#i badly want crabbies

[thatbitchery]

& ladies remember outside your leveling up circles if anyone asks you eat at the drive thru, it's burger & fries, you prefer sweatpants and spend your time watching Turkish Thai dramas and your sexual orientation is pretty kpop boys. Your goal in life is to get married and stay at home and your hobbies are flip flops and watching gmmtv, you're the most basic average Jane there is out there you just dress up because mom makes you. What have we said about keeping your competition feeling safe? In competitive environments so school and office and your local communities and especially your family you're couch potato potato so you're not available because new series just dropped- do you want to cause unnecessary friction? Keep your level up to yourself and your level up groups people are herds herds herds with that crabby crabba crab mentality so any sign you could leave the herd behind is a trigger to Crabb crabbb crabby pull you back into the bucket. Human beings are animals before they are people when will you understand this? Why would you scream in the face of a tiger? Do you want to get bullied? What happened to moving in silence.

Keep your workouts out of social media and your trips to the dermatologist to yourself, your paycheck is between you and your bank and stay away from the brands unless everyone in your group is wearing them so brands are just the average. Why would you sabotage yourself like that? Why would you go telling anyone your goals? Do you want to get laughed at? Haven't you learned your lesson? Hasn't your mother, your own mom, judged you for wanting to be better? Even though you're not in competition? Then why would you tell Betty from HR when it's literally the most competitive environment out there? Do you want to ostracize yourself? Then don't create drifts with your herd and level up in the shadows, when your current friends see you eating healthier its omg lol why? Then the answer is actually I took a blood test, autoimmune diseases are around the corner you don't know how badly I need McDonald's rn but life first. You're dressing elegant lately- girl stop my mom is insufferable she's making me these conservatives please. You look nicer- I'm on birth control, I had that acne issue. I feel the weight creeping up lol. You're taking more classes? Gosh yes there's this scholarship thing I need so you know. Your posture is better lately- baby girl stop my back was on fire last week leave me alone I was dying like- it's never because you're bettering yourself. Never. Ever. As long as they're concerned couch potato potati potata average Janey.

Human societies are competitive in nature especially among women because resources are so scarce and we know this and herd mentality makes us detest people that place themselves in positions to have better access to these so once you start getting better its underhanded compliments and what's app groups and side glances as you walk, learn to keep people comfortable and do you in the background, don't buy into whatever self soothing we are all good people bs you're being sold, we are only as supportive as you're below us once you start doing better your own sister and best friend have a lot to say. Move in silence & keep your life away from public view and have believable excuses for what you can't always hide & find a way to say you're better than me. Why cause unnecessary friction?

[strniohoeee]

Luster

Pairing: The Triplets X Female Reader

Synopsis: Chris asked Y/N to join him and his brothers for a smoke session, but when readers lip gloss messes up the blunt they get mad, and Chris takes revenge👄

Warnings⚠️: Smoking a joint, and that’s all. This is based on a tik tok I saw. I’ll put it at the end of the story. I thought it was so funny, and had to write it😭

Song for the imagine: Wu-Tang Forever- Drake

The worst part about showing the triplets how to smoke was that they thought they had better weed than me. Because of this they would always call me over to test out their new weed.

My weed was always the best, but they’d never admit that. But hey a free joint is a free joint, so anytime they asked me to smoke with them to try their weed I was fine with it.

I think the runner up for best weed was Nick, and I’m not sure who the fuck his plug was, but that shit almost beat me, but key word ALMOST. Matt and Chris hated this because they wanted to be better than Nick so badly.

Today I filmed a get ready with me for my YouTube channel, so I did my makeup. I loved makeup, and I haven’t put my makeup on in so fucking long. I did a shimmery glitter on my lids with fluffy lashes, and a brown lip liner with super glossy lips.

I was getting ready to remove my makeup when I got a text

Nightmare Blunt Rotation😧🍃

-I got some new weedddddddd -Chris

-good for you…my shits better-Me

-Come smoke with us pleaseeeee-Nick

-ehhhhh I don’t know-me

-Not knowing if you want to smoke weed is bizarre. Get your ass over here-Matt

-I just filmed a video, and have to edit it for my channel-Me

-Who gives a fuck!!! Come over now- Chris

-Fine god damn- Me

-YAYYY! See you in 10? -Nick

-I was going to take off my makeup

-We can not wait for you to remove your makeup, and do a whole 30 minute skincare routine just come over here with your makeup on- Matt

-OMFG yall are down bad to smoke, fine-Me

-YESSSS see you in 10-Nick

I grabbed my purse and my water canister and headed out. Driving 10 minutes down the road

-Let me in bitches-me

10 seconds after sending that message Matt opened the door

“Yoooo bitch” I said hugging him

“Look at you with your face all done up, you look good” he said hugging me back

“Thanks” I said pulling away and following him up the stairs

“Have no fear the bad bitch is here” I said announcing my arrival

“Never say that shit again” Nick said giving me a dirty look

“Alright Mr. Crabby pants” I said rolling my eyes at him

“Ready to smoke the best weed of your life?” Chris asked showing me the joint in his fingers

“Yeah sure whatever you say” I said rolling my eyes at him

We headed outside to the yard, and sat in a circle

“Y’all go first I want to film some tik toks” I said

They all started smoking while I filmed some tik toks of myself

“I don’t know Y/N…..this shits good as fuck” Matt said to me

“Yeah let me see” I said taking the joint and taking a hit, letting it fill my lungs before exhaling

“What do we think?” Chris asked me

“Mmmm it’s good” I said shrugging my shoulders

“It’s better than what I had last time” Nick said

“Yeah it is better I will say, but I don’t know I like mine the most” I said to them

We continued to smoke, until Chris sucked his teeth

“The fuck is all this sticky shit” Chris said examining the joint

“Let me see” Nick said grabbing the joint and looking at it

“The fuck is this” he said laughing, Matt took the joint and looked at it

“It’s making the joint unravel” he said passing it to me so I can look at it

“Yall are so fucking dumb, that’s my lipgloss” I said laughing

“Who the fuck smokes with lipgloss on” Chris said

“Well me…yall didn’t let me remove my makeup, so suck it up. Lick all that brown lipgloss off” I said laughing at him

“You made it unravel” Matt said looking at me with a straight face

“MY BADDDD” I said laughing and applying more lip gloss

“Stop putting that shit, I’m about to roll another joint, and you’re not fucking this one up” he said beginning to roll another joint

“Hoes mad” I said shrugging my shoulders

I took my phone out to film a tik tok

“These fuckers are mad that I got lip gloss on the joint, like can’t a bad bitch smoke in peace” I said to the camera

“Not when it’s making the joint unravel” Chris said

“Yall this is my nightmare blunt rotation….I can’t even smoke with my lip gloss on” I said shaking my head

“Take that shit off” Nick said laughing

“NEVERRRR LET ME LIVE” I said to him

I looked back at the camera “He mad cause my lip gloss is poppin” I said

Suddenly Chris leaned over, and wiped my mouth with the back of his hand wiping all my lipgloss off

My mouth dropped and all my lip gloss was gone…..

They all started to laugh behind the camera

“Chris your fucker” I said leaning over and smacking him

I ended the video, and posted it. Immediately it started to get so many views. All their fans were dying laughing, saying how this is such Chris behavior

“Your fans are on my side you bitch” I said to Chris

“Too fucking bad don’t be smoking my shit with gloss on” he said making a funny face at me.

We finished the second joint, and just sat outside laughing and talking, and we eventually ordered some food. We filmed tik toks and watched some movies.

The End

Hope yall enjoyed this one. This was personal self indulgence LMAOOO😭🖤

-J💅🏽

[metacrisisdoctor]

Analgesic Effects

rose helps the doctor with his migraines. this was written for the @tentoorosemicrofics and i used the prompts “edge” and “worry” 🤭

 rated e. 2.9k. pwp. canon compliant.

READ ON AO3

If Rose's heart is beating a little faster than usual no one has to know. She isn't sure exactly why she's so nervous considering the amount of sex she and the Doctor had had in the past ten months, but her fingers tremble a bit as she pulls her hair into a messy bun, rearranging the poof a few times until it looks right. High and centered at the top of her head, with a few strands hanging loose to frame her face.

She takes a deep breath and looks at herself fully, tugging a bit on the top of her scrubs here and there before turning to the side and checking the back. The point really isn't to look sexy she reminds herself. The point is to look like a massage therapist. A proper one. Besides, she knows the Doctor finds her sexy no matter what she wears.

