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#i am so sorry for talking at you oh my god
musaslullaby · 3 days
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Is the princess really getting married?
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Charles leclerc x fem reader
Summary: The Princess of Monaco is getting married, but the fans don't know who the lucky one is.
Face: people on Pinterest, and the driver.
Warning: fluff, Instagram AU.
A/N: There will be a second part.
Masterlist
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Ynofficial
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Description: Me every time they tell me I should go get ready.
Liked by user56, lewishaamilton, and other 948.983.
user43: Yn doesn’t want to be a princess anymore.
user32: Let’s switch places, girl. ❤️ Like to author
yourbrother: Yn, you shouldn’t post these things.
Ynofficial: Don’t be so strict.
yourbrother: I’m just trying to keep you on the right track.
Ynofficial: How boring.
user3: The best princess I’ve ever seen.
user12: This is too funny.
user34: POV: How to pretend not to be a princess.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: POV: It’s not a POV.
user34: YNNNN!!!!
Ynofficial: Yes, that’s my name.
yourbrother: What am I going to do with you? ❤️ Like to author
user78: What do you have to do today?
Ynofficial: Another one of those shoots for something, honestly, I don’t even know.
user23: Wait, you’re doing a photoshoot and you don’t even know what for?
Ynofficial: Exactly.
Ynofficial
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Description: At least I have him to keep me company.
Liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and other 8.483.939.
user45: How cuteeee.
user67: The luckiest little dog in the world.
user221: Yn doesn’t need a boyfriend; she has her dog.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: I totally agree.
yourbrother: He’s the only one who deserves to live in the palace.
Ynofficial: I know you love my son more than me, thanks.
yourbrother: I never said that.
Ynofficial: So, you love me?
yourbrother: You trapped me. ❤️ Like to author
user21: The last photo is worthy of a queen.
user34: Maybe you meant goddess?
user56: Guys, doesn’t that dog look like Leclerc’s dog?
user7: Who’s Leclerc?
f1lover: How can you not know? He’s a god on earth.
user90: He’s an F1 driver who has a dog of the same breed named Leo.
user50: Now that I think about it, they adopted them around the same time.
user54: Coincidence?
Ynofficial
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Description: Okay, okay, I have to admit I had fun this time.
Liked by user43, checoperez, and other 98,453.
yourbrother: I told you.
Ynofficial: You usually tell a lot of lies.
user45: I love the relationship between Yn and her brother.
❤️ Like to author
user6: The heir to the Monaco throne.
user7: He’s very kind, I met him.
Ynofficial: Try living with him, then we’ll see.
user21: Were the jewels real?
Ynofficial: Yes, and they’re really heavy too.
user6: I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.
Ynofficial: The clothes are super uncomfortable tooooo.
user67: But they’re beautiful.
user0: They look amazing on her.
Ynofficial: I can’t wait to take them off.
Ynofficial
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Description: A date before saying goodbye.
Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and other 4.784.839.
user21: Who are you with, girl?
Ynofficial: With a human being.
user6: The luckiest human in the world. ❤️ Like to author
user5: YN OF MONACO WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
user34: Thank you, Yn.
user1: Whoever it is should thank their lucky stars every day to be with someone like Yn.
❤️ Like to author
user45: So, is she engaged??
user41: Yn, don’t play these tricks on us.
user67: It’s not funny.
user3: I love the dress.
Ynofficial: I don’t, they forced me to wear it.
user56: No way we could afford it.
user32: I wish I were a princess.
Ynofficial: Wish granted, please come take my place.
user6: Guys, isn’t the Monaco GP today?
user5: Oh God, you’re right.
user43: Do you think she’s going to the GP?
user8: I didn’t know she was into F1.
user09: Neither did I.
user5: Yn is the black sheep of the family.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: You’re absolutely right.
user56: That description doesn’t sound like you.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: Sorry, too poetic.
yourbrother: Mom wants to talk to you.
user6: Trouble’s coming.
Ynofficial: Time to run off to Mexico. Checo, will you host me?
checoperez: Whenever you want. ❤️ Like to author
user32: Wait, they know each other???
user9: Did I miss something?
user78: What does this dialogue even mean?
user76: YN?
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Ynofficial
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Description: Guess who’s not supposed to be wandering around the paddock?
Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and other 877.473.738.
gp1: YN OF MONACO.
vroom: Wait, they allowed her to go to the GP??
race: I think at least someone from the royal family always has to be there?
user43: YN, DID YOU MEET CHARLES?
Ynofficial: 🤫🤫.
16_55: IT’S A YESSS.
user2: MY TWO FAVORITE PEOPLE MEETING. ❤️ Like to author
yourbrother: Where did you go? Mom’s going to be very angry.
Ynofficial: Cover for me.
yourbrother: Wait, what?
Ynofficial: Thanks, love you.
yourbrother: No, Yn, come back here, we agreed to stay low-key.
Ynofficial: No one will see me.
yourbrother: That includes me too, right?
Ynofficial: Maybe yes, maybe no.
63_: I love this woman.
user42: Is the car comfortable?
Ynofficial: My princess ass didn’t appreciate it.
user21_: That’s why you’re my favorite princess.
Ynofficial: I don’t think you know any others.
danielricciardo: Princess Yn is a fan of mine.
Ynofficial: You’re my childhood.
danielricciardo: I’m not that old.
Ynofficial: Don’t worry, Daniel, it’s hard to accept.
landonorris: Wait, Daniel met her and I didn’t?
maxverstappen1: He’s just privileged.
Ynofficial: I’m coming to you, don’t fight.
user98: Everyone wants Yn. ❤️ Like to author
81_4: She’s anything but a princess.
f1lover: Please marry me.
Ynofficial: Sorry, I’m a bit busy.
Ynofficial
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Description: As a good princess, I have to congratulate Charles Leclerc for winning his home race, Monaco. Congratulations, Predestined One.
Liked by charles_leclerc, f1, and other 42.457.473
f1lover: How sweet, Yn.
ferrarifan: After this post, I’m over the moon.
race_: The Monaco curse is broken.
❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: Yes, but now Charles has to endure at least a month of bad luck.
charles_leclerc: Thank you, Yn. ❤️ Like to author
charles_leclerc: I thank you, Your Highness, for wasting two minutes to make the post. ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: Consider yourself lucky.
landonorris: Will the next victory post be dedicated to me?
georgerussell63: Keep dreaming, mate. ❤️ Like to author
oscarpiastri: Charles has reached the pinnacle of his career after this post.
carlossainz55: I can hear him laughing and blushing from here. ❤️ Like to author
maxverstappen1: Princess, may I humbly request your attention? ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: I always have my full attention on you, Max Emilian Verstappen.
charles_leclerc: No, today is my day, step aside. ❤️ Like to author
user56: Is Charles jealous??
user45: Max asking for Yn’s attention?
Ynofficial
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Description: I can officially say I’m off-limits.
Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and other 98,457.633.
yourbrother: I’m so happy for you, little sister.
❤️ Like to author
landonorris: Can I be the best man?
Ynofficial: No, you might show up to the wedding already drunk.
maxverstappen1: You said yesss! ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: I said yesss!
georgerussell63: Congratulations, guys.
❤️ Like to author
lewishamilton: Congrats, but honestly, I expected it.
❤️ Like to author
oscarpiastri: He has the eyes of love.
❤️ Like to author
user44: No, okay, we need to figure out who it is.
f1lover: It’ll be the most beautiful wedding ever.
ynlove: Our little girl is growing up.
charleslec_: I hope it’s Charles.
race: It’s definitely a driver.
vroom: I don’t know; it could also be a prince or noble.
user32: I doubt it, knowing Yn.
ynqueen: Love is blind.
user3: Whoever it is, I’m so happy for you.
user77: I’m going to drop a bomb: I think it’s Max.
maxie_: Oh God, yes, can you imagine??
1_11: The best couple ever.
Ynofficial: I like your theories.
user66: Yn, help us, please.
cl16: Has anyone noticed Charles didn’t even comment?
55_: Strange.
Ynofficial
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Description: Goodbye, Monaco.
Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and other 757.648.
yourbrother: I can’t believe mom let you go.
carlossainz55: Knowing Yn, she would’ve gone anyway. ❤️ Like to author
Ynofficial: My friends know me too well.
user43: Wait, how long have they known each other???
formula1_: More importantly, since when does Yn love F1?
f1lover: It’s a new thing, actually.
race: Yn, princess of the people.
Ynofficial: Always at your service.
landonorris: Now she’s getting a big head.
charles_leclerc: As soon as they offered you to skip your duties, you accepted right away.
Ynofficial: You shouldn’t talk to a princess like that.
charles_leclerc: And you shouldn’t talk to a prince like that.
f1love: WAIT, WHAT DID CHARLES MEAN???
charlesmylife: Guys, Yn deleted it.
charelsofmonaco: No, I don’t understand.
16cl: I arrived too late 😭😭😭.
Flove1: Finally, we have proof that this man exists.
user65: I was convinced it was a joke.
user90: Secret agents of the world, unite, we need to find out who Yn’s boyfriend is.
user67: YN, WE HAVE TOO MANY QUESTIONS.
Ynofficial: And I have zero answers.
user56: Where are you running to, girl?
Ynofficial: Away from nobility.
Ynofficial
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Description: I had to try the ice cream in Italy.
Liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and other 74.673.883.
yourbrother: Bring me some.
Ynofficial: No.
charles_leclerc: I’ll bring it to you.
Ynofficial: Since when are you two so chummy?
f1lover: No okay, we missed something.
race: Something important.
Formula1: Is that Leo or Yn’s dog?
f_1: The numbers don’t add up.
user78: I can’t tell them apart.
user1: They look the same.
landonorris: Good job, Yn, distract him so I can win in Monza.
carlossainz55: NO, YN, BRING CHARLES HERE NOW.
Ynofficial: Now I don’t know what to do anymore.
user56: Yn is a princess even outside of Monaco.
user09: How cute is the guy tying her shoes?
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norrisainz33 · 2 days
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New Girl Pt. 2 || GR63
☆ summary: george has a new nonfamous partner who the fans absolutely adore
☆ pairing: george russell x nonfamous!reader
☆ fc & warnings: none
☆ requested: had a few people ask for a part 2 on this one so here it is!!
part 1 here
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
mercedesamgf1 has posted a video
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liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, georgerussell63, yourbff and 154,234 others
mercedesamgf1: asking george all of your questions ahead of the singapore grand prix!
view all 327 comments
user1: the way his face lights up at the mention of y/n 😭
user2: no the way he respects her privacy is so wholesome
user3: georgie is the whole package i’m sick
user4: admin you are a real one for asking about y/n
mercedesamgf1: 🤭
user5: wait i think he’s hinting about y/n getting social media
user6: omg ur so right he def is
user7: he’s clearly so in love with her i’m so jealous
user8: god i see what you have done for others!!!!!
user9: y/n is just a girl and i love it
georgerussell63 has posted to his story
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user8: she’s so pretty what the heck
landonorris: you bringing her to padel or what ?
georgerussell63: how many times are you going to ask to hang out with MY girlfriend
landonorris: dude she’s awesome and i wanna be her friend tf
georgerussell63: she said she’ll come play with us 🙄
lilymhe: GORGEOUS VIEW. i’m taking her out next
georgerussell63: double date?
lilymhe: um no , solo date just me and y/n
user10: boyfriend george is unlike any other
user13: ok lover boy
user14: ahhhh she really is in singapore with you omg
user15: we stan our unbothered and not chronically online queen
georgerussell63 has made a post
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liked by mercedesamgf1, landonorris, alex_albon, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton, yourbff, and 564,364 others
georgerussell63: when in singapore!
[tagged: landonorris, alex_albon, ynuser]
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user12: he’s so fine
user5: 🚨🚨 HE TAGGED Y/N 🚨🚨
user6: LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS
user14: THE QUEEN HAS ARRIVED
mercedesamgf1: obligatory padel post!
landonorris: you forogt to post the part where y/n and i beat you and alex
ynuser: yeah georgie where was the acknowledgement huh?
maxverstappen1: oh i like her already @.georgerussell63
alex_albon: i have no idea what you guys are talking about
georgerussell63: my bad everyone. yes, it’s true - lando and y/n did beat alex and i in padel
alex_albon: @.georgerussell63 noooo why’d you sell us out like that
user16: i wanna take a bite out of his thigh
user23: i hope singapore treats you well george
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ynuser has posted to their story
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user7: a working gal ok i see you y/n
yourbff: great first story y/n/n
ynuser: thanks bestie ,, just wait till you see my first post
yourbff: i’m glad you’re finally leaving the stone ages and joining us on social media 🤍
ynuser: lmfao you know i hate attention like this
yourbff: then you fell in love with the wrong man 😂😂
ynuser: i did not - he’s perfect!! i just have to get used to it. working on ‘coming out of my shell’ as they say 🫠
yourbff: you and your shy self are perfect the way you are!!
georgerussell63: yes you are doing it right my gorgeous girl
ynuser: thank you 🥹
ynuser: also your fans are quick i never thought id be perceived like this on the internet 🫣
georgerussell63: hahah yeah they are. i’m sorry if it’s overwhelming darling
ynuser: seems it comes with the territory!! alexandra and lily been giving me some tips so don’t worry about me
georgerussell63: glad you have them!! don’t let the fame go to your head 😉
ynuser: HA i am not famous please don’t say that 😭
landonorris: oh some quality content
ynuser: thanks lando
mercedesamgf1: welcome to instagram y/n! looking forward to seeing you in singapore!
ynuser: wow thanks mercedes!
user8: you are so normal and i absolutely love it
user10: you’re giving all us fans hope
ynuser has posted to their story
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user10: stop you making bracelets and handing them out was the cutest thing i’ve ever seen
user11: you might be my favorite wag to ever exist ,, what do you mean you made bracelets to trade 😭
georgerussell63: blimey you are so adorable
ynuser: so are you!!
georgerussell63: how did i get so lucky?
ynuser: georgie 🥹 im the lucky one
georgerussell63: i’m definitely the lucky one. you’ve changed my life in the best way possible
ynuser: brb sobbing
yourbff: i’m so jealous of your life girl
ynuser: it might all be a dream idk
yourbff: nooo stop
user27: you being so shy and timid yet still taking the time to hand out bracelets with the girlies is true peoples princess behavior
landonorris: thanks for the bracelet! i think it brought me some luck
ynuser: gotta bring george some luck next 😭
mercedesamgf1: it’s such a pleasure having you in the paddock 🤍
ynuser: thanks for looking after me admin 🤍
user12: thanks for being so sweet to me and my friend this weekend!! never change y/n!!
ynuser has made a post
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liked by mercedesamgf1, alexandrasaintmleux, georgerussell63, yourbff, lilymhe, iamrebeccad, and 7,234 others
ynuser: life recently can be summed up in one word.. surreal
view all 321 comments
yourbff: absolutely fire first post tho i should have been in it
ynuser: next one you will be dw
user8: the queen has posted everyone stay calm and collected in this comment section
user11: where is that dress from i’m crying it’s so pretty
ynuser: would you believe me if i said tjmaxx?
user11: truly the most iconic answer you could have ever given
user7: you are the blueprint
georgerussell63: your beauty is surreal
ynuser: george russell you are everything
alexandrasaintmleux: stunning 🤍
ynuser: 🤍
user26: starting a y/n fan club as we speak! like this comment to join
user26: NOT GEORGE LIKING HAHAH
user27: thank you for giving us nonfamous shy girlies hope y/n 😭
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated. have a few works in progress that i’m hoping to get out this week. appreciate all of your support 🫶🏻
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
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Mad Season 6 🕸 Story A
Warnings: non/dubcon, social anxiety, chronic illness, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: this is Peter's side of the story.
Summary: a class project gets messy. (short!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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“Um...” you drone dumbly at Peter. “I don’t know.” 
He stares back at you. He looks scared, “you don’t know?” 
“I’m sorry, I...” the raucous party rumbles on inside the walls. “I can’t think here.” 
“Hey, let me grab my jacket, we can talk outside,” he offers. “Wait, where’s your coat? You can’t go out like that?” 
You look down and realise you left your jacket inside. In fact, he took it. You shrug and he holds up a finger.  
“Please, just give me a chance.” 
You nod. What else can you do? He rushes back through the door and you turn away. You try to ignore the couple sloppily lapping at each other’s mouths. 
You don’t know what to think. You can barely cling to a coherent thought. Bucky’s warning echo in your head. Isn’t this proof? There are other girls, not just you. Yet, you keep asking yourself why you care about them. Peter asked you to be his lab partner, not his girlfriend. 
In fact, no one has ever asked you to be their girlfriend. Why would they? You’re quiet and boring. You shrink back against the wall and peer down at the floor. You should just tell Peter to go back to MJ. 
He appears and your resolve rots away. He only has his coat. “Hey, I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find your coat. I looked all over. The green one right? With the orange buttons? I don’t know what happened but take mine.” 
He holds you his jacket, “Oh, it’s fine. I can’t--” 
“Now what kinda jerk would I be if I let you go cold?” He insists. “I’ll be fine. Really. I like the cold.” 
You blink and take the jacket. You don’t like arguing. You already feel bad enough after barging in on him and MJ. You can’t stop thinking of it. God. It feels so... wrong. 
He walks you down the hall. You’re both silent. You keep distance between you as you get to the elevator and ride it without saying a word. You go out into the lobby and as you get to the front door, you grab the front of his jacket and start to push it off. 
“Please, keep your coat. I should go home--” 
“Just hear me out, okay?” He begs and stops you from taking off the coat. “Please.” 
You face him and dip your chin, “okay.” 
He sighs. You peek up from under your eyelids. He smiles nervously, cheeks pinkening, and he shifts his weight on his feet. He clears his throat. 
“Look, I’m an idiot. I went into that room with MJ. I know how she is. I’m not going to play victim here. All I can say is it won’t happen again.” His jaw ticks, “I’m a dummy. I was... I was so nervous about talking to you. I know you hate parties but I thought if I was drinking I could just tell you how I feel. And of course, it just made me stupid.” 
Your mouth falls open. He can’t be saying what you think he is. Right?
Before you can respond, the door to the lobby opens and you look over as MJ struts out. Her long legs are toned in her heels and her short leather skirt. Her hair is perfect and her makeup brings out her natural colouring. She’s perfect and you’re wearing a pleated skirt. 
You look at Peter again and deflate. 
“Peter,” MJ approaches, “why’d you run off?” 
“MJ,” he sighs, “I told you--” 
“What did you tell me before you had my tongue down your throat?” She smirks. 
“Stop,” he snips. “I said no.” 
“But you didn’t stop me,” she scoffs. “And now what? You’re scurrying around with her? Really? Her?” 
“Don’t be mean,” Peter steps between you and her, as if he’s trying to hide you. 
“You call it mean, I call it honesty,” she chirps back. 
“Get out of here. You weren’t even invited,” he snarls as he reaches back and latches onto your wrist. 
“When did you turn into such a fucking loser?” She snips and shoves him.  
He collides with you but takes most of the impact. She stomps out in her clunky heels as you turn to watch her. She doesn’t look back. 
Slowly, you spin back to Peter, “are you alright?” 
“Yeah, fine,” his shoulders droop. “Look, I get it. I screwed up. I don’t want to ruin the rest of your night. I already dragged you here. Just, take my coat, get home safe. Be done with me.” 
