassment. Just saying. I mean, not that I blame him. I would follow that fine ass, too. And he finds out he is a surfer without incident! But who should find him in the cafeteria! I mean, if I ran into someone this many times, then I'm just saying. It might be fate.

That sass! After stalking him, know less. Is poor boy afraid of falling in love. And home dude isn't even worried about the tude, he just removed the rice like a good knight in shining rice removing armor.

How can he give you are ring when he doesn't know your number! Go away, friend, you are being a dick blocker.

We always know our friends passwords. It's a thing. @ellaspore and @victooooorious how many passwords of mine do you know? It's a thing, right! I mean, are you really friends if you don't share passwords?!?

He's an artist!!! And dude do I relate to this kid. I, too, am among the directionally challenged club.

HAHAH he wants to get where his buddy works! And look at him looking around. So cute. Damn some friends, trying to wing man him. Can't you read the room! He wants to kiss the boy.

Oh, damn! I would kick a besties' ass for that. And here comes the kid. He is adorable.

Stalker! This is the correct way to stalk. And aren't they awkwardly cute.

He joined the surf club, and he can't even swim... Man, that's... Not smart, but kind of romantic, I guess. Honestly, though, I like his friend. He's very laid back and chill.

Aww he sat with the newbie. Isn't he sweet.

How incredibly gay, but like in the best possible way. Just damn. So fucking cute!

[heartofhubris-a]

HIIII tell us abt vik ong i am so interested in hearing abt him

HIIII oh my god my baby

here's what my very special boy looks like, he loves his green hair

Ok so. Some of his story is still filtering in, but I gotta stipulate this with Vik's not a great guy but he's not like. I mean look, it doesn't take much to be a decent person in Halcyon.

So. Vik had been born in Québec, Canada,* in 2238. Though thye started life in the countryside, allowing Vik a robust knowledge of guns and weapons, as well as general care of the land, promotions demanded taht Vik's family move closer into the city. Though none were too happy about the smaller house and the lack of privacy, they made due. His parents' middle management positions allowed for a cushy job if he or his brother, or his 2 sisters so wanted. Most of his siblings turned to Manuel labor instead, and Vik was able to get a decent job as a typist, where he was very happy. Unfortunately, this did lead to some mild arthritis in his fingers, though he does not mention that pain. Vik was well in his 50s by the time that the Groundbreaker and the Hope were about to take off. However, his knowledge from childhood was still marked as a skill if UDL ever wanted to poach him for guard or security details.

Now, still on earth, this is when Vik messed up. Propaganda always gets people. When he started hearing some of the conversations his family and friends were having, he got scared of what could happen, and reported them to the correct officials. Their fines were so high to some of the corporations, that most ended up agreeing to indentured instead of forfeiting their lives. Quickly, he changed from typing at a keyboard to holding a gun and reacquainting himself with looking down the sites on his guns. He fell back in practice quickly, proving himself a valuable asset for the frontier of this celestial system. After all, having the scientists on the Hope die immediately from the flora and fauna wouldn't be that smart.

Most of the people he knew ended up on the Groundbreaker and helped build Terra 2. Quite a few died from raptadons, though some managed to make it through the Fall of Cascadia. Others were kept on the Groundbreaker, but as Vik was the reason that most of his loved ones were even there, he was never mentioned, Ergo, Those that he ends up meeting on the Groundbreaker and Terra 2 have no idea the connection they share (Braxton Hecht was the son of one of his friends). Essentially, in trying to repair the damage he did to everyone he cared about, Vik lost everyone. He hoped that someone on the Hope would be a familiar face, though he functionally knew that he was finally, truly alone in the universe.

Half of his attempt of saving Halcyon, Viktor is mute, and only feels comfort tlaking when his crew is with him in some form. Each of his relationship is flavored slightly differently; with Felix and Parvarti, Vik is at ease and goofy, constantly telling dad jokes and rarely bringing up sad topics. He's always there to remind them they're valuable to him and the rest of the crew. Nyoka and Vik have spent a few too many nights at the table, and if anyone finds them passed out on the table in the morning, it's not mentioned. Ellie tried to keep Vik at arms length, and he respected it, but will still make an effort to remind her that she's still part of the crew.