With that in mind, she applies a bit of chap stick and begins to make her way to their adjoining bedroom.

A smile creeps up her face.

Sometimes she still can't believe it when she sees it. The Doctor, here, in her bed.

Waiting for her.

He doesn't even know what he's waiting for, he had just trusted her when she told him to get naked, which endears him to her even more. She didn't think it was possible to love him more than she already had, but he proves her wrong every single day.

"I said get naked, you know."

Her tone is light, obviously teasing. In the dim light of their bedroom, her eyes wander over his slim frame. There were times, many many times, - sometimes inappropriate times - that she wanted this so badly that it felt as if it might consume her, eat her alive.

Of course, back then, she was aware they were under a blackhole or some other awful wonderfully exciting danger, but there was always that little part of her that just wanted him. She'd ignore it as best she could until she could be alone with her imagination and her fingers then. This is a whole other game. She can't help but lick her lips in anticipation.

Now she wanted and knows she is wanted just as much, sometimes more. She'd always known, but it was a different kind of knowledge now. Having had his tongue on her, his cock buried inside of her.

God, his cock. Just the thought of it made her mouth water.

"I am naked," The Doctor says, holding a melting ice pack to his temple. His face is still pinched with pain. Obviously the paracetamol she had convinced him to take earlier hadn't done much to help his migraine.

She had always hated seeing him in pain, but it was rarer before. Usually it was emotional pain. These blinding headaches are something new. He hates them for reasons most people do. But she knows he hates feeling weak, hates feeling too human. He hates how they make him a bit crabby at UNIT sometimes, especially with her mum.

It was a while before he had accepted that he could be weak with her sometimes, that he was allowed to seek comfort in her and with her.

Rose tsks, "You're in your boxers. That's not naked."

He cracks open an eye then, looking at her in amusement. "Semantics. What are you wearing?"

"Oh, this? I've had them for ages," she fibs, waving her hand in the air. "Did you know I'm a certified massage therapist?"

The corner of his mouth quirks upward, catching on. "Is that right?"

"Mhm," Rose murmurs, walking over to their bedside table and leaning down to grab her lotion. She smothers a smile at the way she could feel his eyes on her, his gaze heavy on her backside.

It's a "girly" lotion, some lilac or lavender scented thing Pete had bought her a few Christmases ago when he didn't know her well enough yet to know what to buy her, but it is nice. And expensive. Other blokes might squirmed away at the idea of having something like that put on them, but the Doctor isn't any other bloke.

In fact, he's already turning to lay on his stomach when Rose looks up.

"Tell me if anything doesn't feel good, yeah?"

He nods, a soft and trusting smile on his face that made her heart grow warm.

She may not have actually been trained in massage therapy, but she knows enough about the human body - partly in due to the Doctor's constant ramblings about them - to put that knowledge to some use. The bed dips as she climbs on, straddling him from behind, careful not to put too much of her weight on him. She leans forward and presses a soft kiss to his shoulder then sits up, uncapping the bottle and squeezing a generous amount onto her palm. After a few moments, she feels him begin to relax while she carefully digs her fingers and palms into his tense muscles, undoing the knots that he carried for who knows how long as best as she can.

Fifteen minutes later his breathing his so even that she wonders if he has actually fallen asleep. The idea makes her feel an odd combination of relief, pride and just a touch of disappointment. He actually needs sleep now. Not as much as she does, which he often boasts about, but he does need it. That does not mean he always gets it, which doesn't help his headaches at all, a fact that she often pointed out when she's dragging him out of his lab at close to midnight sometimes. Sleeping is a good thing, but she had hoped that would happen after the second part of the massage.

The fun part.

Her hands and wrists were a tad sore, though. Giving a massage was more work than she had expected it to be. She lets her hands glide down his back, running the blunt edges of her finger nails down his smooth skin until she hears him sigh.

"I thought you fell asleep," Rose keeps her voice low, her hand moving up to card through his mussed hair softly. Simply because she can.  

The Doctor shakes his head, reaching behind him blindly until he finds Rose's hand and pulls it up to his lips. "Nah, not sleepy."

Of course not, Rose thinks but keeps to herself. Truthfully, she's glad. Very glad.

"D'ya wanna turn around so I can do the front?" It wasn't meant as a double entendre, but-, actually yes it was. But only if that was what he wants. Rose gnaws at her bottom lip, feeling him hesitate.

"Erm. Well,-"

Oh, no. Her eyes go wide, imagining she fucked up and pinched a nerve. "Did I do it wrong?"

"Absolutely not. You were brilliant, fantastic even. You always are. It's just. Well, you see- actually, it worked a bit too well. I'm a bit..." Rose can't help it, her free hand coming up to cover her mouth while he beat around the bush. Her body shaking until her ribs hurt with her efforts to keep quiet. "Are you laughing at me, Rose Tyler?"

"No!" Rose laughs, wiping a tear from her cheek. "It's just, if you have a boner you can just say that, Doctor. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

He huffs in response as she slides off of him and he begins to turn onto his back, "Alright, my feeble and pathetic human body has betrayed me once again. I have no control over any of my senses. Happy?"

"Stop being such a baby."

His lower lip shoots out at that, pouting up at her ridiculously.

The smile wavers on her face, her throat going dry when she sees the tent he's pitching in his boxers. It's almost more erotic than if he were fully naked somehow, the spot of precome that spread where the tip is straining against the cotton begging to be given attention makes her head spin. Unable to stop herself, she kisses him. Softly at first, then longer and slower, until his mouth falls open for her. He pulls her closer until she's laying half on top of him, one of his hands cradling the back of her head and the other moving up to cup her breast over the loose fabric of the scrubs. She shivers when his thumb circles her pebbled nipple, deepening the kiss further until they both moan.

The kiss breaks only when she wraps her hand around his still clothed cock and gives it a firm squeeze. The Doctor's head fall back against the pillows, the pain replaces with pleasure. She props herself onto an elbow to watch. His fingers trace mindless patterns at the nape of her neck while Rose watches his eyes close. It's serene.

She leans down and tugs on that plump lip she loves so much, then moves her lips lower. She kisses his jaw, then drags her open mouth down his neck, the slight stubble there burning her flesh in the best way. The angle becomes a bit awkward so she shifts again, moving onto her knees to straddle him again, letting go of his erection to rub herself against it. She moans into his skin as her throbbing clit brushes against him through the layers between them. The small amount of friction is enough to make her feel frayed at the edges.

The Doctor feels it too. She can tell by the way his hands move to her hips and press her down further until she was grinding herself against him, her lips wrapped around his Adam's apple. Fuck, she's so wet. But this isn't about her. Not this time. She had been nervous earlier. Because as much sex as they have already had, it still isn't everyday that the Doctor lets himself be taken care of. He's usually the one with his head between her legs, he's usually the one kissing down her body and touching her. Exploring and taking his time. She doesn't mind this, of course not. She loves it. But she wants to make him feel good too.

Relationships are about balance.

She also wants to see him lose control.

Rose lifts her head, "Does your head still hurt?"

"Not really thinking about it." The Doctor grits out, his hands wandering up her shirt to cup her tits. Rose's eyes fall closed, a whimper escaping her mouth as he rubs and tweaks her nipples in a way she had dreamt of so many times during their travels.

"Doctor."

He sighs, "A bit, yes. But I'm feeling much better."

He opens his eyes and wiggles his brows at her, his eyes glassy with desire. Still, it isn't the answer she was looking for. It isn't, but it is. She rolls her eyes fondly then reaches under the pillow, pulling out a black silk eye cover. She looks at him expectantly until he lifts his head so she can slip it on. It's no small matter, considering how sensitive he is about losing control of his body. Not that she has any wild plans, it really is just to block out the remaining light from the room, which she knows he understood. It didn't change the fact that he was opening himself to her in ways that she had never imagined he would.

(For some reason, she fought the urge to say good boy. A thought she files away for later.)

"For the record," Rose starts, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "I love your body."

Understatement of the century.

He doesn't respond, just swallows thickly. Another time, without someone else, she knew he'd be all winks and of course you do, look at me. No one else gets to see this side of him, no one else ever would. A feeling of possession arises in her. He is hers. Her Doctor. With that, she continues her journey, her lips now pressed into his collarbone. Her mouth opens to she can slide her tongue from one end, to the jut, then all the way to the other end. Her palm spreads on his chest, scraping her fingers through the smattering of hair there as her mouth moves lower and lower until she can feel his heart racing against her lips.