His eyes twinkle wetly and his nose twitches. He looks like he could cry. As small as you are, he seems even smaller in that moment. 
“You didn’t let me answer,” you say. 
His forehead lines in confusion and his lips open wordlessly. 
“I... I’m surprised is all. It’s been a weird night and...” You sway and fold your hands. “I’m kind of a mess myself. I really don’t do well in crowds. I know you know that.” You try to smile. “And I know it’s lame but... I really do try and...” you look away and your cheeks heat up. “I don’t think I would if I didn’t like you too.” 
Another suffocating silence sucks the air out of the room. You fidget and stare at your boots. You wince as Peter steps closer. He surprises you as he pulls the jacket closed and does up the zipper. As the tab reaches the top, he taps your chin and you look up at him shyly. 
“Can I walk you home?” He asks as he brushes his hand down the sleeve and tickles your fingers. 
A full smile breaks through and you nod giddily, “sure.” You grab onto his hand, vibrating in vibrant excitement. Can he feel you shaking? 
“You still cold?” He asks as he tugs you towards the door. You shake your head but as you step outside, he puts his arm over your shoulder and pulls you close. He walks you down the pavement as a blistering wind blows around you. “Gotta keep my girl warm, huh?” 
“Your... girl?” You squeak. 
He hums and squeezes you tight, “all mine.” 
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Note
Hi! Can I ask for prompt 12?
Yo sorry for the long wait, here it is! Thank you for requesting!
Prompt list is here
Summary: Astarion gets drunk enough to finally sit down and do more than just flirt with you (by that I mean he talks to you)
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Getting drunk was never on Astarion's agenda, yet here he was, giddy from the combination of wine and bear's blood he'd just inhaled while you continued to sip from your cup, watching amused as he stumbles towards you.
"Ah, just the person I wanted to see. It's been far too long, darling, since we last talked."
"It's been half an hour."
"Still, darling. Far too long." He seats himself beside you rather unsteadily, gripping your arm. You can smell the wine on his breath as he leans in, fangs peeking out. Swallowing when he comes way too close, you gently try to push him away but he refuses to budge, instead burying his face into your neck and inhaling your scent.
"Astarion," you say warily. "You're drunk."
"Am I now, darling?" He laughs, trailing his fingers along your arm. "I don't think so."
"Astarion, I'm not going to —"
"Not going to?" He smiles, an index finger along your chin. His other hand moves towards the laces on his shirt, clumsily undoing them.
"I'm not going to take advantage of you." You firmly pull his shirt back up, covering the collarbone he just undressed. You push your cup away and rise from your seat, leading him away by the arm. All the while, he giggles, lavishing you with words of temptation but you ignore him, nudging him into his tent.
"Oh, here?" He grins, lying on the bedroll you gave him some time ago. He rests on his elbows, looking up at you and wiggles his eyebrows. You sit next to him, much to his surprise and he turns to face you, still propping himself up by the elbow. More honeyed words rest on the tip of his tongue but you never give him a chance to say them.
"No, not here." You shake your head, and he gets even more confused. Why then did you bring him to his tent, away from prying eyes? What did you want from him that required the both of you coming to his tent? Maybe his charms weren't working on you well enough, maybe you were just testing him, seeing how good he was at flirting. Well, he was about to show you just how good he was at this.
"The gods were showing off when they made you, darling, because you're the very definition of perfection." He purrs, leaning in closer until your lips are but mere inches apart and you pull back violently, pushing him backwards. He lets out a yelp as his back hits the floor and your eyes widen.
"I'm so sorry Astarion! I didn't mean to push you that hard!" There's panic in your voice, why? It won't be the first time his bedside partner has been rough with him, in fact he's quite used to it. He just needs to picture an empty space, pretend like he's floating and all the pain will fade away into a dull throb. He won't complain about the roughness, as long as you're happy he's happy…he thinks.
"Didn't know you liked it rough, my dear. You don't seem like the type, but I suppose appearances can be quite deceiving." He continues to upkeep the fake smile, but a small fear has started to grip him. In his drunken state, he's far less concerned about what happens tonight since he'll likely forget all about it the next morning but he'd rather not suffer too badly.
"I — I said I'm sorry! I don't — I'm not going to sleep with you alright? You're drunk and clearly not in the right state of mind, doing anything that requires consent would only be taking advantage of you." You desperately shake your head, shifting further away from him. "I only brought you here so that you'd be safe."
You look away, curling up into a ball and Astarion knows you're embarrassed. It's a habit of yours, one of the many he's noticed over the course of your journey together and in all honesty, he finds it cute. You remain curled in a ball even after you've finished being embarrassed and it then hits — you really don't want to sleep with him. All this while, you've remained on one side of the bedroll, never once entering his personal space. He's the one who has been going into your personal space, even though he too would rather not sleep with you if possible.
His mind hazy, he lies there, staring up at the ceiling of the tent in confusion. Most of his clients liked it when he was drunk, it meant he was more pliable, didn't resist as much, and they were free to do whatever they wanted to him. You, you were different. You wanted his consent before you did anything, wanted to know his opinion if the little incident with Araj was any indication. This was new to Astarion, at least he thinks it's new. Centuries of torture would erase all memories of the time before said torture, and memories of those centuries of torture are mostly a blur.
The wine has loosened his tongue tonight, and he dares to ask questions he would never have otherwise.
"Why do you keep me around?"
You look up, blinking. His gaze remains fixed on you through the silence, searching desperately for an answer.
"For your company, of course."
"Why me? Why not Karlach, or Wyll, or Shadowheart? They have so much more to offer, even Lae'zel. Why not them? The only thing I can offer…is something you won't even take from me." He whispers the last part. Fear gnaws away at him, the need to understand you wholly so that he can avoid your wrath tearing him apart, and his confusion isn't helping in the slightest. Whenever he was confused about Cazador's actions, it never bode well for him, and he was afraid the same would happen with you.
"Because they're not you. None of them have the sass that you have, none of them are as fun to be around as you are, none of them…are well…like you at all." You shrug, smiling softly at him. "I like spending time with you, whether it's talking or just sitting in silence. I enjoy your company, really I do, and we don't need to sleep with each other to spend time together."
"You…do?"
"Mmhm." You nod. He stares at you blankly, his mind struggling to find deception in your words but it comes up empty. You mean it, you mean everything you say. You aren't lying to him, not that you've ever done so. The edges of his vision blur and something wet trails down his cheek, causing him to quickly turn away before you catch sight of it.
"Do you want me to stay?" Your voice is soft, gentle, and full of concern.
"Please." He chokes. "I…enjoy your company as well."
"That's a relief," you chuckle. "Maybe we should…keep each other company more often."
"That sounds…nice."
"It's a deal then. Rest well, I'll be here when you wake up."
"Thank you."
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🚨 🚨 ‼️ 🇨🇳🇭🇰 HK/CHINESE SUOPOST V2 PART 1 HAS LANDED!!
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I never thought it would see the light of day because this draft got deleted like, 2 times and running. But it's here. It's finally here.
Below the cut is another long and lengthy Suopost V2 about his inherent Chineseness and, may I now congratulate, even further Hong Kongness! Not only that, but now we have Endo Yamato also starting to show signs of diagnosable Chineseness, and because my CN friend and I are ridiculously tweaky when it comes to overanalyzing characters who show even a smidge of Chinese in their eyes—this post was born! Sadly, because I am slow as hell when it comes to writing, this post only contains 11,000 words discussing Suo Hayato. You'll need to wait for Part 2 if you want to see me Hallelujahpost and Chinkpost Endo Yamato... blame my stupid baka life.
Now feast your eyes upon me having to correct my own errors in analysis that turns out to reveal even more Chinese connotations 😭😭😭💪!! This is VERY VERY long and has genuine deep analysis regarding a lot of China/HK culture/like 8 seconds of politics and 15 minutes of history + the weight behind some symbolism in Suo's name + theories regarding Suo's arc + Suo's absolutely yappable connection to 儒家思想/Confucianism.
Later in Part 2, we'll talk about Endo Yamato's biblical symbolism + alchemical influence + his connections to Suo, and how I can jokingly chinkpost him lol. I'll also be uploading a Reddit version of this post onto r/WindBreakerManga either tomorrow or the day after because I have to re-format a lot of things.
So strap in for a long and potentially mind-exploding ride because this is what happened to me while researching/writing all this. BTW, feel free to spam live commentary at me using Tumblr's comment function or something because I'd love to hear your thoughts while reading this whole gigantanorstus assfuck of a post... I'm not okay. I think I went insane. Niisato needs to pay me USD 1,664,800 for a new heart because I think mine stopped beating multiple times during research.
Before we begin, I'd like to tell everyone who has read my previous Suo chinkpost (v1) to DISREGARD EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT SUO'S FLOWER BEING PLUM BLOSSOMS. You'd think I'd be devastated to find out I have to retcon an entire analysis because I picked out the wrong flower. You'd be expecting Suo to lose Chinese aurapoints. I shit you not: he auramaxxed HARDER. It's like opening a Pandora's Box; you learn about the real flower and then 5 trillion more connotations are thrown at you at Mach 20. It is more over than I thought possible when I wrote the traditionally symbolic Chinese boypreggers marriage room part. And one connection caused me to spiral into another, thus stretching this post's wordcount into unholy numbers 😭
Anyway.
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In Suopost v1, I thought these fuckass flowers [IMG 1] next to Suo were plum blossoms [IMG 2] and, ngl! They look plenty like them. But after I read this mind-blowing char analysis + theory document made by u/Snowy-kitten, my jaw fell as:
Oops, Suo's name means Chinese redbud [IMG 3], and if Sakura's flowers are sakura, then Suo's flowers should be redbuds. Damn, I got it wrong, time to rewrite my Suopost. Sorry for spreading misinformation gu—
...What are these flowers called in Chinese anyway?
why do i hear boss musicHOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THEY'RE CALLED 紫荊花. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH M
Taken directly from the wonderful and super informative document which I highly advise you to read to fully understand this post, especially if you have time:
Su (蘇) – sappanwood, a wood that can be made into medicine used to improve blood circulation, treat wounds, and alleviate pain. It also symbolizes revival, resurrection
O (枋) – sappanwood or a tough wooden plank that can be used for crafting, maybe symbolizing the bridge of communication between other characters?
Suo (蘇枋) – Sappanwood, a deciduous shrub of the legume family (ie a small shrub that loses all its leaves in winter), or Chinese redbud, symbolizing family harmony, can be used as treatment for fever (No wonder why Sakura recovered after Suo visited him)
Haya (隼) – Falcon, a symbol of nobility (high status + wealth) in Japan, also symbolizes bravery, power and vision, is an icon of pursuit and movement, heading toward success (Falcon in other cultures also symbolizes freedom, which might have something to do with Suo’s dream – the liberation of slaves)
To (飛) – Fly or Flight
Hayato (隼飛) – Flying Falcon
Analysis: Most likely the key to the success of Sakura or Bofurin’s rebirth, if Sakura became the leader of Bofurin, Suo would most likely be his right-hand, just like Hiiragi and Umemiya
- Although Chinese redbud symbolizes family harmony in Chinese culture, it also symbolizes betrayal/death due to betrayal in the Bible
- Unlike other characters, Suo’s name contains more than one species of tree, would this be a hint of him having more than one identity, hence the traitor theory?*
*I'll elaborate with my own understanding on the traitor theory expanded from the information I've gotten from u/Snowy-kitten's document. Please please pleaser read their theories and their analyses!! It's super super good and deserves so much credit and a lot of this post is built from it.
-
1. Suo and the 'Chinese Redbud'
Suo's name is extremely fucking insane if viewed from a cultural lens — specifically the symbolism of the 'Chinese redbud' as well as some themes of the 'sappanwood'.
If you're from HK you might already be freaking out with me when you saw those three Chinese characters: 紫荊花, AKA the Chinese name of Suo's second plant after the sappanwood. You might be thinking, User Psychiwavementality, is it truly joever as it is? Is there no coming barack from the HK suoposting? Have we found salvation? Is Suo from Hong Kong, better yet, the Wind Breaker version of Sun Yee On or 14K???
Unfortunately, I have to inform you: no. 🥲 Suo's flower is NOT the bauhinia, known as the '洋紫荊' yang zijing/bauhinia x blakeana/羊蹄甲屬 (yang ti jia shu) which happens to be the official flower of Hong Kong.
Suo's flower is the '紫荊花', or the zijing hua/cercis chinensis, which, in China, can be found in southwest Guangdong, southern Guangxi, and southeastern Yunnan the most. <- These could be places Suo hails from!
However, the Chinese redbud/ZJH and the Bauhinia/YZJ are often used interchangeably (and also incorrectly), causing confusion and mix-ups between both flowers, as HK's 'yang zijing' is sometimes shortened directly to 'zijing'.
Outside of WBK, this shortening is a topic of political discussion. For reference, there is debate around the could-be or could-not-be intentional omission of the 洋 (yang) character in Mainland China when referring to the yang zijing (making it simply zijing (hua) and not the YZJ) as well as how it affects HK.
There was discussion when the HK's Gov. omitted the 'yang' and referred to the YZJ as the 'zijing hua' in our Basic Law. If you want to get a gist of the discussion it feel free to Google Translate this image because mobile Tumblr only lets me embed 10 images and I need to use it sparingly lol.
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From Wikipedia:
洋紫荊作為香港法定代表花卉,在《香港特別行政區基本法》第一章第十條提述香港區旗及區徽時被稱作「紫荊花」,英文版則使用泛指羊蹄甲屬的「bauhinia」。然而「紫荊花」一名除在中國南方多泛指羊蹄甲屬外,也可以泛指紫荊亞科的其他花卉,甚至特指紫荊屬物種紫荊(Cercis chinensis)的花。紫荊與洋紫荊兩個物種的花朵外觀有顯著分別,但因中國大陸媒體多依照「紫荊花」一名來宣傳香港市花[註 3],引致部分中國大陸民眾誤以為香港市花為紫荊的花。
(Edited MTL):
As the legal representative flower of Hong Kong, Bauhinia is called "紫荊花 (ZJH)" when referring to the Hong Kong regional flag and regional emblem in Article 10 of Chapter 1 of the Basic Law of the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region.
The English version uses "bauhinia" which generally refers to the genus Bauhinia. However, the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)", in addition to generally referring to the genus Cercis chinensis in southern China, can also generally refer to other flowers of the subfamily Bauhinia, and even specifically refers to the flowers of the genus Cercis chinensis.
There are significant differences in the appearance of the flowers of the two species, Cercis chinensis and Bauhinia x blakeana. However, because the mainland Chinese media mostly uses the name "紫荊花 (ZJH)" to promote the municipal flower of Hong Kong, some people in mainland China mistakenly believe that the municipal flower of Hong Kong is the 紫荊花 (ZJH).
(I'm not shitting you when I tell you even Google Translate didn't pick up on the nuances between yang zijing and zijing hua 😭😭 also the scientific names have me tripping so the MTL might be wrong yet I'm too blurry to correct it properly... if any native Chinese speaker wants to write a proper TL in the comments I allow you to help me!!)
2. What does this mean for Suo?
The Lack of '洋 (yang)':
(This part touches a little on HK/China/UK history and politics.)
Now that you know the difference between the 'yang zijing' and the 'zijing hua', let me explain some possible symbolism that Suo might carry by having the ZJH as his other plant and not the YZJ.
In Chinese, '洋' means 'foreign'. And yes, Suo likes foreign tea and cakes. Anyway, some people think that the omission of '洋’ is a way to be politically accurate as it may carry connotations of HK being colonized by the UK, and the Mainland Gov. is known to be against the colonization of Hong Kong, often being reluctant to admit that HK belonged to the UK in a brief period of history after signing an unequal treaty. The Mainland Gov. commonly asserts that HK has always been a part of China even during the colonial period, claiming that HK was rightfully returned to its roots on the 1st of July, 1997.
Hence, there is the omittance of 'yang/foreign' from 'yang zijing', whether unintentional or not, when referring to HK's flower, resulting in many current-gen Mainlanders referring to it as the ZJH, which if intentional, could be used as a way to linguistically minimize the alienation between HK and China.
Theories/Speculation as to why it was omitted:
There are multitudes of reasons why Nii Satoru could have chosen to use the ZJH instead of the YZJ in Suo's name.
On a practical level, one reason may be because Suo's name is intended to have double meanings—sappanwood and the Chinese redbud—to show that he has two sides to him, most likely being connections to Chinese culture. Nii Satoru might have been unable to use this two-sided symbolism if he used the YZJ instead, hence why he used the ZJH instead of the YZJ; furthermore, there is a cultural story that comes with the ZJH that could very well coincide and foreshadow Suo's arc which I will explain soon. I personally think this is the most likely reason.
Another practical reason is that Nii Satoru genuinely had no idea there was a difference between the YZJ and the ZJH and, if he ends up revealing that Suo is a born-and-raised in HK lad, he made an honest mistake while trying to hint at Suo being from Hong Kong.
Nii Satoru could also not want to be too 'on-the-nose' when hinting at Suo having correlations to HK, OR he wanted to imply that Suo was originally from China and immigrated to HK at a young age — or it could be hinting at his ancestors moving from China to HK, which was common back in the 'golden era of HK' spurred forward by its advancement in the film industry as well as budding business opportunities for being an international trading hub. Either way, it could have meant to be a nod towards Suo being from China and not Japan/HK etc.
On a theory/canon level, Suo could have intentionally chose this Japanese name for himself and intentionally omitted the '洋 (yang)'/'foreign' character. He could've done it because he dislikes its implications, that he's a stranger in a foreign land (Japan). Or he could be touchy about his identity as a 'foreigner' — what differentiates him from the Japanese? Hence why he dresses and expresses himself so Chinese-ly — or he could've done it to show that he's freeing himself of his roots — people who leave their OG culture behind often become walking time capsules of That Particular Period, and the loss of '洋 (yang)' could also imply he's losing his connections to Hong Kong/the triad. The latter ties in with my tiny theory that Suo's hair is short because he cut it as a way to symbolize him breaking away from his shixiong/shidi, yet his past still haunts him in the way his tassel earrings resemble long hair at times. (The flower meaning of ZJH is also very very in line with this latter theory. I will elaborate more in my next part about the meaning of the Chinese redbud/ZJH.)
Suo could also be omitting this character on purpose to reconnect with his Chinese side after immigrating to HK and then Japan, I suppose? This might be EXTREMELY controversial to show in HK/China if he shows bias towards one side's culture by stepping away from the other, and I don't see a way this can be written without stomping on one side's good graces + provoking political disgruntlement amongst HK/CN readers, so this is probably not going to be an option up for consideration (hopefully).
Furthermore, if Suo also shows favor of JP culture/claiming that he's JP over being HK/CN as his arc and that he's abandoning his past identity as a Chinese/HK person, I promise you that some CN readers might become unhappy as there are long-standing grudges between the Chinese and the Japanese from WW2 that are too long to elaborate here. If you're curious to learn about it, search up 'Nanjing Massacre' and 'Unit 731' to see for yourself — please heed a TW for extreme brutality and inhumane torture.
OK, this is the last of all things political, but I promise the historical part will still continue. Let's move on.
