#i am too stupid to try to fix any myself

[bitchc0ck]

can someone fucking tell me why my tumblr app updated when i have purposely NOT updated it in nearly a near 🙃

[cavity-collector]

i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[lynxgirlpaws]

>do nothing all day >finally start editing >hear my voice >massive self hatred god I fujcking love this

[sevicia]

I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

[deeisace]

.

[tortademaracuya]

love being reminded by the "bestie" that keeps being close friends with all the girls that treated me like shit about the other friend not from that group that also treated me like shit and tried to convince others to leave me

[daz4i]

besties i'm gonna be honest for a sec. things are not good 👍

[thecherrygod]

Hm

[xoamiiren]

KISSES AFTER CHAOS, ⋆｡°✩ 𓈒𓈒 making up

𖥔 PRECIS. they comfort you after a silly disagreement. PAIRING. patient bf!enha x stubborn gf!reader GENRE. fluff WARNINGS. skinship, mild kissing, pet names

authors note ୨୧ I kept these all fairly simple and sweet. I think Jake’s is my favorite only because I can see it so clearly.

─────────

HEESEUNG

Heeseung stood nearby, glancing over at you while pretending to be busy, giving you your space after your argument.

Each time he tried to approach or touch you, you yanked away, so he respected your silent request for distance.

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to leave you alone entirely.

Instead, he watched as you moved around the room, doing small tasks for you even when you’d roll your eyes and mutter “I can do it myself”, feeling the tension between you.

You worked quietly, but you could sense his eyes on you. As you huffed and passed by him one more time, trying to brush by quickly, Heeseung’s hand suddenly caught your wrist.

His soft voice broke the silence.

"C’mere," he murmured, pulling you into his chest.

His arms wrapped around you tightly, his chin resting on your head as he kissed your hair.

"I’m sorry, love... okay? I’m sorry..." he whispered, the warmth of his embrace melting your resistance.

A small, knowing smirk tugged at his lips when you nodded quietly and hugged around his waist. He was fully aware of how dramatic you could be, but he adored it.

JAY

After 20 minutes or so, Jay figured you had calmed down after your blow-up.

So, he made his way to you and found you sitting at your desk in your shared bedroom.

Jay pulled the chair out and knelt down in front of you, bringing himself to your eye level, his gaze softening as he spoke.

“Baby... I’m sorry. This is stupid, and I want us to work through it... is that alright?”

His hand reached up to gently fix a strand of your hair, his touch tender as he rubbed your thighs and knees, waiting for any kind of response.

When you stayed silent, still stubbornly holding your ground, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a soft, sensual kiss.

Pulling back, Jay raised his eyebrows with a playful smirk, imitating your shocked expression.

“We’re done fighting,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Get dressed, we’re going out.”

JAKE

Jake found you on the bed, sitting up against the headboard, staring out the window in silence after snapping over something minor.

He approached cautiously, not wanting to push too soon.

His pinky softly hooked with yours, a gentle, hesitant touch.

When you pulled away and crossed your arms, he played with the hem of your shirt instead, his fingers brushing your skin as he looked at you with those irresistible puppy eyes, waiting for you to break.

When you still didn’t budge, Jake leaned in closer, his voice soft.

“Come closer, (y/n)… please? I’m sorry…”

He carefully slotted himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your hips, swaying the both of you gently.

Even though you were still sulking, Jake couldn’t help but chuckle a little, amusement in his tone.

“Baby~ let’s stop. Hm?” He nuzzled into your neck, waiting for you to finally give in to his warmth.

SUNGHOON

After your argument, Sunghoon gave you space, taking a quiet drive to clear his head.

It had been insignificant, but knowing you were upset, he knew better than to let it fester.

When he came back, you were still in the living room, lost in thought.

Without a word, he walked up behind you, gently grabbing your hips and pulling you back against him with, before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

“C’mon... let’s talk,” he murmured.

He took your hand, pulling you toward the bedroom.

You purposely dragged your feet, a little pout on your face, whilst you rolled your eyes.

But inside, you were secretly excited.

Sunghoon glanced over his shoulder with a knowing smirk, shaking his head.

“What am I gonna do with you, (Y/n)…” he sighed, his voice playful as he tugged you in behind him.

“I have a few ideas…” you shrug, walking past him towards the bed.

He raises a brow, but shuts the bedroom door before moving towards you.

He has a special way of apologizing.

SUNOO

Sunoo always preferred giving you both some time to cool off after an argument, but it wasn’t long before he started making his way back into your good graces.