Her knees slide down the mattress, crawling down so she can kiss down his quivering stomach.

She can hear his heavy breathing when she reaches the elastic of his underwear, her own heart thundering in her ears. She nudges him to spread open his legs so she can get between them. How quickly he obeyed makes her womb clench. Moments later, his cock springs free when she pulls the plaid obstruction half way down his thighs. It takes all her strength not to pull him into her mouth right away. Instead, she wraps her hand around the base. Her thumb rubbing there softly.

Gorgeous, she thinks. Or maybe she said aloud, because he reacts. A small reaction, just a small laugh of... not disbelief. But uncertainty perhaps.

"What?" Rose asks, looking up at him with a furrowed brow. She watches him think, undoubtedly considering whether or not he wants to say.

"You don't think I'm too skinny?" He asks after a moment.

Her head rears back in surprise. Of all the things he could be self conscious about, that did not occur to her. Well, nothing had actually occurred to her. She thinks he's perfect, as if the universe had cut him from her dreams and placed him in her arms. But of course, there were things she had held back as well. Understanding sinks in as her mind wanders back to her telling him he wanted him to change back, to her not answering how he looked or telling him what she thought. She thinks of Mum constantly telling him to eat a bloody sandwich.

She shakes her head despite the fact that he can't see her, "I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I thought it then, and I think it now."

Every word is true.

There isn't an inch of him that didn't, that still doesn't, leave her wanting. She loves the sharp edges of his bones and the lean muscle that covers them. She loves how he was just a bit taller than her, but not so tall that it's uncomfortable. She loves his freckles and his asymmetrical face. His hair, of course.

He opens his mouth to respond, but whatever he was going to say was lost when he places the flat of her tongue against him and runs it up the part she has grown to love the most. His gasp is music to her ears, urging her on when she reaches the tip. Gently, she pulls his foreskin back and licks the glistening slit before swirling her tongue around the entire head. The Doctor breathes her name, shaky and needy. He's hard as steel when she takes him into her mouth, moaning around him.

Through the fog of her own desire, she looks up at him as she begins to suck in earnest.

It's a glorious view, better than any planet he could ever show her, she thinks. It's a form of worship, though he is no god. Not to her. Yet it feels holy to run her tongue over every ridge and vein that wraps around his length.

He lifts an unsteady hand and shoves the eye cover up, needing to see her. The bun she worked so hard to perfect comes undone, her hair falling down her back and covering her face. Tender fingers reach down and gather the blonde strands, holding them in place and guiding her movements all at once as he props himself on his elbow into a half sitting position. She can tell he's close by how he's thrusting into her mouth, any and all finesse slipping from his movements. It isn't long until she felt him begin to writhe, his breathing growing more erratic by the second. Her hand strokes as her head moves up and down, her lips slick. The room is quiet aside from the wet, sloppy sounds they're making and the distant noise of traffic outside their window.

There is a soft pop sound when she pulls away, followed by a whimper that she'll cherish until the end of her days. She's stopped a few times now, every time he gets close. She takes a moment to catch her breath, smirking at how his hips raise on their own accord, chasing her warmth. She runs her free hand up his thigh. "I want you to come in my mouth. Do you want that too?"

His jaw clenches, his body answering for him.

She takes in the way he's trembling, reduced to pure carnal need because of her. For her. It's almost enough to want to make her stop and fuck the orgasm out of him, but she wants this more. Keeping her eyes locked with his, she gives him a few shallow pulls, then swallows him whole and redoubles her efforts, pulling every trick she knows to drive him to the brink until he falls back onto the bed. His hands lose their grip on her hair, too lost in pleasure to do anything but flounder them around until Rose grasps his wrists and holds them down, pinning them to his side tightly.

He chokes her name when he comes, his back arching and causing his ribs to poke out. His hips buck up, fucking her mouth, chest pink, heaving and sweaty as he spills down her throat. Her jaw aches, but she works him through it until his stiff body sags, his cock softening between her lips.

"You okay?" She asks, kissing his hip bone.

"Never better," His voice is lower than she's ever heard it, "but I'm worried you may get your license revoked."

[emsprovisions]

Gustholomule HC’s Part II

• Matt goes to bed at ungodly hours on school breaks. He could easily sleep for over 12 hours. Gus sometimes wonders if he’s alive or not until he finally gets a good morning text around 5pm.

• Gus however has a bedtime he needs to stick to, not because he has to, but because if his sleep schedule/routine is broken, he will be SO crabby the whole day.

• however, Gus has spent late hours into the night giggling and kicking his feet talking to Matt over penstagram for hours, this was when he first started crushing on Matt. Matt no longer expects Gus to stay up late for him, he will do many things, but he will not face Augustus Porter’s wrath for sleeping an hour late.

• alright, I have seen SO many takes about this one and it may be controversial but. Gus is gay and Matt is pan.

• stolen with permission from @sapphic--kiwi but Gus did used to identify as bi, back when he was a young baby gay and still figuring out his identity, but as he got older, he realized he didn’t like girls at all! He’s a man kisser yuck /aff

• Matt, however, has had many crushes, on many different witches and demons (and even a robot) but Gus was the first crush he’d ever felt so strongly for. It was more than just a crush. Matt Tholomule was in soul wrenching, disgustingly utter Like™️ with Gus. He’s the first person Matt’s ever liked that he looked at and wanted so badly. He’s disgusted ofc but damn if he didn’t want to hold stupid Gus’s hand and kiss his dumb face—

• Matt has a snake palisman, named Gremlin (hc by me and design courtesy of @sapphic--kiwi ) but he has a fear of flying. It gives him motion sickness. Especially the way Gus flies on Emmiline Bailey Marcostimo. Still, he flies sometimes if he’s running late to school and Steve can’t take him in the motorcycle.

• Gus and Matt LOVE supporting each other in their respective sports. There’s no way in hell Gus would ever miss one of Matt’s grudgby matches, and the reverse is true too: Matt goes to all of Gus’s flyer derby games. They are so so supportive of their S/O and they both turn into complete idiots when they see each other in uniform.

• when they do eventually get married (when they’re much older ofc) they take the name “Tholomule-Porter” :))

• Gus is so particular about being clean but he’s also a hoarder. They have so many random human artifacts in their house, but the moment Matt tracks mud in the house— all hell breaks loose.

• I can also see Gus as an upper-level Illusions professor at Hexside one day and Matt being an architect (again, thank you @sapphic--kiwi for helping refine this one) who sometimes has to work in the field and get his hands dirty to make sure his vision is properly executed.

[gffa]

Here’s the fandom policy I try to live by:  For as much salt as I put into the world, I try to put at least twice as much sugar.  I’m a regular human being, I’m going to dislike things, I’m going to find things to be racist/sexist/ablist/etc., I’m going to find things just badly written, I’m going to be crabby, I’m going to want to be salty about the stupid shit I see sometimes, and I’m going to want to put it on my personal blog on the internet.  But no one post exists in a vacuum, you can’t isolate any single post of someone’s to say they’re just being a hater or being too negative, or even the opposite, that they’re never critical of things.  If someone posts once with criticisms, then five times with complimentary things, that person is not being overly negative about a series, because you cannot expect people to put the whole of their worldview into every single post they ever make.  By all means, feel free to unfollow or block if even one post is too annoying for you, that’s curating your experience.  But someone is not objectively too salty because 1 posts out of 50 aren’t all sunshine and candy.

[twistedtavern]

So for your swap au how do you think do they react to their canon selfs

Ooooo now THIS is a good question. I don't have all the really precise details down, but here's the list

Riddle: Probably finds Swap!Riddle uncanny, but eventually they'd come to an understanding. He just deals with Swap!Riddle the same way he deals with Cater.

Cater: These two would end up on lawn chairs wearing shades and sipping some trendy drink together by the end of the day, trust. They're both just realizing how happy they both are to be away from their sisters. I just want them to be friends ok

Trey: A bit confused, because Swap!Trey is probably directly behind him with a pencil and notepad 24/7. But, when he asks why he finds the reason kind of endearing. If the other him wants to be a good brother so badly, he wouldn't stop him. Most likely ends up showing him the ropes in making small treats his siblings or underclassmen enjoy.

Deuce: Oh they'd fight. Lawful Good himbo vs Chaotic Good himbo. No notes

Ace: Typical highschool boy asshole vs uptight preppy asshole, no notes.