3. The Meaning and Stories Behind the Zijing Hua/Chinese Redbud and The Yang Zijing/Bauhinia x blakeana
In Chinese culture, the Chinese redbud/zijing hua has a well-known cultural story behind it. It is deeply tied to the flower meaning of the Chinese redbud -- which has core symbolisms of familial reunion/love (親情) and brotherly harmony (兄弟和睦). And to any SuoSaku enjoyer's delight, they also symbolize steadfast love, passion, and affection; it is known to be a well-received gift for husbands and wives; it can even symbolize a strong and loyal friendship (if you're into that). The growth structure of a Chinese redbud, as said by a user in an online Chinese forum to whom I will graciously quote:
3、倔强坚强
紫荆花的花语为倔强坚强,紫荆花的花朵生长的十分紧凑,就算在阴雨天气,叶片被大风所吹动,不断摇慎态摆,也不会掉落,好似一位倔强的人,永远不会向困难低头,努力拼搏,最终收获成功。
(Edited MTL):
3. Stubborn and strong
The flower language of the zijing hua is stubbornness and strength. The flowers of the zijing hua grow very compactly. Even in rainy weather, the leaves are blown by strong winds and keep swaying cautiously, but they will not fall off. Just like a stubborn person, they will never bow their head to difficulties, work hard and exert oneself to the utmost, and ultimately achieve success.
It can also symbolize new beginnings, just like Sakura's sakura:
紫荊花的象徵意義 紫荊花象徵著愛情、美麗和純潔。 在中國傳統文化中,紫荊花還被視為春天的使者,寓意著新生命和新的希望。
(Edited MTL)
The symbolic meaning of zijing hua symbolises love, beauty and purity. In traditional Chinese culture, the zijing hua is also regarded as the messenger of spring, implying new life and new hope.
Moving on to English sources, I've basically learned that the Chinese redbud:
Is not resistant to winter frost, but is generally able to survive the cold. Suo's favorite season may be winter, but both the sappanwood and the Chinese redbud are not resistant to either the cold or frost, with the first losing all its leaves in winter and the second potentially dying to snow/frost (like most plants lol.) Despite being resistant to the rain and heat of spring and summer and being able to tolerate degrees under 38°C (remember Suo not breaking a sweat when training in the summer with Furin?), Chinese redbuds fall short when it comes to braving brutal winters, thriving best when the temperature is above 10°C.
They bloom during spring, around March-April. Could this be a parallel as to why Suo idolizes Ume, the 'plum blossom' that can bloom in the cold of winter? For being able to stay resilient and stand proudly/beautifully even amidst harsh and stressful conditions?
Has many parts can be utilized for traditional Chinese medicine, cooking, and decoration. The wood and the bark have been used to treat abscesses, bladder ailments, and head troubles. Treats bladder diseases, post-partum discharges, bleeding piles, and internal parasites; its flowers are used for relieving rheumatic muscles and joint pain. Even the flowers can be eaten raw or pickled, containing vitamin C with a fresh and acidic taste. The bark of young shoots can be used to weave baskets, as the wood of Cercis species is generally of good quality. -> Suo's plants can both weave baskets and act as good wood...
Is also known for its ornamental purposes, and has a neighboring family tree—the Cercis siliquastrum, known as the 'Judas Tree', which is a symbol of betrayal. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus and committed suicide by hanging himself from a redbud tree. Additionally, I was told by my friend that u/Snowy-kitten realized the kanji for Suo's name is is 蘇枋(すおう), but the tree he represents is Chinese redbud (花蘇芳/ハナズオウ/hanazuou in Japanese). 蘇枋 and 蘇芳 are pronounced the same and one of the hanakotoba (flower language) of 花蘇芳 is apparently death by betrayal.
While the Chinese redbud/ZJH is known for these traits, the YZJ is a little bit different; it was difficult to find meanings and symbolism for the Bauhinia x blakeana due to it being a lesser-known flower + a sterile hybrid flower.
Locally, the leaves of the YZJ are considered "clever leaves" and a symbol of wisdom; sometimes harvested to be dried into bookmarks to bring good luck in studies.
The Bauhinia x blakeana is a hybrid between the Bauhinia purpurea and then Bauhinia variegata. But I could not find anything about the symbolism of the Bauhinia purpurea... I looked at some other ones in the Bauhinia genus, though.
From what I found, the genus has flowers that typically represent new beginnings (is he twinning Sakura?), feminine beauty (he's still ♂ fertile ♂ like that), grace, elegance, and nobility.
Bauhinia kappleri:
Historically, it has been seen as a symbol of unity due to its bilobed leaves resembling joined hands. This symbolism was especially prominent in cultures that valued harmony and cohesiveness. [...] Pink Bauhinia represents grace, unity, and resilience. Its delicate yet sturdy appearance communicates a balance of beauty and strength. [...] In Chinese culture, for instance, it symbolizes renewal and new beginnings [...] Meanwhile, in Western contexts, it often represents appreciation and noble elegance.
Bauhinia acuminata:
The Bauhinia acuminata's striking appearance symbolizes beauty, elegance, and grace. It is often associated with the ideals of feminine beauty and charm. In some cultures, these blossoms are seen as symbols of new beginnings and growth, making them popular choices for weddings and other celebrations.
Bauhinia variegata:
1. [...] the white orchid has held reverence throughout Chinese culture and stands as a symbol of nobility, beauty, and innocence.
2. The Orchid Tree holds symbolic meaning in several cultures. In India, it is associated with love, fertility, and prosperity, often featured in weddings and religious ceremonies. In Chinese culture, Bauhinia variegata is a symbol of beauty, grace, and the fleeting nature of life.
Bauhinia x blakeana in Chinese Sources:
在中國文化中,紫色常代表高貴與權力,而洋紫荊則代表了優雅和力量。 此外,洋紫荊還象徵著團結和繁榮,這也使它成為許多盛大活動的首選花卉。
(Edited MTL)
In Chinese culture, the color purple often represents nobility and power, while the yang zijing represents elegance and strength. In addition, the yang zijing symbolizes unity and prosperity, which makes it the flower of choice for many grand events.
I have a headache. 🤕 Am I just yapping or was this all preordained by Nii Satoru?
Do you still remember that Suo's earrings are made of coral? The very coral that symbolizes a lofty status, auspiciousness, nobility, power, and eternity? 🤕
It's all coming together...
The Story of Three Brothers and the Zijing Hua Tree/田真兄弟:
This story could very well be a direct hint towards Suo's future martial siblings + how his arc will end. I vaguely remember(?) studying this passage for DSE unseen 文言文s so I managed to find it again. I'll cross-reference and do a direct word-to-word translation. If you understand Chinese I recommend just reading the 文言文 because it has more of the OG meaning 💪
原文/Original:
京兆田真兄弟三人,共议分财。生资皆平均,唯堂前一株紫荆树,共议欲破三片。翌日就截之,其树即枯死,状如火然。真往见之,大愕,谓诸弟曰:“树本同株,闻将分斫,固憔悴,是人不如木也。” 因悲不自胜,不复解树。树应声荣茂,兄弟相感,遂和睦如初。
註釋/Glossary
(1)京兆:京城地區。
(2)生資:生活資料。
(3)皆:都。
(4)唯:只有。
(5)破:使之破為。
(6)就:開始。
(7)即:立即;立刻。
(8)狀:形狀;狀態。
(9)然:通假字,同“燃”,燃燒。
(10)翌日:第二天
(11)愕:驚訝。
(12)諸:眾;
(13)斫(zhuó):砍。
(14)勝:承受;控制。
(15)憔悴:枯死。
(16)故:所以。
(17)解:分解。
(18)其:他家的。
(19) 堂:門。
(20)株:棵。
(21)遂:於是。
句子翻譯/Sentence TLs:
1、翌日就截之:第二天就準備截斷它。
2、狀如火然:形狀像被火燃燒過一樣。
3、樹木同株,聞將分斫,故憔悴,是人不如木也:樹本來是同根的,聽到要砍斷分開,所以枯死了,我們人都不如樹木。
4、樹應聲榮茂:紫荊樹聽到(田真的)話後(立刻)枝葉繁茂(了起來)。
My attempt at an English TL:
In the capital city [Beijing], the three Tianzhen brothers divided their property. All other assets [means of living] had already been evenly divided; all except the Chinese redbud tree/zijing tree in front of the door. They discussed and agreed to split the tree into three pieces each. The next day, they prepared to cut the tree down, but the tree immediately withered to death, as if it had been torched by a flame. The oldest brother looked at the sight and was extremely stunned, saying to his younger brothers: "This tree is originally from the same root. It heard it was going to be separated after it was felled, and thus, it withered. We, as humans, were no match for/couldn't live up to even a tree."
Because they were unable to bear with/contain their remorse, the brothers decided not to cut the tree. When the Chinese redbud/zijing tree heard the eldest brother's words, it immediately sprouted flowers once more. The Tianzhen brothers were astonished and emotional and thus returned to their harmonious relationship from the beginning.
From this, I'm heavily inclined to believe that:
Suo is one of three brothers/martial siblings.
Suo left/they left Suo due to family issues or family inheritance trials.
Suo's arc will end well, with all brothers reaching an understanding and becoming friendly again.
OR, Suo is the Chinese redbuds/zijing tree in this scenario.
Suo might end up facing Endo because the passage mentions 'as if it had been torched by a flame [状如火然]'. Endo's name is '棪堂' -> this also means something else which u/Snowy-kitten mentioned, it being 'a tree that bears edible red fruit' in Chinese, which contributes to Endo's biblestuff. But let's analyze it later in Endo's part.
Chinese can somewhat be considered playing Pictionary—if you separate the words from 「棪堂」 into three: 「木」、「炎」、「堂」, you could literally interpret this as, in 文言文/Classical Chinese, 「Tree/Wood」、「Flames Rising」、「Courtyard/Doorfront」
This coincides with the "Chinese redbud tree/ZJH" looking as if it "had been torched aflame" in front of the house/the courtyard/the door.
In conclusion, this might allude to Suo having to fight Endo, or Endo having to fight Suo to get him back due to a family feud—and Suo might get heavily injured. His martial brothers might realize the impact of their actions and finally retreat and make up.
Suo and Sappanwood:
Sappanwood can make a type of valuable red dye named brazilin.
The character of 'Su' (蘇) in JP also means resurrection, reviving, resuscitation, and rehabilitation.
The red pigment found in the sappanwood tree (brazilin) has also been used to treat wounds and ward off infections, encouraging faster healing.
Sappanwood isn’t as favoured for extracting dyes as brazilwood, though—the discovery of brazilwood led to a boom in red pigments due to its greater concentration, whereas sappanwood was much less saturated in comparison.
This is pure yappanese but maybe Suo sees himself as inferior compared to his brothers...
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That's the color of the dye sappanwood creates and that is the color of Suo's eye and his coral earring. I don't need to say anything more, right?
4. FALCON KICK 𓅃𓅃 FALCON PUNCH 𓅃𓅃
Rejoice!! We have made it to the next section of Suo's name at last!! I never thought I'd get here!!!! LET'S MAKE THIS QUICK (it's not quick).
Again, from the document that u/Snowy-kitten wrote, "隼" means 'falcon' and "飛" means 'fly/flight', spelling out "隼飛" lit. 'flying falcon'.
Reviewing the Symbolism Blargh Off This Page: (OG text has been slightly edited)
"The falcon represents vision, freedom, and victory. Hence, it also connotes salvation to those who are in bondage whether moral, emotional, or spiritual." <- I find it very interesting that many of Suo's symbolisms tie back to things relating to a new beginning/healing: salvation, revitalization, resurrection, a new hope, etc., which falls in line with his dream: the liberation of slaves. And look, I know this possibly means Suo breaking free of whatever chains down his heart, but ACTUALLY Suo will be stuck in 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 bondage and then be saved by EndoSaku. Trust me y'all I'm Nii Satoru's right-hand man
"In Christian symbolism, the wild falcon represents the unconverted, materialistic soul and its sinful thoughts and deeds. The tamed bird symbolizes the Christian convert pursuing his lofty thoughts, hopes, and aspirations with courage." <- I don't think Suo is wild or tame or Christian in particular, but you could take it as current-Suo suppressing and masking his true identity/emotions. And that actually makes sense when you remember how Suo nearly went Insanity.PNG during KEEL Arc and Sakura had to stop him from continuing to pummel a guy when he was down; when Sakura admitted he was pissed at himself and turned away Suo thought 'I really am no match for you'. On one hand, this could be explained extremely well if we view it from a Confucian + Suo's theory of adulthood lens which will be talked about later in Part 6. However, this could also symbolize Suo being bound in emotional chains and having... wtf, 'sinful thoughts'? That he's suppressing?? Maybe that's why he doesn't use his phone around people coz there's a bunch of 料 (blackmail) in there 🤣. And when Suo gets his arc I suppose he gets 'tamed' and is finally free to pursue his aspirations with courage (being with Furin and supporting Sakura), which will effectively act as another new beginning/his healing—further tying into his whole shtick surrounding resurrection revitalization healing salvation blah blah blah. (POV: the 'Suo has no Christian allusions' part comes to bite me back in the ass via. Taiping Rebellion parallels where an ethnically Han Chinese mf in Suo's triad or Noroshi proclaims to be "Endo's brother-in-christ" slash the brother of the WBK Jesus Christ. And then I kill myself)
"In Egyptian hieroglyphs, the falcon glyph was used in words and phrases such as 'god', 'pharaoh', 'greatness', 'year', 'sovereign', 'star', 'hour', 'prayer', 'land', and 'world'. It was associated with the deity of the sky, of kingship, and of the sun, Horus [...] In early dynasties, the king’s ascension was known as the “Flight of the Falcon”." <- Aha! AHA! YEAH MORE NOBILITY HOURS AND A DIRECT REFERENCE TO THE DEFINITION OF HAYATO. Okay. So. This is highly unlikely to happen but imagine Suo becomes the head of his triad branch. Or maybe this means that Suo is the heir to something lofty... deadass the fated ascension to big bad boss which he skedaddled from or was denied from, who knows?
"The Eye of Horus, the Egyptian symbol for the Sun, depicts a stylized falcon's eye and face markings. It signified royal power and protection from danger, evil, and ill health." <- More nobility/higher status allusions and illness-warding shit, typical Suo Hayato behavior.
"A human-headed falcon served as a symbol of the human soul on its flight from this world to the afterlife. Similarly, the crossed arms of Egyptian mummies were intended to symbolize the folded wings of a falcon at rest." <- And here we have more Suoshit related to afterlife-isms resurrection-isms and new beginnings-isms. Chat can I stop talking about Suo Hayato ... he's just a never-ending Pandora's 24-hour unboxing video...
"The sport of hunting with falcons was associated with nobility in Europe, Japan, and China, where falcons symbolized keen vision, boldness, and power." <- 'Takagari (鷹狩) is Japanese falconry, a sport of the noble class, and a symbol of their nobility, their status, and their warrior spirit.' - Wikipedia.
To continue with Wikipedia: In the 13th century, hawking became popular among the rising samurai class as well as among court nobles (kuge). At that time, the practice of hawking was a means of resolving struggles over land ownership among lords. <- This feels a little similar to the splitting of property mentioned in the Tianzhen brothers!
What's more interesting about falconry is that falcons typically wear 'falcon hoods' that blind them, which forces them to be calm.
The bird wears a hood, which is used in the manning process (acclimatizing to humans and the human world) and to keep the raptor in a calm state, both in the early part of its training and throughout its falconry career. Out of all the falconer's aids, the hood is the most important piece of equipment. There are various styles and types of hoods for raptors within falconry. The hood is handmade, often from kip leather or suitable kangaroo leather. —Wikipedia
Suo's eyepatch is made from leather as mentioned in his character sheet even though nowadays, a lot of eyepatches and most medical eyepatches are made with cloth and/or other adhesive materials.
What's more, a majority of traditional falconry gloves/gauntlets have tassels extremely close if not similar designs to the earrings Suo wears:
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Remember when Suo once mentioned that he had an 'ancient Chinese dragon spirit sealed away in his eye', hence the eyepatch? Maybe there's weight behind that joke because he might lose his composure if the eyepatch is taken away.
If Suo is a trained falcon belonging to his family—although he's 'flying' right now, either for a hunt or free roam—he's been educated in a way that eventually, he will always turn back and roost on the gloves of his master.
"The falcon was seen as the bird of Princes, the gyrfalcon the bird of Kings, and the eagle the bird of Emperors. [...] A falcon [would be released] at the funerals of Pharaohs. This illustrates the ancient view of raptors as intermediaries between the divine and eternal heavens and the mortal earth." <- The 'bird of Princes' part really makes me want to believe Suo is truly in a high-ranking and potentially triad-inheriting position of power; he could really be a 'prince' of sorts for his gang... The O (枋) in Suo can stand for a 'sturdy plank', and even 'raft/boat', which might symbolize him being a bridge of connection between the 'divine and eternal heavens' (his triad/family/whatever dude) and the 'mortal earth' (Furin).
"Furthermore, falcons are represented by the constellation Aquila [lit meaning eagle], as are all raptors. This constellation is said to confer the qualities of boldness, ambition, courage, liberty, generosity, penetrating vision, and a noble spirit, along with a gift for martial arts and the fabrication of weapons.
"This contrasts with a vulnerability to and enmity toward reptiles and their symbolic qualities of deceitfulness, underhandedness (venom), vindictiveness, and baseness of spirit.
[OP's Quick Interjection: from the source some mf added a little 'that aint falco' after the following part and I gotta agree. But also, falcons and eagles are both under raptors as birds of prey, and from what I've seen, Suo is the only known person in WBK so far to have a bird of prey in his name, so I'll still keep this here as food for thought—as well as a theory I have for later.]
"Reflecting this opposition, the battling eagle and serpent has been a motif from ancient times, common to Western, Eastern and New World civilizations. See classical Roman statuary, the ancient coat of arms of Mexico and the Garuda emblems of Indonesia, Thailand and Ulan Bator. The dichotomy can also be seen in the eagle and the rattlesnake competing to be symbols of the Revolutionary United States in the 18th century."
Right. So. I have a lot to say about this chunk. The first is the numerous stories of raptors, mainly eagles, and serpents/snakes, as well as my theory that the family Suo has been sworn into will feature new characters with birds of prey as their joining kanji.
I'll elaborate on the latter first because it's shorter: so far, out of all of the named and introduced people in WBK up till Rooftop Fight, not a single person except Suo contains the character of an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey.
The only person who comes remotely close to having birds as a symbol is Chika Takiishi and the full-page spread ft. his fight with Umemiya which u/Just_EveB theorized to be the karura, which originates from the Garuda in Hinduism (will also elaborate later). But even Chika doesn't have any bird radical in his name. Shishitoren isn't exempt from this; the gang known for people with animal radicals only contains land mammals and reptilians:
Tomoyama Choji (兎耳山 丁子) = rabbit
Togame Jo (十亀 条) = tortoise
Sako Kouta (佐狐 浩太) = fox
Arima Yukinari (有馬 雪成) = horse
Kanuma Minoru (鹿沼 稔) = ♫ Shikanokonokonokokoshitantan ♫
(There's also Inugami Teruomi who is a dog for "inu" but I CAN'T FIND HIS KANJI AND HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE??? FREE MY MAN!!!)
Even other characters who happen to have an animal in their name e.g. Hiiragi Toma (柊 登馬) (馬 -> horse) don't have an animal capable of flight, much less a bird of prey, and no one has the radical for bird (鳥).