Now, Vik realized he was gay when he was young, but never found a person who complimented his energy just right. He'd all but given up on finding a long term partner, happy as he was being a paternal figure to some people, and screwing around as he did when he needed someone in bed with him. Then, he met Max and immediately was taken with the anger that the Vicar had. The pure determination took Vik, and he decided within twenty minuets of getting the task to get that journal, that Vik would pull apart that Vicar and build him back up. In no small part, Max was what pushed Vik to actually save the colony, even if he never approached max about it. Vik had already decided this would be his last attempt at love, and if it didn't work, he'd be fine.

Only to end up saving Halcyon with the aide of a mad scientist.

*as a note, Vik is entirely able to speak french. He does not translate the journal Because "it's not french. It's Québécois". It is entirely french. Max walks in on Vik one night reading the journal and it spirals into a fight. They get over it rather quickly by. No. I shant say.

[danandphilchronology]

Sebastian: Universe Defender + Psycho Boyfriend!

Sebastian: Universe Defender

Psycho Boyfriend!

Sebastian: Universe Defender

I’m going to ditch the wayback machine for a while. I might decide to take a peak and let you know what else was going on in the YouTube community, but I’m going to shift my focus to the content! We are starting today with a video uploaded in October of 2008 and based solely on the title and the little bit of the description I can see right off the bat, I am thinking that Phil is blessing me with another short film style video. 

I am interested to see what his content continuous to grow as while he is back at University! From what I know of the Phil Lore, he has graduated with is bachelors already (correct me if I’m wrong) and he is working on his Masters in Video Post Production at University of York. 

Something that I think is very interesting is at how quickly we (as a society of social media consumers) are so quick to discount content creators intelligence and smarts. Dan and Phil are perfect examples of this because of the fun and ditzy content they create. They are some very down to earth creators who are not afraid to connect with their audience, but, at the end of the day, they are some of the most well performing and creative content creators. Between the two of them they have a handful of films, a career on radio, three New York Times #1 best selling books, three world wide tours, and two original games. They were, and arguably still are, a social media empire all on their own, but the internet, and even their most loyal followers, discount their wit and smarts because silly little twink duo make booby joke. 

ANYWAY, we are here to react to a 15 year old AmazingPhil video, not write a novel on how poorly the internet treats it’s creators.

This immediately have me deja vu (which I think was the point considering the drink in the video is literally called deja vu), so I looked back in my notes to see if this was reminding me of something we had already watched OR if I am thinking of one of his more recent videos. I didn’t find anything blaringly obvious, so I am going to make a mental note to keep an eye out for anything like this in the future. The closest think I could find was Jonathan and Mary Beth Argue with the sprite, but… it is not the same thing. Someone needs to really tell Phil not to take things from Stangers, especially those in long trench coats with suspiciously packaged sodas. This video, while short, is actually such a fun and creative idea about timeloops and what could be the pointlessness in attempting to travel back in time to stop something from happening. Honestly, such a fun video. Would watch again. 

Total Watch Time 27m 12s

Psycho Boyfrined!

I am immediately interested based solely on the title because I am disgusting. That is, honestly, the only reason. I love looking back at older videos and overanalyzing moments in order to say things like “omg was that a soft gay?”, and I used to feel back about it until Dan and Phil reacted to all the PINOF videos, and now I feel like I have been allowed. Anyway this video is less than a minute, so I don’t expect to get much out of it, but it has 1.3 million views, so maybe its worth the watch.

… Phil is so clearly attracted to vampires that it is uncomfortable. This video has the same energy as his newest AITA. Like “who cares if he got hit by a car. He is already at the hospital” and “she didn’t die or anything and I get the day off”. Phil really is Mr. Silver Lining. This was actually crazy and I don’t even know what else to say about it…

Total Watch Time 27m 51s

[emilygail]

Heartstopper Season 1, Episode 2

Welcome back to my Heartstopper Feelings Diary where I make a list of my favorite moments in Heartstopper. And by favorite what I really mean is a list of moments that gave me ✨feelings.✨ Today we are talking about S1E2.