Leona: Swap!Leona would ong be disappointed by his canon self, but ends up leaving him with some ideas on how to build his support and reputation at home. Overall, they'd be decent with each other after a while.

Ruggie: Oh they're SCHEMIN. Friends, but only because they're both about to commit some crimes together. Not a single madol in NRC is safe.

Jack: At first thinks his swap self is cool, but ends up disappointed. He's not a "lone wolf" as much as he is just crabby, apathetic, and friendless. Probably tries helping him out, and it depends on whether or not his efforts are successful that he deems his other self a lost cause or not.

Azul: This boy is FLABBERGHASTED by his swap self's business practices. How the FUCK, over the span of a WEEKEND, did he change industries? One minute, Swap!Azul is running a miniature factory, the next minute a god damn BANK, all in the same area?!? Somebody's gotta pick his jaw up from the floor. FURIOUSLY taking notes on this man's work ethic. Everyone in the dorm has resumes half a mile long, and Azul honestly applauds him. Although on a personal level, he dislikes Swap!Azul's Floyd-like tendencies, but tolerates him.

Jade: There is not a force in Wonderland that can shut these two up once they encounter each other. All anyone is gonna be hearing until whatever interdimensional rift that brought him here closes is mushrooms, mushrooms, MUSHROOMS. Good GOD the MUSHROOMS. They're like the painting of the two scholar dudes talking to each other. Instant bond.

Floyd: For a twin, he sure does hate when someone else looks like Jade. He tries to get him to be fun, but Swap!Floyd is too much a mix of himself and Jade to be palatable to him. Not friends.

Kalim: Tried walking up to Swap!Kalim, but he assumed he was an assassin taking his shape to kill him and take his place without suspicion. So basically, BONK. Not even a chance to explain, just BONK. On sight, no questions asked. Next thing you know, Kalim's being chased down every hallway in Scarabia by a maniac trying to beat him over the head with anything in range. It would take Jamil intervention to get Swap!Kalim to save canon Kalim from getting choked out Bart Simpson style. After everything is cleared up, Swap!Kalim just ends up feeling annoyed by canon Kalim. Probably chews him out about his carelessness being the reason why he can't defend himself and tries taking canon Jamil to 'protect' him.

Jamil: I think they'd have somewhat of a mutual understanding and just vent to each other. I think they'd initially be like "man I would honestly prefer your Kalim over mine" but eventually they'd reach a part that's a deal breaker and agree to stick with their actual Kalims. They'd cook and gossip together ^w^

Vil: Oh. Oh no. Vil has never seen the purpose of carrying crosses and other such 'protection from evil' trinkets, but now he DOES. Swap!Vil makes canon Vil want to become a nun at Noble Bell, the vibes are THAT bad. However, he cannot seek his newfound passion for divine protection because he's trying to prevent his Rook from being tied up and dragged into a dark hallway every 5 seconds. Despite canon Vil's ADAMANT desire to be as far away from Swap!Vil as physically possible, Swap!Vil is actually very interested in canon Vil, MUCH to his dismay. Somebody save him please

Rook: Two jungle boys, chilling in a hot tuuuub, five feet apart so they don't fight. Tbh they'd get on each other's nerves after a while if things don't go right, but otherwise I think they'd be somewhat okay. They have so many contrasting opinions that canon Rook would find interesting, but Swap!Rook just thinks he's weird. All in all could go both ways

Epel: Oh they hate each other's GUTS. Nary a note in sight, there is nothing that will change that INSTANT hate.

Idia: He is nerding OUT over Swap!Idia's tech, but the sort of okayness between the two of them is INSTANTLY soured when he gets near Swap!Ortho and immediately gets a murder lazer pointed square at his head. Maybe they'll patch up, but I severely doubt it now that I think about it. There is definitely potential for a dynamic between canon Shroudbros and swap Shroudbros though

Ortho: Would probably be friends with Swap!Ortho because they'd hit it off pretty quick. Ortho is naturally friendly and Swap!Ortho just instantly trusts robots. It's cute, really. Until Swap!Ortho meets canon Idia and they both just cling to each other and leave canon Ortho feeling like he was abandoned. Very much like that one song in Corpse Bride where Emily is sad because Victor only loves Victoria for the fact that she's alive. They might have a chance to patch up, but only if the right things happen.

Malleus: Goodness, Swap!Malleus is LOUD. But, when it comes to their dorm members, they both can agree that they’re the best ever ^w^!! Fast friends, these two. Despite their differences, they both talk about gargoyles together and enjoy having the company of someone new. They compare and contrast their lives and families, and find that really, they’re not so different after all. I’m sure there is absolutely nothing that can break this friendshi- Wait a minute- NO THAT'S MY CHILD OF MAN! PUT THEM DOWN YOU BASTARD

Lilia: Ah, yes. Two old men just chilling together, sharing war stories and being proud of their babies. Wholesomeness incarnate, no notes.

Silver: Would probably get dragged into one of Swap!Silver's pranks, either as an accomplice or a target. Other than that, I think he'd admire how his other self had learned how to master many fae abilities, and try to learn from him. They are friends, very nice.

Sebek: Oh Sebek is SO jealous of Swap!Sebek, it's unreal. He wants to feel the young lord's protection as well!! I think he'd be jealous on more than one front, because his swap self has a much calmer and more approachable disposition and appears more disciplined and mature. Meanwhile all of this goes completely over Swap!Sebek's head. They're kind of hilarious

[bestfictionaldivorce]

The Distortionist and The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

(Fanfic for @white-boy-bracket)

Paul Matthews sat holding a brown paper bag in his hands. He’d been told it was a bag lunch, but the contents didn’t feel like a bag lunch. He finally worked up the courage to open it and peer inside. It contained,,, a gun and a note. Paul reached in and pulled out the note. The note read “I authorize you to use my firearm - General John MacNamara”. Paul felt a mix of relief and disappointment. Relief that he could now defend himself, and disappointment that Emma Perkins hadn’t been the one to send it to him. Emma Perkins, the crabby barista. Paul liked her a lot. 

The sound of smashing glass pulled Paul out of his thoughts. Paul twisted around to see a lanky monochrome young man with a strangely twisted spine, who had his fist planted in a mirror. The young man seemed satisfied and pulled his fist away. He noticed Paul watching and turned to him, smiling in a way that made Paul nervous. 

The young man walked over and sat down next to Paul. Paul scooted away nervously. “Uh,,, Hello?” Paul said. The young man tilted his head. “Greetings.” He said, “My name is Christopher Pierre. And you are?”

“Paul. Paul Matthews.” Paul said quickly. This “Christopher” kid made him nervous. 

Christopher attempted to recline on one arm, but fell backwards and smacked his head on the floor. “This was easier when I had my bat.” Christopher muttered. “But that “Showrunner” just had to take it away.” He sat up again and looked Paul in the eyes. Paul squirmed internally. SOMETHING about Christopher was off, but Paul couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It could be Christopher’s twisted spine, or his paper white skin, which was paler than half the other people in the arena. 

“Why did you break that mirror?” Paul managed to ask through his nervousness. 

“They hate me. They’ve hurt me badly.” Christopher brushed his fluffy white hair back from his face, revealing a large black burn. Paul cringed. 

Christopher grinned. “Terrible isn’t it? One could almost call the mirrors abusive.” he said, but his voice was insincere, manipulative. Paul’s discomfort increased the more he spoke to Christopher. There was something inhuman and cruel about him that made Paul want to run. 

Paul knew he could shoot Christopher if he needed to, but he still felt a sense of dread. If he did shoot, there was a chance the Showrunner would punish him. Paul stood up abruptly. “I have to go do something.”

Christopher tilted his head again. “I guess I will see you later then.” he said coolly. Paul nodded and only relaxed when he couldn’t see Christopher anymore. There was something off about Christopher, and Paul had the feeling he didn’t want to learn what it was. 

[barbiewritesstuff]

Bad Date

-- my first Luke Tillerson x reader fanfic because I love him --

"Please pick up, please pick up" you mumbled. You were sitting on a closed toilet in the bar's women's bathroom. Someone aggressively banged on the door. 

"Baby, you almost done? Come baaaack, we were havin' fun" Your date drawls through the door. You were most definitely not having fun. Dave, or David or whatever his fucking name was had been nice until after his first beer. Then the crass remarks and unsavoury questions started and they didn't stop until beer five when they were replaced by unwanted physical contact. He had almost cornered you when you escaped to the bathroom.