“Babe, I’m gonna do my skincare, maybe have a bath… come with me?” he called out, peeking around the corner at with hopeful eyes, he was even shirtless in hopes you’d cave.

“I’m busy, Sunoo.”, you’d retort, back turned.

When that didn’t work, he tried again later, finding you in the living room, sprawled out on the couch.

With more enthusiasm in his voice, he smiled.

“(Y/n), there’s a new drama we should watch together!”

“Hm…”, you sighed, rolling over onto your belly and closing your eyes.

Seeing you still didn’t budge, he finally sighed, coming over to where you laid, kicking your foot gently.

“Mm, you’re still mad?”, he pouted before kneeling down beside you.

“You aren’t still mad at me, are you?”

When you sat up and glared at him, he grinned.

Without waiting for an answer, he started kissing your cheeks, then your forehead, moving across your face with soft, playful pecks until you couldn’t help but smile and give in.

JUNGWON

After your blow-up, Jungwon quietly stepped out, giving you the space he knew you needed.

He didn’t hover, knowing that pushing to fix things right away would only make things worse.

So, he left for a bit, letting you sit with your thoughts.

When he returned, the soft sound of the door closing made you glance up, and there he was—carrying a small bouquet of flowers and a box of your favorite sweets.

Without a word, he sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb you too much.

You just stared, biting your lip gently.

He placed the flowers next to you, his gaze soft as he waited for you to speak first.

"See the flowers?" he asked gently, his voice warm and patient.

You nodded, reaching out to touch the velvety petals carefully, your eyes growing glossy.

"You like them?", he added, cat-like gaze wide and in search of approval.

You looked between him and the bouquet, the tension between you two starting to ease just a little.

Jungwon shifted closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I know you didn’t mean everything you said,” he whispered, his thumb softly tracing your cheek.

“I didn’t…” you shook your head.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, his voice quiet, almost tentative, like he was asking for permission to step back into your heart.

“Please…?”

NI-KI

When you and Ni-ki fought, especially over something as petty as this, he never felt the need to avoid you.

Instead, he did what he did best—get on your nerves.

The first time you stormed past him, your hips swaying with frustration, he didn’t hesitate. His hand playfully slapped your butt, a cheeky grin spreading across his face when you whipped around to glare at him, completely unamused.

He just shrugged, his smile only growing wider.

When that didn’t break your mood, he upped his game, messing with your things. While you were in the shower, he snuck in and swiped your towel, leaving you to yell after him.

But the final straw came later, as you sat on the bed, getting ready to turn in for the night.

Just when you thought he’d given up, Ni-ki tackled you.

Full-on WWE-style, his arms wrapped around you in a headlock as you both tumbled across the sheets.

“Ni-ki! Get off of me!” you barked, but the laughter in your voice was clear.

He held on tighter, laughing into your ear.

“But you’re so sexy when you’re mad!” he teased, making it impossible for you to stay annoyed any longer as you dissolved into giggles beneath him.

[clonewarsahsoka]

I stayed up too late

[noxtivagus]

i'll succeed with everything. definitely.

[rikiislvr]

🤍love - nishimura riki

pairing: nishimura riki x afab!reader

summary: you and niki got into a argument about your love for each other and if it was fading away or not, niki knew exactly what to do to reassure you, he isn’t going anywhere.

warnings: kissing

私の愛 - my love

“am i not enough for you?” you ask your boyfriend as he couldn’t even look at you as you spoke.

you two haven’t had a big argument like this in ages, and the reasoning behind it was so stupid..

niki lately has been less affectionate towards you.

so lately you’ve been trying to be a better girlfriend. you cooked more, helped him after practice, gave him space and it still wasn’t changing nor making difference in his actions towards you.

“niki?!“ you scoff and he lifted his head up to you, “y/n.. of course you are enough whyd you even ask a question like that—

“because you aren’t showing it!” you cross your arms. niki sighed and walked up to you and your head dropped as you felt tears swarming in your eyes.

“baby..” he whispered, he was stab big himself mentally for the way he was treating you, he was so stressed with his comeback that he didn’t even notice how hard he’s been on you.

“i’m so sorry my love..” he says and pulled you into his embrace, the warmth radiating off his body onto yours as he rubbed your back in small circles.

“what’s wrong niki? what am i doing?” you sobbed, niki shut his eyes harshly at the sound of your shaky voice, he lifted you up by your legs and carried you over to the island counter of the kitchen and set you down.

he stood in front of you and cupped your face, wiping away any tears that managed to escape. “nothings wrong princess. nothing at all.” he shook his head,

“i let my stress get in the way. and im so sorry. you’re doing amazing for me.” he stared deeply into your watery eyes.