Hence, I'm genuinely going to go out on a limb and say that the family Suo has sworn into—or his biological brothers or martial brothers or whatever fucked-up triad business he's in—will have characters containing '鳥' (bird) or one of the following in their names: 鷹、鵰、鳶、鵟、鷂、鴞、鵂鶹、魚鷹、鷲, which are respectively eagle, eagle but different*, kite, buteo, the birds that are under here, owl, collared owlet, osprey, and vulture. OR, if these family members have Chinese names instead of JP, it's plausible they have the same pinyin pronunciation as some of these.
*Btw, this is the difference between a 鷹 and a 鵰. Don't even ask me tbh
Next up, let's talk about the correlations between birds of prey and serpents. I did some scouring through the internet and dug up quite a lot of stuff.
Let's first establish that the only person so far who has been shown with serpent/snake imagery is none other than Endo Yamato himself.
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(And yes, I switched to desktop just to embed more images, I'm crying. Anyway, these panels are all taken from Chapters 144 and 145.)
The tattoo on Endo's neck, an infinity symbol, is derived from the ouroboros, a snake/serpent/dragon biting its own tail.
It symbolizes 'eternal cyclic renewal' or 'a cycle of life, death and rebirth'. Wow, so Suocore.
(BTW, in some religions... the ouroboros is also a fertility symbol. This just in: Suo, Sakura, and Endo are all ♂fertile♂)
I have so much more to say about Endo's tattoos but that's reserved for when I'm done with Suo Hayato... so let's go back to the topic of serpents and eagles and their tales.
Here's some prominent stuff I found:
Aesop's fable: This is the first example I managed to find. It's a story about how kindness will always be repaid. I honestly can't seem to think of a way this coincides with Suo/Suo's family/Endo etc. You can click on it to read the story yourself. Like, I think Endo's on a path to pseudo-redemption or at least 'potential future allies', and I can't see a reason why? He'd want to poison? Somebody?? Even 'figuratively'. Like, let's pretend my theory of Suo's family having birds of prey in their names is correct. Why would one of Suo's martial bros, or better yet the head honcho or something, swoop in to save this Countryman from Endoshittalk? But well, if anyone can think of anything, feel free to comment on it!!
Thus Spoke Zarathustra:
An eagle soared through the sky in wide circles, and on him there hung a serpent, not like prey but like a friend: for she kept herself wound around his neck. “These are my animals,” said Zarathustra and was happy in his heart. “The proudest animal under the sun and the wisest animal under the sun” […]
“That I might be wiser! That I might be wise through and through like my serpent! But there I ask the impossible: so I ask my pride that it always go along with my wisdom. And when my wisdom leaves me one day—alas, it loves to fly away—let my pride then fly with my folly.”
Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, “Zarathustra's Prologue,” translated by Walter Kaufmann.
This is something that also came up, yet this is a more different example compared to the beginning—instead of feuding, the eagle and snake are in harmony, representing the mind and body becoming one, as well as taken from u/__Can__ from the linked Reddit post detailing what they symbolize:
It represents the highest strivings/capacities in man (eagle) and the lowest and more earthly/instinctive faculties (serpent). They are not opposed to one another but are rather one. Just like the other metaphor Nietzsche used, the tree (thought as the self-actualizing man) that if it wants to grow towards heaven (the highest in man) has to have its roots deep beneath the earth in the dark and evil layers of the psyche so to speak. You have to integrate your obscure and evil side in order to become whole.
There's a lot of tree imagery that I'm not really familiar with but know exists in WBK... such as that time Sakura's branch was nearly snapped off by Endo. To me this feels more like a general 'concept' that can be written into the story rather than an important foreshadowing towards future arcs ... plus I haven't read the book so I can't commentate on the philosophies of Nietzsche, so far the only thing I know about him is that he is one of the philosophers outspoken on overcoming Nihilism... taken from a deleted Reddit user:
People who haven’t read or understood Nietzsche think he is a nihilist, which is a bit understandable as his thought is complex, and he was a devastating critic of both dominant and trendy movements/institutions and their values. I believe he once described himself as a maggot that goes into a wound to eat away at the decaying flesh to clean it out. He also described himself as philosophizing with a hammer. In many ways, he is one of the intellectual fathers of postmodern deconstructionism. Which can often border on the nihilistic, but Nietzsche wasn’t simply trying to tear everything we believed in down for its own sake, his intention was to make things better.
From a site (really good read about Nietzsche and Buddhism):
Nietzsche aimed to overcome nihilism by affirming the unconditional embrace of existence. For him, life was not to be denied but rather created by one’s own value system, and built on the foundation of understanding that there is no inherent meaning in the universe. Nishianti describes this process as “dying the great death in the abyss of nihility and coming back to life again” (1983, 233). In doing so, active nihilism becomes a transitional stage rather than an end in itself. It is the abyss into which we must descend, “the darkest night before the dawn” (Nietzsche, 1968, 12). It is through the experiential stages of active nihilism that an individual strives for the heights of the ideal being, the übersmench. He asserted that living by one’s own ‘noble morality’ is characterized as a vigorous, free, and joyful existence, ruled by an innate “will to overpower, and will to rule” (1968, 16). From his works, it is evident that Nietzsche detested the weak and humble man who sought to escape the realities of life.
I can somewhat link Nietzsche's theories on nihilism with the process of creating the Philosopher's Stone (nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo), which is suuuuper interesting because Endo has vaguely alchemic symbols tattooed onto him. But again I'm digressing.
Norse Mythology [1] and [2]: According to ancient Norse mythology, the World Tree Yggdrasil has an unnamed eagle at the top and a serpent/dragon named Nidhogg at the bottom, and beneath the eagle there is a hawk named Vedrfolnir, standing for '"storm pale", "wind bleached", or "wind-witherer". Between them, there is also a squirrel named Ratatoskr who carries messages between the eagle and Nidhogg.
From Wikipedia: In historical Viking society, 'níð'(nid) was a term for a social stigma, implying the loss of honor and the status of a villain. Thus, its name might refer to its role as a horrific monster in its action of chewing the corpses of the inhabitants of Náströnd: those guilty of murder, adultery, and oath-breaking.
It's faster to just attach images of me and my friend tweaking:
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I might one day do a separate post about Norsestuff and Furin because this is really interesting.
This entire Reddit comment section: Talks about the historical significance of the eagle and the snake in tales, depictions, etc. From u/Wayrin:
This symbol goes way way way back. There are depictions of eagles with snakes going back to Babylon and Elam around 3000 BCE. Of course the image was borrowed by everyone and the Egyptians saw it as Horus defeating Seth. Similarly Ahura Mazda was depicted as an eagle and Ahriman as a dragon. The Greeks borrowed the idea of the eagle as a symbol of resurrection from later Egyptian tradition and then it starts popping up everywhere. India, Indonesia, Rome and all over the Mediterranean. Most of these traditions use the Eagle to represent some great good. Usually a god related to the sun combating the forces of evil the snake. We believe the symbol to be borrowed and expanded (except for Mesoamerica) since they have so many commonalities. A lot of the stories have the Serpent winning over the Eagle before the Eagle triumphs. If you can access it, this is my source "Eagle and Serpent. A study in the Migration of Symbols." It was written in 1939 though so take it with a grain of salt.
And from u/tonycmyk, about ancient Mesopotamia:
[...] The snake/serpent has always represented the giving of knowledge to humans and the connection to earth. The eagle has always represented power over the earth and war. And this symbolism can be traced back through every ancient culture we know of and probably the ones we don’t. Powerful stuff.
Something not related to Suo: So about the Karura... the theorized demon JoJo stand that Chika has in the spread originated under 'Garuda' in Hinduism. You can read more about Garudas VS. Nagas here and the common point between Karuras and Garudas is that they're both depicted as people who feud constantly with dragons/serpents/snakes. In Hinduism, though, Nagas aren't depicted as evil like in Christianity. (And they're also a symbol of fertility... Endo's more ♂fertile♂ than Suo confirmed...)
5. Final Closing Notes on Suo
So, in summary, what do I think about Suo?
... What do I think about Suo... (crushing the chopsticks in my hand) I have multiple proposals as to what Suo is doing in Furin and what's going on with his family. And other Suostuff in general.
Falcon flying away: - To me, I see this as Suo leaving the family for a brief period, similar to how falconers can train their falcons to hunt but inevitably return to their owner. - If Suo's arc involves him cutting ties with his family, then this part could also symbolize Suo's desire to leave his original background behind in favor of Furin. - If the falcon symbolizes Suo's family as a whole, then this could represent the downfall of Suo's triad/noble family too, or that they're conducting some of their business elsewhere from their place of origin (*suspiciously Chinese ringtone starts to echo from my phone holder*)
u/Snowy-kitten's traitor Suo theory: Suo could be a spy in Furin. He could be scoping out the area for his own triad/gang/whatever. But what's most curious is the already-existing relevance between Endo and Suo that u/Snowy-kitten pointed out: Suo’s given name and Endo’s given name, Hayato and Yamato respectively are the names of two ancient Japanese tribes. [...] The Hayato is a tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed during the Nara period. The Yamato is another tribe of ancient Japanese people that existed alongside the Hayato. The Hayato frequently resisted the Yamato rule until the year 720 when the Hayato rebellion broke out. It was a rebellion of the Hayato against the Yamato. The rebellion ended in the year 721 with the Yamato being victorious. The interesting thing about the name 'Yamato' as u/Snowy-kitten also mentions is that its kanji (哉真斗) holds almost no meaning in JP. In Chinese, though, this can more or less translate to an expression, 'Ah, a real fight!' as '哉' in classical Chinese can be translated into an exclamation of sorts (「哉」可表示感嘆、疑問及反問語氣,相等於「啊」、「呢」、「嗎」), the '真' translates to 'real/true', and the '斗' (or 鬥 in trad) translates to 'fight'. So in the end, the Serpent VS. Eagle thing might happen in the form of Endo fighting Suo himself or Endo fighting one of Suo's family members.
Tsuge-chan and Suo: Remember this part?
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Yeah, so, wtf was that? Fun facts on Tsuge's name from u/Snowy-kitten again (thank you bro you're saving my life):
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I feel like Tsuge is going to be interlinked with Suo's backstory, that maybe he knows something more about Suo's 'family' than anyone in Furin should. Whether or not the XL river in Tsuge's name can be crossed with a bridge from another character's name or not... IDK we'll see if said bridge can be crossed when we get to it or burnt in favor of Suo lol... because Suo mentions bridge building in his character song gg
My final hard read on Suo's arc (take this with 2 mouthfuls of salt): - Suo will be called away briefly and leaves Furin either without notice or on short notice. He might leave behind enough clues to let Furin know why or where he's going. Or he might leave none at all, and Tsuge has to guess and explain what's most likely going on. - Endo might have to fight Suo in some way. Or he ends up fighting Suo's older martial siblings (the 'eagle') and triumphs over them. - If the oldest is truly the 'eagle', then there will be a younger one, the second-in-command, the 'hawk', like in Norse mythology. - I might come up with more stuff and I'll edit this into here as time comes.
6. I Lied
Suo isn't over. We still have to talk about how well he fulfills the shit we learnt in the HKDSE about our goat Johnny Hung's virtues/morals/principles.
So anyway, this is Johnny Hung our fucking GOAT!!!!!:
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AKA Confucius lmao. Sorry it's an inside joke
This man is the reason I had to memorize so much classical Chinese sayings and literature that eventually culminated into Knowledge for the Suopost. It was all built towards this moment :( Let's start with an explanation of 論仁、論孝、論君子 as well as 五倫/四端!
...User Pyschicwavementality, wtf is this?
(Stares at you with the most depressed, sick, and haunted eyes) Chinese lore.
I will sadly not be sane if I explained every single one of these sayings to you guys. (Mutters) I mean I did have to memorize all of them back in the day but I'd kms elaborating on all of them so. I'm just going to take the relevant ones that could tie into Suo's character.
Let me first establish: the core of Confucianism revolves around "仁、義、禮、智、信、恕、忠、孝、悌". The arguably quote unquote """""important""""" ones (to today's discussion and in What I Learnt in general anyway) would be 仁義禮智信 and also 孝, of which I will now try? My best? To explain?? Please forgive me I learned everything in Chinese and it's really hard to do an accurate translation/analysis without going deep into culture and history 😭
CLASSICAL CHINESE 101
仁:This is read as rén. It is like... altruism, betterment, and love, I guess? Rén is how you interact with people, it is the innate connection and bond and interaction between human beings. (人與人之間互相關懷,尤其以關愛自己的親人最為重要。) It is respect and love and doing good deeds and Kind deeds out of our inner Goodness in our hearts. It is born from our inner individual and it affects our actions and what we do. We aim to always be a 'jūnzǐ' (君子)in Confucianism, someone who embodies all of Confucianism as the "self-improving and good-hearted" individual. To be empathetic and the kindest/most altruistic and loving person to one and all; to treat everyone equally from our innate Goodness—that is more or less rén. In the ideal society of Confucianism, everyone practices rén. This would mean society would always be harmonious.
義:this is read is yì. It is morality, justice, and helping others when in need. It is doing what is right and according to rén.
禮:this is lǐ. It is respect, treating people with manners, following social rules under rén, showing filial piety to your parents and elders, etc.
智:this is zhì. It is the pursuit of knowledge, creation, innovation, and improvement. It is having the intelligence to separate right/wrong and good/evil.
信:this is read as xìn. It is to have faith and belief in our beliefs and pursuits and our governing body. It is also integrity, honesty, and truthfulness. Whether it be a person, an organization, a business, or a government, they must have integrity as their core value.
(Additional) 孝:this is read as xiào and is essentially filial piety. Confucius believed that respect and love towards our parents should not be seen as an 'obligation', but rather something inner from the heart. There are four 'levels' of xiào: 孝順、孝敬、孝養、孝承 (xiàoshùn, xiàojìng, xiàoyǎng, xiàochéng). This is super complicated to go through so if you're bored and have tons of free time on your hands, feel free to run this PDF through a translator to get a better idea on what xiào is.
To get an idea on xiào, Confucius said that, if our parents became old and we only send them food and money, this is no different from raising a dog or a horse (孝養). He says, "Without respect (敬), where is there a difference?". When his disciples asked what we must do to respect (敬) our parents, he answered "We must not turn our backs on them [or more specifically, do not turn our backs on lǐ (etiquette)]. We serve them according to etiquette while alive; bury and commemorate according to etiquette after death."
But anyway, in turn, parents must also treat their children with all the above-mentioned virtues and said parents need to respect their parents with the same attitude as well. In theory, this goes both ways.
There's also Mencius' beliefs branched from Confucius' teachings (still part of Confucianism):
惻隱之心:read as 'cèyǐn zhī xīn'. This is your innate ability to feel compassion and empathy. Some people always see the "evil" around them and fail to see the goodness inside people and thus choose to be "evil" in turn. Mencius, one of Confucius' disciples, believed everyone was born kind and carried compassion. For those who are unfortunate, people will sympathize with them out of their own kindness; for those who are weak, people will have compassion for them and reach out to help them. He believed that people should never abandon their inner kindness, as kind people will always be rewarded by the kindness of others.
是非之心:read as 'shìfēi zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to differentiate right and wrong actions as well as morally incorrect/correct decisions others make and reflect on them to judge why it is wrong and what not to do.
羞惡之心:read as 'xiūwù zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel shame and guilt for making mistakes or doing things that are not following lǐyí (禮儀). It is also feeling scorn/disgust for others who do not follow lǐyí (禮儀).
辭讓之心:read as 'círàng zhī xīn'. This is the innate ability to feel thankful when others do something kind towards you, and you will feel like you need to pay it forward. It is giving others opportunities in exchange of your own and taking a step back to put others in mind first.
There's also the concept of inter-relationship hierarchy from the foundations of filial piety, which stipulates the order of respect should go from 君臣、父子、夫婦、兄弟、朋友 -> Lord/Emperor & Gov., Father-Son, Husband-Wife, Brothers, and Friends
Additional aid via. translations of my super helpful diagrams I made ages and ages ago about how to differentiate 仁義禮智:
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(2) Analogy: POV you are in Ancient China and you see an elderly man killing a random guy
(3) Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for the guy being killed. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the elderly man killing the guy is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that the elderly man is killing the guy.
(4) Because in Ancient China, the lǐ [social rules] is to respect your elders [filial piety], but because the elderly man is doing something not in accordance with lǐ and yì (禮儀) [social rules and justice], you will do what is right (the lǐ action) and stop the elderly man from getting killed.
(5) Think: your choice to act and do correctly and the correct act itself is yì; your heart's inner compassion is rén; your ability to tell if the situation is in accordance with lǐyí (禮儀) or not is zhì; and the environmental/social rules = lǐ, e.g. respecting your elders. When you do actions that are not fulfilling yì, you feel guilty because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù). Rén is inner moral/virtue requirements [to be a 君子 jūnzǐ),whereas yì is your outward action.
(6) Oh, and don't forget: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.
(7) Adding on to the last sentence in (5), 'rén' is not a requirement; it is inner 'love' exuded from the heart. If you are forced or required to do so, that is not 'rén', that is 'duty'.
So how does this all tie into Suo Hayato?
(Shakes my fist full of documents) so this is where I start CRAZYMAXXING.
If you also lovehate this man you might have already made some connections between Suo and the above few values I've described. Otherwise let me elaborate: when dear old Niisato made Suo to be the most stereotypically Chinese lad ever, he also managed to include a shitton upstanding moral traits that a jūnzǐ (君子) would have, essentially making Suo an amazing representation of core Confucian beliefs (so far as of writing this post in my theory state of mind).
When Suo talks about 'growing up' or taking the steps to adulthood, he mentions one of the most important core values being able to make your imagination reality as well as empathy.
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You could actually simplify rén into putting yourself in another person's shoes to see/think/feel from their perspective, and one famous saying from Confucius is to wish no harm to come upon others that you do not wish to come upon you, which ties in with Kanuma mocking the fallen Shishitoren member and only starting to feel panicked once he realizes the same harm was going to happen to him. ("己所不欲,勿施於人。")
Suo also insinuates the ability to chase your goals and turn them from dreams into reality is another part of 'attaining adulthood'. You can boil this down to being able to fulfill what you say/living up to your claims/fulfilling your beliefs. Honesty and integrity also play a major role in Confucian beliefs. There are a few sayings under xìn '信‘ that Confucius said about this:
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5.1 A jūnzǐ (君子) must be mindful of what they say and do things swiftly/efficiently/quickly. 5.2 A jūnzǐ (君子) does not endorse a person just because he speaks favorably, nor does he reduce a man's worth just because he has a bad impression of him. 5.3 A jūnzǐ (君子) will feel shameful if he cannot go through with what he said he will do. 5.4 [Text Before Image] If one's name/renown is not righteous, his speech will not be reasonable; if one's speech is not reasonable, he will not be able to accomplish anything. If things are not accomplished, the law will not be able to reach into one's heart; if the law cannot reach people, the punishment will not be fair; if the punishment is unfair, the common people will be at a loss. [Text In Image] Therefore, leaders must be steadfast and reasonable in both what they do and what they say. When leaders speak, they must not be careless (read: 'whatever' energy) or rash.
^^ When you translate this, doesn't this essentially reflect Umemiya as a leader? Which also falls in line with Suo seeing Ume as his ideal 'picture' for adulthood and further aligning w/Suo's statement of 'making your imagination reality'?