"Please pick up" You begged but no dice. Rhett hadn't answered his phone and neither had Perry. Calling Royal was out of the question and you didn't want to worry Cecilia so your mind went to the only other person who would probably pick you up. 

Billy Tillerson had always been nice, and you guessed he might do you this favour but it was nearing one in the morning and the land dispute had made it so you hadn't spoken too much recently. Still, desperate times and all that, you called his house number. 

It rings and it rings and it rings. Then a click and someone lifts a receiver. Your date bangs on the door again and the door shakes. You don't let the person on the other end of the line speak.

"Billy, it's Y/n, I need a massive favour. I'm on a date, he's had beer and he's gropey and I am so scared. Please please please, can you pick me up. Please, I'm scared" 

Your voice is shaky and you almost whisper it. Whoever heard your message breathes in and out a few times

"Billy, please"

"Is that him banging on the door?" 

Not Billy. It's Luke, you think and all hope that someone might save you just fizzles away. He bangs again and you think Dave might break down the door, you whimper.

"Where are you?" He asks. Whichever one of the Not-Billy-Tillerson Tillerson brothers picked up the phone sounds tired and crabby.

"I'm at the --"

"No, I know the bar, I mean where are you hiding?" He cuts you off

"Bathroom" 

"Okay, hold tight, I'll be there in ten"

You hear these words and you swear that you might kiss him when he gets there, whichever one he is. 

The next ten minutes are the scariest moments of your life. Dave is now trying to break down the door and you don't understand why no one is stopping him. Can't they see? Can't they hear? Are they okay with this?

Ten minutes pass and nothing happens.

Eleven minutes pass and nothing happens

Twelve minutes pass and nothing -- the banging abruptly stops. 

"Hey, you okay? Can you open the door please?" The voice sounds familiar and you're pretty sure it's the same person you had on the phone so you unlock the door with trembling hands. It's pushed open from the other side to reveal a tall blonde man with a tan cowboy hat, a blue shirt and jeans. 

"Jesus, you look --" He says and Luke can feel himself cringe at his words. You look fucking terrified, that's what you look like. Your cheeks are wet with tears and you are shaking so badly he's not sure you can even walk to the truck. 

Underneath all of that though, you looked nice. Clearly, you had been looking forward to the date, because you were dressed nicely in a green dress and high heels. You always looked nice -- not that he looked, of course -- but this was different to your usual farm clothes. 

"Obviously you idiot", he thought, "obviously she looks nicer, this was a date"

He stretched his hand out and he practically had to drag you out of the bathroom. 

"Do you want a drink to calm down?" He offers, but you refuse

"I just want to go home" You tell him, barely meeting his eye.

He wants to hug you, rub circles in your back and tell you "it's okay" and "you're safe now" but he doesn't because you are so fucking scared and it would make it worse. And he's not even sure you know which one of the Tillerson's he is anyway, which makes this all so much worse because he knows exactly who you are. 

He guides you to the car, you regain a little confidence in the parking lot and by the time you climb in the car, your hands are steady enough to fasten your seatbelt by yourself.

The ride is largely silent and he realises halfway through that you have fallen asleep with your head on the window. He's not entirely surprised that something like that would take the energy right out of you but he can't help but feel a little happy that you trust him enough to fall asleep next to him. 

"Raise your standards" he thinks to himself.

He parks the truck in the Abbott's driveway, half surprised that the lights are still on. He opens your door, unfastens your seatbelt and carries you bridal style to the front door. He shifts you a little so he can knock. 

Cecilia opens the door, confusion and surprise etched on her face as she takes in the scene. 

"Do you mind if I --?" He asks, almost pushing himself in. You're not too heavy for him but you are slipping and he needs to put you down. He drops you off on the couch.

"Is she okay? What happens?"

"She's okay. She fell asleep in the car" he says, removing his hat from his head and holding it in his hand instead.

"What are you doing here?" Rhett asks, walking in like he wanted nothing more than to cave his head in.

"Dropping y/n off"

"Why?"

"Bad date"

"And why did she call you? It ain't your job to look after her"

"Maybe she wouldn't have had to if you answered your damn phone. Because I can guarantee she wouldn't have called us as a first choice." He whisper-shouted

"Alright, that's enough. Thank you, Luke. That was very nice of you." Cecilia rubbed his arm a little as she tried to diffuse the situation. Luke took his leave and put the hat back on his head on the front porch.

You were not so sure how you got in your bed. But when you got out you were still wearing yesterday's date clothes. You took them off and jumped in the shower, and when you're back, Cecilia was waiting on your bed. 

She wasn't your mom, or even a relative, really. Technically you were only Perry's family, as Rebecca's little sister. You lived with them before she went missing but the Abbotts had gracefully allowed you to stay with Amy and Perry. 

"Luke Tillerson brought you home last night" she stated and you wondered how much he had told her.

"Yeah, I tried calling the boys but I got no answer."

"You could have called Royal. Or me"

"I know… I just --" 

You didn't really know how to tell her that you are already far too indebted to them to call them to save you whenever you need saved. 

"Are you okay?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, if that's okay?" 

She nodded and stood up to leave.

"I made you pancakes" 

You smiled a thank you smile, and got dressed. 

The pancakes were good but you could have done without the deafening silence of everyone around the table. You didn't know what they're thinking and it stressed you out. In the end, you didn't even finish your plate, you just stood up

"I'm going for a walk," you said and left before anyone could stop you.

You ended up walking to the Tillerson house with the intention to thank Luke for the previous day. The cleaner said he wasn't in the house so you roamed around for a bit before finding him in front of the garage they kept the quads in. He was on his quad, scrolling through something on his phone.

You coughed.

"I just wanted to say thank you." You said when he looked up. Maybe it was the light, or just the fact that you were alone with him for the first time ever, but he just looked so handsome. Something brewed in your tummy and you could have sworn it fluttered when he smiled. 

"It's alright. I wasn't going to leave you stranded like that" he said.

Of course. "Stupid girl, what were you hoping for anyway?" You thought, because for a brief second you wanted him to have saved you for the same reasons princes save princesses in fairy tales.

You stayed silent for a minute

"Do you want to have a go on the quad?" He asked, licking his lips.

"Oh, no thanks" you replied

"Scared?" He chuckled

"Yeah. Too loud, too fast. They're dangerous"

"You can wear a helmet if you want, I'll go slow."

"I'm alright. I wouldn't mind you wearing a helmet though." You didn't know where you got the bravery to say it, but you didn't regret it when he smiled a shy little smile

"Why's that?"

"I like your face, you should keep it safe" 

He blushed.

"Billy! Can you get me my helmet?" He shouts at the barn behind him. Billy replied something but it's muffed and you don't hear.

"'Cuz I like my face, I'd like to keep it safe" He shouted, echoing your words. You share a smile and look at each other. 

"Look, I get it if you're not ready after yesterday. But I would like to take you out to dinner"

[rants-of-an-ecologist]

Endeavour Morse: Human Disaster

Me and my Morseverse Discord fam were talking earlier about Morse and Joan and why they never worked and why Morse is such a disaster and I just had to note it all down.

It started when we were discussing fanfic and what Morse would say if he was being crabby and it was noted that he’s crabby with Joan for most of season 6.

Morse and Joan are always so disconnected from each other. They’re both interested overall but never at the same time. they’re just never on the same page.  She makes a subtle move one minute and he rejects her then vice versa only, at the end of season 5, her rejection is pretty permanent so when she tries being nice to him in season 6 he makes it difficult for her because he never reacts well when he’s hurting. He gets defensive and mean, the walls go up.

There’s been a fair few people commenting on how Strange is being paired with Joan now and why he’s the better fit for a relationship and fundamentally Morse is a disaster when it comes to relationships, and Joan can be at times, and Morse seems to bring out Joan's more disastrous side. They communicate terribly. The silly man randomly proposed marriage to her as a response to her being in a bad situation when he still hasn't managed to call her Joan rather than Miss Thursday at any point, because he is just The Most.

So yes. Strange is steady, kind, reliable, has been calling her "Joanie" for years, and can actually talk to her without falling verbally over his feet or randomly being grumpy at her...

Basically, he’s like Fred.

Morse is…Morse.