1: The way Nick completely lost it when Charlie stopped texting him back and sent him like 5 in a row. He was so worried about Charlie, and that was what allowed Charlie to open up to him about his relationship with Ben.

2: Charlie was clearly testing Nick by calling him his supportive straight friend and was so disappointed when Nick didn’t correct him.

3: The way Nick realized Charlie got a haircut and reached out to play with his hair. Then he said “no you look - it looks great!” because he was nervous about complimenting another boy. 🥺

4: The whole snow scene. We see Charlie borrowing one of Nick’s jumpers for the first time. The boys take selfies with Nellie, who might be the prettiest dog ever. And the whole time, the song in the background says, “I think I really like you.”

5: The introduction of Imogen! Listen I know a lot of people don’t like her, but I really do. I think she was a smart addition to the story for the show. Specifically when we first meet her, Nick was trying to ask Charlie to hang out again. But when she makes a joke about sliding into someone’s DMs, he freaks out and deletes the message.

6. Every single moment when Nick comes to hang out at Charlie’s house. Charlie holds his hands to help him play the drums. My absolute favorite moment in season 1 happens when Charlie falls asleep watching the movie. Nick gets brave and reaches out to take his hand, and he gets fireworks when his hand gets close. twice. And of course, Nick calling Charlie cuddly and giving him an extra long hug. Tarted too much cuteness I can’t.

7: Of course after all that fluff, the episode ended with Nick googling “am i gay?” Poor baby is so confused. And to really twist the knife in my heart, the song says, “why am i like this” as we fade to the credits.

Up next: episode threeeeee

[bengiyo]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....

10 Favorite Characters

You asked a broad question, so I hope you’re okay with answers outside of my daily posting. I post a lot about BL on here, but this list is a mild reminder that I am Black. As I’m putting this list together, I’m recognizing a common thread of ruthlessness in these characters that I will have to unpack at some point.

Omar Little (The Wire)

Omar is one of my favorite characters of all time because he was the first sympathetic gay character I ever watched on TV with my dad. As I got older, my dad decided I was old enough and wanted me to watch what he considered to be one of the greatest shows ever made (NOTE: He is correct). I was obsessed with Omar because of his strict code and how gentle and loving he was with his boyfriends. It was amazing to me that we had this powerful gay character in the middle of a modern Greek tragedy and he is one of the most compelling characters ever created in American television.  

Ender Wiggin (Ender’s Game)

One of the sad thing about growing up queer is the people who wrote a lot of your formative works hate queer people. Orson Scott Card was my first major disappointment in this regard. In the 7th grade, I discovered this book in our school library and ended up reading it and the related books multiple times throughout my adolescence.  I was a weird kid who was too smart for my own good. In middle school I struggled with feeling out of place because I was relatively new compared to most of these kids, and my family had me on a specific life track that meant that I had to perform at a high level constantly. I connected with Ender’s isolation and his brilliance. I also connected to his ruthlessness.

Marco (Animorphs)

Animorphs is a pretty dark series for a bunch of elementary school kids to read, but that was K. A. Applegate’s point. War is horrible, and should be avoided. Reading this series is a reading the perspective of child soldiers. There was something about the way Marco always masked with jokes, but was quietly the most ruthless member of their group that means he’s always the one I remember first. There were also the ways he commented on Ax and Jake that just didn’t read straight, and I’ve been relieved that Applegate and the ghost writers have acknowledged the fan read on Marco’s bisexuality. I just love how from appearances at the end of the series Marco is actually okay after all the war, but he absolutely is not.

Benjamin Sisko (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

He was our first Black captain in Star Trek and I will love him forever. He’s also from New Orleans and cooks our food. He’s a devoted father, which was something Avery Brooks requested for the role to make sure we had a positive depiction of Black fatherhood on TV in the 90s. He has an understated spirituality to him. He has grit from facing the ugly side of maintaining a utopia and has an incredible temper that he holds most of the time. He’s a nerd about baseball. He cares about his people and holds firm as their commander. This isn’t a committee for him. He can be so brutal. I love him.