It doesn't end here though...!!!
KEEL ARC! When Suo got PISSED as hell seeing his friends around him hurt, Sakura had to step in to stop Suo from losing composure in Chapter 50 | Extreme Emotions. Remember when I talked about explaining how this could be understood SO WELL from a Confucian lens in Part 4?
What Sakura said: 'I'm pissed as all hell at myself. I was talking big [I can 'em all on my own], and look what's happened. But getting pissed off isn't gonna help. We need to focus on what we have to do.'
(Pokes my finger at statement 5.3 and 5.4)
This ABSOLUTELY makes Suo's reaction called for ("I really am no match for you") because right now Sakura is embodying the core values of Confucianism better than Suo was moments prior. In that moment, Sakura was the one closer to being a jūnzǐ (君子). At that moment, Suo was the one who should've been learning and modeling after him.
Remember 羞惡之心 (xiūwù)? It is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì). If you do non-lǐyì things yourself, you will feel ashamed.
Suo was disgusted/hateful at the KEEL member for hurting his friends. He may have reflected and felt shame when Sakura came up to stop him.
It's still not over though!
Suo has consistently shown contempt for those who are older than him yet do not practice the same values of 仁義禮智信! Another one of the major Suo moments:
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"Goodness... How self-centered. Even to the very end. To teach others, you need to engage with their feelings and support them to stand on their own two feet for the first time." — Suo Hayato on the most Confucian thing he could say at the moment
How self-centered:
顏淵問仁。子曰:「克己復禮為仁。一日克己復禮,天下歸仁焉。為仁由己,而由人乎哉?」 [1] 顏淵曰:「請問其目。」子曰:「非禮勿視,非禮勿聽,非禮勿言,非禮勿動。」 [2] 顏淵曰:「回雖不敏,請事斯語矣。」(《顏淵》第十二)
(HIGHLIGHTED = TRANSLATED BELOW; EDITED MTL)
[1] "Rén is to restrain one's selfish desires and to conduct oneself in an honorable manner. Once you have done this, all the people of the world will submit to your benevolence and virtue. The fulfillment of rén depends entirely on oneself. How could it depend on others?"
[2] "How do you practice rén?" "Do not look; listen; speak; or do things not in accordance with lǐ."
Already, gymnast-guy has violated the above.
To teach others [...]:
"與人交,推其長者,讳其短者,故能久也。"
"When interacting with people, you should pay attention to discovering and promoting others' strengths, rather than always pointing out other people's shortcomings." [MTL]
Confucius was known to be a very open and benevolent teacher. He did not require students to pay fees; he simply wanted your desire to learn. Suo's really open with teaching Nirei and he matches the teaching style of Johnny Hung really well <3 He's very positive and uplifting when it comes to Nirei. Personally, I also like to believe Suo also sees a younger or past version of himself in Nirei which adds more layers to his intrigue...
Scroll back up to the part where I had three Instagram stories explaining how 仁義禮智 linked with Mencius' additions if you forgot about it. You can re-read what I said regarding the example of seeing an old man killing someone.
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Then the gymnast guy talks about 'discipline', and Suo has a vision of his master, which he adds with: "'Discipline', 'training and passing down your teachings'... Okay! I've got a question, sensei! How are you supposed to act when you go barging into another person's home?"
(He's pissed.)
Rewording [2] from my Instagram Story Explanation: Because you have 惻隱之心 (cèyǐn), you feel pitiful for Furin getting invaded and fighters/friends getting hurt. Because you have 是非之心 (shìfēi), you can judge and realize why the Noroshi invading Furin is wrong. Because you have 羞惡之心 (xiūwù), you feel angry that Noroshi is invading Furin.
And once again, just like from KEEL: 羞惡之心 (xiūwù) is feeling disgusted/hateful when you see others do something not in accordance with 禮儀 (lǐyì).
For someone older to be breaking 禮儀 (lǐyì) and speaking on how Suo's 'similar to him' and how he's having 'fun', this was The singularly most awful thing gymnast-guy could've done at the moment as someone Suo is meant to respect according to the age/skill hierarchy in Chinese culture. Not to mention the gymnast guy establishes himself indirectly as a 'teacher' in this scenario by using the phrase 'discipline'. It's even crazier when you realize that Confucianism explicitly believes that anyone can be a teacher to you because you do not know everything. There's literally a story about Confucius speaking with a 7-year-old who spoke so much facts that Confucius himself recognized the kid as a teacher. Suo taunting the guy asking what he could learn from the gymnast is NUTS.
Some other quotes that I think really match Suo's character:
子曰:「君子病無能焉,不病人之不己知也。」(《衞靈公》第十五)
“A jūnzǐ (君子) worries that he himself is incapable, and not that others do not understand him.”
子曰:「君子不重則不威;學則不固。主忠信。無友不如己者。過則勿憚改 。」(《學而》第一)
"If a jūnzǐ (君子) is not steadfast/solemn/decisive, he will not be dignified; and what he learns will not be stable. Maintain loyalty and integrity as your main principles. Do not make friends with people who have lower moral standing than you/who are not as good as you are, and do not be afraid to correct your mistakes."
Final Theory Pitch: "Death By Betrayal"
"Death By Betrayal" in Suo Hayato's name based on the symbolism of the Chinese redbud might make one immediately think of his master and his family. Perhaps Suo's teacher passed and Suo's embodying his master's teachings, or his family has backstabbed/been backstabbed. If we go down the route of Suo still being an active triad member, then this may talk about his triad being betrayed and Suo having to briefly live/train with his master under a new identity. If Suo's former martial siblings (whom he respects, by the way, literally so xiào) want to reform the group, Suo might force them to align with his current set of values (which are extremely similar to Furin too—to protect the common people) and avoid harming innocents.
From another point of view this can also symbolize the "death" of Suo Hayato's former character, where instead he was the one who turned his backs on his clan/family first. Either to learn from his master who may or may not be dead, or to escape his supposed triad ties.
There is another piece of classical literature that I can yap about: 《魚我所欲也》. Here's a quickest translation of it possible:
“魚,我所欲也,熊掌,亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼, 舍魚而取熊掌者也。生亦我所欲也,義亦我所欲也;二者不可得兼, 舍生而取義者也。
"Fish, I desire it; bear paw [rare and believed to have medicinal properties], I also desire it. If I cannot obtain both at once, then I will sacrifice the fish for the bear paw. Life, I desire it; yì [to do morally correct/upstanding/good things], I also desire it; if I cannot obtain two at once, then I will sacrifice my life for yì.
生亦我所欲,所欲有甚於生者,故不為苟得也; 死亦我所惡,所惡有甚於死者, 故患有所不辟也。 如使人之所欲莫甚於生,則凡可以得生者,何不用也 ? 使人之所惡莫甚於死者,則凡可以辟患者,何不為也 ?由是則生而有不用也,由是則可以辟患而有不為 也,是故所欲有甚於生者,所惡有甚於死者。非獨賢者有是心也,人皆有之,賢者能勿喪耳。
Life is something that I want, but there is something I want more than life [yì]! so I will not be greedy for immediate survival. Death is something I hate, but there is something I hate more than death [not fulfilling yì], so I will not avoid the evil that comes my way. If there is nothing that men love more than life, why do they not use whatever means they have to live? If there is nothing that men hate more than death, why do they not use any means of avoiding evil? By these means may we live, but some do not use them; and by these means may we avoid evil, but some are unwilling to do so.
Thus (it can be proved) that there are things that people want more than life, and there are things that people hate more than death. It is not only the 賢者 (virtuous man) that has this nature—all men have this innate nature, but the virtuous man can preserve and maintain it.
一簞食,一豆羹,得之則生,弗得則死 。
A serving of food, a bowl of soup; if you obtain it, you will live. If you do not obtain it, you will die.
嘑爾而與之,行道之人 弗受;蹴爾而與之,乞人不屑也;萬鍾則不辯禮義而受之。
Giving this to someone while mocking and hollering at them, normal people (people on the road) will not accept it because they feel disrespected; stepping on it before giving it to someone, a beggar would not accept it because it is unclean. The temptation (t/n: 萬鐘 is similar to 'bad temptations' or 'great benefits') for benefits: one will not differentiate whether or not it is aligned according to yì [etiquette/moral ethics] before obtaining it.
萬鍾於我何加焉?為宮室之美、妻妾之奉、所識窮乏者得我與?鄉為身死而不 受,今為宮室之美為之;鄉為身死而不受,今為妻妾之奉為之;鄉為 身死而不受,今為所識窮乏者得我而為之,是亦不可以已乎?此之謂 失其本心。"
What do these benefits have that can help me? For a beautiful house, many wives, and for the recognition and thanks from poor people? In the past, one would sacrifice their life before accepting these benefits; but now, for a beautiful house, many wives, and the recognition and thanks from poor people, they will accept temptation. Can we not stop this? This is the act of losing one’s trait [of sacrificing your life for the greater good]."
A summary of this thinking would be to "捨生取義", lit. 'sacrifice your life to obtain yì/the greater good'.
It is completely possible that Suo, when raised or sworn into the triad, was taught by his master (either in secret or after he briefly leaves) about the importance of 'upholding the ultimate good', which may have caused him to realize his triad—which may or may not prey on the weak—does not align with his moral worldviews any more.
To escape, Suo could've decided to fake his death or leave behind his old self and turn his back as betrayal, which ties into his 'noble' symbolism and 'flying falcon' name in Hayato.
But tbh, I'm inclined to believe Suo's master was on okay terms with the triad because he/she had long hair. Suo's hair, as I've stated elsewhere, could be short due to hair being used as a major symbolism device in WBK as a way to say he's tried to leave his past.
Yet some things may be unable to be broken away from so easily, and Suo, a trained falcon, might be unable to leave behind everything. He was likely loyal since a young age and unconsciously finds himself lingering on old sentiments. Maybe his earrings are gifts from his master. Maybe his eyepatch is from his triad/family.
Still, Suo being from a criminal family and having distaste for Noroshi/KEEL is really interesting because we can see that he doesn't enjoy it when people lack empathy or cause pain to others. You’d expect him to react more to Choji’s gang because of their “violence for violence’s sake” going against his whole empathy tangent, but Suo seems to hate it more when someone finds interest in violence for meaning’s sake or violence for profit’s sake. I think Suo understands Shishitoren is built off violence to become stronger (<- literally the WBK OST), and everyone in SSTR seems to mutually be okay with this in-fighting. There's also a big difference between Suo clashing with SSTR and the other: he hasn't forged as deep of a bond with Furin compared to vs. KEEL and vs. Noroshi, and the latter two have made active attempts at hurting Furin through morally corrupt means (beating Nagato up and taking over Furin for personal gain).
Suo could've developed this sort of morality to distance himself from his family, who may have gotten infamous/profited off similar methods. (<- and this is really funny because Confucius has ALSO said that a jūnzǐ (君子) should not accept wealth or escape poverty if it wasn't achieved through morally correct means. A jūnzǐ (君子) cannot turn his back on rén in the span of a meal, and this remains true even during hasty and urgent times + when one is poor/wandering/living in tough conditions.)
A possible timeline:
-Suo is born to a rich family, possibly wealthy through a criminal empire.
-Suo dislikes his family because of his morals (may not have happened), and his family may dislike him back because he is considered “weak” (could explain why he’s the one who offers to help Nirei or why empathy as an adult is so important to him). Or, he's a super loyal lapdog and hella admires his brothers. Maybe they're the only good guys in the triad. Maybe they're really bad and Suo's also really bad. Suo might have two wolves inside him... the Confucian morals vs. Organized crime persona
-Suo studies Chinese fighting techniques and philosophy with someone (possibly a figure outside his family)
-Suo's family and/or mentor is betrayed/Suo betrays them
-Suo has to escape and create a new identity fully based off of his Confucian learnings.
...
And with that, I've said almost everything I need to say on the topic of Suo Hayato.
It totally didn't take 10,000 words or anything.
What's up next in Part 2?
I'll be writing Endo's version of this post and include some Suo-Endo joint theories and/or notes. Things to look forward to include Endo, Christianity, and alchemy... And maybe I'll even start yapping about the 0.2472983% potential Daoist/Taoist influence Sakura has.
I'll be back in 1 business century!
(Bonus) out of context convos and quotes my friend and I have said during the process of writing this that may foreshadow Part 2 or something:
Me: Picture Endo being Chinese too but it's Mainlander vs HK [Suo] beef
Me: WHO'S THE TAIWANESE 😭😭😭 IS IT UME??? HE HAS PLUM BLOSSOMS
Nakama: Okay so (crackposting) it's choji because of TW's association with the sun
Me: What if it's Chiitan [Chika Takiishi] and we get the Mainland x TWnese "forbidden" romance...
Me: But anyway I find it devastating choji would say cao ni ma wo che ne and its not even ooc
Me: ...Shit now I can imagine endo with a strong beijinger accent
Nakama: ...yamato儿(er) endo儿(er)
Nakama: ....chiika儿(er) takiishi儿(er)
Nakama: ...sakuraur harukaur
Me: endo going BEJINGRR WELCOMES YOU
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"You not only ate, you devourered that like you were unaccountably peckish." —Nakama-kun 2024
Nakama: Waiting very politely for ur suopost to show up
Me: It might tonight, I'm typing like a keyboard warrior rn
Me: When u wake up it might be posted 😎
—A lie quoted from the 17th Aug 2024 at 3:57 PM GMT+8, a whopping one month and seven days ago.
"Y'know maybe suo's from oklahoma" —Me, delirious, 2024
The Suo Post's TLDR:
"WE NEED TO KILL HIM FOR BEING TOO CHINESE"
—User psychicwavementality after 1 month of crying in voice messages about Suo Hayato.
(Total word count: 11,781 words. Part One, scene!)
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sass-ruby · 2 days
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Gosh- THIS EPISODE
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For me, it felt like there needed to be something more.. I dunno, it just felt empty? And by empty, I mean what nexus said. Like his insults and actions.. it's kinda weird to me. You're telling me this is the SAME person who hijacked moon's head and tortured him, making him relieve his worst memories? He sounds so pathetic, and cringe at the moment, ESPECIALLY with his "I AM GOD!" complex.
Though, the "I'm sorry" from sun was HEARTBREAKING. In my opinion, it isn't sun's fault. He went through so much, and had no time to grieve because the new moon already showed up. Just imagine being in sun's place, a close family member you've known more than 10+ years dies and you get no time to grieve? It'd be fricking difficult. Also, I believe nexus is still a moon. He may claim that he's different but, he's almost the same stubborn, hateful moon. (Not talking about sun's moon, most moons in general). That's why sun said, "you're not worse than moon- hell you're not even better!"
Another thing I noticed, he seemed way more vulnerable with sun. Yelled at him for dealing with him wrongly (him being a replacement) and such. He is definitely hurt. To me, he seemed like a hurt, angry teenager yelling at his parents for doing him wrong and making him hateful, vengeful, a monster. It genuinely felt like a cry for help of some sorts
It's interesting to me that moon was scared of Nexus, and of death. Before his death, he didn't care. But now, he's scared which his reason was that he didn't want to put his family through the same thing. I think it's because of the qna episode.. Sun confirmed that when moon died, he just cried. It probably made him feel guilt of some sorts.
Oh, a thing to mention, I LOVE HOW RUIN TRIED TO KEEP SUN SAFE. In my eyes, ruin being scared is all an act. He has been through SO much worse, as well as destroying 5000+ dimensions so why would this scare him? I think he's trying to help sun and moon, because if he acts scared, no one would suspect him, right? He did leave a hint, which helped sun and moon find sun's² dimension. And he even told them "I'm not scared for me, I'm scared for you."
Ruin is a clever character, who has many tricks up his sleeve. He's great at tricking people, he is the world's greatest actor after all! (Get the reference?)
He surely has some sort of plan, or at least an outline of it.
EEEEEE I LOVE HIM SM, I CAN'T WAIT FOR WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE
5 more days until october
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lovintohatred · 2 days
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— close to you
warnings: none pairing: billie eilish x fem!reader a/n: this is my first fic and is super self indulgent so sorry if it's shit 😚 only using sabrina as a fc bc it's easiest for social media but her appearance won't be referenced so imagine y/n however u'd like ☺️ also the user stillcantfindtheavacados is billie's finsta!! lmk if u guys want a pt 2 💞
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yourusername
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liked by gracieabrams, finneas, taylorswift and others
yourusername what a way to finish out this tour... london u were a dream 💞 thank u for all the memories we've made together on this tour, i love u all sosososo much!!! emails i can't send tour forever 💌💋
view all 7,935 comments
user1 INSANEEEE
user2 ur tour fits are always stunning omg
taylorswift pop princess ☺️🫶🏻
yourusername SHUT UP WHAT TAYLOR I LOVE U SM THANK U 😭😭😭😭😭💓💓💓💓💓
stillcantfindtheavacados prettiest girl ever what the fuck
gracieabrams it was the best getting to see u in london ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
yourusername i love u sm ☹️☹️ so glad u could make it 💘
finneas is this who you're always talking about?? @/billieeilish
this comment has been deleted
finneas such an incredible tour!!
user3 HELP AM I HALLUCINATING OR DID FINNEAS ACTUALLY JUST COMMENT AND TAG BILLIE???? 😭😭
user4 NO I SAW IT TOO ‼️‼️ AND NOT HIM TRYNA ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED BY COMMENTING AGAIN NORMALLY 😭😭😭 user5 PLS TELL ME SOMEONE TOOK A SS user6 CHECK THE BILLIE UPDATE ACCOUNTS IT'S THERE
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finny ‼️ - finneas
bils 🤓 - billie
bils 🤓 FINNEAS O'CONNEL WHAT RHE ACRUAL FUCK
I'M GOIGN TO KILL U
UR SUCH AN IDOIT OH MY GODDDD
WHY DID U COMMENT UNDER HER POST?????? AND TAG ME??????
this is so embarrassing i hate u
finny ‼️ BILS I'M SORRY I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
I FORGOT I WAS ON MY MAIN AND NOT MY SPAM
it's fine though i deleted the comment!!
bils 🤓 YEAH BUT PPL TOOK A SS AND NOW IT'S EVERYWHERE U DUMBASS
finny ‼️ oh
bils 🤓 she probably thinks i'm such a weirdo ughhh
this is all ur fault
finny ‼️ I SAID I WAS SORRY
bils 🤓 WELL UR NOT FORGIVEN
finny ‼️ 😐
at least now u have an opportunity to dm her 😁
bils 🤓 shut up
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liv 😚 - olivia rodrigo
y/n 😋 - y/n
y/n 😋 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDD
LIV I'M ACTUAKLY HAVIGN A HEART ATTACK WHERE ARE U
FINNEAS COMMENTED ON MY INSTA POSR
BILLIE EILISH TALKS ABOUT ME
ALWAYS
I'M GONNA PASS OUT
LIV WHERE ARE YOU I'M GOINF INSANE
liv 😚 I'M HERE I'M HERE
I KNOWWW MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I SAW THE COMMENT
help him deleting the first comment and commenting again is so funny 😭
y/n 😋 FR
LIKE THEY'VE BOTG LIKED MY POSTS BEFIRE BUT RHIS IS SOOOO DIFFERENT
LIKE BILLIE TSLKS ABOUT ME
A LOT APPARENTLY
LIKE???????????????
liv 😚 u guys are so alike ur both obsessed with each other!
match made in heaven fr 😍
y/n 😋 ...olivia rodrigo pls be serious for a second bc rhis is CRAZY
like BILLIE EILISH knows who i am
oh fuck wait
what if she knows i'm obsessed with her???????
do u think she knows??? is it obvious???
it is isn't it 😭😭😭😭 she def knows doesn't she
SHITSHITSHIT SHE KNOWSSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
i'm gonna die omg
liv 😚 Y/N STOP
BREATHE
it's not obvious don't worry she doesn't know so u can relax and stop stressing
y/n 😋 okay ur right sorry i panicked and went a bit insane for a sec
liv 😚 a bit?
y/n 😋 ...okay a lot 😣
liv 😚 yeah ❤️
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thewisaaaaad · 3 days
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AWWW FUCK
In my sleep deprived state, I have created YET ANOTHER AU by smashing together several ideas in my head, along with being inspired by @kamodofilez bells of the dammed au. Sorry for pinging you, but CREDIT IS DUE.