It’s noticeable that it's the bank hostage situation that makes Morse finally realise his feelings for Joan. He's desperately attracted to situations and people that make him feel intensity and passion and emotional danger, and going through that experience with Joan is what makes everything click into place. When he finds someone who is just lovely to him and awesome - Monica being the obvious example - he's not as invested, even though he does have feelings there. And the rest of the time he's drawn to murderers and victims and others who are deeply troubled and/or awful. Or people like Claudine, who's far less into him than he's into her and he knows he's going to get hurt at some point. Massive massive emotional masochism and honestly? Dearly as we love Morse, Joan's probably well out of it.

Makes us wonder what he’d have been like if Constance had lived. Far far more sorted, for sure. Probably vastly kinder to himself and with a far more positive view on relationships. Much greater ability to trust that he's capable of being loved, also. He probably lives with the conviction that all of the Thursdays will start rejecting him at some point. And everyone else whose good opinion he cares about too.

Other than his mother his whole life has been rejection. His father didn’t know what to do with him, Gwen hated him. Then Susan left him for someone else and Oxford kicked him out. The police made no secret that they didn’t know what to do with him.

Also this, right there, is partly why we so so want things to end well with Fred and Morse. Because Fred chose him. And kept choosing him. Fred has never rejected him, at least never long-term (even though there have been times when they've been awful to each other, it's never lasted and Fred has always come back to choosing him again).

And it matters also that Max's friendship is one he'll have for years, and that Strange also will have his corner even when they can't remotely understand each other. And that when Morse chooses Lewis, Lewis will choose Morse right back. We think it's Fred that taught Morse that he could be liked and chosen and not-rejected, even if only by a tiny handful of people.

(If things do end badly between Morse and Fred,  that will actually cause some continuity problems with Inspector Morse because Morse in the 80s/90s/00s is capable of believing that he can be chosen and liked, even though he does find it difficult. And Fred and him falling out permanently would undermine that capacity.)

We hope you enjoy our Endeavour Ted Talk. All credit to my fellow authors @momonne2022 @mywingsareonwheels @astridcontramundum @endeavour12345 and everyone who isn’t on Tumblr.

[x-ceirios-x]

Shouichi

Basic Data

Name: Shouichi 

Nickname/s: Shou

Age: s1 - 17

Gender: cis guy, he/him 

Occupation: bounces around a lot. pao family tea house employee as of s2

Nationality: fire nation

Abilities

Non bender Picked up a lot of street fighting tricks in his teen years and doesn’t exactly know how to fight ‘fair’. Then again, when you’re fighting for the ability to eat the next day, fair doesn’t quite matter. He had quite a bit of natural strength from working on a farm as a kid (and all the manual labor that comes with that) and learned to use that to his advantage pretty early on. 

Appearance

 1 2

Physical features: (hair, eyes, skin, build etc) really choppy cut, curly, med. brown hair, black eyes, pretty thin build

Height: i don’t have a number because none of them do but. A little taller than zuko (as of s2)

Standard clothing: i have a sketch of this somewhere i need to find it.

Defining features: (scars, burns, piercings, tattoos, signature accessories etc) killer burn scar he gets on his stomach during the final battle

Other outfits: some formal fire nation stuff he gets from zuko eventually, but he still prefers his stuff from the earth kingdom

Personality

On the surface, everyone thinks he’s a good kid that just keeps to himself. While it’s true, it goes a little deeper than that. He intentionally doesn’t get to know people better than basic small talk and keeps them an arm’s length away at all times. He’s well-mannered and polite, making him a customer favorite at the tea shop, but he’s incredibly independent (to a fault) and insists on doing everything himself.  Emotional vulnerability isn’t his strong suit by any means, but he takes time out of his day to make the kids he sees on the street smile (whether it’s with leftover food or a joke someone told him). 

Likes: country scenery, animals, kids (major soft spot there), flowers

Dislikes: city life, crabby & entitled adults

Strengths: friendly, relaxed, observant, resourceful, independent

Weaknesses: stubborn, reckless, also independent

Fears: time passing, dependency

Relationships

Affiliations/Alliances: team avatar, the white lotus league, iroh, zuko

Family: unnamed father (deceased), unnamed mother (deceased)

Friends: toph beifong, sokka, momo (specifically them, he gets along with the whole gang)

Romantic Interest/s: Zuko

Biography:

Shou grew up on a ranch on the outskirts of the fire nation, pretty far from any close city. His dad raised him since his mom died from an illness when he was a kid, and the two lived a pretty quiet life. The war finally reached the furthest parts of the fire nation (not like it hadn’t before, but things got worse), so the two decided to sneak out and hope to restart their lives in the safe city of Ba Sing Se. When he was about 12, they left for (what was supposed to be) a well-covered dock for refugees to leave the country, but it was run through by fire nation soldiers the night they tried to escape. The boat left with only half of the passengers it was supposed to. His father didn’t make it on the ship. Later, he learned his father died in prison. 

Across the sea and through a long trek on land, he made it to Ba Sing Se. He began working as much and as hard as he could—most places, however, wouldn’t hire a 12-year-old. This led to stealing food to survive, despite how badly he didn’t want to. He learned he had to do what he could to survive rather quickly. The older he got, the more money he could make at formal jobs, so by the time he was 14 (and looked a little older), he was able to get something steady. 

However, in the meantime, he got involved in a lot of back-alley, pretty shady ways to make a little extra: he started in fighting rings where people usually felt bad for the scrawny underdog, but not enough to throw the fight. He learned how to dodge and throw punches pretty quickly (considering there were some nights his life almost depended on it) and eventually started winning. The older he got, the easier it was, but the harder opponents he was thrown in with. Most of the reason he couldn’t hold down a job for very long was that he’d come in so bloodied up he’d get fired. He couldn’t leave, however, because a lot of the other guys had bets in on him. The time he tried, he ended up fighting off a couple of (slightly drunk) guys with knives. 

Things started becoming a little more interesting when he started working at a tea shop around 17. He hadn’t been there long when a rather odd pair (father and son, he originally guessed) showed up. The older man, whose name he later learned was Mushi, was the talk of the city when word got out about how amazing his tea was. As much of a pain he was, always nagging about injuries or offering to help him with things, he was the reason he was getting more money. The guy couldn’t be that bad, right?

The other of the two, a boy about his age named Lee, was a different story. At first, he treated him like any other person he’d worked with—basic small talk was fine, but he tried not to make any meaningful attachments. However, one evening he offered to close with him, so he “didn’t have to be alone all that time”, and he found out he was seriously funny. And he had some of the strangest stories to tell—whether it was about his uncle, his younger sister, or even just the things he’d seen in his travels. He talked more than he expected considering how quiet he was when they were working with others around and Shou didn’t want him to stop. 

Over time, they grew particularly close. Rather than just working together, he surprised himself and called Lee a friend. Mushi seemed to enjoy that either of them had someone to talk to and began spending quite a bit of time together, even outside work. They went for lunch on a day they both had off and he showed him some of the prettier places in the city that they could get into without trouble. (Which also meant getting into a little trouble here and there.)

Their bond turned into something slightly more than friendship shortly afterward—at least from Shou’s perspective. Even before going to Ba Sing Se, he’d never felt so strongly for someone and slowly began to realize things were different with him. He was happier than he’d ever been before and he wanted to tell him that. 

Never a master at words, he wrote him a letter instead of verbally telling him—it was much easier when he could plan everything out before he wrote it down. He offered to meet him that night if he wanted to talk and asked Mushi (who he’d warmed up to a little) to give it to him.

He waited from a half hour before, till hours after they were supposed to meet. It took a long time of denial and several ruined dishes he’d tried his best to cook himself for him to realize he wasn’t coming. The next day at work, neither Mushi or Lee showed up—when he tried to ask the owner, he said he wasn’t given a reason and hadn’t spoken to either of them since the evening before. 

Things became dull again. There was no one there to make him laugh and get the chores done just a bit faster. Despite how much he didn’t want to admit it, he missed Mushi’s songs and stories as well. Whatever happened to them was far outside his control and nothing he could be bothered by anymore. He went back to keeping his head low and guard on, preferring not to let himself get hurt again. It wasn’t fair that they—specifically Lee—left without another word, and it reinforced his already rather draining idea that most people he cared about ended up leaving or being separated from him after a while. 

He heard nothing from either of them for months, until one evening he came home to find Mushi sitting at his dining room table, drinking tea and watching the world go by. After almost throwing the closest thing (probably his shoe) at him, they sat down and talked over tea. 