Ghost Dog (Ghost Dog)

Ghost Dog (1999) is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I’ve always loved the version of masculinity Forest Whitaker put into this character. He has a sense of style and flair, and also follows a strict code of conduct. His adherence to his way earned him the respect of everyone in his community, and gangsters in his neighborhood show him admiration and respect. I loved his friendship with Raymond, in which neither knows what the other is saying and yet they are actually on the same page constantly.

Raymond Holt (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

Yes, this show is copaganda, but I love Raymond Holt so much. I love that Andre Braugher played the Straight Man role in a comedy as a politically out gay man who has such a serious exterior. Holt was so gay in so many ways and I am obsessed with him. He is so deep into his niche interests (like me) and yet he was actually such a great mentor figure to everyone under him. I loved that he and his husband were so devoted to each other but were never depicted as the perfect couple. I love that he has a petty beef with another colleague. He’s just an incredible character.

Kiram Kir-zaki (Lord of the White Hell)

Kiram is the first time I ever realized how deep the programming in speculative fiction to read the protagonist as a white man with brown hair and brown eyes. Kiram is a dark-skinned Haldiim youth with curly gold hair and light eyes. It took me three readings of this book to perceive Kiram properly, and it’s something that has shaken me for a long time. Kiram is brilliant, snarky, and too gay for his own good. He’s also not stupid. I love reading a smart gay character who generally cannot hide who he is doing the work to blend in to a homophobic setting. Ginn Hale also writes gay sex better than some gay male authors.

Kakei Shiro (What Did You Eat Yesterday?)

Honestly, when am I ever not thinking about this man? I love how, even if he can’t immediately give Kenji everything he might want, he gives Kenji all that he can. He couldn’t say he loved Kenji for a long time, but you could feel the love in his cooking. I’m so happy to have this man and his partner back on my screen again. It is just so hard to be gay. I am so relieved that many of the folks reading my posts didn’t suffer The Knowing, because I know that Shiro and I will never be able to get away from what it did to us.

Chiron (Moonlight)

The terrible intersection of poverty, race, and sexuality has never been better exemplified for me than in this film that has no white people in it. There are just so many fewer choices for us, especially if you can’t hide who you are. I love Chiron so much because we see so much of what he was forced to be pushed onto him. There’s something heartbreaking and beautiful that as an adult he resembles Juan, and that he never got over Kevin.  I find it hard to explain why Chiron means so much to me, but I’m black and gay so I don’t always feel like I have to.

Max (Black Sails)

I love Max because she consistently chose to not be cruel when so many others would have. She is not accumulating power for her own ego or to punish those who wronged her. She holds power as a facilitator. History doesn’t remember the facilitators who keep the lights on and make sure the bread gets made every day, but you notice their absence within two days when they’re gone. Max is also funny to me because she and Flint almost never encounter each other, but have caused the other so much grief.

Thank you for the ask!

[persephoneflouwers]

i truly didn’t believe you when you said that harry would not be going anywhere after this tour ended. there was just no way in mind that after over two years of crazy touring, two movies, an album, the worst stunt of his career (imo), being over exposed by the media, and everything else in between that he wouldn’t want to take a break for at least a year. no way that he’d keep going and possibly have another project up his sleeve (tbd for now but looking more and more likely). no way that he enjoyed all of this so much that he wouldn’t rest and instead, just wanted this same cycle to continue… so, i just wanted to say that you were right, and it’s honestly been difficult to cope with that reality because it does change some things that i thought were true about who he is. and that feels harsh saying because at the end of the day, it’s my fault for creating this image in my head of who i thought he was. but there’s also parts of me that feel a bit led on or maybe even lied to (idk??) just certain things that gave me hope or that i justified but can’t anymore. it’s not his management or label and it’s definitely not because of his closet either. it’s him making these decisions for the purpose of his career and influence and money and i just hate that harrystylesTM is blending with the harry in my mind. and making me question how genuine some of the things he’s said and done actually were. you know if it makes him happy then ok, i get it. if he thinks all of this is justified then ok. but i just can’t bare to see him make these choices and then be miserable while stunting or try to gay/larry code or make music videos where we’re supposed to feel sorry for him. i still will tbh because god, i really do think he needs some better friends, a hug, and some help, but you make your bed and you lay in it. it’s his choice, and he chose the direction that even a week ago, i would’ve never predicted. so all in all, just wanted to say you were correct and it’s definitely made me think about things differently…

Ouch this is a difficult ask to respond to because the risk is to sound like an ‘I told you so’ kinda person (which I absolutely am but don’t want to now).