“i hate myself for the way i treat you. i really do. 私の愛, you don’t deserve any of this.” he shook his head, you just stared at him, you could feel he was going to say something, you were just scared of what it was.

“you need to be happy, y/n.” he rested his forehead on yours, “so i’m gonna go.” he dropped his eyes to break them from looking at yours, “w-what? gonna go where?” you pulled away from him.

“i’m gonna go back to the dorms and let you have some time—

“no! niki- you cant.. you—“ you choked back a sob, “i’m doing this so i can clear my head without bringing it onto you.” he bit his lip and looked down at the floor.

niki was staying at your apartment for the past month, you’ve grown into his presence so much and you couldn’t even get your mind to think about how it would be if he was gone.

“please.. you don’t have too.” you shake your head, he walked to you again, and grabbed your face, pulling you to rest foreheads again.

“i love you.” he whispered, you sucked in your lips, “i love you more.”

he kissed your forehead softly, before going down to kiss your lips, as he tried to pull away you deepened it, not wanting him to leave.

but he was right. you two needed the time.

you guys finally pulled away from the passionate kiss, before he smiled at you, making you giggle softly, “i’ll be back. okay?” he tilt his head as you looked down,

“okayy?“ he asked again dropped his head lower to see yours, you just smiled, he chuckled at your cuteness before ticking your sides, making you gasp into laughter, “okay okay! okay!” you cry out and he stopped with a smile on his face.

he backed away from you, your hand still in his, he lifted your hand up and kissed the back of it, “i’ll see you soon.” he says, and you nod softly before he let go and made his way out your apartment door.

you sighed and cleared your throat. you fixed your hair and jumped up off the counter, you looked around and noticed his bracelet he left on the counter, and smiled as you picked it up and put it on.

he’ll be back, for you AND for this bracelet.

a/n: HI GUYS oh i’m so sorry for being inactive. i’ve been so busy and so so unmotivated, i’ll try to make small drafts here and there and finish any stories i was supposed too WHEN I CAN, i love u guys <3

tl: @certified-ni-ki-lover @noblub-4ulolz @yourmyst4r @vixialuvs @ni-ki-ismyluv @judeduartewannabe @soobs-things @en-chantedtomeetyou @definitelynotherr @heyniki @wntersm @geniejunn @pkjay @baevsxii

[green-alien-turdz]

Hi, I know its been a minute n I don't really like that there is like one or two posts between this n my last 'i'm still alive' post. I'm sorry. I wanted to say thank you to everyone in general, but also the mfs who said some nice ass shit to me. Sorry I said some concernin ass shit n just dipped, that was pretty fucked. I never really had people care like all the people on here, so I ain't too used to havin to be more careful with the shit I do n say.

Thank you to everyone for the kind words, concern, n care. Comin back to see all of it made my fuckin heart melt. I know I'm just some dumbass postin south park shit on tumblr, but you guys are genuinely the most amazin mfs I've ever encountered. To the people who were in my inbox askin if I was still alive, I sincerely apologize for causin any stress or concern, it's not my intention. You guys are the sweetest people, and I'm sorry for doin that. I should prolly stop bein as vocal about bein so fucked, but I also like to be honest n I like sharin this shit bcuz I know mfs be goin through the same shit n bein alone in it feels fuckin awful majority of the time.

I am not well. I am doin very bad actually. There's a chance imma be forcefully medicated in the near future. Which is weird bcuz I used to always want that, I wanted to be fixed, but now I'm not sure for like a TON of reasons. One, ion wanna be changed (in a sense). If the meds take away or dull core aspects of myself, I will lose it further than I have already. Two, my parents raised me to never trust doctors or medicine, etc. Even though I do think modern medicine is a great thing, I still have my fears bcuz of how I was raised. Three, I fear the fuck outta what I will do. I know they warn that adjustment periods n shit like that can make things worse- but I literally cannot get any worse. If I do, I know I will not come out alive. Which bleeds into reason four, which is that I know, at some point, I would try n overdose. Handin me such a quick n thoughtless way to just end it is like the worst fuckin thing they could do. But whatever. Ion even know when it's gonna happen, all I know is that ion got a choice. Like, I'm pretty sure it's a situation that, if I don't comply, imma be locked tf up.