When am I going to run out of these oh lamb
Anyways here's the au. I call it the Regretful Hunter AU, no idea if i am going to continue with this.
In this AU, neither the lamb nor Narinder really wanted to fight.
As soon as Narinder heard the new prophecy through Ratau, he knew exactly what would happen.
Five becomes nothing? He wasn't stupid. He was going to fall too, just like all his siblings.
Good. It was what he deserved. It was what he wanted.
Narinder did the fight because he was actually tired of being the god of death, saw that the lamb was way better at being god than any of his siblings were, and wanted to pass the mantle. Of course, due to pride and family trauma, they couldn't just hand it over, so he tried to goad the lamb into killing him. He... doesn't really consider how Aym and Baal would feel about it. He forgot they were people, honestly, until it was too late to care.
The lamb, meanwhile, was totally chill with dying. They felt that they were OK at playing leader, but was ready to hand over the reins to the god that gave them the opportunity to take revenge for their people.
They were fully ready to let go, and see their family again in the afterlife. After all that had happened, they were just. So. Tired.
However, fate has ways of getting what it wants- including puppeting its victims. The lamb was conscious the whole time as they were forced to fight the person that gave them everything they had ever wanted and slay his guardians. They were just glad that they didn't have to kill him.
Narinder was less than pleased with the mercy. When the guilt of what he had done set in, he ran away from the cult before the lamb could explain what happened.
He planned on going out, finding a nice cliff with some sharp rocks at the bottom, and ending it once and for all.
Turns out, ending your life by your own hands is a lot harder than he thought. It can be pretty scary, standing at the edge.
He blames his mortality, of course.
Lamb, meanwhile, goes into a depression induced stupor, the young god just going through the motions of running a cult. ???'s arrival makes it a little easier, by giving them a goal to work towards, but they never stop hoping to find Narinder again. They know hes not dead yet.
They would feel it.
Narinder continues to survive in the forest, hunting critters using plumbata, or throwing arrows, made from stolen arrows. He goes around, surviving while cursing his cowardice, until one day he wanders through Silkcradle, looking for spiders to hunt.
Instead, he finds a panda and a skunk in mortal danger. Before, he would have let them die, for obviously if they had wanted to live then they would not have come here, doubly so for the panda who could have just never come to the lands of the old faith at all.
But now? Now he understands the fear of the end. How it can creep up on you without knowledge of its presence, how a foolish decision can seem like the best one to make in the moment.
So he saves them. They, of course, ask for his name.
He does not give it. Instead, he gives them the location of paradise, where they will be safe. When asked why he does not go there himself, he answers that "I had lost my right to that place long ago."
When Jalala and Rinor arrive at the lambs cult, they tell the lamb of the kind stranger who saved them, the cat with three red eyes.
The lamb gets excited. He's still out there. And he wishes he could be here.
They just have to talk to him.
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peachdues · 18 hours
Note
Hi. I don’t know if you remember but I sent one of these things ages ago talking about how your fics helped me get through chemotherapy sessions. I wanted to thank you again because you’re writing was such a lovely and much needed distraction. I finally got to ring the bell! Your work made treatment more bearable.
OH!?? MY GOD??? BABE CONGRATULATIONS THAT’S SO WONDERFUL!!!
I’m so so sorry — I think your ask got buried!! When I get home tonight, I WILL find it and answer!!
This is so incredible and exciting and wonderful!!! I am so happy for you!!!
IF you’re comfortable (and ONLY if), please feel free to come off anon. I would love to send you a small gift in celebration 🤍
I hope every day forward is as wonderful as you deserve. You made it through, and I’m so proud of you 🤍🤍🤍
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in my mind brudick marriage happens almost byaccident: after bruce “dies” dick is left alone and without access to damian or the manor or funds as he was never adopted and is only a former ward, so in dicks grieving mind the clearest way forward is to forge a secret but technically legal marriage, bruce doesn’t find out for years after he comes back, damian knew why he was in custody with richard and assumed it was common knowledge that no one ever brought up, alfred just lets this all play out even knowing that bruce did have a clause in his will to protect dick incase of death (plans upon plans), bruce was upset in all the ways bruce would deny his feelings
this is SUCH a good thought oh my god-
first of all, i am kissing you on the mouth for adding morally fucked up Alfred who just *lets* this play out. he could easily intervene and he *should*, but the idea that he doesn't because for some reason he thinks this is for the best is *such* good food. i love the thought that Alfred knows about unresolved BruDick feelings and feels in Bruce's death, Bruce at least deserves the one thing he never allowed himself to have in life: Dick's hand in marriage. and Dick is so deep in denial and just trying to legally keep hold of Damian and Wayne Enterprises. it's such a stupid last ditch effort and he doesn't even expect it to *work* but it does. Dick is able to keep it under wraps with only a few lawyers and WE higher ups knowing, the public assumes Bruce naturally left everything to Dick bc why wouldn't he? Dick is his eldest ward, after all. Damian knows bc he sees all the papers concerning Dick having his legal guardianship and he just shrugs it off because really, his father's relationship with Dick is none of his business.
and of course, when Bruce comes up there are so many *other* things to handle that Dick just doesn't think to mention it. he's not willingly withholding the information and Bruce assumes Dick *knew* about the contingencies Bruce set up for his death so he doesn't question Dick having all this control. it's not until years later when one of his WE lawyers passingly mentions "oh you might need your husband to sign off on this too" and Bruce is like. i'm sorry my *what*. because he knows the Batfam got up to some chaotic things trying to keep his death a secret, but no one mentioned a *husband*. so Bruce checks the paperwork and is going through every single stage of grief because *did no one think to tell him he's legally married to Dick.* Bruce demands answers and Dick has to awkwardly explain the whole thing to a baffled Bruce who just asks why Dick didn't *check Bruce's files* for this. (maybe Dick didn't think to, maybe Alfred deleted them, who's to say) Bruce wants to be mad at Dick, mostly for not telling Bruce. but all his unspoken feelings make it *very* difficult to figure out what to do. especially when Dick offers to quietly get a divorce since enow the marriage isn't needed and Bruce's *gut* reaction is to blurt out no, no no let's not do that. and he can't explain why he's so against it without admitting how badly he wants to be married to Dick even amidst the worst of his feelings.
it takes them months to actually *talk* about it, and tbh it's probably Damian's assumptions about their relationship that make them face it. bc to Damian the mutual feelings are obvious and the marriage is known so yes of course, Bruce and Dick are in love and together what's so difficult to understand about this, it's no one's business but their own. (i especially love the idea of Damian chastises other characters like Tim for trying to ask questions because doesn't Tim know romance for Bruce is a very private affair and it's *wildly* disrespectful of Tim to think he has the right to know these things.) and so when Damian makes a passing comment about their relationship and Bruce and Dick share a mortified look, they realize they have to talk about it. and instead of ending on clearing the air, they accidentally confess feelings for one another. it's stilted and painful, but they manage to agree maybe they can keep the marriage going. and maybe they don't have to correct Damian.
(also, this is a side thought but: i think a lot about how Tommy Elliot was made to pretend to be Bruce while Bruce was dead and all that fun, and i think it's fun if Tommy knows about the marriage bc he helped Dick sign off on it. and Tommy tries to force Dick into a relationship with him to "maintain the facade" and Dick rejects the advances, maybe Tommy even forces himself on Dick once or twice. it doesn't go too far and they get Tommy back under control, but it's clear Tommy's annoyed when Bruce comes back and he doesn't get to "have his fun" anymore. also fun if Bruce finds out about this and is *furious* bc not only did he not know he's married to Dick, but it was *Tommy* who got to have Dick as a husband before Bruce did and now he's jealous and pissed about the whole thing. just a fun little aside thought bc i wish the fandom had more fun with Tommy's era of pretending to be Bruce.)
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raihann1 · 1 day
Note
STOP
When I tell u the corpse bride and CP fic was so unexpected but so needed. Basically
I LOVED IT OML😭 IT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY CREATIVE CONCEPT AND A FUN READD AHH
Anyway, if you could make a part two I would be forever grateful. But don't push urself, I don't mind waiting<3 AND UR ART IS ADORABLE--
Okay, I'll leave you be now. Have a great day/night 🤧
🦋The other man⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖Eyeless Jack x Reader 2.
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NOTES: AW THANKS!! Im going to continue this series untill its basically the whole thing, who should Victoria be? 😭
OLD!Notes: Gosh I love Corpse bride.. how about eyeless jack as a corpse husband though? 😼
Unaccurate E/J
This was made to fit F!readers sorry :( 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚✶🦋☆🦋★🦋☆🦋★🦋✶ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚
You ran, ran for your damn life. What even was that thing?! No way in hell would you get catched by that! You ended up bumping headfirst into a large tree, whimpering in pain you saw the figure slowly making its way towards you. Your vision was blurry but you knew it was him. It had to be. You tried running agian only for you to embarassingly hit your head once agian on the same tree. You shook your head and dashed out of there. Slipping on ice and dashing through the forest as the figure seemed to try and reach out for you. The sharp branches you dashed through seemed to grab you and hold you in place as you gasped as one clung onto the collar of your shirt.
"Oh god!" You whispered as you trudged through them making it towards the bridge.
Crows seemed to appear out of nowhere and soon everything seemed peaceful once agian. Your breathing was heavy as you conciously looked around. Sighing in relief once you saw no trace of the man. You walked slowly backing away when suddenly.
BAM
Staring right back at you was the man, or demon or whatever this monster was! You gasped in shock. Backing away eyes widened as he slowly stepped closer to you reaching out for you.
"You may kiss the bride." The mans raspy demonic voice said as you could just sense he had a shit eating grin behind the mask. ---------------------------- Two Your vision was blurry as you noticed two figures. One was the man, and another.. a skeleton.
A skeleton?!
"A new arrival?" The skeleton said intrigured.
"She must have fainted, are you alright?" He said tilting his head and reaching to place one hand behind your head.
"W-what happened.." you said seeming dazed.
"Looks like we got a breather!" The skeleton said its face inching closer to yours.
You gasped in shock.
"Does he have a dead brother?" A lady said shoving the skeleton out of the way.
"She's still soft!" A child like skeleton said joyfully.
You backed away, slowly moving upwards and taking in your surroundings.
"A toast!" A short skeleton with a cutlass shoved into its body said raising his glass. Another skeleton removed the weapon as the weird drink dispensed into his cup.
"To the newly weds!" He continued as the cutlass was once agajn plunged into him.
"Newly weds?!" You said astonished.
"In the woods! You said all those vows.. so.. perfectly!" He said gently grabbing your hand where a gold rusted ring was.
"I-i did?!" You said staring at your ring finger.
"I did!" You said realizing, you fell hitting your head over and over agian.
"Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!!"
"Coming through! Coming through! My name is Paul," a talking head said.
You gasped agian.
"I will be creating your wedding Feast!"
Suddenly a boy with blonde hair, black eyes and blood seeping from them appeared. He seemed to be some kind of glitch, a virus? His voice sounded of a child.
"Wedding feast?! Fuck yes!!" He sajd giggling as his whole body seemed to glitch.
"Your "husband" smiled and nervously laughed."
"Viruses.. hah.." he said.
"Oh!" You said almost falling AGIAN..
"Keep away! You grabbed the cutlass from the tiny skeletons body, struggling to retrieve it."
"I- i've got a.. dwarf and am not afraid to use it!" You said shaking.
The room gasped.
"I want some questions...NOW."
"Answers." The skeleton corrected you.
"I think you mean answers.."
"T-thank you yes..answers, I need answers."
Your "husband" seemed shocked.
"W-whats going on here! Where am I!" You said fumbling.
A pool ball fell from a pool table awkwardly.
"Who are you?!"
"Well.. thats kind of a long story."
"What a story it is, a tragic tale of romance, passion and a murder most foul." A skeleton in a top hat said.
"This is gonna be good!" The small skeleton said as you looked confused.
---------------------------------------
Notes: you should listen to Remains of the day so it makes it more realistic :). Here are the changed lyrics!
Hey!Give me a listen, you corpses of cheerLeast less of you who still got an earI'll tell you a story, make your skeleton cryOf our own judiciously lovely corpse spouseDie, die we all pass awayBut don't wear a frown 'cuz it's really okayYou might try and hide, and you might try and prayBut we all end up the remains of the dayDie die die, yeah yeah, die die dieWell! A man is a gem known for miles aroundA mysterious stranger came into town she was angel like good lookin' but down on her cashAnd our poor little baby he fell hard and fastWhen his mother said no, he just couldn't copeSo our lovers came up with a plan to elopeDie, die we all pass awayBut don't wear a frown 'cuz it's really okayYou might try and hide, and you might try and prayBut we all end up the remains of the dayDie die die yeah yeahDie die die yeah yeahDie die die yeah yeahDie die die yeah yeahYeah, so they conjured up a plan to meet late at nightThey told not a soul kept the whole thing tightNow her fathers suit it fit like a gloveYou don't need much when you're really in loveExcept for a few things or so I'm toldLike the family jewels and a satchel of goldThen next to the graveyard by the old oak treeOn a dark foggy night at a quarter to threeHe was ready to go, but where was She?She waited(And then) There in the shadows, was it a Girl?(And then) His little heart beat so loud!(And then) And then baby, everything went blackNow when he opened her eyes, he was dead as dustHis jewels were missin' and his heart was bustSo he made a vow lyin' under that treeThat he'd wait for his true love to come set him freeAlways waitin' for someone to ask for his handThen outta the blue comes this lovely young girlWho vows forever, to be by his sideAnd that's the story of our own, corpse husbandDie, die we all pass awayBut don't wear a frown 'cuz it's really okayYou might try and hide, and you might try and prayBut we all end up the remains of the dayYeah
𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚✶🩸☆🩸★🩸☆🩸★🩸✶ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚
Part 3 anyone?
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camryn-haitani · 3 days
Note
Hey I was wondering if you'd do a virgin reader with Sam or Colby
YESSSS
First time, honey?
colby brock x reader
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TW: SMUT, virgin reader, p in v sex, dom colby, cursing, random names for your friends, fingering, pet names (sugar, darling, princess, doll), praising, gentle dom colby, reader has no idea who colby is (but he’s not an asshole about it), flirty colby, alcohol intake and mentions, often consent checks, lube use, condom using (wrap it before you tap it), after care king 👑
lowercase intended
i hope you don’t mind i did colby🫶🏻
“girl, just come with us. you’ll have fun, we’ll make sure of it.” jessie said. “you know how i feel about parties and stuff like this.” i said unsure. me and parties don’t really mix well together, like water and oil.
“pleeeeeeeeeeaase.” adrianna pleaded with those sad puppy dog eyes. “ughh fine fine. lemme get dressed.” i said while getting up. “oh hell no,” jessie pushed me back down on my bed, “we are picking out your dress.” she wagged her finger at me. “you haven’t been to a party like this in years and you think we’re gonna let you pick out your dress? that’s funny.”
after they dolled me up and did my makeup, we were ready to go. adrianna ordered an uber and we went off to the address that the party was at.
we all arrive and step out of the car. adrianna tipped the driver 20 bucks and drove off. i almost tripped over my heels but luckily jessie caught me. we walk in and immediately jessie goes to get us drinks to loosen up.
we dance, we drink, we have a good time. until this guy bumps into me, spilling my drink on my dress.
“shit, i’m so sorry,” he turns around, “here lemme help you and then i’ll buy you another drink.” he takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom. i honestly don’t care if it’s the men’s bathroom, i’m sticky, i’m cold, and i’m wet. “i’m so sorry.” he starts to wipe my legs from the alcohol. “it’s fine, really. parties are not my thing, i knew i never should’ve went with them.”
he stands up to face me and his blue eyes pierce right into mine. my heartbeat quickens as my palms get sweaty. his tattoo ridden hand gives me a paper towel. “i figured you’d wanna get your chest and stomach yourself.” he lightly laughed. “thank you, i appreciate your help. by the way,” i start to wipe the front of my chest, “what’s your name?”
he looks at you, dumbfounded. “a-are you for real?” i look back up at him, “yeah?” i continue to wipe the front of my dress as he just stares at me with confusion. i finally had enough of it and asked, “dude, what’s your problem? are you a famous youtuber or something?” “yes! yes i am!” he nods his head.”
“you still didn’t answer my question.” i throw away the towel. “colby. colby brock,” he answered, “you?” “y/n. y/n l/n.” “ahh pretty name for a pretty girl.” colby takes my hand and kisses the back of it. normally i’d be disgusted by a random guy kissing the back of my hand but i find it charming.
we walk out of the bathroom and we stop to talk in the hallway the bathrooms were at. we talk and talk and talk about random shit that’s happened. i don’t know but i feel like i can easily tell him anything and everything.
“so then after that, i-,” my phone starts to ring, “sorry gimme a second.” “take your time, sugar. i don’t mind” he says.
i answer the call and i put it up to my ear- “GIRL WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!” the yells of jessie blare through my speaker. “up. your. ass.” i joke. “girl this ain’t the time to be joking! we’ve been looking for you.” adrianna says worryingly. “ok ok im sorry. this guy named colby accidentally spilled my drink on my dress and he offered to help clean me up and after that, we’ve just been talking.” they pause. a loooong pause. “adrianna.” jessie sternly says. “yes ma’am?” i can almost hear adrianna saluting. “check colby brocks insta story.” “yes ma’am.” adrianna obeys.
“OH MY GOD.” adrianna exclaims. “HE’S HERE.” i look over at colby and he playfully shrugs while looking at the ceiling. ‘so he’s famous famous. gotcha.’ i think to myself.
“WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!!” jessie screams.
colby then snatches my phone. “we’re by the bathrooms.” he said and hung up. “why’d you do tha-?” i was about to ask. “let’s sneak out the back way.” he grabs my hand and leads me out the back exit.
he brings me to his car and opens the passenger door for me. “thank you.” he politely nods and gets in the drivers seat. i assume he’s taking me to his house but who knows? this handsome ass, and apparently famous, guy is taking me somewhere. why complain.
we pull up to this amazing looking house. colby turns off the car and opens the door for me once more. “thank you, sir.” he smiles and closes the door. i can feel my phone aggressively buzz from texts and missed calls from my friends but i ignore it. ‘i’ll tell them later.’
colby jogs in front of me and opens the front door and almost bowing as i go inside. i giggle at his actions and wait for him to come in with me.
colby plops down on the couch and lets out an over exaggerated groan. i laugh as i sit on the edge of the couch. i moved over to let me fully sit. he crosses his ankle over his other knee and looks at me. “you can sit closer, doll. i don’t bite.” colby winks. i playfully roll my eyes as i push my back against the leather couch and move over next to him.
he puts on a random show and we watch it together. i’m fully invested in the show when i feel a hand on my upper thigh. i glance at his move and think nothing of it. until, he starts moving up and down, getting closer and closer to my lower hip.
at this point, my legs were over his and my shoes were long gone. colby grabs my ankles and pulls me to the end of the couch.