So mh, I think most people fall for the marketing and brand not just in this fandom, it’s about the current publicity and media distribution, when in reality that thing is full of crap, delivered by smart people whose job is literally selling things to you.

In US consumerism, the lesson n1 is ‘make it sensational’. The minimum most average thing becomes giant, incredible, out of this planet. When they put tickets for the last show last year on sale, they didn’t mention the ‘final show’ thing. This was clearly planned for later on, when there were two big zones in campovolo that weren’t sold out yet, they put on the final show label. It was smart because people bought the tickets in the fear of ‘Harry styles not going on tour again for years’ and for a fandom that is used to consume him like I consume tomatoes everyday even when I have tummy ache, this was unimaginable. I personally spoke with people from Brazil, Miami, Minnesota. They made it an event.

The end of an era, fandom called it. And of course, FOMO is real for this generation lmao

But I also speak always about the power of words, right? I think your brain chooses words automatically to convey a state of emotions and that is something that all the media training in your life can’t hold back. I am still pretty sure Harry knows that power too, since writing songs is his job I would expect he knows the nuance that lays in the difference between every word. And there words that have been said in a peculiar timing that made neurons in my head spike like fireworks. I didn’t rewatch what he said that night and I’m not a forensic language expert lol but there were moments where you could feel like you were living the Truman show experience.

I am sorry you feel like this, though. I know it’s harder here (unbearable on twt) because it seems nobody is matching your feelings, but I hope you will make peace with this.

My two cents is to let it go, let him go.

Another album, another tour who cares? They will feed it down your throat, everyone and their mothers will pretend to like it because that’s the easiest thing that gives you 1M views on tiktok and they will made up new achievements purposely crafted ad hoc for the whole picture.

Trust me, when I say I don’t like being overstimulated too, that’s why I don’t engage with his content and the only things I know is what anons tell me in the inbox and that’s okay. I just know that if I close my phone, none of this matters anymore in my life cause it’s soooo far away from what I do daily. It’s comforting in a way.

The ryan air motto “sit back, relax and enjoy your flight” is what life is about. Take care of yourself.

[deathlygristly]

So the kdrama podcast that I used to like so much that I used to subscribe to their Patreon did an episode on Chicken Nugget today.

If you're not into kdramas and/or you didn't watch it, it's a fun little show about a woman being turned into a piece of chicken (not really a nugget but that was the English translation) by an alien machine, and the ensuing adventures of her father and her father's employee who has a crush on her as they try to get her back into a human body.

I was surprised that these particular podcasters were going to cover it, because they generally don't tend to like anything that's much beyond the boundaries of mainstream and acceptably normal. But they seemed to be excited about it and to be willing to actually give it a try, so I decided to listen to the episode.

Yeah, two of them only watched one episode and the third was the only one to finish it, and they were pretty mean about it. Despite asking people who liked it to not be mean to them.

Just personal rambling under the cut.

Then they talked about humor that they do like, and apparently one of them thinks the trope of the show's main couple doing a contrived fall and their lips meeting when they land is supposed to be funny? I've always thought of it as an awkward trope that's a product of trying to show physical attraction and contact in a very conservative culture.

Then they mentioned three shows as examples of humor they like, and I was like oh wow we are completely different and I'm not sure how I listened to you guys for so long without realizing this.

They mentioned Hospital Playlist and Reply 1988, which are by the same creative team. We haven't watched Reply 1988 but we did watch Reply 1997 and the first season of Hospital Playlist, and we were like oh, okay, these people make neurotypical shows for neurotypical people, we don't need to check their shows out anymore. To me and the spousal person, they were extremely boring shows about large groups of neurotypical extroverts socializing with each other, and we didn't get it or enjoy it.