Uhh minor update shit- my cat came back home after almost a month of bein fuckin somewhere. She came back skinny, dirty, n sick, but she is slowly recoverin n I've never been more thankful. ED is still kickin my ass, but I'm forcin myself to at least have a fuckin soup I made bcuz I can't get shit done at work if I keep faintin or gettin injured. I have little to no time to do shitfuck, but still do random shit periodically before or after work. I actually redid my dresser n made some stupid ass video about the handles that I might post to youtube if I quit bein a pussy about it.

I haven't been drawin my fanart as of late- but I do want to. Imma focus on doin the requests I have bcuz I wanna give back the best I can. You guys stick with me through thick n thin. I thank you all so much. I'm sorry I'm always MIA. So my posts for a little bit are gonna be the requests n answerin all of my inbox. Ion know how long it'll take, but hopefully it won't get borin. I genuinely love makin things. I love drawin the shit I do n people findin some sort of connection to their lives or themselves. I just want people to feel less alone, less ugly, less whatever the fuck you feel. Each n every one of ya is fuckin amazin, so please don't forget it.

Imma stfu now. But I hope you guys have a good rest of your day or night or eternity. I'll be back to postin shortly, thank you for stickin with this shit show

[nadvs]

can i request for the swte universe in their college days, reader seems like a perfectionist to me so what if she failed on an exam or she didn't get there in time and she failed her class and she got really upset, feeling terrible about herself, very disappointed and rafe tries to uplift her mood, trying to get her out of her dorm room?🤍🤍🤍

omg yessss i always love your prompts 🥹

based on this fic

» au masterlist

she had a bad feeling about the midterm. sometimes she could tell when she was being too hard on herself, when she was catastrophizing, but she knew she wasn’t exaggerating when she told rafe that her mind went blank during the test and that she’s sure she failed.

now, as she sits in her dorm checking her grade on her laptop the night after, she gets the confirmation.

she texts her boyfriend, just like she did when they were best friends and told each other everything. i was right.

her phone starts buzzing with a phone call.

“you okay?” he says when she picks up. he remembers that her grade was supposed to be posted tonight.

“no,” she says with a defeated laugh.

rafe is with the guys, watching a game at the house. he stands up off the couch, holding his phone to his ear. one of his housemates points to the screen, eyebrow raised, clearly confused why rafe would leave when there’s a minute left in an intense game.

but he ignores him, rounding the corner to pace into the hallway. he leans back against a wall, arm crossed over his chest.

“how bad is it?” he asks.

“so bad that i’m working on an email to my prof to ask if i can retake it or do anything for extra credit,” she says. “i didn’t even pass.”

he can hear the panic in her voice. rafe chews on his thumbnail as he stares down at the floor.

“it’s not over,” he says. he realizes he sounds just like he does when he’s trying to motivate his teammates between periods during a rough game. he rethinks his approach. this isn’t a game. this is his girl. and she’s freaked out about her future.

“baby, it happens,” he says. “everyone fails at some point.”

“this is so bad,” she mumbles. “i’m so stupid.”

he grimaces. they’re basically the same person. he knows how much pressure she puts on herself. sometimes, he’s almost certain that she thinks she has to be perfect to be worth something, just like he does.

“where are you?” he asks.

“home.” her inhale is shaky. “i shouldn’t have stayed up late studying so much. i thought it’d be better to learn what i could, but running on barely any sleep must’ve messed me up.”

“send the email,” he says. “and be ready in half an hour, okay?”

she’s quiet for a moment.

“why?”

“because i know you’re gonna sit in your room all night, beating yourself up, thinking about what you should’ve done and there’s no point to any of it,” he says. “just be ready, alright?”

moments like these, she’s glad her boyfriend is so bossy and decisive. her head is such a mess right now, somehow feeling both chaotic and blank at the same time.

rafe texts when he arrives. when she settles in his passenger seat, he can see that she’s been crying. he shuts off his music and gently pulls her in, his palm at the back of her neck, so that she’ll nuzzle into his chest.

it’s his go-to move when she’s upset. it always works. after crying against him for a moment, her breaths start to even out.

he kisses her forehead, his hand running up and down her back. he hates this feeling, when she’s so stressed out and he’s utterly powerless.

“you’re not stupid,” he mumbles against her hair.

“i am. i’m so disappointed in myself,” she says, her voice brittle. “how could i fuck up this bad?”

he frowns. he knows her well enough by now. sometimes she needs tough love. sometimes it’s the only thing that’ll pull her out of her haze.

“it happened,” he says. he pulls back just enough so she can look up at him. “can you change that it happened?”

“no.”

“is calling yourself stupid going to fix it?”

“no.”