Mushi explained his name was not truly Hong Mushi, but he was a fire nation general named Iroh, and Lee was Prince Zuko, the fire lord’s son. That should have taken longer to sink in, but he was throwing so many details at once that he had no choice but to follow along. He learned that there was a (now) secret organization of bending and weaponry masters meant to protect and train the avatar (who was very much alive and trying to stop the war) known as the Order of the White Lotus. With the avatar’s help (which he didn’t know he was helping yet), the order was attempting to take back Ba Sing Se the same day the avatar faced Fire Lord Ozai. Iroh very quickly emphasized that he expected him to keep this secret unless he took him up on his offer: come with the white lotus and have a chance to "change his destiny".

That was something where he and Lee (technically Zuko, he guessed) differed—he wasn’t a big believer in destiny. But if it meant out of his run-down one-bedroom and a chance to see more than just the world directly around him, he’d take it. 

They left soon after—he dropped off a letter at the tea house letting the owner know he would be taking an "extended leave of absence" for reasons he wouldn’t discuss and figured he could deal without half a week’s pay with Iroh. They got in touch with other masters who agreed to help and eventually arrived at their camp a few miles outside the city. In the meantime, Shou began asking questions—all of which Iroh would answer with patience. Why did they lie? Why were they not in the fire nation? What happened that he was an apparently disgraced general when he seemed like he’d be perfect in leadership like that? He explained what happened to his son, to himself in the passing of the crown, to Zuko (although he tried not to dwell on that, saying it wasn’t his story to tell), and how they ended up in the situation they were in. He took the time to answer everything and tried to pass on some wisdom through his stories while he was at it. Shou didn’t realize it for a long time, but many of those stories stayed with him far into his adult life. 

Each of the masters arrived and each had their own way of asking “who’s the kid?” And each time was a little easier to not snap at anyone and say he wasn’t a kid. Something about patience and open-mindedness Iroh was trying to teach him. Along with teaching him morals (and begrudgingly accepting that all these old guys were now honorary dads), he started picking up on several fighting techniques. He never got formal training, but picked up on things quickly and tried his best to mimic them. Piandao was even nice enough to teach him how to use a sword—or, at least, how to keep the other guy who’s got one from killing you. 

With time, the stories and lessons sunk in, and he was a lot less conflicted regarding Zuko and everything that happened between them. Iroh reassured him not all hope was lost on him and he hoped to see him again. Somehow, he managed to work in several jokes about how oblivious he was whenever this was brought up. He refused to admit those feelings he had for Zuko might have been reciprocated despite how badly he wanted them to be. 

He got the opportunity to find out not long afterward—one morning, he was practicing reading the maps Pakku allowed him to borrow (and ensured he took very good care of them) when Iroh came into the tent and told him he had a visitor for him. He prepared for the worst and hoped for the best when Zuko walked through the entryway. After a much-too-long and painfully awkward conversation, he found out he’d kept the letter. A million times over, he apologized for not coming despite the fact he wanted to. Too many other things happened and it led to them not seeing each other for months. After clearing the air of any and all confusion, frustration, and anything related to their relationship, they finally kissed—Shou didn’t think he’d been that happy in a long time. 

The final battle was quickly approaching, however, so that happiness didn’t last long. As soon as they were together again, they had to be separated—Zuko and Katara were going to the palace to challenge Azula, the other three (whose names he’d just learned, along with Katara’s), Suki, Toph, and Sokka, would be trying to take out the fire nation airships. Everyone was hoping Aang, the avatar (apparently) would show up at some point during this whole mission, considering he’d been missing for a few days before that. He seemed to be the only one concerned about that aspect of the plan, so kept his mouth shut about it. 

Later, he learned that the avatar was a twelve-year-old kid with a pet flying lemur. And a flying bison. Because all of that made complete sense to any ordinary person. Appa was cool, though. 

When everyone left for their missions, he kept to the promise he made to Zuko: he’d stay with Iroh the best he could and ensure he made it out of the fight okay. They talked for a while at sunrise and Shou took the opportunity to thank him for everything. The stories, the learning opportunities, and simply someone being there was more than enough for him. Since he got to Ba Sing Se, he’d been on his own, and it was nice to have someone to rely on. To Iroh’s surprise, he actually hugged him before they charged in. 

He very quickly learned how important all of those lessons were. He’d missed the adrenaline of a fight (when the tea house got popular he was able to get a little more distance from the rings he usually fought in), but this time he wasn’t facing half-drunk idiots who didn’t know how to fight but could hit hard. He was fighting trained, human-weapon fire benders who got some extra gas power from the comet.  

Again, he picked up on things fast. While the lessons were important, nothing would prepare him for the excruciating pain a fireball to the stomach would feel like. He caught on just in time, too; if he hadn’t jumped in the way, Iroh would have taken that blow to the back. Luckily, this was the tail-end of the fight, and they secured the city not long afterward. 

The rest of the team met back in Ba Sing Se at the request of Iroh—he stressed that Katara, at least, had to come back because some injuries required the healing powers of water bending, and Earth Kingdom medicine didn't cut it. Shou, despite being stuck in bed, asked him not to name him specifically in the letter. She would come to help where she could, they both knew that. He didn’t want to worry Zuko more than he had to. 

After quite a bit of healing, Doctor Katara (he started calling her that) insisted that he stay off the muscles as much as possible, and getting a lecture about him not taking time to heal past broken bones either, she handed him off to Zuko. He got yet another lecture about how he should have been more careful and how he was terrified for him and he was right to be. Through a lot of tears and several punches to his shoulder, he finally convinced him to take a breath and sit with him for a while. The two ended up falling asleep (the best they had in days, maybe weeks) and didn’t live it down from Sokka, Aang, and Toph for several days. 

Afterward, things went as smoothly as they could. Rebuilding a nation (and the world, really) after a hundred-year war wasn’t easy, but Zuko seemed to handle it well. Still having complicated relationships with the fire nation, Shou decided to head back to Ba Sing Se and help manage the Jasmine Dragon with Iroh. They visited each other when they could and communicated mostly through letters for a while. 

After a long time in this process, he finally left the Earth Kingdom and decided to stay with Zuko at the palace. They got married (there was no rule against it but many probably wouldn’t accept it) and eventually adopted a little girl named Izumi. 

Their adventures don’t necessarily end there. Things still happen and Shou made friends with someone else from the fire nation—a girl not much younger than himself named Kiui. 

Extra Information:

Main goal: Live to the next day and figure out what to do when that happens. 

Hopes/Dreams: Not having to survive one day to the next, go back to the country and live on a ranch. 

Playlist

if you made it this far ily. lmk what you think about him <3

[furinatism]

ACE VENTURA X READER — epilogue

warnings: none! :) happy ending <3

"dr. ventura!" a voice called, turning down the hallway. your office was situated near the front of the building so that your colleagues could reach it easily.

you smiled, looking up from your files on the various pet patients of your clinic to meet the person behind the voice.

"what is it, morgan?" you asked, getting up from your seat. the girl- no, you shouldn't call her a girl anymore. she was a young woman now, after all. she shuffled slightly, smiling awkwardly.

"um, there are no more patients for the day. do you need help with anything?" she asked. you laughed, patting her on the back gently. "not at all! go on, you've worked hard today! you can go home for the day."

morgan and her parents were eventually reunited, but things didn't stay stable. their daughter was changed beyond repair- the girl who used to be a bubbly cheerleader was now a quiet 'freak' who refused to make eye contact with anybody. you wanted to keep looking out for her, of course. you and ace tried your best to support her when her parents couldn't, and the two of you let her move in with you temporarily once she turned eighteen. you offered her a job at your clinic until she could find what she wanted to do. she went to therapy weekly, and used one of ace's dogs as a therapy dog.

morgan nodded, smiling slightly. "y-yes, of course! thank you, y/n." she turned away quickly to go start your shared car. wasn't it a wonder that after all of her psychological damage, she could still relearn how to drive?

you locked up your office for the night, making your way to the receptionist desk. laikyn and janice both sat there, taking care of files and records. you smiled at the women, waving.

"g'night, ladies!" you chirped, and they both returned the sentiment.

fieldpool & co. was shut down not long after arthur's death and milton's arrest. plenty of the employees were able to get right back on their feet- after all, they had reputable, desirable positions.

however, the two remaining secretaries of fieldpool & co. could easily be found elsewhere for companies hiring. so, when you opened your own clinic, you knew you needed to hire them. janice had been nothing but kind, and while you and laikyn had gotten off to a rocky start, she was one of the key elements leading to milton's arrest.

you set the nightly alarm and made your way to the car. morgan was sitting in the passenger seat, meaning she wanted you to drive. after long work days, sometimes she didn't want to speak; you had learned to pick up on her nonverbal cues, however.

you drove to the house you and ace now resided in (along with morgan), ready to laze around after working all day. you were sure ace was already in bed waiting for you.

you and morgan were greeted with countless animals as she went off to her room and you went upstairs.

there, you found ace in your shared bed cuddled up with snuffy and callie. snuffy was an old woman now, and therefore more crabby than before. however, she was never opposed to letting her 'parents' snuggle with her.

you quietly did your nightly routine, slipping into pajamas. as you snuck into bed, ace groaned.