“i keep making lil moves at you and you act like im not even here.” he fake pouts.
‘how do i tell him i’ve never done this before?’ i gulp the knot in my throat.
“uh-uhm… i uh..” i can never get the words out. his face contorts as it looks like he just realized something. he leans back on his feet. “have you ever done anything like this before?” he asks softly.
i swallow another knot in my throat and shake my head as a quiet ‘no’ passes my lips. he sweetly smiles and picks me up bridal style and walks to what it seems like his bedroom. colby gently lays me down as his hands graze my hips as he stands himself up.
“now princess, i’m gonna ask you this and if you say yes, i’m still going to ask you throughout it all, ok?” he reassures. i nod my head. “no, i need your verbal consent, princess. do you want this?” “yes i want this.” i say. “lift your hips.” he asks and i do just that. he hikes up my dress to my mid stomach so he has access to me.
colby slides down my panties and the cold air makes me hiss. he opens his drawer and gets a good bit of lube on his fingers. he breathes on the cold substance to warm it up for me. “are you ok?” he checks. “i’m ok.” i answer.
he slowly glides his fingers up and down my now cold clit and puts one finger in. i jolt from the unknown sensation of his finger in my pussy. colby steadily pushed his fingers in and out until i was getting used to it. his other hand made it to my clit and his two first fingers lazily touched my clit. “you’re too tight, darling. you’ve got to relax.” he calms me.
with more and more touches of his fingers on my clit and the slow pace of his other finger pushing in and out of me, i feel like i can enjoy the pleasure he’s giving me.
i whine as he slowly pulls out. “relax, sugar. we’ll get to your reward.” he unbuckles his jeans and drops them down on the ground. colby takes out a condom and rolls it to the base of his cock. he takes my hand and lifts me up to sit up right. colby carefully slips my dress over my head and carefully discards it somewhere safe so it doesn’t ruin.
“again, do you want this?” he asks. i appreciate his care and thoughtfulness to me considering it was my first time. it makes my heart warm and tingly. “i want this.” i answer. “i’ll go slow until you’re ready, princess.” colby lines up his tip with my pussy and slowly just puts it in. i gasp and hiss from the pain of being stretched out. “are you ok?” he asks concerned. “i’m ok, i’m ok.” i reassured him.
i finally adjust to his size and let out little whimpers and whines. “move…please.” i said. colby slowly puts more in and i’m almost ready for all of him.
i adjust more and more of him until he’s fully in. he looks at me like he’s almost asking for permission to move more. “please go slow.” i plead. “i will, darling.” he kisses my forehead and pulls out to where his tip is only in and slowly pushes it back in me. he does it a couple more times until im ready for him to move faster.
colby gets a good faster pace going and it gets me moaning and wanting more. i’m already on the verge of orgasming and i can’t control it. i try to warn him but the words don’t come out. he hears my struggle with my words and speaks for me. “you gonna cum, princess?” i only nod.
within a few more thrusts, we both toppled over the edge cumming together. colby slowly pulls out, carefully takes the condom off, and throws it away. he goes to the bathroom and runs a warm washcloth over my face, chest, and anywhere else that has sweat or lube on it. he then runs out of his room to get my phone and some water, which i chug down. colby gives me some of his comfy clothes to sleep in and an extra phone charger.
i open my phone to almost 100 messages from my besties group chat.
The Girlies‼️🫡
adri: GIRL WHERED YIU GO
jess: they fucking
adri: nuh uh
jess: wanna bet?
adri: 30 bucks???
jess: yes
1 hour later
you: hey guys
adri: so
jess: whatdya do??
you: oh…. yk😉
jess: CASH APP ME RN
adri: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
- - - - - - -
i’m very sorry for the delay but here it is
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Text
mod post
Hello, here. I just wanted to say, that if we're in a role-play and I don't respond, I am so sorry, sometimes it doesn't give me notifications or anything so I won't even see it, and it'll leave my brain entirely. I'm so sorry. On another note, please don't spam my inbox with the same question, or comment. That pisses me off a lot. Please and thank you
And another thing, if we're in a role play in suicide, or self harm is brought up, I may not respond.
That stuff doesn't sit well with me. At least give me a warning before you start to bring that up. no nsfw either, HARD NO. knock it off, my wolverine doesn't want to fuck you. stop.
None of this means you can't role play with me or send me ask dude just don't repeat it, don't be a bitch, and if you have warnings tell me beforehand..
And with the whole sexual role play thing, some of you maybe like oh what does it say about the deadpools, at least they have the decency to not send me 20 ask of a sexual role-play. STOP.
God forbid I want to role play as my favorite character.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. And for those of you who hasn't sent me sexual role plays, I love you.
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ochrearia · 1 day
Text
8 BFs In a Room
Hell on Ochre technique is making myself balance 8 characters in one drabble because I feel guilty about leaving anyone's BFs out when they're on my list. Have fun shenanigans with a gut punch of angst at the end (sorry) <3
BFs in this drabble: PoPr!BF (Biff, mine), cs!BF (Beefer, mine), fc!BF (Boyf, Keyy's), wyd!BF (Beef, Karl's), sfa!BF (Peacock, Shed's), S2!BF (Bee, Isaac's), Candy!BF? (Blue, Slushgut's, unsure of a prefix for now), Yourself (YS)
“Why did I ever agree to this?” YS grumbled, rubbing a hand across his throat. “Fucking hell, I’m going to have such a sore throat tomorrow morning because I decided to indulge you shitters.”
“Well no one said you had to do them all one right after another, that was you, dumbass.”
YS glared at Boyf. “Oh and how else was I supposed to comprehend the request? Not a single one of you looked willing to wait your turn. No concept of patience in this room.”
“How am I supposed to have patience when you have such a cool song?! I got excited and so did everyone else!” Blue complained, contrasting the grin on his face.
“At least it was only six times and not seven. I had my turn months ago.” Biff was grinning as well. “Though I also had the thought in the back of my head that you wanted to kill me, potentially, so it was nervous fun.”
“I wasn’t gonna-” YS huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “No, fair enough, I literally smacked you across the room. Sorry. Have I ever actually said I was sorry for that? I’m such an idiot.”
“You were forgiven a long time ago, I don’t care.” Softer tone from Biff now. “Though I think you should have recreated the experience for everyone else. Or at least Beef.”
“What the fuck is your problem?!” Beef hollered, making angry faces at Biff. “Fuck you in particular!”
“Fuck you also!”
“I’m not smacking everyone across the room.” YS said bluntly. “I’m not going to be physically hurting any of you on purpose, thank you.”
“Aaah, big guy cares about us.” Peacock teased.
“Okay you’re making me consider going back on what I just said.”
“Can you reconsider that for Beefer specifically I kinda wanna see who’d win between you two.”
“He’s a literal dinosaur?? Who the hell do you think is gonna win?” YS asked incredulously.
“I haven’t figured out how to go into battle mode yet and I’m too nervous about how my situation’s playing out to ask yet.” Beefer shrugged. “If that makes you feel better. I can’t do much other than bite and scratch without it.”
“Can you hurry up and figure it out a little faster though? I’m not the only one who’s curious about all of that you know. I want to see what a dinosaur me would look like!” Insisted Bee, practically stars in his eyes.
“Hey I thought the specimen here was YS, not me!”
“You guys aren’t actually fucking calling me a specimen right. I wasn’t even awake for that shit you can’t just decide that’s one of my nicknames.” YS complained.
“Biff was the one who said it, and also laughed about it.” Peacock pointed.
“Snitch!”
“Holy fuck, you’re all toddlers. All seven of you, I swear to god. Why am I in charge of any of you? Isn’t that what your Picos and GFs are for, I should not be responsible for this.”
“What’s wrong with putting you in charge? You have the best ideas out of all of us.” Blue insisted. “I haven’t been here for too long but you’re pretty cool! The rest of you are too!”
“Him? Cool? Nah, just wait until he’s scared of upsetting you and he starts getting all subdued and nervous.” Boyf snarked with his phone.
“Wait until you find out that he’s-”
“Beef you better not finish that fucking sentence or the dumb corner will PERSONALLY have your name on it.” YS threatened.
“Blame Biff for talking his shit man, that wasn’t my fault.” Beef grinned with a shrug.
“Can you guys stop keeping all these secrets? I want to know the YS lore too. Sharing is caring!” Peacock asked. “How come Biff and Beef get to know but the rest of us don’t?”
“Because Biff’s an asshole and figured it out on his own because he has the same issue.” YS huffed, crossing his arms. “And he decided it would be a wonderful idea to tell Beef, who doesn’t have that issue, and who would sooner exploit it instead of being a kind person.”
“We were doing it to cheer you up, shut up man, you ruin my life with the same problem and I’m at a disadvantage because your tall, lanky ass can pick me up like I weigh nothing!” Biff countered, anger playful.
“Anyone else feel like they’re missing a couple seasons here?” Beefer asked to the rest.
“Sounds like we need to interrogate those two for some info.”
“Beef, we’re buddies… you can tell me!” Bee tried to tempt him. “We played Nun Massacre together that one time, come onnnn, tell me!”
“You tell anyone about that and I’m actually going to go back on what I said earlier. I don’t need anyone else knowing that there’s a way to incapacitate me and you two knowing is already bad enough.”  YS hissed.
“Why would you say that though?” Peacock laughed. “Now we know there’s a way to incapacitate you. Yeah, you’re definitely one of us if you can’t think that far ahead to realize saying that’s only going to make us more curious.”
“Fucking- Shut up. Forget I said that.”
“I’m still stuck on the mental image of him picking Biff up like a toothpick.” Laughed Blue. “Can you do that with all of us? Oh, oh, how many of us do you think you could pick up at once?”
“I am not doing that.”
“Oh my god, this guy is so fucking grumpy and boring. Would you just live a little?” Biff sighed, standing up from his place on the floor. “Think fast chucklenuts, you better catch me or we’re both going to the floor!”
“Biff-!”
Biff ran at YS, jumping halfway there and practically slamming into the taller’s chest. He stumbled, frantically trying to keep himself steady and also make sure the small asshole didn’t crash to the ground between his hands.
“Jesus fucking- Why. Why are you like this. Don’t do that again or I will just drop you on purpose.”
“Nah, you wouldn’t do that, you care too much about your little brother to let him get hurt.” Biff teased snidely.
“Just saying, YS, if you wanted to reconsider him being your first little brother, you still can.”
Biff glowered at Boyf like he’d just tried to commit murder. YS snorted out a laugh, shaking his head at how ridiculous things got when all of them were in the same room.
“So wait, Biff’s not the only one who can have little brother status?” Bee asked. “Wait, where can I sign up?”
“Is there a form we have to sign, or…?” Peacock questioned with a hint of mischief.
“Wait, I want a big brother too!” Blue butted in.
YS wanted to be swallowed into the ground in sheer embarrassment over how happy this was making him. The bloom of warmth in his chest was still so unfamiliar, but incredibly addicting for the times he actually had felt it. Starting right in his heart and aching in the best way, spreading across his chest and successfully chasing away his cold body temperature for a time.
“I’d say me too, but I don’t think he can handle hearing one more of those with how his face is starting to turn red.” Beefer snorted. “You’re so bad at hiding the joy on your face, man. But I think it looks like it belongs on you, to be honest.”
YS couldn’t stifle the groan when his arms were still occupied by Biff, who was an annoying little asshole for jumping at him, causing this to happen all at once, and expose him for how happy he could get over the sentiment of having them all as little brothers. Of course it would be the littlest brother that could cause so much damn chaos in a matter of seconds.
“Shut up…” He protested feebly, but what was he supposed to do when Biff moved closer to give him a proper hug now? Fuck this guy, knowing how to derail everything. He wasn’t used to feeling so loved, hadn’t felt anything like it in a good while.
“I didn’t know this guy even had the capacity to blush. See, these are the things we should be telling each other, every little bit of information is going to help if we have any chance of helping him out like he does with us.” Peacock seemed like he was going to make a list of things at this point.
“True! Even the little things help paint a better picture. Makes it feel like the puzzle we’re solving is an actual person instead of some stranger.” Bee added in agreement.
“You’re all so-” What could he really say? All of them seemed so determined, like they’d all already had this conversation to agree to care. Maybe they had and YS just hadn’t noticed. He didn’t always read every message they sent in the group chat, especially since they could get rather loud in there. The sentiment all directed at him made him lose his words entirely.
“He’s thankful.” Biff answered for him with a softer smile. “Emotionally constipated idiot. I told you, man. Told you everyone was going to come to the same conclusion. You made a point to reach out to everyone in this room and the first thing you said to them was how you wanted to help them. First impressions aside, did you really think we were just going to take your help without wanting to give it back?”
“Man, you really are dumb if you thought that.” Boyf teased. “It’s okay, you’re still the smartest one. Probably. Blame yourself for getting us so addicted to your hugs. As if we weren’t going to start caring about you when you were so insistent to give out such affection.”
“Dude thought giving hugs to the group of idiots who are suckers for physical touch wasn’t going to make us care about him too.” Beefer snorted. “Are we sure we can call this guy the smartest?”
God I hate all of these idiots… no I don’t. YS thought, almost cringing at how fast he went back on his own thought. “Well it wasn’t originally part of my plan to make you guys care about me, I was making the support network for everyone else. So that you’d care about each other.”
“So you’re extra dumb then, because that was not fucking happening.” Stubbornness, the universal attribute. Peacock was a victim to it as much as the rest were.
So… did he have seven little brothers now? What a chaotic family. YS supposed one of them could have been joking and he just wouldn’t know. If they were serious about it, he was too scared to ask still. They’d have to talk to him about it like Boyf and Beef had. He felt a little guilty for forcing them to be the first to bring it up when realistically he wanted to be able to treat them all the same like that. Talk about being addicted, he was addicted to the idea of being  family. Addicted to being kind to them, addicted to the idea he’d get so much more affection turned his way if he could just be honest and ask about the brother stuff.
They were all looking at him with soft looks, expressions also teasing for some of them.
They’re so determined and happy to do this. YS thought, a twinge of guilt stabbing through his chest. I can’t tell them what I’d planned for the support network when I connected enough of them… They care too much about me now, I can’t tell them I was supposed to be… gone… by now.
They didn’t need to know. That plan had gone out the window weeks ago anyway. YS knew he cared too much, as selfish as it was. But now, knowing how much they cared about him too? He couldn’t. And it was fine. They didn’t need to know the extent of it. It was fine.
YS was sure they could tell how much he cared about them all by now anyways. Apparently he was terrible at hiding the joy from his face.
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Text
Logan x Reader pt.16
They say you write what you know so Y/N is having a lil bit of a tough time
There be a little bit of a time jump - nothing major but I haven't written for a week and a bit so it felt necessary
It may not be massively long but don't worry, Victor is in this one, how we feeling about his characteristics? I want him to be the same but different because this world doesn't hate mutants but I don't know if I'm just butchering the character
<<Part 15 Masterlist
“So I'm conclusion, Dave, I'm still not having a great time. I'm being supportive of Gambit and Laura because they want to go to the X-Mansion and it kills me that she stays the night. Yeah, she texts me, lets me know how things are and sends me photos but she is making connections with people that I knew! She is becoming a member of the family. I returned home and it wasn't home. She returned there and it is. And I know that's selfish and stupid and I sound horrid but I am jealous. Jealous of my own daughter, fucking hell. I'm embarrassed about that too! Having to hide it from the others. Wade's off with the Avengers badgering Thor, Elektra has Maria and Natalie - oh no, sorry Natasha, they sent an agent to spy on us, I bet you're one, and the agent became friends, it's.... Anyway. Blade gets up to god knows what. And I'm lying to Logan. He asks for updates and I say I'm fine and I am really, I dunno why I'm moaning. I dunno why I'm making a huge deal out of this. But I'm sad. There's not really a logical reason for me to be sad but I am. And I tell him I’ve gone for a jog or I began a new book when in reality I barely get out of bed to feed the pigeons on my fire escape.” You held your arms, hugging yourself. “I dunno, and I know you're going to say communication is key, talk to everyone, but I don't want them to know I'm sad because I'm always sad. I don't want to be sad any more. I'm bored of it. I'm always the one that's struggling or that needs support and they always provide it but it gets tiring after a while, repeating the same task over and over again."
Dave's eyes pierced yours. He stared directly through them and at your brain, trying to dissect your thoughts straight from the source.
He observed your body language, how frustrated you were at yourself, how tired your bones were.
“First of all: communication is key.” You groaned. “Second of all: there are valid reasons for your lapse. You entered a place where you had made a home, you visited members of your family and they did not recognise or acknowledge who they were to you because they do not know. They are unaware of your pain, unaware that you share this bond. It is natural to feel displaced, especially with the bombardment of memories that you experienced, to be there in the past vs the future is striking, is jarring. And to top that off some of your closest frie-family have decided to make themselves at home there. Yes, you are jealous but you are hurt. Hurt that they would dare to go where you cannot. And I haven't even brought up your parents, yet.”
“Yeah.” You nodded. “Go ahead, why not?”
“Seeing your mother and father brings up your childhood trauma as well as feelings of neglect because she is doing well. She expressed pride when talking about mutants where your mother was scared. Was ashamed.”
You nod again, a lump in your throat preventing you from talking.
“And no it is not healthy to be lying to your partner. I'm sure he would not appreciate it and frankly I don't think he deserves to be lied to.
Fuck you.
“I guess it's just easier because it's texting.” You shrugged. “I couldn't lie to his face, not convincingly anyway. But he's found Victor and they seem to be getting along. I don't know why it was so important to find him. I don't think there was an actual reason to do so, I think it was the same reason I looked up my mom. I think he just needed to see his brother. Which I am not diminishing I just- I know it's important but I don't know why.. so I guess I'm confused about that, too?”
“You are feeling a lot of emotions.” He commented.
“Yeah,” your voice was an octave higher as you agreed. “I haven't felt like this in a long while.”
Dave's lip pulled in a half hearted smile and he began scratching down some notes. “Are you taking your meds?”
“I have been yes.” At your last session Dave had given you a prescription for some antidepressants. Well, no they were more like antianxieties but that didn't really roll off the tongue as well. You had seen Dave twice before this and, as everyone says, each time did get easier. He was still as curt as ever but you grew to appreciate that. No use in a therapist that coddled you.
“We may need to up them if you still feel like this in two months.”
“Two months?!”
“Medication takes its time to get into your system. The only pills that work instantaneously are placebos.”
Fair play.
“How's your sleep pattern?”
“Oh, did I tell you I found a coping mechanism?” He waved his hand for you to proceed. “At night when the nightmares come I do this-” you wrapped a field around yourself but this one was different. This field was stronger, was lighter, was flexible. Moulded to your very being. You had never been able to form anything like this before but one night in sheer terror you accidentally created it. It felt warm. Like a security blanket. “- and I don't feel as bad.”