They also mentioned the "banter" between the main couple in Wedding Impossible, which....yeah. We finished it last night and IIRC the spousal person said he'd put it in the "meh" category. Not in the worst shows we've watched but on the lower end. The posts in the tag cover how the gay character was treated pretty well, and the main couple themselves were nonsensical and weird to us. Like why suddenly decide to separate for a year when you were ready to die for each other after one date? None of the dialogue stood out to us, and all I can remember right now is the main dude, who at the time thought the main girl was engaged to his brother for real and not as a beard, telling her that he was going to seduce her? So funny, so smart. /sarcasm

Anyway, yeah, I was correct to unsubscribe from their Patreon and I should probably unsubscribe from the show too. I'll give them a few more episodes though. Plus if nothing else they do provide an interesting view of the thoughts of middle class neurotypical white women about kdramas.

Also an interesting view of where the stereotypical idea of marriage in posts on here comes from, from people whose parents are like the podcasters. Their husbands don't watch the dramas with them or talk to them about the shows much, and two of them shared stories about their husbands being injured and they laughed about it and how upset their husbands got because they didn't seem to care much about their injuries and how they were frustrated because the injury interrupted their drama-watching?

I sent one episode to the spousal person to listen to once a while back and his first reaction was "Do they actually like their husbands?"

Hmm. So on one hand it's interesting social information gathering about types of people that I am not around often IRL but who I encounter a lot online, and on the other hand I can feel myself becoming a hate-listener and I do not like that at all.

[callmearcturus]

@malewifebillcage replied to your post “Watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang with family and oh...”:

I KNEW I COULD TRUST YOU it’s the movie of all time for making rdj a bimbo twink, val kilmer a mean gay man, and michelle monaghan a sexy santa cosplayer

​god RDJ is so fucking twinky in it, you're right. he's so fucking stupid and big hearted. and the specific way terrible things keep happening to him but he tries SO HARD to be a good guy and protective and chivalrous.... which only ends with him getting the shit kicked out of him.

michelle monaghan. god this is my favorite role of hers. she's the dream girl, she's damaged, she's sexy, she's smart, and she has to wear stupid outfits and explain her ideas. she's so funny and great.

PERRY IS JUST. the heart of the movie? like for me the movie is actually about Perry and maybe its bc I'm always been affirmed by Perry? Like the entire movie is against him, and to me it feels like every gay joke is at the expense of the homophobes. But he is vERY gay, he's flamboyant, he's mean, he has mannerisms, he leers as hot asses-- but he's also The Competent One, he takes care of Harry and Harmony

and like there are so many Cinematic Parallels between Harmony and Perry. both intimidate Harry, they correct him and guide him, they shout at him when he's particularly fucking stupid. they also both get nearly identical "I'm not who you think I am" moments ("I'm not a nice man, Harry." "You think I'm amazing.")

AND IN THE END THE LAST PERSON WE SEE HARRY WITH IS PERRY, and he's touchy and grabs Harry's mouth and the absolute comfort there

KKBB IS THE MOST!!!! IT'S THE BEST!

[mymanymerrymuses]

I showed my mum pictures of every muse on my blog and got some HILARIOUS descriptions of who they are as people, so now I am sharing this.

Please enjoy. I did.

Okay here's my blog promo picture, which is what I used to show her all the muses. I'm going to go row by row and tell you how she described each character (some were in pairs, I'll say when that happened)

First, Asahi: "Almost like Clark Kent. A geek sat in his office and then he goes and does something amazing." 8/10. He's not superman but he is surprisingly good when he steps onto the court.

Norman: "Wants to be a private eye." 5/10 not quite accurate, but I could see it.

Gemima, who got paired up with Conny: "They're just annoying. Just look at them, you know they're annoying." 1/10 it was funny, but they're very sweet little girls.

Bruce: "Thinks he's gorgeous." 0/10 ma'am you do not know the self-hatred this man possesses.

Kili hilariously got paired with Fili, and my mother said they both look like they're thinking: "Where the fuck did I park my horse?" 25/10. She has never seen the hobbit and I laughed SO HARD because she knew if anyone was going to lose a horse it was those two idiots.