"what took ya so long, babe?" he muttered gruffly. his voice still brought butterflies to your stomach. you laughed, cupping his face as you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"just work, as always. and anyways, don't you have a raccoon to go save tomorrow or something?" you remarked snidely, still trying to keep up the playful atmosphere despite how badly you'd miss him.

he groaned again, squeezing your hand. "yes, but that's easy work for me, doll! what you really need to worry about is me not getting a good nights rest because i don't have you by my side!"

you couldn't help but giggle at your husband's pout. "i need to work to make money, ace. besides, whose name is on the deed?" you teased. he suddenly growled, enveloping you in his embrace. you shrieked out of surprise, still returning the hug.

he held you tightly, kissing the top of your head. "trust me, y/n. i know how important your job is. you know that nobody's more proud of you than i am!" you smirked.

"of course, of course. now please, get some rest, darling," you cooed. ace held you even tighter. he noticed your staring and smirked.

"you like what you see?" he teased, reminiscing your first encounter. you groaned, pulling him closer.

"you're lucky i love you, ventura."

[jimintomystery]

Hina headcanons

[Above: I have no headcanon that can explain her hair swirl]

Hina is the goodest and purest of cinnamon rolls, the finest and youngest of the fine young eggs. Also she ships Naegiri, which, relatable.

More than any of the Trigger Happy Havoc survivors, I think Hina was most dependent on the idea that the class could all be friends and get through the Killing Game together. Every event that chips away at that fantasy erodes her hope. (This is more pronounced with Taka, but in his case he doesn't live long enough to see how much worse it can get.) What keeps her going is Sakura supporting the spirit of friendship no matter how crabby the others get.

Once Sakura is outed as the "traitor" in chapter four, Hina is forced to face the fact that the remaining kids are hardly friendly to her. Byakuya is openly hostile, Toko is deranged, and Hiro is a pain in the ass. Makoto and Kyoko don't directly alienate Hina, but when she (correctly) perceives they aren't getting along with one another, it adds to her disillusionment. Sakura's suicide puts Hina over the edge, to the point that she's willing to make a false confession so that everybody dies. It's telling to me that, in her grief, she doesn't play favorites--with Sakura gone, she can't foresee a future with any of the remaining kids. Which makes it more significant that this trial forges them into the tight-knit group she wanted all along.

I don't really have a strong opinion about whether Hina and Sakura's relationship was romantic. I lean towards the idea that Sakura died before it could have progressed that far. Whether they were in love or just gals being pals, though, the depth of their relationship--and Hina's sense of loss--is immeasurable. Going forward she's one of six people with an unbreakable bond...but she knows it should have been seven, and it just isn't fair. In that sense, Sakura is always with her, reminding her to protect their friends. Keeping the band together is the best way Hina can honor Sakura's memory.

To that end, Hina tries to be everybody's buddy, no matter how thankless a task that is. In Byakuya's case that's mostly a matter of tough love by way of teaching him not to be a dick. With Makoto it often means playing peacemaker, and helping him accept when things won't just work out, and Kyoko and Byakuya's pragmatism is the right call. Toko needs someone to tell her she isn't smelly and ugly and repulsive, no matter how badly she reacts to it. When it comes to Kyoko, Hina shows affection without expecting any in return--which endears her to Kyoko, but not noticeably, so it's like being besties with a grumpy cat.

I keep thinking there should be something between Hina and Hiro, since they're kind of the odd ones out when dealing with the Makoto-Kyoko and Byakuya-Toko stuff. On the other hand, I appreciate that Trigger Happy Havoc didn't just push them together for the sake of pairing everybody off. There just isn't much chemistry between Hiro and Hina--they don't really have anything in common, aside from feeling more like regular people you could actually meet in real life. In THH, they're not even particularly friendly, since she has no patience for him being a dumbass. But in a post-THH world, where half of their peers are Extra and Makoto is Hope Jesus, I think they would gradually turn to one another to be like "can you believe this shit?"

From what I can tell, all the THH survivors except Hina are assigned to the 14th division. I think they did their best to stay together within this complex and intimidating organization, and originally all of them were in 14. Hina's transfer to the 13th division, then, was a big change for the squad--the first time they were really separated since the Tragedy. I also think Hina accepted the transfer with the ulterior motive of ensuring none of the others would have to. Even standing apart from the group, her first priority is keeping them together.

[dastardlydandelion]

i realllly feel like gale is gonna die in scream 6 and? idk how to feel abt it?

on the one hand i could probably get behind it as long as it's a well-written and well-executed death. i'm also well aware ms. cox has been open abt wanting gale killed off in the past. the franchise is introducing and focusing more on new characters, and given that it's 26 yrs old i'm not opposed to this, and potentially the removal of gale gives them more room to do so.

...on the other hand i actually think dewey being out of the picture now is an opportunity to give gale's character other things to do. ngl i have never been fond of the "on-again-off-again," deal with gale and dewey. that got annoying pretty fast. would be interested to see the impact grief has on her character tho but! fuck! once again it is such a waste gale never learned her phone call doomed dewey?? i am so crabby abt this. if amber had bragged abt that (why?? didn't she? she's such a gd troll i blame the writing, she totally should've bragged abt this) it could've drastically changed the fight in scream 5 and would've added to the ANGST gale undoubtedly has come scream 6. presumably she will never learn what a badly timed phone call that was, since the only 2 ppl who knew that are dead.

buuuut idk. it would be interesting to see her get a subplot that doesn't revolve around the aforementioned romance and i really don't want to see her killed off *just* bc her love interest was.

[penig]

Turpitudia’s origin story goes as follows:

I have in my downloads folder for my full game four devices, three mattresses and a shower, that enable various types of casual woohoo, complete with suitable (and suitably pixelly, if you haven’t modded out the pixels) animations and, in the case of the shower, custom memories. After a couple of tests I could see that they wouldn’t do for my regular playstyle, but it seemed to me that they could have storytelling uses all the same so I didn’t get rid of them.

My game was crashing with increasing frequency and I was running out of things to troubleshoot, not to mention out of the patience needed for good troubleshooting.

I have a heel spur, and my doctor couldn’t read an x-ray or take into account factors like “people in agony are crabby” (not my doctor anymore), my husband has a Mysterious Ailment that’s had him in the hospital overnight multiple times this year, our car’s parts seem to have all hit the planned obsolescence date at once, our house had a Mysterious Leak that could only be solved by opening up a wall and part of a ceiling, meaning we had to do it without an estimate of cost in hand, and I wanted to sim but was out of energy to write up the storytelling album at the end of each household’s session, which meant if I wanted to document them I’d have to update it at time of posting. I was so tired and the damn game kept crashing so it was hard to remember what had and hadn’t happened.

And I got into a weird mood.

And my husband went into the hospital for most of a week, leaving me alone with three very upset cats.

So I created Turpitudia, made it Spring-Summer-Summer-Spring, added Bluewater Village, which is full of sims I’ve only really played before in their genderswapped versions and in whom therefore I have no invested character concepts, sold all the businesses, moved them into new houses in Turpitudia, made them new businesses, and started building community lots and playing with a handful of rules, to whit:

All unowned community lots must have at least one casual woohoo device and at least one place to get pregnant on it, no matter what it’s primary purpose.

All playable sims get Romance secondaries, all available aspiration-related Freetime perks, anti-jealousy potions, and as much attraction to both genders as the gender preference kite will assign in one go.

Nobody gets a career. They either freelance or own a business or live with someone who does. Whether or not someone does something to make money depends on what wants they roll and how badly they need money.

Absolutely no one gets pregnant without a want.

Nobody goes to university, no matter how much they want to.  No matter how tempted I am.

I can’t help doing rotation play, but I don’t have to stick to any sequence. I play who I feel like playing. I don’t try to synch ages, I don’t maintain a storyline. No, not even once I start hearing their voices.

Nothing matters. (Yeah, like that trick ever worked.)