“That's very good.” He smiled, his eyes scanning your body. “Is that new? The invisibility?”
“The what?” The field immediately fell.
“You were invisible.”
“I beg your finest pardon.”
“Y/N. You were invisible.” You weren't. You could see yourself when the field wrapped around your limbs, it was just the familiar purple hue around your body. “Did you not know?”
“I haven't been able to do that.” It sounded like a question. “I can see myself!"
"I couldn't."
"I have a new power? So I can heal and I can turn invisible? Wh-what else did Stark do to me?!”
“I'm sure Tony Stark didn't mean for this particular side effec-”
“Well, what side effects did he mean for?”
Dave didn't answer you, he let out a sigh and scribbled down on his paper.
~~
Walking home was fine. You stopped off to grab some seeds - the pigeons liked peanuts the best but they ate anything so you might be wrong - and ended up back at your apartment block in no time.
In the elevator your thoughts were wild, bouncing off the box walls.
So invisibility was a thing.
You could be invisible.
That wasn't bad.
Okay it was odd.
Really weird.
When you got back you'd have to take a video to send to Logan.
But why could you see yourself?
You'd have to test it in front of a mirror.
The doors pulled open and you waddled down to your front door in no time, key in hand.
Unlocking the door, you pushed it and paused at the man standing inside. He was in your front room behind the sofa (more towards your kitchen) scanning the place.
Even from his side profile you knew it was Victor.
His head swivelled towards you and he gave you a smile, canines on full display.
“Victor.” Your eyes left him for barely a moment, frantically darting around to see where Logan was, before landing back on him.
Victor eyed you up and down. “You must be Y/N.” He had such an intimidating aura, it was unnatural.
“Where's Logan?”
“Preoccupied.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
You didn't want to think the worst, however that's all your brain could do at the moment. Still though, you kept your chin up, not giving him the satisfaction of looking away again. Victor's hair was longer - facial hair included, he had a beard rather than the stubble you were used to - which made it look lighter. It was still brown and wasn't quite touching his shoulders but the soft locks made him look vastly different. He still had the edge to him but this made him… he seemed wilder? His clothes were plain: a black tee with tan pants and combat boots but he had paired them with a long tan fur trimmed coat.
“Why are you here?”
“Why not?” He smirked, nose twitching. “I see why he chose you.”
You didn't know what to do. Why was he being so unsettling?
The door to your room opened and Logan came out, despite his face being covered by a beard you could see it lit up when he saw you.
“Y/N, hey!” He grinned, making a beeline straight to you. “You've met Victor?”
Logan's arm wrapped itself around your waist as he glanced at his brother. “He's being fucking weird but yeah, we've met.”
“Vic, c’mon don't be an ass to my girl.”
Victor gave a shrug, stepping backwards and running his nails against your counter top. “Can’t help it. She's divine, a nice little catch.”
“Victor, I won't ask twice. Not in her home.”
The man in question rolled his eyes but put his hands up in surrender.
~~
“So he's staying for how long?” You questioned sitting on the lip of the bath whilst Logan carefully shaved his face.
“I don't know.” His eyes met yours in the mirror. “When I found him we got talking, I explained the situation and I wanted to ask him about our father, I- I just wanted to talk to him. When the illuminati assessed me they asked about relatives and despite it all I said Victor’s name. Got them to update me if they found him because I knew if he didn't want to be found he wouldn't be. That's why I had to leave, if I hadn't and he vanished again I'd have missed the chance.”
“So… how long's he staying?” You repeated with a playful smirk.
Logan rolled his eyes. “I know he can be a bit intimidating but if he's anything like my Victor it's all an act.”
“I've just never managed to get along with a Victor Creed.”
“He didn't have anywhere to go, was roaming about in the snow.” Logan let out a soft sigh. “We have these spare apartments here and… he's my brother.” You could see the conflict behind the decision. See how Logan was unsure of himself. “Wanted him to meet you. To meet Laura, too.”
Your heart lurched at the low confessions. He was such a girl dad you loved it. “She's been at the mansion a lot. I can call her, tell her to come back tomorrow or the next day, we could go out for a meal or a museum or bowling?”
Would bowling work with his nails?
Logan tried not to smile but it didn't work. “I'd like that.”
Your eyes left his, flittering down to your knees. You couldn't begrudge his decision, he wanted his brother to meet his partner and child. It was a decision made out of love as that just made your heart swell.
“How did you find the mansion?” Logan finished with his face, turning to lean against the sinks countertop. “I know we've spoken about it on text but it's not the same as talking.”
“Uh, yeah, the mansion was alright.” You clasped your hands. “The same as it ever was.”
Logan was waiting for more. “That's it?”
“Yeah. Not much more to say.” You shrug one shoulder.
He frowned. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” You told him honestly because technically nothing did happen at the mansion when you went. You were just preoccupied with memories and then left to see your parents but that was off Charles' property. “Just was a bit meh.”
Logan still waited for any elaboration. He wasn't a fool, he'd noticed the sag in your shoulders and the bags under your eyes. Your hair needed some love and your skin a shade paler. The telltale signs of ‘Y/N having nightmares’, he had seen them back in his universe and been able to soothe you so why would this be any different?
“Please talk to me.”
You opened your mouth, wanting to talk to him. Wanting to divulge what had happened these past few weeks but you didn't. You couldn't. “I will but not yet.” You outstretched your hand and he immediately accepted it. “I promise I'm okay and I will tell you.”
Logan hated that. Hated that you couldn't tell him this. Weren't you marri- no, you weren't. Why weren't you? You were married but he wasn't but you were married to him. But not to him.
He should remedy that.
“I must confess though,” your sweet voice cemented it. He had to. “I liked the beard.”
Logan's eyes crinkled and he held your cheek in one palm. “Thank you.”
"It grew so quickly."
"My hair does."
Your eyes shone under the fluorescent tube. “But this is you. This is Logan."
Logan considered his appearance - his ‘kitten ears’ and mutton chops - and wondered if he was born in this time would he look different? Most people eyed him with caution but not you. You gazed lovingly at him. “I've looked like this for about 200 years, no use in changing it now.”
You kissed his palm.
~~
Victor had also shaved his facial hair when you reconnected. He wore the same oversized sideburns as Logan and fuck me they looked similar.
You gave him an awkward smile from the kitchen as Logan set the table. The two of you had decided on enchiladas for dinner and had obviously invited Victor.
Logan had offered up Laura's original apartment to his brother seeing as she fully moved into yours when you fully moved into his.
Your phone buzzed on the countertop, Elektra's name lighting the screen.
Elektra: Who's the man Logan let into the 16? X
Y/N: His brother x
Y/N: Long story, I will inform you when I have all the details x
Elektra: he's cute x
Y/N: if you want to keep thinking like that don't talk to him x
Elektra: LOL
You placed your phone into your pocket and, bent to pull the food out of the oven, calling ‘dinners ready’ over your shoulder.
Logan gestured for Victor to sit at the table, unlike the other apartments this one was circular so there was no faffing about with who's sitting where.
Victor sat, giving you a wary glance as the food was placed in the centre. “Careful it's hot.”
He chuckled. “You don't have to worry about me.”
“Sorry.” Of course you didn't. “Force of habit.”
Logan ran a hand up your arm. “Don't worry, it's sweet.” And then sat in-between the two of you.
“Oh!” You remembered drinks. “You guys want a beer?”
The two nodded and said ‘thanks’ at the same time before eyeing each other.
This was so strange. You darted off to the fridge grabbing two beers and a can of 7up for yourself. Beer tasted too much like alcohol for your liking and you were afraid to have any flavoured gin or rum in case the sour mood you'd been living in for the past week made itself known.
Logan dished up an enchilada for Victor, then himself and just as you were sitting he placed one on your plate.
“Right, Victor, I hope you like it.” You wanted him before he took a bite. “I had to look in the fridge and just make it work.”
“I've lived through wars, I'm sure this is acceptable.” He gave you a wink except this time you didn't feel revulsion. He was making a joke and you imagined many missed them due to how dry his wit was.
“It'll be the best thing you've ever had.” Logan boasted. “Y/N pretends she isn't but she's the best chef I know.”
You roll your eyes. “It isn't hard to put some ingredients together. I'm not amazing but living in the Mansion made me cook.”
Victor took a bite and scanned you. “You lived in the X-Mansion?”
You nodded, mouth full of food. “Mhmm.”
“In your universe?”
Raising a hand in a ‘one sec' sign, you chewed faster. “Yes, I've actually met another version of you. Your hair is longer.”
“The version Logan met?”
Logan shook his head. “Nah, we're not from the same universe. In mine his hair is longer, eyebrows too.”
Victor's eyes squint as he gives the two of you a look of disbelief. “You are aware this sounds like a crock of shit.”
“You're a mutant living in a world where there's super soldiers and planetary travel but alternate universes are where you draw the line?”
Logan sniggered at your response, looking over to Victor. “In both our worlds being a mutant wasn't a good thing. I ain't saying this world is perfect. There's still racism and homophobia and all other sorts of hate but in ours we were the most targeted group.”
“People sold mutants in the streets in mine.” You shoved the memory out of your mind. “There was this country Magneto had - a safe haven - but even that wasn't completely safe from the humans.”
Victor considered the words, silently chewing his food. “What did we do about it then?”
Logan puffed air out of his mouth. “You and I fought in wars mostly, we, uh, we differed. You liked the fight too much. We met again later and were on opposite sides.”
He frowned. “So you were with the humans?”
“No. But I didn't want to kill them all or enslave them. You were part of a group that wanted that. Don't get me wrong, you were your own man but you did work with them.”
“I fought you.” You chimed in. “It wasn't easy. You're fucking strong.”
Victor smirked. “What is your ability?”
“Force fields.”
Logan scoffed. “It's more than that. She can bend them to her will, create shapes, fight with them.”
“Oh, yes and Lo' I've just discovered that I can do this.” You recalled, forming the newer field around yourself. “Apparently you can't see me but I can see me.”
Logan's eyes were massive, his fork landing on the plate below. “Y/N? W-thats a new power!”
You released yourself. “Yes, I was having a horsey dream-” translation: nightmare “-and I did this then I spoke about it at therapy because it feels different - it's like a warm blanket around my body - and Dave told me I was invisible.”
“That's- that's incredible.” Logan's grin was so wide you were worried it would hurt. His hand squeezed yours tightly.
“I bet it has something to do with Stark altering me. So, Tony Stark changed my DNA because I got stabbed a little bit and he was upset that Logan called him in the early hours.”
“A little bit stabbed?” Logan sassed.
“Laura didn't mean it.”
Victor just watched you both, appreciating the background knowledge but still fairly clueless.
“Victor, Laura is our daughter. She's from another universe. One where they cloned Logan. She has claws too.” You supplied, addressing Logan. “She did actually respond, Lo', should be here tomorrow in the afternoon.”
He wiped his mouth with a thumb. “That's good, been a while since I've seen the kid.”
After that there was a natural lull in the conversation, the only sound being cutlery and mouth sounds until you asked, “What about you Victor? Tell us about your life.”
The man's eyes enlarged and he scratched his chin.
“Uh, my father - Thomas - was a groundskeeper in the Northwest, he had an affair with his employer so life was good until it wasn't. And that was at the same time that my mutation began to reveal itself too so shit hit the fan for us. We survived, I lived a lot longer than him. I fought in the Civil war, World War I and II, Nam. Uhm, like in your experience, I was not well received back in the Northwest due to my mutation, so it's good to see the changes in how humans treat mutants.”
“Have you got any family? Friends?” You pushed.
“I keep in contact with some of the War buddies - Steve, James, Isaiah, Grimm, Rex and Frank but I’ve never felt the need to settle. Outlive them anyway.” The last sentence was said with such a final tone that you didn't want to pry any more.
After the meal had been eaten, you spent longer at the table merely chatting about anything and nothing. Victor told you as he rose with his plate that the meal was “tolerable” with another pointed wink.
~~
Logan's eyes hadn't left you since you began your nightly routine. He watched you from the lip of the bath, mirroring your own actions hours ago.
"I barely survived out there." He told you as you cleaned your face.
"No?" You quirked a brow.
"You were all I could think about." He confessed without a hint of embarrassment. "I hated being apart. I don't want to be apart again."
Your cheeks warmed. "We don't have to be."
"I know." He hopped up and wrapped you into a hug, watching you in the mirror. "You're beautiful."
"What do you want?" You chuckled, suspicions growing.
Logan kissed your shoulder. "You, always."
You watched, more than felt, as his right hand slowly made its way downwards.
It took little to no effort in slipping under the sleep shorts and caressing your pussy. Your breath stuttered as he cupped you but not wholly because of the action but because of the determination in his eyes.
He had missed you.
Logan's fingers played with you and you let your head fall backwards, leaning on him, moth agape.
"Look at yourself, look how fucking hot you are." He nipped your ear. "How long's it been since I smelt like you?"
He entered his middle finger, met with slight resistance. You hadn't had the energy to fool around so it had been a hot minute since anything was in you.
Logan pumped his hand, finger sliding deeper. You whimpered as he met knuckle.
You'd missed this.
Missed Logan making you cum and forgetting all else. When you were bouncing on his dick was when you were happiest.
He kept the slow rhythm, carefully introducing his ring finger, and you were more relaxed than you had been in a long while.
Logan watched the tension ebb from you. Noticed the weight leaving your shoulders as you melt into his chest.
Briefly the short speech of your pharmacist echoed in your mind, telling you that these pills come with side effects - one being that it may take a while to climax. But then Logan licked your neck and you were back here. Fuck that noise, this was real and this was happening.
"He's jealous." Logan whispered, the hand that was settled on your hip pinched your left nipple. "He could smell how sweet you were."
"Hmm?"
Logan bit down on your neck, biting and sucking the flesh, marking you to high heavens before the skin faded back to its natural colour. "Fuck Stark."
"Logan, everyone knows I'm yours." Your eyes felt heavy with how relaxed you had become.
"Need to show them." The rhythm picked up and he kneaded your breast.
You released a breathy noise in response.
"Wish I kept my dog tags." Logan was genuinely upset. "Kept thinking about you in nothing but them." His hips shifted against you and you arched your spine.
"You thought about me?" When had your eyes shut? Either way you opened them to watch Logan lost in your pleasure.
"Every damn minute." He answered. "Nothing different."
"I missed you." Your eyes fluttered closed as your mouth opened, a moan tumbling out.
Logan's chest vibrated with his groan. "I love you."
He cranked the dial up to 11 and pinched your clit with his left hand so you could only reply with a nod. Logan kissed your neck in apology for being harsh to her but he could never say he wouldn't do that again. Not after your aroused yelp.
With a hand in you, the other paying attention to your clit, his mouth leaving open kisses on your neck and his own growls you were a goner.
Pussy pulsing around his fingers as you fell into his back. Your orgasm taking it out of you.
Logan - with an arousing amount of ease - bent to pick you up and carry you over the threshold into your room.
@killerwendigo @littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @br3nt-12 @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @ravenmedows @electricreader @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae @mei-simp @slightlymediocree @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @the-ruler-of-death
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lillified · 1 year
Note
Oh!! Btw! I'm a drag artist and I'm doing a drag cosplay of starscream for pride and tfnation 2023 and sometimes when I question if the look is too fem or cutesy shaped, I think about your starscream and I remind myself that I'm serving cunt actually. Thank you for your service
hi!! I absolutely love both of the asks you sent but I hope you don’t mind me responding to this one with a little bit of personal musing—specifically about Starscream and femininity, lol. (long post warning!!)
I cannot stress enough how generally positive and supportive reception to my changes has been, especially in the case of Starscream—that being said, I do think about the occasional pushback I get every so often, and how it feeds into why I make the choices I do
starscream has always been a feminine character, which I think is part of why a lot of people are drawn to it in the first place—even talking to older fans, who grew up with the original show, there seems to be this implicit understanding that Starscream is something “other” (“pretty poison” as a beta name should tell you quite a bit). this is something that has remained relatively consistent in the entirety of transformers—albeit in, I’d argue, the worst way possible.
there are a lot of character decisions I dislike on a thematic level that vary across continuity, but one extremely reliable element of any Starscream is the way femininity defines their villainy. you’re never supposed to like the “feminine” traits. they’re played for jokes and comically exaggerated at best; at worst, any and all Starscream redemption arcs are completely dependent on grappling with emasculation, and shedding the feminine. Even in continuities where other characters (a whole other ballpark) are murderous, abusive, and violent, Starscream is canonically regarded as morally lesser, specifically because their villainy manifests in the feminine. masculine, “active” displays of malice are more noble and admirable than the “passive” and “feminine” act of quiet scheming and deception.
I’m not saying that Starscream doesn’t do bad things, obviously, but this is such a constant theme that it has thoroughly leeched its way into fan spaces as well. I’m not really active in fan communities anymore, but I will always feel frustrated with how the character’s femininity is simultaneously misunderstood and exploited, because that is the natural reaction to femininity. it is inoffensive and clean and neat, and it fits into one of very few digestible archetypes, because it is not perceived as a natural form of expression, but an other. it is only allowed when it is attractive and easy to understand.
this is something that extends to women, as, obviously, in a performative binary womanhood is a shorthand for femininity. “woman” is an other, and feminine women exist in palatable, digestible archetypes. even with all the progress we have made it is really not common to see women or feminine characters in general treated with equal respect or interest, and, the more you pay attention, the more you’ll notice a total apathy for their feelings, struggles, and complexity.
I know this is all really dense, but I bring that all up to say that there is a reason I want to spotlight and elaborate on Starscream’s femininity. it’s a trait that is inherent to the character, but I’d argue that there hasn’t ever really been a moment where that femininity ever manifests as something positive. it’s a derogatory label, but never something the character owns.
I want to see a Starscream that is confidently feminine and “cutesy” because the character has never been afforded that luxury! moreover, I want to portray a fully femme Starscream because there is no reason that should change the character’s complexity or their queer association! (I once saw the argument that making Starscream a girl would be “erasing the character’s queer history” and that kind of sums up the casual effect of misogyny in these weird online spaces, lol. granted that doesn’t mean you can’t project or imagine any gender identity you want for the character—I think that’s very good, actually!!) even though I have never personally been a feminine person, I’ve always been really attached to Starscream’s femininity and the idea of a femme-presenting version because there was a sorely lacking character type I desperately wanted to see—a messy, bitter, and by all means “evil” person who was also feminine, without those things being linked via cause and effect. I hope that makes sense?? essentially, a very feminine girl whose femininity wasn’t the implicit or explicit cause of their moral failings, and was instead treated as. yknow, a neutral mode of expression
anyway, I am very sorry for saying so many words about something pretty trivial here. if you couldn’t tell transformers was the thing that first got me thinking about gender and themes and media critique as a child, so i have feelings like this, lol. none of the problems I listed here are ultimately all that serious and they certainly aren’t exclusive to the robots, but it’s something I really wanted to talk about!
TL;DR: Starscream’s gender is what you make of it and i think you shouldnt stop yourself because it is accurate to the character, actually! I hope that I can encourage people to think outside the box of what rigidly exists in writing and expand their horizons to what the art is trying to say, and how your experience is important :)
sorry again for the long post jeez!!
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