“that’s my girl you’re talking to,” he says, his blue eyes sweeping over her face in worry. “my girl isn’t stupid.”

her lips twist in sorrow, but she nods, eyelids fluttering. she spirals sometimes. she can tell she’s doing it right now.

rafe’s hand rests on her damp cheek, rubbing his thumb over her skin.

“you anxious?” he asks.

“very,” she replies.

so, he decides to see if his most effective way of cooling down when he’s wired will help her.

he pulls into a lot by an outdoor court he always sees on his drive to her campus and takes the basketball out of his trunk when he parks.

“this is kind of unfair,” she says lightheartedly when she gets out of his car into the cool night air. “no chance i’m winning a one-on-one against you.”

“we’re just shooting hoops,” he says, putting an arm around her as he holds the ball to his chest.

the court is empty and quiet and dimly lit. they stand below one of the nets, bouncing the ball back and forth between each other.

“what if i fail the course?” she says.

“you won’t.”

“but if i do?”

“if you do, you’ll survive,” rafe replies. “you think some class can take you down?”

she breathes a chuckle. when she gets the ball back, she holds it, standing across from him, staring. all they ever are with each other is honest. it’s how it’s always been.

“i’m scared,” she admits. “i’m scared this will throw off my timing and i won’t graduate when i want to.”

“baby, there’s no way that’s happening,” he says confidently. “one bad grade won’t do that.”

“you seem so sure,” she states. she bounces the ball back to him.

“here. if i make this, it means you’ll fail the course.”

he takes the ball in both hands, holds it over his head, and throws it so it hits the rim hard, making the whole backboard shake as the ball goes flying down the court.

“i think that was rigged,” she says, the ache in her chest loosening as she laughs.

“we’ll never know,” rafe half-shouts as he runs to pick up the ball. he bounces it back to her.

she dribbles it a few times, squaring up with the net, and launches the ball in the air. it falls in the net.

“nice,” he breathes. “don’t let my coach see you. he’ll replace me.”

she turns to look at him, mirroring his smile.

“you’re laying it on a little thick, cameron,” she teases. she’s touched that he’s being so sweet just to cheer her up.

“just telling it like it is,” he says. he passes the ball to her again. “let’s see how you do with some defense.”

he steps between her and the net, a hard wall against her. his hands find her hips as she tries to line up with the net, his big frame moving with her.

“i’m pretty sure that’s a technical foul,” she says. “you can’t touch me like that.”

“nah, that’s not a rule.”

“you can’t just decide that,” she laughs.

“such a tight-ass,” he scoffs with a smirk, taking his hands off her hips and cradling her face. “how about this? this allowed?”

she giggles, holding the ball in one hand and hooking the other around his neck to pull him closer. their lips touch tenderly, both of them expelling a quiet sigh of contentment under the kiss.

she pulls back. he’s too busy staring at her in awe to block her from making another shot.

“your defense sucks,” she teases. rafe puts his hand to his chest in mock outrage.

“now you’re trash-talking?” he says. she watches him pick up the ball. he makes it look so effortless, the net swishing as the ball whizzes through it.

she’s seen him on the court so many times before, but she never tires of the sight, always so struck by how skilled he is.

they play for another twenty minutes, talking and taking turns shooting hoops, until she finally feels too tired to keep going. and she realizes she hasn’t thought about her failed midterm the entire time.

“thank you,” she says as they settle in his car. “i feel better. sweaty, but better.”

“it always works. just gotta burn your energy on something else so you can’t use it stressing out.”

“smart,” she says. “i’ll keep that in mind when i take your spot on the team.”

“i’m not so sure about that anymore,” he says. “you take fucking forever to throw. you’d run out the shot clock every time.”

she laughs, thinking about how many times in the last twenty minutes she kept the ball in her hands while she got lost in conversation with him.

she playfully shoves him, but he takes her hand and pulls her in, meeting her in a slow kiss.

“listen, i don’t want to hear the word stupid come out of your mouth again,” he mumbles. “not when you’re talking about yourself. i’m serious.”

she looks down at her lap, exhaling slowly. she knows he’s right. there’s no reason for her to bully herself so mercilessly.

“okay.”

“and please, baby,” he says solemnly, his tone deep as if he’s about to say something serious, “throw the ball faster next time.”

“i hate you,” she laughs, shoving him again. he smirks at her, putting the car in drive.

rafe has felt proud of himself a few times in his life, mostly with his athletic achievements, but he thinks that hearing her laugh, knowing he’s the one who made her feel better, is the proudest he’s ever felt.