Jedediah was missed because she recognised him and wouldn't have had to guess his character.

Oikawa: "Boring." 2/10 it's funny because he'd be so insulted, but he's far too dramatic to ever be boring.

Ray: "Angry." 10/10 perfectly accurate.

Emma: "A trendsetter." 7/10 Technically she did inspire an entire crazy escape plan, so I'll take it.

Camilo: "The annoying friend who sings everything." 5/10 accurate, but I deducted points because despite loving Encanto and having watched it multiple times, my mum did not recognise Camilo and thought he was a girl XD

Pietro: "Super fast. If he ran it would be fast. If he rode a horse it would be fast. He'd want to be moving fast." 8/10 I think the icon gave her too big a clue (though she said she didn't realise he was running and thought his hand was up because his wrist was broken), but I would LOVE to see Pietro's superspeed transfer to a horse.

Ori: "He has a speech impediment and is a bit slow." 0/10 more of an unfair judgement than my mother usually gives people, and not accurate at all. Ori is very smart and I love him.

Revali: "Bit of a mean bastard." 10/10 perfect yes he is.

Yamaguchi: "Looks shocked at the world." 9/10 he is, in fact, intimidated by most of the world, so I'll accept that as a correct answer.

Kagari: "Wants to be in a boyband." 8/10 not correct but given that my depiction of Kagari is deaf, I did laugh quite hard at the irony.

Don: "Know-it-all. Thinks he knows everyone's secrets and he doesn't." 3/10 Don does like to think he knows more than he does, but he definitely doesn't think he's really super smart and knows everything about everyone.

Bilbo she vaguely recognised (enough to know he was a Hobbit) but had nothing to say about him.

Thaumas: "Physically strong." 6/10 his whole character is he's too pretty and wants to be left alone because too many people are into him, but there's nothing to say he isn't also physically strong.

Viktor: "What happened to it's eyes?" 9/10 I have no words.

Tsukishima: "He has a 'fuck off' expression." 10/10 yes he does.

Hawthorn and Attalea she had nothing to say for because she 'wasn't sure what was happening'.

Damien: "That's Billy Bullshit. He's two-faced." 3/10 technically he keeps the two sides of himself very separate, but he's not mean or bitchy and he's learning to embrace every part of himself and I love him for that.

Piers: "Scary." 6/10 he's a sweetheart but many young pokemon trainers would agree with my mum XD

Miguel: "Geeky gay Jesus." 10/10 not accurate but sheer perfect anyway.

Nori: "He's a wannabe wizard." 9/10 not AT ALL but I loved that anyway.

Tyler: "He wants to be a personal trainer but he can't." 4/10 it was funny but he dresses that way because he's gay and also we have watched Turning Red more than once so again, I don't know how she didn't recognise him at all.

Kenma: "A sulky teenager." 9/10 yep. Yep he is XD

Lucien: "He looks gay." 9/10 he would be very happy to know that he is not being mistaken for a heterosexual being

Jack got missed because, like Jedediah, she knew who he was.

Ryan: "He thinks he's the strongest but he cries if he can't find the red skittles." 10/10 I have NO IDEA why she went for skittles but she's completely right.

Takuto: "Tarty, because she reminds me of somebody." 6/10 well yes, Takuto could be described as a tart, but is not a she, and now I want to know who he reminds her of XD

[sawyingthroughthewasteland]

OCs as Horror Tropes Tag Game

I’m getting popular with these :) got tagged by @valentineenjoyer  link to quiz! gonna do this with Sawyer, but I am seeing my cowriter next week so maybe I’ll force her to help me with Baron also :) Sawyer J. Lockwood, General of the Minutemen, ex-mech pilot and a post-war gay with all the associated trauma with it:

Question 1: Pick a time of day. 

Sawyer is actually an early bird thanks to having been raised on a farm. His day starts right when the sun goes up and he starts crashing when it goes down. This drives his husband, who used to live in Alaska, absolutely insane.  Question 2: Introvert or Extrovert? Sawyer’s a mix- he’s got a really good charismatic face and cares deeply about the people he’s in charge of keeping safe but also gets grumpy often and wants his alone time. Preston is the same so the two tag-team when it comes to managing people. Question 3: How do you respond to feeling lonely? Man’s been lonely for most of his life. Father passed away when he was young and shortly after he’d grown apart from his mother while trying to find himself in a baptist community. During the war, he struggled to make friends as he preferred to spend his time studying or training so a lot of his loneliness was fought off with Baron- his lover in the USAF. As Sawyer was in the navy’s experimental branch, it wasn’t often they saw each other but when they did they were attached at the hip. During the time post-war when Sawyer thought Baron was dead, he was lonely as all hell and didn’t deal with it the best- largely internalizing it as justification for being the sole survivor. Thankfully Preston helped pry him out of his depression hole and finding a new lover in Danse helped as he blossomed as the General. When Baron surprised everyone by arriving with the second wave of the BoS to check in with Maxson’s sudden silence- the two quickly became inseparable (which is probably why Sawyer didn’t nuke the BoS off the face of the earth the moment they appeared over the horizon.)  Question 4: Pick a deadly sin.    Pride. He’s spent a lot of time rebuilding himself as well as the world around him to be a better place- and he’s learned over and over again he has to be protective of it or else others will want to change it to their liking. He always accounts for others and tries to help the greater good, but also is painfully aware how important appearances are in a leadership position. He’s super smart, but mostly in pre-war era things and often forgets things have changed- resulting in his plans often running straight into walls if his friends aren’t there to help him course correct.  Question 5: Pick a van gogh painting. Starry Night. He doesn’t get to enjoy night anymore with how busy he is and longs for a summer night under the stars in fucking peace.  Question 6: song lyric question “Oh lets get old fashioned / Back to how things used to be / if I get old, old fashioned / would you get old, old fashioned with me?”  He’s significantly happier post-war in a world where things make more sense to him (community building, being self sustaining, returning to a trade system, everyone helping each other with no expected repayment in return) and of course loves the minutemen but.... often mourns the pre-war era. Less the technology and society back then, more the fact that he hadn’t been in any shape to ever make the most of it.  When Baron returns, he almost gets a second chance at it- and it certainly helps now that he finally as someone who relates to him concerning the sudden time skip.  Question 7: Warm or cool colors? Cool! Man loves his blues and foresty colors :) Question 8: Early bird or night owl? See question 1 lol Question 9: Pick an excerpt. “A heart’s a heavy burden.” - Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle Post-war, man would it be easy for him to snap and not bother to help anyone. His unique skills make it easy for him to never have to rely on a community and he could’ve lived for decades without ever seeing anyone just out in the woods but alas- his heart is too big for his own good.  Question 10: Pick another painting. Hamlet, Alphonse Mucha. Neat style and Sawyer loves his classics (and relates to Hamlet a lot).  Question 11: Choose a tarot card.  The Lovers. A lot of Sawyer’s story is motivated by love: love for the Minutemen and all their people, love for Danse, love for his son, love for Baron, and of course love for all his other friends and companions.  Question 12: Why are you tired? “I have never known anything else. The exhaustion, the fatigue- it is as much apart of me as my bones and blood. I cannot imagine myself without it.” Question 13: What is worship? “It is destructive, and it is a weapon.”  Sawyer’s seen what’s happened with past politicians and leaders, and wants nothing to do with it. Also ~trauma~ makes bringing anything remotely religious into the same room as him immediately makes him not trust you. He believes firmly in that everyone should help everyone and no man is above another- everyone is equal and should be viewed as such and if not, deserve to be knocked down. Question 14: Choose something to take from my pockets. “a bracelet of multicolored beads”. As long as its established that the quiz creator is chill with him taking it- yea he’d like a pride bracelet :) Question 15: Feel free to tell me something! Did this for a tag game and really wish I noticed there was 15 questions before writing long answers to everything but oh well lmao Answer: 

Thank for for the tag Valentineenjoyer!  People imma tag: @kyngsnake @wastelandhell and if anyone else wants to join they can :) (yall don’t need to go as crazy as me on the answers, most just put the result of this I’m just insane)